#and well. i don't think there needs to be a personal connection for one to feel happiness in this sort of situation

[mindfulwrath]

was talking to one of my coworkers the other day and she mentioned that she uses chatGPT as a kind of "sounding board" for ideas or questions. specifically she was talking about using it to try and figure out what she would need to emigrate out of the country, because her ex husband is refusing to pay child support and her new partner lives in central america. she asked me if i ever used gpt for stuff like that.

'no,' i said. 'i don't trust it. not like i think it's spying on me, but i don't trust it not to give me bullshit. it's like fancy autocorrect.'

'fair, i guess,' she said. 'i don't really use it for factual stuff, i look up things i need actual facts for. but just as a way to figure out what things i should look up.'

'sure,' i said. 'i guess that niche for me is filled by talking to myself and making lists.'

she nodded. 'well, i hope you have somebody you can use as a sounding board.'

i made a face. i don't know this woman super well, but we're in a time of needing to build connections and community, and she's been pretty vulnerable with me.

'honestly, i feel like i'm intelligent and methodical when i'm alone,' i said, 'and then as soon as another person is involved, i become dumb and panicky.'

she snorted. 'fair. it must be nice to trust yourself enough to make decisions on your own. i don't think i'm there yet.'

'well,' i said. 'i kind of got to a point in my life where i had to trust myself, or else i would go crazy and die, and that point was when i decided to transition.'

'oh,' she said. 'yeah, i can see that.'

'i hope you get there, though,' i said. 'i think you're closer to it than you think you are.'

it's not about not needing or wanting input from others. i still need to get better at that, at tamping down the individualism that makes me feel like it's easier and more effective to do things on my own.

but it is about living in the power and responsibility of being the starting point and ending point of all your own decisions. setting up the problem from your perspective, making the final call from where your own feet are planted.

get a tattoo because you want one. quit drinking because drinking makes you feel shitty. stop dating because you're bored of it. spend most of your time alone and become unexpectedly sane in solitude. write your book. travel solo. trans your gender.

trust yourself. check your work. ask for help. live in the uncertainty that you won't know if you're making the right call until long after the call's been made. trust yourself to handle the consequences.

learn what sound your soul makes and hum it all day long.

[mimble-sparklepudding]

I will add a few suggestions - but I will try to limit myself to ones that haven't already been mentioned. Please bear in mind that these are examples and not being mentioned on this occasion does not mean I don't think that other blogs are not equally worthy of note!

@spotofmummery - one of the best OC (don't quibble) blogs on Tumblr. Fantastic writing, gposing and highly entertaining shenanigans. Who needs sex and violence when you can have snakes and violins? Plus they are supportive, encouraging and splendid across all metrics.

@starrysnowdrop - fantastic Lalafell representation. Beautiful gposes and amazing writing. Also thoroughly nice to interact with and kind to others. Currently exploring new creative horizons, which I am excited to witness.

@kskellington - home to a dizzingly large number of OCs, including Kwas, who is one of the most unique characters you're ever likely to encounter. Very fun and thought-provoking content and a great mutual.

@dragonsongmakhali - arguably some of the best gposes I have ever seen in my whole life, to the point I thought they were official art. Plus encouraging and uplifting in every interaction, even when times are hard.

@furys-mercy - one of the few people who can rival the previous blog in terms of gpose talent, but executed in their own unique and striking style. And also very nice (check out their latest RP venture).

@osric-giroux-ffxiv - one of the most complex and three-dimensional OCs on Tumblr, with a really well-developed backstory and narrative journey. Detailed responses to asks, even the weird ones (some of which I sent, but not all!). Looking for RP connections so go connect!

@kannedia - another multi-OC blog, with some very different characters, but all interesting and well-realised. Very fun to engage with and learn more about each of these OCs.

@adrienvalmont - a very experienced RPer (is that a word?) with a very intriguing character with all sort of interesting connections and complications. Despite (or perhaps because) of their talent, they are very nice to interact with and supportive of others.

@pumpkinmagekupo - not only is this a blog with excellent writing and a wonderful OC, they also put up with me dragging them to various in-game events and plying them with hot chocolate. Also the gposes - they are fantastic.

@yzeltia - definitely a blog that's inspired me to improve my writing, although I doubt that it will ever reach their standard! So many characters, but they are all really engaging and frequently highly entertaining.

@houserosaire - probably one of the most canon-compliant and well-researched OC blogs on Tumblr. I feel like I learn something new about Ishgard every time I see one of their posts. Plus the writing and the gposes are superb - definitely a knight you'd spend all day with.

@orime-stories / @orime-eorzea - as recently celebrated in a recent Lalafellin Limerick so you know it's got to be good! Lots of atmospheric and aesthetic posts, as well as two of the best OCs on Tumblr, with many screenshots and gposes.

@nobutakafairclough - basically an RP coach and FFXIV journalist. Has a podcast, a Youtube channel and a blog and they are all excellent. A really helpful and enthusiastic person who deserves much more attention for their work on here and elsewhere. Please check out their stuff!

@irisopranta - most memorable of rarepairs, with great writing, pretty screenshots and a thriving weaving and haberdashery business!

@saeta - cute art from an incredibly talented artist, but don't let that distract you from the other great things to be found on this blog, including the beautiful gposes.

@talion-graves - mostly a gpose and inspiration blog, but what a gpose and inspiration blog. You may feel the need for a brisk run around the playing fields and a cold shower after this one.

@kaitontenchu - one of the best WoLship blogs to be found anywhere, by turns cute, moving and hilarious. Another very fun perspective on Ishgard as well.

@hikinghydaelyn - something a little different. A concept blog (like a concept album, but like, a blog) about a little hiker and his journey across the world (and maybe one day beyond). Perhaps you will meet this OC on his journey and become a part of his unfolding story?

@cadrenebula - one of the first blogs I ever followed and still one of the best. I'm not sure they quite win the "most OCs ever to be found on one blog” contest", but they are certainly in with a chance at the prize for "the most individually detailed OCs in a blog with lots of OCs in it". Honestly, each one is more detailed and better realised than I could ever manage with just a single OC. All the writing, all the screenshots - go check them out!

@tanktechnician - After an Ala Mhigan Miqo'te OC with a strong personality and a compelling story? You've come to the right place! A really enjoyable blog to follow, with lots of ongoing character development.

OK I have to stop now, it's 3:30am, but know that this is just a snapshot of some fantastic blogs and there are many I wish I could have included, but I'm falling asleep...

SHAMELESS PLUGGING - FFXIV STYLE!

It's that time of year again! Here are just a FEW of the amazing blogs available to follow in the FFXIV community here on Tumblr! (A lot of them can also be found on Bluesky--two for one shot!) If you're not following them, YOU SHOULD BE!

@lynxden -- gorgeous shots, amazing information on lion dancing and the history of it, even some goddamn STOP MOTION ANIMATION with FFXIV screenshots, that is astounding.

@coldshrugs -- a gorgeous WoL and some absolutely amazing screenshots, I am just... *sigh*

@darcar -- a Viera as pretty as Anna (and I rarely say that...)

@cerbaros -- the GPose just gets better and better and BETTER...!

@zylphiacrowley -- ever wanted to go through the MSQ in graphic novel format? Zyl's got you covered.

@mist-touchedxiv -- come get you some Viera lore theorizing and some really interesting backstory!

@abyssalmermaiden -- legit I wonder what people drink to come up with such absolutely fucking cool character ideas...

@iron-sparrow -- why are you not following them? Why are you not following them? YOU'RE MISSING YEIN!

@ink-dreams-ffxiv -- the fishercatte is so CUTE!

@oneiroy -- not only do they put up some hella good mods, they take AMAZING shots.

@verysmallcyborg -- and if you follow Ryss, you have to follow Fornax so you can get the complete "butches in love" package!

@nolanel-corbeaux -- you will meet the skink and you will thank me for directing you to this one.

@ser-corviknight -- Avery has such FUN characters and one of the most unique WoLs I've ever seen.

@ahollowgrave -- I will always and forever push more people to follow Odette.

@feralkwe -- watching Feral get into GPose crimes is almost as delightful as reading their fanfic.

@arty-ffxiv -- when you meet Kupa, you'll wonder why it took so long to follow.

@drownedlight - this is really just a gateway to their AO3 page, but I know the fanfic will lure in just... OH so many...

@sezja -- a violet Hrothgal is the first beauty to greet you, isn't that a delight???

DO YOU KNOW MORE??? ADD MORE!!! GIVE ME MORE WONDERFUL, TALENTED PEOPLE TO FOLLOW!!!

(Like you @luck-and-larceny I see you posting more Malika lately...!)

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis 'for a moment I was so high and drunk with elation over rook's very existence and also their baffling insistence on seemingly actually liking me for my personality (??!?!) that I forgot I have no idea what the hell I'm doing' dellamorte I'd do anything for you.

cue rye running off to emmrich's office in a guilty panic to have a watcher to watcher talk pacing around the room frantically like 'that was SO unprofessional of me I'm a Watcher I should have more sense than this and he'd just woken up and spite was trying to say something and I think it could be really important but then I got um ah distracted and and and -- oh maker emmrich did I fuck up did I let them both down??? :'( *unspoken ever-present anxiety right under the surface* would I be able to help him better if I liked him less?' until emmrich forcibly sits him down and has manfred put on a pot of some nice calming tea so we can maybe all take a moment to chill out and breathe and talk about this rationally fhdakj. (emmrich has presumably dealt with many a spiralling mourn watch grad student equivalent in his time I think he'd have a handle on it I trust him. thank you emmrich). it takes some respective staring into the fade void and breathing into a paper bag under emmrich's kind professorial eye, but you know. I mean. hey. they do figure it all out eventually between them and I think that's all that really matters in the end right lol.

("Lucanis made a deal he hasn't kept -- to live" spite pls I cannot. i cannot deal with this right now you cannot be saying stuff like that. I mean it's true and you should in fact be saying it but also stop stop I'm already sad. and the fact that it's rook he tells this to, has been WAITING to tell this to. he'll listen to you. what the helllllll. hey. what if both halves of my new fucked up frankensteined together oroborous soul trusted you more than anyone in the world. but like in a real casual laidback kind of way that wouldn't make it weird or anything if you're not into that. would that be totally wild. or what. also spite's desperation to make itself understood with the limited tools and understanding of the reality it finds itself trapped in because lucanis is so shut down he's no longer really answering at all no matter how spite shouts... breaks my heart for both of them every time.)

as a fandom we have (rightfully! correctly!) dissected all of lucanis' microexpressions in this scene down to the millisecond and I think it's up to your own interpretation and the vibe between him and any individual rook what you read into them (I've written out my take on it already if you're interested in checking it out), so instead I'm going to show some appreciation for rook's expressions specifically in this scene under the cut!

the way you can actually see the sadness/sympathy settle over rook's face at the end of them saying "I don't think he ever leaves, actually" after the slightly deflecting smile!! Can't believe we have a PC with such levels of expressiveness in this game, it knocks me to the fucking ground every time. also needless to say I love taash so much. in this scene and in general and their relationship with lucanis and spite as well. prime they're a little confused but they've got the spirit (ehehe) and a huge well-meaning heart of gold.

you know what lucanis I understand why you had to go stare into the void for a while the rare open longing on rye's face would haunt me forever too after that. I also really like that rook moves themselves more under lucanis' arm when he does the wall lean -- the animators did such a good job of making their drift towards each other here feel mutual and playfully collaborative.

rook seemingly does not glance down at lucanis' mouth the way he does with them -- their eyes are focused on his right up until they slip shut in anticipation. aw. also probably part of why they're so surprised when he pulls back, since they were watching his expression the whole time and it seemed pretty safely In The Cards right up until the moment it. wasn't haha. they're just so...hm. much ado about the act of seeing and looking in this scene huh. lots to consider. some of the same feeling/sense of recognition that gets brought directly into focus in the 'you're here. you're really here' path of the main romance scene alive here too from rook's side. I really really love how you can find so many call and respond thematic/emotional moments throughout the companion storylines in this game; it feels so much like everything is talking to and in relation with itself, and you get to choose what notes you particularly heighten and play on for any specific rook to make their main melody among all of that, as it were. there's usually something that will echo back to them in there. and lucanis and rook both experiencing compromised senses of reality, self and memory -- for heighened magical reasons (possession, blood magic, solas being a huge dick (grudgingly affectionate)) and very recognizable mundane trauma reasons -- and yet being able to find each other through that and help each other feel safe and be real again together... well it does things to me emotionally, you see. can't be helped. as this scene shows, not necessarily going about it gracefully every step of the way, but that's alright. since when has love ever been terribly concerned with dignity.

also i'd just done bellara's deep conversation about her brother and her fear that she could end up falling to the same temptations he did out in the main dining hall before this scene this time around, so she was literally sitting there on the couch as these two dumbasses came stumbling out of the pantry in various states of despair and disarray fhdskja. sorry bel I didn't mean to leave you smack dab in the middle of All of That. but you have to admit it's also quite funny. front row seats to the fumble of the year

[distort-opia]

@psalmsofpsychosis I didn't want to make that post longer by reblogging it, but... well, I feel that it's something that started with The Killing Joke and then never truly stopped? And perhaps the core of it can be summarized by something Bruce said then:

"You needn't be alone." (Small paranthesis: I like Kevin Conroy's rendition of this line in the animated movie a lot more... He says "You don't need to be alone. We don't have to kill each other." He emphasizes "need" and his voice slightly breaks on it in a way that makes me want to drink cement, frankly.)

At the end of the day, Batman can make Joker vulnerable because he's the only one Joker can relate to, and thus the only equal Joker has. Batman is the only other human being Joker sees as a person. But the very act of caring about someone betrays in him a need for connection, for meaning-- no matter how stunted or emaciated and starved. This is where the "getting dragged kicking and screaming" part comes in. Joker has chosen to be inhuman, he's intentionally made himself into a monster. If Bruce coped with his trauma by becoming Batman, the man who fell into the acid vat chose to cope with his by becoming Joker. Both chose to become something more than human, but in opposite directions. One preserves life at all costs while the other snuffs it out. One intentionally suffuses the world with meaning and attempts to control every aspect of it he can, while the other sees no point in anything at all and aims to sow as much as chaos as possible. But also, one intentionally surrounds himself with people and forges connections that keep him human, while the other shuns any kind of genuine emotional attachment or relationship.

Except one. Joker simply can't destroy his connection to Batman, no matter how much he wants to, and occasionally even tries to. Batman made him, however accidentally... if Batman hadn't been there at ACE Chemicals, Joker would not have been faced with the choice of getting caught or committing suicide. He wouldn't have had to choose how exactly to make sense of his permanent disfigurement, how to live with it. Batman is essential to the creation of his "Joker" identity; he's also a threat to it, by virtue of how much Joker cares about him. So Joker's solution has been to make Batman inhuman too. A fellow creature, an embodiment of cosmic forces, something that can be idealized and thus objectified.

This solution doesn't always work, and it's because Bruce doesn't always play along. Bruce's humanity drags Joker's humanity along with it. Because what's "You needn't be alone" if not a different way for Bruce to say "I needn't be alone"?

Batman: Endgame

Batman (2016) #49

Batman: Joker War

In the Endgame example Bruce pretty much literally drags Joker kicking and screaming into being a person. For both of them it's always about one thing, in moments like these: being left alone. Being left behind. For Joker, anything that threatens Batman is another way through which this could happen... whether it's Bruce having chosen his Family at the end of Death of the Family, Bruce planning to marry Selina, or Bruce getting back together with Selina and unsuccessfully trying to have the best of both being Batman and Bruce Wayne. No matter how inhuman and monstrous Joker's made himself, the idea of being alone makes him panic, and the only one capable of making him act in such a painfully desperate way is Batman.

As a last thing, I do want to say that I love the Batman/Dylan Dog crossover for its novel premise of Joker feeling alone, even with Batman perfectly alive and kicking. It's a fascinating window into what Joker's current relationship with Batman can't give him. But this post is already so long, I'll put the rest under a cut.

Joker literally resurrects a dead guy so he can have a companion:

And then, Joker's interactions with Batman after he gets rejected...

It's such an interesting exchange, to me. Batman is pretty much saying "Did you think if you left me Gotham I'd let you go?" but their relationship is solely made out of violence. He hunts Joker. He hurts Joker. That's the only thing he can give, and he struggles with accepting that Joker might want anything else; that he could be more than a monster.

Batman/Dylan Dog #3

Most of the time, the violence is what Joker wants, for a myriad of reasons. But other times, Joker wants someone to understand. He wants someone to stand with him at the heart of chaos, meaninglessness and disorder-- someone to recognize that the world is pointless and hate it and hurt it. This is what drives him to try and get Batman to kill him, because that's the only way Batman would become like him. The only way to make him see what Joker sees.

...But I'll stop before this turns into an essay about Batman/Dylan Dog. I'm obsessed with all the rare instances Joker tries to leave Batman behind, because it elicits the opposite out of Bruce in such a delicious way. Joker turns into an emotional mess, suicidal and grasping at straws, but Bruce turns into someone horrible. Someone who'd beat Joker within an inch of his life, someone who'd rather hold Joker down so that they'd die together rather than let him go.

[drabbletron]

https://www.tumblr.com/drabbletron/776046203166212096/httpswwwtumblrcomdrabbletron7760363131713781?source=share

Couldn't stop thinking about this, and then at 5 AM my brain hit me with a wonderful scenario. (And illness, yay)

Imagine Swerve getting freaky with himself, when reader comes home unexpectedly early and he's lowkey freaking out because "how are they gonna react to me fucking myself". Then reader's just like "damn that's hot af actually" and join him

- 🐟

|| me to this anon: i love you FISH, i ain't gon' ever stop lovin you, FISH! (Fr tho, these asks are making me so happy to write!!) ||

Two is Better Than One, But Three is Just as Fun: Swerve x reader x Holo!Swerve SMUT

🔞 MINORS DNI 🔞

tw: self-cest??

Swerve can hear the jingling of keys too little too late as the habsuite door opens with is usual woosh.

"Ah, shit --!"

You're taken aback at the scene before you: Swerve has someone bent over doggy style on your shared berth, and that person is none other than -- HIMSELF?!

"It's not what it looks like!" "I can explain!"

So many questions are shooting around your head. What is he doing? Why is he doing it? Why didn't he invite you? Why are you so turned on by this? What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Both him and his avatar are scrambling, talking at the same time to placate whatever repercussions may befall him. Swerve still hasn't even pulled out of his avatar, and when he does both of them let out the deepest wanton groan you've ever heard and that definitely doesn't go straight between your legs. No way! Nu-uh!

"Swerve," he stops moving when you say his name, "I don't want to yuck your yum or anything, but what are you doing?"

"I was just, y'know!" He gestures vaguely to the avatar, "just testing some things out! With my--uh, with my programming, yeah! Testing the sensor calibrations an-and stuff…"

Swerve can feel that his frame is on fire but he can't tell if it's from the way his ass was clenching on his spike or from the embarrassment of being caught essentially playing with himself. He has no time to mull it over before you're placing your work bag on the ground and pulling up a chair to sit in. Your eyes never leave him, watching like a hawk, expecting… something.

"Tests, huh? So tell me, Swerve, how are those tests coming along?"

"G-good? I guess.. I'm not sure what you--"

"Keep going."

"I'm ..sorry?"

"Keep going. Don't let me stop you from doing what you're doing. You need results, right? Well lets see 'em. Calibrate what you need to, then maybe we can run some tests of our own."

Your eyes are different now, burning, smoldering, heated and hungry. It clicks that you want to watch. See him fucking himself. He feels so small under your stare, but the way you're looking at him spurs his movements.

Swerve reactivates the connection between himself and his avatar, the holomatter now fully responsive and operable, and both of them hesitantly go back to the position they were in. He brings the avatar's hips up and places his spike between its cheeks, grinding very gently and oh so uncertainly. He looks to you for approval and you give him a very expectant "Well…?"

"Are you sure you want me to do this? I mean, this isn't cheating, right?"

"It's just yourself piloting that thing, isn't it?"

Swerve nods.

"Then it's not cheating. Here," you take off your pants and sling one leg over the arm of the chair, letting yourself be visible to him, "how about I join you?" Less of a question and more of a statement.

More than a little confused but also very turned on, Swerve pipes up, "but you're not even over here."

"Think of it as 'mutual masturbation'; I get off while you get off and everybody's happy, yeah?"

Swerve can already see the slick on your sex catching in the dim lights of the room. If he wasn't suspicious of you being some sort of voyeur then he's sure as hell convinced now, or you might just be that into him. He'll let himself believe that you find him as attractive as you say you do when the two of you are intimate for now, if only to play into the fantasy of being desired by someone he thinks is out of his league. That little boost gets him back in the flow of things and he resumes where he left off.

(to be continued ...?)

|| NOTE: I did so little editing as I wanted to post this as soon as I possibly could!! I didn't think of self-cest being a thing until I really thought about the holomatter avatars. I will do a continuation of this, but I need the time to work on it. Got a lot to do and such! ||

[fantasyfangirling4ever]

Let's chat about Elodie

I'm really cautious to say this but I think Elodie could be alive.

It's unrealistic and optimistic and may undermine the theme of learning to live with grief, not cheating it. But there is something at play here that we're not seeing. The swiftness of Jean's parent's arrest was emphasised as well as the fact that the FBI was going way beyond what was expected of them with no obvious reason to keep Jean safe. These inconsistencies mean something, we're told to look at them, but we don't know why yet. This could be one explanation for them.

A "manhunt" is underway for Elodie instead of her death being announced when Jean's parents are arrested. If she was dead, wouldn't Nora have shown us this by now? In her style, Elodie's death would have been announced officially, and everyone would have been looking at Jean in his vulnerable grief. The details would have been horrible and torturous and we would have seen Jean endure that in this book.

Another inconsistency: Jean's papers were not fudged to get into the USA, his parents planned his sale extensively, non stop exy training from the age of 7 and then Japanese for a year. He legally and publicly was sent to Edgar Allen. This starkly contrasts eith Elodie. No one knows where she is, not just Jean who was kept from knowing anthing, but the authorities and press: Elodie is expected to be living with the Moreaus when they are arrested. Stuart tells Jean that she was sent to a contact in Morrocco 2 years ago. I feel like it's strongly implied she was sex trafficked. He says she was brutally murdered (Implying not a recognisable body). These are stark differences in M.O.

This could make sense: they had a plan for Jean, they put him into Exy because they wanted to market him to the Moriyamas who needed his papers to be legit as he was going to be in the public eye and traded to a team after graduation. Whereas with Elodie, they didn't have the same lofty plans for her, they don't care about her, don't want her around and want money/favour so they just toss her out to the first bidder. This tracks with the idea that Jean basically raised Elodie and sheltered her from their parents abuse- they were unable to manipulate her into anything usable, their dynamic in the house quickly fell apart without Jean.

Is Elodie working with law enforcement against the Moreaus? Was this after she was trafficked to Morroco or did she escape from her parents and the Morroco story was a cover they told to other families?

Will she return in the last book? Will Jean take on the role that Kevin and Rennee and Jeremy adopted for him? Will he help her heal and learn to live again? Is that the end to his story, him being well enough to help someone else?

It's not just explicit plot points and clues, it's the way the story is being told that's leading me in this direction aswell.

There are opportunities for Jean to fill a brother to characters, but Nora seems to be steering away from that.

She repeats that although Jean loves Cat and Laila fiercely, he is also attracted to them- they are not siblings to him like they are to Jeremy.

His attraction to Annalise is also underlined in their brief meeting.

His brotherly connections (although pretty one-way) to his teammates are focused on through language but i think that's to emphasise that Jean is good and the trojans are recognising that, people want to have connections with him: Tanner fauns over him, Lucas sticks by him even against his dead brother, the double Ds adopt him into the fold, but he doesn't have a strong brotherly bond with any specific person.

Jean is making a family in USC, that is undeniable but I feel like if Elodie was dead, as part of this story Nora would make him an older brother to another character to show that grief doesn't have to bury him, he can 'put' his love for Elodie somewhere, he can still be a brother after his loss.

Instead, it feels like she's saving the worst of his grief over Elodie, allowing him to push it away for this book. I feel like this could end with the grief fully hitting him (maybe after her body is found) in the next book and him dealing with that/ letting his anger out somewhere (I volunteer Bryson).

Or, book 3 could focus on the denoument of the Moreau family. We learned a lot in this book about Jeremy's family that was hinted at in the first book, but we haven't really delved into the Moreaus in the same way. It was hinted at that Jean's mother was his main tormentor, and that there was abuse with a belt- this book we learn she was causally murking children to keep her son under control. But it still feels like it's all behind a curtain. His parents were arrested by interpol, will we see the trial? Will we meet the Moreaus? Will Elodie enter at this point in the story?

It's interesting to me that at the end of TSC, Jean's old name is introduced, but its not discussed in TGR. I feel like she's obviously waiting for it to be introduced in a Marseille-related plot line, either his parents or Elodie.

Please please give me your thoughts on this, not to minimise Jeremy's experiences but I'm in serious withdrawl from aftg, hyperfixating like a mf

[homuraakemis]

So, I didn't have anyone specific in mind when I wrote this post. I was talking about a fandom opinion in general that I disagree with. That being said, I don't think you understood my post at all. You say "For me personally the actions of Vi [...] just work better [...] if her feelings are more universal (care about all people, not specifically about Zaunites)" and "So if even [...] Ekko can have moments of doubt, why shouldn't Vi also be able for have that [...] why shouldn't her commitment to Zaun also be possible to waver?". But that was literally the point of my post! That's what I said! I literally said in the last paragraph of my post that Vi ends as a protector to everyone, that she is a person who cares about everyone (which includes Zaun). And I pointed out that her commitment to Zaun (and her commitment to protecting/caring about people in general) DID waver in her pitfighter era. Also, at no point in my post do I say that Vi cares about Zaun specifically, simply that she does care and that she does want what's best for Zaun.

About what you said in your point (1): at no point did I say Vi cared about Zaun being independent. I said she cared about the well-being of the people of Zaun. That does not have to mean independence, and at no point in my post did I say Vi cared about that.

About your point (2): I have to disagree here. I know you can see everything through the lens of Vi simply wanting revenge against Silco/hating Sevika for betraying Vander, etc. But I think saying it's all for revenge ignores Vi's characterization as a deeply empathetic person, as someone who looks at the Firelights hideout and is regretful that she wasn't there to help out everyone (she says everyone, not just Ekko), as someone who looks at Caitlyn with admiration when Caitlyn says the city needs healing, as someone who is disdainful of Jayce and people who stick their heads in the dirt and do nothing. Vi's motivations might not be purely selfless, but they're also not purely selfish and they're not purely out of hatred or revenge. Saying it's all for revenge ignores Vi's characterization and ignores all of these moments of empathy and desire to help that I pointed out in my examples.

About your point (3): You say "In season 1 we only ever see her seek help fighting help from Piltover, not Zaunites". So what? Piltover has the riches and resources to help her, the people of Zaun don't. In fact, the ones in Zaun with the money and resources (Silco and the chem-barons) are the very people Vi wants to take down. It makes perfect sense to try to get Piltover's help, especially considering that she was handed the opportunity to speak to Jayce and the councillors through Caitlyn, while in Zaun she has no connections after spending so many years in prison, (the one connection she has are the Firelights, and while the Firelights have been fighting against Silco, they clearly don't have enough resources to beat him). It has nothing to do with "Vi having a low opinion of Zaun", she doesn't have a low opinion of Zaun. It also has nothing to do with Vi "not seeing Zaunites as allies". It's a matter of pragmatism. Vi is simply working with what she has. Also, saying Vi "supports pretty rough measures against Zaunites" is incorrect. Vi supports rough measures against Silco and the chem-barons, not against innocent people. As I pointed out in my original post, she puts herself between Heenot and Caitlyn (even though Heenot is a criminal), she protects Isha, she is against a full scale invasion, and so on. Vi is never in favor of police brutality against the people of Zaun, and she shows this with her actions.

About your point (4): Vi doesn't merely "go along" with Caitlyn. In Caitlyn's house, she first asks Caitlyn to go after Jinx alone so that no one will get hurt. So she clearly had her own opinions on how to proceed, and these opinions are different from Caitlyn's. In the scene after the memorial attack, she has this conversation with Caitlyn:

Vi: You need to find a way to call off the invasion. Caitlyn (in an outraged tone): What? Vi: This battle was on your soil. Down there, you'll be on their terms. Caitlyn: None of this is on our terms. Vi: Maybe you should change that.

During this conversation, Caitlyn is angry. She is calling the attackers animals, she admits she is pissed off, and when Vi suggests calling off the invasion, she says "what?" in an outraged tone. Caitlyn may have started the season talking about avoiding casualties, but after the memorial attack, she is angry, she is not in her right mind. Vi is the one that pushes back against Caitlyn here. Vi is the one that calms her down and convinces her to look for an alternative. Vi is the one showing more care for Zaun here, not Caitlyn (I'm not saying Caitlyn doesn't care about Zaun or casualties, by the way, just that at this moment, she was too clouded by anger). Saying that Vi "just went along with Caitlyn's plan" is ignoring Vi's agency and ignoring what we were shown in canon.

And about what you said about Vi's emo phase and why she didn't "stand against Caitlyn", you answered your own question in your post: Vi is human, she can waver, just like Ekko admits he wavered. Vi lost everyone she loves, she is disappointed in Caitlyn, she doesn't quite have the will to fight at that point. But just because she wavered, that doesn't mean she never cared about Zaun or about people in general, it just means that she was at a low point in her life.

About your point (5): Again, so what if Vi ends up living in Piltover? Doesn't mean she never cared about Zaun or that she stopped caring. And as I said in the beginning of this reply, I never said in my post that Vi had a special connection with Zaun. When you say that "her connection is just not as deep", yeah, I agree. In fact, if you reread my original post, you can see that I clearly stated that Vi is an empathetic person in general. She cares about Zaun, but she cares equally about Piltover as well. THAT is the point that I was making in my post. I was simply stating that Vi does care about Zaun, she is not completely detached and apathetic as some people in the fandom say she is (I'm not saying that you think that, by the way. I'm talking about the fandom in general).

About your comment that "Vi has been beating up and interrogating Zaunite prisoners for years while no longer showing aggression against Wardens": yes, because she was beating and interrogating Silco's goons. This has nothing to do with her not caring about Zaun. And her no longer showing aggression against the Wardens makes sense, because at some point, she must have realized that she wasn't going to escape that way, so she focused her attention on Silco's goons. Doesn't mean she hated Zaun or anything like that. Silco's goons aren't Zaun.

About your comment that "she will likely defer to Cait": if Caitlyn is sheriff, she has to defer to her simply by virtue of Caitlyn being a superior officer. But if by this you mean that Vi will accept anything that Caitlyn says, I disagree. As I pointed out in several examples in this very post, Vi does not blindly follow Caitlyn, she has her own agency and her own opinions and pushes back against Caitlyn when she needs to.

About all your bullet points about Vi being angry at Silco, I'm not going to repeat myself. As I said, there are plenty of examples that I gave above that show that Vi is not just motivated by revenge or hatred or just motivated by protecting her sister, but that she is also motivated by her empathy towards people in general (see what I wrote in my comments about your point 2, as well as my original post).

About your comment that "Vi is promoting relative harshness towards Zaunites when she teams up with Jayce": no she isn't, see what I wrote about this in my reply to your point 3.

Finally, to reiterate what I said in the beginning of this reply: you misunderstood my post. My original post never said anything about Vi caring about Zaun specifically, nor was it about Vi wanting independence or anything like that. I was simply saying that I disagree with people who say that she doesn't care about Zaun at all or that her actions are only motivated by protecting her family/hating Silco/supporting Caitlyn. My point in my original post is exactly what you said at the end of your post: Vi is an empathetic person in general: she cares about everyone, and that includes Zaun. And her empathy towards everyone is a big motivator in her actions, it's not just her hatred for Silco/care for loved ones like Jinx and Caitlyn. The point of my post is saying that Vi has agency and motivations beyond being an extension of these characters.

Vi is a protector and a fighter

I’ve seen people criticize the writing of Vi’s character in season 2 because she didn’t end up as a revolutionary for Zaun. I’ve also seen people defend the writing by saying that Vi doesn’t really care about fighting for Zaun, she only cares about her family and the people she loves. And I disagree with both of these positions. I don’t think Vi’s character was ruined because she was not a revolutionary (I don't think her character was ruined at all), but I also don’t think it’s correct to say that she doesn’t care about Zaun or that she doesn't want to fight for it.  On the contrary, one of the things that is consistent to Vi’s character is that she does care about Zaun, she doesn’t stop caring, and she wants to fight for it. Becoming an enforcer does not mean Vi no longer cares about Zaun, on the contrary, it’s the way Vi finds to protect it.

You can see that Vi cares about Zaun, and not just her family, from the beginning: as a teenager, she wants to fight back against Piltover: “we need to fight back. And if you won’t, I will”, “these are our streets, someone should remind them of that”. These sentiments have nothing to do with just protecting her family, it’s about her care for the Undercity. She later gives up on the desire to fight and decides to turn herself in to protect Powder, Mylo and Claggor, but that doesn’t mean that she never cared about Zaun, only that her priorities, at that moment, were with her family.

As an adult, we see Vi express similar sentiments about wanting what’s best for Zaun. When she meets Babette at the brothel, she says “By the looks of it no one down here lifted a finger to stop Silco”. She's disgusted that no one dared to protect the Undercity from Silco. Yes, stopping Silco would also mean saving her sister, but in this conversation, she’s talking about the Undercity in general, she wants to stop Silco because she sees what he did to the Undercity. When Silco finds them, she says “I'm gonna find her and erase whatever fucked-up delusions you put in her head. But first, I'm gonna bring your bullshit empire down all around you”. Here, she states that her goal is to find her sister AND also destroy Silco’s empire. When she’s at the Firelights’ hideout, she tells Ekko “I should have been there. For you, for everyone.” Again, she wanted to be there not just for Ekko, but for everyone. She looks at Caitlyn with admiration when Caitlyn says "This city needs healing", which once again shows how much Vi cares about the city in general. When she enlists Jayce's help to attack Silco's shimmer factory, we see Vi's desire to take action to help the Undercity, and her disdain for people who don't take action (she disdainfully calls Jayce "a victim" when he tells her he is not a vigilante, and after the raid on Silco's factory, she says "You've always been a part of this. You just never had to look it in the eye. One dead kid? There's hundreds more where he came from, thanks to Silco, and thanks to people like you who stuck their heads in the dirt"). In her second fight with Sevika, she imagines Vander saying "She still needs you. They all do". Who are "they all"? Yes, it could be Ekko and Caitlyn, but given all the other instances of Vi talking about her desire to protect the Undercity in general, I think it's likely that she thinks the Undercity needs her. So as we can see, even as an adult, Vi states multiple times her desire to help the Undercity as a whole, not just her family and loved ones. She wants to fight for it and disdains those that don't fight or don't do anything to help.

And her actions follow her desire to protect the Undercity. As a teenager, she wants to fight Piltover, because she sees Piltover as the greatest threat to the Undercity. But as an adult, she sees Silco and shimmer as the greatest threat to the Undercity. And she is right: Silco flooded the Undercity with a dangerous drug that is highly addictive, debilitating and damaging to people’s health, but also turns people into super strong monsters with little control of themselves, who also attack people who aren’t users (as Ekko says, “everyone here was an addict or a victim”, that is, those who weren’t addicts were being victimized by the addicts). Not only that, but while Silco wants the Undercity’s independence from Piltover, he doesn’t actually seem to care about the social inequality and injustice within the Undercity itself, as seen by his use of child labor in shimmer factories (which is possibly slave child labor, considering that in the Sucker montage in season 2, we see Chem-barons trying to capture kids against their will).

Vi is right in seeing Silco and the chem-barons as a threat to the Undercity, and her actions in seasons 1 and 2 are consistent with her desire to protect the Undercity from them: in season 1, she wants to stop Silco and enlists Jayce’s help to dismantle the shimmer factories. At this point, she is already working with the enforcers, even if she hasn’t officially joined them. Vi wanted to keep going, to completely rid the Undercity from Silco and shimmer, but Jayce refused. So she tries to go directly to The Last Drop to confront Silco, and that’s where she has her second fight with Sevika. In season 2, Vi becoming an enforcer and being part of Caitlyn’s strike team is just a continuation of her season 1 actions in which she already worked with enforcers and already wanted to free the Undercity from Shimmer and its gangs.

But Vi doesn’t just want to get rid of Silco and the chem-barons. She also still wants to protect the Undercity from Piltover: after the attack on the memorial, she argues with Caitlyn to convince her to do something to stop a full scale invasion of Zaun, which is what leads to the strike team’s formation in the first place. The strike team is formed exactly as a way to minimize casualties. Yes, even the use of the Grey is meant to minimize casualties, and no, the Grey is not this lethal gas the fandom claims it is (see this meta for a more detailed discussion of the effects of the Grey). We see during the strike team that Caitlyn uses nets (aiming to capture, not kill), they help Heenot even though he is a criminal, and we also see Vi push back when she sees Caitlyn going too far: Vi puts herself between Caitlyn and Heenot when Caitlyn threatens him with a gun, Vi protects Isha, and later, Vi argues with Caitlyn over her having worked with Ambessa. Vi is constantly trying to avoid unnecessary violence and trying to uphold Caitlyn to the highest standards. She is shown to still care about protecting the Undercity from Piltover's oppression.

By the way, I know some people might get confused between Vi’s stance on not hurting Isha and her apparently justifying Jayce killing a child. But I think they’re different contexts: Vi understands that casualties will happen in the heat of the battle and is willing to accept them (even if she obviously feels remorse for what happened to Renni’s son, as we can see in her face when she looks down at his body), but she is not ok with deliberately putting a child at risk (considering that she already had Jinx pinned down and there was no necessity to shoot, Caitlyn was not in a right state of mind and the hextech weapons were glitching).

The only time Vi stops trying to help the Undercity is during her pitfighter era, but that’s very understandable: it’s her lowest moment in life, the moment she lost everyone she loved (her family, her sister and Caitlyn). I can’t really blame her for sinking into despair and not caring about politics during this moment of her life. But this is her lowest moment, it’s not who she usually is. Who she usually is is a person who cares deeply about everyone around her and wants to actively take action to shape the world around her. She takes action to stop Silco and Shimmer, she wants to stop Jinx herself, she takes action to avoid a Piltover invasion, she tries to avoid casualties and unnecessary brutality in the strike team, and so on. And we see that she disdains those that don't take action. Vi is not someone who wants a normal peaceful life, she wants to be a difference in the world around her. Becoming an enforcer isn’t about Vi “not caring about the Undercity” or “betraying the Undercity”, it’s the way Vi found to protect the Undercity, even if it meant people of the Undercity would see her as a traitor (which is very clearly a parallel to Vander, who also compromised with enforcers). And yes, I know part of the reason for her becoming an enforcer is about supporting Caitlyn, but it's not just about supporting Caitlyn, as we see plenty of examples of her expressing her desire to protect the Undercity and fight for it.

But Vi doesn't only care about the Undercity, she is an empathetic person in general (as Vander says, she has a good heart). As a teenager, she might have hated Piltover, but as an adult, and after meeting Caitlyn, we see that she deeply cares about everyone, even the people of Piltover. She condemns Jinx's attacks on Piltover, calls her a psycho for them, and wants to stop Jinx. She also cares about fighting to protect people in general: when she goes to free Jinx, she doesn't ask Jinx to run away with her (which is what she would do if she only cared about her family), she asks Jinx to stay and fight against Ambessa and Viktor. And in the end, she fights to protect the entire world. Because Vi is a protector at heart, not just to her family and loved ones, but to everyone.

Vi doesn’t end up as a revolutionary, but she does end up as someone who tries to work within the system to help the Undercity AND Piltover in any way she can, and that's consistent with who her character has been in the entire show. She ends up as a protector, not just to Zaun, but to everyone (it makes sense that she and Caitlyn end up together, given that Caitlyn is also a protector who tries to work within the system to protect everyone). And if she continues as an enforcer (as I do believe she does, considering her League lore), she and Caitlyn would definitely try to make institutional changes so that enforcers will actually protect people instead of serving as a means to oppress them.

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.

Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.

How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!

[happyk44]

You know, children of Hades/Pluto and Thanatos/Mors with a propensity to develop SZPD or AVPD would also work. Their fathers are entwined with death, the dead, which makes connecting to the living hard for them.

It could be partly because of rejection when their parentage is discovered by demigods, possible unease mortals may feel around them due to their aura or whatever, and then partly because of their own innate nature, meaning even in the friendliest of circumstances they struggle to connect with the other person.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

"Er-ge, oh, Er-ge!"

Lan Xichen had no patience for Nie Huaisang's little troubles, not at that place and time, but the younger man sounded and looked so distraught and unconsolable that he felt obligated to help him. Even his tears looked real and honest, not just the dramatic ones he conjured when he was too lazy to bother with sect things.

"Yes, Nie Huaisang?" The younger - and smaller, weaker, his conscience whispered - man threw himself in his arms, tears flowing without his unnecessary sobbing noises.

Lan Xichen had a soft spot for his sworn brother's didi, his didi. And maybe helping him with whatever trouble he found himself in this time, he could hopefully pretend that the love of his life wasn't getting married to his beloved bride.

"Er-ge..." Nie Huaisang sniffled. "I'm in trouble."

"I already guessed that. What happened, A-Sang?" He asked, his hands buried into the soft locks of his younger brother.

Nie Huaisang pulled away, his eyes big and teary, tugging on his heartstrings. "No, Er-ge. I'm in trouble."

It took Lan Xichen more time than he would like to admit to finally understand the meaning of those words. Nie Huaisang was in trouble.

Oh, the irresponsible man!

"Who? Is it somebody in our status? Is there anybody who knows this? You need to get married immediately." He went into problem solving mood, his questions coming like rapid fire.

Nie Huaisang just cried.

"Nie Huaisang, this is serious!" He wanted to shake the boy. How could he be so- "Who is the father?!"

The answer came like a slap in the face. "Da-ge."

Oh.

Oh, the poor boy.

"I..." A sharp inhale. "I will help you. Nobody has to know."

His heart beats for Jin Guangyao, but he always had a soft spot for Nie Huaisang. It wouldn't be love, not the way it should be, but he would take care of the younger man and his unborn child. Da-ge's unborn child.

"Th-Thank you," Nie Huaisang stuttered. Tears were still gathering in the corner of his eyes, but he looked relieved.

Lan Xichen was glad he could be helpful. He was glad he could offer a good solution for his- his betrothed?

"I knew I could count on Er-ge's help," Nie Huaisang said, his usual fan fluttering in front of his face.

"You can always count on me," he promised. It was a promise he was intended to keep.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

on my quest to find more books to read this year, there's been something kind of heartwarming to see that of the books on hold at my local library, or on the weekly bestseller's list at my local bookstores, there's always at least one book up there that's about Palestine. It's at least nice to see that some people in my area want to learn about the historical context of what's happening now, and learn far more than what a few posts on their feed can tell them. It makes me hope that public perception will continue to change for the better - and that the kind of support I've seen in my area won't die down immediately after a ceasefire is called

[aeide-thea]

sometimes it really is just like. is this all there is. feeling oversensitive & undersocialized—too sensitive to socialize—forever, bc you never got enough ~affirmation~ growing up (poor, pathetic baby; how long will you persist in singing the same self-pitying song…), & so never developed the proper emotional cushioning against the heartache & the thousand natural shocks, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c…

[skrunksthatwunk]

last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me