#and trying to make small changes
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elsartzz Ā· 2 years ago
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I really love your art! your style is so pretty, it's like eye candy fr. you're such a skilled artist! also, I wanted to mention that I saw a couple of your thoughts posts and I wanted to suggest possibly investing into a journal to write them down into insteadā€”I've found it helps to get the negative thoughts out, and then you're not broadcasting them to random strangers on the internet. not trying to throw shade, just genuinely concerned for your mental health. I really do enjoy your mha and genshin art, and it makes me happy when you post it! I love how you added both kaeya and klee in your recent contribution to the barbie meme lol. I hope you're having a good day, and if not, I hope things start looking up real soon! stay safe, and don't be too hard on yourself, alright? you're an awesome person šŸ©· this is your sign to keep going
Hello!! Thank you so much for the kind words, Iā€™m happy you like my art :))
Regarding the comment abt my thoughts posts ā€“ aw thanks for your concern! But first off, itā€™s actually been a while since I posted those (I checked and I think it was more than a year back? same w my mha art tbhā€“ either youā€™ve been following for a while or you mustā€™ve scrolled a lot LOL either way Iā€™m impressed.) and I did delete a bunch of older emo posts and shifted some stuff to a more private blog, cos I realised it wasnā€™t too healthy to post everything online.
And I do have a journal!! It helps me a lot to get my thoughts out of my head and reason through emotional issues. I highly recommend keeping a journal too (even though I havenā€™t updated mine in a few days lol).
As for why I have the tendency to post more personal thoughts onlineā€¦ sometimes I want to share about smth ppl might find relevant, and sometimes I simply want the space to quickly vent about things that I canā€™t share with people in real life (for whatever reason). And I only do it cos I know Iā€™m a small account (half my followers are bots) and it doesnā€™t really ā€œendangerā€ my reputation and all that.
Itā€™s a bit like shouting off a mountain or into a void, except sometimes the void speaks back and is kinda somewhat decent to you.
And occasionally people have replied!! (not on Tumblr tho lol) to share help/advice/support, which has been really nice.
But yes, Iā€™m aware venting on the internet is probably not the healthiest and can be potentially dangerous as well. Also maybe itā€™s a bit of a turnoff if an artist you like keeps complaining about how miserable they are lol.
Donā€™t worry Iā€™ll be sure to keep to myself more since my account is growing a bit, and draw a line between how much and what I share on the internet. Iā€™m aware of Internet safety!!
ā€¦but just wanna say Iā€™m probably not gonna stop random posting about unimportant things in life like how horrible my sweaty palms are lol theyā€™re the literal worst FRRRR šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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bamsara Ā· 8 months ago
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I think that one thing people fail to understand is that unsolicited literary criticism coming from an online stranger who is reading with no knowledge of what the authors intended goal is, is not going to be received the same as say: the authors beta reader or friends who know what the authors intended goal and has the sufficient knowledge and input to help the author reach that desired outcome.
"But I'm only trying to be helpful" How do I know you have the knowledge and literary skill for you to be able to actaully do that when we don't know each other and you are essentially a stranger to me? Are you applying this criticism based out of personal biased experience and desire to see the story or characterization be driven in another direction or tweaked, or do you know the author's intentions for the character? If the story is incomplete, are you basing your criticism of a character on the incomplete narration with only partial information available of them or are you building up a report until the story's completion? Did the author provide you with the information needed to make a fully informed criticism?
Have you discussed with the author what their plans are or are you assuming them based off the narration, especially if the narration is proven or implied to be unreliable or missing key points of the plot? Are you unbiased enough to help them reach their desired outcome for the characters and story regardless of your personal feelings towards the characters/antagonists and setting? Can you handle being told your specific input isn't wanted because you're a reader and/or have no written anything relating to their genre or topic? Do you understand and respect that the author's personal experiences might influence their writing and make it different than how you would have done it personally? Do you understand if an author only wants input from a specific demographic relating to their story?
If it's for fanfiction or other hobby media, are you holding a free hobby to a professional standard? Are you trying to give criticism because you feel like the author has produced 'subpar job performance' of their fic? Are you viewing their work as a personal intimate outlet or something that must conform with mass media? Are you applying rules and guidelines when the fic is shared for simple sharing sake? Is your criticism worded appropriately and focused on the parts where the author has requested input on rather than a general dismissal and or disapproval?
Have you put yourself in a place where you assumed you have the input needed for the story to evolve better, or have you asked what the author needs and what they're having trouble with? Can you handle having your criticism rejected if the author decides their story doesn't need the change and not take it as a personal offense against your character? Are you crossing that boundary because you think you are doing the author a favor? Are you trying to be helpful, or do you just want to be?
I think sometimes when people hear authors go 'please don't give me unsolicited writing advice or criticism' they automatically chalk it up to 'this author doesn't want ANY constructive feedback on their stuff at all' and not "i already have trusted individuals who will help me with my writing goals and- hey i don't know you like that, please stop acting so overly familiar with me'
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hinamie Ā· 10 months ago
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off on an adventure ! this au turns 1 week old today
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
pose ref [x]
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 1 year ago
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If I was in a lucid dream with a ghost, I would simply impress them with my blunt rolling skills
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sergle Ā· 9 months ago
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang Ā· 9 months ago
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izan being 1 in the worst boyfriend is not surprising, tho in my heart I can fix him (I can't, he's mentally unstable, I'm delulu)
u think u can do headcanons about Izana in a relationship? explaining the good part and the bad part please? :')
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Sure! These all take place in the bad timelines and I've split them up into the good and bad (theres also a slightly nsfw one on the end)
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Good
Sees as his family, you're all he's ever wanted and he loves you deeply for that.
Likes to take you out on dates, he enjoys showing you off a bit as well as seeing you happy with the different places he takes you.
He's very loyal and takes his promises to you very seriously.
Had no idea how to flirt at first, would just walk up to you and be like "go on a date with me?" (Luckily he has pretty privilege so it still worked).
Is very protective of you, walks with his arm wrapped around you to keep them safe.
Has played you songs on his guitar before
The first time he has a date with you he takes you to an aquariumĀ 
Secretly prefers home cooking to anything in restaurants, loves anything you make for him and tries to cook a few things for you back.Ā Ā 
Although he isn't great at first, he does actually get better with flirting and using pet names as time goes on.Ā 
Takes you to Shinichiro's grave to introduce you to him
He loves any gifts you give him, he's very sentimental and just likes that you actually got him something (he will frequently cover up how touched he is by this though).
Frequently refers to you as "his" like "my girl/boy", "my y/n", "my love"Ā 
Finds it hard to sleep when you're not beside him and loves cuddling up with you.
Absolutely adores you
Bad
Is very possessive towards you, you should be his and only his, why do you need anyone else when you have him?
Doesn't want you to have any male friends and gets jealous pretty easily
Will kill any guy who he thinks looks at you too long. Kakucho, Kisaki and his S62 are the only ones he trusts around you.
Has some of his gang members discreetly follow you anytime you leave the house for "safety"
He's frequently gone for long periods of time because of his work.Ā 
Comes home covered in blood sometimesĀ 
nsfw
Likes to mark you up as being his, leaving rough kisses and bites on your neck and chest, to show others that you belong to him.
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mohntilyet Ā· 4 months ago
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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wandixx Ā· 4 months ago
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Ok it closes out on me when I tried typing it the first time-
Anyway, I'm a sucker for shock value ones, just so funny to me, so how about M'gann being nervous about introducing bf danny and it happens at an inconvenient time! Could go ghost royalty, ancient of space or anything, hell ghost as dragons would be pretty funny, up to you though!
I'm not sure if I did a good job at this, but I didn't want you to wait too long and real life is keepimg me busier than expected, so for now, it's here. I may continue it one day (I also have different version of fill for this prompt, because neither idea felt right, so if you'd like to see I too, just let me know whatever way is most convenient to you)
This wasn't supposed to happen like that. M'gann didn't have a super detailed plan on how it was supposed to happen, but even her vague (thought and rethought every night) ideas were anything but this. It was supposed to be a calm, low-stakes situation. Maybe even make it look like an accidental meeting, Team in civies hanging out around Happy Harbour, bumping into Danny and then she'd just introduced him, perhaps adding ā€˜btw, he is my boyfriendā€™ almost like an afterthought. This seemed like the best possible scenario.
This was also, as expected with the way hero life is, the exact opposite of what actually happened.
Of course, it didnā€™t start with anything heralding the absolute disaster this day had to become. Kinda accidentally the Team stumbled upon something between a cave and a basement, and in it a group of people, who decided to perform a summoning of a genie so they couldā€¦ wish for stuff. They didnā€™t even look like cultists or villains of any sort, just a group of random adults from seemingly very different backgrounds. Mā€™gann had a really hard time understanding what actually brought them together other than their wishes.
Which was actually pretty useful when it came to fighting them, because nobody really cared about their fellow summoner, just trying to save their own butt. She kinda wished more of their opponents were so incompetent.
Though, she spoke too soon because in the excitement of the fight, somehow all of them didnā€™t realize that one or two of the summonersā€¦ actually managed to finish a summoning. It was honestly a little bit embarrassing.
But, it was too late to dwell on all that, as right above the summoning circle appeared a circle in a worryingly familiar shade of green.
Of course, this one time she didnā€™t have any equipment from Danny, had to be when the Team encountered a ghost.
Ghost in question was a beautiful woman, with long hair covering one of her eyes, in a blue outfit that was related to one of Earth cultures, but Mā€™gann didnā€™t know which, and a bunch of bracelets on her wrists. Martian could make a hazard guess on who it was, based on the stories Danny told her.
ā€œWe donā€™t have time for explanations, I think I know who this is, if Iā€™m right for the love of everything thatā€™s dear to you, donā€™t say the word ā€˜wishā€™ out loudā€ she demanded over the Mindlink.
Before she finished, Artemis took silver tape from somewhere and slapped a piece of it over Wallyā€™s mouth. Mā€™gann understood the sentiment but stillā€¦ it was a little bit too nuclear option.
Desiree (if it was her) didnā€™t attack anyone, looking a bit confused, giving Team a moment of reprieve to plan and for Kid Flash to make sure none of the summoners could make whatever wish they wanted either. Also with the use of silver tape. Djinnā€™s were always tricky.
M'gann used this moment of everyone getting their bearings to curse herself for not bringing any ghost weapons this time. Any other mission, Team or not, she had something on her but today? Today she had nothing.
Excluding the summoning engraved into clips holding her cape but it was kinda last resort. It wouldn't annihilate everything in one mile radius or something but she didn't want to drag Danny there if he was during a test, other ghost fight or something. She knew better than anyone that he didnā€™t need more distractions.
Conner crashed into a wall right next to her. Artemis seemed to lose her cool when none of her arrows seemed to reach the ghost while Robin was trying to make some counter plans with Kaldur. They couldn't do a thing to Desiree and it was a matter of seconds before she stopped entertaining them and went to the city. Itā€¦ would end badly, most likely. Danny would prefer to get involved before it got that far. Yeahā€¦
She really wished she didnā€™t have to call.
ā€œI have an idea, cover for me for a minute or twoā€
ā€œBold of you to assume we can stop her from anythingā€
ā€œI believe in you Wally. Just distract herā€
ā€œMy water attacks seem to be effective weapon against herā€
ā€œThatā€™s aster! What do you plan to do, M'gann?ā€
ā€œSummon another ghostā€
She expertly ignored yelling that followed, taking the golden clip off of her cape. She held fabric in place with absentminded use of telekinesis, while she focused on an engraved pattern. Danny's summoning circle wasn't actually too complicated or intricate but she needed to do it just right. And frankly, she just liked looking at it. Physical proof that her boyfriend would be there if she needed it. Drawn representation of who he is, the deepest and truest parts of his soul written in the language that only Universe itself could fully understand.
And it was beautiful. Absolutely incredible. Much better than Desiree's circle, thank you very much.
Mā€™gann dropped to her knees and grabbed leftover chalk from previous summoning and crouched to quickly draw Danny's seal. She had a lot of practice from all the times she doodled it on a whim just to get something of him with her when she missed him the most. She rarely actually summoned him, again, it was difficult to align their schedules, but she was very familiar with the first step.
And it was really easy from there.
She placed the clip in the middle of the circle, shapeshifted one of her nails to get a bit of blood on the chalk and leaned back.
After a careful, deep breath, she started an incantation, putting as much power in her voice as she could.
ā€œI call upon you guard of Amity Park, I call upon you dearest child of the Ice, I call upon you one favored by the Time, I call upon you vanquisher of the Fear, I call upon you subduer of the King, I call upon you defender and the guide, I call upon Phantom, both worlds beloved childā€
Circle erupted in green light, putting a momentary pause to the fight. Mā€™gann was still blinking spots away when a figure flung itself out of the summoning circle, right at the Desiree.
ā€œWhat the fuck?!ā€
Only after the first punch was thrown did Danny turn back to her, with his usual, somehow both gallant and bashful smile, that without fault made her knees get a little weaker. She smiled back.
ā€œHello Starlightā€ he greeted, sounding almost casual.
ā€œStarlight?ā€
ā€œHi Angel. Nice of you to drop byā€ she answered in the same manner. Wally tried to yell from behind the duck tape.
ā€œAngel?! M'gann, who is he? Who is she?!ā€
ā€œI will always come if you callā€ he said without any doubt, suddenly as serious as if he was sharing information that could break or make the world.
It certainly worked like that to her world. She actually melted a little on the inside.
ā€œI knowā€
ā€œActually, that's kinda cute. I still have no idea who this is, but you go girlā€
ā€œI feel like it's not the right time Artemisā€
ā€œNot to interruptā€¦ whatever this is, but the other ghost is escapingā€ Robin cut in ā€œAlso, if you want to make out afterwards, please find the room, Batman and Catwoman are traumatizing enoughā€œ
Few people snorted, while Danny blushed green. He darted back at Desiree, clearly to escape the embarrassment. Mā€™gann stood up, totally at ease now, that he was there to take care of it.
ā€œWill you need a hand? I don't have any tech but we have a trick or two up our sleeves!ā€ she asked, projecting her voice so it carried through the cavernous basement without yelling.
ā€œI'm good for now but thanks for asking!ā€
ā€œMā€™gann, can you give us anything substantial? Who is this? How do you know him?ā€
ā€œOne question at the time and let's wait until he finishes, okay?ā€œ
She cut off Mindlink before anyone agreed or protested.
ā€œMiss Martian!ā€
ā€œSoup time!ā€
With a blast of light, Desiree got sucked in and Danny landed in front of them with a proud grin.
ā€œMy job here is doneā€
ā€œIt truly is. You're getting faster tooā€
ā€œAnd thanks to who is that?ā€
ā€œYouā€
Danny sent her both an incredulous and playful glare.
ā€œOf course. I miraculously found a ways to not be a mess and don't crash through every wall on my way andā€“ā€
ā€œWell, no butā€“ā€
ā€œLet me remind you, you're not aloneā€¦ also who are you dude? And where did the other lady go?ā€ Wally asked, right after ripping the duct tape off his mouth.
ā€œOh, well, I'm Phantom, I usually work in Amity Park?ā€ he said a bit unsure, as if calling him a protector was under any question. That just wouldn't do.
ā€œHe's a hero from Amity Parkā€
ā€œThanks love. It's nice to finally meet you all. M talked a lot about you!ā€
ā€œCan't say same about you, sorryā€
ā€œThat's fine. I know M was agonizing over how to introduce me in the best way possible. I'm really happy it's finally over,ā€ he paused for a moment, with his brows furrowed ā€œDid I do good? This first impression thing?ā€
ā€œYou'reā€¦ far less imposing that I personally expected after hearing Miss Martian summoning you, butā€“ā€
ā€œMā€™gann how could you hide this from us?ā€ Conner blurted out quietly, and oh, he sounded so utterly crushed. Everyone fell silent, the playful atmosphere gone as if it had evaporated.
ā€œI never intentionally hid it. It wasn't significant enough to mention at the start and when it became important I felt like I couldn't just drop it at you during lunch or something. I always planned to tell you, there was just never the right time nor right words. I never wanted to hide it.ā€
ā€œEven just me?ā€
ā€œEspecially youā€
ā€œYou still should'veā€¦ā€
ā€œYeah, I should. I'm sorryā€
ā€œHow long ago have you met?ā€
ā€œHalf a year ago,ā€ Danny said before she managed to answer ā€œIt's all kinda my fault actually. I was really set on not getting mixed up with more hero business than I had to back then. I didn't want you or Justice League finding out about me. And when I agreed, it was already really late. I'm sure she'd told you all from the get go if I let her, I'm sorryā€
ā€œWhy wouldn't you want us to know about you?ā€
ā€œIt'sā€¦ Probably not the conversation we should have right here, over gagged wannabe cultists.ā€
ā€œValid. Let's call the cops and get going. You two have much to explainā€
ā€œAnd you're sitting eight feet apart until you do!ā€
Danny leaned in to kiss her, quick and playful, before he jumped back at the demanded distance.
ā€œWell, this still went better than at your sideā€
ā€œAbsolutelyā€
*******
Also, here is some lil arts for a longish wait, sorry again, I hope this story is yours to your expectations
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call-me-copycat Ā· 6 months ago
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Did I hear right? They animated my favorite manga panel?! (怀ļ½„`Ļ‰ļ½„Ā“)āœØ
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This is great! This is amazing! I'm so happy right now!
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brown-little-robin Ā· 2 months ago
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I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.
#Robin processes emotions on main#I WANT to get good at socializing#I used to be better and I'm now worse >:[#in some ways. in some ways I've improved (e.g. am kinder). but I used to have more confidence and an easier time staying present#now I'm always shutting down and running away#literally I leave the room and go calm down in my room#I want to learn to regulate that impulse and become a chill person to hang out with. but How#I've been struggling lately with punishing myself for running away (not physically but with like. spirals of self-recrimination)#I think one good step would be to get mindful about praising myself for small steps again. I'll change faster if im kinder to myself#also I think seeking reassurance from the people I'm around more often even if it seems silly would be good#ALSO. a major problem I'm facing is that I am living with my parents. and my little sisters. and I don't... I... it's rough.#I used to parent my 15 (then 9) y/o little sister when my parents were gone and I still struggle with feeling Responsible For Her#so every time she's a little cringe I end up feeling like it's my fault and I'm gonna be punished for it and I don't know how to deal with#ā€”how to deal with it#BIG SIGH#I'm TRYING to become a good adult who can help others rather than just living in desperate self-defensive survival mode forever#but it's so hard bro#and another issue is that I'm growing further and further apart from my parents' fundamentalist brand of Christianity#and feeling more and more incapable of making friends and bringing them to visit me. because I have to be perfect around my parents#how can I make friends if I can't offer them hospitality??#how can I be a fully realized adult if I have to hide in plain sight??#I need to move out so bad. even if I'm lonely at first I HAVE to move out#in related news my seasonal job is Over and I'm looking for full-time work! please pray for me if you're the praying type or just#send me encouraging words#that would help#<33333 I will be ok it's just a bad situation rn
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zytes Ā· 2 years ago
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somethingā€™s wrong?
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loopdile Ā· 4 months ago
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loopdile so real. i have a Vision of both siffrin and loop being Deeply Deeply Closeted Repressed Transfem and having gender envy over odile and i feel like that'd do Something to the Dynamic. Something......... Something........................... well i'm not successfully envisioning it but maybe YOU are?
i am positively plagued by loopdile gender visions!!! maybe not the exact same as you're thinking but i think you will enjoy them. walk with me, anon, through the garden of my loop gender headcanons. it's kind of a big garden but we'll get to the odile part eventually i promise.
Before they were Siffrin, Siffrin had their gender on lock: something transfem, but also tied to unique cultural elements in some way, either the specific identity or the way of thinking about it or just the particular set of presentation options. Perhaps they even started fantasy HRT! But then they forget everything, obviously, including their identity and transition plans. They decide pretty quickly that they're not a man, but none of the alternatives feel exactly correct either; if their previous identity was presented as an option, maybe it would click and they'd settle into it pretty fast, but unfortunately that is literally impossible.
So, no clear goals in mind. And because of his forgotten past, continued memory problems, and constant traveling, Siffrin starts to really value the few things he can count on to stay consistent. He'd rather wear his comfortable hat and cloak than leave them behind in favor of anything more gendered. He'd rather stick with his familiar body than risk changing it. Still, maybe there are some changes he'd be happier in the long run to have made... but the process would be stressful, and he's got enough stressful things to worry about already!
But then we get to Loop. Who has already been changed, suddenly and irrevocably and so very, very accidentally. They are not Siffrin anymore, they do not have the hat and cloak, they aren't even human. They don't even really remember who they were pre-loops. There is no familiarity for them to cling to; instead, they're desperate to find things they can control, things they can change, proof that the world moves forward and they're in charge of their place in it. The motivation that Siffrin lacked, Loop now has in spades!
However, their negative feelings are more intense as well. They struggle to face real stakes, to put effort into anything too complicated, to try anything that might disappoint them. They take risks, yes, but not about things they care about; they take risks because they don't care. And they have a lot of other things going on, too, both practically and psychologically, so gender isn't their immediate priority. "Who and what am I?" is a very difficult question for them right now on multiple levels, a difficult question with only difficult answers.
But, starting with the practical: wearing clothes is an easy way to look and feel a little bit more normal, right? So they experiment, and they decide that dresses are just similar enough to the cloak to be comfortable, but distinct enough to not be as emotionally fraught. And they like them in a frivolous way that Siffrin was never willing to lean all the way into. Siffrin didn't put much thought or energy into his appearance, but Loop's inhuman form is a constant issue, so they might as well dress it in a way they like! Something good to balance out the bad, since they can't be neutral any longer.
And of course they think about body craft, though in a different context from most people. Even the nearly-human parts of their body are lacking detail, without all the right functions behind the form, and then other parts aren't human at all. Their body feels wrong, distracting, constricting. They don't understand how it works, and it draws attention they don't want, and it's not them. And yet, isn't it? Even if they'd been put back into a Siffrin body again, they aren't Siffrin anymore, either. Loop is what the loops made them. They want to change their body, to make it something they can be comfortable in, but they can't. Because body craft is a method of changing flesh and blood and bone, and Loop is not made of such human stuff anymore.
So we've got Loop. Trying to find themself, and maybe succeeding in some ways, but stymied or uncertain in others. Desperate to change, but scared to hope. To make a long story short, they join back up with the party, which brings its own set of problems, and yet... it's also a step towards fixing some of their problems, too. Most relevant to our post, here: Odile is a craft expert with a unique set of experiences. She's got a wide foundation of knowledge, since she's familiar with all three main craft types. She used to be part of Ka Bue's underground body-crafting scene, where she not only crafted her own body but also helped and taught other people; and unlike in Vaugarde, where Houses provide resources and education, Odile and her peers had to do their own research and experiments, develop their own techniques. She even has some knowledge of wish craft from Siffrin, and the way she stopped Siffrin from looping proves that she's unusually good at analyzing and adapting to new forms of craft.
So once Loop's dissatisfaction with and ignorance regarding their own physical form comes to Odile's attention, of course she offers to help. To see if she can figure out what their body is made of, and how it works, and hopefully, in what ways it can be changed.
And this dynamic with her... it's totally different from her relationship with Siffrin, both pre-loops and post. And Loop has always admired her, and here she is, talking about the confidence and determination with which she changed her own body, not without fear or frustration but not letting herself be slowed down by them, either. Taking her fate into her own hands and refusing to be anyone other than herself. And Loop used to feel that Odile understood them best, and losing that connection felt like the end of the world, but here she is, still! Observant and caring as ever. Dedicated to figuring them out again. Unflinching as she sees them for the strange thing they currently are, but equally unshakable in her insistence that they do not have to stay exactly as they are.
So Odile helps them figure out their body. Helps them with the craft itself, too, but even more than that ā€” through both encouragement and example, she helps them be brave enough to genuinely try. To ask themself what they really want. To strike a balance between Siffrin's complacent hesitation and Loop's miserable desperation. To experiment, and face both the chance of failure and the chance of success with head held high. To hope.
Odile is not one for platitudes and empty positivity, after all. If she says something's possible, then it is, or she will make it so, one way or another, despite any setback. Isn't she proof? She remade herself, and she can remake Loop, too. Changing them, slowly and carefully and so very, very deliberately. Loop will never be human again, but they can decide who they are and become themself.
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narsh-poptarts Ā· 1 year ago
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The Hex
woodcut of my MoTW character !!!!! really happy with how this came out ^^
some struggling process under the cut
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EDIT: had to revamp this whole thing, hopefully it shows up now
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necrotic-nephilim Ā· 8 months ago
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What's so fun about BruJay as a ship is Jason's sheer obsessive devotion to Bruce. Jason is possessive over Bruce, to the point he doesn't care about the deaths of others so long as he has Bruce's attention. A part of the UTRH arc this isn't talked about enough is that Bludhaven fucking explodes mid-way and Jason won't let Bruce see if Dick is alive.
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batman (1940) #650
A lot of discussion about UTRH paints Jason as this anger-driven cold, calculating machine up against Bruce when it's so clear that his love for Bruce is what drives him at his root, even if he won't acknowledge it. He says it himself, he would've done anything if it was Bruce who'd died instead of him and his anger is rooted in that possessive devotion not being reciprocated.
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batman (194) #650
BruJay as a ship always to be, to some level, unrequited. Even if Bruce loves Jason back in that way, he'll never be that obsessed with Jason. Jason will always view Bruce's love for Dick or Tim to be a distraction, proof that Bruce isn't dedicated enough to him. Jason has the need to always have Bruce's attention, even when it could come at the cost of Bruce's other loved ones. Something something cannibalism as a metaphor for love in how Jason wants to consume Bruce's whole existence. He can't let Bruce leave him again, can't let Bruce love or grieve anyone else. Forcing Bruce to choose between Jason and the Joker isn't just about confronting Jason's killer, it's about confronting the other person who exists as this duality with Bruce and consumes so much of Bruce's life. That's the role Jason wants to fill, calling himself Red Hood and forcing Bruce to look at what he's become. But still loving Bruce and wanting more than anything for Bruce to reciprocate that love in the way that Jason understands. I just think it's good soup and rife with Dynamics that are underexplored with them.
#necrotic festerings#brujay#jaybruce#jaybru#jason todd x bruce wayne#batcest#i've had this thought in my head for a while#i was just weirdly shy about posting it? like convinced myself it's not as verbose as some of my other thoughts#also GOD why is the art of this arc SO BAD.#i can't take it SERIOUSLY#i hate looking at it.#the faces. why are the faces like that.#brujay needs more love bc jesus#gotham war had some good brujay content but i am still too bitter to discuss that shitshow. so. ignoring it for now.#bruce changing jason's brain chemistry as an act of love is the most FUCKED UP brujay thing ever tho#it's so Them.#sorry that is just peak brujay. they are incapable of meeting in any middle and always trying to change each other.#maybe this meta should've been about that.#but then i'd have to use new-52 and rebirth panels so eh. nvmd.#this page makes it seem like i hate post-flashpoint comics. i don't i swear#they just interest me less for batcest.#like oh yay everyone's getting along and working together.#it only came at the expense of throwing away decades of character work. small sacrifice.#i need to stop posting meta at fucking 5 am.#no one is going to see this bc i can't be a normal person.#wrote this while watching invincible#which is pretty good so far but man the ending of ep1 clocked me. i was absolutely bamboozled.#i had something else i was going to say in the tags but i lost it.#anyway most of this is a ship post and projecting shit as per usual and yk. not serious comic media.#i'm just silly and gay.
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just-an-enby-lemon Ā· 4 months ago
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What Stan and Eda think convinced Raine to join the band and later start dating Eda again in my two worlds band au:
*powerfull love ballad about love and trust and how difficult opening up is but how sometimes it's worth trying and how much the narrator (and by consequence Eda) regrets that their lack of trust ruined a good thing*
How Eda and Stan actually convinced them:
Stan: My ex-wife still misses me.
Stan: But her aim is getting better.
Eda: *sucessfully throws an empty apple blood juice box at Stan*
Eda: Is funny cause marriage sucks.
Raine: *internally* *and that is how I knew I still loved her*
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marimbles Ā· 5 months ago
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasnā€™t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like donā€™t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending mlā€™s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but itā€™s like. idk. I donā€™t recognize this story anymore#this isnā€™t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I donā€™t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also donā€™t just want to shut up and pretend Iā€™m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like itā€™s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I donā€™t WANT to rain on anyoneā€™s parade. I honestly donā€™t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I donā€™t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like Iā€™m going a little crazy lmao! like Iā€™m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess itā€™s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it šŸ˜‚#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean itā€™s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe thatā€™s why I miss carpisuns. she didnā€™t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the ironyā€¦like marinette I have made this choice out of loveā€¦for what the story once wasā€¦what is to become of me nowā€¦
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