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beelovesnct · 3 years ago

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𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐨'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

**note: bold - english, regular - korean

LEE MARK

English buddy; there are very rare moments between the two that English won't be spoken.

Very casual around each other (given that both are foreigners), and usually address each other without the need for formalities.

Mark is always teased in the group, but for once he gets away with teasing Aiko, only receiving a death glare in return (in comparison to the other members who receive very harsh comebacks). Mark revels in this aspect of her favoritism but is careful in not crossing the line to make sure he never loses the privilege.

Goes to Aiko when the dreamies won't listen to him; observes that the members listen to (and fear) the girl more than him, and thus use her as a shield whenever the teasing becomes over the top.

Aiko usually responds in two ways: actually stop the teasing and protect the oldest member, or do nothing at all━the latter is more commonly observed much to Mark's dismay.

Aiko is also Mark's literature buddy.

It's known that Mark really likes to write poems, and so he goes to the bookworm for advice and critiques, and even recommendations for both Korean and English books whenever he feels inspired to read (both of them like to go over certain texts to turn into future rap lyrics).

Has moderate skin ships, which is most of the time, initiated by Mark. These are usually in the form of head and shoulder pats, and the occasional arm around the shoulder. Mark adores pinching Aiko's cheeks, but she gets annoyed with it quite easily, so he does that very rarely (only on the times he absolutely cannot stand her cuteness)

"Aiko! Aiko! Guess what I'm doing right now" "What?" "What am I doing right noooow?" "You're embarrassing me"

HUANG RENJUN

Savage besties;

Aiko's silence should never be taken for granted, as her words can be very sharp and deadly every time she would choose to speak up.

Of course, even her public teasings were nothing out of bounds, that's why Renjun and her get along so well in teasing other members.

She's the only member that Renjun actually hesitates to diss, but that doesn't mean she's excused to the tackles and chokeholds whenever he doesn't have a comeback to her smart mouth.

Haechan is in animated tears whenever these two team up against him.

As someone who deeply values literature, Aiko also appreciates the arts; hence, she and Renjun also bond over that aspect, and being creative in general—with moments of Renjun teaching Aiko how to paint, and Aiko giving beginner-friendly book recommendations to Renjun.

Rare skin ships: both Renjun and Aiko are not particularly fond of skin ships, so they rarely initiate anything to each other. Either of them only initiates when there is an apparent need, or the other feels especially clingy that day. When that happens, forehead or cheek kisses and side hugs are shared between the two. Renjun admits to pecking her beauty mark often [Vlive: 191201]

"Aiko" "What" "Why do you sleep so much?" "I rest so my voice doesn't crack"

LEE JENO

Jeno is Aiko's human charger.

Being an introverted person, the girl deeply values serenity, which is unsurprisingly something that is hard to obtain when you live with hyper and hormonal boys; Jeno, however, for Aiko, is the exception.

Jeno might be noisy when they play games and hang out as a group, but most of the time he also revels in serenity; hence, Aiko finds his companionship just what she needs whenever the other members get too rambunctious.

Often, she quietly sneaks into his room and either sits in his computer chair or lounges around his bed; the member doesn't mind as he, himself, appreciates the silent companionship the girl provides.

Sometimes, either will initiate a conversation with topics under the sun, but their voices are so quiet, one might think they were doing JMSR (Aiko has been a guest already because of this [JSMR])

Other times, Aiko would help Jeno get through a particularly hard level, or even boost his standings in online games; in fact, she's helped him so much that he now surpasses Haechan in most of the games that they play.

Moderate skin ship: Aiko had admitted that Jeno's hugs are the best, second only to Taeil [NCT Life: Entertainment Retreat 2017], and thus opts that Jeno is the only exception in her 'I hate skin ship rule'; but it doesn't necessarily mean she does it often. In the times that she feels the need for human touch, she can be seen to always initiate bear hugs under the excuse of 'needing to recharge', with Jeno complying immediately, adorned by his usual eye smile.

"Aiko" "Hmm?" "What are you reading?" "Norweigan Wood; why, do you want to read together?

LEE HAECHAN

In converse to Jeno, Aiko is Haechan's human charger.

Despite annoying the girl most of the time—especially when they play (and when he relentlessly ask her to do aegyo), much like the other members, he finds her silent companionship very calming and serene. He adores loudness but also doesn't mind the change of pace whenever he finds himself in the comfort of the Neko member.

Whenever the boy is not teasing Aiko, he can usually be found speaking to her in a soft voice, asking about her day and the books she read, and sometimes even talking about his own.

Haechan might not show it most of the time, but he appreciates the girl greatly; Aiko is one of the members he usually goes to whenever he needs advice or whenever he wants to calm down.

This is a four out of ten occurrence though, as most of the time, the older member is caught relentlessly teasing the Neko member, divulging himself in her witty comebacks.

He loves the reactions he gets from the girl, as he thought her facial expressions were absolutely adorable especially when she can't come up with a good response (her face gets all red and she even shouts at him).

He believes, in some way, he's the emotional punching bag that Aiko sometimes needs in her life.

Consistent skin ship: Usually initiated by Haechan, commonly rejected by Aiko. However, most of the time she's tired from prying the boy away, and thus just settle in his arms until he finally lets her go. All kinds of skinship are shared between the two: side hugs, bear hugs, intimate hugs, platonic kisses, and etc. It would seem as if Haechan could not get enough of the cat-like member, much like he can't get enough of Renjun.

"YAH! LEE HAECHAN!" "Why Aiko-nim, are you getting angry? Are you angry?"

NA JAEMIN

Aiko's caretaker

Despite being literally only three days apart, the boy has adopted Aiko as one of the members he has to take care of and acts as if she was part of the maknae line in dream.

Reprimands her gaming and eating habits; tries to feed her coriander (which is often slapped away), and cuddles Aiko to sleep (something she won't admit helps with her late sleeping habits; he gets kicked out of her room often though [Vlive 190816]).

Doesn't say anything about her quietness, as an introvert himself, he's deeply grateful that there's a source of quietness somewhere within the team.

Converse to Jeno, it would be Jaemin, who would often enter her room and simply lounge in her bed, both minding their own businesses. Conversations are spoken in small voices, but these are often short, as both would go back to what they were doing in the first place.

Aiko is Jaemin's official taster; since she's a picky eater, she is ruthless when it comes to feedback on his cooking, making his skills improve tenfold. They also bond over coffee!! Jaemin makes twice of his own mix now, after knowing that Aiko loves it just as much.

Helps Jaemin a lot when it comes to maintaining order within the dorms (something Jaemin admits he is eternally grateful for); despite being lazy, Aiko is a clean freak and thus helps Jaemin a lot in making sure the dorm doesn't end up like a landfill.

Consistent Skin ships: Jaemin treats Aiko like he would Jisung. This often means back and bear hugs and head pats. He admits that he loves just being close to her physically, as she reminds him of an old bookstore. Her smell calms him down, and so he often sticks his nose within the crook of her neck. Aiko often swats his affection away, but much like Haechan, she's slowly getting used to the boy's clinginess and simply waits until he got his daily source of physical touch.

"Aiko, come here." "Why" "Just…come here." "You're the one who asked for me, you come here."

ZHONG CHENLE

Aiko's second caretaker; acts as if he's older

The two members are very casual around each other (partially because they are both foreigners)━much like her relationship with Mark, and thus, find no need in using formalities.

Chenle only calls her, "noona" whenever he wants to tease her; which is ALL THE TIME by the way.

Second only to Haechan, Chenle is known to also tease the Neko member relentlessly, but his teasings are more tolerable in Aiko's book than Haechan's, and so she doesn't reprimand him as much (also because she sees him as a cute little brother).

Very fond of each other; Chenle adores Aiko entirely, much like he does with Mark, and calls her "cute" a lot. Chenle was actually was the one who invented the nickname, "Aiko-yangi" after noticing just how much the member's behavior greatly resembles that of a cat, fans pick up on it very soon after.

Plays a lot of games together!! Unlike Jeno, Chenle is a beast at games, so whenever the two team up━whether it was against random people online or their own members, they always dominated the leader board (much to Haechan's dismay)

Aiko goes to Chenle's house a lot! The main objective is always to play more games, but often it's because of Daegal too (animals just love Aiko so much). The girl has been a frequent visitor of his house to the point that she has her picture displayed in Chenle's room (just beside his picture with Mark).

Rare skin ships: Much like Renjun, Chenle is not one to openly initiate physical affection. It's not that he hates it, but it's not that he loves it that much either. Hence, skin ships with Aiko are often narrowed to cheek-pinching and head pats, although occasional bear hugs are conducted whenever the Chinese member finds Aiko too irresistible.

"Aigoo! Why is our Aiko so adorable? SO KYEOWO!" "Aiko, whose baby are you?" "My mom's baby." "You're my baby too!"

PARK JISUNG

Jisung is Aiko's baby, although her care for the maknae is usually more subtle and subdued in comparison to the rest of the members (something Jisung is eternally grateful for)

Aiko is often caught quietly looking out for the maknae: offers him food whenever she has some, fixes his hair and clothing whenever it goes out of place, and gives him the things he needs without ever asking for it.

It doesn't mean, however, that the Neko member won't openly fight anyone who violates the maknae;

Countless times, it could be seen that Aiko openly calls out fans who ask unreasonable things, such as showing his abs whilst knowing that the member is a minor.

In return, Jisung also looks out for his noona (calls her noona because of his immense respect for the girl)

He is caught helping her multiple times even in menial tasks such as reaching for the things she couldn't reach on her own, taking the punishments for her during reality shows (which often involved doing aegyo), or even offers his shoulder whenever he notices the girl getting sleepy.

Jisung LOVES being in her presence, as he is allowed to play and do whatever he wants without being disturbed. He loves his hyungs to death, but often, he finds himself wanting a quiet place━a quiet companionship, and he finds that in Aiko.

Whenever it's just the two of them, he talks to Aiko in a soft voice, and much like Jeno, their conversation could range from anything under the sun (but it often diverts to aliens and space as Aiko shares some of the stories she read from her books)

Recommended "The Little Prince" to Jisung, and he now claims it's one of his favorite books to date.

Moderate skin ship: It is a well-known fact that Jisung is not particularly fond of physical affection (partially due to being smothered by it his whole life), but Aiko, for him, is the exception. Of course, this doesn't mean that he consistently seeks out Aiko; but when he does, back hugs are his go-to physical affection. He feels as if Aiko fits just right (being the smallest out of all the NCT members), as he places his head on top of hers. Aiko usually doesn't swat Jisung away, given that he rarely asks for affection anyway. Other times, head and shoulder pats are the norm.

"Noona, do you want this?" "Noona, you have to try this." "Noona, let me fix that for you."

nct 127, wayv and nct u coming soon >< [GIFs not mine!!]

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boldbrash-fandertrash · 3 years ago

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Ignore me, unless I’m right in which case I fucking called it

So I was rewatching the episode for the fourth time and one I realized that Remus is much much smarter than we give him credit for and two I can generally predict how the rest of the story is gonna go.

We’re gonna have another aside video with Patton and Janus before the big season finale, and that aside is going to be one of the most important videos to the general progression of the plot.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the pattern so far, two sides who diametrically oppose each other being forced to work together on a problem they vastly disagree about, usually turning the small issue into something much messier than it ever would be and them learning something about themselves in the process.

Each pairing exists to point out to the viewer exactly what issues exist with each side that need some form of resolving, and the big unifying theme amongst them is “you’re not listening to me”. Roman and Virgil dragging Thomas across the cafeteria in favor of or agains him talking to Nico, Logan and Remus deliberately ignoring and working to undo the others work in an attempt to break Thomas out of the depressive funk he found himself in. Nobody is working together here. The only side to even remotely cooperate with the group was Virgil body checking Thomas into Nico, and it took him and Roman bullying each other and Thomas for an entire video to even get to that point.

Watching Logan and Remus interact, one, brought me immense joy and I will be chasing that high for weeks to come, and two, after an ounce of critical thinking was frankly painful to watch. Any critiques Logan offered to Remus were immediately discarded with absurdity and any critiques Remus offered to Logan were discounted as absurd.

During the obvious scene at the end with the Eyes™️, Logan claimed he wasn’t pretending Remus didn’t exist, but honestly, he kinda was.

The Dunce Cap Scene really accentuates this point. Logan pulls a holier than thou, why won’t you learn I’m always right, bullshit passive aggressive remark, Remus does his dramatic repenting student shtick, starts singing directly into Logan’s ear, and makes a kink joke. Literally the words Remus sings are “can’t fix this guy, all by yourself”. Remus is saying this inches from Logan’s personal face and even still the logical side ignores him outright, because of all the fluff around the message. Hell, in Remus’s introduction video, Logan likens him to a screaming baby on a plane, essentially saying “well eventually he’ll stop screaming so just bear with it for a while and you’ll be fine”. He’s ignoring Remus outright due to a preconceived notion and missing out on valuable information because of it.

The dunce cap scene indirectly calls back to learning new things about ourselves, where Logan is completely unreceptive to the puppet bit because of its perceived absurdity and absolutely refuses to acknowledge any potential the medium might have for learning until he physically cannot anymore.

Remus is capable of, and does often, make valid points and offers genuine critiques of shit happening in their lives. In Forbidden Fruit, almost every single line harkens back to some idea the other sides had been trying, and failing, to communicate to Thomas. “Good and bad is all made up nonsense”, “if you shared those musings with your friends i doubt they would forgive you”, “why deny yourself knowledge, say, knowledge of yourself” “people don’t like me much, Thomas, but that only just cause I’m honest”, “these sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man who’s soul is truly rotten.”

Despite all of this, he is ignored outright because of his medium. Just like Logan is ignored due to his monotone cadence and large volume of content, just like Roman is due to his flair for the dramatic and artistic display of ideas, just like Patton is due to his playful and childlike nature, just like Janus is due to his perceived role as the Villain, just like Virgil /was/ due to his perceived role as the villain.

They all have become accustomed to being stepped on by the other sides because of who they are and how they communicate, and have in turn learned some less than ideal methods of being heard again. Logan yells and gets passive aggressive, Remus ups the fear factor for everyone around him, Roman shuts down anyone who tries to talk through bullying and raising his voice, Patton manipulates the others into feeling guilt and covers it up with a smile, Virgil whips out the tempest tongue and incites fear in Thomas, and Janus physically silences anyone in his way.

And here’s why I say the next asides episode is going to be the most important one developmentally. Patton and Janus are going to be forced to work together. Patton, who is in the midst of an identity crisis, and willing to listen to any new ideas provided they offer a valid solution to the shit he’s found himself in, and Janus, who knows a lot more than he’s willing to let on, who concerns himself exclusively with Thomas’s self preservation, and loves to talk when given the opportunity. Janus is gonna have a thing or two to say to Patton when they’re inevitably faced with their moral dilemma, and Patton is going to be in just the right mindset that he’s willing to listen. And Janus is going to end up being right, and the small issue they’re facing will be resolved, which will therefore strengthen Patton’s trust, and his openness to changing for the better.

Patton is goofy, and childish, and kinda ditzy sometimes, and because of that we as a fandom tend to overlook any of his moments that are anything but that, but we are not giving this man enough credit. When Patton sets his heart on something, he throws his whole self into it, and is willing to stand up for his beliefs in the face of extreme opposition, and would gladly do anything in his power to defend his family. Once Patton decides that he’s willing to grow, and if he believes that this growth will help put his family back together, nothing can stop him, and that will be absolutely crucial for the growth of all the other sides around him.

Whatever him and Janus discuss during their aside will absolutely give Patton the information he needs to help stitch together the rift between everyone.

I predict the next official Sanders Sides video is going to be the longest one yet, possibly over an hour long, because there’s a LOT of work that is going to need to be done, and Everyone is going to be in it. The big issue of “you’re not listening to me” won’t be resolved, but it will be acknowledged in a serious light by everyone. We won’t be getting any appearances from the Orange Side I don’t think, that would end up just complicating matters even more when each character is already incredibly shaky in their own identity.

Something less than ideal is gonna happen between Thomas and Nico, he’s gonna summon the initial three to deal with the matter but the other lads are gonna worm their way into the discussion, everyone’s gonna start screaming at each other, and Pattons gonna do something that stuns everyone else into silence (I’m guessing he’ll start crying, considering the start of season two was all about him repressing negative emotions and what better way to show character growth than to sob openly on camera).

Once everyone just fucking stops for ten seconds that’s when the apologies start. None of the sides are ever the first to apologize, we’ve seen that time and time again. Their desire to be in the right as well as their pride will always get in the way, however if someone starts the apology train everyone will eventually follow suit. We see that in Alone On Valentines Day, My Negative Thinking, Growing Up, Accepting Anxiety, Fitting In, Moving On, actually in pretty much every video where an apology actually takes place, once one person apologizes the other will immediately follow suit.

Patton is gonna be a goddamn mess, he’s gonna apologize to everyone in the room for anything he thinks he may have done to wrong them, and that’s gonna be what gets everyone to acknowledge all the shit they’ve put each other through, and the others are going to jump between trying to console him and trying to apologize to each other. They’re going to come to the unified decision that they need to work together more on future issues, the group is all going to offer up a solution and decide together on a remedy to whatever happened together between Thomas and Nico, and that will be that. Season three will be about them finding the balance between stepping on toes and being stepped over, while also working out how the orange side fits into everything.

Thus marking the end of my rant.

I started writing this at 2 and it’s now 4. I have to be up in three hours. I have an essay due at 3pm tomorrow that I haven’t started, but instead I typed up all this bullshit. I hope any of this made any sense, and I hope this is a suitable replacement for my emotions essay that’s completely untouched because chances are this is what I’m presenting to my therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck.

#sorry for no page break I’m on mobile #I’ll be fixing that in the morning after some well deserved rest #thomas sanders #sanders sides #ts sanders sides #ts spoilers #ts patton #ts Logan #ts roman #ts Virgil #ts Janus #ts Remus #ts theory

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thebeautysurrounds · 3 years ago

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THIS CONTAINS SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR NEVER HAVE I EVER S2 READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This is quite long I had a lot to unpack.

Since watching the 2nd season of Never Have I Ever a few things have been bothering me about the way people are reacting to Devi, and the show overall but mostly Devi. First of all she’s what a sophomore in high school? and she’s doing this all while being the only brown girl (up until kinda the middle of S2) and still dealing with grief and having absolutely no idea who she is yet. To me outside of being an honor roll student she is not doing things FOR HER she is doing this to appease her mother. Who while she means well pushing Devi to succeed to certain extremes which if Devi shows the slightest behavior of fucking up her mother makes harsh comments instead of understanding Devi is a literal teenager and needs room for fucking up.

Is Devi hella unreasonable at times? YES does she often times act strictly on impulse without a second thought…YES. But as a girl who virtually has no one outside of her friends who also are staring to drift from her and get into their first relationships themselves and have their own activities she essentially is left to navigate the world and her teenage angst alone. While I will give Nalini credit for all the work and time she has put in to not only being a single mother and navigating her own grief but also being a working mother who is a doctor and quite possibly has her own struggles with being a brown women in that filed. My problem lies with her not being able to balance or even let go of a strong arm parenting style that mostly focuses on Devi’s fuck up more than her accomplishments and makes comments on how her fuck ups that haven’t even happened yet. I’m not sure Nalini even realizes Devi is at the very very top of her class because I truly believe (after S1) even though Nalini apologized to Devi Nalini has a ‘hoping for the best but expecting the worst’ attitude when it comes to Devi and that’s in the for front of her mind so much she doesn’t realize Devi goes above and beyond not only for herself but to make her mother proud of her all for her mother to just not acknowledge that.

Now with Devi’s characterization I get where some people are coming from on saying Devi shouldn’t have been “boy crazy” or that they “ruined her character development” but here’s my problem those critiques while valid and your allowed to have those opinions…It’s just not really realistic and let me tell you why like I stated Devi is what a sophomore in high school and she has made it a abundantly clear her parents forbid her to date cause it’s school and extra curriculars only. Which will lead to a good college which thus will turn into a good career. While that’s all well and good. I don’t think y’all realize the FOMO of being in high school and growing up with very strict parents, and wanting to have your first relationship. Wanting to be an actual teenager and not wanting to think about 3-4 years down the line which most teenagers don’t/can’t visualize cause it’s not the right now. Devi wants to have those experiences and there’s nothing wrong with that does she go about it the right way…not exactly but y’all act like YOU have never been a teenager and said and done awful things out of anger or just pure immature stupidity. For the boy crazy part Devi is literally having her first feelings and experiences with boys she has 0 clue what she is doing outside of probably books, tv, movies and what her friends assume they know (even though they mean well) the only person Devi would remotely trusts is gone, and she can’t ask her mother cause her mother would honestly probably shut her down and make her feel guilty for even wanting to start having her first experiences with boys. Y’all have such a warped view of not only real teenagers and high school aged kids but also fictional ones. Y’all are so use to shows having protagonist being awful or starting off kinda okay but then their character turns awful and remains that way. What some of you fail to realize is actual teenagers and “teenagers” in shows can/are VERY morally grey.

Should Devi have been honest and possibly communicated to both Ben and Paxton that she has some sort of feelings for them both..possibly but Devi is a teenager do you think she is having a in depth analysis and talk with herself (outside of a pros and cons list) about what infatuation versus lust versus genuine connection versus romantic attraction looks like probably not. Let’s also analyze how she literally goes from being in her eyes forgettable to being noticed and even though it’s not talked about in the show explicitly she honestly probably struggles with self esteem/self image issues. To go from being a girl who to her no one cares about/notices to one who is getting the attention of two boys who are in Devi’s eyes attractive in their own right. She is so consumed with two guys ACTUALLY being interested in her that she fails to realize she is/and will hurt them both, Do I think Paxton is genuinely attracted to Devi…maybe. But I’m still on the fence about their relationship to me in the beginning I felt Paxton felt Devi is just another meaningless high school fling that he will forget about once he gets to college but to Devi here’s this guy who is “popular” very attractive and he pays attention to her is she looking at the semantics of the situation and how Paxton is more than likely just using her and is only engaging with Devi to get a passing grade and to basically give her the superficial experience of a “high school boyfriend” no she’s not she’s looking at it like here’s this guy who is attractive and he wants to be with someone like me. But do I also believe Devi in S1 was using Paxton and then fell for him DEFINITELY but I will give credit to Paxton for trying at a real relationship with Devi and I hope he will try to be more open and honest.

Do I think Ben likes Devi I honestly do, While the insensitive jokes (exchanged between both) should be discussed I think Ben over time started to see Devi as a girl who finally saw him not the rich, annoying, know it all. But in his view Devi and him are on equal playing fields because they are both overly driven smart individuals and when she said yes to going out with him it was probably the first time he felt like a girl saw the real him. While Ben too more than likely struggles with abandonment issues him dating Devi in a way made him feel like this was the first time he could actual be happy about something cause it was something he actually wanted and not something he just did to earn points in others books and impress people he genuinely got something on his own and that he was actually happy not a front he put on. To me Ben’s abandonment issues come out even more than in S1 when he tells Devi why he’s so hurt and it’s the night of the party when she runs after Paxton (who he sees has it all) and Devi doesn’t “choose him” Do I think Ben and Devi should date cause they share some form of the same trauma no. But again Devi is not use and doesn’t even know what to do with the attention of two people. Again is Devi looking at the semantics of her relationship with Ben…No. I don’t think Devi even realizes she’s quite literally hurting two people cause we could also discuss how Ben and Paxton probably have had other flings and relationships without a second thought while Devi having no relationship experiences and this is territory for her and she has no idea what she is doing or how to properly navigate this situation.

I’m almost done with this long ass rant I promise but it’s two more things I want to make light of/point out I don’t think anyone really gives Devi credit for still going to therapy, loosing a parent is unbearable especially loosing one as young as Devi did, especially when you feel the only parent that truly understood and supported you is gone. Devi doing things that are impulsive and unreasonable because she quite literally has no guidance her mother is only consumed with Devi not making the family “look bad” Devi’s grief is so heavy and she feels she’s going at it alone because her mother doesn’t take genuine time to talk to her. Now was Devi “stalking” her mother extremely inappropriate yes for sure but do Nalini and her need to communicate better for Devi to understand that her mother wasn’t dating sure even if Nalini was on a date their should have been communication there. Devi will probably never stop grieving her father hell he literally came to her in a dream to tell her she deserves better when it came to “dating” Paxton and Nalini will probably never stop grieving her husband but she deserves happiness too and I believe if Devi and Nalini were both honest with each other her slowly dating again wouldn’t have been a problem. Another point I wanna make connecting Devi, Paxton, and Ben is they all have this view that the grass is greener on the other side and that’s just not the case. Ben is jealous of Paxton cause he feels he has the “Perfect life” but in actuality Paxton is extremely flawed and honestly insecure his own family doesn’t believe in him and he knows people only like him because he is attractive, while Paxton looks at Ben like this, while annoying Ben is smart, rich, and no one ever questions Ben’s intelligence but in actuality Ben is very lonely and has spent most of his life alone or being raised by other people which has caused him to put on a huge front to people and often times overcompensate in his social life, and Devi looks at other girls like they have it all and have 0 struggles or problems (I.e her views on Anissa) but Devi fails to realize thy also struggle, are insecure, is struggling with mental illness, and don’t have themselves figured out, and Devi is looking at this man her mom is “dating” as if he’s taking something away but In actuality he is experiencing his own losses. All in all Never Have I Ever gets teenage angst and messy problematic morally grey teenagers right and the fact that y’all beg for more “flawed or problematic” characters and when you get them you don’t like that they are just that it’s odd to me it seems like y’all only want problematic characters if it’s how you see fit.

TL;DR: Y’all need to stop acting like y’all weren’t gross annoying and had fuck ups as teenagers y’all should really stop pretending like teenagers in real and some of us as teens didn’t have/engage in relationships that weren’t good but we learned from it while this show isn’t real it shows y’all will scream let people fuck up and let them grow but you don’t actually mean it. Devi is a teenager and requires room to grow she even admits she acts out and is impulsive but y’all act like she’s supposed to have the self awareness of a 60 year old.

#netflix never have i ever #never have i ever season 2 #tv show #never have i ever #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #ben gross #nalini vishwakumar #maitreyi ramakrishnan #darren barnet #Poorna Jagannathan #jaren lewison #rant #analysis #spoilers #never have I ever spoilers #I wrote this at like 2am so if it doesn’t make much sense 🤷🏾‍♀️#I just had to get these thoughts out there cause it’s been on my mind

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babylooneytoonz · 4 years ago

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Warnings: These two just can't stop fighting // them being adorable // poor jokes

Please find all the other links to other parts in the Master list.

You looked at yourself in the mirror for probably the tenth time. Were you looking trashy ? Not really. You ran your hands through your hair, ruffling them up just the right amount so that they looked bouncy as your fingers moved on to the lipstick. Were you looking just too plain? You groaned at youself for probably the twentieth time, but this time you grabbed the red lipstick. It was a bold choice, red lipstick, a plaid checkered shirt, and a pencil jeans, not to forget your heels, that you never really wore.

"Damn girl, you really look great," Wanda tossed herself against your mattress, her eyes plastered on you. "Lucah will go crazy, I tell you."

"How do you even know this guy again?" You raised your eyebrow, looking at her through your mirror, as you slid your glasses back on and scanned at yourself one last time.

"He was Pietro's bestfriend."

You noticed Wanda zone out, probably lost in some old memories. You knew memories were bitches; so it was better not to scratch them up, so you decided to change the topic.

"Is he hot?"

"Smokin'." Wanda smirked, propping herself up as she walked up to you, "Think a strong , muscular back, veiny arms, the guy can flex, sandy blond hair."

"Jeez, I can really picture Steve right now."

Your words were enough to send Wanda into a snort, followed by a carefree laugh as she shook her head.

"Na, Steve is more, I don't know, decent looking? Lucah, I'd say he's 21st century, Steve likes jazz, Lucah likes R&B. They're like poles apart?"

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but since you already texted him three times just to make sure he arrived on time to pick me up, I'm sure the guy is probably waiting for me right now." You grinned, grabbing your purse. As if on cue, Friday's voice rang through your room, informing you that your date had arrived downstairs to pick you up and Wanda's grin just widened.

"I'll see you later, babe, have fun." She winked teasingly and you gave her a last smile before you practically ran out towards the elevator.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Wanda was right, the guy looked handsome. He was just the right amount of handsome, and you did look good when you sat clinging to him while he rode his motorcycle through town, all the efforts you had put into setting your hair down the drain. He had complimented you, the first thing he saw you, how beautiful you were, and who were you kidding, it had been ages someone had said that, and you were already blushing a scarlet red. When he asked you if you had something planned out for the day for you had already communicated through Wanda that you were planning the date this time, you gave him a tight lipped smile.

Thus, the two of you found yourselves seated at an open air cafe that was directly in front of the entrance of the movie theater, on the opposite side of the road.

So far, the date wasn't going good. Of course, you were sitting there, right across from him, giving him the most bored looks ever. Not that he was bad, maybe you just weren't feeling it, or you had been off the market and under the radar for so long, you had forgotten what made a date a really fabulous date. Also, your eyes found themselves trailing over the cineplex doors, wondering when the afternoon show of the only movie that was playing there today will get over.

"So, Y/N, the Avengers huh? How does it feel to be one of them?" Lucah just said, trying to lighten up the weirdness that was already bubbling up inside of you. On the table, in front of you, your untouched plate of fries, and a cappuccino lay, while he was happily gobbling up the nachos, at a pace much faster than yours.

Your breath left your lips rather loudly, when you finally saw the doors open, and people started to tumble out, discussing the movie and mostly critiquing it.

"Hey, are you listening -"

Your eyes lit up in excitement, when you saw just the people your eyes had been waiting to see, followed by an obvious scowl that crept up on your lips. Bucky had his arm wrapped around her still, and although he didn't appear to be smiling, he wasn't frowning either, so you assumed that he did have a good time, except for when he looked at her with slight irritation when she would bring up her palm, holding two popcorns between her fingers as she tried feeding him.

"Cringy as fuck," you blurted out in a low annoyed voice, and Lucah just looked at you, his frown now obvious as he turned to follow your gaze to look at what you were looking at, or who.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Life of an Avenger, I meant."

He nodded and sat back, staring down at his hands. He wasn't sure suddenly why he was even here, and hadn't he left already. Although you were pretty, he was sure of that, he didn't really seem to find you interesting and you only seemed like you were distracted, looking around, not even having your fries, that laid abandoned on the table.

Suddenly, Bucky's eyes, like a magnet flew towards you, but you at the right time, you turned your gaze away, fixing it on Lucah and leaned forward, reaching out and placing your palm on his hand that was laying on the table. You threw out the sauciest smiles that you could, parting your lips, your tongue sneaking out and moistening your lower lip. Slowly, you stood up and cleared your throat, you knew that Bucky was watching you now, you could feel his burning gaze on you.

You walked over to where Lucah was seated, round the table; and boy, did he look scared at what you were going to do, and not to mention, totally confused. You didn't understand what got into you, it was like you were suddenly on fire, and you wanted to put on a good show, for Bucky's eyes. You lowered yourself on Lucah's lap, his arm snaking around your waist in reflex. He didn't push you away, he was so startled, and even before he could push you away, you didn't give him the time; you smashed your lips against his, leaning down on him, your nails almost digging into his shoulder, your other hand holding him by his head, your fingers matted into his hair.

Bucky kept watching, from afar. His eyes had darkened two shades, and his face had a look, a look that said, if anyone would even dare mess with him now, he would rip them apart into pieces. He let out a frustrated grunt, and the woman next to him stopped blabbering and looked at him, frowning at his sudden outburst.

"Let's go and eat at that cafe, I'm starving," Bucky grumbled, under his voice, grabbing the woman's hand and walking her towards the open roof cafe, eyeing the table just next to yours.

As Bucky and the woman passed you by, he intentionally cleared his throat so loudly, you had to break your kiss, but the smug smirk on your lips meant that you knew that what you wanted to do had had the desirable effect on him, and that was what made you feel even more better.

"Well, that was nice," You brought your palm up to Lucah's cheeks, your thumb grazing against the stain that your ravaged lipstick had left against his soft, plump ones. You finally stood up again, straightening your dress, and running your hands through your hair until you walked back to your chair, sliding down against it. Your breathing was hitched, your ears felt warm, and your cheeks were heating up.

"I don't get it these days, with people and their cheap, corny as fuck public display of affection." Bucky suddenly began, causing you and Lucah to snap your head towards the table next to you; your eyes narrowed. Bucky just sat there, lounging against the back of the chair, sipping on some soda through the straw, his eyes fixed on the blonde.

"Well, excuse me but are you talking about-" Lucah began to speak in a low voice, but you cut him off, reaching oit for Lucah, until you had taken his hand, your fingers coiled with his.

"You know some people are just so closed off, they would suck at this PDA thing, and knowing they can't do it, they just like to comment on others," you said those words loud enough so Bucky could hear them, and then you grabbed a fry, tossing it into your mouth, sitting back more comfortably. If anyone could see the scene unfurl, it would have been hilarious to watch.

"Maybe we just have more class, and prefer to fool around at more private places."

If you had eyes on your side, you would sure have seen the widest smirk on Bucky's face. But even without taking a look at him, you knew he was smirking.

"Private places? Like what? The back of a theater? Who even does that? What are you? Like 16? Get a room," you snapped.

"Well, you have a room, but do you have a partner to share it with?"

Before you could come back with a reply to what Bucky had just said, your eyes skid to where Lucah was. He had stood up, making a ruckus with his chair, to snap you out of whatever you had going on. He cleared his throat, slammed a few notes for the date on the table, and walked off, his leather jacket dangling from his shoulder. He, however, made his way to the blonde sitting opposite Bucky, who had a clear scowl on her face.

"Maybe you would like to get another table? And we could just leave them alone?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," the woman stood up, clearly giving Bucky the cold shoulder and she unzipped her purse, and pulled out a few dollars, almost throwing them into Bucky's face. He was taken aback, and was ready to say something to her, when you suddenly called out, "Hey blondie, you do realize that metal arm can choke you right? And I'm not talking about choking you in bed. The guy took you to the movies, the least you can do is be a little respectful."

Their heavy footsteps vanished away; and you finally craned your neck towards Barnes, your eyes finally meeting his. He had an amused look playing on his face. It wasn't a smirk, but it wasn't a smile either. It was a mix of them both.

"What?" You mumbled, in a low voice, reaching out and grabbing your fry.

"Mhm, nothing, just wondering why you defended me."

Another fry was awkwardly stuffed into your mouth, followed by a sip of your cappuccino.

"So I could be the one to insult you the next time."

A silence fell on the two of you and now, you averted your eyes. You didn't want to look at him, so now you didn't know what he was doing, or what he was probably thinking. You could hear him aimlessly tapping his palm against the table but the sound suddenly stopped. You heard him stand up, and then he moved to the chair that laid abandoned in front of you, pulling it out and propping himself down against it.

"Well, it's just the two of us now, and that's a lot of fries, you sure you can eat them alone?" Your lips twitched, but you bit on your tongue to control yourself from giving him the widest smile that you could give him, as you saw his hand inching towards your plate. You swatted his hand with yours at the exact time he grabbed a fry, but he was fast, he had already pulled back and pushed the fry into his mouth.

"Don't put your fingers into my fries, I don't even want to think about the places your, uh, fingers have been while back at the movies." You made a gagging face, and Bucky's face turned red for a second, and he just started coughing, and grinning at the same time.

"We were watching Wall-E."

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's-"

"The only place my fingers were was into the bucket of caramel popcorn. Who the hell prefers caramel anyway?"

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

"I can't believe it," you smirked; almost widening your eyes in the most dramatic way while Bucky just rolled his eyes and shook his head, looking at you. "You've been fucking around with that one for weeks, and you've not even asked her what her name was?"

"She did tell me her name, I just forget. It was Maggie or Pastry, I don't even remember. Who the hell is even called Pastry?"

"Barnes, my cat's name was Pastry, are you fucking saying it wasn't a good name?"

"For a human, not a cat." He just smirked, leaning forward.

You were sitting on a swing, your heels laying abandoned next to where Bucky sat on a bench, from where he could see you; your feet grazing against the dew on the grass. It was pretty late at night, well not that late, but it was almost dinnertime.

"Who the hell named you Bucky? You don't even have buck teeth."

"Really? Was that supposed to be a joke?" He smirked, leaning forward, his elbows resting against his knees, his hair falling against his eyes.

"Yeah well, you know. Bucky, buck teeth, it rhymes?" Maybe it was the two bottles of beer that the two of you had, but it annoyed you how he was in his complete senses and here you were, making weird cringy jokes that didn't even make sense.

"I thought you hated me."

You stopped swinging abruptly, when you heard him, his words slowly sinking him. Groaning to yourself, you stood up, and walked up to where he was, lowering yourself next him to him, staring at the swing that was still moving lightly.

"You give yourself too much importance, Barnes. Besides, you started this whole thing in the first place."

You couldn't see his expressions now, but you could feel him lost in a deep thinking. At a slow pace, you turned your head to face him and you saw that he was staring at the starry sky, thinking.

"I don't get it. You're a freaking super soldier, you're supposed to be strong, and you're supposed to be pain tolerant, and you whined about me burning your fucking abs for days."

He suddenly snapped his head towards you, whatever he was thinking before this now abandoned. His eyes were narrowed, and his lip almost twitched, in annoyance before he grumbled, "that was my favourite tshirt. And besides, I was sort of having a bad day."

You stood up, turning around so you were now looking down at him, a frown having paved it's way over your forehead and your hands fixed on your hips.

"You fucked with my mind, you made me look like a freaking joke in front of Steve, just because you had a fucking bad day?"

He shook his head, almost grumbling under his breath, wondering why he had let you drink.

"And who do you think you were back at that simulation training?"

"Well that was different- "

"How? Care to explain?"

You couldn't believe it, the nerves on this man. You almost gasped, taking a step away from him, draping your arms over your chest.

"You knew what clearing that certification meant to me."

"Well, doll. Being an Avenger means everyone fends for themselves; it was a fair fight, but you didn't want to play fair, and that's your fault."

While Bucky just deadpanned, his face giving you a look of disapproval, you just curled your lips into a snicker, almost throwing your head backwards, so you could let out a laugh.

"Look who's talking."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Bucky shrugged.

"How fair would you think messing with someone's weights at the gym is?"

Now it was your turn to smirk, and your smirk even widened when you saw a sudden look of discomfort flash against the man's face, which he quickly masked by pulling on his cold and emotionless expression, "I don't understand."

"Sam told me, you prick. You messed with my weights, you wanted to get back at me. Don't you dare tell me this was all my fault. When I just wanted to fucking make things right."

"Yeah, make things right? I can see how you made things right." His knuckles cracked, and his jaw squared, as he towered over you.

"Well, I would've, if you weren't busy getting into that bitch's pants, whatever her name was."

"Pastry."

"You've gotta be kidding me, who the fuck names a child Pastry?"

Bucky sighed, for probably the tenth time, and ran his fingers through his hair. Women, they always suprised him; and the women he met, they were all different and unique in the most weird ways, like this one standing right in front of him. She was just plain weird, and psychotic. But he couldn't deny, even with her weird psychotic ways, she was slowly growing on him.

"The point is?" He raised a brow.

"Well, the point is, Sergeant, I came to your room, to make this right. But you were so excited to go on this lousy date."

"You really hate that I went on a date with her right? Why don't you go on a real date with me then?"

His palms grabbed your arms, and he pulled you closer, his blues staring into your (Y/E/C).

You swallowed the bile in your throat, and parted your lips. Words wouldn't come out though, it was as though your throat had constricted and you couldn't speak. You were like a ferocious animal cornered, you wanted to bite but you couldn't, so you just gave him a glare, furrowing your brows, and flaring your nostrils just a bit.

"Atleast be a man and kiss me when I know you're dying to do it for a long time, Barnes."

"You've gotta be kidding-"

Bucky couldn't complete his sentence; not when you had smashed your lips against his surprisingly soft ones. He tasted like peppermint, and cinnamon, a taste you could not put a name to, but whatever it was, it was just right.

You finally pulled away, almost gasping for air, and the expression on Bucky's face was just priceless. His jaw slightly hung, and you could see that his lips were parted, confusion reflecting in his expressions. But at the same time, his cheeks had a faint tint of red, and he licked his lips, relishing in the aftermath of the kiss.

You took a step away, and turned around, casually skipping along the grass, until you were down on the swing again, and he just kept staring at you.

You really were the weirdest one he had met.

"Oh, and bdw, I know you checked out my ass that day at the gym. Hope you liked it."

If you could compare Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes face with a tomato, you wouldn't have been able to decide which one was redder.

(Author's Note- I am so sorry this was so long! I was practically giggling when I wrote this chapter. They remind me so much of Tom & Jerry, I just can't. 🤣Anyway, I hope you guys liked this. 💗 )

Permanent Bucky Barnes Taglist :

@really-dont-forget-it

@thepeakygurl

@all-art-is-quite-useless

@baumarvel

@janajjj

@chipilerendi

@nyotamalfoy

@skittychat

Want to be added to my taglist? Please fill up a form on this link. 💗

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes x reader

65 notes · View notes

justsomefluff · 4 years ago

Note

Hello I was wondering if you could do an ateez reaction to going to a fashion show with their girlfriend 🥺❤

here it is!! sorry it’s so late!! I hope you enjoy! <3

Hongjoong:

Okay so Joong is the type to pretend he doesn’t want to go

But then love every second of it

And after your first one, he’s gonna beg you to go to more shows with him

Like every time a model comes out wearing something new, even if the entire look is hideous, he’s gonna complement something about the look

Because he knows how hard the models and designers work to make all this happen

And if there’s a look he really really loves, he’ll look at you and be like

Im gonna buy that for you

Suddenly showering you in complements

“Babe, you’d look so beautiful in that”

“Babe, you’re the most stunning person in here”

NO FAX, JUST PRINTER

And at the end of the night, you’ve both compiled a list of colors and styles you would like to see on each other

So you decide to make each other outfits for the next date you go on

And its just so cute bc Joongie really does draw inspiration from everything he sees

So he totally writes a song about this experience with you

Seonghwa:

Seonghwa is not shy about his love for fashion

Like he has his own sense of style, and he loves choosing things that he feels will express his personality

So when you guys get the chance to go to a fashion show together

OH BOY GET READY

He’s gonna grade every look under his breath on a scale from 1-10

And then he’ll tell you what he likes most about each style that is presented

He tries not to be too critical though bc he knows that everyone’s tastes are different

Will also ask your opinion on the outfits

Like “ooh what do you think of that one? I really like the textures on it!”

You will both choose your top two outfits

like you choose them so that you have one you want just for yourself and one that you want for him

And then he does the same

You typically choose similar looks because you know each other’s style super well

And Hwa is totally the type to surprise you by buying you one of the pieces he had seen you eyeing more than the others

“Just as a thank you for coming with me :)”

Yunho:

His crackhead comes out in full force at fashion shows, believe me

I mean seriously

Every time something comes out that he doesn’t like he insults it in a really funny way

And you’re sitting in the front row so your literally biting your lip so hard to not laugh in front of all these cameras

Like a model comes out with a bunch of feathers on her outfit and Yunho’s just like

“Heads up, everybody, Chicken Little has just hit the stage!”

Or if he sees something particularly revealing he’s like

“Wouldn’t you love to see me in that, baby”

Like would you just hush already lmao

He takes a picture of every single look that he finds funny, just so he can send them to you later with a funny caption

But he also sees one he really loves

Will take a picture of your side profile when you aren’t looking

And the model is coming down the runway in the background

He will save that picture as his background as a reminder that he is going to get you that outfit someday

But he will try not to let you find out that he was so soft about it lmao

So he tries to keep you from seeing his wallpaper

He really wants it to be a surprise, but he also cant stop looking at the picture and imagining the moment you are finally able to put the outfit on

Yeosang:

(he’s so cute I cant breatheeee)

Yeosang will sit pretty silently through most of it

But do not be fooled

NO MODEL IS SAFE

He is judging and critiquing every single look like it is his JOB

The most stone cold poker face you will ever see

Will only crack a smile if you whisper “you’d look so good in that, Sangie”

But when you finally leave he will show you any of the pictures he had taken and start a legitimate conversation about how you liked or disliked each look

Has a grading system lmao

Like you have A-F grading scale, but also categories that each look has to fulfill

Color, texture, fit, overall flow of the patterns and clothing items, etc.

And you can play along for a while before you’re finally like

“YEOSANG, WE ARENT JUDGES ON NEXT TOP MODEL”

“We could be”

Like boy if you don’t-

But then he gives in and he’s like “just tell me which one you loved the most and I’ll tell you if it was good or not”

So you do and he’s like “THAT WAS THE WORST LOOK OF THE ENTIRE NIGHT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

And then that launches a playful debate about who has better fashion sense

But overall you both had a really good time and plan on making this an annual tradition

San:

(he’s so breathtaking here im sorry I mean cmon his hair matches his sweatshirt)

This fashionista here

Sees the artistry in every look and compliments literally everything

Very genuine in his appreciation for the work that has been done

Spewing compliments the entire time

“Omg look how intricate all the stitching is.”

“That fascinator is so stunning, look at all the colors wow”

And it’s so cute to just watch him

Like he’s assessing all the models with the biggest doe eyes

He really is like a little kid at Disneyland for the first time

Just so excited and appreciative of every little thing

“I wish our next comeback could be so beautiful like this!”

“Sannie, your comebacks are always beautiful”

“BUT LOOK AT ALL THIS ELEGANCE!!”

It’s just so adorable

And when the designer comes out at the end of each parade of models, you can bet San is cheering the loudest

And he’ll be so inspired and as his makeup noonas to try and replicate some of the looks he had seen

Gets hella motivated and literally starts drawing up ideas that he has for costumes and things

He’s just a sweet baby who sees the beauty in everything and wants to make beautiful things too

And he will always ask your opinion on his drawings

“Do you like this one? Do you think it could work?”

And of course you tell him all of them are fantastic bc they are

And you guys work together to make some of his outfit dreams come true

Mingi:

At fashion shows, Mingi thrives bc models tend to be really tall for some reason

As a short person, I am offended by tall people’s clothes

ANYWAY

Mingi is just looking at the pants like “I bet those would actually fit me on the first try”

And then he’s like “baby, I could be a model”

And you’re like “I already knew that, you’ve always been pretty”

He gets blushy aww

“I’m pretty” UWUUUUUU

And now that you’ve got him going you cant just let that blush fade away I mean its too cute

Don’t squander this opportunity to make our baby blush even harder

So literally every other model your whispering “you’d look better in that”

“You’d be the best model here, Minnie”

And eventually he’s smiling so big and blushing so hard that he’s like “stoop my cheeks hurt”

So you settle for giving him a lil smoochie on his cheek

But then he shall take his revenge

Starts complementing you even more than you had complemented him

Thus begins a complement war

By the end, both of you realize that you’ve ignored the last two sets of models and had just been telling each other how much you love each other over and over

Get a room you guys I mean really

Wooyoung:

Wooyoung is a giggly mess

The entire time

Because he thinks every little thing is funny

A model’s makeup is too extreme? He’s laughing

Someone’s hair is too wild? He’s laughing

Someone looks like they rolled straight out of a dumpster? he’s laughing and saying “thats you”

Like SHUT UP lmaoooo

He’s also laughing bc he’s imagining the members in all of the ugly outfits

Like “lmao imagine Hongjoong wearing that big ole hat”

“Imagine Seonghwa wearing those balloon shorts”

Like he’s so annoying lmao

But it does have you both laughing hard enough to get dirty looks from other spectators

Once he eventually calms down and hushes himself, he actually starts getting into it and thoroughly enjoys watching the way the clothes flow when the models walk and stuff

He finds it genuinely interesting to see how each artist has fit the clothes to each specific model’s body type

But he will still fit in some snide comments here and there to make sure you’re fully entertained

Bc if he’s not laughing… is it really Wooyoung

Jongho:

Okay Jongho is definitely into fashion

Whether he is obvious about his affinity for cool clothes or not, he’s into it okay

And he evaluates every look in terms of “would I look good in that? Would bae look good in that? Would any of the hyungs look good in that?”

Very thoughtful baby

Will take pictures to send to people and be like “this reminds me of you”

Will say it directly to you too

He is also kinda cheesy and poetic about it

“The bright pink reminds me of how happy you make me”

“That blue is like the sky when you’re around: cloudless”

Eventually you’re like “oh shut up ya freak” lmao

And then he’s laughing bc he’s embarrassed that he said all that

He’s like “why am I so cheesy”

And you low-key love it so you just smile at him

But then he keeps taking pictures of the models and eventually starts taking pictures of you bc he just loves you and finds you so breathtaking awww

At the end of the night he’s so sweet to you and thanks you for coming with him and hopes you had a good time and-

You just kiss him and tell him you had a lot of fun and you should definitely do it again next time there’s a show in town

He definitely agrees bc he really just loved sharing that experience with you

82 notes · View notes

northwest-writing · 4 years ago

Text

Hardly the First Lyrical Analysis of "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne

This morning I was doing my usual routine of completing household chores (bed making, laundry folding, etc.) and listening to my carefully curated boogie playlist while dancing around my room, when I found myself doing something I’m sure every person born after the release of the Sony Playstation has done at least once in their lives--engaging with the lyrics of Fountains of Wayne’s 2003 hit, “Stacy’s Mom”. Absurd and uncomfortable enough in both its subject matter and execution, this favorite of every roller rink and bowling alley DJ for the last seventeen years need not be absorbed with much of a critical ear at all in order for any listener to feel its discomforting effects. The chorus alone already tells the very clear story of “I’m hot for some poor teenage girl’s single mother.” It is important here that I digress for a moment to clarify: I like this song. It was in my boogie playlist for a reason and that reason is because I believe there is a time to dance and a time to think critically and they simply do not overlap. Would a lot of people disagree with me that “Stacy’s Mom” is even a song you can dance to? Probably. Make your own playlist. You can include all of your dumb songs about being attracted to people your own age. People that have more important things to do with their time don’t often extend their critique of the story of Stacy and her hot mom very far beyond the well known chorus or perhaps the first verse. I have found, however, that the more carefully I listened to the lyrics of this song, the more thoughts I had about the plotline being presented to me. Without further delay, I would like to share those thoughts with you.

Introduction

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

Already, the piece starts off strong by introducing us to both the main subject of the song and a rough idea of the narrator’s perspective on her. Thus far we don’t quite know the full nature of the relationship between Stacy’s mom and the narrator, so we are enticed to continue listening. The repetition of the same line four times could perhaps be representative of an obsession based in desire. This section evokes the image of a young man rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere, repeating to himself the one thing he still knows to be true, “Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on.”

First Verse

Stacy, can I come over after school?

(After school)

We can hang around by the pool

(Hang by the pool)

Did your mom get back from her business trip?

(Business trip)

Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip?

(Give me the slip)

Now we are clued in to the narrator’s connection to Stacy’s mom through Stacy, who we know has both a house and a pool and lives with her mom who sometimes goes on business trips. We can assume based on this one sided conversation that Stacy and the narrator are classmates, most likely in middle school or high school. At first, it seems as though the narrator has a genuine interest in spending time with Stacy herself, but any hopes we might have of a happily ever after for her are quickly dashed by the second half of the verse, where we get an even deeper view into the narrator’s fixation on Stacy’s mom. He has even begun experiencing irrational concerns as to whether or not the adult woman who occupies his every thought has been deliberately avoiding him.

Pre Chorus and Chorus

You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be

I'm all grown up now

Baby, can't you see?

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

She's all I want

And I've waited for so long

Stacy, can't you see?

You're just not the girl for me

I know it might be wrong but

I'm in love with Stacy's mom

Several contradictory pieces of information have just been presented here. After the narrator explains that he is in fact older than he used to be, which is...duh, he goes on the claim that he is “all grown up now” even though just moments prior, he was discussing hanging out “after school”. If the narrator is truly as grown up as he claims to be, he is either a sad college student or an even sadder adult man whose only friend is a school age girl with a hot mom. We are going to continue to assume he is a delusional teenage boy. He then goes on to boldly state that Stacy’s mother is all that he wants. We are already aware of the unhealthy infatuation the narrator feels for Stacy’s mom, and now our concerns are even further confirmed.

The narrator also briefly touches on Stacy’s possible disappointment at not being pined for by the narrator, but we aren’t actually given enough evidence to suggest this was even something on Stacy’s mind. In fact, we cannot confirm based on the lyrics alone that Stacy is even friends with the narrator. It is possible we are being told a story from a very skewed perspective by a teenage narcissist completely consumed by his feelings for a suburban woman. The final nail in the coffin of this section of the song is when the narrator acknowledges that his feelings “might be wrong”. We can infer that the reason this fantasy relationship “might be wrong” is because the narrator is much too young for Stacy’s mom. This refreshing awareness could lead us to believe that the narrator understands that his love for his classmate’s mom is nothing more than an ordinary teenage crush.

Second Verse and Second Pre Chorus

Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn?

(Mowed your lawn)

Your mom came out with just a towel on

(Towel on)

I could tell she liked me from the way she stared

(The way she stared)

And the way she said

"You missed a spot over there"

(A spot over there)

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy

But since your dad walked out

Your mom could use a guy like me

That’s it officer. That right there is the line that fucked me up in the middle of my morning. Up until now an argument could be made that the narrator is just wrapped up tight in a daydream that he is somewhat rationally aware of. But now we can see that he is, in fact, really trying to plead his case for why he should bone down with Stacy’s mom.

Outro

Stacy's mom, oh, oh

(I'm in love with)

Stacy's mom, oh, oh

(Wait a minute)

Stacy, can't you see?

You're just not the girl for me

I know it might be wrong but

I'm in love with Stacy's mom

The most resonating line in the whole song is perhaps that parenthetical backup vocal line, “wait a minute,” I agree. Pump the brakes, Fountains of Wayne. You’ve just divulged way more than I think anyone--including you--were prepared for. This track should have included one full minute of contemplative silence at the end of the original release. And yes, I do mean for the radio version as well. The least a music producer could do for an audience is allow a moment to regroup and reevaluate after hearing such a Donny Darko-esque confession by a grown man representing the character of a teenage boy. Therapists don’t schedule their appointments back to back, and I’m even less qualified to hear something like this.

To view this song simply as bowling alley pop music would be a waste of time. “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne is a macabre, absurdist microscope on early-2000’s American suburbia, and the failings of a sex-negative modern culture on the mental well-being of sexually frustrated teens, masquerading as a charmingly perverted Top 40 pop tune.

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muffinlance · 5 years ago

Note

Your recent ask about struggling with your serious writing projects really hit home, but was also super inspiring. And intimidating. I hope you know I think of you like a writing sensei now. Is sensei the right word? Writing big sibling? Anyway, how do you deal with the anxiety of all those projects? I want to be a Proper Writer too, and I have the ideas and the time, but I always get nerfed by anxiety whenever I try and write original fiction. Any tips on how to stop overthinking?

In light of our shared fandom, dear @captainkirkk, I will accept "Sifu".

Writing tips!

You are obviously solid on writing mechanics and short story arcs (maybe long form arcs too, but I've only had the pleasure of reading your short fics thus far.) So in your case, it is probably just a lack of experience causing most of this anxiety. 'Cause I have found that becoming comfortable with each new stage of writing is an exercise in exposure therapy.

If you're specifically worried about original characters/fics, consider working more OCs into your fanfics just to get more experience with/feedback on them. You'll know real fast if people are reacting well to your OCs, and can tweak things accordingly in the wonderfully low-stress world of fanfic.

As far as anxiety on writing in general, as far as I can tell it never goes away, but there are definitely strategies to lessen it. You'll have to experiment with what works for you. For me, going for long nighttime jogs and just turning ideas over in my head in a low-stress not-even-trying-to-write-right-now environment is super helpful. And if you haven't already, it's Real Big Important to learn to separate the "something is wrong with this story" anxiety from the "I am the worst writer ever and everything I touch becomes ash unto mine eyes" anxiety. I've gotten in the habit of literally trying to write out my anxiety causes. Mock example that's pretty much exactly like what I really do:

(I start with a clear statement of the problem:) Why do I hate this scene, it feels like the literal worst?

(Then I list potential causes:) are character interactions weak? Anything I can do to increase tension/character interplay? More background elements to add depth to scene? Is this supporting the plot enough? Do I even need this scene or can important elements be combined into future scenes? Etc.

Then I work my way through each question, allowing "no this is fine" to be an acceptable answer. And if everything is fine... I might just be in a grr mood where Everything Is Awful and I should take a break because I'm only going to do more harm than good here. Go for a jog, play with the cat, switch to another story for a bit if-I'm-not-grring-at-that-one-too. I actually ran into this with Little Zuko 31; I basically did exactly the above, and ended up scraping about 3k of perspectives-in-the-waiting-room because they were slowing the pacing and coming off as too Zuko-whumpy in a story that doesn't usually drag its heels in depressing bits. My solution was literally "this boy needs a goddamn coat earlier in the chapter so everyone can stop worrying about him and we can get back to the right tone", so I deleted a whole slew of scenes, inserted the early Yue POV, and had her bring him a goddamn coat. And suddenly the chapter was good, great, I-can-work-with-this. But it took a few hours to A) acknowledge that I was writing myself deeper into a pit of this-isn't-working, and B) put my finger on the cause enough to fix it. Sometimes it takes me days to figure that stuff out. Or months. Or years. I've got a novel I just took out of my Grrr Drawer that I hated hated hated, but now that I've got more experience with fixing things, I was able to spot what was wrong and figure out a roadmap for fixing it.

If you haven't already, make sure you've joined some sort of weekly-if-not-daily critique group where you can crit a metric ton of stories and read the crits others have written; it is notably easier to spot mistakes on someone else's work, and many times you'll walk to the fridge and go "...wait a sec, I'm doing that too". I have learned more about story structure from criting works that were almost-but-not-quite working than from reading all the perfectly edited novels in the world. (Critique Circle is an excellent site for this, best I've found, though as with all crit sites you need to know how to work the system so you're getting the most out of your time spent there. If anyone is interested in CC specific tips, shoot me an ask.)

Also, if you haven't already, figure out what stages of your projects you need what kind of feedback on. It took me a Real Long Time to figure out I worked best without input of any kind until I had a draft I personally couldn't improve upon further. When working on my original projects, I no longer show anyone anything until things are finished and polished. Then I invite the crit jackals in (I love my crit jackals, proper constructive criticism hurts so good). Fanfiction has been an interesting experience and a reminder of why I work that way: I am really easily influenced to change things based on reviews. I've now got enough experience writing full novels that I can (mostly) sort out "cool ideas" from "cool ideas that actually work in the broader context of this story", but I still find myself tweaking my outline after reviews. In ways that are hopefully good. But back when I was a less confident writer with terrible outlining skills, oh man I wrote myself down unworkable tangents just because "wouldn't it be cool if..."

So yep. In summary: experiment with anxiety relief strategies and self-care that work for you, acknowledge that the anxiety will always be there and that is normal there is nothing wrong with you, use the anxiety as a tool to address whatever your subconscious is trying to tell you about your story (stop and have a Real Talk with your anxieties--are they trying to tell you something, or do you just need to take a quick brain break?), and know that you're already an amazing writer you just need to practice more on original fics and get them out in the world. <3

Also: sometimes you will get to the end of a project and it... Just didn't work. It's unfixable, or would take more time to fix than just moving on to your next project with lessons learned. I see so many newer writers getting stuck on their "dream story". The one they've been editing and re-editing for years. And it's like, honey, you remember that first clay pot you made in kindergarten? That one that's lumpy and leaning to one side and objectively terrible and I'm pretty sure a mouse crawled inside, got lost, and died in it? Your novel is the equivalent of that. Don't try to fix this pot, go practice making more.

#I still have that pot #it is on the windowsill in my office #it is so terrible but I still love it #much like all these old stories No One Can Ever See #writing advice #ask #writing thoughts

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narekashi · 5 years ago

Text

Blood Donation [Allen]

"Miss, are you searching for something? I'll be glad to help if so."

"Any friend of Count is my friend as well. Let's have some tea and chat, shall we?"

So yeet, finally I remembered to post my beloved ikemen Blood Donation. More information about them down below!! [Tagging @lovingsiriusoswald because she seems to like her djksnskdn]

Name: Allen

Nicknames: Ellen, Al Al (Arthur)

Birthday: August 15

Height: 167 cm

Blood Type: A

Physical

Eyes: Turquoise

Hair: Short hair that curves in and bangs that part in the middle

Accessories: Glasses that she wears when it's hard to see, usually wears contacts though

Features: Moles on both her upper arms

Illnesses: None

Social

Species: Pure blood vampire

Occupation: Writer and traveller

Relationships:

● The Count of Saint Germaine: Best friends. They stumbled across each other in a different century but have remained friends ever since. She often visits him while he always welcomes her into his mansion with open arms. Knows all of the mansion vampires to a certain extent because of him. They know each other's troubles and can read each other like a book.

● Leonardo Da Vinci: Annoying but good friends. Always has the urge to tidy up his things after he makes a mess even though she's kind of a slob herself. They have a running joke saying that the other is dating Count and bring it up whenever necessary around Count himself. They are interested in each other's works and loves to get nosy in them.

● Theodorus Van Gogh: Buddies. Finds him rather rude with all his nicknames but eventually found a way to brush it off by telling him she'll tell Vincent; problem solved instantly. Doesn't see him all that often due to the nature of his work but when they do, they go to the bar with Arthur.

● Arthur Conan Doyle: Buddies. Knew him purely through Theo because the other always dragged him around to bars and they just so happened to meet. She finds his works really interesting and asks tip from him all the time when they meet up while Arthur usually answers her questions and flirts. Often goes to the bar together.

● Jeanne D'Arc: Neutral. Has seen him fought before back when he was still alive but also thought he was a woman until she met him face to face. Finds him intimidating and beautiful.

● Napoleon Bonaparte: Friends. Sees him playing with the children on a regular basis in town and always joins them. He treats her like a child even though she is very much older than him which earns a flick on the forehead from him every time.

● Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Acquaintances. Enjoys his music very much and always stops to listen to it when he's playing his piano in his room. Would love to ask him tips on how to play the piano better but is way too intimidated by him. Also rather cross that he's so rude.

● Dazai Osamu: Teasing friends. Always plays with him in the game room and both have a fun time trying to figure each other out. Most of their interactions is trying to call each other's bluff out, thus having a much more teasing and fun relationship than with other mansion residents. (Besides Arthur but god knows how many people he has that kind of relationship with)

● Sebastian: Information sharing buddy. Finds his stoic face rather funny since he's always talking about historical stuff when she's around. She provides him with a bunch of facts from historical people she's met before and he provides her with a bunch of modern day info that he has (although she knows some of it from her trips to the 21st century). Never lets him know that she's actually terrible at history.

● William Shakespeare: Stays far far away from. Absolutely knows what he's up to but tries to stay away from him. Extremely wary about him but can have a decent conversation around him if she's with someone she knows well like Count or Leo.

● Vincent Van Gogh: Close friends. She admires him and loves his art works while he quite enjoys her presence around. The two often help each other with different things like critiquing each other's works and tasks and have gotten rather close over time. Unsure if she has a crush on him or not.

● Isaac Newton: Likes him. Always teases him with Arthur and Dazai. Loves to see him hear him rant about all the experiments and things he's been doing and finds him kinda cute. Is unwilling to go confess first since she's unsure if he feels the same nor has she sorted out her feelings for Vincent yet.

Personality: Open minded and seems very open about herself yet there's a feeling saying that she's not as open as she seems to be. Is always either spending all day in the mansion or spending it outside for a long time and coming back late, 8 am was her last record. Can hold very long conversations with all the different kinds of experiences she has over the centuries, making her quite a chatterbox; there are times when she's silent and would rather not talk but she's always open to listening. Always asks people if they are up for a drink whether that be Rouge or just alcohol in the bar. Doesn't fancy drinking from a human directly but can do it if she wants to.

Likes: Useless facts, conversations, cute and fluffy things, the modern world, music, tea (the real tea or rumours), stories, alcohol

Dislikes: Writer's block, time, her hair, not knowing anything, frustration, extremely sarcastic people

Skills:

> Sleeping in

> Origami

> Knows several languages but isn't fluent in all of them, fluent in only chinese and english

> Plays the piano (not very good at it)

> Convincing people

> Keeping a straight face (to the point it's scary)

Paired with: Isaac Newton(???)

Life in the mansion: Has to get woken up by Sebastian every day, has only woken up by herself a grand total of 5 times. In the mansion, she's most commonly seen in the gardens writing while enjoying herself or in the game room playing games with the others. She also frequents visit other people's rooms to talk and share a conversation with if she's bored. When she's outside, she often wanders off on her own and explores so she knows every square inch in the city.

Extra info:

> Getting her gender mixed up is rather amusing for her so she plays along with it and keeps her appearance the same to trick many more into thinking so

> Sleeps like a log, could sleep for days if no one wakes her up.

> Sleepy her is an airhead, almost like a small animal

> Rational and quick thinking is one of her skills but she's nowhere as good as Arthur so she often pretends she's not good at it.

> Has a habit of scratching her neck when she isn't feeling too comfortable, doesn't like the feeling of hands around her neck though

> Isn't very serious most of the time but when she is serious, she's deadly serious and scary (though she usually regrets it after her head clears)

> Loves fluffy things just as much as she likes smut, ironically cannot write smut even though she can get horny easily

> Headpats make her melt instantly

> Cannot handle being yelled at, it makes her very emotionally stable and would break down on the spot or later on

Bonus:

"... Did you enjoy the show, darling? Come out and show yourself, there's no where else to hide."

"Ah you're... that beautiful Miss from the library... Hm now that you've seen me, can't really let you escape. Feed me your blood please."

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #blood donation #yes it's a hot ikemen girl that calls you darling and miss #because i love those tropes so much lay off me #i wanna be hot too sob #she may be my blood donation but i would allow her to suck my blood whenever she wants #ocs

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awackyphdinadorkable · 5 years ago

Text

A little snippet of a Cherik fic ghosting through my head...

This one keeps going through my mind for some reason, even though it is nowhere near an actual fic at this point. Despite that all, I thought I might share at least the tender, drafty first steps in that direction, because... why not? I just like the mood of it, or rather, the mood it gets me into. *flies away*

There are those days when Erik wished he was back in Paris, in his tiny apartment at the very top of a very shabby building from which he could smell both freshly baked baguettes and fish being delivered for the small food store below every day.

Those were the easy mornings that left his mind blissfully blank – because he didn’t want to think, even less so remember. Those mornings smelled of black café with just a dash of lait. They tasted of croissants with jam. They sounded of the streets waking up below his small balcony where there was only space for a garden chair, a tiny table, and a lonely potted plant that never came to bloom yet didn’t die either. And most importantly, those mornings looked like new beginnings, as the city was painted orange and violet, leaving only the picturesque yet iconic shape of the Eiffel tower in the distance to Erik him yearning for the sensation of that steel.

Now in New York, Erik still has black coffee with just a dash of milk every morning, but the milk doesn’t quite taste like the one he used to buy in Paris. The croissants are positive crap. And when he stands on his balcony, albeit this one is a bit more spacious, there is no smell of fresh bread and fish in the air, just the odor of gasoline and burned rubber rising up in dark clouds, painting even the new beginning of the day in shades of gray. It is those moments that take him to where Erik knows he doesn’t want to return. Ever again.

He scratches his naked torso, feeling a shiver run through him from the cold seeping into his bones. Weather is always miserable around the season, which, Erik will admit, likely suits his overall mood. He supposes it’s more fitting his occupation. In that way, he is merely living up to expectations.

Taking another suck from his cigarette, Erik flicks the stub into the empty flower pot and heads back inside. He lets his eyes briefly dance over the darkened room, wrinkling his nose. Maybe he really should follow the advice he was given and make an effort to make this place a little more personalized. He bought the furniture from the previous tenant in its entirety, only ever threw out the mattress and rearranged some of the pieces because the tenant had no sense of using space whatsoever.

When he rented this place, Erik didn’t much care. His mind was elsewhere entirely, but the apartment looks perhaps even more desolate that the street below his small-albeit-slightly-bigger balcony. However, having spent more time here now, looking at it right at this moment, it has Erik consider a personal touch, if only for the briefest of moments, as this is something Erik never really did and doesn’t really have any intention to start with now.

Most people would buy some flower-patterned pillows, maybe paint at least some of the walls in a brighter color, or hang up a few picture frames, none of which are even up for consideration for Erik. Flower-patterned pillows make him think of Düsseldorf, and he can’t go back there, not even inside his mind. Bright colors tend to make him antsy if he looks at them for too long, reminding him far too much of the darkness residing with him. And picture frames, photographs? Completely out of question.

And so, naked walls it is.

The movement of his wristwatch’s second hands pulls Erik out of his musings. He furrows his eyebrows as he checks the time. Staring at his impersonal apartment took Erik longer than intended. He grabs the wrinkly shirt he never bothers to iron for the occasion to pull over his head before shrugging into his worn, brown leather jacket. He slips into his shoes, ties the laces, and stretches himself once to ease the remains of the chill out of his bones. With keys in hand, Erik flies out the door and sinks into the gray mass awaiting him below.

Of course it rains by the time he makes his way outside.

Of course.

Erik mutters silent curses under his breath as he pulls the collar of his jacket up higher, pondering why he never bought a new umbrella after the last one had a small accident late at night a few months back. Though realization hits Erik with about as much force as the water being pushed out of the puddles as taxis speed past them.

The reason is that Erik doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to remember.

And that is also why his walls are still naked.

It is the reason why nothing changed in his New York apartment ever since he moved in, safe for the arrangement of the furniture.

It is the reason why the mattress is the only thing new in his apartment.

And so, Erik has to walk on without an umbrella, hoping he won’t be completely drenched by the time he reaches the studio. It’s just the last thing he needs on a mediocre morning like this that leaves him yearning for Paris, for his apartment, well aware that he left that all the same way he left his undead plant behind.

When the building comes into sight, Erik finds his hopes most certainly failed, which does not come to him as a surprise, it is the season after all, and hope does not seem to fit him, no matter what certain other people may say. Erik grimaces as he can feel the rain finally seeping its way past the layers of leather onto naked skin, making him wince. He pushes inside, then, leaving gray and rain behind him to deal with later.

Once inside, Erik shrugs out of his soaked jacket and puts it on the hangers he contributed, twirls and swirls of metal, none of which look the same. They made their way all across the Atlantic to here, upon one man’s insistence, who argued, or rather insisted, that throwing away art is “very counterproductive” to their overall cause. The thought never ceases to entertain Erik, since he didn’t believe in a shared cause all the way to New York until it hit him that, yes, he is part of something bigger, a shared cause, whether he wants to or not at times.

Though Erik is still left wondering, more than once, just what that cause may be. Paris took his sense of direction away, which had been sharp as a knife’s edge ever since he left everything behind a metal fence he never wants to cross again in a lifetime. Erik never lacked a sense of purpose for most of his life, but ever since he moved to Paris, almost ran there, cause and purpose became such abstract notions that he finds it hard to believe at times that he used to know so exactly what both meant for him. The cause only ever gained some ominous kind of shape when he walked into the studio for the first time – and found his way there again every day since, not just in Paris but now also here in New York.

He found this most curious group of people back in Paris, or more accurately, the group found him. It was at an exhibition where Erik featured one of his latest sculptures. Needless to mention people were full of praise for his piece of art, which made it hard for Erik not to laugh during the event. The statue was shit, something thrown together, bent out of shape, punched out of it again, to vaguely resemble something avant-garde.

Because once it’s abstract enough, avant-garde enough, no one asks questions anymore, it seems. Then you can get away with almost anything.

Erik accounts part of the lack of critique of that statue to his reputation as a kind of prodigy in the field, a man who never received formal training in the arts and yet crafts metal as though it was natural to him. Which it is, but that is something people either purposely forget about him, which is entirely beside the point of his art, or just begrudgingly accept because of his undeniable talent, which may be only minimally better.

Back at that exhibition in Paris, there was only one person who voiced his disappointment in Erik’s latest creation, a dashing young man with dark hair and arguably the bluest eyes Erik ever saw in his entire life. He was all quick smiles and easy laughs, the kind of man to charm his way in and out of every conversation he either wished to take part in or leave because he found it uninspiring, Erik could tell right off the bat. And that man always had a comment on the tip of his tongue, he could tell that, too. It was he who invited Erik to join their “little potpourri of similarly minded yet out of mind artists,” arguing that Erik would make a “wonderful” addition to it.

Erik politely told the man no, because he worked on his own, would stay on his own till last, Erik was sure, but the man insisted that Erik at least visited the studio just once to see for himself before giving a definite answer.

“You can’t properly judge something without having seen it. I also had to see that statue in the flesh without any flesh in order to be certain that it was only thrown together for the occasion and thus most certainly is below your acutely high standards.”

Erik was shocked at first, then mildly offended. Just because he called it crap didn’t mean anyone else should or had any right to it. Though the easy smiles and the occasional pat on his back soon made him forget his irritation and instead find a strange solace in at least one person seeing that this statue was below Erik’s high standard.

When the young man kept going on about his favorite pieces of Erik’s collection, anger completely deflated and something rather curious set in the pit of his stomach as he sipped his champagne next to the blue-eyed man who seemingly couldn’t be stopped from complimenting Erik on his craft. Though, perhaps to his even greater shock, that man most accurately identified what the statues meant, what Erik had in mind when he made them, even for those that didn’t have a title indicating what exact direction they were heading, what horrors they were critiquing by twisting knots into barbwire and mimicking tooth fillings made of gold, twisting into a loud metal shriek saying “never again.”

By the end of the evening, Erik had been thoroughly introduced to every member of the Parisian Potpourri, eased into conversations he was no longer accustomed to having, and found himself listening intently to the blue-eyed man’s little game of guessing what the art critiques at the event were thinking. He did so based on the way they looked at the painting and sculptures, or so he said. Though he mostly only did it to entertain the remaining members of the Potpourri, as he continued aping those critics in their pompous way of seeing themselves as the only ones able to see, consume, and understand the art.

“If I ever end up making art only just for the critics, that you must promise me, my friends, just go ahead and shoot me point blank.”

Erik enjoyed the evening more than he thought he would, more than he grew used to ever since he moved to Paris to lose all direction. He remained fairly certain that it was no more than a pleasant evening, though, and that he would move on from it the way he always did, never looking back.

Yet, when he left his small flat in Paris the next morning, it seemed oddly familiar, oddly needed, to head to the studio he’d never been to in his entire life. And for the first time in a long time, he found himself looking forward.

Most of those people came and went over time, befitting the lives of artists, or at the very least, living up to a certain stereotype. The Parisian Potpourri was under constant change, people flying in and out, some joining, others leaving, some coming back. But that was the entire purpose of the studio, to give a room for creativity to unfold without dictating boundaries or setting up rules – and keep low the costs, since such a workshop, in Paris no less, would have been nearly unaffordable for most of them, if not as a shared effort to maintain the studio.

The idea remained part of Erik’s time in Paris until he bid adieu to his apartment above the food market, left to wonder what would become of his potted plant now that someone else would take care of it, or rather, not take care of it because he never watered it or gave it manure to thrive.

In fact, it carried on beyond that day, because the man carrying it with every ounce of himself took the idea of the studio all the way with him to New York, only to open up a new workshop where a potpourri of new people soon flew in and out, as artists do, leaving only three constants within: Erik, the hangers, and…

“Charles! I told you to leave that statue alone. It’s not finished!”

Sometimes Erik wonders how that man is even an actual person. Because he can say with utter surety that he never met anyone like Charles Francis Xavier in his entire life. That man is charismatic to the point that it is near painful. He is likely more intelligent than 99% of world’s population, able to recite most of The Once and Future King from the top of his head even when roused from deep slumber. He is young, agile and lithe, and yet, seems to fancy himself wearing cardigans any gray-haired professor at college would want to call his own, only to walk around in just jeans, no shirt and no shoes whenever he sees fit, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. Charles always seems to know what to say and what not to say, and sometimes he says just what is wrong to say on the occasion because it pleases him.

And that man convinced me to come all the way to New York. Damn.

“You know the allure of covering the object to be adored, Erik! That is the same reason why most people find so much thrill in the act of undressing and not just in the acts that succeed it,” Charles calls out, hands folded in his back, circling around the covered statue like a lion approaching its prey.

“Hands off, I told you often enough,” Erik warns him, though he knows his voice lacks the fight he used to put into it back in Paris. These days, it’s just mild annoyance with Charles’s apparent inability, or rather refusal, to work on some of his antics which tend to drive Erik near mad.

“My, my, aren’t we in a good mood today?” Charles snorts, flashing one of his easy smiles. Always the easy smiles, no matter the occasion, no matter the season, no matter the rain or the bad mood people have around him.

“You know me, Charles, I am always in that kind of mood.”

“It’s the rain, I suppose,” Charles muses, stepping away from Erik’s work to glance out the window.

And that is the other thing with Charles Xavier that makes him the most curious person Erik ever met. The shifts. Erik lacks a better term for it. He reckons a poet in their group may finally come up with a more elaborate and artistic way of expressing it, but up until now, no artist of the word found their way into the studio.

What he noticed over his time together with this most curious man is that Charles can be bubbly and laughing one second but be completely lost the very next. He can be so close to Erik that there is no more than an inch between them and suddenly, he is a thousand miles away. One moment Charles is elaborating on the merits of the notion of l’art pour l’art, the next, he fades away and leaves nothing but a blank expression on his face behind, before going on about whatever it is that seemingly manifested itself inside his head, only for him to know.

And it is this man Erik followed all the way to New York, away from his small balcony with the curious plant and his morning café with the dash of lait.

Really, damn.

“You know, I like the rain as a motif, but I can’t say I enjoy painting while it rains outside,” Charles ponders, wrinkling his nose as his eyes remain fixed on the scratched, dirty window where veins of water run down it as rain keeps pouring over the glass, pulsing to the beat of a colorless heart.

“How so?” Erik asks.

His fellow artist shrugs. “People are not in a good mood when it rains. Look at yourself.”

“Well, what is there to like about the rain, you tell me? Other than its necessity for wildlife and nature? People are in a terrible mood, as you say. Clothes get drenched, you have to dodge taxis because they will take any pothole there is to leave you even more drenched, and everything is just dark and miserable.”

“But then there is petrichor,” Charles sighs, grinning faintly.

Erik curls his lips into a frown. “Petrichor?”

“The smell of damp earth just after the rain. The smell of a new beginning.” He smiles, but then shifts, turns around abruptly and walks back over to the canvas he put up before Erik even walked into the studio.

Sometimes Erik wonders whether Charles actually moved into the studio without anyone’s realization months ago, but then he remembers the taste of bourbon and the staccato of chess pieces moving over at Charles’s apartment just a few blocks from his own. No, Charles doesn’t live in the studio, though perhaps he really rather would. Erik finds it hard to tell at times.

While his apartment is as impersonal as it can get, Charles spread all of himself in his home, bought entirely new furniture upon his arrival in New York. Though he tends to purchase secondhand since he enjoys “the echo” used objects leave behind when they don’t come straight from the factory. There are some of his small paintings hung up on the walls, a “shameless self-promotion,” as Charles calls it.

He made himself at home in New York, simple as that. And whenever Erik winds up on his doorsteps for a round of late night chess and bourbon, Erik finds it hard to picture Charles anywhere else but in this apartment. There is a way to how Charles navigates through his home, as though he knew ever crevice, every bump in the floor by heart, moving with a kind of self-assurance, a kind of grace that seems particular to only just this man. And sitting in his worn leather armchair, rolled up in one of his cardigans, Erik is led to believe that Charles would rather never leave that place in a lifetime, looking far too cozy, far too comfortable, far too content with the world to ever cross the threshold leading to worlds of gray, taxis, and smog.

At the same time, Charles is normally the first one to come to the studio – and the last one to leave. Erik caught the other man a number of times snoring on makeshift beds made of packs of clay and cloth some of the other artists tend to put on the floors for when they toss color everywhere for abstract paintings. In that way, Charles is always the first person to greet Erik in the morning, and the last to bid him good night, which, Erik will admit, if only just to himself, he finds oddly calming. Yet, it leaves Erik wondering how it comes that Charles seemingly loves being in the apartment, looking so cozy, so at home there, while at the same time seemingly being unable at other times to leave the studio, giving any impression that he lives there, too.

Erik finds himself back in the reality of the studio when his eyes catch movement to his right as Charles picks up the palette with his left hand and dabs the next best brush he can find into the acrylic paint he already applied and started to mix well before Erik arrived.

“One of your commissions or something for yourself?” Erik asks as Charles brings down the brush on the canvas for the first time.

While Erik himself wouldn’t know how to paint even if his life depended on it, he found himself easily fascinated by the way Charles moves the brush across the canvas, how worlds start to grow under the movement of this sometimes impossible man. Because there is a distinct way with which Charles leans into every stroke as though it was a dance to a melody only he can hear inside his head. It is a most intimate kind of dance that leaves Erik questioning at times where the artist ends, the brush begins, and where exactly paint morphs into art.

“Oh, this one is merely to indulge myself, though perhaps I will sell it, if someone is willing to purchase it once it is done. I have a feeling it could turn out really good… despite the really not good mood around here,” Charles says, yet again all easy smiles as he continues his small dance with the brush and the paint.

As always.

Charles became known in the scene as The Clairvoyant, because he has an innate ability to create paintings his commissioners want, crave, in fact. Erik read some of the articles talking about this “art prodigy of the century” after he met him back at the exhibition in Paris. While they were written in different languages, they all shared in one meaning, because they all spoke of a man who can deliver every style from a Renaissance-like paintings all the way to the abstract, leaving even the toughest critics wondering just how this painter manages to create the art his commissioners want to see – and seemingly never failing at the task, not once.

After his research back in his apartment in Paris, Erik was sure that the artist could never live up to the title he was given by art magazines and columns in the back of newspapers. However, Erik had to revise that opinion rather soon – because he became witness and since can confirm that Charles possesses a talent unmatched.

Erik was still getting accustomed to the noise of the studio in Paris when he found out the truth, to people’s chattering and talking about topics he didn’t want to hear about as he struggled his way through the next sculpture bound to leave him unimpressed with his own creation.

An old lady came into the Parisian studio one day, which set forth the process of realization in Charles’s particular ability for Erik. Almost coincidentally, it rained that day, too. She wore her best coat, though it was at least a century old. The gray hair in a tight knot, but with a warm kind of smile withstanding even the nasty weather outside. Erik could tell from her accent that she was from Eastern Europe.

She wanted a painting from Charles, having read about him in the newspapers. A small one, she added shyly, since she couldn’t afford a large canvas by any means. Charles took her aside, charmed her into an easy conversation. Erik grew almost weary at the sight because it left him with the feeling that Charles went in a similar way about him to make him join the studio. By the time the old woman, Alyena, left, Charles was almost instantly up by his easel to set to work.

It was those days Erik was sure Charles didn’t see the inside of his apartment at all. It left him almost worried for the young man because Charles seemed to work without catching a break for more than a couple of minutes before working on the next stroke. Erik could tell that this painting was a matter of heart to Charles because he wouldn’t let anyone in on the process. He locked himself up the way Erik tends to do when he creates, and instructed everyone to leave the small side room alone until he was finished and “ready to return to the world.”

Some days later, Charles welcomed Alyena back to the studio, all the more cheerful when he saw her come in, touched her shoulder for comfort, complimenting her on her lovely coat over and over again as he led her to where he had set up for the reveal. The old woman was visibly nervous, but Charles knew what to say to ease her, the way he always knows. And this time, he said nothing wrong on purpose.

The canvas wrapped with linen certainly did have a particular kind of allure, too, Erik will have to give Charles that much, though the effect only ever set in once everyone got a glimpse at what was underneath.

Charles revealed a most realistic painting of a young, dark-haired girl with ribbons braided into her hair, spinning round and round in sheer joy while holding on to another girl with lighter hair in a tight braid with the same ribbons sitting on top of her head like a crown. And at that sight, Alyena simply started to weep. Erik never saw such a reaction from a commissioner, even less so when the old woman pulled Charles into a fierce hug, asking over and over how he knew, how he could possibly know what Justina looked like as a girl. How he knew that Alyena longed for an image of her childhood friend when she long since forgot the features of Justina’s face.

“But you see her now, don’t you?” was all Charles offered, patting her back soothingly.

“I do, but I don’t know how.”

“And that is the artist’s magic.”

It didn’t surprise Erik that Charles had chosen a way larger canvas than the one the woman had paid for. Neither did it that Charles never made mention of it. The only thing that kept surprising him was the woman’s words to Erik when Charles disappeared for a moment to wrap the canvas for her to take back home. She recounted to him still teary-eyed how Justina was her childhood friend and how they danced at the wedding of one of Justina’s cousins – one last time. The following day, Alyena’s family left, or rather fled from a war about to come, only to learn, years later, that Justina died only a day after they last danced, very likely still with the ribbons in her hair.

“I never had a photograph of her, you see. And my memory is fading faster than me. I always wanted to remember her, though. Because who else will? I never dared to think I’d see her again, but now I do. Right there. She looks just like the last time I saw her. Just like it. It’s like the photograph I never had of her – and so much more.”

That was when Erik understood what people meant when they called Charles Xavier a mindreader, The Clairvoyant of the scene, and it was also the day he accepted that as the only appropriate title for Charles’s way of making art. Because Charles knows what to paint even without the commissioner telling him what exactly he or she is looking for. He just knows somehow, and he knows how to ban it on canvas.

Sometimes Erik finds it a pity, however, because he sees Charles struggle at times, many times in fact, with a painting for a commissioner The Clairvoyant only very silently admits is “not of the kindest nature” or “of a very limited creative mind.” Ever since Erik saw Charles reveal Justina to the old woman, he feels any urge to take Charles’s brushes away when he paints yet another image of a tycoon looking for a pompous self-portrait, putting him in the best light when he likely does nothing but shady business. Because what is Charles, a thoroughbred artist, doing, wasting his precious time and outstanding talent on those tycoons when he could create so many more impossible memories, could paint many more Justinas, making those memories real and last for many more generations to come and adore?

It is those days that Charles shifts away nearly at all times, working late hours, seemingly just to get over with those commissions, to get them out of the studio like trash that needs taking out before it starts to stink. At the same time, Charles seemingly doesn’t find it in himself to refuse a commission, no matter how “unstimulating” he tends to find them – and the commissioners in particular. Charles is seemingly too busy pleasing everyone to ever truly learn to say no.

Erik, by contrast, learned to say no very early on in his life, with absolution in his voice. Right along with “never again.” He doesn’t take commissions. He never creates statues for a certain theme or a particular event. People can purchase his work, but Erik decides who gets them, and he alone settles the price. Some people are irritated by his insistence on it, but Erik won’t have it any other way.

He doesn’t trust anyone with his art other than himself.

He doesn’t trust anyone other than himself, period.

“Oh, by the way?” Charles hums. Erik turns his head, blinking. “Hm?”

“It appears we will be alone for a few weeks,” the dark-haired man informs him, his eyes never leaving the canvas as he continues the easy-going conversation on a rainy day in New York.

“How so?”

“The others are going to this conference of sorts in Milan after all.”

“Thankfully I am keeping out of that,” Erik snorts. “Artists parading themselves and their views on the art is about as interesting as watching paint dry.”

“There is actually something quite stimulating about watching paint dry.”

“Nothing that I can see.”

“I can always show you, Erik.” He smiles. As always.

“I am a sculptor, not a painter.”

“I am a painter and yet I love watching you prep up the metal pieces for your installments,” Charles argues, and Erik knows that to be truth, as often as he tends to usher Charles out of his workshop. “Art enjoys its lack of limitations, does it not?”

“How comes you are not there with them? I bet you’d love to gush about the state of the art while having some Italian vintage,” Erik snorts, the image of their first meeting in the exhibition back in Paris still fresh on his mind.

“Oh no, most of those people are not at all stimulating. Then I rather watch paint dry, or talk to you.”

Erik grimaces at that. “Talking to me is as stimulating to you as is watching paint dry?”

“I love watching paint dry and I love talking to you, so yes.” He shrugs.

“You know, it is these moments that make me question why I ever befriended you.”

Charles chuckles, momentarily stopping his dance. “I know I am irresistible.”

Erik scoffs, though he supposes there is more truth to it than there should be. Because there is something very irresistible to Charles’s person. Erik can see it with nearly any person Charles interacts with, himself included. There is something about him that drives people into his orbit. Like bees attracted to a colorful flower, promising nectar.

There is something intoxicating to Charles’s enthusiasm not just for his own work but that of everyone else. While he will express his views on some Pollocks – which he finds bollocks, all the more enjoying that poor rhyme – and artists whose work he finds “empty” and “devoid of the essential of the art, its meaning or lack thereof,” Charles tends to find something good in almost anything.

He always has hope.

And that is irresistible, something that may or may not have made the decision easier for Erik to leave his balcony and the croissants behind for a shabby apartment in the middle of New York where coffee never tastes quite like it did back in Paris and where his impersonal apartment leaves him frozen in time more often than it should.

“You know, your silence tells me that you tend to agree, which I take as a compliment, Erik.”

“I don’t honor your words with a reply, that’s a big difference.”

“Ah, those talks will certainly take me through the desolation of the empty studio until the others return in a couple of weeks. I thank God that at least you stay by my side, my friend.”

“Someone has to, it appears,” Erik sighs. He shakes his head with a grin before walking into the separate room of the workshop where he can work on iron, tin, gold, and steel without disturbing the finer artists in their daily routines.

“I shall terribly miss you, Erik!” Charles calls out as Erik rolls back the big metal door to slip inside.

“You know where to find me.”

“I always do!”

“And no peeking!”

“I would never! I will be patiently waiting for you once you decide to join me again, my friend. Until then, au revoir.”

As Erik rolls the door back shut, he can hear Charles hum the chanson J’attendrai by Rina Ketty, which has Erik snort while at the same time miss Paris just a little bit less. Charles has a pleasant singing voice and brings him right back to his balcony with the undead plant and the promise of a new beginning shining brightly behind the steel of the Eiffel Tower, with no more than the promise that he will wait.

○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○

“Check, my friend.”

Erik leans back on his arms as he looks at the checkerboard another time, pondering his next steps. Chess grew to be one of his greatest self-indulgences because it is within this game that he feels more direction than he does outside the doors of the studio or within the walls of his impersonal apartment. And thankfully, he found a match in Charles who is always eager for a game, no matter what time of the day.

“I still wonder why you kept that thing,” Erik ponders aloud. “I mean, there is fancier ways to play the king’s game, I’m sure you are aware.”

“But we are in a studio where there is dust and paint and clay flying around on a daily basis. Why would I waste good, polished wood on something I may very well get paint on? This is about the game itself. And thankfully, it would stay the same even if we played it with a bunch of rocks and squares drawn on the ground,” Charles argues. “And anyway, I think the checkerboard has a certain charm to it. I found it abandoned in the back of my drawer when I moved into my apartment in Paris. It reminds me of the good old days.”

“Sometimes, you have to leave those things behind,” Erik mutters.

“And sometimes, you have to keep things to keep alive their memory.”

Erik moves his rook with a frown, making sure to keep his eyes set on the small chessboard instead of Charles’s piercing blue eyes, fearing they may catch just those details Erik is intent on keeping out of everyone’s view. He enjoys playing chess with Charles, did ever since he realized the man was a match to him – and was eager to play whenever both took a break from the art and didn’t yet crave the bitter taste of nicotine to die on their tongues.

What he doesn’t enjoy about it is that very often, Charles talks about things fresh on his mind, things Erik wants to leave abandoned, far away from himself. It makes Erik feel like being caught, and he doesn’t want to be caught, can’t stand the thought of being trapped, the memories of rain and fences too fresh on his mind, no matter how many years passed since then. Because that would lead to admissions about himself, about what he thinks, what he looks like inside, and those admissions are reserved for his art and his art alone. Erik can let them all out there, he can all hide them there, in plain sight. But there is no hiding in plain sight when confronted with Charles Xavier. And sometimes, Erik isn’t sure whether he likes that.

“I really hope they will return from Italy, you know?” Charles contemplates, one hand under his chin, curling his lips into a frown.

Erik wrinkles his nose. “Why wouldn’t they?”

“Temptation is strong in that city. A great artistic scene and the Italian sun… Italian food… Italian wine… I can see the appeal… and then of course… the intimacies and inconveniences coming along with it.”

“What now?”

Charles chuckles softly. “You do not believe that any of them will remain celibate throughout the trip to Italy, do you? They all shake it up already here in New York.”

“All of them?” Erik makes a face. “I knew about Emmet and Sally, but…”

“All of them. They just switch around a lot. Emmet and Sally are the only ones who seemingly want to commit to a relationship, even though they both have since explored the possibilities of the number three, if you understand.”

“You know, Charles, there are those things I am not eager to know, and yet, you are the one forcing me to keep them in mind from now on,” Erik huffs, moving his pawn.

Charles removes one of Erik’s pawns. “My sincerest apologies.”

Though both know Charles is by no means sorry. For that, his grin is far too wicked.

“So now you think they will form a community in Italy and just shake it up all day?” Erik questions, which has Charles shrug. “I wouldn’t put it past them, let’s leave it at that.”

“And you didn’t join them? Now I am all the more surprised,” Erik huffs.

While Erik tries his best to keep out of the private affairs of others, he didn’t miss Charles’s seemingly innate ability to charm, sometimes smoothly, sometimes with the grace of a klutz, talking about “groovy mutations” such as brown hair for some reason. Erik can’t tell whether Charles was in a steady relationship ever since he got to know him, though he dares to doubt it since Erik tends to wind up at Charles’s apartment more nights than maybe he should. And he never saw someone there with him, not in Paris, not in New York. There never were strewn around clothes forgotten or someone hiding in the bathroom when Erik made his way inside with the bottle of bourbon. There was always only Charles.

What exactly Charles may be looking for in a relationship? It is a mystery to Erik, too, though he makes sure not to put any effort into learning the truth. After all, that is Charles’s business. It is mere curiosity, Erik tends to think, because a small part of him would like to know what someone as curious as Charles Xavier may seek in a partner. However, despite his way of making people join his orbit, Charles seemingly mastered the skill to keep himself behind a thin layer of fog, leaving Erik always wondering but never quite knowing.

“Oh, you wound me, my friend!” Charles exclaims dramatically, clutching at his shirt. “I am not a man for the quick passions and meaningless couplings. My heart could not take it. I am far too committed to everything I do… and everyone I do.”

“My sincerest apologies.”

Charles smirks at him before looking back at the checkerboard.

“Well, if all of them decide to stay in Italy to follow all aspects of their various passions, we may have to close down the studio,” Erik continues, removing one of Charles’s pawns.

“I would never let that happen, believe me that, my friend,” Charles argues, a kind of sincerity in his voice that has Erik look at him with a grimace. “How would you prevent that anyway? We all share the rent.”

The dark-haired man shrugs. “I have my ways. For that, it is too important for me to maintain the studio. It is the one way creativity can thrive, for me at least.”

“Well, I suppose some may eventually wind up being sated with the gelato and pizza… and the needs of the flesh,” Erik offers, pushing the immediate thought away of when was the last time he satisfied such a need, well aware of the answer, and even more acutely aware of how he doesn’t want to think about it, wants it gone as far as possible, much further than Paris could ever be.

“One can hope,” Charles sighs heavily.

“You have enough of that anyway,” Erik scoffs, far too much to his liking at times, but he grew accustomed to it like he grew used to Charles ghosting through his workshop when he is not supposed to.

“For the both of us most certainly,” Charles laughs, easily, as always. “But you know what?”

“I bet you are about to tell me.”

“I would consider manslaughter for a true French croissant right now. I don’t know what they do with the pastry, but it’s miles away from what we are served here.”

Erik snorts at that. “Tell me about it.”

And just like that, Charles is right up close with him when not long ago, he was a thousand miles away. Those shifts, they are maddening to Erik. And yet, he also grew used to them, no matter how much they irritate him at times. They are constants in his life, too, and oddly so, they create a kind of direction, a drive forward, to the man shifting away.

“I suppose the French put more love into their food. For them, it is more than a way to satisfy a bodily need. It’s a way of life, really. And a very tasty one,” Charles ponders.

“I can only agree to that,” Erik says, moving his knight.

“The manslaughter or the croissant?”

“Maybe both?”

“Ah,” Charles laughs, always easy, something between incredibly close and far, far away. Erik looks past the painter over to the canvas where the acrylic paint is still drying. “I see you made good progress today.”

Charles looks over his shoulder before flashing Erik the brightest of smiles, reaching all the way up to his eyes. “It went rather quickly, yes. I was surprised myself. And how was it for you?”

“Same as old.” He shrugs.

Charles is one of the few people who know a bit more about Erik’s ongoing struggle with creating statues. Erik wouldn’t want him to know, but Charles noticed his shit work before, which was the reason why hiding seemed rather ridiculous by the end of the day. While Charles didn’t press for details and Erik wasn’t willing to give them either, Charles understood that Erik struggles to finish his statues as of late, which makes it all the more irritating to present them at exhibitions, receiving praise for what he knows to be incomplete without a purpose other than not being able to add the final touch.

Thankfully, Charles was graceful about it since the day they exchanged muttered words of understanding, never making mention of it in front of anyone else, not even alluding to Erik’s struggles with his own art. It isn’t in Charles’s nature, it seems, to purposely embarrass someone or point out the errors of their ways, unless they are born out of malice or ill spirit. He is too kind for that, and too kind to say no.

“Oh well, the worst you can do is put yourself under undue pressure. Art needs room to breathe and grow,” Charles points out to him, his tone so soothing and comforting that Erik feels both the imminent urge to hold it close and let it warm his heart and push it as far away as he can because he knows he needs the pressure, the edge. It got the job done before. It has to again.

“Tell that my landlord,” Erik huffs.

Charles studies him, asking quietly, “Are you in financial trouble yet?”

“No, the last exhibitions paid really good money, so I don’t have to worry for another three months. After that, I may have to see to it that something gets done again. Though even then, I have my savings, so there is nothing to really worry about.”

Erik learned the very hard way that you always have to prepare for the worst. He doesn’t live in excess. He always make sure to have enough in his bank account to get out of the country fast, and start over somewhere else.

Perhaps that is part of the reason why his apartment looks that empty, too. So that he is quick enough to abandon it, if he has to, so that he leaves nothing of himself behind for others to find, for others to see, to miss.

Charles smiles at him, albeit a bit uncertainly. “Good, I wouldn’t want you to be in any trouble, my friend.”

“I always find my way around, Charles.”

“That I know.”

“Check.”

“Ugh!” Charles grunts, leaning his head back. “I shouldn’t have given you that opportunity with the knight.”

“No one asked you to.” Erik can feel a thin smile creeping up his lips.

“I know, but I also know you have me at checkmate in two more rounds, which is disappointing for me because I definitely had a chance there, had I not made the dare.”

Erik cocks an eyebrow at him. “Do you want me to go easier on you?”

“Oh, please, never!” Charles insists. “Now pass the sentence, my friend. Let’s not prolong the moment of truth for my poor queen.”

Erik puts the queen away in a swift motion. “Checkmate.”

Charles throws himself to the ground in theatrical fashion, an exasperated sigh falling from his lips as he settles down on the concrete floor. His long fingers play piano on his ribs as he continues huffing.

“Are you seriously pouting now?” Erik teases.

“I am thinking.”

“About how you lost?”

“No, about the Sistine Chapel,” Charles sighs, shifting many, many miles away, all the way to the Vatican, it appears.

Erik makes a face. “What? Why?”

“We don’t have any frescos on the ceiling, though we certainly could have, considering how many able artists we have here who could easily put something up there to personalize all that naked concrete. I mean, look at all that empty space up there!” Charles thinks aloud, his left hand leaving his torso to wave around in the air.

“Isn’t the workshop supposed to be a kind of empty canvas so you are not distracted from your own creations?” Erik questions. He never gave it any thought what the studio looked like. It suited his purposes, whichever those grew to be, and it created a constant, a sense of direction in Erik’s life, to somehow manage his daily routine even when he feels entirely lost in the world.

“But hardly anyone looks at the ceiling while they work, so that shouldn’t really be distracting for anyone,” Charles argues.

“Well, you do.”

“Which is why I keep thinking about it,” Charles sighs. “Maybe it would spark my creativity if there were frescos up there for when I glance up to see nothing but a vastness of gray concrete. And cobwebs… someone should dust up there some time. Ugh.”

“I suppose you can talk to the others about the possibilities of having a Sistine Studio,” Erik offers.

Charles grins at that. “I like the sound of that. Sistine Studio, quite catchy, that, even more so since we are no longer in Paris, which left us with the New York Potpourri, which is not at all as catchy as it was back in the day… Sistine Studio…”

“Do you already have an idea of what you would paint on there?”

“Very much so.”

“Ah.”

“Do you want me to elaborate in more detail or would you rather resume your work?” Charles questions, always easy, yet always mindful. Sometimes too mindful to Erik’s taste, because he finds himself scared of the care, the comfort.

He dared to sink into that again, and it left him without an umbrella even years later.

Erik exhales deeply as he puts the checkerboard away to lie down on his back next to the curious painter he followed from Paris all the way to New York. Charles smirks at him brightly before looking back up again. He stretches out one arm to point it at the areas he wants to see redone in color, likely seeing before his eyes already in painstaking detail how he would want to shape the world, even if the world is only the ceiling of a shabby studio they all pay too much rent for.

“Right there, we could have the scenery of Paris, with the Eiffel Tower, for matters of iconography. After all, it must be recognizable even by those who are not of the fine arts. And on the other end, New York, evidently.”

“Evidently,” Erik chuckles, easing into those moments even though he would rather be much more hesitant, more restrained, but following Charles’s long fingers as they point to the ceiling make him forget about his lack of direction, following, for once, only just those swift movements and the soothing sound of Charles’s voice.

“Perhaps the skyline in the background, with some taxis stuck in traffic and the city lying under a strangely comforting blanket of smog,” Charles continues, painting in thin air already. “It would be a voyage, you see. A tale of the past ebbing into new beginnings. A tale of hope. We could have images of every artist of our little potpourri up there. Oh, and there has to be water.”

Erik frowns at that. “Why?”

“I need some blue.” Charles shrugs, seemingly not feeling any urge to elaborate.

“Ah.”

“And then metal, of course, for you.”

“Much appreciated,” Erik snorts, amused, finding himself somewhat surprised at how much he likes the thought of a piece of himself up there despite the lack of himself in his own apartment. “And what of yourself would you put there other than your own image?”

Erik is irritated when there is no instant reply from Charles, as he would expect. Turning his head slightly to look at the young man beside him, he can see an uncertain frown forming on his red lips, his eyes fluttering.

“Petrichor?” Charles offers at last, only ever adding to Erik’s irritation. “How would you draw that – and even if you can, how is that quintessentially you?”

Until this morning, he didn’t even think about petrichor, which makes it hard for Erik to think that this impression of the senses, in any way, encompasses The Clairvoyant of the scene, the man who seems everything and nothing at the same time, who seems to be always at home and always at the studio, up close and incredibly far away, saying nothing and saying everything, the paradox in Erik’s life managing to give direction by not offering any direction at all.

“The artist is in a constant process of reimagining himself, so perhaps I cannot fix myself in my essence because I keep changing?” Charles puts forth, though his tone tells Erik loud and clear that there is a thinly veiled truth behind the smog swimming up before Charles’s brilliant blue eyes.

“Now we are getting philosophical,” he huffs, somewhat frustrated that he seemingly won’t come any closer to resolving those mysteries, clearing that fog, to see what lies underneath.

Erik sighs, trying to see the journey up there, all the more disappointed for what he knows to be no good reason, but Charles is shifting away again, and he doesn’t like it at all. Because that man knows more about him than most others, and yet, there are a great many things Erik doesn’t know about the constant paradox in his life. He doesn’t know when Charles comes and leaves the studio. He doesn’t know how he creates those paintings. He doesn’t know if Charles had or has a partner and what he would seek in a partner to begin with. And he shall be damned all over if Charles remains right about the allure of the covering, not knowing what is underneath.

“One thing I know for certain, though. There has to be a checkerboard somewhere. That much goes without a doubt.”

○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○♦○

“So you will be leaving?” Charles asks, cleaning his brushes, creating swirls of color in the glass jar of turpentine solution.

“No chance for the rain to stop today,” Erik answers, rolling his shoulders. “And it doesn’t seem to me like any progress is in sight.”

“I am sorry.”

“It’s alright. Maybe tomorrow.”

“One can hope.” Charles smiles at him, not as easy this time, bearing much more meaning than Erik can take at times, because it tells him that, yes, Charles knows, yes, Charles understands, yes, Charles comforts. And he wants none of it while wanting all of it.

“And you?” Erik asks, kicking away invisible stones.

“I am just about to finish up. I just have to clean the brushes before I go. Emmet was raging mad at me when I forgot it last time, even though I will say in my defense that I dutifully replaced them all by the next day.”

“Emmet is… one of a kind.”

“We all are. I like that about us. Being like everyone else? Both impossible and even if it were, entirely boring,” Charles huffs. “Either way, I won’t keep you from heading home.”

Erik just keeps standing there silently. Whenever Charles is about to leave at the same time as him, he always waits, if only to break out of the cycles of his and Charles’s creation for once.

Charles smiles silently at him before continuing his routine of cleaning the brushes, having understood the message, no doubt. When the last brush is safely put away, Charles walks over to the basin to rinse his hands another time to get rid of the smell of turpentine. Once he is done, he mindlessly wipes his hands against his worn, slightly splattered shirt. Erik starts walking to the hangers, then, Charles following right behind.

The woolen cardigan Charles brought quickly covers the stains on his shirt, leaving him to look like a professor more than the eccentric artist Erik saw walk around the studios mere moments ago. Those shifts, they are maddening, but they are also constant, and in that way, a matter of getting used to, Erik reckons.

“Erik, before I forget it!” Charles suddenly calls out, whirling around.

Erik furrows his eyebrows. “What is it?”

Charles lifts his woolen coat off his favorite hanger, to reveal an umbrella underneath.

“Here,” he says, handing Erik the black and white object. “You seem to keep forgetting yours.”

“Oh… thanks,” Erik mutters, his mind making any effort to think of the reason why his old umbrella is gone and why he didn’t buy a new one since.

“It’s nothing,” Charles assures him, though it is not nothing for Erik, and that is about as maddening as Charles’s shifts. Because it should be nothing. It is, for all purposes, no more than a cheap umbrella his friend bought for him after having noticed that Erik kept coming without one in hand, all the while complaining about the rain. And yet, holding it in hand, it feels so much heavier, bearing on so much more meaning than it likely does.

“Alright, I believe it is time for us to head out, yes?” Charles continues as he slips into his woolen coat.

“Right,” Erik agrees, proceeding towards the door, his fingers unable to notice the metal of the knob as he twists it and opens the studio to an even darker shade of gray awaiting the two men outside, thunder rolling in the far distance.

“I wish you a nice day, despite the weather, my friend,” Charles tells him, smiling all easily once more, far too easily. “Let’s hope petrichor soon returns to us.”

“Bye.” Erik waves numbly as Charles crosses the threshold, or rather, jumps over it with the same grace with which he walks through his apartment. Charles’s own blue umbrella reminds Erik of one of those cheap monochromatic photos on canvas so popular in furniture stores where just a single object is left in color.

Erik watches Charles walk away with fast strides, hopping over puddles, making his way through the gray mass of people with the lightness of a feather in the wind. Once he approaches the streetlight, however, Charles, for some reason, closes his blue umbrella. He leans his head back and lets the rain drip on him, soaking his skin.

“Truly one of his kind, that one,” Erik mutters, shaking his head as he turns the key in the lock and starts to walk, now with the umbrella in black and white shielding him from the rain, leaving only the faintest doubt on his mind whether Charles knows he actually doesn't forget his umbrella but keeps staring at it late at night, abandoned in the corner, bent out of shape of memories he wants to leave behind about as much as he yearns for the smell of freshly baked baguette, his small balcony, and the plant that neither died nor ever truly seemed to live.

#charles x erik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #cherik #cherik au #fanfic #fanfiction #ficlet #beginnings of something #ramblings #musings #yadda #charles as a painter #erik as a sculptor #yadda yadda

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robhorninginternalexile · 5 years ago

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“monoculture”

I just read this essay about “monoculture” by Kyle Chayka, who regards the concern with it as a symptom of internet-induced atomization and isolation. “With streaming platforms like Netflix or Spotify, you never really know how many people are watching, hearing, or following the same things you are,” he writes, “so you’re never sure which media experiences are shared in common and which are not. That leaves us consumers feeling adrift.” He distinguishes between the top-down monoculture of earlier media eras, and the bottom-up monoculture that’s emergent with algorithmic filtering and the feedback loops that result.

Chayka makes the good point that “what monoculture entails is a feeling.” That is, the “monoculture” he is talking about is an individual intuition, not something that can be derived statistically. It is not an objective thing but a particular perspective. It is not experienced collectively but is an individual’s fantasy about what collectivity might be, what form it could take without demanding all that much from them.

Nostalgia for “monoculture” often seems as formulaic as the formulas of supposedly monocultural products themselves. It seems performative of the fear it is expressing: that affective formulas will somehow fail to bind us together, as if they aren’t always in the process of failing, revealing their limits by partly succeeding. The monoculture and the nostalgia for it are both expressions of the desire for commodified belonging, of consumption being sufficient for membership in a community, even if it is one with no stakes, one that in the first bloom of its metastasizing popularity seems to excludes no one. Even if it exists not as a real community but the idea of one, a la Erik Olin Wright’s Imagined Communities.

Complaints about the monoculture are equally formulaic, and thus also seem like bids for approval and for belonging, only to a more exclusive consumption-based community that has reached a point of not taking all comers. But again, this is merely an orientation toward an idea, not a relationship to an actual community. Such complaints reveal themselves as a desire for the monoculture they seem to disparage, if only so that the complainers can seem to supersede it. The people who purport to despise mass culture obviously have more invested in it than those who supposedly consume it mindlessly.

I end up feeling that particular examples of popular things tend to be blamed for a broader “unoriginality” that ultimately has nothing to do with any specific objects (or any specific content) but with a generalized fear of or contempt for difference in itself. Popularity is not the content’s fault. Chayka worries that “there isn’t enough room for products or projects (or even places) that are not memes, that aren’t pre-optimized for sharing or scaling,” which is a way of making the point that media technology can force any representable thing (including “the self”) to adhere to the logic of the commodity. The problem with popularity is not homogeneity; it is that it reflects capitalism and its incentives reshaping the field of possibilities. Or in other words, capital is forever and always homogeneous, and complaints about the “unoriginality” of the novelties it inspires are just veiled critiques of capitalism, and its reduction of everything to the cash nexus.

Content may be formulaic, or become the template for new formulas, but the desire for formula is always different from the desire for some specific thing that has been formulated. A lot of cultural consumption reflects a desire to participate not in a community but in the formula (i.e. what now manifests as algorithms and algorithmic culture), but this desire launders itself by purporting to be about some specifics about a particular object. No one wants to admit to themselves they desire the comfort and protection of taste conformity; it may be that conformity offers no security when we are conscious of it as a motive.

Also, people tend to side with content about nonconformity far more than they side with nonconformists in their midst; perhaps this is a form of compensation, if not a way of masking one’s lack of willingness to invest the effort into understanding difference.

Latching on to popular trends not only protects us from expressing attitudes that others will ridicule or reject; it saves us the work of forming attitudes, or making decisions, of assessing our criteria. At best, such rationalizations appear after the fact, in the alibis we make to ourselves for going along with the current, for harmonizing with a zeitgeist whose production exceeds any individual’s capacity for sifting through what’s available, all the different possibilities for how to live that exist at any given place or time.

Embracing the zeitgeist, accepting algorithmic recommendations, attuning to the “monoculture”— these are strategies to protect ourselves from what might appear to ourselves as the arbitrariness of our tastes. We take on the horizons of mass culture to obscure the cultural horizons that are particular to ourselves and which betray our specific limits, our biases, our habitus.

Embracing monoculture, from that perspective, is not an expression of unoriginality or surrender; rather it reflects a desire to feel as though we are shaped and responsive to the live culture, in the moment, which can range much further than we can as individuals, fixed by our biographies within certain cultural limits. A monoculture is obviously larger than ourselves; it indicates an expansion, not in the quantity of cultural reference points but in the quality of what can resonate, with a significance that is not merely self-generated or spurious.

I tend to think that we want to be formulated by a monoculture, which would confirm the widely promoted fantasy that we can consume ourselves into being something, into having an identity or a personality. I think that in most cases, we form tastes after the fact, when the choices have been made for us, which allows us to take a retroactive credit for them, for better or worse. I think algorithmic recommendations do more to create our sense of self than reflect some pre-existing, established selfhood. And I think “monoculture” captures a vague set of feelings related to all of these phenomena: identity formation, homogenization, disavowal, vulnerability, and relief.

Chayka’s claim that “each digital platform is its own monoculture, with a homogenized style optimized for the structure of the platform and the algorithms that serve its recommendations” seems correct to me, but that is not to say platforms produce homogeneity. They allow for it to be expressed in different ways, which itself is paradoxical. Perhaps every person is ultimately unique in their preferred mode of conformity.

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years ago

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Waver 1 - 13 (FINAL) | Prisma Illya 1 - 10 (FINAL) | Prisma Illya 2wei! 1 - 3

Another (and to be honest, the last) batch of impressions from the Fate/ project.

Waver 1

Well, this’ll be interesting. I’ve been hyping this show up for a while for myself, so let’s see how it goes.

Geez, this intro is like a dang movie! I’d love to see a proper Troyca movie! (<-Says the fan of Troyca.)

Wait, if it’s Kayneth Archibald, then is Archibald relatd to Archisorte? Or am I just making thing up here…? Also note Reines refers to Kayneth as “Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald”, possibly meaning Archibald is the middle name, since El-Melloi is a shared surname (or is that a title…?). That probably means Archibald =/= Archisorte and both are similar-sounding middle names. The fact Reines is Kayneth’s niece also explains things quite a bit.

Why is Waver upside down…? Won’t the blood rush to his head soon? (Sure, it allows me to ogle his hair more, but…logic rules more than my stupid whims, y’know?)

Interesting. You can see that although Waver grew out his hair, there’s two layers to it – the longer one in the front and the shorter one in the back. (I’m just curious because I like the hime cut – which is pretty similar - and long hair on dudes in general, in part because both are fairly rare.)

Okay, that explained my gripe with upside-down Waver. Thanks, Reines. (<-genuine)

Aw, Waver buddy, even at this stage, you’re plenty cute. Don’t ever change! (<- As you can see, I am an easily pleased person in most cases.)

Melvin who now???

Troyca’s comic animation rules! It’s too bad Idolish7 Second Beat is using chibis instead of this…

Professor Kayneth. I forgot he had a formal title. I wonder, does Waver - I mean, El-Melloi II – have that title as well?

I guess I should’ve known Saber had the capability to look scary, but…I never knew Saber could look so scary…

*cut to eyecatch* - *points at eyecatch* Okay, someone tried to save budget here, didn’t they???

Aw, friendship between fiction boys is cute…until it involves the puking up on blood on one end.

Waver is the OG underdog here…don’tcha think?

“…with several demands.” – Uh-oh…this is gonna be bad, isn’t it?

You need a Tuner for Magic Crests? (…Like a tuning fork, but a person?) *brow raised in suspicion*

…is it appropriate for me to say “Oh, good lord!” now? (Okay, I did that rather deliberately, but normally in these notes I’d self-censor it to be “oh, goodness” or something like that.)

Seriously, the black-haired dude in the Ionian Hetairoi is my favourite, even if only because he looks like Waver (and he’s really easy to spot, to boot).

Why is this in first person??? I’ve dropped entire shows based on their usage of 1st person cam! Room Mate and Makura no Danshi basically scarred me for life on that front…and both of those are TV shorts!

Hey, wait a second. This “use a quote on the titlecard” thing is clearly an Ei Aoki sort of thing to do. I mean, it’s in ID: Invaded as well…

Waver 2

*new blonde girl appears* - So this is the rumoured Animusphere girl (Mary), huh?

Bounded field, huh? I’m glad I chose to watch F/Z before this, then. Now I actually understand the (rough) mechanics of how that works.

There’s assassins and then there’s Assassins…*thinks about the Holy Grail War*

As it turns out, astromancy is basically astrology.

The one thing that bugs me about “Modern Magecraft” (there’s a similar concept of New Magic in Mairimashita! Iruma-kun) is…how is the magic “modern”…? Especially in a work like this, where the magic is based in arcane rituals and bloodlines…you really need to establish how the “modern” bit works.

Gray is facing away from the Animusphere girl (Mary), I noticed.

“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” – Sherlock Holmes – Basically, the fact I’ve memorised this quote is one of the lingering impacts of my time in the Detective Conan fandom, as it can be used on things like quizzes, not just mysteries.

Can we please use proper English, Waver??? (Says me to a character whose name I still find nonsensical enough to not be proper English.) As I said previously, “whydunit” is modus operandi or motive…the new bit is “howdunit”, which would be the method.

I do believe the geocentric model was overthrown by people like Kepler.

Gray kind of looks like Saber with that hairstyle, come to think of it.

With the way Gray hides herself under that hood, it’s no mystery as to why guys love her…at least, I know ThatRandomEditor does. Of course, I’m heavily neutral on the whole affair because I don’t swing that way, but…you know…

LEMPC seems to stand for “Lord El-Melloi Production Committee”, if I’m guessing right.

I seem to remember there was a quote somewhere that said the only constant in this world was change…hmm.

Waver 3

They seem to keep calling Japan “the Far East” (or at least, Japan is part of the Far East). That’s a pretty antiquated term for a supposedly “modern” magic anime. I get vaguely peeved by the term “the Far East” because it causes people to take an oriental viewpoint on things and thus it’s kind of like people from the Anglosphere looking down on Asians. (I also get vaguely peeved by the term “Westerners” for much the same reason and “Caucasians” because it implies all people of the Anglosphere come from the Caucasus, which is false…then again, these niggles are specific to international studies, so I have a vested interest in explaining them.)

…Wow, that star-eyepatch girl is…really something, to be thirsty specifically for Waver’s Iron Claw. (Then again, with my weird tastes in things, who am I to critique her?)

Flitz von Erich. I was surprised to learn this guy actually exists…on Wikipedia, at the very least.

“Any lady should know about wrestling.” – I disagree, Luvia.

Blue furry electrical creature…I dunno how the zoology in this show works, but the fantasy series I’m reading as of the time I was typing this comment has a blue creature called a Raiju (literally “thunder beast” in Japanese, so it would suit the “Thunder” in the episode title). If it’s anything like that, I’d laugh myself silly.

This girl on the poster seems to be called Flan Noir (or something similar).

“…yellow, round, fluffy-smelling…” – What? Svin, you have no right to call a girl those words!

When is this series set if people don’t have phones as a standard? *Googles* Okay, if F/SN is set in 2004, then F/Z is 1994. That would make sense, actually. The internet as we know it was first used in 1995 and didn’t become widespread for home use until a few years later, as I remember having computers in 2004 (albeit the blocky ones with the dial-up).

I was looking at images for the source material and I think I know why I like Waver (aside from the fact he has long hair). Normally I like the boys whose appearances are hard to get right, such as En…Waver in the novels and manga for this series sometimes looks grumpy, sometimes he looks constipated and worst of all, sometimes he looks like Snape with a hook nose.

Okay, so I googled Caules to figure out who his sister was…and I got Apocrypha spoilers. See, his sister is Fiore, who is apparently in that series.

The videos got encoded funny again…

There seems to be a mystery around why Svin and Gray can’t be together…well, one deeper than just “Svin is gaga for Gray [for reasons we don’t know at this point in time]”.

Ha, the El-Melloi Class is basically just the Misfit Class from Mairimashita! Iruma-kun.

“Only the flesh was bitten off.”

This Jupiter gibberish, I assume, is drawing upon the mythology of Jupiter – that is, Zeus – as the god of thunder and king of the gods (thus presiding over living beings).

The English is good on the bill, bar a space between “Mystics of magecraft”.

Norwich is apparently a “faculty” which the Modern Magecraft Theories guys – i.e. Waver – rule over.

Can you imagine Waver swearing? Since I had the volume off, I basically made him say “…if Sir Gueldoa had resorted to brute force, we would’ve been f***ed” in my head…and that was hilarious.

Aw, thanks 7Mononoke. “A cowardly thief sneaks away in the night. If you stride away, bursting with song, you are a conquering king.” That’s a quote from Rider himself.

So the Association has set positions for Masters in the War? Geesh…that must be hard on Waver to find out they’re closed, considering how much Waver pines for Rider.

Waver 4

I finally got the chance to listen to the ED last ep and now it’s the OP I can hear properly. This OP isn’t particularly impressive, considering it’s an instrumental (instrumentals always seem to have less impact for me unless I’m looking for something to chill to), but it does capture the London-esque spirit of the setting very well.

What’s up with this metal (?) maid off to the side, anyway?

“Good thinking to leave the door open…” – For some reason, even though it’s a completely different and much more benign context, this made me think of KyoAni and my heart sunk.

Atrum Galliasta…I hate that man. He may look hot, but he was nothing but a b*stard to Medea.

Bolo ties…nrgh…Basically, ever since Arima wore a bolo tie, I’ve become fairly bugged by them. That’s why Bram’s bugs me.

Aw, Waver, buddy, plase don’t sacrifice yourself again. I read on the wiki you become a Servant’s vessel (specifically for Zhu Ge Liang), so keep your hopes up.

I’m seriously feeling ID: Invaded vibes from this episode, what with the lightning.

I suspect a locked room murder is going to happen soon, knowing the genre. Either that or some other crime.

Considering Fate/ was an eroge-based thing initially, these sex jokes…there’s probably plenty of them out there.

Well, it seems this series only makes sense in that non-Detective Conan way, i.e. you want to know how it all comes together and can’t necessarily figure it out for yourself until you know how the magic works. I’m randomly going to guess this is more Jupiter-based stuff and call it a day on that front.

Seriously, I never got what was up with nightgowns (or just pyjamas in general) having hats. You don’t need protection for your head at night…that’s what pillows are for, yeah? (The only reason I see a hat-like thing working with nightwear is a onesie and that’s meant to be part of the inherent appeal of the thing.)

Waver 5

I feel like Adashino is meant to be an Irene Adler-type figure…

“Peaceful Fairys” (sic)

Where did Kairi’s scar come from…?

The Black Dog was in Mahoutsukai no Yome as well, but this one looks a lot less inviting, huh?

It seems, like the name Rail Zeppelin implies (as “Demon Eyes Collection Train”), most of the people involved in this case have Magic Eyes (or whatever they’re actually called). I wouldn’t be surprised if Kairi had them as well, considering he’s wearing dark glasses in the middle of a thunderstorm.

“King Arthur is a dude, right?” - *laughs madly* They finally managed to parody their own bulls***! (Well, I’m not counting Carnival Phantasm or whatever else because this is the first time they threw a meta joke in there in the whole of this project, as far as I can remember.)

Trimmau seems to be the maid’s name…huh. They never mentioned that earlier, I don’t think.

So what’s the difference between Fairy Eyes and Mystic Eyes?

Wait, does that even work…? The entire house is the murder weapon? That’s basically breaking the “secret passageway” thing on a larger scale.

So what’s Trevor’s motive…?

The dogs running towards the Workshop reminded me of the Hunger Games for some reason…must be the climax.

That fairy isn’t emoting much…

Oh cra-Wills is going to sacrifice himself, like Adashino was going to do! That’s the second time I’ve seen that in 2 days (the first was in the Hypnosis Mic manga about the Dirty Dawg).

Uh…Waver’s not particularly fit or fast, is he…?

Can you be paid for your case if your client is essentially dead…?

Adra? I read around and Adra seems to be a way to spell the location (or whatever it is) in the first case…which got adapted into a stage play, but not an anime. That’s probably what he’s (Waver) referring to.

Notably, the title is translated to “lance” but yari means spear…

Waver 6

I seriously wanna slap that pink-haired girl…Update: Her name is Yvette.

This is basically Gray fanservice…

If Gray = Saber and Saber =King Arthur…hmm…does it count as a girl’s party?

Homeland? Since Britain is Saber’s (aka Gray’s) home country, I think they meant “hometown”…I’d hav to listen to the Japanese to make sure, though.

I still think Waver is a stupid, or at the very least false, name for a boy, especially if he did come from Britain. That’s basically my one limitation on him as a husbando.

The red bit of the eyecatch was shapd like an eye…it did catch eyes in a sense, after all.

So Trimmau is sustained by magic.

Locked-room…or rather, bounded field…mystery time!

Luvia did mention wrestling in another episode…

I had to google that, but the Separation Castle is from the Adra case mentioned in episode 5. No wonder I don’t remember it…

“Are you suggesting there were faults…” (from Luvia) - Ooh, I was thinking the perpetrator was caught inside their own bounded field or maybe it was an outsider, but that works too, Reines.

Add calld Luvia out for her extravagance, LOL.

Catch-as-catch-can appears to be “no-holds-barred fighting”, particularly wrestling.

That case was both informative and possibly solveable by the audience. Both good qualities for a mystery.

If you summon the spirit again, is it the same Rider with the same memories? Or can you summon a different version of the same Rider with amnesia, much like Rin did with Archer? Update: Oh yeah, I did read this on the wiki at one point but then forgot about it. The next episode (7) confirms that Rider wouldn’t remember Waver if he were summoned again.

Waver 7

…C’mon, admit it, show. The glasses are not only there for plot reasons but to up Waver’s status as megane boy for the rest of this case. Not that I mind – I actually really like megane boys, but I’m nowhere near the love of Meganebu – but in the case of plausibility, I wanna poke holes into it.

Auction for which Mystic Eyes now…?

There’s a guy…with an elephant head…I know I shouldn’t be bugged by it, but I need the MST3K mantra right now.

This is gonna be a Murder on the Orient Express thing, isn’t it? All cases set on trains seem to take cues or make homage to it. (I may not be that proficient on Christie in comparison to Holmes, since Holmes was Conan’s inspiration, but Murder on the Orient Express I have read and I did secure an anthology of 4 Christie novels at one point specifically so that I could improve in this area.)

The main series never explained the bad blood between the Church and the Tower, did they…?

*sweatdrop* Let me guess…when Yvette mentions “multiplay”, she means a threesome, right?

How do anime people see out of those blindfold thing, anyway??? (Or is it that Leandra has Mystic Eyes that were sold off or otherwise tampered with?)

I believe the word is “palate”, Kairi (or subbers).

Anime characters being bagworms with their blankets is always appealing, no matter the gender. It’s funny and/or relatable, after all.

Does Gray get motion sickness…? Update: Seems I spoke about a minute too soon. She does.

Waver 8

How does Waver know that Adashino got the documents about the train? Is it because she was in all those places at all those times and he connected the dots?

This lady has heterochromia. Specifically, one is brown and the other is blue or green.

Hmm? I thought the character design was familiar for this. As it turns out, Jun Nakai (who did the character design for this) also did Gate’s, which explains it.

Dionysus is the Greek god of wine, IIRC. Hephaestion is, as (s)he explained, the confidante of Alexander the Great (had to google this one).

It’s hard to see before the brightly-lit scene where Olga reappears, but as shown, Waver seems to have cut off part of his forelocks on the left side.

What’s an Odo???...ooh, fanservice…*ogles*

The summoning of Hephaestion and Trisha’s murder may or may not be related…we just don’t know how, yet.

I think a Detective Conan Murder on the Orient Express-style mystery would be a good video ga-*googles* There’s at least one of them out there already (albeit only in Japan)...namely, this one. Spoke too soon.

Oh yeah…this is Olga’s new room, isn’t it? I almost forgot about that.

Update: I think this look at the Adra Separation Castle case is interesting. It’s similar to posts I would write, but done by a professional – namely Richard Eisenbeis of Kotaku and Anime News Network.

Waver 9

So if there’s a Servant…you have to find the Master.

Olga reminds me of Reines…kind of.

LOL, whoever thought of a zombie cooking show…?

This series really goes all-in on the zombies and the fake-outs thereof, huh? Dangit, Melvin, don’t scare us.

Melvin has a really odd relationship with Waver, huh? If you’re really insisting you’re “the only person to ever be able to hurt Waver”, I don’t quite see how you guys can be friends in the normal sense of the word.

Why would someone have a violin at a time like this…?

Interestingly, they don’t bother to do any fanservice of Caules. That scene with Gray and Yvette was fanservice for those who like them, but the only guy who’s getting to do any fanservice in this series is Waver himself…(what with him being naked and knocked out right now.)

“Sibyl” seems to be a synonym for “virgin”…(*whispers “Awkward…”*)

Update: After reading some of Marth’s posts on this series, I’m inclined to call this “Murders on a Train (with an Exploding Helicopter for Good Measure)”.

Waver 10

For some reason, there’s episode 0 – 9, then 11 – 13 on the service I’m using. Where’s 10?

I think Waver’s relationship with Rider is interesting because of the way I think of relationships myself. Waver has made it clear that he wants to see Rider again so he can basically prostrate at his feet all over again (and maybe win a wish and/or see Oceanus while they’re at it), but – hey, hear this! - I used to believe, when I was still an impressionable kid, all relationships, whether they be between friends, family or even lovers, lasted roughly in the same state basically forever (as in, friends stay friends forever, they’ll never be so far apart that they can’t kep their relationship alive etc. etc.)…Obviously, I was wrong and arguably, this change in thinking, plus the related changes in technology, are where my ability to fleetingly but passionate love both 2D boys and the series they come from comes from.

Wait, so the Child of Einasshe (sp?) is the forest, yeah? I don’t think I got that 100% straight.

I never thought the shield form of a Mystic Code could be used for snowboarding down a mountain/hill…whatever Gray just went down. I didn’t even know Add had a shield form, for that matter.

“[U]sual individual” – LOL. What a way to refer to Waver.

“Wait a minute!” – I’m just imagining Phoenix Wright all of a sudden. A Waver legal mystery series would be boring as all get out – I’m far less interested in the courtroom versions of mysteries and more interested in how the pieces fit together. (Update: Then again, I am a person who likes the action genre and courtroom mysteries don’t have much of that, which might also explain my choice.)

“…lacking the element of motive to begin with.” – Well, Waver’s not wrong…

I’m observing this apple and noticing someone skimped on the detail around the stem. Does anyone still remember Art Academy for the DS? After looking at some promo material for it, I basically learnt how to draw a proper apple (and nothing else, really). If an apple is just drawn as a circle, it doesn’t quite look like an apple up close. (Two of the main things I screw up on when drawing are perception and the colour of highlights, both of which are covered in something like an apple stem and the related indent.)

Oh goodness…I was hoping Karabo would keep his vision (or actual eyeballs)…but that’s gruesome.

I’m guessing, based on the wheelchair, that Waver’s still paralysed or otherwise not able to move around like normal. Update: Spoke too soon.

Someone encoded the video funny again…

Waver 11

What was that crossword thing…? A warding spell of some sort?

Is that an owl in the back?!

Stealth fighter…Rider wanted on, didn’t he?

Every time he appears on screen now, I basically curse Melvin. He’s entertaining to watch, sure, but he’s annoyingly prodigal (= wasteful). He’s basically Dice from HypMic at this stage (aka he’s the sort of person who’d bet away his own clothes, given the chance and incentive).

Look at the way Waver’s hair drags behind him as he walks…it’s gorgeous…

“Residual Image” (as translated in the title) is literally “the left-over image” (zanzou). Not surprising, but I find the exact combo of characters used interesting since it could be short for “nokoru eizou” (where the nokoru’s character is read as zan in the combo, as you can guess).

Waver 12

Wow…this series really pulled something out of its butt this time, huh? “The guy without a heart”…no viewer would’ve known that actually referred to a character called Dr Heartless unless they knew of his existence somehow (the closest they would’ve been was having an inkling that this pointed to a name of the culprit).

There is an owl in the back of the auction room!

Ay? So what the heck is Pandemonium in this case?

“dotard” – Turns out this means “an old person, especially one who has become physically weak or whose mental faculties have declined.” You can’t say I don’t enrich my vocbulary through watching anime, huh?

I’m still wondering…why adapt case 7 of this series (Rail Zeppelin)? Why not case 1 (Adra)? Update: I don’t know where I pulled the number 7 from, since this is volume 4 – 5 of the series. Apparently some of the cases were anime-original though.

Waver 13 (FINAL)

Oh, Flat, you stupid…

Waver’s exasperated faces are great. No wonder Reines likes to toy with him…

I can assume Rail Zeppelin is a Ghost Liner, yes?

Can I guess that Adashino ~likes~ Waver…? Update: Turns out that’s not quite the case.

Ooh, Waver without his shirt is se-okay, I’m getting distracted. Seriously though, Waver never showed his Crest in F/Z. I never even knew what it looked like until now! The fact it’s such a simple design in comparison to his Command Seals is…kinda underwhelming, really.

I think there’s a bit of a pattern between Jakurai (from HypMic) and Waver…namely, they suck when it comes to drinking. (Also, of course, the long hair. Don’t forget it, never forget it.)

Shut up, Add!

For some reason, I felt like a lot of that last part, while getting closure for Waver, it almost had connotations of “I’ll meet you on the other side, Rider”…so it felt kind of sad, to be honest. That talk between Reines and Olga I don’t think I’d understand without Apocrypha and Grand Order, but I guess that’s to be expected in such a huge franchise. Anyways, moving right along!

Illya 1

I’ve been a bit worried about what I’ll have to subject myself to for the sake of Magical Girls…

Was that…Taiga?

Who’s Liz…?

Okusama, huh? (Okusama = someone’s wife, although it seems to be used in the plural here since I don’t think Kiritsugu and/or Iri are dead in this timeline.)

The subs I’ve got say Shiro is adopted here too (when it’s not in the Japanese), although I wonder exactly how much of UBW is going to be true in this anime…

Hmm…a bit of digging reveals Luvia’s not a Master. So throwing out Lancer is really just a joke on how Lancer gets roasted early on in Grail Wars, right?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…squick, much…(Thank goodness the source I was using edited out the loli fanservice, so I can tolerate this series a lot more…but still, suggesting you have a romance with your step-brother, even if it’s known you’re not related from the beginning, is…you already know my feelings on that, based on my reaction. Shiro is, what, 15? About twice Illya’s age!) Update: Okay, so he has no confirmed age in Prisma Illya, but he’s 17 in F/SN so I’d assum the same or similar, seeing as he attends the same school. It’s fine if it’s platonic, but this is clearly an Onii-chan, daisuki! thing the likes of which Oreimo throws down! Thank you for calling it out though, Ruby.

Oh my gosh, this looks like the Rhongomynaid (Detective Waver) and Excalibur (or whatever Saber’s Noble Phantasm is called) summoning beam! LOL!

Ruby, you lech! Don’t go praising the angles! *shakes fist* (Seriously, what if magical girl mascots were paedophiles…? *blank face* Welp, considering what’s out there on the internet, I wouldn’t be surprised if a hentai or something had such a concept.)

Hmm? Turns out the word for Servant means something like “celestial hero”. Makes sense.

Nice callback to Saber and Shiro!

Illya 2

I thought Illya would say that her parents are dead…turns out the show’s not that grimdark (to the point where it wouldn’t set the show after Kiritsugu and Iri’s deaths), huh?

Do the sticks have a gender? The subs said “she” for Ruby…

LOL, it’s Rider. I thought Lancer was gonna get his butt kicked all over again (thinking more along the lines of CCS).

It’s Gay Bul-I mean, Gae Bolg! (I’ve been reading TV Tropes again…can you tell?)

This episode was pretty pedestrian. I like it more than the first one.

What’s up with the CGI…?

Oh! Bunbun, who does Yuki Yuna! Update: They only did the illustrations for some of the series. They also did SAO illustrations, although that’s of less significance to me.

Illya 3

The sticks do have genders!!! That’s like claiming Jesus for kakera with Mudae! (Yes, that’s possible. I got him in one server.)

The power of fujoshi…is amazing! How did it get to a girl who’s so young?!

These angles are a bit disturbing…

“Casao”, LOL.

Magical girl nakama, huh?

Illya 4

MST3K mantra!

Whose quote is that again…? “Don’t think, imagine”? Update: It turns out to not be anyone’s quote at all, if Google results are to be believed.

Uh-oh! Saber Alter!

Illya 5

Padding the episode already…?

The mist is a quality of a Berserker, right?

Geez the angles piss me off…

These sticks have brains???

Can you call it teamwork if they’re always complaining about each other?

Illya 6

More padding…

Illya’s UBW!

Geesh, that last-minute shot of Rin and Luvia popping out of the ground scared me for a bit…

Illya 7

*sigh* It’s the sick episode…

I recognise the vacuum cleaner. I have the same one at home.

*sigh* Random fanservice of elementary school girls. This is what gives anime a bad name.

*Sapphire pulls out a USB port* - Ohhkay, is that stick fanservice, in a sense…? Because that’s awkward too.

Maids went out of fashion years ago…

“Lyrical Radical Genocide” - I think this Lyrical Radical things is parodying Nanoha.

Based on the cloak, it’s an Assassin.

“Listen, if you aren’t careful, you’ll die!” – Yep, because people die when they are killed. I almost missed that meme for a bit.

Illya 8

Illya’s still reeling from Miyu’s talk, huh?

I noticed it said tomoda(chi) in the background at one point.

Does Miyu exist in any of the alternate universes?

Ah, there’s yuujou (friendship) in the background as calligraphy.

I think the video got encoded funny again…

Geez, complaining about boobs? The series got worse…oh, I forgot Shiro was around in this series.

…who’s left? There’s been Saber, Archer, Lancer, Assassin, Rider, Caster and…who? Berserker, that’s who.

Illya 9

Ohhhhhhhh brother, not more bath scenes…

Iri looks almost exactly like she does in the Eiznbern Consultation Rooms! (I found those around and watched them today.)

Thank goodness the fanservice is censored…

I never realised Berseker had heterochromia until now…

One thing that I assume makes Saber’s outfit look nice to thos that like girls is the window in the top…but it goes to waste on Miyu, LOL.

I find it interesting Illya has all these concerns – the ones (or similar ones) Iri harbourd in F/Z.

Hey, the bridge! This is the bridge where Rider dies inn F/Z, yeah?

The ED looks different this time…

Illya 10 (FINAL)

E-Eep…loli fanservice…

Now Miyu is basically what Waver is to Rider, no doubt about it.

Bulls***! Speak of the devil! I was wondering what Waver looked like in the Illya style, because I read on the wiki he makes a cameo in season 2, and…here he is. Didn’t expect him in season 1, though.

Another new ED animation. I find it interesting they’ve never once had to recast any VAs throughout the entire existence of Fate/ anime…not that I know of, anyway.

Hiroyama Hiroshi is the original Illya creator.

Okay, that’s the end of one season. I feel kind of fatigued since I finished the Eiznbern Consultation Rooms today as well, so I’m going to take a break from watching more Illya until it’s necessary to watch again in a few posts’ time.

Now that they’ve collected the cards, I’m wondering what the series intends to do next…

Illya s2 Pt 1 Ep 1

They clearly skimped on the budget when Shiro was leaving the house…

I keep forgetting Illya is meant to be German…

That bad English…is actually there in the ep. title…

Oh great…schoolgirls talking about erotic swimsuits…

This s*** is what you call “Class-S”! I have no interest in it, because I don’t swing that way! (Sorry, yuri fans…)

The problem with series that aren’t 100% made with you in mind is that your favourite characters might look ugly…that’s especially the case with En, Jakurai and Waver.

Ryudou Temple, eh? Let’s hope Assassin still looks good.

I don’t think I’ve seen that before…namely, being able to hear what’s going on outside the transformation while it’s happening.

Now this 2 Illyas thing…this is new, alright.

Illya s2 Pt 1 Ep 2

LOL, what a horoscope.

Truck-kun! I don’t think Illya would make a good isekai protag, come to think of it.

Who is this nurse? I feel like she’s from some other part of the Nasuverse… Update: My guess was right. That’s Caren Hortensia, protagonist of Fate/hollow ataraxia and Kirei’s…uh, daughter. I know he had a wife. We never met said wife, but seeing the daughter really drove that fact home.

Uhhhhhhhh…okay, now the lesbian loli scene just made things go off a cliff for me. I’m not against lesbians or yuri – to each their own – but that scene was clearly meant to be pleasing to a certain audience.

How does anyone kill anything gently…?

Ohhhhhhkay, strike 2 for loli fanservice.

I seem to remember…that’s right, Alice from the [something] no Kuni no Alice series was evaluated on her coffee-making skills (by Julius, I think it was). That’s why I’m thinking of Alice when I see Luvia praising Miyu on something similar.

Wa-hey! It’s Rin’s Azoth dagger!

Well, the mechanics of the transformation are also something you have to think about. I’ll give the show kudos for that.

Illya s2 Pt 1 Ep 3

Can we not with the whole “Onii-chan, daisuki!” thing?! That’s it! That’s the last straw! I’m finishing this episode and aborting early so that I can preserve my dignity…and get some proper sleep for once.

The fact Miyu thinks Shiro resembles her brother must not be a coincidence…(I’ve become far too Fate/ savvy, haven’t I?) Update: It seems I was right. Apparently, Miyu was taken in by Kiritsugu in a certain universe, but apparently this is a bunch of spoilers.

Genki na aisatsu was in the back.

This is just getting worse and worse…

So now Kuro’s name is Kuroe (Chloe), huh? Anyways, good riddance, loli fanservice! So long! I won’t miss you one bit!

#lord el-melloi ii-sei no jikenbo #Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files #fate/kaleid liner prisma illya #Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya 2wei!

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

Text

February 24th-March 1st, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 24th, 2020 to March 1st, 2020. The chat focused on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.~! (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until March 1st, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

FeatheryJustice

So far, first impressions, holy cow the art is amazing.

Ash🦀

1. My favorite part about the beginning was the style. It immediately drew me in how everything was lovingly rendered in color that made me feel like I was seeing the world for the first time. It made me want to paint, too! 2. When we first see the man. Whoo buddy. Whoooooooo buddy. That was... a finely sculpted painting there. I could’ve framed him and hung him on my wall if the artist would let me. WHOOOO BUDDY. 3. My favorite character so far is Martel. I don’t write them often, but I love seeing kids in media, and I love the design of her hair. I know it’s a random thing to make me like her but I just... really like her hairstyle. She’s cute, and I’d guess she’ll be a breath of much-needed light air later in the story. 4. Mystery man and Martel are precious. 5. I point to answer 2 here. That lovingly sculpted chest? My heart was a-flutter I tell you what. 6. The art style is just... SO LOVINGLY RENDERED. The quiet moments of baking bread juxtaposed against a chaotic battle was SO. GOOD. Aaaaaah Could also be that that particular part is my favorite part of making bread so it was extra special aaaaaaah 7-8 I haven’t seen enough of the story to answer these yet! But the art is banging and I can’t wait to read more. Subscribed.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've read this before and the art and story aren't really my thing. Since critique is allowed I could give art comments if CronaJ would find that kind of thing helpful? But even though I won't be following the story I was still impressed by how much care the author puts into it. Both from looking at their comic and from reading their comments on this discord and on the tap forum it's clear they've put a ton of effort into the art and story, and haven't cut any corner.s And all the panels are so rendered. I wonder how long it takes to draw a page?(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hey everyone! I'm the artist and writer of Whispers of the Past. I want to thank you all for your kind comments and observations so far. It really means a lot to me to hear what others think of this heartfelt project. I know that the story is in the beginning stages right now. But I'm looking to post the end of the first chapter this week, so hopefully a bit more will be revealed soon. Please feel free to ask me questions about anything, or (to answer @Eightfish (Puppeteer)'s question), to offer critiques for how I can improve what I'm doing.(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice & @Ash🦀 I'm glad you enjoy the artwork. The painting process is probably what takes me the longest when it comes to pages. In response to @Eightfish (Puppeteer)... It takes me around 30-40 hours per page, and I try to post 2-3 page updates. Obviously, the amount of time spent per page varies depending on several factors, such as: the number of panels, the level of complication of poses, how many characters/background elements there are, and sometimes just whatever weird reason my brain isn't working that day ^^; So for my average 5-7 panel pages, they typically take longer than, say, a full-page spread. @Ash🦀 I'm so happy that the first few pages pulled you in! I spent a lot of time deciding on how I wanted to draw those panels, and what style to use, etc. I actually redrew the first 3 pages at least 5 times before settling on them as they are. And, you can hang and frame the image of our male MC if you want, haha, I actually don't have prints of it, but it is something to consider That particular panel was a one-page spread, so I was able to dedicate a bit more detail to it. Maret is a worthy favorite character. She is too pure and precious, and she just wants to make friends with everybody. Even when the "strange man" is kind of curt and unfriendly to her, she wants to befriend him. Also, I am SO unbelievably glad that you picked up on the juxtaposition in the bread-making scene! Ahhhh! I had a lot of fun with that one

FeatheryJustice

1. The Pacing, I love slow starts to comics because I get to absorb it and learn more. 2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD 3. Mysterious dude from the water of course. He has pointed ears, you know something is up. 4. I like Maret and the mysterious man, it seems like a child being like 'this is new and I want to learn more' Also thank you for not writing a grating child character. They sometimes turn up too pure to be real, or too grating because they are too real. Maret at least has that nice balance of a healthy child will not acted spoiled but still want things because child like the scene where she was shoo'ed out of the room. 5. I think we talked about htis a long time ago, but I love the way you draw hands and feet! 6. Nothing so far, not sure where the story will head so I can't answer this. 7. I like the start of the mystery and the slow ramp up. We are just getting comfortable and I'm sure we are going to get rocky soon! 8. Art, from seeing Cronaj spend so much time on it, it's freaking amazing. I can almost feel the characters come to life.

Also on a side note, I want Maret to hear from the Conch shell (As a memey joke) "Under the sea, under the sea" XD

(Mysterious man has red hair, I wouldn't be surprised he turned out to be a mermaid XD Sorry I'm just on slight crack theory mode right now. He didn't sell his voice though)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

When I was first writing and planning this comic, I was a little scared about how slow the start was, but I'm glad that it has been interesting despite the slow nature of the exposition.

2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD

@FeatheryJustice Accurate! He's kind of an idiot, and he panics over nothing. For Maret... I actually based her character partially off of my two younger sisters, so that might be a lot of what contributes to her personality and realism. We did talk about hands and feet before! I love drawing hands, because they are so expressive and complex, but hate drawing feet because they are complicated. But I did study from life to draw Maret's feet, because I felt like I would mess it up otherwise ^^;

Hahahaha! I could definitely make an edit of that, tbh.

FeatheryJustice

That would be a funny joke panel if you ever want to do one. XD It's like replace the diaolgue memes XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And I was partially making a mermaid joke when I had the reference to mermaids in the comic because he is a redhead

Definitely an idea....

I would title the episode "Whispers of the Crack"

FeatheryJustice

OMG YES I would love to see that XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I have a WotP meme folder on my computer already

carcarchu

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? Mystery man pretty 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? i liked the part where maret was listening to the conch for mermaids, had a lovely magical charm to it 3. Who is your favorite character? mystery man 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? not too many interactions so far but maret and the mystery man were cute 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! the sunset scenery had a nice vibe

also i can see why people were saying it reminded them of ruroni kenshin, mystery guy especially with his hair up and on the cover image is reminiscent of kenshin but storywise doesn't remind me of it at all

carcarchu

I have some critiques that i'll cover in case you don't want to see them. SPOILER The anime-ish emotes (the blush and the anger vein) to me clash against the realistic artsyle and detracts from the moments, some more subtlety with them would be appreciated. And Maret doesn't really look like a child to me, her face is very mature so it makes her look older than she is. Moreover the 3 characters that have been introduced thus far have very similar facial features. For maret and agatha they are siblings so it makes sense but the mystery man is (presumably?) not related to them so i'm not sure if that's intentional. In any case more facial diversity would be appreciated going forward (if it's just your style that's fine too). And this is a really small nit-pick but the first panel of chapter 6 has horse hooves with the sfx thump thump thump. In my opinion this sfx should be clip clop clip clop END SPOILER

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@carcarchu Thanks for the notes! I actually had a hard time deciding how to portray blush noticeably in a more realistic style, haha, but I can definitely see why it's jarring. Do you have any tips for how to depict blushing without anime emotes? I would just make it more reddish/pink, but it always looks weird to me (or too unnoticeable). As for Maret... She looks like a child to me? She's six, so she isn't quite a toddler, so I don't know if that changes your perception of her. She actually resembles my youngest sister a great deal, and my youngest sister was 5, almost six, when I designed her. (I just looked through the pages again, and there's maybe one panel that I think she looks slightly older in, so if anything, I'll try to fix that panel.) So yes, obviously Agatha and Maret look very similar, hahaha. They are biological sisters, so that makes sense. There will be at least two more characters introduced that are also related to them (and look fairly similar as well) and one character who will be mentioned who is also related and looks just like Agatha. Other than that, Izrekiel does look somewhat similar, I suppose, but it might also be partially that he canonically has a very feminine face as opposed to other male characters to be introduced later. It could be that and also a bit as a result of my style. I'm not sure. Ahhhh, sound effects! I also struggled with deciding what to do here. I wanted to do something different than "clip clop," mostly for a stupid personal hang-up. (I don't know why, but "clip clop" always looks so comical to me.) But if it helps translate the sound better, I might just have to bite the bullet and change it. Thanks for your feedback! Even if I don't agree with all of it, it does help me to take a closer look at what I've done with some different eyes. (edited)

carcarchu

That's fair! You don't have to accept anything just my thoughts (i hope nothing i said was too harsh) for me thump thump is a dull sound whereas clip clop or clippity clop is a sharper and harsher sound

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

yeah, I think you're right about that

thump is more like a heartbeat

or someone falling on carpet or something

carcarchu

and as for the blush question i think there are ways to depict a similar emotion without relying on the blush itself as a short hand like the softening of the eyes, the shape of the eyebrows, looking down and heck even body language can help with this. expression is more than what is shown on just the face

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thank you. I always feel like my characters look too stiff, like mannequins. ^^; I'm probably not going to completely redraw any old panels at this point, but I might make a few alterations to these panels to make it more consistent with later panels down the line.

carcarchu

i also noticed that a lot of your panels are the characters looking straight towards the "camera" and i would appreciate more varied angles and perspectives

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Particularly with the first ten pages, that is certainly true

I got that note before, but I didn't redraw every panel, only some which looked particularly bad.

carcarchu

personally i never edit old chapters unless i 1. forgot to draw something important 2. there's a huge typo 3. it's missing a panel

any critique you can just keep in your heart and implement if you choose to do so moving forward

keii'ii (Heart of Keol)

2. I really liked "what if it's mama?" - a lot of hints condensed there: family history, how the topic of deaths/ disappearances are handled around children (either in that family specifically, or in that culture), and also a moment that shows a glimpse of Agatha's sisterly love instead of having the readers assume it.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Really loving the comic so far! Right now, I'm most interested to learn about this family situation. I'm guessing their mother is dead or missing, but what about their father? I suppose his clothes were still in the house so maybe he just went out? Or maybe they're both missing and it was just fairly recent?

Also, the paint-y style of this comic is just incredible

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

https://media.tenor.com/images/878a64d90a1139bcb1e863ee29bfa929/tenor.gif

I'm so happy that you guys picked up on the clues about their mother. It alludes to some pretty plot heavy stuff that very few people have really commented on so far.

eli [a winged tale]

Oooh I’m so excited for your story Cronaj! Here are my answers~ 1) I love the beach scene! Maret with the shell is adorable and you established their relationship right away 2) Fav moment is probably the scene transition to our lad waking up with Agatha going about her day. It’s very peaceful and I’m a sucker for slice of life stuff. 3) Can’t pick just yet~ I like Agatha as a solid protagonist though. 4) More Agatha x mystery man please 5) I loooove the illustration aesthetics. Bold colours! 6) haven’t gotten to the core theme yet I’m sure but first impressions/meeting are always exciting. 7) I’m excited for what is to come. Can’t wait for the call to adventure. 8) Strength is definitely the art - beautiful and bold. Keep up the wonderful work!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@eli [a winged tale] Woah!!! You're the first person I've heard say that they like Agatha! She's mah girl! (And don't you worry, there will definitely be a lot more Agatha x Mystery Man ) Thanks for participating

eli [a winged tale]

she’s a solid sister!

sagaholmgaard

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? I like how the intro had a nice balance between art and text. Usually if there’s a lot of text on the first page I can get deterred from heading a comic, but here I think it worked really well! And the loverly painting of the ocean sunset also reeled me in and fit really well with the poetic text! 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? ”He’s the prettiest man I’ve ever seen!” LOL (and she’s right too…) 3. Who is your favorite character? I like the kid! But I’m excited to learn more about the other characters as the story goes on! 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? I liked Agatha and Mystery Man interacting, it felt very natural and I’m curious to see what comes of it. But the dialogue felt pretty strong which I gotta applaud 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! The beautiful shot of Mystery Man on the beach of course, lol! I love the way the hair is rendered, it really feels like it’s has weight and is spread out in the sand, if that makes sense? 6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores? It seems like it will explore a lot of interesting themes in the future, such as grief and finding where you belong, so again I’m interested to see what the story brings! I’m sure it’ll be good no matter what :D Overall I like what I’ve read so far! It’s not the type of art style I usually gravitate towards, but I can tell a lot of love is going into rendering and I think we’ll be seeing Crona’s art improve a lot as the story goes on, which is always exciting to see!

RebelVampire

What I like about the beginning of the comic, which also goes for what I like about the art in general, is the attention to detail in the background colors and lighting. I've never seen such a beautifully rendered (what I assume is) a sunset. It really makes everything have this great almost mystical atmosphere to it. In general, though, the art so far is definitely the comic's strength because you can see the sheer passion in every drop of it. My favorite moment so far is when Maret gives Izrekiel some flowers and then drags him off and he's just meekly protesting. It was both cute and comedic and the preciousness hurt my heart. This is also why this is my favorite pair of characters interacting so far. I think the age gap combined with the context of Izrekiel's situation is gonna lead to lots of awkwardness that I look forward to. As for fave character, though, I would have to go with Agatha right now. I don't know what it is about her, but everytime I see her I feel like I'm looking at an old soul. Like maybe someone who still has a lot to learn about the world, but is wise beyond her years in other regards. And it makes her a captivating character for me.

While I'm not sure if this will be an overall theme throughout, I like that the comic starts to deal with the theme of loss and hope. On one side you have Agatha who just kind of accepts loss and deals with it, and then you have Maret who just lives on in hope. And I kind of feel they represent two dynamic sides to the issue about whether its better to cling to hope or just move on and deal and how both can be harmful if not expressed in the correct way. As for overall story content, while we're not that deep in, I do like it starts with a multitude of mysteries cause mysteries are always great for making ppl want answers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Since Crona said they were good with art critique: The main thing I noticed when I first saw the art was that, though lovingly rendered, the characters' faces and bodies are kind of stiff. They don't really scrunch up their eyes and faces when they emote- it's mostly just the eyebrows (this was especially noticable when Maret was crying, or on the latest page, first panel, where Agatha's face doesn't really match her body language or words). And characters often don't seem to twist their bodies as much as they should. Oh- also the same camera angles of faces and bodies are repeated a lot. Front, 3/4, and profile. It'd be cool to see some shots with foreshortening from above or below the characters. Also the lighting is pretty diffuse- the characters seem to be shaded about the same way, and with the same colors, regardless of the lighting situation. I can still tell where the light is coming from, because there are those strong bright highlights in the direction of the light, but other than the bright highlights everything else seems to be shaded as if there was another light source coming from straight ahead. Also, sometimes characters seem to lose their shadows? Like on this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-3/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=4 where Agatha doesn't cast a shadow on the man, or this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-8/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=10 where they're running.

Those things being said though, I was still very impressed by the sheer amount of effort put into this comic. 100 hours/ update is absolutely insane. And you pay so much attention to the inanimate objects of this world. It makes the story feel grounded. About what someone else said: I agree that the cartoonish blush looks out of place. But I disagree about Maret- I think she does look like a child. 5. Favorite illustration? Definitely Agatha's hands when making dough. Not a critique but just a question: I was confused on the location of the story. Where is this?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ooof. Finally got a chance to sit down and respond to all these comments. I keep rereading them over and over again, so thank you so much for sharing your thoughts everyone! I've noticed a few themes with what people have commented so far: Maret is most people's favorite character, the panel of Izrekiel on the beach is also very popular, and the theme of loss/grief is apparent to the readers (which I'm very happy about.)

@sagaholmgaard I'm glad that you mentioned the theme of "finding where you belong" too, because it is and will be a very prevalent theme in the comic. And reading your comment about how the dialogue seems natural made my day. I used to worry about how the dialogue came off constantly, and to hear that it's strong is so encouraging.

@RebelVampire As is expected, your comments are very thought-out. The interaction between Izrekiel and Maret after he falls from the window is one of my favorite moments so far as well. I'm happy that Izrekiel's behavior came off as meek in this scene, because that is one of the defining traits of his personality. I'm glad for another Agatha fan! She is such a fun (and difficult) character for me to portray. There are so many layers about her that even I am still discovering. She is definitely an old soul, and he experiences growing up have definitely matured her beyond her years. As I mentioned before, the theme of loss is definitely a major theme of the comic overall. And hope as well, since I think the two are very connected.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Thank you for offering your critiques! Character stiffness is definitely one of my major problems that I'm working at. I definitely see what you mean about Agatha's face in the latest update. Her eyebrows look painted on (pun not intended). I have been looking forward to having some more dynamic poses, especially foreshortening, but I do find it somewhat difficult when most of what the characters are doing so far are standing, sitting, talking, and maybe doing something with their hands. ^^; Hopefully, in the future, when more "action" happens, it will be easier to do this. As for bird's eye or worm's eye shots, I'm not gonna lie, I struggle with them so much. I had two bird's eye panels, and those took so much time, and I still don't know how I feel about them. If you have any tips for exercises, I would be so grateful. (Finding reference isn't always possible.) I also would love some tips/resources on how to get better at lighting. Again, lighting reference isn't always possible for specific panels, so it would help me a lot to learn how light works in general. OOOOOOF! I don't know how I missed the lack of shadow on Izrekiel in that panel. That was 100% a stupid oversight on my part. The scene with Agatha making dough had some of my personal favorite illustrations for a while. :) Also, your question about the location, I'm not entirely sure how to answer it?(edited)

It's a high fantasy story, so the location is entirely fictional.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

The best I can answer that is to say that the story takes place in a country called Shai-Ryam, consisting of four major "districts" in a semi-tropical temperate peninsula called "The Aka Peninsula," named after the native people who originally lived there. As of right now, they are in a city called Gon Atam, a seaside village on the western shore of the Nuata District, near the Ocean of Saturuna. It is a city heavy in trade and with a long history, yet quaint and small due to a disaster several hundred years ago. It is only now being repopulated.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Where do you think Izrekiel comes from, and what is his past history that seems to haunt him? Additionally, how do you think he wound up with amnesia and seemingly abandoned by the sea?

10. How will Izrekiel’s past history affect events of the story? In particular, how will revelations about his past affect his relationship with Agatha and other characters?

11. How do you think Agatha’s life will change from her encounter with Izrekiel? Will it somehow lead her to a more exciting life? If so, will it make her miss her simpler life with her family?

12. What are the biggest questions you have so far and are hoping to see answered over the course of the story? Also, what do you think will happen in the story in general?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Ash🦀

9. Okay, so, here’s my theory. Just a guess. So Izrekiel is from a very war-friendly people up north who need land. Izzy just isn’t all about that life, but feels like he has no choice. Then he gets hurt fighting someone close to him (I’m putting money on brother or cousin who lives on the “wrong” side of things, hurt because he just couldn’t fight them at full strength. And then he realizes he can’t do it, while on the ship bound for new fight zones. His captain gets wind of it and is like “oh no I can’t let Mutiny Happen” so HeS all long ike “either fall in line or get off my ship” and Izzy is like “no I don’t wanna fight anymore heck you guys” and the captain proceeds to yeet him off the ship, leading him to the island, which, unbeknownst to him, is the next target. That’s my guess. Might be wildly off. He might be part mermaid. (Merman? Is mermaid gender neutral?) 10. Izzy or his bros probably killed one of Agatha’s family members, possibly the mom? Possibly violently? Which is why she never told babygirl what’s up. It’s probably going to be remembered in the buds of their relationship, hes going to try to hide it but it’ll come to light and she’s gonna be like “Izzy I hate you” and it’s going to make me cry. 11. She’s going to have a bread making partner in the end. They’re going to have adventures and go back to a domestic bread making existence, I speak it into being now /smacks table That may just be what I want to happen, though, as I very much enjoy bread making and wish others the same simple joy of giving dough a good smacking. 12. IS THE MOTHER REALLY A MERMAID OR WHAT Is Agatha a mermaid Are they like Selkies where they can come onto land a little Is babygirl a mermaid too(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg... I love reading these theories. I won't say you're wrong or right, but this is a riot. I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

FeatheryJustice

9. Pulls out my Crack Theory brain Okay, so Iz is actually not a very hot man, but actually a really hot princess, transformed into a man since she was exciled from her country but their rules are to give the exiled a new life so they shape shift them into something else. Iz got shifted into a man, and the lovely wide bare chest was because their top was lost to the ocean like how someone would lose their bathing suit top to the sea. Anyways, knowing nothing about themselves, Iz now lives their life as a man never remembering they were a princess in the first place. Ends Crack Theory 10. Don't know, can't say for now. 11. She could always politely kick him out later, so I can't say for now. XD 12. I want to know if there are monsters in this story or just like different species warring it out.

RT|NitghVision

^ I like this theory

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) Oh! I missed that it was high fantasy. I thought the story was historical fiction. No wonder mystery man has pointed ears. I was so confused- I kept thinking, oh, she looks Polynesian and lives by the ocean. But wait, her name is Agatha and she makes bread? And the houses look Japanese? What culture are her clothes from? The world being completely fictional explains all that. I think I was confused by the real names in a high fantasy story- you don't really see that a lot. Finding the right reference for lighting or pose is impossible for me. I have no tips. The only way I've found is to make my own references. I will sit in front of a window, or take a lamp into a dark room or something, and prop my phone up and take photos of myself in the poses and lighting direction I need. But hey, at least that way I don't have to worry about stealing someone else's work?

(i also like feathery's theory)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice Crack theories are best theories.

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Oh! I had no idea you thought it was historical fiction No wonder you were confused! There's a lot of weird cultural-mixing shenanigans going on in the setting, and it's a bit confusing.

I should try that, for now the lighting has been primarily sunlight, or diffused sunlight (which I don't think I depicted correctly).

RebelVampire

Time to crack story theory. I don't know enough about the world to guess a name to where Izrekiel is from. However, wherever it's from, I get the impression its embroiled in a bloody war that is suffering heavy casualties. I imagine that Izrekiel mightve been in a battle and just wound up in the sea by circumstance - like maybe was taken as a prisoner of war and jumped overboard to escape. Something like that. As for the amnesia, well, Imma chock that up to PTSD cause the brief flashbacks we got don't look pleasant. However, I definitely think someone will come looking for him, and that these someone's will make trouble with the people he's just met - perhaps even forcing them to abandon their home with people in pursuit. And I'm sure as Izrekiel remembers more, others are going to really view him as potentially dangerous and blame him (but then get over it cause he's pretty O_O) Given that, I do think Agatha is gonna leave home because of Izrekiel's past running after them. I do think she's inevitably gonna miss the simpler life. Not to the point she won't rise to the challenge, but to the point that she's gonna be like "wait theres danger out here and i didnt even get a sword from an old man in a cave!" As for biggest questions, right now I'm just kind of hoping to see more of the world cause current world events really are gonna dictate a lot where the story could go.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Dude I was literally googling the names to see what country they were from because I thought they were from some obscure real island with a history of cultural mixing that I hadn't heard about before.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hahaha! Yeah, Agatha is an English name. Maret and Kelan (a character that hasn't been introduced yet) are Irish names. Aalia (another character that isn't introduced yet) is an Arabic name. Kehhasan (another character) is a made-up name. Izrekiel is a made-up name inspired by the biblical names Israel and Ezekiel (although technically it is often spelled in their alphabet as "Isarikieru," which has a particular meaning and pronunciation in an even older—fictional—language). Ryukou (another character), is a real-ish name, based off of the Japanese names "Ryu" and "Kou," which mean "dragon" and "peace/light" respectively. Four other characters have fictional names: Ia, Tammamori, Soro, Ghita (although technically it's a Greek name, that wasn't my inspiration). And of course there are hundreds of side characters with a combination of weird names and name origins.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Deo101 [Millennium]

So! I don't really do so well with answering questions, but I do want to say it's inspiring to me to see just how much WORK is put into this comic. It's really lovely to see so clearly how much you care for it. Just want to give some general words of encouragement, keep it up!

Ash🦀

I’m most looking forward to seeing more of Izzy how the story develops along with your painting. There are so many hints and peeks at the world, and I can’t really guess where it’s going. I feel like I already care for these characters, and I can’t wait to see their journey. I am also not good at encouragement, as generally I’m fueled by spite. But I just wanted to say, keep going! You got this! We believe in you!

eli [a winged tale]

Keep up the good work Cronaj! Your art is beautiful and I can’t wait till we start rolling into act 2!

FeatheryJustice

I'm excited to see what else comes up next!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement everyone! I'm so happy to know that you are enjoying the story so far!

RebelVampire

I'm most looking to learning a bit more about the world structure I think. Since I think current events are really gonna hint at a lot what's going on. As for final words, this is an artistically wonderful comic with a lot of love put in, and I can only imagine how things will improve in the future!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I'm just really looking forward to seeing these characters grow! This is a beautiful comic, and I can't wait to get more of it!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Before the book club ends, I just wanted to pop back in and say thank you to everyone for their participation. Your kindness, insight, and critiques will stay with me for years to come. I'm so happy to have found a supportive community of readers and fellow creators!

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Whispers of the Past this week! Please also give a special thank you to Crona J. for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Whispers of the Past, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366

Crona J.’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cronasonlyfriend

Crona J.’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/cronaj

Crona J.’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CronajArt

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #whispers of the past #crona j.

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assassinshots · 5 years ago

Text

It’s all in your head

I’m scared…...terrified even of what the future holds for me. It could be a number of things fueling these emotions. My need to win, never ever wanting to fail or take a loss, or the deep-down feeling of never wanting to disappoint all of the people who support me. It’s thoughts like these that keep us as individuals in one area for the rest of our lives or for a long period of time, never allowing us to progress. The thing about success is that it doesn’t come easy. If we let fear have the final say in our emotions, then we will never know what the future could have held. Have you ever wished that you did something or said something and now you know that you may never get that chance again? That is what fear or just letting yourself get in the way can do no matter how big or small the impact.

I may be one of many people who suffer from this form of anxiety but, I am slowly learning about it from my own personal experience and I just want to share my findings and experiences. One thing for me is that anytime something good happens to me I automatically think of the worst-case scenario. A recent experience with this is when I got a dance scholarship to go to California and go to the WilldaBeast Dance Camp a dream ang goal of mine I’ve had from a young age. I was immediately doubting the intentions behind the scholarship. I am a self- taught dancer so me being able to pick up choreography has always been a struggle for me. When I was presented with the scholarship, I felt that the other kids that were also at the Road to BuildaBeast were 10x better than me. I mean think about it they have been dancing in studios learning choreography for years not their bedrooms or garages. I spoke to DJ Marv one of the choreographers there and let him know my emotions because to be completely honest I felt intimidated and out of place in a room of over 50 people I truly wanted to quit dancing and just focus of photography. When he was the one to give me the scholarship I wasn’t thinking of the positive side of things, I immediately thought it was because he felt bad for me and chose to give it to me. Not once did I stop and think that despite my feelings on the situation instead of leaving, I stayed or the fact that I am an amazing dancer outside of the choreography. It took many many people telling me that I am in fact a great dancer and to realize that the only person standing in my way is me.

With my photography it’s a whole other ball game. For my photography I want to be perfect I have a desire to be the best and one day go down in the history books. I am also fearful of the fact that I will have to make a living and earn money doing photography in this competitive industry. I have felt like I am not good enough or that what I try to convey in my images gets lost in translation sometimes. Just being in school I’ve had my ideas stolen or brushed off as less than. Been told that work I put a lot of time and effort into was something “anyone can do with a camera and doesn’t need a degree for”. With my photography I get plenty of negative feed back from people who know nothing about the subject, just individuals who get photoshoots for $50 from hobbyists. For photography it is not something seen as a true profession if that makes sense like the people I’ve spoken to feel as if it’s not really an art. For me that hurts because I am my worst critique and to be put down like that is no fun and makes me feel smaller that I really am when I have the potential to be great.

From a young age I was my own worst enemy and dealing with the so called “joys” of middle and high school made sure of it. I was ashamed of how I looked, how I spoke, what I allowed to come out of my mouth, and I am ashamed to say that I hated myself. I hated my mixed race that people picked on me for thus making it harder to accept within myself. I hated my hair and how it wasn’t socially acceptable, or that I got ridiculed for my hairstyles involving extensions. I hated my body and how muscular it was, at the time I didn’t know that later on people would kill to look like me because I was the hardest on myself. Being a person with diagnosed anger issues, OCD, and self-image issues was too much at a young age for a child. Of course, I don’t have those negative views of myself anymore but the one thing that did stay was the perfectionist attitude and the pessimism in certain situations, which is a blessing and a curse. As I grow older I learn how to cope with this and make my mind stronger so that way I can always be the best version of myself. I know that there are plenty other individuals who deal with the same things I do, and I just wanted to take some time and share a piece of my personal experiences. Thank you for reading and if you are or know someone who struggles with the same things as me please comment below and let’s talk.

#nashvilleportraitphotographer #nashvillebeautyphotographer #nashvillefashionphotographer #nashvilleglamorphotographer #nashvilletennesseephotography #assassinshots #imagesshottokill #crosscountryrodetrip #burbankcalifornia #willdabeastadams #findyourwhy

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angelinuhh · 6 years ago

Note

Hi there A! Could we get a public review from you? Thank you so much and we hope that you have a breathtaking upcoming week! ~ Admin Catie

DISCLAIMER: this review is onlyreflective of my own opinions and is intended to provide constructivecriticism. there is no obligation to listen to or agree with anything said.

OVERALL:

the reality tv junkie in me loves this concept of this rp. and, asI look around, this typifies exactly what I love about the genre: characterdevelopment, fast-paced events and, of course, a healthy dose of competition. Ilove your color scheme and your theme. for a contained theme, I found it incrediblyeasy to navigate—which was a real and true blessing. however, I do think that there are still many things to improve, Ithink a little more consistency and editing in your descriptions and overallaesthetic could really elevate your rp and make it more accessible andattractive to prospective members. I also would like to see a change in yourrules, both in policy and in tone. overall, I wish you guys the best of luck.

PLOT:

I really do love the rp idea, but I do think the plot page leavesa little something to be desired. For appless rps, especially ones withoutblurbs on the sidebar, you really do need something that is concise, both eye-catching and attention-grabbing, all the while getting to the point. while the content you have on this page isn’tbad, you have a long-ish block of text that can read a little dry at time.

I’ve taken the liberty of editing your plot to take on a more activetone to show you what I mean. while you have no obligation to use it, you dohave full permission to:

There is no greater motivation in theworld than money – and nowhere is that more present than in ParadiseIsland, MTV’s new reality television show. Sent to a private island inpairs and forced to compete challenges and tasks set by the producers, contestantsoften find themselves doing things they wouldn’t normally do, all for a chance at$750,000.

Here at Paradise Island, the fun never stops. With 24/7 Streaming, viewers are given a real-time seat to the drama,the romance and more! While binge-worthyshows are great, the 12 million daily viewers know the truth: they never have to find something new towatch again.

After a rigorous application process, including video essays about why theywould like to be on the show, interviews and even a test challenge was preparedto see which finalists caused the most drama or had the most chemistry, thehundreds of potential applicants were narrowed down to just 40. The producersrandomly assigned each contestant into pairs and, for the duration of the show,these partners were to share a room in the mansion and work together to win thegrand prize.

But what happens next—will loveblossom? Will greed step in? Witha 1/20 chance of winning the $750,000, most of the contestants will do anything to get their hands onthat money, but there can only be one pair of winners.

Who will be victorious in the first Paradise Island?

paradiseislandhq is anappless 23+ pairedmuse roleplay based on reality television. Contestants have been sent to aprivate island and must work in pairs for the chance to win a grand jackpot of $750,000w/ additional prizes. We focus on weekly character development tasks &challenges, plotting between members, in-character drama, and. of course- vacation vibes! Applicants are free toapply for a wanted connection partnership or to have one picked at random foryou!

If you would like to take a crack at it, here’s what I tried to fix.

Have a more ACTIVE TONE

thisis a purely stylistic choice, but i would suggest varying up sentence structureand utilizing your bold and italic keys a little more as most people in thegenre do.

Try to avoid going on tangents

Inthe beginning, you start with the motivator of money above all and thenimmediately move to love and status, thus weakening the power of your opening

Ialso did not particularly think the tangent about streaming services in thethird paragraph was necessary. Your goal is to emphasize that the show is 24/7—you don’t necessarily have to explain that.

Is it… $750,000 or $750,000+, because both were used. That needsto be clear.

The first thing I always look for is the synopsis at the bottom,but yours is a little bit long.

Iwould center it as well. You can do this by entering into the html and putting , I think.

Side note: make sure your navigation tab’s blurb matches the one on this page.

I also spotted a couple of grammar errors. Your biggest and mostfrequently repeated error is run-on sentences and a lack of commas.

RULES

bh, your rules page was a hugeturnoff for me. I don’t think it was your intention, but it was very blunt, alittle wordy (ik ik… im legit the most wordy person on earth) and read kind of…rude. A a potential applicant and as a reviewer, I just- I wasn’t feeling itand would likely be very wary of applying because of it. There are also quite a few run-on sentenceshere, so watch out for that.

I’m not going to rewrite the whole thing, but here are a few specificchanges I would make and alternate wordings to your statements.

Edits

(++) I would put in a HOW WE RP section and add in the stuffabout the tasks, points and challenges. Because that should not go underinclusivity. I also do not understand how it works and I need much moreexplanation. I can guess, of course, but I shouldn’t have to. You need toclearly outline how this rp will be run and how tasks will be delegated and pointswill be awarded. Vaguely stating that there will be challenges and points andwhatever will not work.

(++) Your muses section is very confusing. Especially the agebut also the diversity part. I understand that you feel strongly about this,but I brought it up to some friends and many of them were just as confused as Iwas. I read your FAQ and things did not get any clearer. If I were you, I wouldsimply say “all muses and fcs must be older than 25. Please aim to make yourcharacter’s age believable with your faceclaim.”. And that, “to encouragediversity, if you have more than one character, at least one must be POC.” Asyou have it, it is very murky and kind of defensive?? almost. Like I reallywant people to be over 25, but I guess they can play 23, but also they canactually be 40 but they can play in their 20s. It’s convoluted and I get alittle frustrated trying to read it. In my opinion, you just have to pick asingle age and go with it.

I feel like your unfollow rule is extremely lenient for one ofthese rps. It may lead most of your members being inactive before they getunfollowed.

Alt wordings (some suggestions)

Although it is expected that in-character partnerships will needcharacter development, please make an effort to interact with all member.Bubble RPing is NOT permitted and we aim to make an inclusive environment whereall muns can explore their characters.

Youroriginal statement really put the onus on the RPer like they’re already doingsomething wrong.

We are happy to oblige with hiatus or semi-hiatus requests. Lifecomes up and we want all of our players to be comfortable. However, we onlyaccept these requests through asks that come through our inbox.

Reallythe CAPS and the Do not inform by im… don’t really feel like you want me tocomfortable.

We allow small/medium gifs. Please do not use large gifs. In orderto be accessible we do not allow gif icons under 90x90. >>>>In order to be accessible, large gifs and gif icons under 90px are not allowed.We prefer small/medium gifs.

Feel free to cause in character drama. However, no OOC drama willbe tolerated !! >>> While in-character drama can be fun, OOCdrama will not be tolerated.

idk why but those exclamation points were felt in my soul, man. Sdfjdkf. Look, it’s just a little intimidating.

ACCESSIBILITY :

I knowthis sounds like a small thing, but I really am impressed.Container themes are notoriously hard to navigate but I had little to notrouble going through yours. If your rp grows, that muse tab is going to behell to update so I admire your commitment.

My onlycritiques are that

youneed to finish updating your nav so there are no broken/nonexistent links—whichI’m sure you will do

on your/map page, you have ‘wanted connections’ spliced so both wanted and connectionare links.

I’dmuch rather see a page with all the tags to track than just having them floataround on the navigation. But this is totally up to you to change.

AESTHETIC/GRAPHICS:.

Lovethem. Whoever did them, mostly, did a good job in maintaining the color scheme.My only critique is that I’m not really feeling the headers for, like, the plotpage and the wanted connections…etc. These harsh black borders and script fontsstand out a lot and, while the images are nice, they have a completelydifferent color scheme (dark blue-ish tones to the warm and tropical orange ofthe rest of the theme). I wish they would! Because otherwise, I really do likewhat you have here.

MORE.

I would edit or remove the first question onyour FAQ.If anyone asks the question, you can say to promote age diversity andthat’s reason enough. As it stands, the question and the answer just makes me confusedand, some of the statements like “actors over 25 have more resources” is justuntrue.

thebiggest flaw that I see in your RP is inconsistency and occasional lack ofclarity. here is a list of things I’ve found that varied from page to page.

1. Sometimesthe jackpot is 750,000. Sometimes it is not.

2. Theblurb on your navigation does not match the blurb on your plot page

3. Yourefer to this rp both as appless and semiappless.

TLDR; what i would like to see changed, vaguelyin order of most of least importance. Feel free to ignore any or all of these.

REDO your rules page to include a HOW WE RP detailing thepoints, tasks and challenges

CHOOSEa clear and consistent ruling on your age bending/limits. It might make senseto you and promoting age diversity is very admirable, but, look, we’re alldumb.

EDITyour rules page to be… more affable. It’s not bad as it, but it just helpspeople get through it.

i wrote a few alternate phrasings you can look at

EDITyour plot to be more engaging and concise to really grab people’s attention.

i wrote something above that you may use

DOUBLE CHECK all your pages to make sure that you don’tcontradict yourself in various places.

as a last note and reminder, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE ANY OF MYSUGGESTIONS. There is no ill-will from me to you. As always, this is notintended to be hate and I genuinely want the best for you guys. However, I amterminally cursed to be nitpicky. I’ve done my very best to make sure my adviceis constructive, but please call me out if you find any of this offensive orcrude.

I genuinely like the idea of the RP and appreciate the work you’veput in. Seeing Dev Patel used--- makes my day. Thank you for your time andpatience.

If you have any more concerns or questions, please feel free tocontact me.

#rpt #rp review #rpo #rpc #paradiseislandhq

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