#and with longfics i mean i do have to say most of them in my head already have plots decades ahead from the starting point

[beastsovrevelation]

I do wish I was more active, with original posts, not just reblogs, but most of what I have to say is about my fics... That aren't upload-ready at all.

[openphrase123]

so i've got three fics that are in what i call "long outline" stage, where a couple chapters are written and the rest is all/mostly plotted out. when i'm done with curtain call i'll probably wait a month or so and then start posting one of them but i Cannot Decide which one to start with. i want to write all of these at some point but i need a Starting Point. please advise. i have decision fatigue

i elaborate on all the options below so if you need to be Sold on any of these keep scrolling. but also if you want maximum chaos and surprise just vote without expanding >:3

no nuance button no chef's choice button. if the chef had a choice he would have choosened it by now. i'm Indecisive please help

propaganda for all the options under the cut

the 20 years later fic is so messy i can't overstate it. i mean that in a good way. very popcorn drama. siffrin and loop haven't seen each other in 20 years but they need to figure out who in the family is harboring a secret regret that's trapping them in a new loop. everyone's over their problems from canon but i give them all NEW problems like osteoporosis and work-life imbalances. bonnie's the only one who ever went to real therapy in two decades and it Shows

the isabeau timeloop fic is probably the most angst out of the three of these??? but it's not a walking sadfest i know how to balance the vibes. it's not Primarily a romance fic but let's face it gamers. this is an isabeau pov. it's like 40% gay longing and you know this. the other 60% tries to solve the question of "would siffrin still be trapped in the loops if they told literally anyone about them at any time" and with the power of miscommunication and self sabotage. i'm pleased to say that answer is YES

the loop one is very prince-and-the-pauper to me. it's set in 1hat in a playthrough of isat that ended on a low loop number. this is both the healthiest and most toxic way for loop to heal postcanon in my heart. siffrin is not here this is NOT about him. he's fine though. it's just that i categorically don't think loop could heal and move on from the loops if siffrin's right over their shoulder being like "hiii do you want to Talk" no you have to TRAP loop into therapy

if you're reading this and going "all of these sound absolutely insane what are you doing" i'm doing My Best <3 all of them have the same general tone as my other fics so if you're like "i like that idea but that sounds too depressing" FEAR NOT. it's the exact same amount of depressing as curtain call and/or inutile

[fangswbenefits]

ruby i need help writing sexy smut please

Okay! This one might be long, so buckle up:

(also, this is just my personal preference and how I approach smut)

I like to separate smut into two categories: the emotionally charged one and the more technical/physical one.

Ideally, you'd want around 50/50 of each, but that will always depend on what you're trying to achieve.

Example:

- When I write oneshots, I tend to go for the physicality of it as I'm usually exploring tropes/kinks in under 3k words. I will describe what's going on with their bodies and how they explore each other physically and react to thos (possibly) new kink. This is not to say my oneshots are void of emotions from whichever character's POV I choose. I still dive briefly into their emotions as a means to contextualise the scene and set the pace. I'd say it's around 80/20.

- For longfics (such as The Arrangement), it's paramount that I prioritise emotions and feelings while pairing it with the act itself. Since I'm writing from Tav's POV, it's important to show readers how she feels about them being together so intimately again. And I don't mean how she feels about having his fingers inside her, for example, but rather how the entire moment feels. It's about exploring body and mind, if you will. I try to keep it at 50/50, but it depends on the context of the scene itself.

Now, with that out of the way: more is more. Describe everything that feels appropriate. Sure, if you just mean to rush through the scene, there is no need and no one will dislike it for it. But if you want that added layer of emersion (which, to me, is essential) then you should try to describe the act itself.

Case in point:

- He undid your shirt and gazed at the exposed skin.

vs

- His fingers moved to the top button of your shirt, undoing it slowly as his hand travelled down your torso, working on exposing your flushed skin to his prying gaze with each expert tug.

See the difference? Which one do you enjoy the most? The first example can be used. This is not right vs wrong. I am simply showing how more is more when it comes to smut. Again it will always depend on what you're trying to achieve and how comfortable you feel. Some people just want to rush through the smut scenes.

Hope this helps 🩷

[corviiids]

I really liked your analysis on the “core” of both Joker and Akechi. I agree that neither the detective prince or the black mask “is” Akechi at his core; but rather, he’s fractured. My question to you is, do you think we ever see the “true” Goro Akechi within the canon? It is my opinion that we do likely in Rank 6 just for a little bit and in fragments during the engine room. And by that logic, what do you think the “true” Akechi would be like in a post canon scenario where the DP/BM are gone?

thank you so much and really good question. in my personal opinion we definitely see parts of his sincere self but there's sort of an asterisk attached to that (ill expand) and more importantly even in those truthful moments we never really see the Whole of him because as i said before i don't think his sense of self is really collected enough into a unified whole to be able to show it off even if he wanted to, at least at that point in his life

im like turning this question over in my hands bc im about to go into a bunch of this stuff in the next chapter of my longfic and i dont want to just say the same thing twice, but basically (this time it isn't as long thank god. it's still a bit long)

i think even in the moments akechi is letting you see him in canon such as in rank 6 (and i think you're right i do think at rank 6 he's exposing a bit of himself to you. most of himself. all of himself. he is naked) he's doing so deliberately, because unveiling a bit of truth is a very potent tool in trying to get someone's trust (in this case ren's) and convincing them to swallow the rest of a lie. so while he's showing you something real, i think his intentions are still very guarded, so i would still say he's holding up a facade at that point

black mask in the engine room is more complicated because i think that's the closest he gets to being unguarded during canon. look it's like multilayered because i think when he's being the detective prince he's aware that he's being false because he's doing it on purpose, but when he's the black mask he's much less aware because at that point the insincerity is just something that's built into his understanding of himself so it becomes less a deliberate facade and more a failure to comprehend who he is on an internal level? so i think as black mask in the engine room he's not lying to you anymore. he's just not like... self-actualised enough that we can really call the black mask the "whole" of who goro akechi is, because he sees himself as a villain with an expiration date and so he's kind of deliberately made his self-understanding quite shallow. but it's close. i think that's the most sincere he ever intentionally gets.

re: postcanon - this is really interesting to mull over because i think generally people agree that third semester akechi is like, again, as close as we can get to akechi not masking around you. but i also think that's mostly just because he's being mean, and it's easier to buy meanness as sincerity than niceness. im going into this in the next chapter too i have to figure out how to reword this

but akechi in third sem IS masking. akechi in third sem is a man who thinks he's dead. that expressionlessness isn't just him not bothering to put the smile on anymore, it's him coating his entire existence in a layer of nihilism and apathy because in his mind he doesn't exist anymore and how are you meant to cope with that? it's definitely still more sincere than the detective prince, and i think it's closer to what his personality would be removed from his circumstances. well, that raises another question on a more abstract level LOL about how much of a person's personality IS just... reactivity to circumstances. like is it even meaningful to ask this question? is it useful to try and remove someone into a contextless vacuum to determine their "true self". i think no so to what point is it relevant to try and determine which of a person's circumstances are sufficiently extreme that they should be considered outliers and at what point does it just become a futile exercise in trying to achieve, like, the character equivalent of nagel's view from nowhere I'M GETTING OFF TRACK THI SISNT WHAT YOU ASKED

THE POINT IS. postcanon i think we could expect akechi to resemble his third sem self to an extent but i think a little less blank, a little more reactive and emotional. furthermore i think even when the detective prince and the black mask are gone as conscious masks elements of those personalities would still remain in akechi's character, like, i still think he'd do the ^_^ in public, i still think he'd be unhinged when context allows, because i very firmly believe that (not just for akechi but for everyone in general, but especially for akechi) the choices you make when you're masking and those masks that you wear ARE part of your true self and not just a disguise this is going to show up in longfic too

so i think akechi goro is a liar, he's a performer, he's ruthless, he's flat and dry, he knows how to play the game. he was once idealistic and it's crossed into bitterness so he reacts to his circumstances with cynicism and impatience. he's guarded and carefully filtered in most situations, but in familiar situations where he feels he doesn't have too much to lose (eg with the few people he thinks he can mostly trust) he's smug and cutting and doesnt suffer fools easily. he doesnt pull punches, but dont mistake the bluntness for honesty. i think to akechi truth and information and vulnerability will always be a weapon

[aithusarosekiller]

HGIHIHIII U SEEM NICE AND ALSO COOL SO HIII :D

DO U HAVE ANY JEGULILY HCS?? I SAW U LIKED THEM IN ANOTHRR POST!!

HI HI HI HI I AM LITERALLY SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY I KEPT HAVING IDEAS THEN GETTING DISTRACTED AND AAAAAAAAA I AM HERE NOW!!!

Yes I absolutely doooooo, they are my babies and I will gladly share everything I think about them don't you even worry!

ALSO before anyone wastes time whining that jily is tagged here, there are literally jily hcs in the post and I always tag correctly so if it bothers you so much, go to settings and filter out the jegulily tag and then it's gone x

OKAY

- I love the idea that Regulus used family heirlooms in order to make promise rings for both of them because his ancestors would absolutely hate it and sometimes he feels like he has to prove that part of his past wrong and keep pushing back to remind himself that who he was brainwashed to be is NOT who he is. It it actually Lily who suggests reusing heirlooms to give them a new meaning as an idea and he decides to do it and use them as a way to promise to spend his life with them. He's a romantic, what can I say! (in fact, in the longfic I'm planning, Lily having the black signet ring is a recurring feature with quite a lot of weight!) despite Regulus being the one with the promise rings, it is Lily who proposes (it is ALWAYS Lily no matter who I ship her with) and then because they're all for equality in their relationship it's James who announces the wedding and asks Lily's parents and Sirius/Narcissa for permission to marry them. I just love married jegulily idk

- Regulily watch the most disturbing shows together in the middle of the night to the point where James has to go to bed early to miss them or he can't sleep. Eventually they convince him to stay downstairs and just listen to music in his earphones while laying across their laps but he refuses to watch the screen. During the day he's the biggest, toughest guy imaginable. Nothing can phase him at all. But after midnight? ABSOLUTELY NOT. He almost turns into a completely different person. It is not helped by the folk tales Fleamont told him as a kid to mess with him, not realising just how much they would stick with him in years to come.

- James cooks dinner, Lily makes dessert, Regulus cleans. You just know Lily makes the best apple pie with the lattice top and everything 🙏 James can do pretty much anything well, and Regulus is decent at both but doesn't really enjoy it so he does all the washing up because he likes the way it gives him time to stare into the water and think

- not much to this one but I love them being T4T4T SOOOOO much! They're the transest trio ever. They just are sorry, I know because I am trans so I'm allowed to spread it around wherever I want 🤷‍♂️

- Lily gets really warm and stressed under too much physical contact. If they're all cuddled together she'll be on the outside with Reg's face in her neck and one of James' hands on her waist but most of the time she'll only pick one of them to cuddle up to so she doesn't get overwhelmed. Regulus is always in the middle, he's touch starved to the point where refusing to hug him is like kicking a puppy

- In an au where their all raise Harry together, he's the biggest mummy's boy. There is NO way Lily isn't his favourite parent. It's always 'where's mum?' 'If mummy was here-' 'I miss mummy' she pretends to feel bad for them both but secretly loves it

- James falls asleep ANYWHERE. It's not rare at all to find him curled up on the floor while sorting laundry or snoozing in the passenger seat on a short drive. He's also a very deep sleeper, so they'll just give him a little kiss on the head, take a photo for the growing collection there saving for his 50th birthday, and cover him with a blanket.

- James and Lily go to concerts together. It's one of their favourite types of date. James and Regulus go to the cinema (Lily got them into films and they have never looked back some) and Regulus and Lily adore going to the theatre. They all like going to museums together.

- for their first anniversary, Peter got them a little orange tree that everyone expected Lily to care for the most bc she'd always been really good in jerbologj so they're all surprised when it becomes Regulus' little baby with only the best fertiliser and plant food that he forces James to get whenever he passes through Diagon.

- Every morning Reg and Lily sit and do the sudoku together

- Whenever James spends time out of the country, he'll bring back something nice for each of his friends and partners (it's his love language!) he puts so much thought into into each one that sometimes he'll dedicate an entire day of the trip to finding the perfect gift for each person

[xx-vergil-xx]

regarding hounds

realizing now that that’s maybe a somewhat ominous way to start a non-ominous post but onward and upward

hello lovely people who are following me, in particular those of you following for hounds — i wanted to say, first, that your love and enthusiasm and support continue to be one of the great wonders and joys of my life, and even when i am away from you i think of you often. with utmost and genuine sincerity, thank you <3

second: ! i am finishing hounds !

the perils of post-grad and a rampant new fixation on another project that i hope, someday, will be Published Like In A Barnes And Noble Shelf Way, have intervened, as they often do. i think maybe that’s been for the best — in the back of my mind, hounds pt II has been left to percolate, which means that it’s going to end up being far more well thought out than it might have been off the bat.

but knowing me myself, i think the best way for me to get that work to you is to write it all — the remaining 14 chapters (jesus christ here at hounds inc we put the long in longfic) — and then post it, regularly, editing upcoming chapters between posts but having them locked and loaded and ready to get out there. i’m not actually sure how long this will take me? i’ve got a non-negligible chunk of ch 43 done and a scene from 49 that’s been lurking for eternity, but i actually don’t know how long most of these chapters might ultimately shake out to be?

anyways — i’ve been off of here for a Hot Minute and i just felt it was past due that i update any interested parties on the state of affairs. tl;dr — hounds is getting done! might just be a sec :)

thank you, again, from the bottom of my heart, for hanging out with me. love y’all <3

xoxo verg

[kingwuko]

so, random writer question. how do you manage writing so many multi chapter fics at the same time? i feel like you update them all pretty frequently. any tips for writing multiple fics at once?

Hello anon! Wow!! I am really flattered that you sent me this! For one thing, thank you for saying it feels like I update all my fics pretty frequently! I sometimes feel like I'm not updating often enough, so hearing someone say that actually makes me feel good about the frequency I update.

As for the question, how do I manage it and if I have any tips, I will definitely try to share what has been working for me so far. It's long. I'm sorry 🤣

First of all, I really need to credit a different fic writer from a different fandom. @pikapeppa is a fanfic author that I really look up to in terms of her writing style, her update consistency, and for finishing multi chaptered longfics. When I was trying to steel myself for writing Secret, I sent her a asks and she gave helpful advice! She has writing tutorials if you want to check them out.

I also posed a similar question to her about juggling multiple fics at once, and she gave some really kind advice about not giving in to hustle culture and just writing what makes me excited instead of worrying about update frequency!

So, for me, these are the things that help me with juggling all these fics:

1. Taking care of my mental health

I have always love writing, but when I'm in a bad place mentally, it's not happening. I've come a long way and figured out what I needed. When my mental health is well managed, I find joy in writing which is crucial for me to, well, write!

2. Organization

Okay I feel like there might be a better word because I'm like, the least organized person in the world. But, what I really mean is, I keep all my fics separated and labeled in my Google drive. I have folders nested inside folders and do my best to label all my folders and docs. That way I can keep things together that I need for each fic, and I can easily open and reference anything I need.

For example:

This is mostly because I have different back stories and headcanons for each fic, so this helps me keep it all straight. It also makes it quick and easy to look stuff up. I have transcripts saved and an outline and an idea dump where I can look if I need help.

3. Deciding which fic to focus on

This is tricky because I feel like I'm still figuring this out myself. At first I was forcing myself to to rotate them in order, now (at the advice of @pikapeppa ) I write whichever fic I'm most excited about. This is working better for me. I need to shift my mindset when I work on a different fic, because my fics have different tones. If I force myself to shift mindsets, it's trickier. If I just do what I'm most excited about, it feels more natural to get into the right mindset and I write faster! That includes my one shots. Sometimes I'm not working on the next chapter. Sometimes a one shot has my attention.

Comments, asks, and discussions in my discord group actually influence what I'm excited about quite a bit! So if you notice it's been a while since I've updated something, and you comment on it, there's a good chance it'll give me that dopamine rush to naturally shift back to that fic haha.

I also don't reply to comments on the latest chapter until I've posted the next one. It's kind of a carrot on a stick for myself. If I make myself wait to reply til I post the next chapter, it's another incentive that helps me get excited!

4. Writing

I'm so sorry to say this. But in order to write fics, you have to. Well. Write. I know this is very upsetting for me to hear sometimes. 🤣

Theres tons of posts out there about how to write if you're struggling or you're stuck. I'm sure they have better advice than I do. But what works for me are the following things:

Outline, then write the chapters in order. Some people prefer to write out of order, to write the scenes they're excited first. But for me, writing in order gives me something to look forward to. It's easier to get through the less exciting but crucial scenes and chapters if I know I have a really fun scene right around the corner.

Write badly. My first drafts are pretty rough. There's lots of cringe. Terrible grammar. Incomprehensible sentences. Weird ideas that sounded good in my head but just do not work in writing. Sometimes I don't even know what I want to say, and I just throw some brackets in: [transition here]. For dialogue I'll write it in script form first before adding dialogue tags. Honestly once you get past the uncomfortableness of writing badly, it gets easy. It's word vomit. But guess what, no one has to see it but me!

Write whenever the mood strikes (as long as it's safe to do so). I figured out pretty quick that if I didn't jot ideas down when they hit me, they'll be gone later. If I waited to write until I had the perfect environment, I would never get any writing done (I have four kids and job, my environment is never perfect for writing 😅). This is why I write in Google docs. I can write on my computer (which I prefer) but I can also write ANYWHERE on my phone. I tend to do quite a bit of micro writing throughout the day. Between clients at work. Waiting in the school pickup line. Laying in bed before I fall asleep. Taking a walk (carefully and in a low/no car traffic path!) any moments throughout the day that I get a few minutes of peace and quiet. Just don't write when you're driving obviously 🤣

Edit when I am feeling good. All those brackets I throw in have to get resolved eventually. If I go through and edit when I'm feeling really good and focused, it's much easier. If I try to edit when I'm distracted or having a bad day, it's probably not gonna be great or I'll probably get stuck and struggle.

Use a beta reader. Okay. Listen. There are a million fics out there that aren't beta read. Obviously tons of writers do great without them. Not me. In addition to the fact that having a beta reader just makes my work more polished and understandable, it also gives me some external accountability. My beta reader, @badgermolebender, doesn't even really do anything extra to encourage me to write, it's just KNOWING that they're there, for some reason, helps me to write. And there are plenty of people out there who will beta read and also gently nudge you to write by checking in occasionally. 'hey how's the next chapter coming along? Need to bounce some ideas around? Let me know!' (psst if you want a beta reader for a Wuko fic, or any Lok fic, I'm available!!!! Even other fandoms if I know them!)

5. Be kind to myself.

Writing fanfic is a hobby. It's supposed to be enjoyable, for the most part! We can't hold ourselves to the same standards as people who write novels for a living. They have editors, they get paid for publishing, they have deadlines pushing them forward; and I'm sure other things I don't know about because I don't write novels for a living!!! We just have our fandom community and our free time. So we aren't going to be churning out novel length fics as quickly as R.L. Stine. You'll have gaps where life got in the way and a fic gets put on hold. It's fine. Just pick it back up when you can.

I have no idea if any of that is helpful, but that's my writing method these days. Look, I'm just a boring thirty-something trying to live my best life after neglecting myself in my twenties. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm having fun!

[yandecifi]

What It Means to Be Made of Stardust

☆ chapter eight

⋆ masterlist

⋆ cw: child abuse, sa, mental illness

hawks/reader, psychological, wip longfic

There are days you spend sitting outside your apartment door, school bag at your side, leaning against the concrete walls. Or maybe you’re laying on your stomach as you work on your homework, legs kicking in the air, elbows perching you up and scraping against the ground. Your neighbors walk past occasionally. Some say hi, some glance at you and turn away.

Dad asks you what you’re doing, laying on the ground outside his apartment, because it’s weird. It’s embarrassing. What’s he doing letting his kid roll around outside with all the neighbors watching? They’ll judge him and think he’s a bad father. And, what, do you hate him or something? Why can’t you just sit inside like somebody normal, talk to him, ask him how his day was? You’re so thoughtless, so rude. Why’s he been given a child like you?

You sit at the dinner table with your homework spread out. Your knees knock together as they jostle, your blood is fizzing up like soda. Dad wanders through the kitchen.

“I love you, you know that?”

“Uh-huh.”

Dad pulls something out of the fridge. A beer, probably, but the air has turned sour. The words on your homework start to fuzz.

“You know what that means?”

“Um, haha, maybe.”

“I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to go through what I have, I’m not going to do to you what my parents did to me.”

“I - um, okay.”

He’s silent for a beat. Your fingers tremble, your knees still, you can’t even swallow.

“And, you don’t know this yet,” he starts again, “but most people don’t mean it like I do. To other people, throughout my life, it means -- it means, ‘I want something from you, and saying I love you is how I’ll get it’. You haven’t experienced that, so you don’t get it, I know -- but you’ll meet people like that. Most people are like that.”

“Can I just do my homework?”

It’s quiet except for the buzzing in your head.

And then, Dad slams his hands on the kitchen countertop and the whole thing snaps like a taut rubber band — you’re jumping up and bolting out the door. It’s only a moment before he’s on your heels, skidding around the corners of the apartment stairwell with you, shouting and screaming at you from the parking lot.

But you’re already halfway to the moon, the air hot in your lungs, your feet a blur beneath you. Moments like these are the closest you can get to flying — when you’re running who knows where, too fast for him to catch.

Your favorite nights were spent outside with stolen chips and coke. The grin you had sitting on some bench and popping those cans open, licking the salt from your fingers, was bigger than any bruise.

☆

The sky is blue.

You’re laying in the grass with your classmates. It’s one of campus’s many lawns, all well kept and green despite winter creeping in. Grass tickles your arms and ankles with every twitch. It smells freshly cut. Your jeans are probably stained green.

It’s Mina and the rest of her usual group that’s sitting with you. They’re sitting in a circle, cross-legged and yapping. They’re eating fast food: neon slushies and tacos. You snorted your pain meds.

Clouds float far above you and yet you’re right there with them. You reach your hand out and grab at them.

“Girl, you tryna be all main character or something?”

You roll your head over at Mina and her friends. Mina grins down at you between bites and slurps. Bakugo’s glaring at you. Kirishima doesn’t meet your eye. Denki keeps talking with Sero like you aren’t there.

You roll right on back to the sky.

“Girl?”

“Mhm?”

“Where’ve you been, lately?”

“Living with Aizawa.”

“I -- yeah, I know. I mean, like, ummm, even when you’re with us, you’re not.”

“Uhhhhh.” You shut your eyes as you force yourself to sit up. Your brain feels full of blood, hot, sloshing. Everything tingles. You rub your face. “Sorry, I’m just tired.”

“Oh. Want some of my baja?”

“No, no. Thanks, though.” The grass is spray paint green. You blink. “The sky is really pretty.”

Mina giggles like she always does, eyes crinkling up in the corners, cheeks round and strained with her smile. You’ve never met anybody as happy as her. She has to be lying.

“It’s even prettier with some baja and tacos!”

You stare at the chemically colored slush in her hand. It’s as stupidly green as the grass. You lean over and slurp from the straw. The cold meets your tongue and it tingles, weirdly enough. You swallow and lay back down and you smile.

“That tasted like chemicals, Mina.”

“Bitch, be so for fucking real. I’ve seen you take edibles like they’re candy. And I’m not even gonna start with the drunk vaping.”

“Okay, okay.” You swat Mina’s offering of more baja away. “It definitely tasted better than any edible I’ve had.”

“Damn straight.”

Mina shuffles over to you and then collapses in the grass at your side, joining you in cloud gazing. She sluuuurps.

You side eye Mina. She notices. You grin. She grins. She wriggles closer until you’re both practically touching noses.

“What?” She whispers, eyes gleaming with mischief.

“I snorted my meds,” you whisper back.

Mina blinks. She opens her mouth to say something. She closes it. Her smile falters. She looks away. She looks back at you. Her face contorts in confusion and she sits up a little.

“You what?”

You remain very still. “I’m joking.”

“No the fuck you aren’t.”

“I am.”

“Show me your eyes.”

“No.”

“Show me --”

“No!”

“If you don’t --”

“No!”

“Fine!”

Mina lays back down with a huff, arms crossed. The boys are staring at the two of you. You flip them off. They all exchange glances and Mina yanks your arm down.

“Girl, what?” Mina turns so that the two of you are nose-to-nose again. You smile. “Weed, getting drunk, and the occasional pen is one thing. Snorting random pills is another. What were you thinking? How much did you take?”

“They’re not random, I was prescribed them --”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Sorry.” You swallow. “I don’t know, I just crushed one of the pills on my desk and snorted it. I don’t know why.”

“Nobody does shit like that just because. Why?”

“I really, honestly don’t know. I guess I just wanted to see if things would change.”

“The stuff with your Dad?”

“No, I mean, I know nothing’s changing that. I just mean… I don’t know.”

“Your depression?”

You squint. The pamphlet and the conversation in her room flashes through your mind.

“I guess? I’m not, like, diagnosed with that, though.”

“I feel like we’re past that point.”

“I don’t know.” You find yourself staring into her eyes, searching, looking at the person there. This one is new. “I’m sorry.”

Mina gives you something like a smile. She doesn’t look right unhappy.

“It’s okay. Just know I’m always here to talk, okay? And can you please promise me you won’t mess with your meds again? I’ll literally buy you alc if you don’t.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Her eyes are pretty like amber in the sunlight. “You don’t have to buy me alc.”

Mina lays on top of you in a dogpile-esque hug. You wrap your arms around her torso and, despite feeling like you’re being crushed, you also feel like you’re being loved. The two often seem to be intertwined.

“Mina?”

“Yeah?”

“I just feel like I’m in some sort of limbo.”

“What? Like, the game?”

“No, what?” You laugh and she moves with your chest. “Like the space between heaven and hell. But like it’s not Earth.”

“...”

“Like where ghosts are? I’m wherever the ghosts are.”

“Okay.” She raises her head to look at you. “Do you mean this as in wanting to…?”

“No, no, not like that! I’m just in some kind of in between. I’m stuck.”

“You don’t feel real?”

You blink. “Yeah.”

Kirishima all of a sudden jumps up and starts screaming and waving at somebody. You and Mina sit up to see Aizawa on the sidewalk a little ways away, a group of first years on his heels.

“Oh. I thought he didn’t come to campus on weekends?” Mina slides off of you to sit properly, watching your teacher all the while.

“He’s the chaperone for the martial arts club.”

Aizawa waves at all of you. You fester.

-------------------------------------

Leaning against the hood of Aizawa’s car, you realize you don’t know how you got here.

You zip your jacket up to your chin, burrow yourself in it. You want to drink something. Or smoke. Or sleep.

“Had a picnic with your friends?”

Aizawa strolls up to you with his own jacket on, black and baggy. You hop up, stare at the zipper, the wrinkles.

The wind bites at your cheeks and you fidget with the hood you’re wearing to cover the st--

“Did you have fun?” Aizawa blinks at you from beneath his mess of hair.

You murmur something in the affirmative.

Aizawa nods slowly, like he’s going to say more. He doesn’t. You both get in the car.

When the two of you get to his house, Aizawa makes tea. He asks you to sit down at the dinner table and if you like English breakfast. He’s not really asking.

When your teacher sits next to you, fragrant black swirling in both your mugs, you start to huff uncomfortably. Your skin is too tight around your throat. Aizawa clears his own.

“How are your sessions with Hound Dog?”

You shrug, rub your neck, stare at your lap.

“Do they help,” he elaborates, pushing, staring, “at all?”

“Sure.”

“Sure?”

You cross your arms. “What else am I supposed to say?”

“The truth. Be honest.”

He says it like it’s easy.

Something touches your feet from beneath the table. You lean back and it’s Kitty skulking about, tail slithering past your ankle.

“Oh, he likes you.” Aizawa chuckles. “How unusual.”

You stare at your teacher while he watches Kitty. The blemishes, wrinkles, and scars on his face, the beard he can’t seem to grow nor get rid of, the smile you’ve hardly seen in your three years of knowing him. His eyes flick to yours. You take a sip of tea.

“Principal Nedzu informed me of his decision regarding your enrollment.”

You shift in your seat. “Okay.”

“Because you can’t keep up with tuition for the foreseeable future, we’ve decided to drop you as a student for the time being.” Aizawa says, careful, all sugar coated and pretty. “There are scholarships we have that can help cover the costs, but your grades aren’t within the competitive range.”

You can’t even hear your heartbeat anymore. It’s just the crumbling.

“My recommendation is to work through your current situation and health issues before continuing with herowork.”

Your current situation? Your health issues? This situation is your entire life. Your ‘health’ issues are ingrained in you as deeply as the ability to walk or breathe.

You turn eighteen in a couple of months and Aizawa won’t have to house you anymore. Then again, that might not end up being a problem.

“What if my Dad gets let out?” You try, palming your cup of tea. “I’ll get him to pay for it. I will.”

Aizawa leans forward in his seat. “As far as I can tell, he’s going to go to prison. They have witnesses and the evidence is all there. And the fact you’re about to turn into an adult means they’re not worried about displacing a child.”

Your neighbors called the cops with every other screaming match you had and all you ever got out of it was a beating. You went to school smelling like garbage, you slept outside, you had bruises. Does anybody know how badly you wanted somebody to just say something back then? Why didn’t they? Why now?

You already moved on. You were fine, you were handling everything fine, you had a fucking life for once, you were making something of yourself despite everything. You did this all yourself. This was yours, not your father’s, and they’re still taking it away from you.

You stare at your palms, the calluses, the scars.

“But, it’s not my fault.”

Aizawa’s as surreal and still as always. “I know.”

Your skin prickles with the black outside that broad, glass wall. The chair you’re sitting in creaks as you lean back in it, a lump in your throat. Your fingers tap on the table, quick. You watch them drum like little soldiers, like rain.

☆

Your dorm is empty except for your desk, bed, and chair.

You stuffed your bedsheets into yet another trash bag. You threw all your clothes into two others. Everything else, all your knick-knacks and snacks and school stuff, are jumbled together in the garbage bag you’re hauling towards the dumpster. Is your vomit still there, or has a week already gone by?

Every night on Aizawa’s couch, you wake up to your father’s footsteps. When you hone in on the sound, you hear him muttering. You shut your eyes tight and tell yourself it’s not real, but what if it is? You told yourself the same thing when it was.

You throw your garbage into the dumpster and something shatters. You turn around and walk away.

It’s the weekend and Mina and her friends are nowhere to be found. You’d usually bump into them in the elevator by now, or the commons, or by walking around campus, or they’d come find you -- but today there’s nothing. You haven’t told them you’re leaving yet.

They’ve been talking about you, you’re certain of it. Every time you meet up with them they give each other odd looks or sneak glances at you like there’s something on your face. Hawks was right.

You drag the rest of your shit from your dorm to the elevator. You press the first floor and wait as you travel down, down, down. The doors open. You hold one trash bag in each hand and kick the final one out the elevator and into the commons, keep kicking it forward every couple of steps. So, this is what all of your efforts have come to.

You kick the bag through the front door. The star Altair is seventeen light years away, which means you’re still in the womb there, that nothing bad has happened to you.

You kick the bag down the steps. Your mother’s in the air, somewhere, and even then you’ve probably never breathed her.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. People take parts of you and then leave to places where you can’t find them.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. Why couldn’t the two of you have had just one more meaningless conversation?

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. Does she think about you when she folds her clothes?

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. It’s about the oranges she peeled for you.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. She never even told you why.

“Fuck’re you doing?”

You jerk your head up to see Bakugo standing in front of you, narrowed eyes flitting from each trash bag to your crumpled face.

“Taking out the trash.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Can you just leave me alone?” You snap, making your way around him with some extra kicks. He turns to watch you do each one.

“What, did you dismember someone or something?” Bakugo snatches the bag from your feet, falling into step with you.

“No.” You trudge along, trash bags swinging awkwardly in your hands. “I don’t need help.”

“Yeah, well, you looked retarded.”

“You can’t say that.”

“I think the retards out there would give me a pass if they saw you.”

“Bakugo!” You laugh, the urge to smack him on the arm squashed by your bags. “Seriously?”

He cracks a smile. “What? It’s true.”

You sigh. “Where is everybody?”

“Ramen.” Bakugo looks at you funny. “It’s Sunday.”

You stare at him before snapping your gaze back to your feet. “Right.”

“You really need to start coming to those.”

You count cracks in the concrete. “You’re here, too.”

“I don’t skip every week, idiot.” He looks around. “We’re going to the parking lot?”

“Uh, yeah.” You jog down the steps leading to the lot, walk along the sidewalk until you reach Aizawa’s car. “You can go.”

Bakugo sets your trash bag down on the ground. “Isn’t that Mr. Aizawa’s car?”

“Who knows.” You put your bags down as well, sit on the curb. “Thanks for carrying my bag.”

Bakugo stands there for a moment. Then, he opens the bag he was carrying, rummages through it.

“What the fuck?” He pulls out one of your shirts and holds it out to you, like he needs to show you the evidence. “You’re moving out?”

You hug your knees to your chest, rest your chin on them.

“Hello? Can I get a fucking answer?”

“Yeah, I fucking am, alright? I’m dropping out.”

Bakugo gawks at you. Like, genuinely, mouth open and brows pinched like you told him to go kill himself.

He swings his arms in loud gestures. “Fuck you mean, dropping out? We graduate in two months!”

“Yeah, I know.” Your jaw clenches. Your brain is thick with something, slime, soju. “I don’t have a choice, okay? My Dad’s gonna go to jail, I can’t afford tuition anymore.”

“They have scholarships, mine’s basically full-ride—”

“Okay, good for fucking you!”

You shift uncomfortably on the curb. A peek at Bakugo shows he’s standing there with clenched fists, feet shifting.

“What is it with you?” He grinds out. “You flip like a goddamn switch. You’re sweet as hell one second, having me thinking I’m okay with rotting my teeth off, and then you act like you can’t stand me. You act like we didn’t make out for two hours and spend the night in your room ‘cuz you begged me not to leave.”

You’re going to rip out your esophagus.

“I was drunk.” It’s creeping up your shoulders, going up your shirt. “I—“ Your brow pinches— “I was drunk.”

“Oh, fuck off, you were tipsy at most.”

“So what?” You glare up at him. Something isn’t right. “It was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Bakugo’s nose wrinkles. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah, I am.” Something isn’t right. “What, you think I’m easy or something?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about! I mean, you tried to get with me the day after I got out of the hospital, like, are you fucking for real?”

“I wasn’t trying anything, you came onto me!”

“Oh, shut up! Just go make one of your fucking smoothies or something.”

Something isn’t right. You huff. Bakugo’s nostrils flare as he stomps towards you, crouches to your level, and grips you by the shoulders.

It’s loud, blaring, and riddled with curses. His fingers are bruising. You frown, shake your head, shake and shake.

You were drunk. But, you’d already told yourself that that didn’t matter, didn’t you?

Glass shatters and you shriek. You cover your face, drop to your knees, but Aizawa is already helping you up.

Something isn’t right. You’re standing with Aizawa in his kitchen. Eri is hiding behind the dinner table.

The glass crunches beneath your feet as you take a step back. Aizawa winces, urges you to calm down, but what if this is like the sounds you hear at night?

Is any of this real? Was that a dream? Is this a dream? What if you’re still bleeding out in the stairwell?

Eri isn’t behind the table anymore. You’re lying on the couch with a blanket over you, the TV flashing with Sailor Moon. Instead of your father’s footsteps, Hawks retches from the next room over.

[perseidlion]

Whenever a fanfic writer laments about dropping engagement and says they wish people left comments like they used to, inevitably someone chimes in to say "just write for yourself!"

That advice has gotten twisted around. It is excellent advice when you're learning how to write because it helps you find your voice and expand your skills. Plus when you write from your heart, you'll tell stories worth telling.

That advice is NOT meant to tell writers they should write with no expectations of getting anything from readers, ever. It just means don't write trying to please someone else, because the story won't be as strong. It's also much harder to get the motivation and gain the discipline to write when you're not writing a story you love. If you don't care about the story, why should your readers?

That is craft advice, not fandom behaviour advice. They're very separate things. There would frankly, be no fanfic community if people didn't write for engagement. The stories would sit forever in documents and not shared if its only purpose was for the writer's own edification.

It isn't an either-or thing. When I choose what to write, I try to find the venn diagram overlap of what I want to write and what I think the fandom will enjoy. If I write something outside of that, then I don't expect the same kind of engagement. I never fully write for myself (then I wouldn't post it) and I never fully write for fandom (because it would probably be a bad story.) There's ground between those two things, and that's where the best stories can often be found.

Writing with an awareness of the audience is a skill worth developing if you are doing more than just chucking out stories for fun (which is also TOTALLY valid and fine.) It's also fair if you don't care about engagement. But it's also not wrong to care about it, either.

Social media and influencer culture has ruined the gift culture of fandom. On Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, etc...the big creators are part of a monetization program and/or they get brand deals. So you just consuming their content does in fact benefit them. Published writers get sales stats and royalties from people reading their work. That is NOT true for fanfic and for Ao3. The only "payment" we can hope to get is that if someone likes our story, they tell us.

When people say they wish readers dropped a comment, we're not necessarily saying we wished more people read our work (that is sort of a given, really. What writer doesn't want to be read more?) What we're saying is that we wish the people who we know are reading our work would take a moment to say thank you. I would never want someone to read my story out of a sense of charity. I want people to read it because they like the concept and my writing.

We're saying that IF you read and enjoyed the story, please tell us. That's all. It doesn't have to be long or involved (and for god's sake, don't leave unsolicited criticism.) Even a 'loved this!' or a string of emojis is welcome.

To put it bluntly, telling writers they should write for themselves when they ask for a thank you if someone read their work is very entitled. It's also a cop-out because it absolves the reader of a small amount of effort and allows them to just consume silently with no guilt. We're not asking for a novel of a comment (though those are very much appreciated!) just a sign that a real human liked it.

This is especially important on long multichapters where you can only leave kudos once. It can get very lonely as a writer when you're 2/3 of the way through and there are few new kudos and few comments. It leaves you wondering if anyone still cares, and it comes at the most challenging part of the fic. I would venture to guess this is when most longfics get abandoned. An easy way to prevent that is just to drop an occasional comment so we know we're not shouting into the void.

A fic is a present a writer gives the community. If you loved the present, it's polite to say thank you. It's 10 seconds of effort on your part for hours of effort on the writer's. That really isn't a lot to ask.

[kipkoh]

please ramble about your ao3 fics!

Not sure if you had a specific fic or topic in mind, but I'm just gonna talk about Effortlessly My Baby since it's my most popular one.

When I get writer's block, I like to take a step back from my current project for a day or two to recoup, and during this time, sometimes I like to write something else entirely to keep up the creativeness. I was working on another longfic as my main project when I started writing Effortlessly My Baby on the side, just as something to do when I got stuck. So, in a way, we can thank my writer's block for EMB.

At some point I'd written so much of it that I just decided to start posting it, because why not? It might have been a side project, but I was still proud of it. At this point in time, I was still not super immersed into the TOH fandom, so I had no idea how big the Dadrius side was initially, and so I was not expecting my fic to get a lot of readers. To my surprise, it did, and I can never express how thankful I am for all the positive reception it received. It even quickly got to the point where EMB was getting far more traction than my main fic. New chapters of my main fic would rarely get any interaction but every new chapter of EMB brought in even more comments and kudos. Writer's aren't lying when they say comments help with motivation. Writing the fic would have been fun for me regardless, but it was made even more fun by the fact so many people were talking with me about it and I got to interact with so many Dadrius fans at once. Eventually, my focus shifted from my other fic to EMB, because why wouldn't it? The praise made me feel good, but not only that, I was giving something to people that brought them a lot of joy and comfort. The fic was originally around 25-30 chapters but because so many people ended up liking it, I ended up with the motivation to squeeze even more chapters into it, making it what it is now.

Anyway, on to the fic itself.

I was always a big fan of Darius and Dadrius, even before I immersed myself in fandom. It was inevitable I'd write about it eventually. The only surprising part is that it wasn't the first type of fic I posted.

The AU itself was something that kinda rotated around in my brain for like a solid year before I actually wrote it down. I wondered what their dynamic in canon would have been like if they'd known each other for longer than a few months. It's unknown how long they've known each other in canon, but I was running off the assumption that it hasn't been that long. Even if they knew of each other, I don't think there wasn't much, if any, non work related interaction before Hunter became Coven Head. It would make sense if Belos was keeping him isolated, after all.

Hunter's isolation was kind of the driving point for the overarching plot. He surely didn't enjoy not being allowed to make friends, and so a lonely kid with a desperate need for socialization with someone other than his emotionally distant uncle would be the perfect set up for a story about found family. Hunter needed someone in his life who actually cared about him, and Darius needed someone who could make him realize he wanted to love again after the death of his mentor.

The "mute" nephew idea was mostly because I thought it would lead to funny misinterpretations on Darius' part, but it also does have more significance. Hunter basically has two sides of himself under Belos: Nephew and Golden Guard. With Belos, he only knows how to be one or the other. Hunter wants to be taken seriously as Golden Guard as is worried he won't be if people knew who he was. (Nvm that it doesn't work.) He'd just be a nepotism kid to everyone. So, he never takes off the mask as Golden Guard and never speaks as Hunter so no one can recognize his voice. This means, however, that no matter who he is in the moment, he can never fully be himself. No matter what, he's lost some aspect of his identity.

After meeting Darius, Hunter's priorities get flipped. Darius already hates the Golden Guard, so now Hunter's goal is to make sure Darius doesn't find out Hunter is the Golden Guard. With everyone else, he was craving a sense of authority, but Darius ended up giving him a taste of what it was like to have a friend, and he was more terrified of losing that.

On Darius' side, I wanted to write about a man who lost someone he loved and in response, chose to give up. His mentor's death made him into a repressed shell of a man who was too scared to get close to anyone new ever again. Then, he meets a random kid who won't leave him alone and ends up worming his way into his cold, dead heart enough to slowly warm it back up without Darius even realizing until it was too late. The thing is, it didn't even take all that much for Hunter to do that. I like to think Darius likes to act tough and nonchalant a lot of the time, but he's inherently a very soft and caring person, even if he doesn't want to be at first.

The fic (and my writing skills) are far from perfect but despite that, Effortlessly My Baby is always going to have a special place in my heart. I was very sad to have to end it but at the same time, every story needs to end eventually. I can't just keep them going forever. I'm always grateful to everyone who read it and I hope it brings people joy for years to come.

[random-introverted-blog]

I suppose you want to hear about...

Me! Hi!

So first things first, what is this blog? Despite this name, it's actually Not a Shadowheart exclusive BG3 blog. The name is just a play on a joke I made with some friends that there is a DEEP lack of Dark Justiciar Shadowheart and Dark/Jealous/Possessive content for her. While I, of course, get and love our precious, wholesome Selunite baby, there's a lot of untapped potential for her Sharran Side. There's already a whole post I made on why I think you can definitely pull off a Yandere/Obsessive Shadowheart if you're interested. Can find that post Here, if you're interested.

This blog will be

Astarion and Shadowheart focused. BG3 blog maybe a random aside thought?

Not everything will be Yandere/Dark

I would like to be heralded as a Meme Queen, thank you

YES, I write fanfiction too, there's no escaping us.

I have SO many prompts/ideas/drabbles to share with you guys too

Maybe an opinion or such, like the Yandere Shadowheart post

Requests? Don't trust myself to do them in a timely manner. Suggestions of things to write? All for those, hmu girlies

I write a longfic on AO3 called I Want To Live. You can find me... Here!

I also now write a story called His Star - His Queen and that can be found... Here! Or if you prefer to continue reading on Tumblr I have a master page I call the Chapter Index and the link can be found... Here!

My Tumblr name is different from my AO3. I have yet to transplant my drabbles to my AO3 but if you want to stalk and stare at the relative void of my page, you can find me Here! My name there is A Random Introvert.

My inbox is open in case you guys aren't aware. There's really no limit on what you could send in that I won't reply to.

My Masterlist can be found here!

If I'm perfectly honest?

I'm actually a Spawn!Astarion simp more

ALRIGHT PUT DOWN THE PITCHFORKS I'M JUST BEING TRANSPARENT HERE.

But I've always had a weakness for dark romance, yandere content, obsessive/possessive/jealous content, and Ascended!Astarion has that in SPADES. So does Sharran!Shadowheart and DarkJusticiar!Shadowheart just saying.

Hence why the profile picture and banner feature Astarion and Shadowheart. This blog is for both of them, as I simp both.

Now not to come across condescending or anything, I know most people are aware what a yandere is. But just in case there are some newbies/uninitiated in this sacred, unholy character trope. Never want people to feel awkward or unwelcome or even ashamed they don't know something.

There are many other tropes that tend to be interwoven into a yandere. It's hardly ever their only trait. You can learn the rest by reading that, and your own research.

Look, I may be a Spawn!Astarion simp but I'm very staunch in my belief.

This is above all a No Judgement - No Shame blog

We can all enjoy ascended Astarion or Obsessive Shadowheart or whoever else you want to make a dark character. We can, because we can all acknowledge that no one in a healthy frame of mind would actually want to be with a Yandere in real life. But here, in text and words, we can enjoy it for what it is. A fantasy. I have a partner (hi babe) who is the complete antithesis of a yandere. I am actively writing a double Yandere electric boogaloo fic on AO3. Which they actively read and I talk about often. Doesn't change that I want a healthy relationship. And if I ever got a hint that they were recreating the scenes I was writing, I would ***SPOILERS*** drop faster than Shadowheart's parents when she kills them that's dark and I'm not sorry nor feel bad for it ***END SPOILERS**

That said; I welcome you to this little blog of mine and wish to be welcomed to this fandom if you would let me.

I think we're going to have a lot of fun together

[alteredphoenix]

Untitled DannyMay2023 "Campfire" Prompt (WIP)

A/N: So I was going through my USB Drive the other day, recently thinking of getting back into my Danny Phantom jam, and found one of my DannyMay2023 fics that I'd been thinking about.

This was for the "campfire" prompt, and one of the two fics I'd started but never got around to finishing it (the other was a darker take on the Fantasy AU prompt, featuring Vlad as a vampire and, if memory serves me right, Danny as a Full Ghost rather than a Half-Ghost). The main reason why I didn't was because as I was writing it I had that distinct feeling in my gut telling me it was going to blow up in word count AKA a longfic, a task I wasn't ready for with when the realization dawned on me, and at the time I was new to watching the show, so I ended up putting it on the backburner.

What you see here is what I'd written in the doc. It's a bit clunky (because rough draft), and there's a plot in here somewhere, and IIRC I was considering throwing Vlad in here (for what reason, I don't really remember).

I think this has potential, and I wouldn't mind going back to this eventually - once I actually manage to sit down and take the time to pick up where I left off on the show, that is, so I'm throwing this under my wips tag for the time being (that, and I'd figure I share it 'cause Why Not).

“Have you ever wondered how many people have died in these woods?”

Danny perked up at the words. He had been so engrossed in poking and prodding at the logs and sticks turning to ashy stumps to keep the fire going that he almost missed what Tucker was saying.

“Tucker!” Sam said. “We made a deal, remember? No talking about ghosts or Vlad or any of that kind of stuff while we’re on this trip! Especially with Mr. and Mrs. Fenton running around who knows where.”

Danny winced. Of course they’d go flying right out of the campsite and straight into the woods the moment they had everything – and by everything that also included the Fenton-patented defense perimeters – set up, functioning, and, most important of all, stabilized.

“Yeah, I know, but you gotta admit, it makes you think, doesn’t it?” Tucker added. He rested his elbows on his legs and leaned forward, twisting round behind him to glance into the encroaching darkness beyond the trees. “How many people do you think go wandering out there, away from a campsite just like this” - he emphasized this by jabbing his pointer finger down at the ground between his feet - “maybe with a Coleman lantern or just a flashlight, or carrying their backpack around, and never find their way back? Say they go to deep and end up getting lost. Maybe they slipped and fell down a ravine and snapped their neck, or their legs, or something. Maybe got a little too close to a river and got swept down it. Or maybe--”

“Tucker.”

“I’m just saying,” he said, holding his hands up defensively. “People have died out here in places like this – and some of them had to have been found by search and rescue! But how many do you think haven’t been? You can send all the best dogs and use all the best forensic technology in the world but some people might still end up missing. Their bones might still be out there. And you know what that means, right, Danny?”

Danny blinked with a start. “Huh? Oh, uh. Yeah,” he said. He had been listening, but he had also been staring out into the woods where the light of their meager little campfire did not and would not dare reach the all-encompassing blackness within. If anything – or anyone – was moving inside it, he couldn’t – and wouldn’t – be able to tell at all. Perhaps the FentonWorks ecto-cannos wouldn’t notice, either. The night, for all intents and purposes, was theirs.

He breathed in, and then breathed out. Nothing cold emerged.

“Imagine how many ghosts must be out there,” Tucker went on. “Not in the Zone, not in the afterlife. Just stuck here in the land of the living, unable to move on. Hey,” he said, eyes lighting up, “maybe some of them might even think they’re still alive and just don’t know it. Wouldn’t that be something?”

Sam sighed and slouched over. “I guess,” she groaned. “Jazz is so lucky,” she said. “She doesn’t have to hear any of this.”

“For now,” Danny said.

“Aw c’mon, you know I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer!” said Tucker. “You gotta admit, it’s a good thought experiment to think about!”

“Yeah. On any other given day when we’re not around a pair of ghost-hunting fanatics,” Sam countered wearily.

“And what day doesn’t end in y?” Tucker asked, nodding with all the wisdom of a sage three times his age. Sam responded with a grunt and a roll of her eyes. He sat up and unfolded his elbows. “Speaking of Jazz, she is coming back, right?” he asked Danny. “It’s almost full dark out. This is the best time – and the perfect weather – for s’mores!”

“Yeah, she will,” Danny said. “She’s just, you know, gotta make sure everything won’t go total FUBAR while we’re out here.” And made sure Mom and Dad behaved themselves, at least long enough until tomorrow morning, when they could actually see what they were doing. She must have felt just as he did right now just thinking about it.

“Maybe send her a text?” Sam offered. “You know, just in case she, uh, forgot?”

“Yeah. Maybe I should. That’s not such a bad idea.” He took his cell phone out of his pocket and checked the screen. “Ah good, there’s still signal. At least we’ve got something that’s still up and running in one piece,” he said, and unlocked the cell. His thumb tapped and danced along the keys.

Tucker leaned back and stretched out, first one arm above his head and then other. If he went any further, Danny thought, he was going to tip over and crash. “Oh hell yeah, I can just taste those s’mores! Gonna put those babies right up against the fire and watch them melt, oomph!:

“Don’t forget the barley bites,” Sam added.

“Barley bites. With ooey, gooey, chocolatey s’mores dripping all over to go…. Really?! What kind of combo is that?”

“Don’t knock what you haven’t tasted, Tuck! It’s very healthy and very nutritious and, to top it all off, not filled with processed sugars and fat.”

“Girl, you’re missing out. Come to the dark side and have a bite of real food. Just one.”

“Nah, no way. I don’t have to taste garbage to know garbage.”

“Hey, practice what you preach! Come on, just give it a shot. You’ll thank me for this later. I know you will~”

Sam blew a raspberry at him. Danny snorted, and then looked back down at the screen when he heard the ping go off. The text message conversation he started scrolled up on the screen, along with Jazz’s selfie profile picture next to it. It read: Yeah, I’m coming. Just had to talk down Mom and Dad from wanting charge off even DEEPER into the woods. This was accompanied by a frowning emoji that was rolling its eyes. As soon as he finished reading it, another text box appeared: I got the stuff ready, just need to go get it. You guys are good over there?

Yeah, we’re good, he texted back, and sent it. Yet even as he did, Danny couldn’t help but look back up toward the trees before them, surrounding them, and behind them, where the RV and the ecto-cannons were within sight, to the darkness beyond the campfire.

He exhaled again. Still no cold on his tongue. Still no chill to mist the air in front of him.

Danny pressed his lips together and looked away, back into the fire and its dancing flames.

[1425fivefive]

Can we get director’s commentary on a fic of your choice?

Dealer's choice for the director's commentary prompt! What a treat 💕! I've been dying to talk about Don't Want Your Sympathy, but it's such a long fic that I'm going to cheat a little bit and talk just about Chapter 4, the chapter where Oscar and Lando finally get together.

I genuinely cannot explain to you how hard that chapter was to write. Don't Want Your Sympathy was my first and only longfic and I started posting before I was anywhere close to finished with it and decided to update it on a weekly schedule, which in hindsight was insane. When I got to Chapter 4, I knew I wanted (1) Lando and Oscar to get together and (2) a karaoke scene as a callback to Oscar listening to "Easy On Me" in Chapter 1. But apart from that, I had no idea how I wanted the chapter to go and I felt so much pressure after people had invested so much time reading the fic. I really wanted Oscar and Lando getting together to feel believable and satisfying, and I had no idea how to do that because (if you've read my fics you'll know) I don't typically write slow burn multi-chapter fics.

The first draft of Chapter 4 was so weird. They still go to the bar, but Lando and Oscar start explicitly flirting very early, and it just felt ... so out of character for Oscar, who'd spent most of the fic in this like "crisis management" mode where he didn't let himself feel things.

I rewrote it to have them go skinny dipping instead (lol), but I hated it. (I actually reworked that scene into the beach scene in Chapter 3.)

Then, I rewrote it to have Oscar realize during Lando's karaoke performance that (1) he's in love with Lando and (2) Lando loves him back. (In the final version, Oscar leaves the bar during Lando's karaoke performance) Here's a snippet of how it was originally written:

As the last notes play, Oscar puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles. The rest of the bar’s going wild too, cheering and applauding despite the mediocre singing.  Daniel leans over. “Still think he’s straight?” Oscar laughs, shoves Daniel away. Lando’s bounding over to them, dodging patrons. He ends up stood right next to Oscar, so close his arm’s pressed right up against Oscar’s. Oscar can feel the heat of him through his shirt.  “How’d I do?” Lando asks, looking expectantly at him. “It was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Oscar says, and Lando beams, smile so bright it could power the bar. “I mean, to be clear, you were terrible—” “I’ve only heard that song, like, four times in my life, mate—” “Think you might’ve permanently damaged my high-frequency hearing—” “I had to hit the notes—” “And you almost fell off the stage. You could’ve killed somebody, look at how old this crowd is.” “That’s show business, Osc. Gotta crack a few eggs—” “I loved it,” Oscar says. It comes out so tenderly, it almost sounds like Oscar’s saying he loves Lando. Looking down at Lando—eyes bright, sweat dripping down his chest, his curls puffed into frizz by the heat of the bar—Oscar thinks he maybe could, one day, if he let himself. “Yeah?” Lando breathes. “Yeah,” Oscar says. Lando’s smile’s so wide and Oscar knows his is just as big. They can’t seem to stop staring at each, grinning like a pair of idiots.

In the original draft, they then have this very emotionally mature chat about their feelings for each other and end up kissing.

Idk, it just was not working for me. It didn't feel at all in character that Oscar would suddenly open up and feel comfortable enough around Lando to have this easy, emotionally intelligent chat about liking each other. I also wanted Lando to be able to express his (understandable) frustration about how Oscar continually shuts everything down between them.

So, instead, Oscar runs away, Lando follows him, and Lando gets to yell a bit about how much he likes Oscar and how Oscar keeps hurting him. I think it's a much more in-character scene and has a lot more emotional payoff than the original, very soft scene between the two of them. Like, there was no passion in the original scene. It was very "I like you" "Cool, I like you, too!"

Then, the sex scene. I struggled with this, too, because Lando has zero experience with men and I didn't want to make him unbelievably good in bed. So, he gives Oscar a blowjob and while Oscar thinks it's incredible, I tried to make it clear Oscar thinks it's incredible because it's Lando, not because Lando's a blowjob god.

Then, for the sex itself, I wanted to show Oscar being both in his head about "this is my teammate who doesn't know his sexuality" and "I'm obsessed with him and need this to happen." You can still see that Oscar's not fully letting himself fall into his relationship with Lando - for example, Oscar wants to ride Lando because he doesn't want the vulnerability that comes from being underneath someone.

It all goes back to the phone call with his mom, where his mom says, "You're afraid to let yourself be loved." Like, I think that really is the "hero's journey" of this fic: Oscar learning how to love people fully and let himself be loved in return. He thinks about that on the beach in the final scene in Chapter 7:

Oscar can’t remember, now, why he was ever afraid of it—of letting himself be loved and loving in return.

Anyway, I think this chapter has big emotional payoff while also keeping some seeds of conflict (Oscar's communication issues, Oscar's inability to let himself fully love Lando), that get explored and resolved in later chapters.

Sorry for the yap, I just haven't gotten the chance to yap about this fic that much!

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

For the holiday asks: Lizzie and the Bald Boys?

BUT OF COURSE... join me below the cut for ot3 shenanigans 💙💙

Which one:

chooses the decorations (and which one does most of the work putting them up)

Elizabeth insists that they do an equal amount of choosing the decorations! (she goes through everything they've collected as three established adults and decides they need to put it ALL up.) she also insists on making putting it all up an Event, so they do it together, and Mark gets caught in the middle of an unreasonable number of disagreements about what goes where. he's very patient.

makes up the holiday menu

ROMANO. he will never say it in as many words but I think food is a love language for him. and he will NOT tolerate a cheap basic store-bought ham they're doing this the RIGHT WAY

gets caught singing “Baby, it’s Cold Outside” in the shower

also Romano. Mark walks past the bathroom humming along. Elizabeth sings the next line through the door and cackles when there's a tell-tale thud of something knocked off a shelf.

wants to take the perfect holiday photo

Mark :') he'll put it in his wallet next to Rachel's current school picture.

wants to go downtown, look at the decorations, and window shop

Elizabeth naturally... she has an itinerary and a guide to all the best Christmas lights shows and if they can find a terrifying animatronic Santa she WILL adore it and make them stay until they've heard all its awful songs

prefers to stay in and snuggle by the fireplace

Gretel. it's so cold out there... why do her people ever go away from the warm spot...

puts up the mistletoe (and which one tries to catch the other under it more)

I think at home Elizabeth put it up initially but they keep moving it around trying to surprise each other with it... c: at work though Romano (fully bluffing) is like HOHO... WHAT DO I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING UNDERNEATH...... WINKY FACE and gets a little Shocked Pikachu if it actually results in a smooch lol

buys the ridiculous fluffy socks

ELIZABETH. she gets the ones that have like... little Santa's elves with actual jingle bells on the hats. they're horrible and Gretel thinks if you're wearing them that means it's playtime, because you're jingling at her.

worries more about buying the perfect gift for the other

think I have to give this one to Mark lol. he second-guesses himself even when it's completely unjustified and usually ends up trying to get a second opinion, be it from Doug, Susan, Carol...

is better at buying gifts

I think they're all very thoughtful about gift-giving in different ways... but I imagine that Romano usually nails it with something perfect and unexpected.

is better at gift wrapping

tie between Elizabeth and Romano (pre-arm). post-arm, it's Elizabeth, because then Romano prefers to just use gift bags (both for giving and receiving).

holds the other’s hands to warm them up faster 

MARK :) he's helping! and if you've read this far I'll share a secret: in my ot3 longfic wip I have a scene drafted where he shares his gloves with Elizabeth... you know. to unsubtly bang on the wall about contrast re: Amanda Lee stealing his gloves fhsdlkfjdg

has a particular Christmas/holiday special they insist on watching each year

Mark is absolutely a Peanuts Christmas special kind of guy. Romano makes them watch It's A Wonderful Life every year. Elizabeth doesn't have access to all the ones she grew up with but once YouTube and streaming and all that get big... watch out

tells the other they love them first on Christmas morning

Mark does c': and every year Romano says "that better not be my whole present 🙄" and it remains exactly as funny every single year (read: I am laughing about it)

[fitzrove]

Shamelessly stolen from seeing it on someone else's blog... Create a fanfic tropes tier list

Here's mine:

Some thoughts under the cut xD

All of these come with the caveat that it has to be well-written, basically. The older I get the less patience I have for stuff that's low-effort or just not to my taste hshhd. However, I see the tiers as something where I can pretty easily be convinced to read fic with tier S tropes, whereas getting me to enjoy a tier D fic would be difficult... Anyway, comments on individual tropes:

pwp - The best kind is where it's unapologetic kinky sex but a somewhat plausible scenario that's deeply in-character (or at least tries to be) >:))

a/b/o - This is a very very mixed bag for me... Contrary to what many people say, I don't actually enjoy plotty longfics (or the idea of reading longfics) talking about the societal aspects/worldbuilding implications of it. Also, the more focus there is on um... animal traits.... the less into it I am HFDHFHHJ. BUT I've sometimes liked the work of mandarin language todolf oneshot fanfic writers on ao3... I have no idea what the fuck is going on half of the time because google translate is imperfect, but those sure are some Fics with Stuff Happening in them xDD my favourite ones are rudolf x stephanie ones though because they're pretty much the only rudolf x stephanie femdom fics out there.........

soulmate au - I know this is super controversial for how it portrays relationships, but I actually find it okay :D When I read them I always interpret it as taking place in a much more deterministic world than our own... and I actually think that pure angst fics about the premise are rather interesting too. But I do think it has to be done quite well to work!

Royalty au - I'm such a whore about historical research so this has the potential to really irritate me xDD And for my current main fandom activities it's redundant... But idk, it's fine I think.

Fluff - This is one I've changed my mind on quite a bit over the years, namely in terms of actually kind of disliking pure fluff nowadays. I really prefer hurt/comfort and other fics where there are some stakes at play, or fics where the "fluff" is actually straight up emotional abuse HSDHDSHDHFSH (it's ok you can say todolf<33). It's just a lot more exciting to have setup + payoff vs pure fluff. I don't really experience the urge to read fluff fic as a response to the original media being emotionally charged/sad, I want fix-it fics to start from the standpoint of that negative emotion and have ups and downs before getting to the happy ending!

Crossover - hate crossovers where characters from multiple unrelated media interact, do sometimes enjoy crossovers where characters from y are in the universe of x (or experience a phenomenon from x). I mean, I've written a tdv au ahshshsh so I can't complain too much xD

Pregnancy fic, baby fic - no. This is a very hard if not impossible sell for me. I've written a longfic where the main characters have kids during it, but I never focused on the pregnancy and baby parts per se. I just don't like it haha

High school au, fairytale au, college au, coffee shop au, amnesia fic - I do NOT understand the appeal of any of these lmao

Humor, crack fic - Has to be done really well to work and most of the time it just doesn't for me ajdjjsjd. Humor is so personal and individual, and a conscious attempt to be funny as the main point of a fic falls flat so easily...... I like witty writing, but crack fic per se doesn't work for me unless it's crack treaten extremely seriously (implausible tropes and scenarios can be fun!! Buuut I do have pretty high standards for suspension of disbelief hshsdjdj. So it needs a lot of work put into it basically)

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Hey hey heyyya! Glad to see you're back. I don't know you, and I was introduced to both you and seeingteacupsindragons through a.. mutual. Point is, I remember not too long ago seeing a post from seeinteacupsindragons and it mentioning weekly chats or something with you, to manage expectations or something. I don't really understand much, and I'm not gonna pry haha. It's just good seeing you're back, and I thought it may make you guys happy if I mentioned how I happy I get seeing yalls interactions.

Please keep taking care. I don't think there was an issue or anything don't get me wrong, I just thought letting you know seeing all this cheered me up whilst I'm personally in a bad place yk. Stay gay lol, and much love to you both! Also, I keep forgetting messaging is a thing and I don't have to send an ask haha, sorry about that. Am too lazy to go copy paste it to messaging though, so here!

(Unrelated but affitionally cause adhd and sidetracked lol, but I love how true to your name your posts are. It resonates with my adhd brain in a good way I love it haha)

Oh yeah no, nothing's wrong or has been wrong, and I've been here the whole time haha!! (though definitely posting WAY less Moriarty the Patriot stuff since that particular hyperfixation has been hibernating a bit lol).

I actually wanted to make a post about this anyway so thank you for the prompt! The way my brain works *gestures to a heaping thrift store clothing bin of assorted undiagnosed neurodivergent traits* makes maintaining friendships very hard for me. I tend to slowly psych myself right out of them. Either I feel so much pressure to maintain constant communication that I run into some kind of executive dysfunction standstill and can't make myself do it, or I worry so much about being too much that I barely talk at all so that I don't become annoying. I find actual conversation (as opposed to just yelling random thoughts from the stage of my blog lmao) very easily becomes overwhelming, and I quickly run out of things to say and become convinced that I am the most boring person in the universe and no one would really be interested in being my friend anyway. Also life is just really damn busy sometimes! Adulting™! @seeingteacupsindragons has been amazing about working with me to figure out what works: for me, a scheduled chat day every week means we have lots to talk about, I have the energy to talk about it all, and I don't freak out about whether I'm communicating too often or too rarely. And it's ended up being one of the most wonderfully enduring and consistent friendships in my life. Marr is an incredible and patient friend and I am so grateful to know hir!

Anyway, thank you for your kind words, and I'm glad you like the blog! I will probably be making some more Moriarty posts now that I've got myself deep in writing another longfic, and then of course once the 2nd part of the manga starts up! 😊