spidxysense

[spidxysense]

Back to You | 14

Summary: He broke your heart, but you’d always love him. Two souls that not even the universe could tear apart, even if you wanted it to at times.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader x Timothee Chalamet

A/N: Yay I updated! I hope you guys like this one, I was stuck for a bit there but once I sat down and got to typing, I really finished it in one sitting. I was just planning on updating it bit by bit lol. Let me know what you guys think, Love you!!!!!!

Word count: 2,591

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

In a few short months of your movie premier with Timothee, you were finally able to release your double-release album, and the response was massive, to say the least. You'd been getting calls from different show hosts' upcoming awarding ceremonies. Still, you couldn't for life in you accept, all except for the Oscars, which your manager told you was a must since you'd be attending in the first place anyway and that performing at the Oscars was a big deal given that you also starred in films and shows.

You turned in bed, facing Timothee's sleeping face. He had been in town for a week now, back on a break from filming in Hungary. Then he'd be back to film in England in a couple of weeks. After your talk on your premiere night, it was to an agreement that whatever you had going on was just two people exploring and experiencing things with someone they had strong feelings for. There wasn't a need for a media circus to cover anything about you two except your movie.

You move his arm, placed it over your waist, and sit up slowly in bed, making sure not to stir Timothee. The jetlag must be shit. You stretched your arms in front of you, glancing at the clock that read 2:07 AM. You get up, grabbing Timothee's white shirt from the floor, and, putting it on, walking over to the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror, touching some of the reddening parts of your neck courtesy of Timothee, and then you notice the toothbrushes… there were two. From this single thing alone, it had you catching everything about the bathroom, how there were two towels, one black, and one violet, which just so happened to be your favorite color.

You walked over to the nightstand beside the bed, putting on your skinny jeans, turning on the lamp, and noticing his wallet. Inside was a picture of you. Opening the closet doors, the ones hung up were various suits, jackets, and even dresses you've worn to events. Why didn't he just send these back? Why would he let you keep your stuff in his house?

You drag your feet downstairs, noticing small details you'd been blind to before, like the large dog bed positioned by the door despite Timothee telling you he could only ever get himself to take care of a tiny dog. You noticed the colored mugs and bowls, a deep dull navy blue color, the same as the ones in your house. Suddenly, everything feels as if it's moving too fast. You both agreed there was no relationship, and there was attraction, but why does his home feel like it's become yours as well?

You sit down, taking a few deep breaths before deciding to stand up and grab your cardigan from the coathanger, opening the front door and closing it behind you as you waited for a taxi to bring you to the more active part of the city at night.

You just couldn't deal with a relationship right now. You couldn't let your heart get broken again, so you have to find ways to distract yourself.

The car stops in front of you, driving off into the night and dropping you off by a club that Troye agreed to meet you at.

You and Timothee had an attraction, but you both agreed there was no label; ergo, there was no intimate relationship even though you both have done everything together. No boyfriend means you were free to do whatever you wanted without worrying about him. But if you were honest with yourself, this was more of you suggesting something you already knew Timothee wasn't too keen on agreeing with but would just because he thought that having something with you was better than absolutely nothing. You saw Troye waiting out by the back entrance for you when he spotted you and called you over. Almost like clockwork, every time you snuck out away from Timothee, everything in you screamed to turn back, to clear your head, and for the first time, you listened.

You motioned for Troye to go ahead and sent him a text that you'd probably just head home because you weren't feeling well. He gave you a knowing look before looking like he finally approved of your actions and sent you a quick and short 'Good." text, and headed inside.

You walked around for a while after that. Soon it was already just about 5 in the morning, and even though you wouldn't let yourself come to any conclusion as to what you even wanted out of this almost relationship with Timothee, you still found yourself back at his front door.

You took out the keys in your pocket, slowly opening the door only to find Timothee sat on the couch, his knees up to his chest as he stared off into space, either deep in thought or trying to keep himself awake… maybe even both.

When he saw you enter, a soft smile formed on his face, and for some reason, that made you smile too.

"Hey, you." He spoke softly.

You sat down quietly next to him, instantly he set his feet on the ground and reached over to embrace you in a hug, the familiar scent of Timothee that never left you that evening even more evident… It felt and smelled familiar, and right now, while your mind was a mess, familiarity was what you needed.

Timothee lifted his head, worried, "Hey, are you alright?"

You sighed, "I don't want to hurt you."

He murmured quietly into your neck as he peppered kisses, "You could never."

You pulled away, feeling guilt in your bones, "Aren't you even a little bit frustrated that we've been like this for months? That even in private, we can't even say that we're in a relationship?"

You gave you a reassuring look, "We both wanted this Y/N."

You sat up, "Except we didn't… You didn't." You corrected yourself, "You're bringing your mother to the fucking Oscars next month because I told you we couldn't be seen together at carpets for Pete's sake."

You stood up, starting to pace back and forth, "We have to coordinate outfits for the sake of not matching, and we never go out because I can't be seen with you in fear that we're going to get found out. I'm a terrible fucking person, and I don't understand how you're so okay with this."

Timothee was grinning, sleep still in his eyes, "I'm okay with it because I love you, Y/N."

You froze in your spot, "You what?"

He nodded and got up, walking over to you. The blue light of the early morning peaking through the curtain made this moment feel and look ethereal, "I said I love you, Y/N. I've known that I loved you from the moment I met you." He kissed the top of your head as he embraced you.

You shook your head, "No, no, no, you don't. I'll even list more shit I've done to you just so you understand how and why you don't love me."

Timothee chuckled, "And yet despite all this... all that's registering in my head is the fact that you've been thinking of me and only me this whole time. You've been worried about how you're hurting me because you don't want to."

And that's when you realized that Timothee was right. This whole time you've been thinking of Timothee and how much you wanted to protect him from you, but he never wanted to be protected from you because he knew that you could never hurt him. You rested your forehead against his.

"I-I need to go. I need to think."

He smiled sadly, "I'll be here when you're ready. I'll always be here Y/N until you don't want me to be here anymore."

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You sat in your house, since leaving Timothee's earlier, you had been sat there lost in thought as you argued with yourself. It was true, the last thing you wanted was to hurt Timothee, but you were confused because it's like you couldn't understand your feelings. After all, a particular person still held a large part of it in his hands.

Timothee was there for you. Late night at the recording studio, whether through being there physically or even calling you or skyping you, he was always there. He was there with you when you bought all your albums from Target, and he was also the one who insisted you find another target that hasn't sold out your CDs so he could buy all of them too. Timothee was there with you when you had interviews that you almost felt like you could puke from nervousness backstage as he watched you talk about another celebrity you were getting linked to, and he was there with you to giggle about how stupid talk shows were. Timothee was always there. Whether it was dancing, kissing, or even fighting in the rain, he was always with you. He always wanted you around. Even when you rode the subway to get to a press conference of his or a promo for his upcoming movie, he always wanted you with him. He'd run with you in the rain, and he'd kiss away the sadness when you didn't want to speak with him. He was there with you when you get the sudden urge to buy all the popsicles from the nearest whole foods, and he was there with you when you got sick with the flu, which he also got from you. You'd spend afternoons walking around a far-off hill as you two put flowers in your hair despite knowing that you two probably had your busy schedules. Nothing mattered when you were with Timothee. Nothing mattered except each other. A part of you felt hurt that these memories you had kept of you and Tom were slowly being replaced by everything Timothee, but a large part of you also knew that the person you have now had no doubt that you couldn't ignore your feelings. You couldn't have to take Timothee out of your life.

Making up your mind, you got up, got dressed, and left for where you were sure you would find Tom.

He was in the middle of filming a new movie, but the second he saw you, he immediately asked to stop filming, a familiar, loving face plastered on as he walked over to you before being stopped by the director. They looked to be having a bit of a disagreement before he pointed you out, and the director looked at you in realization, patting him on the back and allowing him to jog over to you.

"Hey." You paused, your hand grasping your arm, and Tom took notice right away.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Hey, what's wrong?" He pulls you to sit by the curb as you two sat side by side, "You only do that when you're having a hard time saying something."

You gave him a look, "Well… I came here to ask you if it was alright if I try things out with Timothee."

He looked taken aback, "Oh, well, honestly, I thought you came by to sort things out between us…." He took notice of the way you looked down in guilt, "I don't think you could do anything with another guy that wouldn't upset me… but I don't really get that prerogative anymore, Y/N." He sighed, wrapping an arm around you to comfort you, "The fact is, you're trying to grow into who you've always wanted to be, and I'm trying to do that too for the sake of us and what we could be. If that means that you need or want to date someone again, I'll fully support you, but the most important thing is, does he make you happy?"

You sighed, looking out onto the filming lot, and nodded slowly, not noticing the slight upset look on Tom's face, "I catch myself sometimes smiling to myself when I think of him… But it's like I can't do anything because I don't want to let go of what we had."

Tom took a gulp, deciding that what was important right now was you, more than what he wanted, "What we had and what we were isn't important anymore Y/N. I'm working towards what we could become. What we had was co-dependency and a constant need to be in each other's presence to prove that what we had was perfect. I want us to find each other again in the future and know that no matter how far apart we are, if hopefully, we get together again, there is nobody in this world we'll love more… and that's what I'm encouraging you to do. I want to grow with you and grow for each other, and if that means you dating other people to understand yourself more, then I support you."

You looked at Tom for a second before hugging him and pecking him on the cheek, "I really needed that, Tom. Thank you."

He hugged you tighter, "Anytime. I'll always be here for you, Y/N."

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You gripped your seat in the car in pure nerves. You were on your way to the Oscars with your assistant constantly telling you about your performance and what not to mess up and things to remember, especially about reporters who wanted an interview with you. To say you were all nerves today was an understatement. You hadn't spoken to Timothee ever since you told him you needed time to think, so today would be the first time you would ever come face to face with him. You thought long and hard about everything between the two of you. Still, you think you're finally ready to actually put some time and effort into this… and if that meant doing things that would significantly make Timothee happy, then you'd do it.

Your assistant watched a live feed from the Oscars as she gave you updates on how Armie was on the carpet. Saoirse was on the carpet, talking about how she hoped to make a movie with you and various other stars. You were a few minutes away from the carpet when she spoke up again.

"Timothee has just arrived." then she looked at her phone and back at you, doing a double-take as you gave her a sheepish smile, all she could do was smile approvingly at you before going back to giving you live updates.

A few minutes later, and your heart didn't feel like it was going to slow down anytime soon as your assistant gave you a pep talk, "Y/N. You are gonna rock that carpet, you'll turn heads, and most importantly, you're gonna be the talk of the night. There is nothing that could go wrong tonight. Just take deep breaths and don't trip."

Luckily you were still coherent enough to understand what she said as you took deep breaths to calm your nerves.

"Alright, three… two… one." The door flew open as one of the large men in suits grabbed your hand and helped you out. Your dress was not providing you much flexibility to move, and for almost 15 seconds, it felt like everything was moving in slow motion as everyone was quiet. You found Timothee busy with an interview as the crowd looked from you to him, the topic on everyone's minds for the past few months. As if this were the only proof they needed, they held their cameras in their hands as they snapped pictures of you and a commotion started as they started asking for Timothee.

You think you gave them a quick, charming grin as you told them he was in an interview before walking towards the interviewer and Timothee. She was the first to notice while Timothee talked about how his mom stood him up as his Oscars date, something you arranged a week earlier and something Timothee's mom was more than happy to comply to.

The interviewer looks ecstatic as the only one and the first one on this carpet to get whatever the scoop was here, as she wasted no time when you slowly approached them, "Timothee! You said you were stood up, but you never told us that your backup would be late!"

Timothee shot her a confused look before he felt your arm slowly snake around his arm, "Sorry I'm late." You quickly whispered to him.

His face looked shocked. Almost as if a reflex, he almost pulled away from you before getting a good look at what you were wearing. His jaw looked like it would drop to the floor as he looked utterly awestruck.

The interviewer giggled nervously, already knowing her interview time was slowly coming to an end without any payoff to the two of you, "Timothee, you look to be speechless at Y/N's dress tonight." She looked at you hopefully, "Could everyone here assume this is date night?"

You smiled shyly at the lady before giving her a tiny curt nod, "I know it's a bit cliche to match outfits, but when I saw that Timothee was going to wear a harness, I just couldn't let him take all the attention for tonight, so I apologize, but I've kept this secret from him too just to make sure he doesn't do anything to take the spotlight, that's why he looks like he's just had a heart attack." you giggled.

He gave a quick, playful tilted look to you before blinking multiple times, "In my defense, I didn't even know that this was a harness... They told me this was a bib."

"Bib or not, you two look like the sexiest couple on the carpet, and I just so happen to be the luckiest interviewer tonight." The interviewer looked ecstatic as can be as she jumps up, more energetic to interview the two of you, "And well, Y/N, one look at you, and it's hard to believe anyone would still have the ability to speak. You look gorgeous." She winked at the camera, "But I can't help but notice you just confirmed this is date night… Is it safe to assume what everyone has been wondering for the past few months? That you two are dating?"

Somehow, Timothee finally snaps out of it and looks at you, a questioning look before you leaned over and spoke into the mic, "Yeah. We're together. We have been for a while now." You smiled sheepishly as you saw Timothee's face glow as he wrapped his arm around your waist, "I apologize for keeping quiet for so long, but we think it's the right time to go public now that we've decided to take things to a more serious level."

The interviewer waves a hand in the air, "As long as you two let us in on the secret, there's no problem there." She faced the camera, "You heard it here first, folks. Hollywood's newest and hottest up and coming power couple. From both Y/N and Timothee themselves, now going public with their relationship."

As you two walked away from the interviewer for more pictures, Timothee embraced you, uncaring of the cameras flashing in your faces, "Are you serious?"

You nodded slowly, "I'm ready to be with you completely, Timothee. I'm sorry I took so long."

He shook his head like a puppy, "As long as you're here with me now, Y/N, I don't care."

He pulled away at the sound of your name and his in the same sentence as the photographers asked for your attention. He quickly kisses you on the cheek as you shut your eyes and grinned, cameras going off and commotion started up at you two, the young hot couple everyone had wanted more details on.

Timothee clutched your waist tightly, almost like he was afraid that if he let go, this would all go back to how everything was before.

Before entering the venue, he pulled you to the side, "Are you sure about this? I don't want you to force yourself."

You shook your head, guiding his head to yours, "I think I'm in love with you too, Timothee. I'm all in with you." And then you kissed him.

[spidxysense]

ooohhh i love these little q & a's ummm 12 and 15 👀

IM SO SORRY IM JUST NOW RESPONDING I LOVE GETTING ASKS HUHUHU

12) your weaknesses as an author

I suck at writing dialogue and action WHICH IS WHAT ALL WRITING IS???? So I don't know how there are so many of you who like my work (I love you all so freaking much)

15) why did you start writing?

It's kind of my way to escape reality. I love writing because it's like going on an adventure and I'm not really sure how to describe it, but I like to imagine stories between people that would seem like it would bring people joy to read

[spidxysense]

feel like getting my heart broken on this fine day ✌ about to reread back to you for the 37892 time

I've only recently gone online again, I am so so so so so so so so sorry but I'm working on an update <3 hehehe might be out if i finish it really quickly by the 22nd?

[spidxysense]

Update

Hi all! You may have noticed I haven’t been posting in a while! I’ve been writing (I promise!) but I just wanted to take this time to take a hiatus given the state of the world lately. It feels like everything suddenly shut down or kind of fell apart in March, like the world stood still and we’re still trying to find some kind of footing.

I wanted to take this time to appreciate everything we have. To wake up to my family healthy and happy, I’ve taken these small things for granted because I was never given the opportunity to really appreciate these things.

But I’ll be back soon! As I’ve said, I’ve been writing so I have a good 4 to 5 chapters in stock for my next updates! I hope you guys are doing okay if not great and I really hope we’re all living for tomorrow no matter how hopeless everything seems like. In the meantime, you guys can send through some things you might want to happen in Back to You! So I can incorporate it while writing!

I love you all and I hope the next time we get to really talk like this, the world will be much much happier. 

[spidxysense]

To Tired Writers. To the people out there whose hearts very, very much want to write and work on WIPs, but who are just mentally and physically exhausted right now. It’s okay. It is okay to rest sometimes. Allow yourself time to rest. 

[spidxysense]

10, 18, 22, and 25?

I'm so happy you guys are actually curious!!!!!! 💖💖💖

10. I actually write with background noise! Well, music. It helps me get a feel of the scene. In fact I've cried writing out a scene before. But I can't write with other people around bc I get so embarrassed and insecure about my writing that I don't know people seeing what I'm doing.

18. Not particularly a single inspiration, but I watch movies to get a general feel of not making things perfect you know? People have to have flaws (except timothee, i need to work on that) I have a hard time in making characters suffer lol.

22. Ugh sis, Y E S. In fact, a little fun fact, there was supposed to be a chapter or two before timithee and y/n leave italy where news would come out a week after tom left that he was dati g zendaya and y/n would be all sad about it, and timothee would take her out in a different place, outside of the little town they were staying out and they'd crash some party and while a song like fire for you by the cannons or dancing with a stranger was playing they'd sneak in the backyard and they'd end up in the pool and they'd talk anf kiss, and like i don't know how to phrase it but they'd hook up and at least something even slightly sexual would happen like Cunnilingus or something and it would bring back y/n's confidence back up a little. Anyway i'm gking off on a tangent. I have so many story ideas for back to you that i ended up throwing away bdcause I'm just so terrible at writing smutty scenes and all ugh lol.

25. Oof, as a treat how about I put in a couple lines from the current spiderman two shot im writing and back to you and one from the jungkook fic i'm trying to write too!

Back to you:

You stumbled out of the club, a deep contrast of the way you snuck out of Timothee's house quietly earlier in the night.

You sighed, why were you thinking of him again? You were nothing but trouble, just some crazy jigsaw that couldn't jam any pieces to fit the last empty space. Timothee didn't need any of that. Hooking up like how you two had been doing was working for the both of you anywau, Timothee doesn't want a relationship. And how could he? When he looked like that and was in the film industry, no doubt he'd find someone better than you anyway, this way you wouldn't have to expect too much from him, and you wouldn't disappoint him either.

The rain starts off slow, but instead of running to find some kind of cover, you stand under it, tears you already knew yku had been fighting back a mere few minutes ago funally drag themselves down your cheeks. Suddenly, wjth your eyes closed, the rain stops but you atill hear the pelting rain. You open your eyes, Timothee looking anything but happy.

"Timny."

He sighs, "I'm trying really hard not to snap at you right now and hearing your voice isn't helping." You shudder slightly only to be met by a bomber jacket placed over your shoulders, leaving timothee in nkthing but his pajamma pants and a grey t shirt.

"Why are you helping me?" You speak in a low and soft voice.

He sighs, annoyed, "I don't know Y/N." He scoffs as he chuckled, "Why the fuck do I do anything these days?" He laughs dryly, "Maybe it's because I love you."

You shook your head, "You don't love me. How ckuld you love me? When I'm-"

He scoffs loudly, "Y/N, I love you. I've been so patient but I have to tell you right now, cut that shit out. Thinking there are so many other girls better than you. Well, fine. Think what you want, but I want you. I've always only wanted you."

His shoulders drop, almost as if in defeat, "And i know. I fucking know that I'm probably just some idiot to you. And to everyone else i must be the stupidiest fuck in the world to just agree to be your emotional punching bag, but I love you and when you love someone, you'd do anything and everything for them, and it fucking hurts, but this is better than keeping you from what you want and losing you."

"This isn't what I want." You mumbled as you stared at the grund, "But you'd be so much better off without me-"

"Fuck that and fuck you, Y/N. I don't care if you think I'd be better off without you. Because I can tell you right now, life goes to shit when I'm not with you. Even something as simple as sneaking out of my bed, life feels like shit." He turns to finally face you, eyes probably red from crying

[spidxysense]

send an ask: get to know your author

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

4) favorite character you’ve written

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

8) favorite genre to write

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

12) your weaknesses as an author

13) your strengths as an author

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

15) why did you start writing?

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

[spidxysense]

Hi guys! Just wanted to come on here to say I'm working on a little sidepiece which is gonna be a MCU themed one! So be on the lookout for a new spidey fic!!!!

Also, I wanted to share my shared gaming channel! It would mean a lot to me if you guys liked the page. You guys don't have to watch the gameplays or lives (i'll give shoutouts if you guys want hehehe 💖 just mention you're from tumblr and I'll know exactly what that means!), but I'm currently needing a hundred likers because Facebook won't recognize me as a proper content creator and tag me as a spam account until I do (which is kind of sad)! We play Overwatch for now, but when we get enough courage we'll branch out to other games tpo like Valorant or COD and whatnot.

https://www.facebook.com/Hit0rii/

Also, I'm working on that taglist! So if anyone wants to be included, you guys can jist comment on this post or PM me! Thanks! Hopefully there's enough people to make it a list lol.

[spidxysense]

Hey hun! Are you alright? You’ve been a bit inactive recently and wanted to check up

Hi!!!! This is so sweet seriously 🥺👉👈 yes i'm fine!!! I'm taking a break fron Back to You to write a sidepiece (MCU themed based on the events of endgame and some parts of Infinity war!) Hope you guys are all doing fine this quarantine, it's trying times and our country declared lighter quarantine conditions but since then our cases have gone up to 50,000 (crazy!) So in times like these it's very easy to lose hope, but I hope you guys keep holdong on and believing that we'll make it through this pandemic!

[spidxysense]

I absolutely love your writing. Like full Stan. But I will warn you, I’m team Timothee right now. If you even dare to break up the reader and Timothee I will be v v sad. I know it’s already gonna end with Tom but like a girl can dream.

Gurl at this point, I think everyone is team Timothee lolololololol.

[spidxysense]

You’re an amazing writer🥺 ilysm💖✨

Yo, i am freaking touched 🥺🥺🥺🥺 uwus all around cause u guys are so friggin sweet even though my upload is so sporadic and seldom. There would be no writing if there was no you guys, honestly I wouldn't be writing if you guys weren't all so awesome. HUHUHUHU I LOVE U GUYS THANK U FOR NOT LEAVING BTY I LOVE YOU MORE SWEETIE!!!!!!

[spidxysense]

i internally feel so bad but also really appreciate the fact you show reader's insecurity. from what we have seen, she seems so insecure and even if we didn't really see her life before with tom and all the cheating beforehand, i like that you made her insecure but not as a plot-for-a-chapter kind of thing but something that she really is. it honestly sad however but i really enjoyed when she finally let out her emotions and talked to troye about the tom/zendaya/timothée situation.

Thank you! 💖 This is honestly something I'm trying to slowly develop, you know? Like the main character needs to like snap out of it. She needs confidence and that is her character development lol 💖💖💖💖 I feel super bad when I'm writing it lol.

[spidxysense]

your story reminds me of a movie i saw years back... but the main character is a guy and his ex is just like tom you know after doing him wrong she got back and beg for his love but he already found someone else so when the ex made him choose, he said like you’re my 1st love and i’ll probably love you always but by just losing her (the second love) i don’t think i can bear it. His lines were “I might die if ever i lose her” LADIES AND GENT THAT’S HOW U KNOW IT’S THE ONE.

Oof, I’ve been very back and forth on whether I should follow the whole plot line I came up with bc this fic made me a bitch for timmy LOL HAHAHAHAHA What movie is this?! I want some good movies to watch romance hopefully so I can get some good ideas lol 

[spidxysense]

the fact that i really wanted to see timothée get casted in a movie like this... 😭🥺 i love how he is something new, kind, soft spoken, and he is completely different and I think that’s what the reader deserves. Cause when someone cheats on you, the pain never goes away to be honest, you will constantly think of it every time they go or when you see them because it’s a betrayal and even though you love them it’s not unfair to you. As they always say, once a cheater always a cheater

He and Armie were confirmed for the sequel to Call Me by Your Name!!! <3 Are you okay? :( sounds like something you’ve gone through. I hope you’re okay!

[spidxysense]

ahhhh the reader and timothée together is so fucking good. I’d die to date someone like timothée 😭😭😭

Dawwwwww RIGHT!?!?!?! But they haven’t DTR-ed yet lol <3 <3 <3 but those two are just so ugh so cute

[spidxysense]

Back to You | 13

Summary: He broke your heart, but you’d always love him. Two souls that not even the universe could tear apart, even if you wanted it to at times.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader x Timothee Chalamet

A/N: Yay I updated! I hope you guys like this one, I was stuck for a bit there but once I sat down and got to typing, I really finished it in one sitting. I was just planning on updating it bit by bit lol. Let me know what you guys think, Love you!!!!!!

Word count: 2,591

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

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You were in the car with Troye, it had been a few months since you came back home from Italy, and by home you meant your shared apartment with Troye in LA. Now you were out looking for a dress to wear to the premiere for Celia. You’d tricked your manager to think that you’ve been sick the past week but it was like Troye had a no Bullshit radar. The second he stepped into your shared apartment last night from his trip to Australia he knew you were pretending to be sick so you could miss the premier.

Troye pulls down his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose, giving you a side eye as you glared at him, “Sweetie, don’t give me that look.” he rolls his eyes, “I thought everything was going great? You agreed to release that album you’d been holding onto for who even knows how long anymore. You and Timothee kissed-” You wince at the sound of his name, “Troye…”

He groans, “No! Tell me you didn’t ghost Timothee Chalamet, you asshole!”

You put your hands up in defense, “In my defense, I did not ghost him. He’s filming a movie, he’s off his phone because he’s focusing on the movie and-adn well, he’s starring in the movie with Lily-Rose Depp, he’ll forget about me.” You try to reason, finally opening up your insecurity to your best friend who probably already knew from the beginning.

His grip on the steering wheel gets tighter, “So what? You tell me you let Tom go, a week later news breaks that’s he’s dating Zendaya which by the way makes him a fucking asshole. Now you’re back to being this insecure girl who thinks some pretty french girl can steal this guy who’s like practically head over heels for you?” He pauses from his rant, “What are you two even?”

You shrug, "Which is why this situation is perfect. I have a chance to think things over and so does he… in case he realizes he made a big mistake. I don't know what we are, I mean, we just kind of agreed that we both like each other."

He groans, parking the car, "You two are cute you know? Like I want to bash your heads together cute because nobody will take the first step."

You hop out the car, slamming the door as cameras rush to your presence. Troye's hand on your back guides you through as he insults the paparazzi for hounding celebrities as their day jobs.

He passes by the aisles of clother, already picking something out for himself while ylu see a few pretty numbers tp buy for everyday use, "You are perfect, Y/N. Just like fucking insecure." He trails behind you, which you don't need to be, might I mention." He hands you a dress, pushing you to the dressing room, "I thought you might want to emulate her character so I thought this would be perfect."

You rolled your eyes, "At least Timothee won't be at the premier tonight." You sigh in relief, "He would never abandon filming just to go to some premiere. So that's one less person I have to worry about."

Troye gapes at you, "Oh honey, if you were anyone but you, I would agree, but I already know you're worrying about the fact that he's off in some european country with Lily."

You bit off a dry piece off of your bottom lip, as you changed, keeping silent because both you and Troye knew that what he was saying was right.

He sighs, “Look Y/N, at the end of the day all that matters is, is he someone you see yourself with? And if he is, then why the hell would you throw that away? Or even let anyone take from you? You need to boss the fuck up and I’m sorry if I’m hurting your feelings but I am so done with you being and feeling so sorry for yourself when you know you deserve better but aren’t taking it when it’s being handed to you.”

You open the door with a heave, “Because it feels like I don’t deserve it!” You were already wearing the dress but you slump down on one of the couches, “How can you not understand that the guy I let go, who was my first love is dating the very person he cheated on me with? How can you not understand how absolutely soul wrenching that is? That even if I want to be with Timothee, I can’t because I don’t know how to be with him properly. Because he’ll know and feel all these thoughts in my head and all these terrible feelings I have after Tom replaced me with the person he was with when he hurt me?” The tears are pouring out as you feel the flashes from the cameras outside but you didn’t care. Let them see because you were so tired of not being allowed to hurt, “I don’t know how to do this Troye, not without hurting Timothee, and I don’t want to do that… not anymore, he deserves the absolute world and where I am now, I can’t give him mine because there’s almost nothing left of it.”

Troye looks shocked as he gets on his knees next to you, hugging you with all his might, “Alright, well I guess tough love was the wrong move to use on you.” He pulls apart from you, grabbing your arms at the side and looks in your eyes, “But Y/N, have you ever wondered what Timothee wants? Based from everything you’ve told me it seems like you guys haven’t even talked about whatever the two of you are and Timothee wouldn’t be the type of person who’d tell you what he wants because he just wants you to get what you want.” He smiles sadly at you.

You sigh, “Alright, I’ll talk with Timothee when he gets back.”

He gives you a pat on the back, “That won’t even be for until a few months so you have time to think for yourself.” He grabs you by the hand, pulling you up to stand, “And that dress definitely embodies Celia. You’re wearing that tonight.”

You laugh, “I look like I’m going to prom. Is it really alright for me to wear this?”

Troye rolls his eyes, “Sweetie, this is your movie, you can wear whatever the hell you want. You could even come in a sack and nobody would have the right to tell you not to wear what you want.”

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The light flashes in your eyes when the car comes to a hald and you step out, blinding lights from cameras and the ones directly pointed at the red carpet and suddenly you can’t breathe.

Troye’s hand guides you through the walkway onto the carpet but you can’t seem to get a grip on the reality in front of you. It had been so long since you last did a red carpet which was from The Greatest Showman. This was an indie movie, but given the success of the first one, it had garnered a lot more fans. Luckily you’re stopped by an interviewer.

“Y/N! You look fabulous!”

You smile shyly, “Thank you so much, you look beautiful tonight as well.”

She laughs along with what you said as she proceeds to her question, “So, how much chemistry should we be expecting from you and Timothee in this movie? You’re known to be very electric with your onscreen partners in your scenes so there’s no doubt in me that the sparks between you two will go absolutely haywire.”

You laugh, “Well, you know we did our best so hopefully the scenes are captivating and we were able to capture Luca’s intended emotions for the scenes.”

She nods, almost seeming like she wasn’t even listening, “And how about Timothee? He isn’t here tonight, will you and Armie be fine without him?”

You look around, “Oh is Armie here now?” You spot him along the carpet right as he looks over at you, waving and running over.

“Y/N!” He hugs you, as the interviewer stares at the two of you.

You wrap an arm around his back, “To answer your question, we won’t be needing Timothee.” You laugh.

Armie grabs hold of the mic in the interviewer’s hand, “This is live right?” He looks over at the interviewer who nods, “Timmy if you’re watching this, I hope you know we’re having the time of our lives here.”

He gives you a big smooch on the cheek, ruffling your hair and going back to the carpet with his wife who gives you a wave and blows a kiss towards you.

“Alright, so a few weeks ago, your team released a statement that you’ll be releasing your new album which from what we all understand has been in the making for a very long time?”

You nod, already expecting the next question out of her mouth.

“So is it safe to say songs from these past months since you last released an album will be in there.” You smile, nodding, “Then is it safe to assume we’ll be hearing some songs inspired by Tom?”

And there it was, “Well, you know this album will be a double release so it comes from all these beautiful moments since my last album, whether that be me in love, me falling out of love, hurting, laughing. I just think it’s gonna be such an important album for me since it captures so many beautiful moments in my life that I’m just very glad to be treasuring and emulating in my songs.” 

“And you aren’t nervous at all for any backlash? Since it has been a while since we last heard a song from you and since you last performed live, especially considering how your last tour ended up.”

You nod along, not taking offense to the questions, “Yeah, well you know, I have been writing songs and they’ve been given to other artists so there’s not too much worry in me that these songs won’t be well liked, and in terms of tour I just don’t think that’s something I can really handle still since the last one had me in a really bad place mentally, and this is something I really want my fans to understand, that mental illness isn’t something we can ignore until we pop. We have to handle it the best way we can and sometimes that just means we have to avoid things that might bring us bad feelings.”

Suddenly the crowd goes wild as a car comes to a stop, the person inside stepping out. You crane your neck trying to get a good look at who it was, but the amount of people was too much so you decide against it. It was probably a celebrity that wasn’t in the movie and is going to the premier or a close friend of Armie’s or Timothee’s, maybe it was Saoirse Ronan.

You look back at the interviewer who had spotted another up and coming celebrity, “And here we have George Mackay!” He waves towards the camera, giving you a grin and standing next to you after the interviewer called him over.

“I don’t quite know why I’m here for the interview seeing as it’s not my premier.” He laughs, “But I am very excited to watch this movie.” He gestured towards you, “This is our first time meeting but I am a very big fan.”

You cover your mouth, “You were so great in Marrowbone.”

“So, here we have another up and coming actor, George Mackay at the premier. Many of our viewers have said that you two should do a movie together soon.”

You giggle, “Well I don’t know, only if George is up for it.” 

He laughs, “I’ll have my agent call yours.” He jokes, “I’m quite excited for this one, You don’t really star in too many movies anymore so seeing Y/N in a movie is quite a treat.” He scratched the back of his head.

“Aren’t these two just adorable?” The interviewer laughs.

Suddenly an arm snakes around your back, and you turn only to see brown curly hair.

“Oh my! What a surprise, Timothee Chalamet has just arrived at the premier!”

Somehow George had made his way back to the carpet, Timothee now moving over to where George stood just moments ago.

You laugh nervously, “We thought you were still in Europe.” 

He looks at you, a light in his eyes, “I would never miss the premier for our movie, are you kidding me?!”

She gestured towards you, “What can you say about Y/N? How is she looking tonight?”

He takes a look at you up and down, “Well you know, that isn’t really in my line to say but she looks great, absolutely stunning. I think Y/N and I are the same in the regard that we pick our own clothes for these things, right?”

You nod, “Totally, and I only really wanted to look good because I knew if you somehow ended up here tonight you’d outshine me.”

He laughs, “No way! How could I outshine you, I mean come on!” He looks at the camera gesturing towards you, “Look how beautiful she looks!” You blush at that.

The interviewer laughs, “Well, we just got a first hand look at the chemistry we were just talking about, Y/N. You two look like you’re on a date night.” She pauses, “Now Timothee, now that you’re back how was Europe, what did you miss most in the States?”

He grins, “Well it’s pretty cold there, and what did I miss, well not really too much. Who I missed though is a whole different question.”

You laugh nervously, realizing you weren’t ready for the whole freaking world to know you and Timothee had confessed mutual attraction.

The interviewer points at Timothee’s arm around you, “Now that’s been going on for a while now, do you have anything to tell us?”

Timothee opens his mouth, but you beat him to it, “Well you know Timmy, always comfortable with everyone he meets. He’s just such a goofball that’s very easy to get comfortable with him.” You laugh.

He somehow gets the point and laughs along, “Yeah yeah, exactly. One night during the filming I hopped in bed with Armie and his wife.”

“So do you have any words for this movie, Timothee?”

He nods, “Of course, well Armie and I are just so lucky that Luca didn’t realize we were two of the biggest idiots he’s ever met, and I’m just so thankful that this movie brought me to Y/N here, who is just so lovely and was the only sensible one among Armie and I. I really hope we stay in touch since a lot of these movies you know, once the filming is done, the same goes for the relationships and friendships you build with everyone here.” He takes a breath, “I’m very proud of what we’ve made and I really hope nobody has any regrets with the movie.”

“Alright, well, I’ll let you two get to it. Thanks for giving us your time guys.” You wave at the interviewer and spot Luca along the carpet who was giving you hand signals to stick by Timothee the whole night.

You stand next to Timothee as pictures of the two of you were taken, “We need to talk.” You look up at him, right as he looks down at you.

“Okay.”

[spidxysense]

curious of what tom meant about management making him do things he doesn't want to, maybe publicity stunt with miss z ? and i'm glad the story isn't ending yet, i really want to see what happens to the new lovebirds (can i even call them that yet ?) i hope reader is happy, she deserves it 2/2

First part!

You are reading into the dialogue and I am so touched. Now that the Italy part is over, we can finally get more into the whole transition into the public since they are both famous lol so that’ll bring some hilarity hopefully.