#and what they're telling us about her with every piece of information put together

[tlouwhore]

modern!ellie headcanons

notes/warnings: pet names used (baby), sfw, loser!ellie a little (i cant help it), no race specific information, androgynous reader

★ she has an insane mug collection thats so strange, when you go to hers for the first time its such a weird thing

"you want something to drink?"

"sure"

and you'll go back to messing with her stuff that she left sprawled across her coffee table until you hear her clomp over and extend her arm, she'll be holding an inconveniently built mug out to you casually

"els, what the fuck is that?"

she tilts her head and furrows her brow, confused at your comment as if its unreasonable to ask why shes handing you a horrifically constructed alien mug thats bound to spill all over you

★ speaking of these mugs, she refuses to get rid of *any* of them. when you guys move in together you're begging her to just get rid of one but she refuses

"els, please. we dont have enough shelves for these, we need normal drinking glasses."

you sigh as the mugs sit across the kitchen counter, shes on one side staring at them while youre on the other side staring at her.

"i cant, i use them all"

she doesn't. she drinks out of one and she only ever drinks water from it. you go back and forth for merely minutes before you throw in the towel and just let her do her thing, if shes happy you dgaf about the normal water glasses.

★ shes a loud ass walker, you will hear her before you see her. you genuinely start to think she's doing it on purpose.

★ she has one belt and its one wrong move from completing snapping in two pieces, there is a literal half inch of material holding it together

★ needs to pet street cats every time she sees them, whenever you point out that they're probably diseased she scoffs

★ tries to pretend shes good at fixing things but has no clue what shes doing—the toilet isnt flushing properly and so she stands about 3 feet from it and stares at it with her weight shifted to one side. she'll have on a tank top on and slacked down carhartt pants engulfing her legs as she nods. she really likes to take care of you so she'll refuse to admit she has no idea what shes doing and when you walk away she looks up "toilet not flushing reddit"

★ she fucks with the twilight franchise but pretends to hate it because it doesn't "look cool"

★ she cant drive, she failed her permit test 3 times and pretends like every other driver on the road is the problem (shes the issue every time)

★ she drives a beat up car or truck, it smells a little funny and the radio gets three stations so you have to rummage through her mass cd collection to find something to listen to. half the cds wont even be in their case but instead haphazardly chucked around her car in random spots. the only ones she keeps in order are your cds, which have a specific bag so you don't have to scurry about in her car to find them.

★ 3 pairs of socks and they all have holes in them, she'll complain that the floor is cold all the time

"god the floor is so cold in here"

"can you just put some socks on?"

"i'm wearing socks right now"

"oh really?"

and she'll point as her feet, half her toes are out and her heel is fully exposed. its about the same as just wearing no socks at some point. you'll just stare in disbelief for a moment before scoffing.

"what'd you do that for?"

that small crease between her brows finding its way to her face as it always does.

"you're barely wearing socks"

"oh whatever"

★ has to physically restrain herself from telling you the gift she bought you for any holiday or event, shes tweaking out and cant function until she gives it to you

★ she loves to just be in your presence, she'll observe your routines. she enjoys perching next to you as you get ready, no matter how short or long or a routine she will be by your side

★ she can cook a crazy burger but that's literally all she can make

★ shes a blushing mess for you but she loves to get cocky and pretend she isn't when texting you

★ needy and will message you thirst trap ass photos in an attempt to get you to leave work early and be with her (it works)

[sunsetkerr]

KISS & TELL | s.kerr

summary: the girls find out exactly who gave you that ring [789 words]

pairing: matildas!reader x sam kerr

notes: the long-awaited second part to 'hush hush'! this was the most voted wip to work on, next piece will be too far gone which was the second most popular xx happy valentines week loves!

IT WENT ON FOR about a week.

Your teammates pestered you all throughout camp about who gave you your engagement ring, and most importantly, how you kept it a secret for so long.

You gave them bits and pieces. Oh, we've been together for a few years now, but we've just kept it private..... She's super busy lots of the time, really hectic work schedule...... We played soccer together growing up.... You just didn't relay that you still play together. That your fiancee actually captains you.

Sam was enjoying every moment of it. She loved the secrecy, she adored watching her teammates pull their hair out over it. Chids had a whole shared notes app dedicated to adding information about your dubbed, 'mystery woman'. Sam revelled in her new title.

She was feeling extra cheeky, there was no denying that. Sam was at her peak watching everyone scramble around, listening as you slipped out little pieces of information of your relationship together.

Did you feel guilty that you hadn't told your team? Sure. But you and Sam never really felt the need to. They're your family, you love them with your whole heart- but this was one thing you and Sam just wanted for yourselves.

"Well I want to help plan your hens night," Alanna shrugged. The topic of your secret engagement had come up again after dinner one night.

"No because I'm not going unless you tell us!" Macca argued from her spot on the beanbag, Harper on her lap. You laughed, crossing your arms and putting your feet up on the couch.

"We can do without the numbers, Mac" You waved her off.

"Hey Y/N?" Ellie walked into the lounge area looking for you. "Can I grab my pre-wrap from you tonight please? I wanna start packing for Queensland,"

"Always punctual as usual" Mini chirped from her place on the couch, your feet resting in her lap.

"Shut up" Ellie quipped.

You chuckled, "Yeah, let me go grab it". You headed off towards your room and managed to pinch Sam's ass on your way past her, distracting her from the in-depth conversation she was having with Steph.

You chuckled as she tried her best to ignore you, but you knew she could never. Once you got into your room, it was only a matter of seconds before Sam followed you in. She crept up behind you and snaked her arms around your waist, tickling you as she squeezed you tight.

"You're cheeky, hey" She laughed, kissing your cheek as you giggled and tried to push your way out of her grasp. She moved her way down to your neck and you tried your best not to squirm in pleasure, knowing that at any second anyone could come-

"Aunny Sammy and Y/N are kissing!"

Your heart dropped and you pulled apart from Sam. You both turned around to see Harper standing in the doorway, pointing at you and Sam who she had just caught in the act.

"Mummy!" She ran off, yelling down the hallway.

"Harps, Harper! No!" You called after her, running down the hallway. She was surprisingly fast for a near-three year old. By the time you managed to find her she was already halfway through relaying to your team what she had seen.

"They kiss! Sam and Y/N kiss like Mum and Mummy!" She smiled looking back over to you. Sam had now come up behind you, a guilty look on her face, your lipgloss smeared on her lips.

"Skip.." Mary spoke up, slowly looking from you to Sam. "Is that true? Did you kiss Y/N?" She asked a shocked look on her face. The rest of your team looked at you both in silence.

Sam begrudenly crossed her arms over her chest and nodded her head shyly, a smile breaking out on her lips. "She just got engaged, Sam.. Not cool" Mary shook her head.

"Oh my god," Alanna erupted.

"Are you serious Maz?"

"Jesus fucking Christ" Mackenzie put her head in her hands with a sigh.

"What?" Mary held up her hands, looking from everyone back to you both. Sam chuckled and stepped forwards, holding up your hand that dawned your shiny new engagement ring.

You saw the cogs turn in her head before they finally clicked. "Oh my god!" She screamed, rushing over to congratulate you both. The girls all followed suit, shouting at you both for keeping it a secret from them all for so long.

"I can't believe you!" Alanna hugged you from behind, her arms around your neck.

"I don't kiss and tell, Kennedy!" You smiled as you watched Sam explain to your team how she proposed. You were so happy to finally have your team in on your secret. It just made it all that much sweeter.

[peachhcs]

it’s a forever kind of thing

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

while in san jose, samy and will realize they can’t stay away from each other and all it takes is a dinner out to get them back together

6k words

warnings: 18+!!, smut (but like halfway through), making out, hickeys, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected sex (she’s on the pill), please read at your own risk!

GUYS! it’s here!! the long awaited fic where samy and will get back together! instead of breaking it into two, i made it one long fic, so halfway through is when they have sex, so if you don’t wanna read that u can skip over it, but i decided to just put it all in one. this took me forever to write lowkey bc i never knew how to write it, but i like how this came out so i hope you guys too!! yay!! get excited for happy will and samy coming your way again!

au masterlist

the san jose heat wasn't a joke. any room in the apartment felt like it was 100° and it didn't help that they were trying to unpack boxes and build things in the high temperatures. samy was on the floor trying to figure out how to put together a shelf while also wiping the beads of sweat running down her forehead every five seconds. even the five different box fans scattered around the apartment didn't do anyone justice.

somewhere further in was will helping his mom put the bed together while grace did her best to hang frames in one of the hallways. the four of them were working hard, but the heat was quickly getting to everyone and what should've been a four hour job turned into almost six hours by now.

"what the fuck," samy mumbled to herself, eyes bouncing between the directions and the pieces of wood that definitely didn't fit together even though they were supposed to.

will should've recruited her brothers to fly over since they were way better at building things than she could ever be. whatever the directions were trying to tell her were not making any sense.

she was really tempted to call luke and bug him about it, but a different voice startled her a bit before she even pulled her phone out.

will's gaze stuck to hers where he stood in the doorway, "need help?"

samy met his eyes, flushing under his stare and sweaty figure, "uh..i mean..i think i'm doing it right but for some reason it doesn't look like it," she admitted truthfully.

will took that as his cue to crouch down. samy slid him the paper and let him read it over incase she was just missing something entirely.

"well i think the first problem is that these aren't the same pieces in the picture," the blonde determined, eyes gazing at the wood.

"i fucking knew it! i knew they didn't go together!" the girl exclaimed in triumph because she'd been feeling stupid about that for thirty minutes.

"i don't need shelves anyway. they're stupid," will shrugged some while disregarding the paper onto the floor.

"yeah, just make your own or some shit," they shared a small laugh which was happening a lot more frequently since they got there.

things were..rocky still, but it wasn't as bad. they even sat next to each other on the plane even though neither of them really spoke. it was progress and that was what mattered anyway.

"i can't believe it's so hot. i feel like i'm dying," will slid further onto the ground where he spread himself out against the hardwood.

"you better get used to it. it's supposed to get even hotter next week," samy informed, slipping to will that she may have been looking at the weather for san jose for him

"ugh, don't tell me that. i'm not made for the heat," he pushed his curls away from his sweaty forehead, but samy sort of found the movement just the tiniest bit attractive.

both of their hair was way more frizzier than usual because of the crazy heat, but something about it made the brunette a bit weak in the knees seeing will like that.

"did you get the bed together at least?" the girl wondered, leaning back against her palms.

"mostly, yeah. mom's doing the finishing touch. i had to walk out of there before she like exploded at me," the hockey player laughed and then samy did too. they knew how colleen got because she always wanted everything to be perfect.

"hey, one bed down. that's a win."

"yeah, sure. it's a win if you don't count my mom snapping at me every five seconds," will rolled his eyes.

"the heat makes people cranky. i don't blame her. you're kind of hard to work with sometimes," samy shrugged and will's head snapped up.

"what does that mean?"

"i dunno. whatever you want it to mean," she hummed earning a playful groan from the boy beside her. she managed a small smile, lifting her gaze to the rest of the apartment.

the four of them got most of it decorated and it was actually coming out really well. it screamed will and samy knew it was because almost all the ideas were taken from the pinterest board she made for this exact occasion.

most of the apartment was thanks to samy. colleen always said she had an eye for designing.

the girl's gaze landed on a picture frame stuck up on a shelf that did get put together and hung up. she stared at it for a moment, trying to figure out who was in the photo because she'd never seen it before. it wasn't until a minute later that she realized it was a picture of her and will.

they looked a bit young. 17 or so? samy was in her high school soccer uniform with a large medal hanging off her neck and will hanging off her side. they had big, bright smiles across their lips and both of them held the number 1 on the fingers for the photo. samy had no clue when or who took that photo, but it brought another smile to her lips.

"who took that photo of us?" she let the question slip out. will finally sat back up, trying to see what photo was being asked about.

"the one up there?"

"yeah," samy pointed to the shelf.

"uh..i think my mom took it. you'd just won the state championship for your last high school game," will explained the backstory and suddenly, it all came back to the girl.

"samy!" the brunette spun around. she caught sight of her three brothers rushing towards her in pure excitement. luke got to her first as he picked her up and spun her around in a tight hold.

"i'm so proud of you, samy!" the curly-haired boy exclaimed.

"you did so great, squirt! congratulations!" jack and quinn hugged her next. samy beamed from ear to ear at all the praise while the emotions of her last high school game ever started coursing through her.

"you're a fucking state champion for the second year in a row! how fucking cool!" jack rambled on and said how there's gonna be competition on the mantle where their parents put their kids' most important trophies and medals.

samy sort of stopped listening to her brothers when she saw will pushing his way through with grace and his parents in tow. she sort of shoved jack away as she rushed to will. he opened his arms wide and they met in the middle win a similar hug that luke gave her.

"i'm so, so proud of you, hughesy," will hummed into her shoulder.

"i'm so glad you came," the girl grinned some more.

"i want a picture!" colleen said, her phone already out. will let samy go as he shuffled to her side. she leaned her head into him until their heads touched and then she stuck up her pointer finger to signal as number 1.

she must've been so caught up in the moment that samy forgot the picture was even taken. the memory made her smile because she had all of her important people at that game and that meant so much to her.

"wow, that feels so long ago," samy finally spoke again, bringing her knees to her chest.

"yeah, i know. we were so..oblivious back then," will let the words slip from his mouth as he watched the girl's reaction.

her body tensed up a bit because she knew what he was talking about—so oblivious to the feelings they had for each other and what was to come out of that and where it would lead them.

"yeah. we were," the brunette hummed out.

she thought about the conversation with gabe and ryan from last week. she knew that everything they said was true, she just hadn't chosen to believe it quite yet. plus, what if she was scared of what her heart was trying to tell her?

obviously, it had something to say if she was sitting in san jose helping her ex decorate his new apartment even after he broke her heart and she was supposed to hate him for it. where was the hate when they sat inches apart in the living room without a couch all while reminiscing on their younger years?

"when do you start preseason?" will changed the subject and samy refocused her attention on him.

"next week," the girl beamed a bit. she was excited for the new season knowing a national title was definitely in their future this year.

"wow, that's soon."

"i suppose so, yeah. when do you start?"

"next week," will said and it was hard to believe this whole nhl thing was actually happening.

it didn't even seem like a reality when they were kids and now will was living out his dream of playing for an nhl team.

"i don't know if i've said this..but.i am proud of you. really proud. you're gonna do great here," the air in the room shifted a bit. it felt bittersweet hearing samy say those things after will basically pushed her out of his life.

she'd always support him no matter what.

the boy's gaze softened out as he ducked his eyes, "thanks, samy. that means a lot coming from you."

"you really do deserve all of this. you've worked really hard for it," she nodded as if she was affirming her words.

will blushed, but he didn't do anything to hide it, "thanks for coming. i-i know things haven't been...and i know i can't keep saying it, but i really am sorry for hurting you. i thought i was saving you from hurt, but i did the opposite."

"thank you for saying that. i..i don't really know what our relationship will be or if it ever will go back to how it was before this, but..i'm willing to try," the two shared a smile.

"i know this is probably gonna be a crazy ask, but..since we only have one more night until you leave tomorrow, would you wanna..like..get dinner? just the two of us?" will dared to ask because he'd regret it more if he didn't ask and lose his chance at proving himself to her.

this time it was samy's turn to blush, "are you asking me on a date?"

"do you want it to be a date?" they held each other's gazes for a moment before samy slowly nodded.

"yeah, let's go to dinner together," she smiled and so did will.

"really?"

"yeah, i think it'd be fun."

so it was settled. will and samy were going on a date that could potentially fix everything between them or be a total shit show. they both secretly hoped for the former.

—

they decided on 7. samy came out of the guest room in a dress marcie packed away for her when she told her friend she was flying to san jose with will. marcie claimed it would be "this exact occasion" meaning the girl was also hoping they'd make up their differences on this trip.

it wasn't anything special. it went down to her ankles in a soft pink with embroidered roses down each side of the dress. samy paired it with some sandal wedges and maybe her hand shook she did her makeup, but that didn't matter because this felt like another grace period.

if it went well, then..who knows. if it went horribly, they'd never talk about it again and at least samy was leaving so they wouldn't have to face the awkwardness too much. again, both of them hoped for the former.

grace saw samy first when she walked into the kitchen. the older girl's expression slipped into a smirk as she nudged her brother's arm who's gaze wasn't on samy. however, when he did see the girl for the first time, his eyes were the size of the moon and he couldn't look away.

"too much?" samy wondered nervously. she didn't know how dressy they were getting, but based on will's button down and dress shorts, she decided it was the right option.

"no, no. you look..you look great," will gulped while grace didn't stop her little snicker.

"oh wow, what's the occasion?" colleen came into the room, a look of surprise on her features seeing will and samy so dressed up.

"we're going for dinner," the blonde explained to his mom.

"the two of you?" the older woman's eyebrows raised

"yeah. it won't be long," will said.

the look on colleen's face said everything she didn't except a little, "have fun then."

the two managed small smiles as will led samy out of the apartment. grace and colleen didn't say anything until the door closed and gentle smiles fell on their lips.

"i really hope it works out between them," mrs. smith hummed.

"oh, i think it will. he won't let her go again," grace said.

will and samy started up the street where they'd have to walk a few blocks to the restaurant they decided on. they didn't say much, but the silence was comforting. it felt like a first date all over again except they knew everything about one another already.

"this is weird, but like in a good way," samy finally spoke first.

will managed a light laugh, "what does that mean?"

"like..weird i didn't think i'd ever agree to this, but i'm glad i did?" it was hard to put into words for samy.

her heart told her one thing while her head said something completely different.

"well, i hope you're still glad by the end of the night," will said, their gazes meeting briefly.

samy thought he looked better than ever. his curls were the perfect amount of curl and whatever the dev camp did to him worked some wonders because..wow. not that samy could ever peel her eyes off him, she really couldn't now.

they made it the restaurant and samy got another perfect excuse to stare at will when he sat down across from her at their little table in a corner.

"this okay?" will wondered, meaning there they'd been sat.

"it's perfect. i like how cozy it feels," the brunette smiled. will did too because he knew how much samy liked the corner tables because he also knew she felt too open when they sat in the middle of the room.

they spent a bit of time looking over the menu when the waiter came over. she smiled at the two, "i really love your dress. it's beautiful," she said to samy.

"oh, thank you. i appreciate that," the younger girl beamed.

after ordering, samy and will got into a bit of small talk that slowly shifted into regular talk that shifted into what felt like how they used to talk before things happened.

"you ever think about what you'd do if you got injured or something and you couldn't play anymore and had to retire?" samy stirred her straw around her cup.

"yeah, all the time. that actually might be me and my parents biggest worry," will laughed lightly.

"what would you do?"

"probably be really sad for awhile, but i'd get better and try to find another hobby i could take on," the blonde shrugged.

"i remember when we were kids you always said you'd become a coach if you couldn't ever skate anymore," samy said softly and will's own expression softened at the idea of samy remembering that.

"i really can't picture my life without hockey," they shared a laugh.

"yeah that sounds like you. you're all in, but i get it. hockey's my family's whole life. i can't imagine life without it either," the soccer player hummed.

"i just know i'd be so upset if the one thing i dedicate my life to can't happen anymore. it'd honestly make me have an identity crisis," will frowned.

"i kind of feel the same way about soccer. i don't really know who i am outside of the sports i've grown up playing," samy laughed but more as to hide the small pain she felt at the idea of really not knowing who she was.

"well, i think you're really generous. you have a big heart and you don't ever back down from anything. you're great with kids and your love for everyone you meet is super contagious," will didn't miss a beat with that leaving the girl across from him in surprise.

her cheeks flushed an embarrassing red, "you're just saying that."

"i'm not. you're probably one of the best people i know."

the look in will's eyes told samy how serious he was being. she just disregarded his comments despite the pounding in her chest and her hot cheeks.

the two spent the entire rest of dinner lost in conversation. both of their hearts felt full when they made it back outside where the temperature finally felt a few degrees cooler.

"this was a lot of fun. i really enjoyed it," samy said to will, a deep, loving smile on her lips.

"i'm glad you had fun. i did too," the boy smiled back.

they stood in a beat of silence trying to figure out what the next move was. tension filled the air, but not an angry one that's been there for awhile. this tension was different. it was thick, but heavy with what seemed like love and lust.

"would it be crazy if i kissed you?" will's voice was small and a bit shaky when he asked.

his eyes were everywhere on the girl in front of him because he'd been inching touch her since she walked out in the dress clinging to her body. actually, he'd been thinking about this since last week when they were at his going away party.

"no. i don't think so," samy inched herself closer to the blonde. her eyes were also everywhere and her breath hitched when he laid a hand on her lip.

will looked at her for one last reassuring look that he could go all in. when samy nodded he took that opportunity. his lips were hard against hers and so was his hand on her hip.

they molded into one another like they never spent time apart. samy's hands found their respective places on will's chest and in his hair at the back of his head.

their steady breathing turned into heavy pants when they pulled away for a second. big smiles danced on both of their lips at the feeling of being pressed up against one another because it was a feeling they missed a lot.

"is this.." will's voice faded off because he didn't quite know what he was asking.

"it's okay. more than okay," samy nodded eagerly.

"maybe we should go back to my place?" the boy said because they were still on the sidewalk and people were walking by.

"yeah, right. of course," the girl nodded and they started back down the sidewalk to will's apartment.

the smiles on their lips were evident and they grew even bigger when their fingers slowly intertwined with one another. earlier samy's heart and head were in different places making her feel lost. right now, they were in the exact same place and she knew exactly what she was feeling: love.

because she'd always love will. even after he broke her heart. even after he did everything to prove to her he regretted everything he did. she loved him through and through and samy knew he felt the exact same way about her.

of course, that didn't mean her guard was broken down completely. there was still a lot of cracks to be repaired and that only came with time and more trust.

right now, though, none of that mattered when samy stumbled back into the apartment with will. it was dark since grace and mrs. smith headed back to the hotel room for the night because maybe they both knew the date would lead to something more.

will's lips were back on samy's as soon as the door was closed. he pushed her up against the hardwood as she reciprocated his actions, kissing his lips hard and running her hands through his now messy curls.

they were fully making out—hungry for each other's lips because they'd been apart for so long. samy's hands fumbled with the buttons of will's shirt in a desperate attempt to peel it off of him.

"i really missed you," will mumbled against her lips between the kissing. he felt the girl smile.

"i missed you too," she said as the blonde pulled her closer against his body.

his boner pressed against her lower stomach and it sent butterflies through the girl, especially when will's one hand moved to grab her ass. a noise escaped her lips right into will's mouth.

"is this okay?" the blonde asked, worried he was moving too fast.

"yes, it's perfect," samy started becoming breathless again. she pushed the rest of his shirt down his arms, exposing his entire torso. her eyes racked down his toned body, gripping slightly on the muscled arms.

"they've been working you good," the girl laughed a little making will blush.

"you think so?" he grinned, always loving samy's praise.

"mhm," her words got lost in her throat when she pulled the boy back to her lips.

they made out a bit longer until will's lips dropped further down. he kissed down her neck until getting to her collarbone and the top of her breasts. the blonde began sucking lightly and little moans finally escaped samy's lips at the feeling. her head hit the door, her grip hard on will's arms.

"fuck, will," samy moaned out, her sounds going straight to his dick still throbbing in his pants.

"missed this so much," the boy's voice was muffled against her skin. she laughed, tugging his curls which in turn made will suck harder.

"you're gonna get me in trouble with these," samy said knowing all the girls in the locker room would see them next week. all will did was shrug.

"good. they'll know who they came from," he looked up for a second and the look in his eyes held a certain type of possession in them.

"can i at least return the favor?" she's been dying to have her mouth on will's body since she saw those pictures of him at the bauer combine a few months ago.

"just keep them low so no one sees them," will said, standing back up with a little smirk on his face.

they switched positions so will was against the door and samy didn't waste any time placing her lips halfway down his stomach. immediately, will's head was against the door with his hands gripping the girl's arms. he really did miss her lips on him like this.

"jesus christ," he mumbled lowly, eyes closing in pleasure.

the girl's lips nipped and sucked every part of his skin. sometimes she'd give a little bite and will would have to restrain himself from tugging her hair. when she moved further down closer to his waistband the blonde nearly saw stars.

she didn't even have to touch him and he was falling apart for her. "oh, samy. fuck," his moans filled her with pride because she knew no one else could make will feel like this just from some little hickeys.

she stood back up and will's lust-filled gaze stuck to her. their lips met again in a more passionate kiss where will led her to the bedroom since the living room still had no couch. samy left her shoes and followed the blonde to the bed where she had one thing in her mind.

she went for his pants, tugging them down his legs and leaving him in just his underwear. will looked up at her with slightly heavy pants, his heart pounding but not because he was nervous. samy's eyes were on the bulge in his underwear, reaching forward to wrap her hand around it. will jumped from her delicate touch, jaw clenching.

he was hot and heavy and samy knew he was already ready for her. she liked how hard will always got just from making out where she barely even touched him.

"s-samy, please," will got out, desperate for anything more than her stroking him. his desperate tone made the brunette smile as she finally took him out of his underwear.

he was red all over and samy's mouth watered in anticipation. she leaned herself down, sticking her tongue out to slowly lick a stripe from the bottom up. will's hips immediately stuttered on the first touch.

"fuck."

samy grabbed ahold of him with her hand, her thumb swiping over the sensitive tip before plunging back down his length. will groaned out, gripping the bedsheets while his stomach clenched multiple times. finally, her mouth locked around him, going in deeper than ever making the blonde nearly scream.

"shit. shit," will instinctively bucked his hips up where samy placed one hand down so he couldn't move.

"gotta stay still, pretty boy," the nickname left her lips faster than she could stop it. it was music to will's ears though because he's missed hearing her call him that.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry. feels so good," he mumbled out a bit incoherently. any straight thought was quickly leaving the hockey player's brain while the pleasure took over.

just for that, samy sucked him harder, using her hand to pump the part she couldn't fit in her mouth. will was on cloud 9. his head pushed back into the pillow while he did his best to keep himself from bucking up, but each little suck and scrape on his cock was making it harder and harder for him to stay still.

"fuck—i'm not gonna last. gonna make me cum," will got out when he forced his gaze back on the girl below him. the sight was to die for. samy was on her knees still in her dress, but her tits were practically spilling out of it along with the hickeys scattered across her chest.

she figured will wouldn't last long based on the way he kept twitching in her mouth. she didn't blame him though because her underwear were soaked all the way through at the sound of him begging to cum.

"uh, samy. fuck— please. wanna cum," his words jumbled together as his stomach clenched and the feeling continued building.

"come for me, will. it's okay," samy finally said and will let go. his hips bucked up, uncontrollable moans escaping his lips as he released his load into her mouth.

she took it all, swallowing it down until he was finished. she let go with a pop and will's dick fell back onto his stomach twitching still. samy grinned at him.

"f-fuck. i haven't..done that in so long," the blonde mumbled meaning he hasn't done anything with anyone since they broke up.

he pulled her down on top of him, going for her lips again where he could taste himself on her and some of her strawberry lipgloss. in between the kissing, will's fingers found the little zipper on the back of the dress. he slowly pulled it down where samy helped by taking her arms out of the straps and pushing it the rest of the way down her body until it pooled at her legs.

the hockey player's gaze glued itself to the matching set samy sported. her pretty pink lacey bra and hot pink thong matched her dress perfectly and will swore he felt his cock harden all over again.

"what is this?" will mumbled, eyes still glued to the underwear.

"what? my underwear?" samy laughed lightly.

"you're gonna fucking kill me," the blonde said making the brunette smile. she let will flip them over so she was on the bed now. he stared down at her, eyes filled with lust and love.

"gonna make you feel so good," he said with one finger hooking into the waistband of her thong.

"you better keep your word," samy teased him.

will's lips were on her a second later. he started just below her chest, kissing down her stomach in slightly wet kisses until he reached the waistband. he pushed the band aside, eyes glowing at the site of samy's already wet pussy.

"jesus. i haven't even done anything and you're this wet already?" his eyes briefly found hers and all samy could do was shrug.

"your moans were hot. what can i say?" as much as will tried to show his dominance, the twitch in his cock at her words said everything about how much control samy had no matter what.

will didn't waste another second attaching his lips. his grip was hard on her thighs as his tongue slowly explored her insides. her hands flew to his hair where she pulled and tugged hard when will found the perfect spots.

"mmm, fuck will. just like that," samy nodded, eyes closed and back arching off the bed the deeper he got.

"fuck you taste so good," the blonde said. he could do this forever if he could because there was no better taste or feeling than his girl and the way she harshly tugged at his curls.

her little moans and whimpers started getting to him again. will moved his hips against the mattress, desperate to find some relief in his already aching cock while he continued his attack on samy's beautiful pussy.

"will, i'm gonna cum," samy got out, that feeling quick to snap in her stomach because she too hasn't felt this in so long, so she wasn't gonna last at all.

"that's it, pretty girl. come for me," will encouraged and samy did just that.

she released right onto him in a loud moan, glad that they had the apartment all to themselves. when she was finished she met will's gaze where he licked his lips clean and beamed up at her.

"you're actually amazing," he hummed earning a little eye roll from the girl. she tugged him up to kiss his lips, also tasting herself on him. will pulled at her hips, their bodies pressing together until samy flipped them over again. she straddled his lap, the hockey player gazing up at her in a loopy grin.

"wanna fuck you," she said, hands running down his torso. he nodded, hands eagerly squeezing her thighs.

"yes, please. want you to ride me. haven't seen you on top in months," will was a mess making samy smile. she leaned back to stroke will's cock again, getting it ready for her.

"wait, fuck. i don't have any condoms," the blonde quickly realized that in the moving process he didn't buy any and he threw away the ones he had before so his mom didn't see them.

"it's okay. i'm on the pill and i trust you," samy said like it wasn't a big deal but will's eyes widened.

"a-are you sure?" he's dreamed about having sex without a condom, but he didn't think that would happen for another year or two.

"positive. do you trust me?" samy asked and the boy quickly nodded.

"of course i do. i-i just.." his voice faded.

"we don't have to if you're not comfortable. i was just offering it," samy noticed his shift, but will shook his head.

"no, no. i want to. i just.." his face blushed a hot red, "i probably won't last long at all," it felt embarrassing to say, but samy only smiled.

"it's okay. honestly, that's flattering of you to say," they shared a laugh and she felt will relax a bit more underneath her.

"as long as you're sure, i'm sure," will nodded more firmly this time.

the brunette giggled as she pushed her thong aside and started lining will up with her entrance. he slipped in almost immediately and both of their eyes closed at the feeling. he stretched her out, the pleasure outweighing the pain and will's hands carefully gripped samy's hips in an attempt to keep his hips still until he was all the way in.

"oh god. holy fuck," he stuttered, his cock already throbbing for a release.

samy smiled, carefully moving her hips when she felt ready. the pace started slow until will started matching her pace with little thrusts of her hips. they began moving at a more steady pace, the only sounds in the room were their skin slapping together.

"fuck, yeah. feels so good, will," samy moaned out, hands sprawled across his chest for leverage.

"you're so beautiful," the boy mumbled, eyes roaming everywhere across her body.

his hands grabbed handfuls of her ass, moaning out at the feeling of her in his hold. little beads of sweat littered their bodies and it wasn't just because of the 100° temperatures anymore.

"fuck samy. 'm so close. god, you're so beautiful. i love you. i love you," will's words jumbled together again into incoherent thoughts and sentences. samy blushed hearing him say i love you.

"gonna come for me will?" she said between her own pants.

"yeah, gonna cum. gonna cum so hard," he continued.

"me too, pretty boy. you feel so good," samy threw her head back. the way will's cock continuously pierced her open had her falling apart on top of him. the feeling she was familiar with built up in her stomach until finally snapping when will thrusted particularly hard.

she moaned out, her hips stuttering and her orgasm taking over. the feeling of her clenching around his length also sent will over the edge.

he thrusted up, spilling his load inside of her, more uncontrollable moans leaving his lips and his head digging into the pillow.

"fuck, fuck, fuck. oh, fuck," he thrusted one more time into her, the last few drops leaving his now throbbing cock. samy fell onto the bed beside him, their chests heaving in an attempt to catch their breaths.

"that was.."

"really great," will finished her sentence. they laid there staring at the ceiling for a few more moments until the blonde shifted his gaze over to her.

he suddenly worried what this meant now. especially because samy was leaving tomorrow to go back to michigan. she felt his gaze on her, so she turned her body into him, eyes on him as well.

"so.." the boy became shy, his voice fading off in fear that if he asked, samy would say that this was a one time thing and she didn't want him back after all.

"so.." she copied his tone, her finger tracing his shoulder.

"what now?" he dared to ask.

"you said you love me?" samy said, remembering will's confession through his pleasure a few minutes ago. she watched his cheeks heat up again, but he didn't look away.

"i do. i mean i always have," the blonde admitted because it was true. he loved the girl beside him a whole, whole lot.

"you really hurt me," samy stared at his arm, will's smile disappearing into a frown.

"i know," their voices were quiet now.

"it's not gonna be all perfect like it was before all of this happened, you know," she continued.

"i know."

"it's gonna take awhile for me to completely trust you again."

"i know."

samy met his gaze again. his eyes had never left hers and she could see the love hiding within them the more she stared at him.

"i love you, too, will," their smiles slowly started returning.

"i promise i won't hurt you. i can't lose you again and i know that now," will shifted so they laid facing each other. he reached his hand out to brush some hair away from her face.

"you never lost me. i was always there," samy smiled a little and will beamed, pulling her closer to him so they were nearly chest to chest.

"i wish you weren't leaving tomorrow," the sadness crept back in knowing they could've had so much more time.

"me neither, but maybe i can make something happen to fly out for your first game," the girl grinned, trying to keep the mood light.

"i'd really love that," will returned her contagious smile.

they spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other's arms, holding onto all the time they had left until samy left for michigan and their long distance continued. this time, samy definitely knew her heart and head were on the same page because each of them were quiet in her mind as she fell asleep in will's hold.

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Finn, James(/Holden); private number

For the prompt: Please, we need Finn’s POV of James and Holden!

This is 99% a loving but honest treatise about Finn's Bestest Friend, because Finn Schneider, everybody.

James has always been someone who keeps things close to the vest. Some of their teammates have referred to James as secretive, and every time Finn’s overheard them he’s corrected them.

Private, he says. James is private.

But honestly, Finn doesn’t actually disagree with them.

James is private, Finn means that, but it isn’t just privacy. Privacy is a preference. Secrecy is something else. Finn doesn’t know how to explain the difference, but he thinks most people would agree there is one, and most people who’ve met James would agree that James is the latter.

Finn is private. James is something else entirely.

Finn had known James for almost a year before he learned he had a brother. Even though James had met all his siblings by that point, Finn had only heard about Chelsea, and he probably only knew about her because, besides his parents, she was the only person who ever called James. Or, Finn supposes, not necessarily the only ones who called, but they were the only ones whose calls James actually picked up.

It took Finn five years, give or take, before he knew, really knew, that James was gay, and even then, it wasn’t because James told him. And maybe he isn’t gay, maybe he’d prefer Finn use another word entirely, but it’s not like Finn can ask him, considering if James does know Finn’s aware, he’s doing a very good job of pretending not to. Or maybe he’s just trying not to think about it. He does that sometimes.

Five years. Finn’s not saying that he didn’t suspect before that, but —

He doesn’t like that word, ‘suspect’. It makes it sound like James has done something unethical, illegal. Or alternately, that Finn spends all his time gathering intel about people, putting together data like pieces of a puzzle — adding up a glance, an awkward pause, a smirk, forming a clear picture out of signals that most people don’t even know they’ve been making.

Maybe the second one’s a little too close to the truth for his liking. It’s not that he does it on purpose, exactly — he doesn’t want to be nosy, or overstep, and he thinks he mostly manages to avoid that.

But he can’t keep his brain from cataloguing all those pieces of information, can’t keep it from noticing which ones might fit together, even if he never confronts someone with the information, never mentions it to anyone else, never lets it change the way he treats them.

Giving someone clues, often unknowingly, isn’t the same as telling them something, and in his experience, people don’t appreciate you knowing things they haven’t told you. They certainly don’t like knowing you can predict their behaviour — people really hate thinking they're predictable — so Finn’s learned to keep his mouth shut, let them think that they aren’t.

But he still knows all those things about them. He can't help that.

Five years, it took. At least four of them as James’ best friend. Because that's what he is, he knows that even though James doesn't say it. He’s the only person James can still tolerate by the end of a long road trip, the first person James would call if he needed a hand, an ear, a guide. On most things, at least, and he’s thankful James can go to his sister or his mom for all the stuff Finn's just as hopeless with. The first person James would call in an emergency — after 911, obviously, if it was that kind.

It’s not like that doesn’t go both ways — he’s Finn’s best friend too. Finn probably wouldn’t call him in an emergency, but that’s because James usually has his phone on silent, and he probably wouldn’t pick up. Also, Finn loves him, but with the exception of a couple very specific scenarios Finn can see James being extremely helpful for, most of them hockey related, his particular skillset doesn’t exactly match the ones needed during most emergencies.

Finn had a flat last month. Not a real emergency, honestly, but close enough for the purposes of illustration. The first call he made was to AAA, and the second one was to Georgie, who lived nearby, and came to pick him up so he didn’t have to catch a ride with the tow truck.

If Georgie hadn’t answered Finn probably would have called Logan, though he’s almost as bad at picking up as James is, then maybe Greg, who also lived around there, or his right-side neighbours, who are the genuinely neighbourly kind, and wouldn’t be going out of their way on the ride back home, at least.

He texted James while he waited for G, though. James replied three hours later with You have AAA right?

Finn doesn’t mean to make James sound like a bad friend, because he isn’t one. He’s kind, and hard-working, and brilliant about the game. He has high standards, but he holds himself to even higher ones. He can miss the obvious sometimes, but he's uncannily observant about other things — he probably knows more about Finn's preferences than he does, and notices before anyone, even the coaching staff, what isn't working with a drill.

He makes Finn laugh too — sometimes it's unintentional, but it usually isn't. James is funny, though Finn knows nobody believes him, because James doesn't tell jokes, he mumbles them, and he only does it with a few select people, Finn luckily among them. And the comments he mutters to Finn under his breath are usually snarky enough to make Finn struggle to keep a straight face, things that Finn would never say, or even mutter, but does sometimes find himself thinking.

And he’s — he’s comfortable. Or more, Finn’s comfortable around him, the way he hasn’t felt with anyone but family before, not even G.

Around James, everything is just a little bit easier. It’s easier to step up, easier to speak out, easier to know what to do, to trust the decisions he makes.

It probably helps that James always looks like Finn’s saved his ass by ordering his drink while he’s in the bathroom, grabbing him OJ across the street because the hotel ran out and James isn’t nearly awake enough yet to go himself, checking in after James notices a call-up has been putting it back after games. Like Finn’s some kind of really boring superhero. Super Schneids, saving the day one glass of orange juice and possible intervention at a time.

Finn didn’t tell James, because it wouldn’t have helped anything, but he wasn’t any more enthusiastic about Holden joining the team than James was. It’s taken years for their team to grow up, grow closer, for the room to gel. It's their team — all of theirs, of course, but it’s James' and Finn’s and G’s. Like some sort of Charlie’s Angels, where G’s got the good looks and charm, James is the strategic genius, and Finn’s — well, Finn knows how to talk to people.

Adding anyone to the room can change the dynamic, no matter who they are, and Holden Chase wasn’t just anyone. He had a history with half the roster, some of it pretty ugly, and James didn’t hide the fact he detested him. Detested him a way Finn hadn’t seen him act with any other opponent before, though James has nursed more than a few quiet vendettas, ones Finn’s probably the only one aware of, because, well, James is private. But everybody on the roster knew how he felt about Holden Chase well before he got here.

It makes Finn wonder if this was something — inevitable, maybe. That line about a thin line between love and hate. James doesn’t pay much attention to anyone unless they impress him, but he paid a lot of attention to Holden, even as he claimed he wasn’t impressed at all.

Inevitable, though Finn doesn’t know what started it, can’t quite peg the moment, though he bets it wasn't when James was clenching his jaw the second Chaser walked in the room, certainly after he lost his composure in practice for only the second time Finn’s ever seen, and more...spectacularly than anyone would have expected, Finn included, and Finn’s pretty sure he knows James better than anyone.

But still not well enough, apparently. Not well enough to know what changed, or more, how it did — when it was, who made the first move — though he assumes it had to have been Holden. He knows James at least that well.

But he doesn't know exactly what it is, or more, how James would describe it. Beyond ‘someone special’, at least, though those are the words from Finn’s mom, not him, he just acknowledged there was someone. The first time he said it, Finn assumes to anyone.

A confession he followed up with an uncomfortable, roundabout series of questions that Finn was pretty sure boiled down to ‘do you know it’s Chase? Please don’t actually confirm that, I’ve already dealt with enough tonight’, judging by his visible relief when the subject was dropped. Right before he lit up at the suggestion of going to meet up with the team, even though a year ago he would have made a face at Finn for the question, like ‘obviously not, who do you think I am?’.

But then, a year ago, Finn wouldn’t have asked him that question, because he does know James. Not perfectly, or even as well as he wants to, because James shrinks back from interest like a turtle hiding in its shell, but as well as James allows.

And, as well as he knows James, he still finds it all a little — inexplicable, maybe. Or not, maybe it isn’t, but nobody’s explaining it, certainly not to him. But Finn keeps his mouth shut, keeps his eyes forward, the first rules of the locker room, probably even more important than ‘don’t suck’. If James wants to explain it, Finn’s happy to listen, but in the meantime, he picks up the pieces, fits them together the best he can, and hopes like hell this all won’t blow up.

[thegreatyin]

26 27 30 36... Scoundrel and Scientist. Also gimme the cufflink saga already.

IM STILL PIECING THE SNIPPETS TOGETHER IM SORRY I KNOW IVE TAUNTED YALL WITH ALLUSIONS TO IT FOR AGES JDFHDHDJDK

26 - What would be their ideal romance? Did they find a perfect match already, is it still a work in progress, or have they experienced something out of their expectations?

The Scoundrel's ideal partner would probably be someone willing to put up with her... everything. Either because they don't care, or because they indulge her to her heart's content. Someone able to back up her wildest dreams (or even fulfill them) while still being there at the end of the day to kiss her head and tell her it's all going to turn out okay.

She thinks this someone is Wines. It is not Wines.

The Scientist's ideal partner... is a lot more broad, and also simultaneously a bit more narrow.

See, he's fine with just about anyone, theoretically. All he wants is someone he can live for, and work to protect. He doesn't even care if he gets the same in return. Ideally someone patient, and clever, and maybe a little bit terrifying- someone he can trust completely and utterly-

But he doesn't really care about any of that. He just wants someone he can get along with. Someone he can almost feel safe around. He doesn't care about anything else.

-

27 - What is their romance’s theme song?

The Hatsune Miku cover of Poison. And Butcher Vanity.

...oh, you meant general romance, not together. That's, admittedly trickier.

And by "trickier" I mean "I'm stumped". I have absolutely no idea. I've never thought about it before. Consider this an open invitation for y'all to come in and suggest romance songs, because I'm kind of at a loss rn

-

30 - What is their love language?

The Scoundrel gives gifts. A lot of gifts. If you've actually, sincerely, unironically, somehow, against every odd in the universe, thoroughly captivated them, you'd get absolutely smothered in more gifts than anyone could hope to count. Extravagant ones, too.

Like.

They're the kind of person who thinks a comically expensive romantic dinner at the most exclusive restaurant in the country is "modest". They're the kind of person who'd send you hourly updates on how their day is going because they think you genuinely unironically need to know this pressing information because you love them and they love you back. They're the kind of person who spends hours trying and failing to win a giant stuffed animal at a carnival because you said it looked cute and they want to impress and pamper you.

They're the kind of person who spends half of their fortune supplying Mr Wines' revels because they think they're getting such an insanely good grade in flirting and serving and being such a good sexy appealing lover for their stupid horrible drunken crush that won't even give them a second glance-

I mean. Uh. Ahem. Clears throat.

Gift-giving. They like gift-giving.

The Scientist on the other hand- he's pretty squarely split between acts of service and quality time. I don't compare him to a cat for nothing. He's either actively being "useful" to people, or he's sitting with them in silence for 2 hours straight while they do an unrelated task in the same general vicinity.

He considers the latter to be fantastic socializing.

-

36 - What would they gift to their partner or their best friends to show their affection?

See the Scoundrel's aforementioned answer about giant stuffed animals and supplying revels. But also flower bundles. And honey. And bundled flowers dipped in honey. They feel like the type to gift what they like because they're under the impression that their favorite things are universal favorite things.

As for the Scientist... he's admittedly not the best at sending gifts, but he certainly tries? His gifts are way more humble. Way more small. Like the results of an interesting experiment, or a cool puzzle he thought up, or a handmade scrapbook that's not exactly good insomuch as it is unbelievably sincere. Tiny nerdy trinkets that won't mean much to an onlooker, but end up being super soft and sentimental to those in the know.

Also, I could see him knitting a bunch of stuff. Little winter hats, scarves, gloves, the works. It's sweet. He's sweet.

[number1villainstan]

For the Utena ask game: 2, 3, 9, 11?

2. favorite episode (bonus: favorite scene)

Cop out answer, but I'm genuinely not familiar enough with the show to have a single favorite episode. I've only watched it all the way through once, and I'm still in the middle of a second rewatch (it's a group rewatch, the Utena Weekly thing that's going on on the Empty Movement forum). That being said, I really like Wakaba's second episode in the Black Rose arc, and the Tale of the Rose episode in the Akiopocalypse arc. And Nanami's two parter (also in the Akiopocalypse arc).

I love the scenes of fake domestic bliss between Wakaba and Saionji in the BR arc for entirely selfish shippy reasons--they're so damn bittersweet, a taste of what could have been, and you hope desperately that this can keep going even though you know that it can't, even though you know that it's only able to function because of the choking secrecy and play-pretend. Even though you know it's gotta come crashing down around their ears.

Tale of the Rose doesn't have one specific favorite scene for me, but I really like this episode because it does genuinely so much heavy lifting in the context of the show. It gives you two different versions of the same story, and both of those versions give you so much information, both directly and indirectly, about the world of Ohtori, how to decode its symbols, what Really Happened when Utena was a child, how the systems of Ohtori function and what their basis is. I called it the 'lore climax' on my first watchthrough, I think? And I stand by it. Because holy shit. The first half is a great little play, but the second half is like the Flashback To End All Flashbacks.

Nanami's two parter in the Akiopocalypse arc--probably my favorite scene in that episode is right after Nanami 'loses' the duel. It's such a wild emotional ride to see her get hit with a car and then still be standing. Still be on her own two feet. I genuinely think I might have been close to crying from triumph during my first watchthrough when I watched this scene.

3. favorite arc

Oh man, I almost wanna say the Black Rose arc? It's definitely the weakest of all the arcs, but it's got more focus on a lot of the characters that I'm drawn to more than I'm drawn to Utena (rip Utena, you're a great character but you're just not my type). Specifically I'm thinking the focus on Wakaba and Mikage's whole deal. Akiopocalypse is also a solid contender, because of how much it fleshes out Anthy (another of my faves) and also how well it ties all of the themes of RGU together. Seriously, RGU is like a masterclass in how to tell a story and it's going to be influencing my writing for ever and ever.

9. favorite aspect of the show to analyze/read analysis about

FUCK IF I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW IS SO DAMN GOOD I CAN'T CHOOSE

I think my favorite thing to analyze (not necessarily read analysis about) used to be Saionji and his relationship to and position in the systems of Ohtori? But I'm not sure if it's that anymore. At this point I'd probably read literally any analysis ever about anything about this show.

11. favorite and/or most interesting relationship (doesn't have to be romantic)

hhhhhhh DEFINITELY Wakaba/Saionji. It's definitely A Ship but IDK if I interpret it as strictly romantic, but I've definitely written for it (go check out setting down roots for a look at a post-Ohtori possibility for them. Although it was one of the monthly short pieces that was only one draft, so it doesn't cohere quite as well as I would have liked it to, especially on the symbolic side). They have SO MANY PARALLELS (to me). They could have broken down Ohtori themselves if Ohtori's systems hadn't doomed them from the start. They're an intensely tragic pair but only in the specific circumstances that canon put them in. I go crazy over them every time.

the ask game is here

[666writingcafe]

Don't Look Back

Thirteen

Well, this wasn't part of my vacation plans. All I wanted to do was to relax at the beach and soak in some vitamin D, but now I'm staring at my tablet screen, observing my grass-covered field through MC's eyes.

It's amazing how much technology has done to make my job easier. There truly is an app for everything.

"Looks we found our first rule," I hear Solomon announce to the others through my earbuds.

Please tell me you get your blood ethically. MC's thought shows up as a text message on the right side of my screen, and it amuses me so much that I nearly choke on my drink.

You're quite funny, MC. Shouldn't you be concerned that I've gathered enough blood to write these messages?

I live with the Avatars of Sin. I've seen worse.

"So basically, we just have to walk along making sure to keep facing forward?" the guy with the purple hair asks as he starts laughing. "That's so easy it's hilarious!"

You would think that Levi would know that this probably won't be easy.

How so?

He's played too many video games to be this naive. I'm sure that you didn't make your levels easy to complete, because otherwise every Tom, Dick, and Harry would waltz into your cave and mess around with their candles whenever they felt like it.

Dang. I'm impressed. Are they usually this insightful?

I wonder...

How do you think I've made this level challenging, then?

MC takes a moment to respond, probably because they're trying to put the pieces together.

Hallucinations?

Something tells me this isn't their first rodeo.

Yes. Auditory ones.

That's probably what I would have done, to be honest. I'd want people to struggle to not turn around, and if they're experiencing powerful hallucinations, then they'll inevitably break the rule, which would leave my candles safe for another day.

You read me like an open book, MC.

Does that bother you?

What an interesting question. Should it bother me? I mean, it would if they were someone like Solomon, using that information for their own personal agenda.

MC seems different, though, and I don't know how.

Want me to tell you what the others are hallucinating?

Sure. You'll have to tell me who's who, because I'm only familiar with Solomon and Lucifer.

Okay. The guy in the brown leather jacket and yellow-tinted sunglasses is Mammon. Satan is the blond that looks like he went through a tornado in order to get his outfit. Asmo is the most feminine looking, Beel's the tall ginger, and Belphie is the one clinging onto him.

And Levi's the guy with the purple hair.

Yes. Mammon thinks I'm inviting him to have sex with me, Satan hears a newborn kitten crying out for help, Asmo hears people chanting his name, and Levi thinks Ruri-chan is asking him to go on an adventure with him.

Who's Ruri-chan?

The heroine in one of his favorite pieces of anime.

Now that's just depressing.

What about Beel and Belphie?

They've not disclosed that information to us.

"Everyone calm down." Shit. That's Lucifer. "You're just hearing things. None of it is real. It's all to get you to break the rule for this level. You have to resist the urge to look back."

I know that tone.

He's on the edge of breaking.

Grab Lucifer's hand.

Do you think he's hallucinating?

Violently.

In addition to grabbing Lucifer's hand, MC squeezes it, as if letting him know that they're there for him. Lucifer visibly relaxes as he squeezes back.

They must be pretty special if they can get Lucifer of all people to ease up with a simple touch.

You were right. He was hearing Lilith.

Oh my. I had no idea that the war still traumatized him. I thought surely that he would have gotten over most of it by now. He certainly acted that way the last time I saw him.

And then there's MC. The fact that they know about Lilith...they must have gotten really close to Lucifer for him to disclose that information to them.

They really are a curious creature.

"Levi, don't turn around!" Belphie's warning comes too late as Levi cries out to imaginary Ruri-chan that he'll help her save the day.

Barf.

At least he's cute as a Little D. Kind of.

[deathsbestgirl]

christmas carol/emily + melissa's phone calls + scully's dreams

so. something i love about this episode is the way scully hears melissa. i don't think we have a reason to believe it is anyone else. scully saw her father's ghost before she even got the call. when she was in a coma, he came to her. she could feel & hear nurse owens taking care of her, helping her hold on. she had the strength of mulder's beliefs to come back.

scully doesn't say it at first, but she recognized melissa's voice immediately. the thought doesn't fit with her worldview but the voice won't tell her who they are.

the first call, she's alone in bill's house. the others having just gone upstairs. later that night, she has the first dream & the second call (again, when she is alone):

personally i think these are memories. they may not be 100% what happened. this 100% has to do with melissa's call & the little girl scully saw. instantly, she recognizes how much she looks like melissa as a child. scully couldn't take her eyes off of her, until kresge closed the door cutting off her view.

emily appears in the basement after little dana finds her rabbit dead. i think the one who really found her was melissa. scully is putting the pieces together. i think this is a reason she starts to research emily's background, and when she finds emily was adopted, her logic assumes melissa must be her biological mother.

i believe scully is psychic. but i don't necessarily think of it the way people typically think of psychic abilities. both scully & mulder have a gift for recognizing patterns, storing away information in their brain that they're able to pull out when they recognize something. it isn't always conscious, because sometimes that's just how our brains work. there's something within us that recognizes it and until we have more pieces, we can't consciously put it together. like mulder's dream in paper hearts. when scully quotes mulder back to himself "dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask" and this episode is a culmination of that. when mulder was thought dead at the end of season two, melissa wanted her to go into her memories & figure out what happened to her during her abduction. she runs away & can't face it. scully has a dream about mulder and she believes he's alive, that he was somehow reaching out to her. in paper hearts, mulder never let go of that case. he didn't get the definitive proof that they found all the girls and every one of them deserved justice and their families deserved answers & closure.

now, scully's hearing melissa's voice and she's bringing her to this little girl. she almost calls mulder, because she believes it's melissa. she believes she's meant to find this little girl. she's terrified of what this means, and part of her definitely knows it has to do with her abduction, like her cancer did. but she isn't there yet. and so, she tries to adopt emily. because that's melissa's daughter, and she needs a family & someone to love her and scully already does. she thinks melissa wants her to. and then she finds out emily is actually her biological daughter. that's when she finally does call mulder, because now what's coming, she isn't prepared for in any way. she doesn't know, but part of her does.

her next dream is the only true abstract dream she has (until the beginning of emily), the others are very straightforward. a memory and a connection to emily. this one causes scully to suspect mr. sim of killing his wife. this one isn't a memory, but it's scully putting together pieces unconsciously, that will lead to conscious answers. it wasn't mr. sim, but there's a connection she hasn't yet found. her true connection to emily, the connection to the government conspiracy they're constantly tangled in.

i also think it's actually a way of mr. sim showing scully the truth. bringing little dana to see emily's adoptive mother, and passing the responsibility to her to be emily's mother & protector, because they won't be able to.

in the next dream, melissa & scully are checking out their gifts under the christmas tree. maggie comes out and lets them both open one, it's their cross necklaces. (again a memory, but maybe not completely accurate because maggie scully tells mulder she gives scully the cross necklace for her birthday)

then we see scully putting emily on a car. emily is transfixed by her cross necklace. emily wasn't in this dream, but it seems like a clear sign to me & it's one reason scully puts the cross around emily's neck. it's a symbol to scully of her family, and belief. we see emily holding the necklace, looking wide-eyed back at scully as the car drives away.

this dream of scully's, the one i think is the full reality of the memory, she talks to melissa about her choices and how ahab feels about it and what feels right to her and how it's not fate, it's choices. i love this conversation because i actually think they have the same viewpoint, but they talk about it differently. this is something melissa understands that scully can't quite see (mostly because she fights most belief with skepticism as a form of protection). (to me, this also lends itself perfectly to what happened in the field where i died. even if scully knew for certain, she wouldn't change anything. she would make the same choices. because they were always her choices.)

i also think this lines up beautifully with what mulder says at the end of emily.

he feared what emily was created for, but she's just a little girl and he loves every child. especially a little scully girl. they didn't save emily's life in the way they hoped, but they saved her. she died with scully next to her, scully's cross around her neck, surrounded by love.

i also love "she found me" so much. melissa lead scully to emily, because emily was reaching out to her. emily instantly loved scully, the way scully instantly loved her.

at the end, all she's left with is her cross, like her dream at beginning + scully's voiceover tells us.

but scully isn't as alone as she feels. mulder is always there. he was there with her every step of the way once she called him, what she allowed him to be there for. and he always will be. he fought hard for both scully & emily, he held nothing back. until scully said she wouldn't put emily through what a "cure" entails. they've already used a "miracle cure" on scully and they haven't yet learned all the consequences of that. but with the way everything has gone, something in both of them suspects there's more to come of scully's abduction. they're constantly waiting for the next landslide to sweep them off their feet.

this is the only dream in emily, because she has the pieces and she has mulder to help her put it together. there's also only one phone call she received, and melissa doesn't speak this time. the only time she isn't alone, the only time mulder is there. the phone calls were specifically for scully, and mulder is going to help finish what scully started so she can focus on caring for emily & being there for her.

[krikeymate]

In your Foster AU, would Tara still meet Amber? What would their relationship be like? Would Amber still attack Tara? She wouldn't have to, since Sam was already there... how would Sam react to Tara being stabbed multiple times if she basically was her kid? Would the second attack at the hospital still happen? I feel like mama Sam wouldn't leave Tara's side, even just for a minute. Or would she be forced to? Would it still happen with Sam there? Would Sam date Richie if she raised Tara?

Thank you for all the questions!! They're great ones.

Unlike in five years late, they're not living in Woodsboro, so there's not really any of the known supporting cast. Here, nobody actually really knows that Sam is Billy's daughter. So Amber is out there not being a murderer, great for her fans!

Which begs the question, how do we work in the Ghostface attacks? Because we can't just have them heal and live their happy little life. I mean, we could, but where's the fun in that.

On the 25th anniversary of the Woodsboro killings, a bunch of classmates of Sidney and Billy release a documentary talking about them. As part of that documentary, it's revealed how Billy was a womaniser, and it was an open secret that he was cheating on Sidney. They openly reveal that he was sleeping with Christina - god bless her fucked up soul - and speculate on her firstborn's father and all of the... trouble.

(Sam makes sure to distract Tara for the week, hoping she never catches wind of the documentary. She doesn't want her to be reminded of their mother).

Ritchie watches it religiously, over and over. He puts things together. Billy Loomis had a daughter! Mother: Christina Carpenter. He hunts down every scrap of information he can find, and eventually it leads him to her.

He works alone. He's a director, just like Roman, a lone wolf - misunderstood, a genius. The puppeteer moving the pieces.

Despite all his research, this woman still manages to surprise him. She has a daughter. That can't be her daughter, Sam's too young... or does she take after her mother? No, he's missing something here. He uses his father's resources to discover the truth, a half-sister.

He can use that.

Sam is very cautious about Ritchie. Tara's been with her for nearly 5 years, but she's still so cautious around new people, and the last thing Sam wants to do is introduce someone into her life that may not stick around.

It takes six months of dating and pestering before Sam lets him meet Tara. He's as charming and friendly as he can possibly be, even brings her a gift. She doesn't like him, and stays curled into Sam's side the entire time, saying nothing. He feels Sam check out of their relationship after that, and he decides he's going to have to proceed with his movie despite it. It's fine, he can tell everyone they were madly in love, after all, only the survivors get to tell their story.

[felixcloud6288]

Higurashi: Massacre Chapter 18

It's wild how all the little details about Takano have all come together here.

We've known since Curse Killing that Takano drove down the main road with Tomitake's bike in the back, and we've known since Cotton Drifting that Takano's autopsy time-of-death was a day off. And now we know she was taking an unconscious Tomitake to where he would be found and Takano faked her death.

Since this isn't my first experience with the series, I don't actually get to enjoy trying to find the little clues and try to piece together everything. But I did have fun seeing all the little hints along the way that a reader could use. There was definitely enough evidence along the way to figure out most of the big reveal.

Takano straight up changed into a villain costume after the reveal.

I've been playing the part of someone who doesn't know what's going on when putting the pieces together and one speculation I offered was Takano, Tomitake, and later Irie were killed because of their affiliation with "Tokyo".

Well now we see that idea was partially correct. There is a rogue faction in "Tokyo" and killing Takano and Tomitake was done to frame Irie as the rogue unit instead. But we're cut off from what the reason for all this is.

Takano had a genuine moment of shock and I would say fear when Rika's prediction was right. She's a big occult fan and she loves the bloody stories about Hinamizawa and Oyashiro. And now she has a light reason to believe the god is real.

What was the original direction of Irie's research that they made something that could artificially induce Hinamizawa Syndrome and then decided to destroy it? Is this the "bomb" Takano said some people in "Tokyo" wanted to set off? Do they want to turn the research toward biological warfare?

And since part of the attempt to frame Irie involves claiming he's sold off his research, that can give the rogue "Tokyo" a way to justify acquiring this research even though it's officially ended. They could secretly fund the continuation of it and if it's ever found out, they can just claim the researchers are a black market organization that got the research from whatever avenues Irie sold it through.

That's some Umbrella Corporation stuff right there.

Ooishi is super competent when he's not trying to blame the Sonozakis for everything. He was completely on-point with everything in regards to Tomitake's murder. That's why he's Detective Delicious Ooishi!

But he is also kind of accidentally playing the old role that he always has with the Three Rules. He's not tying anything to the Sonozakis, but his interactions with Rika are beginning to have the same effect on her that always has happened to everyone he speaks to about the murder.

Operation Apocalypse is running as planned. Irie is fighting allegations against murdering Tomitake and Takano. And when Rika brought up Ooishi's speculation, Okonogi is quick to brush him off and tell Rika to trust him instead.

Rika says the Wild Dogs protecting her after Takano's death is a first. Of course, we know they're acting on Takano's orders to do so.

In every other timeline, Rule X always resulted in the destruction of Rika's support network if it didn't just cause her death. This is the first time Rika actually has people she can rely on to help her. And Okonogi is attempting to isolate Rika from them.

Just a reminder, despite having lived 100 years worth of time, Rika is still actually a child. She doesn't have the wisdom or emotional maturity that comes with age. And she's lived the same events so many times that this entirely new set of information is a bit overwhelming for her.

Rika has operated under the assumption that Takano was always killed due to Rule Y and Ooishi was always giving incorrect information due to Rule Z. These would combine to form Rule X.

If we go back to the Three Rules, we have an interesting inversion of them at this moment. Rika may be experiencing the suspicion and paranoia that normally accompanies the Rule X victim. But instead of it manifesting due to Rules Y and Z working as expected, it's manifesting because Rules Y and Z are not working this time.

Regardless, it would appear that Rule X or some variant of it is targeting Rika this time as she's starting to spiral into that fear that makes her unable to trust others.

(Psst. Rika. Your enemies are the people telling you to not talk to anyone.)

back

[i-donot-forget]

Heyyy, how are you doing? I don't know if you still write fanfictions nor if you take request at all but here i am lmao, anyway. If your requests are open because if they're not just ignore this, could you pleeeease write something with eric, my man needs more content because beemov clearly doesn't want to give us what we want, like something where we see how he proposed to candy? Have a nice day, kiss kiss <3

Duality

I really want to thank you, I haven't written for a long time and I had an idea in my head about this moment since I played the wedding episode, it seemed very rushed. I just couldn't bring myself to publish it. Besides, there will never be enough of Eric...

Hey Eric…

Nathaniel… I wasn't expecting your call.

Yeah well… it's not a social call, tell me are you busy?

No, I'm just finishing a stakeout.

It's Amy, she's at the hospital.

A shiver runs up my spine, my muscles tense until I'm completely immobilized, I can't speak.

She's fine, she was mugged, and apparently she hit her head, but she's not at ris-

My hand drops the phone and I step on the accelerator so hard that the car jerks violently forward, in the blink of an eye and I don't know how I get to the hospital, I walk nervously to the counter, my hands are sweating, shit I left the phone in the car… never mind. I ask for her and my voice sounds strange.

Are you Mr. Carello?

N-no…

Are you a relative?

No…

I'm sorry sir… but if you are not the emergency contact or a direct relative I can't give you any information.

I can't reply, I'm in shock, the words don't come out, my instincts are completely off, I don't know what to do. Suddenly a hand lands on my shoulder, some manicured nails belonging to a young woman with short platinum hair.

I'm Rosa, Amy's relative, I want to know how my sister is.

The young woman's voice is firm and determined, I believe her. I step aside helpless and useless, while she is accompanied by the nurse towards one of the corridors.

Eric?

A tall black-haired man with a serene expression approaches me.

Hi, I'm Leigh, Rosalya's boyfriend, why don't we go for a coffee? Rosa will join us as soon as she finishes.

My hands tremble and everything feels… distant, blurry, unreal, I'm completely disconnected from this situation, I don't know what to do, what should I do? The minutes pass and the young girl doesn't come back…

Honey, can you get me a cupcake, please?

We're alone… I clench my fists to control my trembling.

Hi Eric, I'm sorry I didn't greet you earlier, it all happened so fast…. Nathaniel called me and we… we ran…

I look up to stare at her, her eyes are slightly red, puffy, she was crying. Shit…

Amy is fine… She arrived here conscious, but a little confused, she was robbed, her cell phone was taken, she was beaten on the head and thrown against a dumpster….

I couldn't help but visualize every word of her narrative, the tremor in her voice and every gesture that accompanied them.

The doctor wants to leave her in observation tonight, I told them that when someone could come in to see her they should let you know.

I raise my eyes to her abruptly.

Thank you, Rosalya.

It's nothing… Tell me, did you call Lucia and Phillip?

N-no… I, I don't even have my phone here…

And I don't have her parents' number either, what a useless piece of shit you are…

Don't worry, it's nothing, I'll call them, okay?

She smiles warmly and puts her hand on mine before going to her boyfriend, I squeeze my hands together, my elbows on the table and lean my head on my fingers… Shit… Minutes pass and become hours, and the lack of answers pushes my sanity every second a little more….

Eric? We are leaving… Anything please call me, no matter what time it is, okay?

I nod and thank her for everything she did for Amy today, but there's no way to do it justice… Now alone, the minutes pass and become hours again, sometimes fast and sometimes eternal.

Hey…

Na-Nathaniel?

How is she?

I don't know… I mean, she's fine, but I haven't been able to see her yet…. She's in the middle of some exams or so I was told about 3 hours ago.

It's normal…

He sits next to me in silence, not looking at anything special, shit…

Do you want to go outside for a cigarette?

Do you?

Yeah… Why not.

But…

I'll let the nurse know we'll be by the door.

The hustle and bustle of the outside shakes me, I still feel… dazed… I take out and light a cigarette mimicking Nath.

And you… How are you?

I sigh at his question and we both watch the cloud of smoke I let out.

Fine, fine… I'll be better when I can see her…

Ok…

So he doesn't intend to cut himself, I'm almost sorry I taught him how to smell bullshit…

Well… the truth is that I've been standing here for five hours like a complete good-for-nothing.

It's not your fault… You can't do anything right now…

Ok…

She is strong and stubborn…

I know…

So?

I can't answer, it's not… fair to talk about this with him, shit…

What? Now you're going to respect the codes? It's a little late now buddy, don't you think?

It's not necessary…

I still… care for her, that's not going to change, I'm not going to get close to her, but I owe her, a lot. Is the only reason I'm here. And you?

What do you want me to say Nathaniel?

The truth is, for once, I think I fucking deserve it.

Of course you do, but do you really want to do it?

The damage is already done Eric… Nothing you can say will be worse than what Amy already told me.

I love her…

I exclaimed firmly, we were still standing next to each other and I didn't dare to turn in his direction, to look him in the eyes.

Yeah… Me too… What else?

I couldn't do anything for her… And I'm not talking about being her superhero and saving her from the thugs…. I couldn't even call her parents or sign a fucking medical release…. I'm nobody.

Then do something…

His answer made me turn to look at him, he put out his cigarette without looking at me and said goodbye after making me promise to let him know of any news.

The silence in the hospital room is so noisy, she calls me, she talks to me, she tells me that she is not well, her voice is missing, her laughter, her songs, her joy, I can't turn to see her wounded face without wondering if I could have done something to avoid this situation.

What is the problem, officer?

Her weak and tired voice gives me a slight start, I squeeze her hand and I give her a smile. I feel so beat…

Come on… Don't make that face, you should have seen how the guy looked.

I couldn't help but let out a sly snort.

I'm sorry for worrying you…

What? Me, worried? What are you talking about… I wasn't going to come, I told the nurse you could get home on your own, but she insisted… and here I am.

I commented casually without letting go of her hand, her exhausted eyes look at me, I feel her strength drained through the fragile grip of her fingers on mine.

Oh well, if you want… See you at home…

I shook my head smiling, I wish I could tell you that there is nothing in the world that can take me away from your side right now.

How are you feeling?

Mmmm, my head hurts… other than that, I am feeling fine.

She sighed and tried to sit up, I help her, carefully, without rushing.

Do you remember what happened?

It was already dark… I had forgotten to take out the garbage, I came out of the café and saw a huge pile of boxes… I wanted to sort them a little, I heard some guys in the alley, I didn't want to pay attention to them but when they passed by me one of them grabbed my arm, he told me that if I gave him my things they wouldn't do anything to me, I told him to let go and he pulled me hard, the other one took my phone and when I tried to get free… I think he hit me in the face, I fell down… head first against the corner of the counter, I touched my left eyebrow and there was blood on it, after that… I was very dazed, I don't remember how I got to the hospital…

What about those guys? What do you remember about them?

Not much… one was tall, dark-haired and had the right side of his head shaved… the other one… had tattoos all over his neck, I don't remember anything else, he wore a hood… You're not going to catch them, are you? Are you?

No, no… At this moment you are my only concern, but, we have to make the charges.

H-hey sweetie…

Hi, doll.

H-how are you?

Good, good, just finishing a patrol. How about you? Are you home already?

N-no… I… I didn't want to bother you but… I'm at the cafe… I tried to go out to take some boxes out and… I can't, I-I can't do it…

Don't move, I'll come and get you right away, okay? Don't worry, make yourself a cup of tea, I'm on my way, I'll take care of everything… you just try to relax.

I-I didn't mean to bother you… I really tried to get out b-but I can't…

Hey hey… it's okay… I'll be there in a moment, don't worry…

Thanks for coming for me…

It's nothing… Will you stay with me or shall I take you to Alex's?

Can I stay with you?

Sure, you know you don't have to ask.

Thank you…

She answered muffled, cornered in the passenger seat, looking small and delicate…

Here.

Curled up on my bed, she held motionless the cup of tea I prepared for her, her distracted eyes staring into nothingness, reflective, it wasn't hard to guess what thoughts roamed her mind.

Amy… Would you like to go on a trip… with me?

A trip? What kind of trip?

Her face lit up.

Nothing too big… I was just thinking that it's been a long time since I've made use of my vacation and I think we could both use a weekend getaway.

I am honored.

Walking hand in hand along a path surrounded by nothing but nature, I felt like I was in a dream, trying unsuccessfully to remember another moment in my life that was so peaceful… so perfect, her smile illuminated the whole landscape and the energy she gives off, contagious and joyful, drew a smile impossible to erase on my lips… Is this… all this real?

My free hand fumbles in my pocket, trembling, hesitant, anxious, and the secret it hides reaffirms to me that this is not a dream.

I definitely needed this, thank you for inviting me.

It's nothing… It wouldn't be the same without you, you're the best part of the trip….

What do you say, aren't you absolutely amazed by this?

She steps forward and I watch her breathe the nature, explore, contemplate, simply enjoy and her figure melted in the greenery that surrounds us seems to complete the landscape.

Amy…

What's the problem, officer?

She turns to me carefree, bathed by the petals falling from the trees around us. Shit, it's time, I take her hands in mine and notice the suspicion in her eyes, expectant.

You know I love you, right?

I think I've heard you say it a couple of times.

She says with a playful tone, smiling.

I have to ask you a question and I need you to be completely honest with me….

Ok… You have my entire attention.

Our way here has not been easy, but without a doubt you are the best decision I have made in my life, I know I love you forever, I know we have all our lives and I feel this duality…. I am not in a hurry but I want you to count on me, I don't care if we don't live together, I just want you to talk to me when you need to, without thinking that you are bothering me or interrupting me… I want you to know that I am here for you, unconditionally… I want to be your emergency contact, I want to meet your parents… I want to be "us" forever…

Mute, with her eyes locked on me shining with what I hope is excitement, I slide my hand into my pocket where I hope, is the moment my life… our life… begins. I swallow and open the small box revealing the ring inside.

If you want…

Her silence stops my breathing, my heart and time itself, I can't take my eyes off hers in this eternal instant.

Yes Yes I do! Of course I do.

You really do?

Yes! I mean… I love you Eric, and I know that being with you is what I want, I have no doubts about it.

Don't you think that's a bit rash?

Maybe, I don't know. Who cares?

Anxiously I put the ring on her trembling finger as tears escape her eyes.

You still have time to repent.

What? Are you mad? You're stuck with me forever.

Good…

Her arms wrap around my neck, with a soft and gentle touch, just as she can, I grip her waist sealing this unforgettable moment with a kiss that steals my breath away.

[rathayibacter]

thinking a lot about how IMMORTALITY squeezes a ton of meaning out of being a game. like, theoretically, you could get all the same themes and significance from watching all the footage once or twice, in order, all the way through. after all, that's kinda how previous game by the studio Her Story was: there was a full picture, and it was waiting for you to put all the pieces together so you could see it.

but IMMORTALITY's a bit different. the thing that you perceive to be the big mystery actually isn't that hard to solve, and is really just a couple stops to check off along your much longer journey of understanding. and so much of that is thanks to the specific mechanic of how you uncover new clips. you click on something in the shot, and you're brought to another shot with the same object, or a shot related to that object, or a shot thematically linked to that object. you're navigating via the Kuleshov Effect, and that means you're constantly, inevitably creating meaning through how you interact with the game.

like, super minor, non-spoiler-y example: there's a set of scenes connected by a cat. you see a cat in one scene and click on it, and you're taken to the rehearsal of a scene that will have that cat, but they aren't using the animal actor yet cuz it's just rehearsal. you're brought to the moment that an actress is leaning down and petting where the cat will be, at some point, later. it's a cute little move by the game designers, cuz yeah, these scenes are connected by that cat you clicked on, but not literally, only in the final product.

but then i clicked on the space where the cat would be, and it took me to another scene, once again with the actual cat. and isn't that funny. isn't that interesting. of course it makes sense in hindsight, right? we're traveling via cinematic language, and in rehearsal there's no difference between a cat and an empty bit of floor where the script tells you a cat will be. you gotta treat that empty space like there's a cat there, or else the whole thing falls apart.

this isn't a significant moment in the game. none of the three clips involved really matter that much. but like, at the same time, by connecting these three pretty empty filler scenes in this way, by taking you from a cat to a not-cat to a cat, and telling you that they're all equivalent, the game is making a pretty strong thematic declaration, one that would be completely absent if you'd just watched these three clips separately, in the parts of the movie that they belong in.

not every player is gonna read that deeply into this moment, just as i havent read this deeply into most of the other connections ive made in my so-far 12 and a half hours with the game. some folks will read something completely different into it (there's a pretty fun discussion you could have about it happening in 2 Of Everything specifically, playing into the mistaken identities plot via Schrödinger's cat). some players won't even find that connection at all! there's enough redundancy in everything here that nobody needs to find every possible point of interaction to finish or understand the game. and all that's kinda the beauty of it, right? there's a million ways to examine this text, to work your way through the enormous tower of information you're presented with, and every single one of those paths is gonna create unique meaning. they've taken the process of interpreting art and made it a game mechanic, without hamstringing the actual act of interpretation in the process. the game says "hey, in order to see everything, you're gonna have to make connections," but never forces your hand in what those connections have to be. it's absolutely fascinating.

[rutilation]

This latest chapter reminded me that I have thoughts about this guy. And by thoughts, I mean questions. But, before I ask those questions, I want to share my thoughts about a few other side characters in Part 2. I have a point I wish to make through them:

Miri has been used, abused, and dehumanized his whole life. It makes him suffer, but it's also as ubiquitous and imperceptible to him as water is to a fish. After Makima died, he tried to drag himself into the light, and take back control of his life, but he ended up backsliding into old habits, and wound up neck deep in a violent cult--new window dressing on the same old shit.

Fumiko deeply despises Chainsaw Man for not saving her parents, but sublimates that hatred into pity for Denji. When he's toeing Public Safety's line, she squeezes him like he's her personal stress ball, alternately degrading him and flattering him, all while telling herself she's protecting poor, scared little boy who was forced to become Chainsaw Man. But, when the chips are down, she takes every opportunity she can to twist the knife in Denji's back, and exact her vengeance.

We don't know a single detail of Barem's past, but it's nonetheless clear that he's like a version of Denji that couldn't bring himself to break free of Makima. He's a true believer in the worldview she created to rationalize her own inability to connect with others. He wants that perfect world, with no bad movies, where he never has to think or make decisions for himself. He hates Denji for taking that possibility away from him, and he hates Nayuta for outgrowing Makima.

None of these characters have had a huge amount of focus or backstory in the grand scheme of things. But, while they are rough sketches, drawn with few lines, they're still complete sketches. And, whether or not they ever get any more meat on their bones, I can confidently say I know what makes them tick.

We have not, however, gotten a complete sketch of Yoshida, rough or otherwise--just disparate puzzle pieces that don't yet fit together.

Yoshida keeps his cards close to his chest, but one thing about him that is painfully obvious is that his brain currently exists at the bottom of a crab bucket. From being crowded by speech bubbles full of excuses for his loneliness, to affirming to Denji that alienation is the heart of normalcy, to him losing his cool when Denji says he wants both his normal and superhero life, it's crystal clear how much he doesn't want to imagine a better world, not for himself, nor for anyone else, and how much he resents any notion to the contrary.

What has me confused atm is trying to square that with his apparent attitude and outlook during Part 1. He didn't seem happy per se, but he was definitely way more carefree than he is now. In particular, his scene with Kishibe seems to stand in stark opposition to his current situation. What I got out of that conversation was that he was well aware of plots and conspiracies surrounding Makima and Public Safety, and was feeling smug about the fact that none of it affected him--he had finals to worry about, you see. But, somewhere between parts 1 and 2, he went from haughtily observing the crab bucket from on high, to being at the bottom of it. How did that happen? And just what is the true nature of this bucket?

To speak in less metaphorical terms: If his new job at Public Safety makes him miserable, why doesn't he just quit? He could certainly make it as a civilian devil hunter. And, given how he was willing stand by and watch as Yuko killed a bunch of his fellow students, I doubt he's in the bucket out of a sense of altruism or duty. Based on the information we've been given, he shouldn't feel the need to put himself through any of this. He has no reason to be Public Safety's Saddest Middle-Manager. So why is he? Out of all the questions I have, I feel this one is the most glaring. This, right here, is the puzzle piece being withheld.

Another question I have: why are he and Fumiko 2 different characters? On the face of it, from a writing perspective, they're seemingly fulfilling the same functions in the story. They're both projecting hard onto Denji, they're both being so very parasocial about it, they're both stand-ins for Public Safety's tyranny, they both betray our protagonists, siding with authority when the chips are down, and they are both. such. cops.

Their only difference is their respective attitudes--where Fumiko approaches her role with gleeful cruelty, Yoshida does so with sour-grapes resignation. I don't feel, though, that such a difference would be enough on its own to warrant making them two separate characters. So, why are they? The only reason I can come up with is that the two of them are eventually going to end up in very different positions, thus necessitating two different characters. One of them needs to be a bastard forever, because The State is always going to be a bastard forever, and between the two of them, Fumiko is the more motivated bastard.

That's the main reason I believe that the general fandom expectation of Yoshida having some sort of redemption arc down the line has weight to it, and isn't *merely* the result of fans automatically siding with--and ascribing unearned depth to--the biggest twink in the room. That said, I would like to point out that just because he seems likely to eventually break with Public Safety, does not necessarily mean his endpoint is going to be sympathetic, or heroic, or conducive to shipping; it's just going to be different from Fumiko's.

Finally, standing above these questions is a broader question: why is Fujimoto stringing us along like this with regard to Yoshida? All those other characters I talked about made total sense within ten chapters of their introduction, so why not him? What's the point of making Yoshida a puzzle in the first place, of withholding answers for this long?

The longer this particular shoe takes to drop, the more convinced I am that it's going to end up being a bombshell. After being left in suspense for this long, I'll be disappointed if it isn't.

[e17omm]

My thoughts on Penacony act 1 (spoilers):

Just finished with the first Penacony quest, and I think it was a mess of good quests.

What I mean is that, I dont think I should be thinking "this is a really good event quest" and "this is a really good character quest" in the main story.

And Firefly's death? The fact they tried to hammer in the emotional damage with the picture after her 1 minute death scene - that part made me laugh. They are trying so hard.

Well, sorry Hoyo, but you're not getting a free Himeko that easily. I've know this girl for half a day and basically her entire character is screaming "death flags!" in my face.

You cant make me feel sad about the death of a character that is created to be killed off. The sad part about deaths in stories is that it robs the character of everything they could have been. When you have a character that could have continued their arc, but its cut off before that can happen - thats emotional. When deaths have deep impacts on the other characters - thats emotional. But I doubt Firefly's death is going to impact the Trailblazer after a few main story quests. They're going to be sad about her death now, but we did not know her long enough for it to have any long-term impact on our character arc.

Killing off a character that is screaming "I AM GOING TO DIE OR SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME!!" in basically every scene isnt emotional. They're just fulfilling their purpose to die. (Not to mention we meet her halfway through the quest and she is killed off in that very same quest. Imagine if HI3 Himeko was introduced in chapter 9 and Final Lesson was a minute long.)

I also dont really like how blindly and quickly trusting the Trailblazer has become. And just, the ignoring of any possible threats to us. We hear that something is up with Penacony from Welt and Himeko, so what do we do when we get into the dreamscape? Fuck around. Play fair games. Hang out with this girl we just met who wants to take us to her secret spot outside of the safe area of the dreamscape. Not-Sampo comes up and straight up tells us that something is wrong with the dreamscape and we do absolutely nothing with that information.

I know how negative all that sounds, but I actually really liked the individual parts of the quest.

Just not, together. The tour thing with Firefly feels like an event quest with all the damn gimmicks and minigames we're getting tutorials about. And when we go to her secret spot it feels like a character quest. And had those parts been that - an event quest and a character quest - that would have been fine.

But its in the main story? It feels so out of place.

Back to the thing about trust - I feel like the presentation has really fallen in quality. From the stiffness of animations outside of cutscenes, but now the voicelessness of the Trailblazer is really harming the scenes.

Because it barely feels like they can think for themselves. We never have a moment to ourselves to think through that, holy shit Stelle, EVERYONE AROUND YOU MIGHT BE LYING. The only person we should trust the most is ourselves - not even the other members of the Astral Express can be fully 100% blindly trusted because we got a red illusionist on the ship!

But we dont get any inner monologues about that - we just go along with what everyone else says. Or; whoever we decide to trust the most in that moment.

TL;DR I liked most of everything in isolation. I liked all the pieces, but I didnt like it when they all got put together. And the presentation is starting to suffer. Mainly the stiff animations and the lack of inner monologues for the Trailblazer in MANY situations where we shouldnt be blindly trusting everyone around us.

[gregorygerwitz]

more 2011 au thoughts pretty please? or just cozy trio thoughts in general thank youuuu

⚡

Hi again, nonny!

I don't have a lot of thoughts about the 2011 AU this week because I kind of... stopped thinking about it? I spiraled into a new cozy trio AU that I'm still fleshing out a bit. But! I have thoughts about... I guess "general" cozy trio. It's not my main cozy trio 'verse that I write in, because it follows canon a bit more, but I have been thinking a lot about how Hailey and Mouse would react and cope with Jay leaving in 10x03 if cozy trio was established instead of just Upstead?

First of all, the three of them would have talked about it, there would be no Jay making this decision and telling them on his way out the door. He'd recognize how he feels and what he wants is so similar to what Mouse did back in s4, and the two of them would have a separate discussion about it and what a decision like that means. Obviously, Mouse isn't going to stop him from going if that's what he wants, and he's there to be supportive when Jay explains it all to Hailey, too - because there's a lot of thought and reasoning that went into it, and it requires a lot of discussion, and communication. yes, they all sit in the big bed for this discussion because it's comfortable and it's their safe space even when Jay is hurting and has to leave them for a little while

also the idea of Jay starting his initial conversation with Mouse with "I've been thinking about going back in" the way Mouse started it with him in 4x02... thinking thoughts and feeling feelings

and he absolutely doesn't extend his rotation he keeps it to the 8 month timeline they originally discussed and agreed upon because I understand why canon did it but that doesn't mean I have to adhere to it too

Mouse is very worried when Hailey works so much and rarely comes home. he recognizes that it's how she's coping with all these feelings, but it's still worrying. he definitely lingers at the front desk "to talk to Trudy" for a while every night until he knows what unit Hailey's working with and where she's gonna be so he can listen to a police scanner when he gets home and keep an eye on her, that way.

The stuff with O'Neil still happens, just slightly different because having Mouse there adds a whole new layer to all of it in a really fun way (for me, not for him).

During the initial case that brings O'Neil to them, before anyone realizes he's up to something. Mouse is definitely intrigued by Safe Place and its purpose - because he's kind of... been in the same place as most of those kids? he wasn't a teenager when he was on the streets and doing drugs and needed help, but he was still young, and the idea of kids even younger than him being in that position hurts. so, if Hailey is going to be out at all hours throwing himself into work, he can spend one evening bringing some of the extra blankets and non-perishable food from the house to Safe Place (with a check, because he was raised by Thelma and Gregory and the Gerwitzes fix everything with money and he has disposable income again which is probably dangerous but it's fine he has good intentions)

The night he's over there talking to Sean and dropping everything off is, in fact, the night Hailey is in the garage (and his tech cage) back at the district putting all the pieces together. The next day, when Hailey and Voight find out where he was (because Mouse is still concerned when she doesn't go home and he definitely mentioned getting home late, himself) he kind of gets... pulled into the more dangerous side of the investigation.

Mouse is very used to the "safer" parts of cases - checking digital trails, finding information, just sitting in his cage with his snacks and his computers - but now they're asking him to act in an undercover capacity to get information on/from Sean and what he's doing. Because he established himself as a face that has a reason to be seen around the building because he may or may not have offered his time if they need an extra volunteer on his days off from the CPD.

*muffled Vigilante Shit by Taylor Swift*

at least they'll have a fun story to tell Jay when he gets home??? that definitely won't give him an anxiety attack because both of his partners decided to put themselves into a really dangerous and extremely risky situation??? I'm sure he'll be fine with it.

[my-brothers-corrupted]

Thank you for letting us see you again, you are all so beautiful and doing so good. Even in the dark times there will be singing… Even when you’re having lows and hurting, you’ve all grown so much and found pieces of you that were taken. When I look at you, I only see Jackie, Marvin, Chase, Henrik, and Jameson - the things Anti tried to make you into never mattered. Your brains made you shelters and safeguards under those names, sure, but not a single one of you ‘died’. You’ve always been you, just you. And I’m very glad you have the safety to be yourselves freely now!

Everybody's about fallen asleep by the time JJ gets up and grabs his backpack, signing something about going to put on pajamas. As he rises, he glances around, grinning at Jackie half-buried against Max's chest, Chase and Marvin covered in popcorn bits from the war they started over the remote, and Henrik drowsily petting Noodle. They're all bandaged up now, tired and sore, but full, cozy, together.

No, they did not die. Here they are. And JJ, who has caught glimpses of other possibilities in dreams, in fragments, he knows that that is a lucky thing, a beautiful thing - and that you were a great part of it. It's why he couldn't leave you behind today. They were created under your gaze. Shouldn't you witness every rebirth?

Jameson wanders back to his room, putting down his pack and beginning to take out the things he brought: a well-used medical kit, snacks, an extra camera, an old gold knife once melted down to the hilt, and that file that Quintrell gave him, marked with the symbol for the British Magical Order. He pauses to open the file, glancing through it and setting it down on his desk, only then remembering that your camera is still there, looking at him.

"Ah," he says. "You've caught my last mystery. But that we must save for another time. It will take a lot of discussion between all of us to decide what to do. If you see him, though, say hi to him, okay? Being able to keep him safe was the greatest thing I ever did - but I took his creations from him, too, and the more time goes on, the more I begin to feel it must be remedied."

The first page inside the folder has a familiar face smiling at you, marked at the top with the words "Class Twelve Magician - Non-Native Resident - UNAWARE, DO NOT ENGAGE."

Beneath it is Sean's name and contact information, including an address in Brighton, just a mirror's journey away.

"That will have to be all for now, my friends," Jameson tells you. "I better get my brothers to bed. Take care of yourselves, won't you? What would your cameras say to you if they could watch you through the dark times? I think they would tell you to be very kind to yourself. And that better things will come, and come, and come, every time the darkness seeps in again. And have you eaten? And have you slept? And do you know that nothing you have done makes you unworthy of peace and affection and a warm cat in your lap? Those are the things you've always told us, no matter what."

He's looking away now, looking up at the stars through his window, and you can tell his mind is already drifting to other things. To the future, to his brothers, to the order he will lead and the people he will care for, to his first real girlfriend, who might let her kiss him again if he's gentle, to everything that could be and will be and stretches before him like a path through meadows and mountains.

"Yes," he signs distantly. "I'll have to let you go. It's bedtime, and then morning will come, and so, so many things with it. Isn't that exciting?"

They turn the cameras off one by one. In the living room, they are hugging each other good night, and Peanut is licking the popcorn bowl.

End continuation.