#final battle took much of my attention but i got over the major hurdle i had in this and its almost done

[the-kipsabian]

im gonna finish this fic before i sleep or im gonna die trying i swear to fuck

[katehuntington]

Title: Three Days Ago Fandom: Supernatural Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester (Sam Winchester & Castiel mentioned) Pairing: Dean x Reader Summary: Dean and Y/N finally decide to settle down. But before they do, they take on one more case, which will turn out to be their last. Warnings: ANGST with a capital ‘A’! Canon typical violence, description of blood and injury, panic, major character death, grief. Seriously, do not read in public if you don’t like crying in a crowd. Word Count: 3514 words Author’s note: Grab your tissues, hurdle up in a burrito of sadness, because this is gonna be sad. @kittenofdoomage said: “Well, that was rude,” @wingedcatninja: “HOW. DARE. YOU.” and @winchest09 asked: “Why? Why do you do this to me?” So on that note, I hope you all enjoy!

     Three days ago, you and Dean had the talk. About quitting the job, about getting your own place, maybe even start a family. It has been occasionally discussed before over the years, but always jokingly, always the sarcastic ‘as if’. Dean and you are both realists. You know you will most likely die in armor. There is no happy ending in the cards. Every time the hunters took out an enemy, new ones would arise. The war never seemed to end, you were always covered in blood and bruises, always neck deep in trouble, fighting some impossible greater power that was way above your pay grade. And so you both laughed at the idea, like neither of you could picture it, while deep down both longed for that kind of peace. 

     One time, while driving through the night with Sam fast asleep in the back seat, the two of you fantasized about living a normal life. How it would be to have a home that isn’t a bunker, with windows that would allow sunlight to peek through the curtains. A house where the floors creak and the roof tiles tick when autumn rain pelts down. Maybe a house with a porch or a deck, with a view over a lake, so that Dean could spend his retirement fishing. A house like the cute cabin in Grand Mesa, Colorado, that you spotted on a real estate website. Dean doesn’t know, but you’ve been keeping an eye on the property, feeling a hint of relief every time you went online and found it to still be for sale. Even though the chances of ever living there are slimmer than winning the lottery, you couldn’t help yourself. 

     That is, until the final big bad was defeated. All there is left now are the little cases. The little cases that other hunters would have no problem with, the little cases that aren’t worth dying for. After decades of fighting a battle against what hides in the shadows and threatens mankind, you and Dean have decided the time has come to lay down the weapons. Your hunting days will soon be over, you were finally going to settle down with the man you love. So when Dean came across a suspicious news article and convinced you to work the case, you promised yourself: one last job. 

     Three days ago, the two of you went on that final hunt, having no idea that this case would end so much more.

      “Dean!”

     The damage is done before you can blink, let alone prevent it from happening. With a gun trapped and steady between both hands, you hurry around the corner and enter a dark alley in one of the neglected neighborhoods of Chicago. The hunter you care so much for comes into view, pushed against the brick wall by the shapeshifter that’s wearing your skin. Making a split second decision, you fire two silver bullets. Both hit the shifter in the chest, one piercing its heart. When the creature turns to you, horrified, the light coming from the lamppost on the corner of the street hits its eyes, igniting them to flash abnormally bright one last time. Then the spitting image of yourself crumbles to the ground, a fist clasped around the handle of the knife, pulling the weapon from Dean’s chest. 

     Every detail is clear, your senses heightened by the adrenaline. It all happens so fast, yet you are very much aware of every detail of what’s playing out in front of you. The fresh crimson on the blade, the gasp that escapes from Dean’s lungs as the knife is roughly drawn from his flesh, your racing heartbeat drumming in your ears, triggering a crippling state of inner panic. You lower the gun, big eyes watching him in shock as he turns his head to meet your gaze. A desperate, hopeless shade of emerald green, begging you silently to catch him before he collapses.

     You start to run towards him, but his legs give out. Unable to stay on his feet Dean slides down against the brick wall, but before he tumbles over to the side, you grab him and keep him vertical. 

     “I got you. I got you now. Hey hey hey…”       You force him to look into your eyes, your hand firmly on the back of his neck, holding him upright. Damn, he took a good punch. Two nasty gashes on his brow and cheekbone allow blood to drip down his face, but the red substance that is pooling on his bottom lip and starts to drip down his nose is not just a result from the beat down. It’s coming from deep within, filling his lungs, creeping up his throat. 

     You hastily shrug off your flannel shirt, first one arm, then the other, so that you can keep him steady. After folding it into a ball, you move his denim jacket aside to witness the stabwound between his ribs. For a short second you just stare at the stain that evens out the colors of his plaid shirt in one dark tone of red, growing larger with each passing moment. The image translates in your mind, setting it in overdrive. 

     “Cas!!!” you yell up to the sky.      You know he can’t hear you, you know Castiel doesn’t have the power to heal Dean either, not at this moment anyway. Still, you hope for a miracle, looking up at the tainted clouds above, painted in a hue of purple from the city lights. You call out for the angel again, but nothing happens, and so you return your teary eyes back to the hunter. The look he returns petrifies you to a degree that it can be felt in your deepest core, because besides the mixture of fear and pain, you notice something else. Sympathy for having to leave you for good this time. Acceptance of the inevitable fate that lies before him. Then you know. Dean is going to die tonight.

     You could give up. Now that you realize all hope is lost, you could stop fighting. But you can’t. You can’t give up on him. Not now, not ever. The small voice that tells you to stop your attempt to save the man you love, causes your hands to tremble and your heart to race, but you are calmed by the strong minded will that wants to keep him alive.       “This is going to hurt a little,” you warn, before you press the bundled fabric against the injury, doing your best to stop the severe bleeding.       Dean groans in agony when you apply pressure, grinding his teeth in the process as he does is very best to keep pulling in breaths.      “I know, I know. I’m sorry. Shhh…” you hush him, pulling out your phone and dialing 9-1-1.      “Y/N… don’t bother,” he says.      “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that,” you return, stern yet broken. “We’ll do this the old fashioned way, alright? All we gotta do is get you to a hospital and they will fix this. You’re gonna be fine. You're gonna be just fine.”

     You’re not just trying to convince him as you keep repeating the mantra in your head, but who are you fooling? Certainly not Dean, who watches you with empathy as you press the cellphone between your shoulder and your ear. The operator asks what your emergency is.       “I need an ambulance! M-my boyfriend just got stabbed in the chest and he’s - he’s losing a lot of blood. You’ve gotta send someone quick,” you tell the woman on the other end of the line, trying your best to get the message across best as you can.      “Okay, m’am. Help is on the way. What’s your location?”      You quickly glance at the corner of the street, trying to find a street sign. There isn't one, but years of experience in hunting and tracking pay off. You only need a fraction of a second to determine where you are, going on observations and memory of your chase that led you in this dark and empty street.       “I'm in a back alley of N. Morgan Street, right next to the ‘L’,” you explain, returning your focus to Dean.      “I’m dispatching units to your location right now. Is your boyfriend responsive?”      “Yes. Yes, he is,” you reply. “He's conscious.”

     You observe the oldest Winchester, witnessing how the flare in his eyes slowly starts to die down. He has a calm over him that seems foreign, at terms with the inevitable. Dean, who never backs out of a fight, who keeps throwing punches no matter what, has accepted his fate. The sight causes tears to fill your eyes again, desperately clinging to your lashes. You can't let them fall. If the tears fall, you will acknowledge it. If the tears fall, you will admit that you are about to lose him.      “What’s your name?”      You snap your attention back to the operator, who tries to gain more information. For a second your mind rushes through your aliases, deciding which one to give the woman on the phone, but then Dean’s head slowly dips in your hand as his eyelids become heavy.      “Dean? No no no no. Stay with me now,” you respond panicky, quickly dropping the phone to the concrete in order to hold him up.      “Look at me. Look at me. Dean?!”      Frantically you cup his face, trying to get him to focus on you again. Your thumb rubs his scruffy cheek lovingly as you pray for him to hang on. Someone seems to listen to the request, though, because his eyes flutter open again, able to take you in once more. 

     “They’re on their way, Dean. You just have to hold on a little bit longer, alright?” you say, emotion thick on your voice. “Tell me something.”      “Tell you what?” he asks, weakly.      You shrug, because honestly, all you want is to hear his voice.      “Anything. A stupid joke, a funny story. Just keep talking to me.”      A small smile appears on his lips while thoughts form in his head. Something in his warm eyes changes as he seems to figure out what to say to you. You can tell it’s a message he needs to get across, last requests and pleas for promises.      “W - will you do me a favor? Sammy, he's gonna be devastated--”      “- Dean,” you object, knowing where this is going.      “Y/N, please let me say this,” he whispers, weakening by the second. “I'm not sure how much time I've got here.”

     You want to interrupt him, yell at him to stop talking like he is going to die. Because you still want to believe that he isn't. You still want to believe that the two of you will have your happy ending. But you let him continue, as the tears finally fall. Reluctantly admitting, acknowledging, the last spark of naivety slipping away.       The hand that is clenching the piece of clothing against the wound, hesitatingly loosens grip on the fabric. Eventually you let go completely, allowing the dam to break. Dean sighs relieved when the painful pressure is taken away from his chest and then looks into your glistening eyes. Despite his deteriorating condition his hand now reaches for yours, rubbing his thumb over your bloody skin comfortingly, then gripping it tight.

     “Promise me--” He inhales sharply, trying to get enough air in to deliver his message. “- that you will look after my little brother. Make sure he doesn't do anything suicidal... And let him look after you too. Don't go through this alone, okay?”      A burn ignites in your chest, the hurting flames firing up your throat as you lower your gaze, unable to hold yourself up. Actual physical pain, caused by heartbreak. Nonetheless, you promise with a nod.       “One other thing. Now this… this is important.”       His voice gains a little strength, drawing your eyes back to his. His pupils are dilated slightly, the darkness of the alley surrounding them this dreadful evening, but the beautiful shade of jade that has always captivated you is still noticeable. You take him in, trying to look past the blood, past the bruising.      “Promise me you'll quit hunting.” Dean pleads.

     Your jaw lowers a little as you stare at him. Not nearly confident enough to take a leap that substantial, especially now that you are going to have to make it on your own, you shake your head frantically, and look down again.       “Dean, I can't,” you resist.      “Yeah, you can,” he pauses, trying to catch his breath.      You watch him struggle, blood coloring his teeth red as it gathers in his mouth. Despite that the shadows are closing in on him, he clears his throat.      “You’re talented, Y/N. You’re capable of so much more,” he says, smiling lovingly as he watches you. “Go get that degree you’ve always wanted, buy that little house by the lake that you’ve been checking on for months now. But don't dwell on revenge, okay? Leave this life behind.”      “How the hell am I supposed to do that without you, huh?” you reply, whimpering.       “It’s gonna be easier to move on from being a hunter now that I won't be there to slow you down.”

     As he swallows apprehensively, he glances down at his hand on yours. The message shocks you at first, but quickly transforms into compassion when the true meaning of his words settles in. Moved, you run your fingers through his hair as you support his head, trying to get through to him.       “You picked me up when I was at my worst, you took me for the mess I was and you made me into a better person. So don't you dare think that there has ever been a moment in my life that you were a burden, you hear me?” you say, the words coming out strong, contradicting the tears that stream down your face.      For the first time you witness a glazed fog in his eyes, not caused by the pain he is suffering from, but surfaced by your moving words. You know he needed to hear that, because he would never be able to convince himself of that fact. The guilt doesn't leave his weary mind completely, though.

     “I - I’ve done many stupid things in my life, but you know what I regret most?” Dean continues.      You shake your head, waiting in suspense as he coughs violently. He settles, though, and you wipe the blood away that drips from the corner of his mouth.      “Not settling down with you,” he continues. “Not taking the chance that was right in front of me. I waited too long, and I - I was too damn scared to let my guard down, that I drove right by the exit…”      You hush him, trying to ease the man who carries so much on his shoulders still.      “Hey hey… It’s alright,” you say, softly. “You know why? You didn't have to take that exit. I was right there on that highway trying to hitch a ride. Look who stopped and let me in, huh?”      You smile through the hurt and Dean mirrors your expression as he blinks slowly.      “It's been one hell of a ride,” he whispers, his flooding lungs making it difficult to speak.      “It sure has,” you chuckle, trying to mask a sniffle. “And I wouldn't have missed it for the world.”

     Fingertips try to break the trail of blood that has come down his handsome face when he closes his eyes again, pulling in a shallow breath with difficulty, trying to cope with the pain. It kills you to see him like this, to watch him stall, trying desperately to stay with you for a little while longer. He’s living on borrowed time.

     “You need to know something, too,” you start, steadying him with both hands now, cupping his face.       His eyelids part again, but he can barely focus. He is beginning to weigh heavily on you and it is petrifying to see how the strength oozes from his body. As his heartbeat slows to a worrying low pace, yours speeds up. Tears have now carved shimmering lines in your cheeks as you tremble, not ready for the moment that is about to come.      “I love you, Dean. You know that, right?” you say, falling apart.      Going on fumes, he looks up into your eyes, as the corner of his mouth twitches. There is no actual answer to your insecure question, but the line parting his lips growing further into a small smile says it all. Pupils bouncing over your features, trying to imprint this image in his mind, so that he can take the memory with him to wherever he will go in the afterlife. It’s the last thing he is going to see.       “Kiss me,” he breathes, barely audible.

     You lovingly stroke his cheek with your thumb as more tears spill from your eyes. Willingly, you come closer until you’ve closed the gap between the two of you completely, pressing a gentle kiss on his mouth. You are the one who he wants to feel in his final seconds. You are his last wish.      As his lips move over yours, dwelling in the moment, you understand that this is his way of saying ‘I love you, too’. His taste that is so familiar to you, has mixed with the metallic flavor of blood, but you try not to think of that matter. Memories of all your epic moments with him flash through your mind, and God, how beautiful those memories are. 

     4th of July on an empty desert road on the hood of the Impala, beer instead of champagne, shooting stars instead of fireworks. Driving across the country for a Bob Seger concert and ending up right in front of the stage, you dancing freely and him singing along every word. The first time he took your hand in his while riding down the 101 in California, finally allowing himself to fall for you. The first time you kissed him under the traffic lights, stretching the moment until the lights turned green and the cars behind you started honking, but neither of you cared. All you want is to make more of these memories, for those intimate moments to carry on. But they will not. This is going to be the final moment you will share. So you put all the love you carry for him in this last kiss, just like you did in the first.

     You feel his last breath on your lips without realizing it. It’s only when he fails to respond to your touch, that you freeze. Paralyzed, you wait as fear of your worst nightmare coming true begins to crawl up your throat, closing it off. You slowly remove your lips from his, not ready to look at his motionless face that you still hold in your hands.       “Dean?”      His eyes are closed, like he’s sleeping and could wake up at any second, but the silence is horrifying. Frightened by what is right in front of you, your fingers slip down to his neck, desperately trying to find a pulse. You relocate your fingertips on his artery in denial, looking for a heartbeat, a breath, any sign of life.       “No no no no…” you speak again, repeating his name more forceful. “Dean!”

     Unable to accept what has in fact become reality, you shake your head as you keep holding Dean up, unable to bare feeling him slip from your hands. Desperately, you try to force him to feel your touch once more, running your fingers through his hair, caressing his clammy skin, as you whisper to yourself in order to keep calm. This is not happening. This can't be happening. This must be a very, very twisted dream. This is not real, this is not real, this is not real.

     But it is. It is real. And just like that, your light is gone.

     Your breath hitches in your throat and the confirmation hits you like a freight train. You let his lifeless body slip against your chest as you fold your arms around him, letting his head rest on your shoulder. A heart wrenching cry reverberates through the back alley. Unable to breathe you struggle to let the cool air fill your lungs, so unsettled by the loss of the man that you love, that you can’t imagine yourself ever getting up again. As sirens approach in the distance and echo between the concrete of Chicago, you hold Dean close, your tears mixing with his blood, your wailing breaking the silence.

     Three days ago, you were faced with a choice and made the wrong one.      Three days ago, you could have decided to spend the rest of your lives in peace, but you promised yourself, one last job.       Three days ago, it wasn't Dean who drove past the exit. It was you.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to reblog my work or buy me coffee (Link in bio at the top of the page).

This work is written by me, Kate Huntington, and it is under no circumstances allowed to copy my work.

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[quelbound]

RIP in pieces 💚

Send “RIP” and I’ll write a drabble about my muse dying ll @spectrisconsarcio​ ll this took FOREVER to write but ITS FINALLY DONE. I put it under a cut because it’s just under 2k words. also there’s a very suffering magister somewhere underneath it.

He should have seen it coming. The opportunity must have been too great to pass up. Not long after Lor'themar had been called to duty by their Warchief, alongside Blightcaller and whatever remained of the Horde fleet after Zuldazar, things had quickly delved into chaos. No sooner had all contact from Theron’s ship ceased than did the Alliance army appear at their gates. Whatever ill feeling that had quickly settled in his gut over the sudden loss of contact from the Regent Lord had quickly been set aside to deal with the now all too real threat at hand.

He should have known those bastards would try something like this. Whatever happened to their wayward leader and his entourage, Rommath wanted to blame on the Alliance’s doing. Why else would they attack at such a convenient time? It was all too perfect timing and the more he contemplated it, the more agitated Rommath became.

He cursed loudly before turning to Halduron, though the Ranger-General seemed to be on the same page. Calling for his rangers to rally, and Rommath his magi, the leaders had set out into the city to defend their people and rescue those innocents they could manage to reach in time.

Outside of the Spire, the city had burst with activity as people attempted to flee; cries and screams entangling with the sounds of the enemy forces forcing their way through the city. With a snarl, Rommath had flung a fireball to a dwarf that had come too close for comfort, satisfied as the ball of fire came into contact with the warrior. Exploding on impact, the dwarf had been enveloped in a blanket of crackling flame.

Arrows joined his magic and side by side Rommath and Halduron had managed to take down a number of Alliance dogs between them. However, at one point when the fighting seemed to lull slightly, Halduron had hesitated and lowered his bow. Glancing to the ranger, Rommath had been at his side in the next moment.

“Are you well? Are you injured?” He asked, scanning their surroundings suspiciously, keeping an arcanic force field around the two in case anyone saw them as easy targets.

“N-no. I mean. I’m fine. I think. This all just seems so…” Halduron trailed off, looking to Rommath with uncertainty and grief he hadn’t felt in over a decade. “..Familiar.”

He remained quiet for a moment, a sympathetic look playing over his features that would usually be a rare feat for the Grand Magister. But given the circumstances, the emotion was allowed. This was certainly very familiar. For the third time, their sacred city had been stormed and attacked. Halduron’s sudden bout of PTSD made sense. Rommath couldn’t say he hadn’t had a sliver of the same thought; the difference being this time they’d been caught unaware by the attack.

A twitch in Rommath’s brow at that had him scowling. They must have teleported in but through where and by whom? There were, frankly, a lot of possibilities. As glorious as Quel'thalas was, as much as Lor'themar fought for neutrality (or at the very least more freedom from the Horde’s leadership with every warchief that would be quick to use the elves as cannon fodder), enemies were aplenty. Exhaling harshly, Rommath could do nothing but speculate until he got answers. Which would do no good; he would likely find none.

Instead, he placed a reassuring hand on Hal’s shoulder. “I know. But the difference between now and then is we have a chance. These enemies are flesh and blood, not unholy abominations. We can win this. They fall just as easy as anything else. Do you want to be prey in your own home, cowering like a lost lynx cub, or are you going to fight like the skilled ranger I know you are? We will win this.” He replied.

Halduron’s expression hardened as he set his jaw. He tightened his grip on his bow once more, lifting it as he notched an arrow into the string. “You’re right. We can do this. We have to. For Lor'themar and all of Quel'thalas.”

“That’s the spirit. Now come, the battle awaits.” Rommath said, lowering the shield around them as they continued onward and into Augur’s Row.

No sooner had they set foot into the section of the city had things taken a turn. With each step they took, something felt off with the lack of people, their own or otherwise. It was quiet. Far too quiet for either ranger or Magister’s liking.

“Where..?” Rommath had begun as he took  cautious steps.“Rom, look out!” Hal had interrupted.

Rommath had glanced over to his companion briefly to see him dashing forward but whatever he’d seen had gotten to Rommath before he could. All of a sudden, the Grand Magister was having the wind forced out of him as a strong blow to the stomach sent him hurdling backwards a few feet. The attack had left him breathless, sprawled on his back as stars danced around his vision.

What the hell was that?

“Rommath!” Halduron called out a warning to the magister. It took a tremendous effort to roll himself but managed just in time as a void addled tentacle smashed atop the place he was at only seconds prior. With a grunt, Rommath returned to his feet, firing spell after spell to the void creature.

A quick glance around showed this not being the only one of its kind; other void entities crawled all through the row. Prowling, their ethereal bodies writhing in the way they walked and moved. This was bad. A name came to him. Rather two did. Alleria and Umbric. This taint had their names written all over it. If Rommath had to guess he’d put his gold on the latter. Umbric was some semblance of angry with Rommath for casting his lot of harlots out.

He would receive his answer not too soon after the realization as he spotted two of Umbric’s apprentices sleuthing about. Likely hadnt paid any attention to the commotion or trying to slip away. With a growl, Rommath wanted to deal with them but with a whole field of creatures between himself and Halduron with the apprentices, he could do nothing but watch them disappear into a rift.

With a huff, Rommath turned his attention back to the battle at hand. Hal had managed to shoot down two tentacles, working on his third, and another was coming Rommath’s way. With a flourish of his hands, a circle of fire entwined with the Magister, around and around until it burst just a few feet above him, disappearing into a summoning circle. In the next moment, the meteor was crashing down on top of the tentacle, causing it to hiss and recoil as flame consumed it.

While some damage was done to it, the thing was far from defeated as it came closer. In a swift motion, it lunged for the Magister, who retaliated with combusting himself completely. Again, the thing hissed its unholy screech as it coiled around him like an overgrown snake. Rommath expected it to release him but instead, it barreled him backwards and into Halduron.

Both men fell to the ground with respective grunts. The void things took this moment to overpower the two, lunging a sharp pointed barb downwards. Hal had pushed Rommath away just in time, getting the majority of the attack himself. The creature speared his shoulder, causing the ranger to drop his bow as his dominant arm quickly went numb. Blood was soon coating his arm but still Halduron kept going. With his other hand, he grabbed the hunting knife from his belt and sliced mercilessly at any that dared get too close.

“You idiot, you’re going to kill yourself!” Rommath hissed at him.

“At least I’ll go down fighting! I wasn’t going to let them kill you!” He retorted. With a slash, Hal had managed to slice off one of the tentacles barbed tips. It coiled in on itself before disappearing into a cloud of void energy that seeped into the ground around them.

Rommath said nothing as he dashed forward, returning the arcanic force field around the duo as another tentacle aimed to crush them. Instead, it flailed helplessly against the shield. Rommath kept it up, the things slamming themselves repeatedly against the barrier to no avail. With a horrendous realization, both elven leaders saw more and more of these things surrounding them. They were hopelessly outnumbered.

“What do we do?” Halduron looked to Rommath.

“Im… not sure.” Rommath replied hesitantly. He could always teleport them away but..it was a risky move. He would have to drop the barrier to cast it, giving the things an ample opportunity to strike once more. If he was fast enough it could work.. But there were far more enemies than there were of them. The likelihood it would work was slim to none..

There had to be another way. There’s always a way. Rommath always had a plan. Think, damn you, think!

“Rom…what are they doing?” Hal interrupted his thoughts.

The tentacles around them had begun slithering amongst themselves, like a group of snakes banding together. The mass amount of them caused the void creatures to morph together, growing in size, thus adding more pressure onto the barrier. More weight caused more mana to go into keeping the thing up. Rommath had always prided himself on his mana control but this….. This was something new entirely.

It didn’t take long before the void mass had sent Rommath to his knees in a desperate attempt keep the barrier up. He was beginning to struggle, gasping and breathing heavily as his strength slowly depleted. At one point, just as the first cracks had begun to show on the barrier, Rommath was sure his nose had begun to bleed from the amount of energy it was taking to hold it together.

It wasn’t working.He was failing.

Rommath gasped one last time as the realization set in. There was nothing he could do now. Nothing..except..

“Halduron! Come here!” He managed to grit out.

Thankfully the ranger didn’t question him for once and obeyed, kneeling beside Rommath with a concerned look at his friend. With as much of a steadying breath as he could muster, Rommath closer his eyes. In his last desperate attempt, Rommath channeled his magic into Halduron, sending him wide eyed into a portal below him, just big enough for one person as it was all he could manage, the ranger disappeared safely just as the mass crashed down on top of Rommath.

The force of the weight on top of the Grand Magister had caused sickening cracks throughout his body as bones were shattered. He wanted to scream, to fight back, do something, but in the matter of seconds he was decimated into a broken ragdoll. The void mass didn’t seem to be done with him as it not so gently picked him up, his entire being nothing but blinding pain. He was still alive, as much as he wished he wasn’t in that moment, and the void mass seemed agitated by this fact.

In one swift, final movement the mass had reeled back as far as its twisted body could go before slamming him back down. In the last moments of consciousness he held, Rommath could swear he heard a mocking laughter coming from the creature. With his final breath, he could at least be contempt in the fact at least he managed to save somebody.

[thelifetimechannel]

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[yogaadvise]

The 3 Things That Helped Me Finally Stick with Meditation

Over the last couple of years, I have actually read a hundred various reasons that I ought to adopt a normal meditation practice.

It's the very best way to harness the power of the existing moment. It's a device for self-healing. It gives direct easily access to the divine.

The list goes on. My issue was that while I did recognize these almighty realities right from the begin, I additionally found myself seriously stuck when it involved in fact meditating.

My favorite spiritual authors certain made it audio easy-just take a seat, quiet your mind, as well as be. In method, this was a difficult, virtually difficult task. All the while, I chatted nonstop regarding the power of recognition in today moment. It had not been till I stumbled upon this quote by Marianne Williamson a couple of months back that I really felt pushed to make a change.

' It's not nearly enough just to know how vital healthy and balanced food as well as workout are, we must in fact consume well and also work out consistently to enjoy the benefits of those practices. So, it's not adequate to feel in one's bones the power of prayer and/or reflection, we should practice these rituals, through day-to-day commitment.'

It was then that I took a tough consider the factors why I wasn't practicing meditation as well as made adjustments to get over them. Because changing my overview, I'm lastly appreciating all the transformative advantages of meditation. When I've been faithful to my technique, I feel more based, much more focused. Anxiety and also worry are transmuted right into depend on and also approval of exactly what is. For a few minutes each day, I really feel deeply connected to something divine and also genuine and magical.

Here are three vital ideas that aided me create a routine practice and also unlock the advantages I had been promoting for so long.

1. I Realized Brief Reflection Sessions Are Worthwhile

My greatest difficulty made use of to be that I just really did not have time to practice meditation. Juggling job needs while taking care of 2 little ones typically left little time for much else. Then I came throughout a radical concept from writer Peter McWilliams: Practicing meditation commonly develops more time than it takes. I interpreted this to suggest that meditation calms the mind as if you actually feel less crazy and time-starved compared to before.

For me, this was a completely originality. Like the majority of people, I would certainly been conditioned that doing is much more effective compared to being. Not the various other way around.

' That's type of counterproductive because individuals believe that in order for us to be reliable, we have to be literally busy regularly,' claims Charles A. Francis, cofounder and director of the Mindfulness Meditation Institute, as well as writer of Mindfulness Meditation Made Simple: Your Guide to Searching for Real Inner Peace. 'In the back of our mind when we're practicing meditation, we have actually got our mind telling us we're squandering time. It could be sort of tough to obtain over that.'

The suggestion that I really did not need to invest hrs zenning out each day to take pleasure in the magic of reflection was truly liberating for me. This equated to 10 minutes of reflection in the morning as well as 10 mins at night-that's it. Francis claims that starting out with even 5 mins each day or 2 is a wonderful area to begin.

' Start with what's practical for you since if you're too enthusiastic and you do not satisfy that objective, after that you're going to obtain prevented and also beat on your own up,' he says. 'After that you begin feeling guilty.'

Self-forgiveness is key here. While my old M.O. was to obtain mad with myself for not meditating enough time, my brand-new outlook gave me a permission slip claiming that a 10-minute reflection was just alright. More compared to penalty, actually.

2. I Relabeled Exactly what I Was Doing

The term 'meditation' brings a lot of weight. It invokes pictures of yogi masters as well as the Dalai Lama, which can be frightening in as well as of itself. Reframing the whole point assisted me feel a lot more confident. Today, I do not 'meditate.' I just make time in my life for everyday moments of tranquility and also peace. That's all.

' Meditation, in the easiest kind, is just sitting silently and providing our mind a rest,' states Francis. 'Simply as a professional athlete trains the body, a meditator trains the mind.'

Chances are, you already meditate and also typically aren't even knowledgeable about it. My other half, a marathon runner, swears that practicing meditation isn't his thing. When I ask why he likes running, his solution is that it offers his mind a break. The rhythm of his feet striking the pavement, his breath going in and also out, the all-natural elegance he observes during a great run-all of it works in tandem to silence his thoughts as well as enable him to just be.

For my spouse, running is a form of meditation.

I have no intents of attempting a marathon, so I'm even more of a traditional-meditation type. (Legs crossed, eyes shut, silence.) But on more compared to one event, I've chatted with individuals who associate this picture with one religious beliefs or one more. This misdirected suggestion is enough to spook a great deal of people away.

' There's no teaching to approve and also no viewpoint,' states Francis, who has actually practiced meditation with Jews, Christians, Muslims, and also more. 'No matter what our spiritual custom may be, it doesn't conflict with it. It's totally suitable.' For me, diving head first into the magnificent room in between my thoughts is the closest I ever feel to God.

3. I Found That Thoughts Are Not the Enemy

Keeping your auto racing mind in check is a vital part of reflection. For some, myself suched as, wrangling runaway ideas can be a serious hurdle.

The point of reflection, nonetheless, isn't to beat your ideas, which is a massive misunderstanding. Even the term 'beat' indicates opposition. Resistance. As if you could win or lose at meditation. Rather, attempt surrendering to the experience fully.

Mindfulness reflection instructs us to just allow thoughts to be present without battling or following them. Recognize your thoughts as they arise. Greet to them, also. Watch, like magic, as they dissipate on their own. This straightforward act will immediately re-center you.

' Do not anticipate your mind to quit when you start meditating because that's completely unrealistic regardless of that you are or what does it cost? technique you have,' Francis claims. 'The mind is mosting likely to wander off within three seconds, yet the idea is to maintain bringing it back.'

While I bring it back via nonresistance, Francis's technique is to initial release all tension in the body before concentrating intensely on his breath or other focal factor. Whenever thoughts occur, he encourages bringing your attention back to whatever factor of focus you have actually chosen.

' Anchor your focus on that particular because our mind simply jumps everywhere when we first begin our reflection,' he includes. 'When we obtain sidetracked, we promptly pull our interest back, there's nothing mild regarding it.' Grasping that sweet place where your mind is vacant of idea and all that's left is pure awareness-even if just for a few fleeting secs at a time-is exactly what meditation is all about.

[brajeshupadhyay]

Exclusive: Not the time to play politics over appointment of health minister, says Shivraj Singh Chouhan; MP may extend lockdown if needed

The BJP government in Madhya Pradesh, which at present is grappling with the crisis of growing number of coronavirus positive cases and 76 deaths — second after Maharashtra with 223 deaths — may extend lockdown beyond 3 May, if the state is not completely out of danger.

The current government came to power in the state by toppling the 15-month-old Congress government — after a long political drama that culminated just two days before the complete lockdown of the country announced by Prime Minister Narendra Modi began on 25 March. The state has functioned without a cabinet since then. Madhya Pradesh is the only state in the country with no health minister during this pandemic.

Ahead of a likely cabinet expansion on Tuesday, Chief Minister Shivraj Singh Chouhan, in an exclusive interview with Firstpost, discusses in detail about his strategy to combat COVID-19 pandemic, plans to reboot the economy and redress agrarian issues.

What is the Madhya Pradesh government’s approach towards lockdown?

Government is well prepared to fight this havoc and we’re leaving no stone unturned for the well-being of people. Right from the moment I took oath as the chief minister, I focused my attention on dealing with this disaster. The first challenge before us was to supply adequate medical equipment, medicines, masks, PPE kits etc. Now the supplies have been ensured. Initially, cases of coronavirus infection were less in Madhya Pradesh. At present, the number of such cases has increased. But, in many districts, conditions are now better than before. We’ve made complete monitoring arrangements. Senior and competent officers are looking after the mechanism of the system in every field. We have given necessary guidelines to government and private hospitals, and medical colleges. We also organised a training program for private hospitals after meeting with the Nursing Home Association. Many private hospitals are proposing to give their entire hospital to deal with this epidemic. We have appointed separate cells, separate officers and set up control centres. Work is being done for better implementation of the protocol that we have got for prevention of COVID-19 by the Central government. There will be no reduction in the supply of basic needs.

Madhya Pradesh Health Department, medical staff and administration are working with full vigour to control the spread of the virus. Telemedicine centres have been set up in all the districts to help doctors directly communicate with the COVID-19-affected people through video calling. An app has been developed to monitor the quarantined persons, with the help of photo-based geo-tagging method. Training modules are being provided through WHO and UNICEF to impart immediate training to nurses and paramedical staff. To solve the problems faced by citizens during the lockdown, round-the-clock control rooms and call centres have been set up at the state and district levels. All kinds of essential facilities are being provided adequately in the affected areas.

Are you planning to relax it gradually, if so how?

The good news is that in many places we have been able to control the infections. Initially, some cases were found in Jabalpur but now the situation is under control there. The situation in Bhopal has also improved. Gwalior and Shivpuri got completely free of COVID-19 infection. The positive news makes us believe that if we all come together and fight this disaster following the rules of social distancing and staying indoors, we can defeat this menace. For me, the first priority in any situation is the well being of every single person in Madhya Pradesh. Right now, my duty is to protect their health. It is our responsibility to maintain patience and extend mutual support for a few days more to fight the pandemic.

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I hope we will overcome this crisis very soon and succeed within this period itself.

In case we’re unable to get out of danger completely even after the lockdown, or if some more time is required to handle the crisis, the lockdown can be extended. The final decision will be taken on the basis of the outcome after lockdown ends and in the interest of the state.

Madhya Pradesh was much below the ladder in terms of COVID-19 positive cases and fatalities (first case of death on 25 March) initially. Why did it become the second state after Maharashtra in terms of deaths (76 deaths) gradually?

It is a challenging time not only for the state but for the whole country. We are trying our best. Initially, there were few cases in Madhya Pradesh, primarily in Jabalpur. But after that, there was a rapid increase in the number of cases around major cities like Indore and Bhopal. Tablighi Jamaat members from Madhya Pradesh, who attended the Markaz event in Delhi in March, came back and scattered into many corners and prime areas of the state. They responded reluctantly, didn’t come forward willingly and thus indirectly spread the infection. People with foreign travel history visited Indore, Bhopal and a few other places concealed the fact due to lack of awareness or other reasons. But we have increased medical facilities and are consistently trying to strengthen medical infrastructure across the state. New cases are still being found but we have divided the state into different zones. More than 400 containment areas and hotspots have been created in 26 districts. We’ve done 100 percent survey and contact tracing in all such areas. Screening and quarantining of more than 55,000 people have been undertaken. Arrangements have also been made to ensure the availability of all essential commodities in such areas.

India’s cleanest city consecutively for three years — Indore seems to have a growing number of cases — 897 cases and 52 deaths and has become a Coronavirus hotspot. What is the plan to contain it?

Indore is the prime commercial centre and densely populated city of the state. A large number of people from Indore travel abroad for business. Initially, such people concealed their travel histories and spread the infection by coming in contact with others. We are giving special attention to cases of infection found in the city. In Indore, the entire government staff, including the police and administration, along with public representatives, social workers, organizations, media and the public, has been fighting the battle against coronavirus wholeheartedly. I am confident that we will win this battle soon and Indore will set an example. I have reviewed the situation of the epidemic in Indore and the rest of the state, through video conferencing.

I have instructed on effective implementation of the strategy of ‘Identify, Isolate, Test and Treat’ (IITT) in all districts. With this strategy, we will be able to conquer coronavirus soon. The coronavirus testing rate in Indore is much higher than the rest of the state. A total of 5,120 samples have been taken in Indore, out of which 1,000 samples have been sent to Delhi for testing. So far, 3.9 lakh persons have been surveyed in the infected areas. Nearly 13 lakh people have already been surveyed in the entire city and another 21 lakh will be surveyed in the next seven days.

I have also given clear instructions for fair price ration to be sent to all districts in sufficient quantity and there should be no delay in the distribution. If there is no shop, the ration will be delivered at home. In order to ensure that vegetable and fruit crops are not spoiled, decentralised purchase of these perishable commodities can be arranged in a protective manner outside the city.

As per the instructions of the Centre, a containment plan has been prepared and implemented. Under rapid action, we have increased the number of investigation teams in the affected areas, in which three types of teams are working. One team creates public awareness and provides consultation, the second team collects samples by visiting homes and the third team provides psychological support to people by allaying their fears. We have arranged for the sample collection from home instead of hospitals so that a suspected infected person can be tested and isolated at the same time. In Indore, Bhopal and surrounding regions, instructions have been given for strict adherence to social distancing.

Coming back to power after 15 months, what according to you are the immediate concern, hurdles and challenges in combating COVID-19 pandemic?

The immediate concern is fighting and winning this war against coronavirus and the safety of the people. Hurdles and challenges are part of life. Although this situation is unprecedented, we have faced tough times earlier as well but have overcome and won every time with the support of the people of Madhya Pradesh. This time too, I firmly believe that with the support of the people, we will surely win. Saving lives is the biggest challenge in this fight against the COVID-19 pandemic.

In the state, doctors, paramedical staff and even police have been attacked during the lockdown. What action will your government take against miscreants and what measures will be taken to prevent more such incidents?

We are continuously trying to counsel such persons so as to remove fears and misinformation about COVID-19, yet such incidents happen, which is very unfortunate. The Central government, the state governments and the entire administrative machinery of the country are repeatedly requesting people not to panic and to cooperate with relief workers. Instead, some incidents have been very disappointing. Recently, such incidents occurred in Uttar Pradesh too. No one will be spared if found disobeying the law, risking the lives of others or not cooperating. Those who attacked the officials are already behind bars under the provisions of the National Security Act and strict action will be taken against them.

What has the government done for migrant labourers and workforce in the state?

Adequate arrangements to provide food and ration to all the needy have been made. Many labourers from MP work outside the state; more than 5,70,000 workers had come to the state till 3 April. In view of the danger of infection, these migrant workers have been lodged separately in 2,792 places. Food has been arranged for them at 4,671 places in which private individuals and institutions are cooperating. Regular health check-up of migrant labourers is being done. This is the reason that only one labourer has been found coronavirus positive in the rural area, who is being regularly monitored and given required treatment. For monitoring health of migrant labourers, separate testing centres have been set up at 1,804 places at the Gram Panchayat level. A list of such labourers, who are ill, has been prepared and they are being monitored till recovery.

Recently, more than Rs 88 crore has been deposited in the accounts of 8,85,000 labourers, amounting to Rs 1,000 per worker, to help them meet their daily needs. Food arrangements have been made for daily wagers and also for those who do not fall under the BPL category but are unable to generate income due to lockdown. Instructions have given to provide two square meals to them from the amount available under the Panch Parmeshwar scheme of the Rural Development department.

Has the state government been effective in sending essential goods to poor localities?

Three months advance ration has been provided by the government to all the ration cardholders of the state. Apart from this, I have directed all district administrations that ration should be provided to the poor, labourers or any other person stuck in any district without food. So far, ration has been made available to more than five crore beneficiaries. On average, two lakh people are being fed daily in rural areas and 2.5 lakh in urban areas. The ration is also being given to those who don’t have ration cards.

How do you plan to reactivate the economy in the state?

It is, indeed, an unprecedented disaster and is surely going to disturb the economy of the state but we need to be well-prepared to face upcoming conditions at the earliest. This fact is in our checklist for the betterment and welfare of the state. The state is facing a monthly loss of around Rs 2,000 crore to Rs 3,000 crore, and we’re deeply concerned. We have formed a state-level committee to discuss measures to reboot the state’s economy and to regain the economic and financial momentum once the crisis ends. Wheat procurement is already in process. We are also planning to start the manufacturing industries soon in keeping with the central guidelines regarding COVID-19. We’ve already permitted transportation of goods, to keep the supply chain hassle-free. The production in the pharmaceutical sector is already on. We will gradually reopen remaining commercial activities across the state depending on the situation. For now, we have also allowed small economic activities in the green zones and small towns of the state. We will strictly follow the guidelines issued by the Government of India on restarting certain industries from 20 April onwards.

But it should be kept in mind that no labourer from the infected area would be allowed to report to work. All protective measures should be adhered to at the workplace. As far as possible, arrangements should be made for the workers to stay in the workplace.

When are you going to appoint ministers in your cabinet? There are allegations that the absence of a health minister has affected the fight against COVID-19.

In my opinion, this is not the right time to play such political games but we live in a democratic system, where everybody has the right to speak. However, allegations are not true. It is a fact that the council of ministers plays a crucial role in governance and ensuring the welfare of the state. As soon as I was sworn in as the chief minister, our primary focus was to prepare for this unprecedented battle, keeping in mind the safety of all public representatives as well. I am continuously coordinating with our MLAs and MPs and with their consultation, I am making decisions for the welfare of the state. Recently, we formed a 10-member committee to look after different aspects of this fight against COVID-19 and to support the mechanism built to fight this pandemic. As far as cabinet formation is concerned, whatever decision is taken, you will certainly get information about it.

Once the COVID-19 pandemic gets over, what would be your biggest challenge as the chief minister? What about the problems faced by farmers due to non-fulfilment of loan waiver promised to them by the Congress government?

Farmers are the backbone of our economy. Providing them with the right value of their crop will be our priority. We have already initiated procurement of wheat except in some districts that are affected by the pandemic. The crop loan scheme — that provides crop loans to farmers at zero percent interest — will also be continued in the year 2020-21. The previous government was considering shutting down this secure facility. Farmers are our priority and Madhya Pradesh government has been working relentlessly for the welfare of farmers. In this hour of crisis, we will give additional facilities to farmers. Agricultural activities will be encouraged in the state once this crisis gets over. As a respite, Rs 2,990 crores of crop insurance for FY 2018-19 and 2019-20 are being distributed immediately. I will do everything possible to ensure that farmers are not affected by this pandemic. I am also restarting the Sambal Yojna for the poor which can really make a difference in their lives.

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