#and who learn to broaden their world view just like all might did

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I wonder how Yves would deal with his s/o absolutely hate his guts. Like just one meeting and they already find his existence insufferable for no reason at all.

Another Anon Sent: Me , personally, would find Yves annoying as hell in real life. Mf is too composed

TW: mentions of past physical abuse (on Yves's side)

There is always a reason. Many reasons. The most glaringly obvious one is that if you don't like how he presents himself. Yves's existence already challenged a wide array of norms that had been established since the publishing of the bible. Maybe you don't like that he's a "man", "cosplaying" as a "woman". He knows a lot of people didn't, many of his old scars hidden under his turtleneck are there to prove that. Perhaps he's too good for you, unintentionally reminding you of your own inferiority. Perhaps, like what was described, he is too composed and put together that it seems suspicious.

And he understands that. He cannot please every category of people he comes across. This could mean you hating his entire being and viciously attacking his character for being the way he is. Yves accepted that, but it doesn't mean it hurts him any less. He may try his best to accommodate your wants, he can be malleable but only to a certain extent. His hair and makeup carry the weight of emotions and memories that you can never experience, and his mannerisms make up the legacy of all the crucial fragments of his life. Yves has his own identity and he cannot lose that. Without one, he knows he will fall apart and wither, all of his hard work will be for naught and you will be left unprotected.

Your hatred for him is an integral part of you, developed over years of exposure to your environment. No one is born loathing, it is the buildup of teachings from adults that causes it. As selfish as he is, he wouldn't just expunge it completely from your mind, even if he knows he can rewire your brain to an obedient little thing. That isn't you.

However, tolerance can be learned. If Yves knows you would have hated him upon initial contact, he wouldn't reveal himself too early. You still had years of maturing to catch up. He has time, he can wait. Yves will tailor your experiences, letting you mingle with diversity, and broaden your view of the world. He knows all the buttons, the levers, and the switches in your mind and how he could manipulate them to better you.

Not to say all your friends are paid actors and actresses, Yves doesn't even need to do that most of the time. All he needs is information, about who will be there, when will they be and why will they be there. And just like fate itself, Yves will bring you to them. Change needs to be gradual, the human mind simply cannot take massive shocks.

Maybe you find his tranquility irritating because you didn't grow up seeing that. Your home life could have been chaotic, unpredictable, and constantly needing you to turn on survival mode. Hence, seeing Yves as an anomaly in the world and rejecting the unknown. You're used to the mayhem, not the peace; at least in disorder, you know what to expect.

Then, Yves will give you a frame of reference. You will meet people of varying degrees of collectiveness, with him being on the extreme end of the spectrum. You will see more and more portrayals of similar personalities in the media. Then, surely but slowly, you will change.

Right?

Perhaps, no. You won't. You could stay the same and it would only mean his hypothesis wasn't correct. You might even get worse. And that is alright, this is in no way, shape or form a failure. He still succeeded, he succeeded in obtaining data. This is the scientific method, no outcome is still an outcome. It is this attitude that got Yves to where he is, to the mammoth collections in his office. He will try again, with another experiment design, with another hypothesis based on the last study's results. Why didn't it work? Was there something he missed? Did his bias get in the way? Was he not looking at the big picture this whole time?

Regardless, he will keep going. Each time, he learns something new about you that others may deem insignificant. But could potentially be the determining factor. And he notes it down without missing a beat.

That is why it takes years. That is why you're more likely to meet Yves only later in life. You still need more time to develop your views and you are constantly changing whether you like it or not.

Knowledge may not be the cure to hatred, but it is the cure to ignorance. Yves would do is present the world as best as he can in front of you, and let you think for yourself. To him, the gift of choice is the ultimate expression of love.

[blank468]

Dark Might needs to be good and memorable

I’m not going to act like the movie villains are anything great or they’re automatically better the main line ones because neither aren’t as memorable as people hyped them up to be. Wolfram is boring, Nine only exists just to foreshadow the Shigaraki fight and Flect Turn is a joke who got mad because he was born with a quirk and decided he was going to take his aggression out on the world. Dark Might as a character is something I hope Studio Bones takes full advantage of.

From most of what we’ve seen, I can only imagine he’s going to have a huge ego where he views highly of himself for impersonating All Might. I think he might work if he is layered where he has a wider personality than just egoism/ narcissism. The concept in my opinion kinda reminds me of some classic Disney villain where they used to have a wider presence and personality that makes them memorable. Dark Might having some comedic moments in his dialogue could broaden his character that would make him stand out from the previous movie villains. He could be described as being extremely intelligent that would immediately take advantage of without an issue. Maybe while he was studying everything about All Might he learns about everything that happened in Japan Pre-Kamino. Maybe through some spies, he learned that All Might’s power was not something natural but it was granted and finds out that Izuku has the same power. Maybe Dark Might sees him as an obstacle since Izuku will more than likely get recognition, so he tries to distract Izuku from foiling his plans while trying to take him out. He could also try and take advantage of a character’s insecurities, like toy with Bakugo with his insecurity of blaming himself for All Might’s retirement. An extreme measure would be to stage a scenario where he would quote on quote save a civilian but it was just a ruse to make him seem heroic than he his. A breaking point for him could be that he would do something so sinister that it tarnishes All Might’s legacy. Like in Falcon and the Winter Soldier, John Walker tarnishes Captain America’s legacy by killing a man with his idol’s shield. Maybe deep down he did wanted to be a hero but he doesn’t know how to so he would go through many ways to view himself as the perfect hero like All Might.

[raytm]

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ?  where does that world view come from   (   what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc . �� ) ?  marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?  how might they handle envious feelings

sunflower :   what brings your muse the most joy in life ?  / @dupliciti

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another ? / @resolutepathbegonia : how cautious is your muse ? are they prone to noticing red flags , or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ? why or why not ? ( for gepard! ) / @starspurnzinnia : how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ? has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ? / @miraiq

gepard views the world, not through a lens of naivete, however, recognises both its tendency to be cruel but also, it’s potential to be infinite in a multitude of ways. he has witnessed the adversity of war but has also seen the tenacity in others who had endured it, has weathered an eternal winter but sees the sprouting prospects of a belobog where all can be united. he is a bit of a realist, this stems inevitably from both his upbringing and his position as a silvermane guard, however, this does not mean he is disregarding the idea that the world can become a better place for not just him, but others too. I believe he could do with a good dose of romanticism considering he can be a rather serious sort of guy. In the end I would say his position and his broadening perspective ( through meeting and interacting with others and coming to understand their experiences ) holds both the world in this precarious balance of both being somewhere often inhospitable and somewhere that hope has the tendency to take root. 

Jealousy is a feeling gepard is learning to navigate. growing up, he was often jealous of his sister, he did not openly express this but she was impressive, talented, things that sometimes were hard for him to grasp came to her effortlessly, for her he was both in awe of and jealous of. There hasn’t really been a place in gepard’s life where he was encouraged to express his feelings openly, negative or otherwise, so growing up he definitely stifled these particular notions of envy while trying to also ?? do as much as he could to catch up with his elder sister. there’s always a gap between knowledge and capacity when one is elder than the other and he spent arduous times trying to breach that threshold. now, when it comes to romance ? he is someone who i believe would place trust in his partner, if he had decided to give himself to someone entirely, he would also be bestowing his trust in them, thus, even if he were jealous, you would likely get him more conflicted about his own feelings than directing that potential envy back at you. It’s complicated for him. His work, His family, seeing the way the world around them is changing and having a place amongst the ranks of those who are actively seeking to change it. gepard was conditioned and prepared to be in the position he is now and thus, he allocates a great deal of his time and energy to it. It’s important to him, duty is important to him, is this truly joy ? the people who make up the silvermane guard, learning about them ? getting to know them on a personal level ? that brings him joy. getting to be involved with others outside in the community and seeing that which they are working to protect brings him joy. spending time in his sister’s shop after hours talking about nothing and everything over a cup of tea brings him joy. he’s very oriented around others and to a degree, his capacity and success as a leader, his joy is innately linked to these things. personally ? there are also smaller, more personal joys in his life, like when he was able to keep his first plant alive for longer than a week, when he can dedicate a moment to respite and sit down and read. It’s just ???  gepard is the sort of person who, after establishing an intimate bond with someone, would have that person become an impactful part of his life. whilst he doesn’t have a great deal of experience with romance ( rip gep pls hold his hand ) he would be giving himself fully to someone else and that is not something that wouldn’t hold an immense weight with him. to him, it was expected that marriage ( and relationships in general ) would hold weight within the family and the other nobility so despite veering quite away from that ideology it is still part of the way he navigates relationships. so, in short no, in long i could write an actual essay on this topic. he’s a bit of a golden retriever boyfriend but if a golden retriever boyfriend could also punch and wall and thus fracture it into a million tiny pieces. 

he is a cautious person, it comes with the territory, he has to remain acutely vigilant at any given time due to the peril that is part of his work. He is not an inherently paranoid person but he also has a decent gauge of how trustworthy someone is, he’s had to navigate alot of noble circles in his adolescence leading up to adulthood and thus has been exposed to both charitable and rapacious people. after spending some time with someone, getting to know them a little he finds his discernments to be, usually, rather precise. he regards people with the appropriate amount of suspicion or caution and goes from there truly. 

it impacts him everyday, not a solitary day passes where he does not hold the burden in his heart of those who have fallen on the battlefield. he was, in his youth, more ignorant to the weight that held but when he saw his first comrade take a last, shuddering breath and die alongside him it came rushing in like an arctic flood.  it has made him someone who takes precautions, who has a proclivity for shielding others instead of himself from harm. gepard is aware of the strength he possesses and he has every intention of utilizing it to prevent any others from dying needlessly. It has made him truly cherish the bonds he has, made him aware of each interaction and how important they are, even if they are just in passing. from the meals he shares with his fellow guards, to the time he spends with his sisters or others from belobog he truly values these precious moments.

[cowboymeemaw]

Your post in the vegan tag showed up in my feed, and I did want to respond to what you wrote. I do mean to write this in good-faith, and I am not trying to make you feel judged, because I know that this is a complex subject.

It’s clear that you care deeply about the animals you raise and that you believe in providing them with a good life. However, it’s important to recognize that the central motivation for animal farming, like any form of animal commodification, is profit and or to benefit the farmer. This places the interests of animals second to financial considerations or personal advantage, leading to situations where animals are bred, used, and ultimately killed; not for any benefit to them, but to benefit humans. These actions highlight a fundamental conflict between the welfare of the animals and the demands of animal agriculture. Animals are sentient individuals who are capable of suffering, and to deliberately cause harm to others or to take someone's life is not a considerate way of treating them.

There are many people who have worked in animal agriculture who have experienced a change of heart upon truly giving consideration to the realities of the practices to animals they are witnessing. The practices standard in the industry cause significant distress and suffering to the animals involved, which challenges the notion of a completely "happy" or "stress-free" life for farm animals. I would recommend looking up Susana Romatz who has written about going from working on a dairy goat farm to becoming vegan and advocating for plant-based alternatives. People like Susana illustrate a growing awareness and rejection of the cognitive dissonance inherent in raising animals for consumption.

This is the definition of veganism by The Vegan Society :

"Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals."

Taking the time to learn about and understand veganism and the reasons behind it requires grappling with the difficult truths about animal agriculture. It's not just about personal choice or diet; it's deeply tied to ethical concerns about animal welfare, environmental sustainability, and questioning societal norms around using animals. Engaging with these perspectives might not change your view overnight, but it can broaden the conversation around human-animal relationships, ethics, and the impact of our choices on the world around us.

Thank you for such a respectful response.

I do not ultimately believe I will change my viewpoint on what I do, but I am definitely willing to explore other viewpoints any information on these things. I wasn't going to respond to this at first, thinking of just taking in what you said and leaving it at that.

But I decided to in the chance someone else would like to learn about this information.

As of now in my life, as a farmer who raises these animals. I fail to make a profit off of it. Over the years I've spent thousands on my animals welfare. Feed medication, physical therapy, hoof trimming, vet appointments. I never really intended on making a profit if I'm gonna be honest. My true goal in all of this, other than keeping my family tradition alive and being in love with Agricultural, is to create a farm that can raise healthy and happy animals before slaughter.

You probably don't understand the slaughter aspect, and I understand you don't. I can hold respect for you for coming into my page and holding a conversation that didn't start as angry and argumentative. I will say my response may not be as detailed as one wanted, and I'm truly open to any more questions and comments as anyone nah want.

[therovingstar]

Watching a vid about Stormblood, and while I’d seen some hints of it before, it really does seem like the main critique of Lyse as a character is the fact that she’s the most “normal” lol. The comments on the vid (which were overall pleasantly surprising in their like for Stormblood and it’s story/characters) cited that she was boring, didn’t know anything, seemed lost all the time, etc., and I’m like…wasn’t that the point? For the time she was a Scion, Lyse was the most “normal” character we had on the team. She wasn’t a scholar or a genius or a prodigy. She was a girl who was good with her fists and drawn to the Scions because she cared about the world and simply wanted to help it, a goal that was largely inspired by her sister and father. Lyse’s entire arc in Stormblood is about learning, about taking from the examples of others, about thinking and broadening her perspective, and in time, she becomes more confident not only in her place in the world, but in her purpose in it. She’s honestly one of the most ‘human’ main characters we’ve had simply for how relatable she is; she doesn’t catch on to things immediately, she’s often lost and confused, and she has obvious shortcomings that affect her ability to see the big picture and be the savior she wants to be for her people and others. It doesn’t come to her easily, and it takes the inspiration and support of others (Raubahn, Curtis, Hien, Cirina and the Mol, etc.) for her to get to that point where she can be.

And idk, it’s characters like her that tend to resonate the most with me. The Scions and Alliance leaders are all great, and they each have their more “human” traits, but it’s always been obvious that Lyse was the odd one out for not being particularly ‘special’. And that genuinely seems to be where a lot of folks’ dislike of her stems from, that she doesn’t start out immediately competent of everything happening around her, that she struggles and trips up and flounders in places our other buds and acquaintances tend not to. She’s not automatically hero material in the way people might expect or want her to be. But for me, that’s exactly what made her so great. At times, she did annoy and frustrate me, especially at the start of SB when she didn’t seem to understand why the Ala Mhigan citizenry was so reluctant to take up arms and rebel against the Empire. But over the course of our travels, we saw her learn and expand her mind, broaden her views and horizons in a way that, even now in Endwalker, we saw the results of: her as a competent leader, confident in herself and her purpose and her ability to help those in need. And I enjoyed seeing that development as it happened.

The best part is, in most ways, she’s still the girl who’s good with her fists who just wants to help people. She still doesn’t come off as all that ‘special’, she’s still not a genius or a particularly vaunted leader or even one of the more competent folks in the room. She’s still very ‘normal’. And not only do I miss that about her being with us, that down-to-earth dynamic she brought to the team (we have Alisaie to take up the slack, as well as Estinien as our replacement non-intellectual/Sharlayan-based member), I miss what Lyse, at least to me, represented: the fact that it doesn’t require one to be ‘special’ or ‘gifted’ to make the world a better place; it just takes a heart that wants to.

[voidsentprinces]

Zenos is a relic of a Final Fantasy XIV that we were okay with being one note. Gaius with his “land of creeping medacity”, Lahabrea with his whole speech about snuffing out our light, Thordan with his melodramatic god complex and challenging us to fisty cuffs because he thinks he is so much stronger than us. After all of those, we began to get villains of depth and complexity, it began with Nidhogg and the Warriors of Darkness. Nidhogg’s vengeance is not black and white, Ishgard killed his sister, broke a treaty, and Nidhogg was right to seek recompense for it. But vengeance consumed Nidhogg and he was blinded by his hatred, a hatred that festered into madness. The narrative, at least post Heavensward, is that the sins of the father should be carried on to their sons. Those who did the crime should be held accountable but force descendents to suffer for their parent’s faults is unfair and uncalled for. Especially since the sons themselves were working to bring to light their fathers’ wrongs. But Nidhogg was ready to kill his own in the path of vengeance and needed to be put down for peace and healing to begin.

Estinien too was hell bent on vengeance but unlike Nidhogg it hadn’t fully consumed him and for his blood lust for killing dragons, he became apart of THE dragon he swore the slay. Literally becoming the thing he hated most and after freeing him from the bondage of vengeance. He grows as a person and seeks not just peace within himself but peace with the dragons willing to seek peace. His narrow view brought from wearing his dragoon helm is broadened by the sacrifices of Ysayle and Haurchefant. He sees how the Warrior of Light deals our own vengeance over Haurchefant’s death and learns from the experience. And becomes better because of it.

The Warriors of Darkness appear as those desperate souls trying to save their world at the cost of ours. Only to discover their own vengeance is ill funded by the very beings responsible and given a chance to use their own bodies to save their world, they take it.

Ilberd’s vengeance has descended into madness as well. Just like Nidhogg, he is consumed by his hatred becoming so insense as to announce that the Ala Mhigan refugees are not even worthy of Ala Mhigo any more. He makes forces a war but it isn’t his avatar of vengeance Shinryu that liberates Ala Mhigo. Its the very people his vengeance had blinded him to. It was the efforts of Ala Mhigan Refugees, the Alliance he despised with the backing of the Monetarists he hated, and the good souls of the world, he himself betrayed and scattered to the wind. But we understood where Ilberd came from and saw how a man with nothing left to lose could bet it all and cause the destruction of innocence.

Then we go into Stormblood and the narrative fumbles with the same eloquence. Both Fordola and Yotsuyu feel like their stories could of been handled better and from what I hear, the Endwalker Job Quests actually finally do Fordola justice but Yotsuyu is still a small blight upon the Post-Stormblood narrative. Zenos himself there is a barrier to entry. He is there because someone was like, “Oh shit, what are you doing ready to liberate Ala Mhigo? Go fuck off to Doma for 2/3 of the expansion and don’t come back until you’re done.” Then he shows up in Yanxia as an “Remember what you are fighting against! The might of Garlemald is unfeeling, unyielding, and monstrous.” before fucking off. We get back to Ala Mhigo and its practically a cake walk. Zenos continues to do nothing but push Fordola to his role of pushing the narrative forward and being a reason to fight beyond just Ala Mhigan liberation and then he’s just done for two 1/2 more patches.

Then we get the whole mystery box writing, what’s in the box? But instead its what is Elidibus and Varis going to do? Who is Solus zos Galvus really and how will he effect the plot? See how Varis reacts being pressured to take the wrong road and how it might effect the narrative!

But then as if sensing its who lackluster set up or perhaps sensing it doesn’t have the answer to it or that just a straight up war with Garlemald might be anticlimatic we are literally whisked away to a new world. With new problems, new issues. A fresh start to understand more about the universe than just what we think we know.

The narrative comes back strong in Shadowbringers. Every region reminds us of our own and is a reflection of what will happen if we do not consider the entire picture. The shadows of a once great empire in the sands reduces to its merchants and its dying. The scars of calamity on its doors steps akin to Ul’dah. The light bleached cliffs and seas of Kholusia. Manned by only the greedy Eulmoreans, the desperate poverty of its people, the weathered sailors who no longer build their ships to explore a world now blanked out, and the stout dwarves who carry on, the twisted boroughs of Rak’tika. Its civilization held together by those with hope, those who seek domination, and those bound by duty to protect knowledge now out of reach of anyone else. A realm of seclusion and suspicion. Il Mheg, a precursor to introducing us to the themes of the Ascians while also showing how the valorous past of a kingdom like Ishgard can be lost and forgot. Reduced to ruin and forgotten about. And of course, Lakeland standing as the bastion against the light and after seeing it all stagnate become active in picking up the pieces.

Emet-Selch isn’t like any other Ascian. He is willing to break bread with us. He echoes that all we’ve ever known of the Ascians is one note and invites us to learn about them after we are done with our duty. He then gives himself more depth and humanization than being beyond the legendary tyrant ruler of Garlemald or just another mustache twirling Saturday Morning Cartoon villain as he interacts with us. Shares with us the tale of Amaurot and the reveals Hydaelyn and Zodiark. After meeting us where in our domain we go to a faux depiction of his own. Walk among his people, understand their fears and the way they interacted. Even as just shades. We come to understand Emet-Selch as a villain of tragedy. A man not unlike the Warriors of Darkness. A good person who has become twisted and forced to do what he thinks is necessary. Who has convinced himself the ends justify the means. He is still apart of an organization leading planet wide genocides, over saw the subjagation of many innocences to push his goals. He is in the wrong completely, but rather than just simply being another face to punch, he is a man. Faults, crimes, and all. And when all is said and done, rather than cursing us with his final breath. He asks us to remember his people, remember that they existed, how they existed. Carry their memories with us, teach it to our own friends and companions. So that Amaurot will not die. He does not ask us to save his Empire, to spare his fellow Ascians, or makes any more excuses for what he has done. He just asks us to remember the innocents in Amaurot. Keep them close to our heart as we did any other and then sets plans into motion to give Elidibus a proper send off as well.

And so the story pushes forward, in a bit of a hastened fashion. I feel like Elidibus too is fumbled. A lot of ground and concepts to cover but not enough room to cover it in 6.1 - 6.3. But still we come to understand the Elidibus is another tragedy. A man who idealized his heroes, who once idealized us as we were before. But who can no longer remember the past, wants ruin of the present, and cares not for the future. He is blinded by his duty and his function. He is a villain to be pitied and so we are him to give him the respect of his station. And in the end, he becomes what he sought. He becomes a beacon of hope by being absorbed into the Crystal Tower. His last words are also not cursing us or spiting us. It is the memory of his friends, his comrades, and remembering the reason he was set on his duties and how much he misses his home and loved ones.

”Stay strong...keep the faith...at journey’s end we will meet again, we will. The rains have ceased...and we have been blessed with another beautiful day...but you are not here to see it.”

And so he disappears, the last of his kind. The one who had forgotten only to remember.

And then unfortunately, we have to return to Eorzea and to such villains as Fandaniel. Who for all intent and purpose is bringing about the Final Days for the lulz and to even the playing field. Zenos is there as a bouncer. Because a fragmented Ascian is not as strong as the Paragons we had been fighting. But Fandaniel is also singularly one note. He is back to the mustache twirling of the old ARR and Heavensward villain variety. Heeeeee’s COOKY! HEEEEE’S DRAMATIC! He’s WACKY! and HEEEEE’S possessing Asahi’s body so any feelings I had for Asahi are now automatically transferred to Fandaniel by LITERAL proxy. So Fandaniel goes from Wacky to ENTIRE INSUFFERABLE! What Fandaniel is Amon? Woop-dee-fucking-doo. Get this clown out of here and send his ass back to the circus he escaped from.

And while I appreciate what Endwalkers narrative was doing in moving past the need for Zenos and Fandaniel to be villains. To just pull a greater scope by giving us the Zodiark fight we thought we were getting at the end at the 1/3 mark. But then after Fandaniel is “defeated” and the Final Days is released. We are left with Zenos. The man who except for killing Varis and forcing Elidibus to us has always forced other characters to push the narrative for him. And rather than, at the climax where the story has clearly signaled its time to move on from him and Fandaniel both, we fight and defeat him in a battle that has been hyped up for 8 patches and now 1 and 1/3 of an expansion! We...let him leave. So he can...be a question mark over the narrative again and...you know...do what he’s known for an...be a flat one note villain of the past. Chewing the scenery when he shows up and wanting to fight us and...like...not else. We could get the same experience by fighting a Solo FATE boss in...any region actually. And so when he finally shows up at the last possible moment. It s not a feeling of applause but annoyance. A left over than they literally didn’t know what to do with but needed him to stick around for marketing purposes and to be coy even longer about our fight with him shows up. Does the Zenos thing but the change being he’ll do anything for us TO fight him rather than not wanting to do anything BUT fight us. Which...I guess? So we beat the Endsinger which...side tangent.

When we were going through Amaurot. Was I the only one who just thought the Final Days was a natural occurence? Just something brought about by Amaurot’s hubris and unwilling to really care about other civilizations outside their city? Whose creation magic had gone so over used that the Final Days was the universe’s way of redressing the balance of nature? The Final Days being a miguffin to close out the Era of the Ancients/Gods and usher in the Era of Mortals/Man? Like after we finish with Emet-Selch. There wasn’t a question that we ourselves needed to face the Final Days. The big question mark hanging over the narrative was dealing with Zodiark and Hydaelyn. The Eldest and most powerful of Primals. A fact that put into question all of Hydaelyn’s actions and our duty as her supposed champion? Even bringing up the fact that we hadn’t gotten a collect call from Hydaelyn since...like...Heavensward? Everything else had been done through Minfilia so not technically Hydaelyn herself. And with Fandaniel on the horizon to usher in a redo the Final Days but as just another Calamity for the lulz to awaken Zodiark as probably the end goal and Zenos there to, again, act as a bouncer to level the playing field. Cause a sundered Ascian isn’t as strong as a Paragon clearly. It felt clear cut what we were going to do. But to learn someone was actually BEHIND the Final Days and we had to stop it felt very, to me at least:

Like again I can see that the narrative needed to move beyond villains like Zenos and Fandaniel but like...the Final Days having a voice and a face to punch still felt out of left field. And it might of properly worked cause like Emet-Selch, we get to learn about Meteion. Spend time with her. They flesh her out as an old friend we didn’t know about and she’s fine. But like, something about Zenos being around kind of still drags the entire thing down. He’s the hardened piece of cereal left over before the writers pour a new bowl. No matter how much you’re enjoying the new bowl of cereal. That stale piece is still stuck to the side and you just want to take your thumb and unjam it and toss it away but the writer won’t let you yet. So we end up with Zenos eventually showing up and after the BIG CLIMATIC FIGHT! We...are railroaded into fighting Zenos for maybe 10 minutes at the very end of a narrative that had moved past him. To triumph music that feels like its trying to have a second big celebration after we just had a big celeberation so it feels forced and worn out and Waaaaaay too little too late. Right? And its not some humanized or depth delving Zenos that we’ve learned about by having flash backs in Garlemald or through books stored in the capital or whatever. Its still Zenos but Zenos with somehow less of what made him Zenos in Stormblood. He’s a lesser Zenos which is like saying, he’s a lesser brand of Miracle Whip. Like...they gave him a new uniform sure and while yes, “A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES” is amusing. We just had our big climatic battle and now we’re fighting...one note, oh you’re still here, Zenos.

Who was made obsolete in his own expansion by the presence of there being a depth hinted at in Fordola and Yotsuyu. Like ????????????

So to round this off before tumblr eats this fucking post wasting another 45m of my life. Zenos is a relic of Final Fantasy XIV villains like Gaius, Lahabrea, and sadly Igeyohrm. Villains there to be the reason to fight a big bad at the end. A puffed up WWE Heel who suddenly finds himself in the middle of Period Piece War time Drama. Where other villains have shown up with nuance, complexity and cunning. Zenos keeps occasionally kicking down the door and asking us for a wrestling match in the ring that night. And its...bewildering.

I had a point...but I lost it half way through that last paragraph. So fuck me I guess.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Victor’s R&S - So-called Disparity (Eng Translation)

🍒This R&S (“所谓差距”) will not be released in EN or any server as it’s one of the cancelled R&S which came with the Dream Heart Lake gacha event!🍒

This is a full translation, so you can follow along with the narrator if you want to!

Summary: Goldman recognises that the gap between him and Victor isn't actually that large - it simply spans the Amazon River.

Cancelled Victor R&S:

> flashback 

> six out of seventeen

> paradise on earth

[ Chapter 1 ]

Goldman entered that university as the third highest scorer in his entire province. Before that, he always felt like students who jumped off buildings in high school were mentally weak, and were making a fuss out of nothing. It was only after entering university that he knew how blessed he was to be a frog in the well.

Goldman has always had a pretty good mentality. A normal person would require a semester to get used to the psychological gap of being a big fish in a small pond instead of a small fish in a large pond. However, Goldman only needed two weeks - to be more exact, thirteen days, to adjust. 

In his own words, it was something like this: “There is sky above the tallest mountain, and there is land under the deepest sea. This is very normal. I’ll never do something which puts me at a loss like jumping off a building. I, Goldman, have an eighty year old mother and an eighteen year old girlfriend--” before he could finish speaking, the neighbouring scholar snatched the reins of the conversation.

“I couldn’t tell at all. Just because you say something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Show me a photograph!” The air in the surroundings of the dormitory, which was originally full of pretension, was altered by Goldman’s words.

In a sense, Goldman had a talent for being a “coordinator”.

The first time he heard of the name “Victor”, Goldman had experienced life as a university student for a month.

“Do you know the guy from 207? The one from the economics department... I can’t remember his name right now, but he’s the one who dresses very stylishly and always has a group of ladies running behind him.”

“Ah, I’ve seen that guy before. I think his surname is Gu. What about it?”

Goldman continued cutting voting slips for the student union, but his ears had long since developed a mind of their own, eavesdropping on the two people engaging in idle conversation. 

“He seems to have invested in a business run by a few third year students, and they even promised to return him thrice the principal amount in a month.”

“It’s obviously a trap.”

“Let me finish. I originally thought so too, but that guy actually bought a new car!”

“Could his family be wealthy to begin with? Come to think of it, being able to buy a car means the amount he invested as a principal sum must have been quite a lot.”

“Who knows. Anyway, he has been advertising for those third year students recently.”

“Are you stirred?”

“I am, but it was a recruitment for an intern assistant. The opportunity to earn thrice the amount is gone, tch tch tch.”

“If you think about it, If we could learn how to earn thrice the principal amount, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be an intern.”

“It’s not rare to see such businesses come to a premature end halfway. What if you end up wasting your time if you can’t prove that you did an internship there?”

“That’s true. Also, I’m not even certain what it is they do... it feels a little weird and scary.”

The speaker didn't mean it, but the listener heard it. That night, Goldman knocked on the 207 dormitory, and heard the name “Victor” from the man whose surname was Gu.

Even though he just experienced the blow of seeing a Gold Olympiad medal in the room of this scholar, Goldman was not to be trifled with. If other people didn’t dare to test the waters, he won’t be the first one to stupidly try.

Which is why in the following year, Goldman adopted a wait-and-see attitude. 

-

[ Chapter 2 ]

Goldman interacted with Victor in person in his sophomore year, after he thought to look for an internship.

At that time, the newly established company which was still in its incubation stage was not Goldman’s first choice. But as a full-time sophomore, it was difficult to guarantee the prerequisite GPA in order to receive an offer from the top 500 companies. Which is why decided to try knocking on the doors of the new company.

At first, what went through Goldman’s mind was - if this company was unable to develop, he’d just go somewhere else. After all, there was still time to find other internships.

In the end, halfway through the interview, Goldman realised that the issue wasn’t whether he wanted to join the company, but whether it was willing to give him a fighting chance. Those who fluently recited their prepared lines and rehearsed repeatedly said that they failed to be accepted into the small company called “LFG”.

In actuality, Goldman’s self-introduction was cut short not even after thirty seconds, by a sharp-eyed man with short black hair.

“I only have one question. What will you do?”, with an emphasis on the word “you”.

Goldman noticed that when the young interviewer asked this question, the other interviewer had a hand to his forehead.

“Huh?”

In just two seconds, Goldman was left dumbfounded. However, as a student leader from the student union for such a long time, he reacted quickly after a slight pause, and started talking grandiloquently about his experience of attracting financial support for businesses.

This was an experience Goldman felt proud of and thought could prove his capabilities, which was why he was full of confidence as he talked about it. 

He didn’t expect that... it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy the interviewer, who, at a glance, looked like he wasn’t good to get along with.

“I’m asking what you, Goldman, will do.” It wasn’t even a question this time. Separated across the table, Goldman could easily sense the other party’s brimming impatience.

“Ah, Goldman, don’t be anxious. What Victor means is that if you weren’t endorsed by the school, do you think that company would still support you? And what is the reason for that?”

Thanks to the other interviewer, Goldman’s interview could continue. 

When Goldman left the company, whatever impression he had of that “saviour” was merely an outline - his short hair was dyed brown, and he looked pretty easy to get along with. Apart from that... he couldn't remember anything.

The thing he remembered was that sharp gaze, that impatient tone, and that emphasis on “you”.

Oh, so that’s Victor. 

Always observant, one moment didn’t slip past Goldman: the interviewer with the genial expression looked at the CV on the desk before calling his name. 

But Victor didn’t.

On hindsight, Goldman wasn’t sure how he managed to pass the interview. Perhaps it was because Victor chose based on impressions?

Just like the moment he met Victor in person - even though he was stunned by Victor’s aura, there was a sense of expectancy and admiration in his heart. 

Vice versa - Did Victor also experience something back then - a shred of “good feeling” which explained why he allowed Goldman to pass the interview?

But Goldman would never have the courage to verify the answer to this question with Victor.

Even more so when the reputation of LFG grew, causing Goldman’s courage, which wasn’t very large to begin with, to shrink even further.

-

[ Chapter 3 ]

In the year of his graduation, Goldman had a few choices:

One - pursue postgraduate studies in his major as the top of his class. Two - accept one of the offers from the world’s top 500 firms. Three - continue staying in LFG and working together with Victor.

Goldman eliminated the first option - he was in no mood for further studies. Back then, the reason why he entered the country’s top university was to find a good job in the future. Now, since he already had the second option in front of him, doing a postgraduate wouldn’t mean anything to him. 

Goldman had a long struggle between the second and third options. He even specially called his parents in his hometown to seek their opinions.

“Being a trainee is essentially meant to train me to become part of the management in the future. If I go to that company, I just have to work hard and one day, I’ll make it big.”

“Mm, and a large platform means a stable job, and a broadened view. As for the salary... it’s around this amount at the start.”

“If I stay at my current company? I’d probably continue getting scolded by my boss every day. Although the prospects aren’t bad, it might close down anytime.”

“Boss? Oh, actually, he’s a senior who’s older than me by two years. I’ve interacted with him for two years, and he’s all right, just that his temper is a little bad.”

“How do I have a bad temper? Mum, you have no idea that compared to him, your son is piteous little sheep who hasn’t even learned how to hurt someone!”

“And I wasn’t mistreated or bullied. Your son’s skin is tough like iron! It’s not like you don’t know it. Also, I'm not the only one who gets scolded by him. If he only scolds me or can’t tolerate me, why would I follow him? Your son isn’t that silly.”

“Anyway... I feel that following him has enabled me to learn quite a lot of things. I’ve also thought about it - to use my youth to give it a try, and if I really can’t do it, I’ll find another job.”

“My classmates from different fields? They’re either inheriting a business, or going overseas for advanced studies, and can’t give me any advice at all.”

“I’ve been so worried these two days. Mum, which one should I pick?”

Talking garrulously on the phone, Goldman was best described as “a baffled person on the scene.”

[Note] The first part of an idiom is used here - “当局者迷，旁观者清”, which loosely translates to “The person at the scene is baffled, but the onlooker sees clearly. It refers to how outsiders tend to have a better perspective on matters.

He was completely unaware that he had already made an important decision during his discussion with his mother. 

-

[ Chapter 4 ]

Although Goldman had indeed made a decision after graduation that only a hot-blooded youth would, he wasn’t the type of person to get frenetically excited over something.

As a man, he even allowed himself to wallow in a gloomy mood for a few days each month. This “dejection every month” became all the more inevitable when his understanding of Victor gradually deepened.

At the very beginning, he wanted to learn things from Victor, and from LFG. Honestly speaking, Victor did teach him how to get multiple returns on a principal sum in a short period of time, and he was also exposed to the many rules of the market. But there were still many things that he just couldn’t get a hold of no matter how hard he tried. 

For example, strategising. For example, structuring.

The gap between himself and Victor... how should he put it, it wasn’t that large - it simply spanned the Amazon River. Even though the gap wasn’t as frightening as the Mariana Trench, it was still a distance that he couldn’t cross through sheer hard work. 

How did the proverb go? All roads lead to Rome, but some people were born in Rome. Whether it was Victor’s thinking or his vision, these were things Goldman couldn’t learn.

Sometimes, he felt discouraged when thinking about it. Despite being born into a good life and having handsome features, Victor was still so hardworking. In that case, was there even a point for a normal person like Goldman to work hard?

On one particular day, when he was harbouring such a dejected feeling, he accidentally spilt coffee outside Victor’s office. To make matters worse, Victor was sitting in the office, witnessing the scene of the coffee being overturned.

Goldman was certain that he would get chewed out by Victor: Just like the time when he made a mistake and missed an underselling opportunity, had an incorrect financial leverage, and pasted wrong labels on documents, etc...

Or maybe he’d hear a clicking of the tongue, or receive a glare. But he never expected that this time, Victor’s response only comprised of four words: To err is human.

“Boss, are you talking to me?” At that time, Victor was not yet LFG’s CEO. 

“...who else? Would I be talking to myself?”

Oh, it’s that familiar tone and familiar taunting, there’s nothing wrong - that was what the junior thought.

“Boss, are you in an especially good mood today?” At that time, Goldman was not yet as overcautious as he is.

“...I guess so.” A pause followed. When the senior opened his mouth again, it was uncertain whether it was an invitation or not. “The company going public is something that is more or less done discussing. When the time comes, I’ll need a CEO assistant.”

Such a light tone caused both parties to involuntary think of what happened during the interview a few years ago.

“...if you do that again.” his gaze was cast towards the mess on the floor. Victor’s tone was as calm as always. “I’ll do an external recruitment.”

Only after three seconds did Goldman understand what Victor was saying.

In just three seconds, the Amazon River became the limpid, clear stream outside his old home.

In this mirror-like stream, Goldman suddenly saw himself clearly:

Actually, Goldman had never sought to possess Victor’s air of a monarch.

To him, it was enough to be acknowledged by such a “king”.

After three seconds, apart from “dejection every month”, this little assistant had another motivation to press on.

-

Other cancelled R&S: here

Lucien’s cancelled R&S (by other user): here

[readerinsertfanfiction]

Storyteller

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Character: Shingen Takeda

Prompt: Early birthday gift? Though, it isn’t a birthday story. It does include a celebration? Though, honestly, it contains more world building elements and blablabla... Experimental style here, let me know how you like it! 

--- Yes, I’m writing fanfic again instead of doing actual work. We are back on that nonsense again. 

To the children of this land, I hope this story might find you well. To the adults; I hope that nostalgia shall grace you with a new point of view to the age-old tale that explains the custom we have in our humble area.

Many know of the mystic power of Kotodama; the spirit of the word, the soul of language. The sacred power tied to a true name often bestowed, but so very rarely called upon, for it is precious and not something easily summoned. It is why we take on a new name for each phase of life we enter. For our childhood names don't necessarily represent who we grow up to be, nor do the names we choose form the person we are today. It is from this same belief that one rarely calls another by their most intimate name.

The same goes for the gods, who often go by so many names that they find themselves forgotten to what their true name was. The respect and worship from those below them not allowing for their names to be uttered. It is why deities are such fickle beings, moving on from place to place, magnanimously sharing their love amongst the populace, but never knowing what it is like to stand equal and hear their names whispered by their most beloved.

It are humans that know of this love, it is the privilege of humility that brings one's precious gift as the utterance of their name. It is from these mortal beings that the gods need to learn the game.

Just like many stories go, this one as well took place long ago, when the deities could be still found amongst us easily. When they still weaved into our lives on the daily, leaving their imprints behind through miracles and blessings and cultivating their fame.

There used to be a mountain god among us, tall and handsome, with many men and women to choose from. The deity would move in with spring, bringing with him the fresh mountain flowers and air of celebration at every turn. A lovely figure he was. Charming as he was handsome and still even smarter than his looks. He taught, he cultivated the young. He drank and accompanied the old. He worked the fields and joined their meals. His wisdom was meant for all, and his attention spread even wider.

He never stayed for long, however. As soon as the cold settled in the god would move out once more. When autumn set and the last harvest was brought in the deity would vanish, leaving the season of decay free reign. He was a travelling deity, looking for places to settle down upon, his followers in tow, the grounds he left desolate, the grounds he entered thriving. But what he was travelling for the god had long forgotten. What he sought had been a memory shrivelled up like the autumn leaves that let go of their branch.

It was when the god arrived in a barren land that he found this might change. Just as usual the people celebrated his grace, worshipping his powers as they added titles to his name, erecting shrines in his honour. They even gave him a wife, as it sometimes was common amongst humans to marry a maiden to serve a god. The people flocked, the lands prospered, the country grew healthy and then the people would forget once more, indulging in their pride and their given wealth.

But as always there was one change that made this story different from all the others. Cunning as the people were from that once barren land they had found a way to tie the god down before he could even think of leaving. They had long since laid out a trap for the god to fall in by giving him a wife. A trap that would keep the deity tied to the land. For as lonely as the god was, a name was tricked from his lips with the help of bodily indulgence and a promise of company. With the strike of his name on a piece of blessed wood tied to a tree the deity was never to escape. Never did the people have to worry about winter again, for the god was chained to their lands.  

Generations pass once more, and the name of the deity that the people had trapped is lost to the tides of time. Like humans often do when their lives are absent of any hardships and tragedy they have forgotten the hand that fed them. The god is still looking for his name, hoping to free it one day from the land to which he is tied. It is why this serves as a cautionary tale, for all who hear the question to their name should make sure that it cannot be abused.

With the tale told the children gaped, a frown on their faces as one of them raised the question all asked:

“But don’t we have winters again?”

It was a sound question, honest as well as sharp and the storyteller laughed, a chuckle before the answer was given.

“It is a tale from long ago. I wonder if this means that the god found his name,” came the answer, mischief twinkling in the eyes, as if they knew more but were unwilling to say anything.

“How long ago? I would love to never experience winter again,” a farmer complained and once more the storyteller chuckled at the folly of the expression. For what was dearer than watching the four seasons melt into one other?

“Then perhaps you ought to search for the deity’s name again and renew the lease.”

With that said the storyteller got up, leaving the crowd at the foot of the temple where markets were selling signs. Blank wooden planks and holy ink, for a blessed love, to see out the true name of one beloved.

Somewhere in the crowd a man stood out. Taller than most, broad like a mountain and sturdy in build. Handsome features set in an ageless face with infinite wisdom hidden behind those warm eyes.

“Shingen?” the storyteller called, earning the attention of the man so far unnamed.

A smile crossed the fine features of the man, his hand extending to the taleteller. “Yes, dearest?” his voice came in a rumble and it was in that moment that all adoration and worship for one person could be read in his eyes along with much more.

Joining his side the storyteller took the hand of the man named Shingen, pulling him away from the crowd that was brushing past, hurrying for the celebration of their village and the good harvest they had managed.

“What are you thinking about right now?” came the question and to this Shingen smile broadened, his face lowering as he brushed his lips against the forehead of his beloved.

“You,” he murmured.

“Seriously?” Incredulous as ever this earned the man a shove to the shoulder before a hand was caught by another, firm and strong, like the forests of a mountain.

“How seriously I like you,” came the smart retort and once more a chuckle escaped his partner who allowed the man to indulge in their scent, not minding the public display of affection before they pulled away from the crowd once more, heading into the direction of the mountains nearby.

“I’m trying to ask if you regret the choice of giving me your name,” the question finally rang and Shingen stopped for a bit, a smile crossing his features that revealed as much as it hid, explaining all and saying nothing at the same time. It was the smile of a deity that knew all and didn’t mind having lost it all the same.

“Not when you say my name,” was his quip, a wink following and once more the storyteller couldn’t help but roll their eyes, knowing that the answer was all the same as it rang true. 

A pinch in the hand, and then pout from the man himself, “though, couldn’t you make it a bit more romantic?” Shingen asked, clearly not liking the version you had told just now. To this you laughed, shaking your head.

“Only when you tell it.” And the two of them exchanged a grin, a deal sealed for the following year.

[putschki1969]

Reflectin on 2020 at my own pace〜 Hikaru//’s Free Writing Vol.#6 〜

Hello, this is Hikaru//.

These days, I spend all my time in production, preparing to deliver new music to everyone. When I am not too busy I think it is very important to find time to relax, are all of you finding enough time to relax?  I would really like to know how everyone is spending their relax time.

Well, this column I would like to reflect on 2020.

To put it simply, I think 2020 was the year that my solo project H-el-ical// started properly. I feel like H-el-ical// is slowly taking shape.

My big milestones were that I was able to release two singles, "Altern-ate-" and "disclose", I also produced two mini-albums that were exclusively available at the live venue and via mail order. So overall I felt like I was working all year round. Since I started working as H-el-ical// things have been very different since I no longer just sing the songs that are given to me, there is so much more to think about now, so many processes that I had never before taken into consideration. What kind of lyrics to add to a specific song? How to sing a certain song? People sometimes ask me, “isn’t it hard?” but honestly, I am enjoying myself.

It's a lot of fun to step into an unknown territory and to be able to write lyrics about whatever springs to mind. Even when it comes to my singles which are theme songs for animes, I try to find my own words to convey the atmosphere while still respecting the origin work.

As for the other songs I made, I tried to make them poetic, using words that came to mind when thinking about the overarching themes I had chosen for my albums. In a way, I was free to do whatever I wanted, it was a very casual production.

When being asked whether or not it was tough to do all that, I can’t really come up with a good answer but taking into account that I wrote around 15 songs throughout the past year, I will have to admit that I was struggling to find new words, there was certainly a lack of vocabulary. I realised that there were certain words that I really liked and I kept using them a lot *laughs* I want to increase my vocabulary in the future.

What I learned from writing lyrics is that I may want to convey something particular. So even if our world views are different, I want the core of my message to stay the same. But how to best express that thing you want to convey? I think that is one of the issues I will continue to tackle in 2021.

As for me as a singer, I feel that as I grow older, I have to find way of xpression and singing styles that suit my age. Even if I sing the same words that I sang many years ago, it seems that the meaning and colouring of the words is different depending on whether you sing something in your 20s or your 30s.

As I keep on living and gaining experience, a single word will become so much more loaded, by adding different shades to my singing I think there is a lot more that can be conveyed to everyone, be it people that are older, younger or the same age as myself.

Coming back to the previously mentioned singles, in May 2020, I made my major debut as solo singer when I released the theme song "Altern-ate-" for the TV anime "Gleipnir" under the label NBC Universal.

I was incredibly moved when the episode of "Gleipnir" with my song "Altern-ate-" was first broadcast on TV. I have not mentioned this before but my body was actually trembling so much, more so than I had ever expected *laughs*. I guess that was the moment I truly felt the gratitude of being a solo artist.

Of course I was always moved when I saw our our songs being aired during my time in Kalafina, but that felt a little different. Now it is only my vocals you hear in the song that is airing on TV alongside the end credits of an anime. At first, I couldn't even see the screen properly., everything was so blurry The tension was just too high *laughs*. When I saw the name H-el-ical// on the screen I almost broke into tears, I still remember that moment clearly now.

What was really though in 2020 was the fact that my live 『H-el-ical// Acoustic LlVE 2020～elements～』which was scheduled to be held on April 5 had to be cancelled due to corona. I'm beyond happy that I was able to have a proper comeback by holding 『H-el-ical// acoustic LIVE 2020 「咲 -SHOW-」』 on December 29. Thank you to everyone who came to the venue and send their support from afar!

My impression of my first live performance in about 13 months can be summarised in a few words, I felt completely "burned out ..." *laughs*. During my daytime MC I told everyone, "I'll do my very best without thinking about saving energy for my night performance" and as a result I sang with all my might and ended up being completely exhausted *laughs*. Afterwards I thought to myself, "Somehow I have to restore my energy in time for the night performance!" I did my very best to achieve a proper revival so I could stand on stage with all my strength.

To be honest, I didn't expect so many people to come to the venue. I was trembling and vervous when the performance started, but I was also so very touched when I saw how many of you had turned up *laughs*. When the first song was over and the audience are was illuminated, I got to see everyone’s face and almost started crying. I truly felt like I was able to hold a proper conversation with everyone that day.

I still cannot believe that I got the chance to hold that live in our current situation. I think some fans in the audience might have been curious because they were seeing me perform for the first time as a solo artist so they wondered what my solo live would be like but due to the pandemic, this live was quite different and many decisions had to be made by the organiser.  Everyone who participated also had to think hard about whether they wanted to take the risk of attending. That's why I was really able to treasure and appreciate my luck, I was truly blessed to be able to hold that live. After it was over, everyone involved told me, "it looked like you had a blast," and yes, it’s true, for me it felt like, "if I didn’t enjoy this precious time to the fullest, wouldn't it be a great loss?"

In fact, everyone’s joy and happiness was conveyed even through the masks, so I was also able to have a good time. Once again, I feel like I was able to have a solid “conversation” with all of you. It was a very, very special time. Thank you so much.

I'm looking for more things to do in 2021. I am taking in suggestions by staff members too because I want to broaden my horizon. First and foremost though I feel like it is very important to get more people to know about H-el-ical// so I will work hard and spare no effort in spreading awareness.

I will also contine to collaborate with SPICE by updating this column, I think I can learn a lot by doing this. How can I best write this to highlights the charms of my experiences so everyone enjoys reading about it? I always worry about this when I write my column but it is a lot of fun, especially when I get positive feedback on Twitter and you let me know that people are actually interested in what I have to say. This is a different kind of “conversation” that Iam able to hold with you.

In addition, I feel that I have the opportunity to do some self-reflection when writing down my thoughts like this. I guess it’s like having a dialogue with yourself rather than just thinking about something? In the future I would like to continue worrying and spreading joy by talking about all kinds of things. Of course I will have to keep my deadlines in mind! *laughs*

And here’s a bonus photo. One of my favourite ways to relax is to take a bath. Recently I have always had a candle and a bottle of water with me.

Well then, until next time.

[snarkywrites]

Saturn in Aquarius: New Terrain

Saturn enters the sign of Aquarius on March 21st. This can bring a lot of gloom and doom to some people, but this is generally an exciting period of time as we see the end of one chapter with Saturn in Capricorn and get ready for the innovation that this Aquarius transit offers to bring us all. The month of March has been riddled with a lot of challenges, but this is something that we have come to expect, especially with the Saturn and Pluto conjunction from earlier this year still leaving some of the residue after the transit alleviated. With Saturn entering Aquarius, we can expect a drastic change with energy since there won’t be as many planets in the sign of Capricorn, slowing down the potency of its power. In Aquarius we can expect changes in philosophies from many people, a higher dedication from those in power and a need for us all to connect. The last time Saturn was in Aquarius, we saw the birth, expansion and the impact that the internet has had on us all. Technology is such a major aspect of our lives that because of recent events, we have seen how corporations have been forced to embrace sending employees to work from home, entrepreneurs are being pushed to incorporate technology into their small businesses more and educational systems have also been pushed into distance schooling. A major shift at the 29th Degree of Saturn in the sign of Capricorn, showing a mirror of what is to come for the next three months, and then Saturn will go back from Aquarius into Capricorn. By 2021, we will have a clearer picture of what we will be expecting and how the innovations of Saturn in Aquarius will shift the entire collective for the next 30 years when it returns to this sign.

Aries – The last few years you have been focused on establishing your place in the world; concentrating on top goals and trying to spark the energy within to tackle any challenges. Saturn in Capricorn was a test, not only for your sign, but for all Cardinals. You may have learned a lot about yourself, how you present yourself to the world and what the world views you as. If you had trouble managing your temper, this transit was going to teach you how to be more in control and diplomatic. To second guess showing your rage and to carry yourself more maturely were more focal points. Capricorn is a sign of self-control, putting the reigns on your impulsive sign. With the shift into Aquarius, your focus will be on putting into practice what was learned during Saturn in Capricorn. These tools can help you achieve greatness if you practice patience. Most likely, you will be accustomed to taking on roles that demand for you to be in positions of power with grace. Interpersonal relationships now take on a greater meaning to help you climb higher and reach for more. Continue to dream and believing in yourself but know that depending on how well your connections are with the collective will determine how much further you can advance.

Taurus – While Saturn in Capricorn focused on how you broadened your stances as well as promoted the exploration of philosophies, you are now going to be given a taste of what you will deal with for the next three years beginning 2021. This brief transit will be eye opening for you, especially as it will shift your attention to the future. Saturn in Aquarius will be applying some pressures on your sign, to become more comfortable in the spotlight, to get ready to take action and to set a good foundation for what you want to achieve in the future. This transit is a rebuilding for your character, and it will show you sides of yourself you did not know of until now. Don’t panic, embrace this. It will be a very tough road ahead, but this will be a very satisfying transit and one that you will look back on in the future. For now, when everything feels overwhelming, make sure to take that step back and analyze what plans need to be made and restructured in order to keep on going. Success is within your reach, so get ready for the impossible.

Gemini – You experienced intensity during Saturn in Capricorn which pushed you to the limits, making it almost too much to bear. But now things will be changing for more pleasant waters as you dip your toes into Saturn in Aquarius. You will be more thankful for this change because it takes off some of the pressures you had faced in the last thee years. It will be a surprise to have this upcoming shift in sign, because things will be more aligned with what your sign represents. This Saturn in Aquarius transit will be more on the spiritual level as you embrace new methods of thinking and will dive into learning more about the collective. As Saturn moves into an air sign, you will be more willing to embrace what it has to offer and learn from it. Your view of the world will change, as Saturn continues to rise up towards the highest point in your chart. Get ready for a new experience, that will teach you more about yourself

Cancer – Saturn in Capricorn taught you about sacrifices and understanding the meaning of relationships. This transit was a learning experience as you dealt with coping with your selfishness and ability to compromise with partnerships. This does not only affect your romantic partnerships, but your friendships as well. The ugly sides might have crept through as you noticed some disheartening sides to you, but you learned. In Capricorn, you focused on the dynamic you had with others. When Saturn moves into the sign of Aquarius later this month, you will see the impact that the lessons in Capricorn have taught you. It will be a moment of self-discovery, of shedding old ways and learning to handle the psychological aspects of yourself that you might have been repressing. Saturn in Aquarius will force you to break some chains, make things uncomfortable as you dive deeper in your mind to seek answers. It is a radical period for you, but you will learn to navigate through it. A shift in mentality will be focused on your stability, how you see yourself and your place in the world.

Leo – This transit will be an eye opener for you since you will now be on some unexpected terrain. With Saturn in Capricorn, you learned what it meant to work hard in order to move forward. For the last three years, you were put to the test and experienced some highs and lows because you may have felt as if your efforts were in vain. But you are close to the finish line. Saturn in Capricorn taught you endurance and to practice (a lot of) patience. It was a way to explore parts of yourself that you did not want to confront. In Capricorn, the struggle might have felt endless and each test was harder than the last. Now, with Saturn entering Aquarius, you will feel some of that weight lifted (for three months) before it retrogrades back in Capricorn. With this new shift in sign, you will understand your dynamic with others and the value in relationships and partnerships. It can be a period of reflection and more frustration as you decide who to keep in your personal space and who to isolate. Here you will flirt back and forth with the idea of asserting your independence but at the same time practice a form of codependency. Nevertheless, you will find your footing and push on forward to understanding yet another piece of you.

Virgo – You have been feeling the pressure of this upcoming transit just looming. For years, it might have felt as if every moment of potential happiness just withered and faded. But you Saturn in Capricorn has taught you that the show must go on, even when life moves too fast for you to keep up. You have embraced practicing being in hermit mode, opting to stay away from the drama and learn more about yourself and keeping close to your loved ones. You may have even ended a few close connections and relationships in order to “find yourself” but now you will be accustomed to the energy that Saturn in Aquarius will bring to your life starting this upcoming week for its three month stint and then later this year before we look toward 2021. Virgos will be able to handle this energy (surprisingly) because Saturn in Aquarius will ask “what can you do for me today?” As the sign that enjoys tasks and service, you will be more than willing to take on the challenges that will be presented in your day to day life. This is comfortable energy for you, especially since it will reshape how you approach your daily routines and it might even prompt you to begin (or make more of an effort) to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Libra – Saturn in Capricorn may have brought some nightmare moments to a few of you as you struggled with establishing some foundations to expand your roots while dealing with the pressures of the world. This transit might have shaken you to your core, but it forced you to evolve, to become stronger and to cope with the changes that were to come. During this three-year transit, you learned how to steer through waters that you were not familiar with. While Saturn in Capricorn will be gifting you a coat of armor, you will be using this to further expand during the Saturn in Aquarius transit. Since Saturn will be in a fellow air sign, you might be more receptive to the transition. It may or may not feel seamless at first, as we pull further and further away from the Earth sign’s domain and acclimate to the air sign’s energy. Here you will learn about what matters to you and what you should not be taking for granted. It might also feel as if you are going through a slump, but this is just the grounding needed in order to prepare for what comes next. Your coat of armor will be strengthened, and you will endure when this transit officially begins in 2021.

Scorpio – While you faced challenges in the last two years under Saturn in Capricorn with communication. You have made peace with some old issues with siblings or distant relatives thanks to this Jupiter transit which may have alleviated any tensions. Now with Saturn entering the sign of Aquarius, you will deal with your roots and foundation. Saturn in Aquarius might feel like the rug is being pulled from under you, as you find a way to regain your footing. The transit begins this week, for three months and then it will retrograde back into the sign of Capricorn. You will see what aspects of your life need to be stabilized and it might even all begin with home. Aquarius promises to make you rethink how you view your comfort zones and what changes you can make or that Saturn will decide to make for you. A lot of patience will be needed with this transit, as it will be a learning period for you. After this transit, you will look back and think on how the old you has transformed into a formidable leader.

Sagittarius – You might feel like the veteran now with these Saturn transits since Saturn in Sagittarius was a bit of a doozy not only for you, but for the collective. We experienced a new era in politics and how it related to humanity through Saturn’s transit in your sign. In Capricorn, you felt the relief, but the pressures of stabilizing the material and how it related to you. Now, with Saturn in Aquarius, you will go back to the philosophical moments that your sign brought. It will be a comfortable transit, riddled with its own challenges but you will be mentally stimulated by what it has to offer. Your perception of the world and how it will impact you comes to play. You will also become more aware of the impact that your words might have as well as the strength of your connections with others. You might even want to partake in making changes for the collective or become a disruptive force with your pen. Take heed and be wise now. Saturn will teach you the patience needed when it comes to expression, which can cause conflict and frustrations with others. Remember to take things one day at a time, to keep going strong and to think before you speak.

Capricorn – An awakening with the shift from Saturn in Capricorn to Aquarius. The mountain of responsibilities and challenges begins to slowly dissipate as you await the verdict on everything that you have dealt with so far. The next three months will be a bit of a Spring Break for you as you sort and put yourself back together. The puzzle pieces that have been left at your disposal will now scream out for you to put them back in place. You have learned a lot; you have dealt with the trials and have found the key to everything. Your period of reflection begins now, as you shed the skin of the past and look forward to a new chapter in your life. Saturn in Aquarius will make you focus on solidifying your foundations, on reclaiming your power and bringing order to what you foresee in the future. It all begins now with the struggles you will face with finances and how you relate to the material. Put your game face on, especially during the Saturn and Mars conjunction in Aquarius happening later this month.

Aquarius – Saturn is finally in your sign, bringing a moment of transformation that will begin for the next three months. Saturn officially enters Aquarius December 2020, so use this period as a learning guide for what you will be expecting early next year. The last couple of years might have felt like a dream state where you were waiting for something to finally wake you up. You have felt the calm before the storm for years now, struggling with any internal battles, waiting for the resolution to your problems as you seek others for guidance in understanding what was happening and where you were going. As an Aquarius, you were probably more concerned with your place in the world and the connection, the dwindling connections between you and the outside world probably created pressures. Saturn in your sign will break down aspects of yourself and rebuild them into stronger versions. This transit will be tough, because it is happening in your sign but the rewards after it will be worth it. It is a period of hard work, reflection and changes. Life lessons learned during this period will help you grow more in the future. Now is the beginning of your moment of empowerment because after this transit is officially over (three years from now) you will be more powerful and shine brighter than before.

Pisces – Pisces placements can pretty much handle most transits that deal with the subconscious and Saturn in Aquarius will be something you might be able to understand. Saturn in Aquarius brings you back to your moments you felt most vulnerable and makes you evaluate your sentiments regarding them. This shift will be an eye-opening experience, but for the brief period Saturn is in Aquarius you will learn what to expect beginning in December 17th, 2020. All the lessons that have been learned throughout the years will be pivotal for this transit. It will make you more in tune with who you are and will awaken some of those moments that you have felt weak and powerless. Nevertheless, you are used to finding your inner strength and emerging more powerful from the darker times. While Saturn in Capricorn taught you how to cooperate with the collective, to come together as a team, this brief transit will show you what it can feel like to be alone but to find your greatest ally in the darkness, which is you.

[angst-fairygodmother]

Ground Control (Luther Hargreeves x Reader)

A/N: I was just minding my own business, listening to a little David Bowie, and my brain suddenly made me feel Luther Feelings...so I figured why not. Word Count: 1315 Content Warning: none Now cross-posted to AO3: here

Your first communication with Luther Hargreeves had been an accident. A solar flare had scrambled some signals and redirected his call somehow to your line, reaching a non-emergency medical helpline instead of his father. At first you thought he was having some sort of delusional episode and tried to carefully guide him through it, following the script you had been taught in your much-too-short training only a few weeks before. When you finally realized who he was, and that he was not in any distress, your misunderstanding had led to a moment of awkward laughter and what you thought might have been clumsy attempt a pickup line (“Well if I was delusional, at least I still would have gotten to talk to you”) and you staying on the line with him well into your lunch break, only for him to disconnect abruptly as a result of whatever tinkering he had been trying to do while you chatted.

The loss of the connection made you unexpectedly sad, but you tried to shrug it off and forget the odd encounter. Instead, you couldn’t get the sound of his voice, his laugh, out of your head. You found yourself writing him little notes and letters, just talking about your day or news events, or something you saw that made you smile. They were meaningless and obviously, you never sent them, and if you were being honest, they made you feel a little silly, but they were something to pass the time.

On a rainy, slow work day a few weeks later, you were fiddling with a pen, bouncing it off the desk repeatedly and trying to catch it in the air, when one of your coworkers popped their head over the top of your cubicle.

“Hey, there’s some guy on the line asking specifically for you. Says you helped him pass time on the moon before?”

You shot straight up in your chair, grabbing at your receiver a little too quickly and insisting they transfer him to you, but luckily they took it as concern for a ‘patient’ and nodded.

“Hello?” you asked, heart racing in your chest.

“Hi,” came his shy voice, a little awkward but sweet and you tried to imagine what he might look like. “It’s uh, it’s Luther Hargreeves.”

“I figured by the mention of the moon,” you teased. “Did something happen with the connection again?”

“No. I was…I wanted to try and call you again. I felt bad about how our last conversation ended.”

“It was rather…abrupt.”

“And also, I liked talking to you. It’s pretty lonely up here on the moon.”

You felt your face grow hot with a blush and thanked your lucky stars that he couldn’t see the stupid grin that spread across your face at his words.

“Oh,” you said lamely.

“Yeah. I hope that’s okay. I didn’t even think about how it’s probably creepy. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s very sweet actually. But I am at work so I can’t really…look I’m not supposed to do this but I can give you my home number and if you ever want to talk, you can reach me there?”

“I’d like that a lot, Y/N. Thank you.”

~

That conversation marked the beginning of something between you and Luther Hargreeves, though you weren’t rightly sure what to call it. Every two weeks or so, you’d get a call, usually late at night, and you’d make a cup of coffee and sit on the sill of your window, as far as the phone-cord could stretch, looking up at the moon while you talked to him about everything, anything, nothing at all. Sometimes he would just reminisce and tell stories about his childhood. Others you would tell him about your day and how utterly unfulfilled you were feeling at your job, and then later that you quit it to go back to school and learn to do something more proactive and about your classes. Your unsent letters and imaginary correspondence quickly became real conversations, and the feelings you had been resisting continued to develop.

Your favorite nights were the ones where he just described the view: how blue the earth was from up above, the pattern of the swirling clouds, and the mapwork of lights whole cities that were just tiny points, even smaller than the stars.

When you said you wished you could see it, he agreed, that it would be nice for you to be there with him instead of so far away.

“Oh really?” you felt yourself smirk as you teased him.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m all alone up here, it might be nice to have someone else with me.”

Your heart dropped. Was he just desperate for companionship rather than wanting you specifically?

“And I feel like I really know you, and I can trust you. I’m not actually good at talking to people most of the time, but with you, Y/N, it feels so easy.”

“Well, I’m glad I make you feel comfortable,” you said, smiling. “Because I really enjoy talking to you, I look forward to it a lot.”

“My life is so much better because of that solar flare you know,” he said. “I think the universe wanted us to meet.”

“Luther…”

“I’m serious, Y/N.  I don’t have a lot of people in my life, besides my family. I never have. But I can tell anyway that you’re special. And when I come back to Earth, I’d really like to meet you, maybe take you to dinner? But even if I can’t or you don’t want to, I…planning all the things I want to tell you the next time we talk has made being up here bearable.”

You felt your eyes welling up with tears. “Oh Luther…” you fell silent as you tried to wrap your head around everything he was saying. You found yourself listening to the gentle crooning of a radio from one of the apartments below, focusing in on it as if it was all that was anchoring you in place, and it filled you with an overwhelming certainty.

There’s a starman, waiting in the sky, he’s told us not to blow it, ‘cause he knows it’s all worthwhile…

‘Don’t blow this,’ you told yourself.

“Y/N?” Luther’s voice pulled you back to yourself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong or scare you or anything…”

“No, Luther, it’s okay. It’s not that…I mean you didn’t…I just never expected you to maybe feel the same way I did. I mean, I’ve been falling for you for months, and I thought it would be one-sided, some unrequited crush. You are incredible, both your past and the things you’ve done with your family, and what you’re doing now. I mean…I’m just an ordinary person, I can’t compare to space or saving the world or…all that.”

“You don’t have to Y/N. I don’t want you compete with my life, I just…want you to be part of it.”

“I think I’d like that, a lot.”

“It’s a date.”

Your heart fluttered at the thought and you fought down a girlish squeal, determined not to devolve into a teen with a crush on a popstar, even if that was the way he made you feel.

“I have to go soon,” he admitted reluctantly.

You pouted at the phone even though he couldn’t see it before a devilish idea. “Well if you really must…hey, you said you wished I was up there with you right?”

“Yeah, I did. But really I just meant that I wished I was in the same place as you instead of hundreds of thousands of miles apart.”

“I dunno, I think I like the sound of it. The two of us, up there. All alone together. Imagine the things we could get up to.”

You heard him choke back a groan and your smirk broadened.

“Anyway, goodnight Luther. Have…pleasant dreams.”

[sepublic]

Lilith’s Recovery

            Rambling on how Lilith could begin her road to recovery in Season 2; Get this lady some friends and people in her life that AREN’T Eda, please! For her entire life, Lilith has constantly narrowed down her vision to only herself and Eda, and everything she does or views about herself is more or less in relation to Eda- Be it being better than Eda, being weaker as penance for the curse, curing Eda of the curse, Eda’s disconnect from the Emperor’s Coven is clearly about her feelings towards Lilith and not the system, paying only attention to how Eda is affected and not everybody else…

           The woman has constantly used Eda as a litmus test for, well, just about everything. Lilith needs to learn that there’s more to life than Eda, that she can make other friends besides Eda… She needs to learn some independence, because it seems like she doesn’t know how to function as her own person. Lilith is always latching onto someone… In the end, helping teach Lilith to make new friends, to form active connections and expand her support network- That’s a good thing!

           Lilith needs to learn not to compare herself to Eda so much… Nor compare herself to anyone else, for that matter! The Coven System is toxic in part because it’s always comparing individuals and attempting to sort them out into some sort of hierarchy, instead of letting people exist as they are, unique in their own way but not necessarily better! Obviously Lilith has her own things she wants to be good at, of course…

           Which gets me onto another point! Get this girl some hobbies. Get this girl any activities that aren’t solely about Eda, let Lilith learn to enjoy herself on her own, and with other people. Let Lilith recognize that she can enjoy life without necessarily needing the approval of this ONE person, even if she shouldn’t completely disregard them either (unless they’re a total asshole like Belos). And, I think it’d help to get Lilith to find hobbies and things to do that aren’t necessarily useful or pragmatic –even if she definitely has to help with chores too- because the Coven System, again… It tells kids that their interests aren’t valid unless they serve some sort of pragmatic use, that kids need to constantly focus on being useful, and not just being happy with themselves- That they need to actively justify their passions in life!

           I’m sure Lilith would LOVE to simplify the answer of what do with her own existence, by devoting herself completely to Eda and the others… But in the end, it’s not going to truly fix things. She needs to learn to live for herself, to just enjoy things withut having to justify herself for it. That isn’t to say whatever hobbies she finds can’t be useful, because I don’t want to place any limitations on her either… And similarly, that doesn’t mean Lilith shouldn’t help at all, period, especially since she definitely has a lot of damage she needs to repair. But she needs to learn that once the damage has been dealt with, she’s allowed to simply just exist on her own. In general, I think just emotionally healing Lilith, helping build up her sense of self-worth and confidence, making her happier… I think it’ll be a decent catalyst for character development, because one doesn’t do terrible things –at least not usually- because they’re in a good mood and aren’t questioning themselves.

           Similarly, getting to know other people can expand and broaden Lilith’s worldview, and teach her not to be apathetic to others. She needs to see that her consequences have actions not JUST with Eda, but other people, like Amity, Luz, King, etc. An apology here or there would help, but Lilith also needs to recognize and admit how messed-up the Coven System is, the corruption and wrongdoings of Belos, etc. For decades, Eda couldn’t truly reconcile with Lilith because of her support and enforcement of a horrible system… She didn’t know about the curse until VERY recently! Lilith needs to see and acknowledge the decisions that Eda made, that she has her own agency and that Lilith isn’t entitled to everything her sister does.

           Just as Lilith shouldn’t devote everything to Eda, Eda shouldn’t do the same vice-versa. Eda DID love Lilith, but she has more to her life than just her sister, and can’t dedicate all of her actions and time to helping Lilith. It doesn’t have to be just the two girls VS the world, there a lot of people willing to extend a hand to help, and there are plenty of hands that Lilith and Eda have to offer themselves. Lilith needs to recognize that just as she herself is personally at fault for a lot of things (even if the system certainly didn’t help), Eda also had plenty of agency herself… And by recognizing the power of agency, Lilith can learn to appreciate the ability to make a choice to be better, and do good things.

           Really, it seems like the girl has torn herself down too much, beneath her mask of pride and supposed superiority! Making someone feel way worse isn’t going to teach them to constructively fix things, it seems- That’s just destructive. One should focus instead on building up Lilith as a character, telling her that she messed up but also that she can at least work to repair things… Like Luz with Amity, she can fix this- Maybe not her own, maybe together with others? At the very least, Lilith can choose to stop doing bad things- That’s a good start and she seems to have begun THAT at least!

           It also helps to better hammer it into Lilith’s head, that she needs to confront issues, or at least acknowledge them… That sweeping things under the rug isn’t going to help. You can’t be a coward forever… Lilith needs to recognize the ugly truth of situations before she can improve upon them, or else accept them- Otherwise she only has herself to blame for quietly suffering. And while obviously if Lilith DOES make mistakes and relapse here or there, and she should still give herself some room for forgiveness, it’s ultimately for the chance to make things right, and NOT keeping making mistakes, or at least fix the effects of past ones. Lilith is going to have to be a lot more considerate about things…

           And, I know I said it before- But I think some interactions with King would be great! I wouldn’t be shocked if he continued to be more open and receptive to Lilith for a wide number of reasons… But it’s not out of the question for him to maintain hostility, as he was ALSO critical of himself for the same mistakes he saw in Lilith, not to mention Lilith WAS technically ‘on the other side’, did worse, and isn’t literal physical danger. I think with King, Lilith could learn to vent and acknowledge her own darker feelings and insecurities, maybe recognize that she’s not a complete monster for having them… And from there, actually work on these things! King knows what the road looks like, he can give Lily a lot of guidance on whether or not she’s messing up or relapsing, about being honest with how you feel… Learning that you don’t have to be above others nor compare yourself, etc.

           Again, a lot of this is King’s choice as well- He doesn’t exactly owe Lilith anything. While he could definitely help A LOT with Lilith, I feel… He’s also allowed to bear a grudge, too. Or, at least not want to put in the effort to ‘fix’ Lilith… It’s important for Lilith to recognize that trying to make up for things doesn’t erase them and that lingering feelings are valid. But at the same time, it doesn’t HAVE to be hopeless… And even if it is, well. You still have other connections to maintain, more connections to make if you wanted… And on your own, one is a worthwhile individual as-is.

           Maybe when the dust has somewhat settled, perhaps we can see Lilith air a grievance or two, because even if she HAS messed up a lot, that doesn’t mean she has zero judgment and nothing to offer… If Eda was too harsh in the past in her own way (not that it would remotely justify the curse), maybe it’d help Lilith AND Eda, for Lilith to bring this up as another reason as to her crippling insecurity. Eda is receptive, she’s willing to learn from Luz who’s merely fourteen, she knows that she alone does not hold all of the knowledge in the world…

           And while obviously Lilith is a lot more sus as a formerly-blind enforcer of the Emperor’s Coven, I wouldn’t be shocked if Eda blamed herself a little for not ‘rescuing’ her sister… For not leading Lilith down the right path alongside her, or at least away from blind devotion to Belos of all people. But I think if Eda had her moments of imperfection that could’ve contributed to Lilith’s poor decisions, then that should be addressed, at least for Lilith AND Eda’s good, so Eda can better understand what happened with her sister and how to avoid this again, be it with Lilith or anyone else.

           Obviously Lilith has a lot of personal culpability amidst the system making things worse… But I think it’d be good for both sisters, for Eda to at least understand a grievance or two of Lilith’s. That neither is necessarily perfect, and not ‘better’ than the others… (Granted I don’t blame Eda for proclaiming superiority back when Lilith implied her own inferiority as justification for using Luz as a hostage, that seemed more in retaliation than a genuine belief- And let’s be real, she WAS better in the sense that serving the EC is objectively bad).

           It’s interesting to me. I think Lilith needs to recognize/learn where she’s good at, in her own things, in her own way… Maybe not necessarily that she’s better at some things than Eda is. Granted, it’s easy to tell Lilith not to compare herself and be happy with who she is, when one is at the top… Lilith still DOES have legitimate insecurity. And it might not be just enough, nor healthy, to simply have her be ‘resigned’ to being worse… Because again, nobody is better or worse, we’re all equal here. Though, it’s worth noting that even if Eda WAS better than Lilith, that doesn’t mean Eda should actively hinder herself just for Lilith’s own feelings, that’s not fair to Eda... Especially since Eda low-key already held herself back in the past, to let Lilith into the Emperor’s Coven. Eda should be allowed to pursue the full scope of things she enjoys to the fullest, without worrying about holding herself down to Lilith’s level, just for Lilith’s sake. Plus, Lilith was already better than most (she became Head of the Emperor’s Coven after all), it just apparently wasn’t enough to be among the best- She had to be THE best, or at least better than Eda, which ties back to what I said about Lilith to narrowing her existence and worldview to just the two of them.

           Lilith can still compete with Eda like old times, but in a healthy sense… That her entire self-worth isn’t based on it. That she’s still good at other things. And I think maybe Eda needs to step back for a moment, and help reassure Lily of this… That she never thought lesser of her for being ‘weaker’ (or at least she won’t anymore), that her issue came from Lilith being a covenscout and hurting actual people. But still, Lilith is also her own person who is unique and has her own individual worth, she isn’t ‘replaceable’ and she needs to recognize how she accomplishes this… Be it through whatever emotional connections she can provide and receive from others, her own personal interests and skills, etc.

           I don’t expect the road to recovery to be linear, ideal, nor efficient. Not that it CAN’T be, but these characters ARE just like the rest of us in that they’re not perfect and just trying their best. Amidst shenanigans, plot-events, and maybe having to be pragmatic and make Lilith be useful now and then… Well, they say progress isn’t linear. I suppose that could mean that there is no one, right path to recovery and character development. The cast may not get to immediately address Lilith in a super-efficient, meaningful manner, stuff may just happen… But at least an effort should be made, and that alone can be good. The fact that you’re trying means a lot in the end.

[whale-shark-queen]

Also I wanted to make a post talking about this

N is such a lanky skinny lad. You find a rare candy on the floor in his room but otherwise just from that and how Ghetsis is with him one could probably glean Ghetsis probably kept him on a strict diet to maintain this idea of an ~ideal king~ who was free of worldly wants other than the stuff in his room that clearly must have sufficed for the nearly 20-or so years N was locked in there to keep him 'innocent' and child-like, and that rare candy was probably the one treat N would be allowed as a reward. Or of course, he was keeping it there for his Pokemon friends. But I like to imagine the former, and that N secretly has a HUGE sweet tooth.

I... really think N would be the type to gain weight from getting to eat a lot. And I'm saying this as a chubbo myself who is quite on the fence about fat characters who are shown to love food--

I both hate when anime/anime style games have skinny characters who get to wolf down massive meals and are seen as cute for it despite staying skinny while the fat character has constant food and fat jokes made around them (looking at you, Danganronpa 2 and also Genshin Impact to an extent) but at the same time I adore the 'chubby soff chef/baker' trope (NOT looking at you, Danganronpa 2, my heart is for Twogami only) and the idea of a character who is normally skinny and very active getting to 'settle down' after the rush and adventure of the main story, getting to relax and indulge in their favourite food and snacks without having to worry and getting some pudge, or 'going domestic' if you will. I haven't watched any of the Avengers films past the first and a few clips of others but I'm guessing this is partially what happened to Thor. At the same time I realise, why should I have to justify it? Can fat people not simply be allowed to enjoy food? Can skinny people not simply be allowed to enjoy food without having to 'worry' about gaining weight as if it's a bad thing? And to that I say, yes, of course they can, and fuck the stigma attached to it.

Anyway, I just LOOOOVE to imagine N finally trying out new food on his adventures, or maybe even after he reunites with the TouTous, unlearning the strict ways dear old Dicksis instilled into him and gettin chubby. Like it could go two ways;

On his own he might initially feel too stuck in certain ways and be a bit intimidated seeing so many options and stick to what he knows; fruits, veggies, whatever his Pokemon friends and partners would have; very green and healthy but at the same time very simple, boring and bland. He'd most definitley be intruiged seeing the kind of food other people eat but initially would feel he'd have to resist the 'temptation' and avoid cafes/restaurants all together until he finally reunites with the TouTous who are worried sick about him and see he's all scruffy from living as a hobo for 2 years and probably had absolutely not had a good meal in forever so they sit him down at whatever diner they come to first that's open at 3am and order him a big thicc stack of pancakes (vegan for him, of course, guessing his food preferences as such just to be safe) and start bombarding him with questions about where he's been and how he is and WHY DID HE DISAPPEAR only to pause when they notice him poking it and staring at it rather nervously. How does one even EAT this 'panned-cake'? And surely it all can't be for him!

Of course it's for him, he looks practically starved to death, so he takes a bite and a whole new world has opened up for him, it melts in his mouth and makes him feel so warm and fuzzy inside, bringing a huge smile to his face, and he inhales the entire stack, excitedly talking about his adventures and catching up with the TouTous. Of course this would go on for a long time and N would probably timidly ask for any other food recommendations while they're there and even though it's probably just cheap 'nasty' stuff they'd try a little bit of everything together and N feels like his mind has been BLOWN. He's missed out on so much!! He's gotta try more! So the TouTous help broaden his horizons by introducing him to all sorts of delicious meals and snacks and N learns to loosen up, enjoy himself and learn it's okay to indulge!

The other way it could go is if N gets the courage to straight up go for it and discovers new food on his own. That same moment of bliss where he tastes something brand new that lights up his tastebuds and makes him realise how much he's missed out on. I've always imagined he probably has money from Ghetsis squirreled away somewhere so as someone who discovers his enormous sweet tooth and loses all self restraint he'd most definitley buy one of everything from some Kalosian bakery and sit in a forest clearing trying EVERYTHING with his Poke-pals and just having a grand old time

Fast forward to reuniting with Touko and Touya where they notice he's plumped up a bit and-- let's be real, on his own N would try to learn all about human views on pretty much anything and would probably feel some anxiety about his weight at some point -- even though it's perfectly natural for Pokemon to do it while hibernating and to keep safe for winter, human society views gaining weight as some kind of moral failing, but of course the TouTous would be more than happy just to see him and would obviously think he looks super cute with a fluffier body they can hug and squish like a tol marshmallow

Just !! AAAA either way the TouTous would 100000% be supportive as well as Cheren and Bianca (who I also hc as a chubby ball of sunshine) who all suggest new stuff for him to try as well. I also like to think N would love to get into cooking himself as well, since he can apply his love of maths and equations to it to try and find the perfect combinations of ingredients to make the most delicious dish that he would also love to share!

Except for that 'mathematical bagel'. It just makes everyone angry looking at it.

(On a slightly serious note, at that point he'd probably lose a bit of the pompousness (which he does have a tiny bit of in bw1) of some of his concepts of 'elegant vs ugly formulas' when it comes to his opinions of a good meal, as in he'd value a simple dish he may have previously considered 'ugly' for being 'basic' and dislike how arrogant and pretentious 'fancier' dishes can be. Like what the fuck is the point of a deconstructed cheesecake, or deconstructed anything! That's just a gentrified version of being a kid who eats all the lunchable bits separate!)

But yes tldr; let N enjoy food! Let N be chubby! Let chubby N enjoy food and cooking!!! Let him be a soff boy who's perfectly squishy to hug and would 100% love to learn how to cook great meals to share!

[coreastories]

The Talk

Part 9 of Days and Nights of Forever

Tae-Eul had always wondered about something. 

And like everything else, the answer was so simple.

ON AO3 for kudos and download 

They pulled apart and tried not to breathe hard enough to be audible to the other people in the cinema. Thankfully, there was plenty of space for privacy.

It was one of those luxury theaters with real armchairs rather than bucket seats, and it had been so easy for him to maneuver her chair so that she was mostly in his and one moment he was tucking her against his side, the next, he was kissing her and gently biting her lower lip and tasting and laving the sweetness of her tongue and-- 

They both remembered they were in public when someone in the movie screamed. 

Gon took measured breaths and then the ridiculousness of kissing Tae-Eul while the movie showed someone getting mutilated hit him. His deep breaths turned into snorts of amusement he tried to rein in. 

Tae-Eul must have felt him shaking with suppressed laughter. She looked up at his face and hers immediately broke into a rueful grin. She bit her lip and tried not to laugh. 

She lost the battle, covered her face with both hands, and hid her giggling against his chest. 

When she was done, they carried on watching the movie-- people trapped in a train with violently hungry non-humans inside and outside--without any more carrying on except for playing with each other's fingers. 

On a quiet part, Tae-Eul looked up at him again from her position against him, hugging his arm and with their locked hands in her lap. He’d caught her doing these glances for most of the movie, but she always chose to continue watching instead of talking. 

But now the movie was being sentimental, and Tae-Eul had said she hated crying in a public theater, so Gon knew she was going to finally let out whatever was on her mind. 

The last time she’d done a similar ambush, they were in Joseon, with lanterns of wishes rising all around them toward the sky. He'd thought she was going to ask what he had wished for, but she had asked him what he loved about her. 

He had said, “Do you want me to list them all?” 

She had wrinkled her nose, and he’d pointed at that nose. “That is one of them.” (She had just rolled her eyes and later, back in the republic, he had shown her everything he loved about her). 

So now he met her eyes and wondered what was about to come out of those lips. 

“Did you practice with guys?”

Gon choked on air and his own spit and had to cough for a minute. Tae-Eul helpfully rubbed and patted his back. 

“What?”  

“Kissing. Or more. You were in the Naval Academy. You said I’m the only woman in your life.”

“There are women in the Naval Academy.” 

“Huh. So you had dated before?”

“No. It was the Naval Academy. No one had time to date." And because his head was still spinning at her first question, he said, “How can you ask that?” 

“What? That you dated before? It’s a valid ques--”

“No. That thing about practicing with guys.” 

“What’s wrong with it? People do that. Girls practice with girls. Boys with--” 

“You’ve done it?”

“No. I didn’t have any girl friends growing up. Not close enough anyway.”

Despite his discombobulation at Tae-Eul’s question, he found himself smiling ruefully. He still remembered-- and would always remember--little five-year-old Tae-Eul in her taekwondo uniform. Knowing what he now knew of her, he wasn’t surprised that she wouldn’t have fit in with girls-- well, regular girls. 

They were quite a pair. He hadn’t fit in either. He had his mates in crew, but that was it. He was still king, and he had been too busy to make any attempts to correct or broaden people’s first impressions of him. 

“Where did you go? Remembering your practice sessions?” Tae-Eul said impishly. The movie was back on its climactic march to the end, but apparently, they were no longer watching it. 

“I didn’t have ‘practice sessions.’ Of course I have no problem with it if that’s what people do, but it never appealed to me. And… I was lucky they respected my need for distance.” 

“What need for distance?” 

“I didn’t like people touching me.”

Tae-Eul sat up, but she kept hold of his hand. “What do you mean? You told me that before, the first time we met. I thought you were being prissy.”

He blinked. “Didn’t I tell you? There’s not much to tell. I didn’t like people touching me. You know, because of what Lee Lim did.”

She didn’t gasp in realization or anything dramatic like that. Her eyes just widened a fraction, and from the dim light of the cinema screen, Gon saw those eyes he loved so much shine expressively. 

Of course she didn’t know. She had always touched him, and he had always welcomed it. And his current valet and staff are years into the service. She had never seen him recoil from someone because no one else ever made an attempt to touch him like she does. When he did dodge Lady Noh when she had reached for him and his blood-stained face after that confrontation in Busan, Tae-Eul had been unconscious so she wouldn’t remember it. 

In this new timeline, he had no scar. But the memories--and the wounds to his spirit and mind-- remained. 

Tae-Eul looked at him another moment, then lifted her free hand and placed her palm against his neck, thumb stroking his jawline and her hand resting on his shoulder inside the collar of his shirt. “No one touched you like this?”

“No.” He debated on whether to elaborate that he couldn’t even wear a tie, but that might make her cry so he’d save that for later.

“No one kissed you before? You can kiss without touching.” 

He shook his head. “I couldn’t.” 

“But--” She pursed her lips. And Gon could feel his own beginning to grin. He had an idea where this was going.

“But?” 

“Both Seung-ah and Na-ri said if you could kiss so well, you had to have had practice.”

He grinned broadly even if she had stunned him a little again. “What? Both of them?” 

“And In-yeong too.” 

“Do you talk about us to everybody? Maybe the Prime Minister as well?”

Tae-Eul laughed. “Seo-ryeong said you probably kiss horribly and that’s why you wouldn’t kiss her.” 

“I hope you disabused her of that notion.” 

Tae-Eul nodded. She had that gleam in her eye when she was particularly vindictive or possessive, and she grinned. “Oh absolutely.” 

“Good.” 

“So?”

“So what?”

“Did you have practice? How do you-- how do you know how to-- why are you so-- Just tell me. You know what I’m trying to ask.” She slid her hand from his neck to his chest, slapping softly and glaring at his smug grin. He did know. He felt it every time she melted against him when he kissed her. 

He took a deep breath and told her the truth. The part of the truth that made him look good anyway, because those first few times when he had no idea what he was doing with her, he had felt like a fool. But he hadn’t really shamed himself, had he? “I’m just a quick study.” 

“What?”

“I kissed you, and I learned what you liked every time I kissed you. I also… extensively… read about it, about everything. There are certain techniques you don’t want to mess up--” he licked his lips, and she understood what he meant and he grinned when her cheeks went pink-- “but everything else was you. Just taking note of what you like. You’re always so delightfully transparent when you like something.”

He saw her swallow and then she leaned away from him in that bravado she always put on whenever she was discomfited. And she was. He could see it in her eyes and her cheeks and her lips. 

“I don’t believe you,” she said, tilting her chin defiantly. “And listen to how you talk-- you talk like a-- like someone who knows how to talk.” 

She still held his hand because he had tightened his fingers around hers, but their hands were in the space between them now. 

Gon invaded that space and put his mouth next to her ear. 

“Of course I know how to talk. I’m a king. I was trained in diplomacy and the art of influence. But--” he kissed the shell of her ear. “Again, talking to you comes natural to me.” 

“Natural, my butt. Don’t sound so pleased with yourself. You’re a dork.”

“I’m a what?”

She was laughing now, cheeks still pink but recovering. “When I told the girls about your zero and one line, we all laughed.”

Gon pressed his lips together and it was his turn to lean back. 

“I’m surprised at you. I wouldn’t have thought you’d talk about that. Haven’t you evaded Seung-ah’s questions for months?” 

She looked at him disdainfully. “This is what women talk about when we’re not discussing ruling the world.” And then she pouted. “And they were drunk and I wasn’t and I felt like getting back at you.” 

That made him laugh. “All right, then.” 

She was grinning now. “Yeong thinks it’s ridiculous, too.”

“Oh you talked to him too, did you? You and In-yeong and Seung-ah and Yeong? And maybe Jangmi too? Did Yeong tell you the guys went to me for advice when we were in the Academy and then in the Navy?”

She made a disbelieving face. “Really? Advice for lines?”

“Advice for their women, if you must know. Why are you so surprised? I may not like people touching me but I’m not emotionally stunted. I can’t afford to be stunted anywhere. I am well-read. It’s all common sense, anyway. It’s just looking at the situation from the other’s point of view and trying to be considerate. I don’t understand how idiotic people can be about love. Either they’re really clueless or they already know what to do but they need validation or confirmation about it? It’s ridiculous--” 

He stopped ranting when he saw Tae-Eul’s grin turning into that smile he loved, the one where she tilted her head and just looked at him so fondly with a closed-mouthed smile. “You and I agree on that.” 

“We do?”

She nodded, and she went back to his side, hugging his arm again. “I had to give advice about love, too. The guys asked me because I’m a woman. And the girls asked me because I’m… like a man? And I’d never been in a relationship.” 

He ignored that bit about her being like a man. He knew damn well how untrue that statement was. “Well, you’re married now, so you’re in a good place to give advice.” 

“I feel like it doesn’t count.”

“Why doesn’t it count?”

“You’re too good. You never give me any problems.” 

She was looking at the screen as she said that, but she sneaked a peek at him. He showed her how much he loved her for saying that, smiling and laying a kiss on her own smile. She pushed him off before he made it too heated like earlier. 

He smiled and kissed her temple. “I love you. Why would I give you any problems?”

“Dork. But seriously, are you telling me no one has pursued you? No one who made you curious enough to try a kiss or anything else?” 

“Well, when I was 20, I went to Argentina. I met the president Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner--”

“What? She kissed you?!”

Gon laughed. “No. Let me finish. We established trade. Anyway, she had this young aide-- by young I mean she was in her thirties-- and this woman tracked me down to my room at the embassy. I wasn’t there to sleep, I had a hotel, but they still gave me a room. I think the guards thought she had something for me from the president, and that’s what I thought as well--”

“Get on with it!”

Gon laughed. “She came in, gave me the key card to her room at my hotel, and that was it.” 

Tae-Eul looked at him disbelievingly. 

“Well, she couldn’t very well try anything because I had guards in the room with me.”

“Ugh. So did you go to her?”

“Of course not.” 

“But she made you curious? That was what I asked.”

“No, you asked if no one had pursued me, and aside from the Prime Minister, that aide fit the bill.”

“No one else? Didn’t you like anyone? You know, someone who had come to your room, and you sent the guards away or you already have before she even arrived.”

“Not really. That’s why JoGon was born. Didn’t Seung-ah tell you?”

He felt her shake with silent giggling against him. 

“What about you?” he asked. 

“What about me?” she said, without turning from the screen. 

“No dating? No previous kisses?”

“Please. I was pretty hard to impress. If I could flip them bodily to the ground, I lose all thoughts of wanting to kiss them if I even had any. And they always made me do that. It was like a rite of passage to those idiots to see if I can flip them.” 

Gon tried not to laugh, though he also felt a fraction of irritation that none of the idiots apparently saw Tae-Eul as a girl? As a woman? Maybe it was because of the clothes she’d grown up wearing? Idiots. Men were idiots who liked to pursue women whom they thought would easily worship them. 

But one did see Tae-Eul as a woman. One whose feelings apparently persisted despite the change in timelines. 

But Gon had learned not to think of him. 

So instead, he joked. “Whereas I’m pretty impressive, aren’t I?”

He was looking at her-- hadn’t stopped since this conversation began-- so he saw her sardonic expression, raising one eyebrow. “I could flip you to the ground so easily.”

He just laughed. “Not right now, you can’t. Although I wish you’d do it to Gong Shin. And let me be there to see it.” 

This time she did turn to look at him and glared at him without any real malice. The glare turned into another fond smile and she pressed their hands against her middle. It was still almost flat, but they both knew the little bean growing there. Growing healthily. 

They continued watching the movie just as the credits started to roll. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Inspired by @di-elle’s post on whether or not Gon had dated before. This is my head canon of it. 

I had several inner debates over how to present this story-- but in the end I decided it had to be a talk between these two, not a story set in the Academy where I have to invent side characters we won’t really care about. Heh. That would have just made me lazy to write it. 

But this… this was finished so fast. Tae-Eul and Gon wanted to have this talk! 

Have I told you I love this fandom? Thanks, Dani!

(Oh, right, if anyone recognizes the movie, it’s a rerun in that luxury theater. These two didn’t travel back in time). 

[swordoforion]

Orion Digest №42 - The Crossroads of Human History: Why We Should Persist

The events of the past few centuries have brought the threat of extinction closer than it has arguably ever been. War, pollution, disease - as much as the human race has come together with modern innovations, we have also opened the door to the end of human history, and our choices now will determine the future of billions, if not potential trillions. Will we die in a hate-fueled inferno, or stride atop the surfaces of distant planets? Will we drag all of life on Earth down with us, or will we learn to find harmony with it? While there have been many tumultuous times in the history of our species, the idea of it coming to an end makes this time especially vital.

And yet, there are many who argue that perhaps humanity does not deserve to live on, or that it simply cannot. There are some who object to our past and current actions, and believe that human nature prevents us from living peacefully and logically. They think that even if we did survive, we'd be at each other's throats, and it would only spell suffering for many at the hands of few. Others raise the moral flag in regards to our effects upon other species and nature, citing our haphazard destruction as grounds for us to die so that other species may live. Some believe that existence itself simply isn't worth the costs it requires upon the individual.

It is hard to deny that human history has been filled with suffering, and what is worse, unequal and unjust suffering. There have been many souls who, by their mere appearance, have been condemned to live life treated differently than others, spending their days in fear, and working their whole lives just to find some semblance of comfort. Progress has been made on some social fronts, but that fight is far from over, and with a great many problems of our own design on the rise, it is safe to say that the toughest times of humanity may not yet be behind us. The world is getting hotter, the disasters are becoming rougher, the class divide and associated required labor from the working class is increasing, and we still haven't yet cracked the goal of equality.

The situation, admittedly, can seem rather hopeless. And, with the storm on the horizon, we might have the first opportunity in history to stop the race entirely - before things get worse, we have the option to end the human race through whatever means are available, and be done with all of it. We, as the human race, stand at the crossroads of human history, and are granted two choices - accept our destruction, guaranteeing an end to suffering, or persist on, going into the unknown and chancing that our circumstances will worsen. It is a question that has been asked many, many times.

So, what reason do we have to persist, in the face of all that is horrid and terrifying in the world?

As painful as life can be, most people choose to keep living it. Buried beneath the poignant pains and toils, there are brighter things in the world. Large joys that give us purpose, small joys that brighten our day. There is even meaning in pain - by knowing what it feels like to lose or hurt, we appreciate much more how it feels to win or remain safe. The grand knowledge of all that there is and could be in the world - the sights around us, the stories we tell, the friends we love, the memories we cherish - when simply put to the background of our perception, they may not seem worth as much, but to weigh those below the void of non-existence, they are rather valuable.

What is more, we assume that we must go on without improvement, that this crisis we face is all that humans can be or amount to. What is past cannot be changed, but the knowledge of our past gives us the ability to learn from it, and we have proven time and time again that the human mind can conquer anything in its path given time and reason. If we have the ability to subjugate ourselves, to put ourselves in so grave of danger that it could spell not only the end of Earth's dominant species, but potentially most of life on Earth, surely we also have the ability to undo what we have wrought. It is merely a matter of how we order ourselves and where we shift our weight. Given the knowledge and push, the suffering we believe is inevitable could be lifted, Earth made a utopia.

It is a risk to rely on the hope that humanity will settle its issues, but the chance becomes more assured the more we believe in it, the more we support it. If we assume it to be impossible, something unachievable, then it will become so. All those who argue that human nature is to be violent, angry, and spiteful see only a sample of humans forced to resort to their animalistic natures for survival. When one is forced to fight tooth and nail for food and shelter - as one must do in the job market so they may earn money for necessities - they will of course put their survival as a priority. Raised in a world where the value of wealth and luxury is placed on so high a pedestal, it makes sense that people would rush to assure their security, even at the cost of others, for how many would risk their own downfall for a stranger when raised to do the opposite?

However, the unique quality of humans is that with our intelligence and empathy, we can overcome these instincts and fears, rising higher into levels of psychological need and actualization, where we see the strings that hold the puppets. We can come to understand that the system of economy, if managed adequately, could easily be made to support all who live under it, and that with understanding, we could prosper together. We may have within us animal instincts, but if we can understand them, we can control them. Human society already does, in its own way, harness the power of human behavior, manipulating each and every citizen to act in a way that perpetuates its qualities, positive and negative.

The toils and struggles of human existence, that drive many to wish that they had never been born, are human in origin. We are aware of this fact, and while a difficult task, we could one day hope to create a future in which new generations are born, still laboring and having their own individual struggles, but never unjustly, and never without the accompanying joy and hope. It is one thing to push a stone up a hill, and another entirely to do it in chains. It is hard to envision a better world when you have spent your entire life in one; for all you know, it is entirely imaginary, and impossible to achieve. You have spent all your time meeting maybe a handful of people (if any who don't ultimately buy into the flaws of the system in some way; how could there conceivably exist an entire society who behaves as such? From an insider's point of view, flawed is all humanity might ever be.

But that is just it - humanity is both gifted with the ability to see past our mundane perceptions and illusions, as well as to allow our minds to settle into them. It lets us have the foresight to know that the illusion can be shattered, and that we can overcome what we believe to be absolute, while also not being so overcome by such presence of mind that we view life in terms of numbers and psychology, savoring the joy and feeling true the fear. Our emotions and logic affect one another, with the realization of change accompanied by hope, and the frustrating monotony of the world bringing about hopelessness and fear. The same world can cause one mind to imagine life as a purposeless bout of pain, while bringing another to see the beauty and majesty that does exist, and can exist in even greater measure.

The difference in the two is circumstance - what side of the world are you raised in, and what do you see? We know, through logic, that our problems are based on economics, government, and the socialization bred via layered ignorance. A child can be raised in a healthy manner, given the chance to learn about the world around them and respectfully form their own identity, and have the belief that life is indeed worth living, with happiness worth the pursuit of it. However, that same child could have instead been thrown through different traumatic events, and trapped by the demands and expectations of the world around them while they still struggle to process it all. The second child will know the world as cruel, and may lack trust - for what would trust bring them but possibly greater pain? Pain they could not hope to bear?

Which side is right about the world, and not merely the constructed world of humans, but the metaphysical world that is existence itself, in all its infinite potential? If we made such relatively small adjustments as changing how we view mental health and allowing for more personalized models of labor, the entire universe for one person could change, the grand picture of existence reshaped by something as small as policy and structure. While able to understand the concept of things beyond our own point of view, the truth is that these bleak ideas of nihilism come from a perspective that only views the world through a small lens, that sees the horrors and mistakes we have made, but not the capacity to change, if we knew we were able. It is a self-perpetuating cycle - we created a hopeless world which convinces us it is hopeless, and so we continue to create a hopeless world which convinces future generations, and so on, but if we were to break the cycle and take advantage of our ability to change the world, no longer would people be convinced and raised to act so terribly.

At this crossroads of human history, the question is asked - if we brought ourselves to the brink, should we just fall in, rather than potentially making it worse? This question is asked by those who have only ever known the cruel world, watching others taught that it is acceptable to treat others with such disgusting indifference. However, to broaden the lens and see that it was ignorance that caused the first misstep, bringing us through a domino chain to where we are today, tells us that if we are capable of destroying the world, we are certainly capable of changing it. Which option we take is ultimately a matter of which we believe in. If we believe that humans can be good and overcome our animal natures, I have full faith that it will happen. If we believe that humans are incapable of doing so, then we may very well perish.

Between the two options, I have given much thought. For the sake of those that might come into this world just to suffer, I hesitate to say it is worth it for those who might come afterwards in an improved world - sacrificing lives not just to death but torture, all for the happiness of those who have not yet been born. However, this assumes suffering will become an eventuality, and if we were to actively seek humanity's demise, so would suffering result in the inter-rim. To give up hope entirely ensures things will not get better; to persist means that very well could. Instead of wasting time arguing about how bad things could get if we fail, it would do much better to get up and fight to ensure that we don't. Even if we are unsuccessful, is it not better to die in hope than in misery?

And so, I believe that when faced with the choice of dying here at the crossroads or continuing onward into the unknown depths of the future, the latter choice is entirely worthwhile, despite the sentiments of others. We cannot wipe off the stains of our history and ignorance, but we can ensure that the deaths of all those who perished under the sword of injustice do not go unavenged. New children could be born one day, the groundwork for a better and more informed start beneath their feet, and live the lives their ancestors dreamed of, carrying on that hope. And those that march on in the future will appreciate our decision to fight on another day more than we can ever know.

- DKTC FL

[iturbide]

Character Breakdown! - Marianne 💖 and Dorothea

MY GIRLS

How do I feel about this character?

I love her.  I love this gentle girl who has gone through so much pain and hardship, who’s lost her parents to what she believes is a curse that she shares, who is afraid of herself as much as she fears the hatred of those around her.  I can’t tell you how many times I started talking to my screen while going through her supports, because you’re wrong Marianne you do deserve happiness you are good at things I believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself.  She’s very relatable, honestly, with her shyness coupled with self-deprecation as a defense mechanism to keep people away, not to mention the deep depression; again, mental health issues are generally a taboo thing in media, so I was more than a little shocked when I got her A support and realized just what she’d been praying so fervently to the Goddess for.  But I also love that about her: she held strong, and she made it through to a better place, which is such a wonderfully hopeful story for anyone with similar struggles, showing that things can get better if you just hold on.  

Who do I ship this character with romantically?

I have an answer this time and technically I spoiled it in an earlier character breakdown.  Because it’s Dimitri.  I love these two broken people and the idea of them managing to support each other, using one another as an anchor to keep from falling further and slowly pulling themselves back out of the lonely places they’ve fallen, both with the other’s help and with the other in mind.  I think they would make a wonderful pair since they understand the other’s struggles so deeply, and I’m aiming for their paired endcard in my AM run in progress.

Also, not gonna lie, I do low-key ship her with Hilda because cotton candy girlfriends.  I just think they’re sweet and I love how Marianne laughs in their A support, how bright and open and cheerful it sounds.  It just does my heart good.

Who is my brOTP for this character?

Marianne deserves to have so many friends.  Aside from Claude (who is friends with just about everyone, this is non-negotiable with me), I really love her supports with Ignatz, and how he’s so gentle in coaxing her out of her shell and reassuring her that he enjoys sharing time with her.  They’re sweet, and I love their friendship dearly.  Also, surprisingly, Lorenz is another one who comes to mind; their A support was one of those that hit me right in the heart, and the fact that he’s so conscious of her feelings and urges her not to force herself to talk about things that upset her makes me think they would be very close friends, with Lorenz looking out for her and even running casual interference for her when she gets overwhelmed before inviting her to tea so she can calm down.

What’s my Unpopular Opinion™ about this character?

Okay so I know that Fandom loves the idea that Marianne is Berkut and Rinea’s kid.  And my unpopular opinion is that that is a terrible, terrible thing to do to her.  

It’s not that I don’t find the idea appealing, because in all honesty, I do.  The notion that Berkut and Rinea, or some reinarnations of them, had another chance in Fodlan and fell in love and had a daughter is delightful, and I would love to see it.  But let’s not forget that canonically, Marianne’s parents disappeared and are presumed dead, deeply traumatizing her and leaving her terrified of her own Brand and the monster she might become.  After what happened with Berkut and Rinea in Valentia, having them meet a fate that scars their daughter so utterly in another land and another life is utterly devastating, so I would much, much rather have her parents be anyone else than see these lives destroyed again and in the process destroy their child’s peace of mind.

What’s one thing I wish would have happened with this character in canon?

Okay so this is maybe a weird one but I wish she could appear in every route even if you don’t recruit her.  Because I obsessively collect every student I can recruit in my own runs, I’ve had to do a fairly substantial amount of digging for fic writing purposes, but everywhere I look for non-VW runs...you don’t see Marianne.  She doesn’t appear at Gronder in AM, nor does she appear at Myrddin or Derdriu in CF.  And while it’s entirely possible that her absence has a benign cause...well, if you’ve read her Supports, there’s a far more likely, far more dire explanation -- and that thought breaks my heart like little else.  So I wish she could have appeared somewhere over the course of non-VW routes, just so that we can see she made it through her depression and found something to cling to.  Even if it does open up the possibility that she might fall on the battlefield, the idea that she might have fallen outside it where no one could see or know hurts somehow worse.

and of course the diva herself

How do I feel about this character?

Glorious.  Stunning.  Inspired.  Dorothea is a phenomenal character, someone who I endlessly enjoy seeing and talking to through the game.  She’s cultivated this perfect image of herself for the monastery to see, but as you get to know her the truth is so heartfelt: while she comes across as just a girl looking to find a husband during her time at Garreg Mach, she came from nothing, enduring abuse during her life on the streets of Enbarr before she was found by chance and brought into the Mittelfrank Opera Company; she’s terrified of going back to that when her looks and her voice no longer pass muster, and she’s looking out for her future with a keen and critical eye, even though she has no real expectations of finding love through it.  And this can all come out before the timeskip, no less: afterward it’s...honestly a little heartbreaking, to see how deeply the war has affected her.  

While Marianne has found something to fight for and managed to get her depression in check, Dorothea has gone in the opposite direction, seeming to succumb to depression instead.  The war has had a dire effect on her mentality, such that she feels it’s stripped her of all but the ability to survive (”only thorns left on this rose,”) and so many of her lines and comments just feel bleak and lost.  There aren’t that many characters in 3H who really embody the impact that war can have on people, because so many of the characters are stepping up specifically to fight for what they believe in and holding strong to their resolve for the sake of their loved ones and their homes.  Dorothea is the standout example of someone who’s fighting just to make this all stop, because she can’t take it anymore.  The war affects her so deeply, in ways that it doesn’t seem to hit other students, and I end up feeling like she more than anyone is at risk in the War Phase because of it. 

Her character is just very raw and very powerful in surprising ways and I love her.

Who do I ship this character with romantically?

hhhhhh

it’s Lorenz okay

It’s always been Lorenz and you know what I’m already under the cut so just skip to the next header if you don’t want to read my long rambling explanation of where the fuck this comes from.

So in my first playthrough (Golden Deer forever), I spent...roughly 170 hours getting to the end.  This is almost entirely because I played on Normal mode and did an endless number of auxiliary battles grinding supports between all the characters -- and since I did, in fact, go the extra mile of recruiting every single student and professor I could in my first playthrough, I had a lot of characters to work with.  (I actually still missed out on some because I didn’t unlock their C’s soon enough -- Marianne with Ashe and Ingrid with Annette didn’t get unlocked until my next run since I knew what to look out for.)  This is a big part of how I ended up liking Lorenz in the first place: I worked through all his supports this way, and saw the full measure of him rather than just writing him off after how rough his C supports were mostly across the board.

Out of all his different supports, though, there were three in particular that stood out to me: Leonie, Mercedes, and Dorothea.  With Leonie, he learned to relax his strict notions of separation between nobles and commoners and accept the idea of friendship with her as equals.  From Mercedes, he got rightly scolded about treating commoners as beneath his notice and unworthy of consideration where marriage was concerned, and rightly corrected when he floated the idea of marrying her since it continues to fall in line with valuing nobility and Crests over personal character.  And in Dorothea, he absolutely met his match: not only is she someone who has near-identical motives in her quest for a spouse (not necessarily looking for romance so much as the perks that come with an advantageous marriage), but she’s someone capable of playing him directly, playing his emotions to reveal the folly of his mindset.  The way he laughs in their A support...I don’t think he laughs like that anywhere else.  It’s open and it’s earnest and it’s joyous, even as he concedes that she has utterly bested him.

And that, really, is what sold me on them.  Having grown so much over the course of those years, having met so many people who affected him and broadened his view of the world, when Dorothea bested him at his own game, I think he really did fall for her in truth, rather than just admiring her beauty and her craft.  In the end, both of them get everything they wanted and more: Dorothea gets the reassurance that she’ll be taken care of for the rest of her life, Lorenz can boast if he wants about marrying the star diva of the Mittalfrank Opera...but more than that, they’re equally matched as partners, both bringing different strengths to the table to improve conditions in the Alliance for everyone (and especially the commoners), and able to engage in productive back and forth with one another, challenging the other thoughtfully and coming to agreements and compromises on good terms.  I love how well-matched they are and how well their personalities play off each other and I think that they could have an incredibly powerful, productive partnership.

...also I totally ship her with Petra too because their supports are fantastic and also Petra is wonderful and deserves the best.

Who is my brOTP for this character?

Ferdinand von Aegir.  I love their supports so much and how he goes out of his way to try to understand her perspective, and changes her understanding of him as a person in the process.  She understandably has things to work through, given their history and her own misconceptions about him back then, but I love the idea of them banding together as dear friends who do their best to support each other as best they can.  Also, Dorothea and Bernie is a delight, and I love the idea of Dorothea keeping in touch and helping to draw Bernie out of her shell bit by tiny bit.

What’s my Unpopular Opinion™ about this character?

Are.  Are there popular opinions about Dorothea?  I actually don’t see that many character impressions about her: most of what I see is fanart, and it mostly seems to be because she’s pretty.  I guess if I had any unpopular opinion, just based on the way I usually see her on my dash, it’s that she’s a whole heck of a lot more than just a pretty face: she’s cutthroat when she needs to be, incredibly capable as a fighter as much as a singer, and would probably make an excellent spy if the situation called for it.  I don’t think it’s fair that she’s treated mostly as eye candy when the truth is that her character is so much deeper than shallow beauty, both before and after the timeskip.

What’s one thing I wish would have happened with this character in canon?

This is silly but I wish we could have heard her sing more.  The only real song we hear from her if I’m remembering right is in her supports with Edelgard, where she improvises a few lines about the Empress-to-be.  And her voice is glorious!  I would have loved to hear her sing more, rather than getting so much from Manuela (which was...pretty painful, honestly, I do not care for her singing voice at all).  Especially considering how important singing is to her, not just as a former opera diva but just as a part of her life in general, it feels like a shame that we couldn’t hear her sing more throughout the game, either in her Supports or even in the choir sections at the monastery.

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