#and timmy's very good point about how the film never tells you how to feel about it - it lets you make your own judgement
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this is such a great conversation not only because they are both immensely charismatic people, but also timmy brings up great conversation topics in a way that doesn't feel like fishing for scorsese's definitive opinion like an interviewer, but rather a sharing of points of view among professional peers.
#the whole bit about boredom allowing space for creativity and for taking in new ideas and inspiration#and how new technologies are removing some of that for new filmmakers and creators#so good!#and scorsese talking about how people become complicit in violence re: killers of the flower moon#and his fascination with the sort spirituality and morality of society and what happens when we lack that and tensions between those things#and timmy's very good point about how the film never tells you how to feel about it - it lets you make your own judgement#and then marty going on about wolf of wall street like 'why do you need martin scorsese to tell you what he did was bad?'#also scorsese talking about doing a short to keep himself sharp!#CRAFT! CRAFT! ARTISTS TALKING ABOUT CRAFT!#martin scorsese#timothee chalamet
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I was thinking about how Timothee seems to admire Saoirse more than she admires him. She clearly thinks he’s a great actor and compared him to Daniel Day Lewis, but there’s a sense of admiration that comes from him that doesn’t really come from her. We’ve also seen this with Florence, Hozier and George. In Florence’s case, I’m thinking of that interview where Florence says she loved Brooklyn and Saoirse says she liked fwmf because of Jack pretty much. Both Hozier and George have said they like any movie she’s in, and while she likes Hozier’s music and was very supportive of George during the 2020 award season (and by that I mean that I saw like a video of her clapping), she would never say anything remotely similar during an interview. She also kind of said it in that interview with James, she was talking about relationships but she said she’s always the one that’s less into it. This takes me to my next point, which is that I think Jack and Saoirse have shared similar stuff about their relationship/each other. But Saoirse sounds more obsessed and I think this is why. Jack praises everyone all the time, he praises Saoirse more but it’s not really out of the ordinary. But it her case it feels more surprising because we aren’t used to that from her
yeah but like… Saoirse really is an amazing actor (so is Timmy tho and as you say she’s compared him to Daniel Day Lewis which is pretty much the highest praise one can give a male actor). I agree the amount she praises Jack is a bit funny because like he’s absolutely lovely but the way she talks about him you’d think he’s Timmy level talented and I’m personally not sure he is?? Not a criticism at all - few people are - but it is absolutely hysterical that she will openly say Timmy is well on the way to be on par with Daniel Day Lewis (he is imo and he’s also not method so less of a cunt and he’s proven in the last couple years that he’s not just a good actor but is a proper box office draw and can helm franchises and make serious money for people so that’s fucking awesome???) like once and then also take every possible opportunity possible to say Jack is the best thing since sliced bread. It is very very very cute. I don’t think Jack expects or even wants that necessarily but she’s just really really really into him and it’s ofc very cute.
I don’t think tho that Timmy specifically has been nicer about her than she is about him. He’s very complimentary (again deservedly so as he should be) but it’s not like he talks about her that often.
I’m still tbh surprised she didn’t get Dune because I think she should’ve based on the people who ship her with Timmy and how I’ve always imagined that character. I didn’t like florence in that film. I do like florence as an actress but she felt miscast in dune 2. I also don’t believe Saoirse turned it down and I do think she auditioned so I think they went for Miss Flo because she has a bigger socials following and I understand that but I think they should’ve trusted 1) it’s Dune TWO and we know Dune one did well so no reason to doubt that 2) Timmy can helm a franchise 3) Zendaya and Austin Butler - I actually think he was fun for that in the end - will bring people in. Irulan should’ve been Saoirse idk lol.
on that same note though, the fact that she wasn’t in that film also tells me a lot about Timmy and hers relationship because he absolutely has sway with creative choices right now. If he wanted a friend in what is essentially a cameo role, Denis would’ve done it for him. He didn’t gaf. Not in a nasty way imo - maybe if she’d actively asked him he’d have done it for her but I also don’t think she would’ve - but like he just didn’t gaf? I think he’ll watch The Outrun though to like check it out and I think she watches his stuff but yeah man idk if they were good friends she’d have gotten the part. He absolutely could’ve done that for her.
re hozier and George lmao yea okay they do seem more into her than she is into them these days. But Timmy and her seem fairly even and as I say if he liked her that much, he’d have had her in Dune. He doesn’t imo and he needn’t like put his ass on the line for a very casual friend lmao.
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oh man I been sharing memes this whole time but I just sat down to watch Dune and... yeah... as predicted: Vileneuve gave into self seriousness & in so doing deliberately shied away from fun aesthetics like Lynch had because he's a cornball who thinks desaturated minimalism is more artistically legitimate than color or innovative costume/character design (cinematography & framing is lovely, not mad at the spaceship designs, and tbh the sound design is STELLAR, but it MUST be said)
but also I realize now I never watched a Timothee Chalamet movie and yeah yeah yeah his face is very symmetrical & all but he is almost CARTOONISHLY mopey in motion, like he is very technically pretty but I've already said elsewhere he looks like a Burton caricature of a person (specifically Byronic flavored consumptive Christian Bale lmao, but, yk, less talent & more nepotism— not to be mean, just another thing that MUST be said! but fr Christian been tearing stuff up since he was just a lil youngster on skill alone, Timmy has rich parents) & WOW I was right
anyway... I do appreciate that Denis was like "MY angle is def the rise & fall & interpersonal destruction within the gears of imperialism moreso than the magic war," though I love that Lynch was like, "ok but the magic war is REALLY compelling," like you could see Vileneuve making sure that Paul turning into a worm is symbolic & about being subsumed by the material conflict itself down to being an image + fetish object to be deified and/or exploited and then consumed, Lynch would do that but lean into the literalism of the fuckin worm
but it is tricky because while Vileneuve's obviously crafted a technically superior film, I can't tell if it's more racist than Lynch's or just feels more racist due to less weirdness on top to distract from the weirdness of how the Fremen are both written & discussed (like Lynch playing up the mysticism means it's a much more played straight white savior narrative, but the Fremen being like, "no, you're The Guy, The Guy from The Prophecy," is less... off-color... when the Bene Geserrit Kwisatz Haderach stuff is more central to the thrust of the story & it all goes uncriticized, but Vileneuve emphasizing the politics highlights the Fremen as the ones looking for a white savior, and it's very shades of "superstitious natives being weirdly worshipful of a guy who happens to be The Guy," and retaining the criticism of the imperial colonial model + the "this is actually why you specifically shouldn't put ANY guy on a pedestal" points works well with the overarching political themes, but it also definitely imo diminishes the Fremen, more than Lynch's does, to Paul's cheerleaders, supporting act, and Orientalist, Exotic Mystic, Noble Savage, sovereignty-subplot-footnote props)...
and despite that as a narrative issue, the movie's good, or at least, not irredeemably bad... but I can't tell yet if Lynch's is more fun, or again, if it just feels more fun because it feels weirder & less racist, or if it's a nostalgia thing, or if Vileneuve's will eventually get fun (even if not equally, just a different fun) once we get more Chani + Alia.
whatever, though. my point is Timothee's kinda funny looking & not of any particularly noteworthy talent. what's up with that, y'all? you just let him be famous? not to pull some cheesy, "ohhhhh, are the heterosexuals okayyyyy?" type of bullshit re: his looks, but phew the state of Hollywood! not that weird racist cult classic sci fi (weird even FOR racist cult classic sci fi lol) should or should not have top shelf vs mid talent or anything, but the fact that Timmy IS considered top shelf... I'm not a weirdo who wants a return to the studio system or anything goofy like that, and nepotism was always a factor, but truly, I'm blaming superhero movies & wack ass action franchises for the kind of casting trends that only leave room for the Timothee Chalamets of the world to play Paul Atreides, especially in stories like Dune that do so much with legacy & legitimacy in regards to its characters' ties to spouses, partners, children, corruption, casualties, and yeah, nepotism. a BIT on the nose if it was anywhere from 35-72% more self aware.
#long post //#am I a hater very well then I am a hater......#like I'm thinking about this angle harder than Lynch did. but Lynch also didn't have to. because he made different choices lol#he saw the source material & said ''whoa whoa everybody shut the FUCK up. tell me more about these witches'' & I RESPECT that so much!#but Vileneuve clearly said ''I want this to be a big brain momenttttt'' and cast the nepotism baby as the nepotism baby#and like... I can't tell if he KNEW that's what he did or not lmao. and tbh if he DID know idk if he TOLD ANYONE ELSE.#also the difference in racial tone despite a more diverse cast... odd tbh... can't tell if it's accidental OR on purpose or smart OR stupid#critical //#dune critical //#dune#dune (1984)#dune (2021)
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PART 5
Hello sweethearts:)
Next part (part 6) will be the last one. It will be a long one and very cozy and christmassy and romantic. Please let me know if you are reading these, it motivates me a lot to write more. Maybe I’ll start a new series!
Xxxx Murphy
Timmy POV
I was sitting on the corner of her bed when she woke up.
I was surprised she didn’t flinch when she noticed me, there was no trace of fear to be found. It pleased me. I gave her a smile. When you have had an entire night to overthink the possibility of having lost someone you love there is a glossiness on their presence and a gratitude in seeing them do simple things, like breathing or hear their voice. I had been mad at her too but these feelings had dissolved completely when I saw her face in that hotel in Manhattan.
‘Ready?’ I asked.
‘Hell yes.’ Her voice was raspy but her eyes were bright and awake.
‘Good.’ I said and stood up. ‘Do you want coffee here or get some outside?’
‘Outside’
‘Excellent choice’
She chuckled and made a motion with her hand to tell me to get out of the room to let her change.
‘I’m going I’m going.’ I walked out and got into my jacket and a scarf. There were two gloves laying on the heater in the same color as the hat I’d given her. I wondered if she’d brought them from home or bought them in the city.
‘You can keep the hat if you want’ I told her when she joined me at the door. She just shook her head and tousled my hair.
‘You’re too good for this world Timmy I mean it.’
I just laughed and looked at the floor.
****
It was raining outside, too early for the snow to be lasting. It would come back in a couple of weeks.
We walked around Central Park with our coffees and I told her stories I had memorized, inside information about the history of the park. When Zendaya pointed to an information board in the northwest part of the park I told her the story of Seneca village.
I told her that in the 1820s when Central Park was yet to be put into existence most people lived in lower Manhattan, but after the abolition of slavery and a shortage in jobs it became unsafe for free black people to live in this area. They moved uptown to the hilly countryside and bought a piece of land and named it Seneca village. It soon became an integrated community. People of all ethnicities seemed to get along and through archeological findings it also seemed like the village was quite rich.
Unfortunately as the development of Central Park started the village got destroyed and its history forgotten until recent archeological excavations.
‘Imagine how many poc families would be in upper class by now if their properties weren’t demolished’ zendaya said after I finished talking.
‘Yeah crazy right.’
‘It’s weird to walk here now I know this. It feels like walking through something sacred.’
***
After Central Park I showed her my favorite pizza place, stone oven and hand made. We ate and talked and afterwards I brought her to a small cinema I used to come as a kid and we went in to watch a screening of lady bird. Halfway through the film Zendaya put her head on my shoulder. She didn’t say anything and I didn’t object. I wanted to wrap my arms around her so badly and interlace my fingers with hers but I didn’t move. I was glad we were close again and reminded myself I could never ask for more then friendship.
The next day Zendaya left to go home to LA. I was sulky and called some friends to spent the rest of the week with them instead of feeling sorry for myself and being on my own.
Zendaya and I didn’t talk a lot the following month, just a few how are you’s over text but then december came and my phone rang. I was in London at the time in a taxi and it was pouring outside making it hard for me to understand what she was trying to tell me.
‘Tom and I we.... I... it’s not fair to him. We had a great time but I had to tell him. I told him it’s over.’ She was rambling and talking so fast I had to fill in a lot of gaps. Did I hear this correctly or was I making this up. How could this have happened? They were so invested in eachother. Or at least I’d told myself this over and over.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked.
‘I’m good, yes. Where are you, what’s that noise.’
‘London, it’s raining.’
‘Ah. Too bad.’
‘Why?’
‘Oh nothing.’
I smiled. ‘Okay...’
‘Well actually I thought maybe I could come visit again? I miss New York and I need to get out of LA...’
‘Yes of course Zee.’
‘When can I come?’
‘I’ll be back next week but I have to return my uncles car that I borrowed, he lives in Vermont so it’ll be a bit of a drive. I’m not sure when I’ll be back from that, probably just before Christmas.’
She was quiet for a bit as though she was contemplating this. “Can I come?”
‘To Vermont?’
‘.....yes.’
‘Sure, yes of course.’
‘How long are we in the car for?’
‘Six hours or so, so we should probably crash there.’
‘Oh jezus.’
‘Yes it’s up north quite a bit.’
‘Won’t your uncle mind?.’
‘He lives in a huge cabin it won’t be a problem.’
‘Okay sounds like an adventure.’
‘It sure will be.’
@lonely-simp @daya1and1timo
TO BE CONTINUED
#timothee chalamet#timothee x reader#timothëe chalamet fanfic#zendaya x timothée#roger taylor fanfic#roger taylor imagine#roger taylor x reader#ben hardy imagine#timmy#timmytim#timothée x zendaya#timothée chalamet x zendaya#timothée zendaya
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perennial;tom holland|fifteen.
chapter fifteen: weeds.
↳ flower meanings:
Daisy: new beginnings Thistles: protection buttercups : childish white clover: happiness
chapter summary: the stories of the wallflowers and who we are supposed to blame
pairing: tom holland x y/n
warnings: angst, mentions of sex, UNRELIABLE authors
word count: 9K
SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER: none
previous chapter next chapter perennial masterlist.
perfidy ( series masterlist)
wanna be tagged?
I know it took me forever to write this, it was so difficult to write this chapter. I KNOW IT’S UNUSUAL, but please read between the lines because I am trying to tell the story through everyone’s eyes. And EVERYTHING has a reason I swear. ESPECIAL THANKS TO @laurieteddy ( @erodasghosts ) for helping me out wit this, go thank her, there woudln’t be any chapter,
tags aren’t working, please leave feedback asdakd
People often tend to ignore the wild daisies, thistles or buttercups that dare to pop in the road, people often think of them as rather a plague, or rather too common to be interested in them. Most people try not to look at them. But when they are combined and together they can create the most beautiful bouquet.
Some people, like Harry, however like to stop and stare and collect them, wonder how they grow in the most unsuitable places. Harry was someone who could spread love so easily, when he was a wallflower himself. Not easily noticed. A crestfallen Harry had been trying to figure out what to do, for a while now. He hadn’t been able to grow his love around anyone lately, because he’d lost his favorite flower. How would he grow daisies when the daisy did not want to grow anymore.
Emma was one of those daisies that people often ignored. So spectacular she managed to bloom even when all the odds were against her, in the most odd places. Like daisies in the path as they managed to outgrow the asphalt, or daisies in window corners, or in random fields where people like to do picnics.
Often people ignored her for she was outshined by other magnificent flowers. Even the night before, she’d been outshined by another flower who had just joined the game.
Emma had been outshined by a particular flower for a while now, she did not resent her in any way. Though she could not hide her appetence, for it had come and gone so many times by now. Why would anyone stare at a daisy like her? She would wonder.
Emma often thought of y/n to be a sunflower, unique, beautiful and vedirit, the flower that has sun in its own name because even the sun is outshined sometimes. A flower that searches for the sun, for the spotlight. Emma, a daisy was often outshined by a magnificent sunflower. Because people often think daisies can keep blooming even when they are stepped on.
Timmy took Emma for granted. Harry had been so delicate, until he decided that he needed to know why sunflowers grew so tall.
According to gardeners daisies are hardy, drought-tolerant plants that provide years of gorgeous, classic charm. Sure. Emma was all of that, she was tolerant but she also wanted to be loved. Very loved and she deserved it. She was such a magnificent human being who dared to pop out in the darkest situations.
However, Emma understood why y/n got the attention. Sunflowers were also drought-tolerant but they don’t bloom that easily. It depends on the soil, how you water them… and all the care plants need. But once they bloom, such a whimsical and lyrical flower.
Emma knew why Tim and y/n had not worked out. And Emma knew why Tom and her would work.
Timmy liked peonies. Y/N was not a peony.
Tom liked yellow flowers. Sunflowers, more often than not, are yellow.
Emma did not understand, if Harry loved daisies…. Why didn't they work out?
Did Harry truly love daisies or had he settled for the tiny version of a sunflower, the one with less impact. The one that could bloom easily. The one he didn’t have to water that often. The one flower that didn’t need the spotlight.
Emma would replay that night over, and over. The night that champagne had been spilled because someone had dropped the glass, the night that every heart had been broken. And she wondered how not even Harry had been able to turn the disaster into a beautiful evening, because everything had been dropped. The night everyone had burned, the beautiful garden had turned into chaos, a war. A war she did not wish to be a part of.
Emma wished to be a sunflower. And it was ironic given how many times y/n had told Emma she wanted to be like her, y/n did not see how thrilling and exciting her life was. How Emma though, knew it complicated, longed for the drama and the story and… everything.
Sure, her and Harry had had a lovely story, but y/n and Tom? Even y/n and Timmy. Her stories were worth telling. That’s why she was bloody telling it. Full of plot twists and drama and fire. A story that kept everyone on the edge.
And it wasn’t jealousy, it’s just— Emma was frustrated. She was just not burning in her story. She was boring and though she tried to shine and shine, she just—was taken for granted, because daisies aren’t unique. They’re delicate, though. Easy to bloom and easy to break.
She did not want to be taken for granted. No, she wouldn’t. But maybe Harry still liked the sunflower. Or he had once, so how could he like daisies over sunflowers?
Harry, was one big mystery to Emma, how he grew into her like poison ivy. Without poison, and flowers and just tangled into her. Emma thought Harry’s love was like a good plague, one that kept flowering through her. And growing into one couldn’t get out.
Emma missed him, Emma missed kissing Harry. And though Emma often was against kisses, because she believed kisses were only but a hoax to get tricked into phony romance. Emma always said to beware good kissers, because you might end up thinking you’re in love.
Emma knew that's probably what had happened to y/n, Tim had been just too good of a kisser for her, that she ended up believing she was in love with him. Lips hold poison that becomes addictive. Sometimes that addiction becomes toxic, which is what Emma believed happened to Tim. He had miscomprehended his own situation, he was not in love anymore, he was an addict to y/n.
Or… rather, he didn’t want to accept that he hadn’t been enough sunlight for the sunflower. Sunflowers turn to the sun. Maybe Tom was the closest thing to the sun for her, maybe that’s why y/n shined the most when she was with him, her smile was the brightest, and she was the warmest. Emma knew how y/n’s smile would linger every time Tom made her smile, she’d noticed it, even on set when she was trying to hide it. She wasn’t subtle, y/n’s glance would look for Tom, and when he was around, she’d try to hold her breath. She… shined. Because sunflowers turn to the sun.
Daisies, however,search for unusual places. And Emma had searched for the most unusual place to bloom now.
Emma had slept with Josh for a simple reason, he wasn’t a good kisser and kissing gets more intimate than sex. For Emma, a kiss could tell if you could fall in love. Kissing was but the bond of two people’s secret merging into one.
Emma was tired, she wanted the talking to stop with Harry and just… kiss him. That’s all she wanted, but her pride was too loud. She wanted to be like the sunflower, who could easily forgive. But Emma was terrified, because she’d never been able to love like this before, and the light was still flickering.
Emma had talked to Cherry, or rather… Listened to her, and she wondered however could she blame her. Cherry, Cherry was another victim outshined by the sunflower. Cherry was just another casualty drawn by the war, and her heartbreak, could be just as powerful. But of course, no one cared about her. She was the villain. Emma had listened to Cherry. Cherry was not in love with Tom, Emma could tell. She’d been fooled by a kiss, but no, she was not in love. Cherry had only been blinded by Tom.
Had Emma been a villain at some sort of point? Pushing Tim and Y/N together, even if Emma knew that Tim and y/n would eventually break?
Emma had been blinded because she knew she couldn’t lose Harry. And god, it hurt. So much, and she was confused and she needed to scream to finally be noticed. There is the inexplicable pain that comes when you don’t acknowledge it, and avoiding it won’t erase the problem, it makes it grow more and more.
Emma did not understand why she had tried to avoid it, getting drunk, dressing up, taking long walks and singing, but she was not okay. And maybe it was finally sinking. Emma was a flower that was drying out, that was reminded of the greatest love one could have ever dreamed of. Maybe Emma had learned too much of the sunflower, but now she felt it, how Emma was now made of Harry, too.
Emma hadn’t smiled since she’d left him, and she wished she had tried to mend things before, but Emma felt like it would take her nowhere because maybe her love had not been enough for Harry, and to feel worthless takes one strength, and Emma was getting tired of pretending she was strong.
Probably not even Tim had noticed it, how she had stopped dressing a certain way or why she couldn’t watch certain films, she had had a haircut, and how she still couldn’t explain it to herself. Why had the fairytale faded? Days turned into night, and there she had been again, kissing another stranger.
Emma had her head underwater and until now she noticed she couldn’t breath. The daisy was not there anymore.
Emma never cried, but she did this one time, with a cigarette burning out in between her fingers, with the tulips in her nightstand dried out, listening to Tim complaining about Tom, whatever he tried to say Emma had not listened.
Someone had shown up later that night, the door had rang, probably y/n willing to talk about her latest decision, Emma felt some sort of fear. Had y/n spent the entire day with Harry?
Tim had looked up, too. Y/N could’ve forgotten her key, was she there? Emma was not sure why that had made her feel unsteady, after all this time, did she believe y/n would go for Harry?
Timmy went to open the door and he seemed… calm. Not sure what Emma had expected, probably a crying y/n that only longed for a bottle of cheap wine for herself as they sat on the floor, near the couch, and then they would end up listening to old 80’s songs, or re-watching some poorly made netflix show that probably didn’t deserve the attention, but was good enough to have as a background.
That was what Emma had expected. To be yet again pushed aside.
“I’ll… want me to get the door?” Tim asked.
Emma shook her head, knowing that y/n would not want to see Tim. Emma stood up. And it hadn’t been what she had expected. Yet, she was filled with doubts. Had y/n… given up on Tom and decided to go with Harry?
What happened? Had she not talked to Tom? Had she spent the day with Harry? They must have.
How—how did the sunflower manage that?
How could it only take them a day and be fine with it?
There was a slight hint of jealousy over Emma, which was completely understandable. The girl had gone through so many times of being outshined by her, even y/n’s sadness had to outshine Emma’s.
But it wasn’t y/n at the door.
Because probably no one had cared enough to care about the wallflowers, but they had to solve it.
And it had taken another fire to get that other wallflower to Emma’s door.
The night before, the one thundering storm that had crashed in the other household. But it had ceased.
Before Emma had opened the door, the other weed like flowers had had a conversation, hours before. The other casualties had been having a conversation while Tom and y/n were enjoying a sunset, everyone else was dreading the darkness the night would bring.
Before they could even think of the solution Tom and y/n had made, it seemed like the conversation of their unpredictable mess was making them flow. Merely minutes before Tom and y/n had come back home.
James, another wallflower himself, had spent the day of the storm with Clark and Sam, and though they seemed calm, and they had had what could be called a good day, he couldn’t stop his nerves. James was often too protective of his sister and he would not stop by now. Though, he had also been very protective of Tom.
They went home, after Harry had warned them the other pair had left to solve their problem elsewhere. Though it was selfish, the four of them wished they could solve it for the sake of the group.
James was worried about his sister, and he now had to worry for the impression Clark had of him and the drama. James didn’t want Clark to be involved in that drama.
Clark, however, had been possibly the only one that understood the situation. Outsiders often see the wider picture and notice things we don’t. To Clark it was clear that the people around Tom and y/n had been their doom. Clark was not a wallflower. But he didn’t know that and he did not care.
Clark was someone, very much like Harry, and Clark was someone who actually liked thistles. Thistles are often disregarded because of their prickles, and not very pretty among many flowers.
Clark often knew that everyone thought James was a prick. He was, for the matter, but it was often because James liked to protect himself and those around him, building fences to keep them safe.
“I think, James, you do not give enough credit to them,” Clark said. “They managed to go from mortal enemies to a very adorable couple. What I’ve seen so far is two people who love each other so much that they grew past their hatred which, I may have been a witness to when we first started dating, those two could not be in a room without throwing knives at each other and now the way they look at each other reminds me so much of us, even I was slightly jealous of their glances. So secretive and loving.”
Maybe they all tried to ignore that, how they’d turned arguments into flirting, and translated smirks into smiles.
James sighed, “they haven’t changed. Plus, they—slept with other people, and our cousin?”
Sam was quietly sitting across them, scrolling through his phone.
Harry snorted a chuckle, “Do you think they will get out of this one?”
“Yes,” Sam was the one to speak now.
James rolled his eyes, “and then they’ll keep being idiots.”
“Love changes us, idiot,” Clark said. “Look at you, before I met you, you’d be hooking up with a different person every bloody night,” he chuckled.
James rolled his eyes, “are you slut shaming me?”
Sam chuckled at the statement. “You /were/ a slut.”
James rolled his eyes, “shut up.”
“No, but I mean, when we first—started dating I was also scared of not being—You know, I’m boring—“
“You’re not boring,” James interrupted. Because he wasn’t.
“But I am not like you are—you—you and I are very different, you are a very fun person, though sometimes you bloody decide to act all grown up to y/n, you’re still an idiot.”
“Always acting so grown up,” Sam intruded. “As if you knew what you were doing.”
“I do know!” James complained.
Harry laughed, “you do not.”
“Especially when it comes to y/n,” Sam said. “That’s the least you know.”
Harry, also standing nearby, rolled his eyes and nodded.
“No, no, that’s not true, I think you do know,” Clark pointed out. “But you are too worried to see that this is—Look, okay not right now, but I do think your sister and—“Clark turned to Sam and Harry. “And your brother are so in love but they kept listening to all of you and ended up sabotaging themselves.”
“They’re idiots,” Harry finally commented.
“So is James and look at us,” Clark pointed out.
James chuckled, “are you done insulting your fiancé?”
“I’m not insulting you,” he kissed his cheek. “My point is, you changed and we adapted and we became this magnificent couple, but it’s not always been easy.”
James stayed quiet, he knew that. It had not been rainbows and butterflies but they’d managed to come through.
Clark watched him, James was often too insecure of everything and built walts and pricked anyone who tried to tumble them down, Clark included. And James often did the same thing with y/n, trying to hide her from the world, and always trying to be the bigger person.
“I think their problem is the exact problem of ours,” Clark continued. “While everyone here is meddling in their relationship, you sister didn’t even know we were serious.”
Clark and James had had a nice relationship but every obstacle on their way had almost been powerful enough to break them apart. However each time they had outgrown it, their relationship had come stronger. That’s probably why Clark believed in the other pair. But Clark also believed James had overprotected y/n and not let her make her own decisions, maybe y/n had tried to convince herself to love Tim because her own brother had told her to. Maybe y/n had doubted Tom because her own brother told her to.
“I…” James sighed. “I know this kind of stuff happens to y/n, and Tom and y/n specifically, look I didn’t bring you that one time at the engagement party and look what happened, I am--That’s the thing, Tom and y/n always… Even when they weren’t dating we were always on the edge of what they will do next, look at us now I don’t know what they will come up with tonight.”
Harry sighed, and rolled his eyes, he did not want to keep being part of that conversation. He left.
Clark did understand why James had been so keen on having their relationship so private. James was scared of the other obstacles that he could not control. James did not trust his sister that much, not with relationships.
Even when Y/N was dating Tim, James had told Clark how he thought the guy was perfect for her but that he didn’t trust y/n. Maybe James did know why y/n couldn’t love Tim back as much as Tim loved her.
“What I’ve seen is them so in love, and I can tell she truly loves him and is not forcing herself to love him,” Clark said.
James frowned. “What?”
Clark took a deep breath, “I feel like y/n—I, look, I’m not—“Clark gulped.
Sam frowned “what?”
“I—Okay, I met y/n when she was in another relationship,” Clark reminded them. “With Tim.”
“She loved Tim,” James said. “Tim—“
“No, I know, I know, but I see y/n just—she is so free when she is with Tom, and I met Tom before I met any of you.”
James probably understood this. James had criticized y/n when she was dating Tim. But James loved Tim because he had loved y/n, so unconditionally, and Clark had pointed it out to James, how Tim would go to the end of the world for her.
Which is what James would do for Clark. And what Clark would do for James. But Clark had always known that y/n wouldn’t for Tim. Because it seemed that every time she dressed up for Tim, she wished she was dressing up for someone else.
“So?” Sam questioned.
But Clark knew that Tom and y/n would go to the end of the world for each other, and they had proved it several times now. And Clark knew that this was the first time y/n did not do what her brother told her to do, this was her fighting for her own heart and this was her not wanting to be under protection of her brother.
“I think Tom and y/n will work it out, I don’t think it’s easy, but—I think that both of them, if they’ve outgrown everything else, they will outgrow this and you should be supportive whatever their decision is,” Clark stated.
“And if they break up?” Sam questioned, “what will happen to us?”
What would happen to them. Clark knew that probably was what James feared the most. James and Tom had always been friends, there had always been a type of bond between them. It was even weird to him seeing him and his sister so foolishly in love. James knew he would have to say goodbye to Tom, even if he was going to ask him to be the best man. James would have to let Tom go.
And James wondered how y/n would be. Y/N had spent her whole life in love with Tom, her whole life had been wrapped around that fact. James knew. So what would happen if it ever happened?
James and Tom had always been friends.
Sam and y/n had been friends for as long as they could recall, always making fun of each other, building the funniest of anecdotes. Sure everyone knew Harry and y/n had always been best friends. But barely people acknowledged how close Sam and y/n were.
Sam was always left on the outside, probably because he always liked to avoid trouble. Sam, more often than not, was considered to be the most childish in the group. Sam was not childish, he just simply did not understand. Sam was not ignored. Buttercups are loved, though sometimes their love is spread too much and people don’t know what they have to do with it. The problem is when it becomes too much and often, people don’t know what to do with it.
Sam had distanced because he was one of the few people who did not stand y/n and Tom, long before they were dating. He did not stand their bickering, he hated taking sides. Of course everything had made sense when they had confessed they were madly in love but Sam didn’t quite figure it out. How could anyone hate and then love?
For Sam, it had not made any sense, partly. He had known y/n was in love with Tom, her glance was so obvious and then when he had looked back at it, it made perfect sense.
Though she had despised Tom, every now and then Sam would notice y/n hide a smile.
Sam had always tried to figure everything out, and his own imagination often led to conclusions that would drive him insane. Like a child, he always asked the questions.
How? How could she be in love with her very own enemy?
Sam had been the one to drive her home after that heartbreak, after the nightclub. Sam had been the one to listen to her and—Sam had been the one to know she wouldn’t get out of that heartbreak that easily.
Sam had also been the first to know Y/N would date Tim, and he had been the first person—after Harrison to hear Tom say he was in love with her.
Clark’s remark had made Sam think about Tim and y/n, to compare it to Tom and y/n.
The more he thought about it, the less sense it made.
However, Sam had been the only one to ask Tom after the engagement party, probably. “It’s so scary to think I’ve loved her my whole life and it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.”
Sam remembered when he found out about it, and how angry he was at his brother but how happy he had been after he heard they were having fun in New York. Even when they had told their parents, it seemed that Sam’s fear and anger had gone away, and then… The engagement party.
Sam thought of how scary it was to lose someone you have loved your whole life , but he understood why they were persistent, because if they were so in love and had been for a while, growing past each , how come this had turned into this mess?
Sometimes love isn’t what we think of it.
Sam had been the only one to tell y/n that Timmy and her were not made for each other. She hadn’t questioned him, probably because she knew it. But Sam had been the only one to tell her. Probably because he knew his own brother, Harry at the time of course, he knew nothing about Tom, was deeply in love with her. Maybe that’s what drove Sam to say it but… honestly, Sam did not trust Timothee to be around y/n. He agreed with Tom most of the times when he criticized Timothee.
But he had stayed quiet long enough.
Sam had been the one who had noticed that Tim had known about Harry’s feelings, Harry had never been subtle but… he knew Timothee had noticed.
There were a lot of things Sam had noticed, like how Tim had set up Harry with Emma. Which, of course, ended up being the best thing that could’ve ever happened to Harry, but Sam knew Tim had done it but to get rid of Harry.
Tom had once pointed it out to Sam.
“That guy, Tim, the one y/n is hooking up with,” he had said with poison. “He seems that he quickly got rid of Harry eh? He set Harry up with this other girl just so he can have y/n to himself.”
No, but—Harry and Emma had met at the club. But—maybe Tim had set them up?
And it had seemed like that. Sam wondered what Tim had done to get rid of Tom, because he had probably noticed about it. Timothée was very, very observant. Quiet.
Timothee had probably noticed about Tom’s infatuation long before anyone else had.
Sam knew Timothée was a very, very smart individual. He was very quiet and Sam did not quite like that. Everything he said was like a perfectly crafted plan. He was incredibly smart, and Sam didn’t trust that. But of course, he had been the one to stay quiet for a long time. However, he saw that y/n was happy. And Sam really liked that, because he’d seen her right after that club night, and Sam had been the only one she would reach out to. Occasionally.
Sam had been the first one to know that y/n had declined Tim’s proposal. Sam had been the one y/n had called because she knew Harry was with Emma. Sam didn’t know the real reason why she had declined the proposal. He only remembered how she had arrived at him and was barely breathing. After coming back from that trip to France, to meet his grandparents. Barely anyone knew she had come earlier from that trip, she had cut it short. Coming back to London alone, she’d taken the Eurostar, and it seemed she’d cried all her way back home.
She’d asked Sam to go and pick her up to get her home. She was speaking quickly and nonsense as if she had been barely breathing for the trip. “I-I said no, I should’ve said yes, I love him but I don’t… don’t even know why I said no, I can’t believe I said no I am so stupid.”
She was crying, saying nothing made sense and how her heart had broken because she couldn’t come up with a real reason to say no. Sam had asked if she was ready, if she loved him. Because y/n had not told him what had happened.
“Did you break up?” Sam asked.
“No.”
“What happened?” He questioned.
She had taken a deep breath. “I don’t love him enough.”
She hadn’t seen it coming, but Harry had told Sam. Harry knew Tim would propose. Emma had told Harry. Everyone thought she would say yes, honestly. You never really truly know how a relationship is behind closed doors, but… Sam had been grateful she’d said no. The skeletons in his closet had not come out yet.
Y/N had always thought that Sam didn’t know, but he was very aware.
“I met his grandma, and—She said I would be perfect, I think they—-“she had said. “And—he gave it on a film canister… and I love him, but I’m not—not completely in love. There—there is a part of me that still is not over Tom and I am not sure if I will ever be completely healed from the pain he’s caused me, and that impedes me from loving Tim.”
Sam knew there wasn’t really anything to be worried about, but Sam had known it for a long time. How Tim was probably a master of manipulation. But he knew it, too. Tom had broken y/n to the next level.
“Will you ever be over Tom?” Sam asked.
She had not answered. She wouldn’t be.
Timothée was not a bad person. But Tim often did things to get things done his way, even when he didn’t see it.
“You know I won’t,” she said eventually.
What part had Tim played in this mess? Though there wasn’t much of a part to be played, because y/n and Tom seemed to love creating the chaos themselves, Sam could only wonder what exactly had Tim done to try and take Tom out of the picture.
Though we could argue that it was ‘after Rome’, Sam had noticed that y/n did hate Tom more after Tim’s arrival. But it’s a very fine line because there is a lot Sam didn’t know as to what had happened in Rome and it was after the nightclub.
Sam didn’t understand why they said ‘Rome’, as if Rome had been the place that had been cursed when in fact it had been the very NightClub when things had shattered. For a heart to shatter, it needs to be made of glass. Hearts can only be made of glass when they’re so thoroughly in love. A heart that’s not in love is not easy to break. It’s funny, the stronger the love, the weaker the heart, in some sort of way.
No, Sam had to rephrase that. When a love is so strong, the heartbreak will be more painful. So, Sam could only guess how in love y/n had been to have a heart so shattered. And how was she doing now? And after the script? But last night… She’d made the same face she’d made that night at that club.
There is something about seeing your best friend heartbroken, it fuels your inner rage. Then again, he’d seen his brother heartbroken too.
That’s why Sam usually stepped out, he was not sure how he was supposed to proceed.
But Sam had missed y/n and he didn’t want to miss her again. And then, the night before. He had seen her face, and then she had run away, with Harry this time. Sam had thought she would ask him to drive her away again, like all those times before. Instead, he had stayed with his brother.
He’d heard Tom cry the night before.
But y/n? How had she spent her night? Maybe this time her heart made of glass had been covered on something else or it… was simply too broken now that the shattered pieces couldn’t be turned but into dust for now.
Sam didn’t blame Tom or y/n. But he had to blame someone.
There was something about Tim, or maybe blaming it on Tim was easier for Sam so he didn’t have to take any sides. He could also blame Cherry, but the poor girl had done nothing wrong but to be a fool, and there is a fine line there.
Sam decided to keep blaming Tim. What did Tim have to do with y/n’s heartbreak?
Hadn’t he told her, after their breakup? To sort her feelings out. What did Tim do? Because Tim was very smart.
Tim definitely knew about Tom and y/n. He had probably been the only damn person to have known it since the beginning.
What had Tim said to poison y/n even more against Tom? He had been the one to teach her that one word, perfidy.
Sam had read the script. And something didn’t sit right with Teddy’s character, how he seemed so perfect and yet he had seen y/n run from another country. How Teddy pointed it out, about William and Valerie.
It meant he had pointed out between Tom and y/n.
What had he told y/n about Tom? Yes, Tom and y/n were enemies, and they’d always been, always fighting, but in the end they were friends. In their own way. Maybe only because of the family, but…
Something just didn’t click with Sam.
Probably Tim had poisoned y/n with horrible thoughts about Tom, because y/n had said Tom was a monster, she’d written about it. How could someone ever love someone like him?
Tim was not a bad person. Sam had to tell himself that. Because he wasn’t, really. At the end of the day he was a good friend but… The guy just was… sketchy. To Sam, because it was just as if he had manipulated y/n into loving him.
Or, no, no that’s not how love works. No, y/n had loved him but maybe y/n had known it all the time.
But it just… He always wanted the best for y/n. Right?
Had… What had Tim done to bring y/n to LA, too?
Of course it was stupid to think, but… Sam didn’t want to jump into conclusions but he knew Tim was no saint. He knew that Tim knew y/n. That’s something Sam pointed out every time, Sam knew y/n. He remembered how Tim had brought another girl to his and Harry’s birthday party, knowing damn well y/n’s biggest fear was to be replaced. So if he knew it so, so well, why had he done it? To hurt her?
But also, Tim was the one to… Sam had to erase those thoughts. No, Tim wasn’t a bad person because he’d also been the one to show y/n she could smile again, and she could laugh and love.
And Sam knew how the breakup had gone, New Year’s Eve, when y/n had drunkenly confessed to Tim:
“There’s still a part of me that will always wonder if Tom’s the love of my life.”
To hear that from the person you love the most, must change you. And Tim had asked her to sort her feelings out.
Sam could not blame Tim.
But then again… He had kissed y/n right when he knew Tom and y/n were starting something. And who had come to comfort y/n after the engagement party? Tim.
It seemed like it was so perfectly calculated. So, very well planned. Or maybe not, maybe Tim had noticed how Tom and y/n were so fragile, that would break easily. That’s the thing about Tom and y/n, they were both so scared of the outcome, of any pebble that could be thrown their way and would deter their relationship, that’s why they lived so fast because they both feared the end, they both feared they wouldn’t be strong enough for the bullets shot their way.
Maybe Tim knew that, and maybe Tim knew which pebbles to throw.
Cherry had once told Sam that Tim had been the one to convince y/n to change places with her. And Cherry had said she had been delighted with Tim. Which only brought him to the night before.
Tim had asked Cherry to stay the night at his place. Sam had heard him ask her. No, Tim had not asked in any wrong way, but in a friendly way because the girl had been destroyed.
However, Sam thought there was something fishy in all of the situation. Sam had a slight suspicion that this mess had to do with Tim. Cherry had asked him the night before how long Tim and y/n-Tim, not Tom, how long Timothee and y/n had been dating. Sam had said they weren’t. And they wouldn’t be. Had Tim said something to lead to this mess? Was he the reason why at midnight Tom’s and y/n’s fantasy shattered? Why had Tim asked Cherry to go to his place? Maybe he had to do something with it.
Or maybe Tim only loved y/n. And he had been so blinded by his own love that he hadn’t stopped to realize some things he’d done were wrong. But you can never really know what’s going on behind closed doors.
Harry had his door closed, and Sam wanted to ask his brother what exactly he was going through. Though, he knew he was not having a good time. That was no secret.
Sam knocked on the door.
Harry opened the door to watch his brother, Harry hadn’t slept and he was not breathing. He seemed to be trying to calm himself down, but Sam could tell he was angry. Very, very angry.
“Why did he fucking do it at the engagement party?” Harry asked Sam.
There it was, a conversation they had had millions of times, yet never truly acknowledging it had been the night everyone had burned.
Because Harry often avoided the question. Sam was also slightly angry at how they had had to forgive Tom because Tom was in love and because Tom’s heart had been shattered. But Tom’s drunken speech had led to all this mess and the pain still lingered for the family.
Maybe that’s why no one in the family was really telling anything to Tom, maybe that’s why they weren’t eager with Tom and y/n being together. But they would all stay quiet. Maybe the real reason why James had been reluctant to them was because they feared their battles would leave even more casualties.
No one really had stopped to think how their relationship had changed everyone’s situation, how y/n’s parents had barely talked to the Hollands. How James wouldn’t go out for drinks with the twins and that’s why they didn’t know how serious he was with Clark. How James had to keep his boyfriend out of the drama because he didn’t want his own relationship to get ruined. How Harry and Sam had lost their best friend. How Emma had to run to another country to get over her heartbreak. How Harry had lost the love of his life.
Everyone seemed too focused on how Tom and y/n were trying to get out of this one that everybody had simply forgotten everything they’d left behind. All the casualties.
Every single wallflower, all the weed flowers that had kept growing and had not had the chance to grow.
“I… why do they always have to do everything big? Like first, the engagement party, why did Tom choose to explode there? Why did y/n write a script like that? It’s obvious they both wanted to fail, it’s so-so obvious, and then? What did he do? He slept with her cousin, out of everyone, her cousin… And she slept with Tim!”
Y/n had slept with Tim. Yet another pebble thrown at trying to get Tom and y/n back into the woods. Sam could only try and wonder why y/n had let herself be fooled again, maybe it was a rebound but then again… Maybe Tim wasn’t really the problem, but maybe y/n still felt guilty for that proposal.
Sam remembered it.
“I will never forgive myself because I will never love him the way he loves me.”
Guilt, guilt often grows like poison ivy and covers you and tangles you until you cannot be able to step out of it. Maybe that was the reason why y/n couldn’t stay away from Tim, because Tim had been the one to make her feel loved, and yet she’d never loved him back the same way.
“… Oh my god, y/n knew she could’ve slept with anybody and Tom would’ve not cared but with it’s like she did it on purpose because they have to make everything big,” Harry continued. “And I’m… so tired of it….Like last night, why did that have to happen? They could’ve talked about it but neither did it because they had to wait until the bomb exploded and bring everyone down with them…. I couldn’t even think of my heartbreak because Y/N had it worse, no, I’m not blaming her but-” Harry sighed. “Yes, whatever they love each other but… But what about my own relationship? What about James’ relationship? Didn’t he fear this drama would push Clark away?”
Sam only listened.
“Why did--Why did we have to direct her script so he could make a big entrance and win her back? I knew this would jeopardize my relationship with Emma.”
Because this was always what happened with them. Even when they were enemies. Sam hated it. Always a big, big fight, argument, how they’d have to take sides and take turns to not have them at the same place, and when they were, they would always, always make it big.
“I don’t know,” Sam admitted.
Harry sighed. “And they don’t-even care, they just--Like I had to see Emma today and pick up y/n’s clothes and..that would ruin me and yet I did it, because both Tom and y/n are so fucking selfish and I don’t care-I genuinely couldn’t care less about their drama anymore, I come back and they had fucked, like-” Harry took a deep breath. “Oh my god, how do they fuck it up so badly? They’re only sabotaging themselves... And I don’t know and-why do we have to keep being dragged by their bullshit? If I have to listen to Tom complain about Tim one more fucking time…”
Sam didn’t blame anyone, honestly.
“And look, I don’t even know what the fuck they’re gonna come up with now, they’re so unpredictable and I don’t… If they break up I don’t want to listen to their rambling I… I just can’t sympathise with them anymore, I… No, I don’t mean that. I just… I need my time, too, you know? I need to be angry and I need to get it out and I need to cry it out because I’m-” His voice was breaking. “I’m not okay, I lost Emma, and I know-But oh my god, we couldn’t even come home because they were here fighting or fucking or I don’t even know.”
“Everything was easier when they hated each other,” Sam said. And he meant it. But Sam did try to stop and wonder, what would happen if they were apart?
Tom had changed. Sam had noticed, how sad his brother had turned and only a few days ago how he had a smile back on.
Harry scoffed. “I said that, too.”
“What are you going to do with Emma?” Sam asked, because he didn’t want to feed into the Tom and y/n situation, it would give him a headache.
“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged. “I… don’t know. I don’t know because… I am angry because my problem with her started because of Tom and y/n and--” Harry’s glance was glazing, but he was trying to stop himself.
“And I hate it because I should’ve called her but I didn’t because I had all these doubts and I… never got my own closure and I just had to deal with it and accept it because Tom this, y/n that and… I just want to… I want to get back to Emma but I don’t know if I could because Emma is friends with Tim and guess what? That would bring trouble and-”
Sam crossed his arms, listening.
“Or-or what if my friendship with y/n still bothers her? Even if she’s friends with her, and--I don’t even know, because she came here and I don’t know if she’d ever come back to London.”
Harry was shattering.
“I don’t even-know how to talk to her, she’s a stranger and I… I never thought that would ever happen, and she is just so cold and she…I hurt her so much she decided to move to an entire different country, you realize that? Maybe because she didn’t want to see me anymore, I don’t know what she wants,” Harry continued as he plopped on his bed. “And I don’t… No, I do, I do care she slept with someone else because I know she did it just to prove me a point, I know that she hates me now.”
Sam thought about it again, he didn’t think Emma hated Harry. No, she couldn’t.
A laugh was heard, and it was undeniably Tom’s, followed by a remark by y/n. Both twins turned their head to the door. Sam decided to close the door, he needed to listen to his brother, the other wallflower.
Harry had this curse, he was ivy, and he was white cloves. He knew Emma had loved it before but she probably cursed him for it now. Harry often made everything happy, and sometimes happiness is the toughest emotion to bear, Harry would spread his happiness everywhere he could go, but lately he couldn’t, there was barely any anticipation and his heart had felt numb and empty. As if the time when Emma had left, his heart had an indentation waiting to be filled by her.
“I love her, and I was supposed to love her for a lifetime and—“Harry said. “And… Maybe I wish I could…” He squinted. “Did you hear him? That was Tom, he was laughing, right?”
Sam bit his inner cheeks. “Yeah.”
“How long do you think that will last?” Harry sighed. “Even if it doesn’t. How-how does he do that?”
Sam only frowned.
“Do you think if I show up to Emma and just smile at her everything will be fixed?” Harry questioned and then laughed at the statement.
Harry was tired of not knowing what to do. And he was tired that he wanted to fix everything, but he felt that if he even tried to, everything would fall down. Inconspicuously, Harry had tried to go along his whole life without messing things up and that led him to where he was standing right now.
Harry sighed, “do you think they are going to sit us down and walk us through their decision?” Harry inquired.
Sam rolled his eyes, “I think you should focus back on Emma.”
“Right,” Harry sighed. “I just—It wasn’t only the—you know, I’ve been thinking, and my downfall with Emma wasn’t only from the engagement party. It had been something very crafted,” Harry explained, as he paced around the room. “I—I need a beer,” Harry said, as he finally opened the door to head to the kitchen, Sam followed after.
They saw James and Clark, confused, still at the living room, they had probably seen y/n and Tom walking in.
“Any heads up?” Harry asked them.
James looked up and made out a noise that could be translated into an ‘I don’t know.’
Harry rolled his eyes. He was tired. He didn’t want to deal with them.
“Where are they?” Sam asked.
“They—walked in—“Clark started.
“Ignored us,” James added.
Clark chuckled, “they went to the kitchen, and then went outside, they didn’t ignore us, they were just—“
“Too busy staring into each other’s eyes,” James chanted with sarcasm.
“They were talking,” Clark cleared up. “I think we shouldn’t—“
“No, I wasn’t planning to, I don’t care about them right now,” Harry said heading to the kitchen, he could get a glance of them by the window, they seemed calm, which honestly were good news. At least they didn’t have to hear them screaming.
Harry opened the fridge to get a beer, and then leaned against the counter. Sam double glanced at the couple outside and then grabbed a beer for himself.
“They… They were fighting before,” said Harry. “And apparently they slept together, again,” Harry rolled his eyes. “I don’t understand how they do it,” Harry groaned as he stared at the cold beer in his hand.
Sam crossed his arms, “Stop avoiding it and explain why your downfall with Emma was even before the engagement party.”
Harry rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “It was around the time, when I decided… Tim and I had both talked about it, alright? When he asked me about… Proposing to y/n,” Harry explained. “It was… “ Harry took a deep breath. “I think he was… the one to give me the idea,” Harry said.
The night Harry had decided he would marry Emma, he was so scared. Because he had been so sure for his entire life that he had been in love with y/n, when in reality it came no close to what he felt for Emma. He had been quiet about it.
Harry had once read we all fall in love with three people, the first time you ever love, you are young, it’s the first time you ever experience it, how silly it is to think of it. It feels so pure, and real and it’s incomprehensible, and looking back at it, you must think it wasn’t love. But it is, in its purest form because it’s so undeniably real and childish even. It’s the first time you encounter happiness. The time you learn to love.
Harry hadn’t been in love for all the time. He’d fallen out of love with her and fell back in love. The second time one falls in love is the one that breaks your heart. But they’re the person everyone expects you to love, the one flower that is pretty. The one that teaches lessons, the one that shows what pain is. You learn from it, what makes you grow, what doesn’t. Y/N had been the second one, too. The second love makes us learn what we love about love, good things, and what we don’t. This love is so powerful because it builds us, and we will often try and look back at it, because you might think it’s the one. And we can be blinded by their cold stare and try to fight for it, and though it brings a warm sunset, it’s not… It eventually dawns. The one when we learn about ourselves. The one that teaches us to love ourselves. The one before the one.
Then there’s the third one, the one you don’t expect, it hits without warning and one day you just… simply know it, and Harry had known it, so stupidly. It comes. The one that you don’t search for, the one that is just… right there for you, the one that you never thought you’d fall for. The one that tumbles down all of our walls because you can build a path together. It’s not who you usually like, it’s not like one of those crushes that you’ve had growing up, it brings the best of you. Because you find yourself in a field of all their flowers that have grown into your heart, and it’s beautiful, a dreamland. And you learn to love what you used to hate about love. It’s not the big flower, it’s the one flower you find along the way… the daisy.
That was Emma, all the flaws he loved, evergreen happiness even when everything might fall down. Covered with her, with those eyes that Harry wanted to see forever. So unexpected and now, he wanted her to be every book he read.
But he’d lost her.
“And I bought the ring,” Harry said. “But… Then I asked y/n what she thought,” Harry said. “Y/N was the one before the one,” he explained. “But we sometimes get confused, and… She told me not to marry Emma, and I doubted it. Because no one thought I should and I… I am here now hating myself because I tend to listen to everyone when all that mattered was I loved Emma, I still love her, and-”
Harry thought then, how ironic it was. Maybe that’s why Tom and y/n were out there talking, because it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. It was them who mattered and how they wished to go through it.
“I think I started doubting myself,” Harry said. “And then… it happened and…I lost her, I didn’t know because I was the fool who thought that y/n was the one… When, she never was, and I want to just… Jump to Emma and kiss her, just like they do it, so simply,” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’d sacrifice everything for Emma.”
Sam blew his cheeks. “Why don’t you, then?”
Harry glanced up, “What? Pull a Tom and just show up and kiss her?”
Sma shrugged. “Yeah. Why don’t you? I mean, it’s worth the shot.”
And it was, maybe it had been the fact that he’d seen Tom and y/n working it out despite everything. Despite being so different, despite having every wall, they were out there tumbling it down. And maybe that’s what led him to be standing behind that door, staring at the daisy he never thought he would ever love but couldn’t think he could live without. For once, Harry had no doubts, for once Harry did not want to be a wallflower everyone took for granted to spread happiness.
“I…” Harry was shaking. But it had to be done and it had to be said. “I… I love you.”
And that was the one outcome Emma had not expected from that whole day. But she gave in anyway, finally giving in to kiss him. And for the first time, she became the sunflower.
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FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!
aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!
Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women.
(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)
There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these.
Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)
I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music.
The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.
1) BULLY, SUGAREGG
Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney.
I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.
“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week
Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here.
TURN IT UP!
youtube
2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY
Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me
‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic
I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.
Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.”
(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)
This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!
youtube
3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM
“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music
“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!
youtube
4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE
It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)
Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other!
I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!
youtube
5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?
Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)
As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters.
I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL
“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.
I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power
I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow
So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too!
Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!
youtube
SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too.
And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.
Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.
Yr pal, Timmy
#me#new classics#classic rock#women in rock#best of 2020#bully#ganser#the tissues#gum country#nova twins#essay#youtube#punk rock#punk
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To Love Another | Timothee Chalamet
M A S T E R L I S T
slightly kinky/fluffy smut requests info wanna be on a Timmy taglist? click here
“You sure you’re okay with this?” Timothee asked for the hundredth time. In all honesty the answer was no. You absolutely were not okay with any other girl on him, even if it’s just for a movie. The thought of him being with anyone else sexually makes you feel positively sick to your stomach. But you smile as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.
“Yeah, it’s for a movie Tim. You’re just acting I know it doesn’t mean anything.” You reassure him and TImothee smiles before pressing a kiss to your forehead. You felt nauseous as he rolled over and flicked off the lamp. You were so graciously allowed to stay in his trailer with him on the set of ‘Beautiful Boy’ and tomorrow he would film his sex scene with Kaitlyn Dever. Timothee was an actor, it was all just acting. No feelings or emotions involved it was for a job. Logically you knew that but in your heart you felt your hands begin to tremble. Just imagining the scene made you feel dizzy with jealousy and insecurity. Maybe there were no feelings now but who’s to say Tim won’t feel something for her after the scene is over?
As his breathing steadies beside you, you slide out of bed. This trailer is feeling more and more suffocating by the second. You push out into the cool night air of Los Angeles, but that doesn’t do anything to relax the violent twisting of your stomach. You slide your cardigan over your shoulders as you walk along the rows of trailers, before sitting against the curb behind the studio. Taking your phone out you dial the number of the person you feel closest to besides Tim.
“Why are you awake?” You sister, Molly, groans after the 3rd ring. You’re silent as tears build behind your eyes and it only takes Molly a few seconds to figure out something’s wrong. “What’s going on squish?” Your older sister asks, using her childhood nickname for you. You release a deep breath as you sniffle pathetically into the phone. “Tim’s scene with Kaitlyn is tomorrow.” You choke through tears. You hear shuffling around as Molly clicks her lamp on, “Y/N does Tim know how upset you are?” Molly asks and you begin to feel incredibly guilty for waking her up. You would tell Tim but there’s no point because this scene is a part of the movie. They can’t just cut it out because Timothee Chalamet’s stupid girlfriend is uncomfortable about it. Plus telling him would only make him feel guilty, you want him to perform the best he can.
“What’s the point? There’s nothing he can do anyway.” You cry, your voice thick with tears as they cascade down your cheeks. You here Molly sigh softly, not out of annoyance she just feels so bad that you’re so upset. “Sweetheart you need to tell him it’s bothering you so much. I mean you know he’d never leave you.” She says and yeah logically you know that but you can’t stop the sickening feeling in your gut every time you think about tomorrow. You wipe away stray tears as you shake your head, “I can’t. I’ll be fine I just- I shouldn’t have called.” You cry, trying your best to hold back full sobs. This is so pathetic, you knew when he became an actor that he would have to do scenes like this. “No you can call me any hour you know that. Hun you’re being silly. I know it’s hard to see him like that with another girl, I remember how upset you were when he filmed ‘Call Me By Your Name’. Eventually you’ll have to tell him, he’s probably gonna have more scenes like this.” Molly says and you know she’s right.
Eventually you’re going to have to have this conversation with him, but you want to postpone laying that guilt on him for as long as you can. “Timothee loves you, more than anything. I know that because he’s always gushing over you- it get’s a little annoying actually. He adores you, he’d do anything for you.” Molly says and for a moment the deep nausea turning in your gut eases. She’s right, Tim loves you. He would never leave you, especially not because he wants a girl he filmed a sex scene with. “I’m alright now, thanks Molls. I’ll call you tomorrow okay?” You say as you hear her yawn.
“Yeah but only call me by your name.” Molly snickers and you roll your eyes playfully. “Hilarious pun.” You joke sarcastically. Soon you’re both saying goodnight and hanging up. You stand hesitantly from the curb and walk back to Timothee’s trailer. When you open the door you can hear his soft snoring, but his arm is feeling around where you were laying. “Baby?” You hear him mumble as you slide back into the bed next to him. Once you’re laying next to him again Tim immediately reaches over to pull you into his chest before falling back asleep. Your eyes don’t close however. You stare up into the dark ceiling feeling that anxious nausea building in your stomach again. Kaitlyn is going to have her hands on him tomorrow, and her lips. She’s going to feel his skin against hers, she’s going to feel his lips on hers. Tears sting at your eyes again as you roll to bury yourself in Tim’s chest.
The dreadful morning comes, and you’re stood behind the camera’s on set. You don’t technically have a reason to be here, but you assist the crew by fetching coffee or food for them. Plus Timothee is adorable and flashed that big smile at the director in order to get him to agree to you staying during filming. It helps that everyone that meets Tim falls in love with him, he’s very charismatic. Everyone falls in love with him, possibly even Kaitlyn. She’s sweet, she really is but you can’t help but hate her a little bit. You don’t want to because she’s an amazingly friendly person and you two actually hit it off pretty well before you learned she would be filming a sex scene with your boyfriend.
You sit in one of the crews members chairs as you watch Timothee prepare for the shower scene. He sends a wink your way and you muster your best smile for him, and it seems to satisfy him as he begins to run the lines to himself. You bite your lip to keep your emotions at bay as Kaitlyn comes into the set and then they’re waiting for the director to start the scene. The worst part is that this may take a few tries before the director is satisfied with the scene, so you’ll have to watch Tim pretend to have sex with Kaitlyn more than once. It feels like everything moves in slow motion for you once the director yells ‘action’. You watch as Kaitlyn starts the shower and enters under the water stream, with Tim not far behind her.
Soon Tim presses his hands to the wall of the shower and Kaitlyn turns to press her lips against his collarbones as he turns his face to hit the water. Your heart stops in your chest as tears build behind your eyes. “Kaitlyn, touch him more. Hands on his chest, down towards his waist. Don’t be afraid to touch him.” The director says before restarting the scene from where Tim enters the shower. The directors words are like fire in your chest, touch him more. You fight the urge to throw up once you watch Kaitlyn slide her hand down Tim’s chest towards his hips. Their lips connect as Tim turns them around to press Kaitlyn against the opposite wall of the shower. You close your eyes a tear blinks down your cheek as you watch Tim move against her, his soft groans stabbing your heart. Your breathing is shaky as you keep your eyes on the ground when the director stops them again. “Tim move against Kaitlyn more once you press her against the other wall, it needs to look passionate.” He says and Tim flashes him a thumbs up before they move to restart the scene again. You see Kaitlyn’s lips move as she says something to Timothee, causing him to laugh as they resume their positions.
You can’t take anymore and stand from the chair before silently exiting the set once you hear Tim groaning into her neck again. Once you gently shut the door behind you, you burst into a sob as you stumble towards Timothee’s trailer. Seeing him there, pressing her against the shower laughing at something she said. He’s in love with her, there’s no way he’s not. She’s absolutely perfect and you’re well...you. You’re not a celebrity, you’re not good at anything all you do is mooch off Tim’s success. Kaitlyn is a talented actress, they’d be perfect for each other. You walk briskly, wiping your tears as you make a beeline for the trailer. On your way you accidentally bump into Steve Carell, coming out of his own trailer. “Woah, Y/N are you alright?” He asks, concern forming in his eyes and you nod quickly. You wipe your tears, “y-yeah fine!” You stammer through sobs as you brush past him and continue your way to the trailer.
Steve pinches his eyebrows together as he watches you stumble into your trailer, before setting off for the studio to find Tim. Once he pushes into the set, Timothee’s scene is about over and he’s laughing with the crew not having yet realized that you’ve left. “Tim can I talk to you real quick?” Steve says, his eyes glancing around the people standing around Timothee. Tim nods instantly, bidding the others goodbye as he steps away from them. “Is Y/N okay?” He asks and Tim’s eyes move to the spot he last saw you. When he notices the chair is absent his eyes flutter around the room trying to spot you. “Because I saw her crying as she went to your trailer.” Steve says, clapping a hand against Tim’s back as he moves to get wardrobe and makeup done for his upcoming scene.
Anxiety pulses in his chest as he looks for the director. Crying? Why are you crying? Did he do something? Has he said something? Did he forget anything? Today isn’t a birthday or an anniversary, what on Earth did he do to upset you? “Uh can I take 10 real quick?” He asks the director who nods and as soon as he does, Tim is out the door. He’s briskly walking to his trailer, his heart ready to burst out of his chest with every step. Has someone died? Are you sick? Did you hurt yourself? What’s going on, why are you crying?
When he pushes the door to his trailer open he hears your quiet sobbing and his anxiety is sent into overdrive. “Baby?” Tim says immediately rushing to you on the bed. Your hands cover your face as you try to desperately wipe away your tears, but you know he’s already seen them. “I’m fine, you should get back.” You stammer, your voice thick and broken with unshed tears. Tim shakes his head as he pulls your hands away from your face and his heart breaks upon seeing your puffy eyes and tears stained cheeks. “What’s wrong? Baby talk to me, whatever I did I’m sorry.” Tim stammers, his eyes clouded in concern as he cups your cheeks in his hands. Using his thumbs to brush away falling tears you continue to sit and cry and he doesn’t know how to make this better.
“Y/N please, baby talk to me.” Tim pleads you, tears beginning to well in his own eyes. What has he done? He wants more than anything for you to just talk to him. “I love you, whatever I did I’ll fix it. I’ll make it right.” Tim begs on his knees in front of you. You laugh bitterly, wiping away tears. You know it’s not his fault, you know he was just doing his job but right now all your pain is being directed at him. “You can’t! So just go back and keep grinding against Kaitlyn!” You cry out, pushing him away from you as you slide to the center of the bed. Tim’s eyes widen in disbelief, “baby is this about the sex scene?” He asks gently, still trying to reach out and hold you. You cry into your palms as you feel the bed dip in front of you. Tim once again pulls your hands away from your face and holds your chin to look you in the eyes.
“Baby, that was just a scene. Kaitlyn and I are just friends, it was nothing. I was acting, everything I did and all the sounds I made were a part of the scene. I promise.” Tim explains desperately, and you fall silent as tears fall down your cheeks. You look up into his eyes, seeing the worry and pain written on his features softens your anger. “Baby, I love you. Only you. I only want you, I only want to make you feel good. I only want you to make me feel good.” Tim promises as he takes your hands in his and you let him. He presses his forehead against yours, “I love you and only you. I have never wanted Kaitlyn, I can only get through those scenes by thinking of you.” He admits and your eyes open. Tim presses his lips against yours, his hair and clothes still soaking wet from the shower. “I love you Timmy.” You whisper as you hold his hands tightly.
Tim pulls away from you before standing, “I need to finish filming, but baby I promise I’m gonna make it up to you when I get back.” He says as he heads to the door of the trailer, you smile genuinely as you watch him go. “I love you!” He calls as he shuts the door, leaving you sitting on the bed alone. The anxious nausea as dissipated as you lay back against the mattress. You don’t know what came over you, you know Timothee loves you. He’s never given you a reason to doubt him, you feel guilty for questioning him. You let out a sigh as you close your eyes, feeling much better now that he’s reassured you. You know that when Tim gets back you’re going to have to have that conversation with him that you’ve been postponing. You feel drowsiness creeping up on you from the lack of sleep you got last night and soon you’re asleep on the mattress.
Later that evening when Tim enters the trailer again, he sees you sleeping peacefully on the bed. He smiles to himself, but his joy seeing you is short lived when he remembers your fight from earlier this afternoon. It hurts him that you could think he’s capable of hurting you in that way. Don’t you know how much he adores you? Don’t you know how much you mean to him? He kicks his shoes off and tiredly walks over to the bed. Timothee leans down on the bed, his hands coming up to find the waistband of your shorts. If you don’t believe how loyal and committed he is to you, he’ll just have to show you instead. He carefully peels your shorts down your legs, pausing when you shift in your sleep.
“Naughty girl,” Timothee whispers to himself when he sees your lack of panties as he’s met with your bare pussy. He very carefully pushes your thighs apart enough to fit between them. Timothee blows cool air over your core, causing you to gasp in your sleep. Once you’ve settled back into a deeper sleep Tim leans up and presses a chaste kiss to your clit, and your mouth falls open. He licks from your entrance all the way to your clit, and your eyes fly open when his lips latch around your sensitive bundle of nerves. “G-God Timmy,” You moan as he continues to lick and gently bite at you. Your hands wind into his hair as you pull his face closer to your center. Timothee hums against you as his arms come up to push your hips back to the bed.
“Fuck,” you breathe as you throw your head back when Timothee reaches up to slide 2 fingers into you. His eyes meet yours as he quickly pumps his fingers and keeps rolling his tongue against your clit. You cry out as your back arches again and as you feel the coil winding in your stomach, he pulls away. “Timothee!” You groan in sexual frustration, still trying to clear your brain from sleep. His lips and chin are wet as he crawls up your body, “you really think I want anyone else?” Tim hums lowly, an air of dominance to him as he watches you intently. You fall silent as he gently pushes you to lay back on the bed, with him hovering above you. Timothee grinds his hardening cock against you, causing you to arch your hips up into his with a needy whine. “You think Kaitlyn could get me hard like this?” He breathes into the shell of your air sending goosebumps down your arms.
You stay silent as Timothee dips his head to press his lips to yours. The kiss is slow and passionate as your arms come up to wrap around his shoulders tightly. When he pulls away, his forehead is pressed against yours. “How many times do I need to prove to you that this cock belongs to you for you to finally believe it?” Timothee groans as his hands find the hem of your shirt. You nibble at your lip as you stay quiet, leaning forward slightly as Tim pulls the shirt over your head. His pupils widen when he sees your bare breasts and instantly he’s leaning down to bring a nipple into his mouth. Your fingers wind into his hair at the back of his hair as you moan breathlessly, “I get so scared of losing you.” You admit in a whisper as his teeth gently bite down on you.
Tim brings his head up to look into your eyes, “you never will. Don’t you see that?” He asks you, his eyes gentle but sad. You press your lips to his again before you’re pushing Timothee to his back. You swing your legs over his waist as you reach down to unbutton his jeans. When you yank the zipper down you reach your hand into his jeans and pull him out his pants. You lean over him and take him into your mouth. Timothee hisses as his hands immediately wind through your hair. You relax your throat as you take him as far as you can and he’s gasping when your nose is touching his pubic bone. “No one could suck me off the way you do baby,” Timothee praises as you begin to bob your head slowly along his cock. When you glance up to make eye contact with him he groans, his right hand stroking your cheek lovingly.
“Fuck, baby you gotta stop or I’m gonna come.” Timothee groans as he gently pulls you off him after you hollow your cheeks. In one swift moment he’s yanking his shirt over his head and leaning back against the headboard. He places his hands on your waist to flip you over but you push him back against the headboard. “I wanna ride your cock baby.” You whisper as you press a kiss to his throat. Tim groans as he watches you lean up to line him up with your entrance. You place his head against your slick folds before slowly sliding down onto him until you’re sitting on his hips. You moan softly at the feeling and Timothee’s hands grasp at your hips. You lean forward to press your lips to his as he lifts your hips. You begin to rock against him, panting into his mouth. “Fuck baby you feel so good around me.” Tim hums against your lips as his hands help you keep a steady pace.
You rest your forehead against his with your eyes closed as you moan softly. You continue to gently ride him, feeling the heat building in your stomach. “I love you.” Tim whispers as lips brush over yours. Your hands grasp at his shoulders when he begins to snap his hips up to meet yours. “I love you baby,” You cry out just as his thumb moves to rub slow circles over your clit. Tim’s hands slide around your waist as he rolls you over. He pushes into you with his face buried in your neck. You press kisses to his shoulder and neck as you moan, “fuck baby I’m gonna come.” Timothee moves faster, causing electricity to erupt inside you as you begin to cry out against his skin. With one last snap of his hips you’re squeezing around him and pushing your chest up against his as you come. Timothee fucks you through your orgasm as he stutters before he comes inside you.
Your skin is sweaty as you stay intertwined with him, breathing heavily. His face is still pressed into the crook of your neck as he slowly pulls out of you. You immediately miss the feeling of him filling you as he rolls to his back. You slide across the bed to snuggle into his chest. Tim’s arm curls around you and his hand rubs up and down your arm. “I’m sorry.” You whisper into the silence and he presses a kiss to your head. Tim squeezes you tighter, “I know. I just- why don’t you have faith in me?” He asks sadly, breaking your heart. You bite your lip as tears build behind your eyes, “it’s not you I don’t have faith in Tim, it’s me.” You whisper as tears fall down your cheeks. Timothee sits up, pulling you with him so that he can turn you to look at him. “I’m not enough. I’m not talented, or- or pretty. There are models that throw themselves at you, and you’re stuck with me so I wouldn’t blame you if you... if you-” You’re cut off by tears and Tim immediately cradles your head against his chest.
“How could you think any of that? How could you think you’re not enough for me? That you’re not pretty enough, or talented enough?” Timothee says, his voice breaking as tears build in his own eyes. You stay silent as tears cascade down your cheeks. “I haven’t been good enough to you. If you truly believe I would be better with someone else then I’ve done a terrible job at loving you.” Tim says softly, and you can hear the pain thick in his voice as he holds you tightly to him. Your arms pull him closer to you, “Timmy don’t say that. You’re far more than I deserve.” You argue weakly, and he presses his head against yours. Your noses brush together, “I’m going to spend every second of the rest of my life showing you how perfect you are for me.” Timothee promises against your lips. You love this man with everything in you, losing him sounds worse than any hell you could live in. “I know.” You smile, before kissing him again.
#timothee chalamet smut#timothee chalamet#timothee chalamet x reader#timmy chalamet#timothée chalamet imagine#timmy chalamet imagine#smut#beautiful boy#on set smut#lil timmy tim
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You get this a lot but can you do a Yandere Tom Nook X Reader, With Tom trying to comfort a recently ‘broken up’ with (Tomtotallydidntscareaway) reader? Sorry that It’s so specific lmao
Before I start let me just say. Anon, that’s not a specific request at all. You should see some of my requests lol. But anyways, this fic gets....special towards the end. Nothing actually happens but it’s a little suggestive so if that’s not your cup of tea then I wouldn’t suggest this one.
Yandere Tom X Reader
Closer
Pain. All you felt right now was pain. You were curled up on your bed, hugging your knees against your chest. You wanted to shrink down and implode, leaving this cruel world behind. You hated this, it hurt more than any wound. This was a wound to your heart, and you didn’t think it could ever heal. This is what you had been doing for the past two days. Cowering in your own bed only to cry your eyes out and needing to drink more water. For these past two days it felt like all you did was cry. Eating breakfast? Crying. Showering? Crying. Watching tv? Crying. You felt so lost, so helpless. What were you without him? You didn’t ever want to leave your house. What would the others say if they found you like this? Thinking about it only made you more sad, to think how they would be shocked then probably run up to you and give you a big hug. They’re are so sweet. Isabelle would probably give you a big embrace before taking you to the residential services where she’d make you tea and tell you it was gonna be okay. Thinking about it almost made you want to leave, but you couldn’t. You didn’t even have the energy to leave bed. You wished he was here to hug you, to tell you everything was gonna be okay...your Jamie....
Your silent room was filled with noice as you heard knocking on your door. You did nothing to open it but the knocking just continued. After a while you dragged yourself up, blanket still resting on your shoulders and engulfing you in a big shell of warmth and comfort against the coldness around you. You slowly made your way to the door, your feet dragging behind you in a sluggish manner. Opening the door slightly, just a creak so you could see who was there. It was the one and only Tom Nook. He looked at you with concern yet relief that you answered the door.
“Y/N? Are you okay sweetie?” He asked, slowly reaching his hand to you. He started to gently caress your arm all while looking at you. It felt...nice. You just wanted to drag him inside and give him a hug. “I heard about...about what happened. I’m very sorry about your boyfriend. May I come in?” He asked. You stayed silent for a few seconds. Your house was a mess and the state of you weren’t very pretty either. But it’s Tom. You knew him, you also knew that he wouldn’t judge you. So you opened the door and stepped inside to let him come in. He looked around the room as he entered. All blinds were closed, sealing the room in complete darkness. Pillows from the couch were spread all over the room and there were old dishes here and there. “Sorry for the mess...” you said as you closed the door behind him. “Oh don’t worry about it. Trust me, as a person who’s had their heart broken, I know it takes a toll on you.” Tom said nonchalantly as he picked up one pillow, fluffing it up a little. “Wait what?” “No no, we’re here for you now, not for me okay?” Tom said before the question could even leave your mouth. “Now, what I want you to do is go upstairs and take a nice long bath. Add bubbles, bath bombs, anything you want. Just relax and treat yourself. I’ll be here cleaning up.” This caught you off guard. “Huh? No I-I can’t do that. I mean leaving you to clean up MY mess while I get to relax? It wouldn’t feel right.” You tried to insist but Tom was practically pushing you upstairs. “Y/N I insist. I have two small boys at home, you should see the messes they make. This is nothing I assure you.” And so, you finally agreed. You went up to your bathroom and took a nice long bath. Trying to relax while taking deep breaths. You even poured some bubbles in the bathtub and after relaxing for a bit decided to start playing with them a little. Bouncing one foam ball from one hand into the other. You sat there for a while. Letting your worries melt away. You didn’t know why, but the thought of Tom distracted you from the thought of....him.
Walking down the stairs you saw that Tom really did clean up the entire house. He had lifted up the blinds, fluffed the pillows, placed everything neatly in order, even the dishes were gone. Looking walking into the kitchen you saw Tom putting down the final plate Into one of the cabinets. He had done the dishes. You felt yourself let out a sigh of amazement. This alerted Tom and caused him to turn around swiftly. Seeing that it was you he let his guard down. “Oh Y/N! There you are! Was the bath nice?” He asked. But you didn’t answer. You simply looked at him with love in your eyes. “Y/N? Is something wro-“ you ran up to him and embraced him tightly. Burying your face into his neck. As soon as you ran into his arms, he wrapped them around you. He nuzzled into your hair, and at that moment, everything felt perfect. “Thank you Tom...thank you thank you thank you!” You felt Toms chest vibrate at this as he let out a deep chuckle. “Oh Y/N, it was really no big deal. I’m happy to help you, any time.”
“So, what movie do you wanna watch?” You asked while rummaging through your old dvds, trying to find what movie to watch. “Umm, what movies do you have?” Tom asked you, sitting on your bed cross legged. “Oh well I have pirates of the Caribbean, spy kids, my neighbour- MY NEIGHBOUR TOTORO! Oh my god I had forgotten about this movie! Can we please watch this one?” You turned around to look at him, giving a big smile. Tom laughed slightly as your eyes became enormous with glee. “Alright then. I think I’ve watched this one time with Timmy and Tommy, but I fell asleep. Not to say that it’s bad I was just tired.” Tom said sheepishly, only realising halfway through the sentence that you might have taken his comment in the wrong way. But you simply laughed a little, putting the disk into the DVD player and plopping down next to Tom. “For real? Looks like you’re really getting the hang of this dad thing huh? Falling asleep on the couch as you’re watching a movie is integral to becoming a father!” You said jokingly as you nudged him slightly with your elbow. And so, you picked up the remote and played the movie. Throughout the duration of the movie, you and Tom scooted closer and closer together until your hands brushed against each other. Tom looked at your hand. He could feel an intense itch through his whole body. He wanted to grab your hand so badly but...should he? You’ve just been broken up with, he didn’t want to overwhelm you or make you uncomfortable. What if you didn’t appreciate it? What if you pulled away immediately? What if you scooted away from him and the air would grow heavy? What if-
But Tom wasn’t able to continue doubting himself as he felt a soft hand place itself on top of his. He could feel his heart speed up as he looked done at his hand. You were currently using your thumb to caress the side of his palm. As he looked up to you he was met by two eyes looking at him with a certain tender way. As he made eye contact with you he felt a slight blush creep onto his cheeks. Should he? And so, he gently grabbed your hand. And as he did this, you leaned your head against his shoulder, almost melting into the touch. After a few seconds of panic, Tom also leaned his head against your head, a million thoughts racing through his mind. But the most prominent being you, how soft your hair felt, how nice your hand in his felt, how good you smelled, how perfect you felt with him. Like you belonged here, here in his arms, away from the world. He didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to depart from you. Like if he let go you would slip away from him or something. He didn’t even pay attention to the movie. All he could think of was you, you, you. How much he wanted you, how much he NEEDED you! How much happier you would be with him rather than with that lowlife you called your “boyfriend”. Well not any more. Tom was going to make sure that imbecile never got close to you again. But for now, he wanted to stay like this. Holding onto your hand as you rested on each other. Sadly, he couldn’t stay like that forever. The movie did eventually end. And so, did your embrace.
You rose up and stretched your body, letting out a small grunt as you did. “That was great! What did you think?” You asked him. At this point Tom felt a small rush of panic flow through his body. But luckily, he was able to hide it. “It was a very cute film yes, yes! I certainly understand why you like it so much.” He said as he gave you a smile. A smile which you returned. Oh how cute you looked when you smiled. Tom wanted that smile all to himself. He didn’t want anyone else to see it. “We should do this more often. It was really nice. Thank you for taking my mind off....Jamie....” as you said his name your voice became meek and barely audible. It felt as if all the sadness that had gone away suddenly flushed over you like a tsunami. “We....we used to have movie nights on Fridays....he would always suggest such good movies and I....I....” your eyes started to sting as your vision got blurry. Tom was quick to notice this and swiftly pulled you into his arms. “Oh honey...” you started to cry. You cried on Toms shoulder as he stroked your hair all while whispering small coos and words of comfort. “Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay. It’s alright.” You let out hiccups and sniffles as the tears kept flowing. “...I’m...I’m sorry.” You said as you started to shake. “Don’t apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong my dear.” “I’m making you sit here and- and listen to all my personal problems! It’s- it’s not okay!” You didn’t want to be so weak in front of him. You knew he wouldn’t judge. He was the last person to judge you. But you still felt so...pathetic. “Y/N. It’s okay to cry. It’s how we deal with things like this. If we hold it back, we’ll just end up more hurt in the long run. So please. Let yourself cry. It’s not bad or weak. It’s how almost everyone deals with being hurt.” What he said was the truth. You knew that it was the truth. But hearing Tom say it. It was like a confirmation. And so, you let your tears flow. You sat there in Toms arms for what felt like hours. Crying and crying until the tears ran out. At that point you were still shivering and gasping for air.
Tom departed from you, holding your shoulders and making you look at him in the eyes. “Now Y/N, I want you to know. That if that guy left you, he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. Because you are a smart, wonderful, fun and beautiful/handsome/stylish girl/boy/person. And frankly, if he can’t see that, then he’s not worth your time. Anyone would kill to be with you. And if he’s to blind to realise what’s in front of him, then that’s his problem and not yours.” Tom said to you, never breaking eye contact. His eyes were stern and yet his grip was soft. He used one of his hands to wipe away any remaining tears that were still on your face. The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds. Both feeling drawn to each other. Soon, you both slowly started to lean towards each other. Both very unsure what to do. As your noses were mere centimetres from each other, Toms eyes felt heavier. He leaned closer and...no...no this wasn’t right. He let go and pulled back. Feeling disgusted with himself that he would ever do something like that. You were emotionally vulnerable right now. He couldn’t take advantage of that. No matter if his intentions were pure or not.
“I’m...I’m so sorry Y/N. That- that was inappropriate of me. I didn’t mean- I just- I’m so-“ but just like before, he couldn’t doubt himself any more as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and connected the space between you. Sealing your lips together. Tom felt his heart practically explode as you did this and it didn’t take long for him to kiss you back. Wrapping himself around you as his ears puffed up. This. This was the point of no return. You’ve burned any and all bridges that were connected to you two being just friends. There had always been a certain tension between you two. But now? Now all that tension was releasing. And there was nothing stopping it. Toms grasp on you was tight. Like he wasn’t gonna let you go in a million years. You managed to do something to him that not many people could do. You brought out his animalistic instincts. He wanted to protect you. Be with you. Make you his. He thought that what he did to your past boyfriend was the thing that broke out his inner animal. But this? As he held onto you, he felt that animalistic feeling but ten times stronger. He couldn’t hold it back. He wouldn’t hold it back. He felt his hands start to trail up and down your body. But before he could do anything else he managed to stop himself long enough to break the kiss. He looked at you, his eyes intense. You had never seen him like this before. But the look in his eyes told you exactly what he was thinking. And so, with a small smile. You nodded. And all hell broke loose in Toms mind. He didn’t wait for one more second. He pulled you down to the bed with him. The two of you continued where you left off. Tom knew he could come off as intimidating, but he was gonna be as careful as he possibly could. You lied on your back, looking up at him. Tom took his hand and placed it on top of yours. This was happening. Tom was gonna make you his.
His darling. His mate. His Y/N.
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So yeah....sorry to the anon if you wanted this to be fluffy, my caveman brain took over lol. But man. My first suggestive fic. Everyday I get one step closer to writing Tom Nook in heat (I’m kidding).
#acnh#animal crossing#yandere#yandere animal crossing#yandere acnh#animal crossing x reader#ac x reader#tom nook#tom nook x reader#yandere tom nook#suggestive#tw yandere#tw suggestive#y/n is a furry
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Exile: Five Whole Minutes
Previous: Breaking Branches
Pairing: Timotheé Chalamet x Reader
Genre: Angst, Slice of Life
Rating: PG15
Word Count: 1.8K
Warnings: Swearing
Summary: Timothée’s crossed the line... now what?
Exile Master List
She left a kiss on his cheek as she ran down the stairs and out to the garage. She knew he’d remember her 10:30 workout, a Saturday staple, but she texted to remind him that today she had brunch with a few friends. She delicately wrote a note, which she set next to a freshly filled glass with water before setting it on the bathroom counter, ibuprofen next to it. She knew he would be dehydrated when he awoke, not only from their intimacy the previous night, but from the copious amounts of alcohol they drank.
Timothée had begun shipping a few boxes home from vineyards and distilleries that he’d enjoyed while filming, often holes in the wall that had no Yelp review, often small family owned places. He’d send a case to his parents, one to his agent and manager, and one home. She loved that he brought home specialty liquor, particularly because it made their bar a little gauche and allowed her to feign any understanding of the complexities of alcohol. She preferred prosecco, preferably under $15 and easily accessible in her local grocery stores liquor aisle.
Timothée was a connoisseur, a wannabe sommelier. He had an impeccable palate, which always terrified her when out at restaurants or catching a drink on a Thursday, unsure what to order. She often deferred to him, leaning on his expertise. At first, he thought it was charming, he liked that she wanted him to pick it out. In reality, she was avoiding looking like an idiot in front of a man she liked so much so quickly. Eventually she shared her insecurity, and the next time they were out, he asked if she wanted him to order for her, and since then, he had taught her a lot about alcohol, about making drinks, about which wines paired with what. In her heart, she didn’t care, but she felt more confident every time they went out.
They loved sharing nights over a new acquisition. But it could also be their downfall. Last night they had tasted three different bottles of vodka, sipping slowly on their drinks while they caught up and made out.
Timothée had returned on Tuesday from filming. Much like his other projects, he was completely burned out. Yes, set tended to have a lot of downtime, but Timothée was a pro, and he knew that the last two weeks were often the most grueling. Filming all hours, getting shots and different takes and angles on every scene. His body was physically worn down, and his mind had tried to separate himself from the incident two months prior. The minute he got to their house, she was waiting with a scalding bath, the perfect balance of Epsom salts and lavender. She knew him so well and slowly undressed him and herself, languidly moving into their tub. The music was low, the lights were dimmed, and they sat together, skin pruning, reacquainting themselves with the intimacy they had missed.
She’d made dinner and they ate in comfortable silence. Then, she gave him a melatonin gummy and he passed out at 8PM.
There was nothing like falling asleep in your own bed, in your own house, with the person you love, after being away for three months. His accommodations abroad were always nice, often over the top for him. He took it upon himself to become friends with the staff, to say hello to every member he saw, and he took his politeness very seriously, particularly in a country where he didn’t speak the language. But his own sheets… waking up to her … his own bathroom with the perfect water pressure … and a closet where his clothes were put away correctly, where laundry was done when he wanted it to be when, where he could cook any time of day. Their house was home, whether it was this estate or the flat in New York.
He fell asleep quickly and awoke early afternoon to find her gone to work, but his favorite pastries from their local bakery waiting for him. Upon her return she found him doing laundry and making space for his new purchases. He left a surprise for her on the top of the counter in their closet, knowing she’d find it when she came up to change.
“Babe, what’s this?” She asked, carrying the bag into the laundry room.
“It’s a gift,” He said, folding the stack of t-shirts.
“You didn’t have to,”
“I wanted to,”
“Tim, this isn’t because you feel-
“No, it’s because I saw it and I thought you would like it. I like to buy you things while I’m gone,” He said shrugging.
“I really like it,” She said, holding the bag tight to her chest.
“I’m glad,” He stopped folding to take her in. She was still in her professional attire, hair pulled back and dangling earrings still in. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you, I had an important meeting this afternoon,” She looked up from the bag and caught him staring.
“That’s a good color on you,” He said, moving towards her to rest his hands on her hips. She’d missed his touch and shivered at the contact.
“Thank you,” She whispered, eyes darting from his lips to his eyes. He mimicked the movement and leaned in to kiss her. She turned her head. “I need to change.”
She turned on her heels and walked back to their closet, silently screaming.
Timothée didn’t protest or pry, he knew why she’d pulled away. Perhaps after dinner they would talk, air things out. She was often hesitant to be intimate when he returned, unsure who he’d been with… the fact that she knew, the fact that she’d spent Friendsgiving at her house and had invited her to movie nights made it worse. Maybe she needed more time.
Which is how they ended up drunk and having sex in various places in their home all Friday afternoon, evening and night. There was something in the liquor that loosened her up, and something in how he looked and spoke to her that reminded her how much he loves her. It was also because of the alcohol that they had officially ended their open relationship, deciding monogamy was what they both wanted. The incident with Florence had caused them to reevaluate their relationship. Wasn’t that the point of a relationship? To grow and challenge one another, and at the end of the day, make decisions together? It was on that note that they had made love most of Friday, and why he was sleeping until eleven on Saturday.
Timothée was awoken by his phone ringing and loudly vibrating off the nightstand. Jolted from his dreamless slumber, he quickly reached for it and furrowed his eyebrows at the caller ID.
“Hello?” He growled softly as he cleared his throat.
“Hey Timmy, can we meet for coffee? I have something I need to talk to you about,” Florence said.
“Oh, yeah. Sure. When?”
“Can you do 30 minutes?”
“Uh, yeah, yeah, where?”
“Do you want to just come here?” She asked.
“Sure, see you in 30 minutes,” He hung up the phone before jumping out of bed. He made the bed quickly, and thankfully tossed back the water and ibuprofen left for him. He scanned the note while he brushed his teeth. He slipped a baseball cap over his curls and slid into his favorite trainers. He hopped into his car, grateful that she was kind enough to put gas in it and drove off.
It was three hours later when he heard the garage door open. He tried to wipe the snot from his face. He wondered if he washed his face quickly, would it make a difference?
She came in through the garage, singing. As the door shut behind her, she was stopped by how quiet it was. Their home was never quiet, particularly in LA, where they often played music or podcasts throughout the house. As she paused, she listened, where was he?
“Tim? Timothée?” She called moving through the kitchen. “Babe, where are you?” It was then that she heard a sniffle from the living room. She turned down the hallway and beelined for the space.
She stopped dead in her tracks as she took in the sight in front of her. His eyes were swollen and puffed. A pile of tissues sat on the coffee table, the box flipped on its side, no tissues left. His hat was long forgotten, the pile of tissues starting to form a dome on top of it. His curls were blown from his hands running through and tugging them. He glances at her through swollen eye lids.
“Babe what’s wrong?” She asked, rushing to his side. He engulfed her into his arms, tears falling onto the exposed skin of her neck and shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He sobbed.
“Tim, what’s going on?” She questioned, still holding him.
“I’m so sorry,” He cried.
“Tim, you’re starting to scare me. What’s wrong?”
“Florence called, she wanted to have coffee,”
Her mind began racing. She called today, she knew of their arrangement, had she decided she wanted more from Timothée? Had he slept with her, a day after they had decided to be monogamous? Had she called to say she gave him HIV or Chlamydia? Was she dying?
“Okay, and?” She whispered, bracing for the hit.
“She’s, she’s pregnant, and it’s mine, and she’s keeping it,” He tried to breathe, to inhale the air she’s exhaling, but she was rigid.
“What?” She asked. She could feel her entire body going cold, her eyes filling with tears.
“Florence… She wanted to get coffee and she told me,” He said. He sounded like a teenager who had had sex for the first time and gotten his girlfriend pregnant at Christian Summer Camp. Like his entire life was over, like his future was ruined. His voice was already pleading, though he didn’t know for what.
“She’s pregnant?” She whispered.
“Yes,” He said.
“And it’s?” She asked.
“Mine.” His voice cracked. “She wanted me to know and said we could talk about how involved I wanted to be. I have to think about it! I, I’m going to be a -
“Okay,” She said, arms dropping to her sides. Her tone was hollow. “I’m um, congrats. I’m going to ...”
She stalled, brain trying to work in overdrive to compensate for the sludge it was peddling through. She decided on her next action before running up the stairs. At first, he thought she was slamming the door to tell him to stay away. But then she came down the stairs, large suitcase packed. She didn’t stop to talk. She didn’t stop to listen to him. She didn’t stop to console him or offer him support. She didn’t stop as he called her name, as he followed her to the garage. She didn’t stop as she watched him fall to the floor in the space her car once was. She didn’t stop as she drove away from the house and the life they shared. He didn’t stop calling after her, even after his knees hit the concrete, the snot and tears mixing on his tongue as he tried to will her back.
Next: My Town
#timothee x reader#timothee x you#timothee chalamet#actor#RPF#actor RPF#established relationship#couple#exile#Florence Pugh#Love#dating#heartbreak
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Back to You | 13
Summary: He broke your heart, but you’d always love him. Two souls that not even the universe could tear apart, even if you wanted it to at times.
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader x Timothee Chalamet
A/N: Yay I updated! I hope you guys like this one, I was stuck for a bit there but once I sat down and got to typing, I really finished it in one sitting. I was just planning on updating it bit by bit lol. Let me know what you guys think, Love you!!!!!!
Word count: 2,591
Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13
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You were in the car with Troye, it had been a few months since you came back home from Italy, and by home you meant your shared apartment with Troye in LA. Now you were out looking for a dress to wear to the premiere for Celia. You’d tricked your manager to think that you’ve been sick the past week but it was like Troye had a no Bullshit radar. The second he stepped into your shared apartment last night from his trip to Australia he knew you were pretending to be sick so you could miss the premier.
Troye pulls down his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose, giving you a side eye as you glared at him, “Sweetie, don’t give me that look.” he rolls his eyes, “I thought everything was going great? You agreed to release that album you’d been holding onto for who even knows how long anymore. You and Timothee kissed-” You wince at the sound of his name, “Troye…”
He groans, “No! Tell me you didn’t ghost Timothee Chalamet, you asshole!”
You put your hands up in defense, “In my defense, I did not ghost him. He’s filming a movie, he’s off his phone because he’s focusing on the movie and-adn well, he’s starring in the movie with Lily-Rose Depp, he’ll forget about me.” You try to reason, finally opening up your insecurity to your best friend who probably already knew from the beginning.
His grip on the steering wheel gets tighter, “So what? You tell me you let Tom go, a week later news breaks that’s he’s dating Zendaya which by the way makes him a fucking asshole. Now you’re back to being this insecure girl who thinks some pretty french girl can steal this guy who’s like practically head over heels for you?” He pauses from his rant, “What are you two even?”
You shrug, "Which is why this situation is perfect. I have a chance to think things over and so does he… in case he realizes he made a big mistake. I don't know what we are, I mean, we just kind of agreed that we both like each other."
He groans, parking the car, "You two are cute you know? Like I want to bash your heads together cute because nobody will take the first step."
You hop out the car, slamming the door as cameras rush to your presence. Troye's hand on your back guides you through as he insults the paparazzi for hounding celebrities as their day jobs.
He passes by the aisles of clother, already picking something out for himself while ylu see a few pretty numbers tp buy for everyday use, "You are perfect, Y/N. Just like fucking insecure." He trails behind you, which you don't need to be, might I mention." He hands you a dress, pushing you to the dressing room, "I thought you might want to emulate her character so I thought this would be perfect."
You rolled your eyes, "At least Timothee won't be at the premier tonight." You sigh in relief, "He would never abandon filming just to go to some premiere. So that's one less person I have to worry about."
Troye gapes at you, "Oh honey, if you were anyone but you, I would agree, but I already know you're worrying about the fact that he's off in some european country with Lily."
You bit off a dry piece off of your bottom lip, as you changed, keeping silent because both you and Troye knew that what he was saying was right.
He sighs, “Look Y/N, at the end of the day all that matters is, is he someone you see yourself with? And if he is, then why the hell would you throw that away? Or even let anyone take from you? You need to boss the fuck up and I’m sorry if I’m hurting your feelings but I am so done with you being and feeling so sorry for yourself when you know you deserve better but aren’t taking it when it’s being handed to you.”
You open the door with a heave, “Because it feels like I don’t deserve it!” You were already wearing the dress but you slump down on one of the couches, “How can you not understand that the guy I let go, who was my first love is dating the very person he cheated on me with? How can you not understand how absolutely soul wrenching that is? That even if I want to be with Timothee, I can’t because I don’t know how to be with him properly. Because he’ll know and feel all these thoughts in my head and all these terrible feelings I have after Tom replaced me with the person he was with when he hurt me?” The tears are pouring out as you feel the flashes from the cameras outside but you didn’t care. Let them see because you were so tired of not being allowed to hurt, “I don’t know how to do this Troye, not without hurting Timothee, and I don’t want to do that… not anymore, he deserves the absolute world and where I am now, I can’t give him mine because there’s almost nothing left of it.”
Troye looks shocked as he gets on his knees next to you, hugging you with all his might, “Alright, well I guess tough love was the wrong move to use on you.” He pulls apart from you, grabbing your arms at the side and looks in your eyes, “But Y/N, have you ever wondered what Timothee wants? Based from everything you’ve told me it seems like you guys haven’t even talked about whatever the two of you are and Timothee wouldn’t be the type of person who’d tell you what he wants because he just wants you to get what you want.” He smiles sadly at you.
You sigh, “Alright, I’ll talk with Timothee when he gets back.”
He gives you a pat on the back, “That won’t even be for until a few months so you have time to think for yourself.” He grabs you by the hand, pulling you up to stand, “And that dress definitely embodies Celia. You’re wearing that tonight.”
You laugh, “I look like I’m going to prom. Is it really alright for me to wear this?”
Troye rolls his eyes, “Sweetie, this is your movie, you can wear whatever the hell you want. You could even come in a sack and nobody would have the right to tell you not to wear what you want.”
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The light flashes in your eyes when the car comes to a hald and you step out, blinding lights from cameras and the ones directly pointed at the red carpet and suddenly you can’t breathe.
Troye’s hand guides you through the walkway onto the carpet but you can’t seem to get a grip on the reality in front of you. It had been so long since you last did a red carpet which was from The Greatest Showman. This was an indie movie, but given the success of the first one, it had garnered a lot more fans. Luckily you’re stopped by an interviewer.
“Y/N! You look fabulous!”
You smile shyly, “Thank you so much, you look beautiful tonight as well.”
She laughs along with what you said as she proceeds to her question, “So, how much chemistry should we be expecting from you and Timothee in this movie? You’re known to be very electric with your onscreen partners in your scenes so there’s no doubt in me that the sparks between you two will go absolutely haywire.”
You laugh, “Well, you know we did our best so hopefully the scenes are captivating and we were able to capture Luca’s intended emotions for the scenes.”
She nods, almost seeming like she wasn’t even listening, “And how about Timothee? He isn’t here tonight, will you and Armie be fine without him?”
You look around, “Oh is Armie here now?” You spot him along the carpet right as he looks over at you, waving and running over.
“Y/N!” He hugs you, as the interviewer stares at the two of you.
You wrap an arm around his back, “To answer your question, we won’t be needing Timothee.” You laugh.
Armie grabs hold of the mic in the interviewer’s hand, “This is live right?” He looks over at the interviewer who nods, “Timmy if you’re watching this, I hope you know we’re having the time of our lives here.”
He gives you a big smooch on the cheek, ruffling your hair and going back to the carpet with his wife who gives you a wave and blows a kiss towards you.
“Alright, so a few weeks ago, your team released a statement that you’ll be releasing your new album which from what we all understand has been in the making for a very long time?”
You nod, already expecting the next question out of her mouth.
“So is it safe to say songs from these past months since you last released an album will be in there.” You smile, nodding, “Then is it safe to assume we’ll be hearing some songs inspired by Tom?”
And there it was, “Well, you know this album will be a double release so it comes from all these beautiful moments since my last album, whether that be me in love, me falling out of love, hurting, laughing. I just think it’s gonna be such an important album for me since it captures so many beautiful moments in my life that I’m just very glad to be treasuring and emulating in my songs.”
“And you aren’t nervous at all for any backlash? Since it has been a while since we last heard a song from you and since you last performed live, especially considering how your last tour ended up.”
You nod along, not taking offense to the questions, “Yeah, well you know, I have been writing songs and they’ve been given to other artists so there’s not too much worry in me that these songs won’t be well liked, and in terms of tour I just don’t think that’s something I can really handle still since the last one had me in a really bad place mentally, and this is something I really want my fans to understand, that mental illness isn’t something we can ignore until we pop. We have to handle it the best way we can and sometimes that just means we have to avoid things that might bring us bad feelings.”
Suddenly the crowd goes wild as a car comes to a stop, the person inside stepping out. You crane your neck trying to get a good look at who it was, but the amount of people was too much so you decide against it. It was probably a celebrity that wasn’t in the movie and is going to the premier or a close friend of Armie’s or Timothee’s, maybe it was Saoirse Ronan.
You look back at the interviewer who had spotted another up and coming celebrity, “And here we have George Mackay!” He waves towards the camera, giving you a grin and standing next to you after the interviewer called him over.
“I don’t quite know why I’m here for the interview seeing as it’s not my premier.” He laughs, “But I am very excited to watch this movie.” He gestured towards you, “This is our first time meeting but I am a very big fan.”
You cover your mouth, “You were so great in Marrowbone.”
“So, here we have another up and coming actor, George Mackay at the premier. Many of our viewers have said that you two should do a movie together soon.”
You giggle, “Well I don’t know, only if George is up for it.”
He laughs, “I’ll have my agent call yours.” He jokes, “I’m quite excited for this one, You don’t really star in too many movies anymore so seeing Y/N in a movie is quite a treat.” He scratched the back of his head.
“Aren’t these two just adorable?” The interviewer laughs.
Suddenly an arm snakes around your back, and you turn only to see brown curly hair.
“Oh my! What a surprise, Timothee Chalamet has just arrived at the premier!”
Somehow George had made his way back to the carpet, Timothee now moving over to where George stood just moments ago.
You laugh nervously, “We thought you were still in Europe.”
He looks at you, a light in his eyes, “I would never miss the premier for our movie, are you kidding me?!”
She gestured towards you, “What can you say about Y/N? How is she looking tonight?”
He takes a look at you up and down, “Well you know, that isn’t really in my line to say but she looks great, absolutely stunning. I think Y/N and I are the same in the regard that we pick our own clothes for these things, right?”
You nod, “Totally, and I only really wanted to look good because I knew if you somehow ended up here tonight you’d outshine me.”
He laughs, “No way! How could I outshine you, I mean come on!” He looks at the camera gesturing towards you, “Look how beautiful she looks!” You blush at that.
The interviewer laughs, “Well, we just got a first hand look at the chemistry we were just talking about, Y/N. You two look like you’re on a date night.” She pauses, “Now Timothee, now that you’re back how was Europe, what did you miss most in the States?”
He grins, “Well it’s pretty cold there, and what did I miss, well not really too much. Who I missed though is a whole different question.”
You laugh nervously, realizing you weren’t ready for the whole freaking world to know you and Timothee had confessed mutual attraction.
The interviewer points at Timothee’s arm around you, “Now that’s been going on for a while now, do you have anything to tell us?”
Timothee opens his mouth, but you beat him to it, “Well you know Timmy, always comfortable with everyone he meets. He’s just such a goofball that’s very easy to get comfortable with him.” You laugh.
He somehow gets the point and laughs along, “Yeah yeah, exactly. One night during the filming I hopped in bed with Armie and his wife.”
“So do you have any words for this movie, Timothee?”
He nods, “Of course, well Armie and I are just so lucky that Luca didn’t realize we were two of the biggest idiots he’s ever met, and I’m just so thankful that this movie brought me to Y/N here, who is just so lovely and was the only sensible one among Armie and I. I really hope we stay in touch since a lot of these movies you know, once the filming is done, the same goes for the relationships and friendships you build with everyone here.” He takes a breath, “I’m very proud of what we’ve made and I really hope nobody has any regrets with the movie.”
“Alright, well, I’ll let you two get to it. Thanks for giving us your time guys.” You wave at the interviewer and spot Luca along the carpet who was giving you hand signals to stick by Timothee the whole night.
You stand next to Timothee as pictures of the two of you were taken, “We need to talk.” You look up at him, right as he looks down at you.
“Okay.”
#Timothee Chalamet#timmy#Selena Gomez#tom holland#tom holland fanfiction#tom x reader#timothee x reader#timothee chalamet x reader#timothee fanfic#bty#back to you#i updated yay#i missed you guys#spidxysense
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Anon from mrchalamet-mrstyles. I'll quote him directly, from an interview at the 2018 BAFTA Tea Party, "I shot a film in LA this past year for like 3-4 months and I had a base all of a sudden. In a way LA's always felt very off the ground for me so I have a lot of gratitude for Armie and Elizabeth." I believe he said more about this in other interviews but as you know there were probably hundreds and my memory isn't that good so I wouldn't know where to look. (cont...)
I didn't say he was an unknown. But he had 6000 Twitter follows in August 2017 and now he has 1.4 million. It's apples and oranges. At that time, Armie was the more famous, more followed of the two and therefore the one that was billed first despite not being the lead etc. Even if he had his family and Kiernan, there is plenty of evidence he spent a lot of time with the Hammers and friends and he has been openly appreciative of it. (Cont...)
He was there a lot. The pasta moment you mentioned. The pajama party with the kids. Getting ready for an event at the Sunset Tower Hotel. Elizabeth feeding him milkshakes to help him regain weight from BB. Ford's birthday party that he was late to. Whenever the pistachio shells moment was. Timothee said he must annoy them because he likes to randomly turn up at their home. We have photo evidence of most of this. I'm confused as to why constantly invoking Armies wife would be a promo tactic.
As for the Russian, I don't understand why that matters? I doubt Timmy was aware of this considering he often spoke about what a great husband Armie was. So it wouldn't have affected how he felt about their home then and there. Sure there are alternative reasons. The same could be said for any of his friendships. But at the end of the day, I think back to his speech about Armie in Austin and dont see any way that what he expressed there wasn't genuine affection and gratitude. But you do you.
I just don't understand why my initial ask caused you to feel the need to counter it. I paraphrased something that he said. We don't know what's actually in his brain, the same can be said for when he's talking about Cudi. It was a small movie with a tiny budget that had excellent reviews and Oscar buzz from day 1. It's not Marvel. The only people stalking Elizabeth's Instagram for content were the ones that were already going to see the movie. I'm sorry if me appreciating their bond bothers you
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Hey, anon, thank you for switching over here. And thank you for staying civil. Why did I write a comment? I mean, you posted a question to @mrchalamet and so I guess you wanted a discussion. And you got that. Isn't that why we are all here, to discuss, to speculate?
You are right, maybe I overreacted re your ask and you got something you didn't deserve and I thought you implied something you didn't. Let me just tell you where I come from: Usually, when someone praises T&A together, it ends up with more or less 'And they are so in love, have been for years, and are fucking for real now. Die if you think otherwise, homophobe.' Experiencing that attitude around a lot might explain - not necessarily excuse - why I might have read something into your ask that wasn't there (and I don't mean the fucking bit, I mean the death wishes for people who don't see it).
Let me say now, I don't think their friendship was all played up. They liked each other. But it was played up to some extent imo. So, yes, Tim was there, but what does base mean? And of course as this is their chosen narrative, they stick to it because none of them is interested in making public a rift or a cooling off of their friendship when it helped (re)launch both their careers. (Armie might have been more famous back then, but not necessarily successful, but Tim was rising, without 2 major flops around his neck; Armie was rather down when CMBYN happened and I think that was one of the reasons he took it on - nothing to lose).
Again, you are right, we know nothing for certain about their firendship now, it's only, we don't see much of it lately. That can mean they keep it private now or that it dried up. Rn I'm team dried up. But that is of course just speculation. And we can now debate back and forth what base means and how often he's been there and why these things were posted at the time and who was there when... But let me play advocatus diaboli: Their friendship, interactions and Tim staying over at the Hammers lasted roughly the same time as awards season. There is a logical explanation because then they worked together to do promo, cheap promo, precisely, for an indie movie. What is cheaper than curating a friendship on sm? It doesn't cost as much as ads in EW. And it worked because even GQ 'shipped' them... so their friendship (with implications for more) worked very well for CMBYN. Just saying. It could have been genuine, could have been played up and curated, could have been a mixture of both. (I tend to played up; Tim has other firends but they all vanished from view while Armie was put in the spotlight during that time. Tim was with a friend in Paris beginning of 2018 for the Haider show, but you didn't see that; but you saw him A LOT with Armie at professional events, them talking about how good pals they were).
Just going by what I see - and again, I'm aware I'm not seeing all - we got shown less and less content of them both together after CMBYN promo ended. And that makes me think... I never quite got what they had in common apart from working together anyway (10 years apart, Armie married with kids, Tim just finding his footing), so there has for a long time been a bit of doubt re how close they really were.
As a shipper, I played their closeness up myself. Now, seeing where this shipping ended up - harrassing Liz, Lily, Eiza, Tim's and Armie's friends, even a bagel shop, not to mention al lot of fellow fans who allegedly (as charmies put it) went over to the dark side and get death threats, doxxing threats etc on numerous plattforms for mentioning that maybe that ship is just a fantasy (I'm not kidding you here) - I try to show that things could have been different from what we were shown. That's all. I'm just arguing my point, as you do yours. As long as we don't whis the other dead, I can live with agree to disagree.
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Netflix’s Death Note: [Personal] Review
Director Adam Wingard's Death Note is basically a Final Destination bootleg with the manga's name. It's flat, unnecessarily gory, and incoherent. Its promising moments are completely swept under the rug of its overall disjointed narrative and out-of-character acting.
I love Death Note. It's one of my all-time favorite series. I even have merch from my weaaboo days (haha). But I've also never been a fan of manga adaptations–not even anime (to an extent; I'm looking at you, Full Metal Alchemist and Shugo Chara season 3), and especially not of Western movies. Hollywood has YET to produce a decent manga adaptation, and this one is right up there with M. Night's The Last Airbender.
I'm not sure how these directors do their research, but by and large their end products wind up looking like their "research" is pretty much just looking up the plot on Wikipedia and making what they will of that. Netflix's DN is the absolute barebones of the wonderful masterpiece that is Ohba and Obata's Death Note. It's even more disappointing if you think about the fact that Death Note's "absolute barebones" is still a good material to work with, and we STILL end up with this bastardization.
First of all, I, at least, have no problem with the setting. To begin with, Netflix did say this was an Americanized version of the original. It makes sense that they'd change the names, considering this is set in Seattle. I did appreciate that 'Mia Sutton' is not too far from 'Misa Amane' as far as the composite letter are concerned lol. My biggest problem was the characters themselves, but I'll focus on 2 to keep this from being indecently long.
Light Turner is not supposed to be Timmy Turner's older, emo brother and is an average kid whom no one understands and happens to be good at Math and doing other people's homework. The core of Light's character is his PERFECTION. He is so far above average that he's completely detached from the rest of the world. That god complex was the entire reason he even took and managed to assume a 'god' character. It's literally the core of Death Note. Light is supposed to be the perfect son, perfect student, perfect citizen. Everyone loves him and looks up to him. And HE knows that. People don't need to tell him; he knows for himself he is BETTER than others. That's how Kira came to be in the first place.
Netflix's Light Turner is a wimpy loser with absolutely no depth as a character. He is completely one dimensional. He responds to dark and violent situations with darkness and violence. He is bullied so he fights back. His mother is murdered so he kills the murderer. It's a completely overused narrative that puts the essence of Light Yagami, antihero extraordinaire, straight into the chopping block.
From the get-go, his character is completely wrong. He is introduced as a nerdy kid who earns lunch money by doing other kids' homework. He has zero charisma. He's at the bottom of the food chain. He has absolutely nothing of what it takes to become the god that is Kira. The way that Light Turner was written would never have let him become anything larger than life; it just made him a vindictive bully who happened to be able to kill.
(A very dangerous combination–but for all the wrong reasons.)
Which just obliterates the central theme of Death Note altogether, and throws out the window the very foundation of what made the original work.
Second, this film is unnecessarily gory. Sure, a certain degree of violence is expected when it comes to murder, but Wingard just made this entire movie a B-rated slasher film with his slow-motion death scenes–something he just PACKS the whole movie with and spotlights on like it's the most important aspect of the story when it's totally secondary (if not completely an afterthought) in the original.
It's not even realistic. Light sees a BULLY (not a criminal; just a run-of-the-mill playground bully) antagonizing a schoolmate, he's handed a murder weapon for a TEST RUN, and he immediately, without a shadow of a doubt, writes 'decapitation' as the method of death? He chooses something that is exceedingly difficult, unnatural, and very, very specific for the first time he's trying to kill someone? He doesn't even UNDERSTAND what's going on; he's just had a massive Poltergeist experience. How was it possible for him to suddenly have enough presence of mind to write down an oddly specific method of death for someone who isn't even evil, just mean? That doesn't bode very well for Light as a person, let alone someone who's about to play god.
Throughout the movie, Light visibly struggles with his actions. He has no certainty. He kills with the Death Note but he lacks the inherent motivation for it; he only does it because he has to. Nothing about the characterization of Light Turner remotely suggested that he has what it takes to rule the world, as what he is essentially doing when he dictates who lives or dies (or tells your story lol). But then–all of a sudden, 5 minutes to the end of the movie and he explains this elaborate scheme where he undoes Mia killing him and transfers the ownership of the notebook back to him and basically just manipulated space and time so suit his needs.
That is a completely Light YAGAMI thing to do (and something he HAS actually done numerous times in the original). Nothing about Light TURNER's character and actions suggested he was capable of that. How convenient that 2 minutes before the police gets to him, he suddenly taps into his inner high-functioning psychopath and concocts an über-complicated plan to not die but kill 3 people and destroy one theme park along the way.
Where did that inner 'HIGH FUNCTIONING' part come from? Nearly two hours to have shown that Light's brilliant mind goes beyond solving Calculus problems and thinking up oddly particular methods of dying, and you choose the last five minutes to cram that in.
How very high school.
But enough about Light. Now we go to another important character–L. Considering that these 2 are the only ones they retain from the original (excepting Ryuk, but that's another point). L is one of the most brilliant minds in the world, but instead the movie showed him as nothing more than a weirdo that throws tantrums and only needs the FLIMSIEST of proofs to say he "knows" and he's "right".
The original L does operate entirely on the gut feeling that Light is Kira, but he sets out to prove that. To him, nothing is ever damning enough and he won't settle for anything less than seeing Light actually murder someone right before L's very eyes. Movie L suddenly "just knows". Nothing about his actions suggests that he has the means to prove that Light is Kira; if anything, he's trying to make it so that things DO go with his conclusion, whether or not it's actually true. The real L is nothing like that. He backed down when his proofs didn't go with his conclusions. L believes in justice, first and foremost. He's almost childlike in his black-and-white convictions (I have a screenshot of this panel, so my receipts are in place). This L just doesn't capture that innocence.
By itself, the movie isn't THAT bad. It only becomes a terrible crapfest when you have the original to compare it with. Netflix's Death Note can stand alone as a slasher/horror/thriller film to Netflix and chill with if you are holding it to itself, but never make the mistake of reading/watching the original brilliance that is Ohba and Obata's Death Note first.
I do have a real concern with the keeping of the name "Kira". Kira is just the Japanese pronunciation of "killer". Japanese people literally were calling Light, "Killer". Why did Wingard keep the Jap pronunciation? What purpose did it serve other than that 5-second line where L says it was to mislead investigation to thinking Light was Japanese? Why is there even a need for that? Was that supposed to be a nod to the Japanese root of Death Note? It may have been a pure intention on the director's part, though, but it was unnecessary, if not even reeking of whitewashing–but I'd digress and hope for the best.
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perennial;tom holland|eleven.
chapter eleven: snapdragons & sunflowers (Vol. 1)
↳ flower meaning: snapdragons: deception. sunflowers: unconditional love.
chapter summary: to ask for a kiss.
pairing: tom holland x y/n
warnings: fluff, angst, comedy, all in one, mentions or allusion to sex but not smut :), you’ll see, alcohol.
You’ll hate me.
word count: 11.2K
SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:
masterlist & profiles
ten (Instagram): in which they share set pictures
ten (tweets & texts:in which the groupchats are…loud
previous chapter next chapter perennial masterlist.
perfidy ( series masterlist)
wanna be tagged?
So, please help me out I think tags aren’t working. So yes, hope you enjoy this :)
Y/N was made of the people she loved or once loved. Everyone is, really, but y/n probably made sure it showed.
Like her habit for photography had come from her very own best friend, of the way she started watching cooking videos because of her other best friend and always read the ingredients on any of the food she ate. Her clothing style had come from her very own first boyfriend who had introduced her to the magnificent world of the 80’s.
Her love for 80’s movies had come from Louis introducing her every night to a different one, a new story, a new song, and honestly it was good he showed her to it, y/n found her one true love. Louis, really, had shown y/n a lot of things, like how to lie to see him at indecent hours, and how And how Louis taught her that love doesn’t have to last and that sometimes people aren’t what we expect.
How she loved pancakes because that’s what her mother used to make them every Sunday, and how she’d learned from her father that sometimes sitting outside in the grass on a sunny day could bring back happiness to us.
How her grandma had taught her how to have a perfect poker face, and how her grandfather had shown her how to peel an orange in a ‘correct way’.
How she had started to drink her tea with lemon and honey because James had once given her one like that and it brought nice memories. And how James had told her that it’s okay to love, even when people tell you not to, you have to fight for your love, you shall never be afraid of who you love. And James teaching her that she should love for herself, for her own, and not having to share her feelings if she didn’t want to.
How y/n had started to watch subtitled films because Timmy had shown her some hidden gems. Or how she had learned from Tim to enjoy little moments, like the sunrise if she ever had to wake up early, or how she opened the windows to listen to the rain splattering. Tim had taught her too much about life, like enjoying wasting time.
Y/N was made, the most, of the people she loved the most. Like how she made pasta the way James had taught her to once when their parents had gone out and James was left in charge.
Or how when she was sad she’d watch that movie her childhood friend had introduced her to, and how they didn’t talk now. How y/n had learned that music was a way of healing because of that same friend.
Or how to make a story sound great with Harry, and how Harry had shown her songs that probably were her favorite ones. How Harry and her knew that they didn’t like tequila because of that one time, and how they had learned that mixing cranberry, and grape juice and vodka tasted great thanks to Sam’s idea.
The way that Emma had taught her to use certain hair products, and how Emma had taught her that sometimes we have to sing out our feelings, and scream and shout. How Emma had taught her the importance of a friendship and having someone’s shoulder to cry on. That she didn’t have to be lonely.
How when she kissed she usually liked to place her hands behind their neck because she’d done that on her very first kiss with Tom, or how she usually ate some of the chocolate chips when she baked cookies because Tom and her used to do that. She had learned how to wrestle from a very young age and beat Tom, and she had learned how to play with his hair in a way to make him smile. She had learned the meaning of a rose, when all her life she had never understood about it, Tom had shown her how to approach a dog, and Tom had taught her how to cuff her jeans in a cool way. Or the habit she’d picked from him of undressing the beer bottle when they were talking or how he opened it with the table. How Tom had taught her how to kiss, from their very first one to the last one, different kisses each time, how he’d taught her each and every kiss is a journey, a mystery. How she’d learned how to deal with heartbreaks and to fall in love all over again. And how she had learned that he’d come back to her. But really, how a heartbreak feels when it’s real.
That’s who y/n was. All the beautiful things of the people she loved.
But she was also the bad ones, unfortunately, because people shape us. Y/N was also made of the ugly parts, very ugly parts.
One that stood out the most, she’d learned from Tom, from James, from her family, was to avoid talking.
Everybody wanted to talk, everybody except y/n. She knew she was being immature, but she’d learned that from everyone around her, not to care if you don’t have to. But she was too overwhelmed, everyone had something to say about, except her. How could she talk if she didn’t know what she wanted?
Tom, Harry, Emma, Tim, James, Sam, Cherry, Aunt Eliza, even Josh and Clark.
Everybody wanted to talk. She didn’t.
She had caught on to what Tom was doing. She'd go along with it, he was the only one she wanted to talk to, honestly.
And Emma, because she knew Emma didn’t judge her, Emma understood y/n, and Emma had been the only one who really didn’t tell her she was wrong. Even if Tim was her best friend, Ema understood that y/n’s heart belonged to Tom.
“Clark is great, I may have fallen in love with him,” Emma had stated.
Y/N nodded. “He’s great, I—“
“Why didn’t you know?” Emma asked.
“I did know. But I didn’t—James was—you know how I’ve only dated three guys?” Y/n asked, she was putting on makeup, she had a date.
“Yeah.”
“James is exactly the opposite, he’s dated like half the gay population his age in London,” y/n scrunched her nose, as she was choosing between lipsticks.. “So I just—Never paid attention to any guy he dated because I never thought it was serious.”
“Are you talking to him now?”
“I did today, only because of Clark,” y/n admitted, giving up on the lipsticks and instead choosing to work on her hair. “James is still angry I am in love.”
“Not angry at that, you know that,” Emma pointed out.
“Is it that wrong I am so in love with Tom?” Y/n left the brush on the table as she turned to look at Emma.
“It’s completely bollocks y/n, but then again,” Emma sighed, “I wish I could be more like you and just love—I mean and I also wish Harry wasn’t so scared okay? He’s just so bloody scared, I wish he’d just say hey, Emma, d’ya fancy to go for a stroll? But no, we are both so… Gosh, I wish we were more like you and Tom, throwing everything down the drain.”
“We are-”
“You are, y/n,” Emma rolled her eyes. “He blows your mind and you basically want to yell it to the world, and he gets you all stupid, and you’re happy again, that’s alright, though-”
Emma was laying down on y/n’s bed, her feet up against the wall, as she was nibbling on a popsicle.
“Yes, I know, we have to talk,” she sighed.
“Who says it has to be right now?” Emma had said. “Right now you barely have time to think, and I see you all happy and giggling, and besides, talking doesn’t have to be dramatic.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just… I don’t get it why James wants it to be dramatic, it’s just hey, you guys love each other, what else is there to know?”
Y/N nodded, turning back to the lipsticks.
“You do have to tell him you know about Cherry, though, which-”
“Yeah, n, no, but I get it,” y/n sighed.
“Which, I love you’re ignoring, just pretending like she doesn’t exist, ” Emma laughed. “She just arrived yesterday, didn’t she?”
“She did,” Y/N sighed. “Ugh, I don’t want to see her and she wants to talk, what does she want to talk about? We’ve never cared about each other before, met her like three times growing up because my mum and hers didn’t get along, which by the way, I’m scared James and I are headed in that same direction.”
“You won’t,” Emma said. “James loves you too much to ever leave you.”
“You never know,” y/n said. “Besides that’s not my point, my point is why does she want to talk? We have nothing in common!”
“Dunno, you’re blood related and you both rode the same dick, seems like you’ve got a lot in common.”
Y/n closed her eyes as she forced a laugh, “Emma!”
“I’m just saying, y/n, that’s why you and I became close, we’ve both kissed the same two guys.”
“It’s different,” Y/N scoffed. “I—just don’t want to see her okay? Because I know I’ll be reminded of every single insecurity I have,” she admitted. “Because I know that the moment I see her I’ll get just so anxious, you know? She’s so pretty, and she’s so perfect and from what-”
“From what I’ve gathered from Eliza, she’s also a mess,” Emma added.
“That’s an issue, that’s Tom’s type, just look at me,” y/n laughed as she stared at a bright red lipstick.
Emma scoffed. “Oh, hadn’t thought about that, Tom’s into messy girls with your genes.”
“It’s so fucked up, though,” y/n said, as she looked up at the wall, she needed to change the flowers, they were drying out. She hadn’t changed them in a while.
Emma shrugged, “considering how small his brain is, he probably thought it would feel the same way if he closed his eyes.”
“As if it would,” y/n replied cockily, finally choosing a light pink, changing it up a bit, she’d always used bright red lipsticks with Tom, “I’ve known him his whole life, and now I’ve—“she cleared her throat. “ I know exactly how to work him up.”
Emma let out a loud and long laugh. “I can tell, Jesus, what did you do to him to have him oh, so mesmerized? Are you a sex goddess or why are those two men so bloody entranced by you?”
Y/N blushed and shook her head laughing. “You’re an idiot.”
“How do you really feel?” Emma wondered, getting the conversation back as serious as it was supposed to be.
“I don’t know,” Y/N admitted, she was still on some pair of pjs. “I… I’ve been talking with Tom, or…” She rolled her eyes. “He’s found a way to talk, and I think it’s worked out for both of us.”
“Oh, what is it?” Emma sighed.
Y/n walked over to her closet, it felt so weird to choose something to wear, Tom had warned her to be casual, something her style, something very her.
“We use the script so we can… I guess we’re projecting it all, and well, I think he’s been understanding about it, and I think I’m starting to understand his point of view, about Tim at least.”
“Please, I don’t need to listen to him to know why he feels that way,” Emma pointed out.
“Really?” Y/n turned back to Emma as she was choosing between them.
“I like the red one,” Emma suggested. “But please, y/n,” Emma scoffed. “Timmy was the one who stole his chance, Timmy was the one who got the girl when he had fucked up and everyone around Tom said it, we’ve all said it at some point, Tim is perfect for you.”
“But—“
“and besides, Timmy was the one-”
“The one who opened the door when Tom came to apologize,” y/n finished Emma’s sentence as she sat down hugging the red dress Emma had suggested.
Emma frowned. “What?”
“Guess Timmy had secrets, too,” y/n said.
Emma seemed confused.
“He never told me about it, how Tom had come a second time, and…” She sighed. “I mean I guess I’m thankful he didn’t but I’m… I’m only wondering—“
“Oh, back when you first started dating,” Emma recalled. “He did tell me about it, and I.. was the one to advise him not to tell you.”
Y/N gulped.
“Would you have run back to Tom?” Emma wondered, embarrassed. “Honestly I told him not to because—Well, I had asked Harry about it, you know? Harry had said you hated each other and that you had been avoiding Tom for a while now. That you were enemies.”
“We were.”
“And I mean—Back then, you really hated him.”
Y/n nodded. “Yeah, I did.”
“So I told Tim not to tell you about it, because I thought—I didn’t know the background but I thought Tom was going to—hurt you, you know? And I guess, we all did, and we all kept that mentality even when he wasn’t trying to.”
“Yeah.”
“Wow, I’ve never thought about that,” Emma nodded. “Even when I knew you were dating back in New York, we were just waiting for it, for Tom to—“
“Yeah, for Tom to pull a Tom,” y/n ended the sentence. “And I mean—He kind of did, but it was my fault.”
“Tom really sabotages himself, it seems.”
Y/N reached out to hug her frog, she was thankful James had brought it, “he does, but because he’s expected to, you know? Maybe that’s why— I haven’t brought it up because I’m not—I’m not expecting the heartbreak this time, and I know bringing up the whole Cherry thing is looking for it,” y/n explained. “I trust him this time, and he really wants to make it work out.”
“Would you have gone back to him? Had Tim told you he had showed up?” Emma questioned.
Y/N breathed in heavily. “Dunno,” she said. “I was so heartbroken back then, I thought— and I had promised myself back then I would never fall back for him, and… I mean, I had even thought I would never love again because that’s how dramatic it was, I really didn’t want to see him, that heartbreak is what led to all this mess, you know?” She explained. “Now Tom knows that, I think he really understands it, and he feels guilty and I mean, I was angry when Tom told me about it, because… Tim, well he didn’t know back then, he just was too sure that Tom loved me but—After learning all of this? Tim should’ve told me, because just now, learning it, I guess it changed a lot of things, not that it erased anything, but I lived all this time thinking he hadn’t… He really hadn’t cared, and it took him a lot of time, still, but he had tried to apologize again, and Tim keeping it to himself knowing that what broke me the most was that Tom had never shown up? Tim keeping it to himself is just—so selfish.”
Emma bit her lip. “He’s still in love with you.”
Y/N remained quiet.
“I mean, you can’t blame him,” Emma said. “You guys were… I mean before Tom, you really seemed to be hitting it off, I thought you’d end up dating again.”
“I did, too, at some point,” y/n admitted. “But-”
“But you love Tom, I know,” Emma shrugged. “No but… Y/N you also, have to acknowledge it, you can’t keep playing with Tim which-before you say anything, I mean it’s also on him, he knew it, but then again, I… I believed it at some point y/n, that you were going to get back together with him because… The way you looked at him just… and it was just—”
“I know, I know and I thought… I don’t know, okay?” y/n admitted as she sat up. “I… It’s cause I never… I had closure with Tim, alright? I gave him the ring back because I thought, I know it, I want Tom, okay? It’s Tom, yes, it’s Tom.”
“But?”
Y/n sighed, “Timmy—alright as I said before, I had said I would never love again after the whole Rome thing,” she cleared up. “And then Tim came along and just showed me this beautiful life and taught me how to love again, and I—He became a very special part of me.”
“Yeah, and? That doesn’t explain your flirting.”
“I didn’t—flirt.”
“Well you answered to his flirting,” Emma pointed out.
“We were—“
“You guys were flirting y/n!” Emma replied quickly, slightly stressed. “You guys don’t flirt like everyone else! Your flirting style with each other was by showing each other songs and him watering your plants, y/n! You were basically having sex with each other,” Emma rolled her eyes.
Y/N stayed quiet.
“But I know, Tom, Tom—“
Y/n gulped. “Yeah, Tom.”
Emma watched y/n, confused. “Why are you acting like it’s the last time?”
“What?”
“Like it’s your last chance with Tom.”
“I...don’t know, because what if it is, you know? It’s… stupid, we’ve had plenty of chances and… Last time, I just… Had I known it would lead to that. I know it’s my fault, and like we’ve both blown it up so it’s—“
“Neither one of you will fuck up.”
“I know—But Tom… We are trying and I’m happy but I feel-”
“Y/N you are pretending, I know, you won’t be happy until you talk about it with him.”
She sighed. “I know, and we’ve been talking and I…” She coughed. “I really want to try it out.”
“But…?”
“Am I allowed to forgive something like that? Am I even allowed to get angry about Cherry?”
Emma sat up as well. “Y/N, had he slept with anyone else I wouldn’t be so sure but that’s your cousin, that’s fucked up and-”
“What if he finds out about Tim?”
Y/N grabbed the pillow that had once been under her head and proceeded to get it in her face and scream into it.
“Wait, I’m… I’m gonna try that,” Emma laughed, doing the same.
Both of them were screaming into the pillows, pitying their sorrows and problems.
Timmy had walked in.
“What the hell?” He asked.
Emma was the only one to peak her head out of it. “It’s therapeutic.”
Timothee had only chuckled. “I bet.”
Y/N had stopped screaming but kept the pillow over her face. She didn’t know how she felt about Tim, there was no point in being angry at something from the past, but it did change a lot of the way she saw him, maybe he had forgotten. But Tim was never one to forget, he was observant and he was quiet, and he was all about the stories.
“Um, y/n?” Tim said.
Emma watched Tim, and the small object he had in his hand. She shot him a warning glare, scared of the inside.
“Yeah?” y/n answered from her pillow which now had a nice stain of makeup on it.
“Can I talk to you?” He asked.
Another person wanting to talk, what was it with everybody wanting to say words and listening and whatever? Y/N thought to herself.
Though Timmy hadn’t asked for it yet, she knew it, but he hadn’t really said it, not the whole y/n we should talk.
She wanted to say no, but she knew that she couldn’t keep doing that. Counting the days until it finally had to blow up, and then end up with bruises, no, she didn’t have to do that.
She finally let the pillow down, “Yeah, sure,” she said before walking out of her room.
“Sure, leave Emma behind,” Emma pointed out.
“I… well,” Y/N looked at Tim.
“It’ll be quick, darling, Emma dear,” Tim assured her.
Emma rolled her eyes. “It never is with you both.”
Tim rolled his eyes before leading the way outside of the apartment, y/n frowned, asking him to wait up so she could put on her sneakers, still wearing her pj’s.
“So your birthday is tomorrow,” Tim had said as they had walked out, he had sat on the stairs.
She chuckled as she sat beside him. “Yeah.”
“You look really pretty,” Tim had said.
“These pj’s really accentuate my features huh,” y/n joked.
“Your makeup looks pretty and hair, idiot,” Tim chuckled.
She only gave him a sad smile.
“So, what are your plans?” He asked.
“For… tonight? I’ve got a date,” she explained.
“No, tomorrow.”
She shrugged. “Tom’s got some plans, apparently, he hasn’t told me anything about it, honestly I don’t… I don’t want to…”
“What?”
“Do anything you know? I will be too tired after filming, and I… I just feel like… Dunno, James and Clark will be there and I don’t want to talk to James still, and apparently Cherry invited herself, too so… And you’ll be there, and Harry and Emma… and Josh, and I just... ” She chuckled. “I’ve got a bad feeling.”
“Why?”
“Dunno, seems like a perfect combination for disaster.”
“I met Cherry today,” he admitted. “Well, we’d met before but-Yeah, I thought you’d be at the flower shop. “And she was there, instead.”
Y/N scrunched her nose. “Yeah I know she’s there, that’s why I haven’t gone there,” she explained chuckling shyly.
“Why?”
“Because then I’ll start feeling insignificant, because let’s face it and don’t you dare say no, but she’s really… Pretty, like she’s everything a girl would want to be and I’m jealous of her,” she admitted, truthfully. “I’ve never been the jealous kind but with her, I feel like—Of course anyone would choose her over me, and don’t—Say anything okay? I just feel that way. And if I see her I’ll be reminded of the elephant in the room waiting to be addressed, and I… If the conversation about you went wrong I don’t want to know how that-”
“About me?”
“Yeah,” she looked down. “Dunno.”
Tim bit his lip.
“How did he-?”
“I don’t want to talk about that, Tim,” she quickly answered. “I can’t blame him for feeling the way he feels and that’s on me, too, I mean… I… really.”
“What?”
She looked down. “I— well, I don’t…know alright? If I feel anxious about Cherry I can only imagine how he feels about you, no, I can’t even imagine it, and look Tim, I—you know you’re very important to me but I’m… I’m dating… Or whatever is going on now, but It’s Tom right now, alright? And I know it’ll be for a long time.”
“I know.”
She looked at him, confused by his statement because it really didn’t feel like he knew it.. “And I don’t… want you to think there is an open door or-”
“Y/N, I know,” he said. “Yeah, I know it’s Tom, now.”
“But it’s not just—“
“I know,” Tim looked away. “I know.”
She looked down. “I’m sorry.”
“Just….” He took a deep breath. “I know it’s him, but that doesn’t… I mean, we’ve been friends, and I—I just ask you not to push me away, alright? I don’t know how I’d live without y/n in my world, and if having you around means having you with him, then I just have to deal with it, move on you know? And I know we are friends, so this is… This comes from your friend, Timmy.”
She smiled, just slightly, very timidly. It hurt, hurting him but of course, keeping him around meant jeopardizing her relationship with Tom, and she really didn’t want to give it more excuses.
“Timmy,” she sighed.
He smiled. “I’m serious, it’s alright, no… no resentment, alright? We both know we… I don’t…you know it, I’ll always love you, but we—I mean you—you love someone else and it’s be stupid of me not letting you love him, that is just pathetically selfish. And don’t get me wrong, it hurts like a bitch…. Yeah, I know it, but… I don’t want to lose you, I am not stupid… but I also… I know that if I give this to you tomorrow, Tom will lose it and I… don’t want that, so I’m giving you this, today.”
He pulled out a film canister. And it felt like one of those times when life likes to punch you with reality. She felt a fear deep inside her stomach. Last time he’d given her one of those an engagement ring was hidden in it.
“It’s… It’s not what you think,” Tim rolled his eyes. “Oh, you really thought I’d propose again?”
She let out a soft chuckle. “No--I… I mean,” I’m-I didn’t think you would-”
“Your face,” He chuckled softly. “Yeah, no, I… I’m…”
“Yeah, just last time you gave me one of those-”
“Yeah, and look where it led us, I’m not… I wouldn’t… No,” Timmy laughed. “No, it’s not… and—do you really think I’m the type of guy to propose on a bad time—-Actually don’t answer that,” he chuckled. “Okay, open it.”
She grinned, and took the film canister from him. “Man I hope it’s an iPad,” she joked, warning a laugh from Tim. “No, you—you shouldn’t have.”
She shook it just slightly, listening to no sound coming out from it, before finally opening, carefully. “A…there’s nothing?” She asked.
“Yeah,” Tim laughed. “I know.”
She frowned, confused but then chuckled. “I love it… I hope I… can get to wear it soon,” she joked.
“It couldn’t fit there, but I—Well, you know, we had that tradition, ,” he said before finally giving her the box that sat beside him.
She took the box and smiled, opening it, an old vintage Polaroid camera stood there.
“I know you’ve—I think it works, it’s—It’s an original, I've noticed you haven't really taken any Polaroids, and I know you love them,” he coughed. “So, yeah, happy birthday.”
Y/N had only looked up, giving him a true smile.
“Thank you, I love it!”
But of course, the timing could not have gone any worse. Tom had arrived. Y/N had momentarily forgotten she had agreed to spend the night with him, nothing too serious but Tom had insisted because he had a surprise for early in the morning and he’d come pick her up for dinner and then she’d stay with him.
Maybe she should’ve seen the trouble coming.
Tom cleared his throat loudly, “hello,” he said, standing with sunflowers. Yellow flowers with pretty meaning, y/n thought.
Y/n looked up, calmly, knowing that if he saw any hint of her freaking out it would blow it up because his mind would go places.
“Oh hi!” She grinned. “sorry—I’m not—“
Tom clenched his jaw at Tim, but then turned to y/n and chuckled, “Darling, when I said casual—I didn’t—“
She chuckled nervously standing up. “Sorry, I—“she squeezed her eyes shut. “I was discussing with Tim something about some pictures he’s planning on—yeah,” she lied, as she hid the film canister and box behind her back.
“Yeah,” Tim said, clearing his throat, standing up as well. “Hello, Thomas.”
“Tim.” Tom was nervous already, y/n could tell.
“Are those for me?” Y/n questioned staring at the flowers before they could say another word to each other.
Tom chuckled between his teeth, “yeah, they’re most certainly not for Tim.”
“Oh,” Tim said, “and here I was getting excited about them.”
Tom faked a very quiet laugh and then turned to y/n. “So? Don’t get me wrong, you literally look so beautiful—but—“ He smiled looking down at her clothing.
“Yeah—right!” She excused herself, not forgetting to kiss his cheek, before running back to her room, where Emma was waiting with the red dress and had pulled out some heels for her.
Emma walked out of the room, “hello, Tom, long time no see,” she said with sarcasm.
“I know, these couple hours have been long,” Tom joked back, as he had walked in.
Tim had followed after. It felt so tense, Emma could swear she could cut the tension with a knife.
Emma hummed a fake laugh. “There are flower vases over there, you can guess which ones are y/n’s now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna steal Tim from you just a bit, I hope you don’t miss him as much.”
Emma had dragged Tim to her own room.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Emma snapped.
“A lot of things,” Tim answered. “But let’s not go there, please.”
“Oh don’t play that with me, I know exactly what you’re doing, and Tim—“
“I’m not—“
“Don’t fucking pull the whole I’m not doing anything bullshit with me,” she rolled her eyes. “I know exactly what you’re doing, and I’m sure you gave her the Polaroid today, really? Exactly when you know she’ll go on a date with Tom? And you take her to the stairs? So he can see it right?
Tim clenched his jaw. “I—Well.”
“Sabotaging her relationship is not the way to go, Tim,” Emma warned him. “And I—I just told you—Best thing you could try is...move on, alright? I know you love her and that she was—She seemed perfect for you, and I still think you guys worked so well together but… She is so in love with him, and by doing this you’re only hurting her more—Besides, really Tim, you know her better than this,” she pushed. “I—“ Emma sighed. “I'm telling you this because I love you, I don’t want to sound harsh but—“She closed her eyes. “I know she is confused, and making her even more confused won’t help you, let her settle it, let her have it right now.”
Tim didn’t say anything and just walked out of the room. He had gone to his room and unfortunately had left his door open to see y/n walking out on a red dress to run over excitedly to Tom, who had pulled her close to him to kiss her cheek and smell her perfume.
Timmy knew Emma was right, y/n was in love with him. So, very deeply in love. And it hurt, seeing her. And Timmy asked for more patience, or for more time, or strength to move on.
It felt weird, Tim felt lonely and broken hearted, and he just missed her, and it was stupidly incredible that she lived right there in the same apartment. He knew she loved Tom, that was it but it…. It still didn’t make any sense. Honestly, it felt like they were completely strangers.
Especially y/n, she really felt like a stranger, even to Tom it seemed. She seemed too… distant to everyone.
Tom felt it, too. He felt that y/n was just off, even if she was happy or tried to be and even if she was kissing his cheek, she was being… different. And Tom only wanted to get over with it, the awkwardness.
And he wondered if she wanted to get over with it, too.
They went out for dinner, not in the place where she’d imagine Tom would take her, it was a nice dinner place with lightbulbs hanging around, a flower in a glass bottle, candles around, very… cozy, and romantic, and they were talking about barely anything, and maybe for a bit it felt like they were each other again.
Y/N knew this, she felt weird with herself, as if even when she seemed to be saying what she wanted to say, she really wasn’t saying what her heart wanted, but as if her own heart was keeping secrets. It felt like Tom didn’t know her, though. And it had never felt that way before, but it felt like they were both trying to get to know each other again. Because neither of them were being themselves, not entirely.
“So, you were clearly not talking about pictures with Tim,” Tom had mentioned.
y/n looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, I wasn’t….”
“So?” Tom seemed anxious about it.
“He gave me a birthday present, a…he gave me a polaroid,” she cleared up. “A vintage, original one.”
“Oh, that’s cool,” Tom nodded, and gulped. “As long as he doesn’t give you a ring.”
She rolled her eyes. “Tom.”
Tom shrugged.
“I… told him,” she cleared her throat. “That well… it’s you.”
“It’s me?” Tom wondered, and a smile came to his face. “What am I?”
She rolled her eyes, chuckling softly. “An idiot, that’s what you are.”
Tom chuckled. “Uh-huh, I am, and what else?”
She blushed. “Nothing.”
Tom hadn’t pushed it any further. Their conversation kept flowing. Talking about them. What made them so… them.
“I remember that everyone was in love with this one guy, ugh, what’s his name? The one that bullied you,” Y/N tried to recall.
“Edward,” Tom remembered. “He was so big.”
“Well, everyone had a crush except me, because well, I was the idiot, you know?”
“You loved that scrawny guy who-”
“Adorable guy,” she added.
“Scrawny guy,” he continued. “Who did ballet and everyone crushed on Edward, who-”
“I actually was… dating Louis back then,” she recalled. “But…” She chuckled. “But my point is… I was the one who… hid a rat in his car.”
“No way!” Tom’s eyes popped as he leaned over. “You’re kidding.”
“I… Look, nobody could be an asshole to you unless it was me, that was-” She was nervous. “I was so angry at everything he said at you, I…” She rolled her eyes. “And I… genuinely don’t know.”
“Where in this bloody world did you get a rat from?” He wondered. “I mean thank you but I didn’t think you’d-”
“Please I had experience from pranks for you so of course…” She gulped, hiding a laugh. “I...Well, there was a rat in Louis' house, and well they trapped it and instead of… you know killing it I… well told Louis to break into Ed’s car and I hid the rat there.”
Tom was shocked. “And that was because of me?”
“No, I hated Ed,” she looked away. “He was the biggest asshole.”
Tom grinned. “Are you sure? Because I remember that rat incident being right after he had hit me in the hall.”
“Really?” y/n coughed. “I wouldn’t remember,” she blushed looking away.
“Which actually brought attention to me, they said it had been me!” He recalled. “I got into detention.”
Y/N grinned. “Yeah, killed two birds in one shot,” she smirked.
“I’m serious did you-?”
“Yeah, maybe I did it for you, okay? Whatever, yes, I had feelings for you and I was angry someone else was taking away my job, let’s remember we were enemies back then, alright?” She was nervous.
Tom smirked. “You had a crush on me.”
“Shut up,” she chuckled. “You had a crush on me, too.”
Tom shrugged, smiling. “Yeah, I did. I’m not trying to hide it.
Y/N avoided his gaze, not believing he was actually making her feel butterflies, even after all this time, she was still nervous. In a good way. She wasn’t always nervous, most of the time, she didn’t, she felt so calm around him, but on the edge, as if she didn’t need to worry about being herself but expectant of each other’s attitude.
Tom watched her, “Why do I always feel like there’s always something on your mind?”
“Because there is,” she laughed. “Don’t you?”
“No, I’m dumb, remember? I can actually blank up my mind,” he smirked. “Or well, not at all. There is a constant on my mind,” he had reached for her hand.
“Oh?” her eyes had brightened up, a timid smile on her face.
“Yeah, Spiderman,” he joked, earning a glare from y/n.
It was so stupid. But they were… back being them. Probably because they were alone. As if someone was brushing y/n’s dream, and she couldn’t get enough of him, his laugh was her everything. She couldn’t help but sigh and run out of breath, and never stop blushing, there was no doubt about it. And she had once thought about it, ‘the day that Tom loves me, the world will party’. She had been wrong, the world wasn’t partying, and there were no flowers blooming and no fireworks. The world instead, stopped, as if it was them and only them. The stars were probably jealous of them seeing them shining even more brightly than them.
“You know, from the moment we met,” he had said.
“When we were kids, you mean?” She chuckled .
“Truly met,” Tom gulped. “Rome, I mean.”
She blinked. “Yeah.”
“I… Why didn’t you kiss me?” He asked.
“Hm? When?”
“That one night, you know the one, lovely evening, I remember I asked for a kiss,” he recalled. “And… you said and I quote: ‘No, Thomas, don’t ask for a kiss’.”
She looked away, remembering. “Because I didn’t want you to ask for it.”
He frowned.
“It’s silly but that’s the way I am, I didn’t want you to ask for it, I was clearly begging for one,” she explained. “I wanted you to… do it. One should never ask for a kiss, or not… verbally.”
“How so?”
“I mean certain contexts,” y/n said. “But that night? I thought I had hinted it enough
“So you did want me to kiss you,” He grinned.
“Of course!” She beamed. “I—it’s not secret by now that I—“she cleared her throat. “Well, enjoy when our lips come together.”
“Oh, so you enjoy that?” He mocked.
“Very much so,” she answered shyly. “And—it had been the perfect evening! It would’ve cost you nothing,” she smiled.
“Cost me nothing,” he laughed.
“I think you’ll find that kissing me is quite cheap,” she pointed out.
He scrunched his nose. “That’s a lie.”
“No, no, I was the one who could lose there,” she sighed.
“No, y/n. Because kissing you costs a lifetime.”
She scoffed. “How so?”
“I kissed you once when I was 13 and never stopped thinking about it,” he said. “And after that evening.”
“Would I have been so bad?” She questioned, “if we had realized it back then.”
“Think we did,” he said, “but you didn’t kiss me either.”
“No, but—because you had asked for it.”
“You’re right… I should’ve, but there’s a lot of things I should’ve done...still can’t believe it, how stupid I was,” he said.
“It didn’t click you know,” she nodded. “When you broke my heart,” she continued. “I mean, the excuses you gave me… They didn’t make any sense.”
Tom looked down.
“And…” She sighed.
“Would you’ve forgiven me? If I had come earlier?” He asked.
She stared at him. “Maybe,” she admitted. “Probably, if I’m honest… I did wait for you to come again with yellow flowers, and I’d have my hand right in my heart, and I would wait for you to come and apologize and I would see it, you know, wait for you to stand up in the rain and said you didn’t mean it, and I… I was angry, alright? It was stupid letting my life pass by waiting for it besides the whole scenario...but then again, it wa shot and it’s still you and I’m—it’s silly.”
“It’s not silly,” Tom said. “It’s you,” he took a deep breath, “and I knew you’d like that… kind of stuff, but when I finally realized it, it was too late.”
“But it’s not late now,” she admitted. “We’re finally on time. And I’m glad I’ve always been so stubborn when it comes to you because otherwise we wouldn’t be here.”
The evening had continued to flow, as both of them had become quieter, in a way that they didn’t need to talk to communicate, between whispers and giggles and hand brushing, it was all they needed.
The ticking had stopped, y/n had noticed. It’d come, she knew but… God, when she was with him, she didn’t have to worry about anything. Because it seemed that it was made for them, all her doubts disappeared because he was the answer she needed. It was them against the world.
They hadn’t talked about Valerie and William, not that night. It was Tom and y/n,.
They hadn’t kissed. Tom had ceased the kissing when James had arrived, which y/n hated, she missed his lips so much her own were begging for them. She wouldn’t ask for it. Never ask for a kiss, not out loud.
She was wearing his jacket back on their way, he had said: ‘I wasn’t cold but I knew you’d be so that’s why I brought it’. Her hand was on his hair as he drove, listening to music, windows down as they hummed the lyrics, and as y/n stared down at the lights the city was giving her, her hair flying.
She was sad, though, Tom hadn’t even tried to lean over and kiss her, not even seeing a hint of him trying to do so.
They had walked in, the guys seemed to be all too invested in a video game, all except for Clark who was rather interested in playing with James’ hair as y/n’s brother yelled at the screen. He looked up when seeing them walk in, he smiled at the sight of y/n’s shoulders being covered by Tom’s jacket.
“Hello, you two,” Clark had greeted them.
Tom peeked to see the screen, not letting go of y/n’s hand.
“Hi,” y/n said, knowing she’d most likely lose Tom’s attention to the screen.
“How did it go?” Clark asked.
“Bloody hell, Samuel!” James yelled.
“Piss off,” Harry yelled, too.
y/n chuckled. “It went well,” she said.
“Well?” Tom lost focus of the screen, as he turned to her. “Well?”
She ignored him and kept staring at Clark. “Can you believe the evening has gone by so splendidly but he still hasn’t kissed me?”
Tom immediately blushed.
“Good,” said James. “Kissing is gross.”
“Is it?” Clark asked before kissing his cheek.
James coughed. “Straight kissing is gross,” he corrected himself.
Harry laughed.
Sam scrunched his nose. “Why haven’t you kissed her? you usually bloody eat each other’s faces.”
Harry scoffed.
“Don’t you dare eat my sister’s face,” James warned. “Or anything for that matter.”
“James,” y/n closed her eyes.
Tom laughed. “We’re gonna…”
“No, why don’t you guys stay? We were about to play Mario Kart” Offered James. “So why don’t you both play with all of us, you know you can sit over there with your brother and y/n can sit over here, everyone’s happy.”
“Jamey, love, don’t be a dick,” warned Clark.
Y/N chuckled. “Fine, I want to play,” she admitted.
“Great, mario kart is the real deal breaker between couples.”
Of course, they hadn’t followed James’ instruction for their sitting arrangement, y/n had sat on the couch, and Tom had sat on the floor, resting his back against her. Y/N was still bothered by the fact she hadn’t yet been kissed that night, but she soon forgot it as it felt like one of those nights when they were younger, all of them playing and yelling at each other.
Tom had left the room without any explanation at some point, but she was too busy trying to beat her brother at rainbow road to even notice.
Time went by, and before she knew it, the lights had gone off, and they all had turned with a smirk as Tom had walked in with a cake with candles.
‘Happy Birthday’ they all sang as she stared at the cake, pretty cake, sunflowers again. Tom kissing her cheek.
It felt… like years ago, the Holland’s, James, and now Clark, too, of course it was Tom holding the cake now, not Harry, and now she didn’t have a wish, usually she’d plan ahead her birthday wishes, because that’s something James had taught her to. Instead, she wished for everything to keep flowing as easy as it could with Tom. Funny, how many birthday wishes had not involved him already.
They had sat and ate cake like old times, y/n smearing some frosting to Tom’s cheek and then kissing it off, making the boy blush and getting James to glare at her. Laughing at each other, telling old jokes as y/n was laying against Tom, his arms around her and his lips brushing against her head.
How many years had they not wasted by being enemies.
Eventually, they had all gone to bed knowing the next day would expect them, except for Clark and James who had stayed in the kitchen.
Tom and y/n had stayed on the couch.
“So, I’m gonna be honest,” Tom had said as he had sat with her, he had left yet again to get something
She only stared into his eyes, begging her with her sight to kiss her already. She should’ve probably wished for that, instead.
“I—this wasn’t going to be your birthday present.”
“You didn’t need to get me anything,” she said.
He had sat up and pulled out a small box, he seemed nervous, but excited. The box… gave her shivers. But it couldn’t be.
Y/n only smiled watching him, resenting her head against her palm.
“I—back when,” he gulped, “back when I was still in London debating whether or not to direct dos-a-dos,” he continued. “I—well.”
“Yeah?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you because—Well,” he grinned. “I am so stupidly in love with you.”
She only blushed.
“So—one day,” he gulped. “I went—Well, you know, to the mall and whatsoever, and—I saw this shop.”
“Right.”
“And so I bought a pair of boots for me,” he said, leaning against the couch, trying to recall. “They were very—nice, you know?”
“Uh—huh,” she rolled her eyes. “And did you bring those boots to LA?”
“No, I didn’t,” he side eyed her, “should’ve, you would have loved them.”
Y/n rolled her eyes giggling. “I bet.”
“But anyway, after I bought the boots—I passed by that shop you like.”
Y/n blinked. “Care to be more specific?”
“The one with the vinyls, and vintage stuff,” he reminded her, but she looked down at the tiny box he was holding, it definitely wasn’t anything from that shop.
“Oh, yeah, love that place,” she smiled.
“Yeah, and I—went in,” he admitted. “And I couldn’t stop thinking about you, everything they had… so I—“
She just waited for him to continue.
“I bought a fee vinyls for me, too,” he nodded seriously.
Y/n bit her lip, holding back a laugh, “amazing, which ones did you buy?”
“I bought a Beatles one… uh, Queen.”
“Great choices,” she grinned. “I’m proud.”
“And of course Rolling Stones, because I thought of you,” he said.
Y/n scooted closer to him to gently run her hands through his hair, he couldn’t hide his smile.
“And then—One day, I went out again,” he grinned.
“Hm-hm?”
He coughed, “yeah, and I walked again to that one other shop you like, the one with the clothes.”
“With the clothes,” she laughed.
“Yeah, you know the one,” he chuckled, avoiding her gaze.
“And did you get in?” She asked.
“No,” he grinned. “I went for an ice cream, you know, I was really craving one.”
She stared at him, so mesmerized by him, even when he was being the silliest. “God, I love you,” she blurted out, without really thinking of it. That’s how it should be, realy. Nothing wrong with that.
He finally locked his eyes with her and smiled, he took her hand in his and kissed it. “Yeah, so—“he grinned, “none of that has to do with your birthday present.”
Y/n chuckled. “Really? I thought the birthday present would be seeing you with those boots and dancing with you to the music on those vinyls and eating ice cream.”
“Ah, that would’ve been great huh,” he grinned staring into her eyes.
“Would’ve loved that.”
“I actually did bring the vinyls,” he admitted.
She kissed his temple. “Great, let’s play them—“
“Yeah, but—I haven’t finished,” he admitted. “I… Well, I've had a lot of time, you know? To reflect on—on the script, on us. But especially the script.”
Y/n stared at the features on his face, fixating on the freckles on his nose as he kept talking.
“So, I kept avoiding the script, even if I wanted to direct it because—Well, it was your dream, I remember and I think I’ll never forget how in Rome you told me your biggest dream was making a film of a ballerina,” he said. “I—well, and I wanted to read it, but I couldn’t because I thought—well, dunno, having something yet to read was something I still had to look forward to, you know? And so I kept listening to the vinyls because they reminded me of you, and I kept—trying to find you everywhere, alright?” He confessed. “On every single face and—The days just went by and I—eventually read it.”
Y/n silently watched him.
“And I fell in love with it, because—it’s you. The script is so—you, it was like reading an open book about you, and I don’t mean it in the way that it’s our story, like I genuinely—you really poured heart and soul in it, the songs you put in, the setting—and, well, it was really you, you know? I know you’ve always loved 80’s movies because they seem so ridiculous but so magical.“
Y/n chuckled nervously. “Where are you going with this?”
“I know it’s your biggest dream,” he sentenced. “And well—I’m sorry I didn’t get you a pair of boots like mine.”
She laughed rolling her eyes.
“And I didn’t get a vinyl.”
“Tommy,” she nudged him.
He only handed it to her, the small box. A very stupid and scary suspicion in her head had completely been erased as she picked the small box.
As she opened it, it revealed a necklace with a small pendant of a ballerina hanging from it. The brightest beam had appeared on y/n’s face.
“I know you’ve—never liked the idea of someone giving you jewelry, especially bracelets or necklace because they don’t hold any meaning, but—I think—I know you’re not a dancer but, I think Valerie is your own special project, and—“Tom grinned. “I was saving it to give it to you on the premier but—“
“I love it, I...No, really this… This is perfect,” she whispered looking at it. Tom had once taught her that roses weren’t always basic. And Tom had now proven to her that this didn’t have to be either, because it was them, and it held such a special meaning to her.
She leaned over to kiss his cheek, and he only smiled.
“I was gonna give you a T—“
“As in Troy?” She mocked.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t.”
She laughed. “I love it.”
He looked deep into her eyes and she just waited for it… But he didn’t kiss her.
“Yeah, so, let’s go to sleep,” he quickly stood up, letting her fall flat on the couch.
“Thomas,” she hissed playfully. He had already left, and she could feel his smirk from afar, so she followed after him.
“So, you can have my bed, I’m gonna leave to sleep on the couch because that was my agreement with James,” he explained, picking up his stuff as soon as she got to the room.
She frowned. “No?”
“Yes,” he replied cockily.
“I’m not letting you leave until you bloody kiss me,” she replied.
He paused and then turned with a proud smug smirk, “Then that gives me even more reasons not to kiss you.”
She opened her mouth to complain, but really she was in such a state of shock that not a single word came out.
“Goodnight love,” he grinned as he headed to the door.
“Why are you like this?” She rolled her eyes, giggling.
Tom took a deep breath before staring her down.
“For the love of god, kiss me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“One shall never ask for a kiss,” he replied smugly.
“Are you kidding me?” She closed her eyes, not believing it.
“No, you said it yourself,” he grinned. “Not verbally.”
“Just shut up and come here, idiot,” she laughed before pulling him close to her, finally placing her lips on him. It felt like just the very first time, Tom and her had that magic, of making each and every kiss feel like they’ve never kissed before, so unique and so perfectly synchronized with each other.
“Don’t you guys fucking dare to do anything,” James was just walking by with a glass of water. “People need to sleep.”
Clark had mouthed an apology before following after.
Y/n had pulled away and then smirked. “Want to prank him?”
Tom had only given her a weird face.
Y/N knew James was staying right on the next room, and that she definitely was not going to be able to do anything without him hearing, that of course, meant she could piss him off, to get back at him for being a dick.
Y/N explained her idea to Tom, and he immediately accepted, with the sole condition to leave the door open so his life could actually be spared.
Both Tom and y/n had settled in their places, sitting right on top of the bed, right against the headboard which was conveniently against James’ wall.
And so they started.
Both of them repeatedly, and in perfect sync started, Tom hitting his elbows against the headboard, making sure the noise it made was perfectly identifiable as something else as y/n was jumping on the bed.
A faint “no, no, no, no, fucking hell, no,” had been yelled from the other room.
Tom and y/n tried to hide in their laughter, but proceeded to make it even worse, adding dramatic moans and “oh yes!” “Y/n!” “Right there!” “Tommy!” In between.
“NO FUCKING WAY!” Now it had been louder.
“Jamey, love—“
Tom and y/n smirked and went in even louder, “yes!” “So tight!” “Harder!” “Yes, yes, yes, yes!”
“No! No! No! No! Bloody hell y/n I’m in the bloody next room!” James yelled. “I’m gonna kill you, Thomas!”
And then they heard the loud and quick stumping as James’ door was open as he ran to knock on y/n’s and Tom’s door, but instead, the door was wide open and he could see what actually was happening, Tom and y/n, fully clothed and not even an inch close.
That’s when both y/n and Tom lost it, bursting into laughter.
“YOU GUYS FUCKING SUCK!” James yelled at them before joining in their laughter, red from embarrassment.
Clark had followed right after, laughing with them. “So that—“
Y/n couldn’t stop her laughter, even tears had come down her cheek as she stared at her brother so embarrassed, watching them.
“I can’t believe you fell for that!” Y/N had laughed.
Clark couldn’t stop giggling either.
“And by the way, thanks Clark,” Tom laughed, “you’re a real one.”
“I fucking hate you all,” James rolled his eyes.
“Now let’s go for the real one,” Tom had joked, probably with a death wish, but he quickly regretted it, “no, no, no, I’m joking! I’m joking!”
“You bet your ass you’re joking,” James warned before laughing again, defeated, “I hate you both.”
He had left with Clark laughing behind him, leaving y/n and Tom still laughing at their prank.
Laughing and laughing until they ran out of breath and laughed again.
“Shit, I love you so much,” Tom had said with one last breath after laughing.
“I love you, too,” she had said, “that was the best fake sex I’ve had in my life.”
“Hm, I’m pretty sure I’ve given you the best non fake one, too,” he had said cockily.
“Non fake,” she scoffed.
But then they’ve gone back to laughing, eventually somehow it transformed into kissing, and they had spent the night kissing, and giggling and nothing more, probably because they were aware that it was a very risky situation having James right beside and honestly, they were decent but mostly because they didn’t need more. Just the two of them laying down, and merging their lips together, becoming one with the other, was all they needed.
The next day was rather perfect, filming had gone as smoothly as it could go, and though they kept their distance because they were professionals, y/n could tell there was something different about her and Tom. Not sure what but it felt like things could work out. A ray of hope, if one must say.
There had been more cake, more people congratulating her for her birthday and just—Flowers. Sunflowers here and there, Along with blue hydrangeas. Pretty combination. Tom had made sure to fill up the place. She did love the sunflowers. Her mother calling her, auntie Eliza sending her pink carnations, it was—good. Especially after they told everyone about their prank, that made it even better.
“You do have that fake sex aftermath glow,” Emma had joked.
Perfect day, a perfect day until the sun was yawning down, she had put on her best clothes, and she was nervous. Not sure why though.
Tom had invited the cast as well. Nothing could go wrong, and it definitely wasn’t going to, right? Y/N had thought maybe it was a good day after all.
The place had been packed and the first song playing had been Ironic by Alanis Morissette, James had been the first one to point it out, he really liked that song. And though the combination of friends seemed like the perfect recipe for disaster, y/n thought it had gone calmly. At least at the beginning.
The club seemed to be picked out of y/n’s dreams, an 80’s and 70’s paradise playing the songs she loved to sing along to. There was a karaoke, too, in the background, separate from the dance floor. Honestly, the place was perfect. Fun.
And y/n had ignored Cherry’s presence as long as she could, she hadn’t been rude, but of course she’d been avoiding her, because the moment she saw her, y/n did feel insecure. She had shown up with a tight dress that gave nothing to the imagination, and her hair perfectly falling down her shoulders, her whole body shimmered. She was beautiful, beyond compare, perfect.
“Y/N!” She had greeted her. “I’m so glad I see you, I love your dress, hun, happy birthday!”
Her high pitched tone had only made y/n even more insecure. And y/n had seen her dancing, she’d caught Josh’s attention, it had seemed. Even Asa’s and Gregg’s attention. Because of course she would, the girl was perfect.
“Is Tim your boyfriend?” Cherry had asked y/n.
“What?” Y/N didn’t know if she’d heard right. “No… No, he’s not.”
“Oh, I thought he was!”
“Happy birthday!” Someone had yelled as they popped off a bottle.
Y/N could take care of Cherry later, who was actually picking out mostly everyone’s attention.
“Who is she?” Josh had asked her. “If it weren’t for Emma, I’d say she’s the prettiest girl in the world.”
There was a lot to unpack from Josh’ statement.
“That’s my cousin,” she explained. “She’s single, so why don’t you give it a go?” Y/N had suggested, knowing perfectly that if he did, she’d take away another problem. Because she’d seen Harry anxious the moment Josh had showed up.
Y/N didn’t know why she felt like Harry did know about Josh, she wasn’t sure but the same face Harry was giving Josh was the face Y/N gave to Cherry.
Initially, she had seen Cherry approach Tom, she had whispered something in his ear, and he had only gulped before walking off to one of his brothers. It made y/n anxious.
“You know what? You should go and sing Jolene,” Emma suggested, y/n could tell that Emma probably was slightly dizzy, as she had dragged her, Clark and Auli’i to the dance floor, a...very strange combination. Y/N was just a bit bothered by this, since she wanted to be with Tom, or rather, she wanted to pull him away from where Cherry was.
“Jolene?” Auli’i laughed. Felt rather weird for y/n hanging out with celebrities. Tom didn’t count… Not in that way, at least.
“Yes, Jolene,” Emma said. “I’m begging you please don’t take my man!”
“Your man?” Auli’i had asked. “As in Tom?”
Y/N chuckled. “Uh...Well….er.”
“Please, you’re dating, right?” She laughed.
Y/N didn’t answer.
“Please, it’s kind of obvious,” Auli’i explained. “You guys have tried to be subtle but we all know it.”
Well, there goes their attempt at trying to be professional. It didn’t matter, honestly. But it did bother her knowing that Cherry was the only girl in there, but thankfully, her own brother had kept Cherry occupied, thank god.
Y/N was also bothered by the fact Tom wasn’t by her side, just slightly bothered. She guessed, however, that he was having fun with his brothers. She wondered where Timmy was, because all she could see was the guys, and Cherry, at the table getting their asses drunk.
Especially Timmy.
Emma had dragged them back to the place, y/n had tried to get close to Tom, who had also tried to pull her close to him, but somehow she had been dragged away again. It was annoying, and the night kept going like that. She hadn’t had one single minute with Tom, and it was bothering her. Tom, too, it seemed.
Tom was very bothered by the fact that y/n kept being pulled by her friends, not that they were doing it to specifically bother him, but it was… annoying. Also, having Cherry around, was not a perfect situation, especially because she was insisting on talking to him. What in this world was she trying to do?
He didn’t want to deal with that, he only wanted to have fun. Besides, a club with loud music was definitely not the place to talk. Not on his… girlfriend’s? Birthday celebration.
The night was getting blurry, to him, to everyone. Half past twelve, it was getting darker, and the drinks had come and gone, drink after drink. Everyone seemed to be having a very good time, and he wasn’t sure but the lights on the club had probably lowered, flashes green and yellow were blinding him. The group was constantly divided, and he had had only a small chance to dance with y/n. The music was buzzing too loud, as he escaped through the crowds, trying to find y/n, and he saw her, dancing with everyone and then, Timmy had dragged her close to him, she didn’t even notice as she danced and sang along to the… 70’s, yeah 70’s song playing. Tom feared it, because it’s not difficult to know when someone wants to kiss the person you’re in love with. Tim was drunk, Tom knew this, and the look in his eyes was saying everything. And though he didn’t see that look on y/n, he feared it.
Tom quickly had pulled her by the hand and finally wrapped his arms around her so they could dance.
Tim had only rolled his eyes but kept dancing with Emma.
“Hi!” y/n had cheered as soon as she saw Tom.
“Hey!”
“Where have you been?” She asked, leaning to his ear.
“Here and there,” he admitted, she only giggled to lean over to kiss him.
Everything was going too quickly, the lights and music were not helping. They had barely danced before Emma had dragged y/n.
“I’m sorry, Tom, but it’s y/n’s and I turn to go to the karaoke!” Emma had said before getting her away.
“You were getting too comfortable,” Tom had barked at Tim.
“Pff,” Tim had scoffed. “You’re scared it’ll happen again?”
“What?” Tom frowned. “I’m-- she’s with me.”
“Yet she slept with me just before you arrived,” Tim had blurted.
Tom had felt the music getting louder, and louder, just as Tim had left and Tom was sunk into the dancing crowd.
He didn’t have to believe him… right?
In the state of shock, he only tried to follow after where Emma and y/n were heading.The karaoke music was playing, Emma had chosen ‘Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man after midnight!)’ for her and y/n to sing, and they had started, happily singing as she was so unaware of what Tom was feeling right now. Not sure if it was anger, disappointment, jealousy, or all at once.
The group had followed after them, too, as they were expectant to see the birthday girl, first receiving a very flattering shot of… Tom thought it was probably vodka as soon as she got to the stage. Emma and her sang and yelled, and the group danced and danced. Emma being such a crowd pleaser, yelling and making them cheer.
Tom couldn't.
Is there a man out there? Someone to hear my prayers…
There was no sight of Tim, that was alright, he guessed. But then it… Tom’s mind went to every single time he’d seen her around Tim. It was so fucking obvious, of course they had slept together, and y/n probably still had feelings for him.
Tom was the only one who wasn’t dancing.
Emma had jumped off the stage to land on Josh, and then without even thinking about it, she had kissed him, right in front of Harry.
Sam and Clark had joined y/n on the stage, everyone was just too bloody drunk, and the song seemed to be never ending. Or maybe Tom hadn’t noticed when it had changed, it sounded like another ABBA song. And it was… ‘Voulez-Vous’. Now it was Y/N, Sam and Clark.
Tom didn’t even realize when Cherry was around him, and it probably was the alcohol working out but he danced with her. Not sure why.
Y/N saw it, right from the stage, but luckily Clark had been kind enough to dance with her as someone else had hopped to the stage to sing with them, now that y/n was definitely not able to sing.
And just as the song was ending, and as the next group of girls had popped on the stage, she saw it, perfectly happening, Cherry’s lips were on Tom’s.
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Oooooooh what did you think about little women 2019? I had some big likes and big dislikes about it myself (also @ me in the post so I can find ur reply!) tumblr so annoying to navigate sometimes
my THOUGHTS are PLENTY milady @when-did-this-become-difficult
I did not like it.
my main gripe is the timeline... not using a LINEAR timeline is the WORST "twist" for this type of story like... the whole POINT of the Little Women story is seeing them go from girls to young women to women. The flashback bullshit detracted and muddled so much. Minus a million points for that.
Second, the casting. This is gonna be long.
Saoirse Ronan could have been the perfect Jo. Could have!!!!!! Was not. I hold Greta directly responsible for this. And it has been literally forever since I read the book so I don't remember how her storyline actually went but some of the things that Jo did in this movie had me like... "Would she tho?" The other thing is Timothee Chalamet. See, those two LOOK perfect together. He looks younger than Florence Pugh, who was probably pitch perfect as grown up Amy and who unfortunately reads and sounds older to me. Florence is like, what, 22? Her face and voice give me 36. Sorry it just does. And Timmy boy reads like a teenager so them together was NOT good. Jo and Laurie need a good contrast. I would have swapped the actors of this movie with the PBS adaptation from 2017 and pair Timmy with Maya Hawke and have our future "Prince Eric" Jonah Hauer-King play Laurie to Saoirse's Jo. Now THAT would have been interesting.
The hardest thing to sell with any Little Women adaptation is ALWAYS going to be Laurie and Amy's romantic relationship. The 1994 version failed, partly due to the actors. This movie tried much harder but you're still left grasping for more. One of the things I liked best was how we're introduced to Amy and Laurie, with Amy being so excited and practically jumping off the carriage and Laurie taken so aback but pleasantly surprised. Their chemistry was ON that day on set. And at the beginning of the movie I thought, bold move, introducing these 2 couples straightaway, it would certainly help the audience swallow Lamy (I'm a genius). Also aging up Amy so that she's 13 in the flashbacks and 20 when she marries Laurie certainly helps. BUT young Amy is a fail. Florence tried, but just making her voice more high pitched and squealing and talking fast and making pouty faces doesn't erase the fact that she looks almost 40. It's unsellable.
Then the movie makes it first sin. It introduces us to married Meg and John Brooke, and it assumes we know this story!!!! Otherwise you're in the movie theatre going what?? who is this guy??? Remakes NEED to still explain the story. I was also very displeased with the 1994 version because it does not feature one of my very favorite moments in the whole book which is Aunt March pulling a Lady DeBourgh on Meg and telling her she cannot marry John Brooke and Meg going "I wasn't going to??? but thanks for your unnecessary opinion" and Aunt March going SERIOUSLY I FORBID YOU FROM MARRYING John Brooke and Meg going "Bitch now I'm gonna!! The fuck" and reverse psychologying that marriage into happening like... Chef's kiss, truly. Meg and John's is such a behind the scenes relationship and I always loved it and I HATED what Greta did to their relationship here. Meg had valid points but she would NEVER TALK LIKE THAT and their make-up would never be that basic and John is a fluff ball and Emma Watson playing the haughty version of Meg is a NOPE from me.
Pacing was awful!!! I was bored!!!!!!!! Almost every significant moment falls flat and I blame it on the writing and directing. Meg being bimboed out, Jo discovering Amy burned her book, Amy falling in the ice and almost dying, their dad coming home for christmas, Beth almost dying, Beth dying, Amy going to Europe instead of Jo, etc.. there was no nuance, there was no pace, dialogue was rushed most of the time for... impact??? To show emotion???? How and WHY do you rush through the "my hands are empty" "no they're not." Whatever the direct opposite of galaxy brain is, that's what that exchange was.
Laura Dern played Marmee too cheerfully, too saintly; Meryl Streep added nothing to the character, and having the guy who played Saul Goodman on Breaking Bad play the girl's father was... a choice. Also, how do you cast Eliza Scanlon and have her do NOTHING as well, like, anyone who's seen Sharp Objects knows what this girl is capable of and YET greta had her play a red-headed Beth for NO REASON. Like Eliza played her just fine but Claire Danes got a lot more to do with the script like... Greta you're not a screenwriter so just stop trying. Also IT MUST BE MENTIONED each sister had legit a different hair color????? Saorise and Eliza look too much alike so greta couldnt have anyone confuse them hence she had to make Beth a literal fucking REDHEAD????? stupid.
Timmy boy looks like a psychopath to me like his "acting" can be okay at times but otherwise he's a red flag on legs.
Friedrich.... first off he's supposed to be older like, that actor was, what? 27, 28 tops???? And the romantic relationship with Jo was not developed, shown, felt, at all???? I HATED Jo's rant at him when he said her writing wasn't good, it went too long and the dude doesn't say anything else??? And he is somehow in love with her, and months (years???) go by with absolutely no contact between them but he shows up and we're supposed to believe these people are ready to commit to each other? Oh wait he plays the piano *LiKe BeTh* FETCH THE FUCKING CARRIAGES. Exhausting.
I think Greta banked on people having already known the story and bringing their OWN feelings and emotions to it to supplement the film like, the film itself provided so little emotion, so little impact. She thought she wouldn't have to work for it. WRONG, LADY.
#sorry if I messed up anyone's names I'm on data and it's a long post#little women 2019#greta gerwig
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the press tour | t.h. [1]
Pairing: Tom Holland x New Actress!Reader
Word Count: 2.2 K
Warnings: none i think?
Summary: You’re a new, inexperienced actress plucked from the obscurity of everyday life to play the lead in the reboot of a famous British Jane Austen novel, and Tom Holland just so happens to be playing your love interest. Of course, love is inevitable. But will it end in love?
A/N: i can guarantee that there will be a rap battle and cute interviews in the future :) also i know you can’t be nominated for an oscar before the movie comes out but bear with me I will explain lol
masterlist || series masterlist | playlist
“Five seconds and you’re on Y/N!”
Your head shot up from scrolling through your text messages. Your ever efficient and sweet personal assistant was standing in front of you, her clipboard and phone at the ready. “Thanks, Bailey. I’m ready to go, just gimme a sec.” She smiled and nodded, watching to see if you needed any help as you smoothed down the pleats on your gorgeous pale blue Emilia Wickstead dress. You felt infinitely powerful in it, which was a good thing because on the inside? You were a nervous wreck. Acting had never been a career you considered after high school. The only times where you had ever acted were in your elementary school plays. Even then, you usually got cast as the side characters, which usually meant the living props like talking tree # 4. Your only main role had been as John Adams’ wife in the fourth grade, and even then you had been given a whopping total of two lines. Then you were told to stand by little Timmy, who was playing John Adams, and “look pretty”. So suffice to say, acting had been a strangely sad experience up until a couple of months ago, when you had somehow landed the role of Emma Woodhouse in the reboot of Jane Austen’s famous novel. You hadn’t even meant to audition, you’d gone alone just to see the process. But after you went inside, you were wrangled by a very enthusiastic man to “read” for the part. And before you could even fathom what had happened, the casting directors voted unanimously. You had to be their Emma Woodhouse. And since then, the past couple months had been a crazy, exciting whirlwind. When everything had fallen into place regarding your new role, they told you that your co-star, your Mr. Knightley, would be the Tom Holland. You even remembered being escorted to the film production office when they told you.
“Excuse me, who now?” You very nearly spit out your coffee, placing it carefully next to you after your hands started to shake from shock. “You mean…Tom Holland from Spider-Man?!” “That’s the one. Great guy, even better actor. I’ve got teen daughters and they pointed me out to him, and I had to admit the kid was good. So we reached out and that was that. He wanted in.” The director shrugged, watching you begin to process that you would have to act alongside one of the most talented actors you’d ever seen on screen. “Oh, is this about the fact that you think you can’t act?” “I know I can’t act. Or at least, not like he can. I’m going to make such a fool of myself, I can feel it. And I’m never wrong about these things.” You were so busy trying to figure out the most effective way to cut and run that you almost didn’t feel the slight tap on your shoulder. “I highly doubt that, for the record. I’m not as good as everyone says, I swear!” You turned around slowly, recognizing the English accent. There was Tom Holland, not more than 10 inches away from you, giving you the widest grin. His eyes searched yours for a sign of friendliness, and he laughed as your eyes widened in response. “Oh my god, hi….. I’m Y/N Y/L/N” You stuttered, shooting up from your chair to extend a hand. “Mr. O’Hanlon didn’t even mention-“ But Mr. O’Hanlon was gone, so now it was just the two of you. You and Tom Holland. “I told him not to, I wanted to come surprise you, I guess? Is that weird? It’s probably weird, I dunno. I just thought it might be better if we met without being awkwardly “sent” to each other.” He took your hand with a smile, shaking it warmly as you felt your cheeks flush. “Oh no, that’s not weird! Actually, that makes a lot of sense. I think this is better.” You smiled back, taking your seat again as Tom pulled another chair from behind to sit next to you. “So, did I hear that you’ve never done this before?” You shifted uncomfortably at his words, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear. “Because from what I saw in your audition tape, I never would’ve guessed! Thought you were doing this for a long time or something.” “Oh, no definitely not! Never done this before, unless you count the weird elementary school plays. Wait, you really thought I’d gone to acting school?” Your walls immediately crumble, as your mouth turns into a satisfied grin. Tom starts to let his walls down too. You definitely were not what he had expected. “Why, does that make you feel validated?” He asked with a shit-eating grin, deciding to try another joke. “Never would have pegged you as someone who needed that.” “Wellllll, that’s where you’d be wrong. I love the praise. I’m a diva that way.” You chuckled, watching him return the action. You liked his laugh, it was husky but still light and happy. He took out his phone, shot off a quick text, and turned back to you immediately. “You know, I think it’s time we had lunch together, yeah?” For a minute, you weren’t sure you had heard him right, but when he kept looking at you for an answer, you realized that he did, in fact, want to have lunch with you of his own volition. You nodded enthusiastically, throwing caution to the wind as you accepted his boldly offered hand. Both of you smiling at each other and talking non-stop, you went out for your first ever lunch together. Since that day, you and Tom had been the co-stars that the world swooned over. The two of you had perfect chemistry in the movie, and fans were, of course, shipping you right and left. When the movie was released to the critics a week ago, you and Tom had been shocked by the magnitude of the reviews. Every single important newspaper and critic had given you glowing remarks. There was even talk of you being nominated for an Oscar. “This is so crazy! This is my first ever movie, and I’m nominated with people like Claire Foy and Emma Stone for a freaking Oscar!” You squealed, hugging a nearby pillow to your chest as Tom and Harrison laughed at your antics from the kitchen. The three of you were hanging out that day in between the pre-release interviews. “I did tell you that you’d be amazing, didn’t I? So where’s my prize for being correct as usual?” Tom brought you a Coke and sat down next to you, grinning as you rolled your eyes. You popped the tab and took a sip, placing it on the coaster Harrison had very carefully placed on the table. “Shut up, I knew I’d be good. I just said that I wouldn’t so you’d validate me, remember?” You burst out laughing as Tom snatched the pillow from you and proceeded to smack you with it. “You’re the worst, Y/N. Stop using my lines on me, get your own!” He teased, finally stopping when he thought you were finally beaten. But just when Tom stopping hitting you with the pillow, you grabbed your own and smacked him so hard he fell on his back. Tom looked up at you and smiled while trying to dodge your blows by holding your wrists in place. “Give it up! You’ve lost!” You pant, now inches away from Tom’s face. You could see his beautiful brown eyes look up at you, and his lips parted to reveal that stupid grin that always made your heart surge. You had basically memorized every bit of his face by now, and you resisted the urge to reach down and touch his features. You had to remind yourself that you were just best friends and co-stars, nothing else. “Darling, I never lose.” The pet name made you blush as Tom grabbed your waist and swung you on your back. “Hey, cut it out! Those pillows are new, idiots!” You and Tom broke away shyly, as Harrison ran into the room and took all the pillows from the couch. “Honestly, were you two raised in a barn?” Harrison gingerly piled all the pillows in one corner and then looked back and noticed how the two of you had suddenly become very quiet around each other. “Did I just interrupt something?” Your eyes widened in alarm, but Tom answered first. “What the hell are you talking about, you div?” You exhaled slightly, feeling relieved that he had come to your rescue, but also a little disappointed by how easily the sentence had rolled off his tongue. Yet another confirmation that the pining was one-sided. “We were just having a pillow fight, but since you’re so testy we promise never to use your precious pillows ever again.” Tom added, with a confidence you only wished you had if you were caught with your foot in your mouth. “My bad then.” Harrison switched on the TV and found an episode of Love Island, and everything appeared to be back to normal. But it wasn’t. You saw Harrison smile slightly from the other side of the room, and you knew he suspected something. You saw in that subtle expression that he wasn’t convinced by your silent denial of his accusation. Fast-forward to the present, and here you were, about to go into your first press tour interview together. Bailey opened the door for you and you walked onto the set stage, seeing Tom there, smirking at you from his seat. “What?” You rolled your eyes, watching his own trail your body’s path to the seat next to him. “Is there something in my hair or...” Tom shook his head, but the faint expression remained on his lips. “No, you just look pretty, that’s all.” You nearly choked on the air, trying so hard to keep it together. Plenty of guys compliment girls all the time, it meant nothing. “You always do, but this looks really good on you.” The wind was basically knocked out of you, and the words you were trying to form were not coming out. “Uh-um, thanks Tom!” Your voice came out at least a decibel higher and you wanted to sink into the floor when he looked at you and smirked. Of course he took some weird pleasure satisfaction in your total awkwardness. He always grinned at you when you did.
“You need to relax, Y/N. It’s going to be okay, love!” You turned your head to look anxiously for the host, who was currently chatting with the cameraman. “Hey, darling, focus on me! That might make you less nervous. You’re not nervous with me.”
You laughed and gave him a shove, which made him pull you in for a quick hug. Honestly, it wasn’t the interview that was making you nervous. It was the prospect of doing it with Tom, who you most certainly had feelings for. You’d tried for weeks to play it off like the feelings weren’t real, lying to yourself over and over again. You never wanted to be the girl who fell so in love with a man they couldn’t have that their hearts broke for years.
On the bright side, you had time to snap out of it when the host of the interview finally came over to introduce herself. She was tall and so sweet, but when she really looked over at you, she nearly fainted.
“Oh my god, you’re actually here! In front of me! Wow, I just…. I’m such an enormous fan. You’re amazing!” She gushed, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear and fiddling with her phone case. You were so taken aback by what she said, but you managed to find your smile.
“Wow, thank you so much! That means so much, you have no idea! I can’t even believe I have fans, honestly.” Tom gently smiled at you both, finding it adorable that you still couldn’t believe how much people adored you. That was just you, he thought. You were always humble, no matter how much attention you got.
“Ready to roll in ten seconds!” the cameraman called out from behind her. She gave you another quick smile and took her seat in front of you both, her questions at the ready. Tom leaned over and whispered in your ear.
“You excited?” You took a deep breath and shook your head back a little. Tom noticed your actions and resisted the urge to hold your hand, just so he could touch you.
“You know what? I think I am.” You looked at Tom and then the interviewer.
“Let’s do it!”
TAGLIST: @grandmascottlang @notimeforthemessenger @toms-order @darling-parker @tomhollandandmarvelsworld @moonkissedtom @buckychrist @rainbow-marvel @cutiehollands @pumpkinparkers @peeterparkr @ibtomholland @inlovewithmob-tom @veronicas-littleworld @da5haexowin @astral-parker @sergeantbxrnxs @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @underoosstark @stormyholland @letscupcakequeen14 @let-me-luve-you @smexylemony @roses-and-sweaters @musicgirl234 @its-livelovelife @steve-thotgers @tiny-friggin-human @lovelyh0lland @blueberry-butterscotch @keylla-dunspeh @lucille-lovely @yeahbutmarvel @petalparker @lokiislowkeyhot @spideymood @yoharryyouawizard @tomhollanders2013 @celestialparker @letthembehappymcu @jnej @spiderman-n @positiveparker @ghostiebois @underoospeter @treegelbman @winterssoldierrs @heycreehere @peter-prkers @tommyparkerr @marvelous-maddi @greekdemigodwannabe @winterssoldierrs @heycreehere @marvel-language @sdrecsfics @doimakeitthroughthenight @wronglanemendes @brokensimpson @naikia @spnsoap @ninetypoundsofasthma @quitetommy @squishyhyunjin @voltronshepard @marvelismylifffe @iluvmesomemarvelndc @annathesillyfriend @tiredfeels @scarlet-spiderr @hedwigthelegend
THE PRESS TOUR TAGLIST: @notes-from-my-journal @lovelyspidey @peterspanish @musicandbokkslovingweirdo @kaylzjordan @puffedgill
#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader#tom holland oneshot#tom holland fluff#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#tom holland fanfic#tom holland fic#tom holland fanfiction#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#tom holland blurb#peter parker oneshot#peter parker series
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The Weekend Warrior Home Edition May 8, 2020 – CLEMENTINE, SPACESHIP EARTH, BLUE STORY, VALLEY GIRL, ARKANSAS, HOW TO BUILD A GIRL and more!
And the summer that never was continues with no new movies in theaters unless you include a number of select drive-ins scattered across the country. There’s a lot of new stuff out this weekend, some good, some bad, but we’re getting to a point where every distributor big or small is dumping their movies to VOD in hopes of making money. But I guess that means there’s a lot more options of things to see, right?
The Virtual Oxford Film Festival continues this Friday with the virtual premieres of Steve Collins’ comedy I’ve Got Issues and the unrelated doc feature, I Am Not Alone (Note: both of these are only available for folks in Mississippi!). Also, the Hello, Gorgeous Shorts block (love the names they come up with to put these shorts together!) will debut with 8 new shorts, including Bad Assistant. You can get tickets to all of these things at the festival’s Eventive page.
For the next few days only, you can also win the Oxford Film Festival award-winning short Finding Cleveland right here for free! The film directed by Larissa Lam that follows husband Baldwin Chiu’s journey to Mississippi to investigate his roots will have its feature version, Far East Deep South, premiere as part of Oxford’s virtual festival in June.
One of the better films I watched this week (I guess that makes it this week’s “Featured Film”) is Lara Gallagher’s feature debut CLEMENTINE (Oscilloscope), a seemingly simple two-hander indie drama showcasing two fantastically talented actors in Otmara Marrero and Sydney Sweeney (HBO’s Euphoria). Marrero plays Karen, a young woman looking to get away after ending a relationship with a significantly older woman, deciding to break into her lover’s isolated lakeside home. There, she encounters Sweeney’s Lana, a mischievous younger teen of indeterminate age who Karen befriends. The two of them get closer as Karen is still in mourning for her previous relationship, but as she learns more about Lana, things clearly aren’t what they seem.
Gallagher has written a sweet and subdued character piece that at times veers into thriller territory but never goes so far across that line to take away from the drama. At the film’s core is the mystery about the two young women and their respective pasts, because we don’t even learn that much about Karen before heading to the lakeside house.
where there’s a lot of mystery about both of the young women at the story’s core, There were aspects of the movie that reminded me of the recent dramatic thriller Tape, where there’s also an aspect of sexual abuse and revenge, but it really never goes to places that might be expected. I’m a little bummed that I missed this at Tribeca last year, and part of that can be blamed on the enigmatic title which doesn’t really give a sense of what the movie is about at all. But Gallagher and her cast have done a fantastic job with a film that’s not necessarily easy to define or describe but leaves you with a warm feeling that films like this can still be made. (See Never Rarely Sometimes Always as another example of this.)
Now might be the perfect time for Matt Wolf’s new doc, SPACESHIP EARTH (Neon), which is all about the eight people who locked themselves into Biosphere II in the early ‘90s with the plans to live inside the ecologically self-contained environment for two years. Neon had two amazing scientific docs in 2019, Apollo 11 and The Biggest Little Farm, both which were in my Top 10 for the year, so imagine my disappointment when neither of them received Oscar nominations. Wolf previously directed 2013’s Teenage and last year’s Recorder: The Marion Stokes Project, the latter being a decent doc using archival footage, and Spaceship Earth mixes all of the amazing archival footage with interviews with many of the key characters. In case you weren’t familiar with Biosphere II, it was an experiment set up where 8 individuals would spend two years inside an environment that’s meant to be fully self-sufficient. Wolf’s film goes back to the start of what was essentially a theater group who put together a number of global projects before tackling Biosphere II, a project that wasn’t taken very seriously by the scientific community because there were no scientists among the group. It was seen as “ecological entertainment” by some and a cult by others, and those feelings increase when it was discovered that not everything is what it seems. When an accident causes one of the “biospherians” to have to go outside, she ends up sneaking things back into Biosphere II, which is against the rules set up by the group. It’s a fairly fascinating doc if you were around during this time but only heard about it filtered through the news and the PR, but Wolf’s film goes deep into the project and the controversy surrounding it, as well as when it inevitably goes wrong. Wolf manages to get many of those involved, including the group’s leader, John Allen, and there’s even an appearance by another figure from U.S. politics who had their own documentary just last year! This is a really strong doc that is getting a digital release and apparently, it will even be screened on the sides of some buildings, which is a cool idea in this time where there aren’t many theaters.
A relatively big hit in the UK, BLUE STORY (Paramount), the directorial feature debut of British rapper Rapman, adapted from his own YouTube series, is now available via digital download, having originally been planned to get a US theatrical release in March. It’s about the friendship of two young British teens, Timmy and Marco, from the Peckham area of London but from opposite sides of what’s become a violent street gang feud. I saw this movie way back on March 11, and I had to rewatch it more recently since I had forgotten whether I liked it or hated it. I’m probably somewhere more in between, as I thought the young leads, Stephen Odubola (Timmy) and Micheal Ward (Marco), were both terrific in a movie that generally had some storytelling and pacing issues.
Honestly, I didn’t understand a lot of what was going on due to the heavy accents (even with the necessary subtitles), but it also didn’t really stand up to last year’s Les Miserables, a film set in a similar setting in France, but that one was nominated for an Oscar after being submitted by France. Besides writing and directing, Rapman also acts as the film’s ad-hoc narrator through a number of raps that gives his film a bit of a hip-hop musical feel. I’m not sure I was crazy about this decision since a lot of the time he is recapping something that we just saw take place.
The film definitely has a unique energy, as the first half alternates between youthful innocence and faux machismo, neither which generally does very much for me. I did enjoy the film’s romantic underpinnings as it shows young love between Timmy and a classmate named Leah (Karla-Simone Spence) , but that storyline comes to an abrupt and shocking halt about 45 minutes into the movie before the story jumps forward three years into something very different. (To be honest, the romantic aspects were handled in a far more interesting way in the recent indie Premature.) The movie does get far more dramatic and tense in this last act, while it also shows what a talented cast Rapman has put together in order for them to shift gears into the very different tone the movie then takes. It’s a jarring change, but it adds to what Rapman was trying to do in making Blue Story an almost-Shakespearean coming-of-age story set against an authentic urban landscape. I’m not 100% sure Blue Story will connect with young urban Americans in the same way as it clearly did in the UK, because the dialect and slang that pervades the film often makes it difficult to follow, but it’s quite a striking debut from the rapper/filmmaker.
Next up is VALLEY GIRL (Orion Pictures), a musical remake of Martha Coolidge’s 1983 movie that introduced many people to one Nicolas Cage. The new movie is directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg (A Deadly Adoption, “The Mindy Project”), and it stars the wonderful Jessica Rothe (Happy Death Day) as Julie Richman, the valley girl of the title who is going to high school with her valley girl friends but becomes enamored with the punk kid Randy (Josh Whitehouse), who comes from a very different world. I’m not sure what else I can tell you about Valley Girl, since I’m under embargo on this one until Friday, so I’m not sure if I can tell you if it’s good or bad. I will say that if you like popular ‘80s groups like Modern English and others, the movie may give you a smile. It also stars Alicia Silverstone as the older Julie, telling her own daughter this story in a framing sequence, as well as Judy Greer as Julie’s mother and others, such as Mae Whitman, who can really belt it out in her role as Randy’s bandmate, “Jack.” This is supposed to open in some of those aforementioned drive-ins, as well as being available digitally.
Getting away from this week’s musicals, Clark Duke co-wrote and stars in his feature film directorial debut, ARKANSAS (Lionsgate), based on John Brandon’s novel. I haven’t read the novel, but Clark plays a lowlife named Swin, a drug-runner along with his partner Kyle (Liam Hemsworth), both of them pretending to be park rangers. Kyle is particularly interested in learning more about their enigmatic boss, the Arkansas-based drug kingpin known only as “Frog,” but their business arrangements get more complicated.
I had a few problems with this movie, much of it coming from the relatively weak writing that comes across like it was made by someone who has watched way too many Scorsese or Tarantino movies without really understanding why those filmmakers’ movies are so brilliant. I hate to say it, because I generally like Duke as an actor, but casting himself in the role of Swin without doing much beyond growing a moustache to make himself look sleazier really didn’t much for the material. He was a very odd pairing with the rugged and tougher Hemsworth.
The best part of the film is when it flashes back to 1985 West Memphis and we meet the actual “Frog,” played by Vince Vaughn, and we see him interacting with Michael K. Williams’ “Almond,” who he betrays to take over his drug business. I liked this bit of the movie even if Vaughn’s accent wasn’t great, but then we’re back to Duke and Hemsworth in present day, and that doesn’t hold up as well. Clarke overcomplicates things by creating a non-linear narrative that jumps back and forth in time and between two storylines – again, like Pulp Fiction – but the storytelling and dialogue doesn’t do enough to make up for the confusion this cause.
Clark certainly has brought on some decent actors, such as John Malkovich and Vivica A. Fox, but making himself the focus of much of the movie compared to the far more charismatic Hemsworth, hurts the movie more than helps it. I didn’t hate Eden Brolin as Swin’s love interest, Johnna, but they really didn’t enough chemistry to make them believable as a couple. Don’t get me wrong. I definitely commend Clark on taking on such a big project as his directorial debut, and it definitely grew on me, but it’s an erratic piece that pays tribute to far better films and that is its biggest detriment. Originally planned for a theatrical release on May 1, Arkansas will instead hit Apple, Amazon, On Demand platforms, DVD and Blu-Ray on Tuesday.
Beanie Feldstein from last year’s Book Smart stars in Coky (“Harlots”) Giedroyc’s HOW TO BUILD A GIRL (IFC Films) as Johanna Morrigan, an ambitious 16-year-old from Wolverhampton, England who gets a job at music magazine “D&ME.” She creates an alter-ego pseudonym for herself in Dolly Wilde, and quickly learns she has to be mean in order to succeed and earn the respect of her peers as one of the UK’s most hated music journalists, even after falling in love withs (and then betraying) rock star John Kite (Alfie Allen, who also was on “Harlots”).
Based on British journalist Caitlin Moran’s 2014 semi-autobiographical novel of the same name, I definitely should have liked this movie more, having been a regular reader of the Melody Maker around the time Moran would have been writing for it. The screenplay she’s co-written adapting her own book isn’t great, and everyone involved just seems to be trying too hard to be funny and failing miserably.
I guess the biggest issue, once you adjust to Beanie Feldstein’s British accent, which falls somewhere between Harry Potter and the Beatles, is that it’s hard to care about her character even a little, since she’s acting all quirky one second and then becomes a monster as the film goes along. Johanna is just annoying and when she transforms into “Dolly,” she becomes even worse.
Paddy Considine plays Johanna/Dolly’s father, who still has aspirations of being a rock star after giving birth to a huge brood of children. There’s a few other small roles from other actors like Emma Thompson, Michael Sheen and Gemma Anderton, many of them portraying Johanna’s author inspirations talking to her from her wall of idols.
How to Build a Girl is just another example of the sad state of British comedies, although there are a few shining stars like last year’s Yesterday, which was in my top 10, and this year’s Emma. This one just isn’t particularly funny, and there’s a general feeling of been-there seen-that, as it tells a fairly typical rise and fall story where Dolly’s debauchery turns into an awful human being, and it’s not like I liked her much to begin with. She isn’t as funny as intended and then she gets awful, and it’s impossible to feel bad for her when things ultimately go wrong. Anyway, five minutes later, everything is fine.
It’s the type of autobiographical thing that a writer writes to make themselves look like some kind of hero, and it reminds me a bit of last year’s Blinded by the Light in some ways. h I know a lot of people liked the movie, but I wasn’t really a fan at all. This movie is even less funny and not particularly original, making it feel about as pretentious as the British music press became in the ‘90s. Either way, it will be available to watch at home via VOD as well as in some open drive-ins where applicable.
There are a ton more movies this week, and unfortunately, I didn’t get to fully watch many of the movies below, though I still hope to watch more of these over the next few days and may add a few more reviews.
I heard good things about Christophe Honoré’s comedy ON A MAGICAL NIGHT (Strand Releasing), particularly about Chiara Mastroiani’s performance as Maria, which won her an acting award at last year’s Cannes. She plays Maria, a woman dissatisfied with her marriage of 20 years, who moves into a hotel room across the street after getting into an argument with her husband (singer Benjamin Biolay). I haven’t gotten through it yet as it seems, like so many French movies, to be very talky, but I’ll try to get to it. It will open virtually as part of Film at Lincoln Center’s virtual cinema, following its debut at the “Rendezvous with French Cinema” series that was unfortunately cut short midway this year.
Also continuing this weekend is Cinema Tropical’s “Cinema Tropical Collection” of Brazilian films, this week’s being Caetano Gotardo’s YOUR BONES, YOUR EYES, in which the filmmaker stars as João, a middle class São Paulo filmmaker who has long conversations and monologues with the people around him.
There are a few other docs available virtually this week, including Sasha Joseph Neulinger’s REWIND (FilmRise), a collection of home videos from 20 years ago, when his father would film family gatherings but also documenting a family secret that would lead to a media firestorm and a court battle. The film will be available to stream and download on iTunes, Prime Video, GooglePlay and Microsoft this Friday, and then will air as part of PBS’s Independent Lens on Monday, May 11.
The Maysles Cinema in Harlem is continuing its virtual cinema with Alex Glustrom’s MOSSVILLE: WHEN THE GREAT TREES FALL, which will be available for a 48-hour VOD rental for $12 from Thursday through April 14 with a Zoom QnA with the filmmakers on Saturday at noon Eastern. The film centers around Mossville, Louisiana, a community founded by former African-American slaves that has been overrun by petrochemical plants and toxic clouds that have forced residents from their homes. Glustrom’s film focuses on Stacey Ryan, a man who refuses to abandon his family’s land and fights for his own human rights.
Apparently, William Nicholson’s HOPE GAP (Screen Media) is getting a second chance to be seen on VOD after a rather half-hearted theatrical release on March 6. It stars Annette Bening as Grace who is dealing with her husband of 29 years (Bill Nighy) leaving her and how that break-up affects their grown-up son (Josh O’Connor).
Following its premiere as part of the virtual Tribeca Film Festival, Emily Cohn’s sex comedy, CRSHD (Light Year), will get a virtual theatrical release in New York, LA and other regional markets. It stars Isabelle Barbier as college freshman Izzy Alden who goes with her best friends (Deeksha Ketkar, Sadie Scott) on a journey to help Izzy lose her virginity.
Also in select theaters, on demand and digital this Friday is José Magán’s The Legion (Saban Films/Paramount), starring Mickey Rourke, Bai Ling and Lee Partridge. It takes place during the invasion of Parthia where two Roman legions are brought to a standstill in Armenia’s snowy mountains where they’re dying from the cold. Their only hope against the cold and the Parthian patrols is half-roman soldier, Noreno, who must cross the mountains to find the men who can help them change the course of this losing battle.
On VOD starting Thursday is Spa Night director Andrew Ahn’s Driveways (FilmRise), starring Hong Chau from HBO’s “Watchmen” and Alexander Payne’s Downsizing as Kathy, a single mother who is travelling with her 8-year-old son Cody (Lucas Jaye) to her dead sister’s house with plans to clean and sell it. There, she befriends a Korean war vet named Del (played by the late Brian Denneny), who quickly bonds with her young son.
Also in theaters and On Demand is Tom Wright’s Walkaway Joe (Quiver Distribution), starring David Strathairn and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, a film about an unlikely friendship between a young boy and a wandering loner, who helps the boy look for his father in pool halls across the country.
STREAMING AND CABLE
This week’s Netflix offerings including the comedy special, Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill, presumably taped at one of his nights in residency at the Beacon Theater. The hour-long special is now available and has been said might be Seinfeld’s last special. The Michelle Obama doc, Becoming, will also be on Netflix by the time you read this. It’s the first feature length doc from Nadia Hallgren, and its produced by the Obamas, much like the recent Sundance opener, Crip Camp, and last year’s Oscar winner, American Factory. The second season of Dead to Me also debuts on Friday as well as a number of other series.
In case you missed it earlier in the week, you can now watch last year’s Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker on Disney+, which means the entire nonology is now on Disney+. You can also watch a new docuseries about the making of last year’s hit, The Mandalorian, called Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian, which has Jon Favreau doing roundtables with some of the creatives with the first episode, “Directing,” now on the service and the second episode, “Legacy,” premiering on Friday.
The new Hulu animated series, Solar Opposites, will premiere on the streaming service this Friday. It’s the new series co-created by Justin Roiland and Mike McMahan (respectively the co-creator and former head writer of Rick and Morty), and it features a voice cast that includes Roiland, Thomas Middleditch, Mary Mack and Sean Giambrone with a huge line of guest voices, including Alan Tudyk, Alfred Molina, Christina Hendricks, Tiffany Haddish and many, many more!
The final film in Lionsgate’s Friday Night at the Movies will be Keanu Reeves’ John Wick, which will show for free on the Lionsgate website on Friday night starting at 9pm Eastern.
Next week, more movies not in theaters!
By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!
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