#and we don't always see eye-to-eye on a lot of things

[moon-ttokki-x]

safe - skz x 9th member!reader

pairing: ot8!skz x 9th member!reader

summary: skz helps you out when you're struggling with burnout and bad habits.

genre: fluff, idol! au, very angsty, descriptions of eating disorders, destructive habits, mentions of blood, fainting, throwing up (nothing graphic), reader is struggling with lots of thoughts, fluffy ending. read at your own risk.

a/n: i felt like it was time to write something that hits a little closer to home... hopefully it helps some of you out. my dms are always open to talk if you need it, and if you ever feel like reader does, please know that things do get better <3 divider by @iluvrei

The lights are too bright.

You blink harshly, trying to clear your vision of tears. Glancing across, you check to see if the boys have noticed anything. They haven't, too focused on the video of the choreography. They're all dripping with sweat, hair mussed, brows furrowed in concentration, and so are you, but you just can't focus right.

Not even if you tried. Because you can't do anything right.

Minho hums and notes down a couple things before signalling to start the choreography again. You move into your position and place a hand on Jisung's shoulder as you all fan out. The music blasts and leaves high-pitched ringing noises in your ears as you dance.

A hollow pang thuds dully in your stomach but you ignore it, instead focusing on copying Hyunjin's moves and moving into the next part of the song. By this point, you've forgotten the choreography and you want nothing more than to just sit down.

Focus, Y/n. Ignore it.

But you can't, too focused on just staying upright and keeping up with the rest of the boys. Even Felix, who tends to get tired the easiest, is dancing at full power, his eyes fixed on the mirror, adjusting and executing with perfect precision. The sight of it makes you feel even more run down and your temples throb when you stand back up into position for the main chorus.

Your energy finally runs out halfway through the choreo and you simply drop to your knees, hitting them hard on the polished floor. A chorus of groans sound out as Jeongin jogs to the speaker to stop the music.

"Y/n," Hyunjin groans, hands on his knees. Sweat drips from his hair. "We were almost finished, now we have to start again-"

He's cut off as a panting Chan waves his hand dismissively. "Take a break, guys. You okay, Y/nnie?"

You nod tiredly and look down at the floor, trying hard not to cry. That awful sour feeling takes a firm hold on your jaw and you gulp, like there's something stuck in your throat. The rest of the boys pay you no mind, chattering and bickering as they take swigs from water bottles and flick sweat from their hair.

Concert practice has been more than tiring, to say the least. Despite the tiredness and fatigue hanging in the air, the boys seem reasonably cheerful; pushing through with smiles on their faces. But being the youngest member of Stray Kids, there's only so much you can take on before it gets too much. You don't remember the last time you slept for more than four hours or ate a proper meal.

So while the others begin to move back into position, you stay on your hands and knees on the floor, gasping for air and feeling that terrible hollow pang gnaw at the lining of your stomach. A headache settles firmly between your eyes and your vision blurs, and it takes all your strength to even breathe.

Don't cry, you tell yourself harshly.

By now, Chan is kneeling beside you, a hand on your back. He knows how hard you've been working, especially since you just joined the production side of things, and he whispers a few reassuring phrases before standing up and offering you a hand.

Your eyes follow him as he rises from the floor, and a sudden burst of irritation shoots through you like lightning. Swatting his hand away and then immediately feeling terrible and selfish for it, you stand and brush yourself off, walking away without a word.

Chan stares after you just as Felix walks up.

"Is she okay?" The younger boy whispers.

Chan shrugs, brows furrowing in concern. "I don't know, Lix. I think she's just stressed with all the concert preparation."

"I mean," Felix begins as the music starts to play again, "She is the youngest of us. Maybe it's getting too much for her, hyung."

Maybe, Chan thinks as he moves into his position, watching as you do the same.

.

The rest of the day is uneventful; you spend most of it running between photoshoots, vocal lessons, rehearsals, and dress fittings for the upcoming concerts. It's all a blur, and by the time you open the door to the Minsung dorm, you're exhausted.

Minho and Jisung are already back from practice, since you'd opted to stay longer to perfect the choreo. Your body had been against it but you pushed through anyway, and you're beginning to slightly regret it as you almost stumble while shutting the door behind yourself.

Minho is in the kitchen, chopping something up; Jisung is lounging on the couch, watching something on his phone. The air smells rich and meaty, and normally you'd sneak into the kitchen for a taste of whatever Minho is preparing, but the singular thought of it makes you feel tense and nauseous.

You opt to grab only a new bottle of water before heading to your room. Minho looks up in surprise; he had been preparing to fight off a nosy, hungry Y/n, but you walk straight past him without even a hello. You do the same to Jisung and shut your bedroom door quietly, sinking down against it without a word.

You feel terrible about ignoring them; after all, they're your friends, but you just don't have it in you today to talk. Or dance or sing, or do anything at all. Everything feels dull and grey save for the hot tears that begin to soak the damp, musky fabric of your shirt.

Deciding to shower, you pick yourself up from the floor after a while and move sluggishly to the bathroom. You scrub until your skin is red and tingling and pull harshly at your hair while brushing it out before slipping on the first clothes you see in the drawer; a hoodie and sweats, all black.

Collapsing onto your bed, you open your phone and immediately regret it; the blue glare makes your head throb so harshly that you have to fight to urge to lean over the bed and throw up. You cover your mouth just in case, though there isn't even anything in your stomach to warrant the action anyway. You take a weak swing of water as a remedy and collapse back into the pillows, feeling exhausted but not tired enough to sleep.

Your stomach rumbles and you think briefly about sneaking into the kitchen after Minho and Jisung have gone to sleep, but you hold yourself back and roll over, gritting your teeth. Someone knocks on the door.

"Y/nnie!" Jisung calls from the other side of the door. "Come and eat something."

You ignore him, hoping that he'll think you've fallen asleep. You check the time; it's definitely late enough for that to be true. You wait with bated breath until you hear footsteps walking away.

You stomach growls more insistently and you press a disapproving hand over it, quieting the pangs as you turn over to try and sleep.

You can go one more day.

.

The next morning, you wake up early and decide to head to practice before Minho and Jisung can keep you back and make you eat something. You know for sure they've noticed the change in your eating habits, so you take a plate and break up a piece of toast, sprinkling crumbs so it looks like you've eaten. You throw the bread into the bin and leave your plate on the table before leaving.

Opening the door to the dance studio, you notice Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Seungmin all up early too, rehearsing the choreo, messing about, or talking. Or, in Hyunjin's case, all three. You duck to the side and head to the opposite side of the room, as far away from Chan as possible.

Him being here isn't good; you know for sure, after how exhausted you were yesterday, he'll try and check in with you. And it wouldn't be hard for him to decipher what's been happening; the pale pallor of your face, the bones of your wrists more prominent than before, and of course the constant sluggishness, fatigue, and dizziness that you've forced yourself to endure for the past few days.

You busy yourself with unnecessarily reorganizing the items in your bag, trying to ignore how bright the lights are. It feels like a spotlight.

"Hi, Y/n."

You look up to see Jeongin standing next to you, smiling in a white shirt and basketball shorts. His hair is ruffled, and somewhere in the cold, dead depths of your hardly-beating heart, you realise it's because the boys have been messing it up with their constant affection of the maknae. The thought makes you feel nothing. You are numb.

You don't reply, instead giving him a curt nod and picking up your waterbottle. You walk and place it on the cabinets against the back wall just as the others filter into the room. Jeongin shrugs and decides to leave you alone, apparently unbothered by your lack of response. Maybe he thought you were just tired.

Good, you think grimly. I don't want him to notice, nor do I care if he does. Just leave me alone.

Your eyes flicker to Jisung and Minho as they move to put their belongings down. Jisung immediately goes off to mess with Felix, who is still sleepily waddling across the floorboards to Changbin. You look away, but not before your eyes catch Minho's. He locks his gaze with you and raises a pointed eyebrow, silently questioning.

You look away quickly, gritting your teeth so hard you swear you can taste blood. Your heart jerks and starts, sending a racing thud reverberating through the hollow shell of your body.

He knows. He knows. He knows.

You see him begin to move towards you in your peripheral and you exhale when Chan claps his hands, moving to start the practice. Despite how much your head hurts, and the fact that you can hardly see let alone dance, you're grateful for the interruption, and dedicate your entire focus to the choreography.

Minho eyes you during a slower part of the routine but you don't look at him. Or anyone. The most you do is glance at Seungmin to check if he's placed where he needs to be before you move past him to the middle. Your vision deteriorates and drowns into dizzy black spots with every movement, but you push on.

Your head pulses dully with an aching pain and there's simply no energy left in your body. You grit your teeth and keep going, trying to will strength from within.

I can last til the end of the choreo. Just a little longer-

You exhale sharply and suddenly then, as if you've been punched hard in the gut. Your vision clouds over completely and you briefly panic as you can't see anything, but you find your limbs still moving. The last thing you know before you pass out is the feeling of the cold, polished floor against your cheek, a dull thud against your head, and a panicked yell from one of the members.

You close your eyes.

.

"Y/n. Y/nnie, wake up..."

"Is she okay?"

"Did anyone see what happened?"

"Y/n!"

Groggily, you open your eyes, and immediately hiss from the glare of the bright white lights above you. You're lying on the floor, where you dizzily remember yourself falling. You try and weakly lift a hand to cover your eyes, until Chan's head and broad shoulders moves into view above you, blocking it completely.

You exhale a small sigh of relief, even though the swimming black dots in your vision are making it hard for you to see anything at all. Your head throbs even worse than before; you must have hit it before you fell and passed out.

Even through all of that, you can see the look on Chan's face; half concern, the other half an equal mix of affection and sternness. You can't do anything but let out a weak groan as someone kneels down next to you, pressing something cold to the back of your neck.

"Take it easy," you hear Changbin saying from above you. You feel a pair of strong arms lift you to a sitting position and the movement makes a swelling pang of dizziness shoot through your skull like hot lightning. You feel sick and feverish.

"Y/n," you hear Chan saying through the haze. "What happened?"

You can't hold back the tears from spilling down your cheeks, however dehydrated you are. They just keep coming and someone else wipes them away with a gentle brush of fingers.

This is your fault. You can't even keep up with them and now you're wasting their time by making them take care of you. Way to go, Y/n. Absolutely pathetic.

That same rush of irritation shoots through you again and you push Changbin's hands away from your shoulders. "Leave me alone."

He looks surprised but backs off anyway. Your vision clears momentarily and it's then that you notice all of the boys are standing around you, most of them in various stages of concern and confusion. You notice Felix tightly clutching Hyunjin's hand in worry, Jisung biting at his lip. Jeongin looks upset too, and even Seungmin has the decency to look mildly put out.

"Why aren't any of you dancing?" You say, confused.

"Because," Hyunjin puffs out dramatically, "One of our members decided to die in the middle of the choreography."

Ignoring the younger's comment, Chan places a gentle hand on your thigh. "Y/nnie, please talk to us. We're all worried. What happened?"

You scoff weakly and push Chan's hand away too, even though his warm, solid touch is comforting. He pulls back, looking mildly hurt, and you instantly kick yourself for it. It's Chan. Why did you have to go and do that?

"Nothing," you say. "I'm fine."

He lets out an exasperated groan and there are a few protests from the rest of the group. "Y/n, you literally collapsed on us. And you don't look well at all. Have you been sleeping lately?"

"Yes." Lie.

"Have you been pushing yourself too hard?"

"No." Lie.

"When was the last time you ate something?"

"This morning." Also a lie.

"We're not dumb, Y/n," Minho interrupts from where he's crouching near you. "I mean, we are sometimes, but we're not clueless, especially when it comes to you. Please let us in."

I can't.

"Okay," you whisper weakly, because you don't have the energy to argue. You feel so incredibly embarrassed and humiliated.

Chan sighs and hands you a bottle of water. You take a swig before putting it down.

"Practice is off, everyone," he says. "Let's regroup tomorrow. Good work."

"What are you doing?" You say on an exhale.

"Taking you home," he says firmly. "There's no way you're going to keep practicing after this. You need to rest and eat well for a while before you can join back in."

Your heart thuds hollowly in your chest. "But-"

"No buts. Please, Y/n. It's okay if you're not doing well, and we don't have to talk about it if you aren't ready, but we're not going to stand by and let you suffer like this, yeah?"

"Plus," Felix adds softly as he sits down next to you, "It's no fun when you're not around, so hurry and get better so you can join in again."

You look to Chan, defeated tears welling up in your eyes. You spot the slightest waver in his expression, but it remains firm and he helps you stand shakily to your feet without a word.

Minho walks over just as Jisung folds you into his arms, kissing the crown of your head.

"I'm sorry," you whimper to no one in particular.

"Shh, it's okay," Minho says, "Let's just get you back home and then you can rest, okay?"

You nod and let them lead you out the door.

.

The tangy fruitiness of the juice sends little bursts of flavour down your throat, and you sip a little more before placing the glass on your bedside table. You're looking out the window, though the curtains are drawn, and your hair is a mess, having slept ruffled against the pillow for around three hours now. The sun is beginning to set.

Jisung comes into the room, followed by Chan. You look towards them and sit a little higher up on the pillows as Jisung smooths a hand over your forehead.

"How are you feeling, Y/n?" Chan asks carefully as he sits on the bed.

"Better," you say quietly, even though certain thoughts still linger in the back of your mind.

"It's good that you slept a while," he continues. "Looked like you needed it."

"Yeah."

The room is silent for a while, and Jisung lies down next to you, his face pressed into your thigh. He lets out a muffled happy sound just as Minho comes into your room, holding a tray of soup.

He sets it down on the bedside table along with a banana, a glass of water, and a small packet of your favourite sweets before shamelessly flopping down onto the bed, making himself comfortable. Chan sighs before his hand reaches out to cover yours, which is picking at the blanket.

"Y/n," he says softly. "It's okay if you're struggling."

You shake your head, though what you're disagreeing with, you're not sure.

"It's okay," Chan says again. "It can be a lot, I know. And it's completely alright if you just need to take a break, yeah? That's allowed. But please don't punish yourself for it. You do so well and work so hard, and I know it feels wrong when you don't shine as much as you want to."

You stay silent, the sorrow beginning to weigh down on you again.

"Y/nnie," Chan says gently. "You can talk to us, okay? If you're struggling to take care of yourself, or if it's all just getting too much, come to us. We're all in the same boat."

"More like stuck with us in the same boat," Minho snickers from his position on top of Jisung.

Chan slaps the boy's thigh without taking his gaze off you. Ignoring Minho's whine of pain, he leans forward and brushes a strand of hair out of your face. The simple gesture is so gentle and reassuring that tears well up in your eyes again, and you thank your stars that Jisung has plenty of electrolyte drinks in the kitchen because of how dehydrated you're becoming because of the crying.

"I'm sorry," you whisper.

"It's okay, Y/n," Jisung hums from your thigh. "We all have bad days."

"Just please, please come to us if you're not doing well, okay?" Chan says. "We all love you very much, and none of us want you to be struggling alone."

As if the universe has magically decided to prove his point, the door flies open and Hyunjin and Seungmin crash onto the floor, followed by a giggling Jeongin and Felix. Changbin stands disapprovingly behind them.

Chan presses two fingers to the bridge of his nose. "For goodness' sake."

But his words are drowned out by the mad scramble of the boys clambering onto your bed, heaping themselves on top of you in a mess of bickering, singing, and arguing.

Felix presses his cheek to yours. "I missed you."

You exhale a tiny laugh. "I wasn't even gone a day, Felix."

"I know," he replies earnestly. "But I missed you anyway. I wanted more than anything for you to be okay."

"Me too," Jeongin interrupts indignantly.

"Yeah, me too," Changbin adds matter-of-factly as he makes himself comfy on top of a squashed Hyunjin.

"Say you wanted her to be okay too, Seungmin!" Jisung pokes him hard in the ribs.

All you get in response is a begrudging nod and it makes the rest of the group burst out into laughter. Even Chan can't fight a fond smile.

And even if you're not doing well at the moment, you know in that moment that the rest of the members will always be there to fall back on, and the thought makes you relax, finally, your mind quieting and replacing the hollow feeling in your heart with a solid, steady warmth.

You are safe.

a/n: this was was longer than i anticipated

[eunoiathewriter]

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 — Choi Su-bong (Thanos)

Sypnosis: Su-bong had always known who she was. For years they had been in the same class. Yet, it's not until now that he has started feeling like this. Like he's being pulled towards her. (Or, part 1 of headcanons about classmate Thanos falling for a girl in his class).

Warnings: Parental neglect, strict parents, mentions of abuse, smoking. Reader is referred to as a girl. Probably OOC, but this is about a part of his life we don't know anything about, so i can make stuff up either way.

Word Count: 10.1k

A/N: Since i promised to tag you @ivonhart

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had been in the same class as you since elementary school. Through all the years, he had the same role as class clown and often threw out jokes in the middle of class. Often getting reprimanded by teachers. Yet he was a favourite among his classmates and fellow younger students, though not really by the older ones.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who found school often to be something he disliked due to never really understanding the way teachers explained things. But he would look at students like you and your two friends who could understand everything and get in a sour mood.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who only had brief interactions with you throughout all your years in the same class but still knew you were the smartest in class.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who absolutely loathed whenever they did peer reviews in class. Usually he never wrote down any comments on his classmates works, knowing they always did a lot better than him anyway. So when he was handed a paper, he sighed heavily.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who overheard that you got his essay to review, and internally he cringed at this. Knowing what he had written and that it probably was not up to par with what such an academic student as you could write. Had anyone else gotten his essay, there would not be many notes, as most of them only verbally said if something was good or okay or even bad. But not you.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who forgot all about the essay he should be reading and the whole time kept his eyes trained on you. Watching your eyes move across his paper with a form of calmness, occasionally jotting down small comments on his paper that he wished to see immediately. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who averted his eyes from you when the teacher said to give the essay back to whoever you were reviewing. He grumbled a small "It was fine" to his friend Min-ki while handing his essay back. Just as he handed it over, though, he heard his name get called and turned only to be faced with you.

"Hey, here you go." You held out his essay for him to take, a small smile on your lips. 

"Oh, thanks..." Su-Bong took the paper from your hand with a tight smile, expecting you to walk off. But you didn't.

"I liked your essay, by the way, Su-Bong. I never really knew all of that about rap. There's just a few notes, but overall, it was great." 

"Thank you." He thanked not being able to withstand sitting up a little bit more from his slumped-over position. You gave a little nod and another smile before turning. Ha-eun, who stood behind you, handed yours back.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who frowned and looked through his three-page essay and the few notes you had jotted down for him. They were simple ones, only asking to explain a little further on one thing and a few small grammatical errors. Who knew getting to write an essay about something he liked would make him write a good one?

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who went home that day to his mess of a family and for once did not feel stupid after a long school day. Fixing the parts in his essay recommended by you so he could turn it in the next day to the teacher. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who was surprised when the teacher handed back the essays and patted him on the back for "stepping up". Seeing him get a score higher than he had gotten in a long time, especially in a subject that was not music.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who got stopped in the hallway by you after school as you asked him how it went with the essay. When he told how well he'd done and thanked you for the advice you'd given him, all you could do was shrug and say it was nothing. But it was something to Su-Bong.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who asked you then and there if you'd be open to helping him with schoolwork, to tutor him as his friends had said you were good at such things. And because his current one was shit. Getting a bright smile and nod as an answer made him raise his brows.

"You can?" He asked, a bit stunned.

"Of course," you nodded. "I'm more than happy to help."

"Are you free on Thursdays after school?" When he asked that, the way you smiled and your brows furrowed a little almost told him it was a stupid question. You were known to stay late and study.

"Mhm, just meet me in the classroom after school. I stay late often anyway."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who unconsciously then began to watch you more, not in a creepy way, but when he saw you, his eyes would linger on you for a moment. If you were in the classroom with friends and he walked past, his eyes would stay on you till he could no longer see you. When he heard your voice, his head would turn in the direction it came from, trying to locate where you were.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who enjoyed being tutored by you more than his old one. Unlike them, you adjusted the way you explained subjects to him. At first he had not understood a word you said, but after a bit of readjusting in your way of explaining, he slowly got the hang of it.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, whose eyes would flicker from the paper or book you were pointing to while explaining and back to you. His eyes would stay focused on you every time you checked his progress, the way you would mouth things that he could not hear and the way you would furrow your brows in concentration.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, despite getting to spend an hour or two extra with you every Thursday afternoon, could not find it in himself to strike up conversation outside of tutoring. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who would come to the classroom after school, having said his goodbyes to Min-ki and Dong-hyun as they left to get home, only to find you already in the classroom with your books out and earbuds in that connected to your MP3. He had no idea how you could do such long days in school.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who found himself actually improving after only three weeks of help from you, even earning himself more claps on the back from teachers. Even his parents took notice, getting to hear directly from his homeroom teacher of the change in his grades and quality of work as of late. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who never claimed to Min-ki and Dong-hyun that he had suddenly become an academic weapon when they pointed out their grades on the exam were still better than his. He had only said that "Shit’s easier to understand. It's weird." Which made his friends only shrug their shoulders because grades never really mattered anyway for Su-bong. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had been bored out of his mind while wandering the school halls, waiting for you to come to tutor him, had become a drag after ten minutes passed. But the sound that came from the gymnasium quickly caught his attention as he moved closer and creaked the door open slightly before sneaking in behind the equipment to investigate the sound. Much to his surprise, it had been you. Playing your violin. All alone in the gymnasium. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who accidentally made some gym equipment fall as he tried to get a better look, which caused him to curse a bit loudly. Looking up from his fallen-over position with a sheepish smile as you had whipped around and faced him, letting out a sigh at the realisation it was just him. 

"What the— Su-bong?" Your voice came out confused when you saw him.

He sat up and rubbed his neck. "Uhm... surprise?" 

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Didn't know you were a musician. Are you hiding a band in here too?" He dodged the question while standing himself up, watching as you put the violin down.

"That doesn't exactly answer my question."

"Well, I was waiting for you to tutor me, but you ditched me. So, technically, this is all your fault."

"I didn't ditch you," you shook your head. "I told you yesterday that I would be fifteen minutes late."

"Yeah, but you didn't tell me why." He watched as you snapped the buckles to your case shut. "Had I known, I'd have been here much sooner."

"Why?" You could not help but ask with a slight laugh. When your eyes met his with an expectant look, he averted them and tried acting nonchalant.

"Obviously to listen." He shrugged, turning away slightly before speaking again. "You're really good, by the way."

"Oh, I—thank you. But you can't just come spying on me."

"I wasn't spying. I was... appreciating. There's a difference. You're smart, so you should know that."

You chuckled at him, also not missing the flattery that he surely thought would get him out of tutoring. "You're not getting out of tutoring, you know."

"Man, seriously?”

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who was relieved that summer had come and that he would finally get a well-deserved break from school. While walking out of school with his friends, spotting you with your friends. Nodding his head at you when you shot him a smile, a way to tell you to have a good summer.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had in the beginning hoped that his summer break would at least not include sitting at home. Yet, it did. Neither of his mother or father being able to stay home or take him anywhere during the long break. He could not even hang out with Min-ki and Dong-hyun, who were out of Seoul for the entire summer.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who spent the first week of summer break lounging on his couch, watching TV, and eating whatever junk he wanted. Only getting minimal texts from the guys who were busy spending time with their families.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, after spending a whole week inside, decided he would go out and see if anything would inspire him. But it ended up only being him walking outside in the summer heat with earbuds in as they blasted his newly downloaded music. Rap, to be specific.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who weaved his way between people in the market, giving nasty glares towards guys younger than him who bumped his shoulder. Trying to find where that place that sold his favourite food was now again turned out to be a bigger hassle with so many people lingering around the marketplace.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who stopped in his tracks and had to backtrack a few steps with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows at spotting your familiar face among the crowd. Standing by your bicycle while paying for some groceries. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who could not help but make his way over, hands in his pockets, as he called your name and got your attention. Your face displayed surprise upon seeing him, having thought he would have been with Min-ki and Dong-hyun all summer.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who were surprised, although he did not let it show, to find out your friends Soo-min and Ha-eun were also gone for the whole summer. This has left both of you all alone and without friends to hang out with.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who asks to join in on your shopping round, claiming he has nothing better to do. Which he really didn't. Occasionally, he would poke fun at your seriousness when it came to choosing the right fruits. His joking around would only bring a small smile onto your lips as the two of you walked through the market stand by stand. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who insisted on walking with you to your neighbourhood, stealing glances at you every now and then. For some strange reason, he also felt strangely at ease with you, enjoying that you were so easy to crack a joke to. Every time, he earned either a small laugh or a small smile pulling at your lips.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who only reached the edge of your neighbourhood before you stopped him, saying that you could take it all from here. He watched you almost get onto the bike to cycle the last bit but was able to stop you before you were off.

"You know, we should hang out sometime." He said it as casually as he could, hands in his pockets while shrugging.

"Hang out?" You echoed, brows raised a bit. 

"Yeah. I mean, we get along, right? And besides, neither of us really has anything to do either way. So why not keep each other company?"

"I—uh. Hmm." You did not really know what to say.

"Beats sitting inside, bored, all summer." 

"I don't know, Su-bong. My parents are sort of strict about who I meet outside of school. Soo-min and Ha-eun are really the only ones they agree to."

Su-bong clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "Come on, (Name). You're smart—I'm sure you can come up with a simple lie."

"If my parents find out, I will be grounded till I'm married." 

"I'm sure you can bat your lashes and come up with something to cover our asses. Or what, do you want to spend all summer alone and doing nothing?"

You sighed and thought about it before answering. "Fine. But my parents really cannot know about this."

"That's the spirit!" Su-bong nudged your arm slightly. "You got my number?"

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who walked home that day with your number in his mobile phone. Part of him began to wonder what lies you would tell your parents to be allowed to leave the house without having them hunting you down.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who later that night messaged you and asked if you would be free the next day. Only minutes later did he get an answer that you had nothing planned and a question of where to meet. Quickly, he sent back a place, a bit further from your home as he now understood you not wanting him in your neighbourhood, and a time that would at least let him sleep in.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who met up with you the next day five minutes late and could not help but poke fun at your obvious nervousness. Commenting on how you really had to relax a little, also pointing out that the only reason your parents would ever find out about this all was if you ever slipped up with whatever lies you made up. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who got surprised an hour or so into the two of you going around town, seeing how you began to loosen up. You were no longer looking around like a child hiding while eating sweets they weren't allowed. The tension in your shoulders left, and instead of just rolling your eyes at his remarks, you shot some back.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who went home after hanging out that first day, found himself having enjoyed it a lot more than he originally thought. It was different from when he hung out with Min-ki and Dong-hyun. Sure, they knew him well and had been friends with him since kindergarten, but still.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, after three days of hanging out, asked you if the two of you could please take your bike instead of walking. Because of his insistence, you said yes, much to his delight, but that also meant he had to sit on your bike carrier. This led to some arguing as you wobbled a little in the beginning, but when you sternly told him to just sit still and shut up, Su-bong was in no way about to test you and only answered with a slight smirk, "Yes, ma'am."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who would fill the silence between the two of you with anything rap-related. You had always known he liked rap and did it himself; he was not shy to ever announce it to the whole class. Surprisingly enough, you ended up learning a lot about the genre you had never indulged in.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who gets pulled along to your favourite bookshop one day and just trails behind you as you point out ones that you desperately wanted to read. He did not understand your love for words on pages, but he did not exactly complain because at least he had someone to spend the summer with. But he would furrow his brows questioningly when you left the bookshop without even buying a single one of the twenty-something books you had pointed out.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who realised you were not just an incredibly study-focused person, but actually someone who had never really gotten to do just whatever.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, after a whole week of hanging out, found himself enjoying your company more than he thought he would.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who dragged you along to the best arcade in town where he spent the majority of his money insisting he could win a prize from the claw machine. Finally, you stepped in and won the prize on your first try, leaving the boy to gape at you before jokingly calling you a "witch."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who focused on beating his own record at his favourite game while you stand off to the side, almost yelling at him to listen to your advice. When he does as you suggest and he wins, both of you high-five at the win.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who you pulled along to a part of the city where there was a whole neighbourhood with abandoned buildings filled with graffiti. The two of you find one that gives the best view of the city skyline, and from then on, when neither of you knew what to do, that was your place to go. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who did not call or message with Min-ki and Dong-hyun as much only three and a half weeks into summer break. The majority of his calls were instead to you, sometimes even calling when your parents were home. 

"Come on, ditch violin practice and come keep me company. I'm dying over here." His comment made you roll your eyes, as if he could see from the other side of the phone.

"Hm, no thank you. I don't feel like being strung up by my toes today!" You shot back at him, causing him to groan.

"And here I was thinking we were making progress." 

"Who is it you're talking to, (Name)?" Your mother suddenly glanced into your room as you sat on the bed.

"Just Ha-eun." You answered smoothly. The choked sounds on the other side of the phone and snickering made you want to smack him in the head.

"Oh, well, tell her I said hi!" Your mother smiled a little before retracting down the hallway.

"Dude," Su-bong lost it, laughter a bit muffled. "You didn't even hesitate. That was so smooth—look at you becoming a pro at lying!" 

You sighed and rubbed your face, but the smile still pulled at your lips. "Shut up." 

"No, I'm like actually impressed. Should I be worried?"

"For me to hang up? Yes."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who found himself thinking about you more often than he liked. His mind often went to think about what he had said, your reaction to it, what you would be doing the next day, and anything that had to do with you.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, after almost four weeks of hanging out, slung an arm over your shoulder to prepare for his proposition. Dragging out a "So..." while you gave him a side glance, awaiting whatever dumb idea he had now gotten to come out. When you told him to just tell you, he did as he was told.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who awaited your big blow-up, as you for the moment just stood and stared at him, blinking occasionally, as if he had just suggested the two of you go and steal from the local bank. Especially when all he had suggested was for you to sneak out one night. "Everything's more fun at night," he had claimed.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, instead of getting a full-on lecture, got a question of what the two of you would even do. This made a sly grin spread on his face as it sounded like you were not completely opposed to the whole idea. Was he a bad influence on you?

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who made out an intricate plan on how you were to sneak out. Both of you came to the conclusion that the upcoming Friday night would be perfect because your parents went to bed slightly earlier. Hours before your parents would come home, you for once showed Su-bong exactly where your apartment was and painted out your window (that was on the first floor, only two meters above the ground). 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who that Friday, at your decided time, waited on the grass below your window as you opened your window and tossed down your jacket for him to catch. Once you had jumped down and stood up, he could not help but make a single comment.

"Not bad for a first escape." Su-bong said with a smirk while handing you your jacket.

"Yeah, you're such a bad influence." You shot back sarcastically, already moving towards your bike by the bike stand and unlocking it. 

"I'm honoured you think so!" 

You shook your head, pulling out your bike and getting ready to go. But you could not help the growing smile, having grown quite fond of the boy's antics. "Just get on, idiot." 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had directed you to a 24-hour convenience store. He jumped off before you parked your bike off to the side and locked it. When you gave him a raised brow, he told you that he was "paying back" for all the free rides you had given him.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who followed you inside and had a hard time keeping up with your speed as you went from shelf to shelf and grabbed your favourite things. It ended up being more than he thought, but at the same time, you had been pedalling around with him on the back of your bike for four weeks, so it was really nothing.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who sat on the curb of the convenience store with you, looking at all the people going in and out and watching the star-filled sky. When a group of drunk university students walked past and two ended up toppling over each other, you and Su-bong could not keep from laughing.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who later that night, when the two of you were quietly sitting on the roof of the abandoned building, pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Taking one and placing it between his lips, out the corner of his eye he could see you looking at him. Without saying a word, he held out the pack to you, not expecting you to take one, but you did.

"Something wrong?" You asked while taking the lighter from Su-bong's hand, fingers brushing against his as he took an inhale.

"Since when do you smoke?" Smoke left his mouth as he asked that question.

"I don't do it often if that's what you think." You let out a breathy laugh, lighting the cigarette.

All you got was a dumbfounded face in response, like this was the biggest revelation in his whole life. So you explained further. "My dad smokes; I've taken some of his every now and then. He doesn't notice."

"For real?" Su-bong asked and earned a nod in response. Then it was as if he deflated a bit. "Damn. And I thought I would be a bad influence."

"Sorry to burst your bubble. My dad has a bit more influence than you."

"Wait a moment..." He sat up, exhaling the smoke in his mouth while looking at you with narrowed eyes. "Do Soo-min and Ha-eun know their angel of a friend smokes?"

"First of all, no, they don't. And second of all, angel?"

"What? It fits you, angel."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who that night helped you back up into your room through the window, having to give you a little extra push. Once you were inside and leaned out the window to wave bye to him, he could not help but notice the rather large smile on your face.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who learnt that you were not just smiles, politeness, and intelligence in the form of a human, but you had attitude and humour. It was a huge contrast to the polite and respectful girl who would sit in class and do her work. You did not shy away from a witty comment.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who later the next week after spending the day at the arcade, casually mentioned doing something later that same night. He had fully been expecting you to say it had been a one-time thing, but instead, as you grabbed your bike, he got an "I'm in" from you.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had not in the beginning of the summer expected to hang out with you every day, and now, also, some nights. It was almost as if he had forgotten about Dong-hyun and Min-ki.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who you would run around town with any time of the day, as long as your parents had no idea what you were doing. The adventures consisted of frequent visits to the 24-hour convenience store, urban exploration, bike rides around the closer neighbourhoods, sharing a cigarette or two, or even going around stores in town along with everyone else participating in Seoul's nightlife.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who would sit outside your violin lessons in the summer and listen to you replaying the same passage over and over till it would be perfect. He had no idea why the old woman who was your teacher had to be so loud about your mistakes, like screaming about it would help you in any way. It made him pull a face of disdain for the woman he had never met.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who would sometimes sneak inside the big theatre when you had lessons just to hide behind the chairs to listen to you better. The few times you had caught him out of the corner of your eye, he would give you a thumbs up as a silent way to say you were doing great. His goofy face and thumbs up would make you have to hold back a laugh while playing, causing your teacher to stop to ask what was so funny.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who you would laugh with after your lesson about the old woman's overdramatic reaction to a single smile. This would then lead to you complaining about the woman as Su-bong sat at the back of your bike and made comments that furthered your laughter.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who for some reason, after that first successful sneak out, began calling you angel. It would often leave you rolling your eyes at him, telling him to quit it, but the heat rising to your cheeks said otherwise. Su-bong could not understand the issue, just shrugging and enjoying the reactions out of you while continuing to call you angel. Instead of your name, angel was what he called you.

"Oi, angel! Over here!" 

"Yo, slow down! The hell? Are you trying to ditch me, angel?"

"Where you at? You're still at home? Hurry up, angel, I'm bored as hell out here!"

"What? You want me to start calling you '(Name)' like some stranger? No way, angel."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who found your reactions priceless, either the roll of your eyes with a small smile or a swift smack to the back of his head. No matter what, he loved them all. Because at least you were paying attention to him in some way. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who you noticed had almost no sense of personal space. It was nothing weird; it was just as though you, after only a few weeks, had reached the same level of friendship he had with Dong-hyun and Min-ki. There would be an arm around your shoulder at random times when walking, when you played an arcade game he would be looming right by your shoulder while poking you whenever you were close to winning, his hands would land on your shoulders whenever you agreed to yet another late-night hangout, and he would find himself grabbing the back of your shirt when the two of you navigated through crowds.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who sometimes in crowds just had his brain go blank, which made you tell him to just hold onto your bag's shoulder strap. It had once or twice happened that he just walked into a pole in the middle of the street, so you were just being cautious.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who still watched you closely, whenever he said something, was awaiting a reaction from you.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who one day suggested you both spend the day at his house. When you walked inside, you could not help but let your eyes go wide at the scale of everything; it was so much bigger than your family's apartment. They even had those fancy fridges with ice and water dispensers. The Choi family was truly rich.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who shrugged about his home, because for him it was a cold and boring one. There was no life, no baby photos of him or old photos of his parents, just two pictures of him and his parents. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who let you roam about his room and find whatever you wanted to entertain yourself, and in your case that had been his Nintendo. He was seated by his computer, downloading music onto his newest MP3. You had found yourself comfy at the foot of his bed while you played the game that had been in his Nintendo.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who immediately sat up from his relaxed position at the slam of the front door. You jumped at the loud sound, not used to such things. Glancing over at the boy, he was already on his feet, cursing under his breath.

"Fuck," Su-bong muttered as he heard the clattering of keys against wood. "My dad's home. Fuck. Come on, angel." 

He ushered you to get up, and you did so, not even arguing about the nickname. "What? What's going on?"

At first he did not answer and only grabbed your wrist lightly, cursing under his breath while trying to gently guide you towards his closet. When you put a hand on top of his on your wrist was when he turned to you, meeting your eyes. "Su-bong."

He stared at you for a second, hearing the steps that seemed to move towards the stairs. Su-bong then sighed. 

"My dad is not like your parents. He doesn't give a single shit about boundaries. If he sees you here, even if he doesn’t know you, he'll start talking shit to you and about you—" He cut himself off with a sigh, hearing the footsteps moving up the stairs. "Look, you don't need to experience him. Just hide—please."

Without another word, you just nodded. Su-bong quickly opened his closet for you to get inside before closing it. With ease he moved and dropped down onto his bed, just as the footsteps up the stairs moved towards his room. He grabbed the Nintendo on his bed and began fiddling with it.

No knock or form of signal that his father was going to come inside was given, the door only opening and revealing him. Su-bong glanced up at him before speaking. "You're home early,"

"And you're still wasting your time here." His father spoke with a grunt. “Did you do anything besides sit here like a bum all day?”

Su-bong stared at his dad for a minute before looking down at the Nintendo in his hands, shaking his head. “Nope. Pretty much perfected the art of breathing, though.”

“You know what, forget it.” His dad let out a sharp breath, waving his hand while pushing the door to Su-bong's room closed again. 

The boy sat for a moment, listening intently to the sound of footsteps descending downstairs once again. Letting out a sigh, he turned towards the closet. “Coast's clear, angel.”

Cracking the closet door open and easily slipping out, your eyes flickered towards the door before moving back to Su-bong on the bed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He nodded, eyes moving all over the place until he looked at her and stood up. “Come on, let's go out instead.”

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had expected you to ask so many more questions after that day, but instead it was as though you had a silent understanding for his situation.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who one late night suddenly placed his hands on your waist while you were pedalling towards the abandoned buildings on the outskirts of Seoul. The sudden feeling made only your eyes glance down, as to not alert the boy behind you in any way. After a moment, you looked up as you shrugged it all off and let his hands stay there. It is a better way to keep himself stable and make your work easier either way.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had only felt how you tensed up a bit at the sudden contact, but as quickly as it had happened, you relaxed and focused back on the directions. He could not help the growing smirk on his face. If you had seen it, you would have asked what was funny or even smacked the back of his head for being "weird." But you could not see it.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who always knew you had a small digital camera with you wherever you went. Upon seeing something you deemed beautiful, you would click a photo of it. As of late, you had taken quite a few photos with your camera and sometimes made Su-bong wonder if there was something you did not label as beautiful.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who once stole your camera from where it was lying on the ground and turned it so the lens was turned towards him and snapped about seven or eight photos of himself. Swiftly, he then put the camera down as if it had always lain there untouched. You did not end up finding out until three days later when you went to print out some photos for your wall. You had to cover your mouth to not attract attention in the small store as you looked at the photos, also a bit surprised he got himself somewhat in frame. Su-bong did hear from you later that day about it, but he did not know you had actually not been able to resist printing three of them.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had never been in your family's apartment during the whole summer. As you put it, your neighbours, an elderly couple who had known you and your parents for many years, would more than likely tell your parents that a boy had been with you. But he did not blame you; this whole hanging-out idea was his to begin with.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who one night found himself wandering around your neighbourhood alone, escaping the hellhole of home his parents made it when they both were home at once. Glancing down the familiar road, he pulled out his phone, starting to type a quick message while walking down it. Once he spotted the window he was looking for, he saw a lamp had to be on even if the light curtains were drawn. With that, he sent the message. "Look outside."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who only seconds later watched as the curtains were opened and you looked out your window. A minute later your window was open, and you looked down at him.

"What the hell are you doing here? It's past midnight!" You whispered harshly down to the boy. He could not keep from smirking.

"I missed you, angel. Can I come up?" 

You shook your head but leaned out a little further in the window, gently clapping your hands as a signal for him to throw up his backpack. Su-bong did so, and you caught it with ease, pulling it through the window and placing it on your floor. "You're insane." 

When you pulled back into your room, swiftly moving to lock your door, it did not take more than two minutes before Su-bong's head peeked inside your window. You walked over, holding out a hand to help him inside with as little noise as possible. 

Climbing in through your window, he took a quick glance around your room. It was small but in a cosy way. Quietly he stepped down into your room, stumbling a little, from the window, and felt you loosen your grip on his hand, so he let go.

"You're lucky my parents are sleeping. They will kill me if they hear you." You said in a low voice while closing the window and drawing your curtains again. 

"Relax. I'm like a ninja." Su-bong joked, but the usual edge to it was missing. 

"You're a walking disaster." You turned around and faced him. "Seriously though, Su-bong, what are you doing here?"

There was nothing accusatory in your tone, so he shrugged while looking around, eyeing the music sheet on your desk. He then shrugged before answering. "Just didn't feel like being home. Can I stay?"

"I—..." You cut yourself off, your face turning with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll just hang out here; you can do whatever you were doing." 

You just stared at him. 

"I'll be quiet. Promise."

A small smile pulled on your lips as you watched him look over the books on your bookshelf. "Sure. But if my parents hear you, I'll tell them you broke in.”

"Fair game, angel." Su-bong nodded and gave a light chuckle at your comment; his teasing smirk then returned. "So, this is where the magic happens.

"Oh, shut up!"

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who made himself comfortable on your bed with his Nintendo and MP3 player as you continued to look over some things for your next violin lesson. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who in a quiet voice made a comment about Soo-min and Ha-eun really having a whole wall that was almost explicitly containing photos of them and you. For the fun of it, he teasingly asked what he needed to do to end up on that wall. In response, all he got from you was "To stop annoying me." That would be impossible.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who you sternly told he should not sleep on the floor, but that he also had to keep to his own side of the bed if he did not want to get kicked out. Little did either of you know that both of you experienced an increase in heartbeats.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who a few days later repaid you for risking getting caught and allowing him to stay over with the typical convenience store snacks you liked. But you seemingly made no big deal out of it all.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who noticed you no longer just took photos of the landscape but had caught you snapping a few of him too. At times he would grab it from you and insist on taking one together, to which you did not say no. While these photos could not make their way on your wall without your parents questioning it, you still printed them and kept them in your desk. They laid with your favourite photos of you, Soo-min, and Ha-eun. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who noticed that you no longer would have a reaction whenever he called you angel. You went from telling him to stop it to not even blinking at the use of the nickname. At times, though, you would smile a little at the use of it, which Su-bong could not help but notice.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who was completely and utterly baffled to learn that you had never really listened to rap before, even if you would let him ramble on about it as if you understood. When you admitted this to him, he went wide-eyed, yelling out a loud "What?" while staring at you. This led to a long interrogation by Su-bong to figure out how you had never listened to the genre.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who made it his own mission to indoctrinate you into rap. It began with playing music from his MP3 player, watching you like a hawk for any sign that you liked the songs. When he would see your head moving the slightest to the beats, slowly bobbing your head along, he would nudge your shoulder while saying that you were finally listening to "real" music. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who started to, without your knowledge, download rap on a new MP3 player he'd bought. It was songs he considered the standard, basic but still good songs. All so you could somehow get into the genre even more on your own. When he was done for the night, he sat back and answered a message from Min-ki, only to then completely question his actions.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who felt like he was going through an existential crisis when it finally hit him that all he had been doing as of late was not something he'd even do for Min-ki or Dong-hyun. It all hit him like bricks being thrown in his face.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who now could explain why he felt like he gained something from hearing you laugh at his jokes. He now has his explanation as to why he wants you to listen to this music so much. He had to sit down on his bed and put his head in his hands, saying a single thing to himself, "Oh, fuck me." 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who went to sleep that night still in complete shock at this new revelation. How did he, of all people, find himself having feelings for a girl who less than a year ago he would not even know a single thing about?

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who the next day had the MP3 player in his back pocket the whole time you and he hung out. He was acting the same as always, jokes flying out left and right and endless teasing that made you simply shake your head. Whenever there was a silence that stretched for longer than a minute, he contemplated just handing you the MP3 player. He could just say it was one of his old ones and claim it was since you seemingly liked rap so much. But he put it off.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had just jumped off your bike as you slowed down to get off when you said you and your parents were going away the last five days of summer break, which was next week.

"Angel... no." He spoke as if you had just betrayed him in the worst way possible. You could not help but crack a sheepish smile at his antics.

"It's just for five days—" You went to explain, but his mouth went wider and immediately interrupted you.

"Five days? First Min-ki, then Dong-hyun, and now you? You're all ditching me. Do you want me to go crazy and start talking to myself?" He walked closer to you, trying to stay serious, but when you began laughing lightly, he could not help but crack a smile. 

He was playing around; of course he would not die without you for five days. But he had taken notice that you, unlike many others, did not find his overdramatic joking annoying but endearing. 

"You already talk to yourself." You pointed out to him with a small smile.

"That's besides the point,"

"I will have my phone. We'll still be able to talk."

"Hm," Su-bong hummed, agreeing that did work. His hands slipped inside his pockets, his right hand gracing the MP3 player still in his pockets. 

You shook your head, grabbing the handles of your bikes and beginning to walk the short way to your home. He quickly caught up, an arm finding its way over your shoulder. He could not help but like that you did not pull away from him, letting him hook his arm around you.

"Alright, angel. Since you're ditching me, you owe me—we hang out every day until you leave. No excuses."

"Sure." You shook your head at him. "Damn drama queen."

"Hey!"

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who later the next week, after having hung out every day without any excuses like you agreed to, still had the MP3 player in his back pocket. He found himself taking it out of his pocket when getting home every day and fiddling with it, like trying to think of when the perfect time to give it to you would be.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who the night before you were going away insisted the two of you go to the abandoned rooftop. Once there, he lit himself a cigarette as the two of you talked and joked about anything you could think about.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who raised his brows when you got a call from Soo-min as the two of you were talking. You answered without hesitation, and from how you were talking, he could tell you had not told her either about the two of you hanging out. A mischievous expression took over his face as he stepped on the cigarette.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who out of nowhere grabbed your wrist and yanked the phone towards himself so he could yell out a hello to Soo-min on the other line. You swiftly smacked him in the head with your hand as he laughed when hearing Soo-min's confused voice. You had rushed out a goodbye before turning and, while laughing, telling him it was not funny. But still, the thought of how Soo-min's face must have looked kept you both laughing for longer than it should have.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who later, when you were both walking back home, pulled out the MP3 player and handed it to you. At your confused face, he explained it had some good songs on it, just to get you started on rap. Jokingly he said you would now have something good to listen to during your almost three-hour car ride the next day.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who made up the excuse that the MP3 player was one of his old ones that he no longer used when you thanked him but said you could not take it. He turned away, hands in his pockets after so you could not see his face, all while shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing special. You did not say that you knew he was lying; the MP3 player looked way too new. But it made your heart swell.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who the next day, for once during the whole summer, could not simply shoot you a text or even call to ask what you were up to because he already knew. You were in a car on your way to your grandparents. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who spent that first day more bored than he remembered himself being that first week of summer break. The majority of the time he spent in his room, playing games and only walking downstairs once that night when his parents were home to take up some food for himself.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who the next day went out on his own, having talked to Dong-hyun, who were going to come back the next day, late, when it was only two days until school started again. He found himself visiting all the places that you and he would go to.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who headed for the convenience store around 11 pm, the same one you and he visited, picking out some snacks and a drink for himself. When paying, the same guy that usually worked was there. The worker glanced around the aisles while scanning everything Su-bong had picked up. 

"Where's that girlfriend of yours?" The worker, a twenty-something old guy, spoke suddenly and with a hint of curiosity. 

Su-bong, who had his earbuds in and music from his MP3 player loudly playing in his ears, did not fully hear what the guy had said. He pulled the earbuds from his ears by the cable and furrowed his brows in confusion. "Huh?"

"The girl you're always here with." The worker cleared up, then let out a slight laugh before speaking again. "What, she finally ditched you?"

"She didn't ditch me, man. She's out of town." Su-bong spoke with a hint of annoyance, having hoped it would've been a quick in-and-out of the store.

"So, she is your girlfriend."

"Mind your own business."

"Damn, touchy." The worker smirked. "Thought you'd just say no."

Su-bong grabbed the cash from his pocket and unceremoniously slammed it onto the counter, startling the guy a little. He then snatched back his soda and snacks.

"Maybe I just don't like nosy cashiers who talk too much."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, once he was outside, sat himself down on the curb and popped open the bag of snacks just as his phone began buzzing. While chewing on a chip, he picked it up with furrowed brows, but when seeing your name on the small screen, he did not hesitate to answer it. 

"Well, well, would you look at that—one might actually think you are missing me, angel."

There was a pause before you scoffed lightly on the other side of the phone. "Don't flatter yourself."

"Too late," he answered. "You've been gone less than two days, and now you are calling me first? I'm basically a priority at this point."

"You are so full of yourself."

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who talked with you for almost an hour that night, getting to know all you'd done while away. He liked it, sitting and listening to you explain the things you had done with your family ever since getting to your grandparents. While talking to you, he slowly began making his way home, occasionally taking a sip or two of his soda. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who spent the whole day after all on his own. But he at least figured out what to do besides being outside. The majority of it consisted of him playing games and listening to music, going out to have a cigarette once. But later that night, he not only got a call from you but also a message from Dong-hyun that he was back and wanted to meet up the next day.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who even if Dong-hyun came back and they hung out the last two days of summer break, got a few texts here and there from you, as if updating him on the strangest things you could think of. But he still appreciated that you still wanted to talk, seemingly having not grown tired of him yet.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who only shrugged and told Dong-hyun that his summer had been pretty uneventful. Su-bong vaguely told him that he kept himself busy while he and Min-ki were away. When Dong-hyun questioned this, saying that many of his calls had not been answered until late and that Min-ki had told him the same, as many of their mails had gone unannounced, all Su-bong did was shrug and repeat he had kept himself busy.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had to withstand Dong-hyun asking him repeatedly to actually tell him what he had been up to all summer. It was like he had become a walking headache to Su-bong; whenever he thought his friend was done asking, a new try at getting information from him was tried. Of course, Su-bong would not tell Dong-hyun and Min-ki—he respected you and did not want to have them running off and telling everyone in school on the first day, especially if you didn't want that.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who actually felt a bit bothered thinking about what would happen when school started again. He heavily disliked the thought of having to act like the two of you were not friends in school, too. With your parents, he understood, and he respected it heavily. Maybe if he did not feel the way he did for you, maybe if you were only a friend to him, it would not be such a bother. But you were not just a friend. No matter how he wanted to feel.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who were hanging out with Dong-hyun and Min-ki, who had just returned, the day before school started, felt his phone vibrate a little. When he picked it up and saw you had written that you were on your way home, he could not help but smile at knowing you would be back. It did not go unnoticed by his two friends; Dong-hyun immediately accused him of having a secret girlfriend, which made Min-ki raise his eyebrows in confusion.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who went to school the next day, was immediately swept up by Dong-hyun and Min-ki, along with some of the other guys in the same class. All of them were catching up outside before even walking inside school, seeing as there was a long time till they had to actually be in class.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who was deep in conversation with four other guys from your class when he spotted your familiar face. You were smiling as you slowed down your bike to park it, along with Soo-min and Ha-eun, who went to do the same. His eyes followed you as you hooked arms with Soo-min as Ha-eun was clearly telling the two of you something.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who got nudged by one of your classmates, Woo-jin, asking if he was even listening. He turned his eyes to the group of boys staring back at him, saying he zoned out, and they all shrugged, but the conversation continued nonetheless.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who caught your eye as you walked past the group of boys. Upon seeing him again, you shot him a smile and a small wave with your free hand that had not been hooked with Soo-min. When Su-bong noticed, he gave a slight smile and nod of acknowledgement. A part of him warmed upon seeing you again.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had to hear Dong-hyun, Min-ki, Woo-jin, and Ji-ho ask who that nod was for, as neither of them had seen your smile. Woo-jin and Ji-ho, both confused, got caught up by Min-ki and Dong-hyun about their speculation that Su-bong had spent the summer with someone.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who, once they reached their classroom, felt like he had hit the jackpot. This year he sat one row behind you, diagonally to your right, from what he saw on the seating chart drawn upon the board. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who sat down at his desk quietly at first, decided to sit and not speak with you if that was what you wanted, but his spirits were lifted when you spoke to him first. You had turned to him, mid-conversation with Hye-ran, smiling and saying hey.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who you struck up a conversation with immediately, ignoring the confused looks on Soo-min's and Ha-eun's faces. You and Su-bong had never spoken like this before the summer. Sure, they knew you had tutored him last semester, but the two of you did not talk like this. This was new. The way you leaned closer and told about what you did those five days away.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who had his conversation with you interrupted by Ha-eun, who finally asked since when you two were friends. Su-bong, who revelled in your slightly flustered expression, asked you to explain to your friends. He found it funny how when away from prying eyes, you were extremely calm, yet under the eyes of your best friends, you got flustered.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who sat back and listened as you, without much detail, explained how the two of you bumped into each other during the summer and hung out a few times. He wanted to laugh out loud—a few times was an understatement. It also amused him how you left out certain details, as if Soo-min and Ha-eun would lecture you about it. Dong-hyun and Min-ki both sat beside him and whispered about how this explained everything. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who got asked by Ha-eun and Soo-min if your parents knew the two of you had hung out, to which silence followed. The two girls had turned to you as if you had committed a crime for not telling them this. 

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who out of what had now become a habit, called you "angel" in front of both your and his friends. Your eyes had widened slightly while staring straight at Su-bong, who realised, but he could not help but pull an amused smile at your flustered face. The wide eyes from your friends that followed were as far as their shock could get, however, because just as they went to loudly ask their questions, the teacher entered the classroom.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who shrugged his shoulders at you when Ha-eun and Soo-min went to sit down, your eyes still on him. For the fun of it, before the teacher could speak, he whispered a quiet "Sorry, angel" to you. The people in front and behind the two of you heard, and your face heated up even more. Before turning to focus on the teacher, you shot Su-bong a pointed look, which earned a quiet laugh.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who prepared himself for you to lecture him after school, but did not expect what you did during lunch instead.

♬.ᐟ  CLASSMATE SU-BONG, who barely had stood up to join Min-ki and Dong-hyun before you had stood up and grabbed his arm, effectively pulling him out of the classroom before your friends could get their hands on you. Dong-hyun and Min-ki whistled at the two of you before laughing along with some other boy in the class who had overheard. Soo-min and Ha-eun tried to catch up to the two of you but failed.

"Where are we—" He had barely any chance to process where you had dragged him off to before a hand hit him over the head. "Ow!"

"What the hell were you thinking calling me that in front of everyone? The whole class, at that!" You asked as Su-bong rubbed the back of his head. He took a glance at you before giving a slight grin to you.

"What? It's not like I said anything bad. Didn't you say you didn't care about that anymore?" 

You stared at him for a moment, your face still hot from the embarrassment that had hit you when some of the boys whistled as you dragged Su-bong off. His grin made you narrow your eyes before swiftly giving him another whack.

"Ow! Calm down, woman!"

"I don't care. But you could have just let me tell Soo-min and Ha-eun properly before." You ignored his dramatics and crossed your arms. Still, your eyes softened when looking at him, but it went unnoticed by Su-bong, who started to speak.

"Well, you can’t blame me for being honest. It's not my fault you're—" Before he could get any further, he felt you gently wrap your arms over his shoulders in a quick but tight hug. 

"It's good to see you again." You said softly to him, causing his heart to beat a little faster. Then, as quickly as you had hugged him, you pulled away. The boy quickly recovered.

"Five days and you miss me that much, huh?" He speaks with a teasing tone, nudging you lightly.

You rolled your eyes. "Don't push your luck."

"You know, you could have just said you missed me without hitting me first."

"Hm, that's boring, and you deserved it."

His grin softened into something more genuine. "It's good seeing you too, angel.”

— If you guys want a part 2, please tell me; I have even more ideas for this. Also, if you have an idea that I could add in that part, I'm always open to suggestions!

[cynthiav06]

I have had up to here with people blaming Percy for absolutely no reason. How the hell is any of it his fault? Percy was all for saving Nico from the jar and agreed to help immediately. Don't spread misinformation. That scene and all scenes, including Nico's situations, involved Percy agreeing and worrying each time. Here are a few of those scenes. It's not all there's more, but these are the key ones:

Not the part about Sammy – that was still too painful to say out loud – but she told them about Gaia’s offer of a fake life, and the goddess’s claim that she’d captured her brother, Nico. Hazel didn’t want to keep that to herself. She was afraid the despair would overwhelm her. Percy rubbed his shoulders. His lips were blue. ‘You – you saved me, Hazel. We’ll figure out what happened to Nico, I promise.’ (Son of Neptune, Chapter 41)

I think my dad is turning a blind eye. I think – I think he wants me to find Nico.’ ‘We’ll find your brother,’ Percy promised. ‘As soon as the ship gets here, we’ll sail for Rome.’ (Son of Neptune, Chapter 52)

Huddled next to it was a dejected looking boy in tattered jeans, a black shirt, and an old aviator jacket. On his right hand, a silver skull ring glittered. “Nico,” Percy called. But the son of Hades couldn’t hear him. The container was completely sealed. The air was turning poisonous. Nico’s eyes were closed, his breathing shallow. He appeared to be meditating. His face was pale, and thinner than Percy remembered (…) “Nico,” Percy said, “where is this place? We’ll save you.…” (Mark of Athena, Chapter 13)

“He disappeared.” Hazel moistened her lips. “I’m afraid…I’m not sure, but I think something’s happened to him.” “We’ll look for him,” Percy promised. “We have to find the Doors of Death anyway.” (Mark of Athena, Chapter 3)

Percy pointed at Piper’s dagger. “Tiberinus said you could find Nico’s location…you know, with that.” Piper bit her lip. The last thing she wanted to do was check Katoptris for more terrifying images. “I’ve tried,” she said. “The dagger doesn’t always show what I want to see. In fact, it hardly ever does.” “Please,” Percy said. “Try again.” (Mark of Athena, Chapter 41)

He told them about his dream—the twin giants planning a reception for them in an underground parking lot with rocket launchers; Nico di Angelo trapped in a bronze jar, slowly dying from asphyxiation with pomegranate seeds at his feet. Hazel choked back a sob. (Mark of Athena, Chapter 14)

Piper dropped the blade. “What’s wrong?” Jason asked. “It was showing us something.” Piper felt like the boat was back on the ocean, rocking under her feet. “We can’t go there.” Percy frowned. “Piper, Nico is dying. We’ve got to find him. Not to mention, Rome is about to get destroyed.” (Mark of Athena, Chapter 41)

“We should wait for the others,” she said. “Hazel, Frank, and Leo should be back soon.” “We can’t wait,” Percy insisted. (Mark of Athena, Chapter 41)

The vision zoomed in again. Inside the jar, Nico di Angelo was curled in a ball, no longer moving, all the pomegranate seeds eaten. “We’re too late,” Jason said. “No,” Percy said. “No, I can’t believe that. Maybe he’s gone into a deeper trance to buy time. We have to hurry.” (Mark of Athena, Chapter 41)

Otis trudged over to the dais, stopping occasionally to do a plié. He knocked over the jar, the lid popped off, and Nico di Angelo spilled out. The sight of his deathly pale face and too-skinny frame made Percy’s heart stop. Percy couldn’t tell whether he was alive or dead. He wanted to rush over and check, but Ephialtes stood in his way. (Mark of Athena, Chapter 45)

At Otis’s feet, Nico shuddered. Percy felt like a hellhound hamster wheel somewhere in his chest had started moving again. At least Nico was alive. (Mark of Athena, Chapter 45)

Jason and Piper closed ranks on either side of Percy (…)“We’re here,” Percy said, which sounded kind of obvious once he had said it. “Let our friend go.” (Mark of Athena, Chapter 45)

“Okay.” Percy decided not to comment on the Hawaiian shirt. “Now, about our friend…” “Oh, him,” Ephialtes sneered. “We were going to let him finish dying in public, but he has no entertainment value. He’s spent days curled up sleeping. What sort of spectacle is that? Otis, tip over the jar.” (Mark of Athena, Chapter 45)

Percy was ready to slice this giant in half and get out of there, but Otis was standing over Nico. If a battle started, Nico was in no condition to defend himself. Percy needed to buy him some recovery time.  (Mark of Athena, Chapter 45)

Percy glanced over at Nico, who was just starting to move. Percy wanted him to be at least conscious enough to crawl out of the way when the fighting started. (Mark of Athena, Chapter 45)

This was all despite the fact that Nico knew who Percy was and that he needed help when he was amnesiac and in Camp Jupiter and didn't do anything. [Look at it from Percy's perspective. He has helped Nico in the past and considers Nico a friend, and still, when he was at his lowest with no memory and in middle of nowhere fighting for his life or in enemy territory, Nico did little to help. Sure, maybe he couldn't reveal himself, but he still could have tried to help instead of just pretending he didn't know Percy and them avoiding him. Even if there was nothing Nico could do there, look at it from Percy's or even a general perspective and tell me it doesn't look wrong]

Also, the whole Percy promised to save Bianca to Nico is fundamentally incorrect. Percy knew the quest was hard, and there would be losses. He promised to do his best. And he did. It was not enough, but it is in no way Percy's fault. Even Bianca herself knew that. Stop projecting on her with your own opinions.

Also, remember Percy himself was 13 years old; a child himself who had to tell another child his sister was dead. As if Chiron shouldn't be doing that himself and taking responsibility. Percy did the hard thing and Nico obviously a child snapped at him and ran. He ran. None of them are wrong and neither of them should be blamed.

Mind you, Percy took the prophecy upon himself to protect Nico. He also kept Nico's parentage a secret from Chiron, someone Percy greatly respects out of care and protection for Nico. He looked everywhere for Nico and never once blamed him for some of the choices he made. In fact, despite having not been at fault, HE STILL TOOK RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL OF IT AND FOR NICO HIMSELF.

Percy was the first to try and understand Nico, didn't blame him, didn't even get angry, and did everything to help, and YOU ARE BLAMING HIM?

Bianca was perfectly right to speak to Nico in front of Percy and ask him to forgive Percy, of course she would. Percy Jackson who owed them nothing and bore no responsibility for them did everything to take care of them and protect them and did so to Nico even when he switched sides and was actively trying to kill Percy. Tell me someone else who would be able to look past that? No one but Percy did. He literally went above and beyond for Nico and even included him IN HIS ONE WISH IN WHICH HE COULD HAVE ASKED ANYTHING HE WANTED BUT CHOSE TO ASK SOMETHING FOR OTHERS, FOR NICO DESPITE EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED.

You all just need someone to blame, and everyone just picks Percy; the one character who has literally nothing to do with half of the accusations against him. It's almost funny how far people go to implicate Percy in stuff he had no involvement and, in fact, did everything in his power to help with.

i think bianca di angelo would be so furious that they lost nico after she died. that he was able to just run away and get manipulated. (i know they looked for him, but *still*.) even though she was promised the camp would be a safe and accepting place for him. and dont get me started on how mad she’d be that the 7 (except hazel, of course, my angel) hesitated to save nico from that jar.

[siriusly-t1red]

Shadows and Light

Summary: Reader finally confesses to Azriel after secretly pining for years

CW: Fluff

The Velaris night was quiet, the city bathed in the soft glow of the stars. The wind whispered through the trees, carrying with it the scent of jasmine and night-blooming flowers. You found yourself standing on the balcony of the House of Wind, your heart pounding in your chest.

Azriel stood a few feet away from you, his back to the railing, his wings tucked close to his body. His shadowy presence was both comforting and intimidating, a paradox that had always intrigued you. His eyes, dark and unfathomable, were fixed on the horizon, but you knew he was aware of your presence.

"Azriel," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. You cleared your throat, trying to steady the tremor in your voice. "There's something I need to tell you."

He turned his head slightly, his gaze flickering to you for a moment before returning to the horizon. "I'm listening," he said, his voice as smooth and deep as ever.

You took a deep breath, the words you had rehearsed countless times tumbling out in a rush. "I—I think I'm in love with you."

The air seemed to still around you, the night's gentle breeze forgotten. Azriel's wings shifted slightly, a sign of his inner turmoil. He didn't respond immediately, and the silence stretched between you like a tightrope.

"I know this is... unexpected," you continued, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "And I understand if you don't feel the same way. I just needed to get it off my chest."

Azriel finally turned to face you fully, his expression unreadable. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words," he said softly, his voice laced with emotion.

You blinked, surprised by his admission. "You... you've waited?"

He nodded, his wings rustling as he took a step closer to you. "Every time I saw you, every time we spoke, I wanted to tell you how I felt. But I was afraid. Afraid of losing you, of making things awkward between us."

Your heart skipped a beat. "You... you feel the same way?"

Azriel's eyes darkened, a shadow passing over them. "More than you know.”

You reached out, your fingers brushing against his arm. “Am I dreaming?”

Azriel's wings unfurled, casting a wide shadow over the balcony. He stepped closer, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. "If you are then so am I ," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

You leaned into his touch, your heart pounding in your chest.

And then, he kissed you. It was gentle at first, a tentative exploration of lips and emotions. But as the kiss deepened, it became something more—something raw and powerful. The shadows around you seemed to swirl, as if drawn to the intensity of your connection.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless. Azriel's eyes were dark with desire and something more—something that looked a lot like hope.

"I never thought I'd find someone who could see me for who I am," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You don’t fear me. Have never shied away from my shadows or scars."

You smiled, your heart full. "I could never fear you."

He leaned in again, enrapturing your lips once more. Your tongues danced along each other, memorizing every crevice of the other's mouth. The longer you kissed, the more desire began to fill within you.

“Shit, now I owe Feyre 100 gold coins,” A voice cursed from behind you, causing you two to jump apart.

Your face flushed as you saw Cassian leaning against the door frame, a smirk plastered across his face. "I knew you two had something going on," he said, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement. "I just didn't think it would happen so soon."

Azriel's wings rustled, and he shot Cassian a warning glance. "This is hardly the time for your jokes, Cassian," he said, his voice low but not unkind.

Cassian raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm not here to ruin the moment. I just wanted to see if my bet with Feyre was going to pay off."

You couldn't help but laugh, the tension easing from your shoulders. "You bet on us?"

Cassian nodded, his smirk widening. "Oh, absolutely. Feyre had a feeling you'd confess your feelings tonight. I thought it would take a bit longer, but hey, I'm not complaining."

Azriel let out a soft sigh, his wings settling back against his body. "You and Feyre have a strange way of showing your support."

Cassian chuckled, pushing off the door frame and stepping onto the balcony. "We like to keep things interesting. Besides, it's not every day we get to see the Shadowmaster fall head over heels."

Azriel's cheeks flushed a deep red, and he glanced at you, his expression softening. "I suppose I have no choice but to admit it now."

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "I'm glad you did."

Cassian clapped his hands together, his grin still firmly in place. "Well, I'll leave you two to your... moment. Try not to make me an uncle too soon."

With a final wink, Cassian disappeared back into the house, leaving you and Azriel alone on the balcony.

Azriel turned to you, his eyes searching yours. "I'm sorry about him," he said, his voice filled with sincerity.

You shook your head, a smile playing on your lips. "Don't be. He's just being Cassian."

Azriel's expression softened, and he reached out to take your hand in his. "We have minutes before he tells the others."

You squeezed his hand, smiling. "Then let's make the most of this peace before it's gone."

Azriel leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss. The shadows around you seemed to dance, as if celebrating the connection between you.

As you kissed, the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you in the quiet, starlit night. The city of Velaris was silent, the night air filled with the scent of jasmine and night-blooming flowers.

And in that moment, you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. With Azriel by your side, there was nothing to fear.

The shadows and the light had found their balance.

[cupidwritessillystories]

A headcanon with them meeting their child from the future with hsr men

Character: phainon, mydei, anaxa, dan heng, jing yuan, blade, sunday and caelus

Fem reader

Something like the hsr men meet their kid from the future and the kid say that they're his kid from the future. At first the hsr man don't believe that, but then the kid show the family album photo that make the hsr man believe the kid. The male hsr can already know reader or haven't know reader yet. Maybe after that they meet reader and try to court her 👀

Hi, thank you for the request so much! It was really fun to write (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

Just fluff, confused hsr men, time travel and kids that try to convince their dads that they really are their kids from the future!

Characters included: Phynon, Mydei, Anaxa, Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, Blade, Sunday and Caelus.

Anaxa may and probably will be ooc, since he's not even out yet and the content we currently have of him is mainly leaks. His part is also exceptionally short. Either way, I hope you guys like it!

Love always, Cupid♡

Phainon

He met your future child inside a prophecy, as weird as it sounds. Usually, it was just whispers of Titans, words of maidens, the prophecies rarely ever appeared in a form of hallucinations, but this one did.

He listened intently, trying to catch what the prophecy wanted him to know, but when he opened his eyes, there was no one around besides a small child tugging at his sleeve.

“Dad” he called him. Phainon was surprised, to say the least. From what he understood from the strange story he heard, he would later on get with you, and this little one was supposed to be his future kid.

“Is this even a prophecy, or am I just dreaming?” He asked himself. He would enjoy a future like that, a future with you, but you had already turned him down once. Was he just projecting his unfulfilled desires, had the said “prophecy” read his mind and just gave him the answer he most wanted to hear?

He didn't believe it, he wanted to, but he didn't. The child looked up at him, confused, and then gave him a photograph that looked just a tad bit too real. He jolted awake suddenly, thinking that it was just as he suspected, a dream. But when he looked at what he had in his hand, his whole perception of what just happened changed.

It was the same exact photo the little one gave him. There was no way it was a dream, then, for the things you see in dreams can't just materialize in the real world. He believed now.

It was probably naive to believe that ridiculous story, no one in their right mind would do so, but Phynon couldn't help himself. It felt real, and he hoped it was real.

Little did he know, you were trying to think of a way to apologize to him for turning him down before, because you did feel the same way he did. The time of his confession just happened to be unfortunate, which resulted in you loosing your cool and shutting him down immediately, which later on made you regret your choice of words.

Fate is such a curious thing, isn't it? when two people are destined to be together, they will. No matter what challenges they may face along the way. And so, the “prophecy” did end up being true.

Mydei

Mydei met your child from the future back when he was still a Crown Prince of Kastrum Kremnos. He was on his way to the training arena when he heard weird noises coming from the nearby corridor. There were a lot of stupid people trying to play smart thieves around here lately, so he went to check it out just in case.

To his surprise, the presumed “thief” turned out to be just a young boy, not above the age of 13. He was scavenging through a bunch of crap laying loosely on the floor, a worried look plastered on his face.

“What are you doing?” Mydei asked, still contemplating whether to help him or throw him out of the castle, for he was definitely not supposed to be there. Mydeis’ face when he heard the boy call him “dad” followed by an unbelievable story about time travel and his non-existing family was priceless. A mix of emotion washed over him, most of which were negative ones. Who in their right mind comes up with bullshit like that?

He ended up ordering the guards to escort the boy outside, he wouldn't be able to stand another word from him. Although the boy has been escorted already, a weird feeling that Mydei wasn't exactly able to explain lingered somewhere inside of him. He noticed an envelope on the floor right when he was about to head to the training ground and forget all about this insignificant event. This must've been what the boy was searching for. He picked it up and the first thing he noticed was that it was meant for him all along. Not thinking much, he opened it. Inside there was a photo that looked like it had been taken in Okhema, the Holy city.

What really threw him off was the fact that it was him in the frame together with two people whom he didn’t know. One, he recognised as the young boy that caused him unnecessary trouble earlier on, but the other one was a woman whom he had never met.

It's been years until he finally found you. What's ironic is that he wasn't even searching for you. When he saw the photo, he decided it'd be best to just throw it out, but in the end, he never did. He kept it close to him at all times. He wasn't sure why himself. As soon as he noticed you among the crowd, giving your supplies of medicine out to those who clearly needed it, it suddenly dawned on him.

You were the woman from the photograph. He stared, and stared, and kept staring, untill you finally noticed him. You smiled at him softly, the sun illuminating your hair in a way that made them seem to glow. A flower crown adorned your head, making you look akin to an angel. You walked over to him, waving your hand in a friendly manner. It never happened to him before. People in Okhema were hesitant to talk to him, they probably thought him scary. But not you. No, not you.

When you were in hand's reach away from him, you stopped. You picked a flower out of the many on your head and tangled it in his hair. It was a beautiful white camellia that matched him perfectly. “Thank you, hero.” You said, and then walked away. Later on, Mydei found himself seeking you out on various occasions, making up a multitude of excuses just to be able to spend time with you.

Anaxa

Well, what can I say? Anaxa is a certified non-beliver. If he defies even the gods, he has no problem telling a kid that his story is bullshit and that he probably should focus on helping his parents with whatever they do. No regards for the child's feelings.

He does so repeatedly, but the little boy doesn't seem to be giving up anytime soon. They both stand their ground, using solid arguments to try and convince the other one that they are right. Unsurprisingly, it leads to nowhere.

The kid decides to prove his point by sharing a family photo with Anaxa, who doesn't even want to look at it at first, but after some time he gets irritated by the child's persistence and says that he will take a look at it.

And so, he does. It feels weird, because after further examining the photo he came to the conclusion that it is, in fact, real. He won't ever admit it, but something inside him stirred, and he may have believed that absurd story presented to him. A little bit, at least.

You looked really happy on the photograph, and so did he. It would really be a pity if it all was just a lie, a joke made by a bored kid. Luckily, it wasn't.

Dan Heng

Dan Heng was never the one to believe in fairy tales. He based his opinion solely on facts, so when a random kid suddenly appeared in front of him, trying to convince him that she's his “future daughter”. He genuinely contemplated calling a psychiatrist for her. He'd even pay for the services if he had to. That being said, he doesn't know what compelled him to doing a throughout research on you.

You, who seemed eerily familiar when he saw you on a photograph he received from the child right before she ran off. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he was sure he had seen you somewhere before.

He fell into a spiral. He spent almost every minute he could searching for you. For signs of you, however small, whether it be in his memory or on the internet, but nothing ever came up.

He was loosing his mind every time he looked at that photo. It was a picture of you, him, and the strange kid that gave it to him. You were holding the camera, he was standing behind you on a beach, his back turned to you. The girl from before was holding tightly onto his sleeve. She seemed younger than when she suddenly appeared in front of him that unusual day.

Just when he was about to give up, when he almost convinced himself that it was all just an unfunny joke played on him by a bored-to-death kid, he saw you.

He saw you when he was buying some snacks with March 7th and the trailblazer in Aurum Alley. The place was very crowded that day, he left his companions and ran after you before he could loose sight of you in the mass of people.

He grabbed your shoulder, you turned around, your eyes met, and suddenly, something clicked. He remembers now, and judging by the look on your face, you do, too.

Memories of his past incarnation cloud his mind. “Those are not my memories” he reminds himself. He let's go of your shoulder, he wants to leave, but before he can do so, you pull him close into a tight hug. He was hesitant at first, but when you rested your head on his shoulder, he reciprocated the embrace.

You knew he wasn't the same person now, what you knew is that if he would give you a chance, you'd fall in love with him all over again. More even than with his past self, and he seemed to be aware of that, too.

Jing Yuan

He was as calm as ever, even though for the past couple of minutes he was listening to a kid around the age of 10 excitedly explaining to him how he’s his future son. Truthfully, he didn't believe a single word that kid said, yet he still decided to entertain him. He was paying attention to every word the child said, asking different questions and letting out dramatic gasps from time to time.

It was until the kid mentioned your name. How was it that he knew you? Why did he suddenly bring you up, of all people? Jing Yuan didn't spare a second to ask the question he had on mind. “How do you know her?” The kid stopped his storytelling and looked at him, bewildered. “huh? Didn't I just tell you? Are you even listening to me?”

Jing Yuan's voice was still his usual, sleepy one, but underneath it, there was a hint of curiosity. “Sure i am. I'm just wondering, what does she look like?” The previous moment of hesitation that could be seen on his face for just a brief moment was now gone completly. He decides to play it cool, as he always did.

“Stop playing dumb!” The child retorted, a bit irritated by now. He managed to come to the conclusion that Jong Yuan doesn't believe him at all, and he wasn't wrong. “You don't believe me, do you?” The kid tilted his head to the side, waiting for a response even tho he knew the answer already.

Jing Yuan sighed in defeat. He got caught red-handed and lost a battle against that youngster. “I suppose I don't. Not entirely.” A second later, he already had a whole photo album laying in front of him. He raised a brow at the boy next to him. “Just look through it. Maybe it'll convince you.”

And so, he did. Not only did he look through it, no. He deeply analyzed every single photo that the album contained. He spent hours that he should be spending on work looking at the pictures. He was lucky enough that he convinced the kid to let him keep the album. None of the shots seemed fake, and some of them even had a signature. Your signature. He would be able to recognize your hand writing anywhere.

Later that day, he visited the alchemy commission where you were supposed to be resting after receiving a fatal injury. He was embarrassed, because the whole time you've been recovering he had never visited you once. He never missed a chance to ask people from the commission about the state of your well being, bit that was it. He wasn't sure himself why didn't he visit you, not even once. Maybe it was because he was scared, because he knew that everything that happened to you was entirely his fault.

His previous confidence faltered, but he wasn't about to back out now. He entered the room where you slept and placed a single peony on a nightstand besides your bed. He didn't wake you up, you will know he was there once you do, and that's enough.

Blade

Him being a stellaron hunter usually means that he has no contact with kids whatsoever, so when a sassy teen pops up randomly right before his mission, he doesn't know what to do. He tried to ignore her, but she's too stubborn to back down. After some persuasion, he finally gives in. He doesn't even say anything to her, just listens to her peculiar story. Besides the fact that the whole situation is rather unusual, everything seems normal, she goes on to explain time travel to him, but when your name slips off her tongue right next to the word “mom” he stops in his tracks.

He wasn't even paying attention to her meaningless monologue, but that didn't fail to reach his ears. His expression turns from an unpleasant one to something borderline threatening.

When she calls him “dad” he freezes once again. For a moment, he thought that she was your long lost daughter or something like that, deliberately ignoring the rest of the unbelievable story she bragged about just moments ago. He clenched the handle of his sword, but she just looked at him mockingly.

“I can prove it. I have a photo.” She said. “A photo… why would that convince me? Get lost.” He answered, but she handed him the photo anyway. She must've come to the conclusion that this is all pointless, because soon enough she disappeared from his sight. He didn't even notice it. He was too focused on the picture. It was real, he could tell, and that was what threw him off the most.

He quickly crumpled it in his palm to hide it when he felt your hands on both his shoulders. You were always unnecessarily clingy, even more with him than with other stellaron hunters. He thought you peculiar, your reason for joining was even weirder than your personality, because you literally didn't have a reason, or just didn't want to reveal it. When someone asked you why did you join the stellaron hunters, your answer was always short. “Fun.” He suspected your reason was entirely different in reality.

He never pried about it, though. He pretended it didn't interest him at all, even though deep down he was intrigued by your person. Maybe he did believe that kid, even if he didn't want to admit it.

Sunday

A little while before the Charmony Festival announcement something strange happened to him. He met someone, a child, that claimed to be his future future kid.

It was rather a peculiar encounter. Let's be fair - he doesn't know how to talk to kids. He's way too formal at all times, so the communication between the two went miserably.

Either way, he agreed to entertain the kid and listen to his made up story, or what he thought was a made up story. It had no logic to it, just a wild imagination of a young person, so there was no reason for him to think about it more than necessary, yet he found himself intrigued by it somewhat.

The conversation was cut short when the child looked at a clock and decided that it's time to go already. Before running off, he gave Sunday a single photo.

A weird feeling rose up in his chest once he looked at what it was. It was him in the frame. Him and a few other people, whom he recognised as the famous crew of the astral express. There was also the kid from before standing between him and a woman who he claimed was his mother.

Sunday didn't want to believe it. Why would he, of all people, ever join the Astral Express? He was content where he was, here on Penacony. It seemed ridiculous at the time.

Everything changed after the Charmony festival, when he got detained by the IPC and later on managed to strike a deal with Jade. Ironic as it is, he found himself asking the astral express crew whether he could board the express with them, at least for a little while.

At first, of course, they were skeptical towards that idea. He couldn't blame them, really. The one who seemed to have the biggest issue with him was you. He must admit, you've made some good points during the debate, if not for Welt advocating for him, you'd probably just kick him out the moment he first stepped foot on the express.

The conversation went on for a long time, with Sunday just standing to the side, waiting for the decision to be made. In the end you agreed, just like the rest of the crew, but the looked you gave him right after it was announced revealed that you weren't exactly happy about it.

He remembered his bizarre meeting with the kid, and the photo that he got, and the fact that supposedly, you and him were the parents. He still didn't believe in all of that, mostly because of your attitude towards him. The worst part was that the way you acted was justified. You seemed to hate him with a burning passion. But nothing lasts forever, and that, too, changed over time.

You started being more open to conversations with Sunday, you let yourself forget about all the unpleasant situations he managed to put the crew into back on Penacony. After some time, you got used to his presence. He would even argue that you kinda liked him, even though you wouldn't admit it.

As time passed, it only made you two closer, and he realised that the kid might’ve been right all along.

Caelus

at first, when the kid came up to him, claiming to be his child from the future, he burst out laughing. Like, really loud and hard, to the point his eyes started watering. It took him good fifteen minutes to calm down. He thought it hilarious.

After he finally cooled off, and your child kept explaining about them, you, and the future, Caelus stopped them way before they could finish. “okay that's not funny. It was only funny the first time around. Stop it.” man was creeped out.

His second instinct was to threaten your child with his baseball bat, and so, he did. It didn't quite work out the way he wanted to, because the kid laughed him off and threw a heavy book right at him, which he, caught off guard, didn't manage to catch in time, resulting in it hitting him in the face. Ouch.

Either way, he picked it up, asking what it is. Only thing he got as an answer was a quick “just open it.” And so he did. He turned it to a random page, and the expression of pure shock on his face said it all.

He expected everything, but not what he saw. There was only one photo on the page he happened to open the album on. In the frame, the first thing he noticed was you. You were cradling a little kid in your arms, and he was standing slightly behind you, his hands rested gently on your waist.

He was still skeptical about the truth, but the photo did look real. And you… You looked ethereal, he thought. Your eyes reflecting your love for the two, your hair slightly longer than it was now, and your smile seemed so sincere. He suddenly felt his heart skip a beat.

You were a passenger on the astral express currently, not yet a member, but you did travel quite a few worlds with the crew already. Caelus never seemed to notice the way you looked at him, although he looked at you exactly the same.

In that moment, he started to believe in the story presented by the kid just a little bit more. He hoped it was true, at least, and if it wasn't, he would make sure it'd come true. That's when he finally got the courage to ask you out, although when you asked what made him do it, he was too embarrassed to actually admit anything, so he quickly changed the topic by making some weird remarks about the lack of trashcan on Xianzhou Luofu.

[emsdevs]

As someone who's southern, yr thoughts about Luke and Nico w Appalachian reader is making my brain worms wriggle. Thinking abt Quinn with someone from the area and the memes of him staring on the bench during the games is him trying to decipher what the fresh fuck you just said to him. I have a Canadian friend and I always giggle at her slightly accent and trying to explain certain things to her that they just don't have. Quinn would be so lost about boiled peanuts and buying them off the side of the road🤚🏻

Boiled Peanuts

a/n: here to let everyone know that I'll write southern and/or Appalachian reader any time for anyone!! it's one of my favs!! sorry for the wait nonnie!!

masterlist | NHL Masterlists | Quinn Hughes Masterlist

Quinn was sitting on the bench in between shifts. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the pictures being taken. He knew it wouldn’t be long before it was the latest “Quinn Hughes is seeing ghosts” picture, but he honestly didn’t care. Truly, most of the time when he was zoned out like this, he was trying to keep his focus on the game, even though he wasn’t playing, but right now, it’s something totally different that has him looking like he’s in another realm. He can’t get your conversation from earlier in the day out of his head.

~~

He was eating some lunch before going to take his pregame nap when he noticed you heading back to the stove, ready to cook something else.

“What are you making, baby? If you want more food, you could’ve just asked for some of mine,” he was a little hurt you’d try to make yourself something extra without telling him he was hogging all the food.

“I didn’t eat a lot because I was saving room for what I’m about to make, and I would’ve offered you some, but I don’t really think you’d like it,” you shrugged.

“Well, I still wanna know,” he was genuinely curious, wondering why you’re being secretive.

“I’m gonna boil some peanuts,” you laughed as you spoke, knowing Quinn would think that’s a weird answer.

He’s silent for a moment, and you can see the confusion on his face. “Why would you do that?”

“It’s good, Quinny. We used to buy them at stands on the side of the road all the time back home.”

“You WHAT?” Quinn couldn’t believe his ears. He was fully aware that the southern parts of the U.S. had a completely different culture from the northern part he grew up in, and that awareness had only grown since he began dating you. He had heard all kinds of stories from before you moved to Vancouver, and he swore each one shocked him more than the last. This one, though, might take the cake. “Babe, you can’t just stop at stands on the side of the highway and buy stuff. That’s so dangerous.”

“Sweetheart, everyone does it all the time where I’m from. I mean, Lordy, someone’s probably doin’ it right now. Besides, I didn’t say highway. It was a two-lane road, honey.”

~~

The shock hadn’t worn off at all. He spent every second he had on the bench concerned for your safety and wondering what in the world made you want to try boiled peanuts. He had heard you say some truly insane phrases, and he didn’t question the weird suspicions you grew up with. He doesn’t know if he can let this go, though. 

Boiled Peanuts??

taglist: @heartsforjh @fofiquierellorar @justxpaulina @alex-wotton @devilinpradaheels @coldheartedmar @juxmi @macklin-celebrini-71 @puckmedude @one-sweet-gubler @pickedapuck @alexxavicry @dancerbailey3 @madebyhappymeals @ccomandercody @kirajessie @beenucks @bookshlmc

join the taglist

[yoongelectric]

Blame it on the vodka - LN4

— part 2 of drunk in love

genre: angst and fluff

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

warnings: lando is an asshole at the beginning, curse words

notes: english isn’t my first language, i don’t know if there’s gonna be a part 3

tags @htpssgavi

"You know we'll have to talk about this tomorrow, right?"

"Tomorrow, I promise" Lando kissed your forehead and soon you were both asleep.

-

Lando woke up with his arms around your waist and the smell of your hair invading his senses. As soon as his eyes landed on you he thought about how much he would like to have a pause button to stop time at that exact moment. He knew that when you woke up he would have to face what he’d done under the influence of alcohol and he had no idea what he would do.

The battle in his mind was already giving him a headache, how could he go on with his life once he knew how it felt to have you, make love to you, wake up with you in his arms and finally treat you as something more than just a friend, it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. But how could he ask you to be his girlfriend if he knew that you would have to make so many sacrifices, you had your life here, your job, your family, your friends, how could he make you choose between leaving that to follow him or seeing him only a few times a month? Could you keep a long-distance relationship or had the impulsive decision he made the night before ruined what the two of you had?

You woke up with a piercing headache and the strange sensation of someone looking at you, although your confusion lasted only a few seconds as you remembered the events of the night, a smile spread across your face as you turned to face your... should you say best friend yet?

"Good morning," you said, looking at him lovingly and moving to leave a kiss on his cheek.

But your brows furrowed when you saw that Lando was not looking at you with the same smile or the same joy you had, he looked a little worried, even upset you would say.

"Is something wrong? Or should I get used to you being in a bad mood in the mornings?" You asked, with a smile, trying to ease the tension.

"Sorry, I'm still a little sleepy" Lando smiled but you knew him, you noticed how forced his expression was. You were going to ask again but he got up and started getting dressed.

"Are you going somewhere?" you asked a little worried, you didn't want to be annoying but lando's actions were giving you a sinking feeling in your chest.

Why did he seem to feel the same as you yesterday and today he treated you like a stranger?

"I have to go home, y/n" he said as he rushed around the room looking for his things.

He didn't know why he was doing this, he knew it wasn't the most mature thing for him to do and it definitely wasn't the right choice. But he needed to think, he needed time, a few more moments before facing the possibility of hurting you.

He didn't want to admit it but he was terrified, and he had to force himself not to look at you, to not meet your disappointed gaze, because he knew that if that happened he wouldn't be able to leave.

"You promised me we were going to talk today," you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Maybe you were imagining things, Lando could be behaving the same as always and you were just sensitive, but the way he avoided your gaze, how it seemed like the mere fact of being in your house bothered him and how cold he was being towards you confirmed that it wasn't just in your head.

"Yesterday you asked me to stop avoiding you, to go back to how I was before, but now you’re the one pushing me away"

Lando knew you were right, that a real man would face you and tell you all his worries, but what would happen next?

"y/n I really have a lot of things to do today, I don't have time for this" Lando took his keys and headed to the door.

You didn't know what to feel, your heart was breaking into a thousand pieces and you were mad at him at the same time, how could he play with you like that, how could he tell you that he loved you and now leave you all alone?

You followed him hoping he would choose to stay but the person next to you seemed to be a completely different person than the one who went home with you yesterday.

"I asked you not to use me just to get your dick wet, Lando, I thought I meant enough to you to at least respect that."

Against all your will your voice broke, and you couldn't help but think of all the times you had cried and he had been there to comfort you, how could it be that he was now the reason for your tears?

Lando stopped in his tracks as soon as he heard you cry, and he hated himself for all the decisions that led him to hurt you.

"y/n don't say that, you mean the world to me, but last night was a mistake, we both know it" he said trying to grab your hand but you took a step back.

"We both know it? No, Lando, actually no, it felt perfectly fine for me, and no, I didn't know i was a mistake for you" your sadness turning into rage.

"You are not a mistake for me, last night i told you i loved you and I stand by it, I love you more than i love myself, but what's the point? I can't be with you, pretending that i could was the mistake"

"Why can't you be with me? I'm not pretty enough? Or famous? Or rich enough?" Your tears made it difficult to speak "I should have known, you don't consider me worthy of your love."

"I don't give a shit about your fame or your money, y/n, actually, I'm the one who's not worthy of you" Lando grabbed his head in exasperation and took a deep breath "you’d never be happy with me, we barely see each other, and I'm always busy with work, I could never give you the attention you deserve and I wouldn’t be the boyfriend I want to be for you."

"Who are you to decide what makes me happy or not, Lando?" You took a step forward and pointed at him with your finger "don't use time and your job as an excuse when the truth is that you're not willing to be the boyfriend you say I deserve" you yelled at him, your face red of anger

"Actually, I would do anything to be that man, y/n," his shoulders drooping in defeat, "but what if I can't? If I ruin everything and you end up hating me? I can't let that happen, don't you understand?"

"I don't know what's going to happen, Lando, I can't promise that everything is going to be okay and that we're going to live happily ever after" you grabbed his hand trying to calm down both of you "but what we feel is on the table, and what I can promise you that I am going to hate you if you leave now and leave me with my heart in my hand."

"I don't even know how to be a boyfriend, y/n. what if I'm not what you want?" Lando rested his head on your shoulder and you wrapped him with your arms, the anger was still inside you but the love you felt for him was stronger, you couldn’t see him in such distress.

"love, it's not like I don't know you, I'm know you're what I want, you don't have to change anything" you kissed his temple while caressing his hair

"i’m so so so sorry, baby, I didn't mean to make you cry, I didn't mean to be such a pussy” he took a deep breath “if we actually do this, will you be patient with me?" you felt him lean into your touch and knew he was finally opening up to the idea.

"I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend right now, we'll go as slow as you want" you held his face so he could look you in the eyes "the only thing I'm asking you is that you don't hurt me, don't leave without explanation, because I spent a lot of time thinking that you were never going to see me as something more than a friend and this is all new to me too."

Lando nodded and gave you a soft peck on the lips.

"forgive me, I don't know what I was thinking, I love you, I'm going to do everything I can to make this work."

and for the first time since you admitted that you were in love with him, you were sure that he felt the same, you weren't stupid, you knew it would be difficult, but you would both make it work, at the end of the day you were made for each other.

[toppamplemousse]

fairytalestappen part 1: beauty and the beast

a series of headcanons for fics that will never be written but exist fully fleshed out in our minds

for months now, we have had vague ideas of a series of lestappen fics all based on popular disney princess movies. alas it seems they are consigned to the fic graveyard and will never be written but that doesn't mean that people don't deserve to hear about them

so without further ado.........

part 1 of 5: beauty and the beast

starring charles as the beauty (obviously) and max as the beast (sorry max). and also all of the animated objects like lumiere, cogsworth, mrs. potts, etc are max’s ex-teammates (checo is mrs. potts thats the only one i've assigned for sure). charles is still an f1 driver but max is NOT (sorry max again)

basically jos pissed off a witch at some point and got a curse placed on him which was inherited by max when jos died. max is cursed to be beastly and also for reasons i can't remember he wasn't able to leave his abandoned villa that he lives in in the hills above monaco. the curse will only be lifted when jos, now max, has someone who loves him enough to do something truly selfless for him.

the beast is a well known myth in monaco, like whenever things go wrong in monaco (storms, designer clothing boutiques closing, etc) the monegasques blame the beast and say the beast is responsible

so charles, of course, thinks that his monaco curse, which has kept him from winning the monaco grand prix for so many years, is caused by the beast, and this year in the weeks before monaco, he decides to visit the beast and see if he can get the curse lifted (we conceived of this idea before charles had won monaco so there was going to be a lot of angst about never having won monaco. monaco 2024 you'll always be famous) charles makes the journey up to max's villa. there’s a storm and charles gets lost, so max comes out to rescue him, but charles thinks he’s kidnapping him. they get off on the wrong foot immediately and hate each other

charles tries to get max to talk about the curse but max clams up and wont tell him anything. charles meets all the ex-teammates and they explain the curse being passed down and that max isn’t a bad person. maybe they do it in song? who could say. alex albon sings be our guest. okay moving on.

charles tells max about his monaco curse, but max swears he has nothing to do with it. however, he takes charles to a room in his house filled with F1 memorabilia and says they can look through it together to see if there’s any mention of a monaco curse. charles is charmed and as they look through the objects together, they begin joking and flirting and start to See Each Other In A Different Light.

daniel/pierre/alex/checo organize a very romantic moment where charles and max watch the sunset over monaco and share a dance (checo is singing beauty and the beast in the background but that's unimportant. charles is somehow wearing a giallo modena ballgown and that is very important To Me). they have A Moment where they Look Into Each Other's Eyes and charles is about to lean in to kiss max when max breaks away and flees (bc he thinks he's unlovable bc he's a beast and because of the curse. poor max. it's going to get worse buddy).

oh no! it’s imola weekend. charles has to leave but promises max he’ll come back immediately. max doesn’t believe him bc he’s cursed and no one ever keeps their promises. LOTS OF ANGST. then charles DNFs in imola and ferrari are worried about his mental state going into monaco so they put him on lockdown. charles is ANGUISHED bc max is going to think he abandoned him. but there's nothing he can do about it until after monaco.

charles DOMINATES the FPs in monaco and he’s all-but-guaranteed to get pole. there’s a lot of unrest in monaco bc the monegasque people are worried that this year is going to be like previous years, and charles is going to be robbed of the win he so clearly deserves. so a mob forms to march up to max’s house in the hills above monaco and kill him, so that charles will not be cursed anymore. damn these monegasques are kinda dramatic.

charles faces an agonizing decision. he needs to stay for quali to get pole and have any hope of winning. but they’re threatening the love of his life’s life. it's not really a choice at all. charles leaves the paddock and races up the hills to max’s house. its raining. it’s very dramatic. charles saves max from the mob, gives a big speech about how he loves max, how he knows now he isn’t cursed, how he can win the race without anyone interfering for him.

charles has given up any hope of winning his home race in order to protect max. SELFLESS ACT. max’s curse is broken. he and charles kiss and declare their love, max is like “i can’t believe you gave up your home race for me” charles says “there’s always next year”

but wait! the rain was so severe that quali was delayed! charles makes it back in time and puts it on pole. he wins the race, and max is there in parc ferme and under the podium.

then they go to jimmy’z afterwards and live happily ever after.

i know that in the movie the whole curse is also affecting lumiere and cogsworth etc and at the end when the curse is broken they become people again but in this story all the ex-teammates stay as objects forever and live in max and charles' house. maybe liam lawson joins them as a little teacup one day, who can say for sure

next up: cinderella!!!

[opheliachoi99]

My Oh My! 𖤐

MICHAEL KAISER X READER

ABOUT : Your cousin Isagi has introduced his teammates to you, and one person caught your attention. Is he an insane walking black flag or the literal opposite?

note : I'll still post guys! It's just that university is killing me recently T^T Enjoy!

— You were just peacefully reading a novel, as Isagi suddenly showed up in your room bringing exciting news.

"WELL IF IT ISN'T MY FAVOURITE COUSIN!" Isagi sarcastically spoke "What is it now.. You're literally just ruined my day." You rolled your eyes.

"Hey hey, I came here to tell you some news—" "Yoichi.. Aren't you training in what you call that place blue block?" You teasingly squint your eyes.

"Correction. "Blue Lock". And yes I am training, but I came here to tell you my news related to my training.. I want you to come visit! There's a day where visitors are allowed! I want to introduce my team to you" You were speechless from the sudden news Isagi had carried for you.

"Woah woah, slow down. Visitors? Why me though?" You asked "Oh c'mon! You're always staying inside your room. Go get some fresh air, touch some grass. Your skin has barely felt sunlight!"

"Yoichi, you're exaggerating. I'm coming, I did not say I wasn't accepting your offer" You sarcastically scoffed. "REALLY? YES!! Chigiri is also inviting his sister, you two will surely get along!" You simply snickered "Okay okay, slow your horses down. When exactly?"

"Tomorrow!"

— Time Skip —

As you arrived to the headquarters of Blue Lock, you noticed that they're not only Japanese men here, but also foreign men.

"Goodness, good thing I never failed my English.. Perks as mixed blooded." You sighed in relief "Hey! You must be Isagi's cousin!" A cute red haired girl approached you "Ahh yes! Hello! And you are?"

"Koyuki! Chigiri Koyuki" She smiled "AHH! You must be the sister Isagi told me about! Nice to meet you!" You bowed "Yes! I'm Hyoma's sister" You both smiled.

"There you are!" Isagi said as he was sweaty from his practice "I see you've met Chigiri's sister" He said as he bowed at Koyuki "You guys can come in now, don't mind us being so sweaty and stuff, we just finished training" He awkwardly laughed "Intense training indeed." You and Koyuki laughed.

As you guys entered the headquarters, you saw a lot of players, and all laid eyes on you and Koyuki "Uhh.. Yoichi, where are the other visitors?" You asked in a concerning tone.

"お姉ちゃん!" [ O nēchan ] Chigiri called out to Koyuki "Hyoma!! Where are the other visitors..?"

"About that... They invited their friends and family, but... Most of us here are foreigners, so traveling was one of the major problems.." Isagi explained "But what about the Japanese?"

"Busy, had reasons." Chigiri replied "So basically only you and Isagi's cousin are the visitors here" You and Koyuki stared at each other and awkwardly smiled. "Sure.."

— Time Skip —

You and Koyuki had been talking with each other while staying in the bleachers, and she was talking so much, yet you felt shivers down your spine as the boys were staring at you two, leaving you anxious.

"Uhm.. Koyuki, the boys are staring at us.." You tried to calm yourself down "I know. I just tried to talk alot to release my nervousness" She awkwardly laughed.

"Why weren't we informed that it was only the two of us.." You rubbed your nosebridge from despair.

"They're all so hot too.. Help me.." Koyuki gripped my wrist, and you tried to calm her down.

While you two were lowkey panicking on spot, Isagi and Chigiri was surrounded by the boys.

"Yo! Chigiri, who's the cutie? Is that your sister?" Otoya slung his arms on Chigiri's shoulder flirtatiously.

"Oh not today Otoya, I don't want you playing with my sister's heart, no." "Oh please, I just wanted to get to know the gal" Otoya winked.

"Isagi, is that your sister?" Ness asked "No, she's my cousin. Why?" "Uh, nothing she looks foreign, like not purely Japanese" Ness added, without knowing someone from behind was eavesdropping Ness and Isagi's conversation.

"Oh, yeah she's not purely Japanese, my aunt, which is my mother's sister had married a German, so she's half German. But she's staying here in Japan because their home is still in progress, it's a big place." Ness was astonished "So that means we can interact with her easily since she can speak German" "Correct."

"WOAH REALLY? That's interesting..." Aiku popped up "She's really pretty too" Bachira added.

"So a hottie and a cutie as the visitors of the day.. I'm BLESSED!" Otoya rejoiced "Shut up!" All of them yelled at Otoya.

— Time Skip —

As the day is finally over, everyone had done their post-stretching. "I'll be back, just gotta grab my water bottle in the locker room" Isagi reassured and you simply nodded.

You grabbed your novel you were still reading it halfway of it, a large figure appeared in front of you.

"Was liest du, hübsche Dame?" [ What are you reading, pretty lady? ] You startled yourself, "Excuse me?" You look up to find a very intimidating looking man "You heard what I asked, or you did not understand a single thing I just said?" He cockily stated.

"Ja, ich verstehe dich" [ Yes, I understand you ] You coldly replied "Guess Yoichi's wasn't lying" He chuckled "Why would he be lying anyway? And who are you?" You asked as you closed your novel.

"Michael Kaiser, 19, German." He spoke bluntly "And you are Yoichi's cousin, who is half German. Age?"

"He told you?" You simply sighed "18."

"Wie schön~" [ How lovely~ ] He chuckled. You simply felt awkward since a random guy approached you out of the blue, but you couldn't deny, he was ravishingly handsome.

"So you're German huh? From where?" "Berlin, you?" "Same" He smirked "What a small world, visitors can visit here anytime you know, didn't Yoichi tell you that?" You shook your head.

"You should visit sometime, y'know to see us play" He offered "Well—"

"Kaiser.." Isagi interrupted "Let's go" You nodded "Nice meeting you Kaiser, I'll be on my way now." He just gave a salute and said "Come back tomorrow, see us play" He winked flirtatiously. "This guy.." Isagi groaned.

— Time Skip —

As Isagi took you home, you couldn't help but ask "Yoichi.. Who's Kaiser? He suddenly introduced himself to me and he knew I was half-German. How?"

Isagi furrowed "I think he eavesdropped our conversation with Ness earlier, he's a devil, don't be with him. He's insane on-field. Everyone is targeting him, because of is mad skills in soccer. He's known as "God's Chosen Emperor" he's also a walking BLACK flag, not red, but BLACK"

"You're exaggerating again" You chuckled. "His a.k.a is basically just a translation of his name, Michael means "Gift from God", while Kaiser means "Emperor" and I saw a glimpse from his hand. He has a tattoo?"

"It goes all through his left collarbone, girls find it "hot" AÆUGH-!" You laughed "I don't know if your disgusted or possessed"

"But yeah, he's right you should come back tomorrow, visitors starting today can visit anytime" You nodded "Sure, I am pretty bored in my room most of the time. See ya Yoichi!!"

— Time Skip —

It's been a month since you've visited Blue Lock, and you seemed to develop a relationship with Kaiser, but somehow what Isagi said is kinda true, since he does have a flirty and cocky attitude, but you weren't there to judge him, you were happy to have a friend. Isagi didn't like it at first, but at some point he laid low, he's only observing Kaiser. If he does something below the belt, then that's the time he'll punch the shit out of him.

The game was intense as it was Bastard Mūnchen and PXG, and at some point you admired Rin. You've been keeping an eye on Rin, every single move he makes, you observed it crucially.

Koyuki, on the other hand, had her eyes laid on Aiku. She was head over heels over him ever since they had the opportunity to visit Blue Lock.

You were confused where to cheer from, since both of the teams has your favourites.

Kaiser noticed you always staring at Rin. Somehow, he felt something.. Something desirous.

"Kaiser! Now!!" Isagi yelled, Kaiser went back to his senses and took over the ball. Rin was after him, and as he saw Rin, he felt his blood boiling, not because of the game, but something else.

"Get the fuck out of my way." Kaiser sternly said and scored the goal. Bastard Mūnchen won.

"GOAL!" The team cheered. You felt happy for Isagi, and Kaiser's team, but you saw Rin frustrated. You wanted to approach him but you couldn't, he was too intimidating. You simply sighed.

"We won, schatz" You turned to see Kaiser taking off his jersey and placing in on your back "Ew! Sweat alert!"

"Don't be so dramatic, you're lucky I gave you my jersey fresh" He proudly spoke. But you didn't realized you were staring at his tattoo. "Wow.." "What? Like the view?"

"What—? Ew no! I was just admiring your tattoo, that's all." You defended. "Only my tattoo? Liebe gotta be better than that"

"Why are you calling me names?" You raised a brow, "Why not?"

You were about to reply but you froze as you saw Rin approaching towards your direction "Hey Kaiser, you had the guts to speak to me like that?" Kaiser took his extra shirt from the side and wore it "Why not? Bothered?" He smirked "You are so mad at me, why? Is it because I almost took your spot?" Rin added.

"Look kid, don't sprout your attitude towards me like that, why so mad? I only said you're in my way. Unless..." Rin was about to pounce at Kaiser when you and Isagi broke the fight before it even started.

"Hey enough, it was a good game. No hard feelings" You advised "It was NOT a good game to start with." Rin scoffed as he walked away, you felt offended from what he said. Kaiser, on the other hand felt pissed "He's fucking lucky to be praised yet he gave a cocky attitude in return, tch" He said and walked away.

You were confused, trying to figure out what he meant.

— Time Skip —

When you visited again, you noticed Kaiser leaning from the main door, waiting for you.

"Kaiser! Waiting for someone?" You asked "Yeah, you." "Me?" Without hesitation he grabbed your wrist and brought you to a place somewhere from the area.

You felt awed when you saw how beautiful the view was, "Kaiser.. This is beautiful.."

He sat down in the green grassy field, tapping the spot next to him. You sat beside him, and went silent for a while, just adoring the heavenly view.

Kaiser suddenly clears his throat to break the silence between you two.

"You like Rin huh?" He playfully scoffed "Rin? Oh, he's a cool guy" You replied. "Cool? How so-?" He asked.

"The way he plays, he has potential. His face card too, insane" Kaiser just responded with a hum. "Why'd you ask?" You raised a brow.

"So you like LIKE Rin?" "Hey I was asking the question!" He went silent. You soon noticed the vibe. You chuckled, his face was covered by his long hair, as you tucked his hair in his ear, you spoke "Why would they think you're a walking black flag?"

He suddenly looked at you "I mean look at me.. What do you expect? Tsk. Kinda understand why you prefer Rin"

You laughed so hard "My oh my... Michael.. I cannot fathom your words at all! Please don't assume. Actually... I like someone else.."

"Pardon? Is he not from blue lock?" "No? He is here." His face looking confused "Here? Where?"

"Right in front of me" You smiled.

He went silent for a moment "Wait, me?" You laughed "Yes, you" "WAIT, ME?"

"YES, YOU DUMMY!"

"But, I thought—" "Yes, I like Rin, but not romantically silly, just adoring his skills on-field" You explained "What about my skills? I'm better than him" He smugged. "I adore more than your skills." His eyes glimmered.

"The first time when you interrupted my reading session.. I was shocked to hear someone German at that moment, and I looked up seeing you, I was mesmerized, I never thought I would see another German in Japan somehow" You chuckled.

"But didn't you listen to them? I am a "Black Flag" yet you still—" "And so what? You may look like one, but you aren't one."

Kaiser's eyes widened, it was his first time hearing those words from someone "I know you had tragic times back in the past, I can see it through your eyes" His haughty look soon softened.

"Everytime I see you on-field, I was like "My oh my.. What a man.." You thought I was only looking at Rin? Think again."

Without hesitation, he kissed you. It was sudden but ardent. "No need, I was reassuring before I would throw these feelings away." He snickered. You went speechless.

"Hello? Schatz? Wait- can I finally call you that?" You were still in shock, yet you managed to reply through a nod.

Kaiser was jumping for joy in the field, his cocky, and arrogant aura, gone. The blue lock boys were eavesdropping from afar.

"Since when does Kaiser act like this?" Kunigami coldly asked "His inner child finally came out" Ness smiled.

Isagi was looking at you, observing. But him seeing you happy, made him happy too "Out of all men my cousin would end up with, Kaiser was the least on my list, but- here we are." He scoffed.

Kaiser carried you and spun you around "Danke, dass du mich liebst" [ Thank you, for loving me ] You simply smiled "No, thank YOU, for approaching me." You both laughed.

You sighed. "My oh my, my micha.. It was always you since day one. Ich liebe dich.."

Fin

[casual-tarot]

Hidden Strengths and How to Use Them

Let me know what pile you picked!

Pile 1

Your strengths:

You're an all-rounder, you have many different skills and talents. You may be able to pick up on things fast, or maybe your just have a natural talent for these things. No matter the reason, the fact stands, you are an incredibly multifaceted person.

You're adaptable, you can handle change with an ease many wouldn't be able to handle, even if it's difficult for you. What's scary to others, may be beautiful to you. Change doesn't effect you the way it does others and that makes you able to handle these new situations with ease.

Negativity from others doesn't stop you. People can doubt you, tell you you'll fail, or even simply warn you against the risks you're taking. It doesn't stop you, you hear them and you keep going anyway, risks and all.

You're able to hold a lot on your plate with ease. Now while you shouldn't overwork yourself or take on more then you can handle, you can actually handle quite a lot. Tasks that build up and would burden others don't actually seem to effect youvall that much. You're even pretty good at keeping your work load in check, making sure not to take on too much or stretching yourself too thin. But be weary anyway, we're all human, and sometimes you don't realize you've taken too much_///////

How to use them:

All-rounder: Use your various skills to call others to actions. You already know what you're doing and how to do it efficiently, you can use those skills to help others build their own. Become a mentor, a teacher, or even just an encouraging figure in their life. You're skills can really aid someone else. Alternatively, if you don't work well with/teaching people, you can hone/grow your skills and monetize off of them. Whether that be getting a job in that field, some version of self employment, or simply something as simple as a side hustle, you can use your various skills to earn a decent amount of cash for your pockets. You have what it takes to back it up after all.

Adaptability to Change: You have the innate ability to help others handle these changes as well. You may become a sort if guiding light for others, whether that be by helping them get on their feet, or simply showing them a new perspective, you can aid these people. For yourself however, you are able to see every change, every metaphorical death in your life, as an opportunity, a way to grow. Because you see change from a different perspective, you have a sort of birds eye view of the situation, making you able to see all outcomes easier, good and bad. The difference with you however is that you don't usually let anyone negative outcomes get to you. This means you are able to get up and start working on a solution, or simply that you're already rearing yourself to not give up and finding the positives. Lost a job? Well you hated that job anyway, time to find something you actually enjoy. Ruined your favorite journal? It was full and messy anyway, this is your chance to start fresh! This is how your mind works, which is why it's so easy for you to navigate change. And in doing that, it makes life easier on you, the world doesn't weigh so heavy on your shoulders. Keep that up.

Negativity Doesn't Stop You: Similar to the point above, you are able to handle negativity with grace. Let's be honest, the world is rife with people always trying to ee the worst of any situation, and that can be exhausting. But you are different. People may try and bring you down, even unintentionally, but you don't let it get to you. In doing this, you are able to become the king of your own destiny. You have the ability to power through anything simply because you're already able to power through people's negative words, which hold more power then we think. Upheaval and tragedies, which destroy others, don't weigh as heavily on you. Instead you are able to get back on your feet and begin work again, or help others onto theirs. With this skill comes great opportunities, simply because you are able to leave all those negative words behind.

Ability to Handle a Lot: Because you are able to take on so much, it inadvertently means you have some form of time/priority management skills, even if you dont see it in yourself. Whether you need to build up that skill consciously, or simply want to make things easier on yourself, you have the skills to do that. You've got a good balancing act going on, and its in that balance that you can become more efficient, or ease the burden. Find time in your busy schedule and work on learning what needs more attention and what doesn't, learn when to give someone else the task and when to ask for help. In the end, this will not only give you more time on your hands, but ease your workload and help boost whatever it is you were working towards in the first place. Know when to go for it and take on more, and when to ease back and plan. This will be the best way to boost your general productivity without wearing yourself out.

Bonus Message:

Signs & Confirmation: Libra, Gemini, Cancer, North Node, Waxing Gibbous, Cresent moon, Moon, Noth star, luck number 4, 4 leaf clover, 4, 44, 444, 9, 9 of swords, 99, 999, 6, 66, 666, 6 sided dice, Wings, Freedom, feathers, Angel wings, Birds, Flying Insects, Bug wings, The forest, See the forest for its trees, Hearts, Love, Elephant, An elephant never forgets, Kings, Royalty, 3rd eye, Open/opening your 3rd eye, Pride, Chameleon, Camouflage & blending in, Lizards

Pile 2

Your Strengths:

You have the innate ability to see the truth in any situation. If someone is lying, you can tell. If you are deceiving yourself, you catch yourself and focus your way of thinking. If there's some decision to be made, and everyone around you is telling you to choose one thing, you will be able to tell what the right choice for you is. It's like you can see straight through a person or situation, and look directly at what the universe(or whatever you believe) is trying to tell you.

Similar to the point above, you can see through to people's intentions. It's like you cut them open and can see their heart directly. People can't get anything past you. Even if it's something innocuous, like lying so they can secretly buy you a gift, you can tell, you immediately know what's going on. You can also seem to see what direction people will go in based on their heart, good or bad. In that vein, you know who comes into your life bringing good or bad intentions, and are therefore able to cut them out/let them in quickly and with good judgement.

So far all your cards seem to say very similar things, you can see through to the truth. In this case, you're able to be realistic about a situation. You don't get carried away with your hopes or imagination, you don't let them get out of control and morph into delusion. You are grounded in reality and can see when things will pan out in a way that allows you to be hopeful, and when you need to keep your expectations in check. You have a lot of eyes on you, expecting you to do great things or fail miserably, but those eyes, those expectations, they don't matter to you. You know what will happen, not them. And you know how to keep yourself from falling, even if things don't work out the way you wanted them to, because you understand how to stay grounded.

Despite everything else, despite expectations and seeing any negative intentions, when you trust something or someone, when you trust yourself, you go all in. Your heart tells you to fly and you listen. In doing so, people are usually surprised at how well things work out for you.Nothing can stop you because you know that you're right, you're doing the right thing, you're trusting the right people. You know that when your gut or your heart tell you it's time to go, to get started, it's time.

How to use them:

You can see the truth: Because of your ability to see through anything and get right to it's core, you are able to realistically see all possibilities without worrying about what's right, who's lying, are you making a mistake. You can sit down with yourself and feel out a situation. You can listen to your gut and understand what routes to take based on what you know. In turn you can actually help others see these truths too, people may come to you for general advice or a realistic look on a situation. You are able to help those around you because of this gift, if you choose to. You also have the ability to keep these facts to yourself if you believe someone is undeserving of such knowledge.

Seeing peoples intentions: You can cut through bullshit, plain and simple. You are not blind to someone's deceit, therefore people can't pull anything over you. And while you're not immune to deceit and manipulation, you definitely have a sixth sense for when someone aims to bring you, or those around you, harm. Because of this, you can cut people out before they get a chance to do any real harm to you. These people may not like it, but their opinions dont matter to you anyway. On the other side of things, when someone good and honest enters your life, you are able to see and choose to keep them near. In your knowing, you can sit down and choose to make a new friend(or more).

Your Realism: As I said before, you know how to see through any situation, and can see when you are at risk of deceiving even yourself. Because of this, you can see opportunities for what they are. If something seems to good to be true, you take a moment with yourself to evaluate, and can come to a realistic, honest conclusion. You see every possibility, and can therefore make a good, educated estimation on the situation. So when something good does present itself, you know you can trust yourself to take that leap and land safely.

You trust yourself: When you take those leaps of faith, you do so confidently, knowing you have all the information you need to make that decision properly. This is your unadulterated passion, and it is powerful. When you let yourself go like this, nothing can stop you. Let yourself be carried away by this feeling, as it brings endless opportunities for you. While being realistic is a good trait to have, never let go of the pure pride you feel when you throw yourself into something you trust. It will bring only good things in the end.

(And sometimes blind faith can be a good thing, but you know that already, don't you?)

Bonus message:

Signs and Confirmation: Taurus, Gemini, Aquarius, Libra, Neptune, Venus, Poseidon, Aphrodite, 6, Sex, 2, 22, 222, 2 of cups, the lovers, North Node, Pluto, The Sun, New Moon, No Moon, 8, 888, Dionysus, Clouds, Cloudy days, Overcast, No Rain, Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, a single leaf, decaying leaves, shopping, purses, honeycomb, seahorses, The sea, dragonflies, bunnies/rabbits, the mad rabbit, clocks, keys, lockets, Generosity, charity, 7, 77, 777

Pile 3

Your strengths:

Your confidence, even without pulling any cards i can tell this is the shamelessly confidant pile, and pulling cards only confirmed that. You know your worth and and your power, and you're not afraid to show it. You're also very wise and astute.

You're ready for anything. Nothing that hits you can ever truly bring you down. And no matter what, you're always ready to get back up, or to fight back.

You are able to understand that not everything works out for you, and thats its ok! You know that even though one door closes, another will open. Sometimes things are meant to fail, sometimes you're not meant for something, but you never let it bring you down. You're always ready to move on and get to the next opportunity.

Words hurt, and you let yourself feel that hurt. While others try to brush off their pain or play it off like it's no big deal, you allow yourself to feel that pain fully. Because of that, you are able to heal and move on faster then others. Where other people may dwell, or take ages to even think about their emotions, you're already moving past it. You are very in tune with your emotions, and you don't fear them like others might.

How to use them:

Your confidence: With you unrelenting self belief comes many opportunities. You're self confidence allows you to not only find these opportunities, but to also take them for yourself without shame or guilt. You also have the ability to take on a leadership role if you desire it. Your confidence in yourself makes you a strong and dependable leader, always someone other can rely on and someone who makes good, well thought out, decisions. Besides all of that, your confidence also simply helps you boost your self esteem. Rely on that unrelenting belief when you begin to doubt yourself, and be forgiving to yourself. Remember that you are amazing, and nothing can stop you!

You stand strong: Not many things can bring you down, and even when they do, you always manage to get back up. Use this to fight back, even when it's tough. Your resilience will pay off in the end. With it will come new opportunities and grand rewards. I could be something as simple as a finished project, or as big as a major promotion. The key here is to rely on that part of yourself, that ability to never give up, to always rise from teh ashes, even when things get hard. You can do thsi! Remember that!

Failure isn't the end for you: You are the keeper of your own destiny, and you know deep down that just because something doesn't work out, doesn't mean it's the end of the world. You are confident, self assured, you are that boss bitch(someone must need to hear that haha!), you can get through anything. Focus on that, focus on the future, focus on what this failure could bring to you. Every failure brings new opportunities and chances to learn. Weigh these losses with the wins that begin you sprinkle your way, and soon you'll realize that the good far outweighs the bad. You always rise from these ashes, use those ashes to build your way out of any pit. All experience is good experience, yes, even failure.

Your Ability to Feel: In dwelling in the negative emotions you feel, you allow yourself the emotional intelligence needed to move on. You may also be able to help others through their difficult emotions because of this, or you'll be able to understand when to ask for help and let someone else help shoulder the burden with you. This all helps you grow and mature as a person, always let yourself feel your emotions this way. Keep growing and keep letting your emotions flow.

(Note that you reading was the shortest, I feel maybe you already knew all this, and didn't need to hear it. I hope it helps remind you of your greatness anyway!)

Bonus Messages:

Signs and Confirmation: Aquarius, Cancer, Taurus, Leo, North Node of the Moon, 8, 888, stars, stars in the sky, constellations, Pentacles, Full Moon, 2, 22, 222, Waxing Gibbous Moon, Zeus, Hades, Persephone, Mars, Mercury, Pluto, The color red, 4, 44, 444

Normally I pull charms and just say whatever comes out and anything related to the charms, but you guys got so many i figured it'd be easier to just how you a picture(click to see the full picture)

Key points based on charms: Poseidon, the sea, Paris, Air Bending, The Element of Air, Fairies, Faith is key, Wise like an owl, You are somebody's anchor, Squirrel on an branch(because that specific charm was flipped over in the picture lol), Mermaids, Goldfish, Artemis, A deer, Epic the musical(specifically the song "Ruthlessness")

[cupidbedsy]

emma ! Congrats on 1k !! I'm so happy for you ! Mwah !

can I get🪻with the prompt "Stop giving me hope. It hurts so much more." for Luke Hughes please !

How about the reader and Luke dating but he's going to Jersey so they decide to end things, but Luke just keeps giving reader hope. Maybe it ends with one showing up to the others place?

but, if you get another idea feel free to do it ! 🫶🏼🧡

✿ CUPID'S FLORAL SHOP ✿

here's a freshly picked lonely lavender 🪻 !

warnings: breakup, reader not really trying to fight for the two of them

word count: 774

florist cupid: thank you ana 😚 i hope you enjoy some little lukey angst mhm

both of you knew it was going to happen soon, between the rumors online and between the talks luke's been having, you knew it was coming up but neither of you wanted to be the first to bring it up.

so for two weeks, you acted like everything was normal: hanging out in your rooms watching movies, going out on date nights, and taking late-night drives around campus.

but soon the anxiety started to eat at you, not knowing what your future was going to be like once he left, if you two would make it through the two years you still had to be in michigan.

luke could see it tearing you down every time you guys hung out, you bit your lip more than usual, went from leaning into his hugs to scooting away from him a second later, short text messages, the lot.

the lack of communication between you two was putting a damper on any hope you could have had for your relationship after he went to new jersey, and now? maybe you weren't so sure if you should continue this.

you showed up to his place after your last class of the day. you knew he didn't have practice and it was uncommon for you to come by unannounced, everyone had gotten used to you walking in, saying your quick greetings and then making your way to luke's room without another word.

you knocked softly on his door, twisting the handle once you heard his familiar 'come in'. you walked in, setting your bag on the ground near the door and made your way over to his bed, sitting on it.

"hey baby."

you internally cringed at how happy he looked, he had been putting on a brave face for the both of you these past few weeks. as much as he wanted this to work out and keep you by his side for the rest of his life, he knew he couldn't, but maybe he would change your mind.

"hi."

there was no mistaking luke's frown when he heard your soft voice, almost as if you were scared all the words would tumble out as soon as you opened your mouth.

"what's wrong?"

you took a deep breath before speaking, "i don't think i can do this anymore."

"what do you mean?"

"i mean that you're going away soon and i don't know if i can do this whole long-distance thing. you're going to be busy with practice and games and i'll be busy with homework and exams and i just- i'm scared we'll get too engrossed in our lives and forget about each other."

"i wouldn't forget you, y/n/n-"

"luke... maybe it's for the best. maybe we need to focus on ourselves and just not worry about putting each other on the back burner."

"sweetheart, i would never put you on the back burner. you're the most important person in my life, i'm always going to put you first." he reached for your hand, taking it in his larger ones, warmth radiating through you.

tears pricked your eyes and you did everything in your power to keep them in, but as soon as one fell, the others were quick to follow.

you shook your head at his words as they finally registered in your mind, "luke we can't. we're going to get so busy and-"

"i'm going to do everything i can to make sure you feel like i want you in my life, because i do, baby. nothing, not even 600 miles, is going to change that."

your voice cracked as you spoke again, "stop giving me hope, lukey. it hurts so much."

luke could feel his heartbreak at both your words and your voice crack. slowly he released your hand, nodding as you stood up and walked toward your bag.

no more words were spoken between you two, just the unspoken agreement that the past year and a half were nothing more than a memory now.

━。゜✿ ゜。━

two days later and luke was gone, in new jersey and all you were left was the deep pit in your stomach of guilt and sadness. you missed him, much more than you thought you would and much more than you wished you would.

you were so overwhelmed with the guilty feeling that you couldn't help your impromptu trip to new jersey. and now here you were, standing in front of jack's apartment getting ready to knock.

but just as you were about to rap your knuckles against the door, the door opened and you were met with the face of your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend.

"y/n?"

"luke."

back to the shop ! ; navigation !

[gammaraydeath]

not to pit two bad bitches against each other but i've been replaying halo and thinking about how the human (so to speak) side of war is portrayed. in halo 2, you get to run around new mombasa for a bit, a major metropolitan city, but it's essentially a ghost town. i personally don't look around and think of the lives lived and lost. i'm more concerned with not catching a particle beam between the eyes. EDITING TO ADD because i forgot about halo 3 i'm so sorry dear. but it's sort of the same thing as halo 2 isn't it? there's a potential flood outbreak on earth, half of the continent of africa is glassed to contain it, and that's just like... sort of it. we don't even see it happen, we just know it does via conversation between rtas and hood. it's a footnote in the story that is really more about chief and cortana's relationship

while the atmosphere in odst is absolutely wonderful, i feel it sort of suffers from the same thing. the optional audio logs that let you listen to sadie's story do help though. reach did the best job out of the bungie titles. you evacuate civilians from reach and watch shuttle transports get shot down. you watch new alexandria get glassed to shit. but while saving reach is the primary goal of noble squad (and later, when they realize they can't, making sure cortana gets off of reach safely), it still doesn't quite hit the same way the intro of mass effect 3 does

the reapers hit hard and fast and with nearly no warning. although the loss of life you personally witness is comparable to reach (shuttles getting shot down), you get to interact more with civilians and soldiers alike throughout the game. OF COURSE - this is because it's an action RPG. halo is decidedly not that. it's a conceit of the genre. there is more room in the narrative for mass effect to explore this side of the story. but still; you make the decision to tell civilians and children to stay safe or join the cause. and if you ask them to fight, you are asking them to die. what other choice is there? it's death today and hopefully others will live tomorrow, or certain death for everybody, period. you need to stall the reapers long enough to build the crucible, push back against them to buy yourself more time. and the only way to do that is throw numbers at them. people. it's a horrible decision to have to make. you find data pads from people's daily lives scattered around, you receive emails from people begging you to save their loved ones, you overhear conversations between people who had witnessed absolute hell

there's a lot of things i love about both games but man. that aspect of mass effect 3 always gives me something to chew on. the despair of it all and the stubborn hope in the face of it.

[smilepilled]

a compilation of love letters (/community, familial, friendly, fellowship, etc.) from me, marcela, to many different people who have had a positive impact on me. please take your time to find your own blog, and please have a lovely day. i may update this throughout time, so keep an eye out for your blog handle here!

will not be in any particular order. ❤️‍🩹

BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE KEEP IN MIND — I MAY NOT FULLY BE ABLE TO CORRELATE YOUR BLOG AND YOUR DISCORD ACCOUNT! that's a skill issue from me, and it doesnt mean i dont care-- its just extremely hard for me, personally. ive been trying to get better at it, but i hope my messages still manage to be something nice even if i didnt manage to link your blog to your personal discord presence. sorry, and thank you ♡

@radiomogai — 🎙📻📡🧮

i think not enough people say this, but you're a very important figure in the mogai community. your disclaimers and warnings to the masses that lurk through many tags and blogs are not only heard, but cherished. i remember being intimidated by you up until actually interacting with you, and youre a joy to be around. i still laugh at the time i made the christmas picture and added you as an actual radio; you are remembered fondly. i greatly appreciate your presence in this community beyond the archival, because you yourself are great. as in, a lovely company, a dear friend. i have so much i owe to you way above the themes or archival, but you also do a great job with your archive. i greatly respect you, and feel happy in your presence. thank you for being here, seriously. i hope i get the chance to do more to help you out whenever you need it. you're the one of the most patient and gentle people ive seen in this community, and its almost shocking with how people test patiences all around. thank you

@rwuffles — 🟩🟦🟥🟪🟨

mogaiblr jesus... indeed! you make such lovely things and you genuinely terrify me when i see that your queue is still at 400 after a bajillion posts (positively terrific). aside feom that, you are genuinely such a ray of sunshine, watching you play tetris leaves me in awe and the moments ive shared with you are very cherished to me. i like talking to you and youre incredibly kind, despite people testing you and The Horrors. i hope i can get to talk to you more, so i can properly get to communicate how cool you are to you, directly. your presence is strong and felt throughout the entirety of the spaces you're in; but don't forget, you're not a president or a professional, you're one of your fellows. should you ever need help or time to breathe, im sure your community will have your back-- i can definitely say i do. please be kind to yourself, and please take care. youre genuinely precious to be around and im sure a plethora of people agree. you are the little golden critter amongst us, and i feel like maybe sometimes you may not feel like it-- dont worry, we will always be here to remind you. youre the sun where your community basks and dances, and you're here with us too! thank you

@scr-ppup — 🪖🌫💣🥽

i genuinely love the stuff you cole up with, and the kindness that you extend to people-- the one of which youve also extended to me. maybe its a silly thing to mention, but youve helped me a lot in times where i couldnt even do a simple little descriprion for a flag. and it means a lot to me, regardless of how small this gesture may be to other people. you are genuinely so comforting to be around, i know i may be wrong but i feel like i have a huge bodyguard behind me chatting and drinking tea when im near you. i really like seeing you interact with people and im always happy to interact with you, even if it happens not so often. your creations never cease to amaze me and theres times where i squeal seeing something you make. you are truly one of the most badass, yet kindest people here. i mean it. thank you

@gender-mailman — ❤️‍🩹💌🩸🔪

you were one of the first people i had courage to interact with in mogaiblr, if i remember correctly-- back when i was themed as a velvet worm. your blog and presence SCREAMED friendliness (and BPD), and i just felt really reassured in it. regardless of your scrumptious creations (pallettes and symbols 🤌), you're such a ball of energy and you're so silly, and of course, extremely easy to talk to. it really makes me smile remembering when i was afraid to ask about when i should join the Evil Mogai Business, worried it'd be phrased poorly, and you just said that you did exactly what i was planning-- it was such a relief. despite the lack of recent "bug talking to you" activities, i want to thank you for the comfort youve brought to me, and the kindness youve shown whenever i talked to you. you're one of the most passionate and easily-talkable folks i know, bonus points for you being brazilian. thank you

@lovesse — 💥🎀💄💗

you are THE "popular IT girl" figure in this community, to me (unsure if you're a girl, im going purely from vibes though). as in, i've looked up to you since the very beggining. your presence is strong and assuring, and your creations are the fucking peak of this realm. some of your terms resonated so well with me that i wondered where the cameras were (jokingly of course). but aside from that, you've always been a very positive figure to me, and i'm always very happy seeing activity from you. i know you've been through a lot in this community, and i hope you don't mind bringing your presence in it up, but you've done so much for it and i need people to acknowledge it. we don't know eachother very well, and we haven't talked much outside of tumblr evil business, but your presence makes me glad. thank you for always being such a great lighthouse for the seadwellers in this community. youre a greatly inspirational figure and you are charm-maxxing (/platonic, "girl you rock!" coded?). thank you

@laughdiamond — 🌻🌿🌾🌱

you!!!! youuuu started ALL of my curiosity or this community. if i had someone to thank for making me deep-dive into goodfaith, mogai and community, its you. your blog was the first i found after the times i lurked in pinterest for the time i hoarded xenogenders and microlabels-- a linked post, and i found my way to your blog. the yaoyao conductor theme, extremely eyecandy-ful, i remember getting sparkly eyed at your blog and creations. i think i know a good amount of them from memory (but its always difficult to remmeber the names, thats my skill issue whatsoever), which goes to shoe just how much of an impact your presence around these parts had. and im not trying to be parasocial, you genuinely did help me, eye-to-eye telling you this. im sorry i never properly expressed to you my appreciation, up until it was far too late (seen as youve left this place, with rightful motive). you're always gonna be a fond memory to me, you're the nostalgia blog of this community for me. i full-heartedly thank you to no end for what your blog has done to help me, regardless of being < the blog that got me into mogaiblr >. dont ever apologize for it, either, i knoe theres negative aspects to this space but YOU are a part of the good aspects. once again, thank you for your lovely creations, thank you for what youve done for me, and thank you for your presence in times before. thank you

@lunentity — ✨️🔮🌙🪩

YOU! the moon in its mystique magnificence, giving terms to people like meteors with fun gifts from the cosmos. you are such an ICON to me, genuinely such a huge inspiration as well. talking to you is also never scary or the like, youre such a kind and easy-going person. surely im not the closest to you, but it doesn't take away from what i say, you are extremely easy to be around, and thats something i really appreciate. im always happy to tag you in a post with the moon mentioned, or something that i see and go "OH! MOONY WOULD LOVE THIS!" on the spot. you are extremely kind and sweet, like a cold day when youre wrapped in 4 heavy blankets playing animal jam with a bag of snacks and soda. your presence is felt in what is reassuring and friendly. i have not checked up on you lately, but i hope you're okay, and all is well for you. you're such a kind and heart-warming person, i am grateful for our interactions and convos. thank you

@kiruliom — 🧸🌸🌊🩸

we may not interact a whole lot, but YOU are so whimsical. no, seriously, you are so joyful its astonishing. and you always manage to keep your cheermaxxed status despite speaking up on multiple important topics, which i find very balance pilled and awesome. youre not scary despite your ghostface motifs, and i think youre like a uncle/aunt figure (whichever word you personally would use), a kind of distant yet kindly relative in the eyes of the liomogai community; which i also strive to be, so its nice to see YOU recreate it so well. we havent talked (much?) personally, so i think this is more how i view you currently havent spoken not to you in personal. you remind me of the animal jam Crystal Sands OST, and thats one of the biggest compliments i can give-- its very directly related to you being comforting, so i hope you know your presence is very welcoming. your terms are a CHEF'S KISS to me, and i feel very happy whenever you post. i think

@buntress — 🐇🧨🔪🔗

i look up to you like an autistic little thing staring up with HUGE bug eyes. i am to this day so sorry and apolocheeseful for the pride star incident, but i know youve since understood that i made a mistake and youre chill about it. i LOVE your terms, and i swallow your posts without chewing on them like a sucuri giant brazilian snake. genuinely feel very happy when i see a post from you, or when interaction occurs. youre so so cool and kick-ass to me, youre like the big sibling that i see being punk rock and cheer on. i dont even know if youre older than me, probably so, but regardless youre SUPER cool. like the punk rock hare of the punk rock club. despitw that, you're super kind and nice to talk to, and i want to make sure i get some more interaction action (/caseoh phrase) with you, because you're genuinely super friend coded. im sorry i didnt say much, but i hope its enough to at least make you smile, you definitely deserve it. thank you

@the-astropaws — 🥀🪶♥️🧸

prepare for trouble, and make it double... to the two QUEERS running this blog, you two are too kind to be real sometimes. i genuinely love the stuff made around these parts (the blog), and how you speak up about issues in the community with eloquence and well-put wording. i appreciate this blog and the two persons behind it; you two are super swell to be around. i still remember the purple theme and it makes me happy to remember that i remember the theme, becahse it means you two made your way into my head properly. thank you for your presence so much, its so stress-free to send an ask or talk to you, and i know we may not have interacted a whole lot but i appreciate your presences greatly. thank you so so so much for being around, and for your gentle words. thank you

@rabidbatboy — 🪰🩸🦴⛓️

alright... who's SLURRING it up around here? okay, anyways, your posts and creations have given me so much closure and happiness. and thats that. your roachgirl, muttgirl, roachdyke and gay flags are so good it makes me want to recite popular tiktok phrases like "DROP ANOTHER COINING POST, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!" or the like. your presence is INCREDIBLY strong and felt whenever you're around-- i can easily, immediately go "oh thats the fightclub guy! thats the uncledyke! ohhhh thats the punk ass dude from tumblr! oh hell yeah!" when i see you talking. and despite the fact you are a very strong figure, you're ironically really easy to talk to! i actually used to be very intimidated by and < Oh My God You Can Actually Kill Me If You Decide To Do So Please Spare This Bug> towards you, but noe you're just... fellow uncle. fellow dudebro. i feel very happy whenever i see you because it means youre out there rawdogging life, and that means i've got a chance too. i love your fight club references and your entire vibe, you are very positively what i can describe as "the type of person that makes me want to get competitive". but even with that, youre incredibly patient and generous (despite how people test your patience). thank you

@nqvo — 🦢🪞🌫🪷

my nephew. my sweet nephew. oh you absolute struggler, you NEED to make more terms that people will love instead of assets that people will steal. you get so rightfully pissed at the things ed*tblr has going on, and i think you would profit from a change of space, because holy hell does it hurt when i get close to editblr instead of coinblr. you're always so fucking angry and i'm HERE for it! i love listening to you complain and make the points you make, because SOMEHOW you're always correct about things, and it baffles me that your rage is contained despite the horrors you witness and endure. but aside from that, i treasure you as family and im so glad to know you and be able to share a GROUPCHAT with you. whenever i hear you talk of your interests and when you have the faggotry episodes, i feel very happy. your happiness is important to me, and i better fucking see you start being nicer and nicer and nicer and nicer to yourself. youre unbelievably well put together considering how much people push your buttons, sometimes i wish i could send meteors to the people bothering you, or that you give them a piece of your mind. but you and i know its not worth it, so i'll also be glad to hear what you have to say in the < melancholic rupture far deep into the sea >, amongst our friends. people like you a lot, son (/like a old dude talking to a young lad), and i hope you see that its all because you're YOU, not anything else. your bravery and your perseverance make me hope for better times, and i hope you can let yourself ask for help whenever you need it-- to me, or in general. your friends love you, and we all got you. thank you

@praysia — 🎧💠🎀🔌

tranny... faggot... dyke... slur-a-tron... my best friend in slurhood. the slurmaxxer. you are such a lovely friend and i love to hear your yap sessions, and i absolutely adore when you talk about your manmade horror yaois. i love slinging slurs at you and when you use the :pathetic: emoji. you are genuinely such a great friend and your presence makes me raise my arms into the air and go "THE SLURS ARE HERE!!!!". please never ever shut the fuck up or im gonna die miserably like a slug with salt on it. please never give up. youre very motivational to me because youve been through so many life-ending things and still you persist. i like to punch you and stuff haha cool dynamic, but i also genuinely appreciate when youre around. i may not know you all too well on the idyera iceberg, but i sure as hell appreciate you regardless. youre like if the phrase "man's best friend" was a person, because youre a stupid dog and one of the best friends i have, even if you havent unearthed your most horrifying life stories near me. i dont need you to, i just know youre my good friend fagalo. dearest fagoba seradykei mutual. i will hase you with hammers and hold you up into the air. thank you for being here to this day, you fucking liberal!!!!!! youre a joy to be around and i always smile when im near you. youre like a fountain of joy, despite being a mentally ill bitch; youre seriously a lovely person to be around, and i hope you feel like you can rely on me when you need help, even if youre more of a haf than me. thank you

@arachnwife — ⚙️🌈🔪🎉

you are so correct all the time it almost makes me angry (positively). i love seeing you in convos and i love the stuff you make, and im SOOO fucking happy you made a icon blog because ive been complaining about exclusionist icon makers for the past months, and youre like jesus christ coming back for making a icon blog without being a prick... i love conversations with you, and whenever i spot you its like the animal jam best guess game and im winning the spider questions. i also have a passing feeling, a slight suspicion that you might like ticci toby (just a mere impression HEHSHRHKRKTK). youre so chill its almost like eating ice cream and getting brainfreeze-- without the agony though, positively chilling. thank you for being around. i really really want to talk to you more so sometimes i show up and say something and pray for god to bestow a convo upon us. but i'll keep putting more effort into talking to you, because you are PAWESOME! very nice to be around you. keep up the good shtuff up dude, i really appreciate it. thank you

e

@icwdtea / @puriette-archived — 🐶🧣🍰🍁

OUPY!!!!! THATS OUPYYYY!!! THATS OOMPHIEEEE!!!! MY OOMPHIE OUPYYYY... THE MUSIC MISER!!!! you are the physical manifestation of the autumn season to me. i can layer clothes, get nice and cozy, feel the chill fresh breeze on my face, but never will i have to freeze, overheat, or be uncomfortable around you. you've gone and you go through so much, and it only ever seems to make you be kinder to defy bitterness-- and thats something big. something special, shiny, precious, and i think it perfectly represents you; youre warm like < three fluffy blankets > during a freezing winter night, a sweet and soft slice of cake with tons of chocolate involved (icing, filling, etc.), youre like a hug from a old friend you havent seen in forever. you, too, are like the word "man's best friend", much like our slurmaxxing canine friend; you are the peace after a horrible storm, you are the tbeautiful things in life, a smile exchanged between one and a stranger. you are the sweet melodies of music without vocals, the gentle humming of a loving familiar, the warm air around a fireplace. your kindness and your loveliness may be accompanied by rabid behavior, but that will never take away from your love-natured self. you are so many goof things i cannot say, and i hope you know it goes beyond just being perceived-- its something you are, and im grateful for you being around to this day. i hope we can talk more often. thank you

[notiddygothgf]

20. Leaving

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ I'll fucking kill you. ❞

★ c.w.: violence, drinking, aki being his canonical kick-ass self, the most satisfying ending ever.

★ a/n: HELLO HELLO MY BABIESSSS!!!!! its here omfg. the chapter i have been itching to release since this past summer! I don't wanna say too much so I'll keep it short -- strap in! It's a ride. Y'all have been waiting for this one. (COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT AWAY PLS i crave ur validation)

★ w.c: .7.2k

shameless ; chapter index

THE FIRST PERSON you saw when you arrived, again, was Himeno. She was wearing a black dress tonight – not entirely unlike your own, but certainly a hell of a lot more conservative. When she saw your head peeking out through the crowd, she grinned, waving her arms around in recognition.

Quickly, you and Aki made your way over to her. She reeled you in with a gloved hand, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"Thank God, you're here. I was beginning to die of boredom," She chuckled. Giving Aki a pat on the back, she added, "You two look dashing tonight."

Somewhere behind you, Denji straightened up, asking, "What about me? Am I dashing?"

Himeno regarded him with a familiar laugh – truly, the only appropriate response to anything Denji said, "Yeah, little dude. You look like a mini version of Captain Hardass over here."

Denji grinned, clearly taking the comparison as a compliment. Aki shot Himeno an unimpressed look, though it quickly softened as his gaze landed on you.

"I just spotted someone I know," Aki explained, adjusting his tie. "One of my old coworkers is here, and I should go say hello."

"Go on, then," Himeno teased, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't let us hold you up. I'll keep her safe."

Aki ignored her entirely, stepping closer to you instead. His hand brushed against your arm as he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It wasn't long, but it carried the quiet affection he always managed to express, even in public.

"Ooooh," Himeno cooed, her grin spreading wide as she placed a hand dramatically over her chest. "Someone get the two lovebirds a room."

Aki sighed, pulling back with a hint of exasperation. "You're insufferable." He cast you a final glance, his voice softening. "Might be a while before I'm back. He can chat quite a bit."

With that, he turned and strode off into the crowd, his sharp silhouette disappearing among the throng of guests.

Himeno turned to you, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "You're good for him, you know. He's so... uptight. It's hilarious to watch him let his guard down around you."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Maybe. Or maybe he's just tired of you calling him Captain Hardass."

"Never," Himeno replied with mock solemnity, before her grin returned. "Anyway, speaking of missing men, you'll be glad to know that your husband will not be in attendance."

You laughed. "That's a relief. I was dreading running into him."

"Understandably," Himeno said with a smirk. Then, she sighed. "These things are boring as hell without a little something to spice them up. Speaking of..." She looped her arm through yours, steering you toward the bar. "Let's liven this up."

The bar was crowded, but Himeno had no trouble making her presence known. "A round of shots!" she declared, rapping her knuckles on the bar. "Something that burns on the way down. Vodka."

"You're going to regret this tomorrow," you teased, shaking your head.

"Maybe," Himeno replied, shrugging as the bartender lined up the glasses. "But at least I'll have fun tonight. Cheers to that, huh?"

She handed you a shot, raising hers high. "To alcoholism."

You grinned. "To surviving this party."

The glasses clinked, and you both downed the shots. The fiery warmth spread through you immediately, and you couldn't help but laugh as Himeno slammed her glass on the bar with a triumphant grin.

"That's the stuff," she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Now let's see what kind of trouble we can get into before Aki comes back to ruin the fun."

Her wicked grin was contagious, and you smiled back, already knowing the night was about to get a lot more interesting.

Somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes later, you and Himeno were slumped over the bar, indulging in a hushed conversation about your personal lives.

"I've been crashing with Aki for a while now," You drunkenly rambled, waving your hand in the air while the other one cradled a vodka cranberry. "Mostly just to avoid the situation. But– hic– I know... I know I have to go back for my shit eventually, you know?"

You recognized this bar – this venue. In this very same spot, what seemed like eons ago, this was where you had spoken to Aki alone for the first time.

"Is he here with you tonight?" He asked.

You felt your eyes widen. "No, he's in Kyoto..." you muttered, taking a few more much-needed chugs of the wine.

He hummed. If he thought something about that, he didn't say anything. "The wine matches your lipstick."

He hesitated for a moment before leaning in, his tongue flicking out to taste the salt on your skin. The muscle was hot and wet, drawing a line from your knuckles to your wrist. Perhaps it was the warmth of his mouth on your hand, or the way he peered up at you through his half-lidded eyes and lowered lashes so shamelessly. Perhaps it was the wine in your system doing its work already. Either way, you couldn't help the heat that spread over your neck and your face – the stir in your chest that you tried to ignore.

"Because," He said, "You were dancing with someone else."

Your face was alight, on fire – you blamed it on the booze. 

"Jealous?" You asked, only partially joking.

You should have known better. You should have stopped drinking about thirty minutes ago. No, better yet; you should have walked away the moment he offered to buy you a drink. You should have done the right thing from the start – turn away from the captivating Devil Hunter and his soft lips against your hand, the desire in his eyes – but you didn't.

"Maybe I am," He replied, voice deep and velvety and – fuck .

"Stop, just–" You interrupted him. You sounded a little breathless when you said it. "Stop it. Go back inside. Go–" You swallowed, voice trembling only slightly as you finished, "Go back to Himeno."

His eyes were unwavering pools of passion – ocean waves crashing against the sandy color of his skin, luring you deeper into the abyss. He lifted a perfectly arched brow, uttering innocently, "Why? I want to be where you are."

"Wow... So... It's really over between you and Tanimoto, huh?" Himeno inquired, finger tracing the rim of her fourth beer (the one that followed 3 shots).

You sighed, laying your head down on the cold, comforting surface of the bartop. "I'm looking into divorce attorneys."

"Now you sound your age," She smiled at you, drumming her fingers on the glass. 

Playfully, you shoved Himeno, though it took a great deal of effort – and laughter – for her to stay upright on her stool.

"Your husband would flip if he saw you in that dress," She continued.

"Good," You chuckled back.

The two of you sat there for what may, perhaps, have been a moment too long, melting into puddles of giggles. It was undeniably childish, sure, but you couldn't help but feel, for a moment, as if you were transported to the past once more – like the two of you were 20 instead of 25, eyes still bright, dreams still intact. Still just girls, instead of grown women with a missing eye and a missing marriage.

Furthermore, you were undeniably tipsy.

And, of course, that was the moment Aki decided to come back. You caught a whiff of his signature aroma first, that deep, masculine cologne of his, the scent of nicotine lingering faintly in the air, as if he had just stepped out for a smoke. Then, he took a seat behind you, placing a kiss on your shoulder. 

"Sorry I took so long," Aki sighed, smoothing his hands over the top of his ponytail. "Are you two... drunk?"

You and Himeno looked at him, then back at each other, then broke out into another fit of laughter. 

"I was gone 30 minutes," He quirked a brow. His tone was so deep, so commanding that you couldn't help the shiver that went down your spine. When the bartender came by, he added, "House beer, please."

"Finish my vodka cranberry?" You grinned, sliding the red-filled glass over to Aki.

Aki took a taste test from it. When he decided he didn't hate it, he downed the rest of it in one go.

"I missed you," You sighed, laying your head on Aki's shoulder, suddenly caring a whole lot less about who could have been watching now that you knew your husband wouldn't be showing up.

And, even though he knew you were only drunk, Aki smiled at you and replied, "Missed you too, troublemaker."

The bartender slid Aki's beer across the counter, and he caught it with practiced ease. He didn't hesitate, lifting it to his lips and chugging nearly half of it before setting the glass back down.

"You wouldn't believe the stuff she used to pull," Himeno began, pointing at you with a lazy, lopsided grin. "Like this one time—this absolute genius—decides she's gonna face a Devil solo because, and I quote, 'I'm too cool to wait for backup.'"

"Himeno," you groaned, burying your face in your hands. "I'm trying to leave that in the past."

Aki raised an eyebrow, already intrigued. "What happened?"

"What happened?" Himeno snorted. "She got yeeted into a tree like a rag doll. Spent a week limping around HQ and blaming it on bad shoes."

"It was the shoes!" you protested, though your laughter was already betraying you.

"Oh, sure, blame the footwear," Himeno teased, giving you a playful shove. "Meanwhile, I had to haul your sorry ass out of there before the Devil could finish the job."

"You could've let that out," you muttered, shooting a half-hearted glare at her.

Aki smirked over the rim of his glass. "You've always had a talent for biting off more than you can chew."

"Oh, like you've never done something reckless?" you shot back, narrowing your eyes at him.

"I think you're the most reckless thing I've ever done," Aki admitted, leaning back slightly, his tone as smooth as his cologne. 

That earned a loud laugh from Himeno, who slapped the bartop in delight. "Damn straight!"

You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. The three of you fell into easy conversation, the kind that came naturally when years of friendship had already worn down the edges of formality. Himeno was in her element, weaving stories that had you cringing and laughing in equal measure.

As Aki drained the last of his beer, you glanced around the bar, and a quiet realization washed over you. It was the same place where you'd first met him, back when everything felt more uncertain and yet somehow lighter. You didn't mention it, though. It wasn't the kind of thing that needed to be said.

A new song blared through the speakers, upbeat and infectious, and Himeno perked up immediately. "Alright, no more sitting around," she announced, hopping off her stool with surprising grace. "You two are dancing with me."

"What?" you blurted, but Himeno was already grabbing your hand and Aki's, tugging you both toward the tiny dance floor in the center of the room.

"Himeno, come on," Aki groaned, though he made no real effort to stop her.

"No excuses!" she declared, her voice cutting through the music. "You're both dancing, and that's final."

The three of you stumbled onto the dance floor, surrounded by a scattering of other bar-goers who were equally uncoordinated but didn't seem to care. At first, you felt ridiculous, but Himeno's infectious energy was impossible to resist. She twirled you around dramatically, nearly sending you both into a fit of giggles, while Aki stood stiffly to the side, his awkward attempts at movement making you laugh even harder.

"Come on, Aki!" Himeno called, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the fray.

He sighed but finally gave in, his usual stoicism cracking as he attempted a halfhearted spin. It was terrible, and you couldn't stop laughing.

"You're the worst dancer I've ever seen," you teased, clutching your stomach.

"Yeah, well, at least I'm trying," he shot back, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

The three of you danced like fools, uncoordinated and carefree, the kind of reckless abandon you hadn't felt in years. You tilted your head back at one point, looking up at the ceiling with a wide, flushed smile as the lights blurred above you.

This is bliss.

"I'll be right back!" Himeno offered over the music, excusing herself with a curt little nod. Then she was off, and it was just you and Aki alone with a dizzying amount – or lack – of space between the two of you.

You turned your gaze back to him, only to find his eyes already on you. He hesitated for a moment, as if weighing something, before extending a hand. "Dance with me?" 

You blinked, startled. Aki's tone was soft, quieter than usual, but there was something steady about the way he held your gaze. Your chest tightened, your pulse quickening, and before you could second-guess yourself, you slid your hand into his. 

He tugged you gently closer, his other hand finding its place at the small of your back. The warmth of his touch seeped through the fabric of your dress as the two of you began to sway, the soft, lilting melody guiding your movements. 

For a few precious moments, it was just you and Aki, the world outside fading into an inconsequential blur. You leaned into him, your head resting lightly against his shoulder. His cologne lingered faintly in the air between you, mixing with the subtle scent of smoke that always seemed to cling to him. 

"Do you remember the night we met? We were dancing, just like this," he murmured, his lips curving into a slight smile. His voice was low, intimate, as if the words were meant only for you. 

You snorted softly, your cheeks warming. "Of course I do. You complimented my lipstick like you didn't give a damn about me being married" 

"I didn't" he said, his tone teasing but sincere. He glanced down at you, his dark eyes catching the dim light in a way that made your stomach flip. "As far as I'm concerned, you were mine from the moment I first saw you." 

Your breath hitched, the warmth in your cheeks spreading through your chest. You tilted your head up slightly, meeting his gaze. "You're a devil." 

The moment hovered on the edge of something unspoken, something neither of you seemed ready to give words to. But just as you opened your mouth, something caught your eye across the room, and the fragile stillness shattered. 

Your gaze snagged on a figure near the entrance. Familiar. Too familiar. 

Your stomach lurched. The room seemed to tilt, the lights and music warping into an overwhelming rush. It was him. Your husband. Tanimoto. His sharp, cutting eyes were scanning the room, and you could feel your pulse roaring in your ears. 

You gasped audibly, your body going rigid in Aki's arms. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice immediately dropping into something low and protective. His hand instinctively tightened on your waist, as if to anchor you. 

"It's him," you managed, the words tumbling out in a shaky whisper. "Tanimoto. He's here." 

Aki followed your gaze, his brows knitting together as he caught sight of the man in question. His expression darkened, the calm detachment he usually wore giving way to something sharper, more dangerous. 

"It's okay," he said firmly, his voice like a steady current pulling you back from the brink of panic. "Just stay with me. He can't do anything." 

"No." The word came out too fast, too forceful. You pulled away from Aki, your movements jerky and uncoordinated. "I... I can't. I need to go. I need—" 

Before he could stop you, you reached into his jacket pocket and yanked out the carton of cigarettes and lighter you knew he always carried. Your hands were trembling, but your grip on them was firm. 

"Hey," he said, his tone sharpening with concern. "What are you doing?" 

"I need a smoke," you muttered, already turning toward the door. Your heart was racing, your chest tight as the need to escape consumed you. "Just... leave me alone, Aki." 

"Wait—" he started, but you were already moving, weaving through the crowd with single-minded determination. 

The cool night air hit you like a slap as you pushed through the heavy door. You stumbled a few steps forward, your breath hitching as you fumbled with the carton in your hands. It took a few tries to get the lighter to work, the trembling in your fingers making it harder than it should've been. 

Finally, the cigarette caught, and you took a shaky drag, the acrid taste burning your throat. You exhaled slowly, the smoke curling upward and disappearing into the dark sky. 

The world outside was quieter, the distant hum of the city a stark contrast to the pounding chaos inside the bar—and inside you. You leaned back against the cold brick wall, the rough surface biting into your bare shoulders as you stared at the cigarette between your fingers. 

Your chest still felt tight, your thoughts spiraling as you tried to push away the image of Tanimoto's face, of the way his eyes had cut through the crowd. You closed your eyes, pressing a hand to your temple. 

He's not supposed to be here.

He wasn't supposed to come.

What the fuck.

The cold air brushed against your skin as you leaned against the brick wall, the faint hum of the city around you. Your hands trembled slightly as you took another drag from the cigarette, the acrid taste burning your throat. You exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl up into the dark sky, disappearing into the night. It was oddly calming, the rhythmic motion of pulling in and releasing air grounding you, even if it did little to quiet the chaotic storm swirling in your mind. 

He's not supposed to be here. 

The thought repeated itself in your head, a mantra that was both defiant and helpless. He wasn't supposed to show up. You were supposed to be free of him—of that life. Tonight wasn't about him. 

You'd come here with Himeno, to have a little fun, to laugh, to forget. You weren't supposed to be thinking about him. You weren't supposed to be thinking about the years of your marriage—the hollow, suffocating years that had stretched on long after the love had faded. 

You felt the weight of that thought settle in your chest. What had you been thinking, all this time? That he would just let go? That the pieces of your life could be so easily swept away like dust? 

The cigarette burned your fingers as you took another drag, the heat in your hand reminding you of something else—the way your skin had burned under his touch, how easy it had been to fall for the lies, the promises. 

Had he ever really seen you? Or were you just another thing to control? 

You shuddered slightly, the cold air biting at the back of your neck. You couldn't bring yourself to think about it too long. What had been done was done. And yet, it felt like there was still so much left unsaid, so much unfinished. 

You tried to push the thoughts away, to focus on the now, on the present. On Aki. 

Your eyes closed for a moment, and you could almost feel the warmth of him beside you, the way he made everything else fade into the background. He makes me feel alive, you thought, the words coming almost involuntarily. Aki had always been the one who could make you forget about everything else—the past, the pain, the weight of your choices. 

But then, that voice. 

The familiar sound of his voice was a sharp intrusion on your thoughts, cutting through the fog of alcohol and the haze of cigarettes. 

"I thought you quit?" 

Your heart dropped into your stomach like a stone. The sudden jolt of recognition was enough to make you stiffen, the cigarette almost falling from your fingers. The sound of his voice—so steady, so familiar—was the last thing you'd expected to hear at that moment. 

You didn't even need to look. You could already feel his presence, heavy and oppressive, before you even turned your head. And when you did, there he was. 

Tanimoto. 

The man who had once been your whole world. The man you had promised forever to. The man who, somehow, had never stopped haunting you. 

His eyes were sharp, scanning you with a cold intensity that made your stomach twist. His gaze dropped to the cigarette between your fingers, the slight furrow of his brow telling you everything you needed to know. 

You had to fight to keep your voice steady. "I thought you weren't coming tonight?" You asked the question before you even realized it. The anger came faster than the fear, but it wasn't real anger—not yet. Just the rush of adrenaline from being caught, from seeing him when you hadn't expected to. 

Tanimoto didn't answer right away, but you could feel the weight of his gaze on you, as if he was trying to figure you out, like you were still the same person he'd left behind. But you weren't. 

Not anymore. 

"I wasn't supposed to, but, I..." He paused, swallowing, and the tension between the two of you was so thick that you could have cut it with a knife. "Honestly, I just wanted to see you. You haven't been answering any of my calls, and I– I don't know..."

"It's for a good reason," You retorted, still not quite meeting his gaze even though you could feel him staring at you. Slowly, you pulled a long, deep drag from the burning stick between your fingertips.

He sighed. Then, stepping closer to you, on the same sidewalk where you had told Aki to go back to Himeno, that you were married so many nights ago, he added, "I think we should talk about this."

You visibly bristled at the words, his effect on you undeniable, but chose not to show your fear. "What's there to talk about?"

"The divorce?" He answered, like it should have been obvious (It was).

Your heart dropped. Clearing your throat, you ducked away from his request. "Again... what more is there to say?"

He was closer, now. Close enough that you could hear the calculated breath he took, smell the beer on his breath. Though you hadn't seen him at the bar, you couldn't help but wonder if he had gotten drunk before coming tonight. Hell, knowing him, it was probably his drunkenness that led him to show up in the first place.

"I think you should reconsider. We had a great life together. I mean, we fought, but..." He trailed off, "Everyone fights. That's not... you can't just... leave because of that."

He was drunk. Still, you winced at the words. He really doesn't know why I'm leaving him.

Instead of honoring him with a reply, you continued to smoke in silence, taking another hit of your cigarette and then holding it this time – really feeling the ache of it, the burn of its tendrils wrapping around your windpipe. Then, like nothing had happened, you breathed out.

"I love you, you know," He slurred on, "More than anything."

Apparently feeling a burst of bravery, he reached for your spare hand. "Come home."

Come home.

Come home?

You withdrew your hand from his reach just as quickly. "I'm not– I'm not coming home, Tanimoto."

Hold your ground.

He can't control you.

Not anymore.

He stumbled backward, grumbling, "It's because of that fff-fuckin' captain, isn't it? What's his name again? Haya... zawa?"

"It's Hayakawa," You replied easily – and it was funny, really, how quickly the mere mention of his name breathed life back into your lungs, made you feel just a little bit stronger.

My love.

"Look," Tanimoto sighed. It was cold outside again, cold enough that his breath materialized in front of him. It was just the two of you outside – no one else. "I don't... I don't even care if you have an affair, just–" He hiccuped, "Come home. I'll take care of you. Promise."

He had never taken care of you before. It took you cheating on him for him to figure out how to do it? Or was it all a lie?

Just like everything else...?

"No, you won't," You replied, a half-smile crawling its way onto your face at the mere thought of Aki. "Not like he has."

He rolled his eyes. Leaning forward, then back – swaying a little in the wind – he groaned, "You don't know what you're talkin' about. That's not love, it's an... an infatuation."

That's not love.

What the hell would he know? You thought. For years, you had begged him for the bare minimum, begged him to take care of you, begged him to see you as a person, and he wanted to lecture you about what love was? You could have laughed right in his face.

Instead, you snapped, "Don't tell me what love is. You had years to figure that shit out, and all you ever managed to do was hurt me. That's not love."

Tanimoto froze, his eyes wide, as if he hadn't expected the venom in your words. For a moment, he was silent, blinking as if processing what you'd said. But the moment passed quickly, and he leaned in again, a flash of frustration crossing his face.

You didn't back down. Instead, you went on, the alcohol giving you a strange kind of courage, making your words tumble out before you could stop them. "He's tender with me. He listens, he cares, he sees me. He picked up the pieces you left behind. I have nothing more to say... We're in love."

Tanimoto's expression darkened, a flash of something between anger and disbelief crossing his features. He shook his head, disbelief etched across his face. "He can't give you what I can."

You scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. You shook your head, your smile more mocking than anything else. "Please," you chuckled, the alcohol making everything feel like a game. "You're about an eighth of the man he is. He's patient and loving, and– and he never makes me feel like shit, and the sex is fantastic. You could never please me the way he could."

The words were out before you could stop them, and you didn't even feel guilty. You just wanted him to know.

The silence that followed was thick, suffocating. For a split second, you thought you might've won this round. But Tanimoto's face twisted into a mask of rage, his hand snapping out to grab your wrist, his fingers digging into your skin with a force that made you wince.

"Say that shit again," he growled through gritted teeth.

A surge of adrenaline shot through your veins as you struggled to pull away from his grip. "I said–" you hissed, the words barely audible over the pounding in your ears. "I said you could never... please me the way he could."

And just as you thought you couldn't take any more of his hold, a voice rang out behind you, calm but commanding – a call of your name.

The moment you heard it, your pulse skipped a beat. You didn't have to look. You knew exactly who it was.

Aki stepped forward, his presence immediately shifting the air around you, the tension palpable as he squared off with Tanimoto. His eyes locked on the other man with a coldness that made everything else fall away.

"Let her go," Aki's voice was low but unmistakably firm, every word carrying weight.

Tanimoto didn't immediately release his grip, his eyes flicking to Aki, sizing him up. The tension between the two men crackled in the air, an unspoken understanding that neither of them were backing down. But the thing was, Aki wasn't giving in either. He stood his ground, the power in his stillness enough to make Tanimoto pause.

It was like a silent challenge between them.

"You're done here," Aki continued, his voice steady. "Let her go."

"So this is the dick you've been suckin' off while I've been gone," Tanimoto slurred, jabbing an accusatory finger in Aki's direction. "You happy knowin' you– hic– you broke up a home?"

Aki didn't flinch, didn't even blink. His stare was cold, like a stone, his gaze never leaving Tanimoto. He was so still it was as if time had slowed, and the world around him disappeared. The only thing that mattered now was you and the man who dared to lay his hands on you.

"I won't ask you again," Aki's voice was low, like a growl, but it was clear he wasn't backing down. "Let her go."

Tanimoto, with all the confidence of a man who had long forgotten how to lose, slapped you. The sting was immediate, hot, and sharp, burning against your skin. You barely had time to process it before his face was inches from yours, his breath foul and laced with whiskey. "You're mine, bitch," he hissed, his words thick with spite. "You always will be."

You recoiled, your skin crawling with the venom in his voice. But Aki's reaction was instantaneous.

In one smooth motion, Aki stepped forward, his hands gripping Tanimoto with the precision of a man who had already calculated his every move. He wrenched Tanimoto away from you, pulling him back like a ragdoll. The scream you let out was involuntary as you watched Tanimoto's body snap against the force of Aki's grip.

Everything seemed to freeze for a moment, and then Aki's fist connected with Tanimoto's face in a brutal, merciless punch. The sound of bone meeting bone was sickening, a sharp crack that reverberated through the night air. Tanimoto staggered back, his eyes wide with shock, blood already trickling from the corner of his mouth. He collapsed, unable to regain his balance, and hit the ground with a heavy thud.

Aki wasn't done.

Without even pausing to let Tanimoto recover, Aki grabbed him by the collar, lifting him effortlessly from the ground. The sheer strength in Aki's arms was enough to make Tanimoto's body hang limp in his grasp. Aki didn't hesitate—he drove his knee into Tanimoto's stomach with force, the sickening sound of impact echoing around the empty street. Tanimoto gasped for air, clutching at his midsection as he crumpled again, unable to stand.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a man," Aki's voice was ice-cold, dripping with disgust. His eyes burned with an anger that was unfamiliar to you—this wasn't the man you had come to know, calm and composed in all situations. This was someone else, someone who was willing to tear Tanimoto apart to protect you. Aki's foot came down with brutal precision, landing a punishing kick to Tanimoto's groin. "This is the least you deserve," he spat.

Tanimoto let out a choked gasp, crumpling further to the ground. His body was twitching in pain, but there was nothing he could do. He was too weak to retaliate, too humiliated to stand.

Aki took a step back, his chest heaving with heavy breaths, his fists still clenched in anger. He looked down at Tanimoto like a predator about to finish the job, his eyes filled with contempt. "Putting your hands on a woman," Aki said, his voice low but intense, his words cutting through the air. "I should kill you right here."

Tanimoto tried to rise again, his hands shaking as he pushed himself to his knees. His face was a wreck—bruised, bloodied, and his pride shattered. But even as he struggled, there was still rage in his eyes. With one final, defiant growl, he lunged at Aki, desperate to get one last punch in.

But Aki was faster.

Without hesitation, he stepped to the side, grabbing Tanimoto by the arm and twisting it behind his back with ease. Tanimoto let out a strangled yell, his face contorting in pain as he fell to the ground again, this time unable to rise.

Aki stood over him, his breathing still heavy but under control now. He was still seething, but he wasn't finished yet.

At this point, the rest of the crowd from inside the bar began to filter outside, drawn by the noise. Some looked on in surprise, others in confusion, but none of them dared to intervene. A few people approached you, checking on you, but your focus was on Aki—the man who had just shattered the last remnants of your past.

Tanimoto groaned, struggling to sit up, but his pride wasn't enough to hold him together anymore. He wiped blood from his mouth and staggered backward, his body shaking from both pain and the humiliation of being brought so low.

Aki's body was a wall between you and him, like a shield that wouldn't let Tanimoto come any closer. As Tanimoto finally stumbled to his feet, his eyes locked on you with pure malice. "Get away from my bitch," he hissed, the words thick with contempt.

Your heart slammed in your chest, a fire igniting inside of you as the word hit you like a slap. But before you could respond, Aki's voice cut through the night. "I'll break your fucking nose if you call her that again," he growled, stepping forward, his body a perfect wall of muscle and fury.

But this time, you weren't going to let him have the last word. The anger that had been simmering in your chest finally broke free, your voice loud and clear as you snapped, "Don't call me that. I'm not your bitch."

Tanimoto sneered, his lips curling into a venomous grin. "Like hell you aren't," he spat, his voice filled with a twisted sense of ownership.

Aki's presence next to you was solid, unshakable, but for the first time, you felt the power in your own words too. Tanimoto, though broken and beaten, didn't want to let go of the last bit of control he thought he had. But you were done with him—done with the lies, done with the manipulation, done with the abuse.

"Are you drunk?" Aki's voice was low, a quiet growl that barely masked the anger bubbling underneath. His words were clipped, measured, as though he were trying to keep himself from exploding. "Go home. You're embarrassing yourself."

Tanimoto's laugh was harsh and jagged, a hollow sound that made your skin crawl. "It's not fucking over until I say it is," he spat, swaying on his feet, his face flushed with the effort of staying upright. "Baby, come home. Please. This isn't over. You remember what we had, right? I love you. We built a life together."

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, his words a twisted version of everything you had once believed. "What life?" The words escaped before you could stop them, thick with bitterness. "What fucking life?" Your voice shook, but the defiance in it was sharp. "There's nothing left here, Tanimoto. Nothing."

For a moment, he just stared at you, disbelief spreading across his face like oil on water. The anger that had flared in his eyes faltered, replaced by something more dangerous—something darker. It was like he couldn't comprehend what you were saying, like he hadn't even realized how far gone things had truly been.

But then his expression twisted into something cruel, his grip on your arm tightening until you thought your skin might tear. "You don't mean that. We had something real, Baby."

The words burned your insides, but you stood tall, shaking your head. "Bullshit! That's not love, Tanimoto. Not even close."

A voice cut through the rising tension, startling you. "You lost, man. Get a grip." Denji's voice was casual, but there was a new edge to it, a calm confidence that sent a ripple through the crowd. 

You hadn't noticed him until now, his presence suddenly as solid as Aki's, his eyes hard and unblinking as he faced down Tanimoto. You had no idea how long he'd been there, but now, as he stood beside you, it felt like you weren't so alone.

Tanimoto swayed in Denji's direction, his lips curling into a sneer. "Stay out of this, kid," he slurred, his voice thick with contempt. But Denji didn't flinch. Didn't even blink. He just stood there, unmoving, like a wall Tanimoto couldn't break down.

You turned your head slowly, your eyes scanning the crowd that had gathered—Himeno, Makima, so many familiar faces, all of them watching. You felt like you were in a fishbowl, the eyes of the world suddenly too close, too suffocating. Aki wasn't paying attention to any of them. His eyes were locked on Tanimoto, burning with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

"Is she okay?" Aki's voice dropped, barely audible, but you could hear the undercurrent of rage there. "Did he hurt her?" The question was simple, but the way he said it—the way his jaw tightened as he took a step toward you—made you feel like the ground under your feet was shaking. Like everything that had been calm about Aki was unraveling before your eyes.

Denji spoke before you could answer. "She has a cut on her cheek. Looks like it's from his ring," he muttered, disgust clear in his tone as his gaze flicked to Tanimoto. "What a fucking joke."

The shift in Aki was so sudden, so terrifying, that for a moment, you couldn't breathe. His body tensed, every muscle pulling tight like a coiled spring. His face—his eyes—were nothing like the Aki you knew. This wasn't the quiet man you'd always relied on. 

This was someone else entirely.

He stepped forward, his voice low, rough with barely contained anger. "I'll fucking kill you." 

Tanimoto's face went pale, the bravado slipping from his eyes as his drunken haze flickered in and out. He opened his mouth to respond, but Aki didn't give him the chance. Before anyone could move, Aki's fist was flying through the air, landing with a sickening crack against Tanimoto's face. The sound of the punch echoed through the night, a brutal, unmistakable noise that left Tanimoto gasping for air, stumbling back.

"I'll put you down like the mutt you are–" Aki's words hit the air with a finality that sent a tremor through the crowd, his anger so palpable it was almost a living thing. Without hesitation, he was on Tanimoto, a force of nature in human form. His hand gripped Tanimoto's collar with the kind of cold precision that made the other man flinch before he was slammed hard against the brick wall. The sound was deafening—a crack that seemed to echo across the empty street.

Tanimoto's breath was knocked out of him, his wide eyes darting from Aki's face to the unforgiving wall behind him. Shock twisted his expression, his drunken stupor no match for the raw fury that burned in Aki's gaze. But Aki wasn't done. No, this wasn't some fleeting burst of anger; this was controlled, purposeful rage.

With a brutal shove, Aki sent Tanimoto stumbling forward, and in the same fluid motion, his knee drove into Tanimoto's stomach, the sickening sound of bone against bone making you flinch. Tanimoto let out a ragged gasp, the air torn from his lungs as he doubled over, crumpling like a ragdoll. But Aki wasn't done yet. No mercy. He wasn't going to stop until the man learned the gravity of his actions.

Tanimoto tried to push himself up, the effort weak and desperate, but Aki's boot came down on his ribs with the force of a freight train. The crack of bone was loud, sickening, and Tanimoto crashed to the ground with a pathetic groan, the fight drained out of him.

The crowd had gone silent. No one moved, no one breathed. The only sound was Tanimoto's labored breathing, his body a crumpled heap on the concrete. You stood frozen, your heart pounding in your chest, every beat a reminder of how quickly everything had spiraled out of control.

Tanimoto groaned again, weakly trying to crawl away, but Aki's glare pinned him in place. His face was a mess, bruised and swollen, his lip split and blood trickling down his chin. He gasped for breath, struggling to stay conscious, the remnants of his bravado crumbling beneath Aki's wrath.

Just as Aki stepped forward again, his eyes burning with more violence, a voice cut through the tension. 

"Aki," Himeno's voice was firm but not without concern. "Enough. You're making a scene." She stepped in between them, hands outstretched, but her words barely seemed to register in Aki's furious mind.

He wrenched his arm from her grasp, chest heaving as he caught his breath. In the heat of his fury, he didn't care about the eyes of the crowd, the murmurs, the stares. He only cared about one thing: making sure Tanimoto understood just how badly he had fucked up. His fist clenched, and with a final, disgusted snarl, he leaned forward, spitting on Tanimoto's prone form. The insult landed with as much weight as his earlier blows, his contempt for the man evident in the cruel gesture.

And then, finally, Aki turned to you. His hand reached out, steady and gentle, and though his body was still tight with anger, his touch was a grounding force. He didn't say anything at first—he didn't need to. His gaze was enough, a silent promise – Stay by my side. I'll protect you.

"Let's go," Aki's voice was lower now, still heavy with the remnants of his fury, but softer. "I'm taking you home."

You looked up at him, your heart still racing, the ache of the last few hours threatening to break through the dam you had built around it. You shook your head, the words spilling out before you could stop them. You whispered, a soft whimper in your voice, "No, don't... don't take me back there, he's—"

"My home," Aki interrupted, his voice firm, unyielding, a wall of strength you could feel in your bones. "If I stay here another minute, I'm going to jail."

His words settled over you like a shield. They weren't an offer. They weren't a plea. They were a statement. And there was no room for argument, not now. His grip on your arm tightened, not painful, but firm—reminding you, making sure you knew, that he wasn't letting go. Not of you. Not of this.

"Come on," Aki said, his voice taking on that quiet authority that always seemed to make the world around you fade just a little. "We're leaving."

You nodded, your breath catching in your throat. You couldn't even look back at the wreckage of your past, the life you had left behind. The crowd of familiar faces, the horror in their eyes, all of it seemed miles away now. All that mattered was Aki and the safe, unwavering calm he provided amidst the chaos.

With one last glance at the man who had once been your husband—crumpled on the pavement, humiliated and broken—you walked away. Away from everything you had tried to escape. Away from the life that had suffocated you for too long.

And for the first time in ages, you allowed yourself to revel in the feeling.

a/n: IT HAPPENEDDDDDD!!! FINALLYYYYYY!!!! OH MY GOD I was so fucking happy, i had to get that out. the moment we have all been waiting for. talk to me yall... what did we think. did i please u my bbs.... lmk..... ANYWAY!!!! this semester im bringing a new me, im so excited, and im also SO SAD BECAUSE shameless will be coming to an end in a few chapters!!! OMG!!! im so devastated.... but dw im sure i'll have another fanfic up to take its place (You know i love me some aki). Stay tuned! Comment! I love u all bunches x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[seokminfilm]

ratatouille | lee seokmin

🪄 pairing, lee seokmin x reader

🪄 warnings, non-idol au, fluff, est. relationship, lots of kissing, reader sits in seokmin's lap, pet names (seokmin uses baby, reader uses seok), giggly seokmin, reader teases him once or twice, seokmin has rapper material, soft seokmin hours

🪄 summary, in which your goofy boyfriend goes from serenading you from the bottom of his heart to singing about pizza and butchering the pronunciation to 'ratatouille' (spoiler: you still love him anyways).

🪄 author's note, requested by the wonderful @realmofclouds!! i swear she always comes through when i want to write but don't know WHAT to write🙏school has been hectic the past week (AND just got my period today) so just bear with me okay 😞 planning on writing for mingyu & bss very soon so stay tuned! anyways enjoy silly seokmin shenanigans!

🪄 word count, 803 | for @kstrucknet

🪄 now playing, loading, paipon

"hold me tighter, love me harder, kiss me like you have nothing better to do, baby," seokmin sings to you softly, strong arms encasing you in his grip as you sit in his lap, head leaned on his shoulder.

after a long and stressful day, both of you returned home to your "safe haven" (your shared apartment). after having a delicious, home-cooked meal (made by seokmin because he so strongly insisted on spoiling you), the two of you took to the couch to cuddle and chill out with each other.

"are you making this song up on the spot?" you question, almost lulled to sleep by the sound of seokmin's rich vocals. he loves seeing you like this─starry eyes wide and slightly tired-looking as you lie in his arms comfortably.

"maybe." the small smile on seokmin's bare face makes your chest swell with warmth, and you can't help but giggle to yourself, laughing at the lie his answer probably is.

the words he's putting together sound so perfect, so planned out, and it makes your heart flutter, knowing that he's just so full of love for you that he could make up a song for you on the spot.

"seok, you should make one up about pizza." you smile, shuffling up to sit up to your normal height. although seokmin's sad you've shifted from your comfortable spot in his arms, he can't stay sad forever, especially with that silly smirk on your face.

"pizza? but why pizza? don't you want something more romantic? like─oh, i don't know─how my relationship with you is the best thing to ever happen to me?" seokmin pecks your forehead as he finishes his last part of the sentence, and you flush at his words, giggling.

"we have to live it up. it's only 9 and i'm already getting sleepy. youth is now, remember?" you tease, and seokmin gives you a playful glare, holding back a laugh.

"bss made that song for boring people like you. i'm glad you realize it now," seokmin teases, and you gasp, giggling at seokmin's wide smile once he breaks character, unable to hold back a massive laugh.

"but seriously," you say, adjusting seokmin's shirt collar to reveal more of his collarbone as you give it pecks, causing seokmin to giggle and whine. "i want a song about pizza."

"what's the magic word, baby?" seokmin puts on his big, watery eyes as he stares up at you, and you fold quicker than you wanted to, sighing as you mutter a small "please?".

smiling like he's won the lottery, seokmin clears his throat, face twisting into an expression of thoughtfulness as he open and closes his mouth a few times, mimicking a fish.

"cheesy and gooey, so warm and chewy, not as good as my lovely girlfriend's love for ra─ratatou─ratatouille─" you snort when seokmin gets stuck on the pronounciation of ratatouille, and he can't help but laugh too, throwing his head back in laughter as the two of you giggle together.

"are you trying to be a rapper or something?" you say after gaining control of your uncontrollable laughter, sides still hurting from all of the laughing. seokmin sighs, wiping tears from his own eyes as he shrugs.

"i wanted to try it out, yeah─" seokmin cocks an eyebrow, facial expression unserious as he scrunches his nose up. "what? you think i could be as good as vernon is at rapping in karaoke?"

humming, you shake your head, fingers softly ghosting seokmin's bare face and sharp jawline as you slowly lean in, now just inches away from seokmin's lips as you press a soft kiss to them.

seokmin sighs softly and moans into your mouth as he lets his eyes flutter shut. at that moment, all you can taste is seokmin's lips on yours, and it's the only thing you think you'd ever want to taste again. finally pulling away from him, you kiss the tip of his nose, giving him a smile as you tilt your head to the side.

"actually, you know, maybe you could be a good rapper. just make sure you can pronounce the word ratatouille, and we should be good." you tease, and seokmin can't help but laugh again, nodding as he lays his head on top of yours.

"you were the one who told me to make a song about pizza when i was clearly trying to romance you." seokmin says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you chuckle to yourself, sighing as you fall silent for a few seconds.

"seokmin?" you ask quietly, and seokmin pauses, nose pressed into your scalp as he breathes in your scent.

"yeah?" he pulls away after a few seconds, kissing the top of your forehead as you smile up at him.

"i love you."

"and i love you."

[bluxb3rry]

❝𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊!❞↳෴੭˚ ༘♡·˚₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 💜

Charles Leclerc x Male Reader

Hey beautiful people, I'm back. For the people who follow me for stray kids, this is going to be very random. But F1 has me by the neck like a dog and so I wrote this.

There will be more Stray kids! That never stops.

Okay, some angst as a comeback, I hope you like it

(You're lucky I heard Madison Beer at the end, Mon Laferte was the inspiration for this whole one shot except the "happy" ending.)

As always, english is not my first language!

𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝑀𝑜𝓃 𝐿𝒶𝒻𝑒𝓇𝓉𝑒 - 𝒯𝓊 𝐹𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒶 𝒹𝑒 𝒬𝓊𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓇

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

Love is complicated in a world where the image is important, how do you act and who do you interact with it's the most valuable thing beyond your achievements. But love can win anything, breaking the rules that weren't written, becoming the most important thing between you and your lover

At least thats what some people think, people that dreams with open eyes and thinks that they can act whoever they want because they are in love, people like you. He told you, you tried to ignore it, because you though that he will risk everything to be able to tell you "i love you" in front of the cameras, that he would kiss you in those moments where the light of the cameras makes you blind. That the world would stop to be so important because you were together

Yet, you were there, away from the others, isolated. You couldn't even talk to him in front of his friends, people that already knew about you and him. But you were hidden, you can't be by his side "It's better that people do not misunderstood it" Misunderstand what exactly? Your love for him? How much you wished to kiss him after he wins a race?

-Hey, everything alright?-

You looked at your side when you heard his friends voice, Carlos, Charles's mate. One of the friends that knew about you two, mainly because of you and your trust for him. You could tell him things, thoughts, that you couldn't tell to Charles, wich was most of the time.

-Yeah-you whispered and then smiled at him-congratulations Carlos-you hugged him

That interaction made you be conscious about the world around you, the cheering, screams from fans, Monza GP. All the noises inside the garage and outsime of itself.

-Yeah well, its not a lot compared to him--he talked speaking louder, whispers aren't necessary when you can't hear your own voice--you should be hugging him

You separated, sighing a bit, then looking at Charles again--We decided not to, we couldn't risk it and be way to comfy in front of the cameras

-Decided? Both of you?--asked disbelievingly--or he just told you and you followed him

-Carlos-

-No Carlos Nada--his tone was angrier--this is one of the most important wins of Ferrari, wich he won, and you were his support every single time he felt bad, two years being with him and you cant hug him or something similar--he talked punching the tip of his finger in your chest--He should pass all his "fear" through his ass

-Let's not talk about that here--you said, almost begged--this is the best for us, i don't want to make him do anything

-But he makes you do everything that he wants-

You were gonna keep fighting, deny everything that the spanish was telling you, but the air left you lung the moment you saw him hugging another girl and kissing her. You knew who she was, a girlfriend that they put him with, so they wouldn't think about you guys last "accident" (you just kissed him in the check, once, and you grabbed his hand) They weren't together, but you couldn't control the pain in your chest, the lump in your throat and the tears apearing in your eyes.

-Hijo de puta-

You didn't even tried saying anything, you just leave, hearing Carlos calling you. But you had to leave now, you couldn't see them, you couldn't act that you were okay with this, not anymore.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

You ignored everything and everyone, feeling the tears slowly falling from you eyes, making your sight cloudy. You tried to control you breathing, but everytime you packed something you felt more choked sobs trying to fall from your mouth.

You didn't know were to go, but you were tired of everything. After packing things that you though were important, you took a sit in te bed, try and failing to calm yourself just so you could know what to do.

In your state you didn't heard your phone, missing calls from Charles, ignoring the messages. You tried to ignore everything till you heard the door opening and closing, sighing knowing whats was about to happen.

-Amore?-

You looked at him, tears in your eyes. You could see some panic in his eyes, looking at you and at the suitcase. You could see his own eyes crystallizing, making everything more difficult.

-Carlos told me you left, he cursed at me a bit even but--he walked closer to you--What are you doing?

-Im tired Charles--you answered, hiding your face--tired of everything

-What are you talking about--he was beside you now, sitting with you--Amore, whatever your thinking about you can talk to me, we can solve it

-Solve it?--you took your hands of your face--I want for you to kiss me Charles!, after you win i want you to kiss your fucking boyfriend!-

-Tesoro...-

-No, nothing about Tesoro--you stood up and walked away from him--all the time im by your side, supporting you, giving you everything from me so you could know that you weren't alone in this sport, i torelated comments about other people, i torelated seeing you with other people, but kissing others? i can't tolerate that Charles!

-You think i enjoy it?--he stood up as well--Kissing her? Saying that im happy with her knowing that you are right behind me? No i don't, i hate all of this but i can't risk it, i can't risk this

-I risked everything for you, my Dad left me the moment he knew i was Gay, Mom only talks to me when its important--you voice was louder, trying to say everything you could without losing your head--i risked my future for you Charles, because i loved you more than anything--you got closer to him--But you won't even look at me, when you are in that podium, you look anywhere else but me, not even when we are alone Charles! But of course your fast the moment they give you some random bitch to kiss, huh? Would you fuck her too, so "no one suspects"?

-Don't fucking say that, i love you Amore Mio, you are everything for me, you are the most important thing in my life-

-But you won't even show it, huh?--you laughed dryly, and then turned around him

You were about to reach your suitcase, when a hand grabbed your arm and pushed you to the wall. You were close to insult him, till his lips touched yours, your hands when to his shoulders, with the idea to take him off you, but you didn't tried.

The kiss wasn't soft, no, it was rough, every emotion showed in one singular action. Your hands went to his hair, tugging it, hearing his groan in your mouth. His hands touched you hips, putting his hands under your shirt. Then he separate from the kiss, thouching your forehead with his.

-Im sorry...--he whispered-you are important, more than everything, i promise i will tell everyone, tomorrow if i have to-

You sighed-how can it trust you now?

-Because i love you, you are everything to me, i can't lose you-he kissed you again more softer this time, his hands touching all your abdomen and yours lifting his shirt.

You were a fool in love, and you were gonna always love him, even if it hurts you. But maybe now, everything could change.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────