#and u dont even know if thats true anymore because u dont know where the line between platonic and romantic love is except for intent

[protosstar]

google what does it mean when someone travels 7 hours during a rail strike just to visit u in ur boring village for 4 days

[kuntsandkupcakes]

#ishifted (DAY 1)

so i remember seeing this cute lil "active as if" shifting challenge and i only now decided to do it (becuz why not, this is the TRUTH since my imagination is my true reality)

anywho, onto the challenge (im gonna write about my "teenage dream" dr)

✮✮✮

dear diary, GUESS WHO SHIFTEDDDDDD?!! (me ofc)

anywho, it was like any other night where i did my night routine and got ready for bed and just affirmed "i have shifted, i will shift" yadayadaya and basically didn't rlly stress over it because it was bound to work anyways.

I woke up and the first thing i could see is the fact i shifted to one of my recent drs and my room looked teww cute!! it was a mixture of sanrio characters, y2k, etc and if i could best describe it, it would be something you would see if you typed "gyaru-themed bedroom" on pinterest.

Also, my room smelt like lavender (which is a classic signature scent i script for pratically all my DRs rooms) and yea, after pratically a whole hour of sobbing and getting emotional over shifting for the first time, i decided to head out to grab myself some brunch.

LEMME TELL YALL, life feels like a breath of fresh air when you don't have strict parents telling u that u can't go here and there. In my dr, my parents are rlly lenient and just let me do whatevs and all i gotta do it text em to let em know that i'm doing alright.

After grabbing some brunch, i went to do some shopping and guess the btch who don't gotta check the price tags anymore because she scripted herself some UNLIMITED FUNDZZZ 🤭 it feels so good knowing that i can grab whatever clothes i wanted and i didn't even have to worry about checking my debit card afterwards because i would still have sm funds.

timeskip to later that evening, i came home at around 9-10ish?? (again, the perks of having lenient parents in ur dr is that u aint gotta worry bout coming home too late because ur parents dont really GAF 🤣🤣) and like as i was walking down my road, guess who i bumped into?? my neighbour.

okay b4 yall come at me with questions talking bout "why u aint like ur neighbour for" HOLD AWNN TO UR TOPHATS!! basically, ur girl always craved an enemies to lovers typa relationship so i basically scripted our first interaction with each other basically left us disliking each other. anywho (i say this sm) back 2 le storytime 🏃🏾💨

i walk past him and give him the dirtiest look known to man, my goodness becuz ion like him (for now, muahahaha 😏) but yh, i carried on walking home and pratically chilled there and had a family game night with da famalam.

After that, i set an intention to shift back here & thats basically it 😭😭 hope u all enjoyed that whimisical shifting storytime <3

[natsmagi]

my thoughts on the new event by the way If u even care

text ID below

"hi is this where i go for when i need to let my insane ramblings out of my system. Well anyway im starting to think the point of the lost ballade shuffle is moreso these characters exorcising their past traumas. i dont know alot about yuzuru or niki so i cant really speak on them but for tsumugi rei and madara itd make sense since the lyrics of the song seems to imply that They are the lost children. they are the lost children who have endured all this hardships. rei, tsumugi, madara and yuzuru had rather abusive and dehumanizing upbringings (again idk niki lore</3). theyre lost children robbed off their lives. i wonder if their scenes when the spirits came loose showcases how they coped about it in a way too? like mama is seen interacting with many of the members, which is fitting considering his whole deal being related to "having connections," since his family followed the shinkai cult and made the wishes come true. tsumugi seems alot more lonely, carrying his weight by himself to the point where it seems his body is beginning to give out. which is consistent with tsumugis character and how he often self-sacrifices and doesnt let others in much. rei seems alot more grand, focusing on the bigger picture and not himself, analyzing the situation to better know how to approach. such as him looking at the tomb thing with a more calculative gaze, and then giving that same look to the radio tower, implying that maybe thats whats been causing all of this. this is also consistent with reis character in how hes viewed by many as a savior. a prodigy that can fix everyones struggles, without stopping to view rei as his own individual the song itself feels very much like. People who are clinging to bad habits. wandering around aimlessly because with how they were raised this is all they know. never telling anyone of their hardships. never letting anyone in. completely isolating themselves, because the people who were meant to raise them never taught them how to live, so all they know is "watching over the world" and then in the end they exorcised themselves of their pasts, not letting that define them anymore. u can see it esp w tsumugi in how, minus the hush towards the camera, he never once smiled during the mv until the purified spirits were floating around him like hes finally at peace im so normal about this i swear"

[mikalame]

hi, I was wondering if you could write some Bill x reader angst please, where Bill gets jealous bc of the reader's "fan service" towards fanboys ( for example she flirts with them (as a joke ofc), winks at them on stage...) and one day they just have a big fight bc of that, also the reader is a girl and a member of the band. Bye ;)

This is My first angst, i dont think ill make a Pt2 to this as i kinda like were i finished it tell me what you think about it mabey ill do more angst who knows 🤫

Bills a little toxic in this, but they arent really good for eachother, just pretend the band wont break up or anything ahaha.

taglist@oppopotamus@adissonsss@violentnewmarley@saumspam

"Did you really have to wink at them again" Bill scoffs as he chucks his bag down on the floor walking into the hotel room.

You guys were bombarded when you got off the plane, which is to be expected as a rock star with a world wide fan base, having fans in every country in itself is good but not when your fans are a bit touchy and you have a bit of a playful personality.....expectantly when your boyfriend is a tad bit of a jealous person.

"Really Bill we just got here and you're already picking a fight, can't we just relax after a 13 hour flight, huh?" you question, getting sick of bills arguments you try and assure him that hes all you need but he cant seem to get it in his head, making you feel like your practically cheating on him when you arent your just being friendly, at least in your mind you are.

"Well you seem pretty energetic when that guy came up and hugged you, real tight" Bill looked away, his eyebrows pinched thinking over the airport insident.

"Bill really, i was JUST hugging him like i dont everybody, he wasnt special hes just a fan, a NICE fan who asked for a hug" You retort rolling your eyes, shoving your suit case under the bed not bothering to pack it away yet.

"Whats wrong Bill, huh, you seem so uptight about this whole thing, do you still think im gonna leave you, Bill, im YOUR girlfriend not anybody else and you may think that i would but i wont and i never will" You argue, completely over Bill and his jealousy.

"No because i know you would all the flirting you do when fans come up to you in party's you grab their arms and laugh at all their jokes, their not even funny half the time but you still laugh like its the funniest thing in the world, you BARELY EVER laugh at my jokes huh, am i not funny or something"

Bill continues to rant letting all of it off his chest, you felt your anger rise getting annoyed that bills painting you as some sort of villain that would cheat on him any chance she got.

"Yeah Bill i laught at their jokes because its NICE-"

"So is it a chore or something to laugh at my jokes" He cuts you off rolling his eyes walking over to the couch sitting down with a huff.

"No Bill and you know thats not true, its different, we're their IDOLS they look up to us, we're CELERITYS, im gonna laugh at whatever stupid joke they make to make THEM happy, to make THEM feel great that they made THEIR IDOL smile and laugh, its not that i dont find you funny bill because u dont your a funny person its just i dont see you or anyone in the band as a celebrity i just see you guys as normal people-".

"Oh so im not even named your boyfriend anymore im just a 'normal person' that babe feel REAL nice right now" He scoffs again flicking through the channels on the t.v.

"OMG BILL YOUR BEING SO DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW" you yell, frustrated about how hes acting right now, he does this all the time bringing this argument up again then leaving the argument when you starts to become frustrated.

"I cant do this bill" You sigh slumping down onto the hotel bed, Bill looks over raising his eyebrow he had never heard you give up in an argument your always fighting to prove that your right.

but as both of your emotions are high right now one of you are bound to say something your gonna regret, just like bill did.

"Oh yeah what to much for you?, you just gonna give up on this realtionship, not even gonna try and fix it, just gonna up and leave" he scoffs standing up, looking at you down his nose not thinking your actully going to do what he thought you would.....

but you did

"Bill were not good for each other, your to jealous and cant handle that im maybe am a bit to sweet to our fans but i cant help it a-and i know you cant handle it either, s-so i think this is where this relationship should end- this is for the best for both of us i think... and for the band you know" you say shakily standing up walking slowly to your bed that has the suitcase under it.

"W-wait baby y-your joking right, i didn't mean it, i'll get over it I SWEAR" he begs tears flowing down his cheeks his eyeliner and mascara running with the tears.

"No Bill you wont, this relationship wont work, it's toxic for me and you, this- this is for the best i think" You say sighing as you pull your bag up opening the handle up and holding onto it.

You listen to bill sobs as he tries to bargen with you, to make you stay, his promises of how he wont be jealous and he'll do better, words that fell on deaf ears as you have already made up your mind, knowing even in your mind blurry with emotions that this would be the best for both Bill and You.

[remcycl333]

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your indepth post today on how to fulfill ourselves. I really admire you and the “states girlies” a lot because you guys really know your stuff!

I have a bit of a scenario that i’ve been “stuck” in and in my own head about, if you have time i would really appreciate some advice.

So i’ve been “manifesting” my sp for a little over 2 years now using law of assumption, but in reality i’ve only TRULY been manifesting him using states for the last 8 months. I have a really good understanding of states thanks to you and twitter pages, edward art and neville. I promise I don’t focus on time (until recently when i was making plans for my future which i always assumed my sp would be here for) and I never intended that manifesting takes a long time. I’ve experienced many quick manifestations and I know sp is no different but im not sure where im going wrong. I always catch myself when im out of the state and redirect myself back and have been doing this daily for the last 8 months. I do feel fulfilled in my mind with him since I no longer have a “longing” for him nor do I expect him to take any action in the 3D because thats not my true world. I dont even feel bad/sad when “opposite” things seem to happen (such as him unfollowing me out of the blue) and I give stuff like that NO meaning because it GENUINELY doesn’t affect me since I know in imagination im happily married. I know you’ll tell me that im not truly fulfilled if the 3D is making me feel some type of way, but Im not sure how else to explain that I don’t know why not even the tiny bit of movement has happened (I dont want movement, I want my whole desire, just trying to say how in my physical senses there has been nothing experienced).

I keep up with your posts weekly and I know you’ll tell me that if im noticing the absence im not in the state, that im dominantly still in lack, etc but I truly felt like I was fulfilled. I never check the 3D, I never even have “opposing” thoughts (since thoughts are an indicator of my state) so I thought for months that everything is fine. Even now I am prioritizing my state because I know that by writing this, I am being in an unfulfilled state, but im not sure what else to do. After a while it gets a little weird noticing it hasn’t reflected even though im fulfilled within. Am I doing anything wrong? I dont have a strong desire for my sp anymore because I worked a lot on myself and no longer need him, but I do wish to be with him still.

Thank you rem.

hi love! so im not in your brain, so i don't know every little thing you think/do throughout the day, so im gonna give u some examples of things i was accidentally doing whenever i was manifesting an sp that was keeping my 3d from reflecting, even tho i was sure i was 100% fulfilled. maybe you'll realize you're doing something similar and be able to stop it?

i'd prepare myself for what i'd say to my sp when he finally reached out, or i'd daydream about yelling at him when he did bc i knew before we got back together we'd have to talk about our past issues. this was contradicting the fact that i was manifesting already being in a relationship with my sp. why would i be identifying with those thoughts when i was already with my sp?

i like to daydream in order to fulfill myself, but sometimes i'd stop paying attention and accidentally slip into a state of longing without even realizing it. like i'd be daydreaming about something bc i desperately wanted to experience it in my reality, not because i was experiencing it in my 4D, if that makes sense. what i like to do to combat that is while im daydreaming i just like to tell myself that im re-living a memory and that im so happy this thing already happened/is happening. it helps me think from my desire instead of thinking of it!

my friends have shared that one of their mistakes while manifesting an sp was still wanting their sp to be missing them/obsessed with them/constantly thinking about how badly they wanted to be with them, daydreaming about scenarios of them being jealous, etc. this was making them identify with separation, when they really wanted to identify as their sp's partner.

similarly, an issue i had was focusing way too much on how my sp was feeling about me, instead of focusing on how i was feeling about them. when i'd daydream or imagine, i'd imagine them loving ME or confessing their feelings to ME, but then i realized that how i feel matters more than how they feel, because this is my reality! so instead i'd focus on how much i loved them and how amazing i felt being loved by them. that's why, as i mentioned in my most recent post, i changed from affirming "my sp loves me" to "i love my sp."

while manifesting my sp, i knew the first step of us getting back together would be him texting me, so every time i picked up my phone and i saw he hadn't texted me yet id feel sooo discouraged. what helped me with this was telling myself things like "ofc my sp didn't text me, he's literally in the same room as me why would he text me lol?" this would help me feel like we were already together!

i was still PISSED at my sp. idk what your story is with your sp, but mine was an ex, and i was mad at him for breaking up with me still. i had to forgive him because i was constantly holding onto that anger and fantasizing about yelling at him over it. this one might not apply to u depending on your relationship with your sp idk!

similarly, i'd find myself getting mad at my sp for not "conforming" to my affs? even tho he didn't even know i wanted him back? so once again i focused on feeling positively towards my sp and imagining how much i loved him. once i started focusing on the version of my sp that was such a good and loving and attentive boyfriend, he started showing up that way in my reality. remember, there is NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF! focus on changing how YOU feel about your sp instead of how he feels about you!

i know you say that you never feel negatively about your sp or your situation, but as i've mentioned in other posts, sometimes the feeling of knowing feels like nothing. so while you're noticing nothing is happening in your 3D, you can still be accepting the fact that nothing is happening without it giving you any negative emotions.

my advice would be to implement the distraction technique. this is what helped me finally manifest my sp. i had a favorite person attachment to my sp (bc of my bpd) so i was thinking of him ALL day long, and sometimes i wouldn't be paying enough attention to know if i was thinking of him from the state of the wish fulfilled, or from the state of lack. so instead, every time i thought of him at all (negatively or positively) i'd say "it is done" (which instantly shifted me into the state of the wish fulfilled) and then force myself to think of something else. so many of my followers have had success with this technique! this technique isn't necessary at all (you're 100% allowed to think of your sp) but i found it rlly helpful for my adhd brain. it can also be really helpful for you if you can't pinpoint what you're doing wrong!

i really hope this post was helpful to you!! <3 let me know if anything helped!

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Roll for Persuasion

I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!

CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop

<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>

Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.

Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o

Angel: i learned smthn togay

Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.

Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in

Angel: ...

Angel: n e wayz

Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof

Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do

Baabe: howd you find out?

Angel: i spilled water in it

Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH

Angel: mm doesnt hit the same

Baabe: no it really doesnt.

Sweetheart: Youre fucked

Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite

Sam: Put it in the dryer?

Angel: ...

Angel: oh

Baabe: i just banged my ankle.

Angel: oh my god why did u do that

Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE

Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle

Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?

Angel: must be the lack of oxygen

Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people

Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.

Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.

Angel: you were comin and goin

Angel: kum and go

Angel: ejaculate and evacuate

Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.

Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me

Baabe: i want proof.

Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: daveys

Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.

Sam: Lirc?

Sweetheart: If I remember correctly

Sam: What's that?

Baabe: acronym for iirc.

Sam: What's iirc?

Angel: if i remember correctly

Sam: Remember what?

Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life

Sam: Why?

Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter

Sweetheart: Just lying there

Sam: Oh dear?

Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT

Angel: were in your walls

Baabe: feed us the cheese

Baabe: we crave it

Angel: c h e e s e

Angel: what uni did yall go to

Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life

Sweetheart: DAMN

Sam: Same as Sweetheart.

Sam: What about you, Angel?

Angel: i went to ugh

Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.

Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Angel: university of giving head

Sam: Goodbye.

Angel: CATSUP BLAST

Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism

Baabe: CATSUP BLAST

Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?

Angel:

Baabe:

Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff

Baabe: not surprised.

Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?

Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ

Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination

Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.

Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you

Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.

Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down

Sam: What is Homestuck?

Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh

Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen

Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??

Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.

Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy

Angel: *bugatti

Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.

Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.

Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE

Sam: I'm done.

[astroyongie]

i honestly feel like i was born in the wrong era. either im too old for something or someone or im past the point of being able to achieve something. then when looking at how all these kpop groups are so young yet successful and talented just makes me question why i didnt do something like that.

we didnt have kpop in my school time but why couldnt i have just picked something and stuck with it? on top of it i believe im never going to fit anyones ideal type so whats the point in existing cause no one gonna truly get to know me.

unless i can somehow pass away before im 50 then i dont have to continue to think about all this shit and how i shouldve done better or i shouldve picked such and such a career and i shouldve tried to put myself out there more but in my age theres really nothing out there to seek when its all handed to younger generations.

and i would want to have my own success based on my own effort but have fallen short in so many ways its impossible to not find something i could do about it bc im too far behind and it does get to a point where you think that it is too late bc in order to gain any talent you have to have done it from a young age.

i dont want to rely on someone else to do it for me but i couldnt do it myself due to personal situations. yet i feel like thats an excuse cause once again all these young idols seem to be ro have something about them that makes their life a success. like yes the end inudstry is far from perfect but thats what people have been seeking themselves so it cant all be that bad all the time for them if these groups including older age groups have went out got success and even they get all the benefits of the super rich lifestyle but at the same time money doesnt bring true happiness and it seems a very shallow way they live sometimes, they have a supply and demand contract with their audiences and rely so much on social media which although i use it im not attached to it and i cant relate to obsessing over latest dance trend. i also want to stop the woe is me narrative but its really fucking hard to not feel so ashamed, behind or negative about things.

the most advice people gove is bog standard like if ur bored, go out more but its hard not to feel left out, if ur loney go find someone, if u dont have an income go get a job its literally never that simple. even in education you still have to pay for it as an adult meaning you have to already have a job but even then theres still means of you getting misjudged for your age and classmates have already done that to me before it wasnt that fun. its like saying to someone depressed to go take medicine to take away the feeling.

idk what im doing anymore besides waiting to randomly pass away so i can be done with this shite. sorry for ranting so much but idk who else to speak too bc no one else never seems to understand my frustrations with the way things have panned out.

Comparing yourself to others people archievement is the worst thing you can do. because we are all different, we all go through different shits (just like you rightfully said) and not all of us have the same opportunities presented. beating yourself up for that is a cruel thing to do wishing yourself.

It does also seem like you struggle a lot with self worth, self love and that is probably because never once someone complimented you for the things that you have achieve (to this point were you believe you havent achieved anything).

Love, hatred that you carry is a motivator, and you need to accept one thing. as long as you are breathing nothing is to late to archive, as long as you are here you should be kinder to yourself. because why are you comparing yourself to idols? I often say this here but when was it the last time you appreciated life? when was the last time you went out, stared at the ocean, at the night sky, breathed into a forest, when was the last time you felt a sense of peace? seek that out. dwelling on what we could have been is cruel hun, and not helping you in any kind <3

its okay to rant, dont worry, I hope I dont sound to harsh either, its just that I pains me seeing you guys going through so much suffering when I promise you all, darkness cannot live without light. just find your way back to it, often you dont need a big reason. sometimes the most tiny thing can be a source of happiness, seek yours !

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[kylejsugarman]

happy birthday to the babyest baby that every babyed!! how do they celebrate baby’s first birthday together as a family? how does present-day baby feel about being 20? how does au squared fam celebrate baby’s third birthday once theyre disappeared to alaska? how does present-day au squared baby feel about being 16?

anon hitting ALL of the possible universes and scenarios in one question like beating me with clubs and sticks 😭 thank u for the questions and saving me from having to write an annoying, unprovoked post!! ill try to keep these brief so im not putting a gd novelization on everyone's dashes

their first birthday as a "family" is baby's seventh, where jesse's only known demi for like 5 months and doesnt know what the rules are for something like this, but hes saved from any awkward questions by demi calling him like (royal advisor going door to door to every person in the kingdom to invite them to the ball) "baby would like to see u if then if that's ok." of course its ok, but now he's gotta get her a present!! hes still getting the hang of carving and woodworking in a more professional, advanced sense and decides to practice his new skills by carving her a little dolphin that looks like the stuffed one she's always carrying around. theres no birthday party like the kind he remembers from childhood ("baby's not very. Into that kind of thing," demi says charitably later when he asks her about it. which Is true), just him and demi and mason having dinner at ihop before going back home for some gifts and a "the spongebob movie" viewing party. baby doesnt make much of a fuss but shes Very excited to open her presents and when she opens jesse's gift, she gets more excited and animated than hes ever seen her before as she describes each of the dolphin's fins to him and then (following a gentle "what do u say?" from demi) thanks him with a little hug of his arm. because of her joyful reaction, he carves her a sea creature for every birthday going forward and is now giving her a tiny wood barracuda for her collection as he and demi make the long drive up to fairbanks to visit baby at school for her twentieth birthday!! they're going to spend the weekend with her :) and though they dont say anything significant about it, they're both really happy that when they go back to their hotel this evening, baby is going to be spending time with some of her new college friends to celebrate :') shes kind of ambivalent as always about "turning" twenty and still doesnt really feel like an adult or anything close, but she does feel more comfortable and content about moving forward this birthday more so than any other beforehand. twenty feels like a big number and shes not as scared or lonely or anxious as she thought she'd be

god, au squared fam.....Au Squared Fam. this is literally the first time jesse's able to actually physically be there with baby on her birthday other than like. the Day of her birth. after missing the first two due to rehab and Being A Slave. he almost doesnt know what to do because its really just the three of them, they've made some tentative acquaintances here in alaska since arriving, but neither of them have families anymore and baby's fully three and thus doesnt Know anyone, so its almost like. what do u do?? he rarely lets baby out of his sight anyway, how's her birthday going to be any different?? demi convinces him to throw a little party in their kitchen to at least set the Tone and even though its just some streamers and balloons and a little grocery store bakery cake with some questionably accurate sesame street characters piped onto it, it really does make the occasion feel festive. they both feel like things might be ok :) baby doesnt really comprehend the Significance and freaks the fuck out when they light the "3" shaped candle (thats fire!! in the house!!), but she has a good time and is stoked to see elmo on a cake and plays "bap the air-filled balloon around the living room" with her parents for a solid 2 hours. its all so beautifully mundane, so normal and safe and quiet. jesse knows that baby doesnt really understand what birthdays mean and that he wasnt there for her first two (only that he Wasnt There in general for a while), but he can't help feeling periodically guilty and overwhelmed and just holding onto her so nothing can ever separate them again. and present day au squared baby is having a sweet sixteen!! just a tiny one (and no car, the dyspraxia still reigns in this universe) in their backyard, which is decorated, and baby and her friends are all dressed up so they can take fun pictures. demi sets out tons of flowers and jesse gets a baby shower cake that says "congratulations on the baby!" for the Bit, which baby honestly loves. she knows why hes so All In about her birthday and being a good dad in general, so she takes a second to tell him that she loves him and always will no matter what :')

[devilbombers]

Hhhhiiiiii!!! This is the same anon from the yuri ask!!! 1st thank u soo much for answering my question 💕 & 2nd PLS DO GO OFF about how u feel negatively towards yuri PLSSSSSS!!! *clutches on to your shoulders like a mad man* it's not that I don't want to feel bored with yuri I genuinely WISH I could find a good yuri series but it's sooo hard & at some point u do get kind of tired of digging through all the other garbage yuri series that's out there & when u do find a good yuri series it's either some obscure yuri series that nobody's ever heard of that came out in the 90s/00s or the series got canceled due to poor sales/the publishing company just didn't give a fuck about it in the 1st place. Which is y it ALWAYS grinds my gears when I c ppl b like "would u himejoshis stop bitching because your yuri series aren't as popular as the BL/yaoi genre, y don't u just make your own yuri series/write your own yuri fanfics 🙄" like BRUH WHAT DO U THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?!?!? Sorry I actually have standards for the media I consume & not consume the same uke & seme toxic yaoi skinny twink series for the 500 millionth time in a row

I could cry over how much i understand you. (you are right and you should say that abt bl) this world is too cruel. Real Himejoshis like us need to stick together 🤝 i can send you all 5 series i can think of thats actually good if youd like.

tyvm for indulging my manic frusturations. This is certainly gonna be a long post saurrrr ill have to put it under a read more lmao. You asked for it so the gloves are completely off with this one and i thought abt it again and i actually dont care if anyone thinks im wrong.

I've come to the sad realization yuri can only REALLY be categorized like the following:

#1: yuri that is boring

unfortunately the usual case with 90% of yuri especially with new series

usually plays upon overused tropes making everything abt it lack any uniqueness to it

it is such an epidemic its forced himejoshis to become resigned to accepting these things into their hearts and even pretending its the shit when really its just shit 😭

its hard to give examples bc this makes up almost all yuri i can think of

#2: Non-Existent yuri

A series with really gay girls but they dont ever explicitly say theyre in love.

ex. dungeon meshi

Most himejoshis will on in the hill of saying they love subtext but we all know and especially themselves know that isnt true

#3: Yuri that is unserious as fuck

Theres a lot of drama yuri out there but it is always so fucking unserious it just ends up being funny as fuck instead

ex. Onii-Sama E and my girlfriend isnt here today

quite often this type is also associated with erotic media. But theyre so goddamn unserious it dosent matter how sexy either of them are, it immediately makes them so unsexy the minute they start talking.

i would only say ive succumbed to believe i love this genre bc i love to laugh at it sm

#4: Yuri where one or sometimes BOTH of them are dead 💀

i literally dont care i hate the "bury your gays" trope so much. it just aggravates the shit out of me bc what is even the point anymore then

great example of this is Alien stage

personally i feel like the only yuri that can exist like this and is actually genuinely good is obviously PMMM (i will fight everyone on the planet over this IDC)

#5: side character yuri

sort of a popular trend. kind of goes hand in hand with non-existent yuri but personally i think they count as different entities sometimes

extremely minor plot points or concurrent small interactions between side characters thats kind of gay as shit

theyre either EXTREMELY GAY or just a little gay theres no inbetween (either way, people will lie one way or another to say its really good)

despite the fact this yuri is quite ephemeral or absolutely nothing some ppl will still call this media wholly yuri for whatever maniacal reason

#6: YURI THATS TOO FUCKING SHORT

Unfortunately the best type of yuri also happens to be too goddamn short (usually limited to oneshots, anthologies, manga series no more than 25 chapters)

All my favorite yuri happens to be like this and i always scream at god for making life like this

If i hate anything in this world its liars, so i probably hate other himejoshis very much bc i keep constantly reading suggestions people hype up on the internet and ultimately being disappointed every single time because its never as good or unique as anyone says.

Its easy to say i hate them but its probably pity. I pity my fellow man that i consistently watch them fall for yuri underneath a wooden box held up with a stick and rope.

With all this being realized; its hard to ignore the truth of it all when trying to get into yuri regardless of it. So ive finally decided to stop listening to literally anyone anymore and ive ultimately stopped seeking it out bc im tired lmao

[fruitpunchjollyrancher]

my shitty treatise on "ants from up there" and gale dekarios

this is the gale album of all time. and i WILL elaborate. (also warning im only posting this because i have been obsessed with this fucking album and gale for a WEEK and need it out of my brain. im probably not going to explain too many lyrics and i get nervous expressing my ideas because tbf to me it seems quite obvious but ofc i can explain, assuming anybody reads this post)

"Concorde" immediately stood out to me like oh this is so gale. i dont even think i need to explain how gale this is. the rest of the song is super gale too, i just don't want to include screenshots of the entire song

"Bread Song" has a LOT of worship imagery and also below alluding to appearing fine but rlly inside he is not well <3

oh my god. "Good Will Hunting". the mentorship but also wanting her to depend on him a little but it's unfeasible, weaving a whole life in his head that can never be because mystra will never see him as an equal... also the pre-chorus 👍 i am so well

"Haldern"... i literally dont know how to explain my feelings about this song in relation to gale pls someone tell me u see the vision

"The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" is more headcanon/my interpretation but im just gonna focus on the parts that i think everyone can agree on. first 2 lines arent super applicable to mystra but ig i can rationalize it as her being detached from the world/not rlly participating (i.e. why didnt mystra just stop the absolute herself (im aware its because ao doesn't like it when they meddle, im smoking that true forgotten realms pack trust me)). but the MAIN part of this song that is so gale to me is the vines breaking bones, bones heal, our school friends sign our cast on the playground, my body is yours. like holy shit being a chosen of mystra is a huge fucking deal and despite the pain it can cause (that he doesnt even notice because "tied me up slow with your vine stuff / it takes a few years") but it's definitely encouraged among wizards/mages in any circles he was in and by elminster ("we tell all our school friends / and they sign our cast in the playground"), then of course the last line breaks my heart. rest of the song is also rlly fucking good please listen to this album.

"Snow Globes" has more religious imagery but tbh i dont know precisely how i feel about it in relation to gale so im just gonna skip it

"Basketball Shoes" shows a more hopeful future but still #suffering because thats just how it is. concorde being mystra/his relationship to her tears his life to shreds, defines his life, leaving him with nothing. keeps seeing her everywhere (wizard stuff, his damn earring, he's always saying "by mystra" like bro you're intersecting at the market town on purpose atp (i get it)). i interpret the part after that line break (idk why genius doesnt just say its a different verse, don't quote me on this idk anything about music theory) as post-game where he's still Not Great but it's better and moving on, there is a future. doesn't look to mystra anymore (throughout album especially in good will hunting and bread song the s/o is mentioned through headphones, wifi passwords, phone calls, so "never look at our phones anymore" means he isn't thinking of her anymore or trying to curry her favor).

alsoooo should mention that i didn't include the part of "The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" that mentions a lunch metaphor in relation to panic attacks and possible cheating so the "feelin kinda normal with a packed lunch" is doubly meaningful, he isn't freaking out while making lunch anymore

this verse is tav (or whoever u romance as gale origin idgaf)/gale as he is trying to find a new object of devotion in his romance. "the clamp" could be many things, from reminders of mystra to all his perceived inadequacies to lost opportunity to become a god w/ the crown of karsus.

third section of the song im kind of undecided on w/ gale like we got the religious imagery again, could interpret "generous loan/crippling interest" as mystra's deal for him to return the crown of karsus in exchange for no orb. but yea idk yet

and that is the entire album (- chaos space marine, i didn't really think of anything related to gale when listening to it but it's still a great song, PLEASE listen to this album). so yeah if im horribly wrong on any of my takes be sure to send me hatemail k thanks bye

[lord-leclerc]

Hi thanks for answering :)

I agree on all your points on Carlando especially the last one (I had forgotten about that one) and it's just amazing I can't describe how I feel about them... The fact that they talk a lot in private is so cool. If you think back to Miami where they went on a golf weekend together with Zak. Like they must be conversing so much and and I don't know of any other drivers pairing which is so close like Carlando. Or like in Melbourne they arrived early so they could spend to whole days together. :) They're not even from the same team. But I guess there's no rule for them to not hangout with eachother so they do it bc they can. That's so wholesome! Also the moment when Carlos listed all the teammates he had had and forgot Lando and said Charles first. And then Charles noticed and pointed it out to him. I think they don't even realise they're work-buddies anymore but actually just see eachother as friends who meet up every weekend. They seem so close and I imagine Lando will be invited to Carlos' and Isa's wedding (if it happens - hopefully).

They mean everything to me! <3

About Lestappen: Absolutely! I adore their history with eachother. It may be a rivalry but the respect between them makes it beautiful. It's so different from Brocedes where they went from bff's to haters to "yeah we can talk again but we're not friends". It's childhood enemies to "yeah we can talk but we're not friends" to work-buddies (or friends? but they still don't follow eachother on insta...). I love how everyone calls them emotional support rivals. Like that's literally the perfect term for them. What do you think about them being rbr teammates? Do you think it would work out well for Charles? In terms of racing. And what do you think would it do to their friendship?

don't apologies I'm happy to hear your opinion! 😊

exactly, in f1 even teammates don't spend time together outside of work usually but carlando always finding a way to spend time in any way possible-like playing golf in augusta or u said Melbourne, it's very brotherly. however I dont think we would be seeing lando or anyone for that matter in carlos and isa's wedding. they've broken up bestie😭

as for lestappen, so true. i think even seb and lewis had their disrespect moments where they were enemies at some point but with lestappen its quite respectful. for example, when charles crashed in miami and ruined max's only chance of flying lap, max just sighed on the team radio and later during the media pen he said it could've happened to anyone and that he was prone to errors too in that area. could you imagine if it were anyone else? there'd be a rainbow of words coming out of him right there and then and he could very well hold charles accountable for that incident, but he didn't. and again thats something u don't get to see a lot. like come on, even your own teammates blame you but coming this from a rival must've meant a lot.

as for rbr teammates,I think it would be a disaster for the team . ofc both of them would get equal machinery and opportunity and there would be cut throat competition, which can be good for racing but that may lead to unhealthy rivalry if you know what i mean. it would even affect their friendship in an adverse manner ofc. so i think them being in different teams is a better option because neither of them would back out and it could prove to be bad for the team.

[khaleesiofalicante]

oh my god Dani, I cant believe you made a ppt for me, thats so Magnus/Anjali? of you, I love it..

Thankyou so so so much for this, this is literally the best thing anyone has ever done for me. I think I personally always thought it was impossible to be in an unhealthy relationship with someone you love...like if you are in an unhealthy relationship with someone, you just don't love them anymore. Because in the media, its like this-

1.) Unhealthy(or sometimes abusive) couple?- turns out they never loved each other as in they were not the love of each others lives and both the partners end up drifting apart for good and finally finding their soulmates. 2.) Super healthy couple- and once they find these soulmates, nothing goes wrong cuz the story ends at the credits

We rarely ever see the "it" couple, the soulmates drifting in that unhealthy/borderline abusive phase and then make it back because well..true love never dies right?

This was definitely a lot to take in and im definitely writing this just to make things clearer for my brain (I understand better when I write?)

So relationships can drift to a part where they become unhealthy or borderline abusive, but you can make it back also right? and ig if u do want to make it back to that healthy phase, it means you love the person? that they r different from the previous ones for whom you just didnt want to make that effort. Thats scary to know, that problems dont end once you fall in love in the right person, that the right person may turn into a wrong person for you, that even after that you might still want them....I will always, always, always be grateful to your stories Dani.

Here's a fact: Statistically you are more likely to be abused or assaulted by your partner than a stranger.

So, of course, it's very much possible to be in an unhealthy (or even abusive) relationship with your partner. But you are right, the depictions in media are very one-dimensional and miss a lot of nuances!

Your assessment is correct, but remember that it's not the case for everyone! Some people go back to abusive partners because of a lot of other reasons including economic dependency or simply because they don't know how to be alone.

Not everyone can transform from an unhealthy relationship into a healthy one.

I'd like to think that all relationships have healthy and unhealthy habits - ALL of them. Whether the relationship itself is healthy or unhealthy is determined by how willing the partners are to communicate, compromise and commit to make the relationship work (i love me some alliteration oof)

Thank you for the love and sorry it took me a while to get to this! Crazy week, oof.

[phoenixfangs]

okay so the hate on photorealism in video games is kinda goofy to me ngl. like, its fine to have a preference for stylized visuals (i definitely do!), but a game is not Better for it just on the face of it

and like, as a webbed site of creatives, are NONE of u interested in the mechanics of developing a photorealistic experience?? like the process of looking at something in real life and recreating it through art as closely to real life as possible isnt fascinating?? motion capture is sick as hell, especially because its not 2011 anymore and we dont have quantic dream/heavy rain as like the Peak of what mocap is capable of. supermassive i think does a good job with their realism. until dawn has some goofiness with how big the expressions needed to be for the mocap to work, and there are parts where u can Tell it was animated manually, poorly (joshs mental break in the mines... there are parts that are kinda oof), but otherwise overall it still looks pretty damn good to me! and brenda song in the quarry is like, there are moments where i feel like i am actually looking at the real life brenda song (particularly when shes in the car at the junkyard and screaming for dylan to get the damn werewolf off the car, that moment in specific looks Incredible to me)

and thats just people. developing accurate to real life physics/visuals for objects and like grass and water and stuff, does it not enchant yall to know that somebody, a team, whatever, had to meticulously plan that and build it? and even if its not absolutely indistinguishable from real life, isnt it cool how good it Does look? i feel like people say shit like 'its a video game i know what im looking at isnt real, why do they even try' and its like Fucking Duh, we all know that, the devs know that, but they do it because its COOL. and also sometimes maybe it fits the tone of the story or the play experience Better than stylization, idk

im not trying to say that stylization is less work than photorealism, but i also dont think the opposite is true, either. i dont think photorealism is less work than stylization. it ALL depends on manpower from artists that are passionate about their craft.

and again, as a webbed site of artists, i find it strange to bash photorealism and say its worse than stylization at all. like would any of u say half the shit u say about photorealistic games to a painter that works with photorealism? i dont think u would, because u understand that a painter is still responsible. a human artist created that. to me its the same with photorealistic games, people still have to design and model and code and animate all dat shit, and it has just as much opportunity to be impressive and impactful as a stylized game does

[viktoriakomova]

I saw your tag about true crime fans on Reddit and I just wanted to know if you have any #thoughts about the Bryan Johberger case? Personally I’m not convinced of his guilt or innocence either way but it is disturbing how redditors demonize the defense team for doing their job and want to just send him to the firing squad asap (sorry this is non gymnastics related feel free to ignore lmao)

oh girl im so glad u asked me this lmfao

i think hes most likely guilty but it really disturbs me how the peanut gallery thinks throwing constitutional rights to the wind is fine just because theyre really emotionally attached to the case

ive gotten in several Fights in the comments with people on that case's subreddit to the point where i just lurk and downvote and dont engage anymore 🤡 like people are really sincerely convinced that they have a 0% chance of being accused of a crime they didn't commit and the State would never come down on them with all its might for unjustified reasons. lmao and lol.

like people suggesting that him waiving his right to a speedy trial is "retraumatizing" the victims' families because it will be dragged out longer and he CLEARLY did it so he's doing all this on purpose because he LOVES THE ATTENTION (that comes hand in hand with him literally staying in jail in the meantime but nope he just loves media scrutiny he's an attention whore!). meanwhile his lawyers NOT doing that, given all the evidence they have to plow through and the fact that its a CAPITAL MURDER CASE, would be a goddamn cupcake of an ineffective assistance appeal. but they dont know that because they learned everything they know about the legal system from law and order svu, and they dont understand that if this trial is bungled he'll walk away scot free! and they probably think double jeopardy is a moral outrage too lmao

and then there was a whole Thing about the issue of whether the trial would be broadcasted/streamed, and/or whether video recordings would be allowed. and people were like "transparency !!!! free press!!!!!" girl please be serious this isnt about free press (there are press passes for all major trials like this, btw) and you know it, this is about YOU consuming it as entertainment, integrity of the criminal justice system be damned.

same goes for stuff i saw from people during the kristin smart trial. like its literally written in black and white in the fifth amendment to the constitution that you have a right not to testify against yourself and people on twitter were still like "WHY CANT THEY FORCE HIM TO TAKE THE STAND!" and then once he was sentenced to "25 years to life" people were like "THATS WAY TOO LENIENT" bruh firstly thats the legal maximum and secondly he's realistically never seeing the light of day ever again lmao. if you dont understand what things mean just dont say anything!

the intersection of bloodthirst and self righteousness is crazy lmao. it dovetails quite nicely with gymtwt and the gymnastics subreddit in fact, like a lot of the rhetoric during the nassar sentencing (he literally did not have a trial i cannot stress that enough, he pleaded guilty) was deeply disturbing to me even though i also obviously believe he's terrible and should spend the rest of his life behind bars.

[urcharactersclasspect]

I’ve also tried classpecting the archons but I’m not great at classpecting lol

Barbatos: heir of breath because he is literally reskinned John Egbert lol but also he is freedom and controls the wind

Morax: not certain yet, I like your ideas of him being a light player! I also considered time or blood I think

Beelzebul: mage of time? She understands the flow of time and has suffered from things coming to an end. Or maybe a witch because she refuses to accept that time continues onward and is trying to control it

Nahida: I haven’t finished this quest yet so I might get spoiled by sending this ask, but she seems like a total mind player of some kind to me so far

LMFAO VENTI IS JUST RESKINNED JOHN

I dont exactly agree with that but thats too funny

Theres lots of “Raiden is time player” stuff so far

The reason I think Baal is a Rage or Hope player is because her beliefs on what Enternity are very specifically skewed not JUST to mean "time passing"

This is something I've found very interesting about almost every Electro user IVe seen the quests of, or know what they act like. Almost every Electro user, as a very skewed, contrarian view of things around them. They often times have familiars, or rather, "imaginary friends" created by their own beliefs and that stem from a prolonged sense of loneliness and almost denial of things, as they desire to take control of reality around them to cope with the rather harsh realities around them.

This is seen with Razor, through his wolf spirit and his denial to properly intergrate back into a society he would normally belong to and his wanting to see only the wolves as his means to life. This is seen through Fischl too, with her Crow/Raven companion and her almost sincerely delusional way of speech and addressing herself, reffering to herself as Royalty, a creator of worlds and speaking boistoriously to a point the crow needs to translate her often. Qaqing isnt quite like this from what I've seen, but she believes the only true path is to a;llow the beliefs and hopes of people towards gods should die out in the modern age. Even Ningguang implicating this would normally make her look like someone kinda crazy and not exactly as trust worthy to people typically.

This gives me the exact energies of characters like Eridan and Jake English, Eridan with his extreme veiws skewed towards joining the enemy being the only way out of the game; and with Jake English's denial and deep seeted need to act like a Cool Movie Guy and be very peppy macho on the surface to ignore the reality around him.

Baal does the same exact thing to absolute extreme. She believes hiding herself away, creating a new version of herself to take over and leaving the rest to Yae Miko and the other politicians in Inuzuma will just take care of the rest will allow nothing to ever change. But she winds up doing this to a tyrannical level. She even tries to create another person out of the hope it will be a replacement for the loss of her sister with what she remembers and believes her sister to have been more like to see if she could create hope for a future to continue as it always had been with her twin on the helm of things, and as a fear of controlling him but having no use for him, tosses him.

Rage however is all about delusional levels of anger and wrath, which given Scaramouche and other facts about Raiden, i dont think I need to go deeper into there but u get the picture. Shes deeply troubled, depressed and resentful of her sisters passing, so much so she would have rather create another plaine of existence where experiencing the real world just doesn’t even need to happen anymore; Shes in denial that “enternity” staying in her world and just stagnate in a never ending place where nothing bad or good ever happens isnt realistic, isnt healthy  and time passing needs to take its course, but more in the sense she just doesn’t want to face it at all, she doesnt want to accept people and things need to change, need to face hardships, and that she needs to accept responsibility for what she herself has done too by being gone for so long. She also has Yae Miko, who while down to earth in comparison to most Electros I’ve seen, is literally Baal’s own familiar that translates her in a sense and knows whats best for Raiden, which she understands Baal’s mentality / way of thinking a little too well. Is still of the belief she can be redeemed even during her tyranny.

I dont know much about Beidou - But shes a Pirate, and I dont really need to explain why this seems like a rebellion out of resentment for how things are and how she drinks and is always a lot less uptight than characters like Ningguang seems like her own sense of Escapism.