#and would have to decide on what direction to go with it

[formulamar]

CONTROVERSIALLY YOUNG GF | PROLOGUE

max verstappen x femalereader

680 words

➛ disclaimer ➛

seven year age gap. please do not read if it makes you uncomfortable!!! completely fictional.

When you began to go out with Max Verstappen you anticipated for the news to make the celebrity gossip pages and cause an uproar among his fans. Afterall, it was Max Verstappen – four time world champion - you could hardly believe it yourself!

Miraculously, you and Max dated for six months without any interference from the media. It's not like your relationship was a secret or anything. Like any other couple you went out to the movies and dinned at nice restaurants. But early on in your relationship you discovered Max was a homebody, like you! So as you grew closer most of your time together consisted of hanging out at his apartment or yours watching movies or talking for hours. Still, everyone in your inner circle was astounded at how long you were able to maintain your relationship out of the media's radar.

Once you hit the six-month mark and it became clear to both you and Max that your relationship was serious you had a discussion about how outside discourse from the media would affect your relationship. Although you had only been with Max for six months you had witnessed how invasive fans and the media could be. You constantly saw articles discussing Max's private relationships with his family and his team. Every word, every action, every glance was examined and scrutinized. Max often joked that the more interviews he did the more he wished to move somewhere isolated and live out the rest of his days with you far from the judgment of anyone else. But you knew he loved driving too much to retire so early on in his career even with all of his success.

As always Max was direct, "The media is going to be annoying. They're going to make up the most ridiculous stories you've ever heard. Honestly, the best thing we can do is try ignore them as much as we can." You both agreed, the smartest decision was to take control of the narrative instead of running the risk of having your relationship leaked. So you decided to attend a beginning of the season Redbull event with Max. It was a well documented event and important media figures and photographers would be present. The timing was a bonus. Everyone was focused on the upcoming season and most of their curiosity was concentrated on the new car rather than the personal lives of the drivers. It was a perfect way to debut your relationship to the media.

That night approached quickly, and it would be a lie to say it wasn't one of the most nerve-racking nights of your life. As someone who wasn't famous it was intimidating to be exposed to that world. Luckily, your boyfriend saved you from overthinking. Max was reassuring and attentive the entire night. On the car ride to the event, he made sure to hold your hand and make casual conversation as if it were any other night. He also organized for you guys to enter through the back, away from the paparazzi. Throughout the whole night he barely left your side and when he did he made sure you were comfortable. These small details helped you stay grounded.

Overall, it was a good night. It was nice to finally meet members of the team who had such close bonds with Max. You loved hearing all the stories about Max's victories and his race weekend habits. It was obvious that his team adored him and that only confirmed what you had felt in your heart since the day you first met him -- he was a keeper. You and Max went home confident that you had beaten the media. What could they even say? Max was in a new relationship and he was happy. There was nothing else to it.

Except you made the mistake of glossing over a detail the media would never forget. Before you, Max had only dated women older than him. And you were six years younger than Max.

The next morning you woke up with a new identity. Max Verstappen's controversially young girlfriend.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌a/n: happy 2025 everyone 🫧 i had this idea… so i decided to go through with posting the first part. i’m thinking writing + social media posts! what do we think??? i’m open to suggestions so don’t be afraid to comment or inbox me!

[anythingneverythingnstuffs]

shower sounds

It was wrong. It was immoral.

But Simon 'Ghost' Riley couldn't help himself. He just couldn't.

You were his neighbor. His sweet, smiling, food-bringing goddess next-door. You had shared conversations with him, a few bottles of wine from time to time, too many cookies for him to count- you shared walls with him.

For the most part, the walls you shared with him weren't a problem. Sometimes you had your TV volume up too loud, sometimes you sang a bit too loudly to whatever music you were listening to, but that never bothered Simon.

Sometimes he could hear your cat jump up to her cat tower. He could always hear (and sometimes feel the vibration) when she would launch her chubby self up to the tower, and the tower would always knock against the wall you shared with Simon. It made him scoff quietly every time. He had a fondness for that fat cat, whether he would admit it out loud or not.

Maybe her owner, too.

His excellent hearing was partially to blame, so he never made it to be a big deal. He never wanted you to know he heard you that much, didn't want to make you feel bad for some reason.

And those noises really weren't all that bad. In fact, he looked forward to hearing those mundane sounds. Sometimes a cupboard would close a bit too loudly; he never imagined you being the type to go randomly slamming cupboards shut, and he would wonder if you were alright. If he didn't hear anything else, he wouldn't worry as much.

It was a different kind of noise that Simon 'Ghost' Riley was bothered by that came from your unit. Noises, rather. And it was always one kind of noise that led to another…

The first time it happened, he felt almost ashamed of himself. Almost. Maybe he'd be more full of shame if he hadn't felt so damn good after.

Simon had been lounging on one end of his couch, TV remote in hand. He was switching between channels when he heard the familiar sound of your shower turning on. 

There was always this almost ringing-like sound that would come through the building's old pipes when the water was on, especially in the showers. The sound was always the same when the shower turned on, though if you adjusted the spray of the shower head, it would become higher or lower pitched depending on the intensity of the stream of water.

He heard you turn on some music before he could hear the shower curtain being drawn back and forth as you probably stepped into the shower, naked-

Simon shook his head, trying to focus back on the task at hand, picking something to watch on TV.

But there was nothing on.

He decided to give up on that. Right after his television went black, he heard the familiar high pitched noise of the building's old plumbing go up a few levels.

Simon wouldn't have thought anything of it if his apartment hadn't been dead quiet, and if he hadn't heard a small moan through the shared wall between you.

Simon's eyes widened as he listened, his ear turned towards the wall now so he could listen more closely. He could hear the harsh spray of your showerhead, his mind racing with what you could be using it for and where the stream was being directed on your body.

He felt a spark of something, and his body began to respond to the intimate sounds you were making that echoed into his apartment through the wall. His breathing began to slow and he closed his eyes, focusing on the sounds. He could hear your soft whimpering and short gasps even clearer now.

A lump began to form in his throat as his body continued to react, his heart racing with excitement. His hand instinctively went to his groin, his fingers tracing the outline of his growing arousal. He knew he shouldn't be standing there, his ear on the wall between you, his eyes closed, listening to you pleasure yourself in the shower-

But he just couldn't help himself. The sounds were drawing him in, making him feel like he was part of something intimate and-

Simon's eyes snapped open, and he moved away from the wall, trying to compose himself. He couldn't believe he was getting turned on by listening to his sweet, adorable, sweets-and-food gifting neighbor getting herself off in the shower. He needed to put some distance between you. He needed to get out of there, to clear his head and calm down.

He had taken the first step to move into another room when he heard a faint whisper through the wall.

"Oh, yeah..."

Back against the wall he was.

He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He was stuck, his ears glued to the wall, listening to the sounds coming from the other side.

The sounds were getting louder, and Simon could hear you more clearly now. You were whimpering and moaning, your breathing a little shallower now.

He continued to listen, unable to move away. His breathing was ragged and sharp, his body reacting to every single noise on the other side of the wall.

Simon's hand went back down to the waistband of his jeans, his fingers tracing the material. He felt a shiver go down his spine as he realized what he was about to do, but he didn't stop himself.

He unbuttoned his jeans, his hands moving urgently as he listened to the sounds coming from the other side of the wall. He was getting more and more turned on as he heard your moans and whimpers growing louder, the sounds getting more frequent.

He shoved his jeans and boxers down in one swift movement, his other hand grasping his already rock-hard length.

He stroked himself slowly, his hand still pressed against the wall, his ear inches from the spot where your voice seemed to be coming from.

His eyes closed once more as he imagined what you might look like, pleasuring yourself in the shower, as he stroked his throbbing cock, already glistening at the tip with precum.

To keep his own pleasured sounds from getting too loud, in fear that you would hear him and maybe stop, he bit down on his own tongue, quickly tasting copper in his mouth as a muffled groan escaped his lips.

He imagined you in the shower, how wet you must be in so many ways, how slick your skin was as you touched yourself, and how much you wanted this, needed this release just as desperately as he did.

With a low growl, he began pumping his shaft faster, harder as he imagined your wet skin, your curves, your breasts, your ass... He could picture it all so vividly, thanks to the erotic symphony playing through the thin wall separating them.

He was stroking his thick, angry cock faster now, his hips rocking slightly, the sound of his own heavy breathing mingling with the distant echoes of your pleasure-filled cries.

"Fuck," he heard you whisper breathlessly before letting out a soft whine. You were getting close. He could tell.

So was he.

The sound of your moans grew louder, more urgent, and Simon found himself matching the rhythm of your strokes, pumping his own cock in time with your breathy pleas.

His grip tightened around his shaft, the veins bulging as he worked himself closer to the edge. The image of you touching yourself, lost in pleasure, fueled his desire, making him ache to be inside you.

He could almost taste you on his tongue, feel your slick heat enveloping him as he thrust deep. The fantasy was so real, so intoxicating, that he swore he could smell the sweet musk of your arousal carried through the thin partition.

A guttural groan tore from his throat as he quickened his pace, chasing his impending climax. Precum dripped steadily from the tip of his cock, leaving a sticky trail on his fist as he pumped faster, harder.

Then, he heard what he had been waiting for most of all, a sound he knew was coming but wasn't sure what exactly it would sound like. And it was more delicious than he could have ever imagined.

He heard you cry out through the wall, in the shower, as your orgasm washed over you. He really hoped that your sound of released pleasure distracted you enough to not notice his own.

Simon's entire world narrowed to the sound of your climax, a whine that seemed to pierce through the very fabric of his reality. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard, and it shattered his last semblance of control.

He knew he was about to be loud. He needed to do something, fast, that wouldn’t mean biting his tongue or lip off-

Simon bit down on his clothed arm as he came undone, his orgasm ripping through him like a hurricane while the pain from biting his own arm threatened to tip the scales of pain and pleasure towards the former, but maybe that made him like it even more. Hot spurts of cum spurted from his cock, painting the wall he leaned against in thick, viscous streaks. His hips jerked erratically as he rode out the aftershocks, his vision flashing white behind clenched eyelids.

When Simon finally returned to Earth, he was left looking at the aftermath of his actions as he caught his breath, breathing in and out with his eyes closed, still listening intently through the wall just in case you had any more delicious sounds in you.

masterlist

[audioandart]

are you really not getting it? (Genuine) The point isn't that they want to be a stay at home partner. That's great. Love that for them, genuinely I do. The issue is

The constant need to claim it was a terrible idea to fight for women's rights. We needed them. We NEEDED them. Please, PLEASE, look at history. We still need a bunch of them, hence why

It's dangerous in our current society to be a "trad wife". The way it's set up, these women are locking themselves into heavy power imbalances. That's not just a stay at home power thing, that's an abuse thing. You can be a stay at home spouse and not lock yourself into this, but the trad wife aesthetic/movement (because it's certainly starting to edge into the latter) is seemingly OBSESSED with not having any sort of preventative measures on counteracting this. That's why there are multiple images here showing how so many of them are explaining how they were stuck in abuse because of it.

It's spitting in the face of women everywhere. Again, not being a stay at home spouse, but the trad wife aesthetic specifically. These women are directly calling for a return to when they did not have things such as education, whether they realize it or not. That's how life was then, and the pushing they're doing (the "not going to college jokes", the comments on how you'd rather be stuck at home doing everything instead,) is directly related to how women did not go to college then. That's the joke. And look, this stuff is exhausting, but as the news article on the Afghan school girls is showing, education is a BLESSING. They will, with how things are going, likely never finish their schooling, or if they do it will be years and years late. They'll be with children of their own, and not be able to help them with their homework. This is something we view as so basic but this is the sort of thing that happens when we make women live this way. The ppl who have decided the trad wife life is what they want, they are (with their attitude, again, not their choice to want to be a stay at home spouse) directly spitting in the face of every woman throughout history who has not been able to get an education because of this

Basically, to summarize, it's not the issue of being a stay at home partner. Pretty much no one wants to really work, or they would rather have a job that doesn't ruin them. It's the choices they make to put themselves in direct danger, and the way they purposefully insult those who choose not to do so in ways that especially are quite simply, sexist. That's the issue

this little glamorized misogyny "joke" has run its course right. can we leave this corny demonic shit in 2023. it is done now. we've had enough.

[kiranerysismyhero]

imagine a bajoran teenager living on ds9 who's trying to decide what to do with her life and feels compelled to get closer to the Emissary, but gets the sense that Sisko is a little uncomfortable with being approached in that way, and she's a little young to join the bajoran military and try to get stationed under him, so she looks for another pretense to like have a conversation with him or something

and she overhears Jake talking about playing baseball with his dad, and maybe at the temple she overhears Kira talking about going to the holosuites with them for a baseball game, and she gets the sense that baseball is Important

so she gets up her courage and approaches him on the promenade some time when he doesn't seem too busy, like "excuse me Emissary, I wonder if you would allow me to ask a favor of you."

and Sisko tries not to look like he's steeling himself

"I would like to learn about Baseball."

and he gets this big grin. and tells her what day and time to show up to Quark's for the next time he and Jake are gonna play (and ngl maybe part of him is thinking she's closer to Jake's age than Mardah is...)

and like as they're doing warmups, and she's taking things Very Seriously trying to learn the ropes, Sisko makes an offhanded comment about how Cestus III would be the place to be if you really wanted to get immersed in the sport. and of course she takes this a lot more seriously than he meant it. like a direction in life given to her from the Prophets, directly from their Emissary.

so after all of one (1) time playing baseball in a holosuite she approaches Kassidy to learn more about Cestus III and works like a short internship under her to earn passage there. and shows up in like Pike City or someplace like "hi, does anyone around here hire non-federation citizens? i don't care what type of job. also when are baseball tryouts?"

and like after several years spent getting good, bc she approaches the sport with y'know religious devotion, she returns to her people. and starts a training camp on Bajor that's like basically a monastery. like teenagers who want to pursue religious studies but can't sit still long enough to have hope of becoming a ranjen, they get sent to her to learn to practice Baseball

like imagine a young adult with a really elaborate earring and also like the baseball shoes and the short pants tucked into tall socks going "you know, waiting for a sign from the Prophets is a lot like playing left field..."

[uncle-fruity]

Decided to read the article. I absolutely believe that what the author calls "male flight" has some validity to it, but it doesn't seem to be a reason men have given themselves, and it seems reductive to put the decline of men pursuing education solely on misogyny. Not to say that misogyny isn't a factor, because I agree that the article's thesis lines up with historical trends of devaluing anything seen as "feminine" work, and I know enough sexist men to know that many do have an aversion to being in anything they consider women's spaces. I'm not sure that I fully agree that the main reason men aren't pursuing education is the kind of direct misogyny described in the article, but I also don't have any evidence to the contrary lined up, and it's certainly within the realm of possibility.

Early in the article, the author lists out other reasons that have been cited to partially explain the decline in men's enrollment:

[Image Transcript: Other reasons I came across while researching for this article include:

-- Men can make more money without a college degree than women can, so women need college more.

-- Higher rates of alcohol, drug use, gangs and prison for boys negate college as a viable option.

-- Colleges are usually left-leaning, so right-leaning students increasingly don't feel comfortable there. And more men than women lean right.

-- Men join the military more than women.

-- A man will sometimes have to provide for wife/kids before he can finish college. /End transcript.]

Unfortunately, the author did not give citations for any of those claims, nor did she spend much time explaining why she thought these reasons weren't major factors -- or not as notable as the reason she gives: the rise of women in higher education. It would have been nice to see where that information was coming from. Particularly the point about higher drug and prison rates would be nice to have some context for. To be fair, there is a section just before the part that I cited that does give some sources for some of the other reasons people have attributed to the decline of male enrollment.

And, actually, to be extra fair, I'm gonna post that part as well, because it might be helpful. So this is the part directly before the passage I just cited:

[Image transcript: The Pew Research Center has found that boys are more likely to think they don’t need a degree for the jobs they want, and when they do enroll in college, work opportunities lure them away.

Ruth Simmons, president of A&M University thinks “the problem is the way we treat our boys in k-12. They turn away from school because of the negative messages they get at school… Behavior that is rewarded for boys doesn’t fit well with good student behavior.”

Another college president, Donald Ruff believes it boils down to money. “Honestly I think it’s the sticker shock. To see $100,000 that’s daunting.” /End transcript.]

I have little to add about this passage, I just thought it would be helpful to include.

The author also does not seem to consider race in her argument beyond drawing parallels between white flight and male flight. As far as I could tell, this article gives few statistics about the races involved. Is the influx of women predominantly white or predominantly non-white? When we talk about men not enrolling, is there any racial element being considered -- are non-white men enrolling at higher or lower rates than they used to? Are we talking primarily white men not enrolling, or is this male flight evenly distributed across racial demographics? How do these demographics play out? Because, to me, it seems like misogyny and racism could both be at play here. If more black women than ever are going to college, it is likely that male flight is in tandem with white flight, but to actually make that claim with any amount of credibility, we would need more information, which the article does not provide/is not focused on.

To be clear, I do not have the answers to those questions. I am merely speculating. This is one of those cases where I'd need to spend more time looking at other sources to get a broader view of the issue, including the sources the author included, the ones she used to support her claims, and the Freakonomics episode she mentions.

On that note, there's this interesting passage, which comes off as sorta... idk... I don't have the exact words for it. Undermining her own point a little? I'll analyze this feeling I have more after the image transcript. (Also, the "they" that is mentioned at the beginning of this passage is referring to the Freakonomics podcast.)

[Image transcript: They mentioned that there is one subset of men who out-enroll women. Which subset might that be?

Gay men.

While only 36 percent of US adults have bachelor’s degrees, 52% of gay men do.

"If America's gay men formed their own country, it would be the world's most highly educated by far.” - Joel Mittleman

At the Joel Mittleman quote in the podcast, I leaned forward…yes… surely now we will wonder why only straight men aren’t attending college… yes? /End transcript]

I feel like this passage gives a passing glance at intersectionality and then just hand waves it away to prove something about straight men. It just strikes me as something that should be explored more if the argument you're making is that men are leaving for misogynistic reasons. Because we should all know by now that gay men are perfectly capable of being misogynistic and that there are definitely gay men who don't want to share spaces with women. Is it that gay men overall tend to be more in touch with or comfortable with femininity, and are therefore less deterred by the presence of women in the classroom? I guess I'm honestly just confused as to how gay men factor into this conversation and why this deviance from the overall trend is not explored. It seems extremely relevant to the conversation?

Also, the article up to this point has been saying that men -- as a general category -- are choosing not to go to college. Is it true that the article is talking about straight men only, as this portion seems to imply? Are we considering gay men as somehow not men or unaffiliated with the rates that men are choosing college? Does the presence of more gay men in academia also mean that this "male flight" is also in part due to homophobia, or is homophobia not being considered as a factor the same way race doesn't seem to have been factored in?

Finally, how do trans men factor into this conversation? Were they counted as women or men? Were they considered at all? If they were, that certainly is not represented here.

So, I guess my overall impression is that this is an interesting and compelling thesis, but the specifics are missing in a way that makes the author's argument fall flat. I think this article would really benefit from a more intersectional approach. I also believe, as with all social issues like this, that the problem is never just one thing, but a combination of things, all of which need to be considered to address the underlying systemic issues that get us to this point. I absolutely believe the author is on to a big part of the problem, but I think her scope is limited and she needs a more solid foundation of information to build her argument on.

Idk. Read the article for yourself and see how it hits.

Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? (Celeste Davis, Oct 6 2024)

"White flight is a term that describes how white people move out of neighborhoods when more people of color move in.

White flight is especially common when minority populations become the majority. That neighborhood then declines in value.

Male flight describes a similar phenomenon when large numbers of females enter a profession, group, hobby or industry—the men leave. That industry is then devalued.

Take veterinary school for example:

In 1969 almost all veterinary students were male at 89%.

By 1987, male enrollment was equal to female at 50%.

By 2009, male enrollment in veterinary schools had plummeted to 22.4%

A sociologist studying gender in veterinary schools, Dr. Anne Lincoln says that in an attempt to describe this drastic drop in male enrollment, many keep pointing to financial reasons like the debt-to-income ratio or the high cost of schooling.

But Lincoln’s research found that “men and women are equally affected by tuition and salaries.”

Her research shows that the reason fewer men are enrolling in veterinary school boils down to one factor: the number of women in the classroom.

For every 1% increase in the proportion of women in the student body, 1.7 fewer men applied.

One more woman applying was a greater deterrent than $1000 in extra tuition! (…)

Since males had dominated these professions for centuries, you would think they would leave slowly, hesitantly or maybe linger at 40%, 35%, 30%, but that’s not what happens.

Once the tipping point reaches majority female- the men flee. And boy do they flee!

It’s a slippery slope. When the number of women hits 60% the men who are there make a swift exit and other men stop joining.

Morty Schapiro, economist and former president of Northwestern University has noticed this trend when studying college enrollment numbers across universities:

“There’s a cliff you fall off once you become 60/40 female/male. It then becomes exponentially more difficult to recruit men.”

Now we’ve reached that 60% point of no return for colleges.

As we’ve seen with teachers, nurses and interior design, once an institution is majority female, the public perception of its value plummets.

Scanning through Reddit and Quora threads, many men seem to be in agreement - college is stupid and unnecessary.

A waste of time and money. You’re much better off going into the trades, a tech boot camp or becoming an entrepreneur. No need for college. (…)

When mostly men went to college? Prestigious. Aspirational. Important.

Now that mostly women go to college? Unnecessary. De-valued. A bad choice. (…)

School is now feminine. College is feminine. And rule #1 if you want to safely navigate this world as a man? Avoid the feminine.

But we don’t seem to want to talk about that."

[lynzishell]

Prev // Next

Transcript below the cut:

MARCH

Megan: How did your appointment go? Asher: Good. It was just a consultation, but she walked us through the whole process and let us know what to expect and everything.

Megan: So, what’s next? Atlas: I go back next week for a physical. Blood work, sperm sample, the whole nine. Megan: Okay, great. I assume they’ll do some genetic testing, but are you aware of any medical issues that run in your family?

Atlas: [shrugs] Dawn inherited a disorder from our mom that affects fertility, but I don’t think that’s something that could affect me. Otherwise, I don’t really know. That’s the hard part about not being in touch with our family. I can’t exactly call them up and ask about their medical history.

Megan: You don’t think it’s worth trying? Atlas: [shakes his head] Megan: Okay.

Asher: Dr. Reede also said they have an agency they use for matching couples with a surrogate, and we can make like a video and a profile and all that if we want. Megan: Is that the direction you want to go? Asher: I think we’d prefer someone we know, but that has its own complications. And I’m not sure if anyone would be willing or able to do this for us. So, it’s best to keep all options open at this point.

Megan: Makes sense. Do you have anyone in mind that you’d ask? Atlas: [shrugs] Asher: We haven’t really talked about it yet.

…

Lex: Please don’t ask me. I’d feel like shit telling you no. Asher: Don’t worry, I know you well enough not to ask. Besides, you’re disqualified anyway. You have to have given birth at least once before they’ll let you be a surrogate.

Blair: Well shit, I was going to offer. Asher: You’re just saying that because you know you can’t now. Blair: That’s not true. I really would do it for you guys. Asher: Aw, well, that’s sweet, thank you.

Lex: So, who do you know that’s already had a baby? Atlas: Dawn, but she wouldn’t be able to. Lex: What about Iris? I’m sure she’s just waiting for you to ask her. Asher: [rolls his eyes] Absolutely not. I don’t need her getting in one of her moods and suddenly deciding she’s anything more than an aunt. Lex: Valid.

Atlas: Yeah, it’s going to be a lot more expensive, but I think we should contact the agency and see if they can match us with someone. Asher: It feels so weird, like some kind of bizarre dating service. Atlas: Right, like before there were apps and people would get VHS tapes and watch five-minute clips of people talking about themselves.

Lex: Was that really a thing? Atlas: It was! Blair: Would you ever submit a video clip for something like that? Atlas: Oh god no, I’d stay single.

Asher: I would! I’d do it just so I could watch everyone else’s. Lex: You’re such a shit. Asher: What? Curiosity. It’s not like I’d make fun of them or anything, I’m not a dick. And who knows, maybe I’d meet someone. You never know if you don’t try. Blair: That’s the only reason I ever sign up for apps. You never know who you might meet.

Lex: That’s true. Blair and I never would’ve met if I hadn’t decided on a whim to try speed-dating. Blair: See, Atlas, it’s all about putting yourself out there. Atlas: Luckily, I never have to deal with that shit again. I am married, in case you’ve forgotten. Blair: Oh yeah, you two really are into the whole monogamy thing, aren’t you?

Asher: A hundred percent. Blair: Fair enough. I’m getting hungry, are you staying for dinner? Asher: No, it’s Sunday. Lex: Oh yes, Dinner at Dawn’s. Atlas: Yeah, in fact we better get going.

[cumikering]

Gym bro Soap x reader

4k | fluff After a month away, Soap came back to a pleasant surprise

Your new building was a little far from everything. Sure, the walk to the bus stop was longer, but it meant fewer speeding cars or drunk people yelling in the wee hours of the night.

But it wasn’t what sold you on the studio flat. When the polite landlord took you there for a viewing, you passed the gym, tucked away at the end of the building. It wasn’t fancy – probably why it wasn’t advertised it in the first place, but it had all the necessities. You couldn’t ask for anything better for the price.

You weren’t into body building, but it was high time you made exercising a habit, especially now that you had no excuse to skip working out anymore.

In comfy shirts and leggings, you started going. Some days were easier, but you managed to visit the gym at least twice a week. You were proud of yourself for sticking to your commitment despite the circumstances.

See, you didn’t expect much, but the other gymgoers didn’t return your smile even when they would chat and giggle amongst each other. Needless to say, it wasn’t the most welcoming feeling. It didn’t take long for you to learn to keep your head down and stay out of everyone’s way. You started going in at odd hours for a little peace and quiet, so you didn’t feel judged and silly for even trying.

So one early Sunday when you pushed the door of the empty gym open, a relieved smile bloomed on your lips only to drop when grunts and heavy breathing greeted you. You paused in the doorway, spotting a man in a hoodie on the reclining bench.

Maybe another day.

You began your session: warming up on the elliptical before heading to the dumbbell rack. But oh, the only other man there, the same grunting one was there reracking his massive weights. Your steps slowed.

He was huge. He’d taken his hoodie off; his black undershirt didn’t leave much to the imagination. His shorts couldn’t hide his muscled thighs either. He had an interesting hairstyle - a mohawk, as if he didn’t command enough attention without it.

You spun on your heels; you could do something else meanwhile. You made your way to the pulldown machine only to realise the rope attachment was missing. You scanned the room, discovering that it was on the ground next to the cable machine… Which the man was now using.

Well, you certainly didn’t want to disturb. What if he was using it? You contemplated before he let out another strained grunt. That was a territorial display, wasn’t it? A stern warning for you to not bother him. You decided to use the bar already attached.

You’d never used this attachment - always in popular demand, but at least you’d seen people using it. You did your best; a set of 8 was a good start. As you shook off the strain in your arms between sets, you noticed the man walking over in your direction in the mirror.

Was he still using the machine? Or was your technique atrocious? It was a little heavy for you, but you controlled the negative, not letting the weights fall back and slam. Oh dear, you must have done something, judging by the frown on his face.

“How many sets left have you got on this?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to jump in,” you squeaked, jumping off the seat.

“No, no. If you’ve got sets left we could work in together.” He gestured for you to sit back down.

You didn’t know where to look. He had such clear blue eyes, trimmed dark stubble lining his shapely jaw. He was far more muscular up close; his wide shoulders only emphasised his tapered waist.

His hips canted as he casually shifted his weight. “And whilst I’m here, I can spot you too if ye’d like.”

With his frown gone, coupled with his Scottish accent, he appeared far more sociable.

“Oh…” You slid back into the seat.

He pulled the bar down for you. “I like a wider grip,” he said, pointing further down the curved bar. “But ye should see which grip is most comfortable. Lean back a bit. Keep yer chest up, and pull.”

You did as instructed.

“Nice an’ slow on the way back. There you go.”

You grinned. “Oh, that’s a lot easier now!”

“Let’s do a set of ten. That’s three… Four…”

After your last rep, he helped you with the bar again as you got off the seat. “Thanks so much!”

“Am Johnny by the way.” He full stacked the machine before grabbing the bar and taking the seat. “If you need help, feel free to ask.”

You would have loved to return the favour, but with the way he made his set of twelve look like nothing, he probably didn’t need the help.

You did two more sets after each other before you headed to the cable machine. He showed you his favourite exercises there, adjusting the height and weight for you. He didn’t make you feel small about making mistakes, instead encouraging you and helping you.

After your session, you thanked him again for his help.

“Don’t mention it. It was my pleasure,” he answered with a smile before taking a swig from his water bottle.

“See you around, Johnny!” You waved at him.

When you walked back to your flat, it dawned on you that it was the first time your workout didn’t feel like a chore. It was then you realised why people preferred having a workout buddy.

It was silly, but Johnny’s little crush on you made him feel like he was in primary school all over again. Because… Well, he wasn’t sure you were even aware of his existence before that Sunday morning.

He saw you first last month after he got back from a mission. It wasn’t often that he saw a fresh face in the gym so you didn’t go unnoticed, especially not when you looked like that. You always had your head down, as if you were trying to be invisible. You might have been to others, but not to him. Sometimes between sets, you’d smile at your phone, maybe even let out a small laugh. The little he saw intrigued him.

It was irrational - he was a grown man. He could just talk to you, but he didn’t, content with simply admiring you from afar. He wasn’t your type anyway. A sweet, quiet lady like you wouldn’t like a brash man like him. And so over the weeks, if he was lucky enough to encounter you, he’d steal glances.

Johnny always preferred his workouts at an idle gym, so when he went on an early Sunday, he didn’t expect anyone to walk in on him and his ratty hoodie. He was supposed to have a run after and didn’t bother wearing anything nicer than the hoodie he went to bed in. But when he realised it was you, he ripped it off immediately. He’d never let you catch him looking like he was allergic to the shower.

He didn’t know what came over him – maybe because he was feeling ballsy with his deployment coming up later that month. But before he realised what he was doing, he was walking over to you, armed with the absurd question of how many sets you had left. It was just as well no one else was there so there would be no witnesses to the devastation, but it wasn’t one. Far from it, in fact.

When you smiled, his stomach flipped – his first time seeing it up close, and directed at him. And that smile remained for the most part until you excused yourself back to your flat.

He swore to never leave his flat looking less than immaculate. It was a good decision, because two days later, he saw you again. He made a beeline to you at the pulldown machine as you finished your set.

“Hi,” he said, helping you with the bar.

“Hi, Johnny.” You smiled up at him. “Thanks.”

Catching you wasn’t hard after that. You told him your schedule and he tried his best to match it even when you didn’t always show. This went on for another week before he finally mustered enough courage to make his move.

“Want to grab dinner after this? Am leaving fer a trip tomorrow so I’ve got nothing in the fridge anymore.”

That wasn’t a lie, but why did he make it sound like he usually cooked his own food? He hated cooking.

“Oh, sure. I was planning on getting something too. What were you thinking?”

He made you choose the place and insisted on paying, mumbling something about you picking up the bill next time. While you appeared to be timid, it was evident it was only because you needed the right company. Over the meal, he enjoyed listening to you talk about your interests. You shared a similar taste in films and recommended each other a few titles.

When he revealed his hobby of sketching, you lit up. Upon your request, he showed you some of the drawings he’d made on his phone.

“Oh, these are wonderful!” you cooed, admiring them. “I used to draw when I was younger, nowhere near as well as you though.”

“Maybe we can sketch together.”

“I must be really rusty by now.” You let out a small laugh, handing his phone back to him. “Unless you want to teach me?”

His eyes sparkled. “Of course.”

The conversation drifted to the best restaurants in the area before he told you he was SAS. He vaguely mentioned that he dealt with demolitions, and that he’d be gone for about two weeks. You seemed impressed by this, and he found it adorable how you kept rewording your questions, as if they were going to offend him. He reassured you you could ask anything and he’d tell you what he could.

At the end of the night, he walked you to your door, and you wished him all the best for his mission with the kindest smile. He promised himself he’d be back soon to see it again.

As Johnny drove to base the next morning, still buzzing from the night before, he kicked himself for forgetting to get your number amidst his excitement.

But maybe it was just as well he forgot.

Countless times he’d been described as a mutt by people on base – too eager and impatient. Gaz had told him he pushed women away with his unfiltered enthusiasm. It was a concept he’d never been able to completely grasp: why would you want people to not show you how much they liked you? He knew he preferred that over someone who played games.

But over the years, he’d been rejected and left hanging. Perhaps there was some truth to what Gaz said. Surely, he was willing to accommodate you as to not put you off. He could be patient and match your pace.

So the morning after he came back, he trimmed his stubble to a presentable length (unfortunately he couldn’t do his own hair so the mohawk was still overgrown). He told himself to not look like he missed you too much as he entered the gym. Alas, he couldn’t hide his excitement from the sheer occurrence of seeing you.

“You’re back!“ You grinned before your gaze dropped to his neck.

The tan lines from his throat mic must have looked apparent. It was a recurring problem.

“I am. Hi,” he said, searching your face. He’d missed you.

After a warm up, he picked up a pair of dumbbells.

Next to him, you smiled. “Looking big, Johnny!”

He paused. Was he, even in his oversized shirt? Oh, you were going to make him blush.

“Ye got plans today?” he asked between sets.

“Just need to do my weekly shopping.”

“My mates told me about this place. S’not too far, think you might like it. Also I can give ye a lift. I need to do some shopping myself.”

“Oh, that would be nice. Thanks so much!”

“I feel I should have got yer number so I didn’t hav to ambush you like this.” He shrugged, pulling out his phone.

You laughed, typing your number in. “Don’t worry about it. I got no plans,” you said as you handed it back.

After his shower, Johnny flexed in the mirror. While he was away, more often than not, he would lose weight. Perhaps you meant to say he had more muscle definition, but it didn’t matter. You noticed. You shouldn’t have given him that compliment because he’d spend days thinking about it with a toothy grin.

You emerged out of your flat wearing a shirt, leggings and canvas shoes while he wore a sweater with jeans and boots. Okay, maybe he was a touch overdressed for a quick lunch and a shopping trip, but you looked so sweet in your casual attire, he couldn’t help but smile.

“I watched some of the films you recommended. You have good taste,” you quipped over lunch.

He grinned. “I’ll be sure to recommend more.”

“And I drew again last week. A castle – a bit ambitious, I admit.” You chuckled.

“How did it turn out?”

“Could have been better, but I enjoyed the process. I think it’d be nice if we could draw something together, and maybe you can give me a few pointers.”

You didn’t have to ask twice. “I’m free this afternoon.”

After the trip to the supermarket, Johnny invited you to his place to sketch. Accompanied by tea and biscuits (something he never ran out of due to his chronic sweet-tooth), the event stretched into hours as you chatted and laughed. You were a good student - following diligently and learning fast, but if he was honest, you weren’t half as bad as you said you were in the first place.

As the sky darkened, you excused yourself back home for dinner. He could have offered to cook, but he decided otherwise as he didn’t want to come off too strong (mostly because he wasn’t ready yet to reveal that he lacked the skills to).

Johnny didn’t mean to, but ever since, he made sure to go to the gym the same time you’d be there. You kept each other accountable with your workouts, reminding each other of the agreed schedule. Not like he needed the prodding - getting to see you was all the motivation he needed, but anything for an excuse to talk to you, right? Besides, it was nice when you texted him, letting him know you were heading to the gym. If he let himself fantasise, it was as if you missed him.

You’d workout together two to three times a week. You’d tell him about your day and he’d listen with a grin because why did it feel so good just to be around you? You’d ask about his day in return, and he’d talk about his mates, mostly the silly stories so he could watch you light up with that melodious laughter.

On the days in between if he couldn’t physically wait to see you again, he’d borrow some milk or eggs. If you didn’t have any either- well, I think were due for our weekly run to the supermarket anyway. Don’t worry, he’d help you carry all your shopping like always. What use were his muscles if they weren’t to help you?

Sometimes when the mood struck, you’d sketch together on Saturday afternoon after shopping. It also became a ritual to take you to dinner before his deployments. He didn’t like to show it, but he still had nerves to be calmed even after many years in the job.

When he came back – he didn’t realise it at first, but he hung around at yours as long as you allowed him to stay. Before you, he preferred to lock himself in his flat when things were fresh. It was then he noticed that he’d been falling asleep thinking of you, especially when he was away – his much needed tranquillity in the chaos. He found himself doodling you in his down time.

However, as well as things were going, it didn’t seem like they were progressing. Working out, shopping and the occasional takeout from down the street in hoodies and sweatpants seemed to be the most he could get.

Of course Johnny adored any minute he had with you, even if it was doing mundane activities. There was something weirdly intimate in seeing the everyday you, that you didn’t need anything grand to enjoy each other’s company. It made him warm and fuzzy inside, but he wanted more. You were more than a gym buddy, or someone who lived in his building. He didn’t want to imagine things with you – he wanted them to be real.

Was he not good enough for you? Was he not your type? Did he annoy you with his excuses to see you? He just wanted to feel useful.

“I can drive ye t’yer friend’s later,” he said as he helped to rerack your weights.

“I can’t let you do that.”

“I don’t mind. Will be on my way out fer lunch anyway.”

Later when you answered your door in a pretty dress, he tried to not gape. He’d never seen you dressed up as you were usually in your oversized shirt and leggings when you worked out, or anything comfortable for the shopping trips and humble meals. Still, in any state, you couldn’t get any cuter in his eyes.

When he pulled up at your friend’s, he turned to you. “Let me know if you want me to pick you up, and maybe we can grab dinner after? There’s a place I’ve been meaning to try nearby.”

“I appreciate it, really. But I don’t want to bother you, Johnny. You’ve been way too nice!”

“Is no bother. Got nothing to do today.”

It was his go-to excuse. Innocent, open-ended, welcoming. It served him well - you were always so grateful for any help from him.

He grinned when you nodded. He needed to show you off, especially when you were so cute that day. Later, you thanked him again for picking you up and insisted you pay for dinner, which he agreed to.

While the restaurant had lovely décor and beautiful, warm lighting, it was crowded that Saturday night which meant the service was slow. It didn’t matter though if he could sit there and watch you smile. Oh, you were so sweet in your outfit, your glossy lips pink and soft. If he asked nicely, would you let him hold your hand?

A voice calling for you interrupted his daydreams. You looked up at the figure approaching before a grin broke out on your face.

“Bella! Hi,” you squealed and jumped out your seat to giver her a hug.

He knew Bella. You’ve mentioned her over the months, one of your cousins. You were going to catch a film with her next week.

“What a lovely dress.” She gave you a once over, rubbing your arms before turning to him with a friendly smile. “And who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Johnny, my friend.”

He tried to hide his eye twitch as he forced a smile.

“Ah, nice to meet you.“ She clasped her hands in front of her. “Right, just wanted to say hi. We’re still on next week, yeah?”

“Yes, of course. See you soon!”

She wrapped an arm around you for another squeeze before heading back to her group of friends a few tables over.

With a giggle, you said something about Bella living nearby, but Johnny barely heard it. The fleeting exchange sent a twinge of irritation to his chest.

Friend? If he was fair, he shouldn’t have expected anything other than the generic introduction. Things had been respectful and platonic so far, which he was fine with, so why would you describe him as anything other than a mere friend?

Okay, so you took things slow, perhaps you were even a little oblivious. It was fine - it really was! It was just he wasn’t used to any of this. Much like fireworks, the crushes he’d had were usually explosive with him charging on and ending as fast as they started.

Not you though. You lingered, hiding and burrowing in the nooks and crannies of his chest like an infection. Not like he wanted you to leave, he wished you never would. Whatever this was, he’d been enjoying it, even if it was just the simple act of doing chores with you every Saturday. In fact, it was the highlight of his week. You had grown to be more than a muse, a constant company in his lonesomeness.

Sergeant John Mactavish, a sniper and demolitions expert, had an abundance of patience - usually. He thought he could play along, but perhaps he wasn’t as patient as he thought he was.

When the bill came, he swiftly sent the waiter away with a wad of cash.

“Johnny, you said you’d let me pay!”

“We’re friends. It doesn’t matter who pays,” he said, shoving his wallet back in his pocket. It was immature, but the sarcasm couldn’t help but bleed through.

He didn’t miss the way your gaze dropped. He walked you to your door, but you didn’t say much the rest of the night.

Johnny’s infuriation hadn’t dissipated by Monday morning. If any, it had thickened and hardened and stuck to his teeth.

He couldn’t believe it. Did you earnestly not realise how foul the F word you used was?

He headed to the gym on base the first chance he got – his sanctuary. The frustration that crawled under his skin was the infamous forbidden pre-workout.

“Gaz,” Johnny called as he laid on the bench, in position for a bench press. “Can ye give me a spot, mate?”

Kyle made his way over with an amused smile, standing over him by the heavily loaded bar. “Going for a PR, eh?”

“Aye,” he grunted, gripping the bar, his thumbs tucked back.

“Oi, oi! The fuck you doing, mate!” He smacked his hand.

“Need to feel something,” he said as he repositioned his grip, before puffing his chest up for the set.

Kyle pushed the bar down, preventing his teammate from lifting it off. “Not from the bar crushing your fucking windpipe though, is it?”

Johnny’s arms flailed to his sides. He sighed as he stared blandly at the ceiling. “I think my heart is broken.”

He grimaced. “Did you get dumped? I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

“Ah don’t think… she even sees me as a man.”

“Friendzoned then, innit?”

Johnny had never been friendzoned, because no such thing existed. The term was for cowards who couldn’t take rejections, and he was no chicken. A no was a no, and he never took it to heart.

“Ye know I hate that word.”

“No, no! It’s a good thing. It means there’s still hope.”

His blue eyes sparkled, the first since the dinner. “Wait, really?”

He nodded. “You just need to be clear with your intentions. Be physical, flirt, give her compliments.”

“I thought I’d been doing all that! Also, wasn’t it you who told me I was always too eager?”

“Sometimes when you’re too polite, birds think you’re just being friendly.” He shrugged. “You might need to be a bit bolder to get the point across.”

Was this his green light? He’d waited forever to finally wear his heart on his sleeve.

“If that doesn’t work either, then what’s left is to just be honest. But if she’s not interested, you have to be ready to walk away.”

Poor Kyle – his words fell on deaf ears. With the silly grin on his face, the Scot had stopped listening as he fantasised about shamelessly flirting with you. Oh, he was going to have a mighty good time.

Masterlist Possessive best friend Soap

@tiredmetalenthusiast @sofasoap @astraluminaaa

[theshiftingwitch]

Get over your bullshit

It's a new year, and most —if not all— of you have already made your lists and vision boards and scripts and decided that 2025 is YOUR year.

You are finally going to have it all.

You are going to see all of your dreams come true right before your eyes.

But how long will it take before you start wavering again? How long will this resolve dissolve into thin air? How long will it take before you go back to letting the 3D tell you how to live?

Let's face it, the 3D is not your enemy.

The only thing standing in your way is YOU.

EVERYTHING you see around you is a direct result of your assumptions. Every thought, every action, every move, every step is ruled by your assumptions, your programming.

You don't know how deep it can go. You might think that that obscure incident from your childhood didn't affect you at all, the whole time it created a limiting belief that is making your subconscious mind its own personal bitch.

And it will continue to do so because you refuse to do the work.

You refuse to get out of your own way! You are firmly rooted into that godforsaken comfort zone that you stubbornly refuse to make the simplest of efforts to change your life.

You throw a temper tantrum every time things don't go your way, cursing the universe for not giving you your desires and screaming into the abyss about how the law is fake and manifestation doesn't work and blah blah fucking blah.

Give it a rest.

No one is going to give you your manifestations. There is no higher power up there withholding your desires from you because they're petty and chaotic. There is no divine timing or lessons to be learned or a specific transit that needs to hit your 5th house before you get what you want.

You're the one withholding your own desires from yourself because you can't get yourself to make even the smallest of efforts and control your thoughts!

Seriously, would it kill you to think in your favor?

Is it so hard to believe in yourself?

Everything you think is not working out for you is simply your own bullshit excuses.

Some people are out here saturating their minds for hours, saying 10k affirmations, visualizing every night, dismantling their limiting beliefs and doing their shadow work to get what they want. And they always get what they want! Without a fail.

Yes, manifesting is instant. But you've been programed to believe it's hocus pocus your entire life. You found the law days or months or years ago, and that's spec of dust compared to the time you've been on this Earth, saturating your subconscious mind with limiting crap that did nothing but take away your own power.

Stop making excuses. Stop justifying why you're giving up or why you can't manifest or saturate or decide. Stop explaining why your self concept is shit and start improving it instead.

At the end of the day, you are the one giving YOU your desires. And it can take a few days, or it can take a decade.

You decide.

Everything is a result of your decisions.

PS: this is not a tough love post as I don't believe love is tough or cruel or mean. You can do whatever you want. This is not disregarding mental illness either, it is a clear disadvantage, but it's not an insurmountable block. You can and will manifest despite mental illness, you just have to persist.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[dobadoo]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ YANDERE WANDERER ꒱ ˎˊ˗ soft yan wanderer ꒰ UPDATE !꒱

ow oow..he love u too much !!

✧ warnings — fem !! reader, soft yanderer wanderer,, light mention of NSFW, slightly coercive attitude, Unhealthy relationships <3 . ✧ a/n — ..this character is so complicated..(that's why I love him lol) So there might be some discrepancy with canon. I translated from my native language to English, so there will be some mistakes.. tell me if you see any//

✧ How did he realize his feelings? How quickly did it happen?

You first crossed paths on the Street in Sumeru. Daydreaming, you accidentally bumped into the Wanderer. Automatically apologizing, you smiled slightly and walked on. You didn't see the face of the man who had the misfortune of crossing your path. But he remembered yours.

At another time, the Wanderer would have called out to the absent-minded passerby and expressed his displeasure at his inattention, but this time, for some reason, he didn't feel the desire to ruin someone's mood. Following his gaze as you disappeared around the corner, he was surprised to feel something strange, half-forgotten inside himself…

"No, I'm not going to get involved in this," - the former Number Six of the Fatui Harbingers shook his head decisively.

Yes, he decided to live like a human. But that doesn't mean he wants to go through the same pain as before. Perhaps the Wanderer would have forgotten this meeting over time… even the gods do not know the answer to this question. Or, on the contrary, they decided to remind him what it is like to love?..

The second time he saw you was at a doll-making workshop. You were not from Sumeru and decided to bring home such an interesting souvenir, and he just wanted to make a doll similar to the one he once had. The workshop lasted for several days. You did not even look in the Wanderer's direction, all the time thinking about something of your own, but he did not take his eyes off you. On the third day, the Wanderer began to get angry not only at himself, for making the same mistakes as he once did, becoming attached to a mortal man, but also at you, for not noticing him.

Although, unlike the other people he once loved, you did not give him anything, but for some reason your opinion of him seemed important to him. On the fourth day, the Wanderer could not stand such inattention to his person and began to cough loudly and demonstratively. You looked up at him in confusion:

Be healthy, - you said politely and again looked away from the young man. The Archons see that if the Wanderer were not a puppet, he would choke on this!.. On what?.. Even on the same air!..

For the first time, he saw that someone did not care about him so much. Especially someone he deigned to be interested in. The fifth day was the last day of the master class. Realizing that if he did not do anything now, it would never work out, the Wanderer approached and casually asked:

"Hmm… what is your name?" - You said your name.

"And yours?.."

"Wanderer."

"I see. Excuse me, I need to go." - You turned around to leave the place where the master class was being held. The young man who approached you, apparently to get acquainted, was very handsome in appearance: thick blue-black hair, indigo eyes, delicate features… it was hard to imagine a man as beautiful as Wanderer. But something about him repulsed you… perhaps his manner of speech?..

"Where are you going? hmh.I hope your majesty, you don't mind if I go with you..It wasn't a question."

"I don't need you." - you sighed, I looked at him questioningly.

"What, really?.. Just look at yourself. Thin arms, no weapon. Where are you going to stick your nose in?.."

"In any case, it's none of your business, and it's better to go alone than with a boor like you!.."

"Am I boor? I'm just telling the truth, and if someone doesn't like listening, that's their problem."

"You're right, of course, but if I don't like listening, no one can make me believe otherwise."

"I see."

Wanderer chuckled. His interest in you grew even stronger. The former "balladeer" didn't understand what it was about you that he liked so much, both the first time and now. The first time you didn't talk, so it wasn't the so-called "intelligence." Beauty?.. yes, you're quite nice, but he's seen many prettier ones. The human world is full of mysteries.

The old Scaramouche wouldn't have looked for answers to all these questions. Did he like you?.. great. If you don't want to follow him yourself, he'll kidnap you. He's the Harbinger, who has subordinates and a million ways to keep you locked up. But that's not the case now. It's not even that he's no longer a member of Fatui, it's just that he's become different. He decided that he wanted to absolve himself of all his sins, but how could he do that if he kidnapped someone, even if, one might say, out of scientific interest?.. he needs to think of something else. Maybe he would tell Nahida about it, or, if she was busy, the Traveler.

After listening attentively to Wanderer, the goddess of Wisdom gave him a book.

"All about etiquette: a complete set of rules for social and business communication,"

"Is she kidding? ahh"

He read the book and found out that it was customary to address strangers as "you." It turned out that it was not very nice to start an acquaintance with rudeness even with a simple person, and even more so if you liked him… but it couldn't be that you rejected him, Wanderer, just because he was a little abrupt!..

✧ How jealous is he? How will he deal with his rivals?

He really doesn't like it when you care about someone more than him. However, the smart Wanderer will never arrange a massacre just like that. Although, is it necessary his given inclinations?.. Yes, he can knock a person down so much that it seems better to hit him a couple of times… In Sumeru, they talk about you as a strange couple: a dreamer with thoughts as light as the wind, and an angry kitten, ready to sink his little teeth into the throat of anyone who dares to look at her.

However, Wanderer may seem like a harmless kitten only to a person who has never encountered him. And soon it will become clear to everyone that the "kitten" is not as weak as he seems. Wanderer sharp tongue will quickly do its job. Your admirers will not dare to approach you. At least in his presence.

If someone bothers you too much, Wanderer despite having decided to start a new life, will go to extremes. Oh no, he won't kill that person. He'll just gouge out their eyes. If this guy doesn't understand that it's not nice to look at other people's loved ones, he'll have to show him that. Well, at least this way he'll never make the same mistake again!

✧ Would he kidnap you?

The old Scara, as mentioned above, would kidnap you without a second thought. But now he knows he can't do that. Maybe if your relationship lasts long enough for him to feel he has the right to control you, he'll restrict you a little: make you quit your job and stay home, demand that you come home by nine o'clock and not talk to people he doesn't like.

But if you kindly remind him that you're not his thing, he'll have no choice but to roll his indigo eyes and accept that you're not going to do his bidding.

✧ What are his rules?

First of all, you must not love anyone but him, just as he loves no one but you. That's the most important thing. He also wants you to accompany him wherever he goes - that's the only way he can be sure that you won't cheat on him. He's generally very fanatical about you being faithful to him as a lover should be. Wanderer knows himself well: if he's betrayed again, he won't be able to return to atone for his sins.

✧ What does his behavior look like?

Everyone has a friend or acquaintance who likes to say nasty things, grumble, say that he will never help an idiot like you, and then help in a way that even the most polite and courteous people will not help. So. This friend is Wanderer

He can scold you a hundred times for allowing yourself to be deceived, but you will be sure that your offender will not get off with a light fright.

He can declare a thousand times that he doesn’t care about people, they have too many useless functions that only get in the way in life, but you will always find your favorite food at home. He can tell you a million times that you're a complete idiot, but if someone else says it… oh, man, are you completely tired of living?.. Wanderer believes that he is in a special position and has the right to tell you whatever he wants, but he will react extremely aggressively if someone else thinks the same.

✧ Affection?

As for showing affection… well, he…

Actually, it's touching. Yes, touching. It's not always nice, but touching. It can be a little rough, but it's not intentionally rough, he would NEVER hurt you. You hear me? Never.

Damn it. He'll pick you flowers in Gandharva while he's quietly cursing under his breath about how childish it is, he'll braid your hair or squeeze your hand roughly to make sure you're with him, next to him, and you won't go anywhere. That kind of connection is incredibly intimate, if you think about it. It's a connection on a very deep level, it's love. So everything he does, whether it's nice or not for you, is an expression of love.

He's always with you, even when you don't notice. In the Sumeru bazaar, in the rainforest, or somewhere in the academy, you always sneak a glimpse of that kasa hat.

✧ What kind of punishment does he use?

If you are too brazen and respond to his caustic remarks with aggression (in general, act like a brat), then he will ignore it for a long time, and believe me, he is very good at it. (but he still gave in after 5 minutes)

Oh.. So you are one of those very.. "sweet" lovers? then why don't you cuddle with him together, just you, him and your cozy bed! The wanderer, of course, was not born yesterday and has a full understanding of human.. Desires. No matter how much the Wanderer hates human sins, you remain his weakness. The Wanderer knows, and has even seen how people succumb to the embrace of lust, and if you are his sweet lover, why don't you do it together?

so that he (will make) you lie with him in the evening, in a cozy bed or in some secluded place in the forest of Avidya, and kiss you passionately, with love, until you knock and beat his back from lack of air

Oh.. So if you are one of those very "mean" lovers, oh you wretch! you deserve punishment.. So, you'll have to sleep next to him and kiss your puppet for a long time before going to bed… If you don't agree to that either, the Wanderer will decide to gently caress you a little from below.. And you won't be able to avoid that!!

✧ What happens if you get sick?

Wanderer will tell you a lot of things while you're sick. For example, that only an idiot could go out without a hat, knowing that it would rain, and you is quite sick and can easily catch something. And also that the human body is very weak in principle, so you shouldn't have gone anywhere at all, just like he said… but at the same time he will surround you with pillows, feed you with a spoon, buy you sweets and make you tea.

One day, when he will be adjusting the blanket at night, you will wake up and, in your sleep, say that such behavior makes him human…

✧ How much does he need your love?

Initially, Wanderer didn't want to experience feelings that usually hurt people, but when he admitted that he was in love, he realized that there was no point in being afraid anymore. Everything that could happen has already happened, and nothing can be done about it.

And since he loves you, it would be desirable for you to love him too. And if Wanderer can't open the door to your heart, he will try to achieve at least a tolerant attitude towards himself. However, this will never be enough for him. He wants his feelings to be reciprocated.

✧ Views on family

Family… such a forgotten and alien word for him. The wanderer used to have a family 500 years ago, but he doesn't want to remember it, and he won't dare tell you about it, he doesn't want to scare you off.. About children, girl, do you really think that a puppet can impregnate you? It's funny. But if you really get close, Wanderer will treat you like a family member. In order not to offend you, over time he will moderate his ardor and become less harsh in his judgments.

But if you don't need him, and you are simply forced to be near him… he will treat you not as a thing, no. If you put a thing, it stands there. And you, more like a pet. You tell him: don't climb there, and he climbs. You tell him: don't eat this, and he eats. You tell him: don't bother this person, and he bothers. Usually, of course, a pet is perceived as part of the family, but it is unknown whether Wanderer will put so highly someone whom he considers so inferior to himself.

✧ What kind of pet-names does he use?

Well…he doesn't like to use pet-names like "sweety pie" or "my bunny", etc. (only sarcastically, and rarely).. Even the puppet like him gets sick of it. But the Wanderer often uses poetic nicknames towards you. He can compare you to characters from books or heroes of famous paintings.

And you have a surprisingly large number of such "second names": each time he calls you differently, depending on the situation and your behavior. For example, if you are a night owl and don't like to sleep at night, he calls you "Selena" in honor of the moon goddess, if you prefer airy, light-colored clothes, he can compare you to an angel, and so on.

The Wanderer is very protective of you, because he considers you the only person who can accept him as he is. And, you can be sure, he will do everything to not lose you.. Not after what he went through..

"But you are not angry, are you, my Persephone?.."

@crimsoncandy04 @anantaru @hitomisuzuya @lavandulawrites @himasgod @neuvigroove @quimichi @rsventhesecondd @anemoswirlsmyheart @nil4everheartz @kujiba @genshingorlsrevengeance @shyentsfoundherink @lavandulawrites @ashyashylee @hitomisuzuya

[why-am-i-so-bad-at-being-good]

The narrative Grian drives in his episodes is actually INSANE because he frequently makes himself appear guilty and a team killer as rightly said but I'm willing to die on the hill that Grian is nothing but loyal till given reason to be otherwise. (Personal opinion, ofc)

Third life doesn't even need any explanation for this. There was no option other than for him to kill Scar or to die. Grian might be loyal, but he isn't the type to give up the win either.

Last life had Grian kill Mumbo and Jimmy but yep, both tried killing him, Jimmy punching Grian onto a primed trapdoor (if I remember correctly) and Mumbo trying to blow up Grian using an end crystal. They were red names, so as Grian always said, all previous alliances were void to him, so killing them didn't feel like an act of disloyalty.

Now double life is such a delicious series fr. You see Grian cheating on Scar with BigB, a clear act of disloyalty. But Scar isn't absolutely innocent either. All through the series, prior to Grian giving BigB the cookies, Scar was never onboard the ideas of them being soulmates, outrightly asking if it was necessary for them to base together, never listening to Grian even when repeatedly told. Basically, Scar never spoke Grian's language, and Grian decided that he needed a better ally who would be more useful than Scar. And who better to ally with than the player who gave Grian steak while Scar was taking huge chunks of damage?

As for Grian killing BigB... After BigB turns red, Grian is unsure of their alliance, which is further confirmed when BigB asks for things from Grian and Grian has to accept it to ensure that he isn't killed by BigB instead. (Also Grian technically wasn't expecting to get a kill from the dripstone which was evident from his exclamation and he hadn't taken into account that BigB would die if Ren was killed but that's another story)

Limited life had Grian pair up with Jimmy and Joel. Other than the accidental button push and the ladder incident, Grian had no direct hand in killing his teammates. None of the previous kills were acts out of malicious intent, and he even offered Joel to kill him AFTER Joel had already killed him once for time. And only after both of them died did he change alliances and become a nosy neighbor.

Secret life Grian was mostly alone till he found Etho and Cleo, and he was most definitely loyal to them till the end. He fought alongside Cleo, devising the Nether Portal escape, making the TNT trap and making it a manual one to ensure that the trap actually worked, while putting himself in danger's way. What a madlad. That's loyalty right there.

Wild life had Grian pair up with Mumbo and Skizz, and my god, from Mumbo's pov Grian looked like the shadiest teammate ever, running off whenever he got the chance. But in fact it was the absolute opposite. Grian helped in securing the enchanter, setting up the tnt trap for skizz which killed him and Mumbo, making the tower to help his friends get kills, sometimes using insider knowledge to help them too.

He also allies with Scar, giving him the mace in exchange for allyship (something which he didn't have to do, but he did because he hates dirty kills) and actually followed through it till the end.

When Mumbo dies, his grief is immeasurable. He extends the water below the tower, improves the tnt trap on the tower. None of this is enough however to keep Skizz alive and he falls to his death. Here, Grian immediately turns to Martyn to ask if he would ally with him, and this was just a funny bit between them (which Grian later addresses and apologizes to Skizz for, lol)

And finally, Grian's alliance with Gem and Joel was rock solid. It was the whole server against them, and Grian helped Joel with his teleporting powers (Joel didn't need help but Grian didn't know that lmao) and even helped eliminate some of Joel's foes. In the final fight between the two, it's the same as Third life. Grian wasn't going to go down without a fight, so he absolutely tried to win. (He isn't Scott, after all.) But before that, he was loyal to the end.

All in all, TLDR is that Grian is a loyal teammate who simply takes on the blame for a lot of things very silently and very easily and does not retaliate because he himself absolutely believes that he is guilty of it when he's mostly not. (Unreliable narrator fr)

Thinking about how Grian is seen as the prime example of a "team killer" and "traitor" in the series.

Grian kills Scar in a 1v1 and it's the beginning of a pattern of 'disloyalty' (didn't scar kill pearl in much the same way seasons later?)

Grian kills Mumbo and Jimmy and it's a betrayal (they weren't even allies at this point, of course, and those two repeatedly tried to trap him first)

Grian kills BigB as collateral in a trap against Ren without thinking about it (of course, players have certainly killed allies more directly. the season before featured multiple full on betrayals from desperate boogeymen.)

Grian's allies both die, and it's his fault for not giving them more time (what is it etho said before killing his ally directly for time? "i wish you were better at the game"?)

Grian's allies die, and it's his fault, for having a bad plan, or for mis-stepping, or for not being there (him and everyone else, maybe)

Mumbo walks right into a bomb, Skizz stands exposed on a ledge for twenty minutes, it's Grian's fault for building the tower they died in (etho shoots scott. tango kills bdubs.)

Every season Grian "causes" the ultimate death of his team, or at least, he's said to. And every season other players do the same. Do worse. But Grian is still disloyal, flighty, dangerous. A traitor. A team killer. Not just to the fans, but often to himself as well. That's fascinating to me.

[margeoww]

Toto Wolff with wife reader. Him being menace in the paddock and their son, Jack just shaking his head at his dad's antics. Clearly fed up. Then teamed up with his mama against his papa. While everyone is just entertained by it. . You decide how it goes. Thanks!! :))

Wolff in the Paddock

back to my masterlist

pairing: toto wolff x wife!reader (feat. Jack)

summary: toto wolff’s antics in the paddock reach new levels when his son, Jack, teams up with you to play pranks on him. The result? Chaos, laughter, and a reminder that even the boss isn’t safe from his family’s mischief.

warnings: fluff !!

The paddock was alive with its usual buzz, a hum of engines, chatter, and flashing cameras. In the midst of it all, Toto Wolff was striding around like he owned the place—well, technically, part of it. His deep voice carried over the noise as he barked orders, waved at cameras, and threw the occasional wink in your direction.

Jack, your seven-year-old son, walked by your side, a miniature replica of his father in looks but already wise enough to shake his head at Toto’s antics.

—Why is he like this? —Jack muttered, shooting his dad a skeptical look as Toto dramatically gestured at the Mercedes garage while explaining some technical detail to an engineer.

You smirked. —Your dad’s always like this in the paddock. You know that.

Jack sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in a move that was far too adult for his age. —It’s embarrassing. Does he have to be so… extra?

Before you could respond, Toto turned toward the two of you, his face lighting up like a kid spotting his favorite toy.

—Ah, meine Liebe! —he called out, striding over. —And my little man! Have you come to watch me dominate the paddock?

Jack rolled his eyes so hard you thought they might get stuck.

The chaos started not long after.

Toto decided it would be funny to challenge Jack to a pit stop drill. The mechanics, clearly amused, set up a miniature tire-changing station just for Jack.

—I’ll go easy on you. —Toto said, crouching next to his son and ruffling his hair.

—Don’t patronize me. —Jack shot back, glaring at him.

The crew laughed as Toto, utterly unfazed, leaned in closer. —Oh? Big words for a little guy. Let’s see if you can back them up.

Jack looked up at you, exasperated. —Mama, are you going to let him talk to me like that?

You crossed your arms, fighting a smile. —I don’t know, Jack. He seems pretty confident. Are you going to let him win?

Jack’s eyes narrowed. —No way.

The drill commenced, with Jack fumbling adorably with the small tools while Toto exaggerated every movement of his own performance, hamming it up for the audience that had gathered.

When Toto inevitably “won,” he stood up, arms raised like he’d just won a Grand Prix. —And that, my son, is how you dominate a pit stop!

Jack groaned and turned to you. —Mama, we have to do something about him.

It didn’t take long for you and Jack to hatch a plan.

When Toto wasn’t looking, Jack snuck into the hospitality area and swapped his father’s usual black coffee for decaf. Meanwhile, you coordinated with a few team members to have Toto’s chair replaced with one that squeaked every time he moved.

The results were immediate.

Toto took a sip of his coffee, paused, and frowned. —What is this? It tastes… weak.

Jack shrugged innocently. —Maybe you’re just not as strong as you think you are, Papa.

Toto narrowed his eyes but didn’t respond, distracted by the squeaking of his chair as he sat down for a meeting. He shifted once. Squeak. Twice. Squeak.

By the fifth squeak, Toto’s face was a picture of annoyance, while Jack could barely contain his laughter.

You leaned against the wall, casually sipping your drink. —Is everything okay, dear?

Toto shot you a suspicious look. —Did you two…

—Us? —you interrupted, feigning innocence. —Why would we do anything?

Jack grinned. —Yeah, Papa. Why would we?

By midday, the entire paddock was in on the joke. Mechanics chuckled as they watched Toto glance warily at his coffee cup, and drivers smirked as they passed him squeaking his way through meetings.

At one point, Lewis Hamilton walked by and patted Jack on the shoulder. —Nice work, kid. Keep him on his toes.

Toto eventually cornered the two of you in the hospitality area.

—You’ve turned the paddock against me. —he accused, though his lips twitched with suppressed laughter.

Jack crossed his arms, mirroring his father’s stance. —Maybe next time you’ll think twice before embarrassing me in public.

Toto glanced at you. —And you? Are you part of this rebellion?

—Of course. —you said, leaning up to kiss his cheek. —It’s called teamwork. You should try it sometime.

By the end of the day, Toto was back to his usual self, though he couldn’t resist pulling Jack into a bear hug, despite the boy’s protests.

—You might win today. —Toto said, ruffling Jack’s hair again. —but remember, I’m still the boss.

Jack smirked. —For now.

As the three of you walked back to the car, the paddock still buzzing with laughter from the day’s antics, Toto slipped an arm around your waist.

—I suppose I should be grateful. —he said. —You two make life interesting.

You smiled. —Just returning the favor.

Jack groaned. —Please stop being sappy. You’re embarrassing me again.

And with that, the Wolff family left the paddock, leaving behind a trail of laughter and a reminder that even in the high-stakes world of F1, family came first.

[little-miss-fandom-freak]

This isn't a request or anything I just had a funny thought but like, imagine if the Justice League finally got evidence that Y/N is innocent, and they tried to visit but Phosphorus is just. Booing and throwing trash at the League members. Y/N may join in also. Bonding time 🩷

Okay I know I need to be working on my other asks but I LOVE THIS

Dr. Phosphorus X Former Hero!Reader Pt 2.

Little note: I did want this to end on a happier note and I found it hard to be mad at Superman lol

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

You didn't understand why Superman and Batman were here in Belle Reve. You had assumed it was for some meeting with Waller until one of the guards approached you and your team.

"C'mon," She said as she lifted your shoulder, "you got visitors."

You looked around, completely confused. "Visitors? Who would be visiting me?" The guard didn't respond as she pulled you away from the table and put your hands in cuffs. He tried to shrug them off, determined to stay with you. You gave him a stern look, one that said 'don't do anything that will get you in trouble'. He sighed as he took a step back, letting the guards take you out to the courtyard.

You were shocked to find out that your former teammates were the visitors. You tried to dig your heels into the concrete, causing the gurads to struggle as they dragged you to them. "I have nothing to say to you two!" You yelled from across the courtyard.

They gave each other a look before Superman took a step forward. "Lose the cuffs, guys. She's won't do anything."

The guards looked to Waller for confirmation. She nodded, giving them permission to take the tight handcuffs off. You rubbed your wrist as the two approached you. "Leave me alone, Superman." You said with spite

"Look..." He started, clearly trying to find the right words to say. "I know there's no taking back everything that's happened these past few years, but I hope you understand why we did it."

"You mean how the whole team left me to rot in a cell, not even showing up for my trials!" You yelled.

"We wanted to, but it wasn't a good time. For any of it. You have to believe us." He pleaded.

"Why should I? It's not like you believed a word I said!" You sighed as you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to calm yourself. "I hope you two didn't come all the way out here just to apologize and think I'll forgive you, cause there's no way in hell-"

"The court has decided to give you bail." Batman said, stopping you mid rant.

You couldn't believe what you were hearing right now. "Give me bail? Why?"

"While you were locked up, things changed. New laws were made, old ones were fixed, and your lawyer found new evidence to support your case. If you choose to go to trail and plead not guilty, there's a chance you'll make bail. And I would be happy to pay it, if you promise to return to the Justice League."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Back in the rec room, Phosphorus was standing on top of one of the tables that he had pushed against the wall, trying to get a view of what was going on outside. Nina and Bride had joined him; for Nina it was out of concern, for Bride it was simply because she was bored.

"What are they saying?" He mumbled, his grip on the bars tightening as he tried to listen.

"It has to be something about her case." Said Bride. "With how long she's been in here, and not a single visit before, there must've been a change."

Phosphorus didn't know how to take that. Was there more that you didn't tell him? Were more years added to your sentence? Are you getting transferred? Or worse, did they find you innocent?

The Bride side glanced at Phosphorus, a knowing smirk graced her lips. "You know, you're really bad at pretending you're not the "jealous boyfriend" type."

His head whipped around in her direction, his flames rose but she couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment.

"I-I just- you- just-just shut up!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You thought for a moment, you weren't quite sure how to respond. "If I come back, I want a few things."

Batman scoffed. "Do you really think you're in the position to be negotiating?"

"I'll have you know, prison life hasn't been all that bad for me." You said with sass as your crossed your arms. "Once I got over the feeling of betrayal, I actually formed relationships with the inmates."

"Really?" Superman cringed at the thought. "But they're murderers-"

"At least they know loyalty."

"Barely." Batman shot back.

You gritted your teeth. "Task Force M has showed more loyalty to me than any if the Justuce League. I'm am perfectly fine with staying in here, you're the ones who want me back. So, do we have a deal?"

Batman glared at you before he made up his mind. "What do you want?"

You tense shoulders relaxed slightly. "My team, I want to be able to see them while I'm out. Not just visitation hours, I want them out of Belle Reve when I see them."

Superman and Batman looked at each other, before Batman looked to Waller. She shrugged. "Task Force M has been more well behaved than usual. If they can keep it up, I'm sure I can arrange something."

You nodded to Waller, silently thanking her for her cooperation. You turned back to the men in front of you. "Looks like I'm back."

A wide smile filled Suoerman's face. He rushed to you a scooped you up into a hug. "You have no idea how hard it was not to visut you, but we were under so much fire at the time. The governmentthought it would be safer if we temporarilydropped connections. "

You embraced the hug, realizing how much you actually missed your old team. Suddenly, you heard muffled yelling coming from across the courtyard. Looking to your left, you saw Phosphorus yelling something you couldn't hear but Superman could.

"Um, why is the glowing skeleton yelling at me to get my hands off of you?" He asked, clearly concerned.

You chuckled. "We have a lot of catching up to do."

Suddenly, several peices of trash came flying your way. Well, not exactly flying. They hit the ground several feet away from the three of you, but the action was enough to make the guards inside tackle your partner.

With a sigh, you removed yourself from the hug. "We should head back in."

As Waller and the guards led you all back inside, Batman came up beside you.

"Phosphorus? Really?"

You smiled slightly as you shrugged. "What can I say, he's got charm."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, it's called radiation. I don't think he's good for you-"

"Don't go all dad-mode on me Bats, we're still the same age remember?"

He scoffed. "And yet you're the one making juvenile dating choices."

"Uh huh, and how's it going with Selena?" You said with a shit-eating grin. He was quiet for a few moments.

"Fair point." He said, causing you to let out a laugh. As much as you hated them, and how long it will be before eyour relationships are repaired, you couldn't deny that you missed moments like this.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I hope you enjoyed this and if you have anything you would like me to personally respond to, message me or put it in my ask box because as of right now, Tumblr won't let me respond to comments :)

[gatheringbones]

[“Instead of presuming trans femininity’s coherence in advance and then using history to certify it, this book examines where and when trans femininity became a fault line in broader histories, including the repressive practices of colonial government, the regulation of sex work, the policing of urban space, and the line between the formal and informal economy. In this way, the method of this book is deceptively simple: it uses the history of trans misogyny to understand where trans-feminized people were lit up by the clutches of violence and how they responded to its aggressions. In doing so, we learn what makes trans misogyny unique and get a glimpse at how wildly diverse people around the world have come to find themselves implicated in trans femininity and trans womanhood, whether or not they wanted to be.

For these reasons, I maintain a difference between trans femininity and trans womanhood or trans women. The first is meant to signal a broad classification by outside observers, including aesthetic criteria and the history of ideas attached to people who have been trans-feminized. Trans womanhood and women, on the other hand, name people who saw themselves as intentionally belonging to a shared category—in other words, who tried to live in the world recognized as women, whatever that category meant to them contextually. Everyone in this book may have been trans-feminized, and all may have been brought into the orbit of trans femininity, but only some considered themselves to be trans women in response. These careful, empirical distinctions remind that trans misogyny has had the effect of pulling huge swaths of people into relation with one another, like Black trans women in New York City and kathoeys in Bangkok, who but for the accidents of history may never have seen each other as having anything in common. It does not weaken the category of trans femininity, or the political project of trans feminism, to examine trans women alongside hijras, street queens, transvestites, and Two-Spirit people, even if few to none of the latter would identify as trans women. On the contrary, it reveals just how narrow the Western definition of woman has been, since many groups of people reject it as a colonial limitation, even when it arrives in a trans idiom.

Some of the fault lines this book explores remain sources of major friction to this day. Is trans femininity best understood in relation to womanhood, or does its history suggest that gay men’s culture is its better reference? Much would seem to be at stake in the answer, for if trans women are women, period, as the adage goes today, why does so much of their history involve gay men? From late-nineteenth-century sexology’s concept of “the invert” to present-day fights over whether trans women belong in drag, the mixing of gender and sexual frameworks has long produced anxiety directed at trans femininity. Rather than pretend that deciding in one direction or the other is desirable, let alone possible, A Short History of Trans Misogyny emphasizes how gender and sexuality, or what is gay and what is trans feminine, have generally been blurred for most people. This book explores what kind of womanhood trans women acquire by doing sex work and considers the street queens of the mid-twentieth century who answered to the word gay precisely because their trans femininity had made them the queens of something called “the gay world.” Gay men turned to them to reflect on the electrifying promise—or horrifying possibility—of falling down the proverbial rabbit hole from effeminacy into outright femininity. Street queens appear all over the gay male cultural canon because their proximity to gay men represented the threat and freedom of “going all the way.”

Trans women and trans femininity, from this book’s perspective, aren’t so definitively excluded or erased as they are degraded and punished by those who lust after them in anger, fascination, and affection. Though I bracket trans-femininized people from other kinds of trans people—namely, trans men—this book has no separatist impulse. It doesn’t argue that trans women or trans femininity must be taken up in isolation to do them justice, or that trans misogyny is the responsibility of any single group, including men. Nor does it subscribe to the simplistic notion that some kinds of people are inherently affected by trans misogyny while others are cleanly exempt from it. A Short History of Trans Misogyny stresses that gender categories are intensely social, even if they are arranged in hierarchies. Trans femininity, just like non-trans womanhood or male heterosexuality, doesn’t come into the world on an island. Each one of us emerges as individuals to know ourselves only through our entangled relationships to those who are not like us—which is, strictly speaking, everyone. Indeed, the root fear common to trans-misogynist women, gay men, straight men, nonbinary people, or even certain trans women comes from needing the trans femininity of others as a foil for their place in the world.

Gender as a system coerces and maintains radical interdependence, regardless of anyone’s identity or politics. Trans misogyny is one particularly harsh reaction to the obligations of that system—obligations guaranteed by state as much as by civil society. The more viciously or evangelically any trans misogynist delivers invectives against the immoral, impolitic, or dangerous trans women in the world, the more they admit that their gender and sexual identities depend on trans femininity in a crucial way for existence.

Understanding this primary interdependence between gender and sexual positions in the hegemonic Western system, this book pairs trans-feminized subjects in each chapter with people whose relationships to them are disavowed in misogyny. By telling stories through their enmeshment, this book refuses to pretend that trans-feminized people are alone, isolated, and suffering because they need rescue. This book refuses to pretend there is only one form that trans womanhood and trans femininity take, or that the Western model of gender identity and bourgeois individualism, with its simplistic understanding of oppression, is all that useful except as a tool of discipline and domination. And though it cannot tabulate every relevant entry in what would be an impossibly long list, this book insists on holding everyone accountable for the degradation of trans femininity. The collective power of trans-feminized people, including trans women, lies in how many others rely on us to secure their claim to personhood.

In other words, the dolls hold all the receipts, and the time has come to call them in.”]

jules gill-peterson, from a short history of trans misogyny, 2024

[ghostf1ux]

Shock Therapy

Day 12: Shaking

Word Count: 3.8k

TW/CWs: Electrocution, non-con touching/biting/kissing (referenced, not shown), medical inaccuracies (probably)

Part 1 (here) || Part 2

-------------------------------------------------------

Jason groaned as his body was tossed unceremoniously onto damp concrete floors. His teeth sank further into the gag that had been shoved haphazardly into his mouth, muffling a string of curses aimed at his captors. Some of them only laugh at his attempt to take stock of his surroundings despite the blindfold and his lack of usable fingers to pry it off.

Not for lack of trying.

Okay, so, assessment of the situation. There are at least four guys in the room with him, heavily muscled but potentially not heavily armed. Pistols, most likely, if he had to judge just by the amount of noises they made while moving him. Metal shackles around his wrists with a chain attached and sharp little pronged spikes on the inside to keep him from struggling too much, he can already feel the welts and scratches made by them, and soon he thinks they'll start drawing blood. Blindfold means they don't want him seeing them, which means they can be tracked. Gag is because Jason managed to bite a chunk of flesh out of someone that resulted in his face getting a nice, warm spray that made something inside him sing. His thoughts and movements are still a little fuzzy and weighted, courtesy of whatever drug they used to knock him out with. Him waking up sooner than expected is what prompted his ability to start running his mouth, so to speak. 

As fall as injuries go, he mentally catalogues general scattered bruising from the rest of his patrol and the uncaring moving of his body throughout the kidnapping process, as well as a broken left foot and ankle from his attempts to actually fight back. Because of this, they decided his feet didn't need to be tied together once he was thrown in here.

It's almost insulting, but with the current situation, he can't actually find it in himself to be insulted.

The metal shackles cuffed way too tight around his wrists are tugged upwards by a connected chain, a snarl of protest blocked by the gag. Instead, he throws his good leg out in the direction of whoever had decided it was safe to stand above him, relishing in the sharp crack and shriek of pain following it.

“Oh you little bitch!” One of the men roars before there's an angry shuffling of footsteps and–

Jason curls back in on himself instinctively as the blunt object slams down on his midsection, biting down hard on the gag to prevent any noises from coming out. He won't give them the satisfaction. Not from the first hit to his ribs, or the second to his uninjured leg, or the third to his shoulder.

He sneers up at them as best he can from behind the gag, grinning. If that's all these chumps have, he'll be fine. They're not even using a crowbar, they're using a boring old baseball bat. Not even creative.

“Boss isn't gonna be here for a bit,” one of them proposes to the others, the sound of dragging wood across the cement following it, along with a couple slaps against what Jason would wager is a leather-gloved hand. “He said we had to get him here in one piece, but he never said we couldn't have some fun of our own while we waited.”

Jason can almost hear the evil grins spreading across their faces, and decides that curling up further is probably the best course of action right now. 

That doesn't stop him from tensing, bracing at the approaching, circling footsteps.

He grits his teeth at every blunt blow of a weapon, not letting out a sound even when he can feel his bones grinding and splintering under each hit. His eyes squeeze shut in some attempt to block out the pain, because even if he's experienced far worse than this, at least it's not a crowbar and at least there's none of the trademarked insane, maniacal laughter from the fucking clown.

He can survive this, if this is all they've got.

He can survive this.

Jason flinches violently into a curl impossibly tighter when one of them lightly kicks his shattered foot.

He can survive this. He just needs the Bats to figure out his location. Either that, or find an opportunity to escape. 

The latter is looking like more of a distant idea than actual possibility with every bat or kick to his battered body.

Then, with the creaking of a door, the mounting pain stops, along with the mantra Jason had been reciting mentally. Shoes click against the floor, but not like heels, not sharp enough, like dress shoes. He's intimately familiar with that sound due to Bruce. Weight tells him it's a person lighter than the ones circled around him. The shuffling of fabric is familiar enough of a sound to not be anything but expensive.

“I presume you've had your fun?” An accented voice asks, clipped with… disappointment, maybe? Jason furrows his brow at the question, jaw grinding against the gag.

“Uh– yes boss,” one of the nameless men answers quickly. There's a click of a tongue.

“Jacket, shirt, shoes, gag. I want them gone. Dispose of them along with the rest of his gear,” the accented man orders. “I want to hear him sing.” 

So this is the boss. Something about him sounds vaguely familiar, but Jason can't put his finger on it. He doesn't have the time to figure it out before his limbs are being yanked around and the remainder of his gear, the only thing keeping him even relatively safe, is cut off and discarded like trash.

That shit's expensive, damn it.

The gag is removed before his shoes are, and something tells Jason that was on purpose because it takes everything in him not to scream when they roughly jostle his broken foot in an attempt to get his boots off. They succeed eventually, but not without Jason jerking away at the slightest movement and biting his cheek and tongue so hard they bleed. It's only the paper-thin thread of self restraint that stops anything but a groan from being audible.

By the time they're finally done, Jason's teeth are watering uncomfortably, but he swallows down the bile that threatens to spill at his pain. His vision is white and blurry, even with the blindfold.

I can survive this. I've had far worse.

He's panting and cold-sweating profusely when those shoes click to a stop next to him and the man crouches down, grabbing Jason's jaw and tilting his face with an appraising hum. Sparks dance across his skin, making him prickle uncomfortably and he tries to yank himself out of the contact, only for the fingers to dig further into his skin in a bruising grip. The tingling under his skin sends an almost-pleasant warmth through his body, if it weren't for the fact that it rubs his nerves the wrong way. Something niggles the back of his mind, but his thoughts are too hazy to get a solid grasp of what it is.

“You're just as stubborn as they say, Hood,” the man praises. Something dark settles in his gut. “It'll make it all that much more fun to break you down, and build you back up. Doesn't that sound fun to you?”

Jason spits a glob of blood and saliva at the man. “Fuck you,” he snarls, finally tearing himself out of the man's grasp. It's then he notices how fucking cold it is in the room. He shivers, failing to suppress the wince at the way it aggravates his grinding bones.

The man just chuckles lowly, rising to stand up. A moment later the shackles around his wrists are being tugged up up up– dragging Jason up with it. The most he allows to escape is stuttered breaths and a few short, silent gasps when weight is put on his bad leg. It hurts like a motherfucker, but Jason doesn't let him know as much, instead grinning a bloody grin down at him once the machine lifting him settles. Because even with how he's hanging from his wrists and standing on his foot (the other one he keeps lifted gingerly away from the ground in some meaningless effort to keep it from hurting further), he can tell he still has a height and weight advantage on whoever the fuck this guy is.

Of course, that advantage is lost due to his restraints and general state his body is in.

“Mm, what a pretty bird you are,” the man croons, trailing a finger across Jason's jaw. With the position he's in, with his head trapped between his arms, he can't do much, but he takes the opportunity to lurch forward with snapping teeth.

Fangs clack shut over empty air, a disappointment to Jason. Seemingly unconcerned, the finger traces over the artery along his neck, and then the whole hand closes over his throat. The other rests over his sternum, that same fleeting warmth emanating from the touch.

“Or perhaps ‘mutt’ would be a title better suited for you.” He squeezes, nails gouging into the sensitive thinner skin of his throat and Jason can feel warm blood streaming down his frame, he can the way his breath becomes blocked, and it's strange because Jason knows from firsthand experience that choking someone one handed is a lot hard than you think it is but he's clearly got the strength to do it and the warm tingling under his skin where the hand is touching him is getting hotter and sharper and–

A scream is trapped between his jaws as his body convulses and then locks, his legs jolting out from under him at the sudden shock of fiery electricity coursing through his muscles. His nerves are alight and his throat is constricting, his lungs have stuttered and are struggling to try to get oxygen to the rest of him. Muscle spasms send his pain receptors into overdrive, and it's too much, he can't fucking do anything except feel pain, he can't breathe, I can't breathe–

It disappears. Jason forces himself to heave in a breath even with how his ribs protest to it. His head hangs briefly while he regains his bearings, slowly getting his uninjured foot back under him so all his weight isn't on his shoulders and wrists. Each subtle shift makes him wince, and he fully flinches with each shiver that wracks his body. The new layer of freezing sweat and streams of blood only serve to make the cold worse, and he fucking hates how he can see what this guy is trying to do to him.

“You handled that well, mutt,” that accented voice praises after about thirty seconds of letting Jason recover. It comes from behind him now, but he doesn't bother turning his head to pay any obvious attention to it. That is, until there are hands on his waist that radiate that tingling warmth, stopping the shivers from agitating his injuries further. He growls, low in his throat, far more animalistically than any human has any right to sound. Thumbs trace the lines between Jason's muscles and across the scars littering his body without a care in the world.

He snarls venomously. “Get your fucking hands off me.”

“I'm sure you'll be begging for them soon enough,” an easy reply murmurs, and Jason can hear the nasty fucking grin in his voice as they grip harder, enough to bruise, to bleed, and it's just enough warning for him to brace himself for the next wave of–

He can't help the guttural shriek that rips itself from his mouth, legs spasming before his body drops sharply onto his wrists. His throat constricts, gurgled screams still trying to escape him. The hands, the fingers, the nails stay embedded in his skin as they drag– scratch– gouge lines up towards his ribs, around his front, right over his diaphragm and if he could even get a hint of a breath before he definitely can't now– not with the way his ribs creak, the way his muscles contract, the way his back tries to arch and bend and twist away from the cause of his pain, the way his body practically locks in a never-ending existence of drowning in the constant agony–

The warmth is swept away by a near-blinding chill that wracks his body with shivers so bad he nearly doubles over again just as he had regained his footing, but only just. Tears spring freely from his eyes at the next bout of shaking, a sob trapped in his throat and it hurts, everything fucking hurts–

“Say the magic word, and this'll go away,” the man's voice lilts and when the fuck did he get so far away? When did he end up in front of Jason, drumming his fingers against a shitty metal chair? When did he start hearing the soft clinking of metal against metal, a chain being fiddled with?

When was there a quiet, dangerous buzzing from somewhere vaguely above him?

He doesn't have the time to get his thoughts together enough to prepare himself for the rolling wave of stabbing, burning pain so hot it's cold starting in his wrists and spreading down his shoulders, enveloping his chest, through his thrashing legs and curled toes– he can't– he needs to move, to get away, but all he can do is jerk involuntarily and hear something crack and something tear and something break–

And then it stops, and Jason practically goes limp, his breaths coming in heaving, panting, wet gasps that make his ribs grind in protest but he needs oxygen, he needs air and it's right there, it's surrounding him, he's practically downing in it but it doesn't matter because he still can't breathe.

“We have all the time in the world, yknow,” that voice mentions. “I'd be dismayed if this is how we spent it.”

Jason tries to make his mouth and throat work the way he wants them to, tell the guy he can fuck right off because he is nowhere even close to the line that marks when he starts begging for anything, especially something that would just hurt him more in the end. But all that comes out is a wet, raspy growl in dissent. Something wet and painfully cold trickles down his arms.

“Your choice, mutt.”

------------------------

It's…how long is it? It could've been twenty minutes or two hours when the first whimper escapes him. He's almost constantly shivering now, when he's not being overwhelmed with crackling pain that rips through his insides and makes spots dance across his extremely limited vision.

The shocks are frequent and long, each one feels like hours even if Jason logically knows they can't be more than fifteen minutes at the longest.

Unfortunately, logic isn't something he has access to right now.

------------------------

It's an even shorter amount of time when his thoughts finally finish drifting away and all that's left is pain and hurt and cold and he whines– he fucking whines when the man who's been circling him like a shark– so close but never touching, his warmth just barely out of reach– pulls away. He can't stop it, he can't even try. Not when he's been hanging here for hours that feel like days, not when there hasn't been a single sound aside from his own sobs and keens and rivers of blood cascading down his body drip drip dripping onto the floor into an ever growing puddle and that fucking asshole's perfectly poised honeyed words slipping in his ear in the times between vague awareness and overwhelming agony.

So when his head is lifted just enough for a warm hand to pet through his sweat-soaked hair he lets it, just this once. He lets the other rest on the small of his back, digging into his skin until he bleeds and it's okay because then that warmth, that tingling bounce of mini shocks travels under his skin and eases through the rest of his body and somehow he manages to slump even further. He slumps into the man holding him here, expensive silk and some shitty floral scent taking over his senses and for a moment– for a moment it's just so nice. He can just forget, for a moment, but only for a moment. For a moment, forget about the excruciating pain of his bones cracking under his skin, forget about the cold, the blood, the–

His mouth flies open in a silent scream when that sparkling warmth flares into a blazing inferno and it has his burning, aching muscles spasming to life when they just want to rest, he just wants to rest–

------------------------

I'm so tired… please, anyone–

------------------------

I– I can't– it's too much, it's too fucking much–

------------------------

“Look at you, mutt, already breaking so well for me,” that voice purrs along the shell of Jason's ear, running his hand gently, softly, delicately up and down Jason's side, over burned in handmarks, smeared blood, and distinctly cracked ribs that make every labored breath rattle through his chest. His heartbeat is fast and erratic in his ears, nearly as loud as the persistent ringing that's accompanied him for so long.

How long has it been now?

Something in his gut twists at the blank space filling the answer to that question.

Too long, maybe. A while. Does– Does anyone know I'm here? Are they even looking for me?

They're whispers of feelings rather than full thoughts. His mind, fractured in some attempt to maintain some sanity for later once he's out– if I get out– 

That honeyed voice, too sweet to do anything but set muffled alarm bells off in Jason's fog-clouded mind, coos against his raw, torn skin, right against his pulse where blood seeps steadily out from a past wound there. “Just divine. You'll be the perfect little pet mutt for me, won't you?”

A broken little whimper falls from limp lips as teeth tear the gouges on his neck open further, another cascade of blood rolling down Jason's chest. The man's grip on his hips turns hotter, brighter, bruising, and it's low, too far down, enough to send some layers of his fog away giving way to panic and fear and no that's not right I don't–

And then it's all washed away in layers upon layers upon layers upon fucking layers–

There's a crash Jason's body instinctively flinches at, even with his spasming body protesting and fighting against him at every turn. There's voices, multiple voices, and they're so loud, it hurts, he just wants to stop hurting, and suddenly his head it yanked back by his hair and a stuttered, broken cry escapes him but he can't even begin to be quiet, to understand what's happening, so he tries to close his mouth, maybe, but blood and saliva is dripping out of the corners regardless and he can't move, he can't think, he can't even fucking scream when the pain gets worse and somewhere, distantly, he feels like maybe he wants to die again. That would be better. Same way, too. The crowbar would be better than this everlasting torment that comes with every unwanted, gut twisting touch and caress and kiss and bite–

And maybe he'd prefer that horrible laughter instead of the sugar-dipped tooth-ache inducing litany of low words and promised peace if he just bends a little, just cracks a little, just breaks a little–

“–ood? Hood!” A voice fades in over the ringing, tinged with something akin to… worry? Or panic? Hm. They sound familiar. “Fuck, Nightwing, hold him– Wing! Hold him up, I need to get the shackles off.”

The first warmth leaves and Jason doesn't hold back a despaired keen, weakly trying to search for it despite the fact that he's long since lost the strength to even twitch his head in any direction.

Someone makes a wounded noise, footsteps rushing to shuffle towards him. Jason flinches when arms wrap around him, holding him to their chest. His breaths were already raspy, fluttering little things, but the additional pressure on his ribs makes him choke on a wet cough he doesn't have the fucking air for and it hurts so god damn bad, he just wants to not hurt anymore, please–

“Shh, shh, I've got you, we've got you, little wing, it's okay, you're gonna be okay, you're safe now,” a new man whispers into his hair, voice hushed and strained with something Jason can't really identify, but he sounds familiar, so familiar, and the name rattles around in his head like he should know who it refers to–

“Little wing, it's time to go!”

“Cmon little wing, I'll catch you if you fall, I've done this before!”

A flash of blue, and a blinding smile to light up a room. The familiar scent of a particular laundry detergent, the man's favorite cologne, and kevlar.

“Take it, Jason. You've earned it. I'm passing on the mantle of Robin to you, little wing.”

Jason tucks his face in the crook of Dick's neck, trying not to be overcome with sobs. A gloved hand runs smoothly over the back of Jason's head, through his short hair and threading through his curls, smoothing the fringe off his forehead. Dark words are muttered somewhere behind him, swears, threats, plans, who's–?

His first wrist is unlocked and gently lowered to his side, but that doesn't stop the sharp, cut off gasp that escapes him, or how he goes entirely, bonelessly limp in Dick's arms.

It forces him to use both hands to support his weight, but it doesn't matter because he's here. They came for him. That's all he needs.

The next wrist slips loose from its shackle just as it's unlocked, sharp stabs of pain barreling through his arm straight to his chest and he flinches, jerks, spasms for just a moment before his quiet, panting breaths are the only movement his body makes. He's moved, and then laid down on someone's lap, head cushioned on both sides by bent legs.

“Hey, hey, open your eyes, Jay. Come on, stay with me here,” the voice from before is pleading now, voice higher in both pitch and volume. Jason furrows– or tries to furrow– his brow in confusion, because didn't he…?

With effort– too much fucking effort, he's so tired, he's exhausted, he just wants to go home– he manages to peer blearily up through tear-clumped lashes at the vague forms above him.

The first one, closer to him, domino lenses blown wide with worry is Dick. The stark blue against toned skin gives him away immediately. He smiles down at Jason, and it's a strained, worried thing but it's there nonetheless.

Off to Jason's other side is a red and black form, glancing at him with more properly disguised worry between wrapping something around his wrists. He seems to soften when Jason meets his gaze though, nodding to himself. Or maybe to Jason. Then turns back to his work.

Jason's eyes drift shut again, head lolling listlessly to the side, pressing closer to Dick. He briefly feels him tense, and maybe he starts panicking, but Jason just can't bring himself to care. He's with his brothers. They'll get him out. They have him. They came for him.

[inu1gf]

you won’t be able to take your eyes off me

characters: gen narumi & soshiro hoshina (separately)

sypnosis: combination of two songs (miniskirt by aoa and give it to me by sistar)

a/n: my first fic so any constructive feedback would be much appreciated!! sorry if they seem a bit too ooc i tired staying in character as much as i could without going too flowery and corny >_< hope you like it and if you have any requests, send them in! and ty to soshiros bbygirl for beta reading;*

never did you think you could capture his attention, the difference not only in rank but raw power they held compared to you should’ve deterred you away but when the attention was reciprocated, you didn’t want it to end. dancing around each other, tiptoeing around the line not knowing if you should push the boundary, to see where this could lead.

as time goes along and seeing no change in this dancing routine that was set between you two, it started to weigh on your heart. does he just want to someone to occupy his time with? is he just doing it to mess with you? to waste your time? to have fun and see what he could do without crossing the clear line between you two. you can’t have that. that would just mean what you thought was a genuine connection, he thought it was a game. you weren’t just gonna stand by, wait for him to come back, and have the cycle repeat again.

out of sight. out of mind.

now what was just a slight peek between the curtains between the two of you, were just closed and locked windows. he wasn’t gonna be able to see that side of you no more. not a moment longer were you going to think of him anymore.

it took a while and you had to show that you were no longer occupied, you finally landed a date. you honestly didn’t think of it as anything serious. just a a little toe dip into the dating pool once again. even though you were ready for a new thing, you literally just got out of a one sided situationship so diving in head first on the first date wasn’t really a smart idea.

going through the process of aligning schedules, making plans, and deciding on the time, and with a little bit of help with outfit planning and a bit of confidence boosting, you were ready for a night out. now you just had to report to your higher ranking officer to give additional notice that you were spending your off day off base.

even if you weren’t on duty or in uniform, it felt a bit weird to not straighten out your clothes and posture before needing to make your presence known.

knock knock knock

“state your name.”

“it’s officer (y/n) reporting.”

“come on in.”

when you opened the door should’ve had a feeling that he’d be in the room…

expecting to see vice captain hasegawa at his desk, you were not sure why the two-toned-haired idiot you were trying to avoid was seated in a place like it was his office. then again you weren't all that surprised when seeing a stack of files on both sides with vice captain hasegawa standing behind him keeping watch.

upon entering both turned your direction to you, different expressions but it was all the same to you since you decided he was just captain narumi to you now and not gen (is what you told yourself but your heart felt like it was going to jump out your chest and land right in front of him for him to sign his name right on it).

“sorry to interrupt captain narumi and vice captain hasegawa. just wanted to report that i will be heading off base, can’t give a specific time but i will be back and i will be present for morning training.” in salute position trying to maintain being fixated on the wall behind both men, you couldn’t trust yourself to not have your expression change if you made eye contact nor could you stop your thoughts from crushing the confidence pep talk that kikoru and rin gave before leaving your room.

what you didn’t notice was the look over gen gave you when you stepped through the threshold nor could you have noticed the fast-paced heartbeat and heated ears that donned him once he saw how breathtaking you looked. having only seen you in either your regular civies or defense uniform, it would’ve made him beamed with pride had the change in clothing style been for him, but seeing as you haven’t even spared him a glance in a matter of weeks, he was happy to at least be in the same room with a good 6-foot distance separating you two.

as of late the only time, you would even allow yourself to be near him (at a wide distance but still being in the same room) is if it’s he finally decided to grace the first division with his presence and oversee training, or he’s dragged to a meeting and scuffed at the neck like a kitten by hasegawa. as if a switch flicked in your head, one day you couldn’t help but be next to him no matter the time or place, and now you couldn’t be in a room with him unless you had to.

he doesn’t even know why he is having such a hard time bringing up the situation or just speaking to you in general. this isn’t him. sure he can’t stand when his vice captain talks to him as if his title as captain of the first division doesn’t exist but with how you two danced around the line he didn’t know whether he should make his move or even how he should do it. like come on, holding his rank as both captain of the first division and japans strongest anti-kaiju combatant, and he doesn’t mean to brag (he totally does hope it wows you even more) most if not all, hold him in high regard and entrust the safety of the entire freaking country and defense force to him. this should at least boost his points with you. its not like you don’t know what he can’t do having been on the battlefield together. his speed and durability. his strength and endurance. his skilled martial arts mastery and intellect. never been one to shy away from flaunting his abilities that clearly sets him ranks above the rest (okay big head we get it you’re the best at what you do), it should show that what he can do and has to offer can push you more to him. so why is it that you are trying to pull away from him?

“…captain. captain narumi? CAPTAIN NARUMI?” finally registering that it was you who was calling him back off of whatever cloud he seemed to have found himself on since you came in, he looks at both you and hasegawa in confusion.

“yes, do you need something from me?” trying to make himself look like he wasn’t just spiraling into a hole of turmoil trying to see what could he have possibly done to have you in front of him dressed up so attractively appealing for someone.

“nothing sir. just wanted to wish you both a great night. hopefully, my intrusion didn’t slow down your progress on your work. i’ll get out of your hair and be on my way out.” with a quick salute, you leave straight away not wanting to waste anytime to get to your date (you may not truly like the guy but it’s not like you’re so cold-hearted to just leave him standing after all the planning that went into this date even if you don’t feel like going out now).

with your uver estimated time being 5 minutes away, you tried to speed walk as fast as you could to the entrance doors while simultaneously trying to keep the miniskirt kikoru slipped you in from riding even further up than you could handle. now just hearing the clacking of the high heels, you couldn’t focus on the sounds around you, trying to make it to the exit as fast as possible. nothing could have prepared you for the sudden pull on your arm into the quiet and empty hallway, would anything have prepared you for the sharp deep red eyes that you have been trying to avoid looking at for weeks.

“so what the first time in ages that you speak to me and you can’t even look at me and ‘captain’ or ‘sir’? haven’t heard you call me that since you first arrived. what happened to just narumi? what happened to gen? what’s with the sudden name change? sudden change in everything as a matter of fact? what happened? just tell me what went wrong!” a frenzy of questions snowballed right at you giving you no time even react to the first one. you couldn’t even look away from him when his presence and energy was just demanding your full focus and attention on nothing and no one but him.

“i can’t do this right with you, captain. my ride is going to be here in less than 4 minutes. as of a few minutes ago, i’m not on duty to have my off time disrupted. if that was all you had to say, please let me go. i have a date i can’t miss.”

date. (what?!)

a date. (where?!)

you’re dressed nice and pretty for a date. (why?!)

you’re dressed up nice and pretty because you’re going to a date. (when was this decided?!)

you’re dressed up nice and pretty because you’re going to a date thats not with him. (with who?!)

as he spiraled down his flurry of emotions that seemed to show on his face and eyes even with his mop of hair practically covering a good portion of his face, you were able to bear witness to each one. one right after the other tugging at your heart. making your brain go into its state of unraveling on the tight knot it held on your feelings for him begin to rise its way back out. you just couldn’t hold back on what you had been holding onto.

“please captain just please let me go. please don’t hold onto me anymore. please stop practically taking all my attention. please just stop giving me hope in whatever you lead me to believe this even is.” from the tight hold his eyes held onto yours to trying to focus on the high ceilings to blink away at the tears that threatened to fall and make a mess at what took hours of your support team working on to make sure that even if you were suited up in your usual uniform, you’d be able to battle anything that came your way. yet you seem to be losing the one you started one-sidedly.

“you want me to let you go after you walk in, looking smoking hot by the way, and finally talking to me after weeks of no response from you, only to find out you are going out on a date with some random who probably doesn’t know you as well as i do? i don’t care if i have to throw you in my office and break the handle to keep you in there, you will not be leaving my side. especially for some date with someone that’s not me. when did this even happen? how did this even happen? i’m pretty sure i’ve been dishing out more duties to you just to keep you occupied until you finally had enough to just come to yell at me about it.” he’s been dumping workloads on you on purpose? “anyways you’re not leaving. you are not leaving me. you understand that? now what’s this about ‘me giving you hope’? why would i stop? i thought what we had was something. im into you. you’re into me. why stop that? why try to go on a date another some other guy when that’s the step we’re supposed to be on? cancel that uver. they could be outside right now for all i give a crap. you’re sticking with me and we’re hashing this out. now.” not even letting you fight back, he starts to pull you into the familiar direction where his room is. one that you thought you would never be in again.

the closer you get, the more erratic the pounding in your chest, and the more your mind races having you think it was just the cycle repeating itself.

finally deciding to drop your weight in the opposite direction he was pulling you to (didn’t really do much in all honesty) does he decide to finally look at you again, seeing you in the heart-wrenched state he put you in. “i’m dressed for a date not a situationship lecture from the one who i was in a situationship with. so unless you’ve decided to actually take my feelings for you seriously then i won’t be going in there.”

“give me 30 minutes. i’ll take you on the best date you’ll ever have. by the time it’s over, you’ll never think about being on anyone’s side but mine.”

you didn’t even realize you were standing outside his door, until he faced forward opening his room, having you sit on his throne as he gathered his clothes and such, making the light bulb in your head come to light as you realize that you’re going on a date with gen. not the poor guy who has now been waiting for a response to his texts for the past 15 minutes.

wc: 1.8k

it shouldn’t have surprised you that he’d be here with captain ashiro, it really didn’t phase you as much as you thought it did. not wanting to show how it affected you, you fixated your gaze onto captain ashiro herself, but it was like he was invading your sight everywhere you went. with his back towards you not even wanting to acknowledge your presence, the clenching around your heart was a dull ache, but it was nothing new. you’ve already steeled your nerves when you decided that if he wasn’t going to do anything with what you thought was something good between you then you weren’t gonna waste your time.

“sorry to disturb you, captain ashiro and vice captain hoshina. the officers advised me to give notice just in case so i wanted to report that i would be off base for a few hours.” you didn’t know if it was because you were standing under an air vent or just your nerves running rampant, but it was just making the chills drive up your legs that not even the stockings covering your legs could provide a small ounce of warmth.

“it’s just us here so you don’t have to call me captain. you look pretty by the way. where you going?” it wasn’t known to most of the division that you and ashiro were friends. after a run in at the convenience store for some dried shredded squid where you both reach for the last one in stock, it sparked a quiet friendship between you two, and leading to you both meeting a few times cooking dishes for her, where you would use the shredded squid, after finding out she can’t really use a kitchen knife to save her life.

having heard his captain compliment someone out loud, soshiro doesn’t fully turn to you but just half way so he can see you in his general peripheral vision, and what his captain said was no lie at all.

now standing in a common hand-on-hip pose just seeming more slightly relaxed, he starts his trail at your black red bottom high heels that make the sheer black stockings that hug your legs in a way that has him weak in the knees, having to hold onto the desk he was starting to lean on, paired with a miniskirt and blouse that accentuated the lovely curves he can’t help but fantasize about when he’s alone with nothing but himself and his thoughts.

what pulled him out of his current position was your response.

“just a date with someone from the operations department.”

just a date.

just a date.

JUST A DATE.

“what the fuck.” who said that? did he say that? he didn’t mean to say it out loud, but as quick as he said it he masked his surprise, in case it slipped off him, and adjusted himself since he started to feel two sets of eyes on him. he could feel them burning on his side.

“this section on the report is wrong. i’ll go check it out to see how to fix it. I’ll leave yall to it.” giving this the only time to be able to turn himself facing to you, he got to see you in your full glory. you look as beautiful as you always do everytime he sees you.

Just as he gets ready to salute his captain, you salute back to him and start to head towards the door before him.

“I’ll let you know how it goes, shiro!” with a little wave to both captains, you rush out the doors and zip through the halls making it in time outside as your uver driver arrives.

if the drive didn’t feel like it had gotten you to your destination too fast, then it was the date that felt like it went painstakingly slow. all they did was talk about themselves, how they had done this and that, and how if they were given the chance, they would’ve done this better than hoshina. hoshina. how you honestly wished it had been him here, instead of the self absorbed person who’s done nothing but waste about 3 hours of your time.

you would’ve left halfway through but if it wasn’t for the gnawing ache in your heart of having to accept that even if you try to be with someone who wasn’t him, you wouldn’t have been able to open your heart to them the way you bore your heart open to him.

it seemed like you didn’t have to sit and suffer in silence any longer because it seemed like even thought they couldn’t get enough of hearing the sound of their our voice, they hated that you didn’t egg them on to continue their endless stream of compliments they wanted to shower themselves in. just slapping a few bills on the table, they left without so much as a glance to you, but you weren’t going to complain about it either. sure it was possibly the worst date you’ve ever been on, but at least you can finally get yourself out of this outfit. sure it was the best thing you’ve wore out since joining the force, but to have it wasted on a date as horrible them, all you could do is hope that whoever decided to take you out next will be worth the amount of effort you put in dressing yourself for.

who were you kidding? as if you’d ever subject yourself to another one like that ever again. sure they may not all be self absorbed and do nothing but waste your time, but at least after each date it wouldn’t have you feeling guilty for wasting theirs as well because no matter how many people you choose to be with, they’ll never be able to occupy the empty space in your heart that he decided to make his place in.

making your way back to base was easy enough if it wasn’t for man himself standing next to the entrance doors.

“well wasn’t that quick. what’d they do? stand you up?” as if that was the greatest joke he ever heard, he couldn’t help but do that cute laugh that he does, clutching at his sides while little by little slightly bending at the knees.

“ ha ha ha! laugh it up. and for your information, he didn’t stand me up. we had a nice time.” lie. “, and he treated me to that restaurant i’ve been wanting to go to.” half lie. “i see the promise of a second date in our near future. so laugh it up while you can. save it for someone who can’t get a date. wait a minute… isn’t that ‘someone’ you?” thinking that should have at least stunned him, you started to make your way past him, but what you didn’t count on was the sudden grip and spin you got in return now having to face the man himself. eyes open and fixated on yours. unmoving. it was a test checking to see who would make the first move…

but you’ve had enough with games.

enough with the side glances.

enough with second too long stares.

enough with the unmovable mocking grin he seemed to give anytime you were caught looking in his direction.

enough with the flirty inside jokes.

enough with the flushed face when he pays just a little more attention to you than he did with others.

enough with waiting.

enough of tail chasing you seemed to be doing just to get him to look at you the same way you look at him.

enough with just being strung along.

enough with him.

“if that’s the case then, why would you be with him and not me?” it seems like today was just full of surprises. there was no way those string of words came out of his mouth. however, if that question didn’t throw you in a loop then the second one did the trick.

“what can i do to make you stay with me?” you couldn’t even back away. with the tightening grip he had on you as if you were just going to sprint in the opposite direction if he were to weaken his hold on you and in no way would you have stayed as well.

did it really have to take him seeing you actually going on a date for him to finally make a move?—but again, if you wanted to hear anything on a already bad day after a bad date, then might as well have it done now.

“are you fucking serious right now?” you don’t care that you are about to get disciplinary action for what you just said to your superior, but who wouldn’t react that way when it was what you needed to hear a few weeks ago for the man himself. no longer were you just going to hide behind the little actions you’ve been doing to keep distance between you two. no not anymore, and if you had to hash it out in from of the division building then so be it. already too frustrated from the crap date and crap ride back just to be stopped by the problem itself only to be landed right back where you started, you just need the weight to be lifted off your chest so you can finally just breathe.

“what do you want? what is it to you that i went out on a date or that ill be going on more? who are you to tell me anything? if anything, you don’t get to dictate what i do outside of my duty to the squad. i’m pretty sure for someone who’s as intelligent as you then you should know how i feel about you and if you anything about me, you should know im not going to wait around anymore just for you to make a move so if you are done with whatever you have right now then just leave me alone” tone getting louder and louder, you don’t seem to notice how his hands went from your shoulders and gently sliding up to hold the sides of your face.

you only notice it when you feel a cold pressure on your lips and then seem to move on their own as they continue to lock with his. heart feeling fuller and your chest feeling lighter. you couldn’t help the tears that started to glide down your face and he couldn’t help himself when he felt them on the pads of his thumbs.

there was no stopping them. what had you agonizing for weeks came to a stop with just one kiss.

apologies coming from him just seemed to make the tear come in steady streams and when he saw that maybe they wouldn’t stop for a while, as if he was holding something so precious (in his case he was), you felt the bottom of your feet lift from the ground and he started to move. to where? you didn’t know. all you can see is the red tint on his ears and feel the tightening grip under your knees and shoulder.

it wasn’t until he adjusted his grip did you glance around to see where you were at.

vice captain hoshina soshiro

he was leading you into his office.

it wasn’t a new place to you. many times you’ve been in here. either waiting out the time as he completes his paperwork so he can give you some more pointers on your swordsmanship (you figured that if there was anyway to get closer to him, it was to learn the craft that he cherished deeply) or just to be in his presence as you helped him with whatever he needed from you (he always made up tasks just to have you around him just a minute longer).

you expected him to just sit you on one of the chairs he has in front of his desk. what you didn’t expect him to do was make his way around it and feel him sit down on his chair with you still in his arms. you didn’t expect him to adjust you so that sitting in his lap. you didn’t expect him to cradle you closer as if he was trying to meld you into him. you didn't expect the small featherlight kisses he lays on your face to get you to calm down.

there were many things you didn’t expect for him to do.

if only those were the only surprises he was going to lay on you, but nothing topped what he said next after resting his forehead onto yours.

“look i know it’ll take a lot to trust what i have to say and i don’t expect you to make it easy. if you can give me time, i promise ill be able to show you just how much you mean to me. i want to be able to make you see that i am yours. that i will always be yours. i hope that you can see just how much i want you to be mine.”

a/n: literally listened to miniskirt by aoa and give it to me by sistar while writing this.

[wheneclipsefalls]

Grovel - Part 4

Pairing: Adult Lo'ak x Fem Omatikaya Reader

Summary: How much more of this can you take?

Warnings: aged up characters, swearing, MDNI, sexual tension, lust, slight angst, mentions of death and blood, war trauma, past cheating, etc.

A/N: Honestly not super happy with how the sentences turned out but writing the actual content of this chapter was so much fun. I hope you enjoy:)

Grovel Masterlist

yawne: love/beloved

paskalin: honey (endearing)

kelku: home/hut

tiyawn: star/little star (endearing)

mawey: be calm

tewng: loincloth

The sun barely crested over the trees before you had set out of your kelku in search of the youngest Omatikaya prince. You had been afforded very little sleep even once in your own bed after spending the night with Lo’ak. Too many images of what had occurred in your drunken state last night had been painted in your mind and it had your stomach tied in knots. The worst part of this torture was the fact that you knew less about your drunken mishaps than anyone else.

 And Lo’ak….

Oh Lo’ak he didn’t even bother to fill you in on the details properly. 

So once you had tossed in your hammock for the thousandth time in the late morning you let out a groan, rushed to get ready for the day and went hunting for that smirking Sully. That lighting fire had only squandered for a moment when you looked over at the magical music device he had left with that note.

Although early in the morning, he was sure to be in the midst of some sort of morning Omatikaya politics or hunting party. You found him surrounded by a few males for an early breakfast around a fire. You were, however, surprised to find Neteyam already there and dressed. After his ‘activities’ with Talu last night you would have supposed he’d require further rest. 

Instead, it was him that nudged Lo’ak’s arm as you came into view, tilting his head in your direction to point you out. Blood still rushing at your ears and tail swatting back and forth like a whip, you stared the prince down.

“You.” One deadly point at him and then the next at the ground in front of you. Almost as if calling an animal to heel. The venom in your voice was enough to have the other males letting out teasing jeers and shoving at him.

Although swatting back at the other males for their jests and comments, Lo’ak’s expression remained soft and calm as he approached you obediently.

“Good morning, yawne.” 

Rolling onto the balls of your feet you peeked up over his right shoulder back at the group near the fire. Far too close for comfort. You’d suffered enough embarrassment already without another nosy party there to witness. So in one move you snatched his wrist and pulled the towering male deeper into the forest. 

Although surprised, Lo’ak didn’t lag behind for long. He allowed himself to be dragged until you’d chosen a suitable private location to lay into him. 

“Why do I get the feeling I’m in trouble?” The corner of his lips turned up even as he ticked his head to the side and observed your heated composure. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” You demanded, swatting at his arm. Lo’ak didn’t flinch. 

“You are going to have to be more specific than that, paskalin.”

“Decided to leave out some precious details last night, huh?” Your tail curved around your upper thigh, ears pointed and alert as you stared up at him. “You can quit this oblivious facade. Talu filled me in on everything.”

“Ah, I see.” He sighed, those dark brows raising as he rested his hands on his hips. “Well truthfully, yawne, I figured you wouldn’t want to talk about the kiss. I thought if you remembered you would insist on us pretending it never happened but if you want to dig into it then-”

“What?” You cut him off, eyes blown wide and heart already thumping at a new speed. “A kiss. Great Mother, what are you talking about?” You were certain this was just another game Lo’ak was playing with you but when your ire didn’t die down and his face dropped slightly, that theory began to look less promising. 

“Oh, so she didn’t tell you everything then.” His ears tucked back, but there was intrigue still dancing in his eyes. It always sparkled beneath those dark lashes when his attention landed on you. It gave the feeling of being put under those microscopes they used at the human outpost. The undeniable heat of his studying gaze. 

“I am not in the mood for jokes, Lo’ak.” You ground out. 

“Really? But you’ve been so pleasant this morning-”

“Shut up.” Hardly the comeback you were looking for but despite the sharp sting to your words, Lo’ak only struggled harder not to grin back at you. You were ready to tear his eyes out, or maybe your own depending on the validity of his claim, and yet all he could do was joke at a time like this. “You should have told me everything last night.” 

Lo’ak’s half grin slowly lowered into a thoughtful pout. You veered your attention away from those plump lips, afraid of the way your imagination was already piecing together what this supposed kiss would have looked like. 

“You’re right, yawne, as usual. I only thought you were already a bit embarrassed so I didn’t believe adding the kiss to the list would help matters.” 

“Embarrassed? What by the stars above do I have to be embarrassed of?” A lot. Oh so much that you had to spend half of your energy just pushing away the leering weight of thinking about what drunken acts you had gotten up to. 

“Nothing at all.” His hands raised in surrender before reaching back to take down his tied hair. “Attraction is a perfectly natural feeling and so is acting upon it.” Lo’ak casually drawled, skilled fingers now working to gather his hair into a low bun at the back of his head. 

“Attraction?!” It came out as almost a squawk, voice cracking in the midst. “Attraction to what? To you?”

Your tone did little to ruffle his feathers as he finished securing his hair and nodded calmly. “Like I said, natural.” 

“I am not attracted to you!” Heat rose beneath your skin, cheeks sure to already be inflamed into a deep blush. You prayed that Lo’ak would read that purplish hue as evidence of the rage you felt instead of this ‘embarrassment’ he claimed to know so much about. 

“I’m not asking you to admit it.” Those signature beads dangled as he casually leaned against the nearest tree. 

“Well good because there is nothing to admit.” You fired back, hands balling into fists. 

“Alright.” 

“Good.”

“Good.” He echoed back. Lo’ak pushed off the tree before striding past you. The perfect opportunity to escape and yet you couldn’t stop yourself from trailing after him.

“I’m being serious.” You insisted, frown deepening when you heard a deep chuckle emanate from his chest. 

“I wouldn’t expect otherwise from you, paskalin.” 

Your heated glare sought to burn a hole into the back of his head but keeping up with Lo’ak’s natural pace was a struggle that made your intimidation efforts that much less effective as one of his strides equaled about three of yours. It felt like hobbling after the taller male instead of the hunt you were aiming for. 

“But you don’t believe me.” 

Lo’ak twirled on his heel suddenly. Your skid to a stop was anything but graceful as you almost crashed straight into his chest. Four fingered hands went to steady you, but you pushed them away. However, with crossed arms you refused to retreat out of his space, determined to establish some sort of dominance in this conversation that has taken such a turn. 

“Why do you care so much if I believe you?” He mimicked your posture, crossed arms showing off the veins that traveled up that swirling blue skin into pronounced biceps. 

“Because…” You sputtered for some sort of reasonable explanation, but he had brought up a point. He was right, there was no logical reason for you to care about his opinion. So what if he had a big head about it, most days you just wanted him to leave you alone. “Because you’re wrong.” 

“Am I?”

“Yes!”

“Last night you told me I smelled good seven different times.” A lump formed in your throat, eyes desperately wanting to look anywhere else but him. 

“And you counted it.” You shot back, fighting the urge to shift your weight from foot to foot. 

“You’re right I did.” Came his immediate reply and somehow his instant acceptance of your accusation was that much more infuriating. “But that’s the difference between me and you, paskalin.”

He took one stride forward, but it was enough to close the last piece of distance between you two. “I’m not afraid to admit that I want you. Neither am I afraid to admit that I enjoyed the way you played with my hair. I savored every moment that you willingly sat there on my lap and when you suddenly leaned in to seal the night with a kiss, I couldn’t stop myself from kissing back.” Lo’ak didn’t touch you, he knew better than that, but with his shadow falling over your smaller form and purred words dripping from his lips it may as well have been as strong as skin up skin. 

“And yet you have the nerve to say you didn’t take advantage of me.”

“It was one kiss. I pulled away the second you did. And when your sister said it was time to turn in for the night I had every intention of walking you home myself and leaving you alone. But you had other plans. And yawne, I’m trying my best to behave for you but I’m also a male. A male that can barely breathe when I’m around your sweet scent so when the woman of my dreams is clinging to my arm and sweetly asking to stay in my kelku where she feels more safe, I tuck her into my hammock without complaint.” 

Every muscle in your body seemed to lock up, accurately aware of the last few inches between your chest and his stomach. Even more so strung up by the shameless confession falling from those perfect lips. 

“Is that the truth you were looking for?” He asked, one brow arching. 

A long pause hung between you before your motor functions returned back online. “I never said I want you.”

“Your scent does the talking for you.” 

Your right hand balled up into a fist again, almost tempted to deliver a right hand hook that ironically Lo’ak himself had taught you as children, but then you felt the dampness between your legs. You were appalled to find that even in your anger, your body had fallen prey to the weight of his words and presence. Even Lo’ak’s own essence that now surrounded you like a warm cloak. 

“You ignorant ass!” The insult was accompanied by one push to his chest that had him stepping back immediately. You were sprinting in the other direction before he could get in another word. 

Lo’ak supposed he had no right to be surprised when you were unreachable for the rest of the day. Perhaps it was not his place to push you earlier but he also couldn’t find it in himself to keep from being anything but honest when it came to you. He knew better than to believe that one night in his kelku and a gift or two would win back your trust. The long game was a road paved by immense patience. A trait that was not his favorite to exhibit. 

However, patient or not, you deserved to know the depth of his feelings. You may not have been willing to accept them yet, but that wouldn’t stop him from expressing them all the same. Bottling it up only made his tossing and turning at night all that much worse. Especially now that your scent lingered in his kelku. It was a new form of delicious torture to press his nose into the blanket that was still drenched in your natural perfume.  

Neteyam encouraged him to continue being diligent and patient, perhaps the only piece of advice that kept him from searching for you when he found your kelku empty upon dropping off your dinner. Perhaps he had a point, even if he were to find you it was obvious that the only thing he could expect from your company was snide comments and harsh glares. And yet, Lo’ak couldn’t help but feel a craving even for that. 

So when plans changed the following day and Lo’ak was invited to cliff jump with a group you were meant to be present with, he couldn’t jump fast enough at the opportunity. A storm was meant to be rolling in a few days earlier than anticipated so it was the last opportunity they would have for a while to dive safely. Meaning that some projects were set to the side temporarily. 

He should have known better than to expect you with the group of friends the next morning. Neteyam, Talu, and even Kiri present but not you. When asked about your absence Talu had simply rolled her eyes and claimed she had done everything in her power to get you out of the house for some fun. To play hooky just this once. 

And immediately Lo’ak knew where to find you. Ignoring the protests at his bowing out, Lo’ak gave a quick wave goodbye and bounded through the forest towards his destination. 

And for once, you weren’t difficult to track down. 

Norm had asked for a group to start dismantling one of the last surviving air crafts left behind by the RDA. He wanted to get it foraged for any remaining supplies that could be of use, however, the vehicle was left in a precarious condition. Hanging high in the trees above, it looked more like a crushed tin can than the death machine he knew it was during the heat of battle. Pulling it apart to even examine for anything salvageable would take a whole group of Na’vi an afternoon. 

And yet, there you were. Alone and cursing under your breath as you tugged at the crushed side door with all your might. Lo’ak stifled a chuckle when he saw the position you were in, legs wrapped around a higher tree branch so that you could swing upside down and try to access the left side of the aircraft. 

That threatening laughter subsided into a different feeling when he caught a glimpse of the way your beaded top barley clung to your chest in this upside down position. Only a few beads hanging loosely to cover your perked nipples. 

Gulping down the lump in his throat, Lo’ak fought the urge to adjust himself in his loincloth. No doubt, you wouldn’t take kindly to his presence in the first place, let alone any evidence of his sudden arousal. 

“I knew I’d find you here.” He called from below. 

He was caught between guilt and amusement when his sudden comment had you losing grip on the branch with a surprised squeak and sliding across the top of the aircraft. His smile dropped when you peeked up from the other side of the machine and leveled him with a fiery glare. 

“Aren’t you meant to be jumping off a cliff, dumb ass?” He heard your voice echo from above as he made quick work of scaling up the tall tree. The moment his head peeked up over the last branch, small hands scrambled to push at his own. “Go back! I don’t want you here.” 

Your feeble attempts to push him off were borderline adorable as he easily lifted himself up over the last hurdle and sat back on his haunches beside you. 

“You might have a hard time cracking this thing open on your own.” 

A muscle in your jaw ticked, tempting him to run the pad of his finger along your delicate features. God, even when you looked ready to beat him off with a stick you were nothing short of exceptional. 

“Not that it will stop you.” He added.

“What makes you so sure?” You challenged, rising to your feet swiftly to climb back to the other side of the aircraft. Lo’ak followed, as if drug by an invisible cord tying himself to you. 

“Because I know you.”

The comment earned him a scoff, your tail snapping back at him when his hovering got too close. 

“You knew me as a kid, Lo’ak. I’ve grown.” 

“Undoubtedly.” A few brisk strides spun him in front of you to block the path. “Grown more capable. Grown more independent.” Lo’ak paused, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “More beautiful.” He whispered. 

“Grown less gullible.” You shot back, causing him to stumble as you pushed at his shoulders to get him out of the way. He watched you pass, resisting the urge to keep himself within your bubble. Distance may make the heart grow fonder but no one told him that distance from you would drive him into madness. 

“Still just as stubborn as ever.” 

You resumed your position on the other side of the aircraft, this time ignoring the taller shadow that followed your every step. With precarious footing you were able to grip the edges of the crushed door but could only apply a small amount of force without losing your balance. 

“Yes yes I know, Lo’ak. I’m a stick in the mud. Don’t know when to quit and run off for fun and games with the others. I believe Talu has already beat you to the punch on this lecture. I’m not interested in a repeat. Not all of us can be a social butterfly like you.” 

For a moment Lo’ak was caught in the whiplash of your self deprecating misunderstanding and a comment towards him that seemed to almost be a complement. But then your left foot was slipping and his body was reacting before his mind could catch up. One rushed leap heaved himself into your space, one hand gripping the rack atop the roof of the aircraft while his other arm slunk around your waist to pull you back into place. 

Your smaller hands threatened to break his focus as they willingly clung to his broad shoulders for support. 

“You are nothing like me, tiyawn.” Those oh so kissable soft lips turn down into almost a pout. “And that’s what I love about you.” 

Ear tucked back against your luscious hair and tail curling around your own ankle, the surprise at his comment gave him enough time to gently lift your body to tuck against his with one arm before carefully dispositing you to a safe perch on his left. Thoughts formed more clearly without your mouth watering essence creating a fog around them. 

And yet, even staring at those beautiful golden eyes that were now relaxed from your usual glare, shot in his direction was too much to handle if he had any hope of expressing himself with more than one syllable responses. By Eywa, why did the Great Mother create such an exquisite creature to torture him with?

He turned, setting himself into a different foothold that allowed him to slowly start peeling back the thin crushed metal. Every muscle tensed as he forced it back inch by inch but the harder fight was keeping his lips from turning up into a crooked grin when he felt your intent gaze burning through him. A new spice nipped at your signature scent. Just a whiff of your arousal was enough to feel a renewed hardness between his own legs. 

“You may not be some exuberant social butterfly. You may not run after danger and adventure at a rate only skxawngs like me can manage.” The metal pulled back another inch, the sounding screech almost covering up your short mixture of a laugh forced into a scoff. “But I could never be you, yawne.” He paused, daring to meet your eyes. 

“So brave. So resilient. I’ve heard the stories.” The endless hours you had spent in the healers tent as wave after wave of mauled Na’vi came through those doors. There was not an ounce of him that could even feign surprise when he heard it was you that had spent the longest cleaning and stitching wounds, rebreaking bones back into position, sometimes even scrambling to rush that tent down the stream an extra mile as the bombs rained closer. 

“I think you have me confused with someone else. Perhaps one of your other girlfriends that in fact stormed into battle with a weapon in hand. I am no brave warrior.” 

Lo’ak’s eyebrows scrunched. He couldn’t find it within himself to even care for the brief snide in your comment when faced with your wavering confidence on display. You were never one to hide your emotions well, despite what you would like to believe. The mask you wore was always cracked, leaving him a sliver to peek into what plagues your mind. 

“You fought just as hard as them. Simply in a different way.” 

“Lo’ak there is no need to shower me with flattery. I know that I stayed on the sidelines while they faced death. I am no fighter. I was never meant to be and I accept that.” 

Something seized in his chest, pushing his body into motion until he was back into your space, eyes bearing down at you with an intensity he hoped would burn through your stubborn defenses. 

“No one faced death the way you did, yawne. The others may have gone into the heat of battle knowing the potential consequences of doing so but you were among those that dealt with those worst case consequences day in and day out. You had a front row seat to loss and turmoil. Men and women’s lives hanging in the balance, that decision sometimes being made by the rush of your own hands. There is nothing about it that remotely resembles sitting on the sidelines and I don’t know what how you fucking did it.” His lungs seized for air. “I’ve had more than my fair share of war, but I could never imagine plucking up the courage to face that terror.” 

It was only after the spill of words that Lo’ak could recognize the way his blood raced. The heat that now had his tail flashing with an adrenaline that he could almost attribute to furry. Looking down at your flushed expression, lips parted and momentary disbelief at his sudden confession, he couldn’t blame himself either for harboring that anger. 

How could you not see what he did? Surely after all that you’ve endured, you should be the one spitting this speech confidentiality back at him. Telling him off for even attempting to court such a fearless goddess as yourself, and you would be right. And yet, all you could do is stare back at him with a wide eyed expression and the wheels in your head turning to keep up. 

“I’m sorry.” That timid whisper broke the silence and it was only then that Lo’ak had the sense to release his clenched jaw. You weren’t apologizing for thinking such things but rather for getting him so riled up and that had him drawing back within an instant. 

“No I…” He gaped for the right words, bottom lip tucking between his sharp teeth. “I simply…” He paused, brows pulled together as you looked up at him with curious eyes. “I wish you could understand all the pieces that make you so magnetic, yawne. I have never met someone who cares as much as you. Utterly devoted to the people, offering your whole self to a cause without a second thought. You’re not a stick in the mud, tiyawn. You’re a rare gem.”

It was not his intention to render you speechless but Lo’ak couldn’t claim to be against the view it gave. The tense scrunch of your features relaxed until those beautiful eyes were peering up at him with the sparkle of a rushing river beneath sunlight. A certain softness fell over your countenance, one that was made even more breathtaking when a pink glow blossomed over your cheeks. 

The trance you had fallen over could only last so long before you were muttering about getting back to work and sheepishly dipping past his shoulder. His lips parted for a just moment in search of digging into what change he had just witnessed but he quickly stopped himself. Lo’ak knew when it was best not to push his luck. You allowing him to stay and work was already more than he would have guessed to receive a few minutes prior, so he took that miracle in stride. 

However, there was nothing to sate the side of him that sparked with curiosity and desire when it came to you. He jabbered on about anything and everything he could think of just to shoot at a chance you would have something to say in response. For a while it seemed that nothing could steal your attention away from the task it was pinpointed on, that is until a sudden burst of frustration had you slamming your fist against the curved metal and cutting off Lo’ak’s current Metkayina story. 

“Stupid sky demon technology.” You muttered with a dark glint, trying once again to claw at the metal edge and pull back with all your might. 

The majority of your joint efforts to dismantle the aircraft had come from Lo’ak’s own hands. Meanwhile you had stubbornly continued to struggle at pulling back even the slightest slab of metal. You were being too hard on yourself. His hands were not only larger and protected by the rough calluses he had gained handling weaponry and scavenging around hard ocean rock, but he also had the prior knowledge of sky people weapons manufacturing on his side. He knew which areas were weak points that he could exploit and which pieces were unlikely to budge without better tools. 

Your hands were soft and nimble, perfectly designed for climbing trees and stitching up wounds. Designed perfectly for so many wondrous things that had him staying up at night and fighting the tent in his loincloth. 

Shaking the rotting thoughts from his head, Lo’ak cautiously shifted forward to gently pry your hands from the sharp edge of metal. One more tug and it was sure to draw blood. 

“Mawey, we will get it eventually-”

“There is no time for eventually!” You shot back. The soft tuff of your tail whipped at his cheek when you abruptly spun on your axis to walk past him. A shiver raced all the way down to the tip of his own tail. “It is supposed to be finished today. I do not have another day to spare. With the healer’s tent still half broken and so many injured still waiting on a new batch of medicine…I…I can’t…” The sentences broke into choppy waves as your jaw clenched and tail snapped frantically in the wind. 

He sensed the best thing he could do was silently wait as you spouted out your stresses into a jumbled mess. 

“There is still so much left to fix!” And although you didn’t specify he knew you were no longer just talking about the crumpled aircraft you had yet to dismantle. The war had left a mark on the village not only emotionally but physically as well. Homes were being rebuilt, roles restructured with so many gaps left from those now in the arms of Eywa forever. The list could trail on forever. Knowing you, there was undoubtedly already a list stamped at the forefront of your mind to adhere to. 

But the village would be rebuilt.

The People would heal, they already were. 

It was the emotional scars you harbored that stung under such uncertain times. The same sting that had you wound into a tight coil. 

“I just…I can’t…” You let that thought drop with a huff, small hands now pressed over your heated face. 

Wind whistled through the trees, blanketing the prolonged moment of silence. 

“Do you know what the issue is?” Lo’ak carefully leaned back against the metal side. The look that you sent through parted fingers told him there was not a universe where you would ever be interested in what he thought the issue was. Regardless, he took that lack of response as an opportunity to continue. “You are too tense.” 

You scoffed, arms dropping to cross over your chest. 

“Everyone needs a break, yawne.” The heat in your eyes tried and failed to scorch him as he glided forward across the branch. “And you,” His bent knuckle tucked under your chin. “You more than anyone, need a release.” 

That double meaning did not bode well with you. His hand was slapped away just as the pink darkened across your cheeks. 

“Let me guess, this is your charming way of offering such services?” 

“What services do you mean, paskalin?” Lo’ak couldn’t keep the comment from his lips if he tried. Yet seeing your reaction, he couldn’t fathom why he would want to. Pointed ears on alert and a burning fire in your expression that was all the more lovely than the stressed tension you had worn moments prior. He meant what he said about your responsible nature being admirable, but it was obvious that a little fun could do you a lot of good. “Any service you require. I’m always happy to help you release that tension.” 

Swiftly you ducked under his arm and skated past him. 

“Handing out offers like that so freely, surely I would need to schedule an appointment several moon cycles in advance. I think I will pass.” 

It’s meant to be another stab at his younger reputation as a womanizer, but Lo’ak couldn’t help but revel in the jealousy that dripped from your voice. Subtle yet oh so sweet. 

“No need for jealousy, tiyawn. The offer is yours alone.” He carefully crafted his path to let your arms brush as he passed by. You must have felt the surge of electricity too as you halted in place and faced the male now towering in front of you. “Everyone knows that I belong to you.”

A hitch of breath so subtle that his ears had to strain to hear it, but present all the same. 

“I am at your disposal.”

He was taunting you. 

Or well…he had been since the beginning you supposed, but somehow now it seemed to actually have a physical effect on you. 

He had offered to provide a release from your stresses, not the first time either, yet now that idea was persistent in bouncing around your head constantly.  It roused a heat to your cheeks and between your thighs at the most inconvenient of times. You had found Lo’ak attractive upon the first time seeing him back from Awa’atlu, begrudgingly albeit, but now that the idea of not only looking but touching such an exquisite form had been planted, there was no escaping your body's reaction. 

There were a plethora of reasons you could have been feeling this way and you were eagerly holding on to every single excuse you could think of. You repeated that list in your mind over and over when you lay awake at night in your hammock, pulse rushing and temple sweaty after having experienced yet another erotic dream where Lo’ak had inserted himself as the leading star. 

It was the stress. It was never his place to point out but Lo’ak was right in assuming that there was far too much tension and anxiety riddling your every day routine. It felt as if there was always something being put on your plate. Even when there wasn’t you were sure to find another task to busy yourself with that felt like the most pressing matter possible. So when you tossed and turned at night, there was no easing the coiled muscles that made your shoulders rise up to your ears. A list of responsibilities were constantly on your mind, to the point where you even found yourself grateful for the consistent meals that Lo’ak left at your doorstep. Eywa, knows you would have nearly starved without it.

Even further, there was a new development in your home. That development was named Neteyam. Neteyam who was eager to fill his days with Talu’s company and even more than eager to show his appreciation of giving her time in a very…physical manner. She spent half the nights in his own kelku but your older sister still insisted on coming home frequently to keep you company, at least make it feel like she still lived there. 

However, part of you wished she would simply move into the Sully male’s kelku just so you wouldn’t have to hear their very prolonged goodbyes that consisted of far too much tongue and far too little clothing. You could never mistake Neteyam’s taller shadow casted on the privacy curtains as they attempted to sneak inside together. As two individuals that claimed to be accomplished warriors, there was no way they could truly believe this lack of stealth to mask their rendezvous from you. Or perhaps, much like his younger brother, Neteyam did not care to be modest in his sexual activities, wearing it as a trophy like the cocky bastard he was. 

So there you had been left, splitting your nights between dreaming of Lo’ak in your bed, running through the constant checklist of responsibilities, and hearing the damning evidence of Neteyam bringing your sister to a higher bliss over and over. 

All things considered, anyone else in your position would have crumbled by now. So what if your primal nature had come out to the surface under the recent pressures? A little arousal was normal for someone your age and by no means going to be the thing that crushed your logic to dust. 

Avoiding Lo’ak had become a normal part of your routine and it had seemed like the most reasonable course to combat these feelings. On your particularly sharp days you managed to go without a glimpse of his face until dinner and even then it was from afar. You figured without any new content to fuel these dreams they would surely putter out and you would be left to focus on more important matters. 

That had not been the case.

Perhaps one of the more foolish decisions you had made because it seemed the longer you spent away from Lo’ak the more instant your body’s reaction would be at the next glimpse of him. Your craving for him only grew as you denied yourself of his presence. Even the short peeks at his smile as he sat around the fire with friends had been enough to feel saliva pooling along your tongue. 

And then there was that first night you had truly seen him dance. With such a long war season having come to a close, impromptu celebrations around the dinner fire had become almost routine. Jake Sully’s youngest son was the furthest from sheepish when it came to starting the vibrant dancing. He jumped at the opportunity, teaching those around him the dances he had learned from the Metkayina. 

And you had to admit…you were a secret fan of the sea people’s version of dancing. The men moved with such force. It provoked a sense of weight in their presence while simultaneously showcasing an admirable flow of grace. The muscle of his thighs were pronounced with every bend and stomp. Those dark tattoos rolled like waves as Lo’ak swished his hips in time with heavy drums. You wanted to run your tongue over every inch of that dark ink. Perhaps see how far those lines traveled beneath his loincloth. 

Feeling utterly mortified by your own silent lust you had tried to draw away from the dancing as soon as you were broken out of trance. Of course, you had not always been successful. More than once, golden eyes had caught your own followed by a four fingered hand reaching out in invitation. 

Never before had your natural desires taken such hold on your everyday life. There had been crushes and even lust before but this felt constant. And watching Lo’ak moving his body with the confidence and charisma you could only dream of having every night, it felt like a personal attack. Every quirk of his lips into a smirk felt directed at you in a display of the conquest he anticipated. 

So your patience had been a little more fried at the start of the next diving lesson. You had hardly heard any of Neteyam or Lo’ak’s directions to the crowd at the beginning of the lesson, too busy staring off into the trees and keeping your teeth from grinding together. 

“Neteyam says you have to slow your heartbeat.” Talu reminded you the next time your head had rushed up from under the water prematurely. Her soft hand gently placed over your chest but her sympathetic smile had only been met with your narrowed eyes and downturned lips. 

“Of course he did.” 

Your voice strained to keep the sarcasm from bleeding in too heavily. It didn’t matter anyways, not when she was already making heart eyes at the future Olo’eyktan from across the way. He took one step in your general direction and you knew then that now was time to escape the barely concealed love fest that was about to take place. 

Ducking beneath the water again you swam in the opposite direction until your lungs were scorched with the need to breathe. Over and over you had tried the exercise only to come up faster each time. 

The lack of sleep was catching up with you, enough to have you stumbling across the slippery rocks and naturally falling into Lo’ak’s arms. Rough hands steadied you back into a standing position, his tail just barely missing a brush of your thigh. He said something, most likely checking to make sure you were alright, but none of it registered. All you could feel was the heat of his skin and that natural musky scent that somehow wafted even stronger when he was soaking wet. 

Your eyes snagged his own for only a second before you were diving back into the cold water. At least beneath the surface you were able to block out the sounds and scents of the day that were too much for you to handle. If only oxygen were not an essential. Then you could stay down here forever. A perfect sanctuary to collect your thoughts. 

The next time you sprung up from the depths you allowed yourself a moment of respite. Heart pounding and lungs seizing you couldn’t imagine holding your breath again. However, without that distraction your eyes naturally wandered to where Lo’ak instructed a Na’vi male from the other side of the small lake. Water dripped from his braids and created a dancing trail down the curve of his spine. 

So much for staying away. It seems that no matter what you did, Lo’ak was there to throw your day off course. Even when he wasn’t there he haunted your dreams. You mentally cursed whatever spell he has managed to put you under. Perhaps dark magic existed after all. 

If only you could have a break, just one moment where you were able to breathe.

A release.

That’s what Lo’ak had said. His head would grow until it exploded if you ever told him he was right, but the fact still remained, you needed relief. And you needed it now. 

Lo’ak was hardly subtle in the way he peeked back at you from the corner of his eye. His ears remained standing tall atop his head and while one could claim it was to listen for possible drowning Na’vi in need, you knew that his senses were attuned only to you. And that thought…

That thought alone made something burn within you. A certain excitement blossomed as your instincts were fueled by the idea of being wanted. So many nights you had spent alone in your hammock while listening to Neteyama and Talu wrestle and giggle next door. So many dreams you had woken up from only to find yourself missing a touch that never existed. 

But here was a male in his prime and he wanted you.

And, by the stars above, you couldn’t help but secretly admit that you wanted him too. 

Why not let him sate your desires? After all, was he not the one that put you into this hazy state? Dash logic to the side and forget the consequences that would come later, it was your turn to escape the pressure around you and get lost in the strong arms of a Sully male. 

Lo’ak spotted you before the water line had even lowered down to your hips. A part of you felt bad when all it took was one look his way and he was already neglecting the student in front of him.

Everyone knows I belong to you

 You briefly heard him jumble together some messy instructions and an excuse before water was sloshing behind you. He at least had the decency to wait a few moments after you had exited the lake before trailing after.

Adrenaline pulsed through you with every step, drowning out the voice of caution long enough for you to round the corner and enter a secluded cave. It raged even higher when you heard smooth footsteps falling closer. 

So when Lo’ak finally rounded the corner himself and you got another glimpse of those charming, yet currently confused, features, something inside of you snapped.

“Are you alri-” 

His question melted against your lips into that sudden kiss. Although initially he let out a small sound of surprise, Lo’ak dove back into the kiss the moment his brain had caught up with what was happening. 

This kiss was nothing like the sweet ones the two of you had shared as children. This was ravenous - addicting. And this time, it was you that now pushed the tension between you from taunt to absolutely filthy territory. 

His lips were softer than you remembered, but created a beautiful contrast to the sharp fangs that threatened to tear into your bottom lip. When Lo’ak nipped at the flesh there in silent question you wasted no time in sliding your tongue past his plush lips. 

Lo’ak tasted of the night breeze and the smoke from communal fires at dinner. Every inhale that you could spare between the battle of your lips and tongue was infused with his unique essence. Night’s whisper that could chill your bones during a summer day. 

It had you fingers tangling quickly into his braids, his own hands gripping at your hips in response. And when you suddenly shoved him back against the cave wall, he submitted to your small show of strength without question. In fact, a delighted grin spread to reveal those white teeth and an animalistic glint in his eye. 

Whatever bug you had caught from him, lighting your primal desires with no bounds, it seemed he had caught it too. Nothing but pure hunger and desperation in his countenance, all signs of surprise or concern washed away by the cave’s shadows. 

He burned for you just as much as you did him. And a part of you, perhaps a selfish part at that, yearned to see if he was suffering even more than you have been. 

So when you dove back in to reconnect your lips with ferver, your right hand caught his left wrist before it could land back on your waist. Pushing your body flush against his, you could feel the ripple of tension across his abdomen and shoulders, but he showed no signs of rebellion when you pressed his hand back against the cave wall. 

His right hand mirrored the placement on the other side of him, nails digging into the rock. 

In no universe would you have a chance of overpowering him physically. Neither did your actions exhibit much true force in the first place, but Lo’ak allowed you to wrestle him into your desired position. 

Everybody knows I belong to you.

I belong to you.

He had every chance to spin the situation to his advantage, to finally take what he claimed to have been craving for years. But instead, it was you that got to take. Everything he had offered for you on a silver platter. 

You hadn’t meant for it to be a test, but regardless he had passed with flying colors. His patience was rewarded when you dragged his left hand back to your hips and released it to explore. You had some exploring of your own to do, lips brushing down the column of his throat while finally running your knuckles over the dark lines of his tattooed sides. 

The contrast of his calloused hands mapping out your soft skin was maddening. It had been a long time since someone had touched you in this way but you hadn’t realized how desperate you had become for a foreign touch. Or more specifically, for his touch. So confident and smooth yet voracious when he sought to leave the imprint of his fingertips along your hips and waist.  

“Fuck yawne.” His voice was wrapped with a gravelly timbre. One that traveled straight to your core. 

Such deliciously sweet torment he suffered as you bit harshly over his pulse, but Lo’ak blossomed like a flower beneath it. You could feel the way it took everything within him to not pin you to the ground and take what his body has been begging for. It was almost a more mouth watering display of strength to watch him contain his natural brawn with the veins in his arms popping, than experience the ease at which he could manhandle you. 

Leaving marks along his throat was not enough anymore. It seemed this game was creating a specific suffering for you as well, the rush of your own arousal becoming borderline painful to endure. He was eager when you tugged him down for another kiss. His knees bent slightly and back curved in order to accommodate the vast height difference. 

If you decided to, would he let you push him down onto his knees. A mighty warrior of both land and sea gazing up at you from a place between your thighs. His tongue only a few inches away from where you wanted it most.

The thought had your head spinning and nails digging into his shoulder blades. Lo’ak welcomed every increase of passion with just as much enthusiasm to reciprocate. However, you needed him closer. Needed to intertwine your bodies until there was no telling where you ended and he began. 

Without pulling away from the kiss you steadied your hands on his shoulders and bent your knees to jump. He took the silent cue in stride, managing to capture your waist in his hands just before you leaped. 

You felt as light as a feather being carried by the wind as he slowly lowered your body to slide along his chest and stomach until your legs could slink around his trimmed waist. There was no rush in the action, because for him there wasn’t any physical strain either. 

He dared to push his luck just an inch further. Four fingered hands smoothed down the curve of your spine before settling at the beginning of your backside’s curve. Permission was given in the form of your tongue swirling around his devilishly. And the Omatikaya warrior did not need to be told twice before he was sinking them down further and gripping a cheek in each hand. 

Your smaller hands gripped like claws in his ebony braids. And when you tugged back on them without warning, breaking the kiss, a wide grin spread over his features, accompanied by a husky laugh. Lo’ak Sully was not simply tolerating your devious attitude. He was fanning the flames to your fire, reveling in that rising heat. 

And heat there was. You could feel your arousal gathering in your tewng like molten lava. Surely he too could feel it seep through the fabric as your core was pressed against his pelvis. It seemed his patience could only go so far, as he used the grip on your ass to rock you down further to where a bulge had formed in his own tewng. 

It felt as if the sparks of a shooting star had rippled between you too. And you were drunk on it. Drunk on him. 

As he released another groan into your mouth, you knew that you would never be able to get enough of Lo’ak Sully. 

“Bro you can’t run off in the middle of a- oh sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Neteyam was turning on his heel before he had properly even entered the cave. He shuffled back out the way he came, but not before sending one last peak over his shoulder. 

Your gaze remained frozen to the space it had snapped to upon being interrupted. Neteyam was gone, but that didn’t change the fact that he saw you grinding against his brother while sticking your tongue down his throat. 

“Just ignore him.” Lo’ak pleaded between the open mouthed kisses he laid over your jaw. 

He groaned for a less pleasant reason this time when you wiggled out of his arms. Both of your labored breathing filled the cave as he waited for your next move. His eyes shined with hope even as his lips were on the verge of turning downwards. 

A similar feeling of disappointment had settled in your gut just as quickly. Regardless, there was no telling what you would do if you stayed one more second locked in this heated moment with him. 

And so with red hot cheeks and a stumble to your step, you sprinted to safety. 

Please comment, reblog, or send an ask with your thoughts. It does so much for my motivation<3

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