#and we are done for tonight lmao
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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what if... what if i did a little one-liner call? something small & inconsequential bc i wanna write but the brainspace is a bit fuzzy? huh?? what then???
#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ starter call ⋮ keep your wooden wedges under doors.#will i get all of them done tonight? will i do any of them at all? we just don't know!!#this is a tiny little no pressure thing so i make no promises#but i'm feeling overwhelmed if i look at paragraphs that're too long today so have this. we'll see what happens l-lmao#specify a muse if you're a multi tho pls i'm in no state to make decisions tonight
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Plastic Trees
Tommy Miller x Fem!reader
Ok, I’m sooo nervous to post this lmao. I’ve convinced myself that it sucks. This isn’t everyone's cup of tea so make sure you read the warnings! I did the classic me thing by wanting to get right into the story, so there isn’t much of a backstory here but I have future chapters planned (and may have already started writing them) if anyone is interested. So let me know if you enjoy and want more <3 Thank you for reading!
Word Count: 3.4k
Warning: 18+! This isn’t proof read so lmk if u spot any dire mistakes. Kidnapping duh, kind of dark!tommy i guess? Or maybe just very ooc. guns and swearing and all that typical tlou stuff. Reader is an adult, obviously. Handjob, slight voyeurism, face fucking.
This is the worst part. Night time, or at least she thought it was night time. The countdown to morning, wondering if they will even come back down. Wondering if this was the night they pack up and leave, leaving her to die alone down here. The basement was always dark, day or night. But these next few hours were the worst, it would get quiet. No footsteps or shouting. Only a few steps every now and then of whoever was up to keep watch while everyone else slept.
She knew who was on watch tonight, it must be Tommy. She knows this now, she's been down here long enough to know their patterns. She knows it’s Tommy because every hour or so the footsteps sound above her and a shadow appears at the basement door. It lingers for a while and then retreats. She wonders what he thinks, is he toying with her? Is he just trying to listen? See what she’s doing? Or, does his hand linger over the door knob, does he ever think about coming down? Does he ever think about letting her out?
She’s convinced that he does. Or maybe she’s convinced herself that to make herself feel better, either way - Tommy is different. He has softer eyes than his brother. He asks her if she’s okay, despite her answer always being something along the lines of go fuck yourself. Tommy is the only one who actually told her his name. His brother Joel, she only knows after hearing Tommy say it. All of this - Tommy looking at her sweetly and sneaking her extra food is what led to this. She's crouched at the bottom of the stairs. Tommy’s silhouette is lingering by the door. A few seconds and he retreats. His footsteps echo above her, getting quieter as he reaches the other side of the house. Her heart is hammering in her chest, her blood rushing as she steps up onto the first stair. The wood creaks under her, the same way it does when one of them walks down them. She cringes - she listens. When she hears nothing above her, she takes a chance and steps up onto the next one.
She knows the door isn’t locked. The world was years into an apocalypse, this house is run down. The closest thing they had to a lock was making her believe there was someone on the other side 24/7. And usually, there was. Until night, she guesses they think she's asleep - so they would wander around the house. They go stand by the front door instead, keeping watch.
As she ascends the steps, Tommy is above her. Leaning against the dirty kitchen counter. His gun on the old marble in front of him. Easy job, my ass, he thinks. The day he stops listening to Joel is the day he will know peace. Kidnapping someone, locking them in a basement and waiting to hand her off to a group of fuckers who are planning to do god knows what. This is not an easy job. As if to illustrate his point, a gust of wind blows over the house and it creaks. The shitty windows sound awful as the rain pounds against it. Fuck this. He wants to go home. He straightens up and swings his gun back in over his shoulder, planning to do another lap of the house as boredom takes over him.
He freezes as he hears a familiar squeak. It’s not the house this time, it’s those damn noisy basement stairs. He walks slowly, quietly - and peeks around the corner down the hallway. The door is closed. He peeks round into what used to be the living room of this house, Joel and the rest of their group are asleep on the floor and on various old couches. He’s still frozen in place, listening. Another creak echoes from the hallway. He creeps closer, obviously more stealthy than the person on the stairs. Another creak as they reach the top stair, he knows the sound is more hollow than the rest of the stairs. He dips into another room as the basement door handle begins to turn slowly. Her hesitation is obvious, the door is opened slowly - she’s slow, not wanting it to make too much of a noise.
She looks out into the hallway, holy shit - it’s empty. She can see the front door from where she’s standing. She knows the lounge is on the left, and she knows they’re all in there. She can hear the rain and wind up here too. Shit, she’s wearing a shitty pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The same thing she had been wearing since they snatched her up. She opens the door wider and takes a step out, the house is silent. Where the fuck did Tommy go? She takes a few more quiet steps, excitement building inside of her. Excitement to feel the rain and wind on her skin. Excitement to go home.
Her pathetic excitement turns to pure fear and adrenaline as she hears the familiar click of a shotgun beside her. As she passes a dark room on the right of her, a cold metal barrel is pressed to the side of her head. Her hands instinctively rise up, surrender.
“Turn around.” Tommy’s familiar voice - he’s quiet, trying not to wake the others. Her hand flexes at her side, contemplating grabbing the gun. What would she do with it? She has no fucking clue. But she’s so close to the front door.
“Don’t.” He says. “Just turn around.”
“Please, Tommy.” She tries. Her voice was shaking. He almost felt bad. She turned to look at him, face to face with the gun aimed at her head.
“Please what?” He’s still whispering. His voice was deeper than usual when he did.
“Let me go.”
“Yeah, right. Turn around.” He scoffs. Stepping out into the hallway and blocking her way. He’s much taller than her, his height is intimidating as he towers over her, crowding her back down into the basement. She takes a few steps back as he takes a few forward.
“The door is right there. You- you could let me go.” She tries to bargain as he continues to walk forwards, forcing her to walk back into the doorway.
“Oh yeah? And then what? I’m supposed to be on watch, so you escaping is my fault. Then you die out there and we don’t get paid.”
“Please i-“ She starts again, resorting back to pleading with him. She’s so worked up she forgets about the steps. Tommy stops her before she can fall backwards, his large hands reaching around her waist. He’s in charge now, he’s standing in the doorway holding her above the stairs. Blocking her exit, and if he lets go of her - she falls. She’s looking up at him, her eyes big and tearful. Fear evident on her face. Her hands are tightly gripping the front of his jacket, trying to steady herself.
“What now princess?” He says, his voice rumbles.
“Hm?” He prompts as she doesn’t reply. She’s honestly at a loss for words. She’s not sure if it’s because this is not what she planned, or wether is being so close to him like this.
“Are you gonna be good?” He asks. She hates the way her stomach stirs. She wants nothing more than to push him away. “Are you gonna go back down? You don’t have many options.”
She continues to stare at him, weighing her options. She looks at the door behind him and he smirks, an idea popping into his head. He pretends to let her go, one of his arms dropping away from her and slapping over her mouth when she almost screams - thinking he’s about to let her fall down the stairs.
He hauls her up and presses her against the wall, his hand still covering her mouth- the other one gripping her hip tightly. Her hands are still twisted into his jacket, her knuckles turning white. She’s crying now, sobbing behind his hand. Fuck, he was enjoying this.
“I’m going to ask you again.” He whispers. “Are you gonna be a good girl and go back downstairs?”
Her eyes are wide, tears hitting his hand as they fall. She nods slowly, trying to ignore the heat growing between her legs. God, she wishes she had met him in a different situation. He was so beautiful. His dark eyes bore into hers before they flickered downwards. He watches her chest heaving, he feels her eyes on his face and he knows she can feel him. His body is pressed against hers, trapping her against the wall, so he knows she can feel his cock hardening against her.
He lets go of her mouth, bringing his hand down to her throat instead. He leans in, his lips inches from hers. She can feel his breath on her lips but she doesn’t dare move. Fuck, she can’t deny that she wants him to kiss her. Would he let her go if she fucked him? She decides to take her chances. She slowly unwraps her hands from the collar of his jackets. She presses her palms against his chest, for a second he thinks she’s going to try to push him away and he prepares himself to grab her wrists. But his breathing hitches as her hands travel down his stomach and pause at the hem of his shirt.
She looks up at him with the most innocent look she can muster, she searches his eyes for any anger or resistance. He’s doing the same to her, his eyes urging her to carry on. She feels his stomach flex as she slowly lets her hands travel underneath the fabric. How long has it been since someone has touched him? It’s been a while since someone has touched her - just his hand around her neck right now is setting her on fucking fire.
His hand tightens around her throat as she unbuckles his belts and dips her hand into his jeans. Feeling him over his underwear first. Stroking him with a feather light touch. He leans in to press his mouth to her jaw, a quiet moan leaves her lips and she swears she can feel his cock twitch.
“Get on with it.” He mumbles against her skin. Trying to resist biting down into her flesh, not wanting the other guys to see any marks. The other guys - who are only around the corner. If any of them were to wake up and look over here they would see them. Fuck, that turned her on. She hates it.
She reaches into his underwear and grips him tightly. “You're not gonna be gentle with me baby?” He hisses beside her ear, she can hear the smirk in his voice, she feels his lips brushing the shell of her ear.
“What do you want me to do?” She whispers, her hand begins to move, jerking him off slowly. He smells like leather and sweat, she whimpers as her clothed tits press against his chest. His nipples are hard and aching.
“Fuck.” He moans into her ear. His hand flexes on her throat before he shocks her by letting go and straightening up. “Get on your knees.”
“Okay.” She mumbles, slowly kneeling down on the dirty floor. The floorboard creaks underneath her and they both freeze for a second. His hands stop in the middle of pushing his jeans down. They both look down the hallway and listen for a second. When they hear nothing- the house is still silent, he continues. Pulling his jeans down just enough to pull his cock out.
Tommy almost feels guilty as she kneels down in front of him. Almost. His cock is so fucking hard and aching that he can’t help himself. He reaches for the back of her head, guiding her mouth towards his length. He can’t help but think about how fucking jealous Joel would be. He’d expressed his attraction to her when they had picked her up, joking about keeping her the group they were waiting for never came.
He almost explodes as she takes his tip into her mouth, swirling her tongue around his slit. Fuck, it really had been a while. But honestly, they didn’t have time for this. Anyone could wake up at any second and all he wanted was to come down her throat. He grasps her hair at the back of her head and pushes her head down until he feels her gag around him. And she lets him. Fuck, she was perfect.
“That’s it, baby. Fuck.” He mumbles through gritted teeth. As she works up a rhythm, sucking him off as best as she can when his hand is still on the back of her head. Applying pressure to stop her from pulling completely away. Tommy is biting his fist to keep himself quiet, his other hand has a painful grip on her hair. He keeps glancing down the hallway, eventually deciding she isn’t being quick enough.
“You’re mouth is amazing, sweetheart.” He whispers as he grasps both sides of her face. He lets her pull away for a second - she knows what he’s about to do. “But, we gotta hurry up.”
He’s already close. His dick hasn’t had anything but his own hand for a long time and the sight of her allowing him to fuck her face has his balls clenching. She has her palms on his thighs, letting him hold her head and thrust in and out of her mouth at his own pace. And his own pace is a rough one. She’s still crying, but now it’s the feeling of his tip hitting the back of her throat that’s producing the tears. Him using her mouth to get off, she swears she’s never been this turned on in her life.
It’s so fucking wrong. This is one of the men who has had her locked in a basement purely for his own gain for the past couple of weeks. But as she looks up at him, his face flushed, his teeth biting down on his lip as he roughly fucks her face in a disgusting basement - she can’t help but hope he keeps her for himself. She thinks about running away with him. She thinks about him taking her away from all this, ditching his brother and their money and taking her out into the world. She thinks about how he looks pointing his gun at her, how he would look pointing it at someone else to protect her.
She moans around him at the thought, her hand coming down and pressing between her own legs - her jeans stopping her from getting herself off. Her hand eventually goes to her breast instead. Between the sight of her desperately trying to touch herself and the way she moaned around his cock, Tommy is done for. He pauses, forcing her as far down his cock as she can go as he comes down her throat. She feels every drop as it hits the back of her mouth. He pulls his cock out of her mouth but is quick to bring his fingers to her chin, forcing her mouth shut.
“Swallow it.” He says. She does as she’s told. He lets go of her chin when he feels her swallow. She practically collapses backwards, sitting in front of him and breathing heavily. He tucks himself back into his jeans before he crouches down in front of her.
“Shhh. You did good, baby.” He whispers. He caresses her cheek. She looks beautiful like this. She swears she can see the change in his face, his eyes soften and he stands up and holds out his hands. She looks from his palms to his face a few times before it clicks, oh. She takes his hands and lets him help her up. The feeling of him holding her hands making her knees feel like buckling again.
“This doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you go.” He says, his grip tightening on her hands.
“I figured.” She nods,her voice slightly hoarse. But suddenly, she feels like she doesn’t want to go. She pulls her hands from his and turns to walk down the stairs. He stops her before he can descend them with a hand on her shoulder. He backs her up against the wall again and she gasps as he slips his hand into her jeans.
“Shit, did sucking me off get you this wet?” He asks, he’s only tracing her pussy through her panties but he can feel the wet spot she’d created. He can feel the heat radiating off of her and he swears he could get hard again.
“I asked you a question.” He says when she whimpers in response.
“Y-yes.” She moans lightly as he traces her clit through the fabric.
“You want me to touch you?”
She bites back a snarky comment of you already are and just nods instead.
“Please, Tommy. Please touch me.” She asks him sweetly.
“Since you were so good for me, i guess you deserve it.” He says. He leans in closer to her face, god - he wants to kiss her. He knows it’s a bad idea but when she leans up to meet him halfway he can’t help himself. Their lips are practically touching, softly brushing against each other - a moan leaving her mouth as he presses harder on her clit, beginning to move his finger in slow, tight circles.
As he’s about to commit and push his tongue into her mouth, some fucker moves in the other room. The sound of shuffling and someone standing to their feet has him ripping his hand out from between her legs. She’s frozen in place for a second, disappointed and shocked. Tommy is picking his gun back up and whispering Go to her and it jumps her into action. She scurries down the stairs as fast as she can, not missing the way he sucks the finger that had been touching her into his mouth.
“You good, Tommy?” A male voice calls down the hall.
“Yeah. Everything is fine.” The other man looks at him standing in the basement doorway and then looks into the darkness of the basement behind him.
“Everything okay with her?” The man asks.
“Yeah.” Tommy answers. “I thought I heard her moving around. But everythings fine. She’s asleep.”
The man nods and asks: “You wanna switch?”
Tommy nods and hands his gun over. He needs a fucking nap after that. He needed to think. He watches as the man approaches the basement door. A weird protectiveness washing over him. Shit, this isn’t good. He can’t afford to have a soft spot for her. He snaps out of it and takes the man's place on the couch. The couch is dusty and creaks underneath him and he sighs. He thinks about how the people who had hired them to collect here were supposed to be arriving tomorrow.
Below him in the basement, she’s thinking about it too. As she lays down to sleep, she hopes that Tommy will save her - hopes that he won’t let it happen. That he will sweep her off of her feet and carry her away. Hours later, she’s still hoping. A few minutes ago she had been awoken by yelling and gunshots. She’d been curled up in the corner ever since. Waiting, listening. The basement door swings open and she squeezes her eyes shut as loud footsteps tumble down towards her. Honestly, maybe this was a better end than whatever the people who had hired her to be captured had in mind.
“Hey! It’s me.” Her eyes shoot open, Tommy is standing above her looking even more disheveled than he did last night. He’s breathing heavily - his words rushed.
“What’s happening?” She asks. Tommy looks back up the stairs before extending his gloved hand to her.
“Get up. We need to go. Right fucking now.”
#yeah the title is a radiohead song… whatevs#next chapter is half way done hehehe#it’s almost as long as this one…. lmao#its better I promise…. maybe#idk tbh#FELLAS ARE WE READY FOR TLOU FINALE TONIGHT?#tommy miller#tommy miller smut#tommy miller x reader#hbo tommy miller#tommy miller fic#gabriel luna#the last of us#the last of us smut#the last of us fic
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thinking about the internal logic for the magic system for my original stuff again. thinking about the fact that i spent a year writing (good!) and did not touch my original stuff at all (not great lmao) and that now that i've got myself back on the right path (words!) and have tried to beat into my silly, stubborn head that the important thing is to get things done and out of my sweaty, scared hands instead of clutching them too tightly and far too long trying to focus on making them as good as they can be (sigh), i really, really gotta apply that to my original stuff this next year (SIGH) even when i really don't wanna (SIGHHHHHHHH) so. yeah. i should probably crack that sucker open again and at the very least reread it. AFTER i finish this fic that i was supposed to finish last weekend lmao (say it with me: sigh).
#stretching that writing muscle tag#SIGHHHHHHHHHH#am i gonna be happy with what i have or am i gonna loathe it that's the question. i usually like my stuff well enough when it's done BUT#it's NOT done. and also. also. original stuff is. incredibly more vulnerable. so. WE'LL SEE. i don't wanna reread it.#i've reread it SO MANY TIMES but it's been SO LONG. i mean: literally a year. but i gotta. i gotta. first tho: gotta finish this sex ed fic#btw: despite me squawking about kirk & spock being manipulative freaks in this story? turns out MCCOY is the one who fully fucked up lmao#it's about time i cut spock and kirk a break tbh. none of that 'everyone is right and everyone is wrong' nonsense HERE.#leonard mccoy you fucked up so bad <333333333 it's okay we all forgive you <333333333333#i just wanna play stardew valley tbh i don't wanna write at ALL but i'm gonna be good and at the very least write my 500 words!#HOPEFULLY more. it's not gonna be done tonight though i'm pretty sure. okay byeeeeeeee
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today i found out he still wears a black + silver belt in 2019
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#masato arakawa#ryo aoki#snap sketches#awful that i was pretty much done with this pic but then had to abandon my cpu for like six hours before i could post it#i wanted to draw more today too... oh well#i'll try to squeeze in one more drawing tonight idk#but yeah anywa :] i didnt think we ever saw his belt so i've always made it brown + gold to match his shoes#Guess I'll Die Though it's black and silver. if there's one thing he kept from his life as masato ig its the belt LMAO#and i was just going to draw him in his usual outfit without the blazer but yk what. why not change it up#also i got another email from express... they keep tempting me but i dont particularly want anything right now...#ok bye bye
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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it’s official; i’ll be working 5:30-9:30pm instead of 6:30-9:30pm thursday-monday due to the fact that we have 6 momma dogs and 37 puppies between them all in addition to the 4 dogs i have to walk (6 right now because we have two dogs boarding with us unfortunately) which means that i should have time to clean everything thoroughly and it also means that i will be making about $680 instead of $578 each biweekly paycheck which isn’t a lot but it is significantly more than $0 per week and this job suits my schedule so so so much better than literally every single other job i have had and also i get paid for getting some puppy therapy
#⟡ — kayleigh’s yapping#it’s only until we have less puppies of course but then again i honestly might just ask if i can work 5:30-9:30pm from now on 🤷🏼♀️#the extra hour makes a huge difference because it takes ~30min to walk all 6 dogs currently#so i should be done walking dogs by 6pm and then i have until 9pm to clean everything before i have to walk dogs again#ngl i will probably still have to stay 10-15 minutes late but that’s totally fine i am used to it by now lmao#when summer comes around it’ll be nice to have that extra hour to walk the dogs for longer#but right now the weather is usually shit and it is usually cold af so i only walk them until they go potty#they all get woods walks during the day so it ain’t a big deal that i don’t walk them for a super long time#ANYWAYS i am going to attempt to go tf back to sleep asap until 3:45ish and i am so so so glad that i have two days off after tonight#i just have to go pickup a big curbside grocery order tomorrow afternoon#(i always feel bad for getting 50+ items but i get so overstimulated if i go in and shop myself 😭)#(and i mean. it’s their job. i worked curbside pickup at a different store for a bit and it was infinitely preferable to working registers)#unfortunately i have been putting off groceries because i couldn’t get them last week due to their slots being full due to the holiday#so i have to make up for that by ordering a lot at once ughhh
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Great news!!! After struggling with this god forsaken chapter for MONTHS im FINALLY DONE. now I just have to edit and then im FREE 🙏
#of course when i say 'im done'#that means that some parts of it are literally just [insert dialogue here] bc dialogue is my worst enemy#and i sometimes leave it to editing me to take care of it jsjjfkfk#but u know what i said this chapter would be out before the end of march and ON GOD i kept that promise#its. yeah its 8k.#once more i told myself it would be like a nice 5-6k and here we are#i struggled so much with it bc a) splinter is in it! finally lmao#i had so muxh trouble writing him actually#and b) theres a leo and casey conversation at the end that i ALSO really struggled with#but i think i did okay so :v#its 2am and i am. very. very tired.#and i am going to have a wonderful sleep tonight <3#summer post
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so i've been debating this hc for some time because on some level it feels absurd to headcanon this for furina, the hydro archon ( i know she's not bUT ) and that's thalassophobia / the fear of deep water. i have two reasons for this: the first is that i simply can't envision her having any other attitude towards the prospect of deep water than anxiety and fear when she has had the prophecy of rising water levels looming over her for as long as she had ( and she mentions it in her voiceline when it starts raining, and there are moments in the 4.3 event when i think it's chiori who teases her about it lmao ). and even though she *technically* never was the hydro archon who would be left alone on her throne, she was playing that role, and she had to live with the fear of failing in that promise she made to focalors to keep up that act in order to thwart the prophecy
the SECOND reason i have is that we know that it's only vision holders who are able to dive in fontaine without wearing a full diving suit. furina was never a vision holder until after the events of her story quest. she most likely couldn't have gone diving in fontaine without arousing suspicion because she wouldn't be able to breathe underwater without artificial assistance. focalors might have cursed her with immortality, but furina's not divine — and this is where i need to settle on exactly how those rules of immortality work for her because we know she can't age and she can't die of natural causes, but if she was to get shot, could she bleed out ? we know she has clorinde as a bodyguard throughout the AQ and neuvillette expresses concern for her safety when she is meeting with arlecchino, to the point where he insists that the traveler accompany her in his absence. this makes me think that she can be wounded and suffer the effects ( which would be the same as an archon, they're not invulnerable therefore nor would furina be, though little do they know she is just a frail lil human ). so i feel like, even if the rules of her immortality dictate that she couldn't die from drowning, she would at least suffer the physical effects and pain of drowning, i.e. losing consciousness etc. so diving and enjoying fontaine's underwater landscapes pre-story quest ? out of the question i think
but what does this mean going forward post story quest when she is a vision holder and can enjoy being mortal ? deep water will remain a fear of hers, but it's absolutely something she can work on and slowly overcome ( and i think it's something she would want to overcome ). good luck to whoever takes her swimming first, though, that will be a Time lmao.
#* / character study ( furina. )#me giving the hydro archon a fear of deep water feels like the most absurd thing i've ever done#but i just can't argue against it ??? i've tried lmao#i was going to write up viago's bio tonight but my brain insisted on more sad furina thoughts#so here we are
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[ Nikke spoilers for mid September 2024 update mini story / my comments on it. ]
Closeted trans dudes dressing up at the family function like:
It's such a familiar scene, for family to see you dressing up out of obligation and then being like, 'Oh, NOW you're so beautiful, you should do this more often.' And internally, your body is screaming that it feels so wrong, why did you perform your perceived gender for this event! Or like, for me personally too, the whole missing the vibe of the event and dressing up way more than anyone else, and then feeling so out of place. I've joked before about Red Hood having older brother vibes, maybe she has trans vibes for me too now, lol.
Also, strange that Liliweiss is saying 'for the future' to Red Hood. Who, y'know, is basically terminally ill (corrupted). Red Hood doesn't 'have' a future, she just has the present and past. At this point in this mini-story thing (I'm assuming it takes place around the time of the Red Ash event), is Liliweiss aware of the plans to integrate Red Hood into Rapi, and therefore 'have' a future? Or am I just reading into this way too much? Lol. Just sounded like a really weird and inconsiderate thing to say to her.
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That aside, why the fuck did y'all vote the dress over the other two Red Hood skins?! I'm so disappointed, the other two were way cooler and not out of character:
((I mean, I guess it's technically in-character since it's canon now, and has to do with 'old music' but c'mon, man...))
Image description below cut:
First image: Red Hood from Nikke: Goddess of Victory is in a strappy and revealing dress. It's the same colour as her hair. She's embarrassed and standing next to a gramophone, while holding a champagne glass. She is also wearing fingerless half-palm leather gloves. Text: Red Hood: Oh jeez, I can't do this! I just can't!
Next two images: Text: Dialogue:
Commander: You did well in that outfit.
Red Hood: Anything was better than staying at that party, even fighting raptures. I've never been so glad to have a bunch of them show up.
Rapunzel: Your dress is all dirty, though. And the hem is all torn...
Red Hood: Who cares? It's not like I'm going to be wearing this ever again.
Liliweiss: Why not? I thought you'd be keeping it for the future.
Red Hood: No thanks. Not a chance.
Snow White: That's too bad. At least I finally got to see you all dressed up. Can I at least take a picture for posterity?
Red Hood: Absolutely not. I don't want to leave any evidence of this humiliating sight.
Last three images are the Red Hood skins/appearances that we voted on. First image is the feminine dress with the gramophone mentioned before, which won the poll. Second image is Red Hood on a motorcycle with a leather jacket, crop top, mini shorts, and thigh highs. Third image is Red Hood standing next to a wolf, and she is wearing form-fitted high-rise pants, a strappy harness bra-top and collar, and a cropped blazer.
#we couldve had a better mini story than performative femininity#nikke#red hood#red hood nikke#goddess of victory: nikke#nikke goddess of victory#nikke spoilers#CoriPlaysNikke#Cori Plays Nikke#idr which tag i use lol#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#long post#i cant remember if i voted bike or wolf lol the vote i cast was on june 27 and its currently sept 21 so it was a while ago...#...and the link i RTed doesn't tell me which one i voted (usually i try to put a screenshot as a reply but i must have forgotten)#i DEFINITELY did not vote the out of character strappy dress lmao wtf#tbh im keeping her default skin on but its nice they gave us a mini story for it at all#also lmao @ rapunzel looking for the commanders mags. neon already found em (neons personal story) and theyre gay mags (bless)#i mean unless im misremembering that im super tired rn and ive been typing this post for a while and have more to say on another post#other post TBA im too tired to make that one rn. actually i have a lot of nikke things i want to post but i keep forgetting lol#just expect more i have a lot i wanna commentate on but its 1am and i still gotta shower tonight#lol lemme stop nitpicking this post#but yeah the story was like. oh man. ive done that before. countless times. it sucks. i got hella secondhand embarrassment...#...bc ive been there before. in feminine clothes and shit. and ppl suddenly like u a lot more...#...and its like. guys. this is basically a costume. its not who i am. no im not gonna wear a fucking dress all the time.#and it sucks bc it aint safe to come out to justify why you dont wanna look like that all the time. (not that ppl should Have to justify it)#let ppl wear stuff thats ooc and treat it normally dont hound them about it like this bc then it becomes a nightmare
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im gonna finish this fic before i sleep or im gonna die trying i swear to fuck
#final battle took much of my attention but i got over the major hurdle i had in this and its almost done#just the ending and epilogue and we are good to go#idk if im gonna post it tonight but its at least gonna get written. might let it sit until tomorrow to edit. we'll see#tbh i might be too impatient for that since its already been so long lmao#and i think this'll do better released on sunday evening vs monday morning idk#anyways. we'll see. its gonna be hanahaki hours soon either way i promise#night is an absolute mess on main
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Back at it again with the cursed tea bath!!!
#the fabric dried juuuust light enough that it was now the same color as the shirt lmao#so a quick second round before I attempt to cut stuff tomorrow#hemmed the skirt tonight and I think i like the length its at#ive done more beautiful hemming jobs in my life but we are two weeks out from con so done is the priority lmao
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had to draw this finnish icon in the outfit of another finnish icon
#honkai star rail#sampo koski#hsr sampo#something i did quickly in a single night hfkdjdjf bc FINLAND SWEEP TONIGHT 🇫🇮💖💖💖#we will see how well this tag ages lmao#sorry if someones already done this i havent been to the tag since launch
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happy 420 everyone I just took 50mg and I'm ready to see the hat man or whatever it is that happens when you do too much weed
#ive done 25 + 25 before (like another 25 like an hour after the first one) but i imagine 50 all at once hits different#most ive ever done at one time was 30 and it took me out all day#im sure my parents are gonna wanna go out for dinner tonight too and ill probably still be out of it lmao#its fine we ball#also inevitably this is gonna make me wanna talk to ppl like its the last thing ill ever do so feel free to send asks now lol#juno.txt
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About Judgment: In short, I think RGGS was intending to continue the series. There were indeed rumors at one point that the series would end at Lost Judgment due to a disagreement with Kimura's agency, Johnny & Associates, about porting the games to PC--I'm unclear on why, there was speculation but I don't think it was ever stated. Obviously the PC ports are out now, so either that wasn't the issue or they moved past it. There's also just general disbelief around there being a third entry simply because there's this idea (joke?) that Kimura never does three of anything, which isn't true at this point. It is true RGGS historically hasn't done three of anything in terms of spinoff series (Kurohyou, Mobile+Kizuna, and arguably Kenzan+Ishin), but it's also true that none of their past spinoffs have been as successful as Judgment, and we're seeing a lot of "firsts" from the studio lately. The fact is that Yokoyama himself said something along the lines of "and of course, we won't forget about Judgment" (not literally, just the closest English expression I can think of that can be misinterpreted in the way I'm about to explain) while talking about future works. But for some reason, people took it as if he meant it "in mourning" rather than an obvious confirmation of more to come, I guess? A TV show was also announced, so I really don't get why they'd invest so much into a series they were going to end. I know Kurohyou got a show too, but this seems different. Anyway, that's the most recent information, but it's from some years ago. There is a major new development, however: J&A talents' contracts are being cancelled left and right as of the last couple of months due to the agency's dogshit handling of and response to an investigation into Johnny Kitagawa's serial abuse of allegedly hundreds of his talents. That's been going on since the man died in 2019, basically, but a lot's happened this year.
This has left the talents with the incredibly tough decision of either remaining at an agency that refuses to even change its name and is rapidly breaking down or leaving. It has historically been very difficult to do the latter. On top of what you'd expect, J&A controls their talents to an insane degree and has leveraged their control of the media to suppress the careers of those who leave.
Broadly, in terms of how media companies have responded so far, I understand not wanting to associate with J&A and that J&A would likely benefit from the contracts more than the talents, but it still feels like the talents are the ones being punished... I have to imagine at least some of them were victims, so to be victims of the blacklist on top of that... That, and some of these companies kept the truth from coming out for decades.
With J&A losing its foothold in the media, though, there may be no better time than now to leave the agency. I don't know if Kimura will--rumors have been circulating ever since his idol group were forced to break up years and years ago, but while they all went independent, he never has--especially because a lot of seniors like him feel a responsibility to stay and change the agency for the better. As of right now, I'm not aware of Kimura's contracts getting cancelled, so I can't say one way or another if that'd have an effect.
I don't know what happens from here. I'm not sure if RGGS will look at it as collaborating with J&A or with Kimura or both, and how they'll factor in what's going on right now into working with him. Hypothetically, it would be possible to continue the series even without Kimura (any of the other mains do or would make great protagonists), but at the same time, Judgment is hugely reliant on Kimura's charisma. That's why people who play the dub (or people who don't like Kimura) often come away with the impression Yagami's kind of a dick or doesn't stand out much.
So... that's the state of Judgment right now. We won't know until we know, I guess.
OHHHHH OK saucy... sucks about J&A- it'd be cool if yk. they could face the consequences of their actions LMAO but that Could involve displacing hella workers now wouldnt it
#snap chats#well i hope something neat is done with judgement. again i have barely touched it but it does seem like a rad series..#rgg#anyway... unrelated tag ramble time... i feel so ugly LMAO i just havent eaten yet. im makin rice now tho#Insane we had a roommate meeting x days ago and one of the agreed upon things was that we could use each others appliances#and one of my roommates brought a rice cooker but obvi i wanted to ask first but she said no so. gotta use a pot. of which ive never done#it shouldnt be hard tho... lol.. s'just rice..#im technically supposed to be at class rn but im dropping it this week so id feel weird going to a three-hour class im not coming back to#heres to hoping my fuckin emails are answered or ill actually have to be an adult and do it myself LMAO#honestly i will later tonight if my email aint answered i hate waiting on stuff like this#after i Hopefully eat some fried rice balls i might doodle or i might practice some Y7 chapters#im still mad LMAO but im gonna make a ramble post in a sec bout that#ty for sharin the gossip with me thats wild.... agencies annoying as hell And Criminal Sometimes i SWEARR
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justttttt as i predicted, the new girl finally flaked out completely 🙃
#and on a day when i have SO MUCH SHIT TO DO#i literally had everything scheduled for today that i couldn’t do during the week bc of work#like#i can’t cancel any of this i need to get it done#and i hate to do that to my client but brooo if she fucking listened to me in the first place#and don’t give her 20 million chances#we wouldn’t be in this situation 😭#also i have my date tonight and i am NOT canceling that#i’m sick of having to cancel shit bc of other people’s incompetence fr#i have a fucking life i have things to do just like everyone else#haven’t answered any of my clients calls or texts bc i’m so fucking annoyed lmao goddd#why does no one EVER LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THIS SHIT#i knew she wasn’t going to fucking work out i KNEW there were gonna be problems#the minute she started demanding money and showing up over an hour late bc she was drunk af#like no it’s not my goddamn fault you kept giving her chance after chance#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#jfc idk wtf is up with the world or the ppl in it but it’s such a goddamn mess fr
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