#and wanting to make me /laugh./ fully. without shame. not acting like I’m ‘too much.’
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Still trying to come to terms with the intensity of how much I miss you just. Doesn’t make sense. At all. Feels like a bone break in my chest that I’m gritting my teeth through and still trying to keep myself distracted.
…right. July.
Except it’s still going to be someplace that has me on-edge at best. And I still just don’t get it with you not coming here if you seem so happy to see or hear from me.
Guess I’ll see how things really are in July. But if you’re worried about unequal reciprocation…c’mon. This one is. Just. Why not?? Once a month, once every two months? On your own or with your family? Or…y’all invite us over on an evening or something? I digress…
#tiger’s roar#…okay I do kinda know why#I’m not used to people IRL actually being KIND to me. seeing how AWFUL my mental health actually is and not running away in terror#or WORSE: attacking me. or manipulating me#actually looking HAPPY to see me. REALLY happy. impulsively happy#and wanting to make me /laugh./ fully. without shame. not acting like I’m ‘too much.’#for god’s sake our senses of humor are just as awful as the other’s. very wry and somewhat morbid#and definitely sacriligious in a way only Grew Up Church Still Here Apparently can be#we’re both artistic and musical. writers. I do dabble in acting when I can. they’re dedicated to making filmmaking work#there’s just…not any time given. and their Worry about not wanting to promise something they can’t keep becoming this All/Nothing#…I just want what can be reasonably reciprocated. that’s…that’s it#and I just want to know what that even is#instead of…clinging to someone else claiming they really like me as a person/friend and their in person reactions betraying them#…can you please just. trust me? that I’m not going to let your energy and time be taken and boundaries crossed?#but. the distance when I just don’t understand it. that hurts#like long distance would honestly hurt less than this All Or Nothing
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Whumpees been getting better.
They’d been forcing themselves to put in the work it took. Taking their meds, following doctors orders, showing up to therapy sessions.
To everyone, it looked like they were on the fast track to a speedy recovery.
But late at night, when no one was around, they weren’t as perfect.
They clawed and scratched at healing wounds, sobbing till they gagged and choked, writhing like a frantic dying animal on the bathroom floor.
They had to hold it together, they couldn’t give up the act now, it was too late…
One night, Caretaker is passing through, looking for a sheet of notes, and heard a scuffling noise.
“Whumpee? You okay?”
They ease the bedroom door open and see no one, but the noise intensified. They pushed open the closet door, and sunk to their knees.
“S-stop! Don’t look at me!” Whumpee retched, shying away from Caretakers horrified stare, “Please, just go away…”
“What? Whumpee, no! Oh my god, we have to get you back to the doctors-“ they reach out to help them, and when Whumpee jerked away, Caretaker had blood on their hands.
“I’m fine- Just- Please don’t tell them, please, god, please…”
It was like they were falling apart at the seams, fully pushed to the edge.
“O-okay, I won’t tell anyone, okay,” Caretaker bargained, “But you have to let me help you, then.”
“You swear?”
“I swear.”
Caretaker helps Whumpee up and onto a chair for them to fix their popped stitches, unable to process the shaking figure before them. They had been laughing and cracking jokes all dinner, how had they held this in so long?
“Here, put your arm out, let me get the first aid kit…” they coax, deciding to give themselves a moment to think, “Is there any other injuries that need attention?”
Whumpees eyes were blank and glassy, sliding over their body like they were trying to see but couldn’t pull themselves back to the present enough to do so.
They shook their head.
“Okay…”
They didn’t quite believe that but unless they saw something, they’d take Whumpee’s word for it.
As gently as they could, they brushed a disinfectant pad over their arm, their heart pinching when Whumpee flinched away. “It’s over, that should be the worst of it… Now we’ll just wrap it up,” they soothe, winding the gauze around their arm then securing it with tape, “There, all good.”
“Thank you…”
“Anytime.”
Caretaker stooped to meet their eyes. “Really. Anytime you need me, I’ll be here.”
They nodded, again, not fully in the present.
“Whumpee. Look at me, okay?”
They obeyed, struggling to focus.
“I’m here for you. I love you. We all love you. We want to help you, so you don’t have to face this on your own. I know you’ve been trying to pretend that you’re perfectly fine but it’s okay if you aren’t.”
Finally, finally, it seems like their words sunk in.
Whumpees hand moved up to cover their mouth, their eyes squeezing shut as they sobbed without a sound.
“We’re here for you, everything’s gonna be okay…” Caretaker murmured, pulling them into a loose hug, “Everything is gonna be okay, I promise. We’re gonna make it okay.”
They stayed like that for who knows how long, Whumpee cradled against them as they cried themselves out.
Slowly, the tears tapered off, and they looked up, hazy and exhausted but here.
“I’m sorry…”
“What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I just- I didn’t want to be a burden… I wanted-“ they cut themselves off as their voice starts to crack.
“What did you want Whumpee?”
“Could you love me like you used to?”
“Yes. Always.”
Whumpee shook their head.
“You used to never see me cry… How could you? And I- I don’t know if I can do it…”
“I love you, period. I respect you the same way, whether I’ve seen you cry or not. But what do you mean ‘if you can do it’? Do what?”
“I can’t…be strong, anymore. I don’t- It hurts too much to be strong right now.”
The confession seemed to crush them. They looked down, shame faced, as tears started again.
“You don’t have to be strong. Especially not now. You’ve been so strong for so long, you can take a break.”
“I don’t want anyone else to see me like this… Please, please don’t tell anyone-“
“I won’t. I promise.”
Whumpee nods, sighing as they tried to wipe their eyes and pull themselves together.
“You can rest with me. If you want to be strong in front of everyone else, that’s okay, but behind closed doors, you can lean on me. I know you’re strong, even when you’re tired. I’ll never think any different.”
They looked up from their lap, their shoulders slumping and their entire body going limp. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Can you stay with me? Just for tonight?”
“Of course.”
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Know Your Place
Pairing: Naoya x Reader
Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Misogyny, Abuse, Rape/Non-Con, Humiliation, Degradation, Feet Stepping
Summary: You should have known better than to believe that Toji could protect you from the Zenin forever. Once a Zenin woman, always a Zenin woman and Naoya intends to make sure you fully understand that.
Growing up as a female in the Zenin clan means you’re always expected to serve, to look beautiful. Never speak unless requested to. Never look any of the men in the eyes. Obey. Be submissive and demure.
There are thousands of rules and dozens of leering eyes ready to punish you for a single minor infraction. So as much as you hate the life you’ve been born into, you know better than to act out and bring attention to yourself, knowing full well especially now as an adult woman that the price of transgressions are too high to pay.
You’d be incredibly fortunate for the usual heavy backhands Naobito and Ogi Zenin would grace your face with when you were still a minor, for the cruel condescending words Naoya would sneer at you. Those were child’s play compared to what’s in store for you now and you shudder when you remember the images of fellow female servants who had attempted to escape only to be easily captured, clothes stripped and body laid bare for the entire clan to see. You remember the fear that would make you tremble as the men howled in laughter and jeers as they took turns smacking their victim’s ass, pawing and groping her body. You remember sobbing when you were forced to watch as fists, cocks, objects that you thought were far too large were shoved between flailing legs.
But nothing keeps you in line more than the cold dread you’d feel heavy in your chest when you’d be forced to clean out the room of one of your ex-maids, preparing the room for the next poor soul born into a never ending life of servitude. As much as you hate this life, it’s still better than being tied up and forced to be nothing more than a Zenin sex doll, used by every man in the clan until there’s nothing left but an empty husk of skin.
So you keep your head down, ignoring the cruel words and predatory gazes that follow you. You enjoy the few moments you have in the servant quarters alone with your fellow maids, giggling and whispering to each other, pretending that you’re just normal women. Those friendships you form warm your heart and you take solace in the sympathetic glances and warm brief squeezes of hands when a Zenin man is particularly harsh in their treatment of you.
Maybe that’s why you can’t keep your body still when the woman who shares the same room as you accidentally spills hot tea all over Zenin Toji. And despite how terrified you are of Toji’s hulking figure and blood-stained reputation, you throw your body in between him and your friend, creating a feeble physical shield for her from his wrath.
A part of you is together enough to vaguely acknowledge how strange it is that Toji hasn’t roared a single word yet, hasn’t laid a hand on you. But you’re not foolish enough to think this is over and you throw yourself to the floor in a degrading groveling bow, begging him to forgive your friend, to have mercy on the both of you.
You know exactly who Zenin Toji is and you prepare yourself for the feeling of his infamous sword slicing through your neck. What you aren’t prepared for is the way he lets out a boisterous laugh, green eyes glimmering in amusement when he sees the bewildered look on your face as you tentatively peek up at him.
“You’ve got guts. Tell you what. I’ll forgive you and your clumsy friend if you become my personal maid. Deal?”
It’s a rhetorical question and you stiffly nod your head, tears forming in your eyes as you imagine the rest of your life chained to Toji’s bed, stuck in the lair of a beast.
Except your life isn’t anything like you had imagined and you’re stunned when Toji barks at you to go retire to your own room and get some rest so you’re ready to keep up with tomorrow.
Life is...surprisingly normal. Well as normal as it can be in the household of one of the top Jujutsu sorcerer clans in the world. You scowl at Toji as he teasingly throws a pile of sweat stained clothes and towels on top of your head as he walks out of the bath.
“You’re getting a little stronger, little lady. I almost even felt the punch you threw at me in training today.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the slight quirk of your lips and swell of pride at his backhanded compliment.
Toji isn’t anything like the rest of his clan and it goes deeper than just his lack of cursed energy or his supernatural strength. He’s kind. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch, but you genuinely believe he has a good heart. Not once has he ever spoken maliciously to you. Not once has he ever laid a hand even borderline inappropriate or suggestive on you. And sure, you don’t necessarily enjoy doing his dirty laundry, cleaning his room, and making his bed every day and night, but he makes it easy to forget that you’re just a lowly maid.
He talks to you as if you’re his equal, carefully listening to you, acknowledging your points (even if he mocks you when you do say something silly or that he disagrees with). He invites you to eat meals with him. He trains you deeming you too wimpy to last long without at least some basic defense skills. Your time with Toji is one of the few moments of happiness you know and you greedily indulge.
But unknown to you, your new proximity to the black wolf of the Zenin clan has more than one eye looking at you in interest and above all, Zenin Naoya can’t stop fixating on you.
Naoya has always had a strange mix of respect, disdain, and jealousy towards the older man and he can’t help himself from wanting what Toji has, especially when the both of you look so irritatingly happy chattering away with each other as if you have no cares in the world. How dare a lowly Zenin servant look so carefree. How dare curse-less Toji make a mockery of the rest of the clan by living a shame-free life despite how hard they try to humiliate him for it.
Has Naoya ever been happy? Ever been relaxed?
He can’t remember ever laughing as hard as Toji is now in response to something you’ve said or done. He can’t remember smiling so freely like you are as you playfully slap Toji and try to get him to stop teasing you. A green eyed monster slithers inside of him and before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s making his way towards the both of you.
“Aren’t you two as unseemly as usual. I know you don’t care for our clan’s reputation or rules, but really? Parading your slut around so shamelessly? That’s a new low even for you.”
It’s adorable how you scurry away, cowering behind Toji’s broad figure, fear written all over your face. And although Naoya had done this to get under Toji’s skin, he can’t help but wish the older man would storm off and leave you behind in his clutches. He wonders if you’d be this scared and docile underneath him, wonders how tight you’d be while you tremble in fear while he sinks inside of you…
His thoughts are abruptly interrupted as Toji snorts, slinging a muscular arm over your shoulder and dragging you off with him, subtly tucking you safely into his side and away from Naoya’s hungry gaze.
Usually being ignored and dismissed would rile him up more, but as he watches the two of you amble away and sees your innocent and confused face, unsure what had just happened and what’s causing Toji’s strangely touchy behavior, his appetite is whetted and you’re what he’s craving.
What he hadn’t accounted for is how protective Toji is of you. So strange for a man who doesn’t seem to care about anyone except himself. But Naoya supposes that’s just a testament for how good you must be in bed. He can’t think of any other reason why Toji would waste his time and efforts on an insignificant woman like you.
You’re never left alone long enough for him to corner. Just when he sees you by yourself and swoops in to shove you in a spare room, Toji suddenly looms beside you, green eyes sternly pinning Naoya down with a warning. And as much as Naoya would love to rise to the challenge, he knows that he doesn’t stand a chance against Toji, so he slinks away in defeat, again and again.
It only makes him want you more and he grits his teeth as he slams into one of the whores in his bed who vaguely reminded him of you if he squints in just the right way.
He supposes he should be more remorseful as the news of Toji’s death spreads like wildfire through the Zenin household. But all he can see is a light at the end of the tunnel. It takes every last bit of restraint in him not to immediately hunt you down and devour you, but he bides his time. After all the teasing and taunting you’ve put him through just one taste isn’t going to satisfy him anymore.
No, he won’t just ruin you and throw you away after a single night. He plans on dragging this out, using you, tasting you until it fully sinks in that this is all you’re good for, that he owns every part of you inside and out.
His cock twitches at your swollen face covered in salty tear streaks. You look so pathetic, so scared when he takes his time strolling into your room, kicking your roommate out and locking the door behind him. It’s just the two of you and he feels the rush of power thrumming through his veins at how you tremble and cower before him. If only you were naked and not in those dreary mourning clothes…
But he has ample time for that and he wants to enjoy corrupting you, take his time watching your downfall.
“You’re my maid starting now.”
You mutely nod, but make no move and Naoya scoffs.
“I know Toji was soft with you, but let me set expectations straight. I’m nothing like him. Now get moving.”
“But this is my room-”
You yelp in fright as Naoya’s hand grips the front of your shirt and hauls your body until you’re forced to press against his body, feeling his breath against your face as he sneers at you.
“Sluts don’t get the luxury of their own room or bed. Toji spoiled you. Now move your stuff to my quarters. The only place you’ll be sleeping from now on is my floor or my bed. Understood?”
It’s a rhetorical question and all you can do is crumple to the ground when he lets go, staring unseeingly at Naoya’s retreating back as he exits your room, the weight of your new reality crashing down on you.
Sleeping on the floor is humiliating and uncomfortable. Naoya makes it a point to “accidentally” step on you when he gets on and off the bed, rudely nudging you awake with his feet, resting his soles on your face until you’re flailing around to breathe. But it isn’t as bad as wondering when the worst is to come.
At least you’re clothed. At least your innocence is still intact. So as much as you feel like nothing more than a dog, you take it. After all, your new life isn’t so different from your life before Toji aside from your new sleeping arrangements and the headache of being in close proximity to Zenin Naoya.
It’s entertaining enough in the beginning, watching you curl up on the floor like an obedient puppy, admiring how you never talk or lash out when he literally walks all over you. He even buys you a pretty new collar with his name engraved on it linked to a leash he holds in his hand or leaves tied to his bed.
But unlike a real pet you never warm up to him, always looking at him warily, body tense and nervous in his presence. Not once do you look at him with even the slightest hint of affection or fondness you used to stare at Toji with. He supposes that can’t be helped and he doesn’t care for anything disgusting like your love. But you don’t even seem remotely attracted to him as a man and that’s something his ego won’t allow for.
He knows women can’t stand his attitude. But he also knows that at their base, all women are sluts easily swayed by his good looks. He can’t even count the number of women who’ve insulted him to his face only to end up in his bed, moaning and screaming his name and their love for his cock.
You were supposed to be no different. But your continued disinterest in him infuriates him to the point where petty humiliation isn’t enough to sate his hurt pride.
“Strip and get in bed.”
You’re frozen stiff and he sneers at you while you’re on the verge of terrified tears.
“What? I’m not good enough for you? Don’t act like you aren’t used to this. I’m sure your old master had you warming his bed all the time-”
“Toji would never!”
Even he’s stunned by the weight of his backhand hit as it makes contact with your face, by the venom in his voice as he spits out his next words.
“Don’t you ever say that name in my presence again.”
He takes a few seconds to calm his breath, the crimson of the blood trickling from your nose grounding him as he finds his center once more. But then a thought crosses his mind as that red river finds its way to your lips.
“As punishment, let’s make sure you know what your mouth’s purpose is from now on. Words are wasted on a dumb whore like you anyway. Kneel and open wide.”
It’s oddly arousing watching your tears and blood stream down your face as you choke on his cock. Your efforts are half-hearted at best, but he doesn’t mind. Not when the instinctual way your throat flutters around him as he roughly thrusts his hips into your tight mouth suffices. He can see why Toji kept you around and he groans as his hand slips behind your head and pushes you until your face is squished against his abdomen.
Your mouth feels amazing and your muffled screams for air only add to the vibrations around his shaft. It’s enough to have him spilling down your throat and he keeps you tightly pressed against him, forcing you to drink every last drop he gifts you with. And only when your throat finally stops its forced swallowing does he release you, leering down at your pitiful form heaving for breath.
The bitter taste of his seed is all you can taste, all you can focus on as you greedily inhale much needed oxygen. You pray that he’s done, but you whimper when a strong hand easily pulls you up and begins to pull off your clothing. Instinctively you try to push the invasive appendages away from you, but you freeze at Naoya’s growled threat.
“Don’t make me hurt you any more than I have to.”
You know it’s not an empty threat. You’ve seen the quite literally broken bodies of women who had resisted too much against the Zenin men, against Naoya specifically. So you limply drop your arms to your side and stay still as he humiliatingly gropes and examines you like merchandise.
All you can do is clench your eyes shut as Naoya’s hands grab your breasts, kneading and weighing them in his hands, cruelly prodding and pinching your nipples to see your reactions. All you can do is bite back a muffled yelp when he forces you onto your knees and forearms on the bed, squeezing and smacking your ass, spreading apart your cheeks to closely look at your fluttering holes. All you can do is cry into the sheets as he fingers you open, breaching both untouched openings, his thick digits stretching your tight walls apart and taking their time to thoroughly defile you, using your own slick to loosen your ass.
You try to disassociate, try to imagine that this is just a medical examination. But your fantasies are shattered when something hard and thick slaps against your inner thigh as Naoya rearranges himself behind you, rubbing the head of his cock back and forth against your dripping entrance, coating his shaft with your juices.
“Naoya! Sir, please. I’ve never...You can’t-”
Your pleas are cut short as his hand painfully strikes your ass.
“Shut the fuck up. You’re ruining the mood with your sniveling voice. Remember what I taught you? Sluts don’t get to speak freely. They only get to moan and thank their masters.”
You don’t even know if you can speak even if you wanted to, not when his cock is forced into you in one go, the thick and lengthy shaft ruthlessly tearing you apart. It fills you, stuffing you full, and you don’t think there’s even room left in your body for words. The only thing you can release is a strangled scream, eyes and mouth blown wide open, fingers clawing at the sheets as you try to remotely ground yourself as the foreign sensation overwhelms you.
But Naoya has never been a patient man and there’s a certain sense of entertainment from watching you struggle and writhe underneath him. He begins a relentless pace before you can adjust to the feeling of him inside of you, hips slamming in and out of you, heavy balls bouncing against you.
You’re so tight, so hot, so wet and he can feel a rush of power from the confusion he begins to see setting on your face as forced pleasure begins to mix in with your fear and pain. Moans and high-pitched keens are finding their way in between distressed cries and he smirks at the way your eyes begin to roll back in your head, the way your hips begin to meet him halfway, greedily pushing back against him when he teasingly slows down his pace.
He laughs at the humiliation and embarrassment running rampant on your face when you whine as he abruptly stops
“Wow you really are a slut. You fucking love my cock, don’t you?”
He rolls his eyes as you adamantly shake your head in denial, bored by your playing hard to get act. But as he admires the way your pussy lips obscenely envelop his cock, your pretty puckered hole beckons to him.
“You’re fucking filthy, clamping down on me like a bitch in heat from just a thumb in your ass. You like that? Like having all your holes filled? Maybe when I break you in, I’ll share you with the rest of the clan. Bet you’d love that. Love having cocks in every hole, using every inch of you.”
Your orgasm takes the both of you by surprise in its speed and intensity and Naoya howls in laughter as he resumes fucking you, chasing his own high with his thumb still lodged in your ass, groaning in pleasure at how he can feel the tremors of your orgasm, the way your body convulses in the aftershocks of pleasure and onset of overstimulation.
You’re breathtaking like this, fucked silly, delirious, just a warm body and toy for him to do with as he pleases and it doesn’t take long for him to join you over the edge and add to the sticky mess already inside of you.
With a lewd pop he retracts his thumb from your now lewdly fluttering hole, shoving it into your mouth for you to clean and he smiles at how mindlessly obedient you are as you suck and lick the digit clean like it's your favorite lollipop.
You grimace when he finally pulls out, already feeling his cum beginning to leak out of you and you try and find the strength in your trembling and used body to push yourself off the bed. It’s time to retreat with your tail between your legs and you want nothing more than to spend the rest of the evening in the shower, harshly scrubbing every evidence of your utter defeat and conquest under boiling hot water.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
You open your mouth to speak, only to quickly clamp it back shut, remembering how your words only seemed to dig you deeper and deeper into trouble.
“You’re going to wash me and yourself and once we’re clean, you’re going to remain naked and in my bed until I’m ready to use you again. Think of it as a promotion. No more worrying your stupid little head about cleaning and laundry anymore. You’re being upgraded to my personal sex slave and bed warmer. Come on, I don’t have all day.”
You wonder if this is what it feels like to walk the plank, to approach your own death sentence as you robotically trail after Naoya’s figure towards his lavish bathroom. And as you lay in his bed that night, pristine and bare like a glorified sex doll, his broad arm possessively slung around your waist and forcing your bodies to mold together, you bid farewell to your past life, dreading what the future has in store for you.
#jujutsu kaisen smut#yandere jujutsu kaisen#naoya x reader#naoya smut#yandere naoya#tw: noncon#tw: abuse
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Markiplier x Depressed!Daughter!Reader - Voices
Requested by: azullluna
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(Y/n) felt numb as she sat beside her bed. Fat tears ran down her face without any sign of stopping, flowing over barely visible bruises that had been healing for days. She wanted to stop crying, she wanted to love herself and be brave in front of others, but she wasn’t and couldn’t.
The voices were so loud..
They tortured her, filling her mind with poison. They told her things she didn’t want to hear, but after listening to them for so long, she began to believe them. And the voices weren’t just in her head, they were outside it too, resonating from people she saw nearly every day.
They would only laugh and work hard to make (Y/n)’s life miserable. Everyone seemed to be against her, the teachers, the principal, her classmates, everyone. Well, everyone except her father and his friends, but they didn’t know about the bullying and she didn’t dare tell any of them.
What if they agreed with it?
They will
They’ll agree
They hate you
Everyone hates you
The alarm clock beside her showed the time. “6:57? Great.. Only around 45 minutes until my regularly scheduled hell.” (Y/n) was so tired. She hardly slept, her anxiety keeping her up until the ungodly hours of the morning, not allowing for much rest. How many times had she used makeup in order to hide the dark circles under her eyes and the bruises on her face? Too many to count. (Y/n) just didn’t want her dad to worry.
But why would he be worried?
He doesn’t care
The alarm clock rang and (Y/n) covered her ears as more tears flowed down her face.
It’s so loud..
It’s too loud..
She shut the device off and grabbed a hoodie. She couldn’t let her dad see the bruises. (Y/n) did her make up, concealer and foundation covering the imperfections of her face. Walking out of the bedroom, fully dressed for the day, she trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen. There at the stove was her father, Mark Fischbach.
Noticing her presence in the room, he turned around and smiled at her. “Hey there, princess! Good morning!” He looked so happy. (Y/n) was secretly jealous of that happiness. She wanted to be just as happy as him but she couldn’t be. It was impossible. She forced a smile and waved to him. “Morning, dad.” Chica and Henry, the family’s two dogs, ran up to her excitedly, their tails wagging behind them. (Y/n) pet them, her hands feeling heavy and the sounds around her beginning to sound too loud for her tired body to process as she tried to prevent them from licking her face and thus removing her makeup.
“I made pancakes, do you want any?” Asked her father and she shook her head. “I’m not hungry. Thanks though.” That was a lie. (Y/n) was starving and the smell of the griddle cakes certainly wasn’t helping. However, she didn’t want to eat anything.
It would be a shame if you got any bigger
Mark frowned at her refusal. Sure, he didn’t want to force food on her, but he noticed just how many times she had skipped breakfast lately. Pancakes were her favorite, and she refused them? That was odd. “Honey, are you feeling okay? You haven’t been acting like yourself recently.”
“I’m fine, dad.” The reply, to (Y/n)’s horror, sounded much more rushed than she meant it to be. Her dad was watching her, his eyes scanning her as if trying to find the answer to an unspoken question. “I.. need to go. See you later.” She said shakily, rushing away and out the door not hearing what her dad called after her.
Coward
When she arrived at school, (Y/n) was distracted by the memory of the look her father gave her. “Does he know? He couldn’t. I’ve been so careful. Was he worried about me?”
No he wasn’t
He doesn’t care
She walked into the classroom, being the first one in per usual. (Y/n) sat down at her desk and waited for the torture to start. Just like earlier this morning, she felt numb. You’d think that because of who her dad was, she would be a popular kid at school. She was, only it wasn’t a good kind of popular. Being the daughter of Makiplier meant that any complaints of bullying she had didn’t matter, especially if those complaints were about the spoiled brats of the rich parents who helped fund the many school projects and trips. They said she was only trying to seek attention and that her supposed bullies were “golden children” who could do no wrong.
No one cares about you
Attention seeker
As students began to arrive in the classroom, (Y/n) stayed quiet. Of course, her pretending to not exist didn’t mean that people couldn’t see her. Throughout the day, the voices got louder and louder with every smirk, jeer, and hit. She was shoved into lockers, punched multiple times for no reason, tripped by people in the classrooms and cafeteria alike, threatened by a teacher for speaking up and nearly falling asleep in class, and kicked in the legs just because.
(Y/n) couldn’t stop the tears that fell as she sat in the girl’s bathroom, hiding from her classmates who were about to leave school. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve this treatment.
Cry Baby
Worthless
Drama Queen
They never stopped, no matter how much she begged or pleaded. She was alone, so very alone. Everyone knew who her dad was (most of the school watched his YouTube channel and then word moved around fast), but they used that against her.
You’re not pretty enough to be Markiplier’s daughter
Ugly
You weren’t even planned
You’re a literal accident
I bet he secretly regrets having and raising you. You’ve probably caused him so much trouble
Burden
Waste of space
Every day, every hour, every minute, the voices shouted louder and louder till she could barely hear anything else. (Y/n) had grown far too used to this treatment and her self esteem was at an all-time low. Everyone just seemed to have left her life and taken her happiness with them, leaving her behind in the dust to pick up the pieces of her broken heart and mind.
Evil thoughts of pain and death had started to flood her mind long ago, but she didn’t want to die. How would her father react? How would everyone react? Would they miss her? Would they regret the bullying?
They wouldn’t miss you
No one cares
They’d be glad you’re gone
They’d regret nothing
The voices continued to spread their poison as she finally managed to calm herself down enough to leave the bathroom and go home.
When she returned from school, (Y/n) noticed new voices in the house. Irish and English alike, there were definitely guests here. She was able to recognize them and quickly moved through the house when she thought no one was looking. Her dad had probably told her that Jack, Ethan, Bob, Wade, Ethan, and Amy were coming over, but she had forgotten.
Useless
She got scared suddenly when she noticed Jack in the hallway leading to the stairs, talking to Ethan. They suddenly noticed her and smiled. “(Y/n)! Hi! It’s been forever since I’ve seen you! How was school?” Now she was really panicking. He couldn’t know. He’d probably tell her dad.
“Uhh.. hi, Jack! School was.. Uh.. it was good I guess. School being what it is.” One after the other, Jack and Ethan opened their arms for hugs and she complied, though she hid a wince when they accidentally squeezed her fresh injuries.
When the embraces ceased, she excused herself and ran up to her room without greeting anyone else. She closed the door and walked over to the mirror, taking off her sweater to observe the damage. Looking at what happened to her arms, she frowned. It didn’t look good at all. It would definitely take some time to treat these. “Better now than later.” She thought as she walked over to her desk, taking out a first aid kit. She turned on some music and got to work.
-downstairs-
Mark looked at the clock on his phone and frowned. “(Y/n) should’ve been home by now.” He checked his texts and email, but there was nothing from her school so that ruled detention out. “What’s wrong?” Asked Wade as he watched his friend in concern. “I expected (Y/n) to already have been home, but I don’t know where she is.”
“Oh, (Y/n)? Don’t worry, she’s already here, we saw her. She should be up in her room.” Said Jack who walked in alongside Ethan. “Seriously? Dang, I didn’t hear her come in.” Said Mark in surprise but then he noticed Ethan frowning. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m worried about her. (Y/n) I mean. She seemed kinda off when she came home. I don’t know if there was a test today or..?” Mark shook his head sadly. “I noticed her acting odd this morning. I’ll go talk to her. You guys discuss pizza toppings and movie options, I’ll go check on my daughter.”
As he walked up the stairs, Mark ran through possibilities in his head. “Maybe she didn’t eat this morning because she was too nervous about something? Tests sometimes do that to a person, especially if they forgot to study. Maybe that’s it? Or, maybe she just wasn’t hungry? Maybe I’m overthinking this?”
He arrived at the door to (Y/n)’s bedroom and knocked. “Hey, sweetie, it’s me. Can I come in?” There was no reply. He tried again. “Are you okay in there?” Nothing. Now he was worried.
“(Y/n)? I’m coming in.”
Mark opened the door and was horrified by what he saw. There sat his daughter on her bed, without a hoodie on, and with large, dark bruises littering her arms which were on full display. (Y/n)’s eyes widened as she noticed him looking at her. She had earbuds in so she hadn’t heard him knock and she was treating her bruises before he had entered. Mark closed the door behind him and approached her.
“What happened?”
He was so nervous and he noticed that she was shaking more and more with every step he took. Her breathing was becoming faster and faster and tears began to flow from her eyes, wiping away makeup which he hadn’t noticed was applied. When had she suddenly gotten such dark circles under her eyes, and was that a bruise? “I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” (Y/n) was whimpering and she began to hug herself, as if afraid I was going to hurt her. “Hey, hey it’s okay. You can tell me what’s going on. What happened? Who did this?”
(Y/n) wasn’t speaking and instead began to cry even harder. Mark’s heart nearly stopped. He prayed that she wasn’t doing any of this to herself. He had lost people this way before and he didn’t know what he would do if his own daughter was the next victim. He began questioning everything. “How long has this been going on? How did I never notice it? Is it because of me? Am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong?”
All his questions quickly melted away as he heard the choked sobs of his daughter. “Too much.. Everyone.. They won’t stop.. They hurt me and then no one.. believes me when I complain. They think.. I’m just looking for attention. And the voices.. They’re so loud.” Mark managed to put the pieces together in his mind and his eyes widened.
“Are you being bullied?”
(Y/n) nodded and Mark held his daughter gently as she cried into his shoulder. He didn’t understand why she was being picked on. Why hadn’t he been told yet? Why was he only finding out now, when the damage was so heavy? He’d certainly be having a word with the principal about this. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.”
“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” She started apologizing and he was quick to shush her. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Why didn’t you tell me this was going on? Do the teachers know?” She managed to choke out an “I didn’t want to be a burden, and they don’t care. They only care about their rich “Golden Children”.” Mark shook his head sadly. “You aren’t a burden. I don’t know who’s been telling you that, but it isn’t true. I care about you so much and you are such an amazing person, (Y/n).”
He’s lying
“No.. you’re wrong. I’m fat, and stupid, and ugly, and just a burden to eveyone I’m around. I don’t deserve to be your daughter. You deserve someone better. You can stop pretending to care. I already know you don’t. You’re probably so disappointed in me.”
Mark was enraged at what he was hearing but kept his voice calm. “No, you’re wrong. If you’re thinking all that stuff then you don’t know anything. I love you so much. You are beautiful, and smart, and you make me so incredibly happy. No matter what anyone else, or those voices say, you can’t ever make me not love you. No matter what you do, I will always love you.”
“But-”
“No no no. Listen to my voice. Focus on me, not on those demons. You are important. You are loved. You have a purpose. What other people think, it doesn’t matter because you have worth. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Love you for you because that’s what really matters. You are one of the most important people in my life and if I could get you to understand just how much you mean to me, I’d do everything in my power to prove it. I love you.”
“Dad..” (Y/n)’s voice trailed off as she rested in his arms, emotionally worn out. Mark rocked her side to side in a warm embrace, whispering soft nothing in her ear. When he pulled away, he noticed that she was beginning to smile. Mark could tell, it was real this time. It would take time for her to heal and recover, but it would be okay. He would be there for her every step of the way.
Just then, her stomach let out a loud rumble. He smirked as (Y/n) blushed in embarrassment. “You hungry? We’re thinking of ordering pizza.” She smiled and nodded, the sound of food making her empty stomach rumble again. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Mark gave her one last hug before helping her treat her bruises. (Y/n) pulled on a fresh hoodie and followed him downstairs.
At the sight of her, Jack and Ethan smiled and waved, which surprised the young Fischbach. Everyone there was so happy and excited to see her and slowly but surely the voices began to get quieter and quieter until all that remained was the laughter and comfort that came from her father and their friends.
The movie night was fun. You and Jack argued together against the others about accepting pineapple as a pizza topping. Bob and Wade recalled stories about their college days and stupid stuff that happened recently, which made everyone laugh. They all had a pillow fight while waiting for the pizza to arrive, Mark and Ethan started a mini food fight with popcorn, much to Chica and Henry’s delight, and the pizza was eaten while everyone watched an older movie called “Return to Me”.
(Y/n) felt sleepy as she stared at the tv. She sat next to her dad who had his arm around his girlfriend, Amy. The voices, telling her she didn’t belong there returned, but this time, she rejected them. She knew the truth, and the negative words spewed nothing but lies. She knew that they would never completely go away, and the actions of those that hurt her could never be taken back, but she felt content knowing that even if people disliked or hated her, her father at least would be there to help her drown out her demons.
As the movie neared its end, Mark felt a small pressure on his arm. Looking over, he smiled when he found his daughter fast asleep and resting against him. “Good night, (Y/n).. I love you so much.” He whispered, kissing her forehead gently and he could’ve sworn he saw a smile creep onto her face. Yeah.. everything would turn out alright.
------------------
If you are feeling suicidal there is help available to you.
Suicide Hotline Number: 988
Remember that you are appreciated and loved. Even if you don't think so, there will always be one person who cares about you, even if you don't know them. You are special and you have a purpose in life. Never give up on yourself, no matter what other people say
#Depressed Reader#Markiplier x daughter reader#Markiplier x depressed reader#Markiplier x reader#x reader#female reader#x teen reader#x female reader#Markiplier x female rader#markiplier egos#iplier egos#iplier x reader#depressed reader#x depressed reader#requested
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Tears of Themis Boys when you're on your Period
Here it is guys, my obligatory dating sim bitches when you're on your period. Idk these types of headcanons just make me smile
Artem
I'm sorry, there's blood coming out of your what?
My baby Artem may be a smart man, but he's very inexperienced when it comes to women.
I mean, it's cannon this man has never had a girlfriend, there's no way he knows anything about periods beyond what they taught him in high school or whatever equivalent he went to, idk
What he lacks in knowledge, though, he makes up in pure support.
Since he doesn't fully understand what's happening to you during your time of the month and the thought of you bleeding uncontrollably terrifies him, he's going to nonstop pamper you.
I'm talking he doesn't want you to lift a finger during your period, he will get you anything you want or need.
Pads/tampons/various other period products? Tell him what brand to get and he's in the car driving to the supermarket before you know it.
Hungry? He's already whipping you up a nice home-cooked meal. Or he's ordering you fast food, whichever you're craving.
You're in pain, he's getting you painkillers and your heating pad, already trying to call you in sick from work.
You have court today? Sucks for your client, you're staying home Artem, that's not how this works.
If you ever bleed on your sheets, Artem is too busy freaking out over the amount of blood that came out of you to ever be disgusted.
Once you finally calm him down, though, he'll just cuddle with you, rubbing your tummy in hopes of easing some of the pain for you.
Definitely keeps your preferred period products in his desk at work, and on his person when the two of you are out on a case together.
Luke
The two of you are king and queen of no boundaries.
You've known each other forever, and he was definitely there when you got your first period, so you really feel no shame in telling him that you're on your period.
Even though the two of you were separated for far too long, Luke still remembers a lot of your preferences when it comes to your cycle. You may need to update him on your preferred products, but after telling him, he won't forget.
Buys your period products without ever needing to ask him. One day, you're down to your last few tampons, the next you've got a full box without you ever having to leave the comfort of your own home.
And if you ever leak on the sheets, his first priority is to make sure you know he couldn't care less about replaceable, washable sheets. He reminds you that, even though you may be embarrassed, it's just him, and he'd never judge you for something like that.
Since he's experienced with your period, he's a lot less frightened and erratic than Artem is.
He's much more likely to calmly make sure you have what you need, then cuddles up to you like the human teddy bear/golden retriever that he is.
Tummy👏 kisses 👏
Can and will yell at your uterus for hurting you.
Even if you aren't dating, he's the first of the guys to even think about stocking the NXX headquarters with period products and pain meds.
Vyn
Knows a lot about your normal behaviors because you're his favorite person to observe.
So, when you start to act a bit strange, he's the first to realize.
He probably deduces that you're on your period without you even having to tell him. He doesn't say anything if this is how he finds out, though.
In these instances, he'll just quietly support you, trying to make you comfy without alerting you. If you haven't told him yet, there must be a reason, and he wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable.
If you tell him yourself, however, he'll be a bit more open about his efforts.
He's less overbearing than the others, letting you come to him when you need something, but will approach you if he can tell you're holding back.
Is the least likely of the boys to indulge in your cravings, trying to get you to realize that eating some fruit and drinking a nice cup of tea will be great for your menstrual health, eating two large fries is not.
Shoot him some puppy-dog eyes and maybe even a few tears and he's throwing that away. Be prepared for lots of vitamin pills when he caves in, though.
If you ever leak on the sheets, he'll somehow be awake before you even notice. You'll wake up with a tender kiss to your ear, gently informing you to get up so you can get cleaned.
Is quick to strip the bed of the sheets and place a towel on your side. Quickly cuddling back into you like nothing happened, making sure you feel zero shame about your accident.
Understands the importance of physical touch during emotional times like this, so he's much more of a cuddle-bug during your period than any other time.
Is constantly doing more research to better understand what you're going through and to better help you.
Marius
Will be a little shit about it, at least at first.
"You're bleeding? Lol, ew."
Shed a single tear, though, and he's panicking. He's not used to his teasing actually getting through to you, but in your heightened emotional state he'll have to be a bit more careful.
After that, when you're on your period, his teasing is down to a minimum.
He isn't very good at sincerity, usually just making jokes to show that he cares, so he will be a bit awkward at first.
Won't personally go out and buy your period products, but makes his assistant go instead.
Master, what sized tampon does MC require?
"One sec, lemme ask... BABE, WHAT SIZE PUSSY YOU WEAR?"
Is constantly trying to make you laugh during your period.
Gets whatever you're craving delivered so neither of you needs to get up from the comfort of your couch, and he can keep holding you, pressing kisses to your head.
If you bleed on the sheets, he's not waking up until he's got blood on himself too. Wakes up thinking he pissed himself, and is trying to figure out a way to clean himself up without being embarrassed.
Be prepared for Marius's assistant to drop off period products at your office when your period starts. You're now the go-to gal when anyone in the office needs a tampon/pad because Marius just keeps sending them to you.
Be prepared to be teased relentlessly when your period is over. Behaving well for a whole week is exhausting almost as exhausting as almost bleeding out through your uterus.
#tears of themis#tears of themis headcanons#artem wing#tears of themis artem#luke pearce#tot#tears of themis luke#tears of themis vyn#tears of themis marius#vyn richter#marius von hagen#tears of themis fic#tears of themis fanfic#fem!mc#tw periods#tw menstruation#tears of themis headcanon
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#39 or #48 for Geraskier? 🙏🏻
there are two obvious, very different ways to interpret this prompt. i chose both of them
48. I called you at 2am because I need you E, 1.9K words, modern AU & awkward misunderstandings
(Also on AO3!)
Before he fully returns to consciousness Geralt hears his cell phone ringing. The chimes creep into his dream first as birdsong, and then as he awakens he groans, hand fumbling around the nightstand for the device. He retrieves the phone and holds it up to his ear, his lovely dream dissipating into a warm feeling, and then nothing at all. “What,” he half-growls into the receiver.
“Sorry,” a low voice replies, breathing heavily. Geralt’s eyes shoot open— he can’t see anything in the pitch-black bedroom, but he squints into the darkness anyway. The exhalations on the other end of the line are nearly shaky, closer to panting than normal breathing. “Did I wake you up?”
He double-checks the contact; not because he doesn’t recognize the sound of Jaskier’s voice instantly, but because he doesn’t recognize the low, private tone. It’s nearly two in the morning. Jaskier breathes in again, this one hitching with a small, cut-off noise, and Geralt’s cock stirs in his briefs. “Yes,” he replies, uncertain.
Jaskier doesn’t apologize, and Geralt closes his eyes again, imagining the man splayed out over his ridiculously large bed, trailing his hands over his body as he babbles. “I know I shouldn’t call this late, but—”
Geralt huffs. “It’s fine—”
“I need you,” whines Jaskier, and that stops Geralt’s train of thought like a tidal wave. He opens and closes his mouth, waiting for Jaskier to take it back. Waiting for reality to slip back into a dimension that makes sense. Then the man gasps, still shaky and pitchy, and walks it back, “Sorry, I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t— you don’t—”
“No, I do,” he interrupts with a growl. He reaches under the blankets but doesn’t palm himself just yet, laying his hand flat over his stomach. The touch is grounding and the warmth of his dry palm is comforting even through his sleep shirt. Geralt rucks up the end of his shirt without thinking much about it, his hand exploring underneath. “I want to. I’m glad you called me, alright?”
Still hesitant, Jaskier pauses for a long second. “Alright.”
“What are you doing?” Geralt is fully awake now, fingers trailing up to toy with his nipples almost idly. His other hand clenches around the phone as his cock twitches, desperate for touch or friction or something. Fucking anything.
Jaskier’s next inhale is so soft that Geralt can practically visualize him, imagining the rise and fall of his chest. How does his friend sleep? Geralt has given lots of consideration to how Jaskier would act in bed, but very little to the man’s sleeping positions. Is he curled up on his side, cradling the phone by his ear as he takes his pleasure in quick, angry, shameful movements? Or is he spread out on his back, boxers kicked somewhere off the bed, hand trailing over his thighs or his hairy chest? Is he mirroring Geralt right now? Or, perhaps he’s on his stomach, ass in the air as he ruts down against the soft mattress. Geralt bites back a breath.
“Just lying in bed,” Jaskier says. He sniffles before inhaling sharply again, and suddenly imagination isn’t enough and Geralt is absolutely desperate to know what he’s doing. What he looks like. No video could suffice.
He hears himself say, “You’re welcome to come here if you like.”
“Oh, how I’ve waited for you to say those very words,” laughs Jaskier, although it’s too pitchy and distracted to sound very amused. His breath hitches again. He must be getting himself off— and he needs Geralt, of all people! Geralt could sing. He thinks that if Jaskier asked him to, he would. “I’m afraid I’m in no state to leave the house right now.”
That confession summons a whole host of other ideas into Geralt’s mind. He rolls the bud of his nipple between his fingertips, hardly breathing as he imagines Jaskier clad in only his underwear, furiously stroking himself off. He’s got a nice thick cock to match the rest of his perfect body: Geralt has never even seen it aroused and he knows that. Jaskier must be working his length right now, palm bouncing up and down so quickly it’s in danger of chafing.
“Then I could come to you,” says Geralt, low and too honest for his own good.
“You don’t have to do that, darling,” Jaskier says quickly. “Maybe just… talk to me for a while? It helps. It’s nice.”
“Yeah,” Geralt groans. His hand slides back down to lay on his abdomen, but his pulse doesn’t stop beating at a stallion’s pace. “Yes. Of course. What are you… you’re lying in bed?” Jaskier hums in agreement. Geralt reaches down to squeeze a handful of his cock, stroking it through his briefs. Suddenly, he desperately wants to have a better, real picture of Jaskier in mind. “What are you wearing?”
When Jaskier sniffles again, the sound sets off the first warning bell. Geralt frowns, trying to figure out what he’s missing here as Jaskier stays ominously silent. Finally, sounding incredulous, Jaskier demands, “I’m sorry, what?!”
“You— isn’t— aren’t—” stammers Geralt, helpless.
“Is that your idea of cheering me up? After the years of flirting, now is when you finally decide to act on your feelings? When I’m—” Jaskier sniffles again. Geralt smacks himself very hard in the forehead. “I called you because I needed to talk to someone, because I’m having a fucking meltdown!”
Geralt is silent as he stares at the ceiling of his room, wishing the earth would swallow him.
“What did you…” Jaskier drifts off, thoughtful. The scratching sound of fabric moving comes over the line— presumably, he’s sitting up. Now that Geralt knows to listen for it he can hear the teariness in Jaskier’s voice, and it makes him feel absolutely rotten. “Geralt?”
He offers no response. What could he possibly say?
“I’m sorry.” It’s just absurd that Jaskier is the one apologizing but Geralt is still too embarrassed to speak at all. The man sounds absolutely astonished when he murmurs, “… You were totally up for it, weren’t you?”
Geralt hangs up with a ferocity that nearly bruises his thumb. Left alone in the solace of his empty room, he squints at the phone screen flaring into his vision. This tentative thing between him and Jaskier has been— well, it hasn’t been a thing so much as a fledgling idea and a constant source of teasing and a recurring motif in his fantasies.
But now, even though there wasn’t anything real for him to ruin, Geralt has shattered whatever lies between them. Jaskier called him in tears, probably at his wit’s end after a terrible night. He’d told Geralt he needed him, and Geralt had been a fucking prick. He should have assumed that it would be a vent call and not a booty call, because Jaskier would never call him just to get off; that isn’t how they do things. It never will be.
Right after his screen goes dim the phone lights up, ringing loudly. ‘Incoming call from Jaskier 🎻.’
Geralt stares at the contact image of Jaskier, a candid shot from two Halloweens ago where he’s flipping off the camera and smiling brightly. He waits for the call to go to voicemail, morose and mortified.
Jaskier doesn’t leave him a voicemail, and Geralt mumbles, “Fuck.” He slams the phone down onto the pillow beside him, rubbing his eyes and groaning low in his throat. If this changes his friendship with Jaskier, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to ever forgive himself.
The pillow buzzes. Geralt, miserable, reaches for his phone.
MESSAGES — NOW
Jaskier 🎻 how about take two
Jaskier 🎻 ask what I’m doing
Even though he’s still drowning under the weight of his shame, Geralt figures he at least owes Jaskier a response. Reluctantly, he taps out ‘What are you doing.’
Jaskier 🎻 🍆💦😏
Geralt frowns. ‘Cooking?’
This time when his phone rings, he answers it. Before he can get a word out, let alone an apology, Jaskier huffs against the receiver. “Honestly, I have no idea how you pull as many people as you do, Geralt. Cooking? Really? What do you think I’m doing right now, washing my produce?”
“I don’t know,” Geralt says, stubborn and still embarrassed. “Maybe it helps you calm down.”
“You know what would help calm me down,” says Jaskier, “is an orgasm.” Geralt nearly drops the phone onto his face. “Is that something you could help me out with? You were so eager before…”
“Uh.” The hand that isn’t holding his phone is clenched at his side. Geralt runs his thumb over his fist, trying to calm himself down and make some sense of the situation. Is Jaskier making fun of him? “I didn’t know you were upset…”
“That’s alright, love. This is nicer anyway; a lovely surprise.” Yet again Jaskier’s breath hitches, but this time his voice is crystal clear, no tears to be heard. Geralt stands at attention, all his blood rushing south. “Why don’t you ask me what I’m wearing again?”
Trying his hardest not to make the words come out stilted, Geralt repeats, “What are you wearing, Jaskier?”
“Your shirt,” comes the instant reply. “You left it here three weeks ago.” And so he had— he had considered it a write-off when Jaskier hadn’t immediately brought it to their next meeting. The shirt must be much too wide for Jaskier, collar dipping down over his chest. Geralt wonders if it’s long enough to cover his hips. “I always wear it when I go to bed now.”
Geralt inhales sharply, sliding his hand down into his briefs. All the embarrassment of their misunderstanding has done very little to dissuade his erection— or maybe Jaskier just has this effect on him. “Why?”
“Like it,” says the man. Geralt can picture his little noncommittal shrug at that, his small lips puckering downwards in a pout. He strokes himself at the thought, and then his cock pulses in his palm when Jaskier continues, “I like that it smells like you. Except it’s started smelling like me now, on account of how much I get off while wearing it.”
“Fucking hell,” Geralt wheezes. “You can’t just say things like that, and— and not—”
“I’m sorry,” whispers Jaskier, even though he doesn’t sound the least bit contrite. “You make me crazy, you know that?”
Geralt growls, low in his throat, and speeds up the movement of his hand. He doubts he’ll last very long at all, not with Jaskier saying all these brutally honest things in this intimate tone of voice. “I wish you were here,” he admits, closing his eyes against the enormity of the confession.
“I’m right here,” pants Jaskier. “Tell me what you want.”
“You.” The word escapes him as a groan, and he hears Jaskier reply in kind, the man’s breathing getting heavier with every exhale. “I need you. Want you inside me.”
The line goes silent for so long that Geralt eases up, slowing down until he’s just holding himself. And then all in one breath, Jaskier blurts out, “I know I said I was in no state to leave the house, but I’ve revised that and now think it’s very, very crucial that I come over for a late-night visit. As in, right this second!”
Suddenly flushing, Geralt releases his cock. His fingers creep back to press behind his balls, teasing at his entrance. “Whatever helps you feel better,” he tells his friend. “… Wear the shirt.”
#hope you enjoy this silly fill-- sorry about the delay!! <3#geraskier fic#geraskier#my writing#ask meme
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Punishment part-2
warnings; - dom harry, wax play, electro-shock play, dirty talk, ropes, toys, bad words, edging, bondage, whipping. 18+ .........9 years age gap (Yana is 9 years younger) send me requests and concepts please hope you enjoy 😊.
Harry’s pov;-
Yana and I had our dinner and right now we are watching an episode of friends. I’m letting her rest a bit so she can take so much more. She is in my lap, half, she is on my side, head on my chest hand wrapped around my waist, and legs upon mine. She does this when she is tired or when she knows I’m tired or mat at her.
''Harry'' she said' 'hmm'' I mumberld
‘’Are you mad or upset with me?'' She asked picking her head from my chest to look at me. the sadness in her voice
‘’A little yeh’, but more like disappointed’’I said without looking at her. I can see from the corner of my eyes she was holding back tears. Yana is a very sensitive person, she devotes herself to me, she believes in me so much even I don’t believe in myself that much. I don’t think someone has ever loved me as much as she loves me. She’ll be all upset when I’m upset or even when she is sad and I’m happy she’ll be all happy. In this generation where I thought I’ll never really find anyone yana came into my life and filled me with love, so much love. She is always, always there for me. There is no single movement where I needed a shoulder to cry or celebrate something or needed a solution to some situation and yana wasn’t there. She is an old soul just like me, only wants to love nothing else in return. I hope she knows I love her more than anything in this world and I heartily appreciate everything she does for me.
She knows I like control in bed and she trusts me with her soul with that.
‘’I’m really sorry harry’’she said with a trembling voice.
‘’It’s fine’’I was a little disappointed but it’s not like it was so much of a deal. We both know I was just enjoying and I know she was sorry as soon as I asked about breaking my rule. I could see it in her eyes, they were teary but she didn’t cry.
‘’ I know it’s not fine. and that you’re unhappy too. I should have waited for you’’she was looking at me
‘’You’re taking the punishment for it, aren’t you? So it’s ok.’’I said truthfully
‘’I know I’m. But- I- I- Am just sorry’’she dropped her head a little. she never makes eye contact with me especially when I’m angry she gets scared it’s not that I scare her trust me it’s just she finds it hard.
‘’It’s ok love.’’I look at her I know if I don’t take her in my arms now she’ll start crying so I took her I’m my arms and kissed her all over her face.
‘’I love you harry’’she hugged me.
‘’ I love you more my love and I’m not upset with ya’. Alright? Don’t feel bad about it. Think about how you took your punishment. My strong girl. I’m so proud of ya’’I said and hugged her tight. We sat like that for another 10 minutes
10 min later;-
‘’ I’m ready’’she said suddenly
‘’Um- what’’I asked confusingly
‘’ I- um ready for whatever you have in mind’’her voice slow like perfect submissive, but I don’t want her to feel like submissive I just want control I don’t like when she looks down or speaks slowly. I want my girl to enjoy instead of taking what I am giving
‘’ Bub why are you talking to me in a slow voice and why is your head down instead of up, you’re very confident, than the way this?I asked rubbing her back for her comfort.
‘’ It’s just i.. I feel guilty. Like I’ve been caught, which I have but I’m like…guilty.’’She said looking up at me then immediately she looked down in her lap. I swear I saw her teary eyes and it breaks my heart.
‘’No need to feel bad love. And no need to cry too. You said you’re ready yeh’?She nodded
‘’then go to the red room and wait for me’’I said giving her a big smileShe didn’t smile back‘’bub if you’re gonna be like that then we are not doing anything,’’I added
‘’ No no no I’m-… I wanna go and see what have in store for me, let’s see what Mr. styles have got’’ she smiled and winked
‘Ahh- really huh call me Mr.styles one more time I dare you baby girl’’I grabbed her taking both of her wrists in one hand and tickling her
‘’ ahhh harry no, stop..stop’'
‘’Nah- uh uh I’m not stopping and I was thinking too that what should I add to your punishment’’I started ticking her harder
‘’ Ohh sorry I’m gonna pee harry stop. fuck’’she laughed
‘’ Whoah shameless child, you’ve got dirty mouth love’’I gasped dramatically
‘’ You’re acting like a child and you’ve got a filthier mouth, baby boy. And please stop I’m really gonna pee’’she pleaded to laugh
‘’We are not even started and you are begging to stop what a shame’’I teased she narrowed her eyes and laughed. There she is back to herself finally laughing I love her like this.
‘’We’ll see about that’’she winked knowing she’ll lose as always
‘’ Challenging me, my love?’’I raised my eyebrow. She nodded
‘’we’ll see when you’re begging me to stop and when you beg I’ll do it more so next time when you challenge me you’ll think ’’she stared at me. She clenched her thighs‘’ already wet love?’’ I asked
‘’No’’ she said quickly
‘’Don’t lie bub I saw you clenching your thighs’’
I stared at her she shook her head‘’so if I undress you right now you won’t be wet? I questioned She shook her head again
‘’Ohh if I undress you And I don’t see you wet you’re forgiven but if I checked and you’re wet you’re in for a terrible one. (Punishment) so again are you wet angel?’’
‘’Yes, daddy’’she said I smiled
‘’Does my filthy mouth gets you wet? Without me even touching you? How pathetic.’’I stated
‘’Yes, pathetic for you daddy no one else’’ she said shyly
‘’Yeah that’s my girl, you look so good when you smile Now, let's see how you look when you cry.’’ ‘’now go wait for me in the red room. Strip and do whatever I’ll be right there in 5 mins max’’ i said she nodded and went upstairs.
---------------------------
As I entered the room I was shocked she was wearing a sexy linger and was on her knees, Hands-on her lap and face down but not too much jus straight but down type god I love this girl so much. I smiled at her she was being good for me.
‘’Bub look at me’’I said she looked at me not sad or like submissive just yana my yana. The excitement in her eyes‘’ you look lovely in that bub and on you’re knees too’I winked at her with a smile.
‘’Wore just for you sir’’she smiled
‘’ Yea?’’She nodded
‘’Now pup get up and get there on the X’’I gestured (X means X shaped pillars, the one like 50 shades of freed had I the movie ig but this were thinner than that)
‘’Okay sir’’she said and went there I went to get some ropes. I know I can easily chain her and I don’t need ropes but I want her to remember this so I’m not gonna go easy. I lit some candles at the time and put them aside I took ropes and went to her
‘’Strip’’I said she obeyed.
''I want you to feel the rope burn your skin as it tightens around your fragile body. Let me hear your little whimpers, as you squirm needily. Beg me to fuck you, tell how much you want, no, NEED me.’'
Yana was so sensitive to my touch that, even if I touch her neck or kiss it she’ll be dripping. I tied her up with ropes hands on top of X and legs open too. Everything is tied and fully exposed for me to use however I want. And she can’t even move more than 2 inches.
''Such a dumb slutty rope bunny, turned on over just a few ropes binding you. Don't get me started on that preciously weak facial expression of yours. So cute and stupid, you just want to be used as a toy. Be good’’I ordered.I went behind her She was all naked for me. I ran my hands through her sides to her arms to her neck again to her sides to her thighs she was whining but couldn’t move too much.
‘’You like being tied up bunny? you like when daddy takes control over your body. Do you Like when you are all helpless to daddy? Like being used huh?’’I asked not expecting an answer I know my words get her wet so I ran my hand over her slit
‘’you’re dripping angle. I’ve not even touched you yet and look at you..dripping for me’’she moaned loudly I started kissing her neck. I held her throat with one finger making her look up and the other just resting around her neck. I started kissing her hard leaving hickeys all over the neck. And started rubbing her cilt slowly too She moaned
‘’feels so good sir’’
'’Yeah? There might be so much in your stomach because I didn’t let you cum right?’’I asked voice dominating
‘’Yes sir there is a lot in there’’she said weakly as I drawing a fast circle on her clit and pushed her lower stomach in
‘’ So small touch of mine and you’ll cum?''I asked
‘’Yes sir I’ll make a good mess for you please let me cum I’m so close please please let me’’she pleaded
‘’You’re gonna cum baby girl? Go ahead come’’I fasten my speed
‘’ Oh god yes yes I’m cumming sir’’she said and I pulled my hands off of her clit leaving her unsatisfied. she was a whimpering mess.
"The more you squirm, the more I will ruin your orgasm,”I threatened I held her breasts in my hand both of them they re exactly my hand size. I massaged them a little and went to stand in front of her. Her head was reacting on her shoulder. I attached my mouth to her left nipple sucking it and massaging it with my mouth. She moaned and tried to close her leg. Poor puppy. I smirk on her boob kissed all of her chest parts and backed off. Looking at her she is so helpless. I took oil in my hands and massaged her boob, her chest, her hands, her neck, her stomach, her legs, and her pussy in short whole body. She was shining from all the oil
‘’ pup don’t squirm much it will get you in trouble’’I warned she nodded and stayed still.
‘’Now, you’ll do as I say right?’She nodded
‘’ I’m gonna untied you one hand and you’ll do as I say’’I untied her right hand
‘’Draw slow circles to you clit baby and don’t stop, if you stop without me telling you. I’ll give you 3 ruined orgasms do you understand? You stop 1 time to feel relief and I give you 3 bad ruined orgasm. Whatever you want’’I said.
‘’ I understand sir’’she said I nodded. I came up with you wax candles in my hand she was shocked ‘’rub you clit bubs’’ I ordered. She started rubbing her over-sensitive clit. I dropped wax on her chest and held it there just moving slightly to cover up her boobs with wax. She hissed at burning
‘’Does it burn pretty girl?’’I asked dropping it on her nipple
‘’Yes sir too much’’she hissed hand still rubbing clit my both candles were nearly over
‘’good. Move your hands' fast dove’’I said looking at her hand. She did it faster
‘’Sir I’m close please please sir please let me cum’’she begged I smiled
‘’Go faster baby and stop pleading it’s not getting you anywhere, go faster’’ I ordered
‘’Ahhh ah-uh sir…’’she cried
‘’I said more faster can’t you listen to me’’I said voice up. She was going faster and faster I know when she is right on her edge and that she was planning on cumming too.
"It feels so good, though, doesn't it?" I smirk as she nodded she was right on the edge...‘’Stop’’ I said and she didn’t, she wanted to cum ‘’ I SAID STOP SLUT’’ I took her hand and tied it again. ‘’SLUT’’ I said shaking my head.
I took all of the candles wax and threw it all over her body except her cunt.
‘’Ahhhhhhhh sir burns’’she screamed I chuckled
‘’Yes baby scream this is just starting so think how much you’re gonna scream’’I smiled and she looked at me with pleading eyes. I took some more candles and again covered every single part of her body. She whined but couldn’t do anything except taking it. I smiled at her helplessness. Then I took one which was in glass (candle) and lit it up and let it be for some seconds till it’s was is melted a bit. I looked at her and grin her face drooped haha! I brought a candle near her wide open pussy she hissed at the feeling. I moved it around a bit and stooped on her clit a little further didn’t wanna actually burn her.
‘’There was so much ice in your underwear an hour ago right? She nodded ‘’so here’s a candle heat it up baby’’I smiled and drag the candle closer to her clit
‘’Shit sir burns please can’t whole body is on fire from wax sir please’’she pleaded I chuckled and threw all melted part on her pussy
‘’Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck shit it’s too much sir it burns uhhh’’she tugged to her restrains to feels some relief but bad luck?
‘’I know baby girl I know’’I kissed her teary cheeks I again took one candle and lit it and threw all the was on her body parts as well as her ass
‘’Sirrrrrr’’she cried
‘’Don’t scream I’m right here not in another room plus I don't think I'll be done with you anytime soon so don’t show me your puppy eyes’’I said
‘’Sir it burns so much it’ll leave marks sir please’’she pouted
‘’I rubbed oil before it won’t leave a mark but it sure will burn like hell when I do next thing which I’m gonna do after not right now. Right now I’m gonna clan your body, but not with my hands of course,’’her eyes widened and I grin at her ‘
’I’ll use some toys for that’’I went to get our thick 20-inch leather flogger I smiled at it.
‘’ I want no voices coming from you do you understand?’’I asked
‘’Yes sir’’she obeyed I took it into my hand and looked at her and hit it on her body with a smile. She screamed without voice. My poor baby. I did it again and again and again till there was almost no wax on her body her body was all red. No marks on her body just red
‘’Sir please’’she pleaded with teary eyes
''"excuse me? didn't tell you can speak. I’ve to gag you now. wait'’ i said and came with a gag and gagged her with a silicone ball gag ‘
’ now you look perfect. SLUT’’I chuckled
‘’There is still some wax on your body I think I’ve to clean’’I smiled and took a step back and hit her with flogger all over her body. She was screaming in gad which made me chuckle
‘’Sul plluz’’she pleaded again something she is doing all night. I was finished with flogging so I thought I’d take off her gag and I did
‘’Good girl’’I praised
‘’ standstill I’m gonna blindfold you. Hard time starts now’’I repeated the thing I said when I showed ice in her underwear
‘’But- sir’’I cut her off
‘’ No buts just shut and take it. You can scream or whatever all you want but don’t talk to me’’I wared
‘’Ok sir’’
I put a blindfold on her I went to the kitchen and took the thing I planed when I last came here. She’ll give-up I guess. I took wet napkins and ducked them into lemon water and put all of them around her body (not pussy) She screamed on top of her lunges
‘’fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck noooooooooo shit I can’t godddd please please I can’t’’
‘’There is my pathetic whore’’I rubbed the wet napkins I put around her body
‘’Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god god god god pleaseeeee’’she whimpered For pussy I took' The faux leather spanking paddle’ and sat down on a stool in front of her
‘’didn’t wanna burn your pussy tho so……’’ Ismiled when she shook her head I was gaining to hir heer pussy but it was a bit uncomfortable.I untied her ‘’ go get on bed’’ I ordered the obeyed ''spread your hands and legs wide open’’ I said I tied her ankles to upper Sid of the bedpost (headboard) and hands to her ankles I even tied her thighs so she remains fully open I again took leather spanking paddle
‘’you’re gonna count with me 10 but if one is wrong or you miss count we’ll start again’’I said and didn’t give her a chance to say anything, and hit the paddle to her wide open pussy
‘’Fuck ahhhh hurts 1 one sir’’she screamed a little Again it hit
‘’two’’ ‘’three’’ ‘’four’’ ‘’five’’ ‘’six’’ ‘’seven’’
''Does it hurt puppy’’I asked as I was tapping on her clit
‘’ Yes sir it’s too much hurts’’
‘’Good as it should’’
I again hit with full force her pussy was so red
‘’Ahhhhhhhhh eight’’,
‘’nine’’ ‘’ten’’
‘’How are ya feeling baby, are you okay?’’I asked her she was still in a recovery zone
‘’Yes sir I’m okay’’she gave me a small smile
‘’Think you can take more?’’I asked coming hands on her body
‘’Not right now but after 15-20 mins yeas I guess’’ she said
‘’ That’s ok pup do you need something? Wanna drink water? Or eat something?''I asked wiping her tears
‘’Need some water my throat is dry’’she said and laughed a little
‘’ I bet it is. god, you scream so loud’’I dramatically put my finger in my ear and shook it.
‘’Haha not funny, shouldn’t have gone that hard the I wouldn’t have screamed’’she laughed
‘’I'm no mediocre baby’’ I smiled and kissed her
‘’now ya rest in that position cause I’m not gonna untie you. I’ve still got 1 chapter left’’
‘’Uhhhhh harry’’she good I slapped her ass hard
‘’owww’'
‘’It’s daddy to you’’I glared
‘’Oooo Mr. styles got angry’’
she teased I slapped her again on her ass and then her already beaten pussy ‘ahhhhhh fuck’’
‘’Behave and shut up I’ll give you water drink and rest for 10 mins’’I said and gave her boatel with straw in it. After 15mins;-
‘’Arey ya ok bubs still tired?’’I asked her she shook her head
‘’Nah just burns a little’’she said I nodded
‘’Ok so this is the last one and uh- we’ve never tried this one but I saw it’s safe and I’m gonna do to you it’s electroshock’’I said
‘’What I- uh- i.. dunno’’she said
‘’Oh I know everything and I know you too so don’t worry enjoy’’
I kissed her forehead she nodded
I took 4 clips and joined them with wires. I went to her and put 2 clips on her each nipple and the 2 on her pussy lips
‘’I’m gonna start the power clench your fist if it’s too much don’t scream’’ I told her
‘’I’ll try my best sir’she added I started the machine she jolts from the first shock but I didn’t stop and continued on medium setting I took the vibrator with we used before
‘’Meet your friend from earlier bunny’’I smiled when she shook her head
‘’No more edeging please’’she said
''My favorite pass time is listening to your sweet moans, and watching you squirm as I hold your favorite vibrator against your cute pussy. And I’m free till this shock shocks you up.’’I laughed and changed the setting to a little bit up of electro
‘’I’ll hold this vibrator to your clit. I'll use you. But you won't get to cum do you understand?’’I raised eyebrow
‘’Yes sir, I do’’I changed electro to highest and she screamed
‘’ Don’t scream hold it in’’I shouted over her screams
‘’Sir I can’t shit’’she can feel shock all over her body I took one clip go her pussy lip and clipped it to her clit and started again. Having shock direct on her clit she jolted
‘’’Ahhhhhhhhhhh siirrrrr mmhhhhh’’she screams but then held them in I started the vibrator on mid-speed and hold it against her clit. After 1 min max
‘’P-please sir, I can’t take it anymore. Stop it, I wanna c—‘’I smirked and increases the speed she moaned
"you fucking whore, you need to learn to control yourself.”I glared at her and put vibe on the highest"another word and you won't be begging to cum, you'll be begging me to stop."
‘’ Sir please I wanna cum please, I’ve held a lot please’’she cried
‘’ok baby girl let go’’ I rubbed her pussy with a vibrator as well.
‘’Really’’she asked I nodded with a smile ‘’thank you so much goddddd’’ I didn’t say anything
‘’I’m cumming’’and she came.
''You came? But don't expect me to stop. I'll vibe you till your cheeks get covered with tears, lips bleed and swell, wrists get red from being tied up, eyes roll back in your head and breathing gets uncontrollable. I want you wrecked from top to the bottom’’I said and started moving the vibrator fast on her clit. After some seconds
‘’Sir I’m cumming please let me’’she asked
‘’Who stopped you cum and then cum again cum cum cum cum keep cumming.’’ I said
‘’ I can’t take anymore’’
‘’ Of course, you can you don’t have a choice’ I laughed
‘’Sir--‘’ Iput my hand on her mouth and stopped her begs then she came again and again and again and again and again and again and again idk at least around 7-8 times,
I switched off everything
I started to untie her
‘’love are you ok?’’I asked and kissed her writs
‘’Yeah i’s sir’’she teased
‘’Hey I’m Harry or baby or baby boy to you’’I said kissing her lips
‘’Yeh baby boy I’m good just can’t feel anything that’s all’’she replied
‘’Are ya hurt somewhere? Did I hurt you or went too hard’’I got worried because she did cum many times
‘’Nah, it’s fine I’m good you just have to take me everywhere that’s all’’she laughed
‘’Fucked the shit out of ya didn’t I?’’I smirk
‘’Yeah yeah’'
‘’Hey don’t talk to me like that do wanna do that all again?’’I raised an eyebrow
‘’Nahh nahh god no’’she said and I smiled.
‘’Good hope you learned your lesson, ok now I’m gonna run a bath and put some candles just thy way you like''said she nodded very tiredly
‘’Ok H’’I got off of the bed and filled the bathtub lit candles.
‘’Let’s go bub I’ll pick you up common now get up’’I said touching her shoulder so she could give me some space to carry her
‘’Hmmshe replied I took her to bath and set her down climbing back of her I took her In my lap in the bathtub and bathed her and relaxed. I brought her back to the bedroom with a towel around her and got her a fresh pair of my t-shirt and her panties and dressed her.
‘’Come love let's cuddle and sleep’ she came to me and wrapped her arms around my waist and I took her head and placed it on my chest. She was all over me.
‘’You took all of that so bravely love gonna be honest didn’t think you’ll be able to take that much I’m so proud of ya’’she didn’t speak but kissed my chest.
‘’What did we learn today pretty girl?’’I asked
‘’Not to touch daddy’s pussy without his permission’’she said voice low I smiled
‘’Good bub. I love you so so much I’m sorry if it was too much’’I rubbed her back
‘’Nahh, I’m good. I love you more and you know it’’she said. And I know she’ll love me more than anything.
‘’Good night love’’she didn’t reply was asleep when I look. My baby.
thanks for reading. sorry for mistakes 😅 please reblog if you liked😊
#harry styles smut#daddy! harry#harry smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles fan account#ceo!harry#daddy harry#daddy styles#harry styles x reader#yana#harry styles#harrystyles#harry styles angst#harry styles fanfiction#love#ceo harry#harry styles one shot#harry styles one direction#one direction#harry styles dirty fanfiction#harry styles dirty imagine#harry styles dirty one shot#daddy!harry#dirty talk#ddllg
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Come see me
Pairing: Alpha! Tetsuro Kuroo X Omega! Reader
Genre: Minor Angst, but other than that, fluffy cuddle piles.
Request: Hi kinda nervous to request this since I'm very shy but..Is it okay to request a scenario where omega reader is feeling very insecure and jealous after idk like some new person comes in the pack and everyone is paying attention to them and reader feels very neglected but keeps quiet, starts spending more time with their friends and avoids the pack and their alpha. And then the pack plus alpha notices and drags reader back, and reassures them, and the entire pack cuddles and hug reader. Kinda like angst to fluff. Could be any team and any alpha. Though I prefer kuroo and nekoma. Sorry if it's too long I've always wanted an imagine like this. You don't have to do it if you don't wanna tho! I was just asking :)Have a good day💜
Summary: Being a manager for Nekoma was a thankless job, but one you were proud to do. You were surrounded by alphas who wanted what was best for you and in turn, you wanted what was best for them. However, sometimes what’s best for them...may not be best for you or your omega.
Warnings: Jealous omega! reader, reader almost goes into an omega depression, small angst,
Author’s Note: No need to be shy, darling! This is my first request for this blog so I’m super excited to write this and to fulfill my first request.!
Requests: Open!
Tetsuro Kuroo
➵ Originally, the idea of another manager for the Nekoma team excited you.
➵ You were really pumped to have an extra set of hands on board to help keep scores, or pick up balls, or put up and take down nets.
➵ To have someone else to joke and laugh with on the sidelines while Yaku was yelling at Lev, or to assist you in prying Kenma’s switch from his hands so he can eat.
➵ Having another manager seemed like such a good idea. A new friend for the pack.
➵ Until it wasn’t.
➵ Ichika was a kind and sweet girl in class 2-B (You were in 2-D), and originally you and her got along well.
➵ Your omega didn’t outright hate her, more of an indifference, and your personalities melded well together.
➵ And from what you’ve heard from her friends, she talked about the boys on the volleyball team a lot.
➵ So you figured she would be a good fit.
➵ However, you weren’t certain on it anymore.
➵ Maybe she was too good of a fit.
➵ ‘You’re being silly’ You told yourself.
➵ ‘She’s getting to know the team, that’s all’ You practically chanted in your head like a mantra.
➵ ‘She’s honing in on our pack. Our alpha.’ Your omega sneered, padding in a circle before flopping down, growling lowly. You tried reminding her that Kuroo was nothing more than a captain.
➵ An attractive captain who who you found yourself finding every opportunity in the book to talk too. But that was fine print.
➵ He was not your alpha. He was the commanding alpha of the volleyball team, but not yours.
➵ And maybe that was what hurt most. Knowing you had Zero claim on anyone in the pack, therefore you had no right to demand the attention.
➵ They gave their attention to who they wanted.
➵ Even if nowadays, it seemed to be Ichika more and more often then not.
➵ It hurt, when you both would be sitting on the sidelines and Inuoka would brush right past you to chat with Ichika.
➵ Or when you both would be passing out towels and water bottles and they only thanked her.
➵ It began hurting to the point you had to bite down whines or whimpers. Your omega was upset, therefore you were even more upset. But they seemed happy,
➵ Who were you to ruin that?
➵ Just because you saw them as pack, doesn’t mean they saw you in the same light.
➵ You tried pushing away that god awful thought, but it was planted and nothing was moving it.
➵ And whether you noticed it or not, you were acting on that thought.
➵ You didn’t stay after practice for anyone, instead cleaning up quickly and efficiently while the boys were in the change room.
➵ Leaving behind your notes for that day’s practice along with the gym keys right in front of the door.
➵ You didn’t wait for anyone and took a different way home so no-one would try to walk with you.
➵ You needed to separate from them, even if it hurt. Even if you cried on the way home. Even if you stayed in your nest from the minute you got home to the minute you had to leave for school the next day.
➵ Even if your meals got smaller and smaller.
➵ You never sat with the team anymore, Ichika taking your spot like she belonged there.
➵ Instead you sat with a group of friends from your class. They never asked any questions, which you were thankful for.
➵ You began wearing scent blocking patches to hide your scent, hide the sour note that almost always accompanied it.
➵ You just...tried to disappear. You still fulfilled your manager duties as you always did, but never more.
➵ Never gave words of encouragement. No pointers on how to improve. No jokes on Lev’s behalf. No nothing.
➵ And holy shit, that Irked Kuroo.
➵ He was always so excited for practices at the end of the day because that was when he would get to show off in front of you.
➵ Prove he was a strong alpha.
➵ He would admit, he liked you...A lot. He was even working on a future courting gift (It was a bracelet with intricate beading that looked almost like a cuff) but was having a few difficulties so couldn’t gift it to you yet.
➵ However, you were pulling away.
➵ Away from him. Away from the pack. Just away.
➵ You barely even glanced their way anymore.
➵ During practice, you just sat there, completed homework, then took notes. He never saw you after that.
➵ He tried to pack up as fast as he possibly could at the end of practice but was always late. You were always, without fail, gone. No trace of you ever being there except the notes you left in your wake with the keys.
➵ His alpha kept barking at him to stop you. To come up with any excuse to keep you here long enough for him to walk you home in the very least. But you were always gone.
➵ He tried everything, but you seemed one step ahead of him.
➵ His alpha blamed Ichika. Ever since she showed up you began pulling away.
➵ Were you jealous? Were you angry with them for trying to keep her away?
➵ They only put up with her because it was obvious you didn’t like her. So they tried keeping her away.
➵ Was that backfiring on them?
➵ Kuroo didn’t even know why there was another manager. You were perfect for them. Like a puzzle piece. Their personal cheerleader.
➵ Maybe school was piling on you?
➵ No. You always went to him for help.
➵ Maybe the duties were too much?
➵ No because you were still doing them all.
➵ Come to think of it, what was Ichika even doing?
➵ She did nothing except fawn over them and purr over their skills, which was nice for the ego boost at first, but soon just got annoying when she tried scenting them.
➵ It seemed she was fixated on him especially, trying to rub her neck all over him only for him to push her off with a growl. He had only scented two people in his life.
➵ Kenma, because he needed the practice, and you, which was why he practiced.
➵ And he planned to keep it that way.
➵ But you were still staying away. So he scented no one.
➵ The final straw was a Friday practice.
➵ You were sitting a ways a way in the corner, doing your work with your jacket wrapped in front of you like a boundary.
➵ His heart hurt at the thought of you feeling the need to recluse yourself like this.
➵ He made a motion to Kenma, his co-commanding alpha, who nodded before making his way to you.
➵ As he should’ve predicted, Ichika intercepted him. She tried to hug him, but he dodged, side stepping and trying to get to you, but she persisted.
➵ “Why don’t you give me the same attention you give her, huh? Rumor has it she’s been bordering on dropping for days, nothing but attention seeking in my humble opinion.”
➵ He paused in his efforts, looking down to her once more.
➵ “I’m sorry?”
➵ Ichika rolled her eyes. “It’s been all over school. Surprised you haven’t heard. She skips lunch more often than not, nowadays. People have even started bets as to when she finally drops. Real shame though. Gonna miss having someone else do all the work.”
➵ You were missing lunches. Lunches were meals he could guarantee you ate, and you suddenly weren’t doing so anymore. He was failing you.
➵ You were dropping right under their noses and as your pack they were watching it happen.
➵ As your head alpha, and hopefully future alpha, he was watching you drift away and ultimately fade from him.
➵ He was watching this happen?!
➵ What part of this was okay?! None of it.
➵ He was loosing you. Hell, if he hadn’t lost you already.
➵ No. You were here, at school, He still had time. He still had a chance. He still had- his jacket and bento.
➵ Turning tail, the alpha made his way to his bag, digging out the bento (Come to think of it, he hadn’t been eating much since this whole debacle started anyway) and grabbing his jacket before making his way to you once more.
➵ He didn’t pay any mind to Ichika, this time fully shoving past her to get to you.
➵ You looked up to him skeptically, watching as the alpha, the head alpha, bent to lay on his knees, slowly putting the bento on his jacket and sliding it in front of you.
➵ Your heart and mind were going a mile a minute as you watched the commanding fucking alpha of the pack, bow to you. Ask for your permission to get close to you.
➵ What-
➵ “Hi?”
➵ Kuroo said nothing in return, only lowering his chin to the ground, looking up to you. Almost waiting for you to allow him closer.
➵ When you said nothing he motioned towards the bento with a nod of his head. He was almost like a pup with how minimal his actions were.
➵ When you slowly took the bento, he raised in time with the box, watching you open it. when you popped a small bit of rice into your mouth. He purred loudly, slowly inching closer. He laid his jacket over yours, adding another layer to your barrier, which you slowly moved to allow him in.
➵ He crawled into your space, slowly moving your books and bag to nuzzle into your neck. You allowed him to, eating more rice-- which seemed to appease him.
➵ One by one, more of the teammates came by, offering their jackets to your now makeshift nest, joining in on the cuddle pile.
➵ All but Ichika, who seemed to angrily stomp about while cleaning up the few stray volleyballs.
➵ But you didn’t really care about her at this point.
➵ Your omega was at peace, especially with the alpha you’ve been pinning after purring into your neck, scenting you and pressing small kisses to your neck.
➵ This was your pack. Your home.
➵ And they wouldn’t let you fall behind.
#a/b/o haikyuu#alpha/beta/omega AU#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#alpha/beta/omega verse#alpha/beta/omega#alpha kuroo#alpha kuroo tetsuro#alpha kuroo x omega reader#alpha kuroo tetsuro x omega reader#kuroo x reader#kuroo x y/n#kuroo tetsuro x reader#omega reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu#custard writes
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I just read what is and what should never be and it was PHENOMENAL! I love everything you write anyway so I was wondering if you could do a small one where Bucky is alone and depressed and he calls yn because he feels lost and she is just there for him? No worries if you can't! I love you anyway 💕
Omg!! You’re too sweet! I really wanted to do this one justice, but I suck at angst... I love you too!! and I’m sorry if this sucks!
Summary: after the events of Endgame, you and Bucky part ways. Even though you haven’t spoken in months, when he needs you, you’re there ANGST 2.2k
Warnings: overall angsty vibes. Sad Bucky. Idk depictions of depression I guess? shitty writing!
“You came” Bucky's surprised tone pulled you out of your thoughts.
Before saying anything else, you shook your head in disbelief. From certain points of view, he looked exactly the same as when you last saw him months ago, but if you looked past his rugged exterior, it was very easy to tell something was truly eating away at his heart.
“Of course I came” you frowned, “You called me”
“Thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore” Bucky mumbled.
You looked him up and down, thoroughly confused by his statement, but decided to keep the tone of the conversation from going too dark too fast. “Shut up, Barnes” you scoffed, “Don’t even joke about that.” A hint of a smile appeared at the corner of his lips, but it was forced, you could easily tell he wasn’t truly being himself. “What’s up?”
Bucky took a deep breath as if gathering the courage to word his thoughts. When his eyes met yours he flinched, the pain clouding his otherwise bright blue eyes. He started with a long sigh and a shake of his head but then, cringed as he finally spoke up. “I need help”
His confession went directly to the pit of your stomach. “What happened? Whatever it is, you got it, but what-”
“Nothing happened” Bucky stopped you, “I need help”
“I don’t understand”
“I need someone to-” he sighed, closing his eyes as his head fell forward in what could only be described as shame, “I need someone to talk to” and it was funny, considering he just walked out of his psychiatrist’s office. “Someone that’s not paid to listen to me” he added, “Someone who understands”
It was moments like these that you truly wished Steve was still here. Or Nat. Your best friends, yes, but they were the glue that held you all together, and now in their absence, you were all threatening to fall apart.
But of course you’d be there for Bucky. Whatever he needed you were more than eager to provide, but at the same time, you were fully aware that your capabilities were limited. You didn’t lack the understanding or the experience, but you lacked the words. You had the sympathy, but not the advice he needed. But you were there. Like you have always been and always will be, so, that afternoon you ended up on his living room floor.
Surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol that had no effect on either of you whatsoever, you sat and listened to him rant his heart out until his throat couldn’t take it anymore. And then he broke down - completely. A full on mess, tears staining his cheeks as the temperature dropped in the room with every other pained groan he’d release. But he let it all out and the weight he had been carrying on his shoulder was unimaginable. There were too many things eating away at his heart, but the guilt was what kept him under its spell, what kept him up for the last months, what was physically destroying him.
“Y/n... “ he called for you, face hidden in his hands as he spoke, “I know you’re gonna say no, but-”
“No,” you stopped him, “Then don’t ask me”
“Please”
“No, Bucky” you sighed, grabbing his wrist so you could look him in the eyes, “If you already know it’s a bad idea, please don’t tell me because I’m afraid I’ll actually go through with it right now”
“But i can’t fucking sleep!” he cried out loud, falling back against the couch, arms propped up on his knees, “I keep having the same nightmares over and over again, and I can’t take it anymore”
“You don’t-” you took a deep breath, “You don’t want me to erase your mind, do you?”
The look in his eyes proved that that was exactly what he wanted. And the unshed tears that coated the otherwise pure and radiant blue of his eyes was almost enough to convince you.
“Please-” he begged, “I-”
“No, Buck” you shook your head and shuffled to face him properly, “As time passes, it’s only gonna get worse. The past will eventually catch up to you. You’ll want to know what you did”
He didn’t have it in him to fight you, so silence settled for a while. “You know sedatives don’t work on me?”
“I… never thought about it, but that makes sense”
Bucky gathered his lips into a tight line and nodded his head.
“Lady shrink isn’t of any help?” you asked.
“I have no clue what she’s doing” he shrugged, “Maybe it’s good in the long run, but fuck if I know how she expects me to make any kind of progress right now”
“You are, tho” you reassured him, “Making progress I mean”
“Am I?” Bucky laughed incredulously.
“Yes! You’re almost completely on your own feet. You really pushed through”
“Or maybe I’m just ignoring all of my problems”
“You just told me about them” you chuckled, and threw an arm over his shoulders.
Hesitatingly at first, he eventually leaned in into your hold, allowing himself to completely fall against your chest. “I hate this”
“I think that’s a given” you laughed, curling your fingers around the roots of his way too short hair. “A wise man once said that whenever someone acts like they have their shit together, they’re either lying or delusional”
“Who said that?”
“I don’t know” you confessed, “I saw that on the internet”
For the first time that night, you actually heard him laugh, and it sounded so good - it was short and weak, but it was sweet and honest. “That’s a pathetic attempt at cheering me up, but I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it” Bucky said as he pushed himself up.
“I wish I could do more” you mumbled, “But I don’t know what, or how, but-”
“Thank you”
“You don’t have to thank me, you know that” you smiled.
He didn’t know that. He’d never stop thanking you for even the smallest gestures. The day where Bucky would understand that kindness, in some cases, is a given, was far away, but you had the patience and determination to work for it.
As you talked and talked, and the topic of conversation kept shifting from one area to the other, the sun set, night settling outside his small windows. It was time for you to leave, and you would’ve done it, had he asked you not to at the last second.
You had your shoes on and one hand on the door handle, when he stumbled over his words, obviously too shy to properly hold his ground. “Actually can you- can you-” he mumbled, pointing to his couch, “Can you stay here tonight?”
And of course you did. The night didn’t last much longer after that, with Bucky settling on the floor, only a blanket to keep him company, and you sprawled out on the couch as silence settled.
But your mind was too busy to drift off. You knew his’ was too, but decided to refrain from speaking up, hoping to let him fall asleep, even for a short while.
It was loud inside your head. You always promised yourself you’d never intrude on someone’s thoughts and read through them without their approval, but you physically felt Bucky radiate energy, and your mind just slipped. But then, your heart almost stopped.
You saw yourself. You saw yourself slapping him back in Wakanda when he decided to go under ice again, you saw yourself moving a car out of his way back in Bucharest, when you risked your life for his because you trusted Steve that much, and because you were that good of a friend. You saw yourself at Tony’s funeral, eyes shiny with tears and then felt an almost uncontrollable urge to hug yourself - and then realised it wasn’t your urge, it was Bucky’s. At this point, your heart beat so fast you were actually afraid he’d hear it. But when goosebumps appeared all over your skin, you realised he couldn’t hear you, that he was asleep and that the nightmares started materializing.
What convinced you to act on it was the sudden jerk of his body and the way to fully tensed instantly after. So, unable to just sit and watch, you rolled over to the side and allowed your hand to fall by his temple, little specks of light rolling off the tips of your fingers as you forced the thoughts away. Seconds later, you saw him relax and shift around, gathering the blanket he laid on to his chest as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
His relaxed form and the steady pace of his breathing put a smile on your face. But you made the mistake of thinking this was a one time thing, however, before you realised, you found yourself leaning over him again, ushering yet another wave of nightmares away. And it kept being an ongoing process until the sun rose, and you cursed yourself as you did not get one second of shut eye. But it was worth it. The sight of him finally resting, knowing he spent his night in his happy place that you this time did not intrude on, made up for your tiredness.
When Bucky drifted out of his deep sleep, you figured it was safe to relax too. But knowing that if you went to sleep right now you wouldn’t wake up until noon, you stood up, determined to give him the full best friend experience.
But all you found in his kitchen was a box of stale cereal, a soft cucumber and candy wrappers. Had he not looked so adorable sleeping shirtless and curled into a ball on the floor, you would have woken him up yelling. But instead, you decided to order some food, and the simple fact that the sound of the delivery guy ringing the doorbell didn’t wake him up, actually terrified you. With a life like yours, no one sleeps that deeply, but then there he was, snoring away the late hours of the morning.
By the time he finally stirred awake, the food was already cold, and you were bored out of your mind. “What- what time is it?” he mumbled, voice rich with sleep.
“A little bit past 2” you yawned from your spot on the couch.
“2 pm?” Bucky huffed, sitting up in a hurry and rushing to grab his phone. “What the-” he turned to you confused, “It’s 2pm…”
“Yeah” you sighed, “And the food is cold”
“Food?” Bucky gawked, looking over at the small table by the window, “You got food?”
“You didn’t have any” you defended yourself. You wanted to scold him for not taking better care of himself, but he looked so homey and cozy and vulnerable, that you couldn’t bring yourself to.
Eventually, you stood up and walked over to him. “I’ll let you eat, Buck, but I gotta go” you sighed, giving him a hug, “Got some stuff to do” you lied, by stuff meaning sleep, since you were exhausted.
“Yeah, of course” he mumbled in agreement, wrapping his arms around your frame, and bringing you closer. He sank his head into the crook of your neck, holding you to his chest for a moment longer than you would have considered friendly. But you didn’t complain, his hold was stern and loving, and you really needed that right now. “Thank you” Bucky added when he finally let you go. His right palm cupped your cheek as he looked down at you, awe and admiration in his eyes.
“Nothing to thank me for, Buck” you smiled, and then pulled away.
He silently watched you get ready to leave, following you around until you reached the door and turned around to say goodbye. And it was weird. Your heart boomed against your ribcage, and you didn’t have to read his thoughts to know he was feeling the same kind of nervous. And it may have been the one too many stories you read but you actually feared something was going to happen. Thankfully, it didn’t. Instead you shared another hug, and parted ways.
However, all you managed to do was reach the staircase before you heard his door open, followed by the sound of his bare feet sprinting down the hallway. “What are you-”
“Can you stay?” he asked, shaking from head to toe, “In New York I mean, can you please stay? Just a few more days”
“Well, I- yeah, I guess I can” you mumbled.
“I just, I need a few more days. You’re screwing my head back on, I just need you now. Steve is gone, and Sam is all the way in Louisiana and I hate phones and I-”
“Wow-” you laughed, “I’m not even the second choice, I’m the third?”
“Shut up, Y/n” Bucky frowned, “Stop being a smartass for a second”
“I’m sorry” you rolled your eyes, but he didn’t care.
In the blink of an eye, Bucky threw his arms around your shoulders and hugged you close, and you weren’t sure if the ‘I love you’ that echoed inside your mind had actually been spoken or just thought, but it was everything you never knew you needed.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes angst#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan imagine
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Temptation
-Wednesday-
I love him so much. God I love him. And he’ll never know. Maybe it was a curse from a past life or something. To live like this, tantalizingly close to him but unable to act. I knew he didn’t see me that way, but that didn’t help any in my situation.
Take today for instance, he just came back from the gym today soaked in the lingering smell of sweat. It was probably residual perspiration on the clothes he was carrying back or some other thing in his bag. Still. The smell. Goddamn. I could have died and gone to heaven on the spot. I tried to sneak a whiff of Connor, but all I could pick up was whatever soap and cologne he used. It was earthy, woodsy. Like cut cedar and fresh rain. It’s the Connor I always smelled, since he did always keep himself quite clean, and it’s a wonderful scent in its own right, forming the basis of my idea of Connor and the scent I associated with him. But damn. This paled in comparison to the hints of musk and workout sweat I could glean from his clothing. He reeked of pure man and it’s such a shame he covered that up. God I hope he doesn’t do laundry anytime soon.
He must have picked up on something, cause not a moment later I got a “Oh dude! I’m so sorry, this stuff probably reeks haha. I’ll get it washed up so it doesn’t stink up the place” he laughed politely. Fuck.
“Sure, you do you” I stated back, mentally cursing at his propensity for cleanliness.
You’d think the ROTC guys wouldn’t give two fucks about their smell but I guess Connor was an exception. Then again I don’t really know what they did, so maybe it was normal for them. In any case, he definitely did laundry tonight, and I definitely lost out on a good jack off.
-Friday-
So, weird thing happened last night. Connor looked tired as fuck, but he went out. The man must have been running on sheer willpower alone cause he had some kind of training day earlier today too. He collapsed in his room at like 8. Yet there he was an hour later- eyes bloodshot, hair tousled. Maybe he wanted to let loose or something? Still pretty weird. I mean, the guy was practically a saint. It’s odd enough that he went out for drinks, but even odder that he went out dressed like he did. Still I could definitely get used to a more experimental Connor.
He was also a little looser when he came back. Gave me a pat on the shoulder and a wink. Something about “keeping the room safe” or something. I couldn’t concentrate enough to tell what he was actually rambling about. His breath was drenched in alcohol. I feel like I almost got drunk off the fumes alone when he spoke. No surprise when he had no recollection of any of it after he woke up from his nap.
Total guilty pleasure, but the messy look was kind of hot on him. Never seen my friend so disheveled like this, he was always so prim and proper. It’s kind of nice to see him knocked down a few pegs.
-Tuesday-
Connor let out a cute yawn before scratching his pits. He gave his scratching hand a quick sniff before settling into a satisfied smile. My dick jumped a little. I feigned ignorance when he regarded me, asking me if I saw that. “I… uh…no. Definitely not.”
“Sure dude.” Now fully aware of my stare, Connor continued scratching at himself. “You’re seeing this now though, right?” He ran a hand over his stomach, gently feeling through his defined abs. I kept replaying the event in my head, drooling the delight I just witnessed and at a little daydream of me coming up to to feel this new side of Connor with him. In my daze, I barely noticed my roommate inching closer.
Plus, did he seem… bigger? Though I can’t say I’ve ever seen the guy without a shirt on so I guess I just never noticed. Regardless, this version of Connor was fucking hot. Looks like he’s got a tat too. Hot.
“Baby if you’re gonna keep looking, you might as well have a taste.” He laughed warmly. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. In my stunned state, I couldn’t do anything beyond stare at him in disbelief as a vascular hand that seemed larger than it should be guided mine around his perky ass. God what a nice ass. I still recoiled out of the sheer absurdity in the situation. Try as I might, I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea of this Connor. It’s like he was two different people. Well, I definitely liked this version of my friend more. I’m still drooling over what just happened.
“Another time, then,” he chuckled before walking to his room.
Weird. Connor never really shut his door other than to sleep. Guess he was tired or something.
-Thursday-
Well shit, I totally misread all of that. Today, I thought I saw that same glint of intrigue in his eyes and decided to risk it. Conner was just sitting in his boxers eating cereal and I was just standing there, a few feet behind. I couldn’t help it. My hand instinctively reached out and the cupped the outline of his ass. Perky. It was cute and compact and plump but definitely had a bit of muscle behind it. I regretted the action immediately.
“…The fuck dude?” He gently whispered. It was more bewilderment than anything. Fuck. He was incredulous and I couldn’t blame him. Anger raged inside him, I could tell. But neither of us knew what to do in the situation. We stood there, staring at each other for what felt like hours before I relented.
In shame I could barely stammer out a shameful “s-sorry” before I slunk back to my room, bright red.
I fucked up.
-Monday-
Okay. Scratch everything I just said. Connor is fucking with me. He’s got to be. He strode around the apartment half naked, humming a quiet tune to himself. Sure. Fine, I guess. Whatever. But as soon as he noticed me on the couch working on an essay, he walked over and gave me a hug from behind. Oh my god that hug. Connor was a lean dude, but I swear his muscles were fucking bulging, like they were barely contained in his skin. He wrapped those thick pythons over my shoulders and chest and I just about melted on the spot. I’m pretty sure I moaned a little too. Who wouldn’t? Wrapped in his warm embrace, surrounded by this man- I was his for that moment. I tensed up on the spot. I knew he didn’t swing that way, so I don’t know what he was trying but there was no way I would fall for what I could only assume was some kind of trap.
He spoke in a tone laced in sex. It set me off in a way I didn’t expect. This was a side of Connor I’ve never seen, a tone of Connor I’ve never heard- an experience of Connor I’ve never had. It was a Connor I never knew I needed.
“I’ve seen the way you look at this body. You’re not very subtle.” In the faintest of whispers, he leaned in until his lips were barely touching my ear. My dick was already rock hard in anticipation- I was practically bursting at the seams and I’m sure he had a great view of it. “Just say the word and ‘Connor’ is yours”.
With a control and a willpower I never had before, I refrained from kissing this boy- from putting myself all over him on the spot. I mentally cursed at my friend. ‘What the fuck are you playing at Connor?’
His hot, damp breath caressed my ear in its own embrace as I stood my ground, unmoving like stone. “Got to hand it to you, bro, you put up a really good fight. It’s okay. I love a good fight. Makes victory taste all the more sweeter.” The feel of Connor’s thick, defined fingers running through my hair and wet, slimy tongue across my cheek. He rolled his body forward, so the pulse through his abs would be felt across the back of my neck. From this spot, he was downright imposing. His guns went in for another caress- this time wrapping across my cheeks and around my chin.
“You know I love you bro… This body’s straight as an arrow. But it’s my body- I’ll go gay for you if you want”. What the fuck. Oh god I got a bit of his sweat on my cheek too. My eyes fluttered, body entrapped in a spell of my own hormones reacting to my friend’s advances.
Connor broke me. I shivered on the spot, leaned up to the man, moaned an “Oh fuck…Connor I-I need you. I-” before he cut me off. “Well bro, kind of looks like you still got some work today- you have fun with that.” He laughed coldly. He was fucking with me.
That whole exchange was really fucking weird, cause just a few hours later, it was back to pure awkward silence between us. Like a flip of a switch, the every energy he exuded around me could only be described as “uncomfortable”. I wanted to talk to him, to speak with him about earlier, to tell him I wanted him the same way. Something about those eyes read differently though. They read the same Connor I had been used to until recently. I decided to hold my tongue. Something about this situation wasn’t adding up.
Also I’m pretty sure this kid needs to see a doctor or something. I swear the guy doesn’t sleep- he’s out every night and then I see his tired ass drag himself to class every morning. Rushing a frat? Weird drugs? Could have been a host of things.
-Tuesday-
Now 4 days since the incident last week. Thankfully he hasn’t brought it up- nor has he brought up whatever the fuck yesterday was. If it was even real. I sweat and stumble over my sentences in every conversation I make with him. I flash back to what he said to me. God, this was all too much. Every time I try to focus myself, focus on whatever he was talking to me about, I couldn’t help but think of the Connor that visited me yesterday night.
Maybe, maybe it was just a hallucination. Maybe I dreamed it all up. I was working on an essay for hours. The whole encounter could have easily been a dream. He’s been going out every night too, so it’s not like he could have been speaking to me that coherently. Still. That didn’t make it any better. Whether or not he knew it, Connor was a demon in my life.
I shamefully admit I totally jacked off to that little exchange from yesterday after he left. Grabbed some used Connor-scented garments off his hamper and exploded all over myself in a Connor-themed session. Nothing like the exquisite gym-soaked clothes from a week ago, but it was enough. It was still Connor. My eyes rolled up to the back of my head in pleasure as I took a breath, basking in the afterglow and the scent of forest and earth and faintest lingering musk of Connor in my nose. Connor was everything to me and, hallucination or not, I committed yesterday’s events to memory.
-Still Tuesday-
Shitshitshit. Definitely not a dream. I caught the son of a bitch. In the dead of night, I caught him sneaking in from a dark corner of the room. Like a figure manifest from the shadows itself. He was holding some silver figurine in his hand, reciting some odd words, before he lunged at the sleeping Connor. He gave my roommate a quick sniff before scoffing. “Bro you have to stop cleaning all your nice smells away… With that the stranger pulled at the corners of Connor’s mouth. I watched as my roommate’s skin was forced to accommodate the man’s muscular calves.
I watched as the stranger pulled Connor every further up himself. Damn, even in the dark I could tell the man was ripped. When his head finally slotted into where Connor’s skull would be, and Connor’s face was stretched being pulled, I saw the immediate change in my friend’s demeanor. This was the guy who’s been fucking with me recently. This was why Connor looked so buff lately. I couldn’t see the man who jumped inside my best friend, but I could never wipe that smug smile he wore through Connor’s face.
The smell that originated from inside Connor, the same smell I experienced a week ago. God I loved that scent. It permeated throughout the room. Best friend concentrate. Like a humid, musky, grime that clung to the very air and decorated my nostrils. I never wanted his scent out of me again. I felt like I was inhaling Connor himself, regarding a newly discovered private part of my friend.
My stomach churned in a mix of anticipation and horror. Sweat beaded at my temples. Gotta admit, this was kind of hot. I had to figure out what I was gonna do about this. Self-preservation kicked in and I fled to my room, taking special attention to ensure I did not alert the man inside Connor. Not like he’d notice anyways- dude was feeling himself up almost immediately after he slipped inside.
-Wednesday-
It’s like clockwork at this point. The “other” Connor came back early in the morning from a wild night out, before passing out on our couch as I was finally able to speak with my friend. Impossibly tired eyes looked back at me. He gave a weak grimace. “Must have passed out again….Uh.. can I help you man?” My heart sank. Could I really tell him this? My poor roommate. “No, uh.. do you want any breakfast?”.
I could tell he had meant to say yes. He motioned as much, before staring at my face and turning away. Fuck. He was definitely still put off by last week’s advance. I honestly don’t blame him. “N-no. I got it. Thanks.”
I grimaced awkwardly before shrugging and walking to fix myself some breakfast. This would complicate things. And I couldn’t do that to Connor. I needed to find a way to fix this without him knowing. Evidently, his body being used and worn out like an evening jacket was taking its toll on him. Despite whatever we were going through, he was still my friend. And I couldn’t in good faith add more to that burden.
“Hey, one of the guys from the gym’s coming over for dinner, that cool?”
“Yeah man, I’ll just order some extra pizza,” I said back, sighing internally in relief at some semblance of normalcy.
-Still Wednesday -
I met Connor’s gym friend. To be honest, already forgot his name. He gave me a wink when he shook my hand and I couldn’t stop staring all dinner. I think even Connor picked up on it. He looked almost jealous with all the attention I usually gave him being directed at the stranger. The stranger asked to use the bathroom, and I wanted to let him know how to get to it, but he seemed to already know the path.
“Hey bro, is it cool if I stay the night?“ I nodded automatically, lost in deep thought.
There’s something peculiar about the Connor’s gym friend. And I didn’t notice it until I was already in bed. Then hit me like a brick.
That fucking smirk.
-End-
If anyone knows who this guy is, please let me know… for.. uh.. research purposes.
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daydreams : b.b
there’s always been something between you and bucky. but when it comes to telling him, you’re left wishing for a daydream that’ll never be. (inspired by the song daydream by maisie peters) (2.2k)
masterlist / permanent taglist
(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)
“Mornin’ Y/n,” Your ears perk up as Bucky strolls into the kitchen with a tired smile, one that never fails to warm your heart.
Natasha resists the urge to chuckle at your lovesick state as you try to subtly watch Bucky make his morning coffee. “Sleep well, Barnes?” Natasha asks, seeing your eyes widen out of the corner of your eyes. If only Wanda were here, she’d love to know what you’re thinking about.
“Not really, I’ve been finding it hard to fall asleep.” Bucky explains, now leaning against the kitchen counter as he blows on his coffee, unaware of the near heart palpations you’re having at the sight of his pursed lips. “A lot on my mind, but nothing at the same time.”
“I get that,” You speak up, now catching Bucky’s attention. “you wish your brain had an off switch, god knows I need one.” You chuckle into your cereal and hear Bucky laugh softly to himself.
“Well, maybe Tony will make one for us someday, doll.” Bucky jokes as he winks to you and nods to Natasha before exiting the kitchen.
Natasha raises a brow to you as you try and avoid choking on your cereal. “Huh, doll?” Natasha quips, causing you nearly splutter your coffee all over the counter.
“Oh stop,” You nudge her lightly. “it’s nothing really. Bucky calls all of us doll.”
“I don’t think so,” Natasha comments. “I think you’re the only one he calls doll, Y/n.”
You shake your head in disbelief. “Nah, I swear I’ve heard him call Wanda doll before.” You trail off, trying to think deeply if you’ve actually heard him call anyone by the nickname, or if in fact, it has only been you.
Picking up her coffee, Natasha simply mumbles into it. “Whatever helps you get through the day, Y/n.”
*
Yawning, you couldn’t help but feel your eyes drooping as you stare at the screen.
“We keeping you up, Y/n?” Steve jokes as you curl up on one end of the sofa whilst Bucky remains on the other.
“Nope, I’m good.” You comment, giving Steve a thumbs up.
“And you call us old, huh?” Bucky adds, feeling you kick his foot off the sofa playfully as you pick up a cushion and hug it tightly.
Within a matter of minutes, you give in to the desire to fall asleep. At first, neither men notice the lack of comments or shuffling from you. But when you subconsciously dip towards Bucky, his reflexes aren’t what they once were.
Bucky looks down to see you lying on his metal arm, still hugging the cushion as your breathing deeply, lost in a heavy sleep. “Oh, Y/n.” He chuckles quietly as he lifts his arm up and wraps it around you, holding you close as the film carries on.
Yet, Steve tears his eyes from the screen to observe the rare sight. Bucky allowing himself to fully unwind and enjoy the moment he’s in.
“Quit staring, Steve.” Bucky speaks up, snapping Steve out of it and reverts his attention to the film whilst Bucky smiles to himself, running his fingers along your arm soothingly before he tugs on the blanket draped over your feet, bringing it further up to stop you shivering. “There you go, doll.” He whispers as you curl up closer into Bucky’s embrace.
*
Natasha stands behind you as she helps secure your dress. “We good?” You ask, turning your head as Natasha steps back and smiles to Wanda.
“Oh we’re more than good,” Wanda comments, crossing her arms as she looks you up and down whilst Natasha holds back her wolf whistle. “Bucky Barnes won’t know what’s hit him when he sees you in there.”
Rolling your eyes, you walk over toward you mirror, catching sight of the black silk dress, hugging you in all the right places. “Who knows.” You mutter, not wanting to get your hopes up too high.
“Only one way to find out.” Natasha reminds you as she walks over to your door, opening it. “Come on girls,” She holds her hand out as Wanda takes yours before grabbing Natasha’s. “we’ve got a party to get to.”
As you near the open living space the sound of music intensifies. Wanda squeezes your hand as you pause for a second, feeling your nerves starting to get the better of you.
“We’re all here, Y/n. It’s okay.” Wanda reminds you as the three of you reach the doors to the party.
“Now or never, huh?” You chuckle as you push the door open and glance around at the transformation Pepper has been able to pull off with less than a weeks notice. “Wow.” You breathe out, oblivious to the blue eyes watching you from the bar, having had the same reaction.
Besides Wanda and Natasha, you walk down the stairs and head straight towards the bar.
“What can I get for you ladies?” The bartender asks as your eyes wander across the various drinks available.
“Three beers, please.” Natasha asks as the bartender places the three bottles in front of you.
“Add it to my tab, thanks.” Bucky comments as he moves closer, standing beside you as he nurses his own bottle. “Ladies,” He smiles to the three of you. “may I say you’re all looking beautiful this evening.”
You smile shyly, lowering your head at his comment. “I’m loving the suit, Barnes. Black really is your colour.” Natasha raises her beer to him.
“Looks like you two coordinated this.” Sam pipes in from behind Bucky. “Y/n,” Sam steps away from Bucky as he takes a hold of your hands and whistles. “damn girl, you gotta dress up more often.”
Laughing happily, you roll your eyes in response. “Oh Sam, always know how to charm a girl, huh?” You pick up your beer, taking a sip as you glance over to Bucky, just as a new song begins to play through the speakers.
“Come on, Y/n, wanna dance?” Sam asks you, raising a brow.
“Not this one Sam,” You tell him as you pat his shoulder. “but, I think there’s someone over there who might.” Turning him around, you push him in the direction of Natasha before reverting your attention to your beer.
“Saving yourself for someone, doll?” Bucky questions, swigging the last of his beer as he looks out at everyone dancing to the upbeat song. “I still don’t get it, what happened to just dancing?”
“This is dancing, Bucky.” You remind him. “Things change over the years, but your style of dancing still exists, don’t you worry.”
“Y/n!” Wanda calls for you from the dance floor as her shoes now absent. “Come on over!” She waves her hand repeatedly.
“Doesn’t look like you’ve got much choice, Y/n.” Bucky chuckles as you push yourself away from the bar.
Yet, you pause and turn back to Bucky with a mischievous smile. “Yeah, neither do you.” You tell him, taking a hold of his hand and drag him with you, not taking no for an answer.
It takes a few seconds for Bucky to loosen up, and he tries to blend in as you dance freely with the others.
“Loosen up, Buck!” You shout over the music. “You dance like my dead grandpa.” You laugh, and Bucky grumbles to himself as he tries to copy Sams moves.
“Barnes has moves?!” Wanda shouts as the three of you dance (or attempt to in Bucky’s case.)
Just as Bucky gets the hang of it, the song fades out into a slow song, one you don’t recognise. “I know this song.” Bucky states as his eyes wander to Steve who is perched at the bar with Natasha who nods to him.
“Wanna dance, Bucky?” You ask, holding your hand out.
“Of course.” He answers, taking your hand as he twirls you into his embrace before resting his metal hand on your waist as you sway together.
“So, this is what you had in mind when you said dancing then?” You ask as Bucky smiles to you, perfectly content. “I see why you like it so much, everything just melts away.”
Bucky hums as he holds your hand up, allowing you to twirl along to the song before bringing you closer once more. “A world without worries for four minutes.” Bucky mutters.
“God, I think I might just love you, Bucky.” You mumble under your breath as you close your eyes for a moment, unaware that Bucky heard every word that just left your lips.
His grip on your waist loosens as his fingers slip out from yours. “Y/n,” Bucky starts, looking down as you open your eyes and stare up at him with blind panic.
“Shit, Bucky, I, I’m sorry, just ignore me.” You ramble, hoping he’d just forget it, but Bucky steps closer.
“Y/n, I’m sorry,” He sighs, lifting his hand to your face as he brushes your hair out from your eyes. “I, I can’t.” The words leave his lips and all you can do is nod. “I care about you, Y/n, you know that. But I can’t.” He repeats the words, chipping away at your heart.
“It’s okay, Bucky.” You mutter. “I, I’ve got to go.” You excuse yourself, turning away and walk quickly past the bar, ignoring Natasha calling your name.
Steve rises to his feet, staring at Bucky stood alone on the dance floor as you close the doors at the top of the stairs behind you, hoping no one can hear you cry as you rush to your room.
“What the hell was that?!” Natasha tries to reframe from shouting as Bucky walks towards her and Steve, hanging his head in shame.
“Y/n said she loves me.” Bucky states, looking up at the pair who act like it’s nothing new. “You, you knew?”
Natasha scoffs as she glances up at Steve. “Of course we knew, Barnes. What did you say to her?”
Bucky sighs as disappointment lines Steve’s expression. “I, I told her I can’t ever love her like that.” Bucky tells the pair, hearing Steve sigh heavily before Natasha slaps Bucky across the face.
Holding his cheek, Bucky knows he deserves it as Natasha stares at him with pure rage. “How dare you, Bucky.” Natasha seethes as she walks off, heading in search of you.
“Damn,” Bucky mutters as his cheek burns and picks up the beer bottle, rolling it along his cheekbone. “I deserved that.”
“How could you, Bucky?” Steve asks.
“I’ll only end up hurting her, Steve.” Bucky explains. “I can’t put her through that.”
“And you think she isn’t hurt now?” Steve retorts coldly. “God, Buck, I really thought you loved her.” Steve sighs as he walks away from his oldest friend, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Lowering the beer, Bucky takes a seat at the bar with his back to everyone else. “I do,” Bucky mutters to himself. “and that’s what hurts the most.”
*
It had been almost a month and Bucky hadn’t seen you since the night of the party. He had tried to run into you after you locked your floor from him accessing it with FRIDAY’s help. All he wanted to do was apologise first and foremost, and if you’d let him, have the chance to explain himself.
With a heavy heart, Bucky walks into the kitchen to see Steve stood over the counter, reading the newspaper. “Hey, Steve,” Bucky calls out.
“Buck.” Steve answers as his eyes remain trained on the paper as he turns the page.
“Fancy going for a run this afternoon?” Bucky asks as he pours himself a mug of coffee, walking around the counter to the other side to face his friend. “Meant to be good weather, least that’s what FRIDAY said.”
“I said I’d help Y/n train.” Steve responds, now looking up as Bucky tenses upon hearing your name. “Maybe tomorrow.”
Turning around, Bucky places his mug down, resting his hands on the counter. “How, how is she?” He asks. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah,” Steve comments. “she’s strong, Bucky but you’ve got to give her time, that’s all.” Steve explains as he walks around the counter, heading toward the floor to ceiling windows that overlook the compound grounds.
“I just miss her.” Bucky admits, walking to stand beside Steve as he notices two figures emerging below and the faint sound of laughter echoing.
“She misses you too, Bucky.” Steve states as he smiles softly to Bucky.
Focusing on the two figures, Bucky looks closer seeing it’s you. He exhales shakily at the sight of you, a bright smile on your face as you walk alongside someone he can’t quite place.
“Who-”
“Peter.” Steve answers before Bucky can even finish his question. “Or Spiderman if that’s any easier.” Steve shrugs, watching you playfully shove Peter as you laugh happily with him.
“She looks happy.” Bucky mutters as Peter wraps his arm around your shoulder and you rest your arm around his waist. “That’s good.” He lies to himself as he steps away.
“Bucky,” Steve trails off as Bucky walks away from the window, heading back to the lift with a heavy heart at the sight of you happy with someone else, someone he’ll never be except in his daydreams.
t a g l i s t (thank you for the support!) link in my bio and at the top of this piece to add yourself☺️(if your user isn’t tagged, it’s because nothing comes up sorry!)
@biss-stuff @psychicforest @lourightm @mywinterwolf @justsomedreaming @stanlux17 @smokeandnailz @supermoonchildbroski @xrosegoldwolfx @courtneychicken @marvelsangels @supraveng @tommy-lee-81 @smilexcaptainx @fandom-princess-forevermore @sarge-barnes-sir @pleasantlysecretdream @decaffeinated–fangirl @howdyherron @kirby-boo @florencxs @eldahae @handmesomecoffee @hi-my-name-is-riley @dev1lbella @thanossexual @alissaginger @sambucky8 @notbrooklynsblog @scallisonbaby @adoreyou976 @nikkixostan @sarcasticallywitty15
#breaking my own heart#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes headcanon#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x reader au#avengers#avengers imagine#avengers imagines#avengers x reader#avengers fluff#avengers oneshot#avengers angst#avengers au#avengers headcanon#avengers writing#bucky barnes fic#marvel#marvel imagines#marvel imagine#marvel fic#marvel writing#marvel fluff#marvel angst
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Tied and untamed
Pairing: Johnny Depp x Reader
Anonymous requested: Johnny x reader. The reader admits that she’d love to have sex with captain Jack Sparrow while watching a POTC film...
NSFW. Smut. 18+ only. Proceed with caution! Mentions of roleplaying, cursing, restraints & unprotected sex.
@kittenlittle24
We’re sitting on the couch. I’m watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Johnny has his nose buried in a book and hasn’t moved for the past hour. He’s never sat through one of his films and whenever asked about it, would be adamant that he’d rather be tortured than forced to watch himself. Having him in the room was progress, even if I knew for a fact that his attention was deep in his book and there wasn’t much hope in breaking his concentration.
It was quite a shame, really. I love watching his films, even if he’ll argue that having the real thing in front of me is better than the sight of him on a screen.
“You know, I’ve always found Jack Sparrow incredibly hot.”
He looks up from the top of his book and frowns at me.
“You know, I’m sitting right here. Am I not good enough?”
I laugh at him and lean up to kiss his cheek. He always acts as if he’s so offended when I tell him things like that, as if it’s a competition between him and whatever character is on the screen.
“I’m just saying, if he wanted to take me for a ride on the Black Pearl, I’d let him in a heartbeat.”
---
Not a single word had been mentioned about my Jack Sparrow admission since I’d brought it up. Either he’d brushed it off, or was thinking of a way to use it against me. I’m busy finishing brushing my teeth and turning off the faucet tap when I hear him call through from the bedroom.
“Are you done yet?”
I move on through to stand at the door of the ensuite, and have the perfect view of him sitting up in bed shirtless, the covers over his lower half.
“Come on, come over here to Jack.”
I’d recognise that voice anywhere and can feel the heat of a blush rising into my cheeks. Is this really how he plans on teasing me about it?
“You’re making fun of me for earlier. I knew you would.”
I walk into the room and fold my arms over my chest, standing at the foot of the bed.
“I am not. You told me that you wanted to have a night with Captain Jack Sparrow, this is me indulging you.”
He reaches out to grab ahold of my arm, pulling me down onto the bed so that I land on top of him. I alter my position, so that my legs are on either side of him in a straddling position. “See? Isn’t this much better?”
He leans up, capturing my lips in a feverish kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth with confidence and dominance. He pulls back and scrapes his teeth over my bottom lips harshly.
“I have an idea… Go and see if you can find any shackles.”
He looks up at me with a grin, his eyes lighting up in unadulterated mischief. It takes me a moment to work out what he means by ‘shackles’, but then I remember the films. He means handcuffs, like in the scene where Jack gives up every ounce of control and lets himself be cuffed to the Black Pearl by Elizabeth. I know for a fact that we don’t own anything of the sort in the house, but come up with a quick improvisation.
“Wait there, just a moment.”
One of his scarves that he always has lying around the room is the perfect quick solution. He’s looking over at me with an adventurous grin as I’m holding it in my hand.
“Am I tying your hands behind your back, or to the bed posts?”
He licks his lips.
“Mm, now you’re talking… Whatever way you want to take me, love. I’m yours.”
Everything about him is Jack Sparrow right now, from the character voice, to the smirk on his lips, and the glimmer of mischief in his eyes.
“Behind your back.”
I’m not sure where the surge of confidence is coming from, but I’ll take it. Johnny complies by putting his wrists together for me to wrap the scarf around, binding them. I make sure to tie a tight enough knot too that I’m confident he won’t break free from.
“But since I’m all tied up, you’ll need to strip down for me yourself…”
I take no hesitation in lifting my shirt off from my body and tossing it to the floor. I don’t know what’s going through his head or what tricks he has up his sleeves, but it’s exciting and intriguing. I’m pretty sure that Johnny knows it too.
I come to sit on top of him, fully aware of his gaze taking in my body. I can almost see the frustration in him too at the fact he can’t touch. There’s something that feels gratifying in being handed over this much power and trust at once.
I nip at the skin at his neck, sucking on it enough to be certain to leave a red mark and begin to kiss down towards his collarbone, down to his chest and towards his stomach. With every brush of my lips, every groan that I hear rumbling from the back of his throat, each thrust of his hips grinding against me, as if he’s encouraging me further, the confidence grows. As I reach his navel, I contemplate just what my next move is going to be. Will I continue to tease him a little more to push him? Or will I be a little adventurous? I look up at him with a devilish grin.
Johnny has other plans.
I’m not quite sure how he manages to do it, but he somehow manages to flip positions so that I’m beneath him. He’s staring down at me with a triumphant grin. He must have been planning this all along.
“You’ll remember this,” He moves his hips to grind down against me, and leans down into my ear. “As the night that you almost tied up and tamed Jack Sparrow.”
He begins to kiss my neck, his teeth scraping along my skin, sending immediate shivers down my spine.
“Less talking, more action.”
He finds the junction to my neck and shoulders and bites down hard.
“Sparrow.”
I roll my eyes at him. When he’s in character, he’s immersed, it’s as if it takes him over.
“Sparrow.”
It’s as if the name is a source of encouragement to surge him further. He’s pressing his already dangerously hard cock against the inside of my thigh, as if he knows it’s taunting and driving me wild. He’s soaking up every moment of it too.
“God, you’re so hot.”
“Glad you think so.”
He winks playfully at me and moves his hips so that his cock is brushing through my folds, and gof does it feel amazing. The suspense is toe curling. I need him inside of me.
“Johnny-”
“Jack.” He corrects firmly. “You asked for it, love, remember?”
“You’re driving me crazy.”
I bring my hands up to rest at his back, my fingernails gently digging into his skin, not enough to hurt him, yet.
“Then my plan is working.”
I still don’t know what this ‘plan’ is, but the thought of it is driving me wilder and wilder by the second.
“Fuck me,” I hiss, digging my nails further into his skin and dragging them down his spine. I’m sure of the fact that I hear a little out of character whimper from him.
“All you had to do is ask, savvy?” He grins conceitedly. “How hard? I’m thinking of pounding into you and making you cum until you’re screaming and begging for me to stop.”
Being in control suits him. I’m not even sure if he realises how much of a turn on for me it is, or how much I want to feel him inside of me. It’s starting to become painful just how much I want him.
“God, John, I need you.”
I’m unashamed at the fact I’m practically begging for him to take and bury himself inside of me.
“I should punish and make you wait for bringing up this other man again.”
He wouldn’t date.
Hands still tied behind his back, he moves so that the head of his throbbing cock is pressing against my entrance. Without any warning, he pushes inside in a way that is anything but gentle, and barely gives me a moment to adjust before he’s thrusting and pounding into me.
“Fuck,” I whimper, moving my hands to tangle and pull in his hair. The sounds of skin slapping, moans, and pants start to fill the room. It feels amazing. I’m completely powerless to him and the hold that he has. He pulls himself out, only to ram himself back in and fuck me even harder than before.
“You feel so good, fuck.” He growls under his breath. “I love you underneath me like this…” Each word is met with another rough thrust. I know that at the rate and speed that he’s going at, the two of us aren’t going to last long, but it also feels so good that I never want the pleasure to end.
His lips are pressing kisses to my breasts, before he takes a nipple between his teeth and tugs hard. I pull on his hair roughly, feeling my walls begin to tighten around him.
“Don’t hold back for me, sweetheart. I want you to cum for me and hear how well I’ve fucked you.”
I’m not sure whether it’s the thrusts or the words of encouragement that pushes me over the edge more. The familiar heat rushes to my stomach, followed by the intense rush of pleasure and the shaking as I spill over him.
“Good girl.” He brings his lips to mine in a passionate kiss. His own thrusts are beginning to slow down and become sloppy, to the point where he can’t keep up with himself. He groans as he reaches his climax too, and spills out deep inside of me.
I lie there for a moment trying to catch my breath and come down from the intense orgasm that I’ve just experienced.
Johnny still has another trick up his sleeve. With a sharp tug of his wrists, he unfastens the tie and shows me his free hands.
“Next time, we’re going to need better restraints.”
He mumbles and rests his hands on my hips.
“My turn.” He pulls out the scarf to it’s full length and grins wickedly at me. “After giving you such an earth shattering orgasm, I think I’m worthy of watching you ride me.” He slides down from being on top of me and waggles his eyebrow suggestively.
I roll my eyes at him fondly, I’m hardly going to deny him, but can’t resist throwing in a cheeky comment. “Aren’t you supposed to be too old for this?”
He laughs and shakes his head. If anything, I’ve probably just fuelled him for the night even further. “Never.”
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Congrats again on 2K. i’m so happy for you ❤️
For the emojis: 🔥☕️🚧
For the character: Jax, i feel like those emojis have a Jax vibe
Thanks for your request for my Emoji Fic Fest! And thanks for the congrats! 💗
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Roadblocks Don’t Suck
Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, car sex (quick & rough, light choking, Jax’s leather gloves (they’re a whole kink)) Word Count: ~1.4k Emoji Prompt: 🔥☕️🚧 (key words are in bold)
Jax Teller is a lot of things. Pussy-whipped isn’t one of them, but somehow when you ask for things he gives in to a ton of them. On some level in his alpha male soul that sort of stings.
He’s in the driver’s seat grumpy and grumbling like a five-year-old. You’re really in the driver’s seat with all the power that you hold, over the prince of Charming, destined to be king.
He lights a cigarette. The little flame matches his mood flickering sharply with resentment and regret, that he had caved to what you said.
“How’s your goddamn coffee,” he snaps, bitter and full of sass. Gruffly, to hide the fact that you can turn him into such a goddamn softie.
“It’s fucking lovely,” you proclaim, taking another sip and gloating without shame. This morning you’d asked Jax to drive your car to where the two of you are headed, rather than taking his Harley as he typically prefers instead. You wanted to sit comfortably with your coffee and finish up the book you’ve almost fully read.
He doesn’t know yet you were also hoping you could give him road head.
“Fuck!” Jax suddenly rasps as he steps on the brake just when you reach the end of your book, causing you to look up out the windshield in shock. It’s just a bit of bad traffic but your man sounds as furious as if your car was hit by a damn truck. “Ugh, there’s a fucking roadblock. This shit fucking sucks.”
Jax really just can’t deal with traffic at a standstill. He is seething, heavy breathing, living proof that looks can kill.
Glimpse flashing lights and obstacles with slanted black and yellow stripes to mark construction that’s in progress up ahead. Prince Fuming grits his bright white teeth around his cigarette like he wants someone dead. Possibly you. “See, bitch if we were on my bike I could’ve just driven right through…”
“Would you just stop? Here, I’ll give you a handjob,” you decide, casting your finished paperback off to the side. Sometimes—a lot of times—you’d rather make Jax Teller cum than hear him talk. “Shut up, just sit back and enjoy your smoke and let me stroke your cock.”
“What are we, fifteen-year-old kids? You’ll grab my dick and let me grope your tits?” he laughs, as you reach in his jeans to grip and squeeze his massive shaft. “Get down and suck.”
You take your hands out of his pants and cross your arms over your chest tightly, to tell him no such luck. “Maybe I would have if you’d asked nicely, you bossy little fuck.”
“You love it when I’m bossy.” Jax is well aware that his dominance gets you wet and juicy. “Know it hits you in your kinky little pussy.”
“You don’t know shit about my kinks,” you lie.
“You think?” he challenges with a dark glimmer in his eye. The heat of hell behind his smile. Glances out the window at the standstill traffic and decides to put the car in park so he can make this goddamn ride worthwhile.
Asking nicely isn’t really Jax’s style.
You can act like you don’t want it but there’s no point in denial. Every goddamn thing about him drives you wild.
When he wants something he takes it—bends your will to fight him off and fucking breaks it—snaps a finger and you’re naked—he makes sure you want it wholeheartedly too—but that shit’s never hard to do.
He always has you spouting off a senseless stream of oh God Jesus Christ Jax yes fuck yes in two seconds or less. Knows he’s your ever-living weakness. Face you see when you scream Jesus. Knows you’re his to play with any way he pleases. Knows just what buttons to press, to get his girl to be a wet whimpering mess.
Has you spread out on the backseat, shaking in heat, as he strips off your summer dress. Stays fully clothed because he knows it’s fucking torture when he doesn’t let you cleave against the smooth skin of his chest. Settle for clutching at the leather of his vest. The leather Jax Teller wears best.
Or is it…? Though you’ve never mentioned this before, Jax saw the sparkle in those pretty eyes of yours, when you watched his hands on the steering wheel clad in his leather gloves and thought that shit’s fucking exquisite.
To be honest it’s ridiculous that he’d wear leather gloves to drive a car. Today’s ride isn’t even far. You know it’s just so he can feel more like he’s riding on his Harley and it’s dumb as fuck but you don’t care about that given what a slut you are. Jax in the leather of his kutte is hot enough—but these damn gloves… they have you seeing fucking stars…
You’d wanted him to push your head deep in his lap while you bent down to suck him off. Feeling the smooth warmth of the leather in your hair and on your cheeks as you devoured his enormous cock and showered it with love.
He’d like that very fucking much, without a doubt, but in this moment he would rather see your gorgeous glowing face than have it buried in his crotch. More in the mood to fuck your pussy than your mouth. He wants to watch, the way your inner slut is spinning out—surrenders to his touch… the way your features melt, descending into ecstasy past anything you’ve ever fucking felt… as he traces his thumb across your bottom lip with one hand while the other frames your hips—taking you in his leather grip—tight as a belt, sharp as a whip.
And it’s insane the way it makes your pussy drip. Your brain is on a fucking trip. Can leather get you fucking pregnant? On the road the traffic’s still completely stagnant, but your man will have to get back in the driver’s seat again soon once the cars begin to move. There’s not a lot of time to get into the groove. No time for fun and games and foreplay—just a frantic feral fuck here on the freeway—love and lust one and the same to make and take when you two have nothing to prove.
Outside of sex, you know that it’s your job as Jax Teller’s old lady to continually kick his ego down a couple pegs. But it’s a different fucking story when he’s hovering above you and all set to shove his meat into the aching soaking heat between your legs.
A piece of prey for him to eat. To read your body as it breaks and burns and begs. Jax is the undisputed king when he has you spread in his bed or the backseat. And as his leather-clad hand wraps around your throat you gasp at how it feels so sweet because you know what’s coming next…
He applies just the perfect pressure and oh fuck you’ve never felt such perfect pleasure.
You can feel his power pouring through the leather. You can feel it pounding through your blood, as he plows deep inside your pulsing cunt, that fucking instant, with a savage fucking grunt, rock hard as he drives home and hits a flood, ��cause you’ve never been wetter. You’re his fucking slut. Forever.
Two or three bucks of his hips—he sucks the prayer of his name off of your lips—tightens that leather fucking grip—your grip on consciousness begins to fucking slip…
Just came undone, though this had only just begun. He spills inside you that same second and you’re both sprawled on the seat sex-dumb and drunk.
Two seconds later all the cars outside decide to fucking honk.
He really doesn’t give a fuck. You’re both so bulldozed by the love you made you probably wouldn’t notice if this steamy little car of yours got totaled by a truck. Honk all they want for all you care—the two of you are far beyond the world out there—you’re stuck in heaven with no plans to come unstuck.
Maybe try fucking one more time to piss off everyone outside and push your luck.
Jax reads your mind because it’s his. Leather glove soft around your throat now as he smiles through a cigarette-and-coffee-flavored kiss. “Maybe roadblocks don’t suck.”
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Emoji Fic Masterlist
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@happyhunnams @band--psycho @est11 @edonaspanca @starbooty @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz @coffeebooksandfandom @thesuicidalflower @flaireandsynch @helloheyhihowdyheya @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @zozebo @bettergetusetoit @emilykjh @little-diable @rocketqueen @mrspeacem1nusone @miss-smutty @rayslittlekitten @abby-splace @chubbychubbs28 @miraclesoflove @tegggeeee @hunnambabe @missusnora @kesskirata @vixenrebellion @thexhostess @pomegranatearildreams @kandii395 @severewobblerlightdragon @itspdameronthings @niki-xie @cind-in-real-life @saweetspoiled @poge-life @few-proud-emotonal @samanthaisnthome @melodranas @soaharleys @charlie-hunnams-old-lady @simpmasterjr @nataliewalker93 @lovebarefootblonde @marvelousmermaid @tsukuyomi011 @sciapod
#jax teller#sons of anarchy#soa#charlie hunnam#jax teller smut#sons of anarchy smut#soa smut#charlie hunnam smut#jax teller imagine#sons of anarchy imagine#soa imagine#charlie hunnam imagine#jax teller fanfiction#sons of anarchy fanfiction#soa fanfiction#charlie hunnam fanfiction#jax teller x reader#jax teller x you#charlie hunnam x reader#charlie hunnam x you#emoji fics
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the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you
each of the bad batch x gn!reader
ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind
ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh
so anyway
Hunter: Pretty Woman
this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last
first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex
second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time
he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it
the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread
after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)
he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead
he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)
hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty
Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You
if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre
maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love
and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You
he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked
he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick
(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)
he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them
will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene
(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)
when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit
Tech: 50 Shades of Grey
ok hear me out on this one
tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time
this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with
he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two
and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever
you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds
and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him
with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)
but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast
literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”
even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie
also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))
Wrecker: 13 Going On 30
of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick
like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it
this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game
his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30
i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)
wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)
he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house
he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them
wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3
Echo: The Princess Bride
i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie
pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.
echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently
he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest
even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley
like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup
literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)
when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)
he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits
every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”
every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain
echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you
Omega: Clueless
i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)
so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible
clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill
it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman
it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd
if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better
the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie
at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life
the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz
she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang
(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)
it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it
she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight
(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)
honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses
she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness
#the bad batch#bad batch#tbb#the bad batch headcanons#tbb crosshair#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#the bad batch x reader#tbb echo#tbb tech#tbb x reader#crosshair tbb#hunter tbb#tech tbb#wrecker tbb#echo tbb#omega tbb#tbb omega#hunter x reader#crosshair x reader#tech x reader#echo x reader#wrecker x reader
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── Adam. Fluff! HCs
Warning. None, just me writing I guess.
Author’s note. It’s almost 5 am for me, I’m too excited to sleep. I need to practice my english probably incorrect grammar here and there,, so this too long. Just I love too much this beautiful man
愛. Adam despite his laid-back personality is an absolute gentleman, sweet and very protective when it comes to you, like a charming prince. He’s not a very touchy person at first but he becomes affectionate with you. He genuinely enjoys spending time with you though he isn’t clingy he is protective over you and will worry about your safety and well-being. Especially if you are careless, clumsy, or weak in which case, he can be a little bit fatherly towards you, feeling the need to take care of you. Of course, he’ll always make sure you’re taking care of yourself; that you’re eating enough and eating healthily, that you’re getting sufficient amounts of sleep and exercise.
愛. His kisses are deliberate. They’re gentle and sweet, it always feels right. Adam’s kisses last longer but are still gentle and in bed they can get a little more feverish and aren’t limited to just your lips. Eskimo kisses. The Father of Humanity invented them and you cannot tell me otherwise, probably because it requires less effort. He’s more a man of action than words and he’ll try his best to encourage you and support you when he can tell you need it. He’s also the best for raising your self-esteem. He’s always there to help boost your confidence if you need it. Adam seems to find happiness in simple things. He tends to approach things lightheartedly and this helps you if you are pessimistic or who sometimes can be a bit down.
愛. Adam loves to sit with you in peace and be completely comfortable together sitting in complete silence with stolen kisses and touch. Adam gives off an aura of serenity and it’s really comforting without him even trying to be. There wouldn’t be talking, just sitting side by side, enjoying the quiet and warmth your body radiate. And let him play with your hair. He can feel the stress melt away from you as you melt in his arms as his fingers twirl your locks. When he does it is always so gentle, his gestures are so delicate, you can relax every time he brushes you, you can fall asleep sometimes. Cain and Abel enjoy it too! Adam felt his somnolent little one start to nod off against him. He wrapped his arms around him and cradled him softly against him, stroking his head. And your hand stroking the blond hair of your cute Abel who lay on your soft lap, sighing blissfully, causing you to laugh.
愛. He is very considerate and observant and remembers a lot about you and is nearly perfect at coming up with presents for you which he will surprise you with gifts at random times, but especially any time he thinks you need cheering up. Mostly are simple gifts whether it’s flowers, your favourite food, or that pretty dress he saw you eyeing the other day at the store. Loves when you bring him lunch. Adam thinks your food is the most delicious thing ever. Especially when you can sweeten those sour apples of Eden. When you are baking he does enjoy helping you decorate your cakes and cookies though. Also with Cain and Abel stealing some a bit when you’re two not looking.
愛. He doesn’t mind PDA and enjoys holding hand, hugs and kisses kind of enjoys it if you are a bit clingy or touchy. Adam is quite direct. He may not seem like the type to say ‘I love you,’ but in fact, he can say it often and very matter-of-factly, no matter who’s around to hear it. Adam has no shame. He just doesn’t care what others think, he likes to hesitate to rest his head on your shoulder or he’ll come and he’ll lay his head in your lap without a word even as you are busy. Adam doesn’t get jealous very easily at all. He’s chill with everybody, he knows you love him and he has no reason to be really jealous, so he’d it’s not necessarily jealousy if someone was genuinely trying to piss him off. Adam will outright call the other person out, reminding them how disrespectful it is to mess with someone else’s partner. He thinks communication is key in a relationship. He’ll always talk to you if something is bothering him and he’ll expect you to do the same. And if you’re ever uncomfortable, no matter the situation, he’ll be there to help you.
愛. Adam like spending time with his children playing or teaching them things especially anything dealing with animals but even just different things in general like helping them learn to walk or talk or explaining how things work. Just imagine the small proud smile on his face at his son first steps. Adam and his sons rarely argue he is the type of dad that his children could talk to about anything, knowing that he won’t judge them and that he’ll always love them. If one of them would misbehave from time to time, but it might be a rare occurrence since Adam would be the type to talk and always explain why he is saying “No” rather than just say it and expect to be obeyed. M!AU;Adam is the most ‘cool’ dad. Like all of the kids at the school admiring him when he comes to pick his children up. They all just think he looks so cool and strong. But very gentle with the kids.
愛. Adam is not a morning person. He prefers to sleep in, especially if is with you. But always the only exception is when his family needs him or goes to job. Especially if you wake up earlier than either on needs you need just let him hugging and holding you from behind while placing his chin over your shoulder while wrapping his arms under your waist. Mostly Adam stays up just to make sure you fall asleep soundly and he’ll tend to watch you but not in a creepy way. He just likes to take in your beautiful sleeping face and bask in the fact that you’re actually sleeping with him. This makes him realize that you both trust each other fully and that’s when he’s the most comfortable falling asleep when you’re safe and with him. It’d be wonderful and I bet he’d be adorable to wake up next to him. That’s my fantasy.
愛. Adam loves animals. He talks to them all the time. Probably more than he talks to everyone else combined, except for you, of course. He’d love to have a pet with you. Very possibly a bunny. But anyway there is always a bird accompanying him or a small field mouse determined to following him. Adam would much rather read a book with you or go for a peaceful evening stroll. One of his favorite things to do is walk around nature with his family. Would enjoy taking his sons on long walks, carrying one of them on his shoulders, and talking about life. You two are holding his hand all the time, and the short man was rubbing his thumb over your soft hand. You only let go of Adam’s fingers when you wanted to see something up much closer, like the little birds perching on the branches to get closer to Adam and lean towards you or pretty butterflies. You slightly laugh blissfully with your cheerful voice expanding on the environment, which made the scenery most charming.
愛. His voice is absolutely beautiful. He’s amazing at telling stories to keep you entertained. Whether they really happened or not, Adam has plenty of stories to share. He’s spent plenty of time on his own and he’s needed ways to occupy himself. He also likes when you make flower crowns for him and watching you gently weave them into his hair before running your nails down his neck and shoulders. Abel loves to make you flower crowns. He will find your favorite flower and he will sit there for hours trying to make you the best possible flower crown he can come up with. Cain will act like he doesn’t care at first, but quickly practically demands that his brother teach him so he can do it for you too. This two are adorables! One downside though is that they will want to bring home the bugs and little animals they find. But once a time they brought home a skunk.
愛. Adam really enjoys it when you lays on top of him or lays with their head resting on his chest. Your head laying on his chest, and with his arms around your waist, head snuggled up against his chest his hands intertwined with yours. When he’s on your breasts it’s always super comfy for him and being able to hear your heartbeats. He also likes getting to hear it speed up every time his fingers brush against your sides and the small of your back. Adam loves hugging you from behind no matter the height difference, he just enjoys holding you close to you. Adam is a perfect cuddler. He’s strong, warm, and all-encompassing. Adam can kill for you. He doesn't need a reason to protect you and he will always love you. You definitely don’t have to worry about someone getting hurt because he’ll always protect you and your beautiful smile.
#shuumatsu no valkyrie#record of ragnarok#snv adam#Adam#snv adam x reader#adam x reader#adam x you#Cain#Abel#snv x reader#snv x you#SNV HCs#fem reader#reader insert#Platonic#Fluff#aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh it’s so hard to write platonic hcs for baby koji n jack#Beau. Writes#Beau-tee
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of poison, forest floors, and terrified wizards
Summary: Out all alone on what was meant to be a simple errand, collecting herbs for Merlin, Douxie is downed when some pickpocket throws a fistful of black powder in his face - a magic surpressant and poison to wizards, he comes to find out the hard way. Unable to move or use his magic, as attempts to do both cause nothing but agony, the moppet has no choice but to rely on the slim hope of someone finding him before the poison overtakes him.
A/N: This is my first toa fic! I’ve spent the past year mostly just doing fic for witcher, so this is a nice change of pace :) I had fun with this! I thought about what would happen if there was some sort of substance in TOA that acted as a poison/magic surpressant to wizards... and ofc it turned into douxie whump (but it’s moppet!douxie which is even more painful :( ). Enjoyyy!
[CW: Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Poisoning/Sickness, Temporary Paralysis, blood mention (but no bleeding)]
---
All Douxie had been sent out to do was collect some herbs for Merlin. It wasn’t even in the uncertain ground like the Wild Wood, but a patch of forest he’d been sent to fetch ingredients from countless times. It should have been a simple enough task for the moppet, which is why he hadn’t woken Archie from his afternoon nap - which he was taking on Douxie’s bed - to have his familiar accompany him. And truly, the task itself was simple; it didn’t take Douxie very long at all to go into the woods and find a patch of the plants Merlin told him to fetch - something about a potion ingredient, the apprentice vaguely recollected.
Indeed, he found it without any trouble, but when he felt a figure speed past his back and steal away the little pouch of herbs he’d collected before speeding off into the woods, that was when the trouble started.
The rational part of him (which said exactly what he’d reckoned Archie would be telling him right now) told him just to pick more, but it was overshadowed by how downright insulting this woodland pickpocket was! Before he’d been taken in by Merlin, conning and using slight-of-hand to his advantage was one of his only means of survival, so to not only be stolen from, but in a way so lacking in cunning? The audacity!
It was the principal of the matter that sent him running after the thief, darting this way and that until he was lost in the thick of the woods, focused only on tailing the pickpocket.
“Hey! Stop!” Douxie panted, “You’re stealing from a master wizard!”
That didn’t seem to entice the thief to stop.
“Well… his apprentice, anyway!” he added for reasons unsure to even himself. Maybe honesty would help?
Well, thanks to his trusty, gangly legs, he caught up to the thief and got close enough to grab their wrist, and he thought it would be smooth sailing after that.
Yeah! Alright! I’ll just get my herbs back and deal with this thief and -
The thief turned around and threw a handful of black powder in his face.
Fuzzbuckets.
Douxie squeezed his eyes shut as soon as he felt them sting, coughing into his elbow to hack up the charcoal tasting powder that flew into his mouth and nose. That little trick stopped him in his tracks, but he wasn’t deterred. Not mentally. He still wanted to try to catch up…
...but his legs wouldn’t move.
No matter how badly he wanted - demanded his legs to obey him, they remained tense, frozen in that position of one in front of the other.
What?
One terrifying moment later, they did move. But not into the sprint he wanted to take - no, to do something worse: to buckle underneath him and send him falling onto his side against the forest floor.
And he couldn’t get up.
No matter how much he willed his body to do it, he couldn’t get up.
It was like when he’d have nightmares and he’d realize he was having a nightmare; it took forcing his body to toss and turn and shift from side to side as much as he could to rouse him back to the realm of the fully conscious.
But he couldn’t even do that. He couldn’t rouse himself from this nightmare because he couldn’t push himself up.
Wait.
No.
He couldn’t move.
Nearing complete panic, he internally begged and pleaded to find some sort of mobility, but his limbs grew numb by the second, and wherever he still had feeling, it ached - utterly, reprehensibly ached. Not only that, but it was cold. So, so cold, despite the warm atmosphere of the summer afternoon that hung around him so tauntingly.
He’d never felt more scared in his life. Not even being threatened at swordpoint by Sir Galahad and his men, knowing that he’d be killed for something like a measly alley trick, was as terrifying as this - not even that made his blood run cold (literally, it felt like, as well as figuratively) like this did.
And he was sure that was clear to the thief he’d tried to catch. They stood over him, and he couldn’t see their face from where his head lay on the ground, cheek against the grass, but with his glassy, wide eyes flickering between straining to look at his poisoner - because that’s what this was, a poison - and darting around wherever they could look without him moving his head - because he couldn’t even do that - as black strands of hair lay loose on his cheek because he couldn’t lift a hand to move them, he was sure looked every bit as terrified as he felt.
The thief laughed. Laughed.
“A master wizard’s apprentice, eh?” they spoke, their voice dripping with mock fascination that made Douxie wish that someone, anyone would come to help him, “And your great master never told you to pick your battles? He must not have, if you felt so inclined as to chase me all through the woods for a plant you could have just picked a little more of. It was right in front of you, after all.”
The realization which dawned on Douxie would have made his blood run cold if it didn’t feel like it already was. They’d pickpocketed him because they counted on him pursuing them, even to the point of ending up in the thick of the woods, far away from where Merlin or Archie expected him to be - far away from where they’d know to look for him.
Douxie finally tried to shout for help, but his throat was just as tense - as frozen as the rest of his muscles, and his jaw was too tight to open as much as he’d need to scream. All he could do was gasp and force shuddering breaths in and out of his lungs, which was still a trying ordeal - too trying for something like breathing to have been.
“Trying to scream? Really?” the poisoner-thief asked as if it was an absurd thing to do in the moppet’s position (which it wasn’t), “Next thing you know, you’ll try mustering a spell.”
Against his better judgement, for trying a spell couldn’t have been a good idea if his own assailant was suggesting it, he tried to force a little magic to his fingertips.
It burned. Oh, sweet heart of Avalon, it burned. His hand hadn’t even hurt this badly after he’d botched a lightning spell and scarred his wrist in the process.
Douxie wheezed at the sensation, and the thief laughed again.
“Oh, this is rich!” they exclaimed, “this has already paralyzed you hand and foot, and you thought some conjuring would help? What do you think this was made to diminish, Apprentice of Ambrosius?
Douxie couldn’t even think of a swear worthy of this (“fuzzbuckets” was too tame), his mind still flooded with fear and his hand still aching from his botched magic attempt. How had they already known he was Merlin’s apprentice? Sure, he’d mentioned being an apprentice to a master wizard, but he wasn’t that specific.
But he wasn’t worried about that as much as what this implied about his magic, and what this - whatever it had been - was doing to it.
“This,” His assailant bent down and held up their fingertips to his face, showing him the black powder on them. “Seeps away your magic. Or poisons it, or diminishes it, or eats away at it - I’m not a poet, and apt synonyms aren’t my strong suit.”
They stood back up all the way, and Douxie wanted to plead, but the words wouldn’t come out. They wouldn’t even form. This - he couldn’t lose his magic. Not on something as measly as an herb collection.
“All of this-”
They gestured to his paralyzed, twitching form.
“Is just a side effect. A byproduct of attacking your magic.”
Douxie tried curling his hand into a fist. Not only were his muscles so weak that he could only curl his fingers for a second in what looked more like a spasm than a conscious movement, but grabbing the wrong end of a knife would have hurt less.
The powder-tosser winced mock-sympathetically.
“Shame, really. I hoped the master wizard you served could be the one to deal with this.”
For a moment, in his agony, he wished he was. Douxie squandered the thought as quickly as it came up, hating himself for conceiving it. He couldn’t wish this on anyone, least of all the wizard who saved him, who plucked him off the streets.
But why couldn’t he save him now?
“Ah, well.” They reached down to Douxie’s face and put a strand of hair behind his ear.
Douxie wanted to cry.
“S’pose you’ll do. It’ll be a kick in the teeth for him anyway, when you don’t come back from your little errand after hours and hours, and by the time they send out a search party…”
The smugness and certainty in their tone made Douxie whimper, the first vocal noise he’d been able to make in all of this, after naught but wheezing and gasping. Where was he going to get dragged off to? The Wild Wood? Were they in league with trolls, hoping to get an edge on King Arthur? Or were they a bandit, hoping to take all his goods off of him (which weren’t much, unless they counted the black cat fur on his vest) and keep him in some rackety shack until a ransom note made its way to Merlin?
(Would he even pay it, considering Douxie’s incompetence?)
“Well, they’ll find you right here, I’m sure, but…”
Douxie could hear them mock-wince again, and their implication was worse than anything he’d assumed in the moments before. He couldn’t hear the rest of their sentence over his own panic that, combined with the poison, made his head swim.
He wasn’t going to be taken anywhere.
He was going to be left here, to - to - to -
His panic pushed him to try his magic again on impulse alone, and it felt like both his hands were on fire. His throat, as tight as it was, finally let him groan through his teeth.
“An exercise in futility, little wizard.” his attacker taunted, “In fact…”
They took his bracelet - only three fingers wide at this point in his training - right off his wrist, which made him squeak as he tried, tried, tried to shake his head, and threw it into a bush in what was both further assurance of his powerlessness and an insult to injury.
“I would say you should try to get comfortable…”
They stood up and took a few steps back, leaving the little field of vision Douxie had from where his head lay on the ground.
“...But I suppose that would be another exercise in futility.”
He heard the poisoner-thief run off, their footfalls fading as the pounding of his racing heart, which drummed against his ears in sync with their steps, drowned out the noise until they were out of earshot.
He was alone.
He couldn’t move, some poison was seeping away his magic - his very lifeforce - and tensed his body up so rigidly that he couldn’t even scream, and he was alone.
If he could’ve, he would have curled up into a ball as small as he could make himself in hopes that the dangers of the woods and the dire circumstances of his situation would pass him by.
If he could’ve, he would have screamed, even though he knew he was far away from the earshot of anyone who might have come looking for him by that patch of herbs where he said he’d go, and he knew that Archie, who could have tracked his scent here, was still sleeping because, in his arrogance, he hadn’t thought to wake him.
If he could’ve, he would have dragged himself to his gauntlet, wherever it had been thrown, because even if it wouldn’t have done anything to get him out of this, at least he wouldn’t have felt so helpless, even though helpless was exactly what he was.
But he couldn’t.
All he could do was squeeze his eyes shut and feel his tears run down the bridge of his nose as his lips contorted into a grimace, the only two things he could do with his body where the movement itself didn’t outweigh how badly he wanted - needed to do it.
All he could hope for, against hope itself, was that he’d be found here.
Before all that could be found was his body.
---
He wished he could just sleep.
The grassy ground underneath him was soft enough, and his position on his side could have been comfortable enough. Maybe it would have helped pass the time until the poison ran its course, whatever that entailed.
But whatever this was, it didn’t even grant him that luxury. Whether it was an effect of the poison or a product of his own adrenaline and terror, Douxie was wide awake.
Not only that, but after what might have been an hour or two (judging by the sunlight’s reflection off the dewey grass), his body would periodically twitch because of the poison. Sometimes his leg would kick out like a dog, or his shoulder would seize up to the point where it touched his ear, or his hand would ball into a fist.
But his poisoned body didn’t care which of his movements were voluntary or otherwise - it stung all the same. Not like the horrific burning that came with his attempts at magic, but a grating, awful ache right down to his bones. The spontaneous twitches never let him even come close to unconsciousness, and maybe that was a good thing - every breath was more or less of a laborious gasp, a conscious effort of his, and if he’d lost consciousness and stopped forcing them in and out of his lungs… he didn’t want to imagine it.
He wished his panic would quiet enough for him to get bored laying here - he would have preferred it to this, and it would have made sense, considering that he was stuck staring at the same blades of grass and patch of trees that he’d been staring at for the past hour.
And they weren’t even particularly interesting trees or blades of grass, not that they would have distracted him very well if they were.
He wondered if anyone had started looking for him by now. Maybe Merlin was growing impatient without the ingredients he asked for, and maybe Morgana had started to wonder why “Little Douxie” hadn’t come back to the castle.
He wondered if Archie had woken up from his nap and noticed Douxie’s absence yet. If anyone could insist that someone go out and search for him, it would be his familiar. He didn’t want to delude himself by thinking it would help though.
He wondered the importance of those herbs he was collecting before. Were they really that important to whatever Merlin had been working on? Were they worth chasing that thief down? Were they worth all of this?
He was pulled from his thoughts when a shadow cast over the grass he’d been staring at - the shadow of a creature flying overhead and hovering above him.
If he could’ve curled into himself, just to look as small as possible, he would have. What if it was a vulture, waiting to scavenge him? What if it was a monster, or a winged troll, here to carry him off to some trollish nest in the Wild Wood? None of the thoughts that came to mind were soothing by any means. As the creature swooped down, all Douxie could do was squeeze his eyes shut and hope he wouldn’t be harmed any further.
Even when the figure landed in front of him and stepped closer and closer, he didn’t look at it. It wasn’t until he could feel it’s breath on his face, one of the only sensations of the past few hours that didn’t hurt, that he opened his eyes.
A face of black fur greeted him.
And yellow eyes.
And a round pair of glasses.
Archie!
He couldn’t even say the word, but a sob escaped his throat - a sob of relief? A sob of terror that this might have been the start of an onslaught of hallucinations, the first of which being a sign of rescue? He wasn’t sure. Either way, all he wanted to do was reach up and pet the cat-dragon familiar, or hug him and not let go, but he couldn’t. His arm felt like it weighed half a ton, just like the rest of his limbs.
So, he sobbed. It was all he could do.
“Douxie!” Archie cried.
Merlin’s apprentice could hear the worry in his voice as he stepped back a few paces, his ears back and his wings to his side. Of course, he’d shifted into his dragon form - he must have been able to track Douxie’s scent like that. But Douxie hated the thought of his familiar being in danger because he’d flown here. He was already suspicious enough as a black cat, since they carried the notion of being bad omens. What if he’d gotten taken down? He wasn’t worth that!
Douxie was too relieved - yes, he chose relief, not terror, because that’s all he could afford - to think about all of that though.
“Douxie, I’ve been looking for you! What’s happened to you?” Archie asked, “Merlin expected you back hours ago!”
The first thing that came to mind, despite everything, was an apology for his absence - an apology he couldn’t even say. He couldn’t even say what happened to him, not like -
A spasm cut off from his speeding, scrambled thoughts - a large one in his left arm (his right was still mostly underneath him) that reached all the way from his fingertips to his shoulderblade, forcing his hand to ball into a fist, his arm to fold so tightly that his fist touched his shoulder, and his shoulder to tighten so much that his shoulder pressed to his ear.
The sound of agony ripped from his throat was the closest to a scream he’d gotten yet.
Archie looked horrified, and Douxie could only imagine what the sight of him was like - black strands loose from his bun strewn over his face, his eyes puffy and tear-ringed, his lips contorted in a pained grimace. He imagined he looked as pitiful and helpless as he felt.
(In fact, he didn’t have to imagine it. He could faintly see his reflection in the lenses of Archie’s glasses, and he was right in what he pictured, save for the addition of smudges and speckles of that powder still on his face, the black splotches of dust contrasting his color-drained skin, pale as death.)
His arm relaxed again after a few agonizing moments, letting his hand fall in front of his face and leaving a throbbing ache down to his bones, and Douxie tried to collect himself. He had to tell Archie what was wrong. He had to try. If Archie knew, he could fix it. He could get Merlin to fix it. Right? Right.
“P-” he started, trying his absolute best to form words despite the constriction in his throat and lungs that barely let him breathe at all, “puh- poi-”
His own wheezing cough cut him off.
“Poison?” Archie asked, getting it right much to the little relief that Douxie could manage. He nodded - at least, as close to the motion as he could accomplish - and tried to hum a “mhm” of affirmation, since trying to talk hadn’t exactly worked. Far from it.
Archie stepped forward and sniffed his face. He immediately recoiled, his big eyes widening, and Douxie was proven wrong for thinking he couldn’t be more terrified.
“Oh, dear.” His eyes glanced to what must have been a few more clumps and speckles of dust on the ground, “Ohhh, not good. Not good at all.”
No. Archie couldn’t be scared. If Archie was scared for him, then this was so, so much worse than he thought. How could it possibly be worse?
Douxie squeaked out a whimper in fear, and Archie’s attention snapped back to him (as if it could have been anywhere else).
“Douxie, don’t worry.” he said, “You’ll be alright.”
Archie was never a good liar, much to Douxie’s dismay. If Archie was going to hide the truth to soothe him, he at least would’ve liked it to work. His immediately telling Douxie not to worry had the opposite effect of what was intended; it showed him his worry - his terror - was entirely warranted, which was the exact thing he didn’t want to know. Even if all he said was “You’ll be alright.”, the fear that seemed to bristle through his fur was indication enough of the contrary.
Archie’s eyebrows, indicated by the grey patches in the fur above his eyes, upturned as if in dread.
“...But I need to go.”
NO!
If Douxie could have screamed the word and reached out to hold Archie, he would have done it right at that moment, but all he could do was whine like a kicked puppy, his eyebrows raising as his head shook - an unconscious movement, minute despite his desperation.
“Douxie, Douxie, listen.” Archie said, softening his voice, “I can’t carry you back to the castle. I wouldn't be able to fly carrying you anyway, but especially not with your-”
Archie got cut off by another one of Douxie’s spasms - this one made his left leg curl up so tight that his thigh touched his torso, causing the apprentice to nearly involuntarily hit Archie with his knee, which the cat-dragon barely dodged.
“-that." Archie said, "Not with that.”
Douxie saw the sense in that, despite his panic. He did, he did, he did.
But -
He sobbed again.
-But he didn’t want to be alone.
Sweet heart of Avalon, he didn’t want to be alone.
The worst of his pain and terror wasn’t from the paralysis, or the aching, or the random twitches, or the burning that came from trying to use his magic, or even the tightness in his throat and lungs that robbed him of speaking or even screaming; it came from being alone in this - from wondering if anyone would come for him, or find his body; it came from knowing that there was nothing he could do but lay there, at the mercy of nature, the poison wracking his body with every beat of his heart, and the determination (or lack thereof) of someone else to find him.
And when he opened his eyes to find Archie there, all of that went away - all of that fear that told him he’d die alone here. He didn’t want it to come back. He would’ve rather the poison take him right now.
“I just need to go back to the castle and bring Merlin here. He’ll know what to do.”
Archie put his paw in Douxie’s limp, open palm. All Douxie wanted to do was hold it, and he so desperately hoped the next twitch would be in his hand so he could.
“I won’t be long. I promise.”
But what if it was too long, even if he hurried?
What if Merlin was too late, even if he hurried?
What if it took too long to convince his master to come here? Would the fact that he’d been poisoned and needed help be enough, or would Merlin refuse because it served Douxie right for his insolence?
(No, no, he wouldn’t do that. Merlin said that mastery over magic was mastery over life, and he had to learn how to live. He couldn’t learn to live if he died here in the woods.)
What if…
What if this killed him before Archie came back?
...No.
It wasn’t the same this time. Douxie wasn’t lost here, hoping against hope that someone would find him. This was hope - someone knew where he was, and help would come. He could handle a little bit more fear for that hope, he knew.
So, fighting the grating, awful ache in his bones, Douxie closed his hand around Archie’s paw and put on as brave a face he found himself able to muster, nodding as much as he could while causing as little pain to himself as possible.
He didn’t trust much in this - not even his own body to keep fighting the poison - but he trusted Archie, and he trusted his promise.
His familiar gently pulled his paw away before slipping it under the side of Douxie’s head, lifting it a little off the ground. The little apprentice was confused for a moment, until Archie reached behind Douxie’s head with his mouth. He could hear the sounds of the woods stifle as fabric came over his ears, warding off the now-coolness of the woodsy air around his head as Archie pulled the hood of his vest over his head and gingerly laid it back down.
Ah, he got it now - it was a little comfort, a little shelter from the world.
And of course he took it, hoping his eyes conveyed his gratitude.
He kept up his brave front as Archie turned away from him, something Douxie could tell he’d done reluctantly, and flew off. It wasn’t until he couldn’t see his familiar anymore - until the sight of the cat-dragon vanished behind the treetops - that he let it fall and shatter.
He just had to keep waiting. That’s all he had to do - wait and trust Archie to come back with Merlin. He knew that.
But he could still feel new tears come down his face.
---
Douxie wished he could see the sunset from where he lay. It would have been beautiful, he knew.
The spasms subsided a little while after Archie flew back, leaving Douxie limp on the ground - still unable to move without hurting himself or try to use his magic without thrusting himself into agony - with a lingering pins-and-needles sensation in his hands and feet that felt like it was crawling up from his ankles and wrists.
(Honestly, Douxie still wasn’t sure if the spasms had truly subsided for good, or if this was just a rather long interval between them. He hoped it was the former. The spasms never hurt any less as they went on, and he was so, so tired of the pain.)
Archie still hadn’t come back with Merlin yet, obviously, and at this point, it seemed like Douxie was fighting off his doubt more than the poison. At least he knew what the poison was doing to him - he could feel it every waking moment. But Archie… Douxie didn’t know what had happened to him, and he wouldn’t unless he came back.
(No, until he came back. Douxie had to keep that certainty alive in his mind.)
But how was he supposed to know that his familiar hadn’t taken a tumble? That he hadn’t been brought down by some witch hunter’s net? What if Merlin was being stubborn about coming for him? What if he’d been busy in another row with King Arthur?
...Indeed, he would have loved to see the sunset - to at least try to let it distract him from the tornado of worst case scenarios in his mind.
But he couldn’t.
For a bit, he tried distracting himself by thinking about how Merlin might’ve reacted to him being in danger - to hearing that he’d been poisoned. He sort of liked imagining how scared he’d be, for he preferred fear to indifference. The mental image of his master dropping whatever book he’d been flipping through and rushing to follow Archie… it was a comforting one, as strange as it might sound. That fear meant he mattered.
But Douxie soon grew tired even of that. He hoped he might’ve ran into a patch frequented by fireflies. Those would at least come low enough to dip into his line of sight, and they were always so beautiful, like stars visiting earth for a night before going back to the sky…
Douxie grew cold again at some point. Not just cold, but damp. Since it hadn’t started raining, fortunately, he rightly assumed that it was sweat. Perhaps he was finally sweating this out, like a fever, but that was too good, too fortunate to figure. This was another progression of the poison, he was sure. Just like…
Douxie noticed something in his left hand that lay in front of his face, something wrong…
Oh, sweet heart of Avalon.
His veins were black.
Hoping, begging, praying to be wrong, he pushed through that dreadful ache in his arm so he could pull it closer, but it only confirmed his suspicions - his dread - his terrors.
The veins in his wrist, in the creases of his knuckles - they weren’t deep blue anymore, just barely visible underneath his skin, but as black as that powder that got blown in his face. Ink could be coursing through them right now, and he’d have been none the wiser.
In that moment, Douxie was proven wrong once again for thinking he couldn’t be more terrified.
He gasped as much as his throat and lungs let him, and he didn’t stop gasping. But then his chest -
No no NO!
-his chest started to seize up.
He fought the growing tightness in his chest with every breath, forcing each one in and out like a wheeze, but it wouldn’t go away. He couldn’t tell if it was from poison or panic, but it wouldn’t go away. He’d even started coughing, which was inevitable, but the black splotch that splattered into his hand terrified him all the more.
This was it. He was going to die here. He was going to succumb to this. He’d never come back to the castle - to Archie, to Morgana, to Merlin - from a trivial herb picking. Archie would come back here, but all he’d find was - was - was -
“HISIRDOUX!”
Douxie burst into tears.
He could recognize the voice of his master - his father - anywhere, but he was so, so scared that it was a hallucination. The fear in his voice already sounded so foreign, coming from the great and powerful Merlin Ambrosius, and if the sound of his voice and his footsteps coming near him came only from his desperate imagination, then he’d - he’d -
A hand gripped his shoulder and turned him onto his back. Finally, he could look up at the sky, aglow with sunset, but his glassy eyes only saw Merlin kneeling down at his side, and Archie flying above him.
The terror in Merlin’s eyes was the exact opposite of comforting, but Douxie didn’t get to see it for long before Merlin conjured a damp cloth and wiped off his face what had to have been the rest of that poisonous powder. He hadn’t realized how flushed he’d been until that moment, when that rag felt so cold against his cheeks.
Merlin finished wiping off Douxie’s face and made the cloth disappear. Douxie missed the coolness on his face. He wanted it back.
“Hisirdoux, say something!” he demanded. But Douxie couldn’t - didn’t Merlin think he would’ve already been screaming his lungs out if he could?
“D-” he choked, “Da-”
He hacked up another throatful of black phlegm, whimpering as the violence of his cough made his torso curl up. Merlin dodged the cough, but put an arm under Douxie’s back before he could fall back.
An apology lay at the back of his throat - one he didn’t know the reason for, even if he could’ve said it.
Merlin brought his other arm behind Douxie’s knees and lifted him like he weighed nothing (and he probably didn’t weigh much to Merlin, being the gangly moppet he was). The edges of the plating of the master wizard’s armor dug against him uncomfortably, but it was the least discomforting thing about this, overshadowed near-completely by the comfort that came just by being held. But he was still scared - if more of that powder was on him, and Merlin touched it by holding him, then -
He stifled a cough, and his leg kicked out unconsciously like a thumping rabbit’s foot. He didn’t realize how badly he’d been tremoring until it was contrasted with the steadiness of Merlin holding him.
Yes… steadiness, safety - two things he’d wanted to cling to more than anything since all this had started. And now, he had them. He had his familiar, and he had his father.
His head, still covered with the hood of his vest, lolled back uncomfortably without any support, but he felt something soft push against the back of it- it was actually Archie, though Douxie couldn’t see it - until the side of his head lay against one of the shoulderpieces of Merlin’s armor, cushioned by the cloth of his hood.
He sighed as much as his tightened chest would allow.
He was so scared.
Douxie was still so, so terrified that Merlin couldn’t save him after all; that he’d die tonight; that he’d never use his magic again; that he’d never get to become a master wizard or get his own staff to wield; that he’d never again get to go back down to the marketplace and talk to that pretty girl who frequented the shops.
(What was her name? Zelda? Zona? Zola? Zo-)
He felt something warm settle on his abdomen - Archie had turned back into a cat and curled up on his tummy, purring as he nestled where Douxie’s legs curled.
At least, despite everything else he feared, he didn’t have to be terrified of being alone anymore.
---
Douxie wasn’t sure if Merlin used a portal, or the relief of being found by his master had finally let him lull out of consciousness for the length of the time it took to be carried back, but the next thing he knew, he was in Merlin’s study. Despite the fluttering of his eyelids, he could recognize the shelves, the desk, and the stained glass window letting in the last light of day.
Home.
He was home.
No matter what happened next, he was home.
“Douxie!” He could hear Morgana’s voice shouting his name in worry, followed immediately by her fast-approaching footsteps.
“Mmh…” Douxie whimpered. It wasn’t clear whether or not the noise was just a pained whine or an attempt to try saying her name - not even to Douxie himself. He couldn’t see her very well, but he could tell when she’d come to them, stepping to the side as Merlin walked forward to his desk.
“Is he alive?” she asked.
“Somehow, yes.” Merlin answered. Douxie hated that “somehow” and the fear it brought, but it was just a little more to add to the onslaught of the past hours. He could just add it to the pile, he supposed.
In the middle of the room, Merlin’s big desk was empty, so the wizard laid him down on the surface, having him lay flat on his back with his hands at his sides, his legs straightened out, and his head facing up. Now, he could fully see Morgana, the sorceress he’d come to see as something of a big sister just as he came to see Merlin as a father, looking down at him. Her face was upside-down from where she stood over him, but he could still see her upturned brows and glistening eyes, and the way she clasped her hands close to her chest so they didn’t even touch him. He hated that look of worry on her face. Seeing Morgana - always fearless, always grasping for more from the world than what others had permitted, always steadfast in her ruthless ambition - look so scared for him…
...It was worse, if such a thing was possible, than when he saw how scared Merlin was for him, and there was so much he wanted to say, but he was still just focused on trying to breathe as deeply as he could.
Archie got off his abdomen and sat next to his head, gently headbutting his temple before putting a paw on his forehead. It was a little comforting, almost enough to distract Douxie from realizing that Merlin wasn’t at his side anymore.
Almost, though. Not enough.
Douxie tried turning his head to the side, but Archie gently kept it still with his paw.
“He’s just finding a spellbook, Douxie.” he assured, immediately knowing what the apprentice was trying to turn his head for, “He’ll be right back.”
Morgana looked down on the little scene and closed her eyes for a moment, as if to quell her tears, before opening them again.
“You shouldn’t have held him.” she warned, turning her head to wherever Merlin stood now, “You know what that can-”
“I’m well aware.” Merlin interrupted from wherever he still was, “And you know I’ve little concern for that.”
Douxie didn’t understand. There was still so little he understood about whatever was doing this to him, and he didn’t know how to ask about it - he couldn’t.
But apparently, his upturned brows and whimpers of confusion were enough to indicate - at least to Archie - how lost he was.
“Douxie, that powder - it’s called Draining Dust.” Archie explained, “It’s a magic suppressant, and… a poison, as you know by now.”
“Witch hunters would put this in shackles.” Morgana said, finally speaking to him, “To nullify wizards’ and witches’ magic on their way to the gallows. Or the stakes.”
“Trace amounts, yes.” Merlin came back into his view, an open spellbook floating near him with a signature green aura around it, “Pinches of it, cast in the metal. It would suppress the wearer’s magic as long as it was on their body, with a few side effects. Fatigue, headaches, nausea…” he started listing as he flipped through the pages.
Douxie remembered the handful of the stuff that had been thrown in his face. That was far from a few pinches. And those side effects he’d started listing - they sounded tame, menial compared to what was happening to him now.
“But direct contact with raw powder…” Archie started. Douxie knew he was hesitant to finish that sentence, and it wasn’t hard to assume why (but it was terrifying).
“It’s deadly.” Morgana said, “Few wizards have ever survived inhaling or digesting it. More sadistic witchfinders have used that to-”
“Morgana!” Merlin snapped, urging her to leave off. But she didn’t.
“He should know!” she snapped back, “It’s already in his bloodstream, old man. It’s killing him, and he deserves to-”
Douxie started crying again at Morgana’s brutal honesty, as if this all weren’t brutal enough. His eyes squeezed shut as tears streamed down his temples, but when he opened them again, it was darker, like he was looking through a veil. The sight made him want to cry even harder.
It was in his tears.
Oh, sweet heart of Avalon, the poison was in his tears.
It made sense now, why Morgana was so scared to touch him. His own body fluids - his blood, his tears, probably his sweat soon enough - were turning poisonous from this. The only reason Archie was still touching him was probably because he wasn’t a wizard, but a familiar, and this wouldn’t affect him so badly.
(It actually very well could have affected Archie for the worse, but watching Douxie endure this without any comfort would have been worse than any poison.)
“It’s not killing him.” Merlin denied as if he was trying to convince both Morgana and himself, “His death is not certain. If it were, I would have already placed a sleeping spell on him by now.”
Douxie clung to that little hope and tried to watch Merlin scan for the spell he’d been looking for. Merlin had a way to fix this, of course he did; it’s as he said - he would have already put Douxie to sleep to grant him some peace if he didn’t.
Douxie watched his master’s page flipping stall as his eyes scanned over one particular page. His face fell - a minute, near-unnoticeable change in expression, but one that made Douxie’s pounding heart sink.
“Merlin?” Archie asked, “Have you found something?”
Merlin said nothing at first, only taking his place by stepping right to the table’s edge, coming right to Douxie’s side.
“I’ve found a spell to expel the poison and it’s remnants,” he explained, still only scanning the book, “But purging it from his body when it’s progressed this far will be…”
His eyes fell on Douxie’s.
“...quite excruciating.”
But Douxie was already so, so tired.
Not physically - the combined force of the poison and his own adrenaline warded off any chance of fatigue - but in his heart. He was so tired of being scared. Of being in so much pain. He didn’t want to do it - he didn’t think he could…
...But he remembered something Merlin said to him before.
“If there is a universal truth in this world, it is that struggle is the flame which forges one’s soul into steel.”
Well, if there was something tougher than steel, that’s what his soul would become.
Because wizards were strong. Brave. Unrelenting to pain or fear. That’s how Merlin was, that’s how Morgana was, and that’s how he would be.
He put on a brave face - as brave as he could possibly muster in the face of what he’d endure - and nodded. He could do this. He had to do this.
And he would.
The green aura around the spellbook faded as Merlin set it down. Archie lifted his paw from Douxie’s head and stepped back a few paces.
“Morgana, keep him still.” Merlin said, “His thrashing may cause him to injure himself.”
Morgana nodded and brought her hands up, an unsaid apology in her eyes. Seconds later, Douxie felt warm, gentle heat around his wrists and ankles. It didn’t hurt, but it was unrelenting. He didn’t test the bonds, lacking the strength or any actual will to do so. Still under a sort of paralysis, he wasn’t scared of being pinned down, for he knew it was just a precaution; he was just scared of how bad the pain would be in order for restraining him like this to be necessary.
The precaution was far from unwarranted, he came to realize in the coming moments.
Merlin hovered one hand over Douxie’s chest and the other over his abdomen. Douxie watched him say some incantation, but he didn’t catch the words. He was too busy bracing himself for the pain as he saw the green aura of his master’s magic out of the corner of his eye, glowing above his torso.
Before Merlin even got to take a breath after the incantation, the pain started.
And no amount of bracing could have prepared Douxie enough.
The sudden agony in his torso ripped the breath from his lungs. He thought - hoped it would start small and get worse and worse, like a simmer that got hotter and hotter, but instead it was like a pot of scalding water got poured over his chest. No, even that would have hurt less. This… it started at the surface, but it bled deeper and deeper under his skin, and then -
Oh, sweet heart of Avalon.
-then it started to spread.
In moments, as if searing agony itself coursed through his veins, there was nowhere on his body that didn’t burn, not even his fingertips or the tip of his pinky toes. If he could feel it, it hurt, and it hurt unlike anything he’d ever felt before.
As the agony overrode his paralysis, he thrashed against Morgana’s magic that kept his wrists and ankles in place, arching his back one moment and curling forward the next.
It hurt to breathe. It hurt to try to open his eyes. It hurt to keep them squeezed shut. It hurt to try to hear the voices of those around him - Morgana trying to tell him to be strong, Archie trying to soothe him, Merlin repeating the incantation. It hurt even to think - the pain, blinding and deafening, flooded out all other thoughts.
For a moment, like a fire burning so hot it feels cold for a fleeting beat, he stopped feeling the searing, searing agony.
But the moment was too, too fleeting before it wracked him again.
Finally, finally, he screamed.
It was a raw, shrill, agonized thing. He felt it come up from the base of his throat, and when Douxie realized, through his hysteria, that he was actually screaming, not wheezing or whimpering or anything he’d had to settle for tonight, he couldn’t stop. He screamed for all the torture of the day, all the fear of being alone, all the panic and terror and despair that he couldn’t let out in the woods, tense and spasming and paralyzed.
All the screams that couldn’t come out before, when his throat was so tight that it barely let him breathe, came out right now, bursting at the seams of his pain-delirious mind.
He didn’t stop screaming until he finally felt Merlin’s magic let off.
Even then, his screams settled only into groans and wails until the burning across his body finally cooled; until the pain weakened from a searing sensation all over him, like the most brazen of fires, to a low ache, like the embers of a dying camp flame.
Once he fully stilled, which took a few more moments, Morgana’s magic came off his wrists and ankles.
Finally, he came back to his senses and see Merlin, Morgana, and Archie still around him. Archie looked relieved and nuzzled the side of Douxie’s head. Morgana smiled a shaky, hesitant smile - still so foreign to see from her.
And Merlin…
Well, he seemed as difficult to read as usual, but at least he no longer had the expression on his face of a man watching his apprentice die. Traces of relief lay there, and Douxie gladly took them.
So… was it over?
Douxie groaned and lifted his arm. It didn’t hurt to do anymore - well, it did, but more like a soreness left in the wake of heavy lifting, a residue of what happened than a symptom of it. He brought it up to his face so he could see his wrist.
His veins were blue again.
Sighing, he let his hand fall on his face and wiped away some tears - lifting it to see they were purely clear, like before - before letting it slide off his cheek and fall limp next to his head.
“Master…” his voice was so little, so hoarse, “‘s it gone?”
“Every bit, Hisirdoux.” Merlin said, putting his hand on Douxie’s shoulder, “It's over.”
He sounded weary. Douxie hoped that spell didn't take too much from him.
“Mm… my magic… 's it gone too?”
Merlin’s eyes said he wasn’t sure himself.
Douxie sought to answer the question on his own and willed forth his magic. He felt his fingertips thrum with the life of his sorcery. Lifting his hand again, he saw little specks of light, blue and true. It didn’t burn anymore, but it felt warm and gentle, like a heartbeat. His heartbeat. Exactly as it always felt.
He sighed. Not shaky, not fighting to keep his breathing level - a tired, relieved sigh. Despite how sore even the muscles in his face felt, he smiled a little smile.
“Thank you…” he said, “If you all hadn’t… I’d be-”
Merlin moved his hand from Douxie’s shoulder to his forehead.
“Don’t pay that scenario any mind, Hisirdoux.” Merlin urged, “You’ve survived, and although you and your magic have been weakened, both will fully recover.”
Douxie’s little smile fell.
“Wha… what about the poison? It couldn’t just be gone.”
“That it can.” Merlin assured, taking his hand off Douxie’s head, “As brutal as it is to the wizard affected, an unaffected wizard with strong magic can eradicate it from their body and return it to it’s untarnished condition.”
...Well, that was that, and Douxie wouldn’t question it. Besides, he remembered something.
“Mmmy bracelet… I lost it. That - they took it off. It’s in a bush out there.”
“I can see that. That’s alright.” Merlin said, “It can be retrieved.”
“And… and I'm sorry.” He said to Merlin’s subtle but obvious surprise, indicated by a little raise in his eyebrows.
“What for?”
“I… the herbs.” he answered, “I couldn’t bring them back. They got stolen.”
“It’s alright,” Merlin said, “They aren’t a rarity, you know.”
...Douxie sniffled.
“That… they only snatched those plants so I’d follow them deeper into the woods. So I’d get lost. So they could throw that dust in my face and - and leave me there, knowing I’d gone further into the forest than… than anyone would’ve looked, and I wouldn’t be found.”
“But you were found, Douxie.” Archie said, “They weren’t counting on you having a dragon that could track scents for a familiar.”
Douxie’s voice started to break.
“I should have left it alone - I knew I should have left it alone. There was more right there, I should’ve-”
“Hisirdoux, cease this.” Merlin said in a tone that left no room for insistence, “You must grant yourself some relief in you and your magic’s survival. I won’t have you fret over something as menial as a handful of herbs, so-”
“But Master-”
“-Don’t “But Master” me.”
Douxie sighed. That statement didn’t leave any room for argument. It never did.
Finally, a little normalcy tonight.
Morgana put her hands to the sides of Douxie’s head. After she’d been so scared to touch him this whole time, the feeling of her fingers against his temples, brushing his hair away from his face, was a final, true assurance that the poison had been well and truly purged.
“Sleep, Little Douxie.” she soothed, “I promise you’ll wake.”
He couldn’t tell if she cast a sleep spell in that moment, or if this was from his own fatigue, but he obeyed without hesitance as he was finally lulled away from the realm of the conscious and fell into slumber.
---
Merlin looked down at the boy lying asleep on his desk, the color slowly trickling back into his face as his chest rose and fell in deep, steady breaths.
“He’s a brave little moppet.” Morgana said as she kept her fingers against the sides of his head, her voice hushed despite the fact that the boy’s exhaustion had lulled him into a deep slumber, and he’d sleep like a stone until morning no matter what.
“...No, he’s not.” Merlin denied, “Not for this.”
Morgana snapped her head up.
“He’s just gone through more torment from that powder in one day than either of us have in all our lives!” Morgana she contested, “Not even you have endured effects that brutal from Draining Dust.”
“To be brave requires a choice - being faced with the ultimatum to either run and give up, or face your fight.” Merlin said, too proverbial and righteous-sounding as he stood over Douxie, “A choice was the exact thing he didn’t have in this. Perhaps if he’d been withholding something from that assailant, even with the threat of this, then it might be different. But as it is, even if he’d wanted to succumb to this before Archie had found him, his adrenaline hadn’t let him.”
“Maybe so,” Archie started, “but when I found him there in the forest, and I told him I’d have to come back with help, he was terrified of being left alone again. I could tell. But he put on as brave a face he could have. He chose that for himself, at least.”
“He did the same thing moments ago, when you told him how much that spell would hurt.” Morgana added, “He may not have had a choice in enduring this, but he did choose to steel his nerves when faced with every reason not to, and there’s bravery in that, old man.” She crossed her arms. “Even you have to admit that.”
Merlin almost found it endearing, seeing them both try to defend his apprentice’s honor when they felt it threatened, and maybe he could’ve seen the bravery they saw, if he’d been looking at anyone else.
But as he looked down at Hisirdoux… that’s all he saw. Hisirdoux. His apprentice. His son. His gangly little moppet who tended to cause more messes than he cleaned up, but smiled like the embodiment of joy itself.
If daylight decided to make itself corporeal and walk among humans for a while, Merlin wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if it took the form of Hisirdoux Casperan.
So, the sorcerer didn’t see bravery when he found Hisirdoux writhing and gasping on the ground in those woods, he didn’t feel bravery when the boy trembled in his arms, and he most certainly didn’t hear bravery when the boy wailed and screamed his lungs out as that poison was taken out of him, black tears streaming down his face until they became clear again.
No, if Douxie had been brave, pride in that laid nowhere in Merlin’s mind.
After all, when fear for his son’s life flooded his mind, and hatred for whoever did this to him flooded out that fear, where, pray tell, could pride reside?
Morgana kept looking down at Douxie as he slept.
“How could you risk that?” she asked Merlin.
“Risk what, Morgana?” he asked, “Be specific.”
She snapped her head back up.
“You know what I’m talking about!” Morgana almost shouted, stifling her volume so the sleeping moppet wouldn’t hear, ““Eradicate” my foot, old man. I know the spell you used. You didn’t use a spell of eradication, you used a spell of transference!”
Arhcie had been staring down at his own sleeping familiar, but he snapped up when he heard that word, “transference”. First he looked to Morgana, then to Merlin.
“You told him it got destroyed, but you just - all you did was soak it up like a sponge!”
“Merlin… is that true?” Archie asked, obviously afraid that after all of this, Douxie would wake up without his mentor - his father - because he’d taken the poison for him. The little apprentice left without a master would never stop blaming himself, no matter how hard Morgana and Archie tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault.
Merlin sighed, an affirmation without words or nods.
“I spent the years since it’s conception,” he started, “building an immunity to the dust and its properties. It was too big a risk, potentially having a weakness to something so daunting - something I’d seen subdue and poison countless wizards. Too high a risk - a threat to the greater good.”
“So… the poison’s not having any affect on you?” Archie asked, stepping around Douxie to approach Merlin, “It’s not… he couldn’t have gone through all of this just to lose you.”
“And he won’t.” Merlin assured in confidence, “Much more than a handful of that powder would have had to be thrown at him to have any severe affect on me. No, this won’t need more than a night of rest to fix. Besides, what’s the good in spending all that time building up an immunity to Draining Dust if not to make use of it? A waste of time and tolerance built.”
“You couldn’t have known it wouldn’t...” Morgana said, “You couldn’t have possibly known you’d survive taking all of it like that!”
“I didn’t.” Merlin snapped.
Morgana’s eyes widened, as if everything about what the boy meant to him fell into place.
Because he hadn’t worried about his survival - the matter didn’t even cross his mind, not when he could still hear Douxie whimpering in pain with each page of that spellbook he skimmed. No, he only concerned himself with the likelihood that it would save the boy, his only worry being about how badly it would hurt Douxie when he’d already had to go through so much senseless, ludicrous torture.
Merlin always prioritized the “greater good”, some vast, staggering, intangible concept that encapsulated so much - the lives of thousands, the wellbeing of millions, the good of humanity.
But when he found his son writhing, hurting, suffocating, dying, he found he couldn’t spare any more regard to the “greater good” in that moment than he would a layer of dust on one of his books. If saving Hisirdoux’s life meant casting aside the greater good, then there was no question about it - he’d let the greater good rot.
It didn’t matter to him if his magic would’ve been permanently diminished by extracting the poison, or even if it killed him. Cast the greater good aside - the greatest good was the life in Hisirdoux’s eyes, and by all the heavens, he’d protect it.
And thankfully, he did just that tonight, at the cost of neither his life, his health, or his own magic. And that was the greatest good he could have asked for.
With another sigh, relieved that Morgana chose not to pry, Merlin looked down at the boy, still sound asleep, laid out on his desk. He put one arm under Douxie’s back and the other behind his knees, picking him up just like he did when he found him in those woods.
But this time, instead of trembling in his hold, Douxie made a little noise and unconsciously put his arm over Merlin’s shoulder, snuggling closer, if it were possible, to the master wizard.
Yes. he thought. There’s no greater good than this.
Morgana put her hands over her mouth and looked at the two of them as if the sight was something adorable, and Merlin huffed. Archie took his same spot curled up on Douxie’s abdomen.
“I’m taking him to his room.” he said, hushing his voice even though he knew the moppet wouldn’t wake, “And I’ll let him sleep in tomorrow morning. He needs to rest.”
The sun had set sometime during the painstaking ordeal, but torchlight along the walls of the castle made it easy to take his sleeping apprentice back to his room even once night has fallen. After using a simple spell to swing the door open while his arms were in use carrying the boy, Merlin walked in and used another little spell. The green aura of his magic glowed around the blanket on Douxie’s bed as he folded part of it over using his magic, providing room to lay Douxie down on his bed with head nestled right in his pillow’s usual dent. Once Archie stepped out of the way, Merlin reached over and laid the blanket back over him.
Douxie stirred a little, but only to turn from his back onto his side, his back to the wall and his front facing Merlin. Once the boy settled again, Merlin tentatively reached behind his head and let his bun loose so it wouldn’t get tangled if he moved around too much in his sleep. He doubted it would, considering the exhaustion and soreness in his muscles would probably enticement enough to stay still, even unconscious, but the gesture couldn’t hurt.
Archie crawled right underneath one of Douxie’s arms and nestled against his chest, and the moppet unconsciously held the bespectacled cat a little tighter.
And that was Merlin’s unspoken cue to leave Hisirdoux to rest for the night, so that’s what he did. He needed rest too, after all - his built-up immunity may have saved his life, but the poison, like everything else in the onslaught of the evening, left him weary.
Tomorrow, a search would begin.
Tomorrow, Merlin would find out who was behind this.
Tomorrow, the greatest and most powerful wizard in Camelot would not relent until he found the monster, human or trollish, who almost killed his son.
But tonight, Hisirdoux lay curled up in his bed, sound asleep as he kept his familiar close. Tonight, his life was saved.
And tonight, that was enough.
#tales of arcadia#toa#mine#toa fanfic#whump#hurt/comfort#hisirdoux casperan#douxie#moppet!douxie#archie toa#toa merlin#toa morgana#toa wizards#fic: of poison forest floors and terrified wizards#draining dust
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