#and with making editing it seem less redundant

[dhs-in-disguise]

Well that was surprisingly productive

It‘s raining, the air smells nice, the birds are chirping, the sun has gone down but it‘s not pitch black outside yet, how could I possibly pass up this opportunity to write cozy shit?!

[gyuswhore]

the story of us ✦ j.w.w x reader

the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now - the story of us

synopsis: So many walls that you can't break through; except you do.

wc: 2.1K

contains: best friends to lovers, angst, fluff, humour, happy ending, alcohol, arguments

masterlist

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[a/n]: im exhausted, im loopy, im hungry, but i really wanted to post this so here you go my babies I'm sorry i haven't fed you in so long (ty @toruro for making sure i wasn't talking out of my ass in this ily)

[edit; 11/04/24]: grammar and spelling.

Jeon Wonwoo was nearing boiling point when he watched you push him away from yet another conversation.

He tried to understand, just like he always had. But it was proving near impossible at the five-month mark. 

There were clear signs you exhibited when you needed space, for whatever reason, Wonwoo knew you would tell him when you recovered. So he gave you what you needed.

And yet, when he finds himself pushed away from what looks like a casual conversation between your mutual friends, he finds his mild annoyance grow into something hotter. 

There’s a clench in his jaw as he tries not to squeeze the red cup in his hand with too much pressure, even when all the spiteful bit of his brain wants to do is to pour its pigmented contents all over your cream outfit. He manages to control himself, choosing to get up and exit the premises entirely. In complete silence, he refuses to acknowledge any yell of his name from passing acquaintances. 

Jeon Wonwoo refused to respond to any of your advances after that. 

Invitations to lunch were left on a jarring sent, the notification sitting in his log until he chooses to open it too late. His response was bare when you asked for help on some accounting concepts, pushing you over into Jihoon’s hands to fulfill your requirements. There’s a blatant shrug when you touch his shoulder, concerned, asking why his behaviour had become so distant in the past weeks; he responds with a mumble of, “just tired”.

The great divide happened a few days proceeding your birthday, one for which Wonwoo did nothing for but send you a quick message during the evening, never to see you throughout the extended day. 

“I can’t believe you’re putting this on me!” you all but yell, eyes wide and expression exasperated at the situation.

“Are you blind? Or just plain stupid? Because I didn’t tolerate months of your shit attitude to have you say it isn’t your fault.” Wonwoo is breathing heavily, hands motioning towards your entire figure with equal disbelief.

“What attitude?” you emphasize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t be upfront with my best friend.”

“There’s a difference between being in a mood and blatant disrespect. I’m tired of having to put up with your mood swings like it’s my responsibility to coddle you. When was the last time you genuinely asked me how I was doing?”

“All the time!”

“Yeah, after you realize there's nobody else to whine and wail to!”

“Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Fine. If I’m clearly so unhinged, I’ll leave you to your liking.” 

The dwindled interactions, from messages to hellos, went from sparing to nonexistent — just like that. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect for you and Wonwoo to reconcile in the matter of a few days, if not a couple weeks.

But when the distance did nothing but grow larger, there was a settle of resentment in the pit of your stomach as you accepted the feud you were in. 

A text was sent from your phone a couple days after the incident.

[You]: can we talk?

But when you see no sign of the grey Delivered on the end, you knew he had blocked you. 

This was all nothing less than baffling to you for a number of reasons, starting with how you had never witnessed Wowoo acting this way. 

Wonwoo had done nothing but reprimand you the rare chance you suggested blocking an apprehensive individual, something about not showing that you cared. His voice seemed redundant after a certain decibel, the rarest chance to witness him yell at a failed video game or a frustrating professor. 

You know better, which is the only reason you’re ruling off paranormal possession. 

The claims against you came as an afterthought, not, however, rendering them any less strange. There’s a part of you that pondered if your shield of annoyance blocked you from seeing the truth in his words and in your behaviour, finding yourself overwhelmed with emotions when the thought crossed your mind, tears of frustration immediately blurring your vision. 

You did not understand, you could not. And when it all got too much, you allowed the hurt and confusion to turn into something more dangerous. You replaced it with anger, in the same place that once occupied a more delicate emotion. 

There was an uproar in Wonwoo’s mind when he sees you walk into the lecture hall, unaware of your overlapping schedule in the new semester. He watches as your eyes pass over the moderately packed space, briefly glancing over where he sat; if you saw him, you did nothing to bring a reaction out of it. You take a seat a few rows up front, right in front of him where he’s able to see the back of your head for the next two hours — for the rest of the semester. 

He wonders if it’s too late to switch classes. 

“Wonwoo, I honestly think this is getting out of hand.” Jihoon munches on his cashews, leaning against bark of the tree they were both sat under. 

“Did you want me to keep tending to her bullshit then?” he grumbles.

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know it’s not.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” Wonwoo’s retort is brisk.

Jihoon is suddenly snapping his fingers in his face at the reply, a flinch accompanies Wonwoo’s already sour expression. 

“See! See how frustrating it is when somebody isn’t making sense?” 

“How does this—” 

“Wonwoo, did you try talking to her about how you felt, you know, without the screaming?” 

Jihoon watches as Wonwoo’s expression clears out, his eyebrows unfurrowing and the scowl fading. He doesn’t speak, choosing to let the realization kick in.

“No.” 

Jihoon sighs, taking another pause. “I’m not saying what she did wasn’t uncalled for, but you need to talk shit out before deciding you hate each other.”

“I don’t hate her.”

“Right, so can we wrap this up quickly and have you confess your undying love so we can all relax.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Heat crawls up Wonwoo’s cheeks.

“What? If you don’t hate her, it’s gotta be the opposite.”

Did Wonwoo like you? Yeah, he probably did. Did he ever let himself ponder upon it? No, because he was downright mortified of the mere thought. He finds himself a hypocrite to say it was to preserve your friendship, but he figures he’s fucked it up in a way that’s arguably worse. 

Regardless, Wonwoo walks away from that conversation with two things: a stark realization, and an even starker admittance. 

Everything was going wrong. At least that’s what it felt like when you hear the clang of your water bottle hit the pavement, rolling off into the oncoming traffic as you sprint to grab it. You nearly cause a vehicle pile-up, swallowing a couple profanities from braking drivers. 

You’re stuffing the darn thing into your bag when you trip on a loose brick on the path, nearly landing on your face. The glare you send into the pavement costs you even more when a hard shoulder bumps into your side, sending you another couple steps back. You don’t bother to see who the perpetrator is, too preoccupied with your attempts to take in deeper breaths amid the blankness of your mind. 

There are no hiccups after that, what you might owe your more conscious mind to. Stomping up the library steps, you thank nothingness for the air conditioning that meets your hot face, slowing down as you take in the crowd. 

Scanning the room for an empty seat is harder than you’d anticipated, hoping the heat would keep students away from the building as you left to get work done. Approaching a table, you set down your bag with a huff, pulling the chair out to finally take the seat you’ve been needing for so long. 

The universe seems to have other plans. 

It’s almost funny the way you and Wonwoo make eye contact across the other table, the recognition sending a jolt through your stomach. 

You’ve never moved so fast, pushing the chair back in with a screech that earns you a few looks, grabbing the handles of your bag as you turn around to leave the building you’d just entered. 

No way you'd sit there. Not when he was around.

You're bounding down the steps when somebody passes you, murmuring something without slowing their stride.

“I’m leaving, you can go inside,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his voice has you halting almost immediately.

Whipping your head around to search for the sound, you watch as he takes a turn at the end of the steps, slowly moving out of your vision. 

There’s a swirl of something in your chest, and you realise in that moment how much you missed hearing his voice. 

Chiding yourself, you blink back the water that wells up in your eyes, embarrassed at how quickly you were losing yourself.

But the damage was done. And you wanted to be reckless, regardless of how desperate it made you look. A split second decision is made in that moment, one that lightens the heavy feet that you’ve planted on the concrete. 

You’re back to bounding down the steps, but this time with aim. 

Taking the same turn you saw Wonwoo take, you break into a sprint as you see his figure move farther away. You keep running, continuing to bump into both objects and people, hurried "sorry"'s the only thing you choose to throw their way. 

“Wonwoo!” Your voice comes out stronger than you’d intended, the sharpness having him turn around in search, eyes landing on your accelerating figure. 

Both of you realize too late how fast you’re really going, the velocity taking you directly into his outstretched arms, hands grasping the sleeves of his shirt as you come to screeching stop directly into his chest. 

You don’t have the time nor the patience to be embarrassed, pulling your face back to look directly into Wonwoo’s bewildered eyes to huff out your next words.

“Why did you block me?” you ask, voice gruff and slightly out of breath.

Wonwoo’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, words refusing to come out. 

“Why are you so mad at me? Why are you being nice to me if you’re mad at me?” You don’t stop, the direct questions tumbling off your tongue in desperation. 

You search his face for an answer when his mouth fails, but all you find is the remnants of shock yet to ebb away. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, I’m sorry for taking your presence for granted, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for…for… I don’t know! I’m just really sorry and I don't know how else to make this right.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you hear him say and you feel the moisture return to your eyes. 

“Huh?”

“I should’ve…” he pauses, looking sheepish. “I should’ve talked to you before I, y’know, went off on you. I should’ve managed my feelings better, I’m sorry.” 

You're silent for a few tantalizing moments before you raise your fists, and pound down on his chest with everything you have. You do it again, and then again, and again—

“What?- Ow!” 

“When are you gonna stop bottling up your feelings for fucks sake, it’s landed you everywhere but good!” you say, nearly yelling.

Wonwoo whips his head around to see who’s listening, palm to mouth in attempts to silence you. 

“I’m sorry! I know! I’m working on it,” he rambles, trying to get you to quit struggling. “Jihoon and I talked, that’s why I realised I was being dumb.”

“Are you gonna unblock me now or do I need to pay Jihoon to sit down with you again?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You payed Jihoon to sit with me?”

“No, you idiot. But I should have because you can’t seem to figure out how to feel emotions.” 

Wonwoo can’t help himself when he breaks out into a grin, letting out a breathy chuckle that has you asking “What?”.

He pulls you in, heart to heart in an embrace, holding you tight to make up for the weeks of no contact. He breathes in your scent and feels as though he hasn’t in years. 

“I’m not gonna come running up to you the next time you decide you hate me,” you mumble into his shoulder, pouting slightly.

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“No.” Wonwoo pulls away but keeps you in his arms, looking at you, “I love you. Like, the kind of stuff that makes you wanna live together forever. I love you.” 

It’s your turn to gape like a fish. 

“W-what?”

“You told me not to bottle up my feelings.” 

“Yeah, but—wow, um.” 

“Did I make another mistake?” 

No! You wanted to scream. But you don’t. You instead lift your hands up to come around his face, cradling it. And you kissed him. 

“I love you, too. Like the live together forever kind.” 

[girldriveroscar]

UGHH the SUIT. the more i look the more it seems oscar has lost a bit of weight by the end of this season? even his face looks more chiselled and his legs look less meaty overall if that makes sense?whereas lando has bulked up a bit, i swear i remember after the summer break there were a few weekends where his race suit was so tight around the chest that he very nearly couldn't zip all the way up

i also have crazy feelings about oscar's insane blush but i'm starting to ramble and lose focus

for oscar i think a lot of its just residual babyfat going away and his training !! going off the assumption his training includes a lot more cycling these days (cycling is his preferred cardio/got a bike/moved to monaco) id agree his thighs are more toned/ass is fatter now (and the suit kinda just adds to the illusion more that hes lost weight)

(mind u hes wearing shorts under the wetsuit)

converselyyyy i think landos gained a lot of healthy weight, like second puberty weight LOL IMO before he looked fit in the way young guys w good metabolism r naturally toned wo rlly trying — and now he looks intentionally swole from exercise and diet which is Deliciously better. imo. imo imo.

both of them i think REALLY grew into their features and lost their “teenager” face over the course of the season - theory supported by max commenting on how Oscar looks like a chad now (bro just say he's hot wtflmao) and my mother who thinks both are "glowing up" (we had an extensive conversation) (atp i could do a highlight reel on all the weird shit my mom has said about drivers.)

ik the photos r getting redundant but for personal sake i need the side by side. God.

and honestly. Honestly. im kinda waffling. u can really make up any narrative ab their appearances bc their looks/size varies sm in photos. im not claiming this as bible Landoscar Aesthetic Growth frm the 2024 Season.

BUT. but i think i can say with some conviction, the biggest factor separating 23 landoscar to 24 is purely the Race Winner EffectTm aka just. self actualizing in tune with their cars.

feb 24 — nov 24

like the physical diffs r so slight! BUT the energy…the aura... 100% shift. and that shift reflects in how we (me) feel like these r two completely different men. have a longass draft ab this but cant b assd to edit it GUH. U Get what im saying. MCL38 stays fastest and lando can achieve orgasm. Basically.

mini tangent for funnnn. i tried soooo flipping hard to find more recent pics but I cannnnnnt! #recruiting unemployed oomfs. but from the Spanish GP 2023 their Nomex sizes were both S/M ! ngl I feel like Oscars poor posture (sorry I rly do love him its Endearing tome and I have to bring it up every time I talk about him) makes him look a lot bigger than he really is, especiaaallly when u see him from the back. Like he dwarfs lando from the back! but anyway I bring it up bc I think he rly is still one of the smaller drivers on the grid and wouldn't be surprised if his size is still a S/M

Lando is a funny case to me bc sometimes he looks pretty thick? then u see a close up of his wrist or thighs n its like wow ! u are literally breakable!!! to me he's got like..a lean sleeper build idk though

and yesss let s talk about oscars blush bc i could go on and on. does his chest get as rosy as his inner cheeks. do his thumbs go red when he's drunk. does his Three Sixteenths Chinese come out and give him asian flush when he's fucked up. (joking... but do es it... does it....) is his blush the color of his dic (GET DOEN GET DOWN GET DOWN) yeah. anyways.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7

edit: there is much better analysis in this follow-up post, although it does build on the stuff i wrote here

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

There were very few problems, the public killings having been good for the soldiers’ morale.

so where are the people like me in this world who would like pass out witnessing that. just too desensitized to care?

The Veretian herald was named Hendric and he had very strong arms, because banners were heavy.

Damen and Laurent were to ride alongside one another. Neither one of them had the better horse.

THEIR HORSES!! BACK TOGETHER DESPITE ALL ODDS!! because they’re definitely the same ones that fell in love during prince's gambit shut up

Damen was taller, but nothing could be done about that, Hendric had said with an impenetrable expression. Hendric, Damen was learning, had something in common with Laurent, in that it was never a simple matter to tell when he was joking.

give laurent a comedically large hammer and he’ll find a way

‘I hope the injured boy was returned to you safely.’ ‘Thank you, he returned with Paschal,’ said Laurent. For a salve? Damen opened his mouth to say, and didn’t.

throwback <3 but kings can’t have inside jokes :(

In the next moment, the horns rang out, triumphant and lonely at the same time, the pure sound absorbed by the sky and the wide open landscape around them.

“triumphant and lonely” nice detail

He remembered exactly how it had looked, and that was why he didn’t recognise it at first: the forest of broken spears was gone, and there were no gouged ruts in the earth, no men face down in the churned mud. Marlas was now a tumble of grass and wildflowers in the blowy, sweet summer weather, shifting back and forth in the gentle air. Here and there an insect droned, a drowsy sound. A dragonfly dipped and darted.

i like this :) we don’t get a lot of love for nature in this series, so i’ll take what i get. especially nice when nature represents healing and the passage of time.

Lining the hall were two dozen slaves.

oh this is going to be a headache. but it’s a headache worth having, because i’ve approached these annotations so far with integrity and fairness, and i refuse to treat this subject any differently. i don’t want to just ignore the things that are more difficult or less fun to unpack in order to get to the fun shipping stuff, i want to analyze them to the best of my ability and feel as comfortable as i possibly can moving forward.

so let’s set up some context:

1) damen has come a long way from his stance on slavery in book 1. he is actively refusing to partake in this expected custom, and finds the institution disturbing and triggering. he has developed a new appreciation for sex with truly consenting (not trained) partners, aka laurent, and can’t really go back. still, his reasons for refraining here are almost entirely based on his evolving sense of morality, not really relating to his relationship with laurent at all. for more on that moral evolution, see my analysis in chapter 4. further proof of this Really Mattering to damen is the fact that by not taking slaves, he is losing points with his own people. another great hint of his development as a king, making his own authoritative decisions rather than upholding tradition.

2) laurent does not like slavery. he does not think it is morally correct, and has made many jabs at damen throughout the series for disagreeing. he is disturbed by idea of people who have been groomed into relinquishing their own free will. if put in the situation of damen in book 1, laurent would not have been nearly as compliant or allowing—honestly, he probably would have tried to kill his master, and failing that, kill himself.

HOWEVER. vere does not do slavery. slavery had never been a relevant issue to laurent, at least until he was gifted a slave of his own and was made to deal with them in negotiations with patras. slavery is a thing other countries do, to laurent, and his current objective is make nice with a country that keeps slaves. therefore, he knows that his only real option is to keep the appearance of partaking in the custom, even if damen can get away with refusal. and i think we can safely assume that in laurent’s vere, there will be no slavery, even if he’s taking up the appearance of a slave owner now. additionally, i think we can also assume that there will be reform of the country’s pet system, which is an issue much more relevant to laurent’s lived experience.

if the stuff with laurent and slaves here was simply performative and un-indulgent, i wouldn’t need to be writing anything more here. but it is, as it is, one of the few things in the series that makes me feel very conflicted (see also: the garden scene in book 1). because while it’s true that laurent doesn’t actually use isander as a sex slave, and does have this kind of passive disdain for slavery, he does use isander in another way. he uses isander, a non-consenting brainwashed slave, as a way to make damen, who has never actually been a slave, jealous. this is an abuse of power that directly conflicts with laurent’s stated and assumed values regarding free will and individual personhood. we’ve seen things like this before, in arles, but laurent had known that damen was a prince and not a slave the entire time. but isander is a victim of this system—even if isander himself doesn’t know that, laurent damn well does. and laurent historically is someone who advocates for victims. so the fact that his morals here are being set aside in favor of a petty gesture against damen, is… disappointing. everything i said in chapter 3/4 about laurent’s mean girl era still stands: he knows he’s being shitty, and he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable and insecure. better to be a villain than a victim, etc. but laurent being a villain to damen, who laurent knows is perfectly capable of defending himself, is distinctly different from laurent parading out isander the slave just to hurt damen’s feelings.

it’s wrong for the obvious moral reasons, which laurent perfectly understands in the abstract. but it’s not a hill he’s going to die on here, and that’s not just because of the political advantage. this is 100% about personal shit with damen too. and sorry laurent, but slavery does not stop being wrong when it’s useful in creating drama with your ex. in fact, indulging in it for that reason specifically trivializes all of the legitimate problems with the practice. it makes laurent a hypocrite and it crosses a line, in terms of his mean girl schtick. i just want to make that clear—that there is very much a difference between laurent just being kinda cunty to damen in general, and specifically using a slave as tool in that cuntiness.

laurent is, and always has been, a morally complex and often hypocritical character. he has done things that have made me feel uncomfortable to read, like the way he treats damen in the garden scene. and that’s okay, and it doesn’t make him a bad character, or even a bad person. and to be fair, he isn’t doing any practical harm here—if he hadn’t chosen isander to kinda just vaguely flirt with in public and then leave alone in private, someone else probably would have done far worse. and that is an easy cop-out, and it’s not wrong. but still.

the problem isn’t with laurent's actions here, necessarily, but the principle. which is usually what laurent himself cares about the most, as he often values the ends above the means. politics aside, i think that laurent would readily admit post-mean girl era that the ends of making damen jealous did not, and should not, justify the means of using another human being who does not possess free will. maybe he even does that in the text, eventually, and i’ve forgotten.

(also, let’s not forget that isander may have been trained to not have his own feelings, but definitely still has them, because he’s a human being. and it probably makes him feel pretty bad to be chosen and then ignored by laurent. not that it should, because the entire thing is super fucked up, but it’s what he’s been groomed to believe. like, i did just want to throw that in somewhere, even though it’s obviously predicated on brainwashing and a lack of free will. it’s still what he’s feeling, and his feelings matter. just as much as damen’s or laurent’s.)

basically: laurent is failing to be honorable in his usage of isander, even if he’s not using isander as a sex slave as intended. his abstract values about the wrongness of slavery take a back seat to the political and interpersonal advantage of not only passively partaking in the custom, but actively using it to make damen jealous. even if laurent needs to pretend to take a slave to be politically accepted, he does not need to do All That. and honestly, with laurent’s ability to convince and command a crowd, i think we all know deep down that if he didn’t at least want to do this at least a little bit, just to piss damen off, he would find a way out of it. and that is a reality of laurent’s characterization here that i have to deal with, similar to his actions in the garden scene.

and then there’s the other thing that laurent's "performance" with isander has in common with the garden scene:

it’s hot. it’s wrong, and hypocritical, and could have been done in a way that would better suit my personal tastes, but yes, it’s hot. and on top of that, it’s also VERY funny. laurent’s performance, damen’s reactions, and isander’s obliviousness are all very, very funny. and i do want to be able to enjoy them for the petty gestures they are, and joke about them, without constantly having to throw in a “but also this is bad.” so doing this initial disclaimer feels like a happy medium to me, where i’m not ignoring the complexity of the situation entirely, but i’m also conceding that it’s not necessarily meant to be taken seriously, and it’s ultimately written for the reader to enjoy. like, don’t get me wrong, most of the slavery stuff in this series has NOT been written for the reader’s enjoyment—the values here are very clear, especially in damen’s arc—but there are still some indulgent moments. and it is fiction. and these characters aren’t perfect, nor did they create the culture of the kingdoms that they’re about to rule. and they do ultimately change the things that they, and we the reader, know are wrong.

but just like with the garden scene, i can’t quite get myself to write “so it’s totally fine to just have fun with the whole slavery thing” as a conclusion. and honestly, i feel pretty okay about that hesitancy. when i make jokes about this subject in this specific context (laurent and isander), i don’t want it to be forgotten that the subject itself (slavery) is still entirely serious. so instead, i’ll say:

this is fun because manipulative petty lamen mind games are fun. this is hot because manipulative petty lamen mind games are hot. this is somewhat intended as a backhanded insult and display of moral superiority—laurent showing damen how awful he and his culture appear to non-slave owners—but that moral superiority ultimately falls short due to laurent’s hypocritical use of a slave to make damen jealous. all of those separate pieces of analysis are true to the overall experience of reading and interpreting these scenes. it’s a mixed bag, we know it’s a mixed bag, laurent knows it’s a mixed bag, and damen knows it’s a mixed bag. the only relevant person who doesn’t know it’s a mixed bag is isander, because he’s a slave and isn’t allowed to think for himself, and that fucking sucks.

Isander was olive-skinned and lithe as a fawn, with dark hair and eyes: Akielon colouring. He shared that with Nikandros; with Damen.

yeah i’m sure that’s just a coincidence

Male, either in deference to Veretian customs, or to suit Laurent’s assumed preferences.

akielon slave owners, trying to assess laurent’s preferences:

(can you tell my heart still isn’t fully in the humor here…)

Nikandros would never offer royalty anything less than a slave’s First Night.

god, the first night thing is fucked up. in general, i love the lack of like… uh… traditionally conservative (read: christian) attitudes about sex in capri, so the few similarities especially give me the ick. i haven’t read or annotated the erasmus short story yet, but i know it’s going to piss me off too. basically, the closer we get to the handmaid’s tale, the more i want to read complicit characters dying horrifically on the page. nikandros and the other akielons are skirting by for now with the plausible deniability they have re: fully understanding how slaves are trained, but they’re on thin fucking ice.

also, lighter side question, what’s the recommended reading order for the short stories?

sweet grace of a palace slave

gag

‘I like that one,’ said Laurent.

>:(

‘Slaves are trained in the arts of pleasure, but they do not lie with another until their First Night,’ Kolnas said. ‘Here we use the same strict, classical training that is used in the royal palace. Skills are learned through instruction, and practised with indirect methods. The slave remains wholly untouched, kept pure for the first use of the Exalted.’

imagine if real-life cultural customs were built around grooming a certain group of people to be sexually submissive and modest as a thinly-veiled way to control their sexuality and ensure that they are attached to dominant societal figures from a young age without the education or free will to consider themselves actual human beings, so they can unquestioningly spend their entire lives as sex machines and domestic servants defined entirely by their responsibility to the family, and then they die and their headstone identifies them by their status as a possession of their dominant partner. wouldn’t that be fucked up

‘I never did learn how to command a bed slave,’ said Laurent. ‘Teach me.’

guys i wish i could find this hot or funny but now i’m just mad about disturbing stuff in real life that i can’t analyze out of existence. i’m taking a break and eating a chocolate strawberry greek yogurt popsicle and then i’ll try to refocus on the funny toxic gay people

‘They cannot speak Veretian, Your Highness,’ Kolnas explained. ‘In the Akielon language, using the plain form of address is appropriate. To command any act of service is to honour a slave. The more personal the service, the greater the honour.’ ‘Really? Come here,’ said Laurent.

laurent go sit in the corner.

Laurent extended the tip of his boot. ‘Kiss it,’ he said. His eyes were on Damen.

god this is so good. i hate it so much.

to be fair, there is no way to do this that would be more effective than laurent using a slave. because, y’know, damen was his “slave.” it wouldn’t hit the same with some random non-slave guy. laurent wants to fuck with damen’s head, and part of that is making him miss something he most certainly should not be missing. laurent is also fucking with my head, because this gesture is so conflictingly wrong and compelling, a word which in this case means "something i’m embarrassed/ashamed to say that i find hot."

‘Good boy,’ said Laurent, reaching down to pet Isander’s dark curls, while Isander’s eyes closed and he flushed over.

(easy joke to make, but we’re all probably thinking it) damen:

(also, this being the only “good boy” in the entire series is just diabolical. but i get why it is, because i think it might not be the only one—and if it isn’t the only one, that means the regent says it at some point, and that’s exactly why it’s never used in a lamen sex scene.)

Kolnas preened, pleased that his selection was appreciated. Damen could see that the fort’s household around them was also pleased, having gone to great lengths to make Laurent feel welcome. They had considered with intense thoughtfulness Veretian culture and Veretian practices.

i sense some slight snarkiness here—not even from damen, but from the narrative itself. there’s palpable irony in the “great lengths” and “thoughtfulness” of akielions considering veretian culture while presenting laurent with slaves, all while veretian culture doesn’t have slavery.

It was pointless. There were two dozen slaves here, while the number of times Laurent had had sex in his life could probably be counted on one hand. Laurent was just going to be dragging twenty-four young men back to his rooms to sit around doing nothing. They wouldn’t even be able to unlace Veretian clothing.

according to damen:

this is stupid.

laurent is, in all ways but physical, a loser virgin.

he’s going to set out board games for those sex slaves. he’s going to throw them a pizza party. he’s going to answer emails the entire time.

they don’t even know how to unlace laurent’s clothing like i do.

this is stupid.

‘Can he also serve me in the baths?’ said Laurent.

CUNT.

‘And at the feast for the bannermen this evening when they give their pledge, if that pleases you, Your Highness,’ said Kolnas. ‘It pleases me,’ said Laurent.

damen is about to throw up on the floor

Cloth wound around his waist and over his shoulder, the sort of ceremonial Akielon garb that you could unreel from a person by taking hold of one end and pulling while they rotated.

looney toons-ass imagery

He could feel their discomfort, their need to debase themselves; this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves.

thank you damen for being the only normal person here. you've come a long way.

“discomfort, their need to debase themselves” is something book 1 damen would have found adorable and charming. he definitely wouldn’t have worded it like this, back then.

“this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves” building on the damen vs. kingship theme, he thinks he can’t have real love or intimacy or vulnerability if he’s a king. he can’t truly be paired with an equal, because he needs to be exalted.

He had sent away the slaves.

damen you’re the only one i’m not at mad at in this chapter. actually i liked the funny banner guy, we’re chill too. and isander is just trying his best

Laurent, he knew, was rooming in the adjoining suite, separated from him by a single wall. Damen was in the King’s chambers, which any lord who built a fort installed, in the hope the King would stop there. But even the former lord of Marlas’s optimism had not stretched to the idea that the heads of two royal families would visit simultaneously. To preserve their arrangements of scrupulous equality, Laurent was in the Queen’s chambers, beyond that wall.

i’m getting so much whiplash from this chapter like yeah this is funny and cute but also is the slavery stuff just normal to people like i’m aware the series started from a specific subculture and kink and body of literary work, so i guess i’m the weird one and the outsider here for being so distracted??

Isander was probably tending him, gamely doing his best with the laces. He would have to unhook the lacings on the back of the neck of Laurent’s riding leathers before drawing them through their eyelets. Or Laurent had taken Isander into the baths, to be undressed by him there. Isander would be flushed with pride at being chosen for the task. Attend me. Damen felt his hands curl into fists.

i don’t think i need to point out in a note, every single time, that damen being jealous of isander is funny and his possessiveness of laurent is hot. but i will still highlight the passages where it happens.

He turned his mind to political matters.

good call buddy, you and i are going to get through this chapter together

Men and women reclined on couches

(said apprehensively, given the overall themes of this chapter) ...women?

Makedon leaned, selecting a slice of peeled orange. Pallas, the handsome officer-champion, reclined with the easy posture that spoke to his aristocratic blood. Straton had hitched his skirts up and drawn his legs onto the couch, crossing them at the ankles. Everyone whom rank or office entitled to be here was assembled, and with every northerner of standing gathered to give their pledge, the hall was packed full. The Veretians present were mostly vertical, standing awkwardly in small groups, one or two perched gingerly on the edge of a seat.

There was no trumpet flourish or herald’s announcement, as there would have been in Vere.

okay i didn’t realize there was a trumpet flourish in vere. that is very funny in retrospect. a trumpet is not the instrument i’d choose to announce laurent’s arrival. in arles especially, i personally think that a halloween sfx cd would have been much more appropriate

Laurent didn’t rise. He wasn’t required to. He just watched from his reclining couch, as the hall prostrated itself. He had cultivated an elegant sprawl, with his arm draped over his couch back, and his leg drawn up, revealing the arc of an exquisitely clad thigh. His fingers dangled. Silk rucked around his knee.

laurent lean #14. kings leaning.

Isander was prostrated, an inch from Laurent’s casually draped fingertips, his lithe body bare. He wore a brief garment like a Vaskian man’s cloth. His collar fit him like a second skin. Laurent sat relaxed, every line of his body arranged tastefully against the couch. Damen made himself stroll forward through the silence. Their twin couches were next to each other. ‘Brother,’ Laurent said, pleasantly.

no comment

The eyes of everyone in the hall were on him. He felt their gazes, their underfed curiosity. He heard the murmurs—it really is him, Damianos, alive and here—accompanied by the brazen looks, looking at him, looking at the gold cuff on his wrist, looking at Laurent in his Veretian clothes like an exotic ornament—so that is the Veretian Prince. And beneath that the speculation that was never spoken aloud.

at least one akielon politics rpf truther is losing their mind rn. we have gaylor, this world has gaymianos

Laurent was scrupulously correct in the face of it, his behaviour immaculate, even his use of the slave was an act of unimpeachable etiquette. In Akielos it pleased the host for a guest to make use of his hospitality. And it pleased the Akielon people for their royal family to take slaves, a sign of virility and power, and a cause of great pride.

narrows my eyes

Barieus stepped forward. ‘I want assurances that Vere does not hold undue influence over Akielos.’ Undue influence. ‘Speak plainly.’ ‘They say the Prince of Vere is your lover.’

found the gaymianos truther

‘Who we take to our bed is not your concern.’

well i mean if you’re using the royal “we” to represent the kingdom, then yeah… it kinda is?

‘Shall I tell them what really happened between us? They want to know,’ Laurent said. Laurent began to unlace the cuff of his sleeve, drawing the ties through the eyelets, then opening the fabric to expose the fine underside of his wrist—and then the unmistakable gold of the slave cuff.

Laurent leaned his wrist elegantly on the curved arm of the couch, the open sleeve reminiscent of a delicate open shirt collar, its laces trailing. ‘Do I have the question clear?’ said Laurent, speaking in Akielon. ‘You are asking if I lay with the man who killed my own brother?’ Laurent wore the slave cuff with utter disregard. He had no owner, the aristocratic arrogance of his posture said that. Laurent had always possessed an essential quality of the untouchable. He cultivated a faultless grace on the reclining couch, his chiselled profile and marble-chip eyes those of a statue. The idea that he would let anyone fuck him was impossible.

and damen is so into it. love love love the contrast with the description of slaves in this chapter. damen doesn’t want them, he wants laurent. he sees laurent as a complete and compelling person. there is honor in laurent’s performative submission—wearing the cuff—because damen respects laurent’s personhood. but he’s no longer able to see the submission of slaves as honorable, because he knows they’re fucking slaves who have been robbed of their personhood entirely.

Barieus said, ‘A man would have to be ice-cold to sleep with his brother’s killer.’ ‘Then you have your answer,’ said Laurent. There was a silence, in which Laurent’s gaze held that of Barieus. ‘Yes, Exalted.’ Barieus bowed his head, and unconsciously used the Akielon Exalted, rather than the Veretian titles Highness or Majesty.

a vine boom echoed through the court

‘Well, Barieus?’ said Damen. Barieus knelt two steps before the dais. ‘I will pledge. I see that the Prince of Vere stands with you. It’s right that we swear to you here, on the site of your greatest victory.’

“he is simply too cunty for us to deny his authority.”

Slaves brought the food. Squires served Damen, since he had made his preferences clear. It was an awkward arrangement that displeased everyone in the hall.

YES DAMEN!

Isander was utterly in love with his master. He strove continuously to do well, selecting each delicacy for Laurent to sample, bringing him only the best, in small, shallow dishes, refreshing the water bowl for Laurent to clean his fingers. He did it all with perfect form, discreetly attentive, and never drawing attention to himself. His eyelashes drew attention to themselves. Damen made himself look elsewhere.

but that’s not real love, and damen knows it. laurent knows it too. and damen did it way better in nesson-elroy

Laurent said, ‘Play The Fall of Inachtos,’ and a murmur of approval passed over the hall. Kolnas, the Keeper of Slaves, congratulated Laurent on his knowledge of Akielon epics. ‘It’s one of your favourites, isn’t it?’ said Laurent, transferring his gaze to Damen.

diabolical. need this energy for the lamen divorce playlists (they each have their own)

He had always liked the depiction of Akielons cutting down their enemies, as Nisos rode out to kill Inachtos, and take his walled city. He didn’t want to hear it now.

yayyy character development

It was Loyse and not Guion that Jord was approaching. She gave him a cursory look. ‘Yes?’ There was an awkward pause. ‘I just wanted to say . . . that I’m sorry for your loss. Your son was a good fighter.’ ‘Thank you, soldier.’ She gave him the token attention a lady might give to any servant, and turned back to her conversation with her husband.

loyse hiiiiiii loyse (said with appropriate sadness for her current state of grief)

Jord gazed at him for a long moment, then indicated Laurent with his chin. ‘I’m glad you two are friends,’ said Jord.

jord always knows exactly when to show up and make ill-timed commentary on damen and laurent's relationship

‘I thought when he found out about you, he’d swear revenge,’ said Jord. ‘He knew all along,’ said Damen. ‘It’s good that you could trust each other,’ said Jord. And then: ‘I think before you came, he didn’t really trust anyone.’ Damen said, ‘He didn’t.’

also isn’t it like SUPER awkward for jord to be around guion and loyse right now

Isander was bringing Laurent a sprig of grapes in a small dish. Laurent said something approving, and gestured for Isander to join him on the reclining couch. Isander glowed, shyly besotted. As Damen watched, Isander picked a single grape from the sprig, and lifted it to Laurent’s lips. Laurent leaned in. He twined a finger around a curl of Isander’s hair and allowed himself to be fed, grape by grape, a prince with a new favourite.

damen is about to start scratching the walls like a cat confronted with a closed door

He lifted the wine blindly. The cup was empty. Straton wasn’t the only Akielon departing with a slave; men and women throughout the hall were availing themselves. The wine, and the slaves enacting the battle were breaking down inhibitions. Akielon voices grew loud, emboldened by wine.

between the heavy drinking and sex practices, the akielon court actually sounds like my living hell. and we haven’t even gotten to the naked sports chapter yet

Laurent leaned in further to murmur something intimately into Isander’s ear, and then, as the recitation reached its climax, the clash of swords like the hammering in his chest, Damen saw Laurent tap Isander’s shoulder, and rise. I’d wager you never thought a prince could be jealous of a slave. At this moment I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat. Torveld’s words. He said, ‘Excuse me.’

The entire court around him rose as he pushed up from his couch-throne.

“couch-throne”

Trying to follow Laurent out, he got tangled in ceremony, the hall a stifling press of bodies and noise, and, as a blond head disappeared towards the doorway, he was stopped by party after party blocking his path.

okay i’m so curious what he’s meaning to do when he catches up to laurent. yell at him? yell at isander? throw up?

He ought to have brought a slave of his own, then the crowd would have melted away, understanding: the King wished privacy.

i am begging the protagonists of this book to stop using human people as objects. again maybe that’s just a me problem, this isn’t my usual genre and the akielon slavery system clearly doesn’t align with my kink sensibilities, but COME ON

The corridor was empty when he strode out into it. His heart was pounding. He turned the first corner into a section of the passage, half expecting to catch Laurent’s retreating figure. Instead, he saw a stark, empty arch with all its Veretian lattice stripped away. Under the arch was Isander, standing with his fawn eyes, looking confused and abandoned. His confusion was such that for a moment he just stared at Damen with wide eyes before he seemed to understand what was happening, and folded to the floor, forehead to the stone. Damen said, ‘Where is he?’ Isander was well trained, even if nothing was happening as he had expected tonight; and even if, rather mortifyingly, he was being asked to report this fact to his King. ‘His Highness of Vere has gone for a ride.’

well at least if “going on a ride” is laurent code for “feeling morally and emotionally troubled,” that’s… less disappointing, i guess.

also, i do realize that this is the place where laurent’s brother was killed, currently taken over by the nation that orchestrated and benefitted from his death. so there’s probably a twisted vindication in learning exactly how fucked up their culture is (asking about the first night, etc), and getting whatever kind of enjoyment out of the whole situation he can (pissing off damen). but there still had to be a crash, and as soon as laurent was excused from his duties he dipped to deal with it alone.

‘At the stables a handler might know his destination. This slave can inquire.’

i caaaaaan’t stand the way they’re denied use of personal pronouns

Closer; the approach was difficult because it was sharp with memory. Here was the place where their left flank had fallen. Here was the place where he had ordered men to attack the lines that would not fall, the starburst banner that did not falter. Here was the place where he had killed the last of the Prince’s Guard, and come face to face with Auguste. He dismounted from his horse, looping its reins over the cracked stone column of an overgrown pillar. The landscape was old, and the pieces of stone were old; and he remembered this place, remembered the torn soil and the desperation of the fight. Clearing a last jut of stone, he saw the curve of a shoulder in the moonlight, the white of a loose shirt, his outer garments stripped, all wrists and exposed throat. Laurent was sitting on a stone outcrop. His jacket was discarded uncharacteristically. He was sitting on it.

this is a beautifully set scene.

A stone slid under his heel. Laurent turned. For a moment, Laurent looked at him wide-eyed, young, and then the look in his eyes changed, as though the universe had fulfilled an ineluctable promise. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘perfect.’

a moment of surprise and vulnerability, and then practiced cool again. onto Some More Bullshit, i guess

this isn’t the chapter to really tackle this, but i will eventually write a long essay about how laurent goes through his own mini character growth arc, completely off the page, during the lamen divorce era. it’s just that damen has custody of the reader, so we don’t get to see it—only hints, like this moment here. laurent must have had a lot on his mind, too, ever since their last heated conversation. i have some ideas about what that “a lot” might be, but again, i don’t think i’ve gotten quite enough from laurent yet to really start forming a conclusion.

Damen said, ‘I thought you might want—’ ‘Want?’ ‘A friend,’ said Damen. He used Jord’s word. His chest felt tight. ‘If you’d prefer me to leave, I will.’ ‘Why cavil?’ said Laurent. ‘Let’s fuck.’

ON YOUR BROTHER’S FIGURATIVE GRAVE WITH HIS MURDERER????

‘That isn’t what I meant.’ ‘It might not be what you meant, but it’s what you want.’ Laurent said, ‘You want to fuck me.’ Anyone else would have been drunk. Laurent was dangerously sober.

yeah, no, he’s definitely being going through Some Shit on his own. lots of self-loathing, especially due to the fact that he can’t hate damen as much as he knows he should. yearning, more self-loathing because of that yearning. companionship withdrawals, a return to isolation. a revived sense of grief for his brother, and nicaise, and damen (not damianos) and even his relationship with his uncle, who he hadn’t thought would be capable of trying to kill him. hating himself and blaming himself and regretting things he’s done to push people away. just an all-around bad time, but a necessary time of reflection that he needs to experience on his own. damen can’t just swoop in and fix laurent, laurent has to decide that he’s worth saving first. he’s not there yet, clearly, assuming that damen only wants him as a sexual object. whiiiiich was probably why he went so hard on the eroticism with isander easlier, it was an easy victory to get damen hot and bothered. a game he could win, among the many other games he knows he’s losing—especially the ones against himself.

i’ll put together something more coherent before the divorce era ends. tbh, i kinda think this scene should have been a separate chapter, because there is some pretty massive whiplash here. although maybe not, maybe the buildup of emotional and sexual tension was the point. yeah, it was. the slavery stuff just made it more frustrating to read. never mind.

‘You’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. Since Nesson.’ He knew this mood. He should have expected it. He made himself say the words. ‘I came because I thought you might want to talk.’ ‘Not particularly.’

it almost sounds like laurent played himself, for the millionth time, by getting himself worked up with isander when he just really wanted damen

He said, ‘About your brother.’ ‘I never fucked my brother,’ said Laurent, with a strange edge to the words. ‘That is incest.’ They were standing in the place where his brother had died. With a disorientating sensation Damen realised they weren’t going to talk about that. They were going to talk about this.

"yes, honey..."

‘You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.’ ‘Why?’ said Laurent. ‘Was I that good?’ ‘No. You fucked like a virgin,’ said Damen,

deserved

‘half the time. The rest of the time—’ ‘Like I knew what to do?’ ‘Like you knew what you were used to.’ He saw the words impact. Laurent swayed, like he’d been dealt a blow. Laurent said, ‘I’m not certain I can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment.’

oh well this is particularly horrifying with [redacted] context. also i think the quote “i’m not certain i can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment” says A LOT about how laurent has always viewed damen, for better or for worse. laurent can count on damen to tell him what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. so it makes sense that he’s been avoiding damen lately, because laurent is going through his own crisis of personal reflection

Damen said, ‘I don’t prefer sophistication in bed, if you were wondering.’ ‘That’s right,’ said Laurent. ‘You like it simple.’ All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.

is “that” just laurent making fun of the way damen is earnest in bed? seems like an overreaction from damen if that's the case, so it’s probably something else i’m missing. maybe laurent is accusing damen of keeping the secret of his identity, even when they fucked, to make things simpler between them? that would support my previous theory that laurent is convinced that damen wouldn’t want him how he really is, as damen really is, with all the complications between them. or it’s a dig about auguste somehow, and i just can’t figure out how it connects.

‘He died well,’ Damen made himself say. ‘He fought better than any man I’ve known. It was a fair fight, and he felt no pain. The end was quick.’

like i said—what laurent needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. even if damen thinks that it’s going to make laurent hate him more, he still has the integrity to say it.

‘You sent your men out to look for me too?’ said Laurent, his mouth twisting. ‘No,’ said Damen, and pushed Laurent hard out of sight, into the shelter of one of the huge, crumbling blocks of stone. In the next second, the troop was on them, at least two hundred men, so that the air was thick with the passage of horses. Damen pressed Laurent firmly into the rock, and held him in place with his body. The riders didn’t slow, even on this uncertain ground in the dark, and any man in their path would be trampled, tumbled, kicked from hoof to hoof. Discovery was a real threat, the rock cool under his palms, the dark shuddering with the pounding of hooves and heavy lethal horseflesh. He could feel Laurent against him, the barely contained tension, adrenalin mixed with his dislike of the proximity, the urge in him to prise himself out and away, stifled by necessity.

throwback <3 i think this is very intentionally placed in this conversation, as a reminder that they are the same people they were in prince’s gambit

‘I know you’re not cold,’ said Damen. ‘You weren’t cold when you ordered me tied to the post. You weren’t cold when you pushed me down on your bed.’

more true things laurent does not want to hear right now! also i like the use of warmth, as the opposite of cold, to signify both vengeful rage and romantic/sexual passion. two sides of the same coin

‘A fair fight?’ said Laurent, turning back to him. ‘No fight’s ever fair. Someone’s always stronger.’

rewinding to their previous argument. aren’t they both tired? i’m tired.

[anonymousewrites]

Logos and Pathos (AOS Edition) Chapter Three

AOS! Spock x Empath! Reader

Chapter Three: After the Academy

Summary: (Y/N) and Spock have become friends and run a simulation for a very strange cadet, Cadet Kirk.

            “Cadet Kirk is trying the Kobayashi Maru again?” said (Y/N), walking towards the testing observation room with Spock. “This is the third time.”

            A few years had passed since their first meeting. Spock and (Y/N) had, surprisingly, become friends. Well, it had been a surprise to everyone else, but to them, it made perfect sense. (Y/N) could sense emotions, yes, but they were very logical and intelligent. Spock respected that. And because Spock saw beyond the labels others had put on them, (Y/N) respected him. The two were known for working very well together and being an efficient, effective team.

            “It appears so,” said Spock. “He still has not understood the true test of the program.”

            (Y/N) sighed and shook their head. “He gets frustrated, not scared. He has the intelligence and resourcefulness to do well—after all, he started a year after Uhura but caught up—but this is the one thing he hasn’t understood yet.”

            Spock nodded in agreement. “Perhaps a third loss will teach him the psychological lesson.”

            “Well, psychologically speaking, I have to admit, he’s tenacious,” said (Y/N). “Not a terrible quality.”

            “We shall see what other qualities he displays this time,” said Spock.

l

            “We are receiving a distress signal from the U.S.S. Kobayashi Maru,” said Uhura, voice bored with the redundant situation she’d been put in since Kirk wanted to try the test for the third time. “This ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them.”

            “ ‘Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them, Captain,’ ” said Kirk from his place on the fake bridge.

            “I believe the human word for this bravado is ‘cocky,’ ” said Spock from behind the observation glass.

            “That would be the common vernacular,” agreed (Y/N). “And his emotions confirm it.” They cocked their head. “Strange, though. He doesn’t seem worried about the results of this test at all.”

            “Could it be he’s desensitized to failure now?” said Spock, considering the options.

            “His had less anxiety the second time he took the test, just more frustration,” said (Y/N). “But he has absolutely none now. That doesn’t seem likely. He should still have some worry about failing.”

            “Hm.” Spock laced his fingers and gazed at the test as it continued. “Let me know if his feelings change.”

            “Do you think he’s up to something?” asked (Y/N).

            “I do not jump to conclusions. I need more facts to make any educated hypotheses,” said Spock.

            “You’re making a guess,” said (Y/N).

            “No, it’s an educated hypothesis,” said Spock.

            (Y/N)’s smiled in amusement and shook their head.

            “Two Klingon vessels have entered the neutral zone and are locking weapons on us,” said Bones—real name Leonard McCoy—another cadet in his final year and a friend of Kirk.

            “That’s okay,” said Kirk confidently.

            “That’s okay?” repeated Bones incredulously.

            “Yeah, don’t worry about that,” said Kirk, leaning back in his chair.

            “Did he say, ‘don’t worry about it?’ ” said another test operator.

            “Is he not taking the simulation seriously?” said a third.

            “He’s…amused,” said (Y/N), blinking. “And happy.” They crossed their arms. “Put that together, and he’s gloating.”

            “Gloating?” repeated Spock, furrowing his brow ever-so-slightly.

            (Y/N) and Spock had the same thought. What could Kirk be gloating about?

            “Three more Klingon warbirds decloaking and targeting out ship.” Bones looked back at Kirk and sarcastically added, “I don’t suppose this is a problem, either.”

            “They’re firing, Captain,” warned another cadet.

            “Alert medical Bay to prepare to receive all crew members from the damaged ship,” said Kirk, calm and nonchalant as ever.

            “And do you expect us to rescue them when we’re surrounded by Klingons, ‘Captain?’ ” pointed out Uhura.

            Kirk just spun around in his chair. “Alert Medical.”

            “Our ship is being hit. Shields at sixty percent,” warned Bones.

            “I understand,” said Kirk.

            “Well, should we, I don’t know, fire back?” said Bones.

            “No,” said Kirk, pulling out an apple and taking a bite.

            “Of course not,” muttered Bones.

            The lights on all the displays flickered. (Y/N) frowned. That wasn’t in the program. Spock had it running smoothly. Any glitches were when he improved it and tested it himself. For cadets, it was efficient and timed to perfection.

            “What is this? What’s going on?” wondered the confused test operators.

            “Spock, is this a new part of the test? Equipment failure?” said (Y/N).

            “I would have informed you beforehand. You know that,” said Spock.

            “I do,” said (Y/N). “But then that leaves us the question…what is going on?”

            The computers came back on, and the cadets looked around in confusion before focusing on the readouts (Uhura was the first to concentrate, which (Y/N) noticed proudly).

            “Arm photons. Prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds,” said Kirk.

            “Yes, sir,” said a cadet.

            “Jim, their shields are still up,” said Bones.

            Kirk took a bite of his apple. “Are they?” His amusement grew.

            Bones turned to look at his readout, and his face fell into an expression of shock. “No, they’re not.”

            “Fire on all enemy ships,” ordered Kirk cheerfully. “One photon each should do. Let’s not waste ammunition.”

            “Target locked and acquired on all warbirds. Firing,” said another cadet.

            On the displays, the Klingon warbirds exploded as they were hit by photons. Kirk mimed pistols as he chewed his apple.

            “All ships destroyed, Captain,” said Uhura in a mix of being impressed, frustrated, and shocked.

            Kirk stood up. “So, we have managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one onboard was injured, and the successful rescue of the Kobyashi Maru crew is underway.” He took another bite of apple and looked at the test operators smugly.

            “How the hell did that kid beat your test?” said an operator, turning to question the programmer himself.

            “I do not know,” said Spock.

            (Y/N) didn’t need to sense his emotions to know he was frustrated. Spock didn’t like not knowing.

l

            “It isn’t possible to beat your test. It’s designed to demonstrate failure,” said (Y/N).

            “And yet Cadet Kirk did,” said Spock. “I don’t believe there is a flaw in the current program, but I must investigate every possibility.” He was running through the code as they spoke. “There.” He tapped on the code. “A subroutine. Recently installed.”

            “I suspect—hypothesize—it was by Kirk,” said (Y/N). “He wasn’t surprised by the change in the test and wasn’t worried beforehand. That suggests he knew about it.” They crossed their arms. “It was clever, but it’s cheating.”

            “Indeed,” said Spock, nodding.

            Between his discovery of the subroutine and (Y/N)’s deductions—which made logical sense even from their empathic observations—they had all the evidence they needed to convene a hearing. Spock was fortunate to have (Y/N) as his partner in his work. Their skill and hard work made everything easier. Better.

            “We should go and submit our claim, then,” said (Y/N), turning to leave.

            “(L/N),” said Spock. “Thank you for your assistance. You did not need to stay after the test while I examined the code, but you helped my conclusions with your observations.”

            “Of course, Spock,” said (Y/N), smiling. Their chest warmed at Spock’s thanks. “You’re my friend. I wanted to support you since people were doubting your work. Wrongfully, but still.”

            “Your support was appreciated,” said Spock, nodding.

            “It was no problem,” said (Y/N), smiling. “But Spock, come on, I’ve told you to call me ‘(Y/N).’ ”

            “It isn’t formal,” said Spock.

            “We’re friends,” said (Y/N). “That isn’t formal.” They grinned and started the walk out of the room.

            Spock paused a moment before following. There was nothing to argue there. Spock and (Y/N) were friends.

l

            “This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter,” said the head of the disciplinary committee, still Barnett.

            This time, everyone had been called to the hearing, likely because this situation was much more egregious for the academy as a whole. Cheating was unacceptable. Cadets whispered to one another, but the murmurs quieted as the head of the committee spoke. (Y/N) sat beside Spock, reading for the hearing to begin.

            “James T. Kirk, step forward,” said Barnett.

            All heads went to the cadet in question, whose face fell. Kirk stood and walked down to face the committee like (Y/N) had years ago.

            “Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet code,” continued Barnett. “Is there anything you care to say before you begin, sir?”

            “Yes, I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly,” said Kirk.

            The head of committee looked at (Y/N) and Spock and nodded to them. They rose, and (Y/N) felt the ripple of surprise from those that knew of (Y/N) and Spock.

            “Step forward,” said Barnett.

            Spock and (Y/N) headed down to the other podium at the center of the hearing room.

            “This is Commander Spock and Lieutenant Commander (L/N). They are two of our most distinguished graduates,” explained Barnett. “Commander Spock has programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last four years. Lieutenant (L/N) currently works with psychics in the Academy.” He looked at Spock and (Y/N). “State your case.”

            “Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test,” said Spock.

            “You are undoubtedly the culprit since you requested the third test and had no surprise when the test changed. You knew it was coming from the beginning,” said (Y/N). “No nerves, no surprise.”

            “Your point being?” said Kirk.

            “In academic vernacular, you cheated,” said Barnett.

            Kirk didn’t back down from the sharp down. “Let me ask you something I think we all know the answer to: the test itself is a cheat, isn’t it? I mean, you programmed it to be unwinnable.”

            “Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario,” said Spock.

            “I don’t believe in no win scenarios,” said Kirk firmly.

            “Then not only did you violate the rules, but you failed to understand the principal lesson,” said Spock.

            What a repartee, thought (Y/N).

            “Please, enlighten me,” said Kirk.

            “You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk, a captain cannot cheat death,” said Spock. The reference to Kirk’s father was clear.

            Kirk swallowed, and (Y/N) felt the pressure of profound grief wave over them.

            “I of all people?” he said.

            “Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?” said Spock.

            Spock, that was a low blow, thought (Y/N), giving him a look.

            Spock noticed it and avoided their gaze. He never liked when they were upset at him.

            “I don’t think you like the fact that I beat your test,” said Kirk, his sadness sharpening to anger.

            “Cadet Kirk,” said (Y/N). “You didn’t beat the test. You failed to learn its lesson. Three times now. It’s not about beating it or failing it.”

            “What is it about then?” said Kirk.

            “Fear,” said (Y/N) simply. “A captain must learn to face fear and handle themself accordingly. You have to learn to control yourself, your ship, and your crew even when afraid.”

            Silence fell over the room as Kirk processed those words.

            “Excuse me, sir,” said an officer, walking in from outside the chamber. He broke the quiet tension. He walked up with a report to Barnett.

            Worry clouded his aura, and (Y/N) frowned. Barnett’s emotions changed to concern and confusion, and (Y/N) tensed. Something was going on.

            “We have received a distress call from Vulcan,” said Barnett.

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and Spock straightened. His expression didn’t change, but they had known him long enough to see he was concerned. It was his home.

        ��   “With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby report all cadets to report to Hangar One immediately,” said Barnett. He stood. “Dismissed.”

            Everyone followed suit and rushed towards Hangar One. Spock was the first one to begin moving, and (Y/N) hurried after him.

            “Are you alright?” they asked.

            “I must ensure my assigned ship is well-staffed for the trip to Vulcan,” said Spock. “Then I—we—can handle the distress call.”

            (Y/N) nodded. He was focusing on the issue at hand. That was Spock’s way of dealing with problems.

            “Whatever ship I’m on, I’ll do the same. We’ll be able to face this,” said (Y/N) assuredly.

            “You’ll be on the Enterprise as well,” said Spock. “You’re efficient and skilled. You’ll be needed.” And if (Y/N) was with him, if there was trouble, he could keep an eye on them. He didn’t want them to be put in harm’s way where he couldn’t help them.

            “And I’ll do my best,” said (Y/N), smiling at Spock. “I can help with staffing so it’s not all on your shoulders.”

            Spock nodded. He was glad (Y/N) always concentrated on the tasks at hand. They were an excellent officer. “You handle communications and command. I’ll handle medical staff and science officers.”

            “Spock,” said (Y/N), pausing. He stopped, and (Y/N) touched his arm gently, supportively. “Whatever’s happening, I’m with you, alright? I’m here to help.”

            Spock looked at their hand. There was a subtle warmth from their hand on his arm, and although he knew they would never use their abilities on him without permission, he felt calmer knowing they were there.

            He nodded. “Thank you, (Y/N).”

            (Y/N) smiled. “Of course, Spock.”

Taglist:

@a-ofzest

@grippleback-galaxy

@genderfluid-anime-goth

@groovy-lady

@im-making-an-effort

@unending-screaming

@h-l-vlovesvintage

@neenieweenie

@keylimeconstellation

@wormwig

@technikerin23

@ilyatan

@nthdarkqueen

@kyalov

[snapscube]

Did you remove "Legend of penny" from the titles of your zelda videos on YouTube?

for a day or so yeah! felt like they were making the titles a bit too long and same-y plus i realized after the fact that it was an incredible similar title format to the BOTW edits on 2ndjerma and i didn’t want to seem like a leech lol

as of today i’ve put them back though! turns out instead of making them feel less samey, removing that part of the title ended up making them just feel very empty and also a lot less instantly recognizable as zelda content/part of the same series. so i’ve elected to say similarities and redundancy be damned, i just removed “The” from the beginning as a very small middle ground :)

[lrgcarter]

Okay,

I've often posted links to my fiction, but I haven't ever written a post explaining what I write. I've always figured "meh, if people read it they read it. If not, then not. Whatevs."

But today the prose is coming tough, so I'm writing this explanation as a free writing/shake it all loose kind of thing.

So, imagine a seventeen year old in the very early 2000s. Tony Blair is prime minister. 9/11 happened less than 12 months ago. It is not currently common for people to have their own internet connection. You use one of the computers scattered randomly around college if you want to ask jeves to look for things online. But he probably won't find anything, because the internet doesn't have much on it yet. Strange times.

And I'm thinking "I enjoy creating shit!"

This creativity came in many forms. Writing lyrics with my friend who knew how to play Every Instrument. Making comics. Writing stories.

And being as I am 17, I am aware that I know jack shit about the world. I also know that I'm trying to figure it out, and it's hard, but day by day I'm getting there, you know?

I'm also starting to see how experimental books can be. I've read Robert Rankin, who like to put poems between each chapter. I'm reading Moby Dick, which swaps between traditional prose and script format and has one chapter that's just a limerick. (Edit: It might not strictly be a limerick. Tiny poem. Whatever, word nerd.) I've discovered Edward Gory, who does so much in so little space and who I could probably ramble on about for ever.

So, I'm particularly focusing on developing my own prose.

And all of these things come together. And I start putting together things to make a children's book.

Why a children's book? Because I'm a teenager who has yet to drown his earlier memories. I can remember what children want. Or at least what I wanted as a child. And the children's material of the time did not seem to be catering for Past Me (Edit: Oh, except for Captain Underpants! I discovered that while revising for my GCSEs. Add that to the inspiration pile).

So, I start sticking together everything I like into one big messy world.

I don't even know the style I'm going for yet. At one point I was going to do the whole thing in the style of Edward Gory. You know, because at that point I was pumping his stuff into my veins.

And then I go to uni, and my friend Chris takes me to the uni writing group, and they seem to like my stuff. Which is nice and encouraging. And so I keep writing from there.

Fast forward 20 years.

The world has changed. A lot. And in some other ways, not at all.

My work has not been published. No worries. I understand. I've had some very nice rejection letters. I'm painfully aware of its flaws.

Also, the world changing, and me doubling my age, means that what I want to write has changed.

My old stories are about a kid trying to work out what the world is all about. I had this idea that there is enough strange and fantastical shit in the world that you don't need to go through a wardrobe or whatever to find a fantasy land. My original aim was to write an exaggerated version of the real world with any differences being because it was "just a few years in the future, after a load of stuff has changed."

But since then the world has changed. And some of the stuff in my stories is now redundant. And plenty of it has been done better by others in the meantime. And I'm now working on new stuff that better reflects where I currently am as a person and as a writer.

But at the start of the ongoing pandemic I made myself a website. And I needed content. So I dusted off the first few old stories and threw them online. Where you can read them!

And at some point I'll dust off the next in the series. Book 3 needs a lot of work though, which is why it isn't already there. That story is set in a school and remembering that part of my childhood opened up waaay too many mind doors. So while the first stories have been through 20 years of drafting and refinement, book 3 is basically still in its first draft format. Which is a shame, because I'm really happy with book 4 and want to put that out one day. So if none of the rest of the series ever sees the light of day, I will get book 3 revised and put 3 and 4 on my site.

One day.

In the mean time, please check out my stories if you would like to see some metaphorical pictures of me as an embarrassing youth.

[psi-ness]

here in the el noli fandom, i like to excel in making content no one ever asks for, so in this episode, i am going to compare

translations of macaraig's introduction across english translations !!!

will we find a winner? who knows, honestly please don't take this so seriously, i just want an excuse to gush over him !!

disclaimer: i am only judging based from vibes and how comprehensible it is, i cannot judge based on how faithful it is to jose rizal's original writing because i don't know spanish

starting off with the translation i had for the longest time, the penguin classics edition of el fili, translated by harold augenbraum

1.) harold augenbraum

rating - 4/10

- it's ok... i think because it's what i'm most familiar with, it made sense at first and sounded pretty, even, but compared to other english translations it just falls flat

- if your vocabulary is lacking, so many phrases here just don't make sense. what does "ardent casuists in the university cloister as a dialectician" mean. what the fuck is a "happy youthful acquaintance"

- continental gallant sounds kinda hot at least. i assume it means he acts like a european gentleman because continental = europe. at least that's what merriam webster said. it paints a picture in your head that he's very cultured but the wording sounds so colonial mentality haha (oh so europe is more refined/cultured???)

- furthermore if that's what continental gallant means, then that whole sentence is just redundant. "fine manners" "elegant" WE GET IT HE'S BEAUTY HE'S GRACE

- "he occupied just two rooms in the house" is a funny sentence. like yeah he just has two rooms what a loser !! on top of having a servant and a personal cochero 🙄🙄🙄 he's so poor !!

2.) leon ma. guerrero

rating - 6.5/10

- finally the university segment part of the paragraph makes sense

- "reputation for manliness" is a CRAZY phrase, they out here making my man sound like an alpha not that i'm complaining um-

- again with the excessively fancy words: unobtrusive munificence (apparently it means he's generous with money without calling too much attention to himself about it, which seems to be unique to this translation among the ones i've listed here)

- THIS TRANSLATION however gets brownie points for describing macaraig as high-spirited like !!! that is so cute !!! so he's not just a rich gentleman with fine manners but he's also a bubbly and excitable guy??? i NEED him to have my firstborn sorry

- this is a skill issue but i needed to look up what the meaning of gig and groom was in the sentence

3.) charles derbyshire

rating: 7/10

- i appreciate the attempt at diversifying macaraig's description by saying he's "fastidiously dressed" instead of repeating elegant

- so much easier to understand because the words are less fancy/flowery. it's like it's meant to be read by someone LMAO

- robust carriage isn't as clear to me tho. like is this supposed to mean he's a little muscular or fit cuz robust ???? ang sexy talaga ng bebe ko SORRY SORRY

- it probably just means hes healthy and well ❤️ naol

- what can i say. it's very straightforward. gets the job done.

4.) camilo osias

rating - 6/10

- chandelier is so out of left field because all the other translations talked about having a servant or his own kalesa, WHERE DID THE CHANDELIER COME FROM

- "good build" sounds like another attempt at talking about his fit physique and i am here for it i always pictured him to be buff in my head heuehuehdhdj malapit na tayo sa dulo guys onting tiis lang sa pagfafangirl ko 😭😭😭

- it's a decent translation, nothing to write home about. i realize also that this and derbyshire word the modern ideas part as "he is not very far behind" versus other translations that are firm with saying "he is not far behind." the very makes a difference wala lang haha

5.) ma. soledad lacson-locsin

rating - 9/10

- general feedback on lacson-locsin's translation but i appreciate the way she keeps some words that are difficult to translate into english and just footnotes it !! it's sooo helpful

- he sounds delicious, what can i say. even when the elegant part is all redundant

- no confusing words thrown in at all, mwah writing, straightforward writing but still pretty enough for me to feel smart reading it thank you /lh

- also the only translation from here that uses c for his name

- score isnt perfect bc idk, im bad at scoring

- p.s. guys do NOT just google araña you are gonna get pics of spiders di ako natutuwa 🥲🥲🥲

winner: ma. soledad lacson-locsin !! pagpugayan po natin siya 👏👏👏

also as a bonus, here are some commonalities across all translations

- he's rich as FUCK

- macaraig being described as a dialectician (contrary to the root word it's supposed to mean he's good at philosophy and debate)

- has servants, obviously. and two luxuriously furnished bedrooms to himself in the dorm

- he's only studying law to have an academic degree (so he's not studying to be a practicing lawyer?? what does that mean. that's like saying you're taking up medicine just so you can have a license)

- he's beauty, he's grace, i want to kiss him in the face

[daenerysoftarth]

I love how Arianne NEVER imply anything or bring up rumors relating to Myrcella’s alleged illegitimacy in her POV. Arianne wants her crowned as queen of Westeros because an older sister must inherit before her younger brother and because Myrcella is much smarter than what she should be for her age and would make a great queen.

To be fair, it wouldn't serve Arianne's personal political goals to bring up Myrcella's alleged illegitimacy, as it would make her claim to the Throne nonexistent and Arianne's ploy redundant. If she did find out, however, I don't think she'd care that much. In Dorne, there doesn't seem to be as much stigma against children born out of wedlock if the Sand Snakes are any indication. They're treated as Princesses of Dorne in spirit, if not in name. Likewise, while it's not entirely unusual in Westeros for heirs to be raised along 'bastard' siblings or offspring in their respective House seats, it is quite unusual to have the mother living alongside them. If the 'bastards' of noblemen are allowed to live with their Lord fathers, their mothers are typically dismissed back to their homes. However, Oberyn lives with Ellaria Sand in Sunspear and continues to father children with her. They seem to live in a partnership in all except the legal sense, and no one seems to really give a shit.

It's not brought up at all in either Doran, Arianne, or Areo Hotah's pov chapters, nor is the inclusion of the Sand Snakes et al at Sunspear. Though we have limited pov chapters with Doran, it's not mentioned that any of his leal lords have an issue with their presence either. The women seem to enjoy quite a bit of freedom and luxury, and then Nymeria is sent as an envoy to King's Landing to sit on the Council; a position that is unheard for bastards, especially female ones. Once again, the issue of 'bastardry' isn't brought up, and it truly seems to be a non-issue in Dorne. Which would be fitting considering that Dorne relies on inheritance based on age rather than gender, and one of the reasons 'bastards' are so stigmatized is to police women's sexual lives and limit autonomy. If the only power a daughter can offer is getting married, then 'remaining pure' is the primary way you ensure the best 'deal' for her, because her future husband will want unquestioned heirs. Meanwhile, if your daughter is going to serve as heir, then any heirs will go through her and questioning their inheritance is a moot point. With less limits as to women's power, it makes sense that discrimination against illegitimate children would be lessened as well. And again, none of the Dornishmen we've seen thus far seem to give an iota of a shit about illegitimacy. The Sand Snakes feel perfectly comfortable sassing Doran, and he barely even stops them.

Like you said, Arianne decides to install Myrcella because she is very smart and already has forged strong relationships in Dorne. If Myrcella were to be Queen, then Dorne would be in a much more auspicious position with King's Landing, especially considering Trystane would be the King Consort and House Martell would be Myrcella's in-laws. She would be much less likely to start a war with her favorite in-laws, and she would perhaps lend Dorne favorable trade conditions.

(Edit: I wrote this ask before reading Arianne’s chapters in the TWOW sample and some of my thoughts have changed.)

[sodomhipped]

22, 44, 66

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

every time i say that i won't do a particular thing, i end up writing that exact thing shortly after! i like to test myself by trying new tropes/styles/etc. and this is true for even tropes that have been on my longstanding squick or do not want list.

that being said, there's definitely an area where i am most comfortable and tend to write more often (quiet angsty introspective quasi-pwp pieces where not a lot happens haha).

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

oh so many things. i actually have a pre-publication list of self-editing items to do (that i sometimes forget). some of the most common issues:

filler words (particularly "just" and "only")

redundancies (once my brain decides a word or phrase works i can't seem to stop using it)

and then there are a list of words my beta has banned because i use them willy-nilly in every story (top of this list is "enjoy")

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

i'm getting so much better about this. last year, i published 113k words and had tens of thousands in additional unpublished drafts. this year, i am writing between 0-300 words a day, with most days being more towards 0 due to real life obligations. it was really getting to me at first. but then i started asking myself why.

why does it matter that i haven't published anything since january? i'm still writing. i'm still having fun. and i'm knocking out obligations that need to be done elsewhere.

so i think that's the key: fandom is about having fun at the end of the day. some years i will write more and some i will write less. and it doesn't really matter.

[writing meme here]

[mediaflamingoos]

Death of the Books by Erica Kot

Literature would probably never die. With enough people, there will always be new stories made and old stories retold. However, the medium carrying it may. With the advent of the internet, there have been a lot of books and novels that have been moved from paper to screen. Budding artists and writers are taking advantage of the lack of a publishing cost and more publishing freedom to show their works to the public. While this means that there’s more people and therefore more works, does that mean that traditional books have gotten obsolete? I think not.

Firstly, consider the book. The book is a tangible thing, meaning that physical touch is possible. Although it may not be as convenient to take the books with the person, especially when one has many books, it feels (to me, at least), a lot more satisfying. It’s a completely different feeling, and science also backs this.The tactile feeling means that you’re more likely to absorb more information because of the memory association. It’s actually also harder for you to get distracted from the book, since the internet is farther away and things like keywords are less likely to distract the reader.

Secondly, consider the process. Publishing a book is actually a lot harder than it seems. There are multiple edits from draft to book. It’s not as if online works are inferior. There are indeed some very good online series out there, but then a work being able to be published is its own seal of approval, making it so that there is at least a certain quality to the work.

Therefore, I don’t think that books will become redundant. Sure, webnovels and webcomics are very nice, but I think books will still be able to stay relevant in their niche for at least a little while longer.

(305 words)

[having-gude-times]

internet addiction and coping with it

Hey all, probably the only post I'll ever make on here, since I'm just here to keep track of friends.

Anyways, something that I wanted to share was how I coped with my internet/electronics addiction. I'm putting this out into the void, I know, but maybe someone who has this too will find this? Also disclaimer, english isn't my first language, so some things may be worded weirdly. Sorry!

For the longest time, I've struggled a lot with being online. It was a coping mechanism, giving me a small respite from everything that plagued me in real life. It was fun, at first, finding all these different things and websites and making new friends and connecting! But as time went on, it became a second source of anxiety and depression that became both better and worse as I stayed online.

I'm not an expert in either science or medicine, but the internet (and to some extent, electronics in general. I'm talking phones, computers, consoles, TV, etc.) is addictive because of these constant dopamine rushes, and without those dopamine rushes, everything else seems bleak. Similiar to some drugs, I'd say, but far less physically dangerous ofc (though the mental is still harmed). News cycles and social media thrive on outrage and giving strong emotional reactions, which is definitely not good for the human psyche.

Like any other addiction (or at least, most), the best way is to just go cold turkey. It's what worked for me, and that's how I'm doing so much better mentally than just a few years ago. Deleted every account I had, uninstalled every game and app, even put my phone on simple mode so that I'd only have access to the bare necessities.

It was hard at first, but it got better within just a week already! Coping with this stop is the most important, and I'll just share my method down below. It doesn't work for everyone, you may need to adapt some things so that it fits your life, but some friends have told me they're overall good tips.

Delete every social media. the most obvious one, I know, but that first step is the most important.

Set yourself a daily timer (10 minutes for me) for essential online activities, like checking emails and the sort. Browser extensions are good for keeping track of that.

If you're a gamer, try only keeping the most essential games, though be wary because this can quickly turn into a gaming addiction!

Get a manual hobby. Doing things with your hands is important! Just like you would with children, spending time on doing things with your own hands helps recalibrate your brain and dopamine. Into edits and pinterest boards? Do collages, scrapbooking, journaling! Cut up magazines and journals, get some cute stickers (and while it's redundant, scour online for images) and get to cutting and having fun. Into writing? Write down things in a notebook! Embroidery, knitting and crocheting are good for keeping yourself focused. Pop on some music and relax. Learn how to cook or bake! Keeping your brain and hands busy are essential for getting rid of that addiction.

Join a social program or volunteer! In my town, I can either keep company to the elderly or help autistic children socialise at their own pace. Programs like these are essential for filling that connection aspect of social media that you've now cut off, and the elderly always have the most fascinating things to say.

Then, hopefully, you'll be happier. Maybe you'll be like me, and make just one single account to see what's going on. And maybe you'll be stronger, and ditch forever the internet. Even if you relapse, it's no use villainising yourself. Simply get back on track as soon as you can, because beating yourself down won't help you.

I only come online about once a month, so if you have any questions or dms for me, feel free to hit me up, but it'll take a while for me to get back to you!

If you have an internet addiction, hang in there. These steps seem drastic, but they're essential to stop yourself from staying in a painful loop.

[fatefought]

under the cut, you'll find caesar flickerman's afterparty outfits for my muses ! figured i'd throw it under a read more as it's better than spamming the dash five times. anyways back to your scheduled programming !

haymitch finds himself in pinks and florals. not his favorite by any means, but the stylists keep it tame for him. though he wishes it was less, even if effie might want her look to be more over the top. they've begun to match, solidifying a unit amongst the district twelve team.

the first photo is the types of edits that arise of haymitch on reddit later tonight. he may seem smiley, but the editors had to really work to find glimpses of positive expressions on him.

president snow as always prefers a blue and white moment. he appreciates things that are crisp and clean. naturally his outfit includes white roses in his suit pocket, and his dress shoes are heeled.

beetee is often in blacks and blues for any sort of capitol event or hunger games obligation. district three's stylist calls it futuristic, which doesn't make sense to him as outfits in the city look dystopian to the district three native.

ezra klair has been styled for this event by domitila. he likes the leather components. it gets paired with a golden laurel choker. ( please ignore the mixed patterns of the outfit, as i'm picturing the top actually has the same pattern as the bottoms. )

last but not least, we have annie. they dressed her like a sea nymph before her time in the arena, and a mermaid afterwards. district four stylists love a mythological theme, and the sea always end up showcased on her. ( though she only comes to the city every so often so the stylists haven't gotten bored or found it redundant yet. ) annie's hair and makeup will be done like courtney's in that photoshoot.

[fagcrush]

If you're looking for writing critique, i think your biggest issue might be repitition! using the same phrasing really close together + not a lot of variation in sentence structure can make the flow feel really stiff and awkward. For example:

"Would you like me to kiss it better?" The words kind of slipped out stupidly. He almost instantly regretted them but, as he did any time he said something he said something he instantly realized was stupid, played it off smoothly.

the word "stupid" is used in some form twice, instantly twice, and stupidly, smoothly, and instantly have a repeated -ly ending, creating a bit of clutter for such a short paragraph. Alliteration can be great, but it should be more intentional and used to create a specific atmosphere.

vs

"Would you like me to kiss it better?" The words kind of slipped out, sounding like an idiot. He almost instantly regretted them but, as he did any time he said something he said something he realized was stupid, played it off smoothly.

see how the second just flows a bit better without much change? your brain isnt tripping at every repeated phrase, and each part of the sentence has a unique feel.

You could also stand to shave off some filler words! Things like almost, kind of, and some of the middling phrases that come out naturally when we speak can make the narration feel less impactful.

"Would you like me to kiss it better?" The words slipped out. He instantly regretted them but, as he often did, played it off smoothly.

Additionally, phrases like "the words slipped out stupidly" are repetitive: "slipped out" already implies an awkward, unintentional vibe to the dialogue that makes any variation of stupidly/like an idiot redundant. "as he did anytime he realized what he said was stupid" creates that same redundancy with "he instantly regretted it", which already implies the phrase was stupid and he didnt like it.

Trimming helps a lot with clarity! It can feel scary to watch your word count go down, but taking a second and third pass at editing, trimming off and rearranging your sentences to see what makes the most sense and provides the smoothest read can really help!

(of course, there are times where cluttered, awkward, or nervous-seeming narration can help build atmosphere, but just as a general rule)

Sorry if this seems like a lot! I really, really love editing haha, its my favourite part of the writing process! I hope these tips help, though, and if they do and you ever want a beta reader or some specific help with something youre working on, i would LOVE to help out ^-^

OH SORRY ANON I MEANT TO ANSWER THIS SOONER BUT IM A DUMMY

thank u for the help!!

i do agree reading your edits that like. i do tend to be a bit wordy and awkward at times salkdjflsdkfj thank u again!!!

its def not a lot and sorry for not coming up w a longer reply but!!

[bigthingsforeverintheworks]

Ok I almost took a media literacy L here before I decided to check out their website. First off it is just a publishing company, they're not writing them with AI or writing them at all.

The core business model is that you pay them a (relatively small, starting at $1500 dollars, they say up to $5000) sum of money up front and then they publish it, and you get all of the royalties, and much quicker than normal at that. Now that may seem odd, how are they making money from this?

Luckily their website has a list of famous company names

no clue what that means but those sure are companies (they do say on a different webpage that these are places they have "appeared in". Always glad to see that a company has articles that were made about it.

They have this testimony and yep the book sure does exist and was published by these guys, you can buy it from 6 different sites (none of them have any reviews but some have a preview and I mean. it looks fine, I don't know a lot about it but it doesn't seem that good on first glance).

So what they do is:

Proofreading (there's an option to get a human to do it for a "small extra fee", no numbers are given), this seems fine enough although I'm sure a human could do it. But weirdly enough they have this testimonial

First off this guy is talking about editing not proofreading which. kind of weird. But also it's just one of those things where like. Granted I haven't published a book but generally my understanding is editors are not evil and these types of people tend to be too protective of their work. Also this is just digging at traditional publishing.

2. AI design covers for you

Sure why not. I mean it won't be as good & you're not paying artists but whatever.

Stunning picture of a guy who discovered what AI does

3. They make AI audiobook & does advertising/printing (unclear if you need to pay for this)

Now looking at their blog-posts. First off we see this wonderful one where they explain how online publishers work.

Hm. Any conflict of interest there? This is a relatively standard practice (at least among tech companies) to put your own product in the same "objective" stance.

Anyhow they also have one about AI publishers.

Shockingly they're talking about it from a "make the numbers gooder" perspective but it's fine (besides the part where they don't link their sources but ok). They do keep talking about how editing in a way that makes it just seem like "that thing you do where you pay a company money and then they let you publish it" instead of a process wherein another person tries to help you improve the book.

A lot of it is just stuff where I have to either take their word on it or not.

Like ok optimizing a book for marketability is already on the wrong track but if i wanted to do so is AI the right place for that? Who knows. I do have a suspicion these articles are written by AI not just based on the AI-generated images

(look at the keyboards) but the redundancy and their classic list format does make it seem somewhat likely, Granted they do have human authors listed & I'm not really that interested in AI-vestigating companies but worth noting.

As for the article screenshotted in the original post, https://www.thebookseller.com/news/new-publisher-spines-aims-to-disrupt-industry-by-using-ai-to-publish-8000-books-in-2025-alone

For the record they were already in publishing before shifting to AI

And... they just seemingly don't get the point? Or they view all of these professions as just obstacles to the core essence of the book. But this is pretty clearly a non-answer.

Now for how they make money.

let's do some quick math. We assume they have 6 books at 20 ratings each, and 1 in 5 people leaves a review. Each book costs around 15 dollars (based on looking up one of the book's prices). That means they make 9000 dollars. (Probably less given the book sellers take a cut) but still that would be a decent profit for the author. Except I don't know where the 100% royalties they boast comes from. On their terms and service they say this:

and this is only when you earn more than $25 in a certain period (the period gets shorter as you pay them more)

But don't worry about literally anything financial that's not the point!

"I want to help bring books to the masses" yeah that's what publishing does. Ok but he means writing books as a hobby and/or legacy, same thing. Well no the writing you do on your own it's the publishing. Because the physical copies are very necessary. Like I don't know if i'm in the minority but I'd rather read a free PDF than buy something with an AI-generated cover, and if authors don't care about profit then they should too.

This guardian article has points about how it actually works & its similarities to existing types of publishing.

Initial reactions that still hold:

Why that image?

Why are they called Spine?

What are they even disrupting?

Things that don't really hold: Oh ew they're writing 8000 books with AI? Why?

Things I'm mixed on:

Anything about the actual humans; they do actually employ as of now 15 people who provide some services (e.g. a production manager) but also their goal is mostly to replace the traditional humans (who they view with disdain) with as much AI as possible before it becomes bad

Everyone involved in this should be catapulted into the sun.

A new publisher plans to churn out 8000 books in 2025 using AI. Everything about this from the massive waste of energy to the absence of any creative curiosity is utterly fucking depressing.

[forzahorizon2fullpc]

Forza Horizon 2 Games for PC

Forza Horizon 1 & 2 Online Services Closure

You're required to meet a lot of like-minded persons to talk about the Horizon adventure with. Online Freeroam makes it possible for anyone in addition to several additional gamblers to widely compete in a Horizon consequences associated with your own pick out. The On the web Road Excursion permits you as well as a gaggle of new gamblers for you to compete against 1 another while travelling all over European union as well as competing in a variety of occasion. For taking a photo, stop the experience then go for the Photograph Function tile for the Household tabs. Every time anyone create a photo of a new car, the Horizon Festivity PR crew prize people with Honor.

To start a celebration, drive to a celebration service, pick the settings, with lose time waiting for different gamblers to join. Beat as a result of walls onto back region grime treks, plow however spheres involving scalps as well as heavy forests, along with discover brand new shortcuts upon the thrilling, high-speed voyages. Acquire attempts as well as acquire incentives for showing off the take talents in addition to model. Forza Horizon 2 becomes a smaller amount simulation focused than Forza 5, nevertheless it still have got a lot of realism and also tuning choices pertaining to detailed-oriented battle lovers. Relaxed racers like me personally could clearly run and possess an incredible time period because of the ability to toggle the collection involving passion aids like racing guides and also a rewind work.

The obviously a activity that will wants you to definitely earn, generate, earn to help you devote, spend, invest, although while using the exact top car or truck priced to the thousand, you’ll ought to spend less significantly as a way to acquire powering the circle. The idea likely to certainly be a hard season with regard to battle match, with sim hopeful Project Autos, dedicated on the web "CarPG" The Crew afterward the group score-attack involving DriveClub almost all jostling regarding focus. Horizon 2 places a intimidatingly large except for all games to meet up with about every front, however in a single part it seems unbeatable.

Pending the second phases several other motorists end up being ever before consistent enough to give you an authentic struggle from the champion, consequently somebody in search of more of your challenge ought to go out rewinds as well as button about whole destruction. Despite realising complete properly the auto in the front isn’t really ending up being powered in Stuff‘s assessments manager Tom Parsons I even can’t service yet desire to overcom that a lot more than if it absolutely was perfectly several nameless drone.

Populating single-player with realistic motorists (as their issues you can change from the Settings) is great, nevertheless the rivals system fewer consequently. When you carry out a rush, the overall game inquires if you'd choose to run a similar battle yet again against an individual rival Drivatar. Replicating exactly the same event experiences redundant, specially when the XP and Recognition incentives pertaining to rival races paler when compared with standard celebrations. You possibly can additionally obstacle any drivatar anyone knowledge while totally free roaming, yet once again, it's generally unnecessary on account of the inadequate pays back.

Forza Horizon 2/Day 1 Edition

Experience occur linked with car or truck sorts – super vehicles, lean muscle car or truck, SUVs along with the like – also it solely takes in 15 challenges to help achieve one more platform from the brave. Nonetheless, with practically 170 tournaments containing completely beneath 700 functions, there’s a misery of any group to complete despite you’ve range the culmination – as well as most satisfying if similar by means of character. Forza Horizon 2 incorporates over 700 celebrations, while using calculation associated with barrier-less combination land races that let up to 12 gamblers to help play a part. Forza’s managing feels almost sleek by path, yet run on the will get as well as dust and it also feels floaty and difficult to manage. This really is intensified because of the occasion design and style itself, that requires correct manage for you to steer by means of unforgivably narrow checkpoint living space. It’s a lot in a situation involving tribunal and error while using rewind button, which often grows to be annoying once your AI challengers face simply no care in any respect while winding during every course. As you could anticipate, Forza Horizon 2's 50 Achievements typically entail finishing every one of the Titles, appeal in every highway, learn all the vintages, etc.

The one graphic issue I really could do may be the rare pop-in associated with pavement leaves any time sink at peak swiftnesses. Considerably of that independence entails checking out the synthetic European country. You possibly can send all over over 300 special ways, as a result of area, beyond adventures, connects, an international airport, plus much more. Spread throughout the chart end up being numerous varieties of valuables to find, including symptoms to breach for XP or "quickly take a trip" reductions, as well as sheds. Each time you get a whole new barn, you'll encounter and also unlock a new free car or truck on the inside this. In search of these vintage accomplishes sense that a undertaking, both, given that search can be a high perhaps the game's appeal.

Luckily, Forza Horizon 2 (like Forza 5) employs the energy from the foriegn to build Drivatars – AI motorist accounts – using the battle styles of precise gamblers. As you cruise the boulevard in addition to terrain connected with Horizon 2, you'll expertise AI story of your current real Xbox Reside buddies along with participants. Simply yesterday, I competed in opposition to WPCentral's newest employees member, Jonathan. Make XP gets and varied, now mentioning a a lot more fleshed out there skill-based logic to prizes an individual with driver tips with regard to drifting, close to misses, write, getting older air flow and much more. As you drive you’ll encourage your current complete even, increase livens for an haphazard progress shrub and also whirl the Wheelspin, a arbitrary blessed drop obtainable each time anyone aim way up. Bury yourself in a great, wide-open planet taken someone's in stunning details. Each time an individual levels upwards you’ll walk a Forza Horizon 2 PC Download Horizon Wheelspin – a virtual berries robot to suggests prizes associated with any beliefs or maybe another autos. All around seven times period outside of 10 it is the past however after they many go away towards obtaining brand new wheels at any rate, who’s protesting? Your own Drivatar may also bank account credit ratings to suit your needs even if ones Xbox is gone sour. While you'll be able to miss out on titles in addition to taste some thing special, it seems like far more of a struggle and far additional restrictive when compared to released with effortless method undertaken with the first. The main Forza Horizon became the perfect appearing in concert off the elements that make an excellent competition sport. In order to uncover the Horizon Final anyone need to confirm yourself simply by success quite a few Champions on your way Excursion. After you do this, Ben will certainly concern someone to get a final line and also unlock its own opportunity… Once you gather a Store Locate rumor, utilize the color area in your own drawing in order to channel your own seek out the car. When observed, Ashley, the Festivity Mechanic, will bring back the vehicle for you without any fee.