#and truthfully im sad
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#tko_art#caught in the rain#love is for fools#ive passed the halfway point for my sketchbook#and truthfully im sad#it just seems like id never reach it#and i just thought i would be better now#but its okay#there are many sketchbooks to fill#many faces to draw#it just feels like i shouldve progressed further than this#but i suppose i cant expect to draw the same thing over and over and expect to get better#truthfully im very sad#and very bitter#hm#silently resigning
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What would the spies look like as villains and vice-versa?
This took me a while to get to, even though I've been thinking about it for a LONG while now...it took a lot of brainstorming (especially for the villains LOL)
Below the cut, I wrote some short character blurbs for each of them, and how different they are compared to their OG spy au counterparts!
The spy gang is admittedly a bit more straightforward than the villains. To be fair I also had a faster time figuring out the OG spies too so it's okay.
Agent Buí is our very determined and optimistic field agent! Like Miss April, she's very charismatic and just a bit goofy. She does Not have the hat of holding as an agent, but she's still inhumanely indestructible like a cartoon character. She's also a tad more careful about getting others involved in the crossfire than Miss April is.
Agent Rojo is most commonly seen as Agent Buí's field partner, though his lack of stealthiness and carefulness makes things a little more dicey for them. It's fine though, because Rojo and Buí enjoy the extra challenge. Just like Hellforge, he's very skilled in combat, he lovesss confronting people, and he abides by his moral beliefs seriously. Unlike Hellforge, he's not an engineer in any sense of the word, much less for weapons.
Agent Beguni is the resident tech wiz of the group, responsible for giving the agents a lot of gadgets and tools...though Rojo in particular complains about how "lame" his gadgets are ("Don't call them LAME they're there to PROTECT you!!") Him and Terror are similar in their general...idk patheticness? /LH and their desire to be a little less scared of everything by putting themselves in a high-risk career. Though he still gets kinda pulled by Rojo and Buí out in the field even if it's so so so scarys...
Agent Laranja is the handler and de facto "boss" of the spy gang, like Bughaw is. She likes to plan a lot but the others tend to derail them REALLY quickly, and she has to improvise along with them. It's a bit of work to get her agents under control, but she does enjoy working with them. Similarities with Axyon....might be a spoiler? They both have a background in psychology. And I guess Laranja smiles a lot more here.
I didn't include Granny (Agent Sepia) in here bc I got tired sorry </3 but she would've been a retired agent OR. a director. who keeps reminiscing of the good ol' days of espionage or something.
ANDD the villains. The guys I spent the most time on. My funny little guys
Bb. Alakdan is the villain group's primary information collector and, in some ways, their primary fighter. She specializes in socializing, fashion statements, and poison-making. She has a bunch of other needles hidden in her gloves and boots too. I almost didn't include the scorpion tail because it's So damn impractical. BUT DAMN if it isn't cool (Emile made it for her methink). Like Verte, their strengths are in charisma and persuasion. Unlike Verte, Alakdan is more willing to get her hands dirty, is more confrontational, and she has less emotional baggage about her job. Another name for her was Lady/Miss/Madame Scorpia, which, if translated in Tagalog, is Bb. Alakdan.
Vivien is Alakdan's little sister and a self-proclaimed villain-to-be!! Vivi adores everyone in the villain gang and wants to be as cool as them someday...Just like in the OG au however, her sister Dani discourages her from getting too interested in her career because it's dangerous. She's a bit more involved in the villain group though, kind of acting as their evil minion/apprentice/whatever. The others really like her and will burn the world down if anything bad happened to her. Villain name to come later if I ever come up with something for her.
The Duke of Hearts usually fills the role of Alakdan's partner-in-crime in the field. This fucking guy is actually the reason why this took so long, because I can't think of a good villain gimmick for Emby other than being the Muscle for the group (which is funny, since in the first versions of the OG spy au he WAS gonna be a villain too). I settled for a magician-type guy who's very stealthy and is also great at confusing people. He's just as socially anxious and self-conscious as Roz despite his chosen role, though I guess part of that is him wanting to get over his stage fright. While he's just as physically strong as Roz is, Duke is even more averse to getting into fights; he's truthfully not a very skilled fighter. You guys get to see this doodle I made which cemented the whole silent magician-thief thing I've got for him. Another name for him would've been Mr. Stardust, or something with King/Jack/Ace (like the suits). I don't think he would've been comfortable with being called King though. He's not the King of anything.
The hat of holding is kind of a /joke but I'm kinda obsessed with the implication that the villain group MUST have one in their possession. It's not really needed for him but damn if it isn't funny SKDJFH
Lady Tragedy is the group's mastermind and leader, and everyone pretty much respects her. Extremely clever and surprisingly persuasive, agents must be careful around her lest they hear her calming, hypnotizing voice. The mask is somewhat a mirror of Dr. Axyon's mask, but I haven't really thought about all these guys' motives and backstories too hard (I probably won't). Just like Bughaw, she's a very good leader who's very considerate of her comrades. Tragedy also has decked out mobility aids. Unlike Bughaw............................Tragedy's. a villain? I guess? I think that's literally it. Another name for her was Judge Amygdala or ANYTHING with Judge in it. Judge Tragedy is just hard to say out loud (unless that's just a me thing LOL) but I like how Lady Tragedy ended up sounding.
Emile, or Monsieur Mortelle is literally just Agent Indigo back when she was in the League if we're being honest. Nothing changed about her, I guess again other than motive reasons. She also didn't have a villain name originally, but my French partner suggested something with Mortelle because, APPARENTLY, "ennuie mortelle" is a common French saying which means "killer boredom". I think it was funny so I ended up giving that to her LOL in-universe I'd like to think that Alakdan gave her that name instead because Emile was perfectly satisfied with being called. Emile. She just kinda accepted it. ALSO BTW. Yes I'm aware the gendered words don't match, I know monsieur is masculine and mortelle is feminine That's the point ok. the point is she doesn't careeeeeeeeeeee about genderrrrrrrrrrr okay. so don't get up on my business about this. The only french opinions I care about is my partner's okay /lh
Anyways yeah my braincells were spent on the designs and the names. Probably not gonna develop this any further unless I want to do something silly with them, but nevertheless this was a fun little hypothetical to play around with!
#inside out#inside out 2#pixar inside out#joy#anger#fear#anxiety#disgust#envy#embarrassment#sadness#ennui#spy au#....kind of. im tagging it anyways#gene art#gene answers#heavenlyhoundoom#truthfully brainstorming the names took a Lot of time AKSDJHF#inside out au#fun fact: if i didnt know there was an irish word for yellow joy's name wouldve been agent yellow AKSDJFH#me: hmm time to make evil emby#also me: draws the goofiest emby ive ever drawn in my life. i love him
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I really do know that physical appearance isn’t everything but i also really hope that one day i get to experience someone i love looking at me and thinking i’m pretty
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#idk#i just haven’t really had many compliments on my appearance throughout my life#but the few times i have gotten them have been crazy#i end up thinking about it forever#idk i’m just forever excited about the idea of someone just plain old LIKING me#like bells and whistles of falling in love and everything aside#i truthfully deeply really want someone just to like me if that makes sense#also this isn’t like a sad post btw#it’s something im hopeful about and look forward to a lot :)#right now i just have to be a bit wistful about it though lol#im gay and i like sleeping
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its so fun how despite not living in america i dont need to check the us election news at all because i know if anything major happens tomorrow before my exams itll be all anybodys talking about . which never happens with our own elections or politics but WHAT EVER!
#slash sarcasm#its so annoying bc the us election DOES impact us and the rest of the world majorly. and we dont get a single say in it argh#oh well. no point stressing about it im gonna make food and maybe try study#sorry ok also all my irl friends are being so defeatist and i just. shut UP we dont even live there we dont know what its like#how the hell do you think youre able to be so sure who will win based off some statistics you barely understand and an article or 2#sorry again that was a bit mean. truthfully it just makes me sad that my friends are choosing to assume the worst outcome is#already decided when its not and they dont need to be stressing like this!!! they dont need to give up hope!!
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big news everybody nintendo reached out to me to work on the game design for miitopia 2! heres what i can share! some class designs for the promo party of mii2pia, coming to nintendo switch on 6/13/26!
#miitopia#my art#god i love miitopia this is maybe my favorite game of all time#it has such a dear place in my heart#from my childhood to finally attempting late postgame revently this week for the first time#its so#ethereal and surreal#not that anybody cares but dont take this sappiness as a sign that miitopia 2 is coming#its not#i dont think it ever will truthfully which is#very sad to say but#aghhh i love you miitopia. I love all the love that went into this game#god getting a switch port is crazyyyy i still cant believe its real#im the miitopia guy#forever and always#ill return to my roots#artists on tumblr#<- hangs my head in shame
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midway through fall thoughts on FoM:
i opened the game to find i'd gotten a letter saying i did all the early access quests annnnnnd closed the game
#m.txt#hm posting#SAD! didnt even get through year 1 before running out of content#(allegedly theres still relationship events but i truly dont care that much without main plot giving me stuff to do)#obvs i could keep playing bc theres still a game there but............ i dont see much reason to?#idk what id be working towards since theres really no benefit rn to upgrading your house or anything#i could keep up with my animal breeding escapades but truthfully i find it kind of unpleasant to try and manage that#idk what to even do with all these animals im getting
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A game - by queenoftheashes on hellopoetry.com
#poetry#poems#*#mine#listen im doing my best#to promote my poetry#i'm too sad#to open photoshop#to do all the fancy shit#i think my soul#is just truthfully tired#listen#these are all so sad#everything is#sad
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cosplaying is healing me personally (killing my wallet, also)
#mmmmni love having expensive hobbies HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYAA#Tbh for most of my life all i did was draw so like#i get surprised when shit costs stuff#w drawing#esp digital it s kind of like an investment#where u buy one device then after that have fun go crazy#w cosplay it's like . paying up Per character and Per accessory which is Yay#amazing even#and then i picked up cooking#it's consumable so obviously . youd have to buy shit all the time#im just very . i forgot the word. cautious about my money and end up spending it on dumb shit anyway#i am a hoarder at heart#but also deeper inside said heart is just a monkey brain that smiles when yellow color sad when blue color etc#simple minded activities of a person trying to feel something after being numb for a long time#also trying new hobbies because i fear the passion i had for drawing has been spent#i still do it because its what i do best and itd be a waste#but like yeah i kind of hate it sometimes#its cool when it turns out nice then a few hrs later i dont wanna look at it ever againnnnnnnnn#truthfully#i want to restart my brain#maybe itll do better on its 2nd try
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so harris lost?
can we start accepting that most white americans are bloodthirsty self absorbed people?
enjoy the booming economy while conservatives vote your access to healthcare and science and shit even safety to shit!
all i can say is this: learn how to shoot and stockpile lol
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#tko_art#im posting this in advance cuz im on vacation 😔#i hope the weather isnt shit#🤞😋#and i hope i can turn my brain off to enjoy it#instead of stressing about art and progress#and capitalism and how much time im “wasting” like an idiot#😴😴😴😴#why do i think so much#i hope i have fun#and most importantly i do not cry#in front of my friends#i think i'd have to kill myself#or throw myself off a bridge and drown#what's the point of being rich if I wake up alone#or something something#i'll tell u more if u don't mind#but i'd hate to waste your time#it'll be okay#truthfully i think the problem is more so i find comfort in my sadness and don't know how to exist in any other form than that#being sad made me who I am#insert pain is what made me a sister warrior sobbing emoji#why would I want to change that?#it'll be ok trust
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ogjhg that amatonormativity got hands
#m#i love working with kids😁 it does not fill me with a deep sadness that they accuse me of lying#when they ask if i have a boyfriend and i truthfully say Nope!#“no youre lying you actually do because i saw your phone and there's a picture of you and a boy” just straight maki.g shit up#you are not allowed to look at my phone regardless. but there is No Such Image my lockscreen is Midnight Burger thank you very much#is it really that hard to believe#anyway. whatever im reading too much into it probably#but it is a little sad#aro
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i hate that i am just one person bc theres so much at cedar point i need to fix but again i am one person
#FOR A SECOND. we were arguably on par with disney and other major parks ngl!!!#some people would argue that we still are but truthfully we're not!!! theres virtually nothing for FAMILIES.#shows are barely advertised and barely existent. theres very few rides in between kiddie rides and major ones#and part of it is probably nostalgia talking but genuinely cedar point used to be a REALLY good park#i love it still. its still my park its still what im dedicating my life to but it can be more#ive seen it and its what got me here in the first place#the corporateness of it all has killed it badly#but again. i am just one very sad autistic person#the park will probably close in my lifetime#im just a pallbearer
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haha god listening to music and having scenarios in your head is so fun, yes the scenarios are about a hypothetical good relationship with my parents why do you ask
#vent#idk i feel like i have no one to turn to#like my parents are there but relying on them feels like walking on eggshells and hiding the effects of my transition#also one of them is just a plain Disney movie antagonist to be honest#hi also i am not depressed i swear! just very sad for some reason#im content with my life#in a sense i dont want to have to see anyone ever again#just rot away in my flat forever and ever and not have to worry about conflict or agression from the people in my life#maybe im selfish idk#the earth is the home of everybody on earth#not just me#also human connections? so hard!!!#i think i may be on the spectrum but im still waiting for the official diagnosis next month#but its like im always uncomfortable around people? like im some sort of strange social parasite who does everything ever wrong and is reall#y awkward and nobody liked me ever but also when someone says they do#there's simply nothing? as if they were inly words to me#and it's not only that i dont believe it possible#but also that i just dont know the feeling#it just makes me uncomfortable to hear that despite my friends possibly believing it#it's not their fault#but i just feel like there's a barrier between me and everyone#or maybe that I'm like just some minor occurance in all these wonderful people and i disappear from their lives as quickly as i arrived?#i dont know how to feel content truthfully#walking znd listening to music can only keep me pensive for so long#i just want to be comfortable sometimes#spend a few minutes not worrying#actually accepting care and love#being deadweight if only for one short while#and not hating myself for days afterwards
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im thinking again
#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body#im just.....okay#Well aaaa its weird#nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know#the passing of time is still my worst enemy#i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno#but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one#im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again#and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i#hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik#e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base#f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered#this is really fun talking to people like this. um#youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again#blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was#gonna say#okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm#idk#it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im#desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope#I hate sleeping
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#so I think ep 12 is really good - does it have problems? yes.#do I think Atom should've apologized to Boston's face properly? yes#do I think boston should've apologized to top's face properly? yes#do I think Nick's interesting choice words for his last convo with Boston were def harsh? yes#do I wish they did the fire topmew scene a bit differently to make it more poignant esp since they've been shitting on top? yes#so many things! And that's just ep 12 bc jfc if u asked me abt the other eps?...we'd be here all night#basically it's this - they are characters meant to rep early 20 something students who are so messy and flawed and reckless#will they each recognize every mistake they've ever made? noooooo bc WHY WOULD THEY??? WHEN ITS ABT THEIR PAIN!?!?#THEY ARE THINKING OF YHEMSELVES#THATS HOW IT IS SOMETIMES - I DO THE FUCKING SAME THING#it feels v much like the end of edge of seventeen where you're with a character you've bonded over for an hour and a half and realize#NO ONE is going to apologize to them - not truthfully or fully or genuinely or etc and it's sad and heartbreaking and painful#but newsflash - it happens#and don't think you've done it right all the first time and apologized rightfully - and if u did?? It's bc that person mattered to you!#these 'friends'??? while yes they are - they also are not#im fucking surprised they all stayed friends tbh bc they don't truly make sense long-run but they have that business together so let's see#let's face it - it's the friendships it's the meanings it's the labels it's the community it's the assumptions it's the lack of words#ya'll saying you want toxic but can't handle when everything is not fair#and it isn't fair! there's exec decisions there's editing decisions there's casting decisions! bruh. it was set up from the start.#editing based on audience reaction? bruh. played right into their hands#blabber time#please ignore me#not even gon put the tags bc ya'll vicious as fuck when it comes to your characters while valid I'm tbh too tired to hear abt
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I feel like I'm just more, idk, emotional than I used to be. Like when I was 15 I prided myself for not crying at anything, but now I feel like I want to cry more and at the dumbest things. On one hand this is good because having more emotional output than 15 year old me feels like a plus, but on the other hand having too much emotional output might get bad™️...
#bluey's miscellaneous posts#bluey's nonsense#bluey's vents#bluey's life#bluey's honestly surprised#bluey's shenanigans#bluey's is open to questions#bluey's real life events#bluey's emotions#i feel like 15 year old me and almost 19 year old me aren't the same person#because I look at 15 year old me and feel sad#granted im not perfect but she just needed help#and truthfully im not sure if she got it#because i feel empty sometimes too but not NEARLY as much as she did...#abluehappyface
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