#and to be attacked by your OWN community for being both just sucks

[nigh-temptation]

Imagine HC a character who is canonically straight to be gay and/or trans to make yourself feel seen (totally valid thing to do btw)…

And then shitting on aro/ace people who do the same to characters THEY like and connect with

“They aren’t aro/ace though!”

NO ONE SAID THEY WERE, ITS A HEADCANNON! A HEADCANNON THAT I HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL LESS ALONE IN A SOCIETY THAT SEXUALIZES LITERALLY EVERYTHING

Let me have this

[vallification]

"womanly advice" // JJK AU PT. 2!

incl: satoru gojo, suguru geto, nanami kento, choso kamo (all separate)

content: fluff, flirting, kissing, confessions, drinking

wc: 5.5k

please like, reblog, and tell me your thoughts!!!

satoru gojo

the plan was to meet gojo at the park saturday evening, which gave you wednesday night, all of thursday, all of friday, and the majority of saturday to gather your thoughts (AKA have a silent, 64 hour anxiety attack) before talking to him. both of you figured that it was a good idea to wait until the meeting to say anything else, completely cutting communication between the two of you until saturday. in theory, it was a good idea, but in practice, it completely sucked.

from thursday morning when you last spoke to him to now, friday night, you’ve felt stuck in place. for the past eight hours, you've been sitting on your couch, wrapped up in a blanket, mindlessly entranced in the worst c-list movie marathon you’ve ever seen as you anxiously await saturday evening, just as you have been since thursday. although the exchange of apologies between you and gojo alleviated some of your anxiety regarding your friendship, it didn’t do anything to clarify what actually happened. the actual conflict.

what if he says that he was just messing with you? what if he says he was just teasing you because you’ve been so dodgy and moody? what if he starts telling you about the actual person he’s been referencing to in regards to your advice? what if you acted this way for nothing because he can’t even pick one out of the hordes of women wrapped around each of his long, calloused fingers? what if what if what if what if what if—?

three soft knocks on the front door of your apartment interrupt your mind’s endless cycle of what ifs. it’s half past midnight, and you’re not expecting anyone, but you assume that it’s shoko. on occasion, she’d show up to your apartment to stay over when she couldn’t get to sleep at her own, but surely she’s not calling it a night already, right? who knows, you think to yourself as you make your way to let her in, unassuming and oblivious to who’s actually standing just outside your door.

“hey,” gojo greets, his voice as lively as usual. hanging from one of his strong arms is a few plastic convenience store bags, which you’re sure are filled to the brim with various sweets, and there’s something so distinctly him about that fact that you almost smile. a black hoodie, gray sweats, and sneakers have replaced his usual day clothes, the latter being the only thing distinguishing his outfit from pajamas. if you weren’t so shocked by his random, unplanned visit, you’d wonder if they are his pajamas.

one of his large hands rubs at the back of his neck where his undercut meets smooth, pale skin as he awaits your reply, but you can’t manage anything more than a near silent, “hey.”

“i know we planned to meet tomorrow, but i couldn’t sleep, so…” he trails off, nervously switching his weight from foot to foot on your welcome mat. to prevent any further embarrassment from your mumbling idiocy, you clear your throat and try to form a sentence.

“that’s— no, it’s fine, satoru. is everything okay? did something happen?” idiot. obviously he would have called if something actually happened. you hope he doesn’t see the way you cringe at yourself, but he does. “do you want to come in?”

“everything’s fine,” gojo reassures, now shoving his hands in the pocket of his hoodie to pick at the rough, peeling skin near his nails. “can i? i mean, i could have picked a better time to show up. would’ve been super awkward if you had someone over,” he huffs with a humorless (okay, slightly humored) laugh.

“oh yeah, like who? my mom?” you play along, attempting to ease both gojo’s nerves and your own. moving to open the door further, you step aside and gesture for him to enter, and you realize you’re in your own ragtag set of “pajamas,” consisting of an old stained t-shirt and boxer-style shorts. embarrassing. gojo grins down at you as he steps in, and to evade his eyes you make a show of locking the door once you close it.

“mmm, definitely wouldn’t be your mom. she’s at my place,” gojo replies coolly, still wearing that stupid grin, pushing his black blindfold up to his hairline like a headband. “she’s had a looooong day.”

squinting your eyes as you inspect him, looking up and down his figure once, twice, three times, you shake your head and wince. “surely not that long,” you sing-song.

as gojo kicks off his shoes by the door, you make the most of his occupied time and head back to your spot on the living room couch, wrapping yourself back up in your blanket. being able to banter back and forth has calmed you down enough to not feel like you’re submerged in liquid nitrogen, but you’re 85% sure your socks have holes in them, so you cover up anyway.

“you’d be surprised,” gojo sing-songs back, his eyes shallowly scanning what he can see of your apartment as he slowly makes his way to join you on the couch. it’s clean, he notes, nice and neat, but still warm and lived-in. it smells good, too, courtesy of your candle addiction. from where you sit, he looks like a giant, towering over your couch before plopping down to sit, dropping the plastic bags between the two of you.

“i doubt it,” you reply, outwardly smug but inwardly screaming. nervous, your fingers find and pick at a loose thread at the corner of your blanket, trying to find something to pour their antsy energy into. time to change the subject. “anyway, you’re like, the king of sleeping. why can’t you fall asleep?”

“well,” he starts, pausing for the sound of crinkling plastic as he opens a pack of blue gummy sharks, placing one on your covered knee, and tossing two into his mouth. “i can’t stop thinking about you.”

the way gojo says it makes it sound so simple, so matter-of-fact, as if it wasn’t a confession of some sort. part of you wonders if he’s still teasing you, because you know that he knows how to make even the slyest people seem the most gullible, and everyone knows that vulnerability is not something he’s partial to. you don’t say anything back, but you gingerly pick up the gummy shark and bite off its tail.

“i’m also confused,” gojo says once he swallows his mouthful of blue gummy sharks, proceeding to throw two more into his mouth and place one on your knee. he’s carefully inspecting another gummy, tracing its elementary-level anatomy with his eyes to keep them busy and away from you as he talks. “why did it make you so upset when i said it was you?”

and there it is, laid bare and plain in the space between you. it’s your turn to speak because you know that question isn’t rhetorical, but you don’t let the pressure con you into a rushed answer. as you think, you bite at the poor inside of your bottom lip, a bad habit which will definitely leave it raw and sore tomorrow.

“because it felt like you said it as a joke,” you answer before biting the tail off of the second shark. “like you think the possibility of that is so low that it’s funny.”

more silence ensues. it’s tense, but not tense in the same way last friday night was tense. it’s not aggressive, awkward, or commanding, but rather nothing more than a side effect of the earnesty of the situation. another blue gummy shark is placed on your knee.

“why would it be a joke?”

“why would it not be? you know that you’ve got some of the most beautiful, smart, talented women in the world wrapped around your fingers,” you reply plainly, neither snarky nor sappy. when you look up from your fidgeting hands, gojo is inspecting another gummy. “and you know that i have feelings for you. it could be framed as a joke.”

“i didn’t know that you had feelings for me,” crinkling plastic noises, “these things are good as fuck.”

that makes you both laugh, cutting through the solemnity in the room. in a weird way, your own confession feels like nothing at all— not shameful, or embarrassing, or compromising—just matter-of-fact as its weight rolls off of your shoulders. you rest your head against the cushions of the back of the couch as you stare at gojo, appreciating the way his makeshift headband keeps his soft white hair away from his face.

“is that why you were upset before?” gojo asks, setting the last blue gummy shark in the pack on your knee next to the others. “you thought i was talking about someone else?”

“when you say it like that it sounds dumb.”

“were you jealous?”

“no,” deny, deny, deny. obviously you were jealous, and he knows that now, telling by the same shit eating grin from earlier. if you look close enough, the very tips of his ears dust a light pink, while your entire face flushes beet red. “i don’t get jealous.”

“i think you do.”

suguru geto

beside you on the couch, geto looks effortlessly flawless. the top half of his silky black hair is tied back as usual, but he’s got on a plain white t-shirt and black joggers, the former just tight enough to cling to his biceps and stretch over his shoulders. now that you’re sober, it’s harder to look at him than it is to look away from him, so you sit with your whole body turned to him, your legs tucked up to your chest.

“you know, i never took you as somebody so clueless,” geto starts, leaning back into the couch with one hand behind his head, his bent arm showing off how his bicep is just that much bigger than his shirt sleeves. it’s hard not to be distracted, but his comment pulls your eyes from his muscular arm to his face.

“what?” confusion crowds your features, scrunching up your nose and stitching your eyebrows together.

“i mean, really. everything has just,” his free hand swipes over his head with a quick, light whistle, “right over your head. you know that?”

“i don’t get it,” you reply, your confusion continuing to build when geto offers everything but context. the cogs in your brain are working overtime in an attempt to prove him wrong, but… well, he’s right. in regards to romance, you are clueless. all he does is laugh this time, that same low, sultry laugh that had you glued to your barstool. “okay, i think you’re just bullying me now. did you come here to be mean to me or to let me apologize for making things weird?”

“weird?” geto muses, an almost invisible smirk tugging at his lips, now looking up to the ceiling. for a few seconds, you study his sharp side profile, and the way his adam's apple bobs in his throat when he swallows, but you tear your eyes away quickly when he tilts his head to look at you again. “i think that’s where we’re miscommunicating.”

“you know what? you are really, really bad at having open and honest conversations,” you say, your tone comparable to jabbing a finger at his chest. “i’m the clueless one but you’re the one making this difficult.”

“i’m trying to let you figure it out on your own,” he laughs, readjusting himself to face you and pulling one leg up to lay flat on the couch, bent at the knee so he’s sitting half-crisscrossed. “should i just be honest? or is your mom going to call again?”

huff. your cheeks blossom pink, and you look down at your hands in embarrassment at being called out. “she might call. it depends on what you say,” you murmur.

“are you going to avoid looking at me the whole time i’m here?”

“start talking or i’m dragging you out of my apartment, suguru.”

“i knew what i was doing that night, you know. i’m not oblivious to the effect i had on you,” he says, dipping his head down in an attempt to catch your eyes. geto’s expression seems sincere but no less smug than it has been, reflective of the way he looked at you the night this situation began. “there was no other girl, either. i just wanted to know what you liked, so i figured asking for your ‘advice’,” finger quotes,”would be the best way to find out.”

from your side of things, geto’s words drop in front of you like a bag of bricks. cinderblocks, really, a loud, metaphorical “thud” reverberating through your brain the moment his words sink in. his honesty, while refreshing, overloads your brain, and as you sit there, blank-faced and speechless, geto begins to elaborate.

“i admit that i came off pretty strong, but i figured i’d have to since you’d been avoiding me that whole week,” he laughs. “i think i did a pretty good job, though.”

“i…” you trail off, flicking through your memory of an entire language for a set of words to accurately describe how you’re feeling, or what you’re thinking, but eventually you settle for anything that manages to come out. “i am clueless. was clueless. i think my mom is going to call me again.”

“is she? does she have to?” without taking his eyes off of yours, geto leans forward, subtracting from some of the space left between the two of you. this close, you can almost smell his entire shower routine— his warm, boozy body wash, his bright, clean shampoo, his warm, musky cologne, the bite of aftershave, something creamy—

your thoughts are falling out of order with his face so close to yours. geto’s eyes fall to your lips, and yours fall to his, but you turn away before he can even think about closing the gap between them. your face feels like it’s on fire, your cheeks burning impossibly red, no doubt totally visible to the man before you. he doesn’t look away, though, instead bringing his gentle fingertips to your chin to bring your attention back to him. geto’s voice drops to a whisper, so soft, his words only for your ears.

“you don’t feel the same way?”

“i-i never— that’s— i never said, um— i do feel the, uh, the same way, so—“

“can i kiss you?” jesus christ, this sentence brings you to your metaphorical knees, breaking any and all of your resolve to not melt like ice cream in his hands. you nod, just once, and geto nods back in confirmation.

when his lips meet yours, it’s nothing like what you expected. what you expected was excitement, eagerness, too much too fast; when his lips meet yours, his kiss is so soft, so sure, so slow that you’re unsure if you’ll still be on earth after it ends. the moment geto pulls away, you’re scared that you’re going to sob, but you don’t. you don’t make a sound at all.

“okay,” geto whispers, his minty breath breezing over your lips. “see you monday.”

your eyes pop open, searching his face in confusion.

“what? why? where are you going?” you watch geto stand and stretch, trying to pay little mind to the sliver of exposed skin when his shirt rides up, before he starts making his way to the door.

“we talked this out, yeah? i know what i need to know, you know what you need to know. it’s late,” geto says coolly, slipping on his shoes and snatching his keys off of the small table by your front door. you scramble off of the couch and over by the door, flustered, standing a few feet away from him. geto grins as he stares down at you, halfway out the door. “things would’ve gotten out of hand.”

nanami kento

one thing nanami did get right was that it was a shame that you didn’t get that necklace. in the mirror, you take note that your neck looks too bare in your velvety black dress, but none of the necklaces in your collection meet the standards of what would look best decorating the empty space. however, you figure it doesn’t matter too much— instead of a necklace, you decide to pin in some dangly earrings, complementing the updo your hair is so meticulously done up in.

you spritz your wrists and neck with perfume before taking one last look at yourself in the mirror, now suddenly aware of how quickly 8:30 is approaching. your phone has yet to light up with a message at 8:27, which is slightly worrying… you took nanami as being one to appreciate punctuality to the point of always being early, but maybe he got caught up in something.

switching your closet light on, you tip-toe to reach a box at the top shelf containing one of the best gifts you’d ever bought yourself: a shiny black pair of louboutins. it’s rare that you get to wear them, but you figure that if you’re going to wear them anywhere, it’s out to wherever nanami plans on taking you. each heel slips on perfectly, neither too snug nor too loose, and a younger part of your brain thinks you feel like cinderella.

once you take a few practice steps in your heels, you’re good to go, slinging your purse over your shoulder and checking your phone again. 8:29 and nothing.

and then one minute later, someone knocks on the door.

the same smile from the jewelry store spreads across nanami’s face when you open the door, pearly white teeth showing, the left side of his mouth cocked up a bit further than the right, something you hadn’t noticed then but impossible to miss now. from behind his back he produces a beautiful bouquet of red roses, the kind wrapped in paper, not plastic, secured with a pink silk bow. his eyes, uncovered by his usual glasses, look you up and down in a way that feels honoring instead of exposing.

“i didn’t know you’d come up to my door,” you murmur shyly, entranced in the warmth of nanami’s expression. “i figured you’d text me when you got here… are those for me?”

“of course they are,” he says, his smile seeping into his voice before taking a step back so you can step forward, holding his hooked elbow out for you to take. “what man would make you walk out to his car alone? i certainly wouldn’t.”

“oh— shit, i have to grab my wallet first, nanami. i left it in the kitchen,” but before you can take another step further into your apartment, you swear that he glares daggers at you, almost as if to say ‘you’d better not go any further.’

“no need. why would you need it?” nanami muses almost smugly, gesturing again for you to take his arm. you say nothing back, too busy thanking whichever gods can hear you out there for whoever raised such a gentleman. instead, you lock the door and take nanami’s arm, your hand resting at the crook of his elbow.

“so… i know you said she may not like this, but think of this as a practice date for me,” nanami watches your expression falter when he says that, and if he had less resolve, he’d fall to his knees and apologize right there. however, it’s for the plot. “i haven’t been on a good date in years. if tonight goes well, i’ll know i’m ready to make my move. what do you think?”

despite the dull ache of dejection in your chest, you smile and nod. “i think that’s a good idea, nanami. it’s very important to be prepared, especially if you like her as much as you seem to.”

the short trip to his car is over before the two of you want it to be, but it ends with nanami opening your door for you and ushering you into the passenger seat like a true gentleman. you don’t think you’ve been treated this well by anybody cumulatively, and you haven’t even been on the actual date yet. it only takes nanami a few seconds to get to the driver’s side of the car, but once you’re inside, you can’t help but peek into the backseat. behind the driver’s seat on the floorboard is a small gift bag with the jewelry store’s logo on it. jealousy swarms in your chest, but before you can feel any worse, the driver’s side door opens and it’s time to go.

“you look beautiful, by the way.”

-

you and nanami spent three of the best hours of your life at one of the finest, most beautiful restaurants in tokyo. the food was amazing, the champagne was better, but the conversation was the best part of the entire date. you don’t think you’ve ever laughed so hard, or blushed so much, or felt so heard. it’s all courtesy of nanami, but there’s no doubt that the entire bottle and a half of champagne shared between the two of you helped a little. well, you had much more than him— but nanami still had to call someone to drive the two of you home.

before you know it, the two of you are back to standing by the front door of your apartment. the humidity and the alcohol have done a number on your updo and your makeup, and the left strap of your dress is slipping off of your shoulder, but nanami swears he’s never seen something more beautiful in his life. he’s not in much better shape— his collar is half-popped, his tie is loose, and his neatly combed hair has fallen forward, lying freely on his forehead. to anyone else, it may look as if your date went too well.

it was hard to remember to grab the small gift bag from his backseat, yet somehow he managed not only that, but hiding the bag behind his back all the way from the car to the door. you’re both fighting a laugh at nanami’s last joke as you unlock your door, loudly shushing him through your giggles for plausible deniability should your neighbors complain the next day.

“i—“ hiccup, “i think i’d count this as a success,” nanami says, swaying on his feet as you finally unlock your door. “would you?”

“nanami, this was, like, not only the best date i’ve ever been on,” giggle,” but probably the most fun i’ve ever had. like, ever!” okay, too loud. the both of you fall silent for several seconds, staring at each other wide eyed as you listen for any complaints, before devolving into laughter once again.

“soooo… would you want to do it again?” nanami tries to slip that into the conversation coolly, not wanting to disrupt your giggles. please say yes. please say yes please say yes please say yes—

“… what?” you say, wondering if he’s the one who drank so much instead of yourself. “i thought you just needed one practice date?”

“mmm… i was kind of… umm, practicing for you, with you,” he says, now more than ready to abandon ship based purely on your reaction. “‘s okay if it’s a no. we had a really, really great time ‘n i’m glad.”

“wait, what?” none of this is registering in your brain at all, staring up at nanami with wide, drunk, glassy eyes. “it’s me? i’m the girl?”

“… well, yes,” nanami says, his voice starting to become much softer, much more withdrawn. “is that not okay?”

if you were sober, you swear you’d be jumping for joy. instead, you tip-toe and throw your arms around nanami’s neck, trying not to squeal in his ear but failing miserably. his eyes widen at the sudden development in physical contact, but his hands instinctively move to your waist to make sure you don’t fall down.

choso kamo

okay, maybe you’re a little heavy handed with the booze. it wouldn’t be so bad if you had just measured how much tequila you were pouring into the blender, or if you had poured the frozen margarita mixture into smaller cups instead of two huge cups with straws, one for you and one for choso, but alas. the two of you lay stretched out on your stomachs over his bed, a playstation controller in your hands and another in his, as you both poorly attempt to play mortal kombat. neither of you are doing anything remotely close to purposeful as you press the buttons, but somehow choso keeps winning.

“okay, no fuckin’ way you’re not cheating!” you accuse, overflowing with giggles as you let the controller fall to the floor. choso sits up on his knees, slurping his margarita through his straw as he celebrates his fourth win in a row.

“sorry ma’am, ‘s a skill issue,” he teases between sips, watching as your jaw drops.

“you’ve been playin’ too many games with yuji, sir!”

“maybe you should get good, ma’am!”

“think ’m too drunk t’ play any more video games anyway,” you sigh, sitting up to grab your own drink. choso nods in agreement and stands to turn off the playstation, letting the tv switch back to the blank input screen.

it had been a long time since the two of you drank together, especially so much, which was reminiscent of your college days when you would steal liquor from your parent’s house just to drink with choso in the alley behind your dorm. this time around, you can see the way the alcohol makes him flush pink, starting at the tips of his ears all the way down his neck, dipping lower to his chest where your eyes can’t see.

“maybe we can watch a movie ‘n here?” choso asks, grabbing the remote to his tv from his nightstand. “i don’ think we can safely walk over yuji ‘n his friends.”

“might trip,” you mumble, moving up to the head of the bed to rest your back against choso’s headboard. “let’s watch something funny.”

“wait, i kinda wanna play a game,” choso interrupts, plopping himself down next to you at the head of his bed. he uses one of the two hair ties on his wrist to pull his hair into one ponytail at the back of his head to get it off of his neck— drinking makes him feel hot. if you weren’t so drunk, you’d realize that he’s being kind of shifty, almost as if he’s nervous. “yuji told me i should play it ‘cause i haven’t before.”

you whine, a pout forming on your face. “you just turned off the playstation.”

“no, no! not that kind of game. truth or dare,” he says excitedly, and there’s a little voice in your head saying No. no no no no no, that it may be a fun game to play in a group setting, or with someone you’re not secretly in love with, but unfortunately you can’t say no when he looks that excited. plus, another little voice in your head says Yes. yes yes yes yes yes, you can torture yourself by finding out information about who choso wants.

“mmmm… okay, fine. you know how to play?” big sip of your drink to cushion any blows this game might throw in your direction. crisscrossing your legs, you sit up straight, holding one of choso’s pillows in your lap for comfort so your cold cup doesn’t touch your bare legs.

“yes. kinda,” he says, mirroring your position on the bed. “i wanna go first. truth or dare, ma’am?”

“hmmm… dare, sir.” choso cheers quietly when you pick dare, and it makes you laugh. he takes a few moments to think, even aha!ing once or twice before shaking his head no before he lands on a dare. when he finally shares his dare for you, you almost choke on your drink.

“okay. i dare you to tell me who you like.”

“m-me? who i like?” you stammer, completely caught off guard by the new, sudden change in direction. there wasn’t a guarantee that he wouldn’t say something like this, but you never expected it— from him, at least. choso had never been interested in your love life, and it was a fairly new thing for him to share his.

“yes. and you can’t lie or skip it because yuji said that’s cheating.”

“i don’t… i don’t like anyone,” liar. choso’s not entirely convinced either, dramatically raising a skeptical eyebrow at your response. although your face was already dusted a light pink, your cheeks now glow bright red, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“was that a lie?” choso prods, dropping his head down to try and meet your eyes. “i think you just lied to me!”

“no! not a lie!” Liar. choso’s jaw drops, hanging slack in disbelief at the audacity you have to lie, and then lie about lying.

“i think we’re too drunk to play this game,” you say, placing your cup on the floor next to his bed. there’s nothing in it that you need, especially when you nearly fall off of the bed putting it on the floor. thankfully, one of choso’s big, rough hands grabs onto your leg before you can slip. that doesn’t help your case either.

“what? no, i’m not. i don’t think you are either. we’re drunk but not too drunk,” he corrects, and he’s right, and he knows you know he’s right. “if you tell me, i’ll tell you.”

“you tell me first and i’ll tell you.”

“what?! it was your dare!”

“if you don’t tell me first i won’t tell you! i’m… too embarrassed,” you murmur, hoping, praying, begging that he’ll drop this, but if anyone’s going to back down, it’s not going to be him. choso squints at you from where he sits across from you.

“why are you embarrassed? do i know him? do i not like him?”

“what? no. i mean, i guess you know him? i’d hope you like him. stop stalling! you have to tell me first or i won’t tell you.”

the both of you fall silent in a standoff, your stares the weapon of choice for this fight, and for several

moment’s you’re sure that choso will be the one to break. he’ll get tired of the quiet and this conversation will be left for another day, or will never be picked up again, but… part of you doesn’t want him to give this up. you want to know, but not before he knows.

“i like you,” choso declares, his chin held high and his eyes still participating in your weird duel. he’s definitely blushing, but other than that, he shows no sign of embarrassment, or shame, or fear… he’s also not laughing. when you don’t say anything, choso keeps talking. “i like you a lot. in, like, more than a friend way. that’s why i wanted to play truth or dare.”

“i, um… i thought that—“

“holdonholdonhe’stellingher—“ creaaaaaaaak. THUD. “—shhh!”

both of your faces immediately turn bright red, heads snapping towards the door that was previously left cracked two or three inches, which is now swung wide open. three sets of footsteps run down the hallway as you jump up from choso’s bed to slam the door shut, locking it afterwards just to be safe. you want to slam your head through the thin wooden door, but instead, you rest your burning forehead against its smooth surface.

“… was this his idea?” you ask, your voice wobbling from such an extreme level of embarrassment that you think you might cry. from behind you, you can hear a small ‘yes.’ “did he tell you to dare me to tell you who i like?” another small ‘yes.’

instead of saying anything else, you take a deep breath and force your weak, trembling legs to carry you back to choso’s bed. you stand at the side he’s sitting on, staring into his amber colored eyes which stare back into yours, both held wide and shifting nervously before placing a hand on each side of his face.

however, it’s choso that moves first, almost violently bringing his lips to yours, and it’s like a supernova explodes behind your eyes— thousands and thousands of colors, lights, sounds, feelings you’ve never felt before flood your senses, and within a second you’re melting into him. choso moves so that you’re standing between his legs, his hands moving in tandem to rest on your waist, trapping you where you stand so that you can’t leave. not that you’d want to.

eventually, you have to pull away from his lips to breathe, but your foreheads rest against each others, the both of you left eyes closed and panting.

from the living room, yuji yells, “did you do it?”

a/n: FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYY HERE COME IN HERE COME GET YALL JUICE

[lint-beetle4]

Hello, you can do, Ao Lie x Dragon lotus reader smut

Ao lie raising the reader to have children.

also if you wonder the reader is a Lotus dragon, basically a dragon with lotus flowers.

Petals in a Drought (Ao Lie X Lotus Dragon! Reader) Smut

I'm not really sure on how to write Ao Lie, but I do hope this is good! Thank you for being so patient with me!

Smut down below!

Ao Lie's cycles have been getting intense lately. His passion for you was obvious, how he always stayed close to you when he could, how he would always ensure your safety if a monster got too close, and how he would always be touching you in some way.

He wanted you to feel safe around him, just as he felt safe around you.

Yet, this was getting excessive, even for someone like him.

It was like being around you wasn't enough, like he needed to be closer, closer than skin could touch.

His dragon urges had been harder to control too. Animalistic instincts rising in him, screaming at him to protect you and shield you from prying eyes that were no where to be found.

It was worse with you being a dragon yourself, scales like lotus petals lining your body. You were his treasure, Ao Lie could admit that much. So precious to him, and such a treat to have. He was smitten, and his body knew that well.

He wasn't sure if your own cycles were matching his-- only communication could tell--but he only wanted you.

It was until the heat building inside of him grew unbearable that he pulled you aside, gripping your arms desperately while hiding his flushed face in your shoulder with a whimper.

"I can't take it anymore. I must have you. Please."

Well, who were you to deny such a cute man?

Ao Lie bite along your neck, deep impression lining your collarbone and lower jaw as he suckled onto your skin. Every part of you was marked, bruises decorating your petaled scales, Ao Lie's tongue a comforting pressure along each bite mark.

His teeth grazed your chest, teasing your nipples as he sucked on them, giving them their due attention. His hands fondled your breasts gently, giving a firm squeeze to them as he trailed lower to your stomach. Pressing small kisses to your body, Ao Lie laid more bites onto your hips, watching as your legs trembled before him with a smirk.

Marking your inner thighs, Ao Lie pressed a kiss to your legs, his face dangerously close to your throbbing pussy.

His eyes glanced up to you, filled with a foggy passion before you felt his tongue swirling around your clit, lightly sucking it. Your hips bucked at the sensation, your clit sensitive and erect.

Ao Lie sucked you gently, his tongue focusing solely on your throbbing clit as his fingers swept up some of your pussy juices, lining them against your hole before they dug into your pussy, pushing up at the sensitive, spongy skin within you.

You moaned, hips rocking against him, attacked by the duel sensation as you felt a rise inside of your stomach, a string threatening to snap in your core. Yet, before you could release, Ao Lie pulled away, fingers sliding out of you, licking his lips.

Ao Lie kissed your face, his tongue sliding through your lips as he lowered his pants, fully hard cock in his palms.

You whimpered, feeling his cock press into your pussy. Ao Lie laid a soft hand on your face as he pulled away, whispering soft comforts to you while he slowly pushed in.

"Shh, it's alright, my dear."

"Relax, the pain will go away, I promise."

"You're doing so well, darling."

Soon, you were stuffed with Ao Lie's cock, twitching inside of you as Ao Lie buried his face into your neck, peppering you with kisses as his breath stuttered, a groan hidden in his throat.

"You--you're so tight, haah--"

You hold Ao Lie close to you, your hips moving impatiently. Ao Lie chuckled, thrusting into you as he moaned into your embrace.

His pace became fast, erratic, and near uncontrollable as pleasure surrounded you both, warm and pulsing as your pussy was rammed into, faster and faster. You tightened against Ao Lie's cock as he suddenly grabbed your legs, pressing them against your chest he continued to pound you thoroughly in your mating press.

Ao Lie's dick thrust into you, pants escaping him while matching your wanton moans. You felt his hips stutter as he dug deep into you, his arms wrapping around you as he somehow continued to dig deeper and deeper into you with his throbbing cock.

"Ah--Ah, I'm going to--"

You whimper against him, tightening against him as you felt yourself about to release as well.

Ao Lie growled lowly into your ear, biting your neck as he thrust into you, ropes of cum filling you while you screamed out his name. The dragon horse dared not to pull out, a low groan as he whispered to you.

"My mate, my precious mate. Please, bear my children. Let us grow a family together."

And, who were you to deny such a man?

[mr-celestial-writings]

The Oldest Biological Child Pt. 2 [Headcanon/Drabble]

Part 2 of Outlaw! Reader, Baby! Reminder: Outlaw! Reader is written to be Transmasc/Female To Male.

If that isn't your cup of tea, then I hope I write something that is!

Part 1, for those who haven't read it.

================================================

It wasn't like you just had brothers. You had sisters too! You thought they would be your safe place, that you could go to them. You were wrong. You were oh, so wrong.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barbara Gordon:

You knew here from the very moment you stepped through the door. Back then she was Batgirl, and when she and Dick were together.

She was nice enough. She accepted your gender identity, but it feels like just like everybody else, you were just a bother to her.

When she was paralyzed because of The Joker, you hated yourself for feeling nothing. You didn't feel sorry, or sad, or angry.

She was never there, always busy with something or somebody else. Birthdays and other events lacked the Redhead.

You were somehow closer to her Dad, Jim acting like a grandfather to you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What happened to Barbara sucked, but at some point you just... disconnected from her, like you did the rest of the family.

You were both pleasant and polite to each other, but your relationship never went much further than that. Though, you can't say you were surpised.

You were used to not being a priority.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stephanie Brown:

You liked Steph. She was nice enough, and she brought a positive energy to the family that was needed. You couldn't believe that somebody like that would Date Tim of all people.

She was definitely more active in your life. You could recognize her more clearly than any of your brothers, outside of Jason. You two grew apart as you grew up.

You supported her as Robin, Batgirl, and finally Spoiler. And she supported your transition.

Out of all your sisters, she was certainly your best friend. Which wasn't saying much considering your relationship with the rest of your family.

She once caught you sneaking out for patrol and just told you to be careful and kick ass. Respect.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you became more and more invested into your life as an Outlaw, you had completely missed the introduction of your third sister: Cass.

You had felt bad, but she surprisingly took it well. After all, she didn't even know you or about you. She couldn't really fault you for not knowing her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassandra Cain:

You had already been used to living with strangers by the time Cass came around.

You two were polite, she taught you sign language. But that it was. You two weren't really there for each other.

The most you two communicated was via nods. You congratulated her on becoming Batgirl, and then forming her own identities though.

She figured out you were a vigilante pretty quickly. She left it alone though.

Like Tim, you hadn't felt the need to tell her you were trans. She was a stranger, and the information wasn't really relevant.

Despite her similar childhood to Damian's, she never once insulted or attacked you. Points for that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You said goodbye to Steph when you moved out. But that was it. You left your family behind.

They were just supposed to stay in your past. You knew you weren't important enough to stalk.

So, you moved on. You graduated highschool and became a full time outlaw.

================================================

a/n: dunno how long this series will go for, but hey, at least i'm writing.

masterlist here, for those who want it.

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

While I’d love to hear six hours of discussion, perhaps we can hear your top 10 reasons you like Ironwood? Don’t want you to lose your voice after all my fellow Dadmiral friendo

Look I stream for 6 hours straight some days but that’s beside the point lolz. Also sorry this took so long. Life has been a thing.

1. James feels…human. I know the point of characters in stories is to make them feel alive and to immerse you into the world I know. But stay with me there are just little details like James adjusting his tie and little laughs at R/WBY’s antics that just make him feel more real.

2. James is strong. And not just in the physical sense but the emotional one. Between him in volume 3 holding it together despite the world falling apart around him and him taking on all of Atlas and Mantles hatred and vitriol while trying to protect them is incredible. Everyone hates him despite him trying his best and it’s both incredible and heartbreaking to see.

3. James is compassionate. I am not even slightly referring to volume 8 that bullshit is not canon at all just no. After watching Yang with his own eyes break (who he thought) was an innocent students leg unprovoked after the match ended and his aura was down, he believed her when she said she saw him attack first. He assumed the best of her even when all evidence showed that she was being malicious. Or in volume 4 when Weiss accidentally summoned a Grimm that attacked someone, he stood up for her or after Ruby failed to stop Cinder in volume 3 (? Or 2 can’t remember for sure) and he told her she did well and she took action which is what huntresses do. He is strict but he shows kindness to people.

4. He’s kind of silly sometimes. He’s normally very strict so it makes his funny moments stand out more. Like when he laughs when the girls admit they stole an airship or when he grins at Winters comment about how he couldn’t pay her to smile for the cameras.

5. He’s not a good public speaker. Now I can hear you say “but wait, he speaks publically all the time and while yes he does, he also does the equivalent of error 404 when things don’t go exactly as he mentally prepared beforehand and we see this in volume 7.

When the girls don’t react at all to his announcement that they’re all huntresses now he just freezes because this man needs to preplan everything and he did not have a plan b prepared and panics and it’s so relatable I adore it so much.

6. He’s awkward. While similar to the last point, people can suck at public speaking and still be able to converse well with people in a smaller setting but sometimes James seems to even be a little awkward even in less formal moments.

7. In early volumes he was allowed to make mistakes and still be a good person. I like it when characters are allowed to make a mistake and still be seen as a good guy. People make mistakes and screw up but that doesn’t make said person evil. Sometimes we can’t fix something or stop a bad thing from happening or even make a decision that winds up causing more problems. But the intention of the decision is the important thing. James wanted to protect people in volumes 2 and 3 so he brought his army because he had a feeling Salem was up to something. Cinder used said army to cause even more chaos but at the time the narrative refused to demonize him for this and allowed people to understand what his intentions were. That’s way more compelling than the narrative twisting itself to try and somehow prove the mains are always correct and never make mistakes. Learning and growing make stories interesting.

8. James is willing to make the tough decisions. Time and time again we see James making really difficult calls to try and navigate a war that most people don’t even know they’re fighting. He makes the plans to transfer Ambers Aura to keep it from Cinder. He pulled his armies from the other kingdoms to try and maintain peace, he decided to focus on Amity instead of the wall to try and restore global communication, he decided to try and save who he could when he was put between a rock and a hard place. He made the tough calls and stuck by his decision and that is admirable.

9. James trusts people. After James’s talk with Glynda she took his advice to heart and was more open and honest with people. When Winter tells him something is going on at Haven, he takes her word for it. When Ruby and co lie to his face he trusts their word. He trusts Yang when she says she saw Mercury attack her first during the Vytal Festival. (Despite what the narrative tries to tell us) James gives people the benefit of the doubt and is willing to trust people.

10. James is an incredible fighter even without a typical offensive Aura. Pretty self explanatory but James is able to go toe to toe with some dangerous adversaries and hold his own despite not having a special “super power” like everyone else does. Or even a special weapon really he kicks ass with just a pair of guns and that is so badass of him lolz.

And a bonus more meta point because I want to talk about this so there. But one thing I loved about Ruby and James’s volume 7 fallout is that we can see exactly how and why each of them made the decision they did during that breakdown. On one had we have Ruby who is full of hope still and sees the best in the world. She lost her friends and is still dealing with the trauma of that and doesn’t want to ever lose anyone else again or let people suffer a loss like she did during the fall of Beacon. On the other we have James who is equally traumatized from Beacon but in a very different way. He did his best to fight back against Salem and it was in the end used against him and caused even more pain and suffering. He’s terrified of going toe to toe against Salem again and wants to protect what he knows he can until he knows they are able to take on Salem. It’s realistic and painful and neither side is really a perfect option. It’s a bad situation and we can see how the characters respond to it and it feels in character and real and I wish that we got to see that writing continue into volume 9.

Sorry again for how long this one took! As I said life’s been all over the place and chaotic and it still is but I got a burst of motivation so I decided to finally type this out.

[sobriety-circle]

The comments on this post make me so upset as a sober person because it proves that a lot of people who drink don't respect sober people.

The implication that I get from this is that all sober people need help, and that support groups are our only safe space. While a lot of people do reach out for help in a variety of different ways for different reasons, especially if recovering from addiction, there are plenty of people who don't need help, or have recovered enough to not need help. These people still need safe spaces. We should be able to access fun things safely without needing mental treatment. (Also there is a growing inaccessibility of queer centers in my area, and I'm guessing this isn't a lone situation.) (Maybe I read too much into the comment but my points still stand without the context.)

I love libraries. Great idea, libraries are a great space for everyone, but we need more than just libraries. We need places to eat, and play, and environments that stimulate things beyond what a library can do. I'm sure libraries also can help with resources for those who need, and we should make this information more public without stigma. Also SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY.

And that's your own choice to make! If you think I'm meeting people WITH alcohol, you're wrong. The difference is that people like you likely have an easily accessible space for that. Sober people have to try harder to find these spaces, especially as a queer person.

I'm sorry you feel attacked as a "bar enjoyer." You should not feel discomfort caused by other people for your own decisions. As sucky as that is, this goes both ways. Stop telling sober people to suck it up, or that they're missing out (real things I have been told). Sober people and even recovering addicts do not often have equivalent safe spaces as those who drink casually. If you don't want to hear us complain, help us build dry bars.

Hm. I wonder why it's stereotypical that sober people don't like going out. It's almost like some people don't feel comfortable being in non-sober spaces and feel attacked when we ask for a dry space to exist. I would love to go to a late night venue and get out more, but I can't do that without anxiety. Others can't do that without risk of relapse.

The sobriety community is a very diverse place. I've met right wing sober people. Even Trump himself doesn't drink (nor does Biden if you were wondering). So this leads to a huge need for not just sober spaces, but sober spaces for other minorities. "We need queer friendly sober spaces," isn't something that should be made fun of.

I won't be a person who insists that all people who drink need to get sober. All I'm asking for is respect and understanding. I don't agree with a drinking lifestyle for me, and you don't have to agree with the sober lifestyle for you. I am just frustrated that sober people raise some very basic points about how we have a hard time finding places, and we are met with underhanded backlash.

If you (or someone you know) is struggling with addiction and is looking for help, I support you. Recovery can be rough, but you're so strong, and life can be so much better in the end. The fight is worth it. Stay safe, speak up, and be strong 💜

[blues824]

Hi! May I request the housewardens with a Raven!like s/o from Teen Titans?

💜 She's the daughter of a human mother and demonic father

💜 She's an empath and able/can sense both pain and disease and can remove them, assimilating them to her own body and expunge them but at a cost of great physical pain. She can also read the emotions of others and control them, also granting her telepathic-like insight into their minds.

💜 Her weakness is strong emotions. She has the ability to feel other people's emotions. But if she comes into contact with an individual with strong emotions whether good or bad, it will overwhelm her and bring her pain.

💜 Her main power is the ability to channel her Soul Self, projecting her spirit outside of her body to scout, fight, or manipulate objects.

💜 She is quiet, troubled, brooding, grim, moody, seemingly emotionless, intelligent, studious and sarcastic. She can always come up with a smart remark.

Take your time with this ask, and don't rush to finish it :)

I apologize, but since I didn’t have any motivation I will be giving you three housewardens. Can’t believe I have over 700 requests-

Riddle Rosehearts

He is very intrigued since you were a demon-human hybrid. However, you used your powers for good rather than how your father originally intended, and that’s something that he looks up to. You don’t let your parentage define you, and he takes a page from your book in that aspect.

Honestly, Riddle overwhelmed you a lot because he was always angry and in pain because of his past and how he is scared to disappoint his mother. When you told him, he realized that if he wanted to be with you then he needed to change his ways. So guess who started going to therapy!!!

Riddle doesn’t like your sarcasm, but you were very down-to-earth, which he appreciated. You both were quite the pair, only told of in old romantic but tragic novels. This most definitely showed in how you both liked to write letters to each other; a rather formal way of communication, reserved for the two of you.

When he overblotted, you were torn. However, you used your soul-self to battle him. He didn’t even see the raven before being easily taken down by it. The last thing he remembers before being taken to the infirmary was you rushing over and holding his body close. Even when he attacked you, your love for him was still there.

Leona Kingscholar

He was wary of you because you were a very powerful demon, but you often used it for the good of others rather than just yourself. He respects the fact that you are trying your hardest to not be like your dad, since he tries not to suck up to his older brother’s expectations as well.

Unfortunately, his anger became an overwhelming source of emotion and energy for you, and you had to write a short note saying so when you saw that he was getting increasingly upset at you avoiding him. Once he was informed of this, he started taking measures to relieve his anger, like exercising more.

He loved how feisty you could sometimes be, especially when you were sarcastic. You both could go back and forth for hours because you both didn’t like losing battles. Instead of calling you ‘herbivore’, he probably called you ‘Poe’ after Edgar Allen Poe.

When he overblotted, you took quick action and used your Soul-Self powers. You used your actual body as a diversion so that you had the element of surprise, and it worked. As he saw the raven go back inside your body, he couldn’t help but feel proud of you for making such a quick decision without hesitation.

Azul Ashengrotto 

He was intimidated by you. You were a powerful half-demon who couldn’t be kept under a contract because that’s not how this works. It’s like how he can’t steal the ears of a beastman because it was biologically instilled within them.

Azul doesn’t tend to show too many emotions, but you can sense his fear and insecurities and it makes you a bit anxious. You tell him this, and he just feels exposed. However, he has been taking active steps to getting to a place where he can look in the mirror and feel good about himself.

This cecaelia is the type to like your sarcasm when it’s directed towards someone who is doing something stupid (Ace). When it’s directed towards him, he is low-key kind of offended. Like, weren’t you supposed to be on his side?? You didn’t have to call him out on his shady business deals…

Anyways, when he overblotted, your speed wasn’t affected by being underwater. Someone might have thought you were descended from a sea animal because you actually moved faster. You used your Soul-Self and managed to defeat him while causing a distraction with your actual body (think scarecrow in a field). Last thing he saw was you running over and making sure he didn’t hit his head as he fell.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 12 thoughts

didn’t watch an episode last night because i was sad. and by consulting the people, i knew that this episode would ALSO be sad. but now in my infinite wisdom, i realize: how better to distract yourself from your own sorrow than to watch some fictional characters writhe in their own grief? which brings us here.

“a headless corpse walks out of a hospital morgue” well that actually just sounds silly. i know it’s not gonna end up being silly, and i’m sure my heart will be on the floor, but you have to admit, it sounds silly.

author’s note: the episode about the dude with no head is now the second episode EVER to make me cry. and editing these notes is gonna SUCK SO BAD😭😭😭I WAS WRONG ABOUT DROWNING MY SORROWS IN FICTIONAL WOES. I HAVE NO INFINITE WISDOM. ONLY TEARS.

let us begin below. join me. hold me. comfort me.

ambulance time :3 we see a guy named leonard, who i presume will be the star of the episode given its title. he tells michele driving the vehicle that this guy having a heart attack is “up to his ass in alligators”, and idk what that means, but it doesn’t sound good

oh a needle. mmmm no no. NO. no. <- girl who cannot look at the screen

NO! no. crash. oh god, that’s my worst fear. EMS lady michele who made the mistake of looking behind her while driving is now covered in blood. i assume that we will see leonard's head soon.

(little did i know!!! little did i know. i have a fear even deeper than causing a car accident that decapitates someone)

ah, yes. the head is not attached to anything. michele, covered in blood, is leaving after leonard is dropped off in the morgue.

the guy in the morgue is trying to stream casual by chappell roan (obviously) but he hears some thumping in the distance. leonard has escaped! without his head!

oh god, he killed morgue guy. you see, i thought we were going to get an episode where the mystery was how the headless man got around and lived his daily life, not that the headless guy was also going to be a murderer. i thought we were gonna get scenes of his headless body using sign language to communicate and question how he’s gonna eat in a semi-comical fashion. but now. now he’s evil. sigh.

and leonard is naked. do they put you in the morgue naked??? i always assumed there’d be a little bit of dignity…

SCULLY TIME!!! i can feel all pain in my body evaporating. she is looking in the little morgue case he escaped from. there are a lot of bloody footprints. and mulder is here, too!

it’s funny how i sit down to watch the scully and mulder show and then when i see them on screen i think “oh boy, it’s scully and mulder time :D”

good news! the morgue guy who was certainly streaming chappell is NOT actually dead. he was just knocked out. and had all his clothes taken, which is unfortunate.

scully is gagged at the idea mulder thinks a headless body escaped from the morgue, and me too girl, but i feel you should be used to it by now. we probably both should be, actually. 

she thinks it’s some sort of coverup for body snatching! oh, compelling. even mulder seems to nod along. god, wouldn’t it be funny if they just had a normal case once? please. i beg.

they’re looking at security camera footage from the night it all went down, and see the clothes that were stolen from morgue guy being worn by someone. scully thinks maybe the thief got scared and dipped, which led to this wonderful exchange: “where could he hide an adult body where it wouldn’t be found?” “i’ll show you” <- YEAHHHH I LOVE WHEN SHE SAYS WEIRD AND UNSETTLING STUFF

time to check the medical waste. are you telling me surgical byproduct gets turned into roads??? i don’t think i can handle that information, so i’m going to simply not fact check it. but she would never lie to me.

mulder looks freaked tf out as he hands the flashlight to her to inspect the waste LMAOOO

“mulder i think i’m gonna need your help, your arms are longer” (cut to visible distress on his face) LMAOOOOO

he’s groaning as they rummage through bags of human stuff, but they find leonard’s head!! noticeably, NOT the rest of him

they are going to split up, and mulder will go to leonard’s house while scully looks at his head. and she makes a pointed correction that he is no longer living. damn. 

his head weighs 10.9 pounds! the head looks a little… wow, i was gonna say it looked fuzzy, but now we get a closeup and it’s actually very convincing. no rigor mortis or clouded eyes, which is inconsistent with the time of death. and she’s gonna go to brain town when he opens his eyes!!

well, bodies do that sometimes. and he’s opening his mouth. and closing it. so uh. what’s that all about?

something or someone is running as mulder enters leonard’s house. he finds a bathtub full of blood, which is not promising. and blood out the window. 

bro stuck his fingers in the blood and sniffed it….. OH! it’s not blood. it’s iodine. okay. that’s less freaky. 

scully says it seems the head has been effected by radiation that is preventing any sort of scanning, and also that she hasn’t cut into the head yet, even though she knows it’s just extra energy stored in the cells that made him blink, but still! aww mulder be NICE TO HER!

“maybe he was home” "leonard betts." “yeah” “without his head.” “yeah :)” LMAO

OMG his headless ass was IN the iodine!!!

WAIT.... HE HAS A NEW HEAD??????

wait… he was a really good EMT… and his head somehow grew back… is he one of those aliens that can heal people???

(author's note: it was a really good guess on my part, but i think he was some sort of new freak not previously established in canon)

he could diagnose illness very well… but he kept his distance from his coworkers. hmmmm. and he never got sick. hmmmm. or injured. HMMMM. michele is suspicious.

they’re gonna mummify his head. sort of. and mulder is smiling at scully over his own stupid joke, and i want to punch his stupid face (affectionate).

man. i do not care for this slicing of heads process. 

oh no!! leonard was like, entirely made of cancer. was he absorbing the cancer of his patients… is that a thing you can do….?

he should have died a looooong time ago. or maybe the process of slicing distorted the findings?

michele is pulling into the hospital as she deals with another case, but she hears someone say “up to your ass in alligators” over the radio… and she recognizes leonard’s voice! he’s making another correct ID on what is wrong with a patient!!!!!!!

the agents are off to one of the professors at a maryland university that mulder keeps on call at all times, who is going to look at the head slice. oh…. this guy does aura photography. okay, so not super promising.

she’s like yeah yeah yeah i know about eastern medicine but WHAT does it have to do with this. i respect her knowledge and her focus.

it looks like the aura photography captured some shoulders? that i guess mulder thinks proves leonard is still alive somehow?

“are we happy with the results?” <- something about the way he said this made them sound so married. i'd be happy to live in that brief moment forever.

scully looks pissed off into another dimension at this whole process LMAO

mulder wants to know if there is a good kind of cancer that is actually regeneration…. and the iodine helps regeneration! which has been used in labs for creatures whose limbs regrow, i guess 

“there isn’t a creature on earth that can regrow its head” “worms. you cut a worm in half, you get two” <- and that’s why you’re the FBI’s most unwanted, because you advocate for worm murder 😭😭

“mulder, they’re worms” <- LMAOOOOOOOOO STOP i saw that line out of context once 

scully gets a phone call! and it turns out leonard had an alter ego named albert- whose fingerprints match his? but albert has a living relative. visit time?

yes, it is visit time. oh! the picture his mom has on the table is the same as the picture we saw earlier of leonard when he was featured in the newspaper!

they try to tell his mom that “her son” died recently, but she says he died 6 years ago!! well, that is confusing.

michele is also on the case, looking for whoever it was who she heard on the radio earlier using that distinct phrase and accurately diagnosing people. the others pointing him out to her refer to him as “the new guy”.

and it is leonard! michele is chasing him…. he hugs her and reassures her that it’s okay. at first it's touching, and i realize too late that he is going to kill her, which he does while apologizing. then he lays her down???? but he gets caught!!

he is running and running…. but he gets tackled by the cops and handcuffed. with a very conspicuous head bruise.

OH MY GOD he PULLED HIS THUMB OUT OF THE HANDCUFF BLEUGHHHHHHHHH all the cops return to is some blood and a finger 😭😭😭

no no bad…. body horror… bad…. not for junis, who are weak and frail… 

michele was given a lethal dose of something that occurs naturally, so it usually misses detection. and leonard was ID’d as the attacker!!! oh i just know everyone at that hospital is SO confused

mulder and scully are fighting over evolutionary theories…. while holding umbrellas in the snow… sigh. so beautiful.

GAG! the trunk of leonard's car is filled with cancerous tumors. that scully can name as she sees them. a massive flex of her knowledge.

OH. maybe he eats cancer. well. this is a bold theory, mulder, and what a lovely time for you to propose it, as i am just thinking of how lovely they look in the snow, and how they should go ice skating and other such winter activities. sure. the guy eats tumors.

and the car leonard was driving traces back to the mom!!! so they go to her place with a warrant. scully confronts her, saying they know she’s lying about her son being dead, and he killed someone, so lying to protect him isn’t gonna get her anywhere except JAIL.

mulder finds iodine while she recounts a tale of her son being beaten up as a kid. and she says god means for leonard to stay even if people don’t understand. crazy thing to say about a guy who just killed someone. 

leonard is at a bar watching someone smoke and looking at him hungrily. while his baby thumb pulsates and regrows. NASTY! nasty. 

he’s getting up after the cigarette dude and following him outside like he’s hunting some prey. he says that “you’ve got something i need” and whips out a tiny knife. uh oh.

back at mom’s house, they find a storage locker receipt. off to track it down.

oh. leonard was straight up eating that dude inside the storage locker. see, i don’t care for that. and also he is screaming while this happens and also his body is pulsating and oh my god. OH MY GOD HE JUST GREW A NEW HEAD???? out of his mouth. whyyyyyy

at the storage unit, the agents find blood flowing from beneath the door, and then the dead cigarette guy. but leonard comes out in a car at them!

i like how mulder grabbed scully to keep her safe... it was very nice. 

leonard is speeding off. and they shoot at him, which causes the car to go up in flames. damn. good shots, those two.

so the cigarette guy had his lung removed, but now leonard seems to be burnt to a crisp. BUT! when they dig up the guy under the pseudonym who had allegedly died 6 years ago, he looks also very dead!!

so he just keeps dying and coming back? i ask myself.

no! mulder thinks that the car crashes- both times- were decoys, and that “leonard” is still at large. scully does not seem pleased by this. 

and back at his mom’s house, she’s washing him in iodine, saying they “found your friend”. she says the FBI aren’t going to leave him alone…. you know what you have to do…. WHAT TF DOES THAT MEAN???

the agents are watching her house. but then an ambulance rolls up, saying that an old woman has had massive blood loss. did he eat his mom?? how would anyone know?? is this a trap???

scully finds his mom, who has a surgical cut…. and they’re taking her to the hospital… scully is helping her out…. she is so kind

but as they take leonard's mom out, scully notices IODINE ON HER HEAD! is he waiting on top of the ambulance? she tells mulder to get over here RIGHT NOW. 

and leonard grabs her!!!! and says she has something he needs. NO!!!!! no that means…… no. 

she’s beating the hell out of him though which is a major slay. she defibrillates him. queen.

it seems he really died. for now.

mulder’s telling her she should be proud, but she just wants to go home. that's what she says: "i want to go home". oh my goooooooood. oh my gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

wait it’s still going. she’s coughing. NO, SHE’S COUGHING BLOOD?????!

no it’s her nose. oh my god. the end.

FUCK YOU ALL I HATE EVERYTHING (punches wall) (punches table) (punches everything in an arm’s reach) (keeps punching until i collapse into a ball of sobs)

well. for most of this, distracting myself with fictional character’s problems worked. but now i’m just sad about my own life AND scully’s.

okay. i won’t lie. you want me to tell the truth? fine. i’ll tell you. i’d never lie to you...

i knew about the scully cancer arc. 

there. i said it. i know, i know, i too wanted everything to come as a surprise. but in all honesty, i’m glad i knew about it, because if i didn’t i’d probs be straight up ugly crying right now. 

yes, i saw it in a gif set a while ago- not this part, but from a later episode- and i find myself still deeply saddened despite knowing it was going to happen. i think it’s just so awful that cancer is a thing that happens, and even knowing that scully isn’t real doesn’t it make it less of a reality for other people, and that breaks my heart. of course i want my fave fictional girl to be okay- and this was foreshadowed after the abduction arc anyway- but cancer…. god, it’s just horrific. i think we all know someone who has it and have had to see what they endure. and it’s so genuinely and horrifically fucked up. luckily i can look at this leonard guy and be like damn, wouldn’t it be fucked up if a guy grew a new head? and i can rest knowing that it shall never happen to anybody alive, but this? like. you just don’t know. it could happen to anyone. 

and that really scares me, i think. more than anything else. so at least we learned about my deep set fear together? glad we had that bonding experience.

gooood. i’m gonna cry. okay yes, check it write it down- the tears are in my eyeballs. you can’t see it, but it is happening. yes, and now they are leaving my eyeballs and going down my cheeks. okay so. that’s fine i guess.

fuck me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this episode was fine, other than that, i guess? i mean i laughed a bit but then i laughn’t. the laughter was cancelled. his face when he was digging around in the body part jumble was really funny, i love when he is squeamish. and i liked him laughing at his own joke and how beautiful they looked in the snow. the idea of this as a monster was kinda interesting and very disturbing in practicality- body horror is always gonna get me- but leonard himself wasn't super compelling. you can't really be that good of a healthcare worker if you're in it just to eat people. his mom was more interesting to me, but also she was annoying because how tf are you gonna sit there and say your baby boy eats people because he is so special?

scully, why do they do this to you……….. i need to save you from chris carter myself……. 

s4 loyalists: you scare me, because how can you endure this willingly? bro, i love angst too... but this is just straight up masochism 😭

[saigawrites]

My dear gelatin orb pet,

Seelie! Genshin x Platonic! Gn! Reader

Inazuma edition | part 1 part 3

Tags : crack, fluff, scenarios, headcanons

Warninigs : mentions of stalking, animal attack

Summary : you took home a strange creature that looked nothing like anything in your world. So you somehow try to live and be friends with the peculiar pet of yours.

A strange flying orb is now basking in your presence, observing you attentively. Uneasiness filled your entire being as you were stared down at, so you attempted to break the suffocating atmosphere by talking to the orbit. Minutes pass, and there is no reaction whatsoever, until the little thing flies off somewhere, only to return with a torn off paper sheet and a pencil in their tiny nubs.

Heizou ♥︎

"Hey~! I am Heizou, the great detective of Inazuma! It sure was a dream of mine to one day meet someone as odd as you! I hope we can get along with each other, even with our different physical traits. I was wondering, could I please make a psychological study with you? I want to know if there's any more oddities about you, especially your mind!"

Okay, why is this period blood blob trying to attempt psychological experiments with you now? You just met, and he's already looking through your soul 🧐.

You might suck at geography but you never heard anything about the so called 'Inazuma'. Wait, so he's an alien?

That theory have already explained why he was so interested in your psychology, and honestly, you were kind of scared of him after the realization.

But it was still hard to feel threatened by an dark red floating circle with a little bouncing antenna. Maybe he used that to communicate with his species?

You weren't familiar with the behavior of different creatures from another planets, but you discovered that these one seemed to be extra clingy.

He floats after you everywhere, always watching with the most attentive gaze, looking out for any type of quirks you might have. You became all the more aware of him, secretly staring at him with your peripheral vision so that he couldn't try anything funny🤨.

He would startle you a lot, annoying you and scaring you on purpose. He LOVES your reactions, whether it would be you losing your temper and tossing him around like a basketball, or you screaming at the top of your lungs when you feel something slimy wiggle under your shirt.

You're lucky that he doesn't do that all the time. Surprisingly, the cherry colored orb has his own business to do, which is just as strange as his appearance. He likes to go out, watch and stalk random people on the street. You found out when you caught him red-handed in the act, hiding behind a bush and looking at all the people passing by.

You tried to scold him, tell him that it's dangerous to go around for him like that, but to no avail, he would always nod in confirmation and then do the same thing on the next day.

So you decided to find him a hobby, something that would distract him long enough from harassing strangers on the streets. And that is, television. News channels in particular.

It was completely accidental when you found out about his interest. You were extra bored, and decided to finally watch the TV in like a decade. Soon you found your crimson red companion levitating in the hall, glancing at the TV and back to you a few times before flying to your side and nuzzling in your lap, making himself comfortable in your warm hoodie. Petting his tiny body, you both took in the situations happening all around the world.

Arataki Itto ♡

"HEY THERE!!! IM THE FAMOUS ARATAKI ITTO!! THE LEDER OF THE ARATAKI GANG!!! ITS NICE TO MEET YOU!!! WHATS YOUR NAME? LETS BE FRIENDS!! YOU LOOK SO COOL!!!! DO YOU WANT TO JOIN MY GANG?"

Woah, that's one... energetic light bulb. Bouncing on your office table cheerily while his long vertical horns wobble a bit, he squeaks excitedly as if he just found out he won a lottery. Well, he kinda did though, if you're the one to take care of him.

At least that's what he thinks, as your demonstration of desiring to bathe him from all the dirt and dust he somehow gathered gave him all the right signals.

Even if he splashed and spilled all the water onto you, and wiggled and squeaked under the turned on faucet like an over-energized parrot, still, you would rub his soapy circular body with care, patting him with the softest towel of yours that he was sure you were the fittest blob-parent of all.

Did I mention parrots? He is one. An even more chaotic one. You have to hold him with your most strong grasp from him speeding across your house like a flash, bouncing off walls, ceiling and the floor like a deflated balloon. You always have to scold him like a concerned parent about how his form is not exactly unbreakable, and he still needs to be careful with surroundings.

And that escalated into him finding your bed as the best trampoline he can access. You want to stop him and tell him that he's going to break the carcass if he continues, but you just can't resist the sight of a palm sized jelly ball jumping on your bed gleefully, ridiculously rotating in the air as he lets happy sounds escape his nonexistent vocal cords.

Sometimes you would curse the universe for making your circle companion this cute, because he sure can cause a lot of trouble. Almost getting mauled by the neighbors dog because he wanted to pet it two days ago and almost breaking all of your glass dishes because he wanted to help you make the table yesterday. Oh boy, I'm sure excited for what's in store for the future😀.

Though, it was what you should've expected from a supposed gang leader. He even invited you to be a member of this band of his, remember?

You do agree now with all those shoujo mangas where the gangsta would actually be a softie inside, because your glowing orange ball friend sure is, no matter how destructive he acts.

Yae miko ♥︎

"My, my... such a interesting creature you are! It is sure a blessing for me to be in your presence, another amusing humanoid~. I am the Guuji of the Grand Narukami shrine, Yae Miko. I am also the owner of the Yae publishing house. As a grandee of the kitsune clan, it is a pleasure of mine to be familiar with such a high being like you. I am in your care from now on, my dear~"

WHAT IS THIS LIGHT PINK DOWNTURNED FOX EARS GAS FILLED BALLOON ON🗣🙌💯🔥🔥

On all seriousness though, you tried your hardest to understand atleast half of what she wrote, but so far what you seemed to catch is that she's nowhere near an earth creature. Oh and her name is Yae Miko.

Confusedly glancing at her then at her message, your nerve cells steamed as they tried to figure out what type of emotions you should be feeling in this case. The guuji seemed to be quite entertained by your puzzled face and somewhat judging side eye.

Her actions make you no less confused, as you question why would she harshly tug on your clothes at the most randomest times of the day. Out of nowhere, the pink squishy orb would just sail in the air over to you, and then pinch a spot on your clothed body and pull it with an incomprehensible strength.

Which leads you to chasing her, speeding up after her oddly fast self. With groans and screams you would finally catch up to her and squeeze her annoying ass to smitherins☠.

If you don't react to her antics, she'll keep being even more of an ass and pinch on your skin, hard. So far atleast half of your body now itches and pulsates because of your flying jelly companion.

Other than annoying you, the cherry blossom blob with ears likes to do research. Literally on anything. It ranges from politics, history, culture to bitcoin, nfts and all of the other shady stuff. She doesn't take half of the happening seriously, finding the stupidity of your kind ridiculous.

Oh, and she is going to shove it in your face. Always giggling when you two would watch an educational video on some topic, as if making fun of you. When she would write her opinion on your communication notebook she would always leave a snide remark like "the absurd that your kind ensues never ceases to humour me" or some shit.

She really just makes fun of your whole existence as if she's superior in any way. You do your best to hold yourself and not slap her into the oblivion. Oh, but she knows you would never do that. She knows.

Kokomi ♡

“I, Sangonomiya Kokomi, want to greatly express my gratitude towards your actions, human-like creature with a pure soul. Your kindness will always be remembered and appreciated in my heart. Now, as you read this, I shall, as the grand seigneur of Watatsumi affairs, be taken care of by you, as you are in capability to do so. I am one of the descendants of the Sangonomiya clan, and my full form being taken away from me is a major cause of danger for me. I hope you understand my demands, and I hope you will comply with them.”

A lot of confusing words and hard to spell names didn’t stop you from looking at her with puppy eyes and an ‘aww’ escaping your lips. Even though her tone might sounded a bit bossy near the end, your inner mother instincts still kicked in and your heart swore to protect the light globule that looked at you with anticipation.

Her colour pallet reminded you of aqua monsters, something along the lines of mermaids, sirens, and the similar. And you kinda guessed it, since the way your pink and ocean blue pearl like friend gravitated towards water was as if a magnetic pull was in between them.

The funniest thing is that at the first few days she didn’t even know you had water in your house. Modern furniture confused her senses and for a while she thought your biology didn’t require water.

Until one day you came particularly tired home, and the only thing in your mind was the thought of running a warm calming bath with the aroma of your sweet candles. Not noticing your dwarf merblob levitating right after you and watching you turn on the bath faucet, made you jump in your place when she plopped herself in the filling water.

You were about to groan and ask her to get out, up until your gaze fell on the itty-bitty joyous expression that she demonstrated while floating in the lukewarm liquid. With a snort, a small smile followed along with a defeated look. Letting the spheroid bathe instead of you, you contemplated about her otherworldliness.

It all escalated into a degree where she would spend almost all of her time in your bathroom, swimming in your bathtub hours on end. On your knees, with pleas and begging, you would query her to get out of the pear shaped tank, but to no avail, the deep sea creature would just ignore your whines and continue flowing around in the water.

“Komi please, I haven’t bathed in a decade.”

“Splash. Blub blub blub.”

And there she goes again, making bubbles and blowing them at your face as a response. Even so, you still let the marine pearl have her way, as she’s way too adorable to be mad at.

Kazuha ♥︎

“Come driving rain or winds that churn, I shall return, by blade alone, armed, if barefoot, to my home... I am Kaedehara Kazuha, a wanderer who roams the land. Fate alone has destined us to meet, thus it is a great gift for us to be able to communicate, distinctive individual. May I put a question to your origins, your story, and your name?”

What is he, a poet of some sorts? Such a distinguished gentleman, saying such extravagant things, but looking so ridiculous it could kill a person.

Guessing was probably your only best talent, as this japanese flag jello was immaculately successful at using all of the paper and stationary that he could find in your house to make his pieces of art.

Or the “haikus” as he calls them. Paper scrolls all over any hard surface, fully scribbled over with elegant handwriting. You wonder how the heck can a round strawberry marshmallow with nibs instead of hands write so much and also write prettier than you could ever manage.

Reading through those is one embarrassing of a trip as more than 70% of the writings are about you. The other 30% are about the environment, the furniture, the nature, the textures and sometimes about his homeland as you assumed.

And no you definitely didn’t bawl your eyes out while reading those and no you certainly didn’t feel sorry for the tiny little guy and no you for sure didn’t hug him in the most gentlest way and promise him that you’ll somehow get him back, no, beyond any doubt that didn’t happen.

On another note, this guy was unquestionably the cause of your literature grades significantly improving. Both you and your teacher are raising a brow at how good you instantaneously became at writing essays and other in the sorts. You even caught yourself in the act of speaking flowery, as if your 18th century self out of the blue found themselves in the modern world.

And that’s all thanks to Kazuha, and his litres of poetry inside your house. What’s outside your house though, is his music. Yea, turns out your spherical friend is talented in tunes too.

On one particular morning when you two were in a public garden, choosing an outlying area to have your picnic in, you came across a eerily wholesome phenomenon.

Holding a tree leaf in his itty-bitty arms, he seemed to be performing a tune with the help of the frond. You stared at your pal in awe, mouth wide open as a beautiful melody rang through your ears.

When your homeboy finished his little concert you couldn’t help but clap gleefully and throw wows at his excellent performance. Just how lucky were you to befriend such a talented jelly orb.

ARGGFDDDDGJSFICGGV IM SORRY FOR BEOMG SOOOO SLOW😭😵😰😓 I’m currently in a middle of a whole makeover of my house so it’s kinda unmotivating for me to do literally anything but no worries, your homegirl will always find a way to deliver🔥🔥🔥🔥

[anonymous-dentist]

fyi the monkey emoji thing about bbh's chat is fabricated from twitter and his mods have talked about it not being real. no one is doing that and if you talk to any of his fans at all, no one can actually corroborate having seen it. his chat is shit at times and rude, but it isn't saying slurs or racist emoji spamming. i honestly expected better from you as a popular figure in the community, i'm just disappointed you disliking a streamer is blinding your critical thinking about how falsified racism allegations obfuscates criticism of actual racism in the fandom.

Idk king I'm kinda more inclined to believe Literal Actual 6+ Months of Brazilian People Talking About This And Complaining About Feeling Unsafe In BBH's Chat than a bunch of Bad's mods and fans.

There's gonna be some bias there, man, you gotta understand that, right? Of course the mods aren't going to come out and say "Oh, yeah, we allow racist shit in our chat", and of course fans aren't gonna come out and say "Oh yeah we saw that definitely" considering overwhelming numbers of Bad's fans that I have personally seen have gone around demanding Pepito speak English and that everybody Bad talks to should speak English so he can understand and saying, quote, "Bad isn't racist! He lets Bagi speak Portuguese all the time!" and harassing Latin American and Brazilian accounts for MONTHS since the elections in July/August.

Does Bad get a ton of unwarranted hate? Sure, and it sucks. But the first step to acknowledging fandom racism is recognizing it within your own community and listening to the victims of said racism. Sure, this could all be a bunch of bullshit, but it's very very important to listen to actual victims rather than the people in your own echo chamber.

And I'm not saying this because I think Bad's a terrible person (which I don't think he is, btw, I think he's just a dumb privileged white guy), I'm saying this because there is legitimately six plus months of these claims being put forward by hundreds of Brazilian BadBoyHalo viewers who legitimately feel unsafe in his chat and watching him in general because of how his fans have a history of acting both in chat and on Twitter. This isn't a "All Bad Fans Are Xenophobic And So Is He" situation, it's a "Some People Are Acting Like Pieces Of Shit And Nobody Is Holding Them Accountable Except For The People They're Being Pieces Of Shit To" situation. There is a general lack of accountability among Bad's fans, especially when it comes to xenophobia and harassment, that fans from all over the world have noted in the past few weeks, and nobody is listening to these non-American fans at all. Nobody's listening to the French complaining about Bad's microaggressions towards Etoiles and Baghera, nobody's listening to Hispanic fans complaining about the fandom's microaggressions towards Pepito and Roier, and absolutely nobody listens to Brazilian fans complaining about the fandom's long history of actual, genuine aggressions towards Brazilian content creators and fans alike. Instead, the fandom attacks these people and acts like genuine goddamn assholes instead of taking any sort of accountability for their actions, perpetuating a nasty cycle that nobody will take seriously except for the people being attacked; just ask any Brazilian fan, they've experienced so much bullshit at the hands of Bad's fandom by now that they're genuinely hesitant to watch Bad's streams, and it's such a fucking shame that they can't enjoy something they actually love because of idiots.

Maybe I'm an idiot for believing in what you're calling fabrications, but believing potential victims of xenophobia over potential perpetuators of xenophobia saying it isn't real kinda just feels like the right thing to do, yk?

[betterbemeta]

I feel like some things in the Jurassic World movies are actually a step backward in the science-fiction zone from Jurassic Park III. I think that was the one where it was revealed that the raptors had a 'language' and complex communication that implied not just 'intelligence' but 'sapience'-- and I understand that some people felt this jumped the shark a little.

(yes I know its a dream sequence, SHUT UP, they went there,)

But I remember seeing it when I was little and it made perfect sense to follow the original beats of how the raptors were scary in previous movies because they could interact with human environments like doors. They could use deception, 'tactics' and could not easily be contained.

If you're implying that these are beings that can reason, and further acting as if this reasoning ability is more threatening than the reasoning ability of a chimpanzee or something, then you're not afraid of 'what' is hunting you, but 'who.'

And that they could have reasons beyond being hungry bloodthirsty animals to be aggressive toward you.

That you have imprisoned 'people' and not 'animals' or even 'beneath animals' (creatures that have no natural existence, creations, toys, etc.)

But there's something disappointing to me about the stuff with Blue and Chris Pratt and all of that. It feels more like the fantasy of an animal tamer at a circus who has mastery of dangerous creatures (something that most modern circuses have cut) than it feels like a relationship with an intelligent creature capable of complex communication.

(Tell me how this is different from the image of a 'lion tamer' with a chair between him and his 'beasts?')

It doesn't even feel like the level of communication that you should be having with your dog, or cat. But the raptors of course obey Chris Pratt's fantasy expertise and fantasy rules surrounding their social behaviors because the point is to depict Chris's character as skillful. 'The right way to approach raptors' is whatever the writers want it to be, unlike real dogs, cats, horses, bears, big cats, etc.

In reality, there are a lot of failed 'animal whisperers' out there, hucksters that fake being an animal behaviorist to impose fantasy-like rules on animals while abusing them, and dominance-based trainers who get sued for animal abuse if they aren't attacked by the animals first.

The Jurassic World movies seem to mitigate this idea with that the raptors are not natural creatures (but living 'in the wild' seems to be a conclusion for at least one of them?) and that they vary in intelligence level, with Blue being the most intelligent. My issue with this is that complex communication required for coordination also requires multiple parties that understand it. Why aren't the raptors basically having constant misunderstandings between their differing mentalities, or misunderstanding their handler who doesn't seem to vary his approach between them?

Basically my point is. The place Jurassic Park was going, it was fine. You made Frankenstein's Monsters, classic sci-fi dilemma. It kind of sucks that they downgraded Dinosaur Frankensteins into... the emotional replacement for circus animals in the modern day when we know dancing bears and elephants aren't ethical. However 'cool' they are on their own, that type of creature in a narrative is there to demonstrate the bravery of their 'tamer' and any 'trust' the animal has with that tamer is just the same. It's not about any creature actually making its own decisions, let alone a highly intelligent one.

It doesn't really matter that Jurassic World movies try to have it both ways, with some lip service to 'respecting' the raptors, and sometimes other dinosaurs, showing the antagonists being 'disrespectful' by contrast. If we continued the themes from JPIII, the type of 'respect' that is supposedly the 'good' position, is not the kind of respect you'd want to give to a person.

[kasmusser]

Can you rant about booktok?

Sure thing. There's multiple angles to attack booktok from, so this might read scatter brained.

First: Booktok & Porn

To begin this part of my opinion, let's just say it. No one who cannot say the word cock should be writing porn. They especially shouldn't be writing hard bdsm with dub/noncon elements when they can't call it porn or smut & instead just call it spice or spicy. It physically pains me to see the stupid ass emoji substitutions for basic words like pussy or cock. There is also just general fucking up of BDSM topics & the assumption that all women are sensually submissive, which are both complicated topics that should probably have an essay written about instead of a Tumblr post.

Part 2: Bad for Authors

Social media has in general been ruining the part of being a hermit author where you get to be a hermit but with booktok it is especially bad. Authors are expected to be their own marketing team & do their own promotion the entire time. With it being popularized through ticktok its not even one of the places where you can pretend to be semi-anonymous by just not posting your face like Twitter. Bad.

Bad for Readers

Booktok is hyperconsumerist. Even in what I'm well aware is already a collectionist community. I know booktok is not the cause of the issues I'm complaining about, but it just shows it in a fairly stark way. Haul culture should be shot in a ditch. It’s also where I encounter most of the "I can't read anything without sex" type. The "adult means sex" type are ever present and about as old as book communities, and they do have their presence.

Thunderdome

As with all internet well all just know too much about each other. Now I'm not an "author and audience should be completely separate type," but I am well aware we are far far too close together right now. Authors make smug clap backs at 3 star good read reviews. Writing is done with the intention of balancing the least media litterat audience there has even been.

Conclusion: shit sucks

[jewish-vents]

i feel kind of lost.

for context, id say im jewish adjacent, as i have two jewish grandparents but the traditions and beliefs were not carried down to my parents. that said i was raised secular but im knowledgeable about the torah and general jewish beliefs and holidays, in addition to basic history and modern day antisemitism. about two years ago i became much more interested in my ancestry, learning about when my great-grandma came over from ukraine, and how her dad opened a jewish boys’ school in nyc. about my mother’s side, how she’d use yiddish phrases while i was growing up because she learned them from her mom and grandma. how they lost touch with judaism because they hid in the middle of nowhere west virginia after escaping germany.

i started considering conversion, bc although i do feel a connection, i would not be comfortable engaging in jewish life and culture without a formal conversion. I’ve expressed this desire to a couple friends who joked about it a little but were generally supportive. my best friend is jewish and she has brought me in on a few holiday celebrations, too.

when oct 7th came, i had already been keenly aware of rising antisemitism and was always vocal about it in my social circles. but then it felt like the world fully turned upside down. all of my friends, for the most part, became vocally anti-israel and started spreading harmful messages, propaganda, or general disdain for israelis. i cannot imagine what it was and still is like for people born and raised jewish, who have lost countless friends to hatred and ignorance.

i want to start my conversion so bad but im not even sure where to start, and everything just feels so bleak right now. the worst part is i feel like i cant talk to anyone about this or else they’ll jump on me and call me a genocide apologist or something for being empathetic to both palestinians and israelis, or for not outright condemning zionism as a whole. im afraid if i bring up conversion with my gentile friends they’ll start seeing me differently or demand my opinions on the war. i even caught myself lying about my own israeli family members because i was afraid of a conflict starting.

it just sucks that these are things i have to worry about and carry all to myself. i want a community where i can discuss these topics without fear of being attacked for having opposing views. i want to talk with jews and help curb antisemitism where i see it. i just wish the world, the internet, and especially my age group, had more empathy and willingness to listen instead of just yell and attack. it helps nobody.

Unfortunately, you're probably right about how many of your friends will react if you convert.

But if you feel conversion is the right choice for you, a good place to start would be reaching out to the Rabbi of a nearby synagogue.

Best of luck on your journey, wherever it ultimately takes you.-🐞

[cryptic-crystal]

More below if you would like to hear about my experiences in a pro-endogenic server.

This post is about the plural alliance. They had opened a private ticket due to an anonymous report about AspenFrostEN and myself. They posted some questions for me to answer :

“1. The tiktoker/youtuber you follow do you follow or agree with the things she is doing and encouraging.

2. Do you acknowledge that Aspenfrosten isn't known to be good among both ends of the

DID/OSDD and Plural community (I've confirmed the information with other DID/ OSDD members/community spaces)

3. Will you be part taking in the harassment that aspen is encouraging on Tumblr?”

These questions seemed to be about myself and my interactions with AspenFrostEN’s server. They don’t seem to be more about the non-existent actions I had in that server (due to how I had only made an introduction post in that server). I responded to those questions :

1. Yes I do follow and agree what aspenfrostEN's doing. She isn't in the wrong when she encourages endogenic systems to seek mental help

2. AspenFrostEN is being hated on because she's a system giving out information that people don't necessarily agree with and they choose to take offense to it

3. She isn't harassing, she's laughing at the endo's that interact WITH HER, she isn't intentionally hunting them down or telling her followers to attack them (shown in the post below) and aspen (since joining tumblr) has been sent death threats and slurs, her mods have as well.

They responded to that by bringing up the fact Aspen allowed nsfw in her server, but they’re focusing on the past of Aspen’s server way before it had grown to the 1.5k members it was today. When it was still a Vtuber server with mainly adults. Aspen has since then overhauled her rules to be more strict and catered towards minors and adults. In the conversation they brought forward one example, a message where someone said they were going to get their bf pregnant. They didn’t provide any more examples outside that. I’ve seen that message personally and it doesn’t include any graphic descriptions or photos of what he was talking about doing. They then attempted to compare their own rules and friend group to Aspens. Saying “ That isn't an excuse tho just how most of my friends are Adults if I where to say something adult related then I'm expected to take responsibility and accountability for my own words and actions. ”. Aspen’s friend group is different from your own therefore you shouldn’t be comparing expectations between the two. I also brought up that the Vtuber community isn’t anything like the system community and the Vtuber community is far less traumatized than the system one. They stated their server was catered towards traumatized members and non-traumagenic systems. I brought up the fact that it had always been like that for them and that Aspen’s server hadn’t always been like that. Now the rules are different and once again, catered towards a different audience.

After that I requested what sources they were going off of. They stated it was an anonymous report. In this report it mentioned the allegations against Aspen, but nothing about me. I asked them about how it related to me and they stated that I said I supported Aspen, I asked if they had seen the videos aspen had made in response to the allegations and they said they hadn’t.

Tl;dr : Plural Alliance sucks, I was brought in through an anonymous report that had nothing to do with me and asked questions about the past of AspenFrostEN’s server, focusing mainly on the single “NSFW” message they provided.

- Corbin 🎪

[bylertruther]

byler tumblr's obsession with taking other people's differing opinions as a personal attack, airing their petty grievances to the tag, and insisting that we all behave like a hivemind are only a few of the reasons why the byler tag sucks sometimes.

someone having a different opinion is a good thing. there's always something to learn from someone else's perspective, and it could either open your mind to new things or help you solidify your beliefs. either way, it stokes conversation and critical thought, both of which are good things.

"there's so much drama in the tag." and here you are, adding to it and making it an even bigger spectacle. admit that you like it in plain language, or prove your distaste by ceasing all the encouragement of that behavior when you give it attention. A LOT of people will make the drama they caused a byler tag-wide event, because it's encouraged by many. other people engage with it and make them feel better about whatever they did or believe. stop doing that, and maybe the tag won't have at least one person venting about their latest skirmish every day. you don't need to weigh in on someone else's drama, the same way that they don't need to air that stuff out to thousands of people to begin with. you can't pick a "side" and throw shade in your post and think you got away with "not adding to the drama" because you added something towards the end about how we all need to chill or whatever. actions speak way louder than words, and you're failing to lead by example by not being able to take your own advice.

piggybacking off of that, a majority of the time, the drama in question is just two people disagreeing about something and one of them taking it personally, which isn't even drama to begin with. not everyone is going to agree with you. even if they do, their life history is likely to make them see things differently anyway, regardless of whether they reach the same conclusion or not. groupthink is dangerous. if you can't handle speaking to people that don't agree with you, or fail to understand that someone not falling in line with you isn't some failing of your own or an attack on your person, then i simply don't think you're mature enough yet to engage in healthy debate or discussion with others at large. unless someone is being mean and cruel, their opinion on fiction isn't ever about you as a person. banish that narcissistic thinking, and i promise you you'll feel a million times freer and more confident in your beliefs. also, freedom of speech is a wonderful thing. no one should be made to feel afraid to share their opinion because others will take it personally and attack them if they do.

this is preachy as fuck, but idc. sometimes i scroll through this tag and come to the harrowing realization that i've managed elementary school classrooms (grades k-3, specifically) with better sportsmanship and communication skills. we all like byler and want to see more byler content. that's why we come to #byler! stop flooding this tag with so much unnecessary shit and then complaining about it. i'm here to read about my blorbos, not your routinely scheduled squabbling that could've been easily avoided!!!

[katydoodles]

Word Vomit Post- Life in the USA and Diasporic Feelings

Coming back from summer holiday in Mexico, to go back to work sucks.

The life style is just so different. I hadn't visited my maternal extended family in 8 years and it has been 12 years since I've seen 3/4ths of my paternal extended family. I have 34 cousins on my paternal side and 47 cousins on my maternal side and I'm on the younger side of both sides. My mom is the 9th child of 12 (who survived infancy) and my dad is 6th child of 10 (who survived infancy). Feeling that sense of familiar belonging and knowing where my family is from is such a fulfilling feeling I never appreciated as a kid. I kinda made it my goal to learn as much as I could about my family before my last grandparent passes. He turned 90 and I felt such immense guilt for not seeing any of my grandparents before they passed.

I told myself I was never going to go back to Mexico after a bad experience/ traumatically public anxiety attack in 2015.

I didn't think I would miss being in Mexico.

The life style there is so much more, in lack of better words, Alive. Towns are colorful, odd shapes, people own/build their homes and expand them, to fit with their surrounding nature. No matter how much people lack in the small rural mountain towns, there is a community and belonging everywhere. In the street corners every evening neighbors sit out and greet each other. Go on walks in the paths, farm, take care of their land, harvest their crops, listen to the rain fall, feel the lightning electrify the air and jump when the thunder cracks the sound barrier. Though my family is from a rural mountain area, modern living did not skip them, and yet I still feel like their life style was not taken over by technology (probably cuz the rural mountain villages have so many power outages in the rainy season).

The only other time felt like I belonged when I was in my childhood home in California's Bay Area, before they gentrified my area and kicked out all the low income families, so that all the tech companies could control everyone's lives. Even living now in the Midwest, I never see anyone walking on the street, life revolves around working and mowing your lawn so that your neighbors don't judge you. I don't see kids riding their bikes or outside, everything is so far apart from each other (2 hours in each direction to get to a city where I can even find a Barn's and Noble, a book store or even to buy Boba milk tea). I have never meet so many people who go to the Walmart parking lot to kill time.

Maybe I'm just older now and don't understand the mid-west lifestyle. Maybe I'm missing the belonging I felt from my paternal side of the family in California. Maybe its my anxiety that makes me feel like I don't belong with my maternal family (tho I've tried to connect, and every time I do I always feel that feeling of failing to connect). Maybe its all just my anxiety and can't be content in finding the little things where I am.

I have never felt that feeling of failing to connect with my paternal and maternal family in Mexico... They all know I'm odd and they have never made me feel judged or like I don't belong.

Though I may not fit in in Mexico, I still feel like I belong there.