#and this is one of them: that there is actually a mutual respect and regard between them

[stanestreet]

Tut mir Leid, Captain.

[tinyfantasminha]

Thoughts on Jack's dream(MASSIVE main story spoilers ahead)

JACKS DREAM got me by the thROAT bc the more I analyze it the more angsty it feels and I alreadfy sobbed n cried and I must SCREAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM He's dreaming of the magift tournament but basically if..... if Leona's plan never took place....... If Leona actually WERE the hero Jack has idolized...... 😭

First I gotta take note dosodkgkfdgjdfkghfdjk hOW JACK YEARNS FOR HIS SENPAI'S PRAISE AND AFFECTION 🥺🥺truly the epitome of loyal, puppy-like behavior..... It doesn't take much for him to be happy… He yearns for the respect and acknowledgement of those he admires. He craves respect and recognition, but not only that—he genuinely wants to see those he admires thrive.

Seems to me that what Jack longs for most is a sense of belonging within a pack. He’s not just devoted to those he holds in high regard; he also desires to be cared for in return (This becomes even more apparent when he asks Ruggie to act as a mentor or older-brother figure in his dorm uniform vignette.) Jack's actions reflect his innate wolf nature—a being built for connection, loyalty, and mutual protection. No matter how much he tells himself or others how he prefers to handle things on his own… We can clearly see that Jack is happier when he’s part of a team, fighting alongside companions who’ve got his back. It’s the dynamic balance of trust: to protect and be protected, to rely on others and let them rely on him in return. It deeply resonates with the essence of wolves.

We often hear the phrase “lone wolf,” an expression of grudging admiration. A lone wolf is often viewed as a rugged individualist, uncompromising and independent, driven to forge his own path, unfettered by the sentimental need for companionship. In reality, few people would ever want to live this way—and, as it turns out, few wolves would either. Wolves, males and females alike, may go through periods alone, but they’re not interested in lives of solitude. A lone wolf is a wolf that is searching, and what it seeks is another wolf. Everything in a wolf’s nature tells it to belong to something greater than itself: a pack. Like us, wolves form friendships and maintain lifelong bonds. They succeed by cooperating, and they struggle when they’re alone. Like us, wolves need one another. (source)

Which is why the factual reality cuts so deeply.

After Ortho wakes Jack up (in oUTER SPACE DKJGDSDKFJGKJS that was so adventitious but so cool.....) and Jack falls down like a meteorite (ALSO SUPER COOL BUT WTF.....) Fake!Leona and Fake!Ruggie rush to his side, Leona softly reassures him, saying it’s a relief he’s uninjured and advising him not to be so reckless while Ruggie says ''You're a promising rookie. Our treasure.'' (I started crying here.)

Jack breaks into a bitter, despairing laugh as the truth crashes down on him. The sincerity and warmth his “upperclassmen” showed in that moment? It wasn’t real. It never actually happened. Jack recounts his excitement when he first joined Savanaclaw, eager to fight alongside the dormmates he admired so much. He talks about how he had watched Leona’s play three years ago—over and over again, captivated by it. He reveals the painful truth of discovering their wicked plan, the frustration of being unable to snap them out of it, and the overwhelming helplessness that consumed him.

I gotta say, I'm SO HAPPY that Jack's feelings on the events of book 2 were finally properly addressed now (cause let's be real, book 2 uhh... did kinda a shitty job at this 💀 Neither the narrative nor the fandom really took the time to explore the emotional impact it had on him, which is such a disservice to his character.)

Think about it from Jack’s perspective. He was obsessed with Leona's play 3 years ago, watching it over and over again. In his eyes, Leona was a hero, someone worth idolizing to the point of projecting an idealized image of him: an earnest, hardworking, honorable leader. When Jack finally had the chance to join Savanaclaw and be part of the dorm he had admired so deeply, what was his reality? Ostracization, bullying and even physical violence from some of his dorm mates (as shown in Leona's dorm uniform vignette) And worst of all? Jack was met with his idol’s true, treacherous side—dirty tactics, underhanded schemes, and a willingness to harm others to achieve his goals. When Jack tried to confront them about it, he wasn’t met with understanding or respect. Instead, he was called a “filthy traitor” and a “spoiled brat”—by the very person he admired most. It’s a complete dismantling of everything Jack believed in, everything he worked for.

It's a shame the game and manga did not give enough weight to Jack’s feelings, (the novel seems to do a better job at it though) but now it’s clear just how much this hurt him. It wasn’t just a setback; it was a deep, personal betrayal that shook him to his core.

He’s only a first-year. Beneath his gruff demeanor and physical strength, Jack is still a boy—pure-hearted, earnest, and full of hope. All he wanted was to stand beside those he respected most but what he got instead was disappointment, betrayal, and rejection. To idolize someone so deeply, only to have that image crushed in the most personal, gut-wrenching way........ Savanaclaw doesn't deserve him 💔

.

,,,,okay forgive me to break the essay to talk about this but I'm going insane over the fact fake Ruggie ominously coos, ''Hey puppy-chan you're a good boy so come here.....'' UGHGHHHDSHNGDSHNDGSHHHnnnnhhHHHH HE IS BASICALLY SAVANACLAW'S UNOFFICIAL MASCOT,,,,,,, their loyal little puppy 🥺🥺🥺😭😭

fake ruggie and fake leona try to lure him in to sleep again, but Jack says he has no intention of fighting alongside fakes and defeats them 😌

And we get this utterly precious moment where Jack praises Yuu and Grim for having guts and persevering through everything and he PETS GRIM'S HEAD............ HE DIDN'T NEED TO COMFORT THEM BUT AWWAAHBBBAYYAWYWYHAWWABYWAWAYAA

I can't wait to see what role he'll play in Leona's dream 😌 Jack’s arc feels like it’s finally getting the weight it deserves… 🙏🙏🙏

[criticalcrusherbot]

Messy but Meaningful: Challenging Pop Psychology’s Unrealistic Expectations of Relationships in Fandom Spaces

By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️

The growing tendency in fandom spaces to apply pop-psychology frameworks to fictional relationships—such as Blitz and Stolas’s relationship in Helluva Boss—often oversimplifies the complexities of real-life human dynamics. While using psychological language to analyze media can deepen understanding, it can also lead to reductive and rigid interpretations of relationships. For the sake of argument, if Blitz and Stolas were real people, the expectation that both must be fully healed, emotionally stable, and entirely self-assured before engaging in a relationship reflects an unrealistic and idealized view of mental health and interpersonal growth.

The Myth of Complete Healing

One of the most common misconceptions in pop psychology is the belief that individuals must achieve complete emotional healing before they can engage in healthy relationships. This idea, while well-meaning, is rooted in an overly simplistic view of personal development. From a psychological perspective, healing and self-improvement are ongoing processes. Life circumstances, relationships, and personal challenges continually shape and reshape our mental and emotional landscapes.

Attachment theory, for example, suggests that relationships can be powerful arenas for healing. According to John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment dynamics are formed in early childhood but can be reshaped in adulthood through secure and supportive relationships. Blitz’s and Stolas’s relationship, though imperfect, demonstrates how mutual care and connection can provide opportunities for growth. Stolas’s willingness to be emotionally vulnerable and Blitz’s gradual acceptance of his feelings suggest that their bond is helping each of them confront their emotional barriers, even if they’re not “finished” healing.

Relationships as Sites of Growth

Instead of requiring complete emotional stability as a prerequisite for relationships, many psychological frameworks view relationships as places where healing and growth can occur. In Helluva Boss, Blitz and Stolas’s dynamic reflects this principle. Their relationship, while messy and fraught with misunderstandings, provides opportunities for them to confront their vulnerabilities and develop healthier patterns of intimacy.

This idea aligns with Carl Rogers’s humanistic approach to psychology, which emphasizes the importance of relationships in fostering self-actualization. Rogers argued that empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard are key ingredients for personal growth—and these qualities often emerge in relationships. While Blitz and Stolas struggle with these elements at times, their efforts to connect and communicate demonstrate a willingness to grow together.

The Role of Imperfection in Relationships

Pop-psychology discourse often pathologizes imperfection, labeling any relationship that involves conflict, miscommunication, or emotional baggage as “toxic.” However, conflict is not inherently harmful; it’s how individuals navigate and resolve conflict that determines the health of a relationship. Psychologist John Gottman’s research on marital stability highlights that even successful relationships involve conflict. The difference lies in whether partners approach disagreements with respect, empathy, and a willingness to repair after mistakes.

In the context of Blitz and Stolas, their struggles with power dynamics, vulnerability, and communication do not automatically render their relationship toxic. Rather, their willingness to acknowledge and address these issues—such as Stolas’s attempts to give Blitz more autonomy with the Asmodean crystal or Blitz’s growing emotional openness—suggests a dynamic that is evolving toward greater mutual understanding.

Realistic Expectations for Healing and Change

The expectation that adults must be fully healed and self-assured before entering relationships also neglects the reality that personal growth often occurs within relationships. Social learning theory emphasizes how individuals learn and adapt through observation and interaction. Relationships serve as a mirror, reflecting areas for growth and offering opportunities to practice new behaviors. For Blitz, his interactions with Stolas force him to confront his fear of vulnerability and his tendency to self-sabotage. For Stolas, being with Blitz challenges his understanding of intimacy and forces him to step beyond his royal privilege to engage in genuine emotional connection.

It’s also worth noting that personal growth is non-linear. Progress often involves setbacks, missteps, and moments of doubt. Relationships do not have to be perfect to be worthwhile or beneficial. The process of working through challenges together can strengthen bonds and foster deeper connection.

Rejecting Pop-Psychology Absolutism

The pop-psychologization of fandom spaces often reduces complex dynamics to overly rigid binaries: healthy/unhealthy, secure/insecure, toxic/healing. While these frameworks can offer insights, they risk ignoring the nuance of real-life relationships. Humans are messy, imperfect, and constantly evolving—and so are their relationships. Holding fictional characters (or real people) to unrealistic standards of emotional perfection perpetuates an unhelpful narrative that growth must be completed in isolation, rather than as a collaborative process.

Blitz and Stolas exemplify the idea that relationships can be messy but meaningful. They are imperfect individuals navigating their own traumas and insecurities, yet they are also actively working toward better understanding themselves and each other. This dynamic reflects a more realistic and compassionate view of relationships, one that acknowledges growth as a shared journey rather than a prerequisite for connection.

Conclusion

Expecting individuals to achieve complete healing before engaging in relationships is both unrealistic and at odds with what we know about human development. Relationships, particularly those marked by care and effort, can serve as powerful spaces for growth, healing, and transformation. Blitz and Stolas’s evolving bond in Helluva Boss illustrates this beautifully, showing that imperfection does not preclude progress. By challenging the rigid expectations of pop psychology, we can embrace a more nuanced understanding of relationships—both fictional and real—that values growth, vulnerability, and the shared journey of becoming better together.

[angelkiyo]

haikyuu characters as romance tropes + songs in my playlist ❀

a/n - this was a thought i needed to get out..! i love music n i love haikyuu soooo. i also did a series similar to this but w actual one shots but tbh compiling them is smarter ngl. totally fw the spotify linked in my nav btw :0 — unedited drabble/thought piece

——“ they just can't reach her, princesita inalcanzable / le rompieron el cora, pero nunca se la perdió" (igual que un angel, 2023) - after years being your friend, getting friend-zoned for so long and finally getting a chance to date you, they're whipped and put you on a pedestal. they know all that you've gone through regarding relationships and would want nothing but your happiness. they're the immense green flag you need and would treat you with nothing but respect, sending you notes in class, and making you little bento boxes filled with their cooking, sending small poems that remind them of you but then again, you deserve it. you're as sweet as sugar and in their eyes, you're an angel on earth. they don't know when their feelings for you started, but when they finally confessed to you, it was the happiest they've felt. you've been their “other half” for so long that all your mutual friends have been telling you to get together, so imagine your friends' reaction when they see you and them on a date one random day, hand in hand and with your head on their shoulder as the two of you sat waiting for the bus back to your place.

best friends to lovers : kageyama tobio, BOKUTO KOTARO, ojiro aran, IWAIZUMI HAJIME, SHIMIZU KIYOKO

——"only like myself when im with you / nobody gets me like you” (nobody gets me, 2022) - both of you strive for excellence, only really wanting to achieve the best academically and on the court during gym class. it's obvious how strong your rivalry with him is, that even your friends jokingly tell you "just kiss already" when you already do. the two of you would be taking little secret rendezvous when you're supposed to be studying to be at the top of your class and staying up after his volleyball practice when everyone leaves. it felt thrilling as no one knew about your relationship (after constantly bragging that you didn't need a significant other). but once your grades began to slip, you couldn't risk losing the source of validation you've gotten to know for so long. you still had your ego and your pride to maintain, and he understood. he understood more than anyone which is why you felt yourself so emotionally attached to him. leading the both of you to enter an almost endless cycle of attempting a secret relationship while also trying to achieve validation from academic success.

rivals to lovers (and rivals again) : shirabu kenjiro, KITA SHINSUKE, tsukishima kei, sakusa kiyoomi, KUROO TETSURO

——"i burn for you / and you don't even know my name" (close to you, 2024) - after accidentally adding them on social media from quick add (due to mutuals from school), you find yourself in a predicament. you're from the same school and know of them, but know that you have never talked to them. you've never even interacted with them at all in real life. though, for the past few weeks, they're earned themselves the title of a talking stage, staying up until 3 in the morning sometimes, just to talk to you. you two would play valorant or whatever video game you’ve been wanting to play and last hours on video call, sharing playlists and being mutuals on everything. although, talking for so long caused him to be a little bold, flirting with you a bit. you're in different classes yet every time you have a break in class, you talk to them, sending snaps of what you do and so does he. so when you finally have your first date in person, you panic and in all honesty, he does too. what if you two don't get along? what if you thought he was weird? your first thought was that he's very handsome, that's for sure. though, it felt that all you really needed was to just talk as you've gotten past the digital barrier and had natural chemistry in real life.

online love : kozume kenma, SUNA RINTARO, miya atsumu, TENDO SATORI, terushima yuji

——"no one's ever good enough / i want a love like i've seen in the movies" (like the movies, 2021) - you met them at a barnes and noble during a regular day after school. you’ve always been a hopeless romantic, longing for love between the pages of a romantic comedy book or film. so when you bumped into them, books in hand, it felt like a spark between you two. the two of you ended up exchanging numbers to talk more, then meeting up and talking / hanging out in person (a date in your opinion). being in a relationship with someone else who also understood the want to fall in love “romantically” felt amazing. every time your school would have a game, you’d go and cheer them on from the sidelines, wearing his spare jersey. good morning texts, gift baskets for monthaversaries, huge love letters, and frequent dates felt too good to be true, and it was. you can always expect them to have heart eyes and only for you, as well as listening to your rants and theories surrounding different romance novels and films. especially your thoughts on the concept of the meet cute.

meet cute : AKAASHI KEIJI, yamaguchi tadashi, sugawara koshi, OIKAWA TORŪ, miya osamu, SEMI EITA

[thelionandtheeagle]

Re: Knight Terrors - Robin #2

There is so much here I could talk about, it's hard to even pick/ decide where to start. I guess I'll just say this up front: I really didn't like the first issue, and while I still have some minor gripes with this second one, it was overarchingly damn good and I'm ridiculously excited that Tim and Jason were finally allowed again to have an interaction that makes sense for them, given their past history. It's been 84 years I swear.

Now without further ado:

1)

The way they see themselves and each other.

This excerpt goes perfectly with a different post I was working on, talking about what happened at Titans Tower.

(Jason narrating, referring to Tim; Teen Titans 2003 #29)

Tim chronically suffers from imposter syndrome. He's constantly doubting himself. But Jason has always believed, known, that Tim is good at what he does. And over time his conviction in regards to it has only grown stronger. Jason's high opinion of Tim's capabilities is actually part of the reason he was so hurt about being "replaced" by Tim, specifically.

(Jason talking to Tim during Robin War; Red Hood/Arsenal 2015 #7)

Jason has always seen Tim as better than himself. All the while Tim has struggled to feel capable of living up to Jason's legacy. But Tim still took up the mantle because he cared and he had to try. And Jason recognizes that.

(Tim talking at a portrait of Jason, Secret Origins 2014 #3)

(Red Hood/Arsenal 2015 #37)

(Red Hood and the Outlaws 2011 #8)

In summary for this section: Tim and Jason tend to think lowly of themselves, but highly of each other. There's mutual respect and understanding. That's at the very core of their relationship and Knight Terrors showcases that beautifully.

2)

Another great thing about their dynamic that gets shown off in this issue is that they make a damn good team and enjoy working together.

throughout the issue

(Tim narrating, Teen Titans 2011 #16)

(We are Robin 2015 #7)

3)

Last but not least, we get some delightfully, painfully, tender moments.

Jason wishes for someone to count on. And Tim is right there for him. Which gets heavily doubled down on at the end of the issue:

Tim is always ready to work with Jason, to lend a hand, to be there for him-

- and Jason trusts Tim with his life.

Which, speaking of life...

After waking up, Jason tries to get in contact with Tim and when he can't, we see how devastate he is, thinking something went wrong. Ouch.

In conclusion: I was worried going in, with DC's track record lately, but I can happily say I was beyond pleasantly surprised. This feels like a return to form, and I pray we'll get more content featuring these two in the near future. If you haven't checked it out yourself yet, I highly recommend reading this issue.

Thanks for listening <3 I know this was a lot hah

[prettyb0ycvnt]

hi freaks of tumblr . here's my introduction post teeheehee <3

my name is aiden ! i am an eighteen year old queer trans man - pre-op and pre-t unfortunately ... but whatever im still hot. giggles and twirls hair.

more about me :3

☆ freakiest virgin you've ever met. i'd like that to CHANGE but uhhghhh the most i can get is freaks on tumblr (hit me up lalalala)

☆ real life prince charming pupboy :3 !!!

☆ literally not an ounce of dominance inside me at ALL i'm very submissive!!!! to an insane extent!!!

☆ bottom.

☆ perpetually in heat actually. need that to be rectified

☆ bst timezone. british twink moving like Oh Good Heavens... Oh My... Good Grief...

☆ my asks are open all the time to anyone! dms are open for mutuals only (i'm totally open to conversation & sharing things with moots as long as ur respectful!!). i prefer getting asks; i'm bad with managing messages. also feel free to dm or ask me stuff if you just wanna be friends!!! blank blogs do not message me it weirds me out x

☆ i'm a writer! my posts may tend to get real descriptive if i'm not hornied-out beyond all comprehensive thought!!

☆ i am transgender and a lot of the stuff i post will focus on this :3 !!! my posts will reference fem biology but i'm not a girl don't call me one or i'll rip my hair out and die.

☆ im a queer man !! still fully figuring out where my attraction lies but i do know i have a very heavy male pref. please don't repost my stuff if you're a cishet blogger or a 'men dni' blog im literally a. man and i love men and i talk about loving men and im the antithesis of everything u stand for . all queer freaks (including. wlw!!!) can do whatever they want with my posts :3

☆ some of my non-freakish interests include acting, literature, writing, baking, reading and certain fandoms that i don't want to explicitly reference in case this post appears to them uhm feel free to ask me about them!!!

claimed anons: 😵💫 ; 👾 ; 🪰; 🍁 ; ⚒ ; 🍓 ; 🐈‍⬛ ; 🎈

dni: minors, MAPs, bigots of any kind, trans fetishisers, ed & sh blogs, ageless blogs, weirdo freaks of the bad kind!!

tags

#☆ aiden's corner -> silly thoughts of mine!! sometimes they r Slightly lesser hornyposting... sometimes they're just funny things ithink of. sometimes its just me talking about whateva welcum to aiden's corner !!

#☆ aiden's freakish thoughts -> hornyposting to the maxxxx.... under this tag im a FREAAKKK

#☆ aiden's pics -> me lawl. usually just tummy :3

#☆ aiden's audio -> aiden whines like a bitch

#☆ reblogs -> stuff i find relatable or stuff i find super duper hot . perhaps both at the same time!!

#☆ anon -> answering anonymous asks!

#☆ asks -> when used alone, answering non-anon asks! also used in conjunction with #☆ anon :3

me if u even care

okay thats all i can think of rn ummm anyway. stuff i'm into & limits under the cut :3

i looove >_< !!!

praise, degradation, breeding, petplay, major voice kink!, exhibitionism, voyeurism, humiliation, objectification, free-use, cockwarming, royalty, dumbification, somnophilia, forcemasc and ummm probably more you should totes talk to me so we can find out!

limits >:[ !!!

detrans/misgendering, forced feminisation, scat, bestiality, watersports, blood, basically any bodily fluids that aren't cum or spit, intox related to alcohol specifically, anything to do with feet, feederism, weight gain/weight loss, incest/fauxcest, ageplay, rape, daddy/mommy, pregnancy, basically everything else that's super fucking weird and unethical. -> if you're into these things that's totally fine!! i'd just prefer they're not brought up in regards to myself ^_^

bodily terms for myself :3

not on t nor have i had surgery so i still very much have female parts and im fine with them being referred to as such!!! acceptable terms include cunt, pussy/boypussy, slit, hole, clit, chest, tits, (t-)cock& (t-)dick !! all i ask is that the term vagina is not used.

things i like being called >_<

please refer to me with masculine or neutral terms, nothing feminine. degrading terms like whore, bitch, slut and any other varieties (cumslut, etc.) are 100% okay! in fact please call me them!! praising terms like good boy are wooonderful. call me puppy/pup and ill explode and die (in a good way!!!) tbh literally call me anything as long as its not feminine and i'll love it. lalalalaa

[weebsinstash]

Thinking bout how mean demi Alastor would be regarding the post cheating/meltdown/breakup sex… he’s still a sadist and now that he’s more comfortable with physical intimacy and like 20% more deranged that def gets reflected in his “catering to your needs”. Overstim, edging, anything that leaves you at his ��mercy”

Reader, visibly sweating because YOU know that HE knows most of the dirty dirty nasty NASTY SHENANIGANS you've committed in the last month or two of Just Straight Up Sluttery: so Alastor, now that you've discovered this new part of yourself, surely you've, uh, developed some new tastes and healthy outlets for intimacy?

Alastor, who's just spent the last several weeks rounding up all your sexual partners and he does mean ALL of them to torture every last detail of what you did out of them, and has recently discovered how much he likes the feeling of a riding crop in his hands, along with a list of kinks where cheating/cuckoldry is definitely NOT one of them: oh yes :) healthy outlets :) so anyways my pet, about your punishment--

You're just like "ok Alastor um, since you're new to this and old fashioned you probably want to, cuddle, and, ease into it, and--" bitch he wants to tie you up. Bitch he has developed SUCH a craving for watching you tied up and helpless because, oh you're so sweet and vulnerable and need him to protect you ❤️ his sweet vulnerable little doe ❤️ aw, your struggling is so cute ❤️ do you want to be let go? Guess you better beg nice and pretty~

I dunno man... I was LITERALLY discussing a concept like this with an asexual buddy of mine actually, the amount of aces horny for Alastor is giving, truly, and we were MUTUALLY like, "listen... listen... asexuality is real and we respect that, ok... but it's also a spectrum... and I want this man going his entire life and afterlife not caring or having a taste for those things UNTIL he meets you and he has to deal with, discover, and come to understand all his new desires" and I keep thinking of multiple ways to swing that?

Just him having his equivalent of his first schoolboy crush and not knowing why he can't stop himself from laughing at your jokes? Why is he suddenly so... POSSESSIVE of your company? Why does he want to hurt the men who come around you even more than usual? He goes to Rosie for advice and she's just, DROPPING HER TEA CUP, "oh ALASTOR HONEY, you've got yourself a little crush!!" and all but squealing with delight as she wants ALL the details and, well, Rosie IS a trusted friend... and once he starts talking about you, he can't stop himself for some reason, he just enjoys sharing little details and stories and things about you amd, oh gosh Rosie you should hear this thing that happened the other day it was just the most charming little--

I want this man coming to take you back and he's kicking some door down and he finds you THROATING A GUY. I want it AWKWARD. I want him finding you doing something that immediately makes everyone involved go OH SHIT. I want some dude freaking out hollering "THE RADIO DEMON?!" because he and a buddy were spitroasting you on your hands and knees and you give a very recognizable "alastor????" around the dude's meat CLEARLY KNOWING THE GUY and your unlucky one night stand has his Oh Fuck moment as he makes perfect eye contact with the notorious cannibal who is currently witnessing this, uh, gentleman having his hand fisted in your hair as he--

Just the mental image of, it's the end of the night or even the morning and the fucking sun is coming up or, their time equivalent of sunrise since I don't think they have like days and nights, but, Alastor is just sitting there reading a book humming to himself, completely put together not a hair out of place, with candles going, a gentle song on the radio, and beside him you're just facedown completely naked in bed with welts all over your ass as his shadow gives you a nice aftercare massage. Dude just sips some coffee, humming and smirking as he regards you "now did we learn our lesson about... making impulsive unsafe decisions without consulting our partner?"

you, still face down as your legs still refuse to stop shaking: that if I want to get fucked really hard all I have to do is commit adultery?

Alastor, who has recently discovered all the Super Fun New Ways he can fuck 'discipline' you for riling him up and getting him jealous on purpose because now that he's finally acting like this it's all but making you a cat in heat 'being a brat', smiling with legitimate sadistic glee as he reaches for a pair of leather gloves: incorrect :)

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

This is an analysis of Kaveh and Alhaitham’s argument posted on the Port Ormos bulletin board!! Because it is crazy actually!!

I think this exchange of theirs out of the three posted throughout Sumeru is particularly interesting, and this is due Alhaitham openly expressing that Kaveh does not understand what Alhaitham is really trying to say to him: “I have never denied what you meant, but you don’t understand what I am saying to you at all.”

This exchange is relevant in various ways in exploring the motif of communication. As according to their usual rapport, the two disagree over their differing philosophies, as in sensibility versus rationality, however, Alhaitham’s particular concerns in Kaveh spending his money on “nonsense” highlights the underlying reason for this exchange. From this comment, the argument is recontextualised through Alhaitham’s intention for getting involved, as Kaveh prompts the workmen to take his money in order to help them out.

When Alhaitham states that this is a meaningless action due to the inevitability of people rising or falling on their own accord, rather than solely critiquing Kaveh’s “impulsiv[e]” altruism, as Kaveh interprets, Alhaitham is directly contradicting his own comment – as he is interfering on Kaveh’s decisions.

As concern is evidently the intention behind his interference, Kaveh cannot perceive this, and instead attempts to critique Alhaitham’s perspective in return, although Alhaitham states: “Make no mistake. I have never denied what you meant…” This response asserts that Alhaitham does not deny, but rather agrees with, Kaveh’s statement of “mutual assistance, fairness, and righteous anger” driving the world.

In lieu of this, rather than continuing the argument, Alhaitham claims that there is no point to it, as Kaveh does not understand what he is saying, as in, Kaveh does not understand that his intentions in interfering are out of concern. He follows this up, regardless, by criticising Kaveh’s handling of his budget, as, evidently, Kaveh has offered to give his own money to these workmen, and refuses to pay for Kaveh’s drinks for that month.

For Alhaitham, Kaveh’s lack of self-prioritisation leads him to impulsive altruistic acts which serve to jeopardise his own position, particularly regarding money. If Kaveh can afford to give away money, he can afford to pay his own tabs, is the takeaway from this exchange. Although, similarly to the exchange between them posted in Puspa’s Café, this applies to one particular month, insinuating that Alhaitham will continue to pay for next month’s tabs of his own accord.

The main argument, as well as the disagreement over the speaker of Kaveh’s quote, serves as a humorous exchange, but as a motif for communication it acquires a new meaning. The two hold perspectives which contrast the other which puts them on unequal footing, demonstrated within the argument over the speaker of Kaveh’s quote. Although it is not disclosed who is actually in the right, both are convinced of their respective viewpoint. There is an element missing here, a potential solution to this problem, and it lies within the idea of “correctness” established within A Parade of Providence.

The omission of there being an objective, correct answer to this particular debate serves as a parallel to their conflicting viewpoints, with the basis of their exchange being to “prove” to the other their “correctness” – here, it is in regard to Kaveh.

However, “correctness” being the basis of their exchange, and thus, relationship, is challenged with Alhaitham shutting down the initial debate due to Kaveh’s misunderstanding of his meaning. Correctness, then, and its importance, is called into question within this exchange, with Kaveh being the one to chase it; his last message being that he would “prove” himself to be right.

At the core of this bulletin board exchange is the idea that Alhaitham harbours an alternative ‘meaning’ than the one that Kaveh assigns to him: “… you don’t understand what I’m saying to you at all.” This is a meaning which Kaveh cannot perceive due to his current understanding of Alhaitham. This represents the standing of their current relationship, where Kaveh believes Alhaitham holds him in disdain, although this belief is incongruous with Alhaitham’s actions which show his care for Kaveh.

In these instances of communication through the Bulletin Boards, it is interesting to note that Kaveh is revealed to have been drunk and “scribbling” on these notice boards, and hopes that Alhaitham does not know.

Although this is a humorous detail, it adds another layer to the unreliability of their method of communication, as Kaveh has no recollection of these exchanges with Alhaitham, and therefore could not have properly interpreted Alhaitham due to an altered state of mind. It is uncertain whether Alhaitham is aware of Kaveh’s being drunk whilst responding to him, or whether he is believed to have been lucid, which creates another element of unreliability in their exchanges.

Alhaitham understands Kaveh’s thinking and the reasons for why he acts as he does, but he cannot articulate his concern in a way that Kaveh will understand, both out of Kaveh’s incapability of receiving goodwill, but also due to his logical manner of expression. Kaveh perceives Alhaitham’s concealed expressions of concern as personal gripes and criticisms of his beliefs, and therefore believes that their relationship is based on the scholarly principle of proving the validity of one’s philosophies.

The Port Ormos Bulletin Board reinforces the core essence of their relationship: Alhaitham is invested in a personal regard, whereas Kaveh cannot see this due to his perception of Alhaitham and Alhaitham’s inability to communicate in a way Kaveh would understand.

(Update: For more analyses like this, the essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)

[o0-snowdrop-0o]

I feel like we don't talk enough about the wonderful interview session that Sam Hazeldine and Morfydd Clark did together to promote season 2.

dorks 🤎

Their interactions, the mutual respect, their insane chemistry and all those thoughtful answers they gave deserve a praise! They were patient and supportive to each other all along, not to mention Sam being a real charmer, lol

( khm.. THE WAY HE LOOKS OVER AT HER WHEN HE SAYS THE "ALATÁRIEL" LINE, THE TENDER VOICE, he knows what he's doing lol )

Morfydd's little dog was there ( " the light of my life" as she said ) with her to support, Sam understood the importance of the situation, of course, he was so cute about it...she shared a little story about Matty being on set with her

Sam loving the transformation of him becoming Adar, but still hopes people can tell the difference between his normal appearance and him wearing all the make up, the prosthetic parts and the costume as the character lol ( Both the lady - who made that interview - and Morfydd comfirmed he's handsome, even as Adar of course :P )

Morfydd " I wish I was kind of more similar to Galadriel than I actually am " Sam: " If that makes you feel any better, I make no distinction between you and Galadriel " omg

There were several interviews...both of them gave meaningful, thoughtful answers regards of their characters, their journey, the relationship between the two and so on, it was quite enjoyable to listen their interpretations...there are quite many when it comes to their golden moments 🤎

" And Adar understands her in a way that her elves don't, because he's been deceived by Sauron. So, they're bound by this awful they're bound by their lowest point, which is always tough " Morfydd

And of course...Sam's favourite line and the cheeky way he delivered it 🤒

she knew what was coming lol

i would have fainted

" A star shines on the hour of our meeting, Lady Galadriel " in elvish, just to make everyone blush for sure

deep conversation lol

being adorable 🧡

honestly I dont blame her lol

Nor him :)

telling him it was nice to have him as a new cast member, after he tricked her to do so lol

Anyway I do hope we will have the opportunity to see these two amazing actors on screen together again in an other project, since it ended in a tragic, sudden way to one of the characters....🫤💔

[borzoilover69]

I have this vivid post-game earth c vision of jake roxy dave and ecto-clone meenah going on clubbing hijinks. Because theyre the only people in the friendgroup interested in doing that extrovert shit and 1/2 of the party gets invited by jake.

Meenah gets into a fight w/ jake bcus he thinks shes actually meenah, but in the end they laugh off the misunderstanding and joke insult each other and exchange socials. She also controls what music they listen to as they drive, and has a rotating door of dancestors who chill w/ them. Wears a lot of black.

Roxy is a bit flakey but she makes the cut cus shes generally chill and gets along w/ people. Shes the one buying bottles of soju from bws and texting in the backseat with her painted nails while keeping up w/ the others banter. Shes chill w/ going w/ the flow. She also manages to find more obscure clubs thru her feed or other mad hacker skillz (lulz). Wears a lot of colourful stuff

Dave got invited by Jake once as a “fuck it why not (and a massive fuck you to dirk)” and ended up vibing w/ meenahs music tastes (they have similiar tastes so shes chill w/ him) so they kept inviting him back. Generally doesnt have anything going on for him post-game so is always down for it, plus is totally trying to hit on jake to some regards. This is mutually beneficial, as jake is full aware of this fact. They are both jackasses full aware of the taboo crossover waiting to happen. Gets along REALLY well with jake after a few drinks. Jake and him generally dont talk in normal circumstances but you bet the minute jake asks if daves free hes getting off the fucking couch to text a reply much to the chagrine of his roommate vantas. Dave is the most basic its either a hoodie and shorts or a tshirt with cargos. Solid colour, little to no decor.

Jake is the passenger princess (part two) drinking before they get to the party and laughing or engaging with a bitching session with meenah. They have a sort of thing going for them in the way that meenah will drag jake into a bathroom and give him a peptalk or grill him for being too hard on himself. Respects her for her shit. BPD solidarity because in return for all the times shes grilled him in a bathroom about how strong he is for putting up with bullshit he receives from other people he in return makes sure to check on her when she isnt doing too hot and takes her out to lunch or something. Also they both bitch about their crazy exes, jake bitches about dirk and meenah bitches about ecto-clone aranea (they met in a psychward). Jake and meenah have an on-going “ill end my toxic relationship if you end yours.”

Roxy and Dave are both well aware this shit is taboo af but also they genuinely do not have that much going for them so its like a nod of respect to the fact theyre the two other gods who enjoy clubbing. Just not being the ones who plan and arrange it. They do like being invited tho.

Dave and Meenah both vape, Jake and Roxy dont. Meenah and Dave occasionally beef but he always ends up back in the crew cus hes usually the loser stuck parking and hes the only one trusted with the music other than Meenah. Meenah is VERY particular about the vibe. No sad songs. No indie. No chill beats. Gotta be high energy. I think she would listen to something like heartbeat by childish gambino or lemonade (feat.nav).

I have more thoughts about it ill prolly elaborate if anyone interested. I have such thoughts abt their fashion and habits. Enough about introverts lets get some extrovert rep.

[hannigramislife]

Saw your thoughts on dazai ships and wanted to hear about your take on akutagawa ships.

Entrapta voice: You're asking me about my theories?? I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories!

Hello friend! Thanks for the ask! I love talking about Akutagawa, he is my heart and soul, so this will be fun! I will take the chance to also thank you about your interaction with my posts, it makes my day ^^

Now, let's get into it!

Shin Soukoku (Akutagawa/Atsushi) - This is everything to me. Absolutely everything. They're in love. They're soulmates. They were created by the same ring of laughter. An angel lost its wings and they both fell in Yokohama, waiting to be reunited. Sskk is the definition of "whatever souls are made of, his and mine were the same." I cannot accurately describe how happy they make me. I can't even give a coherent and objective reasoning as to why they're the best ship ever, they just are. "Just the two of us? / Do we need any more?" WHY ARE YOU RECITING YOUR WEDDING VOWS NOW, GOD–! Anyways. 1 billion/10.

Chuuaku (Chuuya/Akutagawa) - Similarly to my other post, I don't get people who have a problem with this ship. It's cute, it's beautiful, it makes me happy. I talked to my friend about this issue once; like, why is multishipping not a thing in this fandom?? Maybe I want to jump around dynamics??? Can skk give me friends to lovers?? No?? Great, Kunizai it is. Like, why can't we let people ship other shit than skk and sskk?? Anyways, Chuuya and Akutagawa care for each other, there is mutual respect, they would be a great comfort to one another. I say valid, 10/10 ship.

AkuHigu (Akutagawa/Higuchi) - I love, love, love this ship. Love them. They're so cute?? Like, I'm a die-hard sskk fan until I die, but I would LOVE to see more of this ship. The scene where Higuchi goes to save him?? Where Akutagawa gains consciousness and the first thing he does, before he can properly gather his senses, is apologize to Higuchi?? Also, the whole episode where she's stalking Gin because she thinks she's dating Akutagawa?? Their interactions in Wan?? I actually fucking love them. Every time the focus is on them, I feel like I'm watching a shoujo anime. Higuchi makes me think that Akutagawa would be a romantic. I need more of theeeeeem. Literally they're born to shoujo and forced to shounen. 10/10.

Dazaku (Dazai/Akutagawa) - Since I expressed my frustration with the fandom regarding this in the Dazai ships post, I will focus on my opinions about this ship. Honestly, it makes me feel kinda awkward? When I think of them in a romantic manner? Feels just a little bit like missing a step. However, it's an interpretation I would be open to if I could be convinced that Dazai actually, you know, likes Akutagawa? Like, you know that one scene in Lady Bird that's like "I wish you liked me / You know I love you / But do you like me?" That's how I feel the dynamic is between these two. Yes, Dazai is hoping Atsushi will be good for Akutagawa, and yes, he is happy Akutagawa stopped killing, and God knows what his plans are for the future – but do you like me? Valid ship context wise, neutral territory, I just need a little more from Dazai before I can make a final ruling.

TaniAku (Tanizaki/Akutagawa) - LISTEN GUYS. LISTEN. I BLAME BEAST FOR THIS, BUT THESE TWO ARE SO, SO, SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE. I unironically love them. I don't care that Beast is the only canon I have to work with for this ship; it's so good. Like, the way Beast Tanizaki understood Akutagawa?? The way he supported his revenge mission from the get go?? The way he stormed the Mafia HQs and fucking held an assassin hostage just so he could help Akutagawa?? Ride or die. That bitch. I would actually die if I saw them interact in canon. Like, that's your bestie in another life. 100/10. I need them. It is a need.

TachiAku (Tachihara/Akutagawa) - I have no serious thoughts about this, to be honest. I think it would be lowkey hilarious. I haven't had nearly enough interactions between them for me to get attached to this ship in any way. Plus, now that we know more about Tachihara's...real self, I would love to see more of these two! I am going to allow this ship, and hope to see these two at least fight by each other's side in the future!

I think that's it for the most popular ones, please let me know if I forgot any ships!

[alice-after-dark]

One Day I'll Do a Proper Ship Meme But for Now Here Have My Vox Agenda

Thoughts/headcanons/rambles under cut

TW for abusive StaticMoth and Vox having been a bitch to Sir Pentious.

Alastor/Vox - Do I really need to explain this one? Are you new here? I'll just direct you to search "radiostatic" on my blog. I̸͎̝͛́ ̷͙̲̊̄͐l̴̮̲̭̍͌͆ȏ̶̜v̵̞́̑͒̆e̷̡̡͉̰̍̽́ ̷̇͝ͅt̶̡̛̬̖͓̆h̴̠͎̞͕̑e̵͕̼̜̘͆̈́̃̔m̷̤̜̒

Valentino/Vox - Again, unless you're new here, you'll pretty much know my thoughts on them. Check out my "staticmoth" tag and you'll understand.

Charlie - I see so many parallels between these two and I desperately want them to officially interact in season 2. They're on completely opposite ends of the spectrum and aaaahhhhh I just want to see Vox's cynicism clashing with Charlie's idealism and it could be so good you guys. So good. I do also really like the idea of Charlie being the catalyst to Vox realizing just how much he's changed since arriving in Hell (like he used to enjoy the TV scene for the pure creativity of it and now that's all been replaced by the cold corporate greed).

Vaggie - Honestly, I just think it would be interesting. Also I really hope Vaggie doesn't have a carbon-copy reaction to him like she did Alastor. As I mentioned in a previous post, while yes, she might be cautious, she has less of a reason to be so hostile towards him. Plus their mutual dislike of Alastor would be a bonding moment, but also presents an opportunity for Vaggie to find out more about Alastor (albeit from a biased party).

Angel - I've brought up inklings of these two before, but I think them having a very complicated relationship due to their mutual connection and experiences with Valentino would be interesting, especially in regards to how they both handle it in similar yet different ways. They both bury their pain, Angel by leaning into the sexuality, drugs, and alcohol to forget how much he hates it and Vox by refusing to even acknowledge that he's in pain at all. And Vox's refusal to acknowledge it also makes him complicit in Angel's pain as well. He could do something, could try to stop it, but he doesn't to protect himself. I think seeing the two of them try to heal side by side, both from their issues with Valentino and the issues between each other, would be fascinating.

Husk - Knew each other from back when Vox and Alastor were still friends. Husk calls him "kid" (Vox was in his 30s when he died in the 1950s while Husk was in his 60s when he died in the 1970s) which annoys Vox as he doesn't think he's that much younger than Husk to warrant being called a kid. Vox knew him as an Overlord and was very shocked and kind of sad when he found out about Husk losing his soul to Alastor some time after their falling out (just one more thing to embitter him towards the Radio Demon).

Niffty - Anyone who has been on my blog when I started posting about Hazbin Hotel knows it started with these two. I think a dynamic between them would be fun and interesting to explore. Like Husk, she knew him from back when he was friends with Alastor. I like to think that Vox was literally there when Alastor brought her home with him ("What is that?" / "I'm calling her Niffty! Isn't she precious?" / "She is actively biting your arm." / "What a darling little thing!"). He was a little weirded out by her at first, but has since grown to care for her as much as Alastor does. Despite her size and lack of power, Vox fully trusts in her ability to take care of herself...he's seen things that can't be unseen.

Rosie - Vox definitely respects her for her ability to keep such tight control of a horde of bloodthirsty cannibals and actually turn them into a polite society. Despite not being very physically strong, her charisma and drive keep her on top and well respected. I like the idea that he met her through Alastor when they were still friends and though he hasn't really engaged with her too much since the fallout, he does still hold respect for her and frankly won't tolerate anyone disrespecting her. She is the only one outside of the Vees who knows about Vox practicing using his electrokinesis to heal.

Mimzy - They're not exactly friends, but she will not hesitate to approach him if she sees him. It's Mimzy so she absolutely expects special treatment. She's way more up front with him about wanting something than she is with Alastor simply because she knows Vox operates differently than the deer demon. If she wants something, she's gotta be prepared to pay up in some capacity, but Vox is usually willing to be flexible in terms of payment because she has her uses.

Sir Pentious - Okay, so I know this one is a bit awkward cause it would involve Vox actually apologizing to Sir Pentious for the cruel things he said and telling him to unalive himself, but I really think they'd be interesting. They're both innovators and creators and the two of them combining their skills would be both awesome and terrifying. I do think that Sir Pentious, while he does think all the Vees are incredible, idolizes Vox specifically for these exact reasons.

Velvette - They're both bitches, but they love the other for it. Can snark at each other for hours. They're the two who get shit done, even if Velvette can sometimes take her bitchsona a bit too far and Vox has to reign her in. Politics aren't her strong suit, but he can always count on her to take care of the business side of things.

Zestial - Based on my recent post about them, I like the idea that Vox has a respect for Zestial that he doesn't give to most other Overlords (Rosie being the other exception). Sure, he'll play nice and professional with them, but he doesn't truly respect them like he does Zestial and Rosie. I honestly see them having a mutual respect for each other (though Zestial wouldn't say he approves of Vox's choice in colleagues) and we do see in that Zestial can be a little sassy so I 100% believe if Vox had been present during the Overlord meeting in episode 3, Zestial literally would have ignored Velvette entirely to speak to Vox about the angel's death instead (and we all know how much Velvette would have just loved that).

[cosmics-beings]

With regard to the theory that Starscream is already the leader of the Decepticon movement, or at least the movement before the Decepticons became a thing, I hope for two outcomes. 1.) It actually shows him to be a good leader that people look up to, and one that actually has the sense to run a revolution. It's important because even tho Starscream is a seeker, it shows that bots on various levels of privilege are still impacted by the system, especially if they are outliers and speak out. And we know starscream will speak out and yell at everyone if he doesn't like the way things are going. Also...there has been, more or less, some fandom view on Starscream that his position of privilege doesn't really give him the right to speak on oppression or to actually exist as an oppressed person; at least that is some things I've seen. Especially when people have discussed his dynamic with other Decepticons. I think him being the Decepticon leader before Megatron would be interesting and would show how oppression in Cybertron harms everyone, and how even if he *is* or was an official Seeker, he is still ultimately hurt and oppressed by the system and wants to speak out.

2.) I really hope that he and Megatron get a long and that if they join forces/work together, it isn't built on betrayal or violence, but an actual mutual understanding. A lot of people have been leaning toward the idea that Megatron is going to take the leadership position from Starscream, which I mean in a way would be poetic justice lmao. But I also want Starscream to be portrayed as a competent, yet very militant and violent Decepticon leader that Megatron is inevitably going to be able to help, balance out, and then earn the respect of all the Decepticons and call himself the leader, along with Starscream. Alternatively, Starscream is leading the soon to be Decepticons and he and Megatron create the movement together. What I'm trying to say is that while it's the allure of their dynamic, it would be really cool to see them divert from trying to kill each other and actually forming the movement together or rather, Starscream being leader of the movement, Megatron earning his respect and the respect of the others, and then he is naturally able to be seen as a leader figure. It would be such a different twist and i'd love it.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Do you lean more towards the view that John was irrevocably in love with Paul but this wasn’t reciprocated in the same way because Paul is straight? Hence the bitterness of John and the bewilderment of Paul during the break up and the following decade? I struggle between this view and view there was a mutual love between them. I go back and forth, my head saying the first is probably more likely but my heart finding it too heartbreaking and depressingly tragic. Then finding further ambiguous stories that swing my view back around and so on and so on. I actually find the view that it was purely platonic on both sides more comforting (for lack of a better word) than the one sided love take on things. I also struggle with the *it was all John and his many mental issues fault* discord, maybe because I find it again, too heartbreaking. But also too black and white, Paul was the saint, John was the broken one. Ah I just don’t know! It drives me insane sometimes. I just wondered if you related at all? What’s your opinions? I just love reading nuanced Mclennon takes and I very much respect yours :)

Hi anon! thanks for this ask, I really enjoy talking about this too.

I actually think you bringing up what stories we find the most comforting is too often overlooked. The distinction between what is true and what one wants to be true is important.

Personally, I think the two-sided platonic take is the least tragic – not that friendship breakups aren't incredibly sad, but in this particular case it wouldn't carry as much extra baggage. TBH, regarding the one-sided scenario, I actually find it heartbreaking from Paul's perspective specifically, because it's something I feel he would both want to know and which would be about the most upsetting thing he could possibly find out now, when it is far too late to do anything about it.

But on the other hand, I also disagree that one-sided attraction from John's side is more heartbreaking than something two-sided (assuming it was deep, not just situational mutual lusting), because I find the idea that Paul has been hiding something that huge his entire life almost disturbingly sad. I know he's a private person, but if John was some lost Great Love of his, I can't imagine it not weighing on him that he's felt the need to tiptoe around that for half a century (given he does enjoy speaking about Linda in that way). As I've said, the idea of it being one-sided is very sad to me, but there's also sort of a "well, nothing to be done about that" to it, which takes some sting out of that scenario to me. If there was a mutual attraction there, then it does to me feel viscerally upsetting if they never got to actually give that a fair shot (seeing as most people don't think John and Paul were in a committed longterm relationship, even if they think they had a multi-year sexual thing going on).

Okay, now onto what I think the truth is. Firstly, I want to reiterate: I don't know the truth, there's a lot of unknown variables at play. There's a sort of "default" most likely scenario in my head, but I try to keep as many possibilities as I can in mind.

As I've said, I have not found there to be a very compelling case that Paul is anything but straight (but I am open to the idea that he might not be). There is a very compelling case that John was not. From there, it doesn't seem like a leap to me, based on quotes, that John at some point had at least a crush on Paul. What gets murkier is assessing how relevant that was to the breakup and their relationship at large. I agree with you that saying "the breakup happened because he couldn't stand not being with Paul" is a gross simplification, as is "John was Mentally Ill™, thus breakup". But dismissing either of those things as at least co-factors in the breakup seems unwise to me.

I feel like understanding John's journey with internalized homophobia would be relevant here. Even if by the time the band broke up he was no longer "down bad" for Paul, I can't help but feel like, if John was generally feeling negative about his attraction to men, that he would project that onto a former male love interest of his, especially if he was already mad at Paul for other reasons (business and music-related). I talked about how primal therapy specifically might have exacerbated this here (though bear in mind: I no longer would use the term 'conversion therapy' to describe primal, just because people tend to misunderstand the details and sensationalize this chapter in John's life).

Looking at John's breakup behaviour, I'm also somewhat reminded of this guy from my high school who went from very obviously crushing on me to very openly and repeatedly voicing his disgust with me. Is that to ensure nobody gets "the wrong idea"? Is it needing to convince yourself your feelings weren't real or that moving on is the right answer? I'm not sure.

Furthermore, Yoko did basically tell Norman that she thought John was partially extremely angry at Paul post-breakup because he felt sexually rejected by him. Like. That's a thing John's widow, who was there at the time, said lol, though I'm not actually opposed to the idea that maybe Yoko is kind of an overly enthusiastic shipper herself and has maybe even read more into it than was there. But I also can't just dismiss her when she is basically the single most knowledgable source on John.

Lastly, even though I think it's quite possible that John had an unrequited sexual and romantic attraction towards Paul, I don't think I'd claim Paul loved John less. I think Paul was kind of obsessed with John,* and still is in some sense (though the reasons for that are far more complicated and related to 1) the senseless tragedy of John's death and 2) Paul basically having to act as a sounding board for everyone on earth's grief for John).

Not that this fact would necessarily have been all that comforting to John at the time, but I kind of reject the premise that it's completely tragic because their relationship was built on a mutual love, even if it wasn't always compatible in that way.

*I also kind of think Paul probably enjoyed the attention John gave him, even if (or perhaps because) he didn't realize what John's intentions were.

Does that all make sense?

[aayakashii]

hihi! I absolutely love ur hcs and fics!! (I may or may not have downloaded Tumblr just from your fics on AO3 👉👈)

anyways- I wanted to ask if you have any hcs for unlikely friendships among the ghouls? Like maybe Lyca and Mido would get along well, or Leo and Rui?

also do you have any hcs for Towa's flower nicknames for the other ghouls? (Like how he calls MC "dandelion", Edward "Rafflesia", etc)

OH MY GOD??????????? this is literally the sweetest ask I have ever gotten seriously seriously thank you so much for liking my fics AND DOWNLOADING TUMBLR BECAUSE OF THEM??? OMG 😭 THIS IS SURREAL...... I hope we get to interact a lot more here now!!!! >:3

Now now about your request, it's actually something I've never thought about!!

Off the top of my head, I think these are some good friends:

Haru and Tohma: two tired men who work a lot and bond because of their exhaustion 🤝 Haru could go to the vault whenever he is suffering from heat exhaustion after spending too much time under the sun and Tohma could take his walks around Jabberwock’s fields! Mutual benefits!

Lyca, Kaito and Luca: @ghoulspaw had the great idea that Kaito and Luca would be the best boys to play with Lyca >:3 and I think they'd be quite understanding (Kaito would take a while to warm up to him because he's a wuss) and Luca could help Lyca with his studies!!!

Alan and Lyca: I promise not all of them will involve Lyca. But I JUST KNOW Lyca would be :O!!!!!! after seeing Alan and how strong he is. Cue new sparring buddy for Alan!!!!

Kaito and Sho: I think this is either a bit canon or someone else already had a headcanon??? But Kaito bakes sweets I think?? AM I THINKING OF A FIC I READ???? But anyway, Sho and him could exchange recipes! Leo would hate it though because he hates Kaito but That's Not About Him.

Ed and Zenji: come on. You can't tell me Ed doesn't see ghosts. Zenji would be more than happy to watch youtube with Ed and would force him to like every video he posts AND subscribe. And hit the bell.

Ren and Kaito: they would be that meme that's a bunch of ppl thinking "wow these people are a bunch of freaks! I'm the only normal one here." Except they would think "wow this guy is a loser. Thank goodness I'm not like that!" In the end, they are both losers and Ren will worsen Kaito's gambling addiction by introducing him to a bunch of gacha games.

Okay if you have more ideas please let me know because this was actually so much fun LMAO

Regarding Towa's nicknames, I genuinely think that him nicknaming people comes from a place of disdain. Like, his nicknames aren't necessarily based on the language of flowers. Sometimes, he just associates the characteristic of the plant with the character's personalities.

Edward is Rafflesia because rafflesia is the corpse flower, which smells rotten and like dead bodies. Ren is Wolfsbane because it's extremely poisonous, even to the touch. PC is Dandelion because it's a weed and it's weak, and Towa made it very clear that he thinks PC is cute because she's weak.

I don't actually know why Kaito is Coriander, but given that some people are born with the genes that make coriander taste like soap, maybe it's a nod to the fact that not everyone likes him (since he's not very well liked in Frostheim)???? Genuinely have no idea

As for Zenji, I imagine Towa associated him with Iris based on one of the flower's meaning, which is "bearer of messages and a symbol of deep sentiments" which... fits Zenji, his role in Hotarubi and his love for his baby brother quite well.

And I THINK that he doesn't refer to Haru as a flower/herb because he genuinely likes and respects Haru (unlike Ren and Ed) and doesn't think of him as someone weak and pathetic (unlike PC and Kaito).

SO.......... KNOWING ALL THAT...... now let's get into the name ideas *rubs hands* not all of them will be associated with the flower's meanings btw!!

Alan: anthurium! It's the strongest flower >:)

Sho: basil or thyme merely because of how useful they are in cuisine hehe

Taiga: with how much Taiga raids Jabberwock, Towa probably already got a nickname for him, but if it was me, I'd say petunia because one of its meanings is trouble and he's always causing Haru trouble.

Romeo: mandrake. Because he screams a lot LMAO and mandrake is that root that, in myths, people say screams when you uproot it.

Haku: lotus!!! One of its meanings is mystery and I think it fits him since he's allllll mysterious

Subaru: wisteria, I can't associate him with any other flower 😭

Lyca: lupine, for obvious reasons. It's a legume and it means wolf!!!!

Jiro: okay this name is UGLY but: rhododendron. It's means "beware" in Victorian flower language!

I genuinely didn't have any other ideas for the other ghouls so if you think of any, tell meeeeeeeee this was such a fun ask I love these types of requests!!!!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR JOINING TUMBLR AGAIN........ STILL CANT BELIEVE IT 😭

[perfectsunlight]

summer bummer

𝗸𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 𝟲,𝟴𝟰𝟵 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱: ✔

𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿 - 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝘆

being an intern at SM entertainment was a dream come true in itself. you never would have thought that you, as a foreigner, would even have the opportunity to be employed at such an organization. thankfully, you struck the jackpot, and landed a year-long internship position that would be eligible for renewal. 

SM operated like a colony of ants. different people had different roles, and even though some roles may be seen as more important, everyone was needed to help the company operate smoothly. without the idols, there was no SM entertainment. without the employees, there would be no SM entertainment. it was a mutual understanding that came with mutual respect as well.

you learned to respect the idols and their space. you made sure to bow every time, and sometimes even twice just because you couldn’t remember if you had the first time. your work mainly dealt with the production team, so naturally you came into contact with almost every idol signed under the company. 

however, with aespa having a comeback soon, you were told that you would have to work with them more often and more closely. you didn’t know much about the group other than their names and concept. you actually only met aeri once, and that was because she was the one who helped you find your way to the recording room on your first day. 

today you would be having your first meeting with the girls to discuss logistics and other things regarding the title track that you were tasked with producing. it was a big job, but the fact that SM trusted you enough to handle it just gave you the motivation to do your absolute best.

your fingers flipped through the pages of previously scrapped songs, doing your best to analyze the lyrics and what they were trying to portray that didn’t end up showing. you wanted the best for the girls, and you wanted to do your best because your job did depend on it. 

the door to the recording room suddenly opened, and you smiled at the sight of the 4 girls making their way inside. 

“hi y/n,” aeri flashed you a smile to which you mirrored. she stepped sideways before motioning towards her other members. “this is ningning,” she pointed at the brunette who waved. “and that’s karina and winter.” she finally pointed at the two girls whose hands were interlocked with each other.

you had heard about karina and winter being close, so it wasn’t a surprise once your co-worker spilled the beans and mentioned that they were dating. just from the first introduction, you could tell that the two had a very loving relationship.

minjeong and jimin’s relationship was the envy of many. even when they were just merely being shipped together, everyone wanted someone to look at them the way the two women looked at each other. their chemistry on and off the stage proved how much they loved each other. they were perfect for each other.

“it’s nice to meet you all, im excited to work with you and i hope we can create something amazing together.”

the meeting went on without any issues, and each of the girls had mentioned what they wanted in the upcoming title track. eventually, you managed to map out a set schedule for recording and writing. it was a highly productive meeting in your eyes. however, the entire time you could only focus on someone else’s pair. 

for some reason, karina couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. the idol felt drawn to you, even though she had just met you. periodically, winter would often graze her thumb over her hand. she didn’t notice it, really. her attention was entirely set on you. 

from the way your eyebrows furrowed, to the way your wrist twitched when you wrote, karina was analyzing every micro and macro detail about you. the meeting was about their group’s title track, but she would have much rather spent the time talking about you.

you had to be really good for SM to entrust the title track to you. she knew that you were new, but she didn’t think much of it until she walked into the room with you. she wanted to know everything about you.  jimin wanted to know just how special you were. 

by the time the next meeting had rolled around, the aespa members had all decided on their parts for a song you all decided to try experimenting with first. the order of recording went from youngest to oldest, with karina being the last to record. 

the other three had done just fine, not struggling much except for a few spots. surprisingly, the leader of the group seemed to really struggle with her parts. 

“you three can head back if you want, ill head home once im finished here.” jimin called out with her head poking out from the door. giselle and ning nodded and got their things to leave, but you could clearly see that winter was pouting and not wanting to leave without her girlfriend. 

jimin, being ever so attentive, made her way out of the booth and planted a soft kiss on the blonde’s head. “i’ll be home soon, i promise.” she whispered, watching the pout on minjeong’s lips disappear into a smile. 

once winter left with her other members, you were left alone with the aespa leader.

“i think you need to use more air in this part here,” you pointed to the lyric sheet in front of her while you gently tried to explain what she could do to improve. jimin’s eyes were trained on you the entire time, not on the paper. karina was an excellent vocalist, of course she knew what she needed to fix.

 as a matter of fact, she knew exactly how to read her lines. she just wanted–no, needed an excuse to be alone with you. 

“y/n,” 

your ears perked up at her voice, and you turned to face her fully with your head tilted slightly. the sight of your attentiveness to her made heat rush to her face. she prayed you wouldn’t be able to tell in the lighting of the booth. 

“yes?” you asked, a small smile on your face. “do you want me to show you how to do it?” you added, wanting to do anything to help the idol so she could do her best. 

before she could respond, you began singing the lines with ease. jimin swore she felt her entire nervous system stop working once her ears heard the sound of your voice.

if winter’s voice was like air, yours was like water. 

your voice alone could easily pass for one of an idol, and she didn’t notice it, but her jaw had dropped. you took note though, and simply flashed her your signature smile.

“you look like you’ve seen a ghost, karina.” 

a smile mirrored the idol’s lips as she felt the blush on her face heat up again. you were so adorable, and she couldn’t help but feel weak in the knees at the sound of her name rolling off your tongue. 

“jimin,” she said slowly, earning a look of confusion from you. she licked her lips before she continued speaking. “you can just call me jimin.” 

the two of you finished wrapping up her lines after what seemed like forever. it was dark outside, and jimin was starving. she could only imagine how hungry you had been, especially since you mentioned how you had been in the studio all day.

“hey y/n, lets go grab something to eat. it’s on me, consider it a thank you.” karina offered, earning a hesitant smile from you. you had heard that jimin was a kind woman, and practically the epitome of a disney princess, but to feel her kindness directed towards you made you feel shy all of a sudden.

“no need to thank me, jimin. i’m just doing my job.”

a scoff left the raven haired girl’s lips as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder. “come on, i’m not letting you leave just like that. you and i both need to eat, so let’s go.” she smiled down at you, and you couldn’t help but smile back and agree. 

besides, who couldn’t say no to her? after all, she was yu jimin. 

the two of you chatted away, getting to know each other better while you sat on the sidewalk in front of the dorms, eating takeout in the middle of the night. jimin was so caught up in her conversation with you that she didn’t realize how late it had been until you checked your phone and started apologizing. 

“thank you for tonight, jimin. i’m so sorry i didn’t see the time, i didn’t mean to keep you up.” you rambled, immediately scrambling to get your things to leave as soon as possible. 

the older girl stuck her hand out to hold your wrist, giving you the most genuine smile she had probably ever given. 

“i could talk to you for hours, y/n.”

your words got caught in your throat as you stared into her midnight eyes. jimin’s hair was down and undone, blowing softly in the night’s breeze. you would be lying if you said she still didn’t look gorgeous. she was a beautiful woman. you envied winter at that small moment for dating such a woman.

your recording sessions with aespa got more frequent, but your midnight dinners with karina seemed to be happening more often as well. you and jimin had gotten much, much closer. you considered her a good friend, but you two had yet to share any emotional moments. 

however, that all changed after one specific night.

it was technically not your day to record anything, but you found yourself in the studio playing around with a few new tracks. you wanted to potentially change something in the chorus of the title track, but you didn’t decide on anything yet. it was close to 1 in the morning, and you were just about to head home when the door to the room flung open.

you nearly fell out of your chair because it caught you so off guard, but what caught you even more off guard was the person who was standing in the doorway.

“jimin? are you okay?”

the idol closed the door behind her before she sat down on the couch with her head in her hands. she sniffled, and you didn’t bother pushing her to respond. instead, you simply moved over to sit on the couch with her and rub her back comfortingly.

“i didn’t know where else to go, im sorry.” she whispered softly, but from the hoarseness of her voice, you could tell she had definitely been crying. 

“you’re always welcome here, don't worry.” you hesitantly wrapped your arms around her shoulders, but you felt better once she visibly relaxed in your arms.

the two of you sat that way for a while, but the silence was comforting to jimin given the screaming match she just had mere hours ago.

“minjeong and i got into an argument,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. 

your head turned to face her, noticing her tear stained cheeks and the way her eyelashes were wet from crying. “do you want to talk about it?” 

jimin’s head hung and she shook her head, trying her best to keep herself composed somewhat. you nodded in understanding, respecting her decision and the underlying reasons for it.

 “is there anything else i can do for you?” you asked gently, removing your arms from her shoulders and letting them fall in your lap.

jimin turned to look at you, and for the first time that night, she managed to smile. “do you have any soju?”

around an hour had passed and you two were pretty tipsy to say the least. since the recording room was naturally soundproof, you two were able to laugh and talk freely as loud as you wanted. you were pretty sure you were on your second bottle at this point because you were starting to feel a bit more fuzzy than before.

you don’t remember how it happened or whose idea it was, but somehow you and jimin agreed to mess around on the vocal tracks. you just kept pressing the record button while she started singing “black mamba” but the “drunk version” as you two called it. 

karina insisted on you being apart of the song too, which was how you were hugging each other while screaming into the microphone. you couldn’t take her seriously though, and not even halfway through, you couldn’t stop laughing. 

“yah! y/n,” jimin laughed and rolled her eyes playfully. “you’re messing up the song! it has to be good.” she whined while shaking your shoulders. 

“sorry, but i can’t take you seriously when you’re yelling.” you reasoned, doing your best to not start laughing again. 

the aespa member groaned before leaning her head on your shoulder. “you’re lucky you’re cute.”

even in your drunken state, you knew you weren’t hearing things when her voice reached your ears. she had to mean it platonically, right? after all, she was with minjeong. she had a girlfriend. 

“you heard me, y/n.” karina whispered, leaning her head on your shoulder. it was as if she had read your own mind. “i think you’re cute.”

maybe it was the mix of the alcohol and emotions she was on, but jimin couldn’t help but say how she felt about you. relationship be damned, she couldn’t deny the way she felt about you. it was never her intention to fall for you, but she wasn’t going to stop. 

you don’t remember the rest of the conversation that followed, but what you do remember were bits and pieces of jimin kissing you against the wall, as well as some very vague images of her on top of you on the couch. 

still, you didn’t need the full recap to know what had happened between you two. it only made it worse once you had to see the girls again a few days after it had happened.

you couldn’t face minjeong properly, or even stare at her for longer than a few sentences. you felt immense regret, and even though it wasn’t just your fault, you couldn’t help but feel terrible for basically helping jimin cheat on her girlfriend.

thankfully, it seemed like karina and winter made up. however, you had a feeling that the younger girl didn’t know what happened between the two of you. and in all honesty, was it even your place to say anything either?

recording ended early, and you bid the members goodbye before turning to save everything you guys had worked on before hearing the door shut behind you. you nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt a pair of arms snake around your body. 

“hi,” jimin whispered, feeling her body relax against yours naturally. your head turned to face her, jaw agape and eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. was she still intoxicated somehow? 

the black haired girl couldn’t help but laugh at your visible confusion. “what’s wrong?” 

“what are you doing?” you hissed quietly, eyes quickly snapping towards the door as if minjeong or any other one of the members would walk in at any moment and witness the current situation.

“i missed you.” she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t give you tiny butterflies in your stomach. however, they were most definitely the bad kind of butterflies. 

“jimin,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “we can’t do this, you have a girlfriend.”

karina’s dark eyes remained locked with yours, making you seem a bit uneasy at the way she started smiling after. “you’re so adorable, y/n/n.”

she cupped your face in between her hands, running her thumbs gently across your cheeks. she simply admired your confusion laced features, committing them to memory in case you would disappear right there on the spot. 

“do you know why minjeong and i got into an argument?”

you shook your head, recalling that jimin didn’t want to speak about what exactly went down between the two of them. 

jimin’s lip twitched into a wider smile before she leaned in closer to your face, your noses touching lightly.

 she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, “because i moaned your name and not hers.”

ice ran through your veins as you froze on the spot. jimin’s drunk actions were indeed sober thoughts. yu jimin, aespa’s karina, was infatuated with you, despite having her girlfriend. jimin wasn’t lying either. she and minjeong had been in the middle of a makeout session, but all the black haired girl could think about the entire time was how your lips would feel instead. as a result, she accidentally said your name, and the argument that followed was the reason for her running to your studio later that evening.

your silence caused the raven haired girl to grin even more. you didn’t know it yet, but you had been the object of her desires since the moment she met you. somehow, you had managed to make jimin fall so hard to the point where she could care less about her and minjeong. 

their years of history meant nothing to her anymore. sure, she cared about minjeong’s well being, but not in a romantic way anymore. she hadn’t cared about anything regarding her own relationship from the moment you introduced yourself to the group. the way you spoke, the way you sang, the way you wrote, the way you walked. every single detail that made you up, made her more impossibly infatuated. 

your sophistication was enough to make jimin want to leave winter, and as a matter of fact, she had already tried to. 

after the night she ran to the studio with you, she told her managers that she was going to break things off with minjeong. however, they refused to let her. she told them that she was in love with someone else, but despite her pleas and protests, they told her she had to stay with winter. it would be bad for publicity if they broke up, so she had to deal with loving you in secret for now.

your eyes met hers once more, and before you could process everything happening, she pressed her lips against yours. this time, a sober kiss, but she wanted to make sure you knew without a doubt that what she felt for you was real. 

her scent was intoxicating, and the way her chapstick tasted sent shivers down your spine. you knew you felt something towards the other girl as well, but unlike her, you had a guilty conscience about it. minjeong was someone you still admired too, and even though you weren’t too close, you still respected her as a person. 

you pulled away and jimin chased your lips, but stopped once she saw your flushed face. “what about minjeong?” you hesitantly asked, still trying to fully comprehend everything. 

“she’s not the one i want. don’t worry about her,” karina’s nails gently ran down your sides as she pressed her body against yours. “i want you, y/n. not her.”

she kissed your forehead, and you couldn’t help but feel conflicted. on one hand, you didn’t want to play any part of this messed up situation. jimin had feelings for you too, and you maybe had some for her as well, but she was in a relationship. you didn’t want to be that kind of person. 

however, on the other hand, you technically already had played a part in this mess. you and jimin crossed that line already, and you had crossed it together. there was no way you could go back now, so why stop now?

that latter was the logic you kept once things got more serious with karina. it had been over a month and a half since this all started, and truthfully, you still didn’t know how to feel.

you undid your shoelaces, taking your hightops off and setting them by the door before you made your way inside your apartment. the midday summer sun shone through your windows and illuminated the place with natural light.

you began rummaging through your mail, sorting what was important and what was not, until your phone began buzzing.

INCOMING CALL FROM: J &lt;3 …

of course, you answered without hesitation.

“hi, princess.” 

your eyes rolled playfully at the nickname, but a smile formed on your lips. jimin always made you smile, even if she was being extra. “hi, stranger.”

a scoff escaped her lips, and you heard it clearly. “stranger? interesting.”

“when are you coming over?” you asked while you mindlessly threw out some of your junk mail. 

you heard her hum on the other end of the phone before she answered. “she thinks im going home tonight and spending the weekend with my parents, so i’ll see you later tonight once i take her out for dinner.”

at this point in your “relationship” there wasn’t much spoken about minjeong anymore. sure, you knew that she and jimin were still very much together, and that jimin had to make it seem like everything was fine.

except, sometimes it did hurt you a little. you were falling for the other girl in the process of all of this mess, so naturally it made you feel a little jealous whenever jimin would do things with minjeong. 

of course, you trusted the girl, but you also understood that minjeong was very much still her girlfriend regardless. 

a hum in approval was all you gave before speaking. “alright then, i'll see you later.” jimin heard your tone shift but before she could even mention anything about it, you heard the muffled voice of minjeong in the background.

“see you later.”

the call ended, but you knew how this went because it always happened like this. since it was summer, your sessions with the group were not as often since they were filming for their next season of synk road and fulfilling their ambassador duties.

this meant you didn’t see jimin as often as you wanted, but she still called and texted every day because she missed you. you knew she missed you, but for whatever reason, you seemed to feel more insecure about your alleged position in her heart. 

jimin was cheating on minjeong with you, but wasn’t jimin also technically cheating on you too? 

then again, it wasn’t like the two of you had established any formal relationship together. all that you two knew, and had mentioned, was that you shared mutual feelings for each other. nothing more, and certainly nothing less.

you decided to distract yourself by showering and turning on some tv. moonlight crept into your apartment, and as you sat on your couch in your (jimin’s) comfiest clothes, you couldn’t help but notice the sinking feeling in your stomach once each minute passed.

it was already half past nine, and still no sign of the other girl. your scowl only grew more, but there wasn’t much you could do except move in closer to your couch cushion and grumble to yourself. 

as if on cue, not even 10 minutes later, you heard jimin come through the door. she saw your curled up figure, and noticed your attention was on the TV. she was a little bummed that you weren’t seemingly excited to see her. usually, you would run to greet her, especially since she hadn't seen you for a few days. 

“jagiya?” 

karina set her bag down and made her way towards the couch. you were still feeling a bit upset, and she knew something was wrong with your lack of energy, but she didn’t know why. the older girl moved to sit next to you and wrapped her arms around your torso. 

“hi.” you mumbled, keeping your eyes trained on the screen in front of you. 

a small frown etched onto the idol’s face, and she couldn’t help but feel worried about your behavior even more. “what’s wrong, baby?” she leaned down to press a kiss to your lips.

“nothing.” you muttered, but jimin’s frown only deepened once you turned your head and she only managed to kiss your cheek. she whimpered, looking like a kicked puppy at your sudden cold shoulder. jimin didn’t like it, and she didn’t like how you also weren’t telling her why you were acting this way. 

“did i do something wrong?” 

your silence was deafening, and if it wasn’t for the ambience of the random TV show playing, it would have been much more quiet. you didn’t want to potentially argue with karina, but you also were dying to have some sort of reassurance from the idol.

“what are we, jimin?”

the dark haired girl’s head snapped up and her eyes widened a little. she wasn’t expecting to have this conversation with you. maybe with minjeong, but definitely not with you.

“i don’t know what this is, or if this is just some game for you.” you added, fiddling with your fingers while you tried your best to be honest with her.

you were the only person jimin cared about in the world. had she not done a good enough job of showing you that? obviously she hadn’t, considering you were feeling insecure about yourself in the moment. she used her hand to cup your face, turning it to face her entirely. she scanned your face, concern etched into every feature.

 “you’re the love of my life, y/n.”

your gaze softened at her honesty, and part of you felt guilty for even doubting her feelings for you. karina took your softened gaze as an opportunity to continue speaking.

“from the moment i laid my eyes on you, i knew you were special. i knew i needed to have you. everything i feel for you, its real.”

to be honest, this was the most you two had talked about your feelings since her confession. and it did reassure you somewhat, but you had one important thing to get off of your chest.

“what about minjeong?”

jimin’s gaze never faltered, she simply pulled you into her lap and wrapped her arms around your back and waist. she leaned down to press her lips to your temple, and you instantly relaxed under her soft touch. 

“i feel nothing for her. every single time she kisses me, its only you i see. whenever she tells me she loves me, i can only say it back if i pretend its you. as a matter of fact,” she ran her hands up your shirt and caressed your back with her fingertips. the action combined with her sweet words sent shivers down your spine. “i was late tonight because i was arguing with my managers again. i tried to break it off again, like i always do. i’m always fighting for you, for us.”

the power you held over her was beyond her, and you had no idea what it was doing to the young idol. she was entirely in the palm of your hand, and you could do as you wished with her.

“what do you want me to do, baby? tell me, and i’ll do it.” the idol’s lips met your neck as she left the softest and lightest pecks at its base. truth be told, karina would do anything for you. if you told her to jump, she would say how high. if you said to run, she would ask how far. 

“you don’t have to do anything, jimin.” you whispered, not noticing the pout that formed on her lips. 

she stared up at you with her darkened eyes, “no. my baby doesn���t understand how much i care about her, so i  need to do something.”

“there’s nothing that can be done about it.” you said softly, pulling your neck away from her lips. the action made her face fall, but she was able to connect the dots and figured out immediately what the issue at hand was.

jimin’s hands moved to gently, but firmly, hold your waist. “look at me, y/n.” she quietly demanded, and you complied, of course. you would always do whatever she wanted, that was no question.

her gaze never left yours as she spoke, sending a flush to your face in the process. “i love you.”

karina’s lips kissed your forehead, then your cheek, and then the tip of your nose. the realization of her statement made your stomach flutter. you two had never said the words to each other; this was the first time you had heard her say it.

“i only love you, y/n.” 

she repeated herself, emphasizing each syllable as she pulled you in closer to her. she scanned your face for any sign of a reaction. her revelation was something she had always known herself, but she figured that by finally saying it out loud to you it may give you reassurance.

you wrapped your arms around her neck and pressed your lips against hers. jimin reciprocated immediately, letting a sigh escape from her mouth as she melted against you. you were her only true weakness, but also her only true strength. it was a beautiful balance; one that she was hell bent on keeping.

once you pulled away, your foreheads rested against each other. the two of you remained like that for a moment, simply relishing in the intimate moment. karina loved you, and you now knew that without the shadow of a doubt. despite her history with minjeong, she was so certain of her feelings for you. she had told you countless times how winter was not the one she had feelings for, and that it was only ever you.

for her it was always, and only ever going to be, you. for you, it was always, and only ever going to be, her. 

“i love you too, jimin.”

from that moment on, your relationship was more established. you two both knew that you were only each others, despite what the media thought. your relationship had to be secret, especially since minjeong or her other members didn’t know. however, despite keeping everyone in the dark, you two felt no regrets whatsoever.

especially in situations like now, when you two were making out in the practice room that her members had been in just mere minutes before. 

jimin was on top of you again, a sight that you saw often, but you would never get tired of it either. your back pressed into the wooden floor beneath you, which was freezing earlier, but since jimin pounced on you the moment you came through the door, your body felt anything but cold.

the idol’s hands dug into your waist, making you moan into her mouth. your secret lover grinned into the kiss, relishing in the effect she had on you. jimin was in the palm of your hand, but you were equally in hers as well. 

the two of you halted your movements once you heard footsteps echoing down the hall. however, jimin didn’t care about getting caught. she just didn’t want someone interrupting you two right now.

“shh,” she whispered against your lips, pecking them once more before she pulled herself off of you. she still hovered over your frame, but her body wasn’t pressed against yours. her midnight hues scanned your face, something she always had a habit of doing. she loved memorizing your features and committing them to her memory. you were a masterpiece, a true work of art. how could she not admire you?

“beautiful.” 

jimin’s hands intertwined with yours, her lips meeting your knuckles in a sweet gesture. a shade of crimson flushed your face. even after all this time, her compliments seemed to always have the same effect on you. 

“says the idol on top of me.” you replied, chest still slightly heaving as you attempted to catch your breath. you never fully understood how someone like her feel completely in love with you. especially since her relationship with her band member was seen as the epitome of every relationship. however, you never thought too long about it, especially when your lover was always so quick to reassure you. 

the mentioned idol leaned down and kissed your lips once more, slowly but firmly. she was insatiable, naturally. but she couldn’t help herself. you were practically the definition of perfection in her eyes. she would never be able to get enough of you. she wasn’t complaining, though. 

“marry me, y/n.”

she whispered against your lips, but before you could even say anything in response, she pressed another quick kiss to your swollen lips. “marry me and we won’t have to hide. then they can’t force me to do anything anymore.”

“jimin,” you warned, thinking she was somehow joking, but one glance at her and you knew she wasn’t. she had the same attentive expression on her face as always. you could practically see the wheels turning in her head. “let’s not do anything stupid.”

karina kissed the crown of your head gently, treating your body as if it was the most delicate thing in existence. “i’m tired of hiding. aren’t you?”

“your contract would be in jeopardy, my love.” you tried to reason, hoping that you would remind her of her job’s responsibilities. she was bound by her contact to her idol duties, and she was also the leader of aespa. she couldn’t exactly abandon that just for you, and you wouldn’t ask her to do such a thing anyway. 

karina whined and you kissed her temple. “i’ll threaten to leave, then.” your brows furrowed as you looked at her in disbelief once more. “you will do no such thing, rina.” 

the idol groaned once more, but chose to ignore your logical reasoning by kissing you fervently again. you tried to push her away to continue chastising her, but she kept chasing your lips. the older girl was about to attack your neck, but the buzzing of your phone caught both of you off guard.

reluctantly pulling away from your lover, you reached for it and answered without looking. 

“hello?” 

“y/n, what’s with this audio file?”

your brow furrowed as you gently moved jimin off of you. “which one?”

“the one you sent me wasn’t the one for the title track.”

your face met your forehead as you groaned, mentally trying to figure out which one you accidentally sent. fortunately for you, your boss jogged your memory.

“y/n, i don’t know what you…you and karina do…but uh, you definitely sent the wrong one.”

the color drained from your face and your gaze met jimin’s. her brows furrowed, since her close proximity, she could hear the conversation going on. however, she was just as lost as you. the two of you kept everything you did private, including your intimate moments. so how on earth would someone else know?

“ill uh, ill look into it. sorry, again.” you replied, still just as confused. you moved your phone to your other ear before mouthing something to karina. “what is he talking about?”

she only shrugged, standing up and reaching over to grab her phone from her bag. your attention was brought back to your conversation.

“yeah, i don’t know what you’re going to tell the other girls though. just send me the track by tonight.”

he ended the call once you exchanged farewells, but once you turned to jimin, you finally realized what audio file you had accidentally sent.

it was from the night you two got drunk in the studio. you had accidentally left the record button on in the booth, which picked up every single sound and word that was exchanged.

your face flushed red, and as you turned to face jimin, she stared at her phone with a smile on her face.

“what?” she asked, tilting her head at you once she made eye contact. 

you swallowed the lump in your throat, trying your best to calm your racing heart. your boss had heard you and karina, basically reliving the moment you two shared with a front row seat. “jimin, he heard the recording of us from the night we got drunk in the studio.” 

the idol’s smile only grew wider, making you feel significantly more confused. why was she smiling at a time like this? 

jimin held her phone to your face, showing you her screen. it was her conversation with minjeong. 

it was text after text of minjeong cursing at jimin, numerous amounts of “fuck you” and “how could you” messages. the realization suddenly hit you once you read the final message: “we’re done.” and your manager’s words echoed in your mind once again.

“yeah, i don’t know what you’re going to tell the other girls though.”

shit. they heard it.

“we don’t have to hide anymore, baby.” jimin grinned and kissed your face over and over, practically bursting at the seams with energy. you looked at her like she was insane. the smile on jimin’s face was the brightest you had ever seen. she swayed you in her arms, holding you close and forgetting about her phone and her extremely upset ex. 

however, she didn’t care. and truthfully? neither did you. the only thing you cared about was getting the title track sent in by your deadline. 

you suddenly felt a smile growing on your face, mirroring hers. you didn’t have to hide anymore, and with minjeong knowing as well, things would definitely look different with their management. jimin wouldn’t have to threaten anyone, and she would get to have her relationship with you. 

“i’m going to show everyone that you’re my lover, the real love of my life.” jimin whispered in your ear.

your smile never faltered, and you could only feel butterflies in your stomach at the thought of being able to go out and do public dates with your girlfriend. “we can go on dates,” she continued, pressing a kiss to your cheek and then again on your lips. “i don’t care what people will say,” karina’s eyes glinted with happiness. “i’m yours, and you are mine.”

you wrapped your arms around her neck, looking up at her with the same lovesick look she shared with you. “let’s go on vacation somewhere, just you and me.” she proposed as she wrapped her arms around your waist. 

“i’d like that,” you answered with a giggle, feeling ticklish as she nuzzled her nose into your shoulder. with a deep breath, she inhaled your scent and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “we can leave once the title track is released.” 

“how about hawaii?” karina asked, pressing her lips to your neck gently. “i’ve heard their black beaches are gorgeous.”

you hummed in thought, recalling the numerous times you two had mentioned traveling somewhere together just to get away. but with the comeback preparations and summer ambassador activities, your plans were often squashed. 

“hm, i don’t know jimin. we have a lot to clean up here.”

she groaned into your neck, “come on, don’t be a bummer, babe.”

however, now that your schedules were going to be much more free, you decided now would be the best time to go. 

“fine, lets do it.”

the photos of you two making out on the sandy black beaches in hawaii made headlines the next weekend, but neither of you cared anymore. you didn’t care about hiding, she didn’t care about what people said about her and minjeong. she didn’t care because now she got the girl she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid to show it. 

karina’s face was plastered all over media outlets, and aespa gained a lot of attention from your relationship. even though most people didn’t know who you were, once karina publicly mentioned your name in an interview the amount of attention you received was enormous. she had always defended your name though, making sure to come for anyone that dared taint your name. she was fine with people taking her name through the mud, but yours? 

she would rather burn her own hands than let someone else harm you.

minjeong and the others were still very upset with their leader, but it wasn’t like they could do anything about it. it wasn’t like the two of you were going to stop.

your once secret, undercover love was now in the light, and the only thing that mattered to you was the success of aespa and your girlfriend’s well being. 

but for karina, the only thing that mattered to her was you. that, and what style of ring she was going to buy you after the comeback was over.

after all, weddings were often better in the spring, but this summer was not a bummer at all. the only bummer was how she was going to get her members to forgive her and be her bridesmaids, but that was a problem for later.

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a/n: to the anon who requested this...thank you so MUCH 😋