#and trying to balance his new attitude while still making it clear he's a kid trying to be taken seriously is quite the challenge

[relicsongmel]

Kieran's personality shift in the Indigo Disk is really hammering home to me that his voice is just an edgier version of Simon Keyes and I don't know how to feel about that

[every-aj-needs-an-angel]

Thank you darling @i-less-than-three-you for tagging me

Its rules as follows:

1- generate 5 random words using this generator and then write something using those words!

2- tag 5 (or however many you want) mutuals to challenge!

(If you don’t like the five words you got, reroll them. This is meant to be a fun little challenge, not something to stress over. Have fun!)

My words: dandle, pillow, desex, motive, burble

(absolutely no pressure) tagging @mickalaem @estrellami-1 @mentallyundone @penny00dreadful @hbyrde36

Steve had had the worst day at work. He hated working shifts with Keith, he was a shithead. The migraine had started just after lunch and had got progressively worse the more Keith snarked and bitched at him, Steve had only held his tongue because he needed his job.

His parents had sold the McMansion to the insurance company for whatever they could get for it, essentially making him homeless for a while. The Party had been amazing, of course, but Steve had hated every second in every spare room.

Wayne had insisted he just move in with them, but his and Eddie's relationship had still been new and tentative. The Buckley's offered him the space over their garage, but Robin hadn't been ready to tell them she was a lesbian; so there’d been a list of rules attached to the offer that would just make all of them feel uncomfortable.

In the end, he'd sofa surfed for a year, but it was a year in which everything turned around for all of them.

He and Eddie were fully stupidly deeply in love, Robin was out to her parents and her and Nancy were something, Joyce and Hopper had got married, Max was walking again, and the kids were settled in school. If it weren't for Keith and his terrible attitude, life would be pretty close to perfect.

It probably hadn't been a smart move to drive with his vision blurred and his head pounding, but he had just needed to get home. Their apartment wasn't much, just a tiny one bedroom downtown, but being able to wake up in Eddie's arms every morning meant that it was all the home he'd ever need.

Even trying to get the key in the front door felt like a monstrous task when just about every part of him ached, but he managed it, just about. Eddie met him in the hall, a furrow in his brow, holding a spatula and wearing his Kiss The Cook apron. 

The smell of warm spices immediately made his stomach turn, an involuntary whimper escaping him as Eddie stepped softly toward him. "C'mon, love," he cooed barely above a whisper, urging Steve forward, so he could click the front door shut behind him.

Kneeling down to help Steve out of his shoes, Eddie rested Steve's hands onto his shoulders, so he could keep his balance enough to be barefoot, before he clambered to his feet and took Steve’s hands in his own, and very gently, urged him down the corridor into the bathroom. 

Eddie sat him down on the closed toilet lid, grabbed a flannel from the medicine cabinet and wet it under the hot tap, ringing it out and placing it gently over Steve's closed eyes. The relief was minute but immediate, and Steve sucked in a shuddering breath as Eddie turned to start the bath, pouring in the eucalyptus bath salts he knew Steve loved. The next thing he knew Eddie was pressing painkillers against his tongue and a glass of water into his palm, taking the glass away when Steve was finished with it.

The steam was working wonders at clearing the pressure in his sinuses, and the gentle heat against his eyes was turning the sharp, stabbing pain into a dull throb when Eddie slipped out of the bathroom with a whispered, "Be right back."

What immediately followed was something crashing to the ground in the kitchen, along with Eddie’s quietly exclaimed "Shit!" and even though it hurt to move the muscles in his face, Steve couldn't help but smile to himself. Eddie wasn't the clumsiest person he'd ever met, but he knew that the more Eddie tried to be nimble and quiet, the more uncoordinated he became. But the fact that he was trying so hard to be calm and quiet because he knew Steve was in pain just reminded him what an incredible guy his boyfriend was.

Eddie tiptoed back into the bathroom with whispered apologies, turning off the water and unbuttoning the buttons on Steve's polo with efficient fingers, easing Steve out of his uniform. Mumbling assurances as he helped him into the tub, pressing the softest of kisses to the tip of his nose once he was settled in the water. And when Steve whimpered, "Stay?" grabbing blindly for his arm, Eddie huffed a soft chuckle, and whispered, "Not going anywhere, sweetheart."

Eddie ditched his clothes and clambered in behind Steve, manoeuvring them, so Steve's head was laid against his chest. And with his hands resting on Eddie’s knobbly knees, Steve could focus on relaxing each part of his body, secure in the knowledge that when he was finished he'd be able to drift off with Eddie there to keep him safe.

Steve didn’t know how long he'd stayed floating in the tub, but by the time he recognised consciousness again, the once warm water had gone horribly cold. When he removed the wash cloth from his face and finally opened his eyes, the light coming in around the blind from the streetlamp outside didn’t hurt quite so much either.

"Hi there," Eddie murmured, rubbing gentle circles into his shoulder, working out a knot in his muscle.

Steve sighed heavily with how nice it felt, but as the cool water reached parts of his skin that hadn’t previously been wet, he shuddered.

"C’mon, you," Eddie urged as he helped Steve to sit up, clambering out of the water and quickly pulling the plug. Eddie threw a towel around his own waist before bending down to scoop Steve out of the empty bathtub, carrying him the few steps to their bedroom and laying him on a towel that was already waiting on their bed.

All the lights were off, but luckily for both of them, they lived in an apartment that never truly got dark, not like the McMansion had. Even at night, there was always the soft glow of the streetlamps poking around the window dressings. It wasn’t really enough to see by, but it was enough that it wasn’t pitch black when you awoke in the night; shapes were visible but not the imaginary kind he’d spent his childhood fighting.

Steve rolled over onto his front, snuggling into the line dried towel underneath him, just as Eddie draped a radiator warmed towel over his back. He spent a few minutes pottering around the bedroom, drying himself off and dressing in his sweats before joining Steve on the bed, tugging the towel on his back up enough to start gently drying his hair.

Once his hair was only damp, Eddie moved from rubbing the towel through the strands to kneading soothing circles into his neck, making his way down to start working on the knot he'd been rubbing in the bath.

Sighing heavily and half drifting back into that heavy sleepy place as Eddie helped him relax, Steve mumbled, "Hmm, feels nice," as Eddie soothed a particularly tender spot at the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

Steve purposefully opened his eyes, not wanting to fall back asleep yet, he couldn't see anything other than his silhouette, but Steve just liked to look at him sometimes, just to know he was there and real and alive. Eddie shifted and Steve watched his movements as he got up off the bed and flicked on the bedside lamp, immediately flicking it back off when Steve hissed with pain at the sudden light.

"Sorry," Eddie whispered.

"S'alright, turn it back on, I'll shut my eyes," he mumbled, pressing his face into the pillow.

Eddie didn't answer, but Steve could hear his footfall against the carpet, the clink of the lighter and the dull thunk of the candle being placed back on the bedside. The warmth of the flame on his face felt nice as Eddie wandered out of the bedroom and a few seconds later padded back in.

Clambering up on the bed, Eddie crawled over to him and settled lightly over his hips. He tugged the towel down to expose his shoulders, popped a bottle lid and then sat very still for a second, before leaning forward and rubbing what Steve recognised as warmed baby oil down his neck and across his shoulder blades, before pressing his fingers tenderly into his muscles.

They had both given each other massages before, so it wasn't surprising that Eddie was amazing at it, using just the right amount of pressure to get the knots out without being too heavy-handed. What was surprising was that Eddie was fully clothed. After they'd started dating, massages had become a thing they did naked, not to make it sexual, although sometimes it did go that way but usually it was just nice to lay together afterwards without unnecessary fabric ruining the intimacy.

The sleeves of Eddie's hoodie kept sliding down his arms as he worked, and after the fourth time, Eddie tutted as he bunched the sleeves back up his arm.

"Just take it off," Steve mumbled, he felt bad that he was so relaxed when he could feel Eddie getting stressed.

"S'fine," Eddie muttered, pulling the towel down a little further and working on the muscles just below his shoulder blades.

Except he didn't get much further before it happened again, Eddie muttering curses under his breath as he tugged at his sleeves.

"Baby. Just take it off," Steve insisted softly.

"No!" Eddie groused a bit too loudly, mumbling apologies when Steve involuntarily flinched.

Eddie huffed and popped the lid on the baby oil again, but Steve turned to hold his wrist, stopping him from pouring more liquid onto his hands, "What's going on?" he asked quietly.

Huffing, Eddie rolled his eyes dramatically, looking anywhere but at Steve, "You're hurting. I didn't want you to think…" he trailed off. Steve waited patiently for an answer because whenever he was hurting like this he didn't have the brain capacity to decipher an Eddie-ism. When Steve could only raise his eyebrows in question, Eddie huffed again, "I didn't want you to think I had… ulterior motives," Eddie whined.

The corners of Steve's mouth pulled up without his permission, his boyfriend really was the cutest man in the whole world, "So you're driving yourself crazy in your sweats to… desex a massage?" Steve clarified, trying desperately not to laugh because that had to be the sweetest but stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

"Yeah," Eddie mewled pouting, but as he glanced at Steve, his mouth quirked up at the corners, letting him know that Eddie was starting to see how absurd it sounded.

"Babe. Seriously, take off the damn sweats," Steve reiterated.

"But," Eddie interrupted.

Steve groaned exasperatedly, "Fine. I, Steve Harrington, hereby recognise that you, Edward Adorable-Pants Munson, are in fact attempting to ease my suffering and not trying to sex me up," Steve declared.

The both of them just stared at one another for a second before Eddie broke, snorting a loud snigger and sending them both into hysterics, Eddie nearly coating both of them in the bottle of baby oil as his shoulders shook uncontrollably. 

Steve was the first to sober, but he was more than happy just to watch Eddie's features dance in the candlelight, especially as he calmed, watching Steve watching him. Sighing contentedly, Steve finally released Eddie's wrist, "Now, please, angel, for the love of all that is holy!" he pleaded, flopping down onto the pillow and feeling more than seeing Eddie climb back off the bed.

Sucking in a deep breath, Steve relaxed down into the mattress. It was only as the rich cinnamon scent coming from the candle settled over his senses that it occurred to him that it was what had turned his stomach when he'd walked through the front door. The thought made him cast his mind back to the minute he'd got home, quickly realising that the hallway hadn't been lit by the harsh overhead lighting they still hadn’t had time to change, but Eddie had in fact been bathed in warm candlelight.

Eddie perching back over him was enough to snap his attention back to the present, and Steve was glad to feel how much more relaxed Eddie was as he settled a grounding weight back onto Steve's thighs. Steve sighed contently and felt himself melt into the pillow under his head as Eddie warmed more oil and continued his ministrations; every inch of his back worshipped by the remarkable man he was lucky enough to spend his life with.

Promising himself to do something solely for Eddie tomorrow brought back the vision he’d come home to, he wondered what Eddie had been cooking. Usually, they cooked together when Steve got home from work, mainly because Eddie tended to get stressed with trying to get the timings of a meal to match up, but it had sort’ve become their routine since Eddie’s rehabilitation.

It had started as a way to get Eddie to stop moping on the couch, and then he’d actually found he enjoyed the rhythm and repetitiveness of peeling and chopping vegetables. It also helped when Steve had found an old book of recipes in his attic that had clearly belonged to a relative once upon a time. There were a fair few that worked well as an evening meal for them and breakfast for Wayne, and Steve had learned early in their burgeoning relationship that the easiest way to get Eddie to do anything was to slyly suggest that the activity would in some way help his uncle.

Unfortunately for Eddie, Steve wasn’t above using a tactic if it worked in his favour, and spending his evenings amidst the steam of pots and pans, and the scent of the herbs he’d grown in their window box with Eddie humming and chopping at his elbow was something Steve spent his monotonous days at work very much looking forward to. 

So even Steve’s slightly mushy and mangled brain could fathom that something had been going on before he’d arrived home a mess, and thought maybe he should ask Eddie about it.

"What’s that, sweetheart?" Eddie asked.

Steve asked again if Eddie had had something special planned for their evening.

As he spoke Eddie leaned down over his back, so their heads were closer together, but when he'd asked Eddie just chuckled a hot breath over the back of his neck. "You’re burbling, sunshine, I’ve no idea what you’re trying to say. Just go back to sleep, love. You’re okay, I’ve got you."

Except, Steve wasn’t asleep, although as he lifted his face out of the pillow to ask again and felt the drool down his chin, he realised perhaps he had nodded off at some point. "I asked if you had cooked?" he murmured blearily.

Eddie just shrugged, "Oh. Yeah, I did, but it doesn't matter," he muttered as he rubbed his hands up Steve's spine, gently forcing his head back onto the pillow.

"Something special planned?" Steve asked as casually as he could. 

When he and Eddie had first become a thing, he'd promised himself that he'd be gentle with his own heart for a change, that he wouldn't rush in and get ahead of himself with this relationship. And he was doing a great job too until Robin had offhandedly mentioned something about Eddie proposing the last time they'd been forced into watching some dorky romcom during their "grown-ups" movie night.

Steve hadn't really been able to think about anything else since, because surely that was the next logical step for them, but after the "bullshit" disaster he'd been a bit gunshy. He hadn't initiated any of their firsts, which had nearly killed him because it took Eddie three whole weeks to get around to kissing him for the first time. But he'd been desperately trying to let Eddie lead and just blindly follow in the hope that it wouldn't blow up in his face.

Eddie shuffled around a bit, getting distracted from dandling and switching to drawing intricate patterns into his skin, "Er. Well. Y’know, it’s been two months, so I just thought…" he trailed off, shrugging nonchalantly.

Steve propped himself up off the pillow, folding his forearms under his chest, so he could look at Eddie properly, "We’ve lived here two months?" he asked, surprised.

He was shocked it'd been so long, it felt like forever and barely any time at all, but it always seemed to feel like that with Eddie. He'd been completely taken aback months ago when Robin had conversationally asked him what they'd had planned for their first anniversary. He'd had no idea they'd even been coming up to a year together, he'd been left stunned, wondering simultaneously how on earth they’d made it a whole trip around the sun and how he’d ever managed to live a life without Eddie by his side.

When Eddie only nodded in response watching his fingers doodle on Steve's skin, purposefully looking anywhere but at him, he reached around and grabbed Eddie's wrist pulling it gently to him, so he could kiss the back of his hand, "I ever tell you you're the best thing to ever happen to me?" he asked, fully enjoying the bashful smile that nearly split Eddie's face in two.

"You mighta mentioned it once or twice," Eddie quipped, looking up at him through his lashes.

"Mhmpt," Steve grumbled with faux annoyance, the smile on his face giving away his amusement. He still attempted to keep up the bit, though, letting go of Eddie’s hand and flopping dramatically back down against the bed. 

Sighing contently, Eddie climbed off his back and came to lay beside him. Steve peeked an eye open to see Eddie watching him fondly, and try as he might, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. "I love you," he mumbled, wriggling closer to Eddie, so he could snuggle into his chest.

"Love you too," Eddie murmured, wrapping Steve in his arms and pressing a soft kiss into his hair, "Are you hungry?"

Steve thought about it for a second, "Hmm, no, not really. You?"

"Thank god for that! I was so worried I was gonna hafta move!" Eddie muttered tiredly, "Can we just stay here forever?"

Steve hummed an affirmative, "Sounds good to me," he breathed, snuggling closer, wrapping his arm tight around Eddie’s waist kissing the scar on his chest where his nipple had once been, making Eddie giggle.

He sighed serenely, safe in the knowledge that no matter how terrible his day had been, so long as he always had Eddie to come home to, his days would always end in the best way.

[lime-parfait]

Paranatural Parents: A Quick Analysis (Spoilers)

Please blacklist #long post for this because a “read more” will be unavailable if this blog were to be deleted in the future and it won’t be accessible.

Also no beta on this analysis

Anyways, been awhile since reading Paranatural seriously (ever since the story’s style changed to a text format it was harder to focus and read it). Anyways, there’s something that ‘clicked’ for me when reading some the recent pages. And it was simply that Paranatural is full of incompetent adults (no brainer). But specifically, it was full of incompetent PARENTS. Especially the ones who are involved in the whole world of spirits.

Okay, okay. Think about it. Isabel’s attitudes towards her family. The way that her grandfather finds ways to constantly point out her flaws and teaches her to use spirits as weapons. Isabel’s father, who we recently learned about, DOES want to care about his daughter, still chooses to be involved in the realm of spirits because he believes that Cherub’s words will help to make balance in the world. And yet, Isabel still doesn’t want to be around her father (based off the attitudes she has and it took a lot of strength for her to even ask her mom to drop her off). Isabel has something important to tell her father, but she reacts negatively when he doesn’t take her seriously. In a nutshell, Isabel has 2 guardian figures in her life who do not listen to her. Her grandfather wants her to be a disciplined warrior at the age of 12, while her father doesn’t seem to do his part in making communication between them easier.

Cody, his father was also involved in the Consortium. That man is a business man now and all he does is try to take property away from people. Back in the long (Jim the Brain)chapter, Cody is super hostile towards his father, who’s about to kill a spirit (because that’s what his father did back in the Consortium; stab spirits). Cody becomes cold and harsh, saying that the spirit was HIS to kill. Like, Cody took a deadly turn and it makes for a theory that his father taught him to be a cold-blooded killer towards spirits. But in the evidence, it’s vague why Cody feels this way towards spirits (we only got Davy saying that even though he wants to protect those he loves, Davy pulls out the ‘dad will take care of it’ card). Cody yells at him after that, forcing him to leave the school (due to vampire rules). It ‘s clear that Cody doesn’t his father to be on his turf  and that he can hold his ground at school (remember, he’s school president). But Davy and Cody have a family tension the involves in protecting what they care about from the ‘evil spirits.’ However, Davy probably failed really bad as a parent if Cody gave him death glares and yelled at him.

EDIT: another thing to consider is that Davy sees his son as a reflection of him (literally) and gets really pissed when Max counters his statement by saying that Cody isnt his mirror. clearly Davy cannot see his son as a son, but some sort of copycat that needs to follow in his footsteps.

Rick Spender (as an adult) is literally the worst at being a reliable person for the Spirit Activity Club, theres records of the way he failed to be there for most of the members. Failing to reassure and listen to Isabel and purposefully keeps isaac in the dark that sparked these two to fight each other because they were both hurting

Ed’s parents who were clearly part of the Consortium and they eventually met their doom WHEN Ed was BARELY 3 YEARS OLD. Ed’s parents weren’t there long enough to actually raise him and see him grow up. Like, they decided that it was okay to pass their kid off to a new guardian in the most nightmare fueled moments before they disappeared. They didn’t try to leave him have a happy memory, but planned to just erase themsleves from his memories??

There’s plenty of other parents who also failed to be decent parents in the story (they weren’t part of Consortium, but they existed and basically don’t look after their kids. Penny and her parents’ treatment towards her and the way they favored her brother. Where the hell is Isaac’s parents). But it seems that a lot of the adults who are deeply involved in the spirit’s world, often tend to overlook their own children. Most of them claim to want to protect their kids from it, only pushing them away and the kid feeling neglected. But in the end, working in the Consortium makes these parents see their own children as an after thought because they’re buried in this this work, only dragging their kids in the mess.

And let’s look at Max Puckett. His mother was part of the Spectrals and possibly in the Consortium. She must have seen this sort of cycle. All of these parents who had spectral kids and planned out their futures to live that sort of life. Isabel’s family planning for her to be a warrior. Ed’s parents accepting their doomsday fate as workers of the Consortium. Max’s mom looked at all of this and didn’t want that. She would not repeat this mistake as other parents of the Consortium. And you know what? She married Peter Puckett, a man who wasn’t a spectral, or a vampire, or a wealthy man. But here’s the thing that Peter Puckett had that every other parent lacked; emotionally availability and unconditional love and care.

Like, Dad Puckett didn’t give up on his kids when his wife died. He picked himself up and did everything to raise them. He accepts that Max is Max, a moody preteen. He gets into the same interest as he does (Insolent Children music) and get involved in his life. Yes, he seems like a manchild at first glance because of his happy attitude and not being that smart. But he can be serious about serious topics when needed. He takes both of his kid to a kids’ arcade in order to let them have fun and be able to ask if Max was being bullied in school. He doesn’t make it a joke either, Peter Puckett is direct and wants to make sure that Max wasn’t being bullied in school. Hell, Dad Puckett took Max to the hospital for a broken arm and everything and you see that his face was full of concern for Max’s well-being. He literally makes time just for his kids no matter what it is. Going to a concert? Yes. Going to the hospital and rushing to get there? Peter will not hesitate. Like, Dad Puckett found the strength to continuing being there for his kids after his wife died. He moved to a new town to begin a new life, he takes their physical and emotional health seriously, he is involved in their interests and he listens to his kids, he doesn’t put pressure on his kids’ futures, all he wants is for them to be happy and safe. No matter what bad happens, Dad Puckett will always make himself emotionally available for his kids.

EDIT: another thing that was interesting during a re-read was that Peter said that Max took after his mom in personality and humor, and honestly that checks out based on what we know about her. This contrasts to Davy treating his son as a mirror, but in reality, Cody is nothing like him. Basically saying that Mr. Puckett understands his son better than Davy assumes what Cody is.

Meanwhile, all of the parents of the Consortium are fighting against a doomsday and not actually thinking about what their kids need most is to be there for them.

To Mom Puckett: you chose the best husband who was more prepared to care about his children

[epithet-beloved]

Hello, me again!!

I was just busy doing homework when I started thinking about epithet characters (who am I kidding, I think about them all the time LMAO). And then Sheriff Gorou just popped up in my head and then WOAH BIG BRAIN MOMENT!! What if he was friends with a prisoner reader? They can eat donuts and drink pinecones together :)

Hope you all have a great day/evening!!

-Ryan

HANGING OUT

synopsis… hanging out with sheriff gorou

ft. sheriff gorou

tags… platonic, fluff, nothing much happens you just hang out

word count… 662

a/n… I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR A LITTLE BIT. BEEN INCREDIBLY BUSY WITH ASSIGNMENTS BUT IPAD IS OUT OF BATTERY RIGHT NOW SO I'M WRITING THIS WHILE IT RECHARGES. ENJOY THE GOOFY ✧ 🦇

“So, how do you drink these?”

“I don’t know! But it’s the only drink we have here in Redwood Run!”

“... And the well?”

“Oh! It’s completely dry!”

Sheriff Gorou’s hearty laugh echoed in the small cabin he had made his headquarters in the city in the middle of the woods. You stood behind some not-very-sturdy metal bars with a pinecone in your hands, a straw had been jammed in the thing. Gorou had brought it for you from the tavern when you had asked him to bring you a drink to share. He had a pinecone of his own, and he was unsuccessfully trying to try from the straw stuck in it.

You watched him with an amused smile from your spot in the cabin, jumping slightly when he handed you a donut from the box that rested on his desk.

“Here!” He stated with an enthusiastic tone, “Can’t have a drink without a snack!” He smiled at you, and you couldn’t help but let out a small, amused giggle as you took the sweet treat from his hands, “Why thank you.”

Somehow, Gorou managed to have a box of fresh donuts on his desk every morning. You weren’t quite sure where they came from, as the old man from the tavern didn’t seem like someone who’d take interest in baking, and Redwood Run didn’t quite have a bakery. You wondered if he had lied to you about his epithet (that, of course, he had told you about straight away), and it was actually “Donut” instead of “Bluster”, and it let him have a fresh box of the things every morning. They were incredibly tasty and somehow still a bit warm- but this wasn’t surprising, despite being in the middle of the woods, the clearing Redwood Run found itself in was often subject to the light of the high sun, making everything in the small city and its houses warm. It was like the city was stuck at the high noon of a western movie.

And if that was the aesthetic it was going for, Sheriff Gorou stuck out like a sore thumb, with his bright ginger hair and beard, the latter adorned with all sorts of sprinkles, and his happy go lucky attitude; everyone in the city was a criminal, after all! Even you! Why do you think you were hanging out in the sheriff’s cabin, behind the bars of the only cell in the entire town? He didn’t even catch you himself- you turned yourself in! You just felt a little bad that he never seemed to be able to do his job right.

But life in that single cell ended up not being so bad.

Gorou was a nice guy to be around, and you never got bored hearing his repeated stories or watching him gift guns to whoever stepped inside the cabin, even if they did so by accident.

“That guy over there seems new,” You commented after taking a bite of your donut and gesturing to someone outside with a nod. Gorou turned in the direction you pointed to, and he noticed a Banzai Blaster that seemed to be quite lost.

“He does!” He commented,

“Do you think I should go give him a gun? As a welcome gift?”

“Nah, I wanna see how long he goes without one. Also, he didn’t come in here.”

“Hmm… You’re right!”

Gorou shrugged and smiled as he leaned back in his chair, trying to prop his feet up on the desk, but failing and almost falling backwards. You couldn’t help but snicker as he regained his balance and composure, his cheeks red from embarrassment for almost falling like that in front of you.

“Aw, come on,” You cooed with a smile “You’ll be able to do it someday. I believe in ya, sheriff.”

Gorou gained his big smile again, his round cheeks peeking from under his beard.

“Why thank ya! You’re the nicest inmate I’ve ever had! And the only one!”

[shootingstarwritings]

Couples Therapy

Marcus glanced at his client before going back to his notes. As usual, it was a young woman who looked as though she was on the verge of tears after giving him a mile-long list of grievances towards her husband. For the first few years, everything was like an eternal honeymoon until the two began to drive the other crazy. From the little info Marcus had, the blame seemed to rest on two personalities that didn't feel like compromising—as it usually was.

However, compromises didn’t put food on Marcus’ table, so it was in his best interest to pin the blame all on the husband. “Like my services advertise,” he told the wife, Julia, while sliding a sheet of his talents over to her, “I can fix your marriage to be as blissful as it was on your wedding night. All I need is your consent and I can shape your lover as you need him to be.”

The tears soon dried up. "Um, huh…?" Julia grew sheepish as her eyes skimmed over the sheet. Not good. "Shape him? My friend said your type of work was unique, but changing my husband…? I didn't hear anything about that."

Tilting his head, Marcus said, "Did you not notice how your friend's partner changed? He was happier, more agreeable, and far more pleasant overall. Always carried a strong conversation and had the manners of a perfect gentleman. Don't you want the same for your husband?"

“I-I thought you just gave them counseling!” Julia stood up from her chair, hands clasping her purse as though Marcus was a violent, money-hungry criminal. “This is crazy. A-And, honestly absurd. I'll have no part in this lunacy!"

“So you’re okay with your husband’s divorce?”

Julia stopped just before her hand reached the door. Though she didn't turn around, she said, "What do you mean?" Her voice was tinged with fear despite her attempts to hide it.

“When you made your appointment, I did a little digging on your husband,” said Marcus, lying as naturally as he breathed. “Digging into his soul, of course. My abilities allow me to do so.”

He stood up and strode over to Julia. “He’s growing increasingly dissatisfied with your union. Every little action, every little word, every little annoyance from you pushes him more and more towards the arms of another.” While Marcus remained stone-faced, he was smirking inside as beads of sweat cascaded down Julia’s brow. 

Perfect.

“A young woman your age already divorced? What will the neighbors think? Your friends? Your family? But,” he shrugged and made his way back to his desk, “if you insist that you don’t need my services, I can do nothing about that. I sincerely wish the two of you a happy marriage. However long it lasts.”

Julia excused herself to go to the bank but promised she would return with the payment.

Marcus’ target was a man by the name of Trevor. Attractive, admirable, and breakable. All it would require was a few weeks in his body and Marcus’ job would be finished. Julia had signed the contract, so his body was completely available.

That was the limit to Marcus’ powers. Without some sort of consent from one who at the very least shared the name or a bond with his target, he was unable to do anything. Now, all Marcus had to do was take over Trevor’s body.

But first, Marcus was curious about what was going to happen in their ordinary lives. While Julia had given him a whole list of things that she wished Trevor would do, Marcus skimmed it before throwing it away. For the most part, his clients didn't know what they wanted—and what they did was something ridiculous like 'makes me breakfast in bed every single day.' It was all nonsense straight out of a soap opera. Marcus preferred to just take a look at what pissed his client off and doing a few favors here and there. The only part of Julia's list that Marcus even remotely paid attention to was, "Being more open to pegging."

Other than that, Marcus would just sit by and watch how a typical morning went for the couple. He made his way to the address Julia had provided him during their meeting in an astral form and peeked into their lives.

“God, another spill, Jules?” Trevor groaned as he looked down at his stained pants. “C'mon." While Julia let out a stream of apologies, Trevor just rolled his eyes and said, "I'm trying to get a goddamn promotion here!"

“I-I’m trying…!” Julia said, backing up as Trevor grabbed the empty mug and smashed it on the ground. “Th-That was mine...”

“And so’s the mess,” Trevor shot back. “When you’re the breadwinner in this relationship, you can decide what does and doesn’t get broken.” With that, Trevor left to get changed while Julia cleaned up the kitchen.

That was all Marcus needed to see. The bastard needed a major attitude adjustment. His wife was a complete klutz, but there was no need to bite her head off for making a mistake. Marcus didn't feel any particular sympathy for Julia, but assholes like Trevor pissed him off to no extent. "Only natural," Marcus said to himself. "Assholes hate assholes. Don't like pricks like him on my turf."

Floating over to Trevor and Julia’s room, he admired the assets he would borrow for the next few days. Trevor’s pants were off, allowing Marcus to get a nice glimpse of the package he would be showing off for the next few days. Along with that were nice, juice thighs and a good chest peeking out of the nice polo shirt he wore. No longer able to resist, Marcus just dove towards Trevor.

"HNNG! What the fuuuuck?!" Trevor moaned as Marcus phased through his back. Entire body tensing up, Trevor stood in place, his back arching while his head was thrown back. Feet planted to the floor, he moaned in pleasure and panic. "Wh-Who the hell?! What the—HAA! Ahhh…! What the fuck are youuuu?!" Unable to keep his balance amidst the barrage of pain and pleasure mixing, Trevor collapsed onto his bed, convulsing uncontrollably as the foreign intruder wore him like a suit.

“Mmm,” Marcus moaned, rubbing his hard-on against the mattress. “Oh, that’s niiice. Thanks, Julia.” Still face-down on the bed, he spread his legs and let his hands wander towards a certain untouched hole. “Don’t worry, I’ll turn your hubby into the subbiest bottom in town.”

Purposefully ignoring Julia, Marcus left the house and headed towards Trevor’s place of work, relying on muscle memory and the information Julia had given him for navigation. Eventually, he arrived at some fancy insurance firm full of suits who looked like they could use a healthy dose of Viagra.

Once more, Marcus relied on Trevor's muscle memory to guide his way through work. And once settled into Trevor's impersonal cubicle, Marcus began his work. At once, he worked on smiling more in Trevor's body. Man was a creature of habit and the human mind was a sponge for information and mannerisms. Because of that, Marcus would adopt certain behaviors for the week or so he would be in his hosts' bodies. The end result was a spouse that would compliment their partner far more.

On all levels, it was wrong. However, Marcus continued without losing a wink of sleep.

After making sure Trevor was smiling more, Marcus also stretched and relaxed his muscle. "God, you're so tense," he mentioned as he rolled his shoulders back. "Or, I'm so tense." Grinning, Marcus continued chatting to himself. It was always fun getting into a role. Perhaps it was his theater kid days, but adopting a new identity was always fun. "I should get more into yoga," he said, stretching as much as he could in that uncomfortable suit. "Do some squats. It'll help me make my ass all nice and firm. Flexibility'll be nice in the bedroom for Jules," he proclaimed, repeating it to himself to make sure it remained imprinted to Trevor.

To make sure those thoughts remained in Trevor's head, Marcus headed off to the gym after each workday. He worked until Trevor's already well-developed muscles were pleasurably sore by the time he arrived back home. "Keep acting as though I'm Trevor," Marcus had texted Julia before. "It'll make it easier for these thoughts to stick to your husband." His words didn't ease Julia's awkwardness, but Marcus didn't mind. Working with pathetic actors wasn't anything new for him.

By the final day of Marcus' planned stay, Trevor's boss called him into his office. "You're not in trouble," his boss, a man by the name of Arthur said. "Just wanted to catch up with you, is all." His words were even, but Marcus noticed that his gaze was not. Arthur's eyes kept traveling and his fingertips kept grazing Trevor as much as they could while retaining that facade of professionalism. "I've noticed your recent change in attitude. Rumors travel quickly throughout the office."

“When there’s not much to talk about,” Marcus began, “it’s easy to become the talk of the town.”

Arthur cocked an eyebrow. “Your attitude and your tongue’s changed, Trey. I'm surprised but pleased. Productivity for the whole office has gone up this week. And your more positive attitude has really helped with that. I've noticed the environment in general is a lot less toxic."

“Sorry about that, sir,” Marcus said with a curt nod. Yet, he made sure to keep a cocky, inviting smirk on his face. The blood was rushing to Arthur’s cheeks despite his stony expression. “Hadn’t realized how much my attitude had an impact on the office. But I’m sure you’ll be just as satisfied as my wife about the new me.” By now, Marcus was happily rubbing his thighs, making sure they stood out alongside his bulge in those tight slacks he had purchased for Trevor. During the week, he had made a habit of dropping his things and bending over to reach for them in front of his various coworkers. If his eyes didn’t deceive him, he was certain about the office spent more than half a second staring at Trevor’s assets.

Arthur cleared his throat. “Yes, well. Nonetheless, just wanted to show my appreciation for this sudden turn. Always happy to see my workers in a relaxed, pleasant environment.”

Standing up, Marcus leaned in close to Arthur’s lips. “I can think of a few other ways you can show your appreciation, boss,” he whispered, unbuckling his belt. This same scenario had played out so many times Marcus was certain his gaydar was impeccable. “Why don’t you bend me over your desk and show me who the boss is?”

Arthur hesitated for about a second before locking the office door and tying Trevor’s mouth shut with his own tie. “Take! This! You! Slut!” Arthur roared as he pounded Trevor’s ass raw. Marcus, back arched, face pressed up against the cold desk, just moaned like a slut. He eagerly met each of Arthur’s thrust with his strong workout for his hips.

This is my favor for you, Julia, he thought as Arthur pulled on his hair. Your husband’s hole might not be as tight as you want it to be, but he’ll definitely be up for stuff up his ass by the time I leave.

"Make me your bottom bitch," Marcus begged, trapped in a nirvana of pleasure and pain.

The next time Marcus saw Julia and Trevor the two of them were walking down the back, arms linked. Both were smiling and laughing so animatedly that Marcus was certain the songbirds were jealous. On occasion, he spotted Julia lightly slapping Trevor's ass and her husband reddening like a tomato at the sensation.

Marcus returned home satisfied at another successful trip.

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

Boom, Soapies!AU Afton family

Now if you’re sitting here thinking hey, that’s one too many Afton kids, good job, you’re good at math. That fourth one, the brown girl with black hair, is Cassidy Santiago-Afton, twin sister of the crying child, Juney.

Ok, Juney isn’t actually his name. It’s William Afton Jr., but he prefers Juney (short for Junior) or CC.

If you’re also thinking hey, none of these kids look alike, again, good job, you’re very observant. None of the kids are from the same mother, save for the twins, who just look unalike because genetics are just a massive web of middle fingers. Each of the kids’ moms are latina- Michael’s is Chilean, Liz’s is Mexican, and the twins’ is Puerto Rican. This isn’t really plot relevant, but due to not sharing mothers, the kids don’t really feel connected.

Liz is pretty close with Mike and Juney, but Cassidy resents her attitude about William (thinking she can earn his love and attention), thinks she’s spoiled, and they don’t get along at all. Cassidy does, however, get along very well with Juney- she’s literally the single sweetest kid in the entire world. She doesn’t like Michael much, and often defends Juney from his bullying. Cassidy never had time to hate Michael for the bite, having been murdered shortly after on the same day in a similar way by William.

See, the only kid who died directly at William’s hands was Charlie, and he hadn’t even intended to kill Charlie. He just shoved her against the brick wall of the diner too hard in his drunken anger and broke something that left her writhing and dying on the ground. The rest of the kids, however, were only wounded by his attacking, and he killed them when he stuffed them into the animatronic bodies. And especially since Juney was already inside the one he used for Cassidy, she was crushed.

(I want to make it clear when I or Sophie write the kids who died that way like my Lizzie or her missing kids what we intend is that they died from the heavy internal damage caused by a major crush injury, and weren’t like horribly mangled)

Elizabeth, however, did have the time to resent Michael for what he did, and while he tried to make it up to her, she became unresponsive to him and even began running away for pity because it was the only way she knew she’d get sympathy for her trauma. While she’d heard William talk about putting missing or dead kids back together, she didn’t really know what it meant, but promised Juney she’d put him back together, and even Cassidy too. William would leave Michael to babysit her as punishment when she would do bad things like run away for attention, and Michael would try to make it less of a punishment- he wouldn’t speak to her most of the time, he would get her her favorite foods for dinner and let her watch TV and go to bed late- the fact that Michael was still there and Juney was dead broke her.

In 1985, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria temporarily rebranded, featuring a cast of new characters- Funtime Foxy, Ballora, and Funtime Freddy. Unlike the original Freddy, Funtime Freddy was female, modeled after a little girl, had red fur instead of Freddy’s brown, and even wore pigtails. This group of characters was modeled after a circus, and inspired by Elizabeth’s ideas. While it was relatively well-received, it was quite short-lived as William shut down the idea not too long after Lizzie suddenly disappeared. It ended up becoming its own diner reserved for parties eventually, and when the real Freddy Fazbear’s opened back up, there were minimal issues. No more missing children, at least.

The four missing children, who died in 1983, were named Robin, Susie, Madelyn, and Wilson. They were a group of friends who were basically picked off one by one over the span of a few weeks. Susie, of course, haunts Chica, Madelyn is Freddy, Robin is Bonnie, and Wilson is Foxy.

The rest of the timeline is difficult at best because we’re trying to balance the actual fnaf timeline with the fact that Sophie wants Security Breach to take place in 2012.

On the note of Security Breach, Soapies!Michael does actually possess Glamrock Freddy. We’re currently thinking the rest of the animatronics are haunted by little kids picked off by Vanny, but Sophie’s not totally sure.

What she is sure about is the lack of a giant Pizzaplex. What the Soapies!AU has instead is a Fazbear’s pizzeria in a pretty large area inside of a mall, with a main stage for the main four animatronics, a diner, an activities room for laser tag, go karts or mini golf depending on the occasion, and Sun and Moon for the play area. The rest of the mall is just a normal mall, with a serial killer inside.

As for Vanny and Vanessa, she’s not sure what to do with them yet. Or Gregory. She’s debating making Vanny and Vanessa the same person, sisters, or making Vanny some supernatural entity.

Gregory, though, no matter what backstory he’s given, is probably just going to be a random homeless kid looking for somewhere safe who ends up wrapped into Vanny’s plan, and then with an 8 foot tall robot bear that is way more sentient than any robot bear should or would ever be as his dad figure.

First off, love the designs, very unique style for the faces

And I love Cassidy and Juney, they are so precious my children now-

I need to see this Funtime Freddy's design it sounds so cool-

Vanny being a supernatural entity would be a very interesting idea that I haven't really considered before

[toherlover]

more fun here

pairing: din djarin x reader (no use of y/n)

Summary: after spending the last 3 weeks on a bounty, din decides to give you the day off, but personal space was the last thing you wanted after spending so much time alone. 

wordcount: 2.6k

warnings/tags: alcohol, drinking, language? maybe? i dont remember, lots of fluff, mutual pining, mostly from din’s pov 

A/N: hi so i have never actually posted a fic before oop. i have them i just ~dont share~ so this is something new to try for now! 

Mando jumped when the hatch fell open, shaken out of light sleep. His hand immediately fell to the blaster tucked into the holster but froze when he saw her trudging up the ramp. She was holding some sort of drink in one hand, her other arm held out to the side as if she was walking on a balance beam. The girl was muttering under her breath, obviously concentrating way too hard on not spilling whatever liquid was frothing in the glass. 

When she got to the hull of the Razor Crest she let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Hey Mando!” the girl yelled a little too loud, “I’m home!!”

The Mandalorian said nothing. She leaned against the frame and held the glass out to him, panting and starting to slide to the floor.

“I- I got one for-for you!”

He had given her the day to be off on her own, considering how safe the new system they’d landed in was known to be. Maker, she’d spent the last three weeks couped up in the crest by herself. Cabin fever had never really gotten to him, but when he came back this time, bounty flung over his shoulder, it was obvious that it had gotten to her. 

He’d felt bad telling her to stay on the ship and only run to the shop when necessary, especially when she butted back in argument. The girl probably didn’t realize it was for her own good, a protective measure. She had rolled her eyes in annoyance, but when Mando didn’t falter in his stance through the fight she reluctantly agreed. He hadn’t meant to leave her alone this long, he truly thought it’d be just over a week, and there was a pang of guilt in his chest for leaving her here like this. 

In his absence, the girl had thoroughly redecorated the ship. All sorts of… things, crafts, maker-knows-whats, were sitting atop crates, hung on the walls, clearly made using whatever she’d found rummaging through the spare parts bin and in the singular shop connected to the docking bay.

There was a string of little flickering lights hanging across the hull, pieced together from old console controls. It looked like she had sewed together some old fabrics to create some sort of rug, too. 

The girl herself was asleep on the floor, surrounded by papers covered in writing and doodles. It was a mess- whatever she’d been writing was scattered and out of order. The kid was tucked under her arm, completely limp and snoring quietly. They looked like they’d passed out on the spot, mid-activity, on the Crest’s floor. She was wearing an odd combination of clothing he’d never seen before, had she made them herself? The child had a crown woven out of old wires sitting on his head, a matching one had clearly slipped out of her hair.

Mando silently thanked the stars not only for the fact that she was asleep when he got back, but that he had a layer of beskar to hide the smile he couldn’t keep from inching across his face. When he’d hired her a few months back to watch the kid and help copilot as needed, the girl had seemed so harsh. Her knuckles were scarred and she sneered when she called him out on his shit. Which she seemed to love to do. 

In the cockpit, they’d sit in silence for hours, something the Mandalorian usually valued with others, but he wished she’d say something. Anything. Occasionally he’d feel her eyes trained on his helmet, or he’d glance back at her to see her clearly thinking deeply about something, but it was never a shared thought. It was quiet. 

He’d never admit to it, but he was terrified that she was scared of him. Maker, she’d seen him come back out of breath and dragging a body behind him. She was always standing by when he was at his worst, catching her flinch out of the corner of his eye didn’t make it any better. 

But there were moments. Moments he was sure she hadn’t noticed him watching. Moments when she was soft. There were little things. Like how she always gripped the armrest a little tighter and squeezed her eyes shut right before they landed, or how she places a gentle kiss on the kid’s head every night before tucking him in. He doubted she was aware, but she sticks her tongue out just a little bit and fiddles with her necklace when she’s concentrating. Sometimes she leaves little reminders around the ship for them both; they’re always signed with a smiley face at the end. 

There were a few times he’d caught her humming to herself and dancing around on her toes. She was graceful- he wasn’t expecting that. For a fighter pilot with such a callous attitude, she was so delicate. So he stayed back, knowing she’d stop the moment she knew he was there. 

Or how she left a third woven crown hanging from his seat in the cockpit. No, she didn’t wear a helmet, but it was pretty clear that she hid behind her own layer of beskar, too.

But they had never shared a moment like this: the girl slumped in the door frame, holding a drink out to him with a straw stuck in it. The child toddled over to her.

“Hey little dude!” she put the drink on the floor and held her arms out to him. “Look, sorry I’m back just a little smidgen of a bit late,” she said, words slurring, bopping him lightly on the nose. “I sorta kinda,” the girl’s voice didn’t get any quieter as she tried to whisper, “forgot where we were parked.” She shook her head and held a finger to her lips, “Don’t tell Mando.”

The Mandalorian let out a sigh loud enough to be heard through the vocoder and her head whipped around to face him. “I’m-” she started to get up, “I’m sorry I’m a little bit,” she held on to the wall as she stumbled forward, “a little bit late.” With a huff she gave up and sat back down on the floor, but continued to scootch herself closer to him, only stopping a foot or so before his feet. 

Still, he was silent, and the color seemed to drain from her face. Under the cold stare of his visor, she tucked her head back like a child expecting to be scolded. After a few moments, she glanced nervously around the room, looking anywhere besides where she knew his eyes would be. She couldn’t tell the man in front of her was doing everything in his power to stifle a laugh as she struggled to sit up straight. 

“Hey, so you’re actually a reeaallly quiet person,” she said softly, fidgeting a bit, “and I don’t know if you know or realize it or not, or if it’s on purpose, b- but when you go all quiet like this I really don’t know- I mean I’m terrible at reading the room anyways- but I can’t tell if you’re mad and I just-”

He cut her off. “I’m not mad.” Her face lit up slightly. Honestly, he wished he was angry. He should have been angry. His ship was a mess. But when she sat in front of him like this, he found it hard to be even the slightest bit irritated. He’d asked her to be back before nightfall, and for once she didn’t ask why or argue back. 

“Oh.” She smiled softly then leaned all the way back so that her head skimmed the floor. She reached behind her, grabbing the blue drink and sliding it forward as she sat back up. “It was fun. Probably not your scene, I don’t really know, but the music was good, you would have liked that. You should have come.”

With a sigh, the Mandalorian rose to his feet and held a hand out to her, offering to help her up. She smiled again and let him pull her to her feet, immediately placing a hand on his shoulder to steady herself. His hand landed on her waist to keep her upright. “I don’t really do parties.”

She looked up at him. Somehow, even in her intoxicated state, she always managed to look him directly in the eye. “Yeah, I know. Sorta figured. To be really honest with you though, neither do I, I just wanted to do something a little bit different, yah know?” 

“I know.”

They stood there in silence for a minute, then she rested her head against his chest. He froze. She’d never shown an ounce of affection, let alone stand together like this. He knew she was drunk. He guessed the girl wouldn’t remember this in the morning. But still, he held her tightly and savored the moment. It couldn’t have been comfortable, but she leaned against him anyway. 

“But the credits I’d give to see you dance in this tin-man suit,” she knocked on his chest and giggled. 

“I don’t really dance.”

“Liar. You can so dance. No way you’re that quiet and sneaky and can’t.” Her nose scrunched up as she scoffed at him, poking at his chest plate. “Me, however, whew, you really don’t know what you missed, shiny. You’re holding the worst dancer on this side of the galaxy.”

His head cocked to the side and he paused, watching her poke fun at herself, thinking of all the times he’d caught her tiptoeing around with the child. All the times she would sing quietly and swing her hips while out and about. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, “No I’ve seen you dance, you dance all the time.”

Her lips parted as a confused look fell across her face. He couldn’t fully read her expression, but it was clear a million thoughts were flooding her brain. He was instantly worried that he’d offended her. Not only had he invaded her privacy- he admitted it to her face. He worried she’d step away and the moment would end, that she’d go to bed and leave in the morning, taking her pay and her bag. But with one eyebrow raised and a soft smile playing across her face, she wrapped both arms around his neck. 

“So I guess you owe me one then, huh? I brought you back a drink and everything.”

-----

You picked up on his almost inaudible laugh even through the modulator. Sure, you’d had a few drinks. You had been a little past the point of tipsy as you neared the Crest, but you were coming to your senses now. Were you over-exaggerating your state of mind? Most indefinitely. You couldn’t help it, though. The last 3 weeks had been an absolute shit-show. 

You were fine until the end of the first week, then you started to get worried. The thought of him kept you up at night, so you told yourself that there was no way you could have possibly missed him. You only cared because this was your wellbeing now. I mean, before you got this position you spent every minute alone, too. This wasn’t any different. 

Except that it was. And you hated that it was. This was just supposed to be another job. Somehow this man in a metal suit had weaseled his way into a soft spot in your heart.

He’d been so patient. Sure, you knew how to fly a ship, and you’re not clueless when it comes to mechanics, but this ship was unlike anything you’d seen before. So he taught you. 

When he came back bloodied and bruised, he’d explain exactly what he needed you to do. In one instance he had gently guided your hand, slowly realizing he didn’t have to patch himself up anymore. Maybe he liked having you there. It was impossible to tell; maker, the few times you’d tried small talk it seemed to push him away even further. 

But you didn’t want him further away. 

You wanted him right here.

Figured that one out week two. 

Week three the kid decided you didn’t need sleep. He cried and whined until you hung up that makeshift strand of lights. Then he sat and stared up at them like they were the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. So you made more things to pass the time. And more. And more. 

You don’t even remember finally falling asleep, so waking up in the cot was a surprise. You slipped out of bed to figure out what was going on but stopped dead in your tracks when you heard him laugh.

The hatch to the cockpit was open, and from the low angle, you could just barely see the child sitting on the Mandalorian’s lap. 

“It looks cute on you, kid.” The baby giggled and reached out for his arms. The wire crown was sitting on his head again. “How does mine look?” 

The crown you barely remembered making for him during the third-week fever dream was clearly resting on his head, atop the helmet and all. The baby cooed.

When you landed he practically announced that the day was yours and you were free to go off and enjoy yourself. You thought about asking him to tag along but worried it’d be overstepping. Maker, the man had to have been just as, or even more, exhausted as you. Your pity didn’t run too deep, though. You knew it was selfish, but you hoped that maybe he’d want to be with you.

You tried your hardest to not seem disappointed when you turned to see him still in the hull as you strode down the gangway. You walked to clear your mind before popping into a cantina, which ended up being the center of life, and finding peace with the bottle. 

The buzz had almost completely worn off by now, and you were back. And he was back. And he was holding you like he couldn’t risk letting you go. 

-----

He looked down at her and let out a sigh. “Next time, sweet girl. We need to get you to bed before you’re out on the floor.”

Her face flushed pink at the sound of his words. Stars, at least he hoped that was why. He could practically see the wheels turning behind her eyes asking, ‘sweet girl? When did you get so soft on me?’ 

She pushed up on her toes, flattening her body completely against his. Her arms were still around his neck, and he carefully brought his hands together behind her waist. Had he not been wearing the kriffing helmet he would have been able to feel her breath against his neck as she nestled herself impossibly closer. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” she whispered.

He gave a curt nod, his body stiff and tense under her.

“I wanted to leave the second after it started,” Her voice dropped even lower and her eyes fluttered shut, “... figured it’d be more fun here with you.” 

His heart stilled as he realized her invisible beskar helmet had been lifted. He hoped it fell from her shoulders and rolled down the ramp, was lost in the night, maybe even stolen by scavengers, never to be seen between the two of them again. 

She could feel his grip on her back tighten as his head relaxed onto her shoulder.    

“Tomorrow night we’ll stay in,” his voice was just loud enough to pass through the modulator.  

A smile crept across her face, “I’ll hold you to it, Mando.”

“I’m a man of my word.”

“I know.”

[rayless-reblogs]

Let’s talk about HFW’s returning characters

Something I want to make clear before anything else – I really enjoyed HFW, and I really like most of these characters. Despite the criticisms I get into here, please understand that a) I think the game got more right than it got wrong, and b) these are only opinions, not absolutes. I'm not trying to convince you of anything, I'm just sharing thoughts.

Spoilers under the cut.

Aloy:

I think it was a risky move to start Aloy off as so harsh and unyielding with her friends, pushing them away. But to me, it feels like a believable development. In the first game, she's grateful to start making connections, to actually have friends after a literal lifetime of solitude. Now that she's more comfortable with the idea of friends – is, in fact, so comfortable that she might even take it for granted – she wants to protect them. So she pushes them away. She may also fear becoming too emotionally invested in them, having not yet learned to balance the inner world of friendship with the external task of accomplishing her world-saving goals. The thing is, her shift in attitude comes across as jarringly abrupt. We see a hint of it in the Talanah comic when Aloy leaves the victory party without a word, but even that feels a bit too quick and absolute. That aside, I think the game does a decent job of digging into Aloy's fears and frustrations, especially in her relationship with Beta. One problem I have with the first game is that Aloy so often comes across as literally better than everyone else, with no questioning of that (from the game itself) or repercussions for perceived hubris, and this game gives her some flaws to work with.

Amadis:

On this list, Amadis is the character I'm pretty indifferent to. But I was sufficiently invested to be disappointed by his appearance in HFW. For one, he just doesn't look much like he does in the comic; he's much more anonymous here. For another, he never really makes a connection with Aloy, and he didn't connect with me at all. I was interested to see how his story played out, but he didn't endear himself to me and I'll be fine if we never hear from him again.

Avad:

I never expected Avad to be in this game at all. We're heading into the Forbidden West, and he's a king who has to stay on his throne. So the little soupcon we got early on was very welcome. His character model looked a bit off to me (“stodgy” is one word I've heard for it, and I think that's right). But he offered some interesting tidbits, primarily that he plans to abdicate just as soon as his brother's old enough to rule. And he very hopefully hints to Aloy that he might like to join her in her adventuring. Both of these were unnecessary for the writers to throw in (as was one of the game's rare head-heart-fist options in Aloy's answer), so I wonder if this could be foreshadowing – a means of reminding the gamer of Avad's existence on the way to the third game. I've been wondering what it means that HFW shot down so many of Aloy's potential ships. Will the game makers force a canonical love route, and with Avad? That said, as I played the game, as I went through cauldrons and fought rebels and jumped off of cliffs, I repeatedly thought to myself “This is the life Avad wants?!” I really struggle to see Avad coping with Aloy's lifestyle, and Aloy's given no indication she wants to settle down and stay put. Anyway, Avad's unnecessary inclusion strongly leads me to believe he'll be in the third game. I'd like to see him with a large role again, as I think there's still room for his character to grow.

Ted:

Thebes was by far my favorite part of the game. I was so amped up while playing it, eager to know which of all the possible horrible scenarios had happened, what I was going to find. I love the horror elements, I love the data points. I love the uncomfortable, paternalistic way Ted refers to the new humans as “the kids”. And what a payoff. I don't know if this is controversial, but I think keeping Ted's appearance censored was the right choice. However they'd depicted him, someone would've seen it as awkward or laughable or in some way not scary. Leaving it to your imagination is much more effective. It also leaves the question open of how self-aware Ted remained – did he live every day of those thousand years, waiting, thinking, as the minutes passed? Did he know what happened at the end? Or had he completely lost himself? It's whatever you think is scarier. (Or, if you like Ted, whatever's more merciful, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone in this fandom who likes Ted.)

Petra:

There wasn't much of Petra. I could've used more Petra. But I wasn't expecting her to have a huge role, so I wasn't very disappointed. I did think, though, perhaps in HFW's efforts to remove most of Aloy's ships, their interplay was pretty toned down; I've always felt that in the first game Aloy responds the most positively to Petra's flirting, but that all felt pretty muted here.

GAIA:

I like GAIA, but this game didn't do anything to add to her character. She's basically exactly the same as you see in the first game's datapoints. Definitely a missed opportunity.

Nil:

I'm glad to see Nil Lives is canon, as I like my weird topless criminal friend. And I'm happy to see him redirecting his passion towards something less unambiguously lethal. But personally, this arc underwhelmed me. It was fun talking to Nil, I enjoyed his scenes (I even enjoyed the racing minigame, which is not a given), but as a narrative move, it didn't feel particularly – useful. There's not a lot of development for his character, and Aloy (to me) actually seemed less comfortable with him than she did in the original. It felt like Nil was included more for fanservice than to advance his character. After Nil becomes an itinerant cow racer unattached to any greater goal, where do you take his story? I'm not sure what kind of purpose he'd serve in the third game (again, especially because, like Petra, his connection with Aloy feels muted now), so I have some doubts he'll return. But if he does show up again, I'll certainly be glad to see him.

Sylens:

I would've liked to see more of him, but when he did show, I wasn't disappointed. I've never felt like I could trust Sylens, but something I'd always banked on is that he'll do everything in his power to save earth because he wants to live. And then, at the end of the game, he proved me wrong. That was a surprise, but an interesting one, and it made his decision to fight for earth more meaningful, rather than a means of simple self-preservation. Obviously he'll be in the third game. I've always assumed Aloy and Sylens would spend the whole series both uneasily cooperating but also actively opposing each other as events shifted. I hope the third game doesn't turn him into just an ally; he's the best antagonist in the series and I'd hate to see him defanged.

Talanah:

I feel like this is the big one, the most controversial one, and I don't have anything to say that other people haven't. The quest was interesting, but underwhelming. Talanah's focus on Amadis felt way too narrow, and her leaving Aloy behind felt out of character. Looking back, there's definitely this sense of, I'm so glad to see Talanah, I wish she wanted to hang out with me more. Which is a letdown after seeing the comic and the HFW advertising that featured her front and center. You got the sense that Talanah was going to be in this alongside Aloy, not just occasionally running past her, intent on stuff that has nothing to do with the main plot. I don't hate Talanah in HFW, but I remember feeling an inarticulate something about her quest, some kind of lack, and after seeing other people's takes, I have to agree that her role could have been so much more.

Erend:

Oh, Erend. I hadn't realized how deep his inferiority complex ran, and hearing him beat himself up over regrets about Ersa and not feeling like he was being useful to Aloy got to me. Which was some good character... not growth, but examination, definitely giving him something to build on in the next game. So I liked that. What I didn't like is when characters – particularly Aloy – denigrated him just for being who he was. It was bad when Zo did it, because Zo always got to come off as being in the right. But it was worse when Aloy agreed with it. I really wish Aloy could have been as supportive of Erend as he was of her. Do I think Erend's being foreshadowed to be the canon love interest? I think it's too early to say. True, he wasn't sidelined, muted, or otherwise distracted, as her other original shipmates were. And, true, the game makers didn't have to make them embrace each other at the end of the game, but they chose to. On the other hand, the embrace could very easily be read as platonic. And since one of the game's central themes is the Power of Friendship, it makes sense for Erend, literally one of Aloy's very first friends, to stand in and represent that in that shot. Anyway, he's clearly going to be in the next game, and I hope he gets the chance to prove himself – to himself.

Vanasha and Uthid:

Wasn't expecting to see them, so this little tidbit was welcome. Not much to say except that I'm glad they're doing well, would like to see them again.

Varl:

Oof. The game positioned Varl as the “heart” of the team, the emotional center who grounded and protected the other members. I'm not mad they killed him. (Actually, I think it was a good twist, as I felt like the game had been leading me to expect Beta to die, taking my attention off of him.) But I wish there'd been a quest or two with him first. I wanted to know him better. He's very likable in this game, but arguably too likable – there's not much dimension to him this time around. His relationship with Zo did draw his character out some, but Aloy wasn't there to see much of it.

In all, I really like the game, I really like these characters (most of them, not Ted). For the most part, I was happy to spend time with them and they all added to the experience. But I think the writing could go deeper, so I hope most of them return in the final game and show us that depth.

[glowinggator]

Friendly Competition

Request:  Now I can’t get the image of Mikey and Leo prancing around the lair to try to impress Y/N and Raph and Donnie just exchanging glances like wth in response to this X,D Wait, are you open to requests? Because then I’d totally request if you could do the idea of Leo and Mikey trying to impress Y/N in outdoing each other…

Characters: Leonardo (Pining)/Reader/Michelangelo (Pining)

Content Warnings: Swearing, really brief reference to The Walking Dead (Season 4). 

Word Count: 1946 

“Carl, Carl! Oh my god, dude,” Mikey squeals, clinging tightly to Raph’s side. Any other day, you might have laughed a little at his reaction - once a little brother, always a little brother - but you’re not in much better standing this time. The boy on TV backs slowly away from the zombies a little overconfidently for your liking, and you can’t suppress the rush of anxiety that courses through you. He’s a TV character, sure, but you’ve watched him grow up! He can’t die now, right? 

And when the third walker appears, grabbing onto the young boy and pulling him down, you could have sworn the whole lair screamed. The room is filled with the “no’s” and various swears of your friends as the kid fights for his life, and you press yourself further into the couch to try and put some distance between you and the TV. You flinch at the sound of gunshots as he pushes the walkers away, barely managing to stay alive, when suddenly the room is pierced with a noise that’s somehow even more jarring and terrifying. 

Battle alarm. Of course. Some yokai...alien… whatever it is... had to terrorize New York City now, of all times? 

"Couldn't this have been an email or something? Really, the nerve of some people. Interrupting The Walking Dead now, of all times," You groan jokingly, pausing the show for the boys as they rise to their feet. 

“If you unpause it while we’re gone, I will take you as a prisoner of war and treat the Geneva Convention as a to-do-list,” Donatello snarks. 

You stick your tongue out at him, but you can’t help but giggle. “Noted, D. Hurry back guys, stay safe!” 

“We will!” Raphael calls, waving to you with a smile before stopping at the exit of the lair, waiting for his brothers to catch up. Donatello walks right past him, balancing his tech bō over the expanse of his shoulders. You smile and wave back at Raph, but soon after, you’re met with the excited cheers of Mikey. He takes a running start at one of the nearby guard rails, grinning as he lines himself up at an angle. He jumps, grabbing the bar and spinning himself around it with ease to face you. In the brief second where your eyes lock, he shoots you a wink and a grin, before spinning himself back around and walking off. I mean, you know he’s a ninja and all, but has he always been that smooth with his parkour? Or like, that smooth in general? 

He waves quickly at you with a smile and walks straight past Raph and into the tunnels of the sewer system. “Later, angel!” He chirps. 

Leo boos before taking a running start of his own. Not to be outdone, he avoids the bar completely, instead choosing to flip over it entirely. He clears the bar with ease, landing on one leg and sweeping the other under him to perform a small rotation towards the ground. As he regains his balance, he pushes himself up with one hand and removes his feet from the ground to do another rotation before planting them once more and performing an angled flip. His movements are quick and fluid, as though such acrobatic feats were innate to his nature. As he lands he grins and shoots you a pair of fingerguns - which you laugh at softly - before backing out of the lair. “Later, sweetheart,” he coos, and turns around to walk out properly. You chuckle again once you hear Mikey’s voice echo from the sewers. 

“Show-off.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You swish the warm drink around in your mug and take a sip. You practically purr at the heat as it hits your tongue: it’s been far too cold for your liking lately. Or, maybe you’re spending too much time in the sewers. Maybe you should invest in some space heaters, if you’re gonna be down here all the time. You twiddle a pencil between your fingers as you fill out the tattered crossword in a vain attempt to wake your brain up a little. Who was Aphrodite’s son again? Did she even have a son? You suppose you’ll get back to that one. 

Raphael stumbles into the kitchen with a groan, fumbling around for a fresh mug. “Good mornin’, Y/N.” 

“Good morning, Raph,” you reply. 

He finally manages to find a mug, pouring some coffee and creamer and pulling up a chair next to you. He leans his head in his hands, clearly not awake yet. You chuckle. “Sleepy?”

He hums affirmatively and takes a sip of his coffee. You pat his shell gently and return to your crossword. You’ve never felt more like an adult, you think sarcastically. It’s like some scene out of a Lifetime movie. 

Out of nowhere, there comes a loud thump from the common area, followed by the quiet swears of Leo. You damn-near jump out of your seat at the sudden noise, barely managing to keep your drink in your mug. It sloshes around the rim, and you quickly put your hand up to steady it. Raph, meanwhile, stays glued to his seat, seemingly unbothered by the loud noise. “Good morning,” he repeats. You snort. “Good morning, indeed,” you reply. 

After a moment of thought, you set down your cup and rise to your feet. You might as well check out the noise and make sure everything is okay. You pat Raph’s head one last time before walking out into the living room, only to find Mikey and Leo whispering loudly at one another. Their voices are so hushed that it’s difficult to decipher what exactly they’re saying, although you can certainly hear them. But judging by the force behind the indecipherable words - and the overexaggerated hand motions - it clearly isn’t a friendly discussion. You clear your throat and wave gently at them, which catches their attention. 

“Everything okay?” You venture. 

“Yeah-” says Mikey. 

“Yeah- It’s- Everything’s all good,” Leo stumbles, only to be cut off by his brother.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” He elbows Leo harshly, emphasizing some point to his brother that you’re clearly missing. 

“Hunky-dorey.” 

“Peachy-keen”

“Perfect.” 

The two keep stuttering and stammering, occasionally elbowing the other without warning. You raise an eyebrow at the strange behavior, and decide to intervene. “Okay,” you drawl, “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear… whatever that was. For your guys’ sake.” You joke lightly, attempting to lighten the mood a little and divert the attention away from that… trainwreck of an interaction. And the boys seem all-too-happy for the excuse, as Leo quickly jumps in with a quick question. 

“Hey, now that you’re here, could you do us a huge favor? We’re having a little…” he pauses, “brotherly competition, and we need someone unbiased to judge.” 

“Oh, that sounds fun!” You chirp, “What kind of competition is it?” 

“It’s-” 

“It’s a parkour competition!” Mikey interjects. 

The tension between the two turtles is thick, and you certainly don’t want to be the one to address it. Perhaps if you ignore it, it’ll go away on its own? Maybe they both woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, or maybe this competition has high stakes? You sigh internally: it’s too early to be thinking this hard. “Sweet! I’m ready to be impressed,” you jest. “Who’s going first?” 

“Me!” 

“I will!” 

They reply in unison, cutting each other off for the umpteenth time today. You chuckle and roll your eyes, which catches their attention. You don’t miss the way their eyes light up… or the way Mikey begins to smirk. He looks almost devious, although you suppose such a mischievous look isn’t an uncommon sight with him. 

“Leo,” he starts, “How about you go first?” 

He takes the bait with a grin, clearly unaware of whatever plan Michelangelo’s formed. “Why certainly!” He rolls his wrist around in an overexaggerated motion, beaming with absolute confidence. “As the eldest brother in the room, I’d be happy to show you how it’s done.” 

And with that, he’s off. His movements are as smooth as silk as he runs towards the nearest crate, grabbing it at an angle to flip himself over once. He lands on his feet with a loud “thump” against the concrete, but he doesn’t waste a moment as he runs towards the nearest wall. He runs up its length the moment he’s in range, this time using his body weight to spin himself during his flip. He’s fluid in his movements, years of practice and training shining through in this brief moment. This time he lands straight up on both feet, although he doesn’t take any reprieve. Instead, he kicks himself up and over, sweeping the leg to enter a combative stance. A final flourish in his display, you assume. And just like that, it’s over. The show only lasted a matter of seconds, but it’s still enough to leave you starry-eyed and in awe. 

“That was fucking badass, Leo!” You clap. 

“Really?” He smiles, “Uh, I mean, yeah! Thanks!” He fumbles with his hands for a moment before finding a spot for them. He rests them behind his head, shifting side to side on his feet. God, that’s so fucking cute. 

You beam: You can’t wait to see what Mikey does! “Think you can top that, Mikey?” 

He returns your excitement wholeheartedly, shining back with something that seems like… so much more than his typical positivity. In most situations, he radiates so much positivity that one could liken it to a lighthouse for the hopeful. But his attitude seems different from that usual beacon of light. He’s excited, positive, and confident, but that’s not what’s throwing you off. Sure, they’re competitive, but what’s the motivator this time? Ah, you suppose you’ll find out soon enough. You’re brought out of your thoughts by his cheers. “Easy!” 

And god, Mikey’s movements are so graceful that he makes Leo’s look inexperienced, like a giraffe crossing a tightrope. He moves like a swan through water, scaling walls effortlessly and flying through the air like it’s his second home. He starts his routine off strong, leaping at the first waist-high object he could lay his eyes on, performing an impromptu 720 rotation and landing on the concrete protrusion hands-first. He leaps off it as quickly as he landed, using his momentum to propel himself onto a nearby set of steel bars. He throws himself from one to the other with ease, spinning and adding his own flair to each and every movement. You can’t seem to take your eyes off of him while he leaps his way to victory. He uses any ledge possible to propel himself higher and higher, and his movements are so light and quick that they hardly make a sound. And before you know it, he’s standing at the topmost bit of the lair. He plops himself down, dangling his legs off of the precipice and swinging them back and forth. From this far away, you can barely see the way his grin stretches across his face, but you know it’s there. He raises one hand to wave at you and Leo, and the way he wiggles his fingers signals that he knows he’s won. And to be fair, he has. You giggle at the way Leo mutters “show-off” under his breath - where have you heard that one before? - before signaling for Mikey that he’s won and to head on down. And god, the descent is just as impressive. He laughs as he kicks and spins his way down, and despite the competition being over, he continues to shine and demonstrate his skills flawlessly. 

“One and one, baby!”

[serendipityjxmn]

Chapter 13

TW: None

Words Count: 1.7k

Link to Masterlist

Link to Chapter 14

“Jimin?” You softly call. He looks up from his toast in front of him. “Um.. I saw someone unfamiliar with your security.. apart from Jinhyeok and Daniel.. is he new?”

“Ah. I forgot to tell you. His name is Taeseok. He’ll be your bodyguard from now on.” He casually says and went back to eating his toast.

“What?” You say a tad too loudly, startling him. “Why?”

He looks at you again. “What do you mean why- to protect you of course, you idiot.”

He calls you an idiot. Yet you have no idea why your heart flutters at that. Maybe you really are an idiot.

“I can’t be around you all the time and now that the public knows you, you’d need security.”

You swallow. It’s the cons of being a public figure, you guess. Or being married to one.

It’s a busy day at the office that day. You don’t see Jimin a lot. He even tells you to go home first since he had few things to be done. You figured to wait for him but then decided against it since you have something else to do.

Back at home, you’ve been rummaging and scrounging through the kitchen just so you can do what you can with the plan in your mind ever since you find out about Jimin’s birthday. It’s basically still two weeks away but early planning never hurts, you guess.

And that’s how you find yourself teteering dangerously on the edge of a stool because god forbids that the cabinets in the house is freaking high for you. And you curse whoever stacks the antique porcelain cup set so high but thinking it might be Mrs. Lee, you grit your teeth trying to reach it.

“Goddamn it, I just can’t reach it-“ you grumble.

As if on cue, Jimin’s voice broke through the kitchen, startling you and making your hand hit cabinet door before you feet starts to lose balance.

“Fuck Y/N-“ is the last thing you hear before you find yourself succumbing to the gravity and falling in less than elegant way to the ground.

Except the ground doesn’t feel so rough.

A grunt from beneath you makes your eyes shoot open and you’re met with the sight of your husband, his face merely inches from you. His brows creased and his expression pained. It takes you a few moments to realize you fell on top of him.

“Oh my god- are you okay?” You move your body but Jimin ends up grunting again and you panic even more.

“Y/N,” he calls you. You freeze but continue to stare at him in alarm. That’s when you realize that your hips literally met against him, making your private area right against his crotch. You gasp and wastes no time getting up, muttering tonnes of apologies at once.

He gets up as well. “I.. didn’t mean to startle you.”

You shake your head. “No.. I’m- I’m sorry I didn’t hear you come. Do you need anything?”

You look up and sees Jimin has his right hand on the back of his head, like he’s shy. He clears his throat.

“I.. got something for you.” As soon as the words come out of his mouth, you could’ve sworn his cheeks are flushing.

You look down at the gift perfectly wrapped in front of you. Slowly, like in a trance you take it from him.

“It’s uh.. I got it from a friend. Long time ago. And I don’t use it.. so.. if you wanna use it.. if you don’t it’s fine-“ Jimin is rambling at this point while you unwrap the gift.

It’s an art set. A freaking expensive one at that. Complete with the canvas, brushes and all kinds of coloring.

You look up and realize Jimin has left you so you start towards him, half running until you see his familiar back in the hallway.

“Jimin-“ you call him and he turns. Not thinking for a second, you hug him tightly. “Thank you.” You say as soon as you let go of him, holding his hand tight. “I love it.” You say in all honesty because you really do mean it.

You wish you could treasure your husband’s look of surprise mixed with some embarassment forever. He looks too adorable for your heart.

“Yeah, um-“ is all he says before he turns his back again and walks away.

You feel your heart pounds so fast as you watch his retreating figure.

No, don’t fall for him. He’s dangerous.

You hug the gift set tight on your chest.

But who are you kidding.

You. Like. Him.

Fuck.

And that’s the main reason that you wake the next morning feeling different. You’ve woken up beside a sleeping Jimin, your own freaking husband for weeks now and yet there he is, still sleeping soundly but your heart is behaving erratically.

Even when you’re having breakfast with him, you feel nervous that you can’t quite look at him in the eye. Like you’re staring at your crush. God, damn it you feel like a highschooler again. A hormonal highschooler.

You’re not yourself at work either. You know your husband has always been good looking but he looks extra handsome today, you think. Or is it just your biased mind talking?

If good looks are illegal, you’d probably be the first to sue him.

“Y/N?” Jimin calls you, pulling you out from your trance of thoughts. Your cheeks flush, feels like you’ve been caught in your embarassing thoughts.

“Y-yes?” You ask as you stand beside his desk in his office.

“You’re so out of it today. What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” You quickly say and excuse yourself before you can further embarass yourself.

At home that night, taking a huge deep breath and trying hard to calm your trembling hands holding a a cup of coffee and a package, you knock on Jimin’s study room door. You enter after his answer.

He seems busy on his computer, barely looking up to register who’s coming in. You approach silently, almost tiptoeing though you have no idea why.

You put the cup of coffee on the edge of his table together with a wrapped package beside it.

“Jimin..” you call him cautiously. When he doesn’t look up, you continue. “I.. have something for you.”

That seems to pique his interest as he looks up from his work. He looks at you then at the gift you place on his desk.

“I.. made it myself but- um I don’t know if you’ll like it..”

He reaches the package and his fingers move to unwrap it so you quickly turn on your heels, exiting the study room with a pounding heart. His reaction to opening your gift isn’t something that you think your heart can handle.

You had made him a custom name plaque for him to put it in his office. If he ever finds it to his liking. Which you secretly hope he does. You’d made it before with little source you have but you’ve been contemplating too much whether to give it to him because things hadn’t been smooth with him all the time.

But recently you feel like you’ve gotten much progress in your relationship with your husband. So you figured you would just man up and give it to him. Though you promise yourself to make something else for him using the art set he gave you.

“Y/N!” You hear it before you turn to see Mina running breathlessly towards you.

“Mina what’s wrong-“

“This- take this-“ she says still out of breath. “For meeting with the Japanese after this, you’re sitting in the meeting right?”

“No I’m not-“ you begin but gets cut off instantly.

“What? Really? Oh God- please if you don’t know what the meeting’s about Mr. Park wouldn’t allow you in though. Y/N please can you help me out this once? My stomach is really really killing me now.” She continues to beg, clutching her stomach harshly.

You just couldn’t say no.

Even though you know you know how your husband could be in the meeting room. Especially when someone doesn’t know what they’re doing.

And that’s exactly what you’re doing right now.

And it doesn’t take long for Jimin to excuse you and himself outside the conference room and you know you’re absolutely doomed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He hisses outside the door, where everyone in the office could hear him shouting at you, his wife and you flinch. “The Japanese are waiting in the fucking conference room!” He barks.

You don’t know how to answer him. Do you tell him that Mina’s supposed to be sitting in? But that would put her on the spot so you decided to shut your mouth. Though you wish he would tell you off somewhere private instead.

“I didn’t pay your salary for you to fuck around-“ he snarls and the atmosphere gets even more tense.

It isn’t your fault.. You’re not the one who does it, not even the one’s supposed to sit in the meeting..

Feeling thoroughly unfairly accused, you feel your eyes start to water.

Your husband, ever the cold person doesn’t seem to take pity with your cry.

“If this is what you wanna do here, then you should’ve just sit the fuck home.” He hisses and you’ve never feel so hurt by his words. He just made this a whole lot personal by mentioning home. Jimin doesn’t waste another second and immediately turns on his heel.

Turn around and say you’re sorry.

But of course, Jimin doesn’t do that.

Someone approaches you as soon as Jimin’s gone, you’re not sure who with your unclear vision to ask if you’re okay. You hastily nod then gives a small smile before retreating to your desk.

This is a very cowardly act, you think.

But you just can’t hold it in anymore. Perhaps you’re better off not knowing what your husband does at work. Clara Kim, his cold attitude towards you.. it’s too much..

With a heavy sigh, you pull out a drawer on your right. Your hand reach for the letter you wrote few nights ago.

You resigned as your husband’s secretary.

A/N: surprise chapter drop! Hehe. I hope you guys are ready, the rollercoaster ride of emotions is just about to start 😎 brace yourself!

Link to Chapter 14

Posted on 210427 9:00PM

[mediocre--writing]

I loved your childhood friends ask! I have a headcannon that when they grow up and get to high school, Billy has a hard time because Steve is seeking out girls whereas Billy just wants him. Billy would definitely cry to his mom about it, especially when Nancy comes into the picture, his head in her lap as she plays with his hair and tries to soothe his broken heart and sobs. How could he fall in love with his straight childhood best friend?

it wasn’t steve’s fault.

billy had to keep reminding himself that it was in no way steve’s fault.

but as he sat in the camaro, waiting for steve to get out of his house, billy could see steve twirling the phone cord around his fingers while he blushed and talked to someone.

billy had been there for almost ten minutes. and steve had seen him, even waved at him, and was usually so punctual about leaving the house.

but it took a total of 25 minutes for steve to hang up the phone and come out to billy’s car.

“nance was talking to me about that party friday, you know the one? but yeah she wanted us to go together and so...”

“so you wanna drive her to the party. steve, she’s your girl, you gotta take her,”

steve sighed out in relief, “we’ll go to the next one together, b, alright?”

“of course,”

they hung out that afternoon but billy didn’t feel as up for it as he was when he was getting ready.

steve was constantly talking about nancy or the party and what he should wear. billy wanted to beat his face in.

it wasn’t for any other reason than he was being annoying. steve and billy were hanging out. that was the plan. it wasn’t steve, billy, and the constant thought of nancy wheeler hanging out.

they drove around for a while, which was nice, and they sang to music, and billy felt settled by steve’s semi-raspy singing voice.

he felt a bit better about losing steve to nancy until he went to drop steve off. it wasn’t anything that happened, just what he said:

“thanks for being so cool about the party. maybe nance and i can introduce you to heather, she’s super nice and i think she likes you!”

billy forced an easy smile on his face while he looked at steve, “sure, t, that would be nice,”

then steve left and billy waited until he got into the house before driving off like a bat outta hell.

he didn’t go straight home. he went to the gas station, filled up the tank, bought three packs of cigarettes, and a candy bar before driving around for the remainder of the night, until about 12.

steve never listened anymore.

in the car, billy had been talking about how he had found a second job at the pool and his coworker, heather, was really sweet.

then steve brings her up at the end of the night like he came up with her out of nowhere? did he not listen to a word billy had said all night?

and nancy. nancy prissy-motherfucker wheeler.

who does she think she is? ramming her way into their group, pretending to be all shy and sweet and cutesy when she just wants steve.

and the way she thinks she’s better than everyone because she’s taking next-grade level clases.

well guess what, wheeler, so am i!! you’re nothing special!!

as billy finished off the last cigarette of the second pack, he reached into the passenger seat to grab for the third pack when he realized how shaky his hands were.

glancing around the car, he noted that it was 11:45, three and a half hours since he’d left steve’s house. and he was going 94 on a shady backroad.

billy loved the feel of speeding, but knew his mother would whip his ass if he did.

rather than open a new pack, billy decreased his speed (to 70, but it was better than 100) and started driving home.

he rolled all the windows down completely, hopefully getting some of the smell out.

when he’d pulled into his driveway, his mom was standing on the porch, trying to shove the key into the lock while balancing her purse, diner leftovers, and another bag in her arms.

billy quickly got out of the car, leaving the pack of cigarettes in there and grabbing the candy bar before walking up the steps and taking the takeout boxes out of her hands.

“thank you, sweet boy,” she smiled as she finally got the key in the lock

they walked into the house quietly, setting all of their stuff down.

billy discarded his jacket in the coat closet while she had gone to change out of her diner uniform into comfy pajamas.

billy moved to the kitchen to take plates and cups down, setting them on the dining table suit for three people, maximum.

he opened the take out boxes and moved each of their dinners onto plates before filling the glasses with ice and water.

“thank you, baby,”

she pecked him on the forehead as he sat down at the table, then took her normal seat and began eating.

“how was your day?”

“better than yours,”

billy’s face scrunched up a little at her comment as she took a bite of her burger.

“you still smell like smoke, plus you were meeting with steve at 6, so you’ve been out for quite a while...”

“it’s nothing to worry about,” billy kept holding his burger rather than take a bite out of it, the smoking having ruined his appetite.

“billy,”

“promise, it’s nothing to worry about,”

“alright. don’t you both have that party friday?”

“why does everyone care about this stupid party!?” billy said, louder than he meant to.

“who’s ‘everyone’?”

“nobody, mom,”

“oooh, you’re all grumpy, calling me ‘mom’ and shit. why don’t you check the attitude by tomorrow morning, mkay?”

billy nodded and took a bite of his food, “sorry,”

“it’s alright, but you can’t get angry at me for something i didn’t do, billy,”

billy nodded and she got up to clear her finished plate, rinsing it then coming back to where billy was still eating.

she held his face gently in her hands and placed a long kiss on his forehead, “try to get a good nights sleep, hon,”

she walked to the back of the house, where her bedroom was, and shut the door, leaving billy with most of his dinner still on his plate and heaviness in his heart.

billy made it through the rest of the school week. the weather was warming up, nearing the end of the school year, and the days were pretty easy.

but he was avoiding steve. well, really, he was avoiding the priss, and since she was always with steve, he was avoiding him by default.

and it didn’t feel any better avoiding steve when every time he did see him, he was holding flowers for her, or picking her up from behind, or talking real close to her face all sweet.

the worst part was that steve didn’t seem all to fazed by not seeing billy those four days.

and it hurt. it hurt that, apparently, steve meant more to billy than billy meant to steve. it hurt that the priss could replace billy so quickly.

and so billy was getting agitated. his mom kept working late shifts and billy was working on training for his lifeguard job and homework and it all felt like too much was going on and he didn’t have steve there to distract him.

so, by complete accident, he got into a fight. a big one. with a senior.

for a junior, billy could probably pass as an actual adult, and had the muscles and fighting skills to prove it.

the senior wasn’t too far off either, though.

billy got knocked into (by accident) in the hall while he was watching steve and the priss and just... snapped.

he and the boy were both losers of the fight, neither looking better than the other and neither having been declared winner. plus, they were both marched off to the principals office at the end of the day.

billy, out of the corner of his eye, saw steve watching him get marched off to the front offices, but didn’t care to look and see his face.

more so, the disappointment that would be there. steve hated when he got angry and fought. he hadn’t gotten into a fight since freshman year, so what happened now?

billy’s mom, having been called in from work, seemed as if she was on fire when she came into the building.

she was a taller woman, had broad shoulders and a glare that rivaled billy’s. in short, she was intimidating as fuck (even in her cute 50s work uniform)

billy couldn’t look her in the eye.

after they’d finished with the principal (two day suspension for both boys), billy and his mom walked out to his car.

“where’d you park?” billy grumbled.

“i had christopher drop me off so i could make sure that you would be going straight home after this,”

they made it to the blue camaro, both standing on the drivers side door.

“mom—“

“keys!” she held her hand out and billy stared at her, “now!”

he fumbled in his jean jacket pocket before handing her the keys, walking around to the passenger door and getting in.

they drove the speed limit the whole way home, not talking and not listening to music. just the rumble of the engine as they sat in silence, both seething with different types of anger.

they pulled up to the house, both getting out and going to the door, unlocking it and billy tried storming off to his room before he was called back.

“what!”

“first of all, loose the ‘tude,” she gestured for him to sit on the couch as she walked back and forth in front of the coffee table. “second of all, no party friday.

“now, what the hell is wrong with you? huh? i didn’t raise you to punch a kid for accidentally bumping you in the hall and i most definitely never taught you to talk back to me!

“i get it, billy. we all have bad days or weeks or whatever but we don’t scream at other people or start fights because we feel angry! do you understand that?”

“yes, ma’am,”

“now, why don’t you tell me why you’ve been all ‘hormonal teenager’ for the past week. well, the past month you’ve been weird, so start from the beginning,”

billy took a few deep breaths, “mom, i really don’t wanna—“

“no, we’re gonna talk. i took the whole day off work so we could fix this, so we are gonna talk and we are gonna figure this out, because you’re not you, billy. you are sweet and smiley and funny and you’ve been a little shit recently,”

billy smiled a little bit at his moms crude language, something most parents would frown upon.

“i’m pretty sure that steve and i aren’t really friends anymore. not like we used to be, at least,” billy scrunched up his nose, a tell that meant he was pretending he wasn’t about to start crying.

“why do you think that? you and steve are inseparable, have been since the day you met,”

“he got a girlfriend,” billy was staring just over his mom’s head, pretending he was looking at her. “and he hasn’t been...”

“hasn’t been what?”

he rolls his eyes, “i’m gonna sound like an asshole,”

“you are a little asshole, just say it,”

“he doesn’t pay attention to me anymore. all he talks about is the priss and how their relationship is going. i love him, mom, you know i do, but i can’t hear another word about her! i hate her!”

“why? is she mean to steve?”

“not mean mean, but, like, i talked to some of the guys we hang out with and they think steve’s been weird recently too. he doesn’t do anything without her and he’s different. i can’t explain it, he’s just not the same steve,”

“billy, it’s his first love, he’s gonna be all sappy for her and forget about his friends, it’s just how it is most of the time,”

“no! it’s not ‘just how it is’ because steve and i aren’t just friends, we’re closer and she’s just pulling him away! he doesn’t even care that she is!”

“billy,”

“you don’t understand!”

“i do, i get it completely, but you’re teenagers and you’re gonna get upset. i’m surprised you and steve have made it this far without having a big fight yet,”

“but we aren’t supposed to have big fights! he’s supposed to listen to me and i’m supposed to listen to him! we get each other and he knows me better than anyone! he’s not like my other friends, he’s—he’s steve—and i can’t loose him, mom,

“he was the first kid i really got to hang out with when you kicked dad out, and he helped me through that. we’re close! i can’t just lose him now, after everything!”

“billy, baby,” he looked up to her, teary eyes and all, “what are you really thinking about right now?”

“i think... i think i like steve, like, i like like steve,”

“i know, baby,”

billy’s head shot up to look at her eyes, “you—“

“billy, you’ve loved steve since the day you met, it’s harder not to notice,”

billy starts breathing deeper then, and his mom moves to sit on the couch, pulling him into her chest as she plays with his hair while he cries quietly about losing his best friend and crush.

“it hurts so bad, momma,”

she shushes his broken voice and continues to play with his hair, “i know, baby, i know,” she tears up along with him.

they stay like that until the school day ends, then when the sun goes down.

billy ends up falling asleep on the couch that night. she gets up to get the knitted blanket off of an adjacent chair and drapes it over his body, not being able to cover all of his legs, but staying there with him all night.

it was hard, as a mother, to watch her son break into so many little pieces. but it was even harder when she almost felt her heart break with his.

she knew steve, knew he would make whoever he ended up with a very, very happy person. he was sweet and went out of his way to make others happy.

and a selfish part of her really wanted steve to end up with her billy, for him to be treated right by the only person he’s been in love with. the person who he’d unintentionally pined after for years.

she just wanted to see her boys happy.

[kuronanox]

I can’t let go-Nozel

(Authors note: This may be angst or maybe not haha I've been in the mood! Also I've been a huge ass simp for Fuegoleon and Nozel! Help I can't like them both)

"I can't stand the sight of commoners talking to royals like it's their business." Nozel sneers in disgust as him, Fuegoleon and (Your Name) stood all side by side and watched the party go on in the ballroom.

"I'm basically a commoner!" (Your Name) tells Nozel with a grin as he rolled his eyes. She wore a regal dark green dress and her hair was curled elegantly. The shining gold around her neck and ears. She was definitely royalty to him.

"Adopted into royalty." He said in a matter of fact. "So it makes you royal." He adds ignoring the way she looked at him with amusement.

"You just won't admit you like a good for nothing commoner like me!" She stuck her tongue out and joined some of them into the dance floor.

"Always so harsh on your words." Fuegoleon chuckles as he watches the young teenage girl dance with some squad members.

Nozel shrugs as his braid moved along side with it. The two teens watched for a moment of silence before Fuegoleon broke the silence.

"I've been meaning to tell her about my feelings."

Nozel froze in his spot, his rival was interested in (Your Name). "Why does that matter to me." He plays it off and knits his brows growing bitter after each minute passes.

"I was just going to ask how you felt since she is technically a commoner... not that it matters to me." Fuegoleon adds with a smile of warmth staring at her as she smiled back at him with a grin and she slightly lost balanced but laughed it off.

Nozel felt jealous of how fond they were together. "I don't care what you do in your love life. It doesn't concern me."

Nozel was staring into space as he heard a knock on his office door. "Come in."

"Im sorry I needed advice." The Crimson Lion Captain says in a rush as he took a seat across from the desk. Fuegoleon looked as if he was sweating a ton and he didn't sleep that night.

"What is it?" Nozel sighs and signs off some papers he still hadn't finished.

"(Your Name) is back and I don't know what to do! I mean we've been together since we were 18 but I want to celebrate it! She's coming home after so many years!"

Nozel clutched his knees a bit and let go before rolling his eyes. "She should stay in that nonsense village and go live with those commoners she helps all the time." He adds with malice and a coldness that lingered in his heart.

Fuegoleon was silent before taking his leave. "I don't know why you are so bitter about her? Has she done you wrong in some way?"

"No." Nozel states and looks back up to his rival. "Many has done me wrong but I won't say to what it is... Now! I have a lot of paper work so if you wish to talk more nonsense to me I suggest to go to someone else."

"Well ...you are always welcome to visit her when she gets back." Fuegoleon invites Nozel before taking a leave.

"Nozel! Guess what?!" She cheerfully says to him as they walked around the kingdom doing small task for their captains.

"What is it?"

"Me and Fuegoleon are dating!"

He doesn't say a word and continues to walk, what could he say? Congratulations? I'm so happy for you? No he couldn't because that's not how he felt. As much as he despite the relationship he could never stoop so low to tell her how he felt now. It was to late.

"Are you happy?"

"Always!"

(Your Name) smelt the air of the Clover Kingdom and sighed in happiness. She was glad to be home again after being away for so long. After helping the less unfortunate and other villages she decided it was time to head home and be with the ones she loved.

Walking into the entrance of the the Crimson Lion base she spotted her favorite person in the world waiting with open arms.

She grinned as Fuegoleon looked back at her with longing eyes. She dropped her bags running towards his embrace. "I've missed you." (Your Name) whispers into his neck as he kissed her head. "I've missed you too love."

"It's been to long, I can't believe we lasted this long." She exclaimed as he picked up her bags from the floor. "I never doubted us." He tells her with a wink as they walked linked together into the base.

"(Your Name)!" Leopold yells running towards her with full speed and gives her a bear hug. She laughs and hugs the boy back. "You've grown little one!"

"Of course! I can't wait to show you how strong I've been!"

"I can't wait!" She says to him as he jumps excitingly like a little kid again. "Where's Mereoleona?" She adds.

"She wanted to come see you but you know she's doing Mereoleona things right now." Fuegoleon says slyly as they settled in.

Nozel frowned as he looked up to the Crimson Lion base. He really didn't want to see them together being all lovely dovey yet he missed her dearly. He was cold to her at times but he didn't know how to show he cared.

He wasn't surprised to see there was a spot saved for him at the table. They were close friends for a long time till she left to help the villages.

"Nozel!" She yells with excitement in her eyes as she rushed towards him and gave him a big hug. "I didn't know if you would show up!"

"Of course, I had to see this stupid girl after so many years away." He warmly smiled at her as she held his hands and grinned before showing him to his spot.

"I'm glad you came. She was asking for you." Fuegoleon tells Nozel with a happy smile. It was as if they were teenagers again.

"She really asked for me." He thought sadly with a warm feeling.

"I wrote letters but you never got back to me." She says as the banquet continued.

He hesitantly tried to say something before he made up a lie quickly. "I'm sorry, I don't think I ever got them."

It happened at the young age of 24 Nozel was starting to get tired of his endless emotions he felt for (Your Name). He was on a night walk to clear his thoughts when he heard familiar giggles from ahead of him.

"Stop! Someone might see us!" She tells Fuegoleon as he shakes his head, chuckles and grabs her waist to pull her closer. "Shh no one will, stop screaming then." He says as she gives him a small smirk.

"I didn't think Mr.Serious could loosen up a bit."

"Stop teasing." He blushes and kisses her cheek.

Nozel was fuming with anger as he watched the two interrupt his thoughts. He wanted to escape the two only to find them acting like children.

"Let's go home and finish this then." She tells Fuegoleon and he pouts a bit wanting to see the beautiful sky that night. Ignoring her statement he pulls her into a passionate kiss to which she returns before he nods and guides her back.

"Insufferable." Nozel says bitterly as he makes way back home with a heavy heart.

"Are you okay? You've been tightly holding your fork for a while." She calmly guides him back to reality. Nozel clears his throat and continues to eat. "I'm fine, I was just thinking about a new method to train my squad."

"Well me and Fuegoleon have exciting news! We might be trying for some kids now!"

"I get Nieces and Nephews! Woohoo I'm going to be the coolest uncle!" Leopold cheers as some fire comes off of him from excitement. "How many how many?!" He begged to know.

"As much as (Your Name) will let me have." Fuegoleon respectfully says giving her hand a light squeeze as she returned the favor.

Nozel stayed silent the whole time trying hard to be happy but nothing was working. "I just forgot I have to be up early tomorrow, I will take my leave. I give you my early congratulations." He says and walks off.

"I'll see you off." Fuegoleon says and walks side by side with Nozel. There was silence between the two and it was getting uncomfortable for the both of them to break it. "Why did you lie to her?"

"I didn't lie." Nozel grits his teeth and looks forward.

"I saw her letters on your desk before."

"Why do you care so much. We are adults now, I chose who I wish to contact." Nozel says sighing in expiratation.

"I only wish you told me how you felt about her before we got together." The older man says with guilty eyes. "I would never wish you pain even though you are my rival."

"I know you knew, I didn't think you'd bring it up."

Fuegoleon stops walking ahead and watches as Nozel silhouette disappears through the night. He truly never meant to hurt his friend and companion.

Dear Nozel,

It's been so long, I'm not sure if you have gotten my letters but I reassure you that when I get back things will go back to as when we were kids! I can't wait to go on adventures with everyone again unless I plan other things back home. The village side is beautiful, I only wished you could see it too. The grass is so green and the air is so fresh compared to the kingdom. I hope you've found someone by now, a girl that can handle that attitude of yours! Hmph I know you will make her the happiest she's ever been. Over protective, cold but caring and kind. The greatest treasure someone could have would be you Nozel. Lighten up a bit and let go. I'll see you soon.

Nozel sits on his desk reading all the letter she's ever sent him and sorrowfully burns them in his fire place. Her heart was too connected to another to see how much Nozel wanted her.

Maybe he could find someone, but you don't find love you just fall into it.

(Authors note: Angst? Also please leave some characters you would like me to write!)

[curedigiqueen]

This year I spontaneously watched Appmon nearly 2 times, and I have thoughts about it. And what better way to acknowledge it than on its 5th Anniversary. (Or 4th anniversary of Our Singularity). I'm planning on at least covering my thoughts on the main 5 kids this month, in an order based 100% on who I want to talk about first.

It's Astra.

I think Astra is generally the least liked Appmon character, or perhaps more accurately, is the character I see the most disdain for. And, honestly, I can understand where it comes from. But he’s my favorite Appmon character actually. In a cast with a non-conventional protagonist, a blackbelt idol, and a hacker, Astra’s “Apptube” is well, just kind of there. Like a more modern version of Eri’s idol career. His personality is clearly meant to be representative of the target audience, the group whose number one career aspiration is Youtuber. So, he’s kind of cringy and kind of annoying, especially to an adult audience. I get it. But Astra’s a character I found to have a lot of stuff going on.

I admittedly tend to have a soft spot for the babies of any team, especially if they are assertive enough to keep up with their seniors. And Astra does fit the bill. He’s generally seen to be on equal footing with the others, and his rather aggressive way of talking to the other doesn’t exactly make you think baby of the team. He doesn’t use honorifics, and in general Astra’s referred to in the same terms as Haru and Rei. (As near as I can tell, anyway with my nonexistent Japanese skills, correct me if I’m wrong). The fact he’s in elementary school is a bit more incidental than anything.

We learn the most about Astra’s family and upbringing compared to the other characters, and it is central to his arc. We get a lot of information straightforwardly in the show. He had a lot of pressure on him as the heir to the school, and felt pressured to act the part of the perfect heir. Throughout the show we see him struggle with the pressure of being the heir. As a child he was extremely dedicated to following his father's footsteps. He didn’t seem to see himself as anything other than the heir to his father's school. He seemed set apart from other children, seemingly due to the closed-off way he acted. This dedication to being a good heir was to the detriment of his happiness. Until Musimon came into his life allowing him to loosen up and seek his own happiness. Classic stuff. But Astra is a little more at war with himself than may be obvious by his “annoying” attitude.

While we first learn about Astra suppressing his own eccentricities, in his debut episodes, it’s not until later that we learn about his mother, and learn that this side of his personality didn’t come out of nowhere. His mother is very similar to him, which gives us the question of why he ever became so disciplined in the first place if his behavior isn't out of place in his family, and his mother is a strong advocate for him doing his own thing. In fact, Astra seemed initially a bit embarrassed by his mother when he introduced her to the other Appdrivers. Of course this is almost certainly because his mother calling his friend “pretty” and gushing about her husband and how they met is embarrassing, and even if Astra himself acts just as obnoxious. But even so, he's clearly less respectful towards her. The reasons behind why Astra calls his mother by her first name are unclear, though it doesn't seem to stem from a lack of love for his mother.

But regardless, it helps build the idea that more likely, he was trying to win the approval of people outside his immediate family. After all, as shown in episode 7, it was the assumption that Astra would inherit the school by others that prompted Astra’s response to his father. Even if Astra’s father does have a desire for Astra to inherit his position, he also understands that it's first and foremost Astra’s life to live. Astra however does have a lot of respect for his father and seems to value his opinion immensely, he recognizes that not inheriting the school would be disappointing to his father and does not want to disappoint him. So while I think there is something to be said for Astra’s behavior relating to a desire to impress his father, I don’t personally think it's the origin in its entirety.

Astra over the course of the series is very independent and marches to his own beat, Astra, like Eri, had made the first step to change prior to his introduction, but that doesn’t mean he was already completely different from the boy who acted stiff to prove himself to others. Astra’s second episode deals with him succumbing to peer pressure in his new activity, and his final episode is about not succumbing to his uncle's expectations, the old expectations that kept him down for so long. (But it's also a bit about fulfilling Hinarin’s expectations, expectations he agreed to).

Despite Apptubing being the career choice where Astra does as he pleases, his final episode isn’t about him Apptubing because he wants to but as a way to help someone else. Particularly his cousin. While it isn’t explicitly clear if Astra knows it’s his cousin the fact of the matter is that he’s helping his family through his Apptubing, even if it is something he picked up for himself. (A reasoning perhaps parallels Eri’s reasons for being an idol, wanting to bring smiles to her mom, despite it clearly being something she herself enjoys). His care for his family is exactly the reason he continues to train to be the heir, but that doesn’t mean even if he doesn’t uphold expectations that he can’t be a help to his family.

Astra’s arc deals with expectations vs. a desire to help. Astra in large part is assertive about not having to help other people out and doing his own thing, recognizing he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to. But his actions consistently betray his care for others. I think this is most evident in the way Astra acted as if he wasn’t going to help Eri out with her elections, but did so anyway, even if he antagonized her a bit in the process, but ended up being the proudest of her accomplishments. Not to mention the way he continues to train as the heir, albeit on his own terms. Over the course of the series, he becomes more open with his care towards others, culminating in the jailbreak episode, but he’s always been shown to care. He’s finding that balance between living his own life and helping others.

It’s clear that Astra doesn’t hate being heir at least. He’s extremely determined to do both. And personally, I think it’s very possible that he sees Apptubing as a hobby. He after all proposed the half-hour limit himself. Even at the beginning with his most abrasive. He dutifully kept it to a relatively small impact on his life. For all that it’s brought up as an important element in his life, and he is shown breaking his own rule on occasion without consequence. One of the longest times we see him Apptubing is when he’s helping Eri out. Of course on the flip side of that, we have episode 8 where he breaks the rule because his videos aren't doing as well as he likes, but that's definitely tying back to his desire for people's approval. While he is for lack of a better word, tempted into giving up training to be an iemoto to dedicate himself to Apptubing, it isn’t something he seems to seriously consider at all.

The biggest thing Musimon gave him was not the courage to be an Apptuber, but the courage to be himself. Indulging in Apptubing for fun is merely a small part of that. Astra is still the good heir, but he is no longer letting that define his entire life, sometimes forgoing certain parts of training. But that doesn’t mean that tea ceremony is a bad part of his life. There’s also a certain balance in his personality between the abrasive “annoying” boy at the start of the series and the passive boy prior to the show's beginning. I don’t feel that the polite Astra is completely disingenuous. Astra is capable of acting calm and grounded, and this side of himself becomes more apparent as the series goes on, particularly with Eri who, in contrast to him, throws herself into her idol career with more and more genuine passion. When he supports Eri with his videos but asks her to take a break, which tracks with what we know about his fathers working habits. It’s his final focus episode where he is shown to be acting, more in someone else's interest, and even shown to be a bit embarrassed by it. In contrast to an Astra who even in episode 19, was not taking much seriously. I think it’s only fair to say Astra did genuinely inherit some of his father's more grounded and dutiful nature.

And while earlier I did say Astra’s age feels incidental, I don’t think that is to say it has no bearing on his role in the story. It's part of the reason Eri is so dismissive of him at first, Sure, the other’s treat him as equal, and are in no way particularly protective of him, nor do they expect him to be any less capable than him. But this isn’t to say Astra’s relative youthfulness isn’t apparent when with the others at least in the beginning. Astra is definitely on the more immature side of things, he after all is the one who started the rivalry with Eri because his ego was bruised (not that Eri's initial dismissal of him was helping matters any). As I said earlier, Astra mellowed as the show progressed and I think it’s a fair assumption to say he’d continue to do so. Not that he’ll lose his energy, but that he’ll be able to act with more maturity and consideration for others. The most common complaint about him I’ve heard is “annoying”, which is understandable. But that’s not accidental, even in-universe (hah), others seem to find him to be a bit much at first at the beginning of the series. His “annoying” personality is him testing the waters beyond the role of dutiful heir he’s always played. He’s annoying because he’s an 11-year-old boy who does not always know how to act in ways appropriate to his situation. He’s the kid of the group. I do understand if that still makes watching irritating. Watching should be fun after all, but it’s more of a matter of opinion than an objective flaw.

Unlike Gatchmon, Offmon, and Dokamon whose personalities seem to clash a bit with their buddies, Musimon and Astra are consistently on the same page, after episode 8. This is exemplified in episode 29, where Musimon runs away for fun rather than because he wants something from Astra, and Astra is the only partner who seems to have not been worried, recognizing what Musimon was doing. Of course, their fight in episode 8 was about Astra not being true to himself, thus naturally conflicting with the one who is on the same page as his true self. Musimon shares Astra’s high energy but caring nature. I’m not an expert on the Japanese language by any means, but there is something notable about the fact Musimon uses “Boku” to Astra’s usual “Ore”. Musimon and Astra are without a doubt very similar, the only difference in their demeanors being Musimon is perhaps a bit less confrontational. If Musimon being Astra’s buddy says anything about Astra, it’s probably that Astra is by his nature not quite as aggressive as he seems. Which for someone who clearly used to takes people's opinions of him to heart, seems about right.

Astra’s arc is all about expectations, expectations as an Apptuber, and as the heir. Astra living up to, or disregarding expectations based on what he believes is best. Living the life he wants to live.

Some final observations from me in regards to Astra, is that he’s paired with Fakemon for God Grade. While it’s probably in part just how things worked out logistically, it also makes a bit of sense as a foil. Fakemon is constantly being disingenuous, while a huge part of Astra’s arc is being true to himself, while also fulfilling other people's expectations of him. Also of note, Entermon is described as a Digimon who exists wherever you can find culture something that is particularly relevant to Astra.

While being biracial is not directly important to the story, it’s not incidental and clearly is thematically related to him being trapped between the traditional and the modern Japan. While in story Astra’s story is simply about outside expectations of inheritance, It’s possible to read Astra prior to the series as trying to overcompensate for his foreign mother in the eyes of the people at his father’s school. This is something I find notable considering that Appmon’s assistant producer, Akari Yanagawa, went on to become the producer of 2019’s Star Twinkle Precure, a season of Precure notable for the franchise's 2nd biracial cure, whose personal arc more obviously alluded to racism than Astra's, though still very indirectly.

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Okay, what are your thoughts on Ian's relationships? With his family, his boyfriends, and Mandy (since I think that's the only friend he's had)

Oh, no. Ohhhhhhhh, no. Now you’ve done it. You’ve asked about my dear, darling favorite character on the show. My love for one Ian Gallagher runs deep, which means this answer is going to run super long. The good, the bad, and everything in between—Ian Gallagher lives rent free in my brain and always will. I derive so much satisfaction from seeing Ian interact with other people, in whatever capacity that might be. I admire and aspire to the compassion he has shown for others over the years, even and perhaps most especially those who arguably haven’t earned it. He tries so hard to be good to people, and seeing their love for him manifest when he’s reached such lows where he can’t even fathom why the love of his life would want to be with him forever? That’s powerful.

So, yeah. I said I could write essays on these characters, and that’s exactly what you’re about to get: five hours and 6k words’ worth of my thoughts. (I am so sorry. There will be text walls.)

Let’s dive into Ian’s many and multifaceted relationships—his family, his friends, and his romantic pursuits.

Ian and Family

Ian told us where he stood on this in the very first season, and it set the standard for his character for eleven years to come. Faced with a prospect that others in his position could only dream of—not being Frank’s son and having a wealthy father with a functional, prosperous lifestyle mere miles away—Ian refused to buy into it. He refused to do what might have been objectively better for his future by seeking a relationship with Clayton. In that household, he would have had access to a better public school, more financial resources, a tutor to help him where he was struggling, and less urgency for him to work so that he could enjoy being a kid. When he got sick, he would have had access to better healthcare, too. Perhaps he would have had a better shot at West Point from that background than he did at home. But that’s just it: home was with his family, and he was very clear that they didn’t live in that nice house. All he wanted—all he wanted—was to be with his brothers and sisters. He has never referred to them as only half-siblings or half-cousins; he has never even used the words, “you’re not my dad,” on Frank. That’s his family, the people he loves most in the world, and he’s always been at his best when he’s with them and at his worst when he’s not. Let’s look at each of them:

1.      Frank: It is so striking to me that Ian doesn’t appear to hold the outright contempt for Frank that Fiona, Lip, and Debbie have exhibited at different points over the years. Aside from the handful of instances where they’ve gotten into physical altercations (which Frank always initiated) and kicking him out of the house on occasion, Ian is simply indifferent to him. But there are these moments, these brief glimmers of mutual attachment and loyalty, if those are the right words. In the scene where Ian famously doesn’t count to three before using the pepper spray on him, Frank starts saying how his New Gallaghers weren’t his real kids—that Ian is his real son, and Frank is his real father. It’s a passing thought uttered while trying to manipulate his way into the house that neither of them think much of, nor does the audience…until you remember that biologically, Frank isn’t his father, and he certainly hasn’t behaved like one either. Ian has more right than anyone to comment on that, but he doesn’t because Frank is his father. He’s the father that Ian idly hoped wouldn’t come to his wedding yet sat joking about with Debbie rather than getting pissed off that he was making out with some lady in front of everyone. He’s the father who sat at the table with them eating breakfast in 11x03 and claimed Mickey was the man in their relationship without Ian saying a word to him about it, and who Ian saw no issue with taking Franny to school when no one else could. In s4, as far removed from his family as he’d been for a while, Ian still went straight to the hospital when he heard that Frank was at death’s door. We focus so much on his attitude towards Monica because of how obvious it was that we frequently miss these tiny moments and their implications. It would take an awful lot of patience, compassion, and love not to write Frank off completely after all he’s done. Not necessarily our standard definition of love between a son and his father, perhaps, but a loving soul.

2.      Monica: I have actually written a pretty lengthy post about his relationship with her because while their shared mental illness definitely plays a role in his feelings toward her, that grew complicated far earlier than his diagnosis. The first time we meet her, we see that he has a visceral reaction to news of her presence. He runs. When Ian can’t process strong emotions, that’s what he’s done in the past. I happened upon an interview Cameron did just after the end of s1 where he mentioned something I had already been thinking: Ian’s age when Monica left is extremely important. He was a kid in s1, but one who could roll with the punches, sometimes literally. She left them two years before that. Ian would have been in middle school, roughly as old as Debbie was when she still called Frank “daddy” and forgave him for everything he did. It’s an awkward age that once again set Ian in something of a danger zone—too old to accept an excuse or no explanation at all, but not old enough to process the situation in a healthy way. And then she’s back all of a sudden with no warning. Ian doesn’t cry like Debbie, and he doesn’t typically get explosively angry like Fiona. He can’t deal, so he runs. He hangs back. He only speaks when he has to and compartmentalizes: Monica wants to take Liam, and they need to stop her. It doesn’t have to be about her leaving. They have a goal—he can focus on that. And then she’s back a year later, saying she’s here to stay while Fiona seems to take her at her word and Lip isn’t there to ground everyone. Ian tries so hard to behave like Lip would with his biting sarcasm and attempts to stay emotionally distant in a way that seemed pretty exaggerated for Ian, but he’s also dealing with a fresh wave of guilt over Mickey going to juvie—and Monica gets it. She’s the only person to acknowledge that he’s in pain and actively try to make it better. She’s the only one who really knows at the time, but that hardly matters. This poor kid, whose mother left him when he still needed her, has her standing in front of him and saying she’s sorry and listening when he speaks and taking him dancing—just the two of them. Embarrassing as it was and harmful as it could have been, she tried to facilitate his dreams when no one else wanted him to go into the military. She was there for him when he went AWOL. She came for him when he was arrested and even wanted to make a place for him in her new life, unrealistic as it was. This goes so much deeper than them both being bipolar. Ian’s comment about her parachuting into their lives in s7 wasn’t about Mickey or her role in them breaking up. He trusted her. He wanted her. He needed her. And she’d convinced him that she would be there—until she left. Over and over again. She was there for him and unintentionally took advantage of how desperately he still needed his mother. She made him keep loving her, and that’s both a blessing that has him crying into a voluminous man’s arms when she passes and a curse that wrecked him more than once.

3.      Fiona: The trust these two have for each other cannot be understated. Fiona has discussed things with Ian that she never brought up around any of the other kids throughout the entire series. In the pilot episode, she tells him about feeling needed and takes his opinion on the matter to heart. At the end of the season, he’s the one she talks to about the car because she can trust him to give her an answer even without speaking. In s2, she tells Lip that the two of them are her rocks, and we see that time and time again. That’s part of what makes their falling out over the church hit that much harder: it’s Ian and Fiona. The only time they’d been on the outs in any serious manner up to that point was when Ian was adjusting to his new reality and they were trying to find a balance between sister and caretaker. Otherwise, that bond of trust had never been severed—not until Ian literally sold himself only for it to amount to nothing in the end because she had no idea the lengths to which he’d gone to get that building. That damage gets mended, thankfully, but what a powerful period of time when those two were the only ones who’d never really been at each other’s throats. There is a downside to that trust, though. As I mentioned before, Ian was so responsible and put together when he was younger that Fiona didn’t think twice about his situation with Ned or that he ran away. Not even seventeen yet, and she was telling Debbie that she didn’t like his decision to leave but trusted him. That is one of the things I love about this show—even something like trust that we always prop up as an important factor in our relationships can betray us in the most unexpected ways.

4.      Lip: I won’t go into it here, but the relationship they share is something that means a lot to me on a personal level. It’s part of how I knew that Ian would become my favorite character pretty early on. The way he simultaneously admires and envies Lip, loves and is annoyed by him, relies on him and is desperate to pave his own path in the world—what a beautiful and accurate depiction of what it means to be a younger sibling. Lip is the first person to discover that he’s gay and openly accept him for it. (I think what he tried with Karen came from a well-meaning place even if it was horribly, horribly misguided.) Lip is the one who tries to get him into West Point, hate it as he does. He helps Ian when Terry is after him, takes care of him in the aftermath of the wedding when he realizes just how deeply Ian feels for Mickey, searches the whole damn city for him when he finds out that Ian is in trouble, gets him a job, leans on him in his own time of need… He’s not perfect. He slips up, just like Ian does. Some things break my heart, like Lip insisting that he’s earned his own space when his little brother is asking him for safe harbor or Ian thanking him for being his brother outside the prison. But they love each other so much, and I just… I can’t possibly put into words how much I love their dynamic.

5.      Debbie, Carl, and Liam: I’m grouping these three together because they’re further separated from Ian in age, so we see a lot of the same trends with them as a whole. Ian loves taking care of people. We know this. We also know that Fiona and Lip don’t typically want him taking care of them—they’re the ones who take care of him when he needs it, specifically Lip. With the younger three, however, Ian can be the Big Brother. He can shake his head in utter bafflement at Debbie’s obsession with holding her breath for two minutes, walk Carl through what he needs to go camping, and promise his baby brother postcards when he leaves. The difference here is that his relationship with them is so much less fraught with conflict. We don’t see him fight with Debbie, Carl, or Liam the way he has with Fiona or Lip. While Ian tends to be the voice of reason during conflicts overall, I think it’s also because he relies on his older siblings in a way that he doesn’t with his younger siblings, and the latter don’t tend to rely on him as much as Fiona or Lip as well. There’s a lack of tension in most of their interactions growing up because that pressure isn’t there. Perhaps this is where Ian’s age and standing in the family is a bit more beneficial: young enough to have people he can rely on while too young for anyone to really rely on him for more than his share of the squirrel fund.

Ian and Friends

I’ve seen it mentioned that Ian (and Mickey) not having more friends is bad or lazy writing. I tend to believe that that fails to take something into account that, admittedly, most of us don’t really have to think about: having friends is a luxury. It requires time and effort to cultivate friendships, especially lasting ones. As a kid, Ian spent a lot of his free time working or helping to manage one family crisis after another. Going AWOL, losing his health, struggling to acclimate to his illness, trying to find a new career path, spiraling into the Gay Jesus movement, going to prison, adjusting once again to normal life, getting married, a pandemic… I’m sure he’s had plenty of acquaintances over the years, but having a family to support and constant upheavals would have made it extremely difficult to really forge strong relationships with them. I think that’s part of what makes his relationship with Mandy so special and valuable to him: she’s sort of the same way.

When we met Mandy in s1, she had other friends. We saw her meet up with them and go shopping; she told Ian a story about how one was mad at her for not sharing her make-up. As the trauma in the Milkovich household reached its zenith for her in s2 and she started thinking seriously about getting out of there, we saw those friends fall by the wayside—all except Ian. He saw her and let her see him early on. That’s a level of trust and respect that nobody else in their neighborhood would have displayed, certainly not to her. But then there’s this guy who defended her against their creepy, perverted teacher and treated her like a human being, not an object. It’s no wonder she developed an obvious, unrequited crush and sought physical comfort from him occasionally. It’s no wonder she tried to repay the favor by giving Mickey a hard time in s3 and s4, misguided and rather uninformed as we know it was at the time. (It’s also no wonder that she went for the closest Gallagher to Ian, either, but that’s for another meta.)

And Ian… Ian is loyal to a fault. We have watched Ian cut out his own heart and let the blood drip down his arm to pool on the floor at his feet if it would make a damn bit of difference for the people he loves. Like Fiona and Lip, Mandy immediately accepted him for who he is and suggested an arrangement that would protect him as well as benefit her. That is enormous where they came from. To him, that had to feel like the ultimate sign of friendship: he could trust her with a part of him that he hadn’t even entrusted to most of his family yet. From that point on, she was on the List of People Ian Gallagher Would Do Anything For. Finding out about Terry and what had happened? He held a bake sale, of all things, to fundraise for her. Seeing that his brother—his best friend—was treating her like garbage? He put him in his place. Her boyfriend was beating her? He brought her home and made it his goal to find a safe place for her to stay, even if it ultimately didn’t work. She was going to move away from all of her meager support with that boyfriend? He didn’t just rally his own arguments—he brought in outside help with Lip, who he thought might tip the scales. It’s usually just a saying that true friends will help each other hide a body, but Ian literally tried to do that. Lucky for him, he has a good head on his shoulders and used it.

No, Ian doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. We’ve seen that he has spheres of influence, if you will, and acquaintances that he can call upon when he needs them. (For example, the guys that helped with the preacher.) However, Ian has always struck me as a “quality over quantity” type of person. Being a soldier or an EMT isn’t lucrative, but they’re meaningful for someone who sees them as vehicles for helping people. Seeing more parts of the world than just Chicago has appealed to him in the past, but he seems perfectly content to carve out a spot for himself right here at home. Having only three best friends—Lip, Mandy, and Mickey—doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for him.

Ian and Romantic Pursuits

I hate to say that there were five, but from Ian’s perspective, there were. So, let’s talk about all five. Even though…there weren’t five. There was only one. We’ll save the best for last.

1.      Kash: The first of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. I hope it goes without saying that I hate this man with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate him so much. However, their interactions taught me a whole lot about how kind and compassionate Ian really is—and how naïve. Of course, he would believe that Kash loved him. The man was buying him all sorts of expensive gifts, and that’s what we see on all the commercials and in so many movies, isn’t it? Grand gestures of affection through expensive gifts. Poor as they were, Ian still scraped together the money to buy him baseball tickets and CDs, convinced as he was that that was all part of what you did in a relationship. That desire to do things like a “normal” married couple in s11? Yeah, that starts here. Ian has always been a planner, and he’s always bought into certain stereotypes. We can see that here. What we can also see is Ian’s compassionate, kind, loving soul. He cares so deeply for other people, even ones that he doesn’t know very well, especially if they are living in circumstances that mean something to him. (For example, the mentally ill woman they tried to help at work and the shelter kids whose situations were so similar to Mickey’s.) Kash being a closeted gay man living in misery with a wife he didn’t love and two children he never meant to have clearly tugged at Ian’s heartstrings. Even after everything that happens, even though Ian behaves as though they’re awkward exes who just happen to work together, he still covers for Kash. He gives him that head start and takes it upon himself to break the news to Linda that he’s gone. He defends Kash to Lip when the latter finally says exactly what we all know: he was a pedophile who deserved to rot in prison for what he did. As with Fiona’s trust, Ian’s loving soul, compassionate heart, and desire for love outside his siblings are virtues that have done him harm in the past. This is one such instance.

2.      Ned: The second of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. To be honest, I don’t believe that Ian would even characterize it that way. He seemed very aware that Ned was a distraction from his problems—from Mickey being in juvie, Monica falling into a depressive episode, the money in the squirrel fund being gone, Lip moving out, losing his shot at West Point, and getting denied for service due to his age. Again, though, Ian has always wanted to feel valued, and this rich dude was letting him stay in a fancy hotel room with anything he wanted readily available. This (disgusting predator) guy was giving him attention and a distraction with no strings attached. Then the complications roll in, and he’s once again faced with being the mistress to a closeted, married man. The difference here is that he’s not comfortable with it. He tries to tell Fiona twice, which is enormous for Ian when he has never been very good at communicating if it means burdening others with or even merely facing his own problems. But he tries to tell her. He rejects the GPS unit and tells Ned that he has a boyfriend, boxing him into a strictly sexual arrangement. (This, unfortunately, makes sense. It aligns with how Fiona viewed things: where Jimmy was concerned about it, she told him that it was “just sex.”) He is also visibly embarrassed to admit to Lip and Fiona what has been going on with Ned. By that point, Ian is a year and a half older and, while still scarred and warped in his views because of Kash, perhaps a bit wiser. Emotionally, he kept Ned at arm’s length most of the time. He used Ned not just as a distraction, but as a way to galvanize Mickey into taking their relationship a step forward. But Ian is still Ian, and Ian is compassionate to a fault. Ned played that card by asking if he could have a little understanding for a man whose life was falling apart. Sure, he can. He’s Ian, the Gallagher too empathetic for his own good at times. We know how that spirals out of control. It just goes to show that even when Ian was trying to maintain some emotional distance, his heart is simply too big and his perceptions too heavily impacted by the grooming he’d experienced with two different people by then, and so he [SPOILER ALERT] still feels enough of a connection to Ned after all these years to be mildly bothered that he passed away.

3.      Caleb: The third of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Ian’s relationship with Caleb strikes me as being similar to what he had with Ned. While more age-appropriate, Ian was very much using Caleb, just as Caleb was using him. That’s why it was so easy for both of them to walk away. Ian was in a difficult spot when they met. He was grateful to the firefighters who saved his life, but he had also just saved someone else at a moment when he was perhaps at his absolute lowest. That’s what he’s always wanted, isn’t it—to be a bit of a hero and help people? So, he’s understandably drawn there, first out of gratitude and then to be surrounded by very attractive gay firemen who helped people, saved his life, and invited him to be part of a function they were holding. But he made himself pretty clear from the start: he was interested in sex with Caleb. That was the draw. He still hasn’t come to terms with being bipolar and losing Mickey, but Ian has never not been with anyone for any extended length of time. That’s just who he is: he’s always sought some level of outward validation—from the army, Kash, Monica, Mickey, and so many others. We’re seeing him struggle with that now as he deals with the opportunities available to him as a mentally ill ex-con felon. So, he pursues Caleb as a distraction just like he did with Ned, only Caleb is a predator in his own right and can smell that his interest is coming from a place of weakness. He immediately (and initially unintentionally) preys on Ian’s desperate need for structure and order by insisting on a traditional date where Ian is very much out of his element and even goes so far as to instruct Ian on how to be intimate. It’s no wonder he mentions Mickey in these moments, as Mickey never wanted him to change, and Ian leans heavily (even slightly hyperbolically) into the fact that Mickey wasn’t a paragon of order and stability like Caleb outwardly appears. 

And I think why Ian puts up with it so long—being taught like a child, being used to upset Caleb’s parents, being paraded in front of his friends to make them jealous—is because he was getting something out of it too, just like with Ned. A stable place to live when their home ownership was in flux, a place away from his family when they weren’t providing the support he needed as he adjusted to his disorder, someone who validated his desires to help people regardless of their ulterior motives, and a physical distraction from his own problems. All of these parallel his relationship with Ned very closely. It was never going to last, of course. Ian is a strong person who temporarily forgot how strong he was because he forgot who he was, and Caleb didn’t want to be cared for—he wanted a project, like all of his sculptures. Being a project, being something that others see as needing to be fixed? That’s a hard no for Ian. It always has been. There’s a moment I love later in their relationship where Caleb tells him to turn off the lights when he goes out and lightly reprimands him for leaving one on the day prior. Ian is in a better place at that point, having regained a lot of his sense of self, and stares after him with indignation at being treated like a kid. He’s then lied to and cheated on, but I think that to mention those things to Caleb when they break up is to admit weakness on his own part—that he stuck with Caleb knowing that he was being mistreated, and Ian is not one to be called a victim. So, while we know from his discussions with Lip and Sue that the cheating and distrust bothered him most, he merely focused on Caleb lying about his sexuality, which removed a lot of the emotion from the situation—just like he did with Ned. It ultimately turned out to be a bad move since Caleb, being a skilled predator, made him question even his own sexuality in return, but we’re starting to see that Ian isn’t here to be someone’s toy anymore. Not an older, married man like Ned, but definitely not anyone his age either. I’m glad this pseudo-relationship happened because it showed Ian how strong he really was and that he could be in control of his own life. Sure, it destabilized him a little in the aftermath, but he worked through it. He leaned on his family, specifically Lip, who has always been his rock without the blurred lines that Fiona represented between sister/mother-figure/caretaker. Caleb is a garbage person, but Ian was the one who pulled the treasure from the trash, not him.

4.      Trevor: The fourth of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Trevor is perhaps the first relationship where we don’t see Ian dive in. Whether that’s because of his confusion over Trevor’s gender identity or the fact that he was really beginning to fully mature as an adult by that point (ostensibly finishing his education, getting a career, being fully self-sufficient, etc.), he tried to take his time and not jump right in. They hung out, talked around the neighborhood, and yes, engaged in some casual intimacy at the club. Again, Ian might not be in a full relationship, but he’s never without someone for long. At that point in the series, all he was missing was a relationship when it comes to traditional, “normal” goals for people to have. But Trevor posed a situation he’s never been in before since, while gay himself, Ian has never been very interested in activism or engaging in the LGBT community. It’s just not in his culture or environment, so to be faced with someone he’s interested in that challenges a lot of his views of gender and sexuality is something he takes his time with. Unfortunately, Trevor is younger than him and not quite as mature, not quite as experienced. He tells Ian he has plenty of friends and doesn’t need another, which is an ultimatum that has never really sat very well with me personally because I’m generally of the mind that if a person needs time and you really care for them, you’ll let them have that time. I’m not unsympathetic to Trevor: he’s been burned before and has his own trauma stemming from responses to his identity, so it makes complete sense for him not to be patient in this regard. He shouldn’t have to be—but then, Ian shouldn’t have to rush into anything he’s not 100% certain he wants either. That’s exactly what he does, though, because Ian does for others without thinking of the implications for himself a lot of the time. They make great friends, but they don’t make great partners. Trevor treats Ian similarly to Caleb in that he’s a bit of a project. Trevor educates him on the LGBT community and incorporates him into his ventures for the shelter without ever really showing much interest in Ian’s life or family, which suits Ian just fine because for as interested as he is in helping with the shelter and as attracted to Trevor as he is, he seems to know they’re not compatible. Ian, who has been having sex since he was far too young, takes a step back from it when they run into compatibility issues. (And pushes back on the pressure to bottom with some of his own—neither of them were in the right on that.) He doesn’t ask much about Trevor’s family or try to be part of his personal life. They sort of embody the “friends with benefits” stereotype: they hang out, they have sex, and that’s really all there is to their relationship. 

The reason Ian doubles down on trying to make it work isn’t because there was a future for them before Mickey broke out. It’s because he thinks he’s lost Mickey forever, he knows he’s lost Monica forever, and he’s not going to get the support he needs from his family when they couldn’t stand Monica and Fiona told him what he already knew to be true, namely that Mickey being an escaped convict would destroy everything Ian worked so hard for if he got involved. So, he does what Ian does. He needs that distraction—he needs to run from these strong emotions he can’t process, so he bottles them up and unfairly hopes that Trevor will provide some of that comfort after cheating on him with Mickey. (Had Mickey been released, I think they would have broken up. Instead, that was the first match Ian lit, but certainly not the last.) Now, the thing is, Trevor said at the start that he didn’t want to be Ian’s friend. He’s also younger and less mature in a relationship, which means he threw the concept of love out there prematurely, just like Ian thought what he had with Kash was love. The death throes of their relationship were a back and forth where Ian was spiraling and seeking comfort, and Trevor was providing some while keeping their relationship pretty amorphous. (Were they exes? Were they friends? Were they people who shared interests and danced around each other? Were they going to get back together? They never officially broke up—it fizzled and resurged, then fizzled for good.) Ultimately, whatever it was that they had couldn’t survive Mickey, Monica, or Gay Jesus. Trevor wasn’t prepared to deal with a full-blown manic episode, and based on his hands-off approach with involving himself in Ian’s life even before the Mickey-shaped bomb got dropped on them, it doesn’t seem like he really wanted to anyway. He did what he’s always done: prioritized his shelter, which I’m not deriding in the slightest. By that point, Ian was too far gone to care that he disappeared anyway. Had the situation been different and he was getting the support from his family that he needed, it doesn’t seem like he would have cared much there either.

5.      Mickey: Finally. Only took over five thousand words to get here. I’ll preface this with something that anyone who knows me from other fandoms is already well aware of, namely that I don’t do romance. Ever. Never been interested. The relationships I’ve always been most passionately interested in are platonic ones, especially “found families” and siblings, which is probably obvious from the other five thousand words here. Ian and Mickey are the first relationship I’ve actively shipped or written for in a fandom. They’re the first I’ve been invested in to this extent. As such, one of the biggest pet peeves I had when I first joined this fandom was the saying, “Ian fell first, Mickey fell harder.” These two wonderful dumbasses face planted on the concrete in front of the Kash and Grab in s1 and never recovered. I could go on forever about these two, but that particular wall of text would probably be too daunting for even the most avid Gallavich stan to traverse, so I’ll keep it fairly brief. As we can see above, Ian has a very strict sense of what he “should” want in a partner. Someone who is moderately successful in their chosen field, makes enough money to at least live comfortably, and typically does something that helps other people (a doctor, a fireman, a youth counselor). These aren’t passionate people. They’re not men who operate on instinct the way most of the people in his life have always had to by virtue of their social standing. They have life goals and opportunities that he envies, and Ian has a great deal of compassion for them when they hit a roadblock or things don’t work out. The amazing dichotomy of Ian Gallagher is that he straddles a line most people can’t between the rough neighborhood that has instilled in him all of his values/behaviors and the middle-class mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and aspiring to more. Ian has always aimed for what Lip said wasn’t possible for poor people: being successful without having to scam or steal. But as I said way back at the beginning of this manifesto, the South Side is his home. His family is his family. And none of the people he’s been with personify the South Side quite like Mickey—they don’t personify home like Mickey. 

And I think that’s where the initial draw for Ian is. (I’m going to focus on Ian’s side since he’s who your question focused on.) The other guys look great on paper, and Ian’s brain says that that’s what he should aim for. We know better, though. We know that Ian has an enormous heart that belongs first and foremost to his family and their home. His heart says that this person—this dirty, rude, mean, violent person—is home. His heart says this person is everything about himself that he denies having, just like Ian was everything about Mickey that the latter declined to openly acknowledge for so long. I don’t like relationships built on “making each other better.” I really don’t. The wonderful thing about this is that it’s never been that way. Ian didn’t change Mickey. He’s exactly who he’s always been, but he’s grown past the fear of his own emotions and Terry’s response to them. He’s still a thief, a con artist, violent, and rude. Mickey didn’t change Ian either. He’s still rigidly conforming to certain stereotypes of what he thinks he should want, seeking structure (to his own detriment at times), and not a great communicator. The point for them is that they complement each other, not that they make the other a better person—not even that they bring something out of each other that wasn’t already there. That’s what Ian’s other relationships did. They made him shave off his edges so that he could fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s not happiness. It’s simply what he thought he was supposed to do—what “normal” people did. 

With Mickey, he doesn’t have to worry so much about what is normal or acceptable. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not his life is objectively “on track,” not until fairly recently. Mickey is the only person he’s ever been with who has accepted him for who he is, faults and strengths alike, without the underlying insinuation that he should be aiming for something else or pretending to be whatever the other person needs him to be in order to care for them. Kash needed an escape—Ian provided it. Ned needed a very specific brand of toy—Ian played that role. Caleb needed a project to feel fulfilled—Ian went along with it for a bit. Trevor needed someone who accepted him as he was but did things his way—Ian did that. To care for Mickey has only ever meant being himself because all Mickey ever really needed was him. Mickey didn’t need an escape from his home—his relationship with his family is more complicated than that. Mickey didn’t need to be saved from his upbringing—it’s what made him the person Ian fell in love with and who he is happy to be. Mickey didn’t need someone to change who he is on a fundamental level because unless it is going to get him into trouble and separate them, Ian never wanted him to. (Even then, it’s about what he does, not who he is.) And yes, I’m sure that there’s a level of excitement that Ian finds exhilarating where Mickey is concerned, but I tend to believe it goes a lot deeper than that. What he finds exciting about Mickey is what Mickey embodies about the South Side—about home. About his own upbringing, but also Ian’s. About Frank and Monica, his siblings, school, work, ROTC—existing and surviving in an environment where it’s not guaranteed that you’ll have money to keep the heat on this winter or feed your family. They spent the early seasons living in a constant state of fight or flight. They couldn’t afford not to. And there’s excitement in that. Look at how many people say that the first seasons are their favorite! There hasn’t been a huge shift in the quality or direction of the writing, just the trajectory of the characters. They’ve gotten older, and their problems have been different. It’s not about survival so much of the time anymore, but those are the storylines that excite us. For Ian, that exhilaration in the constant battle of survival in their neighborhood is sewn into the fiber of his being just like it is Mickey’s. He saw his home in Mickey before they truly fell in love, and when that followed, Mickey became home.

In Conclusion

Ian has spent his entire life looking for the “right” path only to realize that it was laid before him: his family, his small circle of friends, and Mickey. I love that that is coming full circle this season, where [SPOILER ALERT] marriage has almost made him regress a bit to that place where there must be a right way of doing things going forward, and slowly but surely, we’re seeing him loosen up.

Good morning. It’s Ian Gallagher loving hours.

[dzamie-oc]

14 - Sea

I just... I really like that "here there be dragons" thing, okay? It got the imaginations of old timey bards and seafaring boasters going, and it gets me thinking about dragons, too.

Length: 1600 words Rating: G Summary: A sailor goes exploring in what he thinks are uncharted waters. He finds them perfectly charted.

-----

William checked his boat’s navigator against the old map spread on the table. It wasn’t a treasure map, and a lot of the handwriting on it was barely this side of legible, but it was one of his father’s most prized possessions, and he intended to finish it. The old man had always insisted to him that it already had been, but Will was no fool. Written on the space just - he checked his speed - just five minutes away was, in large script, “Here There Be Dragons.” He’d tried to explain to his dad that that was what old cartographers would write in unexplored areas, where the unknown was speculated to have fantastical, unreal beasts, but all that ever got him was a condescending smile and a shake of his head.

He wasn’t going to deface the map, of course; he was raised better than to mistreat old heirlooms. He was, however, going to fill in the region on a copy he’d made. Probably with some little doodles of fish, unless an island popped up real soon. Until then, of course, there was little reason not to enjoy the salty sea air, so Will set the navigation computer and strolled out onto the deck to watch and listen to the waves.

The sun shone splendidly down with only a few clouds in the sky, and its light glittered off the wide, open waters. Will half wished he’d brought some fishing equipment, though admitted to himself that it would mostly be there for habit - an excuse to just sit back and relax while pretending not to be wasting time. After motoring to the middle of the “Here There Be Dragons,” noting the surprisingly shallow depth on the fathometer, and anchoring his vessel, the amateur sailor went around the deck, trying to see anything of note in the area. He thought he caught a glimpse of a fish over one side, but other than that, nothing, after the better part of half an hour. 

He made a note of the somewhat shallow water on his map, and went to draw the anchor back up. However, the thought of relaxing in calm waters tugged at his mind, so he stayed his hand and instead settled himself in a chair outside the cabin. After all, he reasoned, he had budgeted ample time to explore an uncharted island or a somehow still-floating derelict, so he might as well use it for a nap. And like that, to the sounds of the waves ebbing and flowing atop the water, and gently slapping against the boat’s hull, he let himself fall asleep.

“...rwater? Captain Bradley? Is that you? Wow, time has been good to you!” a female voice said, rousing William from sleep.

Groggy, the sailor stretched, then squinted towards the voice, shading his eyes with his hand. “Miss? Who... why are you out so far? There’s nothing here.”

The voice made a confused noise. “Hm? I live here, don’t you remember? Oh no, did you somehow lose your memory?”

William shook his head. “Gimme a second, here.” He rose from his chair and stumbled slightly, catching himself on what felt like damp leather. “Thanks, but ma’am, you’re soaked!” Finally, he was able to clear his vision and adjust to the sunlight once again, and nearly fainted dead away at the sight.

“Well, SOME of us swim through the water,” said the scaly, blue-green... creature. One forepaw was outstretched to keep William balanced, and her hindlegs were easily a dozen feet past that. She resembled an eel, with her long body and her even longer tail, sporting a single fin down her length, and her head was almost avian with its triangular shape and beak-like muzzle, except she was absolutely covered in scales, and sported a single horn right below her eyes. The shape of her face didn’t lend itself to smiling, and nor do many animals express themselves with a smile, but the tone of her voice told him plainly of her happy, playful attitude.

Will realized he was staring, and tried to figure out whether it was more important that he was staring at a very large, potentially carnivorous creature with claws and what must be a powerful tail, or staring for an awfully long time at someone who thought she was familiar with him. Before he could come to a conclusion, however, the creature drew back and veritably strutted about the deck, striking a pose and showing off the profile of her horned head. “Hey, I hardly blame you for looking, when what you’ve got to look at is a dragoness as beautiful as me. But, seriously, are you okay, Bradley? You’ve hardly said a word.”

“Sorry, who do you think I am? I’ve never been out here,” Will admitted, then took a careful step towards the cabin. “Please don’t kill me.”

“You’re not Captain Bradley Clearwater?” the dragon asked, “then... why do you have his boat? And look just like him?”

“No, I’m William Clearwater,” he replied, half out of habit, “Bradley was my fa-”

The two of them stopped and stared at each other in shocked silence as the pieces clicked into place.

“Bradley had a kid!?” she shouted and rushed towards Will. “And he didn’t TELL me!?”

Will, to his credit, displayed a phenomenal reaction time, diving away from the lunging sea monster. Peering out from the cabin door, he saw her hesitate, then take a step back. “Also, uh,” she said with less energy than earlier, “I’m not going to kill you. Or, well, I’d rather not. Decency aside, Bradley would be pissed if I killed his kid.”

The sailor took a tentative step out of the cabin, though stayed close by and warily eyed the dragon. “Okay, first thing’s first, I’m dreaming, right? Fell asleep on the open ocean, and my mind is making up some sort of benevolent sea monster who knows my dad?”

The creature shook her head. “I don’t think so, unless you’ve been asleep for longer than you’ve been alive. I’m just one of the only dragons who let humans see us. How is Bradl- your dad, anyway? It’s been awhile.”

“He...” Will sighed. “He passed away a few years ago. That’s why I have his boat.”

“Oh. And you came to tell me the news?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t even know you existed - er, no offense. I just came because of a map he made that had been bugging me.”

“Ooh, a treasure map?” She stepped forward, her body lightly wiggling from nose to tail. “Can I see?”

Will looked at her still-wet body, and thought of the aged paper map. “I’ll... here, let me show you the copy I made. It’s not a treasure map.” He ducked in, grabbed his map from the table, and walked over, holding it so they both could see. “See, the only difference was that his map had a “Here There Be Dragons” in this empty spot, so I came to finish exploring.” He blinked, then looked at her. “Also, I don’t think I caught your name?”

“Well, if you were your dad, I wouldn’t have needed to tell you, so I haven’t yet. I’m Carol,” Carol said. “If that’s the only difference, I’d say it is a treasure map.”

“Wait, what?” Will stared frantically all over the map, looking for some hint or clue or anything that he might have missed, that Carol had somehow seen immediately. “How?”

“The real one says “Here There Be Dragons,” right?” She stepped back and raised a forepaw to her scaly chest, standing proud. “I’m the treasure!”

“No, it’s a shorthand that medieval cartographers used to represent... ah, nevermind.” Will smiled. “In that case, I think I’d like to get to know this treasure, at least for a couple of hours before I head back.”

“Awesome, I love talking about myself!” Carol chirped. “Plus, you definitely have to catch me up on the last... three hundred moons or so?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Will returned his map to the cabin, then emerged onto the deck once more to pass the time with his unexpected guest.

-----

Dragon and sailor spent the next few hours talking, teaching each other about their cultures, and just hanging out in general. By the time William had to leave, he had grown bold enough to ask if he could feel her scales - on purpose, this time, and Carol was more than happy to show him just where on her head to rub, and then joked that now, he was obligated to do that more, the next time he visited. After he said his goodbyes, Carol dove over the side of the boat and into the water. It surprised William, how little her leap made the boat rock back and forth, and what small splash she made, in spite of being easily four or five times as long as he was tall.

Carol helped lift the anchor, even though William tried to explain that it was an automatic thing now. Once it was all up, they bid farewell one last time, and then William started up the engine. With Carol keeping her neck and one forepaw above the water, the two waved at each other for a bit as they receded into their respective distances, and then the dragon vanished beneath the waves, leaving the man to his thoughts.

William looked at his map, thinking about his original plan for the trip - to prove to himself (and his father’s memory) that the map really was incomplete. He stared at the little mark he made on his map, noting the unexpectedly shallower waters he dropped anchor in. And, with a confident, humorous smile he suspected looked like the one his dad gave him whenever he brought up the old map, William put pen to paper, making sure to write in the correct place, and write legibly:

“Here There Be Dragons”

[hellflame-for-a-reason]

Ingenium Fracta

Chapter three: Fear and pain

Tw: funerals, doctors, suffocation, nightmares.

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Iida Tenya; honoured friend, beloved son and brother. He was a good young man, taken from us too soon. Tenya was a model student and a perfect future hero, who was taken from us by an event none could see happen. It's safe to say that he's in a better place now, he's-"

There had been a funeral, the entire class had shown up. No one really spoke, it was nice catching up with Tensei he supposed, but the fact that it was at a funeral for the poor man's brother really put a damper on things. Aizawa had never felt more guilty for anything in his life, he couldn't believe he'd let a student die like that, how could he be a teacher now?

They never even found the body, Aizawa figured it was because Iida had been fighting Shigaraki at the time. That poor boy, Aizawa couldn't imagine what his family was going through. Class 1-A had completely refused to vote in a new class president, seeming offended at the very idea. Aizawa couldn't blame them at all and he managed to get Nezu to agree that the class would be fine with only a vice president. It was going to be a bit difficult for poor Momo but she was adamant she could manage, replacing Iida would be an insult.

Recently, Aizawa had found himself having regular nightmares about losing more students. It was one of those nights where Hizashi found him, he didn't know where Hizashi had been but he didn't really care. All that mattered to Aizawa was that his loving husband was now holding him gently, "Sho? What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" He nodded in response and was suddenly lifted up and placed onto Hizashi's lap, a hand combing through his hair, "it's ok babe, it wasn't real, it's just a nightmare."

"I dreamt I lost more students…"

"Oh Shouta…" Hizashi kissed the top of his head, "it isn't your fault, it never was. You couldn't have known the villains would be there, no one could."

"But…" he was crying now, "I'm supposed to be their teacher, Hizashi, I'm supposed to be a hero!"

"You are a hero! You're EraserHead! Those kids adore you Sho! And they don't hold a single thing against you, please don't hold it against yourself." He was brushing Aizawa's hair now, making sure to be careful of all the knots and tangles. Aizawa had no idea where he found such a perfect husband, he certainly didn't deserve someone so loving. "You did everything you could, but you had to watch the whole class, it's understandable that one slipped through the cracks."

It was silent for a bit after that, Aizawa just sat there trying to process Hizashi's words as the husband in question continued to brush his hair- he was braiding it now. It was very bad when Aizawa couldn't sleep, he usually slept through everything, his thoughts had to be incredibly bad if they were keeping him awake. The guilt that followed losing a student was more than enough though, not only that but it had been the class president, it had been Tenya Iida, Aizawa used to be in the same class as Tensei; the guy was the sweetest, most caring hero they had in their class. It really showed when he saw how Tenya behaved with class 1-A, everything he did reminded Aizawa of Tensei, but now seeing Tensei's face at the funeral, Aizawa had only seen Tenya. What a horrific way for the tables to turn.

The Iida's were a proud family, with a long and incredible lineage; they'd been doing good for people before quirks even evolved. Aizawa had always known them to be a little stuck up in their attitudes, Tensei being the clear outlier- the more he'd seen of Tenya, the more he realised both the Iida brothers were outliers. The funeral had been the first time he'd ever seen any of the Iida's cry- well except from Tenya, who had cried when the hero killer had hurt Tensei and was now unable to cry at all, or even feel emotions. Aizawa couldn't blame Iida's parents for crying; their baby had just died after all. They'd had one hell of a year, first Tensei's legs and now their youngest son.

A child had died. That was the hardest part for Aizawa to cope with; the fact that a child, barely 16, had died due to his failings as both a teacher and a hero. The civilians that had been on the same floor had praised Iida, commenting that they had felt safe around the next Ingenium. They told everyone about how cool and composed he had been when instructing them to evacuate and then one even mentioned him running in to disarm the villain. Aizawa honestly couldn't have been prouder of the kid, Iida had been the perfect picture of a model hero. That's what it was all about, saving and protecting the public. That was why Aizawa was a failure; he couldn't even save one child.

Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do now. It was too late to save him. So all Aizawa and everyone else could hope to do was move on and grow from it, he had argued with Nezu for the fourth time about getting his class a specialist councillor and he'd finally agreed to it, saying he'd look for one. His kids really needed it, Aizawa could well imagine how the death of a classmate felt to them, and it wasn't any classmate either; it was their beloved class president. When the news was broken to them, Aizawa had even seen Mineta and Bakugou shedding tears, and neither of them were even friends with Iida.

It was safe to say that everyone would miss the boy greatly, Aizawa didn't even like calling him a boy; Tenya Iida had proven himself more of a man then Aizawa was. The hero course favoured the flashy and the violent, but true heroes like Iida were really overlooked. Aizawa would make sure to praise the model students he had in the future, he shouldn't waste so.much time with the problem children. There should be a balance; heroes are supposed to be the protectors, but who protects the heroes? Aizawa would've liked to say it was him, but clearly he was lacking in that department.

-

Black smoke, filling his lungs, stealing his air. He was choking, he was on the floor. He'd been asked to revv his engines, to show what they could do, now he was choking on his own exhaust fumes. He was on the floor, when did he fall to the floor? There was yelling all around him and he wasn't sure what was going on in the slightest. He felt his consciousness slipping away from him as he gasped for air, his eyes were shut tight but he could feel the tears running down his face. He finally lost consciousness as he heard one of the men yelling, "get both! Just in case!"

When he came to, he was laying in a bed. Judging by the room it was probably Toga's bed, the mattress was so soft and the aching feeling in his legs didn't feel so bad when he lay there. He was surrounded by Toga, the burnt man and three men Tenya hadn't met yet. One man was wearing a full body suit, in blacks and greys, the second man was clearly just a mechanic, the third being a doctor, both the two regular men were clearly being held at gunpoint. Tenya had the vague idea that this was illegal, but he was too tired to think much of it.

"Are you alright kid?" The burnt man asked, putting a hand on the bed frame, "apparently part of your engine got disconnected and we had to get a doctor and a mechanic to fix it for you."

"Oh," Tenya paused, he hadn't considered the fact that bring trapped under rubble would affect his engines, although to be fair, he didn't really understand how his engines worked- or at least he'd forgotten, "well they do kind of ache…"

The doctor nodded, "that'd be the stitches, they'll ache for a little while but they should degrade on their own… can I go home now?" The mechanic looked just as desperate to leave as the doctor, and both men were led downstairs by the man in the catsuit.

Toga sat on the bed next to him, "normally I like seeing boys all injured like that, but that was really scary- there wasn't even any blood!" She frowned at him, "are you sure you're alright? I don't want my new friend dying on me!"

"I'm fine, don't worry. I'm from very hardy stock."

The burnt man raised an eyebrow at that, "do you remember what stock? Recall any family members?"

"Hmm…" unfortunately Tenya still couldn't remember anything about his family outside of his last name, "still no, my apologies."

"Don't apologize kid, they abandoned you too didn't they? Didn't even care that their kid 'died', only about those poor, defenseless heroes."

"Yeah!" Toga added, frowning, "those meanie heros left you to die! You shouldn't care about them!"

Tenya nodded, that made sense to him. The thought of people calling themselves heroes leaving someone to die in a wreckage made his blood boil- he hoped that didn't translate to his engine, he didn't want to put any strain on it at the moment. Instead he just watched them leave the room, and he settled down for a nap; he may as well use Toga's bed whilst he had it.

Dispite Kurogiri's concern, Tenya had ended up moving into Toga's room anyway; they were the only ones close enough in age and since Tenya was gay and Toga already had a crush, the adults figured it would be fine. Tenya had been happy to help the burnt man, who Tenya later found out was named Dabi, set up his bed. Kurogiri even bought him an Ingenium poster, which Tenya found off because he could have sworn that *he* was Ingenium… but nevertheless, Tenya found it very nice of him, he hadn't been expecting that. The man known as Twice somehow managed to get him a new pair of glasses as his last pair had been broken, he'd also bought Tenya some bedsheets and pillow covers, as well as many books to help Tenya keep up with his studies.

In fact, Tenya was studying when Toga looked over at his book, "whatcha doin'?"

"I'm reading about algebra, see?" He showed her the notebook he was trying the questions in, "it's like maths but there's letters! It's rather fun!"

"Why would there be letters in maths? That doesn't make any sense!"

He chuckled at that, shuffling to the side so she could get on the bed with him, "oh it's easy when you think about it, come on; I'll show you." He put his bookmark in the book and flipped back a few chapters, understanding that Toga would probably need something a little easier.

"Let's try something simple, okay?" He smiled at her, beginning to write the question down when she nodded. "So let's say that A means one, and B means two, what would A plus B make?" He wrote the question down as he said it, making sure it was clear.

She nodded slowly, taking the pen from Tenya as she slowly wrote down the answer, at least she understood basic maths- although her handwriting was terrible. "Is it three? Or do I have to write down another number?"

"Well technically you're right, unfortunately the rules of algebra dictate that the answer would be AB."

Toga proceeded to look at Tenya like he was a moron, "so it's not even numbers? Why is it still maths?"

He sighed, unsure of how to explain it to her, "well you've got to figure out how to shorten the question I suppose, it doesn't entirely make sense- but that's what makes it so fun!" He smiled, knowing there was no point in explain it to her, she hadn't finished middle school so there wasn't much of a chance of her grasping algebra.

"You're so weird Ten-chan! Stick to liking murder like the rest of us!" She giggled, they both knew there was no malice behind that, her genuine smile showed that. Toga got off of the bed and went back to her own, toying with her knife. "Do you want to talk about Izuku?"

"Who?" Tenya didn't think he'd ever heard that name before, but he had a funny feeling of deja vu from it.

"Huh?" Toga was once again looking at Tenya like he was stupid, "you know? Green hair, freckles? Sometimes goes by Deku? Izuku Midoriya?"

A gasp, "Midoriya?" Tenya knew Midoriya, he loved Midoriya! Midoriya was his best friend, was Izuku his first name? Tenya felt a little guilty that he didn't know his best friend's full name, or even how he looked. To be fair though, he did have memory issues, so he couldn't be blamed really.

"Yeah! That's Izuku's last name! You wanna talk about him?"

"Of course I want to talk about Midoriya! He's my best friend!"

Toga giggled, taking out her phone and beginning to show him the photos she'd taken. They were photos of Midoriya, Tenya instantly recognized him, despite not remembering his face. The fear on his face in every photo was particularly familiar, and Tenya found himself having flashes of an image in his head, of nothing but pure worry and stress on Midoriya's face. Toga snapped him back to reality, beaming happily, "isn't he cute??"

Tenya had to nod at that, "his hair is very fluffy, and I like his freckles." He did agree with Toga, Midoriya was a lot more adorable than Tenya had expected. This was his best friend? Oh Tenya must be the best at making friends then, to befriend someone so pretty.

"I know, right? I like him best when he's covered in blood!"

"Why?"

A moment of silence and Toga paused, "I don't know, just think he's attractive," she shrugged, clearly not having a real answer. Tenya didn't really mind, he was just curious, he didn't actually care either way.