#and they take MY heart readings because im their special little princess.

[ink-asunder]

The wild thing about the concept of dignity in a medical setting is that people act like its not a given. Yes there are absolutely times where patients can be or feel humiliated, but humiliation is an emotion that people feel about different things. When it comes to the patient's feelings, they may or may not feel dignified in whatever medical care they're participating in. But then I hear Healthies advocating for very specific non-issues "so the patients can have dignity" and I'm like "😐 You weren't viewing me with dignity before??"

[divinesolas]

request: jacerys x maid!reader | reader has been working for them for a long while and jace has had a little crush on her since then. (also rhaenyra shipping them on the low would be so sweet)

tags: nontarg!reader, implied slightly older reader, mostly jacaerys pov, no use of y/n, not proofread, i think that's it?

w.c | 2.2k

a/n: i am back! so sorry for being inactive i am so happy to be able to write again i have missed you guys, getting through requests now, but it will probably take me awhile to get to the scream requests since im really unmotived to write for it but i missed writing for hotd so here you go, i hope you guys enjoy!

the first time he had ever spotted you was when he was eight. you had been assigned to be helaena personal maid. he had been standing in the courtyard preparing for another sword fighting lesson. he notices out of the corner of his eye aegon lifting his head before aegon mumbled under his breath and curse as he shakes his head bring his head back down. jacaerys looks up to see heleana, knowing of the recent betrothal and aegons distaste at the idea of course he would have a reaction like that. his eyes drifted over to the girl standing besides helaena and he felt a sudden sensation of butterflies flow into his stomach.

Curiously he picks it up and opens, It feels wrong of me to do this. Princess Heleena just recently taught me how to write and the first thing I felt I needed to do was write something to you. I hope you do not laugh. I hope that while I express myself you find it in yourself to listen. My eyes always find their way towards you. I always find myself thinking about you. I feel too embarrassed to write more though my heart yearns too. Forgive me my prince. I shall hope we talk more. With all i have,

He finds himself tracing the sloppy signing of your name at the end of your letter. His head can't make sense of the words you say despite the fact he wants to so badly. He falls back onto his bed and reads over your words over and over again with a fond look on his face, already planning on what he was going to write back. The two of you begin to write more and more letters to each other. It was easier than speaking in person. Things that could not be uttered in person were said over word, the letters grew more and more personal. He felt like he was looking into your soul with every word as you must have felt as well. But then lady Leana had passed and he had to go to driftmark to the funeral though he was more upset about the passing of ser harwin. Before he had left for driftmark you had slipped a letter for him before he had left. He didn't have the energy to open it then, feeling too much grief to read your sweet words. A part of him is glad he didn't because he didn't realize that would be the last he would see of you for many years. They did not return to king's landing which means he did not get to see you. No more letters, no more passing glances, no more you. He stayed in his bed and cried for awhile, he remembers his mother coming in and trying to comfort him but nothing had worked. Even ten years later he still mourned you like you had died, he had managed to get over his sad slump but you still lingered in his mind like a disease he could not cure, an itch he couldn't scratch. He wondered if you thought of him like he had thought of you. Word had come that they had to go back to king's landing. With lucerys position as heir to driftmark being challenged they were expected to return for a trial. While he feels as though he should be sad, he should be angry. His heart leaps with hope that he gets to see the dear maiden that had stolen his heart. He had never opened up your letter from all those years ago, wanting to savor and save what could be your last words to him for a special occasion. He decided that now would be the time, as he sits on his bed with his stuff packed, only minutes until they were set to leave with shaking hands he rips open the letter.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he opens the letter and gasps. My prince, It broke my heart to find out you were leaving. I hope that you have not let your grief consume you, that you shall continue to be happy no matter what. He notices some large splotches of ink as if you had been pressing too hard against the paper in thought. I must tell you this though it is improper. When you return you will never speak to me again. You may never write to me again yet I must say this now. From the day we had locked eyes and my eyes saw you smile you hard earned the key to my heart. You are the chosen one. Hand selected as the owner to the place which you and only you will ever belong. I hope that you do not laugh. I hope that you are not repulsed or you are not hateful. From the day we met I have loved you and I shall think of you always for you are all I yearn for. I shall await your return. I know not how long you will be gone but I will be here, my sweet true love. I am but a low maiden yet you are everything to me as you must be to all. When you return you may choose to ignore this letter. I am more than willing to act as if this letter never existed, I will be the one to turn this letter myself if you wish. Just please, do not punish me by never speaking to me again for I fear my heart will never recover. With all my love, Yours.

The letter shakes vigorously in his hands as teardrops fall onto the page. He must see you. He gets up and rushes towards the yard where the rest of his family awaits where they are boarding to leave. With the letter clutched to his chest he runs through the halls, the only thought going through his mind being you. He carefully, or as carefully as he can with the adrenaline pumping through his veins and the nervous shaking of his hands, folds up the letter and stuffs it into his pocket before continuing to rush towards his dragon. An arm grabs him and he whips his head around ready to curse and scream at whoever it had been before his angry face softens. “My queen.” she cups his cheeks as she frantically looks him over. “Has something happened? Why are you crying, my son?”

He feels himself grow overrun with emotions as he stumbles, unable to answer. Instead he grabs the letter and presents it to her. “My.. she wrote to me.. Her letter I must.. I must..” he cannot find himself. He looks down at the ground as rhaenyra glances over the letter and looks at her son with a heartfelt look. “Do you love her, my boy?” his heart begins to hurt as he begins to think more and more about you as he nods. He lets out a strangled noise as he clutches his chest. “I must see her mother, I must.” He never calls her mother. rhaenyra feels herself overcome with an indescribable feeling as she lets him go. “We shall head out right this moment.” They do. He feels himself riding faster than he ever had. A part of him worries you will not be there. Maids are easily dismissed and rid of in kings landing so his heart hurts as he thinks he has missed you

. They arrive and he finds lucerys is stuck to his side. Despite the fact that all he wished to was run off to find you he knows he must take care of lucerys as well. Walking into the courtyard he's taken back to his childhood, with lucerys eyes locked onto the fight happening jacaerys finds his eyes looking around at the viewers watching from above the courtyard. Suddenly his eyes lock onto a very familiar set of eyes. Yours. You look as gorgeous as you did the day he had last shall you if not more. You were standing in the exact same place you were when he first saw you with a look of shock. He finds himself stumbling away from the crowd to get a better look at you as his heart pounds so loud his ears may begin to ring. You were here. Standing in front of him. He gulps and watches as you quickly rush towards the staircase down to the courtyard. His skin begins to burn as his legs begin to shake. Everything in his body telling him he should run to you. Bring you into his arms. Allow your skin to touch him. Suddenly you are standing in front of him, panting slightly while your eyes dart all over him with surprise. “My prince… you have returned.” He grabs one of your hands in a soft grip, he sees you inhale sharply as he brings your hand to his lips and places a kiss to the back of your hand. his lips burning as he aches to kiss your skin once more. “I am sorry to have kept you waiting, my love.” You gasp before a smile graces your lips and tears fill up in your eyes. “Truly?” He places yet another kiss onto your skin, “More than anything.”

[cupidspup]

CG! BEN drowned x Little! Reader (Request!)

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All art credit goes to their original artists!! :]

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Prompt: CG! Ben helping his little cope with impure regression and cheering them up 🩷

CW: depressive episode mentions and other related things, reading not taking proper care of themselves, feminine reader w/ feminine nicknames, use of parental nicknames (dada/papa/daddy/baba), lots of comforts n fluff(!), mentions of death (Ben’s death) in a light hearted manner

A/N: I can’t find the ask I got HOWEVER im tagging the person and I’m so happy to introduce (with the same layout as before bc I love it-)

Read to end for a surprise! 💛

It’s a rainy day out when you’re cuddled into your bed. Usually you love rainy days because of how cozy and nice it is but lately you find rainy days have started to lose their charm. Most things have really. Nothing seems worth the pain and trouble of getting up in the first place. So why bother? Things are simpler in this room. You’re lucky to be here in the first place aren’t you?

You’re not even in your own bed much less your own room. Not that you prefer to be there anyway. Your home is Slendermansion and yes you have your own room but the room you take up most of your time is actually one of the other residents of the mansion itself. The one and only Ben Drowned’s room is the one you’ve claimed as your safe haven. For more reasons than one too at that. You and Ben have a very special relationship, one deeper than most would consider hust your standard relationship. It’s pure and comforting and honest, which is something you find to be very rare these days. Ben is your caregiver and you are his precious little.

You regress from time to time and he’s the one that makes sure that you’re safe, well taken care of and well loved at that. The story of you two coming together with this dynamic is a long one and one that can be saved for another time. The point is that as time has gone by, as you two got closer so did your spaces. You’re known to go through bits of depressive episodes without knowing and he’s always been there for you. Just like this one of course. So here you are, snuggled up in Ben’s dark green comforter into the tightest and snuggliest burrito you could. If anywhere is your safe space it’s Ben’s room with a maximum of five feet between the two of you (at your most vulnerable of course). And Ben has no issue with this whatsoever. He’ll never let another living soul besides you know but he enjoys you being close to him as much as you do and he wouldn’t change that for anything. Caring for you and providing security for you brings him a differently kind of joy and healing.

As you sigh and nuzzle into the pillow on his bed you start to dissociate. You feel so…fuzzy and far away. Like you’re floating but falling at the same time. What a weird thing to feel. Rainy days usually helped these little bouts of dissociation but not today. Not yesterday or this week. When was the last time you took a second to enjoy the rain? …. You can’t seem to remember.

You hear a faint voice call for you but you can’t break out of your trance. The raindrops racing down the glass of the window has you locked in. You’re not Al that concerned about being conscious anyway. It’s easier this way.

Then there’s a gentle nudge on your leg.

“Baby? It’s been a while since you’ve eaten why don’t we go get a quick snack?”

You finally blink and raise your head to look up in his direction. He’s turned around from his gaming chair and desk, one hand on his mouse and the other still gently resting on your leg. You shrug in response and lay your head back down.

“Not hungry.”

“Y/N… it’s been five hours, how could you not be hungry?” He says gently, his thumb rubbing your calf lightly. “Cmon you don’t even have to get up, I’ll carry you there if you want hm? How does a piggy back ride sound? Or do you wanna be my pretty princess just like Zelda?” He gives you a reassuring smile with relaxed eyes and opens his arms for you. He always calls you his Zelda whether you’re bug or little. That’s just his personal pet name for you hust because you’re his special princess. One of his elf ears twitch slightly as he waits for your answer. It’s cute you can admit that part. But getting up is still so gross right now all you want to do is just be here. You shake your head no and cuddle the blankets around you closer. There’s a small pause but you hear him sigh softly before getting up.

“Alright Y/N, that’s okay. I’m still going to make you a little snack though because seeing you not eat worries me.”

Your hand clenches around the blanket you have. Something about that makes your heart ache. You try your best to hold yourself together but tears threaten to fall from your eyes. You don’t know why but you don’t want Ben to see you like this, even though he’s seen you like this more than a thousand times before. So why is it so difficult now?

He walks to the door frame and opens the door but looks back at you one last time, telling you one last thing before closing the door on his way out.

“I care about you princess, so it’s okay to let go if you need to.”

And that’s it. That’s the what breaks you.

The tears you were holding in before finally fall and they land onto the pillow making a wet spot onto the soft fabric. Why are you crying? There’s no reason to cry it’s nothing. Why should he care for someone like you? You just blew him off when all he wanted was to pamper his person. Not only that but his princess. God you really blew it. You sniffle and let your tears fall, your breath shuddering as you cry. It’s so hard and you can’t even pinpoint why. You’re so busy crying that you don’t even realize that you start to regress, everything hitting you all at once. You made your best friend leave. Not just your best friend but your caregiver, your beloved daddy. Who’s always so patient and loving and gentle to you.

‘Ugh m so stupid’

You whimper and wipe your eyes messily. It’s embarrassing when you’re like this. Regressing is one thing but impurely regressing is another. It’s been a while since it’s happened but you always hate it the most. You curl up into the comforter, covering yourself all the way so no one can see you. You cry under the comforter, hoping no one will find you but, of course, a gentle hand is placed on top of you. It rubs your back in circles slowly, you know exactly who it is and you’re embarrassed but you can’t help but feel comforted by the touch. You take a peek out from the covers and of course, Ben is there crouched by the bed side looking right back at you. His eyes endless pools of black with only two glowing red dots to show you he’s looking straight back at you. His expression is still relaxed like before and he smiles at you softy.

“Hi baby ♡ “

You coo slightly, a shameful look all over your face. “Mmm… h-hi baba”

His eye brows curve slightly and he moves the comforter from your face so he can see you more.

“Aweee I haven’t heard you call me that in a long time, cutie. You’re really little today huh?”

You nod in agreement but look away, more tears still rolling down your puffy red cheeks. He wipes your tears away and gently fixes your hair. “Yeah I thought so, you never act like this unless you’re in one of your depressy moods. It’s okay little fairy, papa’s here to take care of you now.” He says softy. Ben holds up a plate of finger food, everything on the plate is perfectly baby safe and everything you always favor when you’re particularly little. He saw this comin a mile away and it touches your heart so gently it makes more tears fall from your eyes. What a thoughtful daddy to do all this for you. You sniffle and your lip pouts as you do. He chuckles at the sight and picks up one of the snacks, holding it to your lips as he waits for you to take a bite. “Cmon little lady, have something to eat I bet your little tummy is just waiting to have something yummy in it.”

You take the snack into your mouth and sit up, Ben climbs onto the bed with you and sits with his legs cross-crossed before bringing you into his lap. “There we go, that’s my girl. So strong for me! Can you eat some more? Or are you thirsty?” He holds up a sippy cup with some handles on the side and you’re able to hold it by yourself but that doesn’t stop him from holding it for you anyway. You nod and point to the sippy and he smiles, his ears wiggling happily as he nods. “Sure cutie, open up for dada.”

Ben gives you the sippy and you hold onto it as you take a few long gulps. A breakdown is a lot of hard work! And it’s left you parched. But like mentioned earlier, Ben saw that coming a mile away and has thought of every single thing you’d need. He rests his head onto yours and plays with your hair softly. “You don’t have to tell me what’s going right now if you’re not ready but know I’d still like to know when you are. Not because I’m nosy but I want to support you love bug. I wanna make sure I’m helping you the same way you help me, princess.”

“M sorry dada..”

“No you don’t have to be sorry for anything baby. You are allowed to have your privacy and your private feelings, I just want to know how you are so I know how to help is all. You’re not in trouble at all baby and if you ever need anything and you know I mean anything I’d be more than happy to give it to you.” He kisses your forehead and hugs you, setting the sippy cup down. “If anyone is bothering you I’ll get rid of them without a thought, if theres something I did we can talk it through, if life just seems more unfair than usual then you can always come to me for comfort.”

He looks at you with a sweet smile, “we’re friends at the end of the day aren’t we sweetie?” This melts your heart and you nod before giving him a huge tight hug. He’s your everything but it’s comforting to know he’s still your friend at the end of the day.

“Fankies Bemmie ♡"

He chuckles and ruffles your hair. “Of course, cutie.”

Ben looks out of the window for a moment and an idea strikes his mind.

“Hey, Y/N”

“Mm?” You say as you look to him with a puzzled face.

“Wanna do something fun?” Somehow in those void-like eyes if his theres a twinkle in them. This is definitely worth checking out, so you nod at him with a smile.

“Alrighty then let’s go my little Zelda!” He gets up from the bed, carrying you bridal style as he heads for the door of the room. Not forgetting your snacks, sippy and a blanket he opens the door. What you don’t know is that he also grabbed a secret item without you looking. He makes his way through the corridors of the mansion to the front door, everyone not really paying either of you attention. The only people who really acknowledge you are Toby and his own little who just came back from outside themselves. They’re both giggling and Tony is knelt by his littles feet, helping them take their rain boots off. But he’s struggling just a tad, his tics can get in the way sometimes.

“Hey Ben! Hey Y/N!”

You wave a small hello and Toby’s little gives a big wave back at you which makes you smile. Ben bounces you lightly as he nods in Toby’s direction. “Sup dude. Looks like you guys had a good time.”

Toby finally gets the second boot off and starts taking off their raincoat. “Oh yeah it’s…it’s raining like cra-crazy outside but..but it’s great!” He hangs the raincoat up on the coat rack and grabs his littles hand. “Have…have fun guys!” Ben gives him a wave before opening the door.

“Thanks dude also you forgot to take your boots off go clean up before Slender kills you for real this time.”

“Oh shoot th-anks man.”

With that you and Ben are out the door and he walks to the front porch. He sets your snacks and sippy down before sitting down with you in his lap again. He wraps you both in the blanket he brought and shows you the mystery item: an iPod he’s had since 2010 with some wired headphones. “You feel like watching the rain with your daddy and listening to some music, princess?” You smile and nod as he puts one earbud into your ear but then pause, looking up to him and tugging at his shirt.

“But dada, I thought you no like water cuz uhm wha happen you-“

He laughed and goes to ruffle your hair, “I drowned in a lake, baby, not a puddle.” He says with a playful tone. You giggle back and snuggle into him as he cradles you just like before. He scrolls through his saved songs before landing on some random nightcore song he has saved, one with heavy beats, guitar riffs and only the loudest of screams. You couldn’t ask for more from your cringe gamer boy caregiver. You both sit there watching the rain eating snacks and listening to music. Rainy days were always your favorite. You remind yourself to fee lucky and thankful to have such a loving caregiver like Ben.

-`♡´-

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A/N: This prompt was requested by @p1nkm1lkslug thank you so much for requesting this it was so fun to think of a unique ending for it and I had so much fun making it! I’m so sorry it took so long but I really hope you love it!! ^^ I also hope it’s relatable to all the other littles out there who struggle with impure regression and go through depressive phases/episodes :”) you aren’t alone and I hope this brought you comfort even for a little bit

Please be careful out there guys and be safe, you are loved and cared for I promise ♡

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT BUT THAT BIT WITH TOBY AND HIS LITTLE?? That’s a little Easter egg for another fic I have coming soon >:3

I’ll see you guys next time!

Love,

Kewpie ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

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-`♡´-

[eurydicees]

pls can u tell me everything about fhq and esp fhq iwaoi i don’t really know what it is but every time i see you repost one of those beautiful heart wrenching artworks i want to die in the best way

YES GLADLY I WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING I CAN !!! under the cut because you're getting everything.

ok so some of the history lesson portion of this may be a little off, it's been a hot minute since i've done much research into this lol. but final haikyuu quest first appeared as a spread in one of the bonus pages in the manga! throughout the manga's run were occasionally drawings of the characters in little fake movie posters, one of them being an action/fantasy movie called final haikyuu quest:

this first poster and the original character designers are drawn by furudate! from there, it went on to become a mini bonus game in the haikyuu 3DS game, which is kind of crazy if you think about it too hard.

there's a playthrough uploaded on youtube here, but it's obv in japanese and i don't think there's been a translation of the game. there's a translation of part of it here on tumblr, but i don't think it's complete. poster from the 3DS game:

from there, it went on to be a CD drama (videos 8-10 on this youtube playlist, with subs), which is super neat. it's also one of the haikyuu light novels, but i have yet to find a full english translation of that.

i haven't read the novel or watched the videos with the CD drama audio myself, so i'm not sure how much it differs from the 3DS game. i assume they're pretty similar though.

so the premise at its most simple is that hinata and his party of adventurers are off to defeat the demon king oikawa and his henchmen! those are the basics.

the "canon" characters in hinata's party are hinata, kenma, aone, iwaizumi, and kageyama. on the opposing side we've got oikawa (the demon king), kuroo, and kiyoko. kiyoko has servants in the form of tanaka and nishionoya (they don't care for oikawa, they're just there for kiyoko). there's also michimiya, who is in the "fair princess kidnapped by oikawa" role that hinata & co. are trying to save. the full character profiles can be found here (everyone in game) and here (heroes only)!

now this whole premise is like. a little silly. the whole deal is a little silly. this is a volleyball manga.

with THAT being said, though, sometimes the most fun to be had is when you take the silly thing and make it devastating. and it's so easy to do that with FHQ. so let's talk abt iwaoi now <3

so in the story, oikawa is the demon king. because the premise is so simplistic and boiled down to good v. bad due to, like, this not being a real piece of media, oikawa is objectively on the "bad side." iwaizumi, on the other hand, is a knight, presumably human, and "oikawa's (former) friend."

iwaizumi being oikawa's former friend is literally his speciality and i think about that all the time btw. for context, kageyama's specialty is "prodigy" and hinata's is "strongest decoy." and fucking iwaizumi is out here like yea hey guys i used to be on the bad side but im mad at oikawa so now i'm with y'all. also my specialty in this fantasy universe is that i used to be oikawa's friend :)

like. what the hell. as you may imagine, the iwaoi angst potential here is ENORMOUS. iwaizumi who has betrayed oikawa and joined the heroes' side to take him down, iwaizumi whose greatest strength comes in knowing oikawa in and out, because the villains you love are both the hardest and the easiest to destroy. iwaizumi who loves oikawa, and who cannot save him.

(**side note, there's a lot of kuroken angst potential involved in this au as well, but let's focus on iwaoi for this post and save kuroken for another day)

so, as i said, the game's interpretation of all this is pretty simplistic and pretty silly. but personally i love thinking too hard and finding depth in things that are so not that deep. and it seems like most fhq fans also employ this as a favorite hobby because holy shit the angst people put in this au is INSANE.

the way i've interpreted it myself has been that iwaoi were besties/lovers/unclear situationship until oikawa kind of "fell into the dark side," because this is an au of every fantasy trope possible, and his reign over aoba became corrupted and "evil." iwaizumi betrays him to join hinata and take him down--save the world, at the cost of the demon he loved so much. but that demon, who oikawa was, is gone already, isn't he?

one of my favorite comics about them is here by @/ichigomaniac, where oikawa falls to the dark side and iwaizumi kills him to save the kingdom he loves. another FAVORITE similar one is here by @/hawberries! the premise of a lot of fics/art in this au run along these lines <3333

another super fun interpretation is a 5 part comic by @/duskisnigh, where oikawa and iwaizumi are running a kind of underground rebellion/safehouse in a world demons are oppressed by the human race. but as oikawa sees more and more evil on the behalf of humanity, he gets more and more unhinged until iwaizumi feels that he no longer knows him--and runs away with kageyama, with the intention of taking oikawa down.

personally i think the BEST aus are where iwaizumi--so loyal, so in love--is forced to leave because he can't stand to watch oikawa fall to more darkness, while oikawa himself is so devoted to iwaizumi that it's his love for iwaizumi that is corrupting him.....

in the fic i wrote, it's a story about forbidden love and how oikawa just wants to be allowed to love iwaizumi and he'll fight a war in order to do it. but iwaizumi can't watch oikawa fight this war anymore, because he's getting more and more dark as the war rages on. so he leaves, and was any of this ever worth it?

ggaahadhgjkadg . fhq. its crazy. i have a tag for it here, where i have been curating my favorite art. special shoutout to @/amezure who has some GORGEOUS pieces in their tag. OH ! and some of my fave fics in this au :

in the arms of loyalty and the hands of devotion (iwaoi, 23252 words), self promo lol

i can go anywhere i want (just not home) (kuroken, 3662 words) by keplcrs

wondering if your heart's still open (iwaoi, 683 words), by birdintheriver

Diorama (iwaizumi & kenma, 2027 words) by PlumTea

the ao3 tag is beautiful everywhere you turn, but i have a special love for those fics <3

so yeah that's the general deal! if you ever want to talk more about it, i am HAPPY to discuss !!! pls pls plsplsplsplsplssplsplslpslslslss!!!!!!

[ess-presso]

hellooo im back💥 i adore your tattoo ideas i love queen sm & getting lines from youre my best friend with your best friend? genius truly. if i could get my best friend to get a matching tattoo with me (which would never happen shes so indecisive) id love to get lyrics from a song we both love. also love the little freak lines i love that song sm.

TY for the fic rec again im gonna give u another one because thats how this works now<3 across the hallway by periwinklehelp_123 (dorlene, dorcas and marlene live across the hallway from each other, pretty self explanatory)

now for taylor. im in a reputation kinda mood today sooo....getaway car, gorgeous, call it what you want !

and omg. pisces thats so funny. please tell me u dont have the same bday as remus.

also i love friends & b99 theyre just such perfect feel-good shows. ive recently been watching new girl in my spare time too🫶

also tangled & princess and the frog?? taste. i love those movies sm theyre the superior disney princess movies (although i always was an ariel girl when i was really young LOL)

okay now questions:

have i ever seen a moose - god i wish. i dont even think moose live in my part of canada? (just googled it and they dont. very sad day for me)

temperature over here - rn its 6 degrees, in the summer it gets up to like 30 degrees, & winter usually gets down to around -10 at most.

favourite fic of all time - oooh this is a hard one. now i dont really read fics for any other fandom, its kinda for marauders for me so. my wip favourites are disintegration by moonymoment, crimson rivers by zar, edge by pinkpalaceapartments (another agent-james assassin-reg fic, based on killing eve), kill your darlings by messermoon, and ofc dead or alive (i guess i have a thing for assassin reg and agent james LOL) now for finished fics... the winner is gonna have to go to just lovers (like we were supposed to be) by zar. (and intermission by zar too since it fits in there) its just perfect and i feel like ive reread it a billion times.

fav golden trio era ship - probably luna and neville (do they have a ship name? i cant think of it if they do) they were my favourite characters as a kid so they have a special place in my heart. OH i also love romione because theyre just a classic and i love them sm.

do i write fics - sadly no. ive tried and failed. im not a creative writer at all, in fact im literally the opposite, call me the grammar police. im essentially the designated paper editor among my friends because im fantastic at technical writing and stuff like that, but i cant write for shit. i truly envy people who can create such beautiful stories.

tea or coffee - coffee always. i do love tea and have it probably just as much as coffee but i will always be a coffee girly.

go to outfit - hmm. well i basically live in my doc martens and leather jacket (very sirius of me i must say) and i do love a good baggy jean and band tee look. but on my off days you cannot find me out of my sweatpants or pajamas. its simply not happening.

how many piercings - 4, two on each earlobe. (2 i did myself with a sewing needle, dont recommend) i really wanna get my septum or just the nostril, but i havent decided yet. although id probably never get it, i do love the look of the medusa piercing too its just cool.

area of study - im studying classics and anthroplogy in uni rn! ive always been a history/humanities girly and i love ancient history and languages so much so thats what i decided to do. (plus i was a greek mythology kid so) i think my ideal career path would be archaeologist but that could change at any given moment, so im just seeing where uni takes me.

fun fact about me - hmmm. im left handed! kinda not a fun fact but for some reason i dont know very many left handed people (i swear have we gotten rarer or something??)

now for questions for you:

do you like books? whats your fav book/book series?

fav movie/movies?

whats one place youve always wanted to visit and why?

do you have any go-to pieces of jewelry that you always wear?

fav food?

cats or dogs?

mbti type?

sun, moon, or stars?

fav holiday? (as im writing this im losing it thinking about what you said about lily and james dying on my bday.😭 i just know james answered the door dressed to the nines in some dumb costume)

im so bad at coming up with questions and im running out ideas so ill think of more for next time <3

-bee

bee bee hello my new best friend <333

i know it is genius isn’t it ??? that’s what i keep telling my best friend , but he’s too scared of the needle. my goal is one year. one year and we’ll both get tattoos. and the little freak thing is literally one of my favourite harry songs !!

new girl is honestly like after modern family on my list. i shall get to her one day.

YOU ARE WELCOME FOR THE FIC REC :))))) I’ve now downloaded across the hallway & am very excited to read it , so thank you (i love lesbians & the next door neighbour trope !!)

now fic rec for you (that is what we do now , you are absolutely correct.) - down at the wolfbucks café by WolfstarGarden (ft barista james & remus , where regulus & sirius walk in one day for a cup of coffee.)

and because i’m on a little bit of a drarry kick rn - mental by sara_holmes (ft drarry with a miscast legilimens spell meaning they can hear each other’s thoughts.)

TAY TAY TIME -

(also yes , reputation always! as jake would say , ‘she makes me feel things’)

getaway car - JEGULUS - i’ve claimed this song for doa (it’s very inspired by getaway car) so i’m very excited for it (favourite song on rep , dare i say.) ‘sirens in the beat of your heart , should’ve known i’d be the first to leave , think about the place where you first met me’ - very very relevant for doa. changed my life when i heard this line. and generally ‘sirens in the beat of your heart’ like nee naw nee naw , don’t fall in love with this man , it’s bad for your heart , but aw crap i’m in love with him already !!!

gorgeous - JEGULUS - (keep relating everything to them , but i swear there are other ships i relate with other songs ) ‘you ruined my life by not being mine’ regulus watching james dance at a club & fuming because someone’s dancing against him (he doesn’t know that james is doing it on purpose to make him jealous) ‘you make me so happy it turns back to sad’ I LOVE IT it’s them them. ‘you’re so gorgeous , i can’t say anything to your face’ i can just imagine reg being all mean to him (it’s his way of flirting , poor chap.)

call it what you want - JEGULUS - (again I feel the need to apologise. i relate everything to them , they’re my current hyperfixation.) ‘brought a knife to a gunfight’ ‘They fade to nothing when I look at him ,And I know I make the same mistakes every time , Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right, I did one thing right’ - IT’S SO THEM IN MY HEAD !!! like imagine a celeb au , and this is reg afterwards where he’s being all smooth with it , because he’s finally home with james AHHHHHH.

chatting time -

i just assumed everywhere in canada had mooses. just like i see foxes everywhere here . that’s a little disappointing , tbh , they should have mooses everywhere.

6 degrees??? damn that’s almost warm compared to the weather here (1 degree) . & it gets into he negatives ( I don’t remembered a minus ten , but i could be wrong.) however , i still think london cold is colder than any other cold. it just hits different. like absolutely ten times worse.

and the fics , dstg , cr , kyd , are all on my list ( i paused cr at chap two so I am absolutely avoiding spoilers with a BAT) and edge (KILLING EVE ??? OH MY GOD IT’S GOING ON THE LIST.) . thank u so so much for putting dead or alive on this list !!! I’m so happy you liked reading it just as much as i love writing it !!

just lovers & intermission are also on my list. my lessons are currently fucking me up so i have zero free time , & i’ve got mocks coming up in a little while. but once i’m free , i will absolutely read this it sounds so cute and comforting!!

ahhh luna & neville ?? that’s so sweet ?? (vis a vis ship name - luville is what i’d go for :) ) & i love romione too (unfortunately will not be reading any fics with them as the main ship , they’re just not compelling enough for me ) i personally love drarry (& dramione sometimes , lil bit of a guilty pleasure u might say) and their fics stab me in my heart and put them back together (isolation , temptation on the warfront (fave drarry fic ever) , it was all just a game , wait and hope)

AND SAME . I’m literally the grammar editor for my bets friend . // ‘edit my paper’ ‘use grammarly’ ‘you went to a grammar school. you ARE my grammarly.’ // literally even my school friends , the ones who went to this grammar school with me , use me as their editors . I’m being used , honestly. (i make them buy me things in exchange though.)

YOU CHOSE COFFEE ?? as a british person , this is blasphemy. absolute blasphemy. *sips tea with pinky finger sticking out*

leather jacket & doc martens ?? so sirius black of u , yes. ( me looking at my red converse , jeans & plain ol’ shirt.) BAND TEES BAND TEES BAND TEES. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE BAE. I unfortunately own like one of them , but my best friend owns so so many and one day , when he’s not home , i’ll break in and take a couple. maybe. not getting out of sweats & pjs is so real of you & same honestly. nothing beats netflix & pjs with a glass of something sparkly & a tube of smarties for me.

BRO not the sewing needle , how did you not get an infection ?????? one of my friends has a septum piercing (her parents do not know this !) so she hides up her nose when she’s at home. she got a cold recently, and she describes sneezing with the septum piercing ‘the most painful thing i’ve ever fucking felt.’ so u know. advice. i myself advise you to get the nostril pierced. i think it would be very cool of you (but of course i am in favour of whatever you wish to do)

AHHHHHHH I WAS ALSO A GREEK MYTHOLOGY KID!!!!! i knew the story of troy by heart , and i still do. i still do. love meeting another greek nerd honestly we’re so cool !!! AND YOU STUDY CLASSICS ??? that’s so cool of u honestly. there’s a joke in latin (here at least ) where we say ‘caecilius est in horto’ does that carry over there in canada ?? or am i just speaking tosh right now?? & anthropology too ?? u just keep getting more and more awesome. (i wanted to be an archaeologist too , at one point. decided saving lives was more my thing.somtimes tho , when i watch spy movies & i come out of the cinema , i do say i will become an agent.but i never will.) & yes let life carry u on ur way .

left-handed people are depleting. i know one left handed person in real life & she says it’s a real struggle. (my goal in life is to become ambidextrous though.)

QUESTION TIME 🕰️-

I LOVE BOOKS !!!! (took english lit for a level , I gotta have had loved reading in some way!) my favourite books when i was a kid was hp , but now they’re the ‘a good girls guide to murder series’ i highly recommend them , ravi singh is my personal fave. for a singular book ? you must never ask a bookworm this, it’s a cardinal sin. i’ll give you my top four

gods of jade and shadow

a thousand splendid suns

if we were villains

little women

(these books changed my life , I highly recommend.)

and my favourite movies ? top three -

jumanji (the first one)

the proposal (ryan & sandy have my HEART. writing an au of them right now ‘born or invented.’ jegulus of course , because margaret can’t swim , and neither can he.)

the hunger games movies (peeta>>>> gale)

hp movies (poa & ootp especially)

i do have more , (some aren’t even english) but my mind is blank rn. watching the apprentice atm & the boys just won the first ep. the girls are all sad & i’m very sorry for them.m (one of them will have to go home, but one of them also keeps calling herself the ‘kim k of business women’ as if kim wasn’t already a business women.)

place i wanted to visit?? new york - i always wanted to go there. friends takes place there , it’s the big apple , yk???? I love it so much on tv & i do want to see all the ways americans are different. want a big gulp cup , i want to experience a lil british privilege. want to go to the concrete jungle , for sure.

my earrings, and this pandora bracelet which has a snitch clasp & the ‘i open at the close inscription’ it’s very dear to me. also also a gold necklace with a double dolpin. i wear these three all the time , but sometimes i also like wearing lots of rings , but i’m in a lab for a lot of the time so it’s very inconvenient for me.

fave food- pop tarts and also this Chinese takeaway from near my place??? i’m in heaven whenever i eat it. i go out often , and nothing has ever beat that. i also love the cookies & brownies from this bakery near my bus stop & i honestly love them so much. (me and my best friend went there every day after our gcses honestly.)

cats or dogs - cats. (sorry sirius) but i would never say no to a pupper! always pet one if the owner lets me!!

mbti type - INFJ-T (i’m an advocate?? yes yes i think that’s good :)) )

stars !! always stars!! (technically the sun is also a star , but i digress) stars make pretty constellations and as an ex-astronomy student, i love them so much.

fave holiday - CHRISTMAS !!!!! a london christmas is IMMACULATE. honestly the vibes are unreal. the lights on oxford street and everything ✨

& the halloween thing ?? i’m sorry , oh my god , your birthday is now the deathday of the greatest parents ever 💔.

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING JAMES OPENED THE DOOR ??? HE DID NOT DO THIS ??? voldy broke down the door , my friend , i promise even james isn’t that trusting.

but i agree he was so dressed in a dumb costume anyways .

q’s for next time

fave rarepair ?

fuck marry kill james sirius remus

what place do you want to visit and why?

fave book / book series ?

most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done ?

favourite thing you own?

if your life was a movie , what would you call it ?

(as usual , bee , come back in my inbox asap i will miss u otherwise. and keep it coming with the taylor songs , this is my daily bread.)

[shotorozu]

i feel like im annoying lol but here i am again 🥴

🥴 how do da boys react to a super bimbo mc like shes busty, sweet, innocent, helpful as much as she can be and doesnt really realize when people are hitting on her, she just thinks theyre being extra friendly. (Tamaki, izuku, shoto, denki, bakougo) or any of ur choice

Sorry if I’m being annoying ( •᷄ὤ•᷅)？ and tysm

bimbo s/o

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, amajiki tamaki (bnha)

probably (?) part one // ?

legend : [Y/N = your name] female! s/o, quirk not specific

headcanon type : fluff, crack (x reader)

note(s) : sooo 🤩 it’s my birthday tomorrow, not excited about that?? not sure! but im definitely gonna post more tomorrow, just because

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

you didn’t seem like his type tbh. you’re kinda an airhead, and you’re sweet and helpful to everyone

and awfully innocent,,

so, you seemed like the person that bakugou would try and stay away from, but nope!

not in this case. i’m not sure what conspired in this explosive blond’s head, but he had a oddly specific attraction to you

he used to hate being around you, but it’s also quite entertaining being around you but why, you may ask?

not only are you super nice, and helpful, but you’re very likable too! which caused you to get secret admirers, and fanboys

but you also so happen to be clueless as fuck, so katsuki would always stick around— obviously very amused, only to tell you what their true intentions are

“what do they mean, go out? like,, outside?”

“no, dumbo. they wanna date you.”

“..like the calendar?”

“hah?? are you dumb?” he actually hated how oblivious you were at first, but he just got used to it

but this clueless airhead trait of yours is what he also hates, because when he developed feelings for you— he’d have to tell you

and,, he’s not the best with being direct with romantic stuff. so— you can see how that went.

he ended up confessing you in the most direct way he could’ve said it, but you still. didn’t. understand.

“fuck sake, i want to be your significant other. your fucking lover, the bitch that’ll be with you until this dumbass brain of yours stops working.”

okay, he was a little too direct, but at least you know his feelings!

when you both finally get together, everyone is shocked. like,, you, the sweetheart that likes helping people— dating thee bakugou katsuki??

everyone thought you were threatened to date him, because you didn’t understand other people’s advances— but in reality, katsuki just told you what he felt

straight from the heart.

also, since you’re also quite busty, katsuki loves sleeping on them— he literally won’t sleep, until he has his head resting on those milkers of yours

“maybe this is all you’re good for, huh? a fuckin’ head rest. there might not be anything up there, but at least it gives me some good fuckin’ sleep.”

he,, doesn’t mean that. you’re useful in so many other ways, but he loves pretending that he thinks that way, because of your replies

“ah, yes! i’m fine with being your head rest, katsuki. rest well, love!”

you’re not hurt, because he makes it a point to tell you multiple times a day that you mean lots to him.

but he gets super mad when people tell you that you’re stupid. because he can only tell you that!!

todoroki shouto

you also didn’t seem like you’d be his type,, everyone thought he would’ve wanted someone that’s smart as momo, or something similar

but he’s very content with being with you, for reasons he can’t seem to figure out.

he has his habit of watching you help people from afar, and he couldn’t help but smile whenever he engages in conversations with you

yeah sure, you might be more of an airhead than most people— but you have a heart of gold! and that’s what gathered his attention

sometimes, he’s quite clueless to some social cues— but even he can connect the dots

which you can’t seem to do. but you’re in luck! shouto’s usually the one that tells you what they mean

it’s something he loves and hates, only because of how popular you are with people in general.

sometimes, shouto debates if he should even tell you what they mean— because well,, he likes you.

usually, shouto would interpret things to you like this

“,, they like you,, romantically.”

“shou, are you sure? they look like they wanna be my friend!” he lets you call him by his first name, just because of how content you look by calling him ‘shouto’

he ends up whispering something into your ear, and your eyes light up in realization. “oh! so how princess bubblegum likes marceline?”

“,, yeah.”

but being shouto todoroki has it’s advantages. he isn’t afraid of being as direct as he could possibly be.

“may i have the honor of being your lifelong partner?”

“..?”

“oh, romantically. i’d love to be your lover, Y/N.”

“..oh! that’s what you meant.”

the way he sees you stumble with your words, as you pace back in forth— completely flustered by his words

makes him smile

and it all ends well when his friends see that his wallpaper is literally him laying down on your chest

which is something he always wanted to do

“shouto,, did you finally confess?!”

“yes. they said yes.”

they’re not really surprised that you understood, courtesy to shouto’s bluntness.

he is your protector against all of the people that make you seem useless. man literally lashed out when his father asked him to date someone with ‘more intelligence’

“Y/N may not be the definition of being book smart, but Y/N’s not useless!”

in short— he’s the bimbo protector! he’ll always be patient around you, and he would never dare to dumb you down.

amajiki tamaki

oh lOrd, please help him

you’re so kind, sweet, and helpful. you’d help anyone— regardless of their personality. and that’s what made tamaki interested in you

but you’re also very popular. which he could see why— since you’re attractive in a unique and special way.

tamaki absolutely disliked the idea of your kindness being taken advantaged of. i mean,, the guts of some people!

but he also hated being the one to break the news to you good or bad

he’s not good with the blunt stuff either, and he might’ve been worried about being around you— because well,, you look like you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

“tamaki, what do they mean by ‘coming home with them for a nice time’ do they.. want to play mario cart with me?”

he looks like he needs to pass out, but he ends up telling you anyway. he’s just lucky that you could hear him.

but he sighs in relief when you end up kindly declining

nejire and mirio are SO amused by this pairing. i mean, it’s an interesting dynamic! how could they not be invested?

yet, they refuse to even explain things to you, especially when tamaki’s around to do said explaining

because apparently, ‘it’ll help you socialize more, especially with Y/N!’

but remember when i said that tamaki wasn’t great with the blunt approach? yeah— he’d have a heart attack, just trying to explain his feelings

“i— uhm how do i say this,, would you like t-to go out for some dinner with m-me?”

“oh sure! i should go tell mirio and nejire” you’d say that with a smile, and it felt like he was going to pass away on the spot.

nejire and mirio were the ones the tell you that ‘no, tamaki doesn’t want to be friendly with you, because he wants to romantically date you.’

and it felt like forever when they were explaining how and why, while tamaki was sitting in the corner.

but thank GOD! because you like him too!

super hesitant on resting on your chest, i mean,, to him, it looked like the nicest pillow for the deepest sleep! but he wasn’t sure if that’d be okay

because no!! to!! taking!! advantage!! of!! Y/N’s!! kindness!!

speaking of that, despite the fact that he’s socially awkward— he will not hesitate on defending you from any haters!

like, when people say that “tamaki and Y/N are such an awkward couple. tamaki’s super awkward, it looks like there’s nothing in Y/N’s brain. maybe she’s brainless”

because how dare they. not everyone is book smart— but that doesn’t give people the right to call you stupid!

“Y/N’s not brainless! she’s kind, helpful, and the sweetest p-person i have ever met. i suggest you take that back!”

in short— it gives him heart palpitations just having to explain things to you, but at the end of the day, it’s all worth it, if he can be with you

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[wataeichis]

*sits down in your inbox* hi can i hear your hcs about the 5 eccentrics as individuals + as a group bc the tags of that rb interested me

pls

hi this took a bit to answer bc i spent forever trying to come up with these im kinda bad at hcs but i hope theyre still to ur liking! it did get kind of long though oops.....

alsooo cw addiction, light mentions of an eating disorder, and general mental illness things because these are not all super light hearted

rei - okay starting off with what I mentioned in the tags but I think he may have old addiction issues from before 3rd year and maybe before from being in a very stressful situation (kind of his whole life rlly being a head of like 2 cults but the war def amplified his stress), the Mental Illness(tm), and often being in bar scenes to perform idk what kind but! he’s probably over them now and he doesn’t like his friends talking about drinking or inviting him out bc bad feelings

- after the effects of the war he pulls away from all of his friends that’s like. canon but during !! i like to think he gets closer with people again slowly (mainly bc of kaoru helping him open up but that’s a rant for another time), and he sometimes uses his friends as pillows </3 it’s his way of showing he trusts them

- he still hangs out in graveyards bc he’s a weirdo /affectionate he’ll go there and pay respects and care for graves that seem to be abandoned and then read quietly if no one’s around so that the dead doesn’t feel lonely

- not cis at all but he doesn’t care for gender he just likes being cute sometimes and edgy other times (an old vampire like him can’t be bothered with modern gender norms /j)

- he’s such a nerd he can tell you about the entire chronological history of any country or generally any school subject but if his phone dies he’s crying to kaoru that he doesn’t know how to turn it back on…… he knows so many things but also!!!! nothing

shu

- he finds swearing unsightly but he also knows a lot of French swear words that he uses and no one catches him on it

- not necessarily shu but madonee likes sharing shus secrets because she loves the drama

- he keeps detailed teacups and fancy tea sets in the handicraft room bc even tho he hates guests he LOVES to show hospitality and will only have the best for his guests

- he sleeps in one of those dreamy canopy princess beds

- i have a shuP friend who feeds me lore and it seems like madonee is implied to be an introject of kuros mother (from before she died) and I feel like sharing that in case you didn’t know!

- i like to think he likes taking care of people a lot in !! and maybe it’s meant to be atonement for how he was in the past or perhaps it’s just the mothering side of him he picked up on from kuros mom (before the war and madonee even) and so when his close ones are upset he likes to be the first to be there to support them and make sure they’re well

kanata

- im. torn because i think he’s autistic but one of my special interests is psychology and i know that he’s probably just like that because of a severe lack of socialization and stunted social development and all of his specific trauma but also. immediately after i got into enstars I was like wow!! hes like me!! so do with this information as you will

- he likes mothering not just humans but (non land) animals so even if he doesn’t enjoy his family he enjoys working at the aquarium for the animals and he sometimes babysits shinobus frogs but with humans even he likes mothering and taking care of his juniors as much as he can, when people joke he’s like chiakis wife he doesn’t mind it at all

- he’s very touch starved and loves hugs from his friends randomly or cuddling (his dorm is all bestys and they platonically cuddle just bc they all need a little extra love </3)

- he wants to be close with madara again but he doesn’t know how to (and he’s a little scared of being hurt/mama leaving again) so he tends to just push mama away but sometimes, mama comes to him injured and knows kanata will take care of them. they never talk about those moments but kanata appreciates the trust mama puts in him

- he likes sugar a lot he never got it growing up and now he just has stashes of sugary treats

- chiakis parents love him he makes their son so happy (in a ship or non-ship way either works) and even if at first it was. hard to get used to the “hey my besty is a ex cult leader who doesn’t know how to be human” they love him and want to smother him in parental affection

wataru

- i think it’s implied in some stories ? but if not i like the idea that he’s from america (or some other english country) he probably wasn’t actually found in a river like he says just. hiding the fact that he was from an orphanage but i think he started trying to become an idol not just because of “genius from birth” like some others but more. because he wanted to prove he was worth something and wouldnt be tossed to the side

- he likes wearing his friends clothes (he steals all of eichis sweaters mostly) because they make him feel loved and wanted for more than just his skills as a performer

- i wrote a fic about this once based on some vague references in stories but he? just doesn’t eat and im fairly certain it’s not an eating disorder i think he views life as his stage as a performer and eating during the “performance” isn’t allowed but the exceptions tend to be a) his day off! a boy needs to rest and he’ll happily eat with fine on eichi day no problem and b) if someone offers him food, he can’t say no, because it’s the script for this play (life. the play is life dude u have issues)

- i think he’d find dancing relaxing like ballet or ballroom dance he finds it a nice way to ease his stress especially if he gets to be near someone he trusts (and he doesn’t trust a lot of people)

- he has joint/muscle pain constantly u can’t take this hc away from me he’s overworking himself and constantly in plays/performing on stage there’s no way he’s always in peak physical condition (ignoring how he can dislocate his own joints. u good dude?)

- he likes collecting weird things like plants and books he probably won’t ever read and ugly shirts that he won’t wear in public and idol merch of his friends bc he’s horrible with his money and theoretically eichi would buy him literally anything but he feels baaaaad and wants to earn things himself

- gender doesn’t exist! wataru does not need a gender his gender is [          ]

natsume

- the trans guy of all time (not even inspired by his backstory of dressing like a girl I know why that was but I think he’s still just so very trans regardless of that)

- he’s. a very sad individual i would think he likes to push away his emotions as a defense mechanism but he needs a hug

- wannabe emo he constantly has accessory chains jingling with every step bc edgy

- he’s probably got a caffeine addiction and I don’t mean that in the quirky way I mean he’s like. nocturnal stays up all night doing witchy stuff but is still expected to go to school in the morning

- his parents have issues but that’s not what this is about but i think he’s very attached to them especially his mom that’s like canon but sometimes if the stress of his life is building up he’ll go stay with them for a weekend instead of the dorms just

- his wiki lists that he likes piercings but he. doesn’t have any i think he’s afraid of needles so he likes to give piercings to other ppl instead because he would probably faint if you even implied the idea of him getting a piercing

as a group!

- okay so I said some stuff abt a few individuals but none of them are cis actually. this is up to interpretation but none of them are

- bi-weekly outings to cafes (shu joins via video call if he’s not in japan)

- it’s. a little rough after the war can’t sugar coat things rei hardly lets anyone close to him and they all collectively stopped trusting wataru (im eternally left trying to figure out how the heck he went from being enemies with them to friends again in like. a month) but they’re getting better!

- emotional support system! they all love and care for each other deeply (platonically, imo) and it’s hard with them all being So Very Mentally Ill(tm) but they try their best to be there to support each other

- eichi is definitely a sensitive topic. wataru loves him and dislikes negative talk of eichi in his presence, rei and kanata are neutral (as of !! more so for rei), natsume and shu despise him…. makes it tricky to get along sometimes!

- they play card games together, bc most of them don’t know how to use a phone properly im not sure if this is quite what u wanted but i hope u enjoy nonetheless !! also. i very much hope that the read more works... i, like the oddballs, am horrible with technology!

[sashi-ya]

Hiii! Firstly bless you and your blog😩❤❤ im so glad i follow you now and secondly can i request a nsfw of luffy,zm zorro or kidd tbh. I'll take any of em

Baby!! thank u! Of course! I chose Luffy because I think that there is not enough NSFW of him out there. Yet, I might have gotten a lot into it and ended up writing more than 2K words hahaha. I hope it's ok with you! I included some fluff too 💖✨ ~

NSFW ~ Monkey D. Luffy x F! Reader ~ Moonlight 🌙🌟

TW: Nsfw. Fluff. Shooting stars. First time together. Confessing love. A little bit of Angst. Oral, vag, masturbation.

A/N: I was listening to "Moonlight" by Ariana Grande and got inspired because for some reason it reminds me of Luffy. I included some verses of the song too. If you want, you could listen to the song while reading this fic ♥ ~

WC: ~ 2.4K

Summer breeze, twinkling stars on a velvety dark sky. The moon shines brighter than ever. The lights of the Thousand Sunny go has been all turned off as all nakamas went to sleep. Tonight you are on guard, so you head up to the crow's nest. But you notice someone is sitting over the lion's (sun) head of the ship looking at the immense sky above him. Who else could be sitting there if not Luffy?

Luffy, your captain, and the man you fall in love with since the very first time you saw his smile.

He saved you, even if you weren't a princess in distress, you were saved from the pits of despair, from the darkness that was surrounding you. Luffy brightens your world with just a smile and the proposal you will always cherish in your memory.

"Join my crew, be my nakama".

But you love this man in silence, Luffy is not interested in love or relationships, Luffy only wants to be free, Luffy wants to be the king… or that’s what you think. You have accepted your faith and love him from the dark ever since.

A shooting star crosses the sky, you see Luffy lifting his arms. Perhaps he saw it too and made a wish? Perhaps he is just excited with the beauty of it.

But you did make a wish. Even if it felt somehow selfish, you just couldn't help it. You squeeze your eyes and softly whisper "I wish Luffy would love me as much as I love him".

"Who am I trying to fool? If I am somehow a distraction to achieve his dreams, then please don't love me" you think.

The sweet voice of Luffy breaks the silence of the night; "Oi!! Oi! (Name)!". "Great, I'm also hearing voices now" you grunt as you slowly open your eyes. But you weren't, Luffy was waving at you from his special spot, being bathed by the shine of the silver moon in the sky.

"Did you see the shooting star??" He asks and doesn't wait for you to come closer to him, but instead, he stretches his arms and takes you next to him.

Your ass hits the strong wood of Sunny's head. "Luffy… I did" you tell him, panting and embarrassed to be in his arms. He let's go of you and flashes a big smile. "It was really bright and big, wasn't it?" You say, just to break the ice.

"It was, yes. I asked for a wish… you know?" He says, his eyes becoming sad. "You did? I hope your wish gets fulfilled ~" you say, hoping the same with yours.

"Maybe someday…" he says, sighing and looking down. The straw hat covers his face.

You haven't seen Luffy act like this since you know him, it is so weird for you. But, at the same time, you are glad he is showing his true emotions to you. Luffy always acts so strong, so happy even if his heart is breaking, because above all things he knows he has to be ok to take care of you all and doesn't want to bother you at all.

“Are you ok, Lu?” you ask, trying to see his face from under the strawhat that is hiding his expressions. He sighs once again, and then looks at you with a smile. You know he is smiling because he doesn’t want to worry you. “Don’t smile if you don’t feel like it, Luffy. You can talk to me about what’s going on…” you tell him, brushing your thumb over the scar he has on his cheek. You panic inside you, “why am I touching him?!”.

Luffy sneaks his arms around you, this is a normal practice he has. The gum boy always hugs all of you and kisses you goodnight. In your mind you constantly repeat “this is just something he does with everyone”, yet your heart beats faster and faster. You look at him, burning cheeks, thinking what to say while inside your body a storm takes part. You are fighting against yourself not to kiss him, not to tell him how much you love him.

“(Name), do you think Ace is looking at me from the sky?” he asks, pointing at the dark firmament above you. Luffy is now resting his head on your lap. You melt at such a sweet question. “He definitely does, Luffy. Look, see that star? The one that shines the most? the one Nami told you is called Venus and she uses it as a guide for navigation? That one, that one is Ace. He guides you from there, shining bright just for you to see him when everything gets darker” you tell him, pointing at the flickering brilliance.

“Shi shi shi shi!” he laughs with his finger under his nose. “Hi Ace!” he waves at the sky, smiling from ear to ear. You are glad he is truly happy now. And because Luffy’s grin is so contagious you smile just like him, a warmth in your heart that makes you feel so full of love.

He hugs you tight, “thank you, Name…”. Luffy stands up, takes his hat off and puts on your head. He presses it down, so you can feel the weight of his hand over your head. That means how much he cares about you, how much he wants to protect you and doesn’t want to lose you for nothing in the whole world. And you smile, this is enough for you…

“You have a star also, you know?” he tells you all of a sudden, looking at the sky and lending you a hand to stand up. You took his hand and rose up, trying not to lose equilibrium. “Do I?” you ask. “Uhum, that one!” Luffy points towards the moon. “Luffy, that’s the Moon!” you tell him, surprised. “Yeah, and look how pretty it is! It shines so much! It lights up the dark sky, just like you and Ace!” he says, so naturally. You shake your head; you just can’t believe the words you just listened to. “Am I the Moon for him?” ...

And suddenly, Luffy turns around, hugging you from your waist, planting the sweetest kiss on your lips you have ever felt. The wish, did your wish come true?... Of course it did!

“Luffy… did you know the moon shines because of the Sun’s rays?” you tell, both of you pressing your foreheads. “It does?” he asks, already knowing the answer. “Uhum, you are the Sun. My Sun. You light up everyone’s world with your smile”.

“You make me smile…” he says and stretches his arm to the crow’s nest, while the other one gets wrapped around your waist. And there you go, recklessly flying from the deck to the lookout tower. Panting, you are left on the ground. Luffy usually hits Zoro or Sanji against the walls, but not you. He always protects you, and treats you like a princess. “Are you on guard tonight?” he asks. “I am…” you say, not sure why he is asking.

“Then, come here” he tells and softly pushes you against the little bed Zoro usually uses when he wants to rest after an intense training session. “L-Luffy?” you ask, embarrassed as hell. What is he doing?...

The future king lays next to you on the little cot, he wraps his arms around you and both of you are again nose touching. “I’m in love with you (Name)…” he whispers. You gasp. “He does?”. You took some minutes to process the man you thought would never love you, just said the opposite.

“Uh… I… I am… I am too…” you stutter but giggle once you have confessed your feelings. “I know, shi shi shi shi” he laughs and plants another sweet kiss on your lips. But this time, it doesn’t end in a peck… his tongue looks for yours, and slowly but surely it becomes into a sweet, steamy make out session. You’ve always known Luffy hides this behaviour very well. His innocence does not mean he cannot be passionate in bed…

And you let yourself go, accepting that your sweet captain can also be a man, a man that can and will send you to heaven. The hands of Mugiwara no Luffy travel up and down your body. He wants you so bad. You help him take off your clothes. You are left completely naked in front of him, in body and soul, ready to be taken.

Luffy, softly, gently, lovely kisses you once more, then lowers his kisses through your neck to your chest. He does it so slow, you wouldn’t think he could be that calm… but he is, he wants to enjoy every inch of your skin. Your flesh reacts to his lips, little spasms, little stings of pleasure.

His hands are now on your thighs, a place he also kisses delightedly. “You are so perfect, (Name)” he exclaims, amazed with the beauty of your anatomy. You brush his black hair, looking at his face, somehow that kid face is not there anymore, his eyes show lust, passion, and love.

“Can I?” he asks, before touching your panties. “Yes…” you allow him, amazed by the respect he has for you and your body… After all, he is Luffy.

He smiles, and little by little takes your panties off, sliding the fabric through your thighs, to your knees and finally through your feet. Luffy kisses each spot as he lowers the underwear.

He sighs, nervously looking at your entrance. You bite your lip, a little embarrassed. This is the first time Luffy sees you naked, he is discovering every inch of your body. The gum gum boy looks at you, eyes widen, he swallows. He is nervous, he doesn’t want to ruin this moment… if he only knew he is perfect no matter what…

He takes air, his fingers softly graze your pelvis. He leans forward, his mouth reaching your sex. Soft kisses, and shy tongue. He tastes the honey of your arousal, and in a matter of seconds he loses his calm. Luffy devours you, dedicatedly, passionately enjoying the sweet taste of you. And you arch your back, grabbing the sheets as he also sticks his index inside you.

Moaning and panting, he does it so well. You are amazed by the way he is able to please you, fixing his eyes on your pleasure expressions as you come.

Luffy settles over you, caressing your cheek as your breathing returns back to normal. “I love you” he whispers. You flash a smile, completely drunk with love and lust.

And you have always wanted to taste his skin, to kiss every single corner of his body, so you softly straddle your hips over him. You take off his red kimono while kissing his lips. His chest exposed, you admire the red scar that resembles an X, his strong abs, little past wounds that still need some healing. “I wanted this for so long, Luffy…” you confess, attacking his neck.

You could have sworn his skin would have no scent at all due to the gum, but you were wrong. A subtle manly aroma mixed with the little drops of sweat invades your nose. Deliciously intoxicated, your lips leave a path of kisses all towards his belly. Quiet moans left his mouth as you kiss the tight gum skin, that doesn’t feel at all like it.

Lower and lower your smooches go. You now kneel on the bed, just to kiss his hip bones. Luffy, lost in pleasure, can only run his fingers through your hair. You untie the waist string, allowing the kimono to open fully. To your surprise he is not even wearing underwear. You take your hand to your mouth when you discover the size of his manhood.

“L-uffy…” you stutter. “What baby?” he asks, acting all innocent. “Don’t make it grow anymore…” you say, completely aware of the fact that he can control its length to his own liking due to his devil fruit. “Ah.. sorry, sorry” he says laughing. You can’t help but laugh with him.

But of course, this is not over, so your mouth reaches the throbbing member of your lover. Strings of precum drip from it, product you lick delightedly. Salty heaven that makes Luffy clench his jaw whenever your tongue plays with it. But you want more, and so you put his whole length into your mouth, sucking, up and down, licking and also stroking his shaft.

Luffy moans louder, hopefully no one has listened, yet not sure of it. He buckles up his hips against you, making the tip of his sex graze your throat. Watery eyes, sight that enjoys the man in front of you submitting to you, lost in pure lust and desire.

“(N-ame… Name…) come here… I- I- let me…” he says panting, pulling from you. In an instant Luffy has settled his body over you. Grabbing your wrists with just one hand above your head and grabbing his dick with the other. “Let me… Can I?” he asks, and you of course nod, biting your lip. Your sex is begging to be filled by him, desperately asking for it.

And inside he goes, deep, deep inside. In and out, violent thrusts, repeating how much he loves you, fixing his eyes on yours. Making sweet, sweet love to you. Yet feeling the power of his Emperor’s Haki as he pounds into you.

Sweet like candy, but he is such a man…

And both of you come, panting, sweating, at the same time as those romantic movies. You aching your back, moaning his name. Luffy panting, kissing your lips, muzzled I love yous, filling you with his warm seed...

The moonlight that filters through the glass walls of the crow’s nest bathes Luffy’s back as he pants, still inside you, looking into your eyes with pure love and desire. That night, both of your wishes came true…

Because they were exactly the same...♥ ~

[bumbleklee]

Hihi! I hope you dont mind this request :3 Could you do a headcannon or oneshot with zhongli, xiao, ganyu, hu tao, and a reader? I have this headcannon they’d be a family in a modern au and it’s ndjddjsjjejsehhwje Or Zhongli ‘creates’ (?) a new adepti and xiao and ganyu help raise them like a little sibling fnfnsdjjdjssj The reader would be the youngest sibling :) Hu Tao as the second youngest Xiao as the middle child Ganyu as the oldest And Zhongli as their dad <3

this is so cute im gonna cry (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) i went with a modern au bc my brain is short circuiting tonight lol. also there's chili near the end because brainrot (was listening to the song “the best day” by tswift while reading these so yktv)

it���s very sfw, just cut for length  

your mother passed away shortly after you were born, leaving you and your three siblings in the care of your father

zhongli was devastated, of course, but knew he needed to be strong for everyone

fortunately, zhongli had a well-paying job so your family never struggled

when you were a freshman in high school, ganyu was already in college so you took over her bedroom that you shared with hu tao

without ganyu around to rope you guys in, life at home was total chaos

hu tao loved to play pranks on you and xiao like putting flour in your blow dryer or turning off the internet connection when xiao was fighting a boss in his favorite video game

xiao, like most teenage boys, often retaliated and it was you who had to pull them apart from killing each other

despite the constant sibling bickering and arguing, the three of you had an unexplainable bond and zhongli’s heart melted when he came home from a rough day at work to find the three of you curled up on the couch watching a movie together

zhongli is the best dad in the entire world

he was a “cool” dad, too

he let your house be the party-house as long as everyone gave him their car keys and slept over

he actually liked looking out his bedroom window to seeing you and your friends having the time of your lives in the pool (his motto: you all deserved to have a fun childhood)

he was very comforting too and his speciality was being able to fit all four kids (teenagers) in his arms at once

if zhongli realized you were upset, he would take you out to spend the day with him, window shopping or eating at your favorite restaurant and ending the day with a snuggle in front of the tv (no matter how old you were)

one time, you and hu tao woke up to an eighteen year-old xiao wrapped up in a blanket next to zhongli on the couch

zhongli has special nicknames for all of you (ganyu is ganny, xiao is kiddo and will always be kiddo, hu tao is princess, and you’re bug)

you’re closest to hu tao

she’s two years older than you and is the only one of your siblings who doesn’t treat you like a baby all the time

she’s definitely the rebellious kid and you know all of her hiding spots for things (you would never snitch on her though)

xiao and ganyu are very protective of you

ganyu just wants you to make smart decisions while xiao threatens anyone who comes near you with a romantic interest

it was annoying at first to have such an overprotective older brother but when your very first relationship ended horribly, you were glad xiao was there to kick their ass and bring you ice cream

when ganyu comes home from college, it’s like a celebration

you and hu tao will run at her and nearly tackle her to the ground in excitement

xiao stands around usually but is always happy she’s home too

birthdays are a big deal in your home

zhongli likes to surprise everyone with “blank days until your birthday” gifts as an excuse to spoil you kids 

he lets you do whatever you want on your birthday too

if you want to go a fancy restaurant, sure. if you want to have a huge birthday party at the house, go for it. if you want to stay in your room all day, alright. his mindset is that it’s one day a year that about you and only you

zhongli is so supportive of you guys

if you’re questioning your gender or sexuality, he’ll listen to you

he’s very progressive and all he wants is for you kids to be happy

when zhongli starts dating a man named childe when you’re sixteen, everyone reacts differently

ganyu is excited, happy her dad finally met someone new after so many years of being alone

xiao is indifferent. at first he’s upset, thinking zhongli is going to forget about their mom, but once he reassures him he’s not, xiao comes around

like ganyu, you’re happy for zhongli. you like childe and you know he makes your dad happy so you’re happy

hu tao, on the other hand, is very against it

anytime zhongli tried to date someone new when she was younger, she had thrown a tantrum and cried for her mom

zhongli, not wanting to make his daughter upset, usually broke off the relationship

but now she was eighteen and she couldn’t really throw a tantrum

so when zhongli told everyone he was dating childe and hu tao ran off to the basement, the three of you followed her

you found out that had similar thoughts to xiao and thought zhongli was dating someone new to replace your mother

it took a lot of coaxing and tears but finally, hu tao came to terms with the situation

surprisingly, she had the best relationship with childe after a while

when you’re graduating high school, zhongli realizes all his babies grew up

(he suffers from empty nest syndrome)

“So, what do you think?” You grinned, watching your siblings and father admire your new dorm room. Ganyu and Hu tao exchanged looks before Ganyu nodded her head proudly. 

“Looks great,” She smiled, “It kind of looks like your bedroom at home.” 

“I thought it would look like a hurricane,” Xiao smirked, earning a playful hit on the upside of his head by his older sister. You heard her mutter an insult under her breath. 

“I think it's quite lovely, Bug,” Zhongli says softly. His hands are twisted behind his back and he won’t make eye contact with you. 

You run your hand under the waterfall lights on the wall, hundreds of photos of your family and friends clipped to the strings. Looking around, you realized you dorm was decorated like your bedroom. You had brought the same comforter and pillows from home and even set up your desk exactly the same. Maybe you weren’t so ready to let go of your childhood, either. 

Zhongli was about to open his mouth when your roommate and their parents walked into the dorm. There was a short exchange of greetings before your siblings filed into the hallway. You knew this was goodbye. 

“You can call me anytime. You know that, right?” Zhongli started, toying with your lampshade. “And if you ever feel homesick and need to-”

“I’ll be okay, dad,” You smiled softly. You embraced your father tightly and he did the same to you. After what felt like hours, but was probably not even a minute, Zhongli pulled away. He gazed you adoringly before kissing your forehead and leaving the dorm. 

Ganyu, who had taken a day off from work to be there, held out of her hand to her father. “Weird, isn’t it?” She asked comfortingly. 

“They’re all grown-up,” He mumbled, “All of my babies are grown up.” 

“Oh, dad,” Hu Tao said. She threw herself at Zhongli, catching him off guard.  “We’ll always be your babies.” 

Zhongli mustered a smile on her lips. He ruffled Hu Tao’s hair. “Yeah,” He agreed, “Let’s go eat.”

[bibbawrites]

Beach Baby - Single Dad!Charlie x Owen

THIS IS PART 4 OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES YOU CAN READ PART 1 HERE , THE PREQUEL (PART 2) HERE AND PART 3 HERE 

Request: none

Word Count: 3907 words 😳

Summary: Part 4 of Single Dad!Charlie, Margaux and Charlie reunite with Owen in Hawaii after months apart due to lockdown, just in time for Margaux’s fourth birthday 

Warnings: technically underage drinking, i guess technically i have to warn that this is implied mutual crushing between owen and charlie, if you dont feel comfortable with romantic chowen do not read 

A/N: i couldn’t get this out of my head so i had to write it, and boy did i write it this is the longest non-chaptered fic ive ever written and honestly i could have made it longer but i didnt want it to drag on any more that it already did this is literally more than double the length of my normal fics, i got very carried away

also just a note that i’m not trying to be rude about the fans who met the boys at the airport and i’m sure in real life the boys were happy to stop and chat, but from a parents perspective charlie’s first instinct would be to protect his daughter so i just thought i’d add that. please don’t get upset for that part!

sorry for any mistakes, its 4am and im half asleep trying to read through this to post lol anyways, hope you enjoy! 

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ @littlemissaddict​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​ @headheartbellarke​ @lovesanimals​ @bartok-the-magnificent​ @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 @katrina765​ @fandomxreaders​​ @ifilwtmfc

“Papa!” Margaux screamed, racing across the airport to Owen, the blond boy scooping up the nearly four year old and spinning her around when she reached him. 

“Maggie! I’ve missed you so much.” Owen exclaimed, pulling his mask down to pepper her cheeks with kisses, causing Margaux to giggle loudly. “Where’s your Daddy?” 

“Right behind you.” Owen spun around to find Charlie standing there, clearly smiling at him despite the bandana that covered his mouth, and Owen’s heart skipped a beat at how good Charlie looked in the early morning sun streaming through the airport windows. 

Meanwhile Charlie was thinking the exact same thing, admiring how attractive Owen was, especially when he was in his dad mode. He really understood why girls had such a weakness for cute boys with cute kids when he saw Owen with Margaux. 

Charlie stepped forward, pulling Owen into a tight hug and Margaux whined in complaint at being squished between her dad and her self declared papa. They pulled away from each other, both boys fighting to hide their slightly flushed cheeks. 

“I’m hungry.” Margaux whined, and Charlie was snapped out of his heart eyes daze, his whole focus back on his daughter. 

“Let’s get some food into you before our plane leaves then eh.” He replied, and Margaux nodded happily. 

Feeling bold Owen grabbed onto Charlie’s hand, lacing their fingers together. It wasn’t unusual for them to do this but it was the first time doing it when they were well known enough that someone might recognise them. But neither of them really cared. They were just happy to be back together again. 

- 

The minute they arrived in Hawaii they were met with fans. As much as he loved meeting the fans Charlie couldn’t help but sigh slightly as he tried to protect Margaux as much as he could.

It wasn’t that the fans didn’t know about Margaux, because it was a well known fact that he was a single dad, it was more that he wanted to keep her away from the spotlight. She hadn’t asked for her dad to become a well known actor, and she didn’t deserve to have her life changed because of it. He was determined to give her the most normal life possible. 

Eventually they made it to the villa house that they were staying in while in Hawaii, and after throwing their bags into their rooms it was time to have a bit of fun. 

“Swim time swim time!” Margaux sung, running laps around the living room. Kenny chuckled at the small girl, looking up at Charlie who was following closely behind her. 

“It seems like only yesterday she was a tiny two year old who cried every time you left her side.” He said, and Charlie smiled fondly, sitting down on the chair next to Kenny. 

“She’s growing up too fast.” He agreed. “I can’t believe in less than 24 hours time I’ll be a dad to a four year old.” 

Margaux tripped on the tiles, landing with a clatter, her bottom lip jutting out. Charlie jumped up, but before he could even think about moving across the room Owen was by Margaux’s side, helping her up and pulling her into a tight hug. He whispered something in her ear and Margaux giggled loudly, her fall already forgotten.

Charlie smiled softly at the scene, his heart filled with love for both the blond boy and his little princess. 

“Daddy.” Margaux called, snapping Charlie out of his daze. 

“Yeah baby?” He answered, finally making his way across the room. 

“Can we swim now?” She asked, grabbing onto his leg. Charlie subconsciously ran his hand through her soft curls.  

“Of course we can.” He replied. Margaux glanced up at Owen. 

“Papa too?” She questioned. 

“Papa too.” Charlie agreed. Margaux peered past him, her gaze landing on Kenny.

“Coming Uncle Kenny?” She asked, and Kenny laughed, standing up. 

“Coming Little Gillespie.” He replied. 

Margaux smiled contently, taking both Charlie and Owen’s hands to pull them outside towards the pool. 

She really did have every single one of them wrapped around her little finger. 

- 

Dinner that night was special, as it was supposed to be Carolynn’s last day on the island. They decided on a joint party for her last night, as well as celebrating Margaux’s birthday a day early. 

They had headed to a tiny restaurant near their villa, and Charlie had allowed Margaux to pick whatever she wanted from the menu, not that it mattered because she chose chicken nuggets and chips anyways.

The meal was nice, and before they knew it they were arriving back at the villa. Jeremy, Carolynn and Kenny all excused themselves for bed, and Tori settled into the couch, flicking the TV on. 

“Bath and bed time baby.” Charlie told Margaux, and she pouted but obeyed, following him into the hallway. 

“Hey Char, can I ask you something?” Owen asked, trailing behind the father daughter duo, and Charlie stopped, letting Margaux run ahead to their room. 

“Anything.” He smiled. 

“Do you mind if I share your room? I know the other bed was meant to be for Margaux but-” Owen started, playing with his fingers slightly. 

“She can share with me.” Charlie cut him off. “Bed’s all yours.” Owen looked up, his eyes widening. 

“Really?” He checked. 

“Of course.” Charlie smiled. Owen grinned, throwing his arms around Charlie’s neck. 

“Thanks Char. I just didn’t really want to sleep alone.” He admitted, and Charlie squeezed him tight. 

“Any time.” He told Owen, and the blond boy pulled away with a smile, before heading off to the room he was originally going to stay in to collect his bags. 

Charlie entered the room that he and Margaux, and now Owen, were sharing, finding his daughter already snuggled into one of the beds, still wearing her dinner clothes. Charlie sighed, moving to pull her out of the bed. Owen entered the room, bags in tow, and Margaux looked up at him excitedly. 

“Papa! Are you sleeping here?” She questioned. Owen placed his bags in the corner before answering. 

“I am Miss Maggie.” He said, and Margaux cheered. 

“You don’t mind sleeping with Daddy?” Charlie checked, and Margaux shook her head, jumping up to throw her arms around Charlie’s neck. 

“Nope! More cuddles!” She stated. Charlie laughed, picking her up. 

“Exactly right. Now, it’s bath time.” He said, grabbing Margaux’s pyjamas as she clung to him. 

“Bye Papa!” Margaux called as Charlie moved to leave the room. Owen waved. 

“Bye Maggie!” He replied, matching her enthusiasm. Charlie couldn’t help but smile. 

Margaux was so lucky to have someone like Owen in her life. They both were. 

- 

“Daddy! Wake up!” Margaux screamed, jumping on top of Charlie. He groaned, squinting as he looked up at his daughter. 

“What time is it?” He mumbled. Owen sat up in his own bed, grabbing his phone to check the time. 

“4:47am.” He informed Charlie, his voice thick with sleep. Charlie tried to ignore how sexy Owen’s morning voice was, instead focusing on his daughter. 

“Mags it’s too early to be awake.” He told her. Margaux pouted, flopping down on top of him. 

“Daddy, it’s my birthday!” She exclaimed. Charlie smiled, kissing her cheek. 

“I know baby, happy birthday. Now can we sleep for a little bit?” He tried. Margaux thought for a moment. 

“Only if Papa comes here too.” She decided. 

Charlie’s eyes widened slightly, eyes fixed on Owen as the younger boy sleepily slid out of his bed with no hesitation, and into Charlie’s, snuggling into Charlie’s side the minute he laid down. Margaux squirmed her way under the covers, squishing herself in between the two of them. 

Charlie shut his eyes in an attempt to get back to sleep, but it was no use. He opened his eyes again, staring up at the ceiling, as Margaux slept soundly next to him.

His mind was racing, noticing every single little place where Owen’s warm skin was in contact with his. It felt like he was on fire.

“Stop thinking.” Owen mumbled, and Charlie turned his head to see Owen staring at him, his eyes half shut with sleep.

“How did you know?” He questioned. Owen gave him a small smile. 

“I always know. Whatever it is, just ignore it for now. Get some sleep, it’s gonna be a big day.” Owen whispered. Charlie paused for a moment, just staring at Owen in the dim light from Margaux’s nightlight. Even half asleep in the almost complete darkness of the room Owen still looked gorgeous. Charlie swallowed. 

“You’re right. Thanks O.” He replied. 

“Love you.” Owen yawned in response, his eyes shutting again. Charlie smiled softly, moving his hand to brush a bit of Owen’s hair off his face.

“I love you too Owen.” He replied, despite the fact that the younger boy was already asleep. He pressed a soft kiss to Owen’s head, and lowered his voice to no more than a whisper.

“More than I probably should.”

- 

After what felt like no time at all Charlie was being shaken awake again. 

“Daddy is it time to get up now?” Margaux questioned, sitting on his chest. Charlie yawned. 

He reached over and checked his phone. It was just after 6:30am. 

“Okay we can get up. But we’re gonna leave Papa to sleep a little bit more, okay?” Charlie compromised. Margaux thought for a moment before agreeing. Charlie grinned, sliding the both of them out of the bed careful not to wake Owen. Once they were out of the bed Charlie lifted Margaux up, placing her on his hip. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple.  

“Now. Let’s go make some birthday pancakes.” 

- 

“Happy birthday Little Gillespie.” Jeremy sung, entering the kitchen with Carolynn close behind him.

Margaux grinned, her mouth full of pancake. 

“Thank you!” She exclaimed, her words muffled by her food. Carolynn stepped past Jeremy, moving to place a gentle kiss on Margaux’s head and whisper to her. Margaux grinned before looking up at her father.

“Hey Daddy?” She spoke. Charlie made a noise in response.

“Yeah?” He said, flipping pancakes onto a plate for both Jeremy and Carolynn.

“Do you think the birthday fairy could found me here?” Margaux questioned, her eyes full of hope. Charlie couldn’t help but smile, not even bothering to correct her words, as he placed the pan down.

“Should we go find out?” He asked. Margaux’s eyes widened in excitement.

“Yeah! But first we have to get Papa.” She decided. Charlie nodded.

“You wanna go wake him up? Tell him we made him some pancakes?” He asked, and Margaux grinned, already sliding out of her chair.

“Okay Daddy!” She replied, before rushing out of the room. The room fell silent for a few moments before Carolynn cleared her throat.

“So Charlie...” She raised an eyebrow. “How long have you been in love with Owen?” 

Charlie choked on his coffee. 

“I’m sorry, what?” He spluttered. Carolynn grinned. 

“You heard me.” She said. Charlie hesitated. 

“I’m not-” He stopped. “I-” 

He groaned. There was no use denying it if clearly he was obvious enough that his friends had figured him out.

“Since filming.” He admitted. Carolynn cheered. 

“You owe me $20.” She told her husband, who glared at Charlie. 

“You just had to admit it, huh?” Jeremy shook his head, and Charlie shrugged, a small smile on his face.

“Admit what?” Owen’s voice came from behind them, deep from sleep, and Charlie took a sip of his coffee to try to distract himself. Owen always looked good but in the early morning light, his hair still a mess from sleeping, he looked ethereal. Charlie bit his lip to stop himself from staring.

“Nothing important.” Carolynn replied, and Charlie shot her a thankful look. 

“Can we see if the birthday fairy visited now?” Margaux sighed, clearly impatient. They all laughed. 

“Of course baby.” Charlie told her, standing up. He grabbed the plate of pancakes he had made for Owen, handing them to the younger boy as he passed him. 

Margaux lead the way to the living area where Kenny and Tori were already sat waiting, squealing with excitement when she saw the small pile of presents on the table.

“They came!” She exclaimed, and Charlie couldn’t help but smile, ruffling her hair affectionately.

Margaux settled down on the couch as everyone spread out around the room, and one by one she opened the presents, eyes widening with excitement at every single one. 

Charlie had gotten her a few dolls that he knew she had been wanting, plus some new clothes, books and other toys. 

Jeremy and Carolynn had gotten her a small paint set with a Frozen paint by numbers. 

Kenny had gotten her a tiny version of the Sunset Curve shirt that the cast had all received. 

Tori had gotten her a little lilac tutu. 

Madi, Jadah and Savannah had sent their presents, some handmade earrings, little stud versions of the ghost drawings that Carolynn had created from Madi, a small pair of overalls from Savannah, and a colouring book from Jadah.

But her absolute favourite gift had come from Owen, a tan coloured bear from Build-A-Bear that he had dressed like Luke, and the clothes to change the bear into Reggie, Alex and Julie if she wanted to. 

After hugs all round the group decided to go their own ways, with Kenny heading off to spend the day relaxing, and Tori, Jeremy and Carolynn going to the beach to sunbathe since Carolynn’s flight had been delayed. 

“Where do you want to go today birthday girl?” Charlie asked, as he and Owen collected the pile of gifts to move them back to their room.

Margaux frowned in thought, the bear still grasped in her arms.

“Hiking.” She decided, and Charlie laughed. She was definitely his daughter.

“You sure? We can do whatever you want to do.” He checked. Margaux nodded, her attention focused on her new clothes that Charlie had placed on the bed to fold later. 

“I’m sure.” She said, reaching for the Sunset Curve shirt and overalls. “Can I wear this?”

“Of course you can.” Charlie agreed. 

“I’m gonna have a quick shower.” Owen said, grabbing some clothes out of his bag. Charlie nodded, focused on helping Margaux change out of her pyjamas into her new clothes.

“Do you think we can have some time tonight just you and me?” Charlie asked once Margaux was dressed, moving to grab her hairbrush and some hair ties.

“Yes please Daddy.” Margaux agreed, sitting on the edge of the bed as Charlie sat behind her.

“We could go get dinner just the two of us, and then come back here for birthday cake.” He suggested. Margaux frowned, clearly thinking. 

“Is it chocolate cake?” She asked after a moment, and Charlie paused from brushing her hair to kiss the top of her head. 

“You’ll have to wait and see.” He teased. Charlie finished tying her hair up into two little space buns, not quite proper buns but as close as he could get with her shortish hair.

“I hope it’s chocolate cake. I love chocolate cake.” She giggled, standing up on the bed and turning around to hug her father. Charlie wrapped his arms around her, a gesture that was so safe and familiar. 

“Me too baby, me too.” He agreed. Margaux snuggled her head into his shoulder. 

“Is Papa coming hiking?” She questioned. Charlie grinned to himself. 

“Do you want him to come?” He asked. Margaux didn’t even hesitate. 

“Yes.”

“Then I’m sure he’d love to come.” Charlie assured her. She pulled away. looking him in the eyes. Charlie had always loved that she had gotten his eyes. 

“Do I ask him?” She said, eyes wide. Charlie struggled to contain a laugh at how serious she looked. 

“When he comes back, yeah.” He nodded. 

“When who comes back?” Owen asked, re-entering the room. Margaux jumped up, throwing herself at the 20 year old. He lifted her up with no hesitation. 

“Are you gonna come hiking?” Margaux asked, her bottom lip jutting out in a pleading way. 

“Of course I am. Wouldn’t want to miss spending time with my two favourite people.” Owen grinned, kissing her nose causing her to giggle. Charlie’s heart skipped a beat at the declaration that he was one of Owen’s favourite people. 

“Yay! Can we go now?” Margaux turned in Owen’s arms to face her father. He nodded, standing up from the bed. 

“Shoes, and then we can go.” He said, and Margaux squirmed her way out of Owen’s arms to go find her running shoes. 

Charlie exchanged a look with Owen, the both of them thinking the same thing. 

It was going to be a long day. 

- 

Hiking with a just turned four year old was exhausting, even despite them choosing the easiest possible trail so that she wouldn’t have any issues.

It was fine at first, Margaux excitedly looking at the plants and trying to spot any animals in the trees, but after about twenty minutes she got bored and tired, and Charlie and Owen spent the rest of the hike passing her back and forth between the two of them.

Finally they made it back to the villa, and after a quick stop for lunch Margaux was recharged and ready for the rest of the day.

“Can we swim?” She asked. Charlie nodded.

“We’ll go and get changed, and then we can go in the pool for a while until we have to get ready for dinner, okay?” He suggested. 

“Okay Daddy.” Margaux smiled sweetly. 

-

After quickly changing into their swimmers, Charlie, Margaux and Owen ended up in the pool, Jeremy and Carolynn lounging nearby. 

They swam for a few hours until Margaux got thirsty, and with a promise of apple juice she and Charlie climbed out of the pool leaving Owen to go sit with the Shada’s. 

Charlie walked inside the villa, finding Kenny sat at the kitchen bench reading while Tori lounged on one of the couches, staring at her phone. 

“Why don’t we do cake now, so that you don’t have to worry about rushing home?” Kenny spoke up, as Charlie manoeuvred through the kitchen to get the apple juice out, Margaux clinging to his chest like a baby koala. 

“That’s a good idea. Do you want to do your birthday cake now Mags?” Charlie asked his daughter, pouring her some apple juice. She sipped on the juice, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

“Yeah!” She exclaimed. Charlie smiled. 

“Okay, can you go get Papa, Aunty Care and Uncle Jer for me?” He asked, placing her down. She nodded eagerly, handing her cup of juice to him before rushing outside to where Owen, Jeremy and Carolynn were still sat.

Charlie grabbed the cake out of the fridge and placed it on the bench, before putting the four candles in, and grabbing a lighter.

“Have you seen my camera Kenny?” He asked, and Kenny just pointed to the end of the bench where the camera was sitting. Charlie smiled gratefully, grabbing the camera.

“Want me to take photos?” Tori offered, and Charlie nodded, handing her the camera. 

Margaux re-entered the room, Owen and the Shada’s following close behind her, and when she reached her father he lifted her up. Kenny took the lighter, lighting the candles on the cake and together they sung Happy Birthday to Margaux, Tori snapping photos as the four year old blew out her candles. 

Charlie held Margaux close to him as Kenny divided the cake up, thankful that he had such an amazing family to spend his little girl’s birthday with. 

-

When Charlie and Margaux made it back to the villa after their dinner that night, the newly four year old was ready to fall asleep. Charlie carried her to bed, silently thanking his past self for deciding to give her a bath and do her birthday cake before they went to dinner because now all he had to do was change her into her pyjamas. 

He changed her quickly seeing that she was almost asleep, and tucked her into the bed. 

“Did you have a good birthday baby?” Charlie asked softly, settling down next to his daughter.

Margaux just nodded in response. 

“That’s good.” Charlie ran a hand through her curls. “Goodnight baby girl.” 

“Big girl.” Margaux mumbled sleepily. Charlie smiled, leaning down and kissing her head. 

“You might be a big girl now but you’ll always be my baby girl.” He whispered. “I love you.” 

“I love you too Daddy.” Margaux replied, her eyes already shut and her arms wrapped tightly around her new bear. Charlie stood up slowly and headed to the door, leaving it open a crack for a little bit of light to shine in. 

He paused for a moment, just taking in the reality that Margaux was already four years old, and that she was growing up too fast. With one last look at the door he made his way down the hallway and outside to where he knew Owen was waiting. 

“She’s asleep.” He announced, flopping down on the outdoor sofa next to Owen. 

“I’m not shocked, she’s had a big day.” Owen replied, handing Charlie a cold beer that he had clearly gotten for him. Charlie took it thankfully, taking a large swig. 

“Can you believe that she’s four already? It feels like she was only just born and I was waking up to find out that her mother was gone and that it was only me and her. It was terrifying at the time, but looking back I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He rambled. Owen rested his head on Charlie’s shoulder and Charlie wrapped his arm around the younger boy, pulling him closer.

“You should be proud of yourself Char. You’ve done an amazing job.” Owen complimented, snuggling closer to Charlie as he took a mouthful of his beer.

“You think so?” Charlie questioned. Owen nodded against his shoulder.

“I know so.” He sat up. “Margaux is the most well behaved kid I’ve ever met, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her misbehave once in all the time I’ve known her. She’s an amazing kid and it’s all because she has the most amazing father.”

“Thank you.” Charlie whispered, suddenly realising how close Owen was to him. He could feel Owen’s warm breath on his lips, and he found himself leaning in, the urge to kiss Owen overtaking his entire being. His lips brushed against Owen’s ever so slightly, but before they could properly commit to the kiss they were interrupted. 

“Hey, we’re gonna play...” Tori’s voice came and they jumped apart quickly. She trailed off, eyeing them carefully. “Were you two about to kiss?”

Charlie cleared his throat. Owen’s eyes widened.

“Uh... no?” Owen lied. Tori shot them a suspicious look but clearly decided against pushing.

“Right... well we’re gonna play Cards Against Humanity if you want to join us.” She told them, before turning and heading back inside. Neither Charlie nor Owen moved, the silence was deafening. Finally Owen spoke.

“Sorry.” He muttered quickly, before standing up and rushing inside. Charlie groaned, watching him leave, the feeling of Owen’s lips still lingering on his own.

“Fuck.” He sighed, downing the last of his beer before standing up to join the rest of the group inside.

He would have to deal with the Owen situation later.

[daeguzen]

jaemin was such a douchebag in winter's ornament of death 😭😭😭 was it really all for show when he started treating her nicely since the sketchbook incident to the cottage trip? 😔 didnt he feel a bit of love in between these moments? did he not want to find out why the princess sketched him? 😢

thank you for giving us a happy ending! (the title of the story originally scared me for a bit! haha, but it's a very special title though!!) did u have an alternative ending in mind for this story? has it always been a happy ending in your mind?

Hihi! Ah yes, Jaemin was very mean. I think personally, I didn't flesh out that section of the story very well in terms of characterization.

But in all honesty in accordance to how I wanted to write it, Jaemin was in love with the Princess the entire time. He never stopped loving her but he was angry with himself for still loving her and felt betrayed by her when she acted so cold. I don't touch upon what she says but as Jaemin puts, the Princess basically pushed him away and said she didn't want to be friends with him anymore.

That to him was like ripping his heart out. So he grew very bitter towards her and stopped trusting easily. As for the sketch, he did wonder why she drew him if she had initially said she didn't like his presence. So he thought to use that against her to figure out what her reactions would be if he started acted differently.

Even in that scenario, Jaemin was very contradicting with himself because he loved being with her but he also wanted to hurt her the way she hurt him. That's how it eventually came to Jaemin found the sketch, he devised a plan in his mind to figure out how the Princess would react, he was surprised that she reciprocated, but when they came home he decided to give her a little 'taste' of her own medicine. Because at the end of the day, Jaemin just finds it extremely hard to forgive her for rejecting him so harshly and making him believe he wasn't good enough for even her friendship.

That's where everything falls apart and Jaemin realizes that he took things tok far and that he was being not only a vengeful person but very childish for not letting things go and instead wanting to break her down. Because the Princess is someone who is kind and sweet but she's also very stoic when faced with a problem or insults that Jaemin would throw. It bother Jaemin because it seems like she just doesn't care when all he does is care about everything she does. She has that much power over him and his feelings which is why we find Jaemin contradicting his actions all the time. Basically the whole "I hate myself for still loving you" kinda theme.

As for the ending, it was actually in my inbox for over a year (so sorry to the person who requested it cuz I took a long time to write it) and if I remember correctly, they wanted a happy ending. Or they mightve not minded a sad one. I always have a thing for like....going through something rough or painful and then having a happy ending where both characters finally reach that level of communication. I don't know what that says about me but I like angsty stuff but with a sparkle of happiness somewhere.

However, there will be occasions where it's just pure angst like the Heaven Knows I'm Miserable and Remember When I Told You I Loved You (both Renjun fics, he's a sweetheart and I do this to him ah im so sorry Renjunnie)

But the thing I like about doing writings in this blog is that I can go back and add more or rewrite my stories. Eventually I want to fix that part in Winters Ornament of Death because I know I didn't communicate that scene very well.

Thank you for taking the time to read it though and for your questions, I love answering stuff like this cuz it's like the behind the scenes of the story. I hope you're well! 🥰💚

[sunaswife]

A Suna Rintarou Series

Summary: Suna was the best boyfriend you could ask for, after fighting with your inner demons that screamed you were ugly, worthless, and annoying. You finally decided to go the next step with your boyfriend, only to find out it was all a game.

A/N: Part 7!! I just want to let y’all know that everytime I update I post two small chapters in one. Usually one being Y/N’s side and the other being Suna’s side. Sometimes I’ll add atsumu like my last update but idk. Just be sure to read every chapter because they may seem small but they’re lowkey kind of important as I don’t want you missing out. One post has like 76 likes and the one after it has 150 so I just wanna make sure that you know I post twice in one day! I don’t do this to get noticed or because I want more likes but I want you to read all of my shitty work rather than some of it ya know...? Anyways! On to the story!

Warnings: underaged drinking, smut, guys talking badly about women, heartbreak, messed up shit that you shouldn’t do and a bit of fluff if you squint

Disc four-slide one: Kageyama Y/N🤍

“My my, do my eyes deceive me? The volleyball club finally has a manager~”

This girl out of nowhere stood in front of you, you both were around the same height. She was wearing an Inarizaki cheerleader uniform and she was too close to comfort. You took a step back confused as to why she was inspecting you like a detective at a crime scene.

“Can I help you...?” You asked and fixed the strap of the first aid kit over your shoulder. “I heard Inarizaki’s number ten finally has a girfriend and I thought it was too good to be true. He told me he wasn’t interested in being in a relationship so i thought he was gay at first until he showed me just how straight he was at a party a few months back.” She said with a menacing chuckle.

Show how straight he is..?

Oh

You knew exactly what she was trying to do and for some reason that sweet and humble persona you usually had completely shattered when you opened your mouth. “I’m pretty shocked he even asked me out on a date. I wasn’t expecting him to go out of his way to make my favorite food and have a picnic in the woods.” You replied with a shrug. Her eye twitched and you knew you struck a nerve.

“If only you knew—“

“Look I don’t want animosity alright? Whatever you and Suna had is in the past. You can try to piss me off and make me jealous all you want but at the end of the day he comes back to me.” You said simply and shrugged, you didn’t want to hear whatever else she was going to say. For your sanity and for her fake eyelashes to stay glued on her face.

“Why you little—“ “Y/N-Chan! Jamie!” Atsumu saw you both from down the hall. “How are my two lovely ladies.” He jogged over and smiled. You and Jamie glared at eachother and you both turned and walked away leaving the blonde twin standing there confused.

After joining the rest of the team you sighed and rubbed the back of your neck. Even though this Jamie chick was uttering stupid shit it still struck a nerve. What kind of relationship did she and Suna have before you came in the picture? Obviously it was sexual...but did he smile and keep her warm like how he does for you.

Did he text her at 3 am because he was bored and wanted someone to play Minecraft with him? Did he cuddle with her and take naps under the baby blue sky and laugh at the funny shaped clouds?

“Princess...is something wrong..?” Suna asked and all of a sudden appeared in front of you. You fiddled with the zipper of your volleyball track jacket and didn’t look up. “Babe, what’s wrong? Look at me.” He said and you saw his hand near you. He lifted your chin to face him and you almost melted when you finally made eye contact. His grayish-yellow fox like eyes put you in a trance and you couldn’t look away.

“Is something the matter?” He asked and tilted his head. You sighed and your cheeks puffed, he could help but mentally gush at how cute you looked when frustrated. But it seemed like you weren’t frustrated with anyone but yourself.

“So I met, Jamie.” You started and his eyes widened.

Bingo

Something did happened between them...

You hugged yourself and looked away, this was a habit when you were nervous or self conscious. “She’s really pretty....and skinny and her makeup is flawless and—“

“She told you we had sex right?” He said straight up and your eyes widened at his vulgar way of saying it.

You nodded and said “I know it’s in the past but she shouldn’t have rubbed it in or whatever. And I don’t know....it just bothers me a bit. I don’t know how to react...this is my first relationship after all.” You rubbed your arms. He put his hands on your shoulders to make sure you were focusing on him, even though you refused to look back at him.

“I’ll be honest with you, nothing special was or is going on between us. I just made a stupid decision of sleeping with her once and she never lets it go. I don’t see her that way and eventually she’ll move on because she does that with every athlete that catches her eye.” He assured but you were still pretty bothered. She just gives you bad vibes. “I’m just insecure I guess.” You admitted sadly.

Jamie is gorgeous, she’s the definition of a goddess, at least appearance wise. Her beautiful olive skin and blue eyes, her bleached blonde hair suits her well and her makeup looks better than James Charles. When does she find the time to do it? “You shouldn’t feel insecure. she’s alright I guess, but you’re beautiful. You’re you, and that’s what I like about you.” He said softly.

You looked back up and into his eyes to see if he was lying but his breath hitched when he saw your eyes get watery. “All I ask is for you to not break my heart. Can you do that?” Your voice cracked slightly and he nodded.

“I promise.”

Previously

Up next

Series masterlist

A/N: Hey hey hey! IM BACK! Sorry it took me awhile! I needed to relax and take a breather 🥺

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

[tangledstarlight]

broken promises and lost dreams (sometimes it’s just all meant to be)princess julieta has known all her life that she would one day have to marry, she’d just always believed in the promise her parents made her that it would be her choice. when she is told a marriage to the prince of stornoway has been arranged for her julieta realises a prison of fine silks and pretty words is still a prison. so, on impulse, she runs away. it’s a long way to willowmarrae, but with new friends and unexplored freedom julieta feels ready for just about anything.

[ it’s a runaway royalty au that no one asked for but im having a blast writing anyway ]

sorry abuot this being like 2 months late and 7k long. thats my bad. but it’s also ff!luke’s fault this chapter is very much just full of bad sword fights, bobby being a complete dickhead and mentions of blood. but the cat finally gets an official name so i think it’s a win-win. anyway, pls enjoy!! 

( chapter one | two | three | four | five | six | seven )

once upon a time there was a girl who faced down her villain with fear in her heart, who froze when she needed to move, who loved her friends enough to give up her freedom.

When she was little Julie had dreamt of going on an adventure like she had read about in one of her books. Of seeing new places and trying new foods and making new friends and fighting foes and saving trapped damsels and falling in love. She had spent hours when she was younger, creating grand adventures and acting them out while her mother laughed and composed a soundtrack just for her.

Then she had gotten older and resigned herself to an ordinary life with predictable days, where her only true freedom would come in the hours spent creating music. Then her mother had died and music lost it’s magic and her father had broken his promise and Julie had run away. Had embarked on an adventure she was not prepared for.

But she liked to think it had been going okay.

Sure the journey was taking a little longer than any of them had expected, and none of them really knew how to cook, but she had made new friends and was seeing new places and trying new things. And she felt free and light and the music she had once composed with her mother was always playing lightly in her mind.

And then there was Luke.

Julie didn’t know if it was love. That seemed like too big of a word for someone she had only known for a handful of weeks, and who she’d practically hated at first. But he was sweet and funny and took the time to apologise when he was wrong and always offered her his extra blanket on the nights that were cold and listened when she talked. And he smiled at her like she was something magical. Like she was important and special. She didn’t know if it was love or like or infatuation, she was excited to find out though. To get to know him more. To maybe see what would happen when they reached Marrae.

It was exactly the kind of adventure she’d always dreamt of. Far off places and new faces and intoxicating emotions.

Which was probably why she should have expected something to go wrong. Because that’s what always happened in the books. The heroes were having a good time until…

So she supposes she should have been better prepared for her ‘until’ moment.

continue on ao3...

[orionwhispers]

Swan Song// Thomas Shelby 🍸

(A.N )- holy shit. holy shit. you guys... its finally finished. it took months but its finally done!!here is the long awaited and highly requested lolita wedding. im so happy you guys finally get to read it! i feel like my baby has all grown up lol. there might be errors and stuff bc its 16k words and im exhausted but hopefully you enjoy it. thanks for being so wonderful and patient. ily) also sorry for all the pics in the moodboard being white i try and be inclusive but smh pinterest sucks sometimes, anyone is welcome here. we are all hoes for tommy)

Trigger Warnings; so much fucking fluff, implied smut, some angst and mention of past injury.

PART 1  PART 2

It was one of those dreamy midsummer nights.

When even the sun didn’t want to retire for the evening; the sky a rich, milky blue, and the air still thick and warm like honey. You were on the window seat, clad in one of Ada’s many wedding presents, a blush silk slip and matching robe, a gift she had brought back from her week in Boston.

You were happy. Irrevocably so. The floor and love seat crowded with the people you held closest to your heart, the room smelt of expensive vanilla candles and strawberry wine, and the deep throaty rumble of laughter filled every empty space.

It was perfect. Well - almost.

You missed him.

It was only one night apart, you had spent longer times separated when he went out of town for business or you had a rambunctious girls weekend with Ada and Esme - but still you missed him entirely.

You knew he missed you too. That much was obvious from the disdain on his face when Arthur and Polly laid bare their plans for the night before your wedding. There hadn’t been time for an engagement party let alone a bachelor party - a few weeks after announcing the news Tommy had been due to attend to some business in New York, and he was adamant that you were to come along. He wanted to treat you, show you the vibrant city and all of the glitz and glamour of Broadway, but you knew that was only part of the reason. He didn’t like you out of his sight for too long, the wound on your chest might have been puckering into a scar but the pain was still fresh in his mind and his overprotectiveness had tripled.

After a brilliant few weeks away in the big apple, filled with passionate, breathless kisses and red satin dresses and driving hand in hand down the Brooklyn bridge, you finally returned home - but much like the city you had just left, Thomas Shelby had no time for sleeping. He was knee deep in new deals and navigating his partnership with Alfie Solomon’s, as well as his new venture of manufacturing gin. Despite the long nights and the early mornings, you never felt neglected. You loved him, all of him, and that included his workhorse nature and tenacity. And besides, he struggled being away from you, finding himself noticing the lack of warmth in his office, when at home you would be perched on his lap, pressing dizzying kisses to the base of his neck. He missed the sound of your laugh and the way that you giggled, biting your lip innocently, making him want to bite it even harder.

He loved you, and that god awful summer had shown him that all he truly cared about was having you by his side. So for every night he was at the office, or every morning he was out of bed before you woke up, he made it up to you with a weekend away, or a signed first edition of your favourite book, or a piece of jewellery he had made for you. They might have been material things, but the meaning couldn’t be clearer, he was hopelessly, dangerously, completely, in love with you.

His main present to you though, arrived a few days after his sudden proposal in his office.

He originally wanted to take you into London, show you the finest jewellers by the water and let you choose anything that caught your eye - only the best for his best girl - but, after everything, his plans had changed.

Truthfully, marriage had been on the tip of his tongue since that very first day he locked eyes with you in the Garrison. He knew he had to have you, even before he knew your name, and by the time the two of you first kissed, tasting like sweet strawberries and cigarettes, he knew you would be the woman to take his.

But things got in the way. Marriage wasn’t as simple as it might have been for the people you passed in the streets. Marriage to him was like putting a target on your back, it meant your entire life being intertwined with his, the whole world knowing that you were the woman that made him fall to his knees. It would take everything from you, and the darkness would slowly start to seep into the light that surrounded you, and he needed to keep you safe for as long as he could. He knew he was going to marry you, it was just as clear in his mind as it was that he was the leader of the Blinders, you were the missing piece in his puzzle.

But of course, his plans were blown to smithereens when the bullet shattered your collarbone that summers eve. His visions of red roses and rich wine and getting on one knee, feeling like a goddamn kid again when you gave him that smile as he pushed the ring onto your finger, were flung to the wind. And instead, his honeyed words were swapped with breathless desire and need, whispered in your hair as you were cradled in his arms, in the afterglow of such a dreadful day.

The one thing he knew he could get right, however, was the ring.

It had to be special. It had to be you. Something soft and sweet and gentle, but with an edge - sharp and strong and beautiful. Of course, it would be impossible to find any diamond or pearl that could compete with your beauty, but he wanted you to have the best.

That wasn’t the only reason though.

It had more to do with the jewel that had hung around your neck that day at the ball, the one that haunted him when the sky got dark and you were fast asleep beside him. He had come so close to losing you, only a hair away from the girl he loved being buried, and the thought was driving him mad. He controlled every aspect of his life, but this was something completely out of his grasp, and he needed to stop his dangerous thoughts.

He hadn’t been superstitious since he was a boy chasing his brothers through fields of wildflowers and listening to Polly’s ramblings by the fire, but he had to rule out every possibility. So a few days after he proposed, and with the best doctor in Birmingham giving you the all clear (and triple checking that the house was secured and being watched by practically a small army of Blinders - and a stern warning to Michael, Isaiah and Finn that if even a hair on top of your head was misplaced by the time he got back, none of them would be able to have any children)- he set off.

He told you he was signing a deal in Manchester, but he was really only a few miles away, at the campsite where he had spent the majority of his youth. It was all rolling hills of deep emerald and jade, and fog that curled and twisted around his ankles, and for the first time in a long time, he felt out of place. He had chosen the ring with the help of Polly, who was adamant she knew your taste better than him, something he vehemently denied.

It was beautiful and unique, just like you, and he never felt such a profound rush of love quite like when he pictured slotting it onto your finger. It was big, but not overly so - nothing tacky or too much, Tommy knowing that you never wanted anything glimmering or gaudy and that you’d probably hit him and then faint if you knew the price. But, in his eyes - nothing was too expensive for his little girl. Besides, he particularly liked the way the ring shone in the light, imagining all the men that would fuck off and leave with their tail between their legs when they saw it and realised that the most beautiful woman in the room was already spoken for.

The diamond was brilliant and a “Princess” cut, something that made him smirk because it was one of his favourite pet names for you, and he couldn’t imagine anything more fitting. The band was solid gold, two different paths that intertwined and curled like summer vines, making him think of the lightness and whimsy you carried around you. What really sold him though, were the soft, twinkling rose quartz gems that cocooned the diamond.

“For protection.” Polly had muttered as he twisted the ring between his fingers under the dim lighting in the store. He had rolled his eyes when she spoke but secretly the meaning behind them made his gut twist. Protection was something that he needed you to have in abundance, even if it came from small crystals the size of a half grain of rice.

The ring was so perfect. So rare and alluring and undeniably you, and he walked out the door with the feeling of pure content, something that only even happened when he thought of you. But he knew there was more for him to do. He sent Polly home, ignoring the raised eyebrows she gave him and brushed off the sixth sense his Aunt had always had. And with the ring safely nestled in its plush navy box in his breast pocket, he drove off.

The campsite felt like the past. It felt as though he was visiting somewhere deep in the confines of his mind, somewhere that he had locked and stored away and forgotten about, only now being able to see through the thick haze of smog. He met the elderly woman by the doors of her caravan, noticing the difference between his sharp suit and the furs and shawls she had covering her body. She smiled and invited him in, pouring him a cup of something that smelt like sap and crisp autumn apples.

“It’s been a long time, Thomas.” She said, eyes so dark they almost looked black as she watched him curiously.

“That it has.”

“What brings you to this part of the woods then? I thought you would have forgotten about the rest of us.”

It was a dig, but he refused to rise to it. He wasn’t in the mood for petty jibes.

“I’ve been busy.”

“So I hear.” She exhaled, stirring her tea meticulously with a golden spoon. “They tell me you’re practically running the country.”

He smiled softly and falsely, digging his hand deep into his pocket. “Let’s cut to the chase, eh?” He pulled out the small box, opening it in his palm, and twisting it round so that the clear cut diamond was twinkling right before her.

She grinned, leaning forward on her elbows to get a better look. “It’s beautiful. Must have cost a pretty penny.”

“The woman it’s for is worth it.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“I know why you’re here,Tom. The boys told me what happened at that party of yours.”

He cleared his throat, not liking the lack of control he had over the conversation.

“Right, well then. Just tell me what I need to know.”

She closed her eyes, muttering something under her breath, and Tommy sat back on his haunches, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. Was he really fucking doing this? Sitting in a caravan in the middle of fucking nowhere getting his jewellery cleansed by some batty old woman he knew as a child? It went against everything he believed in, and was the exact opposite of the calm and level headed way he ran his business.

But then he thought of you. And your light. Your sweetness and the sound of your laugh, the curve of your lips and the flowers you wore in your hair and the grass stains on your little white dresses. He thought of the scar that ran along your collarbone, and the feeling of white hot desperation that had coursed through him when he that you might not wake up.

You were worth it. Fuck sensibilities and rationality. He’d drive to the fucking ends of the earth if it meant that it would keep you even just a little bit safer.

After what felt like an age, the woman opened her eyes and raised her head. She used the edge of one of her many colourful scarves to wipe the surface of the gems, her hands moving in quick, rhythmic circles.

“It’s clean.” She said. “There’s nothing bad on it. At least, not that I can see.”

Tommy felt the anvil strapped to his chest suddenly fill and float like a balloon, but he didn’t let it show. Instead, he brushed off the relief flooding though his body, and straightened up. “Well I came to the best.”

She smiled, both smugly and bashfully, the way most women felt around Tommy. “That you did my love.”

His fingertips merely brushed the top of the roll of money he had stuffed in his pocket, and the elderly woman sat back, shaking her head at him.

“It’s on the house. Maybe you can bring your girl around one day, I know we’d all like to meet her.”

Not fucking likely he thought. No way in hell would he bring you to a place like this, whilst he still had good memory’s of his youth, he didn’t trust the people that still lurked in the fields around this place.

Wanting to settle the score, he held out a wad of notes. “I insist.”

“And I decline.”

He didn’t like the way the conversation had ended, it didn’t sit quite right with him. He liked to make his deals as open and closed as possible, money was the best way to seal a deal, he didn’t work with favours. “Right, well. Thank you for everything.”

He looked out of the windows of the caravan as he gathered his things. It was starting to get dark, the sky blushing like summer strawberries and freshly sliced peaches, the air still a little thick from the heat. All that he wanted now was to get home to you, everything else had faded to static in his ears. He bit back a grin as he thought of how you would smile, all teeth and round cheeks and wide eyes when he showed you the ring. He imagined it sitting pretty on your finger, the nudge of the jewel against his when you intertwined hands and the way it would dazzle at night, not nearly as beautiful as you as you laid beneath him, sweaty and breathless and ethereal.

As sudden as a gunshot, sharp words from behind him cut through his daydreams like a blade.

“Have you ever considered, Tom?”

He merely paused, not even bothering to spin on his heel and face her. He knew what she was going to say and yet it still felt like a knife digging into a fresh wound as she continued speaking.

“That maybe it’s not the jewels? Maybe it’s you?”

He wasn’t the type of man to back down from a fight, and he was the unrivalled champion of maintaining his composure and remaining calm under every type of pressure, but even he couldn’t deny the shivers that twisted around the bottom of his spine at the implication of her words.

“Yes. I have.”

He could feel her shifting behind him, ready to lure him in, tell him the thing that kept him up at night and clawed at his throat when he watched you sleep; that perhaps he was the poison that seemed to follow you like a dark cloud. He was much too selfish, far too infatuated with you to keep you at arms length. The deafening ache that perhaps you were the reason he finally felt alive, and that maybe he was the reason you would end up buried. 

He didn’t allow himself to think any more, tossing his cash towards her, not even bothering to check if she caught it or if it landed on the floor, instead he raised a hand and walked off, murmuring under his breath. “Keep the change.”

He waited until he was back in his car, with a cigarette between his lips and the sour smell of petrol and ash filling his lungs before he finally inhaled, glad to be out of the fucking fresh air.

—————————————————————

Your reaction was even better than he imagined.

It was dark by the time he eventually got home, and he didn’t miss the buzz of warmth that pulling into the driveway brought. It was bizarre, he had spent so long feeling nothing that meeting you had reignited everything inside of him, he felt like a boy again, nervous and elated to see the girl he loved.

The lights were on, reflecting through the windows like flickering candles, and a pleasant yellow glow engulfed the shadows in the gravel. He could hear voices, (mainly Arthur’s), deep low laughter and the sound of music all throughout the halls. He winced slightly, hoping that whatever ruckus his family had brought wasn’t keeping you from resting. He was certain that this impromptu gathering was his brothers idea of raising your spirits, but Tommy would have felt much more comfortable knowing that you were peaceful and recovering somewhere safe, knowing that you were far too polite to send his family away.

“What the fucks all this noise, eh?” He shouted as entered, his tone was sharp but even he couldn’t stop the tiny grin making its way onto his face as he watched Arthur and John drunkenly dance in the living room.

“Ay! You’re back? How did it go?” Arthur asked, holding out his arms in greeting as his speech slurred.

“Everything’s in order.”

“Hurrah!” Arthur swayed on unsteady legs like a sailor on the rough seas, and

“Bloody hell Arthur, what the fuck are you on?” John laughed,

“It’s a celebration, brother.”

Tommy pushed him aside playfully, tuning out the sound of their bickering as he strode further in the living room, eyes brushing past all of the faces crowded around, his heart stopping when he finally found the one he was after.

You were curled up on the sofa by the fireplace with your legs tucked underneath you, your face flushing deliciously, the spark slowly reigniting inside of you - and Tommy swore that he had never seen something so beautiful. Michael, Isaiah and Finn were crowded around you, looking much younger than their years, playing cards in their hands and big, toothy grins, occasionally accusing the other of cheating. Polly watched from beside the fireplace, something that had once been the beating heart of the house, a place where the two of you coexisted so magnificently. He thought of the flames from the logs and also from deep inside of him, devouring you completely on the hardwood floors, the sound of your moans mixing with the crackle and snap of the kindling. He hadn’t looked at the fireplace since you had been shot, it was too intimate, too personal, memories of early morning laughter and pure carnal hunger when the sun set, his fingertips pressing against the softness of your throat as you melted like paper under him.

Now though, it had been filled with empty wine bottles stuffed with candles, wax dripping and melting down their green glass necks, the room smelling like cherries and lavender. He knew you had put them there, and it made him exhale, because it no longer hurt to look at it, and he knew that eventually, the fireplace would be yours again.

Polly caught his eye from over the sofa, hers glittering and twinkling with suspicion of where her nephew had been, taking a long, poignant drag from her cigarette. He ignored her. He had no doubts that she was completely aware of what he had been doing, and that imagining him back at his roots was conjuring a particular mental image in her head, but right now that was the least of his concern.

He tore though the living room, almost colliding with a dozen bodies, it seemed Arthur had dug up every close acquaintance within twenty miles and invited them over. The room smelt like sour whisky and spilled wine, and he swore he could see his expensive furniture lowering in price by the minute.

He loved his family, he would do anything for them, but God he wished to the highest heavens that they would fuck off so he could spend some time with his girl. If it was up to him the house would be completely empty, nothing but the sound of your laugh and the thump of your heart, fuck everything else.

You were wrapped up in your poker game, head tilted back as you laughed at something Finn had whispered to you, the small creamy corner of your bandage poking out from the collar of your dress. Tommy swore inwardly, the sight making him falter. As quickly as the feeling came, he brushed it away, not wanting you to see him worry, not wanting himself to fall into old and dangerous habits.

Finn saw him first, his youngest brother looking impossibly boyish and playful as he laughed with his friends, a world away from the man he tried so hard to be. One look and he was on his feet, quickly swatting Isaiah and Michael and gathering the cards in his hands. Tommy patted his shoulder fondly, his eyes fixed firmly on you, watching your pupils dilate and sparkle when you finally caught sight of him.

“You’re back.”

Breathless. Angelic. Innocent. It took everything in him to not gather you in his arms and take you upstairs all for himself.

“And you should be in bed.”

He sat down next to you, his knee brushing against yours.

You smelt of home.

Of sweet cinnamon and strawberries and wildflowers, messy hair and woodsmoke. You finally smelt like yourself, not like the chemicals and disinfectants that now filled the halls, making him want to set his whole damn estate alight because the reminders of what they caused were too painful.

“I’ve been resting for weeks, Tommy. Let me have a little fun.”

You gave him that smile. The one that made his knees buckle. The one that would have made him sign his company over to you if you asked - not that there would ever be a time he would say no to you. It was bizarre, how you were sitting there with no makeup on, your hair tied back with a baby pink ribbon, and you were undoubtedly the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“Alright, alright, enough with the pouting.” He winked at you, making a kaleidoscope of butterflies erupt in your stomach. If it had just been the two of you he would have leant in and kissed you stupid, but he didn’t want to give his drunken brothers something else to whoop and tease about. He would save his romantics for later, when you were alone, and he could take his well earned time and leisure to ravage you.

He pulled you close to him, wrapping an arm around the edge of the sofa and over your shoulders, keeping you as close and protected as he possibly could, the simple action comforting him immensely. You snuggled into him, his body so warm and firm and safe, and he pressed a kiss to your neck as you relaxed, his lips scorching you like a brand. He felt his whole body exhale, feeling at ease because he was with the people he loved most in the world, with you tucked into his side like you were carved there, and the feel of your fingertips ghosting over his chest. His life was so fast paced and hectic and his mind was whirring a mile a minute, but at that moment, the there was no where else he would rather be.

His patience lasted exactly 47 minutes. His composure and lenience with his family finally snapped when Arthur bet John that he could do a better handstand than him, proceeded to leap onto his hands, flail about disastrously and then crash right into the console table, shattering an array of fine china and imported vases.

“Oh John, look what you did ya’ stupid cunt.” He said when he got to his feet, his hands slashed to ribbons and blood dripping onto the carpet. Esme rolled her eyes, grabbing her brother in law by the collar and dragging him out of the room to bandage him up before he inevitably passed out from all the alcohol.

Tommy straightened out next to you as Mary quickly rushed in and gathered the glimmering shards with a dustpan and brush. He heaved himself to his feet, reluctant to withdraw from your side, and he cleared his throat once before speaking. “Alright, that’s enough for tonight, everybody fuck off.”

You rolled your eyes at his terrible bedside manner, tugging on the edge of his rolled sleeve playfully, making a small smile cross the edge of his lips. Polly pressed a hand to your shoulder as she herded the boys out of the room, each of them mumbling drunken goodbyes and pressing whisky stained kisses to your cheeks, mindful of the placement of their hands and your scar, mainly because of Tommy’s sharp, warning glare.

Johnny Dogs grumbled something along the lines of parting, but instead passed out face down on the carpet, his body rising and falling with heavy snores. Tommy waited rather impatiently as you said goodbye to the remaining guests, wanting nothing more than some well earned solace with his girl.

When you were finally alone, the moon dancing across your skin through the large open windows, soft music filling the room and the smell of sticky split wine following you both, he pulled you into his arms. He looked at your face and smiled. You were ethereal. Golden and glowing in the twilight, eyes sparkling like diamonds. Your face had changed a little in the time you had been together, your body and mind maturing and adapting, but you still looked so young. A breath of clear, fresh air amongst all of the smoke.

He lifted his hand to wipe a few specks of shimmering rose rouge from your cheeks, evidently left from where Esme hugged you goodbye, but you got there first, playfully taking his finger in your mouth and gently sucking and biting at his fingertip.

He felt a fire ignite in his stomach and his trousers tighten. How were you - so small and sweet and innocent, able to control his body like you were a master puppeteer and he was nothing but wood and string? It was baffling to him, an enigma that he craved to solve but knew that he never could. He was completely and incurably love sick.

You were going to be the death of him.

He pulled you even closer, freeing himself from your grip and taking your head in his hands, smashing his lips onto yours. You melted into him, practically putty in his hands. His teeth clashed against yours, the kiss was messy and desperate, as though you were two kids determined to make the most of the time you had alone. He felt everything wash off of him, all of his stress and tension melting down his spine like candle wax. Because, with your body flush against his and his mouth pressed up against your own, he was home.

You pulled away shyly and reluctancy, and he felt the absence of your warmth immediately. He moved to drag you back, not done with you just yet, but he followed your gaze to the man on the floor. Johnny had somehow managed to roll over onto his back, still asleep and snoring, but with his eyes half open, his gaze focused on the two of you. Tommy let out a rare, genuine laugh, and it made you feel like somebody had lit a firework in your chest. He wrapped his fingers against your own and tugged softly, his voice deep and rumbling like the ocean.

“Let’s go upstairs, princess. I’ve got something to give to you.”

Your room was safe and it was warm. It smelt like ripe peaches and fresh mint and rolling tobacco, like leather and lace; innocence and sin. It had finally become yours again, interlocked like your fingers, intertwined like your hearts, something so precious and belonging to just the two of you. It had broken his already shattered heart when you were separated, and looking at you now through heavy eyelids as you sat on your knees in bed, waiting expectantly for him to reveal his present, he took a moment to thank whoever was listening for giving him a goddamn angel.

“You need to stop buying me things, Tommy.” You scolded gently, shifting on your legs.

“I’ll do whatever I bloody feel like.” He replied, undoing his cuff links and loosing his tie. He liked to always be properly dressed and sharp, but around you he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in your sweet comfort.

You watched him, so beautiful and angelic looking under the yellow lights. You smiled to yourself at his mussed hair and natural pink pout; the side to him that only ever flared up around you. You kept your eyes trained on him as he rummaged around the room, taking off his jacket and folding it over a chair before turning around and pointing a finger at you.

“Close your eyes.”

You huffed. “Is that really necessary?”

“Close ‘em.”

You looked up at him teasingly, exhaling loudly before closing your eyes. You felt him moving around the room, listening to the soft creaks of the wood and the sound of his footsteps as he approached the bed. He lifted your arm and you giggled as his fingertips ran down your skin, stopping at the middle of your wrist, pressing a kiss to your pulse point. You opened your mouth to speak but before you could he pushed something onto your ring finger. Even with your eyes closed you could feel his smile.

“Open.”

It took you a moment to register what you were seeing, the surprise knocking the air right out of your lungs. Your eyes flickered from him back down to your ring, your mouth agape. You hadn’t really thought about an engagement ring, flashy diamonds weren’t really up your alley and with everything that had happened tradition seemed to have flown out of the window, but you should have known Tommy would always be one step ahead. It was beautiful. So brilliant and classic and totally you, and you could feel tears pricking behind your eyes, your mouth going dry.

“Oh, Tom! Oh, Tommy it’s beautiful!” All of your restraint was gone, and you leapt onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist as he caught you effortlessly, like he always would. He let out a laugh, slightly stunned from your reaction, and the feeling of your lips pressing hot, quick kisses all across his skin. He held you tight, burying his nose in your hair and pulling you impossibly closer.

He felt your lips at the base of his ear, brushing against his flesh as you spoke. “This must have cost a fortune!”

He shook his head, not even needing words to convey his feelings. To him it was obvious. Nothing would ever be too much for you.

You admired it from over his shoulder, watching the hypnotising way that it glimmered in the light. He gently walked forward, leaning you down so that you were in contact with the bed, tilting up your face so that you were looking him in the eye.

“There’s something else.”

“Tommy - ”

He had already started unbuttoning his shirt, and you sat back and watched as his nimble fingers looped down his torso, finally grabbing something underneath and holding it towards you.

You inhaled sharply, feeling yourself floating.

He had your name engraved on a silver dog tag, much like the ones he had thrown into the cut with Freddie along with his medals of honour. This was what mattered to him, your name carved into the metal, dangling right next to his heart, because it was only you who owned it.

Your eyes met, filled with love and lust and true happiness. A week ago you had been lying in bed, terrified that Tommy might not be in love with you, but now it was clear that the two of you were bound together, that you were the safety of a lighthouse to his wandering ship.

He kissed you - greedily and open mouthed, and you fell into him, letting him devour you. His hands worked quickly, desperate to see all of you, everything laid bare for him, with nothing but the ring glinting under the pale light of the moon. He kissed your neck, collarbone, throat, his hands and calloused fingertips brushing your flesh.

“I love you, (Y/N).” He said and you melted. You never felt short of love around him, but hearing those three words was like a hit of heroin, and you were desperate for more. You knew that he was as well, that he craved your stability and the sweetness you gave him, and you pulled his head from the crook of your neck, getting lost in those ocean eyes.

“Oh, Tommy. I love you.”

—————————————————————

The weeks passed, and the ring on your finger still gave you goosebumps when you saw it - a reminder of the man you loved. Life continued, business slowly dripping back into your days, the hazy bubble of love you had entered starting to pop but never fully dissolving. Tommy was adamant that you shouldn’t start back at work, making it very clear to you that he didn’t want you doing anything until he was beyond certain that you were completely healed.

You hated being stuck in the house however, and still managed to find a way to get a very reluctant Michael to sneak in some accounting work for you to do. Something that made Tommy see red when he found out, only to have you pout and preen and make all of his anger subside, although Michael wasn’t as lucky.

Wedding planning hadn’t been on your mind, not with business booming or the wonderful trip to New York. You were happy with everything, dizzied with love and lust and laughter, and whilst your finger had gotten much heavier, there was nothing in your relationship you wanted to change.

That didn’t stop Polly or Ada however from trying to plan the best party England had ever seen.

You remembered a sleepy Sunday morning with the two of them, and the shrill sound they both made when you said that you didn’t want a big wedding.

“What? Finally something bloody good happens to this family and you don’t want us to celebrate?”

You rolled your eyes, dunking your biscuit into your coffee with a smile. “I’m not saying we can’t celebrate, I’m just saying that I haven’t really thought about it, I just want something small.”

“Small? Every woman has dreamt of her wedding day!”

You looked over at Ada, wanting her to back you up against such traditionalist views. Instead, she held up her hands and laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “I hate to admit it, (Y/N) but I agree with Pol! It’s about time this family had something good happen, and you and Tom deserve a bloody wonderful day. I’ve never seen a love story quite like yours.”

You smiled at her kindness but didn’t let up, stirring your tea with your matching spoon.“I don’t want a fuss! I don’t need a big wedding to be happy, I just need him.”

“Well that’s sweet.” Polly interjected. “But I want to buy some new furs and get drunk and wake up next to a man who likes to buy me diamonds.”

You laughed out loud.

“Since when do you need a man to buy you diamonds?” Ada snorted, staring down her aunt over her strawberry filled pastry.

“I don’t. But they always look better when they’ve been bought by someone else.”

You sighed, watching the two of them playfully bicker, feeling so grateful that the stars had aligned and they were now your family.

“So you don’t have any plans? Not even a date or a dress in mind?” Polly asked, her brisk voice cutting through the banter.

“No.” You smiled. “The only thing I’m sure about is the groom.”

Polly rolled her eyes. “Well that’s going to need to change.”

——————————————————————

Slowly but surely you started to fall back into old habits and patterns, picking up where you left off at the Garrison, and meeting Michael and Isaiah for drinks in the city. Tommy was reluctant to loosen his grip at first, so used to having you all over him in the comfort of your own home, safe and warm under the protection of his watchful gaze and gentle hands. He knew that he didn’t own you, and that he couldn’t keep you under lock and key like a prisoner, but he spent those first few weeks anxiously pacing in his study, dreading the phone ringing and finding that you had once again been hurt because of him.

He kept his work as separate from you as he could. He knew you wanted to be by his side through everything, but the wound was too fresh for him, too raw, and he needed to know that you were safe. So he kept his sins and misdemeanours away from you, making his home his sanctuary and you his oasis, finding religion in your lips and solace in your touch.

You were in no hurry to arrange anything. As much as you loved the idea of Tommy being your husband, you were happy to just let things slowly fall into place and try to regain whatever normalcy you had lost - but your future in laws had different plans.

Polly was a whirlwind. She spent the majority of her free time writing letters and phoning different market vendors from all over the world, her office filled with sugar icing and the finest loose leaf tea that money could buy, all gifts from those wanting to cater what was set to be the “wedding of the century.”

You didn’t mind - even when she stole you away for an entire work day to pick out cutlery and matching table runners, or you came back from the department store with pin pricks up and down your body from hours of having dresses fitted. She was happy, and when darkness seemed to follow the family like a storm cloud, you were adamant at grasping at whatever you could get, even if it wasn’t quite what you envisioned.

You knew Tommy found the whole thing hilarious. How his stoic and level headed Aunt had been swept up in lavender and lace, snapping at bakers over mango whipped frosting and arguing about the best way to cook lamb. It made him so damn happy though, when you came home after a long day - eyes tired but sparkling, face flushed and glowing, the way that he always wanted you to be. The distraction was what you needed, something sugar coated and dreamy to blur everything that had happened, and he knew that you were in great hands with Polly.

He couldn’t even deny that he was looking forward to the day. He knew more than anything that he wanted you to be his wife, and whilst he loved shiny, expensive things, all he truly needed was you by his side. He didn’t want a fuss, he wanted whatever you did, but imagining you all wide eyed and honey lipped at the alter, rings forever symbolising your connection, the sound of your first name with his last.

Well, that he liked.

Even though you were feeling a little out of your depth amongst all of the wedding planning, there were some things that you knew that you wanted. Like, the powder pink roses from the bushes Tommy had gifted you for your birthday to line the stairway, and ocean blue forget me nots in the bouquet - to match his eyes. You even had a hazy vision of what you wanted your dress to be, the hours spent walking through boutiques in London with Ada paying off as you debated A line, trumpet, and ball gown style dresses.

The main thing you were certain about, however, was who you wanted by your side throughout the whole thing. You had a feeling he knew something like this was coming, he always did have a way of knowing what you were thinking, but even Michael wasn’t expecting you to leap out of his wardrobe hand in hand with Finn, holding out a small cupcake with a candle on the top one rainy evening.

“Holy shit!” He squealed, watching as you and his cousin broke down in fits of laughter, clutching each other as you toppled onto the floor, jackets and shirts trailing behind you.“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Surprise!” You managed to say in between deep throaty giggles. “We wanted to catch you off guard!”

“Well you fucking did.” He tutted, “Hiding in my wardrobe! Nearly fucking shat myself.”

Your laughter was infectious, and soon all three of you were close to tears, your bodies exhausted and elated, gripping onto one another to stop from completely collapsing.

“So what was the point of this ambush, then?” He asked finally, his hands on his knees as he gasped for air, his face slowly returning to its normal colour.

You thrust the cupcake under his nose, the tip of the flame narrowly missing singeing the little hairs on his upper lip. “I want you to be my maid of honour! Well, man of honour.” You corrected quickly.

“You want me to be your what?”

Quick to silence his objections, you added - “Finn’s going to be flower girl!”

“Flower boy.” He interjected, “Katie’s flower girl. I’m just doing you a favour.”

“Yeah. Right.”

You and Michael locked eyes for a moment, challenging the other with your gaze. After a tense minute of silence, he broke out in a smile, one of the classic, cheesy ones that you loved so much.

“Do I have to wear a dress?”

You grinned. “Only if you want to.”

He threw his arms in the air in mock defeat, and he seemed so much younger, reminding you of running barefoot with him through raspberry fields, and throwing pennies down a pretty little well.

“Alright. Okay. Yes! Bloody hell.”

You leapt into his arms and Finn whooped triumphantly, partly pleased for you but mostly happy that he wasn’t the only member of the family who had somehow been talked into something he was bound to be teased over.

You felt Michael press a kiss to the crown of your head, his words getting muffled by your loose hair. “God, does Tommy even know what he’s got himself in for with you?”

You smiled, as sweet as spun sugar.

“Nope.”

—————————————————————-

As much as you wanted to stay in the rose tinted bubble that wedding planning had created, more and more problems with the business started to arise, and everything had to be put on the back burner - but it never dampened your spirits.

The hot summer days bled into crisp autumn nights, and you were trading your short lavender dresses for fur lined coats and boots. You celebrated Christmas with everyone, and discovered that a day you never used to enjoy was now your favourite, all because of the man you would up beside.

New Years passed in a flurry of drunken kisses and gold dresses and dancing until the sun rose. You vaguely remember finding Arthur passed out in the bathtub, surrounded by ice and champagne, the gramophone shaking the paintings on the walls. Your main memory was Tommy pulling you down the hall with him, away from the rest of the family, kissing you right as the clock struck midnight with hands tangled in your hair and a smile on his lips.

He often left for weeks at a time, work taking him up and down the country, and that meant that every morning and night you spent together was treasured.

One particular spring morning, when the air was starting to warm up and the days getting a little longer, you were sprawled on Tommy’s lap in the garden, reading from your novel whilst he read the paper. The day was less than half way though and you had already spent the entire morning in bed, making up for all the time you had lost. Now you leafed through your book with strawberry stained fingers, the curl of cigarette smoke twisting around you both.

Tommy had made it certain that he was not to be bothered that day. It had been almost an entire month of nothing but speaking over the phone and stolen kisses before he had to up and leave again, and the only thing he goddamn wanted was to do absolutely nothing with you. He was exhausted, not that he would ever admit it, but because you knew him better than absolutely everyone, you forced him to take a break before the man you loved completely crumbled like a bourbon biscuit.

So when you knew that he was coming back, you gave Mary strict orders to ignore all phone calls or mail regarding the business until the weekend was over. She had happily obliged, so you and Tom were both confused when you saw her running through the grass in her wingtips, her hands still soapy and wet from doing the dishes.

“Oh Mr Shelby! And Mrs Shelby!” She called, her voice so shrill that a few birds even took flight. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

Tommy sat up as best he could with you on his lap, his arms snaking around your waist to stop you from toppling over. You could feel the cigarette moving with his lips as he spoke, his accent deep and throaty in your ear.

“Mary? What is it?”

She didn’t reply, instead thrusting a sage green and gold piece of paper at you. You caught it before it fell to the floor, and let out a loud, genuine laugh when you read the script. You felt Tommy leaning over you shoulder, and felt the rumble of his body as he laughed with you.

“Well,” He said finally, pressing his lips to your neck. “Guess we know what we’re doing next month, Princess.”

On July 20th

Please join us for the union of Mr Thomas Shelby and (Y/N, Y/L/N).

The wedding of the century!

————————————————————————————

Polly had organised everything. Whilst you had been dealing with the accounting from the Garrison and Tommy had been building his business, Polly had managed to do her job, and single handily plan a wedding.

Everything was full steam ahead. The house was a flurry of florists and caterers, the grounds were picked and preened and polished by gardeners that had sailed over from Italy and the south of France. It was wonderful, if not a little overwhelming, but it was worth everything to see your future Aunt beaming as she supervised everything.

Tommy had pulled you aside a few times, determined to make sure that this was what you wanted, ready to pull the plug if he even caught a whiff that all of the glitz and glamour were out of your comfort zone. But Polly knew you well - not that you ever doubted her - and everything was beautiful and muted, classic and beguiling, just like something out of a fairytale.

You tried to be as involved as you could, picking out flowers for the bouquets, letting Esme try out a million different hairstyles on you as you sat barefoot and cross legged on the floor like a child, running around the kitchen with Katie, taste testing all of the frosting you could find. More than anything though, you were excited, elated for the day and it had nothing to do with all of the smoke and mirrors, instead it was the man you would meet at the end of the aisle.

You could tell that Tommy was getting antsy for the day as well. He was softer, calmer, his touch on your skin gentle but possessive, calling you “Mrs Shelby” as you came apart under him. He found himself falling asleep a little easier, his breath not getting caught in his lungs, his mind wandering and imagining his favourite girl in a pretty white dress, waiting for him under an arch of blush coloured tulips.

The real surprise though, came the morning before your wedding. You were curled up on the sofa drinking strong coffee and eating honey toast as Tommy finished some paperwork. He was trying to get everything done before the end of the day, wanting tomorrow and the weeks that came after to be nothing but the two of you.

You told him you never felt neglected. You had been by his side through it all, you knew just how demanding his job was, but that still didn’t ease the niggle of pressure at the back of his neck when he had his nose in his books for too long. He truly couldn’t wait until he could shove everything and everyone else aside. All he wanted was his girl in his arms with his ring on her finger, and a bottle of sweet gin.

Everything seemed so within reach, until the front door banged open like a whirlwind, and you heard the sounds of Polly’s stilettos against the hardwood floor.

“Alright you two, no time to lose!”

You and Tommy lifted your heads quickly, your eyes meeting across the room. “Polly?”

“- and Arthur!” An voice added, accompanied by the familiar face of the eldest Shelby.

You smiled, shutting the cover of your book. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Tommy shot you a sharp look that said, don’t encourage them, but you ignored him, getting to your feet to greet them both.

Polly kissed you quickly on both cheeks, leaving you covered in a light layer of sticky red lipstick as she surveyed you both.

The study was the only place the two of you could find solace amongst the craziness of the wedding planning, every other room in the house filled with servants and buckets of flowers, the floors freshly waxed and polished. You could practically feel Tommy rolling his eyes behind you as Mary pushed open the double doors, holding your pastel pink overnight bag.

“Mrs Grey, I’ve packed all of Mrs Shelby’s things like you asked.”

“You did what?” Tommy said, rising to his feet.

Polly brushed him aside, reaching for the bag in the maid’s hand.“Ah. Thank you Mary, but it’s not Mrs Shelby yet, not till tomorrow. Let her be Miss (Y/L/N) for one last night.”

“Polly?” You asked, “What are you up to?”

She winked at you, her eyes catlike and beautiful, filled with the mischief that always hung around her. “You’re coming with me, love.”

“And you Tom, are coming with me.” Arthur said, pointing a finger at his brother.

“No. Fuck off, both of you.”

Polly put her hands in the air, but you could tell she had been expecting his resistance. “No Thomas. She needs a night as a free woman! Lord knows after tomorrow you’ll be keeping her all to yourself.”

Tommy straightened his back and crossed his arms, never one to back down from a fight, especially with his Aunt. “She’s staying here.”

“It’s tradition!” Arthur interjected, his voice already slurred despite it not even being noon yet.

“Fuck tradition.”

You moved forward, blinking up at your future husband. You knew why he was being so stubborn, the day before your wedding would be the prime time for something to go wrong, or something to happen with you, and keeping you within reach was what he wanted. As much as you loved spending every second with him, you also loved his family, and knew that perhaps a night of drinking and laughing and exhaling, was what you both needed.

He looked at you, his eyes unmoving and stern. You didn’t falter though, mimicking his frown and knitting your eyebrows together, trying to knock down the walls he was so insistent on putting up.

“It might be nice, Tom.” You said. “You deserve to have some fun, and it’ll make seeing each other tomorrow all the more special.”

A moment passed and you felt him falter, the corner of his lips moving ever so slightly.

“Alright. Bloody hell, fine.”

“Good decision brother.” Arthur said,

“We’re not leaving town.” Tommy stated simply, laying down the law.

“We wouldn’t dream of it! Johnny brought his caravan down, all of you men are camping in the woods. Us girls are staying here.”

“Aberama Gold doesn’t happen to be one of these men does he?” You said playfully, nudging Polly with your arm. She rolled her eyes but pulled you closer, her fingers toying with the satin ribbons on your blouse.

“Cmon, love, lets go.”

“Wait.”

You felt Tommy approaching you both, his large hands cupping around your face. You melted into him, his touch so soft and so warm. His eyes were so very blue, cobalt and icy, but they made your stomach infinite. He pulled you into him, smashing his lips against yours, not caring who was watching as he dug his fingers into the roots of your hair, dragging you against his body. Breathless, he pulled away, smiling at the frown on your face from the lack of contact.

“Be safe. Alright? I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Alright you two.” Polly said exasperatedly, but you could hear the happiness in her tone. “Let’s go.”

You let her lead you away, smiling at Arthur as he bounded towards his brother, filling him in on the multitude of activities he had planned for the night.

Every single one of them involved drinking.

As you left, Tommy shot Polly a look, one that told her to keep you near and to keep you safe, and she nodded in response. As soon as you made it into the hall she laughed genuinely, squeezing your shoulder.

“You will definitely fit in with this family, (Y/N).”

“Hm?”

“Yes. You have the Shelby woman’s gift.” She leant down, her lips to your ear. “The power to control a strong man like a puppet.”

———————————————————————

So there you were. Wrapped up in satin and lace, a glass filled with blood red wine, your friends happy and tipsy, swapping stories under the moonlight.

Bea and Violet, two of your closest friends from back in the little village had arrived to be your bridesmaids, their eyes wide and glimmering when they had seen the life you now lived. You watched as they sat with Polly, telling her tales of when you and Michael had been young and stupid - not that much had changed.

Polly had invited all of the girls from work and your friends from in the city, and the laughter bounced off the walls and engulfed you. Ada was enchanting, completely beaming as she sat next to you, telling you every embarrassing thing about her brother she could remember as she downed shots of vodka and cinnamon whisky.

Michael was lounging on the floor with one of Polly’s fine fox scarves draped around his neck. Charlotte was curled up in his side with a cigarette, her hand intertwined with his as she watched him with dopey, loved up eyes. You caught his eye and smiled at him, and he winked in response, joining in with the girls’ as though he was one himself.

You had told him to enjoy the night with the boys, but he refused. You partly suspected that it had something to do with Tommy, and that your fiancé had wanted you to have more protection, but you also knew that Michael wanted to spend tonight with you. Things hadn’t changed per say, but there was no denying that the both of you were getting older, and soon you would be a member of his bloodline rather than just his best friend.

You still had all of your wonderful memories, like running through sunflower fields and swimming in the river until the sun set, but they seemed further away now, almost out of reach. Part of you still clung to the past, the innocence of your youth, all peach skies and daisy chains, but there was no denying that your vision was cloudy, blurry, only focused on the future, and the only man that you wanted to be in it.

Somebody flipped the record over. You listened to the thump and rhythm of the music, smiling at those you loved as they danced around you. You adored everyone in the room, even Lizzie who had arrived already drunk and had glared daggers at you every time you turned around. These were your new family, your new life, and whilst you were elated and excited for it all, you also really needed some fucking air.

Almost on cue, Violet toppled over a champagne flute as she kicked her legs like a cabaret dancer, and you sighed playfully as she covered her mouth with her hands like a small child, her eyes as wide as the moon.

“Oh! Oh! I’m so sorry!”

“Violet, it’s alright! I’ll go and get some cloth, you ladies stay here, try not to break anything else, eh?” You said rising to your feet and darting out of the door, the sound of laughter following you like twinkling diamonds. As soon as you could you ran down the stairs, your feet pattering against the carpet, sneaking out of the back door and into the jet black night.

————————————————————-

The moon was round and full, and you sat cross legged on the grass, your bare feet dipped into the lake that wrapped around the property. It was your favourite place to clear your head, under the weeping willow, listening to the sound of the animals around you, the night air brisk yet comfortable. It was hard to believe that in a few hours you would be married, bound to this brilliant man that had swept you up like a rough wave, capturing you completely.

“Not having second thoughts are we?”

You smiled in the dark. His voice cutting through the night like a knife through butter.

“Tommy.” You breathed, turning around and facing him, the spark of his cigarette as bright as the stars above you both. He grinned at the sight of you, his shirt unbuttoned at the top and his sleeves rolled up, looking like a vision under the moonlight. “What are you doing here?

“I should be asking you the same question.”

“I just needed some air.” You said, curling your toes and inhaling the cool air, you felt his eyes all over you, and you wanted to get as close to him as possible, replace his gaze with his fingertips. You were inches apart and yet you still missed him, and you knew that you would feel this way forever.

“Ah. I take it the ladies are just as boisterous as the men. I only managed to get away after Arthur fell into the bonfire.”

“Bloody hell! Is he alright?”

“Burnt moustache and bruised ego. Nothing he can’t handle.”

You were about to laugh but you stopped suddenly, remembering something important.

“Wait! It’s after midnight!”

“Are you about to turn into a pumpkin?” Tommy asked, amused by your change in tone.

“No! We’re getting married today! You can’t see me!”

“(Y/N).”

“Turn around!” You squealed, pushing him away from you and spinning on your heel.

You heard an exasperated laugh.

“I think we’ve had our fill of bad luck, little one. Turn around, I want to see your face.”

He took you in. No makeup and loose hair and still squeezing all of the air from his lungs.

“We don’t have to do it like this, you know.”

“If this isn’t what you want - all the fucking champagne and caviar. We could leave tonight, get married in a fucking courthouse - just us. Or we could do it in Johnny’s field, get him to marry us right next to his caravan. I don’t care where it is or what we do, I just want - I just need to be with you.”

His words made your gut twist, the sincerity in his voice meaning everything to you, knowing that he would move mountains if it would make you happy, and that you would do the same for him. “I think Polly would murder us.”

“She doesn’t scare me.”

“She should.”

“No. I want this. Yes it’s all a bit... much.” you struggled to find the right word, feeling overwhelmed but ultimately completely spoiled by all of the fuss. “But I think it will be lovely. Your family deserve this. You deserve this.”

Looking at you all sleepy eyed, dressed in silk and satin and lace, your necklace hanging in the sweet dip of your throat, the ring on your finger glinting under the summer twilight, he really wasn’t sure he did.

He pulled you into him, not wanting to be apart from you for any longer. You smelt of home, like violets and green apples and vanilla cupcakes, and he felt like heaven, with his strong body and warm hands and comforting arms. Safe in his presence, you mumbled the words that had been the reason for many of your sleepless nights.

“Do you think she’ll come?”

She being your mother. The woman who had nursed you and bathed you and kissed the scrapes and bruises on your knees when you were a child had all but refused to attend your wedding. You understood why. Your trip to visit Michael in Birmingham was only supposed to be a few days, a week at most, and here you were two years later engaged to a man on the other side of England. You had tried to come home a few times, but the visits were cold and severed, Michaels foster parents filling your mother with poison about the family you had entered.

The phone calls stopped. No more weekly letters from your mother or care packages wrapped in string. You still wrote, but you never got a reply, only a small impersonal card at Christmas and your birthday. Michael understood, and always knew how to comfort you. He had also left the only family he had known and entered the strange underground where you both now lived. He was a boy from the sleepy village who had grown into a man.

It was harder for you, being a woman meant that you were held with certain standards and expectations. But, luckily you had Polly and Ada who taught you that you could be more than just a housewife.

It affected Tommy the most though. If anything was bothering you he knew how to deal without immediately, crushing whatever had made you sad with the heel of his boot, using his power to make everything alright again. He couldn’t do anything about your mother though, couldn’t twist her view of him, not when it was so accurate.

He was bad for you and you were too good for him.

It hurt him though, when late at night you would get that sad, wistful look in your eyes. Or when you would wait for the postman every Monday, the disappointment bleeding from you every time nothing came. He wanted to fix everything, but he didn’t know how. He left the bulk of the comforting words to Ada and Michael, and did his best to show you how much he cared in his own way, with gentle touches and shared looks and those three words that always made him feel better.

Your wedding though, was a different matter. There was no way in hell that you would be anything less than happy if he had something to do with it. His heart broke a little the day that the RSVP came back in the post, a simple “unable to attend.” scrawled at the bottom, as though it was a routine doctors appointment and not her daughters wedding day. Tommy knee he had to fix it when he heard the muffled sound of sobs coming from your bathroom, his heart ripping in two just thinking about the tears staining your beautiful face.

He had a meeting in London but he pushed it back, determined to right the wrongs that lingered around you both. His black matte Bugatti looked incredibly out of place as it trailed down the quiet village lanes, the purr of the engine much louder than the bird songs and running water in the background. It wasn’t hard to picture you in the chocolate box cottage that he parked in front of, smiling ever so faintly at the thought of you running through the grass when you were a child, hanging up laundry in the summer, drinking hot chocolate in the winter.

She opened the door after the first knock, her eyes the size of dinner plates and her mouth agape. Usually, Tommy would be firm and curt and rude, demanding exactly what he wanted and when he expected it to be done, but he knew that he had to be somewhat kind to your mother, even if he currently resented her because of the state you were in.

“I won’t stay long, Mrs (Y/L/N.)” He said, not bothering to step over the threshold, knowing that she’d probably scream if he did. “You might not like it but I’m in love with your daughter. I intend to marry her, and as my wife, I want to make her happy.”

Your mother didn’t interject, merely nodded, and Tommy took that as a sign to continue.

“I know what you think of me and you’re not wrong, but don’t punish your daughter over it. (Y/N) is safe and she is happy, and as her mother that should make you pleased shouldn’t it? Not behaving like a child and treating as if she is a stranger. I want my wife to be happy, so put aside your fucking prejudices and buy a nice hat, alright? For her sake.”

The tension was thick and hot and practically dripping over them, but their eyes met briefly, and something flickered between them.

“I hope to see you at the wedding.” He bit, his tone as sharp as his canines, turning on his heel and heading for the car.

He hummed quietly, listening the sounds of the night. The flicker of the bonfire in the fields behind, the sound of drunken singing and chanting that was louder than a siren.

“I think she will.”

You thought about saying something but held it in, not wanting to ruin the tender moment of him holding you against his chest, the heat of summer nothing compared to the two of you.

He moved you slowly, placing his hands either side of your face, his eyes veiled and moonless.“Go and get some sleep.” He said. “Because you won’t be getting any tonight.”

His voice was low and wolffish, and you felt your entire body setting alight at his words and the darkness in his eyes. His hold on you was so tight it was almost painful, but there was nowhere else that you would rather be. You smiled prettily, already feeling the butterflies coiling in your stomach, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss him, sweet as strawberry ice cream and fresh honey, the taste lingering on his tongue. You left silently, leaving him grinning dopily, drunk on you and the heat of the evening.

He watched you as you walked away. His eyes never leaving as you stalked back to the house, his gaze lingering long after your shadow grew small, and the front door opened and closed behind you.

————————————————————————

Polly let you sleep in until 8.

You had crashed out after seeing Tommy, Polly had scolded you for leaving and then insisted that you got some beauty sleep, and you practically collapsed into the powder pink pillows on the guest bed.Sleep had come easily, and you grumbled a little when your new in laws had barged in the next morning, pulling back the curtains and letting in the heavy sunlight.

You were ushered into the master bathroom. The claw foot tub had already filled to the brim, rose petals shimmering on the surface, epsom salts dissolving around you. It was warm and inviting, steam billowing around your face as you undressed, and a cup of cinnamon coffee waiting for you on the cabinet by the side, next to an almond croissant from your favourite bakery in London.

You were slightly confused as to how she acquired it, but you knew by now to never question Polly and her methods.

Mary came in not long after, the maid you now thought of as a close friend unable to keep the smile off her face as she helped wash your hair, dragging a soft toothed golden comb over your locks and massaging lavender oil into your scalp. You scrubbed your skin until it shone, washed your body and dragged a razor across any unwanted hair, soothing your skin with thick coconut cream and honey salve.

You could hear everyone on the floors below, the sound of clattering china and rivalling voices coming up through the floorboards. You thought it might make you nervous, but it didn’t, if anything it made you feel more certain. The butterflies in your stomach were a swarm now, and all you could think of was him.

The girls were spread out in the largest guest room. The big windows had been opened, the lace curtains billowing in the warm breeze, and you could see start of the canopy being set up along the great expansive garden, one of yours and Tommy’s favourite places.

Ada squealed when she saw you, even with just a towel around your body and hair, she showered you in compliments.

“You’re glowing!”

“That’s because I’ve scrubbed off ten layers of skin.” You teased, letting her hug you tightly.

The rest of the girls clambered towards you, cigarettes in their fingers and champagne on their tongues. They were a blur of sweet lilac and warm honeysuckle, the colours of their soft chiffon dresses sparkling under the low lights, and you could feel your heart burst at the sight.

“Oh, Pol.” You said quietly, “Everyone looks so beautiful.”

She came towards you, a vision in her golden draped dress. It was covered in glimmering beads and diamonds, and she looked like a starlet on the big screen. She took you in her arms and laughed, “All you need is Auntie Polly to wave her magic wand.” She shook you slightly, running her fingers along the damp skin of your arm. “Come on, you. I think there’s a very impatient man waiting for you.”

Your nails were filed and painted pink, your hair mused and styled by Mary, leaving it long and wavy down your back, the way that both you and Tommy liked it best. You laughed out loud when Bea and Violet showed you their wedding present, a beautiful swan white lingerie set from the dressmakers in the village, complete with high stockings and a frilly lace garter.

“Maybe keep a doctor nearby when he sees you in that tonight.” Bea giggled as you fingered the delicate stitching and fabric.

Not everything was perfect though. One of the caterers dropped a plate of crab cakes and goats cheese bruschetta onto the floor, and one of the mares that was going to lead the carriage to the church had bolted at the unfamiliar hands and raced around the paddock away from the grooms that tried to catch her. Polly had huffed loudly and left with the girls and promises that she would be back with someone’s head, you had nodded, oblivious to everyones anxiety, too dazed at the thought of the day ahead to worry about the little things.

So they left you alone in the big bedroom, staring at your reflection in the golden mirror. It had been a four woman job to get you into the dress. Ada holding you steady by the armpits as Mary and Polly and a unsuspecting servant from downstairs was roped into helping you slide under the fabric, the tulle and lace as heavy as an anvil on you all. Polly had the dress shipped over from Paris after months of searching for the perfect dress, finally ordering one completely hand made and one of a kind, just like you, she had said.

You had never seen Polly cry.

Once, almost, when she had too much brandy at Christmas and she spoke of how much she wished Anna could have been there, the lump in her throat unmistakable as she told you how much she missed her daughter. And now in her nephews bedroom, her smile so wide and her eyes glistening, as she took your face in her hands.

“Thank you for making my boys so happy.”

You could hear her downstairs. The click of her stilettos and the sound of her voice, and once again you were infinitely grateful for whatever cosmic force had brought this wild, brilliant and chaotic family into your life. You turned back to the mirror, running your fingers over the delicate beading on the corset of your dress.

It was without a doubt the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. It was the colour of a fresh blanket of snow, so angelic and pure. There were thin straps at the shoulders, decorated with tiny crystals and jewels. The bodice was cinched and slightly scooped at the neckline, the puckering of your scar showing just above the pristine chiffon.

It had never been something you wanted to hide. It showed that you were alive.

The skirt was wide and full. Layers of expertly fitted tulle and crinoline holding it together, gilding and cascading like a waterfall down your legs and to the floor. There were pearls and thread and diamonds in the shape of flowers stitched right into the fabric, glimmering and twinkling like the stars in the sky when you shifted in the light.

“I’ve left the car running.”

You turned at the noise, smiling when you spotted Michael in the doorway, looking like a million dollars in his rich navy suit and tie.

“Just in case.” He continued.

You rolled your eyes, laughing sarcastically. “Ha. Ha.”

He stepped further into the room, his eyes soft and kind and as wide as dinner plates. The emotion on his face making your heart constrict, his face suddenly so much younger. “Wow.” He breathed. “You look beautiful.”

You blushed, your eyes darting to the floor as he approached you.

“Really, (Y/N). You look... wow.”

“Thanks Mikey.” You said softly, the two of you comfortable in the silence. In that moment nothing else really mattered, you were two kids again, running through waist high grass, sledding down the hills in the winter, splashing each other in the river. So much had changed and yet it would always be the two of you.

He broke the silence first, not one to linger in the past for too long. “This is for you.”

“Oh. Michael. You shouldn’t have! You’ve already done so much.”

“I wanted to.”

He rummaged around in his pockets, finally pulling out a large scarlet velvet box, slowly lifting off the lid. Inside was an exquisite sparkling marquise diamond necklace, intertwined with yellow and rose gold, oval shaped crystals draping and falling from the band like raindrops. Beside it, were two matching earrings, brilliantly cut, so clear that you could see your reflection, the gems woven together like ivy on a cottage. So stunning that you started to tear up.

You gasped, unable to swallow your shock. “Michael! This must have cost a fortune.”

“Nah. I stole it.” He teased, his voice a little shy.

You pulled him in to your arms. He kissed your head, pulling you tightly against him.

“I love you.” He said, his words muffled by your hair. “You deserve this. God, you deserve the world. I am so happy for you.”

You smiled into the fabric of his suit, muffling an “I love you” into the stitched seams. He squeezed you playfully, making you squeal as he hoisted you into the air.

“Careful. If you smudge my makeup there’s a good chance that Polly will shoot you.” You giggled.

“I can handle her.”

“Can you?”

His gaze faltered and you laughed, hitting his shoulder. He spun you around, lifting the necklace from its box and settling it onto your throat, his skilled hands fastening the clasp. You gasped at your reflection, your eyes meeting his in the mirror.

“It looks perfect.”

“I love it Michael.”

He pressed a kiss to your crown, watching as you delicately picked up the earrings and put them on.

“And tell Tommy that if he ever hurts you that I’ll kill him.”

A moment of silence, and then:

“- you’re not going to really tell him that are you?”

You both laughed as he outstretched an arm, looking you up and down proudly, his eyes already a little glossy and big. You thought of how much younger he looked.

“Cmon.” He said, “ I think they’re waiting for you.”

————————————————————

Thomas Shelby never felt apprehensive. He wasn’t familiar with the prickling anxiety that lingered at the bottom of his spine, or the dread that that had settled itself low in his gut, or the way that his palms were growing hotter by the second. He never got nervous. Until now.

Perhaps nervous wasn’t the right word. He had no doubt that you would be walking down the aisle in a few minutes, he knew that you would say “I do.” with as much certainty as him, and he knew that the golden band in Arthur’s jacket pocket would soon be on your finger. But still, the foreboding remained, hanging around his head like a dark cloud.

He didn’t deserve you. He knew that much for sure. He was the devil, his hands stained with blood, his lungs filled with ash, his insides dark and mean. You were an angel, soft and sweet and gentle and warm, the girl that could bring him to his knees.

The church abbey felt big, the summer sun filtering through the stained glass windows, the high ceilings making the room feel vast and empty, despite the crowded benches. He needed you to arrive, to settle the unease inside of him, to light up the room in the way that only you could, feeling every single empty space with your light.

He glanced around the room. Arthur was next to him, nursing a pretty tragic hangover and still a little ashy from his burn, but his smile was bright and he winked at his younger brother. There were plenty of blinders here, working rather than as guests, Tommy was insistent that he wanted as much protection over the day as possible, and even though it was your wedding day, he never would stop protecting you. He wouldn’t put it past his enemies to try something on what should be the happiest day of your lives.

He saw your friends from work. John and Esme and their litter of children. Lizzie and her new boyfriend, hanging off his arm and looking at Tommy with already drunk, hazy eyes. He even smiled as he saw Alfie perched in a middle row, his hat bigger than his head, his beard neatly combed and an array of golden rings on his fingers. Ollie was next to him, watching the room warily, always on guard.

Once Alfie had heard about the engagement he sent over fresh loaves and flowers and then invited himself to the wedding. But he needn’t have, as he had always been on the guest list.

Tommy’s eyes grazed over the person he had been looking for though. Your mother. Sitting in a pew near the front, draped in fine silk and a matching hat, looking entirely out of place but smiling tightly nonetheless. Their eyes met, a single flame of acknowledgement flickering between them. Unspoken but still lingering in the air, that they would both always put you first and that was all that mattered.

“You nervous, Tommy boy?” He heard Arthur say from behind him. He opened his mouth to answer but stopped as he heard noises from outside, the clunk of horse hooves and the rattle of the carriage. He felt his palms sweat and his heart race like he was back in battle, but this time the feeling was so sickly sweet and warm, he felt so fucking happy.

There was so much light when the doors opened. Polly was traditional, and even with all of the immorality in her life, she was adamant that you would both be married in a church. Neither of you protested, Tommy would have said “I do” in front of God himself if it meant you would be his wife. None of it mattered to him.

He remembered the day you came back from seeing the cathedral for the first time. How wide your smile was as you laid curled up in his chest, his lips leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck as you told him all about the ivy covered steeples and wildflowers and beautiful black jackdaws.

You were smitten, and so was he.

There wasn’t much they could do to decorate the church. Back at the house was where the main party was going to be held, but Polly was a genius, and every empty space was filled with tall flickering candles and bouquets of flowers. Everything felt clean and soft and pure, a mixture of old and rustic and fresh and new.

Light. So much light coming in from outside. The day already so sticky warm and wonderful, much like the summer the two of you met and fell in love. Katie came in first, giggling at the eruption of “aww’s” from the pews, everybody watching as she threw small white daisies and coral amber rose petals down the aisle.

Finn followed, looking like an adult in his suit and tie and freshly polished brogues. Then the bridesmaids, coy smiles on their faces, hair curled and polished and smiles that seemed to stretch all the way to the moon. Tommy could feel Arthur’s sly grin from behind him, and knew that he would have a job of distracting his older brother from the beautiful young ladies later on.

The fabric of their dresses swished and swayed under the light, the softness of the skirts and the sharp heel of their stilettos such a wonderful contrast. The ladies whose faces he vaguely recognised moved to your side of the alter, young and impressionable eyes looking around the grand room, obviously astonished and surprised that one of their own was going to be married in such a remarkable chapel.

Ada was next. Polly at her side. His sister and his Aunt commanding the entire room with just the sound of their shoes and the sway of their hips. They looked incredible, such a mixture of power and beauty. Polly’s smile was smug and self assured, but also filled with a certain kindness that was meant just for Tommy. Ada’s eyes were glistening, looking at her brother with adoration and pride, and that playful tease that he knew and loved.

The room was quiet for a moment. The anticipation roaring around like a wasp trapped under a glass, and Tommy could see Curly smiling happily, peering down the aisle as they waited for you to arrive.

For Tommy, his whole life had once been so loud, and then, as if by magic, everything stopped. All of the noise, the blur, the people. They all faded and disappeared. It was like having his head held underwater, the rush of the ocean and the pounding of his blood in his ears deafening him. He felt movement around him, everybody in the pews rising to their feet, the orchestra starting the bridal chorus. His friends and family were smiling so widely, enjoying the ambience and the atmosphere, holding their hands to their chest and wiping their eyes and muttering how beautiful everything was.

He didn’t see any of it. He only saw you.

You had always been the most beautiful woman to him, the kind of woman that made the air leave his lungs and his heart beat a little faster, but oh god, did you look magnificent. In your dress that wrapped and dipped and swayed around your legs like running water, the bodice that cinched you in tightly, exposing the dip of your throat and the curve of your collarbone, just begging him to leave a necklace of bruises next to the diamonds. Your eyes were wide, lined with kohl and blush on your cheeks that reminded him of sun soaked days and strawberry jam and wax stamped envelopes. The curve of your lips, raspberry red gloss that made him think of kissing you until neither of you knew where one of you began and the other ended, his hands in your hair, your legs around his waist.

He felt tears prick behind his eyes. Such a foreign feeling that he almost recoiled. He was so used to being strong and in charge, never letting his emotions bubble up on the surface where somebody might see. But seeing you walk down the aisle, filling the room with love and youth and kindness - knowing that you were going to be his wife, that your days would begin and end with each other, that you would fight and fuck and laugh and cry, tell each other everything, hold him when the shovels got too loud, clean him when he was dripping with another mans blood, be the one you called because no one else would ever compare.

He let his eyes grow glossy as you stepped forward, taking his hand in yours. You were so smooth and soft and small and he was so large and rough and hard, but you fit together like you had been moulded that way, as though there was no where else you two could ever be. So in a room filled with people who respected him and trusted him as a cruel, calculated leader, he let himself be washed away with you,

Because he was in love. And nothing else fucking mattered.

———————————————————————-

Champagne and crystal chandeliers. Cotton candy coloured roses across all of the banister, wide full petals looking like silk under the lights. Pearl necklaces snapped in half and black satin gloves ripped up the seams, pretty fine china filled with bourbon, and laughter that never seemed to cease.

Tommy had tried to keep the party civilised for as long as he could, but the Shelby clan were persistent, and with the amount of booze in the house, they saw it as a challenge to drink it all.

The wedding dinner had gone well. Only the nearest and dearest invited to a seat at the grand table, you and Tommy at the head, his hand possessively on your thigh, your shoulder pressed against his chest. There were more courses than you could count, great big plates and bowls of honey roast ham and glazed partridges and peach trifle and jam soufflé. Your glasses were never empty and yet everyone was well mannered and kind, their voices a little softer than usual, their jokes a little bit cleaner.

You suspected it had something to do with the woman sat next to you, safely nestled in between yourself and Michael, the two people she knew. Your mother had been quiet but mellow at the ceremony, even going as far as hugging you with tears in her eyes as you gathered outside for the photos. There had been tension of course, but it meant the world to you that she was willing to put on a smile for the day.

You had no doubt that Tommy had ordered everyone to be on their best behaviour around her and you could feel yourself chuckle lightly as Arthur gave a very uncharacteristically charming toast to the two of you. The rest of the dinner passed pleasantly, and you could even see your mother start to loosen up as Ada spoke to her about her favourite novels and the current political climate.

After the plates had been cleared away and the guests started arriving for the party, your mother pulled you aside before you got to the living room.

“This might not have been what I wanted for you, (Y/N). You’re my daughter. I only want the best for you.” She murmured, wringing her hands as though she was willing herself to continue. “And it pains me to say it but... Thomas clearly loves you, and I truly feel safe leaving you in his hands. He might not be a good man, but he is good for you.”

Those words were more precious than all of the diamonds and jewels you had stuffed in your dresser upstairs, that your mother accepted the man you loved.

“Oh, Mum.” You sighed, pulling her into you. She was so familiar and warm and you could feel tears prickling behind your eyes. She held onto you tightly, kissing the top of your head and wrapping her arms around you as though you were a baby again.

“I must go and catch my train. But - I’ll call you (Y/N).” She said, and you nodded wildly, your smile so big you thought your cheeks might split.

You walked her to one of the cars, instructing the driver to take her to the station, waving at her as the car got smaller and smaller in your eyes. You felt Tommy approach you, his hand snaking across your waist, and you let him pull you close. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off, kissing him ferociously, letting your gratitude show in your touch. He accepted greedily, devouring you on the front steps of your home, his hands in your hair and your lips between his teeth, the sound of the party and music suddenly sounding so far away.

——————————————————-

With your mother gone, the party was in full swing. People were dancing barefoot because their shoes were stained with blood, sharing wide smiles between friends, the rooms smelling of skin and sweat and expensive perfume. You saw pupils blown up to the size of the moon, horse racing and gambling in the paddocks at the back, whoops and laughter vibrating around the house and shaking the paintings.

Tommy had kept you close, not that you ever wanted to stray. It was obvious that despite the genuine fun and admiration for him and all he had accomplished from those walking through his house with slack jaws, he only really wanted to be with you. It worked for the majority of the time, the two of you nestled on one of the ruby velvet chairs in the lounge, letting the crowds of people come and find you and offer their sincere congratulations.

But as always, being Thomas Shelby came with a price, and he often had to leave begrudgingly, with a tense jaw and closed fist, every time someone (Arthur) tore a painting or someone else, (Finn) crashed a car into the allotment and ripped up all of the courgettes.

He always left with a grumble and obvious annoyance swimming in his ocean eyes, planting a firm kiss to your lips and a promise to be back soon every time somebody called for him. He was never one for public displays of affection, he liked to make everyone know you were his but he preferred to keep his tenderness private. Maybe it was how drop dead gorgeous you looked in your gown, a looser, more intricate number you had donned for the evening party. Or maybe it was the rings you shared, the two solid gold circles looking like a sky full of stars under the lights, or maybe it was a mixture of the champagne soaked kisses and pure, uninhibited bliss he felt when he touched you - but whatever it was, you loved it, relishing the attention wholeheartedly.

You weren’t sure where he had got too this time, and somehow you had been wrangled into a conversation with a very tipsy Lord and Lady something or other, both of them fawning over you, their voices high like children. Your saving grace came in the form of a very tall, very stocky baker, his rings cool and comforting on your shoulder as he pulled you away.

“Yes. Yes. That’s very nice right, I’m just going to take (Y/N) away now, yes. Yes. Finish your drinks.” He waved them off as you laughed, “God, these rich fucks can talk for England. Fucking Liberty. Plus, I’ve seen them finish off all of the crab cakes. It’s not on.”

“No. Alfie, it’s not.” You said with a smile, letting him lead you into the parlour, the room almost empty and the faces that you recognised were pleasantly familiar. You grinned as you thought of how well Alfie knew the inside of the manor, something that you were sure to use as ammunition against Tommy any time he tried to tell you that “they weren’t friends.”

That was how he found you almost an hour later. Somehow the rest of the family had migrated into the room, bar Arthur who said he wasn’t drunk enough yet to be in the same room as Alfie. Tommy had been pulled and tugged in every direction, speaking to people he really didn’t give a shit about just to keep the party running smoothly, for your sake. He was on high alert, Johnny had said his boys had seen a figure running through the back paddocks, and just that alone was enough to send him spiralling. It was probably just a stray, strung out guest trying to get home, but it made his blood feel like it was electric.

He made all his men stay on guard, shut down the gambling and horse racing in the garden and made every single person who worked for him stay on red alert. Perhaps he was over reacting but he would never admit that, better to be overly cautious than have something happen to you. After doing laps of the house, checking on the cooks and gritting his teeth through drunken chats with whoever managed to grab him, he finally made his way back to you.

There you were. Face lit up under the candlelight, eyes tired but still sparkling, obviously exhausted but still enjoying the conversation, wanting to keep everyone happy. You looked ethereal. And for a moment he just watched you from the doorway, captivated by the movement of your hands, the bow of your lips, the way that you formed your words, so careful and light.

Alfie noticed him straight away, smiling cheekily as he pulled you into him. “Mrs Shelby.” He said, putting emphasis on both of the words and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. It was crazy how he could rile Tommy up more than anyone without being tipsy or high, somehow knowing how to push all of his buttons. “If you’re ever in London right, come to the bakery. I’ll show you a good time.”

You rolled your eyes at him, instantly knowing his game. You followed his gaze and saw the man you loved, your husband, watching you from the doorway.

“Tommy.”

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” He said firmly, brushing Alfie’s hand off you a little harder than he needed to. “I need to borrow my wife.”

God. Were you ever going to get used to him calling you that?

His hand slipped into yours and you melted, his lips grazing your ear lobe, deep accent rumbling like waves. “Cmon, lets go outside.”

You would have followed him anywhere, to the edge of the world if he had looked at you the way he was now, with those goddamn sky blue eyes and that smug, boyish grin.

Instead he led you through the party, playfully tugging on your hand as you both ran, desperate for nobody to see either of you and try to trap you in another mind numbing discussion. He took you through the servants entrance in the kitchen and into the courtyard, one of your favourite areas of the gardens. It was beautiful sculpted, with its high, emerald green bushes and intricately crafted pots and flower beds. You moved towards the fountain in the middle, surrounded by the rows of lilac and salmon tulips that swayed like ballet dancers in the wind.

He cleared his throat as you watched the water drip and fall and ripple down the stem of the fountain, the night sky reflected across it like a painting. It wasn’t chilly out but still he wrapped his blazer across your shoulders, filling your senses with cinnamon and nicotine and whisky sours.

“I want to read you my vows.” He said.

You turned to face him, confused.

“I know we both said we weren’t writing them, and I haven’t, not really, but there are some things I need to say to you.”

You opened your mouth to speak but closed it, watching him under the moonlight, how beautiful and how strong and how vulnerable he seemed all at once. You could feel your heart beating rapidly, your belly coiling and twisting, somehow he always managed to knock you off balance. He came towards you, close enough you could see the faint scars on his face from fights he had both won and lost, see the brilliance in his eyes and the sadness that always seemed to linger deep down in them, the curve of his lips and the sharpness of his teeth, the way that they had clenched around your heart and never let go.

“I deserve a lot of bad things. I do bad things, and I always thought that everything good would be taken away from me. I wasn’t born into a life like this, I’ve worked hard and given my blood sweat and tears to live like this, to get the things I have now. I’ve spent a lot of nights alone. Fuck, I’ve... felt alone since the moment I got on that train to France, and ever since I’ve been trying to find... something.”

“I thought it was all of this, but maybe it isn’t. I was always searching for the next big thing, the next move on the chessboard, the next city to take over. I didn’t realise how none of it made me happy until I walked into the Garrison the day you came here.”

A pause. A beat of silence.

“Look, I’m not the most articulate man, but God, I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you since the very first moment that I saw you. And - and - ” His voice crackles, fizzles out like a firework. “That day that I almost lost you, that nearly fucking killed me. That was when I realised that you were the thing I was searching for. You’re it for me.”

His hands on yours, pulling you in.

“For the first time in my life I don’t have to pretend to be happy. Whenever I see you, I just am. I can’t promise that I’m not going to fuck it up, but I’m trying, you make me want to try. You want to make me be better. You make me better.”

“I love you, (Y/N).”

He said, pressing his palm to your jawline, looking in your eyes with such sincerity and love that you felt as though you were floating.

“Oh, Tommy.” You breathed into the night, swept up and drowning in him, lost in lust and love and devotion, pressing your lips to his. “I love you.”

[borathae]

No no no no no no nonononono no Sibi please don’t, not this again please tell me that he will come back, there is only one chapter left and He can’t be gone for real please I’m hurting so much everything was kind of okay, he will come back right? Will they find him in the next chapter? No, wait sorry SORRY don’t answer that, of course spoilers, I’m seriously in so much pain for Min Yoongi right now he deserves all the love from her, from all three of them, YOONGI IM HERE ONCE AGAIN SCREAMING AT YOU TO COME BACK YOU LITTLE IDIOT OF A VAMPIRE DONT DO THIS AGAIN WE WENT THROUGH THIS ALREADY YOONGI DONT FUCKING RUN AWAY AGAIN COMEBACK!!!!

Oofff Ok ok… hi Sibi!!! how are you today? 💜 I just read the two latest chapters as you can tell jsksjsjsjsjjs

First of all I have to say once again that I missed our baby Taetae so much 😭😭😭he’s so charming and cute and I just love him so much baby has gone through so much but he’s finally back with the love of his life and he’s so happy and overwhelmed by her love GOD SENT ME A MAN LIKE HIM PLEASE IM BEGGING ON MY KNEES, the intimacy between them is heavenly Sibi for real, the way you portray the love these to characters have for each other is magnificent you can feel the pure love and adoration and the tenderness through the words is just so wonderful.

And the smut 😭😭😭 it was so hot but more than anything it was so romantic and cute 😭😭😭😭 shy baby Tae and he called her empress??????? I MELTED RIGHT THERE

Don’t get me started on the blood drinking as a promise of love, my sweet man just making sweet love to her while drinking her blood and professing his undying love for her I’m just- I can’t Sibi I love them so much (how did I get so invested in this wonderful story hsksjsjjsjsksjsjskak)

And the the walk in the snow 🥺🥺🥺🥺 so romantic 🥺🥺🥺 but my heart broke completely when he started talking about Jimin, his death still hurts me, and I too think he could’ve redeemed himself if it weren’t for Namjoon 😔 but the way Tae is grieving him, his best friend… it’s so sad and painful I’m so happy that at least he has oc with him again so he doesn’t have to carry all that pain by himself and can be comforted all he needs until he heals as much as possible for that painful loss 🥺

And I swear Sibi that when a distressed Kook appeared I started panicking because YOONGI NOT.THIS.AGAIN AND HE KILLED ALL THE VAMPIRES IN THE CELLAR???!!!!! DAMN NO HE CANT BE GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN

I think is so sweet that Tae tells oc that he can help Kook with his training, right away no doubt or resentment 🥺 I just know that once everything is resolved and they can start enjoying their lives together without danger looming over them the relationship between all four of them is gonna to be so beautiful 🥺 and yes I’m trying to focus on nice things to not think about Yoongi’s letter and how terribly sad and painful it is to read about him writing a goodbye letter to his princess, pouring all his feelings for her on the paper while crying and feeling like absolute shit with himself while doing it, nope I’m not gonna think about that and specially not thinking about him signing his letter with Yoongi Boongi, nope I’m out OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

Yoongi Boongi go back to your princess and your Koo right now stop it 😭😭😭😭

Thank you for these wonderful chapters Sibi, as always your writing is magnificent and I’m so sorry if I’m annoying you with my asks I just feel like a broken record with every single one that i sent every week 😭 but I just have to tell you how much I love your writing and this wonderful story 🥺 I really hope you have a wonderful day/night and that your thesis is going well, love u! Take care! 💜💜💜

Ps: I’m still not over Tae’s insta video, I’m down awfully bad for him jakajsjksjsjsksjsk

-Shy anon

I missed Tete so much too :( their love is so sweet and honest and it hurts me so much because they are so freaking cute together :(( HONESTLY THE SMUT HAUNTS ME IT WAS SO HOT YET EMOTIONAL I AM GOING INSANE AGDJ

I think is so sweet that Tae tells oc that he can help Kook with his training, right away no doubt or resentment 🥺

yess!! omfg I agree so much 😔 also it just show how genuinely good hearted Tae is, like koo hurt him but instead of resenting him he offers his help. I am so in love with Tae 😔

Yoongi’s letter and how terribly sad and painful it is to read about him writing a goodbye letter to his princess, pouring all his feelings for her on the paper while crying and feeling like absolute shit with himself while doing it, nope I’m not gonna think about that and specially not thinking about him signing his letter with Yoongi Boongi, nope I’m out OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭

Also please never apologize, spam me with as many messages you want to!! I genuinely love talking to you my sweets!! 🥺💜💜

ALSO YOUR PS IS A MOOD I REWATCHED IT LIKE FIVE TIMES TODAY AND I AM IN LOVE 🥴🥴