#and we have to project really hard
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lotf fandom is so funny because people here are like "i headcanon that Jack Merridew has substance abuse issues" and Jack Merridew is a 12 year old boy who tried to vote himself leader and start crying and ran away when he lost
#lotf#lotf fandom#hello lord of the flies fandom#lotf jack#jack merridew#lord of the flies#i promise this is all loving#its just funny to me that most of us here are teenagers#and we have to project really hard
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Another year has passed, and with it the opportunity to reflect back on all that has happened. While my growth was not as dramatic as last year, I can still see lots of positive change.
I'll never have enough ways to say thank you for all the love and support you have given me this year. On to 2025!
(2023 summary here!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#Since last year's independent variable was PD-WWX; this year I used Lan Wangji.#Unfortunately his appearances were not very evenly distributed this year! Lots of LWJ's early in the year#then a dead period in the middle. He is forever my silly rabbit. I love drawing him!#If I have to put a label on this year; I'd describe it as 'experimental'. I pushed myself to do llots of new things!#I drew lots for dungeon meshi and that really boosted my growth. More body types -clothing details - expressions!#Ryoko Kui is a great artist to learn from and It made me realize that I had a lot to gain from doing more studies.#I also started working on a whole new genre of art! While it has taken a backburner spot - I'm working on a game now!#Digital art was my enemy last year but I have been getting a feel for it now.#Goals for this year is to 1) keep working on my personal projects 2) finish PD-MDZS! and 3) practice animation!#I didn't (couldn't) draw as much as I did last year...but I had to take a lesson in humility and taking care of myself.#Drawing is something I do 'for fun' but there were many times it became more stressful than it should.#I'm still learning how to find and maintain balance with everything life throws at me.#We are all works of progress and I am trying very hard to love the process and the journey! I don't really know my destination!#But I will keep taking steps forwards. I never want to be stuck and lost as I once was.#If 2024 was a rough year for you too; We're in this together. Let's keep taking steps together. No matter how small.#Love you all so very much. You've given me strength on the darkest days. Thank you thank you thank you.
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#sherlock#it might be the cough medicine but I'm really feeling the bbc sherlock wedding episode today#a good feeling ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#like finding an old block of cheese in the back of the fridge you forgot about and its gotten super hard and chewy#i currently have half a block of gouda curating in the vegetable cupboard#waiting#how are you doing friends!! C:#I'm good! I still have the cough but I also got a new scarf#I'm still thinking about buying window colors as well but I am waiting if that is also just because of the cough medicine#I can't believe it's already been a year since I have moved! last year I was doing everything here for the first time#and now everything is happening for a second time! that year was both very long and also happened very fast#our floor in the “office” my father wanted to install still is not completly done but he threw up last time he tried#he did not threw up because of the floor but because every time he does a home renovation project he drinks 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola#we are trying to not make him drink 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola but he doesn't want anyone else to finish the floor I think so we just do#not mention the hole in the floor#have a nice autumn day friends!! I hope you're doing well! ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ )#♥
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Yeonjun about the strain he felt while preparing for his debut solo project ✙ "GGUM" MAKING FILM
#yeonjun#choi yeonjun#tomorrow x together#txt#ggum: making film#gifs#creations#userzaynab#useryeonbins#skyehi#rosieblr#megtag#hibiebear#heyiri#ultkpopnetwork#kpopccc#kpopco#this are like the rawest emotions we've seen from him... I feel... it's really sad to watch him like this#i mean I know they're under lots of pressure and stress#It's only natural when you work with so many people who you could potentially disappoint#and I know it was his choice to make this solo project happen now but i feel like the company could manage his schedule better#because why he films till 3 am and then right next day has a flight to another country for a concert...#and now we know from soobin they're super busy again#I'm worried his body will just say 'enough' one day and something bad will happen :(#and you have him work so hard and stress and then all this losers online whose biggest achievement is getting 100 likes on a post#writing the worst things about him for no reason... its not that hard to be kind and you dont need to have an opinion about everything :D#at the end of the day that celebrity you hate so much is still pretty and successful#and you're just a friendless jobless empty-headed rotten fool with likes on a post that mean nothing once you close the ap#I'm just glad all this is still fun for him and that he has such a great support system: his members family staff who care about him and us#all we can really do is support them and send them lots of love fr ;; you've done well my jjunie ily ♥
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Hiiii I saw you say you have Notes on your Remus and Janus designs 👀👀?
Could we see/hear some tidbits?
FOR SURE !! Here's what the original doodles for their designs look like, first off, (I know you didn't ask for Virgil but I did these three at the same time)
When I drew this I had just finished an exam and had to wait another hour until I could leave the classroom, so I wrote down enough notes that I had to flip the page instead:
Virgil:
- Virgil has light brown hair that he dyes black (badly). It is essential that the dye job look like shit. It looks artificial, his roots are showing, there's patches where the color didn't take, etc etc.
- He also has blue eyes, which I decided on mostly because it makes it even more clear that his hair isn't naturally black.
- He wears earrings, but his ears aren't actually pierced — they're fake little little clip-on things.
- He wears black nail polish at all times, but it's always chipped because he gets the cheapest stuff he can get his hands on.
- His hair (especially his bangs) get very long at times because he gets too socially anxious to go to the hairdresser. Back in middle school, he used to have Janus cut them for him (Remus could have done a better job but trusting him with scissors would have been a mistake). Now he mostly cuts it off by himself — it looks about as good as his dye job.
- Virgil's purple hoodie is a leftover from Remus' fashion design endeavors that Remus thought didn't look weird enough.
Janus:
- He has naturally strawberry blonde hair. The length is very important to him — he started growing it towards the end of middle school. (He allows Remus to experiment with hairdos sometimes as long as he doesn't cut anything off. I need to draw that sometime)
- I'm not entirely settled on his eye color. I know at least one of his eyes is a very pretty brown, but I have half a mind to give him a yellow glass eye for his left side — I'm not sure it'd make any logistic sense for his situation, though
- He got his ears actually pierced when he was 16.
- He also may or may not have a forked tongue. Not sure how I'd ever be able to show that off — but if he does have one, then Remus definitely was the one to encourage him to do it.
- His fashion style was definitely influenced by being around Remus (who may have used him as a mannequin/dummy because he's small.) so much. Remus also attempted to make clothes for him, but Janus is very fancy and picky, so he doesn't wear those clothes very often (though he might accessorize with stuff Remus made for him occasionally).
Remus:
- He has naturally very dark hair. He uses temporary/surface level dyes a lot, but if he's using permanent or semi-permanent dyes, he's usually limiting himself to the grey streak — it's kind of a sample strand, since it's already bleached. He 100% copied his hairstyle from Roman's.
- He (and Roman, of course) has greenish blue eyes.
- Janus paid for him to get his ears (and eyebrows) professionally pierced because otherwise he was just going to do it himself with a sewing needle.
- He has a lot of very shitty stick-and-poke tattoos he made/makes on himself. They're almost always hidden by his outfits.
- Speaking of which, Remus makes most of his outfits costumes himself. The quality of the work may vary, but they are always way too over-the-top for casual wear, because he stands out anyway, so... in for a penny, right. (As I said in the tags of a post: he is very creative and has no shame or social anxiety at all, so he had his whole aesthetic ("overdramatic green") figured out by the time he was 13)
- He also has SH scars, but, again — they're hidden by his outfits 99% of the time. He's a slut who never shows an inch of skin
#their design go in order of intensity Virgil → Janus → Remus#virgil likes to express himself but is too chicken to do anything too extreme so he's limited to softcore emo#janus is definitely fancier than most but he wears stuff i still definitely see every day at my uni#(i see people wearing corsets regularly at my uni idk what other people's experiences are. English litt major in a non-English country...)#(for those who don't know that's a gay as fuck major)#and then Remus looks like he's in the middle of a stage production every single day. with makeup to match#OH this is somewhat of a college AU ! Roman is also there and Remus' class does costumes for Roman's occasionally#Roman does theater and Remus does visual arts (design major/fashion minor bc there was no fashion major)#Janus and Patton are philosophy majors and of course Virgil is a psychology major#and then we have Logan in biochemical ingeneering for obvious reasons.#i have so much lore sorry for rambling .#anyway they keep a lot of their original designs because it just fits them#BUT i needed to include virgil having a shitty hairdo/dye and etc because he is. SUCH a try-hard in my mind.#emo sure. but he looks wannabe emo. it's Essential. he's fake ! he wants to fit in! with the gay kids sure but he still wants to fit in!#it's very clear that his hair is dyed because it's very clear that he is a wannabe. it is so important to me.#also the tidbit about him not being able to go to the hairdresser. is ALSO SO IMPORTANT. he pretends the shitty hairstyle is intentional.#even his signature hoddie is someone else's leftovers. He Borrows. From A Lot Of Places. but he doesnt have a real identity of his own yet.#you wouldnt guess while reading these tags but im actually way more passionate avout Janus and Remus than i am about virgil#it's just that i project onto virgil so so so much .#anyway SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE AGAIN. I KEEP DOING THAT#ask#idrawgaystffs#sanders sides#lbau#drawing#traditional#rant#do i character tag this. i dont feel like feel like character tagging this#OH AND thank you so much for asking !!! as you can tell i really like talking . about them
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Alright, the hyperfixation’s still kicking, so fuck it. Here’s the pokemon I think the Project Eden’s Garden characters would have or would turn into if they were Mystery Dungeon’d
Damon - Servine, Applin, Noibat
Kai - Togetic, Ribombee, Vivillon
Eloise - Swanna, Honedge, Farfetch’d (Galarian) or Sirfetch’d
Grace - Buneary, Jigglypuff, Spheal (golf ball lmao)
Wolfgang - Flaaffy, Wooloo, Herdier, Prinplup
Ingrid - Pyroar, Armarouge, Tinkaton
Toshiko - Spritzee, Fomantis, Flamigo, Roselia
Jett - Poochyena, Scrafty, Revavroom
Mark - Treecko, Whismur, Deino
Eva - Corvisquire, Mawile, Sneasel (normal or Hisuian)
Ulysses - Hoothoot, Elgyem, Claydol
Wenona - Teddiursa, Stufful, Pancham, Pawmo
Desmond - Wartortle, Poliwhirl, Dewott, Clauncher
Cassidy - Sizzlipede, Joltik, Dewpider, Scolipede
Jean - Dragonite, Druddigon, Charizard
Diana - Audino, (shiny) Furret, Galarian Ponyta, Minccino
#project eden's garden#project edens garden#danganronpa fan game#damon maitsu#pokemon#a lot of these have to do with their respective animals#some were easier than others#Diana Mark and Jean were fucking HARD#Cuz like#no lizard pokemon really fit Diana’s vibe y’know?#Some of them I also picked just based on vibes#Wolfgang gets sheep. but also a herding dog cause he tried to immediately take up a leader position and lead the rest of the class#Herding the sheep so to speak#Grace gets a spherical pkmn cause she golfs lmao#Damon and Kai were pretty easy. fits their animals and personalities#I immediately thought of the snivy line when thinking of Damon#same with Toshiko and Spritzee#god though a mystery dungeon au of Eden’s garden goes hard to me#they get isekai’d after trial 1 and the situation changes from#-we cannot trust each other- to -we have to trust each other to survive-#Angst and escapades ensue#coupled with adjusting to the fact that they ARENT HUMAN ANYMORE WTF#I loveee that kind of angst#Also they have to adjust to the fact that ultimates aren’t like#a thing in the pokemon world#Damon has Feelings (tm) about that#Immaculate. Fantastic. I’ve been plagued by these thoughts for DAYS#and I’m making it other people’s problems
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Scorpio
The most toxic man alive but also a very well trusted and respectable boss and leader of the Zodiac.
#my characters#truly the man is like a poisonous hedgehog... just makes poison quills and projectiles#and if his life is in danger and he is unable to actually think about it his body just exudes a toxic gas as a last measure#to try and protect himself but he doesnt actually have control over that one#so yeah most toxic guy around and very nice guy unless you ask Cancer who is his right hand man#Cancer is kinda divided on Scorpio bc yeah like sure he looks after everyone really well buuuuut#hes also kinda weird (to Cancer specifically) so like you know uhhhh kinda hard to be chill with that#and while im talking about them Cancer is a noncombative sign and is group heals#and he is a VERY skilled healer and can heal through your clothing which is most of his complaints with Scorpio who likes to just#remove his clothing when hurt and is like there now you can see it better#and yes hes aware it unsettles Cancer but! Cancer hasnt quit yet! so theres still hope in getting him to lighten up!#as a Gemini im gonna be honest Gemini is Scorpios number one fan and idolizes him#its totally fine im not projecting at all i promise#and in turn Scorpio is like ok we all know what the objective is correct? and everyone is like protect Gemini we know#and no actually that isnt wrong but at the same time not right....#hes a good boss ! which is unique to his group since this is in a plot with uhhh the seven deadly sins and other large groups#and none of them really have a designated boss - just the Zodiac#and when he isnt in the above outfit which is for battle he really likes fancy formal wear#so black slacks and shoes with a purple button up and then a black vest#and sometimes a tie but thats a little more rare and for SPECIAL occasions rather than the daily formal
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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Wouldn't mind that Blake & Birdbandit post, not least because fndm's whole 'catGF's role here is to Protectively Glare at the badmom and/or rub her loyalty to Yang in Rae's face'…thing has struck me as reductive & blinkered for quite some time.
lol yeah it’s… kind of obvious that a lot of people aren’t thinking about it in terms of characterization and narrative, they’re thinking about it in terms of wanting yang to receive some degree of protection from raven’s abandonment (even if it’s performative, even if in reality that kind of behavior from a romantic partner in a situation where you’re trying to work out a relationship with your absent/estranged mother is… obnoxious at best, making it all about how the partner feels at worst.)
but like
the thing is blake ran away from yang out of self-loathing cowardice too, and by the time she meets raven, raven has come back and made a serious commitment to make amends, not just to yang but to everybody. she’s back in the inner circle, that suggests a monumental effort to change –
and blake, uh, knows how hard it is to make that kind of change, to come back and apologize and face those fears after running away, because She Did That. not just with yang but also her own parents!
blake is also by a… pretty wide margin the most forgiving member of team rwby, the one most willing to offer second chances, to listen and empathize with people she thinks can be reached, we saw this play out with ilia. and weiss, after weiss acknowledged she’d done wrong and demonstrated willingness to change back in v1. she’s the only one of team rwby who isn’t claws-out toward emerald at the top of risk, and she’s the first one to voice her understanding of why ozpin lied and hid from them. she is, in general, not vindictive or spiteful.
and while i can absolutely see her being more defensive of yang than she is of herself, there is no universe where i can imagine blake of all people engaging in – pardon me – catty mean girl behavior towards raven on yang’s behalf. if she snaps at raven at all it’ll be to rebuke raven saying something caustic, but i don’t think raven is going to be much inclined to be caustic at this juncture.
i imagine it will be more, blake is aloof and wary of raven but cautiously optimistic on yang’s behalf and wholeheartedly supporting whatever yang wants out of reconnecting with her mom, and raven maybe avoids her for a while before venturing to make awkward stabs at conversation, and then blake’s diplomatic and interpersonal skills kick in. they have a fair amount in common personally, and they also have caring about yang in common, and if blake were to express any feelings she has about raven trying to be in yang’s life it would be concern, and probably confided in yang to make sure she understood what yang wanted and how blake can help her. maybe having a careful conversation with raven, later, if they builds up a good enough rapport.
at the end of the day, blake is a) a diplomat and b) way too mature to let whatever private resentment or indignation she feels on yang’s behalf get in the way of letting yang take the lead here. which is the correct way to deal with this situation. incidentally.
#honestly though what it comes down to mostly is the fanon here is just. outrageously immature and self-centered#my mom did some really messed up abusive things when i was a child but i have a decent relationship with her now#because she made an effort and is way better at being a parent to an adult#and if *my* gf treated her like that i would be furious. esp if it was when we were actively reconciling#because it would reveal a complete disregard for the relationship *i* want to have with *my* mom#and create friction and unnecessary drama just because… what?#it’s just too hard for *them* to be civil?#frankly even in cases where a parent is actively abusive you cannot antagonize the parent of a partner or friend#if the parent is in their life at all. because it endangers them! if the parent retaliates it’ll be their child who they take it out on.#i’m hard-pressed to imagine a less appealing trait to project onto the love interest of a favorite character lmao
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underrated funny thing about lawlight is they never actually did get to confirm that 100% of the time they were basically thinking exactly what the other person thought they were thinking every single time
#im thinking about this because of the relationship i have with one of my bosses#like hes extremely hard to read and doesnt make small talk but hes also considerate in quiet ways#so im always like guessing what hes thinking and feeling and wondering if hes trying to do the same back#but then im like am i just projecting onto him completely? making this all up in my head#hes giving nothing and im imagining everything. and you really dont want to make assumptions because it would be awkward to be wrong#for example a few times now things that i wondered if he was doing to make my life easier were actually just things he was doing#because he was secretly preparing to close up shop#so i was glad i never voiced my appreciation for his thoughtfulness out loud to him when i found out the truth lol#ANYWAYS unlike in my situation#the entire time whenever one of those two thinks one thing the other one is like 'i bet he's thinking this' and we the readers#look between their thought bubbles and go 'pffft he sure is what are you gonna do now'#its probably a good thing they went to mu because the afterlife couldn't handle all the smug sex theyd be having on every available surface#24/7/365#lawlight#p
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I have one more thing I want to work on before I get back into updating 2AL regularly, but until then......
#I was going to do a poptart mindscape introduction comic next but like#idk how necessary that is???#I am assuming by this point we all know how the mindscape works right?#> can share memories#> can manipulate what you look like#> and can manipulate surroundings/summon whatever you want at will#I am assuming we know these things????? yeah?#2 arms left#and like! ah#gosh that animation project is scary#the last 2 options are build up comics for it that I am *probably* going to have to make at some point anyways#another part of me entirely is debating scrapping the animation project and just doing that update in comic form instead of animated form#YKNOW LIKE A NORMAL PERSON#idk#rambling#I am at a really weird part of the storyline for 2al where I know what happens next#but its going to be hard to visualize it? if that makes sense?#what do you MEAN these story points cant just get#beamed out of my head and into everyone elses heads#anyways hello thanks for reading this far into the tags#augh ive been very busy!#to whatever wins this poll I may not get to it till the end of the month#or after since the rest of this month is going to be pretty stressful#this is also assuming the animation option doesnt win#I dont know how long thats going to take me......#assuming I even have the guts to finish it
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EVERYBODY FREEZE, NEW REBUILD THE GALAXY TRAILER DROPPED
LOOK MY BABYGIIIRL
#luke skywalker#enjoying his retirement AS GOD INTENDED.#the way he's on an ocean planet too makes me giggle so hard#and MARK IS BACK#I MIGHT CRY#now-#i'm really hoping they end up showing the rest of the fab four in the series..#okay okay fine I just wanna see han..#but can you blame me IT'S THE CLOSEST TO OLD MAN YAOI SKYSOLO THAT WE CAN GET#I CAN TASTE IN ON MY FINGERS#i haven't been that excited about any of the new projects but they showed luke and I have risen#ridiculous.#star wars#rebuild the galaxy
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...
#i never really thought about a person being a finite thing. you can see the effects of a person after they die. in the unfinished projects.#in the rooms of clutter. in abandoned closets. in pictures and in mermered phrases. and you can see time#chipping away at those things. eroding away the evidance that a person existed. clothes move into other people's closets. projects are boxed#away. and a person becomes confined to photos and memories. and thats existentially terrifying but its not a bad thing. time erodes away all#things. that's how life works. matter and energy transforms.#we arent made to last forever. i dunno. i guess im still just rattled from being home even tho ive been back a week and a half.#and my brain tends to fixate on the wrong things. nearly 27 years of knowing someone eclipsed by a visual sequence lasting less than a day.#bc i just cant get over how scary it would be to die like that. to start losing control of your body. to not be able to feed yourself or get#to the bathroom. to have your mind be overcome by the toxins building up in your mangled and broken body.#and it could have been worse. it could have been a lot worse. but its still not fair. theres no good way to die. i dunno. i guess i just#miss my mom in some abstract way but i find it more viscerally upsetting to think about the people that have to deal with her absence.#it makes me sad that my dad is alone now. i dunno. grief doesnt feel like i thought it would. most of the time i dont even know what im#crying about. its undirected. it doesnt feel like: i miss you. it feels like: youre gone. how can you be gone? why does everything feel the#same? and its not that it doesnt make sense. its that nothings changed. the terror of that.#and im walking around in an acumulation of my dead mother's clothes. and no one knows. theyll never know.#and there's nothing to be done about it. so it goes.#i guess im just sad. and its hard to breathe at the thought of returning to school at the end of August.#unrelated
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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listen i would've supported 23.5 no matter how terrible it might've been and i will continue to support it no matter which route it takes; but i am incredibly happy that it starts sweet and gentle and goofy as all queer high school romances deserve to be 🥰
#23.5 the series#23.5 degrees#i adore that altho it is shown that ongsa is having a hard time settling in and finding her place and we are told this has always been#the case for her#it is also immediately shown that there is kindness and friendship and care in this new universe for her if she is able to reach back to#those reaching out to her#i adore that they use slightly unhinged over the top moments to highlight the genuine awkwardness and terror of being a teenage girl#and even more so a queer teenage girl#i have already seen people call out the over the top 'weirdness' as too much#(tho too much is never quite called out as much in male performance bc the threshold for too much is so much lower for women huh)#but that is genuinely how it feels in that moment tho isnt it#everything is so heightened and over the top and everything is the WORST and the BEST#and you are the only outsider even tho you're not#like not to project too much meaning onto the silly little gl romcom#but it feels really genuine even in its silliness and i appreciate that so much#and i have genuine good hope for a quiet small sapphic romcom set in highschool
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I brought in some homemade peanut butter fudge for my coworkers, today, as well as some ornaments as little holiday gifts, and everyone who saw me expressed appreciation ... it felt really nice, I won't lie. Just ... to do something small for others like this. And I've been noticing that whenever I reach out and try to help or comfort or offer something to someone else, it makes me feel a bit better.
I think sending out tree messages yesterday had a similar effect, and helping the kiddos on Thursday with building gingerbread houses and making shakers for their sing-a-long. It's hard to put into words, but it feels like I'm finally coming out of the funk I've been in, and it's because I'm choosing to be kind in spite of everything I'm going through.
#I think it's fair to say 2024 was really hard on me ... but I'm glad I'm ending it on a strong note#we still have a ways to go before the new year‚ but I feel happier than I have in a long time#and I'm going to choose to be kind and positive rather than letting myself constantly stew in bitterness#I'll be doing my best to sort out this blog before the new year comes‚ but I won't try to do more than I can realistically do#also I wanted to say thank you to you guys‚ again /gen#I haven't been the most active here but it means a lot that you're all still here#I'm very slowly allowing myself to enjoy things again and express the same passion I did in the past#so hopefully I'll seriously get back into posting about my ships and Project Moon stuff soon#I have many thoughts and opinions--as usual /lh#I also want to start replaying Linbus from the beginning ... I think it's time to take a crack at rewriting it with Sherry as a Sinner#I'm going to try and finish reading Red Chamber‚ first‚ though--because I think I want to liveblog things when I replay#just share it with you guys ... I want you to know why I love it and the characters so much--and also why I dislike certain characters#okay--this got long‚ but I do seriously feel a lot better#and the fact it's on RolEva anniversary too ... perhaps I will finally post about them again#scattered pages
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