#and with longfics i mean i do have to say most of them in my head already have plots decades ahead from the starting point

[beastsovrevelation]

I do wish I was more active, with original posts, not just reblogs, but most of what I have to say is about my fics... That aren't upload-ready at all.

[openphrase123]

so i've got three fics that are in what i call "long outline" stage, where a couple chapters are written and the rest is all/mostly plotted out. when i'm done with curtain call i'll probably wait a month or so and then start posting one of them but i Cannot Decide which one to start with. i want to write all of these at some point but i need a Starting Point. please advise. i have decision fatigue

i elaborate on all the options below so if you need to be Sold on any of these keep scrolling. but also if you want maximum chaos and surprise just vote without expanding >:3

no nuance button no chef's choice button. if the chef had a choice he would have choosened it by now. i'm Indecisive please help

propaganda for all the options under the cut

the 20 years later fic is so messy i can't overstate it. i mean that in a good way. very popcorn drama. siffrin and loop haven't seen each other in 20 years but they need to figure out who in the family is harboring a secret regret that's trapping them in a new loop. everyone's over their problems from canon but i give them all NEW problems like osteoporosis and work-life imbalances. bonnie's the only one who ever went to real therapy in two decades and it Shows

the isabeau timeloop fic is probably the most angst out of the three of these??? but it's not a walking sadfest i know how to balance the vibes. it's not Primarily a romance fic but let's face it gamers. this is an isabeau pov. it's like 40% gay longing and you know this. the other 60% tries to solve the question of "would siffrin still be trapped in the loops if they told literally anyone about them at any time" and with the power of miscommunication and self sabotage. i'm pleased to say that answer is YES

the loop one is very prince-and-the-pauper to me. it's set in 1hat in a playthrough of isat that ended on a low loop number. this is both the healthiest and most toxic way for loop to heal postcanon in my heart. siffrin is not here this is NOT about him. he's fine though. it's just that i categorically don't think loop could heal and move on from the loops if siffrin's right over their shoulder being like "hiii do you want to Talk" no you have to TRAP loop into therapy

if you're reading this and going "all of these sound absolutely insane what are you doing" i'm doing My Best <3 all of them have the same general tone as my other fics so if you're like "i like that idea but that sounds too depressing" FEAR NOT. it's the exact same amount of depressing as curtain call and/or inutile

[fangswbenefits]

ruby i need help writing sexy smut please

Okay! This one might be long, so buckle up:

(also, this is just my personal preference and how I approach smut)

I like to separate smut into two categories: the emotionally charged one and the more technical/physical one.

Ideally, you'd want around 50/50 of each, but that will always depend on what you're trying to achieve.

Example:

- When I write oneshots, I tend to go for the physicality of it as I'm usually exploring tropes/kinks in under 3k words. I will describe what's going on with their bodies and how they explore each other physically and react to thos (possibly) new kink. This is not to say my oneshots are void of emotions from whichever character's POV I choose. I still dive briefly into their emotions as a means to contextualise the scene and set the pace. I'd say it's around 80/20.

- For longfics (such as The Arrangement), it's paramount that I prioritise emotions and feelings while pairing it with the act itself. Since I'm writing from Tav's POV, it's important to show readers how she feels about them being together so intimately again. And I don't mean how she feels about having his fingers inside her, for example, but rather how the entire moment feels. It's about exploring body and mind, if you will. I try to keep it at 50/50, but it depends on the context of the scene itself.

Now, with that out of the way: more is more. Describe everything that feels appropriate. Sure, if you just mean to rush through the scene, there is no need and no one will dislike it for it. But if you want that added layer of emersion (which, to me, is essential) then you should try to describe the act itself.

Case in point:

- He undid your shirt and gazed at the exposed skin.

vs

- His fingers moved to the top button of your shirt, undoing it slowly as his hand travelled down your torso, working on exposing your flushed skin to his prying gaze with each expert tug.

See the difference? Which one do you enjoy the most? The first example can be used. This is not right vs wrong. I am simply showing how more is more when it comes to smut. Again it will always depend on what you're trying to achieve and how comfortable you feel. Some people just want to rush through the smut scenes.

Hope this helps 🩷

[aithusarosekiller]

HGIHIHIII U SEEM NICE AND ALSO COOL SO HIII :D

DO U HAVE ANY JEGULILY HCS?? I SAW U LIKED THEM IN ANOTHRR POST!!

HI HI HI HI I AM LITERALLY SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY I KEPT HAVING IDEAS THEN GETTING DISTRACTED AND AAAAAAAAA I AM HERE NOW!!!

Yes I absolutely doooooo, they are my babies and I will gladly share everything I think about them don't you even worry!

ALSO before anyone wastes time whining that jily is tagged here, there are literally jily hcs in the post and I always tag correctly so if it bothers you so much, go to settings and filter out the jegulily tag and then it's gone x

OKAY

- I love the idea that Regulus used family heirlooms in order to make promise rings for both of them because his ancestors would absolutely hate it and sometimes he feels like he has to prove that part of his past wrong and keep pushing back to remind himself that who he was brainwashed to be is NOT who he is. It it actually Lily who suggests reusing heirlooms to give them a new meaning as an idea and he decides to do it and use them as a way to promise to spend his life with them. He's a romantic, what can I say! (in fact, in the longfic I'm planning, Lily having the black signet ring is a recurring feature with quite a lot of weight!) despite Regulus being the one with the promise rings, it is Lily who proposes (it is ALWAYS Lily no matter who I ship her with) and then because they're all for equality in their relationship it's James who announces the wedding and asks Lily's parents and Sirius/Narcissa for permission to marry them. I just love married jegulily idk

- Regulily watch the most disturbing shows together in the middle of the night to the point where James has to go to bed early to miss them or he can't sleep. Eventually they convince him to stay downstairs and just listen to music in his earphones while laying across their laps but he refuses to watch the screen. During the day he's the biggest, toughest guy imaginable. Nothing can phase him at all. But after midnight? ABSOLUTELY NOT. He almost turns into a completely different person. It is not helped by the folk tales Fleamont told him as a kid to mess with him, not realising just how much they would stick with him in years to come.

- James cooks dinner, Lily makes dessert, Regulus cleans. You just know Lily makes the best apple pie with the lattice top and everything 🙏 James can do pretty much anything well, and Regulus is decent at both but doesn't really enjoy it so he does all the washing up because he likes the way it gives him time to stare into the water and think

- not much to this one but I love them being T4T4T SOOOOO much! They're the transest trio ever. They just are sorry, I know because I am trans so I'm allowed to spread it around wherever I want 🤷‍♂️

- Lily gets really warm and stressed under too much physical contact. If they're all cuddled together she'll be on the outside with Reg's face in her neck and one of James' hands on her waist but most of the time she'll only pick one of them to cuddle up to so she doesn't get overwhelmed. Regulus is always in the middle, he's touch starved to the point where refusing to hug him is like kicking a puppy

- In an au where their all raise Harry together, he's the biggest mummy's boy. There is NO way Lily isn't his favourite parent. It's always 'where's mum?' 'If mummy was here-' 'I miss mummy' she pretends to feel bad for them both but secretly loves it

- James falls asleep ANYWHERE. It's not rare at all to find him curled up on the floor while sorting laundry or snoozing in the passenger seat on a short drive. He's also a very deep sleeper, so they'll just give him a little kiss on the head, take a photo for the growing collection there saving for his 50th birthday, and cover him with a blanket.

- James and Lily go to concerts together. It's one of their favourite types of date. James and Regulus go to the cinema (Lily got them into films and they have never looked back some) and Regulus and Lily adore going to the theatre. They all like going to museums together.

- for their first anniversary, Peter got them a little orange tree that everyone expected Lily to care for the most bc she'd always been really good in jerbologj so they're all surprised when it becomes Regulus' little baby with only the best fertiliser and plant food that he forces James to get whenever he passes through Diagon.

- Every morning Reg and Lily sit and do the sudoku together

- Whenever James spends time out of the country, he'll bring back something nice for each of his friends and partners (it's his love language!) he puts so much thought into into each one that sometimes he'll dedicate an entire day of the trip to finding the perfect gift for each person

[corviiids]

I really liked your analysis on the “core” of both Joker and Akechi. I agree that neither the detective prince or the black mask “is” Akechi at his core; but rather, he’s fractured. My question to you is, do you think we ever see the “true” Goro Akechi within the canon? It is my opinion that we do likely in Rank 6 just for a little bit and in fragments during the engine room. And by that logic, what do you think the “true” Akechi would be like in a post canon scenario where the DP/BM are gone?

thank you so much and really good question. in my personal opinion we definitely see parts of his sincere self but there's sort of an asterisk attached to that (ill expand) and more importantly even in those truthful moments we never really see the Whole of him because as i said before i don't think his sense of self is really collected enough into a unified whole to be able to show it off even if he wanted to, at least at that point in his life

im like turning this question over in my hands bc im about to go into a bunch of this stuff in the next chapter of my longfic and i dont want to just say the same thing twice, but basically (this time it isn't as long thank god. it's still a bit long)

i think even in the moments akechi is letting you see him in canon such as in rank 6 (and i think you're right i do think at rank 6 he's exposing a bit of himself to you. most of himself. all of himself. he is naked) he's doing so deliberately, because unveiling a bit of truth is a very potent tool in trying to get someone's trust (in this case ren's) and convincing them to swallow the rest of a lie. so while he's showing you something real, i think his intentions are still very guarded, so i would still say he's holding up a facade at that point

black mask in the engine room is more complicated because i think that's the closest he gets to being unguarded during canon. look it's like multilayered because i think when he's being the detective prince he's aware that he's being false because he's doing it on purpose, but when he's the black mask he's much less aware because at that point the insincerity is just something that's built into his understanding of himself so it becomes less a deliberate facade and more a failure to comprehend who he is on an internal level? so i think as black mask in the engine room he's not lying to you anymore. he's just not like... self-actualised enough that we can really call the black mask the "whole" of who goro akechi is, because he sees himself as a villain with an expiration date and so he's kind of deliberately made his self-understanding quite shallow. but it's close. i think that's the most sincere he ever intentionally gets.

re: postcanon - this is really interesting to mull over because i think generally people agree that third semester akechi is like, again, as close as we can get to akechi not masking around you. but i also think that's mostly just because he's being mean, and it's easier to buy meanness as sincerity than niceness. im going into this in the next chapter too i have to figure out how to reword this

but akechi in third sem IS masking. akechi in third sem is a man who thinks he's dead. that expressionlessness isn't just him not bothering to put the smile on anymore, it's him coating his entire existence in a layer of nihilism and apathy because in his mind he doesn't exist anymore and how are you meant to cope with that? it's definitely still more sincere than the detective prince, and i think it's closer to what his personality would be removed from his circumstances. well, that raises another question on a more abstract level LOL about how much of a person's personality IS just... reactivity to circumstances. like is it even meaningful to ask this question? is it useful to try and remove someone into a contextless vacuum to determine their "true self". i think no so to what point is it relevant to try and determine which of a person's circumstances are sufficiently extreme that they should be considered outliers and at what point does it just become a futile exercise in trying to achieve, like, the character equivalent of nagel's view from nowhere I'M GETTING OFF TRACK THI SISNT WHAT YOU ASKED

THE POINT IS. postcanon i think we could expect akechi to resemble his third sem self to an extent but i think a little less blank, a little more reactive and emotional. furthermore i think even when the detective prince and the black mask are gone as conscious masks elements of those personalities would still remain in akechi's character, like, i still think he'd do the ^_^ in public, i still think he'd be unhinged when context allows, because i very firmly believe that (not just for akechi but for everyone in general, but especially for akechi) the choices you make when you're masking and those masks that you wear ARE part of your true self and not just a disguise this is going to show up in longfic too

so i think akechi goro is a liar, he's a performer, he's ruthless, he's flat and dry, he knows how to play the game. he was once idealistic and it's crossed into bitterness so he reacts to his circumstances with cynicism and impatience. he's guarded and carefully filtered in most situations, but in familiar situations where he feels he doesn't have too much to lose (eg with the few people he thinks he can mostly trust) he's smug and cutting and doesnt suffer fools easily. he doesnt pull punches, but dont mistake the bluntness for honesty. i think to akechi truth and information and vulnerability will always be a weapon

[evienyx]

im not too sure how to ask this, but i'm reading the first book in the fractures series, and really enjoying it, and you said that you started it when you were 14. i'm 14 at the moment and am thinking of writing a fic and was wondering if you had any tips on how to plan a longfic or for writing in general

Oh my god this was asked back in August I'm so sorry anon.

As it is, I can still give a pointer or two, regardless of how late it is.

So, as much as anyone hates to hear it and I hate to say it, the best way to get better at prose (as in sentence-level writing) is just by writing. You gotta train it, develop your own style, figure out what works.

I have a tendency to be very flowy and long-winded, often to my own detriment, which is something I'm working on trimming down in the Fractures Rewrite without sacrificing the emotional weight from the scenes.

When it comes to planning a longfic, generally the most important first step (for me at least) is figuring out where you want to end it. Anyone can write a fic whose plot goes on and on for eternity, but if you want your fic to kinda be a classic, having an idea of where it's going to end up will immediately help you.

After the end, the hardest part for me tends to be the middle. It is just as important as anything, and you want it to stay just as interesting. The middle part of the story is the plot, the beginning and end are just vessels for it.

Oftentimes, the earliest form of my outline is literally just a document with the entire plot written out. I don't care for length or details, I just sit down, write the beginning, and then write how the story gets to the end. From there, I clean the outline up. I figure out what makes sense to use and what needs to be added or taken away. I start separating the stuff into possible chapters and outlining those chapters to figure out what they will include.

As I'm doing this, I also write out (smaller) outlines for the arcs of individual characters. Depending on the size of the fic and what the focus is, I might do this for dozens of characters or only for a handful. Regardless, I need to know where they start, where they end up, and how the plot changes them to get them from point A to point B.

If you're ever struggling with coming up with a plot that flows well with good tension, one that feels like it's building to something satisfying, you can always just use a plot template from online somewhere. Even if it feels rudimentary, Exposition-Rising Action-Climax-Falling Action-Resolution works for a reason. It's often how I outline stories of my own that aren't related to fanfiction.

One more tip: Read. And I don't just mean fanfiction. The best fics are often compared to published novels, with some even being considered better than them. One of the reasons these stories are so good is because they don't flow like many fanfictions do - rather they flow like published novels, with a proper plot, arcs, prose, and a satisfying ending.

[idreaminmugiwara]

Okay, my honest opinion of MHA 431, even as a multi-shipper?

What was that?

No seriously.

What was that??

I am baffled. My flabbers are gassted. I am disappointed.

Did I want to see them grown up and see how they were doing post chapter 430? Yes.

Did I wish them all to follow their authentic happiness and have happy, fulfilling adult lives? Also yes.

Did this feel completely shoe-horned in and did it diverge almost entirely from the arcs of the characters prior to this chapter and let down every expectation I didn't even know I had? OH MY GOD YES.

Also the art felt sloppy? Maybe rushed? At least comparatively.

Horikoshi's art has always stood out to me because every single panel is so emotionally potent. His art jumps off the page and hooks you. It's like drugs. The only panel that grabbed me in this chapter was this one, because it's the closest to what I would consider to be his usual standard. Like this panel slaps.

Also that absolute look of LOVE that Todoroki is giving Deku here. Tooootally not contemplating a fic about the two of these mooks now, nope, not at ALL.

Okay the biggest elephant in the room. IzuOcha. I just...like....

Look, there was close to zero tension leading up to the Predator hand hold moment which incidentally held zero emotional impact for me.

I also honestly feel like it does disservice to Ochaco's growth as a character. She canonically does have feelings for Deku (in high school, mind you) but I thought she'd more or less grown past them when she realized that part of what she admired and loved about him is that it represents the person SHE wants to be, the kind of hero she wants to become.

And what even is Bakgugou and Deku's relationship now? We spent 430 chapters watching their relationship deepen and evolve into something that becomes so important that it ends up saving the entire world only for that super uncomfortable car ride and a bland wave from Bakugou as Deku runs to get the girl?

I never expected BakuDeku to be canon, just so we're very clear. This is a shonen and I'm not that naive. I also want to remind everyone freaking out about IzuOcha : just because it's canon doesn't mean your headcanon is cancelled. BakuDeku is one of the most beautiful ships in anime, at least for me, and nothing will ever change that.

It's just....if this was going to be a canon epilogue tying up alllllll story ends, all character arcs, this was possibly one of the laziest and least fulfilling ways I think they could have done it. If the story had spent even half the time developing Deku and Ochaco's relationship as they did his and Bakugou's , maybe I"d feel differently, but MHA revolves very, very intentionally around the two of them and a bond that one may consider legendary.

Y'all this felt like fanfiction, and not even good fanfiction. I was maybe one of the few that was relatively okay with chapter 430. I think Deku as a teacher is a beautiful twist and very true to his character. I LOVE the idea of Uravity starting counseling for people with quirks. I think Bakugou bouncing around the hero's rating list makes sense given his character, but this....this just wasn't it for me. My headcanon says this all ended at 430.

On that note, I gotta get back to my bkdk longfic.

Only an entire third act to go, nbd.

PS: if you DID enjoy this chapter, please don't let my analysis take that away from you. people are allowed to like what they like and ship who they ship. I just needed somewhere to process my feelings.

[freesia-writes]

I'm lobbing this right back to your ask box, because the questions were great, and I'd love to know your answers!

Ok. So. If someone wanted to read your works…

Which do you think is your best piece and why? You can split the answer into short and long fics if you want. 😜

Which do you think is your most delicious, sexy, satisfying piece of smut?

Which do you think has the most intimate/immersive POV of a character, like really takes you in their heart and mind and makes you feel what they feel? Takes you on the ride with them?

And which one do you think everyone should read? I know, choosing one is torture. 😉😘

I should be going to bed right now but my brain is a steam engine and this train of thought is CHUGGIN. 😂 So. Since you had such amazing answers for your own...

Which do you think is your best piece and why?

Honestly... Beyond the Shadow of a Doubt, the Hunter x OC longfic that I worked on for 9+ months, because it's intricately cohesive, intentionally structured from start to finish, and amazingly enriched with fanart, mood boards, and other stuff that makes it completely immersive. I'm really proud of it. 🥹 It's got plot twists but doesn't leave the reader feeling stupid (*coughTBB*), has fully developed and very unique characters that are also relatable (I hope), and I think (and have been told, lol) that the characterization of the Batch is dead-on and their family dynamics are absolutely delightful. It feels weird to speak freely about its strengths, but we should be able to do that without it being braggy. So, it's amazing in a lot of areas and definitely needs work in others (like me, ha).

Which do you think is your most delicious, sexy, satisfying piece of smut?

*dons monocle to consult @spicy-clones master list*

Shoot, I guess I have to say Sharp Edges, the Crosshair x Reader longfic I wrote with @lightwise. There are quite a few smut scenes, but what makes it fantastic is that it starts off hot and shallow, then evolves and deepens in areas beyond just the physical to lead to a really satisfying climax (hahaha). And it's a really good story -- after all, when you get two author brains on a project, it's that much better! Tons of character development, funny dialogue, and an excellent fix-it ending. 😉

Which do you think has the most intimate/immersive POV of a character, like really takes you in their heart and mind and makes you feel what they feel? Takes you on the ride with them?

I guess I'm gonna be really redundant here... The Hunter one, because readers experience the story through his eyes (where other works are from a reader, OC, or omniscient POV). So they were hopefully just as surprised as he was at sudden plot twists, but I also tried to add just enough detail and subtle lil winks to the reader to "let them in" on some of the secrets so that they could feel shrewd and insightful without just having it all out there plainly so Hunter's the only one and the rest of us are rolling our eyes and smacking our foreheads at him the whole time. 😜 I mean, there was some of that too. 😂

And which one do you think everyone should read?

If the two pitches above for Beyond the Shadow of a Doubt didn't seal the deal, then that one is lost beyond redemption. 😜 So I have two shorties...

This Pets 4 Vets story featuring Jesse is long enough to create some chemistry, have some funny ups and downs, and enjoy a satisfying connection at the end (and some hot bangin' in the bonus chapter, LOL). I love the trope of being let in by someone who hides behind a front and this one was really enjoyable that way.

And lastly, this Tup x Reader keeps coming to mind. Idk why, but it's playful, awkward, satisfying, and sweet. The dialogue prompt was "Don't ever do that again! ...you have no idea what it does to me." And it involves his hair, surprise surprise. 😉 PLUS, I love writing "the boys", whether it's the Batch or the 501st, cause those dynamics seem to really enrich the whole thing.

Thanks for letting me ramble. 💕

AND FOR ANYONE ELSE READING, hahah, I feel like I write almost the same trope over and over, so if you have some requests that you'd like to hear in my style, but are different in content than my usual stuff, drop em in my asks!

[perseidlion]

Whenever a fanfic writer laments about dropping engagement and says they wish people left comments like they used to, inevitably someone chimes in to say "just write for yourself!"

That advice has gotten twisted around. It is excellent advice when you're learning how to write because it helps you find your voice and expand your skills. Plus when you write from your heart, you'll tell stories worth telling.

That advice is NOT meant to tell writers they should write with no expectations of getting anything from readers, ever. It just means don't write trying to please someone else, because the story won't be as strong. It's also much harder to get the motivation and gain the discipline to write when you're not writing a story you love. If you don't care about the story, why should your readers?

That is craft advice, not fandom behaviour advice. They're very separate things. There would frankly, be no fanfic community if people didn't write for engagement. The stories would sit forever in documents and not shared if its only purpose was for the writer's own edification.

It isn't an either-or thing. When I choose what to write, I try to find the venn diagram overlap of what I want to write and what I think the fandom will enjoy. If I write something outside of that, then I don't expect the same kind of engagement. I never fully write for myself (then I wouldn't post it) and I never fully write for fandom (because it would probably be a bad story.) There's ground between those two things, and that's where the best stories can often be found.

Writing with an awareness of the audience is a skill worth developing if you are doing more than just chucking out stories for fun (which is also TOTALLY valid and fine.) It's also fair if you don't care about engagement. But it's also not wrong to care about it, either.

Social media and influencer culture has ruined the gift culture of fandom. On Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, etc...the big creators are part of a monetization program and/or they get brand deals. So you just consuming their content does in fact benefit them. Published writers get sales stats and royalties from people reading their work. That is NOT true for fanfic and for Ao3. The only "payment" we can hope to get is that if someone likes our story, they tell us.

When people say they wish readers dropped a comment, we're not necessarily saying we wished more people read our work (that is sort of a given, really. What writer doesn't want to be read more?) What we're saying is that we wish the people who we know are reading our work would take a moment to say thank you. I would never want someone to read my story out of a sense of charity. I want people to read it because they like the concept and my writing.

We're saying that IF you read and enjoyed the story, please tell us. That's all. It doesn't have to be long or involved (and for god's sake, don't leave unsolicited criticism.) Even a 'loved this!' or a string of emojis is welcome.

To put it bluntly, telling writers they should write for themselves when they ask for a thank you if someone read their work is very entitled. It's also a cop-out because it absolves the reader of a small amount of effort and allows them to just consume silently with no guilt. We're not asking for a novel of a comment (though those are very much appreciated!) just a sign that a real human liked it.

This is especially important on long multichapters where you can only leave kudos once. It can get very lonely as a writer when you're 2/3 of the way through and there are few new kudos and few comments. It leaves you wondering if anyone still cares, and it comes at the most challenging part of the fic. I would venture to guess this is when most longfics get abandoned. An easy way to prevent that is just to drop an occasional comment so we know we're not shouting into the void.

A fic is a present a writer gives the community. If you loved the present, it's polite to say thank you. It's 10 seconds of effort on your part for hours of effort on the writer's. That really isn't a lot to ask.

[good-wine-and-cheese]

HNY!! ^^ For the artist/fic writer ask: 2, 12, 14, 23/24!

Yay yay thank you!!! Happy new year ^^

Artist/fic writer ask

2. A piece you're proud of and why

It's gotta be this piece for the Vaesen crew!

Normally it's hard enough for me to draw ONE character in a fully rendered scene but now it's 3 and only one of them have I ever consistently drawn. But, I pulled it off! I had a good time trying to really capture the mood of the scene. It was definitely my most daunting piece drawn this year and the fact that I finished it all the way makes me happy.

Writing wise I would say the as of yet unfinished longfic I've been writing, the indomitable human soul. It started out with a simple AU concept that takes place post-Astro Boy that was maybe going to be 20k words or so, but it has since ballooned into a tense character dissection of Umataro Tenma that has been a wonderful experience to write. It's been a journey to write and I've been having a great time with it.

12. A concept you'd like to develop next year

I have a comic idea that I sort of left on the floor when I got swallowed up in a bunch of other stuff and the idea of writing a comic felt like it was too much. Without spoiling PLUTO too much, the idea would be that it follows Hoffman after the events of the story as he goes off on his own, unable to continue his work with Europol. I really adore his character and think there's a very interesting rich plot potential for him that just escapes the scope of Pluto's narrative (his would-be 'arc' taking place just after the end) so I want to really explore that.

14. Something new you tried this year

Single layer shading! I normally have like 5 different shading layers; one for skin, one (or two) for clothes, one for hair, and then one or two "fuckin around for fun" layers. I started doing a couple pieces where all of my shading was done on a single layer. I found, when it was all on one layer, I was able to be more loose with my shading and not feel as constrained with it. Basically the entire thing became "fuckin around for fun" shading which I think is the best kind of shading.

23. Rec another creator's fic you wish more people would read

I would have to say this fic here by @soleilenchaine about Helena and Gesicht from PLUTO. It is explicit mind you, so bare that in mind, but it's a wonderful study of character for two robots as lovers and what that means for them. And I won't say too much else but the way that formatting is used really compliments this fic well in a heartbreaking way. It's so so good. If you've read or watched Pluto it's so so excellent.

24. Rec another creator's artwork you wish more people would see

I'm gonna rec @felis-rach! I found them first through their Astro Boy art, but everything else they draw is so lovely. There's so much personality and their colours are always so nice to look at. There's a ton of variety in their style and subject matter and I think more people should look at their stuff<3

[yandecifi]

What It Means to Be Made of Stardust

☆ chapter eight

⋆ masterlist

⋆ cw: child abuse, sa, mental illness

hawks/reader, psychological, wip longfic

There are days you spend sitting outside your apartment door, school bag at your side, leaning against the concrete walls. Or maybe you’re laying on your stomach as you work on your homework, legs kicking in the air, elbows perching you up and scraping against the ground. Your neighbors walk past occasionally. Some say hi, some glance at you and turn away.

Dad asks you what you’re doing, laying on the ground outside his apartment, because it’s weird. It’s embarrassing. What’s he doing letting his kid roll around outside with all the neighbors watching? They’ll judge him and think he’s a bad father. And, what, do you hate him or something? Why can’t you just sit inside like somebody normal, talk to him, ask him how his day was? You’re so thoughtless, so rude. Why’s he been given a child like you?

You sit at the dinner table with your homework spread out. Your knees knock together as they jostle, your blood is fizzing up like soda. Dad wanders through the kitchen.

“I love you, you know that?”

“Uh-huh.”

Dad pulls something out of the fridge. A beer, probably, but the air has turned sour. The words on your homework start to fuzz.

“You know what that means?”

“Um, haha, maybe.”

“I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to go through what I have, I’m not going to do to you what my parents did to me.”

“I - um, okay.”

He’s silent for a beat. Your fingers tremble, your knees still, you can’t even swallow.

“And, you don’t know this yet,” he starts again, “but most people don’t mean it like I do. To other people, throughout my life, it means -- it means, ‘I want something from you, and saying I love you is how I’ll get it’. You haven’t experienced that, so you don’t get it, I know -- but you’ll meet people like that. Most people are like that.”

“Can I just do my homework?”

It’s quiet except for the buzzing in your head.

And then, Dad slams his hands on the kitchen countertop and the whole thing snaps like a taut rubber band — you’re jumping up and bolting out the door. It’s only a moment before he’s on your heels, skidding around the corners of the apartment stairwell with you, shouting and screaming at you from the parking lot.

But you’re already halfway to the moon, the air hot in your lungs, your feet a blur beneath you. Moments like these are the closest you can get to flying ��� when you’re running who knows where, too fast for him to catch.

Your favorite nights were spent outside with stolen chips and coke. The grin you had sitting on some bench and popping those cans open, licking the salt from your fingers, was bigger than any bruise.

☆

The sky is blue.

You’re laying in the grass with your classmates. It’s one of campus’s many lawns, all well kept and green despite winter creeping in. Grass tickles your arms and ankles with every twitch. It smells freshly cut. Your jeans are probably stained green.

It’s Mina and the rest of her usual group that’s sitting with you. They’re sitting in a circle, cross-legged and yapping. They’re eating fast food: neon slushies and tacos. You snorted your pain meds.

Clouds float far above you and yet you’re right there with them. You reach your hand out and grab at them.

“Girl, you tryna be all main character or something?”

You roll your head over at Mina and her friends. Mina grins down at you between bites and slurps. Bakugo’s glaring at you. Kirishima doesn’t meet your eye. Denki keeps talking with Sero like you aren’t there.

You roll right on back to the sky.

“Girl?”

“Mhm?”

“Where’ve you been, lately?”

“Living with Aizawa.”

“I -- yeah, I know. I mean, like, ummm, even when you’re with us, you’re not.”

“Uhhhhh.” You shut your eyes as you force yourself to sit up. Your brain feels full of blood, hot, sloshing. Everything tingles. You rub your face. “Sorry, I’m just tired.”

“Oh. Want some of my baja?”

“No, no. Thanks, though.” The grass is spray paint green. You blink. “The sky is really pretty.”

Mina giggles like she always does, eyes crinkling up in the corners, cheeks round and strained with her smile. You’ve never met anybody as happy as her. She has to be lying.

“It’s even prettier with some baja and tacos!”

You stare at the chemically colored slush in her hand. It’s as stupidly green as the grass. You lean over and slurp from the straw. The cold meets your tongue and it tingles, weirdly enough. You swallow and lay back down and you smile.

“That tasted like chemicals, Mina.”

“Bitch, be so for fucking real. I’ve seen you take edibles like they’re candy. And I’m not even gonna start with the drunk vaping.”

“Okay, okay.” You swat Mina’s offering of more baja away. “It definitely tasted better than any edible I’ve had.”

“Damn straight.”

Mina shuffles over to you and then collapses in the grass at your side, joining you in cloud gazing. She sluuuurps.

You side eye Mina. She notices. You grin. She grins. She wriggles closer until you’re both practically touching noses.

“What?” She whispers, eyes gleaming with mischief.

“I snorted my meds,” you whisper back.

Mina blinks. She opens her mouth to say something. She closes it. Her smile falters. She looks away. She looks back at you. Her face contorts in confusion and she sits up a little.

“You what?”

You remain very still. “I’m joking.”

“No the fuck you aren’t.”

“I am.”

“Show me your eyes.”

“No.”

“Show me --”

“No!”

“If you don’t --”

“No!”

“Fine!”

Mina lays back down with a huff, arms crossed. The boys are staring at the two of you. You flip them off. They all exchange glances and Mina yanks your arm down.

“Girl, what?” Mina turns so that the two of you are nose-to-nose again. You smile. “Weed, getting drunk, and the occasional pen is one thing. Snorting random pills is another. What were you thinking? How much did you take?”

“They’re not random, I was prescribed them --”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Sorry.” You swallow. “I don’t know, I just crushed one of the pills on my desk and snorted it. I don’t know why.”

“Nobody does shit like that just because. Why?”

“I really, honestly don’t know. I guess I just wanted to see if things would change.”

“The stuff with your Dad?”

“No, I mean, I know nothing’s changing that. I just mean… I don’t know.”

“Your depression?”

You squint. The pamphlet and the conversation in her room flashes through your mind.

“I guess? I’m not, like, diagnosed with that, though.”

“I feel like we’re past that point.”

“I don’t know.” You find yourself staring into her eyes, searching, looking at the person there. This one is new. “I’m sorry.”

Mina gives you something like a smile. She doesn’t look right unhappy.

“It’s okay. Just know I’m always here to talk, okay? And can you please promise me you won’t mess with your meds again? I’ll literally buy you alc if you don’t.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Her eyes are pretty like amber in the sunlight. “You don’t have to buy me alc.”

Mina lays on top of you in a dogpile-esque hug. You wrap your arms around her torso and, despite feeling like you’re being crushed, you also feel like you’re being loved. The two often seem to be intertwined.

“Mina?”

“Yeah?”

“I just feel like I’m in some sort of limbo.”

“What? Like, the game?”

“No, what?” You laugh and she moves with your chest. “Like the space between heaven and hell. But like it’s not Earth.”

“...”

“Like where ghosts are? I’m wherever the ghosts are.”

“Okay.” She raises her head to look at you. “Do you mean this as in wanting to…?”

“No, no, not like that! I’m just in some kind of in between. I’m stuck.”

“You don’t feel real?”

You blink. “Yeah.”

Kirishima all of a sudden jumps up and starts screaming and waving at somebody. You and Mina sit up to see Aizawa on the sidewalk a little ways away, a group of first years on his heels.

“Oh. I thought he didn’t come to campus on weekends?” Mina slides off of you to sit properly, watching your teacher all the while.

“He’s the chaperone for the martial arts club.”

Aizawa waves at all of you. You fester.

-------------------------------------

Leaning against the hood of Aizawa’s car, you realize you don’t know how you got here.

You zip your jacket up to your chin, burrow yourself in it. You want to drink something. Or smoke. Or sleep.

“Had a picnic with your friends?”

Aizawa strolls up to you with his own jacket on, black and baggy. You hop up, stare at the zipper, the wrinkles.

The wind bites at your cheeks and you fidget with the hood you’re wearing to cover the st--

“Did you have fun?” Aizawa blinks at you from beneath his mess of hair.

You murmur something in the affirmative.

Aizawa nods slowly, like he’s going to say more. He doesn’t. You both get in the car.

When the two of you get to his house, Aizawa makes tea. He asks you to sit down at the dinner table and if you like English breakfast. He’s not really asking.

When your teacher sits next to you, fragrant black swirling in both your mugs, you start to huff uncomfortably. Your skin is too tight around your throat. Aizawa clears his own.

“How are your sessions with Hound Dog?”

You shrug, rub your neck, stare at your lap.

“Do they help,” he elaborates, pushing, staring, “at all?”

“Sure.”

“Sure?”

You cross your arms. “What else am I supposed to say?”

“The truth. Be honest.”

He says it like it’s easy.

Something touches your feet from beneath the table. You lean back and it’s Kitty skulking about, tail slithering past your ankle.

“Oh, he likes you.” Aizawa chuckles. “How unusual.”

You stare at your teacher while he watches Kitty. The blemishes, wrinkles, and scars on his face, the beard he can’t seem to grow nor get rid of, the smile you’ve hardly seen in your three years of knowing him. His eyes flick to yours. You take a sip of tea.

“Principal Nedzu informed me of his decision regarding your enrollment.”

You shift in your seat. “Okay.”

“Because you can’t keep up with tuition for the foreseeable future, we’ve decided to drop you as a student for the time being.” Aizawa says, careful, all sugar coated and pretty. “There are scholarships we have that can help cover the costs, but your grades aren’t within the competitive range.”

You can’t even hear your heartbeat anymore. It’s just the crumbling.

“My recommendation is to work through your current situation and health issues before continuing with herowork.”

Your current situation? Your health issues? This situation is your entire life. Your ‘health’ issues are ingrained in you as deeply as the ability to walk or breathe.

You turn eighteen in a couple of months and Aizawa won’t have to house you anymore. Then again, that might not end up being a problem.

“What if my Dad gets let out?” You try, palming your cup of tea. “I’ll get him to pay for it. I will.”

Aizawa leans forward in his seat. “As far as I can tell, he’s going to go to prison. They have witnesses and the evidence is all there. And the fact you’re about to turn into an adult means they’re not worried about displacing a child.”

Your neighbors called the cops with every other screaming match you had and all you ever got out of it was a beating. You went to school smelling like garbage, you slept outside, you had bruises. Does anybody know how badly you wanted somebody to just say something back then? Why didn’t they? Why now?

You already moved on. You were fine, you were handling everything fine, you had a fucking life for once, you were making something of yourself despite everything. You did this all yourself. This was yours, not your father’s, and they’re still taking it away from you.

You stare at your palms, the calluses, the scars.

“But, it’s not my fault.”

Aizawa’s as surreal and still as always. “I know.”

Your skin prickles with the black outside that broad, glass wall. The chair you’re sitting in creaks as you lean back in it, a lump in your throat. Your fingers tap on the table, quick. You watch them drum like little soldiers, like rain.

☆

Your dorm is empty except for your desk, bed, and chair.

You stuffed your bedsheets into yet another trash bag. You threw all your clothes into two others. Everything else, all your knick-knacks and snacks and school stuff, are jumbled together in the garbage bag you’re hauling towards the dumpster. Is your vomit still there, or has a week already gone by?

Every night on Aizawa’s couch, you wake up to your father’s footsteps. When you hone in on the sound, you hear him muttering. You shut your eyes tight and tell yourself it’s not real, but what if it is? You told yourself the same thing when it was.

You throw your garbage into the dumpster and something shatters. You turn around and walk away.

It’s the weekend and Mina and her friends are nowhere to be found. You’d usually bump into them in the elevator by now, or the commons, or by walking around campus, or they’d come find you -- but today there’s nothing. You haven’t told them you’re leaving yet.

They’ve been talking about you, you’re certain of it. Every time you meet up with them they give each other odd looks or sneak glances at you like there’s something on your face. Hawks was right.

You drag the rest of your shit from your dorm to the elevator. You press the first floor and wait as you travel down, down, down. The doors open. You hold one trash bag in each hand and kick the final one out the elevator and into the commons, keep kicking it forward every couple of steps. So, this is what all of your efforts have come to.

You kick the bag through the front door. The star Altair is seventeen light years away, which means you’re still in the womb there, that nothing bad has happened to you.

You kick the bag down the steps. Your mother’s in the air, somewhere, and even then you’ve probably never breathed her.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. People take parts of you and then leave to places where you can’t find them.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. Why couldn’t the two of you have had just one more meaningless conversation?

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. Does she think about you when she folds her clothes?

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. It’s about the oranges she peeled for you.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. She never even told you why.

“Fuck’re you doing?”

You jerk your head up to see Bakugo standing in front of you, narrowed eyes flitting from each trash bag to your crumpled face.

“Taking out the trash.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Can you just leave me alone?” You snap, making your way around him with some extra kicks. He turns to watch you do each one.

“What, did you dismember someone or something?” Bakugo snatches the bag from your feet, falling into step with you.

“No.” You trudge along, trash bags swinging awkwardly in your hands. “I don’t need help.”

“Yeah, well, you looked retarded.”

“You can’t say that.”

“I think the retards out there would give me a pass if they saw you.”

“Bakugo!” You laugh, the urge to smack him on the arm squashed by your bags. “Seriously?”

He cracks a smile. “What? It’s true.”

You sigh. “Where is everybody?”

“Ramen.” Bakugo looks at you funny. “It’s Sunday.”

You stare at him before snapping your gaze back to your feet. “Right.”

“You really need to start coming to those.”

You count cracks in the concrete. “You’re here, too.”

“I don’t skip every week, idiot.” He looks around. “We’re going to the parking lot?”

“Uh, yeah.” You jog down the steps leading to the lot, walk along the sidewalk until you reach Aizawa’s car. “You can go.”

Bakugo sets your trash bag down on the ground. “Isn’t that Mr. Aizawa’s car?”

“Who knows.” You put your bags down as well, sit on the curb. “Thanks for carrying my bag.”

Bakugo stands there for a moment. Then, he opens the bag he was carrying, rummages through it.

“What the fuck?” He pulls out one of your shirts and holds it out to you, like he needs to show you the evidence. “You’re moving out?”

You hug your knees to your chest, rest your chin on them.

“Hello? Can I get a fucking answer?”

“Yeah, I fucking am, alright? I’m dropping out.”

Bakugo gawks at you. Like, genuinely, mouth open and brows pinched like you told him to go kill himself.

He swings his arms in loud gestures. “Fuck you mean, dropping out? We graduate in two months!”

“Yeah, I know.” Your jaw clenches. Your brain is thick with something, slime, soju. “I don’t have a choice, okay? My Dad’s gonna go to jail, I can’t afford tuition anymore.”

“They have scholarships, mine’s basically full-ride—”

“Okay, good for fucking you!”

You shift uncomfortably on the curb. A peek at Bakugo shows he’s standing there with clenched fists, feet shifting.

“What is it with you?” He grinds out. “You flip like a goddamn switch. You’re sweet as hell one second, having me thinking I’m okay with rotting my teeth off, and then you act like you can’t stand me. You act like we didn’t make out for two hours and spend the night in your room ‘cuz you begged me not to leave.”

You’re going to rip out your esophagus.

“I was drunk.” It’s creeping up your shoulders, going up your shirt. “I—“ Your brow pinches— “I was drunk.”

“Oh, fuck off, you were tipsy at most.”

“So what?” You glare up at him. Something isn’t right. “It was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Bakugo’s nose wrinkles. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah, I am.” Something isn’t right. “What, you think I’m easy or something?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about! I mean, you tried to get with me the day after I got out of the hospital, like, are you fucking for real?”

“I wasn’t trying anything, you came onto me!”

“Oh, shut up! Just go make one of your fucking smoothies or something.”

Something isn’t right. You huff. Bakugo’s nostrils flare as he stomps towards you, crouches to your level, and grips you by the shoulders.

It’s loud, blaring, and riddled with curses. His fingers are bruising. You frown, shake your head, shake and shake.

You were drunk. But, you’d already told yourself that that didn’t matter, didn’t you?

Glass shatters and you shriek. You cover your face, drop to your knees, but Aizawa is already helping you up.

Something isn’t right. You’re standing with Aizawa in his kitchen. Eri is hiding behind the dinner table.

The glass crunches beneath your feet as you take a step back. Aizawa winces, urges you to calm down, but what if this is like the sounds you hear at night?

Is any of this real? Was that a dream? Is this a dream? What if you’re still bleeding out in the stairwell?

Eri isn’t behind the table anymore. You’re lying on the couch with a blanket over you, the TV flashing with Sailor Moon. Instead of your father’s footsteps, Hawks retches from the next room over.

[heylittleriotact]

ao3 tag game

@emmg tagged me because she appears unbothered by my tendency to overshare (aw 🥰).

But now I’m tagging @emmg BACK because I wanna know these things about you, so DO IT (please). Also tagging @allofthebarks, @preciouslittlebhaalbae, and @xxnashiraxx if they feel so inclined 🤍

How many works do you have on ao3?

Twenty-one (21)!

What's your total ao3 word count?

495,163

What fandoms do you write for?

Baldur's Gate 3, Dragon Age, Dungeons & Dragons, and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Top five fics by kudos:

Antemortem (Dragon Age - Emmrich x Female Rook smut)

Visitation (Dragon Age - Emmrich x Female Rook smut)

Open Invitation (Baldur's Gate 3 - Astarion x Feylock Tav longfic)

Algor Mortis (Dragon Age - Emmrich x Female Rook fluff/smut)

Suture (Dragon Age - Emmrich x Female Rook fluff)

Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to every comment I get! Sometimes it takes me a week or two because I tend to block off Monday mornings strictly for comment replying, but it means so much to me when people take the time to read my work and share their thoughts with me - I feel like it's the least I can do to say thank you - also I tend to drop secrets in comment replies, so that's always fun.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Endless Possibilities - my completed Solavellan fic that wrapped up in 2017. It takes place about a year after Trespasser and focuses on my Lavellan who's racing against the clock to stop Solas because in a cruel twist of fate, she has fallen terminally ill and before she dies she is convinced she can change his mind. There are no happy endings in this story: Lavellan basically goes off the deep end and becomes more and more desperate knowing that she's dying - she gets increasingly aggressive and treats herself with less and less regard as the story goes on, and dies at the end, a burned out husk of the vibrant promise that she once held.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Casket Spray - my smutty imagining of Emmrich and my Rook's act 3 love scene. I think it’s probably the sweetest, most romantic thing I’ve ever written. I usually thrive on torturing my blorbos, but I am actually incapable of harming Emmrich and Amina and can only imagine utter joy and happiness for them both. This fic underscores that: there’s tender lovemaking, passionate and meaningful soul-fucking, and we cap it all off with a marriage proposal avec cute pillow talk in a goddamn sarcophagus. It’s revolting. I’m thrilled for their future. You just know that wedding is going to be stunning.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not on ao3. Ffnet back in the day was another story lol

Do you write smut?

That’s all I seem to write these days, which is impressive because I’ve written fic for twenty years and only this year decided to start getting extremely explicit when it comes to people fucking.

Craziest crossover?

I don’t really do crossovers, so I suppose the closest thing would be the fact that I decided my feylock Tav’s patron is actually my D&D PC. Make a Drunken Master Monk Eladrin into an archfey - what could possibly go wrong? So like… it’s kind of a weird incestual D&D on D&D crossover when you break it right down? I have entertained the idea of dumping Senna into Thedas on more than one occasion. I feel like the potential hate-fucking that could occur with Solas would be biblical. That’s pretty cracky though, and I haven’t indulged in that kind of nonsense in years hahaha.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No one wants to claim responsibility for the nonsense I write lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I’m aware of haha.

Have you ever co-written a fic?

That’s how @allofthebarks and I became friends when she was the new kid in grade eight and I had to show her around. Our Inuyasha fics were the foundation of a friendship that could not be snuffed even when she fucked off to Texas years later. My gift to her for being my Maid of Honour last year was a hardbound volume of all of the Harry Potter fic we wrote together through high school and the years after. JK may be a hideous terf, but she’ll never take that away from me 🙌

All time favorite ships?

- Solas x Lavellan (Dragon Age): poetic, angsty, utterly tragic and beautiful. What more needs to be said? It’s timeless. Perfect.

- Atton Rand x Exile (KotOR 2): I’m a sucker for a redemption arc, and as bare bones and unfinished as the romance was in that game, you could really sink your teeth into it and go to some cool places if you used your imagination.

- Emmrich x Mourn Watch Rook (Dragon Age): Is rapidly moving up the list - it’s such a good fit for a true love/soul mate pairing and it makes my heart happy whenever I think about it. I love the idea of a pairing that consists of two lonely people who finally found each other and get to be so, so in love that it makes you sick. Inject it directly into my veins please.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ooooh tough. I started a sequel to my tragic Solavellan fic in which a spirit of Hope manifested physically in the form of Lavellan, and it had a lot of potential and I think about it often, but I’ll never finish it, I’m afraid.

I do need to finish my Astarion x Tav fic, but it’s been on hiatus since October because apparently when you decide to project years of personal trauma onto an aggressively self-destructive OC, you might write yourself into a corner and find that writing it is just a little too real so you have to stop working on it indefinitely.

What are your writing strengths?

Pain. I’m good at crawling into the brains of fictional characters and making a fluffy nest of emotional and psychological horror for myself to burrow in like a weird ferret.

I’ve been told that I’m good at portraying gore/violence/horror in general, which aligns with me getting shipped off to a child psychologist when I was six because of my tendency to write vividly descriptive stories about vivisections and school age children stumbling upon dismembered human remains.

I’ve recently received praise for my ability to accurately portray the voices of pre-existing characters (Emmrich and Varric, specifically) and that’s a nice feather in my cap.

Grammar and formatting - these are as fluid as the ocean, but I spent so much time writing obits that I aim to be pretty picky about that shit before I publish anything.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I approach emotional content very tentatively with a hesitance that does me no credit, I think? I’m afraid of coming across as contrived, indulgent, or “unrealistic” even though I’m writing fiction, so I struggle to write with my entire dick so to speak when it comes to romance and the nice, warm, happy aspects of it that aren’t tainted by some sort of self-loathing or guilt. I was raised Catholic, can you tell?

I’m an adverb slut.

I cannot relinquish dialogue tags.

Sometimes I think I feel the need to over-describe things because they need to physically manifest on paper in order for them to make sense to me.

I’m basically a vampire in the sense that it’s incredibly difficult for me to move on to writing something else even if I really really really want to write it but I have another thing in progress. I’ve stalled out on writing so many times because I literally cannot give myself permission to work on a different thing because the other Thing isn’t completed to my liking.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Uh sure? If it fits the scene and doesn’t require the reader to have a translator for entire paragraphs of text.

I tend not to bother coming up with elven and stuff when I write and just use dialogue tags etc. to indicate that characters are speaking a different language.

First fandm you ever wrote in?

On ao3? Knights of the Old Republic 2. First posted online? Fucking Pirates of the Caribbean yo. Ever? Inuyasha 😂😂😂

Favorite fic(s) you wrote?

It’s like picking a favourite child: I can’t. I’d say I’m proudest of Endless Possibilities because it’s the only long fic I’ve ever finished, AND writing it was an outlet that kept me going during an incredibly difficult time. It really helped keep me sane.

Honestly going back to it now, it’s not the best thing I’ve ever written, but I read some of the paragraphs and the way I described certain concepts and things and I’m like “holy shit I wrote that?” It just seems so outside of me, but I guess maybe that’s just where I was at during that time?

[xx-vergil-xx]

regarding hounds

realizing now that that’s maybe a somewhat ominous way to start a non-ominous post but onward and upward

hello lovely people who are following me, in particular those of you following for hounds — i wanted to say, first, that your love and enthusiasm and support continue to be one of the great wonders and joys of my life, and even when i am away from you i think of you often. with utmost and genuine sincerity, thank you <3

second: ! i am finishing hounds !

the perils of post-grad and a rampant new fixation on another project that i hope, someday, will be Published Like In A Barnes And Noble Shelf Way, have intervened, as they often do. i think maybe that’s been for the best — in the back of my mind, hounds pt II has been left to percolate, which means that it’s going to end up being far more well thought out than it might have been off the bat.

but knowing me myself, i think the best way for me to get that work to you is to write it all — the remaining 14 chapters (jesus christ here at hounds inc we put the long in longfic) — and then post it, regularly, editing upcoming chapters between posts but having them locked and loaded and ready to get out there. i’m not actually sure how long this will take me? i’ve got a non-negligible chunk of ch 43 done and a scene from 49 that’s been lurking for eternity, but i actually don’t know how long most of these chapters might ultimately shake out to be?

anyways — i’ve been off of here for a Hot Minute and i just felt it was past due that i update any interested parties on the state of affairs. tl;dr — hounds is getting done! might just be a sec :)

thank you, again, from the bottom of my heart, for hanging out with me. love y’all <3

xoxo verg

[kingwuko]

so, random writer question. how do you manage writing so many multi chapter fics at the same time? i feel like you update them all pretty frequently. any tips for writing multiple fics at once?

Hello anon! Wow!! I am really flattered that you sent me this! For one thing, thank you for saying it feels like I update all my fics pretty frequently! I sometimes feel like I'm not updating often enough, so hearing someone say that actually makes me feel good about the frequency I update.

As for the question, how do I manage it and if I have any tips, I will definitely try to share what has been working for me so far. It's long. I'm sorry 🤣

First of all, I really need to credit a different fic writer from a different fandom. @pikapeppa is a fanfic author that I really look up to in terms of her writing style, her update consistency, and for finishing multi chaptered longfics. When I was trying to steel myself for writing Secret, I sent her a asks and she gave helpful advice! She has writing tutorials if you want to check them out.

I also posed a similar question to her about juggling multiple fics at once, and she gave some really kind advice about not giving in to hustle culture and just writing what makes me excited instead of worrying about update frequency!

So, for me, these are the things that help me with juggling all these fics:

1. Taking care of my mental health

I have always love writing, but when I'm in a bad place mentally, it's not happening. I've come a long way and figured out what I needed. When my mental health is well managed, I find joy in writing which is crucial for me to, well, write!

2. Organization

Okay I feel like there might be a better word because I'm like, the least organized person in the world. But, what I really mean is, I keep all my fics separated and labeled in my Google drive. I have folders nested inside folders and do my best to label all my folders and docs. That way I can keep things together that I need for each fic, and I can easily open and reference anything I need.

For example:

This is mostly because I have different back stories and headcanons for each fic, so this helps me keep it all straight. It also makes it quick and easy to look stuff up. I have transcripts saved and an outline and an idea dump where I can look if I need help.

3. Deciding which fic to focus on

This is tricky because I feel like I'm still figuring this out myself. At first I was forcing myself to to rotate them in order, now (at the advice of @pikapeppa ) I write whichever fic I'm most excited about. This is working better for me. I need to shift my mindset when I work on a different fic, because my fics have different tones. If I force myself to shift mindsets, it's trickier. If I just do what I'm most excited about, it feels more natural to get into the right mindset and I write faster! That includes my one shots. Sometimes I'm not working on the next chapter. Sometimes a one shot has my attention.

Comments, asks, and discussions in my discord group actually influence what I'm excited about quite a bit! So if you notice it's been a while since I've updated something, and you comment on it, there's a good chance it'll give me that dopamine rush to naturally shift back to that fic haha.

I also don't reply to comments on the latest chapter until I've posted the next one. It's kind of a carrot on a stick for myself. If I make myself wait to reply til I post the next chapter, it's another incentive that helps me get excited!

4. Writing

I'm so sorry to say this. But in order to write fics, you have to. Well. Write. I know this is very upsetting for me to hear sometimes. 🤣

Theres tons of posts out there about how to write if you're struggling or you're stuck. I'm sure they have better advice than I do. But what works for me are the following things:

Outline, then write the chapters in order. Some people prefer to write out of order, to write the scenes they're excited first. But for me, writing in order gives me something to look forward to. It's easier to get through the less exciting but crucial scenes and chapters if I know I have a really fun scene right around the corner.

Write badly. My first drafts are pretty rough. There's lots of cringe. Terrible grammar. Incomprehensible sentences. Weird ideas that sounded good in my head but just do not work in writing. Sometimes I don't even know what I want to say, and I just throw some brackets in: [transition here]. For dialogue I'll write it in script form first before adding dialogue tags. Honestly once you get past the uncomfortableness of writing badly, it gets easy. It's word vomit. But guess what, no one has to see it but me!

Write whenever the mood strikes (as long as it's safe to do so). I figured out pretty quick that if I didn't jot ideas down when they hit me, they'll be gone later. If I waited to write until I had the perfect environment, I would never get any writing done (I have four kids and job, my environment is never perfect for writing 😅). This is why I write in Google docs. I can write on my computer (which I prefer) but I can also write ANYWHERE on my phone. I tend to do quite a bit of micro writing throughout the day. Between clients at work. Waiting in the school pickup line. Laying in bed before I fall asleep. Taking a walk (carefully and in a low/no car traffic path!) any moments throughout the day that I get a few minutes of peace and quiet. Just don't write when you're driving obviously 🤣

Edit when I am feeling good. All those brackets I throw in have to get resolved eventually. If I go through and edit when I'm feeling really good and focused, it's much easier. If I try to edit when I'm distracted or having a bad day, it's probably not gonna be great or I'll probably get stuck and struggle.

Use a beta reader. Okay. Listen. There are a million fics out there that aren't beta read. Obviously tons of writers do great without them. Not me. In addition to the fact that having a beta reader just makes my work more polished and understandable, it also gives me some external accountability. My beta reader, @badgermolebender, doesn't even really do anything extra to encourage me to write, it's just KNOWING that they're there, for some reason, helps me to write. And there are plenty of people out there who will beta read and also gently nudge you to write by checking in occasionally. 'hey how's the next chapter coming along? Need to bounce some ideas around? Let me know!' (psst if you want a beta reader for a Wuko fic, or any Lok fic, I'm available!!!! Even other fandoms if I know them!)

5. Be kind to myself.

Writing fanfic is a hobby. It's supposed to be enjoyable, for the most part! We can't hold ourselves to the same standards as people who write novels for a living. They have editors, they get paid for publishing, they have deadlines pushing them forward; and I'm sure other things I don't know about because I don't write novels for a living!!! We just have our fandom community and our free time. So we aren't going to be churning out novel length fics as quickly as R.L. Stine. You'll have gaps where life got in the way and a fic gets put on hold. It's fine. Just pick it back up when you can.

I have no idea if any of that is helpful, but that's my writing method these days. Look, I'm just a boring thirty-something trying to live my best life after neglecting myself in my twenties. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm having fun!

[kipkoh]

please ramble about your ao3 fics!

Not sure if you had a specific fic or topic in mind, but I'm just gonna talk about Effortlessly My Baby since it's my most popular one.

When I get writer's block, I like to take a step back from my current project for a day or two to recoup, and during this time, sometimes I like to write something else entirely to keep up the creativeness. I was working on another longfic as my main project when I started writing Effortlessly My Baby on the side, just as something to do when I got stuck. So, in a way, we can thank my writer's block for EMB.

At some point I'd written so much of it that I just decided to start posting it, because why not? It might have been a side project, but I was still proud of it. At this point in time, I was still not super immersed into the TOH fandom, so I had no idea how big the Dadrius side was initially, and so I was not expecting my fic to get a lot of readers. To my surprise, it did, and I can never express how thankful I am for all the positive reception it received. It even quickly got to the point where EMB was getting far more traction than my main fic. New chapters of my main fic would rarely get any interaction but every new chapter of EMB brought in even more comments and kudos. Writer's aren't lying when they say comments help with motivation. Writing the fic would have been fun for me regardless, but it was made even more fun by the fact so many people were talking with me about it and I got to interact with so many Dadrius fans at once. Eventually, my focus shifted from my other fic to EMB, because why wouldn't it? The praise made me feel good, but not only that, I was giving something to people that brought them a lot of joy and comfort. The fic was originally around 25-30 chapters but because so many people ended up liking it, I ended up with the motivation to squeeze even more chapters into it, making it what it is now.

Anyway, on to the fic itself.

I was always a big fan of Darius and Dadrius, even before I immersed myself in fandom. It was inevitable I'd write about it eventually. The only surprising part is that it wasn't the first type of fic I posted.

The AU itself was something that kinda rotated around in my brain for like a solid year before I actually wrote it down. I wondered what their dynamic in canon would have been like if they'd known each other for longer than a few months. It's unknown how long they've known each other in canon, but I was running off the assumption that it hasn't been that long. Even if they knew of each other, I don't think there wasn't much, if any, non work related interaction before Hunter became Coven Head. It would make sense if Belos was keeping him isolated, after all.

Hunter's isolation was kind of the driving point for the overarching plot. He surely didn't enjoy not being allowed to make friends, and so a lonely kid with a desperate need for socialization with someone other than his emotionally distant uncle would be the perfect set up for a story about found family. Hunter needed someone in his life who actually cared about him, and Darius needed someone who could make him realize he wanted to love again after the death of his mentor.

The "mute" nephew idea was mostly because I thought it would lead to funny misinterpretations on Darius' part, but it also does have more significance. Hunter basically has two sides of himself under Belos: Nephew and Golden Guard. With Belos, he only knows how to be one or the other. Hunter wants to be taken seriously as Golden Guard as is worried he won't be if people knew who he was. (Nvm that it doesn't work.) He'd just be a nepotism kid to everyone. So, he never takes off the mask as Golden Guard and never speaks as Hunter so no one can recognize his voice. This means, however, that no matter who he is in the moment, he can never fully be himself. No matter what, he's lost some aspect of his identity.

After meeting Darius, Hunter's priorities get flipped. Darius already hates the Golden Guard, so now Hunter's goal is to make sure Darius doesn't find out Hunter is the Golden Guard. With everyone else, he was craving a sense of authority, but Darius ended up giving him a taste of what it was like to have a friend, and he was more terrified of losing that.

On Darius' side, I wanted to write about a man who lost someone he loved and in response, chose to give up. His mentor's death made him into a repressed shell of a man who was too scared to get close to anyone new ever again. Then, he meets a random kid who won't leave him alone and ends up worming his way into his cold, dead heart enough to slowly warm it back up without Darius even realizing until it was too late. The thing is, it didn't even take all that much for Hunter to do that. I like to think Darius likes to act tough and nonchalant a lot of the time, but he's inherently a very soft and caring person, even if he doesn't want to be at first.

The fic (and my writing skills) are far from perfect but despite that, Effortlessly My Baby is always going to have a special place in my heart. I was very sad to have to end it but at the same time, every story needs to end eventually. I can't just keep them going forever. I'm always grateful to everyone who read it and I hope it brings people joy for years to come.

[random-introverted-blog]

I suppose you want to hear about...

Me! Hi!

So first things first, what is this blog? Despite this name, it's actually Not a Shadowheart exclusive BG3 blog. The name is just a play on a joke I made with some friends that there is a DEEP lack of Dark Justiciar Shadowheart and Dark/Jealous/Possessive content for her. While I, of course, get and love our precious, wholesome Selunite baby, there's a lot of untapped potential for her Sharran Side. There's already a whole post I made on why I think you can definitely pull off a Yandere/Obsessive Shadowheart if you're interested. Can find that post Here, if you're interested.

This blog will be

Astarion and Shadowheart focused. BG3 blog maybe a random aside thought?

Not everything will be Yandere/Dark

I would like to be heralded as a Meme Queen, thank you

YES, I write fanfiction too, there's no escaping us.

I have SO many prompts/ideas/drabbles to share with you guys too

Maybe an opinion or such, like the Yandere Shadowheart post

Requests? Don't trust myself to do them in a timely manner. Suggestions of things to write? All for those, hmu girlies

I write a longfic on AO3 called I Want To Live. You can find me... Here!

I also now write a story called His Star - His Queen and that can be found... Here! Or if you prefer to continue reading on Tumblr I have a master page I call the Chapter Index and the link can be found... Here!

My Tumblr name is different from my AO3. I have yet to transplant my drabbles to my AO3 but if you want to stalk and stare at the relative void of my page, you can find me Here! My name there is A Random Introvert.

My inbox is open in case you guys aren't aware. There's really no limit on what you could send in that I won't reply to.

My Masterlist can be found here!

If I'm perfectly honest?

I'm actually a Spawn!Astarion simp more

ALRIGHT PUT DOWN THE PITCHFORKS I'M JUST BEING TRANSPARENT HERE.

But I've always had a weakness for dark romance, yandere content, obsessive/possessive/jealous content, and Ascended!Astarion has that in SPADES. So does Sharran!Shadowheart and DarkJusticiar!Shadowheart just saying.

Hence why the profile picture and banner feature Astarion and Shadowheart. This blog is for both of them, as I simp both.

Now not to come across condescending or anything, I know most people are aware what a yandere is. But just in case there are some newbies/uninitiated in this sacred, unholy character trope. Never want people to feel awkward or unwelcome or even ashamed they don't know something.

There are many other tropes that tend to be interwoven into a yandere. It's hardly ever their only trait. You can learn the rest by reading that, and your own research.

Look, I may be a Spawn!Astarion simp but I'm very staunch in my belief.

This is above all a No Judgement - No Shame blog

We can all enjoy ascended Astarion or Obsessive Shadowheart or whoever else you want to make a dark character. We can, because we can all acknowledge that no one in a healthy frame of mind would actually want to be with a Yandere in real life. But here, in text and words, we can enjoy it for what it is. A fantasy. I have a partner (hi babe) who is the complete antithesis of a yandere. I am actively writing a double Yandere electric boogaloo fic on AO3. Which they actively read and I talk about often. Doesn't change that I want a healthy relationship. And if I ever got a hint that they were recreating the scenes I was writing, I would ***SPOILERS*** drop faster than Shadowheart's parents when she kills them that's dark and I'm not sorry nor feel bad for it ***END SPOILERS**

That said; I welcome you to this little blog of mine and wish to be welcomed to this fandom if you would let me.

I think we're going to have a lot of fun together