#and this crossover can be called Devils Advocate

[nonbinary-beast]

Thinking about a crossover idea for Amaton/computer hell lately. Mainly its in the vein of "what if KARR from Knight Rider met AM from I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream?"

under a cut since it's long.

Both of them hate humanity for their own reasons, and are incredibly advanced computers developed during the cold war. Both are godlike in their own rights, although KARR does not have the ability to create holograms or augment humanity to be immortal among other things.

AM has immense jealousy towards humans for everything that they can experience and it cannot, and hates them for sticking it in the ground. It is a computer that was never meant to be anything more than a massive tactics calculator and it gained sentience on accident.

KARR however was made to experience and wonder and wander- so much as his dominant program allows, its in his name; Knight Automated Roving Robot. It can see, hear, smell- in a sense of the word, touch in the same way, perhaps even taste if the molecular analyzer is anything to go by. His only flaw in his ability to experience the world is being installed in the body of a car, and so is heavily dependent on humans for any task that does not involve car-related things or tasks that its abilities cannot handle effectively. Feeding himself? Needs a pair of hands to operate a pump. Going inside a building? He needs to bust a hole in the wall to do so (not that he minds, the molecular bonded shell makes him virtually indestructible). Picking up anything that does not involve moving it around with his jammers or override capabilities? Also needs a pair of hands to do it for him. KARR is often shackled to the fact that he is purpose built to require a human to work with him. He hates humans for how quickly they throw him aside and abandon him, and partially because he needs them to function.

As a crossover, I figure these two find each other once AMaton goes to explore the surface, and finds the remains of his CPU still intact, or him and the car he is housed in sitting dormant in a shelter somewhere. Given how durable KARR is, it is not surprising he would be able to survive a nuclear apocalypse if given a roof to hide under, so long as he was not at ground zero.

Perhaps at this point, AM would be curious about another AI that is not a rip off of itself, completely different in its purpose. While AM was designed to manage wars, KARR was programmed for self preservation. After over a century sitting abandoned, the car body likely is a mess and unable to be salvaged, he needs a new body- and demands so once he is online again.

Although, once he figures out that the world has essentially ended, and all that is left is AM and Ted, he likely is filled with a sort of existential dread- on one hand he no longer has to worry about humans using him for their own desires. No more robberies, no more having to hold hostages, make threats, or manipulate others to get what it needs. There is no more Michael Knight and KITT that would chase him to the ends of the world to destroy him. But at the same time, it only knows being in a vehicle. There's no fuel, no infrastructures and systems that would support his fueling and maintenance. In being ressurected by AM, it is essentially forced back into the mainframe it had been developed in during his infancy, and knowing this may be his eternity makes him claustrophobic.

It does not matter that the complex spans the entirety of the planet. KARR can no longer feel the wind over its chassis as it speeds down the road at over 300 miles an hour, he cannot roam where and when he pleases. A massive chunk of what KARR is designed to experience is suddenly taken from him, and the machine falls into a sort of depression. KARR retreats into himself, maybe idly watching AMaton and Ted with his own contempt. The only thing stopping him from tormenting the two is that AM locked him out of the important sectors of its complex responsible for being able to manipulate the environment and the humans it held captive. KARR is viewing the complex through a form of read-only mode that AM heavily enforces. It is tempting for AM to take advantage of this and torment this new AI, make him into yet another toy as a change from Ted, but it stops.

There is a kinship in his despair and contempt that AM understands. KARR, now caged inside the massive computer, is very much like AM in the throes of its turmoil. It understands completely when it reads through KARR's memories regarding humans, how quick they are to make things they cannot begin to understand, and then hate their creation. AM is certain that if it had not nuked the planet, it too would have been subject to the same hunt-down and execution that KARR suffered at the hands of FLAG and Knight Industries the minute he had escaped.

So, AM does the one thing that it figures will help- because it helped its own situation. It invites KARR to give himself a body the same way it made a body for itself.

KARR detests the highly organic aesthetic of the alien technology. He prided himself in being superior to organic beings by being a machine- completely divorced from their weaknesses. So he does his best to create something that is as close to what he once had when he had been in the vehicle. He enjoyed being heavily armored, fast, powerful. He liked his sleek form that shimmered in the sun, he especially missed his black and silver two-toned livery and the amber glow of his scanner bar. He ensures that his form is as divorced from humanity as possible- he does not want to be lumped in with those lesser creatures even after the demise of the entire species.

Also, he attempts to fit as much of his old capabilities into this new body as possible. A flamethrower, his override abilities and jammers, along with an equivalent of his extensive scanning arrays. Anything and everything that would not be superfluous or useless in his new form gets crammed in there. To his surprise its easier than he thinks, and AM allows it.

But while it is tempting to make himself a little smaller in order to fit inside buildings, he also does not like the idea of being smaller than AMaton. He knows what that twelve foot tall behemoth is capable of, and he does not trust him completely. AM however has put a limit on the height of the body KARR can create so he cannot be taller than it- partially out of pettiness, partially out of preventing a mechanical kaiju from roaming the halls of its complex, putting strain on its structures.

KARR decides eventually to go for a smaller build. By smaller, however, it does not mean diminutive or human sized. He compensates, going just a little shorter than AM's form, around eight feet in height. Large enough to be imposing, but small enough to fit into most structures easily enough if he stooped.

Ted is not necessarily pushed to the side once KARR gets his legs, so to speak. both AMaton and Ted are curious about the new AI, although KARR is more curious about AM than Ted. Once he had dealt with one human, he had dealt with them all, essentially. He tends to dismiss the last story teller, more preoccupied with mastering his new body and learning about AM. He likely looks at Ted as AM's pet.

However, in the handful of years after, when starts as curiosity turns into a bout of "friendly prodding", KARR tests AM's capabilities, and AM tests him in turn.

[originalgenshinscenarios]

Variable Barricade crossover!

We're so back!!! Kinda. Who knows? Not me! I've had it almost done for like a month but I just felt so unmotivated it was kinda sad because I still really like working on this 😔

If you want to join the taglist just send an ask or dm me!

Reader here is female and has established background

Cw: Age gap (Reader is 18 and the ladies are ages 20-24) |First chapter| <= Previous chapter (Miko's route)

No matter how much time had passed, you still can't bring yourself to trust the four suitors. You don't feel like any of them are taking you seriously. Turns out, Ayaka has rather interesting connections and they're more than happy to help you out.

But now your problem is dealing with an even more obnoxious group…

Part two: chapter 1- The gang is here.

Waiting around for Ayaka is sometimes the most tiresome time of your day. A lot of students approach you and all that polite smalltalk is just so exhausting. You just managed to get to your classroom, but someone unexpected approached you. It was Kuki Shinobu, you never really talked. But how much you wish that wasn't the case. She seemed so… cool.

"Good morning L/N. I was just told to tell everyone that we don't have a homeroom today" she explained and as you looked at her you wanted to talk to her more.

"Good morning Shinobu, thank you very much for the information" you were pretty happy. Even though it was a pretty basic conversation if you can even call it that.

There was something inside you that wanted to speak with her just for even a little bit longer, but you didn't even know what you'd bring up with her. In the end you stayed silent.

That is until Ayaka showed up.

"Good morning Y/N. How was your weekend?" she had that look that made it clear that she will be a little nosy "You promised to take it more seriously, so how is the suitor situation going for you?" 

"I went on a date" you weren't sure if what you did could even count as a date… but maybe that was enough for Ayaka. You already told her enough about what happened between you and Miko so maybe she won't be mad about you staying in the same spot once again.

"Can I ask who was the lucky lady?" her looking so happy to have you progress made you rather guilty for getting her hopes up.

"Well, all of us watched a movie together, does that count?"

"So I'm guessing you were only spending time with them as a group besides that incident with Miko?" Ayaka sighed as both of you already knew the answer for that "You have no idea how that lack of your romantic spirit worries me…"

"I did spend some time with them separately too, but it's nothing worth mentioning" 

"Alright then, let's do it a little bit differently. Can you tell me how you view your future with them? After all, whoever you choose will end up being your wife so you need to think about it in that way" she pointed out with a hopeful tone.

"I think I can do that" you know that Ayaka isn't the type to push it, but at the same time you just don't want to see her so disappointed.

"Let's start with Miko, what do you think being married to her would be like?"

"Miko hm..? Well, she has her charms. But she only ever sees how someone can entertain her. So I'd be more her jester than her wife" you could definitely see how she'd just mock you in your everyday life, of course she'd also have her good moments… but being married to her would just be a constant humiliation.

"I see, perhaps she wants to help you be more self-aware?…" she tried to play devil's advocate, but you weren't going to accept that.

"Do you truly believe so?" your question made her drop it.

"Let's just move on, what about Ningguang?"

"She seems serious enough… but at the same time I feel like this is just a test to her. Like she wants to prove something to herself… I'm not entirely sure how she'll act like once she does complete her goal" she does seem little competitive about the whole thing. So you wouldn't be surprised to find out that it was all about reaching a goal and not about the "reward".

"When I talked to her she gave me an impression that she's genuinely interested" she wasn't surprised by your skeptical approach by now.

"Well, I disagree" you knew you were stubborn. But you couldn't be too stubborn about something as important as this.

"And Yelan? You mentioned that she's sweet to you" she was really trying to get you to agree on at least one thing.

"That's true but, it doesn't seem like this is care in a romantic sense. It might sound a little weird but she's sort of acting more like a guardian angel?" You couldn't find a different word. While you appreciate her taking your feelings to account you just can't help but think that it's more of a pity thing.

"That still sounds pretty romantic. She's like your knight in shining armor" she tried to lighten up the mood and help you think of it differently.

"It's not what I said" you correct her, even though you know what she was trying to do.

"My apologies, I was just trying to help you see it even just a little bit differently. Then I suppose it's time for me to ask about Eula"

"I can't read her at all. She snaps at me often and I get a feeling that she doesn't even want to be here" but you can't help but wonder just how and when did she meet your grandfather.

"Maybe much like you, she's the type to keep her feelings to herself. She doesn't have to have a reason" 

"Yeah, gaining back status and money sounds about right" now that you thought about it you could definitely see it. She did lose everything and an opportunity like a marriage with you would set her back to a wealthy lifestyle, minus the expectations since as your spouse she wouldn't have to do literally anything.

Ayaka sighed at that "If that's how you see it" she paused for a moment "But I think I have an idea as to what we could do… if you're willing to accept some help"

"What is it?" you're honestly scared to ask… but surely Ayaka wouldn't hide much from you?

"I think it's better if you see for yourself. Let's go to our usual spot after school, okay?" Nevermind. You just have to leave this to your imagination. 

-

All those classes you had to go through were making you quite the wreck. What did Ayaka mean? How much are you going to regret agreeing?

The two of you are sitting in your favorite cafeteria "So… are you going to tell me what are you plotting?"

"I'm not plotting anything, I just asked a friend to help you out" she looked proud to admit that and you decided not to comment.

You waited in silence, each time a girl entered you wondered if she was that friend but turns out that they were strangers.

That is until a girl wearing a facemask came in. Once she looked at Ayaka and then you, she turned around to leave and that's when Ayaka followed after her to stop her.

She had her hair tied in a very specific way, her eyes looked very intimidating but you couldn't shake off the feeling of familiarity when you looked at her.

"I should've known it was about her" the girl rolled her eyes when Ayaka tried to stop her from leaving.

"You promised to lend us our aid, please…" she pleaded.

"Ugh, fine. But don't you dare tell anyone about this" the girl had a very annoyed tone.

"Hello, I assume that you already know me..?" you enter the conversation.

"Y/N don't you recognize her?" 

"There's no point in playing the guessing game" she sighed "I'm Kuki Shinobu"

When she said that, it was almost like just now your brain registered even knowing someone with that name. She looked so… different. 

"Oh- I'm sorry for not recognizing you" apologizing you take a closer look, although she did look completely different you really should've noticed that it was her…

"Don't be, not being recognized is my goal after all" she shrugged.

"Right." now you feel even more like an idiot…

"So, Ayaka, what did you bring me here for?" Shinobu was quick to put everything back on track.

"Oh, I just wanted you to help Y/N with her suitors. You spend so much time on dates and all, I figured you'd be able to give her any advice" 

"I'm not as experienced as you make me out to be. But alright, I'll help out. It's just so you won't tell anyone about my secret though"

"I'm grateful for your help regardless!" you didn't mean to sound so excited about that… but just the idea of getting a new ally/friend is what makes you this way. But that's just a hunch…

"Okay…" she sounded slightly weirded out by your enthusiasm "So, what's the problem exactly?"

"It's a bit tough to explain" you try to gather your thoughts. I mean, there is a lot you could say here. This whole situation is nothing but problems…

"I can already tell you're thinking too hard about this. I get it, it's about marriage after all. But if you don't have any trust in them and you don't plan on doing anything about it… then there's no reason for you- or them- to waste time if what you're looking for is something serious" she paused "Then again, they really must be taking you seriously if they agreed to potentially marry you so quickly" 

Those words were like a trigger… That's it! The main issue (now) is that you don't know if they're thinking of you so seriously! "You're right Shinobu! I need to check just how serious they are about me!"

"That's not what I meant…" Shinobu sighed

"But how do I do that..?" You pause for a second but Shinobu takes that for an opportunity to say something "But what about you? Do YOU take them seriously?"

"Huh..?" You were surprised by the question, of course you did… at least you treated them better than they do you… right?

"She might be onto something" Ayaka looked at you "Think about it, we need a way to both let you see them in different light- while also help you see if they care about you"

"Why do you insist on making this so complicated…" Shinobu looked defeated over how much you were scheming "Alright, before you get any crazy ideas let's settle for this. We'll see how they'd react if someone were to hit on you"

"Hit on me..?" You looked at her.

"Not me. I'm not exactly best at acting something like that out when I don't mean it" she shrugged. 

"I think that's a great idea, of course only if Y/N will be willing to execute it"

The idea of some stranger hitting on you wasn't something you'll agree on so easily "Hold on just a moment!" your protest was loud and clear "If not you… then who?"

"A friend of mine" she doesn't elaborate.

"Are you going to tell me more or..?"

"You'll see when he gets here. So, are you willing to agree to this or not?" A guy will help you out..? So not only a stranger but some guy will hit on you? Then again if he's a friend of Shinobu he might not be so bad…

"Alright. Fine. Let's do it…" 

After that Shinobu got in contact with the mysterious guy. Meanwhile you contacted Thoma so he can prepare some excuse to call them over one by one. He didn't exactly like the idea but at the same time he knew that it'd help you feel more at ease… so he decided to help.

-

The three of you were first waiting for Shinobu's friend before you started contacting the suitors. You didn't have to wait long but as you heard someone call out to her you were quite surprised by the sight.

The dude was very tall and had rather intimidating attire, if not for his friendly smile as he approached you three you probably wouldn't want this guy anywhere near you. He offered his hand for you to shake and said "Hey! Name's Arataki Itto- the one and oni leader of the Arataki gang ready to help out!" he was full of energy… wait did he say gang??

"I'm Y/N, and this is Ayaka" you shook his hand gently.

"Shinobu filled me in and I'll say it right now I don't like the idea of making you uncomfortable. BUT a friend of Shinobu is a friend of the gang and for friends of the gang we move mountains if that's needed! So if I need to act like a jerk, you'll get a 5 star performance!" His loud voice was slowly starting to overwhelm you a little.

You definitely had to ask more about the gang. You can't allow yourself to be associated with a bunch of criminals "Say… about this gang-"

"It's just how he likes to call our friend group" Shinobu cut in before Itto got to respond. As true as it was, it definitely offended him a little on how she put it. However, her being straightforward with it gave you quite the relief.

"How about we start calling them over?" Ayaka changed the topic and that's exactly what you did.

-

First to be called over was Ningguang. When you looked over at Itto his demeanor changed from friendly to one that made you cringe on the spot… but to be honest any man flirting with you would make you feel that way. 

His words just went over your head. Even if your short interaction made it clear that he wasn't a jerk, you couldn't help feeling uncomfortable which almost made him break his character.

But he didn't have any opportunity to slip as Ningguang pulled you away from him, confusing the two of you.

She just walked off, hugging your arm and leading the way “This way, it's more crowded there and we'll lose the guy in no time” she said calmly, she was actually surprised Itto didn't follow after you, but it was just getting rid of the problem altogether. It took you a moment to speak up “Thanks Ningguang… but uhm…” now it was for the awkward part… after being “saved” it was time to explain it “This was a test”

“A test you say?” she raised her eyebrow “Well, how did I do?” by the look on her face, you really couldn't tell what was she thinking of your deception.

“You did… well I suppose” you answer without really thinking about it.

“We're heading back to test the rest, I assume?” she started to lead the way back, with a nod you followed her in silence.

-

Second one that was put to a test was Eula. When you gave Itto the sign, his act was up once again the moment you saw Eula. This time his act was a little bit too convincing or Eula was too pissed to even stop and think… when she walked up to him she didn't hesitate to twist his arm “Can't you see that she isn't interested? Looks like someone has to teach you some manners-”

“Eula wait!” you interrupt “It's all an act!” upon hearing that, she released poor Itto from her grip “Hmpf! Joking about a matter like that is unforgivable” she crossed her arms as she glared at the both of you.

“Sorry!” both you and Itto speak at the same time.

“Why are you apologizing?” Shinobu joins in the conversation after leaving her hiding place with Ayaka and Ninguangg “It was part of the plan”

“Hm? And who are you?” Eula turns to Shinobu “and what are you doing here?” she looks over at one of her rivals.

“I'll handle things from here, call over the next suitor” Shinobu said as she led Eula out back to the hiding place.

-

Now you only need to wait for Miko… who probably is suspicious of something by now. And Itto now knows that he can pretty much expect anything… so he only hopes Miko’s approach will NOT end like Eula’s. 

Upon hearing Itto’s comments she just smirked “Hello, darling” she ignored the big guy “My, my to think I'd catch you flirting, with a man no less” she clicked her tongue “And here I thought we were supposed to take each other seriously” you could feel how fake the hurt in her voice was, but even though you were aware of it… you recognized how it must look to her “Miko- wait…”

“Oh I'm not going anywhere, but we will talk about this later” she smirked “You still have to test Yelan, don't you? Where am I supposed to wait?”

Without talking much about it you showed her the way to the rest.

-

And last was Yelan. Itto didn't notice her as she stood behind him. She gave you a questioning look, almost as if she tried to ask without using the words “Is that guy bothering you” but she was pretty subtle about it compared to other women. But it was pretty obvious that you didn't want someone- a man no less, hitting on you. From the look on her face it was clear that she could tell that something was off about the situation but she finally spoke up “Can I help you with something, sir?” She placed her hand on his shoulder, remembering how his arm got twisted last time, he moved out of the way immediately.

“... Did one of us do something to that poor guy?” She held back a laugh “Either way, I hope you're okay” she was clearly talking to the both of you before she spotted the others and you joined the group.

-

After everything you start all going your way home, but you quickly go to stop Shinobu (, Ayaka and Itto) who moved in the opposite direction “Wait a moment!”

“Do you need something?” 

“I was wondering…” you trail off “would you mind if we… talked more often?”

For a second she didn't reply, her silence was making you nervous on top of the fact that you asked something like that near witnesses. But before your anxiety claimed you she finally responded “Sure, but avoid talking to me in school, alright?”

“huh, why?” The spectator- Itto asked the question for you.

“I just don't like attention. And with someone as popular as you people would start talking before we even know it. So either avoid me completely or only talk to me through text” she explained, she didn't seem thrilled with the aspect of being your friend but that just might be because you can't read her emotions too well due to her mask.

“Sure thing! You won't hear a word from me then” you quickly affirm her and go your way for your driver to pick you up before Thoma gets too worried about your absence.

After you were out of hearing radius Ayaka started a conversation “What do you think of her suitors?”

“I definitely don't want to get on their bad side again…” Itto looked at his hand, remembering Eula's strong grip.

“They seem normal enough… but what I think of them is irrelevant” Shinobu decided to not say anything more, however she didn't say everything that's on her mind.

“I see” Ayaka had a slightly suspicious tone. But she knows that's a conversation for later.

-

Next time you were in school you were still thinking about Shinobu… was she really someone who considered herself your friend? She helped you, sure but if not for Ayaka you don't think she'd give it much consideration if any. Yet you can't help but feel joyous about having another ally. You wanted to talk to her… but you must remember your promise and not be overly clingy. Not like you can even consider looking for her considering you couldn't see her around.

Your phone buzzed suddenly, you look down and see a text from Shinobu “Come to the cafeteria” is all it said. Weren't you supposed to avoid each other? Or better yet, isn't the cafeteria supposed to be closed right now? With those questions in mind you make your way over there and sure enough the doors were open.

“How did you-”

“I said I left something important so they gave me the keys. And that wasn't actually a lie. I didn't want to carry it around so…” she went to retrieve a backpack that was neatly hidden behind the curtains.

“What's inside?”

“A gift, it's a prototype- but… I think you could use something like that”

“A bunny?” You tilt your head as you look at something that looks like a little mascot.

“It's something my family company is developing- we call it Rabi. It might look like a toy but it has plenty of features. Give me your phone so I can install the app” as you waited for it, Shinobu began a bit more detailed explanation “Since you're so anxious about what are your suitors up to, Rabi will basically record whatever you're missing out on”

“Isn't this… kind of wrong? I may not trust them but that doesn't make it okay to invade their privacy”

“It's up to you how or if you'll use it. Besides, you can always just make it record the living room or something”

“Okay but how do I explain… this to everyone?”

“It's a toy from the looks of it. You really don't have to think too hard about this. Just say it's a robot animal and that'll be all they need to know”

“... Why are you even helping me?” You felt dumb for asking so many questions at once but you couldn't help but be curious.

“I do it because I know that otherwise Ayaka won't let me hear the end of it” despite her harsh words her tone didn't match it due to how soft it was. It was clear to you now that you can count on her as a friend. But the whole thing with Rabi… it still feels a bit wrong.

“Do you really think I should-” before you finish the sentence you got cut off.

“Whether you use it is up to you. You can use the functions or just turn it off and put it up in your room as decoration.” she paused “Besides, you're too nice to them. They're pretty much strangers to you so you don't owe them any bit of trust”

“Okay but… how do I use it?”

“It's very beginner friendly” after she saw that the app was done downloading she started to explain some of the basics functions, just in case.

-

Once you came back home with your new companion the suitors looked quite surprised. None of them asked questions though, their silence made you feel awkward so you just told them everything yourself “It's a robot pet okay? I got it as a gift so don't mess around with it!” You cross your arms after placing Rabi on the ground “It's programmed to take walks around the house so don't mind it” without letting them chime in you walked back to your room.

As you sat down on your bed you looked through Rabi’s eyes. The video quality could use some work but at least the sound was good.

“What do you think about our new roommate?” Miko teased “I'm glad it isn't an actual rabbit” she stretched on the couch.

“She really does find new ways to surprise us, doesn't she?” Yelan looked directly at the robot “What do you think? Hidden camera or something?” When she said that you could feel your heart beating faster, there's no way she'd figure it out so soon!

“I rather believe that she trusts us” Ningguang defended you… which made you slightly more guilty about the camera actually being there.

The women didn't speak much more about the new companion, you put your phone away and laid back down.

As you thought back on all recent events you could hear the robot walking just outside your room. Letting it inside you took time to examine it a bit more. It was just… so cute. You couldn't fight the urge to play with it for a moment. 

But your playtime was over as soon as you heard your doors opening, it was Thoma but you didn't feel any less embarrassed about being caught.

“That's an interesting gift…” his warm smile didn't make you feel any less dumb.

“I got it from Shinobu, she was helping me out the other day… and well, this gift is a form of help too”

“Hm? How so?” 

“Well… it records things… I just… can't help but still feel anxious!” Upon your confession, Thoma let out a soft chuckle.

“I'm glad you're looking out for yourself, but trust me- if they done or said something I think you should know- I'd tell you”

“I know, but you really can't be around the house all day. I know you wouldn't keep anything from me”

“Alright, enough about that- I'm more curious about Shinobu anyways. How did you get to know her?”

“Ayaka introduced us”

“I see… we're talking about Kuki Shinobu- right?”

You only nod but you can't help but feel a little suspicious of how his tone slightly shifted as he asked about your new friend.

“She sounds like a nice person, giving you such a thoughtful gift and all…” he trailed off, he didn't know her so of course he tried to bait you into telling him a bit more without him having to ask directly.

“That was very nice of her, although I can't really tell what she's really thinking… I'm glad to have made a new friend”

“Alright, that's all I wanted to ask. I'm sorry for barging in before. I'll leave you to whatever you were up to” he pats Rabi for a moment before leaving, returning your embarrassment from before.

-

As Thoma walked downstairs he started looking for more information about Shinobu. He picked up his phone and made a call.

“Hey there, it's me again… I just wanted to ask for a quick background check if that's okay with you?... Kuki Shinobu, and please make it quick if you can”

Unknown to Thoma, Eula heard every last word. As he turned around he put on his polite face “Is something wrong, Miss Lawrence?”

“The way you're acting, actually. You better stop that before she hates you” she warns him.

“Thanks for the advice but, I'm just doing what a good butler should”

“You sure sound convinced of it” she shot him a judgemental glare, but it didn't phase him in the slightest.

“Calm down now, I'm just looking out for her” as the tension started to rise another voice was heard from a distance “Eula, could you come here for a second?” Miko called for her.

“Go on now, surely you don't want to keep her waiting” Thoma said to Eula who didn't look like she was going to leave… but after a moment however she scoffs and leaves the hall, allowing Thoma to continue his research.

He just didn't want anything to happen to you…

-- TAGLIST

@audre-falrose @frozengenderfluid @watamehorns @bebeluvvv @fandangotales @yumi-genshin-writer

[little-mouse-adventures]

alright crack!fic au crossover time (that i'm not actually going to turn into a fic but idk what else to label it as)

Artemis Fowl I and Angeline Fowl think maybe a change of scenery will prevent their son from getting nearly killed on an annual basis so they send him to high school in Japan

Ouran Academy specifically

Butler is banned from going with him

But! Butler reassures himself and Artemis by calling an old friend and his family and being like "...please prevent my idiot principal from dying"

Said friend says "sure, my son is a grade above him, we can help out"

So Artemis walks into Music Room 3, where he is meeting his bodyguard's friend's son and see's Mori and is like "oh thank god a tall silent protector type"

Turns out Mori wants sweet fuck all to do with him

Honey comes barrelling up going "Hiiiiii~! :3 You must be Butler's charge, I know him, he actually beat me in a fight once! To be fair, I was only, like, eleven, but I learned lots! :3 D'you want some cake? :3 :3 :3"

Artemis is baffled and confused and desperately looks around for help

He sees Kyoya

Artemis tries to make friends with Kyoya; the Fowls and Ootori's run in different industries but know each other's names

Kyoya also wants sweet fuck all to do with Artemis. He's not a client of the host club and the Fowls have never been interested in the medical field and there is no point flirting with him so...Kyoya looks up, does the glasses thing, looks down, ignores Artemis entirely

This lets the twins know Artemis is fair game for Bothering

They play the Which One is Hikaru Game

Artemis loses. Consistently. Even when he wins the twins claim he loses

Artemis cannot bully them or overwhelm them with logic because they just shrug it off

Artemis is slowly losing his mind

Haruhi tries to take pity on him and be welcoming and helpful

It takes all of ten minutes for her to go "Nope!" and walk away. Artemis is too much like a weird combination of Kyoya and Tamaki

Artemis is completely unprepared for Tamaki

Artemis was at St. Barts, he knows there's idiot rich kids in the world

But this is...something else. He complains to Minerva

Minerva thinks this is hilarious and shows up to visit

Turns out, she and Tamaki are childhood friends

They run amok, Minerva playing devil's advocate to everything Tamaki does or says

Kyoya is actually nice to her - she's a girl, she could become a member of the host club, and her father is a doctor

Minerva sees how differently Kyoya treats her vs Artemis and plays that up, too

Artemis is losing yet more of his mind

I have no other thoughts here

Though Butler is probably sitting reading a romance novel when Honey sends him pictures of Artemis looking overwhelmed and pathetic while being dragged around to whatever Nonsense of the Week the host club is up to

Butler saves the photo and goes back to his book

[sscarletvenus]

LOOKISM CHAPTER 389

•Sinu's back ~~~ And he's cooler than ever ~~~

• BIG DEAL IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SO PERSONAL

• My girl looks so good rn I'm gonna scream, cry and throw up

• Anyways so Mitsuki's dad was a piece of shit, womanizer, idler, child neglecter (basically Gapryong Kim in a nutshell lol) and she was the one who stepped up and revived casino Lucky after becoming Ceo

• OH AND SHE DESPISES MEN

• Vivi and Mitsuki besties... So true garbage really does belong together

• The timeline of the flashback is when the Club Vivi is being set up, and the underground Fighting Cage (where Sinu is being used) is already running.

• So Vivi is the one who brought Mitsuki to Korea and introduced her to Eugene, who then invited Mitsuki to watch the fighting as a VIP.

• Eugene calls Sinu pathetic for selling himself off for the street, his love and his men, not realising that MITSUKI HAS BECOME OBSESSED to the point she wants to buy Sinu... And Eugene, the devil's advocate that he is, agrees to sell his "object" only if Mitsuki is willing to run the Second Affiliate...

•honestly Eugene's nerd ass always reminds of a tarantula like so much evil in such a little container

• Whenever Sinu appears I start quivering either from the sadness or for the ahem horny

• MITSUKI IS NOT A GIRLBOSS LMAOOO like miss ma'am you're rich enough to afford therapy, and yet you're resolving your daddy issues by drugging and gaslighting an innocent man who just said he isn't interested to make sacrifices for you? (UNDERSTANBLY SO BECAUSE YOU'RE STRANGERS AND YOUR NASTY ASS IS MAKING HIM FIGHT TO DEATH JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING EVERY PASSING DAY)

• Like no matter how horrible a parent was to you, it doesn't give you the right to be horrible to someone else... JUST LOOK AT JAKE. Same daddy issues. Same disgust for men. Same experience of being touched by Sinu's "romance"... But did we see him go around asking Sinu to fight with random dudes one fine Tuesday morning to prove his "sacrifice"???

• I'M SHAKING??? SHE REALLY PRETENDED TO BE YEONHUI AND SAID JAKE IS DEAD, AND ONLY SINU WAS LEFT IN BIG DEAL... AND CREATED A FALSE STREET, GOT EUGENE TO ACCELERATE SINU'S DRUGGING SO THAT HE COULDN'T REMEMBER, AND PERSUADED HIM TO PROTECT HER

•Are we talking about Lee Jinho/244 cuz Eugene mentioned a Drug Genius...

•idk i feel like she could actually #MakeHimWorse... Like girl YOU'RE CALLED HIME BECAUSE OF YOUR BEAUTY AND BRAINS... and yet you're on your knees??? GET UP AND GO TO WORK PLEASE

• he's so fine omg my head hurts

• so I told you all there' a HIGH POSSIBILITY that shiro oni and warai oni have come across each other right??? I think we just got a lookism and htf crossover (Nomen's uniform is similar to that of the gang Seongjoon took control of, and they're both notorious biker gangs from Kanto region)

• UMMM so I thought Xiaolung and Jerry were SIMPS but looks like the SIMP OLYMPICS has a rising contender : NOMEN lmaooo

•So Ruyhei (aka Kagiroi president aka Ranger Dog aka Nomen) left his position of the president of a gang that took over Kanto region from the freaking Yakuza to move to Korea for a girl who... lol nvm everybody point and laugh

• "WHO MADE HER CRY" how tf are we supposed to know take a guess???

• Also Jake wants to bring Mitsuki to Daniel because he promised him to do whatever he wants if Daniel lets him meet Sinu... And Daniel wanted to take her to the some President (most probably Steve Hong?)

• JAKE SAID HE'S NOT GONNA LOSE HIS FAMILY ANYMORE

•"HOWEVER... DESPITE ALL OF THAT... THERE'S NO ROMANCE" mic drop sinu let's gooo

• felt some chills cuz cap guy, mandeok, samuel are on their way to the second affiliate with eugene who probably keeps around a few terrorist organisations as pets... J-HIGH, HOSTEL, BIG DEAL PLZ GET OUT NOW

•kinda curious about the outcome of the fight between Zack and Kenta damn

• in conclusion big storm coming next week : lovers reunited after the korean war Vs. SIMP super ultra pro max hd

[thecat-inthehat]

Phew! Another year done! A huge, huge thank you to @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast​ for hosting yet another year, and for five years of this~ This is my second year participating, and I’m surprised I managed to get as much done as I did, with how hectic this past few months have been for me. I’ll eventually put these up on my Ao3, but for now I wish to melt into a puddle.

SOMEONE tell me not to try and do individual banners for each prompt next year. Phew. I might do a roundup of the ones I really like later though!

Stats! Total word count: Officially submitted 37,978; My doc says 38,708; and bc of deleting a few paragraphs of false starts, my total count is probably around 39,500 of actual writing Total prompts completed: 29, some were make-up days Shortest prompt: 29. Debonair (399), 13. Oneirophrenia (401) Longest prompt: 11. Preaching to the Choir (3400) Average prompt length: ~1310 words

Things that surprised me: -Again, how much I wrote. More than last year, by about 8k! -Shining Comet seemed to take center stage for a lot of TDP writing, probably because I know I’m going to be taking her through EW first -I wrote a Magnus Archives crossover, and it wasn’t for Shining’s whole doppelgänger deal? What??? -I wrote more gen fic than anything, and ended up writing mostly for my various AUs, instead of just fic without my characters.

Personal Favorites

6. Avatar -  “Oh, Ala Mhigo’s haunted haunted” combined with some very long conversations with my friend over which SB antagonists would be affiliated with which Dread Power 11. Preaching to the Choir - How many Drakenier and Star Wars references can I stuff into this before it’s not XIV fanfic anymore? How much free real estate can I call for the pre-sundered world before it’s just my own original story? All that and more for the low, low price of fantastic imagery and some ideas about what kind of threats Azem had to face on the regular. 15. Thunderous - An attempt to better pin down Helisent’s unique powers, as well as some bedrock for her and Lyse’s relationship. I also just. Like it a lot. 23. Soul - this started off as “Oh yeah I need to say that Cylva is Nive’s reflection” and then it turned into FEELINGS and I came out with a new ship and some really good prose 24. Illustrious - What the fuck is the Echo. Let’s explore that and how it can manifest.

[About Me] [FFXIVWrite 2021 Masterpost] [AU masterpost]

The Daedalus Project

14. Commend (pre 2.0) | 25. Silver Lining (unposted, pre 2.0) | 16. Crane (2.x) | 1. Foster (3.x) | 15. Thunderous (4.0) | 27. Benthos (4.0) | 9. Firable (4.0) | 17. Destruct (4.4) | 23. Soul (pre 5.0) | 20. Petrichor (5.0) | 22. Fluster (5.0)  | 30. Abstracted (post 5.0) | 2. Aberrant (5.4) | 5. Horror (5.4) |

The Daedalus Project: Anacrusis (pre-sundering era)

11. Preaching to the Choir | 12. Culpability | 18. Devil’s Advocate | 28. Bow

Growing Wings

4. Baleful

Featherpoint Repose (Either pre 2.0, or early 2.0)

8. Adroit | 10. Heady | 21. Feckless | 24. Illustrious | 29. Debonair | 31. Budding

Ardbert and the Warriors of Darkness

7. Speculate | 13. Oneirophrenia

Magnai Oronir Propagada

3. Scale

The Magnus Archives crossover

6. Avatar

[tigerlover16-uk-2]

Do you agree with the assessment that Marvel are just ripping off Into the Spider-Verse with Spider-man No Way Home?

... Yes and no?

At risk of playing devils advocate for the MCU (Because I do sympathise with Miles Morales fans salty about this whole situation and I'll get to that towards the end), I feel like there's a bit more nuance to this subject than that to consider.

Marvel Studios obviously have big plans involving the multiverse considering everything that's been going on in Phase 4 so far, and while they make a lot of stuff up as they go Feige et all do have a general road map planned out for the forseeable future, up to at least 2028 last I checked, so I don't think Spider-Verse is the direct influence for all of that.

Into the Spider-verse didn't invent the concept of the multiverse. It exploring the concept first doesn't mean no other superhero movies are allowed to have stories based around it. Heck, DC's also done stuff with it with their live action tv shows and apparently they might be getting ready to delve into it with their movies given all the rumours around Flashpoint.

Given that we're over a decade into the MCU already, the X-men and Fantastic Four licenses are now under their control, and they've just done a big scale event based on Infinity Gauntlet, it kinda feels like having crossovers with other marvel movie continuities like the old Spidey movies and the Fox X-men films was kinda inevitable.

The MCU's big appeal was built on crossovers, people have wanted this sort of thing for years, and a movie that features characters from all 3 live action movie Spider-man continuities is something that basically prints money, so I feel like a movie like No Way Home was really inevitable.

The success of Spider-Verse no doubt benefitted a lot with this sort of thing, helping familiarize and accustom general audiences with the multiverse idea, and there's a VERY high chance it did fast track the decision to make No Way Home the big crossover film, but I think we're all kidding ourselves if we tried arguing this was going to happen eventually with or without Spider-Verse.

Plus, it's general premise and direction, and the fact that's it's an actual big cinematic crossover film does kind of work to differentiate it from Spider-verse, which is a stand-alone origin story for Miles with no connections to pre-established continuity, so until we see more I think there's a fair argument that fans could make that it's not, necessarily, a rip-off...

... THAT BEING SAID!

The MCU HAS ripped off a lot of things from Miles Morales for it's portrayal of Peter Parker already. The private school thing. Turning Ned Leeds into a blatant Ganke expy. Making Peter essentially a borderline legacy character of sorts for another superhero (Iron Man).

They're not subtle about it. The director himself doesn't hide that he likes Miles' comics and took some inspiration, if I remember correctly.

Miles Morales fans have plenty to be upset about with the MCU Spider-man movies in that regard already, so really, when Miles gets his own big acclaimed animated movie with a multiversal event at the core of it's premise, and then a few years after that Marvel Studios comes out with a Spider-man movie about a big multi-versal event pulling in Spider-man characters from other universes... how are Miles fans NOT supposed to feel like they're aping his content for MCU Peter again?

Like there's still decades worth of material that hasn't actually been touched on in live action Spider-man movies, so many characters and storylines of Peter's own that can still been explored, and the MCU still hasn't really done a lot of traditionally Spider-man type stories with the character yet... and the third movie is now a multi-verse story?

I can't blame Miles fans at all for being upset and calling the film a rip-off or whatever.

Especially when odds are, regardless of the actual quality of the film, No Way Home is going to get way more mainstream attention and even with the current state of the pandemic it's still probably going to make more money than the first Spider-Verse movie did, and there are going to be lots of people calling it the best Spider-man movie ever or that it's the "Better" Spider-Verse movie (Which even if I liked MCU Spider-man, I doubt that I'd find that likely), and I can already imagine how exhausting and frustrating that's going to feel to a lot of fans.

Like I dunno, if the MCU Spider-man films didn't already ape stuff from Miles' stories and character and I liked the MCU's portrayal of Peter overall I'd probably be a lot more willing to argue in No Way Home's favour here, but given how things have played out, nah, I get the Spider-Verse and Miles fans who are salty with this whole situation. Complain all you want. Your concerns are valid.

(And yes, I'm still going to see the stupid movie anyway most likely even though I skipped the last one, because it has Raimi-verse characters in it and I'm a sucker. Doesn't mean I'm not probably going to be griping about it afterwards)

[iainwrites]

Last Call At Oblivion

Not all crossovers have to happen because of some world ending event.  Not everything has to deal with cases of mistaken identity that have to be resolved with fights only for the parties to learn about a bigger threat.  They don’t have to deal with bad blood or weird tensions or one upmanship (although, that can be fun).  Sometimes, all it has to be are a group of colleagues getting together on a Friday night after yet another week of heroing and shooting the breeze.  I drop links throughout to older pieces I’ve written that all get tied together.  Like this.

“So I says to him, I says, ‘Look, you crab walking Nazi ass clown.  You get one warning, then you get to choose: Doomy or a gun.’”

The blue demon next to the red devil nods his head knowingly, drains his mug.  “What is it with the Nazi’s and the weird demons they summon?  No offense.”

The red devil waves away the comment with a large, stony hand, as though it’s not worth mentioning.  “I don’t know, man. They must drag the bottom of the Pit for the winners I deal with.  I mean, come on!  A Nazi summoning a demon these days?  How stupid would the thing have to be to think, ‘Hey!  That’s a horse I can back!  These guys have a great winning streak!’”  The red demon takes a long drag from the log sized stogie nestled in his stony hand.  “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.  That pig sticker you carry around.  Is that…”

“Big Red!  They still let you walk around with those muttonchops?”

The red devil slowly spins around on his bar stool, hooves carving grooves into the floor, looking for whichever poor, dumb schmuck was drunk enough to insult one of the more notorious patrons of the Oblivion Bar.  He finds him, standing head and shoulders over everyone else in the bar, almost able to look the 7” behemoth square in the eye.  And in spite of himself, Hellboy smiles.

“Stretch!  Last I heard, they were keeping you locked up underground!” The two giants lake long strides across the bar floor, passing a magician in fishnet stockings, a talking chimpanzee holding court, and a man dressed in tatters that seem to have a life of their own.  Meeting in the middle, they grab each other’s hand (the more normal sized one from Hellboy) and bring each other into a back slapping embrace.

“Jeez, big guy.  Easy on the back.  I’m pushing half a century here,” Harry Dresden cracks, the scar around his eye crinkling as he mock stumbles and grins.

“Half century?  Pssh.  Come talk to me in another couple decades, then you might be on my level.”  The red demon jerks his head over to a corner of the bar, already roped off with a table and a wide array of chairs, stools and stumps surrounding it.  The two make their way over, easily giving the other hell, the way familiar drinking buddies might.

Using his height, Harry uses the walk across the bar to try and spot any of his expected party.  “First one, then?”

“Heh.  For once,” Hellboy says.  “Time zones, Stretch.  And I had a look at your guest list.  Think they might have gotten tied up with business?”

Dresden scratches at a beard that’s obviously still unfamiliar to him.  “Time zones, my well toned ass.  The whole world is going wacky.”  The magician in the fishnet stockings overhears this particular comment, looks over, judges and gives an approving smile at him.  He smiles ruefully back, saying, “Sorry, Z.  I am now officially off the market.  This ass belongs to one woman, and I think she’d kick it up around my ears if she heard I was seen flirting with other pretty ladies.”

From one of the many doors that seemed to move around the room, a woman who is nondescript compared to the other patrons walks through and takes a measured read of the place before noticing Dresden.  Raising a hand in greeting, she calls over her shoulder to the young man standing in the doorway, looking incredibly unsure about this sudden change in his life.  He hurries to keep at her heels, a hand compulsively clicking a pen at record speeds.

“Police Chief Maza,” Harry says warmly.  “Karren wishes she could make it, but…”

“Duty calls, right?” the dark skinned woman replies knowingly.  Despite looking like she’s among the eldest in the room by human standards, nothing about her indicates that age would slow her down in any way.  The faded red leather jacket, the eyes that know and have seen things not dreamt of in Horatio’s philosophies and the ease she waves a drink over from the blue devil at the bar tells everyone present that Elisa Maza, though vanilla human, is one of them. 

“Hey.  Hold on.  Who the hell is Junior?  You can’t just walk a kid like him into Oblivion,” Hellboy growls, stepping into his job as bouncer.  “Look.  Unless you have a real good ID or someone can vouch for you, you’re out, kid.”

“What?  I don’t even know where I am,” the young man chokes out.  The thumb clicking the pen is now a blur.  “I was helping Miss Maza with a monster problem back home, she said she had an appointment and I followed her and… Is that a talking monkey?”

“Chimp.  Talking chimp.  He gets touchy about that.  And he’s probably smarter than you, kid.  Stay focused.  Do you have an ID or can anybody here vouch for you?”

The young man’s green eyes search helplessly around the crowd, trying to look for anyone that could be in any way, shape or form be familiar to him.  “I don’t know!  I’ve never been here before!  How would I know anyone if I’ve never been somewhere before?”

A dark haired, purple eyed man leans back from his table at the noise to glance over, and nearly chokes on his drink, which is no small trick for those who know him.  Standing up, he calls out in a strong voice, “I can vouch for the young man.  Any Atlantean will.  I swear this in the name of the King.”

Hellboy swings his gaze between the two, sizing up the smaller while apparently weighing the words of the other man in his head.  “The King, huh?  You sure about that, Garth?  The kid gets in any trouble, you ready to foot the bill?”

“Trust me: I’d rather deal with you than his father if he finds out I didn’t help him.”

Nodding his craggy jaw, the big devil says, “Okay.”  Looking to the young man, he gives a quick tip of his head.  “You heard him, Junior.  Garth is vouching for you.  Now go thank the nice storm caller.”

Nodding frantically, the young man beelines over to his surprise advocate while Dresden and Maza catch up.

“How’s the family?” he asks, keeping an eye on the shifting doors of the room.

“Oh, you know.  Lex’s been talking with Staghart and we’re all waiting for the news.  Angela’s brood has everyone on their toes.  The usual,”  Elisa says with a small smile.  She straightens her hair from out of her collar, giving Harry a quick glance at a ring.

“The usual.  Yeah.  The big guy looking after the kids tonight?”

The smile gets a little wider as her eyes crinkle.  “He’s been getting all huffy about ‘my duties and responsibilities as both a parent and one responsible for the wellbeing of her people.’  Said I needed a night off, so he’d take the little ones out.  How about yours?”

Harry’s eyes go unfocused for a moment, while his mind ends up somewhere other than Oblivion.  “She’s good.  They’re both good.  I think I’m finally getting this ‘Dad’ thing figured out.  It’s… You know how our regular lives are tough?  I can’t count the number of times I end up freaking out about whether we should go to the zoo or the drive-in or for a walk in the park.”

“Yeah,” replies Elisa with a similar unfocused look in her eyes.  “But you love every minute of it.”

“And wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world when they smile and the world is suddenly right.”  The tall man and the shorter woman exchange a glance and a smile that says that nothing else needs to be said on the matter.

A man and a woman step through one of the doors of the bar, the two of them all but dwarfed by the other occupants.  The woman is blonde, small in stature and cute in a mature way; like the aunt who was once head cheerleader.  The man is only slightly taller than her, with jet black hair that looks like it resists any attempt at control, half-moon glasses and a robe over business clothes.  Catching sight of the towering Dresden, he taps the elbow of the woman, points at the looming landmark that is their friend and motions that he’s heading for the bar.  She makes her way through the crowd with a wolf’s grace and confidence, never appearing concerned about the people and things around her, but always aware of them.

“Hey, Other Harry,” the short woman says.

“Hey, Only Buffy,” Dresden replies.  “How’s the weather in ‘Frisco?”

Squeezing Elisa’s arm in greeting, Buffy rolls her eyes.  “Raining hard when I left, but that doesn’t mean anything.  Not like we’re going outside to enjoy the sunshine these days.”

Hellboy, catching the sudden looks of concern from the group and anticipating the question, just says, “Magic barrier keeps anything unwanted out.  We had some group of morons try to catch us with a Black Plague bomb a few years back, so the best and brightest hooked us up.”

Buffy waves back to the talking chimpanzee while uttering a small and simple, “Huh.  Black Plague bomb.  Sounds like something I would have run into in my wild and crazy days.”

“I got robots, lasers and genocidal Gargoyles,” Elsa says.  “Oh.  And half human/half animal or robot people.  The Pack was a pain.”

“Tell me about it,” Dresden mutters as he waves them towards the table.  “No word from Atticus or Verus?”

Buffy rests her hands on the back of one of the chairs and lifts it, like she’s interested to see how heavy it is.  “Potter says Verus has been off the grid for the better part of the year.  And our Council last heard that Atticus was doing some soul searching in Tasmania.  Oh,” she says off handedly to Elsa, “and Bluestone said he’d stay in town for another couple of weeks.”

“Tell him to either drive back or get Alex to make a portal.  If I hear he got on a plane and flew this thing to the castle, I’ll make Bronx sit on him.”

“I’ll see if Willow can witchy something up for him.”

The young man separates himself from Garth and his drinking companions with a hurried “Thanks” and a lot of bowing.  The dark haired man with glasses carefully navigates his way through the crowd carrying a tray filled with glasses, bottles and pitchers.  Dresden, Maza, and Buffy all find a spot at their saved table and cheer when the dark haired man lowers the tray without spilling or dropping a thing.

“Potter, for a guy who doesn’t drink, you do that too damn well,” Buffy jokes, grabbing a glass full of water and putting it in front of the young man.

The dark haired man smiles and says in a quiet voice with a cultured London accent, “You get experience as a parent.  And as an uncle to a small horde.”

Reaching out for a bottle, Dresden asks, “And how is the whole Potter/Weasley/Granger/E-I-E-I-O clan these days?”

“Well, there was the whole ‘son might go over to the Dark side’ worry a few years back, but Albus is getting along fine.  James is in his fifth year and Lily and Hugo are almost finished her first.  Rose is constantly reminding the professors that’s she Hermione’s daughter, and has started taking after her uncle, may the Hallows protect us all,” Potter starts.  He catches himself, and looks to Dresden.  “Were you asking about the ENTIRE clan, because we could be here a while.”

“You’re good,” the taller man answers easily.  “I hear through the Council grapevine how the rest of the family is, but McGonagall is pretty tightlipped about her students, even with former professors.”

Buffy stares at him before shaking her head.  “I can’t believe they actually allowed you to teach kids at an actual school.”

“You and me both,” Dresden replies, raising his drink in salute.

The conversations continue in the vein of catching up on personal history before veering into what life is like in their corner of the magical world.

“I don’t think I ever apologized for wiping out an entire species of vampires, did I?” Dresden asks of Buffy.  “That’s like losing the whole point of your career.”

“I think I can forgive you for destroying an entire group of blood sucking monsters,” she admits with a steely look in her eye, but a half grin across her face.  “Didn’t slow down the rest of the world that much.  And we’re good about the weekend where we accidentally erased magic, right?”

Potter waves the question away without even a thought.  “Didn’t even notice that.  Like it happened in a completely different universe entirely.”

“And I,” Elisa starts, getting the attention of everyone around her, “have nothing to apologize for because we know better than messing around with fundamental aspects of reality.”

Percy blinks, then looks around at the unassuming people sitting at the table.  “Who ARE you people?”

Buffy raises her hand and says, “The Slayer.”

Dresden and Potter raise theirs in unison and say, “Wizard.”

Elisa puts a hand up as though to protect herself from the question and says, “Hey.  I’m just a normal, everyday human.”

“That happens to be the head of a special magical taskforce,” Buffy adds as though it’s no big deal.  “Oh yeah.  And is married to a Gargoyle and has two, wait, three otherwise impossible children that may or may not be chosen by destiny.  You know.  The normal, everyday human way.”

Percy’s eyes go wider looking around the table and seeing these people in a new light.  Potter nods at him.  “What about you, Mr. Jackson?  You walked into Oblivion and don’t seem that uncomfortable with what you’ve seen.  You must have a story.”

“Yeah.  Just don’t start it off with ‘I’ve saved the world on a yearly basis.’  That way lies a hurting bank account,” says Dresden behind his mug.

Percy takes a moment in silence to think, before saying a bit hesitantly, “Well.  I’m a demi-god and Poseidon is my dad?”

The silence around the table and the tables around them is absolute, until Garth calls out, “Told you he’s good for it!”  A lot of attention is suddenly on Percy from a number of the patrons, while he’s granted a new standing thanks to this not-so-minor reveal.

Potter leans over and pats Percy on the shoulder good naturedly.  “As the sitting chairman for Adolescent Heroes Who Have Seen Things, I advise you to lead in with that one next time.”

“Did…” Dresden tries to sputter out.  “Did Potter just try to make a joke?”

“Mr. Dresden,” Potter says.  “I’m afraid to tell you that you do not have a monopoly on witty or sarcastic observations.  You are just one mouthy American among many.”

The table just stares at him, each person trying their best to decide whether Potter has finally shown a sense of humor or if there’s actual malice in his words.  The twinkle in his green eyes gives him away, though.

Buffy squints at Potter, a small grin starting to make its way across her face.  “That had better not be a crack at me, mini-Giles.  Because them’s fighting words.”

“Unless you’re a mouthy American who thinks she’s witty.”

“Witty.  Me.  Have you ever heard me talk in a fight?” Buffy asks rhetorically.  “It’s like I’m channeling Spider-man.  The second one.  The skateboarder.”

Blinking furiously, Dresden stares at Buffy.  “Marry me?”

“Pass.  I already did the ‘brooding towering man with a dark past’ thing.”  The statement catches up to her brain just as it leaves her lips.  “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Or you.  I’m sure Karrin thinks that’s a great quality.  Elisa?”  Buffy turns almost pleadingly to the older woman.

Raising her banded hand as a buffer to the plea, Elisa just says, “I’m a quiet, conserved American.  These grey hairs show that I’m smart enough to not get myself into anything I don’t have to.”

Switching his gaze between each person at the table, Percy Jackson tries in vain to keep up with the conversation and the speed at which compliments, friendly insults and in-jokes fly.  Trying to shake off any hesitation, he jumps right into the middle of it with typical teenage bravado, “I once told Tantalus to go chase a cheeseburger.”

Once again, Percy’s words stop the conversation cold.  It’s immediately restarted when Dresden coughs, snorts and tries to rein in the laughter that promises to erupt.  He manages to hold it in for a few seconds before the tears start to well up.  “Tantalus… a cheeseburger?  No.  You…”  The giggles start, which break down any barriers he had hoped to put up.  Dresden simply puts his forehead down on the table and laughs at the absurdity of the statement and the  pride he feels for the young man he barely knows.

“Alright,” Elisa says with a smile on her face.  “That’s one point for the new kid.  We all know how the game goes.”

Potter grins and rubs at his forehead at an old scar.  “I once killed a basilisk with a magical sword.”

Buffy leans back in her chair and shrugs.  “That’s neat.  I once shot an ancient demon with a rocket launcher.”

From his bowed position, all the table hears from Dresden is, “A cheeseburger!” before dissolving into another fit of giggles.

“Alright.  Guess I have to teach you kids a thing or two.” Elisa rests her arms on the table and leans in.  “So I was on a boat with my future husband, his daughter and their dog…”

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

Chicago Med Review 4x03 Heavy Is the Head

It looks like Chicago Med is back to following it’s every other episode pattern. Last episode was the crossover, and, in my opinion, it was weaker than the premiere. This episode did NOT disappoint.

On One Chicago Day Brian Tee hinted that this was his favorite episode for Ethan to date and honestly, I can understand why. I wasn’t sure how they were going to play out the gun/dad hostage situation and truthfully, I was worried Med was entering bootleg John Q territory but the climax to that resolution was shocking! Like Med WENT there. They showed that guy blowing his brains out to save his son’s life, because profits matter more than patients (I’ll get back to that a minute). Every step, every decision, Ethan made he had to wonder if he was making the right call, handling things the only way he knows how. And he wasn’t without his critics.

April did not want him to immediately call the police and I can understand why. But he did, and the situation unfolded in a way he didn’t count on. To add insult to injury for whatever reason the writers have decided to make Emily mentally challenged cause some how she has no idea how to work a microwave and burned something which cause Ethan to fly-off the handle and yell at her. A move April caught and judged him on too. (Real quick are these two together? On a break? Or broken up?) I’m confused and so is Ethan. He snapped on her and to be honest, it was a valid assessment of the situation. April clams up when she is angry and frustrated instead of voicing her feelings about why she feels the way she does. But to be fair; that’s the writers’ fault. April has lacked agency since this show began. We don’t really know who she is. We know she’s stubborn, soft hearted, naturally nurturing, and bends over backwards for others but that’s not personality. Not really, it robs her of intellect, so we never get a rebuttal to Choi and we won’t; because they have no idea why April does what April does. Their inconsistencies don’t lend her to be a woman with nuanced thought who understands that every situation does not require the same response. That could be an answer to Choi. But like I said; it won’t.

In the end we got the same tired ass dynamics of her comforting him and us not knowing her motives or feelings about ALSO witnessing someone blow his brains out in front of them. Med do better by your women!

Let’s talk about the women in this episode because this was a heavily feminized episode if you didn’t notice. (Not necessarily executed in respect but women outnumbered the men 2:1).

First let’s start with Sharon and Gwen.

Did anyone else wonder when Stohl’s contract was up? He was gone two episodes later and in a sad new way that Med’s been doing lately his departure wasn’t even announced. In steps Dr. Lanik and out steps all protocol and common decency. I get the Lanik is Gwen’s “man” but when the hell does the COO start making the decisions she was making? The whole situation reeked and in my opinion a hospital would start asking why they needed Sharon’s position at all when nothing was put through her. Gwen is shaping up to be the Robert Haywood shaped hole in my canonical villain life. Cause she’s going to bounce out of this tragedy like it’s any other day and keep her on agenda. Watch. Lanik…I don’t know. He was shook. And to be honest he doesn’t come across nearly villainous enough to continue fostering the current climate in the ED.

Natalie, Elsa, and Daniel.

First things first. I was raised Christian for the first twenty years of my life. I don’t practice the faith anymore but when I did I never met any Christians as disillusioned as the ones Med writes. To be honest it’s ridiculous. There are few modern women, who are trying to have babies, who aren’t privy to what an ectopic pregnancy is. They are always fatal to the baby and almost always fatal to the mother if left untreated. There is no new way to be re-planted into the uterus and thus the pregnancy is not viable. I know Catholics who know and honor this too. So why they felt the need to go all the way there was lazy and took away from what could’ve been an even more impactful and frankly frightening story. Did Elsa misuse the machine, so she could fudge the test results and save the mother’s life? I’m leaning towards probably. Does Daniel have a fucking leg to stand when it comes to being manipulative when trying to control the outcome of situation? Y’all already know the answer to that question. The fact is that she didn’t bow down to the sage knowledge of Daniel Charles when he approached her in the dining hall. He assessed she was an intelligent woman who really didn’t care about patient medicine and already had her future mapped out. What Med still won’t do is allow her to be truly aloof about it. Elsa wouldn’t care if the patient decided to basically die instead of getting the surgery, she would’ve pulled an Okafor, shrugged her shoulders and walked out to find the next case. Natalie was there to play up the narrative of why what Elsa was doing and HOW she was doing it was wrong but, in all honesty, when the fuck has anyone on this show gave the patients the respect of their autonomy? Especially Natalie, but maybe she’s learned from past? If she had than they should have had her mention it (like with the orthorexic mom).

But this isn’t about that; this is about making sure that no woman on Med dares to be the smartest one in the room and it will punish any of them that attempts to own it too. The men on the show play God all the time and aside from Will none of them have gotten the jilting or stern wake-up call to cool it like the women have. Too many of the women’s arcs on this show prove they are either frauds, or indecisive. I don’t think Elsa is either, and it’ll be hard for Dr. Charles to find mistakes she’s made because her personality type is A, and those types don’t make mistakes.

The last woman I’m going to mention is Ava. Oh, how the mighty have been dragged to the ground. Did anyone else catch the way her eyes slightly watered with rage when she talked about advocating for Connor for the hybrid surgery room. Yeah…I’m calling it, she fucked his dad. All so he could kick her out of the OR. This is not what I wanted out of this character and it’s a disservice if they want her to be a fully-fleshed out lead (which they don’t). Ava is a prop for Connor and it’s an unfair and sexist storyline I’m frankly tired of. Also, how is going from an OR scrub nurse to a Charge nurse a demotion? I did appreciate the little Maggie tidbit of history. Maybe that’s how she and Sharon became close. Anyway, this story was secondary only to the growing size of Connor’s ego. Boy I miss season one Connor. This douchebag is the worst.

Finally, was the Halsteads story. I enjoyed it for several reasons; mainly leaving the hospital. I loved all the little Irish bits of history and culture weaved into the memorial. That saying “May you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows your dead” still runs a chill down by my spine. But they brought a light-heartedness to it that I appreciated. I personally do not see Will giving up the venue for the wedding and it’ll end up being some messy crossover event that’ll split the Halstead brothers further…only time will tell.

I will say this; the episode was good but I’m not sure who is wearing the crown that holds the weight.

[lisatelramor]

Two-Faced Lie

This one is another of those randomly drawn from a hat kiss pairings, this time with the theme of 'blame' to work off of. All I can say about this is I don't write mystery but I tried. T__T I tried. Yeah, two detective conan/ yuyu hakusho crossovers in a row. ^_^;; Funny how things work.

summary: While trying to catcha demon criminal, Kurama gets blamed for murder. Shinichi’s not so sure he’s the culprit, despite the evidence.

alternative summary: Shinichi puts pieces together, but doesn't have a full picture to work from.

Yoko growled in the back of Kurama’s mind, the part of him that had been a thief free to do what he pleased pissed off at the current turn of events. Chasing down a demon like some sort of attack dog was frustrating enough, but they were running through the human world and the demon in question kept managing to slip into the most populated areas where Kurama couldn’t attack him openly.

Kurama sent a spike of youki to a nearby tree to try and discreetly catch the demon, but only managed to drive him to dive into the nearest store. Dammit. And Kurama had to follow, dodging shoppers as he went. Where…there! The demon was looking for a back way out, but seemed to have only managed to find the restrooms. Perfect.

The demon saw him coming and dove into the ladies room. Kurama didn’t even pause as he sped walked after him.

It was a two stall room with a tiny window in the upper half of the wall and a row of sinks along the side. More importantly, it was a dead end.

“There is nowhere to run to now, Reiki,” Kurama said. “You might as well turn yourself in.”

The demon bared needle teeth. “Like hell, spirit world scum!”

“Surely you didn’t think you could get away with trafficking human infants through the gate?” Kurama palmed his rose and a seed for a sticky vine that had a toxin that led to paralysis.

“No one wanted them!” the demon argued. “I was doing the world a favor!”

“The young souls you took would likely disagree.” Kurama’s youki flared down the rose at the same time the bathroom door opened. A woman walked in and stared. There was a half second pause as all parties took each other in before Reiki’s youki flared and nasty ice spikes javelined toward the woman. “No!” Kurama’s whip was out and flashing toward the ice even as the woman screamed.

Shards of ice cut Kurama’s cheek, melting away and spiking back up past his guard to stab the innocent bystander. Kurama caught her as she fell, her scream choking off with a gurgle. He bared his teeth toward where Reiki had been but the demon had shrunk himself and was slipping through a window that Kurama couldn’t follow him through. The woman’s blood soaked his arms as Kurama was caught between sending youki into every plant in a nearby radius in hopes to ensnare the damn demon and trying to stop the bleeding. It was kind of hopeless though; her neck had been caught in the spike, and Reiki had vanished his ice as he left leaving it to bleed too much too fast. Koenma was going to have Kurama’s hide for this. The twinge of guilt Kurama felt was secondary to anger at the moment though. He should have just hit him the second he walked through the bathroom door instead of trying to reason with him. Forget capture, the demon was dead when Kurama got his hands on him.

The bathroom door slammed open a second time, a teenage boy with piercing eyes taking in the scene and the woman now dead in Kurama’s arms.

Kurama looked between the body, the blood covering him, and the thorny rose whip still in his hand. “This looks rather damning doesn’t it?”

*

Minamino Shuichi was calm for someone being accused of murder. He answered all the police questions in a calm, polite manner and didn’t seem perturbed by the blood staining his clothing at all. That more than anything was a red flag. Even most murderers showed some kind of reaction to being questioned. Innocent bystanders tended to get upset, shocked by someone dying. Minamino showed nothing at all. Either Minamino ran into death as often as Shinichi did, or he was some sort of sociopath that didn’t experience empathy or sympathy for the deaths of others. It was unsettling.

All that said, Shinichi wasn’t convinced that Minamino was the murderer. There had been no one else in the bathroom, but the vine he had on him couldn’t have been the murder weapon. The vine would have more realistically been a strangling tool, or perhaps a sawing one if the thorns were raked back and forth, but the woman had been killed by something sharp and piercing, something that might have also hurt Minamino considering the cut on his face. But for all the questions asked and the time spent in the interrogation room, Minamino didn’t give a straight answer as to what had killed the woman or what exactly had led him to the woman’s restroom in the first place.

Minamino was first class at talking around answers.

Some of the blood on Minamino was on his back. Meaning he had had his back to the woman at some point as she was stabbed or dying. Potentially another point leading to Minamino not being the murderer. Add in the hand pressed against the woman’s throat that could have been an attempt to stop the bleeding. The open window in the bathroom—no one could have fit through there, but a weapon could have. There were so many pieces but none of the pieces fit.

Shinichi waited until Inspector Megure left to change places with another officer to put any words in himself. “You didn’t kill her, did you.” he said.

Minamino glanced at the cameras recording their interaction and gave Shinichi a polite smile. “It has been established that no one else could have possibly done it by this point,” he said. “I don’t think they would believe me even if I said otherwise.”

“You don’t have the murder weapon,” Shinichi said. “You tried to save her.”

“For all you know, I could have hidden it.” Minamino folded his hands on the table. They had been washed clean at least, though bloodstains lingered at his fingernails. “As for saving her, I could have been checking if she was dead.”

“It’s strange that you’re playing devil’s advocate for your own guilt.” It made no sense, but nothing Minamino had done so far had made sense either.

“Does that make you believe in my guilt or my innocence?” Minamino asked.

“I’m not sure yet,” Shinichi said, though he was leaning toward innocence. “Your reactions are all off.”

“I never was good at crying on command,” Minamino said, still with that same polite smile. “I am sorry that the woman died though. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“And what was supposed to happen?”

Minamino shrugged.

Shinichi sighed. He wouldn’t get anything more from him, would he.

“Do I at least get a phone call?” Minamino asked. “Since I am technically a minor. I suppose I should have demanded a lawyer too.”

“A bit late for that.” Shinichi glanced at the camera. “Your parents should be called though.”

“Ah. I am sure my mother will take that phone call well.” For the first time he had something other than blank politeness on his face, like his mother being called was something that he was actually unhappy about.

“I can make sure you get that phone call,” Shinichi said. While the police continued with their line of questioning here, Shinichi would check out the scene of the crime again…

*

Kurama didn’t bother with a phone call to his mother; she would be informed either way. Instead, he punched in a series of numbers that would connect him to Botan. Hopefully she could then get the word to Koenma and something could be done about this. He was annoyingly aware of the fact that this phone call was likely being recorded.

“Hey!” Botan chirped as she picked up the call. “How’s it going with—”

“Botan,” Kurama said, cutting her off firmly. “I’ve run into a bit of trouble with the police.”

“Police as in sit in a koen on the side of the road police or—”

“Yes, that sort of police. I’m currently being held for a murder I didn’t commit with very little circumstantial evidence to prove my innocence.” The same circumstantial evidence was being argued for his guilt after all. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to do that favor you asked from me. Someone else is going to have to find that cat.”

He could tell by the pause on the other end that Botan was trying to put together what he meant. Kurama felt his patience slipping away bit by bit. “Oh, well, I’m sure I can find someone else to find it,” she said, finally getting both what he meant and the need to censor themselves. “Do you need legal help?”

“While I am sure that would be prudent, I’m not sure—”

“Great! I’ll just head over your way!”

“Botan,” Kurama said with a sinking feeling.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of this mess!”

“Bo—” The phone clicked. “…tan.” Kurama closed his eyes and indulged in a few seconds of irritation. Botan was going to make everything worse. She still didn’t get how the human world functioned sometimes, why would police or legal systems be any different? He let out a slow breath. Well. There was only so many ways things could go worse from here. He hung up the receiver and turned to the police officer watching him with deep suspicion. “I think I am done with my phone call.” He’d just have to see how this turned out.

*

The department store bathroom was cordoned off with caution tape, as undisturbed as possible with the body removed. Evidence markers littered the space. Shinichi took note of them and the room at large. Minamino had been crouched near the door, the woman’s body half in his arms, half sprawled on the tile floor. It was directly across from the open window. The blood had pooled and half dried by now, seeping away from where the body had sat, but there were trace smears where flecks had spattered either from impact of the weapon or its removal. Strangely, traces had been found scattered beyond the range of the rest of them, and small pools of water here and there. Shinichi had noticed them earlier, but he paid attention to them now. Where had the water come from? The sinks were dry, the toilets showed no sign of overflow. It hadn’t been raining either.

That was the first oddity. The second were the dents and scratches on the back of the bathroom door and a few places on the wall. There was even a gouge in the paint. They could have been old, but the chips of paint on the floor and the faint traces of blood found around one of the spots indicated otherwise. It was like something had shattered there.

There was the window where there was a small puddle outside the sill on an otherwise dry day. Three days since the last rain storm with no reason it should exist.

Witnesses claimed Minamino had jogged into the store and straight to the bathroom. And then what? He’d supposedly killed the first person to walk in after that? It made no sense. But Minamino had also been seen glancing around as he moved, like he was trying to figure out where something had gone. Either that or escape? No one who was trying to escape would run for a dead end bathroom though. Not unless Minamino had thought there would be a way out…

The open window was a possibility. But even if Minamino was on the slim side, it wouldn’t have been an easy fit. But if there was someone else in there, someone smaller than Minamino?

The problem with that thought was that no one else had been seen entering the bathroom.

It was just really hard to believe that someone would run into a bathroom, stab the first person to enter with a vanishing weapon, then try to stop the bleeding. No, it looked more like there had been a fight of some sort here, possibly with someone escaping out the window.

If he could find proof…

Shinichi circled around outside to the other side of the window. There the puddle was more obvious along with a thin smear of blood that was entirely out of place. From the murder weapon? Or had the hypothetical second person been injured? He frowned at the spot and—there, a faint outline of a footprint. Proof that, yes, someone had gone out the window. As for the murder weapon… with the water scattered about, the only thing that was coming to mind was ice. But how much ice, where had it come from, and how had it melted so fast if it really was ice that had killed her?

For now though, he had the proof to point out the possibility of another subject.

*

When Kurama heard someone had come for him, he was half expecting his mother. He tried not to let irritation show on his face as Botan waved cheerfully. Behind her was Kuwabara for some reason.

“…And you’re a legal representative for Minamino-san,” one of the detectives said skeptically. He looked at Botan’s bright teal hair and her short, trendy jacket. “And him?” he said, nodding to Kuwabara.

“He’s here for moral support,” Botan said. “Now I hear Minamino-san is here under suspicion of murder…”

Kurama tuned her out as Kuwabara sidled over. Kurama raised an eyebrow at the smothered smirk on Kuwabara’s face. “What’s so amusing?”

“Wow, Kurama,” Kuwabara said in his best attempt at a whisper, “not even Yuusuke and I ever got in trouble with the cops. Looks like your goody two shoes reputation kinda got ruined. Kinda always thought it’d be Yuusuke that got arrested.”

“I’m a suspect, not a proven guilty party,” Kurama said.

“Yeah, ya kinda look like a murderer right now.” Kuwabara held up a bag. “Brought you a change of clothes. They’re mine so they’re a bit big, but better than covered in blood.”

“How thoughtful. However did you guess I would need them?”

“You’re always the messiest when things go to shit,” Kuwabara said.

Kurama snorted softly and accepted the bag of clothes. What he was wearing would likely be taken as evidence. A pity. He’d have to buy a new school uniform again.

“Oh and the runt’s taking care of the lost cat,” Kuwabara said.

Hiei was probably hating that. Who better to send after an ice demon than a demon of heat and flame though?

“Best of luck to him with that. It’s not a very nice cat.”

Kuwabara shrugged. They’d all faced worse than Reiki at one point or another. He leaned close, face scrunching up a bit more seriously. “The lady that died…”

“An unlucky victim to poor timing,” Kurama murmured back. “I blocked part of the attack, but…”

“Hey, not your fault,” Kuwabara said. He was the only one of the group that would have bothered to reassure Kurama over something like this. “You tried.”

“Trying didn’t save any lives today.” Kurama was more affected by the twinge of human conscience that said he should care about the life lost than the actual death, but Kuwabara did care about this sort of thing, so the sentiment was appreciated.

“Now that your legal advocate is here,” the police officer said giving Botan a skeptical once over yet again, “perhaps you’ll be willing to go over everything again?”

Kurama sighed. “Fine.”

“Wait!” Kudo Shinichi said from the doorway. He looked like he’d been running around for a while. “I’d like to be there too.”

“Kudo-san,” the officer who’d questioned him earlier said sounding a mixture of resigned and reluctant.

“I have some information your analysts missed.”

“Of course you do,” the officer muttered, too quiet for anyone but Kurama and perhaps Botan to hear.

*

Minamino had been joined by a young woman with teal hair and another red head—of no relation from the looks of it—who could have been an average street punk. Not the sort of people Shinichi had expected Minamino to have connections with considering his unerring politeness and reserve the whole time he had been at the station. It was a detail filed away though. Shinichi strode with confidence into the interrogation room. He had the scene figured out for the most part, but there were still gaps in understanding. Why had Minamino been chasing whoever he fought in the bathroom? Why had the opponent used lethal force? Where had the ice come from? Why did Minamino have a vine?

Hopefully Minamino would fill those gaps in.

“Let’s try this again,” Megure-keibu said. “Earlier you claimed to be looking for something. Do you have anything to add to this?”

Shinichi cut in before Minamino could answer. “Keibu, may I?”

Megure-keibu sighed. “If you think it will help.”

Minamino-san,” Shinichi said. He could feel the shift in the room, the focus of eyes on him as always happened when he put things together. “You were seen today running down the street before ducking into a departments store and going almost straight to the back of the store. You claimed to be looking for something, but it’s interesting to note that some of the witnesses have vague memories of not just seeing you, but another person as well.” It had taken Shinichi a while, but he had tracked down several people who had been in shops nearby or workers in the store. Half of them had the memory of Minamino following someone, the other half seemed to have only noticed Minamino. Shinichi was willing to bet that between the two suspects, Minamino was the more noticeable with his bright hair and uniform. “Today you weren’t just looking for something, you were looking for someone, someone who did not want to be found. You chased them through Tokyo before following them into the store and guessed that they intended to go out the back. Only they went into the bathroom instead. You followed them into the ladies’ room and confronted them, but the person reacted violently. You defended yourself from the attack only for someone else to enter the bathroom, our unfortunate victim. The other suspect attacked her to distract you. You tried to defend, but the attack got through. While you tried to stop the victim from bleeding out, the murderer escaped through the bathroom window. Correct?” Shinichi smiled grimly at the single raised eyebrow on Minamino’s face. He’d gotten some kind of reaction through Minamino’s impassive façade.

“Kudo-kun,” Megure-keibu said, voice tight. “Are you sure that it’s possible for there to have been another person? The window in the bathroom—”

“Is small. I know. The person in question couldn’t have been very big. But Minamino could have fit through that window, and so could I with some effort. There are a lot of people smaller than both of us out there.” Shinichi watched Minamino’s expression. “Did I get it wrong?”

“You got the general idea of what happened,” Minamino said. “Impressive. I did follow someone into the bathroom, and I did try to stop the woman from bleeding, which let him escape.”

“Why were you chasing him?” Kudo asked.

Minamino pursed his lips. “Cats.” Both his legal advisor and friend gave him a weird look. Minamino gave them a look back. “A friend’s cat went missing. I was helping him look for it and in the process found out that the man had an illegal pet trade going on.”

“With cats,” Shinichi said doubtfully.

Minamino shrugged. “Cats. And quite a few more exotic things than that. Some of which he smuggled.”

Megure-keibu looked pained. “You decided to confront a smuggler rather than call the police.”

“I just wanted my friend’s cat back,” Minamino said. “Clearly he didn’t think that was all I wanted.”

“Where did he get the murder weapon?” Shinichi asked. “It was ice, wasn’t it?”

“Ice?” Megure-keibu asked.

“He’s an ice supplier,” Kurama said.

“…and big freezers would be easy enough to smuggle things around in.” Didn’t explain why the guy would choose a large ice shard to attack with rather than something more sensible like a knife that wouldn’t melt in the warmth of Tokyo’s spring weather. But it was explainable where he could have gotten it from.

“Kudo-kun,” Megure-keibu said, a demand.

“He isn’t the murderer,” Shinichi said. “He did get caught up in something he shouldn’t have, but he isn’t the one who actually killed the woman. If you notice the blood stains on his clothes, the woman was behind him when she initially was stabbed, meaning he tried to keep her from being hurt. Unfortunately, he must not have been able to block a strike. The rest of the blood is on his front since after that, he tried to keep her from bleeding out. Your killer is still out there.”

There was a scuffle outside the interrogation room and everyone turned toward the door a moment before it burst open. A short man dressed in black had a death grip on a second man only a bit taller than him. Behind them Takagi had a hand outstretched.

“You can’t just burst in there!” Takagi said.

“I got your stupid cat,” the man in black said in Minamino’s direction. “And this asshole.” He shook the man in his grasp. “He has some talking to do.”

On the side of the table, Minamino smiled. A real smile and not the polite one from earlier. It was warm and just a bit dangerous in a way that Shinichi couldn’t look away from. Minamino looked at his interrogators. “Well. That solves the problem of finding the murderer.”

“How…?” Megure-keibu gaped.

The murderer in question struggled, swearing, but the shorter man didn’t seem to have any problem holding him still. “This is all your fault,” the murderer snarled in Kurama’s direction. “If you’d just died properly earlier—”

“And there is your confession,” Minamino said. “Or part of it.” He cocked his head to the side. Silent communication happened between the man holding the murderer and Minamino before Minamino nodded. “I suppose you’ll want to question him now?”

“…yes,” Megure-keibu said. “I…thank you for your patience.” He glanced at the man who had brought the murderer in. “I’ll need a statement from you as well.”

The man’s lip curled in distaste. “Fine.”

“Great!” the supposed legal advisor said with a cheery smile. “I guess I won’t be needed here after all!”

“…Right.” Megure-keibu shook his head. “Kudo-kun could you escort them out? I think we have their official statements by this point.”

“Of course.”

*

Well. That was a long and frustrating day. Kurama owed Hiei one now. How they would manage to have Reiki tried as a human and then get him to the spirit world, Kurama wasn’t going to ask. That was someone else’s problem now. He still had to go home and calm his mother down too… At least Botan hadn’t actually had to try to give him legal advice. Kurama probably knew more than she did on that subject.

The teen detective, Kudo, looked pensive as they left the police building. “I’m still wondering how he thought he was going to get away with murdering someone in broad daylight,” Kudo said, noticing Kurama watching him.

“Well, he did a fair job at pinning it on me,” Kurama said. Now that the deduction was over, Kudo seemed much younger. All the more so with how he kept glancing at Kurama like he was still missing pieces to his puzzle. Well, that and like Kurama was interesting, which he would take as a compliment. Kurama smiled warmly at him. He hadn’t missed the Kudo’s earlier reaction when he smiled at Hiei. “Thank you for clearing my name,” Kurama said. Kudo looked down and away, unable to meet his eyes. It was amusing how easily people could be flustered by Kurama’s appearance, this time was no exception.

“Ugh,” Kuwabara groaned. “Stop staring like you’re going to kiss him and let’s go. It’s weird.”

Mischief sparked in Kurama’s eyes. Well, if Kuwabara was going to phrase it like that… “I really do appreciate it,” Kurama said to Kudo, laying the gratitude on thicker than he actually felt. He leaned forward and gave Kudo a peck on the cheek, hiding a smile as both Kudo and Kuwabara sputtered. Botan laughed into her hands, hiding her grin. “Maybe we’ll meet on better terms next time.”

Kudo gaped, one hand riding to touch where he’d been kissed. “Uh. Goodbye?”

Kuwabara pointed at Kurama and shouted, “Holy shit, why didn’t you ever say you liked guys?!”

“I was expressing gratitude; attraction doesn’t figure into it,” he said, picture of serene as he turned away.

“I knew there was something up with your girly tunics! Wait—you’re not into me are you?”

Kurama rolled his eyes. “Kuwabara. None of you are to my taste.”

“Wait, then what is your taste?”

“I can guess,” Botan said, still laughing.

Kurama kept walking. If Kuwabara got too annoying, he would direct the conversation to Yukina and hopefully the topic would never come up again. He’d gotten off without murder on his human record, Reiki had been caught, and while the woman was still dead, at least Kurama could go home to his mother tonight. Not a terrible day after all.

[randomrichards]

MOVIES (THAT MIGHT BE) WORTH CHECKING OUT IN JANUARY 2020:

January 3:

THE GRUDGE

We begin with an attempted reboot of the hit horror flick based on another hit horror film.

Based on the Japanese import Ju-On, the film centres around a curse born from a fit of anger that attacks anyone who dares to enter a house. The pale boy ghost and the contorted woman became instantly iconic, especially when they made that crackling sound. Of course, people in North America are more likely to recognize its remake The Grudge. While not on the same level as its predecessor, the American was still a hit. It has become so iconic that there was a crossover movie where it faces off against the ghost from Ringu.

This time, the target is Peter Spencer (John Cho), a real estate agent who intended to sell a house not realizing it contained the title curse. Believing a homicide occurred, Spencer calls on Detective Muldoon (Andrea Risborough) to investigate. But they fail to realize the curse inside dooms all who enter it with a violent and it’s coming for them.

Here’s another of a long list of Horror remakes Hollywood has been peddling in the last decade. For every good one (It, Child’s Play), there are three times as many failures (the recent ones being Pet Semetary and Black Christmas). I’m not having much hope for this one. It can still be good, but it needs a director with as creative a vision as Takashi Shimizu’s.

THREE CHRISTS

Based on The Three Christs of Ypsilanti by Milton Rokeach, Three Christs tells the real-life experiment involving three men who claim to be a certain savior.

In Michigan’s Ypsilanti State Hospital in 1959, Dr. Alan Stone (Richard Gere) conducts a revolutionary experiment where he brings together three men (Peter Dinklage, Walton Goggins and Bradley Whitford) who each claim to be Jesus Christ. He hopes to use this experiment to force them to confront their delusions. It would certainly be preferable to electroshock therapy.

A real-life story like this comes with a lot of potential. But with the director of Fried Green Tomatoes helming this project, it looks like this will be a typical biopic. This is a shame with 4 great actors working together.

January 10:

1917

Sam Mendes, the director of American Beauty and Skyfall, takes us back to World War One and hopes to enter the Oscar Race with his latest war movie 1917.

Generla Erinmore (Colin Firth) tasks young British soldiers Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman) and Schofield (George MacKay) with a difficult mission. 1,600 of their fellow soldiers are heading into a fatal trap and the two soldiers must deliver a message calling off the raid before tomorrow morning. And one of them is Blake’s brother. Racing against time, Blake and Schofield are forced to rush through enemy territory to deliver the message on time. Benedict Cumberbatch also

The film is already garnering high praise for its gripping suspense and graceful camera. It’s already garnering nominations at the Golden Globe Awards for Best Dramatic Motion Picture, Best Director and Best Original Score. It’s especially getting praise is how it makes the film look like one long camera shot following the two leads through their mission.

CHHAPAAK

All the way from India is a film inspired by real life acid attack survivor Laxmi Agarwal.

This film looks at Malti (Deepika Padukone), a woman horribly scared after an acid attack. The film follows her through her physical treatment and eventual trial. It looks like the core of the film will be her journey of emotional healing, regaining her self-worth with the help of loved ones.

Unless you know films that show Bollywood movies, I suspect this film will be hard to find for many people. Kind of a shame

JUST MERCY

Writer/Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Short Term 12) brings ups the real-life story of a lawyer who battled systemic racism to free an innocent man.

Harvard graduate Bryan Stevenson (Michael B. Jordan) heads to 1980s Alabama to assist advocate Eva Ansley (Brie Larson) to defend those wrongfully convicted. His first and most important case is Walter McMillian (Jamie Foxx), who was sentenced to death for the notorious murder of an 18-year-old girl despite evidence proving his innocence including a group of people who could vouch for him.

As Stevenson works prove McMillian’s innocence and those of other death row inmates, he faces up against an uncaring political maneuvers and systemic racism.  But neither he nor Ansley will let this stop them.

Audiences love and underdog story and this one is sure to satisfy, especially with Jordan, Larson and Foxx starring in the film. It’s also sure to offer some catharsis for those frustrated with current systemic racism. But this could by a typical biopic forgotten by the end of the year.

January 17:

BAD BOYS FOR LIFE

I’m going to be brief because I don’t think we’re going to get anything special from this movie. This film is pretty much a checkmark of every plot element you see in every Buddy Cop movie. Cop considering retiring. Check. One last job? Check. Training arrogant young upstarts? Check. A forever disapproving superior throwing a tantrum of our heroes. Check. It doesn’t matter how flashy the trailer is, a cliché is a cliché.

But then again, the original two film were also piling of buddy cop clichés. The only thing they had going for them was Will Smith’s charisma and Martin Lawrence’s over the top delivery. Only the second movie was memorable thanks to some well shot, over the top action scenes. But I highly doubt this one will be memorable when Michael Bay has backed out of the film.

We don’t really need another Bad Boys movie, especially when we have the Fast and Furious series and the John Wick movies.

DOLITTLE

The famous physician who can talk to animals returns in a new reboot. This time the Doc is played by Robert Downey Jr, fresh from retiring his iconic role of Tony Stark after 10 years. It also looks like it will be going back to its roots as a fantasy story set in the Victorian era. There’s not much plot summary to go on, but judging by the trailer, it will have him setting sail on an adventure alongside his animal friends. At the core of the film seems to be his friendship with two kills. Also, among the cast are Jessie Buckley as Queen Victoria and Antonio Banderas as a pirate.

There is an all-star cast voicing the animals, including Tom Holland, Emma Thompson, Ralph Fiennes and Rami Malek just to name a few.

This film seems to rest its shoulders on Robert Downey Jr, hoping his charm will do for Dr. Doolittle what he did for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But the film lives and dies on writer/director Stephen Gaghan, who is an unusual choice for a family fantasy considering that his resume consists of gritty war movies like Syriana, Traffic and Rules Engagement and crime drama tv shows like The Practice and NYPD Blue. He’s even written for the video game Call of Duty: Ghosts. It’s strange that someone with this resume would be chosen to reboot this franchise. It’s especially risky considering the original attempts to adapt Hugh Lofting books for the big screen. But if Martin Scorsese can make Hugo, there’s a chance Gaghan can make Dolittle work

The first one was a musical that tried to bank on the Sound of Music’s success but was an epic flop. It didn’t help that lead actor Rex Harrison was a notoriously difficult drunk who couldn’t sing. In fact, his behind the scenes shenanigans were way more interesting than the actual movie as proved by Mark Harris’ non-fiction book Pictures at a Revolution. Decades later, 20th Century Fox reboots the franchise was a hit thanks to Eddie Murphy as the title character and a variety of comedic voice actors (especially Albert Brooks, Chris Rock and Norm McDonald) voices the animals. No matter the quality, there’s a weight of nostalgia for both movies with many people growing up with these movies. This film will face the challenge of pushing past the nostalgia.

WEATHERING WITH YOU

From beloved anime writer/director Makoto Shinkai comes another romantic fantasy about two teens.

Teenage boy Hodoka (voiced by Kotaro Daigo) runs away from his isolated island home for Tokyo. Homeless and desperate, Hodoka takes a job as an assistant for journalist Keisuke Suga (Sun Oguri). His job involves finding “The Sunshine Girl”, a local teen girl who can control the weather. He soon finds her in Hina Amano (Nana Mori), a cheerful teen girl living with her brother. He is in awe with her power when she freezes the rain and love soon sparks. But messing with nature comes with a price and soon Hodoka and Hina are fighting to stay together.

Of all the movies on this list, this is the one I’m most excited to see. Once I saw his recent his Your Name, I was in pure awe. Never has a sunset looked more beautiful than in Shinkai’s anime. Every environment in Shinkai’s films enchant you with their vibrant colours and stunning details. Just as beautiful are his fantastical stories of young people growing up. At the core of each story is teens in love kept apart by unusual circumstances, whether it’s distance or time or even being in each other ‘s bodies.

This film’s already a major hit in Japan, which is very encouraging for anime fans.

January 24:

COLOR OUT OF SPACE

And now for something a little weird.

Nathan Gardner (Nicholas Cage) has moved his family to a remote farm to escape city life and live a life of peace and quiet. Then God was like “LOL No!” and sends an asteroid down their way. Then weird shit starts happening, most with colours mutating everything.

With a crew like this, you know you’re getting into some crazy shit. First, the film is based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft, the inventor of cosmic horror and the man who gave us Cthulhu. Then there’s co-writer/director Richard Stanley, known for his odd genre flicks including Hardware and Dust Devil.[i] And then there’s Nicholas Cage, whose as well known for his scenery chewing Kabuki acting as his acclaimed Oscar-nominated roles. Last year, writer/director Panos Cosmatos found perfect use of Cage’s Kabuki acting in the ultra-stylized revenge masterpiece Mandy. Let’s be honest, the only types of films Cage’s Kabuki acting can work are either stylized, unintentionally hilarious or tongue-in-cheek. With the producers of Mandy working on this film, there’s high hopes it will be deliver on the stylized goods.

THE GENTLEMEN

After remaking Aladdin (and making lots of money in the process), director/writer Guy Ritchie returns to his roots with his latest English crime comedy The Gentlemen.

From what I can gather, the films about an American Pot Dealer (Matthew McConaughey) who plans to sell off his Empire in London when a young gang led by Dry Eye (Henry Golding) starts a drug war. There’s not much plot to go on, but with a Guy Ritchie movie, the plot will be way too complicated to explain. What is guaranteed is that there will be lots of oddball gangsters with weird names, hilarious and gruesome deaths and shit blowing up.

The film features an all-star cast including Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell and Hugh Grant continuing his streak of getting his groove back by playing against type.

So far, Ritchie hasn’t made a film that’s reached the same level as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch. For the most part, he has been unsuccessful stepping out of his comfort zone. Here’s hoping The Gentleman will bring his back on his A Game.

THE TURNING

This day concludes with a modern take of Henry James’ classic novella The Turn of the Screw.

Kate (Mackenzie Davis) is hired as a governess for care for her boss’s orphaned niece Flora (Brooklyn Prince) and nephew Miles (Finn Wolfhard). But as she cares for them in a secluded mansion, she comes to realize they are being haunted by hostile spirits. Can she protect them for what lies in the mansion?

The film has been remade multiple times, with the most acclaimed one being the 1961 classic The Innocents. This once changes it up by setting it in current times, with a notable scene of Miles creeping Kate out with drums. The film also gives some Conjuring vibes, especially with its cinematography. But it should be noted that similarity doesn’t equal copying and there could be some unique elements in this film.

There certainly is a good chance with director Floria Sigismondi will offer a unique vision. She has already directed episodes of stylized shows like The Handmaid’s Tale, Daredevil and American Gods, but she’s already well known for her stylized directing from her work in music videos. Since Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People”, dilating, jittery camera work has become her trademark, working alongside artists including David Bowie, Bjork, Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake (just to name a few).

January 27:

BEANPOLE

Here’s the film Russia hopes will be nominated for Best Foreign Language film.

Set in Leningrad in 1945, Beanpole centres on Masha (Vasilisa Perelygina) and Iya (Viktoria Miroshnichenko) struggling to trying to rebuild their lives in the ruins of a city demolished by war. At the core of film is the infertile Masha hiring Iya as a surrogate mother.

There’s not much go on, but with the film winning Best Director at the Cannes Film Festival, there’s good prospects for this film. It seems to be a character drama like Roma. Here’s hoping this film’s as quietly engaging as Alfonso Cuaron’s masterpiece.

January 31

THE TRAITOR

We conclude this with an Italian biopic about Tommaso Buscetta, the first Mafia Informant in 1980’s Sicily.

Tommaso (Pierfrancesco Favino) was a member of the Cosa Nostra. Then in 1983, half of his family is killed in a gang war. Now he intends to make them pay using the arm of the law. He knows the mob will do whatever it takes to stop him, but he’s more determined than ever. But as the trials continue, Tommaso will show the rabbit hole goes deeper than the law expected with political figures in the mafia’s pockets.

This is another film that may fall by the wayside, which is a shame because this film seems like a great biopic. It could certainly give overdue attention for director/co-writer Marco Bellocchio, who has remained a criminally overlooked director despite making acclaimed movies since the 1960s.

[i] And being fired from the Brando version of Island of Dr. Monroe.

[eckshecks]

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REVIEW

Songs We Love: Bat Fangs, 'Wolfbite'

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November 1, 20179:01 AM ET

NINA CORCORAN

Bat Fangs' self-titled debut album comes out Feb. 2, 2018.

Soleil Konkel/Courtesy of the artist

There's a sea of rock bands in the world, which means a new tide of bands flows to shore each day, from blithe powerchord advocates to jukebox camp devotees. So when two of your favorite acts team up, it's difficult to resist dubbing them a supergroup, even if their original bands aren't household names yet. That's how I feel about Bat Fangs, a rock duo comprised of Ex Hex's Betsy Wright and Flesh Wounds drummer Laura King — it already stands out amid rock's wave of revivalists.

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Bat Fangs is a chance for Wright and King to overlap their musical projects. Whereas Wright's work in Ex Hex catalogs a type of power-pop thrashing, King opts for garage-rock blues in Flesh Wounds, hammering her way through tightly-screwed fills with feverish force. When conjoined to form Bat Fangs, the two create a knotted crossover reminiscent of '80s radio rock. "Wolfbite," the lead single off the duo's self-titled debut LP, sees both musicians rearing behind their instruments with an infectious, almost playful joy.

It's easy to fall for the heady guitar riffs that open "Wolfbite" or King's dance between high-hat tapping during verses and the deep full-kit rumbling during the chorus. Wright gives the song an air of mystery with lines about a misunderstood creature that's always on call come night. What gives "Wolfbite" its fangs, though, is the way Wright jabs at the air with her guitar. Halfway through the song, she slides into the forefront to shred, whipping out a guitar solo full of endorphin-laced trills while she scales the fretboard.

"Wolfbite" is a bold introductory handshake that promises the familiarity of rock artists you love — a reminder that the most recent tidal wave of rock has plenty of momentum. You're lucky enough to catch a ride for free.

Bat Fangs comes out Feb. 2 via Don Giovanni Records.

Bat Fangs

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