#and what about Elijah and Baz?

[crazy-loca-blog]

So many thoughts on OH On Fire, but I just stayed at home to read the chapter and now I have to go and do some errands, so... later!

[cariantha]

Drink Had Me

Book: Open Heart, Book 2 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Sawyer Brooks) Rating: Teen Category: Fluff Word count: 3.3K Prompt: Ethan has too much to drink and winds up on Sawyer’s doorstep in the middle of the night. Event: I’m participating in the Song Rewrite Challenge hosted by @choicesprompts. This fic is a rewrite of Drink Had Me by Jordan Davis.

🎵Hell, I was up to nothing

🎵Just sittin' home alone

🎵Yeah, I was gonna cash it in

🎵About to put down my phone

🎵And I had a message waitin'

🎵Them boys won't let me sleep

🎵So I told 'em I would meet 'em out

🎵And just have one drink

Ethan was mentally and physically exhausted. He could feel the stress he’d been carrying deep in his bones. His muscles sighed as he sunk into the comfort of his couch and rested his head on the back cushion. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, enjoying the peace and quiet of his empty apartment. 

He tried to push aside the thoughts that had plagued him. The budget crisis. The selfish billionaire. The competition with Tobias. The situation with his mother. But mostly, it was Sawyer that occupied his mind. He worried that the constant push and pull between them was nearing a breaking point.

She had recently gone behind his back and opened Pandora’s box. She compromised the team’s mission. She called him a “goddamn diva” in front of his colleagues. Worst still, it’s what she said when helping him set up his Pictagram profile. “It’s love, Ethan. It doesn’t have to make sense. I guess you just… feel it.” The words nagged at him constantly, and not because she was probably right - like she was right about everything else - but because he felt something. Something unfamiliar. Something scary. Something he hoped was reciprocated. 

DING! That sound used to annoy him, but now it made him eager to check his phone, because there was only one person who insisted on texting him. Quickly reaching for his phone, he sighed disappointedly when he saw the message was not from Sawyer.

Ethan groaned. He had forgotten that this morning, while working out with his gym buddies, he made plans to meet them at Donahue's for drinks and a game of pool. In an attempt to rouse Rafael from his suspension-induced funk, Sawyer proposed the night out. And in all honesty, Ethan only agreed because he saw it as an opportunity to spend time with her. It was only after he committed to attend that Sawyer bothered to mention she had prior plans with Stephanie, their coma patient.   

Ethan arrived at Donohue’s thirty minutes later and swore to himself he would only stay for one drink.

“... and then she said, ‘Oh, would you prefer to be called a spoiled child or an entitled jackass?’ You should have seen your face, man.” Baz, who had wandered over earlier to say hello, couldn’t contain his laughter as he told the story of Sawyer calling Ethan a diva to everyone gathered around the pool table.  

Rolling his eyes, Ethan ordered another drink while the guys racked the pool balls for another game.

“... speaking of workouts... Raf, remember when you asked Sawyer why she liked to work out? And she said because she wants to look good naked. Dude. Best response ever,” Bryce recalled with a laugh as he shared another round of tequila shots.

Ethan gladly accepted, swallowing the cheap liquor in one gulp when the memory of Sawyer standing in front of his bedroom window came to mind. 

Every time Sawyer’s name was mentioned, which was surprisingly often, Ethan put a glass to his mouth. Better that than inadvertently slipping and revealing something he shouldn’t.

“Okay, time for a round of Fuck-Marry-Kill,” Bryce announced, earning a groan from Rafael. “Since you’re so excited to play, Raf, you can go first. JLo, Shakira, Taylor.”

“Easy. Fuck JLo. Marry Shakira. Kill Taylor,” Rafael answered. After taking a sip of beer, he turned to Elijah. “Your turn. Lara Croft, Leeloo from Fifth Element, and umm… Jamie Lee Curtis' character in Halloween.”

“Damn, man. Uhhh…” Elijah twisted up his lips as he pondered his answer. “I guess I’d fuck Croft, marry Leeloo, and go all Michael Myers on JLC.”

Raising his hand excitedly, Baz jumped in. “Oh, oh, I’ve got one for Ethan… Harper, June, and Sawyer.”

The other men snapped their heads to Ethan, bracing for the explosive impact. But to everyone’s surprise, Ethan threw back another shot and answered without hesitation. “Fuck Harper. Marry Sawyer. Kill June.” 

Reggie made the announcement for last call, and at midnight he kicked everyone out, including Ethan. The inebriated men stumbled outside to wait for their rides. Ethan decided to walk for a while, and bid them good night. He strolled down the block until he reached the rose garden near the hospital. Resting on a park bench, he dug his phone from his pocket. But instead of dialing for a ride to take him home, he called Sawyer.

🎵But the drink had me

🎵Callin' you up, talkin' all crazy

🎵Talkin' 'bout us

🎵And catchin' a ride over to your room

🎵And keepin' your roommates up past two

Sawyer’s phone lit up on her nightstand with an incoming call, but she didn’t notice. She had fallen asleep a couple hours ago.

On the other end of the line, Ethan heard her voice. “Hi there, you’ve reached Sawyer. Leave me a message.”

“Sawyer,” he sighed before continuing, “I don’t want to lose you.”

Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the phone screen. Sawyer’s contact picture smiled back at him. “I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole lately. I just… I want you so fucking bad,” he confessed. “I need you to be with me.”

He dropped his chin to his chest in defeat and growled. “But I can’t have you.”

He took a deep breath and lifted his head to look at her picture again. “I’ve been losing my goddamn patience with this situation. I don’t want to push you away anymore. It kills me to know that I’m hurting you, but I’m still afraid of what might happen if people find out about us.”

Ethan stood and held the phone at eye level as if trying to look her in the eye. “I feel like I’m on the verge of losing you, Sawyer.”

He began to pace back and forth and rambled on. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said a couple weeks ago. It really fucked me up, because I don’t think I’ve felt like this before.”

“God, Sawyer, you’re the best I’ve ever had,” he admitted, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want anyone else.”

He closed his eyes and whispered to himself. “Sawyer, say it back. Please say it back to me. I don’t want to be alone in this feeling.”

There was a long pause while Ethan stared at his phone, hoping for some sort of reply. “Fuck it. I’m coming over.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

It was nearly two o’clock in the morning when there was a knock on the apartment door. Sienna, who was still up baking, checked the peep hole and unlocked the door. “Dr. Ramsey! What are you doing here so late?”

His eyes were bloodshot and he smelled of whiskey and beer. The drink and exhaustion rapidly stripped away what little control of himself he had left. Ethan steadied himself with a hand on the doorframe and answered, “I need to talk to Sawyer. I need to see her. Is she here?”

Sienna invited him in. With her five-foot-nothing frame, she nervously guided the towering and swaying six-foot-four-inch sack of muscles into a seat at the kitchen table. “I’ll be right back.”

Gently knocking first, Sienna let herself into Sawyer’s room. “Sawyer? Sawyer, wake up,” she whispered loudly.

Sawyer awoke with a start, finding Sienna crouched at the side of her bed. “What’s wrong?” she panicked.

“Ummmm… Dr. Ramsey is here.”

“What?” she asked, confused.

“He said he needs to speak with you,” Sienna explained.

Sawyer threw her covers aside and stumbled out of bed wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. She quickly checked the time on her phone, noticing the missed call and voicemail notifications from Ethan. “I swear to God, if he’s here to drag me out of bed for another diagnostics case…” she trailed off.

“I don’t think that’s why,” her friend said, leading her down the hallway.

Once her eyes adjusted to the fluorescent lighting in the kitchen, Sawyer spotted Ethan sitting at the kitchen table, his head buried in his hands. His body language reminded her of the times when he had felt pretty hopeless, like when Dolores died and when Naveen was sick. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Ethan lifted his head and let out a small sigh of relief recognizing her. “I wanted to talk to you,” he said, his voice tired and gravelly.

She followed his eyes to Sienna, who had gone back to her baking. “Let’s go to my room.”

Ethan stood and followed her down the hall. A sudden wave of dizziness washed over him and he threw himself against the wall to keep from stumbling over. Sawyer grimaced at the loud thump, hoping it didn’t wake her other roommates. She quickly tucked herself under his arm and helped him the rest of the way.

Just as her door clicked closed, Jackie poked her head into the hallway. “What the hell was that?” she called out.

Sienna came into view from the kitchen. “Sorry, Jackie, that was me. Sorry I woke you.”

“Do you ever sleep, Trinh?” Jackie yawned, shutting her door and going back to bed.

🎵The drink had me

🎵Wantin' one more

🎵Wantin' to forget what we broke up for

🎵And doin' that make up, wake up thing

🎵I just went in there to have one drink

🎵But the drink had me

Sawyer sat Ethan down on the side of her bed, then stood in front of him casually crossing her arms. “What’s going on? Did something happen? Is this about your mom?”

His head felt like a sloshing fishbowl when he shook it. Focusing on her bare feet, he attempted to ground himself.

Getting more worried, Sawyer stroked her fingers through his hair. “Hey, talk to me.”

Slowly lifting his head, Ethan’s eyes trailed up her long legs to the oversized Hopkins t-shirt she wore. “Is that my shirt?”

Glancing down at the heather gray tee, she replied with a hint of embarrassment, “Yes.”

Sawyer braced her hands on his shoulders to keep her balance when Ethan tugged her close. Standing between his knees, he hugged her tightly around the waist and rested the side of his face against her stomach.

“I miss you,” he mumbled.

A beat later his hands dropped to the back of her thighs. His fingertips lightly caressed her soft skin, eliciting goosebumps. Lifting his eyes to gauge her reaction, he slowly slid his hands higher, palming her backside and giving a gentle squeeze.

“Ethan,” she warned, gripping his forearms to prevent his hands from wandering any further.

“I want you,” he said, kissing her belly through the t-shirt she had stolen from him.

“Ethan, you’re drunk.”

“Say it back,” he whined.

“Say what back?”

“That you still want me.”

She sighed deeply. “Ethan…” When he looked at her with desperate, pleading eyes, she took a seat on his knee. “I want you too,” she repeated and cupped his cheek, “but not like this. Not a drunken mistake.”

“It’s not a mistake,” Ethan asserted. “I know what I want.”

She shook her head. “I know you, Ethan. You’ll regret it in the morning when you’re clearheaded.”

Ethan began to protest when the nausea hit. “I won’t… I–,” he paused and swallowed, “I’m going to be sick.”

Sawyer jumped off his lap and grabbed her garbage pail just in time. Ethan wretched the contents of his stomach while she soothingly rubbed his back. When he was finished, Sawyer offered him a tissue and a sip from her water bottle. She then knelt before him and removed his shoes and socks.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you ready for bed. You’re in no shape to go anywhere right now. You can stay here and sleep it off.” As she stood, she reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. “Scoot back and lie down,” she instructed. Ethan complied.

She met his hooded eyes, giving him a look of warning. “Don’t get any ideas,” she said before unbuttoning his pants. “Lift your butt.” After carefully tugging off his jeans, she neatly folded his clothes and set them atop her dresser. Returning to his side, she tucked him under the covers.

“Where are you going?” he murmured when she stepped toward the door.

“I’m just going to clean this up and grab you some aspirin,” she answered, picking up the small waste bin. “Do you need or want anything else?”

Ethan shook his head.

“I’ll be right back,” she promised with an assuring smile.

When Sawyer returned a few minutes later, Ethan’s eyes were closed and he was lightly snoring. She turned out the lights and crawled under the covers. Hugging the edge of her full-size bed, she resisted the urge to curl up next to him, and soon dozed off.

🎵Next morning came too early

🎵Heart poundin' in my head

🎵And it took me just a second

🎵To realize I know this bed

🎵And it ain't where I belong

🎵But you got my T-shirt on

🎵I blame the alcohol

🎵No, it ain't my fault

🎵The drink had me

Ethan’s head throbbed. The sound of distant, muffled voices had woken him. He cracked his eyes open, thankful for the dim surroundings. Blinking away the fog in his vision, he focused on the ceiling. There was something familiar about the dangling light fixture overhead. A single lightbulb hung from a rope cord. The gentle breeze that wafted through the window caused it to sway back and forth in a hypnotizing motion. Aware that he was not at home, Ethan’s eyes swept the small bedroom, taking in every detail. As recognition set in, his heart began to race, intensifying the pounding in his head.

Taking a deep breath through his nose, his senses were overwhelmed with the sweet smell of her. Daring to cast a quick look downward, he found Sawyer tucked into his side. Her arm was draped across his torso, her thigh across his waist, with a foot nestled between his legs. Ethan’s right arm was at her back, holding her close. His left hand gripped the back of her bent knee, as if he had been using the leverage to keep her locked in place. She was wearing his t-shirt, and he was only wearing underwear.

He reached into the black box of his mind for any remembrance, but came back empty handed. He didn’t know what to be more upset about. The eventual fallout from this reckless encounter, or the cruel twist of fate of taking Sawyer to bed again and not remembering a damn thing about it.

When her alarm rang out, Ethan silently cursed. “No, not yet.” He needed more time to figure his way out of this mess. More time holding her body against his.

Sawyer groaned in frustration as her phone sang a melodic tune of chirping birds. As she did every morning, she buried the tip of her cold nose into her pillow and inhaled. Only it wasn’t her pillow she smooshed her face into this morning. It was Ethan’s chest. His warmth and scent aroused her senses, and she was instantly awake.

Seeing that he was too, she pushed back from him and tried to cover herself with the forgotten comforter. “Shit, sorry,” she whispered, rolling away to silence her phone.

Her surprise and embarrassment confused him. “Why are you apologizing?”

She turned to face him, making sure to keep a safe distance. “I tried to keep to my side. I must have rolled over in my sleep and snuggled up to you.”

“Keep to your side? Did we not…?”

She shook her head.

Ethan looked up at the ceiling and expelled a breath.

Sensing his relief, Sawyer swiftly climbed out of bed. “I’m going to get ready for work. Your clothes are on the dresser and your phone is charging on the desk. My roommates should be leaving soon.”

“Sawyer-”

“It’s fine, Ethan,” she said, rummaging through her dresser drawers. “We can talk about it later when you feel better. Or if you prefer, not at all, because nothing happened.” Ethan rubbed the spot between his eyes. “There's some water and aspirin on the nightstand,” she pointed out before stepping into the hall and closing the door behind her.

A while later, they left the apartment and shared a ride to the hospital, successfully avoiding the topic of last night. They limited their conversation to simple questions and one-word answers, merely enough to get out the door and on their way.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Sawyer said, and not waiting for reciprocation, she hurried away.

Ethan watched until she disappeared through the sliding doors of the hospital’s main entrance. He cursed at himself the entire walk to Donohue’s to retrieve his car. They may not have slept together, but he still ended up on her doorstep last night and tangled in her bed this morning. He hoped once the hangover cleared, he would remember why, so they could clear the air.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Sawyer was slow to leave the diagnostics office when their team meeting ended the next day. The tension between her and Ethan was so thick it felt like it could be cut with a knife. She couldn’t take it anymore. She turned to study him, watching as he stacked case files, doing his best to ignore her. “This feels like the morning after Miami all over again,” she finally spoke.

Ethan stopped what he was doing, took a deep breath, and braced himself for the conversation he had been dreading. “I’m sorry for inconveniencing you the other night.”

She shook her head as if she didn’t care about that. Shifting her gaze out the window, she bit the corner of her lip before speaking again. “Do you remember calling me? Leaving a voicemail?”

Ethan swallowed hard. He had checked his phone yesterday and knew that he dialed her number, but didn’t recall leaving a message. “No. I only remember bits and pieces after leaving Donahue’s.” He took a cautious step toward her. “What... what did I say?” he asked, trying to hide his nerves.

“It doesn't matter,” she sighed, still looking out the window, “you probably didn't mean it.” She downplayed her disappointment with a quiet chuckle, “I never pegged you for a sappy drunk.”

Ethan stepped in front of her, cupping her chin to force her to look at him. “I meant it,” he said firmly.

“You just said you don’t remember–”

“I don't,” he interjected, “but if the result was me showing up at your door, and waking up with you in my arms, then whatever I said… I meant it.” Gazes locked on each other, Ethan gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. He breathed a sigh of relief when Sawyer’s lips finally turned up in a small, forgiving smile.

That smile slowly changed to a mischievous one. Ceasing the opportunity, she started to back away as she spoke. “Well in that case…" She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “I want to get married in June. A fancy church wedding and a huge reception. Oh, and let’s honeymoon in Paris! It will be so romantic.”

“Funny–”

“But you should know, I plan to keep my last name,” she continued teasing.

“You’re a brat. Get out of here,” he demanded, playfully tossing a pen in her direction as she scrambled to leave.

“Hey!” she yelped, using the door as a shield.

“Oh, and I want my shirt back!” he hollered.

Poking her head back in, she offered a deal. “If you can get me out of it, Ramsey... it’s yours. See ya!”

A/N: Ethan's drunken confession was also inspired by the song Say It Back by Nicklas Sahl.

Tag List: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @peonierose@potionsprefect @trappedinfanfiction @jerzwriter @queencarb @coffeeheartaddict2 @quixoticdreamer16 @jamespotterthefirst @liaromancewriter @zealouscanonindeer @tveitertotwrites @tessa-liam @youlookappropriate @kyra75 @socalwriterbee @txemrn

[coffeeheartaddict2]

Everybody hurts Sometimes (5/?)

End of the road

Book: Open Heart (AU)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine

Word count: 2584

Warnings: sexual references

***trigger warning- this series will deal with themes of abandonment and addiction****

Category: Angst

Rating: 18+

Summary: An announcement sends shockwaves through the hospital and forces Ethan into some difficult decisions.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry

Authors note: have your comfort food ready and I am currently allowing anon messages so if you want to hate on me anonymously feel free. This is painful for me too ok.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Casey awoke, pleasantly surprised that Ethan was still there. She moved a stray piece of hair of his forehead and he began to stir. He cuddles her and goes to kiss her and maybe another round before he goes but disappointingly Casey puts an end to that thought.

“My housemates do know, they were told after I was confronted by Dr Olsen but I would still like to get you out before they wake up.” Whispered Casey.

Ethan nodded and he reluctantly gets dressed. They walk down the hall and to the main area. Sienna and Elijah are already awake. Sienna offers Ethan a coffee but declines. Casey walks with him to outside the door. He kisses her. “I will see you at work.” He says before heading back to his apartment.

Ethan arrived at work, A meeting is in his calendar later with HR just after lunch. He makes note to mention it to Casey as he feels it would be a good opportunity to have the relationship on record. He looks at his watch and makes his way to the Atrium for morning announcements. Both Harper and Naveen are already there. Harper stated that there are not many announcements today but they were a shock. Harper announced that she was stepping down as chief of Medicine. Ethan could not say he was overly surprised, he had strong suspicions that she at times resented being in the role. What was said next shook Ethan to his core. “In my place, will be Dr Naveen Banerji.” All the thoughts he had overnight disappeared and there was more shocks to come. “My first act as Chief is to formally install Dr Casey Valentine as Junior fellow on our hospital’s esteemed Diagnostics team under the leadership of Dr Ethan Ramsey.”

Casey stood there in shock, she had not given the competition much thought, with the ethics hearing taking up most of her thoughts of late. She glanced up at Ethan and she could sense the turmoil. She knew he had crossed many of his personal boundaries that night in Miami and when he said he wanted to continue what they were. They had fallen in love that much she knew but was that going to be enough.

Casey went about her rounds, grateful to be back at work.

Meanwhile Ethan was back in his office, panicking. He was back to square one with what to do with Casey. With her being on the team it was his responsibility to oversee what is happening. It was not against policy strictly speaking but he knew there was a rumour that Casey had been sleeping with him to get ahead and being in a relationship in secret was now certainly more than she deserved. There was a knock at his door, it was Naveen. “I could not help but notice that you looked a little shocked,my boy.” Stated Naveen.

“That is one word for it” said Ethan.

“The team has been going great Ethan, your capabilities as leader I have no question.” Said Naveen.

“Me and Casey have been in a relationship secretly since Miami, Naveen. Now I am to be her direct supervisor.” Said Ethan as he slumps down into his chair. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“ I have been running all the possibilities in my head Naveen. Baz does not spend enough time with patients and I am not having June supervising Casey, there were rumours that she slept her way to the top, it is sad because I know she did not use our relationship and I kept the work she did for me in regards to your care out of the ratings…”

“Then surely you can still keep your feeling’s separate ?”

Naveen you know as well as I do that HR will want an alternative reporting arrangement in place, I love her Naveen, she deserves so much more than the clandestine affair we have been having.”

Naveen is saddened to see how torn up his mentee is and also shocked. He knew of the turmoil when he was younger from his mother leaving. He had seen the on again off again with Harper but to hear his mentee say he was in love… well that is something Naveen thought he would never see.

“I could see there was something between you two whilst I was being treated. Please do not think I instilled Casey to torment you. She is on top, yes, I also believe she would have stayed there but I was never not going to reward her for saving my life.”

“Surely you could have taken the team back and still instilled Casey, she could have reported to you and I would not be in the mess I am now.”

“How is the team been run by me any different?”

“At least you would be her supervisor Naveen.”

“ I would have no qualms with you being Casey’s supervisor. I would also be happy to tell that to HR but I know you have your principles.” Naveen took his leave. Ethan still felt uneasy. What if things did not work out? What if the rumours impacted her work, especially if June bought into them. Also, too, Naveen would have very little time to see her work being chief, he knew the offer was genuine but he could not bring himself to accept it.

“Why did I have to fall in love?” He said to himself. Just then he received a phone call. It was Dr Hayden Grendfeld. He had met him at a few conferences and they got along.

“Hayden, a surprise to hear from you. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Hello Ethan, I am putting a team together with WHO to head down to the Amazon. As you know there is that pandemic down there. Could use your expertise down there.”

He knows he shouldn’t answer right away but he does. “Count me in, he says, send me an email with dates and cc in Naveen as well.”

“Consider it done. Look forward to working with you finally.”

“Me too Hayden, me too.”

The call ends. He was going to get a lecture from Naveen he knew but to tell Casey. He had resigned himself to this conversation sure, but resigning himself to it happening and actually doing so, well they were two different things. He received the email and the mission started in two weeks. After reading the email there was a calendar notification with a meeting with Naveen that afternoon.

His meeting with HR went quick, it was a formality in signing a new contract of employment. He made his way to Naveen’s office. He could see his mentor was torn.

“I see you have accepted a request for Brazil.” Said Naveen, “You have just started work again and now you are going away for two months?”

“That pandemic is affecting a lot of people down there Naveen and they have even less access to decent healthcare. It is the mission , Naveen.”

“I know it is my boy and the fact you got headhunted, well there is not much I can do, but Ethan, your relationship with Casey…”

“I know you said you were happy to oversee her work but with you as chief, how is that practical? Yes you said you would endorse me being her supervisor but what if we split up and it becomes unworkable? Her being on the team and being her direct supervisor has been playing on my mind for awhile now, Naveen, her recent suspension and you being cured gave me hope but you dashed it one foul swoop. She deserves to have her work and achievements untarnished and she sure as hell deserves more than a clandestine tryst and Naveen, with me as her supervisor she can not have both.”

Naveen had never seen Ethan this upset, ever and felt bad that he causing it.

“Well I am sorry for upsetting you Ethan, truly.”

Ethan nods, and leaves the office. He heads back to his office, to start getting everything in order but all he can think about is Casey and the chat he wish he did not have to have.

He had hoped that Casey would see him that night but she was tired after her shift. They met the next day at Derry Roasters. She could sense that he was troubled but she was glad that he wanted to come over after work. Little did Casey know that her world was going to be turned upside down.

They met in the carpark after her shift. He kissed her deeply and then they drove to his apartment.

They arrived and Ethan got to cooking dinner, it was steak and vegetables. They enjoyed their meal but Casey could see Ethan was nervous.

“Why are you so nervous Ethan, I can see you have been troubled since yesterday’s bombshell announcements.”

“You would be right, I would be lying if I said I had not thought about, with you being on top of the competition but with Naveen her cured and him stating he wanted to come back to work, well I assumed he would have retaken the team but the chief announcement threw me.”

“But with Naveen back then the competition would have been null en void surely.”

“I think he would enjoy a five member team and to be honest so would I. But that is not the point.

I am at the point where I want to be more public with our relationship, you have always deserved more than the clandestine affair we have been having. But being your supervisor, I would have to have an alternative reporting arrangement. The other two members could but they have their downsides, Baz does not spend a lot of time with patients so it is not fully workable. Then there is June. She can be manipulative and having you report to her from the get go would raise questions, that and the allegations that you slept with me to gain advantage, well I can’t rule out her undermining you from the outset. Naveen is happy to endorse but if the worst happens….”

Casey takes a breath.

“I know my roommates know. To my knowledge they were never suspicious of anything untoward, I do not mind being a secret, Ethan.”

“If this was some type of arrangement then I would be ok with that but I love you Casey.

“I love you too, Ethan” says Casey, with tears in her eyes.

“So what are we going to do?”

“We have to end this, believe me, I do not want too, but I do not see another way forward.”

“How is being broken up going to be any easier? I mean it is not like we can avoid each other all the time…”

“I received an invitation to head down to Brazil as apart of a team with WHO to assist with the pandemic down there. I will go in two weeks.”

“If things were different would you go?”

“I would, it is an honour and the indigenous people down there but I would have told you before I accepted, hell I would probably try and get you to come down with me, it would be an experience that is for sure.”

Ethan is trying to hold back some tears. “I am so sorry Casey but you do deserve so much more better than what I can give you. Casey nods and takes her leave. She could see the look of longing on his face but she also wanted out of there.

The two weeks go quickly. Ethan found it painful working with Casey, he hoped it would be easier after two months apart.

It was the night before he was due to leave. He was doing some last minute packing. There was a knock at his door. He was surprised to see Casey there; he invites her in and they sit down in the kitchen.

“The last two weeks have been horrible, seeing the longing I feel reflected back at me. I wanted you so badly that night but I also wanted out but I know I am going to regret not having you one last time before you go.”

“Thank god” said Ethan before he kissed her hungrily yet sweetly. He wanted to savour this time as it was going to be the last time. He undoes her blouse, running his hands around her curves, paying attention to her breasts. He slides one strap down, exposing a breast, Casey’s breath hitches as his tongue traces circles around the hardened peak before gently sucking. He does the same to the other breast and kisses his way down, laying waste to her skirt and underwear. He runs a finger through her folds, the movement causing Casey to buck her hips. He marvels at how wet and how responsive she is to his touch. He gently moves one leg over his shoulder and kissed the inside of her thigh. Casey moans in anticipation, finally he runs his tongue around her swollen bub, slowly at first then he quickens. Casey moans and he moves her tongue through her folds and in. One hand is on her waist and the other massages her breast. Casey is light headed and can not thing straight. She can feel herself getting close as Ethan again pays more attention to her clit. He suddenly stops which causes Casey to mewl in protest. He stands up, hoisting her around his waist.

“As much as I love watching you come, I want to come inside you first tonight.” He says before kissing her. She can still taste herself and she moans as he start kissing the column of her neck. He walks them to his bedroom. He gently places her on the bed, partially sitting up. He kisses her again, guiding his hardened member to her entrance. He works his way in slowly, causing Casey to moan, she rolls her head back when he is fully sheathed and moans his name. She places one leg across his lower back as he starts to move in and out. The angle is one Casey loves as he hits that spot from the get go. He starts off slow but gets quicker, Casey’s moans and eventual screams guiding him.

She starts to clench which causes him to feel that all to familiar twitching. He sucks her nipple and increases his speed until he comes, triggering Casey’s climax. He helps her ride it out. They lay there in bed. Memorizing how each others body feels. He kisses her again. “I regret that ending us was the only way forward, but I never regretted us, not for a minute.” Said Ethan.

“I am sad too..” she wants to say I still love you but refrains. Casey sits up and goes to find her clothes but Ethan grabs her hand. “I want you to stay, let us enjoy this last night.”

Casey smiled, sadly and cuddles into Ethan. They go another round and both fall into a bittersweet sleep.

Casey gets up early and leaves a note for Ethan wishing him a safe journey. He makes it with plenty of time to Logan to begin the work. He thinks about Casey and the night before, how loving it was, despite being over and the regret of his decision starts to sink in.

“This is going to be a long two months” he says to himself under his breath.

———

Authors note: thank you for reading this far. That chapter was tough to write, even with how I planned it in my head. Next couple of chapters you will be able to readily see where there are changes to canon. More of the roller coaster will be coming and the trigger warning will come into play in a few chapters too.

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @genevievemd @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @tessa-liam @cariantha @youlookappropriate @ofmischiefandmedicine @a-crepusculo @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @schnitzelbutterfingers @binny1985 @trappedinfanfiction @socalwriterbee @lucy-268

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

If I have missed anyone or you wish to be added (or removed) please let me know

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart 2 - Chapter 20

Inevitable

Matthew was in for surprise the next morning when Ethan caught up with him and told him the diagnostics team had been officially disbanded as of 6AM. After chatting with Naveen, Ethan had decided the team should focus on diagnosing and curing as many people as possible.

“Now that the funds originally used to run the team can be redirected to the clinic, we can keep that open a little longer than predicted, and I’ve heard that a few other departments are considering doing the same,” he said. “Anything very complicated can be transferred to Kenmore. Since they were bought-out, they’ve had a big increase in funding and equipment; would-be diagnostic patients are in good hands.”

He said the last sentence as if it gave him a stomach-ache, and Matthew laughed as he walked to the clinic.

He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t a line of people all down the hallway and out the door. Doctors filled the exam rooms and nurses walked up and down the line, diagnosing patients where they could. Naveen was leading a boy down the hall, calmly explaining how he would mend a broken arm. Baz was conducting an eye exam in one room, Elijah and Sothy were treating a food-poisoning patient in another.

“Hey Matthew,” Jackie said from behind him. “You were sent here too, huh?”

“This is insane. It’s like we’ve got half the city in here!”

“I know,” Jackie grinned. “Fancy a competition? Whoever logs the most patients gets coffee from the other.”

“You’re on.”

Matthew called in a woman who had pink eye, which would clear up on its own and a warm, damp cloth would soothe the itching. She was followed by a man dealing with a pinched nerve that would require painkillers. After the man came a tired dad: his toddler twins had come down with chickenpox at the same time.

“Try to keep them from scratching. An over-the-counter antihistamine will help. Have you had chickenpox yourself?”

“Yes, when I was five. My wife suggested having some neighbourhood kids round, but is that safe?”

“It’s much better to get chickenpox as a child, so go ahead, as long as the parents have had it.”

The man looked a tiny bit relieved as he left. Jackie seemed slightly frazzled as she saw her patient off.

“That guy should have had his tonsils out years ago but absolutely refuses surgery. I spent ten minutes trying to convince him that it was in his best interests, but when that ended up being a lost cause I had to help him find a ‘new-age’ alternative. I give it about eight months before they start bothering him again.” She sighed. “Any joy on your end?”

“Wait, you’ve only seen one guy? I’ve just said goodbye to my third patient, and they were a set of twins!”

“I hope you dance in the rain and get pneumonia.”

Matthew was still smirking as he called in his next patient, a thirteen-year-old girl coming in for a second HPV vaccine. The fact that she was terrified of needles and had fainted when receiving her first dose wiped the smile off his face, and he spent a lot of time working on anti-anxiety techniques. He finally got the jab done by playing Olivia Rodrigo very loudly as the poor girl sat with her eyes squeezed shut and her mom tightly holding both her hands. He gave her an extra candy for her ordeal.

“Matthew?” Ines found him between patients, an hour later. “Oh good, you’re available. Can you help us out?”

She stepped aside and Esme walked into the room, rolling her eyes.

“There was a collision with someone carrying over a tray of surgical tools and Esme cut her arm. It may require a stitch or two, but Esme would only agree if you were the one to do it.” She spoke with a look of motherly exasperation, directed at Esme.

“Sure, leave it with me.”

Ines left and Esme sat down on the bed.

“I told her she didn’t need to make a fuss but…”

“No, she was right,” Matthew said, peering at the cut on Esme’s arm. “You’ll need a stitch for this. And to think, out of all the doctors here, you trust me the most!”

“Well, if you’re gonna get mushy about it…”

Matthew cleaned and disinfected the wound before infecting a small dose of local anaesthetic.

“Have you thought about where you’ll go after Edenbrook?”

“I’ve applied to hospitals in New York. Figured it made sense, being in the same state as the PI and everything.”

“Have you thought about a sabbatical or anything? It might give you the chance to travel to them in person.”

“I’m not sure I want to do that, at least not right now.” She chewed her lip. “I’m not the same as I was back then, and I doubt my parents are too. So the PI’s just going to locate them and then we’ll go from there. And if they do want to see me…I can visit.”

“I’m sure they will,” Matthew murmured as he put a stitch in Esme’s cut and covered it with a small bandage. “Alright, that’s good to go. Page me if it starts violently spurting blood.”

****

The deluge of patients continued throughout the day. When Matthew finally got the chance for a break, he realised another six hours had passed. He and Elijah took a breather in the lounge, drinking cups of coffee.

“Can you believe today? I feel like I’ve been run over with people.”

“Same. How’s Sothy handling it?”

“He’s actually doing really well. I cracked down since you saved our asses – he’s been scared of you since then,” he added, smirking, “And made sure he actually started learning stuff. He complained at first but once he realised that’s what needed to happen he’s been going up and up and up. What about you? I don’t see you working with Esme as much.”

“Dr Banerji wanted to take off some of my workload whilst I was recovering from the attack, so she’s bounced between me, Zaid and Ines. Regardless, she’s very independent. She’s been able to handle it.”

“At least she hasn’t been making your life difficult by…I don’t know…administering illegal drug treatments!”

“That was one time!” Matthew snorted into his coffee.

****

The rest of the week passed in a similar fashion. Matthew would be directed to either the clinic, where he would treat minor illnesses and ailments, or to the ER, where he would stabilise emergency victims before they were transferred to receive the rest of their treatment elsewhere. According to Aurora, Mass Kenmore was slowly filling up. She wasn’t quite working the same frantic hours as everyone else, and offered to be in charge of dinner back at the apartment. This was met with mixed reactions from everyone until she ordered pizzas. They couldn’t live on takeaways forever…but they wouldn’t be working like this forever either.

Matthew focused on the positive, that he was helping as many patients as he could and the cost of care was coming in cheaper than usual. Kyra had appealed to Naveen and got him to agree to cut large bills. It wouldn’t make a difference to Edenbrook’s situation, she said, why burden patients now? It was the last thing she could do to make sure Edenbrook could help as many people as possible.

Friday night, Matthew finished up his shift and left the hospital to find it was already Saturday morning.

“How the hell did it get to be tomorrow?” he groaned, suddenly feeling disoriented.

“Matthew, over here!”

Keiki was jumping up and down, waving her hands at him, and just being generally too perky for a teenager at the crack of dawn. Bryce was loping behind her, yawning.

“Hey Lahelas. What’s got you so excited?”

Keiki whipped a folded piece of paper from her pocket and held it up excitedly.

“I got in to Invictus! I’m gonna be a full-time student in September!”

“Congratulations!” Matthew looked over at Bryce as he gave Keiki a congratulatory hug and saw him beaming with pride. “So if you don’t start until September, what’s got you up so early?”

“We were invited in for a campus tour, since we’ve never been before,” Bryce said. “Lucky us, it starts at 9AM and is a two and a half hour drive.”

“Do you want to come with us?” Keiki asked. “Bryce told me that you, Jackie and Raf helped him search…and you helped me settle in when I got here.”

“That’s really sweet of you.”

Matthew was so touched, he went back inside Edenbrook and swapped his shifts around to keep the day free.

“Are you sure your car can make the journey? It doesn’t look like the strongest model…” he teased as they walked towards Bryce’s car that was possibly the same age as Keiki.

“You’re right, we should take your car…OH WAIT, you don’t have one,” Bryce retorted. “Just for that, get in the back.”

“Good, because I’ve been at work and need to stretch out.”

“And I was going to fight you for shotgun anyway.”

Matthew sprawled over the backseat of Bryce’s car, and Keiki instantly started fiddling with the radio and CD player as Bryce pulled away from the hospital.

“Can we play a podcast?” she asked.

“Put headphones on if you want, but you won’t be able to connect it to the speakers.”

“You should update your car.”

“If you’d rather I spend my trust fund on a fabulous car…”

“No, no, I’m good!”

“So hang on,” Matthew said. “Technically, who’s paying for school?”

“I am,” Bryce said. “My trust fund will cover the fees. Keiki’s still got her fund, luckily, but she won’t be able to access it until she’s eighteen.”

“I guess I’ll be upgrading your car then.” Keiki grinned up at Bryce with gratitude; she wouldn’t forget any of this.

As Bryce cautiously wound his way through the Boston traffic, a young man pulled up behind them in a bright red car. The car itself was almost as loud as the motor and the driver kept attempting to overtake but couldn’t get round the oncoming traffic.

“I smell a car crash,” Matthew muttered.

“Did your mommy buy that car?” Keiki said as the driver finally managed to get into the next lane at the traffic lights. He seemed to be trying to trash-talk them through the window, but before Keiki could get the window down to hear, the lights were green and the boy racer was zooming away.

“Go after him, Bryce, we’ll show him who’s boss!”

“No way. I fully intend to get to Invictus with you and my car in one piece.”

“What about you and Matthew?”

“We’re a doctor and a surgeon, we’ll be fine. But you, I have a duty of care for.”

Keiki accepted this with a roll of the eyes but she perked up when a plume of smoke came into view on the highway. It was coming from a familiar red car, and a boy racer was stood next to it shouting down the phone. Keiki took great delight in rolling down the window and flipping the bird as Bryce tooted the horn.

“I love karma,” Matthew said.

“Let that be a lesson to you, Keiks.”

Now that they were out the city and on the highway, the drive became smoother. Keiki flipped through (and dismissed) Bryce’s CD collection, then bickered with Bryce about how far she could roll down the windows without messing anyone’s hair. Matthew settled down on the back seat and closed his eyes, letting the siblings chatter fade into the background…

He was woken up suddenly by Bryce honking the horn.

“Rise and shine, Matthew, we’re here!”

“Jesus Christ, couldn’t you have just poked me?!”

“Keiki said the horn would be more fun.”

“No I didn’t!” Keiki gasped as they climbed out the car and stretched their legs. Bryce had found a spot next to a garden lined with hedges and colourful flower beds. Matthew recognised it as the spot where the kids were pictured playing with a tightrope on the website, but there was no time to stop for a proper look as Keiki was practically skipping along the path to the reception desk.

The whole campus felt like a grand manor house, with the main office being the first in a row of mews around the back of the school building. It was followed by the admin office, the porters cabin, the accommodation and finance office, and a health clinic that included sexual health. Matthew couldn’t help feeling a little impressed with their openness.

“The tour starts in the English department at ten and goes round the campus, lasting for around two hours,” Keiki said, reading the timetable she’d been given. “Can we look at some dorms until then?”

“You got it.”

They found the dorms – a slightly more modern building – across the road where a boy called James showed them his room. It was standard: a single bed, a desk and chest of drawers and not a lot of floor space, but the window was tall and James had a lot of posters on the walls and trinkets on the desk.

“Pretty sure this is bigger than my room at med school,” Matthew said.

“You moved into a closet, your standards are low,” Bryce reminded him. “Nice view out the window though.”

The window looked out onto a garden where students were milling around, enjoying the spring morning. Some of them were eating toast, most of them held mugs.

“Is there a common room or anything?”” Keiki asked.

James led them down the hallway to a living and kitchen area. A TV hung on the wall above some brightly coloured couches and bean bags. A long table was along one wall and a large bookcase was along the other. A sign encouraged leaving unwanted books on the empty shelf for other students to read.

“We go to the cafeteria for proper cooked meals but we can have snacks and hot drinks here,” James explained, indicating the three fridges, microwaves and kettles. “But if you don’t want to share anything, keep it in your room.”

“Noted,” Keiki giggled. “Are all the dorms like this?”

“They try and keep them generally the same, it just depends on the building. There’s a few houses down the street that the school bought and converted, so they look different, but Invictus keeps them up to standard. You live in the same room until you graduate but you can apply for a room swap if you need.”

Keiki wanted to find out more about the accommodation but they had to move on to the English department for the academic tour. It was led by a very tall man who looked very stern until he opened his mouth and exuded an energy that was impossible to dislike. Keiki seemed very keen on the feminist literature module in the English department and was pleased to hear there would also be a creative writing assessment.

“She’s always writing in a notebook,” Bryce said to Matthew in a low voice. “But whenever I ask to see it, she tells me to mind my own business.”

Moving on from English into Science – a decidedly less photogenic square block hidden by trees – Keiki was introduced to a woman with a lot of curly hair who looked more like a stereotypical art teacher. Keiki asked plenty of questions regarding chemistry and physics and what kind of experiments they did. The curly-haired woman took a shine to her, telling her it might not be that exciting in reality but she appreciated the enthusiasm.

“What do you think?” Bryce asked, as they sat in the cafeteria two hours later drinking coffee. “You look like you’re having fun.”

“I really like this school, Bryce,” Keiki said, with a shy smile. “I think it will be one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.”

“Actually agreed. It’s going to be great for you.”

Keiki went to use the toilet and Matthew noticed Bryce was looking oddly pensive.

“Are you alright? Don’t tell me you’re empty-nesting!”

“Of course I am! My nest! It’s empty!” Bryce acted dramatic, but there was an edge of seriousness about it. “It’s crazy that when she first got here, all I could think about was sending her home and getting my bed back and not having to hide my underwear. But now…I’m really going to miss her! Don’t tell her that,” he added, sternly, and Matthew laughed.

“I’m sure she’ll miss you too. But it’s a good thing. You get your apartment back and, instead of sending her back to horrible parents in a lonely mansion, she’ll be going somewhere she can really thrive.”

“I guess it really is the best of both worlds, huh,” Bryce said. “Thanks for coming with us, Matthew. You look dead on your feet and we really appreciate it.”

“Anything. Just don’t wake me up with the car horn again.”

****

Matthew was back to the throng of work on Sunday – word had spread around the city and now it seemed like the entire population was there for the most minor of problems, not that Matthew minded – but on Monday morning, he spotted a familiar face in the atrium.

“Raf!”

“Surprise,” Raf grinned. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. I know you’re busy but I wanted to stop and say hello.”

“It’s always good to see you,” Matthew said. “If you’ve got some time, wanna help out? We’ve got so many people in today, the nurses won’t know which way is up.”

“If nothing else, I can be a coffee gopher,” Raf joked as Matthew led him down the halls to the clinic. “Oh wow, you weren’t kidding…”

There was a long line of people snaking around the rooms, some standing, some draped against the wall, and some just sitting on the floor.

“Hey, Ronnie, can Raf lend a hand with the triage for a while?” Matthew asked a passing nurse.

“I have four years’ experience as a paramedic,” Raf added.

“Come with me,” Ronnie said, and led Raf to the nearest nurses station to start triaging the waiting patients. Meanwhile, Matthew was pulled back into his examination room to diagnose as much as he could.

“Matthew!” Sienna rushed into the room. “I have to administer some vaccinations and I’m out of candy! Do you have any spare?”

Matthew hunted around the cupboards and found a bag of lollipops tucked away at the back.

“Godspeed,” he told her seriously, before calling in his next patient.

The patient in question was tall, but kept his head down as he shuffled into the room and sat down. He only looked up after removing his baseball cap.

“Keller? What are you doing here?” It was unprofessional, but the last time Matthew had seen Mitch he had been extremely disrespectful to Sienna. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I mean, what brings you here?”

Mitch looks up at Matthew slightly apprehensively before revealing his hand. It was haphazardly wrapped in a slightly blood-stained bandage.

“Attacked by a soup can lid,” Mitch muttered. “Thought the bandage would hold but…looks like it needs stitches.”

Matthew unwound the bandage to reveal an angry red gash across Mitch’s palm.

“That looks like…I’d estimate four stitches.”

Matthew retrieved a suture kit and started prepping to mend the wound.

Mitch watched warily, as if he half-expected Matthew to stab him with the needle, and an awkward silence fell as Matthew treated the wound.

“Keep those covered and dry,” he said, rebandaging his hand. “Come back in a week to have them removed, sooner if you think they’re infected.”

“What happens if Edenbrook’s closed?”

“We should be open for another couple of months but other hospitals will be able to take care of it.”

Mitch nodded. He shifted where he sat, looking like he had something he wanted to say.

“Um…is Dr Trinh working today?”

Matthew went very still.

“Why do you ask?”

“I need to talk to her about something.”

“Really? I hope it’s an apology for your attitude.”

“Um…yeah.” Mitch looked like he hadn’t considered that until just now. “But also something important.”

He wasn’t any more forthcoming so Matthew made him wait where he was as he walked down to where Sienna was tending to someone. He approached her as she finished up and saw off the patient.

“Mitch Keller just turned up in my exam room. He said he wants to talk to you.”

“What about?” Sienna’s smile fell and she looked doubtful.

“He wouldn’t say, he just said it’s important.”

Sienna considered. Then her expression hardened. She stood up straight and lifted her chin.

“Alright. Send him in here and I’ll deal with whatever it is.”

Matthew would always have Sienna’s back but he had the feeling she wouldn’t need him for the moment as he sent Mitch to where Sienna waited for him.

His shift diagnosing patients finished an hour later so he went to see where he could help out next when Rafael caught up with him, slightly out of breath, eyes bright.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah, just a little surprised at how fast-paced everything is. You said it was non-stop, but the reality is something else.”

“Honestly, I love it,” Matthew grinned. “We’re helping so many people…speaking of which, I’m done at the clinic for now. If you’re good to carry on, want to team up?”

“With you, always.”

They ended up being called on to be runners; moving furniture and equipment to help the staff in the clinic, and after carefully bringing a portable sonogram to a pregnant woman, Elijah called them in.

“Can you guys bring a gurney for Mrs McGregor here? She’s had severe vomiting and I don’t want her fainting. A wheelchair will do.”

“You got it.”

They found a spare gurney a few hallways down, but as he went to pull it towards them, Raf stumbled and his leg gave way.

“Are you alright?!” Matthew gasped, rushing over and kneeling beside him. Thankfully the corridor was empty.

“Yeah…” Raf murmured. He sat up slowly, a little pale and obviously shaken. “I just got dizzy. Maybe…maybe I overdid today.”

“Have you stopped at all since you came in?”

“No, I was helping run triage for a couple of hours before I caught up with you. To be honest, I thought I was doing OK. I’ve never collapsed during physical therapy, and running triage was familiar to my paramedic job, so I started to think…well, it was almost like exactly how I was before the attack. I guess I got over-confident.”

“Do you want to get checked out?” Matthew asked. “I’ll page Dr Mirani if you don’t want to go back to the clinic…”

“No, I’ll be alright. I’ll just go home and rest up.”

Raf stood up slowly, bracing himself against the wall.

“Raf…”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll catch up with you later. Sorry I can’t be of any more help.”

He started walking away before Matthew could say anything else, but no matter how tall he stood, he couldn’t quite hide the tremor in his side.

Matthew had to return to work as if everything was fine, but he couldn’t get the image of Raf collapsing out of his head. Sure, he’d said he was OK, but he did have a tendency to downplay his problems…

“Matthew, are you OK? You seem lost,” Sienna said as she walked out of her examination room. “I was going to grab a cup of coffee if you want to come?”

“Er…sure.”

Matthew didn’t think Raf would want anyone to know what happened yet, so he thought of something to divert Sienna’s attention.

“Was everything alright with Mitch?”

“Everything was fine. You’re not gonna believe this, but he wants to restart his residency. He’s applying to some smaller hospitals just outside of Boston, not as prestigious as Edenbrook, and he wanted me to give a reference.”

“You’re kidding! What did you say?”

“I told him I would provide an honest reference, but if he screwed this one up, never to contact me again. I’ve helped him as much as I can; it’s on himself now.”

“As long as you’re happy with your choice.”

“I am. I felt partially responsible for how his residency ended, now I’ve remedied that. And I won’t have to pick up his slack.”

“Best of both worlds,” Matthew said as they reached the coffee machine. He glanced around the half-empty cafeteria, remembering the many hours he had spent studying here. They had hosted a going-away party for Mrs Martinez in this very cafeteria…and it was where he told Rafael about the part he’d played in her death. A lot had happened since he’d arrived at Edenbrook, and the idea of letting it all go was scary.

****

Upon getting home, tired and aching, he collapsed straight onto the sofa. He didn’t move when the doorbell rang a few minutes later. When no movement came from the bedrooms, he realised he was the only one home. The doorbell rang again.

“Why don’t we have a clapper for that yet?” he groaned into the cushions. “Coming!”

He dragged himself up and over to the door and opened it to find Rafael, smiling sheepishly and clutching a brown paper bag.

“Too late for a home ice-cream sundae bar?”

“Oh my god. Get in here.”

Raf laughed as Matthew pulled him into his apartment, but pushed him back towards the couch.

“Go sit down, you look worn out. Where do you keep the bowls again?”

Matthew watched Rafael making his way around the small kitchen. He moved with confidence, no longer limping, and when he brought back two bowls, spoons, and glasses of water, he had a genuine smile. Matthew returned it as he opened up pints of Madagascan vanilla, mint choc chip, and cherry chocolate. Raf had also brought sprinkles, fudge sauce, and chopped nuts.

“Good god, you’re brilliant.”

“Dig in.”

They loaded their bowls with a bit of everything and Matthew closed his eyes as he took his first bite, moaning in delight. Raf smirked.

“Tastes good then?”

“This is the best thing I’ve eaten all day.”

They spent a few minutes enjoying ice cream in peaceful silence until Matthew cleared his throat.

“So…how are you doing? Tell me honestly. It’s just you and me.”

Raf hesitated, then put down his half-empty bowl.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he said. “I kind of left you hanging this afternoon.”

“Don’t worry about that. You seemed really upset earlier.”

“I was. Everything had been going so well, I had almost convinced myself I was back to full strength. Nearly collapsing was a very harsh reality check.”

“It doesn’t mean you’ll never recover. It was a bump in the road but you’ll be able to move past it. We both knew recovery wouldn’t be overnight.”

“I know. I called my physical therapist for help once I got back to Vovó’s. She agreed I overdid it and cancelled the session I was supposed to have tomorrow.”

“How are you feeling physically?”

“I’m fine now. I took a nap, then sat in the garden for a while, and then Lucas dropped by and we did some yoga.”

“Lucas does yoga?”

“No, but I needed to stretch out and de-stress so I forgave his lack of flexibility,” Raf chuckled. “Then I texted Sienna to ask when your shift was over so I could surprise you with a treat. Judging by the look on your face, I’d say job well done.”

“Spectacularly done,” Matthew said, as Raf picked up his bowl again. “I’ll be there for you whenever you need it. We can do yoga, or eat ice cream, or just sit in silence.”

“Thank you.” Raf took Matthew’s hand and kissed it. “Right now I’m just happy to enjoy what’s right in front of me.”

With their bowls wiped clean, they sat back on the couch, full and content. Matthew swung his legs across Raf’s lap.

“Thank you,” he said. “I don’t think I realised how much I needed this until you showed up.” He gently took him by the chin and kissed him.

“Well…you’ve looked after me so much I wanted to return the favour,” Raf said.

“You always do.”

They kissed again and again, until they heard a key in the lock. Jackie and Sienna looked at them with bemused expressions.

“I swear to god, if I have to regularly come home to you guys making out—”

“There’s ice cream in the freezer.”

“You’re forgiven. Care to join me, Sienna?”

“You got it!”

Raf laughed as he gave Matthew another squeeze.

“Shall we move into your room? You look exhausted.”

He stood, offering Matthew a hand to pull himself up, then they said goodnight to the girls before going to Matthew’s room. He wasted no time, stripping down to his underpants and collapsing into bed. Raf sat beside him, stroking his hair.

“Would you like a back rub?”

“Mmm…yes please…”

With a smile, Raf started rubbing up and down Matthew’s back and shoulders, digging into the stiff muscles, smoothing out the knots. Matthew gave a deep sigh of contentment as he slowly loosened up under Raf’s touch. The comfort of his bed and the warmth of Rafael made it very easy to drift into a peaceful sleep. He was barely aware of Raf kissing his forehead and whispering ‘good night’ before leaving the room.

But even the most comforting bedtime routine couldn’t keep the bad dreams away, and his sleep was disturbed with visions of himself wandering the plastic corridors in a desperate search for something important he just couldn’t find.

****

The next evening, the roommates plus Bryce were all huddled on the sofa but the mood was far from cheerful: they were looking into hospitals where they could transfer their residency. Aurora hovered with the coffee pot, keeping them fuelled with caffeine and third party observations.

“Anyone found anything yet?” She asked.

“I’ve just applied to Mass Kenmore to join their research team,” Elijah said. “The formula has a lot of potential, and I didn’t have a lot of options when I developed it. Mass Kenmore’s the only place that will enable me to work on it properly…”

“Elijah, you saved mine and Raf’s lives. This formula could save thousands more. Don’t feel bad for wanting to chase that.”

“Don’t let Landrat in on your secrets,” Jackie added.

“Oh my god, I just remembered,” Aurora said. “We didn’t broadcast the attack through the hospital but word got round and he eventually heard about it. He came rushing over and begged me for all the details of the research and what it was like working with Ramsey. The only way I could get rid of him was by snapping that I thought my friends were going to die and I didn’t appreciate him treating it like reality TV. He hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“I’m not even surprised he’d think of it like that. Good for you.” Jackie clinked her coffee mug against Aurora’s.

Matthew turned back to his laptop. He had to admit, he’d started to consider Kenmore – just because he didn’t like two of the doctors working there didn’t mean they were all the same – but Aurora’s story left a bad taste in his mouth. How many doctors thought the same as Landry and would hound him for details about the attack? Or would Landry and his judgemental glare constantly follow him around the hospital? And if he still thought he was right about Mrs Martinez, perhaps he’d think nothing of telling other doctors that Matthew couldn’t be trusted. Edenbrook had witnessed Matthew being cleared of all charges, Kenmore not so much.

“What about you, Sienna?” he asked.

“There’s a hospital in Nevada that wants to talk to me but…I don’t know, it’s in Nevada,” she sighed. “I’ll be completely on my own to start with.”

“That wasn’t an issue when you moved to Boston?” Bryce asked.

“No, I moved in with my ex-boyfriend first. Regardless, I grew up in Massachusetts so it didn’t feel like a big deal.”

“I was on my own when I moved to Boston and it ended up OK,” Matthew reminded her, and Sienna smiled.

“I’ve been looking at Carson General in Chicago,” Bryce said. “If you want moral support, I’ll send you the link and we’ll look at it together.”

“Do they have a peds department?”

“Sure, why?”

“I think I want to restart as a peds resident.”

Everyone looked away from their screens to stare at her.

“Really?”

“Since when?”

“Since the attack, pretty much. Things were really hard, as you all know, but I sort of ended up checking in at the peds department to fill the emptiness. The kids were always so sweet and fun to chat to. I guess it just clicked.”

“You’ll make an amazing paediatrician,” Matthew reassured her happily. “Actually, Bryce, can you send me that link too?”

Leaving Boston scared him, but at least Chicago was on the same side of the country.

“How about you, Jackie? Any joy?”

“There’s some promising places but…as soon as I get recognised as accepting Panacea kickbacks they’ll turn me away.”

“They can’t when you’re one of hundreds of thousands of doctors who accepted those kickbacks.”

“Besides, your skillset speaks for itself. You turned Gary Garrison into a competent doctor within half a year!”

“From what I hear, you didn’t even have to torture him!” Bryce added.

“I know, I know. I went soft.” Jackie was starting to smile.

“Joke all you want, but you’ll make an excellent attending one day,” Matthew said, with sincerity, knowing that, for all the stern exterior she put on, Jackie had a good heart. And he had a sneaking suspicion that, since the memorial, she had started to care more.

“Aaaw, you guys! I’m going to miss you! I didn’t want this to end!” Sienna sniffled. She had been keeping it together, but now her tears were welling up.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright!” Aurora said, grabbing some tissues for her. “You don’t need to cry.”

“I knew our residencies would end but…not like this! We had another year…then we could have stayed at Edenbrook!”

“Come on, we’ll keep in touch!” Matthew said.

“You know it won’t be the same.”

“Jackie, are your eyes glistening?”

“Bryce, I will break every bone in your body!”

Sienna threw her arms around Jackie in a big hug. Matthew joined her, and so did everyone else.

“This isn’t hellish at all,” came Jackie’s muffled voice, but she was smiling when they broke apart. They sat in contemplative silence for a while until Elijah spoke up.

“It’s not over till it’s over so…what do you say to a big blow-out night? For old times sakes.”

“Can we get super dressed up and go somewhere fancy?” Sienna said. “I need another excuse to wear my gala dress.”

“I’ll get dressed up, though if you wanted to wear your gala dress you could just do that.”

“What about Raf? Will he want to join us?”

“Way ahead of you,” Matthew said, already texting. “Alright, he’s game!”

Ninety minutes later, the group met Rafael outside a downtown bar named ‘Marbles’. It was full of sleek, black furniture, indoor plants, and lights in mason jars. Everyone had gone all out, wearing the fanciest suits and dresses they could find in their closets, though Sienna hadn’t had time to style her hair and simply wore it down.

“I’ll get the first round,” Matthew said. “What’s everyone having?”

“Something strong. I’m ready to go off the rails tonight!” Jackie said, receiving a cheer of agreement from the others.

“Am I going to be scraping you guys off the floor later?” the bartender joked as Matthew approached. “Sounds like you’re celebrating something.”

“Call it a going-away party,” Matthew said wistfully.

“What’ll it be?”

“Let’s see, seven of us so fourteen…no, twenty-one shots!”

The bartender burst out laughing.

“You know you can order as you go, right? At this point I’m obliged to remind you I have the right to refuse service later!”

But the bartender got mixing as Matthew went to the corner booth that his friends had taken. He slid into the velvet seat between Raf and Jackie as the bartender brought over a large tray of shot glasses.

“Holy smokes!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Alright guys, these are white gummy bear shots. Cherry vodka, peach schnapps, pineapple juice and a splash of soda,” the bartender grinned. “Enjoy.”

Everyone grabbed a glass and held it up in the air.

“If I may get sappy for a moment,” Bryce said. “It has been an honour working with you all and I wish you the best of luck with your careers…and I have no intention of losing touch with any of you.”

“Even Jackie?”

“Especially Jackie. She will have a front row seat at every award ceremony for my surgical achievements.”

“Dream on, Scalpel Jockey!”

The group laughed and downed their shots. It was exactly like a liquidised gummy bear in it’s fruity sweetness, just with the added burn of alcohol.

“Strong,” Aurora coughed. “Way stronger than the name let on.”

“Don’t tell me you can’t handle it,” Bryce teased.

“Yeah, otherwise one of us is going to be getting way out ahead on this night, and fast.”

“Raf, that’s big talk for someone who was worried about his own alcohol tolerance two months ago!” Aurora took another shot to prove a point.

Three shots and a cocktail pitcher down, the group were having trouble sitting still as they wobbled around the bar, squealed and laughed loudly with each other, and snapped selfies with unsteady hands. Matthew in particular felt very happy with the people around him, though it didn’t escape his notice that the bartender was watching them cautiously.

“OK, I have a very doctorly diagnosis,” Elijah said, grandly. “And that diagnosis is…I’m drunk.”

“Whoa…either you were swaying when you said that…or I was,” Aurora blinked slowly.

“You’re not swaying, Aurora, you’re perfect. Very stable.”

“Thanks Bryce. I’m gonna miss you.” Aurora started clumsily pointing to everyone in turn. “And you. And you. And you. Also you,” she added, patting Elijah’s cheek

“We’re going to miss you too,” Matthew beamed, though he wondered if he might start weeping.

“Guys.” Elijah leaned forward. “I have a…confession. I’ve been holding it for so long but I have to come clean.”

The gang fell silent in anticipation.

“Sienna…remember when you bought a pint of rocky road ice cream, put your name on it, put in the freezer and then someone ate it?”

“Y-yes?”

The group collectively held their breath.

“…It was Jackie. I’m sorry but I love everyone here too much to keep this dark secret any longer.”

“Your ‘coming clean’ is to rat me out? Traitor!” Jackie shrieked, but Sienna reached across to grab her hands.

“It’s OK, Jackie, you’re like a sister to me! Heck, I’d buy a second pint of ice cream for you to steal right now!”

Jackie gaped at Sienna for a second…then her lip quivered and she burst into tears.

“Jackie, you’re leaking!” Matthew gasped, momentarily forgetting his own drunken emotion.

“Quick, plug it up before the alcohol escapes!” Bryce cried.

“I’ve got tissues!” Sienna almost fell off her chair trying to retrieve them from her purse.

“I’ll look up knock-knock jokes on my phone!” Elijah started searching through his pockets.

“Stop…being…so…adorable,” Jackie wailed. “You’re making it woooooorse.”

“Jackie, listen.” Raf steadied himself on Matthew as he leaned towards her. “You’re always welcome to camp out on my couch if you want to come back for a Boston reunion sometime.”

“That’s so sweeeet…” Jackie tried to hug Rafael but ended up slumped against Matthew, so she sobbed over him whilst Raf rubbed her arm.

“It’s gonna be OK, Jackie,” Matthew consoled. “We’re all gonna miss us and we all thought we’d have more time so it’s OK to be sad, but we’ll all make it work—HEY you got my text!”

Everyone looked up to see Kyra, in a black cocktail dress, looking extremely amused at the scene before her.

“I could tell by the number of typos that it was going to be a good time,” she giggled. “What are you all drinking? Clearly I have some catching up to do.”

“We had candy shots!”

“Something about gummy bears…”

“And sex on the beach!”

“Yeah, but the drinking kind, not the sex on the beach kind.”

Kyra was still giggling as she made her way to the bar and came back with a cocktail glass and a shot glass, and did her best to catch up with the group, who ordered another pitcher, this time a tequila sunrise, though Raf decided not to have a glass. Soon they were back to their loud laughing and joking as the clock ticked closer to midnight, until Kyra grew quiet and reflective, stroking the rim of her cocktail glass.

“Can I be real with you guys for a second?” she said, suddenly. “I wanted to apologise…”

“What could you possibly have to apologise for?” Matthew spluttered.

“Edenbrook. I have to apologise that I couldn’t save it. Or anybody.”

“That is not on you,” Jackie said resolutely. She’d stopped crying but her make-up remained smudged around her eyes. “You did your best and you did a damn good job.”

“She’s right, Kyra, no one could have tried harder,” Raf said.

“What does trying even mean anyway?” Kyra sighed. “Edenbrook closes or it doesn’t. People live or they die…Did you know Danny helped me through my first cancer surgery?”

“Kyra…”

Kyra was a little too far gone and the mood grew sombre as she continued to speak.

“I knew Danny for years. He saw me through the worst of my surgery. And Bobby always said hello, bought me coffee once a week. Sweet Bobby. How is it they die and I’m OK?”

“Because it was in no way connected to your life. You’re not to blame for that. You were literally in surgery for the whole time.”

“And don’t wish for your place to be switched,” Jackie said darkly. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”

“I know it has nothing to do with anything, but it doesn’t feel that way. But that’s why I wanted so much to save Edenbrook, and why I’ll keep fighting the good fight. Edenbrook saved my life.”

“It saved mine too, several times,” Raf said. He wrapped his arms around Matthew and hugged him close. “I wish I could have saved Danny and Bobby. But I don’t regret going in there. If I could save Matthew…I’d do it again.”

Matthew sniffled, leaning into him.

“Is it weird thinking the attack brought you guys back together?” Bryce asked. “Like, your anniversary is the anniversary of the attack.”

“Wait…” Matthew detached himself from Raf to speak. “We have to mark our anniversary? It’s not like we’re married…”

“We can mark whatever milestones we want to,” Raf smiled, rubbing Matthew’s back. “Technically we got back together a little after the attack. And…I don’t think we have to mark just one or the other. Nothing’s black and white.”

“…Maybe zebras…” Elijah murmured, but Sienna cleared her throat.

“Can I raise a toast? To Danny and Bobby. For being so cool and fun…making us smile…being great to work with…”

Her voice choked off. Elijah covered her hand and continued the toast.

“Danny and Bobby. We’ll never forget you. And we wish you were still here.”

“Danny and Bobby…Danny and Bobby…”

One by one, the group raised their glasses and clinked them together in a toast. Sienna began to sob, looked after by Elijah and Aurora. Matthew turned to Rafael and kissed him. No one had the heart to pull them apart.

The bar closed at 1AM and they were sent out into the street, stumbling a little, still talking and laughing loudly. Matthew suggested Donahue’s – why mess with a winning formula? – but when they got there, last call had already been called.

“This is what happens when we go out on a random weeknight…everywhere closes early,” Elijah laughed. “Whose stupid idea was this?”

“If you guys humour me,” Kyra said. “I have an idea…”

They snuck in through the staff entrance of Edenbrook and piled into the elevator, finally emerging onto the rooftop.

“I always wanted to come up to the helipad but I was never urgent enough for a medivac,” Kyra sighed, wistfully, looking out over the lights of the city.

“That’s right, always look on the bright side,” Elijah said. “I don’t suppose anyone grabbed a beer along the way?”

Matthew looked out over the lights and skyscrapers. The apartment he’d grown up in had a similar view over Denver. He didn’t miss it; it had stopped being home a long time ago.

“You sure it’s OK that we’re up here?” Sienna asked.

“What are they gonna do, fire someone?” Jackie sniggered.

“This view takes me back,” Raf sighed, as the group huddled together to take in the view. “Helivac trips…they were something.”

“A good something? Or a bad something?” Aurora asked.

“To be honest, someone had to be in a really bad way for the helicopter. But flying was something else. I still miss that kind of rush.”

Matthew scooted closer to him, relishing his warmth.

“I’ll buy you one for your birthday,” he said. “Not your next birthday, I need to save up. But when I’m a hot shot doctor making mega bucks, I’ll buy you a helicopter.”

“I’ll start looking for apartments with helipads,” Raf laughed.

“Speaking of apartments, when do you move again?” Bryce asked.

“April 1st. Vovó has been dealing with it by buying, I kid you not, eight new throw blankets. ‘In case you get cold, anjinho’,” he quoted, with a fond twinkle in his eye. “Although that makes one each for everyone, so you can all come and stay at Casa Aveiro!”

“Woohoo!”

“Let’s raise the roof!”

“You might have just made a mistake, Raf!”

“Never!”

“I know that wherever life takes us, we’ve bonded too much for it to be the end of us,” Matthew said. “And I’m going to fight tooth and nail to make sure you all remain a part of my life.”

“Stop being a sap and dance!” Jackie laughed. She took her phone out of her purse and opened up a playlist, cranking up the volume until dance music blared over the roof.

“Woo! Dance with me, Elijah!” Sienna cried, spinning round him. He wasted no time, rolling along to the music, and soon Jackie and Aurora were dancing alongside. Not one to be left out, Bryce threw himself right into the middle, giving it his all. Matthew watched from where he stood, completely content to hold Rafael and watch his friends have fun.

“You know you don’t have to buy me a helicopter,” Raf said, sliding his arms around Matthew’s waist and kissing his cheek.

“I’d give you the world, Raf.”

“Are you alright?” Raf asked gently. “I know there’s a lot of things changing right now, I hope you’re not too stressed.”

“Hmm…I don’t wanna talk about that right now.”

Matthew started kissing Raf full on the mouth. He made a little surprised sound, then started kissing him back, holding him close.

“Come home with me tonight,” Matthew begged, and Raf could never say no.

****

The next two weeks passed in the same fashion as they had before, with an ample number of patients passing through the hospital. Raf moved into the North End with the help of his family and friends. Matthew wanted to help but when the day came, he found himself so exhausted, all he wanted to do was sleep. Besides…he had a sneaking suspicion the increased nightmares were because of the prospect of leaving him…losing him again.

The day before the hospital closed, Matthew stood outside with his friends. They had all taken the T together and were now staring at the glass front of the hospital one last time.

“I guess this is it,” Matthew murmured, still in denial.

“Yep,” Jackie replied.

“You know, I wouldn’t change a thing,” Sienna said, She slipped her hand through Matthew’s as they walked through the doors.

“Valentine, I’ll need you on administration in the diagnostics office today,” Ethan said, by way of greeting.

Matthew followed him up to the seventh floor where he got started transferring patient files. They worked in silence, Ethan not having the energy to talk, and Matthew didn’t want to open up the prospect of leaving, when a familiar face suddenly appeared at the door.

“Oh, thank god, you’re here,” Leland Bloom gasped. “Please…my wife…she’s in a bad way…”

“Mr Bloom, the diagnostics team was disbanded,” Ethan said. “But if you need medical attention I can send you to Mass Kenmore.”

“No. We’ve tried every hospital in Boston and no one can figure out what’s wrong,” Mr Bloom spluttered. “Please doctors, I’ll pay whatever you want, your diagnostics team is my last hope.”

He was frantic, looking suspiciously close to tears. His hair was unkempt and his clothes rumpled, wildly different from the stern, uptight billionaire Matthew had seen last August, and he didn’t know how to react. He and Ethan looked at each other…then Ethan nodded resolutely.

“Dr Valentine, page Dr Mirani. Mr Bloom, please bring in your wife,” he said. “The diagnostics team can take one last case.”

Tags: @sazanes @rafasgirl23415 @ceruleansnake0

[ancestorsofjudah]

2 Kings 2: 15-18. "Jericho."

Jericho is the Place of Fragrance. It is a Fortified City that plays a prominent role in the Torah and Tanakh. The Value in Gematria just about says it all, 755, זה‎ה, "same" or shemosh me'oth in Hebrew which means "a bunch of pure giggling young boys or girls."

The term alamoth occurs only twice in the Bible. It's a musical term that's used juxtaposed with sheminith in 1 Chronicles 15:20-21, which makes it clear that both have to do with the way harps and lyres (small harps) were tuned or played. Our word alamoth also occurs in the header of Psalm 46:1.

The verb עלם ('alam) means to be hidden or concealed and noun תעלמה (ta'alumma) describes a hidden thing, but all this with an emphasis on a potential coming out rather than a hiding for, say, safety or mysteriousness.

Noun עלם ('elem) describes a young man, עלמה ('alma) a young woman, and עלומים ('alumim) youth(s) in general, which appears to appeal to the still "hidden" potential of youth.

Likewise the noun עולם (olam), which means forever or everlasting, appears to refer to the potential of any present situation, which may realize when time is unlimited.

To bring out the "hidden water" from a man makes us all more alike than it makes us different. The relief of discovering what life is all about down there just like everyone else is Jericho, the Fragrant Place:

Known to evoke spiritual qualities and feelings and reminding mankind of its creator, fragrance in Jewish wisdom can be summed up with the words of the Talmud: “What is it that provides enjoyment for the soul and not for the body? Fragrance!”

Recall our previous encounters in the Melachim between the King's penises and the opposite sex were disasterous - the last one between King Ahab and Jezebel certainly did not cause anyone to feel anything but dread.

Now, true to the Judaic approach God gives us insight into ways sex is not debauchery, how it forms a company of men around itself rather than a community stockade.

God promised Adam and Eve if they would just be patient, he would eventually tell them what to do, and things would work out. The fulfillment of this promise takes place after the sexual union of two men, but the lessons are the same for all of us:

15 The company of the prophets from Jericho, who were watching, said, “The spirit of Elijah is resting on Elisha.” And they went to meet him and bowed to the ground before him. 

16 “Look,” they said, “we your servants have fifty able men. Let them go and look for your master. Perhaps the Spirit of the Lord has picked him up and set him down on some mountain or in some valley.”

“No,” Elisha replied, “do not send them.”

17 But they persisted until he was too embarrassed to refuse. So he said, “Send them.” And they sent fifty men, who searched for three days but did not find him. 

18 When they returned to Elisha, who was staying in Jericho, he said to them, “Didn’t I tell you not to go?”

In order to understand the meaning of Elijah's union with Elisha, we need to look at the Angel Math:

v. 15: The Number is 10958, יטהח "the knock", naqash, meaning "please yoke me to you."

Na= an entreaty, "knock me up, please."

The verb קשה (qasha I) means to be hard or severe, and is most often deployed in conjunction with the yoke carried by oxen (1 Kings 12:4).

v. 16: The Number is 11599, יאהטט, "will juggle." To juggle is to balance one's desires with one's sense. Yes, God has told us it's all right to schcrew around, except one cannot lie, commit adultery, covet, or violate the Mitzvot, Tzav, Edoms, rules of Kosher etc.

Almost all of the rules for Kosher pertain to ways to avoid trouble while being sexually active.

Let's try a few:

"Do not eat a pig." The Value in Gematria is 427, d. baz, "to surround with booty, to spoil."

One does not eat a pig, one feeds it, stuffs it all right in his ass.

"Do not eat a lizard." The Value is 965. טו‎ה, "that's right!" A lizard steals heat from its surroundings. The translator suggests טונה, a tuna, which also has scales, instead: "Although many Kosher fish are completely covered with scales, Halacha requires only a minimum number of scales to accord a fish Kosher status (see Y.D. 83:1). Tuna, for example, have very few scales, yet are nevertheless considered a Kosher fish."

Tunas, unlike lizards school with other tuna and are much more likely to retain the relationship after intercourse than a reptile.

"Do not eat a gar fish." The Number is 552, heb, "A business associate." =Do not screw the boss, do not let him screw you.

"Do not eat an albatross." The Number is 825, חבה, fondness. The Hebrew word for fondness is chibat, or Shabbat. An albatross is graceful in the air but waddles on the ground. One should not intercourse with someone that is has not considered observing Shabbat, i.e., is not particularly grounded.

"Any man from the house of Israel… who shall offer an offering to G‑d… an animal that has a blemish you shall not offer, for it will not be found desirable…" (22:18- 20)

Every forbidden or desirable animal has some trait one must come to recognize as a plus or negative in a sexual or marital partner. The list is extensive, so I only calculated the values of a few, but it is an exercise worth undertaking from Dear Abby God.

v. 17: The Number is 8281. חבחא‎, lol, "Don't kid yourself."

Across two root groups — אלל ('ll) and אול ('wl) — the Hebrew language seems to insist on a direct relationship between oaks and foolishness/worthlessness, although the connection might simply lay in the act of protruding: a tree protrudes up in the air, a foolish person protrudes from convention, and a worthless item protrudes from the economy of useful things.

Then there are two roots יאל (y'l), of which one is comparable to one of the two roots אול ('wl), while the other denotes the showing of willingness or determination:

v. 18: The Number is 7431, ז‎דג‎א‎, zdga, "Do not defile a holy man."

[suncatchr]

10 and just go ham

Do any of your OCs contain any symbolism in themselves/their story?

Very often I start with a symbol and go from there so this is gonna be fun :3

I guess I'll just go in order and skip anyone who doesn't have symbolism play a huge role in their design or personality/story?

Obviously Koda and co. are heavily symbolised by their powers. Koda is specifically a thunderstorm, reflected in his tense personality. His dour expression is the storm clouds, it's obvious there's something under there. He's also quick to anger (lightning) and easy to sadden (rain). The lightning pattern on his face also comes from his hair, as though it's a cloud. I've struggled with Mae's symbol a LONG time because the soul is kinda hard to symbolize, so that's why I gave her the flowers from her friends I mentioned in the prev ask. They kinda represent her right on her design, baring her soul.

Adding in that Nieve (earth), Jax (space), and Ophie (the body) have kind of "opposite" powers to Koda (air), Noah (time), and Maeja (the soul). So their powers are deeply symbolic of who they are, it's the key to their place in the story. Nieve is stubborn, immovable, Jax is flighty, all-over-the-place, and Ophie is easily swayed by how she feels. I bring them up because they and their powers symbolise what Koda, Noah, and Maeja fear becoming, unchangeable like earth, empty like space, and like... herself, the body.

Emilia is symbolised by fire! Apart from her obvious red hair and yellow (previously pink) outfit, she's got a very excitable and emotional personality. She is passionate and continues to burn as long as her passion is fed, hard to discourage. Mateo controls sound so he's a little more abstract, symbolised by music. He wears ear protectors or headphones usually, blocking out outside sound. He moves by his own tune, or one he creates with his sister.

Heli, Lune, and Cassio! Very obviously the sun, moon, and stars. Since they were my first look at these specific symbols, I made them very typical. Heli, fiery and passionate, warm and loving. Astrologically, the sun is proud, and bold, and self-centred. Obviously the golden skin, eyes, and hair are meant to be reminiscent of the sun, as well as the circular shape of his hair around his head. Lune, tranquil and gentle, emotional and caring. I'm a big moon fan so I went with a lot of positive astrological traits, mystery, wisdom, guidance, and rebirth (Lune reinvents himself multiple times over the course of the story). He's round like the moon, pale with silver hair and eyes. And Cass, erratic and changeable. Just like there are new stars everywhere you look, Cass can be a new person whenever he needs. Astrologically, the stars form the signs, so Cass is great with people, but struggles to stop the orbit and focus on himself. The (initial) failures of his relationships with Heli and Lune and subsequent struggle to find other attachments represents that he is the sky that they are within, surrounding everything but not close enough to touch. Appearance-wise his hair and skin are dark like the night sky, but his eyes are bright like stars. (Percy is a setting sun, the cusp of sunset and moonrise when the stars begin to appear).

Baz and Luca together are symbolised by meteor showers, a major element in their story because the first time Luca leaves his house after the crash is to watch meteors with Baz. People usually wish on meteors, but when they're together, they don't have to make any wishes at all.

Alex and Levi don't technically have but I usually use a dog print for Alex (because he likes dogs :3) and the yin-yang symbol for Levi (as it represents interconnected dualities, to Levi it would represent heaven and earth).

The witches r again symbolised by their powers. Elijah's is hard to physically symbolise lol but the fact that he changes reality is reflected in his absent personality; he doesn't care about anything but the people around him because as far as he's concerned, it's all changeable. Abel is plants: growth, strength, and many elements coming together to make a whole. He never stops learning, especially for the sake of helping others. He is always using what he takes in to grow, and to help others grow. And Jo is darkness. Darkness is impossible to read, there is no knowing if something is even dead or alive in shadow. Jo is hard to read, hard to get through to and hard to rescue from inside his own head, because he's lost in the dark himself.

Only Gabriel has a symbol out of their group, but it can also be used for Anthem because it's a red X. Usually you put a red X on something forbidden, so that's why Anthem has one scarred onto his face; he is branded by someone else as unapproachable and takes it to heart. Gabriel, on the other hand, sews red X's into his jacket to mark the last place he was killed. Not knowing he's in a simulation, he marks the places where something may be missing from him because of gunshots and stab wounds. He stamps over the parts of him that are missing so he doesn't lose them.

Nanook and Maicah are represented by both polar bears and wolves respectively, and the ocean and setting sun respectively. Nanook is specifically a bear with babies, he's nurturing and loving and giving and motherly. Maicah is specifically a lone wolf, set off from its family looking for a new pack, a new place to be. Those were their original concepts though. The ocean represents Nanook's sense of both stability and freedom, the ocean has always been there, will always be here, but it is also vast, and endlessly explorable. Nanook, thus, is extremely loyal and trustworthy, but never stagnant, and always wants to find more life to live. Maicah, as the setting sun, is bordering on chilly in personality despite a warm exterior. Additionally his story is about the sun setting on his life as it was, and him making the choice to begin anew with Nanook.

Seoll, Khaon, and Delta are the next chars with set symbols, a second go at the sun, moon, and stars. The sun represents clarity, energy, positivity, and Seoll has those things in spades. He is deeply prideful and authoritative like the sun in astrology, he is driven towards his goals and believes always that he will achieve them, that he is right and needs no leadership. He's also warm and friendly, a bit more subdued than Heli (for whom energy is the keyword; Seoll's is pride) and more self-centered. He isn't selfish, though, not at first. He cares deeply for his friends and how he looks in other people's eyes. But he also believes himself a hero, and ends up martyring himself for his pride. Khaon, the moon, represents the more negative sides of the moon than Lune, because I kind of favoured Lune lol. The moon can represent mystery and mysticism, fanaticism, immortality. The moon is full of magical energy, and Khaon is well aware of all the magical power and spiritual stake they hold inside them. Immortality manifests in him as a fear of death. His deep awareness of others and everything around him makes him paranoid of people's intentions and the next steps the world is taking. When Seoll is killed, Khaon disappears from Delta's life. Becomes the mystery himself, so lost in his spiritual dread that he can't look someone from his old life in the eye. And Delta, the stars, is erratic and unknowable. Impulsive yet fearful, loving yet cold, irrational yet knowledgeable, quick to anger and to guilt. He doesn't know who he is, what it is he feels when he looks up at that vast, cluttered sky. He does know he loves Seoll, so when Seoll is gone, and Khaon leaves him, Delta reinvents himself on the spot. Dark like the night sky, every star snuffed out. All the emotions that hurt him and the ties to others that snapped just disappear.

Genesis, of course, is represented by the sun. Bright, bubbly, and joyful, Gen loves spreading light in darkness, making ordinary things beautiful. His name, meaning beginning, is also supposed to be reminiscent of the sun, rising on a new day, or flicked on by god in the bible.

Elian, Machiah, Kennedy, and Cody are once again represented by their powers. Elian, given the power of water, is specifically modeled after the very rocky shore in their setting. He's cranky and impatient, restless and uncomfortable. He doesn't like to stay in one place or be stuck doing one thing, he has to be able to retreat into the tide as he pleases. He's also based off of Mami Wata, who is accompanied by snakes, a symbol of divinity. Snakes are uncommon in Barbados (thanks colonialism), but Elian can see one, whenever he makes a moral judgement and makes use of his power (this is a responsibility of theirs, the purpose of their divinity). Or at least he thinks he can. Machiah controls wind, represented by his breezy personality and airheadedness. He's extremely smart, but so obsessed with just doing whatever. He can also get very out of control very fast, kicking up a storm because he couldn't tell he was bothered, that the sky was getting heavy with clouds. He's also based off of Anansi, the trickster spirit, whom is a spider. When he makes his moral judgements, he might catch sight of a spider, or someone else may get caught in a web. Kennedy controls darkness. Also based off of duppy, malevolent spirits who may appear in any form, Kennedy is mysterious and miserable. He keeps to himself and tends to prefer the cover of darkness to engage with the world. He himself is not malevolent, but his ghost symbolism comes up in how he begins to disappear, how things are taken from him until he is mostly resentful. (This makes him look like a real downer of a character nsjbssj his symbolism is supposed to contrast his kind, easygoing and responsible personality to represent how sometimes it's not you. It's the dark world around you.) And Cody, the only one who's only based off his power. He controls perception, so his symbol is of course eyes, although he controls how people perceive all five senses. Eyes obviously represent sight, something Cody can't trust in himself or anyone else. He doesn't know how people see him because he controls perception, and so he doesn't know if he should be altering how everyone sees him and hears him. And he doesn't know if he already is.

The Major Arcana! Their names are their symbols, for the most part. Arwen means noblewoman, and Arwen is very well-mannered, appropriate and sophisticated, also a huge traditionalist. Crows represent death, the future, and destiny, so Crow is very future-oriented, trying to look out for himself and shed parts of his life that no longer serve him, allow death and change around him. Dawn, a character with several new beginnings; he attempts to start his life over in a new place three times and forces his ideology to change when he isn't satisfied. Dovey, his peaceful and humanitarian sister, is devoted and hopeful as doves symbolise. Elio, the sun again, is an upstart, hot-headed and eternally persistent. Harley, which means valley of hares, is symbolised by the hare, abundance, ambition, and prosperity, and follows his whims to achieve whatever it is he wants. Nakoa, meaning warrior, is very gentle and tranquil... unless the situation calls for him to fight. Loyal and driven, Nakoa would fight to the death. Theoretically. And Sunday, another sun character, is warm, bright, and inviting, and encourages growth in others.

Everybody else has yet to fit in with a symbol because of the nature of how they came about :] but I love symbols and representations so it is by design that I get to add more later on >:3

[jerzwriter]

Betwixt, Bothered, & Bewildered

Book: Open Heart (Book )

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Rating: Teen

Summary: Casey’s friends push her to move forward after her break-up with Tobias, while his friends do their best to keep him from doing more damage. Each makes a discovery that makes them think twice, but will they regret it?

Warnings: Cursing, some alcohol consumption

Words: 5.3k (It's long, but a lot happens. I hope you'll think it's worth it. 😊)

A/N: This is kind of the build-up before the big storm because the series, and their stories, will be forever altered after this chapter. This was originally part of a series called “Their Start,” but I decided to break it down into individual fics that explain how they came to be, fell apart, and got back together again. Because of this, this is a little longer than average fanfic.

MOST CHARACTERS AND BOLDED TEXT BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Tobias x Casey Headcanon Masterlist Tobias x Casey Full Masterlist All Series/Pairings Masterlist

Perhaps Casey should have expected her morning to be… unusual… but it wasn't until she flipped on the local news to find Senator Farrugia speaking about her that she realized how uncommon it was going to be. After warding off the shrieks of her roommates, she returned to her room and emerged looking far more professional than she ever had before.

“That’s it!” Jackie exclaimed. “Work it for the cameras!”

“You know," Sienna injected. "If we're walking in with her, we should probably."

“Already on it!" Jackie announced en route to her room. "I have a pair of thrift shop Manolos that have been waiting for this occasion!”

Aurora sipped her coffee at the table, relieved she could remain in her scrubs; after all, there was no press at Kenmore.

“It's so weird; when Farrugia was my patient, he didn't talk about me. In fact, he was trying to keep his hospitalization a secret.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Elijah shrugged. “Carrick would have let you have the spotlight anyway.”

Aurora’s slapped Elijah’s shoulder as she shifted her eyes to Casey.

“Elijah! Are you mentioning he of whom we shall not speak?” Sienna scolded.

“Guys, you can say his name. I'm not going to melt if you do,” Casey half-smiled.

Jackie emerged from her room looking like a million dollars. “I don’t know what I missed here, but Greene, if you expect us to be seen walking into the building with us, you better up your game.”

“Yeah! Apparently, I have a reputation to uphold,” Casey chuckled.

“You guys don't have to worry" Elijah teased. "I’ve got Manolos, too!"

_____

Ethan jumped up from his seat when Casey barreled in through the office door. He stared at her in bewilderment.

“What?” she asked.

“Your clothing is far more presentable than your usual fare. But it's a direct contrast to your unkempt hair and dazed expression. I’m trying to figure this out.”

"I... It's just... crazy out there," she frowned.

Seeing how stressed she was, Ethan quickly changed his tone.

"I'm sorry," he stated. "The media is like feral hounds today. Are you all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted, but he knew they were lies. He would have addressed it if he could, but Baz exuberantly entered the room, plopping a box of sprinkled donuts on the table.

“Some sweets to celebrate!" He beamed. "I still can’t believe you pulled it off!”

Baz was floored by Casey's lack of enthusiasm. He expected it from Ethan, but...

“What's up, Case?" He asked. "You sure don’t look like someone who is celebrating.”

“I guess I'm not."

“You're not? If I were you, I’d be having the staff roll me around the halls on a rose-covered gurney for at least a week.”

“Then I suppose we're all eternally grateful that it wasn’t you,” Ethan declared.

“Don’t misunderstand, Baz. I am glad we got the senator, but while I was at Kenmore, Mrs. Balentine coded, and little Maya Cortez had an anxiety attack... I wasn’t here for them," Casey frowned.

“So? I took care of Mrs. Balentine," Juna announced as she walked in the room. "Maya was stabilized and she's fine. You’re not the only one on staff, Casey.”

“But they're my patients, and I was on the clock! I'm one of the only people Maya trusts, but I wasn't here because I was off….”

“… doing your part to keep this department and your beloved clinic afloat. Snagging Ferrugia may have saved all of our jobs, it might keep the clinic open. Then how many Mayas will you have helped? You need to begin looking at the big picture, Casey."

“Like you care about the big picture,” Casey barked. “You probably wouldn't even care about our department if it didn't benefit you. Doctors like you and Carrick, it’s all about the next article, your next win, getting the spotlight. It’s never about the patients!”

Ethan shot Casey an approving look; he couldn’t have agreed more, but he needed to reel her in for the benefit of the team.

“Casey, I think you need to….”

“It’s fine,” June interrupted, waving Ethan off dismissively. “We have a difference of opinion. But let me be clear, I am not ashamed of looking out for myself. Noble acts only get you so far, sometimes they even backfire. Think of all the patients who will not get care if the clinic closes. You’re a big girl now, Casey… it's time you understand the big picture."

Casey pursed her lips together, she knew she should let it go, but before she knew it, she heard herself speaking.

“June, I'd love to know what game you and Carrick are playing. Did he tell you to tell me about Farrugia? Were you both using me for some scheme? I don’t appreciate being toyed with and used!”

The satisfied smirk that crept onto June’s lips confirmed what Casey already knew... should have bit her tongue.

“Tobias doesn't tell me to do anything," she sneered. "Even if he did, he wouldn't make such a... rookie mistake. He's a grown-up who knows we're all out for number one in the end. But at least this explains those unusual texts I received from him last night. It all makes sense now. So, thank you for providing some clarity, Dr. MacTavish."

“OK,” Ethan blurted. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but we’re bringing this back to work now."

“Fine with me!” June grinned smugly as she grabbed a folder and headed toward the door. “I have a consult anyway.”

“Yeah,” Baz stated nervously. “I do too.”

When they were both gone, Ethan turned to Casey.

“I know, I know…” she said. "Please don't lecture me! I feel stupid enough."

“I'm not lecturing, but can I offer you some advice?"

“Do I have a choice?”

“No,” he chortled. “There are all kinds of doctors, Casey. You and I aren’t cut from the same cloth as Hirata or Carrick, and that's a good thing as far as I’m concerned. But don’t be so hard on yourself. June isn’t all wrong. Getting Farrugia could give us the chance to help so many others. I’m sure neither of us plans on engineering heists regularly, but for now, just take the win.”

“Fine."

Casey bumped her shoulder against Ethan's, playfully sulking like a scolded child, and he couldn't help but laugh.

“Now, why don’t you tell me what’s going on between you and June?”

“The bulk of it is personal, and... I'd really rather not discuss it."

“That's fine. But if it is personal, it needs to stay out of the hospital. We have to work as a team while we’re here.”

“Trust me, I know all about the dangers of personal and professional worlds colliding.”

“But why do you think Carrick would tell her about Farrugia? Why would he want to dangle that fruit?”

“I don’t know... he couldn’t help bragging? Or….”

“Or?”

“Or maybe he thought if I stole Farruggia, we'd be even after he stole Stephanie. Then maybe…” she stared off momentarily until the sound of Ethan clearing his throat brought her back. "I don't know," she continued. "But June says it wasn’t him... what does it matter anyway? I have patients to care for, and that's what I should be doing now, don't you agree?"

"I do," he smiled. "Get to it, MacTavish."

_____

(Some information on original characters can be found here.)

Kerry was multi-tasking when her phone rang. “Pain in the Ass” appeared at the top of her screen, accompanied by a high school photo of Tobias.

“What did you do now?” She answered.

In Boston, Tobias was wearing the carpet out as he paced in his bedroom. He told her about what happened last night and how it led to the horrific hangover he was nursing today.

“Damn!” Kerry gushed. “She stole Farrugia? That's badass! I need to meet her!"

"Uhm, she isn't even talking to me, Kerry."

"Irrelevant! I like her, I know we'll be friends! Who needs you?"

“You know I don't want to interrupt the expansion of your social circle, but I'm calling because I'm a little bit of a mess... so can we focus?"

“Sorry, my bad.”

“What did I do wrong, Kerry?”

“You didn’t tell her.”

“But I did! I told her June and I were together, but it was in the past.”

“Yeah, but you didn't clarify that the past meant up until your first date with Casey. They work together, T. You should have offered full disclosure."

“I know, but I was afraid she would have cut me off.”

“And that would have been her prerogative, but at least you would have done the right thing.”

“So, you’re saying I did the wrong thing?”

“Not exactly,” Kerry sighed. “It’s complicated. But if June was being so persistent with you, why didn’t you just block her number?”

“Because hindsight is 20/20! This is why I avoided all this relationship crap. It's so much... work! And I already have a job!"

“Aww, poor baby. So, if it's so draining, get off the phone with me. Go pick up some insipid eye candy at a bar and do your usual. Back to business... right?"

"You know, that was my first instinct... it really was. But..."

"But?"

"I don't want anyone else. I just want to make things right with Casey. I want her. What the fuck is wrong with me, Ker? This is all so \… unnatural.”

“Welcome to understanding what it's like to be in love, Tobias. It only took you 36 years."

“Hey! I never said, love!" He insisted.

“Well, it sounds like more than like. But, T, I have to be honest... you may have already blown it with her."

“Thanks for the encouragement, sis.”

“You know better than to come to me if you don't want the truth. My best advice to you? Just leave her alone for now. If there's going to be any chance, you need to give her space. And you need to stop fixating. Find a healthy form of distraction, and that doesn't mean that nurse you were sleeping with.”

“I’m not calling you anymore," he grumbled.

“Yes, you are," Kerry smiled. "But T... try not to do anything stupid before we talk again, OK?"

“What's the likelihood of that happening?” He chuckled.

"Slim to none, but try!"

_____

Sienna was finishing off the dishes while Jackie wiped down the kitchen table.

“Want to watch a movie?” Jackie asked.

Sienna scrunched her nose. “I’m not in the mood. Why don’t we play Taboo?”

“Because we'd need a fourth player,” Aurora injected, "and Elijah will be too tired when he gets home.”

“So, ask Casey?” Jackie answered.

Sienna and Aurora both shot her a knowing look.

“Don’t tell me she’s holed up in her room again?” Jackie groused.

“She is,” Sienna frowned.

“This is absurd,” Jackie replied. “Is this all because of Aurora’s slimy boss?”

Sienna shrugged. “She really liked him, and she's her. It left her doubting a lot... most of all herself."

“For what it’s worth, I think she regrets swiping Farrugia, too,” Jackie added. “She feels like she stooped to his level, and she's questioning what kind of doctor she is."

"Not to mention that Farrugia is the patient from hell," Sienna agreed. "from hell. "He’s demanding, thinks he is her only patient, and has his nose in everything.”

Aurora shook her head.

“The senator was an asshole at Kenmore, too. Honestly, I wasn’t sad to see him go. But for what it's worth, Tobias has been miserable, too. He's gone from being the fun attending everyone loved to a grumpy ass we all avoid.”

“Lucky you!” Sienna chuckled. “You deal with Casey at home and him at work.”

“I am doing my best to avoid them both,” Aurora grinned. “But don’t worry, they'll be OK in time.”

“Yeah, and that time starts now,” Jackie snapped. “You may have no choice but to tolerate his bullshit at work. But this is home, and it ends today.”

“Wait!” Sienna hollered after Jackie as she stomped down the hall. “What are you doing? Come back here!”

But Jackie was already in Casey’s room.

“That’s it!” she yelled, yanking the covers off of Casey. “You’ve been moping around long enough! We’re all sick of it, and we’re doing something about it.”

“Jackie! We did not agree to this approach!” Sienna yelled.

“You don’t get to decide what I need, Jackie,” Casey balked. “I know what I need, and right now, it's this bed and….”

“A shower,” Aurora inserted. “You could really use a shower.”

“Yes!” Jackie hollered. “That’s what you need! Go take one! NOW! And use extra soap! When you’re done, we’re dressing you up.”

“Dressing me up? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t have to,” Jackie smirked. “We’re hooking you up like the badass hottie you are, and then you’re making a Tinder profile. And don’t even try to say no.”

“Jackie, I am not creating a Tinder profile!”

“You know,” Sienna hummed, “that's not the worst idea.”

“Are you serious, Si?” Casey rebuffed.

“I am! Come on, Casey! It's just for fun! What you do with it is up to you, but it would be so much fun making one. What do you say?”

“I say you must have been dropped on your head as a child if you think that sounds like fun!”

“Come on, please,” Sienna pleaded. “It’ll give us some much-needed girl time.”

Casey was visibly aggravated, but they already saw signs of surrender. After all, she knew it would take more energy to argue with her friends than thank to give in. Mumbling curses under her breath, she headed to the shower.

_____

“OK, you HAVE to wear that hot little black dress!” Jackie exclaimed.

Casey’s lips formed a bittersweet smile as she recalled wearing it when she told Tobias she was done.

“No. It'll look like I’m trying too hard.”

“Why don’t we see if there are some pictures on your phone that you like," Sienna suggested. "Who says we have to use pictures taken tonight?”

“That’s a good idea,” Aurora agreed. “I always loved that one of you from the street fair in Cambridge last summer.”

“Oh, the one where I’m drinking out of a coconut shell! Let's use that!”

Her friends exchanged smiles as they watched the light begin to return in Casey's eyes.

“Ooooh! I like this one,” Sienna pointed.

“Let me see!” Casey grabbed the phone and her smile dropped. It was a great shot. She had the brightest smile... she was glowing.

“This picture…” she stammered. “Tobias took it when we were at that festival... it was such a nice day...."

Sienna shrugged defensively when Jackie shot her a look. Casey’s emotions were on another roller coaster ride she never asked to take. Wistfulness, longing, followed by anger, then, finally, regret rolled over her. She couldn’t use that photo. It wouldn’t be right... then she changed her mind on a dime.

“Screw it!” she shouted. “I look fucking amazing in that picture! Use it!”

“OK,” Sienna grinned. “But let’s take one new one tonight. What do you want to wear?”

“I want to wear this,” she said, looking down at her white camisole and denim shorts.

“That?” Jackie questioned.

"Yes. I want. I want people to know the real me. Besides, I can make this an adorable photo!”

She jumped onto her bed and rolled onto her stomach.

“Here, like this!”

“That’s perfect,” Sienna agreed.

“Well, we have our three photos," Aurora smiled. "Let's make a profile!"

And just like that, Casey was back on the market.

The following two weeks were exhausting. Casey’s workload was insane, and Farrugia became more difficult by the day. Navigating both him and his obnoxious assistant, Travis, was practically a full-time job in itself. Especially since the team was coming up empty. Every idea hit a dead end, and the senator was losing patience.

While she’d never admit to it, her Tinder profile provided a much-needed ego boost at times. The right swipes came in by the dozen. While she still had no interest in dating, it was still nice to know so many found her appealing during a time when she felt anything but. At the end of each day, she’d look through the responses just for laughs. Then, one night, two men caught her eye. She decided to swipe right herself, and she started to chat with both. By the end of the week, she had two dates lined up.

_____

Tobias was trying to distract himself, but his mind kept wandering back to Casey no matter how hard he tried. Kerry and Sasha began to encourage him to get out there again; it hurt to see him so unlike himself. But he just didn't want to... not yet... he was confident if he gave it just a little more time, he'd get a second chance.

One morning, he found himself in a decent mood, so he decided to mend some fences with the residents he had been frightening as of late. In the past, when Dr. Carrick entered the resident's break room, he was met with enthusiasm. He was funny, always had great stories to tell, and at least half the residents had crushes on him. But that Dr. Carrick seemed to be long gone, so they weren’t sure how to react as he approached their table. Luckily, his bright smile put them at ease.

Conversation flowed as easily. Coffee filled their cups, and laughter filled the room. Even Tobias felt the light beginning to creep in through the cracks, and it felt good.

“Dr. Carrick, aren't you on Kenmore’s bowling league?" Anna, a pretty red-headed resident, asked.

“As if he’d be on the bowling team,” Craig, a handsome, burly resident, scoffed. “He’s far too cool for that!”

“Actually, I do bowl,” Tobias corrected. “But I haven’t been on the hospital’s league in years.”

“Well, maybe you should consider joining. I am,” Anna winked.

Craig and his buddy Matt rolled their eyes as Anna shot them a dirty look. Matt caught it, but Craig didn't; his face had been glued to his phone the entire time.

“Do you ever put your phone down?" Tobias admonished. "What the hell are you so obsessed with, anyway? Is texting your girlfriend that interesting?”

“He wishes,” Matt mocked. “Trying to find a girlfriend is more like it. The man swipes right so much he’s going to have an arthritic thumb.”

“I’m just waiting for the right one,” Craig shot back. “Isn’t that how it works, Dr. C?”

“Hey! I’m almost 37 and single, much to my mother’s chagrin. I might not be the best person to ask for advice on this front.”

“Oh!” Craig exclaimed.

“Let me guess,” Matt sneered. “You found the latest love of your life.”

“Oh, this one is not like the rest!” Craig all but panted. “Seriously, call off the dogs! I have found the future mother of my children!”

“You've seen one photo," Anna chided. "So clearly, she’s the love of your life."

“Three photos,” Craig corrected snidely. “And are you telling me you don’t believe in love at first sight? Because I do.”

“Can love at first sight be scientifically proven, Dr. Carrick,” Anna asked with doe eyes.

Tobias remained silent as his mind wandered to the first time he saw Casey at the deli. Was it love? He wasn't sure... but he felt... something.

“Not everything is provable by science, Anna. So if the man says he’s in love," he pat Craig's back, "we have to take him at his word.”

“See!” Craig smiled. “Wait! Holy shit! She’s a doctor, too! Right here in Boston. Where has this angel been hiding the past two years?”

“From you….” Matt smirked.

“Well, she can hide no more. I am so swiping right.”

“Give me that phone,” Tobias chuckled, yanking Craig’s phone from his hand. “Let me see this woman that has you all….”

The mood of the room changed instantly when Tobias's words stopped cold. His eyes went wide, his jaw nearly hit the floor, and his nostrils began to flare in an unnatural way. The residents watched in fear as their one-time favorite attending morphed from Bruce Banner into the Hulk before their eyes. Then he set his gaze on Craig, and his friends were pretty sure that if looks could kill, they would be calling Craig's next of kin that night.

“Did you swipe right?” Tobias angrily asked. “Did you?”

“Uhh, no… not yet. I was about to….”

“Well, you’re not," he snapped. "Do you hear me? You’re not. Not today, not ever! You’re not even going to think about it. You’re not going to dream about it. In fact, why don’t you just delete the app from your phone? That’s probably the safest option for everyone.”

“Uhm. OK," Craig replied nervously. "Is she your girlfriend or something?”

Anna tossed her head back with a laugh. “Dr. Carrick doesn’t do girlfriends, Craig! We all know that."

But the smile ran from her face when his cold eyes moved to her.

“Is something funny?” He asked.

“No... not in the least,” she muttered.

“Good. Now, breakfast has lasted long enough. Everyone... get back to work!”

Anna smacked Craig's shoulder the second Tobias stepped out of the room.

“Nice going! Now we’ve got Carrick’s evil twin to deal with for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, by the look on his face,” Matt added, “It’s going to be a lot longer than a day.”

_____

Tobias was no stranger to Tinder. But the app hadn't graced his phone since he met... yeah. But he was putting it back on tonight, and he was doing it with a vengeance.

“You need to rethink this,” Kerry muttered. "Just sleep on it."

“I’m with Kerry,” Sasha concurred on the three-way call. “You’re being impulsive and, when you’re impulsive….”

“She’s on Tinder with a photo I took of her! The writing is on the wall! She’s done. So I guess I’m done too. Besides, weren’t you two telling me to get out there again? Well, I’m getting out there again!”

“Yeah,” Sasha said, “but not like this. Just... sleep on it.”

“Nope! I’ve got my photos picked and I’m ready to roll.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Kerry sighed.

“One of me in my labcoat….”

“Are you freaking kidding me? T! That’s pathetic. You know you can put “Doctor” in your bio, right?” Sasha scolded.

“I have one from when I was in Cancun. I look damn good if I must say so myself.”

“You must,” Kerry said, taking a sip of wine. "Cause I sure as hell am not."

“This is going to end badly,” Sasha lamented.

“And the last one… hah! Casey took this one. It's perfect! I think I’m good to go.”

“I think you’re an asshole here,” Kerry opposed.

“Noted. But I'm still doing it. Good night, ladies. Thanks for your help.”

“Wait, I had no part in this!” Kerry shouted.

“T,” Sasha pleaded. “You know what happens when you don’t listen….”

Click.

“…to us.”

And just like that, Tobias was back on the market.

Casey went on dates with both contenders. Ryder, the adorable and sweet pediatrician from Boston Children’s Hospital, would be almost perfect... at another time. But he was looking for a wife, and Casey was just trying to find her footing.

But then there was Raj. Drop-dead gorgeous with a smile that made her weak at the knees. He was funny and put her at ease. Their conversation just flowed as they walked along the Charles River. They both came from lower-middle-income backgrounds and had loving parents who encouraged them to follow their dreams. He put himself through college and dental school and now ran a successful private practice in Brookline.

He was open to things becoming more serious if they moved that way, but like Casey, he wanted to take it slow. But after a week of talking and a delightful first date, he liked where it was going. When he dropped her off, he asked if he could see her again after work tomorrow, and she agreed. He kissed her forehead before she turned and went into her apartment, where Sienna pounced on her as soon as she walked in the door.

“Well? Well?”

“Do I get even a minute here, Si?”

“Nope. You don’t. Spill!”

“It was great,” Casey smiled. “He’s charming, witty, easy to talk to… and gorgeous.”

“Are we seeing him again?”

“Tomorrow.”

Sienna squealed. “I’m so excited!”

Casey smiled, but her best friend could see something lurking under the surface.

“Aren’t you excited?” Sienna asked.

“I am. Raj is really great, and I want to get to know him more, but….”

“But?”

Casey let out a sigh. “He kissed my forehead before I came inside... and suddenly, I was back on my first date with Tobias. He kissed my forehead, too... and when he did, my whole body shuddered. That didn't happen now. And if I’m still feeling like this, then maybe I shouldn’t be dating yet, Si.”

“Do you want Tobias back, Casey? Because if you do, I’m sure he’d be….”

“No! We’re done. I don’t even like him after what he did to me."

"But you never gave him a chance to explain," Sienna pointed out.

"I don't think he deserves it. I don't want him, Si, but I just can't...."

“Forget him?”

“Yeah,” Casey sighed. “I just can’t forget him.”

"If I were you, I'd give Raj a chance. Go on one more date... baby steps. In time, you'll get past Tobias."

"Well, I am seeing him after work tomorrow."

"Good!" Sienna smiled. "And I'm helping you pick out an outfit!"

_____

Tobias checked his phone constantly... the right swipes were non-stop. It seemed like all of Boston wanted a shot at him, and while he thought this would excite him, it didn’t. Deep down, he knew he had created a new profile for one reason and one reason alone...it was insane, and he knew it. Even if she saw it, why would she contact him? She could call if she wanted to, and it was clear she didn't.

While Casey had been on her date with Raj, Tobias returned to his townhome after a particularly difficult day at work. He showered and sat on the couch with a beer in his hand. One beer became two, and before he knew it, a six-pack was gone. He opened Tinder and went directly to Casey's profile, staring at her for what felt like an eternity. His head told him to put the phone down, but his heart was fighting it tooth and nail. Tired of the internal struggle raging within him, he finally gave in.

“Fuck it!” he said aloud as he quickly swiped right.

It's amazing how fast a nice buzz can disappear. It had been pleasantly taking the edge off just a brief time before, but now, with just one swipe of his thumb, reality seized him, and he was stone-cold sober. He fell back in bed, shaking his head as he chuckled sardonically.

“I may as well go to bed,” he said out loud. “No use waiting up to see how long it takes Casey to block me.”

_____

Casey was eating breakfast in the cafeteria the next day when Raj’s text came in.

I had a wonderful time, and I can’t wait to see you again.

She smiled softly and began to reply, accidentally opening a notification that came in from Tinder as she typed. The app opened, and curiosity got the better of her. She looked at the first photo and swiped left. Second, same thing. Then she saw the third, and her breath hitched. A picture she had taken of Tobias stared back at her, and she was transfixed. She remembered that day; his eyes felt like they were piercing her very soul, and though it was only a photo, they were having the same effect now.

What is it about this man?

Why do I care?

But, I did sort of even things out…. she began to reason.

...and Sienna is right, I never gave him a chance to explain things about June… not really….

But what the hell is he doing on Tinder? Oh, wait, I’m on Tinder too….

It felt like the oxygen was escaping the room as she attempted to stop her head from spinning and her heart from racing.

What am I doing?

She knew she should put the phone away. She knew she should forget about him. This was all a mistake… but she swiped right anyway, and then she exhaled. She smiled as a feeling of satisfied relief enveloped her for exactly one moment before it was replaced by a sense of impending doom.

What were you thinking?

He finally left you alone!

I must be able to undo this… how do you undo this… fuck! I can’t undo it!

As if his ego wasn't big enough already!

He’s going to think I’m pathetic. He’ll probably laugh at me…

He should laugh at me….

With angry tears in her eyes, she threw the phone into her pocket, cursing her poor judgment. With her stomach churning, eating breakfast was now out of the question. She tossed her paper bag into the trash can and she was only certain of one thing. When she got home, she was deleting that damn app.

_____

A few curses rolled off Tobias’s lips as he hit snooze on his phone for the third time. This time, he had to get up. His eyes squinted shut when he lifted his head from the pillow. It wasn’t quite a hangover, but it was a definitive reminder that he was not twenty-five anymore. But the damage was done, and today, he'd have to pay the price. He slipped his feet into the slippers beside his bed, and he stretched his arms over his head as he shuffled to the bathroom. That’s when he felt the bricks began to fall.

“Oh, fuck!” he yelled as his mind began to recall... it wasn’t a dream. He did it.

This is how I give her space….

I am going to look like a freaking stalker….

He grabbed his phone and opened Tinder, just to confirm that Casey had blocked him. Instead, he found something very different.

“What the….”

His eyebrows knit together as he tapped furiously on his phone, assuming he must have done something wrong. After all, there was no way, right? She wouldn’t… was she giving him another chance?

You and Casey have liked each other.

Maybe she did. Without thought, he snapped a screenshot, almost afraid it would disappear. Then, with a stupid grin, he slumped back into bed. This was more than he hoped for, perhaps, more than he deserved, but he promised himself right then and there... if she gave him another shot, there was no way he was blowing it. If she was doing this... he would see to it that they worked.

With his spirits rising, he stepped into the shower with enthusiasm that hadn't existed just moments before. Suddenly, he knew... it was going to be a great day.

_____

Back at Edenbrook:

“Casey!” Danny yelled, “I was just looking for you! I have the results from that paint sample you tested. It was marked urgent.”

“Oh! Thank you, Danny,” she said, pulling the results from his hands. “Negative! There wasn’t any lead in Senator Farrugia’s house? How can that be?”

She retreated to the empty diagnostics office and took a seat at the computer, typing the senator’s name into a search engine. Page after page of items tracking his every move appeared, but nothing jumped out. As the articles got older, the headlines began to refer to him as ‘Mayor Ed.” One link caught her eye…

Three dead in lead poisoning scandal… aging lead pipes have been poisoning the water supply… three deaths, including thirteen-year-old Jonathan Perry….

“Oh my god, That’s Travis’s last name! He’s from the senator's hometown, and….”

Casey jumped to her feet and ran out of the office. Security Officer Gunderson stood outside of the senator’s room, chatting idly with Rafael.

“Bobby! Call the police, now!”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“The senator’s aid, Travis… I think he’s been poisoning him.”

_____

Tobias was fidgeting uncomfortably at his desk. Nearly three hours had passed since he sent Casey a message... and it had been radio silence ever since. The fact that he had checked his phone dozens of times didn’t stop him from checking once more.

Nothing.

The hope that had brightened his world just hours before was slowly diminishing. Of course, she wasn’t giving him another chance, and he felt like a fool for ever believing she would.

“So much for getting your hopes up, Carrick,” he sighed.

And like that, it was clear, this was not going to be a great day.

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OH Tags: @aishwarya26 @onikalover @peonyblossom @toadfrog26

Tobias Only: @icecoffee90

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[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

✨Tam's Masterlist✨

This is a strictly 18+ blog! - Minors Do Not Interact! -

Please be aware of the fact that I vastly indulge in writing dark!smut that's stuffed to the brim with various kinks, drug issues and violence at times. Browse this blog with care if any of that upsets you!

I have nothing against a good heap of heartwarming, fuzzy fluff from time to time, but when it comes to fanfiction I like to go crazy, because it's fiction.

With that in mind, I'd also like to point out that I do NOT support any kind of the dark themes, that I'm tackling, in real life just because I write about them. So please, please refrain yourself from coming at me. If my writing is not up your alley that's perfectly fine and I'll suggest you just move on.

- My stories/fanfics will NEVER contain any form of animal cruelty or inappropriate interactions with minors -

On that notion, here's what I won't write about:

- Snuff Porn, Necrophilia -

If you want to join in on the Taglist feel free to drop me a message or ask!

Messages, asks and prompts are always welcome! But please be considerate and polite! 🖤

A03

Character written for so far:

Animal Kingdom:

Craig Cody

Deran Cody

Berry "Baz" Cody

MCU:

James Buchanan Barnes/TWS

Loki Laufeyson

The Moon Knight Boys

Others:

Robert Pronge aka Mr. Freezy - The Iceman

Jax Teller - Sons of Anarchy

Sheriff Lee Bodecker - TDATT

Duke Leto Atreides - Dune (2021)

Eddie Munson - Stranger Things

Jack Thurlow - Jack Goes Home

Kappa - Black Mirror 6

Roman Roy - Succession

Samuel Lafferty - Under The Banner Of Heaven

Elijah Kamski - Detroit: Become Human

Gavin Reed - Detroit: Become Human

Simon Walker - Hollyoaks

Edward "Ned" Low - Black Sails

Saroo Brierly - Lion

The Kid/Bobby - Monkey Man

Hugo Fraser-Tyrwhitt - The Riot Club

Father Ignatius - Lambs Of God

Masterlist-Navigation:

Animal Kingdom:

Abandoned Until Further Notice

Behind The Fence - Female!OFC x Craig Cody [A lot of smut, Kinky issues, some violence, 18+!] (aka my Animal Kingdom thirst party 😏)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 / Part 3.2

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7 / Part 7.2 / Part 7.3

Part 8 / Part 8.2

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12 / Part 12.2

Part 13

Animal Kingdom Off-Story One-Shots:

One - Female!OFC x Craig Cody

A Little Reward - Female!OFC x Craig Cody

The Two Of You - Female!OFC x Craig Cody

Numb - Female!OFC x Craig Cody

Please Don't Say That You Love Me - Female!OFC x Craig Cody

Forbidden Thoughts - Female!OFC × Craig Cody

In Waves - Female!OFC x Craig Cody

Smoke On The Water- Female!OFC x Craig Cody

Moonlight - Female!OFC x Baz Blackwell / Michael Corvin (totally lost my chill)

Viking - Craig Cody x fem!Reader (Smut 18+, Shower Sex)

Nomis - Night Hunter:

Abandoned Until Further Notice

Cinnamon | A Night Hunter Story - Walter Marshall × Fran Carters (OFC) [ Angst, Fluff, Trauma Talk... you get the overall mood ]

Chapter 1 - Denial

Chapter 2 - Anger

Walter Marshall One-Shots:

The Sweater Thief - Walter Marshall x Reader [ fluffy Walter Marshall HC ]

Drunk Decisions - Walter Marshall x Reader [fluffy Walter Marshall HC]

Stairway To Heaven - Walter Marshall × Reader [loss of a pet, angst, hurt/comfort]

August Walker:

A Little Nap - Daddy!August x Reader [fluff]

One Of Those Days - Daddy!August x Reader [angsty fluff]

Spill The Drink - Daddy!August × Reader [mental illness, comforting daddy talk]

They Won't Know - August Walker × Reader [soft!smut, HC no one ever asked for]

A Love Letter From August x August Walker × Reader [Me sending in a fun ask]

Listen And Obey - Daddy!August x Reader [dirty, dirty smut (18+!), denial, male dom]

Not Enough - Daddy!August x little!Reader [angsty drabble, DDlg themed]

Not Enough Pt. 2 - Daddy!August × little!Reader [a bit angsty, August being August, tho]

Whole Lotta Love - August x Reader [Reader is having a little fun on a mission]

Geralt of Rivia:

The Monster They Wanted Him To Be - feral!Geralt x Reader [implied NonCon, primal hunter/prey, 18+!]

Steve Rogers:

Movie Night - Steve Rogers x Reader [SMUT, Daddy Kink, 18+!]

Movie Night II - Steve Rogers x Reader [More SmUt, More Daddy Kink, 18+!]

Paint It Red - nomad!Steve x Reader [Dark!, 18+!, blood play, self harm issues]

My Bucky List:

He Even Came With Instructions- The Winter Soldier x Dark!Female!Mob!Reader [Dark!Smut, DubCon/NonCon, FemDom]

Sleepless - Bucky Barnes × Reader [Smut, somnophilia, thigh riding, 18+!]

The Thing With Cats And Water - Bratty!Bucky Barnes x Reader [ Smutty Fluff 18+!, a bit of Mommy Kink, implied further smut ]

Lock And Key - sub!Bucky x dom!Reader [BDSM Fluff, 18!+]

Atonement - sub!Bucky x dom!Reader (Smut 18+!, spit kink, implied further smut)

Can't Run, Can't Hide - stalker!Bucky x Reader [gets gradually darker, 18+!]

Sleaze Dog - Rockstar!Bucky × Reader [18!+, alcohol abuse, angst]

Hold Me Close - sub!Bucky × dom!Reader [a lot of angst, non-sexual BDSM, choking]

His Asset:

His Asset- Dark!Winter Soldier x Fem!Reader [very dark smut, 18+!, a fic straight out of hell]

His Asset Part 2 - Dark!Winter Soldier x Fem!Reader [it's getting even darker, 18+!, force-feeding, very dark thoughts]

Moon Knight:

The Vegan In A Steakhouse - sub!Steven Grant × fem!Reader [public smut 18+!, gentle femdom, Steve being the puppy that he is]

Blood In The Sand - Marc Spector x mercenary!fem!Reader [desert porn 18+!, oral, mutual touching]

Te Amo- Jake Lockley × Sex Worker!Fem!Reader [implied smut 18+!, very angsty]

A Night At The Museum - Steven Grant x fem!Reader [teeth-rotting fluff]

Once Upon A December × Marc Spector / Steven Grant × fem!Reader [18+!, major hurt/comfort, angsty af]

Tears Of Love - Steven Grant × fem!Reader [just some comforting fluff]

The Wrath Of Set - Jake Lockley × fem!Reader [pitch black smut, 18+!, knife play]

Sheriff Lee Bodecker:

White Cotton - Daddy!Lee x Little!Reader [DDlg Smut 18+!, Daddy Kink, Oral, Pillow Riding]

Loki Laufeyson:

Fimbulvetr - Loki x Fem!Reader [substance abuse, self harm, 18+!]

Robert Pronge aka Mr. Freezy

Dirty Thoughts - Mr. Freezy x Reader [Filth, foul language, 18+!]

Sons of Anarchy:

Over And Over - Jax Teller x Reader [angsty, 18+!, pillow talk]

Others:

Odi Et Amo - Jacques LeGris x fem!Rader

What We Do In The Shadows Headcanon

WWDITS!Show-Characters x Reader [Just a conversation getting out of hand]

Dune

Blood, Sugar and Spice - Duke Leto Atreides x fem!Reader [A big pile of smut 18+!, period sex, oral, feral Duke Leto]

Stranger Things

Master Of Puppets - bestfriend!Eddie Munson x fem!Reader (Friends To Lovers, Romantic Porn With Plot 18+!)

The Bear

Heard, Chef! - Carmen Berzatto × fem!Reader (jealous smut, 18+!, a bit angsty)

Succession

The Cage - Roman Roy x fem!Reader (Puppy Play, Straight Filth, Mommy Kink, 18+!)

Insomnia - Roman Roy x fem!Reader (Soft Smut, Nipple Play, 18+!)

Detroit: Become Human

Wonderland - Camboy!Eljiah Kamski x afab!Reader (Porn Addiction, Masturbation 18+!)

Petrichor - Gavin Reed x afab!Reader (Porn With Feelings, Morning Sex, Oral 18+!)

Golden Cage - Elijah Kamski x afab!Reader (PWP 18+!, Emotional Abuse, Mind Games)

Sunlight - Elijah Kamski x afab!Reader (PWP, 18+!, Soft, Oral, Edging)

Ctrl + Shift + L - Elijah Kamski x afab!Reader (Smut 18+!, Online Stalking, Obsessive Behaviour)

Watch Me, Touch Me - Elijah Kamski x afab!Reader (Smut 18+!, Voyeurism, Overstimulation)

Hollyoaks:

Call Me When You're Sober - Simon Walker x afab!Reader (Smut, Angst Gallore, 18+!)

fragile, but not like a flower. - Simon Walker x afab!Reader (Dead Dove 18+!, Heavy BDSM play)

Resident Evil: Village:

Hangover Cure - Karl Heisenberg x afab!Reader (Intoxication Kink, Daddy Kink, 18+!)

I Am Machine - Karl Heisenberg x afab!Reader (Piercing Play, Angst, Smut, 18+!)

Olive - Karl Heisenberg x afab!Reader (Smut 18+!, Blowjob, Dom/Sub, Aftercare)

Black Sails:

The Candlemaker - Edward "Ned" Low x afab!Reader (Dead Dove 18+!)

Everything Sam Reid:

Sam Reid Characters Masterlist

Dev Patel Movies:

The Price You Pay - The Kid x afab!Reader (Rough Smut, Angsty Feelings 18+!)

Children Of The Void - Saroo Brierly x afab!Reader (Emotional Constipation, Adoption, Loss)

What Else Ought There Be? - Sir Gawain x prostitute!afab!Reader (PWP, Oral Fixation, Angst 18+!)

Rory Culkin Characters:

Masterlist

[bex-la-get]

A Second Chance (Ethan x f!MC)

Book: Open Heart, Book 2

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Natalie Cusack

Word count: 2175

Summary: While the hospital reels from the assassination attempt, Ethan gets his miracle. Sequel to What If...

Author’s Note: So @adiehardfan​​ asked if there would be a part 2 to What If and at the time, I wasn’t sure but this came to me the other day and I thought this would be the perfect sequel piece after I ripped your hearts out (sorry about that, by the way). Enjoy! 😘

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Nor do I remember the specifics from Chapters 10/11 in OPH Book 2. Any and all mistakes are my own. Thank you.

Please, he pleaded silently. Let her live. We have so much lost time to catch up on. Please. Let. Her. Live.

Ethan watched Natalie breath, her chest moving slowly as it rose up and down. He could tell she was struggling, growing weaker by the moment; but he could also see that she was fighting it. Fighting to get oxygen to her lungs, fighting to make it until morning, fighting to stay alive. He brushed some loose hair behind her ear and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of her breathing and silently praying that the combined efforts of Edenbrook and Mass Ken would be enough to save her.

He didn’t sleep that night. Too concerned of what might happen if he closed his eyes, Ethan stayed awake through the whole night, watching Natalie’s breathing and monitoring her vitals. He briefly stepped out of the room to splash some water on his face and wipe away the stray tears that were still sliding down his cheeks but that was the farthest he would be away from her. He refused to leave the room otherwise.

At around 3am, Harper and Naveen arrived with a couple and a young man; Ethan could only assume these were Natalie’s parents and brother.

“Ethan,” Naveen said on the other side of the door, “Dr. Cusack’s family is here.

Ethan nodded, stepped out of the room, and quickly changed out of the hazmat suit to speak with them; he stayed close to the entrance, however, and kept an ear out for the systems monitoring Nat’s vitals. He didn’t want to miss anything crucial while out of the room.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cusack, I’m Doctor Ramsey. It’s good to meet you, though I wish it were under different circumstances.”

The Cusacks shook his extended hand and he turned to Natalie’s brother, greeting him as her mother, Julie, spoke. “Likewise, Doctor. Is there any update?” Her green eyes were filled with concern and worry and Ethan’s heart tightened.

“Not at the moment, I’m afraid. But we have a team working around the clock on a cure; some of the best doctors in the country are working to help your daughter,” Ethan answered.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Vic, as he had introduced himself, asked.

Naveen shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid not; but thank you for offering.”

Vic’s shoulders deflated somewhat and his father wrapped an arm around him. “Thank you for watching over her, Doctor Ramsey,” Elias said, his voice quiet. 

Ethan nodded. “She would do the same for me; for any of us.”

Elias smiled sadly. “That’s just like my Nattie.”

Julie sniffled and gazed at her daughter through the window, her eyes wet with unshed tears; Harper laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t we wait in my office? You’ll be comfortable there and it’s close by so we’ll know when there’s updates.” Julie nodded in agreement and the Cusack family quietly said their goodbyes, following Harper down the hall.

Naveen rested a reassuring hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “How are you doing, my boy?”

Ethan shook his head and swallowed back a sob. “Not good.”

His mentor gazed at him sadly. “I wish I could reassure that she would be okay, but I cannot in good conscience say such things. But I do want to believe them.”

Ethan nodded and sniffled. “Me too.” He looked back through the window where Natalie was fast asleep, her chest rising and falling with every breath. “I can’t lose her, Naveen,” he said, quietly. “I-- she’s everything to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do if she doesn’t make it.”

Naveen squeezed his shoulder. “We have to believe she will make it, Ethan. Thinking otherwise will only drive us crazy.”

“I know; I just feel so useless. I can’t help with the cure and I can’t do anything for her in the meantime.” Ethan could feel the tears welling up again but he fought against them. Crying wouldn’t help anything right now.

“Being there for her in her hour of need is doing more than you can possibly imagine, Ethan. Trust me.” Naveen paused for a moment before speaking again. “Does she know how you feel?”

Ethan nodded solemnly. “I told her before she fell asleep. I just wish I hadn’t waited so long. I should’ve told her a long time ago, from the moment I knew.”

“We all have things we wish we could have done differently or sooner. The important thing now is that she knows.” Naveen squeezed his shoulder again then stepped away. “Go. Be with her. We’ll let you know when there’s news.”

“Thank you, Naveen,” Ethan said, making his way back into the quarantine area. 

“Ethan,” Naveen said. Ethan turned to his mentor, finding a sad smile on his lips. “Assuming she makes it and they can make a cure, I hope you won’t let her go.”

Ethan shook his head. “I’m never letting her go again,” he said, resolutely.

Naveen nodded and watched as Ethan once again dressed in the hazmat suit before returning to his place at Natalie’s side.

------------------------

It was nearing six am when several members from both the Edenbrook and Mass Ken teams appeared at the window of the hospital room. Ethan’s heart pounded at their appearance, trying not to let his fears get the better of him. Please be good news, please be good news.

“Well?” Ethan asked, his throat going dry.

Tobias looked to Elijah who grinned and held up a small vial in his hand before handing it to Baz. “We did it. We were able to synthesize a cure!”

Ethan barely held back a sob as he watched Baz and June suit up and join him in the room. “What about the EMT? Rafael?”

“He made it through the night,” Tobias confirmed. “He’s being administered his own dose as we speak.”

Ethan nodded, fighting tears. “Thank you,” he said, quietly. “All of you, thank you.”

“She would’ve done the same for any of us,” Elijah said, looking at his sleeping friend sadly. “I just hope we did it in time.”

Baz and June administered the dosage to Nat and Ethan swallowed hard. “Only time will tell.”

--------------------------

“Nat? Natalie. Can you hear me?”

Natalie’s brows furrowed as the familiar voice pulled her out of her deep sleep. 

“Natalie,” the voice said again. “Please Nat, wake up.”

She groaned and slowly blinked her eyes open, squinting through the bright lights of the room. She looked for the source of the voice to find him sitting next to her, a look of worry on his face. “Ethan?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

Ethan released a sound that was a mix of a sob and a laugh. “Oh thank god,” he said. 

Her eyes adjusted to the room around her and she realized he wasn’t wearing a hazmat suit. Her eyes widened. “Ethan, you’re-- you look… normal. What--”

“Elijah and the joint teams synthesized a cure,” Ethan said, helping her move to a seated position in the bed. “You’re okay; the toxin is gone, completely.”

Nat took a shaky breath. “And Raf?”

“Also alive and okay, though he was in rough shape by the time his dosage was administered. It’ll take longer for him to recover but he will recover. You both will.”

Natalie felt tears welling up in her eyes. “Does that-- does that mean I can kiss you now?”

He gave her a watery smile and nodded. Without waiting another moment, Natalie pulled Ethan towards her and kissed him soundly. He cupped her face with his hands and returned her kiss with equal fervor, ignoring the tears slipping down both of their cheeks. “I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

She broke away to cough out a sob and buried her face into his shoulder. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head, letting his own tears fall freely. “I love you too,” she said through sobs. “I was so worried I wasn’t ever going to be able to tell you again.”

“So was I,” he sniffled. “I love you, Nat. I love you so much. I’m never going to let another day go by without telling you that.”

She looked up at him and wiped some tears away from his cheeks. “Us until the end of time, right?”

He smiled and nodded. “Until the end of time.” He sniffled again and placed another soft kiss on her lips. “Your parents and brother are here; they’ll want to see you. Are you up for visitors?”

She thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I am.”

“Okay, let me go get them.” He placed one more kiss on her lips, this one lingering for a long moment before he broke away, kissed her forehead, then left the room. Nat adjusted herself in bed so she was sitting up fully then waited for her family to arrive.

Less than five minutes later, her mother practically burst into the room, making a beeline for her daughter. “Oh Nattie,” Julie said, when they locked eyes.

Unable to hold back the tears, Natalie began crying, falling into her mother’s tight embrace. Her brother and father quickly joined the hug, holding onto each other tightly, crying tears of relief and happiness that Natalie was okay. She was safe. She was alive.

Ethan stood outside of the hospital room, taking steadying breaths and trying to control the tears that kept slipping out. He was exhausted and was holding it together just enough so he wouldn’t collapse from relief. He sniffled and ran his hands through his hair, sending a silent thank you to the gods that listened to his previous pleadings.

“Ethan?” a voice said.

He turned to the source to find Tobias looking at him, an inscrutable look on his face. “Tobias, hi.”

“Are you okay?”

Ethan glanced into the hospital room where Nat was giving her family a watery smile and looked back at Tobias. “I am now. I--” he hesitated for a moment, then stepped closer to his old friend. “I can’t thank you enough for what you did. I-- you gave her-- me-- us a second chance. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put into words how much that means to me. How grateful I am.”

Tobias smiled. “It was my honor to help, Ethan. Natalie’s a good doctor, and an even better person. This world is better with her in it. You’re better with her in it.”

Ethan’s lips quirked into a small smile. “Yeah, I know.”

Tobias rested his hand on Ethan’s shoulder and squeezed. “I know our past has been rocky and this year has had its own struggles and difficulties; but I’ll always be around to help if you need it, Ethan. No rivalry or competition will ever outweigh our duty as doctors… or my loyalty to an old friend.”

Ethan nodded thoughtfully, feeling a twinge of fondness for his old friend and [former?] adversary. “Thank you. And the same stands for me.”

Tobias smiled again and he stepped away. “I have to get back to my own hospital and patients. But I’m glad to see she’s doing better.” He nodded respectfully to Ethan. “See you around, Ramsey.”

“See you around, Carrick.”

As Tobias disappeared around the corner, Ethan looked back through the window to find Natalie gazing at him, a fond smile on her lips. He returned her smile. “I love you,” he mouthed.

Her smile grew and she mouthed “I love you too” back to him. 

His heart thumped in his chest as he locked eyes with her for a long moment before her attention was called back to her parents. He stood outside the room for another moment debating on whether or not he should stay when a new voice caught his attention. “Are you doing okay?”

He looked to the source and smiled at Harper. He nodded. “Yeah; better than okay.”

She smiled. “Good, I’m glad to hear it.” She looked him over and raised an eyebrow. “Did you sleep at all last night?” Ethan shook his head and Harper nodded knowingly, her lips pursed. “I can tell.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

“Just calling it like I see it,” she said, smirking. She stepped towards Nat’s room and gestured forward with her chin. “Go clean up; and maybe take a nap while you’re at it. Or at least get some coffee in you; I know you too well to think you’re going to sleep right now. I’ll keep an eye on Nat for you in the meantime.”

He looked down at his rumpled clothing and chuckled. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Thank you, Harper.”

She smiled. “I’m happy to help. And I’m happy to see you happy. It’s a good look for you.”

He chuckled. “I’m just glad I have a reason to be happy.”

“We all are.” She glanced at Nat and smiled. “She’s one of a kind, that one. You hold onto her.”

Ethan gazed back at Natalie and smiled. “I plan to.” Forever.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added/removed):  @genevievemd @jamespotterthefirst @paulfwesley @ethansdique @openheartfanfics @perriewinklenerdie @little-flowers-on-heaven @stateofgracious @coffeeheartaddict @liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @mm2305 @gryffindordaughterofathena @actuallybored @writer-ish @queencarb @takeharryandgo @lsvdw-blog @itsjustwinter​ @imaneditorthankyouverymuch-deac @chaoticchopshopheart​ @ohchoices​ @maurine07​ @oldminniemcg​ @parisa-kh​ @shanzay44​ @uberamsey @izzyourresidentlawyer​ @adiehardfan​ @custaroonie​ @mia143​ @a-crepusculo​ @takemyopenheart​ @toadfrog26 @quixoticdreamer16 @barbean​ @headoverheelsforramsey

[coffeeheartaddict2]

Edenbrook under Caroline Bloom.

During the first half of 2021, Caroline Bloom took over the hospital from her ex husband Leland.

Caroline was a fan of the medical research being done and made moves to work closely with the FDA to streamline processes to get studies to FDA stages quicker.

Before Naveen retired he confided to Caroline his hopes for the free clinic and how the diagnostics team would be apart of this. Naveen declined to run it but agreed to have the clinic named after him. Ethan was recommended to run this clinic and the hybrid chief/practitioner role was born to make it more enticing to Ethan.

Casey was offered the role of Team leader at the recommendation of Tobias but she wanted to earn her stripes first. Tobias then suggests that they run the team together which Caroline approves.

After the various court cases wrapped up, Caroline worked to drop the Bloom from the hospital name. It was back to being Edenbrook.

Casey and Tobias recruited Baz back to the team and after an extensive interview process, Dr Aurora Emery won out.

The clinic went from strength to strength and so did the team. Mid way through 2023 Tobias starts talks to expand the team. The team is to be split into research and practice.

The plans come to fruition in 2024 and Tobias leads the research arm and Casey the medical practice. Aurora is Casey’s second in command.

During this time Casey gets involved in advocacy for education and access for sexual health for women abs those of the lgbtiq + community , abortion as well as general women’s health especially in the poorer areas of Boston and Massachusetts as a whole.

Aurora is in charge of the team when Casey takes Maternity leave for much of 2025.

Some of the research breakthroughs that occur:

A drug that stops organ rejection when a person who is IgA deficient is receiving an organ- the brothers Mirani are the researchers behind this.

Elijah’s gene therapy study to regain movement in immobile people is a success

Tobias, at the encouraging of Casey and Raf investigates how the maitotoxin antidote can be used with other toxins, it can and Tobias and his research team win an award.

Ethan writes a follow up book to Diagnostic Principles and he co-authors a book with Casey about her advocacy work with women’s health.

In 2026, Caroline is ready to step down from CEO of Edenbrook. Her niece Evelyn Knight takes over as CEO. Caroline as a parting gift opens a clinic in one of the poorer areas of Boston that also has a high poc representation. Casey is offered the role of director of this clinic but turns it down as she feels a non poc would not be well received. She recommends that Aurora take the role which she agrees too. Casey spends some of her time practicing at the clinic. The clinic is named after Delores Hudson.

Meanwhile the DT has a presence in the paediatric ward with Sienna Trinh. This branching out of the team is a great success.

Casey has her first keynote in 2027 at the medical symposium in Miami.

Jackie takes a role in administering the intern and residency program. She thrives in this role and as time goes on applications for the residency applications grow.

Ethan steps down as chief in 2035. He cites family reasons for stepping down, Hudson is at school and Alexis is not far off starting. He stays as an attending for another 5 years before retiring.

After retirement he writes a memoir of his time as chief and his book paves way for other hospitals to make hybrid roles in the higher management. Tobias takes over as chief.

Casey stays leader of the DT and internal medicine for the rest of her career. She continues her advocacy and her second book that she co-writes with Aurora deals with overcoming misogyny and racism in the medical field. This book encourages poc to take up medicine and empowers female medical students in general.

Authors note: if you reached this far you did well. I thought it fair that we find out what occurs at Edenbrook after when egos collide.

Tagging: @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @genevievemd @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @bex-la-get @ofmischiefandmedicine @binny1985 @schnitzelbutterfingers

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart 2 - Chapter 6

Buying Time

Bryce told the group about Keiki individually: when he could get them alone, either at home or work, he gently explained the story and they all reacted with much more sympathy than Bryce had expected, Aurora especially, but she knew better than the others how it felt to be cast in the shadow of your family. Sienna offered to teach him to cook a few more recipes, which Bryce appreciated, but the biggest surprise came from Jackie.

“If you’re gonna make fun of me, do it now,” he had said, facing opposite her by the trash cans outside Donahue’s the night he told her.

“I wasn’t gonna make fun of you, actually,” Jackie said. “It sucks that your parents were so crappy, and that you faced flak for what they did.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. There are some things you don’t make jokes about. I’m sorry you went through all that.” She gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’s not the same, but…I don’t meet my parents expectations either. Not many people would be disappointed to see their daughter chasing her career goals but…mine are.”

“Let me guess, they’d rather you were married?”

“If they had their way, I’d be married with two kids by now. But we aren’t obligated to live their lives for them.” She patted Bryce’s arm. “So is your sister here to stay now?”

“I don’t know. I seriously doubt living with me will be better than living at home. I’m just…doing my best to make sure she makes it through the days in one piece.”

“Bryce…I think you need to have a bit more of a plan than that.”

Jackie had left Bryce with that food for thought and hadn’t brought it up again, and the group still hadn’t met Keiki (except Matthew). Bryce still seemed to be hoping that Keiki would decide to go back to Hawaii.

Meanwhile, Matthew was slowly warming up to Rafael again; Raf came to visit them some evenings and they all watched a movie or played games together. Nights that ended with the whole group laughing about something were better than the ones that ended with him alone in his room.

****

One August morning, a few weeks after the festival, Matthew was still lying in bed. It was his day off and he was determined to make the most of it by doing nothing at all. Sienna had knocked about ninety minutes ago and brought him some toast, which he had shamelessly eaten under the covers, otherwise he’d been left alone, snuggled under the duvet with Spooky nestled around his ankles.

And then someone briskly knocked on the door.

“Tell them to go away, Spooky…” Matthew groaned as the chinchilla stirred.

The person knocked again, and Matthew groaned. He threw back the covers and stalked to the door.

“This better be important—oh! Dr Hirata!”

June stood in the doorway, beaming at him. She looked as fresh as a daisy. Matthew jumped behind the door, trying to maintain his dignity whilst mostly nude.

“Settle down, Dr Valentine, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” she said brightly, walking into his room and looking around with interest. Spooky eyed her suspiciously.

“What are you doing here?”

“We have a new case. The board assigned the patient to us an hour ago and we’re outside in the car. How quickly can you get some clothes on?”

“I’ll be ready in two minutes!”

June stepped outside. Matthew hastily found a clean shirt and pair of trousers, tugging a nearly-new sweater over his head and tying a tie (he had finally found the balance between looking smart and being able to breathe). He quickly brushed his hair and grabbed his bag, passing Elijah on the way out (“Yes, I let her in, but I didn’t think you’d answer the door naked!”).

June was outside, waiting by Baz’s precious mini. She looked impressed.

“Not bad at all. No one would know you’ve just rolled out of bed.”

“An illusion I perfected at med school,” Matthew said, climbing into the back seat. “Morning everyone.”

The car pulled away from the sidewalk and into the city, but Matthew was surprised when they turned the opposite way from the hospital and a more wealthier part of town. It turned out the patient was rich enough to pull rank over a hospital and make them come to him. The atmosphere was frosty: this wouldn’t be happening if Matthew hadn’t reached out to Gwyneth Monroe.

“I thought you wanted to turn the team into an ATM,” Ethan said.

“I’ve apologised so many times, what else do you want me to do?” Matthew groaned. “All I wanted was to help that girl, and we helped her.”

“And we saved the team whilst we did that,” June said loudly, as Baz gave Matthew a sympathetic look. “Face it, Ethan, if Matthew hadn’t reached out, we would have been next on the chopping block. Your moral compass isn’t going to save lives if there’s no hospital to treat patients in. Get over it.”

Matthew looked out the window to hide his smile and Baz tried to pretend his laugh was a cough as they pulled up to a ridiculously grand house. It was three stories high with large bay windows looking over an immaculate lawn that held a marble fountain and immaculate flowerbeds. More marble was in the steps that led up to an imposing set of black double doors that each had a lion’s head door knocker.

“What did you say his name was?” he whispered to Baz.

“Leland Bloom. He’s an investor in tech, or something. The third richest man in America.”

June knocked, and the team was greeted by an extremely smart butler. He led them down a gaping hallway into a drawing room that would not have been out of place in a museum. Matthew guessed that the furniture cost more than his entire college education and he suddenly felt very shabby and insignificant. That is, until he heard another group of doctors enter the room; Aurora was amongst them.

“I like your new coat,” he blurted, and he did. It was shorter and more fitted than the Edenbrook lab coat, and had the orange logo of Mass Kenmore. Aurora looked pleased as she adjusted her collar.

“Well, well, well,” said a familiar voice. It belonged to Tobias Carrick, the man who had offered Aurora the new job. The third member of their team was a doctor Matthew hadn’t seen. He was eyeing them suspiciously.

“Ethan Ramsey in the flesh,” Carrick was saying. “How’s it going, buddy?”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Ethan’s jaw had tightened, his eyes narrowed. Aurora glanced at Matthew, who shrugged.

“Looks like the brass at both our hospitals had the same idea. Piggy bank sounds a little empty these days.”

“I see we’re all getting acquainted,” said a posh, slightly throaty voice, and the doctors turned to see an old man in his seventies dressed in smart black trousers and a white shirt under a thick blue sweater. A pair of glasses hung on a gold chain around his neck. He had a shocking amount of thick, grey hair and leaned heavily on a cane. His face was drawn, with shadows under his eyes, yet he still managed to look down his nose at them. He was the top dog here, and they wouldn’t forget it.

“I am Leland Bloom and this is my wife and business partner, Caroline,” he said, grandly, indicating a distinguished-looking woman beside him. She appeared of a similar age to Leland, tall and thin, her arms folded across her chest and her hair knotted in a tight bun. She regarded them all with a nod.

“Thank you for coming, doctors.”

“Hey, I like surprises as much as the next guy but I think you’ve double-booked,” Tobias said, as Leland Bloom settled into an armchair. Ethan rolled his eyes.

“You were always a little slow on the uptake, Tobias. I think Mr Bloom wants a little competition.”

“What I want, Dr Ramsey, is excellence,” Bloom said, a touch condescendingly. “And in my experience, competition is the father of excellence, yes.” He sat back and eyed the Edenbrook team critically. “You and your team are commonly lauded as the best diagnosticians in the country. I worry that makes you cocky. Complacent.”

“We’re not.”

“Easy to say. I once allowed a young entrepreneur to know that I was very interested in working with him upfront. His subsequent pitch was…sloppy. Lazy. So instead of investing in his product, I gave him something better: a rival. His pitch improved exponentially, though not enough. His rival earned my investment and I earned a healthy return.”

Matthew hated the way he made it sound like everything had to have economic value attached.

“Mr Bloom, this isn’t business, it’s medicine.”

“All life is business, Doctor. The same rules apply. For every winner there must be a loser. A zero-sum game.”

Matthew grimaced. The butler approached, bearing a silver tray that carried two glasses of what looked like dark tea and offered one to Baz.

“Thank you, I’m parched.”

“It’s not a drink, sir.”

As the butler handed the second cup to Aurora, Baz sniffed the contents and winced.

“Ah yes. Urine sample.”

Leland was looking weary. He leaned heavily on Caroline and requested the doctors allowed him to get into bed before beginning their competition.

“So, it’s a race to diagnose you,” Tobias grinned. “That’s a new one. Count us in.”

“And we’re out,” Ethan growled. He strode from the room as Matthew exchanged panicked glances with June and Baz. Tobias smirked as Caroline and the other doctors looked shocked. Bloom looked perplexed.

“I’m so sorry, Mr Bloom, Dr Ramsey didn’t mean that,” Matthew hastened to explain.

“Yes, all part of his process!” Baz added.

“Please excuse us whilst we confer,” June said, glaring in Ethan’s direction.

The three of them hurried out of the room and into the hallway where Ethan was just leaving.

“The hell is wrong with you?” June hissed as they caught up to him.

“If he thinks I’m going to jump through hoops for his money—”

“Ethan, please. We need this. You know we need this.”

“Everyone deserves treatment,” Matthew reminded him. “Even billionaires.” Bloom was giving him the creeps, but he’d sworn an oath to treat everyone to the best of his ability and he stood by that. Unfortunately, Ethan wasn’t convinced.

“And he’ll get it from Mass Kenmore, or any other doctor in the world that he chooses to fly in!”

“And where will that leave us?”

“With at least some of our dignity left intact.”

“Dignity won’t keep the diagnostics team operational, Ethan.”

“We need this. We can’t save anyone if we shut down.”

Their comments finally got to Ethan, who sighed.

“Alright. Let’s get back to work.”

The butler led them up a sweeping staircase to an opulent bedroom where Bloom was sitting up in an enormous bed, in a silk nightshirt. Caroline perched beside him, stroking his hand.

“Look who’s decided to stoop to our level after all,” Tobias gloated. The Mass Kenmore team were just finishing up.

Ethan ignored him and apologised to Mr Bloom, reiterating that the diagnostics team could prove they were the best for the job, but no one could deny that Edenbrook’s reputation had already been tarnished in Bloom’s eyes. He referred to Aurora as Dr Carrick’s “very thorough protegee” and Matthew smiled when she tucked her hair behind her ear, looking pleased.

“Good luck Matthew,” she said on her way out.

“You too.”

“Hey, come on, no fraternising!” Tobias warned, though he himself paused when he passed June.

“Hirata.”

“Carrick.”

Matthew shook his head as he focused on his task. Mr Bloom had noticed the discolouration in his urine about a month ago, though there hadn’t been any blood in it. Caroline had noticed he was getting sick more often and had been complaining about back pain for a long time, but he had only recently started using a cane. He had always put off going to the doctor, despite what Caroline had been telling him.

“Yes, my love, I’ve learned my lesson. I should always listen to you.”

“For a man so brilliant, it sometimes takes you a while to catch on.”

They shared a sweet kiss as Matthew examined swelling around Bloom’s feet and ankles. He suspected a lot of physical activity, but Leland hadn’t played in years. He used to partake in tennis and golf.

“I got older and stopped winning. I don’t play if I can’t win.”

“We’ll need to take some blood samples,” Ethan said. June beat him to the testing kit.

“Mr Bloom, I’d love to hear more about how you apply business principles outside of the office,” she said, preparing a syringe.

“Watch out, Doctor,” Caroline laughed. “That’s a sure fire way to keep him talking for hours.”

“Well it’s not every day you get access to this kind of advice!”

June charmed Leland easily as Matthew stepped back, though he couldn’t help wondering how she and Ethan knew Tobias.

Having had nothing planned for the rest of the day, he decided he might as well stay at the hospital and get a head start on Mr Bloom’s tests. Between team brainstorms, he checked in with Esme. She was coming along nicely and didn’t always need his help, but it was good to be on standby.

****

The August evening was warm and clear so he chose to walk home rather than packing into the sweaty T. As he approached the apartment, he could see the overflowing mailbox.

“Doesn’t anyone check the mail around here?” he said aloud as he emptied it and let himself in. Aurora was on the couch, drinking a cup of tea, and startled when he came in,.

“Oh, hi!”

“Hey.”

They hesitated, their reality weighing heavily in the air.

“Looks like we’re competing against each other again,” Aurora mumbled.

“Looks like it…” Matthew sighed.

But Aurora was more important than a competition, and he sat down beside her with a smile.

“Forget all that for now. Tell me about Mass Kenmore.”

Aurora blinked, and then grinned, curling up in her corner of the couch to nurse her cup of tea.

“It’s going great,” she said. “I love Aunt Harper, but she casts a long shadow at Edenbrook. At Kenmore it feels like I can finally see the light a little.”

“I’m really glad to hear that.”

“Actually, do you know who my intern got reassigned to?”

“I think Ines took over her. Ah, you’ve got mail.”

Matthew passed Aurora a large envelope, which she took with a frown. Two tickets with gilded edges fell into her lap.

“What’s that?” Matthew had received nothing but bills and take-out flyers.

“Tickets to my five-year undergrad reunion at Tufts.”

“Oh, fun! When is it?”

“…In an hour.”

“Serious?” Matthew’s eyes bugged. “Good thing one of us checked the mail. You might have missed it.”

“I’m not going,” Aurora said, taking a mouthful of tea. “Undergrad…kinda sucked. Every year was like our intern year at Edenbrook. Everyone hated me because they thought I had ridden my name into the pre-med program, or they tried to one-up me in every class to say that they beat an Emery. Or they pretended to be my friend to meet my family.”

Her eyes narrowed as she remembered and Matthew’s stomach twisted with guilt as he remembered assuming similar things about her last year.

“I’m sorry,” he said, gently. “That sucks.”

Aurora shrugged. “It wasn’t all bad. I liked some of my professors, and the campus was beautiful. Hey, maybe…” she hesitated, looking slightly shy. “Well, if you wanna come with me, we could go. I could do with the back up.”

They had come so far since last year, and Matthew didn’t need to be asked twice.

“OK, let’s do it!” He said. “We’ll get dressed quick. It’s only about twenty minutes in a cab.”

Aurora had a smile on her face as she disappeared into her room. Matthew changed into a black silk shirt and brushed his hair – he was a little overdue for a haircut – and waited for Aurora to finish getting ready.

She emerged a little while later. Her tank top and striped leggings had been replaced with a stunning red dress that showed off her figure and complimented her dark skin. She had subtly lined her eyes and put some gloss on her lips. It was amazing how fantastic someone could look with such little effort.

“You look amazing!”

“Thanks,” Aurora giggled, smoothing the dress over her hips. “Are you ready to go?”

“Let’s do it. We’ll be just about on time.”

Their cab pulled up outside a large, stately building with rows of colourful flowers outside. Strings of fairy lights had been roped up, leading towards the entrance, even a red carpet had been laid out.

“Now you know where your tuition fees went,” Matthew joked as they approached the welcome booth.

“Aurora…Emery,” Aurora said, stuttering slightly. They heard a scoff from behind them and turned to see a pretty woman with a lot of curly blonde hair. Aurora gave a very faint groan.

“Hello Victoria.”

The blonde sneered, becoming decidedly less pretty.

“I can’t believe you actually showed up. We all said you’d think you were too good for this.”

Her unimpressed gaze turned to Matthew to look him up and down.

“And you are…?”

“Dr Valentine, of the Edenbrook diagnostic team.” He didn’t usually show off about his position like that, but it was worth it to see Victoria looking taken aback. “And you can apologise to my friend for being so rude.”

Victoria blanched. Aurora had a tiny smirk.

“Well…I…I think the Aurora Emery can deal with two seconds of discomfort before she scampers back to her pampered life.”

“Give it a rest, Victoria, it’s been five years,” Aurora said sharply, sounding a lot like she did when she spoke to Matthew for the first time last year. “Whatever problems you had in college weren’t my fault, and I’m not going to let you stand here and use me as an emotional punching bag. Come on, Matthew, let’s do something fun.”

She led Matthew away. Victoria remained on the spot, too flabbergasted to move.

“Nice work!” Matthew grinned, high-fiving her.

“My heart’s pounding,” she giggled. “But that was so satisfying.”

They approached the bar where Matthew asked for two of anything that would get them in the mood for dancing. The bartender chuckled as he passed them a cocktail menu, and soon they were sipping on colourful, fruity concoctions complete with miniature umbrellas.

As a few more people approached the bar, they swapped stories of med school until a blonde man stepped backwards and jostled Aurora slightly.

“Sorry about that—oh! Aurora! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“No, no, it’s OK,” Aurora said quickly, grabbing a napkin to mop up any spillage. “It’s Tim, right?”

“Yeah.” Tim glanced at Aurora nervously, taking a slight step toward the woman who had come with him.

“She doesn’t bite.” Matthew wondered what this guy’s problem was.

“She used to!” Tim gulped.

“Did we see you talking to Victoria earlier?” Tim’s companion had approached, a plump woman with wavy black hair.

“If you want to call it that.”

“Ugh, she was such a jerk. She was always trying to turn people against you for no reason, but I never believed what she said.”

“Thanks, I think.” Aurora gave her a friendly smile. “You’re Amanda, right?”

“You remember me!”

“Of course. We shared a Bunsen burner.”

Aurora introduced the two of them to Matthew, and as she shook his hand, Amanda said she was glad Aurora wasn’t such a loner anymore.

“She couldn’t be more of a loner if she tried. Too many of us enjoy her company.”

Aurora could tell he was teasing a tiny bit and rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t disagree. In fact, she looked rather pleased that it had turned out that way.

She spent most of the evening catching up with her old classmates. She had had quite a few classes with Amanda, and had once hooked up with Tim at a party – biting his neck just a little too hard – but then people like Victoria had started spreading rumours, suggesting she was using her family’s success to get ahead. After that, things took a downward turn with people sucking up or being rude, and she started pushing people away. Even though she had liked Amanda and Tim, and a few others, she couldn’t risk it. It was sad to hear, but now she was talking and laughing as if they were her old friends. Not one hint of her previous angst shadowed her presence.

Tim was a training paediatrician in Manhattan, and Amanda was studying optometry just outside of Boston. Aurora and Matthew told them about Edenbrook, the competition for the spot on the diagnostic team, and what it was really like to work under the famous Ethan Ramsey. Of course Tim and Amanda had heard of him – it would be almost impossible for them not to – and weren’t too envious of their position. Amanda even admitted that it was Dr Ramsey who put her off applying for Edenbrook and Matthew’s stories of the times he had been chewed out were only confirming her instincts. Matthew found it hilarious. Harper wasn’t mentioned. Aurora preferred it that way.

Eventually the music slowed. Amanda drifted to the dance floor and Tim had gone to catch up with some of his old friends, but not before they had exchanged numbers and emails with Aurora. She tried not to look too happy as she saved them into her phone, but the fresh start clearly meant a lot to her.

“OK, I’ll admit…I’m glad we came here,” she said to Matthew. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“No problem. It’s nice to see you having fun.”

“It’s nice to be the one having fun!” Aurora nodded towards the dance floor. “Shall we?”

They wandered onto the dance floor where they gently spun around in a slow circle. Over the top of her head, Matthew could see Victoria and a group of others casting moody glances in their direction. He had felt proud of Aurora as she came out of her shell with Tim and Amanda, but once upon a time he was almost as bad as Victoria.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make more of an effort to get to know you last year,” he said.

“You actually made more effort than others. I just kept telling you off. We got there in the end.”

“I’m glad you stopped telling me off.”

“I’m glad you didn’t give up.”

She took him by surprise by wrapping her arms around his waist in a mid-dance hug.

“I mean it,” she said. “Moving in with you and the others. Having people see me for me. It’s everything, Matthew.” Her voice was thick, and she hid her face in his chest. Matthew squeezed her.

“You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“I want to.” She looked up at him earnestly. “And I don’t want our hospitals battling over patients to screw this up.”

“I don’t want that either,” Matthew said, firmly. “So let’s not let it happen.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, Aurora.” Matthew pulled her into another hug. “No matter what happens at work, you’re stuck with me.”

****

Back at Edenbrook the next day, Matthew was comparing Bloom’s latest blood work with a urinalysis. He had a few ideas, but needed to run it past Dr Ramsey before he could test further.

On his way to the diagnostic office, he spotted Jackie glaring at something down the hall: Declan Nash signing off a check for a grinning doctor.

“As discussed, your fee for your guest lecture this weekend.”

“He’s the worst,” Jackie muttered as Matthew walked over to her.

“He’s a literal parasite,” Matthew agreed. “Imagine trying to squeeze every dime out of sick and desperate people, and then basically bribing doctors into being sales reps.”

“It pisses me off, but Panacea has the patents for tons of vital drugs. I don’t think we’re escaping them.”

Jackie looked despondent as they walked away from Nash and towards Elijah saying goodbye to Sothy via secret handshake. They were both laughing as if they’d just heard the world’s best joke.

“Hey guys,” Elijah said as he rolled towards them, still sniggering.

“What’s so funny?”

“Sothy just tried to draw his patient’s blood, but his first try had the patient’s arm spurting like something from Evil Dead. Even the patient was laughing once I had it under control.”

“Wait, seriously?” Jackie looked mildly horrified, and it wasn’t at the idea of spurting blood.

“It’s been two months and he doesn’t know how to draw blood?” Matthew said.

“He knows how, he’s just not great at the execution,” Elijah explained, but he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Elijah, he’s a doctor in a hospital. He doesn’t have the luxury of not being great at basic procedures.”

“We could all pull off a perfect insertion on day one,” Jackie said sharply. “So could Gary and Esme. Hell, even Mitch.”

“I’m not gonna penalise him for needing a bit more time to get the hang of it!” Elijah defended.

“But how is he supposed to learn if you swoop in and do it for him every time?”

“You saying this is my fault?” Elijah turned on Matthew but Jackie stepped in between them.

“It doesn’t matter what we think, but that’s exactly how Zaid’s gonna see it when he hears there’s an intern who still can’t place an IV.”

Elijah squared his shoulders defiantly. Matthew pushed his hair back.

“Elijah, I’m glad you get on so well with Sothy,” he said, gently. “But it’s for Sothy’s sake that we’re concerned. You need to find the balance between being his friend and his mentor.”

“Have you guys found that balance with your interns?”

“My job is to teach Gary for a year and makes sure he’s competent enough to teach someone else, then we all move on in our careers. I’m not required to be his friend.”

“I get on with Esme but our priority is medicine.”

“Right. Well. I’ll teach him and he’ll catch up. Everything will be fine.” Elijah nodded at them, not casual enough to be convincing, then he rolled away.

“I sure hope he’s right,” Jackie muttered.

Matthew later found Ethan alone in the diagnostics office, going a pile of paperwork. He looked up when Matthew entered.

“Leland Bloom showed high levels of protein in his urine,” Matthew explained, handing him the test results. “It’s in addition to the presence of red blood cells and elevated potassium.”

“Which could indicate what?”

“His high blood pressure and pain could indicate endocarditis, but there was no evidence of bacteria or fungi in his blood tests. White cell count also ruled out Hodgkins Lymphoma and Lupus.”

“So what do you think?”

“The protein, plus the elevated potassium, suggests his kidney function is worsening. I’d like to do a kidney ultrasound to pinpoint the source of the bleeding.”

“Good,” Ethan nodded. He picked up the handset on the office desk and started dialling. Matthew sat at the table wondering if Mass Kenmore had had the same idea…or if they had already executed it.

Ethan spent a few minutes speaking with Caroline before he hit the ‘hold’ button and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“They’re heading to the Harbour Marina to go yachting with some business partners. Apparently, Leland refuses to miss a meeting even when his life is at stake.”

Matthew rolled his eyes as he stood up.

“Shall we take the portable ultrasound then?”

“W…what?”

“The portable ultrasounds. We just meet Leland there and run the scan after the meeting.”

Ethan considered.

“We’d stay ahead of Tobias.”

****

Matthew shouldn’t have been surprised that that would be the argument to convince Ethan to meet Leland Bloom on his private yacht that brimmed with rich men wearing cashmere sweaters knotted around their necks. Waiters passed out drinks and Ethan and Matthew sat on the deck with glasses of lemonade.

Matthew took a deep breath and closed his eyes, tipping his head back and letting the sun warm his face. Whatever odd game Leland wanted to play, they were floating down the river and Tobias couldn’t reach them. In the meantime, it wasn’t every day you got to spend a summer’s afternoon on a billionaires yacht, though he seemed to be the only one who thought so. Ethan sat stiffly beside him.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what’s the deal with you and Dr Carrick?” Matthew asked after a while. Ethan sighed.

“We were at Hopkins together for med school…”

“Let me guess, you were besties?”

Ethan raised an eyebrow.

“Would you like to rephrase that into something vaguely resembling English?”

Matthew sniggered.

“Besties as in best friends.”

“Ah. Good instinct. Yes, we met at orientation. The faculty were so adamant about us bonding with each other. Tobias and I found it so saccharine that we started mocking it and bonded after all. We were like brothers and moved in together the following year.”

“So what happened?”

“We wanted too many of the same things. The highest GPA, the best residency. For a long time it was fun and pushed us to work harder. But when only one of us could win, resentment began to build. Tobias…wasn’t afraid to play dirty. Suffice to say, by the end of med school we were no longer on speaking terms.”

His eyes had narrowed and Matthew was a little afraid to press for further details. After a few minutes, Ethan turned to him again.

“Apart from that…I’ve been mulling over the situation with the hospital. Naveen started the diagnostics team with the sole purpose of helping the people who couldn’t pay for it, those with nowhere else to go. And, to be frank, I’m afraid of running it to the ground.” He downed the rest of his drink. “I was furious at you for what you did. But part of me wanted to thank you.”

“For what?”

“Sparing me the need to do it myself.”

Matthew was trying to work out if that was an apology for his attitude since Gwyneth Monroe when Leland Bloom came out onto the deck and strode towards them, grandly.

“My kidneys are ready for you now, doctors.”

They brought Leland to a secluded cabin, where he lay face down onto a bed and Matthew set up the ultrasound and placed it just below his ribcage. It ruled out kidney stones and bladder cancer, but Ethan wanted Leland back at the hospital for a more accurate reading. His voice was serious. For once, Leland didn’t argue.

****

Back at Edenbrook, Leland was given a general anaesthetic before Baz performed a biopsy on his kidney and soon enough Leland had an answer.

“Mr Bloom, you have aggressive Bergers disease.”

“You have high levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A,” Ethan explained. “It’s been building up in your kidneys for decades and now it’s damaging their function.”

“Decades?” Caroline asked, from where she perched on the bed beside Leland. “But he only got sick recently!”

“Bergers disease can be largely asymptomatic until later in life. It isn’t necessarily terminal, but it can lead to complete renal failure if left untreated.”

“I see,” Leland said. “And how do we get this immune-whatsit out of my system?”

“You don’t,” Ethan sighed. “Your immune system produces immunoglobulin A to protect you from disease. Some have more, others have none at all. Steroids can work well in the early stages but results are less consistent in patients further along. We could delay the onset of renal failure, but in your case it would only be a few months.”

Caroline sniffled and hastily dabbed at her eyes with a monogrammed handkerchief. Leland reached for her hand, but rather than looking upset or afraid – or even reassuring for his wife – his face had taken on a calculating look.

“You haven’t mentioned a transplant. If the problem is my kidneys, wouldn’t a transplant be the first answer?”

“A double kidney transplant is theoretically the best option in your case,” Ethan said. “But without willing donors, it’s unlikely you’d be approved as a candidate.”

“And why not?”

“Suitable organs are hard to come by,” Matthew explained. “They’re reserved for candidates both in the most need and with the highest chance of recovery. Even if you were approved, you’d be very low on a long list; you’d die waiting.”

Leland nodded as he took it all. But a calm smile relaxed his features.

“There’s always a loophole. I’ve spent my life living in loopholes.” He indicated for Caroline to pass him a bag where he took out a phone and started to dial. “Go ahead and schedule the surgery, doctors,” he said, brightly. “I’ll take care of the kidneys.”

“Wait, Mr Bloom, Bergers disease recurs in all transplant cases. You’d just be buying time.”

Leland chuckled, as if it were an obvious joke.

“That’s exactly what I had in mind. Given the disease took decades to manifest, I’ll be dead of old age long before my new pair are destroyed.”

Matthew’s jaw dropped. Ethan was simmering with fury.

“People spend years on that list praying for a chance to live,” he said, in a dangerously soft voice. “Are you honestly telling me you’ll buy your way to the front?”

“That’s life, Dr Ramsey,” Leland said, smoothly. “When someone wins, someone else has to lose. Now, if there’s a problem here I’m happy to call Dr Carrick.”

Their hands were tied. Ethan gritted his teeth and told Matthew to schedule a surgery.

****

A few days later, Matthew watched through the window of Leland’s room as Bryce prepared him for surgery. Matthew had already told him what Leland had said and, when Bryce met his eyes at the window, Matthew could tell the situation didn’t sit right with him either. First, do no harm. But what if one patient could save themselves by causing other patients further harm in delaying a potential organ transfer indefinitely? The Hippocratic oath didn’t seem to have accounted for a situation like this.

“Matthew! Hey.”

Matthew would have recognised that voice anywhere.

“Rafael? What are you doing back here? Did you get reinstated?”

“Uh, not exactly. I just had a meeting with my field supervisor.”

“How did it go?”

“My probation’s still pending review…but she said there’s no timeline for when I’ll be back.”

Matthew hadn’t realised how much he’d been hoping for Rafael to win until the news disappointed him.

“Oh, Rafael…all because you helped that kid.”

Rafael’s lips twisted into a wry smile.

“To be fair, it wasn’t just that one time. But if it’s my career for their lives? Well, I can take that trade.”

“It shouldn’t be that way though,” Matthew argued. “It’s not fair that for them to live, others have to suffer.”

Rafael seemed to surprised by the outburst and followed Matthew’s gaze into the room where Leland was receiving a good luck kiss from Caroline. Matthew bit down hard on his lip.

“What’s on your mind?” Rafael’s voice was so sweet and gentle. He carefully stepped closer and put a strong arm around Matthew’s shoulders. “Are you OK?”

Rafael’s touch sent Matthew’s heart pounding and he fought to keep still. He could see all too easily what should happen: he would lean into Rafael’s hug and share his concerns, he would comfort Raf about his suspension, then they would take their minds off it by going out into the city, either to the street markets or going to visit Raf’s family, or maybe Raf would simply walk him home where they could just cuddle in front of the TV.

But that wouldn’t happen again. Rafael was seeing someone else. Their time had passed now.

Matthew watched Caroline shake Bryce’s hand with genuine gratitude and spoke with as much conviction as he could. “I’m happy I saved another life. He’ll be cured and they’ll be able to live out the rest of their lives together. That’s what I’m meant to do for them. Everything else is secondary.”

“That’s how I feel about my suspension. That’s gotta be our North Star, Matthew. Never lose sight of it.”

Matthew nodded, keeping his eyes on the window. Rafael squeezed him once more and then dropped his arm. With the warm weight of it gone, Matthew suddenly had to suppress a shiver.

“Anyway, I’d better get over to the senior centre. I promised Edith I’d join her for bridge. I think she has a crush on me though,” he joked.

“Who wouldn’t?” Matthew said, very softly. He gave Rafael a smile. “Goodnight Raf.”

Rafael waved as he walked down the corridor and disappeared through the doors. Matthew watched the spot for a few minutes before turning…and smacking straight into Jackie.

“Forget how to walk, Matthew?” she laughed as Matthew picked up the chart she’d dropped.

“Sorry,” he grinned, sheepishly, but as he handed back her chart and caught sight of what was written on it, his smile faded.

Her chart was full of Panacea medication.

Tags: @sazanes @rafasgirl23415 @ceruleansnake0

[crazy-loca-blog]

To everyone:

A few days ago, I was looking for some stuff on my Tumblr account when I found the first post I wrote about Open Heart, back on June 3rd, 2019 (what a coincidence!). The first paragraph said:

“When I first tried Choices, I said ‘I used to play this type of books when I was a kid, so let’s give it a chance... 5 minutes and then I’ll uninstall it’. And here I am, about 2 years and 45 books (and a lot of diamond purchases) later. But I never, ever felt so attached to a book as I am to Open Heart.”

Two years later, my opinion hasn’t changed at all. Never in a million years would I have thought about the impact that a pixelated story would have in my real life. Because that’s what Casey Valentine did for me: she literally showed me why I was being unhappy and what I truly wanted to do with my life (and I can’t help feeling very emotional every single time I remember it… yes, I’m already crying…)

Today is the day we say goodbye to this incredible group of characters. I’ll miss Bryce’s pep talks, Sienna’s unconditional friendship, Elijah’s nerdiness, Jackie’s tough love, Rafael’s humility, Aurora’s awesomeness, Tobias’ self-confidence, Harper’s mysterious side, Baz’ relaxed vibes, Zaid’s irony, Ines’ sweetness, Naveen’s wisdom, Esme’s “bad girl” vibes, Gary Garrison’s “unique” style, Danny’s kindness, Mrs. Martinez’ hopefulness, Kyra’s bravery, Keiki’s cleverness and Alan’s caring side. I’ll even miss those awful characters such as June, Landry, Louise, Mitch, Declan or Wayne. And of course, I’ll miss that grumpy doctor (not saying “old” because we’re probably born the same year, so...) who gave us lots of headaches (and heartaches for those who chose him as a LI), but also some of the most unforgettable moments, both as a mentor and as a LI, the often imitated, never duplicated Ethan Ramsey, who must also be one of the most complex characters I’ve read in this app and only because of that reason my heart belongs to him forever (don’t tell my boyfriend! let’s keep it a secret!). I’m incredibly grateful for every single one of them (and yeah, I can give some credit to the writers, too.)

I’m also grateful for the incredible people I’ve met here… it’s been a hell of a ride, girls! Thank you for every story, head cannon, fanfiction, rewrite, AU, series, drawing, confession, theory. Thanks to everyone for the dedication you put to keep this series alive and for putting a smile on my face when I’ve needed it the most. You may have no idea, but I lost my grandmother last year, and due to all the COVID-related lockdowns, I couldn’t attend her funeral or say goodbye to her… and your work was an incredible therapy to cope with everything. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, you’re all amazingly talented and I have no doubt that I’ll keep reading what you do (I'm not tagging anyone because I don't want to risk missing someone!).

As per me, I’m not ready to let the series go (so you can bet I won’t be pressing that “End book” button today or in the near future). You can count me in every time you want to do a replay and I’ve been thinking a lot about doing my own rewrite of the series because I want to fill gaps and to answer some of the questions that the series didn’t. But I’ve never, ever in my life written a fan fiction, so I don’t even know where to start so it might take a while to get there (my mind is debating the silliest things, such as how should I balance the narration and the dialogs or if I should write it in present or past). But overall, nope, I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon.

Finally… to everyone…

HAPPY LAST CHAPTER READING!

[anotherbeingsworld]

a step forward

pairing: bryce x f!mc (alessia lyxienne)

book: open heart: third year

rating: general

warning: a few curse words.

word count: 4163

summary: a rewrite of the final chapter of book 3 (3:16) as Alessia will be making a hard decision.

ps: tags and a/n will be at the end of the fic!

I love you…’

‘I love you too.’

Clinging to the profound happiness on the rooftop of Edenbrook, her eyes fall onto him. He’s smiling. Wider than any other smile she has ever seen, he was happy. He is happy, and she is too. It felt like an ending to a fairy tale where they lived happily ever after, but life is far from it. She lets out a sigh, before burying her head into his shoulder for the night – enjoying the bright lights below them. At this moment, she does not know what lies ahead – however, she knows that the feeling of being on top of the world is the best feeling one could felt.

-

“Have you told your friends about the offer?” The voice of Mr.s Lyxienne booms through the call – somewhat a tone of excitement in her voice of a proud mother.

She shakes her head, as an attempt to tidy up her room before the roommates' dinner to celebrate the board results in an intimate setting than before. The sigh escapes her lips, as she rereads the email.

…offer for a new position… head of the diagnostics team….Arizona. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,

Dr. Donald Reegan.

“Haven’t told them yet mom.” She replies, before minimizing the emails tab. Somehow, the email came a day after the party, after she receives her happily ever after. Its been days since then, as tomorrow is her final day as a resident – and her final chance to make a decision.

Her mom didn’t say a word, somehow knows how hard it was to make a decision.

“I know whatever you decide, they’ll be happy for you Alessia.” Her voice is calm, yet there is a hint of boldness in it.

“I know…”

“I’ll have to go now and whatever happens - we are very proud of you.”

“Thanks, mom, I’ll talk to you soon.” After saying our goodbyes, she immediately changed her outfit for their roomie dinner with the others.

-

She was wearing a suit, somehow, she feels much more comfortable in it along with her Vans slip-on. Her hair was tied into a ponytail, as she was met with the others along with Bryce, Kyra, and Rafael.

She took a seat beside Bryce, as he immediately greeted her with a peck on her cheek – she smiles, somehow it didn’t reach the eyes. He took a second, observing her for a moment before they began to order, with his hands around her giving a gentle squeeze. He knew there was something wrong, yet he didn’t wanna pressure her, and she knows it.

The night goes on, as they reminiscing. Talked about everything from the good, the bad, and everything in between. Alessia smiled throughout it all, forgetting about the offer for a moment, as she was drowned by memories. It has become one of the reasons why she hasn’t made a decision yet, Edenbrook gave her the chance to fulfill her dream, yet – it traumatizes her. The senator’s incident suddenly made an appearance in her mind, letting out a shiver – as Jackie calls out her name.

“Hey, you okay? You zoned out there.” Jackie asked as she took a sip of the drink, all of the eyes fall onto her.

Alessia just shook her head, as a smile plastered on her face.

“I’m just, reminiscing. I just can't believe it's been three years, and our residency is almost done.”

Sienna nods in agreement,

“Hey, we did it. And, I’m happy to go through these adventures with all of you!” She lays her head on Jackie’s shoulder, as they all nod.

“Easy for you to say, I still have an extra year! But, then – I’ll be a big-shot surgeon.” Bryce stated as he smiles smugly before the others let out a laugh.

“So, have all of you thought on what the future after everything?” Rafael asked as both Bryce's and his eyes fall onto all five of them.

There was silence at the table, the thought is still processing. The future is coming very soon for all of them. The silence was drowned by the other diners, hush whispers as Alessia’s words got stuck on her throat, somewhat a feeling of confusion, dread, fear was mushed together into one.

“I think I’ll be leaving Edenbrook – somehow, maybe a new chance to start again without being in my aunt’s shadow again,” Aurora spoke, as the other nods and starts to congratulate her.

“Where will you be going?”

“Mass Kenmore, I feel like I got potential – and maybe lead the diagnostics team there; who knows.”

“Good for you, I think I’ll be staying here for a bit. The research team is quite a safe space for me, and I got Zaid and Baz on my side. I think it's definitely where I belong.” A satisfied smile on Elijah’s face can be seen, as Jackie spoke.

“I think I’ll stay, being chief resident – somehow feels just right. Did I get to boss the interns while doing a good job at it? Hell yes.” Jackie smiles excitedly as the others let out a laugh and a nod in agreement. Jackie was indeed a good chief resident – Sienna clears her throat to gain the other's attention.

“I’ll be staying too. I talked to Dr. Banerji earlier – about…” She paused, as she met Alessia’s eyes who nod supportively from the side.

“Changing my residency. There are times, I feel unhappy especially lately – maybe it’s the pressure but, after rethinking more than a dozen times. I’ll be taking the fast track of residency in peds and, hopefully, retake the board exam once more.” She smiles, proudly – a decision has been made as they all cheer in happiness for Sienna.

-

The table went silent once more, as Kyra shoots the final question her way. Alessia looks stiffened, somehow her tongue was tied, she was hesitant, somehow dreading the decision she has to make.

“I…honestly have no idea yet.” Before stuffing some salmon into her mouth, avoiding the stares at her way. She felt him staring at her as well, his eyes on her with a similar shock expression on his face before he jumps in to save the situation.

“Whatever you’ll be doing, it’ll be a great babe.” He says before placing a kiss on her temple, as the others drop the topic sensing the awkwardness that follows.

She was grateful for the save, as they spend the night away reminiscing again and again.

-

4:39 a.m.

The clock never stops ticking as she stood up from the bed. Bryce is still sound asleep beside her, as she smiles over the sight of him. How much happiness one human being can bring to this world, to her world. How much he lights up her world – the darkness suddenly was lit up by his smile, his encouraging words, his kisses, his hugs, and everything about one Bryce Lahela.

She examines him from afar, as the city of Boston was visible from his apartment window in the living room. A few cars were bustling around town, to begin an early start of the day. The sigh escaped her lips, the decision seems to haunt her once more. 2300 miles away from Edenbrook, from her friends, from…Bryce. It feels like a difficult decision – because she couldn’t imagine being away from him. What life would be like waking without his smile? What life would look like without the laughter of her roommates who have made her time at Edenbrook much worth it? How different it is to not be greeted with Bryce’s kisses at the peak of dawn? All of the thoughts swirling in her mind bring back to a conversation from her first day of the final year of residency.

“I know, we will never change. But, look what Leland did – this is where we are heading Alessia, our life is changing, medicine is changing and we can’t do anything about it. Life is about change – and like Edenbrook it changed alongside us.”

She lets out a breath she is holding upon the revelation from Bryce. It is the truth, and it’s gonna fall upon them anyways somewhere in the future. She wanted to deny but, she knows it’s the whole truth – as her head falls on his shoulders once more.

Bryce pulled her into his embrace, as he slowly strokes her hair – letting out a sigh along the way.

“But, tonight – the future can’t touch us and, we will always going to be us, Bryce and Alessia.” His words were soft and gentle, somewhat an attempt to calm her heart down.

“Tonight, it’s only us and that’s the only thing that I want to know.” Her lips met with his, as they enjoyed the night together talking about everything and nothing – as the feared was buried at the back of their minds. Somehow, it still leaves a bitter taste for them as the truth will come to face them very very soon; but for now… they have tonight.

She shivers at the memory, somehow the change had caught up to her. Change is going to follow them for the rest of their lives – and, if they were lucky; it will still be the same. Yet, she knows it's already different. The change has begun before her thoughts were interrupted by familiar footsteps letting out a yawn.

“Hey, it’s still early – c’mon, let’s get back to sleep.” His voice was hoarse, yet she smiles at the request pushing the thoughts once again as she finally got some sleep. A few hours at the least, before she has to be up for her final day as a resident.

-

Her steps lead her to Dr. Banerji’s office who smiles at her presence, somewhat surprise but content with her sudden arrival to his office.

“Dr. Banerji – I need some advice.”

-

The day went by quickly, as the final patient of the day was checked – and the cases have been handled throughout the day alongside the diagnostics team. She stayed behind, somehow admiring the diagnostics office, a feeling of nostalgia washes through her before her moment was ruined by the arrival of Ethan and Tobias himself – who looked surprised to see her.

“Alessia, good to see you here once again.”

She smiles,

“I know, I’m just admiring this office for the final time – I’m gonna miss this place.” She lets out a sigh, as Tobias smiles.

“Hey, you and me both. But, never be afraid to start again somewhere – because life does works in weird yet rewarding ways.” He winks as Ethan lets out a chuckle.

“You have gotten wiser over the years huh.” Tobias just smiles at the remark before they congratulate her once again – leaving her with the empty room again.

She whispers something to herself, before shutting the lights off in the room.

-

She stared at the offer that lies in front of her, a deep breath follows as she dialed the number. A decision has been made, like a pinch of pain filled her lungs, somehow pulling her to drown, yet she keeps on running.

-

She needed to tell them, needed to tell him. Alessia left her room with the feeling of dread, and fear swirling in her stomach – as she was met with them all laughing together as they were watching one of Elijah’s long list of movies. She took a seat beside Jackie, joining them in the fit of laughter. She is ready to let the truth roll out - well, ready as one will ever be.

“So…I have to tell you guys something.”

There it is – the truth all laid out. A series of ‘why's and clueless looks on their faces. Alessia remains calm for the whole demeanor, somewhat manage to rehearse the speech in her head as the movie plays in the background of her mind.

The room was silent, taking a moment to process it. She was immediately engulfed in a hug from her side, Sienna has her arms around Alessia.

“That’s why you were quiet at dinner right.” A knowing tone in Jackie’s voice, as Alessia nods in response.

“I needed to decide. This was an experience, but – I need to spread my wings. And, Arizona isn’t too far ahead guys. I can visit, maybe Edenbrook and The John Mayo Clinic can work together – and we will be together as always.” She attempted with a cheery tone.

“It wouldn’t be the same – and, that room of yours; will miss its owner.” Jackie points at her room, but she couldn’t help to smile at her.

“Hey, that room will always be yours. Well, as long as Farley allows us to keep it.” They all laugh before Sienna calls a group hug session – a familiar gesture for them all.

“Don’t forget us in the big leagues Alessia,” Aurora stated, as she shook her head. “Never – all of you are too hard to be forgotten” She smiles as they continue to discuss her new position with everything in between – before, the room went quiet once again. Everyone has fallen asleep, as she was wide awake; meeting Elijah who wheels in from the kitchen, somewhat startled at Alessia being awake at this hour.

“Want a cup of tea?” He gestures at the cup he is holding.

“Yes please.” She smiles, as they indulge upon the tea – a comforting silence follows.

“You are leaving soon huh.”

“I guess I am, I just…I feel like it's time.” The words felt painful on the tip of her tongue.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for how I reacted before about the Dr. Ramsey thing – I shouldn’t have lashed out at you and, I’m sorry.” Elijah sounded genuine, as he smiles at her.

Alessia nods,

“I forgive you, but it still hurts you know.”

He lowers his head, somehow feeling ashamed about the reminder of it,

“Yeah, I feel bad afterward – and, my ego was quite huge at the time. And, I’m very very sorry.”

Alessia returns his smile, as they talked a bit.

“Does Bryce know?” He asked, somewhat with genuine concern.

She shakes her head, letting out a sigh.

“I wanted to tell him, but…we just got our happily ever after here. And, I just…I planned on leaving quietly but, I can’t do that to him.”

“Maybe you should go to him right now, I think he mentions a late shift earlier at the doctor’s lounge.” Elijah pointed out, as Alessia nods – finishing up her tea, and pulls Elijah into a hug.

“Thanks, Elijah.” She was about to leave before Elijah calls her out.

“Hey, Alessia, for what’s it worth - you’ll be okay out there.”

She nods in appreciation, as her foot was set out of the apartment.

-

“Alessia – hey, what’s up!” He greeted her, as she sat waiting for him at the hospital lobby.

“Hey.” She replies as she hugs him, clinging to him – as Bryce lets out a laugh at the sudden gesture which he didn’t push her away.

“Someone’s eager.” He teased her, earning a nudge from Alessia followed by laughter as they walked out of the hospital together.

Their steps fall into a rhythm, as they stopped by a 24-hour bistro; ordering themselves a box of loaded fries – a moment of déjà vu again; as she smiled at the memory. Bryce caught her smiling, as he took a bit of the fries.

“How’s your day been?”

“Nothing much I guess….oh - oh! I scored a major surgery today with Dr. Tanaka earlier – and the patient survives.”

She smiles at his enthusiasm even if it's at 4 in the morning; he managed to make even the saddest of souls smile, that was his power.

“So…what’s up? I mean, I’m not opposed to you visiting me at work or anything – but, this is the time where one should be asleep.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she took a deep breath.

“We need to talk.” Her friendly tone has become serious, as the four-word which every human dread of hearing somehow become a wake-up call for him, as he sat up straight – the carefree expression has been wiped away with a look of concern, nervousness, and dread in between. She places her hand in his from across the table, giving it a gentle squeeze – calming him down before the truth was set free.

-

He blinked once, twice. As Alessia finished telling him – he was speechless, literally. The silence follows a few moments, somehow he is still searching for the words to say. Yet, all of the words in his mind have vanished. Zip, blink, nada.

She met his eyes, she looked worried, the expression of guilt was written all over her face. He manages a small smile, somehow – he didn’t say a thing. A part of him; still grasping upon the truth.

‘I accepted an offer from the Mayo Clinic at Arizona.’

His throat somehow went dry, as he took a sip of the remaining milkshake. Pulling himself together – and wished he has a guide upon facing these types of situations.

‘Oh..’ Was all that came out of his mouth, somehow…dumbfounded on how to respond to this sudden revelation.

After a moment of silence that follows – the sound of the instrumentals drowns the thoughts along with his hesitations upon the situation. He smiles, he smiles – which didn’t reach the eyes as much as he tries his best to. There was a mix of pride – of course, there was, he was proud of her. He wants her to be the best doctor she could be because she indeed is, it was one of the mantras from their first year.

He remembers the doubt in her voice, as they cling to one another at the on-call room. He looks at her and sees much more than what she sees in herself. And, this…its an opportunity for her. Yet, the sorrow in his heart began to grow; he wants her by his side – to be with him at Edenbrook. He wants to be with her every day, but; life never really gave him what he wants. But, one thing he knows – he is damn proud of her, as the sorrow has vanished in a second; as he stood– opening his arms wide for her, as she immediately sinks into his arms. No words were exchanged, as he kissed on top of her head; he was proud of her; he is – always.

But…

He shakes the thought away, as he holds her there. It felt like home, and he wonders – if she goes away, what would home feel like anymore?

-

He has suddenly been busier, life pulled them apart – excuses were made. She knew he was deflecting, she stopped going to the hospital after her final day ended, as the moving process began.

All of her stuff has been packed, as some were already transported the day her parents came down to Boston. There was a bittersweet feeling upon the situation, as she struggles to get a hold of Bryce. They haven’t seen one another in weeks, as the last day – she left his apartment as he went into work. They didn’t talk, it was a silent night; no words were spoken, as they lay side-by-side. He dreaded the silence, but it felt like the future that will occur to them very soon, he sighs – better get used to it now.

And, that’s the time he last saw her. He has been busying himself with surgeries, requesting extra work to the point where he could be living in the hospital. It was hard for him to face her, the decision was only a few words – yet, the power that came with it. It’s unbearable.

He checked his phone once again, there was a new message from Alessia. He sighs before shoving the phone in his pocket – repeating his whole routine for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, he has to change and get home every once and a while, and he did after his shift was over. He paused upon his footsteps, as he found Alessia waiting inside. The sad, gloomy expression is obvious – as he remembers, he gave her a spare key if she ever wanted to stay over for the night.

‘Hi.’

-

She stood up from the couch, keys in hand at the sound of the door opening. He looked like he hasn’t slept, as he saw her. It was an unexpected visit for her, as she was supposed to clear her final pile of stuff before it is shipped the next day.

His mouth open, as if to say something – which resulted in an exhausted ‘hi’ towards her way. She nods appreciatively upon the greeting.

‘Bryce, please – why have you been avoiding me?” She blurted out suddenly, the silence is killing her inside.

He didn’t reply, as he took a seat on the couch as she stood in front of him.

“I don’t know - I was busy with the surgeries…” He didn’t continue as Alessia feels a part of her was betrayed.

“Then, it wouldn’t even bother for you to reply to my texts? Or even text me, saying ‘hey, I need to take off some steam’… It's not hard Bryce!” He meets her eyes, somehow a pang of regret over his actions.

“I don’t know okay, it feels like everything is happening so fucking fast, and the fact that you’re leaving soon – I need to breathe. I need to clear my head, I…I can’t face you after that day.” His eyes fall upon his hands, somehow avoiding her eyes.

“Then face me now, tell me everything. Stop running away from me Bryce – as much as I am ready to begin the new journey; I’m dreading till the moment that we have to say goodbye.” She took a seat beside him on the couch, as he finally sees her. He finally meets her eyes, his brown one meeting her green ones. The wave of sadness in his eyes, mirrored with hers. Somehow they both have to say something – and they can't avoid it anymore.

“I…I was scared.” He lets out a light laugh, as she curled her fingers with his squeezing it.

“I never knew this would happen, I met somebody and that person made me feel terrified for once in a while. You made me scared of being without you – it felt like a norm, waking up with you beside me and our nighttime adventures. I…as cheesy as it is…” He laughs, as Alessia laughs along with him – the familiar air started to fill in the room.

“I was scared of not being able to wake up next to you again. My whole life; I have always been my own person – and then I met you. I was scared the shit out of myself on how much a person can mean a lot to me, how one person can change your life in a split second – and change it once more in a snap of a finger; and…I thought about it….” He paused meeting her eyes fully, somehow he was prepared. Weeks without her, made him think – made him wonder, made him realize, and everything in between.

He continues, “I want you to go, I don’t want to stop you cause you deserve the position Alessia. You are one of the best people I know, hence – the best damn doctor I ever know.” His hands land on her cheek, as she felt a tear shed, he smiles sadly over the sentiment wiping the tears away.

Alessia was about to reply before he silences her with a kiss. His forehead meeting hers, somehow – the words that follow, it made her heart happy.

“You deserve to be your person and be where you want to. I’ll always have your back, always have, and always will. I love you Alessia.” She smiles over the affection before she wraps her arms around him – relieved washed in her heart.

“I love you too Bryce…so so much.” She whispers to him, overwhelmed as she smiles again and again until the day she has to leave. She knew Bryce will be there for her always, and she will be there for him. Their story - it was a story for the ages of all ages - and it doesn’t have to stop as the universe was doing their thing; because in the end – if the universe allows them to be together, they will be together, because distance can be damned.

It won’t stop the story of Alessia Lyxienne and Bryce Lahela, because they both are too stubborn to let it go. There will be a pause – but never a stop button, and she is grateful for that, before she leaves Boston, into her new place. It wasn’t home, because home is a heartbeat with two eyes that lives 2300 miles away from her.

‘We got this.’ She whispers, gazing into her new place – as a new chapter begins for one Alessia Lyxienne.

THE END.

a/n: okay, so I'm finally writing something which is to be fair quite late for an open heart tribute - but, hey; despite how shitty it has become, this book will have a special place in my heart. I mean, it started my writing, and well, the rest are history. Bryce Lahela is one of the characters I loved to write and writing his journey with Alessia, is one of the most unexpected things I have ever done, and, well. Their journey is over now in the game, however - deep down I know they are living their lives in a different universe. I also wanna dedicate this to all who have been supporting me from the start even, and a special mention to my gurl nikka, who actually made me not stop writing again, and well, this fic happened! I love everything about this and the whole experience, and I think I won't stop just yet...but, the future is always uncertain. But, I know I have a good time for the last year of doing this. Thank you <3

tags:

@bitchloveskcbaseball , @mvalentine , @storyofmychoices , @princess-geek , @lahellacute ,   @annekebbphotography , @dcbbw , @choicessa , @fantasyoverreality98 , @baltersome , @ofpixelsandscribbles , @thundergom @starrystarrytrouble  @kelseaaa, @choicesficwriterscreations, @lalizah, @drethanramslay, @eleanorbloom, @openheartfanfics , @brycesgirl,  @freckles-spangledvampire, @agentnolastname, @adriansbiss , @appiomofchoice, @ariondevereux, @natureblooms24 , @robintora (comment if you want to be tagged or removed 💜💜)

[jerzwriter]

Chapter 9: What Tomorrow Holds

Book: Open Heart 3 (After Chapter 15)

Pairing: Ethan x F!MC Tobias x F!MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter: Bryce’s BNO does not go as planned; Ethan comes face to face with Floria; Tobias and Casey each make an important decision; Casey & Ethan’s parents meet, and Casey & Sienna make a shocking discovery.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Drinking; language

A/N: OK, to my readers who said “don’t worry about" or even "I like long chapters”, you’re going to live to regret those words. 😊 I apologize! But there is a lot that happens in this chapter and it's really getting us to the next part of the story. Break it down over the week, Ch. 10 may take a little longer anyway. :)

A/N 2: Because this isn't long enough, if you haven't already, the "bonus" chapter of Casey & Ethan reuniting after he returns from his business trip can be found here. This takes place between Ch. 8 & Ch. 9 of this series. It's pure romance and pure smut, it doesn't move the story forward, but damn, it sure does enhance it! :) Good to be home

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. 😊

(Good to be home is a standalone chapter that takes place between chapter 8 and chapter 9, it can be read here.)

It was a typical summer Friday at Donahue’s, busy, but fewer patrons than normal. The sedate environment drew even more attention to Bryce’s semi-sober toast. As part of his ongoing efforts to get Tobias out more frequently, he created tonight's event, the inaugural Semi-Monthly BNO. Bryce loved each one of their friends, but he knew Tobias needed some friend time without Casey present, so the SMBNO was born (though no one would ever remember that acronym).

“So, I am here to make the argument that contemporary society has true reverence for the GNO, as it well should. I will admit, I have crashed a GNO or two… well, or two dozen… so I can confirm that they serve as a wonderful celebration of sisterhood, of girl power, things I fully support these ideals. BUT as a people, as a nation, we have neglected to BNO, and I have decided to do something about that. So, in honor of our first celebration of all thing’s testosterone, I offer a toast… to us… the Earls of Edenbrook!”

“Earls of Edenbrook?” Tobias asked with disgust.

“Cut me a break, bro, I was trying to think of something that begins with an E.”

“You know what begins with E? Elijah and Elijah is wondering why you decided to start this tradition a month before I’m off to New Haven.”

“Ah-ha! You see, that was part of the wisdom behind SMBNO! It is a pact, therefore we must see each other every two months under threat of… what is the threat?”

“Expulsion, but I don’t know if that would serve as much of a deterrent,” Zaid offered.

“Zaid, we are honored that you decided to join us at this inaugural event,” Bryce said saluting.

“Don’t give him too much credit, he owed me a favor, it was this or sit through an upcoming seminar in place of me. Honestly, I am still surprised he picked this,” Baz said with a chuckle.

“So, what are the rules surrounding SBNO, I mean, we’re not exactly the belching and scratching our balls in public crowd, and the women we hang out with are cool, so what sets this apart?” Tobias asked.

Bryce had not thought that far ahead and responding with I’m just trying to get you out without Casey being here didn’t seem appropriate, “I KNOW! We conclude with Karaoke or Bowling,” he said, selecting the two most random things he could think of.

“I vote Karaoke!” Baz yelled.

“I vote to allow the ladies to join us again,” Tobias laughed.

“Well, for tonight, it includes male bonding and darts right here, I’ll dig deeper next time. But, since you insist on doing something to set this evening apart, I suggest that, just for tonight, we entertain the idea of scratching our balls in public.”

Everyone laughed except Zaid who downed his drink, plunked it on the table, and said “I’m out! Baz, send me the info on the seminar.”

“And then there were four!” Elijah yelled.

“How about this, let’s go outside and enjoy the summer weather, we can play some poker?”

“Brilliant, this man is a genius!” Bryce said pointing at Tobias excitedly, “Except I don’t know how to play poker.”

“Do I have to teach you everything, Lahela? Let’s go.”

The guys enjoyed their S-somethingBNO, sans ball scratching, for several hours before it was interrupted by...

“You’re playing poker and I’m not here to kick your ass? In what universe is this acceptable?” Jackie chided.

“Jack, Jackie!” Bryce said astonished, “This is a BNO, SEMBNO, I think… I specifically made sure you and the other lovely ladies were not going to be here this evening so we could...”

“Sit around and do the same shit you do every time we are here, but without us? Sexist much Bryce?”

“I don’t know if your serious Jackie, and I’m a little drunk and a little too afraid to tell you to leave, so pull up a chair and deal.”

“Nah, I’m waiting on Sienna, Case & Aurora, so I’ll sit this one out.”

“Well, I guess we may as well move over to a bigger table and conclude S&MBNO for tonight. I mean, no one was even scratching their balls?” Tobias said.

“It is not S&MBNO, Tobias!” Bryce said with disgust.

Jackie shook her head, “Neanderthals.”

“Hey!” Casey yelled as she walked in with her friends, “Since you guys have had a head start on us, I took the liberty of ordering the girls tequila shots, I’m happy to treat you all as well after we’ve caught up!”

“That sounds good to me!” Tobias said as he tapped the space on the bench next to him, beckoning Casey to join him. Almost immediately after doing so, he realized that wasn’t the best idea, he grimaced in Bryce’s direction, but it was too late. Casey was already happily seated next to her buddy T.

“So, what are you doing here anyway, Case? I figured you and Ethan would be celebrating his return, or are you already tired out.” Elijah laughed.

“Elijah, I never tire out!” She answered throwing a discarded lime at him. “But he had to head into the office, and that is how you have been graced with my presence this evening!”

“And mine!” Sienna chimed.

“So, what’s up everyone? You guys have any luck finding a new place yet?” Baz asked.

“I have!” Elijah yelled, “an old med school buddy of mine is also going to Yale/New Haven, so we got a really sweet place together, just a short trip to the hospital.”

“We haven’t been as lucky yet,” Aurora said, “going from cutting expenses 5 ways to 3 ways is a challenge in Boston, even with better salaries. I mean, we still have med school debt.”

“OK Aurora, stop making me feel guilty.”

“Case, there is no reason to feel guilty! No one is going to fault you for moving in with your boyfriend!” Sienna interrupted.

“I am,” Jackie said as Casey laughed.

“But we are seeing a place that looks promising in South End tomorrow. It’s a little smaller than we hoped for, but it would work for us.”

“Well, I hope so, because Jackie is still threatening to move in with me,” Tobias laughed.

As the night went on the friends split into different groups: Baz and Elijah played pool, Jackie, Aurora, and Bryce had a dart tournament, Sienna bounced around between the two. But Casey & Tobias remained at the firepit, completely engrossed in their conversation. Bryce tried to pry each of them away on several occasions before it became apparent his attempts would be for naught. But when the DJ started playing, everyone met up on the dance floor, including a group of nurses who just came off shift. Carmen was one of the nurses in their group. She was new to the hospital and Bryce had coined her the Sofia Vergara of Edenbrook. He had been trying to get her attention for over a month, but she seemed to be immune to his charms. Seeing an opportunity to end that streak, Bryce waved the group over. But when Carmen began dancing, the only person she was interested in was Tobias who was (of course) oblivious to her flirtation. When the DJ stopped playing, Carmen asked if he would like to join her for a drink. Tobias politely declined stating he was spending the night with friends. As soon as she walked away his friends attacked.

“Are you out of your mind, Bro?” Baz exclaimed, “Everyone in the hospital is in love with her! She hasn’t paid any mind to anyone, not even Bryce…”

“Yet! OK! Yet!” Bryce yelled.

“…yeah, whatever, but Tobias go! Have a drink with her, trust me, we wont mind… we will be impressed. You will be named the King of SEMBON that is… I don’t know what that is.”

“Seriously T, what the hell are you thinking. She is a goddess!” Jackie added.

“T, please. Just go. It’s a drink.” Bryce prodded.

Everyone continued to cajole him, except for Casey. She didn’t encourage or discourage, she just stayed quietly on the sidelines.

Beginning to get frustrated, Tobias was ready to put an end to his friend's well-intentioned ribbing.

“Guys, I’m not interested, OK? Leave it be. Bryce, why don’t you go and see if the 200th time is the charm for you? I want to get back to my conversation with Casey.”

“Whatever, T.” Bryce said shaking his head as he walked to the bar.

“I’ll join you, Bryce,” Sienna yelled.

Once the two were seated, Sienna leaned in close and whispered.

"Bryce, I followed you in here for a reason.”

“You mean it wasn’t just my dashing good looks and exuberant personality?”

“Yeah, no, I’m over that. I wanted to ask you … you seem to … ah heck, what’s going on between Tobias and Casey? I am sensing something and I can tell you do too.”

“What do you mean?” Bryce said putting down his drink.

“At his party on the 4th, they seemed so… connected. I mean, he didn’t take his eyes off of her the entire time we were on the balcony Then, remember how they both reacted when Jackie said she was moving in with Ethan? And tonight, they haven’t left each other side and, I mean, he’s turning down Sofia Vergara for Christ’s sake.”

Bryce looked straight ahead without saying a word.

“And your reaction is telling me I am on to something. What do you know Bryce? You know you can trust me. I mean, I don’t think Casey is involved with him, she’s in love with Ethan and that’s just not her.”

“No, Casey isn’t involved at all. But… and this dies here…”

“Absolutely.”

“Casey doesn't know, but Tobias… he has it bad for her. Like bad, bad.”

“Oh, no.”

“Yeah, he didn't intend for this to happen, but it did and he can't get past it. I mean he turned down single Sofia Vergara to spend the night sitting with all but betrothed to Ethan Casey. That is how bad he has it.”

“You don’t think he’d try to…”

“No. He’s emphatic that he won’t act on it. He loves Casey...”

“Loves?!?”

“Yeah,” he said sadly, “he loves her. It’s not a little crush, Si.”

“Oh, my God, poor Tobias!”

“You have no idea. I doubt he’ll act on it, but you never know… one night if there is too much drinking, someone is vulnerable, who knows what could happen? It’s a freaking ticking time bomb.”

“Not to mention if Ethan found out we will be searching for Tobias’s body parts across the state of Massachusetts.”

“We’d likely have to extend that search into Rhode Island and Connecticut. But here is the thing, he cares about Ethan, too. He doesn’t want to do anything to hurt either of them, but the heart wants what it wants.”

“But spending time with her like this isn’t going to help which is why we are going to go and sit with them. At least it helps for tonight.”

“You go out Si. I just want to clear my head a bit, I’ll be out in a few.”

Sienna hugged him, “You got it, and don’t worry, my lips are sealed. Operation lets end this shit is in effect.”

“And with us at the helm, how can it fail?” Bryce said before ordering another drink. As he was getting ready to return outside, he saw Casey walking toward the bar.”

“Case!” he yelled waving her over, “C’mere!”

She bounced up on the barstool next to him, “What’s up, B?”

Bryce was quiet for a moment, clearly trying to weigh what he was going to say. “Case, I don’t want this to come out the wrong way…”

“Bryce, what’s up?”

“Why were you the only one not encouraging Tobias to go chat with Sofi, uhm, Carmen?”

Casey gave Bryce a disbelieving look, “Bryce, I sincerely hope you’re not implying anything improper between me and Tobias.”

“No! Case, I know you’re with Ethan and like, nauseatingly in love, I just…” he let out a deep sigh, “I’ve been trying to get the guy to just go on a date, with anyone, but he’s in such…. a place … and I mean, he values your opinion, then you're the only one being silent...”

Casey looked at Bryce somberly. “Bryce, he told me.”

Bryce choked on his drink, “He what?”

“He told me. I know he is hurting over someone who doesn’t return his feelings. We’ve discussed it.”

“Uhh, well, how much did he tell you?”

“That is really the crux of it. He would not tell me who she is, and I respect that. I also respect that he’s not ready to be out there again. Right now the best thing I can do is honor his wishes and be there for him. So, I’m not going to push him into something he isn’t ready to do even if everyone else is.”

“OK but, do you think you could let me be there for him a little more. You know, if he needs someone, let him come to me.”

“Are you jealous that Tobias relies on me, too?”

“No, but maybe he needs a different perspective...” Bryce was trying so hard to get the point across without saying too much, and considering his inebriated state, that was walking a tightrope. “Case, I just know a little bit more about the situation than you do, can you just trust me?"

“I trust you, you know I do. But he is my friend too and I’m never going to turn him away if he needs me.”

“You’ve always got to be such a good fucking friend, don’t you MacTavish.”

“Well, isn’t that why you love me.”

He grinned broadly, “It’s one of the reasons I began loving you.”

“Your such an ass, Bryce.” She said hitting his shoulder, “Now, buy me a beer to make up for it…”

“Reggie, please get this lady your finest tap!” Bryce laughed.

“Don’t worry Bryce, he will come around in time. I mean, who knows, in the end maybe it will even work out for him and his mystery lady. Stranger things have happened.”

“Hmm. Yeah. Let’s just get him to start dating again.”

__________________________________________________________

“Hey, welcome back!” Harper yelled as Ethan and Casey entered the team's office.

Tobias, who had been seated at Ethan’s seat, stood up “I’ve been waiting here buddy, ceremonial returning of the chair is now in full effect.”

Ethan smiled, “Thanks guys, but what, no streamers, no balloons?”

Casey stamped her foot, “Damn it! I should have gotten bagels!”

“No, Casey,” Harper laughed, “the rest of us have discussed it and we can only handle that once a year at best.”

“Speak for yourself!” Tobias laughed.

“So, let’s catch up,” Ethan said as he joined his colleagues at the table, “without sounding like Thomas Jefferson, what did I miss?”

“Thomas Jefferson?” Tobias asked confused.

“From Hamilton. Daveed Diggs. You know ‘What did I miss, what did I miss, Virginia my home sweet home I wanna give you a kiss,” Casey sang.

Oh, they clearly got laid last night. Tobias said to himself with a sincere chuckle. “You have him listening to Hamilton now?”

“Well, I was not throwing away my shot to teach him about a modern classic,” Casey laughed.

Harper rolled her eyes and chuckled, “OK, this has been delightful, but let’s get to work? This is the one last time we are having Hamilton puns today.”

“Oh, I agree,” Casey said, “Especially since In the Heights is trendier now, anyway.”

Everyone erupted into laughter.

Tobias’s eyes were bright and he had an adorable smirk on his face. He looked over at Casey, she was so happy and radiant. Then he looked at Ethan who, in the sixteen years he knew him, just never looked the way he did now. Hamilton puns during Ethan Ramsey’s morning meetings, and Ethan is laughing along with it? It was surreal. At that very moment, Tobias resolved that he would do whatever he could to get over Casey. Things were too good for her, for Ethan, and even for the team. If that ever changed, he did not want it to be a result of anything he did. Casey looked over and shot him a smile, which he returned. I have got to do it, he thought, but it sure as fuck isn’t going to be easy.

_____________________ Bryce ran into Tobias in the hallway, “Hey man, I’m running down to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast, join me?”

“Yeah, I could stand a little something. I was sure you’d be hurting, you seemed to have a few more than normal last night.”

“Well, that’s the power of youth, old man.”

Once their breakfast and a table were secured, the two sat for a quick bite. Tobias was quieter than usual, but he was a big hungover despite Bryce's protestations, so he didn't notice. Finally, Tobias let out a sigh and said, “You’re right.”

Bryce was about to put a forkful of scrambled egg whites in his mouth, but Tobias's words caused him to drop his fork to his plate with a loud clang.

“I’m sorry, could you say that again. I don’t even care why you said it, I just like hearing it… louder this time.”

“Is that what you sound like during sex, Lahela?”

“LOUDER! I am what???”

Tobias grumbled, “You are right. I need to move on. Maybe I should start… dating again, I’m sure in time it will…”

Bryce looked astonished. “Bro, I would come over there and kiss you right now, but all kinds of rumors would start, and then neither one of us would be dating much, so the kissing is implied, OK?”

Tobias laughed, “You’re one of a kind.”

“Look, I happen to have it on good advisement that Carmen is working the afternoon shift on 4 East, not that I have checked her schedule or anything… and for you, brother, I’m willing to step aside.”

“You know, if I’m going to date, I think I would like to keep it away from work for the time being.”

“Good idea. I do know this amazing woman from my hot yoga class, I will get you details, and we'll take it from there…. I am very happy to hear this news, T. Let's get you some practice dates, then when you’re back in fighting form, go get Carmen because, if you don’t, I will have to lose any respect that I ever had for you!”

“On that note, I’m going back to work. Baby steps, Lahela, baby steps.” ____________________

The workday had been quiet and uneventful, a rare treat at any hospital, but that was about to come to a screeching halt. As Casey turned a corner, she came face to face with,

“Hello Casey! It’s lovely seeing you.”

“Floria," Casey replied doing her best to hide her surprise, "You are looking well. What are you doing here? I thought you were discharged last week.”

“Ten days ago, to be exact. Tobias truly is a miracle worker,” she said through an ingenuine smile.

“Dr. Carrick is a wonderful physician. So, what brings you to Edenbrook?”

“I’m here on some personal business, nothing I’m at liberty to discuss yet.”

“Oh, well… OK… I’m glad to see you’re doing better, take care.”

Ethan was at his desk immersed in work, even though Tobias did not miss a beat in his absence, there was still an avalanche of e-mails and paperwork to be tended to. He was so engrossed he did not even look up when he heard footsteps entering the office door.

“Well as I live and breathe. Dr. Ethan Ramsey, how long has it been?”

Ethan looked up over his glasses. Whatever feelings were percolating inside of him, they were not visible on his exterior. With complete indifference he uttered, “Not nearly long enough,” before he turned back to his work.

“Well, I can’t say that I blame you for your reaction. But honestly, I was pleased to see your name on the door as I passed by. It gives me a chance… well, to do something I have wanted to for a very long time now. Ethan, I owe you a sincere apology.”

He sighed deeply and rolled his chair back from his desk, “Floria, you don’t owe me a damn thing. Now, why are you in my office and what can I do to facilitate you leaving as quickly as possible?”

“God, the greetings in this place are just… unpleasant at best. But, at least in your case, it is well deserved.”

She took a seat.

“Floria, I would really prefer if you didn’t sit here, I…”

“Ethan, I just want a few minutes of your time. I get why you don’t want to see me, but this is important. I really wouldn’t bother you but… I am going to be working at Edenbrook, starting tomorrow. Since we are going to be working together, I wanted to smooth things over with you, as much as I can.”

For the first time since she walked in the door, Ethan’s emotions betrayed him as a mask of shock, anger, and disgust engulfed his face.

“You what?”

Leaning back Floria continued, “I will be Dr. Reynold’s new assistant. I’m just finished completing the paperwork.”

“Dr. Reynold’s…assistant… when did this come to be?”

“He and I go back a while; we became friends while Peter was teaching at Northwestern. I was looking for a new position and when I was being treated here, I ran into Jon, and well, the rest is history.”

Ethan was fighting to hide his exasperation. Floria would be working at Edenbrook. Not just at Edenbrook, but with Dr. Jon Reynolds. A doctor whose office was just down the hall. A doctor with whom Ethan and the department interacted frequently.

“Peter is making you work now? I didn’t see that plot twist.”

“Actually, Peter and I are divorcing, which is why I needed a job. Me being admitted here turned into a blessing because I ran into Jon and, poof, I start tomorrow!"

Admitted here? When the fuck was she admitted here? “I hadn’t realized you were admitted here. Then again, I have been away.”

“Really?” she said dumbstruck, “I'm shocked Tobias didn't mention it.”

“Tobias?”

“Yes, he was my doctor, can you believe it? Got me out in record time, I’m sure you can imagine why.”

“As I said, today is my first day back and, since you were not a diagnostic patient, there was no need for me to be informed.”

“I guess. It’s just… he was so unnerved by my presence, I figured he would have phoned you right away.”

“Tobias isn’t unnerved easily, Floria. I wouldn't give yourself so much credit.”

“Well, I wasn't admitted even 24-hours before he pulled his girlfriend off my case and took it over himself. So, if he wasn't unnerved, I think we can at least say he was unsettled."

“His girlfriend?”

“Yes, Dr. MacTavish, I believe? Casey? Sweet young thing, I really liked her. Honestly, I'm shocked she sees anything in Tobias. She could do better.”

Ethan's eyes turned into steel daggers as he fixed them on Floria. He steadied himself before speaking, doing everything in his power to restrain his growing anger.

“What, in your twisted mind, leads you to believe that Casey is Tobias’s girlfriend?”

“You know hospital gossip! Honestly, she must inspire a lot of jealousy because she is a hot topic. I overheard the nurses discussing her boyfriend on the diagnostic team, then some residents mentioned she was moving in with him. Well, given how protective Tobias was of her, how his eyes lit up every time he said her name, I just assumed. Besides, you’re the only other man on the team, and I sure as hell knew she wasn’t moving in with you, I mean, cohabitating and serious relationships, that's not exactly your… or… oh, my God, is she your girlfriend? Oh, I’m sorry, here I came to make peace and…”

“Floria, I’m quite confident that you know she is not Tobias’s girlfriend. You haven’t even officially started yet and…” he stopped to take a deep breath, “Let me be abundantly clear, you do not want to start something that I will need to finish. I am not a naïve 26-year-old anymore. This isn’t med school. You’re not screwing someone with power to get the upper hand. I have the power now, Floria, and I have no problem using its full force if I am pushed to do so. Do not play with me, I’m warning you. Do not play with Tobias. And, let me make this painfully clear to you, do not even entertain the idea of entertaining the idea of doing anything to Casey. If you so much as cause her to have a difficult afternoon, I assure you that you will live to regret it. Am I making myself clear?”

“Jesus, Ethan. And here I was thinking Tobias was protective! It was a simple misjudgment on my part. I apologize. I did not realize she was yours. For what it’s worth, I’m happy to hear it, I did think she was lovely and I’m glad to see that she did better than Tobias after all.”

Unamused, Ethan shook his head, “Stop playing games Floria, stop them now, before you even start.”

“Ethan, I don’t blame you for thinking the worst of me, what I did to you, it was horrible, but the same way you’re not 26-year-old Ethan, I’m not 24-year-old Floria. I have lived with a lot of guilt over what I did and I am certainly not here to create any drama. I’m sure us being friends isn’t a possibility, but I want to at least be civil with one another, that’s my only reason for coming to see you today.”

“Floria, apparently I’m going to be forced to work with you. I intend to be polite and professional, and I expect you to do the same. But do not for one moment delude yourself into believing that I trust you. Stay out of my life and the lives of those I care about, do your job and go home, and we will have no problem.”

“In time you’ll see I’m being sincere. I’m sorry, this truly didn’t go as I had hoped.”

“Mmmm hmmm. If you could see yourself out, I do have work to catch up on.”

“Sure. I’ll get out of your hair.”

“That would be greatly appreciated.”

____________________

As soon as Floria exited the office Ethan took off his glasses and threw them on his desk. Rubbing his eyes, he sighed deeply. This cannot fucking be possible. He stood up to close the door and when he was just a few feet away Tobias came barreling in.

“Hey, Boss!”

“Tobias,” he said sternly, “come in and lock the door behind you.”

Oh shit. Tobias took a seat in front of Ethan’s desk as Ethan paced the office.

“When exactly were you planning on telling me that Floria had been admitted as a patient at Edenbrook? That was a patient of yours?”

Tobias let out a deep sigh. “You aren’t going to believe this, but honestly, that is why I was heading in here right now.”

“Was it? Because from what I understand she was admitted just after I left which means you had a full month to tell me, yet you found this very moment the best time to do so. So, this is simply out of expediency? Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Tobias??

“Ethan, give me a moment to explain…”

“Please do. I’m curious to see how you spin this.”

“It’s not a spin, I’m giving you the truth. Floria was admitted the day you left; she was one of Reynold’s patients assigned to Casey. She only saw her once before I found out and reassigned the case to myself. I wanted her treated and out of here. I wanted her to be invisible to you and Casey. I didn’t want you to hear her name if it could have been avoided. Ethan, I know the damage she did and… I was trying to protect you, that’s all.”

Ethan looked conflicted.

“Tobias, I believe your heart was in the right place and I appreciate your desire to protect me and, more importantly, Casey. But I don’t need protecting, I need to be informed. That woman is a viper, and the fact that she came in touch with the woman I love, that in and of itself should have initiated a call, Tobias, don’t tell me you don’t understand that!”

“Ethan, you just left, you were going to be gone a month and there was nothing you could do. I knew there was a good chance you would lose your mind and that would impact your work at Mayo. I didn’t want her to know you were on staff, I didn’t want her to know who Casey was… it was mitigation Ethan. Perhaps I could have made better choices, but I honestly did what I thought was best at the time.”

“Tobias, within the past year, you have earned my trust again and I don’t want that to diminish. I am not happy about this, even though I do understand where your heart was. Please, do not let this happen again. We have to have total honestly here, nothing less. Do we have an understanding?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“She was just here.”

“Wait, she was here? Why?”

Ethan shook his head. “Because beginning tomorrow she is going to be Dr. Reynold’s new assistant.”

“What? Are you fucking kidding me? You have GOT to be fucking kidding me?” Tobias jumped to his feet, it was now his turn to begin pacing.

“I wish I were. And she is already playing her bullshit games.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, she told me how you took your girlfriend off of her case.”

Tobias cocked his head at Ethan, “My what?”

Ethan sat back in his chair. “Your girlfriend, Casey.”

“What the…”

“Let’s just be grateful she is using an old playbook, so we can get ahead of her. I sent a message to Naveen. I just want him aware of the situation in case anything should come of it.”

“Not a bad idea.”

“You want to talk about mitigation?” Ethan sighed deeply, “I’m going to talk to Casey, she needs to know what we’re dealing with here. I already told Floria if she fucks with Casey…”

“If she does, she will have both of us to deal with. I’m not letting her hurt anyone I care about. Period. Ethan, I’m worried about you too, I had a front-row seat to the damage she did to you, and I know…”

“Tobias,” Ethan interrupted, “I am not the same man anymore. I have hindsight and I am better equipped to deal with this.”

“I know that. But she has a way of worming herself into people’s minds without them even knowing and, I just… Ethan, I have known you sixteen years, I have never seen you so happy or in such a good place and, I just don’t want to see that change.”

Ethan stood up and put his hand on Tobias’s shoulder. “That means a lot to me. I’m glad we are back on the same team. I’d love to give her the benefit of the doubt, but that little act she just put on tells me nothing has changed with her. I know we will need to talk more on this, I need to clear my head for a moment would you mind if I just took…”

“Yeah, yeah, no worries, I’ll get out of your hair. I will also fill Harper in, she needs to know as well.”

“Good idea and, Tobias, I mean it, I’m glad you’re back in the friend column.”

Tobias smiled, “Same here, brother.”

As soon as Tobias left the office he reached out to Casey.

Casey headed to Ethan’s apartment. He had texted her that he would be late catching up at work, so she wanted to get a jump on dinner. She was anxious about the situation with Floria, she picked up her phone to call Tobias at least five times while she was preparing spaghetti sauce, but she could never bring herself to hit call. She and Tobias had talked enough and, going forward, any conversations about this needed to be between her and Ethan. Fortunately, as soon as she was taking the sauce off of the stove, she heard his key in the door.

“Hey, Hun,” she said running over to hug him.

Ethan fell into her and the warmth of her embrace helped melt his tension away. “God, I love coming home to you.”

“Well good!" She said, "you have a lifetime of it ahead of you.”

“I am one hell of a lucky guy.”

“Do you want to eat right away or unwind for a bit first?”

He walked over to the wine rack and pulled out a bottle. “Get two glasses and meet me on the couch?”

She snuggled next to him as he poured.

“There is a situation I want to discuss with you. I know you were treating Floria Dawson, well, for a day. Are you aware of who she is?”

Casey lowered her eyes a moment before returning his gaze. “Yes, Ethan. When Tobias took me off of the case I was, well, me and demanded a reason why. I wasn’t relenting so he eventually told me who she was and why he didn’t want me on the case. I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’ll be honest, I didn’t disagree with Tobias, get her treated and get her out and forget about her existence again. But I should have told you, Ethan, I hope you’ll forgive me.”

Ethan put his arm around her, “I would have preferred if either of you would have told me, but I understand why you both felt the way you did. If I’m being truthful, you may have been right. I was 1,000 miles away, at the start of a complicated research project and my head would not have been in the game. Still, l would have rather known, but I can’t be angry at you when it’s something I probably would have done myself if the situation was reversed.”

He gulped his wine and kissed Casey on top of her head, “Unfortunately, Floria is going to be working in Edenbrook as of tomorrow, as Dr. Reynold’s assistant.”

“I know, Tobias mentioned it to me after he saw you.”

Ethan appeared to be a bit taken aback for a moment, but it passed quickly. “Well, it appears he has given you quite a bit of information.”

Casey squirmed, “Ethan, I…”

“Case, honestly, I’m glad he did. This way we can get this over with quickly and enjoy our night, heaven knows the last thing I want taking space up in our home is Floria. The woman I knew was treacherous and I have no reason to believe she has changed. She stopped by my office under the guise of making peace, and she proceeded to tell me about Tobias’s girlfriend being taken off of her case.”

Casey pulled out of his embrace and looked at him incredulously. “What now?”

“Yes, that’s the game she is playing. She claims to have overheard hospital gossip about your boyfriend and put 2 and 2 together and came up with 5. Of course, I am pretty confident that she purposely added wrong. She likely assumed she could make me jealous, put a wedge between us, or either of us and Tobias… I don’t think it was an innocent miscalculation.”

“Jesus! How did this woman end up here, working on the same damn floor as us no less?”

“Well, apparently she and Reynolds go back… he hired her direct. For now, we just have to keep our eyes open and cope. I need you to promise me you will do your best to avoid her, because, Case, if she hurts you in any way, I swear…”

“Ethan, I’m a big girl, and she isn’t going to hurt me.”

He smiled wanly, “I said the same thing to Tobias about myself earlier. But I know all too well, she can do damage that you don’t even see until it’s already done. So, please, let’s just be vigilant around her, OK?”

Casey put her wine glass on the table, “Or course baby,” she said pulling Ethan into a hug.

“So, we’re having spaghetti?”

“Yeah, well, you know… my culinary skills and all,” she said with a grin.

“I’m sure it will be amazing. Oooh! I meant to tell you, I got us tickets to see the Boston Symphony Orchestra later this month. You haven’t been to any performances at Tanglewood yet, have you?”

“No, but it is on my bucket list!”

“Well, I’m glad we can cross that off. Trust me, you’ll love it. I got four tickets, who do you think we should bring along?”

“I’d love to bring Sienna. She is the one most upset about all the changes going on.”

“OK, that’s one. Who should number two be? I was thinking maybe asking Tobias would be a nice gesture, what do you think?”

Under normal circumstances, Casey would have immediately said yes, she considered Tobias to be one of her best friends and she was so happy that he and Ethan were rebuilding their friendship. But after hearing about Floria ‘suggesting’ that she and Tobias were a couple, Casey was unsettled. Like Ethan, Casey did not believe Floria was being honest about her assessment. Then again, Casey could not deny that countless patients, waiters, sales associates, and acquaintances who saw the two of them together instantly assumed they were a couple as well. Plus, there was an element of guilt, she didn’t tell Ethan about Floria, she shared that secret with Tobias. When she thought she might be pregnant, she didn’t call Ethan, it was Tobias who sat by her side as she waited. She knew there was no impropriety, or was there? She and Bryce were equally as close, yet there were no such issues with him. In fact, even Bryce was disappointed the other night when Casey failed to encourage Tobias to try to date again. As all of this swirled in Casey’s head she said:

“You know, as much as it would be nice, I don’t think the symphony is Tobias’s thing. Plus, it would be difficult for the three of us to get the same night off.”

The second the words left her mouth, she felt a pang of sadness that she could not quite explain. She cherished her friendship with Tobias, and she was not about to let that change. She knew in her heart there had never been anything improper that took place between them, but suddenly, everything felt questionable and it didn’t feel good. Was this indicative of something deeper that she could not see? Or was this Floria successfully weaving her way into her mind? Casey was too busy coping with the insidious thoughts swirling in her mind to analyze it.

“Casey, Casey…”

She heard Ethan’s voice, “Oh, yes. Sorry, Honey, I just zoned out a bit. Uhm, we have time to think of who we can bring. I mean, maybe even your Mom or Dad, or your Mom and Dad, I don’t have to ask Sienna.”

Ethan noticed Casey’s distraction and pulled her in for a quick hug, “It doesn’t matter, we have time to worry about that. I’m just looking forward to going with you, I think you’ll love it.”

“I’m sure I will.”

____________________________________________________________

Two Weeks Later (Mid-August)

“Casey, my Dad just called, they’re running late, so it looks like we will be entertaining your parents alone for a little bit.”

“OK, we can handle that. I'll put out some appetizers to hold them over, it’ll work,” she said with a smile.

“Now, I know I’ve beat around the bush with this, but since they will be here any moment now, let me be blunt. Your Dad is fairly old-fashioned and now, in what has been essentially 5-months, I’m moving his precious baby girl into my lecherous bachelor pad and there is no ring on her finger. I know he liked me, but that was before… should I be prepared for a duel or anything?”

“Of course you should. Why the hell do you think I’ve had you boning up on Hamilton?” she laughed. “Seriously though, my Dad is the type that wouldn’t have me moving in with you until 3 weeks after we were married, just to make sure the marriage took if he had his way. But, fortunately, my Mom and I are enlightened and we tend to have him wrapped around our little fingers. So he is honestly very happy for us.”

“Hmm… wonderful. That whole wrapping men around your finger thing is multi-generational. So I truly have no chance, do I?”

Casey spit out some of the wine she was sipping, “Oh, yeah, Ethan. Because in our three years together you have always done exactly what I have wanted.”

“Well, maybe not initially, but you’ve sort of got me now.”

“Good, then the spell is finally working! Oh, Mom text! They’re here! Oh, God, we’re introducing our parents!”

“Yeah, if mine ever get here, let’s go start round one.”

Ethan had met David and Rose MacTavish before, the first time being under tragic circumstances when Casey was dying and Ethan was frantically trying to save her life. At that time, all David knew of Ethan Ramsey was that he was his daughter’s idol, boss & mentor who was clearly distraught over everything taking place; but Rose knew more. While Casey had not confided every detail to her mother, she knew enough. She saw that her daughter was in love with Ethan long before Casey ever admitted herself, she knew how Ethan would push her away, to pull her back and do it again hurting her more each time. And she knew that Ethan boarded a plane to the Amazon a week after he left Casey's bed without so much as a word. She watched her daughter try to stay afloat at that time and she worried that each day could be the one when she finally drowned. Rose and Casey were very much alike, they both had quirky, outgoing personalities and big hearts that easily gave love and were often quick to forgive, but Rose wasn’t sure she could ever forgive Ethan for the callousness he displayed toward her daughter. He was older, he was her boss, he knew Casey idolized him. Casey forgave Ethan long before Rose ever entertained the idea. Yet, when she met him for the first time, one look in his eyes was all she needed to see to understand the depth of his love for Casey and how horrified he was at the thought of losing her. Since then, they had met on numerous other occasions and Rose began to see what Casey saw in him. Today, she was one of his biggest fans. Casey and Rose did their best to give David a sanitized version of the past three years when the couple made it official in the spring. David had his misgivings at first, for Ethan and Tobias combined could not give Mr. MacTavish a run for his money when it came to being protective of Casey. But it only took a few times of seeing the couple together for him to realize that they shared something very special. He was now elated that his daughter had found the kind of love that he and his wife had been blessed to share. But, yes, he would have liked to see a ring on it before the change of address, but Mrs. MacTavish already got him in line on that front. After greetings and a quick tour of the apartment, Ethan brought mimosas out to the balcony where they all took in the beautiful views of Boston on that splendid August day.

“Ethan, this view is spectacular. The biggest problem that you are going to have is that Rose will be trying to move in soon, this has always been her dream,” David laughed.

“Well, not necessarily my dream, but I’m quite content with it being my daughter’s so I can visit now and again,” she concurred.

Rose leaned across the table and took her daughter’s hand and then reached over for Ethan’s. Giving them both a squeeze she said “I hope you both know how happy Daddy & I are for both of you.”

“That means the world to us, Mrs. M… ROSE. I will get this, I will call you Rose,” Ethan laughed.

“I’m looking forward to you meeting Ethan’s parents, they should be here very soon. Dad, I think you and Alan will probably be meeting somewhere in Darien to go bowling in no time.”

“Darien?” David asked.

“Yes, Darien, Connecticut. It’s the halfway point between Providence and Philly, I took the liberty of calculating for you to save you both time,” Casey laughed.

“Always thinking ahead!” Ethan nodded. “David, I’m going to head down to the liquor store to get some ice, would you care to join me?”

“Oh, of course..”

“Ethan,” Casey whispered, “we have an ice maker in the fridge…”

“It’s not working right, we’ll be back soon,” he said giving her a quick kiss, “before my parents arrive, don’t worry.”

As they left the balcony, Casey gave her mother a perplexed look, “Our ice maker is working fine, what is that about?”

“Are you sure?” Rose asked, “Should we go check?” She asked conspiratorially.

“Ahh, you know what, I’m not going to worry about it, this gives us some time alone to catch up!”

“Yes, it does! So, how are you baby girl? I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so radiant.”

Casey smiled warmly and leaned her head onto her mother’s shoulder. “Thank you, Mom. I am happy I’m really happy.”

“It looks like you knew what you were talking about, if you had taken my advice on many an occasion we wouldn’t be sitting here today.”

Casey chuckled, “Well, Ethan didn’t always make it easy. Truthfully, it was always a gamble, and I decided to roll the dice. I’m just blessed it turned out the way it did because gambling is always a risk.”

“He’s a good man, Casey. I see what you did all along.”

“Was that the doorbell?” she looked at her phone, “Oh, it’s Alan, looks like they got here sooner than expected, come let’s go meet them.”

Casey and her mother moved inside and welcomed Alan and Louise. Alan was his usual vivacious self and he affably greeted Rose. But Casey immediately noticed that Louise appeared more withdrawn than usual, of course, Alan had said that she was under the weather this morning which could be an explanation.

“Louise, this my mother, Rose, mom, this is Ethan’s mother Louise.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Rose said shaking her hand.

“Likewise,” Louise said her eyes began to immediately dart around the apartment. “Casey, where is Ethan.”

“He and my Dad went to get … ice … they should be back any moment now.”

“Oh, OK. Can I use the restroom, it’s been a long ride?”

“Of course,” Casey said, “Mom, Alan, why don’t you sit out on the balcony, we will join you momentarily.”

“How are you feeling, Louise? Alan said you weren’t well this morning.”

“Yes, well, I’m fine now, Casey. Thanks. I know the way from here.”

“Oh, OK. Well, I’ve got to get some things in the kitchen, I’ll wait for you there.”

Casey stood at the kitchen island and watched Louise as she walked away before she began preparing some of the plates to go out onto the porch. After several minutes went by, she went to check on Louise to find that she had already bypassed Casey to join Alan and Rose on the balcony. I hope she is OK, she is acting peculiarly. Casey was carrying two trays in her arms when the door opened, her Dad and Ethan were boisterously conversing about golf when they walked in. GOLF? Ethan freaking hates golf, why the hell are they talking about golf, and excited about it no less? Ethan was a little taken aback when he saw Casey standing there.

“Oh, Honey, hi! Let me help you with that!”

“Uhm, your parents are here, they’re on the balcony with my Mom.”

“OK, give us these trays, let us help then,” her Dad said.

“Uh, sure, but… where is the ice?”

Ethan and her dad both looked at each other nervously. “They were out,” Ethan said.

“The liquor store was out of ice?”

“Yes.”

“OK, so did you try the 7-11? It’s right next door.”

“Didn’t think to. But, let me get that food, come on, everyone is going to be starving.”

Casey shook her head, OK, what were those two up to?

The rest of the afternoon was lovely, it was such a nice day they barely stepped inside. Casey was right, her Dad and Alan were already exchanging Facebook information and discussing when they could come to spend a weekend together in Boston, Rose and Louise were getting along fine, but Rose seemed to be making the most of the effort.

Louise only seemed interested in talking to Ethan, which Casey didn't mind. She knew how profoundly happy Ethan was to have her back in his life, so it didn't bother her if she monopolized him now and then. She just found it odd that she was being so disatant with her today, Louise had always been very loving toward Casey. But she certainly wasn't being rude, Casey figured she was making too much of it.

As dusk began to fall, Rose jumped up. “Ooh, I have a surprise for you I’ll be right back.”

“Oh, I know what this is,” David said, “Ethan, keep your girlfriend away from the edge of the balcony over there.”

“Great Dad, now he knows where I get my flair for the dramatic from,” she laughed.

Rose came out with a large box and a bag, “One is for now, and the other you may want to freeze, but here are… whoopie pies….”

“NO FREAKING WAY!!!!! OMG!” Casey yelled.

“What one person calls a flair for the dramatic, another calls years of experience and knowing what to expect,” David laughed.

“What are whoopie pies?” Ethan asked, earning a death glare from Casey.

“Ethan, if you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with Casey, I strongly suggest you come to spend a weekend in Pennsylvania so you get to know all her favorite foods, otherwise, you are doomed.”

“Yes, my husband is correct, but, there is more...”

“BAGELS!!!! PHILLY BAGELS!!!!”

“Now, this I already knew…” Ethan said laughing.

“Oh, my heart is SO full right now!” Casey said jumping up to hug her parents.

“I’ve officially taken note, if I ever screw up don’t send her roses, but dozens of carbs.”

“A man who learns fast!” David chuckled.

After eating the delicious whoopie pies and coffee, Casey’s parents headed out since they had a much longer drive home. They insisted they would come up for a weekend in September to help Casey move, even though she told them 70% of her things were already at Ethan's. Ethan whispered to just let them be, their "help" could easily just become spending time together.

Once her parents were on their way, Alan joined Casey as she was putting things away in the kitchen.

“Hello, Honorary Daughter-in-Law!” He said giving her a big hug.

“Hello, Honorary Father-in-Law!’

“It was lovely to meet your parents, your Dad is a great guy…”

“He told you about Darien, right?”

Alan laughed, “Yes, he did, you’re very proactive!”

“I am a diagnostician, Alan. I had a feeling you two would hit it off famously."

"Ah, having two of you in the same family would be tiresome if you weren't so amazing Casey!"

Casey laughed, " Alan, can I ask you, is everything all right with Louise? She has not been herself, I know you said she wasn’t feeling well earlier…”

“She did feel off this morning, but... I don't know Casey, she has been different lately.”

“Different how?”

“More distant, a bit moody, depressed even. I haven't seen her as frequently and if I ask about it she becomes upset. I don't want to push, I mean, some people found it odd that we became friends at all."

"But you had. And she was happy about it, she told me herself, so the fact that she changed is of concern. Has anything else odd happened recently?"

"I found out that she missed a week of work from Mrs. Davis. She's an old friend who owns the store next to the florist. I mentioned it to Louise and she just said she had a stomach bug and didn't make much of it."

"Really? I don't think she mentioned that to Ethan, and I know he speaks to her twice a week. He would have definitely mentioned that to me. I don't like the sound of this, Alan. Do you think there is any chance she could be relapsing?”

“I mean, I haven’t seen any signs.”

“Alan, many of the things that you are telling me here are signs.”

Casey looked out to the balcony and saw Ethan and Louise engaged in an animated conversation, both smiling brightly.

“Well, she looks happy right now. I mean, Ethan is just delighted that they have been building a strong relationship again, but I think he has to know about this."

"I would hate to see it put a strain on them."

"Alan, Ethan is a physician, we know addiction is a disease and, sadly, sometimes relapses happen. But it's better to get ahead of it. Do you want to talk to Ethan, or shall I, or we can do it together."

“Let's talk to him together. Want to set up a zoom tomorrow night, I wouldn't want to spoil today. It was wonderful meeting your parents, it's always wonderful seeing you and, look at them out there."

"I'm sure there is no harm in waiting until tomorrow. I'll text you the details. It will be fine Alan like I said, we just have to get ahead of it."

_________________________________________________________

Last week of August

“Casey, wait up!” Sienna yelled. “Are you getting ready to leave for the day?”

“Yeah, just have to stop by the office and then I’m going Ethan’s to change. I’m so excited about tonight! Three years in Boston and my first time going to Tanglewood.”

“I know! Everyone keeps telling me how much I will love it! I brought my clothes to change in the locker room, want to meet me there and I’ll go with you to Ethan’s, or as we have to start calling it, your place.”

Casey laughed, “Yeah, he has already told me that I will need to be punished each time I call it his apartment from now on.”

“Well, a great way to make sure you never stop calling it his place I guess?”

Both women broke into giggles.

“Well, this is me,” Casey said when she reached the diagnostic office, “I’ll meet you in the lobby in 15 minutes?”

“It’s a deal!"

“Hey, Ethan!” Casey said greeting him with a kiss by his desk. “You excited for tonight! Si and I can’t wait.”

“Of course I am, but some last-minute headaches.”

“Oh?”

“Workwise, I just have to finish one thing up. But I also have to call my Mom's therapist, he left a message for me earlier and we scheduled a call in 15 minutes."

"Oh, do you want me to wait around then, I mean, if it's important.."

"No, no, it's just a standard check-in, everything is fine. Do you want to take the T home and get ready, I can leave and get you from there, we’ll still have plenty of time.”

“That works!”

“One other thing, we have a spare ticket, after all, my Mom missed the last train that would get her here on time. I hate to see the ticket go to waste… I know you said Tobias probably wouldn’t be interested but, honestly, I’m sure he’d just love spending time with us and Sienna, so why don’t we ask him. It can’t hurt.”

“Uh, sure. I mean it’s last-minute now, but I can ask. He was just at the nurse’s station, I’ll see if he’s still there on my way out.” She leaned over and kissed the top of Ethan’s head, “I’ll see you at home then?”

“AT HOME. Excellent, you are finally making progress!”

“Shut up, Ethan!” She said closing the office door.

Casey spotted Tobias about to enter the elevator.

“Tobias! Hold that for me!”

“Hey stranger,” he said holding the door for her.

“Stranger?”

“Yeah, it’s been a good 3 hours,” he said with a smile.

“T, I know it’s very last minute, but Ethan and I are going to Tanglewood with Sienna tonight, we have another ticket and we’d love it if you could join us…” she trailed off when she noticed his face drop a bit.

“Is everything OK, T?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I would love to go, but I can’t. I have plans… I have a date tonight.”

Casey stepped back a bit, “Oh! Oh, I didn’t realize… Uhm, oh…well, that, that’s good. Right? I mean that’s good I guess?”

“I guess,” he said with a sad smile.

“Is this your first d… you know what never mind, pretend I didn’t say anything if you want me to know you’ll tell me. So Casey is going to shut up now.”

Tobias tilted his head and smiled. “Casey can always ask Tobias anything, she knows that right?”

She rolled her eyes and laughed, “Yeeeahh, she does. I’m happy for you T, and I’m not going to bother you, but if you ever want to dish, well, Tobias knows he can always tell Casey anything, he knows that right?”

Tobias rolled his eyes and laughed, mimicking Casey he said, “Yeeeahh, he does!”

They both laughed. When they stopped they stared at each other smiling, probably for a little longer than either of them realized.

“Well, I have to go meet Sienna. I hope it goes well tonight, Tobias. I’m happy to see that you’re trying to move on,” she said as she hugged him.

Tobias hugged back and he did not let go as quickly as he should have, instead he closed his eyes and swallowed as he took in the scent of her hair.

Stepping back he put on a brave front.

“Yeah, to trying to move on,” he said, “you around at all this weekend? Maybe I’ll give you a call.”

“Not only am I around, but I’m also off! Ethan is working so call me anytime, I should be free.”

“I will kid. Enjoy your night.”

__________

Casey and Sienna arrived at Ethan's, uhm, Casey’s apartment. Sienna was in charge of trying to find someone to take the remaining ticket. As Casey changed in the bedroom, Sienna yelled in from the kitchen.

“Casey! Raf said he can go, he will meet us in front of the building in 15 minutes!"

“Perfect!”

Casey’s phone began to ring, she smiled when she saw it was Ethan.

“Hey Baby, what’s up?”

“Hey, I’m leaving the office right now, I will be there in about 20 minutes, but I realized I left the tickets at home, can you bring them with you?”

“They're not digital?”

“No, I got these through my membership so they're paper, they will be in my desk drawer or on the top shelf of my closet. Come to think of it, I think I left them there with some of my notebooks."

"Dr. Ramsey, being all messy like that? Is there something wrong with you?"

"Yes, it's called I used to put things away where they belonged before bed, but now my sexy girlfriend wants me in bed and I'm helpless to say no."

"I think you can handle that, so what if things are a little messy! Should we wait for you outside?"

“That would be best. See you soon love.”

“Sienna, can you do me a favor,” she yelled, “Can you look in Ethan’s desk drawer and see the tickets are there.”

“Sure thing!”

“They’re not there Casey!”

“OK, thanks.”

Casey looked at herself in the mirror, All set! Now let’s just get the tickets!

She stepped into Ethan’s closet and she immediately saw his notebooks. She reached up and pulled the corner down, but something fell off of it, hitting her on the head and then falling to the floor. She kneeled over to pick it up and her heart started racing.

“Oh, my God….” she gasped. “Oh, my God! OH, MY GOD!!! SIENNA! SIENNA!!! Come here!!!”

Sienna came running in, “What is it Case, are you okay…” Sienna said breathlessly.

“Oh my God, Si, is this what I think it is?”

Sienna clasped her mouth and gasped, "I mean, it really can’t be anything else…”

“Oh my God, Si, I didn’t do this! It was on the shelf, and when I pulled the notebook off it hit me on the head, and then it fell to the floor, and I swear to God I was not snooping!”

Sienna just stared with her hands over her nose and mouth.

“Sienna, say something, what should I do. I mean, I had no idea, and now I feel so bad…but, Jesus does he has good taste or what?"

“Good taste?!? Casey, that’s a 3-carat diamond with side stones, that’s not good taste, that’s a fucking masterpiece. OH MY GOD CASEY, he’s going to propose!"

Chapter 10: Unsteady

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[rookie-ramsey]

Curveball, Chapter 6

Description: Two months after the ski lodge, life throws them a big surprise.

Preview: The words left Sienna’s mouth in a rush. “Olivia’s in labor. She’s in the ER right now. She was in a car accident and isn’t badly hurt, but it triggered labor.”

At that, Ethan felt his heart stop. His throat clenched, suddenly dry with worry. He didn’t remember breaking into a run, but the hallways of the hospital blurred past him as his feet carried him to the ER.

previous chapter

The baby shower began with lunch. Olivia got to go first, making sure to take at least one of everything. She took a seat next to Ethan at the table and leaned against his side as they started eating.

“How does it feel seeing a baby shower in your apartment? It looks like the baby aisle at Walmart exploded in here.”

Ethan chuckled. “I’m more concerned about what the conversation over there is related to.”

She arched a brow, watching curiously as Sienna whispered with Olivia’s mother and siblings and Alan in the corner of the room. “What could our relatives be gossiping about? My sister is writing something.”

“It’s hard to tell.”

After a few minutes, Sienna stood up and grinned. “We’re going to warm up with a little guessing game. I’ll tell a childhood story about one of the parents, and you guys get to guess who it was!”

Olivia couldn’t contain an amused smirk. “I guess this means I get to hear some more delightful Little Ethan stories.”

“Apparently so.” Ethan sighed.

Sienna glanced down at the paper and giggled before reading. “This parent used to wear a white bathrobe and plastic stethoscope and played hospital with stuffed animals. Who thinks that was Olivia?”

Several hands went up. Ethan bit back a smirk as her cheeks flushed a little.

“That’s right,” her mom confirmed. “She waltzed around the house in a little white robe, used every room in the house as a hospital room for her ‘patients,’ and insisted that we had to give them privacy.”

“It sounds like I’m finally getting some blackmail material,” Ethan whispered, earning an eye roll.

“Sure you are. Nothing will ever be more embarrassing than little you making out with your teddy bear.”

Sienna moved onto the next one. “True or false! When Ethan was really little, he had a fascination with Band-Aids.”

“Why do I think that’s true?” Olivia grinned.

“Because it is,” Alan confirmed. “When he was a toddler, all it took was a box of Band-Aids to keep him amused for several minutes. Of course, he put them on everything he could get his hands on. His toys, the furniture… the interior of the car on a road trip.”

Olivia laughed. “That’s adorable.”

“It’s wasteful.” Ethan shook his head, trying not to smile. The game continued for several minutes until people were finished eating.

Curious, Olivia watched as Sienna set out several unlabeled jars of baby food. “What are those for?”

Sienna grinned. “People have to guess the flavor by smelling it or taking a tiny taste if they’re brave enough. Just a heads up, the smells and tastes may not always be accurate!”

“Who goes first?”

“You pick.” Sienna handed her a basket containing slips of paper. Olivia reached it into, digging her fingers through the papers until she picked one. She opened it slowly to increase the suspense and smirked when she read the name.

“Zaid.”

Zaid startled, his eyes widening. “What?”

Amused, Olivia revealed the paper slip with his name on it. “You get to go first.”

Ines laughed and nudged Zaid toward the table. “Do it.”

He sighed. “I should have listened to my conscience and not put my name on that paper. I should have known better.”

Baz rolled his eyes and grinned. “Okay, Eeyore. Be a fair sport and play the game.”

Giving in, Zaid picked up the first jar and took a tentative sniff. He immediately set it down. “Is that supposed to smell edible? Because it does not.” He jotted down an answer on the slip of paper and reluctantly moved to the next one.

Olivia picked the second name. “Bryce, you’re up. Don’t chicken out.”

“You think I’d really back down? Never.” He picked up the first jar and smelled it, wrinkling his nose with uncertainty.

Jackie snorted. “I’ll pay you ten bucks to taste a mouthful.”

“Deal.”

Sienna handed Bryce a clean tongue depressor from the bag of supplies. “Here you go.”

Ethan arched a brow. “Are those from the hospital?”

“We didn’t have enough plastic spoons!”

“Stealing an entire Ziploc baggie of tongue depressors from a hospital that has thousands of them? Badass.” Bryce laughed and dug out a scoop of the baby food. He put it in his mouth, immediately making a face.

“Ten dollars,” Jackie reminded him.

Bryce swallowed it and tried not to gag. “That… was gross. Zaid, I’ll do your clinic hours if you try it.”

Zaid rolled his eyes. “Do I look like a moron? Don’t answer that.”  

After a few more games, they sat down to open the inordinate number of presents occupying their apartment. Olivia grabbed the first one and dug through the tissue paper until she found two tiny sets of pajamas designed to look like scrubs.

“These are so cute!”

Elijah grinned. “You’re welcome.”

Olivia picked a large present from her mom and nudged it toward Ethan. “Open that.”

Ethan removed the paper, exposing a box that seemed to contain some sort of sophisticated trash can. “What in god’s name is this?”

Rebecca laughed. “It’s a diaper genie! It’s basically a fancy trash can that’s supposed to contain the diaper smell inside them.”

“These exist?”

Rebecca chuckled. “Yes, and believe me, you’ll need it. If not for the diaper smell, then to stop them from getting into it when they learn to walk. When Olivia was a year old, she felt like knocking over a trash can full of diapers. Worst mess I ever had to clean up.”

“Really, Mom?” Olivia groaned. She opened the next present, which was from Sienna. She opened it and grinned as she dug out two stuffed dolphins, as well as two little onesies with dolphins on them.

“What do you think?”

“I love them!” Olivia folded the tiny outfits and put them back in the bag. She opened several more gifts, collecting plenty of clothes, diapers, and other necessities. When she opened the present from Baz, she giggled and held up the four matching sets of Christmas pajamas.

Ethan stared at them, his expression blank. “It’s October.”

Baz grinned. “So?”

“These are perfect. And I will make it my life’s goal to get Ethan to wear his.” Olivia gave Ethan a pointed look, wordlessly telling him he would not win the argument even if it wouldn’t happen for another two months.

Once most of her guests had left, Olivia curled up on the couch and rummaged through the gifts. Bryce and Sienna stayed to help her family clean up while Ethan helped her sort through their presents.

“I think this is my favorite.” She held up the picture frame from Alan, containing a copy of one of their sonograms and an empty slot they would use for a newborn picture when the twins were born.

Ethan thumbed through the customized journal from Naveen. His other hand subconsciously rested on Olivia’s stomach, and a moment later he felt the now-familiar little kick against his palm.

Olivia smiled, lightly placing her hand on top of his. “I don’t think you’ll ever know how cute you are when you do that. I don’t even think you realize you’re doing it half the time.”

“I guess it’s become an instinct.” Ethan slipped his arm around her.

“A cute instinct.” She gave his hand a squeeze. Stifling a yawn, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe it’s already October. By December, they’ll be here. I feel like it’s gone by fast and slowly at the same.”

Nodding in agreement, Ethan pressed a kiss to her head. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Opening presents and eating is a lot of work when you have two people inside of you.”

He chuckled and drew her closer to his side. “I’m sure it is.”

Olivia draped her arm across him and snuggled into his chest. A mischievous smile lifted the corners of her lips. “I never thought I’d see Dr. Antisocial Ramsey attending a baby shower.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “You forget that I’m capable of surprises.”

XXXXXX

It didn’t take long for maternity leave to give her cabin fever.

Since twins were almost always born earlier than expected, she scheduled her C-section for the 37th week. Even that was pushing it, but she wanted to let them develop as long as possible.

Halfway through her fourth episode of House, her phone chimed with a message from Ethan. She picked up her phone and grinned when she saw a picture of two baby onesies, each with the caption “Relax, my parents are doctors.”

She grinned as she looked at the picture to see that the onesies were blue and green to match Edenbrook’s logo. She typed a response, glancing at the time and realizing she would need to get ready for her appointment soon.

As she showered and dressed, a kick in her abdomen reminded her of just how soon their lives would change.

XXXXXX

As 1:30 approached, Ethan slipped out of his office to meet Olivia for her 35-week appointment. He pocketed his phone and car keys and made his way toward the elevator.

“Ethan!”

Ethan stopped, turning at the urgency of the voice behind him. He frowned, seeing Sienna rush toward him. “What happened?”

The words left Sienna’s mouth in a rush. “Olivia’s in labor. She’s in the ER right now. She was in a car accident and isn’t badly hurt, but it triggered labor.”

At that, Ethan felt his heart stop. His throat clenched, suddenly dry with worry. He didn’t remember breaking into a run, but the hallways of the hospital blurred past him as his feet carried him to the ER.

He made his way to the closed curtain in the corner and shoved it aside, finding Olivia resting on the bed with Bryce standing at her side. She held an ice pack to her bruised temple, clutching her stomach with her other hand.

Olivia looked up, her eyes wide with panic. “Ethan, it’s… it’s too soon for this to happen! I’m not supposed to have the C-section for two more weeks! My… my water broke in the cab…”

“Shh…” Unsure if he was trying to calm himself or her, Ethan took her face into his hands and met her worried eyes. “Everything’s going to be okay. I want you to take a deep breath and focus on me. Okay?”

Breathing shakily, she tried to take a deep breath. The heart monitor next to her beeped sharply, indicating her rising blood pressure. She winced when a contraction tore through her.

Ethan looked up, forcing his voice to remain steady for her sake. “Lahela, who’s on the OR floor right now?”

“Tanaka, but he’s in a heart transplant right now.”

“Scrub in.”

Bryce’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? I’m her friend.”

“Bryce, please. We can’t risk waiting too long,” Olivia pleaded, her voice trembling.

Bryce took one look into his best friend’s panicked eyes and nodded. “Alright. I’ll do it.”

Taking Olivia’s hand into his own, Ethan let out a small sigh of relief. “How nervous will you be?”

“More nervous than I’d be operating on a stranger, but I can do it. I promise,” Bryce assured him. “Let’s go.”

Ethan moved to the head of the bed. He kept a firm grip on Olivia’s hand as they rushed to the available operating room. Her hand clutched his tightly, seeking the reassurance. When they reached the OR, she squeezed her eyes shut against the threat of tears.

“Hey…” Ethan’s hand cradled her cheek. “Everything will be alright. Please try to believe me.”

“I’m trying…”

He helped her turn onto her side so she could receive the injection for the spinal block. Olivia gripped his hand, wincing when the needle pierced her skin. She let out a long sigh as Ethan gently turned her onto her back again.

Sensing her need for comfort, Ethan brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Talk to me. Try not to focus on the risks right now. Tell me the likelihood of both babies being fine.”

Olivia’s face furrowed in thought as she wracked her mind. “Babies delivered at 35 weeks have a 99 percent chance of survival, presuming that they don’t have pre-existing conditions.”

Ethan nodded, relieved when she seemed to relax a little. “You’re right. Remember that.”

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he tried to convince himself to believe his own words. They gave the spinal block five minutes to take effect before transferring her to the operating table.

Ethan’s heart thudded against his ribs as Bryce and the surgical team he’d assembled gathered around, ready to begin. “Please tell me this isn’t your first time.”

“I’ve done one solo and assisted on three. I can do this,” Bryce assured him. He took a deep breath and firmly gripped the correct scalpel. “Ready to make the first incision.”

Ethan rested his hand on Olivia’s cheek. His thumb gently grazed her jaw. “Bryce is starting now. Focus on me and think about the fact that in just a few minutes, the babies will be here and they’ll be fine.”

Olivia leaned into his hand and drew in a long breath. With the numbing agent, she couldn’t feel the incisions. She squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on Ethan’s fingers raking gently through her hair.

The minutes that passed ticked by agonizingly as she tried to think about anything other than the chance of something beyond their control going wrong. Her racing heart slowed just a little, allowing some of the tension to leave her body when Bryce announced that they were in.

“Everything’s going fine. Just keep hanging in there, okay? I can see the first baby,” Bryce assured her.

“Hear that?” Ethan laced his fingers through hers. “They’ll be out soon.”

Olivia nodded, her movements slowing a little. The monitor next to her beeped as her blood pressure suddenly started to drop, first to a normal rate and then a little lower. Ethan frowned, worry etching his features.

“Her BP is dropping. She could become hypotensive.” He knew the complication was common during cesareans and that there was only a minimal chance of serious risks, but that didn’t stop his heart from racing faster.

Bryce picked up the pace a little, keeping his hands steady as he finished the incision and instructed one of the other residents to place the clamps. “We’re ready to get baby number one out!”

Moments later, a cry rang through the operating room as Bryce removed the first baby. When Bryce passed the newborn to him, Ethan reacted with an instinct he didn’t know he had and immediately cradled his son in his arms.

Ethan’s heart skipped a beat, swelling with affection. Olivia blined groggily before slipping into unconsciousness. His throat tightened with anxiety as he reluctantly surrendered the newborn to a nurse for an examination.

“Olivia.” He firmly patted her cheek, torn between fear and relief when she let out a subconscious groan in response. A minute later, he looked up as Bryce removed the second baby.

For a long moment, time slowed to a crawl when the baby remained quiet. Just as Ethan felt his chest clench with panic, the newborn emitted a loud cry that made him weak in the knees. He held his arms out, accepting his daughter into them. His heart stuttered in his chest as he gazed down at the fussing baby.

He held her for a few moments before letting the nurses take her. His mind swam with mixed emotions as he returned to Olivia’s side.

Ethan waited nervously as Bryce closed her up. A relieved sigh escaped him when Olivia’s blood pressure started to creep towards normal. “Bryce?”

“Yeah?”

“Good work.”

Once Olivia was transferred into a private room, Ethan stepped into the hallway. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and started the call. “Dad? If you’re not busy, you might want to make a trip to Boston…”

“Is everything okay?”

“Your grandchildren were just born. I thought I’d… did you already hang up?” Shaking his head, Ethan slipped his phone back into his pocket and looked up as Naveen approached him, a wide grin on his face.

“I just heard some gossip that my two favorite employees just became parents.”

Ethan nodded, unable to stop a wide smile from forming on his face. Naveen pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight. Ethan returned it, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. “Olivia passed out during the C-section, but she’ll be okay. She should be awake in just a couple of minutes.”

“I won’t keep you from her. I’ll come meet those babies later. You go be with your family.” Naveen released him and squeezed his shoulder.

“Thank you.” The smile never left Ethan’s face as he quietly slipped back into the room to check on Olivia and the babies.

His family.

He liked the sound of that.

Next Chapter

Note: This was definitely my favorite chapter so far. Stay tuned for more! 

[utterlyinevitable]

I feel like we need some kind of condensed list that summarizes what happened at the end of open heart book 3 for fanfic writers. Also didn't Jackie become chief of staff?

to be completely transparent, i still haven’t played past hawaii.

but! here’s what happened in my book 3 😆

Ethan is butthurt that Bloom replaced Mendoza and June with Tobias on the team. Harper is temporary until E can hire someone else after Baz moves to research. (spoiler: he replaces harper with aurora at the end of the year). 

Bryce still goes through his reckless struggles and a patient dies on his table. 

Jackie is the best chief resident in all the land. 

Elijah spends most his time down in research with Baz and Zaid. He and Becca still have that fight over a patient. Elijah is Team Bloom and that is the opposite to what Bec believes. 

Sienna spends most of her time with the children. 

Rafael does a work placement in PT as part of his degree. 

The gang goes to Hawaii. 

Bryce and his mother have a big ass fight. They do not patch things up. 

Becca gets pregnant (the first time). Moves in with Ethan a few months later. 

Bryce’s mom flies out to spend time with Keiki and Bryce has some choice words about it. He’s trying to get on-board but it’s taking a while, especially since he’s so protective over his sister. 

The gang takes the boards. 

The FDA/FBI arrest Bloom for his shady workings. The robot is used a chief evidence, and almost everyone in the hospital has to testify against him. (Elijah doesn’t want to)  

The gang passes their boards. 

Sienna chooses to do a fellowship in pediatrics at EB. Jackie takes a gig down south. Bryce is obvi still at EB. Elijah moves to NYC to do research. Aurora works on the DT for two more years and then leads the DT at MK (landry is pissed). Rafael is working towards a degree in sports therapy. 

Naveen remains chief and Ethan as the head of the DT. 

i’m most definitely missing plot points but this is the gist of it ☺

anyone else please feel free to add your book 3!

@openheartheadcanons