#and three of those are the long fuck-off 20k word chapters

[thevioletcaptain]

Hi! I don’t mean in any way to pressure you but I was wondering if you’re planning on continuing your fic “fortress”? I’d love to see it continue🥰 again no pressure I just really like your works!

Hi anon! Thanks for the message :)

Despite the hellishly long gap between updates, Fortress is not abandoned, and I do intend to finish it. It's actually pretty high up on my to-do list right now, and will be the next major thing I post once As A Friend is done.

Here's the order in which I plan to post DeanCas fics/updates over the next few months -- with some vague spoiler-adjacent-but-not-really-spoilery details for anyone who wants them:

Chapters 5 & 6 - As A Friend Roughly 35k words in total, split over these final two chapters. This will see Dean & Cas return to the bunker, announce their "fake" relationship to Sam & Jack, and then [redacted because I'm not giving the whole thing away even though you already know it's gonna be a happy ending].

Chapters 8, 9, & 10 - Fortress Roughly 22k words split between these three chapters. Chapter 9 (the during chapter in which Dean is suffering) & chapter 10 (the after chapter which follows the first days of Dean living with Cas after coming home) have been ready for a while, but chapter 8 (the before chapter, which features Robin's party when they were 16 👀 a party which you might recall was mentioned by Cas during the previous before chapter) has been holding them hostage. So as soon as 8 is ready I intend to post all three at once.

Oneshot - Hearts Beating Life (Into Each Other) Roughly 25k words of canonverse fuck-or-die fic. In which Cas gets cursed on a hunt, and you'll never guess what Dean has to do to save him..... lol. It'll probably get split into two or three chapters for readability, but I plan to post it all at once. This is only one final scene away from being complete at this point, but I want to finish As A Friend & update Fortress before I share it.

Chapter 8 - Isosceles Roughly 17k words, because this fic refuses to let me be succinct. Dean & Cas discuss more almosts, the angels make contact, we find out exactly what Sam said to Dean in chapter 4, Claire [redacted] when [redacted], Mary and Dean bond over [redacted], and the search for Kelly Kline picks up steam.

Chapters 3 & 4 - Empty Heroics Roughly 20k words split between these final two chapters. In which there is bed sharing, a plan is formulated, and Nobody Dies. I realize that barely anyone even read the first two chapters of this fic, but I still really like it and want to finish it off, so it's the fifth thing on my to-do list.

Oneshot - As-Yet-Untitled Shrinking Curse Fic Roughly 10k words of canonverse established relationship PWP. In which they've been together for literally three days when Dean gets hit with a shrinking curse that won't wear off for a year, and comes up with a creative solution to ensure that they can still enjoy the physical aspects of their new relationship despite being small enough to perch on Cas' shoulder.

Chapter 1 - One More Chain Does The Maker Make Roughly 10k words, and the first of five chapters. The whole fic should come in around 50-60k words, and it's canon-divergent from 15.06. Featuring a lot of pining, and Dean working on Jesse and Cesar's ranch. I posted about it here if you want to know more!

The final 5 chapters of Fortress & final 3 chapters of Isosceles will come next -- likely to be about another 30k and 45k respectively, based on current word counts and what remains to be written.

At some point in between all of this I also plan to post some updates to The Coda Project (I've written at least half of each coda up to 1.12 Faith at this point, I just need to buckle down and finish them off in order so I can start posting them again), along with a handful of short tumblr prompt meme ficlets I've written recently -- specifically, those based on the following six trios of emojis: [🧪🧛🏻‍♀️💦], [🔮🛁🫂], [🤠🎶🌬️], [🪼👀🎨], [🥬🍅✨], and [🥶😶‍🌫️🤯], all of which ended up being significantly longer than they should have been, hence the delay in posting them.

...aaaand I realize that this is far more information than you asked for so I apologize. But thanks again for your message, and for reading. I hope you enjoy all the updates when they're posted 💚

[mehoymalloy]

Fic author self-rec!

When you get this, share your favorite five fics that you've written, then tag at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Thanks for the tag, @foibles-fables! (Also sorry to everyone who tagged me in fun stuff over the last few days, I saw too many at once and therefore decided to do none of them xD; but if you were curious about a particular question, please feel free to shoot me an ask anytime!)

Here's a list of five of my most favorite fics:

1. Prometheus Bound (Horizon; Aloy/Tilda)

My first long fic that kind of just kept growing. It was originally supposed to be three chapters, but then I fell in love with writing Tilda’s interactions with the GAIA Gang, which lead to Alva, Erend, Kotallo, and Zo all getting their own chapters. Then, to top it off, the final chapter had to be split in two!

2. Let Me Lay Waste to Thee (Critical Role; Imogen/Otohan)

My first (well really thee first) Imogen/Otohan fic. After thinking ‘is no one else seeing the hint of enemies to lovers potential here?’ for a couple months, I had my first "fine I’ll do it myself" moment. And boy am I glad I did, because now I would die for these two. I had to get creative with the Reilora as a concept and create a inexplicable psychic connection to facilitate the development of the ship over like 20k words, but imho, it fucking works, so, I’m really proud of this one!

3. The Stark Reminder (Critical Role; Imogen/Otohan)

This is the second smut piece I’ve written for the ship, but I think it’s my favorite so far. I got to dig into the softer bits of themselves they carefully keep hidden, and that was very fun to explore for two characters who hold a lot of animosity towards each other while simultaneously being drawn to each other through funky telepathic fuckery.

4. Aches and Pains of Various Sorts (Critical Role; Liliana/Otohan, and Imogen)

If you’ll allow me to pull a complete 180 now, MOON MOMS (ahem, i’m fine, i’m cool). This is the first of a huge series I’ve got planned, and from the first fic, I’ve fallen hard for this entire idea. Otohan and Liliana connecting over this mysterious power they share, and eventually reuniting and deciding to enter a dedicated partnership where they raise Imogen together is just, ugh my heart. First of all, it’s an outlet for all my Otohan headcanons pre-Apex War, which I’m very excited to dive into in the future. And on a more mushy note, I’m giving Imogen the loving parents and happy childhood she deserved.

5. When the Darkness Comes (Horizon; Silga & Untalla)

My 2022 Horizon Big Bang fic! Silga and Untalla are two NPCs in Forbidden West that never meet, but taking them and weaving a little (’little’ being a lie, it’s 35k) roadtrip adventure of them hunting down all the black box collectibles in game was super fun. As a bonus, writing the black box shorts---those final moments and small conversations of doomed soldiers---was a fun challenge that I’m really proud of!

Now for no-pressure tags! @wvearp, @bluntblade, @the-everqueen, @souls-that-have-senses, and @xxcookiecrumbsxx :)

[virmillion]

hi i like numbers so im gonna talk about em in my tags

[melatovnik]

hi, can u rec other sbwy fics?

yes i most certainly can!

below under the cut is a selection of very good sbwy (and sgwy) fics, i.e., wangxian fics where wwx experiences compulsory heterosexuality. by no means is it a comprehensive list of all the excellent fics of this genre, because i'm a super slow reader and simply haven't gotten to them all yet, but these are just the ones i've read and enjoyed so far. of course, mind all tags/content warnings etc you know what's up

~ the Straight Boy Wei Ying universe series by raitala | rated E | 36K words total | i know this ask was prompted by my earlier rec of this series but i'll include it here anyway. a very charming wonderful story, with extremely massively hot sex scenes

Sit down next to me | 7K words

Lan Zhan has been in love with his tragically straight best friend Wei Ying forever. So what if some girl says Wei Ying is a bad kisser? Lan Zhan has to prove to Wei Ying that this is incorrect. Because Lan Zhan is a good friend. He out does himself.

If I hadn't seen such riches | 29K words

Sequel to "Sit down next to me" - if you haven't read this all you need to know is that Wei Ying thinks he is straight. He just really likes his best friend Lan Zhan. Who is incidentally a really great kisser. Who also made him come in his pants one time. Who also has a *really* big dick, which Wei Ying sucked one time, but, like, in an experimental way, not in a gay way. They are just really good friends, right? Lan Zhan is the best. Lan Zhan is crying inside.

~ Keep Up by mimilamp | rated E | 27K words | i actually just read this one today and wwhfoohgkhdghihHHHHHHhghhhhhhgh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 INSTANT FAVE. MUST READ.

“She was going to kiss me,” Wei Ying says, muffled, into his hands.

Lan Zhan makes sure he keeps his breaths even. “Hm,” he says. Wei Ying looks up at him, wild: a little tipsy, perhaps. Confused, in a panic. His mouth is red like he’s been kissed—he hasn’t. He’s a lip biter, has a habit of picking at his dry lips, the winter sores at the corner of his mouth. It drives Lan Zhan to madness. He dreams of Wei Ying’s puffy mouth, often, sometimes with the real Wei Ying in a sleeping bag on the floor next to his bed. On mornings like those he wakes up in a cloud of embarrassment—hobbling to the bathroom at dawn, running a loud shower to hide the sounds. Wei Ying sleeps on.

“How do I—” Wei Ying starts, stops. He then lets out a single laugh, another. He says: “Oh my god. How do I kiss? Lan Zhan, how do I kiss?”

*

Or: Wei Ying has a girlfriend now. Wei Ying doesn't want his best friend to lag behind.

~ A Brilliant Idea by FrameofMind | rated E | 25K words | good for you wei ying

The one where Wei Ying (straight) and Lan Zhan (gay) make a shared tinder account to save money, because Wei Ying has brilliant ideas.

(Wei Ying has terrible ideas.)

~ worth it for the feeling by occultings | rated E | 8K words | they're both girls in this one! "straight" girl wei ying 🥰

“I’ve never gotten off with another person,” Wei Ying says that night, apropos of nothing.

~ ready to run by detectorist | rated E | 21K words | really really enjoyed the plot and atmosphere and everything in this story

“You should make a Tinder account for campaigning,” Nie Huaisang says.

Wei Ying chokes out, “What?”

“Sounds like an absolutely terrible idea,” Jiang Cheng says flatly.

“No, it’s a great idea!” Nie Huaisang insists. “You just swipe right on everyone and then send them a message about how they should vote for you. You’re hot, Wei Ying! People will definitely match with you and then you can swoop in and hit them with the politics!”

“I don’t even have Tinder,” Wei Ying protests. He’d downloaded the app in first year but had quickly deleted it after a girl responded to his message of wanna get a drink with yeah sure, what time?

“That can be easily fixed,” Nie Huaisang says.

—

Wei Ying downloads Tinder to help him campaign for his student union election. He gets a little more than he bargained for.

~ drop the game by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 28K words | cheerleader wwx + jock lwj + fake dating + practice kissing + insane sexual tension = me, flattened like a cartoon character after getting run over by a truck

Wei Ying grabs a pen from Lan Zhan’s desk, curling his legs into a lotus pose under the arms of the chair so he can easily spread the journal out across his lap. Even upside down, Lan Zhan can read his large, messy characters scrawled across the top: Lan Zhan + Wei Ying’s Rules for Dating.

Perhaps this was a bad idea.

~ big hands (i know you're the one) by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 8K words | WHOOF 🥵

“Not a big talker, hm?” Wei Ying tilts his head to one side. “That’s okay, I’ve been told I’m a good enough conversationalist for three. My tongue is multi-talented and—”

He has just enough time to feel her palm on the back of his neck and think, oh, her hands are so big, before his words are being stolen into her mouth.

~ Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers | rated E | 60K words | LAN ZHAN???? BETHROTHED???? NOT TO WEI YING??????? it's less likely than you think! canonverse casefic, featuring tons of pining and wwx taking outrageous liberties with lwj's person, as is his right

Lan Zhan stands there in his immaculate, cloud-patterned Lan robes, watching him calmly, one fist tucked up against his back. “I am betrothed.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Are you…” He tries to laugh. Again, it sounds inhuman. “Is this about last night? Are you mad at me? I only remember some of it, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sure whatever I did I was just—” He gestures uselessly. He remembers being warm in Lan Zhan’s lap. He remembers fitting snugly in Lan Zhan’s lap. Wrapping his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck. Nosing at his jaw. “…playing around.”

“This has nothing to do with you, Wei Wuxian.”

~ cherry ass wei ying (Chapter 3 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated E

wei ying is so straight he sucks lan zhan's fingers about it.

~ all(e)y (Chapter 11 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated E

prompt fill on twitter for straight boy wei ying + fake dating that ended up being too long for twitter so now it lives here in stupid silly shame. sorry the fake dating is a complete flyover state in this. to make up for it, i wrote out an entire blowjob for some reason.

~ lan zhan has fallen in fuck-love with the straight toad boy (Chapter 14 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated M | there is no chapter summary provided by the author. the title says it all, really

~ wei wuxian loves mysteries! (Chapter 15 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated G | a canonverse character exploration of wwx, set pre-CR (before wangxian first meet). soooo good

~ the mall that has it all by saltyfeathers | rated E | 8K words | 😳 wrow

She introduced herself in the food court, breathless after sprinting across it in Lan Zhan’s direction and vaulting over a table only to crash into the seat across from her, ask, “Can I have a sip?”, spring forward with both elbows on the table to wrap her burgundy lips around Lan Zhan’s smoothie straw, wrinkle her nose, and say, “What is that, kale? Not really my thing, as like, a mall goth. Oh!” A pleased, chaotic exhale. “My name’s Wei Ying.”

Lan Zhan said, after taking a moment to fully process the last forty-five seconds, “What?”

or;

mall goth au

~ I Wish You Would by brooklinegirl | rated E | 52K words | lan zhan fucks guys, wei ying pines, and lan zhan also pines

Lan Zhan takes a breath. His hands are in fists on his thighs. He stares down at them hopelessly, then carefully unclenches them, one finger at a time, before taking another breath and reaching for his lukewarm tea. He'll go out, tomorrow. Maybe in the late afternoon. Something quick. Something easy. He'll text his brother first, the short note of when he should be home, so he'll know to track him. He'll be fine, just like he said.

~ all that and more by Euphorion | rated E | 20K words | hot hot hot! and a classic

Wei Wuxian locks his phone and puts it down, blinks at his ceiling, and picks it up again. The pictures are still there.

His first thought is that Lan Zhan meant them for someone else. That he just woke up at—he checks the timestamp—6:30 am on a Sunday and decided to go absolute full nuclear seduction option on some poor boy he met on Grindr, who would now be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him because Wei Wuxian had a bad habit of distracting—of—oh.

Pieces of last night start to resurface and paste themselves together in his head. He winces.

~ dreaming and getting a glimmer by verseau | rated E | 27K words | THE comphet gloryhole fic

Wei Ying discovers himself.

~ wanna feel a different kinda tension by verseau | rated E | 10K words | THE comphet watching-porn-together-and-also-wwx-jerks-lwj-off-with-his-own-freshly-used-fleshlight fic

Four times Lan Zhan walks in on his roommate masturbating.

that's all for now! happy october!

[alexseanchai]

Fanfic 2020 in Review

I got tagged by @kasienda @noirshitsuji and @marvelousmsmol and I am tagging whoever wants to play!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

*filters own works to complete and updated in 2020*

1 - 20 of 57 Works by AlexSeanchai

nope. *adds filter to include only works of at least 1000 words*

unless otherwise indicated, these are all Miraculous Ladybug:

“don’t bake it lying down”, post-reveal Marichat vs Felix Graham de Vanily

“veracity”, canon divergence from “Ladybug” featuring Mister Bug and Verity Queen (so also Marichat, I guess)

“(no request is too extreme, if) your heart is in your dream”, in which Hawkmoth wins, for the thirty seconds or so before Emilie saves Ladybug and Chat Noir’s lives

“tell me you love me and make me believe it”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire ropes Ladybug into helping plan her civilian self’s escape slash social transition

“kingmaker, oathbreaker”, in which Hawkmoth wins and Emilie watches her son remove himself from the family

“stay and let me watch you break it down” (Twelve Dancing Princesses), a modern setting

“set a course for winds of fortune”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire has already escaped and Gabriel and Nathalie are trying to bring Gabriel’s son home

“we ground love in a hopeless place”, in which post-reveal Marinette’s attempt to remain resolutely not in love with her partner dissolves like sugar in coffee when they start a pun war

“ring the bells that still can ring”, in which Alya is deeply confused about why Adrien and Marinette are planning a wedding when last night both were single

“burning wishes at both ends (the cold wind and long loud wail remix)”, in which Gabriel made a monkey’s paw wish and Emilie makes another

“words cannot espresso”, in which Marinette’s OC roommate is justifiably worried for Marinette’s safety, and meanwhile Adrien takes care of Marinette

“the compromise of truth” (the chronologically second-earliest part posted to date of nine lives, snake’s eyes), in which Adrien tells his friends how he won some freedom and respect from his father

“At The Present Time”, the Ladrien/Ladynoir marriage proposal follow-up to @art-deco-shrimp‘s  “Your Presents Required”

“j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”, in which the events of canon must just have been a series of dream sequences, Marinette and Adrien both think, until they both arrive at Chloe’s Halloween masquerade dressed as themselves from the dreams

2) Number of words written:

ahahaha no. I am not counting all my scattered fic drafts and trying to figure out what I did and didn’t write in 2020. I refuse.

AO3 says I posted 162K in 2020. it is counting all of keeps you guessing (like any real love), which (a) I started posting in 2019 (b) is co-written by @galahadwilder​; it is counting all of my meta snippets collection, much of which was written in 2019; it is counting the Vimeo passwords for my vids. but I probably cleared 150K by a safe margin.

3) Your most popular fic:

“veracity” has a four-digit kudos count, wow, when’d that happen? this is also the 2020 work with the most hits and the most bookmarks, but “tell me you love me” has four-thirds as many comments as its nearest competitor.

4) Your personal fav:

“cannot break us, not with a thousand swords”, no question about it. this is the one in which Ladybug proposes marriage to Chat Noir via Princess Bride meme on Tumblr. (if you intend to download the work or otherwise to consume it with creator style off, you want the accessible version instead of the primary version.)

5) Your fav scene:

aaaaaaaaa

—okay so this is cheating and I know it, since Uncertain Humors (the one where Marinette/Adrien is both Orpheus/Eurydice and Theseus/Ariadne) is nowhere near finished, never mind posted (maybe I'll get “Sanguine” done to post on my birthday?)

but it is still my favorite of the year. as you might guess from that description of the story, this scene has content notes for character death:

Hell is a maze. Marinette walks.

This acrid passage has little to see but damp stone, seeming blood-stained in the dim carmine light. At about the height of her heart, the faintly glowing thread cuts through the not-clammy air; it ought to be pulsing at the same rate as the heart it's bound to. She might be able to see her own reflection if she looked down at the open sewage pipe, or at one of the puddles that now and again she splashes through, dampening the canvas of her shoes. She might see reflected what's behind her.

She remembers Mme. Mendeleiev lecturing on human physiology. In healthy humans old enough to have learned how, urination is a voluntary action: one may not know which muscles one tenses and relaxes in order to do so, and probably isn't paying attention to those details when one is doing, but one has conscious control over whether one does. Usually. Stress and anxiety mean some people are unable to relax the relevant sphincter muscle and others are unable to stop themselves. It's voluntary for cats, too: it's one way they mark their territories. Cat-boys have other ways.

There is a moment in every human life when all one's muscles relax at once. Some Parisians have had several such moments.

The thread is braided with itself around her left fourth finger, rows of tiny red half-hitch knots, and falls loosely over the back of her hand to loop twice around her wrist. She holds it wrapped between the fingers of her right hand to keep it at a constant tension, as though knitting with this insubstantial thread, so fragile for something two (two dozen, two million) lives hang from—too thin to sew with, no thicker than one strand of his hair. As she walks, she winds it around and around and around her wrist.

Between her ring finger and her right hand, it loops twice.

Marinette's shoe lands in a puddle she didn't see. The rainwater splashes soundlessly onto her bare ankle and on the stone.

(With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal— It's a very loud song.)

She walks on.

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

where the firelight fades, no contest. this is the second story I’ve ever been able to stick with more than a couple hundred words past the 20K mark, but it’s easily the twentieth novel-length I’ve begun. (though also, you know that kedreeva post? well, 90K later, I’m less than 15K from completing this 10K fic! I think.) and I have been learning so much about long-form fiction.

there has also been a lot of weeping and tearing my hair. case in point: I just trashed the chapter 15 draft because I figured out the reason it wasn’t going anywhere! I can probably keep the first few hundred words of that draft without any editing, and another few hundred with some revision...

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

from “j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”:

Everything about their partnership is fragments of sentences in the dream diary Adrien writes in ultraviolet pen. Disjointed flickers of thought even when examined under the black light he hides in the snack cabinet under packets of Super Yoyo sandwich cookies and bags of cheesy Monster Munch potato chips and boxes of petit écolier butter cookies (chocolat noir)—none of which explains the gym-socks smell. All fleeting incoherent flashes, invisible between the mundane lines of La Modification shelved at his bedside between Leroux and Dumas. None of it is solid. Adrien has more proof his room's haunted.

okay let me break this down for you!

* Adrien started a dream diary to make sense of the memories

* in invisible ink, in a book that (according to Wikipedia) is thematically appropriate and won’t (if Gabriel sees it) look like anything other than Adrien developing an interest in French literature

* shelved between Phantom of the Opera and The Three Musketeers

* look I didn’t come up with the name “black light”

* or “chocolat noir” for what English speakers call “dark chocolate”, or “petit écolier” (that is, “little schoolboy”) for that sort of butter cookie

* also not my fault that “chocolat noir” sounds remarkably like “Chat Noir”, which, attentive readers may have noticed, is not a name that appears in the story after the header and before Miraculous Cure

* I found the website of a store in Boston, Massachusetts that caters to French expats, and the yo-yo cookies and the monster chips were right there in the photos, y’all

* the snack stash and the black light live in the cabinet where, in canon, the Camembert lives; yes, that cheese smells in the real world like gym socks

* this story’s akuma was not able to affect anything but squishy human memory: nobody affected remembers anything about Ladybug or Chat Noir or Hawkmoth, not in any solid way, not even when they read news articles about the subject, and this includes Marinette and Adrien not being able to see or hear or remember their own kwamis—but you know what Adrien’s Insta post about his poltergeist and Adrien’s Insta post with the floating sock don’t show and don’t explicitly refer to?

* I love this paragraph so much (my housemates may have been lovingly mocking me over it)

8) A comment that touched you:

there are people (y’all know who you are) who said y’all are studying my style. I ded of blush.

9) Something that inspired your writing:

by volume of fic drafts that can be blamed on any particular person, the winner is probably @norakwami���

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

so that longest-story-ever-written record I set in 2007 with the 89.5K story that, till where the firelight fades, was the only story I’d gotten much past 20K?

I broke that fucking record!

and then I deleted the draft of firelight chapter 15 😭

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I’m starting work on a fantasy novel, a Sleeping Beauty retelling in which I explore (among other things) the economic consequences of the king’s ordering all the spinning wheels burned, and I want to make significant progress on that. and I want to not make my hands any worse; I kind of need those!

(breaking news alert: bodies fucking suck. so does giving yourself repetitive stress injuries in doing one and a half to two people’s worth of work for an organization that was never ever going to pay you more than one person’s worth of pay.)

[rabbiteclair]

i could swear I made a post about this a few months back but hell if I can find it now, so anyway: the current fic, which is about three generations descended from this one at this point, is coming along pretty well actually. however, ‘coming along pretty well’ means that it’s currently about halfway through chapter 14 out of, i dunno, 22 or so? my current estimate puts the final length at about 10-20k words longer than Eyes in the Dark, and unlike there, none of it is profiles and such that i can bang out pretty quickly. (and I might still do that kinda thing anyway, on top of everything else.)

in an ideal world where I have the time and energy to write almost every single day and never have to pause for half a week to figure out some plot points, it’d still be mid-November before the rough draft’s done, and editing on something this big is a weeks/months-long process by itself. accounting for that and stuff like me being a human who sometimes gets off work and doesn’t feel like writing for two and a half hours in the evening, say, like... mid/late January before I have a finished product? boy I sure hope no more Events happen and fuck up my life for four months at a time, or I’m gonna die of old age before I’m ready to post this thing.

this was probably not a pressing concern for literally anybody but me, but after those years where I posted like 1.5 things per month on average, I feel self-conscious whenever I go too long without anything. so now you know. please wait warmly. unless you’re here for shitposts or something, in which case please disregard this message, or here hoping for more arknights fics, in which case oh god i’m so sorry next year hopefully

[luluwquidprocrow]

love was made for me and you (and you)

originally posted: february 15th, 2019

word count: 22,821 words

rated: teen

beatrice baudelaire/bertrand baudelaire/lemony snicket, beatrice baudelaire/lemony snicket, beatrice baudelaire/bertrand baudelaire

violet baudelaire, klaus baudelaire, beatrice baudelaire, lemony snicket, bertrand baudelaire, kit snicket, the duchess of winnipeg, dewey denouement, olivia caliban, beatrice snicket

alternate universe – modern setting, alternate universe – everybody lives/nobody dies, alternate universe – parent trap fusion, family, romantic comedy, humor, with occasional required sad undertones, screenplay/script format, less of a fic and more of an outline but one hell of an outline, with enthusiastic swearing by yours truly, referenced but very background kit/dewey and duchess/olivia

Summary:

[so beatrice is nicholas, lemony is elizabeth, violet is annie, klaus is hallie, bertrand is the absolute worst at being meredith because he is a Genuinely Nice Person so honestly he’s really not meredith at all, and those parallels are all a little loose anyway because i moved places and conversations and character roles and basically everything around, everyone is just a mess. where is vfd????? i sure don't know.]

Notes:

back in march 2018, the good the iconic the legendary the CLASSIC ace attorney parent trap au came back on my dash and I decided to rewatch the parent trap a few days later, and as I was watching it, I thought, ‘i wonder how that would work with asoue, and lemony and beatrice, and of course with them getting together with bertrand,’ because I will of course ship the three of them together in any fic I can, but I told myself ‘girl, you cannot write this fic. you have too many other fics to write, you canNOT write this fic.’

I then told myself, ‘well, yeah, okay, but that doesn’t mean I can’t outline it.’

and then the outline spun wildly out of control, to the point where i was never going to write it as a full actual fic because it wasn't going to work like that anymore, but also to the point where it had a life of its own and was in my opinion somehow still worth reading like an actual fic. this is over 20k of a lemonberry ice parent trap au half-fic/half-outline/half-weird-script/wonderful mess of conversations and headcanons, and I genuinely hope my weirdly detailed ramblings (and unapologetic swearing) bring people as much unbridled joy as they bring me. I wrote this with the intention to have fun, and I hope!! you have fun too!!!

I think you can get through this with a working knowledge of the parent trap movie (1998 version) but a thorough knowledge is also very good

title obviously corrupted from love by nat king cole

.

lemony and beatrice, young and definitely foolish and definitely in love but totally not thinking this through, marry (fairly soon after college) and beatrice has twins, violet and klaus (violet is two minutes older, their birthday in this splits the difference between (what I personally image to be) their canon birthdays, so that’s, what, january 8th or something???? first I had it as the 3rd but nick and liz marry in the movie on january 8th and I was like ‘well that’s not too big a change to make in the name of a good reference’).

not long after, their marriage dissolves (for, well, pretty much canon reasons???? I mean like with less accusations of arson and criminal activity. lemony has Radical Commitment Issues and beatrice is Impulsive and Angry and Not Taking Anyone’s Shit and honestly how they made it through marriage and having kids with all those problems completely in tact and never doing anything about them is anyone’s guess, love is Occasionally Not Cool), they divorce, and lemony takes violet and beatrice takes klaus.

they both leave The City which I have always imagined as new york even though i’ve never spent a second there in my life, but anyway, beatrice does go to california (she likes the weather, but she does not end up in sanfran (danhan’s hometown) – the part of me simultaneously obsessed with a different fandom is screaming santa barbara!!!! but no i’m going to stick with the movie and say although she’s not in a vineyard she is in napa), the idea of lemony just being in england as like, a concept, and especially with a broken heart, is hilarious to me

kit: do I have to confiscate your copy of keats?

kit: do I?

kit: do I, lemony??????

beatrice raises klaus with the help of the duchess of winnipeg (and ramona’s delightfully sentimental and frankly adorable wife, olivia caliban, I will sail this ship single-handedly I guess) (what is ramona doing in california????? OH MAN DO I FINALLY GET TO BUST OUT THIS LINE I TOOK OUT OF THE BAYBEA FIC

ramona: have you seen winnipeg lately???

ramona: there’s not much for me to duchess over.

actually it’s probably that ramona’s mother is still alive in this (otherwise what would be the POINT of everybody lives/nobody dies modern au???? fucking fight me) and she takes care of winnipeg and ramona was like ‘…...canada’s not doing it for me’ and her mother was like ‘canada doesn’t do it much for anyone, dear.’ and ramona skedaddled to california with olivia, which worked out because they have banging careers as artists out in california.) (ramona paints (she likes watercolors and pastels), olivia actually writes historical fiction lesbian romance novels (where everyone also lives!!! she writes an on point jazz age novel only everyone lives and it’s great) (why historical fiction??? olivia is a sucker for romance and loves big sweeping romance epics….and ramona) (are her books just. period piece self-inserts with her and ramona??? well why the FUCK not), they are both………..really too good for this world.) (anyway bea has zero (0) family with which to raise klaus so ramona and olivia offer to help her out. out of the goodness of their hearts and long-standing friendship, not because they have any experience raising a child. they do not. have any experience.)

and lemony raises violet with the help of his sister. kit and dewey get together earlier, and have their daughter earlier (violet’s….five or six when she’s born?), and name her (obvs not beatrice) bernadette (I have Specific Reasons for naming her bernadette, however that is in my giant list of bernadette headcanons, which is a whole other Thing). beatrice is an actress (klaus can’t act for shit, sorry), lemony is a writer (violet doesn’t have a poetic bone in her body, sorry). (but violet can act and klaus is pretty good at putting words together.)

ELEVEN YEARS AGO BY, or, well, eleven and a half, I guess, eleven and a half delightful years filled with the following –

-lemony and beatrice fervently denying they ever married each other and trying to forget the other even exists, what do you mean you have photographic evidence, we were definitely not married

-ramona’s mother briefly going to california to tell three grown women how to change a diaper

-klaus, age one and a half, crawling up the staircase in their house all by himself to get to the library, beatrice promptly dies out of sheer terror

(true event. I did that.)

-violet getting ahold of a wrench at the same age and fixing one of the loose bars in her crib

(not a true event. I did not do that.)

-dewey and jacques, trying to fix the curtains in violet’s room, immediately and silently agreeing to never tell lemony they were The Worst Uncles In Existence for five seconds for accidentally dropping the wrench in violet’s crib

-beatrice training herself not to do a double-take every time she sees klaus with a book because he looks fleetingly like lemony, just for that second

-lemony lulling violet to sleep with a variety of accordion songs, violet’s favorite is his rendition of what he says is ‘a song about spending a day on the beach’ but is actually why I cry by the magnetic fields (particularly danhan’s rendition of it with ben gibbard.)

-hey I never said they were successful at forgetting each other, especially when the kids were kids

-a truly harrowing number of children’s birthday parties

-kit snicket, who firmly kept her maiden name, going through what she called ‘The Chillest Pregnancy In Existence, Look At Me, I’m Completely Fucking Calm’ in the middle of labor

-klaus going through a period where he only read poetry, which caused bea and ramona and olivia to speak in rhyme for a week

-violet insisting she could fix the toaster and promptly not fixing the toaster because nothing was wrong with the toaster (it just wasn’t plugged in.)

-beatrice appearing in a number of plays, klaus being enchanted when she’s in les mis and reading the book but, in fact, only finding the outrageously long sewer chapter interesting

-violet trying to write a poem for lemony for father’s day and rhyming ‘orange’ with ‘mortgage’

that summer, they both wind up sending violet and klaus to the same summer camp excursion, because what sort of comedy would this be without the wildest coincidence ever, honestly

kit drops violet off at the camp a la martin – will lemony get on a plane?? that is a resounding No (also he would have just cried the whole time. the whole time. the. whole. time.)

however lemony is the one who does the ‘fruits, vegetables’ thing, only before violet leaves, and he gives her a million hugs and honestly doesn’t want her to go to camp oh my god, it’s only because violet tells him he’s sort of squishing her that he stops hugging her, lemony is???? like the most concerned parent of all time

kit, meanwhile….

kit: I was going to give you a new dart set but I was informed that they would not let you through customs.

violet: uncle dewey told you, didn’t he.

kit: I married a real killjoy, violet.

I honestly cannot think of a scene for klaus to parallel hallie meeting glasses and tie dye girl while getting her duffel bag. I thought of putting the quagmires in this but I think that’s…...pushing the identical envelope a little here (would’ve been worth it though for the brief note I used to have here that was just isadora shouting ‘HOW DID THEY TAKE SO LONG TO REALIZE THEY WERE RELATED THEY LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE’)

i’m sure they hang out with like-minded people before running into each other, it’s a good camp and they literally never talk to those other characters again anyway, which is, a real shame

we can all at least rest assured that klaus gets to camp in once piece regardless and doesn’t have a conversation about darts and airport customs, anyway beatrice, ramona, and olivia each smuggle a deck of cards into his suitcase as a surprise and he has three card decks and impresses all the other kids in his cabin with a giant architecturally sound house of cards made to resemble thoreau’s cabin at walden pond

hey annie and hallie are both allergic to strawberries and KLAUS AND VIOLET ARE ALLERGIC TO PEPPERMINTS

before they meet there’s probably a moment like with marva sr and the strawberries (I just had a horrifying thought that JEROME is the camp counselor (esme is nowhere in this. olaf is nowhere in this.) and that’s…………..awful, but, as I was writing the following scene, you know who I wrote him more like?????? arthur fucking poe, what did I just fucking do, honestly poe is a WORSE choice but…...well

mr. poe: we have peppermint brownies today!

[I just saw someone on the food network make peppermint cheesecake brownies and I want them so bad]

klaus: oh, i’m allergic

mr. poe: oh, well, please live

mr. poe: I cannot perform cpr

klaus: …………………………………………………………….shouldn’t you maybe –

mr. poe: for your own personal safety and especially my own i’m going to have to ask you to step away from the brownies

[violet shows up on mr poe’s other side]

violet: oh! peppermint, i’m allergic

mr. poe: another – didn’t I just see you? how did your hair get longer that fast? that’s not an allergic reaction, is it?

violet: ……………………………………………………………...i don’t think that’s –

mr. poe: i’m going to eat this entire brownie pan to save lives, but also because I want these brownies

he came out more like show!poe instead of book!poe but, I do not care, no one cares about mr. poe.

SO, violet and klaus eventually do meet and have practically zero immediate animosity, also through fencing!!! lemony and bea are both canonically badass fencers but I stand by what I said in fight me, that lemony is the better fencer, and violet wins. klaus concedes his loss to a talented fencer. they take off their masks and are like WHOA WE LOOK REASONABLY SIMILAR

violet: I don’t know, I think your eyes might be little farther apart than mine.

klaus: oh, don’t worry, i’ll probably grow into them. it can take some time before people really grow into their faces.

however this does get them talking and they find out they have so much in common! they’re like, ‘you like books and only have one super weird parent??? what a coincidence!’

then they find out they both play cards. (this stays, cause poker games are gold and I am reasonably sure watching the parent trap so much as a kid was what instilled this love of ‘hilarious poker games’ in me because I used to jam them into my fanfics all the time.) (also explains why I only know two poker hands….)

they hold an (amicable!) poker game that night with all the campers, and they do like a round robin tournament sort of thing and swap tips all night until it’s just the two of them facing each other, and klaus wins. (lemony is Pretty Good at cards and definitely taught violet BUT you’re damn right bea taught her kid how to count cards. not that klaus wins through cheating, he also has a natural talent and bea’s impeccable poker face. klaus also hangs out with ramona, who has repeatedly kicked lemony’s ass at cards as well.)

since they still have to wind up in the isolation cabin (because how else are they going to secretly plan swapping identities with NO GODDAMN COUNSELOR noticing???), CARMELITA is at camp and busts them for the poker game. she got eliminated pretty early in the game and camped out outside the cabin the rest of the kids were in waiting until someone won and then got mr. poe.

mr poe: gambling is not for children! unless of course you have a verified accountant or, perhaps, an established banker who wanted to embark on a personal journey and decided to run a camp for small children but has always wanted to go back and manage money again because, you know, even after the two scandals, I was good at – but we don’t have time for this, violet, klaus, it’s very irresponsible to try and get adults going on a tangent to avoid your responsibilities.

violet and klaus: but we didn’t –

mr poe: i’m afraid that I have no other choice but to send you to the isolation cabin.

carmelita: cakesniffers in the isolation cabin!!! CAKESNIFFERS IN THE ISOLATION CABIN!!!!

oh……..that was painful.

AT LEAST THE CABIN IS LIKE A NICE GOOD CABIN AND NOT the orphan shack, also like how far into the woods is the isolation cabin???? do the marvas really just leave kids out there?????? come on, marvas…..

and so our heroes get stuck in a windy lil cabin out in the woods.

what do they do when they hang out there, since they have Zero Animosity???? talk about books. read books. klaus does sketches of various local leaves. violet rewires the lamps so they don’t flicker and rigs up the windows so they don’t bang open in the middle of the night. the only thing they argue about is how to make toast, which isn’t even IN the cabin (unless violet makes something into a toaster), whatever

does klaus have a stuffed animal like cuppy???? damn straight he does. because why the hell not. (some boys play with dolls? SOME BOYS HAVE STUFFED ANIMALS)

i’m being really basic here but it’s a teddy bear BUT bea made lil wire glasses for it because klaus got glasses when he was real little so she thought he’d feel better if his favorite stuffed animal also had glasses (bea wears glasses but she HATES wearing them although I think after klaus gets glasses she tries to wear them more because bea is supportive as hell) (she needs new glasses though like they’re still these big thick black frames from her goth phase and she hates them but she hates the idea of an eye doctor appointment more) (bold of me to assume bea has ever honestly stopped having a goth phase, though…)

oh gosh what is the bear’s name

what’s something like super nerdy but cute for a small book-loving child to have named a bear

oh no, he names it kenneth. bea reads baby klaus the wind in the willows and he names his bear kenneth and this is so cute. I can’t fucking handle this, oh my god

honestly I am one of those people who thinks oreos w/ peanut butter would be pretty disgusting. (I mean, without the cream in the middle, sure, that probably tastes good, but like, with the cream and the peanut butter???? no) their snack of choice is………….hey isn’t there a snack in penultimate peril at the picnic it’s mentioned they like

or is just because I have that particular book within three feet of me, i’m gonna check

okay, it does mention that klaus likes custard eclairs, violet makes a smoked fish sandwich and wants to try the chocolate spread. maybe they just like oreos, sans peanut butter. I like oreos. (also, you can’t stash eclairs in a suitcase.

olivia, staring at a series of freshly-baked custard eclairs and a collection of tupperware containers: ….do you think I made too much??

ramona: olivia, he’s – he’s just going to summer camp.)

ANYWAY, how do they realize they’re siblings???? like???? how do

do they have half pictures in this??????? I think that’s honestly going to be the easiest way

like, of course lemony and beatrice would have a wedding picture, and they are both absolutely extra and dramatic enough to have each other’s half

it probably is still a ‘sitting at a table, staring lovingly at each other’ sort of thing, lemony in a white suit and beatrice in a suitably extravagant but actually still somehow very low-key for her wedding dress (there’s a lot of tulle though, like………..layers of tulle………………………..), their color scheme flower-wise was red and white roses because like, what fucking else would they pick at that time (they are only JUST convinced by like, jacques, probably, to do red/white instead of red/black, beatrice personally wanted purple/black)

kit gave violet the picture of beatrice, because while she hasn’t spoken to beatrice since her brother’s divorce, she does think lemony and bea could stand to talk to each other

(although I headcanon kit as the kind of person to firmly forget about past romances and put them behind her THROUGH ANY MEANS NECESSARY this is not strict asoue canon, and she always liked beatrice, anyway. lemony and bea breaking up isn’t like kit and olaf breaking up, which, i’m not even gonna try and touch in this)

klaus found the picture of lemony when he was reading through anna karenina (beatrice forgot she put it in there when she let klaus read it) and figured immediately that it had to be his father, and he kept it (maybe he showed it to ramona, who was like, ‘yep, that was your father. goodness, I forgot how awful his hair looked back then.’)

they’re probably reading some book about geography (klaus is into geography at the time)

klaus: my mother says that for my birthday next year, she’ll take me on a trip to see the famous hinterlands sunset.

violet: my father’s shown me pictures, but he agrees that it’s a lot prettier in person, but he’s also not one for planes.

klaus: well, I don’t believe hinterlands are technically confined to one geographical area, i’m sure there’s more than just in california – here, i’m sure there must be more information in the index.

violet: when’s your birthday, klaus?

klaus: january 8th.

violet: !!!! that’s my birthday!

klaus: !!! that is an extraordinary coincidence.

I never said these kids were smart.

klaus: violet, what’s your father like?

violet: he’s kind of quiet, but he’s very kind. oh, I have a picture of him – well, sort of –

she pulls out from one of her own books a picture of lemony, from behind, sitting at his desk at his typewriter, absolutely no recognizable features present whatsoever

violet: he didn’t know aunt kit was taking the picture, otherwise he would’ve turned around.

violet: actually, even then he probably wouldn’t have? he insists he’s not very photogenic.

violet: what about your father?

klaus: i’ve never met him. he’s – my mother doesn’t talk about him much, but I got the impression that they divorced shortly after I was born.

violet: oh, gosh. i’m sorry, klaus.

violet: ….sometimes I think I get that impression too, about my parents.

klaus: i’m sorry too, violet.

and if this were a snicket novel, insert soft, gentle explanation about divorce and commiseration and finding kindred spirits in your friends and how sometimes love does not work out and the affects we don’t realize it has on the children who watch it happen or see the aftermath and are left with the gnawing wonder of what went wrong and how violet and klaus each wonder, a little, what the cause was, and it can be very lonely, at the end of the day, to know that even if you have one parent who loves you very much, there is someone out there who may not love you at all, and never got the chance to know you to love you, and an even deeper part of you that wonders – no matter how young you were – were you the cause of it?

violet: oh, but I – I have a picture of my mother, my aunt kit gave it to me – I have it in my suitcase

violet: /gets up to get the picture

klaus: I, I have a picture of my father, too, in fact I think it’s stuck in this book somewhere in the back, I didn’t want to forget it

and

as violet goes to sit back down with the picture of her mother, the half-picture of beatrice from her wedding day, klaus pulls out from the index the half-picture of lemony from his wedding day

and they are

STUNNED

to realize

this is, of course, the exact same picture.

there’s a lot of hugging and crying.

so they realize they’re siblings!!! and then decide try to figure out what the hell even happened with their parents, because now that they know they’re fucking related and still somehow wound up meeting each other they realize that there has to be some incredibly detailed story behind the reasoning for their parents splitting up and now they have not just proof but an actual opportunity to find out and maybe, just maybe, get their parents back together in the process!!! it worked once!!! it could work again, why not!!!!!

AND SO THEY DECIDE TO SWAP PLACES. (contrary to hallie having the idea, it occurs to them at the same time.)

meanwhile

for the past, say, YEAR, or so, bea has been seeing bertrand, a friend from her childhood (just narrowly managing to keep it from klaus BECAUSE it will involve A Conversation About Lemony and Commitment and Marriage and Things Not Working Out and Falling In Love With Someone Else and look bea is good at a lot of things but it’s a really heavy subject for her that even after eleven years she hasn’t quite figured out how to parse, so she’s really been putting off trying to explain all of that to klaus, in a case of her vastly underestimating her son [bea you see all the books he reads…….talk to your son]), and things are going well between them and they love each other a lot and!!! they decide to get married.

how do they meet up again??? bertrand winds up going to one of her plays completely on accident. he’s been on the other side of the country for years and years and he happens to go to napa and hears about this play happening and he’s like ‘well that sounds really neat!’ because bertrand had a short-lived theater career in high school and doesn’t act all that much anymore but appreciates a good play! who doesn’t appreciate a good play??

(bertrand played lieutenant frank cioffi in his senior year production of curtains to rave local newspaper reviews. bea, meanwhile, gave a stunning performance as carmen bernstein [esme wanted to be carmen so fucking bad and she’s never forgotten that bea got the role instead, and that would not even factor into this au even if esme WAS in this au] [esme was, instead, jessica cranshaw (if it was a small school she maybe doubled as bambi), ramona was niki harris, olivia played johnny harmon, olaf was…...daryl grady……..which pains me to write cause the guy I had a crush on in high school played daryl, josephine and ike played georgia hendricks and aaron fox, jacquelyn and gustav were head of stage crew, lemony supported them all from the audience – unless lemony was sasha????!!!!!!!! okay lemony was totally sasha.]) (wow I got unnecessarily invested in their high school drama club.) (IS THEODORA THE DRAMA ADVISOR?????? oh my god. oh my god she’d be so bad at it but so good. i’m dying.

theodora: snicket you need to FLOURISH your baton with MUCH MORE GUSTO

lemony: I am going to flourish this baton right up your –

bertrand: HE’S DECIDED AGAINST IT THANK YOU MISS MARKSON)

(hey you ever write a parallel that’s so good you hate it????? olivia is johnny. olaf is daryl.)

(I usually headcanon bertrand as two years older than bea and lemony but for the purposes of this au they’re all the same age – however bertrand joined drama club first, and I picture lemony as more of a band kid than a drama kid, they probably just pull him in for curtains.

was lemony drum major???? I want to say ‘hell no’ but I also want to say ‘most cryptic drum major ever, lead the most bizarre championship performance in the school’s history, somehow still won’) (I wonder what song it was to???? that right there is where my secondhand band knowledge conks out.) (but if I HAD to supply ‘bizarre, cryptic song for championships’ I would probably pick like, david lynch’s dark night of the soul or something, idk.) (but like, listen to it and just imagine it with marching band instruments……….i kind of like it. i’m kind of digging it.)

ANYWAY BERTRAND LOVES SEEING PLAYS and he goes to see it and he has NO IDEA bea is even in it and he’s like SUPER THROWN to see her but also???? really excited! it’s been eleven years!!! he can talk to her!!!! he finds her after the play and bea immediately drops whatever she was holding and is just like???? absolutely breathless to see him again (it’s been ELEVEN YEARS, cats. oh god no it’s been more like FIFTEEN YEARS since bertrand has seen bea cause they haven’t spoken since high school oh no that hurts even MORE). a giantass hug is involved. bea spins bertrand around. they make plans to see each other later. then they start hanging out, and they like, reconcile from their weird high school fallout and have a really neat relationship)

(so

the high school fallout

lemony and bea and bertrand were all delightful friends since they were kids (well, lemony and bea were, bertrand moved to town and joined their class when they were freshman in high school). they all had stupid crushes on each other, uggg. there was. an incident. at the end of their school escapades that resulted in a falling out with bertrand (maybe they had an idea of how they all felt and just couldn’t or weren’t ready to figure it out and it sort of. drove a wedge between them. not on purpose, it was just the way it happened to work out, with teenage emotions and refusing to talk about things and uncertainty. lemony+bea and bertrand went their separate ways after graduation, lemony and bea married right out of college, bertrand does his own thing, life goes on.) (maybe there was like some prom drama about who was gonna take who and who asked who first or something (at my junior prom, I was ready to kill the guy I asked who turned me down for that very reason). I mean that’s legit???? prom drama is incredibly legit. why is there so much drama at prom??????)

(honestly after going back and writing the production of curtains and remembering the (specifically romance-related) drama I witnessed happening among the drama club at my high school (I wasn’t in drama but I had a startling number of friends who were) i’m surprised they had the drama at prom and not in the middle of drama club, but i’m still going to stand by ‘prom drama.’)

(and I feel like it was prom drama of the type that’s like, low-key there and A Thing people think about but no one talks about or addresses so the whole night is real awkward and you worry something is gonna break out at any second but nothing does but you’re still obsessively on your toes about it. like, that simultaneously high-strung just-there high school romance drama angst that’s just this ever-present layer coloring everything that people say and do, hyped up specifically because it’s PROM. they probably all danced with each other and the dances were all cut short because of Feelings and Awkwardness and no one knew what to do, the whole damn night.)

and like, bertrand, going off to college and a little heartbroken but unwilling to try and do anything about it, is upset, but bertrand is also bertrand ‘sweetest man alive’ baudelaire, and honestly he wants them to be happy (bertrand is……..very non-confrontational……….and it is honestly his downfall, he likes to have fun and be nice and kind, and to acknowledge scary things is to actually deal with them and that scares bertrand so much, he buries a lot of things – so do bea and lemony, and in fact all of vfd, but in very different ways. bertrand has achieved a sort of Chill™ that bea and lemony just do not have) so he just goes on with his life, he does date other people but nothing ends in marriage, he becomes a librarian in maine and is actually only in california originally for a few months to help manage some of the collections at local libraries. then he runs into bea and he doesn’t like INTEND for a romance to happen (and neither does bea, which I also firmly stand behind for their canon romance too), he still planned to leave at the end of the few months, but it happens and bertrand feels a lot more secure in himself and his feelings about people than he did in high school and they really do love each other, a lot

oh he went to college for library science!!!! obviously lemony majored in lit and bea majored in theater and music)

(OH NO WAS BERTRAND AT THE WEDDING?????? oh no bertrand was not at the wedding. I mean he’s certainly invited but bertrand ‘sweetest man alive’ baudelaire is also bertrand ‘vaguely heartbroken, does not want to interfere, can actually honestly only take so much’ baudelaire and he says that he’ll be unable to make it. sigh. I want to say he sends a sweet wedding gift or even just flowers but man that makes me so sad to think about lemony and bea getting that on/around their wedding day and THEM being sad and i’m too sad now, bertrand does not send a gift. (he’s torn up about not sending a gift for some time. years later, walking through an antique shop, he is struck with the ‘Years Later But Still Feels Like It Just Happened And Oh Shit Why Did I Do That’ brand of Lingering Awful Anxiety™ about all that.)

HE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE DIVORCE until he meets up with bea and she tells him.

bertrand: so how’s lemony????

beatrice: ahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahhahhahhahhahahaaaa!!!!!!

beatrice: ahahaha

beatrice: ahaha.

beatrice: …….oh you genuinely do not know oh shit i’m sorry

(I wanted so badly to put in my ‘bertrand and olivia were good cute friends and actually are penpals and like lemony and ramona’s ongoing card game they have an ongoing checkers game’ headcanon but it just. won’t. fit. in. here. cause why wouldn’t olivia have told him about the divorce???? I mean it’s bea’s thing to tell, NOT olivia’s, but to occasionally write to bertrand for YEARS and never mention she and ramona live with bea?????? I think that’s a little much.)

(does bertrand ever try and convince bea to reconcile with lemony???? I feel like at this point in his life he WOULD but bea would have very early on and very firmly vetoed that. and bertrand wouldn’t necessarily be happy about it but respects her wishes. not because he wants bea all to himself. but because bertrand is also quite frankly still. a little nervous re: navigating relationships. like he’s for sure A LOT BETTER at it now but like!!!! especially with lemony like bertrand is TERRIFIED of seeing lemony again. he really is. I think he thinks lemony blames him for stuff even though lemony does not. and I don’t want it to seem like bertrand’s……….just sort of swooping in and taking bea and not letting her talk to lemony????? cause it’s not that, it’s not that at all

they do really love each other

and just because bertrand’s grown as a person doesn’t mean he’s PERFECT

and bea certainly Does Not want to talk to lemony

it’s just, nick never mentions to meredith that hallie’s a twin and meredith HATES hallie and annie anyway, but bertrand does not hate kids and I just wonder, has bea told him about violet???????? like why wouldn’t she????????

so I mean yeah they probably have talked about it, and probably still came to the same conclusion, bea Does Not want to talk to lemony either, just, not right now, and yeah bertrand isn’t delighted about it but he’s like ‘alright, okay.’ because he still understands her reasoning and for all his talk he really doesn’t want to talk to lemony either

but it’s, I think it’s a thing, in the back of their minds, a worry that hits them sometimes, have they done something wrong, trying to forget)

(and this is why planning takes so much time because I always have so many stupid questions about characters)

(when bea and lemony were young and in college and extraordinarily drunk they would come up with new titles for bertrand, because they forgot they were trying not to talk about him

beatrice: bertrand ‘best hair this side of the mississippi’ baudelaire

lemony: bertrand ‘smooth hands’ baudelaire

beatrice: bertrand –

beatrice: wait do you mean like, his legit hands or like what he DOES with his hands

lemony, trying very hard not to think about Doing Things with Hands: ……..both

lemony: I definitely mean both

beatrice: good, I agree

beatrice: bertrand ‘i WILL dance the charleston and no one will stop me and I do not care’ baudelaire

lemony: bertrand ‘softest reading voice’ baudelaire

lemony: no no, wait, bertrand ‘BEST reading voice’ baudelaire, remember when he read ee cummings

beatrice: bertrand ‘i read lord of the flies and cried at the end’ baudelaire

lemony: oh bea are you complimenting him or being mean

beatrice: lemony I read lord of the flies and threw it out the fucking window when that kid killed piggy

beatrice: that was a compliment)

(ee cummings is because I have a scene in another fic where bertrand reads ‘maggie and milly and molly and may’ to beatrice and lemony and gosh…..i hope I get to use it at some point, it was a beautiful scene)

(they probably stop talking about bertrand like, sophomore year of college, idk, it just gets too hard and they become really miserable drunk nineteen-year-olds about it, and that’s not cool) (AT LEAST THEY HAVE THE WHEREWITHAL TO DO THAT)

ANYWAY, back to violet and klaus, who are still at camp and have decided to switch places!

ultimately, violet (like hallie) is supposed to find out how bea and lemony got together, and klaus (like annie) is supposed to find out why they broke up

violet cuts her hair (she’s a little bummed because she likes her hair but at least it won’t get in her way when inventing) and pierces klaus’s ears (klaus is so UP FOR THIS he’s very excited, also he keeps himself calm during it by telling violet the history of ear piercing) (these kids are either canonically very good at rationalizing or it’s just me radically projecting again…..or both), klaus practices wandering around without glasses (he bumps into EVERYTHING), violet practices how to fucking wear glasses and not die (she falls over EVERYTHING), of course violet already has an appreciation for books but she has to get the definition thing down (and growing up with lemony ‘a phrase which here means’ snicket left her with a pretty unorthodox idea of word meanings sometimes

klaus: so an optimist is someone who sees a positive side in any situation, like –

violet: say, if their arm was bit off by an alligator, a pessimist would say, “ahh! my arm!” and an optimist would say, “well, this isn’t too bad, no one will wonder if i’m right or left handed now.”

klaus: ……….what sort of person is our father

violet: he’s very specific about words.)

klaus has to figure out?????? how to invent on the fly????? (he’s seen beatrice macgyver a million things together but he’s still not sure how she does it) and the two of them teach each other about their lives, beatrice and lemony, ramona and olivia and kit and dewey and bernadette

violet: bernadette is really delightful, but you need to watch out for her

klaus: well, she is six years old –

violet: no, I mean, she can appear at a moment’s notice, and I don’t know who taught her how to pick locks, because I certainly didn’t and father can’t pick locks, but she can do it in under seven seconds.

(jacques taught her how to pick locks (he also taught violet). I don’t know where vfd fits into all this or if it even does in this fanfic but like, just try and tell me these guys don’t still act like absurd spies in any universe anyway.) (also I think lockpicking is, in general, a handy life skill, even if you aren’t living the absurd spy life.)

klaus: mother is, um

klaus: a little embarrassing

violet: how so?

klaus: she once scaled a ten foot wall because I forgot my lunch.

(ramona: hey so why did becoming a parent rob you of your top-notch secrecy skills?

[not necessarily, though, I mean, she does a great job scaling the ten-foot wall in complete secrecy. bea just, has a lot of love for her son, and is VERY OBVIOUS ABOUT IT, is the thing]

beatrice: ramona have you SEEN my son

beatrice: I will take a BULLET for him

beatrice: preferably in a non-critical area so we can hang out afterwards.

beatrice: but if I have to embarrass the shit out of him to make sure he eats, I WILL)

violet: father is the same way, a little. he keeps crying on the first day of school and I don’t have the heart to break it to him that I might be too old for that.

klaus: mother calls encouraging phrases from the car, which I think she does to prevent me from walking into school too fast.

violet: you know, they really sound like they were made for each other.

(lemony and bea, like, separately, are such legit disaster parents and I love them, they love their kids so damn much.)

the last day of camp comes, and it is time for them to officially swap places – violet goes to beatrice, klaus goes to lemony!

klaus recites book themes to himself the whole plane ride to england to keep himself calm because he’s trying not to think about how worried and excited he is!!! he’s going to meet his father for the first time!! truth be told, he knows pretty much nothing about lemony, even after talking to violet!!! IT’S A LOT FOR ANY KID TO TAKE IN, to suddenly think ‘yeah this was a good plan – oh fuck’

anyway, he meets kit at the airport, because kit is there to pick up violet. (kit and violet do not have a secret handshake. they have, of course, dart-throwing contests. of course that doesn’t make sense in an airport, but whatever. that’s their thing.)

why does kit pick klaus up at the airport instead of lemony??? I mean kit is in martin’s role but she’s NOT martin, you know, she’s lemony’s sister and definitely does not wait on him, but she does drop violet off at camp anyway, although in the movie that’s to prevent elizabeth (and nick) from showing up until the kids switch for Maximum Emotional Impact, but like lemony is obviously not THAT fucking busy he can’t pick up his own daughter

I had the thought that like kit is maybe his manager (on the side, otherwise she has….god some other job)??? does that work for a writer???? i’m a writer and I don’t even know. whatever. and kit maybe scheduled a reading that day by accident months in advance and couldn’t change it, or it runs long, so she has to get violet (klaus) from the airport

(moxie is still his editor, only she lives way out of town and they send angry emails to each other all the time about his work)

also ties in with hallie’s scene where she looks at elizabeth’s vanity and says she’s super cool about the wedding dresses cause I love that scene a LOT and I want klaus to think his stupid dad’s cool!!!

kit: violet, I am all for the beginning of your teenage rebellion with this new hairstyle but I should inform you that your father may just die.

klaus: you think he won’t like it??

[read: YOU THINK HE WON’T LIKE ME]

kit: he’ll probably come around to it. he’s still at his reading, do you want to surprise him?

klaus: !!!!!!

klaus: yes!

the reading is huge. I have no damn idea what lemony writes in this au, definitely not danhan’s stuff cause it’s not his vibe, but he still writes the picture books (although there are YEARS between them irl he wrote the composer is dead and the dark for bernadette before she became, in her words, Too Old For That Sort of Thing although she still secretly really likes them and reads the dark every night before she goes to bed. bernadette, in contrast to babybea, is fucking terrified of the dark but tries to like rationalize it out by thinking through the science of light or something, and then by just rereading the dark), oh he probably like, okay so he can’t just write asoue but he probably writes some other great children’s book series with the same sort of writing style and moral discussion, and the picture books

and violet told klaus he wrote stuff and bea like…..knows he does and refuses to talk about it but reads ramona’s copies in the middle of the night (and then has to stop doing that cause it bums her out too much), but klaus has no idea about it or how good it is and he’s so impressed, sitting at the back of this giant giant theater, and klaus loves books, he loves them with all his heart, and to sit there and see his father, for the first time in his whole life, doing something that klaus thinks is so incredibly cool

klaus: wow.

okay, so, the damn relief and happiness on lemony’s face when he sees kit and klaus

has he been imagining terrible airplane accidents for the past week? weeks? MONTHS??? yes he has.

he sees them once he gets offstage and immediately runs at this child (or, at least, definitely fastwalks.) and sweeps klaus up into this giant giant hug

klaus is!!! overwhelmed by the amount of sheer unadulterated love in this hug oh no i’m crying

putting aside that he’s pretending to be violet, this is the first time he gets a hug from his father and even if lemony thinks he’s violet klaus is still the one getting the hug and it’s just, a lot, man, it’s a lot, that scene in the movie where elizabeth hugs hallie is exactly the vibe right here god it’s so fucking sweet

lemony: oh, goodness – what happened to your hair?

klaus: I – I cut it. do you –

lemony is in the process of remembering that scissors and haircuts exist, he’s a little blindsided here

lemony: no, no – haircuts are things that happen, at one time or another, to all of us.

lemony: i’m just so happy that you’re back.

he just. hugs klaus again. god I can’t handle how much lemony loves his kids. klaus is really emotional and I’M really emotional I have to move on

on the ride home (kit is still driving)

lemony: so how was it at camp?

klaus: /frantically thinking of how he’s going to pull off something violet would say now that he’s HERE and has to act like her and decides to just be honest and hope it comes out okay

klaus: I had a lot of fun; the outdoors are incredibly pulchritudinous.

lemony: /thoroughly convinced that the outdoors has finally instilled violet with a greater poetic sense

I NEVER SAID THEIR PARENTS WERE SMART EITHER

do you know how wild the plot of this movie really is, when you get down to it, parents not recognizing their kids wtf have I done

violet can act pretty passably as klaus, but klaus, even employing beatrice’s acting techniques, just can’t act. but the one who finds him out is bernadette, like half an hour after he gets home.

[you can tell what scenes originally started this outline because they’re actually written like scenes, this was one of them]

[bernadette stares at klaus with wide, curious eyes over the top of her book. “you’re not violet,” she says.

the bottom of klaus’s stomach drops clear out. “what?”

“violet doesn’t squint when she’s confused,” bernadette says. “she frowns and puts her hair up. and it’s something she’s used to doing, so even if her hair was cut, she’d still reach for a ribbon, out of habit. you’re klaus. shouldn’t you have glasses? mother says aunt beatrice wore glasses.”

“how – how did you know about me?”

bernadette rolls her eyes. “i know everything,” she says loftily, for a six year old. “i can read, after all.”]

bernadette is the best kid. so I love babybea so much but babybea in canon is like…..still very on point but very quiet about it, because she’s grown up with really so little interaction with people????? she’s like a really subdued kid because she’s had to be so independent and do so many things herself. and she’s got her firm, almost unshakable optimism. so bernadette is still very quick and clever but a LOT more precocious about it and pretty boisterous for six years old and just. even more like kit than babybea is. her optimism is a little more…..sharp in this. I don’t think she understands embarrassment, as a thing that people experience, because she sure doesn’t. she’s just like, ‘well why don’t you just try again??????’ and it’s so great to see that inherent commitment to existence in a six year old

(an important sidenote from my bernadette headcanon list, though, is that she really does just read everything. she reads cereal boxes and magazines and reports and all the papers on lemony’s desk and really just absolutely anything she can get her hands on, and she’s easily bored so she goes looking for stuff sometimes and she’s good at putting things together, so that’s how she knows about klaus.)

[“i’m not gonna tell anybody,” she says. “i wanna see what happens. uncle lemony’s kind of lonely, you know? and aunt beatrice – when they talk about her – always sounded really nice.”]

bernadette makes it her MISSION to help klaus act more like violet and cover for him as much as she can

bernadette: you need to walk different

bernadette: and hold yourself a little taller

bernadette: here, keep this wrench in your pocket, violet likes wrenches

bernadette: and this ribbon!!! she didn’t give you any????

bernadette: oh, make sure you stare off into the distance while eating and think about machines or something

klaus: how do you notice all these things???

bernadette: ?????? doesn’t everybody?????? she’s your sister, you two didn’t follow each other around to try and pin down how you act????

klaus: …..do you do that, bernadette

bernadette: regularly. I can impersonate anyone’s footsteps. except my mother’s, because I think she keeps wearing different shoes on purpose. i’ll show you sometime.

so, armed with This Random Wrench and a lot of acting details that he can’t process very well, klaus HANGS OUT WITH LEMONY

so klaus spends a lot of time in the library in lemony’s house (which also doubles as lemony’s office, it’s big enough that he and violet can take separate corners and know each other’s there but not run into each other if they don’t want to (especially good for klaus pretending to be violet because no one has to see him TOTALLY FAIL AT INVENTING)), and it has so many books and klaus is so thrilled

klaus has to try and bring up bea and find out how they met, only, DISCREETLY

[gosh this one is a lot harder without “so doesn’t designing all those wedding dresses make you think about getting married again?”, especially because the truly spectacular “f word” line doesn’t make sense with lemony but what can you do]

he probably goes up to lemony while lemony’s at his desk because klaus figures, the easiest way could be to relate to something on the desk

AS purposeful narrative coincidence LUCK WOULD HAVE IT lemony is looking for something in his desk and you know lemony keeps the most inconsequential things and has accidentally dug out his plaque for ‘one semester of cheerleader participation’

klaus, immediately thrown by this news: you were a cheerleader?

lemony: mm? oh, my, I forgot about that.

he smiles at the plaque and dusts it off and my heart is m e l t i n g

lemony: yes, in high school. I wasn’t the only boy on the team, as a matter of fact. a – a friend of mine did it with me.

klaus: why were you on the cheerleading squad?

lemony, trapped in this conversation now: well – your mother was on the soccer team. I was not what you would call athletically inclined at the time, so I joined to support her.

klaus: !!!!!!!

klaus: my – my mother?

this was a fact he did not know about beatrice, as a matter of fact

lemony, realizing that children are going to be curious about their parents and, well, okay, it’s been eleven years, I probably won’t see beatrice again (ahahahahaha.), and my child deserves to know: yes. she was very good at soccer, among other talents, although she didn’t last very long in her soccer career.

klaus: why not?

[if this man was PAYING ATTENTION he would have noticed for sure that klaus is much more straightforward than violet.]

lemony, remembering that time beatrice launched herself across the soccer field and accidentally tackled the assistant coach and dragged him through the mud: she and the coach disagreed on some of the physical aspects of the game.

klaus, dying to hear what lemony’s going to say: what was she like?

lemony, immediately remembering the details of their divorce but also a series of Shenanigans from their school days that he should never repeat to anyone, then resolving to be kind about it: very charming and resourceful.

lemony: she had a great deal of verve.

lemony: I see a lot of it in you.

klaus is touched, I’M touched, god fucking dammit

klaus resolves to leave it there and decides to dig around lemony’s desk later for other things about bea and lemony when lemony isn’t looking

which he promptly does, that night.

klaus sees his typewriter and pictures of kit and jacques and there’s probably one of ramona (in a drawer) (sorry, ramona.) and in a secret compartment in the desk is a pic of bea (maybe one of bertrand too?) (definitely one of bertrand too) and some letters from bea (klaus recognizes her handwriting)

(watch it be something like, some stupid candygram she sent him for valentine’s day that says dear lemony, [the content of this candygram has been censored by the school administration] love bea!!!!!) (bea gets detention for a week for the content of the candygram.) (the second candygram gets through but it’s only because bea writes it so thoroughly in code that the school administration, at a passing glance, cannot see how raunchy it is. but also very heartfelt. it is genuinely heartfelt.) (so of course he has some from bertrand too. because bertrand sent everyone a candygram. they’re all so friendly but so sweet and so cute and bertrand’s just breaking my heart in this whole fic I love him so much) (they’re stuff like, i’m so happy we’re friends! happy valentine’s day! i made sure this candygram doesn’t have anything that will conflict with your peanut allergy! like some fucking NERD and i’m SOBBING) (because you know bertrand was on student council and helped with the candygrams, bea and lemony were definitely not on student council)

(bea: what gets me is that they still sent it!! they censored my loving sonnet about your ass but they still sent it!!!!!!

bertrand: I guess nothing stops true love?

lemony: or, nothing stops beatrice mariner. [you’d have to kill me before I conceded to ‘beatrice kornbluth.’ anyway one of kornbluth’s pen names was mariner so that’s my compromise.])

klaus thinks the candygrams are so fucking embarrassing and also had no idea his mother was capable of such language but then again, no, she is, but he also thinks they’re charming and evidence that lemony still has feelings for beatrice, if he kept them!!

he’s, intrigued, a little concerned, but not very worried about this mysterious picture of a strange man and his own candygrams, although klaus concedes they too are very sweet.

MEANWHILE, back in california

bea is so so so so so excited to pick up klaus (not knowing it’s violet) from the airport, like she manages to sit still for most of the wait but in the last half hour she just sort of bounces around the airport and buys a series of irritating, tasteless teas (“fuck this tea is so bland yes i’m ordering another one, ramona, don’t judge me”) and reads the same newspaper over and over again and when the flight comes in she’s ECSTATIC, MY GIRL IS BOUNCING ALL OVER THE PLACE

she’s the kind of like……...vaguely silly but a little (a lot) overprotective (?) parent

like beatrice is the one SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS WHEN SHE SEES HER KID CAUSE SHE’S SO THRILLED, she’s just very vocal about how much she loves….

[I actually rewrote some of bea in this (or, changed the amount of capitals I had her using) because, like, bea is delightful and charming and very smooth but she’s also got such passion for life, she loves to be delighted and she loves to laugh, and she’s so smooth and sarcastic but like!!!! I love beatrice when she’s having a good time, but I got worried that she was leaning too silly in this which. irritated me.

like, in canon I feel like she is incredibly mischievous but once she gets married and has kids, she’s still very on point and loves her kids very openly but she becomes a lot more straight-laced because she’s so intent to protect them, so much so that I think she loses a little of that mischievousness. but considering the fluctuating capacity of vfd vibes in this au, I think she is a little more…….loose in this. the other thing about bea is that her veneer of perfection is her best acting job of all time, and divorcing lemony and being a single mother and raising klaus puts a big dent in that and makes her even more determined to try and wring as much joy out of life as she can without letting people know how much she has to deal with]

violet, upon getting off the plane and seeing beatrice: oh.

beatrice: look at youuuuuuuuuu LOOK AT YOU!!! you’ve got everything??? all your limbs???? nothing broken????

she says all this while like running straight at violet and patting her down and then giving her the biggest hug of all time. violet is engulfed in this hug and!!! she thought her father gave tight hugs but this is something else

I think lemony puts a lot of warmth in his hugs but beatrice puts this endless amount of joy, along with love, into her hugs, and violet’s life up until this point has been very low-key and surrounded by adults who excel at deadpanning their dialogue so this is!!! very strange but very exciting!!! because violet herself also has this very bright enthusiasm that other people in her family don’t have the same way she does so as much as it’s so different to meet beatrice it’s really cool!!!!!

[for the record, bertrand’s hugs exude safety]

re: pierced ears

beatrice: oh, ramona and olivia are gonna be real upset.

beatrice: they definitely wanted to be involved in your first rebellious teenager act.

beatrice: then again, so did I??

violet: doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a rebellious act?

beatrice, going in for a side-hug: …...i missed that snark so much

does beatrice have a dog???? she’s really not a dog person. neither are ramona and olivia (dogs scare olivia. in fact, most things scare olivia. the toaster scares olivia. she’s so nervous and I love her.) (it’s less of a josephine fear and more of a ‘please leave me alone!!!’ sort of startled fear, is how I see it)

if there is a pet, ramona and olivia have a cat that olivia named annabelle, and she’s a sweet, all-white cat who loves cuddles. she does not even care that violet isn’t klaus. she’s just like, ‘this person has arms!! this person can cuddle.’ annabelle is the best, most chill cat. (although I headcanon that bea is allergic to cats – but that was just cause I was allergic to cats, and now that i’m not allergic to cats????? GUESS IT’S FREE REIN NOW) (anyway the cat is still ramona and olivia’s.)

so bea has to introduce klaus (violet!) to bertrand, and, oh, bea

she really has been putting this conversation off for quite some time, and she decides to just, go for it, as she’s driving violet home

beatrice: klaus, there’s, there’s someone i’d like you to meet

violet: who?

beatrice: an old friend of mine. we’ve been talking recently, and he means a great deal to me, and if you don’t like him, then that’ll be it, but – I really want him to be a part of our lives, klaus. I know it’s a big change, but I’d like you to give him a chance.

violet is REALLY, REALLY THROWN HERE because she and klaus are supposed to get their parents back together!!! this isn’t supposed to happen!!! this is supposed to be a happy ending without this NEW CHALLENGER (UNACCEPTED!!!!), how is she supposed to ask about lemony now???????

violet: oh, um

violet: well, I would like to meet him

she resolves to be HARD AND UNCOMPROMISING when she meets bertrand, but, well, then she meets bertrand fucking baudelaire. bertrand ‘sweetest man alive’ baudelaire. bertrand ‘just desperately wants to make a good impression on his fiance’s son’ baudelaire. god I love him. what a guy.

especially because bertrand really does just want to make a good impression, and he knows klaus is into geography right now so he brings this absolutely impressive atlas as a gift

not as an attempt to bribe klaus into liking him, but to show that he’s supportive of his interests!!!!

bertrand, sweetest man alive, shaking violet’s hand: i’m so excited to finally meet you!!

violet, blindsided by the sweetest man alive: oh, thank – thank you. it’s very nice to meet you too.

bertrand: I heard you were into geography, so I brought this atlas for you! I hope it’s alright.

violet, holding the biggest, heaviest atlas she’s ever seen in her life: oh. that’s very kind of you.

they spend some time looking through it because it has so many cool details

he stays for a while and then bows out gracefully because he cares so much, hello i’m dying, and then beatrice asks violet what she thought

violet: I –

violet: I liked him a lot.

beatrice: are you sure? because I swear, it’s fine, klaus, if you’re uncomfortable, it’s absolutely okay, it’s –

violet: no no! it’s fine!

[read: IT’S NOT FINE]

violet: I have this….atlas, now.

beatrice: you could kill a man with that.

violet: probably! I probably could.

beatrice: ….so it’s okay?

violet: ….it’s okay, mother.

[read: IT’S NOT OKAY BUT WHAT ELSE CAN SHE SAY HERE] [hey you know when you take out how much of an awful person meredith is you are left with a lot less humor in this situation.]

beatrice: I don’t know what I did to deserve a child like you, klaus.

cue good, squishy hug.

[personally I cannot fathom marrying someone else and having twins and raising one of them and not trying to have a relationship with your other child because you didn’t want to work things out with first spouse, but I never said I myself was smart either, in what I chose to write (I NEVER SAID I TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT)

anyway, I do think when bea says that, she thinks about it for a second

that (as far as she knows) this is klaus, she’s known him his whole life, and she had so little time with violet and maybe she would be sweet and clever too and she doesn’t know

she doesn’t know!!!!!!!

and it tears her apart for a split second that she doesn’t have everything and before she can let it eat her alive she shoves it down and forgets about it like she does with everything else and just, moves on] [time is a scary thing – if this much time has passed, what can you do? do they care? is it easier to do nothing or does that hurt more? does it even matter when both parents know their kids don’t know about their sibling or their other parent (or as far as they know at this moment)??? does that possibly make it even a little easier????] [anyway.]

because of bertrand – or, not necessarily bertrand, but more, ‘wedding shenanigans,’ but also, yeah, bertrand – violet also spends comparatively little time with beatrice

she wants to dislike him on principle, but can’t because he’s just???? so nice!!!! he talks seriously to her about her parents and about her (well, klaus) and really wants to get to know her (well, klaus) violet is begrudgingly impressed. violet thinks klaus would be really impressed too. but she’s real worried about what means for lemony and beatrice

especially since they did this not only to get their parents back together but to spend time with the opposite parent, like!!! violet has spent practically zero (0) time with bea to get to know her!!!!

so she holds off for a little bit and just genuinely hopes bertrand will somehow be less nice

this is hard, when bertrand helps bea make dinner ever night (klaus was VERY EXPLICIT that beatrice allows NO ONE in the kitchen when she’s cooking so there’s that) and he talks so damn OPENLY to violet about being a presence in her life

bertrand: klaus, I hope you don’t think i’m intruding in your life.

violet: I understand where you’re coming from when you say that but remarriage is in fact a part of life that occurs with some frequency.

[not only death and taxes, but haircuts and remarriage….]

violet: mother said you were an old friend, though?

bertrand: yes, we went to school together.

violet: if you don’t think it’s too rude of a question

violet: you strike me as the type of person who would have had a high school sweetheart and I am perhaps a little concerned that you didn’t marry my mother earlier.

inside, violet is cringing but it’s a very klaus line.

bertrand: !

bertrand: oh, well, we didn’t date each other in high school.

violet: ! you didn’t?

bertrand: no, there was –

bertrand has been. avoiding these feelings for some time. but he’s so struck by them that he has NO poker face in this situation

bertrand: – it just didn’t work out at the time, that’s all.

but fuck violet is absolutely stunned by that look on his face

she’s never seen someone look so heartbroken before and she is, concerned, but that’s mostly ignored in favor of the sheer stress of the situation

and violet does actually get kind of angry!! about bertrand being such a good person!! she starts to get really frustrated!!! like I picture this happening over, maybe a week

she hates that she can’t tie her hair back and her thoughts are all jumbled and that she has to wear glasses and she misses her dad and she loves beatrice a lot but NOTHING IS WORKING OUT LIKE SHE WANTED IT TO

and she has to wear klaus’s glasses and keeps taking them off when she’s sure no one’s looking to rub her eyes man I want to give this kid a hug

but she also wants to make her mom happy!!! fuck this is a mess

violet: he’s been – a lot kinder than I thought he would be.

beatrice: yeah, he has that effect on people.

beatrice: when we were in high school, we called him “bertrand ‘sweetest man alive’ baudelaire.”

beatrice is viscerally reminded of Being Drunk In College and tries to shrug it off

however, violet, growing up with two detail-oriented snickets, does not miss a single thing

violet: we?

beatrice: oh, you know – nicknames, nicknames stick, klaus, everybody calls everybody things!!

violet: it just sounded as if you were….

violet: /casts around for the correct grammatical term, she’s committed, but comes up with nothing because hell even I don’t know, apologies to my grammar professor from college

violet: ….using ‘we’ to mean just you and someone else and not necessarily lots of people.

beatrice is actually vaguely suspicious to hear Less Technical Grammar but chalks it up to the situation

beatrice: well, I mean, we had friends, of course – ramona and olivia!! that’s!! that’s who i’m talking about!! that’s all!!

violet remembers that ramona gave klaus his half of the wedding picture, and klaus told her what ramona said, that ramona didn’t like lemony’s hair at the time, and violet’s done the math, she knows how old lemony and bea are and that she and klaus were born not long after they left college, and with this sudden but persistent reluctance to talk about An Additional Person from high school from both bea and bertrand, violet is terribly suspicious that there could, in fact, be much more to this than she initially thought

beatrice: don’t forget, we start looking at hotels for wedding reception venues this week, okay?

violet: okay.

so, that night, violet, now alerted to the possibility that there could be a connection between bertrand and her father, and also DESPERATELY HOPING THERE IS ANYWAY BECAUSE THAT WOULD CAUSE HER SO MUCH LESS STRESS, goes digging

she grew up with bernadette for the past six years (and has also seen lemony create giant information webs to map out books), VIOLET KNOWS HOW TO GET INFORMATION AND PUT IT TOGETHER

she starts looking for yearbooks – they all went to the same school, for years, they have to be somewhere, but violet can’t find anything in the library, or ramona’s studio, or olivia’s office, or beatrice’s hiding place (the kitchen), and then looks through their desks for papers or plaques or photographs or anything that could give her a hint (nope)

if there is one thing she’s learned from bernadette, but also her father, it’s that the best place to hide something is usually in plain sight, which leads violet back to the library, pulling out boring-looking books to see if anything is stored behind them or in them (still nope)

this leads to violet CLIMBING THE BOOKCASES to reach the top shelf because adults are taller than her and put things on high shelves

and lo and behold, there it is, the senior year yearbook.

violet has a HEART-STOPPING MOMENT in the downward climb (which she’s doing one-handed anyway) where she almost steps on annabelle who she hadn’t realized was sleeping on a shelf and violet is TERRIFIED but annabelle, chillest cat in the world™, just yawns at her and picks a different shelf

annabelle is no sammy.

so, curled up in a library chair, violet finds not only pictures of beatrice and bertrand and lemony in the yearbook, but also a giant section of papers that fold out from the back cover where apparently lemony had more than the average length of a yearbook comment to say to her

violet, vaguely skimming this hardcore romantic comment, incredibly used to her father’s verbosity: yes that sounds about right.

and she finds a (significantly smaller but still lengthy and painfully heartfelt) signature from bertrand nearby, that definitely reads as a guy in love

but she’s still not sure how they feel about each other now, like a few yearbook signatures are no indication of how a person feels over eleven years later, so she’s still nervous about this and decides to sleep on it

this takes the whole night, violet is exhausted in the morning

now re: chessy unpacking hallie’s (annie’s) suitcase in the movie, it’s not that ramona did the same, but when doing the laundry earlier she did notice this weird amount of ribbons stuck in the lint filter/in pockets/pant legs/sleeves

and she barely even thinks anything of it at first and asks olivia and olivia has no clue and she’s not asking beatrice because beatrice has so much on her mind and ramona’s like ‘….hmmm,’ and goes to talk to klaus (violet)

ramona: hey klaus, I keep finding ribbons everywhere and I just wondered –

violet, in the process of running her hand through her hair cause she’s tired and processing a lot and misses being able to tie it: /JUMPS

violet: oh

violet: bookmarks, i’ve been using them as bookmarks

[actually violet has a million ribbons because lemony never wanted her to be without one, and it was so natural for violet to bring them with her she just legit forgot she wasn’t supposed to have them, like hallie with cuppy]

ramona, vaguely concerned: ….yeah, your mother used to do that

ramona: anything wrong with your hair?

violet: oh, no, not at all!

ramona: everything….going okay?

violet: yes, absolutely!

[the thing about violet acting as klaus though is that she can get like his speech patterns down but her own natural cheeriness still shows through in the places where klaus is in general quieter]

this is gonna get discussed right after this but ramona knows violet ties her hair up to focus because lemony told her in a letter, years ago

so ramona frowns and walks over to her and ties her bangs back with one of the ribbons, and violet just so visibly relaxes

ramona, incredibly emotional: oh

ramona: violet?

violet: ….yes.

ramona: so I can’t necessarily abide by breaking up a marriage but HECK YEAH i’m down for helping you reunite them. beatrice got me in the divorce and it’s very irritating just writing to lemony, which he actually hasn’t done for a while, now that I think about it.

violet: why don’t you just visit him? i’m sure he’d love to see you.

ramona: he makes me send the letters to a post office box. I do not know that man’s address.

violet: ……...that sounds about right.

(bea still does not find out until the hotel shenanigans, though.)

(I love ‘beatrice got me in the divorce’ like that’s fucking hilarious, cause I picture ramona as lemony and bea’s best friend so when they aren’t together it’s like…...well, what happens to ramona???? WHO DOES RAMONA HANG OUT WITH?? WHO GETS CUSTODY OF RAMONA)

(but also like, wtf lemony and ramona write to each other and bea never finds out???? I mean ramona was their best friend so like yes I think they do keep in contact but then does ramona never tell lemony about klaus????? and for them to write to each other and ramona to get these letters and BEA IS IN THE SAME HOUSE??????? I can’t tell if this is just angsty or poor thinking through on my part

but like ramona has to know for the reveal scene here to work out right, otherwise she’d never guess specifically violet

unless I rewrite the scene, but? nope. i’m committed to this ribbon reveal. I like it a lot. fuck it.

THIS WAS WHY I TOOK OUT BERTRAND AND OLIVIA AS CUTE PEN PALS auuuuuggggggg

I don’t know I mean. it is weird and stretching this (already shenanigans-filled) fic a little but. I don’t think it’s the WORST illogical thing I can stick in here. and they are friends, they can write to each other, just, yeah, probably not a lot and they actually probably don’t talk about the kids a lot, cause then lemony would know about both kids and since r wouldn’t tell bea she was writing to lemony bea wouldn’t know anything at all about violet and THAT’S what’s not good (although r telling lemony about klaus is cute i’m gonna have to nix it here. no can do.), so yeah r probs never brings up klaus and lemony rarely brings up violet, he probably only mentions the ribbon thing back when she was really really young because of how much it reminded him of bea and lemony was One Sad Man in his twenties trying to cope with the emotional reality of raising a child that reminded him of his wife and needed to tell someone

that is a lot of weight on ramona though and she doesn’t say anything but lemony apologizes for bringing it up in the next letter anyway and actually after that they probably talk a lot less cause it’s hard on both of them)

(writing is hard! writing is hard.)

ramona: so what’s your plan now?

violet: first, I have to make a phone call.

VIOLET CALLS KLAUS, keeping in mind the concept of time zones a little bit better than hallie and annie

violet: so, it turns out that mother is engaged????

klaus: engaged????? to who?????

violet: this man named bertrand, and, honestly, klaus, he’s such a nice person, he brought me, well he brought you, an atlas –

klaus: oh. that is very nice.

violet: it’s the sort of atlas you could probably use to incapacitate a reasonably-sized adult.

klaus: wow.

violet: and mother said that apparently she knew him when she was younger, and they get along so well, but –

klaus, remembering the picture he found with the extra candygrams: wait

klaus: is he sort of tall, and thin, and blonde

klaus: and sort of, idly optimistic

violet: yes! although I would say more….calmly steadfast

klaus: hmmm

klaus, trying to describe bertrand’s facial expression in this picture: disarmingly kind?

violet: humorously honest?

klaus: I think father has a picture of him in his desk!

violet: !!!!

[myth: confirmed!]

klaus: and some notes from high school from mother and him!

violet: !!! klaus, based on some other things i’ve found, I think all of them might have had feelings for each other.

klaus: !! that makes a considerable amount of sense here. if they all still do, that could make this much easier.

violet: but we won’t know for sure unless –

bernadette: who are you two talking about???

klaus: BERNADETTE

violet: bernadette, are you on the extension again

bernadette: well why wouldn’t I be?

bernadette: it sounds like you guys are talking about bertrand.

violet: how do you know who bertrand is?

bernadette: dad talks about him all the time???

bernadette: well, not when uncle lemony’s around

bernadette: he sent dad that book of poetry that mom immediately burned

bernadette: the elephant guy?

violet: …….oh, now that you mention it! that’s right!

klaus: wait why did your mother burn the book

violet: aunt kit has very little patience for certain poetry.

klaus: she doesn’t like john godfrey saxe??

violet: it’s a big deal, it’s best not to get into it.

violet: look, I think what we need to do is get everyone together and sort this all out.

violet: we’re scouting hotels this week for the reception, you can come here and meet up with us at one of them!

MEANWHILE, kit finds bernadette on the extension, for an honestly longer than usual length of time (bernadette does eavesdrop regularly), and also klaus on the phone in general (and violet rarely uses the phone, like, as a phone. usually she’s taking the phone apart), and really, nothing gets past kit fucking snicket. (you know kit denouement does have a great fucking ring to it, but as I said before, just try and tell me she didn’t insist on keeping her maiden name when she got married.)

so she goes and finds klaus and hears the end of the above conversation and is like ‘oh shit, they totally switched on lemony and bea, what badass kids’

[what if she tries to corner bernadette first

kit: bernadette, I didn’t know you knew anyone to call on the phone.

bernadette, without missing a fucking beat: I called the international operator to ask about time zones, but she caught me up in a conversation about soap operas and whether or not their use of sudden death is considered theatrically cathartic or not.

bernadette: I told her it happens way too often for it to be cathartic.

kit is too impressed to counter her. kit loves her daughter so fucking much.]

so then she sort of shows up in klaus’s doorway when he goes to leave the room after the phone call, arms crossed over her chest

kit: is there something you’d like to talk about?

kit can be outrageously intimidating but kit is also, actually, a pretty good parent

kit, significantly more gently: just between you and me, klaus.

klaus: …..maybe.

kit: come on, let’s go for a walk. you can tell me all about it.

klaus: it’s a long story.

kit: well, good, I like long stories.

klaus: are you going to tell father?

kit: don’t you think you should tell him?

klaus: do you think he’ll be upset?

kit: oh, not at all. more with himself than you, anyway. once, violet was responsible for wiping out the electricity of the whole city, and he gave her two slices of cake for dessert and said he should’ve bought more books on electrical wiring.

lemony is appropriately concerned and horrified and thrilled to see his son, like, oh my god, but the moment is taken over by the urgency of the situation because klaus says he has something to tell all of them that cannot wait

[forgive me for not writing that one out.]

klaus: so it seems like mother is getting married

lemony: oh

lemony: well

lemony: like haircuts, marriage – marriage comes to all of us, at some point –

klaus: to bertrand?

kit, lemony, and dewey: /STUNNED, DEAD SILENCE

kit: oh my.

dewey: what are the odds?

lemony: I think I can die now. I believe i’m ready.

bernadette: why don’t you just go see them and work this all out???

lemony: bernadette, I don’t know if life works like that.

bernadette: uncle lemony, you’re going to ruin all my bright-eyed optimism.

dewey: sometimes I think I didn’t have anything to do with you at all, bernadette. I think you just sprang, fully-formed, from your mother’s head.

kit: don’t be vulgar, dewey. ….thank you, though.

kit: but really I don’t see any other way to sort this out than by going to see beatrice and bertrand.

[this was one of the very first conversations I wrote for this and I am still very attached to it, even though I find dewey so hard to write, I haven’t yet figured out how I think he functions with these guys, especially kit, which I should maybe have done sooner but, what can you do.]

[also I feel like it just makes more sense in this for them to KNOW bea is engaged]

[I’m putting this in here because honestly……….in the movie once elizabeth realizes the switch she does not spend nearly enough time hugging hallie constantly or getting to know her, I get that seeing your ex-husband for the first time in eleven years is A Lot but YOUR DAUGHTER WHO YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IN ELEVEN YEARS AS WELL IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE] [also makes up for not writing klaus revealing himself as klaus, i’m so sorry.]

lemony: klaus?

klaus: ?

lemony: I – please don’t think that I didn’t love you. because I do, and I have thought about you every second of every day, I promise you. and there are many things that I should have done as your father, and many things that I cannot make up to you, but I want you to know that whatever happens with this, I have always loved you. and I am sorry.

so i’ve always pictured that klaus (besides looking reasonably like bea anyway, in any universe) gets angry like she does, and bea gets that sort of like, quiet cool hatred that turns into full-blown shouting really quickly and she will pull no punches and just fucking give it to you!!!!! and klaus has some sort of version of that and like look I put a lot of thought into ‘adult problems fucking over small children as those adults fervently avoid those problems’ when I wrote babybea so like

man, of course klaus can be angry at his parents for like???? never trying to work things out???? this is the first time in almost ten years he’s seen his father and his sister and he has an aunt and an uncle (and another uncle he hasn’t even seen!) and a cousin he never knew about because of lemony and bea being stubborn and stupid and recklessly young!!!!! I think violet is honestly less mad about it (well, she gets a little mad about it later on, but like, being raised by lemony, she has this weird way of trying to rationalize things while feeling really guilty about it, but that’s scenes away from right here – or she just? maybe internalizes it more.) but klaus is like, he’s not totally angry but like, as himself, face to face with lemony, lemony talking to him like a parent and about klaus and not about bea or violet or shenanigans or anything, like, yeah, he’s a little angry that it’s just….taken this long and that lemony and bea are so stupid

klaus is an angry crier. and an angry hugger. so that’s what he does.

like it’s hard to suddenly have a relationship with a family member whose never….been that to you before or made themselves available like that or just generally been there at all, and as much as I want them all having a good time, bea and lemony have some shit to work out with their kids

THEY HAVE A GOOD HUG, IS THE POINT

and I want to say that like they spend some time together after this and…….yeah they probs do it’s just gonna be weird re: the previous paragraph so…….maybe they just sit around and read and occasionally point things out to each other, that sounds chill and legit, doesn’t ask a lot of either of them

SO, that brings us to, later that night, when lemony can Officially Panic

kit: so

kit: you seem a little tense, brother mine.

lemony: I am NOT going to break up a marriage between two loving people who care about each other and happen to have incredibly pleasant facial features and are two people I myself still care about a great deal despite not having seen either of them for a lengthy amount of time

lemony: we’re only going to switch the children back, and I will talk to beatrice, about something, and I don’t have to say anything at all to bertrand, and that’s going to be it. that’s all. nothing beyond that.

kit: that would be a more powerful statement if you weren’t packing every single fancy tie you own.

lemony: really.

lemony: we’re not going to think any more into this.

lemony: that’s all we’re going to do.

lemony: which tie should I wear?

kit: well, definitely don’t pick one of the ones you’re strangling in a death grip.

(hey, where is jacques in this??????????? wish I knew)

(he’s probably regularly out of town, maybe he happens to call home and bernadette is the one to pick up the phone and she’s like “we’re going to see aunt beatrice, I think we’ll be back in a week or something?” and then immediately hangs up because dewey calls her for something, and jacques is left, miles and miles away, standing in a phone booth and wondering if, perhaps, he should maybe visit his siblings more often so they don’t go tearing off to california

jacques: kit what the hell is going on

kit: what, didn’t bernadette tell you?

lemony: ask him what tie I should wear

kit: we’re embarking on the adventure of a lifetime, jacques, it’s your own fault that you decided to go out of town this weekend, I really don’t know what to tell you

lemony: ask him what tie I should wear

kit: /sighs

kit: what tie should your brother wear

jacques: the one with the single blue stripe, it brings out his eyes, what are you two doing

kit: really, jacques, you need to pay more attention

kit: lemony, he says the one with the blue stripe

lemony: oh, good. tell him he’s a lifesaver.

kit: lemony says you’re a lifesaver, although I have yet to see real proof of this, however I will consider changing my mind if you happen to bring me a souvenir. please remember that I could use a new set of nice, engraved fountain pens. also our plane is leaving soon and we need to pack, so bye, loser

jacques: ………………….

jacques: what did I do to deserve this)

(jacques, in any universe, is eternally pained by his siblings)

this being a rehearsal dinner brings it very close to, you know, an actual wedding date, and the thing is, I have planned a completely different wedding-related fic, weddings are EXPENSIVE AND, YOU KNOW, TIME-CONSUMING, PLANNED IN ADVANCE, ALL THAT SHIT

but the whole reason there’s a wedding in the parent trap in general is because, if meredith and nick are just dating, there’s no commitment, marriage means COMMITMENT and A TIME CONSTRAINT and meredith wants his fucking money

so yeah bea and bertrand ARE engaged and planning to get married and plans have happened but the idea of this being so close to the rehearsal dinner makes me sad about all those ‘yeah i’m gonna have to cancel’ phone calls someone is gonna have to make, which is, well, pretty silly, but still, I Hate feeling uncomfortable esp when reading things like that (or even just, thinking of them in advance)

and that is why they are scouting hotels for the reception. (don’t ask me where the denouement is. I do not know.)

so bea + co get to the hotel first, and the only people who know lemony + co will be there are violet and ramona

ramona, hanging back to talk to violet while bea and bertrand and olivia (she has a good eye for decorating.) go ahead: do you know what you’re going to do?

violet: well, I thought maybe we would just

violet: all bump into each other?

violet: and go from there??

ramona thinks that’s an exceptionally courageous take on this and that, yep that girl sure is bea’s daughter

[yeah bea still has NO IDEA ANY OF THIS IS HAPPENING ramona is A+ at keeping secrets

meanwhile, sometime later-

olivia: you didn’t tell me?????

ramona: olivia, I love you dearly but you can’t keep a secret to save your life

[oh, yikes, re: legit asoue canon]

olivia: ……..okay, you have a point.]

it is at this moment that lemony + co arrive, and bertrand, who had backtracked for a moment because he realized he dropped a pen, immediately runs into dewey, who had stopped near the door to examine the hotel brochures and ambiance in more detail (you can take the boy out of the hotel but you can’t take the hotel out of the boy)

[based on penultimate peril, I always thought bertrand and dewey were very good friends and had bonded over absurd poetry, and, of course, based on kit burning the poetry book, are still in contact – there’s much less of a sense of forced distance between bertrand and dewey, because dewey’s just lemony’s brother-in-law and bertrand was friends with dewey first so they’re still good friends but like most adults they have a hard time committing to keeping in contact regularly especially with the distance and haven’t physically seen each other for some time]

so they bump into each other –

bertrand: dewey!!

bertrand: it’s been ages, what are you doing here, how are you!!!

[dewey denouement, much in the way that olivia caliban can’t keep a fucking secret, cannot fucking lie.]

dewey: oh, um

dewey: you know

dewey: hotel conference!!

dewey: kit wanted to travel!!!!

dewey: we’re traveling FOR a hotel conference!!!

dewey: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE CURTAINS, BERTRAND

bertrand: ……..dewey, you’ve never been very good at lying.

dewey: no, no I really haven’t.

dewey: forgive me for everything, bertrand.

bertrand: you might have to be a little more specific.

beatrice: bertrand, have you – dewey??

dewey: oh no

beatrice, remembering dewey and kit are married, suddenly battling sheer terror the likes of which she has never experienced: how….how are you

dewey: I could be better. I could definitely be better.

beatrice: is kit here?

bertrand: I believe they’re here to look at the curtains.

dewey: we’re definitely here to look at curtains.

beatrice: ….they don’t have curtains in england

dewey, grasping at straws: not….like these….?

MEANWHILE back at the ranch, lemony backtracks outside because he dropped a pen, narrowly missing three adults awkwardly talking about curtains

olivia: beatrice, we’ll be late for the wine tasting if we don’t go soon.

beatrice: oh – well, dewey, it was….nice to see you

dewey: please, go enjoy your wine.

bertrand: /waves good-bye!!!!

klaus and bernadette, hiding behind a nearby ficus, because bernadette thinks fast and has her own specific idea about how this should go and it doesn’t involve her relatives meeting again because of her father talking about curtains: wow.

violet: /narrowly avoids getting swept up into the wine tasting, darts for the elevator to try and locate klaus + co

MEANWHILE back at the ranch, upstairs, in their hotel room

lemony: why did I think I could do this

lemony: how do I approach a couple here to scout locations for a wedding reception?

kit: ….you approach them

dewey: don’t talk about curtains, maybe.

lemony: i’m not – dewey, what do curtains have to do with this?

dewey: trust me, just don’t talk about them.

there is a knock at the door. lemony has seen death. this is it, for him.

anyway, it’s violet.

klaus: violet!

violet: klaus!

awkward sibling hug sincere sibling hug!!

violet: klaus, please take your glasses back.

klaus: oh, thank you. my spare pair just doesn’t feel the same as these.

lemony: violet!

now, seeing the two of them together, he can absolutely tell the difference between them. ain’t that just the way.

lemony hugs his daughter like she’s going to disappear right out of his arms and then hugs klaus for good measure and he has to try and ignore the true roller coaster of emotions that puts him through and then tries to look very stern.

lemony: i’m not disappointed in the two of you but I cannot believe you switched on your mother and me. that was very….

lemony is not good at being angry at his children, he has no real concept of it.

lemony: ….clever. it was very clever.

violet and klaus are very proud but find it in themselves to try and look a little chagrined. they don’t do it very well.

violet: father, you really need to talk to mother.

klaus: and bertrand.

lemony: both of you know about bertrand??

klaus: you and mother are very transparent about him.

MEANWHILE back at the ranch, at the wine tasting

ramona: what do you think?

beatrice and bertrand, equally lost in thought about the presence of dewey, the implied presence of kit, and the possibility of the presence of lemony: hm??

bertrand: oh, yes

beatrice: wine

beatrice: /downs entire glass

beatrice: /sets down glass

beatrice: not that one.

bertrand, who has been holding the same glass for the past twenty minutes and has no idea which wine that even was: definitely not.

MEANWHILE back. at. the. ranch.

lemony’s children have such boundless courage (I have hurt myself so many times while writing this fanfic with the occasional too-on-point line and this in particular wounds me these kids are so strong and so important and won’t take no for an answer compared to their parents and get the chance to get their parents to FIX THINGS and oh no i’m gonna cry) and have dragged him downstairs to the lobby, with the INTENTION of having him run into bea and bertrand

lemony: this is not going to work out –

violet: nonsense!

klaus: it’s going to work perfectly.

meanwhile, bea and bertrand leave the wine tasting

bertrand: ….did we come to a conclusion, about the wine?

beatrice: no, I don’t think so.

bertrand stops by the bathroom to wash his hands for something to do as he’s consumed with thoughts (not about wine), beatrice is in a daze as she goes through the lobby, violet notices her but sees she’s not with bertrand and decides she has to stall

violet, rushing over, purposely trying to block beatrice’s view with varying success: mother, how was the wine tasting?

beatrice: oh, it was –

did you remember violet gave klaus his glasses back?

beatrice: klaus, what happened to your –

and, well.

beatrice looks at her so hard and processes kit and dewey being here and then it fucking hits her like (forgive me. forgive me so hard.) a harpoon to the chest

beatrice: ….violet?

violet: yes.

beatrice: but – how –

klaus, appearing next to her: it’s a truly fascinating chain of events we’d like to tell you, but –

hey! beatrice is stunned and horrified! and grabs her daughter into a hug, knowing now that it’s her daughter and has been this whole time and!!!! she feels so awful with herself for not noticing but is also trying to not make a big deal out of it and startle violet by sobbing uncontrollably on her shoulder but beatrice is simultaneously devastated and filled with so much love and she’s for sure going to break apart now

beatrice: and klaus –

she’s hugging them both now, it’s very good.

beatrice, in tears: you two are lucky you’re so cute

violet: mother, there’s someone we’d very much like you to talk to.

beatrice knows somewhere in the back of her mind that it’s lemony but is also not even thinking of lemony because, her children

klaus: /tries to wave lemony over

lemony: /trying and failing to hide behind a ficus, have you seen a ficus, have you seen lemony

violet: /ALSO WAVING

beatrice can’t miss that for the world.

beatrice, while turning around: what are you two –

imagine, if you will, lemony snicket trying to hide behind a potted ficus that hits about mid-chest.

also imagine, if you will, two people who divorced over eleven years ago, still have too many feelings about each other, split up their children for their stupidity, have been trying to avoid the knowledge that both of them are there for the past hour, and are now confronted with the reality of their lives right in front of them

…….besides the ficus.

lemony, stepping out from behind the ficus: hello, bea.

this is a headcanon i’ve long held, since I first started writing asoue fanfic, but, bertrand and lemony say ‘bea’ differently, especially in canon, like particularly in canon, so it’s like less so here but lemony still says her name with so much love, and bertrand says it with love too but lemony has known beatrice for so so long and here they are after years apart and here he is saying her name again, and he never ever ever expected to say it like that again, he never even DREAMED of saying it to her again, but it’s real

beatrice: lemony snicket.

violet: as nice as this is for us –

klaus: – we’re going to allow you three the time you need to discuss assorted events.

at this moment (of course), bertrand reemerges.

bertrand: bea, I –

he sees violet and klaus rushing off, looking delighted, and bea and lemony standing there still trying to process words, and then there’s bertrand, frantically thinking ‘abort mission, ABORT MISSION’

because. the way they turn and look at him, in tandem, like they did all the time in high school, immediately makes bertrand feel like they’re there, back in high school, back at prom, here’s the two absolute loves of his life standing in front of him and bertrand is filled with delight but also fear because, here it is, they all have to deal with it now

(all of them are thinking that, the three of them, standing there, there is not a single trace of jealously but instead there is so much love and regret and it’s, heart-wrenching)

and here is where he loses all his Chill™.

bertrand: you know what, i’m gonna – go –

bertrand: /trips over a chair

lemony: oh –

beatrice: bertrand!

bertrand: totally fine, still alive, i’m – they have such a nice gift shop, you know, i’m – i’ll be there

bertrand: /high-tails it practically out of existence

beatrice and lemony: ….

lemony: he – he still has a very nice running form.

beatrice: yeah, I think so.

lemony: well, bea

lemony: or does everyone call you beatrice now?

beatrice: no, no, bea – bea is fine. bertrand still calls me bea.

[beatrice starts to laugh. “it’s – man, it’s funny, isn’t it?”

lemony smiles at her. “what is?”

“i’m going to marry your high school crush,” beatrice giggles, “who’s still – still in love with you.” she stops. “you know, that’s actually really not as funny as it sounded in my head,” she says, frowning.]

they have dinner!!! and talk. about. stuff. do violet and klaus recreate the night lemony and bea met or the wedding or something????? idk honestly. like at least they didn’t get married UPON MEETING I MEAN LIKE COME ON (although somehow that is very them, but, come on, this backstory is good and solid and I love characters that grow)

maybe they just pool their allowances and give their parents a banging night out (which is pretty much just. dinner.)

beatrice: I see that cut on your forehead healed up nice

lemony: yes, anna karenina left very little lasting damage –

both: – except to anna karenina.

they pause, and then just, fucking burst out laughing, this is a horrible old joke for them that they made up when they were in school because anna karenina was the biggest book either of them owned (neither of them were particularly interested in war and peace) but was somehow sort of light and if you dropped it it really didn’t do much damage, which they thought was funny re: the size of the book and the subject matter

beatrice throws it at lemony during the fight that ends with their divorce and it’s the first time it actually hurts something

lemony: so, how is bertrand

lemony: I don’t think i’ve seen him since – well, since before the twins were born.

beatrice: oh, he’s – he’s doing really, really well. he’s a librarian, and – we keep joking about how many more books klaus and I will be able to read. lemony, he’s got the magazine editions of hammett –

lemony: w h a t

lemony: does he even have the –

beatrice: yep. he has the unfinished story. i’ve seen it.

lemony: I knew I liked that man for a reason

THERE IS SUCH A WEIGHTY PAUSE.

lemony: that is, hammett, obviously. I mean, the continental op is one of the quintessential fictional detectives, and hammett’s novels –

beatrice: you did like him, didn’t you

beatrice: when we were in school, you looked at him the same way you looked at me.

lemony: oh, no

lemony: I looked at you with a rapt adoration and I looked at bertrand like he was a puzzle I couldn’t solve. I have that on good authority from my sister.

beatrice: oh, right, right.

lemony: ….but I did, didn’t I. I did like him very much.

lemony: I don’t think anyone disliked him.

beatrice: that wasn’t quite what I asked, lemony.

lemony: ….what do you want me to say, bea? that I saw him there, with you, and couldn’t even find it in me to be jealous because the sight of you two together made me so unbelievably happy that I forgot how to breathe? that I – that I wondered, for a moment, if, twelve years later, we could – if I –

lemony: ….i don’t believe this conversation is supposed to be about bertrand.

beatrice: …….no, I – I suppose not.

lemony: that day, when you asked me to leave –

beatrice: you mean when I shouted at you to leave.

lemony: I was trying to be kind.

beatrice: lemony, I for sure shouted at you.

lemony: no, bea, I – I thought things would be better if I left. if you didn’t have to put up with me, because you clearly didn’t want to. and I didn’t make it easy for you, back then. there were many things I overlooked about both of us, things I hid from both of us, things I should have talked about with you. and I didn’t.

beatrice: ….oh.

lemony: I thought that loving the person that I wanted you to be was enough for the person that I wanted to be. obviously, it wasn’t, because you asked me to leave and I left. I never even looked back.

beatrice: ….lemony, I don’t think anything would’ve been enough for either of us. I asked a lot of you, too. I didn’t want you to see anything bad about me, and you didn’t, but the longer we were like that, the more I just – the more I really hated you for it. you just saw what you wanted to. and, well, what I wanted you to. I think I kind of hated me, too.

beatrice: sometimes, I think, what would’ve happened if we’d stayed together and I don’t know if I like that either. not that it was – okay, what we did. because it wasn’t. and we might’ve changed or we might’ve fucked up even worse, I don’t know, and i’ll never know.

beatrice: but lemony, seeing her now, I regret every single second I haven’t spent with her because of it.

lemony: I know.

beatrice, who’s a little angry cause she hates when lemony says that to her and her temper gets away from her: do you?

lemony, who’s just regretting all his life choices and knows he fully deserves beatrice’s ire: ….i’ve missed so much of his life.

beatrice, voice breaking: ….yeah.

man, these are some really miserable parents.

beatrice: we should – I don’t know, you know, what we’re gonna do, with – us – but we should – they, they should see each other. we can’t do that to them again.

lemony: I agree.

beatrice: you know, we have some pretty clever kids. I would never – okay, maybe, but I don’t know – have had the balls to switch places with someone on the other side of the world.

lemony: we do, don’t we?

lemony: I know we didn’t do a great deal right, but, maybe we did, with them.

beatrice: ….yeah, maybe we did.

beatrice: not every day two people have kids like ours.

lemony: …….can I be honest with you, bea?

beatrice: …okay.

lemony: i’m glad they switched places. i’m – i’m glad I got to see you. and bertrand. and you.

beatrice: i’m glad you came, lemony.

[all these conversations starring two people steadfastly trying to avoid that they are still in love with each other but also trying to really acknowledging they have Real Problems, brought to you by one (1) woman struggling to get two characters to talk about their problems but also the idea of introducing a third person into their already rocky relationship, don’t mind me just casually dying over here, this was harder than I thought]

beatrice, feeling the weight of this conversation and knowing they done fucked up in the past but also desperately wishing she and lemony could go back to where they were before only better and just trying to figure out where they’re gonna go from here, girl’s doing her best here, and you know what, so am i: so, um

beatrice: fuck, marry, kill

beatrice: continental op, nick charles, sam spade.

lemony, going through incredibly similar emotions: ….

lemony: do you want me to give my virtue to one man and then marry another

beatrice: why do you always take this game so literally

beatrie: I am banging nick charles, but I am marrying the continental op for job stability, and I am killing sam spade where he stands

lemony: bea, no, you can’t just kill sam spade like that

lemony: how about, I take the continental op to dinner, I have a pleasant night with nick charles –

beatrice: I like that we’d both fuck william powell.

lemony: we’ve both seen william powell. no one wouldn’t.

lemony: but sam spade, though, I don’t think it’s so clear cut as all that –

they’ve really!! grown a lot!! they’re really trying to talk this out!!! a little, at least!!! be adults!!!! talk like they didn’t eleven years ago!!!!!! they’re so stupid and they’re trying so hard!!!! my kids………….

this is definitely not the only conversation they’re gonna have about this, like it’s Good that they’ve said this but there’s. a lot more they need to talk about and will probably talk about, just not right now

anyway, LATER –

the continuing saga of two people Not Talking and then Talking About Certain Things and then Inadvertently Talking About The Things They Didn’t Want To And Not Quite Realizing It

lemony: at the hotel

lemony: you, ah, said something about bertrand

beatrice: !!!!

beatrice: ooo, we are talking about him, hmm?

lemony: bea.

beatrice: fine, fine. yes, that he’s still in love with you.

lemony: is he really?

beatrice: I think he is.

beatrice: you still didn’t really answer me before, when I asked if you still felt the same about him.

lemony: ….does it matter, if you’re going to marry him?

beatrice: of course it matters! i’m not – i’m not marrying bertrand to, prove a point or anything, or – say I like him better than you, I – i’m marrying him because I, I love him, but I don’t – that’s not all there is to this.

beatrice: I mean, we didn’t get divorced because of bertrand, that was all on us, but – seeing both of you, sometimes I feel like – maybe – we – maybe we could’ve made it work. not if we had bertrand, but with him. now.

beatrice: and, and that’s a lot, to ask you – I know – it’s a lot to ask both of us, especially after everything, but – do you?

lemony: ….bea.

beatrice: lemony.

lemony: ….i feel that, in the interest of the past eleven years, we should perhaps talk to him before I make a concrete decision about that personal feeling.

beatrice: well, that’s – that’s a wise choice.

they are, quiet, for a while

it’s a lot to think about, you know?? there’s a lot to this

lemony: …….but I think I do.

beatrice: you think you do?

lemony: I think I do.

beatrice: I think I do, too.

there is a little more silence because they’re like ‘!!!!! well that’s SOMETHING REALLY BIG TO THINK ABOUT’ especially because they haven’t like totally committed back to a relationship with each other and there is!! still!!! so!! much!!!! but, they’re thinking about it now, and they’re, sort of floaty-happy because it’s like, wow, wow, this is a possibility, they can

maybe

push it, a little, and see what happens, maybe maybe

lemony: well, you should, you are marrying him.

beatrice: shhh, you are ruining the rhythm.

lemony: I think –

beatrice: you think?

lemony: it’s been known to happen.

beatrice: mmm, I don’t think so

[it’s hard to tell because there’s generally very little concept of outside action/feelings when getting down scenes this way but these few lines are supposed to be v cute and soft and just the tiniest bit flirty]

lemony: trust me, I have had many a thought.

beatrice: well, I think –

lemony: you think, now, do you

beatrice: I do indeed, lemony snicket.

[god. lemony wants to kiss her so fucking bad. beatrice wants to keep teasing him until he does kiss her. they’re very close. he just. smooths her hair behind her ear and takes a step back.]

lemony: I think we should talk to bertrand.

beatrice: yeah. we should. we should probably do that.

MEANWHILE.

I want bertrand to bond with these kids with all my heart so that’s what fucking happens while bea and lemony are dealing with their problems

they play a rousing game of scrabble. it’s usually a game I give the snicket siblings because of their vicious playing styles (which is just based on me and my brother playing scrabble) BUT I love scrabble a lot and I think it’s super cute if bertrand hangs out with violet and klaus and they play board games, it’s distressingly endearing to me, violet trying to sneak in names of inventors on the board and klaus being insistent on following the rules of the game and bertrand trying to come up with a sufficient compromise

bertrand: okay, so, last names are allowed, but only if you can also include the first initial, initialisms by themselves are not allowed, and foreign words and phrases are on a case-by-case basis, providing I can translate it and you’re not trying to put down something inappropriate.

klaus: what about scientific names?? can I put down binomial nomenclature

violet: hey how do you spell binomial

klaus: b-i-n-o-m-i-a-l

violet: oh, how neat.

violet: /puts it down on the scrabble board

klaus: ….

violet: :)

bertrand: it looks like you can put down binomial nomenclature.

bertrand: but yes, I will allow actual nomenclature, klaus.

klaus is deathly quiet for the next few turns until he manages to put down nomenclature. (which I think is achievable, with enough luck.)

klaus: actual. nomenclature.

violet: so that’s how it’s gonna be, huh

bertrand: okay, references to previous conversations are no longer allowed, let’s try this again

eventually they stop playing the damn game and come up with their own wildly specific set of rules for playing scrabble, and bea and lemony come back to a lot of paper and a lot of scrabble tiles and violet and klaus sitting on either side of bertrand on the couch, helping him write this rule list

and bea and lemony want to comment about how they’re not even playing scrabble, but watching bertrand interact with their kids and be so soft and patient with them is the most distressingly heartwarming thing they’ve seen in a long time

they both have the immediate thought of ‘holy fuck I wanna kiss that man,’ which is followed by ‘holy f u c k maybe a relationship between all of us could work’

lemony: bertrand.

bertrand: ?

lemony: could we talk?

there is no camping trip! instead we got NEARBY HOTEL SHENANIGANS and THREE PEOPLE ON A DATE AT A LOCAL FAIR, TRYING TO FEEL THINGS OUT

imagine your average carnival-fair sort of thing with Rides and Games and Absurd Amounts of Cotton Candy and That Super Salty But Still Real Good Popcorn

bertrand and lemony arrive first and bea specifically gets there late so bertrand and lemony can actually talk, because honestly this is the only time I can see in all this that these two would be able to talk to each other uninterrupted

and they all know they’re there for the weirdest date ever but bertrand still feels the need to clear the air

bertrand: lemony, I don’t want you to think that I was waiting your marriage out or anything, I didn’t even know you two weren’t together until last year, and I didn’t even intend to see bea, it just happened on accident –

lemony: bertrand, it’s fine.

lemony: beatrice and I aren’t married anymore, you don’t have to explain anything.

bertrand: ….sometimes I feel like i’ve wanted to explain everything to you, for the past fifteen years.

[bertrand ‘breaking my fucking heart again’ baudelaire…….]

bertrand: that’s – silly, isn’t it.

lemony: no. I don’t think so.

bertrand: I never got the chance to say it. well, actually I don’t think I ever let myself say it, because I had plenty of chances! especially at prom, I could’ve changed everything! but you and bea were so – I wanted you two more than anything else in the whole entire world, but I didn’t want to hurt you two or what we had. I think I did, though.

bertrand: and, and I really shouldn’t blame myself or anyone for these stupid mistakes that happened when we were just kids, because we were just kids!

bertrand: I mean, we’re right here, right now, and i’m – i’m really looking forward to this, lemony.

[lemony, much like me, is momentarily dazzled by how fucking genuine bertrand is]

lemony: so am I.

lemony: ….i kept those candygrams you sent me when we were all in high school because they were remarkably sweet and I treasure them dearly

bertrand: !!

lemony is so nervous and I love him and you know when you get nervous and you just sort of spill weird secrets to people, especially when it’s the person you like???? that’s that

they look at each other for a moment and then start laughing and it’s the kind that starts kind of soft and then they’re just rampantly giggling and being dorks and I love them both so damn much okay

and because they haven’t regularly seen each other in you know fifteen years they spend some time. talking about their lives. there’s a lot of things they don’t know about each other!

lemony and bertrand like make a vague show of trying to win bea some prize and they suck and they stand to the side and talk while bea wins herself a prize and she runs back over to them and just looks so proud of herself, winning this…….thing (it’s very much “i don’t know if it’s a duck or a panda, but I want one.”)

lemony: is it a…….hmmm

bertrand: ….those are cat ears, right

beatrice: what, no, they’re wolf ears

lemony: it has webbed feet, though

bertrand: it’s a platypus! oh, no, not with all those feathers.

lemony: it could easily be a duck, I suppose

beatrice: BUT THE EARS

bertrand: a penguin!

lemony: a grackle

bertrand: a goose!

beatrice: THE E A R S

lemony and bertrand share an obnoxious amount of cotton candy, and honestly it’s the date they all should’ve had in high school, a date that would’ve changed everything, and man, they’re having so much fun and maybe they could do this, lemony has never been so happy and bertrand is just this ball of delight and, it’s really beautiful, and beatrice is for sure thinking that and she’s having such a good time and she’s so happy

but then

she thinks, what if it DIDN’T change everything, what if they all got together in high school and tried to make it work and really fucked each other over, would they have been able to do it?? what really would’ve happened??? and they’re adults now, they’re better people but they have so much more to think about, there is so much more at stake now and beatrice is fucking terrified about what could happen, all of a sudden

and she’s been terrified for years about all the terrible things that could happen to klaus or her or ramona and olivia and even their stupid cat and she’s still trying to hide it so well and she does, she’s happy and creates such a good life for her son but she is so scared and she can’t keep running from it anymore by being impulsive or silly or shouting all the time, she has to face the reality of the situation that she really has to think this one through, what all three of them are going to do about this

she and lemony still have so many problems, and they both know that, they all know that!!! they aren’t going to solve them right away!!! and with bertrand there, maybe it’ll be harder!! maybe it won’t be easier!!! not that bertrand immediately makes things easier, in any universe!!! but especially here!!! you know!!! what if they don’t talk about anything because he’s there??? what if they avoid talking about everything so much in trying to be happy that they irreparably fuck them all over??? it’s been so long since all three of them were together, what if they can’t do this!! what if their kids don’t like them together, what if none of them can get along??? suddenly there are a lot more variables to this, and seeing it happen, bea is struck by everything they’re going to have to fix and all the ways it could go wrong and it’s not good

beatrice: …..what are we doing?

beatrice: and – and what if it doesn’t work out, this time?? what if we all try this and we can’t do it??

bertrand: do you think that little of yourself?

beatrice: no.

beatrice: i’m thinking about, what if I break my kid’s hearts, even worse than I already have? I can’t do that, not to them.

and, they get it. they love each other so much but this story isn’t about just the three of them anymore.

bertrand and bea decide not to get married. and even though they all know they still love each other, lemony and bea have violet and klaus to think of, so they all decide it would be for the best to go their separate ways.

violet and klaus are not happy, by any means. they are not happy to pack up all their stuff and know that nothing is going to work out, and it hurts, a lot, man

klaus, picking up his books: I really respect our parents and their chosen additional life partner but don’t you think they can be a little…..

violet, jamming her toolkit into a suitcase: stupid?

klaus: I was going to say stubborn

klaus: but stupid works too.

so they all say good-bye :( lemony, violet, kit and dewey and bernadette go home. (bernadette’s real upset no one got back together. she hides it well but she just sort of crams herself into her seat on the plane on the trip home and is just super bummed. I love this lil kid.) (I fondly remember when this outline was nowhere near over 20k and was just a short little thing and bernadette’s scenes just monopolized it….)

the thing I love about bea raising klaus is that, and I also feel this for canon too, klaus gets so so much of bea’s anger and short temper

like violet is a lot more calmer in the take no shit category but klaus will, like his mother, flip a table

klaus: mother, that was the most foolish thing you’ve ever done and you know it

beatrice: !

beatrice: don’t you – don’t you use that tone with me, klaus

beatrice: I am your mother

klaus: and you’re just going to let my father and my sister walk away from us???

beatrice: I – it’s more complicated than that!

klaus: how??

beatrice: klaus, would you want me to risk this, everything we have, on the off chance that your father and I could maybe sort out our differences?

klaus: you didn’t seem to have that many differences!

beatrice: there’s a lot of things you don’t know, klaus!

klaus: then tell me! you’re the one who’s always telling me I can do anything, and I just think it seems pretty rich of you to decide that that doesn’t apply to you, or that I don’t get to know everything about the people who are supposed to be my family!

klaus has a point, here, and beatrice realizes that, so she decides IN THAT INSTANT that, okay. fine. it’s time to do something about this and she can do something about this.

SO SHE GOES TO BERTRAND

bertrand: bea, what –

beatrice: I can’t – look, I can’t do this to my kids either, okay, I can’t keep them apart anymore, what – why did I think that was such a good idea in the first place??? so I wouldn’t see lemony?? so I wouldn’t work things out between us, because we were fucking kids when we were together and, and I sacrificed my relationship with my daughter because I was so petty and selfish, and i’m doing it again, bertrand!! i’m letting myself do it again after everything we all talked about because i’m so fucking scared but I – I can’t do this to myself, you know? I want – I want things to work out this time. with all of us. I want to make it work and i’m going to make it work and i’m going to go get my daughter and lemony, and I want you to come with us, if you want to come with us.

klaus, leaning out of the car window and shouting at beatrice and bertrand, who are standing on the steps of bertrand’s place: if I may interject, the plane we intend to catch does leave in half an hour, so you two should maybe hurry up a little

klaus: not to ruin your moment or anything!

bertrand, desperately: I want things to work out, bea, I do. but what if you were right and we can’t –

beatrice: i’m right about a lot of things, bertrand baudelaire, and i’m right about this.

bertrand, nodding and trying not to smile too much: ….okay. okay.

MEANWHILE

violet: ….are you mad at me?

lemony: what – violet, I could never be mad at you.

violet: but I – I went behind your back, and I tricked both of you, and I wasn’t even thinking about what you wanted, it – it was just what I wanted, and that wasn’t okay, I shouldn’t have interfered with you and mother at all, I feel so awful –

lemony: none of what happened was your fault, violet. not at all. it was mine. i’m sorry that I kept so much from you. it was incredibly unfair to you, and to klaus. I should have told you a long time ago.

violet: I never got to ask before, but why did you and mother get divorced?

lemony: ….we were very young, and very impulsive. and, also, incredibly scared. that’s not a good combination when you’re trying to make a life with someone.

violet: you two seemed to get along a little better, now.

lemony: well, eleven years is a lot of time. you get older, and you realize the mistakes you made in your youth could’ve been dealt with a lot more easily than you previously thought. you realize you were….

violet: stubborn?

lemony: stupid.

violet: what made it not work out, this time?

lemony: you also realize there are more important things to think about than yourself and what you want.

violet: !

violet: father, I didn’t want you to –

lemony: it wasn’t your call to make, violet.

violet: but it was yours about whether or not I get to see my brother? you were only thinking about what you wanted, too!

lemony: ….

violet: ….that was rude of me, i’m sorry.

lemony: no – don’t apologize, violet. please.

violet, still very angry but also just sad and concerned about how lemony has, in the intervening time between these two conversations, said very little: I thought bertrand was nice.

lemony: bertrand – bertrand is very nice.

so they get back home.

lemony: what would you like for dinner?

violet: I don’t think i’m all that hungry, father.

lemony: no, neither am I.

and lemony just sort of, wanders into the library with his hands in his pockets, because he’s somehow more miserable than he’s been in quite some time, and he’s expecting to just sit around and stare at his typewriter and not get anything done for the rest of the night or really for the foreseeable future, and the library is filled with so many books and so much stuff but it feels so empty to him now, and lemony himself feels empty and horrible about everything and he just stares at the floor without really seeing anything at all

AND THEN

klaus, sitting in one of the library chairs: father, did you know that the concorde gets you here in half the time?

[I just kept the line. I thought long and hard and could not for the life of me think of any other jazzy lil line.] [although yes sadly the concorde no longer exists]

[hey, if lemony and violet are here, and kit and dewey and bernadette were with them on the plane, who’s driving the bus who let bea and bertrand in the house???? cause in the movie it’s gotta be the grandfather

jacques, who had stopped at lemony’s house hoping that he could catch them before the flight but obviously not catching them, who stayed to water the plants: /exiting the house

beatrice, careening out of a taxi: JACQUES HOLD THE DOOR

jacques: !!!! beatrice?? what are you –

bertrand: we’ll have to tell you later, there’s no time!

jacques: bertrand????

klaus really only has time to wave.

all three of them: /BOLT PAST JACQUES INTO THE HOUSE AND SLAM THE DOOR SHUT, leaving jacques out there in the street

jacques: ……….]

anyway

lemony, STUNNED: klaus?

violet, dashing into the room because she heard her brother: klaus!

klaus: ideally we would’ve figured this out before you left, but when you did, we were not completely happy about it.

lemony, still trying to collect himself: you –

and there’s bea and bertrand, standing there, real as anything! really there!! in his library!!

and lemony walks towards them, because this isn’t a matter of, chasing anyone, it’s all of them coming together like this

beatrice: this is gonna work. the three of us, this is gonna work.

beatrice: what do you think?

and the thing. about lemony. is that what he wants more than anything else in this whole fucking world. is a family. particularly in canon, being separated from (reasonably dead) parents and growing apart from his siblings and losing those connections to people, he so desperately wants something that’s his and his own and that he can keep stable by himself

and I think he still feels that way even in whatever fucking world of an au this is, and of course he wants to be with bea and bertrand and to have klaus and violet because he loves them but he is also massively craving that stability of having his own family and like really having it this time, not fucking it up because he’s young and stupid and just as impulsive as bea

THE POINT IS THIS IS A LOT FOR HIM, OKAY, THIS MEANS SO MUCH, to get this!! second chance at all the things he totally fucked up before, PLUS the loves of his life!!!!

and like!!! there’s bertrand. there’s bertrand!!! standing there and reaching out to take lemony’s hand and lemony takes bea’s and bea takes bertrand’s other one and. the road they had to take to get here wasn’t. the best. all the time. they all made mistakes. some. worse than others. and this isn’t the end, right here, there’s still gonna be things they have to work out. and it’s gonna be okay because there’s beatrice and bertrand and lemony. they’re in the same room and no one’s scared.

lemony: yes.

beatrice: yes???

bertrand: yes?

lemony: yes.

there’s a lot of good hugging, people are kissed, comments are made about chapstick flavors, lots of laughter, violet and klaus are tearing up and thrilled beyond belief, everything is beautiful!!!!!

klaus: I can’t believe –

violet: – we actually did it!

and, of course, beatrice was right. about everything.

the following amount of time is filled with –

-lots of arguments.

-mostly between bea and lemony.

-although bertrand has his fair share of arguments with both of them.

-violet and klaus don’t speak to each other for two weeks under the pretense of disagreeing about a book’s theme but really because they’re not sure how to act around each other now that they’re both there, they’ve lived their whole lives as only children and this is what they wanted but it’s also something they didn’t think about having to adjust to

-there’s also this immediate reluctance to listen to anything bea and lemony tell them because they have to get used to parents now, too

-parents who aren’t currently super functioning as parents

-there’s a lot of second-guessing people’s intentions

-why did you say that?? the hell does that eyebrow mean???? you picked that song for a REASON and fuck you for that!!!! you don’t trust me to drive, do you???? I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A SANDWICH FOR MY CHILD THANK YOU VERY MUCH

-that sort of thing.

-in varying shades of seriousness.

-i know it sounds mostly like just bea screaming there but trust me the sentiment is shared by all of them in various ways and actions

-they don’t do it in front of violet and klaus though

-NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE NOW, do they stay in england or all go to california??? do they go somewhere else???????? what even (I don’t even know)

-(they probably do stay in england though. that’s what I was picturing while writing this.)

-violet and klaus do adjust to no longer being only children and realizing they have someone their age to rely on now who understands them

-they make blanket forts where violet designs these stands that will hold books up and periodically turn the page so they can lay on their backs and read and not worry about moving

-klaus reads up on inventors so he and violet can talk about them

-they argue with bea and lemony a little about weird things because violet and klaus are trying to figure out where they are with their parents now and how they’re supposed to act and bea and lemony are trying to figure out how to coordinate parenting while wanting to kill each other

-they institute family game night and try to best each other in cards or scrabble because they can handle that

-bertrand, of course, is in a very awkward position at this time

-like he’s around but he can’t take sides because that’s Weird and he’s not that kind of person anyway, and he wants to be there but he doesn’t quite know as what

-like, he was gonna marry bea!! and now he’s not. and he loves lemony!!! but he can’t do anything about it because bea and lemony have problems to work out!!! and bertrand loves both of them!! and they love him!!! they know they do!! he knows they do!!!!! but everything is very uncomfortable!!!

-like, bertrand needs to be on equal footing in this relationship too!

-he hangs out with dewey a lot and they become Poetry Buds again

-he participates in family game night

-bea and lemony are worried that bertrand is only going to see himself as like a peacemaker between them when he isn’t because he never has been and realizing that bertrand is a huge official permanent part of their lives now is a big thing for them

-hi, my name’s lulu and writing the navigation of relationships is hard!!!! it’s so fucking hard

-the three of them watch movies wednesday nights – bertrand picks the movies and he picks these really sweet romantic ones (cause that’s just the kind of movies he likes!!!) and it’s unbearably great

-they mean to watch the thin man movies (the ones with nick charles aka william powell aka the guy lemony and bea would both fuck if they had had the opportunity) over a series of weeks but wind up marathoning all six of them one night (and it takes all night)

-none of them can function the next day

-bertrand: I get it. i’d do it with nick charles, too.

-beatrice sings herself hoarse during a play rehearsal and can’t talk for a week

-she can’t sleep one night and lemony finds her in the kitchen and makes them both tea and they salute each other with the mugs

-bertrand takes up writing limericks and leaves them around the house and lemony finds one in the shower and slips from laughing so hard

-bertrand, in the hospital: I could’ve killed you with poetry

lemony: I mean, all things considered, it’s not the worst way to go. it’s better than next to a pile of books I was meaning to read, which I always thought to be much more likely. slipping in the shower because of a charming limerick about shoes? it’s not all that bad.

bertrand: I don’t know whether to take the compliment or be worried about how you’ve considered how you’re likely to die. please don’t die.

-beatrice shows up at the hospital and throws the stuffed animal from carnival night at lemony

lemony: oh, you didn’t have to give me your….ah….

bertrand: ….moose? have we guessed moose?

beatrice: the ears……….

-things get, better

-they take turns picking up the kids from school

-some kid: gee violet how come your mom lets you have two dads

violet: just lucky, I guess

-lemony helps beatrice rehearse her lines and they straight-up make out for an hour instead

-lemony and bertrand make dessert once a week and routinely end up covered in flour

-there is a household debate on ‘what species is the stuffed animal’ and ‘what are we going to name it,’ moderated by kit

-violet puts on a one-woman play that she and klaus wrote about hedy lamarr for her school’s talent show and receives a standing ovation

-lemony and bea and bertrand are in the front row and beatrice is full-on sobbing during the standing ovation

-they get bertrand a new record player for his birthday and all three of them dance to his records the whole night

-yes they ARE all falling in love with each other all over again it is very important to me that they’re all on the same page when they do that

-violet and klaus make bertrand a ‘best additional parent’ mug because they don’t quite know what to call him (they haven’t figured it out yet), like violet makes him a fucking mug in her glassblowing class (you ever seen someone glassblow a mug??? it’s great.) and klaus does this beautiful calligraphy label for it

-bertrand cries immediately, for the next hour of his life, and just carries it around because he doesn’t know where to put it

-beatrice: aww, that was so sweet of you two, to make – does that say ‘additional parent’

lemony: I believe it says ‘additional parent.’

violet: we did also consider ‘greatest poet’ but that had less of the feeling we wanted.

klaus: we do realize that ‘best’ is truly an unquantifiable concept, because there’s no one out there ranking parents, but we thought it was the most fitting.

it’s after that that they all decide to get married.

later on, sunny is born!! and she’s very upset she missed out on all these shenanigans.

[jacques comes back to find so many people in his brother’s house.

kit: well jacques, you really should be home more

lemony: yes, find a nice person

lemony: …...or two

kit: settle down, stop looking so surprised.

lemony: kit your daughter just leapt off the bookshelf and tackled my husband

kit: and am I surprised? no.]

[also jacques does not buy his sister a nice new set of engraved fountain pens.

kit: so did you get me a souvenir or not, jacques

jacques: souvenir? I thought you said

kit: JACQUES WE ARE ADULTS DON’T YOU DARE BEETHOVEN ME

jacques: edward lear

jacques: here’s this book of delightful nonsense poetry.

kit: how could you]

[while bea is pregnant with sunny –

bertrand: what about sunny?

lemony: bertrand baudelaire.

lemony: you come into my house.

lemony: you marry my wife.

beatrice, across the room: I married both of you???

lemony: and you have the audacity.

lemony: to suggest we name our daughter after our high school drama teacher.

bertrand: okay but your reaction isn’t necessarily a no]

[fremedon]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @everyonewasabird​. Thanks for tagging me!

Name: ellen_fremedon on AO3

Fandoms: For the moment, though I’m still reading here and there in other fandoms, I’m very intensely monofannish about Les Miserables; I don’t think I’ve been this deeply ensconced in a single fandom since my Harry Potter days.

Where you post: AO3.

Most popular one-shot: I am confused at the distinction being drawn between one-shots and multichapter works; in my vocabulary, a one-shot is a self-contained story with no sequels, regardless of whether it’s chaptered.

In any case, my most popular non-chaptered one-shot, going by kudos, is “Twenty-Year Man,” a novella-length Ivan/Byerly (Vorkosigan Saga) fic featuring urban planning and electoral shenanigans. 

Going by hits, my most popular fic is “A Place to Lie Down,” my Amis de l’ABC sex pollen fic, but that’s not actually a one-shot anymore, because I’m working on a sequel :D.

Most popular multi-chapter: I don’t post a lot of chaptered fic, but my favorite, and the most popular both by hits and kudos, is “The Scourge of Trion,” a novel-length Doctor Who story featuring the Fifth Doctor’s companion Turlough (and also Ten, Five, Eight, Sarah Jane, Martha, Jack, and some cameos and surprises). It’s ten years old and has been jossed on every front, but I’m still very proud of it.

Favourite story I’ve written so far: I’m terrible at picking favorites--and if I were to pick a top ten, the ones listed above would all be in it. But I think if I were to pick one story that best sums up me as a writer, it might be “Need to Know,” a crossover about Jack Harkness seducing Naraht, the Horta ensign from Diane Duane’s Star Trek novels, and featuring a lot of silicon-based gastronomy, temporal espionage, and curling.

Fic you were nervous to post: All of them? Who are you people out here posting fic without getting nervous, and how does that work?

How do you choose your titles: With extreme difficulty. I really envy people who can write good titles; mine are almost all very boring.

Do you outline: I do. My outline is usually a separate, combined outline and notes document where I write a precis of the story in a different tense or voice than the one the story is in. I chuck research findings and links and brainstorming into the relevant sections, and as I tick things off in the draft I usually shrink or grey out the font on those sections of the outline. I don’t usually start dividing the outline into scenes until I’m a good way into the actual draft and need to figure out which things I haven’t covered and still need to. But the “outline” itself is extremely vague and leaves a lot of room for discovery.

Complete: Everything. I have never posted an unfinished work and I can barely conceive of the chutzpah it would take to do so. Seriously how the fuck does that work--I’m a pretty linear writer, but even so, how do you know you’re not going to have an idea in chapter 20 that you have to go back and seed in chapter 2?

(That said, the novel-length Les Mis fic I have in progress is so long that, though I still can’t see myself posting chapter by chapter, I almost certainly will post the five parts as they’re complete. If they are ever complete.)

In progress: Right now, just the two Les Mis fics. The as-yet-untitled sequel to “A Place to Lie Down” is probably going to come in somewhere between 20K and 30K words--it’s at about 12K now. It’s gen, mostly, Combeferre POV and covering the week after the Trois Glorieuses.

And the novel-length one is...hoo boy. The draft of Part 1 is over 56K words, with two chapters still needing to be interpolated and the whole first half needing revisions that will probably add another 5-10K words. It is probably going to be around 75K by the time it’s done. (That is 75K before we get to meet Valjean! THREE TIMES AS LONG as it takes HUGO to introduce him in the Brick! It is a Valjean/Javert slow burn in the way that the Centralia fire is a slow burn.) And that’s Part 1 of 5. Part 3 is probably going to be shorter, but the whole thing, if I ever finish it, is probably going to run about 350K.

Coming soon/not yet started: My Yuletide fic, lol. I need to set everything else aside and work on that, like, now.

Prompts: I like them? I’ve written some good things to them? I love exchange fests--this Yuletide will be my seventeenth, which is terrifying. I have done it every year except the first one.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: So. The one that I’m most convinced will be good is the "A Place to Lie Down” sequel, which I am definitely looking forward to finishing and posting. But the one I’m most excited about is the enormous novel--everyone I’ve talked to about it has called it my Time Agents AU, but it is actually canon-compliant! Everyone who is dead in canon still dies; it’s just that some of them are subsequently revived by the Time Agency, given training and a lot of therapy, and sent on deep-cover temporal ops. It has Hitchcock chase scenes, a black box macguffin, ontological casualty reports, art forgery, movie night in the secret subterranean base, cyborg Antonie Lavoisier, the Chevalier Saint-George, ivory-billed woodpeckers, an extended Canadian shack interlude, the mid-Lent crowning of the Queen of Laundresses, one slow burn romance, one intermittent dumpster fire romance, and a Latin pun about chickens in Part 5 that is honestly half of my motivation for getting to the ending. No-pressure tagging @white-throated-packrat, @petralemaitre, @dsudis, and @nonasuch (and anyone else who’d like to run with it).

[the-nerdnextdoor]

first line game

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns, and choose your favorite opening line! tag 10 of your favorite authors! (omg I only know like two authors that I follow on here so @seasidewriter1-writes you are my one and only tag lmao hi)

@songbvrd this is the first time I've ever been tagged in something like this and it honestly made me so happy (may or may not have teared up) that u thought of me, I'm so touched thank you!!!

I have 11 stories spanning from this year all the way back to 2013 and some of them I just... I was young, okay? and not very good at the writing shtick (not that I'm much better now, but hey). I'll turn it around by adding lines from future WIPs I've got lurking in my Google Docs lol. 

Beauty is in the Details - Sterek (Teen Wolf) - 8k - 02/2021

Stiles has never really been much of an art-lover, so to speak.

Deaton’s Dream Beans - Sterek (Teen Wolf) - 64k - 11/2020-02/2021

Derek Hale has a lot of time for Vernon Boyd. 

Finding One-Shots - Peter Parker/OC (MCU) - 10k - 05/2020-ongoing

Mikaela hands the cash over the counter to the man, giving him a small smile before she takes the pizza boxes and squeezes down the line of waiting customers to exit the pizza joint.

Untethered - Jessica Jones/Tony Stark (MCU) - 66k - 05/2020-ongoing

She should really have every lightbulb in her small apartment switched on and glaring, since the darkness always seems to press in around her, hiding black eyes and soft-spoken words.

Finding Home - Peter Parker/OC (MCU) - 237k - 04/2018-05/2020

They had put a bag over her head when they’d jumped her. 

Siblings, Secrets, and Suspicions - Jenko/OC (21 Jump Street) - 20k - 12/2014-02/2017

I managed to sweet-talk my way into getting let out of work three hours early tonight, just to make sure I’m around if my brother decides high school parties aren’t as cool as they’re made out to be on television.

Of Fragile Souls - Alex Summers/OC (X-Men) - 58k - 06/2014-01/2018

His coat of white should have meant that he was the embodiment of peace, of innocence and purity and everything good in this world, but he contradicted that in any and every way he could.

The Phoenix and The Riddler - Riddler/OC (DC) - 3k - 10/2013

“D’you know where Bruce Wayne is hiding out?” I asked Selina, scratching one of her many cats’ heads.

A Forgotten Enemy - One Ring POV (Lord of the Rings) - 1k - 08/2013

I have discovered that time passes excruciatingly slowly when you lie, forgotten by all who once feared you, on an unknown riverbed.

Emberling - Legolas/OC (Lord of the Rings) - 58k - 07/2013-hiatus

Stars, the eldest of all beings belonging to the world of Middle Earth, and any other world existing.

The Phoenix - Riddler/OC (DC) - 39k - 05/2013-08/2013

“Patient interview number one. Patient’s name is Kenna Fyrian.”

Okay now it’s time for future WIPs so I can change the subject from those ooold fics I am cringing over after glancing in their direction lmao.

An Unstoppable Force and an Immovable Object - Thiam (Teen Wolf) - TBD

I'm not the bad guy, he had told Stiles.

Untitled Fic - Derek/OC (Teen Wolf) - TBD (won’t be the first line, but it’s all I have)

Ava’s eyes squint with wary suspicion as she hops down from her truck, pebbles skittering under her sneakers when she hits the ground.

Untitled Fic - Poe/OC (Star Wars) - TBD (no idea if this will be the first line, but it’s all I have)

The world is a bleak grey, from the soil to the buildings to the sky.

Untitled Fic - Griffin/OC (Jumper) - TBD

“Motherfuck-” Danny splutters through the blood pouring into her mouth, arms pumping as her feet thunder down the corridor.

Untitled Fic - OC (Umbrella Academy) - TBD

When Eliana was young, Luther would always insist she stand somewhere near the fire extinguishers positioned strategically within each room of the colossal mansion.

Thunder and Lightning - Arthur Morgan/OC (Red Dead Redemption 2) - TBD

Josephine crouches behind a large stone, one knee pressing into the soil, the damp earth slowly soaking into the material of her pants.

Untitled Fic - Jack/OC (Supernatural) - TBD

Vivian slows the car to a stop and turns the engine off, exhaling shakily.

Untitled Fic - Edmund/OC (Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian) - TBD

Arianna leans her back against the foot of the bed, one knee bent to support her elbow, the other leg stretched lazily in front of her.

and that’s all the ones that have any drabbles written for them! any others are just like vague bullet points at the moment. 

I think the only kind of patterns I was aware of, looking back at these fics, is that my older ones when I first started out were mostly written in first person, and then from Finding Home-onwards I switched to third person. for some reason the first person stuff makes me especially cringy now. there’s a decent mix of short and long sentences, some dialogue thrown in, some names introduced straight off the bat, but I kinda like that I’m not doing the same thing over and over.

as for picking a favourite, uft.. Untethered is one I'm quite proud of, and that chapter kind of wrote itself one day when I was feeling particularly down and needing to distract myself, so it means something to me. Finding Home is my longest fic to date and is one that I hold very close to my heart, despite there being parts that I wish I'd done differently and stuff. Untitled Jumper Fic is hopefully going to be quite a fun one, when I eventually get round to it; what I’ve characterised so far for Danny I really like, so I’m looking forward to that one. An Unstoppable Force and an Immovable Object is another one that I’m excited for and super eager to get started on, but I’m holding myself back so I can concentrate on Untethered. Oh and then the Untitled Teen Wolf Fic is another one I keep having waves of inspiration for and I keep just noting it down in bullet points or writing drabbles and then tearing my attention back to my actual WIP.

the end?

[q00kies]

00Q fic rec list

So, those are my favorite 00Q fics and I thought I might make a list of them ! Most of these include pining and emotional constipation on some level.

The favorites

Sigh No More, by dhampir72 rating : T  words : 20K

Bond wants nothing more than for someone, just once, to be waiting for him at the airport when he returns home. 

My favorite. The characterization is beautiful and gives depth to a damaged, vulnerable James Bond. “Do you want me to arrange a car for you?” Q asks. “I want you to come get me,” Bond says. [...] Q says: “Okay.”

come a lily, come a lilac, by pdameron rating : T warning : AU - flower shop words : 8K

"Most people just pick whatever flower they think is prettiest. It doesn’t require a lot of input from me.” The man walks up to Q, leaning against the counter between them. “Well then, what can I do to get your input?” (In which Q runs a flower shop, and his newest regular is almost definitely a spy.)

This fic features all the good tropes : violent mutual pining, misunderstandings, mild angst, fluff, humor. The characterizations and banter are excellent. pdameron is my favorite 00Q writer, you should read everything they’ve written. 

Ordinary Numbers, by Bootsnblossom, Kyptaria rating : T warning : AU - different first meeting, AU - Q is not Q yet words : 44K

More than anything, Mike Taylor wanted to be ordinary. Being a genius, he learned early in life, meant people expected too much. A career at the MI6 Help Desk seemed the perfect way to guarantee a lifetime of obscurity, until he got a very unusual tech support call.

Excellent plot and detailed writing. Such a worthy and satisfying read.

Ulysses, by girlbookwrm rating : T words : 89K

“Paperwork for the new head of Q-Branch,” Tanner said.“Of course.” The words were like glass in his throat. Smoke inhalation was a bitch. His brain felt slow and foggy, like it was full of smoke too. “Who shall I take them to?”M lifted one white brow. “They’re for you, Quartermaster.”Bond and Q are drawn together by names, work, and a certain Aston Martin. In which Q is kidnapped once, Bond is poisoned twice, and Eve is a badass on at least three occasions. AKA that time I tripped and wrote 80,000 words of 00Q.All titles unapologetically stolen from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

This also features all the good tropes imaginable. Like, everything you need. Delicious read. Brillant writing. Dialogues and narration were clever. Beginning is Skyfall and Spectre rewrite but don’t let that deter you, it only lasts for 2 chapters or so and it’s well done.

Long-ride / slow-burn

Lay it down, by damphir72 rating : M words : 81K

Bond and Q agreed: their relationship was nothing more than physical. Until it suddenly isn't.

sick fic. Bond takes care of Q. Similar to Where You Are, with such dedication and softness and love. 

Nodus Tollens, by Only_1_Truth rating : T words : 88K

Nodus Tollens: the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore Q's life at the technical help department of MI6 was decently quiet and paid reasonably well - it even gave him vacation time, although he rarely used it. So when Q was finally coaxed to leave work for a bit and relax, he thought that Paris might be fun. Of course, that was before the gunfight, witnessing a shooting, and being kidnapped by a strange, blue-eyed gunman named James Bond.

Yours, J, by swtalmnd rating : E words : 39K

Bond sends letters. Q is vexed. Q-branch starts a betting pool. There are an appalling amount of sweets. Also, 002 is a bit of an arse.

haven’t finished this one yet but recing it because it’s GOOD. pining hell “He was the one person James Bond didn’t want to seduce”. urhhh

Quriosity, by dr_girlfriend rating : E words : 79K

COMPLETE! Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster. Excerpt: "Your prior hotel is no longer secure, I will direct you to a new location. Your luggage has already been transferred. A field agent and medic from the Diréction Générale de la Sécurité d'État will be waiting at the side entrance. I have cleared them both personally." In contrast to his crisp dry English, Q's pronunciation of the French words was fluid and flawless, the throaty tone of the fricatives sending a surprising jolt of awareness straight to Bond's cock — all the more remarkable given his degree of blood loss. "You're wasted on Q-branch, you have the voice for a phone-sex call-in line." The words slipped out of Bond's mouth without forethought, although he had plenty of time to think in the sudden pause that came afterward and stretched on for endless moments. Bond hadn't realized until now how Q was always there, with an immediate reply. In all their banter Q had never before been at a loss for words. Ever.

classic. very in character : the banter, the dynamics. good tropes. 

Humor

Dramatic Arts, by scioscribe rating : T warnings : none words : 2,9K

In which Spectre is actually Bond's poorly written attempt at falsifying a mission report. Q wants a flight simulator, Eve wants more lines, and M wants a drink. Everybody's a critic.

So If You Give, by TheCatOnTheMoon rating : T words : 6,1K

Bond gives Q things because of reasons. Q thinks that Bond completely misses the point.

Hilarous. MI6 works like B99. Q is everyone’s darling.

some guys just can’t hold their arsenic, by pdameron rating : T words : 5,8K

“Motherfucking - goddamn - fucking shit!” “Good lord, Q,” Bond says from behind him with no small amount of amusement. “One would think you’d never been in a quarantine before.”

a lot of pining and them being dumb. hilarous dialogues. the writer writes WELL.

By no Ordinary Means of Communication, by laughtershock rating :  E words : 7,9K

Q can’t help but wonder how, exactly, his life has come to this (The one where Bond discovers post-it notes, Q discovers how not to talk about feelings, and together, they fight crime make things far more complicated than necessary.)

this is here because I love the sex scene in it : Q gets plugged for a meeting.

million dollar question, by skylights rating : G words : 5K

Q doesn’t bend for anything and Q certainly doesn’t break for anyone, especially when it comes to stubborn double-ohs intent on making Q’s life hell, so when Q wakes up on a Saturday morning to 12 new texts from Bond and the incessant ringing of his flat’s doorbell, Q makes sure to bring a gun to answer the door. “Delivery for one…Quabik Quadree?” Q feels the weight of the Glock 19 in the pocket of his dressing gown and sincerely wonders whether to shoot the delivery man or himself. (or, that fic where everyone wants to know Q's name and stupid things happen in the process)

Fluff

A modest proposal, by Tokyo_the_Glaive rating : T words : 3,3K

Or, five times Bond asked Q to marry him, and one time Q beat him to the punchline.

there’s love to be had, by pdameron rating : T words : 1,2K

“I won’t begrudge you your happy ending, Bond. If you want to ride off into the sunset, MI6 won’t stop you,” Mallory says. “But I will say this. If you do walk away, take care with what you leave behind.”

(In which Bond has a bit of an epiphany on the bridge and finds that he can't leave MI6 just yet.)

I don’t take your pleasure for granted, by CatchClaws rating : M words : 6,2K

Q tries to talk himself out of having a crush on James Bond. Bond makes that rather difficult.

In which Bond reads sci-fi books. Well written. Banter is delightful.

please stay, by pinknamjoon rating : T words : 2,7K

Bond keeps flirting with Q while he's on missions, both over the comms and through surveillance cameras, and Q is extremely flustered.

Name on my skin, by the runawaypen rating : G warning : SOULMATES !! words : 900

Everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their skin. And Q can't help but feel excited to learn that the James Bond written on his wrist is one 007. It's a shame James doesn't know Q's real name. Things could have been simpler.

Angst (with happy ending. always)

Remember me, by Jen (ConsultingWriters) rating : T words : 5,6K

Bond has lost his memory. Q has lost his love. "What have I forgotten?” Bond asked; Q watched him, trying to find the James he knew. “Nothing that you won’t work out on your own, if it’s really important,” Q said carefully, before returning every fraction of his attention to the computer in front of him.

dying noises

Loneliness is a disease, by fairyjimjam rating : T words : 9,5K

Q stands up, nearly breathless, and ventures towards the lift. Bond is back. He's back. Back. Back Back Back- "I need a car." Q stops in his tracks. He's not back. No of course he isn't. Q's chest hurts. "Have fun at an automobile shop then," is what slips out of his mouth.

Q is absolutely miserable after Bond’s left and Bond is clueless. Sad pining hell. What’s new. Ending is dubious though. 

just like old times (please, don’t ever change), by Rosslyn rating : T words : 5,1K

Sometimes when Q is alone in his workshop and there is an experiment that needs to be supervised and he can’t go home and he can’t sleep, he watches Bond’s vitals.

canon

as permanent as stone cathedrals, by pdameron rating : T words : 6,0K

Q has been in love for two years, six months, and twelve days when James Bond walks away, leaving him with a bleeding head and a broken heart on a dark and noisy London bridge.

If you didn’t get the hint, yes, go and read everything this author has ever written.

Bittersweet, by dr_girlfriend rating : M words : 14K

The first time Bond flirted with Q, it was purely out of self-defense. The second time Bond flirted with Q was largely manipulation. The third time Bond flirted with Q, he just wanted to feel something. The fourth time Bond flirted with Q was out of sheer boredom.

Somehow, flirting with Q became something of a habit for Bond.

And then, it became something else.

features rejection hmm delicious. ‘Those who love to pursue fleeting forms of pleasure, in the end find only leaves and bitter berries in their hands’

Missed chances, by cherrygoldlove rating : G words : 2,7K

Eve leaned across Q's desk.” Bond has someone!” Q's eyebrow lifted as he sent her a quick look from above his glasses. “He has someone every thirty minutes.” He returned his gaze to the screen and continued to type; “No, not like that! He has someone long term, they're dating!”

misunderstandings, jealous Q, fake relationship, angstish, heartbreak, pining what more ?

Favours, by dhampir72 Rating : T Words : 6,1K

James Bond never looks at Q unless he wants something.

it’s not angst but idk where to put this. pining. 

Omega verse

The two fics below are mpreg-free, don’t feature any consent issues and are full of pining. Alpha!Bond and Omega!Q

A Matter of Convenience, by junetangerine (culuyetille) rating : E words : 19K

‘twas why the whole thing had been sanctioned in the first place: minimal disturbance of the status quo, just a blip in their routine, no consequences. So what if the Quartermaster had had an untimely, dangerous heat and 007 had been the one assigned to see him through it. Both of them knew better than to let anything come of it. (Alpha/Omega dynamics) 

Light omega fic. This is the only omegaverse fic you need to read. Wonderful ! 

Where you are, by dhampir72 rating : E warning : WIP 5/7 chapters BUT chapter 5 can be considered as a satisfying ending. words : 44K

An Omega unable to create life is a creature to be pitied, or at least, that is what society says. Q is fine with it, really. He had never wanted children anyway...and settling down with a mate never truly sounded appealing. So he’s fine with it: being alone, bearing no children. It’s fine.Until it isn’t.

Angsty omega fic. Q is diseased, Bond takes care of him with such dedication and softness and selfless love. I cried. (no tragic ending)

Porn without plot

Gloria in excelsis, by feelslikefire rating : E warning : barebacking words : 3,8K

Q has a dirty secret; Bond has an attraction and now he's got the excuse to act on it. Smut featuring glory hole(s).

glory hole

Resource sharing, by rsadelle rating : E  Warning : dom/sub, Bond/Q/Trevelyan threesome, double-penetration words : 3,4K

Q experiences what it means when James says he and Alec share everything.

[trojansblr]

#FightOn! (05) | OT7 Halloween edition!

Summary: The University of Southern California is a prestigious school - only the best or the richest can attend. That means there will be a lot of spoiled brats. Two groups start colliding and the entire college shift alongside them. What will happen when sparks starts to flow between them? Drama will certainly be there.

Pairing: BTS with -eventually- female characters

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut (in the future), College!au, Interactive!au, Halloween!au

Word Count: 20k UNEDITED

A/N: First things first thank you so much to everyone who patiently waited and sent me nice messages. You guys helped my not so confident ass going hehe :’) also, thank you Ali and Lily for being and unconditional support, even if this piece is a mess. You guys make me feel embraced and secure! Like I said, it’s not perfect and it’s more like a comedy based on the sad life of emo Jungkook  or something than a proper halloween/suspense story, but I tried and had fun in the process! That’s what counts to me. I hope you all like it and also, I’ll be waiting for asks and conspiracy theories on the discord chat hehehe Happy -first part of- Halloween, fam! Love you all very very much. 🖤🎃

P/S: It was hard to insert so many people into one chapter but! to the one’s that didn’t show that much, don’t worry, part 2 coming out soon and you will definitely show more there hehehe and I can assure you guys part two will be even more chaotic. 

The Characters • Day 3 • Day 4 • Day 5

1

USC’s haunting night, which came to an end with a shocking reveal, began with nothing more than an exciting buzz that hovered in the air.

The students were now filling up the campus streets with contagious laughter and thrill. A few lamp poles were shining through this dark afternoon in the fall of 2019, orange pumpkins adorning the entrances of the old buildings, three leaves and skeletons that happened to be hanged around were dancing in the howling wind. It was Halloween night, it was time to trick and be tricked, it was time to pretend to be someone you were not while dancing the night away… you could tell by the way all houses were being left in the dark, that every student residing here waited anxiously for this chance of playing pretend.

A built up silhouette wrapped up in a tight red suit, walked in a fast pace towards the Fluor Tower, nobody to be seen down the gloomy streets since the party was located in the opposite direction. The unforgiving wind made walking a little worse for the boy, his breathing against the mask he was wearing began to feel heavier and warmer but there was no way he would take it off now. His friends needed to see him in full costume, he kept thinking. The boy beneath the mask was Jungkook Jeon. His friends, known to most of the university as the Y Group, were all gathered at Deo and Hyori’s dorm room, waiting for him.

Hyori was the one suggesting the disguise Jungkook was now wearing. A week before this, the boy was still indecisive about what to wear and in one rainy afternoon, while they all ate a cheesy pizza and the rain tumbled endlessly against the window, she suggested him to dress like Spiderman with an obvious glance sent through the other end of the table.

Once he was almost reaching the girls building, he started hearing euphoric chattering close by. Hoseok’s laughter impossible to mistake by somebody else’s.

“I can’t believe he actually did it!” Jungkook heard Hoseok say and immediately the idea of hiding behind a tree and pulling a prank on his friends crossed his mind. That was exactly what he did “That guy is crazy to say at least!” laughter filled the chilly air.

“I never doubted he wasn’t” Hyori added sharply.

“Where’s Jungkook though? Didn’t he say he was like- 5 minutes from here?” The boy’s attention was now fully focused on Deo “I’m going to die if we stay here any longer waiting” the sound of her shoe tapping nervously onto the floor didn’t go unnoticed by the hidden spidey.

“Want my jacket?” Jimin offered “He did say he was a few minutes away? Maybe he met someone?”

“Jungkook is more anti social than I am, I doubt he stopped by with someone-” Hyori started but was quickly interrupted.

“HEY! No I’m not!” he let out by impulse making the group snap their heads towards the direction of the sound. Hoseok’s hands fled to grab Deo’s arm who was near him, his eyes almost popping out. Both girls unable to form a sound, too caught up in the moment.

“Fuck-” Jungkook cursed under his breath once he realized what he did.

“Aaaaish!” Jimin said out loud; adrenaline running through his veins, although he would never admit he got a little scared for a second there.

“Are you serious dude??” Deo said once she saw someone coming from behind a tree, ready to throw some hands at whoever it was. She was dressed like Cher Horowitz from Clueless, the movie, one that Jungkook himself had seen countless times once he was younger. He remember turning on the tv on Sunday afternoons and seeing the actress face over and over again. Deo did a great job, he thought.

“It’s spider man now” he started walking towards his friends, arms coming to the front of him to mimic the superhero spider web shooting action “How do I look?”

“Ya, this guy will never change” Hoseok laughed it out “I was really scared, you- you dumbass” he finished making the younger laugh. Hoseok wasn’t far behind, and the character he had chosen a month before, was on everyone’s opinion, the perfect choice for him. Ace Ventura was spirited and loud in every way Hoseok could be. His clothes were probably arranged by his sister, she loved to dress up her younger brother and Hoseok didn’t mind at all, and his hair… Wow, his hair!

“Imagine if it went like I had planned it to” Jungkook chuckled and reached back to tug into his mask and pull it off. His heavy huff louder now, hair completely messy.

“I could punch you in the face I swear to God!” Deo started but the corners of her mouth were already pulling up.

“Can we go now? After this I feel like somebody else will be lurking in the dark-”

“Eyyyy- It’s halloween but we’re not in a horror movie” Jimin glanced at Hyori feeling creeped out. Of course Jimin wouldn’t waste the opportunity to look cool and laid back this Halloween, and Deo excelled herself making his hair look like Johnny Depp’s in Cry Baby. Hyori on the other hand, decided her costume by fumbling through her whole closet. I’ll go with the easiest but still remarkably costume, she said, and that’s how Ashley Spinelli turned out to be her choice.

“She has a point. Everybody will try to scare us tonight and I’m not ready”

“Let’s just go!” Jimin said pulling Deo and Hyori’s arm at the same time and Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh at how much of scaredy-cats his friends were.

“Wait!!!” Hyori heard Hoseok saying loudly right behind her, and once she turned around to smile at him, vision a little blocked by her mustard beanie, she couldn’t help the goosebumps that went through her body. Something feels eerie, maybe it’s just the fact that we are alone in a dark street, she thought. And shrugging off that feeling, she marched alongside her friends to the party she put most effort so far.

2

Doing his best to keep his posture straight while sitting in bed, Yoongi was feeling rather sleepy having Carolina toy with his hair, the girl trying her best to style it just like Naruto’s. He had been feeling a little lazy the past few weeks but he knew there was zero to no chance of him escaping halloween night, specially because his friends digged the fact they could just dress like some weirdos and pull pranks all night long. If he said he wasn’t going, for sure they would do something stupid and hey, he wasn’t one for refusing free liquor either.

“Why is your hair so damn straight?!” he heard Carolina complain for the thousand time. He said nothing, just kept his eyes closed and opened a cheeky smile. A month before his group started talking about this night - mostly the girl and Taehyung who were already fantasizing about what to wear. Namjoon and Jin quickly followed the lead making jokes on who was similar to what character and what not. Once they inquired him on who would he be for this night he just said the first thing that came to his mind. First because it was an easy costume since it was basically one piece of clothing and also because he wasn’t creative enough to remember anything else, as far as he knew Naruto was the only other guy he would like to be if he had to choose.

“Are you still doing his hair?” Jin came into Carolina’s bedroom with an indignant tone and before she could even answer he was already adding more to his little playful rant “Ya, you need to help me out with the makeup! Namjoon made it look like I had a hole instead of an eye-”

“I’m sorry if I’m no make up artist!!!” they all heard Namjoon say out loud; Yoongi could perfectly picture him sat down on the couch too entertained with his cellphone to even glance up while responding Jin’s comment about his poor artistic abilities.

“Ya” Jin turned around to look at Namjoon; voice deep but in a playful tone “You don’t need to be a makeup artist to know this looks terrible”

“Take those baby wipes over there” Carolina pointed a little package over her desk “And go clean that mess! I’ll do your makeup once I finish Yoongs” she continued spraying hairspray non stop while combing the hair of a now intoxicated boy, who kept coughing like he was really dying.

“I told you not to open your mouth!!” she said more laughing than scolding Yoongi.

“Im- Argh- Impossible!” the taste on his mouth was horrible and for a second he panicked over dying the most ridiculous death. It didn’t help the fact that Jin passed by laughing hysterically only to cough the same way he did once he got closer to the dangerous cloud of spray hovering over Yoongi’s head.

“You should be given permission of the state to use something as toxic as this” Jin said getting out quickly making Carolina laugh and shush him with her famous ‘Go away’. He directed himself to their bathroom to try and remove the damage Namjoon had made on his eye. Jin usually liked a lot what he saw on the mirror, and today wasn’t any different. His hair was combed with gel, he had a nice suit on and personally he thought he did a nice job on gluing Thing - family addams member, or hand, into his suit right shoulder. Gomez Addams was who he chose to be tonight, a classy and fun character, very appropriate for him as Namjoon had pointed out.

“Tcharamm! Howl arrived!”

“Woaah Taehyung, nice job!”

“You like it??”

“What’s going on with that cape?”

“Leave his cape alone, Yoongi, he did good”

“Thank you!”

Jin let out a chuckle, his friends were always nagging one another, not that he wouldn’t do the same with them but normally he would play the mom figure and try do ease the situations.

He looked at himself in the mirror one more time after throwing the used baby wipe in the trash and pushing the bathroom door he made his way to the living room.

“Lady Joker I hope you’re ready for me cause I’m all clean and I’m impatient as well” heads turned to Jin, Taehyung’s previous pout face becoming an excited one now after seeing him.

“Woah!!! Jin! You look just like him!!!”

“You mean handsome?” Jin stated the obvious with his hands on his hips.

“Yes…?” Taehyung replied with a weird confused face making them laugh.

“Lady Joker here is ready, so is everyone else now…” Carolina spared a glance to everyone in the room “… I think. It’s just you now, c’mon” she started pushing Jin back to the bathroom.

“That’s cause he has the easiest character of all” Jin went backwards while Carolina still pushed him; his finger pointed out to Namjoon.

“Being Milo Thatcher requires great effort, like having a brain for example” Namjoon concluded.

“I hope that’s not you calling me dumb” Jin answered back, the sound of it a little muffled since Carolina was closing the bathroom door to avoid any bickering.

“Yeap. He was” Yoongi said quietly; he was sat on the arm of the couch Namjoon was in, his arms crossed and his hair was fully up.

“So! Do you guys think I look good with long hair??” Taehyung said after a minute of entire silence making both boys look at him while he wiggled his head to make his fake hair flow.

After the bathroom door was closed, Jin sat on the faucet while Carolina opened every drawer looking after her black eye shadow and that’s when she heard Jin say “He was calling me dumb wasn’t he? He’ll see. Just- Wow the disrespect” and the way he said it was more than enough for the girl to crack a laughter right on his face.

3

Differently from the chilly outside, the party at Tau Kappa Epsilon was burning hot. The frat committee had pulled a great amount of money and effort this year and everyone that had been to the Halloween party last year could say so the minute they set foot on the entrance. For starters, this year for you to get inside you needed to know the password, which was strategically leaked on the USC gossip blog a week before this.

“Did you find it yet?” Holly asked; she had her arms crossed, the wind too harsh and although she was wearing a red hoodie and a pair of yellow trousers because she was dressed as Winnie the Pooh she couldn’t help but feel cold since she and her group were still outside.

“God, why in all days today had to be this windy?!” Tori said with frustration, tightening her grip on the coat she was wearing “If I hadn’t brought this coat I would be hard as ice right now, I’m telling you” she chuckled, her chin trembling a little since she was feeling cold, the coat doing nothing for her uncovered legs. She had decided with Deo they would go as iconic characters from the 90’s, and of course she chose Vivian Ward from Pretty Woman.  

“Ok I think I got it!”

“You did??” Holly that was a little distracted looking around exclaimed in surprise and quickly scooched up towards Silvia who had been glued on her phone scrolling through USC gossip page to find the code.

“Yeah, I think I did! Look-” Silvia showed them the phone; she was dressed as Simon of Alvin and the chipmunks, her glasses sliding on her nose bridge non-stop while she looked down too focused.

“Nice job, Silvy!”

“Now I only need to wait for Esme and Tessa… I’m sure they are almost here, I mean I called them half an hour ago and they were already on their way” Silvia said looking at her phone again, checking if she had any unread messages.

“I’m sure we can go inside and they meet us there? We could send them a text with the-”

“HEY GIRLS!!” the three of them heard and their attention flew to the newcomers.

“Nina!” Holly exclaimed excited.

“You look amazing guys! Oh my God, I’m so excited for tonight!” Nina said making Cecilia laugh besides her; Nina was dressed as Poison Ivy, her new red hair contrasting greatly with her green outfit. She had some ivy plants complementing her costume and it looked absolutely stunning.

“That’s actually right, she came all the way here talking about it” Cecilia joked; she had chosen to dress up like a sexy racer this year, keeping it simple but hot.

“And you look a bomb as well!” Tori said, giving both girls a quick hug. “Now chop chop girls! Otherwise we’ll get all ruined in this bad wind”

“I’ll send Tessa and Esme a text with the code then- Let’s get going, I’m kind of freezing as well and regretting being a chipmunk without proper pants” Silvia said making them laugh.

The decoration this year was incredibly well done, full of big killer statues, things hanged and detailed paintings on the wall, most probably TKE (Tau Kappa Epsilon) had once again contacted the art students to help with that. Hoseok had already jumped out of his feet ten times at least, too scared of the large Pennywise face he had come across a few times and the many spider webs hanging above everyone’s heads.

“I thought it was you!” Amber laughed when she came besides Hoseok and he jumped in fear… Again. “How are you doing Mister…?”

“Ace Ventura! And ooof- Amber!” He gasped first because he had been scared and now because she was looking really good.

“Hey! You came! Are you alright love? You seem a little startled.” Amber was so happy to see the boy that she talked way too fast making him stare at her with endearing eyes “It’s been a while.”

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss this party for the world! But that Pennywise…” he said pointing at the wall painting, a frown crossing his face “Not cool at all.” he chuckled while turning to her again, his glance lowering a bit now to see her costume more attentively. Amber was wearing a playboy bunny costume, a dress like version of it.

“It’s ok, it’s just a painting. Besides if it wasn’t just a painting, I’d always protect you. Well… I would try.” she giggled making him follow “And tonight will be so much fun, I haven’t really celebrated Halloween in years!”

“I see you already have a drink so now just enjoy the night!” Hoseok said cheekly.

“I do!” she stated quickly looking down, where she had a drink in hands “You should grab one soon too.”

“Jimin went to grab some drinks for us. I’m waiting for mine.” he winked “But what are you most afraid of then? If not Pennywise”

“Probably just… Uh… Spirits” she said finally with a tiny shivering “The unknown too. Maybe just being alone. My fears are very strange.”

“Oh spirits are a no for me too! I try not to believe they exist but I have a fertile imagination!” he said with a panicked face and Amber made a quick note on how cute he could be.

“You look really good by the way… Like I know you aren’t in a sexy outfit, but you look happy and just… You know… You just look great.”

“Thanks Amber! I tried hard to find the clothes to match the movie! But you look great too…“ he offered his heart smile, his eyes genuinely matching his soft expressions.

While Hoseok kept talking to Amber, his friends were close by still waiting for Jimin to come back with something to drink. They had arrived for a while now, but since the place wasn’t that crowded yet, Jungkook managed to find a spot for Deo to sit a little. The girl had been complaining about her shoes choice for some time now but he himself felt like sitting, so that’s what he did. He sat and kept fumbling with his phone while Deo rambled with him (things that he was certainly not listening) and Hyori kept scanning the place after Jimin.

“I hope this party doesn’t suck.” Deo commented a little bored while looking the ambience.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s no one here. My feet already hurt. Jungkook took the only seat available and is staring at his phone with a grin on his dumb face.”

“We got here super early, relax! And just take the damn shoes off, you’re going to in a couple of hours so might as well do it now.” Hyori grinned at her “Is Jack coming?”

“I think so? I didn’t talk to him today yet but he should be here. We bought his costume like- last week so…” Deo wondered; she was answering Hyori but her head was turned at Jungkook’s direction, trying to pry on what he was doing.

“The love birds that text all day didn’t talk today?”

“He texted me this morning but we were dealing with the outfits so I… kinda forgot to text him back? He’s probably just making one of his ‘imma take longer to answer’ games” Deo looked back at her again to roll her eyes.

“Don’t sweat it, he’ll be around.” the older girl patted her shoulder with a warm smile to wrap that convo up.

“So… you’re just gonna ignore the fact that JK is laughing at his phone?”

“We teased him enough about him wanting to be spiderman…” Hyori bit down a smile, exchanging her glance to the boy in question, still entertained and completely absented of what was going on around him.

“True…” Deo concluded but then turned around to do exactly the opposite with what she had just agreed with “Hey dork.” she called and poked him, making him lift his head towards them “Yeah you. What are you doing?”

“Texting.” he said simply.

“Who?” Hyori questioned.

“Have you ever heard of neighbor number?”

“No…?”

“You have one?!” Deo asked the boy while coming closer and feeling a lot more excited.

“Everyone has one.” he rolled his eyes.

“What is that?!”

“It’s the person whose phone number is either the before or after yours. Like, your’s 55 and their’s 56.” Jungkook explained to Hyori but he locked his phone trying to hide his previous conversation.

“Oh… and that’s cool because?”

“Because!!!” Deo exclaimed turning around to look at Hyori.

“It’s just like meeting someone online guys.”

“Oh don’t be an old lady. You’re a recess punk tonight!” Deo retorted making Hyori do a funny face as a response while trying to pry at Jungkook’s phone as well.

“You’re not looking at my texts.” he said defensively while hiding the phone against his chest once more.

“Oh c'mon JK.”

“No.”

“I’m not keeping your phone in my bag then. Good luck spidey.” Deo teased.

“Fine!”

A while ago Jimin had departed quickly from his friends to go fetch something to drink, but on his way he stopped by with many people. He got used to being popular in some way, he didn’t mind the attention at all… What he did mind was the constant people who tried to fake being friends with him just to get “famous”. He was now walking furiously towards the bar, the last conversation with some random guy he thought that was being genuinely nice to him stuck on his head. A small bump followed, his mind too distracted to actually pay attention at his surroundings and the frown that was before on his face quickly disappeared.

“Wow Jean! Sick costume!” he said once the girl in question turned around surprised to see the one that bumped on her was actually a familiar face.

“Really Jimin? Thank you” Jean was dressed as Mikasa from Attack on Titan, an anime Jimin had seen and liked a lot. “I think you look handsome in your costume” she finished with a cute smile while blushing a little.

“I tried my best to look like Cry Baby but Johnny Depp will always win.” he showed his cute laughter while saying it and Jean quickly retorted.

“Don’t say things like that. I think you just being yourself is handsome and a win for everyone including you” as soon as she said it and he was about to smile at her again thankful, the bartender came by and Jimin was quick to tell him his orders. He looked back to see if Jean wanted something but he noticed she was already served. The guy that was attending him, poured a glass of whiskey to Jimin and went to fetch some beers. While he went inside to fetch it Jimin turned again to Jean.

"You came with friends?”

“I did! I’m meeting Holly here!”

“Oh~ she’s Deo’s friend! I didn’t know you two knew each other! Small world huh?” he winked and raised his glass to take a sip of it making Jean laugh.

“Yes, we do. We talk time to time whenever I have time. She is really nice.” she said and Jimin hummed in agreement.

"So, who or what scares you most?”

“What scares me most is bugs especially cockroaches… oh yeah also rats. What about you? Are you scared of anyone or something?”

“I’m trying to keep a brave face tonight so I can’t tell you!” he cutely joked putting his finger to his lips and doing a slight ‘shush’ motion “But it was nice seeing you Jean~ I have to bring these drinks to the sober ones before they fall asleep” he said while pointing with his head towards the beer bottles the bartender had just brought.

“Have fun at the party. Don’t be reckless or get yourself in trouble!” she said loudly when Jimin started walking away with all those drinks in hands, trying to make way, only to turn back again and smile foolish at her and then winking again.

On his way towards his group he spotted Hoseok a little closer than the rest and he moved fast to get the help of the older boy. Jimin was hardly managing to hold all those bottles plus his cup.

“So do I! I overthink way too much.” he heard Amber say enthusiastically to Hoseok and for a moment he felt really sorry to be barging into the conversation.

“Hey guys! Sorry! Help me-” he said quickly and Hoseok took two bottles off his hands. “Oof! I thought I was going to let everything fall” he laughed at his own moment of clumsiness.

“It’s alright! I’ll help you take this to them” Hoseok trailed off and then looked at Amber once again, she still had a smile on her face, their talk before being way too cheerful for her to lose it. “It was really good seeing you!”

“It was good seeing you too. I hope we can hang out again soon, I’ve missed seeing you.”

“Keep that beautiful smile on your face Amber~ I’ll see you around tonight yeah?”

“I will! Thank you! You enjoy it too, and keep safe, ok? Don’t drink too much and drink plenty of water. I’ll see you later on in the party. I’ll probably stay until pretty late.”

“Can’t promise I won’t drink much but I’ll try to stay away from the zombies! Be safe sweetheart~” and there he went, him and Jimin towards their group of friends.

4

“Where’s Yoongi?” Carolina questioned while looking over Jin’s shoulders; her voice louder than expected as the raging song played in the party.

“I don’t know?” Jin looked around too trying to spot Yoongi’s hair among all those costumes “He left quite a while ago… And I doubt he will be able to bring us all something to drink”

The five of them had arrived and the party was already hectic. Yoongi had offered to go to the bar fetch something to drink since he was in the need of something to keep him relaxed and more loose in the middle of all those people. The rest of them stayed in a corner next to the entrance, the less crowded space they could find, but now a lot of time had passed and Carolina was starting to feel anxious.

“Ok, you guys stay here and I’ll go help him out”

“You’re going alone in this sea of people??” Taehyung asked her, whom was already ready to walk away.

“I’ll be fine Tae, just stay here with Nam and Jin. If anything happens I have my phone with me and I can call you. Yoongi is the one without his”

“We’ll wait here. Namjoon won’t be leaving anyways since he’s socializing for what it feels like an hour now” Jin joked looking at the other boy talking enthusiastically to some people from his book club. Carolina spared a glance and smiled at him, and then in a blink of an eye she was already being engulfed by the many costumed students.

She tried her best to make space and go towards the bar, where she was hoping to find Yoongi, but the task was getting complicated. It didn’t help that people were already tipsy and some really drunk. Carolina was starting to feel a little claustrophobic and way too pissed at the people who were pushing and also pulling her. When she was about to shout at some random guy that was trying to make her dance with him, she felt her arm being pulled and her head snapped quickly thinking she had finally reached Yoongi, but no. Someone in an all black costume and a weird baby face mask was pulling her out of there.

At first she offered no resistance, glad she was going to get out of that tumultuous crowd. But after a few seconds of the mysterious person pulling her towards what it seemed like the bathroom area, she pulled back her arm making the person look back.

“Who are you?!” She questioned seeing that the person went for her arm again but she was quick to flinch it’s grasp. “This is not funny!” still, no reaction. She analysed the person standing in front of her; someone taller than her, definitely a male but not a short one. “Ben?” she tried “Dude this is getting creepier.” the man did nothing but to offer his hand to her gently. And although Carolina was feeling a little creeped out she was also starting to get curious about who the costumed guy in front of her might be. So she took his hand, and he took her to the bathroom area.

“Ben if this is you I swear-“ she started but the man she thought was Ben just opened the bathroom door and pushed her inside, locking the door quickly. He himself never entering the space with her.

Carolina bumped hard against something “FUCKING ASSHOLE!!” she exclaimed mad.

“I said the same but he didn’t opened the door… Until now that is” Yoongi’s voice now filling her ears and she turned back in a snap. Turns out the thing she went against was Yoongi and not a wall like she was expecting.

“Yoongs? What are you doing here?”

“I myself don’t know…” he answered returning the hug she gave him.

“Ok! I think I have a plan!” someone said making both of them get out of their transe.

“Oh yeah, Carol this is Sarah. She was already here when I got… here” Yoongi explained simply.

“Umm… I would say nice to meet you but due to the circumstances I think-“

“I perfectly understand and share the feeling!” Sarah quickly interrupted the other girl “Also either we wait for him to open the door again and I don’t know put our foot in the middle of the breach or we stay stuck here”

“Doesn’t seem like a bad plan but I won’t volunteer my foot for the cause”

“Why the hell are we even here???” Carolina questioned “Is it the new trend locking people in the bathroom to socialise or something?” and as soon as she finished it a cell phone started ringing. They all exchanged glances.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t even bring my phone” Yoongi said.

“Well it’s not mine!”

“I think…” Sarah trailed off while going towards the faucet, there was something behind it “Oh” and she retrieved a bag. The sound of the ringtone died and she looked at Yoongi and Carolina who were focused on the paper bag. Not even a second passed and the cell phone started to ring again.

“Oh just give me this” Carolina snatched the bag from Sarah’s hands and quickly opened it, a burner phone now visible and she picked it up. “Who’s this? What? Why would I be enjoying being locked inside a bathroom you weirdo??”

“Who is it?!” Sarah questioned and Carolina lifted a hand for her to wait.

“What game? What are you talking about?” Carolina questioned further “A paper?”

“What is this? This is a stupid prank” Yoongi rambled.

“What- Hey!!!” Carolina exclaimed taking the phone out of her ear and looking at it extremely angry “Asshole!!!”

“What happened?”

“This motherfucker said that the rules were on a paper inside this bathroom and then hanged up!”

“Are you serious now? I just wanted a drink” Yoongi sighed and started pacing around.

“What now?”

“Oh! I have my cellphone!!!” Carolina realised quickly reaching for her pocket of her nurse suit “I’ll call Jin and he can come here an- Fuck.”

“What?!” Sarah exclaimed again and Yoongi glanced at them.

“No reception” Carolina said blankly “I fucking hate this party.” she placed her phone inside her pocket once again and crouched down near the bathroom wall, her hand fast to pick up her pen kept inside the same pocket and started doodling on the wall. The neon light in the bathroom making her feel nauseous.

“I’ll start searching then!” Sarah sighed; the girl was dressed as comfortably as she could. Her costume being Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the chocolate fabric and she mentally thanked herself for choosing something so comfy.

“Are you seriously vandalising the bathroom?” Yoongi asked Carolina; he was leaned against the sink, his arms crossed.

“Yeah”

“I don’t think writing on the wall ‘Babyface sucks’ is going to solve the problem”

“Well I’m unsatisfied with Babyface service! He just pushed me and locked me inside the bathroom! Ugh- I bet it was that fucking asshole…” Carolina started doodling near the words she had just written.

“What asshole? Everyone for you is an asshole”

“Well- That’s a good point. But Jimin. I bet it was Jimin. He must be trying to pay me back ever since-“

“You mean Jimin Park?!” Sarah asked while fumbling through the cabinets that the bathroom had.

“Yeah he-“

“I FOUND IT!!!!” Sarah exclaimed excited and showing them the paper.

“Umm… I guess we are a team?” Sarah looked at them expectantly “And I didn’t brought my phone so…”

“I was going to say no but then I saw the 6.000 cash prize so”

“2000 each Yoongi, not 6000!” Sarah corrected him.

“Still. Carolina?” he looked at the girl in question “I could really use the money to-“

“I know.” she said serious “So we better win this. And I guess I’m the only one with a phone which only unlocks with my fingerprint so I guess it’s fine to leave it behind…” she reluctantly put her phone inside the bag “Also Sarah, if we’re doing this-“

“Yeah?” the girl asked.

“Yoongi already knows me but um… I’m kind of extremely competitive so if I happen to loose my shit-“

“Oh it’s ok! Totally get it!”

“She will lose it. Just saying” Yoongi brushed it off.

“I will”

“OK PLAYERS HERE WE COME!” Sarah instantly became another person and both Yoongi and Carolina exchanged glances a little surprised “OPEN THE DOOR!”

5

“I can’t actually believe we got stuck in a tiny broom closet for 15 minutes just to find a damn paper!” Tori let out laughing; her breathing heavy.

“In my defense my moves were restricted to just being able to lift my arms up” Jason retorted, his face a little red from the lack of air in the confinement.

“That’s true! I was feeling trapped between you-“

“Guys shut up!” Jungkook finally said something; the paper with the rules still in his hands “We have to focus now, I ain’t losing this game”

“Jeez! Ok, ok! We’ll focus” Jason put his hands up in defeat.

“I could really use those speakers bro, I want this prize” Jungkook sighed trying to apologise.

Somehow in the middle of the party Jungkook realised he was left behind with Hyori, both of them clueless of where their friends had gone to. So he eased her mind by saying he was going to look after them quickly. Hyori at the time nodded and kept looking around without leaving their previous spot.

Jungkook went to the bar hopping to find Jimin there but his friend was nowhere to be found. He wandered off to the bathrooms but two of them were locked and the other one was empty. He tried to scream Deo and Hoseok names in hopes that one of them were inside but due to the loud music it was useless. Not shortly after a person passed by and seeing he was fumbling with the door lock, that same person approached him and asked what he was doing. “I’m looking for my friends” was what he simply answered so the mysterious being asked what were they dressed like and after a brief description of their costumes Jungkook was pointed towards a long and gloomy corridor. He didn’t hesitate on going and that’s how he ended up opening the dark broom closet and being pushed inside. To his surprise, Tori and Jason were already there, their breathing too heavy and Jungkook kept thinking he had interrupted something else, but his thoughts were quickly brushed away when a cell phone started ringing.

“To get those speakers you first need to win the prize, Kook, and to do that you’ll need to find those damn three hidden bags” Tori pointed out making him come back to the moment; her arms crossed over her chest.

“Things that scare me most…” Jason wondered.

“AH! The decorations!!!” Jungkook’s face lit up “They must be near the decorations!”

-

Most of the teams were already out of their confinements by now. Some a little hazy and confused, some fully determined to win the prize. What student wouldn’t want to win 2.000 dollars in a night just by playing a Halloween game? It was easy money! And that was exactly what Aashna kept thinking.

When she left her dorm to go to the party that night she would have never expected to be going home again with that large amount of money, and there was nothing that she loved more than to play games, in fact she liked to think that she was good at them.

She got a little confused at first, when she lost herself from Sana and Cara, especially because she had left her phone back into the dorms and due to that she had no way to contact the girls. While she kept waiting for Sana to get ready hours ago, she used it so much that it discharged and it was totally useless to take it. But now, here she was, running around with two other girls she had never seen before trying to get to those bags before anyone else would.

“Guys look!” Nina pointed towards three dark things on the floor near a tree in the backyard of TKE. A few people transiting from one house to the other were passing by but none of them were paying attention to the girls.

“Are those the bags??” Esme asked a little behind from the other two. She was dressed like Theodore from Alvin and the chipmunks and although she was looking adorable her legs were freezing.

The backyard was the last place any rational person would want to go. It was windy today, and not the kind that feels like a nice summer breeze, it was the kind that made you feel the presence of a storm coming. The fact that the place wasn’t illuminated properly didn’t help either. Team 6 could barely see if those things on the floor were the bags they needed or not.

“I can’t believe we found them!” Aashna said coming closer and once she grabbed a loop of one of the bags a grotesque nun showed up behind the tree. Slowly it made it’s way towards the girls. “Holy-“ Aashna took a step back startled, the bag she had taken was now dropped onto the grassy floor.

“OH MY GOD!!!” Esme that had just being able to catch up with both of them sprinted back the moment she saw the dark presence, going back to where she had came. She didn’t even took a second glance.

The nun kept slowly walking forward. Aashna at the same time walked back. It’s yellow eyes focused on her and her breathing started to match her heart race. Her chest going up and down really fast.

“Push it, Khaleesi!!!” Nina shouted at her making her snap out of the transe. Both of them could hear a faint scream in the back but it was being blocked by their own heartbeats drumming on their ears. Adrenaline kicking in. Nina kept shouting ‘Khaleesi’ at Aashna, the fearful creature making her forget her teammate’s real name.

On the confusion of it, Aashna did in fact push back the nun, but the result wasn’t the expected. It didn’t move. Not even an inch.

“I GOT IT!! RUN!!!!” Nina passed by her with one bag on her back and two on her hands; her costume making it easier for her to sprint, contrary to Aashna’s.

The girl didn’t think twice. The moment the scary image before her started to lurk forward again, she stumbled two steps back and turned around to run. A hand grabbed her arm making her come to a halt. Aashna screamed and yanked her arm back. Free at last she ran towards Nina and Esme. Her mind not functioning properly. She could see her teammates shouting and making exaggerated moves for her to go to them but she could hear nothing. It was like a slow motion scene of her worst nightmare.

-

Hoseok thought he had been scared enough since he got to the party but now he was more than terrified. He was walking with Cole and Asa, two guys he had just met due to a bad joke and he couldn’t help being alert all the time. Cole was leading both him and Asa and they were looking for the so called bags inside the TKE frat house.

“I’m sure they hid it here, I mean- it’s just the perfect place, not a lot of people will come inside the house when there’s an actual party going on” he heard Cole’s voice more clearly now, the loud music sounded distant; the boy was still facing forward, leading them into a big hallway.

“Yeah but it said it was near what we fear most?” Asa pondered while looking attentive to a photo hanged on the wall “I don’t know about you guys but I’m not afraid of a frat house… As much gross as they can be” he frowned seeing one guy almost naked on that same photo.

The corridor they were now in was narrow so they lined up, Cole going in the front and Asa in the back. The wall on their left had some pictures of the boys of TKE while the wall on their right was mainly filled with big windows. That didn’t mean the place was lighten up, the whole house was dark. Things were visible due to the windows, the boys could see each other’s figures and what surrounded them because of the moonlight, but other than that there was no other form of light.

“Uoooh uoh what was that?!” Hoseok freaked out and fumbled back making Cole giggle.

“It’s just a glimpse of a light dude” Asa calmed him down while catching him and pulling him forward gently.

“I- I think I’m afraid of the dark” Hoseok admitted.

“It’s ok”

“And I’m afraid of being alone” Cole said sarcastically “So that’s why this is the perfect place to hide the bags because it’s both dark and has zero people in it. Genius ain’t I?” and he turned back to face the other two.

Hoseok’s face went pale. Asa’s blue eyes became big. Cole felt a puff of air into his neck and he tensed.

“For the first time in my life I just hope I’m ugly and that’s the reason you guys are doing those faces” he said; his body frozen and his mind in denial, he didn’t want to turn back.

“Boo” something grunted right behind him making his body tremble. Hoseok screamed and fell back into Asa who screamed as well and fumbled backwards, his eyes never leaving the amorphous creature upon them. His big hands clumsily trying to find support on the walls. Hoseok that fell on his butt quickly got up only to turn around just to stumble onto Asa once again.

Cole finally turned back and for a second he wished he didn’t. His voice stuck on his throat, eyes fixed on the sinister scarecrow right in front of him.

“G-Givee meee yourrr heeaaart” the creature grunted once more. Cole finally got a grip of himself and pushed the haunting scarecrow back, running right past him.

“ASA!! THE BAGS!” he screamt after stumbling on something and realising it was what they were looking for.

“FORGET THE BAAAAGS! AAAAH” Asa’s voice was trembling and between trying to help Hoseok who kept falling and running away from the creature who was going after the two he managed to scream back at Cole “FUCK YOU GO AWAY!!!”

“WOOOAHHH!!! WOAA”

“I got this, I got this” Cole kept mumbling to himself while scanning the place. He had very few options. The scarecrow had it’s back turned to him but the corridor was too narrow for him to pass by it without something happening. So he looked at the window right onto his left and let his body take the lead.

Cole’s hands were shaking a bit due to the heat of the moment. He fiddled with the window lock for a little but once he unlocked it a huge smile opened on his face.

“COLEEE?”

“I- Wait a sec! I got this!!!!” he answered while quickly glancing at his teammates and then back at the task in front of him. The window was a little rusty but he managed to open it fully so he threw both bags down. “GUYS! JUST RUN! MEET ME DOWN ON THE LAWN”

“COLE WHAT?!” Asa who was pushing continually the scarecrow back asked. Hoseok was glued to the wall screaming nonstop.

“JUST RUN AWAY! I’LL JUMP” Once he said this the scarecrow turned back. Cole was already sitting in the window. “GO! NOW!” he reassured his teammates again and Asa took the lead grabbing Hoseok by his shirt and running as fast as he could. The dreadful creature fastened it’s pace towards Cole. The boy smiled before jumping.

-

“Did we really need to choose the dark basement as our place to search?” Jin asked while he looked to the stairs that led to the dim place over Sana’s shoulders. His hands were gripping her arms and keeping her in place as a shield. “I feel like there’s definitely something there but it’s not the bags.” he laughed nervously.

“Yeah… I don’t feel like this is a good idea, Jeremy” Sana pondered, her eyes on the same spot Jin’s were.

“Fine then, you two stay here and I’ll go.”

“Great plan!” Jin offered him a quick thumbs up and his hands were back on Sana’s arm making the girl sigh but also let out a small giggle.

“It’s not a great plan” she said making Jeremy retrieve his foot of the first step to look back at her “If something happens to you, it’s only me and Jin”

“Not offended”

“Guys this is a Halloween game” Jeremy said laughing at their faces “The scariest shit that can happen is someone yelling at our ears and that’s it”

“Fine then, go” she brushed off. Jeremy rolled his eyes and turned front again, the darkened stairs making everything creepier. A second passed and he didn’t move. Another one and nothing. “So… Are you going or…?” Sana looked from him to the stairs again.

“I’m going! I’m going! It’s just- dark that’s all. I have no flashlight and I was trying to get my eyes used to it and-”

“You know there’s a light switch right there right?” Jin pointed to the wall next to them.

“Wha- Jin!!!!” Sana turned back giving him a soft slap “You could’ve told us that sooner!”

“Well sorry! I didn’t think he would go into the dark!”

While both of them kept quirreling Jeremy flicked the light switch in a flash tired of losing time, after all he had a game to win. But as soon as the lights were turned on two things came on focus, the bags near the third step and Freddy Krueger right at the bottom starting to climb up to get to them.

“Run-” Jeremy said lowly still paralysed watching the killer move himself “RUN!!!” that’s when Jin and Sana stopped arguing and looked back at him and what was going on. As soon as Freddy entered Jin’s vision, the boy screamt and started running backwards, looking every direction he could too afraid that more frightening creatures would appear. His loud voice echoing without coming to a stop.

Jeremy quickly pulled the bags towards him and turned around to run, passing one bag fast to Sana who was even faster to turn around and run towards the first floor as well but not before taking a box of washing powder left near the washing machine she passed by and throwing it back to hit the burnt face that tormented her so much.

-

Acute clinking sounds filled the air along with tree leaves dancing in the maddening wind. Jungkook and his team were sat on the porch of a neighbour house of TKE, the bags already retrieved and now alight right in front of each of them.

Tori kept trying to align her hair strands that kept swinging in front of her face while Jason kept fumbling with a walkie talkie he had just found on his own backpack. Inside each backpack they found a piece of paper with the same clue written on it, a little flashlight, a map of the campus, a walkie talkie and an almost realistic human finger with a tag on it that said one point for you player!

“This wind is making me stressed!” Tori let out with a sigh. Jason spared her a glance but kept pushing the buttons without really knowing what they did.

“That guy dressed as Chucky was pretty heavy” Jason mused “Don’t you think, bro?” he looked over Jungkook who was really quiet while reading over and over again the clue he found inside the backpack with furrowed eyebrows, deep in thoughts.

“Don’t you think bro??” Jason tried again.

“Uh?”

“Lost much, Kook?” Tori laughed.

“What are we supposed to do with this information?” Jungkook asked frustrated to his team “Wet blue? What is that?? There’s no such color”

“I’m sure we still have time, man, don’t stress it” Jason tried to cheer him up “I’m sure we were the first ones finding the bags plus we each have one point finger” he laughed while holding his gifted finger up.

“Yeah” he sighed “You’re probably right” Jungkook swept his bangs back. By now he was sure his hair was a mess, but he didn’t care much.

“Umm..” Tori began, her eyes following the movement of something way ahead of them “Not trying to break the lovely moment but I guess we are second place”

“We what?” Jungkook lifted his eyes from the paper he wouldn’t stop reading to see where Tori’s eyes were focused at and to his despair Yoongi and Carolina, alongside some blonde girl, were walking in a fast pace towards somewhere. They all had a backpack and the blonde girl was explaining something to them in a enthusiastic way. Jungkook tried his best to overhear what they were talking about, shushing Jason when he tried to say something along the lines of ‘don’t worry bro, we still got this’.

“Are you sure that’s the place?” he heard Yoongi ask lazily “I ain’t walking all the way over there for nothing”

“It’s there Yoongs, just stop being a grandpa, do you want the two thousand or not?” Carolina joked and Jungkook instantly got up.

“HEY!” Jungkook shouted “YOONGI”

“Kook what are you doing?” Tori asked alarmed.

“You heard this?”

“I think it was someone calling your name” the blonde girl said to Yoongi while looking around.

“YOONGI!! HERE!” Jungkook stepped forward.

“Who’s there?” Jungkook saw Yoongi stop and squint his eyes in his direction, he knew the older guy had a bad vision. “Ya, who’s that?” Yoongi asked Carolina who had the same expression on her face.

“It’s spiderman” the blonde one said and Carolina immediately commented “Uh nice butt” since the boy was turned to the side trying to fetch his walkie talkie to talk to Yoongi, and as soon as he heard the comment he turned around and walked forward a little further.

“IT’S JUNGKOOK!! YOONGI, IT’S ME!”

“Nevermind” Carolina said again and crossed her arms “WHAT DO YOU WANT VIRGIN BOY?!”

“It’s Jungkook?”

“Yeah”

“BRO ARE YOU PLAYING THE GAME?” Jungkook shouted trying to ignore Carolina. A hard gust of wind hit them suddenly, the boy’s hands coming up to protect his eyes.

“YES WE ARE”

“DO- DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE PLACE IS?”

“WE DO VIRGIN BOY BUT WE AIN’T TELLING” he saw Carolina shut Yoongi’s mouth without need with one of her hands and answered for him while laughing. Jungkook knew this because although he was trying to ask Yoongi the answer, he lived with the guy and knew him well enough to know that he could be a snake sometimes. “GO FIND YOUR BRAIN QUICKLY BEFORE YOU RUN OUT OF TIME”

“YOU- YOU’RE A BITCH!” Jungkook grunted in frustration.

“AND MUCH MORE!” her laughter echoing in the silent street and she coldly turned around with the blonde girl, both of them walking away. Yoongi did the same but before he shouted an apology “SORRY JUNGKOOKIE, GOOD LUCK!”

“Well that sucks” Jason stated bluntly coming near Jungkook, Tori right behind him.

Jungkook kept staring at their figures slowly disappearing in the distance, and something inside of him started boiling. His body was starting to get cold and his brain was completely blank due to his frustration.

A static noise broke the tension and Jason got startled by his own walkie talkie, Tori came rushed towards him as well as Jungkook - who spared one last glance at the horizon, Yoongi long gone.

“Hello players, this is your game master” a modified voice came out of the piece of machinery Jason was holding.

“Thank God! We need a hint!” Tori exclaimed, her right hand coming to her chest in a sign of relief.

“Beware of who may be watching you…” the voice said and as quick as it came it went away. The three of them still looking at the walkie talkie in hopes to hear anything else but nothing. Nothing came. Just the howling wind that was serving as a background song for their night.

“It’s.. It’s that it?” Jungkook asked indignant.

“It sounded like that guy- What’s the name?” Jason asked Tori rather excited “The Scream dude! The voice was exactly the same”

“TKE is definitely excelling themselves this year”

6

Hours ago Silvia thought she was up for a hell of a good night with her friends, even if the weather wasn’t helping at all, and now here she was, chasing the correct number painted on a tree located on the McCarthy Quad park. At least that was what Hyori and Namjoon had concluded from the clue they had been given to and she didn’t dare to refute.

Silvia was running fast but Hyori was running faster and the wind was pushing them back, difficulting their bodies movements. She heard someone shout a little further and coming to a halt she turned to see Namjoon pointing towards a big sycamore tree.

“Hyori!!!” she looked back to shout at the girl that went ahead “Hyori!!! He found it!” Silvia’s hair was all over her face and for a moment she could hardly see one foot ahead.

Something cold touched her skin while she tried to tame her wild curls, and when she looked up startled she saw Hyori’s smile. Both girls ran towards Namjoon who currently fought a battle with the zipper of his backpack trying to put away the clue inside it.

“What are you doing?” Hyori questioned him chuckling once they approached the spot. The boy glanced at them with a furious expression.

“I broke the zipper of my bag”

“Let me see it” Silvia took the still light bag only to conclude he indeed had broken it. She started then to try and find a solution to his problem.

“Ok so this is it” Hyori said looking around; the lantern she had in her right hand illuminating the red number painted on the tree. “And I’m guessing we’ll have to digg now” she pointed then her flashlight to the shovels pilled next to it.

“I’ll start then” Namjoon took one in his hands and started digging; he had no clue of what he was doing.

“Ok, let’s do this-” Silvia was going to put Namjoon’s backpack on the side but the other girl interrupted her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Let’s take turns!” Hyori said with a gentle smile; her small voice a little louder now to be heard in such a terrible weather. “Me and Namjoon will digg while you come up with a solution to that” she chuckled.

“Got it!”

The boy wasn’t paying much attention now, his eyes strained onto the ground and he tried his best to not make a mess out of it. He could be clumsy at times - most of the times if he had to be honest, but he was trying his best to do the job properly and not disappoint both of his teammates. Hyori on the other hand got a little distracted once she saw another group of three a little further away from them. They seemed to be looking at a map. The only thing she could see was their flashlight pointed to the piece of paper and their silhouettes.

Hyori normally wasn’t that great at distinguishing people, she was bad with faces and all, but she would be damned if she didn’t recognize her own best friend even if she was from far away.

While her gaze was upon Deo and what her group might be, one of the tall silhouettes turned it’s head to the side, right at her direction. The flashlight wasn’t illuminating properly, but Hyori could see it was two boys that surrounded her friend.

“Are you going to digg too or…?” Namjoon asked huffing.

“Yeah… Just a sec…” she answered still too focused on Deo’s group. When her roommate illuminated the higher corner of a map she had in hands, the ray of light flashed Jack’s face and she could see his squinted eyes trying to look at her as well. “Jack!” Hyori said out loud but the howling wind muffled her voice.

The next thing she saw was Jack pointing towards his back and leading both Deo and the other tall guy further away from her. Is he really that competitive? Hyori thought. She held her glance at them for a few more seconds before Namjoon say something.  

“I- I think” he gasped “I think we have the wrong spot”

“It’s still shallow Namjoon” Silvia pointed out laughing.

“Oh? Yeah… Sorry. I think I’m not doing a very good job” he said with both hands resting on his shovel, admiring the work he had done so far.

-

“Jack I’m pretty sure is that way” Deo pointed towards her back but her eyes were still trailed on the map she was carrying around. Jack’s hands never leaving her shoulder, pushing her forward. The girl was a little out of focus since her worst fear (clowns or just pennywise) got to chase after her earlier, that resulted on her eye mascara being smudged a little under her eyes due to crying. 

“It’s not baby, look” he pointed with his own flashlight to a trail marked on the map. “We were here and we need to go this way”

“He’s right… I think” Taehyung admitted against his will. From the second he met Jack he hated the guy. He was the typical jock that made stupid jokes and spoke nothing more than about himself. The guy was cocky and basically the complete opposite of Taehyung. And to say it wasn’t being hard to control the facial expressions he felt the need to do every time Jack spoke was a complete lie.

“You can’t even read the GPS on your car and you’re asking me to trust you with a map?” she looked over her boyfriend.

“Hold on a second-”

“Sorry to interrupt the love quarrel but the guy is right” Taehyung interrupted; he was walking behind the couple and that made Deo stop on her tracks to look back at him, Jack being obliged to stop as well. “We passed by those trees back there” Taehyung said carefree while pointing back “and their numbers were 4, 7, 9… If we are assuming this is like a house address numbers thing, then our tree is on that way” he finished his thinking pointing frontwards.

“Thank God someone that backs me up” Jack said with a bright smile and going back to push Deo forward and gently once again.

“Fine then, let’s see” the girl rolled her eyes but offered no resistance at being guided.

Somewhere near, in the chilly park that was already filled with autumn leaves everywhere, you could hear the sound of a shovel insistently hitting the earth while a heated chattering followed. Team 3 was finding hard to reach to an agreement. Emma kept digging by herself, it had been fifteen minutes since they found their tree but Jennifer refused to touch a single nail on a shovel. V alongside Emma had picked a shovel to dig as well but seeing Jennifer did nothing she stopped her work and started arguing with her.

“We are a team Jennifer!” V was now almost yelling; the vein on her neck popping due to such frustration. “You gotta help as well!”

“I’ll help in the next one” Jennifer rolled her eyes and kept playing with her nails. Her expression not even alterated.

“That’s what you said when me and Emma were trying to catch the bags, yours included! And when we were trying to figure out this riddle”  

“Stop being a dramatic bitch” Jennifer retorted now looking at Victoria’s eyes. “I said I will help on the next task”

“Leave her be, Victoria” Emma said with a huff. “I can do it, it’s-” another puff of air leaving her mouth “It’s alright”

Victoria grunted in frustration, her eyes never leaving Jennifer stare. “Forget it” she ended up saying and then went back to help Emma. “How deep do you think we have to dig?” she asked throwing the dirt she had just digged to the side.

“To be honest-” Emma started and stopped to kick her shovel deep into the soil “I hope not much more”

“Well I think you two will have to dig a whole more and faster if you want to finish this game until tonight”

“Shut up!” V snapped at Jennifer “No one asked your opinion, oh my God”

Jennifer just laughed in amusement, scenes like this were a regular thing on the volley practices. Both girls were from the same team although it didn’t look like not even a little not even at all.

“Did you felt that?” Emma asked V, trying to ignore the profound want and need of hitting Jennifer with her own shovel. The girl was just being too much ever since they got trapped together.

“Felt what?”

“That” Emma said again hitting her shovel on something harder than what it felt when digging earth and hearing a clink noise in return.

“Shit- We found it” Victoria exclaimed and quickly let her shovel fall by her side to start brushing the dirt aside with her own hands.

7

“Told ya’” Jack said. They had just found the tree marked as 22, the bright red impossible not to spot from a certain distance. They had been walking for ten minutes non-stop trying to check every tree they found on the way, to make sure they weren’t missing theirs. And turned out Taehyung was right about the whole address thing.

“Told ya” Deo mocked “Just grab the freaking shovel jock. Let’s put those muscles up to good use” she cheekily put her tongue out making Jack blow a kiss with a cocky smile. Taehyung decided not to stand by watching the scene so with a roll of his eyes he grabbed the first shovel he could see and started digging.

-

Dylan was completely stretched on the dirty floor of McCarthy Quad, although he was feeling his clothes getting damped due to the temperature he was just too exhausted to get up.

“So what do we do now?” Lindsay questioned; in one hand she had the little paper with their new clue and the other was resting on her hip. “You guys have any idea of where this might lead us?”

“I have no clue” Ali who was dressed in a renaissance garb sat down next to Dylan; the air she huffed and puffed visible in the air due to the temperature drop. She and Dylan digged until they found a metal box, inside it another finger with the same tag one point for you player! and the clue.

For a few seconds the only thing hearable was the sound of Lindsay wiggling the pearls she was wearing around her neck to complete her flapper costume and the tapping of her impatient foot.

“Ok” Dylan said while shuffling himself to a sitting position. “As soon as we figure the place, cause I’m really assuming that note leads us to another location, I have a plan for us to go faster”

“Please do tell” Ali turned her face gently to the side to see him.

“No, no, first we need to find what is up with that location”

“Isn’t this talking about books though?” Lindsay said, her eyes trailed on the little note and her mind paying no attention to her teammates.

“Books?”

“Let me see it” Dylan asked with an extended hand to her and she handed him the clue. “Umm… You guys know we are right in the middle of two libraries right?” he asked looking from one to another.

Ali immediately looked at Lindsay with huge eyes. “Oh my God we are!”

“So, what was your plan to get us there quickly?” Lindsay asked excited.

“Oh nevermind, the buildings are right here, we don’t need that old bike over there” Dylan shrugged off.

“Were you seriously thinking on riding that thing?” Lindsay laughed. The old bike leant on a bench near where they were was rusty and seemed to be missing some pieces.

“You probably failed calculus because we are three and there’s no way you could ride a bike taken other two people in it”

“I said I had a plan, not that I had a good one!” he said jokingly while getting up and cleaning his hands on the side of his trousers. A static sound interrupted the girls laughter.

“Hey players, if I were you I’d run…”

“Bro the Halloween game this year is getting hella’ artistic” Dylan commented.

“Yeah, tell me about it! That horrendous version of Slash was really artistic”

“I spy with my little eyes…”

Lindsay glanced around a little spooked out, she didn’t know if it was her head painting scenarios over what she had just heard the so called game master saying or if she could really feel someone watching them. “Guys let’s just get out of here”

-

The third challenge was indeed in the libraries that surrounded the park the players had gone to like Dylan suspected. As soon as the teams got to the entrance they could spot the door open and everyone knew that it wasn’t supposed to be open at night. Most of them in fact hesitated to enter the dark place… Hyori for example went over the little clue a few more minutes before coming to terms that she would have really to trespass the property.

Screeching noises could be heard the moment you passed through the door, the aged wooden floor not helping to keep the secrecy of someone being there. The only thing team 10 could see was what their flashlight was illuminating.

“Oh my God what is that?!” Jae whispered alarmed, her body frozed up near a huge shelf full of books.

“Is that another player or…”

“If you say it’s that weirdo dressed as Scream again, Cecilia, I swear to God” Tessa was crouched near them, her hands on her head. When the girls were searching for their bags they encountered Scream. He looked like a statue, one of the many that were decorating the party that night, and they would never think it was actually a real person. Tessa that was in the front got a tremendous jumpscare and ended up falling.

“It doesn’t seem him” Jae that was still looking at the lurking presence a little forward said after looking back at them. “It’s mask is different”

“That one is a…” Cecilia tried to figure out. “A phantom of the opera?”

“Oh then we are ok” Tessa got up and started walking towards the person. “Hey! Psssst”

“Tessa!” both girls whispered in a loud manner.

“Hey you! I’m sorry-“

The costumed guy, dressed as what it seemed like phantom of the opera, said nothing but pointed her towards a door.

“Guys” Tessa called looking back. “I think we have to go that way!”

“Really?” Jae approached her, looking from the clue she had pointed with a flashlight and then the door. “Between poets and suspense…” she looked to the sides of the door. There were a two shelves next to it, one that said poetry and the other said suspense/thriller.

“Yeah, definitely here” she concluded.

“Let’s go then… I guess” Cecilia went to open the door, and once her hand was on the doorknob it opened up without her doing anything. “Jesu-“

“For some people Naruto is indeed Jesus” Yoongi chuckled opening the door fully now and walking past Cecilia and the other girls from team 10.

“TESSA!” Carolina exclaimed once the girl entered her sight. “You’re here too?”

“Just got here!” she went for a hug. “What did you do there?” Tessa pointed the door that was now being closed by a girl dressed as Violet from the charlie and the chocolate fabric.

“Friends are friends, business is business, Tess! Sorry!” Carolina smiled apologetic. “And good luck!!” she wished truly.

“Fiiiine” Tessa sighed. “Happy Halloween!” she smiled to her friend. “Let’s go, girls” and she opened the door again, this time going through it with Cecilia and Jae right behind her.

“I didn’t know you could make friends” Yoongi pointed out in a tone of joke; his arms crossed.

“I befriended you, after that everything else is super duper easy” she sticked her tongue out.

Yoongi laughed and then took out the little card he had hidden inside his pocket. “Tchaa!” he sighed “Another one for you two, I’m tired of thinking”

“That sounds like a fun place to go” Sarah chuckled nervously.

8

Cara, Jimin and Holly had just entered a dark room they had been pointed out inside the library. Jimin mustered the courage he didn’t have and put on a brave face to go first while Cara and Holly followed, both of them tightening the grip on his leather jacket. The room was pitch dark and before going in they saw a sign saying they needed to leave their backpacks behind.

“Just stay close” Jimin whispered without a need while going inside. Not a peep could be heard.

“This room is freezing!” Cara commented while getting even closer to Jimin. “And my outfit isn’t helping”

“It’s ok, girl, I got your back” Holly immediately crouched to grab part of Cara’s dress to help her walk more freely. Her chosen outfit for tonight was Feyre from A court of thorns and roses and although she was looking beautiful until now her dress was making everything seem harder for her, specially running. Before she could thank Holly, the door they had just walked through which was also the only remaining source of light for them was shut close with a loud bang. The three of them jumping with the loud noise and an uncomfortable silence followed.

Jimin’s eyes were trying to adjust to the somber room, he blinked and tried his best to focus on some spot and try to see at least some silhouettes but he failed.

“Hello players, I hope you are up to play a game because I have some questions for you” a grotesque laughter came right after, the voice deep and clearly altered.

“Who’s there??” Jimin asked and chuckled nervously after he did it. He brought Holly and Cara closer to him, his hands firmly placed on the small of their backs.

“Who directed the film Halloween from 1978?” the grotesque voice asked them.

“Eeey- That isn’t fair!” Jimin complained. “How are we even supposed to know that?!” 

“Oh God, I don’t really know that one!” Holly said anxious. Cara just kept holding for dear life onto Jimin. 

A loud error noise was able to be hear making the three of them jump in fear, no one expecting the loud noise so close and loud. 

“Which film has as its main characters, Morticia and Gomez?”

“Oh! Oh! That’s easy!” Holly exclaimed. “It’s The Addams Family!”

“Nice!”

“Thank God we have Holly” Cara said in relief. 

“WOUSH!! What was that?!” Jimin fumbled back taking the girls with him. 

“What?!” 

“There was something touching my feet!”

“What is the word Hallowe’en an abbreviation of?”

“All Hallow’s Eve!!” Jimin and Holly yelled at the same time. Cara unable to form coherent thoughts on her head, the dark room was freaking her out. 

- 

On a blacked out room right next to group 9, three girls were kneeled on the ground together. As soon as group 6 entered the room they started getting uncomfortable with not being able to see things and also about the lack of sound. 

Esme started crouching down, her defense mechanism being turn herself into a little ball, and of course Nina followed. Aashna stood up for a little while, she kept feeling the other two getting closer to her legs, but once a loud bang echoed the room she dropped to her knees in a matter of seconds.

“What was Dr. Frankenstein first name?”

“Victor! It was Victor!!!” Nina yelled, she wasn’t afraid but she would admit the room was getting weirder and weirder. 

“Yes!!” Esme celebrated when a xylophone acute sound soared on the room, they knew the answer was right. 

“Name all the killers that embodied Ghostface from Scream.”

“Oh fuck! That one is hard” Nina said more to herself than anything. 

“You know it?” Esme asked turning to Aashna. 

“Uh… Roman Bridger is one of them…?” Aashna started not feeling very secure of her answer. “Loomis? Ugh I don’t know!!” 

“It’s ok-” 

A loud error sound echoed startling them, that probably meant the answer was wrong, they thought. 

-

“Who were the targets of Jack the Ripper?”

“Prostitutes!” Dylan said. “That’s for sure!”

“You sure?” Ali questioned him, but he didn’t need to answer because the xylophone sound was heard. 

“Thank God! I just want to leave here!!!!” Lindsay was feeling agitated on this room, it was too eerie. 

“It’s ok, Linds! I’m sure it will be over soon” Dylan said softly trying to pull her closer. They had just met but he knew she was having a hard time being scared. 

“For what is Ted Bundy known?”

“Killing over 35 women!” Ali and Dylan said at the same time. 

“It was 35 right?” he questioned.

“Yes, I’m sure!” 

Another xylophone sound was heard. 

“Please tell me this was the last!!” 

“It’s almost babeee” Ali tried to cheer her up, her hand coming to Lindsay’s squeezing it a bit. 

“It’s dare time players” the game master finally said freaking them out. 

9

After answering the last question, there was a loud bang again and Deo immediately held the closest thing she found as some sort of comfort. She knew this was just a game but she couldn’t help feeling scared being in the dark.

“Lights on”

The girl had her eyes closed shut. Jack opened his and rubbed them. When he looked back he saw his girlfriend holding tight Taehyung who was standing still like nothing was happening while scanning the room. That was enough to make Jack insanely mad. 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” he exclaimed loudly making Taehyung look at him confused and Deo just opened her eyes surprised. 

“I-I thought it was you!” the girl said after looking at Taehyung’s face and realizing it was not her boyfriend there. Taehyung immediately let out a tsk. 

“ME?! I look nothing like that guy!” Jack pointed at the other boy furious. “Why are you still holding him?!” he asked when his girlfriend did nothing to move away. His anger making him explode and stride quickly until he could reach her arm to pull her away. 

“Hey!” Taehyung exclaimed; his eyebrows furrowed. “You’re going to hurt her” 

“I was not! And how could I see?! It was pitch black!” Deo defended herself. 

“You were with me in the dark before. You should know damn well how I feel to the touch”

A snort sound coming from Taehyung was heard. “Now that’s just pathetic”

“What?! That doesn’t even make sense!”

“You know what?!” Jack exclaimed furious “I don’t want to talk about this shit anymore” he went towards the left wall; hands placed on his hips. An awkward moment of tension followed.

“Oook” Taehyung said breaking the silence. “What’s up with this thing?” he approached a locker standing in the middle of the room. 

“Are you seriously going to be like that? Whatever..” Deo said, Jack having his back to her. And then looking over the locker where Taehyung now was she asked “How many digits?”

“Four” 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Are you really pretend nothing happened??” Jack looked back at both at them but his frustration clearly directed at Deo. 

“Jack what the fuck! You said you didn’t want to talk about it, let’s not!” she answered, looking everywhere but him. 

“Not to be indelicate but- 2:31 minutes left according to that timer over there”

“Fuck off dude!!!” Jack yelled at him. 

“Yeah, same” he answered back. 

“Jack!” Deo reprehended him but he did nothing but to ignore her still pacing around the room. "Do you want me to just tell you the words on the walls?“ the girl asked Taehyung. 

“Could we maybe exchange? I’m not very good with this but I have big eyes so I can tell you the words!” Tae smiled cutely to her and she immediately walked over the locker. 

"Yup, sounds good to me." 

“I have big eyes so I can tell you the words” Jack mocked in a stupid tone. “Did I just disappeared is that it??”

"Fucking wish Pennywise was here” Deo said almost in a whisper way. Jack didn’t hear but Taehyung certainly did which made him chuckle loudly. 

“What is so funny, jackass?!”

“You’re the one named Jack not me” Tae scoffed; his eyes briefly on Jack before returning to the written walls again. 

“Guys the time!!!”

“Sorry!” Taehyung apologized and quickly read a few words before finding one with four digits. “Try rack” he said looking back at Deo.

“Oh shit!!”

“What?!” Taehyung asked nervous and Jack just stopped pacing to look at Deo expectant. 

“It’s right!”

“IT IS???!” Taehyung just couldn’t believe he found the word at his first attempt. A huge smile taking over his face. “My eyes worked!!!!”

“What does it has inside?” Jack asked without patience. 

Taking over a piece of paper from inside Deo said “A clue I think”

-

Aashna kept blinking trying to adjust her now recovered vision to the intense light. Nina and Esme seemed more recomposed than her since both of them were standing in the middle of the room inspecting a big and solitair red locker that also stood there. She observed that the walls were full of words and letters painted in red, her hand trailing slowly the gory word that gained her attention the most. Somber.

“I think we need to find the word that opens this” she heard Nina say but her eyes still on the marked walls.

“Yeah and we need to find it fast, look” Esme said and she turned around to see what the girl was talking about. Esme was pointing towards a timer placed on the top of the door they came in by. 2:40 it marked. And after blinking Aashna got to see one number less, the timer was decreasing.

“How are we supposed to know which word is it???” Aashna panicked.

“For starters I think it’s a four letter word since there’s only four spaces here” Nina pointed out going to the nearest wall to try and find something.

“I’ll insert every word I know then!”

“Try dark” Aashna said when she spotted the word right next to where her hand was leaning and then looked expectant at Esme to see the result.

Esme fumbled with the padlock a little and then looked back at Aashna “Nope, not that one”

“Lost!” Nina shouted from across the room.

2:03.

The clicking sound of Esme fumbling with the locker could be heard, nothing else. It was followed by a long sigh. “Still a no!”

“Bone?” Aashna asked.

1:40.

And when the answer was once again a no, Nina shouted again “Shot!”

“I’m starting to get really frustrated at this” Esme grunted. “No, still nothing” she sighed.

“Are we going to stay stuck here?”

“Just keep looking!”

“Ok, what about blue? It’s written there” Nina suggested. “There’s not even a clue or something?”

“I guess not…” Esme answered her while inserting the word on the padlock. “And it’s not blue either.

1:01.

“This sucks!!!”

“I don’t see anymore words here with four letters only” Aashna said while reading everything she could. “Are you sure it’s a four letter word??”

“Pretty sure!” Esme answered leaving the locker and going to check the walls herself. “There’s only four spaces there.”

“I’ll try words I know then” Nina said walking towards the big red locker. “We still have time right?” she looked over the timer to see 0:43 marked on it. “Shit. Ok, what about home?” she said more to herself than anything else fumbling with the lock.

“Ghost”

“That’s a five letter word” Esme chuckled making Aashna chuckle too.

0:27.

“Love isn’t the answer after all…” Nina sighed moving onto the wall on her right. “Let me see if there’s something here”

“And the only door here is locked” Esme said turning the knob of the door and stating it didn’t open. “So yeah, we are probably screwed”

“What happens when the timer reaches zero though?” Nina questioned.

“ZERO! That’s it!” Aashna said excited looking from the timer to Esme who was quick to run towards the center of the room and insert the word on the padlock.

0:09.

“Please, please” Aashna mumbled.

“IS IT?”

And with a heavy sigh Esme said “No”.

A loud and screeching sound of a siren echoed in the entire room making the girls press their hands to their ears to somehow muffle the noise. Nina even crouched on the floor and they got even more horrified when the door finally opened and a tall figure dressed like an intimidating and gory doctor entered with a catering trolly, three cups on top of it.

The siren stopped and the abrupt change made the girls head combust. “I guess it’s going to be trick instead of treat” the guttural voice echoed on the room once again and the girls knew right then they would have to drink from the cups.

“Choose your cup wisely players” a wicked laughter followed along with Aashna, Esme and Nina exchanging glances before picking up their glasses and gulping everything down.

-

On the room next door the timer was running fast but still no sign of the locker opening up.

“I still can’t believe Jungkook managed to open this thing” Jennifer kicked the locker lightly. Group 3 had previously met Group 2 on the entrance of the library, Jungkook, Tori and Jason were just leaving the place when the girls happened to be entering. They exchanged a few words since both V and Jennifer knew Jungkook and Jason from volley, and of course, Jungkook knew Jennifer from much more than volley but it was a brief meeting nonetheless.

“You don’t know if he actually did it” V retorted.

“Try the word host!” Emma said to Jennifer who rolled her eyes and fumbled grudgingly with the padlock.

“I’m guessing he did since he was walking away from here differently from us” Jennifer answered while doing the task she was in charged with.

1:04.

“And it’s not host”

“What about Hope?” V asked.

“I’m sure it’s not going to be a cutesy word, hello? We are in a halloween game!” Jennifer answered without moving to do what V had asked her.

“Girl I swear-”

“Just try it out, Jennifer” Emma let out a long sigh.

“Fine” with another roll of eyes she turned around to fumble once more with the padlock.

0:38.

V and Emma waited expectant. “Not Hope, as I clearly explained before, the answer is clearly nothing like a cute word.”

“Let me see then” Emma said walking slowly around the room again and reading carefully every word she could find.

“Dark?”

“We tried that one already, pay attention bitch” Jennifer chuckled acidly.

“Girl you better watch out your back starting from tomorrow I swear, if I see you on the street-”

“Four? Try four” Emma ignored the heated argument, by now she was more than used to it.

0:17.

“That would be such a stupid passcode” Jennifer said while inserting the word. “I will be so disappointed if that is actually- It isn’t! Thank God” she snorted.

“This bitch is dumb as hell.” V chuckled while nodding her head and turning around to check the walls once again. “She is actually thanking the lord for not being able to get out of here.”

“It’s what they say, aesthetics first” Emma let out almost in a whisper and it was totally unintended but V managed to hear and she cracked hard.

0:02.

“Oh great, the time is up and you two are laughing like best-” Jennifer was saying but the loud siren interrupted her. She instantly fell backwards, bumping into the locker and slowly sliding down with her hands pressed firmly against the sides of her head.

Emma did the same, trying to protect herself from the madding noise while V stayed up trying to open the door by twisting the knob furiously. Until the door opened and she stumbled backwards seeing the eerie doctor coming in with a trolley and the three cups.

10

Carolina could feel her heartbeat drumming in her ears due to such excitement and thrill. Yoongi was the one decoding the clue they managed to get from inside the locker placed in the challenge of the library and they quickly came to the nearest graveyard around USC. Arriving there none of the three could see a single soul walking or completing the next challenge and both Carolina and Yoongi weren’t very keen on risking when they didn’t know the outcome. So thinking fast the girl suggested the other two for them to hide near the graveyard and wait for the next team, that way they could see what were they up to or at least know what they should and should not do.

Sarah was bundled up on her tracksuit just looking out with her lince eyes towards the foggy graveyard. Yoongi was crouched down right next to her looking comfortably, his hands near his mouth for warmth. If there was a thing he really hated was the cold. Carolina on the other hand had no coat, she was wearing only a nurse dress, her arms and legs were so numb that she stopped paying some mind to the harsh and cold wind.

“You look like a lunatic with that makeup” Yoongi whispered to her chuckling softly. His breathing creating a considerable breath vapor every time he talked or chuckled.

“Even when you’re serious you look like you’re laughing wickedly” Sarah whispered too with a satisfacted smile making Carolina open one herself.

“Why so serious?!” she looked at them jokingly with one eyebrow up and a creepy smile.

“Ya” Yoongi pushed her and she stumbled back since she was crouching to stay hidden. “That was creepy as fuck” he finished making Sarah laugh again.

“I almost fell and got dirt and mud on my white nurse… thing. What is this called?”

“It’s just a dress” Sarah laughed even more.

“This way we are going to ruin our plan, everyone can hear us”

“We got here first???” they heard someone exclaim from a distance. The three of them silent now and vigilant.

“Bro what did I tell you??? We didn’t open that stupid locker but we still got here first than anyone else!!”

“Who are those?” Yoongi whispered, his eyes squinted but he couldn’t see anything.

“I think… Jason?” Sarah whispered back.

“Not surprised he didn’t open the locker then” Carolina chuckled lowly.

“What do we do now? There’s nothing here”

“And that’s virgin boy”  Carolina added.

“How do you even know?”

“Confirmed, it’s him” Sarah answered her.

“His voice is annoying”

“Shit there’s more people coming”

“Where?”

As soon as team 8 heard that, they looked towards the direction the girl that was with Jungkook was looking to. Sarah, the only one with falcon eye vision in that group was reporting what she saw. To what she could see, there was not only one other group approaching but two. The first one she described as being three girls and Carolina quickly recognized one of them being Esme, her new front door neighbour. The other group as Sarah described had two girls and a guy. She tried her best to explain who Silvia was, saying she worked on the library and everything but Yoongi and Carolina never really paid much attention to their surroundings. Now, the guy… That one as soon as he came to both friends vision they recognized as their clumsy friend. He approached Jungkook and while doing so he stumbled on a grave and if it weren’t for the spidey senses that Jungkook conveniently had Namjoon would probably be on the floor right now.

The so familiar static sound surprised team 8 that was focused on the other groups interacting. “Should I take someone else to serve as company to your friend, players?” They heard the voice say followed by a muffled scream that left them in shock.

Sarah chuckled nervously. “They- They are really taking this game seriously” she let out a few more spaced laughter, her eyes going from Yoongi to Carolina, hoping that one of them could ease her mind that the pained scream she heard was nothing but a dumb joke of halloween.

Yoongi pressed the button to respond on the walkie talkie and a little beep could be heard. “Is this another riddle or clue? Over” and as soon as he said it he could hear himself faintly, the message being emitted from Carolina’s and Sarah’s walkie talkies still kept inside their own backpacks.

“Why are we receiving the message as well?” Sarah asked.

Another muffled and pained grunt could be heard again and their attention fell over the walkie talkie on Yoongi’s hand “Tik Tok players… Your friend doesn’t have much time, that I can guarantee you” Carolina looked from the piece of machinery in Yoongi’s hand to his eyes “Mhhmmm” someone screamed uncomfortably and visibly gagged. “Tik tok” and the beep sound made them know the message had come to an end.

“What is happening?” Sarah asked visibly disturbed. Carolina didn’t answer but her eyes moved towards the graveyard again, Namjoon was there looking at a map together with his team and her heart tightened. Where is Taehyung and Jin? she thought to herself.

“Yoongi there’s something wrong”

“What do you mean?” both him and Sarah said at the same time, their expressions worried.

“There’s only Namjoon there.” Carolina pointed out. “Where’s the other two?”

“Which two? What are we talking about?”

“I’m sure this is all a prank Carolina” Yoongi tried to ease her mind. “It’s halloween after all”

“I’m telling you-”

“Too slow” there it was the static noise again. “Happy haunting, players”

A loud scream was heard, Yoongi’s head snapped towards the sound and Sarah gasped at the vision. A bunch of grotesque and gross zombies appeared on the graveyard, and if they didn’t know zombies didn’t exist they would definitely think they were just now meeting the creatures.

Tori was being dragged towards a tiny grove behind the graveyard, she screamed and struggled to get away but the fetid creature had a tight grip on her. Jungkook tried to help but two of them came towards him and he had no choice but to run and on it’s way of doing so he took one down that was trying to catch Aashna. He grabbed her arm and forced her to run with him, dodging the grunting beasts but there were many of it. Aashna eventually couldn’t keep up with his pace and was grabbed by the waist being dragged away from the boy.

“I FOUND ONE!” they heard Jason scream, his arm up trying to show Jungkook the finger they had been receiving with every clue so far. “IT’S THE POINTS RIGHT??”

“KEEP LOOKING FOR THEM!!” the boy answered dodging another zombie.

Esme and Nina were running together, they were trying to leave the graveyard when Nina spotted a piece of paper tied to a finger. She swiftly snatched the finger and looked back to check on Esme, they had what they needed, now they just had to run as fast as they could to the front gates, Aashna already had been taken, they couldn’t afford being catched as well.

“Nina run!!!” Esme’s voice could be heard louder now after a little scream. Nina looked back to see the girl being held by two of the ill looking beings. “GO NINA!”

“We have to help” Sarah whispered to her teammates, they were still hiding.

“No no no, let’s wait” Yoongi tried.

“Yoongi something is not right here, why would they take people?”

“And this game master person said our friend needed company and our friend seemed in pain. I don’t think this is a bad joke guys…” Sarah was trembling.

The boy sighed and then looked front, he could see Namjoon hiding with both girls of his team, just like he was. But something definitely felt wrong. “We need to evaluate this better”

“There’s nothing to evaluate Yoongi. We have zero ways of communication right now” Carolina looked at him with pleading eyes. “We don’t have our phones, we only have walkie talkies that don’t let us talk to others apart from this fucking psycho and that was not a sick prank.” she paused offegant. “I know how editing works and so do you. That didn’t sound like a sound effect he browsed online, that sounded like a real fucking person and it’s either Jin or Tae”

“I- I think she’s right… I didn’t come with friends tonight so he was probably talking to you two. And it’s pretty weird that one of your close friends it’s there but the other two aren’t-”

“We don’t even know if they are in the game! As far as we know they can perfectly be partying right now” Yoongi reasoned.

“And why the hell did he choose me and you instead of Jin and Tae? No offense but those two are walking gamers. Me and you are just grandpas that do nothing but complain” she pleaded tugging his arm. “This thing is looking like the fucking Saw movie, Yoongs”

“Carolina-” he was going to say but Namjoon’s voice was heard loud and clear making the three of them look again at the chaotic scenery at their front.

A group of zombies were trying to take Hyori away but Namjoon pushed two of them freeing the girl. She quickly ran to stay behind him and everything seemed ok until the got to the other girl that was with him. He grabbed Silvia’s hand to pull her towards him, but two built up gory zombies dragged her in a flash.

“Silvia!!!” he yelled. Another one was coming towards him and Hyori again, but he took her hand in his and they both sprinted towards the entrance of the graveyard.

“Fuck.” Carolina said and before she could think properly she was getting up. “Stay here and when I say so you two sprint out of here, understood?” she looked back at Yoongi and Sarah.

“Hell no. What are you doing now?”

“I- I can come as well” Sarah offered.

“I said stay put.” she glanced at them with warning eyes and sprinted towards Namjoon.

11

A lot of the dead creatures had been gone by now, there was only ten of them remaining and most were focused on trying to catch both Jungkook and Jason. The fogg was making everything feel creepier and Carolina couldn’t help the goosebumps and bad feeling she was having even if her skin was already burning hot from the sprint she suddenly took.

“Namjoon!!” She screamed over the top of her lungs and her friend came to a halt, he was almost near the gates to leave, Hyori right behind him.

“Carolina?”

“You have the clue right??” she asked still sprinting; she could see three creatures walking fast to approach Namjoon and the girl.

“Yes! Are you alone?? What are you doing here??” he asked in a hurry while looking to his sides to see if there were any threats near.

“I’m with Yoongi!” Carolina was almost reaching him “There’s something wrong-” right at that moment she felt something grabbing her arm and she yanked it back, running faster. “There’s something wrong!!! Namjoon run!! The walkie talkies- We can’t communicate”

Two grunting creatures appeared behind Namjoon and Hyori, the girl screamed and stumbled back. “Hyori run!” he said grabbing the grimy arm of one of them and pushing the other with all his might.

“I won’t leave you!!”

“Mother-” Carolina came fast pushing hard one of the creatures due to the speed she was in. “Go you two! Find Jin and Tae!!!”

“What’s going on Carolina???” he asked in panic.

“Try the walkie talkies, Nam, there’s something wrong!!”

They started to aglomerate near the three of them and Namjoon just nodded and ran, taking Hyori’s hand once again and disappearing into the fog.

“WATCH OUT!” Carolina heard Jungkook’s voice near, he came running and pushing a zombie that was hunting down after her but he tripped and fell, the clue he had just found falling from his grip. The girl saw the opportunity and took it. She quickly grabbed the finger tied up with a clue that Jungkook just lost and started running, the object entering swiftly her pocket.

“HEY! CAROLINA” he yelled after her, still on his knees.

“I’M SORRY!” she shouted back but he was being left behind. “YOU AND JASON CAN MANAGE FINDING ONE MORE!! I’M SORRY”

“AAAAH” she heard his scream and turned back to see two morbid silhouettes dragging him by his arms. “GET OFF OF ME”

“Ah shit” she cursed under her breath and sprinted towards Jungkook.

-

Group 5 had roamed for a while now trying to figure out what the next place could be. Deo kept saying it could only be the graveyard and none of the boys said the contrary, even if Jack kept saying he was convinced it was some place else. 

“Do you think this is the right place?” Deo shrugged, eyes shifting from one boy to the other, their eyes clued to their maps. The graveyard seemed empty. 

“Yup, seems right to me.” Taehyung said, nonchalant.

“And what now?” She asked again, the apprehensiveness tone in her voice visible.

“Nice! Seems like we are the firsts so let’s not waste more time and look for the next clue.”

“This is huge… It’s going to take us forever specially with this fog.” Taehyung sighed, squinting his eyes to try and see over the deep white cloak pairing in the air. Before Deo could open her mouth to complain about how creepy the game had become Jack pulled her to him, grabbing her hand and running backwards. 

“Watch out! Zombie!!”

Taehyung ran right besides them, the wet grass making it slippery for them to keep balance. They heard a scream not so far away and Taehyung’s supersonic ability of recognizing every sound possible made him look attentively towards his right while still running. 

“JIMINAH!!” He yelled; his voice sounding deep and hoarse, the wind carrying it away. 

“TAEHYUNGIE!!!” he heard back but he had no sight on Jimin. More screams could be heard and in one second of distraction Taehyung bumped into one Zombie. He fell back harshly but quickly getting up. That’s when he saw the piece of paper tied onto a finger and he thought no more, he clumsily ran towards it and grabbed it. 

“TAEHYUNGIE! THE ZOMBIES! BE CAREFUL” he heard Jimin’s voice once again and he looked towards the direction of it. 

“JIMINAH! LET’S DO THIS!!!!” 

“Jack!!!!” Deo’s voice sounded close to him. “Get awaaaaay!!” 

Taehyung ran as fast as he could and when he got near the girl she was trying to set herself free from the disgusting creature holding her by her waist. The boy glanced over to see Jack dodging two of them and he wasted no time in pushing the zombie that fought Deo. The creature stumbled back and Taehyung pulled her with him towards the entrance once again. 

“JACK!” she kept screaming back. 

“I GOT THE CLUE!!! RUN FASTER BRO” Taehyung yelled in hope the other guy could hear it. 

“FUCK YOU!!”

-

The desert streets of USC campus that normally had a peacefulness to them were now feeling intimidating. The big and old buildings had a menacing look to them now. Silvia had her arms crossed tight over her chest, the trees making noises that were scaring her and her body was trembling from head to toe. Her Simon glasses were long gone, she lost them while trying to get away from those zombies, her backpack still secure on her back though.

On her hands she had only her walkie talkie that seemed useless since she tried over and over again to talk to someone but obtained no answer in return. She wasn’t liking the feeling of having to wander around USC at night and alone…

Suddenly a screeching sound. “It’s easier to hunt a prey if it is found alone” and a sinister laughter followed. Silvia looked around, the feeling of being watched creeping her out. She fastened her pace and tried again.

Beep. “Hyori? Namjoon? It’s me Silvia! Please Answer! Over” she kept looking around and walking as fast as she could trying her best to stay in the middle of the street where some lamp posts were still on. The leaves being swayed away by the wind.

“Silvia???” she heard Hyori’s voice and quickly brought the walkie talkie towards her mouth.

“YES!!! IT’S ME”

“Where are you right now?? Over” Hyori asked, her voice seemed hurried.

“I’m-” Silvia looked around. “Near Webb Tower! Over”

“Ok, listen to me very carefully” Hyori started, her voice difficult to be heard due to the noises the machinery kept doing. “Me and Namjoon think there’s something wrong. Be careful! We are currently on our way to the cinema department, the next clue sends us there. We’ll wait for you in the entrance ok? Over”

“What do you mean something is wrong? But ok, I’ll be there! Over”

“We’ll explain once you’re with us again.” Hyori said. “But please be careful. Keep talking to us from five to five. Over!”

“Ok! On my way. Over” Silvia answered before tightening her grip on the walkie talkie and running down the street.

12

Holly had been separated from her group quite a while ago. The last thing she remembers being Jimin trying to protect her and Cara from some scary zombies who were trying to catch them. It all felt like a fun game of catch until one of them dragged her away towards the grove and tied her up, her eyesight being compromised since they put a sack on her head. She felt like she was being taken somewhere since she could feel she was inside of a car, she could also feel there were other people inside it with her but she didn’t know who since she had a gag on her mouth keeping her from asking questions.

When the car came to a halt for the third time, she was dragged again, this time they removed the rope she had on her hands and then all she could hear was the sound of the tires burning in the asphalt. She waited for a few seconds and since nothing happened she slowly took off the sack that was still on her head. Holly felt a little scared while doing so, she was afraid of what she might see, but it turned out to be nothing more than an empty and dark street.

Now here she was running towards the cinematic department since she was able to contact Jimin and Cara with the walkie talkie that she kept inside her backpack, and although she was feeling a little dizzy due to the alcoholic beverages she was forced to gulp down on the library (her team didn’t manage to open the locker up) and Jimin kindly offered to go pick her up, she was feeling more alive than ever, a little spooked too, but that was halloween and nothing could stop her now.

“It has been quite a while since she said she was on her way” Jimin said pacing around with his hands in his hips; eyes trailed onto the horizon, hoping Holly would emerge there somehow.

Jimin and Cara had arrived on the cinematic building half an hour ago. A big sign glued on the wall saying for the next challenge they needed all three present, and ever since he saw Holly being taken he started worrying over the girl.

“I’m sure she’ll be here soon, Holly is a brave girl, she’s fine” Cara was sat on the steps of the front stair. The wind softly blowing on her face.

“Yeah but it’s dark and-”

“Are you actually afraid of the dark Jimin Park?” Cara chuckled trying to release the tension the boy was feeling somehow. She knew he was feeling guilty over the fact he let Holly unguarded somehow because a group of people passed by him and he got distracted. And Cara was still curious about why he did such a surprised face but that was a question for another time.

“No but she might be!”

“I think she isn’t” Cara offered a smile. “Once she arrives here we ask her about it and see who wins, what do you think?”

“Yeah sure” he answered but his eyes were still full of worries; his lips caught up by his teeth and his body never facing anything but the horizon.

-

Inside the cinematic department the air was hazy and there was also an unintelligible sound echoing the halls. Group 7 was wandering the halls, Cole once again in the lead since he was a frequent passenger of this department. The lights were out, the three boys were finding their way while following the bloody arrows painted on the floor with their flashlights and as Cole was starting to think it was leading them towards the basement or the archive room as the cinema students would call it.

He wasn’t wrong. He came to a halt right at the door of it, the whole way there Hoseok standing really close to Asa both of them a little spooked out.

“Is this it?” Asa asked. “I was expecting something scarier, I have to be honest”

“I can’t handle anything scarier than this”

“Well, I guess it is a little scarier” Cole pointed the flashlight towards a paper glued on the door. “Look” his flashlight now illuminating the big black letters. “One stays here and the other two go down… in the dark. Wow, what a fun activity!” he looked at his teammates with a sarcastic smile.

“I’m not going down- No oh. Not a chance” Hoseok said, his eyes flickering with fear.

“Then you just have to go there” Cole pointed towards an open space full of small screens twitching and showing different perspectives of a long corridor. Asa kept looking from one to another, he himself wasn’t finding the decision an easy one to make.

“No way I’m staying over there alone! The place looks like a scenery of a horror movie”

“It’s either that or the dark”

“If you stay up you will have to lead us with the walkie talkie, that’s what the rules say… At least it’s a rather backlit place!” Asa presented him the options. “But if you’re scared of staying alone, you can always go down, you’ll be with one of us… but in the dark”

Hoseok’s eyes kept going from the glitching tv screens and the iron made door with the intimidating keep out sign on it.

“Hey guys!!” all of them looked back pointing their flashlights towards the newcomers. Hoseok letting out a few weird sounds, he was definitely the scaredy cat of the group.

“Wow!” Tessa chuckled; her hands serving as shield for her now blinding eyes. “Keep pointing that at me and I might actually become the moon”

“Sorry! We thought it was someone else” Asa clumsily apologised making the girls laugh.

“Ok so I think one of us has to stay outside guiding the other two since down there is basically pitch black and we can’t enter with our flashlights?” Cecilia said, she was reading the rules until now.

“Alone here??” Jae exclaimed. “Not a chance!”

“I’ll do it it’s ok, you guys go” Cecilia reassured them and moved towards the screens. Pressing the button speak of her walkie talkie she tested if it was working. “One, two, one two” beep.

“It’s working!” Tessa gave her a thumbs up.

“Ok, I’ll stay here! It’s ok, I’ll stay with her” Hoseok pointed towards Cecilia.

“Alright! Let’s move then” Cole replied and opened the heavy metal door with a screech.

-

Somewhere in the way team 7 and team 10 went separate ways, both Hoseok and Cecilia guiding their teams to opposite directions. The humid and pitch black corridors giving everyone the chills, and if that wasn’t scary enough the sound of water droplets falling into what seemed like buckets with water inside was the cherry on top of the cake.

Jae and Tessa were holding hands both of them completely blind in the dense and darkened place, they walked slowly, each with a walkie talkie in hands.

Beep. “Guys turn to your right” Cecilia voice was heard through the static noise. “Not now! Walk about four steps straight and then turn”

“Can you see something inside here with us???” Jae asked her; her voice quivering a little.

“I don’t think so. Over”

“Did we take four steps yet?” Tessa asked coming to a stop. Through the little screen upstairs, Cecilia could see them stopping, they were talking but she couldn’t hear them.

“I don’t think so… Did we?”

Beep. “Girls what are you doing? Turn right now” Cecilia ordered.

“Turn left or right? Over” Tessa asked completely lost. Not being able to see was messing with her sense of direction.

Beep. “Left! Over” and they immediately turned left but what came after was chaos.

Tessa screamed once she felt something going against her. And that something screamed even louder. Fearing something was happening Jae crouched on the floor, the only command her mind was able to give her body with the jumpscare.

“It’s us! Calm down, it’s ok!!” the girls heard a deep voice say making them even more scared. A continuous scream still echoing.

“US WHO???” Tessa shouted putting her hands close to her chest as a defense mechanism. “Don’t touch me!!” she let out in surprise when a hand brushed hers.

“It’s Jeremy! Jeremy from the volley team! And Jin!” the owner of the deep voice said trying to calm them down.

Beep. “Girls are you ok?” Cecilia asked worried. She saw the whole scene without a sound.

“YEAH AND JIN!!” Jin shouted; his hands kept wiggling, in his mind if he kept doing that no one would approach him and scare him. “WoOAh”

“Jin? Jin Kim?” Tessa asked, her hand coming to her heart to calm herself down.

“Who’s asking?” Jin answered turning abruptly to his side and then to the other. Eventually Jeremy had to place a hand on his shoulder to make him stop.

“It’s Tessa! From the cinema!”

“Tessa?”

“Who- What is happening?” Jae was still crouched down.

“Carolina’s friend! She was asking for you!!” Tessa answered Jin.

“She was?” Both Jin and Jeremy asked at the same time.

“When we were arriving here she and Yoongi were leaving and she asked me if I saw you! She looked very worried. She asked for Taehyung as well”

“I-I’ll try to catch up with her” Jin said. “Let’s go Jeremy, we already have the thing”

Beep. “Girls?” Cecilia asked again.

“We’re here!” Jae quickly answered. “Everything’s ok, we just bumped on Jeremy”

“Hey! And Jin!!!” Jin scolded.

Beep. “And Jin”

Beep. “You got it?” Sana’s voice was heard and that made Jeremy remember what he had come for.

“Tell her yes!”

Beep. “We got it! On our way. Over” Jeremy said.

Beep. “Let’s go then! We have a game to win people!!” Sana finished the message with a cute chuckle.

“Best of luck, girls” Jeremy said pulling Jin with him.

“The clue is on the floor!” Jin said quickly and winked and then laughed like a mad man over his own stupidity of winking if no one could actually see his face.

Beep. “Keep moving forward now! I see some things on the floor. Over” Cecilia told them and both of them quickly said their goodbyes to the boys and went on walking slowly and tugging at each other’s arms.

Jin and Jeremy kept walking forward this time, the latter on the front since Jin was a total basket case when it came to feeling scared.

“I think we’re almost out” Jeremy said lowly.

“Ya, how do you even know?!” Jin chuckled. “I can’t even see you!”

“I just know man”

“Back there I was so blind and afraid that it felt like I lost you for a second. I was screaming your name but I don’t even know if it was something decipherable”

Jeremy was about to answer, he turned back as if to face Jin to do so but the static noise of the walkie talkie interrupted him. “Boys! To your left now!” Sana said.

Beep. “Right now?”

Beep. “Yes, turn left Jer! Jin, place your hands into his shoulders, like a train that way I will guide him better and you will follow. Over”

“Ya how do I even know where he is…” Jin thought out loud; his hands coming forward to try and find Jeremy.

Beep. “A little forward!” Sana chuckled. “Up! Up! There you go!”

A few minutes had passed, the boys following Sana’s instructions until they reached the metal door once again. She was already there waiting for them but her voice sounded nothing like before.

“G-Guys we need to go” Sana said almost in tears. Jeremy quickly went towards her and gave her a side hug. Jin approaching her too but without knowing what to say or do.

“What happened?”

“The g-game master” she said pointing towards the screen room now completely empty, team 7 and 10 most probably long gone.

“What did he say?” Jeremy asked concerned. Jin’s face going from worried to confused in a small fraction of time.

“I-I” Sana tried but she was really struggling to say out loud what was bothering and disturbing her mind.

“Easy! Is ok” Jin gently rubbed her back. “Just tell us what is happening”

“The game master he- I think he is keeping someone captive” she blurted it out. Jeremy glanced over Jin who chuckled unsure about the whole situation.

“He probably has… It’s supposed to be a fun game after all” he told her gently. “We have a serial killer like Freddy chasing us and then we had the zombies… I mean, it’s scary but it’s the game-”

“No!” Sana interrupted him. “You guys are not understanding!!” she gasped and looked at them a little distressed. “He contacted me saying there was a traitor inside and I thought it was just another riddle but then- then I heard someone screaming for help!”

“Ya… That was just him trying to scary you” Jin shrugged and then looked at Jeremy who was lost in thoughts. “Right Jeremy?” Jin poked him.

“Yeah! Right”

“I’m telling you guys! It wasn’t for pretend, I swear!” Sana pleaded once again.

“Ok let’s do this” Jeremy paused; both Jin and Sana looking at him attentively. “Let’s go to wherever this next clue takes us and try to find other people? Let’s just finish this and see where this whole thing leads us, ok? It’s probably like Jin said, only a prank to scare you.” he finished. Sana wasn’t very convinced, she knew what she had heard, but she nodded and followed the two guys out of the cinematic department.

13

It took a good hour for Cole to find a way of getting out a room where someone trapped him, completely in the dark. Once he managed to break in the door he desperately yelled Asa’s name, his clothes were damped and he had to hold one of his arms (he injured it while trying to break the wooden door trapping him from the outside world). Asa who was almost losing hope, absolutely terrified, was quick to get up on his feet and yell back. It was a trick thing to try and find the other person in the dark, specially inside of what it felt like a cold and infinite labyrinth.

Asa pushed the metal door while offering some support to Cole that was visibly hurt and even the half light hurt their eyes when they passed through the way out.

“Hoseok??” Cole shouted. “Our walkie talkies jammed, man! Someone trapped us inside” they both walked towards the little screen room Hoseok was left in.

“Hobi?” Asa called.

The room was completely empty. No note, no walkie talkie, no backpack, no Hoseok.

“What the fuck?” Cole let out in a breathy way.

“He’s probably outside waiting for us dude, let’s just go there” Asa said and both turned around to get out.

“Oh! Asa!” Hyori’s voice shouted. Namjoon and Silvia right behind her as it seemed they had just arrived to complete the challenge.

“Hyo! Again!” Asa chuckled.

“Where’s Hobi?” she asked glancing over his shoulder.

“He’s probably outside!”

“What…?” Hyori asked weakly.

“What happened dude?” Namjoon pointed Cole’s arm with his chin.

“Me and Asa here were the one’s going down but we got trapped. I had to take a door down to get us out of there…” Cole answered. “Hoseok was supposed to be here but he’s probably outside”

“But there’s no one outside” Silvia stated confused.

“Where’s- Where’s Hobi?” Hyori was starting to panic. The way to the cinematic departement was spent by her and Namjoon talking about Carolina’s weird comments on the graveyard. They got genuinely spooked out and tried the walkie talkies, stating indeed there was something wrong with them. Now she was starting to think that wasn’t the only thing that was wrong.

The static noise that by now freaked everyone out interrupted Asa from saying whatever he was trying to say, his mouth opening and closing at Hyori’s question. “Tik tok players, find the last clue to save your buddy here- MHHnMPHHH HEL-” the beep cut the rest, but by the look on everyone’s faces, they knew it was help.

“Hobi-” Hyori gasped.

To be continued…

[tea-blitz]

Alright, I’ve been back long enough to have read through a plethora of kakairu fics, so I guess it’s time to share some of the stuff I’ve found (and maybe drag some other people in this hole with me).

This list is comprised mostly of fics with lower kudos (600 and under). It is by no means a complete list, and you should definitely explore the other works these authors have created!

Please mind the ratings/tags/summaries (will be posting the most relevant tags), and don’t forget to let the writer know you enjoyed it with comments and kudos! Don’t forget to support those WIPs too!

Format:

(link) Title: Status: Word Count: Rating: Pairing(s): Tags: Summary:

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3146960 Title: My Hokage (By YukiSkyes) Status: Complete Word Count: 11k Rating: General Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Hokage!Iruka Summary: “ANBU is darkness, Kakashi. It’s the final frontier for those who either have nothing or everything to lose.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/905997/chapters/1753056 Title: Off-kilter (By Kiterie) Status: Complete Word Count: 8.2k Rating: General Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: N/A Summary: Iruka's always known there's something off about Kakashi, but when Kakashi starts acting even more off than usual, he knows something is going on. Trouble is, it might kill him to find out the truth... quite literally.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11827872/chapters/26692503 Title: Mackerel Sky (By pyroren) Status: Complete Word Count: 13.3k Rating: General Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: N/A Summary: After his parents’ death, Iruka renounced the violent shinobi way, disappearing entirely from the Hidden Leaf Village. As an adult civilian, he finds solace in his peaceful, if solitary, life as a wool farmer on the outskirts of Fire Country. One stormy day, Team 7 and Tazuna find refuge in his farmhouse on their way to Wave Country.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/114435 Title: A Revealing Conversation (By Aviss) Status: Complete Word Count: 1.5k Rating: General Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: N/A Summary: Iruka is not amused when he learns about Konoha's longest running game.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3550394/chapters/7817747 Title: Sealed With A Kiss (By Sandyclaws68) Status: Complete Word Count: 20k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Developing Relationship, Suddenly aware of long standing attraction, Mild Language Summary: Clashing over the chuunin exam winds up putting Kakashi and Iruka on the same side, seeking a common goal. It also forces them to each acknowledge his long standing attraction to the other.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5467574 Title: love, in four parts. (By spycaptain) Status: Complete Word Count: 2.7k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: N/A Summary: (we learn, we laugh, we fear, we begin again.) Kakashi doesn’t look up from his book, but flips the page in an insolent manner - like he’s throwing a minor tantrum, contained perfectly and only expressed through vigorous literary enjoyment. Iruka wants to kill him.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11906769/chapters/26901720 Title: Hunter's Moon (By Maldoror_Chant) Status: Complete Word Count: 10k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Mild Hurt/Comfort Summary: Ninja live and die for their village. Ninja follow orders. Ninja hurt and kill those they are ordered to hurt and kill, including other ninja. Ninja will hunt friends and loved ones if ordered to. Everything else is secondary.

"I promise you I'll survive..."

'Secondary' does not mean 'unimportant'.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/648846 Title: Knowing Me, Knowing You. (By Josey (cestus)) Status: Complete Word Count: 16k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Action/Adventure, Humor, Mission Fic Summary: A simple joint mission goes awry in a way that neither Kakashi nor Iruka could have predicted.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/267468 Title: All Wrung Out (By ericales (anenko)) Status: Complete Word Count: 500 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Humor Summary: "Hey, how about I fuck you?"

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632901 Title: Perspective Shift (By masc_malfunction) Status: Complete Word Count: 3.5k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Injury, Eye Trauma, not graphic, Injury Recovery, iruka centric, Pre-Relationship Summary: When a mishap at the academy leaves Iruka wearing an eye patch for the foreseeable future, he finds unexpected solace and commiseration in Kakashi.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/702148 Title: Upside Down and Sideways (By Kita_the_Spaz) Status: Complete Word Count: 1.5k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Crack Summary: When Iruka and Kakashi encounter an enemy jutsu that winds up putting them in the wrong bodies, things really can't get much worse... can they?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/87118 Title: Taking Care (By theskywasblue) Status: Complete Word Count: 4.1k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Fluff Summary: Iruka gets a cold, and an unusual nursemaid

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19005907 Title: i didn't need the stars to know i love you (By novrik) Status: Complete Word Count: 15.5k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Cheating, possible ooc, Happy Ending Summary: iruka can't read the name on his wrist.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8124838/chapters/18625633 Title: License to Flirt (By Dilly_Oh) Status: Complete Word Count: 5.3k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Humor, Sexual Tension, Driving Lessons..., Or Lack Thereof, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Romance Summary: Iruka really needs to pass this test and get his license. Now if only the hot driving instructor would stop FLIRTING.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/273195 Title: Shinobi Mission: Dating Adventure (By emmykay) Status: Complete Word Count: 2.4k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Humor, Romance, Crack Summary: Dating Kakashi really really (REALLY) isn't what Iruka expected. Kakashi isn't quite sure what to make of Iruka, either.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19371070/chapters/46089433 Title: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.... (By tmo) Status: Complete Word Count: 22k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Adventure & Romance Summary: It is a period of civil war. The Rebel Alliance and the Empire have traded blows for years. The Empire is growing stronger with every attack against it but they had a spy in their midst. Before they could be caught, the spy hid their information away for the Rebels to find. An undercover spy for the Rebels is found aboard an Empire starship. Knowing who this spy is, the Empire have no choice but to blast one of it's own ships out of the sky. Aboard, Iruka Umino is just trying to stay alive.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18394001/chapters/43561142 Title: Fragmentary Assurances (By EternalSurvivor) Status: Complete Word Count: 30k Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Pre-Relationship, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Pre-Genin Umino Iruka, Kyuubi Attack, Childhood Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Kid Fic Summary: For Iruka and Kakashi, everything changed the night of Kyuubi's attack. This is how they coped with the aftermath.

(Or the strangest roommates Hokage-sama ever shoved together))

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16889997/chapters/39670956 Title: Scars and Secrets (By decaf_kitty) Status: WIP Word Count: 30k Rating: Unrated Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Past Domestic Violence, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Alley Blow Jobs, Rimming, Oral SexAnal Sex, Dating Summary: It's the start of fall semester at Konoha College, and Kakashi Hatake has re-enrolled after four years in Special Ops, taking advantage of the GI Bill. He's bored out of his mind and hiding all sorts of scars and burns, both physical and psychological.

His old college friend Gai suggests he help at the Rec Center, working with gifted but troubled kids.

There he meets Iruka Umino, the heroic teacher who doesn't hide his facial scar... who Kakashi absolutely hates with a passion... and wants very much to kiss senseless all night long.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19149067/chapters/45511594 Title: three guys and lessons on botany (By rikacain) Status: WIP Word Count: 10k Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Umino Iruka/Yamato, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka/Yamato, Hatake Kakashi/Yamato Tags: Sex Mishaps, Humor, At least I think it's humor, Konoha is just having a polyamorous dating or fucking culture okay, Friends With Benefits Summary: Iruka is constantly frustrated. Tenzou's Mokuton malfunctions. Kakashi is (marginally) helpful.

Or, why finding out you have a bloodline limit in the middle of getting some is an experience on its own, and the shenanigans just follow.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17831138/chapters/42073652 Title: Night At The Aquarium (By ladyxdaydream) Status: WIP Word Count: 79k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Romance, Feel-good, Family, Humor, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Smut, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Love, parenting Summary: Iruka and Kakashi were comfortable with their new married life. They never really gave children much thought. They liked their freedom (and their uninterrupted privacy), but one night at the aquarium changed everything.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13258152/chapters/30331065 Title: Strange Jutsus and Where to Find Them (By Kaappihomosapiens) Status: Complete Word Count: 14.4k Rating: Not Rated Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Injury, Injury Recovery, ANBU!Kakashi Summary: It was supposed to be the last, easy mission before Iruka could start teaching at the academy. But life isn't that easy, and when he gets hit by a strange jutsu he has to adapt being dependent on Hatake Kakashi of all people.

He should get a prize from not killing a jounin.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9231542/chapters/20936468 Title: Iris (By transkakashi) Status: Complete Word Count: 76.5k Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: seals master Iruka, Sensor Iruka, Mission Fic, Trans Kakashi, Established Relationship, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Marriage Summary: legacy /ˈlɛɡəsi/ noun 1. An amount of money or property left to someone in a will 2. Something left or handed down by a predecessor 3. The sum of our parts: the lasting effect we have on others: what is left when we are gone

(Or, the one where Kakashi and Iruka learn what it means to be together.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/150910 Title: Drunken Kissing Challenge (By thecookiemomma) Status: Complete Word Count: 1.3k Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Kissing Summary: Anko's drunken request leads two rivals to engage in a new challenge. Iruka benefits from it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15220808 Title: This is Not My Beautiful House! This is Not My Beautiful Wife! (By justdoityoufucker) Status: Complete Word Count: 12.2k Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Murder Mystery, Yakuza, Hijinks & Shenanigans Summary: That dealt with (for the very temporary time being) Kakashi turned his mind to the primary issue at hand, namely: the goddamn body that had turned up in one of the first floor bedrooms, and the entire reason he'd cornered Iruka. Or been cornered by Iruka.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9906917 Title: Craving (By denilmo) Status: Complete Word Count: 3.9k Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: If you squint it's KakaIru, but it's mostly Kakashi being a perv, Kakashi on Kakashi, Self-Love, inappropriate use of bunshin, clones were never intended for this, Masturbation Summary: When a promising night fizzles out early, Kakashi's not quite ready to turn in. His wild running imagination about the chunin asleep on his couch doesn't help either.

Or. A steamy shower takes an even steamier turn.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/645980 Title: Perception (By txilar) Status: Complete Word Count: 3.5k Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: N/A Summary: Kakashi learns that Iruka can teach him a thing or two about perception.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/639436 Title: Placement (By imadra_blue) Status: Complete Word Count: 4.5k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Drama, Character Study, Romance, Unconventional Ending, Post-Canon, Character Death Summary: Three years after the Fourth Shinobi World War, Iruka visits a Place in Konohagakure where men go to meet other men. He finds a surprise new visitor: Kakashi, the man who had returned from the war carrying Naruto's body. Their subsequent encounter is fleeting, haptic, yet oddly intense. The promise of more lingers in every touch, but remains unspoken.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12317373 Title: Water Fight (By Hexadecimalrebooted) Status: Complete Word Count: 4.3k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Top Umino Iruka, Bottom Hatake Kakashi, men in lacey underwear Summary: Iruka attacks Kakashi with water balloons. Kakashi gets his revenge and gets laid.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/467213/chapters/807234 Title: The Omega Mandate (By Caeseria) Status: Complete Word Count: 20k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Cyborgs, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, First Time, Blow Jobs Summary: In the far distant future, mankind lives in regimented cityscapes, watched over by World, who governs everything from behavior to touch. Iruka lives a content but unfulfilled life, until he meets a surface-dweller named Kakashi. Little does Iruka realize how much Kakashi's presence will change his life, along with a secret that threatens to destroy mankind.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4974211 Title: That Shirt (By Elevensquared) Status: Complete Word Count: 2k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Dirty Talk, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Iruka swears a lot Summary: Kakashi in a sleeveless shirt is very, very distracting.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/644877 Title: Construct (By samsarapine) Status: Complete Word Count: 26k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: N/A Summary: What makes a man a man?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5464007/chapters/12630950 Title: Of Monsters And Men (By tsuyume) Status: Complete Word Count: 18.9k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Harm to Children, Pre-Canon, Kidnapping, Mission Fic Summary: Monsters lurk in the deep shadows of the Shinobi world. It's up to men accustomed to them to find the traces of children lost in the dark.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15957224 Title: A Man's Allowed to Change His Mind (By Kiyara_Iris) Status: Complete Word Count: 5.3k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka,  Umino Iruka/Hagane Kotetsu, Hagane Kotetsu/Kamizuki Izumo Tags: Drunk Sex, Friends With Benefits, Plot-where-art-thou?, Angst with a little bit of a happy ending Summary:  Iruka knows with Kakashi, it's only one time. Can Iruka deal with the consequences of giving in?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19865359 Title: Thought and Feeling Interwound (By tucuxi) Status: Complete Word Count: 36k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Soul Bond, Jutsu Gone Wrong, Kekkei Genkai | Bloodline Limit, totally invented the bloodline limit, Tropes, Badass Iruka, Paperwork, Pining Self-Doubt Summary: Tsunade walked around the desk and sat directly next to Iruka, turning both of their chairs with a casually powerful grasp. In the end they were facing each other, not the desk. He tried and failed to hold her gaze. She reached out and tipped his chin up, forcing him to look at her again. Another hit landed. This time it came from Iruka's left. It felt like it must have shattered bone, ribs grinding against each other in his chest, and Iruka bit his tongue almost until it bled to keep from crying out.

“Tell me, Iruka-sensei,” Tsunade said. “How long, exactly, have you been feeling Hatake Kakashi’s emotions?"

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305246/chapters/43327082 Title: The Forgotten (By MagnusTesla) Status: WIP Word Count: 11k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, BAMF Umino Iruka, Youkai, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Shapeshifting, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Magic Summary: Iruka has been keeping a secret. One that ends up forever changing Kakashi's life.

Can he overcome this life changing event and reconcile with the person he loves?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/500334 Title: Appetite (By panda_shi) Status: Complete Word Count: 3.8k Rating: Explicit Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Tags: Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk Summary: There is a time when Iruka's desires gets the better of him. And it's really only because of one thing: Iruka is horny.

[wickedlyqueer]

Hey I just recently got into the fandom and want to start reading some gelfie fics but I don’t know any! Could you recommend some? What are the most popular ones?

Hell yeah you do! :D

Since I’ve already made a similar list before I want to start with some awesome current fics (because the fandom has never been more active on AO3! and I want to celebrate that). Since you specifically asked for the most popular ones I’ll also include those that are generally considered the must-read gelphie fics.

CURRENTLY UPDATING

Between The Lines - tiniestgay

You like fake dating AUs? You like the movie To All The Boys I Loved Before? Well, good news! Melissa (@gayforthropp) is doing a gelphie au about this movie and it’s fucking lit. The premise is that Elphaba has written three love letters whenever she really crushed on a girl. Only, these letters make their way out one day and Glinda is one of the recipients… Hmmm. 👀

A Face Like Starlight - TheSecondQueenOfSol 

This fic is so good! It hasn’t updated in a few months, but it’s one of my absolute favorites of 2018 and I can’t wait till the next chapter. It’s a Hogwarts AU (a fluffy one!) and over the years Glinda and Elphaba slowly start an understanding and then some more. It also has enby-Elphie! Need I say more? @themistsoftime is awesome and I hope to see more of their work because it’s amazing.

Expectations - show_me_the_universe

The concept of this fic is so fascinating and creative! Rachel (@two-gay-witches) has decided to create a gelphie fanfic that follows the songs on Hayley Kiyoko’s album Expectations. So reading the chapters, and listening to the songs really makes this fic so original.

It hasn’t completed yet but it’s definitely worth the read! As are all the other AUs she started (rachel, ily, but one fic at a time ;)), but this one stands out to me the most.

Strange, Sweet - neednot

Nita (@need-not) is a master at poetic prose. Honestly, I don’t know how they do it. Strange, Sweet is a Phantom of the Opera-esque AU and it’s as thrilling as it is intriguing and I cannot wait to read more! If you can’t get enough of their work (like I do) you can also read the completed fic Far Safer that is a book-based AU and is really worth your time!

Wiretapped Life - tinyace 

Oz is split in two. Glinda is in her 40s and concocts a plan to ‘disappear’ and tries to find Elphaba, who she hasn’t seen in over a decade. Through her memories, the reader learns about her history, the decisions she took and the relationship she had with Elphaba and how politics ripped it all apart. 

So yeah, I’m writing this fic, but I’m hella proud of it so I’m going to promote it lmao. Note that I rated this fic 16+ mostly for its heavy topics. I can’t stop you as a minor, but please be careful. Because this fic goes deep into complicated politics, trauma and a whole lot more.

I haven’t read every fic out there, but I do know that @splish–splash–sploosh has read every fic on AO3 (and conveniently they also are an active writer with lots of one-shots, definitely worth checking out!) so they might have some more recs for you!

MUST READ (FANDOM FAVES)

Okay now for the ‘popular-who-are-popular-for-a-reason fics’ I’ve made a similar list before. Fics I don’t mention rn are still very much worth checking out. Under a cut bc it’s getting long and most people have seen these before.

Wagyubeefy

Do you like modern AU gelphie? Do you like trans characters? Do you like complex characters that sometimes make bad decisions and them fucking up and dealing with a fuckton of trauma? Boy howdy, you need to read the entire work of Emmanuel right the fuck now. Most work is 18+ so keep that in mind, though. But so fucking good, so incredibly interesting.

RidiculousMavis

The golden standard of gelphie fics and the only reason I’d go on ff.net tbh. It’s all very bookverse and it’s so fucking good. Read their entire oeuvre. They have 8 delicious gelphie stories. It’s so fucking good. All of it is so fucking good!!!!! 

GretchenMaurice

An absolute legend amongst mere mortals. Has written about 750k words solely dedicated to gelphie. Gee (@lily-onher-grave) has taken a well-deserved break, but if you like your slowburn, you gotta go with her work. Loved by the entire fandom. The absolute slowburn queen. What a treasure to this fandom she is. We’re glad to have her.

Beta Nova

You’ll catch me dead before I stop hyping their work. Emerald City Lies is the most perfect fanfic I’ve ever read. It’s witty, the gelphie dynamic is so fucking spot on and it’s INCOMPLETE. AND IT’S WORTH EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF YOUR LIFE OKAY!! A gelphie 80s AU where they are both in tv journalism. Just read it and have an absolute blast!!

tinyace

I asked Melissa if I could put my fics on the ‘fan favorite’ list and she said yes. Closing off, I just wanted to mention my two other completed multi-chapter fics, because I’d love for people to read them!

Walls of Sanctuary can only be described as a fucking rollercoaster. It’s the Wicked characters in a loosely based Hunchback of Notre Dame narrative. There’s romance, death, political resistance, and a ton of gelphie. 

My Bike’s Gone is a fluffy high school AU with a twist: it’s based on the dutch school system! It’s short and sweet (~20k) and people tend to read this after I’ve broken their hearts in Walls of Sanctuary or Wiretapped Life :). I guess I’m titled ‘angst god’ in the discord for a reason. whoops!

Well, that’s my long list for now! There are still some incredible fics that aren’t on this list bc it got so long. So definitely check out some more writers (though I think you’ll be contend with this for a while) because we’ve got some talented fuckers in this fandom! ^^

[fleetofshippyships-archive]

Fanfic Author Meme

Tagged by @diligent-thunder and @rockmarina​ =)

Okay, so I’m me, and I talked way too much, so I’m putting this under a cut to save your dashes. You’re welcome 😘

Please do not reblog this post.

Author Name: 

Fleetofshippyships + Knowyourincantations + Legendaryroar

Fandoms You Write For: 

(in order of decreasing # of fics) Harry Potter, Voltron, Merlin, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Star Wars and then a few one-offs that aren’t really worth mentioning.

Where You Post: 

AO3 primarily, Tumblr, trying to post more on Pillowfort, I also post on a couple of sites for knowyourincantations

Most Popular One-Shot: 

Fleetofshippyships: Potter’s Insatiable Cock (Drarry, Explicit (duh XD), 20k (viewable only for logged-in AO3 users)).

Knowyourincantations: A Decent Start to Things (Pansmione, Teen, 7k)

Legendaryroar: Finding Time for Rest (Sheith (Voltron), Teen, 3k)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: 

RestraintNone of my old multi-chapter fics are available to read at this time and I don’t really write multi-chapter fics anymore.

If oneshot/drabble collections or two-shots count, then:

Fleetofshippyships: Vanilla and Sweet Spices (Drarry, Explicit, 2 chapters, 20k)

and this really doesn’t count, but technically it has multiple ‘chapters’ soooooooooo

Legendaryroar: Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships (Voltron), Explicit (duh), 31 ‘chapters’, 26k)

Favourite Story You Wrote: 

I don’t think I ever have a static favourite, I’ve just written too many things, I too quickly move on to the next (and frequently forget some of my own fics exist XD), but recently I re-read In Pursuit of Red Wine (Dreville, Teen, 29k) and really enjoyed that again, and I am really attached to it cos it was my first longish rarepair fic, kind of proving to myself that I can write longer rarepair stuff. 

I also recently re-read Unburdened (Merthur (BBC Merlin), Explicit, 2k) and really enjoyed that too, had a total disconnect from having written it since it’s been so long, so I was able to read it without self-judging, and oh boy that was nice. 

I’m also quite proud of Healing What’s Left (Parkgrass, Teen, 2k) for some reason, I dunno, maybe the dark political backdrop of the fic, or maybe just cos it’s the first time I’ve written Daphne as the main character and I’m happy with the result and now have some headcanons about her rather than her being an unknown blank character to me. 

I also binge read a lot of my Voltron stuff recently and had big feels over that so....I also specifically enjoyed re-reading The Perks of Skincare (Klance (Voltron), Explicit, 3k) again cos I dunno, I like how I wrote Lance XD and also the Sheith fic I linked earlier is a fav for sure. Shiro/Rest is the ultimate OTP.

It really depends how soon after I write something or when I go back to re-read it as to what my fav is at any given time (or people commenting on it and hyping me up for it again).

Story You Were Nervous to Post: 

Everything. But most recently I was terrified out of my mind before posting: 

Friday Night by the Fire (Harry/Neville, Teen, 583 words) because I have a lot of fears about screwing up trying to write ace characters and somehow not even making that a focal point of the drabble made it even more terrifying,  No More Waiting (TianShan (19 Days), Teen, 2k) because it was a new fandom to write in, Harry Potter and the Maudlin Merman series (Drarry, Teen+ Mature, 3k +6k) due to my feelings of inadequacy because it would be better as long fic but I struggle too much with writing these days to write long fics and can only manage short things. I’d rather write this as a long fic, but then I’d never finish it so connected oneshots are the best I can do right now, but I still feel it’s not good enough and have a meltdown whenever I post one. And speaking of which, I’ve been sitting on the next one for months and should probably just fucking post it already.

Actually, most recently: Minding One’s Limits (Cho/Ginny, G rated, 1.5k), because I gave Cho a disability modeled off my fibromyalgia and wrote a scenario similar to something I’d dealt with myself, it was incredibly uncomfortable to write in the first place, and then terrifying to post, even though it’s so short. But in the end I’m proud I finally wrote about it a bit? I dunno, might take me a while to work up the nerve again though XD (also was my first time writing that ship, so there was a lot of nervousness over that too)

Oh, and I was a super ball of anxiety posting  Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships, Explicit, 31 ‘chapters’, 26k) because for almost all of those it was the first time I was writing those kinks (and some were kind of squicks for me but I wanted to see if I could write them anyway cos I’m dumb like that) and in a lot of cases those ships were completely new for me to write too, in addition to trying to write and post 1 a day, so...yeah. Also that was my first time writing tentacle and human/werewolf smut so...yeah. I was an absolute mess that month and not in a fun way. But I’m still really glad I did it, it was fun =D

In summary, I’m always an anxious mess posting anything, but most especially if it’s something I’ve not written before or is personal to me XD

How Do You Choose Your Titles: 

Most of the time I’m staring down the empty title field in AO3 cursing like a fucking sailor when I choose titles XD Sometimes it’s a line/theme/feeling from the fic. Sometimes it’s totally random and just comes to me. Sometimes I just grasp the first thing that I can no matter how stupid it sounds cos it’s been three days and I still don’t have a title and I’m over it and ready to post before I lose my nerve.

And tbh, it’s only getting harder to think of titles as my number of fics increases, and I’ve now started thinking of the perfect titles only to realise I already have a published fic by that title so....TITLES CAN DIE A FIERY DEATH

Sometimes, not so much anymore, it would turn out that I would give a wip doc a name just so I’d know what it was, sometimes as a joke with whoever was reading it and cheerleading while I wrote it, and then I would refer to it by that and think of it as that so much that when it came time to actually give the fic a title, it was too late and I could not think past that stupid file name, and that’s how Potter’s Insatiable Cock happened, and how I very nearly called a Merthur fic Arthur’s Wanking Tower (saved that one at the last moment thank god cos the tone of that fic is actually really serious and emotional and wtf was I even thinking with that file name and actually I linked to that fic above XD it ended up being called Unburdened). 

Potter’s Insatiable Cock slipped through cos it’s actually relevant to the fic content and I could live with it.

But needless to say, I don’t give my wip docs joke names anymore XD

Do You Outline: 

Only if I never want to actually write the idea...once I outline, it’s over. I can’t write to a detailed plan. It stifles me. I’ll always get stuck having to try and think ahead to the plan, and then I lose the flow and nothing works because I’m a pantser/intuitive/instinctive writer not a planner. Sometimes I jot down ideas but in like, the vaguest of ways, usually more focused on emotional development than actual scenes or events or anything because then I won’t be able to write it (and I rarely stick to those vague ideas anyway). 

I can really only write when I’m staring down a blank doc with no idea where it’s going and discover it as I go (which is why writing is so fun for me). I can only finish a fic if I don’t think too hard about what’s going to happen next and just let it happen as I write. 

This of course means that editing is a fucking bitch when I finish anything, beginnings often get totally re-written, but if I plan, it just doesn't happen at all, so I’ll take the extra editing if it means I manage to write something.

I do have a lot of detailed plotty fic idea outlines...and I mourn them cos I’m never going to write them now, but they’re so goooooooooood XD

Complete: 

Online (across all 3 accounts): 381 (incl. my hidden drarry fics as they are technically online just hidden, not incl. individual oneshots/drabbles in collection ‘fics’, of which there are ridiculously many). Offline: 20 (I have the worst habit of just sitting on completed fics and I really need to stop)

In-Progress: 

Too many to name, last time I counted it was ~60 but that wasn’t even including my vld wips so...I don’t actually know. I hoard wips and just switch up what I work on all the time depending on mood/interest levels/effort required. 

Current main focuses are a 50k+ plotty Drarry (*fingerscrossed* cos this is my first time seriously attempting something long (will probably reach 80k at least) in a very long time and I put it down for a few months and thought that was it but then I picked it up again recently, yay!), and re-writing some hidden fics I can’t put them back up in the quality they’re in, I just can’t guys, they’re awful.

I’ve been thinking a lot about working on the longish 8th year Pansmione fic I started for the wlw big bang before I had to pull out of cos stupid life stuff. I might pick that up again for a bit too, couldn’t be more different from the Drarry one so it’d make a nice focus break =)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: 

I don’t even plan fics I’m writing, I sure don’t plan ahead to stuff I haven’t even started XD The only think I can think of for this category would be me re-writing my hidden long Drarry fics.

Oh, and there will be a Merthur oneshot coming (hopefully) soon, because @april-thelightfury115​ won my custom fic giveaway with a merthur idea. Just waiting for my brain to cooperate so I can start that and not suck XD but I’m so fucking excited to write some Merthur again, you have no idea.

Oh, and lots more Sapphic September drabbles coming too, I’m way behind and only just posted day 11 cos this month is literal hell for me, but I am still planning on finishing the prompt list, no matter how long it takes, but no plan for those, not even which ships, I just sit down with the next prompt and a blank doc and see what happens.

Do You Accept Prompts: 

Yes, I love writing to prompts, I’m take them via google form here, but I’m in such a bad space with my health I’ve been really struggling with writing lately, managed to do a bit of editing (fuck knows how), but writing new stuff is so hard, so there’s a long wait while I wait for my fibro fog to ease off to the point I can write new stuff with more regularity (and less stupid errors I have to edit out later).

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: 

Again, I so don’t plan. But I really want to be making more progress on the long plotty drarry wip I’m trying to write. I’m still not sure I’ll have the guts to post it even if I do finish it, given its subject matter (it would make a great careers or consent fest fic tbh), but damn I’m really excited by it. Not sure I can maintain it being plotty and not revert to focusing on the relationship (which is easier for me), but I can only try and see what happens. (trying to write a non-relationship plot without planning is a nightmare but I don’t have a choice if I want to write it at all XD)

I’m also now excited for my longish pansmione wip too actually, just because it’s already longer than my Dreville long-ish fic and it’s exciting and scary to do longer rarepair stuff. I’m way out of my comfort zone with the fic itself, but I dunno, I re-read some recently and fell in love with it all over again, like, flustered lesbian-awakening, disaster for Pansy (but sure she still hates her) Hermione? YES PLEASE! and also, I am guilty of not writing female characters as much as I should because, well, canonically, they don’t have much depth and I’m very meh about them, but in this there’s a huge focus on them because they’re all determined to band together for 8th year and Hermione is making friends with them (Parvati is like, dragging her along all the time XD) where she once dismissed them so it’s scary but exciting =D I’m getting more practice with all the sapphic I do over on knowyourincantations, so I feel more confident working on this wip now =D

I’m also kind of excited about re-writing my old long fics, because they’re all 3 years old now, and my writing tastes (and skill, yikes) have totally changed, so it’s like I’m writing the story again but how I would write it now while maintaining the overall same plot, so it’s really interesting, like discovering the story all over again. Like in one (Making Malfoy Blush) I’ve gone as far as introducing a new side character to replace another’s parts because I no longer feel those parts are in character for them. It’s super terrifying, but it’s fun at the same time =) it’ll take me forever to do these though, so I dunno about ‘upcoming’ really, I only chip away every now and then when I’m unable to write new stuff but am still coherent enough to do something.

Eh, it is what it is, I can’t write like I used to, hence me being inactive more than active these days, but I’m trying to work within my new limitations instead of getting frustrated with them and just giving up entirely =)

---

Now, who to tag....I think anyone I would tag has already done it, and if not..I blame the fog if I’m forgetting someone obvious, if you wanna do it just say I tagged you so I can be nosy and take a look =)

Again, please do not reblog this post

[wallstagram]

january - march fic recs

this might be a long one, so hold on for the ride! below are some of my favorite, favorite, favorite fics that i’ve read so far in 2019 - some are new works, some are tried and true ones that I always come back to for inspiration, and some just make my heart so happy, that they made it on this list! 

all authors are listed by their AO3 name but linked to their tumblr, if I could find it!

:: J A N U A R Y ::

honestly, such a busy month for me! i spent most of that month focused on school and working on my own fics, but after having a look at my history, these were the works that stood out as favorites!

like an endless summer by objectlesson 

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun. 

OKAY. This story is wonderful. I’m such a sucker for summer camp AU’s, and this one is so drawn out and well done. At 87k, it gets slow burn right without becoming boring. Sweet and sexy moments about facing fears and finding love with all your best friends around. I’m also here to rec the sequel palms reflecting in your eyes because YES.

hymns for restless stars by turnyourankle

Every Holiday season Louis has his pupils write down their Christmas wishes for class. He's read almost every wish under the sun, but one girl's wish takes him by surprise. It's for her uncle not to be alone anymore. It's not a wild wish by any means, but Louis had no idea that former teen idol Harry Styles was lonely in the first place.

this is such a sweet, sweet work that is so near and dear to my heart. It touches on some themes that I feel are downplayed by the fandom (but that rant is for another post, haha) so it was lovely to see it done so well. I just love the characterization and how the whole thing flows from beginning to end. It may be ~38k, but as a 25-chapter fic, I’d consider it an easy read over time, and a story I fully recommend. 

:: F E B R U A R Y ::

a firm believer and a warm receiver by objectlesson

a few months ago, Louis had his first heat. It was no big deal, aside from it being awkward and weird and all the other things it was supposed to be. He figured he would present as an omega, so he wasn’t exactly surprised or anything.

But then, last week, Harry had his first heat, too.

---

Or, the omega/omega sleepover fic no one asked for but y'all really, really need.

so - i’m all about non-traditional pairings, and the ABO verse has been full of amazing ones! While this story is shorter than a lot of my recs (at ~ 11k) it is wonderful and the characterization of H and L is wonderful. Highly recommend this one for anyone who likes ABO.

leave your mark on me by fullonlarrie 

When Chef Harry Styles’ unbonded Omega designation threatens to derail his career, he does the only thing he can, and goes in search of a black market bond.

wow. okay. so this is one of those stories that - it just blows my mind that more people aren’t talking about how amazing this is! it weighs a bit more heavy on the oppressive realities of ABO for omegas, and i love falling into a version of ABO that I could really envision being an alternate reality. I love the style of it, and the pace is exactly what it needs to be. About 32 k, nice slow burn. (if you haven’t seen a theme, I love a good slow burn!)

from, your secret admirer by flicker_album

Or the one where Louis is Harry's Tumblr crush so he sends him secret admirer messages for Valentine's Day

I really love the idea of fanboys!H&L. I loved the real-world touches, and I think the prompt is so stinking cute! It’s a nice, light read. I thoroughly enjoyed the style and just the dialogue set. 

fugue by iwillpaintasongforlou

Harry falls asleep a 17 year-old who lives in Cheshire and is probably rockstar Louis Tomlinson's biggest fan. He wakes up 24 with a wedding ring on his finger, two kids, and Louis Tomlinson attempting to wake him up with a blow job. The doctor calls it organic retrograde amnesia, says he might never get back the last seven years of his life. The only thing that feels the same is how he feels when Louis touches him, and maybe that's enough to make him fall in love all over again

i really think of this fic a lot more than i’d care to admit. there are a few (in my opinion) classics in the fandom that I think everyone should read, and this is surely one of them. there’s the perfect blend of angst and falling in love, dolloped with domesticity, learning to trust each other again, smut, and happiness. i often get so lost in this work that I imagine it’s much longer than it really is (at 17k) but it’s enough to really sink your teeth into and get lost inside of. when i need to be filled up as a writer, these are the kind of works i go to - the ones that have stood the test of time and still are wonderful every single time I come back to them.

:: M A R C H ::

somewhere between a minute and a lifetime by dinosaursmate

“Is your passport definitely in your bag?” “It’s definitely there,” Harry huffed. “I’m not stupid.” “I never said you were, love. I’m just asking from experience.” “It happened once.” Louis pressed his lips together and wheeled his suitcase towards the front door. “And… you really aren’t wearing a plug? You swear?” Harry finally cracked a smile. “I swear.” --- Harry and Louis go on their first big holiday, and they have a few surprises for each other along the way.

so I recommend the whole series, but this third installment is surely my favorite, and the one I come back to. i love holiday fics, and there’s something about this spunky couple that has me following every single word the author has written. I love how witty Harry can be in this, and how nothing about their holiday is picture perfect. all to say - for a smut-centered fic, it knows how to balance an amazing plot and really keep me wanting more. it’s also a nice length at 20k, that I feel satisfied but not like i’ve been reading for forever. i’m really hoping a part four is on the way!

the second hand unwinds by fullonlarrie

Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

this story fucked me up in the best way possible!!! I really read it all in one go, set it aside, and came back to it. Skimmed for the parts i needed to read again, read the entire thing again, and since I read it, it always comes to mind as one of the first fics I’ll recommend out to someone. i already babbled about my adoration for this fic in the comments, so i’ll let you go see for yourself! it’s ~52k of pure gold.

tell me this is paradise by quickedween

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

if you asked me five weeks ago if i’d ever have a girl!direction fic in my list, I would’ve laughed. for some reason, i’ve never been able to fully immerse myself in the plot, really get into it. I just - I couldn’t take it seriously. until this. this fic rocked my entire world. it’s the shortest fic on my list at ~ 5k, so i’ve read it multiple times and would seriously recommend based off the characterization, amazing smut, and the fact that it turned me into a girl!direction believer. (AND it inspired me to go on a similar journey to the one Harry has - but that’s for a different post!) but thank you for converting me to girl!direction, quickedween!

like a siren in the night by whoknows

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

oh, my heart. i love this fic so much. it’s ABO, and it has the perfect level of angst, love, and everything in between. i love the imperfect relationship between H and L - and i’m sure you will too! such a darling, sexy, and wonderful work! (~25k)

salt and the appetite by sadaveniren

Aka Harry, a popular BDSM blogger, writes a negative review about Louis’ club. Louis wants to have a chance to make it up to him.

so i’m a huge fan of anything sada writes, but the no control club series itself is so amazing! i always come back to it for something that I know won’t let me down, that is steamy and perfect! this work that starts off the series is 14k of smut and all sorts of fun, sexy stuff that H and L get up to. if you haven’t already read it, you must be living under a rock. go check it out!

so, that’s the list! thank you to @sadaveniren, @becomeawendybird, @fullonlarrie, @dinosaursmate, @canonlarry, @flicker-album, @horsegirlharry, and @turnyourankle for writing such masterpieces! stay tuned for my next rec list! if you survived reading this entire post, you deserve a medal

[iamnotbrianmay]

The A Experience

Summary: The three times Roger's bandmates said 'I Love You' to him, and the three times he said it back.

Notes: I fucking loved this chapter, writing it, planning it, and reading it over and over. I don't know why but I feel like it's the best thing I have ever writen for this story, even if it's just a time skip chapter. Now, I know what you might all be thinking, you are missing stuff, Maria. What about the Moving in? Or the healing on the part of Roger? But I feel like those things deserve their own fanfic, you know? So what I'm going to do is that once I finish this story I'm going to write their stories. I have planned them out completely already, don't you worry.For all of you who want to know their lenghts:

- Moving In - Three chapters (about 10k - 15k) - Aftermath - Five Chapters (18k - 20k)

So yeah, I hope y'all are as excited as I am for these stories.

the taglist goes as follows: @seven-seas-of-why, @twotitsjohndeacon, @dancindeaky, @gee-uloser, @mozzarellamazzello, @mozzie-s, @deracine-dogma-deux, @shutupanddontjudge, @warping-reality, @demianhill , @zodiacal-dust-and-curls  

Three Months After the Incident;

Surprisingly, Deaky is the first one to say ‘I Love You’ to Roger.

It’s Friday night, and instead of being out with his friends he’s stuck at the flat with a fever. He’s lying in his bed sick and miserable, trying not to feel like the world is ending when he gets the text message that sets the night off.

—Bri: rogieeeeeeeeeee

Roger groaned as he heard the annoying ping! of his phone. He recognized the text-tone he had set for Brian— it was that alone that motivated him to turn over and grab his phone. As he quickly unlocked it his fever-addled brain reminded him that he would have to text back while looking at the painfully bright screen; something that would not help his current pounding headache.

—Bri: why didnt you coem?

Roger frowned as he read the uncharacteristically bad spelling and grammar in Brian’s texts. It was also missing the ever present addition of ‘—Bri.’ a gag that the older man was adamandant on using ever since Roger had complained about his texting style. Then he remembered that Freddie had taken Brian to the newest bar in town, an over the top place called Verona which Freddie seemed to adore, and left him and John to fend for themselves.

As far as he knew Brian never got drunk, or at least had never had gotten drunk until Roger came into his life, which was something he was not happy about. Not that Roger didn’t like when Brian had fun or went out to clubs with Freddie and John, but he couldn’t help but worry that he was a bad influence; that his actions were mirroring Tim’s.

He blinked a few times, trying to will away the drunken typing, but when he looked back the evidence was still there— as clear as day, and a painful as poison. Roger typed out a quick reply, not wanting Brian to think that he was ignoring him.

Taylor: r u drunk?

Roger started biting his lip nervously, thinking about what would follow next in the line of things that he was going to infect Brian with. His feverish brain was all too happy to provide him with answers; everything ranging from his horrible clothing and love for k-pop (of all things!) to things like smoking, sometimes even the occasional joint or other, somewhat more than harmful, substances.

Brian’s answer wasn’t comforting at all.

—Bri: ts nice!

—Bri: would be nicre if u were heer

Roger shut his phone off without answering. Unable to get comfortable, he threw the covers off and wobbled into the kitchen. So what if he was sick? He was in desperate need of a drink— maybe two—something that had been strictly forbidden by the other boys in the house now that his body was shivering with fever and he was taking medicine for his rattling cough and  sore throat.

They had been performing in an outdoor stage a week ago when Roger started to feel this way, light headed and extremely hot. As the night went on he felt progressively worse and by the time they had finished playing he was feeling like death warmed over. After their final song the small restaurant crowd had cheered and while the others had felt high with the adrenaline rush, Roger just wanted a hot drink and a place to rest, like a coffin.

The next morning he had woken up with an aching throat, runny nose and a fever. He felt as if someone was sitting on his chest and was unable to get out of bed without feeling like he was going to pass out. Sleeping alone didn’t make him feel any better; since he had moved in he and Brian didn’t need to share a bed anymore, quite possibly the only negative of his new living situation. Living with them all also meant he had a front row seat to what he had done to the older man and he wasn’t sure he deserved to share his bed anyways.

Roger unscrewed the lid from the bottle of cheap Vodka he had stuffed deep into the back of the pantry and poured himself a glass. He knew his bandmates would give him a hard time if they found out about it, but at this point he didn’t really care all that much. He only stopped when the glass was half full, clear liquid twinkling in the kitchen light, promising some relief. Roger put the cap back on and stuffed the bottle back where it belonged.

His plan to get shitfaced was regretfully cut short when he turned around to find John standing in the doorway, his head tilted to the side and his arms crossed over his chest. His stare wasn’t angry or annoyed, but a mix of curiosity and concern. “I could have sworn we told you not to drink while sick.”

Roger’s fingers twitched as his grip tightened on the glass, a little afraid that John was going to take it away from him.

“I needed a drink,” he explained.

John sighed, nodding for Roger to follow him into the living room, and for some strange reason he followed. They sat on the couch together, legs crossed, then John said something that surprised him, “If you can give me a valid reason as to why you need a drink I will let you finish that glass. I might even join you.”

Roger’s eyes widened, and he was about to ask what had come over John before the younger man interrupted him.

“We will talk about that, or about something else if you want to, until Freddie and Brian come stumbling through the door, after which we become four drunks instead of two. I promise I will do this, but you have to give me a valid reason.”

Ever since Roger had moved in John, though quiet and often introverted, had been extremely supportive, keeping him standing on his own two feet when he started to feel like the room seemed was spinning out of his control. In moments exactly like the one they were having right now. He was staring at Roger with a patient smile, one hand resting lightly on his knee and the other extended so that Roger could put the glass on his palm. It seemed like a fair trade, a reason for a drink. So nodded in agreement and handed John his vodka.

The younger man smiled, placing the alcohol on the table before turning back to Roger and started idly tracing circles on his knee. Roger sniffed twice (damn his runny nose) and thought about what to say. Fuck it he thought, before letting the words pour out of him. It was as if someone else was talking, telling John about his worries and his guilt, but he was still very much present as he watched his friend react to all he was saying. He could the various emotions in his eyes, his expression changing from neutral to angry, then flickering again to sadness. Roger heard his own voice, the tone in which he spoke, soft and sad and urgent— even if he wasn’t quite in control of the words he was saying. What he noticed most of all was how tenderly John reached out with a tissue to dry the tears (when had he started crying?) that were sliding down his cheeks as he spoke.

When Roger returned from his— well he didn’t quite know what to call it apart from an “out of body experience” but that didn’t seem quite right— he looked away from John. Suddenly he was aware and ashamed of the fact that, one, he didn’t quite know what he had said, and two, probably had over-shared to someone who didn’t want to hear his personal battles. It had been different than when he had told Brian, he had been hyper-aware of every word he was saying and how Brian would hear it; making sure that he didn’t make a fool of himself. With John however it was almost as if his mind had switched to autopilot, and he remained unable to act on anything beyond registering John’s emotions and thinking ‘Oh god, what am I doing?’

One moment he was trying to justify his reason for a damn drink, the next he was ripping open his chest, everything bared before John’s eyes. He prepared himself for anger, or disgust, or maybe even John telling him what he most feared; that he was right. He would tell him that he needed to back off; keep as far away from Brian as possible. Instead John, the least touchy-feely member of their group, leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Roger’s shoulders. Putting one hand between his shoulder blades and one on the back of his head, then resting his head on the side of Roger’s neck.

He didn’t know if it was the fever or if he’d always been that soft, but the gesture was enough to break Roger. He gripped the back of John’s shirt and was unable to stop the hot tears that escaped. John simply held him, didn’t pull away or complain about the puddle of tears and snot he was probably making on his shirt; he just let him cry for as long as he needed to.

When he finally untangled himself from John, the younger man pressed their foreheads together, and smiled at Roger, “Y’know, I love you, Rog.” he gave Roger’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

That made Roger chuckle, the last few tears that had been left in his eyes streamed down his face, and neither of them bothered to dry them, “I love you too John, don’t know how we’ll break this to Freddie and Bri though.” John smiled, glad to see even a glimmer of his friend’s regular self.

They stay like that for a few minutes, eyes closed and foreheads pressed together before John pulled back. Roger wanted to whine at the loss of contact, but John took his hand in his instead; it wasn’t quite the same, but it was still comforting.

John took a deep breath, “You aren’t like Tim, you do know that, right Rog?”

Rogers eyes flew open and he looked at John, his grey eyes watching him, his expression serious and sincere. Suddenly Roger feels a flush of anger.

“How can you say that?”

John seemed unfazed by his anger, “I find it quite easy to tell the truth.”

“John—”

“Roger,” His tone is not angry, but he cuts off Roger’s rebuttal. Roger resentfully closes his mouth, his body trembling slightly as John continues. “You are not him. You will never be him. And just because you showed Brian how to enjoy more than one drink does not mean that you are following in his footsteps.”

“But John—”

“Did Brian ever refuse a drink?”

Roger hesitates, “No, but–”

“Did you force him to drink?”

Roger frowned, “Kind of—?”

“Oh bullshit!” John snapped, “You didn’t force him to do anything, Roger. Brian is soft, yes, but he can also be a stubborn son of a bitch. If he wanted to stay sober he would have, be it by telling you to fuck off or by sipping on a coke or something.”

“If I’m not a bad influence then why is he keep drinking more now?”

John shrugged, “Simple, he likes it.”

“That’s why,” Roger insisted, “I did that! Brian liking alcohol is my fault! Just like it was Tim’s fault that I began smoking.”

The silence that followed was deafening and John’s hard stare softened, “Look, Roger I know this will be hard to believe, but Brian had actually tasted alcohol before you came around. I will not sit by and let you torture yourself for something that is not your fault! This isn’t something that anyone can be blamed for alright? Brian is just going out and doing things normal twenty-one-year-olds do. If anything, you helped him loosen up, brought him out of his shell a little. It’s a good thing! ”

“Deaky…”

“No, I’m serious. As long as it doesn’t become a destructive habit, I don’t see any harm.”

Roger thought about that for a moment, “As long as you help him quit if it gets out of hand…”

John scoffed, “Of course we will! That’s what family is for.”

He said it so matter-of-factly, Roger yearned for that kind of belonging.  Warmth filled his chest at the thought of someday being part of their family, someday being called Deaky’s brother, or Freddie’s “constant annoyance”. Maybe even Brian’s significant other. But for the time being he would happily settle for friend, roommate, and bandmate. “Now, about that drink...”

John groaned, “I was kind of hoping that you had forgotten about that,” he reached for the glass, taking a swig before handing it to Roger, “but a promise is a promise.”

Roger brought the glass to his lips but hesitated, “Wait, do you think anything bad will happen if I drink while on this medication?”

John shook his head, “Naw, it’s over-the-counter stuff. Not strong enough to kill you, but it’s strong enough to get you hammered faster than usual.”

The grin that spread across Roger’s face was mischievous, to say the least, “Perfect.”

The funny thing was that when Brian and Freddie finally stumbled in an hour later, they were the ones who had to get John and Roger to bed, not the other way around.

Five Months After the Incident:

The next one to say I love you to Roger is Freddie.

The flat was silent when Roger woke up, except for the quiet snores coming from Brian’s side of the room. He rolled over and frowned once he saw the ungodly hour at which he woke up. Still, he was feeling much better after recovering from that god-awful flu and couldn’t help but smile at Brian’s strangely adorable snoring.

Deciding he might as well get up and make some coffee, he peeled back the covers and moved around the room as silently as he could to avoid waking the other man.

As he slowly shut the door behind him and turned towards the kitchen he realised that he wasn’t the only one awake. Usually the most likely to sleep in ‘till noon, Freddie, was deep in concentration; scribbling on a piece of paper, shoulders hunched and hair tied back into a low ponytail. There was soft murmuring every few seconds and Roger decided to clear his throat to avoid scaring him when he walked into the kitchen.

Freddie man turned around, and Roger was quick to notice his watery eyes his slightly red nose. He rushed forward then, placing a hand on Freddie’s back, “Fred are you okay? You haven’t caught my cold have you?”

Freddie made a gesture with his hand, “No, no I’m fine Roger. I don’t know what came over me.”

Okay now Roger was really worried about him. “You don’t cry easily.”

“I know.”

“And when you do, you do it in private.”

“How is it you know so much about me already and we haven’t even recorded our first album?”

“I notice things” Roger shrugged. “And we’ll get there soon. But don’t change the topic, Freddie. What’s wrong?”

The older man bit his lip, looking at Roger with misty eyes before he seemed to accept that Roger wasn’t going to back off until he got an answer. His brown eyes flickered back to the paper on the table and Roger followed his gaze.

It was quite messy, doodles and lyrics seemed twined together in a cacophony of colours and notes, but the song was there. And in between the doodles of flowers, hand-holding, and the disturbing picture of someone with their eyes, mouth and ears covered, were some of the rawest lyrics Roger had ever read.

He could hear the sad notes of a ballad, the sweet puring of John’s Bass and Brian’s Red Special, he could sense the sadness behind the piece, and for some reason dreaded getting to the end.

Then he read the last line and it all made sense. ‘... ‘cause regardless of the words I’ve said, I’ve never had the courage to say I’m sorry.’

He could see how the hands which were intertwined resembled his and Brian’s hands. One had the tell-tale scar that Roger bared on his thumb and the other hand had its nails painted white. The flowers on the sides seemed random enough, but Roger had been around Freddie enough to know anything Freddie drew was seldom random. And only after close inspection did Roger realise that the man looked like him, long blond hair, feminine features, and suffering in silence. He’d known Freddie had a knack for drawing but this was...

They were both quiet for a long time, and Roger wondered if Brian or John would wake up before they managed to say what was on their minds. The words seemed to be stuck inside of him and he found himself unable to drag his eyes away from the paper. Roger wasn’t sure he could speak to Freddie even if he wanted to.

In the end Roger he didn’t have to.

“You know, I never said sorry for what I did to you.” Freddie said quietly.

When Roger finally turned towards the older man he couldn’t help but feel pained, because his friend genuinely believed that it had been his fault, somehow. That somehow Freddie was expected to know that one of his oldest friends was an asshole behind closed doors; and that the world was small enough for Brian’s old crush to be his ex.

“You didn’t need to,” his voice came out as a pathetic croak, and Roger cursed himself internally.

“Of course I did, darling,” he whispered back, “of course I did. If it wasn’t for me you would have asked Brian on that date of yours. If it wasn’t for me, you would have had a nice night, if it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t have—”

Freddie looked away, hastily brushing away a tear that had broken free.

“It was my fault that night went so horribly wrong and the worst part is that I never had the balls to say I’m sorry.”

For the first time in his life Roger Taylor was happy that he woke up at six in the morning and that he had decided to stay up instead of rolling over and going back to sleep. God knows if they would be having this conversation otherwise.

Roger was glad for the quiet of the apartment, for the fact that right now they were the only ones awake. It was only because it was so quiet that Freddie was able to hear the words Roger whispered next.

“Freddie, look at me.”

The singer hesitated before turning his head around, and Roger kneeled beside his chair so that they were at the same level.

“What happened that night was my fault as much as it was yours.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but Roger brought a finger up and placed it across Freddie’s lips.

“By which I’m saying that it’s not your fault at all.”

A loose floorboard creaked in one of the bedrooms but Roger ignored it for the time being, knowing he needed to get this off his chest.

“It’s taken me months to realise it, but what happened that night wasn’t anyone’s fault but Tim’s.” Roger finally lifted his finger off Freddie’s lip, “It took me months ‘till I realised that, and it may take you months to realise that too, but that’s okay. I’ll be here to remind you if you ever doubt it.”

There was a short silence before Freddie smiled, “I should be the one comforting you.”

“Nah,” Roger said, for the first time in months not feeling like a fragile mess.

“I’ve had more than my fair share of comforting words. Now it’s time for me to comfort you. This friendship goes both ways right?”

Freddie blinked owlishly, which was a very rare expression for him. “What did we do before you came into our lives, dear?”

“Crash, burn, and tease poor Brian mercilessly?” Roger shrugged.

They both started laughing at that, Roger leaning forward to put his head on Freddie’s lap and Freddie running his fingers through Roger’s blond locks, “Seriously Freddie, you don’t have to sorry.”

“But what if I want too?”

Roger considered that for a moment, “Then I guess I’ll take it. But only if it’s the last time you say that to me, deal?”

“The last time ever?”

“No dufus, about this particular topic! I’ve known you for a while now, give me some credit. You’re bound to fuckup something sooner or later.”

There was a short breathy laugh that filled Roger’s heart with love, and then Freddie bent down to press a quick kiss on his head. “I’m sorry, darling. For everything.”

“I know, Freddie.” Roger answered, “And it’s okay, I forgive you.” It was odd how much lighter things felt between the two of them.

For a second Roger wondered how he had gotten so lucky, how he had managed to find this small home away from home, this group of people which he understood so well. His boys, who he could fight with and insult, only to make up a few hours later as if nothing had happened. Roger also wondered how he had survived before this, before them.

“You know, I’m starting to have these really cheesy thoughts about how much I love you,” Freddie whispered as he resumed running his hands through Roger’s hair, and Roger’s feelings seemed to be amplified by three hundred.

“Oh good god,” he said teasingly, his words slightly muffled, “ you and John!? Now we’re really going to have some explaining to do to poor Brian!”

Freddie smacked his head playfully and Roger chuckled. “I love you too, Fred. Very much.”

There was another long moment of silence in which Roger considered closing his eyes and drifting off. He wasn’t comfortable, or particularly sleepy, but Freddie’s hands worked like magic on him, and the only way he managed to snap out of his haze was when Freddie spoke again.

“Okay, I know Brian said pestering you was completely off limits, but honestly darling I’m dying to know.”

Roger regretfully lifted his head to look at him, “What’s up?”

“Are you in love with him?” Freddie asked, “Or do you at least like him a little bit after all this time?”

Roger realized he didn’t feel uncomfortable talking about this with Freddie. Maybe it was the honest curiosity in the man’s voice, or the way that they seemed to be baring their souls for each other to see this morning, but Roger let out a dreamy sigh.

Then wrinkled his nose at his reaction.

“Freddie you have no idea,” he groaned, getting up and sitting up on the other chair so that he could look at the older man. His voice was no longer dreamy, it was rather like he was annoyed at himself, for betraying his feelings so easily, “I think he’s making me stupid! I really can’t find another explanation for what I feel. It’s like he walks into a room and it becomes brighter, he plays guitar and it sounds perfect, and he smiles— oh god, don’t get me started on his smile.” His head hit the table with a soft thunk.

Freddie chuckled, “You really are fucked, aren’t you?”

“Beyond belief,” he answered, matter of factly. He looked back up, “Honestly, Fred, it’s gotten ridiculous! That man could ask me to roll around on the floor like a dog and I wouldn’t even bother to ask what for.”

At that Freddie laughed loudly, throwing his head back and bringing a hand to his chest, while Roger sat across from him feeling pathetic, “It’s absurd, it really is.”

Freddie looked at him slyly, “Then tell him.”

Roger could feel his heart start to race, could hear the heavy beat. The thought of being Brian’s something terrified him beyond belief, made him feel like he was standing on the edge of a precipice, one step from plummeting to the ground. His palms actually started to sweat. Roger often thought of relationships being somewhat similar to base jumping. You put your life on the line to jump into the great unknown, all the while your actions or a faulty parachute could mean the difference between life and death. How could you do that when you don’t know how it’s going to end? Roger felt like he couldn’t rely on himself not to mess things up epically. For one, he didn’t really know how to be in a relationship. For another matter, did they ever really go well? Looking back at his past experiences, Roger just wasn’t sure.

He couldn’t do that to Brian, could he?

He couldn’t risk starting a relationship, all the while lugging his emotional baggage, his uncertainties, and his broken way of handling romantic feelings. Hell, Brian himself had admitted didn’t know what he was doing! It was terrifying and tempting at the same time because while he wasn’t sure he could give Brian what he deserved, god how he wanted to try.

“You’ll never know until you do,” Freddie said. Oh god, Roger didn’t realize he’d said that last part out loud.  “I may be a hopeless romantic but I care about my friends. You and Brian have something darling, don’t you think that’s worth the risk?”

“You think?”

“I know,” Freddie stated, “and I also know that whole ‘If you really love them, let them go’ thing is absolute bullshit, and I will murder you if you try to do that to Brian.”

“You wouldn’t murder me,” Roger said confidently.

“And why not?”

“Simple,” he replied, getting up to make them both some coffee, “who is going to help you choose your outfits? Deaky? Brian?”

Freddie made a face, “Goodness, you’re right, I can’t murder you. I’ll find another way to get you Taylor!”

Six Months After the Incident:

Unsurprisingly, the last one to say I love you is Brian.

They’d just finished recording the first song for their album after hours and hours of recordings and lyric tinkering. But by the end of the night Seven Seas of Rhye was finally ready. Which meant they only had nine more songs to record before their first album would be complete.

Brian and Roger  were under direct orders not to go inside the flat that evening unless they wanted to hear things that might scar them for life, so after recording they took off to find a nice place to eat. Somewhere they could celebrate this (significant!) small victory, their one step closer to fame and notoriety.

They walked around downtown, searching for somewhere that looked decent but cheap enough for them to properly celebrate, and in the end they settled for an 80’s themed restaurant. The bright lights and colours drew them in, and they stayed because of the smell wafting from the kitchen.

The place looked promising, with reasonable prices, great music and greasy food that seemed perfect for the occasion. Rogers stomach started growling at the prospect of a burger and fries. They slid into a booth, and he started tapping a rhythm on the rubik's cube themed table.

“D’you think we would have fit in more in the eighties?” Brian asked randomly.

The question took Roger by surprise, but he didn’t have to think twice about the answer, “Are you kidding me? Of course not! Are you crazy? What would people in the eighties think about four gays in a glam rock band? The press would have eaten us alive!”

Brian laughed, then shrugged, “I guess you have a point, but our music fits the era quite well, don’t you think?”

“Oh, perfectly,” Roger agreed, “And so do our stage costumes. But then again, I’d rather not be closeted and miserable, thank you very much.”

“What concert would you have liked to play in?”

Roger raised his eyebrows, “Is that even a question? Live Aid, of course.”

“‘Cause of Led Zeppelin?”

“‘Cause of Led Zeppelin.” Roger could imagine himself on that stage, playing for millions of people, and breathing the same air Led Zeppelin had done a few hours before, “I could kill a man to be there.”

“So could I.” Brian agreed.

The waiter arrived with the menus, interrupting their conversation, and started talking to them about the daily specials. They ended up ordering the chef recommended hamburger with cheese fries and a milkshake to share. He smiled and left them alone to discuss whatever they had been before he had arrived, walking away with a suggestive swing to his hips, and a wink towards Brian.

Roger could see the man’s appeal, his sandy blond hair, large brown eyes and long limbs. If his heart hadn’t been completely enamoured with Brian he might have even thought about asking for his number. But how could he? The guitarist was right there, looking like an 80’s god in his loose white shirt, chocolate-brown curls framing his face. Brian, however, seemed very affected by the waiter’s attention, Roger could see a blush blooming across his cheeks.

The younger man could hear his heart, and Freddie for that matter, screaming in protest as he placed his hands over Brian’s, “You could ask for his number, you know? I don’t want to stand in your way.”

Brian frowned and tilted his head in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

Roger nodded his head towards the counter where the waiter was leaning, talking to the chef, presumably about their orders.  “About blondie over there. He looked like he was interested in getting more than just your order.”

“Yeah well, he should know better than to hit on someone who’s clearly taken.” He said indignantly.

They both fell silent, the implication of Brian’s words finally hit him, and the night rapidly turned into a game of who could blush the deepest shade of red.

“ Oh god, that’s embarrassing. I’m sorry Roger. And rude, definitely more rude than embarrassing. I know we’re not, you’re not not my anything yet but I sort of— I don’t know what came over me, Rog, I’m sorry.”

The thought came unbidden Brian’s so cute when he’s jealous and Roger couldn’t contain the giggle that bubbled up in his throat. It was a nervous little thing, and it escaped him without his consent. But once he started he couldn’t stop, even though he knew how embarrassing he must sound; because of all the things he could have done, his body decided to start giggling like a twelve-year-old school girl.

And as much as he loved the way Brian was looking at him amusedly, like he had hung the moon and stars, it was very much not funny. He looked like an idiot, he sounded like an idiot, and he couldn’t stop the bloody thing from escaping his lips. He tried covering his mouth with his hand, but to his dismay Brian just seemed to think that was cuter judging by his expression.

“Oh Lord,” He said between giggles, “I hate myself.”

That seemed to be enough to make Brian join in. He started to giggle quietly, trying to cover his face with both hands, and failing miserably to contain the sound of laughter. Maybe it was how tired they both felt, maybe the lack of sleep from trying to work, study, and record an album was finally catching up to them, or maybe it was the emotional exhaustion from trying so hard to repress their feelings for each other’s sake. But by the time the waiter came back with their food they had barely said another word, yet their stomachs hurt and their eyes were wet with tears caused by laughing for so long.

They managed to contain themselves long enough to thank the waiter, but once he had left Brian looked at him with twinkling eyes, and a mischievous expression. Roger wiped his eyes, “Brian, no. Please stop. It hurts.”

The older man put his hands up, “I’m not doing anything! I was just trying to apologize seconds before you had your hysteria attack.”

“Yeah well,” He tried to defend himself, “you started laughing with me!.”

“Couldn’t help it,” Brian said, “You’re just way too cute.”

Suddenly Roger didn’t feel like laughing anymore. He blushed madly, looking down to his greasy burger and french fries. Brian seemed to sense his change in mood, and instantly tried to make it better, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight. It seems I can’t help but put my foot in my mouth!”

“It’s fine, really Bri” Roger said as he stuffed a fry into his mouth, “I’m just not used to being the one blushing.”

“Oh,” Brian raised his eyebrows, “How so?”

Roger rolled his shoulders “Well, I’m usually the one doing the flirting, and not being a mumbling, blushing, mess. I guess you’ve changed me, Brian Harold May.”

“Have I?”

“Greatly,” Roger looked up at Brian through his lashes, the older boy was looking at him with curiosity, “I didn’t think I’d ever want to have a relationship with anyone after— well, you know.”

He stuffed another fry into his mouth, chewing and swallowing it before continuing.

“Ever since I came out of that shithole I’ve been a shag and run kind of guy. Never thought I would like someone as much as I like you.”

“And that’s why you’re trying to set me up with the waiter?”

Roger shrugged, “I don’t think I deserve someone like you. I don’t deserve you waiting for me, taking me out, indulging my tantrums and moods. I’m not worth all of this, Brian.”

Brian May never cursed openly in public, so when he felt the guitarist grab his hand and say “that’s bullshit”, he knew he was in for a rant. Roger braced himself for an angry explanation of what the guitarist thought about what Roger had just said. Maybe with a few ‘Deaky warned me about this’ thrown in there, but what he received was much better than he had expected.

“I love you, Roger Taylor,” he started, and Roger snapped his head up so fast he nearly got whiplash, “I love you for everything you are, and everything you aren’t. I love the way you play drums, the way you care for people, the way you smile, the way you giggle at the most inappropriate times. I just so happen to find you the most interesting person on the face of earth. And if that’s not worth waiting for, I don’t know what is.”

“Brian, I—”

“No, let me finish,” Brian interrupted him, “I know this might seem silly, or straight up delusional, coming from someone you only just met seven months ago, when you pretended to be my boyfriend, but I think I think I’m falling love with you. No, I know I am. So stupidly ass-backwards in love that I am willing to wait for you. And if I have to wait fifty years for my first proper kiss, or my first proper shag, then so be it.

I waited three years for someone that wasn’t worth it, I can wait a hell of a lot longer for someone who is worth everything.”

That was the first time in Roger’s life that he was left truly speechless. Sitting in the middle of the night, eating the best french fries he had ever had, looking at Brian May as the other boy stared at him like he was the most precious being in the universe. He felt as if he had forgotten how to speak, forgotten how to move, how to breathe, how to think.

His brain was short circuiting as he tried to find an answer to what Brian had just said, and then when his brain seemed to fail completely he opened his mouth and let the words that first came to mind spill, “I...I love you, too.”

“Good,” Brian leaned back and popped a fry into his mouth, “that’s all I could hope for.” He grinned.

“But I’m not ready yet.” Roger cautioned.

“And that’s okay.”

Roger blinked once, “Are you kidding me?”

Brian raised an eyebrow, “Does it look like I’m kidding?”

“No.”

Brian took another sip of the milkshake, “That’s because I’m not. I was serious about waiting for you to come around. I’ll wait for as long as you need me to wait, as long as you love me too.”

Roger mulled over the idea of Brian’s love; his unorthodox, patient, unselfish way of loving. He’d wait for Roger until he was ready. That was...wow...he felt like he was floating, like the ground and all of his troubles were thousands of miles away as Brian smiled encouragingly back at him. He felt his heart flutter with something that felt suspiciously like hope.

“You really don’t mind?” He asked again

Brian shrugged, “I’ve survived twenty-one years being single. I think I can manage a few more as long as I get my daily dose of cuddling.”

He could tell Brian was joking about the last part by the glint in his eyes, but Roger smiled nonetheless, and nodded, “ I may, on occasion, need to hop in with you and take you up on that.”

“Good.” Brian grinned.

They ate the rest of their meal with an easy banter between them, chatting about everything and anything. Roger felt his shoulders relax, and his mind completely invest itself in the conversation. Brian animatedly talked about stars, and guitar chords, then about songs about stars, and Roger couldn’t help but feel that even with all the drama that had resulted, he had made the right choice by swiping right.

In the end, when the restaurant was closing and it was late enough for them to deem it safe to go back home, Roger was exhausted. They walked hand in hand, talking and laughing. And then when they got to their building Roger pulled Brian aside.

All it took was for him to look into Brian’s hazel eyes to make a choice. He stood on the tip of his toes and kissed the corner of Brian’s mouth. It was short and chaste, but Brian looked as if he had won the lottery.

“What was that for?”

“Reassurance.”

“Of what?”

“Of what’s to come, dummy. Now open the door, I’m freezing!”