shallowtboy

[shallowtboy]

[shallowtboy]

| :/ | That’s me falling toward a spike | | pit, with kind of an air of irritation |↑↑↑↑↑↑| about it. Sighh

[shallowtboy]

in honor of barbie movie, i dug my Midge ™ out of my parents’ shed so i could show you all just how she worked if you’ve never witnessed it in action

as you can see, Midge has a magnetic pregnancy belly that contours to her unpregnant body

now inside the pregnancy belly of course is the barbie baby. it comes right out, no vagina to exit through. and if you look closely you can see that her underwear is also painted across the bottom of the belly. there is no mistaking this for a woman with any genitalia. just underwear.

here is the baby within the belly. i don’t think either of these is the correct way a baby should sit in a uterus but do i look like a fucking doctor to you?

the clearly very happy mother and child. and discarded magnetic belly. with underwear band.

fin

[shallowtboy]

Everything is better in the fantasy world of Massachusetts

[shallowtboy]

[shallowtboy]

I need to be a well off couple's third and I do not want to be on equal footing with them relationship-wise. I do want to be the secondary partner here, the kind who does weird sex things they don't normally do with each other and gets flaunted like a party trick over martinis to show how worldly they are. I want to sit on one of their Eames chairs and gaze into the eyes of their useless designer dog and realize that me and it are one and the same, that I am just another set piece, and plan my escape not before exploiting their networks in the arts and local politics and penning a novella that leaves readers to wonder where the fact ends and the fiction begins.

[shallowtboy]

my friend’s cat doesn’t care about anything

[shallowtboy]

losing my shit for the second time over cause i've rediscovered this screenshot. A large nelk

[shallowtboy]

salmon and gar funkel is what the guys who did bridge over troubled water would be called in the world where everyone has fish names

[shallowtboy]

starting a compilation of my favorite "no thank you" buttons from when they want you to subscribe so bad

[shallowtboy]

hyewon singing 'hawaiian couple' together by humming urban stereo, eng sub by me

[shallowtboy]

[shallowtboy]

would you smoke with him ?

you already know he's gonna be talking your ear off about some shit you don't care about

[shallowtboy]

it sucks so bad that on top of everything else going on i’m 5’3

[shallowtboy]

soy sauce flash drive

[shallowtboy]

sex is NOT normal

[shallowtboy]

Brad Holland (American ,b. 1943)  

Pearl  

Acrylic on cardboard