#and when he said 'i thought 'its probably the last time we get to do this to each other'' :((((((((((((((((((((( shoot me
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ameliathornromance · 18 hours ago
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The Other Woman - Final Part
A/N: Here’s part three! I know you guys wanted to know what happened to the Guard’s wife so here it is; This will also be the last part I do for this series as I’ve got a ton of other ideas and I’d like to work on those as well. Anyway, enjoy the last part!
Since you’d left the Palace in the Human populated area, time went by in a whirlwind.
Your wedding with the Lord had happened quickly after leaving and was one of the prettiest events the whole forest – and some humans – had ever seen.
The Fae Lord had been delighted to invite and meet the rest of your family. He and your father seemed to get along swimmingly already, and greeted each other like they were old friends when your families carriage arrived in the forest.
Later that evening, after catching up with your family and entertaining them the whole day, you had asked the Fae Lord something that had been on your mind for the day, “how and when did you meet my father?”
It had evaded you how he had asked your father for your hand, and it hadn’t occurred to you to ask your Fiance until today.
The Fae Lord gave his signature grin as he raised a tea cup to his lips, “I actually met him the night I said I wanted to help you.” He explained, “your father was in a pub and I had snuck out to go and do some late night drinking. He was there and we just hit it off.” The Lord set his cup down on its saucer and frowned. “Although, it wasn’t until the next morning that I actually found out he was your father, and then had to work on my image before I asked him for your hand.”
You snorted, “yeah something tells me he wouldn’t have been happy about a drunken Fae asking for my hand in marriage after you’d been out with him the previous night.”
Soon, your wares and personal items began to arrive from the Palace and amongst them, were all the presents that the King’s Guard had gifted you. They had been thrown into one of your many jewellery boxes, the necklaces tangled together with the many bracelets that the Orc had gifted you.
They felt dirty, wrong to even look at now, felt tarnished and rusted with sin as you ran your thumb over the smooth gold.
Of course, you wouldn’t dream of wearing them, but you also couldn’t stand to just throw them away. Many other people who were less fortunate than you could benefit from the money that these items cost… but the thought of giving the people evidence of adultery filled you with dread, made your stomach churn with anxiety.
You explained your complicated feelings to your fiance one morning at breakfast.
He listened intently, before suggesting, “why don’t you send them to King’s Guards’ wife?”
Your blood turned cold at the thought. “Isn’t that a bit… callous?” You asked. “For her I mean. She’s probably had the baby now, and isn’t in much of a situation to leave him if she wanted… That and then everyone would know what happened between me and her husband.”
“Not necessarily.” Your fiance said, raising a finger. He leaned his elbows on the breakfast table and pointed at you, “it doesn’t have to be done in bad taste. If you send her the jewellery and offer her a position here, with better pay and better accommodation, she may just come here and decide to work for us.”
“But what if she’s angry with me?” You asked, worriedly. “That would be such an insult to her! I don’t want to do anything to make her even more angry than she would already be with me.”
The Fae Lord pursed his lips, furrowing his eyebrows. “You didn’t know he was married did you?” He asked you.
“No, of course not!”
“And you stopped the affair after you found out, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that I did it!” You groaned.
The Fae took your hand in his, “look, you can’t control her reaction,” he said, plainly. “But, what you can do, is offer her compensation for the emotional damage she would feel from finding out. That’s why you would be offering her the job. She would be moved away from her husband, she gets better pay than she did at the Palace and her child gets to grow up in a place surrounded by greenery.” He gestured to the castle around him.
You stared at the polished wooden table in front of you. “But… what if she tells everyone that I had an affair with him?” You whispered. “I’d be ruined, and then we wouldn’t be able to marry, and then there’s my parents-”
“It would look worse on her.” The Lord said, “Of course, it’s bad that her husband had the affair, but she would be looked down on as an Orc, for trying to slander a person of the aristocracy.” He gave you a reassuring smile. “And I’ll be here to protect you, won’t I? I’ll make sure none of that does anything to stop us from being together. I promise.”
Now that you had gained some distance from the Palace you had contemplated on confessing everything to the Orc’s wife. She didn’t deserve to be stuck in that kind of situation, after all, it’s not like she did anything to warrant such an awful partner.
And so, with shaking hands and a clumsily written letter, you sent off the jewellery to the Palace and to the Orc’s wife.
The weeks after it had been sent off were like waiting on a jury verdict. Every morning you awoke in your bedroom, you expected the Fae servants attending you, to give you dirty looks or treat you coldly, as the news of you being a homewrecker, had spread through out the Kingdom and Forest.
And every morning, when that didn’t happen, you couldn’t help but sigh with relief – prompting some very concerned questions from your attendants.
You did your best to explain in the letter what had actually happened between you and the King’s Guard, and only hoped that his wife would be understanding.
You didn’t expect to be forgiven, but for her to understand would be more than enough.
What you didn’t expect however, was in the mid-afternoon when you were going over some favour colour choices for your wedding, that a Fae woman would burst into your office, panting. “Orc- woman-” she breathed, “demands to see- my Lady-”
You’d never abandoned an activity faster. Shoeing away the woman who’d brought you the favour colours, you asked the Fae, “where? Where is she?”
The Fae hoarsed out something about the Orc woman being in the gardens.
You practically dashed through the halls, leaving your own servants and the dignified stride of a Lady behind as you rushed for the gardens.
Finally, you reached the garden doors. They were tall, beautiful things, made of hard oak wood and harden sap panels for windows that swirled and curled, obscuring anyone from peering into the gardens.
As you reached for the twig door handles, you stopped just short of them.
Did you really want to see this Orc? Who was probably so angry with you, she might bite your head off?
It’s not like you could turn back now, after all, she’s right behind those crystal doors in front of you.
Sucking in a deep breath, you flung the doors open and stepped outside into the gardens.
You didn’t have to go far to find her.
The Orc Lady who you had seen in the kitchens, time and time again, with her kind smile and kind tone, was gone.
Instead, the Orc Lady stood with a suitcase in hand, a baby glued to her chest with a fabric cloth. The infant slept soundly, without any kind of inclination of what was going on.
Your stomach twisted as you recognised some of King’s Guards’ features on its face.
After a moment of silence, the Orc snarled at you. “Is it really true?” Her voice was as deep as thunder, full of murderous intent.
Pursing your lips, you lowered your head. There wasn’t anything that you could say or do to make this any better.
When you were thinking through your revenge plans, you truly had no idea whether or not you ought to tell the Guards wife. She was already going to be under enough stress as it was, seeing as she had to give birth to a baby in – what you judged to be at the time – a few weeks.
Adding a cheating husband to the mix, you determined, would do nothing to help her out.
When you said nothing, the Orc threw her suitcase at your feet. The jewellery you sent her exploded out of the case, scattered across the grass at your feet. “And you didn’t think to tell me!?” She shouted.
You kept quiet, staring at the collection of gold and silver at your feet.
“How dare you keep this from me!” She bellowed, “what did I do to deserve that being kept from me?! Did I wrong you in some way, (Y/N)?!”
Swallowing hard, you raised your head to look at her. “No.” You said, bravely. “You didn’t do anything… I was trying to think of your baby and your wellbeing-”
“And taking care of my wellbeing is keeping quiet about my cheating son of a bitch husband!?” She bellowed. She pointed a thick green finger at you, “that is not your decision to make!” She hissed.
“Well what was I supposed to do?!” You retorted. Kicking away the valuables, you approached her, “it’s not like I could out him for what he was! That would have ruined everything for me and you too! How would I know you wouldn’t do the same thing to me!?”
“Because I thought we were friends!” She snapped back.
You recoiled at her words. Friends?
The Orc’s chest heaved up and down as she rubbed her face, “I know that we weren’t exactly the closest of people,” she said, “but you were the only one who would come to the kitchens to purposefully see me. I liked having you around, (Y/N) and it broke my heart when… when he said I couldn’t tell anyone I was pregnant.” Taking her hands away from her face, she wiped her nose. “So I couldn’t see you anymore, or tell you. And I know that you didn’t know I was married, I can forgive you for that… but when you did find out, not telling me about any of it?” Tears welled up in her eyes. “And only getting that package and letter? It just…” She covered her mouth and looked away from you.
You stopped halfway over to her. You opened your mouth, wanting to say something comforting, supportive. But any kind of words like that died in your throat.
“I… I’m sorry.” you settled on finally. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I should have been up front and honest with you and shouldn’t have kept that from you.” For the first time since meeting your fiance, you cursed him.
You were right to think that his idea was cold. You continued your approach and placed a hand on the Orcs shoulder, “I know I can’t do anything to fix what I’ve done or change the past of what I did. But I can try and help you now and in the future.”
The Orc looked at you, her eyes bloodshot and still swimming with tears.
“Don’t feel like you have to take the job if you don’t want it,” you said, honestly. “If you don’t want it, I’ll be happy to do anything else to compensate what you lost – Hell, I’ll even find you a better husband if you wish.”
“I never said I wasn’t taking the job.” The Orc Lady said, quickly. She turned back around to face you. She wiped her fingers across her cheeks, drying up her stray tears and then cleared her throat. “But, if I’m going to work here, I want higher pay and more time off so I can spend it with my son.”
“Higher than I already offered?” You asked, slightly offended. What you originally offered was way higher than what the Palace was offering her, at least three times the pay. And now she wants more?
The Orc Lady crossed her arms, just in front of her baby and narrowed her eyes at you.
Sighing, you lamented, “okay, okay. Higher pay then.” You supposed that she had a right to demand more of you, especially after your affair.
She gave you a weary smile at you. “Thank you my Lady.” She pursed her lips, “and… thank you for finally telling me about what happened.”
The position you’d offered your ex’s wife, was kitchen work, but this time, she was head of it. Her son – whom she had decided to name Cogak – was a bright baby, even just fresh out of the womb.
You arranged for him to have his own nanny so his mother could work without worrying about him.
The friendship you’d had with the Orc Lady wouldn’t be like it was before, but your trying to make things better, was a start.
The Fae Lord had smiled one evening as the pair of you decided on what flowers would be at your wedding venue. “I never expected an Orcling to be so intelligent.”
“Well, he is getting a noble child’s education.” You explained. “Apparently, he’s already doing better than most children his age. And that’s comparing him to the other Fae.”
The Fae chuckled as he examined a bouquet of blue orchids. “What about these for the reception?”
“What’s your suit colour?” You asked, quickly.
As if your fiance was himself a bride, he’d been very closed about what kind of suit he would be wearing to your wedding.
One time, you’d walked into his office and he squealed, and threw himself on top of the sketches his designer had come up for him, like he was a maiden who’d been walked in on while getting changed.
His closed off nature about it, only made you even more curious.
“If you think you’re going to get that out of me that easily, then I’d say this marriage isn’t going to last long, my darling.” The Fae Lord smirked as he ran his thumb over the petals of the flower.
“Patiences is a virtue. You don’t see me trying to peek at your wedding dress, do you?” He smirked, slyly. “I know it’s a human tradition, but why can’t I follow it too?”
He was right of course, he’d been incredibly respectful about your wedding dress and preferences when it came it. He was also very generous, giving you a large sum of gold to actually buy said wedding dress, “all I want is for you to be happy!” he’d said as he’d handed, three, four, five, six pouches of gold into the dressmakers hands.
The Fae Lord had given you a smile and whispered to you as he left the room, “let’s make our wedding the topic of the century!”
Although you chuckled at his words, you didn’t want to outshine the King and Queen. It would be an insult to the both of them, given that the Queen had been the one who had allowed you to become her Lady in Waiting. Without her, you wouldn’t have met the Fae Lord.
So, you decided to keep your dress modest, but elegant. It followed the traditional white, but had elements of the Fae world you would be marrying into. Little details of moss, spider web glittering on the train of your dress, while you had a golden, wreath as your tiara.
On the day of the wedding everything went smoothly.
As you started your walk down the aisle – with your father at your side, “I’m very happy you caught the eye of this Fae fellow, he’s a good time.” He had whispered as you prepared for your walk – you caught sight of your family crying tears of joy.
Your Fiance, at the other end of the aisle, seemed to outshine you as the bride.
His suit was quite the marvel, and you now understood why he didn’t want you to see it.
The dark red fabric accompanied by a rose petal cloak, contrasted with his white hair, that fell down his back, and over his shoulders like sheets of snow; He looked incredible.
After vows – with many tears – and the sealing of your union with a kiss, the whole room erupted with cheers and claps.
The reception afterwards was beautifully bright and colourful, with Fae and Humans dancing together as you and your husband sat and watched from behind the head table.
The Orc Lady’s son – who had grown surprisingly fast – was happy to be there, surrounded by people who doted on him as if he was the main celebrant of the reception.
Your Fae Lord Husband didn’t leave your side the whole night, dancing with you and bringing back the memories of when you first properly met.
The days following were hazy. You seemed to be barely lucid in that time, thanks to all the alcohol present, alongside your husband who – you had found out that night – was a clingy, emotional drunk.
“At first,” he had slurred at the reception, “I was a little worried about asking you, like,” he stared at you, his huge black eyes consuming your gaze. “You’re so beautiful and, I’m just some mud Fae,” he gestured to himself. “Who am I to ask someone like you to dance?”
You had rolled your eyes and pulled him into your arms, silencing his self-deprecating words. “No, don’t say that.” You had slurred back, “I’d have accepted even if you were a toad!”
But once the drunkenness had cleared, you’d found that you were feeling a lot more sickly than usual.
At first, you thought it was just the remainder of the alcohol finding it’s way out of your system. But when it didn’t go away after a month, you went to go and seek a physician.
And after a few tests, she confirmed to you what you had suspected: you were pregnant.
The Fae Lord was over the moon when he found out and excitedly told anyone who would listen about your pregnancy.
And now in the present, as you watched your husband natter to anyone who would listen about the names he’d thought of for your baby, you realised that you had never felt more content.
This was better than any fairy tale or romance novel that you’d ever read.
You occasionally thought about the King’s Guard, and how he was doing. But that never lasted long, as you were often pulled back into the present moment by your husband.
Who loved and cherished you more than that Orc ever could.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 5 months ago
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sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.
#xmen#xmen first class#xmen dofp#xmen apocalypse#xmen dark phoenix#cherik#snap chats#im gonna be sick ive rewatched this like five times#IM STILL PISSED AWF AND THEN HEARING HIS COMMENTARY ABOUT IT OUUUUGGHHHH#OOOH WHAT IF I THREW ROCKS#LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS CUT. aside from that gorgeous 'where are you doing' scene in first class ofc BUT WHAT ELSE#im forced to believe there was a make-up and/or hate sex scene in dofp because wdym they were worried about censorship#LIKE WHAT. WHAT DID THEY CUT. CAUSE CENSORSHIP OVERSEAS IS ONLY FOR EXPLICITLY QUEER THINGS INNIT#maybe paris can be our always i hate it here NO I LOVE HOW THE PARIS BIT IS EVEN /THEIR/ COPE#LIKE PLEAAAAASSE im throwing up. maybe if i draw cherik ill feel better#on the real its genuinely so sad. like even outside of shipping this is still art being reduced#and what we have is still good but the thought that it coudlve been BETTER ...#again their connection is already good from what we have in the final but just ... the lost emphasis of it all if that makes sense#ESPECIALLY outside of first class and dofp- like their relationship really is so sparse in DP and apocalypse its so sad#i think what makes it esp sad is how upset james is about the cut material like its so nice that hes so invested in their relationship too#and its just gotta be so. Excuse Me What when youre told 'hey so your characters cant having a deeper relationship or we're fucked'#'even though the relationship between these two is one of the most fascinating aspects of this generation of xmen films'#is it so hard to want to see like .. even just an intimate 'friendship'. like would it be so bad to see them be so heartfelt#or even just bein a bit silly. or hell ill take them fighting again ANYTHING I BEG YOU the humanity between them is so important#LIKE PLEASE im gonna cope and seethe forever i fear#and when he said 'i thought 'its probably the last time we get to do this to each other'' :((((((((((((((((((((( shoot me#at least we'll always have paris ....
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parkeryangs · 11 months ago
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my parents are putting my dog down tomorrow
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months ago
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Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.
i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon
#snap chats#no smarmy one-sentence response i fear i never play about my dad's character and its been. A Month so i gotta be earnest#Comically And Topically tho i still wonder wtf my dad meant when he said 'i always thought of being a girl' when i opened up to him#part of me thinks he was just joking and thats probably it but also ....... //audible confusion + vine boom + eyebrow quirking//#its so funny you brought up my dad though i was thinking of visiting him this weekend#last week my Bitch Ass Mom wanted to watch a movie with me and since speak no evil was coming out i proposed we see that#since starting therapy shes been 'trying' to be closer with us but she still doesnt like me on a fundamental level so get bent ig#but she hates horror movies and made a whole show of not wanting to go and how american movies are so brutal and blah blah#this was right after she took me ice skating with her .. cause shes obsessed with ice skating now ... like maam please#i like skating so thank you but ... idk ... she never wants to do things i wanna do#then again we're pretty different i think so. LOL sorry i like horror movies and nothing you like apparently#im glad she didnt come cause i just went with my bro and since the theater was Virtually Empty we just cracked jokes the whole time vjlaekv#plus i just know my mom wouldve been annoying and i wanted to enjoy the movie !!!! which i did ty !!!!!!!#but yk who LOVES horror movies and who i used to watch horror movies with all the time growin up !!!!!!!!!!#i havent seen a movie with my dad in forever.... the last one we saw was so long ago but it was some weird owen wilson movie i think#wait now that ive dragged my mom into this she started therapy Did I Share That. Im Reminding You Anyway#but the most vile thing i ever heard her say was that she admitted to me she never loved my dad 'emotionally'#like wow ..... a thousand life times in hell for you i think i cant even begin to describe the rage chat i could write a novel#but i only have 30 tags so i wont. i should call my dad tho.. this is inspiring me to call my dad thank you anon#if youre still reading Double Thank You. i havent complained about my mom in a while and this was just funny timing overall vjRLKJAEVK#ok im gonna go talk with my dad now. my college friend's coming oevr in like three hours and we're gonna watch glass#cause that came up in convo yesterday Long Story so that should be funny vjlekjlakj
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tommygotwrittenoff · 6 months ago
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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phagodyke · 2 years ago
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actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then
#i think its bc a) when i came out at like 15 everyone was super surprised so i assumed ppl still found it unexpected even now#+ b) im not super aware of social cues generally (autism) so dont tend to pick up on stuff like that unless its explicitly said#+ also c) ive never felt like i physically appear very conspicuous bc i dont have any piercings/tattoos/never dyed my hair etc#i only cut my hair short relatively recently too..... so idk i just assumed i blended into the background for everyone#but now im interacting with ppl outside of my tighter social circle more often ive become more aware-#of how ppl might perceive me. or rather ive become aware of just how UNaware i am of how ppl might perceive me#and its really funny how many odd interactions ive had in the past suddenly make sense if u assume the other person clocked me as gay#like strangers that have gotten flustered around me that might be bc i was giving off strong dyke vibes etc#the other day i was in a bookstore and the guy behind the counter was very stiff + quiet until i replied to smth he said and suddenly he-#became way more animated + started talking to me more casually + that was the first time i realised i probably sound gay as fuck#like i think i kinda have a stereotypical gay mannerism/lilt to the way i talk... no wonder i used to get called a fag so often lmfao#or like i remember trying to find a lab partner in 3rd yr of my degree + i had to do it on call only bc of covid + there were a bunch-#of us with similar lab interests but it got sorted SO fast bc this one other student seemed to gravitate immediately towards me#and i remember thinking afterward that it was odd how quickly we resolved that. esp bc we didnt even meet it was just voice call#anyway yeah i found out she was a dyke much later but i think maybe she clocked me straight away bc of how i sound....?#and that was why she warmed to me so quickly... but god i remember debating for ages with my ex abt whether she was gay or not#like my gaydar is truly terrible i suck balls at picking up on cues so its funny that to some people im reeking signals#also i met up with an ollldddd old friend last week + 30 secs in she was like oh fuck you must use different pronouns now#gesturing to Me. like oh..... im visibly gnc......? or maybe behaviourally???? idk. also shes v femme which made me realise that-#i rly do come across kinda masc/butch nowadays. even tho ive never really thought abt it that deeply before or made an effort to#i mean yeah i do identify along those lines but ive never directly considered how to flag that to other people etc im just doing me baby#ANYWAY this has been a rly long ramble idr what point i was getting at but just find it fascinating to think abt how im read in public#bc im just genuinely so unaware of it. its weirdly rly validating to find out that im automatically recognised as dykey + a little masc#boosted my confidence a lot as well tbh ive felt rly comfortable in myself lately. partly also cuz im getting a little muscular ;^)#ANYWAYYYYYY enough of all that i need to go sleep if youre reading this ily goodnighttt xoxo#.diaries
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dear-ao3 · 1 month ago
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so. as you may know it’s christmas eve. as you probably don’t know i am eastern european. and probably the only real tradition anyone holds onto is christmas eve. normally my great aunt does all the food and very begrudgingly sometimes lets everyone help make like. one thing.
well.
this year. the year of our lord two thousand and twenty four. she decided she was done cooking and it was up to everyone else.
so i got a phone call from my mom a few weeks ago being like hey so. you’re making the cake. got it? good.
the cake in question is a walnut cake. i was entrusted with my great aunts recipe about seven years ago. i’ve made it twice. the first time i fucked up the frosting quantity. the second time i fucked up the eggs. both times were passable at best and notably! my great aunt did not taste either of them.
and i have to make this cake. on christmas eve. it is dessert. for everyone. my extended family will all be eating the cake. the walnut cake. on christmas eve. even my great aunt.
so yesterday, december 23 if you are counting, i went on the annual Last Minute Christmas Food Shopping Trip with my father, watched him climb into the case to get his half and half like he does every year, and stressed about my cake as i made sure i had all of the ingredients.
then. we went to my great aunts house. where i was met with Trial Number 1: The Cognac
this cake has cognac in the frosting. not a big deal really. except for the fact that my mom hates that there is cognac in the frosting. (my mom is hell bent on making christmas eve dinner vaguely healthier. no one else agrees.) and i was to be making the cake in my moms house.
also important to note: we (as in my parents) do not own cognac. mostly because none of us drink.
so my great aunt is like oh i have to give you the cognac. cause she knows. i am baking the cake. the walnut cake. (my dad told her. he is a traitor). and i say okay. sure. this won’t be a problem at all.
so she gives me. a shot of cognac. and when i say a shot. i mean an Entirely Full Shot Glass of Three Hundred Dollar Cognac. in a jar. for the cake. the walnut cake. that i have to make.
upon bringing the cognac home my mom says no we’re not putting that in. the cognac sits on the counter in its jar. no one touches it.
then i was met with Trial Number 2: The Frosting.
this recipe requires a pound of chopped walnuts. first. i couldn’t even find the walnuts. my sister and i searched high and low and in every cabinet we could find but no nuts. i called my mom. and said mom where are the walnuts? and she said. “they’re in the nut bag behind the basement door.”
oh of course. how could i have missed the nut bag? a holiday bag full of bags of nuts that was half hidden by wrapping paper and also behind a door?
in any case. could i have used a food processor? absolutely. did i? no. half because i forgot and half because i didn’t want to accidentally grind the walnuts into a paste. so i enlisted the help of my younger sister to chop the walnuts By Hand while i embarked on the real devil: the frosting.
which remember. is supposed to have cognac.
so i cream my butter. i add my sugar. i’m careful not to over sugar. i taste it a million times. i add my coffee and my vanilla extract (instead of cognac. which is still sitting on the counter) and it was all going so well until. the butter rebelled.
now remember. one time when i made this. seven years ago. i made too little frosting. so i made more this time. and i thought i had all my conversions right but evidently i did not because suddenly there was too much liquid in my frosting and it split.
the frosting for the walnut cake that everyone was going to eat. on christmas eve. the very next day.
i felt like a contestant on great british bake-off getting smited by the tent.
so i did the logical thing and shoved the whole mess into the fridge hoping that it would sort itself out overnight.
then it was time to face Trial Number Three: The Cake Itself.
as i have said this cake is a walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake that has been at christmas eve longer than i have been alive. and it requires no less than ten egg whites. which i whipped and i added to my walnuts and shoved the whole thing into the oven in my two baking dishes.
only to discover no less than 40 minutes later that the batter in the pans was Not Even (despite my best efforts). so i cooked one longer than the other and hoped that i hadn’t monumentally fucked up the walnut cake. like i had the frosting. which was in the fridge. and i was ignoring.
which leads to Trial Number Four: The Egg Yolk Cake
see i had ten egg yolks. i didn’t know what to do with them. my mom said flush them. my dad said make a custard. i proposed making egg nog. my mom said she didn’t want it in the house cause it was too fattening (a blatantly incorrect statement. please, if you are reading this, go drink a glass of eggnog. or some other fun festive drink. food is for the soul.) so i produced a recipe for an egg yolk pound cake. i made it. i still don’t know if it came out good cause i haven’t tasted it. i hope it did. but that was not the point. the point is the walnut cake. the christmas eve walnut cake.
and the following morning i was met with Trial Number Five: The Frosting Part 2
first i threw my failed frosting back in the mixer and it immediately secreted a brackish combination of vanilla extract and coffee so i did the only thing i could. facetimed my dad and said “father there are problems abound.” and he gave me the fatherly advice of “make it again.”
and so i did.
with more correct measurements. still scared it would split at any second.
though it didn’t.
and i didn’t add the cognac.
maybe no one will be able to tell???
my mom said that if anyone asks the first batch of frosting failed and i had to toss it. this is technically true.
but i had frosting. i had two uneven cakes. and it was time for Trial Number Six: Decorating
decorating cakes is easily in my top ten least favorite activities. decorating the christmas eve walnut cake is easily in my top three least favorite activities. because i am terrible at decorating cakes. and also because it has a filling.
the filling is jam. and i once again made the wrong choice because i put the jam on first before the frosting. which to be fair is what the directions say. but as everyone knows, the directions in recipes you get from your eastern european great aunt are not the real directions. so now i had to smear butter cream. on top of jam. for the filling of the walnut cake. for christmas eve. that we would be eating in a few hours.
and we didn’t have a cake plate. we had a large dish.
i had to use my fingers. i had to use three spatulas. i got jam everywhere. but i did it. and as soon as i set the top cake on top of the filling i realized my monumental mistake: i was supposed to trim down the cakes.
so now they were uneven. and lopsided. and there was nothing i, a mere mortal tasked with the impossible task of making christmas eve walnut cake, could do about it.
so i continued to spread my frosting. which i had enough of. and tried and failed to not get jam everywhere.
in the end it was almost presentable. not great. slightly lopsided. and definitely not as nice as any of my great aunts cakes.
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which left me with Trial Number 7: Chilling It
our fridge was being taken up by other important christmas eve things (though not as important as my cake. the walnut cake) so i had to put it in the car. which was fine because there is snow on the ground.
i covered my cake. the walnut cake. in tin foil and hoped i wouldn’t accidentally squish it. and then i went outside. i tried to steal my moms shoes to walk outside. she was not impressed.
“you know, saph,” she said. “some of the time you’re pretty great. the other half of the time you’re really weird.”
i could not agree more.
i put my cake on the trunk. prayed to the cake gods and went inside.
on the one hand if the cake is good, i will be stuck making walnut cake for christmas eve for the rest of my life. on the other hand, if it sucks i will never have to make another one.
Trial Number Eight: The Tasting still waits.
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arcane-strangeness · 7 months ago
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🟩🟦 <- us
-duet partner
hey, we're the kratt brothers! i'm chris, and (you're) i'm martin. today we're coming to you from the east coast of florida, to teach you about hermit crabs!
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littlelamy · 3 months ago
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you were right!
a/n: okay, i know you guys might be tired of me doing these but this is my last one! i hope you all like it 😜 gifs from @rafeyscurtainbangs
The blazing Moroccan sun beats down on Rafe, its intensity mirrored by the firestorm raging in his mind. Dust hangs in the air around him, adding to the harshness of the moment as he stands over the well. Below, Groff coughs and groans, his face contorted in pain, but Rafe barely spares him a second glance. His rage overpowers everything else, even the satisfaction he should feel. He narrows his eyes, voice laced with anger and finality.
“Checkmate, bitch!” he yells down, his words slicing through the hot, tense air. The motorcycle engine he’d used to get out here sits idle a few feet away, rumbling like his frustration.
He turns on his heel, muttering a curse, fists clenched. As he stalks away from the well, he pulls out his phone and dials Sofia’s number, his chest tight with the realization that everything he thought he knew was a lie.
Sofia answers after two rings, her voice as casual as if he hadn’t just found out about her betrayal. “Hey, babe, what’s up ?”
Rafe’s voice is steely, cold. “Is it true? Is it true, what Groff just told me? Is it?”
The silence on her end is all he needs. He can practically hear her scrambling for words, but she never manages to answer. His face twists in anger.
“Pack your shit. Get out of my house,” he snarls, a final, unforgiving edge in his voice. “God, after everything I did for you? We’re done. Done.” He hangs up before she can say another word, shoving his phone back into his pocket with a bitter scoff. Betrayed, twice over—and he’d ignored the only person who saw it coming.
He stands there, baking in the Moroccan heat, his mind racing back to a month ago in Kildare, when you and he had argued over Sofia. You’d warned him that she wasn’t who she seemed. He’d brushed you off, accusing you of jealousy—knowing damn well that there was more to it. You were his best friend, but it was complicated; that line had already been crossed too many times, with late-night kisses and tangled sheets. But you two hadn’t spoken since that fight, since the way he’d brushed you off had hurt deeper than either of you cared to admit.
Taking a breath, he pulls out his phone again, fingers hovering over your name. He hesitates, swallowing his pride, before finally pressing call.
The phone rings, and you pick up after a few moments, your voice tight with annoyance. “What, Rafe?”
Your tone makes him pause, but the way you sound almost comforts him, even with the irritation clear in your voice. You’re there—back in Kildare, probably sitting cozy in your little apartment. Meanwhile, he’s out here under the scorching sun, alone, trying to piece together his pride.
He clears his throat. “Hey… princess,” he says, voice softened, the pet name slipping out before he can stop it. He can almost feel you rolling your eyes on the other end, but he presses on, the words weighing heavy on him. “I—uh… Look, I’m sorry. You were right.”
There’s a surprised pause, and he hears you shift in your seat as if you’re debating whether to hang up or let him speak. When you do answer, your tone is a bit softer, cautious.
“What happened?”
Rafe lets out a dry, humorless laugh. “Turns out Sofia was exactly who you said she was. A snake. And here I was, thinking you were just being… petty. But I guess I’m the idiot, huh?”
You breathe out, and he can picture you shaking your head, lips pressed together. “You wouldn’t listen,” you say quietly, as if the words hold more hurt than anger.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair, the frustration evident in his voice. “I know. I was so damn sure you were just jealous. I mean—” He pauses, grappling with how to say it. “Hell, I thought you were jealous because you… I don’t know. I thought you didn’t want me with her because we…” His voice trails off, but the implication lingers between you.
“Yeah,” you say softly, almost to yourself. “I get it.”
Rafe bites his lip, letting the words sink in. “Can I see you? I’m done here in a few days, and I could be back in Kildare very soon. I could stop by, explain… properly.”
A beat passes, and when you finally speak, it’s careful, guarded. “After everything you said last time, why should I?”
He laughs softly, almost self-deprecating. “Because I think you might be the only person I can trust right now. And… I miss you.” His voice drops, laced with a warmth he can’t help. “Even if you’re just going to gloat and rub it in my face.”
You chuckle, and he smiles, savoring the sound. “I don’t know if I miss you or if I just feel sorry for you,” you tease, but the playfulness is back in your tone, if only faintly.
“Yeah, yeah,” he says, amusement lacing his words. “Act like you don’t care. But come on, you miss me. Admit it.”
A small silence follows, and he imagines the way your lips twitch into a smile. Finally, you relent. “Maybe a little. But you’re bringing wine. Good wine.”
“Oh, don’t worry, baby,” he says, the flirtation back in his voice. “Only the best for you.”
You scoff, but he hears the hint of a laugh. It’s the closest thing he’s had to a good moment in a long time. He takes a breath, savoring the thought of leaving this mess behind and getting back to Kildare—back to the only person who knew him well enough to call him out, and care anyway. As the call ends, he puts his phone in his pocket, a grin spreading across his face, motivating him to get that crown and go to his princess.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif
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halfgirl-halfdolll · 2 months ago
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Extremely self-indulgent. For the neurodivergent girlies. English isn't my first language, so my apologies for any mistake. I also have no idea how to write a Scottish accent 🧘🏻‍♀️ bear with me
You knocked on the dark hardwood door as you've had done plenty of times before.
It has been almost six months since you've signed that contract. That one, the one where you forfeited 4 years of your life in exchange for stable wages and proper housing.
For someone with no life, no family and no friends (besides the online weirdos you'd talk to from time to time), that was kinda good, if you could say so yourself.
You had stability, even though it came with the cost of being tied down to a military base chock-full of people who didn't really understand you.
That was fine though. THAT, you were used to. It comes with the neurodivergence: the side eyes, the whispers and the isolation.
What you weren't used to, however, was how your heart would race like a rabbit on a run for its life whenever you knocked on that one door. And you had to knock on it quite a lot of times.
You rapped your knuckles against the hardwood once more when you got no reply, cracking the door open just a little bit to peek inside.
"Cap?" You said, voice almost a whisper. After a few seconds, you heard an answer.
"Come in, love. Didn't know it was you." A strong, booming voice came from inside and you swallowed the lump on your throat that always formed whenever you had to go to Price's office.
Not because you were afraid of him, no. On the contrary. Maybe Price and the rest of the task force were the only ones who didn't treat you like an aberration – probably because they were aberrations of their own merit.
Maybe it was stupid of you to get giddy over being treated well by some of your coworkers, but when the bare minimum was so rare, you latched onto it like a dog with a bone.
And in spite of yourself, you couldn't control your own heart. It would be racing like a schoolgirl with a crush whenever you went to visit any of the men from the task force. You gave up on trying to tame it.
"Hi Cap" you said, with a small smile, approaching his desk. On the corner of your eyes, you saw the other three burly men that made up 141 and waved.
"Hey, lass, good ta see ya!" Soap hollered, voice loud as ever. You could probably feel it vibrating inside your bones if he spoke for a little longer and you loved it; as much as you envied it. What wouldn't you do to be just a little bit outgoing like that? Maybe things would be just a tad easier.
"How can I help my favorite secretary?" Price asked, the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he smiled, crow's feet getting a lot more pronounced in a way you probably thought of more than you should.
You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
"I'm your only secretary."
"Doesn't make my statement any less true."
You shook your head and placed a manila folder in front of him.
"I need your autograph, Cap."
"What for?"
"Because I'm your biggest fan and I wanna put it on my refrigerator...?" You answered humorously, and Price raised an eyebrow. You sighed. "We need to authorize the training of a few new recruits and they need your approval. So I need you to sign it."
Price huffed out a low chuckle and began leafing through the needlessly thick document. You poked your finger into the folder, fishing out the last pages, and walked towards the other men sitting on the other side of the office.
"I like today's dress, love." Gaz was manspreading on one of Price's armchairs, head resting on his palm as he gave you an once over. If it were anyone else, you'd probably hate the way you were being perceived – it usually made you feel like a bug being watched through a magnifying glass. But under his gaze, you just felt like a doll being admired.
"Do you, now? It's one of my favorites." You bowed dramatically while holding the hem of the dress. It was just another one of the black frilly dresses that you wore like a signature. It flew around you as you spun on your feet to show the black ribbon on the back.
"Adorable as always. If I wasn't selfish, I would say it's wasted inside this base, but I like to have you around way too much." His eyes gleamed with mirth and, in any other situation, you'd think he was secretly mocking you – but not Kyle. Not any one of them. You knew the compliments were genuine, even if they didn't understand why you insisted on sticking out like a sore thumb when it brought you so many problems.
You knew they would never really understand how masking could hurt you, but you were grateful they still defended your decision on just being yourself.
"Look at tha' key on yer neck." Soap pointed at your necklace. "I ken what's tha' for. It's the key to my heart, aye?" He said with an exaggerated wink and a smile that could blind you.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." You rolled your eyes, smiling, and pushed a paper into his hand and did the same with Gaz and Ghost.
"I need your autographs as well. You heard my explanation already."
" 'm not built for a life of fame, love." Simon grunted, shifting on his seat right beside Soap.
"Too late, the spotlight already found you. Now you gotta give me your autograph or I'm gonna cancel you on social media."
He huffed.
"Don't ya think I should have been canceled a long time ago?"
"Probably." You shrugged, and handed him a pen. "I like my favorites problematic, what can I say."
Soap barked out a laugh, mindlessly scanning the document and Ghost merely shook his head.
"Do I gotta sign this? Don't really feel like training new runts." The masked man muttered and you shrugged.
"Don't shoot the messenger. I don't really want new young men around me either." You walked back towards Price's desk after collecting the documents and placed them neatly inside the folder after he was done surveying every single fine print.
"What do you guys want for lunch?" You asked as you tucked the documents under your arm. Price clicked his tongue.
"You don't have to keep bothering with making food for us, love. We can all eat at the canteen like everyone else." The older man leaned back on his chair, folding his arms.
You looked to the side, with a small pout on your lips.
"But if I make you guys' lunch, then I can emotionally blackmail you into eating with me at the kitchen." You mumbled, avoiding any and all eye contact.
"So it was all a ploy to keep us nearby? I thought you were doing that because you liked us. I'm so hurt, dear." Kyle spoke up from his seat, a dramatic hand over his chest as he leaned his head back. You put a hand over your mouth, hiding your grin.
"Maybe I'm just learning a thing or two from hanging around tacticians?"
"Aw, Captain, come on. How can we leave the poor doll hangin'? And we get ta eat actually good food, not that canteen slop! Come on!"
Price sighed, shaking his head in defeat.
"Anything you make will be great, love."
"As long as it has proteins and carbs." Ghost added from his seat and you snickered. He had already seen you eating your comfort foods before and, needless to say, he didn't approve of them.
"As long as it has proteins and carbs." Price repeated, with a nod.
"Proteins and carbs, okay, got it." You said with a fierce nod, walking back towards the door to the older man's office. "Meet you guys at the kitchen?"
"1200, sharp." Price said, with eyes as soft as the smile under his moustache. You gave him a small salute on your way out.
"Yessir."
This will probably be a little anthology of scenes I think of, involving poly!141 x neurodivergent reader who works for them as a secretary. They might not have much continuity but I'm using this as a self-healing, self-indulgent blog, separated from my main. Expect mostly fluff and angst from me.
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captainfantasticalright · 11 months ago
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In 1985, one of the only persons interested in an interview with a “new” writer called Terry Pratchett, after his publication of the Colour of Magic, was one Neil Gaiman. Neil Gaiman was writing for Space Voyager at the time. "The Colour of Pratchett" was the name given here:
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It ran exactly one page inside the June/July issue of that year. The interview took place in a Chinese restaurant in London.
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Here is Neil many years later holding that issue. You can see it here if you want. Warning: extremely emotional video.
Neil arrived wearing a grey homburg hat. “Sort of like the ones Humphrey Bogart wears in movies” he later wrote. (Before saying that in fact he did not look like him, but like someone wearing a grown-up’s hat). Terry Pratchett, photo courtesy of one @neil-gaiman, was in a Lenin-style leather cap and a harlequin-patterned pullover. At this point, Terry was already a hat person, although not that hat.
Terry offered Neil this : "An interview needn't last more than 15 minutes. A good quote for the beginning, a good quote for the end, and the rest you make up back at the office"*. (Terry Pratchett had worked many years in journalism by this point ).
But the meeting went terribly well. The two of them realized they had "the same sort of brains". So well indeed, that in 1985, Neil had shown Terry a file containing 5282 words, exploring a scenario in which Richmal Crompton's William Brown had somehow become the Antichrist. Was a collaboration in the cards as of that moment? Not really. But Terry found in Neil someone to whom he could send disks of work in progress and to whom he could pick up the phone sometimes when he hit a brick in the road of his writing.
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Terry loved it and the concept stayed in his mind. A couple of years later, he rang Neil to ask him if he had done any more work on it. Neil had been busy with The Sandman, he had not really given it another thought. Terry said, "Well I know what happens next, so either you sell me the idea or we can write it together". **
On collaborating together:
Here is a video of Sir Terry saying why he chose to collaborate with Neil, another video talking about the technical difficulties of writing a book when the two of them where miles apart ,and some pages from Interzone Magazine Issue 207 published December 2006:
An Interview with Sir Terry Pratchett and his works- and Neil Gaiman, where he shortly addresses the process of writing Good Omens.
Terry shortly mentions,
“Neil doesn't rule out another book with me and he was good to write with...yep, it could happen. With anyone else? I don't know, but probably not.?”
Neil says,
"Terry took that initial 5,000 words of mine and ran it through the computer (because I’d lost the files in a computer crash) and made it the first 10,000 words, and it was definitely Good Omens at that point. Neither one thing nor the other, but a third thing.”
"I think Terry could do a very good impersonation of me if he needed to, and I could do a very good impersonation of him; so we knew the area of the Venn diagram in which we were working. But mostly the book found its own voice very quickly. It helped that we were both scarred by the William books when we were kids...”
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And as you know, unless you’ve been living in Alpha Centauri, the rest is history. That was the beginning of what would become William the Antichrist and later would get the name Good Omens:The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. (Title provided by Neil Gaiman and subtitle by Terry Pratchett).
More about the writing process:
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Terry took the first 5,000 words and typed them into his word processor, and by the time he had finished they were the first 10,000 words. Terry had borrowed all the things about me that he thought were amusing, like my tendency back then to wear sunglasses even when it wasn't sunny, and given them, along with a vintage Bentley, to Crawleigh, who had now become Crowley. The Satanic Nurses were Satanic Nuns.
The book was under way.
We wrote the first draft in about nine weeks. Nine weeks of gloriously long phone calls, in which we would read each other what we'd written, and try to make the other one laugh. We'd plot, delightedly, and then hurry off the phone, determined to get to the next good bit before the other one could. We'd rewrite each other, footnote each other's pages, sometimes even footnote each other's footnotes. We would throw characters in, hand them off when we got stuck. We finished the book and decided we would only tell people a little about the writing process - we would tell them that Agnes Nutter was Terry's, and the Four Horsemen (and the Other Four Motorcyclists) were mine.
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From the introduction to William the Antichrist:
“In the summer of 1987 several odd ideas came together: (..)I found myself imagining a book called William the Antichrist, in which a hapless demon was going to be responsible for swapping the wrong baby over, and the son of the US Ambassador would be completely undemonic, while William Brown would grow up to be the Antichrist, and the demon would need to stop him ending the world. The unfortunate demon, whom I called Crawleigh, because Crawley was a nearby town with an unfortunate name, would have to sort it all out as best he could.
It felt like a story with legs.
Terry took the 5,000 words, and rewrote them, calling me to tell me what he was doing and what he was planning to do. The biggest thing he was going to do, he told me, was split the hapless demon into two characters – a would-be-cool demon in dark glasses (which was, I think, Terry’s way of making fun of me, a never-actually- cool journalist in dark glasses) who had renamed himself Crowley, and a rare-book dealer and angel called Aziraphale, who would embody all the English awkwardness that either of us could conceive.”
William the Antichrist being a direct inspiration of the 1976 film The Omen. If the baby swap had just been a little bit messier and the kid had gone off somewhere else he would have grown up as somebody else. “And then there was a beat and I thought, I should write it, it will be called William the Antichrist” says Neil. ***
“The first draft of Good Omens was a William-book. It was absolutely in every way it could be a William book. It had Violet Elizabeth Bott, it had William and the Outlaws, it had Mr. Brown”.
Over time they realized that they would have more creative freedom if they in their own words filed off the serial numbers. William and the Outlaws becoming Adam and the Them.
But the spirit of Just William was never far away.
The joy for Neil was to construct “perfectly William sentences”. The one when Anathema tells Adam that she has lost the Book, and he tells her that he has written a book about a pirate who became a famous detective and it is 8 pages long… that’s “a William sentence”.
If you want to read more details about William The Antichrist, here are some slides I made.
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Good Omens was also inspired by a particularly antisemitic moment in The Jew of Malta and John le Carre's spy novels. (Neil’s ask)
 Then I was reading The Jew of Malta by Kit Marlowe, and it has a bit where the three (cartoonishly evil) Jews compare notes on all the well-poisoning and suchlike they’d done that day, and as a Jew who never quite gets his act together, it occurred to me that if I were the third Jew I’d just be apologizing for having failed to poison a well… And suddenly I had the opening of a book. It would be called William the Antichrist. And it would begin with three Demons in a graveyard… (x).
“When we finished the book we estimated that the words were 60% Terry’s and 40% mine, and the plot, such as it was, was entirely ours.” -Neil Gaiman
"Neil and I had known each other since early 1985. Doing it was our idea, not a publisher's deal." "I think this is an honest account of the process of writing Good Omens. It was fairly easy to keep track of because of the way we sent discs to one another, and because I was Keeper of the Official Master Copy I can say that I wrote a bit over two thirds of Good Omens. However, we were on the phone to each other every day, at least once. If you have an idea during a brainstorming session with another guy, whose idea is it? One guy goes and writes 2,000 words after thirty minutes on the phone, what exactly is the process that's happening? I did most of the physical writing because: 1) I had to. Neil had to keep Sandman going -- I could take time off from the DW; 2) One person has to be overall editor, and do all the stitching and filling and slicing and, as I've said before, it was me by agreement -- if it had been a graphic novel, it would have been Neil taking the chair for exactly the same reasons it was me for a novel; 3) I'm a selfish bastard and tried to write ahead to get to the good bits before Neil. Initially, I did most of Adam and the Them and Neil did most of the Four Horsemen, and everything else kind of got done by whoever -- by the end, large sections were being done by a composite creature called Terryandneil, whoever was actually hitting the keys. By agreement, I am allowed to say that Agnes Nutter, her life and death, was completely and utterly mine. And Neil proudly claims responsibility for the maggots. Neil's had a major influence on the opening scenes, me on the ending. In the end, it was this book done by two guys, who shared the money equally and did it for fun and wouldn't do it again for a big clock." "Yes, the maggot reversal was by me, with a gun to Neil's head (although he understood the reasons, it's just that he likes maggots). There couldn't be blood on Adam's hands, even blood spilled by third parties. No-one should die because he was alive." -("Terry Pratchett : His World”)
(Here are some slides of mine where I go into some other details concerning the origins of Good Omens).
Another wonderful insight with Rob Wilkins in "The Worlds of Terry Pratchett".
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*Quote: from Terry Pratchett A Life With Footnotes by Rob Wilkins, but said by Terry of course.
** All the quotes, facts listed here : see above.
***all other quotes by Neil Gaiman from various interviews and asks I’ll link.
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parfaitblogs · 4 months ago
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(totally not based on my day) but a simple request for spencer helping reader out with a bunch of chores bc she's overwhelmed with life and she decides to thank him with like the quote "best head of his life" and he's like "its okay you dont have to do that" and she's responds "but i am anyways"
it will come back ❀ s. reid x reader
in which spencer reid helps you when you're (very) overwhelmed, and you might need to return the favour.  pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: comfort & smut (18+ mdni) tags: oral (m receiving). praise. established relationship. reader's overwhelmed overstimulated overworked... very enthusiastic head giver!reader. use of honey and angel. they love each other a lot. i love them a lot. i don’t think there’s d/s dynamics but if there are it’s soft dom spencer (nobody’s shocked). word count: 3.1k a/n: thank u sooo much for reading my brain ily i need to give spencer reid head asap. new format/layout for requests sort of its the same as my normal post layout... do we like... i sure freaking hope so. as always lmk if u liked this or even if u didn't but preferably if u did!!
You were exhausted. For three weeks straight, you had been working nonstop, with a wondrous total of eight hours in between shifts. You were hardly sleeping, you had hardly had a social life, hell, you never even had time to enjoy the simple pleasures of an everything shower. You felt groggy, and cramped, and everyday felt like an awful repeat of the last. A nightmare that never ended. 
Never mind the fact that you hadn't seen your boyfriend.
Always home too late to be with him in the evenings, and up too early to get coffee with him before your days started. Spencer was so patient with you, regardless. He knew it would end eventually, and he would get his girlfriend back. It was just for the month, was what you would text each other whenever the other began feeling particularly lonely. He didn't even like texting, but the time for a simple phone call wasn't available to you anymore. 
And your apartment. Every time you stepped into it you swore a new dirty dish materialised in your sink, or a new pile of clothes sat themselves in your bedroom floor. Which was odd, because you had rotated between the same two outfits for the last eighteen days — your work uniform, or your pyjamas. 
You were overwhelmed with it all. Even as your hectic work life came to an end, and you were waking up to the sunlight pouring into your room, instead of an alarm clock while the moon was still up. You were acutely aware of the mess of your apartment, and just the thought of it all left you lying motionless in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. 
Tears stung your vision as you felt the seconds tick into minutes, and nothing happened. Attempting to will yourself to get up, and yet you simply couldn't. Exhausted beyond belief, with limbs sinking into the mattress and melding to the sheets. 
You faintly heard the click of your front door lock, and if you had any more motivation in you, you'd probably get up to double check it was the only other person who had a key to your apartment, and not a burglar. Thankfully, you didn't have to, for Spencer was calling out your name, gently.
Too exhausted to even reply and alert him of where you were, you lay still until he had found you in your bedroom, his bad dropping by the doorway, feet shuffling against the rug. 
"Good afternoon," he said, finding a seat on the edge of your bed, hand resting atop your thigh, gentle circles being rubbed into the skin. 
"Is it already afternoon?" you asked him, voice quiet. 
"Yeah. How long have you been awake in bed?" 
"I don't know," you answered, voice awfully small as you felt the thick weight of frustration with yourself blanket over you. "I need to get up. The apartment's a mess."
"It's allowed to be," he said. "You've been doing sixteen hour days."
"Yeah, but I'm not today. I have the day off."
"Your first day off in weeks. I'd be concerned if you'd spent it productively."
You stared at him, unsure if the irritation that settled in your bones was because of his insistence that you not doing a thing was okay, or your exhaustion. Logically, it would be the latter. You did know that, deep down. 
Upon seeing your eyes delve into something a little more desperate, he sighed, hand sliding up to your own, gently tugging you up into a seated position. His eyebrows knitted together at your exhausted look, and you could see his brain ticking behind his eyes.
"Do you want to split the tasks?" he finally asked.
"You don't have to," you shrugged your shoulders. "It's my mess."
"Honey, you're already overwhelmed, and all you've done is wake up," he answered, thumb drawing circles on the top of your hand that he still seemed to have clasped within his own. "Let me help."
"It's really gross."
"I've seen mutilated dead bodies."
"I'd argue my kitchen sink is worse."
"Oh would you?" his eyebrows shot up, lips twitching in amusement, that you found solace in, distracting you slightly from your overstimulated mind. "Do you want to have a shower?"
"Yes," you nodded your head, brain ticking over all the personal hygiene tasks you had been neglecting over the past few weeks. 
"How about you go shower, I'll start cleaning up, and you come join me when you're feeling better?"
Despite your aversion to anybody but yourself tackling the mess of your apartment, you knew better than to deny Spencer any further — he had set his mind on helping you. 
Sighing, you nodded your head in defeat. He had coaxed you up off the bed, gotten you to the bathroom, even found you a fresh set of clothes to wear, and waited with you for the water to warm up. It was really only once he was absolutely sure you had gotten into the shower, did he leave you be, and disappeared from the bathroom. 
Eventually, the apartment had been cleaned, with efforts from the both of you getting it to where it now was. 
You were a lot less exhausted, and your brain was a lot less fried now that you didn't have a million tasks catalogued within it to get done. 
You were lying in your freshly made bed — courtesy of Spencer. Your head on his chest, fidgeting with one of his hands as he used the other to wave around as he rambled about something you were no longer following. It had started as a simple explanation for why you had been so overwhelmed in the first place. Which you had asked as a rhetoric, but didn't have the heart to stop him when he began explaining. 
"You're not listening, are you?" he asked, free hand poking your side and emitting an involuntary laugh from you at the feeling. 
"I am, I am! I'm just not following anymore."
"Sorry."
"It's okay," you replied, turning and poking your head up to be level with his. "I like hearing you speak, anyways. Doesn't matter if I don't understand."
He only hummed as a response, and the two of you stared at each other for a beat, before you were breaking out into a smile. 
"Hi," you chirped. 
"Hello," he answered, perhaps a little too amused by your sudden energy. "Would you like something?"
"A kiss?"
"After all that labour I just put in for you?" he mused, but he was already lifting his head to brush his lips against yours, and was most certainly not pulling away when you eagerly connected them properly. 
You pulled back after a few moments, searching his face. "Do you want something for all that labour?"
His hand trailed up your spine, fingertips triggering a shiver to run up your back. "What do you have in mind?"
"I could give you the best head of your life."
He was clearly not expecting that as an offer, perhaps because you never had offered such a thing before. It wasn't even something you had talked about, which was bizarre (in your mind), considering he was quite enthusiastic about using his mouth on you. 
"You don't need to do that," he shook his head, but with how close your faces were, you could see the instant dilation in his pupils. 
"What if I want to?" 
"Then that's very nice of you, but my point still stands," he replied.
"Spencer, let me do something in return," your voice was nothing short of a whine, and if he was any less turned on, maybe it wouldn't have made his firm footed denial falter. Maybe you knew that.
"You could do anything but that."
"So a handjob?"
"Or that."
"You're such an awful liar," you huffed. "I can see your pupils dilating. I know you're turned on by the thought of it."
"It could just be because I'm looking at you," he answered, voice hoarse, no doubt from the arousal he was attempting to deny was there. "Romantic attraction triggers the same response in our hormones."
"But it's not."
He fell silent for a few moments, before he allowed his resolve to slip, shaking his head in agreement with you. "No. It's not."
"See! It's okay if you want it. I'm quite literally offering myself to you," you spouted. 
His eyes fluttered shut, and he exhaled through his nose, words coming out through almost gritted teeth. "That's not a sentence you should be saying."
"Why not?"
His only response was to say your name chidingly, and when he reopened his eyes, he was met with the shit-eating grin on your face. 
"Brat," he mumbled, lips seeking yours once again.
"Who gives really good head," you hummed against his mouth. "And would really love to show you."
"If you're insisting—"
"Which I am," you quickly interjected, staring back at him as yet another amused smile stretched across his lips. Then, he was nodding his head, and you were quite cheerfully kissing him all over again.
It wasn't that you kissed him with much fever at all — in fact, you were melting into his lips with a gentle hum. It was simply that he was kissing you back with a desperation you should be accustomed to. You weren't. 
Every kiss you received from him always felt like he was chipping away at your soul, claiming a piece of it. Maybe he was.
You mewled when his teeth nipped at your lower lip, and he was quick to take the opportunity of slipping his tongue into your mouth. Though, alerted by his sudden control over the situation between you two, you reluctantly pulled your face away from his before it could go much further. 
"Excuse me," he breathed out, scoldingly, only to be met with your hundredth grin of the day as you descended down his body. He'd take it — you smiling, albeit cockily, was much more rewarding than the concerned look you had been sporting for the majority of the afternoon. 
"I don't do this very often," you told him as you lifted your gaze to his, absentmindedly tugging his pants down his legs. 
"I hope not. You've never done it for me, and we've been together for quite a while."
"You know what I mean," you grumbled, and he was forced to poke his tongue into the inside of his cheek to keep the smile off his face. 
"Is this comfortable for you?" he then asked, having noticed your constant adjustments of your positioning between his legs. From nerves or comfortability, he didn't know. 
"Um. I guess so," you replied. "I've never done it lying down."
"We can do it however you prefer to do it, angel."
"Oh. Okay. Cool," you mumbled, sitting up straight and grabbing his hands within your own, tugging him over towards the edge of the bed. 
You sank to your knees on the rug, tapping his knees with your hands to part them so you could situate yourself comfortably between them. 
You were a vision if he'd ever seen one, and you weren't even doing anything. Perhaps you had noticed the effect you had on him, or maybe you were just largely enthusiastic about doing something for him, and only him. 
Your tongue darted out to lick your lips, eyes flickering up to meet his face, and if this was the last sight he saw before he died, he would have no complaints. 
"Have you ever gotten head before?" you mumbled, eyes fixated on him as your hands trailed up the sides of his thighs, resting at the waistband of his boxers. 
"Yes."
"Okay," you whispered, quietly, tapping his hips so he could lift them, and you rolled his boxers down his skin.
"Okay?" he parroted. 
"Okay," you confirmed with a nod of your head. "I just wanted to know if this is going to be completely new for you or not."
As you spoke, your fingertips dragged along his inner thighs, lips following soon after, kissing up the skin. 
"I don't think that's going to matter, honey," he answered, voice breathless. 
You smiled, not needing to ask what he meant. You lifted your head back up, studying his face. He gave you a nod, a silent confirmation to allow you to go further, and you took a beat to compose yourself. It's not like he would be mad at you if it sucked, but you had had a far too awful day to not do something good. 
You hadn't done this in a while, it was true. So your hesitance came more from your brain figuring out what it actually needed to do, than your insecurities (they were there too). 
Insecurities that melted away within an instant, for Spencer's thighs tensed beneath your hands that were now holding them apart the second your lips made contact with his cock, and through your lashes you could see his head tipping back. 
Your cheeks warmed at how easy it was to get him to respond, and you wondered if the satisfaction settled in your chest was anything similar to how he felt when he did this to you. 
You started hesitant. Gentle kitten licks at his tip that probably shouldn't have been garnering such a large reaction from him. But it was, and you had to preoccupy your mouth to keep the smug smile off of it. 
Wrapping your lips around the head, he lets out the breathiest moan you think you've ever heard come from him, and your mind goes hazy. Newfound blind confidence wills you to take more of him in your mouth, and it's a quiet 'Fuck' that compels you even further. 
In hindsight, he knew he'd enjoy it. It was you after all. He knew from the world shattering arousal that the simple sight of you on your knees was. He had, in a few short seconds, mentally prepared to enjoy this.
But not this much, and certainly not this quickly. 
"I've been too selfless," he muttered as you lifted your head back up, tongue licking a stripe up the underside of him as you did. When you met his gaze in question, he added, "I mean never asking you for this. I should've."
You hummed as a response (it was all you really could do), and the gentle vibrations shot heat throughout his body. A shuddering moan rocked through his body, and if not for your quick response time in pushing his hips down, they would've knocked against your face when he bucked them up.
You hollowed your cheeks, lowering your head back down, and emitting the loveliest of moans from Spencer, whose hand found its way to your hair. Upon the lack of your protests, he made a loose ponytail with his fist, gently tugging on it upwards so you could lift your head. 
You flattened your tongue on your ascend, successfully making his already weak grip on your hair go slack, within only seconds of him having grabbed it. Swirling your tongue around the tip of his cock, his hips bucked up again, and you flinched. 
"Jesus—fuck, sorry, honey," he rasped, though his guilt was quick to dissipate as he saw your thumbs up against his thigh. Your movements weren't hesitant, anymore. Just slow. Tortuously slow. "Can I..." he trailed off, seemingly becoming unsure of what it was he was asking of you within seconds, but the retightening of his hand in your hair gave you all you needed to know. 
You nodded your head the best you could, and he mumbled a quiet 'thank you', allowing you to set a base pace, before taking over. 
"So good. Jesus Christ, angel. Where did you learn this? Don't answer that. Don't tell me. Shit." 
His rambling was sharp sentences, that didn't really sound like they belonged together, and certainly didn't sound like they should be coming out of his mouth. They weren't the most articulately structured phrases he's ever come up with. A thought that comforted you, because you were doing that to him. 
"Fuck," he breathed out, once more, and you came to the mental conclusion you've never heard him swear so much in his life. The thought made your stomach flip.
Fingers dug into your scalp, though not too harshly to hurt. In fact, you were letting out a quiet moan of your own at the feeling, hips wiggling. Even in his state, Spencer noticed, and he smiled.
"You—ah—okay, angel?" he asked you, and you relished in the fact that he couldn't get out sentences without moaning. 
Your response was yet another hum, and he was bucking his hips. Again.
You knew he was close for a multitude of reasons; the fact that he had quickened his gentle-turned-firm guidance of your head, his fingers tugging on your hair a little harsher than before, and the ever so lovely, "Jesus Christ—please—oh," leaving his lips, breathlessly.
It was a few more moments of that, before the fingers in your hair went impossibly tight, and the muscles in his thighs locked beneath your hands. 
The fact you had never discussed doing this, meant neither of you knew the other's stance on what to do. Thankfully, Spencer was rendered so frenzied that he couldn't do anything. 
It was a sickeningly lovely sight; you pulling back and swallowing, some of his come painting your bottom lip. His fingers twitched, before they dropped back to the mattress on either side of his body, his chest heaving just as much as your own. 
Lightheaded, you slowly brought yourself back up to your feet, and Spencer's arms were quick to wrap around the backs of your thighs, pulling you into him. 
"Best head of your life?" you asked, lowering your lips to brush against his. 
"By a mile," he replied. 
"Just one mile?" 
"Maybe two."
Shooting him a glare, you huffed, and he laughed. "You're never getting head again, then."
He nipped your lower lip. "Okay."
"I'm putting my foot down," you retorted, disliking his lack of belief in your words. "Never again."
"I believe that."
"You should."
"Oh, I do," he hummed, sarcasm in his words making you frown. "Are your knees okay?" 
If his goal was to distract you, he succeeded, for your eyes were instantly dropping to your knees, indents from the threads of the rug evident. 
"They're okay," you confirmed, squirming as his thumbs rubbed circles into the skin on your thighs. 
"Tell me if they're not," he instructed, and you nodded. He stood up, hands sliding up to your waist. "Shower?"
"Shower," you confirmed with a nod, despite the fact that you had showered only a few hours prior. "Can we watch a movie after?"
"Yes."
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mywritersmind · 3 months ago
Text
ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR - LN4
↳ pt.1
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summary : Its the vacation of your dreams! With your best friends, rich men, live music, and flowing drinks, nothing can ruin it. Even if a certain Formula 1 driver (who seems to have an affinity for annoying you) is there every step of the sandy way.
listen up : suggestive themes! swearing! ‘enemies’ to lovers. probably my last sunny vacation fic for a while! get ready for winter fics!! cmt to be tagged in pt. 2 <3
word count : 4570
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Y/n!” Kika throws a pillow onto me. I groan in response, pulling the blanket over my head, “Get up! Get up! We’re leaving in thirty!”
I fall off the bed and start my rushed process of getting ready, we’re in Marmaris, Turkey for a little holiday. A holiday that I've been promised is for friends, yet every friend I have is with a man.
Kika, Alex, Rebecca, and Lily promised they would act like single ladies with me! That’s clearly not true because of the love they have for their boyfriends and how those same men never leave their sides.
The only other addition is someone I don’t want to talk about. Someone who’s a pain in my ass and the construction to my headache.
I’m instantly in a better mood when my friends and I start taking photos and making tik toks. I’m in a light blue dress and sandals, my skin is practically yearning to be tan but that will start tomorrow.
I have my own hotel room which I intend to spend no time in unless I'm hooking up with a hot turkish man. Lily holds my hand as we start walking. The guys said they would meet us there and I’ll never not treasure time with my girls.
The sun has already set but the sky is still a dark blue and orange. Lily squeals next to me, she’s in the cutest white mini dress, “I can’t believe we’re here!”
Kika laughs in a long yellow dress, “The trip literally made it out of the group chat!”
I eye them, “More like it was infiltrated by another groups chat!” Alex laughs and puts her hand on my arm.
“I promise it’ll be fun. I know you’re a little sad but we’ll find you someone!”
“It’s not even that- I just want to be with you guys.” They all seem a bit sad about it. It’s not like I don’t like their boyfriends, I consider them my friends too! It’s just that I was really looking forward to some much needed girl time.
“You are with us!” Alexandra frowns.
Lily swings are hands, “You’re with us and five other idiots who have money!”
This makes me laugh as we make it to the restaurant. It’s beautiful, part of the hotel, and looking right over the water.
The guys are already sitting. Charles, Pierre, Alex, Carlos all smile at me, kissing their girls as we sit. There is one missing, though. It’s hard to ignore but I'm definitely not complaining.
Drinks are ordered and our thoughts about the hotel is passed around. I became friends with this group through Lily, we grew up together and when Alex suggested I should come to a grand prix, I was hooked.
The other girls took to me immediately and were so excited to have another friend that they actually like. I don’t travel as much as them, but I do see them often enough.
We haven’t gotten together in a group like this though in forever!
I sip on my cocktail and talk to Carlos as his eyes stray past me. I turn to look at what he’s distracted by and have to fight the urge to roll my eyes.
You know those people who just really piss you off? The type that just irks you even though you’ve tried to hear your friends out?
That is how I feel about Lando Norris.
He strolls up to our table as if he isn’t late. He’s in blue jeans and a white button down that’s definitely not buttoned enough. His hair is messy and looks like he just woke up, “Hey.” Is all he says before plopping down next to Carlos and sipping his water.
Rebecca already sends me a look that screams, ‘Leave it.’ So I do, I order my food and talk to my friends while avoiding the man two seats down from me.
It’s not just that Lando bugs me, It’s that he’s repeatedly cocky and flat out annoying. He teases me any chance he gets and it never fails to ruin my day. He knows it too.
“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Pierre asks as he puts his arm around Kikas chair, everyone’s food is nearly gone and I'm more than ready to climb into my plushy hotel bed.
Alex holds Lily’s hand, “Beach, explore, eat? That’s also my plan for every day of our trip.”
Charles nods, “My buddy has a boat out here that he said we can borrow one day.”
I smile and lean my head on Kika’s shoulder, “I'll be anywhere you guys go, with a book and an apple.”
“You still into that?” His voice already pisses me off. I look at Lando who’s staring at me, “Reading.”
I blink. “Are you still into being illiterate?”
Charles covers his laugh with a cough as Alexandra shakes her head, “Hey! You two need to keep it civil this trip.”
Carlos eyes Lando pointedly as he groans, “Why? I didn’t even do anything! The witch said I was illiterate!”
I sit up straighter immediately, leaning over Carlos as my friends talk in a haze around me, “You really wanna see a witch, Norris, I’ll fucking show you!”
“The worst thing you could do to me is throw sand in my face!” I groan as he rolls his eyes and Kika pulls me back into my seat.
“This is what we’re talking about!” When she whispers is when I realize the people dining around us are staring.
“It’s one week!” Pierre shakes his head, “One week of peace!”
I don’t dare look at Lando, my arms crossed.
He gives in peace, “I won’t start anything if she won’t.”
“Perfect, I'll have a great trip of silence.” Fine by me. I can ignore him for a week, easy.
Lily and Rebecca exchange looks as Lando speaks again, “It’ll be nice not hearing your-” Carlos slaps his arm and he shuts up.
I sigh in my seat, this is going to be an interesting week.
⋆༺
I start off my first full day with breakfast. I’m up early and decided to make the most of it by enjoying my food with a beach view.
I grin when I see that there’s two pieces of bacon left, grabbing them swiftly and plopping it onto my plate just when someone goes to reach for it.
I look up to see Lando. He’s sweaty and in running clothes, looking at me annoyed per usual, “Seriously? Who takes the last two pieces?”
I raise a brow, “Me. You literally just saw me do it.”
He gives me a bored expression, “Didn’t you ever get taught manners?”
“I got taught how to get what I want.” I bite into the piece of bacon just to watch him flinch. “Weren’t you taught that it’s not nice to be insufferable?”
“Can’t you share? It’s one piece.” I take another bite, pretending to think.
“Hm… No!”
“We’re supposed to be civil. Friends even!” He steps closer, “I know you would give the piece to Lily.”
“You’re too greedy.” I finish the first piece of bacon and start to walk away. He scoffs and follows me.
“Me!? Greedy?” He scoffs, plate still in hand. I eye it, it’s mostly empty except for a nutella crepe, “You know what- never mind.”
I nod, “Great job being civil, Norris. I’m so proud of you and you for giving up.”
He does not find this funny, “I can’t stand you.”
“Then sit.” His eyes narrow at my words.
“Fuck it, Free will!” and with that, he grabs the piece of bacon off my plate and runs!
“Norris!” I yell after him but when he turns, he’s smiling with a mouth full of bacon. “Dickhead.” I mumble to myself and continue getting my food.
⋆༺
I’m warm, I'm tipsy, and I'm listening to live music. I don’t think life could get any better. I sit up on my beachside chair, lifting my sunglasses to see Lily, Alex, Charles, and Alexandra playing chicken in the water.
Kika stirs next to me, she was asleep on her stomach but slowly sits up when she hears our friends laughing.
I watch Lando and Pierre floating and Carlos swimming towards them. Rebecca went to get drinks so that just leaves Kika and I.
“How’s the whole ‘civil’ thing going?” She’s in an orange bikini that makes her look unfairly tan.
I shrug, “Bad? I just can’t imagine talking to him normally. We always fight.” I sip my drink, the glass coats my hand in condensation but it cools me down.
“Maybe you should just fuck.” I choke on my drink. She doesn’t even attempt to hide her laugh, “Sorry, Sorry!”
“Kika!” I slow my breathing, “Why would you say that!?”
“It makes sense! You’ve got a lot of pent up energy… I’m just saying!” I shake my head, pulling my sunglasses back on and laying down again. “I know you’re attracted to him.”
I pray that she thinks my cheeks are red from the sun, and not from her words. “I am not.”
“You can't lie to me!” She laughs, “It’s not a bad thing, Y/n. You both just need to shut up for two seconds and get eachother shirtless.” Lily walks up right as she says that.
She plops down onto the sand, “Whatever this is about- I agree!”
“She’s trying to get me to- Nope! I’m not even going to say it!” I can’t have that manifestation in my life.
“I think she should hook up with Lando.”
“Completely agree. Just make it quick.”
“If he’s with her, he’s gonna be quick.” Kika jokes and I actually laugh at that one.
“Okay enough! I’m not taking any advice from you two!” I stand, pulling my hair tie out of my hair and starting down the beach.
“Think about it!” Lily yells as I flip her off.
Now all I can think about is hooking up with him. I mean, I hate the dude, but I’m not blind.
Lando is fucking fit. But it’s hard for me to see past his assholeness. So the probability that i’m going to fuck him, is slim. Very slim. Like ZERO.
Just as I'm off in my Lando Norris shirtless world, a shirtless Lando Norris walks up to me. He’s exiting the ocean, pushing his wet curls back as he laughs with Carlos.
I look away as soon as I get a glimpse of his torso. The cool water feels great on my legs as I walk in the ocean. I sink down and dunk my head, opening my eyes underwater, I see the tiny fish and shells.
I reach down and grab a handful of sand, when I get air again, Carlos and Lando are next to me. I push the sand off my hand to reveal some shells and a tiny crab, “Aw!” I smile at it, showing it to the boys.
Carlos raises his brows, “Looks harmful.”
“Harmful?” I glance at him, “He’s a baby!” I hold it closer to him and he backs away like it’s going to jump on him.
I turn to Lando and do the same, he backs away as well, “Pussy.” I say it to his face and he clearly takes it as a challenge.
He holds his hand out and snatches the crab right from my hand, “Are you just a thief by nature?”
He gives me a look before bringing his hand closer to his face to examine the sea creature. I step closer to see it, “It’s adorable.”
“It’s a crab.”
“Thank you, Norris, for your insightful words of wisdom.” I go to take it back from him but he jumps and throws his hand down.
I let out a huge laugh when I realized it’s holding onto his thumb, “Shit! Ow!”
I keep laughing as Lando panics, swinging his hand around to try to get it off. Carlos is long gone by now, not amused by his friends' antics.
The crab finally unclips itself from Lando and he looks like he was just betrayed. I grin, “Maybe I am a witch!”
He looks me up and down, holding his hand and thinking. “If you call me a bitch that crab won’t be the worst thing that hurts you today.”
And then something weird happens.
He smiles.
He just smiles and walks away.
⋆༺
LANDO
Marmaris is stunning. The water is clear and besides me getting bitten, I'm having a great time. We end up going into town to get lunch and I'm faced with the issue of Y/n’s ass in my face as we walk up what feels like a million stairs.
I really feel like she’s doing this on purpose but I could be thinking that to just make myself feel better about checking her out.
She’s in tiny low waisted jean shorts. I can see her bikini bottoms peeking out from the sides. Her top is a crocheted cover up so her sliver of a bathing suit is still on display.
Carlos pushes my back when I slow down on the steps, I turn around to swear at him but he’s giving me an all knowing look so I close my mouth.
After what feels like hours of staring at Y/n’s backside, we make it to the lunch place. It’s hidden quite far up and we all get cramped into the room with a huge window and a view of lemon trees.
With our stupidly coupled up group, I'm forced to sit with Y/n. She’s across from me, sipping on her water and leaning on the table with her arms crossed.
When she notices I'm staring at her, she glares at me. I can tell she’s about to say something snappy, but eyes our friends and shuts her mouth.
As much as she pissed me off, I find it fun to annoy her. I like the way her cheeks heat and how her lips press together, but I would never admit that to her.
“Did you go for a run this morning?” Carlos asks me while shoveling food into his mouth.
“Yeah and the gym- it’s nice.”
“And quiet?” I nod, knowing what he means. Five Formula 1 drivers on vacation together is pretty hard to miss. But besides a stare or two, no one has said anything to us.
Lily claps her hands together, “Who wants to go golfing with me on wed-”
Y/n groans, putting her head in her hands, “No!” Kika looks horrified at the suggestion as well.
“Yes!” Carlos and I say at the same time. Lily has been a great addition to our golfing group and by far the best out of the three of us.
Rebecca laughs, “I’m with Y/n on this one. I’m feeling… spa?” This immediately perks Y/n up.
“That sounds perfect!” Alex smiles, “Girls day! Minus Lily because she’s actually good at a sport.”
Charles eyes us all, “I wanna go to the spa. I hate golfing.”
⋆༺
YOU
When Rebecca suggested we take a cooking class, I thought it was a great idea! I’m not the best cook so why not learn something? I had a bad feeling as soon as we entered and the room was decorated with hearts.
“Welcome! Welcome!” A man ushers us in along with two other groups. The room is large with one wall completely open and facing the beach. “Everybody get a table and we shall begin!”
“I knew I missed something on the website…” Alex cringes as we stare at the tables set for two, “Sorry? Lando, careful with Y/n and knives!”
A couples cooking class!? You’ve got to be kidding. I look at Lando the same time he turns to me, “Well, love… Let me handle the sharp things. I value my life.”
This is going to be the longest hour ever.
“My lovely people in love!” The man is short, with gray hair and the biggest smile I've seen in a while, “My name is Ali and today we begin making the dough for Kemal Pasha!” Apparently the kind we’re making is sweet balls of dough with a very delicious sounding syrup.
I’m standing next to Lando who’s struggling with his apron. They have huge heart pockets and his is bright green. As fun as it is to see him struggle, I want to start cooking soon.
“Give me that.” I swat his hands away and step behind him, taking the pieces of fabric and tying a knot.
“Thank you, Sweetness.” I suspect that this teasing won’t end soon, considering the man teaching the class asked everyone what their names were and put a name tag on each table of the couples ‘ship’ name.
I tie it tight and he flinches, “Hey my girl is trying to kill me!” I roll my eyes and loosen the bow, listening to the man and thanking the woman who’s walking around to make sure everything is correct.
I pour in all the ingredients and Lando starts stirring. I look around at all the couples, they’re doing everything together while looking all lovey dovey.
It makes me miss my ex. Which is weird because we barely acted like this alone. But still, seeing Alex and Lily laugh with flour already on their faces makes me sad.
“Angel!” Lando calls for me again as I put my hand on my hip. He has his hand out that’s covered in white powder, “C’mere!”
“No!” I back up but he’s already pulling me in and squeezing my face. I frown, my face squished between his hand as he laughs. I can feel the flour covering my face. I put on a slow smile when he drops his hand, “Aw, love bug!”
Nothing about my tone is loving and I can tell he’s not excited by the way his face drops. “Now darling…” He backs away as I pour some of the flour from the container into my hand, “I told you i’ll let you lick food off of me later, not here!”
I scoff at his audacity and throw the flour right into his face. When he opens his eyes, I slap my hands over my mouth. His whole face is white and when he breathes out, some comes out of his mouth.
I hold back a laugh as he stares at me, along with the rest of the room, “Oh baby… you’ve got a little.” I motion to his whole face, “Just a little something right there.”
“Er…” The man blinks at us, “True love comes in many forms!” He laughs uncomfortably as we get back to mixing our dough.
“That was not a fair move, Love.” Lando whispers to me as I knead the dough between my hands. His face is wiped off but the flour still resides a bit in his hair and cheeks.
“All's fair in love and war.” I say sweetly.
“Alright ladies, If your man isn’t helping you with his big strong muscles…” Ali eyes us, “Remind them who you are! Men, help your women!”
I turn back at Lando, looking up at the driver, “Do you need reminding?”
He just bites his lip and turns me back around, his hands on my waist. That, I did not expect. My hands go back to the dough in the bowl and his arms move into view, copying the other couples and massaging the treat with me.
I swallow and eye the veins in his arms that go all the way to his hands. His very big hands. The same hands that softly reach over mine.
His touch is surprisingly gentle as he matches my movements. I try to not think about how close he is to me, and focus on the dough but fuck that because I can feel him behind me.
I move back a bit unconsciously and his hand goes to waist to stop me, “Do you need reminding?” His voice is deep in my ear and I fight the urge to roll my eyes even though I know my cheeks are hot.
I thank god when Ali says we will be moving onto rolling the dough into little balls.
I swiftly move away from Lando and don’t dare look at Alex or Kika who I know is looking at us. I start rolling the dough in between my hands.
Lando glances at me, his balls sort of uneven and too small, “Your balls are ugly.” Lando chokes on air and whips his head around to look at me.
“Excuse me?” I roll my eyes at his suggestive tone and show him one of mine, “Ah so you’re a ball expert? Working from experience?”
He’s so childish it makes me want to throw one of these at him. Sadly, I'm not above acting suggestively, “Never worked with any so small.” I shrug as he stares at me. That shuts him up really quick as we place them on a round baking sheet.
We take a short break while they bake and I venture outside, looking over the balcony to the sea far below us.
My skin feels rejuvenated by the sun, I’m tanner and I swear the air is just different here. Alex appears next to me, he looks quite happy, “Having fun?”
I shrug and realize that I actually have been. “Uh… yeah.”
“You know, I think everyone else thinks you’re a real couple. It’s cute.” I gape at him. Is Alexander Albon betraying me right now?
“It is not cute. He’s bullying me.” He just snorts.
“Sure…”
I frown when Ali calls us back in. Lando and I are mostly quiet while stirring our syrup. As it boils, he nudges me. I look up to see him watching another couple.
They’re practically making out and feeling eachother up. I let out a laugh that his eyes widened at, “You’re so not inconspicuous.” He whispers, leaning down a bit.
“They are definitely not paying any attention to me…” They’re so wrapped up in each other that they don’t even notice when Ali turns their mini stove top off so their sauce doesn’t burn.
He looks down at me one last time, sending me a tiny smile. I think it’s the first time I'm genuinely attracted to him when his shirt is still on. Shit.
⋆༺
LANDO
Besides Y/n trying to kill me with the dessert we made, we were civil throughout the rest of the class. We get to take home a small box which leaves everyone in a good mood.
“Here, pretty, I don’t think I can eat that without feeling sick.” I don’t mean to call her that, but I just say what comes to my mind. I hand her the box and takes it without any change of expression.
I’m ready to leave but Ali claps his hands together one more time, “My lovebirds!” Y/n gives me a look that I laugh at, “One more gift for a very special couple of… well, couples!”
He pulls out three pieces of paper. Handing one to the couple that was making out he says, “Most affectionate!”
Then he turns to Pierre and Kila and hands them one, “Best dessert!” I realize these papers are some typos of superlatives.
I think he’s going to go to Charles and Alexandra, but he turns to Y/n and I. A big grin on his face, he hands me a paper. I read it before he says it and my eyes widen, “The most authentic love!” I don’t look at her, I can’t.
“I hope one day you all come back!” And with that, we’re ushered back and stripped of our aprons.
Y/n is already walking down the marble steps with Lily and Rebecca next to her. Carlos just shakes his head and slaps his hand on my shoulder, “Man… Congratulations!”
I eye him as Alex laughs, “I’m framing that!”
⋆༺
YOU
Six hours later, i’m in a tiny white dress, my hair curled and makeup done, and on my way with Rebecca and Alex to a club.
Everyone’s already left but Alex took extra long to slick back her hair. “So!” Rebecca grins as we walk past the beach, “Plan for tonight? Hook up with a local? Make out on the beach?”
I laugh at her enthusiasm, “I’ll see where the night and vodka takes me! I really just need a hot dance partner and a good drink.”
And that’s exactly what I get. I get my drink and well.. many hot dance partners! My friends and I scream the lyrics of the songs we know, holding hands and jumping around.
The club is part of the resort we’re staying at. It’s half on the beach and half in the beach bar that has a 24 hour drink service. I laugh at the guys who are awkwardly waiting for their girls to join them again.
“Okay, go, go!” They leave me at the bar and as soon as they’re gone, a man approaches me.
He’s very tall and very blonde, “Hi.” he’s got an accent but I can’t tell from where, “I couldn’t help but notice you dancing…” I listen to the same line that a hundred guys have fed me before. “Could I buy you a drink?”
Now this is what I like! Ten minutes later I'm dancing with him and a vodka lemonade. His hands are on my waist as I laugh.
He’s hot against me, his hair sweaty and salty. His name is Leon and he really likes my dress. I have a feeling he would like me without it too.
“Are you staying at the hotel?” He asks, screaming in my ear.
I nod, “Are you?”
“I’m staying in town with a friend!” I nod and sip my drink as he talks, “Do you know him?” I frown at his words, turning to see who he’s talking about.
I roll my eyes at Lando who’s standing with a pretty girl but staring at me. I turn back to Leon, “No!”
He looks like this annoys him, “Well i’m not surprised! You’re hot!” I nod as the music continues and keep dancing with him.
He turns me around so he’s staring at my ass instead of my face. But I just slip my fingers into my hair and keep dancing. I open my eyes to see Lando again. The girl is still talking but he’s still staring at me.
I run my middle finger around the rim of my glass, the sugar lifting onto my skin. His expression stays dark and focused on me as his hand goes to his jeans pocket. I lift my finger to lips, licking off the sugar without breaking eye contact.
He brings his drink to his lips and that’s when I realize I've had a bit too much to drink because he looks too damn hot.
He’s in a light blue shirt, his silver rings and LN4 necklace sat on his skin like it belongs there. His hair is damp with I don’t know with what… sweat, water, or the air, I don’t care. His jaw ticks at Leon’s hand moves from my waist to my stomach, my head dropping back on his shoulder, and spinning back around.
He kisses me, it’s messy and drunken but I don’t care. It’s only when he whispers, “Let’s get out of here.” When I'm massively turned off.
I end up back with my friends, Lando nowhere in sight and a smile on my face as we sit at the bar and drink.
pt.2
729 notes · View notes
sturnsmadl · 5 months ago
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bf!matt headcannons!
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warnings!- swearing, angst (light ig), mostly fluff, some smut, not proof read, lover boy matt tbh, cuddling, kissing, idk what else :).
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bf!matt who loves holding hands.
bf!matt who is possessive at parties.
"who's that?"
"some drunk guy. thought i was his girl."
"right.."
kisses you
bf!matt who refuses to let you do anything.
"the laundry.."
"nuh uh. move."
bf!matt who ties your shoelaces for you.
"i can do it matt."
"so can i."
bf!matt who keeps his hands warm in your jeans back pocket.
bf!matt who loves physical touch.
bf!matt who always drags you on late night walks during fall.
"we went last nightt!!"
"babe. fall doesn't last forever."
bf!matt who wipe your tears and hugs you when your upset.
"shh..your okay.."
bf!matt who adores carrying you.
"matt i can walk."
"i knowww. but carrying you is fun."
bf!matt who gets you a cat.
"its for you!"
"is it..?"
"i mean...mainly me..but yeah.."
bf!matt who can't stop touching you.
"matt its too hot. let go."
"your too hot."
"fuck off matt."
laughs
bf!matt who isn't massive on PDA but will do small touches.
bf!matt who loves hooking up in his car.
"fuck...yes baby.."
"matt! yes..fuck! yes!"
bf!matt who gets hard from you just sitting in his lap.
bf!matt who is definite that you're the mother of his children.
"we all have that phase matt."
"its not a phase. she's gonna be the mother of my kids chris."
"okay buddy.."
bf!matt who buys you a lot of makeup.
bf!matt who loves giving you hugs and cuddling.
"hi baby."
"oh hi. your back early huh?"
"yep..cuddles?"
bf!matt who made you your own drawer in his room.
bf!matt who always wants to be helping you.
"okay..lets wash this hair. huh?"
"i can wash it.."
"your tired and i love you so im gonna help."
bf!matt who needs to be near you at all times.
"where'd you go?!"
"to the bathroom.."
"jesus..could've told me.."
"wha- yeah..okay. go to sleep."
bf!matt who sits outside the shower door while you shower.
"and i was thinking. what if i just taught you to drive?"
"do we need to talk about this while im showering?"
bf!matt who loves filming sex tapes, especially backshots.
bf!matt who is extremely moody when you're gone.
"matt can you take the-"
"fuck off!"
"jesus..the fuck happened to you.."
bf!matt who hates arguing but you clearly pushed too far.
"probably my other man."
"what...?"
"what? i was kidding..matt.."
bf!matt who gives you silent treatment all day.
"can we talk..matt? come on.."
bf!matt who just cooks for himself he's so mad.
"you made my favourite? oh.."
walks away with a plate for himself
"fucking hell.."
bf!matt who doesn't pay attention to your apologies.
bf!matt who shoves past you, not realising how strong he is.
bf!matt who feels horrible when he accidentally hurts you.
"ow.."
"oh shit.. sorry baby. im so sorry okay? you're okay.."
bf!matt who finds you crying and is immediatley there.
"hey..is it still hurting? im so sorry.."
"no..im pregnant.."
bf!matt who attacks you with a hug when he finds out your pregnant.
"what?! oh my..oh my god! yes yes yes!"
bf!matt who is obsessed with your bump.
"so cute. a whole life's in there.."
"yep..you excited?"
"so."
bf!matt who is extremely overprotective while your pregnant.
"no!!"
"jesus..what?!"
"i can load the dishwasher. you sit."
"you made it sound like i was commiting a crime.."
bf!matt who always texts you while he's filming/streaming.
"can you put your phone down for 2 minutes??"
"yeah one second.."
"you said that 5 minutes ago!"
bf!matt who lets you force him into doing a tiktok dance with him.
bf!matt who freaks out at the birth.
bf!matt who takes the drive home a bit too carefully.
"babe, i know your nervous but we are barely moving."
"im not hurting the baby. im doing 20.."
"thats the problem."
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a/n- this is just general bf matt unlike my others but yeah so this may push me back into my break because its absoulutely awful!! but im thinking of doing a halloween theme, doubt ill pull throught though! im so tired :)
taglist! @bellaonthelow @hrtsdollie @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @moonk1ss3d @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii @stvrlighht @asherrisrandom @amelia-sturniolo3 @lianomer
814 notes · View notes
oikarma · 13 days ago
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xoxo, gossip girl
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: you kind of popped into lando's life out of nowhere-and he loves it. but there's no such thing as being private when you're dating a formula one driver. sorry, did i say dating? i mean when you're friends.
a/n: yay first smau of the year and the second driver i'm writing for! i started watching gossip girl recently n i was inspired
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liked by alex_albon and 128,407 others
f1gossipofficial: mclaren's lando norris was spotted out and about in the big apple last night with a mystery girl!
view all 6,353 comments
user1: uh oh magui's going to be mad...
user2: ngl thought that was her at first user3: they got back together AGAIN?? user1: @/user3 someone posted a vid of them partying
user4: alex being messy in the likes LMAOOO
user5: aww did he give her his hoodie in p1
user6: such a gentleman 😍 user7: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT user8: girl be fr he's nothing compared to osc
user9: lando stick to one girl at a time will you
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yourinstagram has added to their stories
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replies:
hannahstjohn: i bet you're glad i convinced you to get dinner w me that day 👅
yourinstagram: oh shush i had to sit through two hours of you and liam gazing into each other's eyes. DISGUSTING. hannahstjohn: please. don't act like you even looked at anyone other than him
yourbff: regular dates now i see...
yourinstagram: we're just friends!!
lando: i learned for you 🥺
yourinstagram: liar lando: hello?? yourinstagram: you literally told me the other day you used to do your sister's hair lando: maybe i lied yourinstagram: well you definitely did at some point
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liked by hannahstjohn and 203,991 others
f1gossipofficial: we think it's getting serious with y/n l/n, daughter of NYC-based tech mogul y/d/n l/n, and lando norris. rumor has it that they met through liam lawson and his girlfriend hannah. despite the newly promoted red bull driver lacking friends across the grid, norris is probably grateful for the introduction 😉
y/n and lando were spotted at not one, not two, but SIX different locations across new york in the past week. above is a compilation of photos fans have taken of them dining out, shopping, and even going to the opera together.
view all 10,274 comments
user1: grocery shopping?? do they live together already??
user2: sleazy af if they do user3: maybe they wanted to cook something together its not that deep
user4: what a golddigger...
user5: how is she a gold digger user4: @/user5 did you not see how she dressed for the opera? probably his money she spent on that dress user6: the way people r so illiterate and yet so confident drive me crazy IT LITERALLY SAYS HER DAD IS A TECH MOGUL user7: i don't even know what a mogul is but it sounds rich user8: @/user6 right and if you just googled her dad you'd figure his sister was the one owns the brand she's wearing 💀
user9: the way he looks at her in p1 though
user10: wonder how long they've known each other 🤔
user11: hannah we see you
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lando has added to their stories
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replies:
user1: LANDO DID YOU POST ON THE WRONG ACC
oscarpiastri: mate
lando: 🥺 yes osc? oscarpiastri: lily says this is why you've been in NYC for so long lando: idk lily's always right oscarpiastri: you said it was for a brand deal! lando: maybe her dad wants to sponsor mclaren lando: actually forget about that i think he already does 💀 oscarpiastri: i don't like talking to you on instagram text me lando: what if i don't. lando: hello???
mclaren: so cute!
lando: HI ADMIN
maxverstappen: someone's been busy
yourinstagram: what happened to being private 😭 now they definitely think we're dating
lando: sorry i didn't know it was such a bad thing yourinstagram: at least my fake boyfriend is a lot of people's celebrity crush yourinstagram: can't be ruining my image
user2: LANDO ARE YOU STALKING THE #LANDOYN TAG ON TWITTER?? HOW DID YOU FIND THAT??
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liked by scuderiaferrari, redbullracing, and 1,913,500 others
f1: lovely seeing all of you at the o2 ❤️ we hope you enjoyed the livery reveals! one week until pre-season testing begins in bahrain.
view all 253,014 comments
user1: admin you know what you're doing with that pic of lando
user2: missing him and yn *liked by f1 user2: f1 a landoyn stan confirmed?
user3: eh liveries, great articles about max trying to get out of going
user4: alexandra the prettiest wag
user5: yn appearance when 😔 did anyone see how he looked around for her then stopped bcs he remembered she wasn't there
user6: I KNEW I WASN'T CRAZY
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yourinstagram has added to their stories
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replies:
lando: did me so dirty with that pic
yourinstagram: shh you look adorable lando: adorable AND pretty? you flatter me yourinstagram: don't get used to it
yourbff: "friends"
yourinstagram: but you're my best friend 😋 yourbff: cause he's more than a friend where is your media literacy
hannahstjohn: I SAW HIM CALLING YOU BACKSTAGE
yourinstagram: so did everyone else it seems hannahstjohn: whoever runs the f1 account loves wag appearances🤷‍♀️
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lando has added to their stories 🔁 yourinstagram's story
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replies:
oscarpiastri: are you sure you don't like her
oscarpiastri: sorry i meant are you sure you're not in love with each other lando: you know i think she might fancy me a little oscarpiastri: a little?? lando: im not sure how i feel about her though oscarpiastri: the cameras literally caught you blushing on call lando: ARE YOU SERIOUS oscarpiastri: yeah admin outed you oscarpiastri: they tagged you
user1: posted her on main again aww
yourinstagram: im not even complaining
lando: am i that charming yourinstagram: no i just look great in that photo yourinstagram: y/n l/n, absolute baddie who bagged what's his name norris lando: ☹️ yourinstagram: its okay your fangirls still love you
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liked by oscarpiastri, f1, and 330,217 others
mclaren: lando when y/n calls him (for legal reasons we can't repost that clip until f1 posts it but you know which one we're talking about 🤐)
tagged: lando
view all 57,341 comments
user1: admin you're so brave * liked by mclaren
f1: it's okay we won't rat you out
mclaren: thanks bestie!
user2: oscar crying in the club because his boyfriend is in love with someone else
user3: @/oscarpiastri would you like to comment user4: he's been crying since jan prob
lando: admin i am literally going to hunt you down
oscarpiastri: he follows the landoyn tag on twitter lando: @/oscarpiastri HELLO??? mclaren: he said it not me user5: they're so chaotic
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bahrain
you saw him get out of his car, landing evenly on the ground. you looked at oscar, who gave you a small nudge. "go on, he doesn't know it yet."
"what if he doesn't-"
"then he's a dickhead for leading you on." you liked his bluntness. it was a change from how polite he normally was. and it showed just how strongly he believed it.
you nodded, then strode forward. you could hear the cameras turning, but it didn't matter. lando had taken off his helmet, and his back was to you as he talked to his race engineer.
it was now or never. you gave him a small tap on the shoulder. he whirled around so fast you almost toppled backwards. realizing it was you, his hands shot out and wrapped around your waist. "y/n? oh my god."
you gave him a shy smile, wrapping your arms around him. "told you it was good."
he buried his face in your neck, embracing you so tight you didn't know if he was capable of letting go. eventually, he did.
"so what did you have to tell me?"
you blinked at him slowly. "try to guess."
his eyes widened, as if a hope had come into him. "you won't laugh?"
a shake of your head. "promise."
"then-" he bit his lip, looking down for a minute. "do you like me, like that?"
"what are we, in grade school?" you deadpanned. you saw his heart plummet, then wanted to take back your words. "yes, lando. yes, i came all this way just to see your stupid face. yes, i like you. like that. like i can't get your smile out of my head and i'll stay up until 5 just to watch you hold an award. like i'll respond to you any time, because talking to you is-"
he raised one of his hands ever so slightly so he could pull you closer, so close his lips were on yours and you were cut off mid-sentence. you'd been waiting for this since you'd met him, you realized. since you'd first seen that curly mop of hair at dinner with liam and hannah. since the first time he'd laughed and you realized you'd never heard a prettier sound.
"i like you like that too."
and the cameras caught all that, words and kiss and pictures and all, but it was different. this was something you wanted to remember.
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liked by yourinstagram and 1,504,891 others
lando: a great end to pre-season testing, all thanks to my lucky charm 🤍
tagged: yourinstagram
view all 94,102 comments
yourinstagram: me fr -> 🍀
yourinstagram: (get it. FOUR leaf clover) lando: i literally worship the ground you walk on lando: you're the reason i believe in fate yourinstagram: woah slow down there buddy user1: i'm so single its not okay user2: they're basically a married couple already
mclaren: your team in the garage rn like 🧍‍♀️🧍
lando: love you guys too! user3: @/mclaren f1 account alr posted kiss why have you not 😡 mclaren: @/user3 we're carefully selecting the cutest ones
hannahstjohn: lando norris and his "friend"
yourinstagram: IM STUPID OKAY hannahstjohn: can't believe it took you that long
user4: hes so happy 🥹
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liked by lando and 919,501 others
yourinstagram: by your side 🖤
view all 71,440 comments
tagged: lando
lando: baby where'd all your posts go ☹️
yourinstagram: oh i forgot to add you to my close friends lando: is that because we're more than just friends yourinstagram: no i just forgot user1: HELPP
user2: hottest WAG on the grid
oscarpiastri: i'm sure you'll take good care of him
yourinstagram: scout's honor 🫡
user3: okay her dress is so pretty though where's it from
yourinstagram: my aunt's brand! (brandname) <3 user3: @/yourinstagram OMG TYSM QUEEN
user4: she finally made her acc public AHH does this mean landoyn content
lewishamilton: lovely meeting you, y/n
yourinstagram: 🤩 you too lewis!!! lando: you're such a fan. yourinstagram: you're just jealous
993 notes · View notes
genderless-naper · 3 months ago
Text
give it your all
trafalgar law x bestfriend!reader
themes: modern college au, best friends, jealousy, confession, wall sex, slight body worship & cockwarming, no protection/pull out, female reader, 18+
after failing an exam, you confessed to law how jealous you were of his natural intelligence. in return, he accidentally reveals how much he wants you.
nsfw, smut, wc: 3k, lowercase intended!
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you walked into your room with frustration radiating off you. you just finished a midterm exam, but none of the topics you studied for was actually on the test. you spent countless hours studying to get a good grade only to be doomed to fail. law was sitting at your desk doing his work. you found him in the same place you left him.
you threw your bag on the floor and crossed your arms. it was enough to catch law’s attention. he continued his work as he spoke up, “did it go well?”
the annoyance you had built up from starting the exam to getting back to your room was let out all at once, “that professor is such an asshole!! i swear it’s like they’re trying to set us up for failure. nothing they mentioned on the study guide was on the exam. it was talking about topics we didn’t even review in class!”
law placed his pen down, and swirled the chair so he faced your agitated figure, “you’re probably overthinking it. i’m sure you did great. i helped you study a lot last night, and you had all the concepts down.”
you groaned, “you’re not listening. surely i failed that midterm. nothing mentioned in class was on it.”
you rubbed your arm and felt a bit jealous of the man sitting in front of you, “i wish i was naturally smart like you…”
law tried to help you feel better, “don’t say that. you have lots of things going on for you.”
“like what?? failing a midterm i stayed up all night studying for?”
he cleared his throat and put more thoughtfulness into his replies, “it’s just a midterm y/n-ya. don’t beat yourself up about it. also i was mentioning other things your good at.” law paused to think of some of your strengths and virtues, “you’re great with people and super outgoing. you have like every guys on campus wrapped around your finger, and you go on dates all the time.”
you rolled your eyes, “that doesn’t mean anything though. i care more about failing my classes than stupid boys.”
law shrugged, “well it’s not fair in my eyes. i wish i could do that.”
you tilted your head, “you can do that though law. you just need to go out and find people you like talking to.”
“i wasn’t referencing you. i was referencing them.”
confusion led you to ask, “what do you mean by that.”
law answered without thinking through his response at all, “those guys you go on dates with get to have that side of you, and they don’t even realize how lucky they are.”
you paused for a minute to take in what he said. it was an accidental confession that law had no intention of letting out. you held his eye contact in an attempt to find out if he was telling the truth.
after a stretched out silence he cleared his throat, “i didn’t mean to say that. forget about it.”
you raised your brow. how could you just forget about it?
“how about you elaborate on that instead?”
law turned his back to you, trying to focus on the previous work, hoping the situation would disappear on its own. you, on the other hand, wouldn’t let it go so easily.
you walked to his seated figure, and reached over to shut his laptop. you turned his chair back to face you then leaned down while holding the arm wrests. laws golden eyes gazed into your intensively as he tried to understand what your motive was at that moment.
“elaborate.” was all he heard. he found it hard to form a verbal response especially when you pressed him so hard about it. he didn’t quite know what to tell you that also wouldn’t affect the friendship you two have built.
so he didn’t say anything. he kept quiet. you leaned down dangerously close to him while holding his gaze. he sighed in defeat knowing there wasn’t a way to escape you at that point. he decided to speak, partially because he was also over hiding how he felt about you, “it’s not fair that they get to have your interest like that. i’m the one that sits with you every night before your exams to help you study. i’m the one who gets you to do your work when you don’t want to. yet they’re the one’s you’re always interested in. i’m honestly over it y/n.”
law gets up from the chair and packs his things back into his bag. it seemed pointless to stick around anymore. he figured he ruined things enough.
“where do you think you’re going?” you grab his packed bag to throw it back to its original place on the floor. the fact that he thought he could leave after dropping a bomb like that infuriated you, “you don’t just get to do whatever you want to. you’re staying.”
you knew the chances of him actually listening were slim. you were determined to make sure he didn’t leave, so you walk towards him until he’s backed up against the wall.
law started to become mildly irritated. he didn’t understand why you were doing all of this. if you wanted to shame him for what he said then why pull these antics? just as he was about to object against your actions you spoke instead, “why haven’t you ever made a move then?”
law rubbed his temples as he responded, “why does that matter? it’s not like you’re interested anyways. you’re always eyeing other people that aren’t me.”
you immediately dismissed his response, “has the thought ever occurred to you that i probably do that because of you? you’ve never once showed any sign of romantic interest. how could i go after you if i didn’t know you wanted me??”
law’s eyebrows turned knitted as he dissected your statement in his mind. he was certain his ears deceived him, “are you saying..?”
at that point an increase of agitation grew within you. you soon realized that now would be the best time to take action. the likelihood of an opportunity like this happening again are slim. before you could mentally decide your words beat you to it, “do you want me to show you what i mean? clearly it’s too difficult for you to understand with just words.”
the bold statement heightened your heart rate, and could’ve sworn that the tattooed man before you could hear it as well.
it’s always difficult read law’s thoughts on normal circumstances, but right now it was clear to you that he only wanted you.
he let his hands travel and place themselves on your waist. in one swift motion he substituted his position against the wall with yours. before you could realize it was now you who was pressed against the wall. law’s towering golden gaze was fixed on examining you as if you were a research project he was being graded on. you simply knew he was determined to get full marks.
“let me show you instead. i’ve had to keep myself in check for so long just for you.”
you smirked as you pulled his collar down so his face was leveled with yours to respond, “give it your all then trafalgar.”
your green light what the exact thing the man was looking for. although he liked you, more than he’d admit, he never thought about the dirty things he’d do to you. he always suspected it was unlikely to occur.
yet here he was desperate to pull your clothes off like a starving animal.
soon he discarded your garments leaving you exposed to his eyes. the only items obstructing his view were your bra and panties. still the man wasted no time admiring your body. you allowed his hands to roam, to feel, to touch any part he desired. the freedom bestowed upon him anxiously thrilled him.
“you’re so gorgeous y/n, i could stare at you all day long..”
his breath was caught as his eyes were lost in your beauty.
he was unaware of how long he spent just starring at you until he saw that you seemed to be at a state of unease.
he leaned down to press his yearning lips against your collarbone. it was a sweet kiss, but powerful enough to send shivers down your spine.
as he made his way to your shoulder you lean close to his ear to speak, “take everything off already, please law..”
“give me a second to take you in y/n.”
and that’s exactly what he did until your patience for him started to run thin. it felt like fire was erupting off your skin. he was tormenting you with every second he put off.
his hands glided up the natural curve of your spine, and effortlessly unhooked your bra. you let it slip and hit the floor soon, following with your panties, and kicking them to the side.
law’s inked hand made its way to the front of your figure to explore the new region on display. he held your breast with care as he leaned down to lick your bud. he dragged his tongue over and over your nipple feeling it harden from his repeated actions. you rested your head against the wall permitting shallow breaths to leave you. law’s gentle grip eventually turns into grasping motions that squeezed at your tissue. he made sure to give the same attention to the other side by switching back and fourth. moments when he pulls back to catch his breath he whispered how in awe he was of your every minute detail. the praises that fell from his mouth drove your desire for the man to increase making you more impatient by the second.
finally satisfied with your captivating body he put to work with discarding his own clothes. when pulling off his shirt his muscles, inked by tattoos, would naturally flex giving you a show that was irresistible to look away from.
he shared your eye contact as he raised his hand to his mouth to lick his middle and ring finger. he held them together as he sentenced them to please you between your thighs. he placed them above your clit, applying standard pressure, and began to massage in circular motions.
the sudden gasp from your lips indicated to him of the pleasure being received from his fingers.
law chuckled because of your sudden reaction, “i’m barely touching you and you’re acting like this. should i go a bit harder-“ law simultaneously applied the indicated pressure, “or should i go faster y/n?” the man increased his circular haste. asking for your decision meant nothing to him at that moment. it could’ve been considered more of a warning than a question.
you tried your best to not let your moans get the best of you, but it was difficult when your mind could only focus on how good the man’s fingers felt. you hadn’t noticed his member rising with anticipation ready to make you a moaning mess.
law adjusted his motions to reach back and fourth to your hole. realizing his licked figured would ultimately serve no purpose because the wetness you exhibited was far more useful. he used it to his advantage in order to prepare you for what was yet to come.
he spoke in a low tone, “are you ready y/n-ya? lets get to the real fun already.”
you nodded fast agreeing with him. you were unsure how much more torture of the clit you could take before your orgasm engulfed you.
law averted his attention on his own growing discomfort. the member in desperate need of relief appeared swollen at the tip, and veins carved out the sides of his length. law pulled away his fingers from your clit to hooked a singular arm under your leg and keep it lifted. he held the leg up exposing your wet core, and pressed you harder against the wall with his body. his length naturally pressed up against your core, and was barely consumed in your folds.
he shifted his hips back and fourth to drag his member along your heat. he aimed to cover himself in your slick, so entering wouldn’t be such a task, and he could focus on what truly mattered.
you on the other hand was being driven by heightened arousal. you wanted nothing more than to be fucked into oblivion. exasperated from the situation, you decide to take the initiative. you reach to his hard member and position it to your hole. you push yourself down enough to fit the tip in.
the size of his member stretched your entrance more than you expected. he questioned if you were okay only to which you managed a hum. you were too busy biting down your lip to form a proper reply.
he motioned that he would soon start, to which you nod your head giving him another green light.
he passed his member in and through your walls. he felt your walls naturally squeeze his member, and the warmth increasing the blaze on his skin. he watched as you shut your eyes and meekly groan due to the unfamiliar length.
he paused his movements to let you regain your composure. law removed fallen strands of hair and tucked them behind your ear before speaking up, “you’re gonna do great y/n-ya. i’m gonna start, is that okay?” the man waited for your approval, which you happily gave, and started to rock his hips slowly. surely he wanted to pick up his pace, but he wanted you to adjust as well.
law felt unsettlingly sexually attracted to you. the slow pace he set eventually caused him to curse himself out in his mind. he wanted to pound you right then and there, but he just had to be so considerate of you. he figured the best thing to distract his mind, and so he pressed his like against yours. it was the first time he ever kissed you. he never predicted your first kiss would happen after he was balls deep in you.
your lips shared warmth, and it caused your bodies to further align. every slow thrust drew you both into a deeper and more passionate kiss. you two were in a war zone and the kiss served as paradise.
the natural depth of the kiss blurred the lines of sense in law’s mind. without realizing he responded to his body’s natural sexual thirst by feverishly picking up the pace of his hips. you had to pull away to voice out your pleasure through moans. your eyes squeezed themselves shut. he saw the pain, but also the pleasure. his forehead rested on the wall next to your head, and he grunted in your ear like a dog chasing a high that felt so far away.
no more holding him back. he pushed every regressed emotion felt into his thrusts. they hit you harshly like the force of a tsunami. at that moment you fully realized just how much law was holding back just for the sake of the friendship, and how much he simply didn’t care anymore.
the constant sensation of his member grazing your walls edged you closer to your climax, “fuck law, you feel so fucking good~”
his name rolling off your tongue in moans made him feel cockier than he should’ve been. the man that once dreamt of you every night that week was finally getting what he wanted. he wasn’t going to let any moment fleet away from him.
his thrusts, now set at a monstrous pace, forced you to your orgasm faster than you’d anticipated. your nails dug into his skin, and you vocalized your pleasure through your moans. although it was clear you had reached your goal and had no more reason for the continuous pace, law had no intention of stopping. law growled into your ear, “why do you feel so fucking good y/n~?”
he didn’t miss a beat. that is until he climax snapped like a twig. his white substance launched into you, and filled you up leaving you warm from within. it took a while for you to the catch your breaths. the sweat caused by the shared experience made you both feel sticky. you spoke up once you felt like you were no longer desperate for oxygen, “are you gonna pull out..?”
law looked at you through half-lidded eyes. it was clear his orgasm exhausted him. his own words felt like they blurred together, “just forget about it for now…” he kept his member fully inserted in your warm heat.
he used the last of his efforts to pick up your other leg. he carried you to your bed, and you both collapsed onto it. not once did his member withdraw from within you.the natural exhaustion you felt led you to doze off instantly. law was on the verge of following you before he was taken out of his own conscious.
the sound of a notification popping on your phone alerted him. he reached over and grabbed the phone to read what it was.
your midterm grade results had came back. curious of your results, law input your password in to check the grade. he smiled at the green box holding the ‘93%’ in it. he was glad to know you would wake up with good news.
he put the phone back down and tiredly whispered to your sleeping figure, “i told you that you would do well…”
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