#and theyre quite healthy too

[triptychofvoids]

Doc! Assuming you don't like apples, I got you an orange! Also some raspberries for the doves! [Hands over an orange and a cup of raspberries]

danke! i am rather fond of citrus actually, i appreciate the snack heh and tasty treats for the birds!! you know they will make such a mess of these...

[quarklynx]

Read a book today, would not recommend. I have fallen to the "just one more chapter" curse. It is now 5 am.

[arolesbianism]

Oh baby I am getting way to ambitious with my current oni run for someone who's laptop starts screaming anytime it opens steam

[gerbu]

question for the experts ummmm how do i know if I'm doing it right. I was so miserable with them but looking back it seems so inconsequential. Am I supposed to get over it and go back or trust my painfully vague feelings

[imblocking-you]

Therapy Game

[mantisgodsdomain]

Got new news from an old fandom today. We... remembered just why we left. Might've given a bit of insight into our current modes of writing, too. It's still a shitshow over there, but it's shone a light on things.

What we like in fiction is... nuance. Cohesion. When the pieces fit together, when we can dig deeper and find a bigger picture, when it's art that we can look at from a multitude of angles and gain new insight from that. We try and work at ever-so-slightly new takes on characters, but we still have to put the work in to avoid drifting, to avoid flanderization, to avoid losing the plot.

And we aren't sure we could do that with a live, multi-chapter work. And we're even less certain we could handle it with the potential of having to readjust course partway through a fic. We are not a fast author, for the most part. We sit and we plot and we plan, and it takes a lot of revisions to hit the final draft. We could not uphold a solid schedule unless everything was already written.

We want to avoid our art running into the pitfalls we've already seen in action, and so we try and work to make things that won't fall into those pitfalls.

[kelocitta]

How do you draw scavs so Shaped… I want to push mine more but they just look like they’re suffering and in pain and Not Having A GooD Time

There still pretty rough for me to be honest, but I do have a good idea of how I think they 'work' in terms of anatomy and physiology and I think that helps a lot.

In generally I just keep a big head and a big chest and build around that. If you watch them move around in game, they tend to barely use their hind legs and instead swing themselves around and pull themselves forward with their arms. Their almost always bent forward in that gorilla-esque stance, and I think keeping that helps a lot to maintaining their shape and vibe. It's a big part of why I kept that even when doing 'anthros'- they just don't feel right if you treat their spine like a human spine! Otherwise you can stylize the anatomy quite a bit Really though, I think fully thinking out how you think fake animals work and what theyre similar too, what is most comfortable for them in terms of movement compared to things like humans and cats, etc helps a lot

Some animals I pretty directly pull inspiration from: Gibbons: Long armed apes, although I dont think scavenger's move exactly like them. They are mostly just a good reference for how something with such weirdly proportioned arms would use them

Hares: Just overall vibes, but also their resting posture translates nice to how I consider the body to work. Greyhound (and other lean sighthounds): Large chested but very lean. Weight and fat distribution and limits between species is a neat detail to consider. With something like a greyhound, their healthy weight is very thin looking- to the point they can often *look* underweight or overweight individuals can look 'normal'. I kinda think scavengers are similar! Healthy scavengers just naturally look kinda thin and scraggly. (In contrast, I like to think slugcats are more like humans in that they have a huge range for healthy weight, but tend not to visibly show weight gain/loss unless its pretty extreme.)

Aye-Aye: Their weird ass hands and feet (less fingers though)

[saturnsfather]

have realized after the fact that it seems im giving it a lot of leniency and i do want to make it clear THERE IS PROBABLY DEFINITELY AN ASPECT OF RACISM TO IT. like the fact daniil doesnt realize that its not funny does not change the fact that it is Kind Of Fucking Cruel and Not A Good Joke In The First Place and that even if its not intentionally malicious, the fact that hes doing it to ARTEMY who at some point in the game daniil DEFINITELY KNOWS has a VERY FUCKING COMPLICATED relationship with his father and family name and people’s history and culture is extremely fucking White Man of him

came to the sudden realization today that the reason it feels so weird to me how Daniil seems to “forget” Artemy’s name in p2. the tone always feels off enough that it really sometimes feels like hes doing it on purpose but not necessarily intentionally maliciously. i think hes trying to make a joke.

no seriously i think hes doing it as Funny Ribbing Between Colleagues or something but it is just NOT coming across well. its the autistic Flat Monotone and Misreading Social Cues And Dynamics. i think he thinks he and Artemy are joking around but Artemy doesnt have the time or energy to genuinely confront him over it and eventually make Daniil realize its Not Funny

[sunnixsunshine]

*spritzes Sanji with a water bottle* Down boy down! Leave those love handles alone!

A big factor in Zoro’s inability to lose this last bit of weight months and months later is just the general fact that pregnancy changes your body :d his fat distribution is different is all. Also doesn’t help that he most likely experienced quite a lot of stress that just made things harder that first year Sora was born. He’s still just as strong, nothing’s changed in that department, he did regular exercises that got more and more limited until he physically couldn’t do those exercises anymore. His stretch marks will probably fade more within a another couple years but probably wont be gone entirely, just faint lines—also I thought itd be funny to give him a mullet. But also its for good reason. It’s a physical indication that he isnt really paying attention to his needs, hes either just ignoring them or paying too much attention to Sora’s needs, which is reasonable, shes a toddler. Eventually hes forced to get a haircut, hes gotten into a better habit of taking care of his hygiene—still bathes once a week but hey at least hes using actual soap now that isnt 4 in 1 or plain water.

I think his weight and physical appearance would be a sore spot because this man has been training rigorously since he was like 10. Hes always had a very fit, sharp, toned body. He fully expected to have that body back shortly after giving birth and when that didnt happen in true Zoro fashion he tried to speed run his bedrest to train only a week postpartum. It didnt work out obviously, hes still human, hes still a slave to his body’s limitations. I think that now that hes back with the crew and sees that theyre fine with his own eye, hes far less stressed, and collaborating on a good dietary plan with both Chopper and Sanji would eventually produce the physique Zoro would prefer having (Chopper keeps saying he’s perfectly healthy this way, hes not underweight or overweight, that this is a common aftermath with pregnancy, but noooooo Zoro wont listen and is insistent that he wants the rest of this weight gone tomorrow) which wouldnt be what it was like before. The closest I can think of would be a typical body that Ive seen many wwe wrestlers have which is apparently called an endomorph body type? Either way, his body has changed, he has to really learn how to accept that because obviously he doesnt think too highly of his physical appearance in the comic above.

Also I went ham and gave him a mole on his tiddie that tbh I think Sanji likes to kiss :) ^3^

Anyway heres a cute bonus doodle of daddy-daughter workout!

[dovveri]

aftermath

bachelorette masterlist - part 1 ▸ part 2 ▸ part 3 ▸ part 4 ▸ part 5 ▸ part 6

synopsis: the finale! and then the afterparty :')

warnings: suggestive, cursing, sana kisses a fictional man im sorry

w/c: 2.9k

a/n: surprise! double feature release! bcs theyre both quite short compared to the other chapters and i lwk just wanted to close this series and be done with it - im v happy w and vvvv grateful for all the support ive received w this - it was my first ever published fic and 36.7k words later im pretty happy w how it ends :)) stay healthy and safe!! mwah <3

⊱✿⊰

true to her word, sana ended up telling everyone that she had gained feelings for you during the filming experience. you had wanted to go with her but she insisted it would be easier for those who had gained feelings for her to accept it if you weren't there. so you were stuck at home, twiddling your thumbs watching reruns of the last few episodes anxiously waiting for her to come home.

you're up in seconds when you hear the door click open softly, rushing to greet her.

"hey! how'd they take it?"

sana's a little surprised to see you in such a hurry, but recovers quickly, smiling and tilting your chin down to peck you sweetly.

"hello to you too. they were okay." you help her organise her things as she settles in, "jihyo was obviously eliminated after house visits like i promised i'd do. i still have a soft spot for her but it was easier to talk to the other three when she wasn't there, probably because i could get my entire story across uninterrupted. unfortunately, jiwon decided to forfeit herself after the news which she has every right to do. the producers are going to mark it off as a family emergency and say she can no longer participate in the filming."

"oh... and the other two?"

"momo took it pretty hard, but jacky seemed to already have a clue what was going on. they both agreed to stay on until the end of the season though. i still feel terrible for having to put them through this, especially the last 2 dates with each of them, knowing that they don't have a chance with me anymore..."

"hey, it's okay. they agreed to stay right? they're being good friends right now and feeling bad or sorry for them and not giving it your all for the last few days isn't going to be helpful for them."

she sighs, "you're right. after all this craziness is over i'll definitely try and do something for them."

you smile, pecking her temple, "and i'll help you."

⊱✿⊰

because there were no more group dates, and the season would end after the final 2 dates and the decision sana makes, you weren't really needed for the filming of the rest of the season.

so most of your time was spent at home, lounging around in the pool or in the kitchen while sana was out on extravagant dates not with you, and completely bored out of your mind.

at nights, you'd bound excitedly up to sana and find out what adventure she went on, completely attached to her, even sitting on top of the toilet seat while she was in the shower so you were never apart. the seperation anxiety for just a few hours was definitely something that caught you a little off guard but after spending practically every minute together while filming, combined with your newfound romantic love for her, you couldn't bear being apart from her.

soon enough, the final day of filming came. it was set in this beautiful meadow with flower strands that reached mid-calf. sana was in the most perfect sundress, like she belonged in the meadow, like she was aphrodite herself born not from the sea, but the flowers.

typically, the final choice is snapped together with flashy editing between tension building scenes of sana walking up to both of the final contestants in two different settings. they filmed her rejection shot the day before already, so there wasn't much suspense watching as sana walked through the meadow towards her final choice. not that there needed to be, you were enthralled enough just being able to take in the breathtaking view that was minatozaki sana, just imagining it was you she was walking gently towards.

but it wasn't. and the mindless chatter of the cameras and crew served to remind you that again, you had to stand in the background while the love of your life confessed to someone that wasn't you. no amount of reassurance from her would be able to get the feeling of utter despair out of you.

⊱✿⊰

sana walks forward with a gentle, rehearsed smile.

"hi."

"hey sana."

"how are you feeling?"

"could be better. i'm either about to have my heart broken in front of the entirety of korea and my family back home or i'm about to be able to call the most beautiful girl on the planet my girlfriend. pretty big moment."

sana giggles, "welll... jacky... regardless of the outcome-"

"oooooh that word's not a great sign is it?"

she hushes him, "shhh, just let me finish. jacky... the time on this show, the time you've given me, has been absolutely incredible. from the first time i met you with your charming smile and lively wit, it was hard to forget your dual entrance with eunji, both of you looking absolutely dapper in your suits. and then on our individual date, you dared to go on that hot air balloon at the asscrack of dawn to watch the sunrise with me, and even though i'm not totally sure if you did see it or not, the fact that you went up there, and you overcame that fear, it was so inspiring and courageous of you. it was that moment that really made me realise the kind of person you were, and the courage, and fun you'd bring into a relationship, and even to a family in the future. that is... if you wanted to officially become my boyfriend?" she finishes her piece with a shy smile, a strand of hair falling cinematically over her face while she peers up at him under her eyelashes.

jacky gapes a little, and then he's grinning, hoisting her up in a whoop and spinning her around on the spot, stopping finally to plant his lips on hers.

when they break apart, they both have the widest smiles on their faces, eyes glowing in adoration of each other.

"yes! yes of course i'd be honoured sana! i hope to spend the rest of our lives together until we grow old and wrinkly and our kids have to come dote on us in the retirement home while we annoy them with how unbelievably cute we are even in our old age. and i look forward to watching reruns of our season and being able to show our kids how absolutely gorgeous their mom looked and how incredibly lucky i got being able to be the one at the end of it all!"

there are happy tears and more kisses, hugs, and spins, and with that, the bachelorette season for 2024, is officially over.

⊱✿⊰

"eugh, did you seriously kiss him?"

sana throws the popcorn at you playfully, "yes but it was all planned babe and you're a way better kisser anyway."

"show me."

"oh i will." sana grins, sliding into your lap, pushing the bag of popcorn aside, lips immediately finding yours while the credits for the final bachelorette episode run in the background.

you smile into the kiss, hands finding their place naturally on her waist while her hands cup your face, tilting her head slightly to angle the kiss better.

she breaks away with an over-exaggerated smack that has you rolling your eyes and wiping at your lips in mock disgust.

"so now that the final episode is out... are we allowed to be seen in public together yet?" you're voice is whiny, pleading with her.

she coos, "my little babyy, i thought you weren't big on pda?"

"well i'm not but i'm sick of everyone thinking that you're with someone that's not me!"

sana giggles, "just think how this is for jacky right now. poor eunji..."

you scoff, "eunji will be fine. she's never been one to care about what the public thinks anyway."

"everyone says that but no-one is immune to societal pressure." she boops your nose with her finger gently, "but to answer your question, yes. we'll be able to go public soon i promise. and soon enough the tabloids will get bored of me and move on to the next big celebrity or whatever anyways so it'll be fine. now c'mon, we gotta get ready for the reunion, get your cute lil butt into your fit for the night."

you groan, pulling her back down when she tries to move off of you, "nooooo one more movie?"

sana laughs, pushing you out of her neck, "absolutely not. i'm not gonna be the only star for tonight, this time we're both gonna be the centre of attention, and we cannot be late! i swear if we don't get ready now you're sleeping here on the couch tonight."

"what?! you wouldn't!"

"i would."

"you couldn't survive without cuddles anyway."

"i can replace you with mr. bean."

"not my arch nemesis... i knew winning that bear for you was a bad decision... i'll rip off his stuffed head..."

sana laughs freely, "as if winning was a decision for you. you went back to that stall like 6 times."

"i should've left him there the 5th time..."

"nope! so if you don't want me getting all close and personal with him tonight you're gonna come get ready now with no funny business."

she stands up and you let her, your hands still attached as she pulls you up as well.

you smirk, "what funny business? i never pull any funny business!"

"yeah like the time you fucked me in a bathroom while everyone was waiting for us outside to start filming for national television. and then did it again at a public amusement park like a week later."

"i don't recall you saying no."

"well i'm saying no funny business now."

"okaaaaaayyyyy." you grin, fingers crossed behind your back while you follow her to your room to get dressed.

⊱✿⊰

"y/n!"

"miyeon oh my god!"

miyeon's running towards you with her arms outstretched, easily wrapping them around you the moment she sees you.

you laugh into her, hand still held in sana's while you greet her.

"sana too hi!"

miyeon breaks away from you easily, going in to hug your girlfriend with her everlasting friendliness.

"how are you guys!? i heard through the grapevine that after the filming ended you were finally able to get together officially, even though you kinda had to keep it on the down low so it wasn't like publicly official but it's a step further?"

you laugh, "awwwh yeah you heard right, but now that the show is officially over..." you bring you and sana's intertwined hands up to your lips, kissing her knuckles, "we can say we're officially together!"

miyeon squeals happily, "yay! i'm so happy for both of you. really. no jealousy sana?"

sana laughs as well, hitting miyeon playfully, "noo don't remind me."

"oh i'm afraid it's permanent now. unless they burn every single copy of this season the day you broke my heart is forever recorded in history."

"oh god... y/n... swear to me you'll never show this to our kids."

"can't do that babe. gotta show them their mom in her prime. the sweetheart of korea at one point in her life."

"just one point?"

"sweetheart of mine for my whole life obviously."

sana grins, kissing you cheesily, miyeon doesn't even mind, simply happy to see both her friends together.

"are jacky and eunji here?" you ask miyeon when you break away with a smile.

"i haven't seen them but i also haven't said hi to everyone yet. c'mon let's go!" she leads you into the garden where the party's being hosted.

you and sana are attached by the hip, if one of you has to let go of the other's hand, another body part will eventually replace it, your skin contact is constant, never parting from one another while you greeted all the old contestants.

some were still a little surprised to see that sana had come with you in hand and not with jacky, but she explained what happened patiently, apologising for the confusion.

"jacky! eunji!" sana spots them first, calling them out.

you grin at the sight of them, wearing matching suits, hand in hand, waving them down.

"hey couple of the hour! how are you guys faring tonight?"

"oh says you. finally got the girl jacky?"

jacky blushes, "crazy how things turned out right? just two sets of best friends realising they're in love with each other and not the person they're both dating. kinda lucky it turned out that way so we could fake that finale sana. it's just a shame for momo..."

"yeah i felt terrible especially after all she did with that home visit in japan. but i talked to her after filming ended and we actually get along really well as friends, we have so much more in common and so much more to talk about when we're not in a controlled environment like the filmset!"

"you guys talking about me?"

you turn in a flash, surprised but excited to see momo coming up behind you.

"momoring!"

sana goes in for a hug first, which momo gladly returns with a giggle.

"hi everyone. it's nice to see you all again outside of the filming."

"of course! it's great to see you again too. how have you been holding up?"

"oh alright. i was contacted already to be on the next season of bachelor in paradise which is always just a massive orgy i swear, so i won't be going on, but i heard jiwon accepted a place!"

sana pouts, "i hope jiwon's okay... she's the only finalist i haven't talked to since breaking the news. i thought it'd be too soon to reach out to her after she left..."

"you talked to me right?" momo playfully nudges sana's shoulder, "jiwon's doing better. she's happy for you both, really. and she's getting her second chance so there's really nothing she's complaining about."

sana smiles gratefully, "i'm glad."

momo turns her attention to the other couple, "and jacky, eunji! i can't believe you guys got together in the end! i mean i was pretty oblivious in the house but nayeon always swore there was something between you two. guess she was right."

eunji laughs, "it came as a surprise to the both of us as well. i guess we just spent so much time together in the house that it was a lot like old times and then when seeing each other go off with sana and realising we weren't jealous of each other but jealous of sana, well that did it!"

"this entire thing is honestly just a mess of feelings. i don't know how you guys do it as contestants. i had a hard enough time not even being a part of the competition."

"to be fair you did kinda insert yourself in pretty heavily when you started sleeping with sana."

"hey!"

there's laughs and teasing all round. the night goes on like this, in the company of people you've grown easily close to in a very short amount of time, and holding hands with the woman you fell in love with.

⊱✿⊰

"sana, y/n, can i steal you both for a minute?"

you both turn, surprised to see jihyo there, looking a little sheepish. you squeeze sana's hand, looking to her for confirmation. she nods, clearing her throat, "yeah. sure jihyo."

jihyo leads you to a quieter clearing, then stands in front of the both of you, eyes on the ground, awkwardly rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"i just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i acted the last time we saw each other. i was jealous and petty for bringing sungbin and i wanted to throw sana off her game so that she'd admit she was in love with you on national television. i went into it wanting to embarass sana and i'm sorry."

sana sighs, gripping your hand reassuringly, "we know. it's okay jihyo. i'm sorry about how it went down between us. i do hope you find the right person one day."

jihyo looks up then, "thank you. really. and it probably doesn't mean a lot coming from me but i am glad the two of you ended up finding each other. she makes you happier than i've ever seen you sana. i genuinely hope for all the best for the both of you."

"thank you jihyo." sana smiles at you then, and you return it softly. "she does make me really happy."

"after some time... maybe you could both come by again? my siblings and my parents miss you lots and i'd like to make it up to both of you for the last time you were there."

"we'd love to. thank you jihyo."

jihyo smiles gratefully, bowing and leaving the two of you alone.

sana sighs, turning to you and looping her arms around your neck.

"you okay?"

she hums, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead against yours. "never better."

you giggle, stealing a quick kiss, "the headlines are gonna get pretty crazy once they get wind of the current couples."

"let them have their drama. all i need is you."

"cheesy."

"you love it."

"i love you."

"i love you too." she grins, bringing you into another kiss, sealing the love you have for each other between your lips.

[zan0tix]

I yap so much about the comic and the importance i find in its contents but i hope when i write dirk or jake or rlly any of them it doesnt come off as me dumbing them down😭

I know the core internal mechanisms at which they all operate from otherwise i wouldnt understand why they even do what they do and why they speak how they do since that is so crucial to analysis of their behaviour and Why they were written.

But i mostly write silly scenarios so the deeper messier parts dont get to show much😭 working on deeper things tho rest assured i am locking in🫡🫡🫡

I try to match the tones of how i believe the characters would act continuing off the ending of homestuck. With dirk and jake specifically i try to write them to where they still both kinda dont say everything they need to but they dont have the weight of narrative destiny on their shoulders anymore so they can admit they like spending time together and have actually confessed like normal people and got out those apologies they kept yammering on about in the last half of act 6

I try to reinvoke the ridiculous nature of the one time we really see the real dirk and jake talk (which was actually a dreambubble memory. jake is so gay.) but i try to make it feel how that did, they really do love spending time together and just being weird and cringe and bantering about stupid shit ❤️(the most we see dirk type laugh in the comic)

(Always Highly recommend reading this log if you havent in a while. Its just such good writing theyre so funny) https://www.homestuck.com/story/4844

I feel like the Best Bros part of dirkjake kinda gets lost alot of the time considering THEY NEVER SPEAK DIRECTLY (which is insane that hussie could craft this universe bending gender norm shattering yaoi with no fucking interactions wtf anyway) but there is alot you can gleam from jakes interactions with hal and this one log to tell us how they usually speak

Dirk always veers into making homoerotic comments because.. i dunno he might have feelings for jake or something whos to say. and when jake presses him dirk immediately diverts. I think from being around dave and everything daves realised thats bullshit about masculine standards and heroism that let him have a healthier relationship to masculinity, hearing abt that would loosen dirk up about Actually being affectionate to jake

But hes still somehow trying to no homo his way out of things that are incredibly homo just in a subtler way, not immediately going “Haha, what? I never said that. Anyway.” (Its both out of his fear for what his true identity means about him as a man but also because he doesnt think he deserves to get such affections cough thinks himself an evil)

And jake was always going with the flow. If his friends socially decreed something as okay to talk about then the fucking damn burst open and he couldnt keep it in anymore but they had to Very Clearly Clarify with him about it. So i think dirk going down a more positive road would lead jake there too seeing that if its okay for dirk to be less restrictive with his feelings jake can be too.

The Epilogues has a highly specific premise and was being manned by caliborn and calliope 2.0 cranked to the max in the deranged fanfic behaviour so. Of course it would not be a healthy environment for characters to grow💀 anyone who takes it as full confirmation about how theyd act or become as adults and ignores the fact of its premise Being “Homestuck but Sick and Twisted; The Fanfiction” is kind of stupid its like saying homosuck was in character. Ofc everybodys lives goes to shit because the two running the show dont know how the hell to be good puppeteers 😭

Said it on twitter but you can tell how much a dirk hates himself based on his relationship to a jake. Because tho ult dirk wouldnt ever admit it jake is dirks anchor of self worth just as dirk is jakes. When they show compassion and kindness to one another its a step closer to self acceptance because Jake is quite frankly a living embodiment of EVERYTHING that is “wrong” (queer, cringe, sincere, feminine) about Dirk to himself in his saviour complex surrounding manhood. (See Everything caliborn says about jake) jakes always waiting for dirk. If dirk were to step down and admit his own humanity itd mean hed have to accept he is capable of growing and isnt inherently evil, and jake would be ready to embrace that about himself too

Anyway all that to say. Even in my simple silly writing i at least do try to retain dirk and jakes strange emotional dodging olympics but also its just on a smaller level since theyve inching their way to fully internalising that Its Okay to be Cringe and Gay Together❤️ because the World isnt Ending anymore. Its in the little things they dont say because haha im the one who makes them say words.

Dirk and jake hate themselves because theyre not men in the right way but their love is because of them not being men in the right way so.. nerm.. Whos flying the plane?

[kingshovelbug]

i think the thing that pissed me off the most about transphobes today is that i kept seeing shit about top surgery where they say “girls are being coerced into removing healthy breast tissue” but breast IMPLANTS are fine even though those pose risks to said healthy breast tissue.

or that top surgery is too easy to get and that women should be proud of their boobs and get rid of them as the last case scenario. but i can name quite a few reasons that women would get mastectomies or at least reductions?

back, shoulder and or rib pain? just the general theyre in the way during everyday life? i cant tell you how many girl friends of mine have said it hurts them just to go down the fucking stairs unless theyre holding their boobs. healthy but risk of breast cancer so they want preventative care?

my mom in fact has all of these and she still hasnt been approved to get a reduction even though it would improve her quality of life tremendously. why are we so focused on tits that were allowing that to cloud our judgment when it comes to this specific vein of body autonomy?

[enden-k]

Why do i feel like Kaveh is also a bed hog, and it's just a matter of who falls asleep first. (Usually Alhaitham , bc Kaveh hasn't had a consistent sleep schedule in over 20 years, and i feel like Alhaitham's the type to go to bed at like 9:00 (or whatever time is considered 'normal') every night, without fail, regardless of what's going on)

i should sleep like. rlly bad but here i am rambling about my kvthm sleep thoughts AHSJBD

anw haitham is a man of routines and always gets his perfect 8 hours of sleep, always at around the same time (still not much of a morning person) so hes usually the first to go to bed. def hogs the blankets and makes little to no noise (kaveh often checked up on his breathing in sudden panic that he had died in his sleep, relieved to hear his very quiet snores)

hes also surprisingly (or not) quite the cuddler (bc touchstarved haitham hc my beloved)

kaveh (who has inconsistent sleep schedule yes absolutely right) i can see more as smn who sleeps fine and well in very uncomfy looking places or ways; bent over his desk, half draped over the divan before he passed out, crammed in the little space left of his bed covered in clothes and papers when he was in a hurry for a meeting. also he def talks in his sleep

theyre both not used to having another body next to theirs, sharing a bed so at first kaveh often ends up being squished between wall (house) and wall (haitham) and getting his blanket stolen. maybe also bc hes unsure if haitham even wants physical contact so he tries to give him some space and scoots more into the wall until haitham pulls him into his arms and back against his body, seeking contact even without being aware of it

the more they get used, the better it gets; its often that haitham wakes in the morning to kaveh completely draped over him (enjoying his weight greatly tho), limbs tangled with his and his hair in his face and mouth. their bodies perfectly slotting together and them being unable to sleep well when the other is not around

(kaveh developing a more healthy sleep schedule too, unless theres a project)

[kcrossvine-art]

Γεια σας! Here we are at the Penultimate Redwall Recipe we're going to cover, and this ones a two-fer as most of the drinks are. Today from the Redwall Cookbook we're covering both Applesnow and Mossflower Mulled Cider!

(you can also find the original recipe at the bottom if you’d like to follow along)-

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to an Applesnow?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Sauce apple (such as McIntosh or Cortland)

Ground cinnamon

Sugar

Eggwhite

AND, “well, what goes in to an Mossflower Mulled Cider?” YOU MIGHT ASK

2 cups apple cider

3 tablespoons sugar

4 cloves

1 cinnamon stick

Pinch ground allspice

2 slices lime or lemon

Applesnow is essentially applesauce but fancy-ed with the egg, you can cook more or less time for various applesauce consistencies, the time this recipe gives will have it be less mushy (or not cooked at all…).

AND, “what does each taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Theyre both very simple dishes that pack a lot of flavor!

Applesnow is definitely best served chilled

Eggwhites, when beaten enough, have a good texture to them (youll need to beat them until theyre soft-firm peaks!!! Don't underbeat them!!)

Though the taste of eggwhites on the applesauce is….. Acquired. I did not like it, it tasted too savory/breakfasty

the cider is sweet and smooth, buttery

citrus adds a really nice tang to balance out the more complicated flavors

The english have some damn weird desserts

. doubled allspice amount in applesnow . doubled cinammon/cloves amount in cider

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From deciding to make both to having both completed and ready to eat, id say it took about an hour- most of this was me double checking recipes and waiting for my electric stovetop to heat haha.

Applesnow is a fascinating concept- you dont often see egg whites alone used in end results. It doesnt have a strong flavor on its own but the texture is very satisfying because its layered with the applesauce, and the applesauce is delicious because its spiced. Measure with your heart on that also. But whipping egg whites is quite a bit of work and i think i wouldve personally liked this better with vanilla bean icecream? Making it closer to a sundae than Applesnow.

The Mossflower Mulled Cider makes about one large glass, so id recommend making the recipe in a larger quantity just given how long it takes for spices to incorporate. Also, try to shoot for a tall saucepan! I made mine in the same pot i use for pasta and had it been just a wee bit shorter on the walls it wouldve been impossible to stir enough for the sugar to incorporate.

Really excited to get to the last redwall recipe next review! I have some closing thoughts on the book and hopefully it wont take me too long to come out with it. Thank you all so much for reading along this far, it really does mean a lot to me how much folks have enjoyed this series and seeing people save recipes for cooking later :')

I give Applesnow an 8/10, and Mossflower Mulled Cider a 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Applesnow Ingredients:

1 large sauce apple (such as McIntosh or Cortland), peeled, cored, and thinly sliced

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)

Sugar (or other sweetener), to taste

1 egg white (see Note)

NOTE: Raw Egg Whites For most healthy people, the risk of salmonella food poisoning from a fresh egg white is small. To minimize this risk, use the egg white directly from the refrigerator and serve immediately, or, to avoid all risk, substitute powdered egg whites. Follow package directions to reconstitute the equivalent of one white.

Method:

Place the apple slices in a saucepan with the cinnamon, if using, and add 2 tablespoons ofwater. Bring to a boil over medium heat, then cover the pan, reduce the heat, and simmer until the apple goes mushy, 5 to 10 minutes.

Transfer the apple mush to a bowl, add the sugar, and beat until smooth. Let cool.

Just before serving, beat the egg white in a mixer until stiff. Fold the egg white into the apple and serve.

Mossflower Mulled Cider Ingredients:

2 cups apple cider

3 tablespoons sugar

4 cloves

1 cinnamon stick

Pinch ground allspice

2 slices lime or lemon

Method:

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the cider, sugar, cloves, cinnamon and allspice and stir together until the sugar has dissolved. Continue to heat until the cider reaches a boil.

Take the pan off the heat, cover it, and let sit for 10 to 15 minutes. Strain out the whole spices and serve warm, garnished with a lime or lemon slice

[can-of-w0rmz]

Volume III Chapter IV/V of the original 1818 text of Frankenstein lives in my brain rent free. I need to rant about Clerval’s death or I’ll loose it. (It’s late and I’m exhausted rn so my ass is NOT as coherent and structured as it could be but fuck it we ball)

“He appeared to be a handsome young man, about five and twenty years of age.” MY PRECIOUS BOY

“(…) having brought the body into her house; it was not cold. They put it into a bed, and rubbed it; and Daniel went to the town for an apothecary, but life was quite gone.” HE MIGHTN’T HAVE BEEN DEAD WHEN THEY FOUND HIM BUT IT WAS TOO LATE

“I saw the lifeless form of Henry Clerval stretched before me. I gasped for breath; and, throwing myself on the body, I exclaimed, “Have my murderous machinations deprived you also, my dearest Henry, of life? Two I have already destroyed; other victims await their destiny: but you, Clerval, my friend, my benefactor”——

The human frame could no longer support the agonizing suffering that I endured, and I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions.

A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of death (…)” THE WAY VICTOR REACTS TO AND SPIRALS FROM CLERVAL’S DEATH IS SO MUCH MORE SEVERE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS TO HIM and it’s also an extremely interesting character study to see what happens when the only person he ever really seemed to have a mutual loving and healthy relationship with gets cut out of the picture – Victor’s had his fevers, he’s wallowed, but he always had Clerval to draw him from his wallowing and to nurse him back to health. So what happens when Clerval’s death is the cause of that anguish? THE DRAMA THE ANGST I love these silly little gothic losers to death but watching Frankenstein grieve over the passing of who was pretty much essentially his lover is fascinating to me and it SHOWS how much Frankenstein adores Clerval through the latter’s death. THE MAGNITUDE OF HIS GRIEF IS A TESTAMENT TO THEIR LOVE oml i can’t rn frfr THEYRE SO GAY AND SO GOTHIC I CAN NOT

“Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest?” “I thank you; but all that you mention is nothing to me: on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving.” “(…)surely I should have died on the coffin of Henry.” AGAIN Victor’s absolute grief tearing himself up over it

“As my sickness quitted me, I was absorbed by a gloomy and black melancholy, that nothing could dissipate. The image of Clerval was for ever before me, ghastly and murdered.” “Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry, languishing in death, the dark orbs nearly covered by the lids, and the long black lashes that fringed them.” Again what I said about his grief being a testament to their love bro, REMINISCING ABOUT HIS DEAD LOVER AND HIS BEAUTY EVEN IN DEATH WHILE GRIEVING HIM I CANT BRO

“Ah! my father, do not remain in this wretched country; take me where I may forget myself, my existence, and all the world.” HERE’S THE START OF HIM PUSHING AWAY THE MEMORY AND TRYING TO SUPPRESS IT BECAUSE THE GRIEF IS TOO SEVERE and that is SO interesting for how he shifts his tone with Elizabeth and puts up that fake demeanour of wanting to marry her because he thinks it’ll make HER happy even though both of them describe dreading the wedding, also possibly another argument for the legitimacy of reading Clerval and Frankenstein’s relationship as romantic – in order to forget him, he assigns himself to the role given to him as a child by marrying Elizabeth and gives up whatever he hope he had (possibly discouraged from Clerval being murdered as a response to Victor refusing to finish the Bride and subject her to the same fate as him and Elizabeth to the Creature, a pact made without her knowledge or consent, an arranged marriage. Where has spiting that tradition led him? Where has him standing up to the shroud of his mother’s dying wishes, hanging over him the entire novel thus far, led him, by refusing to force the Bride into an arranged marriage with the Creature, as he was with Elizabeth? To the death of the one man he truly loved. So fuck it, right? He can at least “make his dear cousin happy” and not die spiting the one thing he was meant to do – make his mother proud from beyond the grave by marrying Elizabeth.)

“the wind that blew me from the detested shore of Ireland(…)” sorry my country traumatised you bro (I mentioned to one of my teachers while explaining the plot of Frankenstein to them, as you do, that this chapter takes place in Ireland and the “god damn ok” face was priceless)

“I was deceived by no vision, and that Clerval, my friend and dearest companion, had fallen a victim to me and the monster of my creation. I repassed, in my memory, my whole life; my quiet happiness while residing with my family in Geneva, the death of my mother, and my departure for Ingolstadt. I remembered shuddering at the mad enthusiasm that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous enemy, and I called to mind the night during which he first lived. I was unable to pursue the train of thought; a thousand feelings pressed upon me, and I wept bitterly.” HE’S TRYING SO DESPERATELY TO LEAVE IT BEHIND AND TO REPRESS IT but now he’s left Ireland and he’s no longer feverish, the clarity washes over him and he can’t do anything except just lie there and cry over everything that’s happened AND MY POOR LAD HE CANT EVEN CONTINUE BEYOND THE POINT OF THE CREATURES REANIMATION BECAUSE THOSE FEELINGS PRESS DOWN ON HIM AND CROWD HIM AND OVERWHELM HIM AND HE JUST BREAKS INTO SOBS

And what happens after “the night during which he first lived”?

He’s saved from his own downward spiral by Clerval.

What’s he doing now?

Going on a downward spiral.

Where’s Clerval?

Dead.

“Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum; for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life. Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes, I now took a double dose, and soon slept profoundly. But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me.” And Christ above THIS LINE, not only can he now physically not sleep at night after what happened, but he’s gotten into the habit of drug use over it – which wouldn’t have been too bizarre by Victorian standards, but in the 18th century, laudanum wasn’t administered nearly as liberally and was mostly used for surgery, from what I can find, anyway. Not to mention that fact that he starts double dosing on it as the memories come back to him – his grief starts getting to the point where he’s using drug use in order to cope, but it hardly matters as his torment follows him to sleep.

“We had resolved not to go to London, but to cross the country to Portsmouth, and thence to embark for Havre. I preferred this plan principally because I dreaded to see again those places in which I had enjoyed a few moments of tranquillity with my beloved Clerval. I thought with horror of seeing again those persons whom we had been accustomed to visit together, and who might make inquiries concerning an event, the very remembrance of which made me again feel the pang I endured when I gazed on his lifeless form in the inn at ——.” THIS LINE LIVES IN MY BRAIN. RENT FREE. HOW COULD SHELLEY HAVE CUT THIS OUT OF THE 1831 PUBLICATION THIS IS SO GOLDEN DEAR LORD I ADORE THEM.

“MY BELOVED CLERVAL”

BUT ALSO AGAIN we’ve got Frankenstein trying SO desperately to forget everything, and he knows that he can’t face the people who knew Clerval or he’d break down. And I love the way this version continues on his grief to the next chapter – it’s not done and dropped, its ongoing and it plagues him, and it will plague him as long as he lives. I wonder what would happen if he did go through London, if he did meet those people again. Would things have turned out differently? Would he finally have been given a sense of comfort and clarity through mutual grief, as nobody so far since Henry’s death and for the rest of the book, except the creature, ironically, has grieved for Clerval except for Frankenstein. If he met people who took as fondly to Clerval as he did, at least on meeting him briefly, who would have sympathy towards Victor – would he finally have that space to grieve for him in a healthy way, to be comforted by people who at least vaguely understand a fraction of his anguish?

The way Victor Frankenstein BREAKS after the death of Henry Clerval is one of the most fascinating and endearing parts of the novel that completely lives in my head rent free. He spirals, he becomes ill, he becomes deeply suicidal and depressed, he begins drug misuse – and adaptations have the sheer balls to cut Clerval out of the story altogether.

…..”My beloved Clerval” HELP ME HE ACTUALLY SAID IT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[quodekash]

whoop im back (was stressed and forgot to post my thoughts), here's we are episode whatever-last-week-was

we’re like 5 mins in and im already on the verge of tears, i just love this show so much

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE THAT WAS SO FUCKING TENDER

“i want to be water. i want to be the reason you feel good” WHAT THE FUCK DUDE DONT MAKE ME SOB LIKE THAT

WTF THAT WAS THE CUTEST MOST TENDER LITTLE CHEEK KKSS I EVER SAW

WE’RE 10 MINS IN AND THEYRE ALREADY KISSING

I KNOW THEYRE THE MAIN COUPLE AND THEY FINALLY FIGURED OUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER BUT HOLY FUCKIGN SHIT THAT MIGHT BE A RECORD

i do love it tho

frankly i quite enjoy when they kiss

AND THEY KISS A G A I N ????

DUDE WTF

GENUINELY THIS MIGHT BE A RECORD

there’s something so beautiful about being fully clothed in a pool with your crush, kissing him passionately twice, and then pushing him away and splashing him with water and it immeditaely turns into a water-splashing-fight

they just made out twice in that photo

I just love it

I fucking love toey so much, just skateboarding right into his (unofficial) boyfriend’s class

bro this ep so far has just been fluff after fluff after fluff, my heart can barely take it

ITS A BABY BIRD

HE FOUND A BABY BIRD

OR MAYBE A HURT BIRD

HOLY SHIT IM DEFINITELY GONNA CRY

HE NAMED IT PENGUIN 😭😭😭

idk much about fnaf but this feels fnaf coded somehow

NO STOP ITS TOO DOMESTIC

I JUST STOPPED CRYING ABOUT THE BIRD

FUCK

I LOVE FLUFF SO MUCH

phUM-

thEYRe SO fuCKKIN G DOmesTIC

(need y'all to know that those two messages when spamming my friend were four minutes apart)

I LOVE IT WHEN MY CHARACTERS ARE COMMUNICATING

IT MAKES ME STIM HARDER THAN WHEN THEY KISS

I JUST GET ALL GIDDY WHEN THEYRE BEING HEALTHY IN THERI RELATIONSHIPS

...you mean lady and the tramp????

HIS GIDDY LITTLE EXXPRESSION AS HIS BOYFIREND DANGLES A LITTLE PIECE OF SPAGHETTI OVER HIS FACE GIJKERGSB

THEY KISSEEEE

theres so many kisses and so much communication in this episode, i might actually die

AAAAAA TANFANG ARE FUCKING BOYFRIENDS GEIRJDGBRJKBGJR

theyre also fucking

well like. almost.

spicy makeout at the very least

Love that for him

real tho

NO BUT HE TRIES TO CHEERS PUN AND CHAIN, WHO IN A MONUTE AREA BOUT TO LADY AND THE TRAMP UNO SPAGHETTO

WTF MATT

THEY WERE LITERALLY ABOUT AN INCH FROM KISSING

YOU FUCKING RUINED IT MATT

good

WHAT

TF????

I definitely am

story's reactions to phumpeem specifically are sending me

THE WAY HE JUST CHUGS IT

you cant tell me that shriek wasnt "FUCKING CALLED IT"

truly felt it in my soul

I think ive done almost exactly the same thing before when being right about something (because it truly happens very rarely)

Beer’s fully just nodding at them both cos hes known for WEEKS

or at least suspected it

OKAY SO NEXT WEEK: -chainpun are raising Penguin the bird together (holy fucking shit) -q is FINALLY asking toey to proper date him -Q APPEARS TO BE IN A BAND WITH BEER ON DRUMS AND CHAIN ON GUITAR IM GONNA CRY -fang’s hair looks amazing -PHUMPEEM BEACH AND ALOS THERES A HORSE?? -phum hitting on peem literally right in front of q and his expression is priceless

bro literally fangirling so hard rn