#and those are just a few examples
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I love when one batfam member gets hurt in some way and the rest of them just fucking lose it on the people responsible
#batfamily#like maybe jason and dick going after ra's al ghoul for tim and/or damian#any of them being bullied at school? legal problems from Bruce and just fucking death and worse-than-death threats from every batsibling#dick canonically beating joker to death because he thought he killed tim and gloated about killing jason#you know jason tim damian and cass wouldnt hesitate to kill tarantula after what she did to dick#and those are just a few examples
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I don’t think pluralphobes actually understand anything at all. Nope most of us don’t think we’re plural because we have thoughts. Nothing about my thoughts changing to actually be in words made me think I was plural lmao
#also we don’t all hear our headmates so fakeclaiming people because it’s not enough to ‘just’ hear voices and talk to your headmates makes#no sense at all#I used to think in concepts and overarching ideas if you’re curious#also movies but that was only for telling stories with my ocs#I’d never imagine myself or any real people in that way#we are very fake claimable#1. I accepted were a system way too quickly after I started thinking about it#2. we share a lot of memory#3. we don’t have massively different personalities#4. we basically all write the same#and those are just a few examples#but none of those things actually make us fake#and if you think we’re just roleplaying calling us by the names we prefer is still the nice thing to do#- alexander
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Swifties are speaking out on Taylor Swift’s silence on the Palestinian Genocide
#these are just a few examples#finally we’re waking up as a fandom#let’s keep making noise#hold those in power accountable for their complicity#taylor swift#swifties for palestine#taylorswift#swifties for ceasefire#the tortured poets department#ttpd#the eras tour#free palestine#palestine#jack antonoff#free gaza#gaza#gaza strip#gaza massacre#rafah#miss americana
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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okay but sarah celebrating tommy every year for mother’s day
#who needs a mommy when you got a tommy#the first time shes does this its preschool teacher maria’s idea#shes four and mothers day is coming up and its usually a hard time for her so joel lets maria know just in case she has any behavioral issue#miss maria is like 🫡 i gotchu#she makes sure to emphasize to the kids that families are all different#they spend every day of may leading up to mother day reading books exploring diversity in families and talking about what mom really means#that it doesnt have to be the person who had you in their tummy or a girl or even a person we call mom#for example miss maria’s real mommy wasnt so nice growing up so miss marias TRUE mommy is just her daddy and her auntie rose#because those are the people that loved her no matter what and kept her safe and taken care of and fed#thats all mom is#it just means someone thats there for you every day and loves you and cares for you#someone who is one of your favorite people and who would say the same about you#all the kids go around and say who they think are their moms#mosy say some iteration of ‘mommy’ and ‘mama’ or ‘grammy’#but then baby ellie says ‘tess and auntie marlene’#and baby sarah says ‘uncle thommy’#one of the other littles says ‘daddy and miss maria’ 😭#and they all make heart cards for their mommy firgures#they cant write or really read anything but a few letters yet#(even though hyperlexic baby sarah does have pretty incredible letter recognition for her age)#so they tell miss maria what to write on their cards and then decorate with oil pastels#sarah’s says dear uncle tommy thank you for being my mommy you are so funny and i love when we play horsey and princesses. happy mommy day#when he picks her up at the end of the day shes like HI MOMMMMM all giggly and hes like ????? hi???? whats this???? OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT#and when he does and read it he literally drops to his knees to hug her and cry#because theres really nothing more precious than his little angel his baby his best girl#thats tommys DAUGHTER DO YALL UNDERSTAND??????#miss maria watching them from the cubbies like: godDAMN theyre so cute#the next day tommy brings her a oat milk chai from her favorite coffee shop as a thank you because it meant a lot to him and shes like ????#how did u know???? and hes like my brother and you ran into each other there last week yeah? he told me abt it i asked for your order#and shes like ���🥰🫠 thanks
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I’ve just had this really specific vision of post canon Doug Eiffel being a mechanic. Maybe even though his memories were drained from him, the movements of repair are still familiar, and I think it would also add something to his characterization once he’s back in earth with the others. I’m gonna think about this some more and come back to this post in a bit
#doug’s ending in w359 makes me so ill#like#not only was his experiences in the wolf 359 exhibition erased but EVERYTHING#his daughter and friends and the few positive experiences he had up there#just wiped away like that#and him listening back on those tapes of the person he used to be#because he’s exactly that#the person on those tapes is not the same doug eiffel that is returning back to earth#your memories make you who you are#they shape your entire existence and makes up the majority of your psyche#at least in my experience and opinion#the simplist example of that for doug is his media affluence#from the very first episode his knowledge of numerous kinda of media shapes the narrative and his character#oh my god doug eiffel#shaking him#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#character analysis#sort of
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Always delighting in the sheer amount of smooth and very natural exposition we get in those early scenes, actually.
The "What rank is that dog?" scene introduces us to several ranks and rules onboard - who everyone is, where they can and can't go, etc.
We get further context on JCR, too, when they speak of naming the new strait for him. We've seen him already, have heard him addressed by name, and know that he's connected to the Expedition somehow, but mentioning him again cements that connection even further.
There's also a nod to Sir John's previous Arctic experience mentioned early on by Strong at dinner.
SO much information packed in about who these people are, where they are, and how they got there.
#Soo and Dave I am kissing you oh so respectfully on the mouth#There are definitely many more examples in the first episode and beyond#Those are just a few that spring to mind#The Terror#The Terror AMC#The Big Terror Rewatch#S01E01#Go for Broke#Random Observations
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Can I just say, the way TV shows work now is so disheartening. I just read an article about another queer show being cancelled after one season and it's just really sad. There's no more of just shows coming out on TV, or other services , being not so popular at first but then at like season 3 they get immensely popular or maybe they don't but they're still loved by a group of people even if it isn't the biggest crowd. There are so many shows that you definitely have heard of that were not the most popular when the first season came out, for example the office didn't peak till like the fifth season, breaking bad gained popularity just before the fourth season, and game of thrones peaked at about season five. I haven't watched any of those but they are some of the most popular TV shows I can think of and so imagine if they had been cancelled after one season?? just because they hadn't quite reached a zillion views yet.
I was watching this lovely show called night sky on amazon prime, It was a refreshing and original Sci fi show choosing to follow two older protagonists rather than a young couple. And I thought that was awesome and I really was enjoying this show, till it ended on a cliff hanger and then I found out there was never going to be a second season.
No more hidden gems, no more chances for shows to build up a plot and an audience over time just one season and if it doesn't get stranger things big then it's over, doesn't matter how much story was planned out or how much is left unsaid. Sometimes they get more than one season but often they still never get to finish their story.
So many shows potential for representation and great stories are thrown down the drain when the big boss decides it isn't making them enough money. Because that's just it, it's always about money. Because if it's not making the multimillionaire streaming services richer then what's the point?
Ok rant over.
#ofmd#our flag means death#night sky (2022)#glamorous netflix#shadow and bone#dead end paranormal park#snowpiercer#everything now#anne with an e#uncoupled#a league of their own#willow#smiley netflix#first kill#high fidelity#I am not okay with this#And those are just a few examples I guess#bennie's brain hurts#queer#queer shows#lgbt+
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Kinda random but i hate when you revisit roblox games you used to adore and it's just filled to the brim with emo people emoting in silence or saying "." And theyre just "hanging out" in one specific area instead of having fun playing the whole game
#roblox#creatures of sonaria#roblox highschool#work at a pizza place#adopt me#those are just a few examples smh
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underrated funny thing about lawlight is they never actually did get to confirm that 100% of the time they were basically thinking exactly what the other person thought they were thinking every single time
#im thinking about this because of the relationship i have with one of my bosses#like hes extremely hard to read and doesnt make small talk but hes also considerate in quiet ways#so im always like guessing what hes thinking and feeling and wondering if hes trying to do the same back#but then im like am i just projecting onto him completely? making this all up in my head#hes giving nothing and im imagining everything. and you really dont want to make assumptions because it would be awkward to be wrong#for example a few times now things that i wondered if he was doing to make my life easier were actually just things he was doing#because he was secretly preparing to close up shop#so i was glad i never voiced my appreciation for his thoughtfulness out loud to him when i found out the truth lol#ANYWAYS unlike in my situation#the entire time whenever one of those two thinks one thing the other one is like 'i bet he's thinking this' and we the readers#look between their thought bubbles and go 'pffft he sure is what are you gonna do now'#its probably a good thing they went to mu because the afterlife couldn't handle all the smug sex theyd be having on every available surface#24/7/365#lawlight#p
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[9]
Watanuki has resolved to make her eat it anyway.
>:) Lovely.
Though I find it fascinating the way this problem has played out. The customer presented a problem and even though Watanuki had hints from Yuuko it didn’t make any sense to him until he discussed it with Doumeki. And then they figured it out together.
It feels like it’s signalling that Yuuko doesn’t have much guidance left for Watanuki - or at the very least, he’s finding his own way of figuring out problems in a way that makes more sense to him.
Which is good in the way that Yuuko was always limited in the kind of help she could give, because outright giving any answers would always come with a cost that she didn’t want Watanuki to pay. But we’ve entered the zone where Watanuki doesn’t need to rely on her hints as much and will figure things out naturally using his own methods.
So that's good! But on the other hand I would like to keep Yuuko forever.
I want it officially noted that this conversation between Watanuki and Doumeki lasted for ELEVEN PAGES before there was even a hint of faux outrage!
Eleven pages of solid conversation before Watanuki remembered that he pretends to hate Doumeki!
This is very fun knowledge for all people who are me.
Conspiracy!
We love Mokona’s foresight and subtle manipulations to get more snacks. (And to get Watanuki to talk to Doumeki)
But even more than that we love Doumeki’s open concern for Watanuki’s wellbeing and double checking whether he can safely be here!
OOPS nope I misinterpreted that, it wasn’t that at all. It was Doumeki double checking to see if this was the best course of action as far as the mystery was involved. He wonders whether Yuuko could have given him better help.
But I have preemptively talked all the way through that idea so I’m glad I picked up on that undercurrent correctly!
#I lowkey love that both Yuuko and Doumeki both know#That if they request food Watanuki will quickly leave the room to immediately cook it#Leaving them open to have hushed important conversations with the people left behind#And they push that button very very often#(And it always works)#Not liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#xxxholic#xxxholic 86#Watanuki#Doumeki#Mokona#Yuuko Ichihara#Yuuko wanting Watanuki to learn how to cross those final few hurdles#And learn that he can solve these problems without her#And is subtly getting Mokona to steer him in the right direction#JUST IN CASE SHE WERE TO SUDDENLY LEAVE THE PLOT#IN SAY SIX CHAPTERS OR LESS#JUST AS AN EXAMPLE
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#im just really curious about this#because ive polled my acquantiances and the responses are varied#as a kid i definitely assumed they wrote it until i reaaaaaaally got into them and i Think most people assume that but im not sure#if ur a tmbg fan and u didnt know this im not judging u u can be honest.#because sometimes you do just have those really random knowledge gaps#i have a few things with tmbg where im like how did i go this long without knowing this although im blanking rn but there definitely were a#few recent examples#but i dont think theres many fans who dont know this but you never know so i put the option
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spop fans criticize authors like j.k rowling for declaring characters' sexualities offscreen, instead of showing it onscreen. but then they praise the crew-ra for lgbt and poc representation when more than half of those things were "confirmed" offscreen.
#entrapta being autistic was confirmed offscreen#catra being latina was not even confirmed it was just alluded to offscreen#all of the bisexual characters could very well be straight bc there was no confirmation onscreen#those are just a few examples#btw the j k rowling hate is totally justified#besides her shitty writing decisions she's also a transphobe so i'm not defending her at all#but if you realize that confirming things offscreen is sloppy and incompetent#why not hold your faves accountable for that too?#spop critical#spop salt#spop criticism#spop discourse#spop#she ra#anti spop#oh dont forget some of these people also bitch about korrasami's relationship not being shown onscreen
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are the songs on your playlist mostly for specific seasons/eras/moments or are they mostly more general songs for the overall character? what are your favorites and why?
in the spirit of recent events these are the songs I put on after every stream to really feel everything that happens
#old me is 10x harder thanks to what just happened#used to listen this thinking about me killing pangi but oh my god#you can connect all of these to whatever princezam moments you want to me they apply to like every aspect of the character#I'd say these are like the strongest songs in the playlist everything else is sort of just here to keep the mood similar#there's also a few more songs that only really hit when I was in like season 4 lore mode or just certain eras of lifesteal#examples being like sorry not sorry by tyler the creator for end of season 4#lowkey another life by pink pantheress is another banger but doesn't fit too well with the stuff i linked above lol#also two of those songs were given to me by bacon i know he wants credit
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ttyd is awesome. someone could be at their absolute worst and then some random italian guy shows up out of nowhere and changes their entire life for the better
#i love mario#he left an impact on and inspired so many people aughhh 😭#koops learns to be more courageous! flurrie gets inspired to get into acting again! he helps bobbery move on#those are just a few examples
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