#and when i mentioned how bad my nightmares are thats what they decided to try out with me!

[erythristicbones]

Hi is it weird to ask what “ptsd nightmare” pills are

I have had ptsd nightmares on the daily for years and I thought I just had to live with it; there’s treatment???????

Oh, well technically the medication my doctor has put me on for my nightmares isn't specifically for nightmares! They have me on Prazosin, which is typically prescribed for blood pressure regulation, but has a side effect of making some people not have dreams/nightmares. So, they put me on a low enough dose that I get that side effect but don't have it affect my blood pressure

[mustangbby]

-> sleepy cuddles

synopsis -> wriothesley comes home tired and upset from a bad day at the fortress. so, you just have to indulge in a cuddle session.

warnings -> angsty, sad wrio nooo.. mentions of fighting, baby sigewinne got hurt oh no, more angsty than i thought whoops

w/c -> 659

you were awakened to heavy footsteps entering your home at around 11:00 pm.

usually they’re a lot softer, much less aggressive, thats for sure. you recognized them though- they were your husband, wriothesleys. he seemed pretty upset.

you pick your head up from the pillow, groaning as you slowly got out of bed to see what he was doing. to no surprise, he was in the kitchen, brewing tea. he had his head in his hands, oblivious to your approaching form.

“wrio… whats wrong?” you said in a raspy, groggy tone, and accidentally startled the man, for you were able to catch him jump the slightest bit before bringing one of his hands into yours. “talk to me.”

he just groaned, pulling you flush against his chest, before nearly breaking down into tears. when you felt the first drop of wetness on your bare shoulder, you pulled out of the hug, grabbing his face in gentle hands.

“okay, something is seriously wrong. how bad was today?” you look at him in pity. one thing you’ve learned from being married to this man for two and a half years is that when the great, mighty duke of meropide cries, it’s almost as important as if the city flooded over with primordial seawater. but only that important to you.

he took a shaky breath in, and then looked down. “pretty bad. two inmates decided to pick on sigewinne. her injuries were enough to send her up here for more professional medical treatment. even for me, it was scary, seeing how she felt helpless and couldn’t patch herself up like she normally does.” he exhaled. “they took her vision and taunted me with it. obviously i got it back, but not without a fight.”

you nod, standing next to him as he pours his tea in a mug. he took a sip before offering you some, in which you politely declined.

“how long is sigewinnes absence going to last? if anything, i have some medical experience behind my back. i can stich up a wound at most. if you want my help in the infirmary, then i’d be happy to offer.”

he scratched his temple, seeming to debate on whether or not that would be a good idea.

“we’ll see, i have yet to get detailed information on her stay. once i get more, i’ll let you know if thats needed or not.”

you nod, before taking his hand in yours, leading him into bed. he changed his clothes before joining you.

once you two made it into bed, he snuggled up against you as you rubbed his back to try and ease some of his pains. you could tell the incident involving sigewinne was weighing like a fifty pound weight on his mind, and you wanted to silently remind him that you were always there for him.

this is where you felt the tears spill out, with light gasps to follow. he was never an obnoxious cryer. you just held him tighter, allowing him to cry it out and allow his mind to process things.

you continued to rub his back and shoulders, calming him down. he hugged you even tighter, shoving his face in your chest before finding it okay to shut his eyes. your hands made their way from his back, to his shoulders, to the back of his head, fluffing his soft hair. it smelled very nicely of tea leaves and a sweet and smokey scent. something you could compare to vanilla, but with a, once again, smokier touch to it. he loved when you put your head on top of his, occasionally leaning in to kiss it.

within a matter of ten minutes, he had drifted off. you kept him close, making sure a nightmare doesn’t rouse him from his sleep. the last thing you both wanted was him to be tired in the morning, and adding that to additional stress? oh, the duke certainly was not a morning person.

[betzabobababi]

Stages

Hello Hello! This is 2/3 for my fics today. 1000% cried. Don't judge. The stages hit close to home. If you now what I mean with "I added one more" (you'll have more context around the end of the fic) then congrats! Anyways enjoy. Don't hesitate to like and or reblog really helps an author out <3

Warnings: Major character deaths/5 Stages of grief/ mentions of blood

for now I think thats it let me know if I missed some warning

Pairing: None

Summary: The way you grieved. How does someone put their life together after half of the universe and family are gone?

Type: 100% angst

It all happened so fast. One second you were standing next to your family, the only family you’ve ever had. The avengers were your family. And now half of it had disappeared into thin air. They dissolved into who knows what. Everything was just so confusing. 

FLASHBACK

“Yo-You should have gone for the head….” a gruff voice who you could only assume was Thanos said and in a split second there was a clink. And even faster than you could blink your friends and family started to disappear. 

You turned around and bucky was gone. You closed your eyes and you saw t'challa dissolve. You saw a group of people somewhere that didn’t look like earth dust away. You saw Peter. And you saw the pain that Tony had on his face. Sam. Doctor Strange. Wanda. Nick and Maria. Clint’s family. 

Half of everyone that you grew to love and learned to care for just disintegrated. 

END OF FLASHBACK

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Five years went by and each represented one of the stages of grief

YEAR ONE

Your first year was denial. Denying the truth that most of the people you knew were gone. Denial helped you survive. The world became meaningless and overwhelming. Life made no sense. You were numb. The first year you stayed with Natasha in the compound. You helped her keep track of everyone that was left. Other than going out to help Natasha for a few hours a day, eating, going to the bathroom and sleeping were the only things that you’d do during a day. As you began to accept the reality of what happened you unknowingly began to heal. You became stronger and the denial began to fade. But as you moved on, all the feelings you spent a year burying, ignoring and denying began to surface.

YEAR TWO

The anger you felt was more like blinding white rage. You were angry with yourself for not doing things better. Your rage went towards thanos. You hated him for taking the people you loved away from you. You worked so hard to get here, and he just gradually showed up and took it away. Starting with the attack of 2012 and then in 2018 when Banner showed up at the sanctum sanctorum. And even though you weren’t there you knew. You knew something was wrong. So when Steve’s flip phone went off indicating tony was calling it just supported your knowledge. You felt angry that you werent there when Tony went missing. Around September of your second year you decided you would stop feeling angry all the time. Sure you’d still be angry but it would only be on a low level.

YEAR THREE

Bargaining was something that you just couldn't let go. As much as you would have loved to let go of all the nightmares and bad memories of the day on wakanda you couldn’t, so you replaced it with trying to find a different outcome. Your third year Tony and Pepper saw how bad your stages of grief were getting. Tony went through his stages rather quickly unlike you where they were taking a year per stage. So they invited you to move in with them, because they knew that bargaining would definitely be hard for you. Possibly even harder for you than it was for Tony.

You threw yourself into studying parallel universes. Dead end. Time travel seemed like the most logical thing at least to you it was. But when you conversed with Tony he denied the possibility of time travel. 

“Y/n, the day that time travel is invented then I’ll put you on the will.” 

“You sure you’ll put me on the will? Because all of the research points towards time travel. All we need is something that connects point to point.”

“Yes. I will. I’ll put you on the will, I swear.”

You bargained until you knew it would be possible to change the way things happened. The only reason you didn’t act on it was because you didn’t have the resources. Time travel was the only answer. No bargaining with higher power, you’d tried that and it’d never work. You bargained yourself from time to time. Your mental, emotional and physical health were at risk because of your bargaining. If only you’d been with Thor, you could've helped him. All of your if onlys and what if’s kept you up at night. If only the attack of 2012 would’ve been more descriptive as to who started it. If only you would have joined the battle earlier. If only time travel was possible.

YEAR FOUR

Depression hits you like hell. After bargaining your attention moved to the present. Empty feelings presented themselves, and grief entered your life on a deeper level. Deeper than anyone could have imagined. Your depressing stage felt as if it could last forever. Now that you had moved on from all your past stages you focused on what was in front of you. Nothing. Nothing was infront of you. After the snap, you stayed at the compound. Then you moved in with Tony, Pepper and Morgan. But that was almost all you had. Sure, you checked in on the rest of the team, and you made sure everyone else was ok. Before Thanos you had been known for being able to fix anything. Broken mug? Done. Squeaky door? Done before someone could say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. But your life had been cut in half. How were you supposed to fix that?

You withdrew from anyone and anything around you, staying in your room, left in an intense fog of sadness and emptiness. Wondering perhaps, if there was any point in going on alone. And yes you did know it was selfish of you to take years to move on, it was selfish of you to shut everyone out when you knew that all they wanted to do is help. But why go on if only half of the people you loved were going to be there with you?

YEAR FIVE

You knew that this situation would never be ok or it’s never be “right”. But you learned to accept it. You learned to accept the reality that your loved ones were now physically gone. 

“Personally I believe that when I recognized that this new reality was going to be permanent I decided to start moving on” You said to Tony out of the blue one day. Tony being Tony he decided that he’d do everything to help you move on with your life.

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“See you in a minute” 

Only she never did

And then Bruce stapped. As soon as he had snapped you saw how everyone was holding in their breath. You were too. When Clint’s phone started ringing you knew that it worked. You knew that they were back, you felt it. You closed your eyes and you saw them reappearing where they stood five years ago. But you felt something was wrong. You felt a presence you felt you only felt in wakanda. Thanos. And even though you knew it was not possible you realized, if you and the team figured out time travel. Why can’t he? Turned out he had.

You were now under what was left of the compound. Covered in dirt and hair mucky. You found a way out only to realize the scene in front of you wasn’t the best. There stood Steve Thor on one side and Tony on the other. All looking like they were about to have the fight of their lives (kinda were). Although you knew that three of them wouldn’t be enough to defeat thanos You wanted to see what they’d do. 

“You could not live with your own failure. What did that bring you? Back to me.” Thanos says, looking at Tony, Thor and Steve. Feeling light headed you slowly started to lose consciousness from your injuries. A few seconds go by and you pass out. 

When you wake up Steve is standing a few feet away from Thanos when he starts to turn around. Slowly he brings his hand up to his ear where the coms should be. All of a sudden you see yellow little sparks appearing behind steve. All around his background you see the sparks. As the portals fully form you see a portal that leads to wakanda, T’challa, Shuri, and Dora emerge from the portal. Sam comes flying out of there as well.  Another portal leads to a place that looks nothing like earth (nothing new there) where Peter and the guardians come out of along as Doctor Strange. Wanda, the students of the mystic arts, Wasp, Valkyrie, people you’ve never met, and people who were definitely not people. Although it may have seemed like a lot of people you knew it would mean anything compared to Thanos’s army. But you could at least try.

TIME SKIP

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You were at the point in the battle where everyone was exhausted from fighting and they were nowhere near done with the fight. When you saw Pepper fight next to Tony you felt happy for them, especially since she was wearing the suit Tony had made for her. You took a breather, stopped fighting and looked around. When you notice Strange slowly and shakily lifts his finger showing one. Now you weren’t there on Titan but you knew from what Tony told you that there was only one combination where they’d win. All of the people around you were ready to sacrifice themselves for humanity. To save other people from what had happened five years ago. But you, you were determined to not make other people go through the five fucking stages of grief. So you did the logical thing. You let your family and friends around you have their happy ending.

You knew that if you didn't get the glove on time, Tony would snap. He’d sacrifice himself for everyone, even when he had a daughter and home to go back to. You on the other hand didn’t have a home to go to. You had family but you knew it would be difficult for you to adjust again and you being there, going through more grief while others tried to adjust to missing five years of their life, didn't sit well with you. Now there might only have been one outcome where everyone would win, but you being you forced your way into being two. So, you snapped. You sacrifice yourself for everyone you love. And you won. Now you’d be able to see Natasha and your parents. The last five years of your life, you spent grieving. Tony came up to you once you'd snapped, "I added you to the will kid, you were supposed to be there to read it." "don't worry T, *hoarsley* they say there are five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, and T you know what? I added a stage" "what was that kid?" "revenge." With that Tony chuckled laid his forehead on yours and slowly broke apart walking towards pepper with tears in his eyes. Slumped down sitting on a piece of rubble everyone said there tearful goodbye to you as you drifted into death. Ending your stages.

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Side note:

Tony did put you in the will. Because time travel was possible and also because he thought he'd be the one snapping.

[onequetwo]

Lion In the Cold: A Vento Aureo Fanfic

AKA: I try writing fanfcition(it sucks)(a lot)

i like fanfiction.

so i decided to take a crack at writing my own fanfiction and honestly? i'm kind of disappointed with the results.

but someone told me that this site is a nice place to post fanfics and get good feedback and learn how to improve so lets see if thats true

and if i get bullied off of this cursed website then whatever. its not like i was here for very long anyway

uh this takes place pre-vento aureo, when bucciarati's squad only consists of abbachio and fugo. yeah idk what else to say

hope you enjoy (or not)

Abbachio had mixed feelings about keeping watch.

He was cold, tired, and miserable - but it’s not like he wished the job onto one of his teammates. Though, if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure what good keeping watch was going to be. No sane individual was going to attack them in that weather.

Not to mention that it was, frankly, impossible to see. The overwhelming darkness obscured everything over ten feet away from his position outside the tent. The wind tore at Abbachio’s jacket, painfully slapping it against his skin repeatedly, while the raindrops that fell almost completely horizontally were like constant shotgun pellets to the face. Granted, they were keeping him awake; he wasn’t sure if he would be able to stay conscious otherwise, with the near-zero amount of sleep he had gotten over the course of the last week. But Bruno, who had assigned him to sentry duty, didn’t know that.

“He doesn’t have to,” he thought to himself. Whatever he was dealing with, Abbachio reasoned, Bruno had it worse. As the team leader, Bruno always took it badly when missions went sideways, and to say this one did was a bit of an understatement.

It seemed simple enough on paper. He, Bruno, and Fugo were to drive out to Venice at dawn, retrieve some signed documents, and return at midnight. Everything had gone smoothly until on the way back, the car was attacked. Bruno had dispatched the enemy eventually with his Sticky Fingers, but none of them had made it out completely unscathed. He and Fugo had received some nasty bruises, Bruno’s arm was wrapped in gauze, and the car was completely destroyed. They had barely managed to pitch the tent from their survival bag before night fell and the storm swept in.

Abbachio checked his watch in the weak lantern light and sighed. He would be out there at least another hour before he was supposed to wake Bruno. He was just about to put his watch wrist back down, however, when a faint murmur from behind startled him.

He whipped around, calling out Moody Blues to his side in a defensive stance, but couldn’t see anyone. Glancing around, he frowned. Nobody was there. 

Abbachio recalled Moody Blues and stepped towards the tent, carefully unzipping the flap to peer inside. Within the safety of the canvas, Fugo was visibly sound asleep, curled up unmoving under his green coat. Bruno, however, was resting far less peacefully. Every few seconds, he mumbled something incomprehensible before rolling over or shifting around. He was asleep, Abbachio figured, but having some sort of nightmare.

Abbachio crouched down next to Bruno, unsure of what to do. Should he wake him? Should he walk away and resume keeping watch? But something inside Abbachio he couldn’t describe compelled him to stay at his comrade’s side.

Awkwardly, he put his hand on Bruno’s head, brushing his fingers lightly through his leader’s hair. “Hey,” he said softly, fully aware that Bruno probably couldn’t hear him, “It’s ok. I’m here.”

And as if he had spoken some sort of magical sleep incantation, Bruno instantly ceased his unconscious struggling. 

Abbachio stared in disbelief for a moment. What… what just happened? Had he just soothed Bruno out of a bad dream? Was his presence…comforting? Some unfamiliar emotion welled up inside of him.

He mentally slapped himself. Gangsters like him couldn’t afford to be sentimental, especially not on missions. But was that really all Bruno was to him? Just another member of the same crime organization? No; to him, Bruno was more than just a workplace acquaintance. He was a friend. And maybe more than that.

With that, struggling to push down his uncharacteristic burst of tenderness, Abbachio stepped back outside. 

Maybe he would let Bruno sleep until morning.

[xenomorphicdna]

Op I love you

I was planning on making a post but you done it for me so I'm simply gonna add :]

Look, I love this game and the community here has all sorts of cool things going on, but dear god could I not disagree more from a lot of very common fanon interpretations. Iterators on the string is my main thing and I've made several posts about that so I won't be mentioning it.

There is a lot of ancient depictions as cruel assholes. Which I personally really hate because what do you mean they were all evil and horrible towards their iterators ??? They literally say how they have parental obligations for them, they literally stand up for Five Pebbles when some guys send in hate. And all the depiction of ascension being bad, oh the ancients all wanted to die and take everything with them.

Why is everything always assumed that is is done with the worst intentions??

Maybe there was IS love behind their reasoning. Ascend all the creatures? Yeah because life is hard, yes there are joys but there is also pain, survival is difficult. Creatures will die, they sleep hungry, they will lose their young, they will get hurt. There are joys in sitting in the sun, in eating the odd bugs, in playing with fellow packmates. Maybe ascension isn't bad if they can have all the good without the bad. Did the ancients see that? Did they see that and decide they were all deserving of transcendence?

Maybe all they tried to do was done with love in mind.

Ok I got super off topic cuz this post is about Five Pebbles. But yes, Pebbles ain't a kid. And I really despise how common the portrayal of him being incapable of anything is. Same with fanon arti.

And actually I will just copy n paste this from discord cuz I mentioned it there:

Arti spends a while living life in hatered. We dont start the campaign as fresh to the whole deal. Arti has been killing scavs for a while she is LOCKED at the -100 (or whatever it is) scav rep. By now, shes so far gone in this hatred of hers. When she meets Pebbles he literally says how he finds her actions appalling,, and i think after watching an animal go and dedicate herself to genocide,, yeah he has a point.

Pebbles isnt a piece of shit asshole, arti is unreasonable in her slaughter. But pebbles is willing to tolerate her, its just an animal afterall, whatever, he has more important things to do, and right now, he has a scav problem. Let the animal clear out the pests.

He reads pearls to her, but thats sorta about it. He cant hurt her, so he might as well ignore her if shes bouncing around his chamber.

And arti has no reason to be sticking around and bothering a puppet in a box with pretty lights. Arti is so full of anger, she's so willing to kill and to me, shes so deep in the rabbit hole she just isnt crawling back out. She's damaged permanently.

And while i love my happy endings, arti doesnt get redemption

and i dont think arti's ascnesion ending is about her overcoming that urge to kill, but its accepting that all this slaughter she caused,, its not about her pups anymore and that they are dead. At some point she started killing for the sake of it, she convinced herself that scavs are evil or something. It roots in getting justice for her pups but its gone so far beyond that by the time the campaign starts

the nightmares she has arent spending happy time with pups, its not her remembering them, they were at the start but they're not anymore. Its her killing a scav over and over again

Artificer is a vicious murder, and Pebbles has made mistakes looking for fairness in the world. Arti would not get along with hunter either, hunter is here trying to help moon, there is so much love in their heart and hunter stands for the exact opposite of what arti does.

i think pebbles is portrayed as a kid who is incapable of doing anything by himself. Bestie,,, that is an incredibly intelligent supercomputer not a child who cant do anything right

he makes mistakes, yes, but they arent "omg hes so stupid baby"

Pebbles got a good heart, he's also perfectly capable of doing things on his own and doing things right. But like, theres so much about pebbles just being some pathetic loser and i actually hate that representation so much. As if this isnt the same guy who saw sliver's death, saw her life cut early just to solve a riddle that if unsolved will leave them to a horrible fate and went, "its not fair"

This guy actually cares so much about everybody. He's trying so hard to fix things, to help everyone everyone find the solution so that when the time comes they have a way out, he's doing so much and all of it under a horrible disease

And its not until rivulet to where he finally gives up, and he gives his heart to moon because at this point he has no use for it, not anymore.

There boom done

(Why I Think) Five Pebbles Is Not A Child

hello, all. it is 2am and i have An Opinion. you know what that means! essay

...okay, i might have lied; this will likely not be a proper essay because (upon looking through his dialogue on the wiki) this is very fucking hard to collect evidence for. not because it is unsupported in the text, but rather because it is attempting to refute a position that, in itself, i have seen little of others' specific reasoning for. It is a response, so to speak, to an argument that does not exist.

still, I will try, even though it's difficult, because this specific interpretation irks me and one thing about me is that when someone gets my blorbos slightly wrong I will attempt to write an essay about it regardless of whether i need to, want to, or should.

of course, mandatory disclaimer that you shouldn't, necessarily, trust me on this. I'm just some creature on the internet, what do I know? I'm not necessarily right about any of this, and you shouldn't feel pressured to change your personal interpretation because i, hollow gunpowder-arti, made a late-night post about it.

THAT BEING SAID,

I, personally, believe that Five Pebbles is not a child. I, personally, am somewhat uncomfortable with depictions of him as such.

the only proper 'evidence' I have heard for this stance is that he 'acts immaturely' (i believe generally referring to his behavior before and during spearmaster's campaign? i.e. the moon incident)--which I will concede, he does. but there is a difference between acting immature and being a child.

I will point out, also, that many times these narratives push either Moon, the Artificer, or both into a maternal role towards him--you all know my grievances with Fanon Motherly Arti, but even beyond that, it feels very.... iffy, to me.

I find that many times this idea attempts (either overtly or likely unintentionally) to absolve him of blame for his actions. which... five pebbles is not an unsympathetic or villainous character by any means. I mean that wholly and fully, in fact, I do relate to him in several ways (or... did, moreso when the hyperfixation was in full swing :P).

the situation is very complex, and Five Pebbles is not a bad person. That being said, he made terrible mistakes with terrible consequences. he acted rashly, impulsively, and, yes, at times cruelly. interpreting him as a child (and therefore not to be blamed for acting childishly), however, takes away a lot of this complexity--i would say almost as much, if not as much as interpreting him wholly villainously. because he was partially to blame. congratulations, you have made a perfectly good complex character and made him into a sweet innocent mockery of himself, who cannot be held accountable for his errors because he was a child and it was in his nature and he could not help it.

...if you cannot tell, this interpretation is very, very frustrating to me.

I... would like to go on, but I feel like I would just end up restating what I've already said. So. That's it, I guess.

One last reminder (which i do not think will be necessary, but you never know) to please not harass people on my behalf of course. This is not to say those who follow this interpretation are Problematic, simply to explain my reasoning for disagreeing with and even disliking it.

...how do I end this post. Bye, I guess?

[buuggerz]

🤎THE STOLL BROTHERS AND NICO💀

•While i gather my thoughts on my o au

Here is my brainrot babbles on the Stoll brothers and Nico di angelo

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You cant tell me the fact that Connor and Travis Stoll see Nico di angelo as Their Emo little brother- is a lie

They knew him when all he could Talk about was MythoMagic, Pirates, His Sister, and how cool he thought Percy was.

They knew The little 10-year-old camper that was unclaimed in the Hermes Cabin, Who asked a-million questions a minute, and still had so much wonder in his eyes.

They where there, When Bianca join the hunters and nico cried about being alone for the first time.

When The nightmares of Bianca’s death was all he could dream of for weeks, while she was away on quests.

Connor and Travis where there taking turns Staying with Nico while he cried. Trying their Best to Comfort him that it’s would be okay. The hopefully it would be okay.

They try to cheer him up with jokes, or with stories about camp and their pranks, playing card games like poker (only cause they sucked at mythomagic)

They probably caught themselves thinking about him in between managing The Hermes cabin.

Especially after he ran from camp.

Knowing how painful it is to loose a sibling- and can only imagine if it had been the one closest too then.

Connor and Travis probably blamed themselves for not looking for him when he left- even if it’s cause they had responsibilities at camp.

They probably prayed to  Hermes to grant Nico safe travels at least once or twice, he was just a little kid, child of hades or not.

Even if they were a bit anxious seeing nico again after the wars, and seeing just how powerful that little kid they once knew turned out to be.

They’re also a bit sad that it probably took a lot scars for him to get there.

So when Nico decides to stay at camp-halfbloods

Connor and Travis see how other campers are still wary of nico / ‘freaked out’ by him- maybe even talk about him bad, they don’t let it slide especially since it was thats what caused nico to leave after the first war.

Sure it’s not up front at first , more like pranks of people who say anything particularly nasty.

Maybe even, causal defending “he’s just a kid like everyone else at camp” to Scolding some of their siblings for saying anything carelessly.

They make small effort to always so hi to Nico, especially at first. (they still feel a bit of guilt for not looking for him when he ran away)

They try to engage in conversation, even if it’s small like a message from the big house, (even if nico finds it awkward and doesn’t understand why the stolls do this)

Nico Through all of it was confused and tired to ignore them at first- But well that only works so well for so long. Not to mention the Stoll’s are presistent.

They also have taken nico aside (independentantly of eachother). And apologized for not running after him when he ran away. and that they hope Nico could still confide in them. like when he was younger

And he might’ve reluctantly taken them up on the offer once or twice.

(If anyone wants to know the details let me know)

When Nico starts to come to camp activities and The stoll brothers work up to Teasing Nico in The way only big brothers can.

it never goes to far, and It’s always met with Nico’s eye roll- or a groan, and when he gets more comfortable a invisible smile, or a comeback.

it takes a while, but nico starts to reluctantly see them as Older brothers.

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:

(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)

Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.

It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.

However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.

It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.

Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare

And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind

with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them

He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.

Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.

Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.

But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)

and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.

Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.

She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find

And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”

So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with

But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice

Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.

They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream

At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”

But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)

Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.

and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”

And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”

So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”

(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)

So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”

But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.

(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)

so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting

And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.

But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.

And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving

(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)

And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it

And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently

And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice

They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song

And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,

and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross

And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other

(And then they kiss)

[omegalomania]

I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

[jann-the-bean]

Doodles!

Alright so here are the doodles of the role play I did with @help-im-a-gay-fish

I tried to blur out the text and other things but I just didn’t like how it looked

So I ended up cutting it into different parts and decided to write the dialogue underneath each section

I also added numbers to which area I’d like you to read/ focus on because since they were doodles I didn’t care for the order but well I tried my best and I hope it makes sense!

Because tumblr is dumb I can only post 10 images at one time so I will reblog the full images shortly after this post <3

Ok so for the doodles to make sense I guess I should give a little insight.

So gayfish and I came up with a headcanon. It’s based off of Gayfish’s headcanon that Nightmare and Killer fought a lot and had breaks that could last months. At some point Killer got involved with someone who got super possessive and started to blackmail Killer into being with them even though Killer was in a happy relationship with Ccino and Nightmare. So he’s been trying to sneak around until finally he gets caught by nightmare.

I might have forgotten something but I will correct it when gayfish sees this as well so they can let me know

1.) Nightmare: Killer you’ve been acting strange recently... sneaking around... and how you are around your phone... Spill it something is up

*Killer’s slips his phone into his pocket but there’s a notification that Killer had received a new message*

2.) Killer: Nothing Nightlight... I swear...

*Nightmare notices that Killer obviously and suspiciously hid his phone*

3.) Nightmare: .....

4.) Nightmare: Show me your phone.

5.) Killer: No, it’s my phone you have your own

6.) Nightmare: Are... are you hiding something from us..?

*Killer’s phone buzzes*

7.) Killer: No, you need to stop being so worried. Don’t you trust me?

8.)Nightmare: Killer... you’re making it very difficult to trust you right now... all this... *realization hits*

9.) Nightmare: Oh stars please... killer... don’t tell me...

10.) Killer: Don’t tell you?

11.) Nightmare: I went poly for you... you said that’s what you needed...

Killer: Please listen to me... You have to trust me... Please Nightingale?

12.) Nightmare: Stop calling me that!!!

13.) Nightmare: You know what? I’m honestly not surprised. But I can’t believe you’d do this to Ccino! I finally warm up to him and you go and f*cking around? Seriously..!?

14.) Nightmare: .......

You know what? I might’ve believed you if you said Ccino messaged you.... but the thing is... you didn’t... you didn’t say that... So it’s not him.... is it..?

15.) Killer: ...... it..... it’s not.....

But Nightli- Nightmare it’s not what you think

16.) Nightmare: not what I think..?

Then what am I supposed to think Killer!? Because you’re not telling me a damn thing! What am I supposed to think?

17.) Nightmare: What am I.... what am I going to tell Ccino.. Killer..?

Was it worth it?

18.) Killer: Wait Nightmare please! Wait... listen it’s really not

I promise I don’t want to hurt you anymore

19.) Nightmare: .....

Then talk to me! What else am I supposed to think?

20.) Nightmare: You’ve been acting strange for days. Sneaking around, hiding your phone... Hell I’m sure Ccino’s noticed too!

Let me help you...

21.) Killer: ...... I..... I... I.... ...........

22.) Nightmare: Killer.... please.... I want to help...

23.) Killer: .......

*slips phone out*

..... y-you’ll hate me... you’ll be disappointed and disgusted

24.) Nightmare: You don’t know that... just give me a chance... please....

I’m sure it’s not that bad...

25.) Nightmare:......... *He is reading messages*

26.) *Nightmare’s sockets go dark*

27.) Nightmare: ....... *Hands phone back to Killer*

Killer: ......

28.) Killer *avoids eyes* Its someone I used to see when we were on long breaks...

But they got a bit possessive... and not in a cute way like you

29.) *Nightmare let’s out a breathe*

*Slap*

Nightmare: Thats for being an ass and making me worry...

30.) Nightmare: But Im glad I was wrong this time...

....

31.) Nightmare: I can see how they’re a problem

32.) Nightmare: I’m pretty sure what they’re doing is illegal...

It’s basically extortion. We need to get the cops involved.

33.) Killer: You aren’t going to leave me...?

Nightmare: No..... I’m not going to leave you....

But that doesn’t mean I’m not upset

34.) Killer: Night..... I love you....

35.) *Kiss*

36.) Killer: .....

Sorry I didn’t say it sooner...

Nightmare: Yeah.... you better be...

.....

Killer I....

37.) Nightmare: I love you too

38.) Killer: *presses their foreheads together* Heh..... That took a long time.....

Nightmare: Maybe a little too long....

39.) Killer: I wouldn’t have it any other way

That’s the end of the doodles! As I said in a previous post this would have been the first time they confused because I agree with @help-im-a-gay-fish idea that Killer and Nightmare were never good with love and even if they realized they did love each other they never outright said it until now

Studioverse by @zu-is-here

Killer by @rahofy-sketch

Nightmare by @jokublog

As I mentioned in the previous post hard to see the outfits but they are @yuriyuruandyuraart design! (I also know you wanted to see this yuri!)

[whosaskingwrites]

Glass Heart (Oikawa x Reader x Kageyama)

A/N: This was the only request that came in for the follower event which by the way I've extended so its still open. So thanks for requesting this it was fun to write! Full disclosure the Akaashi b-day one was supposed to be uploaded first but I haven't finished it yet so...Also I went a little feral on this cause its the first ever request on the blog 💞. I even added it a small thing from one of my favorite movie series. Also I don't know if this is exactly what you wanted but I did my best to fulfill the request. Some things are changed in it but this is the final product.

Details: 9.4 pages 3,305 words (she long)

WARNINGS: Mentions of blood, angst, heartbreak, there's a happy end for Mc tho, manga spoilers??? Kinda not really???

Date: December 7th, 2020

Theme: Glass Heart Syndrome- Similar to the Hanahaki disease, when a person goes through heart break it causes their heart to literally form into glass and break. It will result in the person never being able to love again or die through the agonizing process. The symptoms include dark cracks on the chest stemming from the heart that spread and grow darker the worse the heartbreak is, the victim becomes physically weaker, and they’ll cough up blood. (Taken directly from the request)

Sachi- means miracle. Thank you @msecchi for requesting 💞 hope you enjoy!

Nightmares.

That's what the doctor said to him. "You can't sleep because of the nightmares!" Thats what he was told by them. For ten years doctors told him its just nightmares. But he knew it wasn't nightmares no...He was being haunted by her. Dead and cold e/c eyes stared at him from the darkness as they dulled. A faint shattering sound accompanied it as he watched shards of glass fall.

His heart was cracked black lines trailed against his skin hidden under his shirt. It had cracked all those years ago when he thought she was gone. She had recovered though it was a miracle really that she had. After all he was there when her heart shattered.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa still looked at him with disgust. They supported him sure but they only supported him because they wanted him out of Japan. Iwaizumi didn't look at him the same either, there was always something hidden behind his gazes. He could take the anger from them though it was worth it to know she was still alive.

He loved her. He knew that, Iwaizumi knew it. For ten years he asked Iwaizumi how she was doing "she's fine," was the only response he got. Now he could see for himself if she was fine. The Olympics were here and he was currently on his way to Japan with his team. It'd been a long time since he'd been back. Almost nine years now but he wasn't worried. He curled into the plane seat shutting his eyes and trying to catch some nightmare free sleep...

___________________________________________

"Y/n-chan! You look really pretty today!" He threw an arm around the h/cette's shoulder pulling her roughly into his side. She stumbled a bit peering up at him through long eyelashes. "Can you let me go please Oikawa-san?" She asked shifting to pry his arm off. He held on though and gasped "Eh? Why Y/n-chan!" He shrieked and just like that his arm was thrown off her shoulder and Iwaizumi stood there.

"Dumbass she doesn't like people touching her!" He yelled flicking him in the forehead. He whined and rubbed at the spot "Iwa-chan you're supposed to be on my side!" Iwaizumi simply shook his head before turning towards Y/n. "So Y/n have you decided on a high school yet?" She merely hummed "I was thinking Shiratori-" "No you can't go there!" Oikawa cut off quickly throwing himself infront of her.

"...Can I finish my sentence?" She asked sending a pointed look towards him. "Please do," Iwaizumi supplied as he covered Oikawa's mouth. "Shiratorizawa but my cousin convinced me to go to Aoba Johsai instead," She finished sending a pointed look towards him. He pried Iwaizumi's hand off to speak "You're going to Aoba Johsai!?" She laughed then smiling at him and he felt his heart rate speed up in response.

It'd been a few months since then he was a third year now and her a sparkling brand new first year at Aoba Johsai. Since day one he'd been around her constantly. Walking her to her classes or sitting with her at lunch sometimes bringing her an extra piece of Milk Bread. Of course the team knew he liked her it stared them in the face everyday. He'd smile at his phone everytime she texted or his face would flush slightly when she complimented him. Not that she ever noticed but they knew she was falling to.

She no longer rejected physical touches from him she leaned into them instead. She always smiled at him whenever he appeared in her line of sight. She even started using his first name! Halfway through the school year everybody knew Oikawa Tooru and L/n Y/n were attached at the hip. Fangirls confessed all the time but he rejected them without fail thinking of the girl with s/c skin and e/c eyes. He wanted her confession but it never came to him. He got tired of the team making fun of him one day. They always picked on him so why should they be allowed to do it when it involves the girl he liked?

"Oh please! Like I even care about her! She's getting boring anyway i'll just move on to a new girl. One that's more exciting and not some bright-eyed first year," He had said crossing his arms and looking up indignantly. "Oikawa...You don't mean that," Iwaizumi said slowly looking at him. "Of course I do. She's boring now," He pushed refusing to crack under the pressure.

Of course how was he going to remember that all of this went down a minute before she was supposed to walk into the gym to watch him practice like everyday? He really should have remembered that if he had things might have gone differently. Practice had ended as usual though it had been quieter than he remembered. Something was missing and he knew it.

He shrugged it off as he left the locker room walking towards the front gates to wait for Iwaizumi with Y/n. "Hey Y/n-chan what'd you think of practice?" He waited a moment to see her rush around the corner in a flurry of excitement but it never happened. "Y/n-chan..?" Rounding the corner of the gate he saw the spot they normally waited in was empty no sign of the beautiful girl anywhere.

There was however a piece of paper trapped against the bars. It was a small thing easily loseable but the way it was crumpled and felt soft meant the paper he held was old and probably had been thrown away. He opened it slowly and glared at what he saw on it. 'Kageyama Tobio xxxx-xxx-xxxx' What were the odds he'd find his enemies number here of all places? Astronomically low he knew as he chucked the paper away.

Iwaizumi had come up then pushing him along while he struggled. "Iwa-chan! Y/n-chan isn't here yet!" Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "She went home. She was feeling sick today," He responded easily while Oikawa's nose crinkled. That was impossible he'd been with her all day except for in class. She was perfectly normal in every way today, he'd have know she was sick.

Maybe if he said something to Iwaizumi instead of keeping quiet he'd have seen her and fixed everything. Maybe if he had made them stop at the park like he did everyday instead of being consumed by his thoughts he might have seen a familiar h/c haired girl sitting with a boy that had blackish blue hair and vibrant blue eyes.

He might have seen the boy give her his jacket and a carton of milk when she started crying. Or how he awkwardly patted her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. But instead the duo walked on with him thinking about how to ask Y/n why she lied. Of course for the next two weeks he wouldn't receive a response since she avoided him at every turn.

Eventually though he cornered her right outside the gym after she dropped off Hanamaki's water bottle. He didn't question why she had it or the black and blue jacket she was wearing that was slightly too big for her. Instead he ran after her stopping her before she got to far. "Hey! Y/n-chan why are you avoiding me!?" He shouted towards her.

She and everyone else nearby stopped people whispered as they looked at them but he didn't care. He watched her turn and froze as dull e/c eyes met his own. "Just speeding things up. After all you said I was boring Oikawa-san,"

___________________________________________

He jolted awake sitting up rapidly as he tried to slow down his racing heart. "Hey you okay man?" He turned his head looking at his teammates who looked startled. "Yeah I'm fine...Just a bad dream," He smiled at them before looking out the window. Japan was spread out below them lights twinkling in the dark.

The smile fell from his face as they landed replaced with a sense of displacement and nostalgia. He gripped his bags tightly tomorrow he would be facing his biggest rivals on the court all to see who would win the gold. He didn't have time to think about what happened to the girl he used to know.

___________________________________________

"Wha- who said you were boring?" He asked stepping towards her. She took a step back in response "You did. Two weeks ago when I went to the gym. I heard you," His eyes widened dramatically as he looked at her "No- That's out of context!" He tried to save it but she just shook her head. 

"Don't lie Oikawa-san," Her eyes became more dull as she spoke. "Don't- dont call me Oikawa please. Dont do that please," he begged reaching out towards her. She coughed then putting a hand up to her mouth. As she did the sleeve of the jacket rolled down and he saw them. The thin black lines trailing across her skin and decorating her pale s/c arm.

"Y/n-chan...," he trailed off as his eyes focused on her arm and the thin trail of blood coming from her mouth. She smiled but it wasn't anything. Only a slight twitch upwards no warmth behind it. "Its okay Oikawa-san you helped me you know?" He paused as he looked at her "Helped you..?" She nodded slowly "Yeah! You helped me realize that love is worthless so thank you," He could only watch in horror as the black veins spread further and widened being accompanied by a cracking sound.

Like someone had thrown a ball threw a glass window she collapsed at the same time a shattering sound filled the air. A girl nearby screamed as Y/n fell while someone else yelled for emergency services. "Y/n!" He was shoved backwards as Hanamaki and Matsukawa ran past him.

"What happened!?" Matsukawa yelled as he lifted her head. He looked at him while blood dripped from her mouth. "I- I don't know. S-she said she heard me a-and-," Hanamaki whipped around at that "She heard you!?" He stood blood had left a red stain on his white track pants. 

"If she dies from this I will never forgive you," Hanamaki hissed. "Makki she's- she's not breathing!" Matsukawa screamed pressing a hand on her heart. Paramedics rushed into the area skittering around as the pushed Matsukawa and Hanamaki away. "What happened?" One of the medics asked. "Glass Heart Syndrome," Hanamaki answered back glaring at Oikawa as he spoke.

"We need to get her out of here right away! Lets go!" The medic had run back over towards Y/n helping to pick her up onto the gurney. They paramedics left quickly with her denying Hanamaki and Matsukawa's attempt to go with her. They raced into the gym grabbing their stuff before running back out. Hanamaki shoved Oikawa out of the way and down to the ground as they ran.

___________________________________________

He sighed as he jolted awake for the third time in a row. This was ridiculous she wasn't even dead so why couldn't he sleep without seeing dead e/c eyes? Guilt that's what Iwaizumi told him. He tilted his head to see the time five am was what the clock told him. He needed to meet the rest of the team at seven thirty so he changed and went running.

The streets he ran on seemed so familiar but so different to him. Of course he stopped at the nearby park it was similar to the one he used to stop at with Iwaizumi and Y/n. Those trips long since abandoned after what he did his eyes flittered over the park until they landed on a h/cette. His eyes widened as he looked at her so similar to the last time he saw her.

Slightly taller and figure slightly rounder perfect to him but it hurt to realize it was a pregnancy bump. The h/c hair on her head sparkled and her e/c eyes glittered with a warmth he hadn't seen in years. He began walking towards her almost starting to run until a voice stopped him. "Y/n!" He stopped immediately snapping his head to the side. Barreling towards her was a male with silver and black hair and golden eyes sparkling. He knew who that was...Bokuto Koutarou wing spiker for the MSBY Black Jackals and he was his opponent in the upcoming game.

He slunk closer and it was then that he noticed a little girl hugged to Bokutos chest. She couldn't have been older than five from what he could see but he noticed that running through the girls h/c hair were streaks of silver. He certainly didn't expect her to take the little girl from him and kiss his cheek. His shock was palpable when she reached a hand up to run through his hair. A thin sliver band with a small diamond on it glared back at him glittering in the sun.

Bokuto had lifted his own hand to run it through the small girl's hair the silver came through more prominently as well as exposing dark navy almost black streaks he hadnt seen before. The little girls head turned revealing a single e/c eyes. His eyes however zoned in on the gold band on Bokuto's finger. He was excitedly talking to her while she shook her head and started walking off. He watched Bokuto's eyes widen comically as the wing spiker ran off after her.

He stood frozen as he watched the scene anybody could see a cute family scene. That should have been him handing her their kid not Bokuto. But it wasn't him no it was someone else. So of course he called Iwaizumi to complain.

"Iwa! You didn't tell me Y/n was married to that- that wing spiker!?" He yelled into the phone while Iwaizumi scoffed. "One I shouldnt tell you anything about Y/n since you ruined that. And two thats not your business," He returned the statement with a scoff of his own. "Not my business? Shes married! You know what Iwa. I'll win her back," Iwaizumi laughed then it was laced with disbelief much like his voice was. 

"Sorry you are gonna try to win back a married woman who has a kid and another one on the way?" Iwaizumi was right that sounded wrong out loud but he couldn't back down. "Yes! I'm gonna win her back from that Bokuto guy!" Iwaizumi snorted "Sorry how'd you figure they were married?" Iwaizumi asked with a laugh "I saw the rings and her daughter has silver hair like him!" He stated indignantly.

Iwaizumi did bust out laughing then "Silver hair? Must have dyed it then," Iwaizumi mumbled quietly. "Iwa what are you going on about?" He asked not being able to hear the male on the other line clearly. "Oh nothing just suprised you don't pay more attention to your sworn enemies," He called uninterested. "I pay enough attention to know they're on the same team and will be playing against me," He hissed and Iwaizumi laughed. "I gotta go. See you later Oikawa," He hung up and Oikawa sighed as he put the phone away.

___________________________________________

"Oh are you all here for Ms. L/n?" The team turned eyes landing on a doctor with short brown hair and hazel eyes. He was clearly foreign but they didn't have any questions other than about her. Looking at them all he could see the fear in their faces and sighed. "Well its a miracle really that she lived. One of the worst cases of Glass Heart Syndrome I've seen in years," Oikawa froze as he felt the numerous glares on his back.

"Thank you doctor...?" Hanamaki walked forward looking at the man. "McCoy. Leonard McCoy," He said holding out a hand. "Thank you Doctor McCoy. Can we see her?" Hanamaki shook his hand while the doctor sighed. "Im afraid not. She still needs some time to recover we're going to try some beta blockers but until we try them I can't allow you guys in just incase," He said turning back around and leaving just like that.

The next week was spent waiting for the news. It came during practice one day for them "The beta blockers worked. She starts school again tomorrow at a new school," Matsukawa said as he walked back into the gym. The team cheered in excitement "Wait a new school? Shes transferring?" He asked stopping everyone while Hanamaki scoffed "she lived which was a fucking miracle and now you want her back here at the school that she almost died at with the person who almost killed her?" He flinched at the tone.

___________________________________________

The game had ended with Argentina's victory them winning the gold. He smirked at the wing spiker on the other side who only tilted his head in confusion silver hair following the movement. Iwaizumi smacked him as he approached "Stop looking at Bokuto like that," He said with a sigh. "I won against him and now I'll do it again," He was determined as he huffed. "Also Iwa how could you! Did you even know they got married!?" Iwaizumi scoffed in disbelief.

"Of course I knew she got married. I was a groomsmen along with Ushijima and Bokuto. Hinata was the best man," He processed the words "Sorry did you say Bokuto was a grooms-," before he could continue his questioning the patter of running feet interrupted him. "Daddy!" He snapped his head to the side seeing the little girl again only this time his jaw dropped.

The girl was pulled into a pair of arms which he followed to their owner. Kageyama's side profile glared back at him as he smiled down at the little girl. From this side he saw her other eye was a vibrant blue shade and sparkled in joy. "Hi angel what's going on here?" He lifted the girls hair in his finger and Oikawa saw the silver band around his ring finger while silver hair slipped through his fingers. "Uncle Kashi took me to the hair salon while he was watching me! I got my hair done to match Uncle Bo!" The little girl threw her arms up with a smile.

"Eh? Why not Uncle Tsumu kid?" Atsumu had asked joining the conversation. The girls nose crinkled "Uncle Bo is better than you!" Atsumu threw a hand over his heart and gasped mocking hurt. "Sachi Kageyama what did I tell you about running off?" Everyone turned seeing Y/n walking over with her arms crossed Akaashi stood next to her carrying her bag of stuff a ring of gold stood out prominently on his finger. "M'sorry mama," The girl now identified fully as Sachi frowned looking down with big eyes.

"Sachi. Just because Uncle Bo's sad face doesn't work on me doesn't mean yours will," She tapped her foot twice and Oikawa felt it the black veins trailing on his skin getting bigger and darker. He could hear the crack in his heart as Kageyama leaned over to kiss Y/n. The two of them fitted together perfectly while Bokuto bounded over to Akaashi and threw an arm around his shoulders. "Alright we get it. You two and your miracle are cute!" Hinata claimed as he shoved the two apart.

Y/n laughed as she looked up her eyes flittered over the other team stopping on Oikawa for a moment. He froze under her gaze. The warmth in her eyes faded replaced by the same empty and dead eyes he'd grown used to. The group had headed towards the exit as he felt the cracks happen rapidly. The last thing he could remember was the loud sound of something glass shattering before he collapsed to the ground.

[kats-kradle]

Hi hello yes I actually found your blog while I was looking for Ronon Dex whump, something there is not nearly enough of, and I just wanted to say that should you ever want to share your thoughts about him, whump-related or otherwise, I'm around to hear them,,, I care him very much (which is why I like to see him hurt... funny how that works).

OHOHOHOHOHO DID SOMEONE SAY THE MAGIC WORDS “RONON WHUMP”????? And yes there is not NEARLY enough Ronon whump!!! Buckle up I don’t think you know what you’ve unleashed by offering to let me talk about this XD i have 43 (i counted thats not an exaggeration) unfinished fics where i whump this man so i have A Lot of Thoughts on this so i’ll try to keep my headcanons and general thoughts from getting mixed up so here we go (also I haven’t actually seen past season 3ish but I know like everything)

Just general thoughts

I just love the team dynamic in general the actors had great chemistry with each other

They don’t whump Ronon enough and that is A Crime.    

But when they do whump him OH BOY ITS GOOD

Just off the top of my head I can think of     the episode where John and Elizabeth were possessed by those people who     wanted to kill each other and ronon got SHOT that was dope especially when     it showed the surgery but I was so mad there was no aftercare

Also just the fact that after Ronon was shot the guy possessing John said (about John) something like “if only you could hear him right now he is screaming so loud” or something to that effect and I’m not really a John whumper but oh boy the thought of John fighting as hard as he could to try and get control back because he wants to help Ronon rlly adds to the experience

After atlantis flies and John is going around checking the damage and he finds Ronon with the shard of glass in his shoulder juts the way he kneels down next to him is so soft and his voice goes soft too its great

I haven’t gotten there yet but ohoho the enzyme episode where Ronon gets drugged and then has to go through withdrawal ohooho I may have watched that scene a few hundred times

I just love also how fiercely loyal Ronon is and how much he trusts them

That ep where those villagers were going to give them to the wraith and Ronon literally would rather die than let his friends be taken to the wraith I love how John and Teyla go through like  45 heart attacks that’s one of the ones I haven’t gotten to yet but ive  seen gifs and oh boy oh boy does it look good

The way I generally describe Ronon is he’s     like a bug fluffy dog. Like he’s kind of silly sometimes and he’s very     loyal and will kill without hesitation if it means keeping his friends     safe

Also just that whole scene when Ronon arrives     when John is asking Elizabeth if he can stay is just like a kid asking his     mom if he can keep a dog he found

And Ronon has such a sweet smile also I love it when hes happy (but also I love it when hes in pain)

Stargate Atlantis was very well directed because for most definitions of “good acting” you can see “oh this character is sad. Now they are happy” which I do understand that many people prefer  this because they have difficulty interpreting facial expressions but I absolutely adore how subtly expressive the actors are because to me it’s fascinating to decode what the character is feeling. They act like real people and talk in the way real people would and it seems super natural and not scripted, and you can just tell in their interactions that the characters care for each other a lot and its beautiful

Now that I’ve said something vaguely scholarly-like its time to move on to the mess of headcanons

Headcanons

So when rewatching season 2 with my sister I realized the amazing potential for angst involving Kell (his old commander who he killed) so in my mind even though he’s very loyal to John at first it was more of a “you saved my life now I’ll watch your back because I owe you” and he had difficulty trusting any of them but especially John this changes over time ofc but he can’t help being wary of command 

I also hc that Kell  would punish the soldiers in his division for being “unfit” for battle so like if they broke a leg or something they would be punished  (this is mostly just for my guilty pleasure of ANGST) so that way they     would “be more aware” of their surroundings and whatnot 

Also disobey direct  orders was a big no no and you know how laid back John usually is with  orders so the first time Teyla disobeyed a direct order after Ronon joined the team John was grumbling about it in a way Teyla knew wasn’t serious but Ronon just kind of panicked and started lying his ass off and saying he threatened her into doing it and he should take the punishment which led to an awkward conversation (awkward for Ronon, it left his teammates ready for some murdering)

He hides injuries  because he was alone for so long and never had anyone to take care of him so he just forgets that he has to mention it and in his mind some injuries might not be that bad 

Beckett is constantly  chasing him around after missions desperately trying to get him to hold  still for long enough to do a check

Ronon hates pain medicine because it tends to dull his senses so in his mind all the more  reason to avoid Beckett

He is really good friends with Beckett but just not when he’s hurt

Usually he wanders into the medbay after bad nightmares if Beckett is on night shift and will just sit there

One time he hesitantly asked if Beckett could check to make sure that the tracker was actually gone for good

Ronon was expecting to get laughed at but Beckett took the request with the upmost seriousness and ran all the tests he could think of to calm Ronon’s fear

One time Ronon stumbled into the medbay and he obviously hadn’t slept in a while and was flinching at every noise so Beckett made up an excuse to “take some blood to test and see if it would be compatible with vaccines for the common sicknesses  humans get” and just like. Sedated him. Ronon felt betrayed at first but quickly realized that Beckett only did it because he cared about him and wasworried. He did try to get more sleep after that tho

Oh and you can bet Beckett goes off at him if he ever ends up in the medbay which he does to everyone but  especially Ronon because usually he’s either dragged there or he’ll come  in like “yeah so three days ago for the last mission I got hit in the side and now I’m coughing up blood so…” and then will just like pass out

While he was a runner he trained himself to be a light sleeper so adjusting to Atlantis was difficult because the ocean would wake him up every night at first

Also thunderstorms are The Worst to him because 1. It gives him PTSD for when he was a soldier and the wraith were attacking and 2. When he was a runner thunderstorms were almost a death sentence because the wraith could track him but he couldn’t hide he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see so yeah thunderstorms are real bad for him

He has a constant fear of leading the Wraith to his new home and his new family oh also I decided that he doesn’t know if his mother died or not so every place they go he’s hopeful he’ll see her

This is a hc I had before I knew it was basically canon but he and the team hang out in the cafeteria a lot especially after nightmares they just all gravitate there

Also I haven’t gotten here yet so I’m just going off of what I know but he kind of tried to leave after Beckett died because he managed to find a way to blame himself also one of my hcs is that Beckett would tell him  about Scotland all the time and had decided that if they ever got the opportunity to go to Earth then Ronon was coming to Scotland with him sooo     ehehhe the angst of Ronon going to earth for Beckett’s funeral and going     to Scotland with Beckett but not in the way either of them wanted

On to softer hcs just cuz

He loves hugs. 7 years of being alone would  make anyone want a hug.

Children gravitate to him for some reason. Logically it doesn’t make sense because he’s so big and a bit intimidating but children just adore him

He carries extra snacks for Rodney

He can’t swim. Somehow he went his entire life without knowing how to swim which Rodney is astounded by and goes on about it for a minute or so

John took it upon himself to give him swimming lessons. John was a terrible teacher but Ronon managed to get the idea

He loves cocoa, specifically loaded with marshmallows. Teyla jokes he likes the marshmallows more than the cocoa

Wow this has gone on so much longer than I thought it would

So that’s it! you unleashed the beast. I now demand to hear your thoughts on ronon because boy oh boy hes a great whumpee and im not sure ive met many if anyone who likes to whumpe him so im super excited!!

[themetaphorgirl]

I asked for cute and cuddly things so I could write something adorable!! I tried to combine as many as possible!

@therestisconfettis​ : “the psolc babies making a pillow fort!!”

@birds-are-better-than-you​ : “My brain immediately goes to people actually listening to him talk instead of cutting him off, but thats just rooted in sadness”

@fragolinaa​ : “I just want people cuddling him, maybe someone who hasn't yet like Emily or Dave?”

@purpleturtle31extra : “Spending an off day exploring music together! Like showing him songs that remind you of him or a certain memory..”

anonymous: “cute cuddly idea: u mentioned Emily and Dave getting Spencer legos. Write a little thing of a rainy day or whatever and everyone’s just chilling building random shit with legos and then there’s gonna be Spencer actually building something with proper ratios and actual potential urban planning and everyone else is just like “hmm... I have built something vaguely resembling a plane”

anonymous: “omg cuddly mom alex?? maybe spencer napping with her and he has a nightmare??”

I hope I touched on everything!! I think I captured at least a little bit of everything!!!

----------

“Hey,” Emily said. “Are you feeling okay?”

Spencer dragged his fork around his plate, his chin resting heavily in his hand. “I’m not hungry,” he said dully.

“This is your last day to eat whatever you want,” she pointed out. “Go get something sugary. Donuts or something.”

He shrugged, and she bit back a sigh. Everyone else had left on Wednesday afternoon to spend Thanksgiving break with their respective families- literally everyone, even Hotch- and while they’d had a nice Thanksgiving at James’s house, and she was enjoying having her room all to herself, she and Spencer had been left behind, and the kid was moping like it was his job. She was starting to figure out that while he liked doing things on his own, he needed the security of knowing that everyone else was nearby.

“I guess I’ll go get some chocolate milk or something,” Spencer sighed, sliding down from his chair. 

“See? There you go,” she said. “Treat yourself.”

As soon as he slid down from his chair and trudged away she pulled out her phone.

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:09am

You guys need to help w the kid hes so sad i dont know what to do

James texted back first, which didn’t surprise her.

doctor james, medicine man

9:10am

Is he okay? 

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:10am

HES SAD I CANT HANDLE IT COME HELP ME

spaghetti grandpa

9:11am

He’ll be fine. He knows everybodys coming back today right?

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:12am

HE IS SAD NOW COME OVER

She set her phone aside as Spencer walked back up to the table with a carton of chocolate milk in his hands. “Can you open this for me, please?” he asked. 

She did and handed it back, but he didn’t drink it. “How about we go watch a movie or something?” she suggested. “While we’re waiting for everybody to get back on campus. That’ll be fun, right?”

He shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “What time is it?”

“A little after nine.”

He scrunched up his face, calculating. “Who do you think will be back first?” he asked.

“I don’t know, babe, we’ll have to see,” she said. “Drink your milk and we’ll get out of here.”

He sighed. “I don’t think I want it anymore,” he said. She shot him her best impression of Alex’s mom look. He rolled his eyes, but he drank it anyway.

Outside the dining hall it was cold and gray and dreary, rain falling just steadily enough to be irritating. She pulled the hood of her jacket over her head and made Spencer put his purple galaxy-print raincoat on over his his sweater before they walked down the steps. 

“Do you think the weather will ground planes?” he asked anxiously. 

“Your guess is as good as mine, squirt,” she said. “It’ll definitely rain all day, but I don’t know if it’ll affect planes. You’ll probably know better than me.”

He said nothing, but he slipped his small hand into hers. She squeezed back gently. The kid had been perfectly well-behaved the whole time she’d been left to watch him, but it was frustrating to see him so sad and quiet and droopy. She didn’t think it was possible to be homesick for other people, but Spencer definitely had a bad case of it.

They settled in the common room, but the cozy space seemed cavernous and empty without the rest of the group. Spencer left his coat and his shoes in his room and settled into Alex’s usual spot on the couch, leaning on the armrest. 

“So what do you want to do, kiddo?” she said. He raised and lowered one shoulder. She huffed. “I’ll just pick something then.”

“Nothing scary, please,” he said, his chin resting on his folded arms.

“No, don’t worry, I learned my lesson,” she said. She grabbed a Star Wars off the shelf- she wasn’t sure which one it was, but she figured she couldn’t go wrong with something sci fi.

“Hotch’s plane lands at eleven, right?” he said as she plunked down on the opposite end of the couch.

“I think so,” she said. She reached over and ruffled his hair lightly. “Stop overthinking, you’re going to blow a fuse in there. Everyone will be home soon, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried,” he mumbled.

They got about halfway through Star Wars (she still wasn’t entirely sure which one it was) when they heard Dave and James on the stairs. “Hey, guys!” Dave called. “We’ve got presents!”

Emily paused the movie. “What do you mean, presents?” she said. “What’d you bring me?”

James and Dave each held large plastic tubs that they dropped with heavy clatters on the floor. “Spencer, you’ve been having fun with the legos we got you for your birthday, right?” James said.

Spencer raised his head. “Yeah,” he said slowly.

“Well, we decided to dig around for our old lego collections you can have your own giant collection,” Dave said. 

He slid off the couch. “Really?” he said.

“Yeah, absolutely,” James said. “Go get yours, we’ll put them all together.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up. “Okay!” he said, darting off to his room.

“Oh my god, thank goodness you two are here,” Emily said. 

“You know, you said he was sad, and I didn’t believe it till I saw him,” Dave said, wrenching the lid off the first bin. “He looks like a deflated balloon.”

“See? I wasn’t lying,” Emily said. “Poor kid has been moping all week.”

James checked his phone. “Hopefully everybody will get in without any problems,” he said. “Alex texted me a little bit ago and said they delayed her flight by an hour.” 

“Oh, yikes,” Emily said. “She’d better get back here soon. And don’t tell the kid that, he’ll worry more.”

Spencer ran back into the room with his legos. “How should I organize them?” he asked. “Color first or size first?”

“How about we, you know, build something?” Dave suggested as he sat down on the couch. “C’mere, passerotto, I think I have all the pieces to the batcave.”

“Ooh, which version?” James asked as Spencer sat down on the floor in front of Dave.

“I don’t know. I think I built it once when I was Spencer’s age and then never touched it again.”

Emily leaned over James and scooped up a handful of plastic pieces. “What are you going to build?” she asked.

“Hey, don’t copy me!”

They worked on their projects mostly in companionable silence, sometimes absent chatter. Rain continued to tap at the windows. At least Spencer seemed distracted at last, focused on his projects.

Lightning cracked, white light shining through the window for a brief moment, and everyone jumped; Spencer knocked over one of his structures. “Holy shit,” Emily said. “That was terrifying.”

“You okay?” Dave asked, touching Spencer’s arm lightly.

He nodded, leaning against Dave until he lifted him onto his lap. “Do you think everybody’s okay?” he asked. “Planes can’t always fly in this sort of weather.”

“I’m sure everybody’s fine,” Dave reassured him. Spencer bit his lip, still staring out the window. “So what have you been building?”

“Scale model of campus,” he said. “Well, it’s not exactly to scale. But it’s pretty close.”

James held up a lump of legos. “This was supposed to be a plane,” he said. “But it doesn’t look particularly aerodynamic.”

Spencer laughed. “What kind of plane is it supposed to be?” he asked. “It looks like an off-kilter Cessna.”

“I don’t know. Just...a plane,” James said. 

“I’m trying to see how tall I can build this thing without it falling over,” Emily said. “Not much success yet.”

“I’m sure you know, caro,” Dave said, poking Spencer lightly in the side. “How tall is the tallest lego structure ever?”

“The tallest one is in Milan, it’s a hundred and fourteen feet, eleven inches tall,” he said. “The previous tallest was just a hundred and fourteen feet tall, in Budapest.”

“Milan, hm?” Dave said. “Maybe I’ll go see it next time I’m over there.”

“There’s one in Tel Aviv that was built to be four feet taller but-”

Lightning cracked again and Spencer jumped. Dave rubbed his back lightly. “It’s okay, it’s just a bad storm,” he said. It was too late, though- the attempts at distraction had failed, and Spencer was clearly back to worrying, the corners of his mouth tugging down.

Dave looked over at Emily. What should we do? he mouthed. She shrugged helplessly.

Thankfully, right at that moment heavy footsteps echoed on the stairs. Spencer raised his head. Please let it be one of our group, please let it be one of our group, Emily thought fervently.

A tall figure in a rain-soaked coat made it to the top of the stairs, almost terrifying for a split second, but he threw back his hood and shook his head. “Jesus, that was a nightmare,” he said. 

Spencer scrambled to his feet and ran towards him, nearly kicking Dave in his haste. “Hotch!” he shrieked, throwing his arms around his waist.

“Hey, kiddo!” Hotch said, bending to hug him. “Hey, careful, it’s raining really hard out there, I’m drenched and I don’t want you to get wet.” 

“How was your flight?” James asked.

Spencer, undeterred, still clung to Hotch; Hotch ran his fingers through his thick short curls. “Unbelievably shitty,” he said. “Flights were getting canceled left and right, it’s just storming bad everywhere. If I hadn’t gotten such an early flight, I might not’ve made it back.”

“That’s what we’ve been worrying about,” Emily said. “And when I say we I mean Spencer.”

Hotch tugged him back so he could see his face. “Hey, stop worrying,” he said. “Everybody will get back eventually. I promise.” 

“I can’t help worrying,” Spencer said. “What if everybody’s flights get delayed? What if something happens to their planes. What if-”

Hotch scooped him up. “Hey, I think the dining hall’s open for lunch,” he said. “Anybody else hungry? I didn’t have time for breakfast before my flight and all they gave me was one packet of pretzels.”

“They stopped giving away peanuts because of allergies becoming more common,” Spencer said, leaning his cheek against Hotch’s shoulder even though his coat was soaked with rain.

“Yeah?” Hotch said. “How about you go get your coat and your shoes, okay? I’m starving.”

“Okay,” Spencer said reluctantly. Hotch set him back down on his feet and he ran down the hall to his room.

“I am so glad you’re back, Hotchner,” Emily said, sweeping her lego tower back into the bin. “He’s been so sad with everybody gone.”

“I can tell,” he said. “Has he been like this the whole time?”

“Oh, yeah,” Emily said. “I’ve barely been able to get two words out of him.”

“Even when they came over for Thanksgiving he wasn’t talking much,” James added.

Hotch sighed. “I didn’t even think about this,” he said. “Poor kid.”

Emily’s phone buzzed. “Oh, it’s Penelope,” she said. “I’ll put her on speaker. Hey, Pen, how’s it going?”

“Terrible!” Penelope said, her voice crackling over the line. “I made the flight from California to Texas for my layover, but they canceled my connecting flight. It’s storming too bad.”

“Oh, yikes,” Dave said. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she sighed. “They have me booked for a flight first thing in the morning, and the airline is putting me up in a hotel for the night, but it’s so frustrating.”

“I’m sure,” James said. “Stay safe, okay? Do you need anything?”

“Are you kidding? The hotel has like a million channels and room service, I’m doing great!” Penelope said. “I’ll call you guys in the morning before my flight, okay? Talk to you soon!”

Emily sighed as the call ended. “Well, that’s one down,” she said.

“Penelope’s not coming?”

Spencer peeked out of the hall, his rainboots on and his coat dragging from his hand. “Yeah, her connecting flight got canceled,” Dave said. “But she’s safe, and she’ll be on a flight tomorrow, okay? So don’t worry.”

Judging by the way he pressed his mouth together, he definitely was worried. Emily pushed herself up from the floor. “Let’s go get lunch, okay?” she said. “Before Hotch starves.”

The rain had gotten decidedly worse, coming down in heavy sheets and flooding patches of the courtyard. Her umbrella helped a little but not much; Dave complained loudly the entire walk over. Spencer stayed glued to Hotch’s side, clinging tightly to his hand even once they made it to the warm safety of the dining hall. 

Hotch pulled Spencer’s hood down as they got in line. “What do you want?” he asked. 

“I’m not hungry,” he said.

He frowned, then covered Spencer’s ears. “Emily, be honest,” he said. “Did he eat while we were gone?”

“Not for lack of trying,” she said. “I kept putting shit on his plate and he barely touched it.”

“Did he just eat ice cream and candy?”

“He didn’t even want sweets. Or coffee, even.”

Hotch’s frown deepened. “Well, shit,” he said. He dropped his hands to Spencer’s shoulders. “Okay, kid, you have to eat something. If you don’t pick, I’ll pick for you.”

Spencer shrugged. “That’s fine,” he said. 

Hotch met Emily’s gaze, eyebrows raised. “I told you,” she said. 

She followed Hotch down the cafeteria line as he filled up two plates. Spencer stayed so close he ran the risk of getting stepped on, his small hand clinging to the hem of Hotch’s jacket.

Dave and James had beaten them to their usual table, and neither of them looked particularly happy. “Bad news,” James said. “JJ just called. Her parents rescheduled her flight. They were worried about the storms, so she’ll be here tomorrow afternoon.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. “But she’s okay?” he said anxiously.

“She’s fine, caro,” Dave said. “And she’ll be here tomorrow.”

“What about Derek and Alex?” he asked. “Have they called? Or texted.”

“Not yet,” James said. “Maybe they’re already on their flights, though. I”m sure we’ll hear from them soon.”

Hotch set the tray down on the table, then picked Spencer up and set him down in his chair. “They’ll be fine,” he said. “So how did Thanksgiving go for you guys?”

Even with their attempts at changing the subject and trying to draw him into the conversation, Spencer seemed to sink further into himself, his legs tucked up under him and his chin resting in his hand, his plate still mostly untouched. Emily couldn’t blame him for being sad. All week it had been just the two of them in the nearly-deserted dining hall, and even with the boys there it seemed wrong without the rest of the group- Penelope shrieking about something that didn’t need to be shrieked about, Derek regaling them with stories from football practice, JJ’s pretty laugh bubbling over, Alex keeping the peace and stopping cups and plates from getting knocked over and tilted onto the ground.

Hotch didn’t make much headway getting Spencer to eat, but at least he ate a little bit, and their little group braved the storm to get back to Lincoln House. “What have you guys been up to?” he asked as they settled in the common room again, coats and umbrellas hung up to dry.

“Legos,” James said. “This was supposed to be a plane.”

Hotch laughed. “Yikes,” he said. “I’m glad you’re not planning on going into engineering.”

“Yeah, probably for the best,” he said ruefully. “I-”

“Hold on, hold on,” Dave interrupted. “Did you guys see the group chat?”

Emily fumbled for her phone. “No, I didn’t, I...oh.”

“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked.

“Derek’s flight got canceled too,” James said. “He says it got delayed and he sat on the tarmac for three hours, but they pulled everybody off the plane. His mom’s already picked him up, so he’s fine.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. He curled himself up smaller, his knees tucked up to his chest, chewing on his thumbnail. “But he’ll be here tomorrow?” he said. 

“Yeah, he’ll be here tomorrow,” Dave reassured him.

Spencer lifted his head. “Can we call Alex?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah, of course,” Emily said, immediately pulling Alex’s contact info on the screen. “Here, kiddo. Just press-”

Lightning cracked, and with a sharp pop the common room went dark.

“Holy shit!” Emily shrieked, the phone falling from her hand.

“Did a fuse blow?” Dave said.

James got up and looked out the window. “Well, judging by the other buildings on campus...I think the power’s out everywhere,” he said.

“Well, fuck,” Hotch said.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Watch your language!” she said in mock horror.

“Oh, shut up,” Hotch said good-naturedly. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait for the power to come back on. Spencer, do you want to go ahead and call Alex? She’ll probably be glad to miss the power outage.”

“I think the tower’s down too,” Spencer said in a small voice. “There’s no signal.” He held the phone back out to Emily. “Thanks anyway.”

She reached for the phone, and as the lock screen flickered she caught the faint mark of tears on his cheek. “Oh, no,” she said. “Oh, fuck. Spencer, don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” he said, but there was a distinct wobble in his voice.

“Spencer, it’s going to be okay,” Hotch said. “The power’s going to come back on, and everyone will be home soon.”

It was too dark to see, but she could hear Spencer sniffling in a valiant effort to keep form crying. “I know,” he said. “But I-”

Hotch picked Spencer up and placed him in Emily’s lap. “Stay here with Em for a second,” he said. “James, Dave, come with me.”

Spencer dropped his head against Emily’s collarbone as she wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “It’s been a rough week, dude. You didn’t get to go home and see your family, and you miss everybody. And you’re worried because of the storms. It makes sense.” She kissed the top of his head. “And now we’ve got all this power outage shit. But it’ll be okay.”

Hotch dumped an armload of stuff onto the nearest armchair. “Thank goodness for Penelope’s illegal candle stash,” he said. 

Emily twined one of Spencer’s short curls around her finger. “What’s with all of the pillows and blankets?” she asked.

In the dim light she could see Hotch grin. “We’re going to make a blanket fort,” he said. “C’mere, Spencer, I could use your brain for this.”

Emily set Spencer on his feet as James and Dave brought in their collections of pillows and blankets. She busied herself lighting candles and placing them in safe places around the room as Spencer directed the older boys in their construction. He seemed to perk up a little bit with something to focus on, especially as they let him be in charge.

“Okay, I’ve made some blanket forts in my day, but this one is pretty cool,” James said. 

“That’s because Penelope has about eight million blankets and they’re all soft as baby puppies,” Emily said as she crawled into the fort. “I claim the blue pillow!”

All five of them fit comfortably inside, the interior lit with a string of battery operated fairy lights, also taken from Penelope’s room. Spencer nestled himself between Hotch and Emily. “Are we going to tell Penelope that we borrowed all of her stuff?” he asked. 

Hotch handed him his favorite blanket. “I think if we leave the fort up till she gets back, she won’t mind as long as she gets to hang out in here,” he said. 

“What should we do?” Dave asked. “Power’s still out, and there’s no wifi either.”

“Oh!” Emily said. “Okay, I’ve been trying to get you to listen to this album for weeks. Now is the perfect time! You’re a captive audience.”

They took turns passing each other’s phones back and forth, listening to different songs in the comfort of the handmade blanket fort, playfully arguing over each other’s tastes in music as the warm glow of the fairy lights cast soft shadows. Spencer seemed a little less tense now, snuggled safely between Hotch and Emily with his blanket hugged to his chest.

She hadn’t kept track of time, but it was at least two hours before the power switched back on, the overhead lights suddenly way too bright after the dimmness of the tent. “There we go,” Dave said, sitting up and checking his phone. “And we’ve got signal again!” He stretched his arm over James and Emily to hold out the phone to Spencer. “Here, passerotto, see if you can call Alex.”

He took it eagerly and tapped at the screen to bring up her info, but his excitement faded almost instantly. “It went right to voicemail,” he said. “Thanks anyway.”

James scrambled ungracefully to his feet. “Hey, since the power’s back, who wants to watch a movie?” he said. 

“Not a Star War, please,” Emily called. “I can’t tell any of them apart.”

Hotch propped himself up on his elbow. “Hey, Spence,” he said. “It’s okay. I’m sure Alex is fine.”

“Yeah,” Spencer said. He turned to Hotch, one corner of his mouth tugging up in a rueful little half smile. “I bet her flight got canceled too. It’s okay.”

James flipped the overhead lights off, leaving them back in the glow of the candles and the string lights, and crawled back into the fort with the remote in his hand. “All right, if anyone has objections, y’all can get up yourself and change it,” he said.

Emily settled back as the movie started. Spencer was quiet beside her, but after a while he rolled over onto his stomach, his forehead pressed against Hotch’s arm and his blanket tangled around his legs, and she smiled when she heard his first little snore.

“Hotchner,” she whispered. “This blanket fort idea was genius.”

Hotch grinned. “Sean made me make one for him while I was home,” he said. “I figured Spencer might like it too.” He paused. “Is he asleep?” Emily nodded. “Thank god.”

James sat up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Guys, I still haven’t heard from Alex,” he said. “It’s still going right to voicemail when I call her and she hasn’t answered any texts.”

“Maybe her signal’s out too,” Dave said. “Don’t worry about it. Alex can take care of herself.”

James pouted. “Yeah, but...I might be a little worried about her,” he said. “It’s not like her to not answer.”

“Awww, you miss your girlfriend,” Emily teased. 

“I do! I do miss her!” James said. 

“Guys, if any of you wake up Spencer, I will murder you,” Hotch hissed. 

“I’m sorry!” James whispered back. “I just- I think I need to be worried about Alex.”

Suddenly a familiar person knelt down and leaned into the tent. “You’re worried about me?” Alex said, her long red hair hanging loose around her shoulders. “That’s so sweet!”

James scrambled up, smacking Dave in the face in his haste. “Oh my god, I missed you!” he said. He tugged her closer, cupping her face in his hands, and kissed her deeply. “Oh my god. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she laughed, running her fingers through his hair. “My phone died and I didn’t pack any of my portable chargers in my carryon. Where’s everybody else?”

“Everybody’s flights are delayed,” Emily said. “Spencer’s been beside himself.”

“Oh, poor thing,” she said. “Is he sleeping? I don’t want to wake him up.”

“Yeah, he just dozed off,” Hotch said. “He’s going to be so relieved to see you.”

Emily scooted over to make room. “C’mere, the movie hasn’t been on for very long,” she said. 

“Hey!” James protested. “She’s my girlfriend, shouldn’t she be next to me?”

“Well, she’s my roommate, and I’ve had her for longer,” Emily said. Alex laughed as she settled between her and Spencer, busying herself with snuggling him against her side and tucking him in. Emily leaned over to whisper in James’s ear. “Besides, we all know you two are gonna go fool around the second you get a chance. You’ll get your quality time, don’t worry.”

Even in the dim light she could see him turn red. “What are you guys whispering about?” Alex asked. 

“Nothing!” James squeaked. Emily made a rude hand gesture and he smacked her arm. “Emily! Stop it!”

She snickered as she leaned her head against Alex’s shoulder. “How was your week being in charge?” Alex asked as she adjusted Spencer’s blanket around him.

“Could have been worse...could have been a lot better,” Emily said. “He was so sad. I’m not good with sad kids.”

“I’m sure you did great,” Alex reassured her.

The movie was almost over when Spencer began to shift and whimper in his sleep. “Is he okay?” Emily asked.

“He’s-” Hotch winced as Spencer kicked him in the shins. “Ow. Bad dream, I think.”

Alex sat up. “Okay, I’m going to wake him up,” she said. 

“Careful, he can be pretty feisty,” Hotch warned.

Alex stroked his hair back from his forehead as he tried to pull away from her. “Spencer, wake up,” she called gently, her hand resting on his chest. “Come on, darling.”

She kept coaxing him until his eyes finally opened. “What’s going on?” he mumbled.

“You had a bad dream,” she said. 

He blinked. “Alex?” he said sleepily. “Did your plane land safely?”

Hotch laughed. “Yeah, kiddo, her plane landed safely,” he said. “Get the sleep out of your eyes.”

Spencer rubbed his face and blinked again. “Alex!” he yelped, throwing himself into her arms. 

“Hi, baby,” she said. “Did you miss me?”

“A little bit,” he said, tilting his face so she could kiss his cheek. “Was your flight okay? Was there a lot of turbulence?”

“Everything was fine,” she reassured him as she cuddled him against her side. “Now, sh, I think Dave is getting invested in the movie.”

“No, I’m not,” he said absently.

“Yes, he is,” Emily teased.

Spencer settled down with his head on Alex’s knees; Hotch tugged his blanket around him. “Everybody else will be here tomorrow,” he said. “Penelope’s connecting flight got canceled, and Derek’s got canceled, and JJ’s parents rescheduled her.”

“That’s good,” she said, stroking her fingers through his hair. “Go back to sleep, darling. You look so tired. And everything’s going to be okay, nothing to worry about.”

The rain had settled back into a light tapping on the window; the thunder and lightning had long since stopped. Emily leaned back against her pillows, smiling in contented relief. Alex was right. Everything was going to be okay.

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Mr. I want suck your blood - Pt 4

Warning: Mentions of violence and Swearing 

Word count: 2,451 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In stories, Soulmates were meant to be the real deal. They were forever. They were two individuals who were brought together by the universe so their lives finally made perfect sense. 

You'd never heard of Soulmates ‘Taking a break’ or ‘Splitting up,’ it wasn't something that happened. That’s not what happened in the stories. 

Thats just the thing though. Life isn't a story. Life’s a bitch.

Y/N POV

It had been 1 Hour 19 minutes and 45 seconds since Carlisle shattered your world. 1 Hour, 22 minutes and 23 seconds since you had ripped out your IV line and stormed out of the Cullen house. 1 Hour, 28 minutes and 15 seconds, since Carlisle Cullen, your SOULMATE, decided to call it quits.

Carlisle’s words were still ringing in your ears. “It’s safer this way.” or “Now you can live a normal human life.” You felt numb. 

-1 Hour, 19 minutes and 45 seconds ago- 

You looked up as you saw Carlisle standing in the wooden door frame. You smiled and placed a hand on your fast beating heart relieved to see him unscathed. Bella had swiftly exited the room. It was just the two of you now. You could tell straight away that something was wrong. Your heart started racing again. 

You sat there and listened, as Carlisle took your hand and proceeded to shatter your world. He’d decided that being together, it was too dangerous. He couldn't put you in danger again, couldn’t watch you bleed in his arms again. You both argued. It was his over protective nature, that was the cause of this.

“What about Bella and Edward? She’s still human?!” Apparently it was an invalid argument. Invalid my ass. He wouldn't budge. He thought some time apart would be for the best, even if saying it did secretly pain him. 

You were angry, so angry that you ripped out your own IV, not without gagging of course. The screaming and arguing drew the attention of the rest of the Cullen household. Bella was trying to calm you down and stop your arm from bleeding, while Edward and Esme were talking to Carlisle. 

You didn't care anymore. How dare he. How could he do this to you? You didn't ask for this life. You'd been dragged into it head first. You'd accepted him for all he was. Before all of this you WERE a normal teenager, with normal teenage problems! 

You didn't want normal anymore. You wanted Carlisle, the Volturi, wolves and blood singers. You wanted it all, but just like that, he took it away. 

You hadn't wasted any time running through the house, past Alice, Rose and Jasper and to your car. You say run, more like fast walked, your legs were still jelly from lying in bed the last couple of days. Alice had tried to stop you on the way out but Jasper told her to let you go, he could feel the pain and anger radiating of you in waves. 

The first thing you did when you got to your car was check your glove box for cigarettes. You got in and slammed the door, you could see Carlisle fighting to try and get passed Edward and Emmett but they wouldn't let him out. You looked over to see Bella running toward your car. You waited. She jumped in the passenger side and neither of you spoke a word.  You didn't have to. You started the engine and it came to life with a roar, you peeled out of the Cullen’s drive way with tears streaming down your face and a cigarette between your lips. You fucking hated Forks. 

Bella had made you pull over halfway home, scared the tears were clouding your vision. She was probably right, the road ahead did look quite blurry. You traded places and carried on towards home. She was talking to you but you weren't really listening, just watching the trees speed past in a blur, you were sure you could see other objects moving beside you through the trees just as fast, but blinked and they were gone.

-2 weeks later- 

Grand Piano by Nicki Minaj blared through the speakers on repeat, you sat staring blankly at your sketchpad, no inspiration, no drive.. nothing. It had been like this for two weeks. Bella had apparently been the same, but you just couldn't shake it. You'd shut yourself off from everyone. Only coming out of your room to get food and use the bathroom. You felt numb. 

You could tell your Mom and Charlie were starting to worry. They'd tried to talk to you, find out whats wrong. All they knew is someone broke your heart bad. You'd started having nightmares the first night you were without Carlisle. They felt like more than nightmares though, so vivid, almost like premonitions. You'd wake up still screaming in a cold sweat clutching your chest and crying. Crying for everything you lost when Carlisle let you go. You'd never been in love before and if it felt like this then you never wanted to be again. You didn't think you could love again. 

You were spaced out, the music was still playing in the background but your mind was somewhere else, another thing that had been happening since the accident. You just went places, like you were daydreaming, lost in a trance. This time was different though. It was if you were actually there, watching things unfold, only when you came to you were in your bedroom, your paints scattered everywhere, your sketchbook now covered in imagery. You gasped and flew back from your desk, the page awash with shades of vibrant red and black. You gagged. Blood….. and a symbol, it was an emblem of some sort. You shook your head and closed the book on the now dry paints. 

What the fuck. 

It happened a few more times after that. The spacing out, coming back to earth having drawn on something or once, even scratched symbols into your desk. You'd practically stopped sleeping. Too many thoughts in your head. Even Bella was getting worried, she knew what it was like to spiral and you were doing it at 100mph. She’d suggested talking to Carlisle but you shouted at her for even bringing him up. He left you and hadn't made any attempt to contact or see you. Why give him the satisfaction. 

You'd decided enough was enough. You had to start living your life again, or at least thats what you tried to tell yourself. Today you were going to see Seth. You’d become quite close friends with Seth since getting involved in the whole supernatural side of life but you'd been shutting him out for weeks, he knew what had happened with Mr I want to suck you blood, but he didn't ask questions, which you were grateful for. You thought it would do you some good to get outside and breath in the fresh air. You couldn't wallow in self pity any longer. 

It felt weird to be in normal clothes rather than ratty old pyjamas. You parked up, jumping out of your car, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. You had brought your sketchbook with you, you didn't know who to talk to about these things, so you were going to show one to Seth, just to see if he recognised anything. 

You couldn't help but breath deeply as the air floated off the salty sea and toward your face. You smiled as you watched Seth running down the beach. His boyish grin was charming and his smile grew as he got closer to you. He wrapped you in a hug and you hugged back desperate for a bit of normalcy. 

“Hey Seth,” You grinned, thankful for a bit of human, well in this case werewolf, connection. Yeah you had Bella.. and Alice had tried to stop by from time to time, but at the minute they were just a constant reminder of him…. 

“Y/N! I missed you, things have been so strange without seeing you around ya know!” You bumped his shoulder as you walked down the beach. It had been strange. You'd moved to Forks, got involved with Vamps and the supernatural and in all this time you'd never had any normal time to yourself, or with a friend. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, you know the whole…. thing…” He just nodded his head. You didn't have to explain, he was just happy you were there now.

You'd spent hours just walking and talking on the beach. While walking you had bumped into some of the others as well, Sam, Paul…. You got along with them too, but they had never agreed with your relationship. They seemed somewhat more comfortable around you now. Catching up was good, you felt a lot lighter when you walked, your heart a little less heavy, he was still in the back of your mind though, as much as you tried to think about anything else.

There was an abandoned fire pit a little further up from where you'd been talking with the others, logs surrounded the ashy mound, placed out like small earthy benches. You'd been collecting odd pieces of wood on the way, expecting to find it there. Yourself and Seth pilled the kindling high and he started a fire, he didn't really need to because of his heat, but it was still fun. As Seth continued the fire you reached around and grabbed your leather backpack, opening the zip and fishing inside for your paint covered sketchbook. He came to sit beside you as you started flicking through the pages. You tried to glance at him from the corner of your eye to read his expressions. 

“Y/N, these are pretty amazing, and… somewhat scary…” He looked at the book and then back at you. “What are they?” His finger traced the images and the symbols. 

You shook your head and flicked through the pages more rapidly. “I don't know S, I…if I tell you something you have to promise you wont tell anyone, not even Sam, not even Jake….” You gulped and looked up at him. He looked confused. You faltered a little, getting nervous you shut your book and started to shove it in your bag. “This was stupid, I should go…” You stood up trying to leave but Seth grabbed your hand. 

“I wont tell, you can trust me I promise.” You relaxed, still hesitant, you sat back down. You took the sketchbook back out and went to the first page, tracing the symbols and images, remembering how clearly you had seen them in your mind.

“I drew these. But I didn’t, at the same time.” Seth just looked even more confused now. “I think…. I think something happened to me when I was bitten S…. Something I cant explain. This symbol, I drew this, sat at my desk, one minute the sky outside was light, the next thing I knew it was dark, and the once blank page was covered in all these drawings!” You flicked through the book and sighed placing your head in your hands. He probably thought you were crazy. You sure felt crazy.

You felt his hand rest on your back as you hunched over sighing. “Y/N I’m a wolf, The Cullen’s are Vampires… crazier things have happened, i’ve just never heard of this crazy happening yet….”

You peaked at him from your hands. “Do you know what any of the symbols mean? I see them in my dreams as well, it’s like i’m watching a movie in my head, it’s like I'm there but no one can hear me or see me.. It feels so real.” You sit up, flicking through the pages, before you can turn to the next, Seth’s hand comes flying down stopping the process as he points to one of the symbols. 

“Y/N, I’ve seen that symbol before… I think it’s something to do with the cold ones.. the Volturi to be exact.” You groan. This cant be fucking happening. Not only were you dumped now you were having freaky Volturi dreams as well? You searched in your bag for your cigarettes, you held the packet out to Seth and he surprisingly took one. You grinned.

“Wow Sethy never took you for the rebel type.” He ruffled your hair and you shoved him. “Seriously though what am I going to do, this shouldn't be happening i’m human, I didn't turn, Carlisle made sure of that.” You couldn't hide the bitter tone in your voice. 

“I don’t know what it means Y/N, but I promise we will figure it out.. cant you talk to Cull…” You glared at him before he could finish his sentence. “Never mind, stupid idea, ignore me.” You laughed and you both carried on looking through the book. What the hell did this mean?

It was late now, Seth walked you to your car, his body still close to keep you warm, the sea breeze now icy cold on your skin. You sighed, part of you didn't want to leave, it was the first kind of normal you'd felt in a really long time, even before coming to Forks. Life in your old place had been really hard, You didn't fit in anywhere, you could count your friends on one hand and you had a strange relationship with your bio dad. You thought things would get easier, Forks had the smallest population and yet you managed to find yourself smack bang in the middle of all this drama, you'd thank Bella for that later. You thought it would be easier living here, maybe you were wrong. 

You turned, looking at Seth as you reached your car, you were about to tell him you'd had a nice time, ask him if he wanted to hang out again soon, but you couldn't speak. The waves sounded louder, the air around you felt thicker and you couldn't breath. You could hear Seth’s muffled voice in the background somewhere and a pair of arms shaking you but in your head you were somewhere else entirely. 

Cloaks of black floating across the white pearlescent snow, rivers of red blood flowing all around. Wicked eyes staring into yours, and then pain.

You screamed and grabbed your head, it felt like someone had jabbed it with a white hot poker. Images flashed before your eyes, Volturi, Snow, Red, Carlisle. You gagged, so much blood, so much pain. Then, nothing. 

Your mind went dark, no images now, no sound, just the sharp ache as you feel your body shut down and hit the solid ground, then the coldness surrounded you. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys! I’m sorry it took so long for me to post another part! Hope you enjoy reading x Please comment if you'd like to be tagged! 

PT 5 -------- HERE

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@thechangingcolourswithinthewoods

@scream-kiwi79

@kettnerjanea

@caraboo15

[shyrose57]

2: I will figure it out eventually and that's a promise.

3: Watson is aboustely heart broken and near tears multiple times as well hearing Ran in so much distress and actually crying. Jackie does cry, he attempts multiple times to hug Ran and make it known he's there to comfort him, but it only works sometimes, and when it doesn't work Ran gets scared and tries to get away believing an attacker has gotten him. Grievous is almost like silently grieving, knowing he can't do anything to help his close friend. Cletus feels bad, and since he isnt too good with emotions, focuses on instead attempting to cheer everyone else up. Isaac and Benjamin feel awful as they feel at fault for letting it happen, so to hopefully help they make plans on how to make Ran as comfortable and safe as can be while also getting him to a nearby town they heard about to hopefully reverse it. Charles is doing his damn best to comfort Ran while also distracting him from his own thoughts, which mostly means Charles (and Watson) play the role of story teller for a while. Ranbob is the hardest hit by it, he's suffering so much because he so badly just wants to go over and hug his little brother and comfort him, tell him that it'll all be ok and that Bobby would protect him. But also knows he can't because he knows that would most likely do nothing but make it worse. For a while he spends his time blocking his ears and wrapped in a comfort blanket trying to comfort himself, as everyone else tend to his suffering brother. One thing that makes it harder is that Ran begins to purr to himself in a vain attempt to comfort himself (cause I personally like to think Enderman hybrids are like cats and purr like them, when their happy, content, comfortable, but also to soothe themselves and heal wounds), when Ranbob knows Ran's never purred, so knowing he's so desperate to try it now hurts him. 

You will get some comfort, like Watson manages to convince Ranbob to at least hug Ran, and Ranbob manages to purr alongside Ran a bit, which does actually help to calm Ran down. Ran getting wrapped up with the fluffiest blanket they have and always having Watson, Jackie, or Grievous by his side. With Jackie tending to hold his hand. 

4: All of the above. Sudden touch can be overwhelming to Ranbob at times, especially when he's not doing well mentally. Also while in this state, touch reminds him of the desperate grabbing and touching of the people he killed that tried to escape or fend him off. And Dream was able to hurt Ranbob by starving and dehydrating him of course, but when Ranbob was being particularly disobedient and tried to fight back Dream would often take control and cut or stab Ranbob then gave back control as punishment. 

10: It does get better! Idk if I already said but Kelalen is actually where they get the antidote for Rans blindness potion! And when their given it for free and it works, they become very grateful to Adler and Lucia (the one who actually convinced Adler to give them the potion in the first place cause it was the only one left). And a few days after they arrive they actually decide to explore the town, where they meet Siren and get more information on Dream and who he was, they also get their weapons and armor repaired by them. But while talking with Siren, Cletus and Grievous sneak off and run into Atlas, then Cletus and Grievous agree to help Atlas with his prank. But by the end of their second week in Kelalen the group starts to truly enjoy their stay, Ranbob often saying how it kind of reminds him of Mizu before everything happened. 

12: Thats funny though and is exactly how I'd want to be seen.

13: *CLAPS HANDS* OH BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU. I RECENTLY TOLD MY FRIEND ABOUT RANBOB SEEING HIS DEAD FRIENDS AND FAMILY BUT FAILED TO TELL THEM IT WASNT ACTUALLY PART OF THE STORY. SO THEY TOOK IT LITTERALY AND THEY HAVE GIVEN ME IDEAS, WHILE ALSO HELPING ME REALIZE THAT THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE USED TO SET UP FOR RANBOB MOVING PAST HIS TRAUMAS AND CAN LEAD TO MORE FLUFF AND ANGST. SO NOW IT IS PART OF THE STORY, WITH CHANGES THAT IT HAPPENED DURING A DREAM AND HE DIDNT BELIEVE IT AND CONSIDERED IT A CRUEL JOKE BY FATE ITSELF AT FIRST. AND YES BY AT FIRST I MEAN THIS HAPPENS MANY MORE TIMES.

Also my friend has a message for you, "HahA THEY BETTER THANK ME I SET THEM UP FOR MORE MISERY 😈😈 /j" (I wanna be safe so if you don't know /j means that their joking)

14: Im not doing Foolish and Dream brothers because I personally don't like/get it. But I was thinking maybe they meet Foolish after Mripat tells them that there was a member of the SMP who was said to be a god and immortal. And after some long conversations they decide to go hunt for this apparently immortal god. Which takes a while since no one actually knows where he is, just that he likes deserts, and have to go off possible sightings or hints in history books. And when they finally meet him they manage to learn about totems (which they previously didn't know about) and even get some. They also learn that infact even during the SMP time no one quite knew what Dream was, and learns the ways the SMP tried to permanently get rid of him. Foolish is also devastated to know that Dream infact survived and becomes determined to help them. Even offering his help that if they ever go back to Mizu to face Dream, he'll come along and help in anyway he can. 

15: I like to imagine Edward remembers Ranboo as the young troubled enderman that he basically adopted and took care of. So Edward sees Ranboo in both Ran and Ranbob, so he offers his help and advice. Basically becoming their Grandad, telling stories about everything he's seen. Especially about Ranboo because Ranbob is so curious about his ancestor he just cant help but ask. One convo I've been particularly thinking about goes something like, "Edward: Older one, what do you think your brother thinks about you? Ranbob: I..I think he doesnt like me, and that he wants me gone. Edward: Hmm, your wrong. Ranbob: What? Edward: When I look at Ran, I see a child, not an adult yet, scarred, scared and traumatized. A child that wishes you two were closer, that he could forgive you and wants to believe you, just so you two could be family again. But is afraid too, for he already has a family, that he is terrified of losing, and is scared if he attempts to trust you again that they may leave him. But make no mistake, your brother wants to make amends, your brother cares about you and wants you happy. He knows deep down that he can trust you, and that you are innocent, but you all must help him acknowledge those parts, and stand by him, helping him walk when needed, as he traverses his own nightmares." AKA I really want Edward to be the reason Ranbob realizes that Ran does want to be family again but needs help. Cause if I had to describe the brothers current positions with their trauma it'll be, Ranbob-Knows he has trauma and is trying to get better and live with it, willingly getting help. Ran-Is fucking drowning in trauma cause he refuses to acknowledge he has it and hides it well most of the time, also doesn't ask for help. 

2: I fear the day.

3: Hahaha, ow, ow, ow. That, overall, is...heartbreaking. At the same time though, it’s sweet to see everyone pitching in to do their best and help him. We got it with Ranbob, now we get it with Ran.

I am curious, though. From what you’ve said, Blindness potions don’t wear off immediately? Why’s that?

4: *Chants* Please punch Dream. Please punch Dream. Please punch Dream. How do the fishermen deal with this, and help Ranbob?

10: Oh, god, Ran’s blind when they arrive in town. That’s definitely a high tension situation. Not only have you got him out of commission, but everyone else high strung from it, and probably having their protective instincts in overdrive when they randomly get treated hostilely. What exactly does an antidote for blindness consist of? Do most potions have antidotes, or counters? Is milk no longer used, or is that not a thing in the AU? It does sound nice that they all end up making friends later on though. How does Ran adjust to having his sight back? And, y’know, having everyone see him like that, and his brother comfort him(if they aren’t on good terms at this point, the timeline’s confusing me a bit)

12: Throughout this conversation, every time I read something sad, the image struck me, and honestly, it’s what you deserve. If these keeps up, I’m gonna start inserting these little 🏹s every time you hurt my heart. 

13: I’m being conspired against. Does everyone see this? Brothers Anon and their friend are conspiring to break my heart. Such gremlins. What did I ever do to you two?

Also, you can tell your friend that from this point on, I will closely associate them with a tiny, purple, cackling imp. 

14: Huh. Why do they want to find Foolish? Curiosity? To learn more about the Smp? About Dream? Sounds like it has a lot of potential to be quite the interesting encounter. And, since they didn’t previously know about the totems, they probably wouldn’t notice if one activated in a certain situation where it’s popped...do with that what you will.

15: Anon, I love all of this. Tell me more about Grandpa Edward. Does he fondly look back to Ranboo being polite and quiet while Ranbob and Ran cause havoc in the background? Does he bake them snacks and tell them about Ranboo’s adventures, and how much he loved to mine-which, in hindsight, is kind of funny, considering you just mentioned that so few people follow Skeppy because of the mining, but apparently their ancestor did that thing for fun.

[flawnle]

My brain decided to have angst for my weird au thing. Feel free to ignore if you want nothing to do with it.

-[START]-

Dmitri spotted the fucker, the one who’s been messing up his prison. He gives chase, just barely keeping the person in sight as he followed. They make a right turn. He knew this would lead to a dead end. Dmitri slides into the hallway ready to confront them but instead sees someone a bit more familiar.

Wallace, his son, was standing around where the person he was chasing should be. He seemed unbothered. Like someone hadn’t just ran by. He noticed Dmitri and greeted him with a wave.

“Uh, hey kid. Did you happen to see a person run past here? I’ve been chasing them down and I’m sure I saw them run in here!”

Dmitri says quickly. Not wanting to risk the person who’s been running his place to the ground getting away. Wallace just looked confused.

“I didn’t see anyone sorry.. maybe they went the other way?”

“Im sure I saw them run in here kid. My eyesight is perfectly fine.”

“Well I honestly saw nobody.”

Dmitri groaned in annoyance. Looking down the other hallway.

“Maybe they went the other way... I can still catch them!”

He was about to go off again but Wallace stoped him.

“Actually I wanted to talk to you for a second.”

“Wallace. I really got to go after this guy..”

“They are probably gone by now, they’ll be back eventually. Next time you can get all of us to help conner them property.”

Dmitri thought for a second. The guy will indeed come back, he doesn’t seem to have finished his job.

“.. fine. What did you want to talk about kid?”

“Well it’s just I’ve realized I haven’t exactly been completely honest with you about some things..”

He said nervously. Wallace figgeted with his bracelet. Dmitri raised his eyebrows in a bit of surprise. Out of all the topics he thought Wallace was going to go to he never expected that.

“Well whatever it is I won’t be mad at you. Just explain alright? How many things are we talking about here?”

“O-only two..”

“What’s the first thing?”

“... it’s about my nightmares.”

Dmitri sighed. He knew how bad Wallace’s nightmares were, plus the fact he’s been dealing them them for about 20 years. He didn’t know much about them asside from the one time he found Wallace crying when he woke up. That was also the time he found out he had nightmares to begin with.

“What about them? Have they gotten worse or something?”

“Not exactly..”

Wallace looked Dmitri in the eyes as two lengthy looking figures rose from his shadow. Their faces looked the same, eyes not seemed to exist. They scared down at Dmitri. He took a step back.

“These... are my nightmares..”

“Kid I don’t know what to tell you but, nightmares are dreams. They don’t come out like that physically! It’s like some sort of cryptid shit!”

“I can’t expect you to believe me.. but I’m telling the truth, these things are the stuff that make my nightmares what they are.”

“May we speak now..? Speak now..?”

Wallace shot the two a look after one of them spoke. Their echoing voices seemed to bounce off walls that didn’t exist.

“Not yet.”

“... did that thing just ask you permission to speak??”

“Y-yeah... one day they just decided to leave me a alone and start listening to what I tell them too. They said I wasn’t worth the trouble if I was already this far gone.”

Wallace’s words confused Dmitri. What does he mean by ‘this far gone’? As far as he knew Wallace was the same as he has been since the day he came to the wall.

“Kid.. what are you talking about?”

“You wouldn’t notice the difference... it’s been like this for awhile...”

He gave a small nod to the creatures. They move forward a bit to speak.

“About 3-4 years to be exact~ be exact~”

“What..?”

Dmitri was stunned. How could this be happening for years when he’s seen how these very nightmares effected Wallace first hand. Then a new thought crossed his mind. Could Wallace had faked that? Pretended the nightmares effected him the way it did when that wasn’t the case? He shook his head slightly, getting rid of the thought. Wallace wouldn’t fake something like that, he had no reason to. He trusts his son.

“Is something wrong? Something wrong?”

“Yeah, your fuckin voices.”

“That’s enough guys..”

The two returned back to Wallace’s side after he spoke.

“I’m sorry for not mentioning them before, there never really was a good time for me to tell you..”

“It’s fine kid. That was then, this is now.”

“Thanks.. there still the other thing though..”

Dmitri almost forgot about that. Seeing the two creatures made him lose track of the fact wallce said there was two things, not just one.

“We’ll go ahead. Surely it can’t get weirder then you having cryptids at your command.”

“If your sure..”

Those words from Wallace made Dmitri nervous. The figures seemed to smirk, as if they knew what was to come.

“... I’m still a tophat.”

He said simply. After he spoke his posture changed. Dmitri couldn’t tell how though, he was more focused on his words.

“You.. WHAT?! Your still a tophat? Why didn’t you tell me sooner!”

“I didn’t think it was necessary. I’m still actively working here. It just made it easier to say I didn’t work with them anymore. But I feel the need to come clean about it.”

“Kid, you really should have told me. We have an alliance with them, it doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t one.”

“... I know.”

“He just didn’t want to~ want to~”

Wallace nodded at what the figure said. Dmitri finally figured out what was different. Wallacw was standing more straight, as if more professional. He didn’t like the implications of that.

“Didn’t want to..?”

“Exactly! Like Wally boy said, it was unnecessary, so why bother? Besides, he didn’t want to ruin what you thought of him. Of him.”

“Is this true?”

Dmitri asked. Now more on edge, there’s something off about all this. Wallace was still hiding something, he just knew it. And god be dammed if he didn’t find out what.

“Of course it is. They wouldn’t lie, at lest not to you. They’d only really try to lie to me.”

“I wouldn’t have thought any less of you if I knew Wallace..”

“I know, I know. I didn’t know then but I do now. That’s why I’m telling you.”

“And that’s it? That’s all you wanted to tell me?”

“Pretty much, yeah..”

Wallace started acting a bit more like one he knew. But Dmitri planned on finding out more.

“.. who exactly were you chasing just now..?”

The question caught him off guard, he was about to say something before Wallace did. But Dmitri composed himself, trying not to let Wallace know he knew something was up.

“Just the fucker that decided they could march on in here and try to sabotage my complex..”

He says with a growl. Wallace seemed to think for a second.

“Oooohhhh THATS who you were after! I know who that is.”

“Wh-what!? Yow KNOW!? Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Why wouldn’t I know who I am?”

“Wha- that’s not what I-“

Dmitri’s voice trails off his gaze matched Wallace’s as realization sank in. He smirked as he saw Dmitri’s expression.

“You.. you..”

“Come on now Dmitri. You can say it.”

“Your the one who’s been sabotaging the wall..”

His voice was shaky. Dmitri couldn’t believe it. How could he? His own son, the one who he was thinking of possibly handing the wall over to, is the one who’s been setting it up to fail. A look of satisfaction rested on Wallace’s face.

“There you go. I’m surprised it look having to say it outright for you to realize~”

Everything about Wallace changed. How he stood, how he spoke, it was startling. It was like someone flipped a switch in him. But for some reason, Dmitri got the feeling he was finally meeting the real Wallace Pemberton.

“Why..? Why would you..?”

“Sabotage the wall? It was my duty. I wasn’t just a spy, my job was to break everyone out, and I was going so slowly but surely, by taking the wall down completely..”

“But there’s a-“

“An alliance, I know. The reason’s quite simple. You were too late. The plan was too far into motion. I can’t reverse it now, so why should I stop? Might as well go all in.”

Wallace smirked once again, the nightmares behind him smirked as well. He was scary. Dmitri backed up, wanting to try to run. He couldn’t kill Wallace, he’s his son for gods sake! So his only option was to get out of there.

“And where do you think YOUR going? Your going?”

Wallaces voice mixed with the nightmares. It startled Dmitri so much he froze in place. The one of the nightmares take the opportunity to come up behind him. Stoping his attempt of escape. Wallace’s a kind of “tsk tsk tsk” sound, like he was about to scold a child.

“What made you think I’d just let you leave? There’s still some stuff I want to say~ don’t you know it’s rude to leave a conversation early?”

“...”

“Good to know your smart enough to know when to shut up.”

The nightmares laughed a bit at that. The echoing laughter made Dmitri’s head hurt.

“You know, I was planning on waiting until you give me the wall before I revealed myself. But I’ll admit, I made an amateur mistake, I fumbled. You caught on end it was either I show myself willingly, or you find out in... a situation I wouldn’t find favorable.”

“You didn’t want to be ambushed..”

“Exactly! I’m glad you understand. I always knew there was some kind of brain in that hollow skull of yours~”

“...”

Wallace looked at Dmitri. Raising an eyebrow in amusement at his expression of confusion and betrayal.

“I get why your so quiet now. Your betrayed, backstabbed, by the man you concidered your son. Confused as to why, how, I could possibly do such a thing.”

“I thought you cared..”

Wallace freezes at that. Maybe he’s feeling some form of remorse? Gult? He knew the answer almost immediately after those thoughts, because Wallace started laughing. Similar to the laugh of the nightmares. He was laughing at him, absolutely losing it. It seemed like Wallace tried to compose himself after his laughing fit.

“You.. you really thought-“

It’s hard for him to speak through his giggles.

“You really thought I cared! Haha! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard! YOU THOUGHT I CARED ABOUT YOU!”

Dmitri flinched. This was his son, his son who never cared.

“I CANT BELIEVE IT! Why would I care for a sorry old man like you!? Your a useless waist of a man who can’t even lay a finger on the person who betrayed you. All because I’m your ‘son’ “

He put son in air quotes. Cackling here and there.

“Oh Dmitri how far you’ve fallen. You’ve made my job so much easier! I was going to kill you here and now but now I don’t want to anymore.”

“Wh-what..?”

“I think I’d rather see you SUFFER. I want to watch the pain in your face as you watch your son ruin the one place you call home. The place you’ve spent your life keeping together. IM GOING TO RIP IT TO SHREADS! And you won’t do anything about it.”

Dmitri started to shake, he was actually scared of Wallace. And he knew he wouldn’t do anything to him. He couldn’t, it’d break him to put Wallace in harms way, even if he’s betrayed him.

“Your.. your a monster..”

“Oh how you flatter me. Monster is such a tame word to call me.”

He chuckled, his eyes glancing to a clock on the wall. Wallace’s expression turned into a sickly sweet smile. The nightmares disappearing.

“Sorry to cut this short.. but I have a very appointment to get to. I’ll see you again I’m sure of it.”

“...”

Dmitri watched Wallace walk away cheerfully, like nothing ever happened. He was at a loss for words. He collapsed on the ground, taking a few deep breaths, as it felt like he wasn’t breathing.

He couldn’t believe what just happened, but he had to. Dmitri couldn’t do anything but prepare for his pain. As much as he wanted to stop Wallace, he couldn’t do it. And so Dmitri walks somberly back to his office.

-[End]-