#and tomorrow its My turn to drive the 9 hours <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

most nights kinda suck. but sometimes youre relaxing in a nice motel and one of the tv channels is playing 9-1-1 episodes <3 and everything feels like it'll be okay for a few hours <3

[mattscoquette]

𝑰𝑻'𝑺 𝑨 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬/𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮 - 𝑭𝑰𝑽𝑬 | 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉..a quiet introverted girl attempts to befriend her popular neighbor

cursing, very very slight mentions of a panic attack, mentions of kissing, mentions of drinking

3.2k words

introduction 1 2 3 4 6 7

addilyn richardson,

had been absolutely grinding out this science project. she and matt had been working together a little more than a week, and were currently five days away from its due date. not only did they have to create the marble run, but they had to also complete a five page packet along with it, and present their project together in front of the class. addilyn was sitting across from matt, hunched over her worksheet as matt glued pieces of the project together.

“it’s getting kind of late, addy, why don’t we pick up tomorrow?” matt suggested to her. she looked up at him with tired eyes. since that one weird night the previous week, matt had starting acting nicer. at first it started with matt inviting addilyn out to lunch after the hockey game. then he started saying hi to her in science. the absolute cherry on top was when he offered her a ride yesterday morning.

addilyn walked outside, instantly being met with the brisk morning air. boston winters were hardcore, and the heavy wind was only making it worse. wrapping her coat around her frame tighter, addilyn braced herself for the walk up the block to wait for the bus. she walked down the driveway, stopping when she heard her name being called. she looked up as matt walked over to her. he was bundled up in a north face jacket, a pink tint across his cheeks and nose as he shivered.

“it’s too cold for you to walk addy, let me give you a ride.” that was the first time he called her addy. at first, he wouldn’t even call her by her name, only saying things like “tell her to do this” to his brothers if they were around. if they weren’t, then he’d call her addilyn, saying it always with an annoyed tone. but today he called her by her nickname, and it made her heart skip a beat. he offered her a soft smile and she returned it, nodding quickly. she climbed into the back seat next to nick, chatting with him the whole way to school.

she looked over at the clock the sat above the stove. it was 9:45, but she was determined to get more of this assignment done. she only lived next door, after all, and she needed to make sure they got a perfect score on their project. “i’m okay matt, i think i just need a quick break.”

he nodded, offering her a water, and let her excuse herself to go into nick’s room. nick was sat atop his bed, scrolling on his phone when she walked in.

“hey girl,” he smiled at her, “how’s it going out there?”

“okay, i think.” she yawned, stretching her arms and legs out. they’d been working since they got home from school, only taking a short break a few hours ago when chris came barging into the kitchen, asking matt to drive him to get food. “i’m a little tired, though.”

“yeah it’s late, you leaving soon?” nick asked.

addilyn shrugged. “we still have more we need to do. i’m okay going home a little late. the walk isn’t far.”

nick laughed. “why don’t you come sit? we can take a break and watch a quick episode of rupaul or something.”

the tired girl nodded, sitting down next to nick. he got up momentarily to switch off his overhead lights, turning on the soft fairy lights above his bed instead. he climbed back into his bed next to addilyn, turning on the t.v. at a low volume. the change in ambiance of nick’s bedroom made addilyn all-the-more tired, and she rested his head onto his shoulder.

resting my eyes for five minutes won’t hurt, right? she thought as she closed her eyes.

*₊˚ 𓂃✧

both addilyn and nick jolted awake about an hour later to the sound of matt pounding on the door. he’d gone on his phone when addilyn was in nick’s room, not noticing how much time had gone by until chris came down to say goodnight.

addilyn sat up, shaking nick to also get up, and walked over to the door to let matt in. she took in the sight in front of her. his hair was messy, as per usual, and he’d switched out his pair of blue jeans from earlier to a pair of red and black plaid pajama pants. he wore a grey hoodie with his school’s logo on the front, a number 4 on the side of his sleeve underneath his last name. he looked good. “sorry,” he apologized quickly, realizing how loud his knocking was.

“what time is it?” they both heard nick call out from the bed, sitting up to turn off the show they fell asleep watching.

“almost 11:30,” matt replied, looking at nick. he turned back to addilyn “i packed all your stuff up, i didn’t think you’d wanna get back to work.”

she smiled, thanking him for the gesture, as she felt a knot in her stomach. she’d been feeling that a lot around matt lately and she didn’t know why. maybe it was because he was acting nice. or maybe it’s because in the week she’s spent with him, she’d realized she was maybe starting to catch feelings.

it was a monday night, and addilyn was over at matt’s to work on the project. he was wearing a navy blue hoodie that made his eyes look even more blue, and he was currently laughing at an anecdote addilyn was telling him. she smiled brightly at him, laughing along with the boy.

he took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, immediately breaking out into laughter again as he looked up and met her eyes.

his laugh is so cute, she thought. she looked down at her lap away from matt, trying to push her thoughts into the back of her head.

“you’re really funny, addilyn,” matt told her softly, wiping tears from his eyes. she looked over to him to find him already staring at her.

she looked at his face, trying to read it. she wasn’t the type to normally confuse niceness with having a crush on someone, but something with matt felt different. when nick or chris talked to her, she didn’t get dizzy when they would smile at her, or accidentally brush hands. but she felt it all with matt.

“what are you looking at?” he smiled, leaning forward across the table slightly as his eyes flicked between both of hers. she could’ve sworn he glanced at her lips.

addilyn was feeling bold. “you.” she replied.

he shook his head, smiling softly, and then leaning back against his chair. “we should get back to work.”

“addy,” nick said from his bed, breaking addilyn away from her thoughts. she blinked up at matt as he smiled down at her.

there’s that feeling again.

“do you wanna spend the night? i know you only live next door but i feel bad making you walk back over so late.” nick asked her, walking over to where she was.

“are you sure?” she breathed, “i feel bad.”

“don’t,” nick replied, “i have pajama bottoms and a hoodie you can wear. it’s no problem really.” he smiled kindly at her. she broke her gaze away from matt, looking to nick.

“okay,” she nodded, “i’ll let my mom know.”

addilyn turned back to look at matt. “i’ll go get you your backpack and stuff,” he told her softly, “wait here.”

“i got it, don’t worry.” she told him, brushing past him in the door way as he looked at her go. she heard footsteps trailing behind her. she turned around to find matt following her into the kitchen.

“i need to get my stuff too.” he told her. she nodded softly, trying to keep her cool and act normal.

they made their way to the table, matt collecting all of his belonging he left out on the table. addilyn’s notes and books were all packed away neatly in her bag, which matt had left on the chair for her. she offered to help matt clean, but he just smiled at her.

“i can do it, you go to bed, you worked too hard today.” he laughed, handing her bag to her. his fingers brushed against hers, lingering there for just a second. she felt her cheeks heat up as she took the bag. she looked down at her feet, knowing for sure her face was a bright crimson color. suddenly the room in the air felt thick, and she became hyper aware of matt’s presence in front of her. was he standing this close the entire time? she looked up at him, to find him already looking at her.

“goodnight matt.” she whispered, afraid if she spoke any louder it would break the atmosphere around them. he was standing so close to her, she wondered if he was able to hear her heart beating out of her chest. a smile ghosted across his face, and for half of a second addilyn thought he would lean down and kiss her.

he didn’t, though, only softly replying “goodnight addy.”

she turned on her heel, making her way back into nicks room quickly. she found a pair of fuzzy pajama bottoms and a large hoodie folded neatly on nick’s bed, where he was sat. “you can go change in the bathroom, i left a spare toothbrush in there for you too.”

she thanked him, collecting the clothes and walking into the bathroom. she changed quickly, then paused to look at herself in the mirror as she began brushing her teeth. did matt even like her, or was he only acting this way because she was friends with his brothers? that had to have been the reason. there was no way he felt the same about her. but she couldn't help but think about the way he was looking at her in the kitchen, and how his hand lingered over hers. she sighed, turning off the water and going back into nick’s room. he was already under the blankets, lights off, and scrolling on his phone. he turned it off, turning to face her as addilyn got into the bed.

“our first sleepover,” nick sang, “this is so fun!”

addilyn laughed, making herself comfortable. she loved being friends with nick. they’d only been hanging out for less than two weeks, but they both connected so easily with one another. they both understood one another, and enjoyed the company of each other. nick loved having someone other than his brothers or his teammates to talk to, and addilyn just loved having someone to talk to. “i know.”

despite how tired the girl was when she entered the room, the two teenagers were suddenly wide awake, talking about anything and everything with one another.

“if you had to fight any animal with your bare hands, what would you fight?” nick asked, staring at the ceiling.

“what?” addilyn laughed, looking over at him.

the later and later it got, the more and more they opened up. it was currently 1:30 in the morning, and they were both deep in conversation about nick’s coming out.

“i can’t believe i thought i liked my friend when it was really her boyfriend i liked.” nick told her.

addilyn shook her head. “yeah, that’s kinda crazy.”

“have you ever liked one of your friends?” nick asked, sitting up slightly. she looked up at him, thinking.

she hadn’t had many friends her whole life. she had a couple close people that she’d talk to in class, but never close enough to ever hang out with or talk to outside of school. the only people she talked to outside of school were nick and chris. her mind suddenly went to matt. “i don’t think i have.”

“really?” nick asked her in disbelief. “you’ve never thought someone you hung out with was cute or anything?”

matt.

“no.”

“addy, come on, there’s no way.” nick sighed, laying back down.

“well, maybe.” she felt her voice trail off. she couldn’t tell nick. she wasn’t even sure for herself if she liked matt or if she was just confused. he and chris were the closest thing addilyn had to real friends, and she didn’t want to throw it all away by telling nick she caught feelings for his brother.

“oh my god, tell me!” nick whisper-shouted in excitement, sitting back up again. addilyn laughed and shook her head.

“okay, okay, let me guess.” nick offered, thinking about the boys in the classes they shared together. “david, from art?” addilyn shook her had no.

“liam?” he tried again. she shook her head once more. nick named just about every boy in their class, even began to name random people addilyn didn’t even know that well.

“do i know him?” nick asked.

“yeah,” she breathed quietly.

nick looked at her inquisitively. “it’s not chris, is it?”

“no, no way.” addilyn shook her head. “he’s just my friend, i promise.”

nick looked at her once more, as if he looked hard enough he'd be able to read her mind. he paused, silence falling over the both of them.

his eyes went wide. “matt?”

addilyn stayed quiet. she opened her mouth, then closed it. she couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud.

“addy,” nick said, “do you like matt?”

“i don’t know.” she whispered, turning away from him. he sat up to meet her eyes. “maybe.” he gave her a look once more. “yes.”

she braced herself for the anger. the disappointment. something. but nick just smiled at her. “that’s so exciting!”

she looked at him dumbfounded. “what?”

“i’m serious,” nick started, “you’re so fun to be around, there’s no way he doesn’t like you back. i’ve noticed he’s been acting nicer to you.”

addilyn continued looking at nick like he was crazy. “there’s no way.” she laughed, pulling the covers over herself. “i’m tired, nick, i’m going to bed.”

he laughed, wishing her a goodnight, assuring her once again he didn’t care if she liked his brother, and that he was happy for her. soon after, she heard his soft snores, singling he was asleep. addilyn, however, continued to lay awake, thinking about what she told nick. she couldn’t believe herself, normally she would keep her feelings in, but something in her was off. she wasn’t even sure why she liked matt so much. she barely even knew him, and he didn’t start acting nice to her until a week into their project. it was a small crush, it meant nothing. it wasn’t worth risking her friendship for. she suddenly felt her chest tighten and the instant feeling like she couldn’t breathe. she closed her eyes as the air around her grew thick.

you’re fine. she told herself. nick isn’t mad. you can tell him tomorrow you were kidding. everything will be normal again after the project is done.

she glanced over at nick, making sure he was asleep before she slipped out of bed. she couldn’t lay in her friend's room any longer knowing matt was only down the hall. she softly tore a piece of paper, writing nick a quick note, praying he wouldn’t wake in the middle of the night, and would only see it when he woke up in the morning.

went home to shower and change before school, see you in art!

<3 addy

*₊˚ 𓂃✧

matthew sturniolo,

slept for maybe three hours that night. he couldn’t sleep in his room knowing addilyn was only down the hall. he kept replaying the way their hands brushed as he gave her the backpack earlier.

he felt his fingers lightly graze hers as he passed her the bag. he let them linger for a moment, hoping she wouldn’t notice. she looked down at her feet quickly, taking the bag from matt. their bodies were nearly pressed up against one another. all he wanted was for her to look at him. as if she read his mind, she looked up with a shy smile across her crimson red face. he so badly wanted to close the small gap between them and smash his lips against hers. he didn’t though, only whispering a soft goodnight as he watch her go into nicks room.

he hadn’t stopped thinking of her since his dream. he was obsessed with everything she did. the way she’d twirl her pencil between her pointer and thumb, or the way her brows furrowed as she read. he kept trying to distract himself as he thought about her.

matt had known who she was for a long time, despite addilyn being an “always in the background” kind of person. but the second she stepped foot in his kitchen that day she came over for dinner with her family, he knew it was over.

matt was in the kitchen with chris and nick, arguing about something dumb when she got there. he opened his mouth to say something back to chris, when nick nudged him altering him they had company. matt looked up at addilyn as she stood shyly in the kitchen. chris walked over to introduce himself as matt just started at her. she wore a white cotton dress that hugged her in all the right places, and beat up white chuck taylor’s. matt knew exactly who she was, but he didn’t remember her always looking this pretty.

“i’m chris,” his brother said, sticking out his hand.

she replied to him so softly matt barely heard her. “addilyn.” her voice sounded like honey. matt just looked at her again, before deciding to open his mouth and say “i can’t hear her.”

as matt laid in bed, he stared out his window into her empty bedroom thinking about why he was so mean to her. maybe it was because he liked her the whole time and didn’t want to admit it. sure, she was beautiful, but she wasn’t the kind of girl matt would typically go for. that’s why he was so attracted to her. she was so unlike anyone he’d been with. any girl he’s ever met at a party had been the same. they all seemed to have had the same lives, matt would listen to them talk, then he would tell about himself. that he’s a triplet and he plays hockey and lacrosse with his brothers. that he’s lived in boston his whole life and he loved the outdoors. and that’s how it went every time.

addilyn was different. she didn’t care he was popular, or that he played sports. she was just her normal, quiet, typical self. she wasn’t throwing herself at him, and matt saw her as somewhat unattainable. matt often mistook his attraction to her for a disliking. he felt so guilty about it, but he thought if he was mean, she’d leave him alone and wouldn’t try to get with him. he mentally cursed himself for acting the way he does. if she was already out of his reach, why would he try to drive her even further away?

but that dream he had fucked him up bad. every night since then, he’s thought about it. how soft her hands felt in his, how delicate her voice spoke. how good she kissed him. he wondered if she’d ever kissed a boy before. he secretly hoped she hadn’t, he wanted to be her first. he’d be gentle with her, not rushing her into anything. he’s kissed girls before, but it was always drunk at some party. he never actually liked the girls he kissed, he just wanted them in the moment. and when the moment was over, he went back to his friends and did whatever he was doing before. but addilyn was different, he wanted to kiss her anywhere he could, not just while he was drinking at some random's party.

the light in addilyn’s room turned on, snapping matt out of his daydream. he saw her walk into her room wearing nicks pajamas, walking over to her blinds to close them. he was confused why she walked home, but let it slip his mind. although he knew she couldn’t see him that well, he pretended to sleep anyway knowing she would look into his room. had he not closed his eyes, he would’ve seen the lingering look addilyn gave into his room before she closed her blinds.

© mattscoquette

𝐚/𝐧: thank u so so much for 170 followers <333 the fact u guys r liking this series warms my heart so much bc i was SO nervous to post. this story only has two parts left after this :( that being said, my reqs are open if anyone wants to leave anything b/c i'm not planning on writing anymore stories atm so i have more time to write little oneshots or hcs or whatever, just lmk! as always if anyone wants to join my taglist pls lmk and i hope u all enjoy:)

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @alorsxsturn @sturniolossss @cammie4298 @bussybandit1 @amorttentia @franticroads @sturnsssbow @cams5sos @strombolilovr @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @mattscurlygirly @simply-a-simper @sturnrc @sturnifyed @freshlovie

[silver138]

Perfectly Flawed - Chapter 9

word count - 2.2k

warnings - cursing

Summary: Lina makes plans with Spencer, vetoes another nickname from Derek, and picks an outfit for Friday night.

"And how was your lunch, my lovely?" Penny says as I walk in. 

I grin and say to her, "Pretty good, how about yours?" 

She smiles at me and says, "Oh, not so bad. You ready to knock a few more of these out?" I sit down and get situated, giving her a nod.

After a few more hours of writing reports, it's finally time to go home for the day. Heaving a sigh, Penny hoists her purse onto her shoulder and tells me, "Hopefully, we can have one more day like today, and then have our night out tomorrow."

Holding a hand up and crossing the first two fingers on my hand, I grin and say, "Here's hoping!" We walk to the elevators, talking and laughing as the doors open and we step in. 

As we step out of the elevator and stand to the side, Penny asks, "So, what are you planning for tonight?"

"Oh, I plan on going through my clothes and having my roommate help me pick out an outfit for tomorrow. It's been a while since I've gone out, gotta look cute!" I say with a grin. 

"Aww, that shouldn't be too difficult for you, Dewdrop!" comes Derek's voice from the elevator, as he and Spencer walk out.

"I...'Dewdrop'?!" I splutter out, snorting and laughing. 

Derek sighs, saying, "OK, not 'Dewdrop'...", then looks over at Spencer, who grins, shakes his head, and claps Derek on the shoulder while saying, "Nope, not 'Dewdrop'," then strolling towards the door.

Still laughing, I start walking over to Spencer, while behind me I hear Penny say to Derek, "Sorry, Hot Chocolate. Guess you're gonna have to keep trying." 

I take a deep breath to stop laughing, turn to Derek and Penny and say, "See you guys tomorrow!", then look over at Spencer and ask, "Ready to go, Doc?"

Flushing slightly while still grinning, he nods, and we start to head to the station. "So, what do you do when you don't have work, Doc?" I ask Spencer as we make our way down the sidewalk.

"O-oh, um, the usual, I suppose. Catch up on housework, read, try to relax..." he says, hands in his pockets. "W-why, what do you do on your days off, Lina?" he asks cautiously. 

"The same, I guess. Honestly, I'm wondering because the only person I've really hung out with for the past 3 years has been my roommate Val, and I'm starting to think she's getting sick of me." I say jokingly with a chuckle.

He just looks at me as if trying to calculate a response, so I say, "You know, maybe we could hang out sometime? Outside of work? For fun?" 

He's silent for a few moments, then asks, "What would we do?"

I take a breath and blow it out, saying, "I dunno, go to the library or a book store, or to a coffee shop, just...hang out, talk, whatever...you know?" 

He looks at me for a few seconds, then back down and quietly says, "Yeah, I'd-I'd like that."

I look over at him and smile, then say, "Really? Awesome. Maybe if we don't get a case, did you wanna, I dunno, get some coffee or something on Saturday?" 

He looks at me with a small half-smile and says, "Y-yeah, sounds good."

As we stroll into the station, I notice we still have a few minutes until the Metro is supposed to come in, so I motion to Spencer for us to sit down on a nearby bench. I let my hair out of its ponytail and massage my head while asking Spencer, "Did you want me to get us coffee again tomorrow for the ride in?"

"Y-you don't have to do that, you know." he starts. 

I shrug and say, "I know. But it made the day go a little smoother, right? The work went by a little faster?" 

He gives me a small smirk, then says, "Alright. But I can get it this time, and I'll pay, OK?" I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off, saying, "You can get Saturday if you really want."

I sigh and remark, "I'm not gonna win this one, huh, Doc?" Spencer laughs lightly and shakes his head. I give a short chuckle and say, "Fine. You drive a hard bargain there, Spence." He gives me a large grin while the Metro pulls up, and we head on and find seats.

I send a quick text to Val, asking for her help in picking out an outfit for tomorrow night, then put my phone away and look over at Spencer. "So, what do you like to do, Doc? Other than read, play chess, and drink coffee?" I say with a small half-smile.

"Oh, well, I enjoy playing cards, especially poker; learning different languages, trying out new magic tricks..." he starts. 

"Oh my God, no way, you can do magic?!" I say excitedly. 

He stops for a moment, then smiles and says, "I-yeah, I can do magic. You like magic?"

Big smile on my face, I say, "Well, yeah! Who wouldn't? Magic tricks are fun! Do you think you could show me what you know sometime?" 

Still smiling, he nods and quietly says, "Yeah."

Grinning, I say, "Also, poker, huh? Is that the Vegas in you?" 

Spencer laughs and replies, "Ah, maybe. I'm...kind of banned from a few casinos back in Nevada, though." 

I raise my eyebrows and say, "Oh, you're that good, hmm?" 

He laughs again and says, "Something like that."

"Maybe next time, I could join in, I have a fair bit of luck in that and blackjack," I say with a sly smile. 

Spencer raises his eyebrows at me and says, "Oh, really? Yeah, next time we play, I'll let you know."

I laugh lightly and nod as I signal for my stop. I turn and say, "I'll see you tomorrow, Spence." 

He raises his hand in a wave and replies, "See you tomorrow, Lina." Still grinning, I step off the Metro and start on my way home.   *************

As I enter my apartment, I call out, "Val? You home?" 

I faintly hear her voice from my room. "I started looking for clothes for you!" Her voice gets louder. "Get in here and try these on!" Grinning, I drop my bag on the floor and hang up my coat, kicking my shoes off.

Walking into my room, I see her rooting around in my closet, muttering to herself, with several different clothes on hangers strewn about my bed. "Ah, you are gonna help me put these back, right?" I ask her.

She pops her head out of the closet and says, "What?! Oh, yeah, yeah, just...try those jeans I pulled out, will ya?" while pointing at a pair of dark blue flares on my bed. 

"Uh, yeah, just lemme freshen up first, 'kay?" I say, walking into the bathroom.

After I'm done, I head back in to step out of my work pants and put the jeans on. "OK, now what?" I ask, walking towards the closet. 

"Here, try this on with it." Val's muffled voice says from within the closet, her hand thrusting a red tank top in my direction.

"Ehhh, I dunno, I know it'll be hot in there, but I don't think a tank top..." I start with a whine. 

"Just...try the damned thing on first!" Val retorts, walking out to see how it looks on me. Putting it on it looks nice, a little bow in the middle, the top part of the bust ruched.

"Kinda short, though..." I grumble, trying to pull it down over my stomach. Val sighs, motioning with her hand to give it to her. I take off the top and hand it to her, and she puts it on a hanger and puts it back in the closet.

While she digs around in my closet some more, I head out to where my bag is and put away the books Spencer read today on my bookcase. "Where the hell did you go?!" Val calls out. 

I meander back in, saying, "What? I was putting something away while you were searching."

She sniffs and hands me a hanger with a white peasant top on it. "Oh, this is cute..." I start, as I put it on over my head. I quickly realized that this one is not only too short in the torso but also has a large slit that goes halfway down the shirt, with ribbons that can be tied in the middle.

"Whoa, uh, no. Little too much cleavage there, Val." I say, quickly taking the shirt back off. 

She hums and agrees. "Yeah, but it'll be great if you ever need to breastfeed..." she snarks with a smirk, putting it back on the hanger and burying it in the back of my closet.

While she hunts for another shirt for me to try on, I feel my phone vibrate. A small, dopey grin spreads on my face when I see it's from Spencer.

Hello, Lina. I figured I'd ask you now, what coffee do you want for the morning?

Still grinning, I type my reply:

Heya, Spence. Just a medium hot mocha, nothing fancy. Thank you, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Hitting 'send' and putting my phone away, I'm met with a black shirt shoved under my nose. I look up, and I see Val with a smug smile on her face. "Found something, I think you'll really like it," she says in a sing-song voice.

Taking the hanger from her, I take a look at the shirt. It's another peasant top, only in black. It has a ruffle collar, but it goes straight across. As I pull it down over me, I can see the bottom of it is well past my stomach. And with an edge that's longer in the back, it falls nicely over my hips.

"Oh, nice..." I say quietly, turning around to look at the back in the mirror. 

"Wait, you've got some tags there, lemme get that for ya..." Val says, quickly grabbing a pair of scissors to cut the tags off. 

"Thanks, Vallie..." I say, still examining myself in the mirror.

"Well? Whaddya think?" she says, leaning back on her arms as she sits on the bed. 

I turn to her and say, "I like it! This is mine?!" She nods and stands up, adjusting the collar so it's more off my shoulders.

"There, that should do it..." she says, smoothing out the fabric. 

I turn to look in the mirror, then turn back and ask, "Um, isn't that a little...low? Shouldn't I have it up more?" 

She shakes her head, explaining, "Nah, it lies flat easier this way. As for the cleavage, sorry, girlie, but you could have that in a turtleneck."

"As long as a nip doesn't slip out, you should be golden." she finishes and she starts rummaging in my dresser. 

"Ah, whatcha lookin' for?" I ask. 

I hear a quiet, "Aha!", and Val puts a bra in my hands. "G'head, put that on, see how it looks," she says.

"I-OK..." I say quietly, turning around and taking the shirt and my bra off. 

As I fumble with the bra she handed me, Val snorts and comments, "Y'know, it's not like I haven't seen a pair of 'em before..." 

After adjusting myself into the bra, I put the shirt back on and retort, "Yeah, well, habit, I guess..." I turn around, and Val fusses with the straps of the bra. 

"See, these are clear and matte, so you can have your support without the straps being seen...well, unless someone is all up on you, I guess."

"And, that should hold you in place decently. Go look in the mirror, Lina." she finishes. I look at myself one last time, and the straps work well, I can barely see them. All in all, it's a damn cute outfit.

Smiling, I hug Val and say, "Thank you, Vallie! I better get out of these and prep them for tomorrow, Penelope is gonna drive us and we'll get ready here before heading out. Are you still heading out with Joe for the weekend?"

Val nods, taking the clothes from me and putting them back on hangers, then hanging them over my bedroom door. Putting a tank top on, and slipping into pajama pants and an old t-shirt, I go and grab some Febreeze.

"What are you..." she starts, as I start lightly spraying the clothes. 

"Well, for one, I know I was a little sweaty, so I wanna get rid of that. Also, God only knows how long that's been in my closet." She shrugs and nods.

"Now that that's all settled," I say as I turn to her and set the bottle down on a nearby table. "What're we getting for dinner?" I finish with a smirk.

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Story Masterlist

[mistresskayla-blog1]

Disembodied Souls

Characters: Harry Kennedy x OC Iara Chepi (Guale Native American)

Lyn's Writing Event - Week 3 - Day 18

Part 1.

May 18th: Week 3: Indigenous

Characters: Harry Kennedy x OC Guale Iara Chepi  (ghost lady of the water)

Fandom: Richard Armitage – Harry Kennedy – Vicar of Dibley

The characters of Harry Kennedy and Geraldine Granger were created for television by Paul Mayhew-Archer and Richard Curtis

Word Count: 2k

Location: Savannah, GA – river valley  (modern times)

Warnings: dreams, hallucinations, out of body, consciousness altering, ghosts, anxiety, panic attack, disorientation, kissing,

            Harry and Geraldine had arrived in the US without much incident. The Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta, Georgia  was vast and took some getting used to for Geraldine. Harry was doting and casual as they strode through customs and made it to the rental car. Harry offered to drive, and Geraldine insisted she wanted to learn.

“Harry, I think if I’m going to be here, I should learn something.” Geraldine said.

Harry chuckled, “I just think it might be better if we hired someone to drive us to Savannah”

Geraldine looked at him perturbed, “Do you want to drive?” she queried standing at the rental counter. Harry shrugged and looked at Geraldine with fondness, “No love, I don’t really, but I will if you want me to.” Geraldine smiled, and they kissed in front of the clerk. Geraldine smiled back at the clerk, “Yes, we will need a car, please, thank you.” The clerk finished their reservation and directed them out into a parking lot. Geraldine took the keys and paperwork and Harry walked her out. They walked up the stalls looking for the one marked Kennedy, and placed their bags in the trunk of the car. Geraldine started the car, adjusting the seat and looking at all the gadgets in the dash.

“Oh my, there is a lot here to distract oneself isn’t there. She looked at the smooth paneled screen in the middle of the console, “Oh look Harry you can watch telly on this its so big, my lord.” Harry smiled in a chuckle, “I think we can use it for navigation.” He turned it on, and searched the menu, plugging in the host hotels coordinates. Geraldine had set the keys down in the cup holder and pushed the “start” button by the steering wheel. The engine fired up and she pulled out hesitantly out of the stall.

25 minutes later, they were on the round about highway system in Atlanta, heading southeast towards Savannah. The GPS read out that they would reach their destination in about 4 hours. Geraldine let out a big sigh, “Boy they certainly make a girl travel don’t they?”  Harry nodded, “Yes 4 hours plus the flight, we will have traveled nearly 24 hours since we left home. It will be nice to get some fresh air and a good rest. Good thing we flew in early.” Harry checked the itinerary on his phone, “Your meetings start at 9 am tomorrow.” Geraldine rolled her eyes, “Well at least we can find some dinner on the way,”

They stopped for a bite and made it to their hotel by 10 pm local time. There bodies were worn down and they both crashed in their clothes, flopping down on top of the covers as soon as they entered the room.

---

The next morning Geraldine roused and kissed Harry on the cheek, “Wakey wakey, sleepy head.” Harry groaned and rolled over, “Oh gosh, did we sleep like this all night?” he asked. Geraldine looked at him, “Yeah we did.” Harry stretched and started taking off his jacket, shirt and pants. Geraldine was already dressed and ready. Harry looked at her, “What time is it?” He looked at his watch, realizing he hadn’t shifted it yet, and looked to the nightstand clock. It was 830 am.

Geraldine yawned a bit, and kissed him, “I’m going to grab a spot of breakfast, are you joining me?” she said, looking at him in his shorts, and winking.

Harry looked down at himself, “Best not. I will catch up with you at lunch though, ya?”

Geraldine, “Fair enough. See you then, love you.” Harry blew her a kiss and headed for the shower.

---

After an adequate shower and a change of clothes, Harry headed out of the hotel for a stroll. He had heard there was a lovely park along the river nearby, so he started walking. About a block away is a very large colonial cemetery, Harry walked along its edge, humming a tune that he didn’t know. It was mid-morning, and the sun lit up the place in vibrance. Harry kept walking despite the gates being open for tourists.

Harry continued through the bustle of the city and towards his destination, Emmet Park, a brilliant stroll through large Oak trees, where Spanish moss hung in ominous drafts across the long lateral branches. The park was sparse of people and Harry happily strolled through it. Stopping by one of the large oaks, to rest a bit. He closed his eyes a mere second and fell straight asleep, his head tucking into his chest, his long legs crossed and outstretched, not quite blocking the pathway for others.

Harry looked like a temperance painting propped against the trunk of the tree. The sun went behind the clouds and the moss seemed to grow deeper and grey in the paling of the light. The moss grew closer to him, surrounding him, Harry was dreaming already. Or was he?

Harry saw a lone figure near the edge of the water. She rose from the riverbed, water soaking her clothes, but not sheeting off. She had dark black hair, and hollow eyes. She walked slowly through the park, towards Harry’s sleeping form by the towering old oak. Harry fell deeper into sleep, and his body slumped against the ground to his side. His form flattening the patch of grass he was on. The woman approached him, in her shroud of garments, it matched her greying skin, and Harry could see her, even though his body was asleep. Harry started to panic a bit. How could he be looking at himself, he thought. How was he out of his body?

The sky was billowing white, and the trees were bright green, and the moss was growing, the ominous feeling crept into Harry’s consciousness, making him shudder. Harry’s body still lay slumped on the ground. Passersby gave him no notice. And Harry couldn’t feel his chest, he touched his chest, and he couldn’t feel his heart. But his mind was alive with worry and panic.

He tried to breathe, but he couldn’t feel his breath. He closed his eyes to gather his wits, but that didn’t change what he was feeling, or how he was floating above the scene watching it play out. The woman touched down to the earth, and slowly approached Harry’s limp body. She leaned down, brushing her lips against his, and Harry watched, absolutely horrified and intrigued in the same moment. The moments ticked by, as she moved closer to Harry’s body, and laid against it, rolling him over onto his back. Her dampness wearing a stain against his trousers and shirt. She moaned against him, in a way that wasn’t unnatural to Harry’s boyish ears. It just seemed misplaced in this moment.

She pressed herself further into him, and Harry shuddered as she entered his body, a coarse light opened up from his heart center, and the spectre poured inside him. The light flashed close and left his body intact, although a bit damp.

Harry’s eyes on the ground shot open, and someone was touching Harry’s chest, but it wasn’t Harry. The spectre, the woman was inside Harry’s body now. Their souls were switched, Harry, mouthed the word no, as he was unable to speak. Unable to gasp, unable to pound on his chest and wake himself up from this nightmare. The figure below, that was himself, touched his chest, and smoothed out his shirt, then smiled beguilingly and looked up towards Harry at the branch of the tree. The eyes weren’t Harry’s they flashed a dark grey then to black, then back to brilliant blue, within an instant.

Harry watched himself stand up, stretch and start to walk away, but where was he/she going?

---

Harry started to panic feeling his grip slipping away as his body walked away from him. Then he felt a pull to this new form he was in, it passed through the air like a wind and swept him along, several feet above his now strolling body. He was still connected, an instant of elation swept over him. He could still get back in, if he could figure out how. Now as an incorporeal entity himself thoughts Geraldine’s discussion about the afterlife and souls sprang up, as his new softened form was being more or less dragged down the street by an unseen tether of consciousness.

The Spectre strutted down the street, smiling at various people on the sidewalk, and winking at quite a few people too. Harry cringed to see that, and kept his gaze firm, trying to deduce how to get back into himself. The Spectre heads back in the direction of the hotel, and enters the lobby. Geraldine is in the lobby on a break, looking for Harry. The Spectre sees a large woman looking at Harry expectantly and reacts in a normal fashion, opening Harry’s arms to her. Geraldine hugs Harry appreciatively. And the Spectre whispers into Geraldine’s ear, but Harry cannot hear it from his place above them. He watches Geraldine stiffen, and then look at Harry disapprovingly. Harry puts his non-existent hand to his nonexistent face in wonder.

Geraldine steps away from Harry, trying to smile, “Harry, we can’t. I still have more meetings to go to, maybe later, you cad,” that gorgeous smile of hers ringing through. Harry melted from above, he really loved that lady. The Spectre must have said something graphic, he wished he knew what it was.

Geraldine took Harry by the hand and led him to lunch. Geraldine watched as Harry looked at the food with such eagerness, and watched everyone around them, eating slowly and savoring bites. “Harry, are you sure you are alright?” Geraldine asked.

The Spectre looked at her, “yeah, yes, I think the fresh air made me, more hungry”, he responded. Harry could hear that from above and realized that the Spectre must have been without a vessel for sometime and was now reveling in being able to do human things again.

Harry thought to himself, “I guess that is kind of sweet, although disrespectful to take someone’s body like this.”

The group finished lunch, Geraldine gave Harry a brisk kiss, and then headed for a conference room. The Specter, putting her hand in Harry’s pocket found a key card, looked at it puzzled and decided to wander around the hotel a bit. Harry floating above her/him, them, tried to think how to get them to talk to him. How could he communicate to them. Could he lure them to a mirror or a room or something?

“Think, Harry think. There has got to be a way to get their attention”

The Spectre looked up at the ceiling then, locking eyes with Harry, and grinning devilishly, the eyes shifting again to black. Harry shuddered, knowingly. The Spectre found a staircase and walked up it, opening doors and walking through corridors calmly. Harry of course followed without preamble. Harry tried to think if there was a way to talk to it through his mind, presuming that his body still had some grasp of that. Figuring it was the thought that brought about the response, he was hopeful, and told the Spectre to use the card to get into the room down the hall. Harry noticed they were on the correct floor for his and Geraldine’s room.

The Spectre nodded and removed the key card from Harry’s pants pocket, Harry though hard to indicate to hold it up along the door handle. The door clicked and the Spectre turned the handle slowly, entering the room. The Spectre looked around, as if expecting to see someone else in there. Harry kind of chagrinned, the Spectre set the key card down on the dresser and stood facing the mirror. Harry was hovering above it, and somehow, he felt the ability to just shift down to the floor, near it at least.

(part 2 in the new week)

Taglist: @scariusaquarius

@enchantzz @sweetestgbye @middleearthpixie @legolasbadass @lathalea @riepu10 @evenstaredits @amylupotter

[puroresu-musings]

NJPW WRETLE KINGDOM 17 in Tokyo Dome REVIEW (Jan 4th, 2023)

Ryohei Oiwa vs. Oleg Boltin  N/R

King Of Pro-Wrestling Title 2023 Right To Challenge New Japan Rambo

  **1/2

Antonio Inoki Tribute Match - Tatsumi Fujinami, Minoru Suzuki & Tiger Mask vs. Togi Makabe, Yuji Nagata & Satoshi Kojima  **1/2

IWGP Jr. Tag Championship - TJP & Francesco Akira (c) vs. YOH & Lio Rush  ****

IWGP Women's Championship - KAIRI (c) vs. Tam Nakano  ***3/4

IWGP Tag Team Championship - FTR (c) vs. Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI  ****1/4

NJPW World TV Championship Tournament Final - Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Ren Narita  ****

NEVER Openweight Championship - Karl Anderson (c) vs. Tama Tonga  ***1/4

Keiji Muto NJPW FINAL MATCH - Muto, Tanahashi & Umino vs. Naito, SANADA & BUSHI  ***

IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship 4-Way - Taiji Ishimori (c) vs. El Desperado vs. Hiromu Takahashi vs. Master Wato  ****

IWGP United States Championship - Will Ospreay (c) vs. Kenny Omega  *****

IWGP World Heavyweight Championship - Jay White (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada  ****1/4+

Photos.

Happy New Year one and all! Well, my first review on here in years is of the first New Japan show in years that actually felt like New Japan! This was a tremendous show that, despite its 6 hour runtime, was a breeze to watch. Pretty much every match was a sprint until the Double Main Event, and it was full of great to outstanding action. As well as being the first Wrestle Kingdom since 2020 to have actual cheering and a hot crowd. Which created quite the environment.

The pre-show section was fine, but nothing special really. It kicked off with a 3 minute exhibition match Young Lions Oiwa, and the debuting Olympian, Oleg Boltin. This was solid stuff, but much too brief to take anything away from, other than both guys looked really good. Oleg got a near fall with a big slam as the 3:00 time limit expired. Next up was the warm January 4th comfort blanket that is the New Japan Rambo. This was a fun but unspectacular battle royal, much like we’ve come to expect. There weren’t any surprises, and it came to an end at 30:37, when Shingo and SHO (who entered 1st) lastly eliminated El Phantasmo. The final four all “win” and go through to KOPW Title Decision Match at New Year’s Dash tomorrow. The other two winners were Toru Yano (to the surprise of no one), and Great-O-Khan (ditto). Then it was time for the Inoki Tribute Match, as 69 year old living legend Tatsumi Fujinami, who’s impossible good for his age, teamed with Minoru Suzuki and Tiger Mask IV, in a losing effort to historic NJ Dojo graduates, Makabe (who I haven’t seen wrestle in forever), and the still great duo of Kojima and Nagata. This was decent enough for what it was, though it did feature some dodgy looking old dude action, but it was a nice, feel-good nostalgia fest, and I’m not complaining that we got to see any of these guys on the show. Everyone came out in the patented Inoki red towel. The finish fell apart though as Tiger tried (and failed) to do a jumping victory roll on Makabe, time stood still for a minute, then Togi effectively just sat on him and got the win for his team in 9:10. Fujinami did the Inoki “Ichi, Ni, San, DAAAAAH!” catchphrase in the post match.

The main show kicked off in grand fashion as Catch 2/2 defended their IWGP Jr Tag Titles against YOH and Lio Rush in a great little opener. This kicked off a theme of this show, which is matches clocking in at 10 minutes or under, and generally being super fun sprints. This started off hot with YOH wiping the champs out with a topé as they made their entrance, but the champions retaliated by taking Rush out with an elevated facebuster on the ramp, which busted him open. Lots of hot back and forth action culminated in the challengers hitting TJP with the 3K, but Akira broke it up. From there, YOH went for the Direct Drive, but TJP turned it into a small package to reatin the belts at the 10:29 mark. KAIRI’s first defence of the IWGP Women’s Title was next, as she took on Tam Nakano in a really good little sprint. Let’s get the negative out of the way first; this only went around 6 minutes. But, it was a s good a 6 minute match as you’ll ever see! It was all-action, they exchanged strikes, Tam hit a big dive to the floor and scored a great near fall with the Violet Screwdriver. KAIRI came back with a near fall of her own after a Cutlas spinning back fast. She hit another Cutlas, followed by the Insane Elbow to retain her title. The post match is what will make the most news, however, as the former Sasha Banks, now going by Mercedes Moné made her way to the ring, sporting a bit of a different look. She also had some badass, The Chronic era vibe entrance music. After a staredown, she laid KAIRI out with... some move, declared herself the “CEO of the women’s divison”, then challenged her to a title match in San Jose in February. Moné very much came across as a star here.

More tag gold was on the line next, as Heavyweight champs FTR defended against Bishamon. This was an excellent match, and even only going 10:10, was a fast-paced hard-hitter, that managed to be better than I anticipated. Wheeler hit big dives to the floor, and the champions scored great near falls with a Power Plex and Spike Piledriver. After an exciting closing stretch, the challengers hit Shoto on Harwood, and YH scored the win and the titles for his team. I know there’s a lot of speculation about FTR’s future at the moment, but they’ve been nothing short of fantastic in the last year, and I personally feel there’s still a lot more for them to do in Japan. The inaugural NJPW World TV Champion was crowned next as a newly blonde ZSJ faced off against The Son Of Strong Style, Ren Narita in, you guessed it, another great sprint. These 15 minute time limit matches really are a ton of fun, and this was no different; a compelling combination of hard strikes and submission grappling. Zack worked over Narita’s arm throughout to prevent the Overhead Suplex, which payed off as during a grappling exchange he caught him in a Jujigatame, and Ren quickly tapped to give Sabre Jr. the title in 10:32. The post match saw Shane Haste and Mikey Nicholls come out, who were ZSJ’s old mates in NOAH. They handed Zack a TMDK shirt, which he put on and appeared to declare himself the leader. It’s worth pointing out that during his entrance, Zack demanded that “dickhead” Rishi Sunak pay nurses fairly, and quite frankly I couldn’t agree more! But back to wrestling...

Tama Tonga rescued the NEVER title from Sports Entertainment oblivion in the next match, as he defeated WWE Superstar Karl Anderson in a fun match. To his credit, The Machine Gun put in some actual rare effort here, and Tama took some nasty bumps early, including a Bernard Driver on the ramp. The finish saw Tonga get near falls with a big splash and second rope Gun Stun, before scoring the win at 9:36 with another Gun Stun (which Anderson botched the bump for, but whatever). This benefitted from me having absolutely zero expectations going in, so I was pleasantly surprised here. Next was the final match in NJPW of one of the all-time greats, as the on-the-retirement-run Keiji Muto teamed with standout student Hiroshi Tanahashi, and potential “future ace” Shota Umino, to take on the LIJ Muto Fan Club of Naito, SANADA and BUSHI. From an in-ring perspective, this was likely the weakest match on the card, as nobody really did anything (except SANADA hitting the Moonsault on Muto in the early going to get a really close nearfall), but the crowd were super hot for Muto, and it helped the match greatly. This finishing stretch saw Tanahashi hit BUSHI with Sling Blade, the Natural Born Master followed up with a Shining Wizard, and Umino put the masked man away at 9:20 with the Death Rider. They all posed and left to Muto’s entrance theme in the post match. The IWGP Jr. Title was on the line next in a 4-way. This was something of a disappointment I feel, but still a great match. It was certainly all-action, but I don’t know, something just wasn’t clicking for me in this for a while. They all worked hard and hit the crazy multiman spots throughout, and Hiromu and Despy had a really great exchange later on. Things really picked up at the end, when Wato went on a tear, scoring numerous believable near falls with his Recietemente Crucifix Bomb, and had the 26,085 in the Dome believing he could pull off the miracle here. He scored another brilliant near fall when he hit a massive Everest German on Hiromu, but the miracle wasn’t to be as Takahashi escaped a Dragon Tiger Suplex, and hit Time Bomb II on Wato to regain his beloved Belt-San in 16:43. During this match it was announced that Naito and the LIJ guys got into a heated exchange backstage with Kenoh’s KONGO faction from NOAH, which is super interesting.

Things were kicked up a notch in the next match, and it finally felt like a classic Wrestle Kingdom show, as Will Ospreay defended his US Title against Kenny Omega in a dream match. This was just outstanding, and ended up being a completely different style to what I’d anticipated. This was a heated, super stiff, bloody war. Omega (complete with added Don Callis) returned to NJPW for the first time in 4 years, to take out the man who “took his spot”, and Ospreay, who came out as the Ariel Assassin of old, was there to beat the hell out of the guy who abandoned the company 4 years ago. This was a classic grudge match, and featured some insane action that was sometimes hard to watch. There were moments I actually feared someone was going to get seriously hurt, but thankfully that didn’t happen. Omega, who worked totally as the heel here, worked over Ospreay’s famously injured neck and back, including landing a double stomp off the apron onto Ospreay’s back whilst a table was draped over it, which culminated in him bleeding from the back. Ospreay fought back with stiff punches which caused omega’s right eye to swell shut, hitting a brainbuster on the upturned table, and then a big Skytwister Press to the floor. Kenny removed the corner pad, exposing the buckles, which both guys took bumps into. Things got crazy as Will went for a Spanish Fly, but Omega countered it into a top rope DDT onto the exposed buckle, which was insane, and Ospreay juiced heavily from the head. After teasing a countout, Kenny hit the Terminator Dive and a Cactus Jack Piledriver in the ring for a near fall. Omega began obliterating him with Snap Dragon’s and V-Triggers, before hitting a horrifying Croyt’s Wrath from the top. Ospreay hit a couple of stiff looking Hidden Blade’s to put Omega down, and scored a great near fall with a Springboard Oscutter. After a Styles Clash, Ospreay got another near fall with another Hidden Blade. However, Kenny escaped a Storm Breaker, hit a Tanahashi straigh jacket suplex, then followed that up with Kamigoye after a defiant Ospreay spat at him. Omega then hit the One Winged Angel to win the US Belt for a second time, and end this classic war at 34:38. Fantastic stuff, and I certainly hope there’s more to come here.

Then it was time for the second half of the Double Main Event. Rare is the day that I think to myself “Okada’s going to have a tough time following that”, but today was that day. Realistically, it was never going to happen, and as much as I love both White and Okada, the build to this match did nothing for me, and I’ve just seen enough of them. Regardless, this was still an excellent match, complete with all the intricate counters and big spots we’ve come to expect from an Okada main event. But I must admit it took a long time getting there. Okada, who was wearing Inoki inspired garb, broke out a huge senton atomico off the top to the floor on both Jay and Gedo, the big dropkick, and hit the sit-out Tombstone, followed by a Rainmaker, but Jay caught him in a Blade Runner, which is exactly how he beat Okada for the World Title at Dominion, but this time Okada kicked out to a big pop. This ultimately was White’s downfall, as the story was that he started to lose it after Okada kicked out of his finish. Jay tried a Rainmaker-inspired Blade Runner, however the challenger countered and hit a big Rainmaker, but the champion got a shoulder up at 2.99. After a dramatic forearm exchange, Okada connected with a ripcord Enzugiri, hit the champion with his own Blade Runner, then followed up with Tiger Flowsion, and a definitive Rainmaker to regain the World Championship at the 33:03 mark.

The post match saw an interesting moment where White at first refused to give up the belt, then they had a brief staredown, before Jay was dragged for the Dome despondent by Gedo. Shingo Takagi then came out, rightly pointing out that he never did a rematch after losing the belt a year ago, and threw his proverbial hat in the ring as Okada’s first challenger, which was accepted. And in an ultimately fitting move, a show that was dedicated to the late Antonio Inoki ended with the modern day Inoki victorious, and sending everyone home happy with the “Ichi, Ni, San, Daaaah!” catchphrase. All in all, this was easily the best Dome show since 2020, and it very much felt like a return to greatness for New Japan. A must watch.

NDT

[unic0rnsandmurder]

On New Year's Eve, instead of sharing #OneGoodThing, I share #TwelveGoodThings, one for each month of the year:

1. For the 20th year running, my husband is my top good thing. He drives me crazy and we often want to strangle each other but he makes me laugh every day and he keeps getting handsome every year and there's nothing I love better than making him laugh.

2. 13yo, my snarktastic teen. This kid is so funny and wonderfully weird and he reminds me on a daily basis what writing is supposed to be like. There is nothing I love better than talking about storytelling with him. How did I get so lucky to have this boy as my eldest?

3. 10yo, my sweet and analytical 4th grader. There is nothing I love better than answering his questions about the meaning of things. How did I get so lucky to have this boy as my youngest?

4. Tivo and The Dude, the noble greyhound and the laziest cat in Milwaukee county. Whether Tivo is leaning on me or Dude is sitting on me or I am simply brushing their hair off my sweaters, I am constantly reminded of how good it is to have four-footed family members.

5. My sister is the best. My lifelong partner in crime is my favorite podcasting partner and my favorite person to share pop culture obsessions with and I feel lucky I get to have her as a sister. Also, she sends the best no-context David Tennant and Michael Sheen thirst trap images via text.

6. Writing. I broke through a years-long creativity block this year, thanks to Rhonda Douglas who helped me get it through my stubbornly thick skull that rough drafts are *supposed* to be rough. I am back in touch with the fun of writing for the first time in years.

7. AO3. 2023 destroyed one of my oldest snobberies: fanfiction. While I regret my 40 years of looking down on fanfic, I couldn't be happier about finally being introduced to this vibrant part of the writing community.

8. My career. I get to write for a living! I will always be grateful for this.

9. Judaism. I am so thankful for my faith tradition with its open-ended questions, its rituals, its humor, its light, and its food.

10. Good friends. We spend every New Year's Eve with our old friends from Lafayette. I [theoretically] discuss books with my book club ladies every month. My college friends are no longer just down the hall, but we see each other as often as we can and we still can talk for hours about everything and nothing. Friends bring such warmth and sparkle and comfort and joy.

11. Movies. We started a weekly family movie night tradition this year after I realized that sharing films is my love language. Watching movies with my best beloveds is a singular joy.

12. New beginnings. Tomorrow starts a new year. Next month I will turn another year older. Each day is another opportunity for all of us to start anew or create a better future. We constantly get new chances to make the world we want to live in.

On this last evening of 2023, what's your #OneGoodThing today?

[priscila-runs]

Week 4 micro log to observe, track, adjust my daily activities. I’d like to do this again next week because week 4 has been FUNKY. Our fridge broke down at the beginning of august and much to our absolute surprise and dismay, the property manager replaced it with a critter-infested fridge. This means that for the past couple weeks we’ve had roaches Trojan horse their way into our kitchen and personal space lol. Not good. We threw out most of the opened containers and saved what we could in coolers while we waited for a new fridge (which was a battle bc landlords in TX are not fun) and in the meantime took to eating out a lot, which, to no one’s surprise, led to very few affordable and healthy meals. A heartbreak for its own reasons. It’s been an interesting adventure. Fast forward ⏩ again to today and we are now in the clear with a new fridge and (fumigated) reclaimed personal space lol. Keep in mind that my log below was in the midst of this funhouse adventure.

Monday morning: exhausted, did not have the energy to wake up at 5AM. I think it’s because my LR was yesterday (like every Sunday so far), and I went to bed at 10:30, an hour and a half late! Ran my five miles at lunchtime today on the treadmill with great success! One perk of the treadmill is that it keeps you right on pace. Had sweet potato, beans and rice bowl with pumpkin seeds, spinach and lemon salad for dinner at a place called Honest Mary’s. Will try again for their wide variety of other bowl options.

Tuesday: Last night went to bed at 9:30, score. Woke up at 5:10, it’s now 5:15AM and I’m feeling much better than I did yesterday morning but muscles definitely a little tight. 3 miles today.

Tues night: actually just ran 1 mile bc groin area felt strained. I started feeling hesitant about running hard so I turned back. Going to bed at 9:30 and doing a tempo workout tomorrow. I promised myself that I will adjust my schedule THIS WEEK.

Wed morning: woke up less tired at 5:15. Headed out the door at 5:35 and did a tempo workout with just coffee. 🥵 I’m starting to get a hold of my Wednesday morning routine, which is good bc it’s the one I want to prioritize bc Wednesday is speed day.

Wednesday night successfully went to bed at 9PM!

Thursday morning woke up at 5:30, crap. But went out the door by 5:45 giving me plenty of time to do three miles at 8 min pace. Tumble 22 for dinner. I’m not aware of fried chicken sandwiches being on a dietitian’s meal plan 🤷‍♀️ but I fkn love fried chicken sandwiches so I said what the hell. At least I subbed the fries for potato salad 😇 It was a very enjoyable meal.

Friday: feeling great this morning. Five miles at 8:25 pace 🥵 Pizza for dinner! Ate the crust, which, I’m ashamed to admit, is a new endeavor for me.

Saturday. Today is dad’s birthday so I’m driving to see the family and celebrate. Hoping to do a long run there but his town is so small that I’d probably need to loop the town and back to do the full 12 miles. Rest day today.

Sunday: I surprised my dad with a margarita machine for his 60th birthday party. It was a blast until I realized it was midnight. I went to bed and while I did not do my long run (sad) I did wake up at 4AM to watch the Perseid meteor shower on the trampoline in complete solitude. One thing I love about the hill country is the night sky. Star gazing is an activity I’ve always treasured here for as long as I can remember. Therefore, the timing of my trip on the night of the showers was perfect. Those 30 minutes were remarkable.

I DIGRESS.

I adjusted my schedule this week per my promise to self. I now have speed days on Thursdays, rest day on Mondays and easy runs on Wednesdays. Hopeful that this adjustment will give me room to breathe during the work week and allow Thursdays the crucial concentration needed for building speed 😈 Gave the Hoka Mach 5s a try and they are great for long runs 👌 however, my Nike Pegasus, which I’ve had for a year or so, are the darlings✨ Wide toe box yet narrow, and not a lot of heel height, perfect for my silly little overpronating feet.

I’m curious about trying a pair of Mizunos next. Anyone out there tried?

[lorewhorebloodfreak]

Word count: 2332

Fic below cut

October 6

Dean told me to “shut it and stick it in a diary” today. I don’t know what I am supposed to say here, but the teenage girls in Sam’s movies usually put in the names of boys they like. I will try that.

Dean

Dean Danger Winchester (is that really his middle name? note to ask Sam later)

Dean + Cas 4eva

Samuel

Castiel Winchester <3

Bobby?

Dean Dean Dean

I realize I do not like most boys. They say God is a boy, but He doesn’t seem to like me much. He won’t even answer as I search for Him.

October 7

I showed Dean the diary like he told me to write yesterday. He said it was just sarcasm. He said “not like that” when I showed him yesterday’s page. His face turned red, but didn’t look like his usual anger.

Sam said it’s not a bad idea, but he did laugh at me. I don’t understand. He told me used to keep diaries in college but he called them “journals,” which I assume is what adult men call their diaries. I don’t want to call mine a journal.

Tomorrow we start the long drive to Washington. There’s a rumored bigfoot near Mount Saint Helens. Probably another wendigo, Sam thinks. Dean hopes it’s the real sasquatch. I hope so, too, for Dean’s sake. At the least it’s a better distraction than demons.

Six campers are missing with only some remains found in the area— not enough to account for everyone gone. State troopers suspect a rogue grizzly bear, but those don’t attack unprovoked, especially so many at once. I don’t believe the bears scream or leave remains at the tops of thin trees.

I learned through research that bigfoots are also locally named St’ Iyahama (Umatilla), See’atco (Coast Salish), and Ste-ye-hah’mah (Yakama), though are often known by a coined Halkomelem name, Sasquatch. Many people were well aware of the strength and size of the bigfoots as long as they have lived here, but campers in the area won’t stop interfering with its hunting. I suspect it’s no coincidence these tourist campers didn’t bother heeding the many, many warnings ahead of them.

I notice despite Sam’s research, he never cares to use language accurate to the localized category of monster. It would save him time and energy but he is too stubborn to be bothered. The boy is an abomination.

October 9

The road so far has been bumpy with wind and rain. The mountains have been rough. It would have been far easier to teleport, but Dean insists on driving. He reminded me, “last time you zapped me someplace, I didn’t poop for a week!” but I do not think this is true. “We’re driving,” he insisted.

Sam says he is afraid of flying, but Dean had no problem with my wings when I raised him from perdition. He is impossible to argue with.

We stopped in a motel the first night and stayed in the Impala the second night. I notice Sam takes longer to fall asleep and gasps awake some nights. Dean is more interesting. He is more peaceful despite his disposition. He sleeps silently, scrunching his limbs but melting his furrowed facial features.

We got into town tonight. The rooms here are all washed in lurid orange light from the signs. Sam checked into the motel while Dean and I started walking to the diner nearby. He stopped me as we walked in.

When he grabbed my coat, he started to say something. Too soon, a waiter interrupted us before he could finish. Then Sam got here and he’d swallowed back whatever it was he wanted to say.

“Listen to this,” Sam had said. As though we had any choice as he immediately launched into a dialogue about what he gathered from journalists and police reports and public information officers and whoever he had run into in the meantime.

We walked through Sam’s research on what is attacking people in the forest here for what seemed like hours. His voice grates on me, but as the diner emptied out and I noticed the severs’ nervous looks, we finally headed back for the night.

Local humans have documented these similar beasts for centuries, but colonizers never feared them until they came for them personally. Some campers regularly look for it and others even formed a field researcher organization. The settlers here have even renamed the creature “Bigfoot” and claimed it as a protected species and State Monster. The dead humans must have found a den.

I do not understand how these people can grow attached to even the things that will kill them. They sacrifice everything in the name of love and trust their demons over themselves. At least Dean is not like that. He’s a hunter. They’re different.

October 10

PICK UP:

20 yds rope

4 large nets

6 cases empty shotgun shells

Pie

M&Ms

Snacks

Sam’s sunscreen

Caffeine pills

Tent for four

PIE

No news on how to kill a “bigfoot.” Dean sent me to collect a list of supplies to camp out this evening. The three stores I checked did not have pie. He is not happy.

He and Sam began putting the tent together when we reached the last sighting of the campers. Dean did not understand my clear explanations so he took the instructions from me. I was sent to keep watch over the area instead.

I hear only small mammals shuffling in bushes, and recognize the occasional call of a Pacific screech-owl. I spotted some fascinating little fungi and plants on some of these trees. I gently removed this.

It’s some kind of non-epiphytic lichen, I think, but I can’t identify it. I will ask Sam for some books on identification when we leave this place.

We have been waiting for dark for three and a half hours now. I feel like bait some nights, even with my grace. I wonder if this is how Sam felt starting the apocalypse. Maybe.

Dean keeps watching me as I write like he is going to ask what is in my diary again. I still wonder what he was going to say last night, but he is cleaning and taking apart his weapons more aggressively than usual. I’ll just stand here.

October 11

I spent last night on watch while Dean and Sam slept. Mostly Sam slept, while Dean just rolled around in his sleeping bag with the occasional grunt.

The day has been quiet, although I am learning Dean does not know how to adequately pack camping supplies. I do not know how he has survived camping before. Most mortals require strength to carry out missions. [insert something witty & biblical]. Dean claims to only require candy and a loaded gun. Sam, unfortunately, is a better planner but did not do much better. I will have to send them on their way with better rations if they are to survive another battle, let alone Lucifer’s own war.

Sam gets, as Dean once put it, “hangry.” With nothing but candy and snack foods, he is already experiencing a sugar crash. He and Dean have been at it for an hour and finally agreed on most of a plan to ambush the bigfoot. I chimed in occasionally with mediation and suggestions, but I have never found myself preparing to hunt a protected mammal before. They are hardly looking at each other after the argument, but by evening’s end will be depending on each other for protection. This is going to be a long night.

I find myself wondering why I came, but remember Dean suggested it— that I take a break to refresh my eyes. I am millions of years old and have observed humanity from long before they were human. My mind will never be fresh.

Then, Sam added he wanted an extra set of hands on this one, I suppose. I have already disobeyed heaven for them; what worse can I do hunting another one of my father’s creations?

The plan is finally worked out. By our estimates, the bigfoot’s hideout is just north of here. We’ll track it there. Sam will head in first, armed, and catch its attention to lead the bigfoot follow him out where Dean and I will be waiting to ambush it.

I do not know where to start.

Dean stabbed me again.

Bigfoot grabbed me tonight. I knew I should have moved, but Dean stabbed it straight through me. Sometimes the look in his eyes is as deadly as the monsters he hunts.

When Sam went in, he decided he could take the bigfoot on his own, and he did, but in his recklessness did not realize it had a mate inside which we would have known if he could follow a plan without trying to prove himself stronger every time. The mate got his arm pretty badly before he lured it out. It was too incensed to be ambushed and managed to snatch me before either of the men could get to it first.

We just got back to the hotel. How Sam takes five minute showers still dripping his own blood but Dean needs 57 minutes to wash some dirt off his arms… I do not understand these men.

I must think for a while.

October 13

It’s nearly 4am. Sam drifted away more easily tonight. He uneasily delivered an apology on Dean’s behalf, clearly without consulting him first. I hardly heard him, but it was clearly an empty placation. What happened didn’t really matter, anyway. I am a multidimensional being and my purpose is divine. A bigfoot-blood-soaked-knife-through-the-heart and a mortified look from Dean cannot harm me.

I noticed Sam approached Dean several times in hushed tones through the night. I left them their space.

Something about what happened sticks to me like caramel, getting caught in my teeth and throat (Dean insisted I try some last week; note to look into why humans enjoy the worst textures in their mouths). It’s not the first time Dean stabbed me, and it might not be the last. I am an angel of the Lord. I am not a common man.

Dean gave me a look and I knew I shouldn’t teleport out of the creature’s grip. The long blade sunk into my chest like a steak knife into fresh bread. I felt my coat catching first, realizing what Dean was doing before even he did. It surprised the creature and its tough fingers gripped tight before going slack.

I remember sensing the blade sink in slow motion and the warm, wet sensation as it slipped through skin, then muscle, then notched my body’s sternum. (I will have to wash my clothes tomorrow.) Then, it slipped deeper, just barely chiseling a small but would-have-been-deadly gash through the heart, passing straighter through my back and deep into the creature grasping me. Straight through the muscle that would have kept this body alive if I was human. I remember the foreign sensation of metal and blood penetrating this chest and how easily the arm behind it could drive a perfectly precise pressure into the being melting beside us.

Most of all, I remember Dean’s face, realizing what he had done.

The determination in his eyes, a flash behind his unexpectedly long lashes like lightning in the pines, and then regret. His soft brows jumped and grip fell lax as the bigfoot fell, taking me down with it. I felt nothing but did not process the impulse choice quickly enough to brace myself against the creature’s weight.

At that moment, Dean must have thought he’d harmed me, and that’s why he seemed regretful. That's all.

Still, even as he reached to pick me up, something changed. He remained silent aside from mumbling my name, but appeared to have realized something. I think I did, too.

My true form surpasses the size of the Eiffel Tower. Why do I feel so small?

The rest of today was relatively quiet. Dean, again, spent an unnecessary amount of time cleaning his weapons after dinner while Sam stared intently into his laptop. I still don’t understand what Sam does all the time on the internet when so much of his information comes from newspapers and books, and Dean comes up with just as much information without it. Maybe Sam enjoys the naked cartoon women, too. He did help me identify the lichen this evening, though. I found some excellent others in his book that I will hope to find next time I find myself with free time. Maybe after the war I will take a nice walk in a bigfoot-free forest.

Dean caught my eyes a few times, but he has been looking at me differently. He makes me care more than I intend to. He also tempts me to give in to sloth. Unfortunately, I have been living disgracefully for some time anyway. I cannot count the times I have been ordered to break the sixth commandment on Heaven’s behalf. I cannot win this battle with my sins.

October 14

Today was uneventful. Sam’s arm has been healing well. Dean found a case just outside Coeur D'Alene, Idaho this afternoon. Looks like a vampire problem. I will watch over them tonight, then must keep looking for God. This has been an almost welcome break from my search.

We left about 4 hours ago, and have 3 hours to get to the next hotel. Dean’s music is far too noisy, but it’s growing on me. Sam is nodding off in the car, and I feel a twinge of something I don’t understand at the thought of leaving again.

I made sure to get extra food and beer at the convenience store when Dean got gas earlier. They do not seem to drink water, but neither did their father. A Winchester will be the death of me, I know it.

I do not experience longing, but if I did, it must feel something like this.

Dear Diary, Dean Stabbed Me Again

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: Gen, M/M

Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Characters: Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Bigfoot

Additional Tags: Implied Destiel, Castiel’s diary, Autistic!cas, angel!cas, Team Free Will

Language: English

Summary: When a snarky remark from Dean prompts Cas to start a diary, we get to learn his daily thoughts and tidbits about his day. Team Free Will chases a rumored Bigfoot through a Pacific Northwest forest, their camping trip goes horribly wrong, and we have to hope Cas can forgive Dean for looking him right in the eyes and stabbing him.

Notes: Thank you to @spriteofmushrooms for the incredible artwork to go with this fic and to the creators of @deancas-stabfest for a great inspiration!

[mr-and-mr-diaz]

I just. I just thought about Eddie holding baby Jee-Yun? And singing to her while she clutches at his finger with her tiny meaty baby hand??

Maybe Buck freaked out a little because she was being fussy and wouldn't settle, and its probably nothing but hey, who better to call than Eddie, who conveniently has the day off and cuts off Buck's panicked rambling with a soothing;

"Its okay, Buck. Give me ten minutes, okay? You're doing great. She's probably just restless."

Eddie gets there and sends Buck off to cook dinner or shower or take a nap, scooping Jee-Yun out of her travel crib and making sure she's changed, warm, fed and content. And its been so long since Christopher was this tiny, but holding Jee-Yun makes him think back to that tiny, wriggly little bundle in his arms for the first time, back before it all went to shit.

Eddie pacing slowly around the lower loft, singing quietly, tickling her little chin, grinning when she giggles and gurgles at him. And he can see so much of Maddie and Chimney in her already. She's got Maddie's eyes and Chimney's lopsided grin.

(And for a little crack, maybe Buck catches this scene and is so overwhelmed he just blurts out; "put a baby in me!" And Eddie is like; "... What?" 👁👄👁 Which cues a hilariously awkward but heartfelt confession of feelings on both sides.)

Hey hey! So I like I told you I started this a while ago and then got SEVERE AND DEBILITATING writers block, and it sat waiting for new life. And then 5x03 happened, so Hello, new life! I hope you love it!

With You, My Life, I Will Get Married

Warning: mild spoilers for 9-1-1 season 5 episode 3.

Chimney was out searching for Maddie.

After shifts, on weekends, whenever he had a second, he was either spending time with Jee or out searching for her mom.

In times when he was on the search everyone at the 118 was making time to watch Jee Yun. Mrs. Lee was doing what she could, but couldn't always be available, and when that happened, Jee would spend some time at Bobby and Athena's or by Hen and Karen. And when they had too much going on, or when either of the uncles felt like they weren't getting enough time with their beautiful niece, she would spend time at her Uncle Buck's or Uncle Albert's.

Uncle Buck got lucky this time.

Eight hours in and everything had gone wrong. Buck shoulders were damp with spit-up, baby drool, and snot and all Jee seemed capable of doing was crying, crying, crying.

"I'm so sorry! I don't know what I did wrong, and, and now--just, Jee, please, it's okay, I'm here--!"

She continued to yell and Buck got more and more panicked. "Your Uncle Albert's gonna be here in like 5 minutes, Jee, okay? And then, maybe, maybe he's better with you? And will make you happy, and then--Oh God, what have I done wrong--"

A knocking at the door sent him back on his feet, swaying toward the loft entrance. It opened before he could get there, however, and he stopped where he was, a furious Jee Yun screaming in his ears as Eddie Diaz, not Albert Han, walked in.

"You look like you're having fun." Eddie's eyebrow was raised and his mouth quirked in a teasing smile.

"Eddie...?" Buck's momentary shock was interrupted as Jee let out another wail. "Um, sorry, this isn't the best time at the moment, but Albert--"

"--has a date tonight and sent me as his relief." Eddie reached out and plucked Jee Yun from Buck's arms. "And you have a date with your shower and a few hours' sleep."

"I--no, it's okay, I know you just got off shift--"

"Buck." Eddie shifted Jee to one arm, and the other rested on Buck's chest, over his pattering heartbeat. He met Buck's eyes, his own calm despite the bundle of adorable chaos still screaming bloody murder into his shoulder. "Go shower."

"...Yeah, okay."

***

She truly was one of the cutest babies, even when she was liable to wake up the neighborhood with her noise, Eddie thought with a smile as he re-seated her over one shoulder and began to firmly but gently tap her back.

"Your Tio Eddie is going to assume this is a gas issue, okay, chiquita? Christopher used to have this all the time, and he would scream and cry." Eddie huffed ruefully. "I was useless at it then, but Shannon showed me what to do." He kept tapping at her back. "Good set of lungs means a healthy baby, good job, Jee. Now, let's see if we can't get this gas out of you so you can calm down and you and your Tio Buck can get some sleep, okay?"

Eddie started circling the room, the sun beginning to set as he heard he shower turn on.

"There you go, see? Your Buck is going to get all showered since you drooled all over him, and then you both can get some sleep, how's that sound?"

He was answered with a burp far louder than Jee's small body should be capable of making. Then a sweet gurgling sound as she nestled her chin into his shoulder.

"There, feel better, mi princesa?" Eddie whispered against her soft, downy hair. "When I was small and got upset, and my parents got annoyed with my sulking, they'd send me to Abuela. And she would sit me down on her lap, just like this," he sat down on Buck's couch, and settled Jee Yun against his broad chest, rubbing her small back with a large warm hand. "And she would hug me until I forgot what I was so upset about. All I could think about was the smell of her perfume and how much I wanted to be like her one day.

"Then Pepa would come out and yell at both of us that it's about damn time we came into the house, dinner doesn't make itself." Eddie laughed at the memory. Jee made a small discontented noise and Eddie stood up again, walking toward the kitchen, where he saw the half-formed works of bottle making on the counter. "Shhh, princesa, Tio Eddie's gonna make you a bottle." With Jee over his shoulder, sounding more and more on the edge of hunger-panic, Eddie quickly assembled a bottle then leaned back against the kitchen island and cradled Jee Yun in his arms, pressing the nipple to her mouth, which she accepted gratefully.

"Better, yeah? Where was I...? Oh." Eddie smiled. "Once we were inside, Pepa, Abuela and I would make arroz con leche. Abuella would wash the rice, Pepa would be tutting the whole time about too much sugar, but she would always wink at me and add just a bit more before the cinnamon." Eddie couldn't help the smile that stole over his face as he remembered Abuela's warm kitchen in her El Paso ranch house before she and Pepa relocated to LA. In winter, the windows would fog over from the heat of whatever was on the stove. When she left, a lot of Eddie's heart left with her.

"They used to sing me the song too, you know?" Jee gurgled around her dinner and Eddie smiled again. "Well, I wasn't planning to sing it, but you drive a hard bargain." Eddie's poked Jee's soft cheek with a finger and began to sing.

Arroz con leche se quiere casar con una viudita de la capital, que sepa tejer, que sepa bordar, que ponga la aguja en su campanal.

(English translation: Rice with milk (rice pudding) Wishes to get married With a little widow from the capital. Who knows how to weave (or knit), Who knows how to embroider, Who puts the church steeple in the bell tower.)

***

Eddie was no American Idol contestant, but his voice was soothing and good. Strong. Listening to him sing from his seat on the stairs, Buck almost felt like he was where Jee currently snuggled, right against Eddie's chest, as his bass voice sung the gentle Spanish lyrics, harmonized by the occasional happy noise from Jee Yun.

Yo soy la viudita la hija del rey. Me quiero casar y no sé con quien. Contigo sí, contigo no, Contigo mi vida me casaré yo.

(English translation: I am the widow The daughter of the king, I want to get married and I don’t know with whom. With you, yes. With you, no. With you, my life, I will get married.)

Buck's head knocked lightly against the banister, body relaxing. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just the softest sweatpants he owned with a towel draped over his shoulders to catch water from the mess of wet curls on his head.

Eddie's so hard on himself all the time. I don't get it. He's such a good dad.

Dazedly, Buck's eyes fixed on Eddie's mouth as he repeated the verses again. Then Eddie sighed.

"Afterward Pepa would ask me who I want to marry and Abuela would laugh at me, and I'd always complain--" Jee gurgled again. "Like that, yes. But honestly, it was nice... Even though between you and me, Pepa can't sing very well at all." Eddie's lips quirked again in a smile. "Kind of like your Uncle Buck."

Buck startled at his name and looked up at Eddie's eyes. They twinkled back at him in the dying last light of the day, Eddie's golden skin lit by the last rays of the sun. Buck felt his face heat with a blush, knew there was nothing to do about it.

"Sorry, I should've--"

"Feel better after your shower?"

Buck sighed and smiled. "Yeah. World's better." He stood, stretching out his long legs as he descended the stairs. It was full dark now, but Buck didn't feel like turning on a light. "I can take her now."

"Nope." Eddie met him midway, hand on Buck's shoulder turning him around. "You're both getting some sleep now." One hand on Buck's shoulder, the other holding a drowsy Jee Yun, Eddie guided him back up the stairs, and pressed Buck down until he was sitting on his bed.

"Eddie, are you sure--"

"Shhh." Eddie deposited Jee into Buck's arms, then sat down behind him. "You can hold her for now." Eddie's hands skimmed up Buck's warm back then pulled the towel off Buck's shoulders, laying it on top of Buck's head, where a corner flopped over his eyes.

"Eddie?"

"Hold still, Buck."

Eddie's strong hands curled into the towel and Buck's hair, rubbing vigorously to get it dry. "Seriously, anyone who has ever seen your hair at work would marvel at how different it looks before you comb and gel all the life out of it." He rubbed vigorously, and Buck felt himself relaxing back against Eddie's chest. Tomorrow, he might look back at this and feel embarrassed. He might have to apologize. Tomorrow, he would go back to hiding how much he felt for the man who was drying his hair, still absent-mindedly humming the Arroz con leche tune under his breath. But for now, Eddie was too near and too warm and too... Eddie. And Buck found that he couldn't deny himself Eddie right now.

Buck cleared his throat and made himself focus on their conversation. "I used to wear my hair naturally, but people said it looked floppy. Made me look like a puppy."

"People are stupid sometimes, Buck. You know this." Eddie's thumb traced the shell of Buck's ear. "And if you think slicking back your hair makes you look less like a puppy, you really shouldn't be bothering." He snickered as Buck tried to shoulder his chest and Jee made a noise of complaint.

"So I just look like a puppy all the time, huh?"

The towel dropped. Eddie's arms came around, holding onto Buck and Jee Yun both. "I think you're a beautiful man, Buck."

The air in Buck's chest hiccupped out of his mouth. His heart picked up speed as the places where Eddie's hands rested on his stomach seemed to heat from within. "Y... Eddie?"

"Shhh. Sleep now. Jee's asleep, but who knows for how long." Eddie's voice was gruff, embarrassed. "I'll just--"

"Stay?" It came out too high, too soft. Buck cleared his throat and tried again. "I mean, if it isn't any trouble, and--"

"I can stay." Eddie's arms tightened around Buck again and he pulled him backwards until Buck could lay out flat on his back, before pressing Buck's head down on his pillow. Then Eddie pulled Jee from Buck's arms and sat back against the headrest, legs folded together, Buck's niece cuddled again against his chest. "Sleep now."

"Okay." There was so much Buck wanted to know. To say. It all got stopped in his throat as fear tamped it all down to squirm in his chest.

"Eddie?" The word found its way out.

"Hm?"

"...Nothing."

A sigh. Then, "Come here."

Buck didn't hesitate, moving his head off the pillow and onto Eddie's lap. Eddie's spare hand found its way back into his curls and tugged lightly before stroking through them, gently, so gently.

"Sleep now."

"Okay. But," Buck's jaw cracked around a large yawn. "Before... you have to know..."

"Hm?"

"You are... so beautiful... Eddie Diaz."

Buck felt Eddie's hand tighten in his hair again, before releasing, fingers wandering down to trace his eyebrows, his nose, his lips.

"Sleep, querido."

As Buck's eyes slipped closed, and awareness almost dropped away, he swore he could feel lips press lightly right above his eye, on his birth mark.

"Contigo mi vida me casaré yo."

[meloswifeyyy]

Relationship Alphabet

A - Attitude

Who often has the worst Attitude ?

Well, you obviously. Most of the time because you are hungry or you and Melo just got out of an argument. Melo usually fucks the attitude out of you anywhere, anytime tho.

B - Baby

Who wants Babies the most - first ?

Melo. He often jokes about having kids or when you are having sex he would whisper in your ear  “You trynna have my babies?” or  “You boutta have my babies ” when he nuts in you. He says that he wants 3 or more. You only want 2. You arent rushing into it.

C - Crying 

Who Cries the most in the relationship ?

You. You often cry alone when you miss Melo when he is at away games for so long. Or when your BP triggers, Melo would comfort you. When watching sad movies, or when someone you love dies. Tears of joys appear here and there. Or when you get into arguments and Melo says something wrong or disrespectful out of madness.

D - Dates 

Who has the best Date spots ?

Melo. He would often take you to fancy restaurants in L.A or Miami, or wherever you guys went. Or take you shopping at an expensive place. He would do dates at home like watching movies, have you cook dinner because he cant cook for shit, or he would have a bath waiting on you. 

E - Eat 

Who Eats the most ?   

You. You know damn well you cant survive without food. Its the 2nd best thing that has ever happened to you besides life and Melo. Cant even survive a night. If you would wake up in the middle of the night and get hungry and go to kitchen and try to sneak some food without waking Melo up, he would hear it and go to the kitchen and scare you, picking you up over his shoulder with one arm, and with the other putting the food away carrying you back to the bed because its a little to early in the morning to be eating. 

F - Freak 

Who is the Freakiest ?  

Both of you. You being the only girl that can fuck Melo like you do, and being the only girl Melo is sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to no other girl can do it like you.10/10 in bed. Now Melo on the other hand is a demon in bed. His strokes, hitting your G - Spot constantly with you feeling it in your guts. His 9 inch is almost  always on hard when he is around you. And his tongue is crazy, going in and out and on the pearl AT THE SAME TIME. Crazy right. Spelling his name out on you. He loves when you scratch his back up or give him hickeys everywhere. 10000/10. Makeup sex is the best. 

G - Games 

Who wins the most games ?  

Melo. He would always dare you to a game of Call of Duty or Fortnite to see who would win first. And he would always win. When you would play a game of Uno you would often win and he would be mad the rest of the day due to his competitiveness. But any other game he would win.

H - Happy

Who is the Happiest in the relationship ?  

Both of you. You are always happy when you guys are around each other. Even when you guys just got done arguing you are still happy that he is in your presence. Melo on the other hand is always happy with you around him, he loves to cuddle with you. Its one of his favorite thing to do. He just loves that you are in his presence. You are his other half.

I - Irreplaceable

Who is the most Irreplaceable ?  

You would say Melo but Melo would say you. Melo knows how to deal with you more than anyone else does. He knows all your spots and what you like and dont like. He notices all of your flaws and sees the good and beautiful in them. He knows your body, mind, and soul. No man has a better or brighter or bigger smile than him. He always brightens the mood. You on the other hand are different. A big beautiful smile. You know how to deal with Melo when he is sad, looses a game. You can tell when he is lying or telling the truth just by looking through his eyes. You know how to make him happy. You are the best he has ever had.

J - Jaded 

Who gets the most Jaded after doing something ?

Melo. He usually gets really bored after sitting in the house all day. He really wants to leave the house and do something fun but usually its night time and you would be taking a nap or would be sleep. 

K - Kisses

Who gives the most kisses?

Melo. He is always so clingy and that comes with all the kisses in the world. He kisses you all over your face in your sleep, even when you are sleep he gives you kisses. He loves to kiss all over your body.

L - Love

Who fell in love the fastest?

Melo. He had always had a crush on you and everyone knew you were the one for him. You just didn’t know it until you two started dating. He’s always making sure you are good. He loves your hugs. He was the first one to say “I love you”. He want kids you to have all 10 of his kids.

M - Motivation

Who gives the most motivation?

You. When melo is going to a game and is not having a good feeling about it you motivate him to push through it and win for you. 9/10 he will win or get a lot of points for you.

N - Night Owl

Who is more of a Night Owl?

Both of you. Sometimes when his ADHD is on 10 you guys stay up and listen to music, play games, go on ig live, or just fuck for 7 hours straight. Sometimes you have to tell him to got to sleep or put him to sleep (😏) because he has a game tomorrow and needs all the rest and energy he can get. It also the same for you.

O - Oral Sex

Who gives Oral Sex the most?

Melo. Trust me, you give him head a lot and it’s amazing, 10/10. But melo loves giving you head. He loves to spell his name out on you. Loves to see the faces to make you scream and shout. Loves sharing your cream with you (🥲). He loves to climb under the blanket while you are sleep for some breakfast in bed. Maybe even dinner. His lips make it even better. So glad he don’t got them white genes in his lips (😋😭).

P - Perfect

Whos perfect?

Obviously, no ones perfect but God (🙏🏾). But in your eyes no one else is better for you except melo. You couldnt imagine living life without him. Cant imagine what anyones elses kids would look like with you but. No relationship is perfect. Melo sees you as perfect. Your body. Your style. Your personality. He absolutely loves your touch. He loves touch but for you loving your touch is an understatement. He couldnt imagine his kids with anyone else but you. Cant imagine getting married with anyone else. When you guys get into arguments and sleep in seperate rooms. You barely get sleep because all you can think about is each other. How perfect you guys are for one another.

Q - Q? (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

R - Relate

What traits do you guys have a like each other?

A lot. Both of your favorite food is Chicken tacos. You both love a good game of Uno. You both love sex. Duhh. Both of you guy’s love language is touch. Love playing fortnite together. Love listening to music and taking drives together. Both love lil uzi (we pretending yall💀). Just in general you guys are very alike.

S - Sex

(No question for this one lol. Y’all already know how we is round hea nahhmeannn😭)

The sex. Omgggg. The first time you and melo had sex was. So amazing. Can’t ever forget that moment. Melo is always so horny. Morning sex is the best. Sometimes a little top at the red light can turn into a few rounds in back of the McDonalds parking lot. Lucky enough all his windows tinted as hell. Or in the Victoria’s Secret fitting rooms. You guys could be listening to Chris Brown and he would really take you down, fuck you back to sleep, switch up the tempo, or make you wet the bed (i’m laughing hard ash). The hickeys. The high sex. Drunk sex (drunnnnkkk in lovvveee). Car sex. Balcony sex. All over the house sex ( i got bars.) Mad sex and Make up sex. I could go on. Sex with me so amazinggggg. (i was listening to this song while writing this one💀😫😫😫)

T - Trips

Who likes taking trips internationally?

Melo. He love to take you and a yearly or even monthly vacay. Just you and him. Turks and Caicos. Bora Bora. Jamaica. Iceland. Japan. Africa. Anywhere where you can get away from the world. The different places. The hotels. Being able to fuck anywhere and everywhere. The pools. The different air. (united states ait is so boring). The new food. The animals. You guys love the new places. He loves to see you happy and with a smile on your face.

U - U (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

V - V (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it again.)

W - Right the Wrongs

Who rights their wrongs after an argument?

Usually it would be you first. If you said something that was out of pocket or melo didnt like you woukd quickly apologize. He would forgive you and still cuddle and kiss you and stuff because thats what he does. Tease you. But he would ignore you until he actually forgave you in his head. Melo would apologize and give you some bomb ass d for and apology. Or make that cute face that you can’t resist.

X - (Can’t find a word for X. Give me a suggestion and i will edit it)

Y - Young

Who acts like a Young ass child?

Both of you actually. That’s what makes you love each other the most. The laughs and jokes, the tv shows, everything you could think of. It’s nothing wrong with it at all. Y’all are always gonna bust a joke out at the right time. Maybe sometimes even the wrong time. (damn, double homicide). You guys love laughing with each other.

Z - ZZZ

Who has the worst sleeping habits?

Probably Melo. If you scooted over him even a little bit, he would probably scoot back closer to you or pull you back over to him. And the only con of that is he snores a lot. (Why this nigga snore with his mouth open?🤨💀). Sometimes if he was awake and you werent he would kiss all over you. He loves to lay on your 🍒.

Y’all welcome. I haven’t pose the one of these in a minute. This took me a whole month and a half. I’m tired as hell. 💀

[feysandfeels]

IT’S VAMPIRE TIME BESTIES. BITE BITE MFS.

Firs of all lets enjoy my background. Beautiful. Stunning. Dramatic

Now.

Did someone ask for this? No. However I am in the second chapter and I have thoughts. Decarte would be proud. 

Special shoutout to my eternal love @cassianandfenrysaremyboyos​ because she’s the one who recommended this book to me. So if you’re annoyed with my thread, go complain to her. 

Bites bites.

1. I already like Isolde. I don’t know if its the complete irreverence with which she regards her own sexuality, the fact that she is 26 (god bless someone who is my age), the fact that she is a brunette or that she grew up training to be a fighter. 

2. There is an Alucard looking dude in the woods and I, as an Alucard slut, say thank you and I am willing to become his humble hoe. Clearly the vampire prince... but I love this trope of “random dude in the woods who I am attracted to turns out to be big baddie”. Also, points for the man, monster, lover, line... that got me. 

3. Poor Killian?? They called him bad dust (Colombian colloquial way of saying you are bad at sex... if you are good then it’s good dust)

4. I’m already here for the fact that Isolde is to be queen and no one is like “oh but she’s a woman”. Solid points to this world because of this. 

5. Also solid points because this book gave me two minutes of normal narration and then it went oh “HORNY HOURS START NOW”. Much appreciated, now I know what I am heading into.

6. Oh she’s a cynical romantic? Are we besties Isolde?

7. Also how are we feeling regarding Jamie Campbell Bower as this Alucard dude... whatever his real name is I will call him Alucard. But yea I am feeling Jamie. Either him or Daniel Sharman... but he is already my Dorian.. and Jamie does have more vampire vibes. 

8. Right so.. the mom is dead. Is the mom a vampire? Idk Idk maybe Idk. 

9. Killian is a little snitch. And snitches end up in DITCHES. Little bitch.

10. Also that father is dead. He will not survive this book or series. 

11. Papi, Commander Killian, shut up! Let the sexy blond speak. If he wants marriage then we must consider it, for the good of the people.

12. Alucard really did say “love at first sight”. The man is a romantic, a hopeless full romantic. See? nuance.

13. ohhhhhh forced marriage trope?

14. Kinda think that Alucard and the kin would have a wonderful husband-father in law relationship. Shame they are enemies. OH MY GOD! ENEMIES TO HUSBAND/FATHER IN LAW LOVE. OH MY GOD.

15.well marraige it’s not about having kids Isolde.. have you thought about that? maybe the man saw you in the forest and decided he loved you and wanted to spend eternity with you. Sometimes it happens. 

16. “you assume I want a wife, I came for a queen” OH MY JESUS ALUCARD WOW, SIR. “I am offering the promise of pleasure” sir i am IN PUBLIC!

17. “tomorrow I would marry our conqueror” Post colonialism trope besties.

18. I think it should surprise no one who has been following me for a while that if I could I would 100% want to be a vampire. Yes I would go through the process of transformation and yes I am willing to live eternally. I do not care. I would be a vampire. 

19. Is she going to? oh okay... she’s going to cope with the whole day by masturbating? okay yes. It was one of those days I guess. 

20. Killian for the love of fuck stop being so inconvenient. I swear to god you’re making the cardinal sin of being annoying. 

“drive a knife to his heart and then we can wed” AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA  What the fuck man? have you not been paying attention. 

He truly gave me no choice but to laugh

21. There was this one time Isolde went like “there’s only wrath in me” and I was like #CROSSOVER!

22.Bestie what do you mean you weren’t made for running? Aren’t you a trained fighter?

23. OH he calls her my sweet?! *bites lip not in a sexy way but like in an “i need to quiet my scream way”*

24. Honestly baby you giving Alucard the “intel” that Kilian wanted to kill him is not the news that you think it is... it’s like telling a teenager that his obsolete toddler brother is after him. 

25. “I promise not to kill your people, but I do not make any promises regarding the life of your commander”. 

Me *serving champagne*: oh well, we lost more in the great rains

26. My girl really agreed to this marriage proposal because she was *that* horny and I fear besties, I fear, I cannot judge her for it. 

27. “any attempt will be met with my Wrath”, “as if your Wrath could be any worse” #CROSSOVER

28. I am so Alucard coded because I too use “my sweet” as a threat and nickname. 

29. Lets be real Killian’s sex move is “I will tell your father”. 

30. oohhhhhhhhh Isolde is the reincarnation of Alucard’s love?? Please please please please let it not be her mother who was with Alucard. I am begging.

31. Yes of course you’d want to be armed in your wedding. Attending your own wedding without at least one knife hidden in you is just tactless and calls for a passionless marriage. Everybody knows that. 

32. Lol how fucking horny do you have to be to be trembling when you try to control it. 

33. “Soon, I hope you find pride in being my bride” This man is not even denying how P*ssy whipped he is.

34. Wait he can read minds? EDWARD CULLEN IS THAT YOU MY LOVE? Alucard ft Edward Cullen?? Yeeeeeesss don’t mind if i do.

35. Want to bet the song in her music box will be something Alucard remembers and when he listens to it he will freeze and be like “how do you know that song?” and then some big reveal about her mother and their past lives... yada yada yada. 

36. Also what do we feel about the theory that she was promised to him since birth or something like that and her mother, scared, hid her pregnancy with this human husband king and then faked her death to protect her baby further.... maybe the human king somewhat knew of it... so that’s why he didn’t put that much of a fight. 

37. Is it going to be a public consummation of the marriage?? Like right in front of Killian? JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA ah no. 

38. They send her to fuck in a room that has not been dusted?! NO WHAT THE FUCK. At least clean the whole room. Ugh. 

39. “I might hate you but the sex is so good to lovers”. Isolde bestie enjoy it! Enjoy it for the both of us. Morals do not exist. 

40. Oh my god she really did stab him. Respect. Wow. Of course that will turn him on and barely make a scratch, but respect. 

41. oh and he has scars... I love scars.. I fucking love scars. 

42. Oh my jesus.. “scream my name so that your commander knows how much pleasure I give you” JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA in this house we want to annoy the shit of Killian. AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA ZERO RESPECT TO THAT MAN TRULY. 

43. when Isolde said that Alucard looked at her like he had been starving and all that... I’m telling you he already knew her and had literally been waiting for her for centuries or something.. I’m even willing to say that all this war was to find her.. his promised queen

44. “Because as much as we were fighting for dominance he had given me the one thing I was looking for... “ she’s going to say orgasm isn’t she? My girl Isolde is about to sell her kingdom because the power of d*ck is that strong, and that doesn’t have me questioning her morals.. rather like... wanting to see for myself said power. You know, for science. 

[studysprine]

7/100 days of productivity & doing better | 07.29.2022

today's goals: wake up early 4 jay, take meds, brush teeth, wash dishes, pack bag, move R’s blue bin out room, wash face or at least spf, make eggplant and spinach HAVE TO because no good soon, get gas, move body, shower, ask m how to send interest email, call dad, clean up a little, drink more water, do The Thing (tried), review german, start driving home before 3:30, send email, dog sit, and plan tomorrows day.

if i have any extra energy: - tidy up laptop. - look into credit cards - library resources - do an hour of spanish grammar studying - make spanish &/or german post -

things I have accomplished today:

baked eggplant and cooked spinach for breakfast. starting the kettle for some chamomile tea as well. it was tasty but in the process of making it i accidentally broke the house's bottle of sesame oil, but thats okay because M helped me clean it and that was very kind. then ate a brownie! in the evening i ate some egg rolls and chips

brushed teeth, washed face, showered, texted jay about later,

i have organized and put away some of the laundry that was on my floor to it's different categories of worn only once lately, clean just forgot put away, and clothes for washing machine today. i will try and start the laundry machine soon

M helped me draft an email to a professor for my major, washed all my dishes while chatting with my friends, and now i need time to mentally rest from doing so much so back to back.

Did just that then began gathering my stuff to pack, reviewed some german, drove home, dog sat, and opened my letters

what am i doing right now as i type this? (12:07 noon) sitting inside with A (friend who's temp living with us) who just came home and M as I eat my breakfast and drink my tea. It looks really pretty outside, but it's getting too hot to enjoy outside unfortunately. Thinking about the busy day and weekend I'm about to have. I need to do many things before it turns 2pm! Good luck to me. (9:38pm) i needed all the luck. today was difficult. but i persevered!!! now i’m sitting down in my fathers house, sitting on the couch, just ate, and i’m now watching a show. ALSO LOOOOK I DID SOOO many things that were on my list today!!!!! and i actually ate breakfast at a breakfast time!!! i’m very proud of myself.

gratitude timeee: gonna return to this later, a little stressed from breaking the bottle. grateful M is so kind and helpful to me, grateful for the AC because its HAWT out, and happy to have a cup of tea in my life. thankful for digital studying tools, like duolingo really makes learning language vocab simple and enjoyable. grateful to my dad and these dogs and the green trees and the green grass. may they all stay healthy.

last updated: 9:41pm

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 6 August 1839

7 ½

12

much rain in the night and till 6 this morning – fair or nearly so at 7 1/2am F71 ½° at 9 am breakfast at 9 ¼ in about ½ hour+ - then had Smith giving us a lesson in Norsk till about one – afterwards till 1 40/.. talking to me – wish him to draw up a little grammar –

name                    navn                     a name                      et navn

the name             navnet                 a good name             et godt navn

names                  navne                  the good name          det gode navn

the names           navnene             the good names         de gode navne

when the crown price is here he is viceroi – Comte Vedel [Wedel] Jarlsberg is Stadthooder and as such is respected but his nobility is nothing – Smiths’ is-to-be father in law is noble but not titré – he is allowed to keep his nobility for life, and so are his children allowed to keep theirs they that were bron before the new constitution (made in 1814) because the constitution is not retrospective but nobody could be born noble in Norway after 1814 S-‘s father in law has sent his papers (documents vouchers of nobility they being 1st allowed and signed by the storthing) to his nephew Glöcker to be kept at Copenhagen the nephew being in the Danish royal guard – many here in a fit of enthusiasm burnt their documents of nobility -  a new large excellent map of Norway, very dear, in progress – See this and Krafts’ (Krofts) account of Norway – any English copper mining company at [Talvigoes] N.L. 70° in Finmarkens amter established about 4 years ago – the Fins are pagans and nomads – are mountaineers – come down into the vales in winter – a steam boat goes between Xtiania and Bergen and from Bergen to Talvigoes – the Sirius large London Petersburg  

Tuesday 6 calls at Xtiansand 40 miles by water (=3 days) from Xtiania and .... miles by Drammen and by land – a Storthingsman has 3 ½ species a day.  then inking over accounts till off at 3 12/.. from Drammen the suspension bridge the only one in Norway – Drammen consist of the 3 towers Bregĕnes [Bragernes], Strumsöe [Strømsø?], and Tangen = 7000 to 8000 inhabitants  Drammen the Liverpool of Norway on account of the enterprise of its merchants – they had the 1st steam boat – just out of D- barley harvest – sheaves hung to dry round (from top to bottom) a pole 6 or 7ft. high – looking like sheaf-coloured cars downwards at Sjellibeck (pronounced yellibek) single house at 4 ¾ - off at 5 and at 6 7/.. at Ravnsborg single house for the scattered village at a little distance – beautiful drive all the way from Drammen here – and fine afternoon – at 6 54/.. turn (left) from the Xtiania road to Jonsry [Jonsrud] to see Crokleaven [Krokkleiva?] tomorrow morning – beautiful drive – the road good but evidently a by-road – about 7 ½ close to a little cascade and mill and bridge poor Smith thrown from his but not hurt – I could not reach the reins – the lad behind sat unmoved in spite of my signs to him jump down and stop the horses – they got to the middle of the bridge then got the rein (at 7 55/.. Barum) round the near fore wheel, backed and we might have been in a scrape in the water or over the wall several feet below the road but S- gathered himself up and came A- behaved very well – a man in a spring cart behind us came up and helped to get all right – at 7 55/.. Barum [Bærum] picturesque good village belonging to comte Vedel [Wedel] Jarlsberg where he has an iron foundry – the mineral chiefly comes from Arendal by water – very little of it get here – but the foundry here on account of the great quantity of wood – his property said to = a million of species, but he is said to owe as much – now things so better with him – he is stadhoulder and is doing better – he fait un grand commerce en fer et en bois –

SH:7/ML/TR/12/0020

August Tuesday 6 Norway buys coal of England (stein cöel as pronounced) charbon de terre - gives us wood, but only the large wood the smaller pays too much duty i.e. pays the same as the large sold last year 500,000 species worth of herrings – the anchovies caught chiefly in the Xtiania fjord – caught in autumn – S- paid last year last winter in a private house (très bien) breakfast dinner and coffee and supper and well lodged 8 species per mois ½ species for wood and ½ species to the garçon = 9 sp. per mois – if he should die, his widow would have a pension – 80sp. a year on his having paid 300sp. all at once or by little and little to government – the highest pension given by government = 350sp. a year which must be paid for in proportion – our bill this morning too much – and 4sp. per day at the hotel du nord at Xtiania enormous – at Jonsrud at 8 ¾ - nice large comfortable room rez de chaussée – 1 bed and the sofa made up into a bed – It was just beginning to rain as we alighted but has held off – pancakes and tea at 9 50/.. then till 11 finishing inking over accounts fine day F71° now at 11 pm no rain but the drop or 2 that frightened us on our arrival at 8 ¾ pm

[songofsongs214]

“Anchor”-A Tim and Lucy Novella

Summary: When you’re about to go somewhere that is unknown, what you’re looking for is something or someone to keep you rooted in who you are. This is a bit of an AU but set before the season 3 finale before Lucy goes undercover. 

Hello everyone! SO this is my submission to the Chenfordfanficweek2021 for the “free category”. I’ve been editing and working on this piece for about 4 months now and I hope you all enjoy it. Also, I have to post it here for now, because my invitation to join Archive of Our Own got extended to July 31 😭

Warning: there are mentions of drug addiction, and there's a lot of kissing. So if either of those are triggering for you, I don’t recommend it. Let me know what you think! This is the first fanfiction I’ve written in 15 years, so I know I’m a little rusty but I’m actually pretty proud of it. Huge shout out to @farfarawaygirl for her encouragement to share and her willingness to read over this multiple times and giving me extremely helpful feedback. I hope you still like it after I changed the title 3 times 😛

Lucy Chen was vibrating with excitement. Harper had asked earlier at the beginning of her last shift if she was ready to go on her first undercover assignment. She’d been waiting and hoping it would be soon since she became a P2, but she didn’t anticipate it would be the first month of her second year. She didn’t think she had made enough of an impression yet to be trusted with this assignment.  When Harper had briefed her on the case, she had revealed that she was going under as “The Chemist” again and this time it would be for an extended operation. 

As she was driving down the boulevard, Lucy watched the road as the light from the line of streetlights would flash in and out of her car interior bathing her hands in an orange glow. Lucy remembered when she had been in the station in the room with Sargent Grey as he told her how this was going to work for her. She was instructed that she couldn’t take what belonged to her on assignment. No photos, no hair care products she had purchased with her own money. No jewelry. That last one was what she was the most apprehensive about. She looked down at the opal ring on her finger and twisted it slowly back and forth as she kept one hand on the steering wheel. 

Without these reminders she had started to wonder what was going to anchor her to herself. She wore her ring on a daily basis when she wasn’t in uniform, and it grounded her just like the day she threw it off her finger; it stabilized her when she had the ring thrown back to her from the hands that had lifted her away from her death. 

What if I can’t remember who I am when I’m under? What if I forget that I have a life outside of those circumstances? 

It had been a week since Harper’s offer and 3 days since she had been briefed by Sargent Grey. Nova. She had tried the name out on her lips earlier that day and something about it felt familiar and foreign at the same time. She had been so excited until she saw his face and just like that her excitement was tempered and she felt a sense of dread she didn’t feel before. 

Finally, she had reached her destination. She put her Nissan in park and pressed the button that shut the engine off. She was sitting outside of his house hoping to try and get an answer to a question that had been running around in her mind without fail this entire week. Tim knew she was going under the next day. He had been in the squad room when she told him. She didn’t think he should have heard it from anyone else. So why did he walk away? 

He had worn his stern face not  giving away anything except for the glimmer of surprise and anger she saw in his eyes for a brief moment. 

He’d mumbled “Good luck” and “Be safe” then he walked away without another word. 

That wasn’t good enough for her. She was not going to let him just leave her and pretend that he had no opinion when she knew for a fact he did. 

Which is what brought her to his door at this hour of night. Truth be told it was only 9 pm, but it might as well have been midnight with the amount of nerves that were coursing through her body at this moment. 

She had parked just shy of the driveway as she stepped out of the car and shut the door, pressing the button to lock all the doors without the beep of her key fob. She started walking up the path to the front door and she froze just staring at the outside door. Her palms were sweaty and she started to wring her hands out in front of her. 

Maybe I shouldn’t do this. Maybe it would be safer to just turn around and go home and prepare for a new life with a bottle of tequila instead.

Before she lost her nerve, she lifted her hand and knocked on the door. She didn’t know how long she waited there. It could have been 30 seconds; it felt like 30 minutes. Finally, she saw the light switch on in the living room and Tim opened the door. 

To say that Tim’s face was shocked was an understatement. His eyebrows had shot up with his eyes blown slightly wide open looking briefly disarmed. 

He looked insanely good for him just being home alone.

 Well I hope he was alone. 

She didn’t see any shoes lined up at the door and Tim didn’t look like he was waiting on anyone. 

Tim was wearing the same shirt she had seen him wear on her Plain Clothes Day. His blue shirt looked like he had just pulled it over his shoulder with its wrinkles. He adjusted it so it was pulled forward then his arms were crossed across his chest. 

She opened her mouth, but words failed her. 

He beat her to it and found his voice first, “Lucy?” He said carefully almost as if to test if she was a mirage. 

“What are you doing here? I thought your first day was tomorrow, shouldn’t you be prepping?” He paused and searched her face and stared her directly in the eye

 “Or did you change your mind?”

Tim looked at her with an intense gaze and for a second she could swear she was his rookie again and he was scrutinizing her every thought. Typically, one look from him would spin her out, but she wasn’t his rookie and she didn’t come all this way to fall on her face. 

Lucy looked up at him trying to remember the rehearsed words she had figured out on the car ride here. 

Her voice didn’t sound like her own when she replied, “I’m leaving tomorrow and I wanted a reminder of who I am before I go.” 

She took her eyes away from his eyes and stared ahead of her almost ready to bail all together. She took a deep breath and stood up a little straighter. 

“I needed to see you and I had a question I needed an answer to.” She finished with more boldness than she started as she took a step forward. 

Tim’s eyes narrowed then he put his arms down to his sides placing his hands in his pockets. 

“What answer are you looking for from me?” His voice was a little deeper than it was before. 

Lucy knew this was her now or never moment, she could tell him all of these reasons right here outside of his door while he was on the other side of the threshold ;where she wanted to be more than anything. Or she could show him. 

Lucy took another tentative step forward so she was almost touching his chest with her proximity. By this point Tim’s hand had come out of his pocket, but before he could say anything, she had stood up on her tip toes and reached her hand around his neck and gently pulled him down and pressed her lips to his. 

At first, neither one moved. It was almost as if they were afraid to respond. Then Lucy could feel Tim’s hands on either side of her waist pressing his finger tips in. 

Tim’s lips moved first over hers. He slid his lips in between hers and he tugged gently on her bottom lip pulling it into his mouth. She clutched at the hair on the back of his head as she pushed her head forward slightly being pulled into his proximity even more. 

At some point, Tim had pulled her inside his house and had closed the door. His hands moved from her waist to cupping her face. They stood in his living room kissing just testing the feeling out. Lucy could feel Tim’s hands move from around her face and grip the back of her head gathering her hair tresses in between his fingers. 

Briefly, Lucy slipped her shoes off at the door, so she matched his barefoot appearance. She could hear the quiet thud as the shoes hit the floor and she kicked them to the side away from them without pulling away from Tim. 

Lucy kissed him back with every feeling she didn’t know how to tell him. She teased her tongue at the seam of his mouth and silently asked for permission to enter his mouth and deepen the kiss. He obliged and opened his mouth to let her in. As she continued her ministrations, he moved one hand to the small of her back pulling her flush against his body. 

Wow he’s actually really REALLY good at this. 

Lucy’s hands moved to push Tim’s button down shirt off of his shoulders, but she couldn’t get it completely off of him. He chuckled slightly against her lips,  pulled away, and shrugged it off. He wasn’t gone for long, he pulled her to him within the tense of a breath and Tim removed her cardigan and wrapped his arms around her waist completely. 

Both of them stood with just their undershirts as they continued to test these waters they both had been too afraid to jump into. 

Suddenly, Tim stilled his hands on her hips and pulled back with his forehead resting on hers. 

“Lucy” he whispers it and his warm breath breathed across her lips. 

Lucy tries to say words but all that comes out is a whisper “Tim...that was..” 

He cut her off before she could finish.

“Unexpected?” he chuckles with a lopsided grin she could see. 

Lucy laughs quietly too. She moved her hands from his shoulders back around his neck to anchor herself because she feels like she’s going to fall over. 

“Lucy, I was on my way to see you, I didn’t like how silent I was to you. I wanted to tell you I…”

Lucy didn’t let him finish as she reached up as she pushed herself upward and kissed him instead. She took control this time as her lips glided over his. She nipped at his bottom lip which caused him to shudder and groan quietly. She let go with a small pop and she moved her lips to murmur in his ear

“I wanted to talk too, but you know right now I want to see what the show me kind of guy will do instead.”

Tim stared at her for a beat. His eyes looked down to her lips and back up her eyes. Lucy thought he had decided not to continue. Instead, he started kissing her again. Suddenly, his hands lifted her up onto his waist  holding her with his arms wrapped around her as she straddled his waist. 

He carried her down the hall and took her into what she assumed was his room. He placed her down on her feet and slowly turned her so her back was against his chest. He placed his hand on her hip bone and stroked where her shirt had risen up. Tim had used his other hand to sweep her hair off of her shoulder that exposed her neck to him. She leaned to the side slightly so he could have full access. 

Tim’s mouth feathered kisses down her neck and onto her shoulder. Lucy shivered. Then, he moved his kisses upward to the shell of her ear where he nipped and took it gently between his teeth. 

Lucy squirmed from the intensity of the feelings and pressure building up in her belly all the way down to her toes. Sensing her trying to move away from him, he moved his hand from her hipbone to splay his fingers flat across her stomach firmly, but not too tight. Lucy moaned quietly as she felt the stubble of Tim’s face against her skin. 

Tim says huskily in her ear “So, what question did you want me to answer?” 

Lucy spins herself around so she’s facing him in the dark with only the slivers of moon streaming through the blinds. 

“Remember when I said we didn’t need to talk.” 

Lucy feels Tim smile against her lips and he kisses her quickly, then he pulls away while running his hands down her upper arms. Lucy hears him speak and Tim’s voice sounds like it’s all around her. 

“But what about tomorrow?”

Lucy reached up her hands to cup his jaw. 

“Tomorrow, I’m Nova.” But tonight my name is Lucy Chen. and I just want to keep kissing you.” 

Lucy leans forward just hovering over his lips, ”Please Tim.” Her eyes look into his and glance down to his lips. 

Tim looks down at her with a look that she hasn’t had the privilege of seeing until now. His eyes wander over her face and his admiration and fear shines back at her through his blue eyes. He groans out loud as he places his hands tenderly around her face rubbing his thumbs over her cheeks. 

“I want to kiss you, I want to continue this..but you’re leaving tomorrow. And I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again.” 

Instantly, Lucy takes in his words and knows that he’s remembering back to when Isabel had said similar things to him before she walked out on her final assignment as the Isabel he knew.  She had lost herself. She had become someone else. Lucy looks down and steps away from him, but she doesn’t step away too far. 

She runs her hands over her hair trying to smooth it out from his ministrations. She catches her breath as she watches Tim look down and away from her catching his own. 

Lucy sits on the bed behind her and reaches out her hand for Tim to take. Tim wraps his fingers around hers as she tugs him down to sit next to her on the edge. Tim releases her hand and turns on the small lamp on his nightstand that adds a quiet glow to the room which illuminates his face to her. Now, she can see the tension and conflict in his eyes that’s written all over his features that the dark had hid from her before as he had run his hands down her body. 

I was too distracted. How could I have missed this? 

Lucy reached for his hands and held them in hers. He looked down at their joined hands, but he didn't look her in the eye. His jaw tenses. Lucy is thrown by the sadness she feels coming off of him where desire had been before. She lifts one of her hands from his to turn his face towards her with her hand on his cheek. She looks at him with tears shimmering lightly in her eyes that are reflecting his own. 

“Tim I’m not Isabel, I know she volunteered right out of the gate when she could. I was asked to do this assignment because they  trust me to follow protocol. I know you’re looking at me now and you see her, but Nova is an alter ego not someone I want to become.” 

Tim’s expression hardens slightly as he speaks, “Isabelle was known for her professionalism. She had hundreds of successful ops, until me day she didn’t. One minute she was bringing down drug dealers, the next she was she was the one lining their pockets.. and other things..” Tim pulled away from her and turned  his body towards the nightstand opposite of her. 

He continued, ”Some officers in her department said it was her relationship with me that caused her to be more willing to compromise. Her shrink at rehab told me that it was her feelings for me that clouded her judgement and she was already ready to consider those compromises to seem insignificant.”

Lucy had started to tear up at his words. He still held all this guilt that he was somehow responsible for her and for the choices she had made. 

He thinks he’s the reason she failed. He thinks her having feelings for him caused her to fall down into the pit of addiction. 

“Tim, remember when I told you that addiction affects the family of an addiction just as much as the addict.”

He nodded with his head down staring at the floor rubbing his hands together in front of him. 

She couldn’t bear not touching him in some way, letting her physical touch provide comfort to him about a past she hadn’t been a part of, but who she was repeating in front of him. 

Lucy moved herself closer to him on the bed so her thighs were resting against his. She felt a jolt go through her, but she was more interested in this intimacy with him more than sex. She put her arms around his shoulders holding on to him. She hoped her words could help him to see the truth and to start to let go of all the lies inside his head. 

“Tim, I care about you. You are brave, and considerate. You are calculating, but never cruel. You’re never cruel. You didn’t cause Isabelle to succumb to addiction. You are incredible, but you are not that powerful. She was her own person before she met you and even though you were married she was always the one responsible for herself. She took that needle in her hands. She injected it. These were her choices. It’s not your fault what happened.” 

By this point Tim had stiffened and his shoulders slumped forward as he started to shake a little under her hands. There were tears falling down his cheeks.

Lucy reached up and wiped some away leaning her head against the side of his face holding  him. 

“It wasn’t your fault. Going undercover wasn’t the cause of her losing herself, it gave her the opportunity to fall into a hole she had already felt before. Addicts aren’t just created overnight. There are thoughts ahead of time, there are many factors. But hey remember she’s clean now. She has her life; she lived. And you know why? A big reason is because you didn’t give up on her. You helped her.”

Tim cleared his throat and wiped his tears away. He turned to her finally so she could see his eyes. 

“Okay. But Lucy what happens if you’re put in the same position as she was? What if it’s a matter of life and death? How do I know you’re not going to wash out with no one there to bring you back.”

Lucy spoke quietly, “I’m not Isabelle Tim. I’m a different woman and our relationship is different.” 

“Seems pretty damn similar,” he says bitterly. “Except I’m compromising your career now. How can I call myself a training officer again.”

Wow he is so self deprecating. Now he’s trying to push me away. I must have seen him too cleary. 

Lucy speaks up, “I am the cop I am because YOU trained me. Your training has saved my life countless times. To be honest, I never expected to have feelings for my training officer.  And to be fair, I didn’t actually feel the depth of my feelings for you until after I became a p2. I’m not here because you took advantage of me. I’m with you right now because I want to be. I will NEVER regret knowing you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re not going to ruin me.”

Tim lifts his head and looks into her eyes. She sees that they’re slightly puffy from his burst of emotion and reaches forward to kiss his forehead.

Lucy follows quickly. “Okay your turn Bradford because I’d say that was a pretty great declaration of feelings here. I’m not sure you could follow that up.”

Tim laughs softly before he speaks. 

“Lucy you were my rookie and I hadn’t thought about you and I together like this. But I remember when you were taken and I chalked up my reaction to guilt and responsibility but the truth is I was terrified that I would never be able to see or talk to you again. Then, when you confessed feelings for me on our last shift, it felt like the world had dropped out below me. I was confronted with what I knew but was unable to acknowledge. Lucy, that terrified feeling I felt when you were buried is how I feel right now knowing you’ll be gone and in danger.” 

Lucy nodded her head and tried to contain the tears that were gathering in her eyes. The weight of Tim’s vulnerability and the reality that she is gone tomorrow suddenly hits her like a punch to the gut. 

At that moment, she reached out and placed his hand around her waist and she tucked herself into his side placing her head against his chest. 

Tim took the hint and pulled her closer to him wrapping his arm tightly around her and rested his head on hers. 

“I’ll be okay. I’m going to come home.”

His hands start to draw circles along her side under her shirt. 

“You can’t promise that, but I appreciate you trying. I’ve been in this position and I want you but If I’m being honest I don’t know if I can do this again.” 

Lucy’s stomach drops with the falling of his words. She turns them over analyzing every syllable. After she lets his words wash over her,  She starts to disentangle herself from leaning into his body and she clenches her teeth to prevent the tears from finally gushing out. 

“Well I should go..”

Before she can complete her task or her words, Tim pulls her onto his lap instead and wraps his arms around the small of her back burying his head in her neck. 

As he embraces her, she no longer stops the tears from falling as they run down her cheeks onto his shoulder. She almost misses it, but she hears Tim’s broken answer “Don’t”.

She’s sobbing before she can stop it. 

He holds her tighter to him as he starts to rub his hands up and down her back. It’s like all of her realizations and Tim’s trauma cascades over both of them as they hold on to each other holding on to this moment for dear life not sure how long it will last; if it will last. 

Tim’s voice is muffled in her ear as he continues to hold onto her. 

“Listen, I can’t change my past or erase the triggers I’m feeling right now. I can’t ignore them but I want to see where this can go. I want to find out what you and I can be. I can’t let you go. I know I shouldn’t, but I want you.”

She lifts her head from his shoulders to see the heat and determination in his eyes. She doesn’t think, she pushes forward and kisses him. 

Tim kisses her back and his hands move from her back and down to her upper thighs with his fingers digging into her pants. She starts to reach for the hem at the bottom of his shirt until she feels him pull away with his forehead resting on hers. 

He’s breathing heavily and his voice is low and strained, “I want you Luce. God knows I want this with you. But I just can’t be with you right before you leave. But when you come back, Tim Bradford finishes what he starts, you know that better than anyone.”

Lucy pulls away to look at him fully in the light. Tim reaches his hand up to brush the hair off of her face and behind her ear. 

“I would like to see it, and If anything this will give me something to look forward to. Hey, your feelings for me are not a liability. They’re an asset. Knowing you’re out there believing in me will encourage me to be the cop I need to be. I’ll remember who I am”.

Tim holds her face with both of his hands and he places his forehead against hers then he whispers to her that makes her heart beat even faster than before if that were possible. 

“If you need someone to remind you that you’re Lucy Chen, let me remind you. You are Lucy, the woman who arrested someone on her first day as a police officer. The woman whose compassion has saved more lives next to me than our guns have. The woman who I will not be able to stop thinking about for the next month. The woman who I am insanely attracted to. The woman who is doing the most meaningful thing with her life and many others are better for it including mine. And I’m so proud of you.”

Lucy stifles another sob. “Wow for someone’s that’s a show you type of guy you sure know how to say it too” 

Tim leans forward and speaks dangerously low with his hot breath hovering over her lips. 

“ Well stick around, I’m full of surprises.” 

Lucy laughs and wipes her eyes. She goes to get off of him ready to go home, but his arms stop her. 

“Wait, I meant it. I don’t want you to go. Will you stay with me tonight? I just want to feel you in my arms where you’re safe. Please?”

He looks at her with a hesitation and a shyness she hadn’t seen from him since she made his first audio book and she encouraged him to not be ashamed. 

Lucy kisses Tim chastely on the lips and holds onto his hair. 

“Okay, I think I can stay. Although I never imagined Tim Bradford would be begging me to stay. I think I like the sound of that” 

Tim smiles against her lips. “Don’t get used to it” as he falls against his pillows and takes her down with him. He spoons her with her back to his chest. He curls one arm around her waist and one arm around her shoulders as he kisses the side of her head. 

She snuggles up close to him pulling the covers over both of them as her eyes start to drift close. She falls asleep to Tim’s voice in her ear telling her how much he’ll miss her and for her to come back home to him.

She started her night worried she was going to forget who she was. And she ended her night wrapped in the arms of the man who has always known exactly who she was. She holds onto him who's always been her anchor. Suddenly, undercover work didn’t look as appealing as it did before, but as her eyes drift shut she realizes she can do this because she knows where she can go back home to.

[thoughtsonhurtandcomfort]

Safe Haven, part 1

(this is the continuation of 12C!)

12C: Part 1 |  Part 2 |  Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |  Part 6 |   Part 7 |   Part 8 |   Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

Tag List: @deluxewhump @whumpinggrounds @yet-another-heathen   @its-mysweetlittlesecret-blog  @killtheprotagonist @kixngiggles

Content Warnings:  immortal whumpee, lady whumpee, references to captivity and lab whump, malnutrition, dehydration, exhaustion, escape, caretaking, implied trauma, implied nudity

Author’s Notes: I really really hope you guys enjoy this one...I hope it’s as cathartic to read as it was to write. :)

I decided to start this next bit under a new title. The parts for the last one were getting excessive, and also this way even if my plans for the rest of it don’t work out, 12C is a complete thought.

As for the ‘escape plan’, I had more details of it in my mind but as I was writing it they felt...boring? So I cut the crap and kept it simple. Just trust that there was a plan and I’m just not a good enough writer to make it interesting. Besides, I wanted to get to the cute shit. :))

----

“You’re sure you know the plan?”

“Yes.”

“And...you’re sure you’re strong enough?”

“...I have to be.”

“That isn’t a yes.”

A huff lacking any real frustration. “Yes, Liv.”

“Okay. Two nights from now. Hang in there.”

----

The wheels of Liv’s cart are loud as they roll down the empty hallway, muffling out her sneakered footsteps. The sound also muffles her half-full water bottle falling from one of the shelves with a smack, and even if it weren’t for the cart, she’s got her headphones on, music turned up loud.

Liv comes to a stop at the door to the storage room. It’s unlocked, like always. She holds the door open with one hand and pushes her cart in halfway with the other. It’s then that she ‘notices’ her bottle down the hall, several yards away. Frustrated, she leaves the cart where it is and trudges to go pick it up.

When she returns, she only spends a couple of minutes in the storage room, restocking a few cleaning supplies so she won’t have to tomorrow. As she leaves the room and continues down the hall, she gives no indication that her cart has suddenly become heavier.

She gets into the elevator and heads upstairs to finish her final tasks of the night. This includes disposing of the garbage and hazardous waste she’s gathered throughout the night, putting utensils in a machine to be sanitized, and dumping linens from a hamper down a chute into a laundry room.

“Curl up tight,” she whispers as she tips the hamper. There’s a soft thud as more than just sheets and towels slide down the chute.

Liv finishes putting her things away, puts the papers from her clipboard in a file folder outside her manager’s door, uses the bathroom, and finally clocks out and heads to the parking garage. Calm, collected, seemingly lost in her music.

Heart pounding. Thoughts racing. Hopeful and terrified.

Her old but beloved little car sits alone on this floor of the dimly lit concrete garage. She throws her things into the passenger side before sitting heavily with a sigh in the driver’s seat. After a moment she turns on the car and begins the winding path up towards the exit.

As she rounds a bend she slows down a little...and remains slow for several moments until she hears her back door open and shut and a rustling as someone lies across the seat and burrows under a waiting blanket. She picks up her speed again, rolling down her window so she can swipe her ID card to get out.

Liv drives into the dark of night. It’s just past two in the morning, the roads empty, the traffic lights in town all blinking yellow. From the back seat she can hear weak, muffled breaths. When she looks at her rearview mirror, she can just make out the bundled heap trembling by the light of street lamps.

She waits until she’s a couple miles beyond the facility’s property before speaking, her voice hoarse from how dry her throat is.

“You okay back there?”

“...not sure,” comes Emmeline’s answer, fear and exhaustion palpable in her voice. “Do you think they saw anything?”

“If we did everything right, no...but I guess we’ll find out.”

Liv puts on an air of confident nonchalance that is so far from how she feels, but it’s for Emmeline’s sake. The risks have become so much more than a slap on the wrist. If they’re caught Liv will be fired and almost certainly arrested for theft of company ‘property’. But Emmeline...not only will she have to go back there, but she’ll be kept under such tight lock and key that any second chance of escape would be impossible, and Liv would no longer be there to even try.

This was their one shot, and all Liv can do is try to keep her panic at bay and hope they didn’t screw it up.

And take care of Emmeline, she thinks, glancing again at the mirror.

The drive home takes its predictable twenty minutes, give or take a few. Liv pulls into her spot beside a nondescript brick apartment building and shuts off her car. She closes her eyes and gives herself a moment to breathe and pull her thoughts together.

It’s quiet from the back.

“Are you awake?”

“Mmhmm…”

That translates to barely.

“Not much further...then you can rest…”

The weight of that statement is too much for Liv’s tired mind to truly process, but it still briefly occurs to her just how big it is, just what it means. For the first time in months, Emmeline can finally, truly rest.

She goes to the back seat and helps Emmeline to her feet. Emmeline remains resolutely wrapped from neck to ankles in the blanket. Despite it being the old, scratchy one Liv keeps in her car in case of emergency, to Emmeline it’s so much more than she’s been allowed.

Standing there barefoot in the parking lot, Emmeline slowly looks up at Liv, strands of limp, messy hair hanging around her face. The single light on the side of the building illuminates her drawn face and although she’s weak, malnourished, exhausted...there is a grateful reverence in her eyes that no matter what happens, Liv will never forget.

Liv swallows and pushes down the lump in her throat. “Come on,” she whispers, putting her arm around Emmeline’s blanket-clad shoulders and guiding her towards the door.

----

Her apartment is tidier than usual; Liv made sure of that, even though she’s pretty sure Emmeline won’t care. Considering where she has spent the last several months, a jail cell would seem like an upgrade. But if Liv is anything, she’s self-conscious.

Emmeline looks around, blinking blearily after having barely made it up the single flight of stairs. She’s swaying on her feet and Liv ushers her to sit on the couch before she passes out right there in the middle of the living room.

Liv is running on adrenaline and fumes at this point. It’s all too surreal, like an out of body experience. Even after long hours spent thinking and planning, she never expected to get this far. But now Emmeline is here, in her apartment, sitting on her couch. Existing outside of the lab, real and tangible.

And she needs you. Get it together.

“I know you probably want to sleep,” Liv begins. Emmeline is still looking around the room like she can’t quite believe it either. “But you haven’t eaten, so...I want to get something in you first, if that’s okay?”

“Okay,” Emmeline whispers.

Liv moves slowly to the kitchen and busies herself with preparing something light and easy: canned soup, crackers, a mug of herbal tea with honey. Like in the car, she allows herself a moment to take a few deep breaths and will her hands to stop shaking before she picks up the plastic tray and carries the food back into the living room.

Emmeline hasn’t moved an inch, not even to relax back against the couch cushions. It isn’t quite what Liv expected...but then, what did she expect? For everything to be better the moment they got here? It isn’t all going to be okay overnight, she realizes. Give her time.

“Here…” Liv sets the tray on the coffee table and sits at the edge of the couch, leaving a few inches between them, not wanting to crowd Emmeline. “Um - chicken noodle soup. Saltines. Chamomile vanilla tea.”

Emmeline blinks slowly at the items before her. “I’m not dreaming. Right?”

“I hope not. Eating canned soup in my apartment isn’t a very exciting dream.”

A faint smile appears on Emmeline’s face. “To me it is…”

Liv holds the bowl of soup while Emmeline eats small spoonfuls of it and nibbles on crackers. She only eats about half before moving on to the tea, cupping the warm mug in her hands and humming with pleasure when she takes the first sip.

“Could I - “ Emmeline begins, but stops abruptly, ducking her head and taking another sip.

“Could you…?”

“Take a shower?” she asks almost inaudibly.

“Of course you can,” Liv answers automatically. “You can have whatever you need.”

Emmeline hesitates, still so frail and uncertain. “Just that is enough...thank you…”

Strengthened by her meal, Emmeline is able to make her own way to the bathroom. Beneath the blanket she is wearing a pair of nurse’s scrubs, stolen from the laundry room at the lab just in case a glimpse of her was caught on camera, though Liv meticulously designed their plan to avoid that. She sheds the clothes and Liv bundles them and the blanket into a plastic bag to discard tomorrow.

Emmeline disappears into the bathroom and a minute later the water comes on.

Liv is left sitting on the couch, finally alone with her fears and doubts.

I can’t believe I did that…

If we get caught we’re so fucked…

Does she even want to be here?

What the hell do I do now?

She grabs the tray of dishes and hurries to the kitchen, where she actually washes them instead of pushing it off to tomorrow, just to distract herself. When that task is done too soon, she goes to change into pajamas and find something for Emmeline to wear.

She’s unfolding and refolding the clothes for the third time when the water shuts off. Just as Liv is standing to bring her the clothes, the sound of the shower curtain moving aside is followed by a cry and a loud thud.

Liv darts to the bathroom, everything else forgotten. She enters without knocking, her heart in her throat.

Emmeline is sprawled on her side on the floor, grimacing. One leg is hooked over the edge of the tub and it quickly becomes apparent that she slipped.

Not attacked. Not passed out or dead. She just fell. It’s okay. It’s okay.

At the sound of Liv entering the room, she rolls onto her back with a groan, revealing a bruise on her hip that slowly starts to heal as soon as the pressure is removed from it.

“Ow…”

“Shit...I forgot to put the bath mat in,” Liv mutters, embarrassed. No wonder Emmeline slipped. She crouches beside her and offers her arms for Emmeline to hold onto.

“Not your fault,” Emmeline answers quietly as she slowly gets to her feet. “I got dizzy…”

The moment Emmeline is standing she sways into Liv, leaning heavily against her before her legs can give out again. Liv freezes, acutely aware of the pressure of Emmeline’s body draped against hers, soft and clean, so weary, so in need of comfort.

All of those evenings Liv spent watching her suffer, wishing she could hold her, touch her gently, stroke her hair...now she has the chance, not a camera or another soul in sight, and she can’t move, can barely think. Not when Emmeline has her head tucked against Liv’s shoulder, breathing soft breaths against her neck.

Liv reaches blindly to her side until she finds a towel hanging on a hook beside the shower. She puts enough space between them to wrap it around Emmeline’s shivering form but remains close enough to steady her. By now Emmeline looks like she might fall asleep where she stands.

“Sorry,” Emmeline whispers, her drooping gaze fixed on Liv’s shirt. “I got you wet…”

“Shh. Don’t worry about it,” Liv answers quietly. “Come on…”

She guides her the final few feet into the bedroom and helps her into soft cotton pajama pants and a t-shirt. Then she pulls back the covers - freshly washed sheets on a freshly made bed, another thing she made sure of - and motions for Emmeline to get in.

“A bed?” Emmeline breathes. She runs her fingers over the sheet with a look of wonder.

“Mmhmm,” Liv affirms, lips pressed together. She’s afraid if she opens her mouth to speak she might cry from the sudden well of emotion at finally being able to give this to Emmeline, this comfort and safety she so deserves.

Emmeline slowly lies down on the bed, letting out a long sigh of relief when her head comes to rest on the plush pillow. Liv pulls the covers over her and tucks them around her snugly. She barely resists planting a soft kiss to Emmeline’s damp hair. Barely.

“Goodnight,” she whispers.

Emmeline is already fast asleep.