#and this isn't even mentioning the fact that eddie is allowed to have time to figure out his own sexuality before getting with buck

[vanmarkus]

Someone needs to tell tim about relationship-baiting because no it's not really queerbaiting but if he didn't/doesn't intend on going anywhere with how he wrote them, it could feel like relationship-baiting to fans. Especially now that he's going a different way even though he *could* go with buddie on abc. He knows exactly if he gave a definite no on buddie, a lot of people would stop watching. So him saying hey I gave you those scenes just to make you happy felt... :/ not good. He has every right to do what he wants with his characters but yeah that was a weird thing to say

okay, I am absolutely not trying to be mean here, but this is such a stupid way of looking at it.

1) relationship baiting? could've gone that way? we got bi Buck confirmed after 7 seasons. I'm sorry if that's not a good enough of a story for you, because it doesn't involve being attracted to Eddie. it is strategically and storytelling-wise more expandable, interesting and provides a better base for an eventual buddie storyline if that's the direction they want to go into than getting them together straight off the bat.

we got authentic, good bi rep without having the character feminised to fit a stereotypical queer role on TV. it's a huge fucking deal. so what if you have to wait for buddie a bit longer? does that mean it's never gonna happen? cuz how is that baiting if that's what we get in the long run?

and even if we don't get it, it's not bait to show two male friends being close after spending about 100+ hours a week together and going through trauma after trauma together. it doesn't have to be romantic. it can be. it doesn't have to be.

2) wanting to make the fans happy by giving them their most favourite guys finally hanging out and having fun and giving moments of them being so close again? yeah, I don't see how that's weird, I'm sorry. Tim knows we love them and that we love to see them together; giving us scenes with them is a kindess on his part and is clearly something that makes fans happy, if not being able to see a single scene of 2-minute of them singing was enough to warrant actual death threats??

Tim is out there doing something for the fans and you guys are crying about it and poking holes at his words. this is why we're not getting shit. and ngl if people get louder and meaner, I full on won't blame Tim to not go there with buddie at all, cuz why would he reward that behaviour?

watch the show. enjoy what we get cuz we've been getting A LOT of good stuff this season. major television history stuff actually. we are renewed for another season. stop rushing shit. if the story goes there, it'll be because it'll make sense. just be grateful for once, I beg.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Eddie is gushing about Steve to Robin and he mentions how it's so fucking metal the way he never shies away from danger. Like, quite the opposite, he literally jumps right into it without a second thought!

And suddenly Robin remembers how Steve wanted to be tortured by the actual real Russian secret service if it meant that his then friendly coworker who he never saw outside of Scoops would be at least a little bit safer. And she notices for the first time how Steve always makes sure that everyone is safe before he leaves a dangerous place - how he makes sure to always be the last one - and she thinks fuck.

(She feels so fucking bad. He is her best friend. Her soulmate. The person who knows her best and vice-versa. How has she never noticed this before?!)

They start paying closer attention to him, then. Neither like what they see. Steve's eyebags grow bigger with every day that passes. He doesn't eat a lot. He can never say no to others, no matter how much it inconveniences him. And when Robin and Eddie gush about what an awesome person he is, he gets an uncomfortable expression on his face and denies it. Robin had never noticed how most their interactions were self-deprecating jokes until now, either.

They need to stage an intervention.

The next time Steve walks through the doors of Family Video, Robin and Eddie are ready. They lay down all the facts and propose a simple deal: either go talk to a professional, or they will explain everything to the rest of the party and they will force him to talk to a professional. It will end the same way no matter what he chooses, might as well take the path with least resistance.

The only thing that sounds worse than paying a stranger to talk about his feelings is to be forced to talk about them to his friends, so he agrees.

He doesn't think it will make a difference, at first. It's not like he is allowed to talk about monsters and other dimensions.

The first session is awkward. But Robin and Eddie always look at him with such worried and expectant looks and he cannot bear to burden them in any way, so he starts opening up more. He can't talk about the time he almost got eaten by Demogorgons in a secret supernatural underground tunnelsystem, but he can talk about the time Billie almost beat him to death. He can't talk about the secret Russian operation beneath the mall, but he can talk about almost dying in the "mall fire". (His memories of his time there are all scrambled because of the drugs, anyway. It is more about the 'near-death' thing and never being able to feel safe, which he can talk about)

He doesn't mean to talk about his interpersonal relationships at first. But then his therapist cautiously asks him about his parents, and before he knows it he is spilling beans he didn't even know needed to be spilled. He talks about how he only seems to be friends with people who went through traumatic experiences with him, and what does that say about him? He talks about when he first realized that other kids are not left behind by their parents for months at a time. He finally starts unpacking the whole Nancy situation and realizes, wow, turns out he isn't nearly as over the whole thing as he'd hoped. (There are a lot of tears).

He seamlessly fills session after session, and at first he doesn't think that it makes much of a difference. Until the kids meet him after he is exhausted from a double shift at Family Video and beg him to drive them somewhere or other, and he can say no and not give in without fearing that they will cast him aside.

(Robin and Eddie are smug when they also notice the changes, but Steve supposes they have earned it this one time.)

[ladykailitha]

If I were to do a A/B/O story with Steddie this is how I would do it (I've never done omega-verse for any of my fandoms, but damn there is something about Steddie that just screams it, you know?)

Steve was sold to a place that uses infertile omegas as sex toys. Rut servicing, gang bangs, orgies, or even just pretty arm candy for special events. The point is that the Harringtons sold him when they found out he couldn't be sold to the wealthiest, most influential alphas as a broodmare.

They are pretty much indentured and have to pay off the debt of how much the company paid for them. Steve pays off his debt and stays. Most omegas leave, but he loves what he does. He really loves rut servicing. It's his favorite because he has all the control during the three to four days the alpha is sex crazed. He also loves that he can take care of them without them thinking he's in for the bond bite.

Steve's at some gala or event or whatever on the arm of an older alpha, probably a senator or someone important like that when he meets Eddie Munson, frontman for Corroded Coffin.

They're introduced and they hit off, until Steve mentions offhand that he's infertile. Because that angers Eddie for some reason.

Eddie sets up Steve to be his rut servicer and demands that Steve be placed on some kind of birth control. It's a strange request, but it's granted.

When Steve arrives, Eddie tells him under no uncertain terms that either of them are going to be barebacking. Condoms are required.

This pisses Steve off. He's infertile and these demands are just ridiculous. He can't get pregnant.

Eddie scoffs. If he was infertile it would reflect in his scent. It would be sickly sweet, like overripe fruit. Cloying almost. But Steve doesn't smell like that. He smells darker, woodier, more like spices then fruity.

Steve frowns, he hadn't heard that about omegas, but it made sense, his other co-workers did have that sweet smell, but never really thought about it being different than his own.

But before they could talk it out, Eddie goes into his rut hard. Harder then it's ever been and Steve is pretty much scrambling to keep up with the sex.

At the end of the five days, Steve is worn out and ready to pass out for the next week, but he needs to know what Eddie was talking about.

Eddie tells him that he's not infertile, he's an ultra-fertile omega. So rare that they present in only 1% of the human population as a whole. Red-heads are more common they are.

Basically they are only fertile during their heats, but instead of having only a 1 in 5 chance of getting pregnant like omegas do in heat (1 in 8 out of heat), they can get pregnant 4 in 5 chance of getting pregnant. In fact, they are so revered that they can have their pick of the best alphas in their country. Some of them even go so far as casting their net over the whole fucking world.

Steve isn't sure he believes him, but his parents never tested for it because it was too rare. So it's possible that he could be, it's not like he can test it now. The test needs to be done at the time he presented. The only way to know for sure is if he shared a heat with an alpha (he's not allowed to as service omega to spend it with anything but toys) and he doesn't know of any alpha willing to take the chance that he might be some golden omega.

Only Eddie is totally willing. Willing to even bond Steve, with or without the ultra-fertility.

Steve is shocked. He's even more shocked when he goes into heat just from being so close to Eddie. Because he's on blockers, that's not supposed to happen.

While Steve is still cognizant he consents to Eddie helping him through the heat, suddenly grateful for the condom and birth control stipulation is suddenly very welcome.

It's only a light one that lasts a couple of days, but it's the best he's ever had. The first he's ever shared with an alpha. And he loved it.

He found out that in order to share Steve's heat, Eddie had to pay a lot of money for the privilege so he just bought Steve's contract as a whole. The one he made because he brought in so much money to the company.

They talk about bonding and sharing Steve real heat. The reason Eddie was so insistent on the contraception measures is that his scent had been known to break blockers in the past.

Which makes sense, some alphas just have that strong a scent. It's not a thing like an ultra-omega, but just something that could happen. The company tended to screen those types of alphas and made sure that the omega would be safely whisked away. It just never happened to Steve before.

Eddie courts Steve properly and they bond. And sure enough Eddie was right Steve gets pregnant, and suddenly Steve's parents are banging on the door demanding they be compensated for the fact that he's an ultra-omega and could have been sold for lots, lots more money then the company gave them.

But Steve tells them to fuck off and slams the door in their faces. And Steve and Eddie live happily ever after with their growing family.

First chapter of the full story here.

[lemotmo]

This has been fun to watch. Also Buddie ❤️

Q. Good evening. I have several questions so feel free to answer what you would like. Thank you! Do you really think Tim won't bring him back at all now? And has he not ever called out Buddie shippers before? You clearly love Buddie so why don't you call yourself a shipper? Also Kristen seems to be pretty pro Buck/Tommy and very anti Buddie does she really not have any say? I've noticed you seem pretty protective of Eddie is he your favorite?

A. Good evening, anon. That is quite a few questions, but thank you for not sending them as different questions because my ask box is already full. I will answer these as best as I can (but you brought Kristen into my ask box so if the answer upsets you, I'm sorry but not sorry because I despise her). First of all, no Tim has not had to call out the Buddie shippers before. There is a huge 'annoyance' difference between 80 tweets or comments asking for the deleted karaoke scene and 60 comments telling them they're homophobic pieces of shit for not showing more Tommy. Those two comments are not the same. They do not illicit the same tonal response. One would get a kind of exasperated but essentially fond eye roll the other gets you blocked. Tim has mentioned Buddie shippers in the past but he never did it to publicly scold them, and he mentioned the B/T shippers specifically to call the behavior out. He brought them up. He made a point of bringing it up. He made a point of giving examples so the audience would know which fandom he was talking about. Look I'm not suggesting that the Buddie fandom doesn't have douchebags because every fandom does. But those voices are not the big voices in their fandom. The actresses who have played Buck/Eddie love interests can attest to the fact that they received some pretty gross comments. But they were never the target of an outright hate campaign orchestrated against them. Size is not the only significant difference between the two fandoms. And Tim had every right to call them out. It was actually long overdue on his part.

I do still think that Tommy will be back, but I don't think it will be for more than a handful of episodes, if that. And I don't look for him to have many scenes. I do think story wise it makes more sense to have his reaction/response to certain things. However if Tim/ABC said it's not worth the grief they can get away with him not being around because his character isn't the point of any of this. It's going to be ugly when he's written out, whenever that is. I think Tim mentioning that fandom in that interview was kind of his way of acknowledging that they know what's coming. I will say though that the powers that be have clearly given the approval for the cast, crew, and others involved in the show to block whoever they want to block. So we will probably see much more of it than any of them will.

I love Buck and Eddie. I love them. It is no secret on my blog. They're everywhere on my blog. I don't specifically describe myself as a shipper (yet) because I never thought the show would actually go there and I didn't want to be gutted when they didn't happen. Not everyone can do that. It's hard to do but I made myself do it for self preservation only. I wanted them, but I didn't want to allow myself to expect them because I didn't believe the show would ever really go there. I followed Oliver and Ryan's leads and they never openly encouraged anything. They were polite and thankful for the love but they never allowed themselves to engage in it, until this past season. Everything changed last season. They fully embraced it, they engaged with it, they encouraged it, and they even openly discussed the prospect of a relationship. That had NEVER happened before. Not only were Oliver and Ryan engaging in it but ABC went all in on them. When they were on the other network Buddie was kind of like this toy, marketing wise, that they pulled out and dangled in front of their audience every time they wanted/needed some attention. It was like 'hey here's this thing that you really love come watch them act like a family and look fondly at one another but no homo'. It got tiresome because it was clear what they were doing. Now, Tim had moved to Lonestar by this time so he's not to blame for that particular game. But it was a game I was completely uninterested in playing. Everything changed the moment they moved to ABC. That was their best, and frankly last, chance to try and change the dynamics between them, and instead they doubled down on them. I now genuinely believe they will be canon by the end of this season (and I will ship ship ship away 💗). They started the setup in episode 4 of last season and the show has not made it difficult to follow at all. It's mostly why Lou's fans are angry most of the time. The show has been obvious in what they're doing.

I would love to know what Kristen did that made you think she was pretty pro B/T, because if its based on that scene from the finale you all have got to get higher standards. That was not a declaration of support. I cannot think of a single obvious pro Tommy thing she has done. You're correct in that she doesn't like Buddie, but that's because she doesn't like the attention they get. And honestly she genuinely seems to not like or understand M/M pairings. And I think that's her real problem. She doesn't understand why people care about them. She doesn't care to write for them. Which is why she has no business being anywhere near them. For anyone in here position to have come out and openly said stick to fanfiction means she has no idea what her actual job is. Whether the tile is co or lead showrunner your job is to encourage engagement. Your job is to understand and listen, at least somewhat, to your audience. She gave her audience the middle finger and openly mocked them. That is not anyone who deserves the job she has. Period.

Lastly, the Eddie nonsense is mind boggling. And honestly the funniest result of Tim's interview has been the desperate attempt from several in the Lou fandom to backtrack on their Eddie hate. Eddie was the worst possible character that fandom could have picked to go after because Tim loves him. I know that's weird because Tim is constantly trying to kill him but Tim loves Eddie and Ryan. The moment that fandom turned their claws on him it was over. And what's even more ridiculous was they were talking about how awful and worthless Eddie is as a character while frantically trying to make his entire character history Tommy's backstory. It was pathetic. I love Eddie, love and adore him. I want better things for him. I want him free of the Shannon nonsense. But Tommy's fans don't get to take it back now. They don't get to try and say 'oh I hope Eddie and Tommy get actual friend scenes this season' because they don't really want that. They just desperately need Tim to think they've learned their lesson. They don't deserve Eddie.

Yeah, I agree with most of this. I won't go into every topic, but I will say this:

I too think that Tommy will be back for a couple of scenes. He has to fulfill the role he came there to do in Buck's storyline.

I would honestly prefer it if he would never appear again. Not because of the character. I don't really like Tommy very much, but as a plot device he has a job to do and I respect the story. But there is no doubt Lou's presence on the set will once again result in a lot of 'Told you so' posts from the BT stans in the beginning. And when Tommy eventually leaves the show, they will be angry and we will have to deal with that as well. This dance has become predictable and exhausting.

Anyway, Nonny! Thank you for dropping this in my inbox! :)

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting these anon OP updates instead of reblogging. Don't get mad at me. There is a reason for it and it's all done with consent from the OP. You can find out more about that here.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[lenaboskow]

If you truly believe that Tommy hasn't changed, why would Chim and Hen keep hanging out with him (Bobby Begins Again)? Also, there's the fact that Tommy, for the most part, wasn't an instigator. Rather, he tried to keep to himself and not be involved. It's clearly a shitty thing but no uncommon, especially in toxic work environments. Was he dickish? Sure, would Chim think highly of somone openly racist? Based on the latest episode (spoiler: his interaction with Gerrard) he clearly uses the words "good to see you haven't changed" which I think it's intentional to show that Tommy (unlike Gerrard) changed.

You're entitled to your opinion, and you can also hate Tommy for no reason. No one is going to force you. I think saying you just hate him for no reason would be better than trying to build a narrative that the show clearly disputes. Last but not least, Lou giving his headcanons for the character he portrays isn't that uncommon. In fact, many actors do, and it helps them get more into character.

lol i wasn't going to answer this but then i read the "wasn't an instigator" line and i just had to. let's take a look at some of the things tommy said or did in the begins eps...

in chimney begins, he starts by saying "did you forget to tip the delivery driver?" though not explicitly stated, it's implied to be racially motivated because they had ordered chinese food, and chimney is asian. then he proceeds to actively participate in the isolation, once saying "you still here?" to chimney as they return to a call. the most notable time is during the locker room scene where chimney is trying to reach out an olive branch, and tommy actively pushes it away, saying he doesn't think about chimney enough to hate him, but if he did he was sure he would. the only time chimney gets a semblance of an apology is after he saves tommy's life, and that's a messed up way of thinking, no matter how you spin it.

then, we have hen begins. oh boy. gerrard makes comments to hen, and chimney stands up for her, while tommy is standing by letting it happen (this isn't instigating, but it's a notable mention). then, we have "new york bitchiness is a compliment?" which, wow okay. that entire meal he participated in the conversation while chimney tried to drive it away. finally, i know a lot of people think tommy was the one to turn gerrard in, but the way he looked pissed off in hen's speech at the end, and the way he looked like he didn't want to apologize makes me think otherwise.

i don't know what happened off screen for hen and chimney to be friends (or at least civil) with him now, but i do know that recent events have shown tommy is still the same dickish (your words) person he was in the begins episodes, this time without the racist and sexist undertones. some examples include, but are not limited to:

calling buck "kid" and telling him in a condescending tone that eddie was allowed to have more than one friend

the closet comment

leaving buck at the curb the way he did

the bachelor party

the way he acted at the ceremony (looking like he was waiting for buck to stop talking and "enjoy it while it lasts)

so i think it's safe to say i'm not just "building a narrative". the show is proving that tommy is still the same person he was before, he just toned it down.

finally, i'm not even going to touch lou because that story is rapidly developing and i can't keep up.

[viranellee]

freak out on me

synopsis: your feelings for eddie come to a head.

warnings: slight angst (can you believe i didn't write porn without plot this time, me neither!), light smut, mention of drugs & alcohol

a/n: to the wonderful @atrimmunson!

~~~

In a world, a life and a band full of uncertainty, you knew at least one undeniably true fact about yourself - one-night stands are absolutely not your thing.

On the rare drunken evenings when you did welcome a stranger into your bed, you were quick to find out that the shitty, uncomfortable feeling in the middle of your chest the morning after overpowered any sense of pleasure you might have felt during the night. It varied from guilt to sadness to dissatisfaction to even anger. You weren't exactly sure why it happened, or what it meant, but you didn't let yourself linger on it for too long anyway. Like a good, responsible citizen of society, you decided to simply stay away from what you knew made you feel bad.

Despite your fellow bandmates finding your decision fairly strange at first, you stuck to it with such determination that they couldn't help but get used to your "self-induced celibacy", as Daisy had so affectionately called it one time. Every evening you drank a bit, you did a few lines here and there, and made out with whoever took your fancy. Afterwards, you returned to your hotel room and either practiced a bit on your bass guitar or just climbed into bed immediately.

Was it boring for a rockstar? Definitely. But it was a safe and comforting routine, one which you so unfailingly followed that nobody dared to try and disrupt it.

Well, until this morning.

The first thing you notice when you open your eyes is that the colour of the bedsheets is different from the ones you're used to. The first thing you feel is the soreness between your legs. The first thing you hear is the quiet snoring from someone behind you.

Holy shit, you think to yourself as panic starts to creep in, this isn't real. There's no way this is real.

You allow yourself to realize that, despite your growing anxiety, you feel good in a specific way that you've only felt after having been well fucked. It's a sensation you've only felt once or twice in your entire life and something you had nearly forgotten as you grew accustomed to the sheer mediocrity that was your sex life.

You try to dispel those thoughts from your mind as you turn around, trying to see who the sleeping, apparently good at sex man beside you might possibly be and gasp when you see the mop of light brown hair you've fantasized about running your hands through.

He has his back turned to you, but you recognize him immediately. After all, you've had a massive crush on Eddie since the moment he convinced you to join The Dunne Brothers as a bassist when Chuck left.

As your breathing picks up, you try to recall something, anything about last night. You turn your head around, hoping to see clothing on the floor so you'd at least remember what you were wearing. When your eyes land on your dress, a nude mini, and shoes, a pair of beige stiletto heels, the only memory from last night that manages to emerge is Karen complimenting you and telling you something about how Eddie's been looking at you all night.

After a couple minutes of failing to remember anything else, you sigh and run a hand over your face, deciding it'd be better for you to just wash your face with cold water and choose where to go from there.

You walk towards the bathroom, grabbing Eddie's shirt and half-hazardly putting it on, all the while slightly limping, which you can only guess is the result of your more than satisfactory late-night shenanigans with Eddie. You look down when you step on clothing half-hidden under the bed. In particular, Eddie's blazer.

And it all comes flooding back.

---

"Hey, how are you doin'?" Warren greets you good-naturedly from his place on the couch as soon as you enter his incredibly big hotel room, full of people mingling. "Is it just me or do you look sexier than usual?"

Before you can respond, Karen appears and wraps an arm around your waist, eyebrow raised at Warren.

"Back off, Rojas. She's mine." She tells the drummer, who defensively raises his hands in the air.

You laugh at the interaction as Karen turns to look at you.

"Seriously though, you look incredible. That dress is stunning." She tells you, smiling, and you return it.

"Thank you! Almost didn't wear it, but I'm glad you like it."

"Oh, trust me, I'm not the only one." Karen replies, smirking, as she subtly nods her head towards the other end of the room. You turn around and see Eddie, whose eyes widen when your gazes meet. He promptly resumes his conversation with Graham, cheeks slightly flushed.

You look him over, taking note of his dark red velvet blazer that hugs him in just the right places and the unbuttoned white shirt underneath which reveals just the right amount of skin, and you start feeling a little warmer yourself.

"He's been looking at you since you arrived." Karen elaborates, adding fuel to the fire, and you smile to yourself. Ever so perceptive, the keyboardist notices that too, and links her arm with yours, leading you to the drinks table. You can feel Eddie staring at you as you walk away and you have to put in an embarrassing amount of effort just to not trip on your own feet.

When Karen hands you a shot, you drink it immediately, hoping that the taste distracts you from even thinking about Eddie. It doesn't. In fact, it only heightens your senses to the point where all you can focus on is him. You steal glances at him when he isn't looking, silently admiring him until you lose track of time. Various people come up to you, at one point Karen leaves you alone for a bit to go talk to an old friend, and you really, truly don't know if it's been minutes, hours or millennia since this damn party started, but when you look up from your whiskey and see a girl touching Eddie's arm, flirtatiously laughing at something he said, everything snaps back into place. Suddenly, your dress is too short, your heels too uncomfortable, makeup too sticky, hair too tangled, and you feel like you can't breathe. You're drunk and the room is closing in around you.

You're at homecoming again, watching as the homecoming queen leaves with your date. You're at graduation, looking at your boyfriend of two years through teary eyes, as he tells you that he "just isn't feeling it anymore". You're at Warren Rojas's party, loving someone who will never love you back.

You stumble towards the balcony, wiping a lone tear from your cheek. Karen calls out after you, and you really don't want to ignore her like this, but your mouth isn't even capable of forming the words to tell her that you just need some air. You shakily wave a hand towards the direction her voice came from, trying to dismiss her worries, as you step out onto the balcony and feel the cold evening air hit your face.

You inhale sharply, choking on the wave of tears that had threatened to drown you just a second ago, greedily gulping the freezing breeze in hopes that it would kill the poison inside your stomach. Wrapping your naked arms around yourself, you look up towards the starry sky.

"I look like a mess." You mutter to yourself, voice hoarse although you've barely said anything all night.

You hear the sliding doors open and close behind you, and just as you're about to turn around and politely tell the intruder to piss off, a velvet blazer is being wrapped around you.

"Never." A familiar voice responds and your sluggish brain can barely process that the whole reason for your mini-breakdown in the first place is now in the cramped balcony space with you.

"Eddie, what are you doing here?" You question as you slowly turn around to face him.

He looks beautiful, you think for a moment,

but he isn't yours, a second voice berates you a beat later.

Eddie looks at you like you've just asked him what colour the sky was.

"You're upset." He puts it bluntly, eyes frantically looking over every part of your face, as if you being upset and him coming to your rescue correlate to each other whatsoever. As if it's a given.

You blink up at him. He reaches and wipes off a tear that escaped from the corner of your eye. You can feel the calluses on his fingers, the ones only a guitarist could have, the ones you have as well.

"Are you..." He swallows and his nervousness almost makes you smile. "Are you okay?"

You're tempted to lie the way you usually do when you're asked something like that.

"It doesn't matter." You brush his inquiry off instead, looking down at your feet and starting to pull his blazer off your shoulders. "Here's your-"

In the blink of an eye, the sides of your neck are being enveloped by warm hands and your head tilted upwards. Empty eyes meet urgent ones.

"I don't buy that for a second, don't give me that bullshit!" He tells you, desperation laced within anger, helplessness hidden underneath fury. "Don't, don't fucking shut me out again, the way you always do. I'm sick of it."

The air itself hisses back, responding on your behalf with a sudden, unforgiving breeze. Eddie's panting like he's been waiting centuries to say that, while you shiver in his hands.

"Don't act like you give a shit, Roundtree, because I know you don't." You tell him and his mouth opens slightly in surprise. "Don't act like you care."

He's so close to you that your foreheads almost touch.

"Well, I do care. A fucking lot, actually." He fires back and you sigh, closing your eyes.

"Why?" You simply ask, exhausted by the turn the conversation has taken, but you still allow yourself the liberty to bury your head in his chest. You wouldn't have done so normally, but the alcohol in your system makes you braver. He puts his head on top of yours and you feel his heart beating rapidly as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Will you freak out on me if I told you I love you?"

Your head snaps up so fast it’s a miracle your neck doesn’t break. Eddie is looking at you, lips parted and anxiety swimming in his eyes. You open your mouth and close it, like a fish out of water, unable to think, say or do anything at all.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, forget I even said anything, I’m probably drunk.” Eddie apologizes needlessly, shaking his head, interpreting your reaction as rejection and turns to leave.

You grab him by the collar of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks. Before he has the chance to apologize again, which you know he will, you kiss him. His lips are soft, softer than yours, and you suddenly realize that there’s no drug, no food, no man better than this. He stands still for a moment, in shock, but when your hands press against his chest, he grasps the sides of your face, leaning into the kiss.

You don’t know how long you stand there, kissing each other, but when you have to break apart for air, you force yourself to ask him a question instead of continuing to kiss him the way you want to.

“Are you serious? About loving me?”

Eddie smiles at you so brightly that the stars above don’t even hold a candle to him.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

---

"You look good wearing my shirt." His sleepy voice behind you compliments and you turn around to face him.

Half of his face is buried in the pillow, but it still makes your heart flutter. He reaches out towards you, opening his hand and closing it and you can only interpret it as him wanting you to come back to bed.

You comply, anxiety gone, and he rolls on his back, letting you lay your head down on his chest. He wraps an arm around your waist and you can feel him kiss your forehead.

"Eddie..." You start, one last question on your mind. "How exactly did we end up here?"

He turns to look at you, fingertips brushing back and forth against your skin.

"Well, uh, Billy almost caught us making out, and I suggested...taking things back to my room." He sums up and you blush at his choice of words. He doesn't seem to be as affected as you, a smug smirk pulling up the corner of his mouth. "You enjoyed yourself. I made sure of that."

You almost scoff at him, but you know he's telling the truth. The evidence is all over your body.

"Really?" You say, on the verge of smiling as you climb into his lap. His hands grab your hips to balance you with such casualness, you almost forget you kissed him for the first time yesterday. "I don't remember much. I was hoping you could refresh my memory."

As soon as the words fall out of your mouth, Eddie's sleepiness vanishes comically fast - in an instant, he's grabbing and kissing you. You thought it'd take a bit longer to convince him, but you aren't complaining at all.

You return the kiss immediately, and you're happy to find out that the feel of his lips is so much better when you're sober. Soon enough you can feel him hardening beneath you. You start taking off your (his) shirt, but he stops you.

"Don't. I want to have you like this." Eddie explains and starts kissing down your neck, rushing like he might die if he isn't touching your skin.

You're about to moan out his name as his hands slip underneath the shirt, gently scraping the skin with short nails, when the door opens.

"Eddie, man, you won't believe who I sa- Holy shit, I'm so sorry, Jesus Christ!"

---

WARREN ROJAS: That shit left me scarred for life. Should I have knocked? Yeah, I mean, probably. But man, was it traumatizing. [silence] I'm happy for them, though.

[karenandhenwilson]

Emotions are running high right now. We are all horribly hurt. And every single person is entitled to those emotions. But I have some thoughts about Oliver not many people right in this moment might agree with. I still want to share it and maybe some people might be able to take in a different perspective in a couple of days or a couple of weeks when the pain is less present.

I think what Oliver really has been saying in his interviews without being able to outright say it is that he doesn't want any kind of romantic relationship for Buck at all anymore. But he still wants to remind the GA regularly that this character is bisexual, and they'll only remember that if he is shown casually dating men and women.

There are two reasons that led me to this thought.

First, Oliver said earlier this year he was tired of Buck going from one relationship to another. He alluded several times that he hoped this might be a permanent relationship. (Comparing it to Tarlos? What else is that?) I think he also mentioned that he is tired/bored of playing Buck going from one relationship to another. And up until these latest interviews he has always been very careful and supportive in his words. Have you all already forgotten how he shut down that narrative in the live interview this week about having to change his roles for Buck? Despite celebrating him for it?

Second, Oliver has seen and experienced by himself how everyone playing a LI for Buck or Eddie is treated. It reached a new and horrible low with Lou. (What are the chances those horrible CSA fics didn't reach the crew?) I think everyone on set is aware that with the next actor, it might become even worse, and we know they're all hit by it. We've seen Oliver being fed up by it lately. (Him calling out that fanart blog the other week?) I can understand that Oliver doesn't want that anymore, either for himself and the other mains on the cast or for new actors coming in.

Was his choice of words maybe a little ill-considered? Yeah.

But I don't even trust the reporters not to deliberately twist his words or leave out things he said. (Because they're all following the Buddie narrative. We know that.) And I think all the actors, including Oliver and Lou, are restricted in what they can say by their contracts. We have also seen Oliver getting increasingly frustrated, and we've seen both Oliver and Lou retreat in different ways from the public over the past months.

Oliver is only human and not perfect and we knew that before this week. There have been people in this fandom reminding us of that fact every so often, reminding us not to put him on a pedestal. So I find it really hypocritical for some people to now turn around and take the most bad-faith interpretation of his words as gospel. But I guess, in the end, all of fandom is the same and there really isn't much difference between different groups.

And I'm not saying I can't understand why other queer, especially bisexual, people are hurt by those words. What I don't understand is that one badly worded idea* suddenly negates all the careful support Oliver has shown, up until the live interview earlier this week I mentioned above. What I don't understand is that suddenly Oliver gets messages starting with "I know you're just a straight guy" when we have no idea at all if that's true. (Are we really going to the place of "you have to out yourself for your support or opinion to be valid"? Does it always have to be the same? Aren't we ever learning?) (And I feel, for this very reason, I have to point out here that I identified from my early teens on as bisexual, and only changed that a couple of years ago to demi/pan after I went on a research bing about asexuality while trying to help my sister figure herself out. So, yes, if only bisexual people are allowed to have an opinion about biphobia, I very much still count myself under the bisexual umbrella.)

I personally don't give a fuck about the "if" in Oliver's statement on IG he shared for a while. If Oliver has learned one thing from this fandom, it is that no matter what he says, it will be misconstrued and misinterpreted. So I don't fault him if he doesn't give a fuck anymore and doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about every single word in any of his statements, because, in the end, that's wasted time. (I honestly think it's a strange culture we live in to give single words or phrases so much weight instead of looking at the whole picture.)

*I'd like you all to take a look at Buck's character over all eight seasons and then think about what Oliver said again. We met Buck as this guy who went out seeking sex regularly and not always in a healthy way. He only stopped that after a traumatic event (of course, Dr. Wells is never interpreted as such on the show). But he returned to seeking out sex as comfort after he accepted that Abby wouldn't come back. I think we can assume that he did so after other relationships, too, because Eddie was surprised that Buck didn't take the numbers of those women in the Bachelor scene, but that's an interpretation of course.

It's absolutely in character for Buck to seek out sexual relationships without attachment even if he has shown a desire for attachment. That's been there from day one. I find it pretty insane to call that characterization biphobic now when it has been there from long before it was even discussed to have Buck discover he is bi. (Okay, yes, I know people have been looking down at him for that all along, and there is this narrative in the show and in fandom that "he got over it". But I think that's a problem of many people viewing casual sex as inherently bad and falling into that mindset without even noticing. That's got nothing to do with biphobia.)

[extasiswings]

I have been noticing things, and I don't know what to make of them, so I am bringing them to you, because you have been blessed/cursed by Apollo's dodgeball and are also great at connecting dots. I apologise.

I am worried about Buck's lungs. His sats dropped when he was in a coma, to the point of needing ECMO, but during his recovery we only saw him see a cardiologist, no respiratory rehab was mentioned. Now his PT scores are down. The show has also been weirdly pointed about focusing on sats monitors being put on people's fingers during calls. They've done it on at least 3 of the calls since Buck's been back, and at no point have the people's sats been mentioned - even the woman face down in dough, who was started on oxygen. That in itself isn't a big deal - they're a quick way of getting a heartrate, and its standard practice to put one on. But why keep showing them? Then this week, Maddie had the call with the kid where she had to remind him how to breathe.

So, what do you think? Is there anything there, or am I projecting because I'm having to have respiratory physio after covid?

Just when I thought I couldn't get any more unhinged! No, there is DEFINITELY something there and I'm not gonna be normal about it. There are a couple of different places my mind went to (because it's not just Buck, Eddie's in this too) so apologies if this is scattered:

Buck + Death is the big overarching theme looming over Buck's healing journey. Buck's life has been about Death since before he was even born, when he was conceived to be a savior baby...and was a match...but Daniel still died anyway. And Buck has been running towards Death ever since, seeking it out, courting it like a lover without even realizing why, never knowing that Daniel's ghost was haunting him. He has internalized so completely this idea that his value is entirely dependent on what he can do for others, on how much he can sacrifice, can give, up to and including his own life. The fact that the problem was Buck's lungs in the episode where he was reckoning with Daniel for the first time while trapped in his subconscious mind was inspired and a huge callback to Buck Begins, after Buck first learned about Daniel, with Buck in the warehouse fire taking off his mask and telling the guy he was trying to save that he would just hold his breath. And Buck's been holding his breath in a sense ever since. Spiraling. Stagnating. Regressing. He quit therapy. He trapped himself for a year in a soulless relationship because he was already depressed but then the shooting happened and Eddie basically told him he wasn't allowed to keep trying to kill himself, taking away one of his main self-harming coping mechanisms (passive suicidality brushed off by telling himself he's actually helping people), all of that.

There are also the crush injuries surrounding him (which I wrote about in 6A as being super sus). Thomas and Mitchell and a car accident crush injury, the first call where Buck begins explicitly associating romantic love with death. Buck being crushed under the ladder truck, which ultimately led to the blood clots and a pulmonary embolism because he wouldn't let himself rest and recover, wouldn't let himself heal or slow down, because he was too focused on getting back to work where he could (in his mind) be useful, be worth something, could save lives. And he admitted then that he didn't know what/who he was without the job, and ironically almost torched all of his relationships with the people who love him regardless in order to get back to it. And then of course there's also Lev. Lev trying to find the secrets to happiness but instead being crushed to death by a walkway that collapsed because the hotel identified the problem but never made the repairs. And it was through him that Buck started thinking that he could find all the answers he's been looking for in death.

But...Buck died. Actually died. And despite his joke about his math powers and being the guy with the answers, he doesn't have them all.

At the end of 6x11, he took a breath. He took a step. He allowed himself a little bit of self-awareness, of self-reflection, he dipped his toe into the water of the root trauma that has led him to all the others. But he's awake now, and what has he done? By all accounts it looks like exactly what he's done every other time/like he's falling back into the same bad habits. He let his mom steamroll him into getting him a couch that he didn't want. He threw himself back into work as soon as he could and keeps trying to brush off the fact that he went through a serious trauma (physical/mental/emotional) to the point that the people who love him have to keep reminding him that he literally died. He has the tools he needs to heal, but isn't actually taking the steps to get there. And, as you point out, they're potentially foreshadowing that there are still problems with his lungs that may still get worse.

Because Buck is, at heart, one big crush injury. He has been suffocating under the weight of trauma after trauma since he was born, conceived in grief and then discarded. He has been suffocating under the weight of hiding his true feelings from others (up to and including hiding them from himself) and leaving so many necessary things unsaid. But it also makes me think about Eddie and Home Invasion and the call at Marisol's and everything that I've been saying about insulation as protection but too much protection stifling you so much that you can't breathe. Buck being "the settler" in romantic relationships because he can't get hurt (at least not as badly) if he's not actually attached to the relationship, never going after/asking for what he really wants. Eddie being his own variation on "the fugitive" always running from the things that he's most afraid of. Both of them trying desperately to protect their hearts from getting broken and instead ending up in a place where they are both always dying...

Idk, there's something about Buck + Death and Eddie + Fear and Buck constantly suffocating vs. Eddie drowning, and Buck starting the season not wanting to make the same mistakes but also possibly "misunderstanding the assignment" with this death doula, and water finding its level...yeah...yeah...

[mrsnancywheeler]

thank u for feeding us with billy dunne content, we were truly starved of fics for him <3

your blurbs about being his on and off again gf has me imagining how exhausting it must be to be fighting with billy, getting back together, seeing him with another groupie, and the cycle repeats

and you are having one of those fights. it’s no different than the other ones, but you’re exhausted. why aren’t you enough? And this could be early into the relationship, so you just start crying. you don’t mean to cry. In fact, you’ve been holding it for so long. But maybe he just said something that struck a nerve with you, or the more you argue the more frustrated/tired you got of holding it all in.

so you’re standing there crying, wiping your tears and sniffing softly. maybe billy had his back turned towards you in frustration when you started crying, so he didn’t immediately notice. but when he noticed the room got quieter and he hears you sniffing he turns around and just stands there.

tbfh, i don’t see him instantly being apologetic. he might just stand there for a while before going to comfort you. he’d hug you and whisper sweet nothings and maybe just be like “let’s stop fighting,” bc of course he’s not going to apologize. you both know nothing’s gonna change after this, and you’ll always come back to him. Because he’s billy freakin dunne

(bonus points if this is all happening in a hotel, and eddie is in the room right next to yours. so he heard everything. when he sees u next morning, eyes all puffy, all he can think about is how he can treat you so much better. and maybe billy notices how he’s staring at you, so he pulls up closer or drags you away lol)

yes ofc pookie, he's my man, I love him sm, I'm happy to feed the crowd 💋

some nsfw mentions, drugs, alcohol, arguments, toxic relationships things

literally so exhausting, which makes me think of something else that I can talk about later, but anyways like you don't think you've been able to go more then three maybe four months max without having a big blow up fight, and ofc there's smaller fights in between.

but this time you feel like you're losing touch with reality because you'd just been out for a couple of hours, ate dinner with a friend, picked a couple things up from the store. you knew billy was in one of us moods and had been for a hot sec, but when you get back to your hotel room you open the door to find him, on the bed, doing drugs with some groupies who've clearly been feeling him up.

they look at him, and you, back to him, and you, he's smoking a joint without a care in the world and you make a gesture for them to leave. with an eye roll from one of them, they're leaving, you can see the hickies, he's so fucking disgusting. one of the girls is walking past you and you smell and unmistakable scent, "oh my god, are you wearing my fucking perfume? what the fuck, billy." you look back at him who says nothing as you shut the door behind them, quickly finding your perfume without the lid on and fixing that problem asap.

"what the fuck, baby, I can drink with whoever I want too, it's my hotel room. get off my ass."

"I'm not on your ass, all I asked about was my perfume!"

"oh my god!" you start throwing blankets off the bed, pulling off the sheets. "what the hell are you doing?"

"it's fucking disgusting, billy. have at least a little fucking decency next time." he's getting off the bed which only allows you to take off the rest of the bedsheets.

"I didn't do anything, we were just having a drink. you're my girl, you know that." he's such a liar and you can feel how much your heart is racing as you pick up the phone, dialing up room service. asking as politely as you can for new sheets even though your voice is shaking. a flash of something lacy catches your eyes, and you instantly know the pair of panties isn't yours. there should be more hesitation when you go to pick it up, but there isn't. and you're on it the moment you hang up the phone.

"fucking disgusting!" you throw it on the pile of sheets.

"I didn't ask anyone to do anything, I didn't do anything! can't even smoke a goddamn joint anymore." he's making you feel hysterical, like you're the one unhinged, but you're not the one who constantly has other women draped over you everytime you're upset. "what do you want me to do when you're not around?"

"am I supposed to just wait around all the time? what do you want from me?" you're exhausted, this is so tiring, but you should have expected that. he was a rockstar, and no one was perfect.

"need you to be there for me! you've got one job, if you can't do it I'm sure I can find someone else who can!" a knock on the door interrupts everything, it's housekeeping. there's an awkward silence of you taking the new sheets, giving her the old, leading her out the door. billy does a line in the silence and you resent him for it, how can he just keep going when you're trying to get through to him. as she leaves you see eddie. he's just standing in the hallway and gives you an 'are you okay?' look and you hate that he knows you so well.

"stay in your lane, eddie." billy is suddenly behind you, closing the door, arm extended over you.

you turn around, back resting on the door, hands rubbing your face. "billy, what are we?" there's a beat before he tries to kiss, you like that'll answer anything. maybe he's hoping since it's only been a few months, only a few fights it'll fix everything. you let him for a second before pulling away, hand resting on his chest. "billy."

then he's yelling again, "you always act like you deserve more from me, you're a fucking groupie, and you don't have to be the only one." you dodge around him, grabbing a bag, throwing your stuff into it. "pulling that shit again doesn't change anything, you can't expect me to have the same spot waiting for you when you come crawling back."

"you can't expect me to want you back when you call because nobody does it for you like me." you've thrown is some shirts, some pants, anything you can.

he's closer to you now, face barely inches from yours. "anyone can wear your perfume and be just as much of a leech as you are."

you're shoving him away from you, "fuck you!"

"it's the only thing you're good at." his smirk is fucking sickening, and even more so that his hair so messy makes him look so sexy.

"you're the worst, billy." your voice is a lot weaker now, he's always so harsh with his words. your chest hurts.

"that must be why you're so desperate, so fucking jealous. there will always be girls just like you." he's going to take another line and you can't hold back anymore. you feel the warm tears streaming down your face and give up on zipping the bag to cover your face. it's too much, you just want to feel secure in your relationship, whatever type of relationship this may be. and you are whenever he's not being like this.

you're lost in the silence of the sobs racking through your chest, it's embarrassing to be crying like this in front of him, it makes you feel young, weak, not mature enough to be with billy dunne but once you've started you can't stop anymore. you don't know how long had passed when his arms are around you, letting you cry into his chest instead. "c'mere baby, let's not fight anymore." he reeks of whiskey and cigarettes, but it's weirdly comforting. "let's go get some ice cream, I'll show you some stuff I've been working on, don't like fighting with my girl." you know that soon enough he'll be all drunk again, pissy, tell you how replaceable you are, but right now he'll make you feel like that's not true and so maybe it's worth it.

and the next morning you're eating breakfast in the hotel lobby and eddie is sulking. looking at you as he thinks about how you deserve to not be told how you mean nothing and then briefly made up to. you deserve to really be loved. he keeps looking at you and billy sees it. sees the way eddie stars at you, how eddie has always stared at you, and he despises it. because despite everything you're his, his inspiration, his muse, and he's pulling you from standing up into his lap. and you're laughing, asking what he's doing before he kisses you.

"just kissing my girl."

[mikhardwheat]

Max and Eddie: Detention is a Family Gathering.

Eddie: okay, I won't ruin the school property anymore, I've learn my lesson, guilty as charged, never happening again

Principal: well, that's it, Munson, you can go now

Eddie: bye, see ya later

Principal: didn't you just sa-

He walks out of the principal's office, locks eyes with Max.

Eddie: no

Max:

Eddie: you can't do that again, Red

Max: but it's funny

Eddie: it was

Eddie: for the first three times

Max: Steve and Robin have shifts, Nancy is tutoring today

Eddie:

Eddie: okay, let's go

He turns around and goes to the principal office. Door opens, principal looks at him in question. He slowly moves away from the doorframe and principal immediately sighs.

They both sit down, Eddie's face is now clear of any emotion.

Eddie: what this little innocent lady could've possibly done wrong? whatever you have to say, it wasn't her fault, I'm sure

Max's knuckles are visibly bruised, there's still blood on her bottom lip and she struggles to keep her laugh inside, when principal sends them both an unimpressed gaze.

Principal: Mr. Munson, I would like to see one of Max's real parents or legal guardians for this meeting

Eddie: I'm the only one available at the moment

Principal: I insist on the matter.

Eddie: I am her emergency contact, and I am here. let's just discuss the issue so we all can go home

Principal: we've already discussed it three times in two weeks, and there was no improvement in Max's behavior, these conversations clearly do not work

Eddie: so what to we do

Principal: parent or guardian, Mr. Munson.

Eddie:

Eddie: I'm not sure if that's a good idea

Eddie: but what can I say... Max, call Steve, would ya?

Max: he's working

Eddie: principal here wants to see a responsible adult who can take some action, since I'm not capable, apparently, so give 'em a responsible adult

Max: Steve isn't a-

Eddie: just do it already, I'm not waiting here til the morning

Max: fine

It takes exactly 7 minutes for Steve to enter the principal's office. He still is in his uniform, breathing uneven - as if he was running. He should've used his car to get there.

Steve: good evening?..

Principal: Mr Harrington?

Steve: that would be me, yes

Principal: and your connection to Max is..?

Steve: I'm her brother. is... is everything okay, what did you need me for?

Principal: please, sit down, there's a lot to discuss

Steve sits down, looking at Max and Eddie beforehand. There is no guilt in those eyes. Eddie's mouth twitches as he tries not to giggle.

Principal: it's the forth time we happen to meet with Max in my office, second one this week

Steve: forth time???

He looks at Eddie again, but he avoids the eye contact, pretending to be interested in the wall's ornament.

Principal: her behavior is questionable, at last. she initiates lots of fights - mostly verbal, but there are physical ones too

Principal: she almost broke a boy's arm today

Steve notices Max's knuckles, and even though his expression seems thoughtful, both Max and Eddie could tell he is, in fact, angry.

Steve: who was it?

Principal: please, elaborate?

Steve: the boy you mentioned to provoke Max?

Principal: Mr. Harrington, I assure you, nobody provoked anyone

Steve: if there was a fight, there was a reason for it too. Who is this "boy" and why isn't he now here, with us?

Principal: I assure you, Jason doesn't need to be here, he wasn't the one to initiate the fight. we're talking about Max's predisposition towards violence

Steve: Eddie, do you know the Jason guy?

Eddie: probably? isn't he the one from the basketball team?

Max: yeah, he's the one

Steve: any idea where can we find him?

Eddie: not sure

Steve, turning to principal: do you have his address or his parents' phone numbers?

Principal: we do, but we're not allowed to share private information of our students

Steve: you are, if there's an emergency

Principal: there's no such thing as emergency-

Steve: didn't you previously say we should do something about Max's behavior?

Principal: you sure can talk it through

Steve: we did that already, you mentioned this meeting to be the forth one

Principal: they were in presence of Mr Munson, yes

Steve: and he can't be silent for more than a minute, so it clearly didn't work.

Steve: and I want to talk to a boy who presumably is the reason why I had to leave my job in the middle of the shift and waste my time here. Let me contact his parents or do it yourself, I don't care.

Steve: you can't expect her to be teached a lesson if she's the only one to be punished for her actions. either I see other kids who were included or I take her home and you don't call me here ever again, and are dealing with Munson instead

Principal:

Principal: I won't call Jason's parents, Mr. Harrington, you should-

Steve stands up.

Steve: then we're finished here. hurry up, kids, I'm driving you home

Steve: thanks for your time

He opens the door, Max and Eddie go through it without a question, principal is left alone in his office.

[staceymcgillicuddy]

im super late to the "tell me about my writing" but I'm still going to do it.

"soul" was the first thing I read by you and I knew it was going to be be brilliant right from the jump for two reasons (besides the obvious, which is that you are a goddess-level storyteller and master of prose):

Eddie having an ordinary blue-collar job. Don't get me wrong, I love hellcheer fics in any form, and I love that in this verse, Eddie isn't a famous rockstar or have some other cool-adjacent profession like comic book writer or tattoo artist. That deviation hooked me. It makes total sense that he get a CDL and do this, even if it's not his true passion.

2. The time-specific details that you slipped in that were 100% accurate. I think that is part of the reason that I can get completely immersed in this story and forget that this isn't fiction. The other part is the introspection and the rich, robust characterization and perfect pacing, but you know that 😘

i also have to eat crow bc I remember mentioning that I thought you left in an anachronism by mentioning a plastic water bottle in Soul. I just watched a YouTube video of a live Guns n' Roses concert from 1988 and saw Axl Rose take a drink from a clear plastic disposable water bottle that looked exactly like one that you can buy at 7-11 today. So apparently they were around back then!

Love your work so much. I'm so eager to read the next part of perception check!

AW MAN. You know I love your comments and that I feel as though I never respond adequately to them. I so appreciate the close read and the fact that you pick up on things I throw in where I think, "nobody will ever pick up on that" and then YOU DO. It's like magic!

Point number one is so funny because as I've been working on the epilogue I've been trying to put in ways that their partnership allows Eddie to feel free to try some shit that he might not have tried before, but also that he has to keep working the jobs he's working to pay the bills, and so on and so forth. I hope I strike a decent balance when it actually comes out!

[lovecolibri]

"It's like eating rice cakes" that description is soooo accurate and has me on the floor lmao 6A IS indeed dry af I can literally visualize the styrofoam taste lmaoooo

🤣🤣🤣

It's just sooooo lacking in substance. And it's really extra frustrating because the set up for some delicious and deep moments were like, RIGHT there! Even in s5 we had things like the perfect set up for Eddie having to listen to his firefam be in danger and unable to help, and Buck having some deep conversations with Bobby about Eddie and reinforcing their father/son bond. So then, when Bobby was in danger, the emotional beat with someone like Chim or Eddie telling Buck to relax because Bobby was going to be okay would actually land and would have given Bobby something to do as well. But s6 had SUCH potential with the blimp crash, with Buck being allowed to make a choice for himself instead of just having to react after someone else makes the choices, with Bobby having things about Wendall all season leading up to 6x09, with Madney's love story coming back together and healing ON SCREEN, with Buck/Bobby having that father/son dynamic back, with Buck's storyline being intertwined and influenced by Chris and Eddie's/Henren and Denny's/Madney and Jee's (for serious SO many opportunities), with the Eddie and Chim dynamic, with the Chim getting abducted while Maddie listened to that and then Buck putting himself in danger to save him, just....it's all RIGHT THERE. The emotional beats are so big it takes WORK for the show to completely miss them so hard.

This is why I'm always tagging things asking Tim to come back. Completely outside of the Buddie of it all, he was SO good at telling stories, bringing multiple plotlines together and having multiple plots for different characters running at once, not dragging things out more than needed, and just a general cohesiveness to everything, especially in regards to the emergencies helping push existing arcs along instead of just feeling like filler to take up time. He was also REALLY good at pacing and emotional balance between dramatics and fun as well as making sure that the characters, storylines, and emergencies/victimes were treated with respect and with heart.

We know for a fact that Tim was the one making Kristen include those intimate conversations so they happened on screen and those moments really held a lot of the heart and depth of the show. It's become really clear with 6a how badly those are missing now that there isn't the excuse of main characters being missing.

Take out the depth and heart of the show, and it looses what made it special, what made it stand out from other shows, and what made it resonate with such a wide audience. The fact that every social media has seen people mentioning the show feeling off/boring/filler/not the same really says that it's not just a handful of Buddie fans being needlessly picky. I know casual viewers and evey they are telling me they're bored and miss how the show used to be. And it's pretty clear where the issue is coming from because WHEN the cast gets their moments to shine they are still knocking those moments out of the park.

[blubushie]

Part 2

 Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 

 What causes them to feel dread? 

 Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? 

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

What animal do they fear most? (mostly for Jesse)

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Jesse does not since she doesn't have a specific ideal she adheres to. Mundy is very strict with his Polite, professional, plan to kill everyone mantra, but those are also rules for Sniper. Mundy isn't always polite, in fact he's blunt to the point of it being detrimental at times, and you only have to take a glance at how he views Jesse to know that "be professional" isn't something he can always help.

But he does have a plan, even for Jesse.

What causes them to feel dread?

For Jesse, it's silence. She's a complete Velcro dog and doesn't do well at all alone. There's a reason she's always talking, and it's mainly because

She’d explained more about Mikey too, mostly in passing. He’d learnt that he’d died when she was twelve from an overdose, and that her family hadn’t found out until a few days later. “Losin’ Mikey is when shit went to hell,” she’d said during one quiet night, standing in that little kitchenette and stirring a pot of pasta as Mundy had searched for his pepper mill. “Then we found out Dom and Eddie were goin’ to Vietnam the year after—three days after my birthday, man. They were dead by Christmas. Then Tommie ran away. After that it was just Ma and me, and it was quiet. And…” She’d sighed, and he’d caught the way she’d stopped stirring, just for a moment. “I don’t like the quiet.”

For Mundy, it's the opposite. Too much noise is overwhelming in general, but it's especially difficult as a hitman. Noise means he can't hear what the people around him are saying since there's too much sound and it all gets muddled together. He dislikes crowds for the same reason. They make him nervous since he can't keep his eyes on everyone all at the same time. This is the reason he always stays in the corner of rooms. It protects from him being blindsided from behind and also allows him to peoplewatch and keep an eye on the crowd in addition to clearly seeing anyone approaching him.

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

Jesse is incredibly embarrassed and in chapter 13 she gets flustered just by Mundy mentioning cocktails with very raunchy names. Part of this may be because of her crush on Mundy, however. When she had a crush on Jeremy she had no issue discussing him or singing his praises to Liem. Liem's told her a few things and Jesse's told him a few things. She doesn't mind discussing it, but her inexperience is a sore point for her. She only knows about chicks, since she had a girlfriend (Becca) and also hooked up with a chick at a block party when she was a teenager (and got to second base, onya sport).

Mundy has experience (and a lot of it) but generally doesn't discuss it. (This is actually something I've learnt is a general rule. Most people who get around don't talk about the details. There's a rare few like me who'll mention it, but if someone's giving an extensive run-down of what happened like it's a play-by-play, fair chance they're having a lend of you.) It's not something that makes him uncomfortable, and he's mentioned a few of his exploits to Jesse in passing, but it's not something he goes into detail about at risk of sounding like he's big-noting himself. If Jesse pried about what actually happened then he'd be more willing to indulge her with details, but in the meantime he won't regale her unless she explicitly asks him to.

His own team is a different matter. There's a bit of bloke chat about it especially with Jeremy, but Mundy is also Mundy, the bloke who gets uncomfortable just with prolonged eye contact. He's almost like a different person when he's seducing someone--much more confident--and there's a fair chance no one but Ludwig actually believes that Mundy is as successful in his efforts as he says he is, and that's only because Mundy goes to Ludwig for bimonthly tests to make sure he's in good order. He's careful at least--usually--but there's been a few times he's had to reset through RESPAWN because there's some things even our modern medicine can't fix. Spy has some suspicion that Mundy is being honest when he mentions his exploits specifically because he's not going into extensive detail about it (unlike Jeremy, who does that often and is obviously lying). Most you ever get out of Mundy is "I had a root with a chick in Rhodesia once" if it pertains to the topic at hand. He's not like Jeremy who comes in from a tucker run and yells "Guess who just got LAID!" and everyone collectively says "No you didn't" at the same time without even looking up.

TL;DR: Mundy isn't uncomfortable talking about it, but he might get a little nervous speaking about it to Jesse just because it's Jesse and he's worried about what she might think of him. Jesse is comfortable talking about it in general as long as it's about chicks (and she will skite about that) but she gets nervous if it's about guys because she doesn't have experience with them and doesn't want people to think she's a prude.

What colour do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that colour?

Mundy thinks he looks good in red. He looks excellent in red. He also looks great in muted earth tones since it compliments his tan. Jesse thinks she looks good in blue. She looks excellent in blue because it really brings out the colour of her eyes. She also thinks she looks good in yellow. She does not look good in yellow. She looks good in white though! Like Mundy, it compliments the tan (but unlike Mundy, it compliments because it contrasts).

On that note, Mundy looks terrible in blue and he knows it. The only blue he could ever wear is a really light blue to the point it's almost white. Mundy however thinks Jesse looks stunning in red, but that's less of a "she looks good in this colour" thing and more of a possessive "she looks good in my colour" thing.

What animal do they fear most?

Mundy has a resistance to native Australian toxins (yay, Australium) and some non-native Australian toxins. That said, the only venomous animal what scares him is the dandarabilla. While he's resistant to toxins, he's not immune, and he's scared that the dandarabilla's venom is potent enough to still actually kill him. He'd still fuck with one though, because he's a bushie and we're reckless and a little stupid and just Like That, but he'd be scared the entire time and do it for the adrenaline rush.

Jesse, meanwhile, just fears snakes in general. She hates them. Mundy proudly shows her a coachwhip he caught (and incredible feat, coachwhips are fast and dicks) and her skin crawls. Snakes are the only animal that freaks her out, but she thinks bats are a little creepy. Not scared of them though.

[coll2mitts]

#30 Funny Girl (1968)

Funny Girl: How Feminism Killed My Marriage!

It was only coincidence I decided to watch Funny Girl after completing my review of A Star is Born, as it hits several of the same plot points.  I honestly thought the only reason they were strikingly similar to me was because I viewed them back-to-back, but then two videos I watched about the Broadway production noted this as well, so I didn't feel entirely unjustified.  Man with lots of money discovers woman before she becomes a star.  They start a obviously doomed relationship and get married right as the wife's career starts to take off.  The husband struggles with his own vices to the detriment of his wife's career, and ultimately their relationship ends because the husband is too proud and can't handle the fact their spouse makes more money than them.  The end.

Although I don't think the plot is necessarily the reason to watch this movie (the reason is to watch Barbra Streisand be the most Barbra Streisand she can be), it is a fictionalized retelling of the rise of real-life burlesque star Fanny Brice and her relationship with her first husband Nick Arnstein.  From all accounts this leans pretty heavy on the fictionalized, as Nicky was married when he and Fanny began their affair, it took him 6 years to get divorced from his previous wife to marry Fanny, and Fanny eventually divorced him because she was sick of him fucking around on her.  Even though her love life was tumultuous, Fanny's career is what made her special, which is why it's a bit annoying that in the majority of this movie it takes a backseat to her fascination with a useless pretty boy.  Although real-life Fanny's character was a Jewish characture, she helped in revising the criteria of what kinds of women could be famous performers.  Beyond a good body and a pretty face, personality and talent were enough to gain notoriety.  Although let's be real, it's not like Fanny was hideous or anything.

Barbra originated this role on Broadway, and it was tailor made to her talents.  Check out the videos linked from Staged Right for a great summary of how the show was created, how Barbra was cast against the wishes of Fanny's non-fictional daughter, and what a seemingly contentious run the Broadway musical had.  When Columbia bought the rights to the show, it was with the understanding Barbra would reprise the role on film. And oh boy, guys, this is probably one of the best love letters to a leading actress I've ever seen committed to celluloid.

Picture it: New York, 1920s. Fanny Brice, with her name in lights on the Ziegfeld Follies marquis, soberly enters backstage and greets herself in a sound clip I used as a log-in alert on AIM for like 6 years. Giving off "I'm going to retire" energy, Fanny wanders the stage and loiters in the empty theater until her assistant Emma finds her and cryptically asks "This is the day, isn't it?". Fanny confirms, and free of context I have no idea if this woman is making a comeback, or leaving showbusiness, or running away to join the circus. When Emma mentions that Ziegfeld is waiting for her, Fanny disassociates and we're treated to a flashback a few years earlier...

Picture it: New York, 1910s. A young Fanny Brice's neighbors are reading her for filth on her appearance and mocking her for having dreams of singing stardom.

I think this is the only ensemble number that doesn't take place on stage.  Any solo or duet numbers with any character that aren't Fanny, like Eddie, Mrs. Brice, and Nick, have been cut so Barbra is on screen almost 100% of the time.  I was genuinely shocked later on when Omar Sharif started singing because I forgot this was something someone other than Barbra was allowed to do.

Fanny heads to her new gig as a beautiful Arabian lady and is immediately fired for not knowing the routine and hamming it up the entire fucking time. The theater owner Mr. Keeney scolds the director Eddie Ryan for even casting such a goof while Fanny refuses to be dismissed and sings and dances her way around until they're forced to physically escort her out of the theater.

Mid-rant, and after accosting a few children, she breaks back in only to find everyone gone except Eddie, who after hearing her pipes asks why she even considered auditioning for a chorus girl when clearly she's a belter. I giggled uncontrollably when Fanny answered, "If you were looking for a juggler, I'd have been a juggler", cause girl, same. When I was a kid I legitimately auditioned for a part in Harlequin that required juggling skills full-well knowing I couldn't, and when asked to prove I could after the singing portion was acceptable, the ensuing display of athletic prowess cemented the fact I would absolutely not be chosen.

I tried googling this musical and I can't find evidence it ever existed. Maybe it was some public school choir teacher's passion project they only got to see kids perform once a year after a 3 week summer camp? Or maybe I had a fever dream when I was 10 and hallucinated being in it? IDK, help me out here.

Eddie decides to give Fanny a second chance at the chorus after she assures him she can roller skate, even though it was a bold-faced lie. After falling on her ass 20 times, which froths the audience into a frenzy, Eddie allows Fanny to sing a solo. Her unique blend of comedy, talent, and the sudden ability to skate once she's getting sole attention from everyone, wins over Mr. Kenney and Fanny is tentatively offered a permanent position.

"Honey hurry up, hurry up, hurry up..." is Barbra's signature slurry phrasing at its peak.

Fanny's shenanigans also catch the eye of a ridiculously attractive gambler Nicky Arnstein, who successfully hustles Mr. Kenney to hire Fanny for $50 a week, but is unsuccessful in asking Fanny out. She shrugs off his advances after surmising she is well out of his league, but oh my god, how the hell would anyone turn down Omar Sharif? I am not that strong willed.

According to Wikipedia, this is the fourth movie on this list that almost cast Frank Sinatra (previous ones including A Star is Born, The Music Man, and Easter Parade). For as much as y'all know I love Frankie, whoever suggested him over Omar should be well and truly slapped.

Several months later, there's a commotion on Henry street when the Brice's receive a telegram, and once the shock that someone hadn't died worn off, they're left in the wake of Ziegfeld's request for Fanny to come by his theater and audition. She reacts in a completely reasonable way.

Unsurprisingly, she aces the audition, and after fighting with Ziegfeld over how beautiful he thinks she is verses how she thinks she's not, she turns his new finale number from a bizarre ode to seasonal brides into a comedy act about a shotgun wedding in order to deflect anticipated criticism away from her face.

Peek a small cameo from Anne Francis, whose part was cut down so much she tried to get herself removed from the credits altogether. It's fine, instead she'll forever be known as the woman who pranked Dorothy Zbornak by pretending to die while beating her at tennis.

Fanny averts termination even though she deliberately ignored the directions of the director, again, because she's too much of a hit. She rides the high of bossing around Ziegfeld right into the arms of Nicky, who just so happens to be there on her opening night. This time she takes him back to her mother's saloon and he politely allows her friends and family to clean out his pockets at poker even though he's a bit of a professional gambler.

After charming the entire block, Nicky convinces Fanny to follow him to a second location out into the alley so they can be alone, and like, sure, this is a colossally bad idea, but how do you say no to that smile? After establishing both of them are single, Nicky adds more red flags to the parade of them by saying he's been with thousands of women because he likes to feel free and never has definite plans. Fanny reacts to this information by babbling incoherently about how some people kinda like being in relationships and Nicky kisses her to shut her up before riding off into the night.

I would die. Just drop dead right there, thank you and good night, it's been a good life.

Flash forward AN ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR and Fanny randomly runs into Nick again at a train station in Baltimore while the Follies are on their national tour. He invites her to dinner in a private dining room at their hotel, and while she momentarily pretends to be aloof, once inside she does exactly what I would do immediately if left alone in a room with Omar Sharif in 1967.

Fanny asks why Nicky never called on her a year and two weeks ago and he explicitly says he could smell the virgin all over her and didn't think she could hang. When asked what has changed now, he replies, "If you don't, it's time you learned."

So... they bone, and continue to bone the entire week the Follies are in town. Unfortunately after 7 days Nicky's racehorse turned into a pumpkin and he has to leave Fanny behind to board a boat to Europe to scam a bunch of bored dudes out of money since he doesn't have any anymore. Of course Nicky confesses to Fanny he's suddenly in love, so instead of going their separate ways after a brief sexcapade, Fanny abandons the show and makes a big romantic gesture by taking a tugboat to Nicky's waterborne casino to surprise him. Her coworkers try to convince Fanny this is a colossally bad idea and you could anger a million bulls with all the red flags Nicky's waving, but she simply. cannot say no. to that smile. I would make a joke that his dick must be legendary but she wouldn't know any better if it wasn't.

Oh look, another helicopter shot from the 1960s that's a million times better than the one in A Hard Day's Night.

Sidenote: Every time I hear "the sun's a ball of butter" I first cringe because I hate that line, and secondly think of this skit.

This was Barbra's first film role, by the way.  Not that she wasn't well-known at this point - her voice was already acknowledged as one of the greats before she even turned 30.  But she steals the camera in every freaking scene, especially this one when Fanny's clearly making the dumbest mistake ever.  You root for Fanny; you want her to succeed in both life and love because Barbra is so charming.  She won a Best Actress Oscar for this performance, and it's incredibly easy to see why.

To the surprise of everyone (even Fanny), Nick is ecstatic to see her - so ecstatic he only giggles when the porter calls him "Mr. Brice" instead of going on a several-day bender that ends with him crashing Fanny's Oscar acceptance speech.  Of course Fanny plays the "please pick me, I'll never tie you down" card, only to THIRTY SECONDS LATER suggest to Nick that usually when two people love each other, they get married.  Instead of jumping off of the boat and swimming toward the shore, Nick informs Fanny if he can win his huge payday, she'll get a husband.  After much distress on Fanny's part, Nick later returns to the room with a big wad of cash, and they immediately return home to play house for a while.

Fanny went from on the road living like a mouse to being blissfully happy with a husband, a mansion, servants and a baby.  But the other shoe finally starts to drop when Nicky's hot streak turns cold.  While he's losing the house on oil fields that produce no oil, Fanny is headlining in a show, putting Nicky's ego in check.  With a famous wife, his more-frequent losses are being broadcast around both his gambling community and society at large.  When Fanny realizes Nick is drowning after he skips her show's opening night for a poker game, she sets up a scheme where his buddy Tom would approach Nick with a legit job offer running a local casino.  After Tom informs Nick he wouldn't have to pony up start-up cash to make him a partner because his experience conning wealthy gentlemen was valuable enough, Nick smells the deception from a mile away and refuses the position because apparently it's incredibly embarrassing for your wife to network for you.

In an effort to get back on top, Nick decides to participate in an scammy bond scheme, gets caught, and pleads guilty to the crime so it doesn't look like he's stupid enough to agree to something without knowing how fucking illegal it is.  Fanny goes to court to see Nick before they ship him off to prison for a few years, and when he tries to end the relationship by telling Fanny he will never be able to support her, Fanny asks him to reconsider. If Nick feels the same way when he gets out, she won't fight him on the divorce.

The absolute paranoia of a world where women could make more money than their husbands is fucking ridiculous to me.  In both A Star is Born and Funny Girl, the moment the universe takes away the man's ability to monetarily provide for his family he suddenly feels as if he has nothing to contribute.  His masculinity and his ego get in the way of being truly proud of his wife.  The women are both willing to entirely give up their careers to take care of their deadbeat husbands (even asserting in public they should be referred to by their husband's last name), which is baffling on its own, but they've already made the irreversibly irredeemable crime of perusing success, even when their husbands initially encouraged it.  All I learn from these stories is that men want strong women, strong enough where he can brag about them, but not strong enough to overshadow them.  If that starts to happen, the wife needs to intuitively shrink in order to give their husband the chance to catch up.

One thing you can't fault Nicky for is hiding his true nature. He told Fanny exactly who he was when they first met.  He never had a set schedule because he wanted to feel free.  She was Woman and he was Man, and she should be smaller so he can be taller.  He might have cosplayed as a dependable dude for a few years, but ultimately he reverted back to his default.

Flash forward to the beginning of the movie, where we finally discover that Nick had been released from prison and Fanny would find out the state of their relationship before she went on stage.  She warns Ziegfeld that if Nick wants to give it another shot she's going to quit the show, because being a housewife will be the only thing to placate Nick's fragile masculinity.  Thankfully she doesn't need to keep that promise, because when the pair are finally reunited she can tell by his behavior that this dude is about to drop the hammer.  Fanny preemptively ends things, and then goes on stage to sing about her heartbreak.

The end of the movie differs from the musical in a pretty significant way as Fanny belts a lament for the end of her marriage.  Barbra insisted singing the vocals at the end of the song live, and had Omar Sharif recite the line "You are beautiful" to her before each take to make her more emotional. It worked - I cry every time I watch the end of this movie.

"My Man" was a song the real-life Fanny Brice popularized in the Ziegfeld Follies Broadway show, which is the only reason it appears here, ending this depressing story on a weak downbeat that legitimately shocked me when the credits rolled.  In the Funny Girl musical, Fanny goes through a variety of emotions that reprise the songs in the show - bitter and sad, but ultimately victorious with a powerful rendition of "Don't Rain on My Parade."  I can only attribute this change as the beginning of the 1970s bummer parade of weird musicals that make you want to slit your wrists on the way out.

And if this wasn't enough, several years later they filmed a sequel to this, Funny Lady, about Fanny Brice's relationship with her second husband Billy Rose, who was just as shitty of a partner as Nick Arnstein was. Their marriage also ends in divorce, so if you want to watch the same movie as Funny Girl but with a clunkier script just to get 10 minutes of Omar Sharif reprising his role as Nicky being as sleezebaggy as ever, don't bother. It's not worth it.

Funny Girl is a show that will forever be associated with Barbra, to the point where its protagonist Fanny is more of a fictionalized character than a real-life previously-breathing human being. This movie is fairly entertaining, although it clearly reflects the ideals of its time. If you like Barbra, it's a must-see. If not, avoid it at all costs, cause there's nothing else here other than her.

Except a hunky Omar Sharif being stupidly charming. There is also that.

Thanks for reading!  If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

[ghost-proofbaby]

Hailey!!! Bestie! Most glorious of writers of the fics!

First off! Wow congratulations! Look at what you have accomplished. How do you feel?

Shire is over and what an ending/epilogue/whatever. Oh my gourd. It was great. I am so excited to see what Mordor brings because just from that ending, it looks like you're taking it in a new direction and I *chefs kiss* CANNOT WAIT for this rollercoaster ride. (Even if it is not, I don't care. Because I know it's gonna be the drama.)

Some of my favorite things, which (since I was a late finding your fit itself) I have never mentioned before: - Dennys. Oh my god, the inclusion of Denny's. It isn't a local diner, it isn't Bennys, it is the cursed restaurant that most of us in the states love and rely on in the most beautiful or desperate of times. I love it. I love you. - Robin and Willow just being BFFLs. Because it felt so real. All of it. Like I could transpose myself and my irl best friend and yeah, it all checked out. And just...the further development of Robin's character as a best friend, because in the show we really sort of get crumbs too. I loved it. - Willow's familial relationships/trauma/guilt and then healing, specifically within herself but also in relation with her mom. I don't think I need to elaborate, but it gets my butt clenching in the most emotional way ok? (I am like a puppy who gets the wiggles) -And then of course the Eddie of it all. Not once did he feel out of character, he was perfect, I fell in love with his character even more while reading how you wrote him. I think we all have "our Eddie" who we are writing, but yours is so fleshed out and gorgeous. UGH.

Anyway, sorry for the long ask, I'm just so happy and excited. Congrats again boo! <3<3<3

jo!! bestie!! fellow glorious fic writer!! hello!!! <3

my emotions are definitely all over the place right now. i'm feeling a lil nervous, a lot of excitement, and, dare i say... a lil proud? like, hey, look at me. i did it!! i said i was gonna do it and i did it!!

it'll definitely be a rollercoaster ride for sure! i've got a lot of fun stuff planned, and i can't wait to see how this story gets to evolve similarly to how shire did!! right now i'm just hoping it lives up to everyone's expectations and my own <3 time will tell

those are definitely some of my favorite things too oh my gosh (if i was on my phone you'd be getting the simpy emoji i overuse). i started writing/brainstorming this fic in denny's, and once i realized that benny's was one letter off? c'moooon. i couldn't help myself. gotta pay homage to our roots some how (i will forever miss the crew who used to let me and audrey sit around until 2 am and allowed us to claim a booth as our own as we consumed more coffee than any human beings ever should. i hope they're doing well </3). and speaking of audrey, i based a lot of robin and willow's friendship on ours, so i'm giving her so much credit. for those of you who don't know who i'm referencing, i'm talking about my irl best friend. she listened to me rant about this fic like a maniac until i put pen to paper technically fingers to keyboard, and was my og reader for this story. she saw every version, every deleted chapter and every stupid idea i randomly had at 3 am. she's my own personal robin, and i love her so damn much. even more than i love our canon robin buckley, which is a fuck ton. she was the og comfort character before eddie. gotta put some respect on her name.

i love, love, love the fact that there is so many versions of eddie out there, and every time people tell me how i wrote him is in fact very in character, my heart swells three sizes bigger. i know i've fallen in love with that boy 200 times over with the incredibly talented writers on here, with versions of him as a mechanic, as a single dad, as a record store worker, as a swinger, as a rockstar - you get the point. the fact that y'all still find room to love 'my' eddie leaves me in awe and just. gosh. thank you. cheers to our eddies and the way we all love every version of this boy, in every universe! the story and background may shift, but the core boy who stole our hearts in season 4 remains, and i think there's something poetic to be said about that (not by me, but i know it's there.)

as always, don't ever apologize for long asks. i'm forever honored that you guys like my story enough to share your thoughts, with me and with each other. could make a grown man cry. or a 23 year old woman, in this case. i love you <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[autisticbee]

eene truly is fascinating to me because like I did not notice it as a kid but a large chunk of the kids (including our main trio) abused, neglected by their family in some way.

Ed's is the blatant and obvious. Even Double D remarks that's disturbing when Ed mentions his parents took away the stairs leading from his basement bedroom to the rest of the house as part of his grounding. I have a theory that Ed's love for living in filth in his room actually stems from him trying to cope with his parents' neglect. That it likely started off as not his choice, but due to his parents favoring sarah. And then by the time he was old enough to be able to keep things clean himself, he had grown to find comfort in the filth (like the bonds he forms with gone off foods & the like.)

Double D's is more subtle, I've seen some people think he has a good homelife but that's not the case. His parents seem to be almost never home, communicating to him mostly through sticky notes. Said sticky notes are controlling, strict to a ridiculous degree (the 'dont touch yourself' one in the bathroom... sometimes I wonder if his parents are religious because it reminds me so much of the cult I was raised into by my family), the fact that Double D seems to do /all/ of the household chores (you'd think they could at least give him twenty five cents in pocket money for it).

I've seen someone say that his parents take advantage of his OCD & I'm inclined to agree. It seems that he's never allowed to *be* a kid, which is part of why his friendship with Eddy and Ed is so important as they bring out the more childish and rebellious side of him (which is already there, it just needs to be coaxed a little)

Eddy was physically and mentally abused by his older brother at a very young age, and it played a huge part in forming his personality. in BPS after the realisation that Bro is a piece of shit, Eddy remarks to his friends that he made it all up about his brother so that people would like him and think he was cool

And while that's definitely true, I feel that Eddy was also lying to himself. I think he wanted to believe his own lies about how awesome his brother was, maybe a part of him questioned his own memories & hoped they were wrong. It's very clear that Eddy's brother influenced him to a extreme degree, causing him to internalize nasty shit

His femmephobia for example, despite having a secret feminine side himself (I definitely buy into the theory about the boomerang ep being more about a hidden part of the characters rather than the boomerang simply making them out of character) and internalized queerphobia. Although, I also think that was caused by his father as well. In the pitch bible it mentions how Eddy's father fears that Eddy will be...a figure skater. Given the phrasing & the time period, it's pretty obvious that this is a euphemism for gay. While this isn't touched on in the show itself, I believe it's likely that Eddy's father imposed toxic masculinity onto his son, and taught him (whether directly or indirectly) to be ashamed of and hide his 'feminine' traits and behaviours.

I think that's why Eddy is so... wishy washy about his pals getting physically close to him. That boy is /clingy/, mostly with Ed and Double D but also with boys in general (even Kevin) but he can play it off as part of his schmoozy scam artist persona. He's seemingly randomly discomforted by his two buddies getting close to him, even though most of the time none of them have any sense of personal space with each other. I think what it is, is sometimes he panics about being or seen as Gay, worries what his father (and brother, even though he's not there) would say and that causes him to put his walls up. It's very back and forth as Eddy is also sometimes blatantly flirtatious with boys. With Double D, obviously. But also the way he talks and acts around the other boys of the cul-de-sac to get them to fall for his scams is very reminiscent of how girls are sometime portrayed in media as flirting with boys to get what they want.

Something I thought was interesting, despite the fact that he's supposed to have a crush on Nazz like most of the other boys do, in the movie when Nazz kisses Eddy on the cheek he's not... flustered or overjoyed or anything like that. But literally right after that when Kevin talks positively for once to Eddy, Eddy /lights up/ with a big grin on his face. I don't ship it, but I get the feeling that Eddy has a bit of a crush on Kevin (he was very eager to flirt with him while in drag in the comics lol)

Uhh, I got off track there. Oops. But like assuming that Bro was being purposely mocking (which given his character, seems almost definite) when referring to Double D as Eddy's girlfriend, it's safe to assume that Eddy was raised in a fairly homophobic environment and that's led to a lot of repression, projection and being socially awkward (last goes for all three of the eds, bless their hearts they do not know how to socialise with the other kids. the pool party ep comes to mind. And the rich club ep as well. I think truthfully in the latter, Eddy just wanted to /play/.)

Idk about Eddy's mother, he seems like a little bit of a mama's boy so she might actually be *nice*. Or at least nicer than Eddy's father. The pitch bible mentions of her thinking of him an angel, so I like to think they have a decent relationship

The other kids...Rolf seems to do most of the farmwork. He mentions if he doesn't do his chores then his family will lock him in a cupboard under the stairs. I think Rolf, a little similar to Double D in a way, was forced to act like an adult from a very young age. He definitely tries to act like he is an adult around the other kids sometimes, and refers to his youth like an old man despite only being fifteen.

I don't think we really know anything about Jonny's family but I feel like it's safe to assume that, whether plank can actually 'talk' or not (given the shows sometimes fantastical moments), that it likely started out as a coping mechanism for something. Jonny can't cope with not being 'told' what to do by someone.

Nazz...another one where we don't really know anything about her family, but at the very least she feels a lot of pressure from the other kids. I think she purposely presents herself as sorta generic to be likeable to everyone. We see a few moments throughout the show where her mask slips.

I'm getting too tired to write anymore now lol, I have a lot of thoughts and emotions about these kids.

.