#and to love as strongly as her friends resonates so strongly with me as a queer person.

[brittlebutch]

one thing i do love about Brennan's storytelling is how often he creates characters who carry Anger with them. like, it's not an anger that subsumes or permeates who they are, nor does it tend to Remain throughout the entirety of their arcs, but it's there, in Zelda, and Hob, and Evan, and Ayda, and Nikhil, and so on. Characters who snap and snarl and growl and shout, and - and this is Key - are never like, reprimanded, or corrected, or resented for it. i cannot express how much this means to me

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hey The Neon Void readers, quick update from the author's sister!

(art commission by @kaysdenofchaos)

Hi readers of The Neon Void fanfic. This is the author’s older sister. She’s been getting a lot of fan art and asks lately. She’s sent me screenshots of a few unanswered ones looking for advice on how to respond.

While all the love and support of TNV is genuinely appreciated, my sister @sugarpasteltmnt is not equipped to respond to a small handful of these asks/comments that are, quite frankly, inappropriate.

Sugarpastels is not a therapist, and she’s certainly not an internet stranger’s therapist.

She’s an adult with an extremely demanding and stressful job for a very large client. Some of you have already experienced and enjoyed her work IRL without knowing it. Her company is close to finishing another project that will bring a lot of joy to hundreds of thousands of people every year, but working on a project of that scale is extremely stressful.

She is writing this fanfic for fun. TNV is a way for her to decompress and put her creative energy towards something other than work.

What’s not fun is coming home to asks/comments from readers who are projecting their own struggles/mental health onto TNV, and even Sugarpastels herself, and demanding some sort of attention from her over it.

Let’s be real: it’s fun to watch our blorbos suffer! So much of fandom is just us putting our favorite characters in Situations because it’s fun. Simple as that. But I think another reason TNV has resonated so strongly with readers is because of the way Sugarpastels writes the internal struggles of these characters.

We are both aware that TNV deals with mental health topics. Since the early days of “modern” fandom, fanfiction has been a way for people to explore complicated, difficult and sometimes even taboo subjects. There’s no shortage of complex feelings being explored in TNV, which is why we’re all having so much fun reading it.

But that’s all it is; an exploration. Sugarpastels is not a mental health expert. I’ve read a handful of books on PTSD and mindfulness for research while writing my own fanfic, and I would never consider myself prepared to help someone else.

It’s okay if you relate to things from TNV. I know I do! Again, fanfic has always been a way to read about things rarely dealt with (or handled poorly) in published fiction/tv shows/movies. I will always argue one of the greatest things about fanfiction and other fanworks is being able to see ourselves and our own struggles through our favorite fictional characters.

But Sugarpastels is not a fictional character. She’s a real person. Most importantly (to me at least) she’s my little sister, and this big sister cannot handle watching some of her readers expect more of her than is appropriate.

So I’m asking you to please be mindful of what you ask/say to not just her, but literally everyone on the internet. Unless you’re chatting with someone regularly, they do not know you. Whether it’s friends, family, teachers, coaches, etc, there are people in your life who know you personally, and are therefore better equipped to help you than a stranger on the internet.

Sugarpastels is so full of empathy that it’s hard to not feel for you when you send things like this. But it just isn’t fair to put that kind of unnecessary pressure on someone who is, at the end of the day, just trying to have some fun writing about ninja turtles bein’ sad.

(That being said, PLEASE DON’T BE SCARED TO SEND HER ASKS AND FAN ART!!! They make her day every single time and are seriously so, so appreciated. She’s texting me about it constantly how much she loves all of TNV’s readers. This whole post is really directed at an extremely small percentage of her readers, but there have been enough I felt something needed to be said.)

[astrologuzzy]

✿ MORE ASTRO OBSERVASHUNS ✿

I’m back to spill more astrology observations, lessgetit!!! ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

Also, quick reminder that these are just MY observations and opinions I’ve gathered, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! mwahhh 😽💋

☆ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 seem to really like physical displays of affection very much. Every Gemini I knew always loved giving hugs specifically lol. They may enjoy physical touch as a love language.

★ I often notice how 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 aren’t scared to give their opinions no matter how controversial they may be. They don’t care if people agree, if they truly believe in it then they will share it and whoever disagrees can kiss their own ass. Which can seem intimidating to many especially with how much intensity and passion Scorpio brings to the table.

☆ I find it so easy to spot someone with 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒. You guys give a very mellow and grounded energy that is very specific to Earth signs. Y’all have that signature down to earth presence or a very firm/calm tone of voice that I recognize instantly even thru text lol.

★ Everyone wants to call Leos the most “cocky” sign but have y’all seen 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈? They’re the real culprit here lol. These guys are number one fans of themselves (do I even need to make examples lol) and I respect it tbh.

☆ Speaking of 𝐋𝐄𝐎, they love to just disappear for like days or weeks straight out of absolutely nowhere and then come back like nothing happened and resume from where they left off. Like sir, are you not gonna explain why you just ghosted everybody? Lol like are you gonna explain where you was? (double points if that Leo has Sagittarius or Aquarius influences in chart cos they’re even more prone to going mia).

★ When people have 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 in their big 6 or heavy Mars influence in the chart I notice that they tend to sound/come across way ruder than they’re actually being lol. They can be very dominant and intimidating in conversations. You’d think they’re angry or being mean but they’re just asking you to pass them the water bottle lmao. Often I think they don’t even realize that themselves since they’re just built that way.

☆ People with 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 & 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 in their big 3 together kinda scare me lol (in a good way). They usually are very into occult stuff and/or are strongly religious and showcase it very openly and firmly. Sometimes they just have a very intimidating aura/demeanor to them. I notice how they frequently tend to be very into dark colors and themes/styles too. They don’t f*ck around at all. Love y’all 💚

★ People with a 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐒𝐔𝐍 usually have their Moon sign qualities be more noticeable. With Geminis I tend to catch onto their Moon sign behavior before I realize that they’re a Gemini. Could be a mutable thing where they’re versatile enough that their Moon qualities shine more than their sun sign qualities. Very frequently when I try to guess a Gemini’s sun sign I actually guess their Moon sign. They tend to act like their Moon more than other zodiac signs in my experience. They may not even notice it either.

☆ I hope I don’t offend anyone for this one but people with a 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 (frequently more moon) mother tend to have veryyyy chaotic childhood stories about her. Somehow these moms tend to often be pretty emotionally unhinged people (no offense but in my experience so many of my friends have a mom with a Pisces sun and/or Pisces moon and they all always tell me how their moms have crazy mood swings or a very erratic behavior). I’m honestly so sorry for anyone who had, or still has to deal with such an environment. 🫂💚

★ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 & 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 are the best opposite sign duo in astrology imo. I’ve never seen many Geminis or Sags that say they dislike or don’t get that along with one another. We really click well and even I personally can testify that lol. These two always besties.

☆ Also 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 loooove anything to do with 2D characters or just fictional stuff in general. They love their ffs, romance books, making fan arts or edits. Every Pisces I knew had some kind of obsession with multiple fictional characters or shows and each one of them had accounts dedicated to making art or edits about said characters/shows lol. No matter if it’s a manga, an anime, a video game, a song, a movie or a cartoon, a Pisces placement will most probably romanticize a character or wtv it is they feel resonates with them in some way. I know lotta people do that but Pisces are usually more prone to be very frequent and indulgent with it in my experience. Not judging anyone, just pointing it out lol.

That’s all for todayyy ☀︎

Also please don’t copy or claim my content without credit or consent ♡

[agentc0rn]

On that day, we became friends. We became rivals. We became legends.

Happy 1st anniversary Scarlet and Violet! This gen holds a special place in my heart; thanks to the co-op mode, I was able to play this game with my brother, which we have not played together for ages since BW. We battled a lot and he helped me find the remaining two stakes (which I can proudly say that I found the rest on my own without relying on the guide) during Christmas. It was so fun and I genuinely felt like I was thrusted back to that time.

Yes, the issues are unfortunately undeniable to forget, but gosh darn it I love this game too much especially the cast. I felt strongly sympathetic towards Nemona, who didn’t have anyone to share her joys and passion with at full extent; Penny, with her struggles with isolation and bullying; then we have Arven, who took care himself basically for most of his life without parental care, and sought whatever means to help his good ol doggo. And then we have the Kitakami siblings, which I hope we can make amendments cause oh boy, Kieran's personality and frustration losses resonated with me a lot. A lot. Then we have our korai/mirai. I love, love, love how we end up creating a name, a legacy for ourselves and our riding lizards. Plus, the lore for the ruinous four is just absolutely awesome.

Support me on Ko-fi!

[rthko]

i'm not a gaylor, couldn't care less about that woman, but ngl that thread got me thinking. do you think it would be fair to posit that classic pop fandom presumes heterosexuality from the female stars it consumes? the figure of the diva specifically feels very straight woman centered, the only exception i can think of being maybe lady gaga. well i guess everything presumes heterosexuality from everyone, but it does feel slightly different in this case imo

I think it's a fair observation. A lot of gay men, starting in childhood, strongly identify with women in media. As kids without known queer friends or role models, who knew we didn't relate to most other boys, we often thought of ourselves as more similar to girls. I obviously can't say this is universal among gay men but it's common enough that, for example, I can talk about how badly I wanted to be Anne Hathaway with a group of like minded gays and no one will find it unusual. Others will even chime in with the women they wanted to be! And I think this sort of identification often comes down to identification with women as desiring agents (making it easier to express attraction to men) and as siblings in abjection. Like, the boys are mean to you? Us too. Let's play house at recess about it.

I make it sound very adolescent, and that's where it seems to start, but it's also because there's no guarantee it will turn into any sophisticated friendship or political affiliation with women. I think diva worship, fag/hag relations, and anything similar are morally neutral. It can speak to genuine interest and support, or it can be a patronizing charade that refuses to relate to women beyond an expected shared attraction to men. I can't say that diva worship is any one thing because it can come from a place of genuine respect for a woman's artistry and be a symbolic outlet of gender expression or a parasocial mess.

Lady Gaga is herself an interesting example because yes, she is bisexual, but that doesn't really come up in her diva treatment. But the example of Taylor Swift, as discussed in the thread you're mentioning, is also unusual. The accusation, for the unacquainted, is that gay men aren't sympathetic to "Gaylor" because they want her to be straight so they can give her the diva treatment. But, and I mean no offense by this, that's not really the reason most people like her. Everything about her public image is too personal and "relatable" for her to fit that larger-than-life mold. Clearly that works for her, clearly that has yielded results, but personally I find her most interesting when she knows she's delivering a fantasy. If this seems like a superficial way of viewing art, I would counter that treating an artist as a detached patron saint of glamour and obsessing over every detail of their personal life are two sides of the same parasocial coin.

I think the ideas that are really in conflict in the "Gaylor" vs "Hetlor" debate (and for the love of God come up with a more tasteful name for the latter) is not really whether Taylor Swift is queer or straight. I'm sure you'll agree that not being onboard with Gaylor does not mean someone has a specific investment in her heterosexuality, because most of us don't really care. The conflict is between two different ways of relating to art. Rather, it's about relating versus resonating. Even if Taylor Swift is gay, hardly anything about her life, as might be explained by her wikipedia page, is relatable. But maybe one resonates with the pressures of having to please everyone, to the dehumanization of men's "Madonna-whore" complex towards women, to heartbreak, to dancing it all away. And maybe one specifically relates from a queer perspective. Go for it! It's unfortunate that Creep by Radiohead has a bad reputation, because I and a lot of other queer people find it really resonant. I don't get crushes on straight guys like I used to, but when I did it was humiliating! It wasn't the prospect of their rejection that hurt, but the idea of being repulsive and looking in from the outside at a world you will never belong to. It speaks to a queer perspective, but I don't have to wonder if this was intentional or if Thom Yorke himself is gay to see it.

I think, memes aside, the Internet is excessively cruel to Swifties. Even with Gaylors, I feel for their need to identify with an artist they feel feel expresses an underrepresented point of view. No, James Somerton, a handful of children's cartoons does not prove that lesbians are winning the representation war. But I also want to say to them that, a perceived lack of representation aside, no one is forcing you to speculate about this woman's sexuality. If she is just as straight as she claims to be, that doesn't have to ruin your queer readings of her work. If a straight woman sang the words "you can want who you want; boys and boys and girls and girls," and it came from the heart, good for her.

This was all very characteristically meandering of me and only kind of answered your question. I agree that a lot of gay men's interest in women is stunted by the expectation that they could only bond over shared attraction to men. I think gay men owe queer women the world. I also just don't really think this applies to the Gaylor thing. She is, as far as anyone knows and as far as she herself has stated, a heterosexual woman. That said, I do agree that the lesbian diva is an under-explored archetype that I'd love to learn more about.

[coraniaid]

buffy/faith for the ask game

(Reverse unpopular opinions)

Easily my favorite Buffy ship and one of my favorites in any work of fiction. I think the main reasons it works so well for me are:

The way it resonates so strongly with what's going on in the rest of the show the season Faith arrives. I mean, Buffy comes out to her mother (as a Slayer), which is treated by the show as ... well, as Buffy coming out ("it's because you didn't have a strong father figure, isn't it?" / "have you tried ... not being a Slayer?" / "I've tried to march in the Slayer Pride Parade...") and a handful of episodes later Buffy meets another girl who is also a Slayer and who she starts spending a lot of time with (because they have a connection -- "it's kind of a Slayer thing" -- which she doesn't have with her other, non-Slayer friends). And while they're busy patrolling cemeteries and looking for vampires every night, this other Slayer is keen to (1) talk to Buffy about sex and quiz her on her love life; (2) repeatedly tell her that "all men are beasts" and "losers" who can't be trusted; (3) suggest that Buffy should be more open to having sex with the people she spends her nights hunting vampires with (like ... who, Faith?); and (4) is delighted when Buffy breaks up with her boyfriend (and later furious when she gets back together with her previous ex) and immediately suggests that she could replace him ("You're still going to that dance, right? [...] Why don't we go together?"). If this was deliberately laying the ground work for an explicitly romantic arc, it would feel pretty heavy-handed. The fact that it apparently wasn't (at least not on the part of the showrunner or of most of the writers) almost makes it work better, in some ways.

The way that Faith is, from the very beginning, very deliberately written as a foil for Buffy, a person Buffy might have been if things went just a little differently in her life -- because she goes through things very much like things the audience has already seen Buffy go though (living alone in a small place in a strange town with no friends all season the way Buffy did in Anne, panicking and starting to pack to run away in Faith, Hope & Trick in the same way Buffy was accused of doing just the episode before, killing a person the way Buffy thought she had in Season 2's Ted, the way her fear of Kakistos mirrors Buffy's fear of the Master in When She Was Bad) and because she is so aware of the fact that she's always being compared to Buffy and coming up short, either by other people or herself ("you get the Mom, you get the Watcher ... what do I get?") it's very easy to tie Faith's arc across the show back to Buffy and to her feelings about Buffy. Faith wanting Buffy to accept her becomes Faith wanting this idealized version of herself to forgive her failings. And likewise Buffy recriprocating Faith's feelings and admitting to herself that she is attracted to Faith becomes Buffy accepting that Faith (and the things she represents) really are an integral part of Buffy herself; that Faith isn't entirely wrong when she says that Buffy enjoys being a Slayer and that being a Slayer is something she should be proud of (or, again, being "a Slayer").

Apparently this wasn't the original plan for the character (if there ever was anything like an 'original plan'), but the fact Faith's arc in Season 3 so clearly mirrors Angel's in Season 2 -- and the fact she is so very weird about Angel all season (and that Buffy is equally weird about how attracted to Faith she just keeps insisting Angel must be) just naturally suggests that Faith might have a similiar role to Angel in the narrative beyond just the circumstances of her betrayal of (and later not-quite-being-killed by) Buffy. And Angel is -- for the first three seasons of the show at least -- primarily cast in the role of Buffy's doomed tragic love interest who she has to (metaphorically) kill but will later be reunited with. Which makes Faith ... well, something.

Even if not all the writers were on board, the fact that Eliza Dushku was deliberately playing Faith as attracted to Buffy (and that SMG was playing Buffy as alternately frustrated by and protective of and tempted by Faith) gives their scenes together a chemistry that I don't think most of Buffy's (or Buffy's) canon relationships ever managed. Whether that's the Amends porch scene or Buffy kissing Faith in the hospital in Graduation Day or any and all of their various fights across the show. And those fight scenes are all great, which is another thing I love about the ship: is it really a proper enemies-to-lovers arc if one of the people in it hasn't tried to kill the other one and left them in a coma for months?

Faith's return to Buffy in the last five epsiodes of the show is one of the last season's saving graces, and it helps that by this point the writers definitely seemed to be playing up the ship deliberately ("Willow said you needed me: didn't give it a lot of thought" / "Defensiveness and weird mixed signals ... I've got Faith for that" / "Deep down you've always wanted Buffy to accept you. To love you." / "It feels like it's mine ... I guess that means it's yours"). Even without ever being canon and without wandering what happens post-Chosen, it feels like there's a real narrative arc to their relationship, from their initially rocky start through to "just good friends" to bitter enemies through to Faith seeking (and finding) some measure of redemption and Buffy cautiously letting her back into her life. Faith isn't in the show much (or even mentioned in the show in most episodes), but it feels like she has a genuinely meaningful connection to Buffy that most characters who appeaer in less than a season's worth of episodes can't manage.

The thing that made the ship work for me, rewatching the show after several years back in 2020, is the fact that Faith is -- even at her worst -- incredibly sympathetic precisely because she is such a loser and hates herself so much. She boasts about being a great actor despite the fact we see her awkwardly telling the sort of transparent lies that ... well, normally only Buffy manages (compare "There's this big party ..." in Amends to Buffy trying to tell her old crush Ford that "there was a cat ... and then there was another cat, and they were fighting"), she wants people to think she's cool so badly but only manages to fool Xander and Willow, she tries to act as though she's happy without friends but we only ever see her alone sitting watching old tv shows or lying listlessly on her bed, she insists she doesn't need a Watcher and "has a problem with authority figures" but she is so openly desperate for any sort of parental guidance in her life that she sides with first Mrs Post then the Mayor. She ties Buffy's mom up so she can have someone to listen to how sad she is that Buffy's moved on to a new guy in college and "dumped" her. The scene in the church in Who Are You? where Faith-as-Buffy furiously attacks Buffy-as-Faith while screaming through tears that she's "nothing ... disgusting ... murderous bitch" is, I think, a strong contendor for the best scene the show ever produced.

As Doug Petrie said, the reason Faith works as a character -- and the reason that Buffy/Faith works as a ship -- is that Faith is incredibly unhappy. If Faith was the cool loner she tries to pass herself off as -- and which some of the fandom seems to think she is -- the ship wouldn't be nearly as compelling to me. Faith isn't just the part of Buffy who loves Slaying and pushes back when other people give her orders, and she's not just another verison of Angelus. She's the part of Buffy from Becoming who lost everything and ran away from home, only unlike Buffy she never got to go home again. As Angel asked Buffy in that episode: "no friends, no hope ... take that away, what's left?". Well, Faith is what's left. Of course Buffy would see herself in Faith, right from the beginning. Of course Buffy would want to protect her. As Buffy (Sunnydale Class Protector 1999) tells Angel, Faith is in pain ... she's somebody who "some people ... protective-type people" are naturally drawn to. The show is very consistent about the fact that Buffy's type is friendless losers who look good in leather and can fight alongside her in battle (but not quite as well, so she can protect them and look after them when they're hurt). And what bigger loser in the show is there than Faith?

[ecoterrorist-katara]

love love love ur parentification analysis on sokka and katara especially katara’s section! it puzzles me so when KA’s say ZK’s do not understand the show nor katara when to me it’s so obvious we do 😭

thank you so much anon! I’m so happy that my post resonated with you!

A while back I saw a Tumblr survey about favourite characters and ships. It basically showed that for people whose favourite character is Katara, Zutara is the most popular ship. Obviously the Venn diagram between Zutara shippers and Katara fans isn’t a circle, but I think the overlap contributes to why so many ZKs are passionate about Katara. Also, ZKs who are Katara fans tend to be pretty flexible with Katara ships: many people like Harutara / Jiangtara / Yuetara / Sukitara / Azutara (though most shippers of Azutara tend to be Azula stans first and Katara stans second). What’s really funny and a little sad to me is that non-ZK Katara fans who dislike her canon arc get accused of being ZKs by antis (this happens weirdly often to @sapphic-agent). It’s like some antis can’t comprehend the idea that people might just love Katara without the ship war.

I generally like reading POVs from Katara fans of all ships, but I recently discovered that I tend to disagree with POVs from Zukka shippers. They often try to defend Katara’s “childhood” by pointing out that Katara sometimes goofs off and Sokka also takes responsibility, so she’s not just the “mom friend.” To be clear I’m not disagreeing with those points, but I don’t think downplaying her parentification trauma is defending her childhood, especially since goofing off & being impulsive make her parentification more realistic, not less. It feels kind of disingenuous to accuse the fandom of being the ones to parentify her when The Runaway exists, especially since they downplay Katara’s parentification in order to play up Sokka’s parentification. There’s nothing feminist about ignoring the invisible labour performed by a woman in a cartoon, not when brave women IRL have been agitating to recognize care work for literal decades. I wrote my undergrad thesis on invisible labour performed by women, especially women of colour, in radical activist spaces…so I feel really strongly about this.

I think it’s interesting that a lot of ATLA fans claim Katara shouldn’t be with Zuko on the grounds of her colonial trauma, but refuse to entertain the notion that maybe she shouldn’t be with Aang (a kid who evades responsibility) because of her parentification trauma. The murder of her mother stems from imperialist violence, but her subsequent parentification stems from patriarchal gender norms around divisions of labour and assignations of responsibility. The patriarchy is a thing in ATLA, and it’s canonically something that Katara hates almost as much as the Fire Nation (incidentally, reason 27363729 why the fic Southern Lights is so special to me is how it deftly explores both anger at a colonial apparatus & anger at your own people for their patriarchal oppression).

[lauraryuguji]

"Just dance with me." You murmured as the sun tried to warm cold skins, as hopes were lost after fifty days in freezing hell.

Numa looked up, only to find her hand reaching for him. There was a sad smile on her face, one of those that are usually followed by a line that resonated sadly through the cold.

"You know I can't dance." He held up his hand, but didn't get up. Just enjoying how warm his hand was.

"Please, just dance with me." She repeated, more insistent than ever.

Numa didn't understand how, just after learning that the quests had stopped dancing, it would help. He knew, however, that this action wasn't just a dance, it could be the distraction he craved.

The boy shook his head before standing up and grabbing her back, they were both close, for the first time he was actually dancing with the girl. But this time, there was something less romantic than he had imagined. His eyes met hers, and vice versa. A deep look that now meant so much more.

"Take me back to the night we met." She says as a tear insists on sliding down her cheek."That's what I want most." Numa wipes her tear away, he secures her face and kisses her forehead.

She closes her eyes, swaying slightly, her body exhausted, and as much as she knew her end was near, she still had that hopeful look in her eyes. The snow falls on them, but the music resonates through her mind without question.

"Numa..." she smiles slightly. "I've been in love with you ever since I saw you."Numa knew, he was too. You were the main reason his friends convinced him to go on this trip, your name was mentioned at that bar table.

"Thanks for speaking first." He laughs. He laughs. "I love you."

When people are close to death, they often have the thought they should have every day. You knew that your body was shutting down for good, you knew that malnutrition, dehydration and the bruises from the fall were already at their limit. And it was only now that you had the stupid courage you'd been lacking all along.

Numa hugged you when the wind blew strongly, and you clung to him as if your life depended on it. A thought ran through your mind, a plea, you knew you wouldn't survive, but please, let him survive.

"Can I ask you something?" She murmured against his body. "Do you promise to stay alive until the end?"

He lifted her face and planted a longed-for kiss on her lips, it was the best thing that had happened here, it was like being in heaven.

"We will." His eyes showed the conviction he had.

It was with such certainty that if you didn't feel death ahead, you would have believed it. You wanted to believe, you swear you wanted to... you were young, you hadn't graduated yet, you hadn't said goodbye to life, you hadn't done so many things.

A smile crossed your face when you shook your head affirmatively at him, it was what he needed to see, not what was true.

That same night, before retiring for the night, you sought out the person responsible for cutting, and in a weak voice gave your release. You knew deep down that he wouldn't want your body, it would be too crazy for everyone. Death was too crazy, we've already lost so many.When you went to sleep, you wrote letters, you made sure to write one for everyone and you also wrote the names of everyone who had left, just to make sure they hadn't been forgotten. And then you lay down next to Numa's sleeping body, held his hand and cried weakly.After fifty days of surviving, his body shut down. 

He died during the night, sleeping with a smile on his face and clutching Numa's master, it seemed like a dream.

[galene-gothic]

𝖳𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾, 𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝗐

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏ��༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

"Send my love to your new lover, treat her better. We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts. We both know we ain't kids no more."

"I saw the signs and I ignored it, rose-coloured glasses all distorted. Set fire to my purpose and I let it burn. You got off on hurting when it wasn't yours. We'd always go into it blindly, I needed to lose you to find me. This dancing was killing me softly. I needed to hate you to love me."

Someone/many different people who you were strongly committed to you seem to have done you dirty. At that time, you were the greenest green flag, you were dependable and wanted to come off as someone like that as well. You were grounded, you were humble and in your 'treat people well' era. You felt like everything was fine until it wasn't anymore. People around you started acting shady, you picked up on the negative vibes or out of the blue, you found out about something that someone close to you did or said behind your back. For some of you, there seems to have been a boy or man involved, it could not be connected to the first scenario at all but for most of you, there seems to be an energy of people leaving one after another, something like your friends backstab you then you find out about your boyfriend cheating and even your guy friend chooses to say hurtful things just for the purpose of tearing you down. If the boy situation does resonate, you realised that they were with you for their own selfish reasons. You felt like they manipulated you for their own personal gain. This guy could've kept you a secret from others. For a while, you continued lying to yourself about this situation due to the affection or attachment that you felt towards them. You were trying your best to believe that something when it was just not the truth. Regardless of which one of the scenarios resonate (for many of you, all of these will resonate), you felt betrayed and to be honest, you were in fact betrayed. When this event happened, you felt the need to be realistic and practical, you knew that you deserved something mutual but maybe due to love, it took a while for you to walk away. Walking away seemed to be something that you did only after you were completely drained out. You were still bonding with other people, maybe you were exposed to others after this event happened so you had no choice. Even though, you seemed to be having good platonic relationships, they felt shallow to you or they made you happy but you weren't able to talk about you deepest emotions to anyone. You were breaking down on the inside but due to your public or social image, no one seemed to see it. It was a time for you to receive healing, you weren't doing well emotionally. A lot of chaotic events happened in your life one after the other but at that point, you were just resting. These people and situations broke you down to the point, you lost your self esteem.

You needed support and help at that time but you were not getting it, I feel like you were not even trying to talk to anyone about your emotions to be honest. It was difficult for you to think clearly. Your judgement was very blurry. Regardless of how painful it must've felt, if you look back, you'll notice that you've released so many negative thoughts, habits, feelings and just way of being. Negative feelings coming up, everything falling apart was just for things to get better. I'm getting that these were negative cycles and connections disguised as positive ones so you didn't understand how you didn't see it earlier. You might have noticed red flags but because they acted alright after that, you didn't think that it was important to walk away. You were confused about a lot of things. You were stuck in that toxic cycle for so long and realised just how much control it had over you. You felt the need to take responsibility for things that weren't even your fault. In the thick of healing, you thought that you deserved all the bad things that they were doing and saying to you. You thought that these people genuinely had good intentions towards you and were 'your people'. I'm getting multiple people here but there's a chance that it was either just your friends or your love interest. Even if it wasn't a love interest, a guy could've been involved. You sometimes wonder how you didn't notice the huge red flags earlier and were naive enough to believe that those people had loving intentions for you. You could've been really nice to most if not all of these people so you were just like, "why? I was nothing but nice to them". There seems to have been some (a lot tbh) confusion in such aspects. This is confusing but I'm getting best friends who turned against you after a mistake you made but you found out that they didn't like you all along or if a guy was the main problem here, it could be a best friend or a boyfriend/situationship who broke you down until you had to leave them. For most of you, it is both. The closure is that this person thought that they had a certain control over you so when they realised that that was not the case, they got over dominating. In the case of friends, they found a reason to finally bully you so they took it. These people were all really dishonest and are the kind of people who are not willing to change their ways. They were angry at you but it was not because of what you did, for the guy it was because they had frustrations in their own life and for the friends, it was because they 'thought' that you thought that you were better than them.

There was a lot of chaos, what they forgot is that you're a very strong character, you might have bended to meet their needs and match their personalities but it didn't mean that you lost your strength as a person. You adored them so you acted softer, they took it as a weakness. They were all being really selfish. It makes a lot of sense if it was a group of people, they were abusing their power to take advantage of you. For some of you, when you weren't letting them take advantage of you, they started acting all passive-aggressive, outright aggressive or angry. You were giving too much without expecting much, please remember that it's important to have standards. I think that you've learnt your lesson now though. You probably had spiteful arguments and they were not thinking before speaking. It's not alright, they disrespected you. Don't forget the things that they said to you, forgive them but don't let them anywhere near you, though it's your own decision. They made reckless mistakes in the heat of the moment not caring about your emotions at all. They're all people who cannot hold themselves accountable, they did not have your best interests at heart. The things that they said and did were to simply tear you down, it barely had anything to do with the mistakes you made but more about things that were in they own heads. "You think that you're the center everywhere" or "you're all that", things that are just their own insecurities. They were in fact very selfish, I'll give you an example, supposing you broke the girl code, the whole group turned against you but because you broke the girl code but because they all had their own personal grudges against you. Move on, they're not worth it. God/universe/whoever you believe in had to take you away from them because you were just better than them. I don't think that anyone is better than anyone but you were mature in many more aspects as opposed to them. You were trying to make things right and solve the matter at hand but they were just pushing their insecurities and grudges onto you. Your life has definitely gotten better in atleast two ways after these people left your life. Your closure = the disrespect.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

"Take my hand and hold on, tell me everything that you need to say. Cause I know how it feels to be someone, feels to be someone who loses their way."

"And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us, he's in the club doing I don't know what, you're so cool, it makes me hate you so much."

A crush that got nowhere? A 'friend' who's not just a friend? If someone came into your mind, this is your pile. This is tricky though, some of you could have come here thinking about a situationship or relationship break up that was really messy, you met someone after that though, didn't you? The person who you were in a situationship or relationship didn't care about you enough, they were unintentionally using you but it wasn't entirely 'unintentional', they knew that it could hurt you, you gave a lot to this person/situation so you were scorned but that's the happy ending, if you stuck around longer, things would've been worse. Your happy ending in this situation is to tap into your potential, make the most out of it, become more confident and to start a new cycle. For the ones, who met someone else after this situationship/relationship, you were in a state of anguish when you met this person. The situationship/relationship had left you completely drained out. I'll describe the person that you met after that in order to help you confirm. This person has a mind of their own, they are quite different from most people that you've met. They seem so free to you. They helped you change direction and made you feel more confident. They also seem to be a very confident person. They gifted you with a new perspective. The entire situation was very thrilling to you. You had a lot of fun with them and even they seemed to have fun with you. There were times when they seemed really enthusiastic around you. They're also someone who stands strong and has a lot of courage according to you. They're just so different (in the best way) according to you. You are confused because they were really generous with you. You might have gotten a little bit vulnerable around them too. There seems to be a level of connectivity (almost telepathic) between the both of you. They were quite receptive and talkative with you, the both of you were to a certain extent.

That was the dynamic so you don't understand how and why everything just ended. You feel like the both of you were quite observant when it comes to other. I feel like you're like "I just don't get it", I'm getting a little bit of disappointment. You wonder if you read in between the lines for things that don't even exist. You thought that they were curious about you too. Maybe also because of the past relationship/situationship, you started become a bit more rational and this just added onto that. You had really interesting conversations and felt connected to them, you felt a chemistry and connection. You felt like you had to kind of move away from your fairytale romance. 'Fairytale romance' that's how you looked at it. They did come into your life at a time like that so I get it. The ending between the both of you makes you question everything. The closure here is that you're still single, you're free to do whatever you desire. They came into your life as a catalyst of growth, to help you start a new journey. Their intentions towards you were not bad, they gave you a lot of hope for the future, they made you happy. They helped you prepare for a new journey, for most of you, you won't ever end up with this person but regardless of whether you do or not, you'll be fine. They reminded you of the life and love that you desire and deserve. They made it easier for you to let go of your former situationship/relationship. Even this situation, you should let it go. You should accept everything that has happened, forgive them if you do have any resentment against them and focus solely on yourself. You helped them release negative thoughts, feelings and patterns. Their deepest fears resurfaced when they met you and even they themself were healing. Something being fleeting or temporary does not make it insignificant, take care loves. If it wasn't for them, there's a high likelihood of you going back to past toxic people.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

"Why would you speak to me that way? Especially when I always said that I haven't got the words for you. All your diction dripping with disdain, I always tell the truth."

"I've never known someone like you, tangled in love, stuck by you, from the glue. Don't forget to kiss me or else you'll have to kiss me. I guess I'm forever stuck by the glue, oh and you?"

"Never thought I'd find you but you're here, and so I love you. I'm not lying when I say I've been stuck by the glue onto you."

Who cheated on you? If it was not cheating, it was still something that caused you to feel betrayed. Majority of you have mommy issues, some of you are here with her on your mind while the rest of you are here thinking about someone who is like your mother if you carefully think about it. You got manipulated. This person was out of control with their actions and words when it came to you. They were mean too. You really neglected yourself because of this person. They left you worrying quite a lot. This is giving me similar vibes to narcissistic abuse. You gave too much of yourself to this person :(. You pretty much treated this person like your family oh my god. You were clinging onto them. You were not willing to walk away and move on from this person until things got too much to bear, this person was stripped away from your life not gonna lie. With this person, you had really low self esteem. There were often times when you had to watch what you said just so you don't end up triggering this person because they used to say things to tear you down. They were not willing to communicate and they acted like you were trying to pick up fights. They made you feel a lot of guilt when it wasn't even your fault. You had to fake happiness with that person because everything was always about them, they might have underestimated you or belittled your emotions but you noticed it only after you left the situation and realised that they never cared about you. You started becoming really confident after you let go of them and it caused you a to be a little bit confused because of it. You realised that all of you needed was a leap of faith. They were definitely holding your potential down. You started feeling liberated and free, a very new and sort of uncomfortable feeling for you. They made you feel really humiliated in one way or another.

They were so conceited and honestly a piece of shit, you were just like "I was such a fool, how did I not see it earlier?" Plus the thing is that you were aware of such aspects existing within them, you just didn't know that they were so extreme. You also didn't understand how they could do that to you when you had nothing but pure intentions towards them. Your closure is that they're actually high drama. You were taking too many of their demands and being pressured when they didn't deserve any of it. I don't like to say things like this but you were too good for them, no matter how great they'd become or what they would do, they will never amount to you. Also, no matter how much harder you would've loved them, it wouldn't make them treat you better, I'm glad that you walked away. If you're having second thoughts about it, remember the disrespect, don't forget how much they hurt you. They're just a selfish piece of shit who never deserved you. Also, you were never compatible, you had interesting conversations because you're an interesting person, you had fun with them because you were a fun person, the connection lasted as long as it did only because of your tolerance. Your closure is that you know the right answer from within was to walk away. You were supposed to start seeing things from a different and clearer perspective. You were supposed to learn your boundaries now. It was important for you to find new purposes or realign with your purpose that you might have abandoned for other people. Your direction is supposed to be different from this person's and set there. You're supposed to be the one that got away and stayed away. You felt like you were stuck by a glue onto them because of the attachment that you had with them. It might have been difficult for you to leave this person earlier due to guilt, attachment or just loneliness, you might have been worried about them though.

[gleefullypolin]

The Female Role - Male Purpose discussion - Bridgerton

So I'm going to share something personal. I married young, at 20 when I had no idea what kind of person I was. That marriage ended in divorce and I spent a lot of time as a single mom and making a lot of really bad mistakes. But after a LOT of those mistakes, including marrying someone a lot younger than me, which was a HUGE mistake, I learned who I was. Yes it took a lot of years but I guess it took those things to figure me out, and then I met my best friend at work. And I was friends with him for a lot of years. He saw me through that second divorce as a great friend. Through all of that I became a very fierce, loud, proud independent woman. Anyway I ended up falling in love with my best friend years later, who has learned to contend with this now very sure of her self woman.

Through all of that long story, I can say that Pen became sort of someone I really understand. What they said in this interview really resonates. This notion of knowing a woman can take care of herself, that you are self sufficient and that you don't NEED a person in your life, but you WANT them in your life, that is impactful. That is how I feel. So I think that's why I felt so much emotion with those parts of the season and understood so much of where Pen was coming from. She didn't need Colin, but she loved him and wanted him simply to be with her. To love her because having him by her side is all she required.

But I also understand Colin's side, because it took my husband a lot of grace to understand what it took to be with me. Because at this stage in my life, I did not need my husband. He did not need to save me from the ruin of my life. He simply needed to be there for me and that was not always easy and has not always been something for him to understand. I am the breadwinner in my house, I am the one with the six figure job and he takes care of the home. It has taken time to adjust to that and he still struggles. But him being there for me, when my days are hard has become his purpose and he cherishes it.

So maybe that is why this story this year resonated with me so strongly and passionately. I understand how both Pen and Colin feel and why they are struggling. I get why Colin is trying to save Pen and why she is resisting him. And I appreciate that they allowed them both to grow into what they needed to be.

Just something from a personal story of why I guess I get it.

[yupuffin]

New favorite scene, probably in the whole game. Absolutely flawless.

I've been playing Genshin Impact for about two years and eight months now, and this is the first scene in the whole game that actually made me cry while I was playing it.

The buildup. The framing. The pacing. The timing. It's so poignant. Not because it's particularly sad. (It's technically about Neuvillette mourning, but it ends up feeling more contemplative than anything else.)

And it's not because it's a big dramatic reveal either. Indeed, that's part of what I love about this scene.

One of my online friends has what I think is a very apt description for Neuvillette's identity: an "open secret."

Even just looking at him, it's obvious he's not a typical human: The pointy ears. The extra-intense slit-pupiled eyes. The super strong eyelash game. The otherworldly elegance of his silhouette. The separate sections of his hair that look suspiciously like antlers, or something similar. (Rhinophores, anybody? Okay, I'll go sit down. 🤣)

Indeed, we get several scenes hinting at Neuvillette's identity, and each gets progressively, tantalizingly closer to the truth without outright revealing it.

Of course, we start with Freminet's retelling of the legend of the Hydro Dragon, for context. Purportedly, whenever the Hydro Dragon of Fontaine weeps, the skies cloud over and pour out rain. (Coincidentally, it seems to rain after trials a lot.)

But it's just a myth... right?

We meet Neuvillette in the opera house, and we know right away there's a lot more to him than there seems to be on the surface. We get the mysterious yet charming incongruity his presence filling the room with a magnanimous silence, only for him to begin apologizing profusely, as he did not realize his reticence was contributing to the awkward atmosphere. He's not Lyney's friend, but sure, he'd be delighted to reciprocate if Lyney offered to befriend him.

Oh, and he's the Chief Justice. But since everyone attending opera house performances has reserved seating, he's not all that special.

Supposedly.

The next scene that continues to unravel the truth behind Neuvillette's identity was among my previous contenders for "personal favorite scene in the game," and not just because of how strongly it resonates with me as a person with blunted affect. Neuvillette tries to extend his sympathies to Navia for dealing with her father's death, but this only incites her anger, which she directs at him for his alleged complicity in said tragedy--he's too callous, too apathetic; if someone as powerful and influential as him had just tried, just cared, he could have prevented it.

Neuvillette faces her in silence, not refuting her accusations, offering only further apologies.

This conversation takes place indoors.

And once we step outside...

Guess what.

Okay, I love this scene, because the way the question of Neuvillette's identity is addressed at this point is already so poetic.

Indeed, due to his blunted affect and his reticence, while we can certainly make educated guesses, we don't get a conclusive read on Neuvillette's feelings about the conversation. What we do get is that, despite the earlier fair weather, it's suddenly precipitating when we step back outside.

And our other hint? That legend Freminet told us.

But we've already left Neuvillette's office, so we can't observe his emotional state firsthand and take that final logical step that would confirm our conjecture. We can only infer that, if the legend is true, the confrontation with Navia led Neuvillette to experience profound grief.

...That's if the legend is indeed true.

Later, we have Neuvillette using a mysterious, supernatural power to subdue Childe during his trial in the opera house. It happens too fast for anyone to witness properly, and when confronted, Neuvillette only extends that of course he's powerful enough to do this, because he's the Chief Justice and maintaining order is part of his job. Anyone in his occupation should be able to do what he did.

Still not a straightforward confirmation that he's the Hydro Dragon, but by now it's just one step down from explicitly stated. All of the evidence considered, it just makes way too much sense. Unless it's all a really, really big coincidence.

So then we spend a couple of Archon Quest acts doing some other adventurous stuff around Fontaine, with the stakes to address the grave prophecy growing ever higher. Depending on how quickly and frequently you play the game, this might take you a couple of hours, or, if you're like me, a few weeks or even months.

Then, during our investigation of the Fortress of Meropide, an insurmountable disaster looms.

Wriothesley's instructions? Go fetch Neuvillette.

Sure enough, the virtuous Chief Justice appears in the nick of time to quell the impending disaster... alone.

That's basically as close to solid proof as we've gotten that there's something truly exceptional about Neuvillette. In a situation that Wriothesley and Clorinde, both capable warriors, couldn't fully address even with their combined efforts, Neuvillette has no other backup.

"So, what's your secret?" Wriothesley quips. "Let me guess..."

There's two or three seconds of silence before he comments, inconclusively, "Maybe it's just your sense of responsibility."

That's another aspect of these scenes that I absolutely adore: they give you time to think. Yes, there's urgency and drama, because the single wall between an apocalyptic scenario and all of Fontaine is on the verge of collapse. Even so, the cutscene gives us space to briefly consider:

Just who or what is Neuvillette?

Is he really a singular being, or is that merely what we're led to believe with the evidence we've happened upon so far?

On one hand, yes, it's obvious that he's, if not the Hydro Dragon, someone unimaginably powerful and special.

On the other... is all of this any more than a glorified assumption? After all, we still don't have explicit confirmation.

Until.

UNTIL.

All of the pieces finally fall together.

The pacing in this scene is, in my opinion, immaculate.

Considering Arlecchino's speculations about Neuvillette's identity, we're led to confront Neuvillette himself: first, about the possibility of him, rather than Furina, being the true Hydro Archon. At first, he deflects, avoiding the question with silence, and Paimon apologetically redirects the conversation. This tension is briefly resolved as Neuvillette remarks, humorously, with a touch of resentment, "If, by 'you guys,' you mean Furina and I ... I must clarify that I do not share her positions on a multitude of topics."

There's another exchange about the situation in the Fortress, and then Neuvillette comments on the impending disaster: "I mourn this turn of events."

And then? AND THEN?

It IMMEDIATELY starts raining. As in, so fast, I thought I'd simply blinked when he tipped his chin up to look at the darkening sky.

Even then, as the players, we're given time to think. The Traveler, observing the abrupt change in weather doesn't instantly inquire about Neuvillette's identity. They contemplate the legend and indicate their thought process to Neuvillette, who only responds, "You may be closer to the truth than you think."

In spite of all of the all-but conclusive evidence we've amassed up until this point, Paimon, hilariously, hasn't caught on yet, and asks the Traveler what they're thinking.

Well, the Traveler responds after a second, "...He's the Dragon Sovereign of Water."

You can practically see the gears turning in Paimon's head as she considers this, and then, a few seconds later...

Paimon is the MVP for comic relief. Even Neuvillette himself concedes that it's really not all that surprising (my initial screenshot). Sure, he's keeping it a secret as far as not speaking of it to anybody, but also... it's so easy to tell.

Which was exactly my experience up until now.

I just adore how this entire issue proceeds. Fitting to Neuvillette's quiet, contemplative character, the buildup of dramatic tension surrounding the question of his identity gives the player ample time to ponder the evidence--to sit with the uncertainty of having a reasonable inference, but lacking the conclusive piece to outright confirm it. And there is tension here, because it's clearly a question he's sensitive about; he doesn't go around telling everybody that he's a dragon. At the same time, given his reclusive nature and influential status, it's not a question we have the opportunity to address him about to his face.

And the resolution of all that tension, while far from explosive--despite the urgency of the impending Fontaine apocalypse--is, in my opinion, incredibly satisfying. Instead of hitting us in the face with a revelation that makes us want to go lie down for a few hours, the story takes time to lead us to that conclusion, and then, in a peaceful scene that is, nevertheless, full of emotional vulnerability and intimacy, sets that final piece of proof gently in front of us, so, rather than being rushed with information, we're given our own time to consider it and process its significance.

Something about that still left me with a sense of awe at learning that Neuvillette really is the Hydro Dragon, almost identical to, but perhaps even more gratifying than, the one I might experience if it really was a big dramatic surprise.

And, to prevent the scene from falling too firmly into melancholy territory (given the nature of the emotions that lead us to this conclusion), we have the best traveling companion, Paimon, to offer her humorous commentary, in the form of being absolutely flabbergasted, a visualization of that theoretical "instantaneous revelation" that probably none of us experienced.

I just love how intricately touching it is. And, of course, I love Neuvillette.

Incidentally, Furina walks by towards the end of this scene, indicating that she's heard at least part of this conversation. While it's not clear from her conduct how much she knew beforehand, her presence seems to imply that Neuvillette's identity is, to some extent, a revelation for her as well, which would add so much depth and drama to their relationship as officials of Fontaine. (Remember that video where she scolds him for truncating a stressful trial?) That said, while I have my fair share of speculations about Furina as a character, I'm not particularly dedicated to/invested in her, and I'm still processing this whole "Neuvillette is a dragon" thing, so, rather than commenting further on this development, I'm just going to put it out there that I'm curious to see where it ends up.

[tizzypizza]

Top 7 idol list?

I was saving this so I could draw it at some point but oh my god I am SWAMPED and can't see myself with time to do it so top list umm.

1- Shiver. I think this is self-explanatory. I love Asian women so much (I'm Asian before anyone starts raising any eyebrows) and her personality is so funny. She's incredibly theatrical and dramatic and has this big persona that she puts on that falls apart SO quickly when it comes to her friends but otherwise she is fierce!! A force to be reckoned with!! But also a sopping wet little guy.

2- Marina. I love women in STEM I LOVE women in STEM so much. My two immediate draws are like... Traditional-looking Asian woman and Smart Woman so. Marina is such a fascinating character and it's always a shame to see her so heavily uwu-ified, she's super smart and she has a lot going on besides just her attachment to Pearl!! But TBH her attachment to Pearl is part of what endeared her to me. Girl who has experienced The Horrors and is kind of a living supercomputer becomes sappy mush when Girlfriend Flashbang. She was also the one who lowkey got me into Splatoon simply by being the prettiest Nintendo character I'd ever seen as a kid.

3- Pearl. I hesitate to put Pearl above Frye because really they're super tight in my head but the only thing that knocks her up a peg is that her dialogue is a lot more fun for me to write in English (Frye talks really interestingly too! She genuinely speaks like an old man in the Japanese but that's just not reflected in the English). I love her so much because at so many moments where she could choose to be snarky or witty with Marina or anyone else, she always chooses kindness and she's always so supportive in her own spunky little way. She's so genuine and fun and silly and self assured and confident and she's so COOL. I hate drawing her hair though. I actually used to kinda hate Pearl as a kid because I fell for the forehead propaganda but I know better now.

4- Frye. LIKE I SAID in my head Frye and Pearl are tied. I love Frye she's such a sweetheart and she has such a fun fierceness about her. She cares deeply for her friends and she keeps her cool the best out of all of her friends in Deep Cut and she DANCES!! Her character design is one of the most interesting designs I've had the pleasure of drawing a shit ton of times and despite being team Shiver nearly every time I get really sad whenever she doesn't win Splatfests :( She deserves it (and tbh I think she deserved to be the leader of Deep Cut but don't @ me on that)

5- Marie. I wish I had more opinions on Marie but given that my earliest hands-on exposure to Splatoon was Sp2 when my friend used to let me walk around as her Octoling and play a little bit of Salmon Run (lost outpost my beloved wherefore art thou) and I've never played Sp1 or 2's campaign I can't really say anything about her other than I think she's really pretty. I think she's often characterized as the more flippant and low-energy one which is a cool thing to see in an idol (who are typically meant to be all smiles) but she's also really silly! She cracks a lot of jokes in the Sp3 campaign!! She's also just really cool and really pretty and white is one of my favorite colors

6- Big Man. LISTEN!!!! I LOVE HIM I REALLY DO BUT Frye-Pearl are soooo close together in my head and I feel only a little less strongly about him than Pearl but I really really love him. He's a blast to draw and honestly he's a lot more fun in the Japanese since Frye and Shiver have extremely thick accents and he's the only one who talks like Just Some Guy. He helps reign them in but he can rarely control them. He's such a lovable little dude.

7- Callie. Love the girl but I've never once resonated with her. I don't do well in the way of happy-go-lucky fun types but I don't hate her! I think she's got a lot of room to be interesting. My friend characterizes her with some flaws relating to like. Octarian prejudice which I think is pretty dope. And I'm not a huge pink fan... But I WILL say she is one of the most fun to draw.

[derekscorner]

Reloaded Rambling: Persona 3

Broken Fulfillment

I finished Persona 3 Reloaded last night and ever since I've been torn between rambling about it and sobbing because the ending never fails to wound me.

I'm not exaggerating for narrative emphasis nor am I joking, I cried. I am a grown man and I cried just as much last night as I did when I beat Persona 3 Fes in the late 2000s to early 2010s.

I can not express in words to you just how much the ending hurts me nor can I express how much I love it. That's why I am broken but find fulfillment...which is as on point with the death theme as anything else.

I even delayed finishing the game because I could feel the emotions and tears welling up as soon as the final month started. I even took a moment to note how ironic it was that the color palette literally grows gray throughout the month.

As 'The Fall' draws near and apathy syndrome grows the very world itself begins to white out yet I feel the story the strongest as it does.

Every interaction with Aigis is emotional pain because I knew what was coming. As she grew as a person, understood love, and found a reason in life I knew that she was about to have that ripped from her.

It wasn't just her either. P3 already had a lot of little moments in the final month as the cast finds their resolve and as you finish what social links you've started, everyone is finding a resolution, they're preparing for a battle they believe they may not win.

In fact, Reload improved on this more with it's link episodes. Everyone playing in the park, Ken's silly combat and coffee practice, the movies with Koromaru, Akihiko and Yukari, everything.

Several of these mini stories wrap up toward the end and it's only when you know about P3's ending that you realize why.

Constant Improvement

I'd even argue that Persona 3 is one of the few stories to properly be remade in recent years. They only added small things to make the story better, updated gameplay, and just overall refined the package.

That's the kind of treatment a remake should be given rather than the laziness you see in movies today or the bait & switch SE pulled with FF7.

And it was only upon typing this that I realized that P3 has had this treatment from the start. P3 Fes only ever expanded the original hit game. Even though many fans didn't like 'The Answer' they at least loved everything added to the Journey.

P3 was then made a classic for a third time with P3 Portable. The PSP limited some things but it is loved for it's female MC and the story changes.

Persona 3 has always been given a positive treatment each time it's tackled and it's so rare.

That cycles back into Reload. We fans had to beg and complain for years but they tackled the remake with every bit of love that you could've hoped for.

The only things they did to earn ere was not including 'The Answer' or the FeMC and as of the time I type this 'The Answer' will at least be added as DLC.

I don't intend to downplay the feelings of those who strongly desired the FeMC either, I am playing through P3P so I get it, I just want to point out that having so few complaints about a remake is so rare.

I went on this whole side tangent to emphasize how impressed I was with the things added. The episodes, a few scenes, it made the feelings that P3Fes gives me just as potent years later.

I'm an indifferent man, I rarely feel emotion let alone genuinely show it, but for years one thing that always broke me was P3's story. To see it remade so well meant a lot to me.

Memento Mori

When I first played P3 I was actually looking for P4. A friend on a KH forum had suggested it as a fan but I couldn't find it on sale. P4 was at the height of its popularity so I couldn't find it at all.

Instead, I found P3 and bought it. My friend was a bit annoyed and said P4 was better but I played it anyway and by God it broke me.

At that time I had a depression problem. I have had one since 8th grade at that point in my life so P3's theme of death resonated with my core.

I had no spoilers for this story then, I thought we were defying fate like any other RPG and looking back I should've expected something. People died often in P3, even main cast, and the story put time into seeing the cast process that.

The single dungeon of the game is Tartarus but no, nothing clipped for me till that final scene.

That final scene caused a whirlwind of emotion to hit me because I could sense something was wrong and your MC only gets weaker as Aigis affirms her feelings and goal in life and the music doesn't stop.

Just when the other SEES remember and rush to find you they arrive only to find you gone. That.Fucking.Broke.Me.

The credits then has the audacity to play an upbeat song as the credits roll. That was it, you died and the entire game clicked in my brain.

The entire game just hits me all at once. The MC's persona is Orpheus, you literally climb through Tartarus towards Nyx, death itself, and you do not come out of it unscathed.

The characters each dealt with death and found a reason to keep living while Aigis found humanity, in those tears I understood that the games message.

Death is not avoidable, even for your MC. His miracle came at a cost, his ultimate persona is the Messiah for a reason but that's not what truly important.

It's the journey to that ending. The MC helped everyone he had a bond with find a reason to live, the games story is a positive one not a sad one.

I felt my brain rewire that day, aside from truly depressing events in my life, I have never truly been depressed again. Not permanently.

Even if I live a life like a hermit I'll never just give up on everything because this story broke me and rewired how I see things.

More importantly for this post, my initial breakdown of emotion always resurfaces when I play P3. I find myself attached to Aigis in particular due to her specific journey and her role in 'The Answer'.

So when I say this remake only added to the positive I meant it. (you probably thought I forgot about that and went on a seperate tangent didn't you~)

Every little scene new or expanded they put in this game makes it stronger. I did not want January to end but I was already a few days in and the game was breaking me.

Koromaru's new linked stories, Shinji, and Aigis in particular were wonderfully done. Everything just ties together in a way that I can't explain to you in a singular post.

These things I've stated not only apply to added content but old as well. A complaint you'll see at times is how some Persona social links seem to contradict the casts main story progression or how some are weaker than others.

Persona 3, any version of Persona 3, does not have that issue. Whether you personally like them all my vary but they are all remarkably consistent with the Death theme, the theme of finding new direction or meaning in life, or they're harmless at worst.

A key part of the reason why is because the Fool & Judgement Social Links are tied to main story progression. The whole reason linked episodes were added was because the main SEES cast have character growth alongside those two arcana as the story progresses.

In P3Fes or P3Portable you could have friend/romance with some SEES based on MC chosen but their actual growth as a character is tied to the story. They grow with you.

And what you do learn on those friend/romance links doesn't contradict with that main story progression. You won't have a situation like in P5 where Ryugi feels like two different people between his personal social link and the main story.

No game is flawless mind you, all I mean to say is that P3 meshes better with it's links and main story. All those lives you help along the way just hit harder during the finale for it.

You can feel like it meant something.

I can't wait for 'The Answer'

I have no decent transition here nor am I sure I conveyed my feelings/meaning as well as I had hoped above. So before these P3 images and OST make me cry again I'll talk about 'The Answer'.

If nothing else, I do hope I have explained how important the main story is to me and I hope that it makes sense to you that I do not consider P3 complete without this story addition.

It had issues in P3Fes, there is no way around that, but given how well they handled this remake I hope they can give 'The Answer' that same love.

Because it's very important to Aigis as a character as well as to the overall themes of life & death. If you have not seen the scenes of The Answer or played P3Fes yourself you may want to skip from here on out btw.

You still there? Good because I need anyone reading to understand that 'The Answer' is key. It's key because it's about grief.

Many of the main cast had to deal with loss and grief in the main story so people find their relapse odd here but you have to remember that no one death is the same. You do not just become okay with important people dying.

You can always fall back on your sadness and that's what happens here. Aigis literally loses the will to live and becomes more machine like, Yukari quite frankly becomes bitchy, and the overall crew is somber.

They thought they had won, your MC lived till graduation. They had their best and worst times with him and he died for reasons that they do not understand.

'The Answer' is quite literally that answer. They learn why he died, Aigis finds her own answer to life, and I wish I could elaborate more but I'm torn between telling you and just hoping you play it.

It's an epilogue and one that I feel P3 needs to have to feel right. It makes your MC's sacrifice feel more worth while to know the cast will use his memory to live better rather than fall back into grief.

It does my soul better to know that Aigis won't give up on life.

I'm spent

There's more I could've said but I'm quite frankly to emotional to add more. I struggled to even be coherent with this and I'm not sure I was.

I consider this the best Persona game yet and I'll always love 3 more than the others. I simply didn't feel attached to the scooby doo gang from P4 and I'm too old to care about the teen rebellion in P5...plus their mascot characters literally agitate me.

I hope you play this game or already have and I hope you're willing to give 'The Answer' a shot. Bye now~

[alterouslyinlove]

I’ve recently been strongly resonating with alterous attraction, for several reasons.

Basically yes I had several “romantic” relationships in high school, but I honestly have no idea if they were actually romantic. When you’re a little kid in elementary school and your best friend is a different gender, people assume you like them and you have a crush on them, so you assume that’s what you’re feeling. As a kid in kindergarten in my case when I had my first “crush”. By the time you get to high school, everyone knows that there are certain things which means you are in love with someone, and being in love has to mean romantic feelings right? Bc that’s the only type of in love? Right?? Being in love equals romantic attraction right?? Of course! No not really, but that’s high school.

So anyways, there were people I got excited to be with, that I loved talking to, that I smiled around constantly, and yeah I dated someone that all of those things happened to me, and we cuddled and kissed and for all appearances, had a romantic relationship. But… was it?? Or was it me assuming that getting excited and butterflies around someone, getting spacey eyed around someone, and enjoying cute gooey lovey stuff automatically meant romance? Butterflies happen when I’m nervous too. I get spacey eyed when I’m daydreaming about fanfics. And I liked gooey lovey stuff with my platonic qpp too where there was no romantic feelings. Was I just assuming that the feelings I had at that time were romance bc that was the pressure I felt from society and from my partner?

Looking back on it, I can’t say for sure that it was romantic attraction or if I just assumed it was and believed it was.

What makes it more confusing is that I like certain romantic aspects, and with my partner now, I love the things that would be “romantic coded” and I am definitely in love with her, but I can’t say for sure that it’s romantic. I found this explanation for alterous attraction, and it’s so relatable. “I want to be with you and talk to you and do everything with you, I just don’t care how it looks for us or how we categorize our relationship.” I’m happy to let my gf take the lead in how romantic or not our relationship appears bc it doesn’t matter to me.

I’ve settled on this term for my attraction towards my girlfriend: romance-inclined alterous. I’m in love with her, and I enjoy doing romantic type things with her, but I might not always feel that romantic attraction towards her. I’m inclined to like romantic things with her and I might sometimes feel romantic attraction towards her, but I won’t all the time.

Kinda turned into a ramble, but what do you think about terms like romance-inclined alterous?

that’s a good way of explaining it!! im sure there are a ton of other ppl that feel that way too, i think that’s a good term. but yeah thanks for sharing :)

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Warning: Venting, moaning, and spoilers ahead. Enter at own risk.

You know, after watching 73 Yards I had a LOT that I wanted to write about. Stuff about the themes like abandonment, but also about science fiction vs fantasy, the need for answers vs the desire never to know, eerie atmosphere vs cool rationality, blah, blah, blah.

But I’m a week too late. That’s old news now, it’s Dot and Bubble time. And I don’t have the time and energy to say much except…

OMG! Did RTD always have such an unrelentingly bleak and cruel vision of human nature??? I mean, okay, we had a woman heroically staying to take care of babies in the goofy first ep, but we also had a world that would abandon a bunch of babies to die. And the last two episodes…

73 Yards depressed me in a way no Doctor Who ever has. I’ve seen every episode that still exists, seen the recons of the lost, listened to every Big Finish audio over it’s first 14 or so years, and read the “wilderness years” novels like popcorn. I mean, I have absorbed so damn many Doctor Who stories in every medium that I wouldn’t know how to count them. Some were dark. Some were depressing. Some were miserable in every way.

But this….

73 Yards made me wonder if there was no damn point in me keeping on living.

Ruby’s plight resonated far too deeply.

Alone and upset she makes the mistake of stepping of going into pub where the locals, in a display of cruelty **that reminded me why I never go into small local places, deliberately scared and then mocked her. Then her life gets soooo much worse as everyone she loves and everyone she turns to for help ends up turning on her. She isn’t merely abandoned, she is treated with complete disgust and with not even a hint of compassion to soften it. She is haunted by the “ghost” of herself, an embodiment of both a mistake of her past and her future death. This “ghost” becomes her only companion as her life speeds on to the always lonely grave. Every birthday is her all alone, no friends, no family, just her and her always distant “ghost” self. And then she grows old and “dies”. Always alone…

99% of my time is alone. I have no friends to turn to. Every friend I ever got close to ended up leaving me. Heck, even online friends always just go away without a trace. I’m in a rural area where the community I’ve lived my entire life had never made me feel included. Back in school once a year I’d get shunned for not being a Christian as they rediscovered it, and the rest of the time there was mere bullying, mocked and belittled, for all the other things that marked me as an outcast. My family were outcasts too, for that matter. My family, where Mom is the only one left who loves me, just a frail voice on a phone I can no longer reach out to. My brother has openly wished me dead and doesn’t want me setting foot in his home, telling me constantly how worthless and disgusting he finds me. Everyone else I’ve loved is dead or gone away. Every birthday is alone, and I’m increasingly aware I’m spiraling to my own death…

No one. Never anyone. Never able to make new friends. Doomed to isolation unto death. No friends. No family. No help. Just me and…..me.

Yeah, it got to me. Ruby gets a moment of using her pain for good, and the reward of a do over. But that’s fiction. My “ghost” self offers no chance to do good, and when I die I will simply rot away (or burn, if whoever gets stuck with disposal duty decides to cremate me. They’d probably just flush me down toilet if I would fit! LOL)

And I thought, ok, maybe that’s just me. Maybe most people won’t feel borderline suicidal as escapist entertainment rubs salt in very open wounds.

But then I thought about the harsh cruelty of the world in the story, the complete lack of warmth and hope. Hell, our heroine stands by and lets a young woman get (strongly suggested) abused by a man she KNOWS is a baddie simply because she needs to prove that that baddie is bad enough to deserve what she is about to do. So even Ruby is a terrible person deep down, tainted by a world devoid of love to the point of treating people as test subjects.

Okay, this is bleak stuff. Great episode, even if I am ambivalent about that all fantasy/no explanations take on Doctor Who.( It also joins things like Grave of the Fireflies on my “Great but NEVER watch again!” list. ) But it’s surely won’t be so dark next time.

Oh dear.

So in Dot and Bubble we get a world of the young and privileged living in their social media bubbles (oh, very subtle), completely unable to function in the real world to the point of being unable to walk.

Okay, that’s not bleak. A bit cynical and harsh, kicking an easy target, but dark comedy material. And the obnoxious gal we are following will surely come to her senses, learn to connect with people, will be grateful for help, and…

Oh. OH!

This is THAT kind of story. Where we are reminded that people are essentially selfish and shallow, where they do things against their own best interests out of things like snobbishness, and the one decent human being we meet is doomed to death by betrayal.

Okay, now the question is, which do I find bleaker. The “you are doomed to always be isolated” episode or the “most people don’t even deserve help” episode.

People complained about the ending of Boom being sappy, but TBH it was kinda a relief for Moffat to pop in and say “Ok, look, love will give you at least a pseudo happy ending now and then. Now don’t go slitting your wrists at the utter nastiness out there…”

And the RTD whispers “I’m not saying slit your wrists, I’m just saying that if you do no one will care. The hysterical laughter at snot monsters and musical diva gods is just the universe having a nervous breakdown in the dark, but that’s fun, isn’t it?”

I’m not saying I think these episodes are awful! Just to be clear, I’ve enjoyed stuff about all of them! I haven’t hated any of them (No, not even Space Babies with their poor little freaked out faces and ill fitting CG mouths creeping me out) And if you don’t feel depressed after these recent episodes I’m very glad. Really. I just wish I had YOUR brain!

It’s funny, after an era where I complained (quietly) about poor writing I am now complaining (loudly) about the horrible mood the better writing is putting me in!

Yes, I will keep watching, trying to hold onto whatever light I can in the darkness. But I can’t say I’m looking forward to being miserable every time. I’m not sure I’m actually having fun. My life sucks enough lately, and Doctor Who making me feel worse is something I NEVER expected to have to deal with.

**Note to self: be glad you can NEVER go to Wales! Yeah, my grandma had a penpal from Wales. It was a lovely old lady she met while they both rested on a bench in the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. I met her and she was quite nice, even as little me withered in shame hearing grandma, in her lifelong childlike innocence, tell an embarrassing detail about me. I rationally know people from Wales are just people. But after that pub scene…

[maze-of-my-design]

Tell me your favourite things about the p5 cast !!! :D

(HI THIS WAS FOR THAT ONE POSITIVITY ASK GAME SRY I FORGOT)

This got really long so it goes under the cut but people should read this may b it took like 50 mins to type out please

Ren: He literally LOVES HIS FRIENDS it's so insane like HE CAN IMAGINE MARRYONG ANY OF THEM even if it's a joke he can see himself married to his friends and he denies godhood for them and for everyone. He gets beaten up and thrown around by cops for his friends. I don't think he'd ever accept the false reality in 3rd Sem because he loves his friends so much and if he gave them agency once he will do it 100 times over.

Morgana: kitty kat :3 I like how he learns to put his ego aside throughout the story and accepts the fact that he Does need the thieves. I love the scene where he admits that the PTs are his place to belong. He's such a hardass for most of the game but really he's just a little guy. "tch, whatever, you guys are the only idiots who wanna keep me around! You'd be nothing without me. Now let's go get a celebration dinner we need refreshments"

Ryuji: HE'S SO SWEET AND KIND!!! HE LOVES HIS MOM!! HE'S A TRUE PUNK!!! he's the coolest mf the thieves have around he's legit THE reason the thieves exist in the first place. If it wasn't for him yelling out Kamoshida's codewords no one would've met eachother. He's willing to put himself on the line for his friends because he CARES he cares about everyone. He's not Ren's kind of selfless but he's his OWN kinda selfless and I love him for it.

Ann: She's literally just a girl. Just a girl in the world. She's so sweet with her friends and even if she hesitates a lil to say it out loud, she demonstrates it. She loves people so strongly that it saves them. She's headstrong and badass, and despite it all she wants to reclaim what was stolen from her. Sure, Atlus fumbled the bag with her writing, but her wish to take back her femininity and use it as her weapon? So real. Ann I love you so much

Yusuke: MY GUY!!!!!! Unironically, I love how weird he is. That's the face of a guy who is unafraid to be himself. Granted, all the thieves learn to be so, but him? He's literally called weird and eccentric, sometimes to his face, but he just keeps at it! He loves the arts, he loves the world, he is so in love with Life and the people in it he wants to capture it all on paper. He's curtsy, he's flamboyant, he's eccentric, he's weird, and he wears it all with a badge of honour. He's also so pretty like have you SEEN him

Makoto: I really like how she breaks free from those she used to please. Her awakening is one of the most cathartic of the game for this reason. Her biker outfit is fantastic for her, it's legit the coolest fucking thing. BUT ALSO! As an ex-people-pleaser myself, learning and internalizing the fact that you owe Nothing to no one at all does feel like that yk? "Makoto the sycophant is gone" is a raw fucking line for her and I love it. She isn't my favourite, but god damn it she's a certified Cool Cat

Futaba: HER. God where do I begin. Her quick wit, her intelligence, her hacking prowess. Her palace resonates with me a lot (I mean, who wouldn't in this day and age?). Being so deep in a hole that you doom yourself to die in it because you think you deserve it. But the way she handles it? Even if the thieves did part of the work (at her behest), ultimately SHE'S the one in power. SHE'S the one in control. And the way she learns that? WHEN she learns that? The whole conversation with her shadow before the bossfight is so fucking cool. The way she feels indignated, her shadow telling her to, indeed, Be Fucking Upset that these nobodies treated her like crap, validates her anger, and just. "No matter what you say to me, I will LIVE!" is probably my favourite line from the whole game hands down. It means a lot to me, Futaba herself means a lot to me, I love her, I admire her, she's so awesome

Haru: HER REBELLION!!!! The way she stands up to her dad is so amazing. I wish the game had given her the spotlight before the bossfight, but what we got was so good (if insufficient) I loved it. Important to mention, also, the fact that she uses her kindness as her weapon. Have you seen how she treats Akechi? She's respectful, curt, she's one of the first to say he should join them in the fight against Shido. She may hate him, but she remains calm. She remains kind. Akechi probably thinks she hates him and should, thus, treat him wrongly. But no, she is kind. Anyway Akechi aside I love her PT aesthetic she's fuckin ROCKING that hat with the vulture feather. I love her.

Akechi: he's so well written that as much as I want to hate him i cannot. His writing dude. He's made me cry. He's made me want to rip my screen apart. He's such a character. I love how his desire for freedom overtakes so much of the narrative. Think about it: he goes along with the Hitman business, with the murders, with shooting Okumura, with shooting his rival best friend Ren, all because he wants to be FREE. He wanted his MOTHER to be free, or whatever remained of her. He wanted to avenge her, to avenge himself, even if it meant dying he, wanted to have Something for himself. He wanted to, for the first time in years, make a Choice. A choice that Mattered. These ideals, while selfish in execution, are what makes him murder, attempt to murder, and refuse the fake reality in the third semester. Fuck being happy, he wants to be Free.

SUMIRE: oh my god. Ohhh Jesus fuck. Ohhhh. My god. Oghf god. I know I'll write a manuscript for just her but I WISH i finished royal myself. I've avoided as much dialogue as possible to get the gut punch myself on my own, I only got to the Rumi parts of Maruki's palace but that's IT. I'm starved. I need to finish Royal.

Sumire. Where do I even start. She feels so real to me...The jealousy, the self-hatred, the longing to be anybody but yourself to be liked, the admiration and clingyness towards the first person who wishes to lend you a hand (+ it becoming so strong you almost build your own self around them), the disdain towards superficial words of support, the loneliness she feels towards her emotions ("you'll never understand how I feel!"), the inferiority complex, the stubbornness to fight for a delusion you upheld for so long because of reality being so frightening to face alone. Even if Atlus fumbled the bag with her too, in all honesty, being 16 is just. Like that. I get it.

Sumire is far too kind to those who don't deserve it. But she isn't stupid, she KNOWS a bitch when she sees one and honestly? It's a crime how she didn't get to have a 1 on 1 with Maruki. Even if she's the one who sked for it, He ruined her. She deserved to be more upset with him, i don't care what anyone says.

Also, it's amazing how high her confidence can go. During her fake awakening, "Kasumi" decides she's had enough of people stepping over her, treating her like a failure. She reminds the world that "I am Kasumi Yoshizawa!" and that she's willing to fight for her place in this world. Her rebellion surges from her wish to not be shoved aside and pupettered anymore, not be treated as a gossip-target or a tool for good rep, but as a person. Sumire, on the other hand, fights to learn this herself. She fights to believe this, to drill it into herself that Sumire Yoshizawa isn't worth being forgotten about. She fights on to believe that Sumire Yoshizawa is worth more than what her brain believes.

But in the end, both versions of herself wish for the same thing: to live. To live proud, stand tall, to remind the world that Yoshizawa isn't just a pretty name on a golden trophy, a tag on a wooden toy, or the name of a science experiment. To remind all of them and herself that Sumire Yoshizawa is a name worth fighting for. And a name she won't forget ever again.

So yeah Sumire's. Cool, I guess