#and while i think later in life (he died in like 2016) he did some work on the changing face of visual communication

[oacest]

My thoughts on the audio are that I genuinely cannot come up with a sane explanation. I don't think Liam was necessarily in the studio but he has to be talking about him, right? Like IDK there was some visual effect or whatever, literally who else could be the cunt Noel doesn't want to see. Beyond which I am not a proper scholar so please let me know if I'm way off base but I have an extended divorce theory that goes:

2009: Breakup, they're both big mad for a minute

201?-2012: They are texting and like, sending their kids to the same school. possibly the most normal they've ever been.

2013-2015: Liam blows his entire life up and is extremely sad about the consequences of his own actions. I saw actual video footage of Noel saying that he's shocked beady eye broke up and he's actually sweet about it and tells Liam not to give up? who is this man. anyway while Liam will later claim Noel wasn't there for him during the divorce but as a general rule they're much nicer about each other when they're divorcing other people. this is where I become extremely conspiratorial because at some point they had to get the documentary off the ground and a second, more personal breakup is clearly going down around this time. I believe in their ability to deeply wound each other by playing cryptic telephone through the press but I think it genuinely makes more sense if they were actually talking, perhaps about a potential reunion.

2016-2020: supersonic documentary and also (coincidentally?) the apocalypse. Liam launches his solo career, Noel hates it and is pretty relentlessly mean about it and about Liam more generally. we are gearing up for the kind of tweeting/podcast commenting where you call your brother your ex-wife. I think this is also when Noel decides to drag Molly into it for some reason. Liam says publicly that he thinks Noel was waiting for him to hit rock bottom so he could be magnanimous about saving him. whether he thinks this because of something concrete noel did or said or because he's liam is a mystery. the Anais incident goes down, the vogue article comes out. we are never ever getting back together for real this time. noel says a bunch of normal and well adjusted stuff about how he wants Liam to die in a self driving car crash with Donald Trump and seeing his face makes him want to shoot up a MacDonalds.

2020-2022: the pandemic saves oasis. I'm serious. they're both stuck sitting at home with nothing to distract them from themselves and think of brighter days. apparently being trapped in a house with noel is genuinely so unbearable that Sara calls it quits (in the matter of Sara v. Noel I'm on her side). presumably this was cause for at least some self reflection. divorce is a lonely and difficult experience, sara and liam seem to legit hate each other in a way that would be a barrier to reconciliation (in the matter of Sara v. Liam I am also on her side but less so bcs she didn't get trapped in a house with him). at the same time Liam pulls off Knebworth 2022, demonstrating he can handle big events without headcasing (and without noel, and he will be doing those big events solo or otherwise). at this point I genuinely think it was just a matter of time before we were back, baybeee! let's hope they can keep it together.

bro your brain is so huge and deeply wrinkled, profoundly agree with all of this. why you on anon when your opinions are so correct and you could be sharing them with us directly tbh 👀.

but yeah, 100% covid saved oasis lmao. noel's divorce saved oasis. noel's miserable midlife crisis (ongoing) saved oasis 🥰🥰🥰. and it juuuuuust really seems like all those insane highs and lows that went on publicly in the media between them over the years probably, or at least quite possibly, had irl personal catalysts rather than just a general holdover of ill will from the 2000s. there are so many random little times one or both of them casually mentioned they were in contact, and any one of those instances can be disregarded, but when considered in retrospect from a collective standpoint..... AWFULLY DAMNING!!!

lots more to say about all of this actually, every point you've made is legit af and could be expounded upon for a hundred years, but it's midnight and im coming down with a flu (punishment for some kind of hubris im sure), so. thank you for all of this and goodnight 🙏

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

I may have come across as a prude in my other post about the portrayal of sex in That 90s Show and I want to assure you I am not. I was once a sexually active teen myself who had sexually active friends, but still the way they are so casual about it is extremely unrelatable to me. The characters in That 70s Show were also sexually active sooner or later but their arcs were just so much more relatable and true to life in my opinion. And I think that speaks of a bigger trend of how media has changed.

If you watch old shows from 90s and 00s, they are just overall more innocent and wholesome? Maybe sometimes too innocent (*cough* Gilmore Girls*cough*) but overall they just portray the awkwardness and sweetness of it much better. I know there were some problematic storylines that I am glad were buried since then like the whole student-teacher thing (even though I heard Riverdale did it in 2016?) overall I think those shows portrayed teendom better. Nowadays it seems like everything is for shock value and just to create discourse around the show. Think of Seth and Summer's awkward first time on The OC. Or Kelso and Jackie's/Donna and Eric's bad first times on That 70s Show. Blair's drunken first time with an asshole that she regrets at first on Gossip Girl.

(Obviously there were times when these storylines were too prudish to the point it was unrealistic. Aforementioned Gilmore Girls come to mind where Rory had a two year relationship where the furthest they got was kissing with tongue, Dawson's Creek where Joey pondered for months if she should lose her virginity to her long term boyfriend who she had known her whole life and her dilemma was juxtaposed with Dawson's dilemma about whether to unplug a dying guy from his life support, The Secret Life of American Teenager where Amy got pregnant on her first time and Grace's dad died in a plane crash after hers. Then there was the unhinged moment in One Tree Hill where Haley and Nathan got married in high school to be able to have sex. No I am not talking about these specifically.)

Compare that to how Kat was mocked for being a virgin at *gasp* 16 on Euphoria and told she needs to "catch a dick" so she ends up sleeping with an asshole who records it, puts it on PornHub and makes her famous, which prompts her to start making money by doing porn. She's not the only one from her class too, Maddy, Jules and Cassie are all 16-17 year old girls that also have sex tapes of them. Maddy also casually lost her virginity at 14 to a 40 year old man put she was "totally in control". Jules has been sleeping with random grown men from dating apps since she turned 16. Maddy also jumps into the pool at a party with a college boy and starts having sex with him/pretending to be having sex with him in front of everyone and it's not even the most scandalous thing to happen at that party. See how that seems to be made just for shock value with no substance or attempt at relatability?

It's similar with That 70s Show vs That 90s Show- on the former the characters were sexually active but there was that awkwardness about it whereas on That 90s Show apart from Leia everyone seems super experienced, confident and like they've been having sex for years despite the fact that they are even younger that the characters on That 70s Show. Everyone even found it weird that Leia didn't have a first kiss yet at the age of 15 and took her to the mall to kiss a random guy. I really wish the point of that episode was "don't feel pressured and take your time" but no instead that episode ended with Leia literally forcing herself on a guy while he was working just so she can have her first kiss over with. What kind of message is that sending? That 90s Show characters when it comes to sex seem to have the experience of the average college student, not the average sophomore/junior in high school. Same can be said about Euphoria.

"But teen shows have always pushed the envelope" well yes and the aforementioned Gossip Girl and Skins come to mind but even then, it wasn't just constant meaningless fucking everyone all the time. Similarly to Euphoria, on the first episode of Skins, Tony tells Sid that he needs to lose his virginity ASAP because he's almost 17 and it's "embarrassing". Yet Sid doesn't succumb to the pressure and doesn't do it just because. It is implied he only does it once he is in a relationship with Cassie. And he is not even the only character who is a virgin in that generation, there is also Anwar who also loses it when it feels right not because he is pressured to. Yes there are characters that are sexually active (although it is more over the top than in real life) but also virgins, and that is more true to life than Kat being the only virgin left in the entire high school. I even know some people in 2nd or 3rd year of college who are virgins and that's okay. No one really shames them and tells them that they need to "catch a dick asap" and if someone does then they're an asshole.

However I will say that Never Have I Ever is one new show that did it right.

[cowboylikeyouu]

For the WIP game, No Other shade of blue but you, please!

oh my, i completely forgot the wip game ahahah sorry for the wait, here you go:

i started working on this THREE YEARS AGO???? it's not even THAT long, but i always forget it exists for like 6 months before writing another 1000 words and then forgetting it again.

the premise is basically: steve & tony had a Thing™ during that period when pepper & tony had broken up, but then civil war happened and yeah. pepper & tony get back together, get married, have morgan, endgame happens as usual BUT: instead of tony, pepper dies. which is. . . cruel, i know, but hey, she was canonically part of the final battle so in theory she could've been the one to get the stones & do the snap lol. anyways, then it's just a lot of depressed tony taking care of morgan and refusing to accept help, until he caves in and calls up steve one day and yeah, then they have their very very slow getting back together arc, while they're raising morgan. there're gonna be a lot of shenanigans with other characters bc tony's slowly letting other people back in his life, so it's actually just gonna be a shit ton of avengers family feels. i also have a fully planned out winterhawk spin-off to this fic lol. idk if i'll ever finish writing it tho, i have about 15k and most of it was originally written in german. i DID translate it and i wrote some of the later stuff in english, but i'm still SUPER unhappy with it. i love my german writing SO MUCH, but it tends to lose its flow when i translate it :/

here's a small excerpt, the grammar might suck as well, my english skills were even poorer back then than they are now lmao

Steve ignored his words and pulled out a burner phone instead, placing it on the counter next to Tony. Only one number was registered in it. Tony paused momentarily and regarded the phone with an unreadable look before swallowing hard and turning back to his plate.  "Haven't we been through this already, Cap?" He said quietly as if his voice would fail him if he spoke louder.  The movements of his hand holding the sponge became increasingly erratic, and Steve couldn't stand it anymore. Without thinking much, he put one hand on Tony's arm in an attempt to soothe him and stop his movements before using his other hand to carefully pull the plate from his clenched fingers and place it on the towel next to the sink. This time, Tony didn't even try to free himself from Steve's grip. "Maybe you're gonna use it this time," Steve responded and pushed the phone a little closer to Tony with his free hand.  Tony looked up from the phone to meet Steve's eyes, a sad smile on his lips. "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think you and I were on such good terms the first time," he said, even more quiet than earlier.  Brown eyes that stirred so much more in Steve than he would ever admit stared into his, and for a moment, it felt like 2016 all over again. Like the time when Pepper and Tony had broken up due to personal reasons, the time when Steve had spent his days in Tony's building and his nights in Tony's bed, wasting time on kisses and sex and late-night promises. Like that brief, dreamlike period when everything had been okay for a few months. The calm before the storm that the Sokovia accords brought to their lives and their relationship. Then Tony looked away, and the moment shattered.  Steve found himself back in the present, where Tony and Pepper were no longer together because Pepper was simply no longer there, where the peaceful intimacy existed only in memory, and where the events in Leipzig and Siberia and the months without contact that followed continued to stand between them like an impassable wall. Steve didn't regret siding with Bucky at the time. He didn't regret wanting to protect his best friend, who had returned after seventy years, he’d do it again without thinking twice. But he regretted the naturalness with which he had thrown away Tony and all they had in the months before. He regretted more than anything not giving a rational thought to find a compromise that would allow him to keep them both in his life.

send me more asks about my wips if u want !!

[scarletwix]

request: Jasico old men couple where they've been together for decades and now they're complaining about arthritis

Jasico nation I knew you'd come through!!

A/N: Have 1,320 words of pure, unmitigated sap-itude. Initially this was going to be a couple little scenes that all started with the same question, to highlight their lives together.... but it got away from me a bit in the middle there, ngl. There's truly minimal complaining (about arthritis or otherwise) tbh, not because they wouldn't but because the spirit of fluffy jasico possessed me, and since this is my first time writing for them since 2016(?????) I thought I'd just see where it took me. Enjoy!

"Did you ever think we'd make it this far?" Jason asked Nico, still beaming, still holding tight to Nico's hand, despite the fact that Nico knows his palms are sweaty and have to be gross by now. Nico's lips still burned from the kiss that Jason had bestowed upon him after Nico's (admittedly brash and over-the-top) confession. (He hadn't wanted to look nervous. He hadn't wanted to chicken out. Jason had taken his hands to stop them from shaking anyway.)

"No," Nico admitted. He'd been braced for rejection, anticipated the taste of it like blood on his tongue and been surprised when he was met with the smile on Jason's lips pressed to his instead.

"I..." Jason began, but he fell silent, unable to finish the sentence as his hands trembled at his side. Nico didn't answer him. He knew that some questions were rhetorical, some sentences were too big to articulate, and that some things didn't need to be said aloud.

He let Jason lean on him as they watched the reconstruction of New Rome. He pressed a kiss to Jason's temple, where laurels might have sat, in another life.

~~~

"Did you ever think we'd get to see something like this?" Jason asked, the joy in his voice tangible as Nico let his boyfriend spin him around the dance floor.

"Of course," Nico scoffed, as if he hadn't spent his whole life waiting for the knowledge that his friends had died. Waiting for the moment that he could feel their souls enter his father's realm.

He'd never thought he'd get to walk someone he loved down the aisle, never thought he'd cry at anyone's wedding, because for the longest time, he hadn't thought any of them would live that long. Even while helping plan the whole thing, while learning how to dance with an increasingly-flustered and clumsy Jason at his side.

He gripped Jason's shoulders a little more tightly when Jason swung him back into the circle of his arms. Outwardly, it appeared that he was holding on to keep his balance, but truthfully, the solid weight of Jason's shoulders under his hands grounded him.

He did as his therapist had bid and tried to bid the anxiety farewell, let it slip from his mind. He could always panic later, he reminded himself. He was determined to enjoy the night.

~~~

"I never thought, when I first met you, that you would turn out to be the love of my life," Jason was saying, both of Nico's hands in his.

Nico thought back to the boy that he'd been at fifteen. Gaunt and gangly and lonely enough to hurt, his very presence a weapon of it's own.

That had been before Hazel, really. Before Jason or Will or Leo, even, had dulled the edges of his loneliness and helped him remember how nice it had been, once upon a time, to have people.

He tried to think of how he would react, to meet that boy now.

"Bit of an oversight, on your part," he said, instead of any of that.

Jason snorted a laugh. "I'm - stop it, you're interrupting my speech," he protested. with no real heat behind the words.

"My bad," Nico said solemnly, "I'm listening, I swear," he schooled his features into a perfectly blank mask. "How's this?"

Jason pressed Nico's knuckles to his forehead, their fingers still twined together, as if staving off a headache.

"Insufferable," he said, but there was still a laugh wrapped around his voice. "But I love you anyway."

"Very generous of you," Nico felt the corners of his lips twitch at the sound of the word 'love,' the way that they always did.

"Very generous," Jason agreed. "I don't think anyone else could handle it."

Nico felt his face soften into a smile. Jason was clearly nervous, or he might have noticed the way that his smile widened a bit more. He nearly said 'you're absolutely right,' and let Jason have this, but...

He'd never get an opportunity like this again. Nico heaved a sigh, careful to make sure his smile didn't fade, so Jason's anxiety wouldn't have time to rise.

"Guess you'll just have to marry me, then."

"Guess s-what?" Jason squawked. Nico couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled up in his throat. He felt his shoulders begin to shake with it. "Did you--" Jason spluttered, half outraged, half delighted, "Did you just hijack my proposal?"

Nico scoffed, though it was undermined quite a bit by the fact that he was still grinning from ear to ear, "Your proposal? I think you'll find that I just proposed to you."

To emphasize this point, Nico reached into his pocket for the ring that he'd asked Leo to help him make months ago. He held it up in the negligible space between them and waited for the shock to wear off and the gears to turn in Jason's head.

The awestruck look on Jason's face as he took in the sight of the ring was well worth the hours bickering with Leo about the design. And the hours upon hours of persuading Leo that no, really, Jason's engagement ring did not need special features.

Jason's cheeks flushed a bright, brilliant scarlet, and he hid his face in Nico's shoulder.

"Is that a yes?" Nico asked, shoving down the fluttering unsure voice that still tried to claw at him, sometimes.

"Of course it's a yes," Jason responded, his voice muffled by Nico's sweater. He sounded nearly offended that Nico felt the need to clarify.

"Hand," Nico demanded, his satisfaction at his victory suddenly overshadowed by the level of sheer joy he was experiencing.

Jason raised his hand, turning his head so he could watch as Nico slid the ring onto the appropriate finger.

He allowed himself a moment to be an absolute sap, safe in the knowledge that they were alone, and pressed a kiss to Jason's new accessory.

"Now," Nico said, unwilling to let it go entirely, "what was it you wanted to ask me?"

~~~

Nico smiled, looking out over their balcony. In the distance, if he squinted, he thought he could see the light from the sunset glinting off of the Campanile de San Marco.

"Need your glasses?" Jason teased, as if his own eyes hadn't gotten gradually worse, until his lenses were nearly as thick as Nico's pinky finger.

"I'm not reading, I'm enjoying the view."

Jason rose, albeit slowly, to join him. A few of his joints popped as he stood and Nico grimaced in sympathy.

"It is beautiful," Jason agreed. When he leaned on the banister, the sunset caught his hair. For a moment, it was the bright, burnished gold of his youth. For a moment, all Nico could see was the bright young man who had saved his life and demanded nothing but his friendship in return. "I'm glad you talked me into coming here."

"Ah, the water levels are still too high," Nico griped, if only because it was his response every time. "I wish you could have seen it before it began to really sink." Entire sidewalks he had walked in his childhood were gone, either lost beneath the water or deemed too dangerous to cross. Some things remained. Some things were new.

""Did you ever think we'd get this much time?" Nico asked, without really meaning to. Jason's face split into a wide smile.

"Not at all," he admitted. He reached out and took Nico's hand, running his thumb over the ring Nico still wore, despite the fact that his knuckles had warped with age, and if he ever wanted to take it off, now, they'd have to cut it off of him. He'd never admit that he liked the sound of that, particularly because from the moment Jason had put it on him, he'd never wanted to take it off. "But I'm glad we did."

[fox-bright]

So much fucking One Piece *everywhere* online.

TW: sexual assault, domestic abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, drug use, suicide

When I was in my mid-twenties I dated a serial rapist. Lived with him, in fact, attended the same dojo, and we talked sometimes about marriage. I loved him very much.

He was superbly charismatic, which is how he got away with many bad things. He had a lot of friends, and a lot of defenders, because it was so difficult to believe him capable of the things he did--and because he was good at making friends. Good at bringing people together, at seeing the edges where they'd fit. He was a little goofy, came off occasionally as kind of stupid and almost always as generally harmless, and many of the people he introduced to each other will probably be friends for the rest of their lives.

It was also amusing to him, on occasion, to drive a friend or girlfriend to near-suicide. "If one of them does it, I can use that story later to make people sorry for me," he said, at the end of everything when he was finally willing to be honest with me. When he knew that no one else would believe me, and he could reveal himself plainly with no threat to himself.

In 2016, years after our horrific breakup, he took a probably miscalculated (or even uncalculated) dose of a designer psilocin prodrug without a spotter, and while under its influence he stabbed himself several dozen times. The New York Post, salacious rag that it is, suggested that his death might have been part of a "pagan ritual." I thought for some time that it had been a murder, that some family member of one of his victims had decided to take a bit of evil out of the world. But it was just him being as stupid and arrogant as he always was, and thinking, as he always did, that he was invincible.

(A mutual acquaintance said that they thought possibly he got so high he could hear his conscience for the first time in his entire life, and took the honorable way out.)

(It does not escape me that if that is the case, he still managed to do it in the nastiest, messiest, most selfish way possible, as his wife came home that evening and found him.)

I was at a weekend house party a year or so after he killed himself, and another person there didn't know that I was that Gen, the one he still talked about until he killed himself--but I knew who she was, a lover-after-me. She was openly grieving, and I gave her cupcakes and silently wished her well, and avoided all conversation of him. At the end of that party our host--who had been dancing the same conversational waltz all weekend as I had--sank tiredly into the couch beside me, rubbed their face, let out an exhausted giggle. "I'm just so glad he's dead." they said.

It's been nearly fifteen years since the breakup, and most of eight years since he died. My life is entirely transformed, though I probably am not. I'm in a lot less pain, and I take a lot less shit; it would be difficult for one such as him to prey on me now, I think. But at the core I doubt I am much different.

While he lived, his favorite thing in the world, his biggest fandom, was One Piece. He was overenthusiastic about it, easily made giddy. A sincere fanboy, in way that like so many of his other behaviors was somehow endearing.

It's very weird this week to keep being reminded of him, and know how happy he'd be to get to see it happening.

I keep remembering being at the Saturday-night dance at a big anime convention in 2007 or so, throwing ourselves gasping out the double doors to sit in the cool hallway outside the ballroom and gasp for a few minutes. We were lying on the carpet fanning each other and laughing quietly when the opening notes of a dance remix of Folder 5's "Believe" came on, and his face just lit. And we hurled ourselves to our feet and back inside to dance until we were exhausted.

All of the ads and incessant saturation of One Piece live action stuff right now isn't what I'd call triggery, not the way some other things still are, but it...aches. A little. To be reminded, again, that he could have been wonderful, and instead he was a monster, but there were still parts of him capable of childlike joy without artifice. And those parts are lost with all the rest of it.

There isn't any point to writing this. I'm tired and sad today, and should probably bake something or work on a quilt, some thing to do with my hands and remind me of my place as part of the world. We do go on, those of us who can, and I suppose that's all there is to it.

[td-tbbg-official]

VICKIE!!! a lot of questions in one buuut bare with me i love her so much already

how is life with the band? you four still making the best of the celebrity lifestyle? how are the fans treating you?

when did you publicly come out? how did the media take it?

now that you're coming back on the show, are you hoping to rekindle an old flame with a certain someone? 👀

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot of questions indeed, haha!

“The boys and I are still doing very well, both as a band and as a friend group. The fans are great too! They’ve supported us along a very long way, and I can’t just not be thankful for that.

“As for coming out… It was kind of complicated. Figuring yourself out while you’re a celebrity is not fun, I’ll tell you that much. It did give me some courage that I was the last one of the group to do it, though. Trent and Justin started dating a while after World Tour, and they publicly announced it years later – what was it, like, 2010? They were bold, I’ll give them that. And in 2013, news came out that Cody was trans; though, those only got out because he was outed at a concert… Which is a long story.

“Fast forward to 2016, and you’ve got all sorts of queer terms coming out. At first, I identified as genderfluid, but I never told anyone except the boys. I abandoned it when I realized I was really a woman, but still never told fans or family. I said they’d have to find out the hard way – much after my transition.

“So, that was said and done. I went on HRT in 2019 and I underwent speech therapy to try changing my voice, which left some fans wondering, but they generally kept quiet. I was somewhat glad when the pandemic hit because we could cancel our shows and I’d get all the time needed to do my so-called ‘transformation’ behind the scenes.

“We only started doing tours and shows again in 2022, and, by God, that was hilarious. I remember it like it was yesterday: our first show, I just didn’t come on stage for the first songs, and people were shouting for me, like, ‘Where’s Harold? Where’s Harold?’. Cody, the little shit, was dying laughing, and Trent came up all somber like, ‘He died’. I’m not even kidding, the guy actually said I died. I cracked up backstage, and everyone went kind of silent, like, ‘Oh my God, no, he’s joking, he’s gotta be’.

“And then I came out. Literally and in the queer sense. I came from backstage, and got on the stage, and Trent said ‘But we have Vickie now, so it’s all good’, and everyone just looked kind of confused until it just clicked. And so many people started cheering; some started booing, those were quickly escorted outside, I mean, hello, we’re a band full of queers, you didn’t expect me to turn out cishet, surely?

“We came up with more songs after that, many of them based on my experience as a trans woman, and Cody and I’s experiences as trans people in general, we just took a much queerer turn once we knew we could just do it. It’s liberating, to be able to finally be so open about it.

“And for that last question… I’m guessing you mean Leshawna? I mean… Heh… Yeah, I’d like to, like… Get to know her again, see what she’s been up to, but I’m not sure she’s exactly interested in dating me, or anything. I-I mean—not that I’m interested in her in that sense! That would be weird! I haven’t been… thinking about her daily, or anything, wondering where she’s at in life, how she’s doing—nothing like that! Never! Heh! Is it—is it hot in here? Hey, Cody, can you turn on the AC? I think I’m done with the ask, haha…”

coming soon to an AO3 near you.

questions, concerns, suggestions to be deposited in the ask box.

TD: TBBG is written by @canonically47. the blog is entirely run by the writer.

!!! reblogs > likes !!!

[louisupdates]

COSMOPOLITAN

BY FRANCESCA SCRIMIZZI (28.11)

(translated into English)

Looking over the stairs of a building in Corso Matteotti in Milan, two steps are enough for me to appreciate a confused and amused echo of fresh voices thundering in my direction. It approaches like a round hum that follows the structure of the stairs. It presses on regardless of my presence, whizzing fast next to me while I remain motionless on a quay. I realize, only later, that these are fans of Tomlinson, with autographs of their favorite singer in hand, obtained after who knows how many dreams and waits. Time stretching back to 2010, the year in which Doncaster's promising footballer presented himself to X-Factor UK, [Louis] did not pass the auditions but rather than be accompanied to the door, he was invited by Nicole Scherzinger, guest judge of that edition, to take part in a group in the company of other boys from different corners of the UK whose names will be destined to resonate. As it ironically turned out, One Direction did not win the reality show, but will eventually be confirmed to be the flagship product of the talent show by far, as were Måneskin, the great second place winner of the eleventh edition of XF Italia and now on the podium of the world. Within a short time: 50 million albums sold, titles such as Top New Artist according to Billboard, four BAFTAs, and in 2014, according to a list drawn up by The Sunday Times, One D would be the richest boy band in the history of British music, with a fortune of about £14 million each, receipts from both music and the sale of highly demanded merch.

But like any story, whether it's of love or professional intent it matters not, the breaking point came: in 2015 Malik left the band, and in March 2016 the rumors of the alleged dissolution of the band found confirmation, with the members announcing that they are taking a break until a date to-be-determined. From here the solo careers blossom, with Tomlinson founding the independent record label Triple Strings - (from which he was released in 2020) - with Steve Aoki - the single "Just Hold On". From here on, several tracks followed, such as the singles "Just like You" and "Miss You", and two albums, Walls and Faith In Future, released in November 2022. Meanwhile, Louis’ private life also was percolating, with the birth of a son to American fashion designer Briana Jungwirth, and two major losses, of his mother, who was struggling for months with leukemia, and sister Félicité, who died from a cardiac arrest at age 18. I spent an important time interviewing the 30-year-old boy whose eyes shine and who now comes straight at me, welcoming, melancholic, happy. This is Louis Tomlinson, an artist with a never-never-forgotten past and a bright future that is told through some titles from his new album.

Faith in the Future. An eloquent name. Where did it come from?

'I already had the title of the album in mind before anything else. So it dictated the mood to what I wanted to say, create. You usually write a few songs before thinking about the title of the album, but it was a nice way to do it, different, compelling. It gave me a very clear path of what I wanted to say, in terms of the intentions of the album. I was then trying to create something that would be nice to hear live since fans’ reaction to the past shows were incredible, surprisingly welcoming. Now I want to match these feelings, this enthusiasm, I would like to double that extraordinary feeling.'

Bigger Than Me. At the moment, what’s bigger than you and what do you want to overcome?

'During the lockdown I stopped to think and reflected on my career as a whole, thinking about the shows, songs and the meaning they can have for other people. And for a long time it was not easy to realize the impact this has had on people's lives. There were moments when I was on stage and it all looked bigger than me. In those moments a lot of things go through my mind. I think about trying to do everything right and being a perfectionist and everything. But when I get off the stage every night, I have the feeling that, thankfully, most of the people present had a nice evening. So, despite whatever crosses my mind, it's very easy to be too analytical as an artist and performer. And actually all of this is much bigger than what happens in my head.'

What would you recommend to a person who, like you, stops too much to think? Where and how can this virtuous circle be interrupted?

'I would say try to take every day as it comes, trying to live the moment a little. Because it's very easy to get caught up in the anxiety of the unknown. But if you have even a shred of faith in that future, everything will be fine.'

Chicago. What are the cities that make you feel at home?

'No place is like Doncaster, where I grew up. I spend a lot of time in Los Angeles. My son lives there, so of course there is that feeling of home due to having an important person in a very specific place. A place I always go back to, then, for whatever reason, is Barcelona. I had some good experiences there, good times. I think it's a fantastic city. I've never lived there, but I go through it often and will continue to do so.’

The Greatest. What's the song of your life, the one you always come back to?

‘Instinctively I would tell you ‘Super Sonic’ by Oasis.’

What about your biggest fear?

‘Some time ago I would have told you the fear of getting old. Now that I'm more mature, I would say it's that I can't make more music. It's all I have, everything I can do.’

And the greatest hope for the future?

‘To continue to do live music shows, meet my fans, engage in tours around the world.’

The greatest advice you can give to those who would like to become an artist, tomorrow.

‘I think when you start working as an artist it can be difficult to understand who you are specifically. This is a process, but it is much easier to work backwards starting from who you are not. And it's something I've always found very powerful: working backwards in this way. It gives you a clearer image of who you are as an individual and as an artist.'

And you, what are you not?

‘An asshole. I think. I hope!’

[zeroducks-2]

That scene where Slade is about to beat Grant with his belt, in the night, in middle of some forest, nonchalantly smoking a cigarette was horrible and broke something in me tbh. It wasn't about 'discipline' more like Slade wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp because he was annoyed that Grant lives and exists in the first place. It ruined the whole 2016 run for me and also made other scenes completely invalid. Why did Slade wanted to avenge Grant later on? Why did he go back in time and hugged Grant like he's Slade's most precious person in the world??? Where. did. it. come. from???? There was this family photo of Slade with his sons, where Slade looks very pissed off that he has to even be there. And then I was thinking "okay, there has to be some sort of explanation. Surely there will be at least some hint why Slade has such negative emotions towards them. Maybe Addie did want children and Slade just,, went with it?? or something??" Nah. There was no explanation. Slade goes from despising his sons to absolutely loving them in a milisecond. There is no character arc. Just one big mess. In conclusion: fanfics>>>>>>>canon. fuck Priest 0/10

Again I think this problem stems from a lack of depth the character suffers from in Priest's run, because as you say, we see one thing and then a completely different one and they feel irreconcilable.

Now - and I don't want to make any moral judgement of Slade or his actions and I'm talking from a purely logical, narrative standpoint, just to be completely clear - I do think that if we had some sort of explanation (like why Slade has negative emotions towards his kids), and also if we could see how he went from point A (being wildly abusive, not giving a shit) to point B (grieving Grant, hugging him like that, clearly crying under the mask while calling him son as he's dead in his arms) we'd be able to contextualize Slade's actions.

I'll make you an example. Slade didn't want kids and neither did Adeline, they were born just because they didn't use precautions and it happened. Slade went from mildly annoyed when they were small to full on using them like recipients of his own issues, and therefore we get that scene in the forest.

Then the incident with Joseph happened, when he got his throat sliced because Slade called the bluff, and almost died. AT THAT POINT Slade understands that this kid is important to him - not just a nuisance, a fastidious presence in his life, but someone he truly cares about. And same goes for Grant, even if he's already ran away at this point.

Slade came from an abusive household, enrolled in the military where he learned to kill people and to employ physical violence, and he's only ever loved only two people (Billy and Addie) his whole life. The idea of having kids and LOVING them might have been simply unacceptable to him; it made him feel weak, reminded him of his own abusive father, made him feel trapped in a situation that he hated (that of The Good Husband™), which is why he turned so violent in the inability to deal with his own emotions. But then Joseph almost dies, and it's HIS FAULT, and he gets a cold shower and realizes that he does care but it's too late - Grant has already been brainwashed by HIVE and the next thing that happens is that he dies between Slade's arms, underlining just how much Slade failed and caused his own sons' death and muteness.

I came up with this from the very top of my head and might still be not enough, but I hope you get what I mean when I say that it's the lack of care these writers use when handling the characters that causes the major issues. I too don't buy Slade's genuine and human grief about Grant's death if the last thing I saw was that Slade was about to beat him to a bloody pulp, looking like it was an average Tuesday night.

We're just supposed to accept everything that happens and every choice the characters make, despite there's very little sense of continuity (or sense at all) to them, and that's very frustrating.

[nothingunrealistic]

When the propulsive financial drama “Billions” premiered in 2016, its core premise centered on the vicious blood feud between U.S Atty. Chuck Rhoades and billionaire hedge fund king Bobby “Axe” Axelrod. The hatred between the two men was so fierce it was almost assured that only one man would be left standing at the end. But the climactic moment of the series finale showcased a warm handshake between Rhoades (Paul Giamatti) and Axelrod (Damian Lewis) as they reflected how their vicious duel had radically changed them both and made them better men. The moment was unexpected but also inevitable. The former foes had joined forces this final season to combat their common enemy — Michael “Mike” Prince (Corey Stoll), a billionaire who was not as brash as Axelrod but who unveiled a sinister hunger for power as he launched his candidacy to become president. The complicated plot by Rhoades and Axelrod to take down Prince was flavored by the head-spinning double-and triple-crosses that have made “Billions” one of Showtime’s biggest hits. Highlighting the final season was the return of Lewis, who left the show at the end of the fifth season to spend more time with his family in England. His wife, actor Helen McCrory, died of cancer in April 2021. Executive producers Brian Koppelman and David Levien, who created the show with financial journalist Andrew Ross Sorkin, discussed that final handshake, Lewis’ return and whether Prince was a variation of former President Donald Trump. This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

When the series premiered, it seemed to be leaning toward who would get destroyed first — Rhoades or Axelrod. Did you know at that time how the drama would eventually end? Levien: I would love to say that when we started the show that we knew where it was going to end, seven seasons and 84 episodes later. But we just didn’t have that kind of master plan. Koppelman: We didn’t know the Mike Prince part in the beginning. But what we did know was that we wanted to keep our eyes open and our ears open, so that as the show went on, we would still understand the mores of how people in the stride of the show mythologized themselves. We have a new kind of billionaire, [one] who wants to present themselves as having concerns for the holistic nature of the world and the harm that money can do. That new rhetoric was quite different from Axe. There was a scene where Axe says, “Come on, guys like us are monsters.” And Prince says, “Well, but I’m a cuddly monster.” Anyone who tells you they’re cuddly monsters is not, right? Once we had that piece in there. we understood then the kind of ending we might be marching toward. Levien: Damian Lewis left the show for a little while because of some difficult circumstances in his life. But then, when he was able to come back, it gave us a chance to have a fresh attack on this ending. Koppelman: The character Mike Prince really breathed life into us. We’re seeing these characters who think they are better Caesars. We wanted to continue the story about them. When we realized we could have Bobby Axelrod come back, it allowed us to set up an ending for obsessive “Billions” fans to build something satisfying.

Still, it’s probably startling for fans to see Rhoades and Axe shaking hands at the end. Levien: Yes, they come to a place of grudging mutual respect. There was a more dangerous enemy that seemed to threaten the well-being of everybody on the planet. That was something that could unify them temporarily. After that, they say they are going to go back to doing what they do. All bets are off. So it’s possible they will find themselves at odds again. Koppelman: One thing we discovered as we were going is that there was a truism about them early on — each of them had reason to be revealed onto themselves, and to not lie to themselves. In Prince, they both saw someone who perhaps lied to himself in the mythologizing. So maybe Bobby and Axe saw in each other something slightly more pure.

It was a nice touch to reference Blind Faith, the supergroup fronted by Steve Winwood and Eric Clapton that recorded one album and then had a big breakup. Koppelman: Yes. This idea that people of diverse talents can come together and create something meaningful, recognize that, and then go their separate ways — that felt real and true for us. We felt we earned that particular handshake.

Is the Mike Prince character your commentary on Donald Trump? Koppelman: I don’t think it’s for us to say. We put it out there. We let Mike Prince articulate why he thinks he should be the leader of the free world and the rest of the world. He talks about his unique capacity to be the one person who knows when to first strike with nukes. None of it strains credulity. It’s for the viewers to figure out whether it rings of stuff that is in the current world.

Did you know that Damian Lewis would come back for the final season? Koppelman: He did tell us before he left that he would come back for the final season, whenever that was, but it was unspecified how many episodes. The opportunity to have him for half a season was just awesome.

This season also saw the return of some great “Billions” villains, including John Malkovich as crafty Russian oligarch Grigor Andolov and Clancy Brown as U.S. Atty. Gen. Waylon Jeffcoat. Levien: We wanted to make this season for people who really loved the show, and for ourselves. We wanted to see these characters that we had in our hearts one more time.

The other element that evolved was how the series also had this ensemble cast of outrageous and wacky characters who worked at the hedge fund. Levien: We had such a deep bench of great actors. Each one of them would take a character that didn’t have a lot of real estate and make them indelible in a short amount of time.

So what’s next? I know it’s hard to say now. But in a perfect world, will there be more of the “Billions” universe? Koppelman: This kind of world and these kinds of characters — very capable people who think they have all the answers and who might overestimate that capability, gamblers who put it all on the line — they fascinate us. That’s the area that we’re drawn to, and I’m sure we’ll continue working in it in some way. Levien: It’s been an incredible experience doing this show. It’s been the most singular run of our entire career. An amazing ride. Koppelman: We never took it for granted for a second.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Re-Watch of 5x15, Try - Part 1

All right, Everyone. We still don't have much new material, and probably won't for a while. I'm going to give you some convos between me and my fellow theorists this week, and I'll try to do some re-watching this next week so we can have more discussions.

Gotta love the off-season. (Not. ;D) We have to find a way to tide ourselves over until the next installment of the TWDU starts!

@galadrieljones:

Okay, anyway, so I watched “Try” the other night, just because it’s a good episode, and I missed it. I was sort of missing Daryl when he used to, idk, try? And when he was young and emotional and coming down from what happened with Beth.

His early scenes with Aaron were so potent. I really wish they had developed their friendship a bit more. I realize they can’t do everything, but Aaron and Daryl in those last two episodes of season 5 are like one of my favorite BrOTPs of the series. When Daryl opens up to Aaron in that car in “Conquer,” I don’t think he’s ever really opened up to anyone like that since. I feel that season 5 was sort of the end of something for Daryl. Season 6 was really a black pill for him, and then season 7 was a steep, sad descent.

ANYWAY. So, I watched Try, and many things flooded back to me. I realize lots of these things were probably discussed in like 2016 or whatever, but it’s probably good to just dig things up every now and again to examine them with new context.

First, why did I go back to Try? Other than because I missed Daryl. I went back to it because we had talked about Morgan waking up in the backseat, which actually occurs in Conquer. I went into try, planning to watch Conquer as well but it got late, and I haven’t done that yet.

Anyway. So, Morgan in the backseat. I remembered how this happens again, in Fear 6.1. Fear 5.16 is a death fake-out for Morgan. He is left behind and Virginia “kills” him. But then he wakes up in 6.1, in the backseat of a limousine. He looks like death. We learn later that his life was saved by Dakota.

So, this stuck out to me, because it uses imagery from season 5 TWD to conjure resurrection imagery, just in Fear, via Morgan, a character who, the last time we see him prior to the backseat in Conquer, is at the church, in Coda, the episode when Beth “dies” on the cross.

In Coda, Morgan leaves a lucky rabbit’s foot (luck) as an offering, at Christ’s altar. He then bows his head to pray and starts laughing, as if he knows something we do not. In Conquer, eight episodes later, Morgan finds another lucky rabbit’s foot, after waking up in the backseat of a car.

This is karma, for the offering he left back in Georgia. He smiles once again in a knowing manner. It’s a sign that he’s close. He then meets a Wolf, another callback to the Hannah Fairlight magazine in Coda. We have to assume that Morgan is a part of the coda, even if his role is observational. Like, he’s a navigational symbol of some sort.

In 6.1 Fear “The End is the Beginning,” aka: another way of saying “Coda,” Morgan wakes up in the backseat of a limousine and looks like absolute shit. He looks very unwell. He has come back from the dead, and he is now being hunted, like prey. He’s not in Virginia, but his friends are, aka: they’re in Virginia’s compound, essentially being held hostage.

The backseat of the car is now very clearly associated with resurrection, luck, and it calls back to Coda specifically, via the inventory of the scene. I know this is probably old news, but I just found it compelling. At the time TWD 6.16 aired, Fear season 6 was way far in the future, so the context of that whole thing changed. I know TD has long speculated that Beth was stashed in the backseat of a car, where she then “resurrected” and was rescued.

In that last photo above, you can see that there is also Still imagery, re: the bloody cocktail and wine glasses.

The walker that Morgan sees through the window also resembles Daryl, with a black leather vest on.

So anyway, this is why I went back to Try, to find this, eventually. Even if it's old news, I think the parallelism with Morgan waking up in the backseat twice, complete with a lot of imagery that calls back to Coda and even Still, is very compelling.

But okay so there was some stuff in Try I keyed into as well. Try is a very good episode, but very dark and difficult to watch at times. It is all about grief--grieving for Aiden, for Noah, for Beth, for Bob and Tyreese. Characters are acting out in erratic ways.

There are two dead blonds in Try:

This episode, I believe, foreshadows both Glenn and Carl’s deaths as extensions of Beth’s legacy and last vestiges of her presence in the A story. Glenn expresses grief for Noah to Rick, who says that Noah believed in this place (Alexandria), and so they have to try to make it work for HIM.

Essentially, this means they have to make it work, for BETH. Glenn tries to carry forth the values of acceptance and second chances that Beth espouses.

When Beth dies, Maggie, on the contrary, becomes bitter and ruthless. She brokers the deal with the Hilltop to take out the saviors at the satellite station. Glenn takes part reluctantly. Essentially, Glenn cannot survive the storyline. He doesn’t belong here. Meanwhile, Carl, who wears Rick’s hat, carries on Beth’s legacy as the New Sheriff in Town. He, too, dies foolishly upon a good deed.

The little scene with Carl and Enid, too, felt like a micro retelling of Still. The scene where they run in slow motion espouses Eden imagery—innocence and freedom.

Enid restarts time.

Carl and Enid hide from walkers in a “trunk.” This scene is even reused almost shot for shot in Find Me, with Daryl and Leah.

Cute little knife things:

Also in Try, the red imagery is very obvious, calling back to the red flag in Coda. The main example is the red balloon.

I didn’t notice before, but when we see the kid running with the red balloon, right before Rick melts down and beats the shit out of Pete and “sees red,” you can see that the red balloon is tied to a toy ship. Foreshadowing?

Also. In WHAWGO, there’s an entire truck full of mutilated torsos with heads. In Try, Daryl and Aaron happen upon many limbs. Each episode holds a clue to what’s missing, or “unseen,” in the other: Wolves.

In Conquer, the Wolves come with music. They come with Morgan. In JSS, they come to Alexandria per a loud horn, re: Gabriel’s horn, which heralds Christ’s return. Once again, I know very little of this is probably new, but it’s interesting and fun to revisit. Because now both Morgan AND Rick are being shown near/on ships, which are leading them across barriers and into unknown lands, re: the red balloon, red flags.

Speaking of the unknown, Michonne seems to have a framed picture of something that greatly resembles the Cthulhu in her bedroom, ie: Lovecraftian monsters.

They represent the sublime enormity of the unknown ahead. This appears just as she takes Noah’s shirt out of the laundry, the One One Pelican. The clock reads 6:30, re: 6.3 “Thank You,” in which Glenn “dies.” This episode is quite a gold mine!! I especially love Rick’s obsession with saving the blond girl from her abusive husband. Beth presents with huge cuts and bruises on her face in Coda.

Anyway, that went off the deep end, lol.

Hopefully it’s not all too repetitive, or it’s repetitive in an interesting way. I like how they are using Morgan to develop the Coda, even Still.

[vampire7595]

Saw a post on Reddit asking how long love lasts. It won't let me comment but I want to share my thoughts...

How long does love last?

For me it lasted 6 years. It was a whirlwind from the start. I will finally be divorced at the end of the year and it's both happy and sad. We got together in the spring of 2015; my mental health was horrible, I was living under the control of my toxic family and I hated my life. We were long distance at first living hundreds of miles apart in different states. I was 19. We talked every day and we're best friends before he asked me to be his girlfriend. To me he was everything, my first real relationship, my first love, first kiss, the person who took my virginity. We got engaged after a month together and I moved in with him and his family around Christmas that year. Left the only state I ever lived in and where almost all of my family was. My mom passed away shortly after I moved. I was destroyed. He helped me get through it and we got married in fall of 2016, I was 21 years old. In 2018 I got pregnant, we were over the moon and that following year we had a baby girl. My pregnancy was hard. My depression got really bad while pregnant and I started to have anxiety. We argued more and more. 2020 my dad died, and about a month later the word divorce was said for the first time. We recovered and later in 2020 I was pregnant again.

At this point we were always fighting. About parenting, money, things we buy, just anything. I was angry because of my depression and so irritable. We would have full on screaming matches. He didn't seem as excited when I told him I was pregnant with our 2nd child. I had found some things on his computer that were odd to me and he would take my phone while I was sleeping and check my messages. He flirted with other people, and I complained about him to one of my female friends. Still it caught me off guard when he asked for a divorce when I was not even halfway through the pregnancy. A few weeks later he moved out while our daughter and I stayed with his family. I was destroyed emotionally. I was barely holding it together for my daughter and would get so stressed and sad that I spent weeks expecting to have a miscarriage. I cried myself to sleep every single night for over a month straight, I was a shell of my former self.

About a month later he reached out claiming to want to fix things and come home. He did. We were intimate again multiple times and I felt like my life was getting back on track... it lasted about 5 days. He said he couldn't do it. I was devastated, felt betrayed and was mad at myself for being so weak to just fall back into his arms so easily. We slept in separate rooms and barely spoke. When our son was born I thought the love would surge back, it didn't.

Thinking about dating made me feel sick. My sense of who I am and my little self confidence was shattered, "Maybe if I was thinner he would've stayed", "I lost my one chance to have someone love me" and "I wish I could disappear" were thoughts in my head daily. He got a girlfriend that Christmas, I put up a front of being ok but still cried myself to sleep when I would sit and think about my life. 2022 he moved out early in the year, I got a cat to try and heal and I was on all the dating apps. In the fall my ex and I moved into a house together with his girlfriend and our kids.

This whole thing turned me from a hopeless romantic to a cynical person. I hate the idea of love, I will never be married again and any time I try to date I lose interest. Yet, I cry at the idea of dying alone, being lonely, I miss feeling loved. I am in this weird limbo. I feel stuck, I am a completely changed person now. I am a pessimist, I lost most of my sex drive, and I am still a little depressed with bad anxiety. No one will want to date me so there's no sense in even trying.

Love destroyed me as a person and I can't get that deep into depression again, it scared me. In 10 years I went from someone who loved the idea of love, had a strong bond with my mom and had hope for the future; to a single mom of 2, with no living parents, no dating life and barely any friends that I still talk to regularly.

[musiconanironingboard]

2 February 2023: What Is This, Some Kind of Joke?, Jack Logan with the Roach Brothers. (Failure Records & Tapes, 2016)

Jack Logan, an Athens, Georgia, singer-songwriter by way of Indiana and my old stomping grounds of Champaign-Urbana, Illinois, and probably half a dozen other places, was a sensation in my life in the mid-’90s into the Aughts when I lost sight of him after his 2005 album Nature’s Assembly Line. (Before they tore down the old Illini Inn bar in Champaign, evidence of Logan’s life there could be seen in a doodle he did on the men’s room wall. Those familiar with his artistic stylings could recognize it in an instant.) 

When Logan’s debut album Bulk arrived in 1994, it cause waves by being a two-CD of 42 songs. This was outrageous and audacious and people seemed to fall into two camps: those who found it obnoxious and yelled “you can’t do that!!” and people like my brother and I who found it astonishing and yelled “I didn’t know you could do that!!” We just had to hear it; knowing that Pete Buck endorsed it and was somehow involved helped assuage any sense of worry we may have had; remember, in 1994, you had to pay actual money to hear anything, and taking a chance on a two-disc set by a completely unknown dude was a real gamble. We loved Bulk and went on to love plenty of other Jack Logan albums. His 1998 duo album with Champaign-Urbana songwriter Jack Kimbell Little Private Angel is one of my all-time favorite albums by anybody. The Internet seemed to serve Logan well for a while; it seemed that every few months a new mail-order Logan album materialized. He did another album with Kimbell in 2002, Woodshedding, that didn’t click with me like its predecessor, and then a few years later in 2005 the aforementioned Nature’s Assembly Line materialized, and that was it. I eventually just assumed that he’d stopped releasing music.

Being that the dude once had a band dubbed the Compulsive Recorders, I have no doubt that Logan continued to make music left and right even if no releases came out of it. I don’t know how or where I stumbled upon it, but somewhere during the pandemic I was shocked to discover that in 2013 he did an album with a guy named Scott Baxendale called Bones in the Desert and it was available on a vinyl LP. I don’t think Logan made any vinyl LPs before this; the only vinyl I ever knew him to have released was the 1994 7″ EP Out of Whack. To get a copy of Bones in the Desert you had to fill out an ancient-looking form on the website of Scott Baxendale’s guitar store, the kind of exercise you expect will result in your $18 or whatever vanishing into thin air, but sure enough a while later I got my copy of Bones in the Desert. This page was on hiatus, so I never got to show it here. It wasn’t until last month that I finally got to hear it. I loved getting to hear a “new” Jack Logan album again. Logan sings everything; Baxendale, though co-billed, just plays guitar. A lot of the songs sounded just like the good old things I remember hearing back in the ’90s. I was thrilled to have it.

That would have been nice enough, but then I found out there is a second Logan LP from the ’10s, and that is what you see here. What Is This, Some Kind of Joke? is a collaboration with Jamie and Terry Rouch, two brothers I remember seeing on the credits of Logan albums in years past. In the liner notes, Logan explains knowing the brothers since the late ’70s, and even back then Jamie and Terry were compulsive recorders of their own, endlessly making original music at their home in rural Indiana. They called themselves the Roach Brothers, a subtle play on their last name, which is spelled slightly differently. Sadly, What Is This is not exactly an album of new material, for Jamie died of ALS in 2008. The album is built from instrumental tracks recorded by Jamie and Terry back around the time of Bulk, and Logan went back in 2014-15 and recorded new vocals over the tracks. As he says in the liner notes, “[O]f course it wasn’t really like we were recording with Jamie again. Sadly, those days are gone, but it’s really nice to hear that sound again.” I sure look forward to hearing this album. 

Above are the front and back covers. You’d think that’s a Jack Logan drawing on the front cover, but it was drawn by Jamie Rouch. The biker gal on the back, though, is credited to Logan.

Below are both sides of the insert. The insert art is attributed to Clayton Jarvis at Abom Designs. I can see why Logan gave the front cover to a Jamie Rouch drawing, but I’m surprised he didn’t draw the barn here himself.

Here are both labels, featuring a drawing by Jamie Rouch that’s flipped mirror-image style for side two.

Here is a glimpse of the colored wax.

Unless Discogs is missing something, this is the last physical Jack Logan release. There are three more full-length albums from 2019 to 2022, but they are all digital files and I’ve not yet determined where to track them down. I don’t traffic in digital files much at all, nor do I want to, but I am kind of curious. 

[ecodweeb]

John’s Bike: 2015 Zero SR

On Monday April 4, Gopher the Smart Car was delivered to me. On Wednesday April 6, I’d drive my husband in our electric car to buy his first electric vehicle: a 2015 Zero SR. I had no idea this bike would put me back in the seat after a crash I’d had 20 years previous.

Service Stats

In Service Date: 4/6/2016 In Service Mileage: 250 Out of Service Date: 9/23/2017 Out of Service Mileage: 5005 Service Life: 17 months,  4,755 miles

The History & Story

I was not always a motorcyclist. In fact when I met my husband I was very much against them, because I’d already flipped one and felt they were too dangerous. I had no idea that cleaning up the garage one day would change my opinion on motorcycles. While cleaning out the garage at his old townhouse, I came across a sealed turn signal lens cover that was too small for a car. I asked what this went to, and my husband stopped and dropped the box he was holding. He stared at the package I was holding between my fingers and took it from me never breaking eye contact with it. He then tells me this was the turn signal lens for Craig’s motorcycle. Ok, so, who is Craig?

Turns out Craig was one of his best friends in college. Craig died in a motorcycle accident. The day before Craig died, he and my husband skipped classes and hung out all day. The next day he was in the hospital after being struck by a vehicle. I’ll be honest I don’t know all the details, I do know that Craig was buried in Austin, TX and that my husband has a story about his funeral and the rental Mazda Miata he got from Enterprise to attend it.

So, great, I unearthed this rather sad memory. After I’m told this story my husband says that Craig had always said he’d teach him how to ride a motorcycle. I told him how I felt about that, but I could tell this wasn’t the last I’d hear about Craig and motorcycles. Not quite a year later, John shows me the website for Zero motorcycles and says he wants one of them to commute with. I was very, very much against it. However, over time, I caved in... happy spouse, happy life or some such saying. But we didn’t go straight for the Zero...

My husband started with a Sachs MadASS - think if Vespa and Ducati had a lovechild. It was a moped, but it looked like a motorcycle. I picked it up in Nashville, TN bringing back my dad’s old F150 and his 1986 VW Golf diesel to sell off for him. I forgot how long he rode that thing, but the next bike was a BMW 650CS, the short-lived City Sport commuter bike. I know he had this bike for a couple of years, and he was annoyed with it because he never took it on the highway (he had no reason to) and it didn’t like being used as a slow speed commuter. Often it would stall out going through intersections unless a friend of ours ran it on the highway once a month for us.

Fast forward to acquiring Gopher and saying goodbye to VW diesels. John had made friends with the sales guy at the local powersports dealer that sells Zeros, and that guy let him know they had a demo unit coming up for sale at a discount. Since I’d gone electric, it was only fitting that he did too. So we sold the BMW to someone from Maine who flew down and rode it back home and we hopped in the electric car to go buy an electric motorcycle.

I wish I could say that this bike was the end all be all, but it was really a headache from the start. We had numerous issues with the on board charger, the DC-DC converter, and I believe the main bike board failed on it at one point in time. There was a solid 4 months where we were riding the demo DSR instead of our SR because it was waiting on Zero to fix it. But more on that later.

During our time with it, both the powersports sales manager and my husband egged me on to ride it. I finally caved in because I felt it was like having a manual: you should be able to at least move it around your property. So I slowly started to learn to ride a two wheel vehicle again.

Fast forward to the EV Challenge the following year (2017). This event happened on the same day as “Tour de Brew,” a bicycle-based brewery tour that my husband was dying to attend. Because we had three vehicles to show (the BMW, the Smart, and the Zero motorcycle), we dropped the BMW off the night before with my husband’s bicycle stored in the back of it. The next morning I drove the Smart and he rode the Zero to the show grounds. In his haste to get to the starting line of the tour, he picked up the wrong Plug-in NC tote bag that had all the car keys in it instead of his bag with his wallet and gloves. I didn’t realize this until the end of the day, when it was time to pack up and leave.

I called him and he says he’s not far from campus -- over at a place off Lake Wheeler Rd, and that he thinks he left the key to the bike in its ignition. Sure enough, it was there. He said to just hop on it and ride over to pick up the car keys. I said no, I’m in toe shoes and shorts and I don’t know that your helmet will fit. He said well you can ride over here or you can wait two more hours for this to be over. I decided to see if his helmet would fit.

I hopped on the bike and said a small prayer, turned the key and twisted the throttle. Away I went -- I only needed to go 2 miles to get the keys. No big deal. I got there, got the keys, and then took a 10-mile detour to get back to the cars. Turns out, I really liked how the Zero rode. 

I loved it so much, I rode it home and promptly laid it down in my driveway, gently. There wasn’t much damage...

After this we started trading off on Tuesdays. I’d take the bike to work, he’d take my car to work and then his run club event afterwards. We did this for a short time before he decided that commuting with a motorcycle was stupid, and he wanted a convertible smart car instead. I started riding the bike on Tuesdays, and Sundays, and before long I was ready to try and do a long ride with it.

In 2017, Lidl opened their first store in Sanford, North Caroilina. I decided that I wanted to ride the Zero there -- it was 40 miles -- then ride it to my friend’s house in Durham. I remember I used my Pebble smart watch to assist with the turn by turn directions, and I was terrified on the few stretches of 55mph roads I had to be on. However I managed to make it to the Lidl, pick up some mixers, and head to my friend’s home in Durham unscathed. 

But sadly, the battery management on these early units was really problematic. A few weeks after this successful long ride, I had attended a meeting in Burlington with the Triad Auto Association on the Zero. On my way back home I was going to again stop at my friend’s home in Durham (this was my weekend thing for many years), and as I was 2 miles from his house the battery went from 7% to 0% and stranded me in Durham.

I managed to push the bike up into someone’s yard as the road I died on had no shoulder or sidewalk. The owner was super nice and he ran an extension cord out for me to let the bike charge -- thankfully it did. I called my husband who had went to get a small trailer so we could tow the bike, but by the time he got the rig there it was charged up enough to make it to our friend’s house. I rode it over there and plugged it in, and we left it overnight and picked it back up on Sunday. It was around this time that we began to really engage Zero with all the problems on the bike, and ultimate they ended up taking this bike back. That’s when I bought my 2017, which thankfully, was a problem-free machine...except for the overheating due to its non-cooled battery design.

[superconductivebean]

*first 4 notes of megalovania* not but what is this im thrown back to 2016

✍️✍️✍️✍️ Julia thoughts:

I seriously need to compose a large post about her misadventures because it is a crime to keep it all in the drafts at this point.

These thoughts are descriptive of trauma, careful.

An encounter like this would shake the life in her.

Battle's aftermath and followed poacher clearings took its toll on her mental health. She began to think that miniature world needed her efforts and although it was true around locals and that particular region of Highlands in general, as it is rather remote and from what I read about it, also its very own thing, the greater diorama had her in its corner and not even on its brightest spot.

While she was busy rescuing beasts with Poppy and trashing remaining camps with Natty, the main spotlight was taken by the Rookwood trial. The whole net of communication was busted, press ran amok, many families suddenly realised they made oopsie-fuckupsies, some of them were purebloods. Fun bit: not the Blacks, the House of Black didn't want to mingle with eh-eh the Continent; they had some too much beef with their French relatives at the time.

Julia's efforts weren't futile, mind, but her perception of them was the cause of her dour mood, nightmares, stay-ups, and it soon became a major concern to Aesop.

At this point of their story, their relationship wasn't yet mentor & mentee but a trust between someone who is lost and someone who knows how to escape. Aesop had a dangerous amount of influence over her, and that he was in her shoes once after Thea, his partner, died, did help to navigate her trauma, although he could only do so much at the sight of the wound that needed time to heal and him to look after it.

No one else knew anything about Julia's family -- something she desperately sought some days -- and her secrets weren't known to many people able to assess the gravity of her situation and give her pointers in life. I.e., what to do with that ancient magic, what's here it for her after the school is over for the summer, what the Ministry expects of her. So basically, at that time, he was a confidante to her.

If Aesop hadn't left to office, he would've been working with trainees and recruits. Moreover, he knows all too well how tempting a thought of casting a spell to resolve a trouble in an augenblick can be. But he would've been able to give feedback and pointers, to explain the scary bits, and to teach how to ignore the wand's urge to cast. Julia, however, was nor a trainee, neither a recruit; she was his charge in some sense and each of his advice she wouldn't be quick to assess or to reflect on it. She would disregard or adopt it with little to no thoughts. He also didn't have many ideas on how to look after a troubled, dependent kid with a responsibility that couldn't be easily detached from her.

Fig had far more experience and patience in such matters. After all, he was a teacher and Aesop was a coach.

It was weirdly common for Julia to end up with so much on her plate, she honestly needed a divine intervention or a thaumaturgy to be removed from so much troubles, many of which weren't even the direct consequences for her own actions. She was usually thrown into something and expected to survive and resolve the issue of someone else's nefarious design existence.

In a sense, she was performing the auror duty, which was admirable, but she wasn't ever compensated for it and was instead taken for granted after certain points in the story.

Aesop feared that would happen and he tried to redirect her attention and it didn't go in vain but, uh. Let's just say, he completely forgot about the certain granian and after its rescue Julia was badly injured by the beast, later placing Aesop on the receiving end of her anger. She thought he was helping her, instead, he deceived her to believe he was a friend, as many people did those days. Yes, she was on the verge of I Did So Much For These People and it halted her well-being.

But Aesop wasn't to give up on her, he has PhD in grief and guilt, no no no, if he dug up that pit, he'd climb it down and retrieve her back to somewhere safe -- which he ended up doing; he became very adamant about You Would Let One Down, You Let Down Every One.

But that's the story for another day and tbh the second part of Julia's 5th year is a certified traumacore, idk why I made it so harsh.

So.

While Julia was cringing backwards and Aesop was an idiot sandwich and everyone in support of Julia trying to butterbeer her to sanity, uh.

Aesop was appalled and enraged after he heard vile rumors people began to spread about Julia. I'm not going into details but due to the press coverage Rookwood case had, some students and then their families soon began to gossip that that muggleborn stole all the praise from Thee True Wizards and Witches that were also involved in the Rookwood's downfall, what a show-off that girl was, where does the Headmaster Black look, what her poor friend Onai makes of such a 'friend', etc etc etc, even Julia's personal life was roasted.

How it ended, briefly: Imelda threw punches, Poppy's gran promised to threw punches in dugbogskin gloves, Garreth said Ron's line from OotP, NATTY DESTROYED EVERY SINGLE RUMOR BITCH, Ominis rumored the gossipers, and Poppy reminded hippogriffs are fierce. 🫵

but as u can imagine, among everything else in the midst of it all, the girl needed a ground check and something to escape to -- and Mara perhaps would've needed to see and settle things for herself (and then probably to set off imelda only to throw spells for punches instead bc how could these people the sheer audacity)

@thriftstorebabayaga it's been months im still trying to find the right words to explain how it all went to hell and back

here's a fun question: if Amara was an NPC in the game, what kind of side quest would she have for the MC??

I’ve put much thought into this actually, so this ask was perfect timing!

Basically, as Amara wouldn’t be a werewolf during the events of the game yet, her plotline doesn’t focus on that one bit. I’ve brought it up vaguely in passing before, but I’d actually like for her to be a hidden boss post Ranrok. Because in my canon, she’s the previous Champion, seemingly MIA during your stint in the tournament. Though various NPCS would make comments about her in passing.

There are several things that irk me about this game, one being the lack of consequences and two, the difficulty. The combat is fun but by a certain point it’s mindless. So, in this hypothetical I want Amara to be an actual test of skill, no ancient magic, no curses, no items, no potions. A straight up duel, with her being at the max level cap (40) and only available to duel at normal or hard difficulty.

You’d find her post-Ranrok, in the clock tower where Lucan stands in the daytime. I’ve actually thought about her dialogue up until this point, but nothings finalized. All I know is she says “Let’s dance.” before the duel begins, all smug about it but surprisingly serious.

If you’ve played Undertale, then the best way I can put it, is that it’s a sans-esq fight, meaning it’s supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to catch the player off guard and make them go “??? wtf was that” right from the beginning. I imagine it employs the rhythm technique from the training dummy, with perfect precision.

If you win, through many valiant attempts, you a really cool outfit, which I of course, haven’t decided on yet. Maybe a dope cloak with all sorts of insignia on it, i’ll sort that out later. She also can be spoken to after that, and summoned as a companion via mods. You’d have her respect after that, though she’d still be adament to keep coming back for more, with slight variations upon repeat attempts, to increase replay value (another thing the base game sorely lacks).

In a hypothetical DLC, where I’d guess every character gets some new questlines, she could teach you a new spell. Something questionable probably. Reducto, is my personal go-to.

[thedreadvampy]

hello fellow youth do you like...Video Essay? can I interest you in... John Berger?

[acerace]

...you have opened my eyes to a vast universe of VintageBeef lore that I was unaware of. I knew about the New Hermit Order, of course, and the UHC invention, and I've watched a few of his CTM things but -- I will take all the info and lore you feel like giving out because Beef is amazing and my knowledge is so small.

Vintagebeef my beloved <3

So the thing is, right, until about 2016 I only watched two (2) youtubers- Vintagebeef for Minecraft and aDrive for Pokemon (and funnily enough both of them are named Dan irl). So I've watched most of Beef's videos over the years and have a general knowledge of most of his stuff, except because it's been like a decade I don't remember where most of the lore comes from XD

The thing with him is that he doesn't do Lore tm the way other mcyters often do lore- he doesn't have an extensive RP series to draw from like Grian, doesn't have a solo world with steadily increasing amounts of lore like Etho or Zisteau, and while he's played on SMPs and been involved in storylines before it's not really the focus of his episodes unlike with Evo or Legacy or Empires

So where does that leave us?

IRL, Beef always has multiple series running at the same time. Often he's playing on an smp while doing a singleplayer, often modded, series as well as a CTM or modpack with a group of friends. For example, right now he's playing on Hermitcraft, doing weekly Pixelmon and Building a Zoo episodes, and a CTM map with Slip. And to me, this translates to one thing: Beef is an adventurer. He travels frequently- he explores a world and when he decides he's done, he leaves for the next one. That's the basis of my personal interpretation of his series and his character for my writing.

Ok so reading this back, this got extremely long and didn't explain much in the way of lore, somehow? If anyone has any additions to add please do so, I am very definitely leaving out a lot and would love to see what other lore people remember and are using for Beef! I didn’t include the Hermitcraft stuff since my memory of season 4 is blurry (his base was themed after the Martian, that much I know, and he and Iskall were buddies :D) and most of the s5 NHO lore is best watched from Bdub’s perspective from what I remember, and the only s6 stuff is a single line in Hermitgang and then the Area 77 arc with its possibility of an NHO reunion which we did not get rip. And s7 of course had the cloning machine and also the Podzol Party as the main lore. So all the original rambling is still below the cut though it is very long, and I'm gonna bullet point the main stuff here instead:

Actual canonical things:

Invented UHC and was the only survivor of the first ever uhc (Mindcrack UHC s1)

Married to an ender dragon (one of the UHCs I think), later father to a different dragon (Mindcrack season 3? I think?)

Might not have legs if you choose to take that joke as canon (Mindcrack s2)

Was a wizard (RAD)

is a zookeeper (Building a Zoo) 

Had a wife and kids (Sims in Minecraft)

Part of the Trial of the B Team court case (Mindcrack)

NHO founder, founder of the Podzol Party (Hermitcraft)

Created a cloning machine that sort of works (Hermitcraft)

Played the Forest which is I believe the first time he and Keralis played together (look up the trigger warnings for this one, it's a horror game)

Was the creator/owner of Sourceblock SMP (featuring some familiar faces if you know Legacy, Empires, or MCC) and there is literal magic from a mysterious sourceblock of water that teleports people and summons mobs and probably more stuff that I haven't seen yet since I'm still watching it myself

Things you can infer:

Good with animals (Life in the Woods, Pixelmon, Ark)

Is a car nerd (irl and all of the car games he's played)

Is a highly experienced adventurer who has traveled through dozens of worlds both vanilla and modded, across multiple dimensions (Twilight Forest, the Aether, the Betweenlands, Limbo), completed dozens of monuments, fought in blood sports, survived apocalypse after apocalypse, tamed dinosaurs, and played a lot of prop hunt and golf with your friends

If you're looking for what to watch for lore purposes, I'd say the Mindcrack UHCs and Team Canada's RAD series are pretty good, definitely Sourceblock and HC s5, plus the Diversity CTM maps and Ruins of the Mindcrackers maybe? And Mindcrack Prank Wars for the chaos and the origin of Team Canada. And if you can handle horror than the Forest is fun and if you don't do horror you can watch the Pojkband play golf or prop hunt they're hilarious I love them sm I want a Pojkband reunion So Bad 

Beef's first series was a singleplayer series in beta 1.4_01 though he had played the game extensively before that, and was a big fan of Guude, having watched his own Minecraft videos. The series was functionally a hardcore one where if he died Beef would delete the world and start again! I haven't actually Watched this series so idk if he died or how often lmao. When Guude made Mindcrack, which was btw one of the very first Minecraft SMPs, he also hosted a competition for people to join, and Beef submitted a video (which is still viewable on his channel I believe!) and won, and was added to Mindcrack in season 2 :D (fun fact, Guude said that even if Beef hadn’t won he would have added him anyway) 

Two running jokes emerged from Mindcrack- pulling a Vintagebeef and Beef doesn't have legs. The first is a reference to Beef dying of fall damage (I believe the exact instance was him trying to jump into his swimming pool and failing spectacularly) and after the incident, every time someone died of fall damage they were pulling a Vintagebeef. The second joke comes from Guude, who joked that the reason Beef wasn't going to a convention was because he didn't have legs, and then he pranked Beef's base by building a giant pair of legs at the entrance to his castle so you had to walk between them to get into the base. This joke has long since died and both Beef and Guude feel pretty bad about it iirc because there were people who genuinely thought Beef was disabled and were emailing him supportive messages and stuff oops. So if you go looking on the Salad or find old Mindcrack fics, you might see references to Beef having prosthetic legs!

Mindcrack also brought about the creation of several Player groups- Team Nancy Drew, Team Canada, and GOB to name a few relevant to Beef. Team Nancy Drew consists of Beef, Pauseunpause, Guude, and Baj, who formed to investigate a prank on one of the members but I forget who. They're named Nancy Drew after the detective! Team Canada also formed in retaliation to pranks, with it consisting of Beef, Etho, and Pause, the three Canadian members on the server (not including Adlington who moved to Canada but never joined the group). There was also a Team America who pranked them with American flags everywhere. GOB is Guude, OMGChad, and Beef, who played stuff like the Ragecraft, Pantheon, and Monstrosity ctms together but that's way down the line lol

Team Nancy Drew is also notable for inventing UHC. It was Beef's brainchild but it was the four of them who first played it! The first UHC had the four of them working to kill the dragon with no natural regen, with everyone dying but Beef, who "won" the UHC. The second uhc was still dragon focused and iirc is where Beef married the dragon? Memories are hazy but they do kill the dragon in this one I think. UHC was then revamped as a pvp event and became a regular Mindcrack game every few months, featuring most of the Mindcrackers and several special guests, including Dinnerbone, who as we know Thanos-snapped Doc's arm out of existence as a result of Doc killing him in one of them

In one of the seasons of Mindcrack, Beef invited swedish Mindcracker and good friend Anderzel to go caving with him and invented ABBA Rules caving, where the winner takes it all. ABBA Rules is a game where each ore (and also dungeon loot like nametags) is assigned a point value and the person with the most points at the end wins and gets to keep all the stuff collected from the game.

In Mindcrack season 3?, Beef punched the ender dragon in an... awkward area, so when the dragon died and left the egg behind, Guude said Beef was the father of the egg XD I don't remember if I watched s3 so I have no idea if anything Happened with this concept but *history of the world voice* you could make lore out of this!

So Team Canada has played a Lot of CTM maps (which fun fact were pretty much invented by another Mindcrack member, Vechs, with his Super Hostile series! Super Hostile has a bunch of things called "Zistonian", which are references to another Mindcrack member Zisteau, who has a very wild singleplayer series with even wilder lore but I digress). In Ruins of the Mindcrackers, they had a running joke that Beef was Etho and Pause's mom, which is a joke we can leave in the past actually /lh. They also played all the Diversity maps, Sky Factory, Terra Restore, Uncharted Territory uhhh and a couple more ctms and adventure maps! Each map kinda has its own story so in Diversity 3 for example they were trapped in a simulation? I think? Team Canada also recently played the Roguelike Adventures and Dungeons modpack, aka RAD, in which Beef was a wizard with a magic staff that could do anything from summon lightning to control hostile mobs.

Sourceblock SMP is a vanilla survival 1.14 series that ran for one season and the series starts with each of the Players being drawn to a strange sparkling water source that, once they touch it, brings them to the Sourceblock world. It also summons a giant zombie at one point. There's probably more lore for this series but like I said I haven't watched it all the way through yet 

He has a Patreon server called VintageCraft and has done a series or two on there as well, and played a few UHCs with them, so lore that how you will! 

Beef also played a few popular mods, notably Pixelmon, Life in the Woods, and Feed the Beast, with LitW being singleplayer and the other multiplayer. He's also recently played the Zoo and Wild Animals mod a lot. He did a short series with the Minecraft Comes Alive mod where he married one of the villagers and had two children, so that's canon now :D he’s played a Lot of Pixelmon starting when the mod first came out iirc (he chose Turtwig in his first series and built a Grass gym, then made a Normal gym in another series in uhh 2016) and he still plays to this day. Quite a few Hermits played on his Pixelmon servers with him, like Wels, Etho, Iskall, Stress, Slip, Zueljin, and also Guude and Phedran (a Mindcrack adjacent player and creator of the LitW modpack) and a few Mindcrackers on the older servers 

Mindcrack and friends played a lot of other games too- 7 Days to Die, Ark Survival Evolved, Unturned, to name a few, so you can pull a lot of lore out of these as well. Speaking of friends and non-Minecraft games, Beef teamed up with Pause, Keralis, and Slip (a former Hermit) to play the horror game the Forest, which saw them stuck on an island trying to survive against terrifying mutated human... things. They played it a few times as the game updated but as afaik it's the first time Beef played with Keralis and possibly Slip and since the game starts with the Player's airplane crashing, that could totally be how Beef first met them in-universe 

I... think? that’s everything I mentioned in the tags? There is probably way more stuff I’ve forgotten that stems from inside jokes and things that happen within each series, but I hope that was a) helpful and b) at least somewhat comprehensible lmao