#and trying to get him out alive because sacrificing himself isn’t the right or only answer

[designernishiki]

finished yakuza 6. but at what cost

[hyunbunlix]

Affirmation [hitman!Hyunjin]

Characters: Hyunjin, older fem!OC, Jeong In (mentioned), Felix (mentioned), Lee Know (mentioned) Rating: A/O for Adults Only Content Warnings/Tags: pining (m), banter, mentions of previous voyeurism (m), public foreplay/petting (m receiving), semi-public sex, shower sex, raw orgasm(s), doggy style Word Count: 5,330 Summary: After being apart from Blackbox for over a month, Hyunjin is going stir-crazy. He can't get her out of his mind no matter how much she seems to not want him around. When she agrees to meet him in Seoul, he's both surprised and eager. Note: This is part of a larger John Wick AU, which can be found here.

“I know you fucked I.N.”

            She snorted, adjusting the phone against her ear. “Now you’re a stalker, too? Pick a struggle, Hwang.”

            “I have,” he said, his voice eerily soft even through the phone. “It’s you.”

            “Spare me,” she sighed.

            “What does he have that I don’t?” he went on.

           “A positive rapport, a moral compass, I could go on but I don’t see the point,” she said.

            “I kept you alive in that cell,” he said.

            “You did,” she said, sharp now. “It cost me dozens of human lives, and even after all that you still didn’t free me. I.N did that.”

            “If it hadn’t been for me, no one would have found you,” he said.

            “See, this is why I don’t talk to you,” she said. “You never see the point even when it’s right in front of you.”

            “But it isn’t right in front of me,” he insisted. “We’re on the phone.”

            “You know what I mean, you jackass.”

            He whined. She glared at the living room wall and pretended it was him.

            “Where are you?” he asked. “I want to see you.”

            “If you have to ask then you must be a truly abysmal stalker,” she said.

            “I know you were at the Seoul Continental after your escape,” he said. “I don’t know where you went after that.”

            “And I’m not going to tell you. Don’t call again unless you actually need something, Hwang,” she said, and promptly hung up on him.

Hyun Jin exercised a remarkable amount of restraint by waiting a month to contact Blackbox again. A long month of shooting people at Lee Know’s command and hoping against hope that he’d run into her somewhere, despite being pretty sure she was in the States while he was still in Korea.

            Hell, at this point he would have accepted running into I.N. I.N was connected to her, therefore Hyun Jin could feel closer to her by proxy.

            I.N was partially to blame for Hyun Jin’s renewed obsession with her, anyway. Clearly, she had no moral scruples about sleeping with killers if she’d been just fine with fucking the Gumiho himself.

            Hyun Jin needed to sleep with her.

            He told himself that was all it was. Not that he missed being around her like when she’d been pretending to serve under Lee Know. Not that he was grateful to her for helping him get revenge on Yong Bok. Not even that she had sacrificed half of her contacts to quench his bloodthirst, a tithe to convince him to keep her alive once she’d been found to not be quite as loyal as everyone thought.

            No, he told himself, it wasn’t about any of that. He told himself it was just because he really needed to fill her with his cum.

            Losing half her might hadn’t affected her linchpin status. Blackbox had the Gumiho as her lapdog now; nobody was getting close to her without going through him, and very few people dared to even try. I.N had risen to prominence as a teenager and only gotten deadlier with every year that passed.

            Hyun Jin was almost desperate enough to mess with him, but he got the feeling if he so much as ruffled I.N’s hair wrong Blackbox would never speak to him again, on the phone or otherwise.

            So after a long month of jerking off to the worst things he could think of involving him, her, and sometimes even I.N, he called her again.

            “What?” she said, not bothering to greet him properly. At least she was courteous enough to speak Korean. He pouted and wished she could see it.

            “Ouch,” he said. “You didn’t miss me at all?”

            “Of course I didn’t,” she said. Hyun Jin clutched at his shirt like she’d wounded him grievously.

            “After all we’ve been through together,” he said theatrically. “It’s like you don’t even care about me.”

            “That’s because I don’t,” she said. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re a business contact. I don’t spare thoughts for you in my personal time.”

            All right, that one did sting a little.

             “Yet here I am thinking about you every single day,” he said.

            “Sounds like a personal problem,” she said.

            “Quite,” he agreed tersely. “Is he there with you right now?”

            “Who?”

            “The Gumiho.”

            “No,” she said. “Why? Think you’ll finish the job while he’s out?”

            “I don’t even know where you are,” he said honestly. “I’m surprised he’d leave you alone, though, after the ordeal. Both the threat to your life part and the fucking his brains out part.”

            “I don’t require an around-the-clock watch,” she said, ignoring the crass half of his statement. Hyun Jin shrugged even though she couldn’t see it.

            “You never know when you’ll find yourself in trouble,” he said.

            “Are you threatening me?”

            That stung a little more.

            “I had plenty of chances to kill you and I didn’t,” he pointed out.

            “Answer the question, Hwang,” she said, impatient.

            “Hyun Jin,” he snapped back.

            “What?” she asked, sounding as taken aback as he felt. He shouldn’t have said that. His name was one of his best-guarded secrets. He and the Gumiho were a lot alike in that way.

            “My given name,” he said, feeling suddenly soft, exposed. “Please use it instead.”

            “Are you threatening me, Hyun Jin?” she asked, though the fight had gone out of her voice.

            “No,” he answered, truthful. “No, I’m not threatening you. I miss you so much and I’m starting to think that the only way I’m going to see you is if you’re in trouble so bad that you need me again and finally fucking call me.”

            She made no reply to that. Probably too stunned to speak. So he went on.

            “But I don’t want that, either. I don’t want you to be in danger again. I don’t want you to need me like that. I don’t think I want you to need me at all. I want you to want me. I want you to want to see me.”

            Another couple beats of silence. Hyun Jin was gripping his phone too tightly.

            Finally, she said, “You’re asking a lot.”

            Hyun Jin ran his free hand through his hair and let his head fall back against the wall behind him with a thunk.

            “I know,” he said, trying not to sound as miserable as he felt.

            “What time zone are you in right now?” she asked, catching him off-guard.

            “KST,” he answered. “Why?”

            “Are you booked out these next several days?”

            Hyun Jin felt suddenly lightheaded. He wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly.

            “No,” he said, answering the question as he’d processed it. “No, my time is mine these next few days.”

            “I’ll meet you at the Seoul Continental in three days,” she said in a voice that brokered no argument. Hyun Jin’s spine straightened automatically.

            “Yes, ma’am,” he answered.

            She hung up on him. Hyun Jin pulled his phone away from his ear and stared at it like he’d never seen it before.

Hyun Jin spent the next two days grappling with the possibility that this was a set-up and Blackbox was sending the Gumiho to kill him. I.N was smart enough not to break the rules by committing a crime on Continental grounds, but that wouldn’t stop him from camping out across the street and waiting to dome Hyun Jin when he finally came outside.

            Hell, even if Blackbox did show up, was she above using this as an elaborate scheme to lure Hyun Jin into a false sense of security? Was Hyun Jin really stupid enough to walk right into a potential trap like this?

            Whether or not stupid was the correct word for it, on the afternoon of the third day, he checked into the Seoul Continental and texted her his room number.

            Then he waited.

            An hour later, she texted him back.

          You’re not going to make me pay for my own room after coming all this way, are you?

            He raised an eyebrow and quickly typed back.

            You won’t have to pay for shit if you just share with me.

            Not ten seconds later, someone knocked on his door. He quickly got up to open it. There she was, suitcase in tow.

            “Was that supposed to be some kind of test?” he asked as he stood aside to let her in.

            “I wanted to see if you were gentleman,” she said. She surveyed the room, her eyes glancing over the one king-sized bed. “I’m unsurprised to find the answer is no.”

            “There aren’t a lot of gentlemen in this business,” Hyun Jin said, keeping his voice nonchalant as he locked and bolted the door. She couldn’t know about what he'd done with her security footage . . . Could she? “And besides, you came here so I could see you. How am I supposed to do that if you’re in another room?”

            “They offer rooms with two beds,” she muttered as she propped her suitcase on a stand and opened it. He watched while she unpacked a few things.

            “How long are you planning to stay?” he asked.

            “If I find I can’t stand you, just tonight. If I can? Then I’m not sure,” she said.

            “I’d better be on my best behavior, then,” he muttered.

            “I’m afraid it’s a little late for that,” she said, tugging a swimsuit out of her suitcase. Hyun Jin eyed her warily. Did she know? “I saw the pool on the way in. It makes New York’s look like a bathtub. I’m going down and you’re welcome to come.”

            Before Hyun Jin could even give his assent, she pulled her shirt and bra over her head in one motion. He gaped at her. She slipped out of her pants and underwear just as quickly. Then she wiggled into her swimsuit as though nothing strange had happened, as though she hadn’t just given Hyun Jin a great view of her bare tits and ass, a view that had only existed in his imagination up until now.

            She tossed him a withering look. “I thought we established you aren’t a gentleman. Are you coming or not?”

            She had to know. How had she found out? It was true that Blackbox seemed to know everything about everyone, but how had she found that out? He shook himself mentally and went to his own suitcase. “Yeah,” he grunted. He then promptly shut himself in the bathroom to figure out the best way to hide a boner in swimwear.

The pool was enormous. It looked like two long pools built to intersect, large enough to have an island at the center. One could access the island either by swimming to it and climbing a set of stairs or by crossing a bridge over the water. A member of the concierge provided them towels as they entered the pool area, and Hyun Jin followed her lead while she chose lounge chairs to leave their things at. She slipped out of her strapless cover-up, and Hyun Jin tugged his shirt over his head, dropping it on a chair.

            Now that he was no longer rattled, he was able to do a quick assessment of her body. The cuts and bruises she’d been dealt from her time as Lee Know’s prisoner had healed nicely, several of them joining a collection of older scars. Hyun Jin had quite a few of his own. It wasn’t really something you could escape in their line of work.

            She paused to put her hair into a high ponytail. Hyun Jin opted to leave his hair, almost shoulder length, loose. She crossed to the pool, descending the marble steps into the water. Hyun Jin trailed a few paces behind, surveying the others in the area. There weren’t too many people using the pool relative to its size.

            As stupid as it was, Hyun Jin felt abruptly protective of her. The odds of anything bad happening to her on Continental grounds were almost zero, which was probably why she’d chosen to meet here in the first place. Still, he couldn’t help the way his eyes slid across the other patrons, ensuring none of them were sizing her up or making note of her for a later date.

            She swam away from him, looking legitimately relaxed and happy to be in the water. So many people in this life, especially as they got older, let the mask be the default. Hyun Jin himself was only in his early twenties, and she had years on him, had been doing this shit even longer. It was nice to see humanity slip in, if only for a moment.

            Hyun Jin floated at his leisure, aware of her whereabouts without interrupting her while she paddled and dived down to swim along the bottom of the pool. He was suddenly terrified of annoying her, of breaking her peace.

            After maybe twenty minutes in the pool, Hyun Jin’s spine went straight thanks to a familiar voice. As discreetly as he could, he swam around to the other side of the island to get a better look. The owner of the voice met his eyes, and Hyun Jin did everything in his power to pretend it hadn’t happened.

            It was a former partner of his from a couple years ago, heiress to an underground empire. Her father had disapproved of Hyun Jin thanks to his erratic personality and reputation. It had not ended well.

            He turned to swim back the way he’d come, making it just around the corner of the island when he literally ran into the person he actually wanted to see. She gave him an inquisitive look.

            “What’s got you spooked?” she asked, her hands on his arms as though to stabilize him. Hyun Jin wasn’t often aware of the age gap between them, but right then he was extremely conscious of it. He wanted to press closer, as though seeking her protection or comfort, but he narrowly refrained.

            “Old entanglement,” he said honestly. “I don’t want her to talk to me.”

            She took a peek over his shoulder, then met Hyun Jin’s eyes again. “White bikini?” she asked for clarification.

            “Yeah,” he answered.

            “Do you trust me to handle this?” she asked next.

            “Yes,” he said without hesitation.

            A switch flipped then, and she backed him against the marble tiles of the island wall, her hands coming to rest on either side of his body, boxing him in. She was close enough for him to feel the warmth of her body, but not so close that they physically touched.

            “I don’t want you talking with her today,” she said, her voice sweet, almost pouting. He noticed the way her head was angled. It would be easy for anyone looking over his left shoulder to read her lips.

            “Why?” Hyun Jin asked, more than happy to play along.

            “Because you’re with me right now,” she said, her right hand rising out of the water to rest on his chest. “I don’t want her to think she has a chance with you. Not as a quick fuck or anything else.”

            “She has no chance with me, today or any other day,” Hyun Jin said, frowning now. “What’s past is past. She’s the one who threw me away.”

            “Are you bitter, Hwang?” she asked softly. Hyun Jin caught the purposeful omission of his given name. A secret kept between them.

            “A little,” he said. Her eyes sharpened on him.

            “Why?” she asked. “You should know I can be enough for you.”

            “Of course I know that,” he breathed. Was she still acting? Because Hyun Jin sure as shit wasn’t. “I’m obsessed with you. I have been for months.”

            “I know, baby,” she said. The petname went right to his cock, which was hardening down the right leg of his swim shorts. “I know you would do anything for me.”

            He nodded as she moved closer to him. Her left arm went around his shoulders while her right hand carded through his wet hair. Her body lined up with his, and there was no chance in hell she missed his erection.

            “I know all I’d have to do is call and you’d come running,” she said, her voice dipping lower. She was so close to him that no one could have known what she said other than him. Her right hand touched his cheek while her left trailed through the water and down his body, stopping to palm directly at his hard cock.

            He sighed raggedly.

            “You’d drop everything and fly halfway around the world . . . Whether I needed you to kill a man or stuff my cunt . . .”

            As she talked she continued to rub his cock. His breathing was labored now, his body tense as he warred with how good it felt for her to touch him, and how depraved he must have been to be this close to getting off in public, right in front of an ex, no less.

            “If you don’t stop, you’re going to make me come,” he admitted hoarsely. She raised her brows at him, her lips curving into a fiendish smile.

            “Really? Right here? You really would do anything for me.”

            He swallowed hard. “It would be humiliating.”

            “Oh, Hwang . . . You’ve done much worse things than orgasm in public . . .”

            That was enough. Before he could well and truly climax in the middle of the pool, he grabbed her arm and hauled her to the showers. He only just managed to get the water on and the curtain pulled closed when she was on him, kissing him like he’d starved her to death, pushing him back against the cold tile, as though she had been the one tormented instead of the other way around. His dick throbbed, and she must have felt it because she fumbled to get his swim shorts off without pulling away from their kiss.

            He pulled them down for her while she forced her tongue into his mouth, his tongue just as eager, spit and water dripping down their chins. He groaned in relief when his cock sprang free, achingly hard.

            She pulled away from their kiss to look at it, to wrap her hand around it, entranced by the way his girth fit in her grip.

            “You’re going to feel so fucking good inside me,” she sighed. Hyun Jin’s attention snapped from her hand to her face.

            “You’re going to let me fuck you?” he asked, unsure if he’d heard right. He’d frankly been expecting a handjob at best.

            “Please,” she said. “You of all people should know how badly I’ve wanted you for months.” He huffed a short laugh, incredulous.

            “Fuck,” he hissed, leaning his head back against the tile. “You know about what I did, don’t you?”

            “You mean the way you watched my security footage and liked it so much that you kept a fucking copy? Yes, Hwang, I know what you did,” she said. He grinned in disbelief. Then he switched places with her and got to his knees.

            “I get the feeling I should beg for forgiveness,” he said, gazing up at her. She chuckled.

            “I think that’s a very good idea,” she answered, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes.

            He tugged her bikini bottom off and pushed her back against the wall, out of the spray of the water so he could keep all her wetness for himself. He delved his tongue between her folds, long, deep licks that quickly had her sighing and moaning.

            “I’m not immune to you, Hwang,” she said. “You’re fucking gorgeous and seeing you in the pool like that made me so wet.”

            “Like what?” he asked, moving one of her thighs to rest on his shoulder and putting his mouth back to work teasing her clit. She shuddered.

            “At my mercy,” she sighed. He hummed, desire shooting straight to his straining cock, pre-cum drooling from the tip. While he sucked on her clit, he eased two fingers inside her, unable to start slow. She was already so open for him, so ready to be filled. He wanted to stuff his cock inside her right then, a quick, dirty fuck, but he was already so close that if he did it now, he would be the only one that came.

            Hwang Hyun Jin was a lot of terrible things, but selfish lover was not one of them.

            So he fucked her with his fingers first, stroking her clit with his tongue while he listened to her moans, memorizing what made her flinch and writhe so he could do it again and again. Finally, he found the perfect pressure with his tongue and the perfect speed and angle with his fingers, and she fell apart for him, her nails biting into his shoulder while her body shook and her pussy fluttered.

            He didn’t hesitate after that. He stood, ripping the bikini top with its flimsy ties off her body. He lifted her by the thighs, pressing her back against the wall as he fucked into her in one smooth, sound stroke. She gasped a moan, her nails digging into his back, and he hissed, pressing as deeply inside her as he could. Her cunt was still pulsing with her orgasm, and it felt so fucking good around his cock.

            “That’s it,” he moaned. “That’s right. So fucking greedy for me.”

            She nodded, her wet ponytail bobbing. “Want you to fuck me,” she moaned. “Want you to fill up my fucking cunt.”

            Hyun Jin bared his teeth in a wild grin, pulling back nearly to the tip. “I will,” he breathed.

When Hyun Jin fucked back into her, she whined along with every smooth, hard inch. His length filled her so deeply, his thickness stretching her pussy just right, lighting every nerve on fire. When she’d felt him in the pool, she’d known he would be big, but nothing quite prepared her for having him inside her.

            Despite what she’d thought would happen, despite how eager he was, he took his time to play with her now, long, slow strokes of his cock, all the way in and all the way out, forcing her to memorize every bit of his shape and size. His muscle control was impeccable. Her body was already buzzing from pleasure; he felt so good but she needed more.

            She kissed along his neck, showing her teeth here and there. He groaned, his cock twitching inside her, but he didn’t speed up the pace. She dragged her tongue up the side of his neck and he shuddered, driving himself inside her in a swift, hard stroke, lingering there while another greedy pulse went down the length of him. His control, fraying.

            “Please, Hyun Jin,” she murmured against the shell of his ear, little more than a whisper, leaving no chance that someone might overhear his name. He froze. “I need this.” He shivered, a soft groan escaping his perfect, plush lips. “I’ve needed it for months, ever since I touched myself in that fucking confinement cell to thoughts of you, sweaty and dripping, all over me.”

            “Fuck,” he choked out, and obeyed, his hands tight enough on her thighs to bruise as he snapped into a sharp, harsh rhythm, keeping her tight against the wall as he craned his neck to kiss her, a sloppy affair that quickly became little more than tongues stroking while they moaned into each other's mouths.

            “Yes, Hwang,” she gasped out. “That’s it, fuck, yes. Gonna make me come again.”

            “Good,” he grunted, a sound that quickly tapered into a whine as she scored her nails down his back. “I’m not going to last if you keep doing that.”

            “Then don’t last,” she goaded. “Fill me up with your cum like we both want so badly.”

            “Fuck, noona,” he groaned.

            “Harder, Hwang.”

            He did as commanded, and like she said she would, she came on his cock, her cunt fluttering euphorically over something so big. She didn’t bother trying to control the volume of her moans, alerting everyone in the showers that there were indeed degenerates in their midst. After three more hard thrusts, Hyun Jin fell apart, filling her with hot spurts of cum. With the exception of one more shuddering thrust, he didn’t even bother to fuck her through it, choosing instead to press as close to her as he could, body to body, cock buried, panting moans against her ear.

            “So fucking good, Hyun Jin,” she breathed in his ear once he’d finished emptying his mess inside her, his bruising grip letting up. He put her feet back on the floor and slid his cock out of her, still half-hard after all that. He was staring at her, lips parted as he tried to catch his breath, his tongue shifting behind his teeth. She couldn’t help it; he looked so good, fucked out and dripping wet, that she reached for the back of his neck, fitting her mouth to his all over again. His arms caged her against the wall instantly, pressing their naked bodies close.

            When they finally parted, he asked, “You’re staying more than one night, right?”

            She laughed, nodding. “Yeah. Seems it’ll be worth my while.”

After rinsing off the mess, they collected their things from the pool area and went back up to their room to wash the chlorine from their hair. Despite his insistence that they could totally shower together, she told him to go first and took hers after.

            Good thing, too, because once she got out of the shower Hyun Jin barely let her dry off before putting her face down, ass up on the bed and fucking her again. She came even harder than before, her core still sore from the first round. From the sound of him, he came just as hard this time, and the mess wasn’t diminished in volume.

            She rolled over on the bedspread and just stared at him while he pushed the hair out of his face, his eyes locked on her pussy where his cum had started to leak out. His muscles were still tight from the exertion of fucking her twice, his plush lips parted while he panted. If one could get past the crazy and the killing, he was a perfect specimen.

            He licked his lips and pressed them together, meeting her gaze as he seemed to come back to himself. Then he stretched to grab the tissue box on the nightstand, his lean, strong body on full display. She groaned, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes.

            “What?” he asked as he started to clean the mess from between her legs, careful not to use too much pressure. She could hear the smile in his voice.

            “You’re gorgeous and I’m going to be so fucking sore when this trip is over,” she moaned, dropping her hands to look at him. He was focused intensely on his task.

            “I would apologize, but I’m not even a little sorry,” he said. She huffed a short laugh in response.

            “Me neither,” she agreed. He dropped the tissues in the trash, then came to lounge next to her in the bed. He looked pensive, almost hesitant.

            “What is it?” she asked, rolling onto her side to face him.

            He was quiet for a moment, then met her eyes again. “You have to tell I.N. I refuse to be the other man.”

            “He already knows,” she said. “He knew before I left where I was going and why, and I updated him while you were in the shower. As long as you don’t hurt me, and as long as I don’t replace him, he doesn’t care.”

           Hyun Jin sighed with relief. “Thanks. I never want to be in that situation again,” he said. She propped herself up on an elbow.

            “You’ll murder forty-seven people in front of me, but you draw the line at infidelity?” she asked, a little incredulous but not unkind.

            “I’ve never been killed before, so I guess I’m able to mentally distance myself from that one,” he said by way of explanation.

            “You’ve been cheated on?” she asked. He nodded.

            “You’d be surprised how often it happens. They either think I’m too busy to notice, or too deranged to care. Neither is true.”

            “What about the woman at the pool? Did she . . . ?”

            “Yeah. Her father disapproved of me and rather than cutting me loose she just . . . let me be a side piece. Except I didn’t know I was the side piece,” he said. He made a disgusted sound. “And when I did find out, I killed the other guy. It was the wrong call. I should have killed her, but at least I know better now.”

            “You kill your exes?” she asked.

            “Only the ones that betray me,” he said.

            “I’ll try to stay on your good side,” she said.

            “I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” he said. “You’ve been honest with both me and I.N, and I’m sure it’s obvious by now that I trust you. And my trust is very difficult to earn these days.”

            “I gathered,” she said softly, thinking of the way his name felt on her tongue.

            “I want to meet him,” Hyun Jin said then. “I.N. I want to make sure we all know what’s happening.”

            “Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I can arrange that.”

            “Gotta make sure your scary guard dogs can get along,” he muttered. She chuckled, a lopsided grin on her face.

            “My what?”

            “Scary guard dogs. I figure you need at least two to make up for all the allies you lost,” he said.

            “The ones you killed, you mean,” she clarified. He waved his hand dismissively.

            “Whatever. Lee Know would have done it if I hadn’t, but if Lee Know had, you wouldn’t have gotten anything out of the deal. He’s not as nice as me,” he said.

            “Low bar,” she said. He pouted.

            “I’ve been very nice to you,” he said.

            She hummed thoughtfully and reached to run her index finger along his soft length. His eyes snapped to her hand.

            “I certainly hope you’re not as nice to everyone as you are to me . . .”

            “Point made,” he said, his voice a little strained again. There was no way he could go again so soon, and by the look on his face, he wasn’t very happy with his body thwarting him like that. She pulled her hand away from his cock, not wanting to torment him further. Instead, she leaned forward to kiss him, which he accepted gratefully.

            “I’m happy I came to see you,” she said softly, her eyes still closed. He kissed her again, his full lips slow and tender on hers.

            “So am I,” he said, then gathered her in his arms and lay back down, skin to naked skin.

            “You’re so warm,” she murmured, relaxing against him, her head on his chest. “I could sleep like this.”

            “We should do that tonight, assuming your sleep cycle isn’t too fucked up,” he said, his voice just as quiet, a vibration against her cheek. She nodded.

            “I’d like that.”

            Hyun Jin shifted, cradling her just that little bit closer. “Does I.N know your real name?” he asked quietly.

            “Yes,” she said. He’d known it for years, and even when he’d been angry with her, he’d never given it away.

            “Will you tell me, too?” Hyun Jin asked now, timid, like he feared her rejection.

            “In the morning,” she said.

            “Promise?” he asked next. She moved just enough so she could look him in the face. She’d never seen him look at her quite like that before, his expression gentle and open and a little afraid. She put her hand on his cheek.

            “I promise,” she said solemnly, and it smoothed the worry from his features. He closed his eyes, and she laid her head over his heart again.

[nami-moittli]

Thinking about what would happen to the digidestined if they ended up dying in the Digiworld, which of course means I have to think about Kouichi

Just. Imagine the end of Frontier but Kouichi just. Doesn’t make it. He dies from that fall and he dies sacrificing himself to save his brother. That would just be, so entirely fucked up for these kids to go through, especially Kouji (now that the others would be fine either, just yk. Not loosing a brother bad)

Like, Kouji coming back to his home, slamming the door behind him and stomping up to his room, the fact that it’s his dad’s and step-mom’s anniversary completely forgotten

Kousei’s obviously mad. He thought that for at least one day Kouji would try to play nice with his new mother, but nope, he’s gone all day with no explanation and walks straight past the both of them with no remorse. Of course, he doesn’t realize the true gravity of the situation, but he still marches right up those stairs after his son, Satomi following soon behind him, though not as mad about the whole thing. Just, worried

Kousei knocks furiously at the door, demanding to be let inside, or at least have an actual conversation about his behavior, Satomi stands still only halfway up the steps, just wanting to know if Kouji’s okay, knowing he’d probably never tell her

After a while, Kouji gets angry and slams the door back open, a furious expression on his face with red, puffy eyes indicating that he had been crying. In fact, there were still tears at the edges of his eyes

It takes Kousei by surprise, but he quickly shakes his head and starts lecturing Kouji about acting like that on their anniversary day. That he knows that Kouji isn’t the happiest with Satomi, but he needs to get over his mother’s death, after all Kouji didn’t even know her and it was time to move on

But then Kouji says, not exactly quietly, but with a shaky and sharp voice he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me I had a brother?”

Then suddenly the ball was in Kouji’s court, because Kousei certainly wasn’t expecting that. He stutters a bit trying to readjust himself to this new topic, but Kouji’s already blowing up at him

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME I HAD A BROTHER? WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT MOM WAS ALIVE? THAT SHE WAS DEAD IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN ALL THAT REALLY HAPPENED WAS A DIVORCE? WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT I WAS A TWIN?!

Kousei has no fucking clue on how to respond to this, but it ends up with Kouji getting so frustrated that he pushes Kousei away with all his might, right into the doorframe

Kouji is slightly mortified by his own strength for a moment, seeing how much pain his dad seems to be in, but he quickly pushes past that and charges for the door, pushing Satomi out of his way too

(Not as hard as his dad though. Kouji didn’t actually want to hurt them. He was just so hurt himself, and Satomi really wasn’t that bad. Not to mention he didn’t want anymore accidents on stairs anytime soon. Or at all)

He ends up grabbing his Kendo stick, just for that small bit of comfort that comes with being able to properly defend himself as his dog barks at him as he leaves.

He’s running, but not really sure where to. Just. Away. While running he pulls out his phone and send out a message to the other Warriors. (They had exchanged numbers at the hospital. A way to keep in touch.) The only ones who could know how he feels. (They can’t. They didn’t loose a brother before he got to know him. At least, that’s what Kouji thinks)

The others would love to have him stay, but it was J.P. who actually had the room for him. Apparently J.P.’s parents got home really late, if at all most nights, so if Kouji just wanted to be away from people, his place was his best bet.

It was a ways away. Not like that mattered to Kouji.

[gloamists]

“Will you tear down the system or become part of it?” Why Percy Jackson will always be better than Harry Potter

JK Rowlings blatant transphobia and horrible writing skills aside, Percy Jackson as a character is leaps and bounds better than Harry Potter, and it is not particularly close.

These two characters often get compared to each other, and for good reason. Both are characters under the “chosen one” archetype. Both presented as prodigies within their given stories, and both are subject to oppressive governmental type forces throughout their stories. However, one of these characters decides to tear down said oppressive force by the end of their book, while the other decides to work within it. And that, at least in my opinion, is the glaring difference between them.

If you haven’t already guessed, Harry Potter is the one that decides to work within the system rather than tear it down. At the end of his series, HP decides to basically become a wizard cop, after being completely shafted and done wrong by The Ministry of Magic throughout his story. When Harry tried to convince the Ministry that Voldemort is in fact alive and killing people once again, they brush him off and call him a liar as to not incite panic and distrust of the Ministry. When Harry uses magic in self defense outside of school grounds they decide to try and expel him instead of hearing him out. Hell, they even try to put his Godfather, Sirius Black, to DEATH in the 3rd book. But despite all of this, Harry decides to join them at the end of the final book? Why? Because Harry is not hero, and he is no revolutionary. He is the product of his own creators blatant bigotry and ignorance.

Percy Jackson on the other hand, is completely different. In the Percy Jackson series, the overarching problem really is that the Gods are not claiming their children. Leaving them to fend for themselves in a world where almost everything is out to kill them. This results in Demigods like Luke Castellan to rebel and side with the Titans to bring down the Gods. Throughout the book, Percy clashes with Luke and other like minded Demigods who want to take down Olympus. And at the end, Luke ends up sacrificing himself to save the people he loves. Due to his part in fighting against the Titans, Percy is granted 1 wish, anything he could want. The Gods offer him immortality, assuming that would of course be what he wanted. Because what could be better than being a God? What could be better than being them. But instead of taking immortality and eternal power, Percy decides to make the Gods promise to claim ALL of their kids. Pointing out that if they had done this from the beginning, Luke and the other Demigods would never have rebelled and none of this would ever have happened. Notice what I am trying to get at here. Instead of using the wish to grasp immortality and benefit from the oppressive system like another main character from another series did, Percy used to the power at his disposal to tear down the oppressive system in front of him and change it for the benefit of the future Demigods.

Both of these characters are presented as hero archetypes, but it obvious to me that only one really fits that mold. And it isn’t Harry Potter. Hell, we were shown signs of Harry’s indifference to the oppressive force in his world early on. When Hermione informs Harry that the house elves are effectively slaves working for the wizarding world, Harry tells her that because they seem to enjoy it that it really isn’t their problem. And that right there told me all I needed to know about his character.

Now it is no secret that JK Rowling herself is a terrible person. The constant transphobic rhetoric she spits out of her mouth on the internet is disgusting. Not to mention the blatant racism and antisemitism seeping out of her writing. Naming the only asian character in her book “Cho Chang” and the only black character “Kingsley Shacklebolt”. And the Gringotts Goblins are obviously jewish caricatures. This ignorance and indifference undoubtedly plays a role in how terribly written Harry Potter is as a character.

Anyways, Harry Potter is a terrible series read Percy Jackson instead it’s much better thanks ily bye ❤️❤️

[roydeezed]

One Piece-Chapter Round-Up(Chapter 1085)

Holy hell, my heart was in my throat the entirety of that chapter. There was such a sinister atmosphere engulfing the first part of this chapter. It really felt like stumbling upon something we shouldn’t have and the fact that we were so close to learning the truth was exhilarating. I don’t want to get into spoilers so I’ll put my more in-depth discussion below the cut. For now check out Franky and the cute turtles! It feels like forever since Franky’s been on one of these cover stories. To be honest I can’t remember the last one with him or Brook. But Franky’s defeated a crab trying to eat the baby turtles and is shepherding them to the sea. I swear that years after it ends people are going to find connections between these Cover Pages and details we haven’t found out. I say that because these baby turtles having to fend for themselves reminds me of how Franky had to fend for himself after being abandoned by his parents. I’m a freak about One Piece so I could go on about how I love Franky’s emotionality and how this reminds me of Tom taking care of a young Cutty Flam but let’s get to what we really should be talking about below the cut!

To save some time and space let’s just say I was very generous with the use of expletives during this entire first part because it was that harrowing. Right away we start off with Imu referring to themselves in the third person while talking in an older style of speech. They talk about how the D clan were their ancient enemy. Coba also says how Imu was the name of one of the 20 Kings. If Imu isn’t Lili, which I still consider a slight possibility, then the fact that Imu cursed her mistakes gives way to a pretty clear narrative. Imu was the one that killed Lili for her mistakes. And if I’m trusting the clues through the dialogue and trusting that cultural differences and translation haven’t obscure anything, then Imu is a child who was given Ope Ope No Mi surgery and has been alive since the Void Century. Imu being alive since the Void Century comes from their formal olden day speech and being young comes from the fact that they refer to themselves in the third person and that it would be along the lines of Oda’s comedy and the parallels we’ve seen so far. Though it could be that Imu thinks of themselves so highly that they refer to themselves in the third person, I’m sticking to Imu being a kid cause it’s hilarious. And finally Imu being given the surgery also suggests one more part of the narrative. That combined with the fact that Imu doesn’t directly condemn Lili, instead wondering at her motives, makes me believe that Lili was the one that sacrificed herself to give Imu eternal life in a show of fealty. At least that’s how I see it playing out. And I can definitely be wrong as last chapter I was speculating that Lili was actually Imu. 

As we see after Imu asks Cobra the question, Cobra admits that he knew he was probably going to die, as he was only holding on to a small sense of hope that was not gonna be the case.  It also seems like Lili was a secret co-conspirator to the D clan as Imu uses this moment to confirm that she indeed was a D. Now getting to the D’s. This gives us a lot of vital clues. But I think the most hope-affirming one is this: It’s not an inherited Name. Bear with me here. What does that mean? I think that the D is a chosen name. And the evidence in this chapter towards it is that there was a seemingly cute but mostly irrelevant flashback to Ace giving Sabo a D in his name. Sure, it was to show that he connected the dots but I think it’s for a deeper purpose. And the other piece of evidence backs that up. And that is that Imu didn’t know that Lili had a D in her name! Despite seeming to be comrades in arms! And the fact that Blackbeard was called a false D. And the stated fact that the D refers to the enemies of the Celestial Dragons. Do you understand? The D isn’t a family name. It’s a name that you take on when you oppose the Celestial Dragons. It’s been there all along! I literally stumbled across this while writing but I believe this wholeheartedly.

And speaking of the D itself. I’ve always been of the mind that it’s been meaning Dawn. Cause think about this. Raftel was actually Laughtale. That clears up any illusion that the D must stand a Japanese word. And then the DON sound effect from the drums of Liberation. Just as how “Laugh” was obscured by being “Raf”, so too, at least in my opinion, is the “Dawn” obscured by “DON”. And obviously Romance Dawn being the title of the first volume and chapter is a huge clue. Alongside that is the idea of passing dreams down being similar to waiting for the dawn to rise. It fits the theme. And not only that. But the sun and moon imagery. The moon, being the lunarians and the kozuki and the minks and many others, who watch over the world and wait as the sun-coded warriors of D, such as the Sun God Nika in Luffy, bring about the dawn. I had previously thought the Dragons and the Gorosei and Imu represented the Moon and the people descended from there, but seeing the hellish and demonic imagery of this chapter makes me believe they represent the darkness and Hell itself. And seeing as we haven’t yet ventured back into a Impel Down like arc, I can see an arc in the future where it utilizes that. 

A few asides before we move on. First of all, the way the Gorosei literally looked like giant demons with their barbed tails, Oni and Akuma like silhouettes makes me think the naming of the Devil Fruits is a misdirect. The dragons have already manipulated history to obscure the true name of the Gomu Gomu No Mi so why couldn’t they do something similar for Devil Fruits? Maybe these powers come from the sacred treasure of Marejois. Some sort of parallel to the apples in the Garden of Eden? Another thing is that thinking of the Lunarians also brought up some ideas. While they are Moon-Coded, their name literally derives from Luna, they also wield the fire of the suns. I wonder if they were the mech pilots of the giant robots that were on Egghead as they required a lot of energy. Or if they were used as energy sources like some Omelas type thing. It would certainly fit with what I think happened to Kuma and his people.

Anyways, I know it seems like this giant figure in the back crawling down the throne in the panel above is Imu but it’s actually one of the Gorosei. As you can see there are two silhouettes on either side, and when the five are shown again, the giant figure become the second one from the left in the panel below. Also we can see the snail capture the photograph that we eventually see in the newspaper.

I wonder if they have something to do with the Giant Shadows at the end of Thriller Bark. Finally, let’s move on to the end. Wapol finds out the truth and saves Vivi, who was captured by CP0. It seems they were carrying out Imu’s orders, who was not only motivated by whatever they saw in the frozen chambers but also their personal goals. 

That brings us to the end. Please let me know what you think of my theory that the D is a taken name because right now, that’s the only thing on my mind. Another thing I want to mention is that it reinforces the idea of inherited will and dreams. And spits in the face of fate and dynasties. Because Luffy chose the will of the D by following Shanks, not because he was Dragons son or Garps Grandson, those two oppose the Dragons their own way. It would also make sense why the Gum Gum Fruit chose him. He chose to oppose the order of the world by being kind. I’m still reeling from this chapter so I’ll end it here but I might reblog in the future if I have anything to add.

[eneiryu]

thank you for the reply!!

so to expand on the original ask which was, in summary, “theo and liam are already together and theo is part of the pack when they get kidnapped” and the way it would make sense for me is if it was pack or someone (quentin???) mainly out for revenge since i think anyone that would kidnap them solely as a political chip to force scott into surrendering or to give up information would not risk seriously harming liam.

i think someone who had more of a vengeance against either scott or theo would hurt liam to hurt one of them and i can see it one of two ways: they want to hurt liam just to hurt theo because of what the dread doctors did, or they want scott dead out of revenge for something or because of what he represents to supernaturals and the knowledge that if scott is gone the power and strength and organization that was slowly growing among the different werewolf packs would disintegrate.

the first would just be someone who wants revenge against the dread doctors and wants to hurt theo psychologically in the worst way they know how, “by going after someone he loves” and that one i guess would be a painful waiting game of theo being helpless and them just waiting for a rescue because whoever is hurting liam isn’t doing it for any other reason than to cause theo pain.

the second way i think could be really interesting. like theo is already a trusted and valued member of the pack now, he knows valuable information about scott and the other packs so he’s just as useful, in that regard, as liam. and i think whoever it is realizes that liam’s moral compass is strong(er) and that he always “has the intention to do good” so he won’t give up information that could hurt scott, the pack, or any other innocent person no matter what they hold over them. and similarly theo, when it comes to himself, is self sacrificing, so if they hurt him to try and get liam to break he will encourage liam not to break and that combined with liam’s own sense of rigt and wrong and the greater good will prevent liam from giving up information that would hurt innocent people.

theo i think is different. i think he also has the sense of right and wrong and he’s firmly on the side of “right” now but i also think self preservation trumps everything for him, except for him, self preservation means keeping liam safe.

i think somewhere along the line, he went from always choosing to save his own ass and not caring who he had to double cross to keep himself alive and keep his heart safe to someone who would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat for the greater good. but i think the self preservation thing didn’t go away, it just got transferred to keeping liam safe above all else. i think it also kind of shows in canon too, theo is at first shown to care about his well being above all else and is even called out about it (“anything to save your own ass just not anyone elses”) but he also sacrifices himself to protect liam multiple times and is shown to instinctively try and protect liam (reaching to push liam ahead of him when gabe opens fire for example). and that’s before they’re together

so all that to say i think whoever the kidnap person is realizes quickly that the only thing that theo would value over doing the right thing and over scott and all else is liam. and not even liam begging him not to will prevent him from giving everything and everyone up if it means liam is safe (not to say liam is the only reason theo is good now because i don’t think that’s the case but i think for theo liam is above everything).

sorry for the incredibly long and windy ask but i guess all that to say if the were already together i think this could be a motivation someone would have

Hmmmm. Yes, all around, to your various (very well-made) points. I do think Theo relies to an extent on Liam being protected by the fact of being Scott’s beta, and pretty much the entire world knowing that Scott with rain hell down on anyone who so much as scratches him, to both protect Liam and protect himself from being put in the position of having to choose between doing the right thing and keeping Liam safe. But if that wasn’t present…that does raise an interesting “what if.”

On the one hand, I write my Theo as wanting very nearly above else not to be responsible for anymore death, even indirectly (which is why he begs Liam not to give Monroe what she wants in tailor-made, even though it means his death). But on the other hand, like you’re saying, I think the idea of him being responsible in anyway for Liam getting hurt and possibly killed—that might ruin him.

So hmmm…quite the interesting puzzle you’ve presented. Let me chew it over and see what comes to mind.

[mimylore]

Yeah so I looked over your posts about Brozone (yes I know you said let it go but it’s not gonna be “let go” if you’re still talking about it and telling us how we are childish)

Look I’m just gonna be very honest with you, people that has the actions and reasons like what you did are very much more childish than us. You along with other people are overly using the “Brozone are bad people” and yet forgetting that Creek had sacrificed his village for himself to stay alive but yet you still like him? So what’s wrong with us actually like Brozone even tho they did bad things?

People like you say it’s bad to like them because of what they did but what about what creek did? You seem to be ignoring the fact that he did sacrifice his village. But yet when we ignore the flaws of Brozone (which we aren’t by the way) it’s a problem? But when we actually like them even with flaws, it’s also a problem?

So I’m trying to find out how you can call us childish for liking characters with flaws (Brozone) but you’re allowed to like a character with flaws (creek)?

It just doesn’t make sense to me. I’m just not getting how you are allowed to like a character with flaws but the rest of us can’t. That’s not fair is it? Also don’t hit me with the “life isn’t fair” stuff cause we all know that already but just because you have a dislike of something based off only the negatives doesn’t mean everyone is gonna dislike them too.

I mean I like creek too but I’m not pushing away the fact that he did sacrificed his village for himself. Meaning that it’s a flaw that the character has. Brozone has many different flaws that we are able see. But that doesn’t entirely makes us bad people for still liking them. Also we don’t even know much about Brozone and everything they’ve been through growing up to their present age (after they left branch)in the movie just like we don’t know everything that creek has been through growing up. All we know and see is what’s presented to us. You seem to only pick out the negatives and ignore all the positives that were there and also that branch allowed them to be with him again when he could’ve just shut them out. Which is also putting the fact the they are still his brothers and he is still their little brother. He may not forgive them for what they did but it’s literally the only family (by blood!) he has left and he is grateful for that. Which is how the rest of us that like Brozone sees them. They are family. Family with flaws just like some families in real life are like.

So I just wanna know how you would feel if you were being called a “bad person” for liking a character with flaws like creek? It’s not that I’m trying to get like a upsetting reaction or some sort of aggressive reply or anything like that. I’m generally trying to figure out how you can like someone that has flaws just as Brozone has flaws but we aren’t allowed to like Brozone for their flaws? It just seems like you’re trying to make us feel bad for our opinions on them because they did bad things. That wouldn’t be so great if we made you feel bad for liking creek because of the flaws he has.

And saying that we’re looking on the surface level doesn’t seem right either because it seems to me that people like you are looking more on the surface level which is what is displayed in the movie but only see that and not what’s on the deeper level of that.

Like how you guys only nitpick all of the negatives that can over weigh but not the positives at all. Times when Brozone actually had good times. When branch joined Bruce and John on stage? When they all were dancing with each other at the end? When they found clay and sung and danced together when poppy and Viva were singing? Those were all good moments.

But you only saw after that when negatives starts to happen. That’s like saying you don’t like this person or the person is so bad because of all the negatives they have done when they’re trying to change for the better. I think that people literally forget what the main thing trolls stands for in this fandom. I get that you would hate Brozone because of their flaws and I can respect that but calling us bad for liking them is like calling someone nasty for like some food that looks weird.

Yeah, I’m sorry for bringing back up this topic but I seen it and it just kept coming back when I tried to make it just go. I don’t want to block someone over a stupid reason like “oh they don’t like Brozone okay then, blocked”. I’m not like that. I get it if it’s because of the flaws. They had really bad ones but saying that it makes us bad people for liking them is just a stretch.

I would like to see eye to eye with people that would actually try and make us understand their point of view instead of overthinking and overusing the same exact argument but in very different ways and situations simultaneously.

So again sorry for bringing this back out of the dark (if I do receive a response or message from you or from anyone that hates Brozone like you for that matter) but I just had to get this off my chest because it just kept growing on me even when I tried ignoring it. Block me if you want, ignore me if you want, say what you want but for the love of all that’s holy please don’t twist my words and make it seem like I’m being rude and or mean for this unnecessary drama thing.

I never once started or ended drama with anyone (on here, I will admit that I have got into drama tho) I just watched but this is a topic that needed to be addressed just for a little moment more because you left with a grudge against the people that actually aren’t toxic but just really wanting to know other reasons on why it makes them a bad person for liking Brozone when they have flaws when you are liking Creek when he has flaws too.

It’s just not sitting right with them and me for that matter. Cause I’m not against you for not liking them I’m against it for making us seem like bad people for liking them. (Not against you in an argumentative manner but more like a eye to eye sort of manner, I think there’s another word for it but this is gonna have to do)

Okay besides that, please have as long of a break as you need to (you don’t have to answer this btw) stay safe. Take all the time to rest well. Do what you need to do to get yourself back to the normal routine you do everyday or to keep yourself healthy and happy with yourself and your life cause you are human too. You take the well deserved break and rest you need. It’s what you want and I respect that.

You have a nice day, night or afternoon wherever you are.

As for the rest that do see this please don’t bash me on taking sides or anything else like that. I’m just ranting about this because I don’t want this to keep bothering me because I didn’t saying anything about it. I’m not on any side right now. I’m just wanting people who are in this fandom to have fun and enjoy it while it’s here. I mean everyone. I know it might not change much for people who read this but I’m happy for it to at-least be seen.

Thank you and good day, moon or evening! 👍🏾🩷

Edit- sorry this was a very long. 😓😓🙏

Of course you'd be a south park fan too lmfao

I just like Craig lol he's weirdly adorable plus I love his Relationship with Tweek.

also IDK who you are but all your doing is further proving my point that you people are pretty childish in how much you freak out over other people criticising your favourite characters.

not sure why you felt the need to do this? since I've already said I'm not partaking in the Trolls 3 Fandom anymore but yeah let it go mate.

[alloftheimagines]

billy hargrove | gone

masterlist | request

words: 1.7k+

warnings: reader's death, blood, angst, loss, a whole lot of pain basically. spoilers for the end of s3.

prompt: Ok but what about an imagine where reader and Billy are together and instead of Billy sacrificing himself to save El it was the reader and they ended up dying in the place of Billy instead. Don’t know if this has been done yet.

a/n: I'm finally trying to get out some of the requests in my inbox, though they are years old by now. i really liked this one and I'm a sucker for billy angst. feel free to request more! really looking to write for bucky barnes or other mcu characters right now but need some prompts please and thanks!

oh, also, I took the "i love you" back story from another imagine i wrote, which you can find here.

You know the moment you look into Eleven’s eyes and finally see that you won’t be making it out alive. You don’t know who you are, where you’ve been, these last weeks. You only know there’s been a darkness infesting your insides, and now it stands in front of you, a monster more terrifying than anything you’ve ever seen before. Eleven whispers to you, brings you back with a memory she shouldn't know about.

“You’re wearing his shirt,” Eleven says through a sob. Your hands loosen around her neck with each word. “He’s holding you and you’re…you’re happy. Because you know. He finally tells you. He loves you. He writes it on your arm because he can’t say it, but you know it’s true. You’re so happy. You’re home.”

You don’t know how she knows. Nobody knows but you and Billy and the moonlight you lay in that night. So many nights. It could have been any of them, really. All the nights he’s snuck into your room, bruised and battered and needing you, and you’ve fucked away his sadness and then lain with him, whispering to him how it’s going to be okay.

But you know Eleven means the first night he ever told you. The first night you really believed it. When he traced the letters I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U onto your skin with rough fingertips.

You choke on your tears, another roar rumbling through the Starcourt. And you know that if this thing can live inside of you, you can take life from it, too. Eleven knows it, too. You turn your head to it slowly, trembling, keeping that image of you and Billy entangled in your brain. You want it to be your last memory, your last taste of life.

Billy is too late. He knows when he skids around the corner and finds you bent over El. He’s shouting your name, but you can’t hear him over the towering monster. Max is clinging onto him, begging him not to go to you, and he can’t manage to tear himself away in time. And then you’re rising from El, and he’s still screaming, but none of it matters. The monster reaches out its gnarled limbs, aiming for Eleven. It never gets that far.

You catch it first.

“No! No!” He’s roaring now, too, and you finally turn your head as the monster curls into you, until he can’t tell where you end and it begins. “No.”

You’re mouthing something, and he’s trying so desperately to get to you, but Max and Mike are using every bit of strength to keep him back, keep him safe. Your death is a necessity. His isn’t. He wants so badly for it to be the other way around, because he knows this is it for him, too. You die, he dies. He won’t be able to live his life without you. He can’t.

“I love you,” he realises you’re saying.

Your screams take over after that, piercing and haunting and something he’ll never forget the sound of. More limbs bite into you. Endless limbs.

It’s worse when you stop screaming. When your body turns limp as the monster sucks the life from you. He’s certain that in this new silence, he can hear his heart shattering.

“No,” he whispers over and over again. “No. No.” He’s frozen to the spot, begging his legs to move, to save you, but they’re stuck in the same tar that’s pouring out of your mouth—and he knows when he sees it that there is nothing left. Nothing. His soul is the colour of that blood, the colour of your death.

“No!” A final bellow, a final plea. But it does nothing. You let out a shriek as the monster plunges itself into your heart. He feels it like he’s the one standing there, sacrificing himself. But it would have to be you. The only good thing he's ever had. It would have to be you, because God help he ever had something to live for.

He tastes bile in his throat as the monster rips itself away, leaving you boneless and soaked in your own blood. It’s dying, now, collapsing and taking everything else in its path but he doesn’t care. Somebody is screaming your name and it takes him a moment to realise it’s him, watching you as you tumble to the floor. Lifeless.

As soon as the monster slams down, dead, he races to you, nausea twisting in his stomach. He’s certain he’s going to vomit when he sees you up close, rasping for breath. Still alive.

“Y/N,” he chokes, kneeling and gathering you in his arms. “Don’t you dare. You stay with me, baby. I’m here.” He lets out a sob, burying his face into your neck. The smell of blood suffocates him as he presses down on the wound on your chest. He doesn’t have enough arms for the rest. The life is pouring out of you. He’s trying so badly to scoop it back up and shove it in, like a teddy bear who’s lost its stuffing.

“Baby,” he’s whispering. “Please. Please. Don’t go. Don’t. I can’t… I can’t fucking…” And that’s the crux of it. He can’t. He can’t save you. He can’t live without you. He can’t see a future past this one moment. Only darkness and agony. Yours and his.

“Billy.” The whisper is weak, crackling, but he hears it and his eyes find your face again. Covered in blood, too, but still yours. Still beautiful. Still the one he fell in love with. He never fucking said it out loud. Just traced the letters into your arm with his fingertips like a kid playing games because he was too damn scared.

“I’m here,” he vows, his tears mingling with yours on your cheeks. You knot your hands in his hair, holding on for dear life. You know it isn’t enough. You know when you stop feeling pain, when your body becomes a numb slab of nothing, that it’s over for you. But you’re afraid, and you need to see him one last time, need to feel him, so you keep looking up at him and you keep forcing breaths out of your lungs and it has to be enough. Just another moment is all you want.

“I never told you I loved you,” he whispered, tears clinging to his eyelashes. “Not properly.”

“You didn’t have to.” Despite it all, you force a smile. “I knew. You told me your own way. It was perfect.”

His fingers lace through yours, squeezing tightly. “Don’t make me live without you, Y/N. Don’t fucking make me.”

“I…” It’s hard to talk. Your mouth is filled with cotton, and you’re floating, darkness spotting your vision. “I wish…” You choke on your own blood, and it tastes rotten. This is what you are now. Rotten. Expired. You hope to god he remembers you before this, the nights you made yourself up to look pretty for him. The nights you gazed at him in the moonlight. The nights when your heart still beat and you were still you.

“Don’t.” He shakes his head, desperate. “Don’t. You’re going to be okay. You are.”

“I wish we had more time,” you whisper finally. “I could have loved you forever, Billy Hargrove.” You smile as you remember it all. How special it was to be loved by him, the boy who hated everyone and everything else. To see the tender parts of him when he put his fists away. You’re the only one who knows how kind, funny, loyal, sensitive he is when he’s not pretending. You’re the only one who knows that he kisses your scars when he makes love to you, and that he sings The Cure in the shower.

“You’re gonna. And I’m gonna love you, baby. Forever. You just have to hold on.”

But you can’t. You’re slipping every second, and he knows it, because he’s slipping with you. He’s bleeding out on these damn tiles, holding your hand and feeling it grow cold. Your eyes shift to something past him, glassy and hollow where they once glittered. He sobs again. It should have been him. He wishes it was him.

“You have to let me go now, my love,” you whisper. It’s all you want. For him to be happy without you, to let you go, to live the life you’ll never have. Shadows come to trap you. You can’t see anymore, can’t even see him, but there’s still a tinge of warmth in your palm. Him. You hold onto it, knowing it’s for the last time.

“Never,” he croaks. “I’m never letting you go.”

But you are. You’re letting go. Your final breath is shallow and over too quickly. Life leaves you without a song and dance, without so much as a whisper. You’re just gone, and Billy doesn’t know what to do. He waits for you to blink, to splutter, to laugh, to tell him you love him, but none of it happens. Your eyes are grey, somewhere else.

You’re gone.

The pain falls out of him in a guttural shout that echoes around the Starcourt. Max’s hand is on his shoulder. He doesn’t know how long she’s been standing there, and he knows she should never have had to see it, but he’s too empty to get her out.

He keeps his promise. He holds onto you until they pry your icy hand from his and take you away in a white bag. And even then, he kneels in pools of your blood, soaking up every bit of it as though it will keep you here. Because once he walks out of those doors, that’s it. He’ll have to find a way to live without you, will have to accept it. And he doesn’t want to. He can’t.

“Billy,” Max whispers, kneeling beside him. He barely hears her, his ears ringing. “Let’s go home.”

She was home, he wants to whisper, but words are clogged in his throat, and if you’re not here to hear them, why speak at all? Why do anything at all? He doesn’t know when or how he gets up off that floor. He only knows the agony never ebbs. Every day he wakes up feeling the weight of you curled into him, and every day it takes him minutes, hours, days, to realise it’s not real.

He still traces the letters I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U into his bedsheets, pretending it’s your arms. Pretending you’re here. It’s the only thing he has to hold onto.

It’ll never be enough.

[bing-bang-bingo]

- 4x3: c. 40:00 Cas comforts Dean after Mary makes a deal w/ Azazel

- 4x7: 15:50 Dean stops Sam from shooting Cas, then Sam mentions that he’s “heard a lot about him”

- 4x7: 39:00 Cas tells Dean he prayed he’d save the town, then he tells him about his doubts and Deans future troubles

- 4x10 & ???: Dean calls “last night on Earth” his best line. He uses this line on Cas

- 4x10: 27:15 “Castiel has this weakness. He likes you.”

- 4x10: 32:50 Cas looking jealous and sad when Dean kisses Anna

- 4x16: 7:30 Cas tells Dean he got in trouble for showing emotion and getting to close to Dean. 8:20 “I would give anything not to have you do this”

- 4x16: 39:00 Cas warns Dean to be careful while Dean is in the hospital, they discuss the first seal and saving Dean from hell

- 4x18: 31:30 Cas tells Dean how to save Sam from Lilith even though he’s not allowed to interfere

- 4x20: 38:00 Deans face when Cas tells him he “learned his lesson when he was in heaven”

- 4x22: 30:40 Cas considers rebelling for Dean. 33:00 He does. 35:20 He fights multiple Archangels for Dean

- 5x1: 5:45 Dean denies Cas’ death 8:25 “I learned that from my friend Cas you son of a bitch”

- 5x1: 31:00 Cas saves Sam and Dean from Zach

- 5x3: 6:10 Cas-“I need your help because your the only one who will help me”

- 5x3: 10:20 Dean fixes Cas’ tie and jacket

- 5x4: 38:50 “Don’t Ever Change”

- 5x8: 38:20 Dean makes Gabriel bring Cas back, then makes sure he’s okay

- 5x13: ?:?? Cas won’t let Dean meet with Anna because it’s not safe

- 5x17: 30:30 Cas and Dean discuss what it’s like to have a deadbeat dad

- 5x18: 25:15 Cas kicks Deans ass for trying to sacrifice himself

- 5x21: 3:50 Cas and Dean bickering like and old married couple then Cas gives Dean a heartfelt apology.

- 6x17: 18:55 “No you’re confusing me with the other angel, the one in the dirty trench coat who is in love with you.”

- 6x17: 38:00 Sam: “So you killed 50,000 people for us?” Cas: *looks at Dean*

- 6x19: 25:20 Bobby reassures Cas that they’ll be back soon, Cas acts like a worried and disappointed wife.

- 6x19: 36:25 Cas yelling “Dean!” when Eve bites him

- 6x19: 40:00 Dean is the only one who doesn’t think Cas is working with Crowley (he’s wrong but it’s sweet)

- 6x20: 4:50 Dean v v worried, “But Cas you’ll call right? If you get into real trouble?”

- 6:30 Crowley implies that Cas is distracted by Dean and tells him he reeks of the Impala.

- 7:20 Cas says that Dean taught him how to care and what to care about. Then Cas saves Sam (for Dean)

- 13:15 Cas says that the worst part of working with Crowley (basically his sworn natural enemy) is that it hurt Dean and that he hated lying to him.

- 25:20 Cas refuses to ask Dean for help because he has “sacrificed too much” even though it means Cas could die.

- 26:00 Crowley tells Cas he has a way for everyone to get a happy ending “with all possible entendres intended” while Cas stares longingly at Dean.

- 33:00 Dean is close to tears when he learns that Cas is working with Crowley, Cas says he did it to protect Dean.

- 35:25 “Dammit Cas we can fix this!” “Dean it’s not broken!” He then tells the boys to run from the demon cloud and Dean gives him the saddest look in the world before being forced to leave him behind.

- 38:00 Cas watches Dean sleep. “I’m doing this for you Dean. I’m doing this because of you!”

- 6x21: 22:40 “I do everything you ask. I always come when you call and I am your friend. Still despite your lack of faith in me and now your threats I’ve just saved you yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?”

- 6x22: Dean to Cas- “Don’t make me lose you, too.”

- 7x2: 5:35 Dean nearly cries on screen when he thinks Cas is dead

- 7x17: Cas says “I remember ~you~” as soon as he regains his memories.

- 7x17: Cas ask why Dean didn’t tell him all the horrible things Cas did. Parallels the conversation Karen and Dean had about telling Bobby she remembered him killing her and her telling Dean that he had never been on love before.

- 7x21: The face Dean makes when he sees Cas again plus the prolonged eye contact when Cas says Deans name.

- 7x21: Hester telling Dean that when Cas first saved him from Hell he was lost- parallels- Lucifer/Jess saying she was dead the moment she met Sam.

- 7x23: 8:50 “Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.” Meg to Dean about Cas

- 7x23: 32:45 “I’m sorry but I’d rather have you, cursed or not.”

- 7x23: 36:50 Cas steps in to protect Dean despite spending the whole season avoiding fighting and saying he won’t fight.

- 8x2: 25:00 Cas ran away to keep the Leviathans away from Dean. Dean refuses to leave purgatory without Cas.

- 8x7: 20:30 Deans reaction to seeing Cas all cleaned up.

- 8x7: Dean convinced himself that it was his fault Cas was still in purgatory because he’s a sweet idiot boy who hates himself

- 8x7: 35:00 The whole Dean and Cas conversation about purgatory and Cas doing stuff that puts him in danger.

- 8x8: 12:30 Cas just casually going through Deans stuff and Dean not saying anything.

- 8x8: 13:00 Cas offering to watch over Dean while he slept

- 8x8: 15:15 Dean talks to Cas about feelings and heaven even though Dean hates talking about feelings.

- 8x17: Cas fights Naomi’s mind control for Dean

- 8x23: 22:50 Dean and Cas sadly discuss Cas closing the doors of heaven and say goodbye

- 9x1: Dean prays to Cas and tells him he isn’t mad about the angels falling.

- 9x1: Cas’ first instinct is to explain himself to Dean then to come help him.

- 9x1: Dean begs Cas to “for once, look out for yourself.”

- 9x3: 36:45 Dean to Cas after Cas came back from the dead “Don’t you ever do that again!”

- 9x6: Literally just Dean trying desperately the whole episode to hang out with Cas

- 9x10: 26:00 Dean and Cas talk about how Cas is doing and Dean offers him a rare sincere apology. Plus the “I prefer the term ‘trusting’. Less dumb, less ass.” dialogue

- 9x18: Cas’ little smile when Dean makes a joke about Honor Bars and Cas is just so happy to hear his voice.

- 9x18: Metatron’s illusion of Gabriel calls Cas Dean’s boy-toy

- 9x18: Cas can tell something is wrong with Dean, then Cas yells at Dean about getting the Mark of Cain

- 9x22: Cas chooses Dean over all of Heaven once again

- 9x22: The Cas and Dean conversation about the three of them being enough when an army wasn’t and Cas giving up an army all for Dean

- 9x23: “I’m blaming you for taking Cas’ grace.”

- 10x1: 5:00 Cas about Dean- “I miss him.”

- 10x2: 9:00 Cas’ reaction to learning that Dean is a demon

- 10x3: The conversation between Dean and Cas at the end of the episode. “You look terrible” “You on the other hand, your looking good.”

- 10x5: Deans reaction to Cas and Dean actors hugging and holding hands

- 10x5: “Put as much sub into that text as you possibly can.” *looks directly at fake Cas*

- 10x9: 15:00 Cas tells Dean he’s a good role model. Then asks him if he’s okay and when Dean lies and says he is he pushes it further. Dean makes Cas promise to kill him if he goes Dark

- 10x22: Dean and Cas fight and parallel Cain and his Wife.

- 10x23: Dean sees Cas’ bloody face in the mirror

- 11x1: Cas being more worried about Dean than himself even though Cas is under a spell that will kill him.

- 11x2: Dean calling Cas and stressing out when he doesn’t answer

- 11x3: Dean trying to coax Cas out of the attack dog spell, refusing to fight back when Cas was attacking, freaking out when Cas took a minute to wake up, refusing to let Cas heal him (because he “had it coming”), and refusing to let Cas apologize (because “there’s nothing to apologize for”).

- 11x10: “Dean, I came as soon as you called.” Also: “Stick your tongue out.” Dean-*does*

- 11x11: Dean realizing that something is wrong with Cas (while he is possessed by Lucifer)

- 11x11: Mildred says that Dean is pining for someone else(probably meant to be a reference to Amara, but she told him this after he had seen Cas for the first time in a few days.)

- 11x14: The sadness on Deans face when he realizes Cas is Lucifer and then his determination to save Cas

- 11x15: Dean getting kinda dark when he talks about what he’s willing to do to save Cas and he prioritizes saving Cas over bearing Amara.

- 11x17: Dean once again prioritizing saving Cas over saving the world. Sam reassuring Dean that they’ll save Cas (even though Dean didn’t say anything about what was upsetting him)

- 11x17: The camera zooming in on Dean after Michelle says that there is no normal after losing the man you love.

- 11x18: Dean refuses to put Lucifer in the cage or let him fight Amara while using Cas as his vessel.

- 11x18: The difference in the way Dean looks at Lucifer vs at Cas

- 11x18: Dean about Cas: “Lets go find that idiot and bring him home.”

- 11x19: Dean has been looking for leads non stop for a week since Amara took Cas

- 11x21: Amara uses Cas’s heart to find Dean, then shows Dean images of Cas beaten and bloodied to convince him to turn against Chuck

- 11x23: Dean’s face when he realizes Cas is back and Lucifer is gone.

- 11x23: Dean tells Cas he isn’t stupid and that he always helps

- 11x23: Cas: “Dean are you okay? How do you feel?”

- 11x23: Cas hugging Dean super tight before he goes off to die. Dean entrusting his life’s purpose (look after Sam) then thanking him for everything.

- 12x1: Cas seeing that Dean is alive and hugging him while his voice breaks.

- 12x1: Cas taking the job Dean have him very seriously

- 12x2: Dean adorably venting to Cas about his mommy-issues

- 12x3: Dean- “Morning sunshine want some coffee.” Cas- “No thank you.”

- 12x7: “Well at least I don’t look like a lumberjack.” They are such husbands

- 12x7: “Engaged in what Cas? killing you?”

- 12x8: Cas being so worried about what happened to Sam and DEAN that Kelly escaped.

- 12x9: Mary-“You left them!” Cas- *voice breaking* “Dean told me to go!” Also, just Cas looking so hard for them.

- 12x9: Cas blaming himself for Sam and Dean being taken

- 12x9 Cas knowing how long the boys have been gone down to the hour.

- 12x9: Cas’s voice and eyes when he hears Dean’s voice on the phone.

- 12x9: Cas killing Billie because “You mean too much to me” and “The world needs as many Winchesters as it can get.”

- 12x10: Poor Sam having to deal with Cas and Dean while they fight like an old married couple.

- 12x10: Dean immediately telling Ishim to go to hell when he insults Cas

- 12x10: Sam telling Dean to go to Cas when Dean thought Cas was in trouble

- 12x10: Cas immediately believing Dean about Ishim even though they’re mad at each other. Dean about to let Ishim kill him to save Cas.

- 12x10: Ishim comparing Dean and Cas’s relationship to Ishims relationship with his human lover, then saying he was going to cut Cas’s human weakness

- 12x11: “And Cas is my best friend.”

- 12x12: Dean about Cas- “My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here...”

- 12x12: Dean stressing out and voice breaking as he tries to comfort poisoned Cas

- 12x12: LITERALLY TOLD DEAN THAT HE LOVED HIM WHILE CAS WAS DYING

- 12x12: *looking at Dean* “I love you.” Then adds “I love all of you”

- 12x12: Cas- “Run.” Dean- “Cas, no.”

- 12x12: The look Dean gives Cas when he won’t stop staring at him after he’s healed.

- 12x14: Dean says some very harsh stuff to Mary after finding out the reason they Cas almost died at the lake house was because Mary was working for the British Men of Letters

- 12x15: Dean could tell something was up with Cas after talking to him for less than a minute, over the phone.

- 12x18: Sam trying to make Dean feel better about not hearing from Cas.

- 12x19: Dean literally always acting like a scorned wife when Cas comes back after long periods of time

- 12x19: Dean made Cas a mixtape

- 12x19: Cas- “I ~needed~ to came back here with a win for you.”

- 12x19: Cas- *gesturing between Dean and himself* “You mean... we?” Dean- “Yes, dumbass, we.”

- 12x23: Dean screaming for Cas when he attacks Lucifer and trying to chase after him forcing Sam to drag Dean back through the rift. A direct parallel to Dean pulling Sam away from Jess and the fire in Pilot

- 12x23: Dean kneeling next to Cas’s dead body looking up at the sky completely devastated.

- 13x1: Dean couldn’t bring himself to say dead when referring to Cas

- 13x1: Dean PRAYED to GOD to bring Cas back

- 13x1: “We just lost ~everything~. And now you’re gonna bring ~him~ back.”

- 13x1: Dean personally wrapping Cas’s body and giving him a hunters funeral.

- 13x1: The look of complete devastation on Dean’s face when he burns Cas’s body.

- 13x3: Dean refusing to help save Jack because he blames him for manipulating Cas and getting him killed.

- 13x4: The Empty to Cas: “I know what you love, what you fear. There is nothing for you back there.” He loves Dean and Cas fears that Dean doesn’t love him back.

- 13x5: Sam being worried about Dean who has given up all hope since Cas died.

- 13x5: Dean being so distressed thinking Cas is gone forever that he tries to kill himself

- 13x5: Dean seeing Cas alive again and they both have tears in their eyes.

- 13x6: Dean hugging Cas and saying he’s been gone for “too damn long”

- 13x6: Dean being immediately happier and nicer to everyone once Cas is back

- 13x6: Cas saying “Yes. Yes, he does” (in response to Jack saying Dean really likes cowboys) with the tone of an exhausted spouse.

- 13x6: “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper. Like a bear.”

- 13x6: Dean made Cas watch Tombstone with him.

- 13x6: Dean and Cas dresses like cowboy husbands.

- 13x6: Cas saying “I’m your huckleberry” to Dean in a deep accent and Dean looking away.

- 13x6: Their undercover names are Russel and Kilmer

- 13x14: The whole scene where Cas and Dean fight Gog/Magog and act like an old married couple.

- 13x14: The angry, dark look Cas gives Donatello when he tries to kill Dean

- 13x16: “Dean has him by the thigh!” Cas, jealously: “He ~what~?”

- 13x16: “and that includes the Cartwright twins.” Cas, again jealously: “what did you do with the Cartwright twins?”

- 13x19: Cas angrily confronting Naomi about forcing him to kill a bunch of Dean clones.

- 13x21: Cas secretly sliding Dean more pizza when Mary and Sam left the room.

- 13x21: Cas having to hold Dean back from going after Sam. Dean would have beat the shit out of anyone else who tried to stop him.

- 13x23: Cas trying to stop Dean from giving himself to Michael even if it meant losing Sam AND Jack

- 13x23: Cas sitting alone in the bum jet with tears in his eyes after Dean left

- 14x1: Demon: “How is it you lost Dean. I thought you two were joined at the... everything.”

- 14x1: Dean trying to save Cas from Lucifer then vs Cas trying to save Dean from Michael now

- 14x3: The look that Dean and Cas give each other when Dean comes home.

- 14x9: Cas almost being happy seeing Dean happy. And then having to force himself to not be happy so he doesn’t die.

- 14x12: Cas being phased at Dean for wanting to put himself in the box with Michael forever

- 14x14: Cas is the only Dean will let talk to him about Michael and be honest about how Dean feels

- 14x14: “No, it’s on us.”

- 14x14: Cas’s voice breaking when he talks about the possibility of Dean dying one day.

- 14x18: The pure self loathing in Cas’s eyes when he feels like he failed Dean by not telling him about Jack’s soul.

- 15x2: “You asked ‘what about all of this is real?’ We are.” THE MOST ROMANTIC LINE EVER. (Plus later Eileen and Sam have the same conversation but they get to kiss because homophobia)

- 15x9- 20:00 Dean said that they lost everyone they cared about, then added Cas specifically. Then he says “I had to bury him” not “we”

- 15x9- 23:00 Dean cries when he can’t find Cas. Then he prays to him and apologizes for letting him go. He falls to his knees praying to him and fully crying

- 15x12: “I created the world.” *shows Destiel*

- 15x15: This time when Dean sees Cas leaving the bunker, he stops him. (In reference to Cas saying “you didn’t stop me” when Dean got mad at him for leaving)

- 15x16: This is the the only version of Cas that rebelled for Dean. This universe is literally being saved repeatedly because of Cas’s love for Dean

- 15x18: CAS CONFESSES HIS LOVE TO DEAN then goes to mega hell for being gay

Anyway, Cas loves Dean and Dean LOVES HIM BACK, OKAY?!?!? Feel free to add more

[astaroth1357]

Brothers React to the MC Looking at Them Lovingly

This is a personal experiment. This is the very first time I've written one of these with a goal in mind, "Make them fall in love all over again." It's a tall order. I hope I succeeded. 🙏 Special thanks to @a-chaotic-dumbass for picking the mood for this one!

Intro:

We all know that look. The one where one person stares at another like they just realized they're the only thing in the universe and they're in fucking awe of it. The kind of look that tells you they're utterly enthralled by that other person and just can't get enough of their presence. That look. Yeah, the brothers just got that look out of the MC.

Let's warm some cold hearts, everybody.

Lucifer

Lucifer was always beautiful. Always has been, as an angel or a demon.

A morning star is one that outshines all the rest. It stands out when the other stars have dimmed, holding onto its luster in defiance of the sun. 

There couldn't be a truer title for Lucifer to have. Not the horrors of war nor the fires of Hell could tarnish his radiance in any way…

But there were moments, like right then, where the MC caught a glimpse of a different sort of Lucifer.

His brothers would often only see the uptight Lucifer, the practiced visage of perfection that he tried so hard to keep up… 

But after a long day, when he thinks he's alone, he retires to his room to listen to his music and the difference is astonishing.

There's something so entrancingly calm about him… How the light of the fireplace flickers and dances across his alabaster skin to the subtle slouch of his posture. His face no longer marred by creases of stress and frustration… 

And his expression is so pure… So tranquil and at peace… Beauty without effort. A shine that can't be ignored. A morning star, in the truest sense of the word…

It took awhile for Lucifer to see the MC leaning against his doorframe.

They were staring at him with the oddest look… Smiling like they were enraptured by something, but he didn't have a clue why. He was just sitting there…

So, naturally, he turned to suspicion.

"Am I really that amusing…?"

Frankly, he wasn’t prepared for the little laugh they let out in response.

"Mm? No, no... I'm just always so amazed by you, is all. I'll leave you to your music..."

Having thoroughly ruined the mood, the MC then turned to leave. But Lucifer was already upon them before they could step away, wrapping his arms around their waist and letting contented hum escape his chest.

"Going so soon…?"

Apparently he appreciated the compliment.

Mammon

He didn't have to do it.

When Belphie bumped into one of the House's vases, shattering it against the tile, he didn’t have to take the fall for it.

It wasn’t connected to him at all. He could have stayed quiet and no one would have pointed a finger at him for once.

But he did.

When Mammon set his phone down on the table, MC knew instantly that he had lied in the chat.

He was with them the entire day, he didn't have the time to accidentally break a vase. He hadn't even gone down that hallway all day...

But he said something anyway.

And he didn't even look fazed. He didn't turn towards them seeking approval nor did he look irritated that Belphie didn't speak up. He didn't curse at himself for doing something so self-sacrificing either...

When Mammon leaned back into the cushion of his couch, the MC saw something truly remarkable on his face… A smile. A small one, sure, but relaxed… 

Assured in his own actions. Confident in his choice and accepting the consequences… undeserved, and likely thankless, they may be.

A genuine, serene smile…

Mammon wasn't sure what he expected to see when he turned to the MC. Probably confusion or disbelief that he, the Great Mammon, could be so selfless.

Definitely not the awed, lovestruck look he got...

"G-gah!" He panicked slightly and pressed himself back against the armrest of the couch in shock. "Wh-... What'cha lookin at me like that for??"

When the MC didn't answer after a few seconds and just kept staring, he honestly didn't know what to do. Were they broken or something??

"Oi, MC! I asked ya wh-Hey wait a minute!!"

He made a noise between a yelp and a shout when the MC leapt forward and latched their arms onto him. What had gotten into them??

"U-uh… MC? MC?? Damnit MC, answer me already!! Or at least stop squeezin so tight!!... MC!!!"

Leviathan 

To anyone else, it was just Levi being Levi.

He had finished a new episode of his latest animated obsession and he had to share it with someone. Anyone would do, but the MC was always willing to lend an ear.

Something about Levi really changes when he talks about his passions… It's like he comes alive in a whole new way.

He speaks at a mile-a-minute, but that's because he's so excited the words fly from his mouth. 

Some part of him is always bouncing, be it his leg or body. Sometimes even his tail will swish and curl behind him like an ecstatic puppy. And his eyes… 

Citrine pools that glimmer and dilate from the exhilaration of it all. It's his little world and anyone can see he's thrilled to be sharing it. 

You'd never know he was shy. You'd never think he'd look down himself. You'd never guess that he hid himself away… Why would someone so full of passion and life ever want to? Some things are just too beautiful to keep hidden...

Levi had only gotten six minutes into his latest rant before he finally registered how the MC was staring at him…

This man has seen enough shoujo to know what that look means and it shut him up sooo quick. If anyone else were in the room they would have seen a beet-red Levi desperately trying to hide his face.

"M-MC…! S-top staring at me like that…!!"

"Like what~?" 

He didn't have to look at them to hear the teasing lilt in their voice.

"MC…" He peeked out from behind his fingers to see them still staring and covered himself up more vigorously. "Stoooop…!!!"

But secretly? He wished they'd never stop. His cheeks may have been red from embarrassment, but his heart was trying to hammer its way out of his chest to hug them itself. Hell, he'd have happily given it over to them if they'd asked…

Please just let those loving eyes be for him and him alone...

Satan

Soft isn't exactly a word anybody would use to describe Satan, least of all himself.

His anger was quick to spark, his strength was nothing to scoff at, and even his smiles were nothing but plastic for nearly all of his existence…

Nearly.

The MC learned surprisingly quick that there was one thing that could bypass all of the hidden ferocity to Satan's personality. Something that could make him melt like butter in the summer sun…

Satan had always looked a little cute when he was reading. He was easily at his most expressive when engrossed in a thrilling story or deeply intrigued by something he found between the pages of a book…

But watching Satan read about cats, as he was right then, was really something else entirely.

Maybe it was the way his emerald eyes would sparkle or the lopsided grin he just couldn't hide as he would scan the pages about the playful habits of Bengals or the relaxed nature of Ragdolls…

Maybe it was the sheer impassioned dedication he took the subject, pouring countless hours into collecting and memorizing every fact he could from their diets to coat maintenance.

Or maybe it was the sheer fact that anytime he saw a picture of kitty in-print he looked like a besotted schoolgirl drawing hearts around her crush in a teen magazine.

Really, who's to say? But to the MC, it was proof that under all that anger, there was a tender, loving center even for the smallest, softest creatures…

Satan automatically snapped his book closed when he saw MC watching him from behind a bookshelves. Caught red-handed…

He knows exactly how he looks when he's doing his research internally squealing over cat pictures so he tries to do so in private...

He was about to sputter out a defensive explanation but then he registered their face…

He'd seen that look described in stories, romance novels mostly, but he'd rarely seen it in action… and never once leveled at him with such intensity…

Not to be cliche, but frankly his heart skipped a beat.

Satan forgot about his book briefly and got up to close the distance between them, tilting their chin up to keep their eyes on him.

"Like something that you see, Kitten?"

"You could say that…"

He laughed at their attempt to play coy, but let it slide just this once… Easy to do with them looking at him so amorously.

Asmodeus 

Asmo is a very popular demon. Someone so free ought to know quite a lot of people, after all.

And, of course, he had plenty of fans. He made DevilTube videos, hosted radio shows, fashion designed, and even modeled.

So it wasn't very surprising when a young demoness stopped him while he and the MC were out shopping. It wasn’t the first time he had been asked to sign autographs, but this meeting… it was different.

It was clear to them both that this girl was shy. Though she held out the paper, her eyes stayed firmly on the ground and she stumbled on her question… She likely a fan from afar, but everything about her seemed meek… unassuming.

Most people would have just gave the autograph then went on with their day. The interaction could have taken five seconds at most… but not Asmo.

He asked her name… where she was from, how she was feeling, her favorite foods, outfits, makeup, you name it. All with investment.

It was amazing to watch the shy young woman slowly open up, getting more bright and cheerful with each passing question until it evolved into a healthy conversation.

When their little meeting finally wrapped up, he gave her back the paper (now signed) but also fished out a bottle of perfume from among the mountains of bags he was carrying. He gave it to her and wouldn't hear anything to the contrary, he could always buy another.

None of his brothers ever gave Asmo enough credit for his giving nature… even if he had his own way of going about it. Though he cared so much about image and his ability to shine, he never hesitated to make sure that the people around him shined too...

Asmo waved to the fan as she scampered away and was about to  apologize to the MC when he saw their face…

The man knows this look well. He's seen it a billion times, though it was particularly cute coming from them.

"Awww MC! Taken by my beauty are you~?"

He was about ready to kiss their cheek when they responded.

"No, not your looks, Asmo… with you."

… Oh.

It was very rare to see Asmo speechless, but for a few seconds his mind seemed to take in their words… letting them fully sink in before his heart utterly melting.

Oh MC… His sweet MC!!

Asmo ended up dropping the rest of his bags just so he could properly litter his human in nuzzles and kisses, the both of them humming and giggling in delight despite their shameless PDA.

Of course it would be his MC to see that part in himself… Who else would take the time?

Beelzebub 

Food is a precious resource to Beel. For him, it's a lifeline. A good meal could save him from the brink of starvation…

But that still doesn't make him incapable of sharing from time to time.

He and the MC were walking back to the House after getting takeout from Hell's Kitchen. Beel hadn't even waited until they left the restaurant to start eating his share, spilling the smell of fresh food into the air around them…

Things were going fine on their route back until they heard whimpering behind them…

A hellhound puppy, not quite old enough to bear its fangs, seemingly followed them as they were walking… It looked like it had been out for some time and eyed their food with hungry eyes, but weak posture. Who knows when it last had a meal?

The MC was about to tug at Beel's sleeve and say something, but their demon was ahead of them this time.

A casual observer might have gawked at the sight of Gluttony kneeling down to offer such a lowly creature a sandwich. But the MC knew better. When you spend your whole life hungry, nobody more than you understands that kind of pain in someone else. 

This reaction wasn't out of character for Beel, it was elementary.

And when the puppy finished its meal and covered Beel's cheeks with appreciative licks, he just laughed and scratched behind its ears. Amethyst eyes looking more relieved at its health than disappointed he lost some of his lunch...

Food was Beel's lifeline, but kindness is what made him who he was…

When the pup finally scampered off, Beel looked over at the MC to tell them it'd be alright and saw their face…

He wasn't really sure what they were staring at… Did he have something between his teeth again?

"MC? Are you okay...?"

They laughed at him for some reason but pulled him in for a hug so they must have meant well.

"You're so sweet, Beel…"

Beel's never one to refuse a compliment so he just hugged them back, beaming.

"Thank you, MC…"

Belphegor 

To say that Belphegor tended to be on the melancholic side would be an understatement… It wasn’t that he was incapable of expressing joy, it was just harder for him to do than most. Not helped, of course, by his tendency to keep his true feelings vague and hard to pinpoint.

But on those rare occasions where he was overjoyed… Belphie could really be something special…

The MC and Belphie were attending one of Beel's games and it was a tight one… Both teams had spent most of it tied and Beel's team was running out of time to overtake that slim margin.

Belphie had always been a supporter of his twin's athletics, but this time it was tense even for him. He kept on the edge of his seat and didn't even nod off during the breaks like he normally would… The MC could just tell how nervous he was for Beel…

But right as the time was about to run out, Beel made a last minute score and sure, the whole field erupted, but Belphie? Belphie hollered.

The normally sleepy and mellow demon was on his feet in an instant and practically shredding his vocal chords in excitement. If his tail had been out, it would have been beating against the bleachers like a war-drum. And his expression?

Belphie's smile is said to stop hearts for a reason. When he puts his all into a grin it's almost like he ascends to Heaven once more, as pure as an angel's choir and as warm as a summer's breeze… Nothing in his eyes but pride and adoration for his beloved twin brother.

Truly, a heartwarming sight to behold…

Belphie didn't calm down until the rest of the crowd settled and was about to point out Beel's skill to the MC when he noticed their face.

… oh no… Why do they look so sappy…?

"You really love your brother, don't you?"

Belphie quickly hid his thoughts behind an irritated frown and plopped back down in his seat… but that didn't shield them from seeing his pink cheeks.

"Of course I do. What kind of question is that?"

He debated just joining Beel on the field to hide his embarrassment when he heard them snicker back.

"Yeah, you're right… Don't mind me."

Oh he minded. He minded a lot that he let his carefully veiled image slip like that. But thinking back to that smile on their face…?

Maybe being a little open wasn't so bad after all...

[mxtxfanatic]

All of your examples fall apart when you realize that 1) jiang cheng literally does blame wei wuxian for the both the deaths of the jiang family and the fall of lotus pier. He blames wwx for this so much that jin ling tells the other juniors that wwx ordered wen ning to kill his parents. Yes, both of them, despite jiang yanli sacrificing her life to save wwx, a sacrifice that jc witnessed but still chose to murder wwx afterwards. If jc “didn’t really mean it” or only believed it “when he was a child,” then why is he literally still accusing wwx of this 13 years later in the 11th hour of the novel in guanyin temple up until wwx is finally like “sure, think of my golden core as ‘payment’ for the deaths of your family, as long as we part ways”? Why does he never at any point in the 2,000-page story ever retract any of his accusations? You’re right that jc logically knows that wwx isn’t actually to blame for any of these issues, but the point of his character is that he blames wwx anyways because it’s easier than self-reflection and personal growth if he can just make himself the victim of malicious intent rather than unfortunate circumstances and his own actions. He never thinks outside of his temper. It’s a trait he takes up directly from his mother.

And 2) that civilian man who came to talk to jc while he was in a “bad mood” didn’t just show up, get scared at “rumors,” and leave. He showed up, saw jc flaying a man alive on the training grounds that face the outside, was then told “the sect leader is in a bad mood because he caught the wrong one again,” and decides to not come back. Jin Ling says that his earliest memories are jc torturing people. Jc literally tortures wwx with a dog in the story, and jin ling has to lie about running into the ghost general to rescue him. Jc also isn’t torturing demonic cultivators; he’s torturing people who remind him of wwx. Every example of his torture and murder sessions is him being obsessed with the idea of finding wwx’s spirit possessing someone so as to be able to kill him “again.” He stops doing this completely in post-canon when wwx marries into the lan clan (though this doesn’t stop him from trying to kill wen ning, a man who saved his life a total of three times in the story and saved his last living relative twice).

But even if any of your points were true, people are allowed to not like a character who lashes out at others for issues not their fault. People are allowed to dislike a character who commits torture and murder for the sake of vengeance against a man who did nothing to him. At the very least, people are allowed to dislike a character who willingly planned and led a massacre of a bunch of harmless people, including elders and a child, just because his childhood servant told him that he wouldn’t let them die just to continue working for him. That’s not “twisting the story” to dislike a character. That’s just not liking his character. “Twisting the story” is strategically ignoring certain scenes that show us his character to make an argument that he’s “misunderstood, actually.”

People really twist the story to justify their hate for Jiang Cheng.

[fedzkun]

Villain Hunt Arc Meta: All For One’s Horrific Guide to Methodically Breaking Down Your Local OFA Holder

Ft. Turning the ‘Overpoweredness’ of OFA into a Setback, and AFO’s Successful Manipulations Of Midoriya Izuku

In which I also give AFO too much credit for all the pain he’s probably caused, and theorize that his plans to break Izuku actually started getting enacted even before he’d escaped Tartarus.

(A.k.a. me loving the angst because this is really good angst writing, but also hating it because the manga doesn’t come with a Angst with A Happy Ending tag unless you count Izuku’s ‘this is the story of how I became the greatest hero’ which isn’t really a guarantee of happiness )

So. What an arc! In the span of ten chapters (starting from the end of the War arc) Hori delivered a full-on Villain-looking, Vigilante Midoriya Izuku. Congratulations, Horikoshi, for finally introducing Akatani Mikumo!

The fast pacing and lack of breather panels are so fitting for this arc truly. AFO never gave them a moment’s rest. Yes, from henceforth as he’d promised... It’s always going to be his turn.

Izuku is making amazing progress with unlocking the full power of One For All. In his words, his abilities might as well already be on par with what a healthier All Might could do, and with no recoil to boot. Plus, there’s only one last quirk to unlock. For villain fights, I don’t think we need to worry about him losing, or him breaking anymore bones at this time.

Which, some might argue, makes Izuku too ‘OP.’

To start with, I want to talk first about the ‘overpoweredness’ of the One For All quirk. It’s a wonderful quirk truly, having inspired and amazed so many because of its sheer power. Used well, it could grant instant victories and restore the people’s wavering faith to the heroes. Because with a quirk like that on your side, everything’s going to be alright, right? There’s always gonna be that bit of hope that something is still strong enough to stand against the looming evil...right?

Yeah. That’s what the people who’d lived under All Might’s Era of Peace thought so too. History repeats.

OFA’s ‘OP-ness’ is both a great blessing and a great burden.

Here are some points on how the narrative has made OFA's 'overpoweredness' a setback:

1. All For One—that bastard—exploits the urge that comes with OFA. Just as ‘AFO the quirk’s’ goal is to steal OFA, OFA’s job is to defeat AFO, and Izuku is sacrificing himself to its cause.

Here’s another thing I want to point out: The conclusion that the heroes drew about AFO planning to capture Midoriya Izuku alive? In rereading, I’m starting to believe it’s nothing but a mere assumption of his plans. Aside from the deal made with Lady Nagant—of which I think AFO didn’t take seriously anyway and set her up for failure— (and while we as readers are already aware of his true intentions to wear Izuku down) it’s weird that nowhere had AFO directly mentioned to Izuku that he’s going to kidnap him and take his quirk from him.

2. OFA made Izuku so brilliant (e.g. Pros and former Pros alike going “This kid...”) that they really can't help but place all their hopes on him. Sighs. In an ideal world, this would be a dream come true of Izuku getting his due credit for all his heroic achievements Pro heroes have started to do to Izuku what they’ve done all their lives to All Might--which is to put him on the pedestal, while they fall back to cover him like guards/safety net. Hence, falling back to the One Pillar Model mindset.

3. OFA makes Izuku untouchable, not only to the villains, but also to his allies. Prime material to reinforce isolation. And if Izuku doesn't want to be caught, he won't make it easy for either side.

4. OFA IS SUS AF, OKAY? What are the Holders doing?! While gaining access to them makes it easier and convenient to have personal trainers in handling OFA, the vestiges prove to add a lot to Izuku’s mental load. If they’d allowed Izuku to come to the point of being caked with blood and filth, they’re not doing very well at guiding him. Realize that most of their arc interactions with Izuku is Quirk Talk. They, of all people, should know how AFO’s machinations work! Hey First, for the love of god, warn Izuku! He’s showing so many signs of being manipulated that you should be picking up on. please /sobs ;;

Tbf, like, I’m pretty sure that the Holders haven’t been as mentally okay either, which would feed into Izuku’s current mindset.

Now that the setbacks have been listed, let’s dive in to AFO’s plans to toy with Midoriya Izuku.

PHASE 1: Pre-Tartarus Breakout

Speaking of OFA being sus, there’s something that has been niggling at the back of my mind.

All For One basically tells Izuku: “You were my main interest that entire time I was in prison”. So, to pass the time in Tartarus (since he can’t use any(?) of his quirks), AFO has been doing nothing but apparently daydreaming and designing a personal hell for the Ninth Holder during that entire period. HOWEVER, it also made me wonder…

…Even before he’d broken out, had AFO made any moves at all in enacting his plans to break Izuku?

Yeah?

And here’s the kicker: he says that before Blackwhip bursted out.

AFO is a master manipulator. Assuming that Izuku doesn’t have any latent AFO quirk (for whatever reason *coughs* maybe dfo if you're a believer) or that Quirk Singularity has anything to do with it, what is the trigger to Izuku suddenly having access to Blackwhip?

I’d argue that it is All For One himself.

Why? What’s his goal? If you notice during the Joint Training arc, Izuku is feeling pretty confident about his progress. He’s rather happy and feeling blessed, and he is making leaps and bounds with base power OFA.

AFO can’t have that. He can’t allow the Ninth Holder to become too emotionally stable, or else he’d have a stronger will. So by somehow activating Blackwhip, AFO makes Izuku feel like he hasn’t made any progress with his quirk at all. During the evaluations, Izuku mentions that he still needs a lot to work on, and while not all of it is visible, with the way he behaves, it’s pretty evident that his self-confidence has taken a rather large hit.

But, wait! If AFO had tampered with OFA during the JT arc, paving the way to unlocking the rest (like he’d also done during the War arc when he tried to ‘steal’ it then), then wouldn’t AFO be sabotaging himself since he’d be making Izuku a more formidable opponent?

Sure. Except that the quirks inside OFA are mostly useless when it comes to the mental part of the fighting. The only thing they’re useful for is for the current Holder to be able to play keep-away in the physical realm. And AFO could easily just find counters for those through his work on Tomura.

You know how else the situation becomes advantageous for AFO? With every quirk unlocked, Izuku’s goalposts keep on getting away from him, and Izuku will always feel like he isn’t ready or prepared enough. Izuku will push and push himself to master OFA to its fullest, to become more powerful, at the cost of his mental/emotional stability and physical wellbeing as he wears himself down.

And every time Izuku grew more powerful, and became more ‘OP,’ he is burdened with all the aforementioned setbacks that came with it. He could be the most powerful person in the world, but it’s all for naught if he doesn’t take care of himself. This plan is both a high risk and high reward on AFO’s part, and as of the moment, with a bloody Izuku staggering all over, AFO is visibly reaping these high rewards.

PHASE 2: Post-Tartarus Breakout

He’s going to toy with Izuku until Izuku fucking breaks. What follows is his series of actions that instills the desired responses from Midoriya Izuku. Let’s see how the master manipulator plays this game of chess, shall we?

Izuku’s plan: Reach out to villains and try to save them.

AFO’s counter: Kill off those who turn their back against villainy and/or acknowledge Izuku as a true hero.

Izuku’s resulting response: Stop reaching out to villains. Gain an instant victory and move on.

After all, what do you get when you block a hero from showing sympathy? You get an unfeeling living weapon.

---

Izuku’s plan: Work with the top pro heroes to bring down AFO.

AFO’s counter: Make plans that will serve to highlight how the top pros are just slowing Izuku down. (e.g. Making moves while it’s raining, so as to divide them, but also to bring out No. 1 Hero Endeavor’s "slowness" in the rain. Nope, I don’t think that’s a throwaway line at all.)

Izuku’s resulting response: Grows more reckless, often leading the charge.

---

Izuku’s plan: Track AFO down.

AFO’s counter: Lead them to dead-ends. Or when they do supposedly reach something, endanger them.

Izuku’s resulting response: His tunnel vision worsens, as he grows more desperate.

---

Izuku’s plan: All Might following him around is okay since it would help All Might from worrying so much, and Izuku could simultaneously keep an eye on and protect All Might.

AFO’s counters: There are a lot to really fuck with this bond, damn you AFO.

Taint that passing the torch memory of ‘You’re Next.’

Declare that All Might no longer interests him. Liar. He outright stated before that he’s one for keeping a grudge

Send another assassin to Izuku [Underlying Message: You yourself are a walking danger zone to those whom you dearly care for.]

Izuku’s resulting response:

Interpret that memory of ‘You’re Next’ as taking up the position of being AFO’s shiny new plaything, and therefore supposedly sparing All Might from the torment (Unfortunately, making Izuku push AM away is just part of the torment ;A;)

Think that AM is no longer in the direct line of fire as long as AFO focuses on Izuku

Finally, push his last line of morale support away, and completely isolate himself.

Btw, I wonder how All Might feels about Izuku using Nana's quirk to get away from him.

---

The suffering doesn’t end.

Izuku’s plan: Save people.

AFO’s counters: (possibly offscreen) Send more villains and assassins to torment Izuku some more with the knowledge that he can’t save them. Sending villains out also puts innocents in danger.

Izuku’s resulting response: He won’t stop for anything. He won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t slow down. He will always do his best to save as long as someone is in danger.

His body will keep on moving and moving and MOVING on its own.

--- All For One is very effective as a supervillain. He has managed to make the heroes think that his only goal is to capture Izuku alive for his quirk. He has Izuku right where he wants him: dancing to his tune at the palm of his hand, utterly toyed with, left with no escape in sight.

Psychologically vaulted.

.

.

.

PHASE 3

And so, if Izuku is being manipulated to drive himself further and further into self-destruction, what then is there left for All For One to do?

So much more. Because, my god, I think AFO has mastered the art of traumatizing the OFA Holders.

All For One once told All Might, “I will destroy all that you’ve protected.” And boy, is he delivering. He's definitely not done with AM btw.

First, he destroys All Might's image. And he is manipulating Izuku to drive himself to that point. To looking into his absolute worst.

And when that point arrives, AFO will hammer the final nail home.

Something like...

BEHOLD

JAPAN’S SYMBOL OF PEACE.

And oh, how it'll hurt. To see All Might's pride and joy be flaunted about as looking nothing like a hero to the masses, for him to be so utterly humiliated.

"See what I did to All Might's successor."

AFO will be banking upon the possibility that the angry masses will not want to be saved by whom they're tricked into viewing as someone that's the cause of all the pain. Izuku might have the willpower to stay true to his resolve, but with him on the verge of total breakdown, what would happen when he is shunned by the very people he is trying to help?

I once wrote a post about how the current events seem to be a bastardization of Izuku's wildest fantasies: he's working with the top pros, he has the most powerful quirk, and he's working with All Might (whom technically acts as a sidekick to him rn).

AFO has warped all that into a never-ending nightmare. And Izuku...

Izuku is really in need of saving.

Last thoughts:

Let me just say that it shouldn't be a competition about who gets to get through to Izuku. Right now, he’s gonna need all the help he can get, and it can’t be delivered by only one or two people. Saving Izuku is going to be a team effort, a solid support system that sees Izuku as their classmate/friend/student/actual person that they care about. And there’s sufficient space for that.

More hands reaching out means more chances to catch him if he falls.

[linkspooky]

THE TOP THREE HEROES ARE ALL FAILURES

In the sense that Enjdeavor, Hawks, and Jeanist all embody the failures of the hero system. The first clear sign that all three people who were set to inherit All Might’s Legacy would fail in doing so, is that none of them really understood what kind of hero was in the first place. 

Endeavor only ever saw All Might’s Strength, and thought All Might’s genuine desire to save people was just him playing to the crowd. Hawks thought Endeavor’s desire to surpass All Might was heroic, and what made him a better hero because he didn’t give up when everybody else said it was hopeless, but we the audience know Endeavor gave up early and took it out on his family instead. Best Jeanist thinks what’s most important of all isn’t saving people but rather “The Image” of Heroes to the public. Except, the only reason All Might was a hero obsessed with image is because he wanted even those he could not reach to be able to live in peace and save themselves. 

The top three heroes are all lacking in what All Might had, in that none of them actually believe that Heroes should save people. Enji believes in strength above all else, Hawks in sacrificing one’s self for the faceless masses, and Best Jeanist in the image of heroes to the public. 

It’s really showing that the option of “Saving Dabi” did not even occur to them once, despite the fact that they are completely willing to give a helping hand to the man who made Dabi.

The current number one, two and three heroes are all obsessed with All Might’s Legacy, however all of them are failures to All Might’s Legacy as well because they don’t understand the underlying ideal of heroes saving people. All three of them represent the failures of hero society, which is why they aren’t shown being overly concerned at hero society’s victims. Even when it’s revealed that one of hero society’s greatest villains Dabi, was actually one of hero society’s greatest victims too, created by one of their own, their beliefs barely change.

1. Enji Todoroki 

Enji was never concerned with saving others being the job of a hero. His one and only focus was just to be the strongest. He even has a shallow view of All Might’s ideals and goals because of this. He thinks the reason that All Might won number one was because 1) his all powerful strength and 2) his popularity with people. 

Enji never once mentions that All Might became the hero he was, because his number one priority in every situation was to save as many people as he could. Because, Enji doesn’t view it as the job of heroes to save others. 

Toshinori worked so hard because he genuinely wanted to be the shining light for others. He didn’t become the number one hero because it was his own personal dream, but rather because it was others needed of him. All Might isn’t a perfect hero either, but there’s still a difference between someone who wanted the number one spot because he genuinely thought it would save the most people, and someone who wanted the number one spot because he wanted to be the strongest.

Even after Endeavor’s supposed revelation where he saw Shoto being gentle with flames, rather than forceful and violence, Enji became the exact same kind of hero he was before. 

Think of the way Enji fought Shigaraki, burning him alive. He made several attempts to kill him during their fight, even though the rule is heroes absolutely must not kill, that’s what makes them different from villains. Heroes prioritize the safety of people, and saving civilians, except for Endeavor apparently. Endeavor as a hero is the exact same kind of hero he was before, and the flaw with that is if he had fought Dabi the same way he had fought Shigaraki.

He would have burned his own son alive. Enji isn’t even concerned in the least with saving people, even when the person most in need of saving is his own son. He sees villains as an absolute evil for him to punch and beat up in order to prove his own strength. The only way Enji knows how to be a hero is violently taking down crime and no one has ever challenged this, even though it’s the exact attitude that led Toya to his death.

Enji, only ever taught Dabi how to turn up the heat, because Enji wasn’t actually that concerned with his son’s well being. Toya was only worth something to him when he was strong, so Enji only ever taught Toya how to be the strongest hero and nothing else that a father should teach his son. Even now, Enji doesn’t let go of this idea of his that he has to be the number one hero, and being the strongest hero will solve all of his problems. 

Endeavor has used playing hero again and again as an excuse to run away. Now that Hawks is giving him another chance to be hero, he’s enabling him to run away again. 

It’s incredible how still even after the reveal, it’s always Toya who has to pay for the consequences of Endeavor’s mistakes. Toya is left alone to burn to death and spends the rest of his life covered in burns forgotten by his father, and it’s Endeavor who gets the unconditional support and love Toya needed as a child offered to him, just because he happened to be a hero. If he was a villain he would have just been locked up.

Endeavor is framed as the hero who does not give up, and yet, he very easily runs away and lets Toya take the blame for the majority of his actions. If Toya had been able to carry his dream he would not have abused Shoto. If Toya had not died that day he would not have doubled down even harder on Shoto. Toya’s the reason they could not come together as a family. It’s never Endeavor’s actions, it’s always, somehow, Toya who is blamed, and Toya who is burned as the consequence of Endeavor’s actions. Now, Toya is the one who needs to be stopped when Enji is just as guilty. 

I’m not saying that Enji should not be given a chance to get better, but why is the good side of Enji’s actions expressed over and over again and not Toya’s? Toya is trying to reform all of society. Toya is trying to hold his dad accountable for abusing him and neglecting him to the point that he died. That’s murder. Someone who lets their children die because they couldn’t be bothered to supervise them can be charged with involuntary manslaughter in a court of law. Enji has killed too, but rather than admit to his own flaws it’s must easier to cast Toya s the villain that needs to be stopped and himself as the hero that needs everyone’s support. 

Toya deserves the same chance that Enji got. 

2. Hawks

Hawks only saw self sacrifice in All Might’s actions. He saw someone harming himself over and over again for the sake of others, and that’s probably why he admired Enji’s pursuit of strength more because it was the opposite of him. 

If Enji is the extreme result of the attitude that villains can’t be saved, only stopped by putting themselves down with violence, then Hawks is the extreme result of self sacrifice. Hawks seems like the ideal hero on paper, he would do anything, and give up any part of himself to save a faceless stranger just like All Might. However, Hawks also has decided that he has the right to sacrifice others as well.

Hawks is self-destructive. That’s the extreme end of self sacrifice. However, unlike All Might who took the burden entirely on himself, Hawks will choose others to sacrifice as well. If Hawks sees himself as a tool for the greater good he will extend that to others as well. If Hawks sees himself as a bad victim who turned his back on their parents, he extends that to others as well. 

So basically, Hawks’ number one problem is with himself. He can’t reconcile his past. He feels guilty for being abused by his parents. He feels guilty for not forgiving the same abusive parents. He puts everything he has into being a hero, and yet, he doesn’t feel like he himself is a hero. Hawks’ only way he knows to feel good about himself is to continuously sacrifice himself for the sake of others. 

Because he learned when he was young the only way to be good was by sacrificing himself to protect others. He only received the help he needs because he showed he was “one of the good victims” but deep down internally he feels like he’s the bad one, for not being able to do anything for his mother, for not reaching out to her. 

Hawks can’t see himself as a victim and it messes with the way he sees other victims as well. He divides them into good and bad, and then tells himself that he’ll offer to help the good ones, the ones willing to improve. Hawks’ represents Hero Society’s own willingness to throw the bad victims to the dogs. 

It’s specifically Hawks who Twice calls this out on. So we have a number one hero who thinks the only way to deal with villains is to violently suppress them, and the number two hero that thinks the only people who deserve to be saved is the ones he deems as “Good” or “Trying to be better.” 

It’s all because Hawks has this really self destructive idea of what kindness is. That kindness is somehow destroying yourself for the sake of others, that it’s being overly forgiving and not holding any resentment at all. 

It’s like how Deku acts like forgiving his father is a kind act. However, at the same time implying that holding onto resentment would be an unkind one.

Even though the reason Natsuo won’t forgive is because Toya is dead, and Enji never showed any apparent remorse for it, and didn’t try to fix anything. Even though one son died because of Enji’s training, and then Enji just decided to train the one remaining son he had left a thousand times harder. Natsuo is attempting to hold his father accountable for his actions, but Deku acts like blanket forgiveness would be the kind thing to do.

Even though Deku himself is willing to overlook all of Enji’s past abuse of Shoto, and his murder of Toya, but at the same time stresses how unforgivable Toya and Shigaraki are. 

Deku just saves people in a self destructive way. He breaks his bones to save others, thus mirroring Hawks who just saves people without genuinely thinking through who needs to be saved. They save people, because that’s the way they hurt themselves to prove how useful they are. However, neither of them actually goes through the trouble of thinking who genuinely needs saving, and that’s why they’re able to carry such a false double standard. Enji needs help because he’s trying to be better, whereas Toya’s not trying to be better. Ignoring the fact that you know, Enji tries to be better by just, forgetting everything he did in the past and sweeping his past actions under the rug, whereas Toya is still suffering from the scars of Enji’s abuse, permanently on his body. 

However, between Twice a person willing to die to protect his friends and act of complete selflessness, and Enji who can’t even bring himself to think that maybe he should try to save the son he let burn to death on a mountain peak which one do you think was trying to be better? Enji who spent ten years, even after Toya had already died to his training, training up Shoto instead even harsher. Enji who referred to Toya as “a failure” and “almost perfect” when talking to Shoto about his death. 

“I’m going to help anyone trying to be better” is just an arbitrary line that Hawks draws.

That’s even the critique that Twice levelled at Hawks. Hawks doesn’t care because he never actually tried to see the good sides of the other people, but Toga was someone who comfotred Twice and understood him. Toga was someone who made the league feel like home. Hawks labels Twice as the only good one, because he just didn’t bother to see what was good about the other villains. Yet, at the same time he strains himself to see the good in Endeavor, to the point where he constantly apologizes for Endeavor’s actions and sweeps them under the rug. Endeavor is a good man who is just misunderstood in Hawks’ eyes, who just went wrong somewhere, but Hawks can’t ever offer up the same sympathy to the worst victims of society. Who lash out and hurt other people in the same way that Endeavor did, except Endeavor’s is excusable and there’s isn’t because...??? 

 Hawks is in denial, because he refuses to look at the good sides of the villains. Twice didn’t choose to accept his offer of help, so obviously he didn’t want to be better, therefore Hawks is perfectly justified in putting him down. Notice though how Hawks mentioned prison time for Jin, but not for Enji (neglecting a child to the point where they burn to death is... still a crime). 

Hawks is still in denial about himself. He thinks he’s offering people a helping hand. However, from Jin’s perspective we see how manipulative he is. Hawks didn’t offer Jin a hand, he held him at gunpoint and told him to surrender and betray his friends. Hawks is just lying to himself, because he didn’t go out of his way to save Jin, he ruthlessly manipulated him, and then betrayed him. He’s not framed as a hero trying desperately to save a villain, but rather a friend betraying another friend who trusted him. Because, Hawks does not just sacrifice himself. He’s the extreme result of self sacrifice. Self sacrifice turns into self destruction. Self denial. Hawks sacrifices other people. He forces himself to dirty his hands, because he believes this is the only way he can be a hero. He’s too weak individually, so he has to manipulate, pull strings, and even kill in order to achieve the results he thinks will save the most people. However, by doing that he ignores the suffering of the victims right in front of them.

Not only that, but he ignores what contradicts his simple black and white narrative. Enji was trying to be better so he deserves help and support, Twice didn’t want to be better so Hawks revoked his offer of support away. 

He’s willing to give support to a man who abused his family for no good reason, and who continues to evade any consequences or legal punishment for his actions, but then insists that Jin who was pushed to his actions by poverty and not wanting to starve to death just did not want to be better. He’s like, so unaware of what the problem actually is with society, he can’t possibly think why Enji leaving his own son to burn to death might have left his son a bit miffed. Enji is just a person who made a few missteps along the way but genuinely wants to be good, Dabi is just a selfish person who doesn’t want to be better, so says Hawks. 

Nevermind how hard Toya tried to be a hero, and how he never gave up on earning his father’s love. Nevermind how hard Twice tried to be helpful to other, and how much he loved the people around him he was willing to sacrifice his life. Twice’s last action was to save his two closest friends. Enji’s actions are always just to beat up villains to prove how strong he is. Enji is never concerned with anyone. Hawks does want to save people, but he never thinks about the people who need to be saved.

Therefore, heroes are always good. Even when heroes do bad things, Hawks contrives some way to not hold them responsible for it ever. Well, Enji isn’t like that now. Well, we don’t need to announce that Enji was an abuser, because that will just upset the public. 

The actions of Enji are apologized for over and over again. Because rather than holding him accountable for his actions. Instead of pushing him to actually fix his mistakes, it’s better to keep sweeping the problem under the rug. Because, as is repeated again and again heroes don’t save people. When a hero fails to save someone, rather than trying to fix that mistake it’s easier to blame the person who didn’t get saved. 

Even if it was your own son that you left to burn to death. That is somehow miraculously alive.  That has given you a second chance to save the person you should have saved that day by just, showing up, and actually acting like a father for once. 

Enji will just choose his job over and over again. Because heroes don’t actually have a responsibility to save people. Being hero is just a job. Enji, Hawks, Jeanist they consider it a profession, not a responsibility. Which is why all three of them are willing to blame Dabi for his own actions, but not Endeavor for his. Which, just proves Dabi right. 

Heroes aren’t actually concerned with saving people. Heroes don’t think about who is most in need of saving, and who the real victims are. Heroes just protect their own. 

Enji, Hawks and Dabi are all murderers. They have all killed someone in pursuit of their goal. Not only did Enji murder a child by neglect, he also tried to kill Shigaraki several times over, and even tried to murder Pop Step in vigilantes. Hawks killed Twice in pursuit of a goal. 

However, Hawks and Enji need to be supported, whereas Toya needs to be stopped. Because they are heroes, and Dabi is a villain. But sure, watch Dabi continually burn his own body over and over again and push himself to the very limit so he can achieve a society where another hero will never get away with abusing his family like Enji did his, and say that he doesn’t want to be good. Watch Toya burn himself over and over again as a child just trying to be a hero because he thinks it’s the only way to earn his father’s love, because he genuinely looked up to his father and wanted to be just like him, and insist that Toya just stopped trying to be better, that he was just a jealous child, that he was never good. 

Jeanist isn’t a fully developed character so I’m not going to talk about him as much, but he represents the attitude that heroes “only pretend to save people” because they fuss ove image, rather than doing the actual work of helping victims.

The thing is someone who is genuinely trying to be better would listen to Dabi’s words, to Shigaraki’s words. However, Jeanist, Hawks, Enji all think of themselves as the hero, therefore they assume they are good and that their actions are good. 

Whenever someone contradicts this, they just flat out ignore any criticism. Heroes don’t save people. Heroes just protect their own image as heroes, because they assume that’s what is necessary for peace. Even now, Hawks and Jeanist aren’t focused on the innocent people suffering from the victim break outs, but rather taking down the man out to ruin their reputations. 

They pretend to see those they haven’t protected. Even when that person is Endeavor’s own son, his pain gets swept under the rug, because the image of Endeavor as a shining hero is far more important than the responsibility he has to help his own son, that’s in pain and need to saving. 

[bigstripeylie]

Ghosts theory- “sucked off” edition

Apologies for the title.

I have a theory about how each of the ghosts in Ghosts has a parallel with another Ghost and how this could be the key to them finally being able to move on, or “be sucked off’ as Mary would say.

Putting it behind a cut as this is extremely long and rambly. Spoilers for pretty much every episode of Ghosts

First of all I was listening to Mat and Jim on the Empire Spoilers podcast and Mat said something really interesting about how he intended “you stays how you dies” to refer to the ghost’s mental and emotional state, as well as physical. So Thomas always being obsessed with seeking love is because he died broken-hearted and Fanny always being so grumpy is because she died angry at her husband. 

I believe, therefore, that if the ghosts were able to overcome each of their emotional blocks that would be the thing that would allow them to move on. Furthermore, each of the ghosts has another ghost that seems perfectly suited to be able to assist them in that.

Let’s go through them:

Thomas- Thomas died believing his love never loved him back and now is forced to spend eternity seeking for love as a ghost. If Thomas was able to find someone who could reciprocate his affections, this would the resolve that issue. In the Series 2 episode “About Last Night” when Alison drunkenly tells Thomas “if you were alive and I was 200 years older, then we might have…” we hear a choir start singing and Thomas is pulled, as if compelled, through the wall, similar to how Fanny is pulled forwards towards the window to jump when she “doesn’t even realise [she’s] doing it.” Thomas desperately craves love and affection from another person, but in life was constantly rejected by the people he loved most. You know who else that sounds like? Kitty.

Kitty- Like Thomas, she is from a wealthy family who sheltered her a lot growing up, but is ultimately good and tries to be honourable. Kitty also craves love and affection as well as companionship and she tries to seek it, first in Eleanor and then in Alison (because Alison reminds her of  Eleanor, like how Alison reminds Thomas of Isabelle). However it comes up again and again that Kitty’s relationship with Alison isn’t as fulfilling to her as she would like it be because her being a ghost prevents her from sharing every activity with Alison, and Alison cannot show her physical affection. Kitty is trying to recreate aspects of her relationship with Eleanor using Alison as a substitute but this isn’t very healthy for her, as it simply traps her in the constant state of seeking affection that will not or cannot be returned fully. We don’t know the exact circumstances of Kitty’s death but after Series 3, if seems likely that her sister was in some way involved. Maybe what is keeping Kitty trapped as a ghost is her need for approval and love that she never got in life? But by seeking it in people who remind her of Eleanor exclusively, she is further trapping herself.

If Kitty and Thomas could find love with each other, they could each fulfil the other’s need for reciprocated affection. They are both equally needy so this quality wouldn’t likely annoy the other. Kitty seems to genuinely enjoy high romance in earnest and in finding an outlet for her love in Thomas, she could finally move on from her sister. Thomas would also find someone to love him and could devote himself completely to someone who would actually return his love, instead of fruitlessly pursuing women who remind of Isabelle’s rejection. This could lead to the resolution of both character’s finally moving on from their deaths.

Next up, let’s look at The Captain-

The Captain’s central conflict is obviously his sexuality. I believe that the resolution to this conflict would be him finally accepting and coming to terms with being gay and feeling comfortable with that part of his  identity. Which ghost could best help him in this?

Fanny. 

Maybe not the answer you were thinking, but hear me out. The Captain already has a strong positive relationship with Fanny built on mutual respect. He is more likely to value her opinion as an equal that any of the other ghosts and he seems to align himself with her on most issues. Which makes his choice to go against Fanny and defend the same-sex wedding and its guests to her in “Perfect Day” really remarkable.

In “Perfect Day”, Fanny expresses some pretty disapproving remarks about the wedding guest’s attire and some homophobic opinions about the same-sex wedding in general, which prompts the Captain to defend one of the guests to Fanny. “It’s chic, it’s now, and if it makes her feel fabulous…”

Imagine a scene where The Captain has to defend himself towards Fanny in a similar manner after coming out, showing that he is finally accepting of his sexuality as being the right thing for him. 

Anyway, that was a slight digression…

Fanny is still struggling to deal with the circumstances of her own death which was brought about in part because she caught her husband having an affair with other men. Fanny needs to accept and come to terms with the fact that her husband didn’t love her and that while he was obviously wrong for murdering her, she needs to move on so she can stop reenacting it by jumping out the window every morning. Because she died feeling angry and betrayed, she is trapped in that state in death. Discovering that one of her closest friends is gay and realising that it is possible for someone to be both gay and a good person might prompt her to think differently about her own life, as she started do with Humphrey in Perfect Day. 

The Captain, in turn, could be driven by Fanny’s ability to accept his sexuality into thinking ‘if she can accept that part of me, then maybe I can too.’ Personally, out of all the ghosts, I think it could only be Fanny who could prompt him to think that because it would mean the most to him coming from her.

Humphrey- Humphrey died because he was trying to protect Sophie, who rejected any attempt to get to know him and who he believed didn’t even like him. In death he is trapped in a state of being a selfless self-sacrificing people-pleaser and desperately wanting to be included in the other ghost’s activities, even allowing himself be kicked and thrown around if it means he can just be involved. In ‘I Love Lucy’ he even attempts to make a relationship with Fanny work, showing he is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of others.

Julian, by contrast, is the most selfish of all the ghosts at Button House. Deep down he feels guilty that his selfishness negatively affected the relationship with his daughter but seems not to be consciously aware that he feels like this. Julian’s selfishness to not spend time with his family ultimately leads to his death in Button House, as he neglected his family to spend more time at work and was clearly cheating on his wife, showing he is driven by selfish impulses.

If Julian were to perform a completely selfless act to the benefit of Humphrey, then Humphrey would get to feel as though someone was putting him first for once and valuing him the way he seeks to be valued. Julian would also break the pattern of selfish behaviour that caused his downfall.

The rest are little less well-defined:

Pat is the probably the ghost that we know the most about, through seeing his death and actually meeting his family in “Happy Death Day”, to the numerous anecdotes he reveals about his life throughout the show. However, I can’t decide for sure what is the thing that is keeping him a ghost. Pat himself seemed to think it was that he was missing his family, but this was ultimately proved wrong after he saw them again in ‘Happy Death Day’. Even meeting the boy who killed him and forgiving him in ‘Perfect Day’ didn’t cause him to move on. It could be something to do with Carol’s affair with Maurice but I just don’t know for sure. I like the idea of him fitting in with the plague ghosts. I think his personalty and leadership style would get along better with them than say, The Captain, who is too authoritarian. I also think Pat is someone who thrives in a group setting.

Robin and Mary are also tricky to work out what the thing keeping them as ghosts is because we know so little about their lives and deaths compared to the other characters. I think these are the only two ghosts who have not yet received a flashback to their lives. We know that Mary was in some way involved a witch-trail and this has traumatised her. Robin also has experienced a lot of trauma in his life but he seems to be more philosophical about it and accepting of it. He shows great empathy towards others both in trying to comfort Pat about his death in “Happy Death Day’ and Kitty in “About Last Night’, he could use his experience of trauma to help Mary deal with hers. They both seem to be looked down upon and ‘othered’ by the other ghosts due to their perceived lack of intelligence even though they are both very emotionally and socially intelligent.

If anyone has any thoughts about these last two pairings or any of the others, then please reblog and add your take!

I am not in any way saying that I think this is what will happen in the next series or what even I think should happen, but that this is one possibilities for much further down the road when the ghost are all ready to move on.

Also I have spent way too much time thinking about this…

[helpistolethesecharacters]

Love Conquers All

Part 2

Zuko x Male Reader

Word Count: 1643

-----------

The next morning Y/n followed Zuko back down to the kid's campsite. Y/n was half expecting them to have packed up and left, but he was happily proven wrong when they got down there.

The kids were sitting in a half circle, clearly waiting for the two of them to arrive. From the looks of things, they might actually be more open to talking to them today.

A look at the water tribe girl told Y/n that she still had a serious distrust for them that would be annoying to get past.

They approached the group. Y/n held back. He would be on guard for anything they might pull that could hurt Zuko.

"Um, so, you guys have something you want to say?"

Y/n guessed that if you couldn't count on the Avatar to break the ice then the world was doomed.

"Yes. I'm here because I know now that my destiny is to teach the Avatar firebending. I also wanted to say that I'm deeply sorry for all of my actions that have caused you pain or worry. I know that my apology doesn't fix everything, but I hope that it can help pave the way to better relations between us."

Y/n had missed this version of Zuko. He had been buried under so much pain and anguish, and had been desperately trying not to let anyone see it. It was good to have him acting more like himself again, but no amount of royal training was going to remove his awkward manner.

"Why should we believe anything you have to say? You've been chasing us around the world trying to capture Aang and kill us! We shouldn't even be sitting here listening to you!"

That girl was really sticking with her hard-done-by feelings. Y/n was going to have to keep a close eye on her around Zuko.

"Actually," the water tribe boy interjected, "I had a question about that."

He stared into the remains of their fire for a second before looking up at the still standing duo.

"Why didn't you just use your airbending to capture Aang? I mean, it looked like you were holding your own against Katara pretty well. When we first met you could have wiped the floor with us. So why?"

Y/n was surprised. The Water Tribe boy was more perceptive than he had given him credit for.

"It's a secret."

Bless Zuko for trying to take the question for him. Y/n sent a grateful smile his way.

"The Fire Lord has decreed that any airbenders are to be executed. If any are found, it's a death sentence."

Y/n looked around at the appalled faces of the kids. Finally it looked like they were starting to realise what they were involved in.

"How can you side with monsters like that?!"

Y/n turned furious eyes on the opinionated girl.

"I don't side with them! I side with Zuko."

"That isn't any better! So you're saying that if he decided to go back to the Fire Nation tomorrow you would just go with him?"

She was on her feet and flinging her words at him much the same way she had been with water the day before.

She turned back to her friends.

"This is why we can't trust them! I know you want to have someone else who's an airbender Aang, but he won't do the right thing if Zuko doesn't."

She spat Zuko's name like it was a bad word.

Aang turned big eyes on them.

"Would you really go back to them?"

"No."

"You just said----"

"I won't go back to them because Zuko won't. And I stand with him."

Y/n chanced a glance at Zuko only to find him already looking at him. He had that soft smile on his face that had been missing for years. Y/n was so glad that it was back. They reached for each other at the same time, fingers coming together and intertwining easily, familiarly.

There was a surprised intake of breath from the kids in front of them.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Was Y/n's eloquent response.

"Well, that doesn't make it okay to do the wrong thing when you know it's wrong."

She was still lecturing them, but the wind had clearly gone out of her sails.

Y/n managed to pull his eyes away from Zuko and look back at the group.

"We really are on your side this time."

Y/n stilled. The air had shifted in the way that it did when it was trying to warn him of something, becoming electrified. He spun around, scanning their surroundings, trying to locate the problem. He spotted the man up on the cliff just in time to bring his sword up and deflect the wave of energy that he sent at them.

Y/n growled. His timing had been off, resulting in his returned wave being sent off in a different direction.

"You all need to get out of here! If he keeps this up, the whole temple is going to come down."

"Y/n, if you can keep him busy, we can try to find a way to get rid of him!"

The Water Tribe boy was apparently their leader, was Y/n's distracted thought as he stood waiting for the man's next barrage.

If they got out of this alive he was going to smack Zuko upside the head for ever hiring the assassin.

That was probably something that the group of kids didn't need to know about, Y/n thought absently.

He was almost too focused on the long distance fight between the two of them to notice Zuko attempting to distract the assassin from where he stood nearly beside him. When had he gotten over there?

Something whizzed by Y/n's ear and he was so distracted by the thought of Zuko doing something so monumentally stupid as to antagonise the most ruthless assassin in the Fire Nation from a matter of feet away, that he didn't even sense it until he felt the air move by him.

He watched as the boomerang flew true and struck the assassin in the center of his third eye. He felt the world slow down as he saw the man draw in a breath for another wave of energy, but instead of it being sent to where they were standing, it exploded in his face and in the air all around him.

Y/n's heart stopped when the whole side of the temple crumbled and fell. Zuko had still been up there.

His sword fell with a clatter that was muted in his ringing ears. He was over by the side of the temple before he even thought about it, scrambling to find Zuko. If he was gone then that was it.

Y/n felt a thought settle in the front of my mind. He felt a sickening sinking feeling in his stomach, but there was no denying it.

He turned empty eyes on the group who were all celebrating their lucky escape. It was their fault.

He stood at the edge of the temple, watching them, feeling the wind caress him. It was whispering something to him, but he still couldn't hear anything over the adrenaline still coursing through his body.

He took a step toward them, reaching for his sword but coming up empty. His gaze narrowed in on it, lying on the floor back where he had been standing.

He was shaking, he realised as he tried to take another step but found himself on his knees instead.

The wind was growing around him as he fell forward onto his hands. He could feel himself falling apart, but he couldn't seem to pull himself back together. He had always had Zuko for that, but the stupid self-sacrificing idiot had gone and gotten himself blown off the side of the temple.

There was a groan from the ledge Y/n was nearest to. The wind died suddenly.

Y/n turned his tear streaked face sharply in it's direction.

He recognised that voice.

Then he was scrambling once again for the ledge, and grabbing hold of Zuko's arm and pulling with everything he had until he had his idiot firmly in his arms and far enough away from the edge.

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and held Zuko in his still shaking arms. Y/n hoped Zuko was comfortable because he was never letting him go again.

-----------

They had gathered around the fire that someone had restarted to sort out something for lunch.

Y/n had the feeling that his melt down hadn't gone unnoticed by at least one member of the group. When he had gone over to pick up his sword from where he had dropped it, the little blind girl had watched him with her unseeing eyes. He had just sheathed it and walked back over to Zuko's side, but she hadn't stopped watching him ever since.

Y/n was sitting by Zuko's side, too strung out from earlier to be properly on guard, but he was sure that since they had seen him in action they might be a little hesitant to attack so openly.

Once everyone had a bowl of food Sokka cleared his throat. He had an uncomfortable look on his face.

"So."

Y/n waited silently. This was Zuko's destiny, it was up to him to earn his place with the group.

"You know why we're here. Our reasons haven't changed. I think, it comes down to this. Can you trust us?"

"Look," Sokka started, "We don't fully trust you, but I think that's fair. I mean you chased us around the world, but we also saw what you did for us back there. You could have died trying to help. So we're willing to give you a chance. But just one."

Zuko's face lit up with his happiness. It was a sight that Y/n knew he would always enjoy.

"You won't regret this. I promise!"

[adifferenttime]

I love God (the video game character, not the deity) so much. As soon as you meet him, he basically lets you know he’s useless in combat, and if you say you don’t care - that his autonomy is more important to you than your own safety - he laughs in your face and tells you you don’t belong in the Villa, that you’re not cruel or greedy or selfish enough to deserve what’s going to happen to you.

And neither is he. One of the main reasons he spends so much time trying to wrest their body away from Dog is because he hates it when Dog hurts people. He describes himself as Dog’s conscience, and he ends up suffering so much pain and trauma, physically and emotionally, because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

[SUCCEEDED] {Starts weakening here, tired}I’ve watched over Dog for so long. Tried to stop him from… hurting others, killing others, {frustrated, angry} quiet that mindless, howling instinct of his.

All the sinister shit he says to you is very obvious posturing. He threatens to crush all your limbs if you put Dog back in control, but he never follows through, even if you disobey him, because he doesn’t mean any of it - he’s just scared you’ll take advantage of him if you don’t see him as a threat. God has been taught through years of experience that pain or threats of pain are the only reliable way to protect yourself and others. That commitment to the well-being of other people is part of what distinguishes him from characters like Dean, who are almost entirely self-interested and will only behave generously when it either benefits them or comes without an additional cost. God’s basic impulses are compassionate.

Compare these dialogues. The first is a response he gives when you first meet him and you claim you want to help.

No… even if you feel that way, it won’t last. You’ll forget, get greed-blind, and you’ll turn.

This is from the switching station, conditional on you being respectful of his liberty and humanity.

You’re right… but trust? Trust is such a… harsh word. I prefer… mutual need. It’s more honest.

…but when he no longer needs you and has the choice between sacrificing himself or letting you die, he tries to save you.

This is from the end, once you’ve built a solid relationship and refused to betray one another despite the many, many opportunities you’ve each had to do so.

{Narration} He began walking west, in search of others like him. As he did, he spoke of the courier who had set him free and allowed his life to begin again.

I made another post about this, but giving God the entire body isn’t a betrayal of the central moral (let go, begin again, blah blah blah). God isn’t in the Madre because he has any desire to be there or he’s pursuing some blood-feud with a dead guy to it’s inevitably tragic conclusion. Like you, he’s there by chance. Through no fault of his own, he got stuck, and the driving principle - the only thing he refuses to let go of - is his desire to be free from coercion, free from guilt, to go back out into the world and start living again. He’s prepared to sacrifice that chance on your behalf, and you can justify that trust by releasing him in turn.

Playing through DM with God is a story about two good people enduring horrors and growing to trust each other, even in an environment where compassion is penalized. It’s a microcosm of the whole apocalypse. Or just, you know, being alive.