#and while it's not perfect it's been fun
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Experiment more. Just do stuff. Don't worry about making it perfect, just have fun.
#lugi rambles#seriously though#i've been de-rusting after having not really done any ârealâ art for the past year or so#and while it's not perfect it's been fun#just trying stuff#seeing what sticks#doesn't always look good but hey at least I had fun
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THE KING OF PIRATES
Interested in the full resolution and no glaze? Wanna tip me? Check me Patreonn
Added this as a print to buy if anyone would like to grab one as well
#one piece#monkey d luffy#one piece fanart#made this one for luffy's birthday but i went a bit crazy a bit silly with it#been in an art slump for a while so i loved being able to put some crazy work without proper render and whatever into it#just having FUN for once!! with loof the perfect lil man to have fun with!!
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Would you guys be super duper disappointed with me if I left Science AU Jetfire's relationship status at the end of the story ambiguous/up for interpretation ? I just remembered something really important in my heart while answering an ask </3
#I remembered the reason I made Science AU in the first place and suddenly it hit me#Jetfire is just perfect as he is#I REMEMBERED THAT I DID NOT WANT JETFIRE'S TIES TO ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS TO DEFINE HIS CHARACTER IN MY AU#while yes he does make up with Starscream I have been on the fence for a while if I wanted them to jump back into a romantic relationship#And I think I'm happiest with leaving it open ended#IM SORRY IM SUCH A ROMANCE LETDOWNER BUT I WANTED THE MAIN TAKEAWAY FROM MY AU TO BE FUN STORIES AND INTERACTIONS#Also this does NOT mean Thunderfire is real in my AU either/left just as open ended and ambiguous#I've already decided I'm not going that route with Science AU but it is fun to think about#I want jetfire.. to shine on his own without any romantic ties.#I GOT SO CAUGHT UP IN EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I LOST MY WAY FOR A MINUTE WITH THE SCIENCE AU BUT IM LOCKING BACK IN I FOUND WHERE I WANT TO BE#I'm still playing with my toys though I promise#yap n cheese
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when the law starts catching up to you
#genshin impact#neuvillette#genshin#aether#me and purrl spent like an hour trying to get the perfect shot and even still it could have been a bit better but who has the time skdfjhs#I accidentally pulled the water man while trying to get the water boy so we decided to have fun#purrlstar
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compilation of a chunk of my lukejamie stuff i have horded in my folders and sketchbooks....đ§ââď¸
#froyoscribbles#street fighter#lukejamie#luke sullivan#jamie siu#i saw the 2023 date written on some of these and just closed my eyes like . ok. ive been stuck in these trenches for a while#i was too embarrassed to share any of this mostly bc i didnt think any of it looked good enough to share but . yeah đ#something something learning to enjoy my art for what it is and having fun over making it look perfect bc this isnt my job đđđ
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Thankfully for Flayn, Chef Deddles is an astoundingly patient teacher
#he's not mad he's just a little disappointed#no fishes were harmed in the making of this soup (ashe got beaned with the spoon across the kitchen in the explosion tho đ RIP king)#i spent so long giggling at this one flayn is 4'11 while our big beautiful boy is 6'8 and checking the comparison had me in stitches#please look them up on that comparingheights website its so funny#this was fun!!! i was trying to do an exercise in letting things be sketchy since all my other WIPs ive been obsessing over tiny lines#i started sketching because i wanted to practice beefier guys and then it turned into dedue and here we are#its not perfect and for once i feel pretty okay with that#dedue molinaro#flayn fire emblem#fe3h#fe16#pidgeonscribbles#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#their supports are super cute and i wanted to remind folks that Chef Deddles is a nickname he tolerates
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ohoho, here's a villain i know some of you will go crazy for!! have y'all seen Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur's take on Martin Li, AKA Mr. Negative? he looks sick!!! đ
#desperately need to watch this show bc all the animation and character design i've seen from it is stunning#something about the perfect photo-negative appearance of this guy is very satisfying#for those looking for the ep he's in - it's 'Party Girl' (ep 23 of season 2 - just released a little while ago) đ#he's in it for like five seconds (he's a Spider-Man villain) but the fight sequence with Lunella is so FUN#just found out he's voiced by Bowen Yang who has been in EVERYTHING lately#but many of you may recognise him as Galinda's pal Pfannee in Wicked (the one with the fun glasses!!)#also need to watch for The Beyonder...đłâ¨#mr. negative#mr negative#mister negative#martin li#moon girl and devil dinosaur#bowen yang#marvel#starleskatalks
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random thought bc i was making alphyne sims LOL, do you think undyne would ever want to have children? how do you think sheâd be as a parent?
While I personally don't quite have a "definite yes" or "definite no" answer for this I personally think that, yeah, possibly! I think it's a question with a lot of layers to it, "is it something the character would want?" "Is it something the character should do?" "How much thought would the character put into it all beforehand?" "How long would the character wait before making that choice?" And first of all I think I should talk about fandom culture's view on kids in general. Why? Because I'm obsessed with validating my opinions like this
It's been said many times by many people now how there are a lot of times where fans end up writing completely out of character for the purpose of placing characters into positions of stereotypical familial structures- ESPECIALLY forcing women into the roles of motherhood where it doesnt fit or make sense for them to the point where I don't think I can really add anything substantial or important to the topic. The pros have very much said what needs to be said.
HOWEVER. I ALSO LIKE TO HAVE FUN WITH FUCKING CHARACTERS. I LIKE TO EXPLORE DIFFERENT TOPICS AND SITUATIONS WITH THEM. I WANT PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO SHAMELESSLY ENJOY THEIR RIGHT TO INTERPRET CHARACTERS WHERE THEY THINK NESCECARY. WHERE THEY THINK FUCKING FUN!!!
So with that said, while demeaning female characters to singular sad and one dimensionsional traits of "Mother" is very clearly to me Not A Good Thing, people should stop acting like it's a fucking sin to imagine the possibility of a character having a child while still retaining all their accurate attributes, because it is a very possible thing that can be and IS done!!!!!
What are my thoughts on Undyne with all this?

Hehhaahehehaa....... strap in.
Where do I BEGIN. How about the inspirations behind the character of undyne herself.

Ok so see this wonderful lass here. That's a sculpture by Chauncey Ives of the mythical water spirit, Undine. Thinking about it, you all probably know this anyway because I do fairly often reblog Undine themed stuff too. Because I'm just like this. But how about the interesting stuff?
The original myth, created by Paracelsus, an alchemist and philosopher born in the 1400s, I believe comes from his work "A Book on Nymphs, Sylphs, Pygmies, and Salamanders, And Kindered Spirits". I think that's what it was called. I'm too tired to talk fully about it specifically and we need to get to the point so have a video of some guy reading it here
youtube
Yay :]
It's pretty much what it says. Paracelsus essentially believed that elemental beings (whom he had adapted and reimagined from ancient or traditional at the time sources) were simply part of the strangeness of God's natural creation and should be studied, as part of appreciation of the Bible etc. And we know ALL ABOUTTTTT utdr and its biblical links/imagery. But back to undine :]
Paracelsus named his takes on the classic concept of elementals: gnomes for earth (YES HE INVENTED THE WORD GNOME!!!!!), sylphs for air (yeah he also invented the word sylph), salamanders for fire (he didn't invent that :[), and of COURSE! UNDINES FOR WATER! He believed undines to be fairly similar to humans, a significant difference being the lack of a soul. Which surely means nothing when talking about Souls Are Important the Video Game. And anyways according to him they were apparently fairly capable of getting a soul through love. Wikipedia also says that Paracelsus says that a child from this love will too have a soul which is nice
Blablabla Wikipedia says undines are like fucking desperate to get a husband or whatever but dudeeeee she can do whatever she fucking wantssssss. I think she can and should be enjoying her life with alphys rather than it being a thing just for a living soul or whatever. They're just happy, no mythology attached
Onto the most iconic interpretation of the myth, 1811s Undine by Friedrich De La Motte Fouque. When you think of the tale of Undine it's almost always that it's this specific story you pull from. Apart from another one I'll briefly touch on later (please hope it's brief). In it, Undine is a woman adopted by a fisherman, who was taken in by the fisherman after his own child died. Hmmmmm wow hmm sort of like how asgore took in undyne after his children died HM BACK ON TOPIC. Personality-wise, Undine is described by Wikipedia (because I don't have the book) as "erratic", and "capricious", which Google dictionary describes as "given to sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behaviour", which again sounds quite similar to the Undyne we all know and love.
It mentions that when married to Huldbrand (the main guy in the book he's not important tho) she is "kind and gentle" and yeah imo the writing with this IS kinda shit HOWEVER I think if were simply using this as inspiration for undyne I can definitely imagine her *eventually* becoming a calmer and more thoughtful person with A: the presence of someone like alphys to mutually love and understand her for her and B: the absence of having to worry about a war to fight and always sort of being on edge and just being. Like that. And again this would all be a *progressive experience*, rather than in the book where undine literally switches up over night. I do like to consider character and stuff
There's this line from the Wikipedia summary which jumpscared me

I 0% believe this has any significance to deltarune whatsoever however it was so funny out of context I had to add it
Another completely unrelated thing here but there's a fucking guy called "Kuhleborn" and I just. Can homestuck leave me alone. FOR FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry back to cherry picking the story to fit undyne.
Ok so truthfully I don't find anything else from that specific story that I find particularly helpful to undyne, the rest of it's kinda just useless to my point. Re-establishing the fact here that I skipped over a most of the actual significant parts of the story because I specificly want to talk about how I see it parallel to undyne. But that's it really. I just especially wanted to mention this adaptation of the story as it is pretty much the most iconic interpretation of the myth.
That is, interpretations that specifically refer to its source by name. Because by far the most well known media to draw influence from the myth of undine is the iconic Hans Christian Andersen fairytale, "The Little Mermaid". I don't have much to say on how the little mermaid does take much inspiration from undine, other than the way andersen himself interpreted the story. Simply, the fact that Hans Christian Andersen, a man who based this story off of his own feelings at the inability for another man to reciprocate feelings of romance for him, and resonated with the story of undine so much that it was a source of inspiration for the little mermaid itself is so crazy to me. Like. Here is a queer man who read the tale of Undine and understood it so much he wrote his own story inspired by it and made it tie in with his own experiences of homosexuality! Like that's so crazy to me! Because it just makes the undertale character of undyne being sapphic so much better to me! It took the sad story of gay tragedy and took it and made it a story of gay joy!!!!!!! We are all so happys forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok ummmm. I got carried away because we are steering very far away from what this post was originally about. Umm. Point is. Original story was of queer sadness but undertale is now of queer joy + the story of queer joy being based on story where being with this person who you really love and being truly and properly bonded in an undeniable and magical way is enough to give you a soul that will live forever. I think that's somewhere near the point I'm trying to make but at the same time it's not quite the point I was trying to make. And this is absolutely just one interpretation of one relationship and this is by no means in any way supposed to be the end all be all of what ANY relationship should be. I really don't think this is what the definition of love is. However for these characters I feel it can be a huge aspect of it for them
NOW FINALLY MOVING ON TO THE ACTUAL CHARACTER FROM UNDERTALE THANK FUCKING GOODNESS!!!!!
Oh undyne. With some of the implications in game that she lost her family, I very much imagine her being cautious with this sort of situation. Would she be able to handle is for example? Would she know what to do. Given its something she might not even have real first hand experience of, is it something she would even want to risk forcing upon another person? I think she struggles so much with responsibility as it is. She wants nothing more than to protect people and cheesus if she had a kid of her own you know she would be doing every single thing in her power to make sure that kid never has to face what she did. Undyne says at one point in game (if you kill her in neutral i believe) she never told alphys the way she felt because if/when she died in battle, she wouldn't want alphys to deal with that. And again, she really would not want to have a kid if she worries that one day that kid would have to worry about someone they truly care about not being with them anymore
So *would* she want them? I don't really think it would be an overwhelming innate desire or anything like that, but really not against it. Sged need a lot of time beforehand first. Some time to live her life to the fullest, time to make sure it's something she can handle without guilt, time to make sure it's something that does bring her joy. And then yeah, 6 or 7 years minimum I can see it happening. And I think it would be nice
"Now let's talk about susie, can we talk about susie? Please stun (and other readers) I've been dying to talk with you about susie all post, okay?" /ref
I don't really have anything to add I just think alphyne should adopt susie. In every timeline. Undertale deltarune I just think ok. Because she doesn't have a good home life to the point where she's like just Not Safe and hm young couple with no children in her area? Undyne would want to help her soooo bad because she understands just what it feels like to be young and alone not really cared for and she would NEED to fix it. That's defo how it is for undertale at LEAST. Idk entirely with dr if it'd be exactly like that cause we don't know what undynes got going down in dr yet.. but even so that's nothing to stop them
Anways yeah I think you mightve been waiting just a wee bit long for the answer to this ask I uhh.....m.....mmmm. yeah man I... yeah. I really do genuinely hope you enjoyed his tho cause uts currently quarter to 2 in the morning and I'm going on a train & to the aquarium tmrw so my ass CANNOT be waking up at 11 am again. Shits fucked. But when I tell you when I'm locked in on an undyne topic I AM LOCKED IN. IT TOOK A WHILE BUT I FINALLY DID IT. MORE THAN HALF OF THIS WAS WRITTEN WITH NO BREAKS OF CHECKS BUT THATS THE BEAUTY!!!!!! FLY MY SCARAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#been thinking about this driving myself crazy over my answer to this ask for so long#the thing is while I put a lot of thought into it what if everyone else disagrees and ive commited a ''character misinterpretation''â˘ď¸?#i like the idea of itâ but I do also want to prove myself as undyne understander no1 and I do not think i would be able to handle myself if#-i lost that#and then theres questions like ''would this be something people want to see?'' ''is there a specific way it should be done?''#''would this be a choice thatd be good FOR the characters to make''#and again. i have put SO much thinking into this. but its in a way where ive thought about it so much that maybe no one would even understa#have i completely thrown away the original character aside in favour of something i think is ''right''?#ive heard it a few times that the concept of fan children arent good because uts just trying to put characters into a#''stereotypical perfect little societally correct family''which ABSOLUTELY makes sense to me#which is why i overthink so much about how i portray it all. so i can get it right#but what if even then im still wrong. or what if im just here thinking way too hard about having fun on the Internet. i wrote a lot here sr#asks#chat you dont want to know how long ive had this ask for........listen i have a lot of thoughts and it takes me a really long time2 share o#the more i like something the more care goes into it. care = time. i think ive had this ask for a year.#can you tell i went off the rails here#unaltered#shot dead#do i even dare main tag#we'll see how the post goes over and when ive given it some thought I'll either tag it or i wont ok goodnight ily all <333333333#!!#undertale#bogos i binted#utdr#undyne#undyne undertale#undyne deltarune#undyne the undying#deltarune#undine
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I love bad art so much. I love when people just scribble and do random brush strokes and I love seeing artists just not care if the end result looks pleasing or good. I love when people do art just because it's fun.
#ive been seeing some ppl go âum i could do thatâ#and âmy 5 year old child could do it betterâ#like! do you guys not understand art?#ive seen some tiktoks where people make bad art on puprose because its fun!#and people in the comments just arent understanding#âi dont understand artâ#thats fine! but dont go around ruining the fun people are having while making their art#literally just saw a dude haphazardly draw a cat on a piece of cardboard#its clear hes not trying to make it perfect and its clear he doesnt care if it doesnt look like a cat#hes just doing it for fun#and idk#i really liked the drawing
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Ok but like for me the tone and pace of that NC scene was kinda everything. This is the first time they're being intimate with there being no lies or guilt between them. Phu now knows that there has never been another version of him that his man has ever wanted, our Phu has always been IT for Cir from the start. And Cir has owned up to everything and Phu is still choosing him, he's being fully and truly himself. The one that has loved everything about Phu from the moment he heard his voice. There's nothing holding either of them back. This moment has been coming for YEARS. And I feel like they handled showing that very well. The intensity of if. The rough, desperate feel to the way the touch each other. Everything about Cir's well, entire existence basically - expressions, actions, movements, sounds ... visuals. The MOANING. It all just builds into the relief they're feeling to know that their first choices are each other. I don't know about y'all but that shit hit me like a mack truck ok?
#boy next world#cirphu#listen Linda it might not have been perfect but I had fun#and ultimately fun is what I'm looking for in my entertainment#also not Phu not just forgiving the stalking but smiling up into Cir's face while they play Things Only My Stalker Would Know#let's not pretend like either of them are fully hinged#for real tho Phu might be a ray of sunshine but he's also got a lot of heartache in there too#I think for someone that's experienced so much loss and abandonment in this (fantasy) situation I see why a character like Phu#would find someone's unwavering obsession with and dedication to them charming instead of creepy and weird#this is fiction and I'm an adult#so I don't mind saying I enjoyed myself a lot with this one#imperfections and all I had a blast
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broke the mold (change will come)
chapter 3: love the mayhem more than the love
so. what a week it's been since the last chapter, huh. to "make up" for being MIA for a month, have a chapter that doubles the entire fic length lmao. I'm sorry (no I'm not.)
Content warnings for this chapter include religious doubt, vague description of being in a medical setting, disassociation, mild self harm (chewing and digging nails into skin), what happens when seven ghouls are crammed into tight spaces without ever addressing any of their own issues. More familiar faces. The idea of perfect victims. Learning new things, new names. Trauma responses. The first time I've ever written Copia as a main character. Self-destructive behavior and pushing others into doing it for you. 16.2k.
I make no promises about the next chapter except that it's probably not going to be until mid April. I have a project with a real physical deadline fast approaching, and I need to get that done first. I'll work on this when I can <3
Much thanks again to @mintea-in-space for all of the Cardinal Consulting <3
divider by @wrathofrats <3
There's a beeping noise. Shrill. Grating. Foreign. Aurum groans. His head hurts. Mouth feels like it's stuffed with cotton, and there's some bitter taste when he licks over his teeth. They don't fit quite right in his mouth, teeth nor tongue.
He grumbles again, trying to raise a hand to swat in the noise's general direction, wants to get Fog to stop mimicking-
Fog.
Everything comes back in waves, and he realizes that even though he's thought heâs been cold before, that was nothing. Heâs cold for the very first time in his life. The next thing he realizes is that he has absolutely no fucking idea where he is. This is not the room he entered when he exited the portal, that much is clear even before he finds the strength to open his eyes.
It's a tremendous effort to peel his eyes open. The lights are bright white, and he hisses as his pupils try sluggishly to adjust. Heâs alone, strange machines at his bedside connected to him through wires and tubes. His arms are wrapped in cloth so white it makes his head throb.
Everything smells strange, sharp and sterile, and Aurum still has no clue where he is. Thereâs a window, but the curtains are drawn thick and heavy. The door, with a grucifix hung above the frame, is solid and shut.
Aurum takes a deep breath. His entire body feels like heâs fallen off of a tall ledge. It hurts.
He tries to sit up, groaning loudly at the ache that ripples through him. The thin bed under him shifts, railings at the side creaking, and thereâs a twinge of resistance where the machines connect to his arms.
Aurum growls softly at them, coughing as his throat stings. He reaches to pull the tubes and wires free, something small and angry in the back of his mind telling him to get the fuck out of here.
But the moment he touches the first needle in the back of his hand, someone clears their throat loudly. Aurum jolts back, ignoring the way his body protests the sudden movement.
The doorâs open, now. Thereâs no other way out of this room. All of a sudden, the sterile scent of the room is overpowered by rich, dark ozone. Aurumâs ears pin back against his head.
A strange ghoul looms in the doorway, and despite the ache pounding at his temples, he bares all of his fangs with a pathetic snarl. This, of course, does nothing to dissuade the stranger. The strong scent of quintessence overpowers the chemical even more as he steps inside with a halfhearted huff of laughter.
Heâs clearly tried to put himself together; a white coat over a rumpled sweater and sloppily tied tie, deep, heavy bags under violet eyes, half hidden behind round tortoiseshell glasses. The scruff of his goatee and his temples are grey, the rest of his dark hair messy and unkempt where it falls over his forehead, around two short ebony horns. Thereâs a clipboard tucked under his arm, and he turns over his shoulder to call to someone down the hall.
âAether, please,â he says, and saints be damned, does he sound as tired as Aurum feels. âI need you to-â
âI already told you I had to excuse myself from that ghoulâs case,â another voice rumbles, the growl clear enough that Aurum feels his ears pin back instinctively. âI cannot be impartial with him. You know what happened. Itâs for his own good.â
The ghoul in front of him takes a deep, shaky breath, his eyes squeezed shut as footsteps retreat. When his eyes open again, heâs got a wide smile plastered on his face. âWell, Olde One be willing, you made it,â he says, pulling up a rolling chair besides the gurney, rifling through the paperwork attached to his clipboard. âFrankly, it was a little touch and go for a while, but barring any major unexpected setbacks-â
To this, the quintessence ghoul glances out the door. He looks back to Aurum like heâd never looked away.
âItâll be like nothing ever happened. You survived going through a filtered portal of a differing element. Youâre the first one to ever make it out alive. Congratulations.â
âIt was the right portal-â he tries to protest, but a fit of hacking coughs wrack him. His throat screams in pain with each one. The other ghoul sets a hand on his shoulder, concern easy to read in his expressions.
âEasy there, bud,â he rumbles, low and easy until he stops coughing. âForgive me, I probably should have introduced myself. My name is Omega, one of the quintessence ghouls of the Head Ministry. What is yours, if you wouldnât mind?â
The Head Ministry.
A pit forms in his stomach, and he doubts that heâs nauseous because of the pain. Aurum scans over Omegaâs face, pulling back as far as he can away. Every instinct in his body is screaming that heâs a threat. He opens his mouth to tell him his name, and realizes, as his stomach lurches, that he doesnât want to say any of the names heâs had before. Aurum coming from someone elseâs tongue makes him feel nauseous. Fire just feels like mockery. So instead:
âDonât have one.â
Omega cocks his head curiously, brows furrowing. âYou⌠Donât have a name?â he says cautiously.
He shakes his head. Omega writes something down on his paperwork. The scratch of the pen nib against paper makes Aurumâs head hurt even more. His glasses slide a little down the bridge of his nose. His gaze is piercing. It feels almost a little patronizing.
âI have to have something to call you,â he says, glancing up over those tortoiseshell rims. âThe humans have taken to referring to you as the multi, but thatâs not a name befitting a ghoul like yourself. If you donât have a name, Iâd be happy to give you one.â
Aurum clenches his fists, looking away from Omega to stare at his hands as his knuckles ache with the strain. The summoning shouldnât have hurt. Heâs fire, for fuckâs sake. The portal was for a fire ghoul. Even as he thinks it now, he doesnât feel the conviction behind it heâs had for centuries. âMultiâs fine. I guess.â
Omega gives him another look, but heâs too exhausted to try and read into it. âMulti it is, then,â he writes something down in his paperwork. Thereâs a lull, and the quintessence ghoul looks up. It feels like heâs being examined like a particularly interesting specimen.
âI apologize, but I do have to ask. Was there anything in particular that made you want to go through that portal, even knowing the risks of summoning? Desperation, curiosity, something else?â
Aurum shrinks back. âIt- I was going through the right portal. It was my element. It wasnât supposed to-â
Omega cuts him off with a hand on his bicep. Aurum flinches so hard it hurts. Even worse than the sting is the look of pity on the older ghoulâs face. âMulti. If it were the right portal, you wouldnât be in the infirmary right now. Youâve been unconscious for quite a while so your body could recover. It is, and I do not say this lightly, an unholy miracle from the Prince Himself that you were able to survive the summoning ritual.â
He blinks, feels himself start to pull back from his body. He digs his claws into the meat of his palm to at least attempt to stay present. âFuck,â Aurum mumbles, eyes still a little bit hazy. His body aches, the pain throbbing in time with his pulse.
The summoning shouldnât have hurt. Heâs known ghouls whose pride and honor comes from their summonings and returns. Extended family, his parentsâ peers. They had all said that being summoned had been as easy as walking through a threshold. He knows this.
A traitorous little voice in the back of his head that sounds like Moraineâs reminds him of the water ghoul whoâd sprinted through the air portal and screamed as it had burned them alive. They hadnât been the right element and it had killed them.
Fog had been ri-
Aurum stops that line of thought right then and there. He never wants to think about her again.
But there isnât really any denying it anymore. If he were actually a fire ghoul, it wouldnât have hurt.
âYou are the first recorded instance of a ghoul being able to do so. Frankly, itâs fascinating, but we are genuinely glad that you pulled through,â Omegaâs voice cuts through the haze. âThe Cardinal will be thrilled to hear that youâre awake and talking.â
Aurumâs brow furrows. âThe Cardinal?â
âCardinal Copia,â he says. Aurum watches him withdraw into himself for a split second. The violet of his eyes dulls before the smile returns full force. âI forgot, how silly of me. No oneâs been able to explain to you as to why youâve been summoned because of all of the-â
To this, Omega gestures to the monitors on the other side of the bed. Still beeping. Still too bright. He settles back into his seat, clipboard tucked under his arm.
âThe Head Ministry has a rather unique missionary program,â he says, something fond curling his lips up. âUsing music for human recruitment. A rock band. The Ghost Project. Before I started infirmary work, I was a member of this program for quite a while, along with-â
He cuts himself off. That dull look is back in his eyes. âWell. Thatâs irrelevant right now. However. The upper clergy were looking for a new fire ghoul to play lead guitar for the Cardinal, who inherited the Ghost Project a few months ago and now is the new frontman, the new Mouthpiece. Then, you came out of the portal.â
Aurum winces. Omega doesnât seem to notice. Just keeps talking. âThe humans are always so finicky about fire summonings. They could only do it the one time. Something bureaucratic that they donât bother explaining to us. Theyâve mad- found a new fire ghoul. Youâll meet him eventually. Once youâre well enough on your feet.â
He nods. Swallows hard. Thereâs a bitter taste in his mouth. Omega must easily read the discomfort in his expression, because he leans over to the table at the head of his bed and offers him a glass with a straw.
âHere, drink,â he says, helping Aurum sit up. Aurum drinks greedily, the water a balm against his scratchy throat.
âThank you,â he pants, blinking slowly when Omega sets the glass back down. His heart still flutters like a cornered animal. He is acutely aware of the machines, still beeping rhythmically. âWhat, uh, what comes next?â
Omega looks up from his clipboard. Aurum watches the big ghoulâs chest rise and fall with breath. âWell, Iâd like to keep you here for a few more days, make sure you donât give us any more scares,â He laughs wearily, taking another deep breath as he goes somewhere else for a moment. âAnd then weâll get you cleared and introduced to your p-â
He stops himself, glances at him. Aurum, once again, feels pinned.
âThen weâll get you introduced properly to the Cardinal and the ghouls you will be working with as part of the Project. I mean, of course, if you are willing to join. The Cardinal will go over this with you when you speak to him, as you were his first summons. But if you do not want to serve the Mouthpiece, we can easily have you return to the Pits.â
Aurum blinks. Tries not to think of the fury in Fogâs eyes last heâd seen her. âI- Iâll serve,â he croaks, even though he still isnât quite sure what serving entails. Wonders what heâs signed himself up for.
He can pretend, though. Like pretending isnât the only thing heâs ever been good at doing.
Omega smiles, and Aurum gets the strange sense that this one is the most genuine one heâs seen yet. âGood. Itâs been a pleasure to properly meet you, Multi. Iâm sure you must be exhausted, the body uses a lot of energy in recovery. Iâll leave you to rest, but I wonât be far if you need me.â
Aurum opens his mouth to respond, but Omegaâs already turned towards the door, counting something on his fingers as he leans out of the doorway and calls to someone out of sight. âSister Delilah, I-â
The door shuts behind him.
Aurum crosses his arms over his chest, shrinks in on himself. He feels so cold.
Thankfully, the next few days pass without incident. Thereâs a slow stream of people coming in and out to check on him, mainly Omega and the Sister of Sin the bigger ghoul had spoken to as heâd left on that first day.
Sheâs the first human heâs ever seen. He does his best not to stare. She smiles and he does his best to return it. Delilah tells him that the Cardinalâs going to love him. Aurum wonders exactly what she means by that. Heâs yet to meet him.
His infirmary stay passes in a bit of a blur, and the next thing he knows, Omegaâs unwrapping the bandages from his arms, a healthy buzz of quintessence applied to dull whatâs left of the ache. Heâs dressed in a black, long sleeved button up, slacks and shoes of the same color. He ties some of his locs back, letting the rest hang past his shoulders. He hasnât been this put together in a very, very long time.
He finds he doesnât exactly mind it, even if his thoughts start to wander to a place heâd forbidden for himself a long time ago.
Aurum shakes his head to clear the fuzz as Omega hands him a package wrapped in black velvet.
âThere are, well. Certain rules involving the behavior and presentation of ghouls here,â Omega starts to explain, eyes glancing around as Aurum watches him try to best summarize. âWe are to be in uniform. A united front to serve the Church, if you will. Youâll get fit for a proper uniform once you get settled into your new quarters.â
Aurum nods, smoothing his thumb over the velvet. Thereâs something hard underneath. He doesnât dare unwrap it yet. Aurum just watches Omega, does his best to keep eye contact.
âBut this,â Omega says, gesturing to the bundle in his lap. âThis is the most important thing you will ever wear on the Surface. It is to be worn in all public areas of the Ministry, and outside it. Your summoner may or may not have rules about wearing it in front of him.â To this, Omega gets that strange, distant look in his eye, âBut that is to be discussed with him, not me.â
Aurum nods, hesitantly pulling the velvet away. It almost feels like mockery, a featureless face that shines of chrome, empty vacant holes for eyes to stare from. A mask with horns and a slot cut from the chin for his mouth. He trails his eyes over where the mask would curl over the top of his head, over where his horns curl back, much larger than these.
Omega must sense his confusion, because he smiles, steps forward. âDo you know how to glamour?â he says, even as he goes through putting away all the medical equipment Aurum had spent the last however many days hooked up to. âItâs much easier Up Top than Down Below. Just call on your magic, and it will be there.â
Aurum blinks, looks up to Omega to question him, and has to do a double take. Itâs still Omega standing in front of where he sits at the side of the hospital bed. The same grey and dark hair, same build, but his horns and tusks and the violet of his eyes have been wiped away like chalk. A startled laugh barks from Aurumâs throat, and itâs a testament to how far heâs recovered that the act doesnât send him into a coughing fit.
âIâd like you to try,â Omega says, pressing a large hand to the center of his own chest. âItâll be right here. Reach in and pull it out.â
Aurum takes a deep, deep breath. He hasnât tried anything like this in decades. The little voice in the back of his head wants him to snap at Omega. His survival instinct tells him that Omega is much bigger and stronger than him. He hasnât seen the quint angry yet, and he doesnât think he ever wants to. He shuts his eyes. Does his very best to focus.
Itâs like grabbing at flame itself, incorporeal. Aurum reaches into the core of himself, where his fire has taunted him for nearly his entire life. He reaches for the magic that makes him a ghoul and it dances, laughing, away from him.
He growls at himself and Omega takes a step back. Shame and frustration burn through him, but he shakes his head and just tries again. And again, and again, until Omegaâs voice rings through his frustrated focus.
âThere you go, take a look,â he says, warm, and if Aurum knew any better, heâd say Omega sounded proud. It makes his head spin. He ignores it. He glances over to the mirror above the sink in the corner of the room and just stares.
Hair still dark. His horns gone. He doesnât look quite human, too many teeth to fit properly in his mouth, but itâs passable. His skin, instead of the deep charcoal it once was, is a rich, warm brown. His eyes are no longer gold, now so dark itâs hard to distinguish pupil from iris at this distance.
Aurumâs not sure how he feels about this new appearance. Heâs just starting to figure it out when the magic slips from him and his reflection is far more familiar.
âThatâs it!â Omega praises, resting a big hand on Aurumâs shoulder. âThe first couple of times are a bit shaky, but you have the principle. Iâm sure youâll have it down in no time.â
Aurum tries again until he sees that strange man in the mirror again. He rolls his shoulders, staring himself down. Seeing the reflection move cements it a little more into reality instead of a trick of the light. As does looking down at the paler skin of his palms. Short, blunt, almost pink nailbeds instead of claws.
He takes a deep breath, gaze shifting to that fucking mask. He rolls his shoulders again. Thereâs an ache in the movement that the quintessence hasnât touched. This has been the strangest day? Week? Who knows how long heâs been Up Top. But itâs been the strangest period of his life, and he knows that stranger is coming still.
He stands, and Omega rushes to steady him. âEasy, Multi, no need to rush,â he presses, but Aurum just tunes him out.
âGotta go meet the Cardinal at some point, right?â Aurum says, flashing Omega a bright, toothy smile that doesnât quite reach his eyes before putting on the mask. âMight as well get it over with.â
Omega smiles back. Probably a little more genuine than Aurumâs own, but not by much. He pulls out his own mask, a similar design but a much more matte silver, almost pewter, and thereâs no slot for his mouth. âYou do have a point,â he says, voice barely muffled, and turns to open the door. âFollow me.â
Aurum takes a breath and follows Omega out of the infirmary.
Itâs the first real glimpse of this new world heâs stumbled into. It reminds him, painfully, viscerally, of the grand cathedrals he used to attend with his family. The thought is swiftly and methodically put away. All of the pain pushed to the furthest recesses of his mind so he can stay on guard.
The halls of the Ministry remind him painfully, viscerally, of the chapels and sanctums and grand cathedrals heâd attended a lifetime ago with his family. The thought is swiftly and methodically put away in the furthest recesses of his mind. He needs to stay on guard, even as he walks behind Omegaâs larger form.
Itâs new and itâs familiar all at once. Lined with high, arching windows, clear and stained glass. Statues of various Saints and iconography, countless unseeing eyes staring down at them as they walk the marble floors.
And thatâs not to mention the eyes that do see him. Thereâs dozens upon dozens of humans moving through the hallways as well, and Aurum feels each gaze peering at him curiously. The scents are strange and foreign, yet familiar. Curiosity, nerves, appraisal. They turn to each other and whisper, and in this new glamour, all his ears let him hear is the rushed breathiness, no real words able to be made out.
He swallows hard, stares at Omega ahead of him. Walks with a purpose even if he doesnât know what it is.
After a while, Omega stops in front of an unassuming door. A bronze nameplate reads âTreasurer,â and Aurum furrows his brow. Thereâs no need to distrust Omega, though, and he shrugs, rolling his neck as Omega knocks.
âCardinal?â Omega calls. âI have your first summon ready to report for duty.â
âOh, it is time?â A harried voice responds, muffled through the thick wood. Papers rustle. Something thuds. âI was not expecting, just a moment, perdonami.â
âTake your time, Cardinal,â Omega says, and Aurum can hear the sigh in his tone. He doesnât try and read into it, instead glancing between the back of Omegaâs head and the shine of polished brass.
Several long, awkward moments pass before footsteps approach rapidly to the door. Aurum braces himself as it opens.
The first thing he sees is the Eye. Even through the mask, the blinding white peers into the very core of his being. Aurumâs shoulders draw up on instinct and he shifts onto his back foot.
Omega bows his head. âYour first summon, Cardinal,â he says, voice low and almost distant. âMade a full recovery.â
âThank you, Omega, your efforts are much appreciated,â the man says, brushing mousy brown hair back from his forehead before adjusting a bright red biretta with a huff. He is pasty pale, a thin mustache under a prominent nose, freckles spattered over gaunt cheeks, black grease paint around his eyes and upper lip.
Aurum blinks rapidly. He knows that voice. Sense memory fills his lungs with the cold, clear air Up Top. The portal burns where heâd been healed.
This is the human who summoned him.
Aurum didnât get a chance to actually see him before heâd passed out from his injuries. But that voice is etched into the very core of this vessel, bound to the one whoâd brought him here.
The Cardinal looks past Omega, and he cocks his head. Those mismatched eyes rake over him. Appraising. Aurum stands stock still, arms behind his back. He knows this drill. Lets the human make whatever judgment he wants to make.
He shakes his head, blinking out some sort of stupor. âWhere are my manners, come in, come in,â he says, grimacing as he looks over his shoulder at the mess of papers on the desk inside.
Omega takes a step back, pressing a big hand to the small of Aurumâs back. âI will be taking my leave, Cardinal,â he says, that low, respectful tone never wavering. âThe infirmary has need of me, as always. Multi, with the Cardinal, alright?â
Aurum does not look away from his summoner. He swallows hard. âYes, Omega,â Aurum breathes.
He steps into the tiny office. He does not flinch as the door shuts behind him.
The office is small, lined with overflowing bookshelves and one high, small window to light the space, a green bankerâs lamp on the desk in the center of the room to make up for it.
The Cardinal scurries back behind his desk. Itâs a little too big for the office, but he doesnât seem to care or notice. âTake a seat, take a seat,â he gestures, grimacing again as he clears a space of papers into some poor semblance of organization. âMake yourself comfortable, okie dokie?â
Aurum bows his head in the way he saw Omega do moments ago. âThank you, Cardinal,â he says, laying it on a little too thick in an attempt to appease. This he knows how to do. âIâd rather stand if thatâs alright, sir.â
The Cardinal laughs, a surprised little trill, but sits down in his own chair anyways, arranging the bright red fabric of his cassock and sash in pursuit of comfort. âI suppose you have been sitting for quite some time in the infirmary. Whatever you most prefer, makes no difference to me.â
Aurum just bows his head again. His chest rises and falls, breathing as evenly as he can. He will not walk into any trap this man sets. If heâs capable of setting them at all.
Heâs learned the hard way itâs still best to be careful.
The Cardinal finishes rearranging the contents of his desk, filled with tables and numbers and odd symbols that Aurum canât parse even if they were turned the right way round for him, and steeples his fingers, resting his elbows on the desk. âMulti, Omega said?â
Aurum nods. âYes, Cardinal.â
The humanâs chest puffs up a little, sitting up a little straighter. âWell, Multi, I would like to congratulate you on beating the odds, gave us all quite the scare, eh?â
âI apologize, Cardinal,â Aurum says.
The man scoffs, and Aurum jolts upright, meeting his gaze for the first time since he sat down. âNone of that. With your successful summoning, you have made me the first person in living memory in the Clergy to summon a multighoul accidentally.â
His gaze drops to the floor, staring at the black leather shoes Omega had handed him that morning. Something uncomfortable and familiar wells up in his chest. He does his best to ignore it.
âIt makes you very special, Multi, and I have thanked our Lord for this unholy blessing,â the Cardinal says. âBut now that you have recovered, I would like to, eh, discuss the terms of your summoning to the Satanic Ministry.â
Aurum shuts his eyes for a moment. He knew this was coming. He knew the humans needed a ghoul for a reason. For a purpose. He does not dare get his hopes up.
âOmega told me some,â he says, testing the waters. âThe Ghost Project.â
At the mention of the Project, the Cardinal visibly lights up, his white eye gleaming even in the dim light. âSi, I summoned you for the band. I, eh, needed a fire ghoul. The last one..â he trails off, glancing away at a small globe on one of the shelves. âNever mind that, no? We have a fire ghoul now, and I will take you to meet him and the rest of your new bandmates.â
Aurum nods, following the Cardinalâs gaze to watch the globe. Thereâs a thin layer of dust on it. He doesnât look back until his summoner clears his throat, and he snaps back to attention.
âWithin the Project, there have always been ghouls backing the Princeâs Mouthpiece. Helping him spread the Princeâs message. And each element had a specific role. An earth ghoul on drums. An air ghoul on keys. A water ghoul for a bassist. And so on, si? But now, with you here, we get to make something new. Something unique.â The Cardinal seems to gain confidence as he speaks, straightening in his seat, something bright gleaming in the dark green of his normal eye.
Aurum nods again. He digs his blunt, glamoured nails into the delicate skin of his wrist. âI will be useful, Cardinal.â
The human furrows his brow, cocks his head. âYou will be more than useful, my ghoul. You will be great.â
He forces a bit of faked nonchalance through. Shrugs and presses his lips together in a thin line. âI hope Iâll serve you well,â he says. Not matter what he does to try and stop it, thereâs a sinking feeling in Aurumâs chest that he canât deny.
The Cardinal smiles. âSi, me too.â
Aurum blinks. Heâs been so busy keeping up his own facade that he didnât notice that the Cardinal has his own up as well. He takes a breath. âDid you have an idea on my role, Cardinal?â
The man sits up a little straighter in his chair. âA few, that Iâd like to pitch. We have an equal amount of experience with the Project here,â he jokes. It falls a little flat. Aurum just stares.
âWhat would you like me to do?â Aurum asks again. Does his best to keep his tone even and calm.
The Cardinal looks up at him. The Eye pierces through him. Burns. âI would like to know what kind of, eh. Musical experience you have. If you do not have any, you can be taught.â
âI can sing some,â he says, keeping his posture as rigid as he can. No use in fidgeting in front of him. He hasnât caught onto Aurumâs front yet. The mask helps some, as much as it pains him to admit it.
He lights up at Aurumâs admission, clapping his hands together. âGood, very good, I was in need of another vocalist. I have an air ghoulette who will be doing vocals for me, but I want a deeper voice too. Round it out some, no?â
Aurum nods. âYes, sir.â
âWe might also be able to get you on guitar and some assorted percussion. Shaker or tamborine, I am thinking. Not all at once, different parts for different songs, but I hope to have you fill out our rough edges.â
Aurum blinks. Nods even though he feels like heâs thrown himself into the deep end. The edges of himself feel jagged at best, and he wants him to smooth out the others that he hasnât even met yet? Heâll try his best to avoid being thrown back and replaced with someone better. âI hope I will suffice, Cardinal.â
He runs leather covered fingers through his mousy hair, shoving the strands back in place. Those mismatched eyes meet his through the mask. âIâm sure you will, Multi. Our Lord must have had a reason that I summoned you. I am curious to find out why along with you.â
Aurum does not flinch. Offers his summoner a smile, flashing the smoothed out, glamoured teeth. The Cardinal returns it.
He claps his hands together again, leather on leather muffling the smack. âAre we, eh, on the same page on what I want from you, Multi?â he asks, and thereâs something almost genuinely worried in his tone.
Aurum nods, taking a deep breath. Keeps his smile bright. âI think I understand, sir.â
âExcellent.â The Cardinal reddens slightly, his gaze darting away for a moment. Itâs almost a relief to have the Eye off of him. âI have taken enough of your time, I think. I would like to take you to meet your bandmates. I am sorry for having you led on a goose chase around the Abbey, heh.â
Meeting other ghouls. Aurum stifles the instinctive fear response and stands as straight as he can. âItâs fine,â he says, putting everything into keeping his voice clear and level. âShould stretch my legs.â
The Cardinal stands with a huff. âWell then, off to the ghoul wing, no?â
Aurum takes a step back, allows the Cardinal to pass him, and falls into line. It leaves something bitter at the back of his tongue, but the idea of going back scares him more than anything else. Aurum does his best not to show it.
Heâs led through the halls once again, ducking down staircases and winding through corridors until heâs standing in front of an unmarked door. The Cardinal takes a deep breath. âThese will lead to your quarters, the band ghoul quarters. Thereâs a commons and a kitchen, and your packmates should have set aside a room for you. Aether-â The Cardinal cuts himself off. His mismatched eyes narrow for a moment, some conflict racing behind them. He gestures at the door, seemingly giving up on whatever train of thought heâd been on.
Aurum shuts his eyes for a moment. Braces himself. He remembers Omega saying that name, what feels like forever ago. But he shakes his head. Pushes the door open. Best to get this over with.
He steps into the ghoul den, the Cardinal right behind him.
Itâs lit warmly, a few couches and arm chairs scattered around the large commons. Bookshelves line the walls, as well as a few odd pieces of human technology that he canât quite parse. Itâs warm, and Aurum canât help himself from letting his shoulders drop.
That is, until he notices he and the Cardinal are not alone in this room.
His eyes lock onto a pair of ghoulettes tucked together on one of the couches, bent over a book and talking quietly to each other. They look up in unison as they too realize theyâve been joined. A cloud of silver white curls block the eyes of the smaller of the pair, but the taller of them stares at him with warm grey eyes, pupils little pinpricks, almost blue black hair draped down her back. The scent of the room shifts to unease, and Aurumâs not sure how much of it is his own nerves and how much is theirs. He notices neither of them are glamoured or masked.
The smaller of the ghoulettes shifts in front of the other. âCardinal,â she greets, voice chiming like bells, even as her gaze never leaves Aurum. He can feel it pierce through the chrome of his mask even though he canât see her eyes behind her curls.
âCumulus, Cirrus, my lionesses,â Copia says, bowing his head for a moment. He takes off his biretta and clutches it to his chest.
The taller of the ghoulettes cocks her head, glancing between her summoner and Aurum and back. âAre you the multighoul everyoneâs been talking about whoâs joining us?â she asks. The corner of her lips quirk up for a moment.
Aurum shrugs, pulling together every piece of a front as he can. âSuppose so,â he says, trying to match her smile. âSo far, Iâm the only multi Iâve met here.â
The words taste sour, even as he knows them to be true. Thankfully, neither the ghoulettes or the Cardinal pick up on it.
The smaller ghoulette grins, needle sharp fangs filling her smile. ââItâs lovely to finally meet you,â she says. âIâm Cumulus, and this is my mate Cirrus.â
He matches her grin and presses a hand to his sternum. He feels the buttons of his shirt press against his palm. Itâs almost grounding. It makes the smile on his face genuine. âIâm Multi. I look forward to working with you.â
Cirrus looks to the Cardinal. âThis will be fun,â she laughs, and Aurum feels heat come to his cheeks, thankful the mask can, well. Mask it. The Cardinal doesnât have that sort of luxury, going scarlet under the attention of two, undoubtedly, beautiful ghoulettes.
The human sputters for a moment, desperately trying to pull together some sort of composure. âIs- Is everyone else here?â he asks them, and Aurumâs shoulders bristle at the reminder of more new ghouls.
Cumulus hums, thinking. âI think itâs just Dew and Rain here,â she says. âAetherâs in the infirmary, and Mountainâs out on the grounds somewhere. They should be back shortly.â
He nods, and Aurum can hear him swallow. âAlrightie. Would you like me to, eh, retrieve the gentlemen? For introductions?â
Aurum swallows as the three of them talk. He takes a deep breath. Four more to meet. One with a name that heâs heard in passing, and he thinks of the three ghouls heâd seen before heâd collapsed in his summoning. Wonders if any of them are here.
âCardinal?â A new voice asks, and Aurumâs head whips to face it. A lanky water ghoul steps into the commons, teal finned tail curling around his calf. Deep, inky eyes take in each of them, hesitating longest on Aurumâs.
âRain, my ghoul,â he says, pulling at the red sleeve of his cassock. Rain offers him an aloof smile, even as his eyes never leave Aurum. He seems just as guarded as Aurum feels, dipping a toe in the water, so to speak. The scent of petrichor fills the room, mixing pleasantly with the fresh air and soft florals of the ghoulettesâ scents.
âAnd you must be Multi,â Rain says. His voice is low, sounds like meltwater rushing over stones. Aurumâs reminded of the stories of sirens in the Fifth. This must be one of them.
âI am,â he confirms again, still not quite letting his guard down. Offers him the warmest smile he can muster.
The nervous energy in the room crackles, palpable. Not just from Rain. Heâs the biggest ghoul in the room by a long shot, and quite frankly, he doesnât blame them, even if they have him outnumbered. He breathes as steadily as he can. Tries not to broadcast anything they can use against him.
The silence is broken by a throat clearing, rough and hoarse. Aurum startles hard, as does the Cardinal and Rain. Another ghoul steps out from behind Rain, and Aurum has to do a double take.
This ghoul is the spitting image of that water ghoul heâd seen that night, standing between the quintessence and earth ghouls. But not quite. Orange eyes burn like embers into him, sharp features narrowed into a glare as they rake over him. Appraising. It seems like Aurum comes up short, because he huffs loudly.
Instead of the long, silvery hair Aurum remembers seeing, thereâs choppy, copper hair sliced off just long enough to brush against narrow shoulders, just barely hiding a rounded, cauterized scar on his throat. Broken obsidian horns jutting out through the strands of hair. Bony arms cross over his chest, a spiked tail padding against the ground, loudly broadcasting irritation just as clear as the acrid, smokey scent that fills the room.
âDewdrop,â the Cardinal says, nervously glancing between Aurum and this newcomer. The humanâs voice seems to snap him out of his glare. He lowers his head for a moment. Aurumâs eyes lock onto a string of bluish pearls hanging from a pocket in his pants, a mother of pearl grucifix swinging as he shifts his weight.
âCardinal,â he says, hesitant reverence just barely covering a tenseness in his voice. It sounds rough, like he hasnât had a drink of water in weeks. âThis is him?â
Aurum hates the way theyâre talking about him like he isnât even in the room. But he is in fact the newcomer here, yields to the others. Does not want to make a scene, will walk the line carefully for now.
âYes,â the Cardinal says. The leather of his gloves creak as he grips his biretta tighter. Dewdropâs eyes lock onto Aurum then, and if his gaze earlier had felt hot, then this must be what the sun feels like.
He shifts, rocking onto the backfoot in a way he hopes comes across as unbothered.
Dewdrop raises an eyebrow. âTake the mask off. Donât need it here. Let us see who we have to put up with.â
Aurum grins, bright and as easy as he can make it seem even as he can hear the Cardinal sputtering. He reaches up to pull the chrome from his face, letting his glamour melt away. He feels their eyes on him, searching for something he canât quite place. Canât quite place what exactly they all think of his unglamoured, true appearance. âMy apologies, Dewdrop, but have we met before? You seem incredibly familiar. I think you were there for my summoning, but you looked a little different.â
Thereâs a flash of something that flares in Dewâs eyes, an almost imperceptible widening, before Dewdrop just glares. But Aurum catches it.
His tail lashes behind him, spikes scraping against the floor. âAbsolutely the fuck not,â he snaps. Cirrus and Cumulusâs heads whip over to stare. Rain flinches the slightest bit.
âSorry,â Aurum shrugs, smiling but it doesnât touch his eyes. âCouldâve sworn I saw a water ghoul there, but, you know, I could have just been out of it.â
Dewâs upper lip curls up in a sneer, twisting the thin mustache there. âYou were,â he snaps.
Aurum just shrugs again, still smiling easily. He can handle this. A little voice in the back of his mind laughs about denial. Like heâs one to talk. He ignores it.
âHowâd you know? You just said you werenât there,â Aurum smiles. Dewdrop scoffs loudly, and the Cardinal scrambles in between the two of them, even though thereâs still almost an entire roomâs worth of distance.
âEnough of that,â He says, laughing nervously. âWe are to work together, no? None of this.â
Dew takes a deep, shuddering breath. He bows his head, even as his lipâs still curled up in a sneer. âSi, Cardinale.â
Aurum says nothing.
The door creaks heavily open behind him, and every muscle in his body goes rigid as Aurum can feel the ghouls looming behind him. Every eye looks past him, Dewdrop almost seeming to relax as Cumulus smiles warmly.
âAether, Mount!â She greets. Aurum doesnât dare turn around, the name too familiar.
âCardinal Copia,â a deep voice says, wary. âYour presence is a pleasure.â
Another ghoul speaks, and this time Aurum tenses like heâs trapped. âAnd I see the multighoulâs made a full recovery.â
He knows this voice. Knows it was the ghoul that kept avoiding him when he was in the infirmary. Heâs still not quite sure why, but thereâs vitriol underneath the pleasantness of his tone.
âHe has, si,â the Cardinal says, looking past Aurum to the two newcomers. âI brought him down to make introductions. But, Aether, surely you must have met him by now, no?â
Thereâs a long suffering sigh behind him, followed by a low, disingenuous laugh. Aurum remembers, distinctly, what it felt like when his feet sunk into the earth and trapped him. âNo, Cardinal, my duties took me elsewhere.â
âAlrightie,â The Cardinal shrugs, turning back to Aurum, gesturing to the two big ghouls. âMulti, our earth and quintessence ghouls, Mountain and Aether. They are both veterans of the Project along with Dewdrop, and I hope they will guide you as well as they have guided me. Aether and Mountain, our new multighoul, well. Multi.â
Aurum swallows hard and turns around, clutching his mask in his hands. Behind him are two of the biggest ghouls heâs ever seen. It takes every ounce of his will not to cower back, to hold his own as they both glare at him.
The earth ghoul, Mountain, has to hunch slightly, so tall that his antlers would scrape against the stonework ceiling if he stood straight, taller than Esker and Moraine both. Long auburn hair falls from where he tied it back, emerald eyes piercing and narrowed. He cocks his head back and forth, hackles raised.
And if Aurum thought that Mountain was glaring at him, Aetherâs glare is so much worse. Thereâs something burning in the deep violet of his eyes, the bulk of his wide shoulders and broad chest heaving as he grits his teeth. Bright purple hair rushes back in a mohawk, framed by two black, pronged horns. His upper lip lifts in a snarl, revealing a gold tusk.
The Cardinal wrings his hands. âEnough of that, we are to work together, no?â
Aether freezes, squeezes his eyes shut. Mountain puts his hand on the other ghoulâs shoulders. âOf course, Cardinal,â Mountain says, voice deep and soft like a distant rockslide. âAeth,â he says, leaning in to whisper to him. âAeth, please.â
The quintessence ghoul, after a moment, nods. âYes,â he says, bowing a head to the new frontman. He levels one last glare at Aurum before moving past him, bumping shoulders harshly as he makes his way to Dewâs side. He pulls the little fire ghoul against him, and he goes without protest.
Aurum matches his stare, holds his chin up, because thereâs no fucking way heâs going to let that slide. But in front of the Cardinal, he just holds himself to the promise of later.
The Cardinal claps his gloved hands together, the sharp noise enough to startle several ghouls, Aurum included. âWell. Introductions. I will show Multi to his room and then I will be out of your hair,â he says, forced cheer barely hiding the manâs nerves. They smell acrid.
Cumulus smiles, leaning against Cirrusâ shoulder. âPerfect,â she says, either not picking up on or just straight up ignoring the thick tension in the air.
âWhen do practices start?â Rain cuts in, finned tail flicking through the air like itâs cutting through water. His long, elegant fingers twitch at his sides, glancing around the room and not quite looking at his summoner.
The Cardinal thinks for a moment, clearly not quite comfortable yet with everyoneâs eyes on him. âGroup practice will start tomorrow,â he says. âOnce you all have had a little time to settle. Get to know each other.â
The speed at which everyoneâs eyes shift from the Cardinal to Aurum makes his head spin. His fingers clench at his side, and his heart races so fast he thinks that Omega might have made the wrong choice releasing him from his care.
Aurum straightens, muscles so tense his back starts to ache, before dropping into a looser, more relaxed posture, glancing from ghoul to ghoul. He hopes heâs coming off as warm. It seems like itâs working until he locks eyes with Aether.
The anger there is palpable.
If he were unglamoured, his ears would pin back flush to his skull, tail curling around his leg like a kit. But he swallows hard and meets Aetherâs gaze back.
The world around him sort of dulls. He can hear the Cardinal wishing them farewell as he returns to his own duties, hears himself replying alongside the others. But thereâs a fog around him thatâs only broken when Aether huffs, turning to Dewdrop and murmuring something too low for him to pick up. The two of them turn and disappear down the hallway, and one by one, the others go too.
Aurum squeezes his eyes shut, letting out a shallow, shaky exhale once he thinks heâs alone. Lets everything come down for just a moment before trying to integrate himself into this packâs lives.
âYou alright?â
Aurum startles, whirling on his heels to face the voice. Heâs met with the water ghoul, Rain. Those inky deep eyes stare into him, the distinction between pupil and iris only differentiated with a glimmer of blue.
He blinks slowly, head tilting as he takes Aurum in. Aurum just straightens, hoping that at least one of these ghouls finds something worthy.
âIâm sure theyâll warm up to you soon,â he says, gills on the sides of his neck fluttering with the rise and fall of his chest. His voice is quiet, not quite shy but something aloof and hesitant. âIt took them a few days for me.â
Aurumâs brow furrows, unable to look away from this siren. Rain blinks, finned ears tucked close to his head, the teal peeking out from blue-black waves that hang shaggy and brush against his shoulders. âIâm sorry,â Aurum says. He isnât sure what heâs apologizing for.
Rain just shakes his head. Puts a hand on his bicep, fingers splayed and putting the webbing on full display. âDo you want me to show you where youâre staying?â he asks softly.
He manages to pull his eyes away from Rain, glancing to the hallway all the others disappeared down. âIf you wouldnât mind?â
The water ghoul smiles wide enough to put those serrated teeth on full display, and Aurum hauls his guard all the way back up. âFollow me, all of us new summons are at the end of the hall.â
He turns and walks away, and Aurum snaps out of whatever weird fog heâd found himself in to follow.
The hall is narrow, lined with thick wooden doors, each with a bronze nameplate. Aether, Mountain, Dewdrop⌠and then the nameplates tarnish, letters scraped away in a fury. Aurumâs hackles raise as Rain leads him further away from the open common room. His stomach churns. There is something unfathomably large here. Invisible, almost tangible.
For what itâs worth, Rain either isnât affected by it, or is just incredibly good at pretending. He keeps walking to the very end of the hall, a small altar set into a niche. The flame of the pillar candle set there flickers, and Aurum shifts onto his back foot. His heart races in time with it and he hates it.
Rain turns back around. Aurum scrambles to look nonchalant. âThis oneâs yours,â he says, voice smooth and even, gesturing to a door with another scratched out nameplate. The only betrayal of confusion on Rainâs face is the way his dark eyes flash from Aurum to the altar and back.
âThanks,â he says, trying his best to lay it on thick the way that made Fog smack his arm playfully, once upon a time. Even though itâs only been a few weeks at most since heâd crawled from the Pit, it genuinely feels like a lifetime ago. Like it was a completely different ghoul whoâd run with Fog and her pack.
It was.
He slips into the room that is apparently his now and starts to close the door. Rain cuts in, long fingers curling elegantly around the door jamb. âIâll see you at practice?â he says, an eyebrow quirking up in curiosity. His finned tail flicks behind him.
â Aurum nods, reaching a hand up to smooth back his locs. âIâll see you at practice. This canât be too hard, right?â Thereâs a lilt in his tone, even as his fingers shake the slightest bit. Rain shrugs, shifting on his feet. Stares at him down the bridge of his prominent nose. âIt was pretty quick to pick up bass guitar,â Rain says. âIâve never played before. I donât know how quickly youâll pick up your parts, though. The Cardinal said that youâd have more than one.â Aurum exhales hard through his nose. âFor the different elements.â âThatâs what he told me,â Rain says. âI do hope you donât have too hard a time. Though some of the others might be able to help? Depending on what elements.â
He just shrugs. âIâll ask for help if I need it,â he lies. âIâve always been pretty quick at picking things up.â
Rain smiles. âGood to hear. I- Uh, I think Iâm taking up too much of your time,â he says, finned tail sweeping against the stone floor as it waves behind him languidly. âIâll let you get settled.â
âIt was nice meeting you, Rain,â he says, because itâs true.
âLikewise. Glad youâre doing better.â The water ghoul lowers his head for a moment, before backing away with a smile and turning towards another door, the same defaced brass nameplate embedded in it. âSee you tomorrow.â
Aurum nods. âSee you tomorrow.â
He slips into his room, and his entire posture drops the moment he hears the door latch. He flips the lock before pressing his back against the door, chest heaving with a long, weary sigh. Everything feels like itâs crushing him, a barrage of new stimuli making his skin itch in a way it hasnât in a while.
Aurum gives himself just a moment to shove his face in his hands. He does his best to get his breathing under control. It shakes and protests his every effort to force it into obedience.
Eventually though, he gets there. He doesnât feel like heâs going to pass out at the next new sensation anymore. He rolls his shoulders back, one of them popping and settling back into its joint, and takes a look around.
Itâs fairly bare bones, but itâs more furnished than anything Aurumâs had access to since he was a kit. A mattress on a frame large enough for him to properly stretch out on, burgundy sheets and covers made up in crisp, near military lines. A desk and chair, a wardrobe, a floor lamp, shelves with nothing held upon them. Thereâs heavy, navy curtains against one of the walls, a sliver of golden, reddish light painted onto the stone floor where they havenât been drawn all the way.
He showers, ridding himself of the last of the antiseptic scent thatâs been clinging to him since he left the infirmary. Changes into soft, warm clothes that have been supplied to him. The adrenaline of everything new is coming down and coming down fast.
Aurum sprawls out on his back on his brand new bed, not even bothering to turn down the covers. He groans as he almost seems to sink into the mattress, so much softer than where heâs been sleeping for the last few parts of his life.
His chest rises and falls with a deep, slow breath. And then his brow furrows.
The room has been cleaned since whoever lived here last left. But underneath the scent of fresh air when the windows had been left open to air out, thereâs the hint of something darker, warmer. Almost, he strains to inhale as much as he can, like amber and saffron and spice.
He lays on his back, eyes wide open, as he stares up at the ceiling, breathing in the last dregs of this strangerâs scent. Thereâs a scorch mark on the one of the tiles in the tin ceiling.
Sleep takes him as he wonders who heâd been meant to replace, and why theyâd need replacing.
Practice starts early the next morning. Rain meets him in the commons, wearing all black and an identical mask to the one that Omegaâd given him, presses a mug of something hot and bitter smelling into his hands. âThereâs sugar in the kitchen, but a couple of the others are there right now. I understand if you want to keep a little distance for now, they were pretty harsh yesterday.â
Aurum blinks, still reeling from a dream where someoneâd been yelling at him. Heâd woken up unsure whose voice it was, rattled to the core. âThanks,â he says, a little wide eyed. Aurum glances down at the mug and takes a sip, grimacing at the taste. âShit, thatâs, thatâs sure something,â he sputters, laughing a little.
Rain smiles a little sheepishly, glancing up at the clock. âItâs coffee. Should wake you up a little bit,â he teases, knocking a shoulder against Swissâs. The ease with which Rainâs made himself comfortable with Aurum makes his head spin a little. âReckoned you didnât have any in the infirmary. Itâs very human.â
âThey drink this?â he says, a little astonished. Rain just laughs. Cirrus and Cumulus emerge from the hallway, greeting Rain before turning to Aurum.
âMorning, boys,â Cumulus says, face rosy with sleep, her curls neatly pulled back as she buttons up her black uniform shirt, her tie and suspenders missing. Sheâs tucked under Cirrusâs arm, held close to her side.
âGood morning,â Aurum says, bowing his head a little as he greets each of them. His tail flicks and curls around his calves, moving languidly. Cirrus smiles, glances at his mug.
âWeâre excited to finally have you join us,â she says, her voice soft and low. In the hand thatâs not around her partnerâs shoulders is a similar mask to the one that Aurum wears now, silver curls framing the face.
âMe too,â he says, and heâs genuinely surprised to realize that he means it. He takes another drink from the mug Rain had given him, grimacing.
âThereâs milk and sugar in the kitchen,â the water ghoul says again, almost reaching to take the mug from him.
Aurum opens his mouth to reply when two figures emerge from the kitchen door. He freezes in place as bright violet eyes glare at him from behind chrome.
âMorning, Aeth,â Cumulus says, glancing between the quint ghoul and Aurum, judging the tension. Aether turns away to face her, and Aurum feels something bristle in him at the way Aetherâs entire self seems to melt.
He doesnât know what heâs done to upset him, and the sting of familiarity is the part that hurts the most.
Aurum downs the rest of the coffee, ignoring the sharp taste, and slinks into the kitchen to put the mug in the sink. The dayâs hardly begun and he already wants to go back to hiding in his room.
But practice is to be had, and he doesnât want to risk upsetting his summoner by not attending. All of the ghouls gather in the commons, dressed near identically, and one by one, they don their masks and slip out into the halls. Aurum follows them, winding through another set of hallways and stairwells until they reach a room in the lowest level of the Ministry with wide double doors.
Thereâs about a dozen instruments mounted on the walls, and Aether, Dew and Rain each reach for one of their own. Sleek, black and white, almost sharp curved bodies, and they sling the guitar straps over their shoulders before heading to the center of the room.
Itâs the mock up of a stage, and Mountain holds out his hand to Cumulus as they and Cirrus climb up the steps to the back platform; the ghoulettes sitting behind keyboards and Mountain taking a deep breath as he sits behind a massive, intricate drum kit.
Thereâs an empty corner marked by a microphone, and Aurum glances around waiting for any sort of direction. A flash of red catches his eye, and he turns to face the Cardinal.
âMulti, I apologize, heh,â he says, tripping over his tongue in his mouth as he approaches Aurum. The other ghouls warm up, tuning and testing equipment, and some of them look like itâs simply second nature. His fingers twitch. âForgive me, I have not shown you your instruments or your parts.â
Aurum bows his head. âItâs alright, Cardinal,â he says, even as he feels his heartbeat picking up, that bird that makes his ribcage its home desperate to get out. âYesterday was busy.â
âEh, it was,â he says, leading Aurum back to that wall of instruments. His summoner reaches up and pulls down a sleek black guitar, rounded edges polished to such a shine that he can see his own reflection in it. âThis is to be yours, my ghoul.â
The Cardinal passes it to him, and Aurum takes it carefully. Knows instinctively that this is an object of some great importance. It feels almost right in his hands and he relishes in that sensation. âI- uh- forgive me, Cardinal,â he says carefully, watching his face for any sort of reaction. âIâve never played anything like this.â
He just nods, like heâd been expecting such a response. âMany of our ghouls who have served the Project had no musical experience prior to coming Up Top,â he says, and Aurum can hear the many times his summonerâs said this before in the tone of his voice. âYou can be taught, and well, eh, most of our newcomers pick up their required skills quite quickly.â
Aurum takes a deep breath, slings the strap over his head, and tries to settle his limbs in a close approximation of how Rainâs holding his guitar. Fingertips of one hand on the neck, thumb resting on the thickest string. It smells of metal and polish, heavy in his nose but far from unpleasant.
âYour guitar parts are in a folder on your platform,â the Cardinal continues. âOf course, when we do head out for shows, we do need to be memorized. Lord Below knows I still need to do some memorizing of the old songs.â
Aurum nods, but heâs picking gently at that thickest string, feeling the vibration of the lowest note buzz against his stomach. He swallows hard. He can do this. And once he gets back into the practice of reading music and singing, he should be golden. The thought makes him cringe for just a moment.
Once again, heâs glad heâs wearing something that obscures most of his face.
âAnd you have very similar parts to Aether, so if you need help, I am almost certain heâd be willing to help you. He is a very skilled guitarist.â
Aurum wouldnât call himself the greatest at reading people, especially humans heâs known for less than twenty four hours. But the waiver of uncertainty in the Cardinalâs tone is loud and clear. He glances over the humanâs shoulder, only flinching a little bit as those violet eyes burn into him.
Aether turns his back, making his way over to Dewdrop, and leans in to whisper in the fire ghoulâs ear. Dew nods, glancing over to the Cardinal, before letting Aether guide his hands over his instrument.
âHeâs been helping Dewdrop learn a new instrument as well,â the Cardinal explains uncertainly. He wrings his gloved hands together in a motion that almost looks like he wants to pick at his hangnails, but the leather prevents such a thing. âHe has truly been a great help during this time of great transition.â
Dew looks up at that. Orange eyes burning. Aurum just swallows hard, staring down at the guitar in his hands. âThank you, Cardinal. I look forward to learning.â
He smiles, the thin mustache on his upper lip curling a little bit. Nervous, sure, but genuine.
Itâs easy enough to refresh himself on reading sheet music. He thanks the Sisters that humans used a similar enough notation, and then freezes up on his platform. Aurum hasnât done anything like that in decades, thanking the Sisters. He shakes his head and gets back to it.
Heâs more than clumsy with his new guitar, outshined by miles by the rest of the ghouls around him. Aurum likes to think he makes up for it with his singing. He can feel the gazes of the others, turning to watch when the Cardinal works with him alone.
In the same way that Aurumâs new life had been measured by the intervals between being checked up on in the infirmary, his life becomes the intervals between practices. Itâs a struggle, sometimes, willing himself to focus on learning.
Something deep inside of him bristles when he sings praise for a deity he turned his back on more than half of his life ago.
But he knows, somehow, that to protest means being sent back. And that thought makes him feel worse. Not after all the work theyâd put in to keep him alive. Aurum knows theyâd take it out of his hide before kicking him back Down.
So he keeps singing.
The guitar comes less easily, much to his frustration. The damn thing is so touchy, intricate and foreign. As much as he doesnât want to, with the tour fast approaching and his parts far from mastered, he knows what his only option is.
Itâs difficult to get him alone, because heâs always shoulder to shoulder with Dewdrop, but somehow, Aurum catches Aether alone in the Ministry halls one afternoon.
The quintessence ghoulâs expression changes lightning fast when he realizes whoâd stopped him, just a flash of vitriol before fading to something pointedly neutral. âHow can I help you, Multi?â
Aurum tries his best to pull together any semblance of confidence, that ease and smoothness that he can pull with Rain, Cirrus, Cumulus. He holds his wrist behind his back, fingers wrapped around thin skin over bone.
âI was told by the Cardinal that youâd be willing to help me with practice?â he says, and curses himself to the City and back when it comes out shaky. Unsure. âHaving, well, a fair bit of trouble with the guitar. Iâm not quite getting the hang of it.â
Aether, even behind the mask, raises an eyebrow. Aurum winces as he stares him down. âI know,â he says curtly. âBelieve me, I know.â
Aurumâs hackles raise, and he takes a deep breath to try and stay level. He knows Aetherâs got him beat if he steps out of line. All he smells is ozone. Roiling storms under the thin veneer of fresh air. âWell, sorry, this is all still new to me,â he mumbles, looking away. âThe Cardinal told me to go to you.â
Aether huffs, thick arms crossed in front of a broad chest. Thereâs the glint of silver, a bracelet, wrapped around one wrist. âWell, I can help you, but Iâm currently helping Dewdrop with lead guitar. I will help you as soon as heâs got it down.â
âI need- Donât we leave-â Aurum sputters, grip tightening around his own wrist. âPlease.â
Aether hums, head tipping back a little as he considers. âI know we leave soon. Iâm just,â he takes a deep breath. Aurum is reminded of overhearing him that first day awake. âIâm incredibly busy,â he says. âYou know what? Iâm going to talk to Omega. He had my part when he was part of the Project. Iâm sure heâll be able to help you while I help Dewdrop.â
Aurum slinks back a little bit. âI mean, absolutely, any help I could possibly get.â He tries not to let any sort of bitterness through on his tone. But he knows Aetherâs quintessence, can probably tell anyways.
Aether grins. The gold fang gleams at him through the cutout of his mask. âIâll go talk to him, then. On my way to the infirmary now, as it was. Iâll have him let you know.â
Aurum knows a dismissal when he hears it. He lowers his head to Aether the way heâs been doing to the Cardinal. Something burns in his chest. âThank you, Aether,â he says. Heâs not sure how much of it he means.
Omega reaches out not long after. To his credit, Omegaâs an incredibly skilled guitarist. Infinitely patient as well. Heâs taught before, even if he doesnât mention who exactly it was in Aurumâs position last.
He works Aurum through all of the old songs, trying his hand at some of the Cardinalâs own, even if he never played any of them with the Project. Itâs always at strange times of day, whenever Omega can sneak away from the infirmary for an hour or two without the place catching fire.
But Aurum is truly grateful for any help he can get, does his genuine best to focus and learn and absorb. Tour looms closer every single day.
Itâs late one night, a few days before theyâre meant to ship out, when Aurum turns to Omega in the practice room after the older ghoul hangs up his retired Fantomen back on its mount.
âI really donât think Aether told me the truth,â Aurum says, fiddling with a tuning peg on his own HagstrĂśm.
âHm?â Omega says, running a clawed hand through his greying hair. âAbout what?â
Aurum takes a breath. âAbout why exactly he couldnât help me? He said he had to help Dewdrop, but their parts arenât the same.â
Even with his back turned, Aurum can see clear as day the way Omega stiffens. A low groan escapes his throat. âI trust Aether. With the Project and the infirmary. I trained him for both. But youâre right. Aetherâs⌠Aetherâs troubled right now. Who isnât?â
Aurum doesnât respond.
Omega turns to peer over his shoulder, a bright lavender eye meeting his own. âItâs not my business to share, but things have been shaken up here quite dramatically in the last year.â
He nods. âI- I can feel it,â he admits, stretching his wrists and shoulders. âIt feels like- I was in kind of a bad spot Down Below for a while. Kind of feels like that. Waiting for a shoe to drop.â
Omega, like he had in the infirmary countless times, goes a little hazy in his eyes. Itâs only for a moment, and he snaps back to himself visibly. Gives a little chuckle. âYeah, I know what you mean.â
âWhat happened to Aether?â Aurum asks. Heâs a little surprised to find genuine curiosity behind it.
The older ghoul lets out a soft exhale through his nose, those violet eyes shutting as he braces himself. Goes somewhere else for a moment. âThatâs, well. Thatâs not exactly for me to tell you. Not my business. But he, Mountain, and Dewdrop are the only surviving ghouls of the previous⌠administration. Minus myself. But Iâm from some time older.â
Aurum lets that sit for a moment. But Omegaâs not done.
âAether took it particularly hard because of the fact that he and Dewdrop are mates. Very recent mates, in fact.â Omegaâs brow furrows, and he looks deeply concerned all of a sudden. âDonât tell them Iâm telling you this. But they only became mates after you were summoned. I think it gave them enough to make it through that week. Lord Below knows they needed it, may He watch over them.â
He shrinks in on himself. Stares at Omega.
The silence feels thick and sticky, and Aurumâs hackles raise. Omega startles a little. âWait, I forgot-â He turns to where his white coatâs abandoned in a pile on a crate of equipment; abandoned when heâd come in for lessons. âI know youâre headed out with the Cardinal in a few days. I wanted to give you a going away gift, of sorts.â
Aurum perks up, head tilted like a puppy thatâs found something confusing. âOh, Omega, I couldnât-â
Omega doesnât seem to listen, rustling in his coat pockets. âYouâve grown leaps and bounds since weâve met, Multi, and I am genuinely, deeply proud of all that youâve been able to accomplish. Iâm certain you are going to make the Olde One proud.â
Despite the way his chest swells with warmth as Omega praises him, Aurum winces hard at the thought. Omegaâs back is turned and he doesnât notice a thing. With a satisfied huff, Omega straightens once heâs found what heâs looking for. He turns back with a black velvet bag in one large hand. Itâs similar to the bag that had held his mask when it had been presented to him.
âNow, I havenât seen you attend Mass. And thatâs perfectly fine, I promise. Not all of us- I understand not everyone is deeply pious here, despite it being an abbey. But I still wanted to give you this for the road. It brought me comfort when I was away from the chapels, on tours, and I hope that you may find use for it.â
Omega presses the bag into Aurumâs waiting hands, beaming down at him. âThank you,â he says, feeling items shifting underneath the velvet. Something hard. âTruly.â
He claps him on the shoulder, and Aurum shuts his eyes with a shudder at the sensation of touch. âYouâre going to be great, Multi. Donât you forget it.â
âThank you, Omega,â Aurum says, because thatâs all he feels like he knows how to say. âI- Iâll do my best.â
âAnd that is all we ask for,â Omega says, but thereâs something behind his eyes that says thatâs not up to him to decide.
Once heâs back in the ghoul wing, sequestered away carefully behind a locked door, he overturns the contents of that little velvet bag over his duvet. A few things tumble out; a bundle of incense that smells sweet and herbal, even unlit, a plain silver grucifix on a rosary, a gold ceramic candle holder, and a tall, thin black pillar candle.
All of a sudden, heâs a kit leaving home again, the last glance at that altar opposite the front door with the five candles identical to this very one.
His chest heaves, claws digging into the meat of his palms. A gray haze settles over him. Aurum doesnât know how much time passes before he snaps out of it, a sharp pain in the spade of his tail.
He shakes himself to awareness to find the leathery spade between his teeth, fangs having pierced the skin on accident. Like a teething fucking kit instead of a grown adult.
â Fuck, â he snaps, cursing up a quiet storm in Ghoulish. He reaches for the candle holder, itching to feel the way itâll shatter if he fastballs the ceramic into the stone wall. A wave of shame hits him like a train at the thought and his tail, still bleeding sluggishly, curls around his calf.
This was a gift. A travel altar for the One Aurumâs turned his back on, sure, but itâs still a gift. He canât just- Fuck!
Aurum snarls, pacing a little in his room, still just as bare bones as the moment Rain showed it to him. Thereâs a bag half packed on his desk, toiletries and whatever casual clothes heâs been able to scrounge up. Mostly band tees and jeans, but thatâs not important when compared to the garment bag that his uniform is hung up in.
Aurum takes a deep breath and packs up Omegaâs gift. Tucks the travel altar into the very bottom of his bag. Just to say he took it if Omega asks later.
He thinks heâs ready. For what itâs worth, he convinces himself heâs ready. Heâs always been a halfway decent liar.
The start of the tour is not marked with a grand departure. Sure, the human Siblings of the Abbey celebrate the spreading of the Word, but it is overshadowed by the sense of upheaval and grief that cloaks the entire Ministry. And there is absolutely nothing glamorous in the way all seven ghouls and the Cardinal shuffle about their tour bus, trying to get situated.
Aurum watches his bandmates claim bunks, stands for a moment watching all of the chaos as the Cardinal shuffles through the tight aisle to get to the back bedroom. He takes a deep breath and hauls himself up into one of the top bunks that the others seem to be ignoring.
Itâs dark and quiet, and Aurum instantly relaxes despite the tight quarters reminding him intimately of that lichen covered cave in the Seventh. Of ghouls he has been trying so hard not to think about since he nearly burned alive.
He shuts his eyes. This is to be his home for the next few months. Best that he gets rid of that connotation sooner rather than later.
The bus rumbles underneath him, and soon, Aurum finds himself falling asleep.
The next thing he really knows, between sleep and travel and the dull haze heâs been finding himself slipping into every now and again, is waiting backstage at his very first Ritual.
Aurum can hear the people outside waiting for them, the noise of the crowd cresting and falling like a living, breathing thing. He supposes it sort of is. Aurum doesnât think heâs quite wrapped his head around what heâs gotten himself into.
Thereâs no nerves. He itches to be out of his glamour. His fingers reach up to fidget with the hem of his balaclava, can feel the heat of the sun beating down onto him and his bandmates, all in their matching black uniforms.
It doesnât bother him, body already used to such warm temperatures, but he seems to be only one of a few. Cumulus fans herself with her hand as she stands next to Aether and Dew in their little huddle.
âThis is nothing,â he overhears Aether tell Cumulus, nudging a big shoulder against the smaller ghoulâs before wrapping an arm around her shoulders. âOur old uniforms, the wool cassocks and the masks without the cutouts? Woof. Imagine breathing in your own humidity for several hours straight.â
âAt least we werenât around for those big robes when the Project first started,â Dew cuts in, shaking out his hands, flexing spindly fingers like heâs itching to get his Fantomen in his hands. The blue of his eyes gleams out from the eye holes of his mask. Aurum avoids his gaze.
Rain wrings his hands in front of him, long fingers curling around each other, and Mountain leans in to whisper in the water ghoulâs ear. Eventually, Rain relaxes some, leaning up to smile and whisper back to the taller ghoul.
Of all of them, Cirrus seems the least affected by what theyâre all about to do, minus the ghouls who have in fact done this before.
Aurum does his best to remember chords and frets and finger placements and setlist order and harmonies and there is so much going on in his head he feels like it might burst. No, itâs not nerves, he laughs quietly to himself.
The Cardinal is with them, travel mug in hand, pacing and muttering to himself in a mix of Italian, Swedish and English. The others spare him glances, and Aurum thinks he hears Cirrus ask Mountain if they should go to him.
Aurum doesnât wait to hear the older ghoulâs response. He slips out of the circle and falls in step at the Cardinalâs side.
The man perks up a little, stops in his tracks. Behind him, Aurum can hear the entire rest of the band fall uneasily silent. âWe go on soon, Cardinal,â Aurum leans in and murmurs in his ear. The Cardinalâs paints are freshly applied, his upper lip and eyes painted black and lined crisply. Aurum imagines that wonât quite last long, given the heat and sweat of performing, has seen the man after practices.
âOh, believe me, eh. I know,â The Cardinal says, something bright in his eyes. The Eye especially burns out from the black paint. âYou are with me for Miasma, remember?â
Aurum nods. Only vaguely remembering the talk theyâd had a few weeks ago about stepping off stage to assist with that particular quick change. Theyâd have no other need of him during that part of the set, and heâd been more than happy to help. âOf course, Cardinal.â
The human turns to face him, and Aurum still isnât used to the unadulterated attention of the Eye. A little voice in the back of his mind tells him that heâd run away from all of this. Another voice says that was a lifetime ago. âAre you ready, my ghoul?â he asks with some hesitancy.
Aurum shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath. Lets his shoulders rise and fall with it. âI think I am, Cardinal, and thatâs much better than knowing for sure Iâm not.â
It draws a startled laugh from the Cardinalâs mouth, and a little bit of the tension that wracked his frame dissipates with it. Aurum counts that as a win. âYou truly walk the path of a first,â the Cardinal says, and he canât see the way Aurum flinches. He shakes his head. The Cardinal has no reason to know of the First families that he once belonged to. âI, eh, I have some large sets of shoes to fill. But I have faith that you all and I will be of great service to our Olde One.â
Aurum opens his mouth to protest, but then thereâs the call for places, and a bolt of electricity seems to shoot down each one of their spines. Brought to life and animated, the ghouls and the Cardinal all scramble to their spots. Aurum gets up on his platform, rolls his neck, and takes his HagstrĂśm from one of the techs.
Ashes begins to play, and Aurum watches from on high as the crowd morphs and comes alive . A rush of energy so strong it nearly makes his knees buckle hits him, and the show begins.
All of his nerves and fear vanish as his fingers move on muscle memory. He watches the others move on the stage below him, the Cardinal moving between them. Even as Aurumâs voice joins his, he canât help but admit that the Cardinalâs voice was meant to be the Mouthpiece. He does not believe. Hasnât for a very long time. But he knows that this will sway more humans to His cause, and Aurum sings and plays to the very best of his ability.
Better than all of that is the sensation of countless human eyes on him. Sure, most of them are watching the Cardinal. But he knows the feeling of being watched. Aurum just hopes they like what theyâre seeing.
He lets the music move him and his body, heâs heard it all before in practice, but in performance itâs miles apart. Worries more about showmanship than precise technique.
It works perfectly until Cirice.
The Cardinal steps out onto the platform connecting his own to Mountainâs platform and Cumulus and Cirrusâs platform, walks down to center stage as the song starts. Aurum realizes with a bolt of true, genuine fear that his mind has gone blank. Muscle memory failing him.
Omegaâd drilled Cirice with him for what felt like twenty thousand times. And every single one seems to have been wiped from his memory.
He knows heâs supposed to come in on harmony during the bridge, but- what section- oh fuck- itâs now, isnât it- His entire body seizes up and he does what heâs been taught. Aurum starts to sing.
The Cardinal does not join.
Aurumâs eyes go wide and golden behind his mask. True terror fills every cell of his body. His heart is a bird slamming itself into its cage in a desperate attempt to break free or kill itself trying.
He canât stop now, just keeps singing. And when the Cardinal comes in at the correct time, Aurumâs face burns as he sings the harmony on the bridge again.
Across the stage, Dewâs eyes burn as he glares at him. Aurum swallows hard and squeezes his eyes shut. Show must go on.
And go on it does. After his little slip up with Cirice, Aurum falls back into the swing of things with an almost practiced ease. Of course, he knows itâs all bullshitted, but he does his best to actually make it seem like he knows what heâs doing.
Before he knows it, the band takes a quick break before Monstrance Clock starts, signaling the end of the Ritual. A call to dark prayer and worship, if there ever were one.
Come with us. Join us.
Despite everything, every promised curse, Aurum finds himself swaying along, his HagstrĂśm moving with him. Shuts his eyes and sings and plays and feels something spark almost painfully in his chest that he quickly snuffs out. He knows itâs there, but heâs far from ready to address it. Maybe one day. Maybe after closing dozens of shows in this exact way.
But today is not that day.
Aurum steps down from his platform for bows, hands his HagstrĂśm to the tech whoâd given it to him at the start of the night, joins the others. Satisfaction and exhaustion roll of off his fellow ghouls in waves, even noticeable in human glamour. They toss out guitar picks and drumsticks bow to the crowd, hand in hand, and then they file off into the wings.
The Cardinal breaks off to talk to one of the road staff, but Aurum isnât worried about that. He has more pressing issues. Like-
Dew storms up to him the moment they both are out of sight of the crowd, eyes burning even through the blue of his glamour.
âWhat the fuck was that?â he snarls as they file into the dressing room. Aether and Mountain follow close behind, and Rain shares a nervous look with Cirrus and Cumulus.
Aurum shrugs. He crosses his arms over his broad chest as Dew gets up into his space. âWhat? I made a mistake, oh no, theyâll banish me because I came in at the wrong place.â
Dew huffs sharply, acrid steam curling from his lips. He rolls his eyes as he glares up at him. Aurum thinks the height difference makes it look hilarious, actually. Making a big deal out of nothing. Dew can bark all he likes, but Aurum knows his bite canât be worth shit. âI donât know if you understand exactly what youâve gotten yourself into, Multi,â he snaps. âBut the Ghost Project is an esteemed program. Iâd take this a little more seriously, if I were you.â
Aurum scoffs, his glamoured nails digging into the meat of his palms. His body aches just on the wrong side of pleasant, and the adrenaline of the show hasnât gone down yet. All things considered, heâs been itching for something like this since he woke up Topside. âWell, Dewdrop,â he leans down, letting the gold burn through the dark brown of his human irises. He flashes his teeth in a sneer. âIâm not you, thank the Sisters. I think Iâm taking this just as seriously as I need to.â
He can feel the othersâ eyes on him. Knows heâs pushing buttons just for the sake of a release. Aetherâs glare in particular is sharp, knows the little fire ghoul in front of him is the quintâs mate.
Dew doesnât back down. If anything, he just gets further into Aurumâs face, nose crinkling as he scowls. âWhat a disgrace of a ghoul.â He raises an eyebrow, gaze digging into him. Appraising and coming up short. âYou are here to spread the Infernal Majestyâs word. To sway the humans to Him. He deserves a better messenger than you.â
Aurum laughs, full chested, like Dewâs just said the funniest joke anyoneâs ever heard. This, to his delight, makes Dew recoil. He feels sick. âYou really think I care about the fucking Prince? He couldnât give a shit about me, so itâs only fair I return the favor.â
Dew splutters. âHe made us. He cares.â
He lets his eyes drag down Dewâs body, flicking back up to where his face is rapidly reddening. The rest of the band doesnât exist right now. Itâs just the two of them, and fuck, is it fun to press his buttons. âYou keep telling yourself that. He sure does care. Thatâs why He hurts us and turns His back when we ask for Him. You should know better than most, huh, Dew? Funny name for a fire ghoul, donâtcha think?â
Someone growls. Aurum barely hears it.
Dewâs eyes go wide before they narrow, and he steps closer into Aurumâs space. âOh, fuck you, Multi,â Dew spits. Heâs close enough that he can feel the acrid steam rolling from his mouth as he speaks. âIf your worthless ass hadnât been summoned, maybe it wouldnât be so funny a name.â
Aurum rolls his eyes. This just seems to piss Dew off more.
âYou inconsiderate fucking piece of shit,â he snaps.
The world goes red the moment the word slips from Dewâs lips.
Aurum lashes out, big hands finding Dewâs shoulders. He shoves him back so hard that Dew stumbles, falling on his ass with a shout, just barely catching himself with his hands. Wide eyes stare up at him, stunned into silence. Rain physically recoils. Cirrus hisses. A moment of tense, suffocating quiet waiting for the shoe to drop.
Yelling breaks out, so many voices that Aurum canât pick out the individual words.
He barely has a moment to realize what heâs done before there are hands on him. Aether moves with surprising speed for a ghoul his size, growling so loudly it sounds like a roar.
Aether shoves him against the cinderblock wall behind him with a loud thud. Aurum barely feels it. âKeep your fucking hands off of him,â Aether snarls, pressed so close that Aurumâs eyes cross as he tries to look at him.
âOr what?â he laughs. He doesnât stop laughing, even as Aetherâs hand grabs the column of his throat, grinding the back of his skull into the wall. Even as instinctual fear jolts down his spine, he keeps laughing, grinning manically. He almost wants to spit in Aetherâs face just to see what his reaction would be.
Aetherâs grip tightens, losing his glamour so the points of his claws dig into his throat. âIâll fucking kill you.â
âYouâre holding back,â Aurum taunts. âCome on, big guy. I know you can do it.â
âI should,â Aether spits. âThis is your own fucking fault.â
He cocks his head, even as he winces when Aetherâs claws press at his jugular. Wonders what itâll feel like when they actually make purchase. âAw, really? What did I do?â
âSon of a bitch,â Aether says, but then Mountainâs pulling hard at his arm, yanking him away from Aether. He just barely has time to take a breath before he realizes Mountain isnât trying to save him.
He towers over him, the same way he had to Dew. Mountainâs eyes almost glow emerald, and Aurum doesnât stop grinning. âThere has never been need for a multighoul in the Project,â Mountain says, matter-of-fact. His voice wavers with barely held back rage. âWe could send you back just the same as the humans.â
âThen why wonât you do it?â Aurum asks. He knows heâs digging himself into a hole, but he doesnât remember the last time he felt this alive outside of the Ritual. âCome on, did I get summoned to join a pack of cowards? Iâm not fighting back. Have fucking at it.â
Mountain growls, low and dangerous like a rockslide. His claws dig into Aurumâs biceps, piercing his shirtsleeves and breaking skin. The iron scent of blood fills his nose, and a dark little voice at the back of his mind hopes the entire pack breaks into a frenzy over it.
He laughs, eyes gleaming. âItâs not going to be me, Multi. He should get to do it,â he rumbles, crossing his arms as he towers over them. âHim and Dew.â Instead, Mountain shoves him back to Aether.
Aether shoves his sweaty shirtsleeves up past thick forearms, the silver of his jewelry glinting in the harsh fluorescents. âI am going to make you fucking regret ever looking at that portal,â Aether says matter of fact, sparks of quintessence jumping from his unglamoured claws. A strong hand closes around his throat. Aurum wheezes sharply as his eyes bug out.
He pulls his hand back to rake down his body and gut him like a fish when the door slams open. Every single ghoul freezes.
âWhat the fuck have I walked into?â The Cardinal snaps, white Eye raking over the carnage. âI want an explanation. Right now.â
Aether doesnât look away from Aurum, still glaring daggers into him like he could eviscerate him just like that. âHe put his hands on my mate. I am acting accordingly.â
Aurum doesnât say anything. Chest heaving as Aether lets go, the rough wall still digging into his back through his sweat-soaked shirt. Does not defend himself.
âIs that true, my ghoul?â The Cardinal snaps, wheeling to face Aurum.
The tone makes something shatter in Aurumâs chest, and he wheezes as he tries to answer before he loses himself entirely. His vision unfocuses. His fingertips go numb. Itâs too late. Itâs not like he was going to defend himself anyways.
Aurumâs startled out of his haze by a hand clapping down on his shoulder. He yelps like a kit caught in the preserves jar. The Cardinal hauls him out of the green room, leading him into the hallway.
Thereâs still roadies and staff moving about, teardown beginning to really pick up, but the Cardinal ignores them all. Distantly, Aurum thinks about how different he is from the man heâd met in that office. His hands shake. Does not let his mind go to that closed off door at the very core of himself.
The Cardinal huffs, shoves open a door and flicks on the lights. Itâs an unused dressing room, by the looks of it, and he hauls Aurum into it and slams the door behind them.
If he were unglamoured, his ears would be pinned back tight to the point of pain, tail curled around his calf or lashing nervously behind him. But for what itâs worth, in this makeshift human skin, all he can do is hold his arms behind himself, a womanâs voice echoing in the back of his mind long before the Cardinal starts to speak.
âMulti, we cannot afford behavior like this,â he says, the black suit clinging to his skin with sweat as he paces. âWe made mistakes, yes, we all did. Myself included, eh heh. But that does not mean we can antagonize each other.â
Aurumâs lost, opens his mouth to speak but itâs like he left his voice back in the other room. Maybe thatâs all heâs good at, starting problems. Itâs been the case since he was a kit.
âOh, Multi,â the Cardinal says, voice taking a much different tone, and the pity Aurum finds there makes him bristle, retreat even further into his own mind. âMulti, you donât have to answer, but I just want you to listen, si?â
Itâs all he can do to make himself nod.
âI donât know what your life was like before all of this. You do not have to tell, of course, only if you want,â the Cardinal begins to babble, but cuts himself off. âWhat I am saying is. We have to work together. We have to, or this whole thing falls apart around us, no? The Clergy would have our heads. I, frankly, do not care for the anger the three of them all have towards you. Nor the anger you clearly have for them. But I am responsible for you and your lot, and your mistakes donât just reflect poorly onto you, no? They are my responsibility. And I cannot handle looking bad. The Project is shaky enough as is, I cannot afford any more scrutiny. The Sister Imperator would have my head on a platter.â
Aurum opens his mouth to protest, but the words still donât come. They wouldnât be true anyways.
âI hope we all can find a way to work through this, Multi. For my sake, your sake, and the entire bandâs sake. I just. I do not understand.â
âI- I donât know, Cardinal,â Aurumâs voice returns to him then. âI just- I donât-â
The Cardinal sighs, squeezes his eyes shut. Heâs close enough that Aurum can see where his paintâs smudging around the edges and creases, skin shiny with sweat. âYou donât have to have an answer now,â he says, and he sounds just as tired as Aurum feels. âBut I want you to apologize. I will be talking to the rest of them later. Just. Please, Multi. We all need you, just as you need us. Please.â
Aurum cringes hard, all of that shame and anger and something that hurts too much to name swirling inside of him. âYes, Cardinal,â he breathes. His eyes sting. âIâm sorry.â
The Cardinal sets a gloved hand on his shoulder. âWe will work on it, yes?â
Aurum nods. Itâs all he has energy to do.
âCome, let us get changed. We have a hotel tonight, A fresh start in the morning.â
Aurum nods and follows the Cardinal back to the others.
Unsurprisingly, his fellow ghouls give him as wide a berth as they can muster in the tight quarters. He doesnât mind, nor does he blame them. He deserves it.
The ride to the hotel is a blur, even though Aurum can feel eyes on him the entire way there. He blinks slowly as the Cardinal presses a keycard into his hand. Distantly, vaguely, he realizes it matches Rainâs.
Aurum sighs softly, makes the trudge down the hallway to their room. Itâs just as impersonal as his room back at the Ministry, two beds, a desk and chair, curtains drawn tight, and itâs a comfort and a relief. Rain follows him in, but doesnât set his bag down.
âI- uh- Multi,â he says, quiet and aloof and bristling. Aurum shuts his eyes for a second before turning to face Rain.
âYeah?â he says. His own voice sounds like heâs been gargling nails. He winces at the thought of having to sing again tomorrow.
âI talked to Mountain, while you were with Copia,â he says. He canât quite seem to make eye contact. âI was going to go bunk with him tonight. Thought you might appreciate a little alone time.â
Thereâs enough truth to it that Aurum canât call him out for lying. But he can read between the lines on this one. Remembers the way Rain had recoiled when heâd put his hands on Dew. âThanks,â he says, struggling to shape his mouth around the words. âI- uh- Have a good night?â
Rain gives him a little smile. Thereâs something sad and distant in his eyes, even through the human glamour. âYou too, Multi. Try and get some sleep?â
âI will,â he says. Rain slinks out the door.
The moment the door latches, Aurumâs knees threaten to give out. He sits heavily on the edge of one of the queen beds, bag forgotten. The air conditioning hums like tinnitus in his ears.
He buries his face in his hands and does something he hasnât done since he was a kit.
Aurum cries.
#it gets softer from here i promise. time to go on your healing arc buddy boy#aurum's got a long way to go yet. but he's getting there. nowhere to go but up#but hey the era four gang's finally all here!!#i have so much to say about this chapter#there is no such thing as a perfect victim and everyone here is a victim. no one escaped the era 3-era 4 transition unscathed.#they can act on their worst trauma responses and while it doesn't make them Bad it still makes them asses#omega was a lot of fun to write. took heavy inspiration from my favorite character in the control video game. i think iykyk#copia was fun to write too. he's been a character i've avoided writing for a while because I was nervous about not getting him right#leaving many many tidbits for my own personal ghoul lore that may or may not be expanded upon later#the band ghost#the band ghost fanfiction#dot's writing#swiss ghoul#dewdrop ghoul#aether ghoul#mountain ghoul#omega ghoul#cardinal copia#cumulus ghoulette#rain ghoul#cirrus ghoulette#nameless ghouls#and a very special sibling of sin oc i may expand upon later in honor of my sweet girl <3#cw dissociation
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1-A finding out about Izumiâs kind of villain kind of girlfriends (look itâs complicated and at this point the idea of labels are starting to make her itch) would be hilarious both for the âwhat do you mean the sweet golden girl is fucking villainsâ angle but for someone to come up to her like:
Someone: No but I get it the air of danger is hot. Thatâs how you three got together right
Izumi, sweating bullets and refusing to admit she screamed Shiggy out in some game lobby over kill steals and the two of them got so horny they couldnât see straight: Uh-huh *voice crack*
#the elf talks#mha#bnha#the eye of the storm au#Dabi and Izumi met while Dabi was skulking around at night and Izumi was wandering but it still wasnât dangerous exactly#more like Dabi thought it could be fun trying to get a perfect little school girl to try a smoke and Izumi needed some form of stress relief#all three of them are fail girls but Dabi and shiggy are two separate breeds#Izumi is where the venom diagram of the other two overlaps#a Dabi specific reveal would also be funny but for a wildly different reason#izumi: you mean to tell me. I have been fucking. my best friends dead older sister. for almost two years now#Dabi taking a drag of a cigarette: babydoll letâs be clear here. I have been fucking you
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my neutral dragon age trait is that 50% of the time i'm like "the more i critique the games, the more i love them. i can appreciate each game for what they are but my criticism and frustration over what they could be are a sign of love" and the other 50% is like "this is the writing of the dragon age series. sure. why not. this may as well happen."
#post inspired by seeing a post where someone was asking a blog like 'hey ive only played veilguard what is a mage circle'#50% biting the bars of my cage over the way lore/plot/priorities have shifted and changed over time#50% along for the ride#but on that first point: looking at the plot of veilguard (stopping solas/elgar'nan and ghilan'nain)#im not surprised the mage/templar shit wasn't a big deal#and honestly any frustration i have with that is more so aimed at dai#bc dai was what first reduced the mage/templar war to 'here are some assholes fighting in the woods'#however.#objectively WILD that someone could play ur whole ass game and not know what mage circles/templars are#and then the confusion over an elven rook's backstory is honestly just laughable to me like akjdsjkdf#theyre dalish but they also lived in a town and if they're a mage they also studied somewhere#like. honestly imo not a big issue but like. a simple dialogue choice could've solved this.#it's so funny to me bc it's ridiculous but also. bring back ambient dialogue choices.#like tldr though#i super enjoyed veilguard and i appreciated it for what it did#and while not perfect. i'm a sucker for a story about friends and bonds.#and i think as an interpersonal story it works really well#and i can at the very least respect the writers/devs making the game not as open world#even though i do miss that a lot (as well as talking to ur companions mechanics)#however. the detachment from previous lore is definitely jarring.#not that i think veilguard needed to be about (for instance) the mages and templars#and honestly im happy we got companions that felt unique#bc i was getting real tired of 'here are the elves who hate each other. here is the one who doesnt trust mages'#etc etc etc#and getting to see all these factions was really nice too (though in a perfect world we'd have a legit origin quest imo)#but even just. some kind of way to bring in prev lore#tldr 2 i have my frustrations with the narrative arc as a whole and find them fun to talk abt#but sometimes im just like. it already happened. it's already written.#i will think abt what could've been while also just having fun w/ what i got#final tldr 3 i think dragon age is just the one series that im not always itching to meta essay on LMAOOO
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Feel free to ignore if you werenât here in 2019-early 2021
Revisiting some old designs now that Iâm finally actually able to look at my old stuff/anything related to CH again (weird how itâs been four years since I left, honestly doesnât feel that long, but then again I also quit after I graduated high school and am technically done with a bachelorâs degree already soâŚ)
No this does not mean I have any intention of rejoining the fandom, itâs more like me trying to deal with the amount of emotions/memories I had to uncover and unpack recently (spoilers: itâs a lot)
#deci doodles#goddammit I just realised I got the jifa hairpin wrong noooooooooo Iâm so sorry#Iâve unarchived a bunch of posts on my old insta too#unfortunately thereâs no archive option here so ig just take it as a consolation if anything#feel free to contact me if thereâs anything you want via asks/dms#while Iâd rather not fully repost it on my blog Iâd be happy to at least do it privately#I wonât bother getting into too much detail about how Iâm feeling but needless to say#itâs been a lot frankly#but Iâd like to think that the fact that Iâm finally able to look at all this stuff again and go âyeah I had fun here regardlessâ#Is a decent step forward (especially when considering how Iâd previously reacted the past few years)#obv wasnât perfect and a lot of things I defs couldâve done better#(I mean itâs CH for crying out loud the fandom had a reputation for a reason and I defs did things I regretted)#but I met people I cared for and was just happy that people also liked my mini history posts and whatnot#still I had to leave since so many things happened and Iâm p sure itâs still affecting my mental health to this day#itâs been getting better tho#again the fact Iâm able to look at my old stuff again is something I see as an improvement so gotta take it one step at a time#anyways yeah donât mind me getting sappy and stuff on main#Iâm just digesting everything ig#countryhumans#countryhumans south korea#countryhumans mongolia#countryhumans japan#countryhumans saxe-Weimar-eisenach#countryhumans colonial korea#countryhumans ryukyu kingdom
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Wow, How Do We Relationship? is really really good. Like really good. Love how real the characters are and how messy everything is. And so much representation. I hope the author can stick the landing in the next few weeks, because it's already so good where it is now.
#like. I would have been sad if it had ended with ch 131 but also it technically would be a perfect ending#here's to fun stories while wrapping up#yes I binged read it all in a week#I love all the different outfits that tamifull draws#I relate so much to Miwa and I want to protect her at all cost#The chapters with Tamaki are so wonderful and sad and hit way too close to home#Saeko still infuriates me to no end but I definitely understand#How do we relationship more like please just communicate#how do we relationship
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TimeFire with the stinkiest little smile~! I left this scan relatively unadjusted because I thought the streaky-ness of the ink on the helmet looks pretty cool!
And the version before I added the red and splatter:

#Naoto takizawa#timefire#super sentai#timeranger#mirai sentai timeranger#fan art#ink drawing#comic art#he went on a journey to who knows where?#on a magical journey across the international post system lol#we love this little asshole#been meaning to draw his face for a while it looks very fun... and it WAS!#turns out that the timeranger helmets are fun to draw too(no surprise)#they're very my style... arrows/chevrons#perfect yoshiko shapes#inktober#just kidding i drew this months ago eehehe
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