#and when we all stared at her for a while she went 'well it's just because uh. he's so good at looking respectable'

[muntitled]

Better Than Drugs

Pairings: Namgyu x Fem!Reader | Brief!Thanos x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reconnecting with your shitty ex boyfriend in the games.

Warnings: Language, Substance Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Male Manipulation, Coercion, Smut (+18) mdni, High sex, Dub/con, Choking, Exchange of Bodily Fluids, Unprotected Sex, Unedited (we die like soldiers)

A/n: literally no one will read this but I need him and I wrote this for me!

Being treated like a lamb being led to the proverbial slaughter in a death game sucked ass but seeing your ex boyfriend there sucked even more, somehow. From your vantage point perched on your bed tucked away from all the central conflict, you notice them talking about you again.

Call it past bully traum but you knew when people were talking about you and although you couldn't make out what they were saying, a part of you just knew...

Another vote had ended and Namgyu was still staring at you, his head bowed, chewing his fingernails. He was watching you, while you were forced to watch as democracy crumbled around you.

Your brain made you think Namgyu was perhaps berating you in front of his new friend. Bad-mouthing you to absolutely no end, perhaps saying what a lousy, uptight girlfriend you had been in the outside world. How you kept him from his habit. How you tried to force him into rehab countless times.

And so you shrink into yourself, squeezing yourself further into your bed, hugging your knees.

How were you supposed to know the conversation went nothing like how you thought it was going?

"We need to get her on our team," Thanos had said when the voting concluded and they were watching you pick at your roll of tin-foiled kimbap.

"She's already on our team," Namgyu muttered, more quiet than usual as he watched you through the corner of his eye. He didn't feel like eating. He felt like doing drugs. And fucking, maybe, but eating? It never occurred to him.

Without you to remind him to eat, and to actually take care of his bodily health outside of his substance abuse, he really was a mess.

"Oh yeah," Thanos muttered dumbly before turning back to his own food, "Kay, well, I need to sleep with her."

Namgyu didn't even look up from his food, still leaning against the metal beds as he murmured a quiet, "Nope." Popping his lip, extenuating the 'p'

Thanos himself was rallied into silence as Namgyu casually clicked his tongue before adding, "I called dibs on that bro," he steals another glance. You're searching your chest for a piece of cucumber that's fallen out of the kimbap

This unfortunately, zeroes his gaze in on your ample chest, miraculously squeezed into that tracksuit jacket. Now Namgyu was thinking about your tits while Thanos' head whips to the side, his brow lifted.

Namgyu couldn't take his eyes off you since the games began. Watching you during voting time had stirred up all kinds of lost emotions. The easy and almost thoughtless way you had pressed the blue button before tucking your hands in your pockets, never sparing anyone a second glance. He had to adjust the bulge forming in his sweatpant. If it weren't for him you might have continued to go amongst the games as an anonymous spectre, with that cash prize as your only goal.

"I didn't know we were calling dibs!?" Thanos stomped his feet petulantly, "That's not fair, man. Not. Cool."

"That's the point of dibs," Namgyu said, pushing his hair behind his ears as he continued to stare you down. "Who knows how long we'll be here?" As he watched you, he tilted his head downwards, causing a thick shadow to fall over his eyes as he watched you. He leaned against the railings of the metal beds piled up to the ceiling, watching you tuck your hands deeper into the sleeves of your sweater. Really fucking cute.

"B-But Homies don't call dibs on girls!" Thanos whines.

"Yeah," Namgyu nods, "but, I'm gonna need more than magic pills and a homie to get me through the night," He made a ring with his index and thumb finger, pinching his one eye shut as he spied at you through it, "She can help,”

Thanos was quiet, eerily so. Good things never happened when Thanos was quiet,

"Let's go over to her right now then. Since she's stealing my homie-"

That immediately snapped Namgyu out of his lust-filled gaze, promoting his shoulders to straighten as he tried to stop Thanos from taking another step towards you.

"Senorita-" he said in a singsong voice and you rolled your eyes as you saw them approaching. Namgyu walked behind like the shadow he always tried to be, with his hands tucked in his pocket. Your bed is relatively low to the ground and your heart stammered when both their shadows fell over you.

"Don't have any change," your eyes whipped to your ex-boyfriend before narrowing, "Or drugs. Sorry." you mustered a painfully sarcastic smile as you attempted to turn in another direction, hoping they might take the hint.

Thanos' teeth stretched as Namgyu swallowed thickly, watching you in that distinctly predatory way of his as he propped his forearm against the railing of the bed. You hate how both of them make you feel and your eye scans in vain around the premises, hoping someone might save you from the duo.

"Lemme make this quick," Thanos said with his drug addicted hand gestures. "My bro wants you and whatever bro wants-" he taps Namgyu's chest behind you- "Bro gets."

Silence passed with you staring deep into Namgyu's dark, almost sinister black eyes. You admitted that you were still painfully attracted to him. Knowing that he knows your body. He's already seen what hid under your blue tracksuit, it was dizzyingly sobering.

He still seemed so devastatingly sleezy it bordered on attractive, like he didn't care about what anyone really thought of him. It still brought an uncomfortable amount of attraction that you didn't really know what to do with. "No thanks," you said, bending your head to take a bite of the kimbap.

"Cunt." you heard him mumble under his breath. That caused your head whip up to glare at him.

"I'm a cunt because I'd rather not fuck a drug addict?"

"No," Namgyu shrugged, "You're just a cunt."

Your nostrils flared as something diabolical ignited inside you. Up until this point, fear had been the only emotion you allowed yourself to feel. The fear of dying to keep you alive. But right now, you're being plagued with another emotion and it's setting you alight with interest.

Your dating preferences were never orthodox. You knew you could never truly be satisfied with any other timid nice guy, and that's what drew you to him. You hated admitting to it but Namgyu calling you a cunt did more than irritate you, it ignited you.

"I'm not here to make friends,” You marvel now, in the tense darkness, how confident you had been then.

“How about a boyfriend then?” Namgyu asked and Thanos whistled lowly as he mutters a ‘nice bro,’

“How about choking?” You shot back, “I tried the boyfriend thing and he stole all my savings to buy drugs.” Namgyu’s jaw ticked and you can see his fist fold and unfold. Thanos’ commentary continues. ‘Shit boyfriend-’ he says under his breath.

“Don't be a bitch so early in the morning…” Namgyu says finally before turning his head, somewhat distracted, “Or at least I think it's morning. Hyung do you think it's morning-”

Thanos raised his hands, “Morning is what we make it in here, bro.”

“Leave me alone of I'll fucking scream.” you cut through all their useless chatter, letting a tense silence settle between the three of you. Eventually, Thanos reluctantly pulls Namgyu away. Murmuring a quiet ‘just take a hint bro.'

Soon, you were left in your bed but not without one more backwards glance from Namgyu over his shoulder. He wasn't done with you and that thought sat heavily on your shoulders until the robotic voice from unseen speakers made the countdown to lights out.

The very last thing you remembered, before the overhead lights were snuffed out, was his black, almond eyes still watching you from his bed.

The blue 'O' velcroed to your breast burns a hole through your conscience as your eyes flutter open in the middle of the night, really needing to pee. The prize money acts as the only source of gold light illuminating the hall while everyone else remains soundly asleep.

Life in the games was so much more stomachable during the day, but when the lights went out, you were forced to sit with your thoughts. That piggy bank didn't have money inside it, it held bodies, and the ghosts practically filled this room.

Still, you can't help but whisper to yourself, “I really have to pee.” The only thing stopping you from going to the bathroom is the gaze you knew would somehow find you from three beds over. Your ex boyfriend watches you, even when the lights go out.

Paranoia be damned.

Cursing softly, you maneuvered yourself to the ground. Trying to make the least amount of noise possible as you moved through the row of beds.

If you were being followed you'd never know. Everything was too dark but a part of you sighed as you reached the small arched doorway completely unscathed.

Almost unscathed.

Your heart hammers in its cage when you feel his heavy arm settle over your shoulders. Your mouth falls open but Namgyu is already banging on the arched door with a closed fist. You flinch with every loud, metallic hit.

The little window opens to reveal a triangle-masked soldier. He stands there emotionless.

“My girlfriend's on her period- she's bleeding everywhere. We need the bathroom.”

There is silence from the Guard who is clearly unimpressed. Just before the little window is about to slide shut Namgyu kicks at the door, “Hey! I wanna fuck my girl- if you want, we could do it out here?!”

You try to wrench yourself out of his grip, toilet be damned but your heart absolutely sinks to find the pink soldier opening the metal door.

Namgyu only twirls, pumping his fist before pulling you in his arms, biting back a smile.

“Can't believe that worked,” Namgyu says, with a raised eyebrow and a happy little shrug as he drags you across the threshold. The trip to the women's bathroom is relatively short as you writhe and fight in his hands. There's virtually no reason for the pink guard to think any of this was consensual but they kept their stoicism on their face as you reached the girl's bathroom.

“We'll be quick,” Namgyu assures the guard with a tight sort of smile before pushing you into the bathroom, and closing the door after himself.

You trip on your way running into one of the stalls and he watches you, biting his nail.

“This is the girls bathroom, or are you too high to notice?” You hiss absolute venom as he bites his fingernail.

“Nah, I'm sober right now, which means I need something to take the load off.”

“Cool. Use your hand,” you sigh from within the stalls before dropping your pants to pee. It irked you that he was standing there, on the other side… waiting for you.

You make quick work of it all. Wiping, flushing, and making a beeline for the sinks. He lets you wash your hands but before you make it to the door his arms are wrapped around your waist.

“Uh Uh,” he tsks, “No ‘i miss you’ kiss, huh?” He drags you into his arms, kicking and screaming as he swipes your brains from across your panicked face.

“Only competent boyfriends get kisses,” Despite the fuss, the door doesn't open. Those guards have quite literally abandoned you in here to fend for yourself.

“I can make it up to you,” he said, “I miss you really bad, baby,” Namgyu's pushing your back against the sink, stained with that sickening, pastel colour as he lowers his nose into the crook of your neck. You writhe as he breathes you in deeply, before sighing. His erection pressed against your thigh.

“Someone else could walk in here,” you cry, feeling a dampness seep out of you, wetting your underwear. Your body was being traitorous because it was enjoying feeling anything other than fear. It yearned for it.

“Sto-” you attempt to catch your breath as he gropes at your breasts from over your tracksuit. “Stop touching me-” you say despite your legs getting weaker and weaker.

“You don't get to touch me anymore. You lost that privilege when you stopped being my boyfriend.” He was so much taller than you when he stretched his hand across your cheeks, forcing your neck back to make more space for his lips. A moan nearly spills out of you.

His hands are trembling and his tongue swipes out to lick the length of your neck. To your shock and horror, you melt in his grasp.

“You don't mean that-” he whispers against your skin. “No one's gonna fuck you like I do-”

“No one's going to steal my money like you do either-”

His hand flies down to your throat, choking as he says through clenched teeth, “I told you I had a problem-” he squeezes and for the briefest moment, you see stars. “I needed help and you abandoned me, you bitch-”

“I didn't abandon you-” His lips are on yours, silencing you in one messy kiss that him forcing his tongue into your mouth.

“You gonna be good for me, Huh?’ He says, hoarsely, your eyes glare up at him.

“Leave me alone-”

“You know I love it when you try to fight back,” his mouth breathes against your hair, “You trying to get me riled up babe, huh?”

His fingers find the lining of your own sweatpants and your heart stammers as he turns to push your front against the sink. Your hand grips at the cheap plaster and you avoid your own traitorous reflection in the mirror, lest you find not only fear in your eyes, but lust

“You know how bad I've needed this- fuck,” his voice cracks when fumbles his cock out, grinding against your ass with his eyes closed in ecstasy and his mouth hanging open. Your finger curls around the sink as the first moan slips out of you. It had his eyes flying open to look down at you in amusement and awe.

“I knew you weren't a completely stuck-up bitch,” he says, pulling you up by the base of the throat, “I knew you still wanted me.”

“I don't,” you squeak out as he pulls down your pants.

“No- but your body does,” he swipes your underwear to the side.

Your body spasms as he roughly sinks his digits into you once before pulling out.

“You miss me real bad,” he brings your fingers up in front of your face and your heart drops to find the arousal webbing his index and middle.

He continues to swipe your arousal from from your ass to your puffy clit and the need wracks through your entire body, building as you arched your ass backwards against him.

His mouth is by your ear, breathing heavily as he lines his cock up at your entrance, already leaking precum, “I know I gave you hell when we were out there-”

“Hell doesn't begin to cover- FUCK-” he rams his cock into you. Positively brimming with need as his hips stutter against you.

“Y-ou stole my fucking savings for drugs-” you get the sentence out quickly before moaning into the air, as your boyfriend fucks out all the frustration he's been carrying, all the need and the withdrawal.

“And I ate you out as an apology-” He reaches his hand around to clamp down on the base of your throat. Your mouth falls open when he cranes our neck back, his eyes boring into yours. “Don't you miss it baby, don't miss having me inside of you?”

“Y-Your eyes are diluted-” you begin to say, utterly incredulous. “You're high right now!”

His hips thrusts in shallow, quick strokes. “And your pussy's wet, guess we're both fucked.”

Your pussy tightens around him like a long lost friend, it knocks you out how deeply you've craved him. Needing reprieve from all the fear. “You're squeezing around my cock, you fucking slut-” that nearly has you seeing stars. Your body spasms.

“That it…” he whispers, “Don't think I haven't forgotten the way you abandoned me out there… But in here,” your eyes roll to the back of your head, “You dont so much as fucking breathe without my permission.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as his cock hits that particular pillow of nerves inside you, nearly flipping you off the edge.

“Spit on my hand,” he says, an edge to his voice that let you know he was far too close. You forgot how messy things got when you had sex with him. How much of a mess he made of you.

You do it without thinking about it and his eyes widen as he presses that same hand to your clit.

“F-Fuck!” Your eyes are squeezed shut as he reaches around to rub you to your orgasm. His movements only fumble when his hips start stuttering.

“N-Need you to cum for me-” he breathes out. “I’m jittery- baby. I need it- shit-” you slip into your orgasm right in front of him, milking his cock for all its worth. “F-Fuck this is so much better than drugs,” he murmers, eyes rolled back as a drunken smile ghosts over his face. He's in complete and utter euphoria.

Two rough knocks on the door signal the need for your return but Namgyu's cock is still spilling ropes of his cum inside you and you're doing nothing but taking it.

“I hate you,” you breathe out, because it's true. If it weren't for him you wouldn't be here.

His breath is warm against your neck as he says, “I love you too.

[mattsobvimyfav]

neighbors (Matthew sturniolo)

pt 7

The morning sun streamed through the curtains as I stirred awake, the warmth of another body beside me pulling me out of my haze. My heart stopped when I realized it was Matt, his arm draped protectively around my waist, his face peaceful in sleep.

Panic coursed through me. What the fuck?

Slowly, carefully, I untangled myself from his hold, making sure not to wake him. His arm tightened for a brief moment before falling slack, and I slipped out of the bed, holding my breath.

Once I was free, I grabbed a hoodie from the back of a chair and pulled it on as I tiptoed toward the door. I paused for a moment, glancing back at him. He looked so… calm. Almost vulnerable. Shaking the thought away, I turned and hurried out of the room.

The second the door clicked shut, I bolted down the hallway, making a beeline for Charlie’s room. I didn’t even knock. I burst through the door, ready to vent—but what I saw stopped me in my tracks.

Charlie and Chris were curled up together, both stark naked under the covers. My jaw dropped, and without thinking, I stormed over and yanked the blanket off them.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?” I yelled, my voice echoing off the walls.

Chris shot up, his eyes wide as he scrambled to grab a pillow to cover himself. 

Charlie groaned dramatically, burying her face deeper into the mattress. “Too early for this,” she muttered, her voice muffled.

“Y/N!” Chris groaned, glaring at me. “Again? Really?”

“Someone tell me why the fuck I woke up laid up with Matt!” I demanded, crossing my arms and pacing in front of their bed.

Charlie peeked out from under her arm, her voice groggy. “You’re too loud.”

“What?” I snapped, my patience wearing thin.

She groaned again, flipping onto her side and propping herself up on her elbow. “Matt carried you to bed, duh.”

“Why?!” I demanded, throwing my hands up. “What even happened?”

Chris sighed heavily, flopping back down onto the bed and staring at the ceiling like he was summoning patience from another dimension. “You barged in here, again, while we were—”

“—mid-stroke,” Charlie added unhelpfully, grinning wickedly as she watched my face contort in laughter.

“CHARLIE!” Chris barked, shooting her a glare.

She just shrugged. “What? It’s true.”

“Oh my god I am so sorry, tell me the details later though. Okay, but what happened after I apparently ruined your nut bust?”

Charlie snorted. “Well, you cried about how Matt wouldn’t touch you, talked about how much you miss him whimpering under you, then flopped on our bed and passed out halfway through telling me about the TSA taking your rose toy.”

My face flushed instantly. “I… what?”

Chris sat up, propping himself on his elbows. “And since you were busy traumatizing us, I went out and told Matt to come deal with you because you clearly weren’t leaving until someone did.”

“Wait,” I said, blinking at him. “So Matt came back in here? Why?”

“To pick your drunk ass up and take you to bed,” Chris said flatly. “Which, by the way, you owe me for. I could have ignored you and stayed in bed, but nooo, I had to play hero.”

Charlie smirked, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Don’t let him fool you. He’s just mad you walked in before he could make me finish.”

“CHARLIE!” Chris groaned, turning bright red.

I groaned too, my hands covering my face. “I don’t remember any of that, I remember telling him at the bar we could fuck on this trip.”

Charlie sat up fully now, her grin growing. “Oh, honey, that’s not even the best part. Apparently, you begged Matt to touch you all the way to your room.”

I froze, my stomach twisting. “No.”

“Oh, yeah,” Chris chimed in, his smirk matching Charlie’s. “You kept telling him how badly you wanted him and how the whole trip you’d been thinking about sleeping with him.”

“Stop,” I whispered, my face burning. “We’ve been here one day.”

“And you even said something about how he could replace your rose toy,” Charlie added, laughing now.

“STOP!” I wailed, burying my face in a pillow.

They both laughed for a moment longer before Charlie scooted closer, rubbing my back. “Relax, babe. Matt didn’t do anything. He just spooned you until you passed out. Honestly, kinda cute. He’s a gentleman.”

“Yeah,” Chris said, his tone suddenly serious. “He told me he wasn’t gonna take advantage of you. Said he’d wait until you were sober and clear-headed.”

I peeked out from behind the pillow, my heart doing a weird flip-flop in my chest. “He said that?”

Chris nodded. “Yeah. He’s mad at you for trying to use him, though but hes not an awful person. Said you’ve gotta figure your shit out before he’ll touch you again.”

I groaned, falling back onto the bed. “Why am I like this?”

Charlie laughed, flopping beside me. “Because you’re messy and chaotic, and we love you for it. But seriously, next time, just get a replacement rose toy before you start drinking.”

Chris stood up, ruffling his hair. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go fix my morning wood, since someone ruined last night.”

“Okay at least make her cum this time” I groaned as I walked out. 

After walking out of Charlie’s room, I found myself wandering back to my own. My heart raced as I cracked the door open, peeking inside. Matt was still in bed, sprawled out on his back, one arm draped over his stomach, the other resting beside him.

Without even thinking, I stepped in and quietly shut the door behind me. My pulse quickened as I approached the bed, climbing up and straddling his waist. Slowly, I leaned down and started pressing soft kisses along his neck, trailing my lips to the spot just beneath his jaw that I knew would stir him.

Matt stirred beneath me, a low groan escaping his lips as his eyes fluttered open. His hands instinctively came to rest on my hips, his voice husky and groggy.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” he murmured, still half-asleep.

I leaned up, my eyes locking with his, my heart pounding but my voice steady. “I meant what I said last night at the bar.”

His eyes widened slightly as my words sunk in. “You’re serious?” he asked, his voice a mix of disbelief and something else I couldn’t quite place.

“I am,” I replied firmly. “Just this trip, Matt. No strings, no expectations. When we get back home, it’s over. But here, I want this.”

He let out a shaky breath, his hands tightening slightly on my hips. “Y/N… you don’t know what you’re saying… don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” I whispered, leaning down again, brushing my lips against his ear. “Do you care about my boyfriend? We are on a break anyways”

Matt’s eyes darkened at my words, his jaw tightening. For a moment, I thought he might push me off, but instead, he let out a quiet, bitter laugh.

“No,” he murmured, his voice low and raspy. “I don’t care about your boyfriend. You know where home is.”

Before I could respond, Matt’s hands slid up to cradle my face, and he smashed his lips onto mine. The kiss was intense and unrelenting, sending a jolt of electricity through me. My fingers threaded into his hair as I pressed myself closer, matching his urgency.

His hands roamed down to my waist, tugging me against him as his tongue slipped past my lips. My heart was pounding so loudly I thought it might burst out of my chest. One of his hands crept beneath the hem of my shirt, as I grinded into him.

Just as he started to lift it higher, the door suddenly flew open.

“Well, well,” Chris’s voice broke through the haze, his tone dripping with amusement. “How does it feel to get interrupted, Matt?”

I tore myself away from Matt, both of us breathing heavily, my cheeks flaming as I whipped my head toward the doorway. Chris and Charlie stood there, arms crossed and grinning like they’d just won the lottery.

“Seriously?” I snapped, trying to compose myself as I tugged my shirt back down.

Charlie raised an eyebrow, her smirk growing. “Oh, don’t stop on our account. It’s just… payback feels so good.”

Matt groaned, dragging a hand down his face before shooting his brother a glare. “Get out,” he growled.

Chris let out a laugh, slapping the doorframe. “Alright, alright. We’re leaving. But man, this is gold. I’m telling Nick.”

“Don’t you dare!” Matt yelled after them, but they were already cackling as they disappeared down the hallway.

I flopped onto my back, staring at the ceiling and covering my face with my hands. “Kill me now,” I muttered.

Matt chuckled softly, leaning over me. “Well, that was...”

I peeked through my fingers, catching the amused glint in his eyes. Despite my embarrassment, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Next time, we'll lock the door.”

“Next time?” he teased, raising an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes, shoving him playfully. “Don’t push it, Matthew .”

Charlie and I were standing side by side in the bathroom, both of us running through our morning routines. She was blending her concealer while I curled the ends of my hair, the two of us talking about what we wanted to do for the day.

“Beach first, then maybe lunch at that little spot by the water,” Charlie suggested, adjusting her hair in the mirror.

“Sounds perfect,” I replied, reaching for my mascara.

The bathroom door opened suddenly, and Matt leaned against the frame, his hands shoved in his pockets. “Hey, Charlie,” he said casually, his eyes flickering toward me. “Can I borrow Y/N for a second?”

Charlie frowned, her gaze darting between us. “Um… sure, I guess.” She gave me a pointed look before shrugging and slipping out of the room.

I turned to Matt, raising an eyebrow. “What’s up—”

Before I could finish, he stepped closer, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck as he tilted my head up toward him. Without a word, he pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that left me breathless. It wasn’t rushed or desperate like the night before, but slow and deliberate, making my heart pound all the same.

When he pulled back, I blinked up at him, trying to process what just happened. “What was that for?” I asked.

Matt smirked, his thumb brushing against my jawline. “Just getting it all in before the trip’s over.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but he stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets again like nothing had happened. “See you out there,” he said over his shoulder before leaving the room.

I stood there, frozen, my lips still tingling from the kiss. A second later, Charlie peeked her head back in. “What the fuck was that about?”

I shook my head, snapping out of it and reaching for my brush like nothing had happened. “Nothing,” I said quickly. “Just Matt being Matt.”

Charlie squinted at me suspiciously but didn’t press it. “If you say so.”

I turned back to the mirror, trying to focus on finishing my hair, but my thoughts were consumed by Matt’s words—and the kiss that still lingered on my lips.

Once Charlie and I finished getting ready, we headed out to the living room, both of us feeling the anticipation of another perfect day in paradise. As soon as we walked in, Chris pulled Charlie toward the fireplace, grinning at something he whispered in her ear. She laughed, swatting his chest playfully before letting him guide her toward the fireplace area.

Meanwhile, I felt Matt’s hands find my hips, pulling me onto his lap on the couch. “Come here,” he murmured, his voice low as his lips found mine.

I didn’t resist. His hands gripped my waist as he deepened the kiss, his touch igniting a familiar heat. I was so caught up in the moment that I barely noticed the faint sound of a TikTok audio playing in the background. I figured it was Charlie and Chris scrolling through their saved sounds, as usual, and didn’t think much of it.

By the time we made it to the beach, the sun was high in the sky, and the sand was warm beneath our feet. We set up blankets and towels and Matt and I sat side by side, sharing a quiet moment as we looked out at the water.

It was peaceful—until all our phones started buzzing at once. I furrowed my brow, pulling mine out to see dozens of notifications lighting up the screen. Confused, I unlocked it and immediately saw the chaos.

“Are you seeing this?” Nick asked, holding up his phone.

Charlie and Chris had posted a TikTok an hour ago—a seemingly innocent montage of clips from our morning. But at the end of the video, there was a brief shot of Matt and me kissing on the couch in the background. It was subtle, but not subtle enough for fans to miss.

The comments were already flooded:

“WAIT WHAT???? Y/N AND MATT??????”

“Girl just had a boyfriend two weeks ago… yikes.”

“She’s the problem, clearly. Poor Matt.”

“Slut. Do better, Y/N.”

“Okay but why do I secretly ship it again?”

“Matt deserves better, tbh.”

My stomach churned as I scrolled through the reactions. Most were negative, accusing me of being unfaithful or jumping back to Matt too quickly. I felt my face flush, the weight of the judgment pressing down on me.

Charlie looked up from her phone, her face pale. “Oh my God, Y/N, I’m so sorry. We didn’t even realize—”

“It’s fine,” I muttered, though my voice was tight. “It’s not your fault.”

But their words echoed in my mind, making it hard to focus on anything else. The peaceful beach day I’d been looking forward to now felt tainted by the storm of online opinions.

The buzzing of my phone pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. I glanced down to see Leo’s name flashing on the screen, accompanied by a flood of text notifications.

“You should probably answer that,” Charlie said cautiously, watching me closely.

With a sigh, I hit the answer button and put it on speaker, figuring Charlie might as well hear this too. “Hello?”

The screaming started immediately.

“Are you serious right now, Y/N?!” Leonard’s voice boomed through the speaker. “You’re a fucking whore! What the hell is wrong with you?! Making out with your ex—and on TikTok no less? You’re embarrassing me, you know that?”

I froze, the words hitting me like a slap in the face.

Charlie’s jaw dropped as she sat up straighter, glaring at the phone. “What the fuck, Leo?” she muttered under her breath.

Before I could gather a response, Matt snatched the phone out of my hand. His jaw was clenched, his eyes burning with fury.

“Listen up, you piece of shit,” Matt growled into the phone, his voice low and venomous. “Don’t you ever talk to Y/N like that again. Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can call her names because you’re upset? Grow up and use your words like a big boy.”

“Stay out of this, Matt,” Leonard spat. “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side since I met her. You ruined everything!”

“Oh, cry me a fucking river,” Matt shot back, his voice dripping with mockery. “Newsflash: if you were half the boyfriend you thought you were, she wouldn’t even be here with me. So, take your tantrum and shove it up your ass.”

Leonard stammered, clearly at a loss for words. “You—she—”

“She doesn’t owe you anything,” Matt cut him off sharply. “You don’t own her, and you sure as hell don’t get to scream at her like some entitled little brat. Grow the fuck up.”

Leonard’s voice was shaking now, either from rage or humiliation. “This isn’t over,” he hissed before hanging up abruptly.

Matt tossed the phone onto the blanket with a huff, his chest rising and falling as he tried to calm down.

I stared at him, equal parts stunned and grateful. “You didn’t have to do that,” I said softly.

“Yeah, I did,” he replied, his tone softer now. “No one talks to you like that, Y/N. No one.”

Charlie nodded firmly. “He’s right. Even though you were on a break he had no right to speak to you like that. Fuck him.”

I let out a shaky breath, leaning back against the blanket. As much as Leo’s words had stung, Matt’s defense of me left an unexpected warmth in their place.

The sun was setting as we headed back to the house, the warmth of the day replaced by a cooler breeze. After hours on the beach, everyone was tired, but the plan was to regroup, clean up, and head out for dinner.

As soon as we got inside, Charlie grabbed my hand, pulling me toward my room. “We need to talk to him now,” she whispered.

I hesitated but nodded, grabbing my phone and dialing Leonard’s number. Charlie sat beside me on the bed, her hand on my knee for support as the line rang.

He picked up after a few seconds. “What do you want?” His tone was icy, his earlier rage still lingering.

“You wanted a break,” I said, my voice shaking slightly. “You told me to take time to figure things out, so how is this fair? How is any of this fair, Leonard?”

There was silence for a beat, and then he scoffed. “You figured things out by making out with your ex? That’s real classy, Y/N.”

Charlie rolled her eyes, muttering, “Oh my god.”

“That’s not the point,” I said, my voice firmer now. “You can’t just… blow up on me when you’re the one who told me you needed space. I’m trying to respect what you asked for.”

“I’m coming to LA as soon as you get back,” he said abruptly, his tone sharp. “We’re going to talk about this in person. You owe me that much.”

I froze, panic creeping in as his words sank in. “Leonard—”

But he’d already hung up.

I stared at the phone in my hand, my chest tightening with fear and nerves. “What the hell?” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Charlie frowned, pulling me into a hug. “That wasn’t okay,” she said softly. “You don’t owe him anything, Y/N.”

“I don’t want to deal with this,” I mumbled, my voice cracking as tears welled up in my eyes. “I don’t even know how to handle this. What if he actually comes? What if—”

The sound of the door creaking open made us both look up. Matt stood in the doorway, his brows furrowed in concern. “What happened?” he asked, his eyes flicking between the two of us.

“She called Leonard,” Charlie said quietly, rubbing my back as I tried to hold back my tears. “He’s being an ass. He said he’s coming to LA when we get back, and now she’s freaking out.”

Matt’s jaw clenched, his hands curling into fists at his sides. “He’s what?”

“He said he’s coming to LA,” Charlie repeated, glaring at the floor. “It’s just… too much.”

Matt crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Hey,” he said softly. “You’re not dealing with this alone, okay? If he shows up, I’ll handle it. You’re safe here. With us.”

I nodded, biting my lip as I wiped at my face. His words were comforting, but the knot in my stomach refused to untangle.

Once we finished getting ready for dinner, Charlie flopped onto my bed, smirking at her phone. “Okay, I have an idea,” she said, holding it up.

I raised an eyebrow. “What now?”

“You and Matt should make a TikTok,” she said casually, scrolling through sounds. “Just… clear some stuff up without actually explaining anything.”

Matt leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “What kind of TikTok?”

Charlie grinned, clicking on a sound. “This one.”

She played the audio: ‘Oops, got your girl, should’ve treated her right. Now she’s with real, she love it over here. Yeah, I love it over here!’

Matt snorted, looking at me. “You’re down for this?”

I hesitated but ultimately shrugged. “Why not? If it gets people off my back, sure.”

We set up my phone on the dresser and rehearsed it once before recording. Matt took the first line, pointing at the camera with his usual smirk: ‘Oops, got your girl, should’ve treated her right. Now she with a real, she love it over here.’

Then Matt turned around with me over his shoulder and I leaned closer and finished: ‘Yeah, I love it over here.’

We watched the playback a few times, laughing at how ridiculous it felt but my ass looked good. “Okay, it’s perfect,” Charlie declared, taking the phone. Matt grabbed it back before she could post anything.

“I got this,” he said, typing in a caption. A second later, he showed it to me: ‘She’s been single. And she knows where home is.’

My jaw dropped, and I lightly shoved his shoulder. “Really?”

He grinned. “What? It’s true.”

With a tap, he posted it, and within seconds, the notifications started rolling in.

Charlie and I sat on the couch, scrolling through the comments.

“Wait, they’re back together?!”

“Home? GIRL, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!”

“The way this is so messy, I love it.”

“Poor Leo, but Matt’s always been endgame.”

“Y/N a whole clown for going back to him 🙄.”

“She needs to stay away from him.”

“He don’t even want her he prolly just feel bad.” 

Some comments were sweet, but others were downright brutal. Charlie nudged me with her elbow, giving me a reassuring smile. “Don’t let the haters get to you.”

I shrugged, leaning back into the couch. “Im the one fucking him, theyre just mad.”

Matt walked into the room, leaning over the back of the couch to peek at the screen. “Oh, yeah?” he said casually. “Wanna prove that to me later tonight?”

Charlie laughed and stood. “Alright before yall rip each other's clothes off, go put on something that’s not a T-shirt, and maybe we’ll believe you’re classy enough for dinner.”

Everyone was dressed and ready for dinner, piling out of the Airbnb earlier than planned so we could explore the area before eating. Nick had his vlogging camera out, already recording as we strolled down a cobblestone path lined with shops and palm trees.

Matt walked up to Nick showing the camera, a glass soda bottle. Without missing a beat, he tilted his head, clamped the bottle cap between his teeth, and popped it off effortlessly.

Chris froze mid-step, pointing at him dramatically. “Woah, he can do it with his mouth?!”

The group burst into laughter, and before I could stop myself, I smirked at the camera Nick was holding. “Trust me, he can do a lot with his mouth,” I quipped, throwing in a wink for good measure.

Nick immediately turned the camera to capture everyone’s reactions. Chris keeled over, laughing, while Charlie joined him.

“Y/N!” she laughed.

Matt, however, seemed unbothered. Instead, he just raised an eyebrow, smirking as he took a long sip from the bottle. “She's not wrong, She knows all about it” he smirked, making Chris and Nick howl louder.

Nick turned the camera back to me. “This vlog just got demonetized, thanks to Y/N!”

I shrugged, grinning. “What can I say? I like to brag”

As we strolled toward the restaurant, the golden glow of the setting sun bathed the streets. Chris had his arm slung over Charlie’s shoulders, their fingers intertwined as they walked hand in hand. Naturally, Matt grabbed my hand too, lacing our fingers together with a smirk that said he was trying to get a reaction out of me.

Nick had his camera out, panning from Charlie and Chris to us. “The happy couple…” he narrated dramatically, pausing before turning the lens toward me and Matt. “…And then there’s Matt and Y/N.”

The group erupted into laughter.

“Oh, fuck you, Nick,” I said, grinning as I playfully shoved his shoulder with my free hand.

Nick laughed harder. “What? I’m just saying what the people are thinking!”

Charlie wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “He’s not wrong.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at my lips. Matt, however, played along, pulling me closer and wrapping his free arm around my waist.

“Jealous, Nick?” Matt quipped, raising an eyebrow at the camera.

Nick gasped in mock offense. “Yeah, Y/n is sexy.”

“Fair,” I chimed in, earning another round of laughter.

The restaurant was tucked into a corner of the waterfront, its warm glow inviting as the waves lapped against the nearby docks. The host led us to a private outdoor patio strung with fairy lights, giving the space a magical ambiance. We slid into a large round table, Matt sitting beside me and Chris on Charlie’s other side, with Nick opposite us.

The night started lighthearted.

Nick had his camera set up discreetly on the table, catching candid moments of us all. “Okay, before we even order—best and worst moment of this trip so far. Go.”

Charlie grinned, leaning back in her chair. “Best moment? Definitely the beach yesterday. Worst moment? Trying to wrangle all your suitcases into the car at the airport.”

“You’re welcome,” Matt cut in, sipping his drink with a smirk.

Nick rolled his eyes. “What about you, Y/N?”

“Best moment?” I tilted my head, pretending to think. “Probably cock blocking Chris by accident… Twice.”

“Yeah fuck you big time for that.” Chris laughs. And Charlie nudges him.

When the server arrived, we placed our orders. Charlie and Chris shared appetizers, their playful banter a steady hum throughout the table. Nick teased Matt mercilessly, accusing him of only ordering steak to seem manly.

“Please, hell probably cut it with his teeth like the bottle earlier,” I joked, earning another round of laughter.

As the night went on, the jokes gave way to deeper conversations.

Chris shared a story about a prank he’d pulled on Charlie during one of their earlier dates in college, leaving her laughing so hard she nearly peed her pants. Nick talked about his upcoming projects and teased us about featuring heavily in his vlogs.

And then Matt turned to me, his voice softer as he leaned closer. “What about you? What’s been on your mind?”

Caught off guard, I hesitated before answering. “You.”

Matt nodded, his gaze lingering on me. “Can confidently say you’ve been on mine the past four years.”

As his words hung in the air, something inside me snapped. Four years. Four fucking years. My chest tightened, and I felt my heart pounding in a rhythm that matched the anger bubbling beneath the surface. He said it so easily, like it wasn’t a big deal. Like it didn’t matter that he’d been living rent-free in my head for just as long—except, for me, it wasn’t some sweet little daydream. It was a goddamn battlefield.

How dare he? How fucking dare Matt think about me like that—like it was some wistful memory or a quiet longing—when he was the one who left me to pick up the pieces? When he was the one who wrecked me and walked away like it was nothing? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair for him to sit here, leaning closer, saying words that had no right to sound so soft, so genuine, when they came from him.

I stared at him, my jaw tightening as I fought to keep my expression steady, even though my mind was spiraling. I wanted to yell at him, to ask if he’d even considered what those four years had been like for me. Did he ever think about the nights I spent trying to forget him, trying to piece myself back together when he was the one who broke me in the first place?

And now he says this—like it’s supposed to mean something. Like it’s supposed to make up for everything.

I felt my nails dig into my palm beneath the table, grounding myself in the pain because it was better than the storm brewing inside me. This wasn’t reality. It couldn’t be. I’d told myself I wasn’t going to let him—or anyone—pull me back into that. Not after everything I’d done to move on, to be okay again.

But fuck, it felt good to hear it. And that’s what scared me the most.

I had to remind myself that this wasn’t real. That whatever moment we were living in now would dissolve the second this trip ended, and I promised myself I’d stick to that, no matter how good it feels now because he doesn’t deserve me that easily. 

I swallowed hard, my anger simmering just beneath the surface. My voice was steady when I finally spoke, but there was no softness left in it. “Must’ve been nice,” I said, meeting his gaze with a sharpness I hoped would cut through him. “Thinking about me for four years. Too bad I didn’t get that time in real life, huh?”

Matt’s jaw tightened, and I could see the flash of surprise and frustration in his eyes as I threw the words at him. He leaned closer, closing the distance between us, his voice low and sharp as he spoke through gritted teeth. “Don’t do this now.”

Before I could respond, his hand gripped my thigh under the table—not hard, but firm enough to send a jolt through me. His touch burned, the contrast between his tense grip and the slow, almost absent-minded way his thumb started rubbing small circles against my leg making my head spin. 

I glared at him, my heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of my chest. “You don’t get to tell me what to do,” I hissed, my voice low enough that no one around us could hear, but filled with the venom I couldn’t keep in anymore.

Matt’s other arm came around me then, pulling me closer, almost as if he were trying to shield me from something—or maybe himself. His grip on my thigh didn’t loosen, but his body pressed against mine, warm and steady even as tension radiated off him. His jaw clenched, and I could see the way his chest rose and fell, like he was trying to steady his breathing.

Matt’s grip on my thigh stayed firm, his thumb brushing slow, deliberate circles against my skin. His voice dropped lower, almost a whisper, as he leaned in even closer. “Stop,” he said again, through gritted teeth. “Just… cut it out. Please.”

The word "please" hit me harder than anything else he’d said. It wasn’t just the frustration in his voice—it was the way it cracked slightly, like he was holding something back. It was enough to snuff out the fire in my chest, leaving behind a heavy ache that I couldn’t push away.

I didn’t fight him this time. I couldn’t. My shoulders sagged slightly, and I let my gaze fall to the table, avoiding his eyes. The weight of his hand on my thigh, the slow, steady rhythm of his thumb, and the warmth of his arm around me all worked together to chip away at my anger.

It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. But in that moment, I didn’t have the energy to argue anymore. So I stayed still, letting the tension hang between us like a fragile thread, waiting for it to snap.

By the time dessert came, the energy shifted back to playful despite me and matts moment of tension.

Nick ordered the largest slice of cake on the menu, claiming it was “for the table” but proceeding to eat most of it himself. Matt stole a bite, earning a loud protest from Nick, and Charlie and Chris were too wrapped up in their own world to notice.

As we left the restaurant, the night air was cool and refreshing. Charlie hooked her arm through mine as we walked back to the airbnb. 

“This trip’s been pretty great so far,” she said quietly, glancing at me with a smile.

I nodded, my thoughts briefly flickering to Matt walking a few steps ahead, laughing at something Chris said. “Yeah,” I agreed. “It really has.”

When we walked up to the house, everyone dispersed quickly. Charlie and Chris headed for the kitchen, Nick grabbed his camera, and Matt… Matt grabbed my wrist as I tried to follow Charlie.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice hoarse. “Can we talk? Upstairs?”

I hesitated, the lump in my throat making it hard to answer, but I nodded.

Matt led the way, his steps heavy as he climbed the stairs. He didn’t say a word as he opened the door to his room, holding it for me before shutting it behind us. The click of the lock sent a shiver down my spine.

I stood awkwardly by the bed as he ran a hand through his hair, pacing a little before sitting heavily on the edge.

“Why do you keep doing this?” he finally asked, his voice cracking on the last word. He looked up at me, his eyes red-rimmed, and the sight made my stomach churn.

“Doing what?” I asked softly, though I already knew.

“This… this thing where you pull me in and then push me away,” he said, his hands gesturing helplessly. “Where you make me feel like maybe, just maybe, I didn’t fuck everything up, and then remind me that I did.”

I swallowed hard, my fingers fidgeting at my sides. “I’m not trying to—”

“Yes, you are!” he interrupted, his voice louder now. “You think I don’t notice? You think I don’t see the way you look at me, the way you let me touch you, like I still mean something to you? And then you say things like… like what you said at the bar. Like it’s just some vacation fling, like none of this matters.”

“Because it can’t matter, Matt!” I snapped, my voice breaking under the weight of my emotions. “It can’t. Not after what you did.”

His face crumpled, and he pressed his palms to his eyes, his shoulders shaking. “I know I hurt you. I know I left. And I’ve spent every single day since then wishing I could take it back. But I can’t, Y/N. I can’t change what I did. All I can do is try to make it right, but you won’t let me.”

Tears blurred my vision as I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold myself together. “You don’t get to just come back and act like everything’s fine. You left me, Matt. You broke me. And now you want me to forget all of that because you’re sorry? That’s not how it works.”

He stood abruptly, his chest heaving as he closed the space between us. “I’m not asking you to forget. I’m asking you to let me prove to you that I’m not the same guy who walked away. I’m asking you to give me a chance to fix this.”

I shook my head, a sob escaping my lips. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again.”

Matt’s face crumpled, and for the first time, I saw tears streaking down his cheeks. He reached out, hesitating before his hands landed gently on my shoulders. “Please,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “Please, Y/N. I don’t care if it takes years. I’ll wait. I’ll wait for as long as it takes because you’re it for me. You’ve always been it.”

His words broke something inside me, and before I could stop myself, I was crying harder, my hands clutching at his shirt as he pulled me into his arms. His sobs mixed with mine, and we stood there, holding onto each other like we were the only thing keeping the other from falling apart.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you, The funny thing is I would have married you if you had stuck around.” I whispered into his chest.

“I’ll never stop trying.” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

tag-

@tbfaptbfae @ch0llies @2muchofaslvt @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @mattscore @watercolorskyy @urfungi @sturnsvelocity @mattsturnii @christmastreecake @izzylovesmatt @larnieboox88 @christophersstar @realuvrrr @namelesssav @matts-girlfriend

[stars4noah]

HALLEY'S COMET- four.

{WARNINGS}: arguing, drinking, kissing (i think that's all??)

w.c- 2,760

a.n- this chapter takes a WILD turn towards the end. i'm super excited for how you guys like it!

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob @dontwantthemoney @n0n3xsisting

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"

i woke up with a soft groan, my eyes fluttering open. i looked around, my vision slightly blurry as i tried to assess who the hell was calling my name.

"jesus christ, fucking finally." folio huffed. "do you know where noah is?"

"what? he was just-" i looked up from where i was laying, seeing an empty spot beside me. i furrowed my brows.

"he was here. we fell asleep watching naruto." i said.

"right, well he isn't anymore. we had a rehearsal today and he's not here. no note, no text, and his location is off.''

just like last time.

overcome with sudden anger, i got up and threw the blanket off of me, grabbing my bag. i knew this was a mistake. i knew i never should've let that fucker back in my life. i really thought he would change. how stupid.

"woah, kid, where are you going?" folio asked, confused by my haste.

"i'm fucking leaving. tell noah he can leave me the hell alone. i did this once, i am not doing it again." i snapped as i left the studio, getting in my car and speeding off.

NOAH'S POV.

[y/n] had fallen asleep in the middle of us watching naruto last night. i didn't have the heart to wake her up or move her, so i gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and went home. she wouldn't mind, right?

i was at my computer in my room, streaming some games when my phone went off next to me. i furrowed my brows and leaned back in my chair, noticing a very long message from folio.

folio: where the fuck were you today, dude? we had rehearsal to record some shit and you weren't there. not to mention when i woke [y/n] up from the couch to ask where the hell you were, she stormed out and looked extremely pissed and told me to tell you to leave her the hell alone. i don't know what the fuck happened, but you need to fix it. fast. we just got her back, we can't lose her again.

i cursed, quickly ending the stream and pulling on a hoodie and some shoes, running out to my car and speeding off to [y/n]'s house. yeah, she told me to 'leave her the hell alone,' but there's no way in hell i'm doing that. not again. not after i just got her back.

i ran up to the front door, banging on it harshly. she opened it, and when she saw my face, immediately went to go close it again.

READER'S POV.

just when i had started recovering from everything, him leaving me again made me fall back into that pit of despair. multiple bottles laid out in front of me, and i just stared at the wall. until there was a loud banging on my front door.

"damn, where's the fire?" i muttered. as i got off the couch to go open the door, only to be met with the one face i didn't want to see at the moment.

i huffed, moving to close the door again without a word, but he pushed it open.

"no, i'm not letting you shut me out like last time." he said, walking inside.

"noah, go away. you've already made it clear you don't want me in your life. why do you keep coming back if all you're going to do is leave again?"

he looked at me. "that's what this is all about? because i left the studio while you were sleeping?"

"yes! you left. no note, no text, and your fucking location was off!"

noah scoffed. "you're acting like an obsessive girlfriend."

i raised my eyebrows. "really? obsessive girlfriend because i get hurt when you leave with no word? news flash, noah, it's called being worried! i trusted you not to leave. i thought after everything that happened yesterday, we could move on and be friends, but you just up and left without a word! now i don't give a shit about any of your excuses. this is the second time you've done this shit, and i'm done. done!" i yelled

noah, stood there, stunned. "princess, i-"

"don't fucking call me that! i don't want to see you, i don't want to hear you, i don't want to be near you. just fucking leave me alone!" i yelled, tears streaming down my face.

"jesus christ, [y/n], would you fucking listen for five seconds!?" he snapped.

i clenched my jaw. "what, noah? what could you possibly have to say that is so important in this moment?"

he sighed, sitting down and running his hands through his long brown hair. the hair i just wanted to sit down and run my hands through, soothe all his worries. but how could i do that when he couldn't even soothe mine about him leaving?

"listen, the first time i left, i got a text from alyssa."

"who?"

"my gir- ex girlfriend." he said "why is that relevant?"

"she cheated on me. i thought that maybe she called me to try and fix things. you know, make amends. show me she was different, that she could change. when i got there, she was practically begging on her knees for me to stay. and as much as it hurt, i said no. i left."

"why?" i asked

he clenched his jaw, and it was obvious he was debating on whether or not he should tell me.

i sat down beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. this wasn't about our argument anymore. he needed someone to talk to. a friend.

when he told me the story, it was like all of the puzzle pieces in my mind seemed to click together.

he didn't want to leave. neither times that he left did he want to. but he had to. because there was this nagging voice in his mind telling him that everyone was the same, that they would all hurt him.

that he was nothing.

and i understood. sometimes, i had that voice too. the one that told me i would never be good enough for anybody. that i would never have the future i dreamed of. and when that happened, i would call nicholas, and he would talk to me about it or try to distract me from it.

and that's what noah needed.

not a distraction, because it seemed that was all he had been doing over the past few months was distracting himself from his problems. but he needed to talk to someone about it. someone who wouldn't judge him for his problems.

"i won't judge you, noah. you can tell me." i said softly, all anger from our earlier argument pushed aside in this moment.

"i was- am- in love with another woman. fuck, i don't even know at this point. everything is so complicated." he said.

i ignored the pit of jealousy forming in my stomach and nodded, allowing him to continue.

"alyssa was abusive. physically and mentally. i stayed with her for years, afraid to move on and try to start over. because i hate change. i've always been the kind of person to try and keep things exactly the way they are forever, y'know?" i nodded again. "but then keaton sent me a picture of her kissing another dude at the mall while we were out on tour. and the others had been telling me for years to break up with her, to leave and try and move on. but she was all i had, [y/n]. i felt like i would be reduced to nothing when i left her. and a little bit before i broke up with her, i realized something. i was in love with another woman. the way she moved, the way she spoke, the way she laughed when one of us said something funny. i wanted to be around her at all times. i wanted to be the one to make her laugh, to cheer her up when she was sad, to love and hold her in the night. and i'm trying to show her that, i really am. but every time i get close enough and gain that little slither of confidence i need to show her how much i care, something fucking happens and i screw it all up and we go back to hating each other. and it hurts, because i love her, and all i want is for her to know how much i love her." he said, and i noticed the tears streaming down his face. as much as my heart yearned for that woman to be me, i just wanted him to be happy, even if it was at the cost of losing him again. if he was truly happy, then i was happy.

"well, noah, first of all, i think you should take a break. from everything. music, touring, socials. all of it. give yourself a fresh start, a breather. a moment to figure out what it is that you want for yourself, not what other people want for you. and then after you've done that, show her that you care. that you love her. build up that relationship gradually until you know it's time to tell her how you really feel. but i just want to say this. stop disappearing. stop leaving. it's okay to feel vulnerable. it's okay to have feelings, and to cry. but it's not okay to abandon the people who care about you."

noah finally looked up at me, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "i'm so sorry, [y/n]. please, you have to forgive me."

i wanted to forgive him. i wanted to throw caution to the wind and kiss those beautiful lips and tell him that everything would be okay. but i couldn't.

"i know you are, noah. i know. but just like you, i need time to myself. to figure out who i want to be. this isn't goodbye, this is just see you later. okay?"

he nodded, a single tear slipping down his cheek, and i hugged him.

noah left that night, his heart heavy in his chest as he walked out of my door. it pained me to let him go, but i knew it was for the better. it was what we both needed to be happy. to let go. to move on.

it was nearly a year later before i saw him again. we still talked occasionally, but not very often. just simple messages, checking up on each other.

my career in music took off. i released my first album titled Happier Than Ever, and noah released his titled The Death of Peace of Mind, though his was a bit before mine.

i didn't try to date anyone. didn't try to hook up or have a casual fling or anything of the sorts. my focus was solely on my music and my career. that was all i cared about at the moment, and to be honest, it helped me let go of a lot of things.

i invited noah to my album release party, and he told me that he and the others would try their best to make it there. i had seen the other three in person a couple times, but i never really saw noah. from what i've heard from others, he's changed a lot.

two of noah's friends had made it to the party, bryan, their photographer, and matt, their tour manager. i was talking to one of my old friends when matt came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder, snatching my attention as he whispered something in my ear.

"noah's here."

my breath caught in my throat and i nodded, excusing myself from the conversation. a ton of different memories hit me all at once, but one stood out from all the rest.

i missed him. so fucking much.

and i loved him.

i looked around, trying to spot that familiar head of hair. there weren't very many people; only close friends and family, so i furrowed my brows when i couldn't see him, until i heard his voice.

"hey, princess." he spoke from behind me, and i whipped my body around to face him, my breath halting for a moment.

holy.

fucking.

shit.

to say he was hotter than hell was a bit of an understatement. he'd gotten taller, and definitely stronger. he'd been working out, i could tell. and that beautiful brown hair that i had grown oh so fond of had been chopped short.

"noah." i said, and he laughed softly. "don't start drooling."

i laughed, shaking my head as i pulled him into a short hug. "sorry, you just look really fucking good. you cut your hair." i said, my fingers brushing the ends as if my touch alone would make it grow back.

he nodded. "yeah, decided it was time for a change. they say hair holds memories, and all that held memories i would rather forget." he said, and i nodded in understanding.

it felt like a fresh start. he was different, looks and personality wise, and so was i.

"you look really good, too." he said, giving me a look over as i did a little twirl with a soft laugh.

"thank you. i thought a little makeover was due. especially to fit the theme of the album." i said, and he nodded.

"i haven't heard it yet. wanted to save it for when i got here. like a little surprise, you know?" and i nodded as the first song started playing over the speakers of my house, and him and i went to go outside and talk.

"i'm getting older, i think i'm aging well. i wish someone had told me i'd be doing this by myself."

"so, how's everything going with mystery girl?" i asked, and he furrowed his brows in confusion as it dawned on him.

"oh, her." he rubbed the back of his neck. "uh, we haven't really talked in a while. been taking time for myself, like you said." i smiled softly. "smart man."

"i'm not sentimental but there's something 'bout the way you look tonight. makes me wanna take a picture, make a movie with you that we'd have to hide."

what an understatement, i thought. noah raised his eyebrows at the lyrics, looking at me with a small smirk. i shrugged.

"do you think you're gonna make a move on her soon?" i asked.

"i might tonight, actually after the party."

i hummed, nodding my head and ignoring the jealousy that began to bubble up again. "how?"

"well," he began, looking at me and leaning closer. "i was thinking, i would take her upstairs, and-"

"[y/n]!!" nicholas exclaimed, approaching us.

NOAH'S POV.

i groaned, throwing my head back. just as i was about to make a move, we got interrupted. i watched [y/n] stand up with a smile on her face as she hugged nicholas, the memory of what was just about to happen seeming to disappear from her mind, though it lingered in mine.

if i didn't get to have her tonight, i didn't know if i ever would.

i'm so fucked.

i ran a hand through my hair, watching as nick and [y/n] spoke, before eventually, i couldn't take it anymore. i apologized to nick, taking [y/n]'s hand and dragging her upstairs.

"noah? what-" she began as i pulled her into her bedroom, closing and locking the door before pressing her up against it and pressing my lips to hers.

i could tell she was shocked. she put her hands on my chest, pushing lightly. "noah, what about-"

"you're her." i said

"what?"

"you're her, princess. you're the woman i was in love with. the woman i'm still in love with. fuck, i thought taking time would make these stupid feelings go away but the moment i saw you in this fucking dress i couldn't take it anymore. i need you, [y/n]. will you have me?"

she was quiet for a moment before she nodded slowly. "yes."

[lucielifer]

Bad decision, baby

Pairing: Dean Winchester/reader

Content warning: mentions of prodomal schizophrenia, suicidal ideation, dissociation, attempted suicide, fluff, angst (duh), hopelessness, no use of Y/N, mentions of violence. Slightly inspired by mandela catalogue if you squint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn’t want to admit that she enjoyed that the melancholy was palpable. It made her certain that she was alive, if only for the weight she carried with each breath. The cold, silent winter breeze that just barely rustled the leaves around her if you really listened; the slight chill that tingled my bare arms. She should’ve brought a jacket; but it wouldn’t have changed anything.

Her eyelids fell closed as she sucked in the presence of everything around her as if she was trying to remember it which, to be fair, she is. Her head felt especially calm while she focused on her senses: the smell of the grass, stale cigarette smoke and asphalt; the sound of her breathing and the, occasional, alert calls of birds as they sat in the trees; the cold nibble of wind on her skin, the stickiness of the metal; and, when she parted her jaws, the taste of the night lingered right on the tip of her tongue-- the good things that tried to pull her backwards, back to the warmth and comfort of her home, back to him instead of this hellscape.

She left him while they were sleeping, resting on his chest, his hand cupping her jaw as they lay with their noses pressed against each other. She wasn’t asleep that night, staring at as much of his face as she could. He smelled like home-- like love and safety and a brightness that enveloped her whole-- like her most favorite memory. That’s what made it harder to leave, what made every bone ache as she slipped out from under his grip onto the soft plush of their carpet. He hated that carpet, but she fell in love with it, so he caved and bought it. It didn’t match anything in their room in the slightest; but to her, that just made it more special.

“De, look at this thing!” She barked with surprised glee, her hand shooting out to push the hangers away from the, frankly ugly light brown carpet. It was obviously old-- frayed and faded patterns etched into the carefully woven fabric-- but it looked very well-loved.

He had come up behind her, an arm draped over her waist because he just couldn’t stand to not touch her in some way, “What?” He had said into her ear, his head tilted down to press a kiss to the side of her temple while he peered at the carpet in her hands through the corner of his eye.

“Can we get this?” She asked, tilting her head backwards so she could look up at his face, her grin splitting her face the second their eyes connected.

“This is what you want?” He scoffed, raising an eyebrow as he used his free hand to grab her wrist, pulling the carpet back so he could take a better look, “Why this one?”

“Look at it!” She tried to defend, looking back down so she could grab the hanger and pull it off the hook, turning the fabric in her hands. The pattern, albeit faded, was charming-- the old feel of the woven fabric scratching against her fingers.

“I am looking at it, baby. It’s ugly.” Dean had said with a laugh, shaking his head as he gave her another kiss and pulled away-- his hand resting on the small of her back. She pouted, rolling her eyes as she slung it over her elbow.

“If we don’t take it, no one will.” Was all she responded with, giving him one of her grins while she stepped out of his grip and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the aisle. She could hear the rough exhale of his breath, his free hand moving to cup the back of her neck while they walked, squeezing her scruff and making her squeal with a laugh. She had turned to look up at him, meeting his smiling face with her own before she let go of his hand in favor of letting him lead their way.

The memory left a bitter twinge in her mouth while she went to slip on her shoes as fast as she could-- just so she didn’t have to feel the carpet on her toes. It’s astonishing how quickly things can go from good to bad. It was like that carpet was the beginning of a timer, counting down the end.

Nothing had caused it, per se; but, before she knew it, everything around her was just dimmed and diluted just like the carpet. She had this constant weight on her chest, hardening her breaths whenever she inhaled. The crushing weight of loneliness and sorrow. Everything just became further away-- just barely out of her reach-- isolating her from everything around her. Even his touch felt fuzzy, like it was imaginary even though it was, undoubtedly, very real. She stopped going to her classes and no amount of bargaining or pleading Dean could do would tempt her away from the cocoon of their bed. She was letting herself just fade, staying in bed and staring off into the distance.

Eventually, she knew it was starting to hurt Dean more and more. Every meal skipped, every question that would go unanswered.

“Just tell me how to help you.” Dean had said earnestly earlier that night. He made her tomato soup, the cup lying forgotten on the bedside table when Dean knelt to his knees, petting her cheek as he tried to get her to meet his gaze. She stayed quiet, constantly trying to look anywhere else but at him.

“Sweetheart…” He whispered, pushing her hair out of her face. He knew she wouldn’t talk, she hadn’t in weeks, so he just looked down at her-- pity and guilt in his eyes while his thumb brushed over her eyelid. She felt him pull away, heard the sound of him crawling into bed, the dip of the mattress as he slid into place behind her. She moved instantly, turning around so she could lay her head on his chest, her arm falling over his stomach while he turned his head to nuzzle into her hair.

She wanted to go back to him, wanted to feel his warmth chase away all the bad thoughts and feelings in her head. Shadows danced in the corner of her vision, in the spots where it was the darkest, and with it returned the gnawing presence that was permanently burnt into the back of her neck, gone when she tried to look. It was draining her-- the fear that just wouldn’t go away no matter what she did. She couldn’t sleep because of it, the second her eyes would close she’d either forget how to breathe, or her eyes would instinctively snap back open. She was afraid of sleeping, afraid of leaving the room, afraid of everything around her.

This happened sometimes, this state of depressive psychosis. It was worse every time, and always came about at the most unsuspecting moments. Tonight, though, it’s leaving her with a voice in the back of her mind that just screamed at her to run, run, run.

She didn’t even change her clothes, slipping on her slippers before ducking out of the room silently. Her mind was racing-- a hand pressed to her chest while she went into the restroom. Everything was so loud, so heavy, the need to just make everything shut the fuck up pounding on her head and heart as if she were trapped-- banging on the walls of this prison until her knuckles were bleeding and deformed. Her hands were shaking as she pulled open the medicine cabinet, grabbing something and pushing the bottle into her pocket. It sounded full, the low clatter of pills jostling around while she turned on her heel to leave. She couldn’t resist the cracked open door of their bedroom, pausing outside of it to glance in and watch the way Dean had moved to clutch at her pillow-- as if she were still there.

As soon as she got outside, it was like all hell broke loose for her. Everything just swallowed her whole, making her take in a sharp inhale as she pressed her hand against the wall to keep her upright. It all felt like a thick, heavy fog that choked when she breathed it in-- the endless void of cold air and darkness pressing in from all sides. Everything crowded her with cruel hands, forcing her to be even smaller than the world around her while she tried to reign in her breathing. The world was quiet, but the night wasn’t. It breathed around her, alive with sounds she couldn’t focus on for long enough to make sense of them, rustling and whispering noises that were too coincidental, too deliberate. It all just felt wrong, like it was all sentient. Shadows weren’t just moving as the wind rustled, they lurched and shifted and sent jolts of static skittering along her nerves with sharp claws that scratched down the skin of her bare arms and legs.

She paused, taking her hand off the wall so she could cover her eyes, looking at the floor to try and block everything but her feet as she stepped over fallen leaves and stumbled down the stairs. Each step reverberated off the walls, bounding around her skull and mixing with the blood pumping in her ears. Her breathing hitched as she missed the last step, just barely catching herself on the handrail as she hunched herself over it. She felt like she was going to gag, she was going to choke on the fog and everything she was trying to ignore-- for just long enough that she could get to where she wanted to go-- was going to tear into her with jagged teeth and screaming and silence all at the same time. The streetlights hummed louder than they should, an electric drone that pierced through the sounds and murmuring voices in her mind that she couldn’t quite make out.

Run. The sharpness of one voice cut through-- her voice, but not her voice-- commanding and piercing and making her cover her ears. It’ll hurt you, haven’t you learned already? Her nails dug into her scalp, grounding her with the dull sting of pain before she growled to herself and got up from the handrail-- her fists clenched at her sides while she walked faster. He’ll find you if you don’t run. Who will find her? Dean? Something else?

A flicker of movement accompanied the voice but, when her head snapped to the side as she stumbled and turned to face the noise mid-step, it was gone. She walked faster instinctively, her nails digging into her palms providing a constant throb she could hold onto. Things kept following her-- chasing her. The parked cars and their fogged windows filled with her dread, no longer empty; but empty. Like there might be something there if she looked. Nothing was worth the risk. Her breath quickened as she broke into a jog, her eyes facing forward but not really looking at where she was going.

By the time she reached the park-- her park-- her chest was heaving, everything was crowding her mind with overcrowded whispers and sensations. She didn’t even feel cold anymore, a bead of cold sweat falling down her brow, coincidentally, intentionally, right when she moved to rub at her face. Pulling it back, she hitched in a breath when she thought she saw something standing by the bench barely visible between the trees. It was gone when she focused on it; but she saw it, she saw something. Her feet drug her forward, toward the bench like they had a mind of her own. She felt dull, empty, like a passive observer. It was the only way she could shut everything out.

Don’t you know how this ends?

The voice whispered, it’s voice sounding like the combined, melodic tune of a choir-- with bass and alto and soprano and tenor, like every voice she’d ever heard was speaking at one time. Her heart pounded, but she continued on, her slippers brushing over the wet grass and ticking the skin on the sides of her feet. By the time she reached the bench, everything just shut off when her hand met the dew that seemed to move unnaturally, like liquid mercury pooling and spilling along its edges. The silence was more deafening than everything else. It cut off like the shut down of an old tv and everything felt louder; the crickets and birds and the vague drone of cars and sparse night-life. She recoiled at the noises, at the feeling of the metal on her palm that stung her skin like flame, but forced herself to sit.

Her head tipped backwards, mouth agape as her eyelids fluttered closed; but even behind her lids, the shadows swirled in patterns of kaleidoscopes that reminded her of the unsettling feeling of not being alone. The sky above-- the trees that blanketed over her-- was a suffocating abyss, making her feel like she was hovering just above the bench, not quite touching while the darkness was fractured by cracks of faint light she knew wasn’t real. She tried to pull herself back into her senses-- breathe, focus, ground-- but the presence stabbed the back of her neck, slowly growing heavier.

She knew the silence was intentional, like she came back to earth just enough so that everything would feel okay. She felt her pulse race again, felt the weight of the pills in her pocket burn like they were some protective charm-- activated by the theoretical presence of the stalker.

Do it. Don’t open your eyes. See it-- see him. Put it to an end. Don’t open your eyes. Look at him. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Do it. DO IT. DO IT. LOOK AT ME.

The voice cut in with a commanding, loud scream in her skull, making her whimper, pulling her knees to her chest while she curled into a ball against the corner of the bench, her breathing heavy and ragged while she sobbed. She couldn’t take it, everything was too much. She had never felt this terrified in her life. The distance of all her senses felt more foreboding-- like a threat. She could feel the presence right in front of her face now, breathing on her skin loud enough that she trembled-- every nerve pulsating with life and making her skin tingle. She couldn’t look now that she was certain the man in the corner of her awareness was right in front of her face. Watching her. She couldn’t look, she couldn’t risk allowing it to become real. She didn’t want to know whether or not this was actually happening, she didn’t want to be exposed.

Her hand reached into her pocket, wrapping around the pill bottle and holding onto it tightly, like it would protect her. The breathing in her ears was interrupted by her own, fast and desperate while she sobbed and whimpered. She did not want to see what was on the other side of her eyelids, but it was calling to her.

Open your ey-ey-ey-ey-eyes. See-e me.

She sat up, her eyes still closed while she pulled out the bottle-- sobs filling the silence. Her hands went to unscrew the cap, but then hands wrapped around her wrists.

“Let go of me!” She yelled, her body thrashing against a grip that was suddenly very real. “Don't touch me-- don't-- please--” She sobbed, sucking in a breath too large for her lungs while her back slammed against the bench and pinned her down. She needed to fight, she needed to keep her eyes closed, she needed to defend herself. But was she? Or was she stalling.

Look at me! Come on! Look at me! You're safe, I promise you you're safe. I won't hu-ur-t you. I’ll never hurt you. I love you. Baby, I love you. Open your eyes. You’re okay.

“SHUT UP!” She screamed, kicking her legs out and being met with a wall of flesh.

“No, no, no no no, no-- stop! Stop!” She howled.

“STOP!” The voice rang out, arms wrapping around her waist-- pinning her arms to her sides, sending the bottle of pills crashing to the ground. She was pulled closer, the large mass bending her knees inward until they were pinned to her chest with their bodies.

She sobbed, her head spinning with a white light while noises and sounds and feelings all crunched and malformed her bone structure against her will. She continued to fight, continued to try and scratch and claw anywhere she could reach; but it was too strong. This was it, this was the end. Nothing felt real, but the air had changed. She told herself it was all in her head—just stress, just the weight of everything building up—but deep down, the certainty that something had shifted, something fundamental, gnawed at her, impossible to shake.

Then she felt like she was floating, her ribs aching as she was pulled and thrown down to the floor, arms and legs wrapping around her frame. It suffocated her. The vague feeling of warmth on the back of her neck, squeezing at the scruff of her neck while another limb wrapped around her back and held her close. It felt like something was on her, weight sitting on top of her thighs and keeping her from moving while the hand on her neck tangled into her hair.

“It's okay..” The voice said, brighter than it was before, a hand rubbing over the sharp knuckles of her spine. The touch felt different, warm. The voice wasn't a pounding in her skull, it was soft and enveloping. Her mind tried to tell her it was wrong, a trick.

Don't you know how this ends already? He can't save you. You're going to be mine. There isn't enough room for the both of us.

She sobbed and spoke under her breath, quiet pleading for her safety.

“I know, Baby. I know. It's going to be okay.” It whispered back, the hand on the back of her head forcing her face into the crook of their neck. The scent was intoxicating, making her fall still and her eyes snap open as the familiarity washed over her. She felt their breath hitch, the large hand stilling its’ petting movements on the back of her head and neck-- like it was waiting for her. Then, her arms shot out, wrapping around and accepting the comfort wholly while she buried her face in its neck again. Her hand cupped where she thought the face would be, her thumb brushing over stubble before grabbing onto hair.

“It's okay. It's Dean. It's just me. You're okay. I’m here for you, baby.” It-- Dean-- cooed, making her melt in his arms while her chest wracked with sobs. She breathed in his scent: sandalwood and a hint of spice that made her nose tickle.

“I’m scared.” She whimpered, the limb around her back moving to hold the back of her neck while the other hand carded through her hair and caressed her cheek.

“I know, baby. It’s going to be okay.” He said, pressing a kiss to the side of her temple.

Everything was already starting to feel okay. She suddenly didn't hear any voices, didn't feel foreboding presences circling around her like vultures-- waiting for the moment she gave in to strike. All she could focus on was him, of his safety and warmth. He continued to whisper in her ears, moving his head to either side of hers so he could ground her while his hands continued to move over her body.

It took a while, a long while of whispered words describing the things around them, reasurances and praises-- “That’a girl. You're okay. You're doing so good, I’m so proud of you, Sweetheart.” Eventually, her breathing slowed to a manageable pace, her arm wrapped tightly around the back of his neck while her wide open eyes scanned everything around them. She didn't see anything, she didn't hear anything except for him-- she felt safe.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, a quick movement of the hand in her hair pulling her head backwards until she was face-to-face with Dean for the first time. His eyes were red-rimmed, thin scratches on his face and a small bruise on his cheek bone.

“It’s okay, honey. You have nothing to be--”

“I hurt you.” She whispered, cutting off his words as her hands moved to cup his face and be swallowed by guilt and fear.

“It's okay. I promise. It’ll heal.” He whispered back, pushing their foreheads together while they looked into each other’s eyes, “It’s you I care about right now. Are you okay, baby?”

She had to take a moment to respond, just looking at him as their noses pushed together. Was she okay? Could she be okay again? Did she look at the figure in the shadows? Would the voices come back now that they know she’ll listen? Would--

“Hey, baby. Look at me.” Dean said, moving his face back in front of hers the second things started to spiral again.

“Tell me what's going on,” He said, holding onto her face with both hands and forcing her to only look at him. At the green hue of his eyes in the darkness.

“Everything,” she said with a whisper, her voice breaking as her hands covered his own, “Everything scares me. Everything feels wrong and evil and I’m scared.” She whimpered, watching Dean’s face as his eyebrows creased.

“Tell me what you feel, baby.” He urged, closing his eyes briefly as he sucked in a breath-- she instinctively knew to copy him.

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to copy the slow rise and fall of his chest.

“It’s cold.” She whispered, her lips parting as she tried to focus on her senses.

“Okay. It’s cold,” Dean agreed, his thumbs brushing over her cheekbones, “Am I cold?” He asked in a whisper, pressing a kiss on the bridge of her nose.

“N-no you’re-- you're warm.”

“Does that scare you?”

“No.” She answered honestly, breathing out a sigh and nuzzling her nose against his.

“What else do you feel? Can you hear me?” He continued, trying to get her to focus on him and herself.

“I hear you.”

“Good. I love you, you know that, right?” He spoke, pulling back a little bit so he could see her fully-- ignoring the way she just looked hollow, “I love you so much. Do you know that?” He said, pushing her hair off of her forehead.

“I don't care if you're broken,” he continued, “if you're scared. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always be here to remind you you're okay.” He said quietly, his voice earnest while he read her face.

Her lips pulled back with a whimper, her face leaning into his hands, “I know. I’m sorry. I love you so much.” She said with a quiet sob, holding onto the backs of his hands for support.

“It's just so scary. Everything feels wrong and deliberate. Like there’s just always something there just waiting and watching me. And the voices I--” She cut herself off, her eyes fluttering shut as she flinched back from just the thought alone.

“They wouldn't stop.”

Dean was quiet for a moment, looking down at her with a look of helplessness that was just hidden under his tenderness. One of his hands slid over her cheek, down the side of her neck, her bare arms, until his fingers interlocked with hers.

“Let's go home, yeah? Let's get you warmed up, baby.” He said with a soft smile as he got up from her lap-- where he was straddling her waist to keep her from hurting herself or him. Her head still felt cloudy, she still felt dazed while fear tinged at the edge of her peripherals. She didn't fight back as he let go of her face, his free hand hooking under her armpit as he lifted her to her feet. Once they were standing, he pulled her into his arms again, pushing his face into her hair while he guided her arms around his waist.

“I got you now. I promise. We’re gonna make everything okay, okay? We’re gonna get you some help.” He reassured her with a quiet whisper in her ear while his arms enveloped her completely.

“Okay, Dean.” She agreed as her head tucked under his chin.

“Can you walk, baby? Or do you want me to carry you?” He said, his voice soft-- lacking any judgment or scrutiny. He was always so warm to her, softer with her than anyone else. He was so attentive, remembering all her favorite things, favorite spots to be touched, all the small things that made her swoon and moan and relax all at the same time. He always made her feel so loved. Especially at night, when his lips kissed every inch of her skin like he was trying to commit her to memory, every time finding something new that made her sigh or mewl.

She had to keep reminding herself of these things, saying them louder in her head the second things started to feel wrong again.

“Can you carry me?” She asked quietly, already letting go of his waist so she could stand on her tip toes and put her arms around his neck.

“Okay, baby. I’ll carry you.” He whispered, kissing the top of her head before his arm snaked around her back, his other hand moving to cup the swell of her ass.

“Come on. Up.” He said with a small smile, giving her ass a gentle pat until she jumped up eagerly, her legs wrapping around his waist and her arms pulling her closer to his chest. He held her effortlessly, his hand under her gripping her while he started to walk toward-- where she assumed-- was his car.

They stayed silent as they walked, her eyes wide as she watched his back-- trying to make sure nothing was following them. His hands occasionally wandered, but kept her pressed to his chest even as he let go to open the passenger door.

“Come on, baby. I’m gonna put you down, okay?” He whispered against her head while he grabbed onto her waist.

She whimpered at the thought, holding onto him tighter as she whimpered out her rejections.

“It's only for a second. I promise. Can you get down for me, Sweetheart?” He urged, pulling back so he could look down at her.

She worried her lip before nodding hesitantly before she unraveled herself from his grip with his help.

“Good girl.” He said with a smile as he gently guided her into the car.

Once she was sat, her ducked his head inside, holding the side of her face while he pulled her closer to kiss her cheek, “I’ll be right there, okay? Here--” He said gently, pulling back so he could shrug off his jacket and drape it over her. He pulled away after he ghosted his knuckle over her cheek, rounding the front of the Impala and sliding into the driver's seat before she even had a chance to miss his presence.

Thanks for reading 💕 tell me if you want more. I got at LEAST another chapter simmering in my brain--waiting for praise to be written, lol

[terioncalling]

You Are Real and So Am I

I had been not going to actually write anything yet with my first Rook until I worked on some other things fanfic-wise but this hit while reading something and I had to bang it out. It may get changed up later but here's what it is for now.

"You were never ready to make the sacrifices that leadership requires."

Solas' words rang through Ambrose's head as he sat on one of the other cots, staring at the one that until hours ago he had considered Varric's. And it was Varric's…just not in the way he had been seeing it. There was Varric's coat…and his book…and poor broken Bianca on the table beside it…but no Varric. There had never been a Varric in the Lighthouse.

"How could I know if I was or not?" he muttered bitterly out loud. "When you never let me see everything, you fucking bastard?"

Yet…looking back now, Ambrose could see all the spots where things were wrong. Where he heard Varric but no one else seemed to. And after living three parts of his life before where he had been manipulated in one way or another - first by his family, then by the Circle, then by the Wardens - he was shocked that he had been so blindsided by this one. Then again…he had been up against an Elven god.

"And don't know sacrifice?" he hissed, suddenly refinding his anger at everything that had happened as a tangled knot in his chest that felt like it was pressing on his lungs. "I don't know sacrifice? All Wardens are is sacrifice and I knew that from the moment I chose them!"

"You didn't even let me mourn!" Ambrose snarled, fingers curling into his hair as he curled into himself as if to contain the mounting fury inside of him before it could escape.

"Rook?"

Ambrose's head snapped up at the soft voice from the door and he let his hands falls listlessly to rest on his thighs as he breathed, "Hey, Harding."

"You should be resting," she commented as she moved into the room, gently placing her hand on the end of the cot. Then she frowned and added, "But I'm guessing that that brain of yours is running wild after everything, isn't it?"

He snorted and replied bitterly, "Like a mage with a templar on their heels."

Harding's mouth quirked into the start of a smile but never solidified fully into one. She knew too well that he'd been just a kid just younger than her when the Circles had fallen and the Mage Templar War had raged and that he had run with more than one templar on his heels. He watched her eyes cant briefly over towards Varric's cot and then she sighed, moving her hand from the end of the one he was sitting on to his arm. "Ambrose," she said gently, her tone soft in that way it only went for him, "you need to rest."

Ambrose looked down at her hand on his arm - so small but stronger than he felt right now - and then bowed his head. He felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes as he hissed, "I don't want to sleep. If I sleep, I'll walk the Fade and I…I…" His voice hitched, his lungs feeling like they were compressing, and he gasped, "I'm afraid of being trapped there. Again."

"You're here," she insisted, moving to stand in front of him. He felt Harding's hands against his knees, pushing them open and he let her manipulate him, and then her arms were around his neck as her body leaned into his own. "You're safe here, with me," she breathed in his ear and Ambrose pulled her tight against him, burying his face into her shoulder.

"I didn't even know he was gone," he gasped, his voice breaking. "What else wasn't real if he wasn't?"

Harding's hands were on his face then, dragging him up to meet her eyes. "This is real," she said firmly, putting brief pressure through her palms. "We are. If you believe in nothing else, believe in that."

Ambrose stared at her for a long moment before he breathed, "Hit me with it."

"With…what?" The confusion then cleared her face and she hissed, "Ambrose, no!"

His hands shook as he brought them up to rest on her hips, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes. "Please," he begged softly. "I need…I need to not think. And I need to know this is real. That you're real and I'm here. The Fade couldn't hope to replicate what you do to me."

She sighed and then tilted her head down so she could kiss him briefly on the mouth, hissing, "Never again after this. I don't…I don't like hurting you."

"It doesn't hurt if it's you," he whispered without hesitation in reply.

"Fool man," Harding hissed but her tone showed clear fondness.

Then her mouth sealed over his and everything flashed bright blue inside of him and Ambrose was somewhere between falling and floating. He slumped over onto Harding and thought that maybe he gave her an apology - he was a big, brawny fellow, after all, and she was so small in comparison - but it turned into giggles as she manhandled him down onto his side on the cot he'd been sitting on. As she turned away, he grabbed for her wrist and asked, "Stay?"

"You need to sleep," she insisted, smoothing his hair back behind his ear.

"I sleep better with you near," Ambrose admitted.

Harding's face softened and she leaned down to softly kiss his forehead before she settled into a chair next to him. Ambrose reached for her hand, twining their fingers together before he pressed a long kiss to her fingertips and breathed, "You're really here."

She nodded and lifted their now joined hands to kiss his scarred knuckles, saying, "I have you, Ambrose. I promise."

He smiled broadly at her, and then finally, with her hand in his and the sharp pulse of her "rock stuff" power as Taash put it sparking through his body along every magical nerve like a pleasant drunkenness, Ambrose allowed himself to close his eyes and finally slept.

[sachermorte]

tell me why I'm meeting this girl for the second time and when we were talking about the possible fpö victory in the upcoming election she went "well roland should be fine. he'd blend in great with the far right" 💀💀💀

[foldingfittedsheets]

There was this park near where I grew up. I remember we’d just moved to the area so I was around six and we drove past and saw this waterfront area. My parents decided to check it out so we went for a walk. It was a lovely park, there’s a lazy slough, lots of trees, extremely picturesque. My parents ambled along the trail enjoying the nature while my siblings and I ranged around in their orbit like excitable moons.

Then I saw something odd. Something vibrantly alive down by the water that was entirely the wrong color. I called back my vital scouting info and my family gathered around me. We looked down the steep verge toward the slough, screened by underbrush. We couldn’t quite make out what it was. The only thing we could agree was that it certainly wasn’t a duck. However it was about duck sized and roughly duck shaped. It just wasn’t a duck.

This led to some heated debate amongst my siblings and I but we were forbidden to scramble down the muddy hill to harass the mystery animal. Reluctantly we continued down the trail, speculating wildly when a chicken popped out of a bush in front of us with a train of several chicks.

We froze. The chicken did not. She placidly herded her little puffs across the trail, pecking happily for seeds, unbothered by our proximity. My family had not yet delved into farming and this was the first time any of us kids had seen a chicken up close. It was like a fairytale thing, a creature we had seen over and over in books was suddenly here in the wilderness of the park. We all realized the mystery creature had likewise been a chicken.

Another couple came up the trail and saw us staring.

“Is this your first time at the park?” They asked?

We nodded.

They informed us that this park had become a dumping ground for unwanted chickens. Once the chickens were dumped they were park property and the locals didn’t mind the eccentric additions at all. No one looked after the chickens, but they got on surprisingly well.

As the years went by we visited the park regularly. Signs were added to warn people not to dump off chickens or they’d be fined. They were also excluded from snatching the existing chickens. The hope was that the chickens would eventually run their course and the park would go back to normal.

It did not.

Instead the menagerie grew. Peacocks cropped up occasionally, turkeys; and one visit we saw guinea fowl. But there were always chickens. Eventually feed dispenser were installed so park goers could pay a quarter to enjoy the motley flocks.

Because we’d moved into a house with land my mom started up a chicken coop and we got our very own chickens at the feed store like proper folks. The first rooster we had was a gentleman, politely clucking at us when came into the coop, but the second proved troublesome a year later. He either adored or hated me. Every time I entered the coop he’d dance and flounce and brandish his spurs.

My mom didn’t want to off him frankly she didn’t know how at that point but his fascination ended with him flying at me and the rooster was sentenced to banishment.

We drove to the park.

We saw him there for years afterward, clucking dutifully around a small flock of hens. He did pretty well in exile.

Anyone who’s kept chickens knows that eventually there’s always a tragedy. Ours happened when a neighbors dog broke into our coop and slaughtered the flock. I was absolutely distraught, my lovingly hand reared chicks all decimated in a flurry of senseless bloodlust. I have not loved a chicken since. They are too fragile to bear it.

After a few days of mourning my mom offered that she knew where to find some more chickens. To make up for the massacre she planned a night raid with us. We stayed up past our bedtime and drove to the park with tarp covered kennels in the back of the truck.

We crept down along the gravel parking lot, looking up into the trees, spotting the telltale lumps of shadows that meant chickens. We quickly developed a strategy. We picked a chicken branch, creeping close underneath. Then we reached the end of the branch and gave it a good shake until the roosting chicken glided down to the ground in confusion. It was easy to scoop them up and we went home the proud new owner of a handsome flock of chickens.

The Take a Chicken Leave a Chicken park is still a beloved feature of its neighborhood to this day.

[gravegoer]

What if we get like an internal monologue of just how much Sevika is into you? Like if it’s her first day as counselor and she sees you walking around the halls helping out as an assistant. She can’t help but think reader is so damn cute! Maybe even reader flirts a little from afar <3

Pretty Piltie ⋆˚✿

thank you anon, and yes i love this, this is very cute ! i went a little different for some plot but i hope you like it :) i also have a few more pirate sevika fics coming out so look out for those ! coming sometime this week :) masterlist

After her first day on the council, she saw you in the hallway, walking around with your clipboard in your face. (Definitely in a hurry)

She raised an eyebrow at the pep in your step and the carelessness of you flipping through pages while walking. Before she could even move to the side, you bumped into her.

"I'm so sorry," You looked up at her with an embarrassed look on your face, "I thought the halls would be empty."

She couldn't even get a word out before your eyes widened, "Shit. The meeting is over, isn't it?"

You scurried to the doors she just came from, and she almost laughed at your actions. Even after the exasperating meeting she had a smile graced her lips.

Well, I could get used to that.

When she got home, her mind flashed back to the girl she encountered in the hallway, furrowing her brows. She tried to rid of the image. Maybe she was just thinking about it because it's the only exciting thing that occurred today. Yeah, that's it.

The next week, she had to come back for a second meeting, this time staying back longer to discuss things in finer details. A couple of councilors have already up and left as it was getting late.

After a few minutes, she saw you walk in with one of the council members. You had a nervous smile on your face while the older woman spoke to you.

Sevika let out a snort at your expression, finding it to be oddly cute but containing herself moments later. Although she couldn't stop eyeing you when you stood behind the councilors chair just across from her.

You were scrawling out things on your clipboard while the grey-haired woman in front of you spoke. Sevika was only half listening as her eyes bored into your face, taking in all your features.

I mean, who knew Piltover had princesses like this.

Suddenly, you looked up to make eye contact with Sevika, her brows 5 she averted eye contact to look at the woman in front of you.

She saw your smile from the corner of her vision when she looked away. Fuck.

It seemed like every time you looked away she stared back at you, she didn't come here to eye-fuck her co-workers assistant but damn.

She watched the way you tilted your head when hearing something strange, or raised your eyebrows at something controversial, bending over to whisper something in the ear of your boss.

All in all she was definitely lost in thought when someone called her name, "Sevika!"

She looked over at the woman beside her who spoke, "Shall I repeat myself? I say, what are your thoughts on this matter?"

Sevika blanked. She racked her brain for an answer but the only one it was coming up with was the curve of your smile and the hue of your eyes.

She saw your surprised face and you mouthed something to her, "Say you agree."

She coughed into her fist before speaking, "I suppose that's fine."

The others looked at her suspiciously but carried on nonetheless. Throughout the rest of the meeting she made sure to pay close attention, so that she wouldn't slip up Infront of her co-workers again.

When the meeting was dismissed she was the last to leave, running her hand down her face in a way to ease her mind. She took a deep breath before stepping into the hall.

She was greeted with the sight of you talking to a few advisors, taking notes, and handing out papers. She found it endearing the way you bounced from person to person, engaging in conversation.

It seemed like you were taking peoples opinions for your survey. This was her chance to redeem herself. (She's embarrassed you had to help her earlier.

After speaking with an unfamiliar lanky man, you turned around and locked eyes with Sevika once again.

You waved at her, flashing her a cute grin. But before you could take a step towards her, your boss was calling her away.

Immediately, you deadpanned and pulled your lips into an exaggerated frown. Sevika smirked at your expressions and flicked her hand teasingly in a shoo, motion.

She would most definetly be seeing you again.

i know this is a bit shorter than my usual, spare me

im also having major writers block and i have 20+ asks so 🙏 let me cook here, i also have many projects i want to get to

[propertyofwicked]

FIRST - LN

lando discovers his bestfriends little sister is a virgin, and will stop at no lengths to change that (and ruin her for anyone else)

warnings: smut!! MDNI!! virgin reader, fewtrell!sister, mostly soft smut with a small innocence kink

✧ it's officially assignment szn and ur girl is STRESSED. my posts wont be as frequent for a while but i am currently creating a backlog of things to post! ✧

masterlist the playlist

“ok, y/n - truth or dare?” ria asked the girl from across the circle they sat in on the floor of max’s living room.

being so close in age to her older brother, y/n fewtrell fit in well with his friendship group, often preferring to hang out with them over her own friends. a few others were dotted around the house, P and a couple girls using the kitchen. they were all due to head to a club soon, only using max’s house to pre drink as he lived closest.

“truth,” she responded, giggling slightly as the alcohol began to turn her tipsy - not drunk, just jolly she had told max when he last checked on her.

“where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?” ria asked, giggling to herself at the rest of the group laughed, turning to face y/n for her answer. she went silent, heat rising her face gradually. her eyes scanned the group, everyone staring expectantly at her - only max avoided her gaze, looking at his phone to queue songs to the playlist.

“i- uh, well i guess i…haven’t?” she replied, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. she didn’t know why she was so embarrassed - she was 19, almost 20, and it seemed that everyone around her was coupled up, or at least active in that department. and, it hadn’t been through lack of trying, every man she had almost been with had found out and used it to get to who she was related to - and subsequently, lando - or gave her the ick before they got the chance to.

“what do you mean you haven’t?!” niran had laughed out, he hadn’t meant to laugh, he just couldn’t believe it.

“i ju-”

“ok can we stop quizzing my little sister on her sex life? please,” max interrupted, y/n sighing out a breath of relief when they finally moved to the next person. her eyes scouted across the group of people, glad to see them all distracted and no longer giving her the sympathy eyes over her pathetic excuse of a love life.

in her embarrassment, however, y/n missed the way lando’s eyes had darted to look at her when she had answered, missing the way they darkened slightly at the revelation. he shook the thoughts plaguing his mind away, focusing on keeping his face neutral as he watched the blush rising her cheeks.

she didn’t miss the way his eyes followed her as she snuck out the room, however. she’d hope no one would notice her sneaking into the kitchen, smiling at P before swiping a bottle of something and heading to the garden, legs landing gracefully to sit on a step.

this was not the first time she had dwelled on this, but this time, she could at least comfort the blow of her overactive brain by drinking - or so she thought. as not a moment after she’d removed the cap, the bottle was being snatched from her hands and closely inspected by a man towering above her crouched body.

“this smells like ass, y/n - are you sure you wanna drink it?” lando asked her, lowering himself to sit on the step next to her. the sky was darkening, stars filling the vast blackness.

“yes im sure, thanks dad,” she mocked him, arms reaching over to snatch the bottle from him, but once again, he moved his arm out, stretching the bottle further from her reach.

“nuh uh!” lando said, shaking his head, “only when you tell me why you intend on drinking what im sure is the finest bottle of… £3.99 vodka - jesus, £3.99?”

“sorry mister ‘owns-2-mclarens-and-a-lambo’,” she replied, leaning further into his side in a desperate bid to get the bottle back - she wasn’t even sure she wanted to drink it anymore, she just wanted something to fiddle with when lando eventually forced her to talk to him.

“didn’t answer my question, darlin’” he told her, placing the bottle besides him as he removed one of his threaded bracelets, placing it in her exposed palm.

oh he knew her a little too well.

“i jus- no it’s so stupid,” she conceded, the bracelet twisting around her fingers. she stared directly at it, refusing to meet lando’s intense gaze.

“bet it’s not,” he told her, moving an arm to wrap around her when he felt the chill air brush his own skin.

“you know what’s worse than having to announce to your friends that you’re a lonely little virgin that no one wants? being the lonely little virgin. it’s so fucking embarrassing - i’m 19, hell i’m nearly 20 and when everyone around you has someone in their life, it’s so hard not to feel so behind in your own life, to feel completely unlovable, to constantly feel like there’s something wrong with you,” she breathed out, still refusing to make eye contact with the man besides her.

lando took in a deep breath, choosing his next words so carefully. his hand reached up to her chin, turning her face to look up at his.

“y/n, you are not unlovable, you’re not falling behind in life and there is certainly nothing wrong with you,” he told her, his tone harsh in attempt to knock some sense into her. she shook her head at him in disbelief, his hand dropping back to his side.

“see, i really want to believe you but the evidence isn’t really stacking up in support of your argument. if that was true, i probably wouldn’t be sat in my brother’s back garden throwing myself a pity party.”

“i think your brother might’ve had a part to play in this, if im honest y/n,” lando said, slipping up slightly. she paused at his words, before her head shot round to look at him again.

“what? what do you mean max has something do with the fact no one wants me?”

“it’s not that no one wants you, y/n,” he sighed at her again before giving in, realising he’d already said too much to stop now, “it’s just that max has a bad habit of… threatening anyone who even mentions you in that way?” he added, his tone making it sound like he wasn’t even sure himself.

“threatening them?” she repeated, anger beginning to bubble up in her stomach.

“he’s only actually hit 2 of them - hell even ive had a close call with his fist a few times,” lando laughed, before realising what he’d indirectly admitted to. luckily, neither of them had time to dwell on it before the man in question popped his head round the door.

“what are you two losers doing out here?” he joked, before sensing some tension being thrown his way, “whatever, we’re leaving in a minute if you wanna get ready?”

“no thanks,” y/n told him, pushing herself up and beginning to walk past him.

“huh?” max replied, confused.

“i said, no thanks. wouldn’t wanna risk you punching anyone who shows the slightest interest in me,” she added, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at him. she turned quickly on her heel, walking off, ignoring the group as she trailed up to the spare bedroom.

the two boys shared a look between them, lando’s face holding that of apology whilst max’s was gradually moving to infuriated.

“what did you tell her?” max asked him, jaw clenching slightly.

“i didn’t mean to,” lando replied, throwing his arms out slightly as he stood up, “i just thought she ought to know that the reason boys don’t go for her is not because she is completely unlovable.”

“she said that?” max asked, startled slightly at the comment, “she thought she was unlovable?”

lando said nothing, throwing a simple nod at him before brushing past him and making his way to the front door.

y/n laid in her bed, her mind racing through the conversation with lando, like a record on repeat. she’d heard the rest of them leave the house almost an hour ago, leaving her to lay with her own thoughts once more.

there was nothing wrong with her, max just threatened anyone who came too close to her.

max had punched 2 guys who had tried to get with her.

max had tried to punch lando - wait, why had he tried to punch lando?

the sound of the front door opening, then quickly shutting again drew her from her thoughts, a natural panic spreading through her veins.

“hello?” she called out, confused as to who could be walking in the house right now. there was no response for a moment, the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs filled the silence.

“it’s just me, baby,” a voice called out, the childhood nickname letting her know it was lando approaching her bedroom. the name used to be max and lando’s attempt to tease the girl, calling her a baby when she cried after dropping her ice cream. that was when she was 7, but 13 years later, the nickname still stuck. somewhere along the line, the name had turned from mimicking to a term of endearment, blurring the lines of their friendship every time he called out to her.

“oh thank god, i thought you were a murderer,” she joked, her breathing easing as his head poked around the door, eyes meeting hers.

“you thought i was a murderer and chose to shout ‘hello’? brave, or stupid?” lando joked back.

“never let them know your next move,” y/n replied with a shrug, before noticing the way one of lando’s hands remained hidden behind the door, “whatcha got there?” she asked him, the way one would ask a dog who had something they shouldn’t.

“depends, are you gonna be nice to me?” he shot back.

“me? im always nice to you, lan,” an innocent smile built on her face.

“tell that to the scar on my back.”

“tell the scar on your back to get over it, it was 10 years ago,” she snorted as he moved further into the door frame.

“no ice cream for you then,” lando replied, smirking at her as he shrugged.

“you got ice cream?” she asked, eyes widening at him.

“thought you might wanna watch a film and forget about tonight with a flurry.”

“gimme,” y/n said, making grabby hands that would’ve been embarrassing had she not already had the worst night of her life.

“nuh uh, not until you’re nice to m-”

“oh get over here you drama queen,” she groaned at him, patting the spot next to her on the bed. lando would never say no to her, giving in so easily as he climbed under the blanket, an arm falling naturally behind her head as he did.

he began fiddling with the tv remote, scrolling through netflix for something to watch. y/n leant further into his embrace, her head settling lightly on his chest as she looked up at him.

“lan - why didn’t you stay at the club?” she asked quietly, fighting the urge to fiddle with her fingers, nervous at the thought of insinuating that he’d want to spend his evening with her instead.

“clubs are only good when you’re drunk,” lando replied with a shrug, eyes still focused on the tv, “id rather just be the designated driver and still be able to get up for training in the morning.”

his eyes flitted down at her quickly, glad she’d returned her gaze to the screen as if he’d seen her wide eyes staring up at him, lando doubted he’d be able to control himself. what she’d revealed earlier still flew around his brain as he fought desperately to shake away any thoughts of taking her innocence, ruining her for anyone else. god, he felt like a creep.

the two fell into a comfortable silence, both of them appearing to focus on the film playing in front of them. lando’s hand remained tightly around her waist, his hand moving beneath her shirt slightly for his fingers to trace circles into her skin. her head remained on his chest, each breath taking in the lingering smell of his aftershave.

“lan?” she broke the silence again, looking up at him once again.

“yes, baby?” he replied, eyes never straying from the screen.

“what did you mean earlier when you said max had even tried to punch you?”

his head shot down to look at her, feeling himself crumble slightly as her eyes stared widely up at him, her tired voice drawing him further into the trap. he could lie, tell her it was a misunderstanding. or he could tell her the truth, and pray it didn’t destroy his entire friendship with the fewtrell siblings.

“when you told me i wasn’t unlovable earlier, you really meant…” she asked, filling in for his silence. she trailed off at the end of her sentence, unwilling to get her hopes up.

“yeah.. so about that,” he said, trying to regain his confidence. she hit at his chest lightly, pushing herself to sit up and look at his face clearer than ever.

“how long?” she asked him with unwavering eye contact.

“longer than i want to admit,” lando replied, smiling at her awkwardly, “and i understand if you don’t fe-”

“kiss me.”

“wha-”

“you heard me,” she told him before joining their lips apprehensively. it started off slow, both testing the waters before falling into a steady pace. his tongue swiped her bottom lip softly, deepening the kiss as his hand raised to hold her jaw. she stifled a moan, embarrassed at the way her body was reacting to the slightest touch.

“don’t get shy on me now, baby,” he told her, hands dropping to her waist, “come ‘ere.”

lando’s hands settled on her hips, fingers gripping at them slightly to guide her onto his lap. as she settled into the new position, he kissed her again, gentle in the way he pulled her in closer, his free hand disappearing under her shirt to draw circles into her skin once more. her hips instinctively rolled into his at the feeling, and he gripped at her skin harder, a small groan escaping his mouth.

“fuck, keep that up and i won’t be able to stop,” he warned her as she rolled her hips again. his head dropped to her jaw, pressing soft kisses along the skin.

“what if i don’t want this to stop?” she asked him, causing him to pause, looking up at her softly.

“are you sure?” he asking, checking her face for any sign of hesitancy. she nodded at him before speaking.

“there’s no one i trust more.”

with her reassurance, lando flipped the top of them over, trailing kisses down her neck as he hovered above her.

“we’ll go slow,” he told her as he pulled at her t-shirt, tugging the fabric up her torso, “wanted this for so long. gonna take my time with you,” he mumbled, pressing soft kisses to the skin of her stomach. her back arched into him slightly, helping him remove her top fully. y/n felt exposed, more so than usual. had it not been for lando’s large hands snaking up to grab at her breasts, she would’ve used her own to shield her nudity.

“so gorgeous,” he mumbled again, before dipping his head to take one of her nipples in his mouth, tongue flicking at it, his fingers tugged at the other. he pushed himself back up, re joining their lips in a sweet kiss.

“gonna make you feel good, alright?” he asked her, watching the way her head nodded at him, “yeah? need you to use your words from now on baby.”

“think you should take your top off now,” she told him, her confidence returning slightly, “seems a bit unfair,” she added, jokingly pointing at her own exposed chest.

“so it is,” he agreed, sitting back on his knees as his hands gripped the bottom of his own t-shirt, lifting it over his head. the material landed on the floor, but y/n couldn’t care less - she was much more focused on the way his muscles looked, a combination of his tan and the soft fairy lights illuminating his features in a way that had her stomach rolling for him.

“oi! my eyes are up here,” he joked, settling himself between her legs. lando’s hands trailed up the exposed skin of her thighs, dragging his fingers slowly. her hips jutted up slightly at the sensation, a satisfied smirking fighting its way onto lando’s face.

“this ok?” he asked her, hands toying with the waistband of her shorts.

“yeah,” she breathed out, anticipation beginning to get the better of her as he began pulling the material away from her heat.

“tell me to stop and i’ll stop,” lando told her, discarding her shorts with his top, before adjusting his gaze to her, “just relax f’me. breathe,” he added, noticing the way her chest had frozen, breath caught in her throat. a finger ran through her folds softly, her hips rolling slightly at the sudden feeling of his rough finger pad circling her clit. his movements stopped for a moment as he moved back up her body, kissing her softly as he gathered her slick along his fingers.

“so wet for me,” he told her, kissing at her jaw, “gonna get you ready for me, ok?”

“please, lan,” she begged, panting slightly as his fingers circled her heat again, pressing into her slightly. it’s not like she hadn’t done this before on herself, which was potentially her downfall the moment he pressed a finger into her, the stretch unexpected. lando’s face pressed into her neck, kissing a trail along the skin as he pumped his finger a few times. he could hear every noise she made for him so clearly, drawing him to push a second finger into her, feeling the way her walls clamped around him.

“im ready, lan, please just fuck me,” she begged him, panting in between her words. he could’ve passed out her words, blood rushing from his brain and straight to his cock. his body pushed back up, standing quickly to remove the rest of his clothes. her hands halted him as they reached out and grabbed at the waist band of his joggers, pulling them down slowly as the pressure of his cock strained against the tight material. he helped her remove them fully, her spare hand adding difficulty as she palmed him through his boxers.

“fuck, angel,” he groaned, careful not to overwhelm her as she pulled at his boxers, tugging them down as she had his joggers. however they soon established his noises were not as overwhelming as the size of his cock - her eyes widening as she came face to face with it, her finger running down the thick vein that travelled his length.

“like what you see?” he joked in attempt to ease her nerves.

“how-? is that gonna fit?” she stuttered, gaze travelling down to her stomach as if she were trying to size herself up.

“im sure we’ll make it work,” he replied, hand reaching to her chin, forcing her to look back up at him, “remember, we can stop whenever.”

she nodded at him, before reaching up, looping her arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. he used the leverage to lay her back down, hovering over her once again as he rested on his forearm. without breaking the kiss, he reached down, guiding his cock through her folds a few times before settling the tip at her entrance.

“you sure?” lando checked again, searching her face for any last minute apprehension.

“are you sure?” she retorted, her smile illuminated by the moons glow, “can’t imagine fucking a virgin is high on your bucket list.”

“you’d be surprised,” he responded, mumbling slightly, his cock throbbed in his hand. he began lowering his hips, pushing into her slowly, low grunts falling from his lips as he disappeared further inside her.

“breathe baby, breathe for me,” he told her, feeling the way her body had tensed, her chest stilling as she inhaled deeply, “feel so good.”

lando waited a moment, watching the way her face softened, his necklace dangling dangerously around her lips. he started moving at a gentle pace, careful to listen to her responses.

“feels good,” she told him, eyes looking into his.

“yeah? ‘my the first person to make you feel good?” he asked, baiting her slightly.

“yes, fuck lan. only you.”

he close to lost it, his brain short circuiting at her words. he began to move faster in her, relishing in the way she moaned his name, her walls contracting around his cock. his hand reached between the two of them, fingers flicking at her clit before drawing pressured circles around her heat.

“faster, lan, please,” y/n begged him, her hand raising to tug at his curls.

“gonna ruin you for anyone else, angel,” he grunted, hips snapping into hers at a brutal pace, his eyes focused on the way her breasts moved in unison with his thrusts.

lando felt his high coming quicker than he could ever remember, feeling the way her grip on his bicep tightened and her breathing became more sporadic letting him know she was close too.

“you wanna cum with me?” he asked her, his tone soft whilst his pace remained rough, his fingers beginning to trace his own name on her clit. it gave him a sense of ownership over her, an invisible trace of him that would linger on her sensitivity forever - and she loved it, whining at the feeling of his skin on hers.

“please, fuck. wanna cum,” she told him, eyes shutting as her head rolled back. lando’s head dropped to her exposed neck, his teeth nipping at the skin before he titled his head further, mouth landing on the flesh of her breast. he’d quickly realised that leaving visible mark on his best friends little sister was potentially not the smartest idea, choosing to nip at the skin of her tit, mouth sucking the flesh into his lips as he did. his raised himself up again, admiring the way blood ran to the surface of her skin, only imagining the way she’d look when a bruise formed on the spot.

“only me?” he asked her, hand moving to grip her jaw, dark eyes locking with hers.

“only you,” she replied in a breathless moan.

“good girl,” he said, feeling the way her hips rolled up into his, heat running through her entire body as her climax washed over her. y/n shook around him lightly, her stomach spasming as she rode out her high, but lando couldn’t stop and admire the view. he pulled out quickly, feeling his own high rising in his cock, both of their eyes glued on the way his cock shot out ropes of cum that landed on her stomach.

“so….” she started, trying to fill the somewhat awkward tension in the room.

“we are so doing that again,” he said with a chuckle and he moved to locate his joggers on the floor.

“oh absolutely,” she replied, laughing with him as the fear of him leaving her washed away, though her eyebrow quirked up at him as he shuffled to the door.

“just grabbing a cloth. gotta get you cleaned up so we can finish the film,” he added with a smile.

minutes later, they were both sat back in the bed, her legs thrown over his lap as one hand grazed the skin of his back lightly, lando’s hand running up and down her thigh in a similar fashion. they sat in a comfortable silence, knowing that eventually they would need to discuss the future of this, the future of them, but for now lando relished in the way her hand continuously stroked at the same spot on his back. the same spot - he internally questioned.

“watcha doing?” he finally asked, curious to her supposed fixation on his left shoulder blade.

“apologising to the scar on your back?” she retorted, circling back to their earlier conversation.

“never apologise for anything ever again,” he mumbled into her hair, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“what if i murdered your entire family?” she piped up.

“i support women’s rights and their wrongs.”

“preach.”

-

✧ inbox/requests are open ✧

[tender-rosiey]

smack, smack — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: special thanks to the beautiful @stinkyme for inspiring me to actually write this and for fangirling over the idea with me <3

gojo satoru, like any dad, got his fair share of ‘bullying’ from his daughter, his 5 months old baby.

some dads get peed on, others get their hair pulled, and others get their nose bitten on the daily. it's a little something to make them suffer a bit like the mothers had to during the pregnancy.

your husband, however, is always getting smacked in the face whenever he has his blindfold on, and I mean harshly smacked in the face and unforgiving scratching.

the first time it happened was when he was going to school. he was ready, uniform on and everything, but he simply had to say goodbye to his two girls.

skipping to your shared bedroom, he placed two big smooches on your face. then, after much of pulling him off you, he went to smooch his little girl. a big unmatched grin was on his face as he looked down at her in her crib.

he picked her up, cooing softly at her, “what a pretty girl, just as pretty as your mama, huh?”

satoru then laid her gently against his chest and started rocking her softly, while humming. after a while, he felt her stir a little in his arms. she sleepily looks up at him, and he smiles down at her, “good morning, baby—“

now, your daughter was used to seeing her dad without the blindfold. she was used to getting met by her dad's bright blue eyes.

so when a strange unknown man was holding her up instead of her papa, she started wailing and screaming, repeatedly smacking him in the face.

whenever her little—strong—hand landed on the blindfold, she would try to pull it off with all her baby might. you scrambled out of your bed at the loud screeches and screams of both your husband and your daughter.

you saw how satoru was desperately trying to, as gently as possible, make her release her grip. you stumbled on your words, before yelling, “your blindfold! take off your blindfold off!”

“I! am! trying!” he yelps as she continues slapping the hell out of his face.

you hurry and take his blindfold off, swiftly throwing it to the side. he started rocking her, smiling despite the red marks and scratches all over his handsome face, “it’s me, daddy! you see me?”

almost magically, your daughter calmed down in an instant with the occasional hiccup from her previous crying. he smiled, “there you go; that’s my girl.”

she gently made grabby hands at him, and he quickly pulled her back into his chest. your daughter instantly snuggled into his shoulder and hid her face in his neck.

you stared at him for a moment, “well, at least we know that she bloody hates that blindfold.”

it honestly kind of adds up.

you remember the many times that your daughter was generally distressed or fussy and instantly calmed down when she saw her dad’s eyes. you also remember that one time your daughter was actually zoning out while looking at satoru’s eyes, her own safe place.

satoru chuckles with a shrug, “I have you as my savior, anyway.”

“you can’t always count on me to be the one to save you from our daughter’s monstrously strong grip.”

and he can’t.

no one is brave enough to try and to fight back a baby, let alone the strongest sorcerer’s baby.

that attack happens way more than satoru would like. for example, whenever you’re busy, he takes his little princess to the school with him. in general, everyone helps in taking care of the little angel (devil in some cases).

however, god forbid she sees satoru coming back from a mission with his blindfold on.

it took some time for your husband to learn his lesson and immediately take his blindfold off before he entered the school. until then, he was prone to his daughter’s crazy strong hand smacking his face till his entire face is painted red and not the cute kind.

satoru never believed in his students to save him, except for yuuji. the first time it happened around the students, most of them were either laughing or speechless.

yuuji did try to save his sensei from his smacking machine of a daughter, but ended up getting smacked himself.

your husband did hope that, maybe, nanami’s heart would soften, and he would finally help him.

nanami’s heart did soften, just not for satoru. instead, your daughter now has a special soft spot in nanami’s heart, as he did in hers, but that isn’t our topic for today.

the amount of times you would enter the room to find nanami chuckling or smiling at your husband getting beaten to a pulp by your baby. satoru could be sobbing, “nanami, please! save me!”

and nanami would simply smile—sadistically—and hum, “I don’t think I will.”

you’re pretty sure that nanami believes this is god’s way of punishing your husband for all the mischief he caused.

ignoring that, it grips your heart how satoru’s face would brighten up the moment he saw you. he would run up to you, giving you the baby to calm her down while he gives his face a rest.

and your little girl was smiling and giving you her version of cheek kisses.

your husband recovered quickly though, and took her back, his blindfold finally off. he doesn’t do it without pecking your lips though, “my savior.”     

then he gets lost in his own world with his little girl, and their laughs and giggles filled the room. her hands were gently holding her dad’s face as she squeals, and satoru’s heart soars as he forgets about his beating from a moment ago.

now, that doesn’t mean that his dear students don’t make fun of him for always losing against his little girl. during one of the recent teasings, he simply huffed, “you never tried the grip of a baby! tell them, yuuji!”

yuuji shudders as he remembers how long the slap mark lasted, “she is one hell of a strong baby.”

it’s one thing for panda and nobara to laugh, it’s another for megumi and maki to do so as well. your husband’s ego simply couldn’t take it anymore. he took his baby in his arms and gathered the baby bags, sparing one last glance at his ‘bullies’.

and so your husband dramatically exits the room, “I need my wife! I can’t with you people anymore!”

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[wallflowergirl2006]

Forced Heat [Fem Chubby Bunny Reader] {Smut + Fluff}

Image from Pinterest by: Ti✦na

CW: Breeding

Not Proofread

You're a bunny hybrid, the last of your kind and through the time in imprisonment in this laboratory you were cautious of everything that did. The food they gave you, the stares, the tests. Everything freaked you out. It took a long while for you to get used to your new living conditions. The scientist in charge made sure to give you a habitat that suited to your needs instead of putting you in a cell since you were the last of your species so they made sure to take extra special care of you. So why did they think to pair you with a predator species? That was the last thing you wanted and apparently he felt the same way. “Why am I paired up with this inferior creature?” The wolf hybrid snarled at the scientist. You could only frown at his harsh words. His words stung just because you were a prey species doesn’t mean you are less important than the predators. “We are trying to see if you two are compatible Matias. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.” One of the scientists warned him. Matias huffs in annoyance as he stares at you.

He sits down on the opposite of you in the tiny cell they put both of you in. “So what’s special that they had to pair me up with a small and chubby thing like you?” Matias said as he scrutinized you harshly. “Beats me.. I don’t want to be here any more than you do so please can we get this done.” You tried extending an olive branch to him. “Fine but we somehow are compatible enough to be mates. I don't want to hear any complaints from you.” Matias said with harsh glare. “So what’s your name, little bunny?�� “[Y/N], My name is [Y/N]..” You told him with an unreadable expression. “[Y/N]” He took a second to digest the information. “It seems to fit you nicely. Yeah, I like that name.” Matias said as his lips slightly twitched upwards. Your eyes raked over his body. He was fit and lean, he didn’t have too much muscle which was good but he also had a lot of scars. “I’m guessing you're a warrior? Judging from your scars.” You asked him with curiosity. His gaze seemed to harden once you spoke about his scars. Your eyes widen in slight panic from his reaction. Matias then let out a sigh. “Yes, I was one of the warriors of my clan. All my scars came from different battles.” He informed you. As he starts to ramble about his scars you choose to get closer to him. He continued to talk and talk until you made it to the other side and sat beside him.

You then grabbed his hand and when you did that seemed to grab his attention. You pressed soft kisses to his scarred hand. You could feel him tense up but he didn’t pull his hand away. A soft ding noise echoed through the room. The scientists then entered the room with clipboards in hand. “Congrats you two. You both are compatible to be mates.” One of the male scientists with a sly smirk. Matias wrapped an arm around your plush waist signaling the male scientist to watch his words. “Alright, I see you're already getting protective of her.” He said with a chuckle. “Alright, guards take them back to their rooms.” The other scientist called for the guards.As the guards escorted both you and Matias back to your room you gave him a small reassuring smile. He saw it and couldn’t help but smile back. 

As time went on the scientist found that you and Matias were the best fit for each well and mostly because once two hybrids mate they won’t be compatible with anyone else. So one day they decided to do a specific test only with you and not Matias. “It’s just some medicine [Y/N] relax.” The scientist said in a reassuring tone as she held up a syringe. Although it didn’t look like medicine, you'd rather obey than go without dinner again. So you lifted your arm and let them stick the needle inside of you. They injected  the “medicine” and it didn’t seem to take effect immediately you sighed thankfully. You were free to go back to your room but as you were escorted back to your room you couldn’t help but feel your body heat up.

Whatever they gave you it made you go into your heat faster than anticipated so you were humping anything you got your hands on.. Anything to make the aching feeling in your cunt go away but nothing seemed to be working.  You whined in pain as you humped the pillow that was drenched in your slick. “Get her mate, we have enough data and she looks like she needs him.” One of the scientists told the guards. Soon you heard the door to your habitat open and you saw your mate and he looked beyond worried. “Pumpkin, I’m so sorry.. Here let me help you.” Matias said as he unzipped his pants and freed his cock. He took the pillow away from you and flipped you onto your back. He positions you into a mating press as he aligns his cock into your dripping sex. He hissed as he pushed himself into you. You could only groan as you wrapped your legs around him to pull him in deeper. Once fully inside you he started at a slow pace but then gradually sped up. “Gonna give you some pups but first gotta take care of my baby.” He cooed as he kissed your soft plump cheek. “God my baby is so perfect..” Matias whined as he felt you clench around him. “Focus on my cock honey, focus on how it fills you nicely and perfectly.” He encouraged you as he thrusted roughly instead of you causing you to cry out in pleasure. The sound of other hybrids in contaminate cheered Matias on as he continued to help you with your forced heat cycle.

Matias feels you tighten around him, he bites back a groan and he thrusts one last time before he paints your walls white, he orgasm triggers your own and you moan out his name as you creamed around his knotted cock. You start to whine as you feel the base of his cock start to swell inside of you. ”I know.. I know sweetheart this is just to help you a little bit more.” He reassured you as he nuzzled his face into your hair as he inhaled your sweet scent. Your body trembles as it slowly gets used to the stretch. After a few mins Matias’s knot swells down and he pulls out of you. You sighed in content as you felt his strong arms wrap around your chubby body. You felt him rub his hand over your chubby tummy. “Can’t wait to see your belly swell up with our pups.” He said affectionately as looked into your eyes. “I’ll protect you and our babies. I promise my love.” He said as he pressed his lips against yours. “I love you” He whispers against your lips.

Image from Pinterest by: Grafik Dizayn

[rockingbytheseaside]

Hey! Gosh I love your fics, you are so talented! <3 I have a request after your latest fic haha. The sentences 'It's only a matter of time before he accidentally slips and calls you his spouse in front of people.' would be the perfect plot, actually. When and how would the Harbingers calls their s/o 'their wife' in front of others first time? If you don't like it, you don't have to do it! i hope you have an awesome day!

(hehe, yes, accidentally… mmm. Enjoy!)

✦ They accidentally call you their spouse 

Pierro, Capitano, Dottore, Pantalone, Tartaglia

It was a complete and utter accident; just a harmless slip of the tongue. One moment, your beloved was politely introducing you to some of his Fatui subordinates, the other he inadvertently referred to you as “my spouse” in front of others. It would've been a sweet moment of shared laughter, were it not spoken in front of so many people of the Fatui. It’s not like your beloved’s subordinates would start correcting him, he's a Harbinger after all… now how would you navigate this awkward situation? 

✧ The ever-cold and calculating Pierro prevents any mistakes from slipping past him. Yet here he is, standing composed next to you as he gently gestures to you and claims:

“From here on out, my spouse shall reside in the Zapolyarny Palace and I expect all obedience to be directed towards them.” 

You went silent. The servants went silent. Even he went silent. You carefully murmured to him:

“... Pierro, dear. We are not married.” 

Somehow the Jester remained blank, as if the error of his brain eluded him. Or perhaps, he realized it was too late to reprimand his mistake, especially in front of the royal servants of the palace. He simply cleared his throat and nodded woefully: “Indeed, we aren't. My apologies.” 

The hushed murmurs of The Director’s “innocent mistake” spread soundlessly like an inside secret within the Palace's walls. It wasn't news that the Jester adored you, but to witness the typically collected Pierro clear his throat bashfully, while you stood there timidly after correcting his mistake was endearing. 

These rumors, of course, reached the ears of the 3rd of the Fatui Harbingers’ ears, Columbina. Such tales were her delight, a personal pastime, relishing the timid nature of your private relationship with Pierro. She just had to tease you two by reminding him of the incident. Thus, one day, she approached The Jester in his office on an inconspicuous day and asked:

“Oh, cheer up, Director. It's been months since your last mishap. Surely you wouldn't let your composure shatter in front of the one you call beloved so easily?”

“You are correct,” - Pierro replied to the Dove calmly. “It was a mistake. Hence, I amended it and made sure it's no longer an issue.”

That’s when Columbina’s gaze drifted to his hands, where he was not leisurely adjusting his cuffs but subtly displaying an ornament on his ring finger. His engagement ring. If the 3rd Harbinger could open her enigmatic eyes, she would stare absolutely wide-eyed and dumbfounded through her white ribbons. When the hell did he get engaged-?!

“Pierro, dear,” - you suddenly stepped in, that same embarrassed interjection escaping you “Please stop boasting about our engagement. We haven't made it official yet.” 

✧ The poor Fatui soldier under Il Capitano's recruit stood stiffly looking at their Harbinger. Was it dread or the web of discomfort one feels when seeing a couple argue over something entirely beyond their input? Because that's certainly what the current Fatui skirmisher felt when standing between you and Il Capitano. 

“I can't allow this, Capitano,” – you huffed, your head shaking in dismay. “You over-dedicate yourself in battles.” 

“We went over this, my cherished. I have to, it is my duty as the Captain. Not just for the Fatui’s sake, but for your own safety as well!” 

“No, no,” – you clicked your tongue. “Don’t give me that. You know that's not the issue… the issue is that you overwork yourself by beating everyone in a duel and not leaving me anything else to defeat! What am I supposed to do?!”

“But my beloved-!” 

That's how your lover's quarrel underwent, and the Fatui Skirmishers that kept blinking in disbelief, stood helpless as the argument ping-ponged between ‘who gets to defeat more enemies on the battlefield’. Finally, your beloved spoke with an irritated huff at your scolding:

“Well, did you perhaps consider that I do not wish for my spouse to overextend themselves and get recklessly injured over some personal records?”

“Oh, so now you-... What did you just call me?” 

The sudden realization caused a deafening silence between you and Capitano like a blade poised to strike. His pitch-black visage did not help to decipher whether he was grappling with his mistake or masking his shock. You insisted: “Capitano, what did you just call-”

“I did not say anything.” 

“You did, you…Hey-! Don't turn your back on me, come back here!” 

Perhaps The 1st of the Fatui Harbingers does not flee from a challenge like a pathetic coward. However, today was a great chance to use a tactful retreat, to put it softly, all in the hopes of escaping your wrath. How else would he explain his mishaps of calling you his ‘spouse’ so casually? If he confessed that he thought “it sounds so befitting for my one and only” he might as well just reveal every tender plan of a quiet life with you. And he can't have you teasing his affection for a domestic life alongside you. 

For now, fleeing was a wise and honorable choice, especially when you are ready to duel him any moment now.

✧ It was another one of those days in Il Dottore's lab. His fingers tap the surface of the table, chin resting on his palm, while a pen balanced precariously behind his ear. Delegating his final tasks for today, he supervised some final organizational matters in the lab while addressing some lab assistants with his usual air of nonchalant authority.

“Ensure all the surgical sets are properly sanitized and checked in the ultrasonic cleaner. I expect them neatly arranged by day’s end. My spouse prefers the equipment organized this way.”

One of the lab assistants stopped in their tracks, staring at him. 

“And don't inform them how some glassware shattered today. It would be irrelevant for them to worry…”

Mumbling to himself, Dottore only now realized that his lab assistants fell eerily silent, staying motionless as they blinked at him. Humming in confusion, he turned his attention at last, only to realize these unfortunate listeners were not gawing at him, but rather someone behind him.

Lo and behold, you stood there, behind him.

With a hand on your hip, you inquired with deceptive simplicity: “Oh? You have a spouse, dear?”

He pretends he wasn't aware of the conundrum and the absurdity of his slip-up. But even with his eyes covered behind that smooth black mask covering his eyes, you can see the haughty expression on his lips. Thus, he crossed his arms.

“Hm, Perhaps. You could say I do.”

“Then my condolences to your spouse. They must have the patience of a saint.”

The Doctor’s assistant had to repress their little chuckles. The tense atmosphere of the laboratory would always be dismissed with your ease, as you’d knowingly nod to Dottore’s colleagues and allow them to leave you two alone. Not even Dottore’s stern attitude would interfere otherwise, even if he tried to conceal his flustered composure at your mere words: “Well perhaps they are a saint, but also a handful for me to deal with.”

“Well, your hypothetical spouse is telling you it's late already and you should take a break for today.”

Conceding to your playful banter, The harbinger’s shoulders loosened up, a rare smile gracing him as he followed you with a wrapped arm around your shoulder. Your victory is marked by your knowing smile and Dottore would not object or conceal his infatuation by referring to you as his spouse. Even if he denies the marital titles as nothing but superficial formalities, he’d walk with you back to your shared personal quarters mumbling:

“Spouse’s orders it is, then.”

✧ It happened during a busy moment when Pantalone and you were at a tailor shop. After much persuasion that lasted weeks, your beloved succeeded at finally dragging you to a luxurious tailoring workshop, where store attendants welcomed you both and helped take your measurements with utter refinement and class.

You stood still with your arms extended, while the attendants did their swift duty with a measuring tape. In the mirror’s reflection before you, you caught sight of Pantalone standing a few steps away, his hand resting thoughtfully against his chin.

“Perhaps an elegant new blazer, white with golden accents?”

You remained still, looking absent-mindedly at the array of fabrics on display. “Dear, there is no need for every piece of clothing to look like it was made for a soirée. I am perfectly fine with a casual cotton blazer.”

The shop attendant closest to you stepped close with some swatches of fabrics to choose from, offering a polite smile. However, Pantalone had to shake his head and charmingly declare – “Oh, nonsense, my spouse deserves only the highest quality and looks when it comes to tailor-made pieces. Excuse me, may I inspect the catalogs for fabrics?”

With a polite nod, the shop assistant did not question the Harbinger or your baffled expression at the sudden choice of words. She was already moving around: “Most certainly, sir. I am sure you and your partner would love our available options. In fact, we also offer discounts for matching tailored ensembles for betrothed pairs if it's for a wedding or a honeymoon special.”

"Wait, wait… we are not-”

“Ah, wonderful,” Pantalone kept the same polite persona without missing a beat. However, the slight knowing smile did not go unnoticed as he glanced at you. “That will be excellent to keep in mind for the future."

What was promised as a quick visit to the tailor shop turned into Pantalone victoriously dragging you through multiple high-end workshops and analyzing the myriads of ‘honeymoon and wedding’ offers when it came to tailor-made clothes. And you, of course, could only gape at him while he kept that ever-charming grin.

“Pantalone, honey, we are not looking into engagement accessories. We are not married.”

“Oh? We are not?” - He feigned innocence and tilted his head. “Hehe, oops.”

✧ When Tartaglia made his way back with his men to Snezhnaya, the fuzzy white snow provided a stark white contrast to the shedding blood on the ground. Clear ruby red droplets stained the cool white terrain after the Harbinger’s successful expedition. 

“Lord Harbinger Tartaglia,” – a Pyro Agent approached, bowing in recognition. “Our reports are in. The site is clear; all abyssal monstrosities have been eliminated.”

Yet Childe was far from tranquil. The rush of battle was still hot in his blood, his hydro dual blades clutched tightly in his hands. Another mission dispelling any filth at the outskirts of Snezhnaya may be mundane for some Fatui skirmishers, yet for a man like Childe, this was his warm-up. 

“Ha… not bad. We finished much earlier today. And here I suspected this would take a whole day.” 

The Pyro Agent nodded – “Yes, sir, indeed. Judging by estimation, our troop would be back to the city by nightfall.”

“...Hold on, nightfall?” 

Suddenly, Tartaglia froze as if a deep culmination dawned on him. The confirmation from his subordinates did not quell his sudden shock. In mere seconds, all his battle rush and thrill of danger vanished before Tartaglia whipped around and exclaimed loudly to his men: 

“Teucer’s theater performance at school is today! My spouse is gonna kill me!” 

Without further words or thought, the Harbinger literally turned and sprinted as far as the horizon could see, leaving his subordinates baffled. Teucer? Spouse? This young Harbinger was married? 

“What… is he on about? I didn't know our lord Harbinger was married,” - the Pyro Agent mumbled, looking into the distance where the figure of a sprinting young man vanished off comically. An Anemoboxer Vanguard stepped nearby, adjusting his gauntlets. “I am pretty sure he isn't. It could be a family member.”

“Then who is the spouse…?” 

The Fatui colleagues exchanged shrugs before the other remembered – “Ah, could be his partner. Remember, they sometimes come to visit when he's training?”

“Oh, then definitely them.” – the two men stared off in the direction Tartaglia had gone, the bizarre image of their superior, so consumed by his bloodlust moments ago, suddenly halting everything to rush home for some kid’s theater performance. And accidentally calling his sweetheart his spouse would be hard to forget.

“Wanna bet he won't make it in time and his ‘spouse’ would teach him a lesson?” 

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Like You Deserve (Wolverine)

Description: Y/N wants to dom Logan

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 2,032k

Request: What about sub Logan smut?

Wade and Y/N had lots in common but one thing that stood out against the others was that they both wanted to Dom Logan ... .well Wade was never going to get the chance, Y/N made it her destiny to. Logan wouldn’t swallow his pride easy but Y/N saw the looks that he gave her when he thought she wouldn’t notice. Her suit was like deadpool but sexier so her whole body was on display for him to gawk at. What better way to get Logan to agree to submission than a party?

Wade of course threw the party and Logan was trying to cut back on the drinking so he wasn’t drinking anything that could affect this experience. Y/N decided not to drink anything either so it left them as the only 2 sober people at the party. “How much you wanna bet that Wade’s gonna try to fuck Vanessa tonight?” Logan asked. Y/N looked at him, “With her boyfriend right next to her? Yeah probably.” They watched as Wade tried so hard not to flirt with her in front of her boyfriend. “Yeah I can’t watch this.” Logan cringed and stood up. Y/N stood up as well, “We can go somewhere quiet and chat.” She offered. 

Her bedroom was everything he thought it would be. It was all types of movies and comics, her room smelled so nice thanks to the candle she lit beforehand. Almost as if She had planned this. “So is there a reason you aren’t drinking?” He asked her. She usually drank at parties but today she wasn’t and he found that odd. “Just wanted to take a break.” “Bullshit.” She looked at him, surprised.

“There’s an actual reason you aren’t drinking.” She sighed, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” She said. He turned his whole body towards her while laying on her bed. “Hit me.” She wanted to be like Wade and actually hit him rather than tell him. “You would certainly get it out of me drunk.” She said and looked over at him. “Or you could just tell me.” She shook her head, “I can’t believe you’re gonna make me say it.” She whined.

He got off the bed, “Fine then don’t. I’ll leave.” He said and went to leave her room. “I wanna fuck you.” She blurts out. He steps dead in his tracks and turns to look at her, “That’s it?” What did he mean by that? “Well I mean that literally. I wanna fuck YOU.” “You wanna be in control?” He asked as if she was joking. She nodded and her face got really red. “Yeah as hot as you are, No.” He said and she stood up. “You won’t let me dominate you? You don’t think that would be hot?” She asked. “Our first time fucking isn’t going to be you in control. It’s gonna be pounding into you like you deserve.” He said to her.

A few months later Y/N was handcuffing him to the bed, “What was it that you said to me before we got together? You wanted to fuck me like I deserve? Well baby boy I wanna fuck you like you deserve.” She purred and got off the bed to see him. He tried to hide his hatred for being chained up.

Y/N stared at his abs and muscles that were on full display for her to see. “Gosh baby you have such a perfect body.” She said and walked and started tracing his abs. They were perfect and hairy. “I just wanna hump every inch of you.” She purrs and he tenses up at her touches and words. Her fingers travel to his hard on that was clothed. It was the only part of him that was clothed.

The second her fingers traced over his hard on he hissed. “I barely touched you baby.” She teased and gripped him. He held back a pathetic moan of need as her tiny held what she could. She leaned down and licked up his abs making his breathing heavier. “Mmm you taste so good.” She said and took off her clothes. His eyes widened at her naked body as if he had never seen it before. He had tons of times but it never failed to amaze him.

Once she was naked she took her panties that were wet and shoved them in his mouth. “Just a little taste for later.” She winks at him. She straddles his body and moves up to his abs. They were hard and perfect for what she was about to do. She gasps as she runs her wet pussy over his abs getting them wet. He watched as she did this slowly teasing him but herself too. Each time her clit touched his abs she moaned a little louder each time. He wished that he could just take a hold over her and fuck her on his abs but he couldn’t.

It was long after that she was tired of teasing herself and started humping his abs fully. Her hands placed on his chest as she got a steady rhythm going. His eyes were glued to her face as he watched her pleasureful expressions. Her body thrusted against his as she gasped and moaned. “Fuck for so long I’ve dreamt and humped my pillow just imagining your abs.” She whined as the bed shook with her thrusts. He moans against the panties at her words. She removes her panties from his mouth and puts them in hers as she continues to ride him. “Fuck baby girl you look so hot.” He groans and her head falls back. The panties fall from her mouth as her jaw drops from how close she is. “Baby please wait and cum on my cock or my face. I don’t care.” He was begging. Something she never thought he would do. His abs felt amazing but his dick would feel better. She stops her humping and throws her panties somewhere in the room.

With wobbly legs she stands up and pulls down his boxers. His hard dick is leaking at the tip and begging to be touched. He was so big and each time she was still nervous about his size. She crawled back on him and took his dick in her hand. Though her hand couldn’t wrap all the way around it, it still felt good. Fuck it felt amazing to him. Her hands were like silk and he loved the feeling of them on him. He groaned and threw his hand as she started jerking him off, “That feel good bub?” She asked, teasing him and mocking his pet name for everyone. “Fuck darlin’ your hand is amazing but you’re pussy is better.” She giggled at his words. Fucking giggled. He loved that sound more than anything.

“Or I could make you cum so many times. Milking you dry.” She said and his eyes rolled at her answer. “I have you exactly where I want you Logan. I need to take advantage of that.” Her hand was speeding up the pace. His hips bucked up until her hand as he groaned. “The first time I cum has to be in that pretty little cunt. I won’t accept it any other way.” He grunts and she laughs. “Oh you won’t? I don’t think you have much say in where you’re cumming.” She says and speeds up her hand. He was so close to his orgasm but he didn’t want to cum like that.

“No fuck please let me cum in your pussy.” He begged her. There he was again, begging her. Her hand stops, “You’re very lucky that I wanna cum all over your cock.” She says and moves to position herself. She rubs his tip all over her pussy making them both gasp. “Let me inside please.” “Impatient little thing aren’t ya Wolvy? You’ll get what you want.” He was by no means little but that wasn’t what he was focused on. She was teasing him and it was starting to hurt. Before he could beg anymore she finally took him in and oh did it feel amazing. Her pussy swallowed him whole and he loved every second of her taking him in with caution.

Her jaw dropped as he ripped her open like it was the first time. Both of them are already edged and ready to go. Her pussy was leaking around him. His eyes couldn’t leave the sight of her taking him in until he was gone. “Fuck you’re so big.” She whined and let herself adjust to him. Though he was being an impatient fuck and thrusted up into her causing her to moan loudly. He smirked at her reaction but the glare that was present on her face told him he was in trouble. “You weren’t supposed to do that Wolvy.” She said and if it wasn’t for the fact that every time they had sex she had to adjust to him she would have gotten off him.

“Please baby. I need you to fuck me.” Oh wow. The begging was one thing but to tell her to fuck him. He had lost it, truly. She let herself slowly grind on his dick and even though he was whiny and telling her to stop teasing him, she enjoyed it. “I would be pounding into you now.” He groaned and she laughed. “I have never seen you so whiny and bratty. It’s almost like that’s why I’m doing it.” She started riding him a little faster. He wanted so bad to grip her hips and drag her on his cock. She could tell that he wasn’t happy with her pace but he was deep in her and hitting spots that even without him “ramming” into her, it still felt good.

She could cum from this pace but Logan needed more. Her head fell back and she let out little moans as her hips sped up a little more but not much. “You’re so deep.” She gasped out. He started growling like an animal and she looked down at him. “Aww baby is this not good enough for you?” She asked with a fake pout and sighed. “You’re lucky that I wanna cum.” She said before dragging herself on his dick and riding him the way he wants. “Fuck yes.” He groans, loudly. She whined his name and placed both her hands on his chest. His eyes never left her fucked out face.

“You’re so fucking pretty baby.” He groaned and if she could she would roll her eyes at him. He wanted her to let him touch her. “Let me mark you baby please.” He begged and she was high on pleasure to care so she stopped and grabbed the keys to the cuffs and undid them. The second his hands were free he gripped her hips and dragged her on his cock so fast it took her breath away. “Yeah that’s it baby. Fuck you look so good on top.” He praised her and her pussy fluttered around him at that.

He chuckled, “Yeah you like that? I know she did.” He looked down at her pussy that looked so full of his cock. “Logan fuck if you keep talking like that I’m gonna cum.” She whined. “That’s the point baby.” She felt herself on the edge but she wanted him to cum first. “Logan I need you to cum first baby.” “Never. My woman will always cum before me.” He groans and holds himself back. “Cum for me darlin’ drench my cock.” She gasped and let out a loud moan of his name as she orgasmed all over him.

He bit his lip and followed right after her. “Fuck baby.” She cried as she rode out her orgasm. His eyes never left her face to see how fucking pretty she looked as she came all over him. She collapsed on his chest and he hugged her. “You did so good, baby. You made me feel so good.” He said out of breath. She yawned and closed her eyes, “I love you Logan. Thanks for that.” He smiled and kissed her head, “Love you too bub.”

[pathologicalreid]

christmas (baby please come home) | s.r.

in which Spencer isn't home to put his kids to bed on Christmas Eve, but they wake up to a surprise on Christmas morning

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: spencer's first post prison christmas, frankensteined the plot of "surface tension", the same family as "here with me", crying, christmas word count: 3.19k a/n: merry christmas!! this is kinda like my gift to you, mostly since it's been sitting in my brain for forever!!!!!!! i love u all! also happy first day of hanukkah if you celebrate <33

“But Daddy’s not home,” your daughter whimpered as she shuffled under her covers, she looked up at you with wide, curious eyes.

You carefully smoothed out the top of her floral comforter, “I know, baby,” you whispered, reaching up to pinch her cheek affectionately. You’d let them stay up late to watch the Santa tracker, but eventually, Finn fell asleep on you, and Livvy’s yawns were enough to convince you that it was bedtime. “You still have to go to sleep. Santa will come whether Daddy’s home or not, and we’ll just do the gifts from Mommy and Daddy when he gets back.”

At three years old, Olivia was beginning to understand Spencer being gone the same way Eleanor did; she knew his absence was entirely out of her control, and that didn’t sit well with your middle child. You knew you had gotten incredibly lucky when Spencer had been home for Finn’s birthday and Livvy’s had fallen during his sabbatical, but you also knew that you were due for a missed holiday, you just wished it could’ve been Thanksgiving or New Year’s.

You kissed her forehead before leaving, making sure to leave the door open a crack so the monsters wouldn’t get her before you went to Nell’s room. “Hey, honey,” you whispered, closing your eldest’s door behind you before going to sit on the edge of her bed. She had her own Christmas tree set up in the corner of the room, the artificial purple tree providing the glow that her nightlight normally would. “Are you ready for bed?”

Nell was lying on top of her covers, staring at her still ceiling fan as she ignored your question. While Livvy was just starting to understand what it meant when Spencer was gone, Nell understood it best, and she had for years now. She’d understood when Spencer was in prison, and she understood that he was missing Christmas now.

Slowly, you laid down next to your daughter, propping your head up on the bed and smoothing her hair back. “It’s still Christmas,” you tried to reassure her, but part of you knew that it was a thankless effort, there was nothing you could tell her that would fix her father’s absence. “We can call Dad in the morning while we open presents,” you offered, hoping she’d appreciate you coming halfway. “If he’s not busy, maybe we can video chat, and you can show him everything Santa brought you.”

“It’s not the same,” she told you, furrowing her brows and turning away from you on the bed.

Sighing, you pressed a kiss to the back of her head, “I know, Nellie. I know it’s not fair that he doesn’t get to be here for Christmas, but Daddy will come back.” There was a sense of urgency in your voice; you were afraid that if your five-year-old lost the joy in Christmas, you’d somehow failed her as a mother. “He’ll be home for your birthday, I promise,” you whispered.

“You can’t promise,” she reminded you, knowing that you and Spencer were generally very specific about your promises, leaning toward the ‘I promise I’ll try’ variety.

You hummed in response, “I’d pinky promise you that. Dad will be home for your birthday.” You held up your pinky finger, waiting for her to roll over and reciprocate.

Eleanor rolled over, holding up her pinky finger while brown eyes watched you apprehensively, “Okay,” she breathed, hooking your fingers together and kissing them.

As soon as Spencer told you about the bureau’s contingency to him returning to the BAU, you’d done the math. Eleanor’s sixth birthday would fall near the beginning of his next sabbatical, so you didn’t hesitate to make this promise. “It’s time for bed, my girl,” you whispered, smiling at her softly as she pulled the sleeves of her Christmas pajamas over her hands. “Santa can’t come if you’re not asleep,” you reminded her, sitting up on the bed and getting up, tucking her purple comforter under her chin before you made your final stop of the night.

You’d brought Finn to his room before getting the girls settled, but now that you knew they were alright, you came back to his room. The white noise machine was going, and he was fast asleep in his crib. His pacifier, which you were trying to wean him off of, had fallen from his mouth and onto the sheets, so you set it to the side. To you, the second Christmas was always more exciting than the first, now that he was fourteen months old, he had the dexterity to help open presents.

Ruffling his hair, you kissed him goodnight, just like you’d done with the girls, and you left his room, closing the door so that no one would disturb the light-sleeping baby.

There was a late night ahead of you, but first, you settled yourself onto the couch in the living room and pulled out your phone. Upon opening your messages with Spencer, you couldn’t help but be disappointed to find that there was nothing unread. You thought about sending him a text telling him that you all miss him but eventually decided against it. You didn’t want to make him feel guilty. At least, no more guilty than he likely already did.

You turned on the TV, quietly playing a Christmas movie as you began the festivities. All of the gifts had been expertly hidden in the master bedroom, split between being shoved under your bed and in your closet, but a new playhouse for the girls had been dropped off earlier. It was too big for your room, so your parents had stored it in their basement in the interim.

That would be a struggle to bring in from the garage, so you decided to start small, pulling all of the kids’ stockings from their hooks and laying them out on the floor before going upstairs to get the stuffers.

With the movie playing, you filled the stockings with treats and little toys. A few times you imagined your phone buzzing, but each time there was nothing on the screen. The loneliness started to set in as you rehung the stockings, making sure the kids’ names faced forward above the fireplace.

This wasn’t your first Christmas alone, Spencer had been in Idaho for Olivia’s first Christmas, but neither of the girls remembered it.

They’d remember this one, you thought to yourself, walking back up the stairs to grab a load of boxes. Thankfully, they were already wrapped, but you did have to avoid getting ribbon in your mouth as you carried the armful of gifts down the stairs.

Masterfully, you adjusted them beneath the tree, trying to visualize where they’d all end up in the end as you heard something distantly, but you brushed it off as someone leaving your neighbor’s holiday party. You stood up, wiping your hands on your pajamas as you evaluated your handiwork, shrugging before you turned around for the next load, “Oh,” you breathed, watching the handle on the door from the garage turn.

The door opened slowly, revealing your husband on the other side, his black peacoat draped over his arm and purple scarf looped around his neck. He hooked his car keys on the key hook before he noticed you, brown eyes finding your pajama-clad figure. His lopsided smile was all-knowing as always, he knew he had surprised you. In fact, it had been his goal.

You remained exactly where you were, watching him from the den as he put his shoes away and hung up his outerwear. It was almost as if you’d convinced yourself he was a mirage, and any sudden movements would cause his visage to dissipate. “Hey,” Spencer said, cocking his head at you as if he were confused why you hadn’t come any closer to him. He peeked around you to look at the tree, “Did the kids get to bed okay?”

Instead of answering him, your body naturally responded to what seemed like the miraculous appearance of your husband by producing tears. At first, they just welled along your lash line, but as they started to fall, you buried your face in your hands.

Spencer was there, not only in the house but also taking the initiative to approach you, he wrapped his arms around your torso, taking your tearful form under his care, “Is everything alright?” He asked, slowly dragging his hand up and down your spine, humming as you reciprocated his embrace and pressed your face into his shirt, drying your eyes and taking in the moment.

“Everything is wonderful,” you responded, your voice muffled by his shirt. He smelled like stale dark roast and the jet, but you were too relieved by his arrival to truly mind.

Tightening his grip briefly, he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, “Right, well. You’re crying, so I had to make sure,” he murmured, swaying gently to the music coming from the film.

You loosed a breath of relief, “I can’t believe you’re here. The kids were miserable at bedtime, Nell wouldn’t even talk to me until I told her you’ll be home for her birthday,” you informed him, keeping your arms wrapped firmly around him while you tipped your head back to see him.

Spencer nodded in understanding, reaching up a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “We made the arrest at eight and wrapped up around nine. Somehow, Emily convinced the pilot to leave in the middle of the night, and we were on the jet by ten. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent holidays in worse places, but I’d rather be here with you than in Milwaukee.”

“I will kiss Emily Prentiss on the mouth,” you told him candidly.

He raised his brows curiously, “Mhm, and what about me?”

Grinning, you pushed up on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his, an amalgamation of a welcome home and a Merry Christmas kiss, but you pulled away before you could get carried away. “Merry Christmas, Spencer Reid, we have work to do,” you told him, taking on a mock seriousness as you nodded your head toward the Christmas tree, which only had a fraction of your kids’ gifts beneath it.

“Merry Christmas, darling,” Spencer reciprocated, pressing one more kiss to your lips, “Let’s get started.”

Spinning out of his grip, you found you had much more pep in your step with his arrival, beaming as the two of you went through the house as quietly as possible, gathering the gifts for the kids without rousing any suspicion. Even grabbing the playhouse from the garage didn’t seem like as much of a task with him around.

You adjusted the stockings as it neared two in the morning, Spencer returned from upstairs with the last few gifts, having changed his clothes into pajamas that neatly matched yours—a family set that was a gift from your Penelope. “They look great,” Spencer assured you, pushing his glasses up on his nose as he stood back, admiring your handiwork.

Walking backward until your back was against your chest, you tilted your head to the side, appraising the mountain of gifts beneath the tree, “Do you think we went overboard this year?” Between the gifts from Santa and the gifts from the two of you, the heap was rather intimidating.

“No,” Spencer answered, “bigger kids, bigger gifts.” He put his arms around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head, “besides, they’re good kids.”

You hummed in response, leaning into him ever so slightly. Part of you felt like Spencer was still experiencing guilt surrounding the three months he spent away from you and the kids while he was in prison. No amount of time at home or therapy would ever absolve him of that guilt, but it never hurt to try, “Hey,” you whispered up to him, “I got you something.”

He frowned down at you, “I thought we said no gifts this year?”

Scoffing, you walked over to the home office, “We say that every year and neither of us ever stick to it, so go get whatever it is you got for me.”

Spencer rolled his eyes, but even so, he made his way upstairs to where you knew a gift was hiding in his bedside table. Upon his return, he faltered at the large box you’d placed on the coffee table and held up the small box in his hands; you beamed at him as he eyed the behemoth of a present.

He handed you the smaller box, instinctively, you admired the wrapping before starting to open it, recognizing the jewelry box before you had even discarded your wrapping paper. “Oh, Spence,” you said, looking at the necklace in the box, a dainty chain with five small gemstones on it. His birthstone and yours, followed by Nell’s amethyst, Livvy’s sapphire, and Finn’s tourmaline all strung next to each other, “it’s perfect,” you told him, lightly touching the gems with your fingertips. You’d mentioned wishing you had an everyday necklace a few weeks ago while getting ready, and he must’ve been listening more attentively than you’d thought.

Finally, you had him open his gift, and he was entirely speechless as he opened the cardboard flaps. His mouth gaped as he lifted one of the books in his hand, the title and edition identical to one that had been previously ruined in your house. “Fuck,” he cursed, looking from you to the books and back again.

You shrugged, “It’s not all of them, but a pretty good amount of them. Some of those editions are proving difficult to recover, but I’ve—” You’re cut off, startled by Spencer pressing his lips to yours. “I’m still looking for some,” you said breathlessly once he pulled away.

Spencer seemed unsure of what to do with himself; you’d managed to find replacements for three-fourths of the books that had previously been burned by an accidental fire set earlier this year. The only time your marriage had ever been on the rocks was when Diana lived with you, but even then, you’d been planning this surprise. “You are…” Spencer started, uncharacteristically at a loss for words, “This is incredible,” he told you, shaking his head in disbelief, setting the book down in the box and nearly tackling you in a hug.

Laughing, you buried your face in his shoulder to muffle the sound, “I love you,” you murmured to him, his body now next to yours on the couch.

“I love you too,” he said, looking at you with glassy eyes. “Wow,” he said, sniffling, “I need to get you something else. A necklace isn’t enough,” he told you, likely already thinking of options for addendums.

You shook your head, “Trust me when I tell you that your being here is worth all of the rare books in the world to me,” you reassured him, running your fingers through his hair. Humming, you adjusted your head on the pillow, “Are you gonna fall asleep like this?”

He nodded, “If you keep playing with my hair like that. How long do you think we have until they wake up?” He asked, keeping his eyes closed while you peeked over him to check the time.

Last year, Finn had woken up the whole house on Christmas Day at four in the morning, and seeing as it was nearing three, you wondered if it was worth sleeping at all. You continued combing through Spencer’s hair, “Do you want to go upstairs?”

“This is a really great couch,” he mumbled, already falling asleep on the couch, leading you to grab the blanket that was thrown over the back and haphazardly drape it over the two of you.

Unfortunately, it felt like you’d gotten no sleep at all when you heard the first stirring upstairs, “Mommy,” Olivia called out, which would likely wake up Finn and Nell.

You got up from the couch, waking up Spencer in the process. Your poor husband, who was probably already running on little sleep, got up and folded the blanket you had been using, returning it to its home while you went upstairs to get the kids.

Livvy’s eyes went wide when she saw you come from downstairs, “Did Santa come?” She asked you, nearly bouncing with excitement.

As you expected, the door to Eleanor’s room swung open, revealing your sleep-deprived five-year-old in her rumpled pajamas, “Yes, Santa brought gifts for everyone,” you answered, ruffling her hair before going into Finn’s room, hoping to wake him gently before the voices did a less delicate job. “Hi buddy,” you whispered, looking back to see the girls gathered at the door, completely unaware that their dad was waiting for them downstairs. “Merry Christmas,” you said softly, his scrunched face not processing what you were saying, but happy to see you, nonetheless.

You picked him up from the crib and herded the girls to the stairs, letting them lead the way down while you carried the baby. Right behind them, you watched the realization dawn on their faces as soon as they caught sight of Spencer, “Daddy!” Nell shouted, leading her little sister as they ran to him.

Laughing lightly, you let a squirming Finn down, running to Spencer in the same way the girls just had. From a distance, you watched as all three of your kids entirely bypassed the gifts under the tree and on the mantle and went straight to what was more important—their father was home for Christmas.

Spencer crouched down to get Finn, and at the same time, Livvy jumped in excitement, leaving Spencer falling backward and sitting on the ground while the kids formed a less-than-graceful dog pile on the floor. You took that as your cue to join in on the festivities, kneeling on the floor next to the familial pile, uncontrollable giggles emanated from everyone involved.

You wrangled the two littles in your arms, giving each of them dozens of kisses and receiving more laughter in return as Eleanor settled down. Your eldest took her moment of alone time and laid her head on Spencer’s chest, the grin on her face overtook the rest of her face, “Best Christmas ever,” she whispered before rolling off of him, Spencer instinctively lifting his hand so she doesn’t hit her head on the leg of the coffee table.

Nellie sat up giving you a toothy grin, sticking her tongue through where she was missing a front tooth. Everyone took notice of Olivia pointing at the tree, her mouth shaped like an “o” in awe, “Can we open that one?” She asked, pointing to the largest present in the stack—which, of course, had her name on it.

“Stockings first,” Spencer said, leading to a pout from your middle child, but it was quickly wiped away when he kissed the crown of her head. Your husband got up first, taking Finn from where he was tucked into your side, and set him on his hip, “Okay, who wants their stocking?”

Everyone’s hand went up—including yours.

[rafesangelita]

rafe + breeding kink

warnings: singledad!rafe, older!rafe (maybe like late twenties-early thirties), nanny!reader, rafe’s son calls you mommy, fluff, unprotected sex, dirty talk, mentions of pregnancy and having kids, creampie

a/n: breeding kink was so heavily requested omg, i love everyone who left a req for this <3 i definitely went a little overboard lol

“well, that worked like a charm.” rafe smiled down at you and his son who was currently cuddled into your side. “i don’t want to move away from him.” you pouted, running your fingers through the little boy’s hair. you had been doing this weird thing to rafe’s heart everytime he saw you caring for his boy, and he didn’t know what to make of it.

despite having been rafe’s nanny for nearly three years now, you still found yourself getting flustered every time you caught him staring at you. whether it was you folding laundry, or bending over to dust the entertainment center, all those little things were starting to add up into something both of you wouldn’t be able to come back from.

“do you think we could talk?” rafe helped you up from his son’s race car bed, a worried expression overtaking his features. “yeah, of course, is everything alright?” you didn’t miss the way he kept your hand in his, leading both of you downstairs after closing the door to little ray’s room. “yes, i actually wanted to talk about my salary-” rafe was quick to cut in.

“throw me a number and you got it.” he dropped your hand, ushering you to take a seat next to him. you laughed softly, shaking your head. “no, i don’t want more pay; quite the opposite, really.” rafe’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “you’re not quitting are you?” he heard his heart beating in his ears at your lack of response.

“no, god no!” you placed a hand on his arm, “i’ve been looking for another job because i don’t want to be paid for taking care of ray anymore..” you met his gaze, running your nails against his skin. “why?” rafe couldn’t wrap his head around your words, his eyes darting across your face.

“you know, i’ve been taking care of ray since he was two, and he’s going to be five next week.. i’ve grown so close to him.” you smiled. “caring for him, cooking for him, playing with him, loving him, it isn’t a job for me.” you didn’t realize you were crying until rafe wiped your cheek ever so gently. “you love him?” rafe’s voice was barely above a whisper, his own tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“i do, rafe. i love him so much.” you sniffled. “he called me mom the other day and i felt terrible ‘cause i bursted into tears on the spot, and he thought he made me sad but i was just overjoyed.” you laughed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “i want you to know that i’m not trying to take the place of his mother, i would never do that..”

rafe knew ray called you mom. it wasn’t too long ago that ray said, ‘mommy made my favorite pancakes!’ when rafe asked him about his day and made his heart damn near stop in his chest when he heard the word fall from his son’s lips. “you’re the closest thing he has to a mother. i don’t even know how to thank you for that.” he leaned in, embracing you tightly.

you two stayed like this for a couple moments before you pulled away, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “i called mrs. anderson to set up a playdate with ray and her son, and do you want to know what she said?” you stifled a laugh as rafe relaxed into the couch. “what?” he admired the way you lit up while talking about ray.

“she said that ray was a little more on the wild side and that it would be in her son’s best interest if they didn’t hang out anymore.” you watched as rafe shrugged. “that little nerd was too boring, anyways.” you gasped, slapping his chest playfully. “rafe!” you whispered, both of you covering your mouths to keep from being too loud.

he quieted down, sighing to himself before looking up at the ceiling, you following suit. “i do worry about that sometimes. i feel like ray needs more of a permanent friend, like a sibling..” he trailed off, glancing at you only to see you were looking at him already. “a sibling?” you raised your eyebrows. “how would you go about that?” you cleared your throat, trying to ignore the smidge of jealousy that settled in the pit of your stomach.

“want me to explain to you how babies are made?” rafe scooted closer, his arm draping over your shoulders. “no need, i’m well aware.” you waved him off. “yeah?” he guided you on top of his lap, both of you looking at each other with dark swirling in your eyes. “tell me, y/n, ‘you ever think about having little ones?” his large hands came up to rub against your thighs.

rafe felt as if he was approaching that line he’s been wanting to cross since the first time he interviewed you all those years ago. “yes.” you let out a shaky breath when you felt rafe’s fingertips move under your blouse. “you would make such a good mother, you’d want that wouldn’t you?” you cupped his face as his lips ghosted over your own.

you moaned once he finally kissed you, both of your clothes coming off before you could have enough time to think. “gonna fill you up and make you have my babies, yeah?” he laid you down on the soft cushions, running the head of his cock between your wet folds. “yes, please.” you mewled, eyes shining with lust as he took your chin between his thumb.

“fuck, you’re so beautiful.” he covered your mouth, muffling the yelp that left your lips when he entered you slowly, your silky walls welcoming him inch by inch. his strokes were slow and full of intention, his arms caging you in while you two shared the kind of kisses that made your head spin. “been wanting you like this for so long.” he cursed under his breath.

you whimpered, arms wrapping around his neck as you trailed kisses across his jaw. the intimacy of having his body flush against yours wasn’t like anything you’ve ever experienced, your soft cries driving him on the brink of fucking you senseless. “oh, my god,” you clawed at his skin, making him hiss as he tugged at the roots of your hair to make you look up.

“i can see it already; all three of us going to the beach and rubbing on your round belly, all pretty and pregnant.” rafe picked up his pace, your hips now moving with his to meet his thrusts. “i want that so bad!” you nearly screamed when he started toying with your clit, both of you holding onto one another like your life depended on it.

“jesus, fuck-” his movements came to a halt before he placed your legs on his shoulders, leaning down until your thighs met the cushions underneath you. snaking an arm around your lower back, you gasped when he started lifting you up, fucking you onto his cock so he could reach deeper than before. “r-rafe!” your mouth fell open, eyes blinking slowly.

with one hand still rubbing your clit, and the head of his length continuously hitting your sweet spot, you found yourself approaching the edge of euphoria. rafe can tell by the way you were clenching around him that you were going to cum soon. “hold out a little longer for me, baby. ‘want you to cum when i fill you up.” he pressed a kiss to your temple, hips stuttering once the band in his stomach snapped.

burying his head in the curve of you neck, he moaned against your skin as he stilled, the head of his cock nudging your cervix. you felt the moment he finished, the hot ropes of his cum filling you to the hilt as your thighs started trembling. rafe clamped a hand over your mouth, whispering a ‘let me feel you cum around me.’ before you obliged, your orgasm hitting you in long waves of ecstasy.

you laid helplessly, trying your hardest not to scream at the intense feeling in your tummy, your eyes rolling back as he rubbed a soothing hand on your side. rafe helped you come down from your climax, the aftershocks of your orgasm making your body jolt with every stroke of his fingers against your skin. he stayed nestled inside of you, both of you embracing each other as your breathing slowed, sleep weighing heavy on your eyelids.

“you did so good for me, are you feeling okay?” you blinked up at him, a smile making its way to his lips when he saw the fucked out expression on your face. “mhmm, ‘don’t think i could get up though.” you hissed once he pulled out, watching as he slipped on his pants. “let’s get in the shower, you’re staying here.” he helped you up, putting his large button down over your shoulders.

rafe carried you upstairs, tiptoeing past ray’s room before both of you got in the shower, round two well underway. it wasn’t until you were laying rafe’s bed, adorned in one of his t-shirts that you two heard little ray’s voice outside the door. “daddy? can i come in?” rafe rubbed a reassuring hand on your arm, shouting a ‘yes, son!’ before ray strided inside, running up to you excitedly.

“can i sleep in here, pleaseee,” you embraced him, telling him yes before rafe could get the chance to tell him otherwise. “are you sleeping over?” the little boy peered up at you, wasting no time in settling under the comforter of rafe’s bed. you giggled, flashing rafe a look. “yes, i am.” ray looked over at his father, studying him for a minute.

you watched them have a silent conversation with their eyes, the scene making your heart melt. “goodnight, daddy,” he patted rafe’s chest, “..goodnight, mommy.” he pecked your cheek, the waterworks threatening to spill over at any moment. rafe reached over, taking your hand in his before he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “goodnight.”

[meowzfordayz]

revealing outfit prank — hashira men

Author’s Note: borderline 18+NSFW, but ~mostly just suggestive. 😉

revealing outfit prank — hashira men

Himejima Gyomei x Reader, Iguro Obanai x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~2,000

CW: explicit language, Fem!Reader, mild sexual content

Suggestion Fulfilled: You know those girlfriend pranks on YouTube where the girl wears a sexy/revealing outfit to out in? Can I have HCs of our Hashira with a S/O who tries to walk out in such an outfit? Of course, they respect her choice in wearing whatever she wants, but that outfit is too tempting...

~faqs~

“Hey babe, guess what I’m wearing!”

“Clothes…” 

—I mean, he’s not wrong 🙃

You huff, “Guess again.”

Gyomei pauses, wracking his brain for whatever else you could have on

“... not, clothes?” 🤨

“Well I’m not going out to dinner naked!”

“A cardboard box?” 😅

You can see his brow furrowing

He’s trying his best! 🥺

“So remember that slip dress I was describing for you a while ago?” 😏

His face warms as he recalls how you’d painted quite the picture of dainty ribbon details, an open back, and a satin hem that would barely brush past your thighs

He clears his throat, voice lower than before, “I remember that I encouraged you to buy it.”

He freezes, eyes widening, gaze focusing in the direction of your soft breaths, “You’re wearing it?!!!”

You giggle, he gulps

You can hear his inward groan 😩

“Isn’t it exciting?!” you squeal, stepping toward him, playful palms splaying across his chest as you grin up at his restrained expression, “I feel so pretty!” 😌

“You are so pretty,” he nearly growls, large hands settling promptly on your hips, “Maybe we shouldn’t go out after all.”

“Oh?” 👀

He chuckles as his fingers caress the silky, smooth fabric hugging your body, sensing the heat emanating from your bare, warm skin, eager to feel the curve and seduction of your spine, your shoulder blades, the tenderness of your nape

“I beg your pardon,” he rasps, an unfamiliar darkness in his tone as his fingers move upward to tug at your carefully tied spaghetti straps, tiny bows squished beneath the intensity of his touch, “I’m an adult, you know. I can have dessert for dinner.”

😳🥵🫠

—

“Gyomeeeiii!”

“My love?” ☺️

“I CAN’T POST THIS!” 😭😭😭

“And why not? Is my rizz too much for YouTube?”

“YES.” 😐

“You’re going out in that?” 🧐

You glare back, arms crossing over your chest

A not so subtle attempt to emphasize your tits 😌

Obanai not so subtly glances downward

“I repeat, in that?” 

“The hell is wrong with what I’m wearing?” you scowl haughtily, “I thought you’d like it!” 😞

Blinking in disbelief, Obanai rolls his eyes, amusement softening his judgmental expression 🙄

“I’m not a fucking idiot,” he grumbles, “Of course I love it,” glare returning as he points an accusing finger at you, “But the last time you went out in something like that you ended up stealing all of my layers because you got cold!”

“Well then wear more layers!” you quip cheekily

“That’s my line!” 😐

*sigh*

“Do you want me to change?” 😕

“Absolutely not!” he snaps, ears reddening even as he makes a disgruntled gesture, “But, please, grab a coat.”

“Are you fed up with me?” 🤗

You inch closer to him

His breath hitches

“No.”

“Are you suuure?”

You can hear his heartbeat now, can see the restraint in his hands as he keeps them firmly by his sides

“If we don’t leave soon, then I’ll show you how not fed up with you I am.” 🙃

You grin easily, lips grazing his earlobe as you murmur

“Obanai, I don’t think that was nearly as threatening as you hoped it was.”

He inhales sharply, stepping away from your sweet, sultry scent, feigning sullenness when he mutters

“Your tits are staring at me.” 😃

You laugh, bouncing on the balls of your feet just enough for them to jiggle slightly

“Or are you staring at my tits?” 😉

He audibly groans, head tilting backward as he averts his gaze

“I hate this.” 😒

—

Rest assured, you never make it to your reservation 🤫

The video never makes it to YouTube either

PornHub, however…

Jk, jk

And Obanai does not hate this 😏

“You are breathtaking!” Kyojuro declares, beaming with pride as you twirl for him

He’s doing his best to ignore the fact that he can see your lacey panties when you spin

“Thank you!” you smile, striking a pose for him, “I feel so amazing in this dress.”

“You are amazing in any dress!” 😁

He’s earnest with the perfect dash of seriousness — like he needs to know that you know you’re beautiful

A gentleman as always 🥺

You hesitate, feeling almost guilty as you ask slowly

“Am I only amazing?” 🤭

You hope you’re coming off coy and alluring 😅

For all of his awkwardness, Kyojuro is nothing if not straightforward

“You are also sexy! Most definitely sexy!” 😍

Your expression cracks, your giggling filling the hallway as endeared laughter accompanies you

“How sexy?” you wink, an exaggerated, playful flirtation

Fortunately, Kyojuro loves improv 😏

—Yes, and!

“The sexiest woman I have known, I know, and I will know.”

There he goes again

Earnest, serious, and almost unbearingly sweet 😭💘

“Kyo,” you persist, “I’m trying to seduce you.”

He grins at that, eyes narrowing so quickly you nearly miss the tantalizing glint that flashes through them

“Oh I am aware, sweetheart,” he purrs, gesturing with his index finger for you to twirl again

You do, oblivious to the way his jaw clenches, gaze thickens, your pretty, dainty panties on display for him once more

“Look at me,” he commands softly, relishing the dazed, dizzy, glowing color of your face, “Look at me, and tell me whether you have succeeded.”

You look

It’s impossible to miss his erection, straining against his pants, bulge teasing and beckoning you to come closer

—

You post the video, minus a sizeable chunk 😶

“So people are allowed to thirst over you, but not me?” ☹️

You snort as Kyojuro pouts, patting his arm consolingly, “You can’t really see anything when I’m spinning, but your dick is a little too obvious.”

He perks up at that, kissing your cheek with reassured confidence, “It is quite large.”

—Whatever makes him feel better, y’know 😆

—That being said, it is quite large 🫣

P.S. Kyojuro begs to differ; he can see plenty when you’re spinning 😃

Help this man 😵‍💫

He is TIRED 😮‍💨

—Don’t get me wrong!

Sanemi does his best to be a good sport 🥺

And he’s 1,000% watched your videos in “secret”, numerous times over; you are entertaining ☺️

On nights when you’re apart, he falls asleep to his Favorites list (which consists solely of you) on auto-play

But there’re just one (thousand) too many trends for him to keep up with, and he never knows when he’s going to be your ~victim again 🙃

“Is this another prank?” he sighs, only slightly exasperated as his eyes stray from your pretty mouth to your tits practically spilling from your top 🫣

“Oh, so now I can’t look nice without it being a prank?” you retort, scowling playfully, “Rude.” Raising his hands in mock defense, Sanemi smiles softly as you step closer to him

“You can touch me, y’know,” you murmur gently, “I’m not gonna break.”

Swallowing thickly, he lowers his arms, forearms hooking around your hips as he pulls you in

“Yeah,” he croaks, scanning the bedroom for wherever you might’ve hid your phone, desperation and desire bubbling in his throat, “But I’m not so sure about your outfit, it’s got so many strings and… and, holes.” 😃

You laugh cheerfully, squeezing his waist as you inform him, “They’re cutouts. They’re supposed to be sexy.” 😌

“They are,” he replies bluntly, stifling a long inhale as he willingly gives into his fate, “You are so fucking sexy.”

He’s already plucking at your shoulder straps, somehow boxing you in with his broad, chiseled body, even though it’s his back against the wall

“You’re not gonna ask me how I manage to avoid getting tangled?” you tease, your breasts pressed firm and warm into his chest as his heartbeat quickens

The question had occurred to him, but-

“Why the hell would I ask that when I could be untangling you instead?”

—

“Send me the video.” 😐

“Excuse me?”

You’re grinning

“Please.” 😞

He’s begging

You acquiesce, the thought of Sanemi jerking off to it later inspiring you to reach down again 😉

(Now imagine his faintly pained moan as you slowly caress him, valiantly hardening in your careful grip as he mentally prepares himself, this time intending to punish you; you can’t keep missing your reservations! 😤)

#the pranks are getting out of hand 😬

#but Sanemi can’t really find it in himself to be bothered 😶

#at least not when he’s already in something else 😏

“Why are you going out in that?” 🤨

“What are you implying?” you frown

“I asked first.”

You huff, “And your question offended me.” 😒

Grimacing, Giyuu glances downward, “I didn’t mean-”

“Do I look horrible?” ☹️

You almost feel badly, giggles brimming in your chest 🤭

“No.”

“Do I look too good?” 😌

You can practically see the gears turning in his head 

“Yes? No. Yes. Wait. I’m confused.” 🫠

“How does my outfit make you feel?” 😉

He pauses at that, swallowing nervously as you run teasing hands up your sides, accentuating your hips and bust

“I look good, right?” 🥺

“Of course.”

“Do I look too good?” 😏

*Giyuu Panic 2.0 activated*

“What does that mean?” 😭

He’s hushed, in awe of your luscious form, inhaling roughly when you step into his immediate proximity, the hem of your dress nearly brushing against his shins as you twirl for him

“Giyuu, am I turning you on?”

When in doubt, go for frankness

*Giyuu Panic 2.0 deactivated*

Ohhh 😳🙄😎 <— he gets it now

“Not at all,” he says smoothly, “You look quite comfortable.”

You pout, fingers curling into the collar of his shirt as you nudge his feet apart, slipping your leg between his thighs as you close the distance, your body pressing clumsy and hot against his

He sighs, a quiet, enraptured sound, delicately brushing the straps of your dress from your shoulders before he rasps, “I am turned on. Delightfully so.”

Your dress crumples sheer and light to the floor, Giyuu’s jaw ticking with desire as he realizes just how easily it slipped off

“And you,” he murmurs, delicious warning in his tone as he thumbs the undersides of your tits, “Are such a pretty slut.”

—

“Why is it that every time I try and prank you, you end up fucking me instead?” 🥲

“Hm,” Giyuu hums, voice thick with amusement, “Seems premeditated to me.” 🥴

“Giyuu-!” you sputter 🫣

“GiYuU!” he smirks 🙃

“Are you mocking me?” 😠

“And?” he grins 😎

“See if I ever prank you again!” 😤

“Oh you will,” he remarks, nonchalant and cool, “Judging by how many times we changed the sheets yesterday, I’m not even worried.” 😃

Ngl, Tengen’s a lil desensitized 😆

He’s got four wives

He knows you’re all hot af 😉

He knows he’s hot af 😎

There’s not much you can do to faze him

Except like, get injured or something, but that’s kinda the opposite of what you’re aiming for 🥴

“Does this mean we’re fucking after dinner?”

✨He has a way with words✨

“Tengen,” Hina scolds

“So vulgar!” Suma exclaims

“Don’t act so innocent when you’ve ambushed me looking like that,” Tengen mutters, pants already tightening as he takes in the silken fabric draped delicate and precarious over your breasts, “Who’s idea was this?”

“Whose do you think?” Makio snorts

“Tengen,” you say breezily, reaching out to grasp his hand, stroking a coy, tender thumb across his knuckles, “Let’s go, we’re going to be late.”

“Obviously,” he grunts, eyes shining with appreciation—a welcomed promise—as he raises your palm to his lips, kissing your fingertips one by one, “We’re not leaving.”

—

“Hold up, you made two reservations?” Tengen shrieks

Your eyes roll as if to say Duh, already rummaging for a new dress while Suma helps pat Makio’s back dry, steam from the attached bathroom wafting into the bedroom

“She’s always prepared,” Hina chirps proudly, kissing your jaw with a fond smile

“That, and Tengen’s always horny,” you smirk

You don’t really have a video suitable for YouTube 😅, but you do post Before/After photos of the ~prank on Instagram with a cheeky Unfortunately, the “During” photos are NSFW 😏🫢🍑🍆 caption