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rika90 · 3 years ago

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Die Reise des Raben Chapter 3

Kaz Brekker x female reader

warnings: As always. violence, death, swearing

word count: 5k

A/N: Next chapter! Hope you enjoy it!! Please tell me what you think.

She hadn't meant to really consider Kaz's offer. It would only cause trouble if she joined the Dregs. Kaz was damn smart, and it would only be a matter of time before he put two and two together. Then questions would arise. Questions she was not ready to answer. Not yet. Or maybe never. But it had been a good excuse to leave him and the wraith mostly unharmed.

After three days she had to admit to herself that she should actually consider his offer. Dime Lions lurked outside the waffle shop she worked at all the time. The barrel suddenly seemed to be swarmed with them. Kaz had been right, Pekka Rollins was looking for her. What he would do with her once he found her, Keira couldn’t even imagine. But it most certainly wasn't good.

Maybe it was time to finally give up the black coat and mask once and for all. Wasn't that exactly what she had been trying for years? If she lived with the Dregs, she wouldn't need the jobs to survive. She would have a home, she would no longer be alone, she could escape the darkness of the wakizashi. It was the perfect opportunity to get rid of them. These were things she had never allowed herself to dream of. And now Kaz of all people offered her all these things on a silver platter.

'This will be a new start. I can once again decide for myself who I want to be.'

Just this last job tonight and from then on she would only be Keira.

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On the way to the Slat, Kaz' thoughts wandered from meeting Anne, if that even was her real name, to the upcoming robbery. The next evening, he and his crows would steal a valuable necklace from a wealthy merchant. There was a ball - the perfect distraction. The plan was already laid out. Just like the Back Up Plan, and the Back Up Plan for the Back Up Plan.

"Can you still do the job at Drungs?" Kaz asked, already going through possible alternatives in his head.

"Yes. It's just a scratch, her aim was off," Inej replied.

Kaz raised an eyebrow. "How did she even notice you?"

Inej looked to the side and her lips pressed together into a thin line. "No idea. I must have moved when I thought she wasn't looking. I didn't expect her to be so attentive of her surroundings."

"That is probably one of the reasons why she survived alone in the barrel for so long. People underestimate her," Kaz speculated.

When Kaz and Inej entered the Slat, Rotty joined them.

"What's going on, Rotty?" Kaz asked as he climbed the stairs to his room. Inej disappeared in the direction of her room to take care of her wound.

"I heard that Rabe has a job at Drungs' house tonight."

Kaz stopped and looked at Rotty with raised eyebrows. "Rabe? They haven't been active for a long time."

"Just because one hasn't heard about it doesn't mean they weren't active, boss. Seldomly someone is stupid enough to speak about an assignment."

"That's true, but they are not exactly subtle. In Ketterdam a slit corpse is just as clear as if they left a business card there" Kaz said and continued on to his office. "Has anyone else found out about their task besides you?"

"I can't say for sure."

Kaz thought about it. Rabe wouldn't be there for the necklace but to take someone down. Once the body was found, there would be a big commotion and the house would be swarming with the statdwatch in no time.

"Damn it," Kaz muttered. "We have to strike earlier than planned to be through with the robbery before Rabe does their job. Tell Jesper and Inej to come to my office."

"Right away, boss," Rotty replied and hurried down the stairs.

'Damn Rabe,' Kaz thought. 'Today of all days you have to celebrate your comeback.'

Kaz was annoyed that he had to adjust his plans at such short notice, but he was also eager to see if he would meet Rabe again tonight.

Last time she had saved his life – and that already for a second time.

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Flashback

2 years prior

Kaz ran over the roof of the bank. How had this plan gone so catastrophically wrong? Who had betrayed their plan and set the whole damn statdwatch on them?! Kaz came to a gasping halt at the edge of the roof. Dead-end. Crap! What should he do now? He looked around and saw two men of the guard approaching. Any second, they would be close enough to shoot him. So, he made up his mind - and jumped.

The impact was painful. Kaz groaned when there was a crack, and he felt a searing pain in his right leg. He rolled over to be as close to the wall and out of the line of fire as possible.

Kaz knew that the jump had only given him a head start of a few minutes. Maybe less. At any moment, this side of the bank would be searched by guards as well. He tried to pull himself up, but as he put weight on the injured leg, he felt sick with pain. Black dots danced in front of his eyes. He had to close them briefly and slumped back to the floor. He was sitting against the wall, breathing hard, when he heard the guards calling over him.

"Hey, over here, here-," but the man suddenly fell silent. Kaz flinched as the two guards hit the ground. Both with their throats slit.

Kaz breathed a sigh of relief. One of the other dregs must have got there in time. But who? They had all fled in different directions to force the guards to split up. He saw a rope fall from the roof and a figure completely clad in black let themself down on it. What the hell? He would recognize this figure everywhere. It was Rabe.

When she got down, she first looked around carefully to make sure they were alone and then quickly walked towards him. As she got closer, he could see black patterns on her hands that went up to her arms and disappeared under her coat. 'Tattoos?' Kaz wondered.

"We have to get out of here as soon as possible. Can you walk?" she asked. Just like back then at the dock, her voice was only a low whisper. 'She whispers so I can't recognize her voice,' Kaz thought.

"Yes, everything is splendid. I just enjoy the peace and quiet here. Shit no, my leg is broken, and I can't put any weight on it without throwing up," Kaz replied irritated. Why did Rabe have to find him in such an embarrassing situation. He owed her enough already.

"Wow, very graphic. Well, then I'll support you until we're far enough away and maybe splint your leg," she replied calmly. She knew Kaz must be in pain and probably a little ... tense from the escape.

Kaz' pale face took on a slightly greenish tone, as if he were about to throw up. He leaned away from her as much as possible. His whole posture showed his dislike for her idea.

"Listen, if you don't want my help, just say so," she hissed and was about to turn around.

"No, wait!" Kaz yelled and held out his hand in her direction. She was his only chance to get out of here. He had to explain it somehow.

"It's not because I don't want your help. I'm not thrilled to owe you any more than I already do, but that doesn't matter right now. It's ... I can't ..." Kaz let out an angry breath. He hated it when he didn't know what to say. "I can't lean on you without me circling back to the whole throwing up thing again. But it has nothing to do with you. It's a… problem of mine,"

Kaz managed to get out through clenched teeth. Kaz hated nothing more than having to admit his weakness, but he knew she wouldn't let him get away without an explanation.

Rabe looked at him carefully, then her eyes flickered to his gloves and Kaz knew that she at least had a clue what his problem was.

"Hm, okay," she said finally, turning her back on him. For a moment, Kaz felt panic rising. She would leave him here. Well, what could she really do if he refused to be touched? He would understand if she wouldn't trouble herself anymore with an annoyance like him.

"Okay, I have a plan," she turned back to Kaz. "You won't like it," she said, and he could literally hear the grin in her whisper. "We- what's wrong? I haven't said anything yet," Rabe asked when she saw Kaz's incredulous look before he could wipe it off his face.

"Why are you helping me?" Kaz had to ask her. It just didn't make sense to him why she was helping him - again.

"Can we discuss this after we get out of here? It's a miracle nobody has found us yet,” she urged while taking off her long coat. Another coat, shorter and thinner, emerged from below. Even autumn in Ketterdam could be damn cold. The coat also covered her two wakizashi well. She spread the coat on the floor in front of Kaz.

"Hop on," she said and could not help but laugh.

Now Kaz was giving her an openly disbelieving look. "What?!"

"You sit on it and I'll drag you. It'll probably give your leg a good shake, but I can't think of anything better," Rabe explained. "So?"

Kaz looked from the coat to Rabe and back again. What else could he do? So, he heaved himself onto the coat with as much dignity as he had left.

Rabe grabbed the hem of the coat and began to pull Kaz through the streets of Ketterdam. She had to stoop and walk backwards, which prevented her from moving very quickly.

'The most important thing is that we get away from here,' Keira thought. There was a low moan from Kaz. The rough roads made this type of travel uncomfortable for him and his broken leg.

"Do you have a meeting place where I can drop you off? Maybe one of the other dregs can get a healer. I'm not sure if we can make it to the Slat unobserved," Kaz heard Rabe whispering behind him. He was sitting with his back to her. They were close, but Rabe seemed careful not to touch him.

"The meeting point is the small fountain in the south park," Kaz' voice was pressed.

"All right, that's not that far," Rabe tried to see something good from the situation, because her back was slowly hurting from the unfamiliar posture. And Kaz had gained muscles since her last rescue operation, which did not make things any easier. 'But it makes him even more attractive,' Keira thought to herself.

Kaz snorted. "You can also leave me at the entrance of the park, one of the others will find me."

"No, the meeting point is the meeting point. I can drag your lazy ass there. In addition, the entrance is too close to one of the main streets."

"Which brings me to my earlier question. Why are you helping me? Again,” Kaz asked.

He could hear Rabe sighing behind him. But Kaz did not give in.

"You haven't collected my debt in the past two years, so I'm assuming you aren't doing this, so I owe you something. But that would be the only logical explanation. Favours and blackmail material are worth more in the barrel than Kruge."

"And it couldn't be because I'm just an innocent and kind-hearted person. Or your guardian angel?" Rabe deadpanned.

That made Kaz laugh. "I've never heard of a kind-hearted assassin. And nobody in the barrel is innocent."

"No, probably not. Why is it so important to you? I promise I won't expect any favours in return. So, don't worry." Slowly, Rabe's throat ached from the constant whispering. But she did not want to risk him recognizing her voice that at a later point.

"I hate unsolved puzzles," the words broke out of him, "And you've been one I can't solve for two years now. Everyone in the barrel knows you. Is afraid of you and your swords. You wiped out a whole gang. Kill without anyone seeing you, seem to move unnoticed in the barrel – by the way, how do you do that? – and nobody knows who you really are." At this point in his tirade, Kaz was a little out of breath. "They all portray you as a monster, a raven with razor-sharp wings. And here you are, dragging me through Ketterdam so I don't get imprisoned. It doesn’t make sense!"

"Saints Kaz, it's not all black and white!"

Kaz caught his breath, this was the first time Rabe had called him by his name. And even though she pronounced it with frustration, Kaz felt a flutter in his chest. 'What the hell?' Kaz thought.

"Yes, I'm a murderer, there is darkness in me and there is so much blood on my hands that it would last ten live times, but ..." Rabe let out a deep breath, "But, sometimes, very rarely, you meet people and just know that they are worth saving. And when you stared at me with your defiant look from the harbour basin, I knew that you are such a person to me. Okay? Maybe I just want to prove to myself that there is more than just darkness inside of me. I cannot really explain it myself. I just know that I prefer you alive rather than dead."

Kaz had turned and was staring at her, speechless. He could not see her face behind the mask, but it sounded like she had meant every word.

Rabe held his gaze for a moment and then looked away. She had said too much, he would surely think she was crazy. A heavy silence fell between them.

"I never thanked you ... so ... thank you for saving me," Kaz mumbled.

"Dirtyhands saying thank you? Now I've seen it all," Rabe laughed softly, glad that the tension was broken. "And the reason I am not seen is because I am fast."

"Huh?" Kaz asked eloquently.

"You asked how I manage to move in the barrel unnoticed. I get noticed every now and then, of course. But before anyone can catch me, I'll be gone. I can run really fast."

Kaz wasn't sure if Rabe was kidding or if she was serious. There was no time to reply, because they had made it to the South Park and Rabe stopped at the bend that led to the fountain and peeked around the corner.

"There are already two guys. One has a mohawk. Do they belong to you?"

"Yes, they are Dregs. I'll call out to them when you're gone," Kaz said as he pushed himself off Rabe's coat.

"All right, then I'll get out of here," Rabe whispered.

"Hopefully, it won't be another two years before we meet again." The words were out of Kaz's mouth before he could really make up his mind to voice them. He could see her mouth twisting into a big smile under the black tube scarf.

“Oh Kaz, we've met way more times than you think. It is really a full-time job to be your guardian angel.” With these words she turned around and disappeared into the night.

That night he had spent a long time wondering when Rabe could have helped him. As a new addition to a gang, you often got into trouble and there were many robberies and ventures where things got dangerous. Had Rabe had a hand in some of them and prevented the worst?

End of flashback

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No matter how hard he had tried, he hadn't seen her. Still, he was sure it had been her who had saved Jesper, Inej and him with several well-aimed shots that had seemed to come out of nowhere when they had been cornered by Black Tips.

All escape plans had failed and so, only plan F remained. And he could admit to himself that his plan F was always the same: Hope the Guardian Angel is around right now.

Kaz came out of his thoughts, ran his hands over his face and sighed. Every time he thought of Rabe or one of their encounters, he got restless. He felt the urge to do something. To find her. 'But what then?' he asked himself. Even if he found out who was hiding under the mask, even if he saw Rabe again tonight, what would it change?

'Everything,' whispered a voice in his head, 'You could make her one of the crows, she could be near you.' That was what Kaz secretly wanted. Rabe had been a constant in his life for so long that he hoped to have her with him. As a confidante because that was what she was for him. Someone Kaz trusted. Even if he did not know what the girl looked like under the mask, he knew that she was the person who had stood by him all this time, who took care of him. Rabe had seen him in his weakest moment and still decided he was worth rescuing. She had learned of his fear of being touched and not only had she found a way to help him without touching him, but apparently also had not told anyone about it. And while he knew that hope and trust in the barrel were the biggest weaknesses of all, he just couldn't help it, when Rabe was involved.

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The heist was a breeze. Just two guards patrolled the hallway outside the bedroom where the necklace was. The crows were out sooner than expected. Kaz made a decision and sent Jesper and Inej back to the Slat alone with the booty. He positioned himself across from the house, in the shade of the trees, and waited. He did not have to wait long.

"I assume the theft was successful. I heard the necklace is beautiful," Kaz heard a whisper in the shadows to his left. He bowed his head to hide his smile. It had been too long since they had spoken to each other. He would even go so far as to admit that he had missed her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kaz replied and heard Rabe laugh softly next to him.

"Of course not, but if I were you, I would keep an eye on that mountain of a bouncer. He talks too much."

Kaz sucked in a sharp breath. He had suspected for some time that Big Bolliger wasn't only loyal to the Dregs. And Rabe's words confirmed that suspicion. He had no doubt that she heard a lot of whispering in the streets.

"I will," Kaz replied with steel in his voice, "Did your job go as planned?"

Keira flexed her hands, where Kaz could still see the strange black patterns.

"Yeah."

"How come nobody heard from you lately?" Kaz asked.

Keira looked at her hands. How was she supposed to explain to Kaz that she was slowly but surely feeling the wakizashi robbing her of the last light part of her soul? The part that clung to Kaz with all its might so as not to be swallowed up in the cold and darkness. To not feel the indifference to everything and everyone. To wield her swords was like breathing; it was necessary, inevitable. But if the only option, to keep her remaining compassion and be there for Kaz, was to lay down her swords for good, well, then she would live with bated breath for the rest of her life.

"Rabe was never meant to live that long," Keira replied after a while, "She wanted revenge and she got it. After that ... after that it was too late to just go back to a normal life. My swords, they ... they are not good for me. They make me stronger in battle, but weaker in spirit, they evoke the worst in me, drive away all good thoughts and feelings until I can only think of killing. For a long time, I didn't care, there was nothing but death in my life anyway. But then I fished a boy out of the harbour and realized I didn't want to live in the dark forever. From then on, I tried to use the swords as rarely as possible and let go of Rabe more and more."

When she looked up, she met Kaz' gaze. He looked at her steadfastly, in his blue eyes she could see the innumerable questions that her words had brought with them. Kaz could hardly believe what he had just heard. Was she a Grisha who had the powers to connect herself to swords in some way? Or were the swords themselves made by Grishas? What would such weapons bring in? But much more important – way was she telling him all that. And why now? Had she only come to him to say goodbye? He had to know.

"Is this goodbye?" he asked softly. He didn't trust his voice.

"Yes, it's time for Rabe to leave," she tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, "I'll start over, and I owe this chance to you." She looked back at Kaz. "Thank you, Kaz. In the end it was you who saved me."

Kaz nodded and looked at the floor. He didn't want her to read anything on his face. He was angry, angry that he was going to lose Rabe. Angry that she seemed to have no problem leaving him behind. He felt numb and cold. That's what you get if you let yourself be fooled by this cruel thing called hope. He should try to talk her out of it, force her to stay with him.

But as selfish as Kaz was, he could not bring himself to do it. She wanted a better life without hearing the constant call of her diabolical swords. Without all that killing. Who was he to deny her this? She deserved it, she deserved everything she wanted. She owed him nothing, but he owed her everything.

When Kaz looked up again, a smile played on his lips. "Has the work as a guardian angel become too strenuous for you?"

"Oh please, you hardly ever get into trouble. Everyone is too scared of Dirtyhands. And besides, your two friends are more than competent enough to save your ass if it is necessary," Rabe replied with a low laugh. There was a long silence between them until Rabe took a deep breath in and out.

"Alright, time to go. Goodbye, Kaz. Take care of yourself" with that, she turned away.

"Rabe," Kaz called after her. She turned back to him. He walked up to her, took off his glove, and held out his hand to her. "Farewell," he said.

Rabe hesitated when she looked from Kaz's hand to his eyes, searching them to see if he really wanted her to touch him. She reached out her hand and took his. Kaz could feel the water rising but it stayed at his knees. He just had to feel her touch once before they might never see each other again. "I hope that you will find a place where you can be happy, where you belong." Kaz said.

"I think I already have. And from now on, it's Keira for you," she said with a melodic voice loud and clear, then turned around and disappeared into the night.

Kaz paused for a while, taken aback by finally hearing her voice. He thought about her parting present for him. Her name.

"Keira," Kaz whispered. He wasn't sure why, but the sound filled him with a deep satisfaction. Perhaps it was the fact that a long unsolved mystery has finally found its answer. Or maybe it was the hope, again that damn hope, of a reunion that this gift had sparked in him.

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Well, it was decided. In the morning she packed the few things she owned and left her small, shabby apartment. She threw her coat and mask in the garbage can in the yard, poured a good swig of hard liquor over it, and lit a match. The raven mask stared up at her, but Keira didn't hesitate as she dropped the match into the barrel and her past went up in flames. The

wakizashi rested heavily in her bag. She couldn't bring herself to destroy the swords. She would give them to Kaz so he could sell them. If it were up to her, no one would ever hear from Rabe again. She smiled. But the barrel should watch out for Keira Hale, the new member of the Dregs. She turned away and made her way to the Slat.

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Jesper was sitting with Inej on one of the old sofas in the Slat’s common room. They wondered whether they should go to one of the waffle shops for breakfast or whether they were too lazy to walk the three blocks. Before they could decide, the front door opened. Jesper heard Inej inhale beside him and looked up.

At the door stood a young woman, barely older than him, with long hair and a pretty face. She had a bag over her shoulder and looked around searchingly. When she saw Inej and Jesper, her mouth twisted into a smile.

"Inej, right?" she asked as she walked towards the two of them.

"That's right," Inej sounded hesitant.

"Inej, why didn't you tell me that you have such a lovely acquaintance? How rude of me, miss, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Jesper, at your service," Jesper said and finished his speech with a sweeping bow.

"Nice to meet you Jesper,” the woman said and laughed when she noticed Inej rolling her eyes, already used to Jesper's antics. "Inej's and my first meeting was a bit bumpy. I can well understand that she did not remember me as a 'lovely acquaintance'."

To Inej she said: "I'm sorry that I shot at you. I hope I get a chance to make it up to you."

Jesper looked back and forth between the two women. So, this was the woman Kaz wanted to join the Dregs. He knew Inej had not been badly injured, but Jesper didn't like it at all when someone shot his friends.

To his amazement, Inej laughed and held out her hand to the woman. "I'm not holding it against you. It was a good reminder for me that I am not actually invisible and that I shouldn't underestimate others. To a new start."

The young woman took Inej’s hand and shook it. "Thank you, Inej," she said and Jesper saw how relieved she was about Inej's words.

"Okay, now that that's settled, I'll let Kaz know that you're here."

Jesper saw the young woman suddenly become nervous. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite, well, only very rarely," Jesper said, winked at her and disappeared up the stairs.

He knocked and didn't even wait for an answer before he walked straight into Kaz' office. Kaz looked up from his work at the desk and gave Jesper a slightly irritated look. "What do you want?"

"You have a visitor, boss."

"Whoever it is, tell them I'm busy," Kaz dismissed him and went back to his papers.

'Wow, isn't he extra grumpy today,' Jesper thought and noticed the dark circles under Kaz' eyes.

"You'd better tell her yourself, not that she shoots me too," Jesper muttered.

"Jesper, what the hell are you talking about?" Kaz barked.

"Well, I’m talking about the woman you want to recruit for the Dregs. She's downstairs."

"What?! Why didn’t you say that right away?" Kaz grumbled as he got up and walked towards the door, leaning on his cane.

"I did!" shouted Jesper and followed Kaz back down the stairs. Inej and the woman were still standing where Jesper had left them, talking. When they heard the rhythmic tapping of Kaz' cane, they both looked up and Jesper could see the young woman taking a deep breath, straightening her shoulders and turning to face them.

"Miss Reed, I almost didn't expect you anymore. Are you here to accept my offer?" Kaz asked as he stopped a few steps away from her. Jesper joined Inej and watched the spectacle in front of him.

"Yes I am. I still had to get rid of a few ... an old burden before I could get involved with this. This also includes the wrong name that I have adopted. I'll join the Dregs with my birth name."

Jesper saw that she had turned pale around the nose. 'Why was she so tense?'

Kaz nodded. "Which would be?"

The young woman took a deep breath.

"Keira Hale."

Then Jesper witnessed something he had never seen before. Kaz' features slipped. He stared at the woman as if he had seen a ghost. His mouth closed and opened, but no sound came out. ‘He looks like a fish on land,’ Jesper remarked absently.

The woman, Keira, looked nervously but steadfastly at Kaz as she said: "I hope that doesn't change anything about your offer."

Jesper looked at Inej and saw that she was just as confused. He had the bad feeling that he hadn't noticed something here. Kaz had found his voice again, but apparently still couldn't get his face under control. Because he was smiling. Kaz Brekker smiled when he answered Keira. "No, the offer still stands."

Relief was written on Keira's face. Kaz walked up to her, and for a moment Jesper could have sworn that Kaz wanted to hug her. But that would be totally absurd, right? Right?! But, like Inej before him, Kaz held out his hand to her.

"Welcome to the Dregs, Keira. I am glad that you are here."

Keira took his hand and returned Kaz’ smile.

"Thanks, I think I've finally found my place."

The End

Or maybe not?

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A/N: Sooooo what do think?

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader

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