#and ups has lost almost every book that ive ordered online

[bittersweetblasphemy]

tfw you order something but you have no idea how the holidays are gonna change the delivery date bc the website hasn't given you an update since it shipped out

[pixelgrotto]

A look at D&D’s Curse of Strahd

From about October 2018 to August 2019, I led a group of four friends through Curse of Strahd, the latest campaign book featuring a dive into the realm of Dungeon & Dragon’s most famous vampire, Strahd von Zarovich. It went well, and it was an interesting experience for me as a Dungeon Master, since this was my first time using one of Wizards of the Coast’s official modules. In the past I’ve always come up with my own homebrew adventures, and I still homebrewed a good chunk of Curse of Strahd, remixing characters and formulating story twists on the fly once I learned the ebb and flow of my group.

One of the things I love most about D&D, however, is that such behavior is encouraged, and pretty much all of the major 5th Edition releases outright tell DMs that they shouldn’t hesitate to make a campaign “their own” by only following the book when necessary. Thus, the version of Curse of Strahd that my players ran through was an experience specifically tailored to them - one where a motley crew known as the “Well-Doners” (like a well done steak...or a stake to the heart of a vampire!) were sucked into Strahd’s strange valley of Barovia and forced to ally together for the sake of survival...aided by a few key comrades, including a funny gnome mage who’d lost his magical mojo, the reincarnation of Strahd’s lost love, a grumpy monster hunter and a massive ranger and his dwarf wife. If I ever run Curse of Strahd again for another group, it’s very likely that many of these key comrades - as well as the general crux of the adventure - will turn out completely different.

To all enterprising DMs who might wish to run Curse of Strahd for their own groups, it’s worth first noting that this is very much a Ravenloft campaign. Ravenloft is the setting that sprouted from the 1983 module of the same name, originally devised by Tracy and Laura Hickman and then expanded upon during the heyday of D&D 2nd Edition. In a nutshell, it’s D&D’s horror setting, and the horror is very much steeped in the gothic tradition, with a heavy dollop of foes inspired by the Universal Monster Movies of the 1920s to 50s, sprinkles of Eastern European creepiness and a dash or two of dark romance to complete the mix. I quite like this combination because it reminds me of the melancholy yet deeply beautiful world of Mordavia in Quest for Glory IV: Shadows of Darkness, one of the formative experiences of my youth and a game that has a great soundtrack for the backdrop of any Ravenloft campaign. (Interestingly, Quest for Glory creators Lori and Corey Cole were D&D players before they went on to design computer games, which means that the gothic realm of Mordavia surely is a clear descendant of Ravenloft.)

But horror of any variety isn’t necessarily everyone’s cup of tea, and certain parts of Curse of Strahd - if run straight from the book - can veer quite sinister, because Barovia is ultimately a crappy place presided over by a crappy undead warlord. The introductory adventure of the module, dubbed “Death House,” actually deals with ghostly children who’ve died of starvation in a haunted manor due to the cultist ways of their mad parents. It’s entirely possible to make these kids untrustworthy antagonists in order to emphasize that the Ravenloft setting simply does not mess around, but since I was running this campaign for a group of four new players whose prior experience with D&D ran the gamut from limited to absolutely zero, I decided to make them into a spooky but still likable duo who could “possess” the players’ characters and offer sassy running commentary on the monsters infiltrating the manor. Like Casper but with a tad more snark, in other words - and the endearing nature of the children made the moment where my players had to lay their corpses to rest and confront their sad origins all the more compelling.

This act of balance - between ensuring that players recognize this as a dark adventure but also making sure that just enough light and humor alleviates the depression - is one that I tried to perform during every session of our game, and I’d encourage future Curse of Strahd DMs to do the same. I’d also encourage enterprising Dungeon Masters to perform a similar balancing act on the monsters and scenarios that permeate the adventure - specifically on the ones in the Death House opener as well as Strahd himself.

Death House, more specifically, is described in the book as a means to help the party quickly progress from levels 1 to 3, but played as is, it’s quite possible for players to get absolutely curb-stomped by everything within the manor - particularly a “final boss” that they’re technically not supposed to engage with, at least in a fair manner. Veteran RPG fans might relish the challenge, which is more reminiscent of Call of Cthulhu than D&D, but newbies might not like having to re-roll a character because their first one got wrecked by a Shambling Mound after only a few hours of play. So, retool Death House to suit the needs of your party - in my case, I limited the encounters somewhat to prevent a steady drip of HP and also gave my players a few tips on how to beat tricky baddies via those aforementioned ghost kids.

The opposite strategy goes for Strahd von Zarovich himself, who might be the big bad of Barovia but is surprisingly squishy when confronted by a hardy group of level 8 or 9 players, especially if they’ve found all the fancy sunlight-shooting artifacts of the adventure that can limit his powers. I can’t count the number of posts I’ve seen on the D&D Reddit or a Curse of Strahd Facebook group I’m in where frustrated DMs have written something like “Strahd was killed by my players within two rounds, where did I go wrong” - and in order to circumvent this from happening in the last session of a shared storytelling experience that had nearly spanned a year, I took a heavy pair of tweezers to Strahd’s stats and gave him three forms, each with their own HP. The first was his regular vampiric self, the second was him riding on his Misty Steed-summoned horse Bucephalus, and the third was basically Strahd going into berserker mode with black angel wings bursting from his back. (I stole the concept art of Satan from Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 for that. Worked perfectly!)

Speaking of Castlevania, I drew inspiration from the recent Netflix series - which I’ve written about here and here - when it came to developing Strahd’s actual personality, because even though the book updated his original Bela Lugosi-esque appearance into something more regal and fantasy-inspired, his essence is still something of a two dimensional bad guy, and the fact that one of his eternal missions in undeath is to make the reincarnation of his original lover fall for him is a problematic pill to swallow in 2019, even if it is meant as an ode to Dracula’s obsession with Mina Harker in Bram Stoker’s original novel. And so I decided to make my version of Strahd similar to the depressed, weary-of-life Dracula in Netflix Castlevania, turning him into a vampire of complexities - a guy who’s been immortal for so long that he almost wants the players to kill him, a man who believes he’s entitled to the love of a woman yet somewhere deep down realizes the inherent selfishness of that belief, and a lord who’s grown bored with his kingdom yet can’t quite relinquish the power he’s held over it for centuries. My Strahd, in other words, was still a bad dude, but at least a somewhat deeper bad dude that the cardboard cutout as presented in the book, and one of my players even described him as “a little like Kylo Ren,” which I took as a compliment.

Before I wrap this up, I’d like to return to the concept of the balancing act with regards to the structure and scope of Curse of Strahd, which is a true sandbox adventure. Players are not required to visit half of the locations outlined in the book, and the replayability factor is high, because the various artifacts that you need to defeat Strahd, as well as the specific non-player characters likely to assist you along the way, are dependent on a tarot card reading that occurs near the start of the adventure. The locations that I found the most important for my players were the towns of Barovia and Vallaki, the Wizard of Wines Winery, Yester Hill, Van Richten’s Tower, the Ruins of Berez, and Castle Ravenloft itself. Other groups online swear by Krezk, a third town that my players never bothered to visit (though I would have urged them to go there if we’d had any clerics or paladins in the party, since Krezk is a town with a giant church), and the Amber Temple, the lair where Strahd obtained his undead powers (a place I feel is best suited for players of neutral or evil-leaning alignments). Your mileage may vary, but if you’re going to DM this module, one of the best bits of advice I can give would be to see which locations your players are naturally inquisitive about, and then focus on those. Exploring every nook and cranny of Barovia can quickly turn into a slog otherwise.

With all this in mind, I think it’s time for the so-called “Well-Doners” to leave the world of gothic horror behind for a bit. They’ve somehow managed to find their way back to their home plane and the city of Waterdeep, and only one of the party was infected with a seemingly fatal curse after their stay in Ravenloft. What further quests await, I wonder, and what new campaign book will I hack apart to suit my players’ tastes? That’s for me to know, for them to find out, and for another long blog post examination...sometime in 2020, hopefully!

All photographs taken by me.

[ghostlywritten]

When I Was Your Man VII.

Words: 5,5k+

Thank you guys for your kind words. Anonymously and in the comment section, every single one make my day as well as the likes and the reblogs. 

I II III IV V VI

I woke up, almost unable to open my eyes with how puffy they were. A piercing headache made me nauseous and I shot up to run to the bathroom when another ache in my lower region caused me to drop back with a groan. ‘What the hell happened?’

Blinking heavily, I wondered why it was so cold when I realised I had no clothes on.

“Oh my god,” I moaned, weakly lifting up the blanket to confirm my fear. “Why am I naked?”

“That’s what happens when you have sex,” a voice spoke up and I flinched in surprise, gathering the blankets up to my chin. Peeking over my hands I noticed my husband leaning against the bathroom door, fresh and fully clothed. I envied the way he effortlessly looked good and wondered what I must be looking like. If it was as bad as I felt on the inside, he would probably file for a divorce before I could. Wait-

“I had sex??” I asked, shooting up again, wincing.

“...Yes,” Antoine said, his small smile fading, “Don’t you remember?”

“Oh my god,” I lifted the blankets up, noticing splatters of blood on the sheets, “Oh my god.” I had lost my virginity and couldn’t remember it.

“Are you alright?” Antoine inquired softly and I heard him step forward.

“Don’t come closer!” I demanded and he stopped, putting his hands up in defense, “Not the reaction I usually get after sex...is that a playing-hard-to-get game, because that train has left the station.”

“Oh my god,” I said miserably, my hungover brain not being able to conjure anything up but that sentence.

“Hey, it’s alright if you don’t recall what happened. It’s not like it was your first time,” he ‘reassured’ and I gave him the hardest death glare I could muster up. He didn’t even know I had been a virgin up until last night! I felt slightly humiliated and extremely vulnerable.

Grasping the blankets tighter, I pulled them up until my entire body was covered, an uneasy look crossing my face when pain shot up from my abdomen.

“How do you even remember? You usually forget everything when you get drunk.”

“Well, yeah. But I somehow get sober during sex no matter how drunk I am,” Antoine explained with a shrug and I sighed.

“Can you tell me exactly how this happened?”

“Classic missionary position,” Antoine said with a grin, holding up his hand for a high-five.

I groaned. “No, not that. I mean, how did we even end up having sex?! We’ve never done it before.”

“Oh that,” Antoine cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck, “I guess, it kind of happened after you got drunk, too. It’s all a bit hazy, I only recall the actual act, to be honest.”

I held my throbbing head, cursing myself. Was my life some kind of drama? Or a reality show? Why did this have to happen to me? Having sex for the first time and forgetting it?

“I’m a nut case,” I mumbled to myself, holding my abdomen. It hurt so bad it pushed back the urge to throw up all the content from drinking. For now.

“What- no. Come on, Addy,” Antoine said, sitting down on the sheets and placing a hand on my shoulder. “It’s all good. I mean, I guess it could have been more romantic and I think I was a bit rough, which is why you’re probably hurting down there but you seemed like you enjoyed it las-”

“Antoine, please,” I begged, shaking his hand off, “Can you just leave?”

“What?” he asked, a flicker of hurt in his eyes, “We had sex and you want me to leave?”

“I really feel like shit right now and need to sort myself out,” I explained, biting my lip, “I might even remember something when I’m alone with my thoughts.”

Antoine nodded though still frowned when he got up hesitatingly, “I will...just head to breakfast then.”

“Fine,” I said, waiting for him to go.

He took one step to the door before he turned back around, “You sure you’re going to be alright alone?”

“Yes.”

“Okay...do you maybe need some painkillers or something?”

“I will get them later-”

“I can get you some! Will just take five minutes!” he suggested eagerly, already rushing away but I stopped him, “It’s fine, really. Please just go eat breakfast. I’ll be down soon.”

“Ok,” he mumbled disappointed, “If you need anything, just call me.”

“I will,” I reassured, sighing deeply when he finally left. ‘First of, get rid of the bloody sheets,’ I ordered myself, going to stand and pick up a bathrobe when I almost fell face first from the soreness in my lower region.

“Jesus, how am I supposed to walk like this?” I groaned, limping towards the bathroom and putting on one of the bathrobes from the hotel. Limping back into the room, I cursed, “I can’t walk like this. Everyone will question it, for god’s sake!”

Picking up the hotel phone, I called up for a maid to change the sheets. Whilst waiting for someone to come, I walked around, trying to adjust to the pain.

“At least I don’t have to throw up from all the alcohol,” I mumbled to myself, though the nauseous feeling stayed, almost making me wish I would vomit everything I had digested the past 24 hours.

A knock on the room made me hurriedly limp over, a maid standing with a fresh batch of sheets in her arms, “You needed a change?” she asked with a friendly smile and I sighed in relief.

“Yes, please,” I gestured for her to walk in front of me so she wouldn’t see my pathetic walk. The maid pulled off the sheets from the bed, halting when she saw the blood with a nervous look. Glancing at my pale, frowning face she gulped, “Is everything alright, miss?”

If possible, I paled some more. ‘Shoot, what do I say?”

“Miss? Do you need a doctor?” she asked worriedly and any other time and place I would have felt touched by her distress for me.

“E-ehm, no. No, of course not! I...just got my periods...and it was surprisingly early, so I wasn’t prepared,” I stammered, tightening the robe around me, “Yeah...that’s what happened.”

The maid seemed to believe me as relief flooded her features, “Alright, I will change the sheets and then go.”

“Thanks. Do you mind if I leave you alone to take shower?” One shake of her head was enough for me to rush over to the bathroom, trying to walk normally. As soon as I shut the door, I leaned against it. “I’m too hungover for this,” I grumbled to myself, rubbing my throbbing temples. Opening the door, I put my head out, “Oh and could you get me some painkillers?”

The maid, slightly startled, nodded with another schooled smile and I thanked graciously, “You’re a lifesaver. Just leave them on the nightstand. Thank you!”

Taking a shower had never been so refreshing before and even though I still felt like used shit, I tried not to think too much about it. I would probably burst out in tears otherwise.

How could he have actually let this happen? Didn’t he love Cateline? He just cheated on the woman he cheated on me with. A small part of me wanted to rub that in her face, but the bigger part would know exactly how she would feel if she found this out. Would he pretend he never cheated on her like he was doing with me?

I sniffed slightly as I limped towards the diner, “So much for not thinking about it,” I mumbled to myself, rubbing my eyes. The painkillers had yet to kick in for the ache both in my head and downwards. Right now, I wished I could have talked to my mother, but feared what she would say about all this. She would probably be happy, regardless of how I felt about it.

I once again realised how alone I was in that moment.

-

“There she is, the drinking queen!” Giroud greeted me as soon as I stepped up to their table with a forced smile. I clenched my teeth against the pain and sat down next to Antoine and across from Jennifer, who gave me a suggestive wink.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said immediately when she opened her mouth and she closed it back, giggling.

“Oh, you mean you don’t know that you got absolutely smashed last night and had a heavy make-out session with your hubby?” she asked and I placed my elbow on the table to shield my face, causing them all to laugh.

“This must have been the first time I’ve seen you let go of all manners of society!” Jennifer said with a full-blown grin.

I groaned, “It’s too bright.”

“What?”

“Your white teeth, stop smiling,” I grumbled and she chuckled, resuming her food. Antoine rubbed my back, pushing over some painkillers and I took them even though I already had some.

“I know you have to cure your hangover, so we can drop the sightseeing plans and just hang in the room,” my husband suggested in a soothing tone.

The football players had the day off since we would fly out this afternoon to our next destination. The managers had been nice enough to book a later flight instead of early in the morning as they usually would, knowing we would all need to cure our hangovers.

Turns out, most were fresh and in a good mood, still pumped with a little adrenaline from their last win. Like Antoine for example.

“No, it’s fine. You guys can go, I will just lay in bed and pretend to be dead. Maybe the headache will disappear that way,” I replied and they laughed at me.

“Come on, you just need a hearty breakfast and you’ll be good to go,” Giroud said, pushing my plate filled with waffles and sandwiches closer to me.

“I don’t know...”

“Please, we haven’t done anything together, yet,” Jennifer butted in as well, giving me her puppy eyes, “Besides partying.”

I glanced down fearfully at my abdomen. Walking around didn’t seem so pleasant right now. On the other hand, I had read online that it would help reduce the pain faster than simply lying around.

Hours later I would regret being that optimistic.

“Why do I even listen to the internet?” I grumbled, holding onto Antoine’s arm. He had insisted on staying glued to my side during the entire sightseeing tour, which I didn’t complain about since I needed the support.

He had seemed to notice that I had trouble walking and kept shooting me apologetic looks. “Are you tired? Should we go back?” he asked every five minutes, brushing my hair soothingly.

I smiled tightly. “It’s fine.”

He narrowed his blue eyes, “Whenever you say ‘fine’, nothing is fine.” I chuckled, tiredly leaning against him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and I sighed. Why did I always have to feel so safe being close to him? When he was the main source of all my misery.

“I don’t want to rest now. It will mess up my sleeping schedule,” I said.

“Your sleeping schedule is messed up anyways,” Antoine commented, chuckling when I punched him lightly in the stomach. “Have you...remembered anything from last night, yet?” he asked tentatively after watching Giroud taking pictures of Jennifer for a while.

I shook my head silently. Antoine stayed quiet as well but I felt his thumb rubbing circles on my side. He nuzzled his face into my hair and I relished in the sensation of having him this near to me. “Don’t worry, we can repeat last night to refresh your memory if you want,” he suggested with a boyish grin, nudging his forehead against mine. I furrowed my eyebrows slightly. Wasn’t that a drunken mistake for him? He was unofficially with Cateline, why would he- ‘How can you live with yourself?’ I asked him in my mind. Was he seriously going to fool us both now?

I bit my tongue to stop the anger from lashing out. This was going way too far, had been going way too far for too long, but I couldn't say anything. If I were to reveal I knew about all he had done, I would have to immediately file for a divorce and leave. And I couldn't financially support myself enough yet to do so. As selfish as that sounded - simply staying for money - I had basically no choice. Ending up homeless was definitely not on my agenda.

I had to wait so I bit my tongue to contain my anger.

“Hey, lovebirds. Stop clinging to each other for a second and take a picture of us!” Jennifer demanded, waving us over. Antoine laughed, unwrapping one arm and leading me towards them with the other whilst I schooled my expression.

The rest of the day was spent taking pictures together, ‘ooh’ing at every building, cathedral or whatever before we had to get back to the hotel to pack our things and leave. I couldn’t say I didn’t enjoy the day at all, it was almost as good as Antoine’s and I’s trip to the campus.

The pain in my head left completely and whilst I was still sore down there I figured it would disappear after a good sleep.

-

Blinking, I woke up from the haziest dream I ever had. It had looked like I was stumbling down a hallway with a man in my arms, getting pushed against the door and toppling over when it got opened. It ended with a drop in bed and I woke up just when someone was climbing on top of me.

“What the hell?” I mumbled, feeling strange. A muscled arm sneaked around my waist over the sheets.

“Morning,” Antoine murmured, snuggling closer. I glanced to my right to see his face placed on the pillow directly next to mine. My heartbeat halted at the sight of his angelic features, from the curve of his nose to the long eyelashes hiding his beautiful blue eyes to the corners of his lips slowly moving upwards. “Stop staring, you creep,” he said, his voice deeper and heavy with sleep. I bit my lip, belatedly looking away when he opened his eyes.

“I wasn’t staring,” I denied, inspecting the plain ceiling.

Antoine chuckled, pulling himself up on the elbow to hover over me. “Sure, because the ceiling is a better view than your husband, hm?” he asked, leaning forward over me, propped up on his elbow. His cologne reached my nose and I inhaled it deeply as discreetly as I could, trying to keep my eyes on upwards and not flicker to his toned bare chest.

“Way better, look at how beige it is.”

“It’s white.”

“Shut up.”

Antoine laughed and I couldn’t stop myself from admiring his cute smile. Damn, why did he have to be so attractive?

“I wonder how I could get my wife’s attention then,” he mused, faking a thoughtful look, “I can’t lose against a ceiling now, can I?”

“Absolutely not, but it’s quite the hard competition,” I played along, always feeling more comfortable during our familiar banters.

Antoine sighed dramatically. “What to do, I wonder,” he said, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes and I raised an eyebrow.

“What are you planning?” I asked warily when I saw his hands sneak to my sides, “No, wait! Wait, you won!” I immediately surrendered, pushing against his chest.

“I haven’t even started yet,” Antoine chuckled, but didn’t move to tickle me thankfully.

“You won still. What’s a ceiling compared to you?” I scoffed, laughing nervously. Antoine’s fingers left my sides, amused. “Never thought I would have to compete against a ceiling and actually feel so satisfied winning.”

I breathed out a laugh and he gazed down at me, a warm and tender look that I hadn’t noticed before. Our smiles faded when the atmosphere shifted and even though it was a weird timing I got reminded of what I had dreamed of a few minutes ago. I watched Antoine’s eyes trail over my features like I had previously done before they rested on my lips. I felt the sudden urge to run my tongue over my dry lips self-consciously but that only made his blue irises turn a dark, stormy colour.

“Ant-” I was just about to break the silence anxiously when he cut me off, placing his lips on mine. I gasped and he immediately granted himself access into my mouth, deepening the kiss. My eyes fell shut at the sensation and I couldn’t help but reciprocate. A blissful sigh escaped him and I felt him smile as he pushed himself closer until his chest was flush against mine, careful not to crush me whilst he weaved one hand around my neck. I let my own wander up to his back, fisting his hair when I couldn’t control the rush of emotions running through my body. A low groan escaped him and his demeanor turned urgent, almost aggressive and left us both breathless.

I reluctantly pulled away when I needed air, cursing myself for not being a vampire. Antoine, who seemingly was one, kissed down a trail to my neck, one arm moving under me to pull me even closer. I gasped when he hit a sensitive spot, goosebumps erupting on my skin. A moan almost escaped me as he kept on sucking when a knock on the door interrupted us.

“Rise and shine, Anto! You’re late for practice!” Giroud’s voice reached my ears, instantly killing the mood.

Antoine groaned in annoyance. “Just the perfect timing.”

I giggled slightly, causing him to smile and lean his head against mine. “You should go, you have work to do,” I said quietly, nudging his nose with my own. He smiled with his eyes closed but whined, “I don’t wanna leave though.”

“Oi! Antoine! You’re hearing me?!” Giroud inquired.

“Yes! I’ll be right out!” Antoine pushed himself up and shouted, causing the other man to yelp in surprise. He leaned back down with a pout and I almost drowned in his ocean blue eyes when he pecked me. “I’ll be back at 2. Promise.”

Nodding, I looked towards the clock on the wall and groaned, “It’s 8 AM? I’m up way too early.”

My husband chuckled, putting on a grey shirt. “Just sleep until I come back.”

“Kay...,” I mumbled, snuggling into his pillow and feeling him kiss my forehead before he left.

-

“They’ve won,” Jennifer said. She had only whispered in her shock and yet I could hear her clearly even though the mass around us was clamouring in their joy.

Nodding, I watched the entire team of France including managers, coaches etc. run around the field as soon as the referee gave his last whistle of the game; France had won the World Cup.

“They’ve really won!” my friend next to me exclaimed, having mumbled that sentence over and over again until reality hit her. She hugged me tightly from the side, breaking me out of my stupor as well. Laughing joyfully I wrapped my arms around her as well. Over her shoulder, I could see his parents and grandparents cheer loudly with moist eyes and I almost had the urge to spill some tears as well.

Letting go of Jennifer I looked back towards the field, searching for Antoine. He had his hands fisted over his mouth, seeming close to full-out brawl as the pressure finally got lifted off his shoulders and all the hard work paid off.

I couldn’t have smiled any wider, feeling a sense of pride to call him my husband (for now) as we watched them get their medals and lift that Cup.

Not a second later when the formal ceremony was done did the players run over to the France corner to celebrate with their fans, including us. Antoine spotted his family fast, grinning and waving the Cup in his hands towards them.

I laughed when I saw his parents wave back with his jersey, a rush of happiness coursing through me for them. ‘They must be so proud...,’ I thought with a smile.

“Addy!” Antoine shouted and I turned back around to see him jogging over, handing off the Cup to Umtitti. Moving forward, I leaned down against the railing, grinning down at him.

“Congratulations, Spongebob!” I shouted and he laughed in joy.

“Come down!” he requested and I obliged, pushing my way through the crowd to get to the only spot where you could get out onto the field, pulling Jennifer along with me.

As soon as a security guard let us through I glanced around for my husband, only to find him heading straight for me. He grabbed my face with both hands and smashed his lips against mine. I would have fallen backward if he hadn’t had a hold on me. Gripping his shirt I pulled him closer, sighing blissfully against his mouth. I would miss this.

“We’ve won,” Antoine said breathlessly, dazed as if he couldn’t believe it.

I nodded, “You did!”

“We did,” he insisted, pecking me. “Without your veggie soup, we wouldn't have gotten far.” I burst out in laughter at his serious gaze and shook my head. Sometimes, he was too sweet.

“Well, I certainly got my reward just now,” I replied with a cheesy grin, which he reciprocated.

“There’s more where that came from,” he whispered against my lips and I shuddered at the faint touch. Pulling him closer, I claimed another kiss, knowing I was getting dangerously addictive of this. I felt him smirk as he snaked his arms around my waist, leaving no space between us.

I only let go when I tasted the salt of his tears against my lips, brushing them away as he grinned from ear to ear with his skin flushed. “You did so well,” I told him and his blue eyes softened, emotions flashing in them that I couldn’t quite decipher but caused warmth to bloom in my chest. He hugged me tightly towards him, holding the back of my head with one hand and the other firmly wrapped around me.

“Thank you,” he whispered into my ear, kissing the shell of it tenderly.

-

It was safe to say that we had a party and even though a lot of their parents were around (and in Antoine’s case his grandparents, too) the players got wild. Wilder than the nights before.

I glanced at Gran next to me nervously as she observed the dancing crowd of men in front her, yelling the lyrics to a French song from the top of their lungs, “They’re usually not like this.”

“That’s quite alright. I find this very amusing," she replied good-naturedly.

“Good, because what I just said was a lie.”

Gran chuckled, patting my arm. “I figured,” she said before she fully turned towards me with a mischievous glint in her blue eyes that reminded me of Antoine’s. “So, I’ve noticed my grandson and you getting cosy.”

I flushed red, glancing around for my husband. Of course, I couldn’t spot him. “Um, yes. We’ve gotten closer,” I admitted shyly and she smiled warmly at me.

“I’m so happy,” she replied, “Your patience has paid off. Haven’t I told you he would warm up to you?”

I smiled back wordlessly though it disappeared as soon as she turned around when her husband called for her attention. “I cannot stand this loud music, I’m not fifty anymore,” he complained, “Let’s head to bed, honey.”

Gran sighed, placing her drink down. “Fine. Though I have to add you said the same thing when you were fifty.”

I giggled, bidding them goodbye. Antoine’s parents had left for bed long ago since they had to fly back early due to work. It was a bit sad to see they didn’t even take a week off for their son, who just won the freaking World Cup, but on the other hand, I could guess with 99% accuracy that my parents would have done the exact same thing.

“Ads, what are you doing standing around like a wimp?” Jennifer exclaimed, tugging a drunk Giroud along with her.

“Yes, Addy. Get the drinking queen mode on already!” he demanded, pushing a drink in my hand.

Before I could reply I felt a pair of arms snake around me and a hard chest against my back, taking the drink away from me. “Sorry, guys. Ads has to stay sober,” Antoine said, putting the cup down.

“Why?” I asked though I didn’t mind, not wanting to have another mental blackout.

“Because I want you to remember everything tonight,” he whispered into my ear, his voice getting deeper.

“What do you-” I cut myself off when he started nibbling on my earlobe, “Antoine!”

“That’s my name,” he whispered huskily, wrapping an arm across my chest, “Wear it out.” My eyes bulged at his words. What had gotten into him? I wiggled around to face him, the Giroud pair having left already with a simple, heart-warming comment ("Disgusting") to continue their dancing.

“Are you drunk?” I asked, narrowing my eyes suspiciously when he shook his head.

“If you don’t believe me, test my breath,” he challenged with a grin. I was tempted to accept the insinuated offer but decided to tease him a bit so I shrugged.

“Nah, I believe you.” His grin dropped into a sour look before he quickly dove down to claim my lips, interrupting my giggle. My eyes widened in surprise before I gave in, letting him dominate. He grasped my hips tightly, pulling me against him and I bit his lip to contain a moan, feeling my cheeks go red at what we were doing. I wasn’t drunk this time to ignore the others in our vicinity.

“Antoine, not here,” I mumbled, retracting and pushing him away when he leaned forward, growling in frustration at the loss of contact.

“C’mon then,” he demanded, taking my hand. My heart fluttered slightly at the prospect of what was going to happen when he dragged me through the crowd and out of the room. And even though my mind was trying to fight against it, I didn't have it in me to go against my heart. And body.

-

The Russian dream ended way too soon and I almost dreaded going back to France. It was like everything good happened here and leaving for France was like leaving an alternative universe, where Antoine's and I's relationship could be good. Wishful thinking it was.

We had stayed for another day before we had to pack our things; A whole nation was waiting for the boys, after all, to get the Cup home and celebrate with them. I smiled, watching Antoine fool around in the lobby with his friends whilst I waited for the front lady to clear up our check out from the hotel.

"Alright, you're officially kicked out," she said, giggling at her own joke. 

I snorted, "Thank you."

"I'm sorry, I can't help saying that everytime someone leaves. The reactions all vary and are so funny sometimes," she explained and I smiled.

"You seem to enjoy your job," I noted, observing her natural smile. It didn't seem fake at all like I was used to from service staff.

"I do. This is my dad's hotel and I'm going to take his place one day," she babbled, "He said I would have to start from the lowest spot and work my way up to understand the true meaning of owning a hotel...I started off with cleaning toilets."

I cringed at that but couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. "I wish you the best of luck," I said and realised how I actually meant it. This was probably the first time I had bothered to have a conversation with a staff and found myself genuinely enjoying it.

"Thank you so much!" she exclaimed, seemingly close to tears and I panicked, quickly bidding her goodbye. I could barely handle my own tears, how was I going to comfort someone else even if they were from being happy. At least I hoped they were happy tears...

"Ready to go?" Antoine asked when I reached him.

"I made the receptionist cry."

"What?"

"Huh? Nothing," I shook my head to snap out of it, grasping the handle of my suitcase, "Let's go."

Antoine looked at me puzzled before deciding not to ask, wrapping his arm around my shoulder instead. "Right. Let's go home," he said, pecking my lips.

I forced a smile, a feeling of dread hitting me whenever I thought of 'home'.

-

After the long, gruesome hours of being stuck in a plane, we had finally arrived at the Paris Airport. Though I had to admit, it wasn't as bad this time since Antoine kept showering me with kisses either on my lips or all over my face.

"Will you stop it already?" I demanded half-heartedly when he once again turned to me to attack my skin.

"Yes, Anto. Will you please stop?" Pogba groaned from behind us. "I can't handle this sap show. It's like watching Dani's soap operas."

"Hey, they're not that bad," his wife next to him defended.

"What? The soap operas or these two?"

"The soap operas, of course."

I laughed, turning around to see her but faltered when I saw her give me the same death glare as usual. I did say I wasn't bothered by it to Jennifer but this was seriously getting ridiculous. Why did she hate me so much?

Pondering on possible arguments, I only came up with one conclusion: She was dumb. I shrugged to myself, 'Better than nothing.'

"I can't wait to get home," Antoine mumbled, nuzzling my neck.

"Why? I won't sleep with you today," I said and he gave me deadpanned look.

"That's not- wait, why not?" he pouted and I laughed, pecking his lip. "We already stayed up all night yesterday because of your needs. I crave my beauty sleep."

"Excuse me? My needs?" he protested, "Who was the one, who scre-" I quickly placed my hand over his mouth, glancing around in hopes no one had heard whilst he kept talking, his words muffled.

"Shut up, I was kidding," I huffed, cringing when he licked my palm.

"Good, because I'm definitely going to repeat last night," he grinned and I groaned in annoyance though on the inside I could already feel the excitement building. I had definitely been missing out in the past. "But that's actually not what I meant. I just miss France. And I can't wait to celebrate with everyone there," he said and I smiled fondly when I saw how eager he was.

"You will tomorrow," I said, caressing his cheek that had gained quite the attractive stubble the past days. "I love your stubble," I remarked randomly, causing him to grin, "I know, that's why I let it grow." I bit my lip, not wanting to kiss him in public but yearning to do so. "It makes you crazy, doesn't it?" he asked cheekily, teasingly leaning forward until I could feel his breath on my face. "It makes you wanna do things you usually wouldn't do, right?" he continued, stroking my neck with feather-like touches that caused my heart rate to shoot up. "In front of all these peop-"

"Shut up and kiss me," I cut him off, pulling him close by his collar to finally crash my lips against his. Screw modesty, that was the best make-out session ever.

Our lips were raw and red by the time the intercom announced our descent. "At last," Pogba mumbled behind us and I tried to stifle my giggle whilst Antoine simply took a hold of my hand, lovingly intertwining our fingers together.

It took us ten minutes after landing to get out of the plane, another fifteen to get our suitcases and when we got out of our terminal a seemingly endless human traffic preventing us from moving any closer to the exit. Football fans had found out when and where the French team would arrive, cheering loudly as soon as they spotted them with cameras flashing. Placing some dark shade sunglasses on I tightened my grip around Antoine's hand as we tried to push through the crowd whilst he was busy thanking each of them in his own earnest way, feeling my heart warm when he occasionally glanced back to check if I was okay.

Eventually, a security squad came to help us go and from then on it went a lot smoother even though the cheering crowd kept following behind us. I sighed in relief, it had been quite suffocating. 'I don't know how celebrities handle this,' I thought to myself when I spotted the last person I wanted to see.

She was walking in our direction but it was a large space, to a stranger she would simply look like she was passing through. But I knew better and quickly looked another way when her eyes settled on Antoine's figure. Watching from my peripheral view, I noticed how she was trying to gain his attention, walking into his line of sight, and I gritted my teeth.

His gaze almost immediately found hers and my heart broke at the small smile that grew on his face. He didn't have sunglasses on so I could clearly see the fondness in his eyes when he looked at her whilst he was holding my hand.

Quickly shaking him off I wrapped my arms around myself, swallowing harshly. His head snapped around at the loss of contact and he seemed to come out of a daze, clearing his throat. "Ehm, I'm going to head to the toilet real quick. Wait for me in the car?" he suggested with a simple grin; the same grin he gave me all the time in Russia. And I had never been able to discern whether it was fake or not. But now I knew.

"Sure," I muttered, glancing over his shoulder to see Cateline impatiently tap her foot against the floor, biting her lips in anticipation. A searing knife of jealousy and rage cut right into my chest and I clenched my jaw tightly. 'She should know what it feels like.'

Grabbing Antoine's arm, who had already turned to walk towards her, I quickly pulled him by the front of his shirt and smashed my lips against his.

 Right.in.front.of.her. 

My husband stiffened in surprise but melted when I ran my tongue over his lower lip, biting down. It seemed like he didn't know what he wanted himself when he grabbed my hips, uncertain of whether to push me away and draw me closer. Opening one eye I felt a cool rush of satisfaction when I saw her crestfallen expression; the same one that had been on mine when I caught them. 

Whoever said revenge was not the solution clearly never knew how good it felt.

I could barely contain my shit-eating grin when I let go of my husband with a “Don't make me wait too long.”, watching him stumble away with flushed cheeks and breathing heavily.

VIII.

Help me Get Coffee Support?

[sangriatimes]

Nintendo Switch saves Valentines Day

Can you believe that we are almost half-way done with January? Maybe it’s just me and the countless hours I put into reviewing the latest titles for the Nintendo Switch...which is our focus point that can change the tide if you hit a hard spot this V-Day. Maybe you don’t have enough money for that dinner, movie and gift. Maybe you thought that restaurant you made a reservation at is more expensive than you though. Maybe you just started a new relationship but you still have some awkward silences that seem to kill the mood. Whatever the situation may be a Nintendo Switch can get you to second base and home plate...trust me.

So let’s look at some of the titles for switch that are great to play with that special someone. (Games are listed in no particular order; games are not based on “)sales”; Games are mainly hidden gems)

1. Monopoly | 9.5 out of 10

Hear me out. I was one that grew up playing the original board game with my family and the overall appeal of the game was astounding, but I lost interest when I got older and noticed how long it takes to make everyone go bankrupt. ...but this is something...otherworldly. The first awesome thing you will notice when you pick up this title is the use of the Joy-Con controllers to shake the dice and throw them. Though this is still the same mechanic in spirit as its predecessor but with the newly animated boards populated by Mii’s and watching a living city grow as you play and add properties adds an entirely new respect for Money Bags. Our team lost track of time having so much fun with this one and before we knew it, we had seen 5 hours pass. (No one wants to play Monopoly for that long.) 

2. Uno | 8.5 out of 10

Uno is another one of those games I grew up playing with family. When I purchased the game, I was expecting some sort of controller mechanic similar to Monopoly’s dice...but with cards instead...but I was let down. None the less, going into this, I didn’t even know that there were so many ways to play Uno besides the normal rules. Once again, I was amazed at how much more fun this was than the physical cards themselves. Rules like “Stacking. Where Player 1 can play a “Blue Draw 2″ card and Player 2 can counter play a “Draw 2″ card as well. ...but if Player 3 doesn’t possess a “Draw 2″ card, Player 3 then has to pick all 4 cards from the previous turns” was so exciting to try and there are many other ways to customize rules and play styles. 

3. Super Smash Bros | 9.0 out of 10

I really don’t need to go into detail about this one. My only issue with the Smash series is I would really enjoy a multiplayer adventure mode or campaign. I was quite pleased with the full roster of characters though. Disclaimer: Make sure your partner isn’t a sore loser. We all know about SSB’s steep learning curve for beginners. “Don’t be a butt...”

4. Diablo 3 | 9.0 out of 10

I remember having this title on my old PS4 and being able to enjoy it on my PS Vita while I was in a relationship with someone who liked the game as much as I and we would both take our Vita’s to the restroom with us so we could keep the experience going. This title can definitely be used to understand the mindset your partner has by the way they customize their character and the actions they take in response to events. It’s a top-down action-adventure-role-playing-hack-n-slash (inhale.) It is a port of it’s original released on PS3 & 360...the price tag is still $59.99. That’s a deal breaker in my book.

5. NES Emulator | 7.5 out of 10

I honestly chose this one because of how many gamers I know and how 89% of them are males. This is something for those who don’t game to get their feet wet. The emulator is free on the eShop for a 7-day trial but comes with a subscription cost after. Pretty inexpensive for the titles they have. Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros, Metroid, and many more. It even comes with special versions of some of the games which gives the player the experience of playing with Game Genie cheats.

6. 99 Vidas | 7.0 out of 10

Your probably thinking, “ Why is this even listed?” Well, just in case that partner your with doesn’t dig the 8-bit look or the low-res adventures of the NES Emulator and desires a little more action and has a fetish for Streets of Rage and Beat ‘em Up’s. Simply. The available characters are cool enough to get players to find a favorite out of them. ...so...that’s good!

7. Oh Sir...The Hollywood Roast | 8.3 out of 10

After seeing the Samuel Jackson clone named “Bad MotherHugger” who’s personality is totally canon, I had to dig deeper. If you didn’t play the prequel, you don’t need to. I honestly only used the first title to learn how to play. In this installment, you and a co-star face off on a movie set where your scenario is to insult the other the worst. It plays like a fighting game, complete with health bars, special insults, tag team insults and so much more. For the price it is, I was expecting something way less entertaining. Oh, and one point or another you will joke against a Deadpool copy...a less funnier Deadpool but funny enough.

Consider this the American version of The Office.

8. Oh Sir...The Insult Simulator | 7.8 out of 10

Obviously, this is the European version of The Office. I won’t say this is better than the sequel and I can’t say it’s worse either but I will say “I am an American...” What this game does is teach you how to layer your jokes and how lay the foundation for repetition in your topics to create combo’ s. I like to let the opponent bombard me with little weak jokes and build a super mean and super long insult that grants victory for only one joke. I call it, “The Kamehameha Effect!”

9. No More Heroes: Travis Strikes Back

The third installment to the series hits the eShop and retailers in a few days and I am super excited to get my copy. If you aren’t familiar with the series, let me fill you in:

Travis Touchdown is the protagonist of all three games. In NMH1 we find Travis at his lowest moment in life. Jobless, hopeless and drunk, he runs into a mysterious woman who offers him employment with a sketchy syndicate group he knows nothing about. Luckily he had lost all his money by winning a bid at an online auction for a Beam Katana,  his main choice of weaponry. Not long after, you find out you were hired as an assassin in a shady game by her higher-ups. Travis takes the job after being promised some passionate TLC if he can take out all 10 of the already top ranking assassins all over the world. Travis is a pretty simple guy. He likes mecha anime, luchador wrestling, old school video games, porn, sex, and sleeping on the toilet.

In NMH2, Travis finds out that after becoming the #1 ranking assassin in Santa Cruise, he finds out that he actually has hundreds of more assassins in a new ranking system where Travis is the lowest ranking.

This time around, Travis is joined by the father of one the assassins he killed in NMH1, and the co-op option is something that would have been outstanding to have in NMH2 but none the less the developers always deliver great content in their titles and this one will not disappoint. Couples will enjoy the kinky nature of the series for sure. It has been proven many times.

10. Broforce | 9.5 out of 10

Every wanted to play Super Mario Bros on NES but with guns? Ever want to change Mario for, let’s say...any huge action movie star from the 80′s, 90′s, 00′s? Ever wanted it to be a co-op experience with up to 4 players with local and online co-op? As a mercenary for the USA, you are sent to 3rd world contries to liberate them from the evil control of Satan and his hell spawn. Before that, you will have to fight through waves of kamikaze soldiers, war dogs, giant helicoptors, aliens (...from the movie “Aliens”) and much more. Along the way, you will recruit an entire cast of badasses. From Rambo to Robocop, you will find Chuck Norris, Neo, Blade, Bruce Willis, Terminator, Preditor, Machette, Michelle Rodrigez, The Bride (Kill Bill) & so many more including Mortal Kombats Raiden.

Very easy to pick up, very hard to put down.

11. Nidhogg 2 | 8.0 out of 10

2D-Side Scrolling Fighter. You start of with a sword. When you die, you respawn with a dagger. When you die, you respawn with a bow and arrow. Die again and respawn with an ax. Die again and respawn with your fist. This cycle will continue until you our your opponent makes it to the opposing end of the map. Maps are relatively small and consist of about 2 to 3 different frames. Sounds easy on paper right? 

Tons of laughs to be had!

12. Tales Of Vesperia

If your looking for an in-depth RPG you both can play while she sits between your legs and you both focus on the Switch screen laying in front of you: this is for you two. The co-op system usually only functions when you enter battle. Player 1 will always be the one running around the world map but this is still fine if you keep an open-mind and communicate on decisions that impact the story and more. (Keep track of your own money.)

side-note: All Tales games are co-op in this sense, even the Super Nintendo picks.

13. Harvest Moon: Light of Hope

I’ve been a Harvest Moon fan since Super Nintendo and got my first copy on the N64. I know a lot of people see this game and hate the thought of a farming simulator but unlike it’s counterpart with the same name-sake; Harvest Moon is so much more. This can easily tame the craving for an adventure-rpg-dating sim with a very rich story and characters that actually grow on you. I have not had the chance to play this particular version yet, but I saw it was multiplayer and that sold me. If you want to try a good yet cheaper version, Harvest Moon: Back to Nature is by far, one of the best, next to Harvest Moon 64.

So there you have it, our picks of love for your love to love with their love! Honestly...I don’ t celebrate Valentines Day (poly-gang), but I love exposing partners to new things that they can enjoy together.

OUT!

[ideocosmonaut]

Would you rather date someone who had a car or a job? Ehh probably job.

What’s the most important part of a relationship in your opinion? Trust, perhaps?

Have you ever wanted to watch a scary movie with someone JUST to have an excuse to be close to them? Kind of

Be with someone cute and a jerk or ugly and kind? ugly and kind

Name a favorite of each: food, drink, color. Steak, Coke Zero, Gray or black

If you married rich and your spouse gave you $100,000 a week, what would you spend it on? Weekly short vacations. Maybe fly to a city every weekend and go on a shopping spree.

Name a favorite of each: book, movie, tv show. Harry Potter, Robocop, Seinfeld

If your best friend liked your ex, what would you do? I dont have an ex

if you had to choose between being blind or deaf which would you pick? Hmm. Maybe blind. I love art and music but my eyes get me into more trouble than my ears.

Name a LEAST favorite of each: food, drink, color. How boring. Onions, water, yellow

What do you spend most of your money on? Bills

What kind of underwear do you prefer wearing? Boxer briefs

If you were sat on a plane beside your favorite celebrity, what would you do? Probably nothing. Why would they want to talk to me? They’re probably really tired and just want to chill on the ride home. I mean, if I feel brave, maybe I’ll say hi and that I really love their work but that’s about it.

What would you consider to be the biggest insult to yourself? Any... insult?

What are five things you absolutely have to have in your dream house? A kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, a ceiling, walls...

If you could be reincarnated as any animal, which would you chose and why? Some kind of bird

What is your biggest pet peeve? Being wrongfully accused

Do you still watch cartoons? Sometimes

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? 80s and 90s comedies

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A cop. An astronaut

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yeah.

First concert? Flogging Molly, for a big name band. But I went to local shows in school

Tea or coffee? i like both.

Do you think you were well raised? Up until I was a teenager

How do you handle stress? not well. 

Do you hide things well? Not really

If you had to choose between having one family member or 5 of your closest friends die who would you choose? I’d rather not. If I had to... family member. I’ve lost almost all of the good ones already anyway. And my friends are a precious few.

Do you see yourself ever being with someone you’ve been with before? No?

Would you rather live in a tiny apartment with 5 other people or a huge house by yourself that you felt was haunted? Huge house... if I didnt have to keep it up by myself.

How many piercings do you have? 0

Do you see yourself as a “good” person? No. No one is really good or bad. People are people. Everyone has their own ambitions. And a basic desire. People change all the time, nothing is set in stone.

Are your nails painted a dark or light color? N/a

Have you ever order pizza online? yes

What color was the last candle you lit? Cream?

Is there something written on your shirt right now? No

Is there a bookshelf in your room? no.

Do you own a treadmill? nope.

Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? yes.

What color was the last fish you had? Orangey

Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? Nah

Have you ever read in the bathtub? No

If you play the sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I imagine I would

Have you ever put ice cubes in milk? no.

Does your animal sleep with you? N/a

What do you use to remove your makeup at night? N/a

Do you have a favorite TV show that actually isn’t on air anymore Umm maybe. I think most of my favorites are still alive somewhere in TV land

Have you ever bought something off of iTunes? i don’t think so.

Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? nope.

Do you know how many pages the last book you read had? nope.

What day of the week does the laundry usually get done? Saturday

Do you use the Facebook chat often? daily.

Do you have any baby pictures of yourself on your computer? Nah

How many favorites do you have on youtube? hundreds

What channel is the food network? i dont have cable

Do you still write in pencil? sometimes

What brand is your foundation? n/a

What kind was the last chip you ate? Uhh doritos i think

Do you eat onion rings? not often but i love them.

When did you last go to the zoo? years ago

How many cardigans do you own? 1

What is your favorite song to play on guitarhero or rockband? none

What flavor of tea did you last have? Milos

Do you own a robe? yes

What was the last video you added to your favorites on YouTube? An upload of the new Puppet Master movie

Have you ever brushed your teeth and then drank orange juice? yeah

When was the last time you had pancakes or waffles? yesterday

Do you know anyone whose birthday is today? my step-mom

If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? I wouldn't exist so I wouldn't feel anything. That’s an upside. Can you imagine how bad you’d feel if you died? It’s a mercy we dont feel anything after.

Was the last person you texted under 18? no I dont believe any of the people ive texted are under 18

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? like two

Do you like hoodies? yes.

When was the last time you attended a wedding? May?

Have you had alcohol this week? uhhhhhhhh nope actually

What windows are open on your computer right now? You mean tabs? This, FB, another Tumblr, and youtube

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? yes Is there anything you are craving right now? affection

What’s the last thing you had to eat? rice and beef

Who were the last four people to text you? my dad, my step-mom, a couple friends

Do you have any morbid interests? nothing habitual

Do you know anyone whose birthday is tomorrow? no.

What was the last thing you found that you thought you lost forever? an earbud cover

Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop for the New Year? no

If you have a Twitter, do you use something else besides the computer to update your tweets? nope

Do you like potato salad? Ive never had one I liked

Who was the last person that apologized to you? my bff. It’s funny that I say sorry a lot but I dont hear it very often. only from him. hmm.

Have you ever driven and ended up running out of gas? no

When was the last time you uploaded pictures from your camera? months ago

Did you do the laundry today? yes

What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? wasnt sleepy

Did you straighten or curl your hair last? n/a

Have you ever been off-roading? yes

Was the last number you added to your cell phone a guy’s or girl’s number? a restaurant probably

Do you enjoy being a tease? kind of. not too much.

Have you ever had a UFO sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? nope.

Who was the last person you caught lying to you? eh i dont recall

How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? umm 19 ish?

Do you have a webcam that’s built into your computer or did it come separately? n/a

Was there ever a time that you lived on an island? I am an island. Shut up, Ben Howard.

Have you ever made a time capsule? I did in school

When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass? long time ago

What was the last casino you went to? N/a

Does it flood easily where you live? kind of

Let’s start out blunt, have you had sex in the last 12 hours? nope.

Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? no.

Does anything hurt on you? my foot

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? maybe

Do you look at the keyboard when you type? sometimes

Does it bother you when people respond to you with one word?   not really

Will you be up before 7:00 a.m. tomorrow? yes, many times

Do you like MySpace? i did back when it was popular.

Do you like glitter? its ok

Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? my mom

What’s the closest thing to you that’s liquid? 

my... pee?

Are your toe nails painted pink? no.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? no... I mean, i doubt it? maybe? who knows.

Are you excited for Saturday? I was until I hurt my foot

What are you listening to right now? Game Grumps

What is the most exciting place you have been to this year? Gatlinburg 

The shirt you’re wearing, does anyone else have it? possibly

Are you gonna be home tonight? yes.

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you? not if it stops there

Are you easily scared at horror films? not easily

If there was a large spider in the room, what would you say? Depends on how large and what kind

Do you have good memories with old friends? of course. 

How are you feeling right now? in pain

Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? oh yeah

How many friends do you have that have never smoked? a few

Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don’t talk to anymore? yes.

Are you missing someone? yes.

Did you have a dream last night? probably, i just don’t remember it.

Is it okay if you kiss people when you’re single? of course, as long as they’re single too.

Who did you last talk to on the phone? my dad

Have you held hands with anyone today? no.

Do you drop your phone a lot? nah

Your last ex says they never even liked you. You say? You dont exist?

When was the last time you saw your father? last weekend

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? Hmm. that’s a tough one. I use humor to cope a lot but I always try to remain within certain guidelines around certain people. it’s a lot to keep up with. Me? I can laugh at almost anything. Im pretty numb to most things. It doesnt come from a place of disrespect, but a need to laugh.

Would you say you’re an understanding person? mostly.

How is your life currently? it sucks.

What are you doing tomorrow morning? sleeping

Do you want to see somebody right now? sure.

How many people have you liked in the past 8 months? just the one.

Have you ever done anything illegal? yes

Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad? mom

What’s currently bothering you? my foot. looming anxiety over possibly being fired. being totally alone.

Have you thought about an ex today? no.

Are any of your friends taller than you? yes.

Did you do anything productive today? yes.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? To relive certain things, maybe. Barry Allen taught me not to fuck with the timeline

Today, did you hug a person you have feelings for? no

Do you wish at 11:11? nah

Are you currently in a relationship? no

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? apparently they are everything

Think of the last person who said “I love you” to you. Do you think they meant it? I guess. 

Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? yes.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? yes

If you could move somewhere else, would you? Depends but im mostly for it

Has a boy/girl called you babe or baby today? no.

How long were you with your last bf/gf? never

Would you ever let a girl/boy put you through hell and back? probably. im ripe for the abuse.

Have you ever gone out with anyone older than you? no

Do you think you will ever be married? probably not

Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes. that’s life

Is it possible to be single and happy? temporarily

Last time you wore something that didn’t belong to you? idk

Has anything happened in the past month that made you really happy? aside from food, not really. 

What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to your ex? n/a

How much money did you spend today? $0

Are you a rude person? to people who are rude

Would you ever think about painting your ceiling your favorite color? no. 

What’s something you’re excited for? Cyberpunk 2077

Does cuddling freak you out? A little. I dont like not being able to move

What do you think of maxi dresses? idk

What did the last text in your inbox say? From who? my phone’s in the other room...... >_>

What would you do if you saw a guy hit a girl? Call the police.

Have you ever gambled? yes.

Do you use tobacco products? not anymore

Would you ever go a week without showering? only if i had to

Would you ever date someone with a different skin color than you? Yeah

[charleshoyle]

We have been in too great a hurry.

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[justincaseitmatters]

Rewind: A Man and His Film

L.Q. Jones returns to KC with his cautionary tale, A Boy and His Dog

by Dan Lybarger KCActive.com April 14, 2010

At 82, character actor L.Q. Jones has a lot to be proud of. Even if his name doesn’t sound familiar, it’s a safe bet that he’s been in the movie theater with you or on your TV. The tall Texas-born actor with the craggy voice and a bushy mustache has been in The Wild Bunch, Casino, Gunsmoke, Hell is for Heroes, Rawhide and even the movie version of A Prairie Home Companion, directed by Kansas City’s own Robert Altman.

He’s collaborated with everyone from Elvis Presley to Marlon Brando to Meryl Streep to Martin Scorsese to Charlton Heston to Clint Eastwood to Sir Anthony Hopkins to Antonio Banderas.

Because he’s best known for starring in a long string of television and movie westerns, it initially seems odd that Jones is in his own words “inordinately proud” of having written and directed a 1975 science fiction film that has stayed in theaters like gum under the seats. This is despite the fact that  A Boy and His Dog has been on video and “Netflixable.”

The film received the 1976 Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation at the 34th World Science Fiction Convention-Mid America. Jones came to Kansas City to promote the film when it originally opened and will be returning to Cowtown with a new 35mm print on Saturday, 7 p.m., at the Tivoli Theater as part of KC FilmFest. Tickets are available at www.kcjubilee.org.

True vision

If Jones seems an unlikely custodian of science fiction writer Harlan Ellison’s vision of a world where the surface of the earth is a vast wasteland because of World War IV, a few minutes on the phone will let you know the source of the film’s droll, sardonic humor.

While setting up an interview, I told Jones I was looking forward to our conversation. He replied, “You may not think so after we’re through.” Before we eventually talked, he politely told his other caller, “Let me lie to this gentleman, and give me a buzz back in a couple of hours.”

When I informed him that I viewed the film online before the interview, he sounded almost sorry and said, “I can’t blow smoke at you because you’ve seen it. I can lie, but you’ll catch me at it.”

When I talked with him about the film’s print, I found out I hadn’t seen the movie properly. On VHS, the film was presented in pan and scan, which means that nearly a quarter of the picture was removed in order for the movie to fit on a standard television. Through much of the film, a pre-Miami Vice Don Johnson is wandering through the frame with only a dog for company, and the sense of loneliness gets lost in the narrower format.

Even on DVD or Blu-Ray, there are some subtle shots that need the big screen treatment. According to Jones, the opportunity to catch A Boy and His Dog on a theatrical screen was almost lost. “They said, you need to put (the movie on stock) where the negative will last 50 years,” he recalls. “Of course, it cost an arm and a leg, but that’s what we wanted to do, so we took it up. Then, of course, they came back and said, ‘Well, we do have a little problem. It doesn’t last 50 years. It’s barely lasted 30.’

“The picture was sliding off the negative. We were losing our picture. When I say losing it, I don’t mean it was totally falling off of the print. But everything was changing. Blues were going to greens. Greens were going to pinks. And everything’s shifting, which is bad for us.”

The restoration was additionally hampered by the fact that the film was shot in a process known as Technoscope, which was initially cheaper than 35 mm film because it took up half as much space. Unfortunately, the machines necessary to print the negatives aren’t readily available so the film had to be restored one frame at a time. This meant the restoration and the new prints took nearly three to four months to complete. Jones says, “When we got through, you have a product just like you shot the picture yesterday.”

Not your typical dog story

Part of the reason the film required restoration is that Jones and Ellison’s story is tricky and requires a clear image to be properly understood. To say the film is out of the mainstream is an understatement. After a prologue of nuclear warheads exploding (which was added in 1982), we hear a couple of voices talking as a scruffy, battered young man named Vic (Johnson) crawls along the ground along a seemingly endless desert. We hear both Johnson’s familiar nasal drawl with a deeper, unfamiliar voice.

   Tiger and Vic (Don Johnson) in A Boy and His Dog  

Jones says, “We start with the bottom of a shoe. The voice to most people is friendly, courteous, reverent. It’s a father speaking. It’s a brother, a mother. It’s a military man. It’s a professor that’s talking. It’s got all those timbres. And it starts telling you things your eye sees. You go, ‘Ah. It’s the truth. It knows what it’s talking about. It knows what it’s doing.’

“Incidentally, the voice is coming from a dog.”

The animal in question is Blood, played by Tiger, the dog who starred in The Brady Bunch. He has the disembodied voice of Tim McIntire, who also provided some of the film’s music. Blood, through reasons that are only alluded to in the film, can communicate telepathically with Vic and is smarter, more compassionate and more perceptive than any human being left in the world.

“You realize the only smart human thing in the picture is the dog. All the rest of the things have become animals,” says Jones. “Believe it or not, I’m trying to get you to think. If we don’t get our head out of our fanny, what’s on the screen in A Boy and His Dog is going to happen. That’s the way the world’s going to end up if we don’t stop being so damn greedy and beating up on each other.”

This especially applies to the uncouth Vic, who seeks out women for sex when he’s not scrounging for food. Johnson was an unusually brave performer because he played second fiddle to Tiger. Jones recalls Tiger may indeed have been as bright as the character he was playing.

“No matter how brilliant, you can’t teach any animal sequential tricks. You can teach them to do one, maybe even two, but that’s it,” Jones says. “I said, ‘Tiger, god dammit, you’re on the wrong side of the boiler. I can’t see you. I’m talking to the dog. I’m not talking to the trainer. The dog stays glued to (Johnson’s knee). He stays with him. When Don stops, the dog stops, the way an actor should.”

The dog then proceeds to change positions and bursts into tears on cue in a single take. “Now think about that, sports fans. There are eight tricks in a row. I can’t teach a human actor to do that, and the dog did it in one take,” says Jones. “I accused (trainer) Joe Hornok of reading him the script every night because the damn dog knew what to do that day,” Jones says.

Local vibe

Although the film was shot in California, some of the film’s success can be tied to some intended and unintended local ties. Johnson was a born in Flat Creek, MO, grew up in Kansas and went to college at KU. According to Jones, Johnson was seen as a promising talent during the mid-‘70s, even if he wasn’t a household name yet.

“He was doing big pictures, but he wasn’t making an imprint. I talked to a little over 500 people for the male and female (Susanne Benton) leads in the picture. I worked on that for, good heaven, a year and a half to see if I had the right person. In watching Don work, I knew he could do it, and he does a marvelous job. The old adage is don’t ever work with dogs. Nobody’s even saying don’t work with talking dogs, but he did, and he made it work,” says Jones.

Another local connection isn’t immediately obvious. Later in the film, Vic is lured into a subterranean community that seems like a nightmarish parody of small-town life before the nuclear war. The bizarre community resembles Silver Dollar City on crack, only without any willing tourists. Ellison and Jones named it “Topeka.”

As a native of Kansas’ capital, I had to ask him why he and Ellison chose that name for the dystopia, he first quips, “No. Google. You’re now Google.”

“I really don’t. I tried to stay as close to what Harlan what was doing in the book. I’m used to the name. I’ve been there. I know what the people are like. It’s comfortable, Middle America. I said, ‘Hey, it’ll work.’ I’ve asked Harlan. You can talk to Harlan about things like this. Eventually, you realize he doesn’t know what he’s saying anyway.”

According to Jones, Kansas City was where he faced the most puzzling question about his five-year labor of love with A Boy and His Dog. When a radio host asked him why he made it and wouldn’t accept what Jones told him, the director mulled the question for months.

“The real, real answer is they told me I could not do it. That made me so mad that made me say, ‘By God, I’ll show you,’ he says.

While most films or television shows might employ dozens of animals to play a single character. A Boy and His Dog was entirely dependent on Tiger.

“Do you know what we were going to do if the dog didn’t work or if the dog got sick?” Jones asks. He then answers, “Me. I had makeup. I had wardrobe. I was going to be the dog, as a character, not as a dog, of course.”

“We’ve got one dog. His stand-in was a stuffed toy. If he steps on nail or a piece of glass, we’re done. We’ve got 52 tons of crap to build our sets: everything broken, rusty wires, crap, junk from hospitals. If something happens to the dog, I put on the stuff, and I become a human character. That’s losing 99 percent of what’s making it work. But that’s better than not getting the picture done at all. From listening to everybody, they told me it couldn’t be done.”

He laughs, “They were right. I couldn’t do it.

[lazybarbarians]

Star Wars: Catalyst: A Rogue One Story by James Luceno

Ragnell: So, after a brief break last week (it was a holiday), we read Star Wars: Catalyst: A Rogue One Novel which you know is extra fun because it has an extra colon!

This novel is a prequel to the prequel everybody likes, set sequentially after the other 3 prequels that nobody likes. It takes place before the events of Rogue One. Spoilers, they build a Death Star. (Extra spoilers, a magic teenager from the middle of fucking nowhere blows it up.) But for those of you who watched that movie and ask “How did these people get into this situation?” then this is the book for you.

Kalinara: also, if you watched and thought “is it just me, or is Krennic really kind of obsessed with Jyn’s dad?” This book seems to clarify: yes, yes he is.

R: I must warn you, that this book contains graphic depictions of social climbing, child care, bureaucracy, workplace competition, shameless use of high school contacts for your own professional advancement, and several instances of unadulterated exposition about the nature of kyber crystals. Which power lightsabers.

Also, Lightsabers do not appear in this book. Not even once. Not even in a flashback.

We open with Galen and Lyra Erso, a pacifist scientist and his religious environmentalist wife, trying to synthesize kyber crystals on Vallt, a neutral planet in the Clone Wars while Lyra takes notes and prepares for impending motherhood. Just their luck there’s an insurrection and they get captured in an attempt to make Galen work for the Separatist. So poor Jyn is born while her father’s in prison. But not to fear, Krennic is here! Lt Commander Krennic, who knows Galen from Smart Dude School, arranges for their rescue because he thinks Galen’s specialty will really help him get to the Front Row of researchers on the Super-Secret Battle Station Project they have been assigned to.

Krennic uses a smuggler to get them out, and then destroys the new Vallt government for Orbit. Galen, of course, does not accept a military job immediately and instead offers Krennic a way out of military service. Which is sweet but a major character misjudgment So Krennic greases the works of the Republic so that Galen can’t leave Coruscant, and is bored out of his skull and eventually accepts a mind-numbing QA position on another planet. Towards the end of the war, that planet gets the shit bombed out of it and the Ersos again have to flee back to Coruscant. But the war is over! And the Jedi are dead! So, no need for a military job, right?

Still, Galen does need a job so it’s Krennic to the rescue again. With a “clean energy research project” using kyber crystals. He even has a suitcase full of them. Which Lyra points out probably came form the lightsabers of murdered Jedi but really, he’s offering the chance to build UNLIMITED ENERGY for the New Galactic Empire. That can’t be sinister, right?

Little does Galen know, Krennic’s been working behind the scenes at the Empire, convincing Palpatine’s Vice, Mas Amedda (Remember the creepy blue dude with the horns and headtails? He gets lines!) to back him while he maneuvers against Governor Tarkin to gain influence and monitors the Ersos to make sure Lyra’s not radicalizing her husband.

The time goes on and Galen gets more into his work, and Lyra gets offworld with a friend and gets to see the environmental devastation being wrought by the Empire on protected lands. And things aren’t adding up from their POV. They finally have a talk about it, then confront Krennic. Krennic handles the confrontation so poorly it confirms he’s evil and that Galen’s research has been weaponized. Fortunately, this coincides with Krennic using his favorite smuggler against Tarkin, and Tarkin sending the guy back to Coruscant to make him a spy in Krennic’s organization. Because no one in the fucking Empire gives a fucking fucking about their actual job except guys like Galen Erso who lose faith in the system when they realize their labor has been twisted to evil. Of course, because Krennic used the same smuggler to escort Lyra off-world before, and because the smuggler knows Saw Gerrera this blows up in both Krennic and Tarkin’s faces because he arranges to distract Krennic and smuggle them off Coruscant.

The book ends on some really sweet interaction between Jyn and Saw, and promises that the beginning of the movie is just a few years away.

I do enjoy tie-in books, because I can always picture the actors in their roles. (And through the miracle of the internet can find images of them at the age they’d be during a prequel!) I have long had a problem with Star Wars books, though, because I always have to look up the species online to picture them. But that’s just a small nitpick. If a Star Wars books is funny, quick-paced and adventurous with an engaging hero I can get over that. Oddly, this book is… none of those things. I don’t hate it, I kinda liked it, but if not for the movie I think it’d have bugged me.

K: It’s definitely a “prequel of a prequel” situation. As a stand alone novel, it’s definitely lacking. There really isn’t an overall plot, as I’d define one. And while we have an effective villain, we’re stuck in a position where we can’t get a lot of closure, because that closure will happen in Rogue One itself. As a prequel though, it’s pretty effective.

R: See, this book starts off very very slow. Krennic is the most interesting viewpoint character early on, though it picks up when they bring in Tarkin. (Man I love Tarkin.) Can’t say I grew fond of Has or would’ve been sad if he’d died.

K: This book definitely utilized Krennic well. I think Krennic, like Tarkin, and probably Hux in TFA, represent an interesting, almost banal type of evil. They may get a grandiose gesture or two, but the true nature of their triumphs and schemes are not going to be showcased in a movie like Star Wars. The quiet machinations, social climbing, sneaky backroom financial dealings and so on could perhaps make a good sci-fi version of House of Cards, but they’re not going to waste a filming budget on that when we could have lightsabers instead.

But that’s where books like this one can come in handy. In Catalyst, we get to see Krennic at his most effective. He really is more than just the hapless ineffectual douche that Tarkin and Vader metaphorically shove into a locker.

R: I knew the final fates of the Ersos, so it was hard to get too engaged with them. After a while, I got into the second part, though, I got invested. Galen and Lyra start to come alive after then. Lyra’s faith becomes evident in her reactions to the anti-Jedi propaganda and the kyber crystals, and her husband slowly starting to parrot that stuff. We get to see her keep her head and her wits about her as the Emperor, aided by legions of guys like Krennic and Tarkin, rewrites reality. We can see how a man like Galen Erso ended up in the situation he was in, how naive he could be, how he meant well but couldn’t resist when everything he wanted was placed on a silver platter in front of him with the label “Cruelty-Free!”, and how his curiosity and desire to understand the kyber crystals had him rationalizing all sorts of things away.

K: I really liked Galen and Lyra too. We got to appreciate Galen a bit during Rogue One, of course, as someone forced into Imperial service but taking what steps he can to get the word out and sabotage what he’s created. But here we get to see exactly how he fell into that situation. And it’s very sympathetic.

One thing that I think tends to get lost when we discuss older Imperial characters, whether they be the real assholes like Tarkin and Krennic, or more hapless ones like Galen, is that they didn’t start off as Imperials. They started out as soldiers or scientists of the Republic. Palpatine was the Chancellor before he was the Empire, and he had a very long time to lay the groundwork of his most evil deeds long before he named himself Emperor, or Darth Vader came blasting into the picture. The true change from Republic to Empire, from flawed-but-fundamentally-well-meaning-democracy to a totalitarian dictatorship was slow and gradual, and a lot of people were blind to what was happening until it was too late.

R: With this book we see different levels of that too. We see how Has, Galen, Krennic, and Tarkin all ended up sliding into the Imperial machine due to the Clone Wars, for different motivations and different rewards and different levels of satisfaction.

K: Lyra’s faith was an interesting note, and something that I’ve really liked about the new Disney canon. In the old Expanded Universe, the Jedi were very much like Han describes them in A New Hope: hokey religious practitioners with little to no connection to every day life. Even after Luke brings back the Jedi Order, they are very separated from the day to day life of the citizens of the Republic.

The Disney canon so far, from Catalyst, Rogue One, Heir to the Jedi and so on, have painted a different picture of the way that the Jedi and the Force interact with common people. A woman like Lyra, who has never met a Jedi in her life, can still venerate the kyber crystals and their connection to the Force. The rebels still give Jedi blessings. Different cultures still tell stories of those of their number who went off to become Jedi, and treasure their heirlooms. It becomes clear in the new canon that Han’s dismissal of the Jedi, or that Admiral who scorned Vader and got choked for his trouble, are yet other demonstrations of Palpatine’s powers and machinations. He’s cut the Jedi off from common, ordinary people. That’s not the natural state of events.

I think maybe when we do see Luke’s idea of a Jedi Order, we’ll see something very different from the isolated little boarding school/temple on Yavin IV. But maybe something more organically linked to the people. (And hopefully something that would allow more to survive/escape Kylo’s treachery.)

R: I like that aspect too. It must be leading up to whatever we’ll see Luke set up, and I really don’t want the later purge to have been as effective as the first. I think there should be a handful running around who’ll show up in the next two movies.

I also like the Jedi being a specialized practitioner of a faith that is actually pretty widespread. They’re like priests in the Disney canon, which suits Luke a lot. In Shattered Empire Rucka has Luke planning an espionage mission with a volunteer pilot, and killing a bunch of Imperials during it, but afterwards Luke and the volunteer sit down and discuss whether or not she should leave the army. Not from the point of view of whether or not it’s good for the Alliance, but whether or not it’s the right choice for her. Like a Chaplain would. And it’s a role that really fits Luke Skywalker’s character arc

Of course, even with that in mind the Sith-Jedi thing is still a sectarian dispute. So after Palpatine has cut off the Jedi from the common people, and driven belief in the Force underground… has he replaced it with anything? Are there non-Sith Force-believers out there who are like a dark side version of the Guardian of the Whills or Church of the Force?

Aside form that, I wish we’d had more Saw. I thought the end bit with him was lovely, and very sad in light of his role in the movie. In the early years of the Empire, saw Gerrera greeted defectors with kind words and admiration. By the time of the Death Star, he’s so paranoid he tortures the messenger and holds the message in terrified uncertainty about its truth. It’s tragic.

And, much as I grouse, I appreciate a little exposition on kyber crystals. They’re confusing little things. I guess, with this book establishing they can’t be easily synthesized they’re even more confusing (are the Sith using natural crystals or do they just have a method?), but it’s good to have a little material on them and know how difficult it was to power the Death Star.

But really, if anything’s worth reading in this book, it’s the inner workings of the Empire. Rogue One let us know both the Empire and the Rebellion were logistical nightmares. Rebels tells us why the Rebellion is so screwed up. Catalyst tells us why the Empire is so screwed up. How all of the secrecy and backbiting and political jockeying that has run rampant in Palpatine’s organization is doing in the Empire piece by piece. But going by the Vader-Emperor relationship in ESB and ROTJ, we can surmise that in-fighting is a top-down trend.

[tsunamikiss]

Quarentine 2020

it’s been around 5 weeks now since The state of Florida University system announced on-site classes were all transferring to remote-online class sessions. 

At first the announcement stated this tumultuous period would only take place for the two weeks following the announcement. 

This was the first week on Mach, I will always remember because i had a programing assignment due in class on Thursday, the official date the transition would be put into effect. 

Now I’m just thinking... 

how fortunate we are to already have a widely accepted education system in place running over the world wide web. 

Web/apps like canvas and blackboard have grown in popularity across school systems in the United States, allowing students to view each of their courses, and all the information they will need access to pertaining to each, in order to be be on task, updated, and have access to the resourced needed to complete and submit work according to guidelines and deadlines. 

Over the last 5 years, technology has also been increasingly adapted by some early education systems like middle and high schools, transitioning all their textbooks, homework, and assignments, using online tools.  

Fortunately these technological advancements , have facilitated at least some of the academic challenges that emerged from the global pandemic currently affecting  and ramping through the United States . Having  recently studied the “Digital Divide” that exists globally , between state lines and around neighborhood corners, I can’t do anything but feel saddened by those without access to technology or living under circumstances that keep them from continuing their academic studies. 

Only a couple of  days after the initial announcement that onsite classes would transition to remote learning , the Florida University’s School Systems announced that the remote learning period would be extended for the remaining weeks of the semester. 

During the first two weeks of “quarantine” - the generic term we are all using to describe this “lockdown”, everything for me felt like a familiar experience. living in South Florida, a state that experiences strong hurricanes almost every year, extreme grocery shopping, and preparing to bunker down for a few days/ weeks , expecting most businesses to shut down, bunkering down for “social distancing” was not something I found to feel extraneous or difficult. I must confess however, I did not think It would extend past the initial two weeks. 

it has now been 5 weeks since the shockwaves of this virus ( coronaVirus) hit South Florida, and I personally experienced it’s effect on every day life.

Since then, the state of Florida Finally announced an official state wide lock down, there are beginning to enforce ‘must be wearing face mask” policies at popular chain stores like Publix, and Walgreens, many  small business  have been forced to close, and almost every restaurant on Uber eats is offering free delivery, probably to make up for the revenue lost since people are not dinning or visiting their physical location.

Another fortunate thing about this time for me is that coincidentally I was only enrolled for two classes this Spring semester, with only one of the two being remote. My on site class is programming2 , a pretty difficult class mainly because my registration delays forced me into the only open course remaining taught by none other than the worst rated professor at the university teaching this specific course. His multiplex assignments and rigorous grading policies and procedures has proved to be as challenging as I expected, giving me mini heart attacks as I worked through the assignments which grew perpetually as the submission deadline grew near. Still, i must admit the strict guidelines and high skills required have definitely made me a better programer than I was before this course started. 

Virtual classes have taken place at the same time as regular classes were scheduled to take place on-site, using a newly popular application called Zoom. The online classes have all gone smoothly and i actually really have loved the way in which my professor has facilitated them, and I have been able to learn conformably and keep up with the material being discussed each week. 

Perhaps I should start a blog about this “quarentine”, “social- distancing”, “lockdown”, “pandemic,” we are all in right now. 

apparently the words are vomiting out of me and i could right a book on this all right now. Here I have just mentioned not even a few of my thoughts on the current events pertaining to only/mainly one subject : school. 

But as much as I’d love to write this book right there, right now, as the words run out from my finger tips, all across this keyboard.... 

I have been procrastinating starting my final programming assignment for a week, it is due on Thursday, it is very long, very hard, I haven’t started, I’m pretty fucked, but it’s ok.. I got this... I’m going to try as hard as I can, considering my passing of this course depends on it. Even though my school is allowing student to choose between the option to count final grade for courses taken during this Semester , thus being computed into our GPA, orrrrrr choosing the Pass/Fail option, meaning if you pass the course, you get the credit , but if you fail you don’t get the credit but either way pass or fail, your GPA is not considered nor affected, I need to kill this assignment some way somehow , ANDDD do somehow amazing on the final coming up, because I can not, I repeat CAN NOT, keep being held back from advancing in the course track of my Computer Science major, delaying my graduation date further and further, andddd wasting more and more money. by wasting, I mean having to respend the same X amount of money of the same class. 

Ok, brb going to start this reading, notes, program, and craziness ive been procrastinating a million episodes of a million netflix/hulu/hbo/.. shows later. 

[daleisgreat]

Dale’s Top 36 Gaming Experiences of 2018

Greetings dear readers and welcome to my annual top gaming experiences/moments/favorite games I played in 2018 that may or may not have released in 2018 round-up!!! Consider this my personal greatest hits compilation of my year in videogames that was 2018! Buckle up buck-a-roos because I am going to take you on a several thousand word journey as I count you down my handpicked top 33 gaming ‘experiences’ of the year! This is not going to be any other ordinary quick scroll through of listed top games of the year because almost anything I did gaming related qualifies for a ‘experience’ in 2018. That experience could be my overall time I invested into a certain game or series of games I decided to lump into one list item, or it could be a certain other piece of gaming memorabilia, news item that really struck me or a memorable gaming session with friends and family that makes it perfectly eligible for the list! So if you have not by now then use your favorite bookmark app (I recommend Pocket) or ‘control + d’ to manually bookmark this page to revisit this feast of words because it is going to take some time to consume! For optimal experience I highly recommend a big cup of coffee and blaring one of those 10-hour YouTube videos of ambient rain because that is exactly what I did to craft this beast! Speaking of YouTube videos I linked to a whole boatload of them throughout the rankings from trailers for most games I discuss and moments that really popped for me if you so desire to click them for a reference to the corresponding footage. If you managed to finish this monster and dare to seek out my similar takes on previous years of gaming experiences then I triple-dog-dare you to check out my write-ups for my best of 2017 and best of 2016 gaming spectaculars. Enough with this intro, to the list we go! ---Recommended – This is Bonkers Long So Please Read This in the Suggested Installments--- Part 1 - Rankings 36 through 31 Part 2 - Rankings 30 through 24 Part 3 - Rankings 23 through 18 Part 4 - Rankings 17 through 14 Part 5 - Rankings 13 through 10 Part 6 - Rankings 9 through 4 Part 7 - Rankings 3 through 1 PART 1 - RANKINGS 36 THROUGH 31 36) Telltale & Prima RIP I hate to kickoff this list with a downer, but that is why this is at the bottom of the list. The saga of Telltale announcing its closing in 2018 was quite the affair with all the misguided reactionary hoopla. It initially leaned towards fan outcry of Telltale now being unable to finish the final season of its acclaimed Walking Dead line of episodic games it was in the middle of releasing getting more attention over the developers who lost their jobs and benefit plans. Things were getting heated in the wrong ways real quick, but there was a modicum of redemption with fellow videogame developers reaching out and picking up many of the laid off and publisher Skybound Studios picking up the rights for the remaining episodes of the final season of The Walking Dead and following up that announcement with good news of Skybound being able to re-hire most of the original developers who did not already land jobs elsewhere.

I feel I wronged Telltale this year by having 2018 be the first year in several years where I did not complete a season of a Telltale game. Tales of the Borderlands and both seasons of Batman are in my massive ‘want to play’ stack, and now with The Walking Dead being on its way to being concluded I now feel obligated to pick up where I left off after finishing season two a few years ago. Prima closing up surprisingly resonated with me. They have been the constant major publisher of videogame strategy guides for what seems like an eternity. Part of me is surprised Prima hung around this long with how easy it is to reference GameFAQs and other online guides, wikis and YouTube playthroughs for free in an instant. I prefer to go that route too, but I would occasionally pick up a Prima guide and would prefer their more detailed layouts and maps when playing Fallout 3 and Skyrim than compared to what an average text GameFAQs guide can offer. I will also give a shoutout to their supplementary NES & SNES Now You’re Playing Power/Super Power guides/nostalgia books that launched alongside the NES & SNES Classic. Both feature lots of vintage scans from Nintendo Power alongside new interviews with developers, pro speedrunners and creators of fan art, music and website communities. When I heard of their closure I went out and ordered Prima guides for other Bethesda games like Fallout 4 and New Vegas. When I went to file them away I hung my head in shame to see I already procured the Fallout 4 guide awhile back, so now I have two copies of that one. Backup copy! There will still be other specialty strategy guide publishers (major props to FanGamer’s guides!), but none with the presence or outreach of Prima established. 35) Non Virtual Boy VR Last year in the round-up I stated how I have too many reservations about getting on board with the VR craze that has swept up a segment of the gaming world and that I will stick with my Virtual Boy for my VR needs. My Extra Life friends Chris and Lyzz have a Playstation VR headset and had me try it out at their place in 2018 and after trying out a couple games in PSVR…..I was impressed, but still not sold on it overall. I played one or two of the mini-games on the PSVR Worlds mini-game collection that came with the peripheral. I then played about a half hour of London Heist. That experience was a memorable one as I got to admit it was cool looking around the gangster hideouts while being tied up and taking in the unique 360 camera of my surroundings that is only possible in a VR experience. The gameplay was on the money too in some shooting gallery segments and eventually a car chase portion that was the highlight of my time with London Heist.

I was relieved I did not suffer from any of the motion sickness I heard wide varieties of minor and severe reports of from VR players. Then again I only played PSVR for only an hour. I have kept up with the games hitting PSVR since its launch and in its first couple years it has built a library of several games that appear to hold their own as premiere VG single player experiences with bonafide hits such as Moss, Astrobot and Farpoint. After some legit hands-on time with PSVR I will maintain my reservations on VR in general. The price entry point is way too high and I would rather spend the money needed for starting off a proper PSVR experience in upgrading my PC instead. It requires a lot of cumbersome setup, it is a safety hazard by completely blocking off your surroundings and finally after playing for a mere hour my face felt like it was sat on for many more hours after removing the headset. I may try out VR down the line at friend’s places or wherever I run into it at and will likely enjoy my time with it, but as far as owning VR goes I will continue to be happy with my Virtual Boy and reliving the complete Virtual Boy experience in 2019 with Jeremy Parish’s Vitual Boy Works line of videos. 34) Hadoken 2018

If you do not have it already on last-gen systems, I still would recommend Ultra Street Fighter IV as it collects nearly all the DLC characters and costumes and goes on sale digitally frequently. It was a hit revisiting with Chris, but the surprise SF hit among us online was Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection. Aside from collecting 12 of the earliest SF games, it made four of them online and Capcom had a slick online lobby system to make it quick and seamless to jump from playing one version of SF to another. Chris and I got lots of fights in throughout the year and I also did about 20 fights in online ranked lobbies against random opponents in hopes of getting just one win to get a trophy. That proved to be a brutal endeavor as my assumptions of my meek hadoken skills hoping to get lucky once were foolish as I lost every time (thought a couple of times I won once out of three…yay?). The worst was when higher skilled opponents would sit there and wait for me to come at them before schooling me with counter attacks. That happened even worse in Mortal Kombat X online against randoms, but as they say, practice makes perfect. 33)Mass Effect Andromeda Novels I have seen nobody talking about these…probably because of how lackluster Mass Effect Andromeda was received. I was a huge fan of all four novels published concurrently alongside the original Mass Effect Trilogy and they helped fleshed out the story between games and gave a ton of back story to characters I was thrilled to see finally appear in the third game. I had no idea publisher Titan Books were releasing novels set in the Andromeda universe until about a year after the first one hit. Just a few months ago they released the third of the planned four books set in the Andromeda timeline.

I finished the first two books and enjoyed both of them. I gave more thorough reviews on my GoodReads account and will link to them here. For the quick breakdown though Nexus Uprising deals with a crisis of the Nexus mothership arriving at Andromeda attacked by a mysterious ‘scourge’ and the hysteria that results with its limited crew in charge of a ship barely hanging onto survival. Nexus Uprising leads right into the start of the Andromeda game. Initiation has a new Andromeda recruit fresh off her seven years of Asari training traveling for one last mission before journeying to Andromeda where the new recruit encounters a hostile VI/AI in a facility she must now survive and rescue as many survivors along with her. The latest book, Annihilation, I am only halfway through and I regret to report that I am just not feeling this one. Annihilation explains why about a third of the original Mass Effect races are not in the Andromeda game as it goes into detail why they all took a separate ship there that wound up having a disastrous journey. I enjoyed the peripheral races in the original games in nice little spurts, but having a book focusing entirely on the volus, elcor, drell and a couple other races so far has been a slog to get through. I will keep my fingers crossed it picks up in the second half. 32) HDMI Cables for Retro Consoles The past couple of years have seen an emerging trend of either having deluxe HDMI conversion kits for older systems to display at their proper resolutions on newer TVs or having third parties re-release older systems like the NES and SNES with new HD capabilities. Those are great options to have if you want a pristine picture on your HDTV for retro gaming goodness, but they cost a premium and 2018 saw manufacturer Pound release their HDMI cables for SNES, Dreamcast, Xbox and PS2 all for around $30 each. I picked up the Dreamcast and PS2 cables, but have only had time to test out the DC cables so far. I dug out the Dreamcast and tested out several games with regular cables and then the Pound cables and noticed a definite improvement in the graphics! They no longer have that washed out ‘muddiness’ look when I would ordinarily run a SD system on a HDTV with composite/RCA cables. There was a minor caveat where I noticed a minor background graphical effect in menus and only when I took the time to squint and stare during gameplay, but other than that this was a much affordable alternative. I found out about these from YouTuber, MetalJesus and you can see his coverage of it by clicking here with plenty of before and after comparisons to see if they may be what you are looking for. 31) Father’s Day Gaming I have nostalgic memories of the many long gaming sessions I had with my dad and siblings while spending weekend visitations with him. We went all the way back to the original Pong and Atari 2600 in my childhood years through the NES, SNES and finally N64 during my high school years. While I have wonderful moments of many games with the family in each era the N64 years were the ones I cherished the most because of the ease of four player multiplayer with its four controller ports which was perfect for my dad, my brother Joe and either my sister Ann or another friend that would be over to helm the fourth player spot. Almost a couple hours of every visitation during that time we played countless hours of competitive N64 multiplayer.

That was many years ago though since we regularly played, and while thinking of ideas for what to do for Father’s Day this past year instead of going out for dinner and catching a movie like we would usually do I threw out the idea of staying in and having pizza and doing an N64 gaming day. I was delighted to hear my dad and brother were both up for it and thank goodness the games still held up and were just as much fun to play as they were around 20 years ago. My dad loved New Tetris and was a total pro and would be in a trance when he used to play it all the time so I was mighty curious to see how well he remembered it all these years later. We were all a little rusty, but we all got back into the rhythm of things after a few minutes and it was like we did not miss a beat. I am always disheartened to hear New Tetris get overlooked when I was hearing multiple discussions of past great Tetris games when Tetris Effect took the gaming community by storm in 2018. New Tetris was the first 3-4 player console Tetris game and also the first home console game to debut the incredibly handy ‘hold piece’ which is why New Tetris ranked right up there with Tengen Tetris, OG GameBoy Tetris and Tetris DS for my favorite versions of the legendary puzzle game. We also played a hefty amount of Mario Kart 64 and GoldenEye 007. I have heard the countless debates over the years, and I will forever contest the N64 Mario Kart as the pinnacle of the series. I have also heard the many people proclaim that GoldenEye is an outdated mess all these years later. Every two or three years I bust out GoldenEye and the same thing happened here as before, after a few minutes of adjusting to the graphics and controls the game had its hooks in us again and we were having intense rounds of deathmatch with muscle memories suddenly kicking in of our favorite map and weapon presets. The three of us went on to have many rounds of fun blowing the crap out of each other! I have been watching Giant Bomb’s line of recent Die Another Friday videos where they try and run through the campaign in Perfect Agent difficulty. Instead of the expected jokes about how dated the graphics were I was relieved to see that most of the GB crew eventually were legit surprised at how fun GoldenEye still is. ---YouTube Break From This Already Way Too Long List--- A semi-decent laugh should be had at this point for a breather. Behold, the greatest Family Feud moment of all time! Now witness Always Sunny’s blatant ripoff tribute to that legendary game show when the cast competes on the exact same style of show they call Family Fight! PART 2 - RANKINGS 30 THROUGH 24 30) Videogames in Theatrical Form Longtime followers of my work may recall my podcasting days where my co-hosts and I would go out of our way to track down and cover almost every major and obscure videogame licensed film that hit theaters or direct-to-video. Minus a few exceptions, they were usually painful experiences. Even though my podcasting days are behind me I still like to keep up the tradition of catching any new film that hits the theater or video that is based on or around videogames. 2018 I managed to catch four new films that fit the criteria. The new Tomb Raider featuring Alicia Vikander as the one and only Lara Croft was solid, but nothing spectacular. It had a handful of memorable stunts and captured a few of the moments I recall from the acclaimed self-titled reboot game in 2013 so on the videogame film curve I would categorize that as a ‘win.’ Rampage featuring The Rock totally surprised me how they were able to get a fun movie out of a straightforward arcade smash-em-up from the 80s. Within a half hour I was feeling for the monsters and Rock’s connection for them was surprisingly powerful. Really good stuff that you should not dismiss!

Looking back on Ready Player One several months after its release I can safely recommend it. I loved the book when I read it shortly after its release several years ago and I was somewhat conflicted coming out of the film. This is because of how far it strayed from the book yet essentially maintained a similar over-arching plot on how a world full of gamers playing the same VR game are tracking down the creator’s hidden ‘easter egg’ in order to inherit his riches and become his heir. Avid game player I am I could not help but keep my eyes peeled for as many as ‘blink-and-you-will-miss-it’ cameos from the beloved mascots of videogames and pop culture from over the years. After hearing how the author wrote the screenplay and gave his seal of approval for the changes I eventually was won over by them especially since the changes were entertaining and since the film came out only four or five years after the book it could have been a slog to see the movie play out 100% the same. To close off 2018 a few weeks ago I took two of my many nieces and nephews to see Wreck-It Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet. That was a unique experience because my middle-school aged niece and nephew were ecstatic to point out a couple of YouTubers they follow that have cameos in the film. The sequel had a similar structure to the first where the first 20-ish minutes circle around Ralph and Vanellope loving life in their arcade they reside and visiting other arcade classics of gaming lore. I love how Tapper got a lot of love in the film with Ralph and Vanellope making that game setting their late-night watering hole of choice! Eventually though their arcade gets hooked up to WiFi and it was fun seeing Ralph and Vanellope take a journey in Disney’s CG version of the Internet with lots of real-life companies like Google, Amazon, etc. having their own fun representations in the film. This sequel was a big hit with me and once I got past the welcomed videogame references in the first 20 minutes I enjoyed Wreck-It Ralph 2’s overall plot exponentially more than the first film. 29) Yippee-Kay-Yay-Mutha….. For readers of this blog who may or may not also keep up with my film reviews here, I recently reviewed Die Hard in honor of it being a Christmas film classic (yes, I am one of those people). It should go without saying that Die Hard is one the all-time greatest action films, and after watching it again a few weeks ago I recalled how there were a few PSone and GameCube games I had vague memories of fairly decent receptions at the time and after discovering how low they were priced on eBay I decided to take a chance on them. I loved the arcade game, but do not own a Saturn so I did not hunt down that version, but got the two PSone Die Hard Trilogy games and Die Hard: Vendetta on GameCube. I have not had a chance to play them yet, but I have since watched a few entertaining Game Informer Replay videos on them revisiting these ‘gems’ to varying degrees of quality all these years later that will suffice for now until I get around to them. Here are a few links so you can check them out and do the same! 28) ….And Raging Justice….For All

I referenced in these round-ups before how every few years my friend Matt and I would marathon several random beat-em-up classics usually consisting of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and X-Men variety. The last time we did that was around 2015, and the current gen systems have been flooded with a quality amount of re-releases of classics and obscure releases and all-new installments in the genre that we have been neglecting for far too long. Just a couple weeks ago Matt and I finally got around to playing through one of them on the PS4 called Raging Justice. It had a similar look and feel to Final Fight, but with a slightly pastel-esque touch to the graphics that made the late ‘80s punk ooze right out of the game! The story had all kinds of goofy street punk gang warfare that we both ate up and we were really gelling in our playthrough and we were surprisingly not eating up that many lives. As a matter of fact we only went through one continue between both of us! After plowing through it within two hours we made a list of other similar new beat-em-ups that hit PS4/XB1 over the years so hopefully we will do better at sticking with this genre in 2019. 27) Now You’re Playing With a Power……ed Up NES/SNES Classic

If you do not want to go down the route listed above by hunting down HDMI cables for a system you do not own or a pricey HD-capable 3rd party version of a NES/SNES than there are a couple of grey-area alternatives. I talked about the RetroPie in last year’s round-up, so this year I want to focus on what people are calling ‘modding’ your NES/SNES Classic. I am not going to give you a step-by-step breakdown, but a quick Google/YouTube search will point you in the right direction. Once it is done you can add up to as many games that will fit in the Classic’s internal memory. If you stick with just NES games you can fit a majority of the NES’s library on the internal memory, SNES game sizes are noticeably bigger and if only going that route with ROMs you can fit roughly 200 of them on there…..that is if you in good faith own the original copies. There is a nice benefit to the NES/SNES Classic compared to the RetroPie and that is a friendlier user interface complete with upbeat background music and the ability to upload your own box art which ostensibly delivers the nostalgic sensation of browsing the shelves at a videogame rental store and thus is more appealing than scrolling through a large text box of games on a RetroPie. Since the NES/SNES Classic is HDMI it provides an excellent HD picture for these classic 8 and 16-bit games. This resulted in busting out both the NES & SNES Classic several times throughout 2018 for some free spirited gaming nights. 26) Tabletop/Pen and Paper Madness

I referenced last year how I started to get into semi-routinely board game nights with my friends Derek, Ryan and Brooke and we managed to keep the board game nights churning throughout 2018. Derek & Brooke have amassed a hearty collection of board games and we were able to rotate a fair amount of games from last year and new ones to try out this year. One of the board games we revisited often was Betrayal at House on Haunted Hill, and they release a spin-off called Betrayal at Baldur’s Gate we were all eager to try throughout the year. We finally busted it out on a day where my brother was able to join us and it was a great medieval themed take on the original game that did not disappoint. Another new board game we tried out was Elder Signs. Thank goodness Derek, Ryan and Brooke are awesome tutors because the game had an elaborate setup with many pieces and by about halfway through our session I was familiar enough with the play style that yielded a fantastic end to that round when all of us were able to mount an insurmountable comeback that resulted in an unlikely, thrilling win for us all! Shifting from tabletop gaming to pen and paper gaming, I have always been a fan of the SNES/GEN versions of Shadowrun. I always knew a group of friends that have been roleplaying the pen and paper RPG it is based on for quite a few years now and they reached out before to get me to play, but with my gonzo work/sleep schedule I knew it would be impossible to routinely play with them every week. I still had that itch to want to at least give it a honest try all these years later so I reached out to them and asked if I was able to commit to playing at least once a month with them and if they would they find a way to squeeze me in? Thank goodness they found a way to create random characters and place me into their campaign for the three times I made it out there to play with them. Mike is an awesome storyteller and ran a fun campaign, and I will also give props to Justine, Ron & Robb for being very welcoming and tolerant of my noob-ness and by being quite gracious sharing their infinite Shadowrun wisdom unto me. Unfortunately I fell out of the routine of playing with them after a few times, but I am glad to finally tried it out after all these years and would be down to make random cameos in their future sessions. 25) Kicking that Early Access Bug

I am going to cheat a smidge on this one because in December of 2017 through 2018 several games I invested lots of time into and/or have been majorly anticipating finally left Steam Early Access (SEA) and got official releases. Some went onto have official releases on console of well. Gang Beasts has always been silly goofy wrestling/brawling fun with creatures made of a silly puddy-esque substance and it was fascinating watching that game evolve over the several years Gang Beasts was in SEA until its official December 2017 release. I had fun times with friends in that game, and especially witnessing countless Giant Bomb sessions of its madness. FirePro World was another wrestling game that came out of SEA in December of 2017, but it was only in SEA for several months…not years. I have loved previous FirePro games for their faithful representation of a wrestling match and endless customization options, and was thrilled to see it get a physical PS4 release which wound up being the first physical wrestling game I picked up since…..wow…WWE 2K14. Road Redemption was another game that spent a few years in SEA and I was stoked that it finally got an official release in 2018, with later digital versions that hit PS4 and XB1 in the following months. I raved about it before in previous year-end round-ups, and it is long overdue to finally have a motorcycle combat racer that is finally worthy of being deemed a successor to the heralded Road Rash series. There is a lot more to Road Redemption than being a Road Rash clone, so stick with it as its bizarre rogue-lite nature of its career mode and bonkers weather and weaponry will unleash mayhem you likely did not anticipate coming in. Distance is another driving game that was in SEA for far too long, but after four years Distance emerged a fleshed out release. It is a driving game like nothing else, and the best way I can sum it up is a ‘trippy neon platforming Trials-esque’ driving experience. Its standout feature is a platforming ‘adventure’ mode which was rebuilt for the official release and went on to add so much other tracks and customization features since I last played Distance in SEA that I hope my meek PC can still handle it when I eventually revisit it!

Not done yet because two more driving games trapped for years in SEA also fully released in 2018. Jalopy is another adventure-esque driving game where you take your uncle on a trek across Eastern Europe in the family’s run-down lemon of a vehicle that needs constant attention and repairs and not to mention other tomfoolery the duo stumbles into amidst their travels. I have had my eye on Jalopy for awhile and was relieved to hear when its long SEA cycle also concluded. Finally, Bugbear’s project formerly known as Next Car Game released in 2018 as Wreckfest. It is the spiritual successor to Bugbear’s FlatOut line of demolition derby racing games that I have so many fond memories of. Wreckfest looks and feels like a current-gen FlatOut and I was glad to see it retain its excellent physics engine the series was known for. I was bummed to see the console release get a delay into the second half of 2019, but for those with capable PCs, Wreckfest is fully out now to consume in all its destructive glory! I do have two quick honorable mentions for this category. Super Indie Karts is an adorable Mario Kart-clone featuring mascots from many hit indie games as drivers that has also been in SEA forever. The developer keeps regularly adding content though and it just released a fresh batch of tracks and drivers (featuring the not-so-indie ToeJam & Earl) to the build a few days ago. I have nothing but super-fun memories of my time with Super Indie Karts so I hope it gets its long-awaited official release in 2019! Finally, while Shaq-Fu 2: A Legend Reborn never was officially in SEA when Shaq accidentally leaked it out in an offhanded interview four years ago shortly before its Kickstarter campaign premiere, it feels like it never left there once the game released to worst game of the year-caliber reception. I own two copies of the 1994 original Shaq-Fu, so I felt obligated to purchase the sequel when I recently stumbled upon it in the clearance bins for $6 just a few months after its release. 24) Good ‘ol Fashioned Videogame Couch Multiplayer

I will also give a quick mention to the videogame nights I was glad to be a part of with Derek, Brooke and Ryan! While 2018 saw us hit up more board game nights we managed to sneak in a few couch videogame multiplayer nights of some old favorites like Sony’s take on the JackBox Party Pack that is called That’s You where the four of us chuckled away the night at its irreverent trivia and doodling nonsense on each other’s faces. We also mixed in a couple other games into the rotation throughout the year. I heard great things about Towerfall before, but finally playing it was a rush and a half with its fast intense bouts of bow-and-arrow deathmatches with sudden death animations that left us in stitches! Derek introduced us to the bonkers four player game called Ultimate Chicken Horse where users play several quick rounds trying to reach a goal but insert random objects of torture between each round that makes getting to the goal near impossible by the end of the game. It was a big hit with our group. Finally it will behoove me to include the crazy night we had with the 360 game, Cloudberry Kingdom. It is an absurd runner game filled with all kinds of deathtraps just waiting to obliterate our adorable avatars. Cloudberry Kingdom has literally hundreds of levels, and as expected each one got procedurally more nuts but was still a blast to attempt to complete! After a couple hours of the madness and many attempts on one particularly troublesome stage we all had this priceless defeated look on our faces after we finally finished it and we all knew in that instant that we were DONE with it for the night! What a fantastic runner I hope we get to revisit again one day! ---YouTube Break #2--- Time for another breather! You do not have to be a fan of wrestling to enjoy these! ‘Bawdy Bawdy, We Like to Party’ legendary ECW tag team Public Enemy elucidates to rookie Mikey Whipwreck how championship wrestlers train in the mid-1990s. While we are here reminiscing about the Public Enemy, click here for their EPIC WCW theme song that was unavoidably catchy to sing-a-long with! PART 3 - RANKINGS 23 THROUGH 18 23) Wanting More Time to Dedicate to 2018’s Top Indie Games

There are a few websites and podcasts I follow that have tons of game of the year coverage, and it is a great place to get a reminder of those indie games that slipped through the cracks and I completely forgot about or neglected throughout the year. I heard enough praise about three of them that seemed up my alley and before the end of the year I was able to put in a 20-30 minute session with each of these. I wish I had more time for each, but my initial impressions were high for all three and I know I will put more time into them throughout 2019. Yoku’s Island Express is a hybrid of a pinball game and a MetroidVania that somehow delivered on both fronts as I unlocked more paths through an island by flipping my character and ball through a variety of colorful environments. My love for both genres makes me want to return to it ASAP. Minit is a roguelite RPG with an dastardly hook where each session has a one minute timer, but you retain all the items collected on each session that unlocks other paths on the map. I did about 20 sessions and as I got familiar with the game world I already was starting to plan my next steps ahead for my next minute run. Many jovial curses to the developers who intentionally programmed the NPC W-H-O-T-A-L-K-S-T-H-I-S-S-L-O-W to keep me in a nail-biter of a moment to hit the next checkpoint with literally a single second to spare! The last indie game I snuck in some time with was the Super Meat Boy-esque platformer, Celeste. This comes from the same developers who made Towerfall that I just got done shedding some love for above. The instant restarts and checkpoints make its fair-yet-punishing platforming worth the challenge to get through and I can already see its addicting ‘just-one-more-try’ instant respawns reminding me of the longer-than-intended sessions I had with the Trials games and I look forward to them in Celeste! I am only about a half hour in, but have heard nothing but the best of acclaim for its narrative about overcoming personal struggles to make it to the top of a mountain! 22) Fans of Gamers Who Crave Limited Runs

I imagine you have heard of them before, but if not then both Limited Run Games and FanGamer have both been great sites I have been persistently coming back to for primarily physical copies of smaller indie games and top-tier quality gaming memorabilia. I am happy to see Limited Run expanding in 2018 by finally starting to publish games on Switch and landing their more anticipated games in a limited window preorder program so everyone has a shot at getting a copy. It was also encouraging to hear that some of their games will be shipping in smaller quantities to Best Buys across the country so people who do not order their games online have a shot at getting some of their titles the traditional way. Some of the titles I ordered this year from them that I was stoked to get physical copies of include Late Shift, Read Only Memories and Golf Story. That is right, I do not own a Switch yet but ordered Golf Story because I loved the GBC/GBA RPG takes on Mario Golf that Golf Story is the spiritual successor of and I kept hearing how it hits all the right notes for fans of those handheld classics. I anticipate I will get a Switch within the next year pending the inevitable smaller redesign of the system. My only qualm with Limited Run now is with their growth their shipping times have significantly increased. I recall my first few Limited Run games I ordered taking 2-4 weeks to ship, now the last several I got all took 3-5 MONTHS each. Step it up guys! I will also tip my hat to FanGamer for their plethora of must-have merchandise. I loved their meticulously detailed strategy/companion guides for Earthbound and Mother 3. It is awesome they are collaborating with Jeremy Perish to publish deluxe hardcover books of his transcripts for his excellent Works line of anthology retro gaming videos. FanGamer has a ton of artistic shirts, posters and other memorabilia for many top-rated indie games. I ordered my first shirt from them recently with this design that perfectly captures the spirit of WindJammers. I am also perplexed with their sudden infatuation to the classic run-and-gunner, Sunset Riders, FanGamer recently obtained the merchandising rights for. They celebrated the occasion with a unique cosplay promotional video that almost convinced me to order their Sunset Riders branded wallet….almost! 21) 25 Years of the Real-est Interactive Multiplayer in the Room!

Guys, the 3DO is a pretty neat system! Seriously! Of course I did not spend the obscene $700 when it first launched 25 years ago, but I got it for a bargain in 2007 and went on to hunt down many games that I always wanted to try for the platform. Not all of them were winners, but there were several that wound up as worthy inclusions in my library. My recommended games for the 3DO include the awesome party game Twisted, its mascot platformer Gex and the original Need for Speed. 3DO also has excellent versions of Super Street Fighter II Turbo, Family Feud, Madden and arguably the best version of the classic motorcycle racer, Road Rash! Nearing its 25th anniversary and just in time for Halloween, the good people at Your Parents Basement Podcast invited me on to guest host and commemorate one of the 3DO’s spooooop-iest games, the Tia Carrere FMV thriller, The Daedalus Encounter! I busted out my 3DO from the closet and booted up my old save and came pretty darn close to finishing it before the puzzles got to be too much of a brainbuster for me! Riveting times were had breaking down and dissecting the game with the YPB crew which you can check out and download here. 20) Shmuppreciation 2018

One of my favorite podcasts I have been a listener to for over 13 years now is Super-the-Hardest. They use to be primarily videogame-centric, but have since evolved over the years to focus on whatever topics pique their interest such as craft brews, board games and jamming out to vinyl records! One of their longest traditions has always been dedicating March to shmup/space shooter games. I am not a pro shump player by any means, but always am down to pump in a few credits and blast away for as long as I can survive. They have a small, but tight-knit forum community I have always been a part of and when March hit the hosts were asking there if anyone was playing any shmups yet. A couple days went by with little response, and knowing how big shmup-month was for that community in previous years I was suddenly inspired to start up weekly high score chases on the forums there with the focus this year being on three random NES shmups each week. I tried to have a consistent rotation of the three games being one common/popular shmup such as Gradius & 1943, another lesser known domestic release like Alpha Mission & Zombie Nation and finally a imported Famicom game that never saw a stateside release with picks this year including Parodius Da & Gradius II. At least a few us participated each week posting our scores and exchanging tips and breaking down how good/awful that week’s selections were. It was a heck of a month and somehow I managed to keep up posting selections each week and got in time with every game! No idea if I will do it again for 2019, but if I do I think it may be time to upgrade to 16-bits! 19) The 3DS Soul Still Burns!!

I somehow managed to sneak in an hour of time into my 3DS each week. I was ecstatic to track down an English translation for Ace Attorney Investigation 2 that never saw an American release. I loved the first game and always wanted to play the follow-up and got most of the way through the first case. I finally played my first Fire Emblem game by putting in several hours into Fire Emblem Echoes. Hearing that Echoes was a good entry point for the series having played Advance Wars many years ago the gameplay was not that difficult to pick up. It has that same addicting strategy gameplay as Advance Wars, but with a medieval theme and a far richer narrative than what I recalled from my Advance Wars days. Just the couple of sessions I had with Echoes I was already starting to get attached to the cast. Hotel Dusk and its sequel, Last Window are my favorite DS games. They are mystery visual novels, and when I found out earlier in 2018 that some of the developers at Cing who worked on those games went on to make a bite-sized spiritual successor to it on the 3DS eShop called Chase: Cold Case Investigations - Distant Memories I knew I had to get it. I bought this around when it released in 2016 and neglected it until John from the Super the Hardest podcast recapped it earlier in 2018 and inspired me to pick it up. It is essentially a more stripped down version of Cing’s earlier games as it revolves around two detectives interviewing suspects for a hospital blast. Graphics and style remind me of Hotel Dusk and the lead detective in Distant Memories looks quite similar to one Kyle Hyde. It was a decent little visual novel that can be finished in less than three hours, and I hope it gets a follow-up, but it appears this one came and went because I have heard nothing since. I finally started up Theatrhythm 2: Curtain Call. In case you missed out on it before it assembles the protagonists from past Final Fantasy games and makes a fun battle system/rhythm game of over 100 songs from the rich history of Final Fantasy soundtracks while somehow fitting in a intricate narrative too. Wish I had more time to get into it and I think I will have to restart it I manage to deep dive into it because I spent the bulk of my 3DS time once again this year with Dragon Quest VIII. My save file is currently approaching 110 hours in DQVIII. However, the last 15-ish hours have been spent grinding from levels 40-65 for most of my party members for the final boss. To say the boss is a pain is an understatement. I failed multiple times at vanquishing him, thus the hours at grinding away. I will never forget my time with DQVIII, but am looking forward to finishing it on one of my next sessions so I can finally put more time into other games. The 3DS still had a strong 2018 from Nintendo published games and I wound up picking up Captain Toad, Detective Pikachu and WarioWare Gold which I desperately want to dive into! 18) ‘Get Ready for a Cruise Missile!’

I use to play a ton of sports games until several years ago. I took a long hiatus from them to focus on more narrative-driven games. Madden NFL ‘18 premiering its story mode dubbed ‘Longshot’ got me curious at giving the acclaimed football series another go for the first time in five years. I surprisingly dug Madden’s take on a story mode and loved playing as the fictional Devin Wade working his way through the reality show challenges and playing in flashback high school games with lighthearted local announcers providing the unintentional best sports commentary out there. Longshot also had a well-rounded cast filled with some surprising moments I never thought I would get invested in such as getting them sports feels flowing for the Longshot acoustic sing-a-long! The story mode only took a few hours to play through and even if you are not a fan of football games I would recommend giving it a shot as the football parts are few and far between and the story mode is primarily QTE/mini-game focused. Story mode aside, I managed to play a few rounds online against my friend Steve I use to play countless sports games with over the years and it felt good to reignite that rivalry. Madden still plays as good as I remember, and one thing I want to point out from the core game is the new NFL commentators they brought in for ’18 & ’19 with Brandon Gaudin & Charles Davis easily being the best announce team in Madden history that added a ton to the presentation unlike any Madden announce team before them! I did pick up Madden NFL ‘19 recently because it has ‘Longshot Part 2’ which promises to conclude the storyline for Devin Wade and his buddy Colt Cruise, but other than a couple rounds online with Steve again I have yet to dive into it. After catching a couple scenes online I am psyched to see how Longshot concludes and plan on blitzing through it around Super Bowl time like I did with part one in 2018.

If you are not a fan of sim-football and prefer arcade style action in the vein of NFL Blitz than I will instead point you towards Mutant Football League which I played nearly a full season of off-and-on throughout 2018. It is the spiritual successor to EA’s awesome Mutant League Football on the Genesis, and part of me is still surprised how the team did not get a cease-and-desist from EA with a slightly altered name change and bring over so much of the look and feel of the original game. It modernized all the things I loved from the first game with a game engine that plays like a amped up version of Blitz, and retains classic elements of the Genesis game like being able to kill your adversaries in all types of gruesome ways and introducing awesome powered up attacks that can be used once per half to up the brutality. And yes, you can still bribe and kill refs! I was a little bummed Mutant Football League did not get that much of a buzz when it finally released because it had a successful Kickstarter campaign and a follow-up to the Genesis game has been long demanded in the sports gaming circles I follow. A physical copy released later in the year with a new Franchise mode included so hopefully that will bring some new eyes onto the game. If you want more over-the-top arcade-like gameplay out of your football games then by all means give Mutant Football League a try! I also got really into my first basketball-sim in many years. I dabbled with a couple arcade-hoops games over past couple years and really dug the Neo-Geo Arcade Archives re-release of Street Hoop on Xbox One, while the free-to-play Xbox One hoops game, 3-on-3 Freestyle…..not so much. I always stuck with NBA 2K games as my NBA sim of choice since their debut on Dreamcast and picked one up every couple years and played them regularly through 2K11. Early in 2018 however a super cheap digital sale on NBA Live ‘18 convinced me to give it a shot. I have solely been playing its create-a-player story/career mode ‘The One.’ I have been digging it and loved the first several games I played in ‘The One’ proving my worth in street games of 21. Every few games there would be these hilarious FMV updates from a First Take set with Stephen A Smith and Max Kellerman being over-the-top versions of their already over-the-top personalities which convinced me that my created player was going to dominate the street leagues and become the #1 draftee in the NBA….it did not turn out that way, but I am having a blast so far proudly representing the Timberwolves while dishing out far too many three-point attempts than I should be. ---YouTube Break #3--- Re-watching that NBA Live ’18 clip of Stephen A. Smith got me to dig up this compilation of clips of Mr. Smith at his zaniest. Here is the final version of the full Longshot song of which I have no shame having it in my running playlist! PART 4 - RANKINGS 17 THROUGH 14 17) The End Day is a Lie!

I was going to say a couple entries earlier when covering all those NES shmups that I have not played that much NES in years, but that statement would have been false because mere weeks before that I played through the entirety of the post-apocalyptic, action-RPG Crystalis on NES! It was the featured game on the first of two Your Parents Basement podcast episodes I guest hosted on for 2018. I picked up both the NES and GBC versions a couple years ago after hearing countless years of love from the staff at GameCola about it. I managed to play through most of it by the time we recorded that YPB episode and finished it off a few days after that. All these years after its original release, Crystalis is still a fun action-RPG to plow through. I loved the accessibility of the combat, and while the options to choose from to level up seem quaint now, I can imagine how they were top of their league at the time. After beating the NES version I put an hour into the GBC port to see how it held up. I heard the GBC version get a fair amount of slack over the years, but from my initial time with the handheld port it seemed noticeably cleaner and had some useful tips at the opening town that would have benefitted my first time through. I had a great time sharing my experience with the YPB crew and if you are interested in hearing our takes on SNK’s 8-bit RPG then click here to check out that episode. It seemed only fitting that the NES original got its first retro re-release later on in 2018 on the SNK 40th Anniversary Collection on Switch. 16) Pinball Quest 2018

Welcome to my yearly blurb all about feeding my addiction to videogame pinball. In case you skipped around this year-end round-up (I do not blame you!) I will refer you to entry #23 for some quick thoughts on Yoku’s Island Express. I only got a few rounds of my favorite PC-exclusive pinball game, Hyperspace Pinball in 2018, and the last time I played it a couple weeks ago I had a great run and was briefly ecstatic until the leaderboard indicated I missed my personal high-score by a smidge! I also gave a couple runs to what appears to be a mobile pinball game ported to Xbox One in Quantic Pinball. It is a fine little pinball game, but its mobile roots are too apparent and not many upgrades are present to make the console release feel warranted. 2018 was a strange year for Pinball Arcade. I wanted to make the switch to primarily playing it on PS4 in 2017, but that proved difficult upon discovery of my dozens of tables I purchased on PS3/Vita not being import-able to the PS4 version like I was able to for the dozens of tables I acquired for Zen Pinball 2 to work on Pinball FX3. So that meant I would have to buy the tables all over again. I held off for a long time, but I wound up spending roughly $200 on all of the DLC for it upon hearing midway in 2018 all of Pinball Arcade’s collection of tables under license from Williams/Bally would no longer be supported for purchase with only a few weeks notice to be able to buy them and add them to your Pinball Arcade library. Plopping down around $200 all at once for that DLC was a punch in the gut, but ultimately I do not regret it because there are some minor, but noticeable enhancements to the visuals on the PS4 version of Pinball Arcade and it has a slightly cleaner feel to the gameplay too. Additionally the developers at Farsight now have a separate game called Stern Pinball Arcade so the newer Stern tables have a flashier place to reside. I perfectly understand the idea to make the Stern tables pop more on their own platform. The Stern tables purchased theoretically work in both Pinball Arcade and Stern Pinball Arcade, but doing so requires reactivating the purchased license in the clunky Playstation Store interface and it once lead to me to inadvertently purchasing the same table twice.

A couple months later I was stunned to find out that Zen Studios gained the license for the Williams tables and by the end of the year would have their first seven tables from the Williams/Bally collection available for download to Pinball FX3 (PFX3). I have mixed feelings about this. I do like Zen’s optional upgraded graphical enhancements to the tables, but the overall physics for the ball movement does not feel like the authentic movement that Pinball Arcade faithfully represented. There is an option in Pinball Arcade for ‘classic mode’ which kind of slows down the speed of play and leans the gameplay to marginally feel like an authentic pinball experience, but it simply does not cut it overall. Hopefully Zen can take the feedback and continue to improve in future DLC tables. Gripes on the Williams tables aside, I enjoyed the rest of my time in 2018 with PFX3. I have heard the criticism for Zen Studios’ unrealistic style of pinball, but I have always been a fan of theirs and feel there is room for both authentic digital pinball from Pinball Arcade and faster physics with the more fantastical tables from Zen. I finally started to grasp PFX3’s initially intimidating ‘mastery’ system of each table. The mastery system is topping off essentially an experience meter for each table by achieving score goals in each gameplay option available and maxing out several stat meters. I did this for The Infinity Gauntlet, Back to the Future and almost all the way for Medieval Madness. I also got into the weekly online scoring ‘matchup’ league play where PFX3 randomly picks four tables and scores posted by three random players in three skill levels for three minutes of play each week. By toying around with trying to master tables and online score chasing in matchup play it lead to a lot more time invested in Pinball FX3 compared to 2017. 15) Sega Channel 2018

In the summer of 1996 I spent about five or six afternoons a week at my friend’s place playing Sega Channel. No memories of it? Here is some vintage archival footage of its menus of the Sega Channel experience. It was Sega’s sweet-at-the-time service where in coordination with cable companies from 1994-98 you would pay $15/month to have a rotating monthly selection of 40 games playable from a special cartridge that hooked up to the household cable line. Games would download to a temporary internal memory on the cartridge from the cable line over a minute or two and save states were also available. It was the current Netflix streaming of gaming and was way ahead of its time. It was also how I discovered countless Genesis favorites I hunted down at local shops and online after I got my first job a few years later. It took 20 years after Sega Channel shutdown to get a faithful reincarnation of it, but only far better in every way. GameTap sort of brought it back to the PC for the few years it was around in the 2000s. However, Xbox brought it back in full force with its excellent Game Pass service for Xbox One it introduced in 2018. Instead of 40 games available to play each month there are 100+ rotating games for Xbox. Add on Microsoft’s bold move of making all their first party games available on Game Pass on day one of their release and it would be insane not to recommend it, especially for new Xbox One owners. I actually am that insane though and do not have it because of my massive backlog and lack of time to commit. However for new Xbox One owners and/or game players on a budget like students or parents looking to save lots of money getting games for their kids they would be in an ideal position going with Game Pass and a Games for Gold subscription which additionally nets ownership of four games each month to their Xbox games library. 14) Ride or Die

Like pinball games, I also have a yearly blurb on my experiences with racing/driving games for the year. I felt my year in driving titles slightly nudged out my pinball times, thus it being a couple notches higher ranked. If you dear reader are randomly bouncing around this list then I will refer you to entry #25 where I touch on driving games coming out of Steam Early Access such as Road Redemption, Wreckfest, Distance, Jalopy & Super Indie Kart. There were a few driving titles I dabbled this year in that I wish I had more time to plug away at. As you will see later in this round-up, I am a nut for the Sega 80s arcade driving titles like Hang-On & OutRun, and the PS4/Switch release of Horizon Chase Turbo is the best spiritual successor to that type of racer I have seen over the years. They brought on the same composer from those games and the visuals have a nice modern HD look to them that capture the spirit of those 80s greats. It has been a great while since I played a snowmobile racing game and Ski-Doo Snowmobile Challenge was a limited, but fun budget title racer on PS3 that reminded me of a fond time when all I wanted was a no-thrills career mode with a few dozen races and simple stat upgrades to deal with in a career mode. Drive!Drive!Drive! was the final racer I put some minor time into, and that was an extraordinary title where I would have to bounce around multiple cameras to control simultaneous races. At the beginning of the year I was wrapping up the last dozen or so races/events in the 360 version of Forza Horizon 2. I had another good time with it like its open-world predecessor and took advantage of that rewind button to avoid retrying the same track over and over, but looking back I preferred the experience of the first FH more as the sequel seemed more of the same, but in a less spectacular backdrop. Friends are telling me to skip three and jump to the new fourth game in the series getting a lot of buzz online now, but the third game has that tempting Australian outback setting I froth to explore and on top of that the unique Hot Wheels DLC pack I heard nothing but superb things about. So I will continue to be extremely behind on that series and plan to jump into FH3 later this year.

I went on an odd Monster Truck binge in 2018. The Xbox One digital store had Monster Jam: Crush-It available for dirt cheap one week, and having a modicum of nostalgic memories of past entries in the long running budget title series I wound up taking a chance on it. After spending far more time than I should have with it, ‘budget’ is a generous description for Crush-It, because this racer is full of absurd physics, bizarre collision detection and endless other bugs. After a ton of bugs causing too many rage-inducing moments I beat enough tracks and finished all the challenges to make Crush-It of all games to have the dubious honor of being the first Xbox One game I unlocked the full 1000 gamerscore in. After wrapping up my time with Crush-It I stumbled into picking up a copy of Monster Truck Madness 64. Microsoft was developing the series at that point on PC for awhile, but ported it to N64 and had a pre-GTA Rockstar Games publish it for them. Unfortunately the Rockstar branding could not have saved MM64 as it too was also rough around the edges with terribly loose steering that had me dreading every corner. It did feature the nWo muscle trucks at the time though that brought back memories of the old WCW Motorsports advertising. The racing game I put the most time into in 2018 was The Crew. Not the sequel that came out later in the year, but the original game. I got around halfway in it via staggered play over the previous year or two, but with the release of the sequel approaching I grinded away in the couple of months leading up to its release to finish the avenge your brother’s death storyline which I actually kind of dug. There was a surprisingly gripping cinema building up to campaign’s final race where I was legit getting behind protagonist Alex Taylor. I had fun just messing around and cruising around UbiSoft’s condensed open-world of the continental United States and tracking down their take on iconic landmarks. I messed around a little here and there with their instantaneous online coop/versus multiplayer reminiscent of Test Drive Unlimited, and had a few fun online moments but I enjoyed most of my time in the single player. Gameplay wise it is not five stars by any means, and I would prefer Forza Horizon any day, but there was something about the gritty underground nature of The Crew and its car-culture-gang-warfare story that kept me sticking with it. I eventually picked up the sequel recently on a bargain bin digital sale for the ultimate season pass edition being 60% off so who knows, I likely see myself in 2019 playing The Crew 2 and Forza Horizon 3 concurrently at my regular on-and-off pace. ---YouTube Break #4--- I am always a sucker for when a racing game injects a storyline to its single player campaign, especially if it is completely ridiculous! Hey, you know what other racing game had super-cheesy-yet-awesome cutscenes? The original Need for Speed: Most Wanted in 2005. Here is a link to its entire half hour of cutscenes. Eat your heart out Tokyo Drift! They came a long way from EA’s DIY live-action cinemas from the original 3DO game that you can see right here. EA tried to recapture the glory days of their cornball cutscenes with 2015’s Need for Speed. It has some moments like first person fist-bumping and energy drink chugging that you see in their entire bro-ness right here, but 2005’s Most Wanted will always reign supreme in my book! PART 5 - RANKINGS 13 THROUGH 10 13) Spoooooky Gaming For Halloween I brought up to my board game/videogame night friends Derek, Brooke & Ryan about doing a spooky gaming marathon. They did me one better and recommend I bring over my copy of Hidden Agenda on PS4 to binge through that I have been occasionally throwing out for an option over the previous months. Hidden Agenda kind of snuck under-the-radar towards the end of 2017 as it came from the same team that made the critically acclaimed teenage spooky thriller, Until Dawn. This is another spooky-thriller, but designed to be played with your friends and finished in one session within three hours. It is a game that requires a smartphone app to play, and luckily it came close, but did not deplete our entire charge by the time the credits rolled. The app had some clever functionality that kept tabs on case notes and presented us with options to vote on which way to take the story next like having to choose which part of the case to investigate, or which path to split off into. While the story was a little all over the place it managed to get us riled up and jumpy a few times, and was still a blast to play through in its entirety in a single night on Halloween weekend. Now I need to replay it on my own to have complete control over the story so on my calendar this October I am going to write a big reminder to replay Hidden Agenda and finally bust open and plow through Until Dawn. 12) Back-to-Back!!!

I have been avoiding most co-op gaming that cannot be finished in a single session like Hidden Agenda for a few years now due to lack of time to finish lengthier co-op games. I made one exception this year where my same friend Matt and I met up twice to persevere through A Way Out. It is a coop game clocking in at around a whopping six hours. That is a lot for me nowadays. Matt and I absolutely loved our time with A Way Out. Spending the first couple of hours getting to know the prison system and plan our escape was a rush and it reminded me of the equally awesome first few hours of Xbox’s Chronicles of Riddick. Crawling up the air shaft with that back-to-back mini-game will go down as one of my favorite moments in co-op gameplay. The plot I found myself getting into where two would-be fugitives found themselves teaming up to escape prison and get back to their loved ones. It kind of disappointingly unravels in the final moments with some bold narrative choices the developers made that I am still processing in my mind on how I feel about the final hour of play. The ‘must talk to everyone’ extremist in me was addicted to talking to nearly all NPCs and have brief choice-based conversations with all of them. The developers at Hazelight Studios cram in diverse gameplay throughout with plenty of exploring, interrogating, QTE segments, platforming, gunfights, intense car chase sequences and a big highlight being a hospital chase sequence where A Way Out seamlessly bounces back and forth between the two characters as they get split up and must evade the police. If you are looking for something fresh and different than the infinite amount of co-op shooters available, then give A Way Out a chance. 11) ‘This is a No-Smoking Flight!’

If you do not recognize that quote it is from the adorable master of cooking eggs, Sunny, at the close of one of the numerous lengthy cutscenes that Metal Gear Solid 4 was known for. The ending cutscene is literally the length of a movie, and the cinemas between each of MGS4’s acts are right around an hour each and I would not want it any other way! MGS4 was the first MGS game I finished nearly 10 years ago and I decided it was only appropriate to revisit it after finishing the first three MGS games in the past couple of years. I got so much more out of MGS4 this way by actually getting the countless past references to the core trilogy of games this time around. I loved that MG4 also had memorable debuting characters like the aforementioned Sunny and the soda-chugging gun-runner, Drebin! Since I last played MGS4 Konami has also patched in trophies so it was worthwhile to hunt down those and look into some that swayed me to approach gameplay in a different fashion which yielded a refreshing second go-around. After finishing MGS4, I continued my ritual of view that installment’s complete gameplay commentary from Dan and Drew at GiantBomb to get essentially a third playthrough experience out of MGS4. I did not make major progress in the rest of my Metal Gear quest otherwise throughout the year. I did get a little ways into MGS5 at the beginning of the year, but then felt compelled to drop it and play through MGS4 before it instead. That was probably a wrong decision in hindsight, but at least it gives me an excuse to restart it and experience one of gaming’s grandest opening missions yet again. I did pick up the GBC version of Metal Gear Solid last year for a decent price at a local retro shop, so if I ever do finish MGS5 I would like to play the GBC title along with the MSX versions of the original two games. 10) Better Late than Never

I have no idea why I held off seven years on getting around to the highly-touted Saints Row the Third, especially after loving the first two games and finishing them in quick fashion right around their release. The third game in the open-world crime action series upped the zany factor the series debuted in the second game with some of its activities by introducing all kinds of over-the-top elements in the story missions and into the weapons, upgrades, you name it. Here are a few examples so you can see for yourself. Saints Row the Third gave the franchise its own satirical identity when before it was only a pretty solid GTA-clone. Waiting seven years to get to this classic made certain parts of the graphics seem a little long in the tooth, but for the most part the visuals and core gameplay held up nicely. Experimenting with the huge variety of weapons and vehicles available made cruising through the open world a lot of fun. Same goes for the series trademark offering of mini-game ‘activities.’ The developers at Volition pushed every button to get the most out of that M rating to make its missions standout like no other as they go in places you will not believe. I went on to play both pieces of the story-based DLC content which take the Saints in filming their own Gangstas in Space movie and chasing down an evil mutant clone of series mascot, Johnny Gat. If you missed out on this landmark achievement in open-world gameplay then consider this synopsis somewhat timely since THQ Nordic will be releasing Saints Row the Third later this year on switch. ---YouTube Break #5--- Grab a glass of water dear reader for still sticking with me through this unbelievable amount of words! If you stuck with last year’s round-up to the very end, then you will remember this video I will treat you to a little early. That is right it is time for the epic John Cena animated prank call of doom! Speaking of Mr. ‘You Can’t See Me’ here is a fun clip I recently ran into John promoting his recent BumbleBee film where he chats up Matt McConaughey about old school Texas wrestling. What is that? You want a non wrestling-related video, fine I get it, then enjoy this take from James Rolfe as he breaks down two childhood favorite video game themed game shows I grew up with in the early 90s, Video Power & Nick Arcade. PART 6 - RANKINGS 9 THROUGH 4 9)Discovering my Favorite Gaming Blog

Early in 2018 I was scouring the webs digging up info on the must-have import games for the Super Famicom/SNES. I came across this top 50 list ranking the most obscure SNES imports from a blog called RVGFanatic. It is a blog primarily dedicated to covering SNES/Super Famicom games, but also has the occasional feature covering a game on another system or a random personal life story. The site has been around for over a decade and RVGFanatic continues to publish a few new entries a month. His writing and coverage reminds me of the writing style dominant in gaming magazines from the 90s and RVGFanatic stated in various articles that was his intention with the design in the blog. I spent a good chunk of the year revisiting his site and perusing the archives there because there is an earnest quality to his writing that captures the sheer joy of growing up with those games. He manages to be both reflective and current with his writing recognizing pros and cons the games have been known for, while also recapturing the experience of playing that game for the first time. A prime example of this is his recent review of Clay Fighter. It perfectly encapsulated my memories of the much hyped fighter looking wicked cool with its revolutionary graphics which helped hide its haphazard gameplay. His occasional personal blogs were metaphorical page-turners too as I related with him perfectly to his excellent write-up of rental store memories as well with his piece on wrestling nostalgia of the Hulk-a-Mania years of the then-WWF. I can recommend so many more of his articles and reviews, but instead I recommend you dive in and get lost in RVGFanatic’s archives like I did! 8) My Handpicked Top Gaming Videos of 2018 I have been scouring the YouTubes and GiantBombs throughout the year and have some of my highest recommendations of my favorite videos to add to your watch later q! Without further ado, here are my top picks of 2018… GiantBomb - Die Another Friday| Winter Games 2018 | Gaiden the Ring & Get in the Ring| Mario Party Party 11 | Quiet Man Quick Look | Wreckfest Quick Look | Detective Pikachu Quick Look Jeremy Parish ‘Works’ Videos - Too hard to pick just one all of them are so informative and comprehensive. Pick a system of Works videos from the playlists indexed here MetalJesus - Game Pickups with Reggie | Vinyl Record Pickups | Wii and PSP Hidden Gems |PS2 Hidden Gems Gaming Historian – Story of Punchout | Story of Tetris Game Sack – Star Trek Games Up Up Down Down - E3 Live – Elite vs New Day Street Fighter V Challenge | Edge and Christian NHL 95 Faceoff No Clip – History of Bethesda AVGN - Earthbound | Home Alone games with MaCauly Caulkin Same Name, Different Game – FirePro Wrestling | Punisher | Street Fighter Alpha Classic Gaming Quarterly - Let’s Read TurboPlay | Nintendo Power | Game Pro | Official DreamCast Magazine Scott the Woz - Wii Ware Chronicles | Devils Third | Madden NFL 08 That list there is days full of quality videos to last you throughout 2019, I hope you dig them as much as I did! 7) Videogame Vinyl

How the hell did I go down this whole!? I recall first getting clued into the world of emerging videogame soundtracks on vinyl from this music primer episode of Retronauts. Later in 2017 a friend gifted me his old record player since he recently upgrade along with a couple records. Since I had the record player in my possession I figured I had to had to track down a just a few records for it and I heard good things about soundtrack vinyls from Mondo and I went and ordered several records from them. That was the first domino tumbling right there, and from that point it was inevitable to prevent the rest tumbling after them. Throughout 2018 other websites I follow like Limited Run, Data Disc and FanGamer started to offer videogame OSTs on vinyl and I made several more purchases throughout the year. I do not have hundreds of vinyls mind you, but I finished the year with around 15. I made sure to track down some iconic videogame soundtracks like a few from the Castlevania series, Earthbound and Snatcher. There were also a few oddballs that still boggle my mind why they got a vinyl release like Windjammers and Mortal Kombat I & II that I convinced myself I had to have. I am not buying these to sit on the shelf though as I have been getting some quality use out of my record player jamming out to soundtracks while cleaning the house and doing DDP Yoga three times a week. 6) Hey-a Fellers

It was practically impossible to avoid getting sucked up by the whirlwind of hype in the months leading up to Red Dead Redemption 2’s release. I also loved its predecessor so much that I knew I had to be there day one to be in on the conversation going around the gaming press zeitgeist about RDR2’s opening acts. South Park got in on the RDR2 hype train too with a couple episodes where the whole town is addicted to it. Rockstar does not disappoint with their narrative and audio/visual presentation. I will not bore you with the details you have likely read elsewhere by now, but rest assured the open-world, cast, narrative, visuals and especially the score and voice acting is aces all around! Not all is aces though as RDR2’s multi-faceted control scheme has been divisive among many in the gaming media. Bottom line, there are too many functions for every button on the controller, and at points I completely forgot certain controls and had to do a quick online search for a refresher on how to do specific abilities like dual wielding and changing coats. Those gripes quickly washed away after extended sessions with RDR2 where I cannot help but get immersed and lose myself in the world. I spent so much time looking forward to getting distracted by whatever quick instant side mission or event that popped up traversing to my next checkpoint. According to my progress I am 36% the way through RDR2 after what seems roughly that many hours in the game, however I am only in chapter two because I keep having so much fun clearing out whatever side missions get accumulated in my checklist. I easily see many more hours to come in RDR2 throughout 2019. 5) The Hidden Beauty of Shield Snow-Surfing!

2017’s #1 pick, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild took up so much of my playtime in 2018 that it managed to eeek its way into my top five of 2018! There is simply so much to explore, see and do and I am insane at refusing to take advantage of fast travel due to fear of missing out on seeing cool stuff. The photo I attached here showing my 133 hours of total play time was taken shortly before Halloween and I have put at least several more hours in since then. I will give a shoutout to my co-worker Mike who has been awesome to trade tips and stories with since Breath of the Wild’s launch. He gave me a ton of great pointers and his advice has made my experience with BotW a better one! Mike filled me in all about the wondrous technique that is shield surfing! I later discovered more about it when my random traversing lead me to a corner of the wintry mountainous region of the map where I was taught shield surfing and how that lead to the thrills surfing through the snow blanketed mountains of Hyrule. I have made so much progress this year! I am down to needing to unlock only two more parts of the map where my one last divine beast to conquer lies before finally taking on Hyrule Castle and Ganon! I loved my time in the Lost Woods and Lomei Labyrinth Island that was a hoot to find my way out of. I finally got the Master Sword. I took some stabs at the DLC trials for the Master Sword which is reminiscent of the extremely tough-but-fair challenge that is Eventide Island. I failed after several attempts, but would like to conquer them to increase the Master Sword’s power! Speaking of DLC I waded around with a handful of the DLC quests available and unlocked the Korok mask from the DLC quests which looks funky as hell, but it has helped me amass at least triple the amount of Korok Seeds I would have found on my own. I want to jump into the DLC quest that unlocks the ‘Master Cycle Zero’ (aka Hyrule Motorcycle) as footage I have seen so far looks straight-up rad cruising through Hyrule in their trippy looking hot-rod. Mark my words, Breath of the Wild, in 2019 I will finally finish the core quest and vanquish Ganon and unlock the Master Cycle Zero! 4) Eeeeeeelsss Oxenfree was my game of the year in 2016. I loved its art style, mysterious narrative and especially its script where the teenagers would one second be trying to solve this multi-layered mystery on an island and the next have a heart-to-heart chat about stereotypical teenage drama. Night in the Woods was receiving a lot of the same buzz over it also being a Narrative Exploration game with a relatable 2D art style and similar plot hooks to the point that among the gaming press it was generating buzz of being 2017’s top Narrative Exploration title. After looking into Night in the Woods I could not help but be reeled in by its plot where a failed college student drops out of college two years in and returns to her small podunk town of Possum Springs to try and recapture her days of chilling with her high school friends but only for them all to be later caught up in local town superstitions proving not to be so superstitious.

As attractive as the plot was I could not help but, I would not say be turned off, but rather mystified about the decision to go with humanoid-structured animals representing all the characters. First impressions watching initial gameplay of Night in the Woods made that choice in character style difficult to suspend my disbelief and maintain my focus on checking out the game. I am not saying that is a bad thing, I am simply stating that is what was perplexing my mind. There must have been others who felt similar to me because there was also a harsher vocal contingent who was upset with people avoiding the game due to the art style who wrote a few articles stating that if you were avoiding playing this because of animals as characters than to F off. That led to me not wanting to get caught up in all that hoopla so I decided it was best to avoid that controversy. It was only around game of the year time at the end of 2017 where I heard friendlier supporters of the game rally behind it with high praise that convinced me to give it a chance and start it up at the beginning of 2018. I am relieved I did because Night in the Woods is a kickass Narrative Exploration game! The writing is right up there with Oxenfree as all the characters captured that local post-high school angst and rebellion of trying to make it in the real world and things not quite working out. I settled into a convenient routine of daily life gameplay where the player character Mae would check in with her parents and of course with me being me, make sure to talk to every local I would come across because they had something different to say every day! The dialogue for every major and minor character was so spot on that it made going out of my way to talk to everyone worthwhile and random spots in town had special one-time moments going in with periphery characters that if I did not check out I would have completely missed out on such as a poetry reading contest, breaking light bulbs behind a corner store and checking out the stars with your old teacher.

There are a lot of singular moments that really stuck with me in Night in the Woods. Every day in the game you are presented with the option of going out on a side-adventure with one of Mae’s two best friends Gregg or Bae. I chose to do all mine with Bae so if I do get around to playing through this again I will do Gregg’s side stories on my replay to have at least a little bit of new content playable in each day of gameplay. Bae has some priceless moments with Mae where the two have serious chats about their most personal feelings that few other games I have seen dared, and they also have some priceless lighthearted moments where the two get mischievous in a dilapidated mall, complete with a mini-game on trying to steal from a Hot Topic-esque store. The most hard-hitting moment that I vividly recall was when Mae’s mom has a bad day and does a 180 heel turn on her daughter! It hurt so much! Mommmmm!!!! I was thinking once Night in the Woods was going to focus more on the supernatural mystery it would take away from Mae’s personal drama that was so irresistible to get caught up in. Thankfully, that was not the case as it was doubly entertaining to watch Mae’s crew come together and discover the truth behind the superstitions plaguing Possum Springs. As you can tell I got so into Night in the Woods’ page-turning narrative that within about a half hour of starting the thought of the characters being animals did not cross my mind, and looking back on it the designs of the animals corresponded appropriately to the personalities they were representing. Minus the handful of over-ambitious dream sequences that were a little bit of a chore to get through and I might have given this a nod over Oxenfree. That split hair aside, Night in the Woods is a spectacular Narrative Exploration game and hangs in the upper elite tier of them with Oxenfree, Firewatch and Gone Home so if these games are up your alley make sure you do not make the same mistake I did and hold off on Night in the Woods for this long. ---YouTube Break #6--- Holy hell, I did not intend to turn my listing for Night in the Woods into a full-on review, but I could not help myself! Good news though dear reader, we are finally at the last YouTube break as we approach the final three entries of my Top 36 Gaming Experiences of the Year!!! So let us cleanse our palates from games for a moment and grab a Yoo-Hoo from the fridge and mix it with a shot of Rumchata as we watch my last YouTube recommendations. Cinemassacre started a new line of videos on their channel in 2018 that I got into called Rental Reviews. Those reviews are four guys gathering around and breaking down a new or classic movie they watched earlier that week and it reminded me of going to films with a few friends and hanging outside the theater for awhile rambling on about how much we loved or hated that movie. The Cinemassacre crew has some fun with the episodes with mini sketches introducing the episodes and random mid-episode gags. My favorite episodes from their first year that I recommend the most are for Star Trek V, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Rental Store Memories, Street Fighter, Die Hard & Commando. Now that we got all that movie criticism out of the way, let us proceed with the final three entries for the year. Thank you all to have hung in with me so far on this one-of-a-kind game of the year journey! PART 7 - RANKINGS 3 THROUGH 1 3) Returning to the Midwest Gaming Classic

From 2007-2013 one of my favorite times of the year was attending a local retro game expo, The Midwest Gaming Classic. Many great times were had there hunting down retro games, hanging out with an awesome forum community I once frequented, classic sessions of late-night karaoke and checking out tons of arcade machines and game consoles set up on free play. Unfortunately the timing of it always fell in a rough time of the year for me and it grew increasingly difficult to make time for it each year until it came down to where I had to stop going for four years. I was not going to make it this year again until a couple of my online gaming friends who I hung out with at MGC before and still keep in touch with asked if I was making it and that convinced me to pull some strings at work and manage to split up some vacation days I had coming so I was able to make the 12-hour drive out to Milwaukee and back home with a couple hours to spare before my first shift back at work. Bear with me as I give yet another shoutout to Glenn and Jeff for reaching out and asking me about MGC because it resulted in an awesome weekend with some wicked weather to dance around to make it there and back. Wound up hanging out and touching base again with tons of great people I had not seen in four or five years. We had a blast hanging out late night after the show playing SNES games on a projector until we were zombies and watching the spiritual successor to King of Kong in Man vs. Snake. It also helped that MGC has moved to a bigger and nicer venue from the last time I went with room to grow. It was like MGC got revitalized by having adequate room for the mammoth vendor halls, game museum, free play arcade and conference rooms for speakers and panels. I caught a few panels on retro gaming and hung out with On the Stick’s Joe Drilling talking wrasslin’ and retro gaming after his panel. I succeeded in my game hunting quest in the vendor hall to hunt down the last couple of NES PowerPad games I did not own, and accidentally came across a homebrew bag toss game I never heard of before called Tailgate Party that I picked up to complete the collection. It proved to be a epic time that I was barely able to pull off at the last minute, but I do not regret it because it was yet another classic MGC weekend for the ages! 2) Forklift Races

It is kind of hard to place how much I love both Shenmue I & II. I got a theory from 1997-2000 for people who played either Final Fantasy VII, Metal Gear Solid or Shenmue fresh off their release. For those three games, people would be so blown away by their then-groundbreaking new standards set for their cinematic cutscenes and ambitious narratives that they would remain forever loyal to that particular game and swear by it forever no matter how credible the negative criticism is out there for those games. That is exactly what happened to me with Shenmue as it was the first of those three games I played, and I have seen people react in near-identical fashion to the other two games. I am aware of the criticism for Shenmue and I will not deny it, but there is so much else going for it that won me over that it made me overlook it and enabled me to have one of the best single player experiences in a game ever. These last few years I was getting the itch to replay the original Shenmue when the Kickstarter was announced and funded in record time for Shenmue III. I was pleasantly surprised Sega quietly announced they were releasing a HD remaster of the first two games for current platforms to cash in on the upcoming sequel. As soon as the remaster collection hit in the summer of 2018 I dropped all other gaming and cruised through the first Shenmue within a month. I was initially trepid that the unique controls would be so outdated that Shenmue would be near unplayable. It was indeed a clumsy control scheme to get reacquainted with for my first 10-15 minutes, but after that I was whisked away back to 2000 again when I first experienced Shenmue and I was reminded how much I loved the setting of Dobuita. There are plenty of cheesy characters filled with so-awful-its-great voice acting that it was a treat reliving it all over again.

Like Night in the Woods I developed a regular daily routine while in the process of hunting down clues to find out more on who killed Ryo’s father so he could avenge his death. I would start off the day going to the local corner vending machines and grabbing an iced coffee and capsule toy. Ryo has got to have his morning coffee with the absurdly drawn-out drinking animation every morning like any other ordinary person! I would talk to as many regular shopkeepers I would about finding the latest clue and occasionally would have to battle off some street thugs for information or chase them down in a QTE sequence that Shenmue helped institutionalize among games. A guilty pleasure was visiting You Arcade nearly every in-game day for a round of a perfectly emulated version of Hang-On that I kind of was starting to ‘get gud’ at the checkpoint-based racer by the end of Shenmue. Eventually I got Ryo his infamous job driving forklifts as the plot came to a boil with Ryo hot on the tail of his father’s killer! Every day at work started off with a forklift race that had a catchy theme song I made up lyrics to nod along with for momentum. There was an achievement for winning a race…..it was the only achievement I failed to achieve! The penultimate 70-man mega-battle leading up to the final boss fight was a rush and a half to experience all over. Again, there was some outdated controls and other quirkiness that was noticeable, but it did not get in the way from my unabashed love for the series resulting in my replay of the orginal Shenmue being my second best gaming experience of 2018! I cannot recommend it for everyone as I have seen the nature of that game rub some people the wrong way and my only answer for that is Shenmue is not for everybody. My spirits were riding high after finishing it that I started watching GiantBomb’s endurance run of it recently, and I went out and tracked down the vinyl OST for Shenmue and additionally the vinyl OST for Hang-On as well. Yup, I am kind of into Shenmue just a hair or two. I did not start up Shenmue II yet off the remaster set and plan to plow through it before Shenmue III’s currently planned August 2019 release. 1) Oh my God, You Killed Connor!

After 16,000 words we are finally here at #1! I know Detroit: Become Human has some hot-button controversies around it and if you decided to avoid the game I totally get it and respect that. Now that I got that out of the way let me start by saying I have been a huge fan of Quantic Dreams going back to Indigo Prophecy and Heavy Rain. I even dug Beyond: Two Souls regardless of that title getting messy at a few points. I know each game has their fair share of nitpicks, but the thing Quantic Dreams nails is how they branch out their stories with its multitude of choice-based gameplay having actual impactful results in the narrative. This is not like most Telltale games where the greater arc stays the same, but the journey is slightly altered. No, characters can abruptly die when presented with a sudden major decision or major paths can be altered to skip entire levels. That is what I loved about Quantic Dreams’ games is these major chances they take on their games and Detroit absolutely kills it in these departments. Quantic also lives up to their past precedents set by moving the bar for Detroit being a true technical marvel and one of the best looking games this generation of consoles. This is coming from a person playing on a slim PS4 and not a 4K Pro system so I can only imagine the improvements if I were to play on a 4K setup. Like Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy, Detroit follows the story arcs of several characters. All four are androids at different states of becoming ‘deviant’ and thinking for themselves. Each character path has major moments where I had to pause the game and think over the imperative decision I was presented with. Quantic Dreams is clever at masking some choices as right or wrong that created some moments that I will never forget. Android Detective Connor and his human partner Detective Anderson were my favorite characters to follow throughout the game. Connor can get killed off like other characters in the game, but unlike other characters he is always instantly replaceable from the agency. I did not know that when my Connor perished in a jaw-dropping way I did not see coming. I instantly debated on rewinding my last save to play it differently, but I sternly stuck to my decisions the whole game no matter how they played out. I was relieved to see Connor come back and continue his love/hate relationship with Anderson, and eventually became amused by the inadvertent ways my decision making kept getting my Connor killed.

The other characters all had nearly equal major moments to get behind with a few examples such as saving a daughter from her abusive father in one of the most intense escape sequences in Detroit, rescuing a bunch of experimented androids from a psychopath, leading a android-rights revolution to trying to stealthily escape from the madness to the Canadian border. Quantic Dreams always has had Quick Time Events (QTE) button prompts handle the majority of their gameplay, and they have evolved it with each of their games to have the best implementation of QTE in gaming. Minus a few key moments they almost never result in a instant game over if one QTE prompt is missed and there usually is a few chances to correct a mistake in order to recover and win the scene…or you can intentionally fail and flub through a fight or chase scene like a dummy to hilariously disastrous results. Depending on how you succeed through the prompts and the narrative based decisions made results in an ostensibly infinite amount of endings for each character. Quantic Dreams introduced a remarkable new feature at the end of each scene where a branching tree of decision options is displayed showing the choices made and blank boxes representing other options available and the percentage of the connected PS4 users that picked each option. From this same dialogue tree box checkpoints can be selected to pick up right from there in the gameplay scene to change a decision you were unsatisfied with. After finishing Detroit within two days I took advantage of this and hopped into one key part of the plot where Connor is presented with a choice that essentially gets the ball rolling for the final two-to-three hours of gameplay. I replayed that final chunk of scenes three more times within a week to see big differences in the endings for each character. Some did not survive, others endings all my characters made it to the end while others wound up skipping out on some of the most pivotal scenes in the entire game based on earlier decisions. I knew two other coworkers who were on the fence on picking up Detroit who were fans of Quantic’s previous games and I insisted on borrowing out my copy and we later went on to thoroughly breakdown how we handled key decisions and our various endings. It is insanely rare for a game to cause me to replay it multiple times that soon and that is saying something special about Detroit: Become Human and why it is my #1 gaming experience of 2018. ---The End?---

My word tally count is now tipping over 17,000 words so I think I better end this. It took me nearly 10 days to write this, and I do not blame you if it took that long to read it. That said I hope this proved to be a best of the year list/round-up like no other you experienced! Once again, if you liked what you read and want more of my end of the year ramblings then I will refer you to my best of 2017 and best of 2016 top gaming experiences features. So until next year…..oh wait I almost forgot it would be inappropriate of me to suddenly end this without rewarding you with a few more YouTube recommendations! I failed in unearthing my all-time favorite SNL sketch of Sports Center with Ray Ramono and Tim Meadows, so this sketch on the origins of the iconic NBA on NBC Theme will have to suffice. Need a refreshing beverage after getting through this list; Dusty Rhodes has the answer for you! These sparring kickboxers needed some beverages after getting bombarded in their training session by a acapella group. Mr. Worf wants to drain his sorrows in other beverages after witnessing this montage of his fails. Finally, here is a nice compilation of background music for your home with the top 100 ranked N64 songs of all time. Ok that is seriously it for 2018, thank you again everyone for riding this out with me! If you want to send any feedback my way I would love to hear it so reach out to me on my Twitter @Gruel or email dkulas @ hotmail.com.

[onlinecoachdan-blog]

Are You Passionate About Life?

It’s no shock that not many people are very passionate about their lives. I am doing some research on the subject and asked some people their thoughts and here is what they said about it:

At 26, I feel like I should definitely be further in life! Like I should have more accomplishments! In result, I clock in everyday to a Job (For the past 9 years) that I hate! I feel like There are so many things I'm good at, but haven't really figured out which one I can really say that I have a passion for! Idk where to start..... instead of picking something, going back to school and getting a degree for that, Ive waisted literally years of doing nothing!

And I think you're right, you need to go out and work at finding your passion. If it's something that you're not already aware of. Most people never find there passion because they fall in lust and have kids and need to support their family, if you don't have the luxury of changing jobs of not having security. And the reverse is that you follow your passion and then when you're too old you think I wish I would've taken the time to have a family. Life is a very precarious balancing act. If your passion consumes you, you must realize that there will be a sacrifice in your life because to have balance is very difficult to maintain!��

Unlike so many of the other individuals that have commented, I am 26 years old and i am still struggling to find what matters. I majored in Economics , i have worked as a teacher and now i am in the hospice industry, kind of crazy. I am extremely eager to fund something i am passionate about. Sometimes i cry bc i find myself very lost in the world.

I'm currently going through this phase understanding myself and figuring out my passion and not caring what others think. It has been a battle and I can't seem to figure out my passion. At this very moment I know that I enjoy being part of fashion, makeup, acting and celebrities, but I just don't how to find where I belong and how to go about it. I hoping that maybe you can create a video more depth about it.

I know what I want to do. But every day if I have a free time I end up procrastinating and just play video games. Although I set 2 hours every day doing what I really want. Is it passion? Cause if its passion, I really should've been doing it and not just setting 2 hours every day, instead I should dedicate my whole free time. So it passion? or Is it lack of self discipline?

I have been feeling without passion, without feeling and have become frustrated. I am a college student and a millennial in the heart of our generation entering adulthood. I have experienced a lot of adverse events throughout my short life - and I feel like I am very close to success but I really love the concept of finding my "authentic self”.

Is it possible that you feel you know your passion but by a sudden decision you make you change your way so you feel lost in that situation? I mean what is passion really?is it what you wanna be or is it just way of planning all you have to go on a way to reach your passion?can you change job by reasoning yourself but not really noticing how its really serving your passion and then never reach your passion?...I'm lost I’ve stopped working thinking that iv once known how I'm gonna do what I'm meant to do but i feel like I'm stuck in a situation that i don't know how to handle...should i give up on my situation? And forget my reasons for a scheduled way to get to my passion?

The problem in doing your passion is that some times you will need to survive in order to even start doing it. Surviving in this world means to be dependent on yourself by yourself and that is by getting a job "At least" so you can live as a normal person in your society. So basically it is hard and I think it is very very rare for someone to start his passion from his early age and continue in that path until it will be a life career.

It never comes that quick, most important is to be highly aware of your identity, have the state to be comfortable only on your own without any need for external stimulation that will make you temporarily happy, let the past go, do not worry about trying new things, jobs and places which helps you to come up with new ideas feeding your future passion.

I'm in art school for illustration and I have to find out what kind of illustration I want to do. I love what I've been doing I tried out classes from different tracks. I like them all, and I did good with all of them. But I still can't decide. I know it's not good if I try to do everything at the same time. And now I'm starting to lose energy in things I'm doing since my goal isn't as clear as what I had before anymore.

I’ve literally done all these things and still don’t know. I’ve been to 21 countries, I read 5 books a month, I’ve had 6 different jobs, I have a college degree and I’m almost 30 and not closer to knowing.

Well, I would argue that if you are not willing to work for your passion, then it is not really a true passion... A passion by definition is something that you feel compelled to do and you obsessively and compulsively do it and you enjoy it.

I´m confused with my passion. I still haven´t found that one passion I want to devote my whole life to... Well, to be honest, many times I thought I found it but when I look back I see how wrong I was at that time... I went through many very different stages... I wanted to be a biologist, pharmacist... than I studied psychology for one year... Than I was working on my own line of hand made notebooks... Than I found out that four of my five biggest strengths are learning and thinking associated... So I got into studying psychology and personal development on my own... But every time I realized after a while that it is not something I want to do for the rest of my life... Now I really got into fitness, nutrition and wellbeing so an idea of a lifestyle-ćhange-coach came to my mind... But after all the experience with not clicking with what I really thought I want to do I´m a little discouraged to make the first steps... Does anybody have any suggestions about this?

The "follow you passion" advice, is based on these premises: 1. Passion is consequent. 2. Passion is going to make you successful/Passion is more important than success. 3. Passion is an autonomous thing that you can "find" and "follow". 4. Passion is going to make it all easy. 5. Passion is not created, but found. 6. Everyone has a passion. 7. Passion is going to replace discipline, because of the sheer amount of motivation. 8. The Passion Advice is not something successful people use in a speech to cover up the real factors for their success(hard work and talent), because they are humble.

I'm really in a bit of an issue.

I'm 18, last year of school before college and we are going over career/courses etc.

I was told to sit one online, but I got my mother to oversee my answers to ensure I wasn't fooling myself or subliminally directing myself.

Strange thing is any question regarding being a musician, playing in a band, and/or writing songs she 'strongly agreed' with.

I've never said I want a career in music, I play guitar and sing/write songs. I've also mentioned how I'd like to join a band in college but she sees me as a musician.

A lot of people do apparently, I'm shy, short, quiet but aggressive when pressed with something I'm not comfortable in/with.

I've never played on stage yet she gets the impression a career in music is where I should go. That music is my passion and therefore my ideal career.

Resources

http://coachinginst.com/life

https://www.inc.com/magazine/20060401/coach.html

https://www.quora.com/What-are-people-passionate-about-in-life

http://jackcanfield.com/blog/finding-life-purpose/

https://work.chron.com/define-passion-life-10132.html

http://coachinginst.com/find

[definingvalue-blog]

Architecture Activism & Brutalism. Birmingham Central Library Campaign Case Study (Part IV)

The outcomes of the campaign

(Image 4.1 ‘Members of the public and students joined Birmingham Against The Cuts in public spending affecting the new Library of Birmingham’)

New library with new problems

The new library of Birmingham was finally completed in 2013 officially costing an astounding £188 million, and shortly after its triumphal opening started suffering from financial shortcomings caused by higher than expected operating costs of £10m per year, private investment shortfall which was initially a big plan for council and considerable repayment of £12m per year for its projected total cost of £500m for construction over next 40 years as a result of council’s short-sighted borrowing policy and desire for the new development [1],[2]. After visiting the new library in 2015, Lynsey Hanley from the Guardian, pointed out that current cost saving measures already resulted in official appeal to public for book donation (image 4.2) after halting purchase order budget, reduced working hours, large cuts of trained staff and early signs of run down facilities around the building as a clear representation that council’s ‘enterprise has been falling to bits’.[3] The local council budget cuts eventually caused local people to protest on the street a few times since 2015 (Image 4.1), who demanded to stop these policies that affect the work of new library. Although if we allow for some cynicism in here, perhaps they should have been more vocal to save the old building at the first place that may have been not ‘pretty enough’, but yet was serving its purpose for the public for almost 40 years. It is now undebatable that these current problems were predicted by experts and could have been avoided if the old building had been retained and expanded as suggested by campaigners. Quite notably, by the end of 2015 the vast of demolition proponents including the city council Mike Whitby, regeneration chief Clive Dutton, chief librarian Brian Gambles, and the Argent’s chief Gary Taylor have left their high posts - quite possibly moving their reputations away from this controversial decision and leaving newly elected leaders to deal with the outcomes.[4] Therefore, replacing the old public building with a new one may not be the success regeneration plan that local councils were expecting afterwards.

(Image 4.2 ‘The brand new library of Birmingham is now asking local folks to donate books and other publications’)

Reminder for others

The truly damaging outcome of campaign failure was the destruction of a large concrete building that barely served its users for 40 years, leaving hundreds of tons of concrete rubble whilst local newspapers were proudly reporting on every demolition milestone celebrating the total council’s victory over its conscience.[5] There was still a very weak chance for the building to be saved in January 2015, as the campaigners had submitted the third application for listing straight after the certificate of immunity would have expired on 11th of January.[6] Although the new city council proceeded with the demolition immediately prior to the activists' last attempt to save the structure, and the Birmingham Central Library has finally made to the top ten list of ‘Lost Modern’ UK buildings issued by The Twentieth Century Society, that aims to raise awareness of potential risk to modernist heritage.[7] This list (Image 4.3) is a valuable reminder to prospecting conservation architects and campaigners about the present reality of modernism preservation in the UK, that may stimulate a bigger debate for a change in listing processes in the future.

(Image 4.3 ‘Screenshot of the Lost Modern list from the C20 Society page, which aims to raise awareness of this threat to modernist heritage’)

Talk less, post more

The campaign was a valuable lesson for both the campaigners and their opponents. If the latter demonstrated a rather reactionary judgement on heritage without really being publically confronted for their own words such as, for example, Coun Whitby’s disregard of the building listing legal outcomes. On the contrary, the activists were operating with facts, but not particularly well established or active within social media at the beginning of the campaign operating mostly through local newspapers, which is still a present challenge for their new Brutiful Brum blog, currently displaying lack of action. As a result, this research was dependent on material that was sourced from various local news rather than disappeared or inactive personal blogs of campaigners, who were directly involved in the process. In the article Saving Buildings With Social Media published in the New Yorker, architecture critic Alexandra Lange suggests that in addition to attractive speculations of the forgotten value of those at-risk buildings through b&w or before/after pictures online, the more effective measure would be to expose the actual demolition in its gruesome irreversible action, explaining that ‘the dailiness, even hourliness, of social media makes it a perfect vehicle for documenting each thump of the wrecking ball, each crunch of the backhoe. Its visual slant is ideal for activism wrapped up in pictures’.[8] In the Birmingham case, the local newspapers succeeded more in keeping antagonists visually satisfied with regular demolition updates (Image 4.4 & 4.5) rather than activists or local citizens, who were deeply concerned about the environmental impact of this decision and yet didn’t mention a glimpse of the destruction they opposed. Arguably, if the local people once again had had a chance to see more visual (photographic or video) evidence of the active use of the former central library building timely when it wasn't too late, they would be more nostalgic and sympathetic towards saving it. (Image 4.5)

(Image 4.4 & 4.5 ‘The examples of exciting video showing how the destruction of Birmingham Central Library has been attracting attention of readers online’

Publication

With regard to previous notable Brutalist campaign outcomes, quite a few of them were recorded with book publications chronologically describing context of the full story with agencies and outcomes, spruced up with some additional interesting architectural or historic material which is usually underused with polemical craze. Previously C20 Society have published a book called Robin Hood Gardens: Re-Visions by Alan Powers about the history of the Smithsons designed estate and reflective essays on its architectural importance, including sketches and never seen photographs from the architect’s personal archives that celebrate the building which was about to disappear.[9] In case of the Birmingham campaign framework, Alan Clawley, who has been known for advocating this building for more than a decade in December 2015 released a book titled Library Story: A History of Birmingham Central Library prior to the imminent demolition of the 42 years old iconic building. In the review by C20 Society, the book is ‘much about the myths, propaganda and blinkered thinking that allowed the power-brokers of Birmingham to destroy one of Britain’s most significant modernist buildings’.[10] According to Mike Fox's review from SaveBritBlog, despite its generally engaging storyline about the campaigners attempts, he points out occasional lack of objectivity, tiresome extensive portrayal of events in comparison to descriptions of significant architectural qualities of the building and lack of illustration material that all could help to emphasise such a dedication over these years.[11] Arguably, publishing the book about the lost building is in a certain way ensuring that the legacy would be saved and could be reflected on in the future campaigns. In the case of Save Dunelm House campaign, it would be useful to create a piece of written work that could reflect on events and work that has been already undertaken by people who worked during the campaign.

(Image 4.6 ‘The Library Story: a history of Birmingham Central Library by Alan Clawley’ 

(Image 4.7 - Birmingham Central Library decanted interiors were used for filming MI5 HQ in BBC2 TV series The Game )

Visual documentary

The very last public worldwide appearance of the Birmingham Central library was in 2015 when decanted for demolition. The building was suddenly chosen as filming location of MI5 building in London in BBC2 TV series The Game, where the 1970’s Brutalist interiors of the spy headquarters were perfectly accomplishing the right atmosphere for the Gold War period (Image 4.7).[12] Undoubtedly, this helped to commemorate the building in popular TV series, even if it cannot be considered as a preservation measure. The other interesting visual outcome of this campaign inspired an artist and independent filmmaker Andy Howlett to start working on his own documentary film Paradise Lost: History in the Un-Making (Image 4.8) after visually recording material about the building for three years. According to artist’s film page on Indiegogo platform, the film ‘has been investigating the untimely demise of Birmingham's iconic Central Library…amassed a wealth of footage, spoken to an array of experts and eccentrics, and filled several notebooks with theories, insights and revelations’.[13] In recent interview with Electrolyte Magazine, Howlett stated that the upcoming movie is not exclusively about the history of the building and Utopian vision for Paradise Circus area, but ‘it is a psycho-geographical survey of Paradise Circus’ that aims to work out this public place by personally experiencing it with building, and he is concerned that after redevelopment ‘it won’t be public land, it’ll all be private... that’s a big theme of the film, the selling of public space’ calling it the ‘blandadisation’.[14] The rough cut of the film will be demonstrated this September as part of the nationwide Scalarama Festival. This documentary outcome is particularly interesting to reflect upon as our group has focused to produce our own documentary film on Dunelm House that could be extended into something more polemical and artistic in case of unfortunate scenario with Save Dunelm House campaign. Alike with Howlett’s film about the library and surrounding it controversy, the film can become both – a creative final tribute piece and testament to Dunelm House, memorizing its significance, presence and agencies, which were involved at opposite sides of its preservation story. We might consider an opportunity to contact the artist to learn more from his personal experience on working on such a project.

(Image 4.8 ‘Paradise Lost: History in the Un-Making’) 

Memorabilia

Another interesting outcome originating from our popular culture is memorising architecture similarly to notable places we visit while travelling - in a form of various merchandise that brings some notable demolished Brutalist buildings back to life on mugs, individual artists prints and other pricey memorabilia that further re-surges interest of public. In case of Birmingham’s disappearing modernist heritage, in May 2016 the Birmingham-based architectural and urban designer group Space_Play launched a project BRUTAL BRUM that celebrates iconic demolished modernist buildings as wooden laser-cut artworks or concrete casts of Madin’s Central Library (Image 4.8) and other notable buildings reminding of their disregarded social value.[15],[16] Even if this can be considered as a commercialist way of approaching the subject of heritage, it is still worth reflecting on if it is used the right way. For example, The Dunelm House campaign was providing handmade prints issued by local artists in exchange for some money donation to run high-profile campaign and events in the future, so no one at the end would feel disillusioned with efforts to save the building.[17]

(Image 4.9 ‘Central Library handmade plaster cast by SPACE_PLAY celebrating demolished building as home decoration)

Establishing local preservation action group

Finally, this campaign also raised more interest to Birmingham’s still surviving mid-century architecture attracting less radical and more constructive opinions about cities modernist heritage with new enthusiastic people to get involved into various preservation efforts for the future. The established during campaign to preserve Central library group ‘Brutiful Birmingham’ aims to turn its attention to Smallbrook Queensway and other notable modernist architecture at risk in Birmingham hoping they can negotiate with the planning authorities and developers to influence future potential redevelopment projects with these buildings (Image 4.10).[18]

(Image 4.10 ‘the Brutiful Brum campaign group on Twitter’)

Reference list

[1] http://www.thestateofthearts.co.uk/features/library-birmingham-commerce-cuts-spectacle/

[2] https://www.birminghampost.co.uk/news/local-news/shortfall-private-investment-library-birmingham-7952854

[3] https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/14/birmingham-city-library-cuts-lynsey-hanley

[4] http://thebirminghampress.com/2015/10/the-last-of-the-wreckers/

[5] https://www.birminghampost.co.uk/business/commercial-property/watch-central-library-demolition-nearing-11567872

[6] https://c20society.org.uk/regions/brutiful-campaign-group-fight-on-for-madins-library/

[7] https://c20society.org.uk/lost-modern/

[8] https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/makes-building-worth-saving

[9] http://www.d-talks.com/2011/02/robin-hood-gardens-re-visions/

[10] https://c20society.org.uk/publications/c20-magazine/c20-magazine-2016-01/review-library-story-a-history-of-birmingham-central-library/

[11] https://savebritblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/01/book-review-library-story-a-history-of-birmingham-central-library/

[12] http://www.filmbirmingham.co.uk/news/filmed-in-birmingham-bbc2-the-game-starts-tonight/

[13] https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/paradise-lost-history-in-the-un-making#/

[14] https://www.brumpic.com/birmingham-on-film-paradise-lost/2017/4/17/birmingham-on-film-paradise-lost

[15] http://www.space-play.co.uk/birmingham-central-library/

[16] http://babmag.co.uk/space-play-brutal-brum/

[17] https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/save-dunelm-house-donate

[18] http://brutifulbirmingham.blogspot.com/

Image list

4.1 - https://thisisbirmingham.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/library-of-birmingham-occupation-rally-6-folob.jpg

4.2 - https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/The-Library-of-Birmingham-opened-in-2013-and-cost-188-million-597985.jpg

4.3 - https://c20society.org.uk/lost-modern/ (screenshot)

4.4 - https://www.expressandstar.com/news/2016/07/30/watch-birmingham-central-library-demolition-in-90-seconds/ (screenshot)

4.5 - https://www.expressandstar.com/news/2016/07/30/watch-birmingham-central-library-demolition-in-90-seconds/ (screenshot)

4.6 - http://paradisecircus.com/files/2016/01/FullSizeRender-1024x768.jpg

4.7 - https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/896x504/p02h796n.jpg

4.8 - https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/paradise-lost-history-in-the-un-making#/ (screenshot)

4.9 - https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DLWnCwGW0AASPkt.jpg 

4.10 - https://twitter.com/brutifulbrum?lang=en (screenshot)

[themoneybuff-blog]

Thinking in bets: How to make smarter decisions

I read a lot of books. Nearly every book has some nugget of wisdom I can take from it, but its rare indeed when I read a book and feel like Ive hit the mother lode. In 2018, Ive been fortunate enough to read two books that Ill be mining for years to come. The first was Sapiens, the 2015 brief history of mankind from Yuval Noah Harari. I finished the second book yesterday: Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke. Duke is a professional poker player; Thinking in Bets is her attempt to take lessons from the world of poker and apply them to making smarter decisions in all aspects of life. Thinking in bets starts with recognizing that there are exactly two things that determine how our lives turn out, Duke writes in the books introduction. Those two things? The quality of our decisions and luck. Learning to recognize the difference between the two is what thinking in bets is all about. We have complete control over the quality of our decisions but we have little (or no) control over luck. The Quality of Our Decisions The first (and greatest) variable in how our lives turn out is the quality of our decisions. People have a natural tendency to conflate the quality of a decision with the quality of its outcome. Theyre not the same thing. You can make a smart, rational choice but still get poor results. That doesnt mean you should have made a different choice; it simply means that other factors (such as luck) influenced the results. Driving home drunk, for instance, is a poor decision. Just because you make arrive home without killing yourself or anyone else does not mean you made a good choice. It merely means you got a good result. Duke gives an example from professional football. At the end of Super Bowl XLIX, the Seattle Seahawks were down by four points with 26 seconds left in the game. They had the ball with second down at the New England Patriots one-yard line. While everbody expected them to run the ball, they threw a pass. That pass was intercepted and the Seawhawks lost the game. [embedded content] Armchair quarterbacks around the world complained that this was the worst play-call in NFL history. (Ive linked to just four stories there. Theyre all brutal. You can find many more online.) Duke argues, though, that the call was fine. In fact, she believes it was a smart call. It was a quality decision. There was only a 2% chance that the ball would be intercepted. There was a high percentage chance of winning the game with a touchdown. Most importantly, if the pass was incomplete, the Seahawks would have two more plays to try again. But if the team opted to run instead? Because they only had one time-out remaining, theyd only get one more chance to score if they failed. The call wasnt bad. The result was bad. Theres a big difference between these two things, but humans generally fail to differentiate between actions and results. Duke says that poker players have a term for this logical fallacy: resulting. Resulting is assuming your decision-making is good or bad based on a small set of outcomes. If you play your cards correctly but still lose a hand, youre resulting when you focus on the outcome instead of the quality of your decisions. You cannot control outcomes; you can only control your actions. Note: As long-time readers know, I grew up Mormon. One of the songs we were taught as children has this terrific lyric: Do what is right, let the consequence follow. This has become something of a mantra for me as an adult. If I do the right thing whatever that might be in a given context then I cannot feel guilty if I get a poor result. Its my job to do my best. Beyond that, I cannot control what happens. Luck and Incomplete Information Why dont smart decisions always lead to good results? Because we dont have complete control over our lives and we dont have all of the information. Fundamentally, Duke says, results are influenced by luck. Randomness. Chance. Happenstance. She writes: We are uncomfortable with the idea that luck plays a significant role in our lives. We recognize the existence of luck, but we resist the idea that, despite our best efforts, things might not work out the way we want. It feels better to imagine the world as an orderly place, where randomness does not wreak havoc and things are perfectly predictable. Duke contrasts poker (and life) with chess. Chess is a game of complete information, a game of pure skill. Theres no luck involved. At all times, all of the pieces are available for both players to see. There are no dice rolls, nothing to randomize the game. As a result, the better player almost always wins. (When the better player doesnt win, its because of easily identifiable mistakes.) Because chess is a game of complete information, luck isnt a factor the outcome is only a matter of the quality of your decisions. In poker, however, theres a lot you dont know. What cards do your opponents hold? What cards remain in the deck? How likely are your opponents to bluff? And so on. Experienced poker players learn to think in terms of odds. With this hand, I have a 74% chance of winning. I should fold. These cards only give me a 18% chance of coming out ahead. Its because our decisions are made with incomplete information that life sometimes seems so difficult. You can do the right thing and still get poor results. You can opt not to drink on New Years Eve, for instance, but still get blindsided by somebody who did to drink and drive. You made a quality decision, but happenstance hit you upside the head anyhow. Duke cites a scene from The Princess Bride as an example of how incomplete information affects the outcomes of our decisions. Criminal mastermind Vizzini and the Dread Pirate Roberts engage in a battle of wits: [embedded content] Vizzini pours two goblets of wine, then Roberts (actually our hero, Westley, in disguise) poisons one of them with deadly ioacane powder. The challenge is for Vizzini to choose the non-poisoned goblet. Vizzini cackles with glee when Roberts/Westley downs the poison but then falls dead after drinking his own goblet. It turns out both goblets had been poisoned, but Roberts had spent the previous few years building an immunity to iocane powder. Vizzini made a quality decision based on the information he had, but he didnt have all of the information: both goblets were poisoned, and his opponent in this battle of wits was immune to the poison in the first place! Thinking in Bets Duke argues that in order to make smarter decisions, we have to embrace both the idea that theres a lot of luck in life and the reality that were swimming in uncertainty. Theres a stigma in our culture about appearing ignorant, about being unsure. Duke says that becoming comfortable with uncertainty and not knowing is a vital step to becoming a better decision-maker. Admitting that we dont know has an undeservedly bad reputation, she writes. What makes a decision great is not that it has a great outcome. A great decision is the result of a good process, and that process must include an attempt to accurately represent our own state of knowledge. That state of knowledge, in turn, is some variation of Im not sure. Duke suggests that by moving to a framework of Im not sure, were far less likely to fall into the trap of black and white thinking, of false certainty. She cites Stuart Firesteins TED talk about the pursuit of ignorance: [embedded content] We should be pursuing high-quality ignorance. Based on all of this, how then can we make smarter decisions? Duke says that we should stop thinking in terms of right and wrong. Few things are ever 0% or 100% likely to occur. Few people are ever 0% or 100% right about what they know or believe. Instead, we should think in bets. Decisions are bets on the future, Duke writes, and they arent right or wrong based on whether they turn out well on any particular iteration. An unwanted decision doesnt make our decision wrong if we thought about the alternatives and probabilities in advance and allocated our resources accordingly. Duke says that because pro poker players learn to think in terms of odds during their games, they transfer this way of thinking to everyday life. Job and relocation decisions are bets, she writes. Sales negotiations and contracts are bets. Buying a house is a bet. Ordering the chicken instead of the steak is a bet. Everything is a bet. Just as each poker bet carries a different chance of success (based on the quality of the hand, the hands of the other players, etc.), so too the bets we make in life carry different chances of success. And our personal beliefs have (or should have) varying degrees of certainty. Duke wants readers to begin thinking about their beliefs and decisions in terms of probabilities rather than in terms of black and white. Turns out I already do this to a small degree but usually for minor stuff. In fact, Ive done it several times in the past week. A few days ago, I was listening to a Big Band station on Pandora. The song Green Eyes came on. I wonder what year this is from? I thought. I listened to the vocals, to the band, to the recording quality. I think theres an 80% chance this song is from 1939 give or take two years, I thought. I looked it up. The song was released in 1941. (I listen to a lot of older music, and I play this game often.)Because its been hot in Portland lately, folks in my neighborhood have all been taking early morning walks. We all tend to follow the same two-mile loop because its easy. Ive started playing a game when I pass somebody. Okay, the dog and I passed David Hedges at the llama farm. Where will we encounter him on the top side of the loop? Ill be its between Roys house and the bottom of the hill. Its fun for me to see how accurate my guesses are. Duke believes that we should each do this sort of thing whenever we make a decision. Before we commit to a course of action, we should think about possible outcomes and how likely each of those outcomes is to occur. Lets say youve only got $200 in the bank and its a week from payday. Should you join your friends for that weekend motorcycle trip? Or should you save that cash in case something goes wrong? Or, thinking farther in the future, what outcomes are you seeking in life? What decision will improve the odds of achieving those outcomes? Or, imagine that youre trying to decide whether or not to buy a home. As you consider the possibilities, think about the probability that each possible future will occur. Dont simply cling to the outcome youre hoping for. Be objective. If the odds of success seem reasonable, then pursue your desired course of action. But if they dont, then pull the plug. Duke writes: In most of our decisions, we are not betting against another person. Rather, we are betting against all the future versions of ourselves that we are not choosing. We are constantly deciding among alternative futures: one where we go to the movies, one where we go bowling, one where we stay home. Or futures where we take a job in Des Moines, stay at our current job, or take some time away from work. Whenever we make a choice, we are betting on a potential future. Every choice carries an opportunity cost. When you choose to save for the future, for instance, youre giving up pleasure in the present. Or, if you choose to spend in the present, youre giving up future financial freedom. Final Thoughts

For a long time, Ive argued that the best books about money are often not about money at all. Thinking in Bets is another example of this. While Duke uses plenty of personal finance examples, the book itself is about self-improvement. Its not a money manual. Yet the info here could have a profound impact on your financial future. Theres a lot more in this book that I havent covered in my review. (Ive really only touched on the first third of the material!) For me, the biggest takeaway comes early: Its vital to separate decision quality from results. The rest of the book explores how to improve the quality of your decisions. Among the strategies Duke advocates are these: Learn to examine your own beliefs. Be your own devils advocate. If youre certain about something, explore the opposing viewpoint. (If youre liberal, seek conservative opinions. If youre conservative, look for liberal voices.) Be skeptical of yourself and others.Build a network of trusted advisors, people who can give you feedback on your beliefs and decisions. But dont make these support groups homogeneous. Draw on people from a variety of backgrounds and belief systems. If you only associate with people who think the same way you do, you never give yourself a chance to grow, and youll never spot possible errors in your thinking. (This is like the current problems Facebook is facing with its deliberately-created echo chambers, which only serve to reinforce the way people think instead of challenging them.)When you make decisions, think of the future. Use barriers and pre-commitment to do the right thing automatically. Practice backcasting, a visualization method in which you define a desired outcome then figure out how you might get there. The book is dense dense! with ideas and information. When I finished it, I wanted to go back and read it again. Plus, I wanted to plow through the nearly 200 other works that Duke lists in her bibliography. I feel like I could spend an entire year diving deeper into this book and its related reading. But, as much as I wish it were, Thinking in Bets isnt perfect. A strong argument could be made that this material would work better as a TED talk or a 5000-word essay in The Atlantic (or on Get Rich Slowly!). The book is so packed with info that it sometimes loses its way. Theres also a lot of repetition too much repetition. Plus, it seems to lack a clear sense of organization. These quibbles aside, Thinking in Bets has earned a permanent place on my bookshelf. If I ever get around to putting together a Get Rich Slowly library (a project Ive been planning for years!), this book will be in it. I got a lot out of it. And I bet you will too. https://www.getrichslowly.org/smarter-decisions/

[themoneybuff-blog]

Thinking in bets: How to make smarter decisions

I read a lot of books. Nearly every book has some nugget of wisdom I can take from it, but its rare indeed when I read a book and feel like Ive hit the mother lode. In 2018, Ive been fortunate enough to read two books that Ill be mining for years to come. The first was Sapiens, the 2015 brief history of mankind from Yuval Noah Harari. I finished the second book yesterday: Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke. Duke is a professional poker player; Thinking in Bets is her attempt to take lessons from the world of poker and apply them to making smarter decisions in all aspects of life. Thinking in bets starts with recognizing that there are exactly two things that determine how our lives turn out, Duke writes in the books introduction. Those two things? The quality of our decisions and luck. Learning to recognize the difference between the two is what thinking in bets is all about. We have complete control over the quality of our decisions but we have little (or no) control over luck. The Quality of Our Decisions The first (and greatest) variable in how our lives turn out is the quality of our decisions. People have a natural tendency to conflate the quality of a decision with the quality of its outcome. Theyre not the same thing. You can make a smart, rational choice but still get poor results. That doesnt mean you should have made a different choice; it simply means that other factors (such as luck) influenced the results. Driving home drunk, for instance, is a poor decision. Just because you make arrive home without killing yourself or anyone else does not mean you made a good choice. It merely means you got a good result. Duke gives an example from professional football. At the end of Super Bowl XLIX, the Seattle Seahawks were down by four points with 26 seconds left in the game. They had the ball with second down at the New England Patriots one-yard line. While everbody expected them to run the ball, they threw a pass. That pass was intercepted and the Seawhawks lost the game. [embedded content] Armchair quarterbacks around the world complained that this was the worst play-call in NFL history. (Ive linked to just four stories there. Theyre all brutal. You can find many more online.) Duke argues, though, that the call was fine. In fact, she believes it was a smart call. It was a quality decision. There was only a 2% chance that the ball would be intercepted. There was a high percentage chance of winning the game with a touchdown. Most importantly, if the pass was incomplete, the Seahawks would have two more plays to try again. But if the team opted to run instead? Because they only had one time-out remaining, theyd only get one more chance to score if they failed. The call wasnt bad. The result was bad. Theres a big difference between these two things, but humans generally fail to differentiate between actions and results. Duke says that poker players have a term for this logical fallacy: resulting. Resulting is assuming your decision-making is good or bad based on a small set of outcomes. If you play your cards correctly but still lose a hand, youre resulting when you focus on the outcome instead of the quality of your decisions. You cannot control outcomes; you can only control your actions. Note: As long-time readers know, I grew up Mormon. One of the songs we were taught as children has this terrific lyric: Do what is right, let the consequence follow. This has become something of a mantra for me as an adult. If I do the right thing whatever that might be in a given context then I cannot feel guilty if I get a poor result. Its my job to do my best. Beyond that, I cannot control what happens. Luck and Incomplete Information Why dont smart decisions always lead to good results? Because we dont have complete control over our lives and we dont have all of the information. Fundamentally, Duke says, results are influenced by luck. Randomness. Chance. Happenstance. She writes: We are uncomfortable with the idea that luck plays a significant role in our lives. We recognize the existence of luck, but we resist the idea that, despite our best efforts, things might not work out the way we want. It feels better to imagine the world as an orderly place, where randomness does not wreak havoc and things are perfectly predictable. Duke contrasts poker (and life) with chess. Chess is a game of complete information, a game of pure skill. Theres no luck involved. At all times, all of the pieces are available for both players to see. There are no dice rolls, nothing to randomize the game. As a result, the better player almost always wins. (When the better player doesnt win, its because of easily identifiable mistakes.) Because chess is a game of complete information, luck isnt a factor the outcome is only a matter of the quality of your decisions. In poker, however, theres a lot you dont know. What cards do your opponents hold? What cards remain in the deck? How likely are your opponents to bluff? And so on. Experienced poker players learn to think in terms of odds. With this hand, I have a 74% chance of winning. I should fold. These cards only give me a 18% chance of coming out ahead. Its because our decisions are made with incomplete information that life sometimes seems so difficult. You can do the right thing and still get poor results. You can opt not to drink on New Years Eve, for instance, but still get blindsided by somebody who did to drink and drive. You made a quality decision, but happenstance hit you upside the head anyhow. Duke cites a scene from The Princess Bride as an example of how incomplete information affects the outcomes of our decisions. Criminal mastermind Vizzini and the Dread Pirate Roberts engage in a battle of wits: [embedded content] Vizzini pours two goblets of wine, then Roberts (actually our hero, Westley, in disguise) poisons one of them with deadly ioacane powder. The challenge is for Vizzini to choose the non-poisoned goblet. Vizzini cackles with glee when Roberts/Westley downs the poison but then falls dead after drinking his own goblet. It turns out both goblets had been poisoned, but Roberts had spent the previous few years building an immunity to iocane powder. Vizzini made a quality decision based on the information he had, but he didnt have all of the information: both goblets were poisoned, and his opponent in this battle of wits was immune to the poison in the first place! Thinking in Bets Duke argues that in order to make smarter decisions, we have to embrace both the idea that theres a lot of luck in life and the reality that were swimming in uncertainty. Theres a stigma in our culture about appearing ignorant, about being unsure. Duke says that becoming comfortable with uncertainty and not knowing is a vital step to becoming a better decision-maker. Admitting that we dont know has an undeservedly bad reputation, she writes. What makes a decision great is not that it has a great outcome. A great decision is the result of a good process, and that process must include an attempt to accurately represent our own state of knowledge. That state of knowledge, in turn, is some variation of Im not sure. Duke suggests that by moving to a framework of Im not sure, were far less likely to fall into the trap of black and white thinking, of false certainty. She cites Stuart Firesteins TED talk about the pursuit of ignorance: [embedded content] We should be pursuing high-quality ignorance. Based on all of this, how then can we make smarter decisions? Duke says that we should stop thinking in terms of right and wrong. Few things are ever 0% or 100% likely to occur. Few people are ever 0% or 100% right about what they know or believe. Instead, we should think in bets. Decisions are bets on the future, Duke writes, and they arent right or wrong based on whether they turn out well on any particular iteration. An unwanted decision doesnt make our decision wrong if we thought about the alternatives and probabilities in advance and allocated our resources accordingly. Duke says that because pro poker players learn to think in terms of odds during their games, they transfer this way of thinking to everyday life. Job and relocation decisions are bets, she writes. Sales negotiations and contracts are bets. Buying a house is a bet. Ordering the chicken instead of the steak is a bet. Everything is a bet. Just as each poker bet carries a different chance of success (based on the quality of the hand, the hands of the other players, etc.), so too the bets we make in life carry different chances of success. And our personal beliefs have (or should have) varying degrees of certainty. Duke wants readers to begin thinking about their beliefs and decisions in terms of probabilities rather than in terms of black and white. Turns out I already do this to a small degree but usually for minor stuff. In fact, Ive done it several times in the past week. A few days ago, I was listening to a Big Band station on Pandora. The song Green Eyes came on. I wonder what year this is from? I thought. I listened to the vocals, to the band, to the recording quality. I think theres an 80% chance this song is from 1939 give or take two years, I thought. I looked it up. The song was released in 1941. (I listen to a lot of older music, and I play this game often.)Because its been hot in Portland lately, folks in my neighborhood have all been taking early morning walks. We all tend to follow the same two-mile loop because its easy. Ive started playing a game when I pass somebody. Okay, the dog and I passed David Hedges at the llama farm. Where will we encounter him on the top side of the loop? Ill be its between Roys house and the bottom of the hill. Its fun for me to see how accurate my guesses are. Duke believes that we should each do this sort of thing whenever we make a decision. Before we commit to a course of action, we should think about possible outcomes and how likely each of those outcomes is to occur. Lets say youve only got $200 in the bank and its a week from payday. Should you join your friends for that weekend motorcycle trip? Or should you save that cash in case something goes wrong? Or, thinking farther in the future, what outcomes are you seeking in life? What decision will improve the odds of achieving those outcomes? Or, imagine that youre trying to decide whether or not to buy a home. As you consider the possibilities, think about the probability that each possible future will occur. Dont simply cling to the outcome youre hoping for. Be objective. If the odds of success seem reasonable, then pursue your desired course of action. But if they dont, then pull the plug. Duke writes: In most of our decisions, we are not betting against another person. Rather, we are betting against all the future versions of ourselves that we are not choosing. We are constantly deciding among alternative futures: one where we go to the movies, one where we go bowling, one where we stay home. Or futures where we take a job in Des Moines, stay at our current job, or take some time away from work. Whenever we make a choice, we are betting on a potential future. Every choice carries an opportunity cost. When you choose to save for the future, for instance, youre giving up pleasure in the present. Or, if you choose to spend in the present, youre giving up future financial freedom. Final Thoughts

For a long time, Ive argued that the best books about money are often not about money at all. Thinking in Bets is another example of this. While Duke uses plenty of personal finance examples, the book itself is about self-improvement. Its not a money manual. Yet the info here could have a profound impact on your financial future. Theres a lot more in this book that I havent covered in my review. (Ive really only touched on the first third of the material!) For me, the biggest takeaway comes early: Its vital to separate decision quality from results. The rest of the book explores how to improve the quality of your decisions. Among the strategies Duke advocates are these: Learn to examine your own beliefs. Be your own devils advocate. If youre certain about something, explore the opposing viewpoint. (If youre liberal, seek conservative opinions. If youre conservative, look for liberal voices.) Be skeptical of yourself and others.Build a network of trusted advisors, people who can give you feedback on your beliefs and decisions. But dont make these support groups homogeneous. Draw on people from a variety of backgrounds and belief systems. If you only associate with people who think the same way you do, you never give yourself a chance to grow, and youll never spot possible errors in your thinking. (This is like the current problems Facebook is facing with its deliberately-created echo chambers, which only serve to reinforce the way people think instead of challenging them.)When you make decisions, think of the future. Use barriers and pre-commitment to do the right thing automatically. Practice backcasting, a visualization method in which you define a desired outcome then figure out how you might get there. The book is dense dense! with ideas and information. When I finished it, I wanted to go back and read it again. Plus, I wanted to plow through the nearly 200 other works that Duke lists in her bibliography. I feel like I could spend an entire year diving deeper into this book and its related reading. But, as much as I wish it were, Thinking in Bets isnt perfect. A strong argument could be made that this material would work better as a TED talk or a 5000-word essay in The Atlantic (or on Get Rich Slowly!). The book is so packed with info that it sometimes loses its way. Theres also a lot of repetition too much repetition. Plus, it seems to lack a clear sense of organization. These quibbles aside, Thinking in Bets has earned a permanent place on my bookshelf. If I ever get around to putting together a Get Rich Slowly library (a project Ive been planning for years!), this book will be in it. I got a lot out of it. And I bet you will too. https://www.getrichslowly.org/smarter-decisions/