#and they were supposed to see and hear stuff

[enmi-land]

#000. PART ONE TEASER

𝓘.──── . . . 𝑀𝗂𝗅𝖺, 𝗈𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗌.

꒰ NOTE ✦ Sorry for the wait but the teaser is finally here! Also, for the sake of the Milaverse, we’re pretending that the COVID lockdown either doesn’t exist, or is over by the beginning of 2022. (It’s up to you which one it is.)

✉️ XO ⸝ MiLA ❪ TEASER ❫ ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ EVENTUAL POLY!OT⑧ 𓈃 TEASER WORD COUNT : 3.4k (FiNAL WORD COUNT : 5-10k) ꗃ ❛ KOR, ENG, JP, CHi ❜ 𝅄CONTAINS. alcohol, jealousy, minor angst, mila is a brat and a bitch (she gets better i promise)

𝓵etters to you. 𓆩♡𓆪 i ⋆ ii ⋆ iii ⋆ iv . . ,

IF FALLING IN LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO HURT, Mila wishes that cupid would have just shot her in the head and not the heart. 

All of Mila’s childhood crushes feel like child’s play compared to this. This ache in the centre of her chest—the tight squeeze around her heart, as if someone’s hand is her ribcage and has their fist wrapped around it. And what did she expect? It’s such a foolish thing to do—falling in love. She knows this.

But like a fool, she fell anyway.

The night has no life left to it—or at least none that Mila can find anyway. The alcohol tastes bitter and even the sound of her upbeat girl group songs in the background doesn’t make it any sweeter.

Mila ignores a warning from Kiara beside her and drinks another glass of soju. The older female has been on her case the entire dinner, and—to spare Mila the impending hangover tomorrow morning, and the embarrassment of anything she may do in her drunken state—has been valiantly attempting to limit the amount of alcohol she consumes.

A difficult undertaking when Mila is determined to drink until she can’t even remember her own name.

Tonight was supposed to be a good one. The collaboration she and Kiara participated in with a senior girl group, Lumine, is sure to bring fresh eyes to their group, and the dinner they were invited to by the said girl group was meant as a friendly way to celebrate their joint success.

She should have known there would be ulterior motives involved.

Mila had eagerly invited her male co-members (the legal ones, anyway, considering there were drinks involved) upon their suggestion, and realised too late that it had been for their own interests rather than Mila and Kiara’s, like they originally said. The Lumine members were all too happy to latch on to them, giggling and batting their eyelashes at them like they were innocent schoolgirls acting coy around their crush.

Well, they’re much too old to be schoolgirls—and much too old for her members. Not that it stopped them from eyeing them like candy.

“You didn’t mention how handsome your members are,” one of them had said upon their arrival. As if Enhypen aren’t idols whose photos are all over the internet, and as if they didn’t suggest inviting them to this dinner so they could have a chance to talk to them.

But that doesn’t seem to matter too much, since most of her male co-members were flattered enough by their extra attention to indulge their flirting more than they’re obligated to.

Well, good for them. At least they’re having fun.

Mila flips a piece of pork on the ignored grill in front of her, and stuffs it into her mouth without caring if it will burn her tongue or not. It tastes burnt, but it’s not like she’s eating for the flavour anymore. Any reminders her manager might have given her about maintaining her diet are lost to her right now.

She can always burn it off in the gym later, just as she always has. This thing she’s feeling in her chest, however, is a different kind of burn than she’s used to.

“You must like going to the gym often,” Mila hears Yerin, the visual of the group, say. “I can tell.”

Mila braves a glance in the older woman’s direction and sees her looking Sunghoon up and down appreciatively. And she can’t blame her. The gains from his hours in the gym can’t be hidden even by the jacket he wears.

Mila has to say, though, that she does envy Yerin in a way. She may not be a traditional visual, but her siren-like gaze is nothing short of hypnotic. The confidence which she can voice her appreciation is something Mila wishes she could have.

Sunghoon clears his throat to mutter a shy, “Thanks.”

Mila doesn’t realise she’s staring so intently until he looks up and catches her gaze, the small smile on his face freezing slightly at whatever expression she’s wearing. She quickly looks down at her cup again, avoiding the questioning look he sends. Instead she eats a small piece of kimchi, chewing on it longer than it needs to be as a weak attempt to seem busy.

Mila decides to tune out of that conversation, before she overhears something she doesn’t want to.

Mila can see Jake stand from the corner of her eye. His seat is between her and Jay, but despite being close, they haven’t had much conversation tonight. So she certainly doesn’t expect him to suddenly lean in close, overwhelming her senses with the scent of his cologne and the feeling of his warm breath on her cheek.

“Did you want anything?” he asks in a whisper.

Mila can feel the way her cheeks start to warm, and shakes her head rapidly to hide them from him. “I’m good.”

She hadn’t even registered his question. Not until there are other voices piping up.

“Thanks again, Jaeyun-ah,” Yui says with a smile. It’s clear that she’s the youngest because she has no difficulty adding a cutesy lilt to her voice. Even more impressive, she actually manages to make it sound natural, and not at all cringey or forced.

Mila almost flinches at the casual use of Jake’s name. It’s been a long time since she’s called him that herself, but only because no one else did, and she didn’t want to be too familiar. Even now that they’re in the same group, she still doesn’t dare call him ‘Jaeyun.’ She didn’t realise he had allowed their seniors to call him that.

“No problem,” he replies. He turns to Mila. “I’ll be back.”

“Mkay,” she mutters.

He’s wearing that smile that never fails to make her stomach twist into knots, and then he’s gone, leaving to do whatever it is that Yui and her unnies convinced him to do. At the same time, Kiara is standing up as well, before leaning down to Mila.

“I’m getting a call, so I’ll just be outside, okay?” Mila nods. Then Kiara is gone, and she’s all alone, feeling like a child at the adult’s table as she looks around her.

Heeseung’s seat is empty, since he left to go to the bathroom not long ago. The others have gone back to conversing as if she’s not there, and then Mila is back to looking down at her bowl of rice in front of her, wondering why she’s even here to begin with.

Being the Gen-Z’er that she is, Mila’s first instinct is to reach for her phone. As if by god’s timing, the screen lights up and she sees a text from Sunoo, who had to pass on her invitation because of prior arrangements with family.

(Thank goodness for it. Mila is already struggling as things are; she doesn’t think she’d be able to handle any of the Lumine members making moves on her soulmate, too.)

心肝☀️: how’s the dinner going?

Mila can’t bring herself to tell the truth, so she lies instead.

You: it’s okay You: all the adults are talking so i just left for a bit  心肝☀️: sorry byeol-ah 心肝☀️: i wish i could be there You: it’s okay You: hope you had a good night with your family ^.^ 心肝☀️: it was good! i’ll tell you more about it later 心肝☀️: i’m in the taxi now 心肝☀️: apparently we’re going to go past the restaurant you’re at

Mila perks up at this.

You: if that’s the case do you want to go home together??

It may be selfish and rude, but it’s better than being here.

心肝☀️: of course!!! 心肝☀️: but don’t you want to go stay back? 心肝☀️: i thought you liked lumine-sunbaenim ㅇㅁㅇ

Right. Mila mentally scoffs. That was before the disaster of tonight.

You: i’m just feeling a bit tired ㅠㅠ You: i’ll ask kiara-unnie as well You: she looked like she wanted to go home the whole time ㅋㅋ

That at least is true. Kiara was much quicker to realise the Lumine members’ intentions and acted accordingly, checking her phone every five minutes to see how much time would pass. 

心肝☀️: okay sounds good 心肝☀️: i should be there around five minutes You: see you soon! ^.^

Mila pockets her phone. 

She jolts when she feels a hand on her knee. When she looks up, those dark eyes of Jay’s hold a glimmer of concern. Mila instantly relaxes.

“You haven’t eaten much,” he observes—which Mila finds strange, since she feels like she’s eaten more than she should have, considering the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Are you okay? Do you not like the food?”

Mila shakes her head strongly. She musters a smile, though it must seem pathetic. “No, it’s good! I think I’m just not that hungry…”

“Well, that won’t do at all!” Jingyi, the only Chinese member of Lumine, perks up and places a piece of meat in Mila’s bowl. “Growing girls like you should eat more.”

Mila blinks at the piece of meat, which feels like it's looking back at her tauntingly. “Thanks, Jingyi-jie,” she mutters. Even though I stopped growing a year ago…

“You’ve been drinking a lot, too,” Sara, the oldest Lumine member, continues. “You’re still young, you shouldn’t overdo it.”

Mila feels her lip twitch. Just how young do they think she is?

It’s already bad enough that fans still don’t see her as the adult that she is now. (She’ll forever be their baby, according to them.) But if others continue to treat her like she’s still a child, then won’t her members do the same? And that’s the last thing she wants.

Mila already has to sit here and watch the Lumine members flirt with them, she’d rather choke on the meat Jingyi gave her than endure mothering from the men she’s literally head over heels in love with.

“Sara-sunbae is right.” Jay frowns, and Mila gets the foreboding feeling that he’ll do that thing he does where he frets over her. It had been cute once, but that was before she realised she wanted him to see her as a woman, and not the same fifteen-year-old girl he’s looked out for four years now. 

Sara chuckles. “You can just call me ‘Noona.’ ‘Sunbae’ sounds too formal. And Mila here is like a little sister to me, it’s only right I get along with her oppas.”

Sara then lays a hand on Jay’s shoulder, looking too friendly to be wanting to just ‘get along,’ and the sight of it has Mila clenching a first under the table.

Heeseung chooses that exact moment to return, and slips into his seat next to Ria, the leader of Lumine. He spares a smile at the older woman, before looking at the empty spots next to Mila.

“Where are Jaeyun and Kyunghee?” he asks Jay. But habit, he uses both Jake and Kiara’s Korean names.

“Noona went to answer a phone call, and Jake went to grab something for Yui-sunbae—”

“Ah-ah-ah,” Yui tuts. “It’s ‘Noona’ to you, remember?”

She then laughs in the way that shows just how tipsy she is, and almost falls over if not for Sunghoon reaching out to steady her by placing an arm around her bicep.

“Please be careful,” he says politely, before retracting his hand. But then she topples over and ends up leaning on his shoulder.

“Yah, Yui,” Ria scolds, “Don’t be embarrassing. Sunghoon, please don’t mind her. If she makes you uncomfortable just push her off.”

Sunghoon chuckles. “No, no, it’s okay—I don’t mind.”

Mila bits her lip. She quickly looks away and catches Heeseung’s gaze instead. Or at least tries to. He doesn’t really spare her any looks during this dinner—or at all, really.

It’s one of those things that Mila has just learnt to deal with. The kind and caring Heeseung she’s known since trainee days is still there, but into in the way she’s used to. She doesn’t know exactly what’s changed, but there’s definitely something different in their relationship. It’s much more awkward, much more distant.

“Mila, do you want some of the pork?” Jingyi asks, just as Mila hastily eats the meat she gave her before.

Heeseung replies before Mila can. “You should eat some, too. Here.”

Heeseung piles a piece of pork onto Jingyi’s bowl, and Mila pettily thinks that he didn’t do anything of the sort for her. But then, she’s the one who wants them to treat her less like a dongsaeng, isn’t she? Perhaps she’s getting what she wanted, after all. 

“Ah, thank you.” Jingyi gives a stunning smile, and Mila has a sudden thought that she resembles someone very familiar.

Then it clicks. Of course.

One would think Heeseung would be over his ex-girlfriend by now, but considering how long they had been together, she supposes it’s not too far fetched to think he would look for her in everything he does, even two years after they’ve broken up. It was no secret that the man’s entire world revolved around her.

Mila is willing to bet he still has the bracelet she gave him, too.

She reaches for a drink before the soju bottle is taken away from her sight. She blinks as she looks at Sara.

“Mila, you should slow down a bit,” she chides. “Here have some water.”

Mila feigns a smile. She doesn’t want water, she wants alcohol, damn it! “It’s fi—!”

“No, she’s right.” Mila looks at Heeseung in surprise. He’s looking at her sternly. A huge contrast to how he’s been looking at the Lumine members—or anyone for that matter—since the dinner started. “Don’t overdo it. You have a schedule tomorrow.”

No, because what the hell is his problem? He’s been giving her hot and cold treatment for the past month or so, and has been doing fine at pretending she’s not here tonight. But when he does decide to address her, it’s to chastise her in front of everyone?

Mila frowns. “I know my limits. I’ll be fine.”

Is this really the right time and place to be giving into her pent-up frustrations and showing attitude? No. But she’s not exactly in the right mind to be rational.

“It’s not a good look if you turn up with a hangover,” Heeseung says, firmer.

“I’ve been fine without you supervising me in the past,” Mila snaps. “I don't need your advice.”

There’s a tense silence. Heeseung rolls his jaw, and gives her The Look. Mila glares back like the petulant brat she knows she’s being, and ignores his face to call the staff over for another drink.

Heeseung lets out a deep sigh, and Jingyi looks at him from the corner of her eye, not sure what to make of the sudden shift in mood. Yerin has a hesitant smile on her face. But the older woman quickly regains composure and clears her throat. “Well, it looks like we’re running low on meat—I’ll call over the staff to get us some more.”

Sunghoon furrows his eyebrows and nudges Mila’s foot discreetly. He mouths, ‘What’s with you?’

What’s with her?

What’s with her?

Mila doesn’t even know how to begin to answer that question. She can feel her blood start to rush beneath her skin, and she doesn’t even know the reason why.

She’s annoyed, she’s mad—but she feels like crying at the same time. 

Maybe there really is something wrong with her. But, well, she should have realised that after falling for not one, not two, but seven people at the same time.

Jay furrows his eyebrows. He opens his mouth to say something, but Jake returns at that very second, holding a woman’s jacket in his hand. “I got your jacket, Yui-sunbae.”

The said woman beams up at Jake and receives it gratefully. “Thank you, Jaeyun. Sorry to bother you.”

“That’s okay—woah!” Jaeyun sweeps in with a heroic catch as Yui stumbles on her feet in an attempt to put her jacket on. “Be careful!”

Yui simply giggles drunkenly and pats Jaeyun on the chest. “You’re so strong, wahhh...”

Mila’s lips are pressed into a thin line. Now this is getting too much for her liking. She doesn’t hear anything else that’s being said, because she’s trying to calm down the emotions that poke and prod at her from the inside, begging to be let out in the ugliest way possible.

Mila doesn’t care. She can’t be in this room anymore.

She suddenly stands from her seat, drawing all eyes at the table to her. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

She storms off. She almost bumps into a woman leaving the bathroom and spares a thin, but hopefully friendly, smile before she goes right to the stall at the very end, and locks herself inside.

The alcohol does not pair well with the boiling jealousy in her gut, and she finds herself hunched over the toilet seat, throwing up every bit of food she’s had in the last hour. It’s not a pretty sight. She’s lurching, her shoulders shaking and her eyes watery as bile burns the back of her throat.

Mila may be dramatic, but this might possibly be the worst night ever. 

She has to drag herself out of the stall and towards the sink, where she grimaces at her reflection. So much for being a visual, she thinks. She looks like the average college student after a night of no sleep, three cans of coffee, and a simmering desire to just quit everything and work on a remote farm for nothing more than sleeping quarters and food.

She takes a deep breath as she observes her reflection. Her visuals have always been praised by netizens for seeming so youthful and refreshing, yet she can’t help but feel that everything about her feels too…girlish. The baby fat on her cheeks, the roundness of her eyes, and just her look in general.

Mila reaches up to the back of her head and plucks the white satin bow that she used to pin up half her hair. She shakes her head, allowing the black strands to fall in waves around her face. She turns the bow over in her hands and bites the inside of her cheek. 

She sighs. It’s not like getting rid of the bow will make her look any more mature, considering she’s been acting like a brat. As she thinks back to her petty remarks, she starts to feel belated embarrassment creep under her skin.

I’m so pathetic, Mila bemoans as she shakes her hands dry at the sink. Why did I say that?

Mila is so caught up in her thoughts she doesn’t notice Kira until she almost bumps into her on the way out of the bathroom. She decides to tell the older female about her conversation with Sunoo over text, only to find that Kiara already had a similar idea.

“Apparently the Lumine manager had to go home all of a sudden for an emergency and asked our manager to help drop them back off to their dorms.”

Well, Mila can’t be upset over that. She’s aware of just how dangerous the world is for women. As much as she was annoyed by the Lumine members tonight, she wouldn’t wish any harm on them.

Their manager, Juri, finds the girls and discusses a quick plan away from the others.

“Okay, if Mila goes with Sunoo I’ll worry less,” Juri says. “Then I can take Kiara and the Lumine members, and the boys can take taxis home when they’re done.”

“Okay, then that settles it.” Kiara gestures to Mila. “When will Sunoo get here?”

Mila quickly takes her phone out of her pocket. She opens the most recent message from Sunoo. “He said he’s pulling up now.” She types a quick reply and turns to leave. “I’ll go meet up with him—you tell the others about the plan.”

“Yah!” Kiara reprimands as she speeds off. “You should say goodbye to the others, first!”

Mila waves a hand in dismissal over her head. “It’s fine. They won’t even notice I’m gone.”

She doesn’t know whether to be grateful or sad about that.

taglist⠀( OPEN ! ) ⦂ @em1ejiee @menichoi @dracoslovergirl @rosas-in-the-garden @blossominghunnie @lovelypham @cornenhapovs @nee-issaire @jwnstars @tommina @queenriki7 @onlyuyu @enhaverse713586

[bitchesuntitled]

Broken Hearts Mended

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ Minors, get out! Language(at this rate, just expect it. That's just me), Pregnancy, Dieter trying to fix his past, sad!Dieter, dad!Dieter, smut, pinv, oral(m!recieving), wedding crasher!Dieter, TIME TRAVEL, OFC

a/n: This is for the Roll-A-Trope Challenge by @burntheedges I got Time Travel! Never dabbled with that before but it was fun and sheesh, Kate- this is the longest story I've ever written! This could be considered a part two of Some Broken Hearts Never Mend but can be read as a standalone! The OFC is based off my bestie IRL @hessofather - thank you for being you, for helping me with the witchy stuff, and love ya bitch! Thank you @beefrobeefcal and @jay-zzle(for the moodboard &) for your eyes on this one! Love you both!

Masterlist||AO3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

He’d been staring at the clock for an eternity or what felt like an eternity. Today was the day, the day Dieter’s been dreading since he found out. 

Today is your wedding day.

In typical Hollywood fashion, a friend of a friend let it slip when the wedding was. Saturday afternoon, 3 pm to be exact. Mark was supposed to be on standby to ensure Dieter stayed at home today and didn’t do something stupid, but what Mark didn’t expect was to be locked in the pantry with Dieter sitting outside.

“Dieter, come on man,” Mark pleaded, “Think about this before you do something dumb.”

“Would it really be that bad if I went?!”

“Yes,” Mark sighed, “Dieter, you need to let her go. If you go to that hotel all that will happen is you make a fool of yourself and embarrass her!”

“Embarrass her?!” Dieter scoffs, looking at the closed door with offense. “I got sober for fucks sake! For her and she didn’t even let me see my kid! Instead that bastard is playing daddy to my Lexi! My peanut!”

“Dieter!” Mark shouts, slamming his fists against the door, “Let me out and let’s talk face-to-face about this.”

“Sheesh Mark, calm down,” Dieter says, glancing at the clock, “If I go, maybe she’ll see me and remember how much she loved me. I gotta try right?”

“Dieter, please,” Mark sighs, “Don’t do this. It’s not a good idea.”

“I have to try, Mark.”

“Damn it, Dieter!”

More punches are being thrown at the pantry door as Dieter slowly backs away from it.

“If I don’t try now, I’m just going to spend the rest of my life wondering what if!” Dieter shouts, “Mark, you gotta understand that man.”

—

Dieter was able to bribe a waiter into letting him in through the kitchen, he had tried the front but the hotel staff quickly guided him right back through the front door. The place was gorgeous, decked in all navy blue, gold, and white, and the flower petals spread down the aisle he stood in front of. Joel is standing next to the officiant, fiddling with the gold cufflinks on his wrists. The bridal song began and everyone looked back at Dieter.

He stood there frozen, unsure of what to do until he heard the door behind him open, he turned slowly. There you were, standing before him in a gorgeous flowy white gown.

“Dieter?” You asked, confusion painted across your face before it turned into a silent rage.

“I- I need-“ he began, trying to think of what to say.

“Jesus Christ,” your father muttered under his breath before shouting for security.

“Wait-“ Dieter gasped, as two men in suits grabbed his arms pulling him towards the hall, “Please! Let me just ha-“

“Wait!,” you shout panicked, before clearing your throat, “Sorry everyone,” you announce, “Let me just take care of this real quick then we’ll be ready to get this wedding started.”

Dieter was dumbfounded. You were actually going to listen to him. You wanted to hear what he had to say. He knew it! He still had a chance. You let go of your dad’s arm and looped it around Dieter’s, leading him out into the hallway with a polite reassuring smile to your guests.

In another life, this would be the way it went. You in your gorgeous wedding dress, walking down an aisle on his arm, smiling politely to your guests before he whisked you away to ravish you the entire night. Once the doors closed, you stepped away from him clearing your throat.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing here?” You hiss, the rage in you tipping over its boiling point.

“I wanted to-“ he starts softly before you interrupt him again.

“Wanted what Dieter?!” You seethe, “Did you not feel it was enough when you showed up at my home? My work? Lexi’s fucking school?”

“I didn’t think-“ he winces, knowing immediately those are the wrong words with the laugh you let out.

“No Dieter, you didn’t fucking think,” you scoff, “You’ve spent the past six years not fucking thinking and it’s shown plenty!”

“Baby-“ Dieter tries again.

“Don’t you dare call me that!” You stop him, “Dieter, you need to leave. I’m marrying Joel and Lexi finally has a dad who wants her and loves her.”

“But I do love her,” Dieter says, tears blurring his vision, “That’s why I stayed away from you both. I love you both so much, I didn’t want you wrapped up in my shit and I’m trying to change!”

You shake your head with a sigh.

“You just have to give me another chance,” he whimpers, the tears steadily falling down his face.

“No,” you say quietly, “You’ve had enough chances.”

—

You were officially done with his shit and let him know he’d be hearing from your lawyers on Monday. His heart broken, his mind felt numb, and Dieter’s legs began to move. He felt like pins and needles were pricking all over his skin, trying to ignore the feeling, he began to speed up. He’d be fine as long as he kept moving. His chest felt like there was a weight on it, trying to catch his breath.

He needed to find somewhere with air conditioning, maybe it’s the heat finally getting to him. Standing outside a store called Vixen’s. Huh, he thought, a sex shop would be the perfect way to distract his mind. A dinging sound chimes as he enters the store.

“Good afternoon!” A cheery feminine voice calls out from the back, “I’ll be right with you.”

Dieter stood next to a counter, focusing on his breathing. The place smelled like sage, rose, and lavender. This was definitely not a sex shop. His hands held onto the counter in front of him as he closed his eyes and took in the sweet aroma of the shop. Whatever it was, it was working to help calm him down.

“Sir?” A feminine voice called out to him, “Ya alright?”

Dieter looked towards the voice to see a short woman with auburn hair standing next to a door that stated Employees Only. He gave a short nod, signaling he was okay. He just had to focus on his breathing.

“Fuck!” She gasped, flailing her hands in the air, “It’s you! C’mere!”

“Huh?” Dieter asked in confusion, trying to catch his breath.

“C’mere!” She said more sternly, motioning for him to follow her, “Been expectin’ you to show up any day now and you’re finally here!”

Dieter began to follow the stranger apprehensively down a hall, passing multiple doors, as she began to talk more.

“The names’ Willow Vixen. Now that you’re here, maybe I can finally stop using the rose.” She states, wrinkling her nose, “Not my favorite but that’s what the ball suggested for your arrival. Considering it doesn’t give me much of a time frame I figured fuck it and just started making sure it was around at all times.”

“Ball?” Dieter asks, his legs taking over, continuing to follow Willow until they meet a door that has her name on it, “I’m sorry but do I know you?”

“Not yet, Dieter,” Willow hums, grabbing a key ring from her belt loops, and unlocking the door, “When we get inside I’ll explain.”

Once she opened the door, he was hit with a powerful smell of sage and rosemary. She ushered him in, closing the door behind her.

“Sit,” she commanded, pointing to a table in the middle of the room.

He wasn’t sure what he was even doing here. Following a stranger into some back room of a store sounded like the beginnings of some ritual sacrifice and by the way her office was set up, it looked like it, too.

The room was dim before Willow fluttered about lighting candles while humming, beginning to shed more light on her space. He could see a table covered in an emerald green cloth with four chairs surrounding it, and a crystal ball sat upon a perch in the middle of it with dozens of candles surrounding it.

“So… uh,” Dieter hesitates, hands scrubbing through his hair. The fuck is he doing here? He should leave. Willow continues to hum while she lights more candles by a thick open book sitting on a desk, flipping through the pages before she stops.

“Ah-ha!” She announces with a joyous clap, “Would ya look at that! Found it on the first try.”

She looks up to see Dieter still standing by the door with a nervous energy about him.

“Gah damn it, Dieter,” she grumbles, approaching him, “Ain’t gonna hurt ya. I’m here to help ya. Now go on, sit,” Ushering him to the table, lightly patting him on the shoulders, “Let me just get a few more things ready before I truly start this process, alright?”

“Help me?” He asks, watching Willow move in the space around them. She grabbed a bottle and began spritzing it around the chair he sat in.

“Duh, I told ya,” Willow said with a raised eyebrow smirking, “Oh wait, maybe I didn’t? Did I?”

Dieter looked at her in bewilderment, continuing to watch as she placed the spray bottle of liquid beside him and grabbed incense instead, placing them in their holders and lit them.

“T- tell me what?” He asked nervously, placing his hands in his lap and beginning to fidget with his fingers.

“My apologies, sir.” Willow bows, “I am a witch! Well, kind of a-a witch. I’m a witch practicin’. My great great great great grandma was one and it kinda skipped a generation or two cause my folks decided we should follow Jesus instead. Ya in any sort of religion? I’ve been involved with… too many.”

Dieter shakes his head. Fuck, this is how it ends, he was right. She’s gonna sacrifice him.

“I’m spraying lavender right now to try and get your ass to calm down,” she states matter of factly picking the bottle up again, Dieter flinches when she sprays some directly onto his hair, “Your energy is thick with nerves. Now what was I sayin’?” She asked, stopping in place and staring at the table cloth.

“Oh yeah! Sorry, I have a disorder where my memory ain’t the best. Think Dory from Findin’ Nemo,” Willow smiles brightly, “I’m a witch and this here crystal ball-” she taps a finger against the clear ball in the middle of the table, “-showed me to be expectin’ ya.”

“Sh-showed you?” Dieter asks, cocking his head to the side with wide eyes.

“Yeah!” Willow exclaims, “Showed me you comin’ here, us doing some magic and then you fuckin’ off to whatever it is you’re tryin’ to change!”

“Wait,” Dieter stops, eyes widening, “What am I changing?”

“Beats me,” Willow shrugs, fanning the incense around before plopping down in the chair across from him, “Alls I know is I’m supposed to help ya get there.”

Dieter looks at her and then the ball in between them. It starts sparkling inside as the clear crystal becomes dense with a weird purple fog, swirling around the inside of the crystal.

“Oh shit! It’s doin’ the thing again!” Willow shrieks in excitement, bouncing in her chair, “I told ya the thing showed me what I needed to do! Maybe it’s trying to show you what you need to do.”

Dieter stares at the ball before the swirling fog reveals you lying in your shared bed years ago. He remembers this morning clear as day, it’s the morning before he went to that stupid party and relapsed.

“It’s her,” he chokes back a sob, “What kind of sick fucking trick is this?!”

“It’s not a trick!” Willow protests, “I’m tellin’ the truth! Just watch the damn thing!”

Dieter continues watching the fog swirl within the ball, seeing himself join you in bed. Dieter perks up as he watches himself undress you and begin worshiping you like the goddess you are. Willow clears her throat turning her head.

“Ope,” she murmurs, cheeks becoming flaming red, peering at the ceiling out of privacy, “Don’t think I’m supposed to watch this bit.”

Dieter is entranced, watching the two of you, reliving that entire day. Except in this version he never leaves the house, he stays home with you instead. That’s what he should have done, stay home and hang out with you instead of go to that stupid fucking party.

The purple fog disappears and the crystal becomes clear again, leaving Dieter even more confused.

“Wait!” He shouts, gripping the ball with both hands, “Come back! Show me more!”

“Now hold on just a damn minute,” Willow scolds, pushing his hands off the ball, “Don’t break my damn ball. It’s the only one I got.”

“But I want to see more,” Dieter lets out a pathetic whine, “How can I see more. Make it show me!” He demands.

“Not how it works, bub,” Willow huffs, “But, from the looks of it that’s where the ball wants me to send you.”

“S-s-send me?” Dieter stutters out with a scoff, “How are you gonna send me back to the happiest time of my life?”

“Time travel, duh,” Willow snorts, “The hell do you think you showed up here for?”

He looks at her with bewilderment. How the fuck is this girl supposed to help him go backwards in time?

“Now, now,” Willow says, clicking her tongue in annoyance, “I recognize that look. Ya don’t believe me,” she adds with a roll of her eyes, “I’ve got everything ready.”

She stands making her way to a small tea kettle, filling it with water from a jug before placing it on her desk beside the book. Willow moves through her office with a practiced ease, opening and closing cabinets, grabbing the things she’ll need for this ritual. Taking one last glance at the book on her desk before clearing her throat.

“Now, I’m gonna brew this tea for you to drink. It’s got some cloves, rosemary, garlic and cinnamon in it,” she explains, plunking and sprinkling the herbs in the kettle, “Oh shit!” She laughs, opening a desk drawer to pull out a small hot plate, “Ain’t gonna get very far without boilin’ it.”

Dieter watches as she softly hums, flitting about the room as the tea gets ready.

“Now, I got white sage and mullein burning already,” Willow explains pointing at each, “Helps with clarity.”

He nods, still confused and a little scared. He has no clue how this is supposed to actually work. Time travel isn’t real, this isn’t some movie like Back to the Future. Although, he thinks tilting his head, would be pretty cool to drive the DeLorean. His thoughts are interrupted by Willow chanting something over the tea right as the kettle lets out a shrill whistle. Willow pours the tea into a little cup bringing it over to the table, placing it in front of Dieter.

“Ain’t gonna lie to ya,” Willow grimaces, “Probably gonna be nasty as fuck with the herbs I had to use but it’s what the book said to use.”

“Probably not the worst thing I’ve ever ingested,” Dieter shrugs, “So how’s this work? Do I just drink it?”

Willow nods, “I said the spell, I have the scents going, all you have to do is keep an open mind,” she continues with a smile.

Dieter nods, staring at the cup. What’s the worst that could happen? His life is already fucked. At least he can say he tried if it doesn’t work, grabbing the cup and downing the drink. Willow was right- it’s rancid, he begins to cough placing the cup back on the table.

“Now what?” Dieter asks with a grimace, glancing at Willow.

“Now,” a grin spreads across her face, “We wait.”

- - -

The sun’s rays shone through the curtains causing Dieter to wince as he woke the next morning. How was he supposed to know if the ritual worked? Willow said they just had to wait. Wait for what though? Hearing a soft groan next to him he peeked one eye open at the sound, looking around he noticed this wasn’t his room. Well, more so not his room anymore. The soft yellow walls and white curtains had all been replaced after you left with dark grays.

Glancing next to him, he felt like his heart stopped. There you were, snoring softly next to him. Maybe he was dreaming and his mind decided to torture him, it wouldn’t be the first time it had happened but then you reached for him. Your hand laying on his chest above his heart. Dieter didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, shout with joy or all three at the same time. His palm reaches out, gently touching your face.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers to your sleeping form as he rubs the apple of your cheek with his thumb, “I was such a fucking idiot.”

You crinkle your nose and let out a huff as you sleep. A grin plastered across his face, he can’t believe it actually worked. If he ever sees Willow again he’s going to have to thank her. She may not know what for, with traveling back in time, but he’ll thank her anyway. 

“You’re staring,” you let out a sleepy grumble.

“Can’t help it,” Dieter whispers, grinning like an idiot. You open an eye to look at him, raising your brows.

“Why are we whispering?” You giggle, scooting closer to lay your head on his chest, listening to the thump of his heartbeat.

Dieter takes a deep breath into your hair, shrugging his shoulders, wrapping his arms around you and holding you tight. Afraid if he loosens his grip you’ll be gone again. His hands begin to roam under your shirt, feeling the softness of your skin, the roundness of your belly. You’re still pregnant, grinning to himself as he sits up and moves you to lay on your back, rubbing his hands down to your hips. You’d always complained of them hurting with the added weight of Peanut, their little Lexi who would be coming into this world.

“Mmm,” you let out a soft moan, as his hands gingerly massage your hips, your fingers digging into his thigh, “Dieter.”

He couldn’t stop smiling, unable to believe this is actually happening again. Being with you, being back in your shared home, being here during the happiest time of his life. Dieter leans over your belly, pulling up your shirt to expose your bump, placing a soft kiss there.

“I love you,” he breathes out, his voice cracking before trying to get a grip on his emotions. 

“Babe?” You ask, concern lacing your voice as you reach for him, “What’s wrong?”

“Missed you,” he says, kissing your bump again, “Both of you.”

“Babe,” you laugh, “All we did was go to sleep.”

“Yeah,” Dieter huffs, rolling his eyes, “Just went to sleep,” he hums, lifting your shirt more to uncover your breasts, his lips placing a trail of open mouthed kisses until he meets one of your nipples, sucking it into his mouth. You let out a soft hiss as your fingers tangle in the soft waves of his hair. There’s one thing Dieter knows he can’t fuck up, sex. He’ll figure the rest out later.

You moan as he spends equal time on each of your breasts, sliding a hand down your front into your underwear. Dieter lets out a groan when he feels the wetness already collected there. He needs this, to you it was yesterday, to him it’s been six years since he’s felt you around his cock.

“I need you,” Dieter grunts, pushing you on your side, flopping down behind you and pushing his boxers down. His stiff member pushing into your ass.

“Jesus, Dee,” you giggle as he quickly pushes your underwear down enough to get to your core, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Please don’t,” he whispers into your neck, slipping his length between your folds, coating himself in your arousal. Dieter grips his dick, slowly pushing into you, simultaneous moans spilling from both of you.

“Fuck, baby,” you moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder, “So fucking big.”

Dieter pants, feeling your walls constrict around him, stopping himself when he’s fully sheathed inside of you. He doesn’t want this to end before it’s even begun.

“Oh god,” he whimpers, grabbing your hand, lacing your fingers together, “Missed this.”

“Dieter,” you pant, hips squirming against him, “I need you to move, baby.”

He nods against your head, slowly pulling out, his tongue laving against your pulse point as he sharply pushes back in.

“Fuck,” you cry out, gripping his hand tighter. He knows it’s your favorite so he keeps the same rhythm, pulling out slowly before plunging back in. He can’t stop the words flowing from his mouth as he thrusts into you. His pace grows quicker as he speaks.

“Please don’t leave me,”

“I need you,”

“I love you,”

“I won’t fuck up again,”

“I promise,”

“I love you.”

Every phrase punctuated with a sharp thrust into your wet heat, producing a moan from your lips.

“Dieter,” you moan, “I’m gonna come, baby, I’m gonna-“

Dieter can feel the fluttering of your walls, gripping you tighter he moves faster, unable to control himself any longer.

“Fuck,” Dieter groans, “Look at me, baby.”

Your head lolling against his shoulder as his hips snap into you, he grips your face turning you to face him. Slotting his lips over yours, smothering your cries as your orgasm rips through you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dieter grunts, grinding his hips into you as your walls constrict around him, warm ropes of his come painting your insides. He kisses you softly while both of you try to catch your breath.

“You okay?” You ask, eyes gazing up at him.

Dieter nods, keeping his arms wrapped around you.

“Bad dream,” he murmurs into your hair.

“I’m sorry babe,” you give him a sympathetic smile, giving him a quick kiss before moving off of him with a hiss, “Wanna go look at stuff for the nursery?”

“Hmm,” Dieter hums, wrapping his arms around you again before you can leave the bed, “Let’s stay in bed all day.”

“We just woke up,” you squeak out with a giggle, as he pulls you back against him, “Already need a nap?”

“After that workout?” He laughs, kissing your neck, “Uh… yeah!”

Dieter’s eyelids are heavy. He felt calm, more at peace than he has been for years, having you back in arms, the comforting weight of you next to him. The hint of your perfume surrounding him, causing him to quickly drift back to sleep.

- - -

“Dieter wake up!” Mark shouts, “Time to go.”

Dieter jumps, how long had he been asleep? The room is dark as Mark flings the gray curtains open allowing the sun to burst in.

“What the fuck?” Dieter groans, covering his face with the pillow next to him, blocking the sun from his eyes. His sleep-addled brain hasn’t registered what’s happened.

“Come on, man,” Mark says more sternly, grabbing the covers to pull off of Dieter, “Gotta get Peanut.”

“Peanut?” Dieter asks, flipping the pillow off his face, sitting up taking in his surroundings, “No, no, no. This isn’t right.”

He looks around at the gray bedding, the curtains, the walls. Where’s your house? He was just there, wasn’t he? Was it just a dream after all?

“Yes. Peanut,” Mark says, giving him a confused look, “Lexi, Your daughter.”

“I know who Peanut is, Mark.” Dieter snaps, “But she won’t let me see her.”

“Dieter,” Mark scolds, “Do not tell me you've been using again.”

“What? No!”

“You’ve had your daughter every other week for years now.” Mark explains, “Are you sure you're not using anything?”

“You mean, I have custody?” Dieter asks, beginning to choke up, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 

Whatever Willow did, it worked, well kind of. If Dieter had some sort of custody of Lexi that means he must have changed something going back in time.

“I gotta go see Willow.”

“Willow?” Mark asks, shaking his head, “Dieter, you don’t have time to go on some wild goose chase looking for whoever it is you’re talking about.”

Dieter rushes out of bed, grabbing random clothes he finds throughout his room to throw on, running down the stairs to find his crocs.

“Dieter!” Mark shouts after him.

“I gotta fix it, Mark,” Dieter yells back, finding his car keys, and opening the front door, “I gotta fix it!”

—

“Willow!” Dieter bellows, bursting into Vixen’s, “It worked! It kind of worked!”

He hears a crash a couple aisles over and a gah-damnit!, before Willow appears at the front of the shop.

“The hell you comin’ in here yellin’ about?” Willow asks, rubbing the top of her head, “You made me drop a jar of Dragon’s blood on my damn head. I do not need any more feminine power right now!”

“Sorry,” Dieter chuckles, “I think we need to do the ritual again. I have custody!” 

“Custody?” Willow asks, confused.

“Custody of my kid, Willow!” Dieter says, gripping her shoulders giving her a little shake, “All I did was fall asleep, had a crazy vivid sex dream about my girl and now I have custody! I’ve never even met my daughter!”

“Alright, alright, alright,” Willow says, wiggling out of his grip, “Don’t touch me and I don’t wanna hear about your weird sex dreams but come on back.”

He follows her through the dark hall, to her office, the white sage and mullein is lit, the tea is brewed while Willow chants the magic words. He chugs it again. The warm liquid tingled in his throat as it went down.

“Not as bad the second time,” he sputters out through a cough, “Should you make extra so I can take it home?”

“Not how it works,” Willow chuckles, “Gonna have to come see me. Door will always be open.”

“I don’t understand how this is working at all,” Dieter admits, “All I did was go to sleep?”

“Maybe in your sleep is when you’re traveling,” Willow shrugs, “I won’t lie, I’m not sure how it works either. Remember, I’m new at this.”

—

Dieter leaves Vixen’s, feeling on top of the world as he makes his way to your house. He cannot believe he’s about to see his kid for the first time, well maybe not the first time but it is for this Dieter. He pulls up to the address he found saved into his phone under your name, taking a deep breath before getting out of his car.

He makes his way to the front door. It’s a different house than the last time he showed up, hoping you’d forgive him for running off and taking forever to get his shit together. Taking a deep breath he presses the doorbell, hearing the chime inside.

“Daddy!” He hears screeched from behind the door before it opens. A little girl looks up at him with wide brown eyes and soft curls.

“You came to get me!” She exclaims, grabbing his hand with both of her little ones and pulling him through the entrance.

“Y-yeah, I did,” Dieter murmurs, unable to stop staring at the back of her head. Her hair bounces with every step she takes as she continues babbling at him about something.

“Hey Dieter,” you smile at him from the couch with a book in your hand, “She’s been super excited for you to get her this week. Thank you again for keeping her an extra week.”

“Extra week?”

“Please don’t tell me you forgot,” you groan, “Dee, you promised me you wouldn’t forget! This is super important! Joel’s taking me to meet his family.”

“Joel?” Dieter asks, clenching his jaw, fingers flexing of his free hand against his thigh. Of course, Joel is still present. 

You study his face, taking in the tension rolling off him in waves, putting your book down and getting off the couch.

“Peanut, baby,” you say in a sweet tone, “Why don’t you go upstairs and get your stuff ready so you can go have fun at Daddy’s?”

“Okay,” she chirps, climbing the steps to the second floor. Leaving the two of you alone.

“Dee?” You ask, approaching him, “You doing okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” Dieter lies with a nod of his head, “Just forgot you have plans next week.”

“Look,” you start, gripping his hand, “I know this whole thing is weird for you but I know one day you’re going to find someone to love,” Dieter’s thumb begins to rub against your fingers softly, noting the absence of a ring on your hand.

“You don’t get it,” Dieter scoffs, shaking his head, “It’s you. I want to be with you.”

“We tried Dieter,” you say, giving him a sympathetic smile, “We just aren’t meant to be.”

- - -

When he wakes next, Dieter is blinded by the brightness of the room, closing his eyes again, not ready to get up.

“Daddy,” a little voice says, poking his cheek with tiny fingers.

He groans feeling a weight on top of his chest. He can hear you humming softly downstairs in the kitchen, little fingers continue poking at his face trying to wake him.

“Peanut,” he chuckles, “Why are you poking my face?”

“Time to wake up!” She announces, standing up on chunky legs before plopping her butt back down. Dieter lets out a grunt before opening his eyes, spotting the soft yellow walls of the room. He can’t stop the smile forming on his face. He’s back to where he wants to be, this timeline seeming to be much better than the present.

“Come here,” Dieter playfully growls, tickling Lexi’s sides. Her high pitched squeals echoing throughout the house.

“Breakfast is ready!”

“Hear that Peanut?!” Dieter asks enthusiastically, “Momma made breakfast!”

“Breakfast!” Lexi shouts, throwing her arms up in the air, “I hungry!”

Dieter scoops her up as he gets out of bed, carrying the toddler with him down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Morning,” you hum, smiling at both of them, “The contractor was supposed to be here earlier but he overslept so said he’d be by soon.”

“Oh?” Dieter asks, setting Lexi down into her booster seat as if he’s done this every day, “Who’d we hire again?”

“Dieter, I swear,” you laugh, rolling your eyes, “You’d be so lost without me.”

“You have no idea,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as he grabs the plates of food you had set out, giving one to Lexi and sitting down next to her to eat his own.

“It’s Miller Bros,” you huff, “And no, they’re not like the Mario Brothers from Nintendo,” you add after seeing Dieter’s head perk up. You always were good about knowing what was on his mind.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Dieter asks, stabbing his fork into the eggs, “Besides the contractor coming, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” you say, shrugging. The rest of the meal went on, the scraping of silverware against plates and random chatter from Lexi the only things to be heard. It was eerie how quiet you were, Dieter stared at you as you scrolled mindlessly on your phone. He can’t pinpoint what’s going on but he feels there is something different here. Lexi finishes her breakfast, scooting off her booster and running off to watch TV.

“Is everything okay?” Dieter asks, fidgeting with the fork in his hand, he can’t risk losing you but he needs to know the answer.

“No,” you admit quietly, “I just- I don’t know what to do anymore Dee.”

“What do you m-“ he tries, the doorbell chiming interrupting his sentence.

“That must be the contractor,” you sigh, “Wanna start the dishes while I get the door?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dieter nods, “Sure.”

He gathers the dishes, rinsing each item before putting them in the dishwasher, hearing you speak with the contractor.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” the contractor says with a gruffness in his voice, “Would’a been here earlier but my idiot brother wrote the time down wrong.”

“No worries,” you reply in a cheery tone, “You deserve the extra sleep, you work so hard.”

Dieter hears a deep chuckle from the man and a thank you, you’re too kind darlin’. It makes his stomach twist, he knows who this is. Joel fucking Miller. Can he not escape this guy?

Dieter slams the dishwasher closed, pacing throughout the kitchen. In his present time, the man is there. Now in his supposed past the man shows up too?! He wishes he could call Willow but a quick google search shows that Vixen’s doesn’t exist just yet, groaning as he tosses his phone onto the counter. What is he supposed to do?

He sees through the doorway how you look at Joel, the sparkle in your eyes, the way you seem almost bashful as Joel continues to talk about the most mundane things. Dieter can’t help the idea that’s popped into his head as he makes his way to the couch, sitting with your shared daughter as she watches cartoons.

It wouldn’t be the craziest thing he suggested, he’s Dieter Bravo. He’s definitely said worse things in interviews. He continues watching the two of you, the slight smirk on Joel’s face, the shy smile gracing your own.

Maybe if you fucked Joel you’d get it out of your system.

Dieter sees the attraction to Joel, of course he does. He’s rough, burly, and has that southern charm about him. The way his shirt hugs his biceps, his jeans clinging to his thighs. Joel clears his throat and Dieter snaps his head up, finding Joel staring directly at him, having been caught ogling he can feel his face turning a shade darker. You smile at Dieter, covering your mouth while a giggle escapes your lips.

“I’m gonna get started on the bathroom,” Joel says, eyeing Dieter on the couch, “Don’t let me interrupt your morning, Hollywood,” he adds with a wink.

You make your way to the couch, curling into Dieter’s side.

“So,” you giggle, with that sparkle still in your eyes, “Joel, huh?”

“Joel,” Dieter smirks, wrapping his arm around you, nodding his head. He brings you closer to his side, kissing your temple, before he scoops Lexi into his other side, keeping both his girls close to him.

- - -

“Dieter,” Mark says, giving Dieter’s shoulder a shove, “Need to wake up, you’re home.”

“Home?” Dieter grumbles, scrubbing his hands down his face, he feels metal on one of his fingers. Eyes popping open, he spots a band on his left hand. Married. He’s married?

“Yeah, home,” Mark chuckles, “And don’t worry. I took care of everything so the three of you could spend some time together for the next couple days.”

Dieter grins, saying your name out loud quizzically, he needs to make sure it worked this time. Mark nods, he gets to spend time with his girls. His girls. Dieter hops out of the car, grabbing the duffle bag from the backseat.

“Thanks for the ride Mark,” he hollers as he makes his way to his front door, shaking with nerves as he stands there. Taking a deep breath he opens the door to find the house covered in darkness, flipping on the light he takes in the room before him. Toys, books, and small shoes scattered around. His smile grows wider as he hears a noise from upstairs.

You must be upstairs waiting for him. Dieter sets his duffle bag down next to the door before flinging his crocs off on his way up the stairs. The door of the master bedroom is opened by a jar and he can hear grunts coming from within.

Fuck, Dieter thinks, manly grunts can only mean one thing.

He tiptoes to the door opening it more, seeing you naked on your knees before Joel. His thick cock in your mouth as you bob your head faster along his length.

“S’it baby,” Joel groans, throwing his head back as you take more of him down your throat, “So fucking good at that.”

You’re moaning as he grips your head, holding you on his cock.

“Fuck,” Dieter whispers, feeling his dick twitch with interest, watching you gag on Joel’s length. Joel’s head snaps towards the doorway.

“Ya just gonna stand there Hollywood or ya gon’ join?” Joel smirks, eyeing Dieter up and down, “We’ve missed you.”

You moan, pulling off Joel's cock with a soft pop, twisting your body to see Dieter.

“Hi baby,” you purr at him, “Glad that you’re home.”

Dieter stands there frozen, watching you stroke Joel’s shaft with a sly grin.

This present time is nice, Dieter thinks with a smirk on his face, I can live with this.

[dollarbils]

i think, therefore i am | b.e.

billie eilish x guitarist-fem!reader

context. billie has a crush on her guitarist

warnings. smut, fingering, flirting, angst kinda, not proof read

request masterlist

the beat dropped and she glanced towards you, to make sure you were watching her, like she always did. she’d interact with you as you strummed the guitar, trying to focus on plucking the strings instead of her fingers running across your jaw. in front of thousands of people. you loathed her for it, she’d do it every time and ignore you afterwards, no longer giving you the attention she’s so happily willing to give when it’s for entertainment.

after the show you were headed to the bathroom, needing to refresh yourself with some water. you hadn’t expected to see her there, in the bathroom fixing herself up too. you ignored her, assuming she’d ignore you in return. but this time, she didn’t.

“you were incredible tonight.” she complimented, you were taken aback completely, never having had a positive interaction with her.

“thank you?” you were hesitant to say much more but she eyed you as if she expected you to continue. “so were you.” you added before turning the tap on to splash your face with some water.

“well don’t seem so surprised. you know you’re my favorite from the band.” you laughed at this, she really wasn’t good at expressing it if what she said was the truth.

“that’s funny, this is the first time we’ve talked.” she took offense to this for some reason.

“well you could’ve talked to me.” she shrugged her shoulders, leaning an arm on the sink.

“true.” you admitted, lowering your face again to rinse your face with the face wash you’d brought, removing your makeup as you did. her hands replaced the one in your hair helping you avoid the water.

“thanks.” you said as you dried your face with a towel. her hand tucked your hair behind your ears delicately, the soft action weirding you out slightly.

“i got you.” she winked, lowering the lids of her eyes when she stood back to look at you fully. she didn’t say anything and you mistook the silence as awkward.

“you’re not a huge talker are you?” she questioned, rhetorical however.

“depends on the person.” she raised her eyebrows, smiling at the slight shade.

“damn, next time just tell me your not interested from the get go.” she turned picking up her stuff and you felt a tinge of regret.

“what do you mean?” you asked and she turned back.

“hm?” you thought she might act like she hadn’t said anything but she searched your expression for something more.

“well, you haven’t really expressed interest. how was i supposed to know?” she seemed shocked.

“i haven’t expressed interest? i practically grind on you at all the shows.” she rested a hand on her hip.

“yeah, but it’s for entertainment purposes.” you sounded unsure, and she caught sight of the sliver of doubt in the statement.

“yeah? it doesn’t have to be.” she came closer to you, paralysing you with her words. her lips gravitated towards yours before she spoke again.

“it depends on you. what do you want, cause i think i know, but i need to hear it from you.” she whispered on your lips and her breath rendered them warmer.

“you don’t know what i want.” she saw this as a challenge and her hands rested on her hips, pulling you in.

“i know you want this.” her hands now moved across you neck as you let her explore your body, despite your rejecting words.

“you think you’re so tough.” you replied, the insult bouncing off her, not having had the intended effect.

“I think, therefore I am.” she quoted, the irony of what had transpired hitting you where it hurt. but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as your subconscious reaction to her fingertips on your waist.

“fuck.” you breathed before you kissed her. she smirked into the kiss, as cocky as ever. it destroyed your own pride.

“you taste good baby.” she said once her tongue left yours.

“yeah?” you kissed her cheek, moving lower to her jaw. her hands played with the waistband of your sweats, pulling them low so that your underwear was peaking through. she fiddled with your panties as she took your face to kiss you again. you both grew more desperate, hotter and passionate. she spun you around so that your ass was against her hips, and you were leaning against the cold sink. you looked at her through the mirror and she caressed your ass, pulling your sweatpants down.

“tell me what you want.” she demanded and you closed your eyes in frustration, the moment so heated you lost sight of your common sense.

“you, please just get me off billie.” it was the first time you’d addressed her and she pulled her lip with her teeth. her fingers travelled past your underwear quickly, gasping mockingly at your wetness.

“billie.” it was a warning, telling her you didn’t want to be teased. she obeyed and dipped her fingers in as you gripped the sink. she pushed you harder against the ceramic, her fingers just as rough inside of you. her free hand came up to your covered breast as she urged you to arch your back.

“don’t you look pretty?” she wiped the fog on the mirror, created by your heavy breaths and bold moans. her fingers were relentless, but her hand was soft against your ass. she moved back to your tits, this time under your shirt. she bit her lip when she felt them, trying to hold back, not wanting to make a mess of your clothes in case someone decided to come in.

“you look so sexy when you play the guitar. so concentrated but so confident too.” she rambled on, the words not fully settling in your brain since you were occupied with the feeling of her fingers.

“mhm.” you mumbled carelessly. her lips were all over your neck, leaving traces of lipgloss around the bruises.

“if i could, i would’ve taken you right on that stage.” her filthy words brought you closer to your release, and she knew exactly what she was doing when you clenched on her fingers.

“god you’re hot when you come.” she commented as you tried to slow your heartbeat. you chuckled as her fingers left you and you turned around to face her, the sink leaving a mark on your lower hips.

“we can do this again, i don’t mind.” your words were flirtatious and she smiled.

“finally you’ve grown some balls.” you hit her shoulder playfully and she pulled you into her, pecking your lips softly.

[factual-fantasy]

27 Asks! Thank you! :}} ✏️

@unpopularartist14

I don't ever number my panels or strive for a specific number- the only limitation I keep in mind is keeping the comic under 30 canvases. But that's only because of Tumblr's stupid new image limit. Before that crapdate I would make a comic with as many canvases/panels as I wanted.

And idk what you mean by overwhelming- I put between 1-6 drawings on one canvas, it just depends on the comic and what i need from that scene :0

Also idk what a comic chapter is- and I don't believe myself to be the best with dialogue 😅 I just slap comics together and keep adjusting it until it feels right..

Sorry, I'm sure these were not helpful answers. I never claimed to be good at explaining how I do things. Plus I'm in a pretty bad headspace so I'm sure that's not helping me..😓

I'm self taught, so its hard to explain how I learned anything or to teach it to others- "I just.. do it." "I just change it until it feels right." "I just draw it. How?.. idk I just.. draw it..?"

I hope you can find another artist to help you. Unless the questions get very specific- I'm afraid I can offer no better answers. <:(

@ayliminum

Ngl, I have no idea when I'm gonna open it again. My server has gotten enough members that if it gets any bigger, I'm gonna need a mod to help me monitor it. But I don't have anyone I trust/feel comfortable enough/know well enough- to add as a mod. And considering how horrible my mental and physical health has been.. I haven't wanted to even deal with it anyways.

Right now my server is manageable at its size. So I just closed it off to new members and put "get a server mod/reopen the server" on the list of millions of things I need to do once I crawl out of this health deteriorating pit.💀

AWWWW!!! WORGI!! COLF!!💞💞

@h31fd3ad

No way XDDD

@cicutagreninja

For Bonnie, he is an animatronic designed to handle small groups at a time and have 1 on 1 interactions. But in the case where Freddy is decommissioned, he takes Freddy's place as the star. So he constantly has huge crowds swarming all around him..

As a result, Bonnie is basically constantly overwhelmed. And any second that he has to himself, he just goes completely stone faced and quiet. Kind of to mentally take a break and recharge from all the interactions..

As for Foxy, he always looks so solemn in that AU because his heart just aches for his friends.. He misses Chica and Freddy.. He can see how horrible Bonnie, Roxy and Monty are feeling.. he wishes he could help them all.. but there's nothing he can do...

@neo-metalscottic

AAAAAA Thank you! :DDD I wonder how long it'll take me to get to 30K.. 🤔

Also as for terraria- I haven't fought any of the bosses on my own and I'm sure I haven't seen all the biomes 💀 But so far I like the jungle biome and the wall of flesh is a cool concept :00

I'm glad to hear you've liked my Octonauts stuff! :)) As for what attacked Calico Jack, it was supposed to be a sea monster that could be mistaken for a gator :0

I also had no back story in mind for how he got the scar on his eye <:0 and idk if he'd be willing to share the story.. it depends on how he got it! <:/

Aww.. poor Emmet.. man. I am not looking forward to experiencing that myself.

@holly-opal

I've seen the movie trailer for it! Beyond that I know nothing about it <:0

@sussyhahag

Its more of a reverse egg yolk, but I see what you mean! XDD

@captain-skyler1987

My week has been rough.😔funny picture though XD

(Referencing this post)

WAHGG THANK YOU!! :DDD

Also thankfully no- if Wally ever got close to being that tired he'd sit down somewhere. Maybe even accidentally take a nap-

@pink088

Idk if its supposed to hurt after the initial piercing- make sure you're taking care of the holes! <:0

(Referencing this post)

AAAA YES ITS EXCITING AND A LITTLE STRESSFUL! XDD

@ask-observer-ron

@cat7890

I haven't been feeling well, my health it pretty bad.. but thank you! I'm glad to hear you like my artwork! :)))

@beryl-shade

I haven't seen it, is it good? :0 Perhaps I should watch 8-Bitryans video on it..🤔

@birodactyloftheblog

WAAHHGHGH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DDD

Maybe someday! :00

@enbydemirainbowbigfoot

No need to apologize! I take it as a big compliment! Thank you! :)))

@wolfie-777

Aw! Cute wolf! :)

Ugh.. that's always such a shame to hear.. but hey thanks for telling me 👍

@antikittysocial

Aw,, that's so sad.. <:( poor Shellington..

@briandraws

My head is more of a liquid. If you took a hair dryer to it I'd go splat XDD

I imagine the mama Emboar got pregnant and then the father dipped. Just like real boar fathers do 💀

I've never heard of it.. is that a show about the Daycare attendant..? :0

I do not know what that is.. sorry! <:(

(Referencing this post)

<XD It was certainly a show. I should go back and watch the whole thing in order sometime-

[vevobly]

Being Natalie Scatorccio Girlfriend Headcanons (Pre-Crash) [Part 2]

A/N: More headcanons for being Natalie's girlfriend pre-crash! Heads up for sensitive topics such as alcohol drinking, substance abuse, and more.

Now, Natalie can't help it but she often ends up thinking she's not good enough for you. I mean, she's just broken goods; what do you even see in her? It's cause of this that she tends to push you away, convinced you deserve better.

You have to constantly remind her how much she means to you and that she's worth fighting for, even when she doesn't believe it. Still, it pisses you off when she pushes you away, and sometimes you two even get into fights because of it. But it's nothing you guys can't manage to get through!

Now elaborating more on the first part of this where I mentioned Natalie will call you up late at night just to talk about whatever. It usually happens when her dad passes out drunk or another fight at her home happens.

In your relationship with Nat, it's not about what's being said or done—it’s just about knowing you’re there for each other. You two have a tendency to listen to each other talk before falling asleep. Whether it’s you or Natalie who falls asleep first, neither of you ends the call until you hear the other breathing quietly after a moment.

Sometimes, when things get really shitty for Nat at home, you guys just sneak off with alcohol from her dad's stash (stolen out of spite) and drink together. You're not proud of it, but it's one of the ways she copes. Besides that, she always feels guilty afterward, and when she does; you're there to comfort her.

Oh, and in case you don't drink, Natalie always brings an extra drink other than alcohol for you. Or if you feel like it, you just take a small drink of it. Maybe mixing in some water with it even though it doesn't make much difference if you do.

After soccer practice (assuming you're not on the team with her), you're always waiting for her outside; leaning against her car. It's like a little routine you guys have: she'll spot you as she's leaving the field and will be beaming.

If you smoke, you guys will share a cigarette before driving off together to wherever you two can find a little peace. If you don't, Nat will probably just take a quick drag of her cigarette before driving off with you.

Think of it however you want, but you and Nat practically share a locker at school. Well, to be more specific, she shares her locker with you. Whether you keep yours tidy or not, she always makes sure there's space for your things despite how messy her locker is (the old papers, cigarette packs, and gum wrappers).

Whether you're a fan of sports or not, you're always at the edge of the field and cheering her on. But of course, in a low-key way! Since your relationship with her is supposed to be on the down low, and she isn't one for big shows of support. She might never admit it, but seeing you in the crowd? It keeps her grounded and it's one of the few things that makes her feel like she belongs.

Now this completely depends on whether you have a fucking savior complex or not but despite knowing her reputation at school, you give a fuck ton of excuses to teachers when they ask about her. Like she's just running late, not feeling well, something came up, and whatever you can make up on the spot honestly.

You even went so far as to literally fake some stuff (excuse letters from her parents etc) up for her just so she could stay out of trouble. Sometimes when she gets caught skipping school or with something she shouldn't have and whatever, you take the blame or help her cover it up.

She feels hella conflicted on whether to fucking love or hate you for doing that just for her. Oh, and really guilty too. You'll try telling her some other reason than not wanting her to get in trouble and shit, she'll still feel guilty. If you were out with her and doing the same as her, that just doubles the guilt she'd be feeling if you weren't.

Just like every relationship, nothing is perfect. You two will fight, have outbursts, and these moments where one of you shuts the other out. But you both will keep finding your way back to each other despite everything.

Shit becomes incredibly different though when Natalie's father dies. She shuts down emotionally and you're the only one she lets in during that time. Nat isn't great at expressing grief and she'll hide her emotions behind drinking or other reckless behavior. And you? You'll be there for her through it all, maybe you'll try to help but there's really not much you can do than just offer her your support.

Even before Nat's dad died, she talked a lot about wanting to leave town and start over with you. Though, her idea is to just pack up and drive far away from home and the crappy town you live in. While you? You think more about the details—where you'll go, what you'll do, and how you'll get by. It was a nice thought.

At least before the plane crashed.

[goquokka00]

Stray Kids on Weed

The Lee Know Strain In which the love of their life smokes the mary jane, and they give it a shot for the first time...

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

A Few Notes: This is purely just supposed to be funny and a joke. I've also never been high and while I am friends with those who have either tried weed or do weed on the regular, I only know so much. So please just bear with me and have a good laugh, okay? Okay. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

So I have this gut feeling that Minho's first experience with weed would be with an edible. Seeing as he loves cooking and all, and is also just scared that he could potentially fuck up his lungs if he did actually smoke, I feel like this would probably be the way that he would combat that.

It's not often that you bring home edibles, but when you do, Minho asks to try it. And surprise surprise, nothing happens at first. Why? Because it's an edible. Minho thought you were scamming him when he didn't feel anything happen in his system, but it all changed about 45 minutes later.

Stupid idiot.

That's what he got for not listening to you when you tried to explain that edibles take longer to kick in since you have to let the food and weed actually digest in your stomach. Maybe next time, he'll learn to listen to you and not claim that he had beaten god.

Now, once this high kicks in, I see Minho doing a complete and total 180 in his mood. He goes from having this cocky, cold, mischievous and honestly just closed off personality to being the most cuddly, happy, giggly, softest best boi you've ever met in your life.

He smiles more than you've ever seen in your entire life, he GIVES hugs instead of tolerating them and plotting your murder once you have him in your arms (Bangchan is lowkey jealous when he hears about that), he talks about how much he loves and appreciates his members, and even states that he cares for Hyunjin a lot more than he usually lets off.

Course, when you told him what he said once he was sober again, he threatened you that if you told anyone he'd air fry you until you were burnt. Ah, he's so in love with you...

I also have this sneaky suspicion that Minho would want to do things that he really shouldn't do when high. Things such as going to the gym, going out in public because he's an idol and if anyone saw him high he could be in a shit ton of trouble, cook, go and practice dance routines...y'know. The typical Minho stuff.

He'd go on and on and try to reassure you that he was fine, and that he wasn't that far gone. In reality, this poor baby can't even figure out how to zip up his coat.

Now do I think Minho would give weed more chances in the future? Maybe on very special occasions like after parties, but I really don't see him using it often. I think him finding out about how he gets really makes him worry about actually admitting to the fact that him and Jisung do, in fact, have a secret relationship and that he's his one true love. That, or the fact that he secretly wants to have a polyamorous relationship with both you and Jisung.

God only knows at this point.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @miss-daisy04 @kayleefriedchicken @wolfs-archive @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @wolfs-howling @rose-w-00-d

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Updating yall early so I don’t forget this

Ok so, I brought Lupin into the mix and the responses were hilarious

Ofc i already told them Snapes backstory, so they already know about Lupin and his Lycanthropy (The Prank)

So, initially they were talking about Snape and Lupin working together

My Boss: Well, he handled it professionally. I mean, to take time out of your day to make medicine to help him with his condition is mature enough. I understand his initial upset about it though, this man is clearly traumatized

My fav coworker: professional my ass, I wouldn’t work with someone who almost killed me. Involuntarily or not, that’s traumatic. So, obviously I’m childish, I would’ve quite on the spot HAHAHA

Then that’s when I brought up Lupin forgetting to take his potion

My boss: He almost killed 3 students and the teacher…again? What do you mean he forgot? What kind of bullshit haha oh my god. This is a fucking joke

My fav coworker: *Didnt know what to say*

Then I bring in Snape outing Lupin and the Marauders stans interpretation of that (comparing it to outing a gay person) and I also told them Rowling’s intended interpretation of Lycanthropy (AIDS)

My boss: So I’m supposed to believe he’s in the wrong for telling everyone there’s a werewolf in a school full of children? He already proved he can’t fucking be trusted! What?

My fav Coworker: Wait, so the fans are comparing this to being gay? In what world is being gay a danger to children? That says a lot. Either they like to hear themselves talk or they made that comparison on purpose

My boss: At least I can see what it would mean with the AIDS comparison. It’s not pretty, but it makes a lot more sense. A grown man with an HIV can’t control himself and yadda yadda. The gay argument was cognitive dissonance at this point, because didn’t you say this side of the books fanbase is very LGBTQ centered? My ass

Ngl…I never thought of that shit💀 I still hate the aids comparison but good points boys

I gave them the counter argument that he ruined Lupins life and that he could’ve been killed or denied any future jobs

My boss: Well, shit, he almost killed 3 children because he couldn’t drink a damn potion! Hang him for all I care. And that’s typically what happens in real life when things like this happen. Maybe he wouldn’t get death row, but he’d definitely be locked up, and if he gets out, he’s gonna have a hard time in society. Womp womp

My fav coworkers: You guys cancel people for less, are they defending him for almost killing children? And almost killing Severus AGAIN, oh my goodness. We’re doomed as a society HAHA

Then I brought up the curse on the DADA position

My fav coworker: SO SEVERUS TECHNICALLY SAVED HIS DUMB ASS? Oh my gooodddd!

My boss: wow, I’m done. Work time

So that’s the conversation on Lupin so far. Obviously there’s a lot more stuff to cover

[latibvles]

100 paired prompts list -⁴²⁾ a blocked (or unknown) number and traffic lights, for Vivian!

DIDN'T HAVE TO.

more frat boys au because im stuck in this trench. thanks for the prompt, merc!! another general "viv's dad sucks in every way a dad Can Suck" warning.

James whistles from his spot up front, peering out the window onto the street as Viv approaches, shrugging on her jacket and looking at him curiously.

“News says it’s below freezing tonight. You walkin’ home, Vivvy?” he asks, looking at her curiously. She knows it's both a question and a well-meaning proposition — which is enough to make her smile a little bit, but shake her head.

“My ride’s waiting for me. I appreciate it though,” she hums. “Oh! And I won’t be coming in tomorrow. Sorority stuff,” the host nods, looking half-mournful as he leans on the wood podium. Viv chuckles a little, rolling her eyes in slight amusement as he straightens out, looking past her once more towards the downtown street, lit up by window signs and orangey street lamps.

“Right, see you…”

“Monday.”

“Monday, right.” Vivian zips up her jacket, heading out the door and looking down at her phone. Bucky’s text is simple: ‘on the corner’ following up their previous conversation: which was Viv going ‘I don’t mind walking’ and Bucky reacting with a thumbs down emoji. She recognizes his car further down the street and speed-walks towards it, already eager to get away from the chill of late autumn. She chuckles when she approaches, peering into the window. Bucky is leaning back in his seat, eyes shut, arms crossed over his chest.

She raps her knuckles on the glass and he shoots up, looking around before his gaze settles on her, effectively startled, and Viv laughs.

In spite of his initial fright, he smiles when he sees her and she hears the faint click of the doors unlocking. She opens the door pretty quickly after that, tossing her bag into the backseat.

“Knight in shining armor,” she teases, as opposed to a proper greeting, before following it up with: “Sorry if I smell like a deep fryer.” He waves it off dismissively.

“No problem. I love french fries.” Viv swats him in the center of his chest for that, which makes him laugh with an additional mutter of seat belt as she settles into her spot. The engine of his car revs to life, phone connecting to the speakers and Bucky’s all-over-the-place playlist hopping to the next track. He pulls off the curb as Viv pulls her hair out of its low barely-there pony and sighs in relief, scratching at her head.

“You were right by the way.” He glances at her momentarily and she’s looking at him dead-on. “Saw that woman in my calculus class with your economics professor — I avoided their table like the plague.” Bucky makes a noise, something between a squawk and a gasp that has Viv throwing her head back in a fit of laughter. “The fuck was that?!”

“Sorry— sorry I just— that was supposed to be a joke,” Bucky laughs a little, breathless and shoulders shaking. “Holy shit, what’d they order?” She can’t help but grin, knowing he’s going to hate the answer.

“Big plate of spaghetti. Think they were trying to do Lady and the Tramp.”

“Gross.” Viv can’t help her second bout of laughter at the scrunch to Bucky’s nose, displeasure evident on his face. Fair enough; his economics professor is about a half a century older than both of them — but her classmates also had a solid ten years on either of them, so more power to her.

“You think they got together before or after realizing she’s a student at his place of work?” She asks, just to watch him scrunch his nose again.

“Whichever makes it more likely that his desk’s clean because I’ve definitely touched it with my bare hands.”

Viv snorts again, rolling her eyes with a parroted gross that has him grinning from ear to ear, wide and bright as it usually is. She lets her gaze shift outside the window to the darkened downtown streets — some windows slightly frosted, twinkling lights starting to go up. They hadn’t even passed Thanksgiving yet.

“Thanks again, for the ride. You didn’t have—”

“Vivian, if that sentence is anything but ‘you didn’t have money on tonight’s game, did you?’ I’m going to ignore it,” Bucky cuts her off without missing a beat, and for a moment Viv just balks at him. He seems satisfied with himself, though, and she huffs.

“Well did you?”

“Fuck no. Rosie’s already killing me in the goddamn fantasy league. Can you believe that? I’m losing to a damn pledge, Viv.” He’s dramatic about it, bemoaning his fantasy football losses in a way that almost makes her forget that he really didn’t have to come pick her up from work. She was more than willing to tough out the hour-long walk back to the sorority house while her car got fixed, but evidently he had other plans. Ones that involve waiting on the curb for her to clock out after closing and enthrall her with the woes he has about his fantasy league. He swears under his breath as he catches the red light. The one at this intersection always feels like it lasts forever. The vermilion glow casts shadows on his face that Viv can’t really help but stare at. She likes how it makes his curls look impossibly blacker, like ink.

“Are you h—,” her question is cut off by her phone ringing and she looks down.

Viv can’t help the souring of her expression at the unsaved number, but lately he’s been calling so much that she knows who it is automatically. She’s more than grateful that her friends haven’t cast stones over her inability to block his number. She’d be going back for Thanksgiving break and a lot could happen in a week. While she’s willing to fight her father on a lot of things; it isn’t smart to forfeit him from paying her phone bill while she’s in school.

This is the fourth time he’s called her tonight. She couldn’t answer the other three because she was working. And there’s a permanence in blocking him out  entirely that has Viv a little terrified. Nail in the coffin, something like that — she’s put the hammer down for now and she isn’t sure if she’s quite ready to pick it back up again.

“Viv?” Bucky looks over at her fully, brows furrowing in concern, pulling her out of her thoughts. Her thumb hovers over the pick-up button.

“S’just my dad,” she manages. “This should be qui—”

She hardly registers Bucky reaching for her phone, plucking it from her as she opens her mouth in protest. He holds up his finger though as he picks up and presses it to his ear. Viv swallows hard, hands curling into fists. She can’t really hear what her dad is saying, but she can hear the muffled sound of his voice as he yells into the phone.

When I call you, answer. I’ll cut you off. I’ll make you transfer. If you wanna act like a grown little girl so bad—

Bucky’s face contorts into something like disgust. She can tell in that moment he just might spout off at the mouth. Viv reaches over to grasp at his wrist, shooting him a pleading look.

She hasn’t been scared of her father since she was fourteen. She still isn’t, but she doesn’t want Bucky to step in it with him. It’d be like arguing with a brick wall.

Bucky nods once, still saying nothing. Letting her father spout off at the mouth and taking it all without a word. Eventually the muffled shouting stops.

“Yeah, sure thing Mr. Savorre. I just didn’t want to talk on the phone and drive, y’know? Not exactly safe driving habits. They teach that one in high school. You have a good night now,” Bucky drawls, Viv’s eyes feel like they might pop out of her head as he hangs up and the light turns green. He passes her phone back to her and she can hardly believe what’s just happened.

She can’t help the noise — somewhere between a laugh and a scoff of disbelief.

“You…”

He smiles, softer than before, goes to pat her knee twice then squeeze it.

“So what’re your plans for Thanksgiving break?”

[r0semultiverse]

What We Do in the Land of Ooo

🧛‍♂️ What We Do in the Shadows x Adventure Time crossover AU! ⚔

Finn Mertens in place of Guillermo de la Cruz

Marceline Abadeer in place of Nadja of Antipaxos

Bonnibel Bubblegum in place of Laszlo Cravensworth

Jake the dog in place of Colin Robinson

Vampire King in place of Nandor The Relentless

Betty Grof in place of The Guide

The Lich in place of Baron Afanas

Peppermint Butler in place of Wallace the Necromacer

Simon Petrikov in place of Derek

BMO in place of Nadja Doll (her old consciousness uploaded or something was an idea I had)

Marshall Lee & Gary Gumball/Prince in place of Sean & Charmaine

[medicinemane]

Mike johnson has so god damn much blood on his hands, obviously Ukrainian blood, but also plenty of American blood

Refusing to renew something that helps vets exposed to atomic blast and Americans who were downwind of the fall out... it's just sick. I can't fucking stand mike johnson, he's one of the worst scum to ever be in congress, and that's fucking saying something

"Johnson refused to allow House members to vote on bipartisan legislation to renew and improve the program"

Fucking quivering little pimple seems to have a real MO for just wringing his hands while insisting it's not his fault, he just can't do the one fucking part of his job of putting shit up to a vote... oh boo hoo, so sad, he'll just have to unilaterally let funding expire on things instead of literally just putting it up to our elected representatives to see if they want to vote yay or nay

Single handedly make the choices but it's not his fault when they work out how they do

Murderer

[kashilascorner]

just watched notting hill which is supposed to be like an epitome of a good romcom and... Well. Let's just say i highly disagree

[pepprs]

meant to post abt this yesterday and ik it’s kinda mean but i think the counselor i have rn is the worst one ive ever had possibly even worse than (or tied w) the one i had over the summer who kept ending our sessions well before the full hour was up when i was going thru a horrible time and kept spending the sessions mostly talking abt herself and her own problems. actually no now that i write that out she was probably the worst (though she was one of the warmest / nicest and our personalities meshedreally well so i feel bad saying that she was the worst). but the one i have now is so…. lke idk. my experience w the worst counselor made me rly want to work w a clinical intern again bc i wanted someone who would like. actuallytake things seriously and give me the time i was paying for and spend all of it talki ng abt the things i was paying to talk abt and draw from the most recent / cutting edge info instead of entirely personal experience (WHICH AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD ABT BECAUSE. my work is all abt healing each other by sharing things like that and i realt did like her but it just wasn’t appropriate i guess bc it was a counseling relationship!) but my current counselor is so… rigid and restrictive. like i think he is trying too hard to apply what he’s being taught and he seems like nervous and talking out of his ass and he masks that by taking up SO much space and spending like 3 minutes responding to every one minute i talk and literally like strongarmimg the convos and deciding what we’re going to talk about and moving us on to a new topic abruptly before i feel ready to move on and like taking time out of our sessions to do paperwork / admin stuff so he doesn’t forget later (and a lot of the time i think he’s doing it while im talking bc i see his eyes moving around his screen and the light on his face like he’s not even listening to me). and it fucking sucks. i want to crack him like an egg so bad and make him realize it doesn’t have to be this way but i know that’s not my responsibility and in our session last night i basically gave up trying to create enough space for myself and just let him steer things bc i was having side effects and it was just rly unsatisfying

[nomairuins]

my entire family thinks im crazy now . god . ok . anyways

[arolesbianism]

hello gamers minor life update I have been doing Real bad lately so I will likely continue to be very inactive, but hey on the bright side I have been fleshing out some eternal gales lore I reworked a while back and I can happily say that Dodie no longer completely contradicts the very nature of reality in eternal gales and the fog tower™ officially has a real reason to exist again so hell yeah to that

[irishbreakfst]

Big milestone for me: talked to my boyfriend about my incredible bone-deep reluctance to feel/express intense emotions without distancing myself from them via humor or some other mechanism, something which has been causing a lot of issues for us because it gives him (and my friends and basically everyone else who is around me when the mood is serious) the impression that i dont care about other people's feelings or have empathy!

Im also very, VERY bad at verbalizing my feelings when the mood is serious so im incredibly proud of myself for being able to hold that conversation without shutting it down early with a "whatever i dont care" or juwt gping completely nonverbal!

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

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“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.