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#and tumblr gives me a place to either escape from it or talk about it in a way the real world can’t
twomanyfandomshelp · 1 month
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How do you have so many moots??!
Well, I’ve been posting on tumblr for about five months now (that’s crazy, what the heck), and my first moot, the wonderful, fabulous Nico (@thekingofworems), was actually the one who got me to start posting. I was a lurker for a while, but I eventually got on tumblr one day and just found an ask in my inbox saying “ay, the ace to my aro let’s go!” because my bio said “Lily, minor, she/her, aroace” or something to that effect, and Nico had decided to put an ask in my inbox about it. Then I decided to answer the ask and he sent me another one and we had a short, but very nice conversation. Then I decided to make an intro post about who I was and what fandoms I was in and start posting whatever random stuff I wanted and reblogging posts I liked. Then it kinda snowballed from there and I gained a bunch of moots from interacting with people! A few of my early moots are moots themselves, so it was like I was collecting the whole group lol. Tag games helped because I basically saw lists of who was mutuals with my mutuals and I could see who liked the same things as me. Also, just spending way too much time on this app lol.
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gojocp · 1 year
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waking up with jjk characters
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cw: fluff, sweet bf megumi, gojo almost kills you /j featuring: gojo satoru, megumi fushiguro
a/n: hi!! this scenario has been in my drafts for SO LONG and i'm just getting to writing it 💀💀also i changed my tumblr theme from light blue to dark blue, and i really like it!! lmk how this is (im so sorry if the characters are ooc)
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GOJO SATORU: ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
on the rare occasions satoru gets to sleep in, he uses it to his full advantage, staying in until noon - and not letting you leave either. you have tried multiple times to escape his arms, but each time you get close, he only pulls you in and holds you tighter. at this point you've given up trying to escape and instead try reasoning with him to let you go.
"please satoru! i have to use the bathroom so bad! do you want me to piss myself?" you plead, turning to face him.
"if it means you stay here, then yes." he responds, holding you closer to him.
"pleasee! it's almost 12:30, i wanted to start the day bright and early! let me go!!" you beg, losing energy over his antics.
"it's a little late, don't you think? why not just stay with me a little longer? what's the harm in that?" he reasons, opening one eye to look at you.
"the harm is that i'm about to piss myself! let me go!" you respond sternly.
"yeah, no harm done, that's what i said." he says, ignoring your pleas and instead laying ontop of you.
after going back and forth with him, you completely give up on the excuse of having to use the bathroom and decide to lay in his embrace. you rarely get the chance anyways.
"... i knew you were lying about pissing yourself."
"shut up." .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
MEGUMI FUSHIGURO: ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
it's been almost 2 whole hours since megumi woke up. and he's been in bed the whole time. why? because you're there with him, of course! and he doesn't have the heart to move and risk waking you up when you're sleeping so soundly in his arms, resting your head on his shoulder and using it as a pillow.
megumi shifts to rest his chin on your head, pulling you closer. he rubs your head gently as you begin to stir awake.
"mmh, megumi?" you say hoarsly, blinking sleep from your eyes.
"hmm?" he hums.
"what time is it?" you yawn, blinking sleep away from your eyes.
"almost 8. you can go back to bed, babe. it's still early." he kisses your temple and coaxes you back to sleep. .・。.・゜✭・.
you wake up again to the smell of breakfast being made.
you feel around the bed looking for your boyfriend. "megumi?" you call out.
"yeah?" he answers, walking in the room with a tray of breakfast. talk about smooth.
"you didn't have to.." you sigh, as he places the tray on the bedside table.
"i wanted to." he smiles softly at you. "go wash up, then we can eat."
"okay, give me 10 minutes." you respond, getting out of bed and stalking your way to the bathroom.
"i'll be here.."
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A Message For Those Struggling With Shifting
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.
A Message:
I know it feels demotivating. I know when you open a social media app and see everyone’s success, story times, and etc, the only thing you can think is:
“Why can’t this be me? What am I doing wrong? Why haven’t I done it yet? Why is it taking so long? Can I just not do it? Is it impossible?”
The longer you keep thinking things like that, the more you will spiral downward into that hole that consumes you, thinking you’re not good enough.
And I know that’s what it feels like—that it consumes you completely, and you feel as though your trapped in a place you don’t want to be in, and the only option for escape you can’t even do.
But this simply isn’t true.
Think of all the times you’ve opened your phone to see everyone talking about shifting. And instead of spiraling downward, go upward.
If everyone has posted this much content about the same thing, and not even online…people have made literal books about this topic called “shifting realities.”
And for the sake of argument, literally the tag “ #shifting ” on Tumblr has over 16k members in it.
If that many people believe in it, a lot of which have actually done it, why do you think you can’t either?
Let me put it this way…
You aren’t special.
I’m sorry, I know that sounds bad, but let me explain: You are not special. Everyone on this planet has the ability to shift, and millions have—as a matter of fact, EVERYONE has, unknowingly. You shift when you decide to wear a red shirt instead of a blue one, and etc etc.
If so many can shift, so can you. You have the same tools and abilities as the next person.
You can. And you will.
You just have to believe it. Believe it in a way where you don’t even question it—believe it so much that when you suddenly do get the thought, “Why haven’t I done it yet?” Your next thought is, “That’s silly. I can do it whenever I want to.”
You can do anything you set your mind to. You just have to believe you can.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.
Why I Made This Post:
I made this post mainly for myself. I made it so I can look back on it and remember what I should be thinking instead of what I am thinking.
It’s hard to know that I hold the same abilities as everyone else, and I’ve shifted countless times without knowing and on accident, and I’m amazing at manifesting so much so that whatever I want can come into the 3D instantly.
But when it comes to Shifting, every thing I try doesn’t work. I know I can do it and I 100% believe it’s real, and every time I do try, I feel like I’ve shifted but when I wake up and I’m still in my CR, I just feel…I don’t even know how to explain it.
It’s like you’ve scheduled a vacation and you’re looking forward to it for months, and the night before you think, “Omg, I can’t wait! Tomorrow’s the day I go on the vacation I’ve been waiting for!” And then you wake up the next day and see that a reason you don’t even know, your vacation is canceled and your money you spent on it got sent back to you. It feels like that.
And I know I just need to assume I can do it, and that I shouldn’t think of it as “trying” to shift but instead as “deciding” to shift, and I do do all of those things. But for some reason I’m still here, and it makes me feel things I can’t even explain.
But that doesn’t mean I’ll give up. I know I can do it, and I believe that it’s real and I can do it so I know I will.
I just wish it will happen sooner rather than later.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⋆.
Last Thoughts:
Sorry if this post is weird or like, I don’t know, hard to read. And I didn’t mean to dump all my personal struggles into this, but that’s why I started posting on this app in the first place. I want to help others by telling what I’ve learned, and I want learn things from other people.
If you’ve read this far, thanks. And I hope you know that you can do it. If you don’t believe it, know that I believe you can.
Have a good rest of your day.
Sincerely,
Your Neighborly Weirdo
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cxlbybrock · 11 months
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Colby Brock x Reader
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Hey guys, this is my first story on Tumblr, I hope you enjoy! Feel free to leave any requests in the comments!
Colby broke up with you a couple years ago, you moved away and moved on. Now, two years after the break up, you return to LA with a new love and a new feisty attitude. Your best friend (let's call her Ash for the sake of simplicity) invites you to a party to welcome you back, she invites Sam but is it only Sam who shows up?
CW: cussing, cheating(?), no smut but a lot of talking about sex and sexual references, teasing, jealousy, 18+ only please
Unpacking was an obvious bore, you had some help from Theo, your boyfriend of one year and your best friend. Now, after a couple years you're returning to LA, a place with too many memories. Both good and bad. You're an influencer, popular for fashion and modelling content, LA is a big centre for pretty much everything. Why would you leave? We'll get into that later.
Ash's phone buzzes on the table, bringing you out from your trance.
"Make sure you get your best outfits out for tonight, Y/N." Ash teases. You roll your eyes, a sarcastic sigh escaping your lips.
"What did you do now?" You raise your eyebrow mockingly, hands on your hips.
"Just make sure you're fucking ready!" Ash's excited voice almost makes it hard for you to keep up with this annoyed facade.
"whose ready for what?" You feel hands snake around your waist and breath ghosts your neck. Ordinarily, it'd send goosebumps up your spine, make your heart race or even your cheeks flush. Not today. You put it off as the stress of moving into a new apartment but lying to yourself is still lying.
"You guys are going to be ready, dress nice later and meet me at my house around 9 o'clock." Ash smirks devilishly. Her demeanor is troublesome and worrying you, if you know your best friend you know she's planning something. Ash's plans are always stupidly insane.
Pulling out your phone, your eyes widen.
"it's already 7:30! Be at your house for 9?! I will not have enough time to get ready!" You scramble away from Theo, he pecks your cheek and you go with Ash to get ready at her place instead. She insisted in fact that Theo show up later and you guys have some 'girl time'.
Plonking yourself down on her bed, her personality switches. Serious; an emotion that she rarely displays.
"Right, I'm not overstepping here or anything but Theo... Do you actually like him?" She asks, if anything your best friend is honest but at this moment you're wishing she wasn't so observant.
"yes, of course." You scoff, lying. Although, is it a lie if you don't currently realise that it isn't true? Either way, she isn't accepting this answer.
"girl, he's literally the most vanilla boring man I have ever seen. He's blonde, wears the same clothes every day and likes boring shit. If he was a spice, he'd be flour. He's so different—"
"—different than what?" You bite back, interrupting Ash. She's unfazed, she's never cared about sharing her opinion and the sad thing is, she isn't wrong.
"than your other boyfriends. I mean, is the sex even exciting? When you were dating Colby, you used to call me everyday and rave about him so much that I even liked him. But Theo... I couldn't tell you one fact about Theo, he's more bland than rice." Honesty, but the sort you'd take the wrong way if it wasn't so true.
Once again, you knew deep down that she was right. You're dating a pretty boy, sure. But he was more like a shell, he wasn't necessarily strong willed and to be honest you didn't even know if he had any long term goals. The conversation continued and before you knew it, the time rolled around and Ash was giving you a blindfold as she led you along.
You decided on a low cut shirt, a pleated skirt and some fishnets (among other accessories). The tips of your black hair tickled your lower back as you walked downstairs.
"why are you wearing all black?" A voice asks, as you remove your blindfold you realise it's Theo.
"I thought it'd look sexy." You shrug, unbothered.
"you look like a weird goth." Theo says pointedly, this bothered you and you could tell you would make a scene but you bit your tongue and pressed on but you were still pissed off.
Many influencers and friends show up to the party, it's incredible and everyone's having a good time and it's nice to have the opportunity to introduce your friends to your boyfriend.
"Hey, Sam's here!" Ash yells over the music, you and Theo step away from the party to greet Sam, a very good old friend of yours. As you approach the front door, there's not one but two people. Sam ... And he brought Colby. Fuck.
You see Colby's eyes scan over your outfit, your curves, his eyes linger on your thighs and your cleavage and it makes your whole body hot. You bite your lip, it's a nervous tic but you can tell Colby thinks it's intentional.
Then, his eyes fall on your boyfriend and he smirks. He barely glances his way before his eyes pierce yours again.
"Y/N! Hey! Welcome back to LA, it's so good to see you again!" Sam smiles warmly and pulls you into a hug, you hug him back and smile brightly in return.
"hey Sam, I missed you so much." You reply before stepping away. "Sam, this is my boyfriend, Theo." You introduce your boyfriend and step aside so he can talk to Sam but he just gives him a weird look and mutters "hi."
"Theo..." You hear Colby whisper, snickering. Stepping forward, he gives you a look that could make any woman fold like a deck chair. "Hey, it's good to see you. You look sexy by the way." He smirks, he knows what he's doing and he's trying to get your boyfriend fired up.
You hit his arm and give him a futile warning look. Much to your dismay though, your boyfriend is unfazed by Colby. As toxic as it sounds, a reaction would've been nice, a little jealousy is hot sometimes.
"Wow... Is your boyfriend a cardboard cutout or something? Did you forget the voice box when you found him on the side of the road?" Colby teases you further and you glare at your ex.
"Colby..." You warn him again and he holds his hands up defensively. However, your boyfriend still doesn't care and it's really bothering you now. He has no spice to him, just like Ash said and the more you look, the more you see it.
Sam diffuses the situation although Colby is really making it his mission to get under Theo's skin.
The night continues without much drama, you're thankful but of course you couldn't have an easy ride. You veer off to grab yourself a drink, leaving Theo behind because honestly even you're getting bored of him now. He won't even dance with you, it's like he doesn't care about you at all.
You flick the bottle cap off the Smirnoff, you consider pouring it into a glass but you decide to just drink it straight out the bottle, it might make the night more bearable.
"woah, steady. I know your man has no personality but it's not like the alcohol is gonna give him any." You turn to the voice, Colby. Only now, can you really take in his appearance. All black, of course. But his rings, his chains, his tattoos... Fuck he looks so sexy— no, no he looks utterly repulsive... What is your brain doing? Your body is going against you and you're so frustrated.
"My man has plenty, thank you." You bite back, irritated. His proximity wasn't something you thought about until one step pinned you to the counter, his hands on either side of you.
"come on, he probably doesn't even last five seconds... No wait, I bet you guys haven't even gotten there yet." Colby reads your expressions and a sinister smirk spreads across his lips "wait he hasn't fucked you yet? Damn it's worse than I thought." His finger traces the hem of your shirt down to your cleavage, it makes your heart race as you try your best to pay as little attention to Colby or how your body responds to him.
"colby, move. You broke up with me, remember?" You glare at him, although let's be real that isn't what you want to do and honestly if you were still single it'd be a different story.
His fingers tug at your fishnets and you feel the cold metal of his rings touch your thighs. You intake a shaky breath and it's hard to keep your composure. "Oh, come on. You don't want me to go away, this is probably the most revved up you've felt in a year..." Colby smirks and leans into your ear, he tucks your hair behind it and you feel his breath ghosting your ear. "I mean... When you touch yourself, I bet you're still thinking about the way I used to do it to you."
Your heart races, goosebumps cover your body. If you don't admit it, it doesn't mean it isn't really happening and right now every fibre in your body wants Colby to bend you over that countertop and give you something you've been missing for the last two years but you keep up your walls.
"don't flatter yourself. It's been years, I've moved on." You bite but every time you bite, he bites harder.
Blue eyes bore into yours as he slides his hand up your thigh towards your skirt, your breath hitches. "Colby I'm in a relationship now, we can't." You want to sound strong but your voice falters, you don't want him to stop and he knows it.
"but you want to." He says pointedly. "Break up with him, I don't understand why you're with him." Colby speaks his mind but with his hands caressing your thighs, honestly it's hard to form a real sentence.
"He's nice." You say, feeling bad that the only thing you could think of was a basic, boring ass word.
"nice... You know why nice guys always finish last?" Colby asks, you shake your head and he smirks like a Cheshire cat "it's because their girlfriends never finish at all." His hands find your ass and he plays with the fishnets around it. "But don't worry..." He squeezes your ass and your fingers grip onto the countertop, you're almost under his spell "... I can always finish you off..." He whispers into your ear, his hands crawl up your body and it sends shivers up your spine.
Before anything in you can respond, the door to the kitchen flies open and your eyes widen.
Let me know if you guys want part two!
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teatreeoilll · 9 months
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|| Blind (Gojo Satoru X Reader) ||
(Reposted from my old blog which I don't have access to anymore (thanks Tumblr), if you liked it reblogs or likes would be appreciated to get me back on track since I've lost all my followers and half my work :(
Not me getting inspired by rom-coms to write this.
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The wind ruffled your hair while you walked, and the song playing through your headphones was about to reach the best part. You felt your eyes slowly closing to relish in the moment, breathing in the soft cool air. But, in the busy city streets, a moment is too long.
"Oh god, oh no! All your things! I'm so sorry -" Your shoulder still hurting from the hit you took to it, you plummeted down to collect shopping bags the man you bumped into dropped in the collision.
You put the bags gently in his arms, looking up to meet his face. His white hair sticking up from the tension of the blindfold he was wearing. "Oh - oh my god, I'm so sorry!" You fumble, "I - I'll help," you grab the bags back from his arms. Oh god, suits me fine to bump into the only blind man on this street.
"It's fine, really." The man's hands took hold back on the bags. "How can it be fine? Please! I don't think anything's damaged, we'll check later, please. Tell me where you need to go!" You insisted. "I - uh," The confusion on his face was obvious. In your mind the racing thoughts, the bitch who hurt a blind man and wouldn't even help him? How could you live with that?
You took his side and grabbed his forearm lightly. "Listen, I'm really fine -" He tries to protest. This is no time for niceties, he may be too proud to receive your help, but you'll give it either way. "Oh god, Is your arm hurt too?" You mumble, remembering your own aching limb, "Do you want to get it checked out? The hospital's not far, I swear!" The man chuckles for a moment, the smirk staying permanently on his face.
"It's fine, really. I was just going to the shop down the road, they have the best Mochi there." He announces. "Oh, I know the place!" You chime, holding both his shopping bags and arm hostage to drag him down the street. You try to walk slower at first, but he seems to have no problem adjusting to your pace.
Once you've reached the shop, you tugged softly on his sleeve to signal him to turn, propping your arm up for him to lean on while stepping over the stairs leading to the establishment, then quickly holding the door open for him. "I'll treat you, please!" You pull out a chair for him to sit on, "What do you like?" “I like girls who grab me by the hand, just to take me to my favorite place,” He laughs, his pale hands reaching to his blindfold, dragging it down until it rests on his neck.
Through his white lashes, a pair of bright blue eyes stare directly at yours, his face far more handsome than you'd expected. You put the bags down on the empty seat, a sigh escaping your lips, your hands reaching to cover your sheepish face. "So, you're not, uh -" You mumble through the uneasy feeling taking over your body.
"Blind?" He grins, "No, I'm not blind."
"You could have said something earlier," you complain.
"I tried, you wouldn't let me. You still dropped all my things you know - so how about that treat now?"
You found yourself with no choice but to agree, you sighed while standing at the register, probing through your bag for your wallet.
Just as you've received your order, three teens in similar uniforms had surrounded the man's table.
"Gojo-Sensei, are you okay? Is this your girlfriend- no, that's not possible," The girl exclaimed.
"What are you talking about, Kugisaki? That so-could-be possible!" A pink-haired boy retaliated.
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alovesongshewrote · 2 years
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Slightly Stabbed | The Lost Boys x Reader
Plot:  you get a little bit stabbed.  oopsie? [The Lost Boys x GN!Reader]
Word count:  3807
Warnings: first aid, stab wounds, blood, the reader has some issues but it's ok
A/N: this is literally a fanfic in headcanon form, holy fuck.  tumblr almost couldn’t handle this thicc thing
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Sooooooo, here’s the thing about dating a group of vampires
They uh
They can smell blood
AND I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING, BUT WE AREN’T GOING THERE
At least not today
No, today we’re discussing the fun challenge that is Hiding Your Stab Wound From Your Four Boyfriends
(five boyfriends if you want to add michael, and five boyfriends one girlfriend if you want to add star)
Either way
All these bitches can smell your blood, which makes hiding injuries Difficult
It literally doesn’t matter how little blood there is, the second that red shit escapes your flesh prison, they Know
It makes papercuts very difficult, because you’ll be reading, you’ll get the papercut, and then one or more of them will just Appear behind you like
“Hi, could I offer you a band-aid?  Or perhaps you could offer to give me a sip of your blood?”
It’s a fuckin
Process
Also, RIP to you if you ever get scratched in the face by something, because some of these fuckers
(paul and marko)
Will just
Lick your face
They don’t even give any warning, they’ll just lick you
It’s
It’s an experience, to be sure
It’s even more of an experience if you go with the idea that they have forked tongues
But anyway, we aren’t here to talk about little injuries
We’re here to talk about Stab Wounds and How To Hide Them
Short answer: you can’t hide them.
Aaand that’s it, thanks for coming to the TEDTalk everyone, rmr to like and subscribe, blah blah blah
Long answer:
Let’s start with how you got the stab wound
Because that’s very important
Now
There are lots of ways to get stabbed
The boardwalk isn’t the safest place
And i mean, you’ve seen the “people are strange” sequence, there are missing posters fucking everywhere
And yeah, all that murder that could be just the boys, but also
There could be other killers wandering around, you don’t know
There are also vampire hunters
And random delinquents
And people who just
Don’t Like The Boys
And by association, don’t like you
Whatever it is, whoever stabs you
They manage to get you one of the few times you’re on the boardwalk alone
To any passers by, it just looks like a fist fight- probably something that came out of harsh words and youthful anger
But alas, the sharp stinging in your side says something else
Actually, it’s less saying something else, and more screaming it
Nevertheless, you manage to fight off your attacker, and then you’re left standing on the boardwalk, your hands covered in blood as you try to put pressure on your wound
It’s a very strange experience
You’ve got a hole
In your side
You’re leaking blood
And you almost don’t know what to do next
But you know you can’t exactly go home like this, so you end up walking through the crowds on the boardwalk, fighting off shock and trying to ignore the bright lights and joyful screams around you as you try to find a bathroom to clean up in
If anyone notices that you’re hurt, you don’t notice them
Eventually, you find a bathroom, and once inside, you lock the door behind you and take a look in the mirror
As you stare down your reflection, you silently pray that the wound looks worse than it is
In part because it looks really bad
Like, bad enough to freak you out
But you’ve also got your fingers crossed that it looks worse than it is because, uh
If you die alone in a random boardwalk bathroom, David will kill you.  
And yeah, the thought of an angry david sobers you up pretty quickly
You start doing first aid on yourself
You’re no pro, but you do your best with what you have
You clean the excess blood off of your wound with paper towels and tap water
At first you’re so focused on speed that you forget to be gentle
You regret it
But you quickly learn how to get shit done efficiently without needlessly torturing yourself
And thank fucking god, the wound does actually look worse than it is
The stab wound isn’t deep, and it didn’t hit anything important
It’s just gross
Once the bleeding stops, you frantically wash all of the blood off of your skin
And then you realize that you don’t have much to patch yourself up with
You end up using your jacket, which was already stained with your blood beyond repair
You rip it up for bandages, and then you realize that you’re uh
You’re probably going to have to get another shirt
Because yours has Noticeable Bloodstains
And not only will your Vampires notice that
But so will the General Public
So yeah, you buy a dumb t-shirt from the boardwalk
It says, “i survived the murder capital of the world and all i got was this stupid t-shirt”
You find it hilariously ironic that you are using this shirt to hide the fact that you almost didn’t survive the murder capital of the world
Anyway
You yeet your old shirt into a random fire, and then you head on back to the cave, hoping for the best
(hoping for the best here means: hoping that you don’t start bleeding again)
You don’t
And hey, when you get to the cave, it looks like the no one’s home
So that’s another win for you!
You walk on in and let yourself collapse onto one of the couches
And i mean, you instantly regret it, because ow
But it’s nice to feel something soft and comfortable after the time you had
You can’t relax, though
For one thing, every time you close your eyes you’re back there
Either getting stabbed by a stranger on the boardwalk, or shaking in the bathroom trying not to bleed out
You can feel your breath coming faster as the adrenaline in your system fades away and you start to realize that you were just stabbed
Someone pulled a knife on you, and they stabbed you
They could have killed you, you could have died, and you’re lucky you didn’t, but also, you’re not super lucky because you still got stabbed
And you really liked the shirt that you had to burn
And for another thing
There’s a vampire standing in front of you
When you open your eyes it makes you jump and scream a little
Which irritates your stab wound
Which makes you scream more and curl in on yourself
It’s very confusing to poor paul, who was already very confused because he could smell your blood even though none of your vampires bit you that day
Also, it’s not super relevant but you should know: he does kind of look like the “mom i frew up” meme
Or at least he does at first
Because the second you start to curl in on yourself, he is on you
Usually he’d apologize for startling you, but right now?  Right now he can tell something’s up
Your boys might be dumbasses, but they’re more than smart enough to know when something is wrong
So, paul goes all
“Hey pretty thing, are you okay?  What’s wrong?”
And you
You don’t want paul to worry, and you don’t want him to get mad at you for letting yourself get stabbed
And you really don’t want to talk about your stab wound in general
You just want paul to go so that you can have a panic attack over it in peace
But he doesn’t go
So you respond with
“I’m fine!  Totally, totally fine, I just slept on my side weird and it’s bugging me, that’s all”
And y’know what, you’re actually mildly convincing
Too bad he can smell your blood
Thanks to that fun vampiric trait, he knows you aren’t telling him the truth
So, he leans in a little further, eyebrows furrowed, and he says
“You can tell me, baby.  What’s wrong?”
Luckily (depending on who you ask) you don’t have to answer him, because marko drops into the cave
Yeaaaah, you were lucky enough to come home like, two minutes before the boys did
Rip
Anyway, it doesn’t take marko long to notice the scene on the couch
You’re curling up into the armrest and paul is leaning over you
It looks weird
And
You’re clutching your side
And paul looks concerned, so like i said, these boys may have like, three solid brain cells between them (three and a half if you want to count star) but they fucking Know when something’s up
Especially when something’s up with you
So, marko bounces over
And now he’s asking what’s wrong
He leans over the armrest of the couch
So he’s standing like, behind your head
And he asks, “What’s up, hot stuff?”
You lean your head back so you can look at him, you roll your eyes at the pet name, and again you say
“I’m fine.  Paul’s just being a dick”
And paul, who now looks majorly offended, collapses onto the couch by your feet and goes
“I am not!  I’m being a concerned boyfriend, you’re being a dick!”
Paul picked the wrong place to sit, because you kick him in the leg as hard as you can without hurting yourself
It’s not super hard, but paul acts like you stabbed him, ironically enough
While you and marko grin at his dramatics, david and dwayne drop into the cave
And uhhh, they’re much harder to distract, so good luck with that
Literally from the second they get into the cave, they’re both honed in on the smell of your blood
They make their way towards the couch you’re all crowded on, and as they do, david says
And he projects a bit, so the sound echos off the cave walls
“Why do I smell blood?  Paul, Marko, did you start something without us?”
His tone is chiding, maybe a little teasing
But the second he sees their faces, his taunting demeanor drops to something much scarier
Concern
And now david says your name
And his voice gets a little deeper as he asks you why he can smell your blood
As you struggle to come up with an answer, david and dwayne make their way over to the couch
Dwayne, Known Sweet Boy, comes up behind the couch, takes your hand and kisses it
He doesn’t ask you anything, but he also doesn’t let go of your hands
You don’t look at his face
If you look at his face, you know he’s going to look back at you with an expression that is 100% concerned puppy dog, and you will crack like an egg and tell them everything
And then it’ll become a huge deal
And they won’t leave you alone
And you’ll probably cry in front of them
And you’ll make them waste their night taking care of you
And then you’ll get yelled at for being stupid, so no
You do not look at dwayne
Instead, you focus your attention on paul, who’s focusing on david, who’s focusing on you
And for a second, everything is silent
Then david kneels at your side which is fuckin
Rare
He likes to feel tall, kneeling is the Opposite of that
But he does it nonetheless
And he says your name again, and you Don’t Look At Him, you just keep your gaze straight and pretend to be somewhere else
Of course he says your name again, sounding more irritated this time
And he asks
“Why can we smell blood outside of the cave?”
And you relent a bit by answering
“Hey, it’s not like I’ve never bled around you before.  Remember that time I fell?  Or the time I gouged my shin open?  Or the time one of the pigeons bit me?”
Yeahhh, even you know it’s a stupid argument
No matter how much blood you’ve lost around them, you know it doesn’t match this
And marko puts your thoughts to words
He legit says
“Yeah, but it’s never been this bad before, babe.  What’s wrong?”
And after that you’re just
Bombarded with the boys asking some variation of “What’s wrong?” over and over
You cling to dwayne’s hand as their voices start to overwhelm you
But then he pulls away
And you just can’t take it anymore
So you yell
And you don’t mean to yell it, you just want to be heard
“OKAY, OKAY, fine, I’ll tell you”
They shut up, and instantly your voice drops like
A million decibels
As you say
“I… I may have been… lightly stabbed.”
There’s a beat of silence and then
“I’m sorry, you were STABBED?”
Dwayne breaks his silence, looking horrified, which is almost funny, because you know his methods of killing are a little more brutal than “stab the victim with a knife”
But then again, he’s never tried to kill you, so
Anyway, dwayne’s outburst is followed by paul and marko both shrieking some form of “excuse me”
(“I’M SORRY, WHAT?” and an actual, “EXCUSE ME?” respectively)
David is silent now as the other three just
Lose their shit
Paul is demanding to know where the wound is
Marko fucks off to go hunt for first aid supplies, but you can still hear him shouting about it
Dwayne has taken your hand back and he looks into your eyes as he asks
“Who did this to you?”
And quietly, you go
“Some douchebag on the boardwalk- look, guys, I was only lightly stabbed-”
And there’s another outburst
Paul and marko both yell that being “lightly” stabbed still isn’t good
Dwayne looks like he might kill someone or start crying, you aren’t sure which, maybe both
And that’s when david grabs your jaw
He’s surprisingly gentle with you- though, considering the stab wound, maybe that isn’t really a surprise
Either way
David makes you look at him, and he asks you
In a voice he reserves for quiet moments, which this isn’t, and special occasions, which this technically is
“Where’s the wound, baby?”
With a sigh, you tear your eyes from his and gingerly lift up your new shirt to reveal a blood-soaked makeshift bandage, which itself covers the shallow wound in your side
Haha, fuck
You wince at the sight of it
But your boys remain stone faced- if anything, they look angry
Except for paul, who also winces, but in a split second he goes from wincing to pissed like everyone else
And you let out a groan, because this is the one thing you were trying to avoid
Anger and concern
Just as you open your mouth to apologize, marko slams a small box of first aid stuff on the floor by the couch
You move to reach for it, but instantly, several pairs of hands are on you, pushing you (gently) back onto the couch
You
Roll Your Eyes
Fuckin vampires, always treating you like glass
“Hey, I’m not four years old,” you say, trying to sit up again, “I can treat my own stab wound”
Yeah, as you say it you manage to catch just how absurd your words sound
‘I can treat my own stab wound’ who says that?
You do, i guess
And you intend to follow through, but hey
You get pushed back down again
“Stay still, wouldya?  Goddamn,” Marko fuckin growls as he pins your shoulders down, “We’re trying to help you, so stop moving.”
You give a very defiant wiggle.  No one is amused but you.
With an irritated sigh, you resign yourself to staying on the couch
But it doesn’t stop you from trying to get them to leave you alone
“Look, guys, I’m fine.  Don’t you have anything better to do than poke at me?  Seriously-”
“Ha, you’re cute,” the response comes from paul this time
Paul who has, by the way, taken to holding your legs hostage
He continues with a very blunt
“But seriously, shut the fuck up and let us fix this, ‘kay?”
You glare at him, but with your legs and shoulders pinned, it’s not like you have much of a choice
So you just
Lie there
And try to pretend that this whole thing doesn’t make you want to break down crying because fuck, you couldn’t just almost get murdered, you also had to be a burden
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
As you lie on the couch, the night’s events replay in your head
And as your emotions build, every shitty thing that happened to you that particular week also replay in your head
As marko starts to patch you up, and dwayne takes over pinning your shoulders down, and david starts plotting the murder of whoever did this out loud, you just
Try to stop them from seeing that you are Not Doing Okay
And here comes second, even tougher challenge:
Hiding Your Feelings From Your Four Boyfriends
Yeahhh, you fail at this one, too
Paul notices the tears in your eyes right the fuck away
It helps that he’s looking at your face, and not focusing on the marko medical drama going on at your side
He reaches up towards your face and he just says
In the softest fucking voice
“Hey, what’s wrong baby?”
And you just
Snap
The tears come to the front, just a bit, but it doesn’t stop you from yelling
“Jesus fuck, CAN YOU ALL JUST FUCK OFF SO I CAN CRY ABOUT THIS ALONE?  Go hunt, or something, just- just go away.”
They do not just go away
They don’t really know what to do with that
They just know that you’re hurting and it’s bad
And they Don’t want to leave you alone
So instead, paul and dwayne give your leg and shoulder a squeeze, respectively
In like, emotional solidarity
And david leans in towards you so that you can hear him say
“If one of us was stabbed, you would be upset, right?”
You nod and he continues
“So why is it any different for you?  You’ve been stabbed, you’re allowed to have emotions.”
You’re in the middle of processing that when marko
dear marko
Gives your shoulder a very awkward pat and says
“Besides, crying is sexy!”
And he states it so matter-of-factly
And he does it with this little smile, that you’re sure is supposed to be comforting, but oh my god
David smacks him on the back of the head for that while you just
Start to giggle
It’s which devolves to a weird mix of laughter and tears
It’s like
Mostly laughter
Meanwhile, paul just starts to openly mock marko for his, “crying is sexy” comment
And before you know it, your side is properly bandaged up
Yay!
But of course, it isn’t over
Less yay!
You’re finally allowed to sit up, and immediately paul yoinks you into his side
He clings to you a little bit, too, like he’s not sure he’ll get to hold you ever again
And yknow what it makes sense, you’re human, and fleshy, and easily breakable, and you got stabbed
He’s allowed to be freaked out, too.  They all are
Anyway
The second you’re up, david is on his knees in front of you again
His hands are on your thighs, and now it’s his turn to ask
“Now tell us, baby- who did this to you?”
You give them best description you can, and just like that, they’re all headed for the exit
Except for paul, who’s still clinging to you
But before they can leave you call out to them
And you say, “I’m sorry.”
Every single one of them freezes
The next voice you hear is david’s
He asks
“Why would you apologize?”
And you take a second to answer
Because in your head you have several answers for him, but it is
Very difficult to express them out loud
And as you figure out how the fuck you’re gonna verbalize any of your feelings, the boys come right back to you
Marko plops down on your other side, dwayne stands behind you, and again, david is in front of you
But you can really only focus on david, because once again, he’s on his knees with his hands on your thighs, and he’s looking at you with a mix of confusion and sadness that you rarely see on his face
And finally you say:
“I- um.  I’m making all of you worry.  And it was stupid of me to get stabbed in the first place, because I could’ve gotten myself killed, and then I fucking cried everywhere, and-”
And that’s where you get cut off
Because david leans in (and moves his hands up your thighs) and he says
“Now, why would you ever apologize for all of that?”
You look up and meet his eyes as he continues, but he’s turning to look at the boys around you as he says
“I mean, if we apologized for being stupid then Paul and Marko would never stop apologizing- and if we had to apologize for getting stabbed, well-”
Everyone looks at marko
And that little shit just grins like he didn’t almost get murdered by a bunch of teenagers, and he says
“I’m not apologizing for that.”
It’s a little shit thing to say, but david nods and says, “Exactly, so you don’t apologize either.  It’d be stupid to apologize, okay?”
You nod a little bit, and he smiles and says
“That’s it, babe,” he kisses you on the forehead and he stands
“Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go commit a murder.  We’ll be back, don’t go anywhere.  Paul, you’re good staying?”
Paul promptly buries his face in your shoulder and gives david a thumbs up
Marko stands up, stretches, and starts to bounce away
Dwayne leans down and kisses your temple before he also walks away
Marko then runs back to you to kiss your cheek (he got excited about the oncoming murder)
Aaand that leaves you and paul alone
You turn to face him
(you fail, because he’s not going to move his face from your shoulder until he wants to_
And you ask
“Hey, don’t you want to go do some murder?  Doesn’t murder sound fun?”
And i mean it does
But that’s not the answer you get
The answer you get is a very stressed sounding
“IF YOU PEOPLE KEEP GETTING STABBED, I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO MURDER BECAUSE EVERYONE I LOVE WILL BE STABBED.”
Yep, you and marko really did a number on this poor guy
So, that starts challenge three
Not Getting Stabbed For The Mental Health Of Your Four Boyfriends
It’s an easier challenge, you succeed at this one
Idk about marko tho, marko’s probably gonna get stabbed again.  Not necessarily by a person.  Maybe by a fence.
anyway
2K notes · View notes
asimplearchivist · 1 year
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‘ 𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝓶𝔂 𝓿𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 . ’
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𝐂𝐇. 𝐈 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.
[𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽] [ 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ] AO3 | SPOTIFY | PINTEREST summary ☾ ⤏ steven, unbeknownst to him, meets the love of his life at one of its lowest points. pairing(s) ☽ steven grant/reader word count ☾ 15.7k a/n ☽ [gif credit] ⤏ aka my personal love letter to one steven grant (and myself, because I want to be loved like I love just once).⤏ i am going to be completely honest on this one, guys: this is a borderline self-insert fic that is 100% self-indulgent on my part bc i have felt like shit the last two months and want to treat myself. ⤏ i kept it as a reader-insert because a) some people (including myself) enjoy experiencing different ‘pov’s of reader-inserts, per se; b) it’s easier to be kinder to and romanticize myself when it’s ‘not me’; and c) i feel that it’s still vague/inclusive enough to be counted as a general reader-insert versus labeling it strictly as a self-insert/original character. i really only describe personality traits and the reader being petite, really (bc nothing comforts my 5’0” ass more than knowing i would actually be able to kiss the boys without craning my neck all the way back tbh). i use a few southern colloquialisms, too, just fyi. :) ⤏ typical moon knight fanfic disclaimer: I don’t claim to know very much about did beyond what I’ve gleaned from both the show, the various meta posts I’ve read on tumblr, and from other fanfics themselves, so please forgive and correct me on any glaring discrepancies/issues I may have presented here (or link me any posts that discuss more accurate representations of did, perhaps—that’d be greatly appreciated). some of the terminology/technicalities escape me. I tried my best to get their voices and characterizations just right, and I sincerely hope I succeeded bc they’re very special to me. ☽ MASTERPOST ☾ ☾ ☥ ⤏ NEXT CHAPTER ☽
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The first time Steven met you, it was strictly by happenstance.
He had always considered himself a man with many friends. Although his routine was relatively simple compared to other Londoners who thrived in social settings and spent all of their free time anywhere but home to mingle and chase tail, he had familiar faces he saw frequently. He committed their names to memory when they’d give them off-handedly, he made a point to speak to them in passing even if he or they were otherwise occupied, and he kept a mental list composed of all the details he was able to glean strictly from observation when they didn’t readily volunteer the information.
Perhaps it was a little silly. All lot of them had trouble remembering him, sure, but he couldn’t hold it against them—tons of people had trouble keeping track of faces and people. Sure, JB never quite got his name right even after Steven had worked at the museum for a couple of months by now, but he was a busy man monitoring the security cameras all day long and stayed distracted (with his infatuation with otters, no less—as endearing of a trait as any for someone with a secret soft side). Donna stayed in a tizzy, always worked up over something beyond her control (Steven couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be dealing with the higher-ups trying to meet goals and attempting to exceed them). He didn’t really dislike them for it, even if it had grown rather grating as of late. (Even if it would only take them both a moment to look at his conveniently given and placed nametag.)
Crowley didn’t talk much, all part of the gig, so Steven didn’t hold their one-sided conversations against him, either. The gentleman with the broom cart (whose name Steven never had managed to catch, as gruff as he was) seemed only to ever respond with grunts. The security guards, the tour guides, the usual suspects on the morning and night bus rides…Steven interacted with them all, and they had enough good graces to acknowledge it most of the time.
Over time, however, as his dreams (or perhaps more aptly named nightmares) grew more vivid and more bizarre, as he seemed to lose track of time more and more (how exactly does one manage to miss an entire weekend when one isn’t a blackout drunk?), and as Steven’s anxiety led him into taking more and more precautions to make sure his self-diagnosed sleepwalking disorder didn’t strand him on the other side of London (again), it became more readily apparent that those people with whom he took such care to converse did not seem particularly inclined to return the favor. Sure, he’d accidentally nodded off a few times leaning on the other passengers in the morning bus, ran a little late at times getting to the museum (much to Donna’s ever-increasing ire), and maybe got a little carried away with his nattering when he got invested in something he was excited to share information about, but…would it really kill someone just to respond long enough to reassure him that he wasn’t virtually invisible?
It was one such morning after he overslept, convinced he was late, and worked himself into a right and proper state trying to get to the museum on time that he realized that it was, in fact, Sunday, not Saturday. Much to his bewilderment but proven by his phone, the museum stood barren and closed, doors locked and lights off. He stood at the entrance staring at his dumbfounded expression in the glass for a good five minutes, thoughts racing as he tried to recall anything about the previous day. There was no way he slept an entire day, right? He hadn’t been staying up too late trying to manage his disorder, even if he had been running a little tired lately.
His distress was punctuated by a fat, chilly droplet landing right on his nose. The early spring weather was unseasonably cold this year, leading to an abnormally wet season (as if rain could ever be abnormal in London, but the meteorologists remained convinced), and within seconds of Steven turning and trotting down the steps the skies parted and released their torrential downpour as if just to spite him specifically. Everyone else in the immediate vicinity, if they weren’t holed up in their cars or the myriad establishments bordering the museum district, already had their umbrellas up to shield themselves from the frigid onslaught, ambling along and circumnavigating the puddles lingering from the storm the night before..
Steven shrank into his coat, tugging the collar up and over his head as best he could as he crossed the street and aimed for the first building he saw with its neon, ivory OPEN sign glowing against the gloom—on the corner directly across from the museum entrance. The door was heavy, the handle cold enough he was surprised his palm didn’t stick to it, but he managed to pry it open and tumble inside.
A few people glanced up from their tables to give him a range of skeptical to humored looks before going about their business. Steven hedged to the side of the door in case someone else came in, dripping onto the old hardwood with no small amount of regret.
It was a coffee shop. Comfortingly warm against his numb face, he basked in the scents of espresso and sweets permeating the place. His attention was caught by the bookshelves on the wall to his right, and he was entranced—all until a barista slipped out from the kitchen and addressed him with a croon. “Oh, goodness, look like the weather caught you!”
Steven almost accidentally ignored you thinking that you were talking to someone else (for so rarely did someone speak to him in a tone that wasn’t irritated or dismissive). After his cursory glance in your direction, he did a double-take, realizing you were looking right at him.
“Yeah, I—looked at the forecast wrong, methinks!” he responded sheepishly (and he had—he’d been expecting Saturday’s overcast mist, not Sunday’s shower). “I’m makin’ a right mess, aren’t I? I should probably go before I warp the stain—”
“No! No, just wait a second.” You raised a placating palm before dipping below sight behind the counter. You emerged and rounded the corner next to the display case holding a towel, walking right up to him and offering it to him with a sympathetic smile. “I can’t count the number of times I thought I could beat Mother Nature,” you joked. “It sucks that it’s been so cold on top of it. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten sick.”
Steven accepted it graciously, muttering his earnest thanks as he went about mopping up his sopping curls. Once he’d wiped all the rain he could off of him, he handed it back to you. “Hope I don’t get one, neither,” he responded. “It just wouldn’t do to catch cold in the middle of all this, would it? No.”
You chuckled a bit, eyes glittering with mirth. “Maybe it’ll help if I get you something hot to drink?”
Steven glanced at the menu hanging on the wall behind the counter, eyes rounding a little at the prices. He’d overspent on books again after payday, so he was having to be a bit more frugal this week than usual. “Oh, no, don’t go to the trouble, I’ll just call a cab and get a ride home before it gets too bad.”
“It’s no trouble at all,” you assured him, wringing the towel between your hands. You hesitated only a heartbeat before you leaned in a little closer, smile turning a bit bashful. “I’ll make it on the house, how’s that sound?”
Steven normally considered himself one to give where charity was concerned, but he had to admit that the sound of something warm on his urgently empty stomach was divine at the moment. He cleared his throat, glancing towards the other customers still wrapped up in their own little worlds. “No, I couldn’t—wouldn’t want anyone jealous that they’re not gettin’ the special treatment, you know.”
“It can be our little secret,” you offered quietly, winking conspiratorially at him.
He blinked, heat creeping up into his face. “Oh, well. If you insist, then…just this once?”
“All right.” Your smile lit up your entire face, and you headed back behind the counter to deposit the towel in an unseen hamper.
Steven followed, training his eyes on the menu—the standard fare was reasonable, with alternative options for dietary restrictions. A lot of the custom concoctions did seem lovely, and he was a tad surprised to discover that they served breakfast and lunch, also—with vegan options, most notably. “Wow, I never even knew this place existed. I must’ve been walkin’ right by it this whole time.”
“Do you work at the museum?” you inquired, folding your arms over the counter and propping your chin up in your palm.
“I do, actually,” he beamed, though it was dashed a tad with his next confession. “I want to be a tour guide one day—you know, I’ve been studyin’ up for it and all—but they’ve got me in the gift shop. For now! They said they’d move me up with a new position becomes available.” They said that they would consider him for the role, but Steven clung to his hope that they’d soon realize how bloody good he’d be at it, as hard as he’d been working for it for so long.
“You always have to start somewhere,” you replied warmly. You gestured to the shop around you. “This is just to hold me over ‘til I’m finished up.”
“Are you a transfer student?” Steven asked.
Your brow rose slightly, but your smile didn’t waver. “How observant. Most people ask me how I got lost on this side of the pond.”
“It isn’t often I see Americans anywhere but in the more touristy spots,” he agreed, “but the university is quite prestigious. You must be very academically successful if you landed a transfer scholarship like that.”
“It took a lot of work,” you admitted, “but it’s been worth it. I never thought I’d do anything like this, and I would’ve laughed at you a couple of years ago if you’d told me I’d move this far away from home. I’ve never really been the traveling type, but I’m so grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to do so.”
“What are you studyin’?” Steven inquired. An English major, perhaps—you struck him as the literary type with your articulation, despite your soft, southern drawl.
“Oh.” Your face darkened and you fiddled with the hem of your sweatshirt—dark gray, warm flannel, with a silver astronomical design embroidered into the front. “Well. I went to a university back home and got a degree in writing—” Nailed it! “—but I was notified at graduation that I qualified for this so I thought why not? It’s a bit self-indulgent, really, as I’ve always been a history nut, but I’m, um…” You reached up and scratched the nape of your neck, glancing away as though embarrassed. “...focusing on Egyptology?”
Steven’s brows shot halfway up his forehead. “No kiddin’!”
“Nope,” you confessed, a bit sheepish. “I picked up a book with pictures of King Tutankhamun’s treasures when I was three and I’ve been in love with it since. Maybe it’s a little niche, but it makes me happy—I’m taking other history classes, too, so I’ll end up with an Ancient History major with a minor in Egyptology—that’s just my main focus since I always wanted to be an Egyptologist when I was little. I don’t know that I could ever stand the heat, though, so I’m happy with writing in the comfort of my own home.”
“No, that’s great!” he raved, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m a bit of a history buff meself! The museum has a huge Egyptology exhibit coming up next month, so I’ve been brushin’ up on it all. You know, in case I get to audition.”
“Oh, yeah?” you tried, emerging from your shell just a bit. “Do you have a favorite period?”
“New Kingdom, definitely,” he said immediately. His heart was thrumming, and he was trying (in vain) to contain at least the majority of his enthusiasm. “There’s just so much material to go through. All the texts recovered from Deir el-Medina fascinate me to no end!”
“Yeah, Paneb was a right bastard,” you joked. “He had the whole town stirred up all the time. But we’re not going to talk about Ea-Nasir.”
“Oh, yeah—imagine keepin’ all your hate mail for posterity,” he returned, strumming his fingers against the inside of his sleeves. “What about you?”
“Oh, I’m an Old Kingdom gal,” you said with a chuckle. “Pepi II’s letter about the pygmy won me over. Not to mention all the drama with Teti’s assassination. The workmen’s village at Giza? Oh, how could I pick one thing?”
Finally! Finally, it felt like Steven was talking to someone that spoke his language!
“It’s really hard to, isn’t it?” His stomach was starting to grumble. He cleared his throat, tamping down his anticipation just enough to concentrate on the matter at hand. He glanced up at the menu again, a little remiss with some of the unfamiliar choices—most of those displayed were coffee, but he’d been trying to curb himself off of it in favor of cutting out caffeine altogether for a better sleep schedule. “I, um…sorry, got a little sidetracked there. What would you recommend that’s decaf?”
“Oh, I love chai,” you told him. “Most of the teas we carry are decaf, though we do have decaf coffee, too. We’ve got all the usuals like chamomile, mint, Earl Grey…” You tilted your head slightly. “I’ve been avoiding caffeine since I was a teenager—it makes me antsy.”
“How do you normally take your chai?” he queried, curious.
“As an iced latte,” you said. “Cold foam, cinnamon, whole milk. I like it warm, too, especially this time of year, but there’s something about it iced that I can’t seem to part from—maybe that’s the southern upbringing in me.” You gestured to the equipment behind you. “Would you like to try it?”
“Yeah, sure! But with oat milk, please?”
“You’ve got it, darlin’,” you beamed, and set to work immediately. “I usually drink a small since it’s a bit sweet, that okay?”
“Certainly.”
Never would Steven have thought that he’d find such a deeply kindred soul a stone’s throw away from his workplace he’d never even noticed before today. He had to confess that he was charmed by you almost instantly. It had been a while since he’d met someone so engaging and open—not to mention generous and drop-dead gorgeous to boot! Ironic, really, that the foreigner was treating him more kindly than his native kinsmen. What did the Americans say about southern hospitality?
“Thank you so much,” he said when you returned with the cup and set it in front of him. “It looks great!”
“Go ahead and try it,” you suggested, “and if you don’t like it, I’ll replace it for you with something else.”
Steven had absolutely no intention of telling you to your face that he disliked your favorite beverage, even if he did decide it wasn’t to his taste—much less make you go out of your way to make him another free drink. But as he sipped the heady, sweet mixture the spices melted over his tongue. Despite being served cold, the flavors warmed his mouth and settled cozily into his belly.
“Oh,” he suspired, licking the foam from his lips, “that’s lovely. You’ve won a convert.”
Your smile was nearly blinding with delight. “I’m glad! It’s not for everyone, certainly, but those who do like it always seem to love it. No in between, I guess.”
Steven resisted the urge to suck the entire thing down, folding it between his hands instead as he committed more details of your appearance to memory. Your black apron was a bit big for your frame, dwarfing you a bit, but your sweatshirt did, too—your jeans were well-fitted but not snug. You were wearing very little makeup, just a touch around the eyes, but it emphasized your lashes like a fawn’s. While comfortable, if a bit plain, your ensemble made you seem like the epitome of homey.
“How long have you lived in London?” he asked after another delightful sip.
“Since the start of spring semester,” you said. “It was a big adjustment to show up at the tail end of winter, but I think I’ve gotten the hang of it now for the most part. I still get lost occasionally, but that’s why Google Maps was invented. I’d be up a creek without a paddle without it.” You leaned against the counter again, bracing yourself on the stained surface and gazing up at him as if there existed no other person in the world. “I live right next to the campus, but I work here to get away even though my scholarships carry most of my bills and fees. Ironic, though, ‘cause I don’t exactly consider myself a socialite.”
“You’ve fooled me,” he said with a chuckle. “Bit odd bein’ an ambivert, yeah?”
“I really only talk a lot when I get excited or when I’m with people I’m comfortable being around,” you confessed shyly. “I’ve been told I talk too much about stuff nobody really cares about, so I try not to bother anyone.”
“Now who on earth would have gone and told you that?” he pressed, heart aching all the while. How many times had he been told the very same thing, sometimes with less polite wording?
“Oh, not exactly like that,” you rectified in a hurry, “it’s just…you can tell, you know? When someone isn’t really paying attention to anything you’re saying. I usually get interrupted anyway, so sometimes I find it easier just to keep quiet.” Your skin darkened again, and cleared your throat as you dipped your face to conceal it with a hand. “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I went into all that. See? Rambling too much—words got away from me.”
It was like looking into a mirror—so much so that Steven almost felt a bit of deja-vu.
“No, don’t be sorry,” he said softly. “I understand completely—really, I do. Better than you might think.”
You raised your gaze back up to him, and he understood at once why the philosophers and poets both waxed so romantic on the concept of windows to the soul. He could see your tenderness, your diffidence, your sincerity all there in your jewel-like eyes.
“People talkin’ over you all the time,” he continued with a low murmur, looking down at the cup when the intensity of your stare grew too much—just like looking directly into the sun, “actin’ like you’re invisible or somethin’. Gets frustratin’, yeah? Couldn’t even bother to act like you’re there, could they? No. Seems like too much to ask.”
“Yeah,” you said somberly, but when Steven dared a glance up at you, your expression was one of complete understanding. Never before had he felt so seen. “It doesn’t help when you’re really not a people person to begin with.”
And now that Steven considered it more deeply, he realized that you were right—why did he prefer to stay home rather than go out? Keeping company with a goldfish certainly wasn’t an extrovert’s definition of a good time. Hell, the only reason he really went out of his way to engage with those on the fringes of his daily routine was because he felt it was rude not to because of constant exposure, not because he was itching to have the conversations themselves. He worried constantly that he’d overshare or annoy people, when most wouldn’t even think of it.
He let out a soft laugh, pressing a palm across his forehead.
You quirked a brow, your expression perking up just a bit at the sound. “What?”
“I just realized I’m not really a people person, either,” he said, shaking his head. “Thought all this time everyone else was just awkward at social interaction.”
“Oh,” you chuckled, and there was that ephemeral sparkle of mirth back in your eyes. “Well. Better late than never, right?”
“Right.” He paused, then set the drink on the counter to fish around in his pocket for his wallet. “Here, since you’ve been an absolute angel—”
“Oh, no, please,” you said, waving your palms at him in an attempt to dissuade him, “it was my pleasure. Finding someone else as big of a nerd about Ancient Egypt was tip enough, thank you. You’ve made my whole day.”
And even though his morning thus far had been an utter disaster, Steven believed that you had made his entire day, too.
“Well, all right.” He pointed a finger at you with a wry, toothy grin. “But next time you won’t be able to talk me out of it.”
“Next time?” you echoed, and the unadulterated hope in your eyes made his heart clench.
“Yeah,” he said, “where else will I be able to order the ambrosia of the gods? And nerd out about ancient civilizations? Not all baristas carry a double-edged sword like you do.”
You bit your lip, rolled the hem of your sleeve between your fingertips, and looked down and away. “Oh, stop it. It’s really just a hobby.” You gave him another cheeky smile. “But, if it would make a difference to you, since you seem the type…” You leaned in across the counter, and Steven found himself copying the action as though you had magnetized him. “...there’s a bookstore upstairs, too.”
Oh, bloody Nora, as if you weren’t already perfect enough.
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It wasn’t until Steven returned home, soaked to the bone and shivering from the cold that seeped into his bones after running from the cab into the apartment building, that he realized he hadn’t thought to ask you for your name. And he was normally so reliable about it, too! He kicked himself for it the rest of the day. He hadn’t even looked to see if you’d been wearing a name tag (pretty sure you weren’t, because he would have noticed it, surely), but he had been so disarmed by you in general that every other thought had flown from his brain.
After that, with the scribbled ingredients on the cup immortalized forever via a picture saved on his phone, he developed a fast habit of stopping by there at least three times a week. He had to rearrange his budget just a tad to ensure it did not turn into blatant overspending, but all the teas were excellent and the food was even better. Oftentimes he’d grab at least one meal from there one the days he did decide to go, which varied depending on how terribly he’d slept the night before. Most of the time he opted for lunch since he was afforded only a half-hour break and it was the closest spot to the museum. (The vending machines didn’t have much in the way of variety, vegan options notwithstanding.)
He learned your name the next time he saw you, which had taken a couple of separate attempts—evidently you’d been filling in for someone else for extra hours that dreary morning, as you usually came in for the closing shift during the week due to your morning classes, and typically were station in the bookstore upstairs, at that. You’d confessed that a lot of the part-timers were still inexperienced, and the staff oscillated so much that you had to juggle multiple positions throughout the week in order for the business to keep up efficiency.
Steven decided, at some indeterminate point a couple of weeks later, that you must be sunshine incarnate. Even if there was barely any daylight seeping through the brumous mantle looming over the sleepy city,  you lit up the place with your warm smile, easy laughter, and gentle soul. He could spend countless hours talking to you, although he was usually only limited to the time allotted between him ordering and someone else coming in to do the same. After he got off work late after inventory (again), on the rare occasion that he’d missed lunch and needed supper, you gave him some of the free handouts the employees were allowed to take home and let him sit and talk while you locked the place up.
It was just so easy. Where he’d struggled to even introduce himself properly without making himself out to be a bumbling fool with everyone else with whom he’d interacted, fighting against an invisible current of perceived disapproval and rejection, engaging with you was as natural as breathing. You shared so many adjacent passions with him, the both of you had never once run out of topics to peruse. When either you or he would bring up something with which the other was unfamiliar, all ears would be given in total enrapturement. You got him. You understood him. It was such a relief to have finally found someone with whom he felt comfortable enough to natter on about the Edwin Smith papyrus for a solid thirty minutes without ever losing interest. Neither still had he stopped to imagine what it would be like to be so caught up in what someone else had to say, because you sure knew a hell of a lot about mythology, too—listening to your humored yet romanticized renditions of the tales delighted him to no end.
Your book recommendations were always impeccable, likewise—although you did primarily focus on fiction unless conducting research for your own books, your taste in storytelling relied upon well-developed, detailed, and impactful characters that carried the plot rather than the other way around. (You seemed to genuinely enjoy all of his recommendations, too, despite your general avoidance of nonfiction other than history, much to his relief.) You had a soft spot for romance, whether it was found in modern, historical fiction, fantasy, or sci-fi settings, and Steven took careful note of your mentioned favorite stories, scenes, and characters when he read them himself. You’d both even started annotating and trading books to exchange reviews, and your infectious adoration of certain authors and series decidedly did not help his book collecting problem—although you confessed that you shared the same issue (only to your bank account, though). The used section of the bookstore upstairs was his dream, really—he never thought he’d manage it, naively, but he was actually starting to run out of bookshelves in his flat.
You were fiercely intelligent, hilariously witty, and unbelievably kind—a breath of fresh air where London normally left him suffocated. You were the one ray of sunlight that could pierce the gloom that would encroach on the fringes of his mood no matter how badly he felt. Visiting you was the one routine that kept him grounded, even when he only seemed to lose track of more and more time as he went along—it kept him sane, seeing the way your whole face would light up like a supernova whenever he’d slip through the door. It made him feel normal.
So when a full month had flown by since your first meeting (a happenstance for which Steven would be eternally grateful), he found himself relying on your anchoring presence more and more. The occasions that he was waking up from sleepwalking in completely random places around London were increasing at a worrying rate. No matter how many additional precautions he added to his flat in feeble attempts to keep track of and prevent the episodes (each one perhaps sillier than the last), he never could seem to determine any rhyme or reason for them. His dreams (and sometimes they edged into the territory of nightmares) were growing more frighteningly vivid and visceral by the night, even if he was following every technique suggested by Google to help mitigate his condition.
The evidence was stacking up more rapidly against everything that he’d thought he knew than Steven could neither comprehend nor keep up with—despite thinking that nothing about him could ever be anything but ordinary, a small part of him was truly starting to wonder whether he’d somehow dodged a psychiatric diagnosis all of his life. He felt like he was going mad, watching the lines between what he’d thought were conjurations of his sleep-deprived mind and what he’d been convinced was reality inexplicably blurring beyond any conceivable recognition. ( Was he mad? Had he always been mad?)
Dreaming that he had woken up in the Alps with a frankly ludicrous series of events following shortly thereafter was one thing—the angry booming voice in his head notwithstanding. Discovering that Gus had been mysteriously replaced overnight was another (because there was no way he had regrown a fin—he’d double-checked every pet site reputable enough). Finding out that he had lost track of an entire weekend, accidentally standing up a date he didn’t even recall initiating in the process, almost pushed him over the edge—it had certainly dragged him to it, nevertheless.
Then the secret compartment in his flat, the burner phone and mysterious key, the countless missed calls from a stranger named Layla, who had sounded so deathly worried about whoever in the bloody hell Marc was…Steven didn’t even want to think about the second new voice in his, grave and severe and sounding a little too much like his own to be of any significant comfort, or the mummified apparition of a plague doctor, or Lovecraftian eldritch horror, or previously undocumented cryptid that suddenly decided to start haunting him, for that matter.
But Harrow was real. His odd little cane with the creepy, glowy eyes was real. The magic scales tattoo on his arm that moved without him flexing his arm and changed colors on its own was real. His followers were very, very real. That jackal, with the frothing, rabid, snapping teeth and the milky, glassy eyes and the malnourished, gangly limbs and the wicked, scrabbling claws and the deathly, musty stench was, somehow, terrifyingly real, despite having been invisible to the security cameras.
The security cameras that had captured Steven’s own grim scowl, resolute brow, and defiant, dark eyes—but it wasn't Steven, because he didn’t look like that, even though he shared the same face with the stranger on the footage.
Marc. His name was Marc.
Why is he stuck in my bloody head?
Marc’s property damage, somehow having managed to kill the ghastly creature, if the lack of physical remains and other evidence indicated, and save his life ( ...their lives?) in the process—and at the very least, Marc had kept his word on that front—ultimately cost Steven his job. Several thousand pounds’ worth of property damage, in fact, which somehow Steven was going to have to be able to afford paying off (in increments, at least) to avoid legal prosecution—while also being suddenly and unexpectedly unemployed.
Bloody hell. The not-so-patient request to turn in his bloody nametag had somehow stung more than the pamphlet handed to him boasting the most excellent psychiatric care in the city.
(...He was mad, wasn’t he…? How had he not known? How had he missed all the signs?)
Left remiss with very few ears into which to confide, he spoke in Crowley, always the listening sort. He expelled his tizzied thoughts until he was able to regather them into some vague semblance of order, and decided his next course of action: to chase the one lead he had to hopefully deduce whoever Marc was. It seemed simple enough, although daunting. A simple image search would take him to the location associated with the logo attached to the keychain, perhaps the only source of answers to all the questions brimming in his harried head.
He wanted to know. (But should he?) He had to know. (...Did he really?)
Reeling with inconsolable stress, insurmountable anxiety, precarious emotions, and now the tumultuous internal debate of whether to delve into the affairs which Marc had warned him very explicitly not to, Steven turned to the only other person whose word he valued and trusted above all others in his immediate vicinity (save, perhaps, his mum).
It was mid-afternoon by the time he crept into the coffee shop, and fortunately it was vacant as a couple of university students breezed past him with paper sacks laden with books tucked into their arms and laughing raucously as they headed back out into the sunny spring day. Another barista was slumped behind the counter scrolling on her phone, so Steven knew you were stationed upstairs instead.
He picked his way gingerly up the winding wooden staircase, wincing every time his weight caused a plank to creak in protest. He avoided looking at the narrow windows for fear of seeing any more reflected shapes in them that he couldn’t control, eyes trained resolutely on his feet as he focused on regulating his harsh breathing in an attempt to manage his racing heart.
It was in this way that he ran right into you upon stepping into the bookstore proper. You carried a stack of new prints taller than your head and nearly dropped them all upon impact. Steven’s arms latched out to steady them and you, apologies already spilling from his lips before he could even think of a comprehensible reaction. “Oh, bullocks, sorry—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—I should’ve been watchin’ where I was going— bloody hell, where’s my mind?”
“Steven,” you laughed breathlessly, recognizing his subdued voice and fluttering hands without even seeing him, “it’s okay! No harm done, see? Not a one dropped.” You lugged them over to the display table and set them down on the vacant surface with a soft grunt, swiping your sleeve over your shining forehead. “Whew! Updating all the new publications is a pain. My back’s killing me. I’ll definitely regret all this tomorrow.” You turned back to him, all sunshine and smiles with your terracotta sweater and the gold hoop earrings (clip-ons, he knew, because you’d never had them pierced) dangling amongst the loosened locks framing your face. “It seems a little early for your lunch break, Steven. Are you off today or have I just managed to lose track of time again?”
Your innocuous, innocently humored phrasing should not have sent him spiraling again, but…after the last week of hell that he’d endured, who in their right mind (because he surely wasn’t in his) could blame him for the already tenuous grip on reality he’d been clinging to with only whitened knuckles and sheer force of will?
Your expression fell instantly as tears welled more quickly in his eyes than he could reign them back in, slipping over his cheeks.
“Sorry! I’m so sorry,” he blurted, face burning as he reached up to swipe away the undeniable evidence of his breakdown—in front of you, of all people, Christ alive, he really was losing it—with the edge of his sleeve…to no avail. More tears followed immediately thereafter, blurring his vision, dripping from his chin as he ducked his head and buried his face behind his covered hands. “God, I’m sorry, I don’t—I don’t know what’s come over me, I—”
There was a split second of silence on your end, though he scarcely noticed it but for his pulse raging in his ears and the deafening roar of his thoughts deafening him to any other sound. He barely registered your urgent call over your shoulder further into the bookstore, muffled by the harsh rasp of air dragging in and out of his lungs faster than he could dictate. He was shaking all over, adrenaline coursing through him a kilometer a minute, and his knees were on the verge of giving out from beneath him.
The warmth of your fingers curling gently—always so gentle, you were—around his wrists provided just enough of a distraction to open his eyes again, almost afraid of what he might see. But as you tugged his hands away from his dampened face, standing so close that your clothes were brushing against his and your breath fanned over his face, your eyes drew him in and dragged his thundering thoughts to a murky but much more manageable muddle.
Your brow was wrinkled with worry, mouth set in one of the few frowns he’d ever seen on your otherwise sunny disposition (even when harassed to no end by customers of the ruder variety, although your customer service smile was, decidedly, much colder and not nearly as welcoming). Your eyes were brimming with questions, but you uttered none of them, only, “Come on, there’s a quiet corner in the back.”
Steven allowed you to lead him by the hand like a child through the winding, ceiling-length bookcases into a musty reading niche set up with a lounge chair and ottoman next to a window spilling golden light onto the floor and highlighting every mote of dust that floated through its brilliant stream. You guided him to sink into the chair with a light hand on his shoulder, adjusting the ottoman back to give you enough room to sit directly in front of him. Your knees pressed into his, and when he shakily extended his trembling, open palms with a desperate snivel most people would have found repelling, you only laced your fingers with his and squeezed his hands tight enough to let him know that he could do the same.
“What’s wrong, Steven?” you murmured, beseeching him with your fractaled irises—the sunlight was illuminating every last shade and striation of color in them, more brilliant a palette than the shade ever granted justice. It gilded the edges of your features and the sweep of your fawn-like lashes in gold leaf. “Did something happen?”
Boy, didn’t everything happen—all during one weekend, no less?
The broken, wet laugh that leapt from his lips didn’t startle you, but it did make him jump. He lowered his gaze to focus on your hands clasped firmly in his, studying the creases in your palms, the whorls and arches of your fingerprints on your fingertips, and the light, faded smattering of scars in between—all to avoid the magnetic intensity of your gaze. “What hasn’t happened?” he croaked, throat burning with the effort it took to speak without loosing the gut-wrenching sob clawing ferociously at the pit of his belly. “I can’t sleep, I ruined my date, I lost my goldfish, I managed to get fired from the most pathetic excuse of a job anyone could get for something I didn’t even do, and I think I’m quite literally going mad.” He squeezed his eyes shut against the sting, feeling more tears slip out and trickle down his flushed cheeks. “Nothin’ seems real anymore. I can’t keep track of time. I’m seein’ things that would make an asylum patient have nightmares, but then it’s all comin’ back and tryin’ to eat me, and—” He clamped his mouth shut with a whimper, dropping his chin to his sternum to shut out the intrusive thoughts digging into the back of his mind. He unconsciously ripped his hands free from yours and knotted his fingers in his curls just to feel the ache. “—oh, God, I can’t—it’s too much, I—”
“ Steven, ” you said softly, hands threading through his arms to cradle his face and to thumb away his tears as you leaned in and nestled your forehead against his hairline, lips brushing his brow as you continued to murmur in a low, soothing tone that pierced through the noise like Apollo’s arrow, “it’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you—nothing’s coming after you in here, okay? Just our quiet, little safe place. I want you to breathe with me, okay? Just a little, I know it’s hard to concentrate, but just try for me, okay? You can breathe between if you need to. Want to try? Okay. In…one, two, three, four…out…one, two, three, four. And again. That’s it. You’re doing so good, darlin’, just focus on me. Feel my hands? And my knees? The chair, your feet on the ground, my forehead. Smell the books, the candle, your cologne, my perfume? Hear the traffic outside, the music in the other room, my voice? Okay. Good. Look at me, Steven. Please?”
He raised his head, trembling still but not nearly as close to convulsions as he’d been mere minutes prior, and you interlocked your fingers with his once more to hold them between you as you drew back just enough to peer unflinching into his eyes.
“Good. There you are, darlin’.” Your gentle smile was as precious as molten gold. “You see the books, too?”
He nodded once, unable to tear his eyes away from you. Had you always looked so divine or was he still experiencing delusions?
…No. No, he couldn’t be, because there was nothing about you that wasn’t so blissfully, sincerely, relievingly real. You were just that ethereal. How had he never noticed it before?
“Okay.” You squeezed his fingers lightly. “Can you tell me one thing that you can taste?”
“My…my tea, from this morning. Ran out of oat milk so I had to drink it straight.”
“There we go.” Your expression tightened just slightly at the edges, scanning his own carefully. “Better? Just a little?”
“A bit, yeah.” He sniffled again, swallowing roughly and finally managing to look away. “Sorry about that. You know. For…breakin’ apart in the middle of your shop like that. You…you didn’t have to stop what you were doin’ just to give me a pep talk.”
Your brow furrowed. “Steven, you were having a panic attack. I wasn’t about to go back to sorting the BookTok smut table while you looked on the verge of collapse.” You shook your head slightly, as if in disbelief. “You wouldn’t have come to me for no reason, so I can take ten minutes to help you calm down. I’ve been running around like a headless chicken all morning and I haven’t had enough time to stop. I’ll be fine.” You squeezed his hands again. “I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. I’d fix it if I could.”
Oh, how he wished that you could. He’d let you do anything you wanted if he could just feel normal again.
“Do you want to talk more about it?” you tried gently, tilting your face down to gaze up at him through those utterly enchanting lashes. “It’s okay if you don’t. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, for whatever you need, whether it’s to listen or just to sit with you.”
He swallowed, nodding jerkily. “Yeah, it’s—just complicated, yeah? A lot to take in. I really don’t mean to be a bother, I just needed—”
“Steven Grant, you are not a bother to me.” You single-handedly stole the breath you’d helped him regain not minutes prior. “You can tell me anything, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”
“I…okay.” He drew in a deep, shaky breath, held it, and released it in a hiss from between his chattering teeth. “I’m…investigatin’ somethin’. It might be dangerous, I don’t know. But I’ve got too many questions to avoid it anymore and I…I’m scared. Terrified, really. Everything seems like it’s fallin’ apart and I’m losing grips on it the tighter I try to hold on.” He blinked away another fresh onslaught of tears filming over his eyes with no small amount of frustration. “I feel like it’s my only option, to move forward, you know? I just…wanted to make sure I’m not hallucinatin’ everything around me first.” And that was the reason he’d come here, wasn’t it? Because you never failed to make him feel safe and secure and human, no matter the storm.
You studied him for a long moment, considering. But instead of accusing him of being a loon, you only tipped your chin to seek out his gaze once more—and he, like a moth to flame, was inexorably drawn to it. “Do you want me to go with you?”
The offer took him by surprise, but he knew immediately that it shouldn’t have. You had a protective streak a mile wide—he’d observed it in your fierce defense of your coworkers against irate and lecherous customers alike, as well as the thinly contained fury you’d only had enough strength to withhold in all but your tone when he’d finally vented to you about Donna for the first time. As much as he’d like to see you rip out her cheaply applied extensions one by one until she cried, he had made you promise never to start a fight with her. That you would offer first to accompany him to a destination he’d unthinkingly labeled ‘dangerous’ before anything else, regardless of currently sitting in your workplace that demanded more of you than it ever should any single person, reassured him—but he couldn’t ask you to get involved. He wouldn’t, because it was dangerous—whatever was going on inside his head (and outside of it) was something he was increasingly suspecting was beyond the scope of his present comprehension. The last thing Steven wanted was to get you hurt, too, just by proximity.
“No,” he said firmly, and your brows rose slightly. “No, I don’t—thanks for the offer, I really appreciate it, but you shouldn’t…I don’t want you at risk.”
“I don’t want you at risk, either,” you pointed out softly.
“I…” Well, shit. “...I know. But I’ll be okay. I think. I know! I’m just going to take it real careful and just see, yeah? It’ll…it’ll turn out all right. Right? Yeah.”
Your grip tightened, and your gaze turned sharper than he’d ever seen it, even at your most agitated. Deadly serious, with no room for avoidance—as if he’d ever want to avoid you. “Steven.”
He stiffened. “Y-yeah?”
“If anything happens,” you told him slowly, “I want you to call me, okay?” He opened his mouth to respond, but you interrupted him for the first time in the two months he’d known you. “I mean it. I’m not going to push my way into your business, but if you ever feel like you need help, do not hesitate to tell me. Okay?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he suspired. Why was his mouth dry all of a sudden? When had he started sweating? Was his blush as obvious as it felt?
You regarded him for another moment, scrutinizing his expression—perhaps for any traces of falsehood—before nodding and releasing his hands. You reached into your pocket and drew out your phone. “What’s your number?”
Steven recited it to you nervously, fiddling with the hems of his sleeves. You typed it in, saved it, then sent him a message that buzzed in his back pocket. (He never thought that he’d get your number in a context quite like this .)
The lapse of silence continued, stifling in its weight, until your expression softened once more into something far less grave. “...Do you trust me, Steven?”
The answer came without hesitation. “Of course,” he breathed.
Your eyes were so damned deep, he’d drown in them willingly. “All right. Just know…whatever you need, okay? I’m just a phone call away.” You swallowed, then glanced away for the first time since he’d walked into you. “I don’t like seeing you scared. It scares me. ”
He was about to apologize on reflex, but the words died on his tongue. He noticed that you, too, had started to fidget with your fingers, rolling a wrinkle in your jeans. He reached out and laid his hand over yours, drawing your attention back to him. “Where’d you learn that trick? You know, the one about the five senses?”
“I had really bad anxiety when I was a teenager. Had an acute spell for about six months straight that made me hate sleeping because the thought of waking back up to deal with it all over again the next day kept me up all night. I lost a lot of weight because my stomach stayed upset and I didn’t have an appetite at all—it took a long time to go back to eating normal afterwards because my stomach had shrunk.” You looked so vulnerable, uncomfortable with baring yourself just a little bit more to his sympathetic gaze, but doing it anyway—all for his undeserving benefit. He squeezed your hand, this time. “I did a lot of research at the time to find ways to mitigate it. Figuring out the biological basis of it helped me to rationalize my triggers and responses so I could understand how to manage it better. It’s fight, flight, or freeze at its most dire state—so once I learned that, I was able to talk myself down by convincing myself I was safe.” You traced the roughness of his palm, and a flicker of something passed over your face before he could register it. “That trick isolates stimuli so you can focus.”
“That…that makes sense. I’ll have to remember that one.” He cleared his throat quietly. He hadn’t known—you hadn’t told him any of that before, never had indicated that you’d had such a rough time of your anxiety that you so often made light of in passing. “I’m so sorry you went through that. It sounds horrible.”
“It was. But it taught me to be more aware of how my mind and body work, if nothing else. And despite all the hardships, I never looked for a way out, just…a way through. And I did get through it.” You sat up a little straighter, cleared your throat, and glanced through the bookshelves before you returned your attention to him. “Are you sure you don’t need me to…?”
“I’m not going to ask you to play hookey for me,” he told you, smiling and using what was hopefully a playful tone. It seemed to work, because the tension in your shoulders eased a bit. “I will let you know if I need you.”
“Promise?” you prompted, extending the pinky of your free hand.
“Pinky promise,” he assured, linking his with yours and marveling at how petite you really were, dwarfed by the breadth of him. He’d never really noticed that, before, either. (How had he not?) “I’ll let you know what I find out, yeah? Once I get it all straight in my noggin’.”
You nodded as you both stood and started to weave your way through the labyrinth back to the main area of the bookstore. “I’m holding you to that, Steven Grant. If I don’t hear from you I’ll be putting out a search warrant.”
“I don’t think it’ll be that bad,” he fibbed—just a little, because he hated seeing you worry like this. He’d evidently never really given you good reason to worry about him before, and he felt immeasurably guilty despite the comfort you’d brought him. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Sounds good.” You flashed him a small smile, less enthusiastic than usual. “Now that you’re not working, we could actually eat together since my lunch break’s always later.”
Tentative, as though you didn’t want to send him over the edge again. He appreciated it more than you’d ever know.
“I’ll be here. Just give me about a fifteen minute heads-up so I can make it on time?”
“Will do.” As he approached the exit, you reached out and brushed your fingertips along the blade of his hand, arresting him on the spot. “Steven. Please be careful.” You glanced over at the other clerk with his back turned towards the pair of you, organizing the table you’d abandoned in favor of bringing Steven down from the brink. “I care a lot about you,” you confessed softly. “I don’t ever want to see you get hurt.”
Steven sucked in a sharp, shaky breath, folding his hands over his stomach on reflex. His body sagged and his heart puddled into the pit of his belly. “I care a lot about you, too, love. But you don’t have to worry about me gettin’ hurt—just think about the other guy! I’ll just give them the ol’ Grant one-two!” He shadow boxed to punctuate, and your quiet chuckle soothed his fluttering nerves. He stilled, then, and dropped his arms to his sides awkwardly. “...And thank you. Really. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t…you know. Likely would’ve gone right bonkers, yeah?”
“You’re always welcome, Steven.” You hesitated, fists tightening, before you reached out to grasp his arm lightly, only enough for balance, and Steven’s rattled mind struggled to keep up with your hurried motion and didn’t catch up until after the fact—you leaned into him, all sweet perfume and warm softness, to press a chaste kiss to the dried, tacky tear tracks that would surely leave salt on your lips. You were back down flat on your feet and a full pace away from him by the time his mouth dropped open, and your embarrassment was glaringly obvious. “Take care. For me?”
“Of course, love,” he said softly, watching perplexedly as you nodded, mouth thinning, before you darted around behind a bookcase and out of sight.
Oh. You were shy.
Steven pressed his fingertips to his tingling cheek all the way down the stairs, stumbling a couple of times before he convinced himself to get a grip before he did break his promise and accidentally kill himself not two minutes after the fact. He floated through the coffee shop back onto the street, sinking his back against the wall, and closed his eyes to reclaim his breath.
The first genuine smile of unfettered delight he’d had in what felt like eons wormed onto his face, and Steven let out a dreamy sigh. He shifted, caught a whiff of your perfume, and realized that some of it still lingered on his coat collar. He resisted the sudden urge to bury his nose and to revel in it, clearing his throat and fishing his phone out of his pocket instead to start off his investigation by determining which storage company Marc’s key belonged to.
Your text waited for him, poised under his thumb. ‘Don’t be a stranger, Steven. Laters, gators! :)’
His cheeks ached with the widest smile he’d had in his life.
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When the plane from Cairo landed at its destination in London’s biggest airport close at nine-thirty, well past dark, approximately two weeks later, Steven finds that he has never felt so tired in his (admittedly limited waking) life—even during the time of depriving himself of sleep in an effort to control his supposed ‘sleeping’ disorder. He’d…dozed, he supposed was the only way he could describe it, while Marc had fronted during the flight. Leaving Layla in Cairo had been hard on him (both of them, really), so Marc had needed some quiet time to himself.
Steven couldn’t quite find it in himself to blame him in the slightest.
 Marc and Layla had finally squared things away after Khonshu had finally released them—both Harrow and…their relationship. While Layla finally understood Marc’s motivations for all his blunders (and him personally, more clearly than she ever had in their married life, sad as it was to say), they both agreed that it would be for the best to go ahead and part ways. Too much damage had been done, the foundations of their relationship fractured by all the secrets and half-truths Marc had kept, and he had shattered her trust with his noncommunication.
She did make it explicitly clear that the entire ordeal in no way stopped her from caring about him (and now Steven, she made sure to add), however—Marc’s relief had been palpable, even while Steven had kept quiet and to himself listening to them discuss everything in the dingy motel room they’d shared the previous night before he’d departed. They mutually agreed to keep in touch, because while Marc had freed himself (and therefore Steven) of Khonshu’s servitude, Layla was still working with Tawaret as her Red Scarab. Hurt though he was (with mostly himself to blame, he’d admitted), Marc was protective more than anything—and though Tawaret had wormed her way past his initial suspicions with her sincere desire and success in helping them crawl their way out of the Duat, historically he didn’t exactly have a healthy relationship with Ancient Egyptian deities.
He hadn’t spoken much to Steven since then, but Steven was okay with that. Marc was a man of few words, he’d learned, and Steven suspected that it was best to give him space—regardless of when (or if) he ever decided to talk about it. Steven would be there for him either way (figuratively and literally). He’d need to make sure to remind him of that fact when they were both a bit better rested and recovered from the world-ending battle that they had managed to win by the skin of their teeth.
Steven hadn’t had the pleasure of knowing  Layla very long—and while perhaps some of his initial attraction to her could have been attributed to him inheriting at least some of Marc’s own memories, feelings, and familiarity via sharing the body, Steven was grateful that they could remain friends, at least—it spoke lengths of how close she and Marc truly had been, for her to still be willing to stay in contact despite everything that had happened. She’d made sure to send them both off with a tight, rocking hug for each of them, pressing a tender kiss to either cheek as they had seamlessly traded places per her request without so much as a shudder.
“Take care of him, okay, Steven? And you stay safe, too,” she’d murmured into his ear, her mirth belied by her melancholy. She’d paused, then reached up to adjust the lapels of Marc’s jacket lying crooked across his clavicle. “I trust you to do what I couldn’t.”
“I’ll certainly try my best,” he’d returned with a timid smile as she’d drawn away with sparkling eyes not only from fondness. He’d tried to ignore the stinging in his as he’d cleared his throat of the quiver that had threatened to creep into the back of his throat. “He’s a bit of a git when it comes to lookin’ after himself, yeah? But I’m kind of stuck with him, so…good to try to make the best of it, you know.”
“Thank you.” She’d seemed earnest in her gratitude, then, easing back another half-step. “For helping us. I owe you more than I fear I could ever fully repay.”
“You don’t owe me a thing,” he’d returned easily. He liked Layla—perhaps, in another life, he could have loved her, too, if things had turned out different, or if Marc had given him the opportunity. Marc’s envious accusations at the dig sight hadn’t hit quite so close to home as to ever confirm such feelings in himself—she was still virtually a stranger, in spite of him fearing for her life and trusting her with his without hesitation—so while he ached to see things between her and Marc end like they had, all he could focus on was that he was thankful they’d had the opportunity to meet. “You take care of yourself, too, all right? Don’t get into too much trouble kickin’ tail and takin’ names.”
She’d let out a wet laugh at that, not-so-subtly swiping at her eyes. “I will, Steven,” she’d said, and then Marc had taken over.
Until now, anyway.
Steven understood completely why Marc needed some time to himself after all that—perhaps better than anyone. It was why he was extremely grateful that, once all the process of checking out and fetching luggage was done, Marc receded in silence to the back of their shared headspace and left Steven standing at the front entrance of the airport with a flagged cab waiting expectantly for him on the drive below.
He hefted Marc’s duffel a little higher on his shoulder, curling his hands around the strap, and descended the steps quickly. He settled into the back seat, wrinkling his nose a bit at the faint but pungent scents of sweat, alcohol, and puke lingering there.
“Where to, mate?” asked the cab driver, sounding as bored as Steven would admittedly be if he had to drive people dead on their feet home in such dreary weather as this—it had stopped raining, thankfully, but mist still hung in the air and puddles littered the ground, causing any nearby lights to glisten and glitter off the wet surfaces.
Steven hesitated.
He…hadn’t really thought this far ahead, admittedly. He realized with a start that he hadn’t been home since Harrow’s cop friends…lackies… whatever had snatched him under the guise of a real investigation and arrest. It was probably a mess after they had ransacked it. It would be a miracle if not-Gus was still alive. He’d be lucky if none of his nosy neighbors had broken in to pilfer his things.
Steven fiddled with the strap pensively, evidently taking too long for the cabbie’s thinning patience. “Hear me, mate? Where do you need to go?”
It was almost instinct, the way that the coffee shop’s address spilled from his lips with some embarrassment—embedded into his memory since he’d ordered rides there on his days off. The cabbie flicked on the meter and took off once he’d entered it into his phone, and Steven tried to suppress his flustered response at agitating the man because what harm had he caused by waiting a moment longer than what was considered punchy? Nothing. It wasn’t Steven’s fault that the man was irritable. (What cabbie worth his salt relied on Google Maps, anyway? But then again, what cabbie worth his salt couldn’t be bothered to order a deep enough clean after toting about what must have been the cataclysmic aftermath of one hell of a stag party?)
Seeing and doing everything he had in Egypt had given Steven a slightly different outlook both about people in general as well as himself. People were, mostly, harmless—unless they were trying to resurrect and put into power an entombed goddess of destruction, anyway—so what difference did it make that Steven existed in the same place and time as them? It didn’t give them the excuse to be rude or dismissive or critical. Plus…while they’d given up that fancy healing armor (and that rather snazzy suit, unfortunately), Steven could still defend himself if need be. He had access to Marc’s muscle memory now that no more barriers stood between their psyches—he’d held his own against Arthur bleedin’ Harrow quite well, if he did say so himself, thank you very much. He’d still have to get used to the motions, sure, but…never before had he felt more capable and assured in his own abilities. He had Marc to thank for that.
Even still, as he steadied his breathing and calmed his heart, Steven frowned and directed his gaze out of the window to focus on the streets rolling by outside. The coffee shop didn’t close until ten, and you usually didn’t make it out while locking up until ten-fifteen. But because Marc had left Steven’s phone in London (in his storage locker while getting supplies, Steven suspected), Steven had been unable to contact you at all. Given the domino's effects following him leaving the coffee shop in pursuit of Marc’s unit, he hadn’t had time enough to memorize your number (and believe him, under any other circumstances, he would have done so as soon as he would have had the chance). He’d promised you lunch the next day, as well as to check in to let you know he was all right, but by the time Steven had woken back up post-jackal boxing extravaganza, he’d had to deal with Marc’s…less than ideal interrogation techniques.
Things only had…devolved from there. Steven really and truly didn’t care to give any of it much more thought—not until later, when he could see clearly without his eyelids drifting shut.
Steven wrung the hem of the jacket’s sleeves between his fingers, worrying the inside of his cheek while he did so. Even throughout…all of that…Steven had found his thoughts straying inevitably—gravitized, perhaps—back to you, over and over, no matter how hard he’d tried to concentrate on…well, you know, saving the world. Even when he’d been distracted, and terrified, and fighting for his life, he’d recalled snippets of memory so visceral he’d glanced over his shoulder more than once to make sure he was just imagining things.
Your features drenched in sunlight like a goddess in your own right. Your eyes glittering as you tittered in genuine mirth at once his silly little jokes he cringed over every time he departed from your reassuring company. Your smile warming him inside as much as your meticulously brewed teas did going down. Your lilted, soothing drawl, the shape your mouth formed as you’d snowball into a lecture on how ridiculous all the internet conspiracies about aliens building the pyramids because the Egyptians were too primitive to accomplish such feats but the Romans were esteemed geniuses of their time with all their architectural novelties, the unfettered passion that brought such vivacity to your normally demure, soft-spoken demeanor.
He had missed you. Terribly so. More than he would’ve expected, but he was unsurprised.
You’d no doubt have loved to have seen Egypt with your own eyes—you’d confessed your daydreams about it to Steven on a couple of different occasions, had told him how long you’d wanted to take a vacation there to visit all the sights and witness them for yourself. You’d shared, mortified and only after some gentle prodding on his part, that you’d even constructed an itinerary, once, complete with hypothetical flight times, prices, and locations, hotel reservations and rates, eateries recommended by locals, starting from the delta and traversing all the way up to Abu Simbel, as well as every notable tomb, temple, and archaeological site or tourist spot in between. “Maybe one day,” you’d said, so wistfully yet despondently that he’d wanted for nothing more in that moment than to sweep you up and take you there himself.
At the time, he had pictured your reactions to Cairo, Giza, and Alexander the Great’s no-longer-lost tomb with perfect clarity—your excitement would have known no bounds. You would have stopped to inspect and decipher each artifact and inscription if you’d had time enough to do so, ecstatic at the chance to lay your hands on such marvels (respectfully, of that Steven had no doubts). Steven would never have wanted you involved in such close and constant proximity to danger, but he’d still imagined it for his own sanity. You’d been his lifeline, in a way—even with his fleeting, misplaced infatuation with Layla—the thought of not making it back to London, back to you, was what had kept him going at the most harrowing of points.
As partial as you were to the mythology, you’d have been beside yourself to discover that the deities so long thought fabled—for better or for worse—were as real as anything else in this odd little home humanity called Earth. He’d sooner throw himself back into the ravenous sands of the Duat than have you anywhere near that bloodthirsty pigeon, but then again Tawaret had been an angel by comparison, so…maybe you interacting with her wouldn’t have been too bad.
You were his first recurring thought whenever he’d wake (whether he had emerged to the front or from slumber), and you’d been his last thought when Harrow had shot Marc—panicked, screaming, terrified knowing he’d failed to keep his word. When Khonshu had forced the breath back into their lungs, Steven had nevermore felt such relief at proving himself wrong.
He’d convinced Marc to loan him a little spending money, after all was said and done, and had visited a secluded marketplace to browse the vendors’ wares. He’d found a little statuette of Djehuty hand-carved from lapis lazuli, about as long and as wide as his index finger, and while the merchant’s asking price had been outrageous (and because Steven had no talent for haggling, try as he might), Marc hadn’t scolded him too badly for shelling out the questionable stack of bills. It wouldn’t go far in the way of a peace offering, perhaps, but he could use it as some sort of proof if things didn’t go over well.
You weren’t naturally a skeptical person, though, he reminded himself. You had taken him at his word during his mental breakdown without even batting an eye. You valued honesty and communication above all else, prided yourself on your integrity, and Steven knew that you would at least hear him out and consider his (rather implausible) story before you rejected it.
Maybe he could still salvage this. Maybe he wouldn’t have to give Marc one more reason to blame himself for something he’d claim that he ruined. You were a reasonable woman, driven by logic and intuition rather than emotion and feelings. Steven had always admired you for that, for your tendency to avoid taking sides, to play devil’s advocate, to balance and weigh all options, thoughts, facts, and opinions before daring to formulate your own.
A keen little set of scales you were, weren’t you? Yeah. If only you’d have been there, somehow, to help sort out his and Marc’s mess—it likely would have gone a lot smoother and faster. (Maybe they would have actually managed to balance before it had almost been too late.)
“Most everything down this way is closed for the night—you sure you want me to let you off here? Or would you rather me take you someplace else?” groused the cabbie as he eased to a stop on the street corner (because of course—why would any cabbie worth his salt take a man to his requested destination only to offer a longer drive if but to rack up a higher meter?)
Despite Steven’s increasing indignation (he was firmly placing the blame on his and Marc’s shared jet lag because he was just so tired and he would never normally get so irate by a man doing his job, no matter how lazily), he hesitated. Only the security lights were visible through the sheer blinds drawn over the windows to conceal the interior, and he couldn’t make out your shape at the till or anywhere else, for that matter.
Perhaps it had been wishful thinking to hope you’d still be there, or even on the shift for tonight at all. You’d probably worried yourself to death fretting about his sudden silence—no, scratch that, you definitely had fretted. Was he going to have to call the nearest police station to have them take down a missing persons report? Had you even filed one like you’d threatened to? Or had he inadvertently hurt you by what could in any other conceivable circumstance be taken as ghosting to the point that you no longer cared for his well-being?
The thought made his heart clench. It ached more than he might have been readily willing to admit. Oh, he had gone and messed things up royally, hadn’t he? The one person who’d actually treated him like a person (outside of Marc and Layla, of course) could very well hate his guts now. It sickened him, almost made him want to lock himself away in his flat and curl up under his duvet and hide for the rest of eternity.
But he couldn’t. Not on the off-chance you had recalled his concerns, had believed his worries, and still thought him innocent in the matter. Not if you were still waiting for him.
“What’ll it be, mate?” drolled the cabbie, muffled by a gargantuan yawn he didn’t bother to stifle. “I’d rather not sit here all night, you know.”
“N-no—I’ll stop here, thanks.” Steven patted through Marc’s pockets until he found his wallet, then rifled through the neatly organized mixture of bills until he found English currency as opposed to Egyptian—with enough for a decent tip, because Steven always tried not to be a knob. “You seem like you’re workin’ on fumes, mate, you ought to go home and get some sleep.”
“Sleeping’s for the dead,” he deadpanned, and Steven let out a breathless little chuckle as he shuffled out of the cab onto the curb and watched it round the corner and out of sight.
If only he knew.
The air was warmer than before Steven had been carted off to another continent, a bit muggy as the humidity settled like cobwebs in his lungs. He grimaced and unzipped the jacket, edging closer to the windows to squint inside properly.
Still no signs of life. Steven rested his fingertips on the dribbled glass, dropping his head. Marc still had the storage key in the bag, somewhere—he supposed that he could try going and getting his phone, but that would run the risk of the business not being open at all hours and require that much more time to charge the blasted thing back from the brink. Perhaps he’d be better off to wait until the next morning to try to sort his life back out—he wouldn’t be able to stand staying on his feet for much longer.
“ ...Steven? ”
He stiffened, straightened in an instant, and turned to see you standing at the corner, keys still dangling from your fingers after locking up and coming around the back. An impulsive glance at Marc’s watch told him that you’d finished up early—it was ten on the dot. Your expression, bleached by the cold ivory streetlamp looming over your head, was slack in disbelief.
Steven—despite having rehearsed over the last two weeks what he could possibly say to explain himself, to apologize for his abrupt absence and radio silence, to entreat you to at least hear him plead his case, to beg for your forgiveness and to seek it by any means necessary just so he could talk to you again—fell terribly short of his expectations as the moment came…and went.
His greatest shortcoming, that: his seemingly endless supply of words failing him when he needed them most dire.
“...Hiya,” he said meekly, raising his hand in a shameful little wave—then groaned internally and resisted the overwhelming urge to bury his face in his hands and pull at his hair in frustration.
Real chuffed she’ll be with a response like that, ol’ chap. Bollocks. I’m an utter pillock, aren’t I?
“S-sorry,” he floundered, face burning as you continued to stare at him with rounded eyes and a gaping mouth. You looked caught between fight or flight but trapped in freeze mode, every muscle in your body rigid as though the sight of him reviled you. His heart twisted, but he couldn’t find it in himself to blame you. He’d be right pissed at himself, too. “It’s…been a bit much, the time I’ve had. I’m proper exhausted after that trip. Not that, uh…not that it’s any excuse, yeah? I’m just having a bit of a hard time not fallin’ asleep on my fee— oof! ”
You’d moved before he could even track the motion. Had he looked away or dropped his head and closed his eyes out of humiliation? Had he almost blacked out again even though Marc made no sign of himself known? Or was he just that tired and you were that fast on your feet? (Of course you were nimble, juggling books and drinks all day long at a breakneck pace. Why would he ever have thought otherwise?)
He supposed it didn’t matter in the end, really, because your arms were coiled around his neck to drag him down closer to your height, your face was buried into his (no doubt grimy) neck, and your hands were trembling as they gripped his nape and threaded into his matted, oily curls as though your life depended upon it. Your breaths were muffled and warm against his throat, as were the tears that smeared against his thundering pulse, and it took Steven an embarrassingly long time to come to his senses and return your vice-like embrace with his own shaking arms.
“You scared the shit out of me, Steven,” you sniffled into his collar like a secret, voice tight and hushed with the ferocity of your feeling. “I thought I’d lost you.”
Steven swallowed roughly, throat tightening and eyes filming over with the familiar hot sting he’d been doing his damnedest to hold down until he’d returned to the safety of his home—but he supposed that he already had, so what was the point in resisting anymore?
“I thought I’d lost me, too, love,” he whispered raggedly, his tenuous resolve crumbling like sandstone as he buried his face in your hair and crushed you against his chest as tightly as your clothes allowed. His tears finally slipped free of his eyes as he squeezed them closed in an effort to shut out the world around him. He could feel your heart hammering against his chest even through all his layers, your earthy perfume saturating his lungs, your inherent warmth seeping into him so like the sunshine you epitomized in his mind. You didn’t give any inclination of letting him go anytime soon, and he had no such intention, either. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you murmured, voice cracking with the strain of keeping yourself in check, pulling your head back just enough to peer up at him with a warbling smile. The hand on his neck slipped around to cup his cheek in your palm, thumbing away the wet streaks trailing towards his chin. Your eyes darted over his features, scrutinizing, as though you were committing the sight to memory—as though assuring yourself that he was really real, really there, really corporeal and not an apparition. “God, darlin’, don’t be sorry, I’m just—I’m just glad you’re okay. Are you safe? Are you hurt? Are you still in danger?” You mirrored your own touch with your free hand, cradling his head as though you held the entire world between your fingers, stroking the corners of his mouth in reverent reassurance. “Where have you been? I tried looking, asking around the museum, but nobody knew where you’d disappeared, and I—I thought—” You let out a sob from between gritted teeth, quivering despite his desperate grip on your upper and lower back. “—I feared the worst, after what you said the last time I saw you, and I tried talking to the police, but they thought I was crazy, and…I’ve nearly worried myself to death wondering where you’d gone.”
Nailed it. Unfortunately. Steven let out a watery laugh, biting his lip briefly before tugging you back under his chin so you wouldn’t see the conflicted emotions fighting for prominence on the limited canvas space of his face. “Oh, love, I’ve been to hell and back,” he joked quietly (one you wouldn’t get, not yet, and one he didn’t particularly care to explain), rocking you from side to side and anchoring himself with the weight of your body against his. “But I never stopped thinking about—about coming back. To you. Not once.”
Your arms slipped under his to squeeze him tight, slowly but surely soaking his shirt with your relief. Steven was uncertain how long the pair of you stood like that, getting progressively more damp from the mist and more chilled from the cooling breeze, and finally he withdrew enough to tenderly pat your cheeks dry with the hem of his sleeve. You laughed a little at that, a frail but joyous little sound, and Steven could hardly contain himself—but you beat him to it.
“You look exhausted, darlin’,” you said softly, face pinching a little as you took in his drawn features. He was sure Marc had sat up through the whole flight, as antsy as he was—the body hadn’t gotten sufficient enough rest in so long Steven was surprised neither of them had yet to collapse. The deep purple semicircles marring the heavy undersides of his eyes were sure to be sights to behold. You traced his brow, temple, and cheekbone with a featherlight touch of your fingertips. “You said you just got back?”
“Yeah,” he responded, eyes fluttering shut at your gentleness with a long sigh. “I wanted…I needed to see you. To let you know I made it back, and that I didn’t mean to shut you out, and…to tell you what happened.”
“Are you sure you’re up for it?” you pressed carefully. “You’ve obviously been stressed about it. You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable talking about.”
“I want you to know. It’s…it’s important. To me.” He cracked his eye back open, taking in the minutiae of your features, too—you seemed just as bad off as he was. “But I don’t want to be a bother.”
You gave him a sharp look, and your last reaction to a similar statement he’d made rang clear in the back of his mind without you even having to echo your response.
“You just seem tired, too, is all,” he said. “Didn’t want to keep you up any later.”
“I’ll stay up all night if you asked me to,” you told him firmly. “Whatever you need. I meant what I said.”
‘I’m here for you.’
“I…could I ask one teensy favor?” he started, hating how small his voice sounded. “Just this once?”
You quirked an inquisitive brow.
“I…don’t really want to sleep by myself tonight,” he admitted sheepishly. “My place got broken into and…I’m not sure what it’ll look like when I go back there. I…I don’t want to be alone. Could I…?”
“Of course,” you said immediately, already reaching down and grasping his wrist. “You look like you could use a good meal, too—I’ve got some leftover minestrone that I could heat up for you. It doesn’t have any animal products in it.”
Oh, he could kiss you.
“I don’t mean to impose,” he prefaced, “but…that honestly sounds heavenly.”
“You’re not imposing. Come on. The bus will be making its stop soon—don’t want to miss it in case the rain starts up again.”
Steven allowed you to lead him along the street, perfectly content to allow you to guide him. The longer he went, the more difficult it was to stay focused. The late bus, one he’d usually been forced to catch when Donna had thrust him into inventory duty, was virtually empty save a couple of other night workers having finished up their shifts. You settled Steven near the back, setting him against the window and perching yourself in the aisle seat with a watchful eye directed towards the other passengers.
Steven found himself nodding off, forehead pressed heavily into the window, when your fingers tugged his wrist lightly. “Hey. Here, lean on me—I don’t want you to get a crick in your neck.”
Hardly conscious of it, Steven allowed you to direct with a cupped hand his temple to rest on your shoulder, sinking listlessly into your side. The press of your warm palm on his cheek remained as you murmured something he didn’t quite catch, too drowsy to recall anything afterwards besides the sweet scent of chai on your breath.
You roused him at the correct stop, and he managed to keep his wits about himself long enough to take in the new, unfamiliar surroundings. The university campus loomed on the other side of the highway, impressive in its splendor, and your flat was located in a nice but affordable gated complex that he suspected you’d chosen for convenience and security rather than luxury. Multiple other residences lined this side of the road, likely housing the majority of students.
“I’m on the top floor, but luckily they have elevators,” you murmured to him as you used your key card to buzz through the gate and unlock the side door to the main corridor. You led him through the place, let him lean against you while the mechanisms’ hum lulled him, and the first thing you did upon letting him into your apartment was have him sit on the loveseat. “Give me your feet.”
“Oh, don’t—you don’t have to do that,” he protested, even as you kneeled on the carpet and pulled one dusty boot up onto your knee to untie the laces. “Please, I couldn’t ask you to—”
“You’re not asking, I’m doing,” you responded mildly. “Steven, you’re a blink too long away from going comatose—just let me take care of you, okay?” Your lips thinned for a moment, conflicted, before you dropped your gaze to your fingerwork before tugging the heavy shoe free and setting it to the side and reaching for his other foot. “I missed you. Let me do this, please.”
He had precious little will to argue, lesser so to refuse any sort of doting you might decide to bestow upon him. Steven Grant was many things, and a weak man was one of them. “I…all right,” he said softly.
“Good boy.” You patted the side of his leg with a wry little smirk that did funny things to his blood pressure, removing the other shoe, and leaving it with its twin. You stood, knees cracking, and made a placating gesture. “Wait here, I’ll be back in five.”
“All right,” he repeated sleepily because he couldn’t help it—his eyes were already falling shut again. He became dimly aware of an added weight draped over him, but it wasn’t until you came back and sank into the cushion next to him that he jerked back awake and realized you’d pulled the heavy knit blanket off the back of the couch over him.
“Here,” you said, pressing a large mug into his hands. “I know microwaved leftovers aren't as good, but I’ll be lucky to get you to down anything before you pass out on me. Again.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled, drawing up a spoonful and blowing the steam off it. It smelled divine, and his stomach pinched and growled as though it, too, had wrenched itself awake.
“Stop apologizing,” you said, eyes twinkling. “It’s kind of cute.”
“Only kind of?” he tried, slipping the spoon into his mouth. A salty medley of flavors bloomed over his tongue and Steven was convinced he’d been sent to Aaru after all. “Oh…you never told me you were a king’s cook,” he mumbled.
“I am a bit proud of my cooking,” you chuckled. “I had…tweaked that recipe, to see if you’d like it, actually. I just so happened to have made it last night.” You glanced off to the side, briefly, towards the floor-to-ceiling window that lined the far wall and displayed the heart of London in all its twinkling glory. “Good timing, I guess.”
Steven ate as much as his waning patience could stand before propping the mug between his knees and tentatively resting a hand on yours draped over your thigh. You looked back to him immediately, the only light in the room spilling off to the side from the kitchen and casting all but the curve of your face in shadow. “There’s too much to explain in one night,” he began with a sigh, “and, honestly, it’ll probably take me a bit to work up to some of the…worse stuff. But I did want to tell you what I figured out about my sleeping disorder.”
“All right.” You shifted and contorted to face him completely, folding your legs crossed under you and lacing your fingers with his. “Did you get an official diagnosis, or…?”
He tried to ignore that in favor of staying undistracted. (It didn’t work very well, and he squeezed your hand back.) “Well. Sort of.” He recalled the certainty with which had (sparingly) detailed their ‘insanity’, the clarity with which the Duat had conformed to Marc’s self-perception as an institutionalized patient in an asylum. “It’s not a sleeping disorder.”
“Okay,” you responded encouragingly, expression neutral.
“I have…well. We have…” He sighed, ducked his head, and scratched at his hairline. “...Have you ever heard of Dissociative Identity Disorder?”
“I took a psychology class back home, yeah.” You frowned slightly. “What, like…Multiple Personality Disorder?”
“Yes.” Steven’s eyes were drawn to your hand, and he turned it over to inspect the lines of your palm with his blunt, callused fingertips (no longer a mystery why they stayed in such rough shape, he mused). “I’m, uh…well…it’s harder to…to say out loud, I guess.” He faltered, then, eyes flashing up to beseech your understanding. “I want you to know that we’ve worked things out as much as we could, so it’s a lot better than it was, but we’ve still got a ways to go, I think. Just—just know that we’re sound of mind, and neither of us would ever, ever hurt you.”
“Steven,” you said gently, realization slowly dawning in your softening gaze, “I never once had doubts about that.”
“I…good. That’s good.” He swallowed. He’d seen the stereotypes in popular media just like everyone else ever had, and while Marc had indeed hurt people, his remorse told Steven just how little he’d enjoyed it (that being none). “Okay. So…there’s this little American man that…lives inside my head, I guess. Marc Spector. Bit of a twit when you first meet him, but he’s not a half-bad bloke once you get to know him.”
Steven paused, waiting for a biting remark from the nearest reflective surface—but your offlined television remained passive. He let out a breath of relief.
Your expectant, patient silence spurred him on. “That’s what I thought, anyway—that he lived inside my head, that is. Just started poppin’ up out of nowhere, tryin’ to scare me off of figurin’ everythin’ out. Didn’t realize ‘til later that he was just tryin’ to protect me and being a real sorry arse about it.” Steven pressed the flat of his thumb into the crease of your palm, feeling your steady, calmed pulse thudding against his skin. “Turns out…I’m the one living inside his head.”
Your brow furrowed slightly, but you didn’t interrupt him.
“He had a rough childhood,” Steven continued, voice carrying over into a rush, “lost his li’l brother. His mum blamed him for it…did some things she shouldn’t have. Marc…developed an alter based on a fictional character from his favorite movie.” He let out a shaky sigh, dropping his chin to his sternum. “Doctor Steven Grant, debonair, world-traveled archaeologist extraordinaire.” He cleared his throat, voice lowering. “I think I may have fallen a bit short of his expectations.”
He had only learned the terminology in the snippets of time Marc let him front while he and Layla were still organizing things in Cairo, looking up articles to learn more about their shared mindscape.
“I…remember our childhood,” he said, much more quietly, “but not any of the bad parts. He let me keep all the good memories. I never remembered Mum except on the good days. Learning all this…was really hard. I never thought…I knew I had gaps in my memory, but I didn’t think…I never figured it out until the wall between us got broken down.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “When…when Mum died. I didn’t know. Marc couldn’t control it anymore, and…things happened. He moved to London, got me all set up with the flat and the job at the museum, and he was finishing things up so he could…I don’t know, fall to the wayside and not come out anymore? I’m not really sure how that works…if it would even work, like that.”
He didn’t dare look up at your expression. You’d fallen completely still and eerily quiet.
“So…yeah.” He was whispering by now. “I guess that makes me the fake identity.”
“Steven Grant,” you interjected, voice low and calm, “there is nothing about you that’s fake. I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that again.”
He gulped, peeking up at your resolute expression. “Yes, ma’am,” he croaked.
“You’re the most vibrant, thoughtful, selfless person I’ve ever met,” you said, gripping his hand so tightly he felt your pulse in each of your fingertips—he wouldn’t be surprised if your prints melded with his. “You have filled my life with more joy than I’ve felt in years. I give thanks almost every day that I had the privilege to have met you at a time when I needed you most.” You leaned in closer, eyes sparkling like the stars faintly visible on the horizon beyond your balcony. “For whatever reason that Marc Spector may have created you, he did a damn good job of it. You embody every positive trait anyone could ever hope to have. You are undoubtedly one of the best men I’ve proudly called my friend. And whatever you went through, with him or without, I have no doubt in my mind that you are integral to him, a part of him he idealizes. Even if you’re an alter, not the original owner of this body,” with this, you tapped his shoulder with your free hand, “you are just as important and just as precious to me for it.”
Steven thought he had cried enough, but his eyes betrayed him yet again. Only a couple of tears slipped free before you were smearing them away, steadfast in your presence, knees pressed into the outside of his thigh. He sank into your touch, shutting his eyes in relief.
“You can tell me as much or as little about the rest of it as you want,” you murmured. “And I apologize in advance for anything that I may accidentally say or do out of ignorance—but I promise you, Steven Grant, I will stay by your side as long as you’ll have me. No matter what.”
“Even though I’ve turned out a little crazier than you may have expected?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood with such a feeble attempt at a joke—but the words came out a little bleaker than he had intended.
“You’re not crazy,” you stated, “you’re a survivor. Both of you. And I am so very grateful that you survived.”
Steven did not remember falling asleep after that. He did not remember you taking the mug back to the kitchen and turning the lights out. He did not remember you leveraging him longwise across your loveseat, a couple feet two short for him had he not already been curled up, piling multiple blankets over his lanky form and carefully slipping a pillow from your bed under his head. He did not remember you tenderly combing his unkempt curls off his forehead, gazing at him with love brimming in your eyes, and laying a lingering kiss between his brows.
He did, however, remember in perfect detail the sight of you slumped over in your recliner, facing him, wreathed in the most beautiful golden sunrise he’d ever seen in his life.
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Not Your Classic Vigilante [Ch. 13]
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Alternate Dimension AU TW: Language, Light Alcohol, Attempted Kidnapping, CW: OC Use, See the OC Guide [Here] Genre: Drama, Action, Angst, Light Comedy Pairing: Batfamily & Batsis!Reader, OC x Reader YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 8.8K
(13/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next] [DC Masterlist] | [Not Your Classic Vigilante Masterlist]
Notes: IT'S FINALLY DONEEEE this is crazy how many chapters have I updated this year? LMFAO Not fully proofread by my awakened mind yet but I did run it through grammarly lol I'll give it a proper look later
Disclaimer: This series is originally by @fandom-meanderer who is a close friend of mine, but she has since fallen out of her Tumblr days and asked me to finish a few series for her, hence why I am now in ownership of the Not Your Classic Vigilante series, I hope I can still live up to her writing as I rewrite this series! (I promise not to change too much, hehe)
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2012
Things were different. Lonelier. And maybe a bit sadder. You stood in front of the room that now loomed over you, and you took a deep breath to steady your nerves. You opened it, the door slamming against the wall with a loud bang, and you waited, you waited for the usual ‘Get out of my room!’ But none came. And there hasn’t been one for months now. You walked inside, still a mess and untouched as it was the night before he left, and you sat in the middle of it, hugging your legs close to your chest.
“There’s another party downstairs,” you said out loud. “I was thinking I should go for a walk, should I?” You wondered aloud. No answer. No 'Wait for me,' no 'ask Dick to go with you.' Just silence. You just wanted a quiet place to escape the noise, what with the gala going on downstairs and your father acting in front of the masses, you just didn’t feel up to it. Besides, Dick wasn’t even there to keep you company this time. You sat in the silence for a while, looking around the room as if he was hiding somewhere and was about to jump out to scare you. But no surprises came. Instead, you got up, took one of the dusty books from the shelf, and left the room.
“Oh, hey!” A younger boy stood in front of you, he looked vaguely familiar. “Could I ask you a quick question?” 
“Yeah, the party’s just downstairs, walk down the corridor and you’ll hit the ballroom eventually,” you answered.
“No, it’s something else,” he shakes his head.
“Ah, the bathroom is also downstairs right next to the ballroom,” you cut him off and turned to walk into your room.
“(Y/N) Wayne. I know who your father is, we need to talk.” That got your attention. You stopped with your hand on the doorknob and sighed.
“Right, he’s a businessman, nothing else,” you nodded. But the boy’s face remained grim. “Let’s go somewhere private,” you nudged your head further down the hall and he followed. Once you were both situated in a secluded part of the mansion, he spoke up.
“I’m Tim Drake,” he introduces himself. You shook his hand. Tim Drake, a couple years your junior, you've seen him around in your family's galas before but you've never really talked to him, you were always more preoccupied with your brothers or too busy taking pictures to go up to the boy who tended to stay on the sidelines more.
“I know.” Now you remembered him, he’d gone to a few of your father’s galas before.
“Oh, cool, I was worried for a second, we didn’t usually talk much,” he says, “you were always with two older guys.”
“My brothers.”
“I know that,” Tim shrugs. “I tracked you down because I had a favor to ask you,” he says.
“Sure,” you agreed only as a formality. The Waynes and the Drakes were somewhat of friends. Tim glanced around.
“Batman needs a Robin,” he says quietly. You wondered how he figured it out. There was no point in hiding anything either, he must have been really smart to have figured out your identities, even people who worked right next to your dad couldn’t have deduced it. “Don’t try to deny it, I have pictures,” he says. You shook your head.
“If you’re asking me then that means that Dick said no, huh?”
“Right away,” Tim mutters.
“I can’t give you an answer,” you told him. But Tim’s eyes seemed to shine, as if he’d found a treasure he’d been looking for. Why he was so desperate, you didn’t know. “Well, either way, you figured them out, I’m sure you can think of something too just in case,” you replied bluntly. 
“Thank you, (Y/N),” he says. “Even just thinking about it is enough.”
“Why do you feel like you should do this, though?” You asked him.
“I…” Tim hesitated. “I’m sure you know as well as I do the kind of rampage Batman has been on in the city.” You were. Recently, you were certain, that your father and the one behind the mask are two different people now.
“And you think having a Robin would help him?” You muttered. 
“Yes, I do, and who better than his own daughter?” He asks. You looked away and toward your clasped hands.
“You may be asking the wrong person, Tim, I have no qualifications to be a Robin,” you say.
“Better you than none,” Tim insists.
“I could never do what they did,” you shut your eyes. “The Batman... he scares me,” you mumbled, clutching onto the book in your arms a little tighter now.
“I’m sorry,” Tim says. You held your hand up to stop him. 
“I’m sorry too, Tim, this isn’t a good time,” you shook your head, stood up, and you left. You admired Tim’s good intentions, truly, but they paled in comparison to the thoughts that ran rampant in your mind right now. You just lost a brother. Your father didn’t want to listen to you. Your other brother was nowhere to be found, and that left you to mull all this over. 
You felt lost.
Lost in your thoughts, and all alone. This was the first time, the first in a long time, where you once again felt alienated in this manor. Not a vigilante and barely a Wayne, was donning the Robin mantle what you needed to do to be seen again?
You didn’t know.
~
2022
The three brothers climbed onto the train after Damian pulled an insignia out of his pocket. 
“The Captain sends her regards,” Damian says to the guards. They salute and march away after leading them to a private cabin, one that Damian shut and locked as soon as the other two were situated.
“Alright, Damian, you first,” Tim invites him. Damian nods.
“After that man teleported me here, I woke up on a battlefield, it was… very different than the ones we’ve seen before,” he says. “Everything in this world is different from ours, laws, people, everything,” he says. “I don’t even know where to start for you two. I’ve been here for almost two months now and I’m still learning things.”
“Two months?!” Tim shouts. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah?”
“Damian, you went missing two weeks ago,” Jason corrects.
“Weeks? No, no, I’ve been here for a while now,” Damian shakes his head. Tim pulls out the remains of the watch. “Where did you get that?”
“(Y/N) left it behind before she left,” Tim mumbles.
“This is it. This is the watch that the stranger had too,” Damian takes the watch and opens it.
“So this is the culprit then,” Tim looks down at it. “Maybe we could reverse it somehow to get home.”
“Not in this state, it won’t,” Damian shuts the watch in his hands and places it in his pocket. “I’ve been trying to do my own investigation, but without the watch and with the constant surveillance I’ve been drawing blanks.” 
“Superveillance?” Tim, always the skeptic.
“To avoid any unnecessary complications, I had to hide in plain sight, but that greatly restricted my movements,” Damian grumbles. “Now you two, how did you figure it out?”
“We were tugging it around, and somehow it activated the mechanism inside of it,” Tim explains.
“Before I was transported, the man swang it back and forth, maybe moving the watch is key to activating it,” Damian hypothesizes.
“Movement of some kind, but it has to be precise, otherwise you’d be teleporting everywhere with every step,” Tim swings the pendulum of a clock, but in its sorry state nothing happens.
“Well, either way, we’re not going to figure out shit with it like this,” Jason shakes his head. “I say we find (Y/N) then we figure out how to fix the thing.”
“That’s a good start,” Tim agrees.
“Luckily, I know where she is,” Damian cuts in, “we’ve been sticking close to each other since I landed here.”
“That’s good! She’s alright, then? Safe?” Tim worries. Damian hid the smile behind his hand.
“Good, great even, and most of all safe,” he answers. The train halts and Damian stands up first. “But, since I have you both here, we’re going to have to figure out a way to have both of you go under the radar too. So I’ll share the story we've been using.” Tim and Jason shared wary glances.
“Okay.”
“Sure.”
“We’re from the mountains—”
“Fuck, couldn’t you have come up with something more believable?” Jason groans.
“Trust me, it’s worked so far, it explains our general lack of knowledge on how everything in this universe works as for the lack of ID,” he starts, “so, we’re from a mountain village. Recently, due to impoverished conditions, our parents sent all of us down to start working and to send money home. It works with (Y/N) in her position, it works with me being inducted late, and we’ll find a way to make it work with you two.”
“Sure, alright, I’ll play along if it means we can get home easier,” Tim says.
“Home… yeah,” Damian nods, but Jason is quick to catch his unease. He chose not to bring it up, though.
“Fine, yeah, I’ll be a farmer, or whatever,” Jason leans back against the seat.
“This world, though, you mentioned different laws. Hell, Jason and I got arrested for taking care of things the way we usually do, how can you explain that?”
“The law enforcement in this world is basically airtight, and it’s based on an honor system,” Damian explains, “At any moment, someone can be removed and replaced in the Knighthood under two circumstances: reasonable petition or honorable combat. Reasonable petition is when enough people with viable grievances petition for a member to be removed. Honorable combat is when someone challenges a Knight for their position. Because of this system, a natural respect is garnered by the people, and as a result of that there’s hardly any petty crime. As for the larger crimes, those are dealt with quickly, there’s far worse problems to deal with in this world than crime,” Damian says.
“And the law?” Jason probes.
“No unreasonable violence without just cause and material evidence,” Damian says. “That’s the best way to put why you two were arrested. The victim ran away so you didn’t have their testimony, the criminal was knocked out cold so he couldn’t say anything anyway, and two people without IDs were spotted at the scene. Not a good look, right?”
“Fair enough,” Tim brushes his shoulder.
“It’s a good thing you two are in civilian attire, makes it easier for you to blend in,” Damian says.
“Yeah… speaking of, where’s your uniform? What’s with the get up?” Jason asks.
“It’s at the apartment right now, we had to keep it hidden. To be able to integrate quickly I joined the Knighthood alongside a new regiment, I lucked out in the timing, but because of that I have a strict regimen to stick to, it’s been hard to investigate, but now that I have you both here we should be able to delegate.” The train slows to a stop and the cabin door opens automatically. Damian held a finger to his lips to signal that the conversation was over and the older two nodded. Damian leads them out of the train and the trio steps into a high-ceiling station. “We’re in the citadel now, the Knightsguard is the primary form of law enforcement here,” Damian says just loud enough for them to hear.
“This looks right out of a fantasy book,” Tim looks around.
“Uh… yeah,” Jason watches people interacting with holograms and other tech he couldn’t have even imagined. “So, where’s (Y/N)?” He asks.
“I’m taking you to her, obviously,” Damian grimaces. “But she’s busy right now, we’ll have to wait, but you’ll be able to see her,” Damian leads them down a series of corridors. “I need you both to remain calm while we’re here, though, remember we have to fly under the radar if we’re all going to go home, that means we have to play by their rules,” Damian says.
“Yeah, I can be calm,” Jason huffs. Tim and Damian deadpan toward him. “What? I can!”
“Says the man who decked someone first thing,” Damian chuckles.
“How’d you even know that was us anyway?!” Jason gasps.
“Two men in their twenties, one used excessive force on a civilian and the other screamed in frustration when it happened, then they argued with each other right after,” Damian recites. “I didn’t even have to listen to your names to know it was you two,” his mouth falls into a flat line.
“That could’ve been anyone, though,” Tim says.
“Sure, in any other earth where law-breaking was common, like ours. I already explained to you that things are different here. Not to mention, those other worse things to worry about,” Damian led the two into an arena-like room.
“Dami! Over here!” A voice yells out.
“Ooh, Dami, huh?” Jason nudges him and Damian rolls his eyes.
“Don’t embarrass me,” he glowers.
“It’s kinda in the job description,” Jason snarks and Damian frowns.
“You two are so similar,” he mumbles under his breath. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he responds to Retta regardless and the three approach them.
“Whoa, who are these?” Lowen asks.
“These are my brothers, Tim and Jason,” Damian introduces them. “They are also from our backwater mountain village,” Damian glares at Hugo.
“Whoa…” Hugo was stuck in admiration, though.
“You two, the group here are my friends, don’t be weird. The one eating a sandwich is Niers, the one who called us over is Retta, the girl playing with those rocks is Luciana, the one reading over there is Lowen, and the one making googly eyes toward Jason is Hugo,” Damian runs through the list and the group exchanges awkward hellos.
“Well, you’re all just in time! The Brigade’s about to start their sparring matches,” Retta points toward the ring in the middle. “Every month the Brigade checks their individual progress through these matches, randomized opponents and randomized scenarios. Though we don’t have to be here, it’s always fascinating to see how quick-witted they are. Truly they are the best of the best for a reason,” she explains.
“Yeah? We’ll see about that,” Jason mutters.
“Jason’s somewhat of an expert,” Tim nudges him.
“What about you?” Lowen snarks.
“He’s smart,” Damian answers for him.
“That’s… that’s it?” Lowen hums.
“Trust us, he’s the most important one,” Jason sighs.
“Oh! It’s starting!” Niers leans forward, pulling out his phone to start recording. “Looks like Officer Jones and Lieutenant Wright are first,” he says.
“Jones is the one on the left, Wright, I’m sure, looks familiar,” Damian speaks so only the two could hear him.
“Holy shit… that’s Alex,” Jason squints his eyes. “What’s he doing here?”
“I’m still trying to figure that out myself,” Damian leans forward. “I don’t believe in coincidences.”
“In our line of work, those don’t exist,” Tim replies.
“What’s your first impression of them? Just a curious question,” Luciana butts into their conversation, she’s looking at Jason, the so-called expert.
“Well…” Jason leans forward. “Both of them are in the military, that’s clear from their builds. Jones has a broader build, though, his shoulders are heavier but his arms are just as built, he probably uses a heavy weapon, right?”
“Right, he uses battle axes,” Luciana leans back. “And the lieutenant?”
“Hm…” Jason thought back, he’d met Alex a couple of times, that nerd. He couldn’t imagine him wielding anything as heavy as an axe, and with that more balanced build it was clear that, if anything, he would only be able to use lightweight weapons. Then again, Alex is a nerd, and if this world is straight out of a story booy then one thing could be plausible. “Magic user.”
“He is an expert!” Niers gasps.
“Just lucky guesses,” Jason hums.
“Watch the screens there,” Retta points to the monitors. “Look, you can see who’s fighting on that first one and the second one shows the random scenario.”
“Swords, wow,” Lowen closed his book and watched with an intent gaze. “Just look at the way they even hold them,” he was amazed, and rightfully so.
“So, you both have talents in martial arts?” Retta asks.
“Yeah, but I’ve never used a sword before,” Jason shrugs.
“Observe carefully,” Damian mutters. Tim and Jason catch onto his words and they turn their focus to the fight ahead of them.
~
2013
You walked downstairs one night, the moon was high in the sky and the stars just barely peeking out of Gotham’s smog. You had another nightmare, the same one you’ve been having for a while now. Your fear of being left alone because of the looming threat of death was one that you didn’t think would be going away any time soon. You walked into the kitchen, ready to pour yourself a glass of water.
“Hey, (Y/N),” Tim says behind you. You gasped in surprise, nearly dropping the glass while turning around. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says. There’s a mug in front of him, freshly poured and still cooling down.
“Is everything okay?” You pulled up a chair in front of him and he hesitated before answering.
“… No,” he looks into the mug in front of him. “I know I volunteered to become the next Robin but… training’s been harder than I thought it would be,” he shakes his head.
“That bad?” You rest your head on your hand. “Is Dick being too hard on you?”
“No, it’s not that, if anything Dick is the only one I’m actually learning from,” Tim shakes his head. “It’s just… it’s a lot,” he admits. You leaned forward on the table now.
“Well, for what it counts, I know next to nothing about fighting crime, so if you ever want to take a break, why not spend the day with me? I’m just a boring old civilian, but it’ll be nice to get some fresh air once in a while,” you offered.
“You’re not just a boring old civilian,” he shakes his head. “But… if you’re not doing anything tomorrow, maybe we can do something then?”
“Tomorrow?” You hummed. “Sure, let’s go do something after school,” you nodded. “I’ll tell dad so don’t worry about it, if he gets upset he’d have to go through me first,” you joked.
“Yes! I can’t wait!”
The next day, you and Tim were practically bouncing in your shoes waiting for the day to be over. Tim wondering what you had planned and you wondering how the day will go. This is the first time you’d have something of a younger sibling and you were so excited about it. You were excited to spend time with Tim the same way your older siblings spent time with you. It was a miracle that your dad agreed to let you take Tim out for the day, granted Dick did most of the talking, but you were thankful nonetheless. And, once the bell rang, it was nearly in the blink of an eye that both of you were outside.
“So, what are we doing today?” Tim asks.
“Hmm…” you pulled out two slips of paper and showed them to Tim, blank side up. “Choose one.”
“Any of them?”
“Yup, the one you choose is the one we’ll do today,” you nodded.
“Okay, well…” he looks between them both and selects the left one, “ice cream?”
“Ice cream it is,” you showed him the other paper which simply read ‘Arcade’ and you saw the way his eyes lit up, “this one is for the next time we hang out.”
“Next time?”
“Sure, even heroes need breaks,” you nudged him. “Anyway, there’s this hole-in-the-wall place I used to go to all the time, you’ll love it there, they have this cookie-butter flavor that is just so good,” you hummed.
“Cookie butter sounds good right now,” Tim follows at your heels.
“Hey, catch up! Don’t walk behind me like that,” you waited for him to join you at your side before continuing onward. “Look at those, Timmy,” you pointed into the shop window at the shoes. “I’ve been wanting that pair since forever,” you pointed at the one in the middle.
“Why don’t you just buy them then?” He asks you.
“Where’s the fun in that? My mom taught me from the get-go to earn things before getting them. Sure, her way was a bit…”
“Illegal?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you tilted your head to the side and nodded, “so I decided to combine both her and dad’s philosophies.”
“Beating people up?”
“No, no,” you shook your head quickly. “Work hard to make the prizes more worthwhile. It’s good for goal setting, and motivation, and it feels nice to finally reach a goal,” you pointed at the shoes. “I’m not going to buy those shoes until I graduate high school. No ifs, ands, or buts,” you announced. You and Tim walked into the ice cream parlor next to it and Tim slid into a booth. “How about you, Timmy? What’s your motivation?” Tim hums for a second.
“I want to do what’s right,” he says.
“You sure about that?” You asked him. He looks confused. “Think about it, Tim. I’m gonna get our ice cream.”
“But, that is my motivation.”
“That’s like premeds saying they want to save lives when asked why they wanted to go into medicine,” you explained.
“Well, you want to be a premed, why do you want to go into medicine?”
“Surgery, I want to specialize in that specifically because I like cutting things open,” you laughed and Tim’s face grew grim.
“Are you serious?!”
“Yeah, I mean, cutting things open with consent, duh, but see it’s small reasons that will help you drive your bigger one,” you say. “Anyway, what flavor do you want?”
“Chocolate, please.”
“Sounds good, think about it, Timmy, I’ll be right back.”
~
2022
“Talk about crowd,” Carter looks out from his spot. “When did we become zoo animals?” He nudges you.
“Who knows? It started out with the twins observing us, and now we have half the knighthood here,” you shrugged. “Poor Nix, though, he got the short end of the stick with swords.”
“He was never good at that subject,” you and Carter watched the sword slip out of Nixon’s hand and land stuck to the ground beneath. Alex, meanwhile, stops the blade right as it would’ve hit Nixon’s neck.
“Yield! I yield,” Nixon rose his hands and Alex put the sword away, offering his hand instead, which Nixon took with pride. “Good one, Lex,” he pulls Alex in and the two bump shoulders before separating. “Hey, stage’s all yours!” Nixon flags you both down.
“Yeah, yeah, take your time to walk that one off,” you fired back. Nixon rolled his eyes and followed Alex.
“Nixon, you have to pay more attention to your footing, I didn’t even have to worry about striking you since you were too busy tripping over yourself,” Alex says, “it’s amazing that you can wield an axe a foot taller than you.”
“Hey, come on, an axe is weighed totally differently than a sword,” Nixon shrugs. “Who’s up next anyway?”
“That would be us,” you raised your hand alongside Carter’s.
“Oh, now this I gotta see, you two don’t get paired up often,” Nixon grins. “My money’s on the Captain, of course,” he whispers to Alex.
“That all depends on what the random scenario is,” you shrugged. “If it’s anything other than swordsmanship or rifling, I’m screwed,” you sighed and followed Carter out, keeping your eyes glued to the screen to see the scenario. The words moved through the screen quickly in a wheel-like fashion until they settled on one phrase.
‘Hand-to-hand combat’
“Damn it all,” you cursed. Carter, meanwhile, stretched his arms across his chest. “You’re an expert at this one, Adara.”
“You would know,” he answers with a grin.
“Oh shut up,” you rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. You grabbed the wraps from the table and secured them around your hands. “Go easy, maybe?”
“You’d hate me if I did,” Carter held his hand out and you shook it with a firm grasp.
“Good answer,” you separated and took a deep breath and, once the buzzer sounded, your first move was to block, of all things. Too preoccupied with what was going on in the stands, you were more focused on not getting knocked down.
“Hey, she kinda looks like (Y/N),” Jason whistles. Damian and Tim turn back to look at him, the latter’s jaw on the floor.
“You really are stupid, aren’t you?” Damian clicks his tongue.
“That is (Y/N)!” Tim gestures toward you with open hands and Jason whistles louder.
“Oh!” He leans back to get a wider view. “Oh,” his voice drops alongside his jaw. He shoots up and runs down the bleachers.
“Jason! Don’t do anything dumb!” Tim makes a move to follow, but Damian pulls him down.
“Shh!”
“He’s gonna blow our cover!”
“You’re both going to blow our cover if you make a scene,” Damian hisses. 
“(Y/N)!” Jason cupped his hands around his mouth and your head whipped to the side.
“Jason?!” Now it was your turn to be shocked.
“Twelve o’clock!” He shouts. You duck your head in time to dodge the jab.
“Distracted, cap?” Carter pulls his fists back and you hold your arms in a defensive stance while shaking the shock from your thoughts. You knew Carter well enough to know that he wasn’t going to let you off easy, and such was true when he landed a hit clean on your jaw. You stumbled back on slightly, pushing your mandible back in place.
“Good hit.”
“Not good enough apparently.” Carter was relentless, you knew he had a natural talent at this but goddammit you were about to get schooled in front of the newbies. You blocked another hit from him and ducked under his swing. You could only dodge him for so long, you’d have to fight back eventually, but he kept all of his weak points well-guarded, moving just enough every time to block you off. It was when he knocked the wind out of you, causing you to stumble back and land against the railing, then a small ray of hope appeared.
“Hey, kid,” Jason takes your shoulders and holds you steady, “come on, shake it off. When dealing with opponents twice your size, you gotta go for the spots they won’t think twice of. Looks like this guy doesn’t skip chest day, but if you look at his proportions, your best bet is to go for the legs and then you throw punches,” he instructs. You nodded your head shakily, your pride was getting in the way of your logic right now.
“Yeah, okay, why?” Was all you were able to get out.
“I’ll be damned if my little sister loses in a hand-to-hand fight, this is my bread and butter,” he hits his chest with his fist. “Now go fuck him up!” He pushes you forward and you roll your neck, the world stabilizing around you and your breathing steadying again.
“Okay, I’m back,” you hold your hands in front of you.
“Isn’t that cheating?” He nudges his head toward Jason.
“Please, he just wanted to say ‘hello,’” you shrugged and charged again. Go for the legs, that’s right, that was always Carter’s weak point, why didn’t you think of that before? Good on Jason for noticing it as soon as he looked at him too, just goes to show you still have a lot to learn. Color Carter surprised when you roundhoused him first, knocking him onto his back and grabbing him by the collar. “Yield.”
“Nah,” he grabs your arm and sweeps you off of your feet, you were airborne for a while before you felt yourself pinned to the ground. You broke free from his grasp and rolled to the side, regaining your footing quickly to move out of the way of another swing.
“Come on, (Y/N)!” Of course, Jason was always the loudest in the room. You adjusted steadied your stance and threw a jab just as you moved out of the way of Carter’s right hook.
“Who’s he, anyway?” Carter asks.
“Focus,” you duck behind him and sweep his legs again, this time Carter falls forward, but you grab the back of his shirt on time. “You always keep your back open,” you shook your head.
“Well, I usually have you to watch it,” he pushes up and pivots on his heel, once again grabbing your arm, but you took this as a chance to slam your knee into his abdomen, effectively knocking the wind out of him and pushing him to the side. You stretched your arms out again and, right as he recovered, you landed a hit clean against his jaw, knocking him onto the floor. You shook the stinging pain out of your hands while he raised his right one. “Yield,” he adjusts his jaw and you help him up.
“Goes to show I’m captain for a reason, right?” You pulled him close so you could whisper in his ear. “Why’d you let me win? I know you can pack a harder punch.”
“Half the knighthood’s watching, and that guy who said ‘hello’ is glaring daggers at me,” he nudges his head toward Jason. Jason. You let go of him and turn to your brother, nodding toward the side of the stage, and he catches your signal, going in that direction while you drop the wraps back in their place. “Where are you off to?”
“Investigation, watch over Eve’s and Alex’s spar for me,” you walked under the entrance and spotted Jason at the end. “Don’t get excited, he let me win,” you jutted your thumb behind you, but Jason still had a proud grin on his face.
“Does it matter? Look at you go, kiddo!” He clapped a hand against your back and you groaned. “Now… what the fuck was that?!” His shout was obvious and you squeezed your eyes shut.
“Look, Jay, a lot has changed since we last spoke, but more importantly, what the hell are you doing here? How? Are the others about to come pouring in?” You asked.
“Oh, actually, Tim’s here too.”
“Tim’s here too?!”
“Yeah, wanna say hi?”
“Jason, be serious, you shouldn’t be here, the three of you!”
“Well, duh, Tim and I came here to nab you and Damian and head back.”
“Head back? Do you even know how to head back?!”
“Sure,” Jason pulls out the wristwatch and you grab it, looking at the damaged insignia on the front. It was almost too scraped and worn through to be able to get a clear image, but the shape was a dead giveaway.
“How did you get this?”
“You left it behind?”
“Me? No, no, that’s impossible, I don’t use this model,” you said.
“Model? Wait, you have one of these?” Jason points at it in your hands.
“Yes, kind of, it’s complicated, Jay.”
“And you never came home?!” You stopped. You took a deep breath.
“… No,” you shook your head. You opened the watch. “Whatever you two did to this, it’s busted beyond repair. It can’t get you back now, and the models I use are under lock and key by the Crown,” you shut the watch with one hand and handed it back to Jason.
“And since Damian’s still here then you haven’t been able to get it, huh?”
“Without putting him at risk, no,” you crossed your arms and Jason mirrored your stance. “I’m not going back, Jay.”
“I’m not going to try to convince you,” he says while rubbing the back of his neck harshly. “Look, I know you have your reasons, and I’m not going to bang my head against a wall to understand them—”
“I thought you of all people would understand,” you interjected.
“What?”
“You didn’t come home either, did you?” You asked.
“That was different.”
“How so?” You stepped up. “We both died because of a mistake that father made and we both came back fundamentally changed from who we were before, how are we different?”
“Because you are you and I am me,” Jason points to you then to himself. “I… I can’t explain it other than that,” he shakes his head.
“Sister,” Damian approaches with Tim in tow.
“We’ll finish this conversation later,” you took the watch from Jason’s hand and held it up. “Look familiar, Damian?” You held it by the chain and the younger nodded. “Shit, this just got more complicated,” you muttered. You shoved it into your pocket as soon as you heard footsteps.
“Ayo, Cap!” Nixon waves his hand. “Ayo… everyone else,” he observes the group while the rest of the Brigade follow behind him. 
“Whoa, long time no see, Alex,” Jason waves.
“Hello, Jason,” Alex nods his head. “I don’t suppose daddy dearest will be next, will he?” Alex whispers toward you.
“Interesting to see a familiar face,” Tim was already making connections, you could see it in his expression.
“Shit… the Queen’s gonna kill me,” you slumped your shoulders and your eyes rolled toward the ceiling. “Would it be nepotism if I just tossed them in some honorary role?” You looked at Alex.
“Yes, very, but they’re too old to take the recruits’ test too,” Alex hums.
“It’s fine, there’s no need,” Tim cuts in. “We’ll be in and out, we’re just here to get Damian and (Y/N) and we’ll be on our way—”
“Whoa, whoa, what do you mean you’re here for the captain?” Carter subtly steps next to you now. “Sure, take the kid, we were looking for ways to send him back anyway, but you can’t take her.” He looks toward you and you sigh.
“What do you mean we can’t take her?” Tim frowns.
“Stop,” you held your hand out and the group fell into a tangible silence. “Look, we can’t have this conversation until we even find a way to send them back. We haven’t had access to our watches since we came back, and we can only use those with a direct Royal order, so until then, we’re going to have to find a way for you both to lie low, that’s why I inducted Damian into the Knighthood, it gave me a way to keep an eye on him while I researched the monster outbreaks,” you explain.
“There’s monsters here too?” Tim asks.
“Naturally,” you nodded. “Any of you have any ideas on how I handle my brothers?” You looked at your team.
“You are taking this surprisingly well,” Alex comments. You look at your watch.
“No time to freak out, I have to head down to the lab soon, there are developments with the daemon I need to check out,” you silenced your phone, “well? Anyone?”
“It’s a long shot, but…” Eve hums. “I know we have openings on our research team, we could probably fit them in there,” she says.
“I could do that,” Tim says. “Jason, though, I’m not too sure,” he looks at his brother, who crossed his arms.
“There is that way,” Alex speaks up but you shook your head.
“No way.”
“Well, it’s your best bet if you don’t want Jason around vials ten times older than he is,” Alex insists.
“What is it? I can handle it,” Jason nods.
“Mm… who would he fight though? He has to take someone’s place,” you mumbled.
“Or, if he fought someone with high authority and they were impressed with him that could work too,” Alex insists.
“Who has that authority?” You asked him.
“…” Alex didn’t answer.
“Oh,” your eyes widened slightly with the realization. “Okay, yeah,” you nodded. “Jason, repeat after me,” you looked at him and he nodded. “I, Jason Todd.”
“I, Jason Todd.”
“Challenge.”
“Challenge?”
“The Captain of the Brigade.”
“The Captain of the Brigade.”
“For a position on their team.”
“For a position on their… team?” Jason’s head tilts slightly.
“Sure, challenge accepted,” you took his hand and shook it.
“Wait… What?!” You pushed him toward the arena. “Hold on!”
“See you guys in a bit, I’ll explain everything after this, promise, meanwhile someone makes up an ID for him and Timmy,” you looked at your team and they nodded, heading toward the stands. “Jason, make it look realistic, yeah? Eyes everywhere.” You pushed him out of the entryway and Jason looked around the arena. He’d seen it from above, but to be in the center of it all was a whole new experience.
“Get a load of this! Someone challenged the Captain!” A voice shouted.
“Captain Wayne?! He doesn’t stand a chance!”
“Who is he anyway? Someone pull up his ID.”
“Not every day we see someone not in the Knighthood challenge, should be interesting.”
“What did you get me into?” Jason asks, looking around the now looming arena.
“Shh,” you pointed toward the screens. The phrases rolled in roulette until it settled: No scenario. “Well, that’s just luck.” Two tables rose on either side of you. “Take your pick, Jay. Whichever you choose I’ll go with too. If I’m impressed, I’ll induct you in, if not… well, we’ll deal with that after,” you shrugged and stood at the table, waiting for your opponent to make his choice. Jason, as predicted, picked up the pistols. “Don’t worry, there’s an enchantment on them, nothing here is deadly,” you told him, picking up your own pair of guns. “We’re sparring, not killing.”
“Sure, yeah,” he gives them a spin to test their weight, and, strangely enough, they felt perfect. “So what exactly are we doing?”
“Only way I can keep you two close by. Tim goes with research, you stick by me. I can’t have you running off punching people, Jay.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“Not here you can’t, god, you’re worse than Damian,” you readjusted your grip around the handles. “Think of it as a spar, you’ve done plenty of those.”
“This isn’t fair, though,” Jason stood at one end of the arena. “You’ve watched me since I started, you know all my moves.”
“Not true, there was a three-year gap, right? I would hope you learned something new.”
“Oho, you really are my sister if you’re making jokes about your death,” Jason held the pistol up. “I saw that fight too, let’s get caught up,” Jason takes the first shot and you move out of the way just in time, taking your own shot in response.
~
2015
“So, anyway,” Tim takes a bite of his cheeseburger while you drank your soda, “Conner did some crazy shit where he ripped the robot in two, it was insane!” Tim continued to tell his story but soon he caught himself.
“It’s okay, he’s still your best friend,” you urged him to continue.
“Still, though, I mean…” Tim crosses his arms.
“At least he did it the right way, he broke up with me first,” you shrugged. “And it’s good for you too! You don’t have to hear me talking about him anymore,” you nudged him playfully and continued eating. “Anyway, you were saying?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, sis,” he shakes his head. “Plus, I’m out here with you, why would I want to talk about work?” Tim groans. “How are you?”
“Oh, you know, the usual,” you hummed. “I’ve just sent out my applications. I’m looking into some different universities,” you pulled up the list on your phone. “I’m really looking at Metropolis or Central City, they have strong STEM programs that I’m interested in,” you said.
“Oh… what about Gotham U?” Tim asks. You look up from your phone and you don’t quite think you’ve seen that expression on him before.
“Of course, that’s my safe university, I’m pretty much guaranteed acceptance with my namesake alone,” you cleared your throat. “Is… is everything okay, Timmy?” You asked him. You couldn’t beat around the bush anymore. You’d noticed Tim being a bit more… resistant to certain things going on in the house. You leaving for college being one of them, you never noticed just how close you two were until now.
“Bruce… he doesn’t need me anymore, huh?” He says quietly.
“Oh, Tim, don’t say that,” you straightened your posture and you took a deep breath.
“And you… you have an actual younger brother now,” Tim says quietly.
“Hey, come on, blood doesn’t make the bond,” you say. “Plus, no one could ever replace you,” you continued. “I mean, not just anyone memorizes 200 digits of pi for fun.”
“Come on, that’s nothing!” Tim grumbles.
“Definitely something, Tim I cry tears of joy when problems tell me to just use pi instead of 3.14,” you laughed. “But, I’m serious, Tim, if anything you’re going to get promoted,” you grinned. Tim shoots you an uneasy smile.
“Yeah, I guess, I don’t know what exactly I’m so worried about,” he says. “I mean… well, I don’t know,” he stops and decides not to pursue it any further. “But, uh, Metropolis, huh? That’s a good school!”
“I know, just a little far now that I think about it,” you muttered. “Gotham’s program isn’t so bad either, I guess,” you hummed and took a quick glance at Tim, who already seemed a little happier.
“But, (Y/N), you don’t have to go there, you looked excited talking about those other two,” Tim catches your glance. “It’s just… they’re far,” he leans back against the booth. “We can’t be with you there, you know? You’d be on your own and you’re a Wayne and…”
“Hey, I can handle myself pretty well, I think,” you insisted. “I mean, I made it this far, right?”
“Because you had us!”
“Tim,” your voice dropped and you looked both ways, ensuring that no one was listening. “I get that I’m not as… extraordinary as you all, but I’m not helpless, I can take care of myself, I’ve been taking care of myself, and I know you mean well, but Tim you’ve gotta trust me a little,” you folded your hands in front of you. “I’m not as fragile as Dick likes to make me out to be.”
“That’s… that’s not what I meant,” Tim looked away and you sighed.
“I know, I know you just want me to be safe, all of us,” you crossed your arms. “But I can’t just live in fear. One thing being in this family teaches you is how to be careful,” you looked to the side. “And another thing it teaches you is that family is what you make it,” Tim looked at you now. “Dick and I aren’t blood-related, neither was Jason, and neither are you, but still I have never looked at any of you as anything other than my brothers. The same goes for Babs, Steph, and Cass, you’re all my family regardless of anything, and I will always put you all first. But, with that said, the same goes for Damian. He’s young, alone, and probably confused, we can’t alienate him just because of his background, if anything, that’s why we should accept him more. And you, Tim, I get it, you’re different from the first two, but that doesn’t make you any less than them, hell, I bet if Jason were here right now he’d say the same.”
“But…”
“No ‘buts, Tim, I mean it, you’re amazing!”
“Maybe… maybe I’ll take a page out of your book then, (Y/N), retire early,” he says. Your shoulders slumped.
“Whatever you want, little bro. And if you do, I’ll be here to help you out. And if not, I’ll still be here.”
“Even if you’re miles away?”
“You know, there’s this wonderful invention called cell phones.”
“Stop it! You know what I mean!”
“Yes! Yeah, of course, even if I’m partying it up in Central City, if you call me I’ll come running, I know you’d do the same.”
“Well, that goes without saying,” Tim crosses his arms now.
“So… the new team, huh? I’d love to meet them.”
“Oh, you are going to love them, (Y/N)!” Tim beams.
~
2022
You just narrowly dodged the bullet this time, had Jason already gotten a reading on you? Impossible. You had to switch up your tactics quickly or else you’d actually lose. Think, (Y/N), what was he going to do next? Jason, as much as a wildcard he is, you could read him easily. He had these kinds of wind-ups to certain moves, you noticed. Like now, that roll of his shoulder, he’s going in for a hook so now you had to think about where he’s aiming. If he ducks low enough it’s your abdomen, if he keeps his level then it’s your shoulder. Leave it to Jason to play dirty, he picked up the pistols only for them to be a red herring, but, then again, you should’ve expected this from him as soon as he holstered the damn things.
But you knew him as well as he knew you. You play by the rules, maybe a little too much, out of the box operations were more of Carter’s forte while you and Alex tried to stick to orders more. But, come to think of it, you’d always been this way. Always doing what you’re told and never standing up until you have to. Then here’s Jason, an absolute force of nature when he’s pissed and an unstoppable machine when he’s focused.
You dodged his punch and bounced back, creating some distance before aiming the pistol and taking three shots. One on his arm, the other on his leg, and the third missed its mark when it grazed his shoulder. On each impact the bullet dissipated, hitting him with enough force to push him back but hardly enough to leave more than a bruise. You switched hands and fired another round, this time the bullet grazed his cheek and Jason couldn’t stop the proud smirk that rose on his face.
You never really got why your siblings were so crazy about sparring. Sure, you got it from a training standpoint, but their obsession with it was on a new level. It was just a pass time for them and you’d just sip on a juicebox and wait for them to finish.
But you get it now.
It’s a whole different language, one that was perfected by the Waynes. Each attack was like a part of a conversation, let’s get caught up, you get what he meant now. Even your spars with the other members of the Brigade weren’t this entertaining, and everyone in the stands agreed. Usually, you’d hear roars of shouts but this time it was silent. Everyone was watching in tense observation, trying to see if Jason had what it takes to join the Brigade and, hell, he actually might.
“Come on, Jay, you picked up those pistols, use them,” you taunted. Jason shook his head and charged again, you barely moved out of the way this time. “You’re faster.”
“I do cardio with Steph.” You ducked under his swing.
“Wider shoulders too.” He grabbed your fist before you could hit him and you shook him off before he could toss you.
“Dick would kill me if I skipped chest day.” You held the pistol up but misfired.
“Thought he was more of a glutes guy.” Jason evades your attacks easily.
“You know that’s all genetics.” He shrugs and you take this chance to shoot at his foot, causing him to lose his balance temporarily.
“True.” It didn’t last long, Jason was up on his feet in seconds and you were planning your next attack.
“I’m starting to think you just use those things as a safety blanket,” you looked at either pistol and Jason rolled his eyes.
“You know one thing about you that hasn’t changed, kiddo?”
“What?”
“You still don’t look under you.”
“What?” You looked down and your breath stopped, seeing the array of bullet shells and spikes beneath you. “Now when did you get those?”
“Had them from the beginning, you just weren’t paying attention,” he shakes his head.
“Effectively, this would be a draw,” you looked around you, one misstep would be something of an unfortunate lego brick under your shoes. “Neither of us can move forward,” you explained.
“Oh yeah? Boring,” he shakes his head.
“This match is over,” you announced, stretching out your neck and, in seconds, all the weapons disappeared as if in a simulation and the cheering was deaf to you. “I like you, you’re not Brigade material, but I’ll find a place for you,” you held your hand out and he shook it.
“Sure, I look forward to it,” he says. 
“So, I have to ask, why didn’t you use them? Wanted to prove you didn’t need them?”
“You really think I would shoot you? Spar or not, I couldn’t do that,” he shakes his head. You stopped for a moment, but regained your senses before anyone could notice. “Now what?”
“I either get my ass kicked by the queen or we start your onboarding, should be quick, I’m putting you in one of the honorary squadrons,” you nodded. Jason followed you into the end of the arena. “What we talked about earlier? We discuss it to no one. Not Damian, not Tim, and no one on my team,” you said.
“What did we talk about again?” Jason caught your hint.
“Captain! Captain, we have a problem!” Marion was quick to meet you.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“That beast from a few months ago, the one that attacked the new recruits! It’s back! It’s in the courtyard right now! Aldryn’s moving the royal family to a safe house as we speak.”
“Shit,” you looked at Jason, then to Marion. “Take me there,” you pulled your phone out and held it to your ear. “All members of the Brigade report to the courtyard, we have another Daemon to take care of,” you held your hand over the speaker, “Mary how many of them are there?”
“We counted one so far, but if it’s anything like before…” She doesn’t finish her sentence.
“You take the recruits and go somewhere safe, we’ll call for help if we need it.” You ran off toward the courtyard and Marion looks at Jason.
“Who are you?” She asks.
“I’m with her,” Jason jogs after you. “What the hell is a Daemon, (Y/N)?!”
“We have monsters. This is a recent one that happens to decimate towns,” you explained, “why are you following me? Go somewhere far!”
“I wouldn’t even know where to go!” Jason defends. You both stop once you reach the outdoors and Jason swallows down his words. “That… is that it?”
“Whatever it is… that is not the one that attacked the recruits before,” you looked up. It was huge, bigger than anyone you had fought before. It towered over you easily while fresh blood dripped down its maw. It spots you and its ears straighten in alert while its eyes, empty white sockets, bored their way into you. Your eyes drifted to its neck and you could just barely make out the glint of metal that was hidden in its fur. You held your phone up again. “We need it alive.”
“Roger,” Nixon answered first.
“I’ll handle crowd control,” Alex says.
“I’m on my way now,” Eve was next.
“Can you handle it until we get there?” Carter.
“Sure… maybe.” The beast growled and, maybe you were just noticing it, but with every roar or grunt the skies seemed to get darker.
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theraspberryone · 5 months
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Hiiii! Welcome to "Me discovering that I can talk about my random thoughts on Psychology and MHA cause those two have been hyperfixations for years and Tumblr is the best place to talk like that"
"Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn" Part 2 : The League of Villains!
(You can't understand how happy I am to see that the first one really interested people!!)
So Touya/Dabi was already made in Part 1
1st, let's start with Toga. We know her past, she was seen as weird, a freak, disgusting by her own family (I heard she had siblings, so even as far as them). But during years, she faked being a "perfect little child" that listened and was calm and "normal". Her family confronted her behaviours and she was in a full Fawn mode. One day, her mask that she forced onto herself fell and all her repressed needs, who are in her D.N.A., came as they could. The need of blood made her attack someone. This feeling of finally being free (herself) brought her to the LOV and to find a family that accept her and her "abnormal" behaviour. She seems to actually only need that, a family, and when she can (like in the Yakuza mess), she'd rather Flight the conflict. However if her family is targeted (like with Magne and Twice), or when her family gives her orders to, she will Fight. Because she just wants to keep her found family.
2nd is Twice. Pretty much like Toga, he only needed a family. Due to his mental instability, his fears and his self-doubts, he could have been a Freeze and not react, be stucked while facing confrontation (kinda like what we can see even before with his old boss). Though he trusted his new family so much that he was, like Toga, either going for the Flight or the Fight depending of how much his family needed him. (Though a bit more of a Flight then Toga before season 6, still because of his insecurities and fears of fighting eating his confidence away).
3rd Mister Compress. We don't see much of him, we just know that thieves are normal and biological in his family. So I would say that confronted, Compress may prefer to go for the Flight. Fighting would be if an irrespectful act is commited but he wouldn't stay doing nothing, or wouldn't dirty himself for a random person.
4th, Spinner. We know he's a follower. He follow Stain blindly because he doesn't know what else to do, then Shigaraki because he becomes a good leader, and listens to Dabi because he sees him as superior. He doesn't really have his own way of thinking and weighting the good and the bad side of his decisions. His "primary leaders" being Fighters, he would immediatly Fight back too. Same as Toga and Twice for the found family part, if his family is threatened, he will Fight for them. But before the LOV he was definitely a Freeze. Lizard side or not, he seemed to be very "NPC"-like towards his life, so no much reaction to confrontation before he had a goal.
5th is Shigaraki himself. He's a Fight. Confrontation = Fight for him, he was raised that way. OFA raised him that way. He won't be a perfect silent person, he won't say nothing and stay still, he won't escape from the situation. He yearns for a new society, a new reign, he wants to see a country and the world crumbles. A full Fight made to be like that by OFA.
Bonus because he was asked!
Stain : Stain to me would respond by Fight or Flight. But while his Fight would be very direct (you confront him, he confronts back), his Flight would be controlled. He doesn't want to avoid a situation of confrontation because he is scared, how because that's how his mind instinctly answers, he just doesn't want to confronts and will leave instead. But this situation is pretty rare, it's the type of situation we can only see with All Might (because he is worthy enough to be a hero by Stain's psychology). Stain would, and that's what we can see with anyone else until now, only attack and kill because he sees the "unseriousness" of being a hero, the need for fame and not actual saving as a unique goal, as a threat to the job of being a hero.
I hope I didn't forget anyone.
Thanks to have been there for my little talk, if you have anything, professional or not to say or ask you can gladly interact I'l be very happy! ♡♡♡
Part 1 : The Todoroki Siblings
Part 3 : The UA teachers
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tio-trile · 1 year
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Obligatory sorry if you're fed up with GO2 asks!
I'm a new fan of the show (like, a few weeks after season 2 came out a friend lent me their Prime acc to binge watch everything) and haven't read the book at all but!
It's like in S1 Crowley and Aziraphale exist in the world and in S2 the world exists for them kind of,, in S1 the point of view shifted almost constantly and at the end the plotlines converged together in a cathartic moment for all of our beloved characters, but in S2 it's just,, present Aziracrow and past Aziracrow,, which is fine, I liked that they showcased the way they were and are with each other but it would've been better if there were less of these moments.
Talking about these, I saw that a lot of people on Tumblr were excited to see Crowley as an angel and it could've been good but. I don't get why Aziraphale HAD to be here, or more like HAD to interact with him and remember/recognize him later, and I'm not really thrilled about the fact that Crowley is implied to be someone important! It just feels like Crowley and Aziraphale aren't equals anymore ; Crowley Always Knows Best he admittedly was someone pretty important in heaven before and he feels more Holier Than Thou than the literal angel he's with?? I get that he Fell so he already knows for sure that Heaven is corrupt but,, I don't know, I feel like Aziraphale lost agency and just Can't Do Anything Right anymore! (And Crowley Can't Do Anything Wrong anymore either??)
I found the flashbacks for ineffable bureaucracy quite adorable but it was all too sudden! It feels the Gabriel mystery just wasn't progressing at all during the season and at the last minute, ta-dahh here's an exposition dumb on what happened, no build-up for the now canon pairing. Not a big fan of amnesia in general but even less when the amnesic character just gets everything back for a dramatic reveal scene, maybe I would have felt like things actually happened in this season if Gabriel was slowly able to access some memories. We could have had the build-up of him and Beelzebub planning on escaping together in the flashbacks! (And I mean, I get that there was the fly and the song but,, It didn't really affect Gabriel/Jim so it doesn't feel,,, enough?)
I was completely indifferent to Maggie and Nina. Also could've worked better as a separate POV from Aziracrow. I just didn't get enough scenes to care for them or feel any chemistry. Nina was already in a relationship, and Maggie was just crushing on her. They didn't really get together at the end but they're involved enough in the idea of them getting together in the future to give Crowley love advice and for Maggie to wait for Nina. I just don't really get it? If the goal was Maggie and Nina getting together, then they needed more time and scenes. If the goal was that they would not get together because Aziraphale and Crowley were trying to force them to be, then why saying that they "only needed a little push," that Maggie is "willing to wait for Nina," why both give love advice to a guy they barely know when they barely know each other too?
Anyways, I really liked the show (and am still eager for a potential S3)! But I feel like Neil Gaiman's writing is missing a similar style to Terry's (though obviously I wouldn't know what his writing is like since I. Haven't read the book nor other books from this/both of these actually authors), and important reoccurring characters besides Aziraphale and Crowley.
Yes, I agree with a lot of your points! And it's very interesting for me to hear that we share a lot of the same opinions although coming from different places -- being an older book fan and being a newer show-only fan. "S1 Crowley and Aziraphale exist in the world and in S2 the world exists for them" is exactly right, and similar to what I complained about not liking them "being the main characters". And I completely agree with that even if we see Angel!Crowley, Aziraphale doesn't have to be there, and also not liking that Crowley was somebody important before. And yeah, I've said it before but the Gabriel mystery and even the Nina/Maggie romance have potential, but ends up falling flat. Thank you for the ask! Apology accepted.
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hey tumblr, i wrote an essay for class about Simon Snow because im gay and weird. read it out to my friends and they grabbed me by my shoudlers and shook me and said "POST THAT TO TUMBLR" so here it is :3
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In Rainbow Rowell's “Any Way the Wind Blows” the series protagonist Simon Snow often reflects on how he finds it hard to fit in to a world of mages after losing his magic. This correlates to the drastic changes he makes to his life to try and find a place to fit in.
Taking place after Simon’s trip to the U.S.A, Simon is forced to return to his previous life of sitting around in his apartment while his best friend Penelope and boyfriend Baz are off to college to work on their degrees. Simon’s first drastic change is moving out, he stops responding to texts from Baz and leaves without explaining to anyone but Penelope. He also leaves a note for Baz. Penelope comments to Baz on how Simon would “like space” and how he “doesn't want to talk” to either of them. This correlates to Simon’s desire to leave the world of mages and how brash and erratic he has become. Penelope also comments on how she thinks he’s become “lost”, further proving how desperate Simon is to escape his previous life. This in turn also proves Simon no longer feels as if he “fits in” around Penelope and Baz in his own apartment.
Additionally, Simon also schedules an appointment with a specialist to have his wings and tail removed. The same he used to save the entire magical world. In Agatha’s section of the story, her comments often allude to Simon being hesitant, and the broken glass and scattered surgery materials on the floor when she first walk in. Along with the vet student Niamh commenting on how they’ll “try again” allude to the fact Simon has not completely thought this action through in his desperation to flee his old life. This, again, proves that Simon doesn't feel comfortable in his regular day-to-day life, needing to shed his wings and tail to live among the normal public.
Simon’s last action, and the most drastic and brash he makes is breaking up with his boyfriend Baz. After Baz tracks down Simon using his magic, Simon blows up at him, giving us the clearest evidence that he no longer feels like he belongs. He starts by saying without his magic he’s just “an ordinary bloke.” no longer the “chosen one”. They continue to fight Baz asking if its because of the magic and eventually Simon comments on how he was “never going to make ‘this’ work” after saying that he cant be with Baz. Simon never denies the fact its because Baz is a mage but through his actions and behavior, its not unreasonable to make an inference that this is part of the reason Simon is doing what hes done especially because of the way he responds during the argument. This is one of the biggest clearest pieces of evidence that Simon no longer feels as if he fits in, wanting to break all ties to the world of mages to life a life as a “normal bloke”.
Although he does go back on almost every decision he made further into the book this still doesn't take away from the fact Simon is desperate to find a place he fits in. Especially with all the erratic choices he makes.
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book-reaper · 7 months
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Closer
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Please note that this is my first time posting on Tumblr so please be kind since I don't really know what I'm doing.
TW?: Smut, and biting kink (giving and receiving), ft. Will Graham at the end. Read at your own risk. No minors pls.
Also no use of Y/N, I sort of made up a character but if you guys like her I have a couple ideas for a story with the three of them. But buckle up this is longer than I intended it to be.
Amara was fast asleep beside Hannibal as something inside him woke him. Something deep and primal was demanding more and more attention, remaining unsatisfied and unrelenting until it got what it wanted. Opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling he took a moment to assess this new feeling. Soon enough he realized this feeling was directed towards the woman still sound asleep next to him, unaware of the new urge that plagued him. Taunted him.
As he placed together the pieces of what he was feeling he looked over at her. The woman that was so much like him and yet so different. He can still remember the day he met her for the first time with clarity that he hoped would never go away.
Hannibal was standing next to Will and Alana as they observed the girls. The Butterflies as they had referred to themselves several times. There were twelve sitting in the room hidden mostly by their hospital beds that they had pushed to the center of the room and placed in a circle. Each bed coming into place made them just a tad safer, a tad more hidden, as they sat in the center of the circle quietly talking to one another and seeking comfort in those that could truly understand what they had gone through.
“The other one, Amara, is upstairs. She was pretty seriously injured in the escape.” Jack’s voice came up from behind them.
“How bad is it?” Alana asked, always the first to worry.
“Gunshot wound to the leg, stab wound in the abdomen, a fairly serious amount of blood loss, some trauma to the head but it looks like she’ll be fine.” Jack reassured.
“I don’t think any of them will be fine for a long time.” Alana had remembered the pictures of the place they had been. Over two hundred other Butterflies had been chemically preserved and mounted into glass cases lining the walls of their hell.
Hannibal was intrigued by the wings. Each girl had a different pair of wings tattooed onto her back. A different type of butterfly. Each one was unique and crafted with care. The shapes were distinct and shading meticulously perfect. Each pair was a work of art.
“They are keeping her separate from the others?” Will asked, unsure if it is the best move to keep her separated from the only support network she had.
“The extent of her wound means they would need to keep a closer eye on her, change her bandages, and check on her far more frequently than the others; however anytime someone enters the room the butterflies get stressed out. They are most likely separating her so they can treat her without making what the others are going through worse for them.” Hannibal explained briefly.
“While the majority aren’t willing to speak to anyone much less talk about what exactly happened, she is apparently an open book.” Jack reiterated what the charge nurse had told him.
“She’s talking about what happened?” Alana asked, surprised.
When Hannibal had entered the room he remembers feeling an unexplainable sense of possessiveness at seeing her standing by the window rather than laying in bed. Two nurses were stood on either side of her asking her to go back to bed.
“Bailey, Dezeray, I understand that you’re trying to do what’s best for me, and I appreciate that, but if I have to lie around for another minute I think my mind will break here more than it ever did in The Garden.” She told them calmly. Something about her oozed a sense of serenity and calm. Whatever it was made the nurses feel comfortable to let her stand and move around with the promise she won’t over do it, despite that being the only things she shouldn’t be doing with her injuries.
Maybe it was that very feeling of serenity she gave him that made him fall for her in the end. Maybe it was how easily she got the two nurses charged with her care to let her do things she shouldn’t be doing. Maybe it was her wings. They were the wings of his favorite butterfly after all. Greta Oto, The Glass Butterfly. Maybe it was her small frame that came in at a mighty 5’3. Maybe it was the look in her eye that he nearly missed as she recounted the events that took place in The Garden and her escape. 
The subtle darkness that shifted over her eyes as she recounted how she killed each of the three men keeping her and the others captive before returning to her enclosure to free them. A predator disguised as prey protecting her kaleidoscope. Maybe it was a combination of her beauty with her cleverness, her logic, her level of emotional control and regulation, her persuasiveness that seemed to come as easily to her as breathing, her sharp instincts as he recognised her clocking what he was within a few moments of meeting him, her sense of hearing which complimented his sense of scent wonderfully.
Maybe it was all of those things. Maybe it was none of them. Regardless he found himself awake before the sun and the side of him that he had only ever heard telling him to kill, to consume, now telling him to hold her. To get closer to her. And so he did. He was careful not to wake her as he pressed his body against her back and locked her in place with his arm. 
Closer. It urged. He pressed his body flush against her and slid his other arm under where her head rested on the pillow, allowing him to gently place his nose into her hair and flood his senses with her. She stirred gently at the movement but remained asleep.
Closer. It voiced. He tenses slightly, the arm around her unconsciously pulling her tighter against him. He would have to wake her to get even closer. 
Closer. It demanded. Hannibal knew that when that side of him started demanding things it would get what it wanted in the end. There was no denying it but he could hold it off for a little while. Hopefully long enough. Hannibal gently brushed the hair away from his beloved's neck, exposing the soft sensitive flesh to the beast of a man. He gently placed feather light kisses all along the column, gradually getting firmer. Trying to slowly and gently wake her from slumber. 
Amara was a light sleeper, always had been, so she was awoken by the faint kisses being placed on her neck by rather familiar lips. Enjoying the unprompted affection she laid still and fought to keep the smile off her lips. A battle she lost as he got more firm. If she hadn’t known any better she would say that Hannibal was acting needy. Hannibal, not seeing the lazy smile on her lips, only pulled his lips back from their spot just behind her ear and paused briefly as she let out a content hum.
Now knowing she was now awake he kissed his way up from her shoulder to her jaw. As he got closer she shifted onto her back so she could look up at him. As he locked eyes with him she gently brought her hand up to run her fingertips along his cheekbone. Hannibal's eyes fluttered shut as his body relaxed slightly when it was satisfied for a meer moment before demanding more. Amara noted that Hannibal needed something although she wasn’t entirely sure he knew what he needed. 
But her touch seemed to soothe the fire coursing through his body but as he opened his eyes again she found a certain type of hunger within them that she had satiated less than 12 hours ago before they had cleaned up and gone to sleep. Hannibal knew she knew what he needed even if he hadn’t figured it out yet himself. He could see it in her eyes and soul that read him with an ease that no one else had.
She gently smiled at him and grabbed his shoulder, softly pulling and insisting he lay atop her. He did so without resistance and placed his forehead on hers, simply taking a moment to breathe in her presence and the passive effect it seemed to have on every part of him. Almost shyly, she reached up and kissed him. Short and quickly at first, hoping to get him to understand what it was he needed as she pulled back and gave him a moment to sort through his mind.
Soon enough he seemed to understand and as he settled a small bit of his body weight on her he kissed her with all of what he recognized as desire to be burning in his body like a blaze. The kiss was firm, urgent, and demanding as  it got louder.
Closer.
He pressed his tongue gently against the seal of her lips. She let him in.
Closer. 
He slid his hand under her (his) shirt and dragged it up to her back, up her wings to easily press her chest against his. 
Closer.
He tilted his head to be able to better explore her mouth with his tongue as he took in the feel of her breast pressed against his chest. And as if she heard its plea she locked her legs around his waist and pulled his hips flush with hers. A groan slipped past his lips at the feeling of his cock pressed against her, separated only by his silk pajama pants and the cotton of her underwear. 
Closer. It got louder. Instinctively his lips left hers and instead went searching for that one spot on her neck he knew brought her pleasure. While she ran her hands over the muscles of his back the hand not still pressing her to him slipped from its place in fisting the pillow beside her head to between the two and began unbuttoning the shirt she wore.
He needed to feel her skin against his. He craved to feel every inch of her. To mark every inch of her. To hear her moan and scream and wither beneath him. He needed these things as much as he needed to breathe. He needed to be closer.
Her hands wandered up to his hair and pulled gently. He felt the tremor that ran down her spine as he found that special spot on her neck. He attacked it with teeth, and tongue, and harsh sucking. The moans that slipped past her lips vibrated through him and granted his very soul pleasure. He needed more.
And more he got as his hand finally undid the last button. His hand came to support her lower back to help keep her hips against his as he sat up with her in his lap. The shifting from a horizontal position to a vertical one grinded her hips against his in the most delicious way. He could feel his patience waning as he pulled the shift off her as if it had offended him.
Closer. Feeling her slipping from his lap his hands quickly pulled her hips back against his. Although it was no use. The silk of his pants just kept forcing her to  slide.
“It will just be for a moment.” She whispered the reassurance to him before pulling away from him entirely. He didn’t like it. Faster than he had ever done before he stood and removed his pants before climbing back atop her. While he removed his only barrier she removed her last and threw her panties on top of his discarded pants.
Closer. It wasn’t as loud as Hannibal grinded his cock against her slick opening. He nipped at her collar bone and chest relentlessly. She knew what he needed. He knew what he needed, but he needed permission first. Permission she did not hesitate to provide.
“Bite me, Hannibal.” Those three words opened a floodgate in his mind. He bit down on her breast. Her head pushed back against the pillow as her back arched her breast into his mouth. Helplessly, her hips bucked up to grind against his cock. She had no control over it. A fact Hannibal knew and used to his advantage. With each bite and bruise he left on her she bucked against him, coating him more and more with her slick.
By the time Hannibal pulled back to breathe she had thoroughly soaked his cock and her slick had begun dripping down onto the sheets. With one final closer reverberating through his mind he pushed inside her. Hannibal wished he could say he was gentle with it, even with the very generous coating of her arousal Hannibal was simply too big to enter her as roughly and as quickly as he did without causing discomfort to her. Discomfort that was voiced through the sharp sound of a hiss as she sucked in a quick breath and tensed.
He shushed her gently and rested more of his body weight on her knowing that it would often help ground her. Delicately he cupped her face and placed kisses along her jawline and up to her lips. Despite wanting nothing more than to thrust and grind wildly against her he controlled himself. It was the least he could do after his demonstration of his lack of control. He held himself buried to the hilt, hips pushed flush against hers as he waited for permission from her once again.
After a deep breath or two she ran her nails along his back, gently up either side of his spine exactly how she knew drove him crazy. A test. She did this over and over again testing his patience when he did not want to use it. Once she deemed him in control, she clenched around him. Hard. 
That clench had been what he was waiting for as Hannibal pulled nearly completely out and slammed back in with a force that moved her up the bed. He couldn’t have that. Sliding his arm under her back, across her wings, he gripped her shoulder and held her to him as he thrust again and again. Each moan and soft gasp from her lips was like a melody, weaving its way through the room, enticing and captivating Hannibal, a symphony just for his ears.
As Hannibal was thrusting wildly but slowly, taking the time to gauge her reaction to each new spot he touched as he desperately searched for something. Amara had her neck bared for him. A temptation he could not resist. On the side he had been so gentle with previously, leaving a trail of gentle kisses earlier before the sun had begun to rise, he bit down.  His teeth sinking into the flesh giving him a pleasure he believed to be unmatchable. That was until he found the spot he had been searching for.
As soon as he had found his target her nails dug into his back. Marking his flesh in return as she very nearly screamed his name. Nearly screaming isn’t enough. He couldn’t stop the growl that rumbled from deep within his chest as his jaw tightened on her neck and his hips began moving faster than what she could keep up with. Now that he knew where his target was he would be damned if he missed it even once.
Amara was aware that she was simply along for the ride at this point. She clawed at him helplessly in an attempt to ground herself as he held her so tightly to him she had difficulty breathing. He held her so closely that she could feel every sound in his chest that he would kill as it attempted to make its way up his throat. He had always preferred to listen to her sounds rather than his own. He had once told her that her sounds of pleasure were more pleasing to him than any sound any instrument could produce.
Amara, in a desperate attempt to hold off her orgasm decided to cling to Hannibal. Her legs raised and locked around his hips. She made the wrong decision. The new position of her hips allowed Hannibal to not only thrust against that spot inside her with more force but now it allowed the head of his cock to kiss her cervix. After the mere second thrust she came with a scream of Hannibal’s name, her back unable to arch into him any more than she already was yet trying anyway.
He slowed, showing her momentary mercy. He could feel the sting on his back of her marks. Wearing her marks gave him pleasure. He needed more. Regardless of whether or not she was ready for more, his thrusts picked up speed again. She withered and squirmed beneath him as he quickly overwhelmed and overstimulated her.
“Just one more.” The words quietly tumbled from his lips. She knew he wasn’t just talking about one more orgasm. He wanted another mark on his body. A sign to show everyone he was not theirs. Just as his marks showed the world that she was not theirs either.
Amara just managed to scrounge up enough composure to latch her lips onto his neck. Her teeth scraping against his pulse allowed a moan to slip past his lips as he quickly became putty in her hands. He needed this. He needed to bear her marks. He needed the constant connection and sense of closeness to her that her marks brought him no matter how far apart they may physically be that day.
Amara, seizing the opportunity to drive Hannibal mad, took great pleasure in sucking multiple marks onto his neck and teasingly grazing her teeth over him yet never biting down. She could feel Hannibal’s control slipping. Each brush of her blunt teeth and of her sharp canines coming so close to sinking in, brought him closer to his end. 
Hannibal knew he wouldn’t last much longer while she was having her fun so he brought his hand down and played with her clit. The attention to her clit was the last little push she needed to fall into that blissful abyss once again. Her mouth being so close to Hannibal’s flesh, so tantalizing. In her haze of pleasure she hadn’t realized that she finally bit down in the junction between Hannibal’s neck and shoulder until her mouth was flooded with the rich taste of blood.
For Hannibal, the pain, the erotic act of your lover sinking their teeth into you, was what finally pushed him over the edge. As if he was only close enough to satisfy the darkness within him when she had her jaws fastened around him. His hips slowed to a grind as he emptied the last bit of his cum into her. Despite the sweat and heat Hannibal did not dare more from her. Even as she removed her teeth from his flesh and allowed her head to fall back onto the pillow, she didn’t dare move to push him away.
It took longer than if there were more space between the two but eventually they caught their breaths. A quick glance to the clock sitting on the nightstand showed it to be nearly 7 o’clock. He didn’t have to be in the office today until 10 so he was happy that he had plenty of time for aftercare. It took him a while to find the willpower to pull himself out of her and even longer to find the strength to pull away from her and finally allow her to breath unobstructed.
With a quick kiss to her forehead he got up and made his way to the bathroom, allowing her a few minutes to herself as he started the shower and made sure it was the right temperature. He was about to return to the bedroom to collect you when Will entered with you in his arms. 
“Will, I was not aware you were up.” Hannibal addressed his other partner.
“I wasn’t until you woke me.” Will grumbled, not happy about being woken up this early nor being excluded from the fun, as he carefully placed Amara down on her feet but not letting go of her since her legs were still shaky.
“Sorry. I would have gotten you but Hannibal was being needy.” Amara was quick to throw Hannibal to the metaphorical wolves all with a playful smile. Not amused by her words but always by her, Hannibal merely raised an eyebrow at her with a fond smile on his face. She got a chuckle from Will, albeit a still groggy one, but getting anything besides a complaint from him this early is a success in her books.
“Next time I will make more of an effort to pull myself away from her to get you Will.” Hannibal apologized before inviting them both into the shower with him.
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tosuckmyweenis · 1 year
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oinko; new here btw!! i love ur content sm,, most of my lil drafts are just heavily inspired by ur works, works of art istg! >=]
anyways i asked around a few other authors here asw cuz i just reactivated tumblr and im new to re ff writing haha..
i figured the nanny x leon would consist of leon ruthlessly talking shit about his wife lol, just my issues speaking haha.
Welcome back to tumblr!
I think you'll definitely fit in around here!!
Ahhh! I love that! the fact that I've inspired someone else to write some stuff is just
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NO BECAUSE I THINK THE SAME.
Absolutely ruthless about everything wife does(or doesn't do)
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Thrusting into you roughly from behind, the counter digging into your hips, likely to leave bruises tomorrow
"I come home every day and there's always shit piled up in front of the door, toys all over the goddamn place" He growls into your ear
"All I want is for her to tidy up but she can't even manage that" his voice heavy with annoyance
He slaps your ass hard with his open hand, the sound of his palm against your skin echoing around the room, the sting leaving a burning heat in its wake.
"She hasn't spread her legs for me in months, can't even get her to open her mouth once in a while either"
Moaning as you push back, arching your back as his pace increases, a soft sob escaping your lips.
"And now I'm stuck with that. No fun in the bedroom and she has the nerve to give me attitude as well after everything I do for her"
He grabs your hair, pulling back on it roughly, a strangled gasp leaving you as he moves faster.
"But you, always so willing to bend over, to be my little fuck toy, you don't even talk back. You're so perfect for me"
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pennyserenade · 2 years
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THE BELLS THAT NEVER RANG
pairing: javier peña x named oc, javier peña x female oc rating: t (no explicit sex but language and content is 18+ regardless) tags: language, mentions of puking, a little bit of angst word count: 2k+ summary: a look at the day javier never made it to that chapel. a/n notes: this is the beginning of my new long fic, fade into you. i’ve been toying with the idea of something like this for a long, long, long time and i’m really happy to be sharing it with all of you now. i hope you enjoy this prologue! also, i know that gif is really random but i’m working with what tumblr is giving me lol. re-edited: 11/15/2023
prologue, fade into you
There is a chapel in Laredo that has seen and heard more than any other building in town, save maybe for the bar which sets not even ten minutes from it. It stands erect in the middle of the town, crafted by holy, dedicated hands many, many, many years ago. It probably stood there long before Texas even belonged to America. Many say that the entirety of Laredo had been built around it. On sunny days, it gleams brightly, like Kingdom has come and shun down on the very building itself.
Today is not Sunday; it’s a Saturday. Lorraine has always wanted her wedding on a Saturday so she could have that chapel. Her and Javi have both gone there as long as they’d been alive, as have most of the people in Laredo. Because Javier understands women to be strangely sentimental sometimes, he hadn’t questioned the importance of her wanting to get that chapel. He figured she liked the place so much because she had spent so much time there, and because he had, too.
He doesn't attend church much anymore - hasn't since his mother had passed - but because Lorraine wanted to get married there, they’d been made to go the past few months to prove they were devout. Just last Sunday, they had sat side by side in one of the pews, listening to the too long mass amongst people they'd known forever, and he had realized then what this chapel meant. She had told him after that it had been nice getting acquainted with the town again. It was words said passingly, full of earnest, heartbreaking innocence. What Lorraine didn’t know when she said that was that she had caused the beginning of the end for them both.
It feels harsh to think, but Javier knows it to be the truth. There’s this thing about Lorraine, a thing he has been pointedly trying to ignore since he got with her, and it’s that she’s made for Laredo. The unfortunate thing about him is that he’s always been trying to flee Laredo, ever since the moment he could form enough words to spell out the desire. He hasn't been dishonest with her about it, and she wasn’t entirely dishonest with him about her intentions with it, either. She had said they could move when they got the right funds to do so, if he still wanted it by the time they got there. It was just that last Sunday, when he sat next to her, he had realized that Lorraine was so made for Laredo that when that one day came, they’d stay in Laredo, no matter how he felt. He knew it to be true as it was cruel. So true, in fact, that he woke at five this morning to escape it.
It is noon now and he has put enough distance between him and Laredo that no one can talk him into coming back. He’s learned that he’s in a little town called Rockwall, and he won’t make it on time, not even if he speeds. It was infinitely important to him that he’d do that, go as far as possible and wait as long as he could to pick up a phone, so that no one, least of all Lorraine, could convince him that there’s still time.
He picks up the payphone outside of the gas station and dials the only number he has ever bothered to remember: his father’s. It rings once, twice, and then he hears it; the labored, worried breathing of his father.
“Mijo,” Chucho says on the other line, not like a question, but a statement.
“Yeah,” Javier says quietly. He takes a nervous glance around the parking lot, trying to see if anyone is listening. “Pop, listen--”
“Where are you?”
“I’m going to tell you.”
“You should be here.”
“I know but--”
“Everyone is worried sick. You’re supposed to be at the chapel in an hour.”
“I’m not--”
“Did you get drunk last night? Do you need me to come pick you up somewhere? I never heard you come in.”
“I--”
“Lorraine has been calling, asking after you. I didn’t want to panic her and tell her that I couldn’t find you. I suggest--”
“I’m not going to marry her, Pop.” The words slur together, said so fast they’re hardly audible. Except Chucho must’ve heard them, because he’s no longer trying to talk over Javi anymore. “I know what I’m doing isn’t right. I know. I just can’t do it.” The silence on the other end makes Javier swallow harshly. His palms begin to sweat. He’d prepared this speech on the way over here, except none of it is coming out with as much confidence as he’d planned for it to. “I’m gonna be…I have this paper for the DEA. That’s where I’m going. That’s what I’m going to do.”
Still on the other line, his father says nothing.
“I’ll call you from the next town.”
Javier hangs the phone back on the hook, not bothering to wait for another answer. He takes another nervous glance around. The parking lot is nearly empty, except for the lone gas station attendant smoking at the edge of the property, and the lady working the counter inside. He feels so damn nervous he could puke.
He pulls his wallet out of his suit pants and walks inside the little store, the thrill of the bell above the door alerting the woman. She looks up at him, but seems unbothered by his presence.
“Can I have five dollars in nickels?” he asks her. He holds the bill up in front of her.
She raises her eyebrows. “That’s a lot of nickels.”
“I’ve got a long way to go,” he tells her. “Do you sell maps?”
“In the back.” She points her finger to a little rack. “Just over there. Where are you headed?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I think Virginia.” He lays the five dollar bill on the counter and she takes it. Opening the drawer of the cash register, she says, “And what’s there?”
“A job, I hope.”
He figures, by the slow way she moves, that her collecting that many nickels might take a bit, so he goes to where she pointed, and picks the first map on the rack. On his way back, he grabs a bag of chips and a Coke. “These too,” he tells her. “And a package of Marlboros.”
She glances up from where she’s counting individual nickels. “A bit young to be a smoker, aren’t you?’
“Twenty-three,” he offers.
She seems to think that is enough, for she says, “The reds?”
“Yeah," he nods.
She hands him a handful of nickels, which he places awkwardly into his slacks, before receiving another three full tubes of them. He puts these in his other pocket while she turns around and gets him the cigarettes from the display behind her.
“What’s the occasion?” She asks.
“Huh?”
“The suit.”
Javier looks down at himself. “Oh. I was supposed to get married today.”
The lady stops what she’s doing and turns around. “What happened there?”
“I’m not quite sure," he says. The woman’s gaze seems to pierce through him after he says that, trying to figure him out. “She told me she was with child and she wasn’t,” he lies, to make her stop.
Her eyes grow sympathetic. “Oh, hon.”
He licks his lips, growing uncomfortable. “How much?” She looks at him quizzically. He nods to the stuff on the counter. “For all of it.”
She shakes her head. “Honey, you just take it all. It’s in the house, okay?”
He shakes his head. “No, really, it’s okay. Let me pay.”
“No, it’s on us today. Consider it your parting gift from all of Texas.” She takes on a matronly appearance now--with wide, sympathetic eyes--despite the fact that he doesn't imagine she's much older than himself. “You just be safe out there on the road.”
Too tired to fight it, Javier smiles politely. “Thank you.”
The woman raises her hand, looking at him like he's the saddest thing she's ever seen. “Bye now.”
When he goes back to his truck, he disposes of the nickels in the cup holder before opening a package of the cigarettes. He throws the map in the glove box, shuffles around various pieces of papers until he finds a lighter. Popping one of the cigarettes in his mouth and lighting it, Javier rests his head against the headrest. His shaky fingers find reserve in the activity of merely holding the stick of nicotine his father had warned him against. His entire body finds comfort in the act of inhaling the nicotine in.
He knew he’d need one of these before he made the next call.  
Javier flicks some ashes off the end of the cigarette into the ashtray before leaning down and to grab the phone book out of the floorboard on the passenger side. He flips it open on the seat and begins to search for Lorraine’s home-line and the chapel’s line. When he finds them both, he rips out the pages and stuffs them into his pockets. He finishes the cigarette before he finds the courage to go to the payphone again.
This time the lady inside is watching with her sympathetic eyes. He smiles at her, but it’s one of those half smiles that can’t ever reach his eyes.
The first number he calls is Lorraine’s home. It rings and rings and rings, just as Javier had expected it would. Lorraine’s mom has been a bit anal about the decorating for the wedding, so he’d figured she’d be at the chapel early to decorate. Lorraine’s father is working. He’s always working, being the Sheriff of the town and all. It’s a title Javier has always felt the man took with too much pride.
Javier grabs the other paper in his pocket, puts in the nickel, and dials the church’s line. It rings only once before Javier hears a high voice. The woman on the line delivers the little rehearsed message, telling him he’s called the chapel, and gives the usual spiel about hours.
When she pauses to ask what he wants, he says, “I was just wondering if Lorraine Perkins is there?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, she is,” the woman responds. Is she mad? He thinks she is?
“Is it possible I might talk to her?”
“Let me check.”
The line is quiet for a moment. Then the lady picks the phone back up. “May I ask who’s calling?”
“Javier Peña.”
“The groom,” the woman says. Javier bites at his lip.
“The groom,” he says.
“She’ll be right with you, Mr. Peña.”
He stands still, waiting. He tries to rehearse what he prepared once more, a sad little “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. The lady in the store has stopped watching him, he notices, glancing up.
“Javi,” Lorraine says. Her voice is so full of warmth, it takes the words from him. “Jav? What are you doin’, callin’ here? Not nervous are you? I told you not to get cold feet last night!”
Suddenly, he feels violently sick.
“Javi?” Lorraine asks.
“Lorraine, I can’t do it.”
She grows silent just like his father had. Then she says, laughingly, “Jav, don’t play like that. It's not very funny.”
“I’m not. I wouldn’t--”
“That’s not very fair,” is what she responds with. He forgot how quick she is, how smart. How calculated, in the way all young women are taught to be with men. He forgot about all the reasons he never fought with her, all the reasons that made him believe being her husband was the right decision. Lorraine knows exactly where she’s going before anyone else. He can image the way she’s standing now, her small frame too rigid, with the arm not holding up the phone wrapped around her. She looks like a little girl, because that’s how she gets when she’s angry or sad. Like a defeated child no one wants to tell no. He thought it’d be easier if he couldn’t see her, but it’s not.
“I know,” is what he says in response. “Listen Lorraine, I’m really sorry. I understand this is really fucked up to do to you and you don’t deserve it. I know that but--”
Lorraine hangs up the phone before he can finish. He stands, halfway between words, unsure of what to make of it.
The man who was smoking at the edge of the property now stands by the doors of the gas station. He looks at Javier knowingly. Javi knows that he’d been listening. The lady at the counter is looking again, too. An audience.
Javier hangs the phone back on the hook, his stomach churning.
“You okay, kid?” the man asks.
Before Javier can answer, he finds himself hurrying to bend over the curb, away from the phone.
“Oh fuck,” the man says.
Javier is too distracted emptying the contents of his stomach to notice the way the woman in the store is telling the man - who is now standing with one front in the door, and one foot out - how the ‘poor boy is having a really bad day, Jerry. Don’t just stand there and watch him! Help!'
That chapel stands in the middle of Laredo, with warm April sun beating against its white paint. Tomorrow the town will hold mass there, and they’ll talk about all the things that didn’t happen the day before, and all the things that did. Javier will be out of Texas. Life will go on outside of that chapel, and inside of it, just as it has for many, many, many years. A new Laredo will form and he won't be there to see it.
But Javier Peña will think of that chapel many times in the years to come.
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blackjack-15 · 9 months
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no you know what let's keep going
TINA MY BELOVED
EBRA MY BELOVED
every second counts, huh? alright what's gonna waste our time this ep
RICHIE FATHERHOOD MOMENTS LET'S GO
and look at that! he respects the other parent, he talks her up to his daughter...and of course the ex-wife is talking about child support to/around the child. fabulous.
richie, despite his faults as a person, is a really good dad. let's have more of that? please?
"i just needed a break [from taylor swift]" and oh, do we all. tumblr blacklist can only do so much
syd calling? he spending too much time cleaning?
NOPE
"did you really give me a fake number?" oh. what a delight.
oh this little passive aggressive "should my feelings be hurt" thing? yeah what was she, the mean girl in school who just thought of herself as "friends with everyone"?
"mm. no no no. that must have been a mistake" he leads with the truth (the affirmative mm), then corrects to a lie -- a lie in the passive voice, no less. if he was any more removed from her there'd be a court order involved
wow, pulling the "i know where you sleep so you can't run from me" card. Romance. sparkle sparkle.
this conversation is like my local high school. no chemistry.
"just walk me through giving me a fake number" so she's got issues with being told "no". definite high school mean girl
"it wa a mistake. i'm sorry. *beat* i'm sorry" "thank you. i really appreciate that" we've reached the point in the evening where i tell claire to go to hell. earlier than expected!
"is it okay that i have your number or did you really not want me to have it?"
sigh.
see, this is a question best answered by the fact that HE GAVE YOU THE WRONG EFFING NUMBER. millions of drunk dudebros at bars have managed to parse that information and figure out what it means. it's either escaping her -- unlikely -- or she absolutely doesn't care, and is asking now, after she's beat acceptance into him, to be like "see i asked i'm a good person"
also his pause before he agrees apologetically? mm.
"okay say that one more time" a second go to hell! she could enter the hall of fame if she keeps this up.
"are you busy today?" *various carmy noises of hesitation, unsure how to say 'yes' now that she's very neatly placed him a position of apologizing for the guilt of disappointing her* "okay can you like not make this weird?"
i want y'all to know i had to actually step away and breathe. further post to come i need to scream about this, and not in the fun way
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feverinfeveroutfic · 10 months
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kinktober all year, 2024
i’m so sorry, but-
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it had to be done.
after the fiasco of kinktober 2023, and i had to regroup with blood and wine, i am continuing to lick my wounds from the humiliation. i mean, a genuinely kinky person was all around ignored during a kink-fest, like nothing about that makes any sense whatsoever. worse, i don’t even know why i was ignored; i mean, i have my theories but they’re all hard to confirm. i really don't understand why i was given such a cold shoulder this year when i dropped the first one shot.
it’s supposed to be a community and yet, i saw right away that it isn’t. “don’t ‘yuck’ someone’s ‘yum’” feels like a naïve joke at this point because all i could think leading up to the 18th when i pulled the plug was “gee, sorry i’m not good and sexy enough for you guys. i’m terribly sorry that this is torturous for you, there's literally nothing i can do about it so i'll see myself out before this is done so you don't have to be exposed to my bullshit for a while.”
god, my sexuality is just… it’s too much. it’s way too much and i feel trapped inside of it. i'm helpless to rid of it even as i genuinely hate it so much. i genuinely wish i didn't have a sexuality because it's useless. no one likes it or wants to know about it. i’m way too much. i'm too kinky and yet i'm not sexual enough. all dressed up with nowhere to go.
and yet, i can’t let them win. these totally unsexy, borderline gross, borderline sexist, pregnancy-loving scoundrels who inexplicably dominated this year couldn’t write a compelling story if it saved the world; they cannot continue to act like they're the only ones who can do it. there has to be a place for me; there just has to be. i may hate my sexuality more than anything and find it ugly and disgusting and i'm pretty sure it's the last thing you'll ever see before you die, but it’s like the inevitability of death: you can’t escape it. plus, after the last couple of months, i don’t really need some hundreds of people to kiss my ass to feel like the queen of kinktober: i don’t need fandom, and i don’t think i ever have needed it, either.
so, i give you kinktober all year.
now, just to make it easier on myself—mainly because i honestly have no clue how 2024 will play out (it could be the worst year of my life for all i know, especially if this year was anything to go by), but also because i have wips to write—these will be sent out on a weekly basis starting new year's day, giving us a grand total of 52 one shots. aside from the first one, i’ll keep the prompts a surprise just to keep my very personal preferences to myself, but i will give away titles, though. i'll also keep the participants under wraps until i post them for the same reason (you know alex will be in like... one or two, though).
yes, this is going on ao3 because i’ve been getting really, really tired of tumblr and really all social media lately. no, i don’t care if you join me or not because it’s a holistic thing that’s really just meant for myself; you can if you want, though. “i’m not like them, but i can pretend.”
“the wandering jew” (this one, i've already shared; it's my water kink)
“django tango”
“heroin”
“five minutes”
“corduroy”
“poison ivy”
“chillblains”
“he’s gotta have it”
“bats in the attic”
“midnight rambler”
“pebble beach”
“chiaroscuro”
“this kiss”
“disco volante”
“seashells”
“deer in the headlights”
“scarlet”
“walk with me”
“have a cigar”
“poison whiskey”
“i think i lost my headache”
“touch too much”
“pearly dew drops”
“still crazy after all these years”
“enjoy every sandwich”
“let’s talk about cars”
“twin flames”
“as serious as a heart attack”
“trial by fire”
“he didn’t”
“flannel”
“side street”
“be with me”
“heart and lungs”
“dodge the bambula”/“jackin’ it in san diego"
“the razor’s edge”
“she likes surprises”
“black coral”
“black nightshade”
“seduce and destroy”
“pick a number”
“all that glitters”
“…like clockwork”
“sabra cadabra”
“world of brass”
“every night i burn”
“one of these nights”
“aquamarine”
“the beast”
“dream with me”
“dionysus”
“time has come today”
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