#and they stick em in a room that looks like maybe a public bathroom?

[feralthembo]

Hour long edm sets on youtube my beloved

[turtle-steverogers]

she is very long so. enjoy😌

- Steve n Bucky going to the bodega down the street from their apartment. it’s open till like 4am and they go at all hours. sometimes they’ll go separately but they always go together when they go in between 12-4 am and no one who works there questions why

- they get a cat that they treat her like their child. it’s Alpine ofc😌 steve loves her so much but he knows it’s Bucky’s Cat and he’s fine with it

- you know how some siblings or partners or friends can communicate with their eyes and basically have telepathy? they totally have that and it annoys the shit out of every single person they meetjdksndks. someone will be talking to them and they will just make eye contact with each other bc it reminded them of an earlier convo they had or they both got annoyed by the other person or it reminds them of an inside joke or something and it just irritates EVERYONE. no one is able to intercept it and it’s just a thing that no matter what - even though they don’t mean to - you’ll feel a little left out when you’re with steveandbucky. it just comes with the gig. i like to imagine that depending on if it’s an au or not, its either really obvious or not. like in an au then yes it’s obvious they can have non verbal conversations, but if it’s not an au then it’s not entirely obvious bc they’re enhanced humans and they know how to hide their secret conversations. but everyone they talk to is essentially an enhanced human or has special abilities so it’s obvious to them and they catch them in the act LOL. if they’re interacting with regular people then it’s not very obvious though

- DATE NIGHT!!! yes they’re old yes they have date night. when they go out it’s usually to places in their neighborhood, but a lot of the time they like to stay in bc. they’re old men <3 steve is better at cooking and bucky is better at baking bc you can get creative with cooking and steve likes that more. he enjoys baking a lot too but he thinks bucky’s stuff tastes better. whenever they stay home though there’s ALWAYS a movie. always. they alternate choosing but there is always a movie to watch. bucky usually falls asleep nearing the end and steve plays with his hair😌 he rolls his eyes cause it happens every time but he actually likes when it happens bc he can braid strands of hair together

- pet names oh my god. so many pet names. every single one. mainly from bucky. steve uses them but maybe like two. he favors sweetie and buck and that’s it really. sometimes he uses hon. bucky though oh my god. every single pet name under the sun. so many variations of doll you wouldn’t believe - baby doll ofc, dolly, stevie doll. sweetheart. sweetness. blondie. pretty boy. hot stuff. stevie. baby. hon. honey. sunshine. angel. it’s just so many. and it’s like very sickening insane twisted etc but hot at the same time. most people are like jeez barnes do you ever shut up… but most of these people secretly think it’s a little hot theyre thinking damn where is that affection for me…. i need me a bucky barnes :| steve is the only smitten kitten outwardly even if he huffs and puffs sometimes but it’s obvious he enjoys it. like they are so annoyingjdkssn for real they aren’t a pda couple really but the petnames….. so many. so so so many it’s sickeningly sweet but bucky dgaf! steve is his sweetheart his dolly his baby his angel so he’s going to call him these things!

- steve knows his body is what is considered “perfect” but he still is insecure about it around most people and bucky knows this so when steve lounges at home in bucky’s boxer briefs and his own tee shirt or he kicks off his pants when he’s too hot at night in bed bucky is reminded of just how much steve loves him and feels comfortable around him which is something he always strives for - to make steve comfortable. not baby him because steve bitches at anyone that does that to him but to make him feel comfortable

- and on the subject of feeling comfortable i imagine that they always check in with one another but it’s very subconscious they hardly realize they do it. like steve will bitch at bucky to pick up his shoes from their doorway or to clean his hair from the shower drain but the next second he will ask him if his back still hurts from being kicked by sam and from where steve AND alpine scratched him (in very different ways)

- steve is the sweater husband and bucky is the sweatshirt husband. they trade off a lot but that’s just how their closets look

- steve takes a liking to crop tops 😌 but ONLY around the house bc again he’s really truly only comfortable around bucky. he wears em with boxer briefs or sweatpants but you can guarantee that the briefs and sweats usually just end up on the floor 9 out of 10 times

- hair ties everywhere. they can be found on the floor in the laundry in their bed in the couch on top of the fridge on their fire escape. they are literally everywhere. steve just picks them up and puts them in the bathroom but they always make their way back. he doesn’t say anything to bucky until he finds alpine chewing one and she ends up smacking herself in the face with the hairtie

- their fridge is always full with leftovers and food from sam or clint’s or whoever’s house or takeout. they always eat it all but they get and make a lot of food so the fridge is always full

- subconsciously bucky always has a hand on the back of steve’s neck. like it’s not ENTIRELY a possessive thing but he used to do it a lot when steve was small because it was easy and it was comfortable. for him and just for him and steve. it was like swinging an arm around steve’s shoulders or putting a hand on his shoulder. it was just natural and easy so he did it. a part of him back then prewar did it possessively too, but he always tampered that down bc steve wasn’t his. now he does it without shame

- steve really likes tofu and vegan meat, non dairy milk like almond and soy, and overall a lot of non dairy vegan foods, and a lot of fruits. he gets made fun of for a lot specifically about the vegan stuff but his reasoning is that there’s so much food accessible for people with allergies in the future that he wished existed a hundred years ago so he’s going to try it and stick with it if he likes it. people shut up after that

- he also tips a little more than he needs to everywhere he goes. everywhere. like it’s cool when steve rogers walks in to a restaurant bc he’s a superhero or whatever but its REALLY cool because he leaves a generous tip and that’s what really makes peoples day

- before they get legally married they are still very much married. like “i packed you lunch, meet me at the restaurant instead of me going to pick you up bc it’ll take longer, i got takeout let’s bitch together while we watch shitty reality tv, let’s bitch at EACH OTHER through the phone in public, let’s send each other ugly pictures of each other or funny texts while we’re right next to each other, i’m out with a group and you’re not there and i say multiple times ‘i miss steve/bucky’, let’s yell at each other from opposite ends of the apartment instead of getting up to see each other, steve i’m going to fuck you on the couch bc our room is too far, etc.” they are just very much married without the documents and legalities and it’s very obvious

okay all of these were ABSOLUTELY wonderful and im really going to restrain my urge to respond to each and every one but that might be futile

-okay YES they definitely go to that bodega at all hours, and usually it's for normal things when they go separately: milk, cereal, toilet paper. but when they go in the middle of the night, they almost always purchase some like odd assortment of candies and deli meat. also, they're always in their pajamas. like bucky's in plaid pj pants and a star wars sweatshirt, and steve is in like 5" shorts and a huge crewneck and they're both in slides and they definitely only speak russian to each other when they're in there after hours

-yes alpine! they also have a dog, that is more steve than bucky's!! his name is norman in my headcanon (and a couple of my fics) and he is best boy

-okay i need more of this in my general stucky life: steve and bucky being like,,, best friends as well as lovers and being so seamlessly close. like yeah, they definitely talk with their eyes, or just one glance, or half-sentences ("hey, did you ever get to--" "yup, on the way home. it was so--" "yeah, good. glad to hear") and they know exactly what the other is saying.

-yes to the date nights!!! and when they stay in to watch movies, they make Tons of popcorn. and they Have to make separate batches, because steve will Only eat his with like half a bottle of that powdered white cheddar on his

-YES we share the same fucking headcanon for petnames on god

Steve: love you, buck:)

Bucky: love you, pumpkin

-Steve definitely has body dysmorphia, probably even post serum (I have lots of thoughts on this, that might be a different post) and yeah, Bucky definitely knows its Big that he feels comfortable enough to be exposed around him (and he's even more honored that steve lets him be intimate with him, because that's really hard for steve, too)

-yeah! and easy check ins like "ur stomach still bothering you from last night?" "oh, no it was just a little bug turns out" or like "my head hurts:(" "i have meds in my bag. you want?" "yeah, just two" or like subtly checking on injuries, yeah

-yeah the sweater versus sweatshirt tracks tbh i picture steve in a lot of crewnecks so yeah

-STEVE IN CROP TOPS STEVE IN CROP TOPS and i raise you they're often ones he's cropped himself and he's also painted on! or bleach painted!! and theyre so cool and bucky never wants to make a big deal out of it, but he's so proud of steve for expressing himself like that

-ALPINE SMACKING HERSELF ALKFJALSDKFJA also steve always has a hairtie on HIS wrist in case bucky forgets one for himself

-they also always have Steve Staple Foods cuz i headcanon steve as a picky eater (adhd!steve + serum enhancements, it's down to a formula) so they have a lot of Kraft mac and cheese and easy heat up meals and lunch meats around for when he's having bad food days

-OMG and steve absolutely MELTS i raise you, too, bucky will especially hold the back of his neck when he needs to get steve to Chill Out. so like if he sees him stressing he'll put his hand on the back of his neck and squeeze and literally feel the tension drain from him or like if steve is having a panic attack, he'll hold the back of his neck while they breathe together

-yes and also any time that steve is Choosing food for himself and feeling motivated to eat it, it's a win, so people learn to back off there, too

-yes! he tips generously, but never awkwardly or offensively. he's also super kind and patient to food service workers!

-this last point is so perfect i cant. like yeah, back to steve and bucky just being,,,, the best of friends. ugly selfies galore, shoving their feet in each other's face, flicking each others ears. and yes, all the fucking gossiping. on the phone gossip, venting, fun gossip from around work. they talk about it all. and it's so great for them

thank you again for stopping by! your thoughts are impeccable!

[vilaneiie]

No Going Back | Emily Sonnett

first imagine done, lmao hope u guys enjoy!

warnings: a little steamy but nothing nsfw, swearing.

word count: 2,318

You wouldn’t consider you and the blonde in front of you friends. Because you weren’t. But at this point - the late nights talking, the late night walks, the late night occasional sleepovers had to be called something.

In all honesty you couldn’t stand each other. You’d both find something about each other to be annoyed by but it would never get in the way of what you guys had.

“Hey” Emily said for what felt like the fifth time.

Right - she was your roommate. That’s what you guys are. That’s the label you can put on it: Camp roomies.

The girl's attempts at snapping you out of your thoughts finally worked, “what?” you snap back.

She laughs at your tone knowing you didn’t mean it, “what are you doing tonight?” she asks curiously.

You look at her as if she asked the stupidest question, “it’s camp. sleeping probably?”

Emily lets out a sarcastic chuckle, “boring lets do something” she says making an effort to wiggle her eyebrows

You slip back into thinking about how this was like a routine for you two. You’d both find a way to sneak away and do something together. Just the two of you. It may sound suspicious but you both thought it wasn’t.

Starting to get annoyed at nothing really, you lock your phone, “I’m going to Tobin’s room.”

                                        ⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

“Heads!” You hear but not quick enough, courtesy of the ball that just hit your head.

“What the fuck?!” you let out already having been annoyed and exhausted from the strenuous training session the team had just endured.

“Sorry...” the culprit, Emily says sheepishly in your direction knowing the amount of shit she’ll get from you for this.

Your reputation as the team's asshole, as much as you hate to admit, did proceed you.

“Watch were you’re fucking going Emily” you say, tone laced with venom and not even bothering to look at her.

“More like the ball” a guilty Emily jokes trying to ease up your attitude.

You were about to snark something back but before you could

“Y/N! Take it easy” you look to find Christen Press who had just overheard your conversation. “She’s being annoying, no” you say, sticking your tongue out to show you’re not actually that mad.

“Come kick it with me” Emily offers hoping it equals an apology.

“So you can hit me again?”

“I- will you stop arguing everything I say?”

You give up and get up, snatching the ball from her hand using your other to untie the sweater around her waist for good measure. You try to ignore the fact she froze when your hand touched her as if she panicked but before you could put in more thought you run away with a devious smile on your face.

“So what’s up with you?” the blonde asks now that you’re away from the team.

You guys did this a lot. Never really talking while around the team. You’re both not sure why, part of you thinks it’s because you’re more comfortable with her than anyone else. You’d never admit that out loud though. Neither would she.

“Nothing” you huff our trying to move on.

She takes the hint and you guys continue kicking the ball back and forth for a while, talking about random things like the next friendly, the weather, the fact that Emily’s sister has a boyfriend.

It’s domestic.

“You still wanna do something?” you ask starting to open up to the idea of socialising.

You watch Emily pause, a smile plastering her face, “duh.”

You smile hesitantly trying to hide the bigger one that was trying to break through.

“Okay.”

                                                   ⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

“Bar or restaurant?” your roommate sticks her head out from the bathroom.

You raise your eyebrows jokingly, “is this a date?”

She laughs, “I’m not paying for you.”

You’re half way through applying some makeup before a knock fills the room, replacing the “god awful music” as you call it for a brief moment. You can't ignore the dread that feels you knowing that there’s a chance that whoever is behind the door would tag along tonight.

Making your way to the door you prep yourself as you swing the door open, relief when you see it’s only Jill.

“Hey..?” you drag out thinking that you could be in trouble.

“Hi girls, I’m going around reminding everybody that we have an excursion tomorrow, and the bus leaves at 7 am.”

Emily chuckles, “you couldn’t have just emailed us that?”

Jill smiles, “I couldn’t figure it out.”

You join in the laughter and say your goodbyes, closing the door and sighing out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

“You good?” Emily asks, noticing your behaviour.

“Yeah.”

“And Emily?”

“Yeah?”

You smirk a little, “bar.. 100% bar.”

                                         ⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Making your way out of the hotel with ease, you and Emily stand outside waiting for an uber.

“I should have brought a fucking jacket” she says, rubbing her bare arms in attempt to get warm.

You raise an eyebrow, “I literally told you too.”

A few passerby’s overhead what you were saying and giggled at the two of you bicker over the weather.

Emily noticed it but you didn’t. Emily thought about how they probably think that you two were a couple. She pushed it down though.

Finally seeing the uber has arrived you both climb in, and she tells the driver where the two of you are going. You’re pretty sure it’s a dive bar called O’Malley’s but it didn’t bother you both since getting wasted wasn’t the plan.

Boy were you wrong.

4 shots, who knows how many beers and 3 games of pool later it’s pretty safe to say you two were in fact wasted. You had no idea how it happened, you weren’t much of a drinker. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the bar, how boring it was since it was you and Emily plus a few frequent flyers.

You’ve been sneakily touching each other all night. Whether it be hands, hips or legs you both feel empty without the presence of each other. You blame it on the alcohol, while she tells herself it’s nothing.

“I love this song!” Emily slurs in your ear, having no real reason to be that close other than the fact of the bar seats.

You giggle at her excitement, “and?” you ask knowing what’s about to come next.

She hops down from the stool and grabs your arm, “we’re gonna dance, obviously!”

You two spend probably about 10 minutes making fools out of yourselves dancing to classic late 90’s songs while continuing to fill your blood with cheap tasting beer.

The beat of the song that plays gets slower and so do you. Coming closer like magnets you hook your arms around her neck, pretending it’s innocent.

Finding your ear once again Emily whispers, “if you wanted to dance like this you could have just asked” wanting you to know that she’s been wanting to do this for a while.

You almost forget how to breathe before pulling her in closer. Suddenly feeling like you need to touch her. Need to have her closer.

The song picks up as you too continue, to what looks like everyone else grinding on each other. You two call it friendly.

She twirls you around playfully following the beat. Yeah this certifies it. You really can’t breathe. It doesn’t stop you though, pushing yourself back into her.

You know what you’re starting to feel but you can’t stop. It’s like you're stuck together. Her hands make their way down to your waist, the same place you had yours today.

“Y/N” she sort of sighs out.

This is all it takes, the way her voice sounded desperate is what makes you turn back around and smash your lips against hers. She takes a second to react but kisses you back wanting this just as much as you do. It’s fast, it's rushed and it’s hungry. As if you’ve been waiting for this your entire life.

You have.

She has too.

Suddenly remembering that you’re in public you laugh into the kiss before hesitantly pulling away, feeling the temperature rise 100 degrees.

“I’m going to the bathroom!” you yell over the music. Not really sure on what to do next.

Much to Emily’s dismay she internally agrees. Suddenly feels a little too sober now with your presence gone.

Becoming anxious as to what you’re doing she follows you into the dingy bathroom. She shouldn’t have expected a nice one.

“Y/N” she calls out, not wanting to yell just in case there’s someone else there.

Rounding the corner she sees you sitting on the dirty bathroom counter, you both not knowing what to say.

“You okay?” she asks you, it slowly becomes a pattern.

“Are you?” you ask back.

“Asked you first.”

“Come here” you ask her

She pauses for a second, frowning her eyebrows before walking closer to you. More specifically she puts her body in between your legs.

“Hi” you whisper now that she can hear you.

Emily’s not sure what’s about to happen.

“Hi.”

“We’re drunk right?”

“Right.”

“Good” is all you say before leaning in.

                                        ⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

The alarm you forgot you set is what wakes you up, but the sleeping body next to you is what gets you up.

You sit up before remembering last night's events which slows your beating heart.

Looking over to Emily, you’re not sure what’s going through your head. A few thoughts of regrets pass through your head before you tell yourself it’s not really regret. You smirk at yourself remembering what went down stuck in your own bubble before also remembering that you had the alarm the night before for a reason.

The bus leaves at 7:00 am.

It’s 6:50 am.

You’re pretty sure yesterday you thought that since you naturally wake at 6:00 am ish each day the alarm was just a warning.

Shaking Emily you almost get distracted but the adrenaline cuts it off.

“Emily!” you croak out.

The worried sounding “Em!” is what wakes her up.

“Yeah?” she groans sleepily before getting hit by her has to be her jeans.

“The bus leaves in 10 fucking minutes.”

“What? Bus?” she sits up trying to gather her thoughts which her pounding headache is blocking.

You don’t have time to explain before going into the bathroom, hearing a “oh” from the bed knowing that she just figured it out.

“I can't find my pants” you say.

She tries to help you while getting dressed herself but fails, “here just take these” she tells you holding her shorts out with her number on it.

“Emily,” you say, coking your head to get your point across.

“It’s fine” she says rubbing her sleepy eye, “we’re roommates, roommates get their clothes mixed up all the time.”

You were gonna make a Tobin and Christen joke but opt against it once the feeling of anxiety about missing the bus refills you.

“What do we even need to bring” she asks, finally dressed.

“I don’t fucking know” you say panicked.

She grabs you as you walk past.

“Hey” Emily says softly, getting your attention.

“It’s fine, we’re fine. They’ll wait for us. Just grab sneakers, maybe a jacket and I’ll get a backpack.”

Her attempts to calm you down work. So easily. Normally once you feel anxious nothing can ever stop that but she just did.

Focusing on your task you finally feel a little better seeing how it’s now 6:55 am and you’re somewhat ready.

Grabbing sunglasses from the bathroom knowing you’ll need them you look back at Emily who still looks half asleep.

Smiling at yourself, it drops from your face when you see yourself in the mirror.

More specifically our neck.

“Fuck” you mumble under your breath.

Not having time to put makeup over it you grab your concealer, chuck your hoodie on and make your way to the door.

She could tell by the way you’re fixing your hood that it’s so cover something.

“Sorry” she tells you, trying to hide a smile.

“Fuck you” you say half joking half genuine.

“Yeah you did” she hits back quickly.

Before you could even scold her a loud banging at your door makes you both jump.

Since Emily is the closest she answers it, “yeah yeah we’re coming!” she says opening the door to reveal Rose and Mal.

You all greet each other, before the girls in front of you yell at the both of you for being this late.

“They’re going to kill us, let's go.”

Practically jogging through the lobby you both finally make it to the bus, offering an apology to Jill and a few others who're waiting outside for you girls.

Knowing that you’ll be sitting with your bus buddy you make the way down the aisle, searching for Tobin.

The smile on her face tells you 1 of 2 things. Either she knows or she just finds it amusing that you, out of all people were late.

Sitting down in your seat you let out a slow breath trying to calm down your stomach and head.

“Shut up” you tell her, feeling as if she was about to say something

You just get comfortable as you hear your phone ding. Not being bothered to get it from your bag you look at Tobin, silently asking her to get it for you.

“What did you do last night?” she asks teasingly.

She retrieves your phone, furrowing her eyebrows at the number on your shorts that caught her eye when she was coming back up.

She bites her lips to stop a laugh forming before handing you your phone.

When you answer whoever that was texting you, you lean back into the surprisingly comfy bus seat.

Tobin matches you, leaning over with a wide smile.

“I know what you d-i-i-d” she singsongs

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Natasha/Andrei brainrot we’re really in it now, aka Natasha/Andrei playlist annotations!

Honestly the age gap is so inherently uncomfortable it’s difficult for me to really ship this but I think in terms of the REALLY low bar of W&P marriages/almost-marriages, it’s one of the better ones because they at least mutually care about each other. It’s also just devastating on principle!

There are several distinct sections of song on here, this is one of the few I’ve actually put in a significant order, so I’m going to break it down into that.

Part 1: Initial Meeting/Falling In Love The First Time/General

Absolutely Smitten - dodie

“She wants to dance around the room, kiss you until her lips turn blue”

This song really reminds me of their first meeting when they’re both like 👀 at each other. I like how it captures the excitement but also nerves of the girl, which I feel like is an important feature of Natasha’s part of the relationship.

Helpless - Philippa Soo

“Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom”

Sorry to all the ex-Hamilton stans I jumpscared with this, but it’s about the Philippa Soo Singing About Falling In Love vibe. Also the quoted lyric reminds me of their iconic dance scene, or at least the bits leading up to that.

To Noise Making (Sing) - Hozier

“Honey, the look of it was as sweet as the sound; Your head tilt back, your funny mouth to the clouds”

This reminds me of the scene where she sings for him and he’s like WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH im in love! I paraphrase, but you get the idea.

Golden Years - David Bowie

“Look at that sky, life's begun”

This is objectively the stupidest song on here. It’s here because I think it’s funny to imagine the iconic Natasha/Andrei dance just being the Golden Years dance from A Knight’s Tale, HOWEVER the quoted lyric is in fact Andreicore.

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You - The Arctic Monkeys

“And I know we got places to go, we got people to see/Think we both oughta put 'em on hold”

‘Wren there are several songs that are on this playlist AND your Andrei/Pierre playlist’ Thank you for noticing it’s because if Tolstoy can recycle the same lines of dialogue for these relationships I can recycle the same songs! This song is just. I Hate Everyone Except You :) which is deeply Andrei @ both of them. But also like wanting life to stop so you can just hang out with Your People.

Strawberry Blond - Mitski

“I love everybody because I love you”

I’m pretty sure someone once pointed out how this lyric fit Andrei/Natasha once in a post and I cannot for the life of me remember who but that made an impression on me. Mystery person, thanks <3 Also I forgot this was a Mitski song??

The Anchor - Bastille

“Bring me some hope by wandering into my mind”

One of Thee things about their relationship that sticks out to me is how Natasha is so lifelike and her very existence gives Andrei hope for the world. It’s so. It’s so much!

Something After All - Starry

“You’ve turned my world around”

Like I said above, falling in love with Natasha really changes Andrei’s entire worldview! I also think “I've spent years building up walls” is very Andrei, and Natasha kind of brought them down, like what happens in the song.

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

“A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes”

IT’S ABOUT THE SPACE METAPHORS FOR LOVE. THIS IS NO ONE ELSE FROM GREAT COMET’S FAULT.

Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel

“I know I am a cold cold man: quite slow to pay you compliments or public displayed affections”

It’s about being generally not very emotional or expressive but being devoted to the person anyway...very Andrei-ish.

Ophelia - The Lumineers

“I don't feel nothing at all and you can't feel nothing small”

The quoted lyric just seems like a really good summary of their dynamic, but I also think “Heaven help a fool who falls in love” works well for bitter post-elopement vibes, so this song was difficult to place.

Part 2: Andrei Leaving For Abroad

Misbehavin’ - Pentatonix

For some reason this is on both the Nat/Andrei and Natasha playlists and I’m too lazy to change it. Just go look at those annotations.

No One Else - Great Comet

Duh

To a Poet - First Aid Kit

“I got on a plane and flew far away from you, though unwillingly I left”

This song makes me think of Andrei abroad missing Natasha :( Honey you’ve got a big storm coming

Part 3: Post-Elopement Breakup Songs

I Hope Your Husband Dies - Amigo The Devil

“All the distance that we've spent apart will never have to mean a thing”

This song is VERY much Andrei about Anatole. “Now you're with this asshole, you expect me to believe it's going to last” really works because her relationship with Anatole was never going to last, whether or not she knew that. And “I'm not so much afraid of being alone, just kind of feel I've had enough/And time and time again, time reminds me you'll never be my own/We'll never have a house to decorate, a place that we can call our home” as an Andrei thing makes me very sad!!!

Ruins - First Aid Kit

“Ruins, all the things we built assured that they would last”

I think you can safely say their relationship was in ruins after the elopement attempt. I also think “I lost you, didn't I? First I think I lost myself” is something Natasha would think about the whole scenario

Half of My Heart - John Mayer

“Half of my heart's got the right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you with half of my heart”

I think this is supposed to be more of an “I don’t love you anymore and that’s on me” song, but I like to mentally frame it in the context of Andrei after the elopement refusing to take back Natasha. I also think all the bits about the singer’s love interest changing the singer’s outlook on life before really fits, like “Lonely was the song I sang 'til the day you came, showing me another way”

Love Like Ghosts - Lord Huron

“You don't want me baby please don't lie/Oh but if you're leaving, I gotta know why”

It’s all about the singer being haunted by a love that doesn’t necessarily reciprocate on the same level, and I think that really fits Andrei’s mindset. It breaks my heart to think about him trying to figure out what he did wrong, why he wasn’t enough for Natasha, and so that quoted lyric really makes me just. :(

Cold Day In Heaven - Delta Rae

“Keep thinking bout when we started, so innocent/Your heart was a mess and I was lost in it”

This whole song is so good for them, it’s essentially just a couple being disappointed that their relationship didn’t work out well. The quoted lyric is so. AAAAHHH. because both of their hearts were messes but for different reasons, Andrei was so hopeless and bleak but Natasha was so naive and not ready for it and it’s so. It’s so Much. Also “We watched, the stars fell, and oh you know we let them/We said it’ll never happen, we said it’ll never happen to us/But it’s a cold day in heaven my love” gets me because 1) star/sky references :( and 2) Natasha especially did say it’d never happen to them, she was adamant that she’d love Andrei forever and that uh. I think we all know how well that worked out!

2 Months. - Zach Adkins

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

“I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug”

This is kind of a generic betrayal/breakup/I-miss-you song, but I think it works. Especially with “I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain” and the focus on the singer’s lover getting them through difficult times and then abandoning them.

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

“Take me back to the night we met”

I think people are legally obligated to have this song on any playlist for a couple that doesn’t end well. It’s generic but it’s good! The entire Strange Trails album my BELOVED!

Careless Whisper - George Michael

“I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste a chance that I'd been given, so I'm never gonna dance again the way I danced with you”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. I think it’s the focus on dancing as like a significant marker of the relationship for me, especially given how heavily adaptations focus on their dance at that ball. The quoted lyric reminds me of Natasha’s mindset after all of this. Also “We could have been so good together, we could have lived this dance forever, but now, who's gonna dance with me? Please stay” reminds me of Natasha asking him to forgive her. Not to actually get sad over Careless Whisper but. :,(

With Or Without You - U2

“And you give yourself away”

The quoted lyric is in reference to the elopement in my head, and “I can’t live with or without you” is like. Andrei can’t continue on and let her back into his life, he admits that he can’t forgive her, but he also has no real will to live after she betrays him and goes off to die in war.

Atlantis - Seafret

“We've built this town on shaky ground”

“This town” is in reference to their relationship, and I like the acknowledgment that there was never a great foundation to begin with. And “maybe I’m not built for love” as an Andrei lyric is a little heartbreaking! Other than that it’s just a Breakup Song.

I Don’t Wanna See You Cryin’ Anymore - Adam Melchor

“I don't wanna be the reason you can't trust me like before/My head's in my hands as I'm shaking on the bathroom floor”

This reminds me of Natasha’s deep guilt over her betrayal of Andrei. The implication that Andrei would ever let anyone see him cry is a bit much for me, just ignore that HFJAHDHSH

Part 4: Reconciling While Andrei ✨Dies✨

Fake It - Bastille

“We can never go back, we can only do our best to recreate”

This whole is song is about trying to move forward from bad things in the past with your lover which is the whole vibe! But I also think it shows some reluctance on the part of the singer to forget, and a bit of a desperation to be able to leave the mistakes in the past. “Help me turn a blind eye” really captures that. I like this as the early stages of them reconnecting, because I think it’s realistic to have Andrei especially be wary but wanting it to get better.

Bad Blood - Bastille

“All this bad blood here, won’t you let it dry?”

Letting go of a grudge and trying to move on vibes!

Let It All Go - Birdy, Alvaro Soler

“We’re strong enough to let it go”

All their hurt surrounding the elopement is the Thing they’re letting go of in this case.

Flaws - Bastille

“You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve and I have always buried them deep beneath the ground”

The quoted lyric just feels like their general dynamic to me. Natasha is so open about everything and does indeed wear her heart on her sleeve whereas Andrei represses every emotion he’s ever felt. I think this is a post-elopement song because of “Dig them up; let’s finish what we started”. That feels like them reexamining their relationship and what went wrong and trying again.

Moscow - Autoheart

“All I need’s a fraction of your happy heart”

This song is so 🥺. “We both know what we’ve got to do: head back to where the magic grew” reminds me of them accepting their reconnection and moving on and trying to rekindle whatever was between them. And “Let’s get a dog, an Irish red setter, it’s all we need to get better” feels emblematic of them looking forward to domestic happiness as the solution. And the quoted lyric screams Andrei about Natasha.

The Heart Is A Muscle - Gang of Youths

“I will look at love as more than just an instrument of pain”

Not to be off topic but this whole album is so good every single song makes me feel SHRIMP EMOTIONS god. Also the whole thing is very Andreicore and I had to stop myself from adding every song to his playlist. But I digress. This song is all about having been hurt by love in the past (“I let bad love betray me once”) but deciding to open your heart again which is very them! “I haven't had enough and I wanna love someone” AAAAHHHH. “I am human now and terrified, but want it all the same” Mr. GangOfYouths im going INSANE! “I just ask you to be patient if you’ll have me still” HELLO? Not to quote the whole song but “I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again, so tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul again” as an Andrei/Natasha lyric...I need to sit down. Can you all tell this song makes me go all kinds of crazy. And this isn’t even my favorite song off the album!

Shrike - Hozier

“I couldn’t utter my love when it counted, ah but I’m flying like a bird to you now”

This song feels very “we tried to have a relationship a while ago and it didn’t work out that well but I still love you we could try again” to me which fits this time very well!

Part 5: Andrei Goes Splat :( [And The Aftermath]

Work Song - Hozier

“No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”

I can’t say what it is exactly, but something about persistent love framed around the death motif works for me here.

Dancing After Death - Matt Maeson

“As the sun waits to eclipse and the taste teases my lips, I'm too tired to wrestle with it”

The quoted lyric reminds me of Andrei giving up and shutting down when he realizes he’s gonna die :( oh ALSO my brain always mentally fills in “and no one else” after the “you and I” that ends the chorus which does NOT help with my depression!

One Last Time - Jaymes Young

“Could I feel your skin on mine before I have to say goodbye?”

SCREAMS SO LOUDLY. The whole song is like. Someone dying and wanting to see their person one last time and AAAAAAAAAAA. I am a little incoherent maybe. “I'm leavin' this cold world of mine, no pleadin' is gonna turn back time” really Gets Me in the context of Andrei accepting his own death and withdrawing and it’s so. Anyway.

Oblivion - Bastille

“When oblivion is calling out your name, you always take it further than I ever can”

I don’t think this is exactly what the song is talking about, but the quoted lyric in the context of Andrei dying and Natasha watching him fade and withdraw...good Lord. I need emotional support.

Haunt - Bastille

“I’ll come back to haunt you/Memories will taunt you”

Natasha being haunted by the memory of Andrei!!! Help me!!!! Also “I will try to love you/It’s not like I’m above you” as a callback to Andrei’s feelings for Natasha when they start to reconnect is so mental illness inducing. OOOH and “Questioning why as you look to the sky that is cloudless up above our heads and thoughts come to mind that our short little lives haven't left the path that they will tread” any lyric ever about looking at the sky is Andrei’s now.

Without You - for KING & COUNTRY

“What do you do when you don't get better/Strong arms get too, get too weak to hold her”

:( :( :( :( :( Also “I’m not ready to live without you” I am so sad.

Good Grief - Bastille

“Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more”

Pain! Agony, even!

I made myself SO sad writing the entire last half of these annotations geez

[mercurryblack]

Chapter 7: Lillian

The team gets ready for their respective dates... or lack thereof.

❃❃❃

“Ugh. We get a night off, and I’m stuck with an essay.”

Though the crime scene investigation had been a drag, in Cait’s opinion, their current situation sucked even more. They hungered for something exciting to happen— hell, a pissed-off Onikuma could crash through their door right then and there, and it would be a pleasant reprieve from the drudgery of a Grimm Studies report. Fighting was always preferable over writing.

Who cared about the variations in Grimm anatomy and physiology based on their habitat, anyway? One looked like an elephant, one looked like a wooly mammoth.

Either way, Cait had set themselves up for a boring night in, and was left silent and grouchy.

“How are you guys planning to spend your day-offs?” Hattie asked the Armilde twins as she slumped back against her pillow. Her small tophat remained firmly on her head, still lopsided.

Silently, Cait tried and failed to recount the last time they’d ever seen her without it.

“I have a charity event to go to,” Amaryllis replied, adjusting a clip-on silver earring onto her right earlobe.

“Oooh, that sounds exciting!” Hattie said, sitting up. “Can I come? Can I come?” 

“Sure! More people there means more funds for the cause. Plus, it’s public, so everyone in Mistral’s pretty much automatically invited.” Amaryllis paused, looking at her Scroll. “…You do still have that nice blue dress of yours from the dance, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Hattie replied.

Amaryllis nodded. “You might want to consider throwing that on, since it’s a kinda formal event, but otherwise you’re welcome to tag along.”

“Yay!” Hattie squealed, clapping her hands. “Thank you, Ammy! You going with anyone else?”

“Hector Wulfric. The event’s organized by his family, actually.” Amaryllis answered. A smile crept onto her face while she planned how she was going to spend the evening with her boyfriend. 

“Oh.” Hattie said, immediately deflating. “In that case, never mind. I don’t wanna play third wheel.” She took a seat again on the end of her bed. “How about Lilly? What’s she gonna do tonight?”

Lillian wasn’t there to answer. She’d been in the bathroom for a good half hour, brushing her teeth to a complete and almost blinding white.

“She’s going on a date with… what was it, sweet guns? No, wait, she called her tha— Oh, I remember. Sweet buns.” Amaryllis recounted, barely stifling a giggle.

“Who now? Is she that same girl Lillian mentioned yesterday?” Hattie asked in the same moment as Lillian emerged from the bathroom.

“Hush, you.” Lillian said, having overheard them. “For the millionth time, Am, her name is Rosario— and yes, Hattie, she’s the same one I mentioned last night.” She explained.

“Remind me how it went, again? Was it, ‘I got a couple of “sweet buns” right here, and they’ve already got your name on ‘em.’” Amaryllis put her hands firmly on her rear and swung her butt in a circle. She wiggled repetitively, mocking a tease she had observed from Rosario.

Lillian turned to give Amaryllis an especially evil glare. “You know what, Am? You’re a pain in my ass.”

“Yeah, okay.” Amaryllis adopted a placating tone, though the mischievous glint in her eye remained. “But am I a pain in your sweet bu—?” She began, continuing her gluteal choreography.

With a snarl, Lillian grabbed one of Amaryllis’ good leather boots from the floor and hurled it at her sister. It collided with the top of the redhead’s cranium, and she let out a strangled yelp.

“Ow, ow, ow...” Rubbing the top of her head, Amaryllis snapped back, “I swear to god, Lilly, if you messed up my hair…”

Hattie giggled in the background, though she lacked context on exactly what Amaryllis was making fun about— something about sweet buns, but that was all she could make out. Her stomach growled at the thought of the tasty pastry.

“Okay, okay, it’s time to stop. Both of you had your laughs.” Lillian said, as she grabbed her drawstring bag and threw it over her shoulder. “And sorry, Hattie, but I got no extra room tonight. As roaringly as I think you two would get along, I think it’s about time I spend some alone time with my girlfriend.” She coughed.

“Mmm.” Hattie mumbled in response. Though downtrodden by the absence of her teammates for the night, she knew that it was neither of their responsibilities to take her along with them— after all, they still had their private lives. “…Lillian?”

“Yes?” Lillian asked, straightening her cropped hoodie around her midriff.

“Your girlfriend’s the same one with the pastry shop, isn’t she?” Hattie asked.

“Same one.”

Hattie puffed her lips out. “Will you bring back some pastries when you’re done with your date, pleeeease?”

“Sure, I think that could be arranged.” Lillian laughed. “Okay, I should be on my way by now— I don’t want to keep Rosa waiting.”

Amaryllis “I’m going as well— I’ve still got to pick up my dress.” She turned to Hattie and Cait for a moment. “Oh, and you two eat some dinner later, okay? Hattie, if you really have nothing else to do, it’d be really nice of you to help Cait finish their paper. Afterward, maybe you two can come down to the charity ball.” She said invitingly.

Hattie’s eyes lit up again. “Hey, maybe we could! What do you think, Cait?”

Cait didn’t make any effort to face the twins, instead opting to wave a hand to them while facing the window. “Yeah.” They replied listlessly.

“…Okay then. We’ll see you later.” With that, Lillian and Amaryllis turned and exited the dorm room.

***

As Amaryllis and Lillian walked through Haven’s low-lit and empty dormitory halls, they continued to talk about each other’s plans for the evening.

“So... where are you taking Rosario?” Amaryllis inquired in an innocent tone.

“We’re heading down to the cliffs. I heard there are some nice spots over there for a late picnic.” Lillian answered flatly, looking straight ahead without breaking her stride.

“Cliffs. How very romantic.” Amaryllis drawled.

“Yeah, yeah. How about you and Hector, got anything hot and heavy planned for tonight? I heard something about you picking up a dress. I smell something fishy here.” Lillian turned to face Amaryllis, wiggling an eyebrow.

“Ew, don’t even go there. This outfit is for tonight’s event, and tonight’s event only. I’ll change clothes after I go to the salon to get my hair and face done up, and I gotta hit that first since it’s already getting pretty late.” Amaryllis hesitated. “And as far as I know, the only thing that’ll be getting hot tonight is my face from nervousness. Hector said his dad’s going to be there, and he wants me to meet him.”

“Heh. I know the feeling.” Lillian chuckled.

She knew full well that her sister had never met Hector’s family before— both her and the Wulfric lad had seemed secretive about the whole relationship, though they had been dating for well over a year by now. She also was versed in the experience of having to meet a special someone’s family for the first time, and a sweaty face didn’t even start to describe it.

Honestly, it felt more like a jolt of terror up the spine, followed by the sensation of one’s stomach falling right into their feet.

“Don’t worry, Am. They’ll love you.” Lillian reassured her sister. Smirking, she continued, “Just don’t tell them that the reason their beloved son is head-over-heels for you is because of those lumps of fat glued to the front of your ribcage.”

Amaryllis flushed red, crossing her arms over her chest. “Oh, shut up. I’ll have you know that Hector loves all the fat in my body, regardless of its exact location.”

“Yeah?” Lillian retorted. “Tell that to the two loves of his life: peanut butter and jelly.” She teased as she pointed her thumb at Amaryllis’ chest. “…Or was it butter, and I can’t believe it’s not butter?”

“Please. His nicknames for my breasts are much more creative than that.” Amaryllis countered.

A pause.

“So you admit that he has nicknames for them, huh?”

Blushing a brighter shade of red, Amaryllis huffed and walked as fast as she could, overtaking Lillian. She was becoming increasingly annoyed with her sister, not because of what she was saying, but because she had no good retorts up her sleeve to retaliate with.

“Bye, sis. Have fun with your boob fetishist of a boyfriend.” Lillian waved, a guileless smirk plastered on her face.

“You have a nice date too… sweet buns fetishist!” For one last time, Amaryllis turned around to face Lillian and performed the corresponding taunt.

Turning around, she nearly walked right into a green-haired, pink-eyed girl with a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth, who had obviously been witness to her previous action. Unmoving, she apparently appeared to still be processing it.

After a moment’s pause, the girl blinked, snorted a small laugh and grinned. “Yeah, Sweet buns, all right.” She cracked, holding the toothbrush out of her mouth to speak.

Hiding her face with her arm from embarrassment, Amaryllis ran past the girl and out the entrance of the dormitory. Lillian and the girl watched with amusement as she fled.

“Hey.” The girl said, turning back to face Lillian.

“Hey.” Lillian replied, sparing a second’s eye contact as she walked past. She vaguely recognized her as one of the first-years.

With that brief acknowledgement, they both continued on their separate ways, in opposite directions along the hall.

[ossa-otiosi]

Alternative containers for jar spells!☄️

I love jar spells just as much as the next guy! They're a great place for baby witches to start and they're helluva customisable- any size, shape, or ingredients you want. Not to mention they look cool as hell! But sometimes a jar just doesn't quite...work.

Maybe you just don't have a suitable one kicking around. Maybe you're in the broom closet, and a jar full of witchy ingredients would be too recognisably 'witchy' if it was found. Maybe you wanna carry it around with you, without ending up with broken glass in your bag. (Not a fun time).

Whatever your reasons, I got you covered!

💋Lip product containers💋

These would be discreet and perfect to carry in a purse or in your pocket! They're well suited to spell jars to ease verbal communication, for 'sweet talking' or persausiveness, or to help with clamming up in front of crowds and the like! Lip gloss or lipstick would also suit a glamour nicely.

💄 Chapstick in particular is an easy one. Just pull out the part that had the product on it, et voila! You might want to take the screw part out too, or you could just work around it.

💄 Once a lipsticks run out, you can pretty much do the same thing as you would with a Chapstick!

💄 The lip balm that comes in little pots is even easier to work with! Just wash it out once it's empty and fill it up with your ingredients.

📝Stationery📝

These are among my favourite diy containers! They're perfect for spell jars to boost your creativity or to prevent artblock, as well as being good for manifestation. (Drawing is kinda the same as manifesting something, right?)

✏️ Container sharpeners are an obvious choice! Just take off the lid, pop the ingredients in, and gum up the sharp part with something so nothing falls out. Candlewax would be a good choice, especially if you wanna seal it with a candle like most jars.

✏️ Spent markers and highlighters are a little fiddly, but fun! You can take the nib parts with ink in them out of the end(s), then pull the 'guts' of it out with tweezers. Save the nibs, but you dont need to keep the inside part around. Then you can fill the empty casing up with your ingredients, and pop the end and nib back on to make it just look like an ordinary pen again!

✏️ The empty pots from paint testers are another good one to use, and ballpoint pens are easy to get a hold of and hollow out!

✏️ The color of the pen/marker/paint could be matched to your intent, too!

📷Photo film containers📷

Okay, so this one is probably only practical if you're into photography. But if you use a camera with film and have a few of em laying around, they make cute spell jars! These are useful for creativity and manifestation, again, but would also suit spell jars for aiding with memory, or for spells to make something stick around. Or you could make one for helping all your pictures turn out well!

📸 Just pop the ingredients in the container, no extra steps needed! I'm personally a fan of drawing a sigil on the lid or on the side.

💅Makeup containers💅

I know I already covered lip products, but all sorts of makeup containers would make good spell jars once they're used up! Mascara containers, concealer sticks, and nail polish bottles are among the most useful in my opinion, but you could really use anything. They're particularly suited to glamours and the like.

🖌️ For any containers that have an applicator/brush in them, like mascara or nail polish, you might wanna consider taking it to get some more room.

🖌️ It gives you a good excuse to keep that empty container with a really cute pattern on it! You could match the colors or types of the makeup to your intent.

🖌️ All of them are useful for glamours, but you can get more specific for other intents! You could use mascara for a spell designed to help you 'see', like ones that aid in finding things or being perceptive, for example.

🍬Sweet containers🍬

These are particularly suited for spell jars to 'sweeten' something! The only example that comes to mind while I'm writing this is tic-tacs, but anything that comes in a relatively sturdy container like a tub or box would be good!

🍭 Just like matching colors to intent, you could match flavors! Mint could be good for cleansing or awakeness, cinnamon for strength or wealth, etc.

🚿Hygiene products🚿

These would be great for health, vitality, or cleansing spell jars! Empty hand sanitizer bottles or soap containers would work great for this.

💧This one's a little specific, but I've seen little gumball machine type things in public bathrooms that dispense little chewable...toothbrush things? They look like this-

And the containers from them would be great for these!

⭐Lockets⭐

Okay, so maybe these are veering a little out of spell jar territory. But lockets are amazing for any sort of spell that needs a container! They can be for any intent, they're super discreet, and you don't even need to carry them or worry so much about losing them.

💍 Most lockets are pretty small, so you obviously cant fit *loads* in there. But if you have some tiny crystal chips, they work great! Those, along with tiny amounts of dried herbs and single petals from dried flowers, all work great for little locket spell jars.

💍 Lockets normally have a place to put a photo in, and you can use that for a sigil to suit your intent! Or if you work with any dieties or other entities, you could put an image of them in there, if they're involved in your spellwork!

These would be great spell jar containers for health and vitality. Make sure you wont confuse these for your actual medicine! I know it'd be pretty hard to mix up the contents of a spell jar with your allergy meds, but still. 😅

💍 Any other jewellery with some kind of compartment would work too. I've seen rings which are basically tiny little lockets, which would also work great! You could even wear them on certain fingers to suit different intents. (I remember reading somewhere about each finger having different associations, but I cant find it. I remember the pinky finger being Mercury, though...?)

💚Medicine containers💚

💊 You could try matching a medications purpose to an intent, too. For example, a spell jar to help ease depression in a bottle that previously had depression medication in it, or a spell to keep away unpleasant things in a painkiller bottle.

💊 While we're on the topic- remember to take your meds today if you haven't! And always remember that magic is not a substitute for going to the doctor if you need it.

All of these have their own associations to me, but theres nothing stopping you from using them for any intent- if you wanna make a spell for good health in a camera film canister, noones stopping you. I'm sure theres a million other containers I'm forgetting about, but these are the ones I personally find the most interesting or useful. I hope this has been of help!

Good luck and godspeed to you all! 💛

[srprincess]

Remember Fictober? I know it’s December now, and October seems a year away but I’m still here! Updating slowly!

Prompt 19 “Yes, I admit it, you were right.”

Check Please Spookydoo fic Chapter 14 (14?!?)

There was a buzz of conversation in the kitchen. Right up until Will and Nursey walked back into it. Then it was replaced by sudden silence and eyes glued down at phones, or whatever else is handy. In Holster’s case a calendar, two years out of date, that Will never got around to replacing or removing from its spot by the doorway. His lighthouse was December, and he figured he was entitled to keep it up.

“Real subtle,” Nursey said before dropping to a mock whisper directed at Will. ”They think we don't know they've been talking about us this whole time.”

Will choked back a snort of laughter.

 After an exchange of somewhat guilty looks, Chowder was the first one who braved breaking the silence, “All right again?”

“Uh, yeah. About that,” embarrassed, Will rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous habit, one he’d never managed to shake. ”I’m sorry for blowing up on you guys. That was - not good. At all. So, yeah. Sorry.”

They tried to assure him it was fine, but he knew better and told them as much. “You guys can't help that you pushed too hard, when I never let on that I was that upset. If I had said, I don’t know, it might have been different. But I didn't and that's on me.”

“That may be so, but we need to do better too,” Bitty said before pushing a plate full of crumble at him.

Will’s mouth quirks, ”I feel like we've fallen into this cycle where you shove food at me, I tell you that you didn't have to-”

”And then you sit and eat it anyhow. Glad you've caught up to the program. Now sit, eat.” Bitty says, sticking the fork in and stepping back.

”Only on the condition that we drop the ’who’s more sorry than who’ contest.”

”And if I don't agree and take back your dessert?”

”All I have to do is-” Will smirked and held the plate over his head, out of Bitty’s reach. Pretty pleased with himself, he did not expect the quick hip check and nearly dropped the plate, allowing Bitty to easily grab hold of it again.

Calls of ’Niiiiice!’ ’Check that out!’ and ’Get it Bits!’ came from the others.

”You were saying?” asked a, justifiably smug, Bitty.

”I’m sorry, you're sorry, everyone is sorry. Can I have my dessert back, please and thank you?” Will answered, holding his hands out hopefully.

Bitty handed the plate back. ”Figure we’re about even now, agreed?”

Will nodded his agreement and dug in on his cobbler before it could be taken away again.

 He only managed a couple bites before Jack stood and spoke up, ”I have to say, we do owe you one more apology.”

”Sweetpea, he just said-"

“No Bits, I’ve been thinking about it. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the whole story that we’re chasing - and this is a great story - but we forget these are actual people and that’s not right. Look what we've been doing here.” Jack motioned to the rest of his friends sprawled out around the kitchen and dining area. ”Here we sit in his home, where we practically pushed our way in. We’re digging through his family, questioning him about his friends. Uninvited,” Will tried to interrupt, but Jack carried on like he had a set speech in his head and nothing was going to stop him. ”He couldn't be more of a private person. Lives out here alone, practically on the edge of the country. We were literally told to leave him be. And here we are anyway. Over something that happened long before he was even born. It's one thing when we choose public life, but even then - think if someone came to ours poking around,” Jack visibly shuddered at the thought, ”I don’t even want to think about it. But you know that a little yelling and a door slam would just be the start. What we have done is worse than that, because he never made that choice.” Jack turned back to Will, ”Barging in here and putting demands on you was wrong, and I am - no, we are - very sorry for how we have acted and how we upset you.”  

After a pause - because what was he supposed to say to all of that? - Will went with a, very true, observation. ”I think that’s the most words I’ve heard you say yet.”

”That’s it? That’s your takeaway? You don't want to tell us off or to leave, or- ” Jack replied, seeming surprised.

”Ayuh, that and I’m still sorry. I should have said it was bothering me instead of letting it all build up bigger than it was and then blowing. And you're wrong. You might have showed up on your own, but I did both invite you in and offer to help. Yelling and storming off? That’s no way to be.” He’d been told off for his temper often enough over the years that he didn't have to think too hard before the echo of lectures past came back to him. He thought maybe it had gotten better but that night showed him it might have had more to do with the lack of other people to rage at than personal growth.

Jack seemed mostly relieved, but, ”-you aren’t going to ask anything else?”

Will, unsure where Jack was going with the question, replayed the, for lack of a better word, speech through in his head. ”The public life thing?” Jack nodded, and so he asked, ”I mean, I guess - Should I know you?”

Jack frowned, “I don’t want to say it like that, sounds, ugh.”

Holster pointed out, ”I'm pretty sure that's the kind of question you would have to punch yourself in the face for answering yes to.”

“Yeah, would have to ask Shitty, but I think it's in the revised bylaws,” Ransom added.

“Well, in any case, if you wanted me to know you’d tell me so I don’t see where it matters. You want privacy and if there’s anyone that should know to respect that, it’s me. So, there we go.” Will told Jack, letting him off the hook. Pointing at his plate, he asked, “Now can I enjoy the rest of this?”

 After that everyone settled, and conversation went back to what seemed to be normal. Mix of random chitchat and plans for the rest of the trip. It was comfortable, the house seeming more lived in than it had for ages. Will couldn't help but think, not for the first time, how quiet it was going to be when they left. He’d gotten used to this so quickly and, even with the hiccups, thought he would be sorry to see it end.

Almost on cue, Farmer yawned and said “We should probably be headed out here soon. Getting late.”

“You aren’t waiting for the others?” Will asked.

”Shitty and Lardo?”

He nodded, ”Unless you have any other spare friends hiding around here somewhere.”

”Not that we brought with us!” Chowder helpfully - maybe even cheerfully? - answered. “They checked in while you two were, um, out. They’re camping for the night. Said they’d see us for breakfast.”

“Oh alright then. Did you still want to meet up tomorrow afternoon?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ransom told him. ”That’ll give us time to check on a few things. I saved a sat image from Maps and circled your neighbor’s place.  The realtor isn’t open until 10 am according to their site, but once they are I'm going to send that in and see what they can tell me.”

”Okay, and Nurse and I are headed to the cottage first daylight. I'm sure I’ll be back here long before you guys are done.”

“First light?” Derek asked mournfully.

“First light-ish.” Will compromised.

“First light plus time for leftover pizza and two coffees?”

“Fine, but clean off the counters set the pot up now.”

”This is practically domestic,”  came a whisper from somewhere in the direction on the table. Will wasn't sure from who exactly, because he was distracted by the clear up. Once the others started gathering their things, he moved on to hooking some of his lights up to their respective chargers and checking batteries in the rest. He left the borrowed vests and coats in a pile by the back closet for Future Will to deal with. He might like things relatively tidy, but he was no saint and it had been a night.

 Just as Will was finishing that up, he heard Jack calling from the front door to ask if everyone was ready.

”Not quite,” Bitty told him. “Nursey still needs his shoes and coat.”

”Uh, actually...I’m staying. Dex asked.”

Will peeked around the corner just in time to see Bitty’s eyebrows hit his hairline, and - was that a blush dusting Nursey’s cheeks? Hard to say from that far away, but he let himself think that maybe he wasn't entirely off the mark then with those looks he thought he saw? Interesting. Something to think about. Something to obsess over and probably a reason kick himself when remembering fast he backtracked when he asked him over earlier.

Even straining his ears, he couldn't hear what Bitty said next, but Nursey told him ”Oh my God, just go,” and pushed him out the door, laughing.

“What was that about?” Will asked, after joining him at the door and sliding the lock.

“You don’t even want to know,” Nursey told him. “You tired yet?”

“I know I should be, and I’ll regret this come morning but...Not really?”

“Same. I could stand some cleaning up though. About those clothes you said I could borrow-”

“Oh yeah, let me just go and grab them.“

 Nursey followed him down the hall to his room. After a quick dig through the drawers, Will handed over another worn in t-shirt and a pair of flannel plants.

Nursey held up the shirt, ”Are you sure I didn't return those clothes?”

”Yep.”

“I only ask, because I would swear this is the same one you loaned me last time.”

”Promise. The shirts were on sale, and I liked ’em well enough I bought a stack.”

”You bought a stack. A stack of shirts. Identical?” Will nodded, and Nursey shook his head. ”You buy your clothes by the pile. That is - I don't even know, ” he laughed. “It's either the funniest or saddest thing I've ever heard, and I'm not sure which.”

Annoyed, Will tried, too slowly, to grab the shirt back, “If you're too good for my shirts-”

“Chill, it's just chirpin’,” Nursey told him, already headed to the bathroom across the hall.

Will suspected chirping was actually code for trying to piss him off, but let it go anyway.  No point in shouting at a door. He grabbed his own change of clothes, another pair of flannel pants and yes another matching shirt. He thought about grabbing a different one, but these were already broken in and comfortable, damn it.

By the time he was done with his own shower, Nursey had already finished and was back in the living room checking out his shelves. He looked, very deliberately at Will’s shirt and his damn eyes practically sparkled with the laugh he was holding in.

”Don’t even,” Will warned him.

Nursey bit his lip and held up his hands, false image of innocence. ”I wasn't - I said nothing!”

”And you said it loudly. Pick a movie or something. They're in the drawers,” Will pointed below the bookshelves. “I’m going to make some popcorn.”

“How can you still be hungry?”

“I'm not, really, but you can't have movies without popcorn. You don't have to have any.”

When he came back with the bowl Nursey was still flipping through the DVDs.

”You haven't found anything yet?” Will asked him.

“There's too many choices!”

Okay, maybe that was fair. He did have a pretty extensive collection, covering nearly every genre. ”No cable out here, and it’s not like I’m about to put a dish on the lighthouse ya know. Just pick anything.”

”Anything? You sure?”

”Why not? I said your choice, and I like it all or I wouldn’t have it.”

Nursey held up an old Disney DVD that Will had forgotten he owned as if daring him to shoot it down. He shrugged to say why not and popped it in the player. Lilo and Stitch was a solid choice, and who didn't like a cartoon at the end of a rough day?

 To spite his earlier protest, Nursey must have actually wanted the popcorn, Will thought to himself. He'd ignored the entire rest of the long couch to flop nearly into Will’s lap after he’d tucked himself into his usual corner and grabbed a large handful out of the bowl. Will could have sworn he felt eyes on him a few times, but each time he looked up Nursey was either watching the screen or down at the bowl so he figured he must be imagining things. Like how he thought he was going to grab his hand when he was actually digging for the perfect buttered piece of popcorn. Totally his imagination. Yeah.

After both the popcorn and the movie were halfway to finished Will decided Nursey had also been lying about not being tired. With a smile, he grabbed his phone off the side table and snapped a selfie featuring the man currently sleeping on his shoulder, mouth open and tiny bit of drool about to drip onto his own shirt. He told himself he was saving it because it would be good for some ’chirping’ of his own later. Right. Why else? So what if it was a decent picture of himself too. And proof he’d associated with another person.

He turned down the volume on the tv and pulled up a mindless game on his phone, settled in to kill a little more time. He didn't want to disturb Nursey, and it wasn't like he was ready to go to sleep yet anyway. He had trouble falling asleep most nights as it was, and he didn't think his mind was going to quit spinning any time soon. Between game levels, he switched over to his browser and stared at the screen. Very determinedly NOT googling the man sleeping on him, because - why again? Oh yeah, that would be weird. Even if he was apparently some sort of author with at least one other famous friend. It would be beyond awkward if Nursey were to wake up and see him snooping. And the whole privacy thing. Not bullshit, an actual legitimate reason to leave it alone. That’s what he told himself anyway, as he resisted temptation and switched to a different game and started playing.

After about the 1000th round, Will finally dropped the phone and joined Nursey in sleep.

 A weight settled over Will and pulled him back awake. At first he thought it was Nursey, but no. Too light for that. He wasn't sure how long he’d been out, but it was still dark out. From the side of the couch he heard a whispered ”This is so cute” and his eyes snapped wide open. Before he could shout, his ’neighbor’ put her fingers to her lips and hushed him.

”Hi.” she whispered, nervous.

”You. Lou. Hi.” Smooth. Real smooth Will. He mentally slapped himself. At least he’d remembered her name this time. He looked down to check if Nursey had woken, but he was still out cold, now covered in the same blanket he was. That must have been what woke him. He looked back up and just stared at her, for the first time catching a flicker.

”So...I guess you know now, huh?”

”It’s true?” he asked, mindful to keep his voice down.

She nodded, ”Depending on what exactly you think you know...mostly, at least.”

”Were you ever going to tell me?”

”How mad would you be if I said no?” She caught his look, ”Never mind, look who I’m asking. Of course you're upset. You know, at first I thought you knew. You kept trying to steer the tourists away all those years.”

”That's because-”

She waved him off, “I figured it out. You just really don't like outsiders. Or people in general. Most of them, in any case. Seems this handsome stranger is an exception though. Second time keeping company in as many days, if I'm not mistaken.”

Will blushed.

”Could it be that making friends wasn't the worst thing in the world?”

“What do you want me to say? Yes, I admit it, you were right. This hasn't been entirely awful.”

And it wasn't. Except for feeling like he somehow lost his friend, even if she was standing right there. And questioning what he knew about - well, everything. That had been awful.

”About, umm,” he felt ridiculous even saying it, but he had to ask, “ghosts. Not you, but-”

”Not to change the subject?” she countered.

”No, absolutely to change the subject. But I also want to know. Need to know really. Are there others or is it just you?”

”There’s others.”

”Here?” Will looked around the room. Thought of his parents and other family long gone. Were they still here? If they were, why hadn't he ever seen them?

She picked up on his meaning, ”Not here here. Some echos.”

“What’s an echo?” Will asked.

She took a moment to think before answering, “I think of an echo as a shadow of a person. They aren’t there, but the feelings left behind are. Occasionally you can see things they often did repeatedly replayed. Like your great grandfather walking the deck. He’s not there, but can still be seen sometimes.”  

That explained some interesting calls he gotten during his few ventures out of town. “Anyone from when you-” Will struggled with how to ask what he wanted tactfully.

”When I died? I don’t think so. If so, I’ve not seen them. And I’ve looked.”

Will thought about her concern for him being lonely and started to understand it better. ”I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Not everyone stays, and that's better honestly. And I don't know how long-” she stopped to take a breath that Will was now sure she didn't need. Must have been a habit left over from before.

”I've been pushing things and it’s getting tougher to hold on. That storm? That's been happening more and more when I try to force being present too hard. I’m the oldest I know of and I'm not sure but I think my-” Her entire self flickered, and Will sure as hell rubbed his eyes at that, then she muttered, ”Not again. This is why I've got to go. Too much at once and I lose the grip. I'll try to be back, on my word.”

”But wait-” Will started, but it was too late. She was gone. Unfortunately, he was too loud, and Nursey woke up.

 ”Did you say something?” Nursey asked, voice scratchy with sleep.

Will wasn't sure if he should say anything about his visitor. After all, what if he had imagined the whole thing. Wishful thinking, though who would wish for a cut off unhelpful conversation, he didn't know, but still. ”Umm maybe? I don't know.” he answered vaguely.

Nursey squinted his eyes ”You don’t know?”

”Do you always repeat other people?” Will deflected.

”Do you always say weird shit?”

”Maybe I talk in my sleep.”

”Do you?”

”How am I supposed to know? Who’s gonna tell me? Anyway, we should go to bed. Our beds I mean. Separately. So I won't disturb you in case of future talking.”

”I would talk about this more, but I'm still tired.” Nursey pulled himself to his feet and then offered Will a hand up. ”Remind me to interrogate you further in the morning.”

”Of course.” Will lied, hoping he'd forget the whole strange exchange.

Before leaving the room, Will took a good look at the blanket on the couch. If he needed any more proof she was really there, that would be it. The blanket in question was a quilt his mom had sewn for him. He knew for a fact the last time he saw it was when he packed it away in a box of things he couldn't deal with looking at right after the accident. A box that was shoved deep into his parents’ closet before he locked the room. He knew he hadn't opened it up, and who else could have gotten in?

Still, he kept quiet. Even after talking to her, it wasn't like he had anything helpful to tell the rest of them. It was more personal, he reasoned.

 Will paused in the doorway when he showed Nursey to his room. He didn't even realize they were holding hands until it was time to let go. He wanted to say something, and it looked like Nursey did too, but instead, after an awkward moment that hopefully felt longer than it actually was, they both just said goodnight and headed to their own beds.  

[yeosanqtuary]

gentle breeze - pt.2

♡ - list of chapters

"seonghwa. park seonghwa,"

the male now turned his head to look at hongjoong. more like, glare at hongjoong. he gulped a little and nodded. "i-i hope we get along well, haha," he awkwardly smiled, slowly retracting his gaze back to his lap.

now that he has seen him in person, the rumors really look part believable. anyway, hongjoong didn't really care. he'd like to see what seonghwa can do to him.

fifth period ended, and hongjoong made his way to the office to get his luggage before heading to the dorm. he packed up his things ad was about to leave, but he was stopped.

it was seonghwa, pulling his hand.

"... yes?"

"see you at the dorm," seonghwa said, looking, or rather, glaring into hongjoong's eyes. that was all he said before he let go of his hand and left hongjoong in the almost empty classroom.

"uh, okay?" hongjoong reacted, raising his brow. was something going to happen to him later? was this a threaten?

--

hongjoong was finally at the dorm, after having a lengthy chat with the friendly office lady. he fished out his keys and was about to stick it into the keyhole, when the door opened. it was seonghwa.

"oh, hey seonghwa," hongjoong greeted, and seonghwa returned it with a nod. he moved aside for hongjoong to enter with his luggage, and closed the door after.

hongjoong looked around the dorm. it was a simple room. it had a bunk bed, two study tables and a balcony, with a basin, washing machine and a drying rack. the bedsheets were very straight, and blankets neatly folded. seonghwa's study table had many books, but were all stacked up neatly. a grey laptop sat on his clean tabletop. well, in a nutshell, the dorm was clean, too clean for a guy's dorm. hongjoong liked it very much, he was satisfied. it was good to have a roommate this organised.

he started unpacking his stuff, making the dorm look more lively with his little pots of plants and small figurines. he even hung up photos of him and his old friends.

it was 4pm when he finished unpacking. hongjoong collapsed on the bed, responding to messages from his parents and old friends. he had totally forgotten about seonghwa's existence at this point.

a while later, he gathered all his toiletries and headed to the public bathroom to take a shower. it sucked how the dorms didn't have their own toilets, but it was better, since they didn't have to clean them anyways.

he was about to open the door, when seonghwa suddenly stood beside him, reaching out to open it instead. it surprised hongjoong a little.

"o-oh hey seonghwa. going for a shower too?" hongjoong asked, and seonghwa nodded without looking at him.

the two of them awkwardly walked side by side, neither of them speaking.

there wasn't much people in the public bathroom at this time, which was good. hongjoong washed up quickly and packed his toiletries, getting ready to return to the dorm. and yes, he forgot about seonghwa once again. if seonghwa was really like what the rumours say, then hongjoong ought to be dead meat by now.

lucky for seonghwa, he finished faster than hongjoong and was already waiting for him outside the bathroom. when he came out, seonghwa just fell into step with hongjoong, not uttering a word and again surprising him.

after the two had another awkward and silent walk back, they decided to go for dinner together. it sure had attracted many people's attention, which hongjoong disliked. he so badly wanted to walk separate ways with seonghwa. or maybe dig a hole and jump inside.

"woah, look, it's the newbie and seonghwa! why're they together?"

"that's his new roommate! poor guy, i pity him so much. he's gonna hate his high school life,"

"oh man, if seonghwa wasn't so weird, then i'd be wooing him everyday! such a waste,"

all these comments made hongjoong's head hurt. i'll show the whole school population that i won't be bullied! i'll be the new seonghwa if i have to.

soon, they got their food and found a nice, quiet and shady corner below a tree with a gentle breeze blowing. it was currently the end of summer, and the heat had died down.

they sat awkwardly across from each other, and ate their food in awkward silence. seonghwa was eating an oyakodon, while hongjoong had his heart set on a katsu don. he loved japanese cuisine a lot.

"so... how're you?" it was way too awkward. hongjoong had to start a conversation. not a good one, obviously.

"fine,"

"what's your homeroom class?"

"2-3,"

"oh cool. i'm in 2-5,"

"..."

"can i drop by with some snacks sometime?"

"...okay,"

and the conversation ended. they were at the end of their dishes anyway, just nice. hongjoong heaved a sigh of relief. he didn't wanna do this anymore. it was so awkward it hurts. at this point, he didn't really care about him and seonghwa's friendship. i'll just let him be... i guess.

--

back in the dorm, the two started doing their homework. again, silence. hongjoong didn't really like silence, it was suffocating. so he decided to talk to seonghwa. whatever happened to letting seonghwa be?

"seonghwa,"

he looked up from his books, turning to face hongjoong.

"can you help me with math?" of course. now he was going to think hongjoong was an idiot for not knowing how to do a simple question.

"okay," surprisingly, he agreed without hesitating. he even went over to hongjoong's desk. like agreed, he helped him with the entire 5-part question. this must be the first time he had spoken so much in a month.

silence fell over the room again. hongjoong decided to plug in his earphones, when someone knocked on the door.

seonghwa went over to open the door immediately.

"o-oh, h-hey seonghwa! err, we're here for hongjoong!" it was yunho. behind him was mingi and yeosang.

"that'd be me! i'll be out for a moment then," hongjoong rose up from his seat. ah, finally. some noise. he bid goodbye to seonghwa, which he nodded in response.

when hongjoong was out of the door, yeosang quickly dragged him away to another floor, and into another dorm, A223. seems like it was yeosang's dorm.

"wow! i've never spoken to seonghwa face-to-face!" yunho exclaimed, placing a hand on his chest.

"i've also never heard him speak so much! wow!" yeosang exclaimed too, and copied yunho's actions.

"gasp! is this some kind of preparation for hongjoong before he crushed him? o-em-gee!" mingi squealed like a high school girl(boy).

this dramatic trio. hongjoong rolled his eyes. "well, i don't know. i decided to just let him be,"

"i sure hope nothing happens to you! you can transfer to my dorm anytime. always welcome for you," yeosang offered, also throwing in a yawn at the end of the sentence. "i'm so tired,"

"yeah, old man. you're always tired. it's only 7pm," yunho rolled his eyes.

"let's go get dinner. wanna come with, hongjoong?" mingi offered, heading towards the door.

"no thanks, i've already eaten,"

"what the heck? so we just walked a long way here to exchange a few sentences?" yeosang complained. it was because his dorm was located at the very end of the corridor, which was quite a distance away from the stairs.

"yeah, we didn't want anyone hearing in on us," mingi deadpanned, "up to you if you wanna stay. let's go, yunho,"

"you're all so mean!"

--

hongjoong returned to the dorm to find seonghwa sound asleep on his study table.

"oh, he must've been bored," hongjoong thought out loud, "wait, he's always been alone. what do i mean,"

he carefully picked up seonghwa in his arms, and carried him to his bed, since he couldn't possibly reach the top bunk with his height.

right before hongjoong walked away, he was stopped by seonghwa, who had grabbed bed his wrist.

"d-don't go..."

next ->

[softforcal]

I just read both your poly!5sos and Cal pregnancy and my heart has melted 😭💕 and since I've been in an Ashton mood for the past week can you do one for him please?

ASHTON X PREGNANT READER (bonus proposal)

(Cal) (Luke) (Poly) (Michael)

-((((Also side note: i wasn’t going to post today but its @irwinkitten‘s birthday tomorrow (in a few hours her time) and i adore her so i wanted to kick off her birthday with something soft to show how much she means to me. Love you Laura. now fucking die hoe. )))

-this boy wants babies

-lots of em

-the two of you have been together for over a year and it’s definitely something you’ve talked about

-but he’s really busy with Youngblood and other stuff so it never really gets to be the right time

-you’re on tour with him and there’s about a month left and you’re having EXTREME baby fever because there are adorable children everywhere in the city you’re in

-like. an unusual amount of children

-or maybe you’re just noticing because it’s something thats on your mind

-regardless. your heart is soft as fuck.

-Ash is getting ready to go on stage and he notices you’re being kinda weird, “what’s up babe?” he asks

-”thinking about kids.” you sigh

-he stops what he’s doing and looks at you

-”oh yeah?”

-”yeah. i mean. your tour’s almost over and�� i mean… if we wanted to start building a family… now might be a good time.” you shrug, “but no pressure, i mean you still have your career to think about-” he cuts you off with a kiss

-”we’ll talk about this when the show’s over, i promise.” he says, kissing your forehead before going to join the boys and go on stage

-you watch the show and surprisingly, getting pregnant isnt huge on your mind. it doesn’t really worry you. you know it’s something Ashton wants and now that you want it, you have no doubt that it will work out.

-the show ends and you wait in a back room for Ashton

-he comes off stage and is all sweaty and gorgeous and he just grabs you, “where are we going?” you ask as he pulls you towards a back dressing room, closing the door and locking it

-he kisses you, “you said you want a baby right?”

-”yeah?”

-”so stop asking questions and let daddy work.”

-’daddy’ has always used in the bedroom but OOF having baby fever while hearing it is wild

-Ashton always goes hard and this is no different

-you’ve never really done breeding kink before or really talked about pregnancy during sex and all of the sudden Ashton is like “you want me to fill you up Princess?” “going to pump a fucking baby into you.” and he’s going DEEP AF because like… better for making babies right?

-there’s probably not any real logic to that but whatever fam

-he hitting those spots is all i’m saying

-you both finish and he just stays inside of your for a bit, kissing you and being super soft

-but unlike other times with condoms, now there’s a bit of a mess (its the fucking worst) so he helps clean you up and is still super soft about it

-going back to the hotel you’re staying at for the night and he’s already down to go again

-once in the bedroom, then in the shower, then in the bedroom again, and then again in the shower and by the time you get to the bedroom again you’re like ‘please let me sleep’ and he just laughs and pulls you to his chest

-cuddling and talking about baby names

-talking about starting a family

-he’s been ready for a while but was waiting for you because it was obvious he was always down

-talking about whether you want a baby girl or boy first

-talking about how many kids you want

-just fully having an idea of the life you both want together

-you continue on tour and you have a general idea of when you’re period should come

-two weeks of really great sex all the time

-being in so many different cities and countries because you’re at the end of tour that days just start whipping by and then one day Ashton tosses you a pregnancy test because THIS GUY has a period app on his phone for you because he’s THAT FUCKING BOYFRIEND.

-”why do you have a period app for me?” “so i know when i have to go buy you chocolate. do you think i just magically have chocolate every time you get a craving?”

-what a sweetheart

-so you’re in a hotel for the night and you go pee on the stick and wait

-Ashton orders room service so that no matter what, you have comfort food to eat after the results

-”i’m afraid to look.” you groan. oddly enough he is too.

-so he calls Calum and is like “you need to get over here.” so Calum shows up and is like “what the fuck do you two animals want?” and Ashton is like “go look in the bathroom.”

-and Calum is hesitant as fuck, “if there’s a dead body in there? i hope you know Best Friend is just a song.” but he reluctantly goes inside, “did you pee on this?!” he calls back.

-”is she pregnant or not mate?!” Ashton yells.

-”yeah. she pregnant.” Calum states.

-Ashton immediately hugs you tight and after a few moments another pair of arms goes around you and Ashton and Calum is just like, “this makes me the godfather right?” “yes but don’t tell Michael. he’s going to be pissed.”

-”so… you can go now Cal.” “fuck, right, sorry.”

-once he’s gone you and Ashton just kiss and cuddle and are super fucking happy

-a few minutes later there’s knocking at your door. its Luke and Michael and they’re both like “i knew you two were fucking ever more often than normal!” “why didn’t you tell us you were trying to get pregnant!?”

-”a lots been going on mate.” Ashton shrugs. and it’s true. they’ve been really busy. besides, neither of you wanted to get your hopes up about it because for some couples it takes a long time to get pregnant

-so Luke and Michael hang out for a bit, Calum stops by to apologize for immediately throwing you two under the bus and telling Michael and Luke and then he goes, “you’ll forgive me, i’m the godfather.” and Michael freaks out

-Ashton ushering them all out of the room for alone time with you

-of course cuddling leads to sex

-he’s being a bit more gentle and you moan “daddy” and he just stops. pulls out and sits down with his head in his hands like “you can’t call me that anymore.” and he’s so distraught about it

-can you imagine. like. one of his main kinks. just out the door. because now it has to actually be used because he’s going to be a dad

-you rub at his shoulders and are just like… “sir?”

-yup that gets him going again with a laugh

-i mean, it’s nothing compared to ‘daddy’ but it will have to do

-the tour continues and it’s the second last show and as it ends, the boys are like “we have one last song for you.” and they start singing you and Ashton’s couple song and he straight up proposes to you on stage

-”i wanted to do this at the last concert but that’s Michael’s birthday so i didn’t think i could do him dirty like that,” Ashton teases as he gets down on a knee, “will you marry me?”

-of course you say yes

-its really sweet and cute and the fandom is shooketh

-they have their last concert and then everyone heads back to LA

-your first day back, Ashton is already planning the baby room because he’s so excited

-he’s just running around and he’s so cute getting worried about sharp corners and stuff like that and it’s just like “Ashton. we have time. i’m not even showing yet.”

-he’s just so excited to be getting married to you AND having a baby

-cuddles that calm him down but he gets excited and starts planning again

-having a small engagement party and announcing to close family and friends that you’re also pregnant

-so, everyone knows you’re engaged because of his very public proposal but Ashton decides to make a post for his insta to officially celebrate, he chooses a picture of you drinking a sparkling drink at your engagement party, ring showing

-he writes a long ass post about finding the love of his life and starting a new chapter and how excited he is, but he also states something along the lines of “and don’t worry, the drink is non alcoholic ;)”

-like the doesn’t explicitly state you’re pregnant but of course there would only be one fucking reason you can’t drink anymore

-the fandom is once more: shook

-now that you’re back in LA he has a lot of time to spend with you when he’s not working on the new album

-and he is an absolute spoiler

-like, as soon as you have any craving for food, he’s getting it for you

-because “you’re eating for two now Sweetheart.”

-going to your ultrasound and you decide to not know the gender of the baby (tbh, i do this every time because i wanna leave it up to the reader;)

-but the baby is strong and healthy and Ashton has tears in his eyes

-your bump begins to show and he adores it so much because “that’s my baby in there.” “our baby.” “nope, pretty sure i’m the only parent here.”

-what a teasing fuck

-he’s way softer with sex though, that would be for sure

-lots more cockwarming

-he straight up talks to the baby while he’s inside you and it’s like… “Ashton what the fuck.”

-”fuck, we can’t swear anymore. shit. i’m going to be such a bad fucking father.”

-assuring him that he’ll be a great dad

-he would totally hire someone to make the baby room perfect. i just see him as the guy that wants everything 10/10

-as it gets closer to your due date he religiously baby proofs the entire house

-he has the hospital on speed dial

-as its coming down to your due date this boy can’t sleep

-like. he is super stressed out and excited

-the boys being there for you two because this is a BIG deal

-he would adore cuddling next to your stomach and talking to the baby

-tapping gently on your stomach to show drum beats

-Ashton doesn’t even want you to leave the house without him incase somehow you get in trouble or need him and he’s not there

-can you imagine being a bit of a rebellious girlfriend and going for a walk while he’s still asleep and your water breaks so you call him and he’s like “Y/N, what the fuck, where are you?” and you’re just like “yeah… so i went for a walk and i’m fine, but like…. my water broke.” and he’s just like “fucking classic. of fucking course this would happen.”

-he comes and picks you up from wherever you are (probably like a block away from the house or some shit because classic) and he looks like shit cuz he’s exhausted and in a hoodie and sweats but he still managed to grab the hospital bag for the birth

-part of him wants to drive with both hands on the wheel to be safe

-but part of him wants to hold your hand so you can squeeze it while you have contractions

-but part of him wants his hand on your belly

-so probably a lot of him doing all three and you being like “hands on the wheel Ashton!” “we’re at a red light i can touch-” “Ashton it’s green now!”

-getting to the hospital and he doesn’t even get a wheel chair he just carries you because fuck that

-he’s super nervous and everyone can tell

-the boys show up and calm him down a bit

-”i cant believe this is fucking happening. oh my god. what if this is the last time i can swear? fuck. fuck. Y/N i fucking love you so fucking much holy shit.”

-”Ashton. calm down.”

-”what if im a terrible father.”

-”then i’ll divorce you and run away with Calum.”

-this earns a glare then a laugh and Calum’s just like “as the godfather, i can say that I one hundred percent would support that decision Y/N.”

-you all get Ashton to calm down and he holds your hand the entire time

-he would be such a great dad holy shit.

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 10 notes

oh wow yeah the layout of these will just forever be trash now bc it’s a lot of formatting work like a LOT sorry

• Presentation prep

○ Jacob is doing a tier list of every smash character in the world ever

• Apparently picchu was really busted

○ Idk who picchu is tho

○ Peechoo

○ I think it's picchu bc I think I've seen that before

• Are waterbenders ghostbusters

• R we starting

A few my little pony quizzes real quick

• When we last left off

• We were using medallions or whatever to search for stuff

• Broke into the city of the dead

• Were ambushed but interrogated one of them after killing the others

• Adam convinced that one that we chucked the stone

• We let him live but adam took his pants

• Not midnight but it's raining a lot

What are we doing

• As we leave the graveyard adam is getting chains out of george bush and putting it back on the gate

• Nvm we're just gonna follow naya

• Put chains back on 

• Squelching through mud

• Make way back w little trouble

○ We were able to set up the stuff?

○ Looks like some ppl r patrolling

○ Still hard to see bc rainy so we haven't been noticed

• Keep following naya

• Make way out safely

• Naya varies the pace every now and then

• Rain dies off later in the night

• Start approaching poorer area of the trade ward; fewer shops and businesses, more poorer housing

• Naya looks like she's leading us towards a windmill in the distance

• Just a towering windmill

• Not much wind so not spinning

• Cel makes perception check at disadvantage, can't see anything

• Naya runs up and stops in front of the windmill then vanishes

○ The second time we used naya's scry power? Maybe? Nvm?

• Does ur wifi ever poop itself

○ Nice

○ Ok I'll just keep sitting here ig

• Ok we're in a dark room and can't hear any sounds of a bloodbath

• There's a door

• Adam puts his ear to see if he can see anything, perception check

○ 8

• Door is solid wood

• Adam opens ground floor door

○ There r two doors

§ One on the side and one on the top

§ Ok we're in the windmill

• Cel pulls out lantern

• Adam opens door and sees a lot of people who look like they're sleeping on the floor

○ 5ish

○ Look like squatters

• Adam rolls 22 perception to see if he recognizes anyone, no one looks familiar

• Sneak by them ? Try to ?

• Adam can see another door that goes further in

• Adam snaps tiny flame on finger and rest of us follow the flame

• We walk over to next door

• Not locked

• Quietly go through

• Asyna is going to stay in the first room w ppl to watch them

○ In case they wake up / as guard

○ "hehe . Shillelagh"

○ "whack 'em with your 'forget-me' stick"

• Proposition for asyna to pretend she's sleeping

• Enter next room, just as dark as other

○ A few doors leading to left and right in front of us

○ In distance can see more people sleeping but only two

○ Looks empty

○ Lights lantern

• Adam pokes head through closest door

○ There's just more people

○ Strategy to burn entire building will not work

○ Cel can't tell if anyone looks like they're armed

• Do I want banana bread

• Going to peek into all the rooms

• Every room marked w2 has ppl sleeping

• What's happening in w3

• "so I look outside bc I heard somebody blasting despacito… there's a pickup truck towing a boat and there's a bunch of teenagers on it raving" - dom, 2020

• W3 is a wc a water closet as in a bathroom

• W4 is a closet w some cleaning stuff and grains

• Some ppl have woken up but they don't bother to like really watch us suspiciously

• Upstairs we go

• Three doors leading out of the room but also a large millstone in the center of the room

• Under debris, soaking wet from a hole in the ceiling

• Adam tries to move debris

• Cel rolls 15 perception, can't hear anything

○ Adam rolls nat1 and the stone resists adam's efforts

○ Technically a 0

• What's behind door w6

○ Caved in sections

○ Floor littered w bird droppings

○ Adam investigates "that's a 12 for eggs dominic"

○ There are eggs but they are fertilized eggs

○ Adam has to b careful

§ Gently picks up pigeon egg

§ "I have a plan if combat starts"

§ Adam is now carrying a pigeon egg

• What's in w8?

○ W7 first

○ W7 is locked

○ Adam tries the key; theo makes perception check first

§ Nat1 so can't hear anything

§ Adam tries the key

□ "I'm gonna stick that key into the lockhole"

□ It doesn't fit

§ 14, can't unlock

§ Aerana tries, 22

§ Lock clicks open

§ Cel peers inside

□ There's an open window, the room is cold

□ There's a door leading into a separate room

□ Armoire

□ Also two human males holding shovels

□ "congratulations - you're free" - adam

□ "what the hell r u on about"

□ "we unlocked your door that was previously locked presumably from the outside but now the door's open and you can walk through it"

□ "we locked it on purpose"

□ "none of ur business how we do ours what do you want"

□ "why did you lock yourself in here"

□ "bc this is our apartment"

□ Smth abt a rock

□ A tiny boulder ?

□ Rolls 20 for insight

□ Guy had a flash of recognition but he doesn't have it

® But what r they wearing

® Indiscrete, utilitarian clothes

® "can we search your room or will you tell us all you know"

® "is that a thweat"

® "a thweat? O thorry sorry a threat"

® Adam rolls for intimidation

◊ 9

□ "we could just lasso them"

□ "how much health do they have combined"

□ "ok so you guys aren't gonna tell us anything"

□ As adam turns around to leave he casts sleep

® 5d8 

◊ "is their combined health equal or less than 22"

◊ "together they had 8"

□ Asyna moseys on upstairs

• I try so hard

○ And then things like this happen to me

○ It's fine, I say, albeit wholly unconvinced

○ Wow ok it really b like this

• Adam makes investigation check for anything in the bed

○ 18

○ There's a cut in the side of the bed w a bag of coins

○ "we shouldn't rob these people"

○ Apparently it's not a lot so we leave it

• Going to check other room

○ W8

§ Try to open door but immediately hit smth blocking it

§ Aerana and cel try opening the door

□ 14 strength check; doesn't budge

□ Peeking inside can make out a lot of heavy stones

□ 3 in gap

□ "so we can't fit through it . But a much smaller animal could probably fit through it"

○ Would b asyna's second wildshape

§ Investigate room wd40 but it's w4b

○ Asyna and cel r gonna go to w4b

○ Adam sticks arm through crack

§ Adam gets sense roof has collapsed

§ Feels beam of wood blocking door

○ Dom thinks we're too weak to hammer the door

○ Cel goes first

§ Dexterity save

□ 19

□ 2 damage; steps inside side closet and floor collapses

□ Falls down into w4a on first floor

□ Picks self up and goes back upstairs

○ Gonna try n shimmy over, 10 for acrobatics

§ Starts making way over then falls; dex save 11

§ 2 damage again

§ "uh hearing cel fall from the second floor twice , I come out"

□ Cel is gonna try and jump to w6

□ Adam gets crowbar from cel

§ Adam uses mage hand to open the door

□ Cel can just see a bunch of pigeon nests in w6

□ Cel jumps into w6

□ More pigeons

® Investigates; 20

◊ Finds the odd shiny thing a crow might've brought in; for the most part looks like a bird's dwelling

◊ Some fish bones in one of the nests

◊ Nature check, 5; can't tell what kind of nest

◊ They look like pigeon eggs tho

◊ Whisper yells to asyna "pet pigeon ?!"

◊ "are you gonna throw it?"

◊ "let me just tell you guys right now . You have more than one chance"

◊ Both have to make dexterity checks

◊ There are at least 5 eggs

◊ Cel rolls 22, asyna rolls 16

◊ The egg made it across successfully

◊ Cel just jumps back

○ Adam lightly pats down the two sleeping dudes

§ Some money, small utility knife

§ Gonna crowbar w8; strength check w advantage

§ Adam tries using the crowbar on the hinges, 8

§ Warhammer ? 15

□ 11 damage

□ "ok. Bonk"

□ "screws were invented in the first century so there WERE screws in the renaissance"

® Oil the door, adam tries to pop out the bolt with a dagger

® Two 4s

□ The people we cast sleep on are still asleep

○ Nat20 for athletics check to go onto the roo

§ You go to top of the windmill

§ Drop down into the room

□ Huge collapse of stones from the ceiling, beam of wood propped up against the door

□ Nat20

® Positive there is nothing in the room, just ceiling debris

○ "I'm gonna give their hands a little bondage"

§ "and then jerry seinfeld walks in like 'what's the deal with airplane food'"

§ Adam shakes the more serious-looking guy awake

§ Takes out key and asks if he's seen it

□ Wakes up and says "wot"

□ Other guy wakes up and is flailing

□ Cel rolls athletics check to tie him up

® 14, is able to tie him up

□ Looks at it and says it's his

□ "what's it for?"

□ "none of your business"

□ "you guys have a hobby of graverobbing?"

□ Adam says he's with the citywatch

® Deception check at disadvantage

® 9

® "yeah we're from the watch . Watch your back"

□ "why were u in the mausoleum"

® Jacob makes intimidation check w advantage

◊ 16, more serious one says "well u know we don't normally do that sort of thing"

◊ "we was paid to do it"

◊ "by whom"

◊ Lorsa morclav

} Losser mirklav paid them

– Asdjdmaf nice

® "what's the key for"

® "it's private"

® "can you make it public? For money ?"

® "45" adam puts knife closer to throat "I'm guessing that's a no" "I'm guessing that's a less please"

◊ Asks if we've played the dnd equivalent of poker

} Adam says he wants names first

} Younger one is urlaster

} Older one is volkarr

□ Threaten to bludgeon toes

® "how connected r u to ur toes"

® "rather intimately"

§ Says he buried his treasure

□ 10 to hit, slams ground

® Adam asks to see where loser mirklav is

◊ Southern ward

◊ By a bunch of apartments

◊ Half elf guy - cellar street ?

◊ Lives in an apartment

◊ "wig shop"

◊ "a weed shop"

◊ "a wIG shop"

§ "did u guys steal anything else from the tomb"

□ "we was hired to steal bones"

□ "losser's a necromancer"

□ Did they pick up a stone ?

® Losser saw a really thicc rat

® Losser kills the rat but it just vanishes, leaving the stone

® Losser took the stone

◊ Insight check, 8; can't tell if he's telling the truth

} "u guys broke into the tomb of a noble family for a necromancer for how much gold"

} 10 gold

} "we're keeping the key"

} "is loser the type of person that stays up at night"

} "well he's a mostly nocturnal fella"

} "yeah he likes his beauty rest during the day"

} "he's a strange little fellow"

§ "how badly do you want this key back"

□ "that's my life savings I want it back"

□ "what does losser look like ?"

□ Halfling fellow w long gray ponytail, he's wrinkly and smelly

® Is it bad that every time I hear the word necromancer I think necrophilia not necromancy

® "yeah I'm licking your life savings right now buddy"

◊ Adam fake swallows

} Performance check, 8

} "you're the worst actor I've ever seen"

} Actually swallows it

} "oh fuck"

} Key is made out of rusty iron

} "alright . Bye"

◊ "do you want your key back within 1-2 business days"

} "why don't you just puke it out"

} "I don't want to"

} "you guys keep quiet, I'll return the key to you in 1-2 business days"

} "that's disgusting"

} "alright . Bye"

– We’re leaving them tied up 

– "wow we're being judged" - marguerite, 2020

– We take their shovel

– "say what was your name"

– "reginald"

– "deception"

w Rolls a 20 total

w "that's shilanda shilanda brilanda and tiffany"

w Nat1

® "it might come out less rusty than it was before"

◊ "hey dom when should I roll for that poison"

§ Cel takes knife, toss the shovels

□ Barricade door ?

○ Going back to mirt's to rest ?

§ Go back to mirt's

§ Fog has settled in over streets, early early morning

§ Make it back no problem

§ Past midnight

□ Rest with watches

□ During adam's watch reads book

® Investigation check, 20

® Details house growlund and their lineage

◊ It's a genealogical book

} A lot of the pages are blank bc it's continuously added to

} At some point it's described that some of the children were born with tails

– "I look at my tail . Then look back at the page"

– But then those tails were amputated

} Any inbreeding ?

– Investigation check, 13

– There was inbreeding

□ Cel keeps pigeon egg warm

§ Morning arrives, daytime mostly spent in fog until noon

□ 8 a.m.-ish

□ "do I have to uh use the bathroom dominic"

□ "is there any key"

□ "oh I thought you were talking about real life"

® "does the key come out"

® "oh my god no it does not"

® "this is a great disaster"

◊ "it was a large key"

◊ "then how did I swallow it?!"

◊ "oh god whatever"

◊ Key was small enough for adam to swallow without choking

} I didn't say this but I thought it: what if he had practice tho

• Renaer is up

○ Cel grabs asyna and adam to go ask renaer to watch their pigeon egg babies

○ He is incredibly confused but he affirms he won't eat them

○ "ey what's poppin mirt"

○ "how's it going"

○ "groot is chunky" - aerana?

○ "groot is the best kind of chunky" - cel

○ "mirt, I'll buy you a wig" - adam

○ "make it purple"

§ Purple like …. : - D ahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahaAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA

• We bust our way down to cellar street

○ Southern ward is the one where a lot of ppl move to from foreign lands

§ Eclectic

§ We find a small shop w some wigs in the front

○ There's a young half-elf woman running front desk

○ Headstands w wigs in the front, some r purple

○ Adam walks up to the half-elf woman asking for a special order w loser

○ "sorry we don't have anyone by that name"

○ "losser?"

○ Adam wants a private meeting to place an order

§ Insight

□ 16, she looks surprised n confused

○ There was not an apartment above the store

§ This corner is mostly businesses

□ Nat20 wisdom saving throw

® She is uncharmed

○ Has gray hair, smells like an excessive amount of lavender, 

§ Says his name is val

□ Mirklav backwards

○ "is your boss here right now"

○ Lets himself in sometimes to say hi and to check in like once a month but he has a key

§ "how do you know him"

§ "uh do u remember how I said I was throwing a bar mitzvah ? He's invited"

□ 15 deception, works

□ She goes to the back

○ Nothing suspicious looking in the shop aside from the normal weirdness you'd expect from a wig shop bc it's just head mannequins

○ An elf walks in

§ "hey . Yo"

§ He nods

§ Doesn't necessarily look like he needs a wig

§ Wearing a tricorner hat like gwash

□ Makes idle conversation

□ "interesting things happening in the city, eh?"

® Heard abt the house that got blown up

® "oo . What's the juice ? What's the juicy gossip my guy"

® They say some kind of explosion

® Says he's more into politics

◊ "of course he is"

® "well I concern myself w the affairs of princes and princesses"

◊ Talks abt making deliveries

® "well many of them r comfortable . Of late I was able to make a v special acquaintance who essentially helped me w smth I needed doing"

◊ "I'm adam nice to meet you . Is it impossible to explain or "

◊ What's this guy's name tho

◊ Says he's good at making ppl happy or sad ???

◊ "you're like a performer"

◊ "do smth for us"

} He lost his silver handkerchief

– Can turn silver into gold, flicks it

– Admits puppetry is not his particular area of expertise

w Name is Jamboreal

w Nat20 insight check

w Looks different but it's the other guy

w Oh it's the guy the disguise guy your handkerchief bruh you really forgot about your own doings n stuff

w AHAHAHHA I SEE IT NOW OOPS wow I was really off

• Clerk lady comes back in

○ Brings back note of smth

§ We'll just sneak back later at night ig

§ Adam gives her a gold and says he'll take her purplest wig

□ Brings out a fluffy purple toupee

○ Wig shop closes around dusk

○ "do you want this wrapped"

○ "do you want to come to my bar mitzvah ? I'm turning 14"

○ Jamboreal is haggling a price down

§ Concept: take asyna to the zoo

□ Adam runs intelligence check for a 

□ Uh are we going to the zoo ? We're going to the zoo

□ There's a bunch of animals

Pause; next time we’re going to the zoo

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you feel comfortable wearing tube tops? Noooo. You’ll never see me in a tube top. I don’t even wear tank tops. Has something someone said today annoyed you? Not so far, ha. I haven’t interacted with anyone, yet. It’s only 4:33AM.  Can you hear the crickets chirping at night? No. Do you like listening to new music, or just sticking to your favorites? I like new music, but I do love listening to my good ol’ favorites. I have a playlist that consists of a variety of music, new and old, from various genres and decades, that I just click shuffle and listen.  So far, where have you been on vacation? I haven’t gone anywhere this year, yet. 

Did you ever feel that there was something you couldn't tell anyone? Yep. Old stuff and ongoing, current stuff. Do you tend to gossip, even if you don't mean it to cause harm? It does happen. I’ll see something on social media about someone I know and tell my mom or brother. Family gossip stuff. Not to talk shit, but it’ll be like, “omg did you see what so and so posted/did/whatever.” Or like if someone is pregnant or broke up or whatever.  My main gossip is celebrity stuff, though. ha. When was the last time you were bitten by a bug? I don’t recall. It’s been a long time, thankfully. Have you ever gotten your hair permed? No. Do you have a pair of sunglasses that are worth over $200? I don’t have any sunglasses. I don’t wear ‘em, but if I did I sure wouldn’t spend that much. Not anywhere close. Would you ever go on a trip to Europe? Absolutely. I’d love to. There’s so many places I’d love to visit. Are you brave when it comes to trying new foods? Nopeee. I have the same few foods I rotate between. It’s a small list. When was the last time you saw your significant other? I’m single. Is there a friend that you can always go to for advice? I can go to my mom. Have you ever been to a town/place where the people were just creepy? No. Ew, I hope I never go somewhere like that. What's the fastest you've ever driven in a car? I’ve never driven a car. If you see a piano, are you tempted to go over and play a little something? I would. Especially because it’s been over 10 years since I last played.  Is there someone you know who bakes amazing sweets? Yeah. Are you ashamed of your singing voice? I can’t sing for shit, but it doesn’t stop me from singing to myself or around my family. I try to sound as decent as I can, ha. I’m not like those people on American Idol they show that can’t sing well at all, but they think they can and they’re just on there wailing. lol. Has anyone teased you with the "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" song? Yeah. Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? No. That would be weird. What time is it where you are? 4:45AM. Do you have anything important to do tomorrow? I have my Bible study stuff. Have you ever owned a beanbag chair? Yeah, when I was a kid we had one. If you own a laptop, do you have a case for it? I do. What was the last movie you purchased on DVD? I don’t even remember. I haven’t bought a physical DVD in yearssss.  Are you a fan of retro things? Yeah. Do you do your own laundry? No. I need help with that, which my mom does. Have you ever used pastels? Yes. Is there a song you're listening to at the moment? No. Would you be considered to be knowledgeable about World War 2? Not really. Have you ever been in possession of a hundred dollar bill? Yes. Is there one food you cannot give up, even though you know it's unhealthy? I don’t eat healthy at all, but the worst thing I eat is probably ramen. I love it, though.  Will you bother having a party for your next birthday? Nah, I’m old. I just like doing something lowkey with my parents and brother. Although, last year my aunt and cousin came over for a game night and cheesecake for my birthday and that was fun. I’d be up for that again. If you're with someone right now, do you think it will last? Who was the last person you flipped off? I have no idea. That’s not something I really do. Like, ever. Do you currently have a job? No. What was the last movie that was unable to capture your interest? Hmm. I don’t remember.  Have you heard of the Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers? The name rings a bell. Do you have something to do, that you would rather not do? There’s a few things. Are you, in any way, feeling hopeless right now? I’ve felt that way for a long time. Is there someone you just need to call and talk to? No. I don’t like talking on the phone. Are you one of those people who can eat anything and not gain a pound? Yes. I used to like that about myself, but it’s a problem for me, currently. These past few years I’ve lost weight due to health stuff and as someone who was already thin...yeah, not good. It’s caused problems for me. Are you nails painted at the moment? No. It’s been a few years since I’ve painted my nails. Is there a song you've been listening to lately on repeat? There’s a few songs lately that I always like to listen when listening to music. I just hit shuffle on my playlist, but there’s a few I like to just add to queue to make sure they come up. Lately, it’s been a couple Billie Eilish songs. Do you know who you're planning to ask to your grad prom? I’m 30 years old. I did go to prom; though, but I didn’t have a date. I just went with friends. When was the last time you went shopping? A few weeks ago. Is there anyone who did something absolutely hilarious today? Not so far. Again, it’s really early and I haven’t interacted with anyone, yet.  Are you having one of those days where you feel unattractive? “one of those days” is everyday for me, old sport. I feel unattractive and I am unattractive.  Do you like hot dogs? No. Do you ever get bored of your music collection and get new songs? I like to check out new music and add it to my playlist to add to the rotation, but I love my old stuff, too. Have you ever bought a designer purse? I’ve been gifted one. What's the limit on how much you would pay for a shirt? I’d say like $30. I mean, I’d obviously prefer cheaper if I can find a good sale or have a good coupon, but if not then yeah about $30. Would you ever like to see the Walk of Fame? Sure. Is it currently humid where you are? No. Have you been in any sort of physical pain today? Of course. Have you ever heard of the German movie Das Boot? Nope. Who were the last people you hung out with? My mom and brother. Has someone ever called you "obnoxious"? Not that I’m aware of.  Most commonly, do you obey rules, or break them? I’m more of a rule follower. Do you like making funny faces in pictures? Nah. Is there something you look back on and go "I can't believe I did that"? A lot of things... Are you good at offering advice? I think I used to be. At least, my friends seemed to think so since I was the one they always came to for advice. I wouldn’t say I am now, though. No one should ask me anything. When was the last time you had to resort to a map? I just use Google Maps if I need directions. I’ve never used an actual map. Your significant other: have you told them you love them lately? What was the last thing to confuse you? Life. How many different colors have you dyed your hair? 3. Do you know someone who always spells "bored" like "board"? No. Are you wearing make up right now? No. I haven’t worn makeup in over a year. Is there a phrase that you use a lot? Words and phrases, yeah. Are you old enough to vote? I’ve been old enough to vote for over 10 years now. Do you have a favorite pair of earrings? Yes, the rose gold Minnie Mouse earrings I got for Christmas. Have you ever been to Disneyworld/Disneyland? I’ve been to Disneyland a few times. Have you dated someone more than twice? Not more than twice, but twice. Are you a fan of Keira Knightley? I’m indifferent.  Have you ever resorted to alcohol to make you feel better? It never helped. Maybe briefly, but it was always short lived. Do you own a full-length mirror? Yeah. Do you ever go on PerezHilton.com to get all the celeb gossip? I see his tweets. Have you heard about Mel Gibson's rant/freakout? Yeah. That was ages ago. Do you wish your bedroom was bigger? Yes, that would be nice. My room is quite small and I have too much stuff. Are you aware of the significance of the date April 14th, 1912? I am, actually. Do you ever just lay back and watch the stars? No. Lately have you had much time to relax? You would think so since I spend majority of my time at home in bed. I wouldn’t call it relaxing, though. Not for me. I have health stuff, physically and mentally, and feel like crap, so. Did anything important/changing happen to you in March 2009? That was over 10 years ago, I don’t remember. I guess nothing that important happened. Nothing memorable, at least. Have you ever felt like a "new person"? Yes, but not in a good way. These past few years have changed me and not for the better. Do you own any expensive jewelry? Yes. What size is your TV? 32 inch, I think. Do you occasionally creep on people on Facebook? Nah. I don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook and what little time I do spend I’m just scrolling through my feed “liking” stuff and sharing an occasional post. I won’t say that I’ve never done that, though. ha. Who hasn’t. Has there been someone in your life that just wouldn't leave you alone? Yeah, in the past.  Do you hate to use public bathrooms? Yes. I very rarely do. Do you find most remixes of songs to be good or bad? It really just depends. I’ve heard good ones and I’ve heard shitty ones. There have been some I liked better than the original. Write something to someone who means a lot to you: Nah. I’ll just say goodnight!

[loveisinthe-aira-blog]

How to deal with your shitty-haired best friend crushing on you

A quick long guide by Bakugou Fucking Katsuki.

1.    Make sure said shitty-haired best friend knows that the fact he's gay as fuck doesn't bother you. There’s no way in hell it would. Also, he's the first person on this planet that really befriended you. He could even be the fucker who chomps into their KitKat fully and you'd be "oh, yeah, I'm cool with that". Actually, he might be that fucker. That's the coming out you should brace yourself for.

2.    Try to not let him know that you realized he unconsciously stares at you, sometimes. Like, in the gym, in the changing room, or in the public bathroom. Okay, he stares a lot of times. But he ain't a creep like the grape fucker. He's no stealth master either, but he'd be mortified if he realized you caught him. And you want none of that. Never.

3.    Don’t you ever push him away when he goes into full PDA mode just because those DAs are P. You know he doesn’t do that on purpose. Sometimes, he just forgets you’re not alone. He’s damn airheaded like that. But he’s also mindful, so you show him how to be a stealth master. Just flick him or something. He’ll understand. He reads you like a fucking open book, so he’ll understand for sure, and you won’t have wronged him behaving like the ass you like to be… to anyone else. Two frigging birds with one stone.

4.    Don’t you either push him away when the P in DA becomes “private”. You don’t actually mind if it’s like that. No point in denying. Also, there ain’t a damn point in being a wimp and in refraining yourself, you know? Shit, use those hands to do something other than exploding things. You know you want to.

5.    Don’t meddle when he stops to talk with another guy. Even if there’s no freaking way they match, or if the prick obviously doesn’t deserve him, or if you just know that prick’s going to break your friend’s damn soft heart. They’re only talking, for fuck’s sake. Not your business in the first place, even if they weren’t doing only that. Let them fucking be.

6.    Apologize because in the end you didn’t let them fucking be, and we all knew that.

7.    Actually, just apologize whenever the hell you have to. He deserves that for putting up with your shit all the time.

8.    Ignore when some very gay stuff slips from his mouth. He’s the one who’s most embarrassed ‘bout it. When that very gay stuff is aimed at you (ergo, most of the time) take the compliment and let go. It’s not like it makes you feel uncomfortable, and fuck, he takes enough mocking from dumb Ducktape and dumber Pikachu.

9.    Remember to smack them later, but only when your shitty-haired friend and Fucking Princess Bubblegum can’t see you – ‘cause she would mock you for being a protective “boyfriend”, and you’d have to hear her fake “what, you’re a boy and his friend” speech again. Now, why do you even hang out with them?

10.    Well, okay. Sometimes they can be funny. But they can also be a pain in the ass, so hang out with your shitty-haired friend more. You’re biased and who cares. They probably know that already. And if you do avoid hanging out with them, they can’t make a fuss about the “boy and friend” thing. Sounds like the perfect plan.

11.    Shit, alright, they’re more fun than a pain, so hang out with them, too. But don’t let ‘em know that you actually like doing that. They’ll never let you live past it.

12.    Back to the point, and now, you jackass, read carefully. Here comes the important part.

13.    Your shitty-haired best friend also wants to hang out just with you, so take the chance.

14.    Don’t think about the damn reason, nor of the way his eyes linger on you. They’re soft these times, but it’s all the same as in point 2.

15.    Don’t think about a lot of things. Especially when he looks at you and his eyes aren't longing nor soft, but just sad. Try not to think that maybe you do know the reason why. Try not to think that maybe it’s your damn fault.

16.    Fail in both things. Try again.

17.    Stay in that frail denial as long as fucking you can.

18.    Exit denial when, in the end, your best friend falls apart and tells you he’s in love with you, but doesn’t ask you to love him back.

19.    Goddammit.

20.    …

21.    God fucking dammit.

22.    First of all, calm the fuck down. You’re a mess right now, but sure as hell he’s in a worse state, and you can see that ‘cause he isn’t shedding any damn tear. And you know how much of a crybaby he is. His eyes are sad like you never saw them, but he’s smiling. Like he knew the answer all along but told you anyways, because he’s like that, isn’t he? He couldn’t keep lying, staying in denial as you were so ready to do. He’s always been a better friend than you, after all. Hell, a better human being.

23.    Fucking apologize because you don’t know what else to do, and try not to puke as if he punched you when he says “No, Bakugou, please. Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, you’ve just… been yourself. And I… I couldn’t help it. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault”.

24.    It’s not anyone’s damn fault, but you both don’t believe that.

25.    Go to bed. Sleep it off. Wake up and think about it again.

26.    Repeat for some days ‘till you wake up, think about it, and you can’t help but feeling only fucking flattered. Nothing else to say here.

27.    Next thing, act like you always do. Don’t you distance yourself, and hell, don’t let him distance himself. He’s your best friend, no matter what.

28.    Don’t believe him if he says he needs some time to make it alright again. There’s nothing not right in how he feels, and no amount of time would help. Time without you means time he’d spend alone. Blaming himself. Worrying he might be losing you. No shit, stick to him like sweat to skin. He’s not losing any damn thing and you better make that clear.

29.    Fucking tell him if you have to, even if that makes his eyes water and his lips tremble.

30.    Don’t let him cry, but give him a shoulder to do that on if you can’t avoid it. The shoulder is a good spot. It makes it difficult for you to see him finally let it all out, and that’s for the best. Trust me, if you don’t want any trouble.

31.    While you’re at it, hug the hell outta him. It’ll make him feel better.

32.    When he calms down, if you can, try to stop him from thanking you, otherwise yell (softly) at him because he’s an idiot.

33.    Now, now remember to breathe when he sniffles a laugh and looks at you like you put the fucking stars in the sky. Actually, he’s the one who does things with the stars, since he has tones of them in his eyes. Holy shit. You do realize they’re just his tears, right? Right. As if.

34.    I warned you, you shouldn’t have seen that, but now that you did, know that you’re plus ultra fucked up. It should be clear by the fact that you’re making parallels with goddamn stars. Really, what the actual fuck.

35.    Well, apparently it’s time to realize your stupid ass has been in love with him this whole time. Congratulations, you just won the slow as fuck race.

36.    Take time to digest that. It might have been going on for months now, but to finally see it clearly, that’s another story. Maybe use that time to… yeah, take in the little things you tried not to notice ‘till now. Definitely don’t notice when he talks to another guy if you don’t want to repeat points 5 and 6 in the worst way. Stay away from there. Point 4 it’s safer. Kinda.

37.    Don’t indulge too much into it, despite the way it makes you both feel – good. For as much as your shitty-haired crush is dumb, remind the open book thing. If you start to suddenly skim longingly over his okay-not-so-shitty hair, even he’ll be able to do the math. And you’re not ready to spill your guts, yet.

38.    Wait till you are, till you don’t feel like you’re going to fuck this up before it even starts, ‘cause that’s the last thing you wanna do. This feeling, this will you have is what’s really important. No matter how much you’re sure you’re gonna be the shittiest boyfriend in the whole goddamn world, you wanna try not to be. And that’s what makes all the fucking difference.

39.    That’s why, don't let yourself set up a pity party. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Just. Whatever. Explodo kill your insecurities and be fucking manly. Something like that. After all, if someone like him fell for you, there must be a reason… even if you can’t see it.

40.    Apparently, he can’t see shit either ‘cause when you try to tell him (damn hard thing, by the way) he doesn’t believe you. I’m dead serious. He doesn’t believe you. The goddamn idiot thinks you’re doing it for him and flat out rejects you. How come you forgot he’s the freaking king of pity parties?

41.    Try, oh try to refrain yourself from headbutting your frigging confession directly into his brain.

42.    Instead, kiss his stupid face. Hard.

43.    Pull away. Breathe.

44.    Repeat. Harder.

45.    Now do it softer.

46.    Pull away again. Headbutt him Rest your forehead against his. Bask in his wide eyes and then wider, dumbstruck smile.

47.    Hell, allow yourself a smile, too.

48.    Then… damn if I know. Just don’t hold back anymore. Fucking love him with all you’ve got.

49.    …

50.    And yeah. Let yourself be loved, too.

A/N: This works only if the shitty-haired best friend is named Kirishima Eijirou. You heard me. Kirishima Fucking Eijirou and no one else. How come it’s a guide if it works only for you, Bakugooouu Also, no friendship harmed during the process… but maybe some friends. ‘Cuz The Awesome King of Explodo Kills smacks with his Even More Awesome Quirk. R.I.P. dumb and dumber, hell if I’ll miss you.

(Mina: He’s kidding, ya’ll, he’s a good boy-friend to us…)

[saey-bae]

HC: feisty taken!mc gets hit on

this is longer than i expected it to turn out

i’m not quite sure how it happened, but it did

headcanon up ahead 

check out my masterpost here

Yoosung:

you and yoosung decide that a day at the zoo would be nice

animals and stuff, y'know?

gorgeous day- blue skies, fresh air, the works

but it’s also really fucking hot

so the two of you duck into the gift shop to browse

yoosung catches sight of a stuffed ! giraffe ! (((omg))) and he wanders off to check it out

you totally didn't stay behind to look at those little monkey stuffies with velcro patches on the palms and feet

oh my god they have neon orange monkeys? 

"hey beautiful"

you freeze in the midst of sticking one of the monkey's palms to its foot

that wasn't your bby yooyoo

you slap on a smile as you turn to see a guy leering at you

"hi"

"what's a beautiful thing like you doing in a place like this?"

wtf man it's a zoo why CAN'T I BE HERE ALONE AT A ZOO

calm down mc calm down ok you can do this

"listen, i'm not here-"

then he does it

he touches the boat butt

INSTANT RAGE COURSES THROUGH YOU

"hey! what do you think you're doing to my girlfriend?" yandere!yoosung appears behind you somewhere, having finally surfaced from the world of animal stuffies, but you're one step ahead

you crack the guy across the face

he's reeling from shock, staring at you as he touches his reddening cheek

"don't you ever go around doing that to me or other women again, or i'll fucking hunt you down myself"

yoosung's arm is around your waist

he's glaring daggers at the guy, but once the two of you leave the gift shop he's smiling his megawatt smile

he bestows upon you a kiss and a stuffed giraffe

"you. are. fantastic."

Zen:

it was opening night of a minor production

it also happened to be your debut as a musical actress- with you as the lead

oh god were you nervous about it

zen, as the doting and loving boyfriend he was, soothed your worries and handed you a bouquet of roses as you waited in your dressing room

"knock 'em dead, jagiya"

your love for him knew no bounds

and with that, you actually did knock 'em dead literally

nailed it~

after the curtains drew and the audience left, you were surrounded by cast and crew members

much praise, so love

giddy on happiness, you looked around for zen

but someone taller than you was in your way

you looked up to see your co-star, the other lead in the play

"hey mc, i wanted to tell you for a while now, but i wasn't sure how to bring it up..."

curious

you peered up at him

"what it is?"

then he obscured your vision

smooch

"i know you're dating someone, but i kind of like you and i was wondering-"

you didn't think, didn't even hear his words- just saw red

and then you popped him one, right on the nose

gasp

the people around you stopped their celebrations to stare

"what the actually flippity flop fuck is wrong with you?" you screech

he touched his nose, winced

broken? maybe?

you didn't care

an arm wrapped around you from behind as the asshole co-star was led off by one of the stagehands

were you going to hit someone else tonight? BRING IT ON YOU WERE ON FIRE THE IMMIGRANT SONG WAS PLAYING ON REPEAT IN YOUR HEAD FITE ME M8

"i can't believe that was my princess doing that"

so much pride in zen's gentle voice. it brought instant relief

you collapsed leaned back against him, though something else caught your eye

he had offered you another bouquet of roses

where you get so many roes from?

you turned in his arms and gave him a noisy kiss, giggling

"you spoil me"

then you stalled, seeing something else dancing in those crimson eyes of his

he leaned in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear

"i want every trace of that guy off you. i don't want you remembering the feeling of anyone's hands, body, or lips on you except for mine. you're mine, jagiya, do you understand? the only wolf who gets to play with you is me."

it was followed by zen sweeping you off in a princess hold before he headed back to your dressing room

well o shit

Jaehee:

I'm not really sure how to do Jaehee's? Honestly, I'm not super fond of her character so far -she's really uptight?- and I don't really have a good grasp of how she would react without being generic. Sorry. Hopefully I'll understand her better when I play her route.

Jumin:

you were at a dinner with juju and his father (new girlfriend, too) as well as one of his father's long-time associates who also happened to be a Very Important Frand™

nervous as you were, your great personality really shone under the pressure and you impressed the associate

goal accomplished

but maybe you impressed him too much

bc after you headed off to the bathroom and did your bizzness, you came out to find him waiting for you in the hall

the man descended on you like a hawk

he buttered you all up, basically backing you up until he had you kabedon'd but you wouldn't give

"what does that jumin boy give you that i cannot? if you're worried about lifestyle, i can lavish you with diamonds and riches beyond your wildest dreams. if you're worried about the bedroom, i'll assure you that i've aged like fine wine"

uhh but i don't want your wrinkly sausage

you pushed him back before he could kiss you, but you didn't want to land a blow in case you got your ass sued or killed the man

ok but it was pretty fifty-fifty that you'd snap at this point

"you listen to me, and listen well because i'll only say this once; i love jumin. more than anything. my love can't be bought with money, nor with promises of treasure and luxury. he could be penniless and without a name, and he would still have my heart"

man was shooketh

you smiled real sweet "excuse my language, but sir, go fuck yourself"

"mc..."

you paled. jumin was standing at the end of the hall, watching the two of you

you had learned to read him pretty well

or so you thought

those beautiful grey eyes held no distinguishable emotion

the man quickly excused himself as jumin walked over

you panicked

he pulled you into a hug

whaaaaat?

"each day, i keep thinking that i couldn't possibly love you anymore than i already do. how do you always prove me wrong?"

jumin pls we're standing outside the washrooms and the lady passing by is giving us a weird look

you're crushing me, let's crunch out a real cheesy line so he'll let go and we can snuggle it out somewhere else

"because our love is only going to continue to grow"

chokes

jumin bby how are you so strong for someone who only plays golf?

Seven:

didn't happen, you two never go outside

you were begging saeyoung to go to the supermarket

please

707 may be able to sustain himself on PhD Pepper and Honey Buddha Chips, but 606 was going to die if she didn't get any vegetables

or rice i'm asian dammit saeyoung

he grumbled, but he did end up taking you out to a proper supermarket

while you picked through the carrots, he meandered off to replenish his PhD Pepper stockpile

“hey pretty lady”

what the actual f u c k who says that aside from baba mitsunari 

you turned, clearly annoyed 

“not interested. i have a boyfriend”

but the guy kept persisting

the nerve

you just about had it with flirty mcfly Certified Creeper™ who was practically leaning over you now, leering

“hey!”

seven had his hand around your wrist in a second, pulling you towards him, irritation clear on his features as he regarded the other dude

your bby was so cute when he was trying to defend you but where the heckyeck did he come from

before your boyfriend could get a word in, you sealed his lips with a passionate kiss

what better way to prove to someone you were utterly in love right????devouring their face in public seems like a good option

mmph

he practically melted under your touch, his lips melding with yours as he kissed you back fervently

when the two of you came up for air, creepy dude was gone

seven grinned at you

“agent 606, that was pretty hot”

let’s say when you got back home, the groceries were left unpacked for an hour or two

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveyss 013.

Are you mad at your best friend right now? I guess it depends who that is. I’m not mad at em. I have to get out of the habit of calling Kile my best friend, but he has been my other half for so long. I’m not mad at him.. I just.. I guess I am just so sad wishing he wanted me the way I thought he did.

Do you know anybody with a pet snake? Ugh. Gross yes. I am not close with these kinds of people.

Do you buy your underwear in a pack or seperately? Either way. In a pack is convenient and cheaper, but seldom allows for cute undies. Buying individually is proving to be great for style, but expensive.

Have you ever made fun of anybody and later became their friend? I never really made fun of Nathan, I just would smack him with a plastic baseball bat.

Is the lamp on in the room you're in? Right now only this new little egg shaped lamp that is trying to die.

Do you have a pair of shoes that you can only wear with one or two outfits? Uhhh, maybe like ... no. Actually no, I think most of my shoes are interchangeable. 

Is there any drink that you absolutely MUST drink cold? I genuinely prefer my drinks cold. I think the only warm drinks I like are hot chocolate or tea.

Did you sleep in past noon today? Woof, no. 

Did your grandma ever tell you about her love life? I have never had a personal conversation with my paternal grandmother, and no longer have an opportunity since she was killed. My maternal grandmother has shared very little because she seems to think being private is like a badge of honor. She was in love once in college, but her parents ruined it and he let go and moved on. She never did. She ended up “settling” for my grandpa -- who was an awesome guy. She just wasn’t really in love, she did it because that’s who her parents wanted.

Have you ever painted anybody's nails aside from your own? Yes.

Anything exciting happening in the month of September? It’s my mom’s birthday which should be a national holiday. I can’t afford to spoil her, but hopefully I’ll be able to make it fun somehow.

Who is your last missed call from? I think my sister. I wish I had calls from Kile. It’s good I don’t, cus I would be tempted to answer. But it would be so good to hear his voice on voicemail. Sigh.

When was the last time you ate Frosted Flakes? Oh boy, it’s been a hot minute.

Did you ever NOT want a substitute in a certain class? I was homeschooled. There were no substitutes.

Do you ever donate to the less fortunate? Yes

Did you buy an American flag after 9/11 to put on your car/house/ whatever? Did I personally? No, I had no money. But my family did buy a lot.

Do you know any songs that are older than you are? Heck yeah.

Are there framed pictures of you anywhere in your house? Yes. We have like a large gallery wall with a photo of myself. We also framed some graduation photos. 

Compared to other people of your age would you be considered 'NORMAL'? What is normal.

Honestly, do you have any Hilary Duff on your MP3 player? I don’t use an MP3 player anymore. I have plenty of Duff on my spotify lol

Who is worst in your family about calling people back? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Do you like peanut M&M's? I do, but now I’m madly in love with regular m&m’s. Kile used to send me peanut ones I had so many I could have filled a bathtub with them hahaha.

When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? It’s been a very, very long time.

When was the last time you ate jelly beans? Yuck. Not that long ago we had some for David. I’m not a fan.

When was the last time you had hot chocolate? Around Christmas time.

Have you ever caught a friend cheating on their bf/gf? In a way. Not someone I’m close to.

What was the last song stuck in your head? I almost always have My Country Tis Of Thee stuck in my head. It literally happens all the time and I have no idea why. Mom thinks it is hilarious and also semi concerning.

Do you enjoy doing math? Not even a little.

Do you think your mom has secrets she’s never told you? Yeah probably. Not many, but I would imagine some.

Do you own anything you don’t want your parents to know about? Probably.

Do you pose in your pictures or just smile? Both. Just depends what strikes my fancy.

Are there any colors you will NOT wear? Pale creamy colors do not do justice to me. 

Do you use scented soap in the shower? Always scented something.

Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? Nooooope

Who was the last person you danced with? Enjoyable? Hahaha. I mean I danced last night with the kids. the last time I danced with a male, it was enjoyable.

Do you like convertibles? I do, my sister once rented one for a weekend when I came into town just so we could drive around and be spoiled. It was so awesome. 

Have you ever yelled at the television? Definitely. I just did for this murder story I’m watching.

How many songs on your MP3 player are about sex? On spotify I have plenty, not gonna lie.

Do you like water parks? I love them in theory, but I am repulsed by them in all honesty.

Dark or light colored jeans? Depends on the fit. 

Can you take apart a computer and name all the parts? Heckie no.

Can you take apart a car and name all the parts? I’d probably have more luck with this than the computer, but still no.

Would your friends describe you as nerdy? Yes, yes they would.

How many different colors are you wearing right now? four. White/blue, blue, black, mauve. 

Have you ever purchased a lotto ticket? I sure have

Are you double-jointed anywhere? Nooope.

What is the longest amount of time you've spent playing Monopoly? Probably like 4 hours. Though, it should be stated that I don’t think I’ve ever played with anyone who genuinely wanted to play the correct way. I would love to try.

Have you ever witnessed a tornado first-hand? Yes but it didn’t look like the stereotypical tornado. I want to see one. It’s wild how things change... back in the day tornadoes were my greatest fear. Crippling fear. No longer that way.

Did you play in the sand box as a kid? I didn’t dislike it. I just didn’t do it all that often. There weren’t any at the parks near me as a child, and my dad would have lost his mind at the mess.

How about on the monkey bars? I always tried and was often OK at it. I just disliked how hot the bar could get or when my hands would slip.

Have you ever made an alarm go off? Oh I sure have.

Have you ever colored your eyebrows? Yup. Naturally, my eyebrows are MEGA white blonde.

Did you ever own a pop-up book? Uhhh Probably one or two as a kid.

Have you ever honked at a biker? I don’t think so?

Have you ever taken another person's prescribed medication? A muscle relaxer once that my mom gave me that she didn’t need.

Have you ever played golf (not miniature golf)? I’ve gone one time to a like.. driving range type thing? Never gone official golfing. I’d like to.

Do you use gel in your hair? Maybe 1-5x a year.

Do you own a garden gnome? Definitely not.

Are any of the rooms in your house painted blue? Yes

Do you kick off your shoes as soon as you walk in the door? Typically yes I do, but sometimes we leave them on. Gram has to wear them for stability, mom wears them to protect her feet from cuts, and so I will sometimes.

Have you ever judged a book by its cover? Yes

What is the most effective device at the gym? I couldn’t tell ya. I’m intimidated by the gym.

Can you drive a stick shift? At one point yes I could! I am positive I wouldn’t remember how to now.

Have you ever picked on a substitute teacher? Never had a sub and I would never

How good are you at giving directions? OOOOOOOOOOOOOooo I’m terrible at it. I’m great at doing it in the car, but don’t call me and expect me to be able to tell you directions like “go northeast for 1.2 miles” heck no.

When was the last time you looked out the window nearest you? Probably a half hour ago or so. I checked on the water filling the pool.

Have you ever got dressed with the windows open? Yes. Often I will. Not in the summer though, because I try to keep my room as dark and cool as possible.

Have you ever given a foot massage? yes

Do public restrooms freak you out? It depends on where the bathroom is. Some of them are cleaner than others. I don’t like FREAK out about it, but I don’t enjoy it. I often can wait til I’m home.

Have you ever taken a shower outside? yeah, but I don’t love that.

Have you ever been to a junkyard? I have.

What do you think of Brad Pitt? I don’t really have a big opinion on him.

Have you ever watched the History Channel willingly? Yes, if it interests me.

Have you ever used pennies to pay for something that cost over 50 cents? Hahahaha for my siblings, yes. 

If a place makes you pay for delivery - do you still tip the driver? Yes.

Without the aid of a cell phone - do you know your parents numbers by heart? Yeah. 

Can you name 10 former presidents? Trump, obama, bush, bush, reagan, clinton, nixon, roosevelt, jefferson, washington.

Have you ever bought a gift for a teacher? Yes

Is your bedroom carpeted? Not since I was a child. I do have a rug down.

Right now, what color is your tongue? Pink.

When was the last time you had a Tootsie Pop? Last year probably.

If you could get the cell phone of your choice - what would it be? I have the phone I love. I have to give it up soon, but I’m dreading that.

Who is your favorite super hero? Uhhhhhhhhhh, I’m not sure. Either batman or superman I guess. I would probably have a clear idea if I watched all the superhero movies.

How about your favorite villain? I dunno, still would need to see the videos.

Do you know anybody who works at a bank? I doooooo.

What do you usually order from your favorite fast food place? Right now my favorite fast food place is Buona Beef. I love their char-grilled avocado pepper jack chicken sandwich on gluten free pita with extra jalapeno. OMG. so good.

Do you hand out candy to kids on Halloween? Yup. I dooooooooo. 

What perfume/cologne do you wear the most? My favorite is refuge by charlotte russe. 

Can you name all 7 dwarfs? uhhhh, sleepy, dopey, grumpy, ... no. lolol

Does the early bird really catch the worm? In my world, I totally believe this.

[batience]

Makeup Mishaps - TF2 Fanfic

The touch of a female's finger brushed lightly against Spy's bottom lip carefully, being careful not to smudge anything. He sat in a velvet cushioned seat in his own bathroom, eyeing himself in the large mirror as four other females stood behind him.

A second layer of bright red lipstick was applied by a dark-skinned lady with curly hair that smelled like peppermint and lavender hair spray in July, she was oh so careful when applying this layer. She spoke of gossip and dramatic one-liners that spoke of other women she did not like.

They were treating him as if he was one of them. But he had only lost a bet while playing a round of poker and was told if he lost he would be handled like a lady, dressed like a lady, act like a lady. Become one of them for the night. His mind was clear, his face straight as another hand was added. One that apparently added bright pale pink blush to his cheeks with an oh-so puffy and tickling brush.

This woman was French. Her accent said it all as she told Spy things like: "You're gonna be the prettiest one in the room." and "Your son won't even know who you are after this makeover." Her hair looked like it glittered like her hourglass shape and smelled like freshly baked cinnamon rolls dipped in sour honey.

Each female did their own job applying something to the Frenchman, mascara that made him think that he was a woman himself, glittery eyeshadow that shone in the bathroom light, lipstick that was as bright as the sunset, lip gloss that made that sunset more beautiful, blush that showed the paleness of his skin, the whole lot of it!

When that was over, his gloves were abruptly tugged & pulled off. He suddenly smelled the tin scent of nail polish. No way; they were going to everything. Spy stared as the same dark-skinned woman as before held his left hand up, a different lady doing the same to his right. The cold liquid that was soon to dry was applied to one of his fingers, he almost jumped. But rather he tensed up.

"Oh hun. It's only nail polish." He heard one of them say, "He's probably never had his nails painted, Claire." Said another. The nail polish was magenta, it was cold during each stroke. Spy concluded he was going to be here for awhile.

He closed his eyes for what seemed like half a second before ow! Spy's head jerked up slightly, a sharp pain erupted in the side of his head. He glared to the left of him, furrowing his eyebrows. One of them had pierced his left ear. Without any damn warning, this annoyed him greatly. "Mon dieu." He muttered out of nowhere, resting back into the chair as they did his right and resumed doing his nails.

The peacefulness was narrowly interrupted as a spiky, hard brush and a rough comb was glazed through his hair. It was put up farther with a large hair clip; he watched the lady do her work. She must be a hairdresser. Water was sprayed into his hair as she ran the comb through each lock, lifting a few every now and then, adding a few sprays to the strands.

While his nails dried, the other three woman left the room; calling for Scout's mother to come and spectate this while they rummaged through her closet to maybe set up an outfit for him. An outfit? Why an outfit? They had just said they were only going to do his makeup.

The other lady doing Spy's hair was sassy, her accent as sharp as tin hitting the roof of your mouth. She exaggerated everything, but was a big complimenter. Her voice ranged from striking orders to sweet compliments about how Spy looked as she did his hair. Until they, she finally decided a hairstyle.

Spy's dark gray hair was put in a small bun, while the front was put into small braids that were pinned to the side of his head with black clips. He didn't know his hair was daringly long enough for this sort of treatment. Hair spray was the last step, and she sprayed it wildly as she lightly fingered the soft hair placements.

His eyes averted to the doorway of the bathroom once noticing the other dark haired spectator. There she was. Scout's mother. With an unknown sly smirk on her face. Spy could feel himself growing slightly anxious. What would be next?

"Annnnd–there we go! You can come get em' girls!" The hairdresser announced, setting the hair spray down on the marble bathroom counter.

Spy was soon pulled off his chair, getting pulled & guided into the room where Scouts mother slept in. He was stripped from his tuxedo down to his undergarments. This was embarrassing. He was given at least a dozen dresses to try on. He didn't even get to pick.

The dress chosen was tight on his chest and sides, giving him an hourglass shape himself. It made his hips stick out. He didn't like it personally. But that's what they chose. A shiny red dress that only went down to his upper thighs and didn't even have one strap. And goodness, the heels. The heels were dark purple, small, and the heel itself was just thin and tall as all living hell.

Spy was surprised he got so bloody used to them so quickly. He stumbled at first, but was soon walking in them like a model that looked like a whore who smoked every single day. Jewelry was fitted onto his fingers, wrists, neck, and ears. Jewelry with actual jewels in them. Rubies, diamonds, and maybe even a few sapphires.

He admired the few rings on his fingers. Was it over? Spy glanced at the women in the room. Was it? One of them with blonde hair, glared slyly at the other. "Girls night out?"

"Girls night out."

"Woah, woah, woah–I'm not going out in public looking l-" Spy started, he was interrupted when one of them grabbed his wrist as they left the room; heading outdoors.

Spy was soon in the vehicle of one of them. Nervousness and frustration stabbed his heart, it was not a good feeling to be in a situation like this. He was a gentleman! Not a prissy pretty lady like these five–including Scout's mother.

They had arrived at a club, and jazz music hinted within it. Spy could already feel the golden stares of drunken men as they walked inside.

So many stares.

[rpchive]

Seventy Seventh Encounter-- Those Celestial

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME LORE

With the IT landed, Rio, Karumet, and Tori wait in the console room with the stowaway kleivenn. The three kleivenn are having a quiet conversation between themselves while Rio continues to wait around the bathroom door. Collin and Fawkes make their way into the console room, looking over at the three talking.

Collin: Are we uh, interrupting something? Karumet: No, not really. We were discussing what to do with the godshards you brought in... Collin: Ohh, okay. What're you guys thinking, then? Karumet: Shouldn't we just take them to Kujaar? They're shards of Phoenix, aren't they? So Nine would want them...

alienrabitt: But what if Thallion's still hanging around outside of Kujaar?

Karumet: Then he still doesn't know how to get in, obviously...

Collin: And luckily we can just land inside it, so it's not like we'd have to worry about getting around them either. alienrabitt: ...I guess we could do that, then.

Karumet: My concern is that they're Phoenix's shards. That means Tori, myself, and any other saa-based kleivenn shouldn't be getting near them. Fawkes: Why is that? Karumet: I mean, with the Others, the shards are too small and insignificant to do anything serious, but Phoenix was a Mother. Even just one shard could have a serious impact on us in particular. I mean, I feel like anyone would have a strong reaction to meeting their actual god face to face... Collin: Well yeah, I imagine anyone would be sort've awestruck in that kind of situation, but you make it sound like it's something a little more than just being stunned by its presence. Karumet: I couldn't tell you the requests a god shattered by war would ask of their children. Collin: ... Ah. Yeah, that could be bad.

I mean, if anybody would know how gods affected by war would be...wouldn’t it...be you...??

Karumet: So feel free to escort the shards out; but we'll need to keep our distance. Collin: Alright, I can manage that. Should I go get them, then? Karumet: We've already landed; though I suppose one of us should let Nine know first.

alienrabitt: I'll do that; you get the shards. Collin: Alright, I'm on it.

Collin and Fawkes head back to the practice room to collect the shards. The four shards of Phoenix, however, have merged into a singular, larger shard. Significantly smaller than those in Kujaar, but much too big to easily fit through the door at it's current size. Collin: Huh... That's new.

Fawkes: I suppose we should go tell the others? I don't think we'll be able to get out of the room with it being that size.

Collin: Yeah, you're probably right.

The pair heads back to the console room.

"So uh, the shards fused together and now I can't get it out of the door." Karumet: ...You left them close together? Collin: Well yeah, I didn't realize they worked like water droplets or something. Is there a way to split 'em back up? Karumet: Not without shattering the shard.

alienrabitt: I bet Demo could get it out of there. Collin: What do you mean? alienrabitt: Well, I know I can make "doors," so she makes "keys," right? So if there's already a door, she can open it however she needs to. Collin: That's... weird, but also makes sense? Alright, we'll go get her.

Collin and Fawkes head for Demo's room and knock on the door. Opening the door just enough to see out, but not enough for anyone to see in, Demo peeks out. "Yeah?"

Fawkes: Sorry, are we interrupting something? Demo: Uhh...guess not. Need somethin'? Collin: We need to get a godshard out of the practice room, but it's too big to fit through the door now. Tori was saying you could help us? Demo: Me or Firefly, probably, yeah. Collin: Firefly? Demo: Well, it's big, right? So you need to make it smaller? If you can't make the door wider...make the shard compact. Collin: She can do that? Demo: Why can't you? All that magic and you can't do a party trick like shrinking and growing objects? Collin: I've only got like an arm's worth of charge, and I'm not about to start tinkering with a literal piece of a god. Demo: Right, then I'll have to make the door bigger. Fawkes: It would be appreciated, yes. Demo shoves the straight end of the Candy Cane out of her door. "Then step away; I don't want you weirdos looking at my room."

The two take a couple steps back.

Collin: Alright, sheesh. It's not really that big of a deal, is it? Slipping out into the hallway, Demo closes the door behind herself. "I don't want anyone in there but me and Nydins. All there is to it."

Demo that’s real gay

Collin: Fair enough. The shard's in the practice room. Demo: Fawkes, can you duck? I don't need to see, I just need to know. Fawkes: Huh? I mean, of course, but "know" what?

He ducks, but seems unsure of why he's doing so.

“I don’t need to see if you can duck”

Fawkes: *shows her anyway*

Demo:

Stepping over to the practice room, Demo jams her Candy Cane into the doorway horizontally, then expands it longways until the doorway is roughly the width of a garage door. Shoving the cane above her head, she backs up against the wall and crosses her arms. "Looks good. You can just roll it out and push it upright from here."

Collin uses his magic to levitate the godshard and lift it through the doorway and out into the hall. "Alright, perfect. Thanks Demo, that's a pretty handy trick there." Demo: There's not a door or lock in the world I can't open. Makes things kind of boring. Collin: You never know, there are probably a lot of locks in the multiverse. Demo: And I was born to open them all. Fawkes: Alright, we should get to taking this back to Kujaar. We'll see you later, Madam Locksmith. Rolling her eyes, Demo removes the Candy Cane from the doorway, shrinking it back to its original size. "Right."

The duo lug the shard back into the console room.

Collin: Alright, we've got the shard. We good to go? Rio: Yeah, Tori already left. Collin: Fair enough. Let's not keep him waiting, then. The group heads out of the IT, godshard in tow behind them and Fawkes taking position behind it. The IT itself had landed particularly close to Nine's office to begin with, keeping the large shard out of the public view. Entering Nine's office, she quickly clears the distance between herself and the shard, leaving Tori at the back of the room. "Y...you found it? How'd you...where...??"

Collin: Some crazy kleivenn was hoarding the things to try and turn themselves into a god. We uh, liberated them for obvious reasons. Nine: 'N ya brought it straight here? ...Y'know this one's th' las' one, righ'? 'S gonna bring 'er back t' us... Collin: ... Wait, what? Really? Nine: Of course! Whaddo I have t' gain from lyin' about that? Y'know what she meant t' me...well, maybe you don't...but still! Collin: I think I can make a pretty good guess, judging from your reaction. Well, it's all yours then. Nine: ...Then I gotta get this t' the other ones. Y'all gonna stick around fer all that? Collin: What, you think we'd just miss the resurrection of one of the Mothers? Nine: 'S not like any of y'all saw 'er all those years ago. Collin: True, but... I don't know, this seems like kind of a big deal, doesn't it? Nine: Bigger 'n anythin' else. Ain't any of the Others or Mothers come back b'sides Xen, an' he blew it again. Fawkes: Then I don't see much reason for us to leave just yet. Nine: Then yer free t' follow me down t' the other shards. Ain't anyone else gonna follow us there fer sure. No one'd dare it. Collin: Alright, lead the way then. Leading the shard out of her office, Nine is followed by Tori and Karumet to a path in town that's entirely isolated. The path leads towards a staircase that seems to further lead underneath the city. Fawkes: So you've been keeping the other shards underneath the city, then? Nine: Ain't nobody gonna dig under a place like Kujaar. Can't even come in uninvited; who'd try t' loot it? Fawkes: Can't argue with that. I imagine you probably have some defensive measures in place as well, anyway. Nine: Y' don' even know th' half of it. After that incident with Xen; I doubled down on everythin' I'd planned. This whole damn place would fight back if any fool tried bargin' through my doors again. Collin: Probably for the best, since Thallion is probably still roaming around trying to get into this place. Nine: Oh, that bastard can try all he wants; he ain't gettin' in here 'til I'm dead. Collin: I imagine he's in for a pretty long wait then, huh? Nine: Longer 'n th' time he's got in this cursed, mortal coil fer sure.

Reaching the bottom of the staircase, the stairs let out into an absurdly massive stone room. Six large, rosey shards are the only things illuminating the group's surroundings besides the runic markings upon Nine's body; three on either side of the room, however one seems slightly smaller than all the others. Guiding the singular, smaller shard to the center of the room, it slowly draws in the other six shards.

Backing away from the shards, Nine seems unsure of whether to brace themself or not. Collin: Any idea what happens now, or are we all going blind here? Nine: No one's ever done somethin' like this b'fore. Whatever happens next is a surprise t' all of us!

As the shards completely merge together, they erupt into a massive pillar of light that slowly forms the shape of a large, serpentine dragon that has a rather large, poofy mane of multicolored feathers. Returning to a solid state, the feathers remain almost equally as colorful and legitimately bright as before, each one a different color with smaller diamonds of other colors layered over each other in varying colors within. Though their body is a very pale shade of pink, their slitted, mismatched green and blue eyes stare down at the group before them. At the end of their tail is a tuft of soft, yellow fur that seems small in comparison to the rest of their body, but could easily smother the group. Poking out from the feathery mane are long, thin, Y-shaped horns, the only things on their entire body that have no color whatsoever, and instead seem to look more like solid diamond.

Phoenix: ...It's been too long since I've seen the light of day! Nice to know you're still going to keep me waiting after all this time! Hahaha!

here comes the- here comes the Big Gay Mom

Collin brings his hand down after shielding his eyes from the lights. "Hoo, that was... really bright."

Coiling like a snake, Phoenix rests tiny, spindly little arms upon their body as they lean over to look down at everybody in front of them.

"Oh, the little hermes I made! They're still alive! I'm so relieved; oh, I'm absolutely going to have to make some more! Maybe not quite like yourself; now that I'm whole again, I won't need to change any more of my wonderful children. But you! Er...hold on, something's a little bit different."

Squinting their eyes, they lean forward a bit further, lowering their voice as to not deafen anyone with their natural volume up close. "What in the worlds happened to your little necklace? It doesn't look right..."

Collin: It's uh... gone through a few things, yeah. Phoenix: Would you like for me to fix it? I can't quite hold it in my hands like anyone else can, but I can certainly bring it back to its natural state.

alienrabitt: I, uhh... d-don't get me wrong; I'm not scared of you or anything, I just...really don't know what would happen if you did that?

Phoenix: It would remove that curse, for sure, but that /should/ be all...I'm rusty, but I would never intentionally hurt anyone. Collin: What do you think, Tori? I can't imagine we'll find anyone more suited to mess with it than them, honestly. alienrabitt: Considering the absurd amount of magic it takes just to change it? I'd have to agree.

Leaning over themself, Phoenix lies their head and torso sideways on the floor as they carefully lift Tori's pendant off with their tiny hands. Before he can even react to it being removed, the pendant changes with a camera-like flash back to its original amulet state. Equally as careful, Phoenix hooks the amulet back around Tori, sticking their forked tongue out slightly as they squint with concentration, like they're threading a needle. "That should do it.."

Collin: Feel any different? alienrabitt: ...It felt kinda like having a rug pulled out from underneath me, but someone was already there holding me up so I didn't even fall...

Phoenix: Well, I told you I'd be careful, didn't I? Collin: Huh? When'd you say that? Phoenix: Well, I said I wouldn't hurt anyone, at least... Collin: True. Do you feel any... different though, I guess? alienrabitt: ...Yes and no? It's kind of hard to explain. It's not bad, though. Collin: Hey, I'll take "not bad". I'm just glad the thing's back to normal finally. Phoenix: Yes, well, I'm glad I could help. Is there anything else I could help you with? I do owe you my life...

Collin: I'm... not sure? I already have pretty much everything I could want, really. Besides, we only found the last shard... Nine: I've had kleivenn from all over space 'n this world bring shards 'f ya back t' this place jus' so I could bring ya back. After all this time, he's still th' only human I've ever seen t' help us with no ill intent. Collin scratches the back of his head slightly. "C'mon, it's not that special. Y'all just have bad luck with humans, I guess..." Nine: No way am I lettin' this get swept under th' rug! If you ever need anythin', absolutely anythin'; come t' us, an' we'll get it, or do it, or whatever ya need! I mean it! Collin turns slightly red. "Sure, I'll uh... keep you in mind?" Phoenix: Well then, if that's all we have for each other, I suppose this meeting is over? I'll need to get back up to the surface; and I'm sure you also have somewhere to be...

alienrabitt: ...Actually, I have a question before you go. What happened to the other hermes?

Phoenix: ...I was devastated. Absolutely devastated; so filled with grief, and disbelief, and despair; to find out that humanity had turned on us, using my own children no less. There were very few hermes, only enough to protect me as needed before the war, but against my children, even they stood no chance. The weaponized saas were brought straight to me; and my children, my hermes, were taken from me before I even got the chance to help them. Had I been aware of the war, I would have never allowed that situation to escalate...but Stardust and I were the first to be targeted; and as my children killed their siblings, I had no warnings, and could do nothing in response. I couldn't fight my own children. I couldn't bring myself to strike the humans that hurt them. I could only allow their militaristic advance...

alienrabitt: ...And none of the hermes got away?

Phoenix: No. They were hunted down like game. Not a single one got to me, or anyone else. They died together, but alone. Collin: God... I'm so sorry.

in case you couldn’t tell this was a lore log

this is a lore log

Nine: Why're you askin' about all this? Y'all knew this from Holly; y' can't tell me she didn't tell you...

alienrabitt: I'm asking because I saw it. I'm asking because I heard them. I'm asking because I want to know if I'm alone.

Nine: ...Heard 'em? Saw 'em? No hermes can see stuff like that!

Phoenix: He isn't an ordinary hermes. With his combined abilities, he undoubtedly managed to open a one-way door to the past somehow. But to think he had to see that for himself...

Karumet: Why are you doing this? You're just upsetting them...

alienrabitt: ... Because I know what I saw when I had to look back; Karumet; and what I saw in that hallway was you.

Collin: ... What? Karumet: I...I what?

alienrabitt: I saw you. I saw you with the humans; I saw you kill them. I can't blame you for your past; I don't know who you were, or why you did what you did, or even if you did it because you wanted to, but every damn time I turn my back on you, I can't help but...

Nine: ...Tell me he's lyin'...no hermes can see the past; Phoenix; tell me he's lyin'!!

Phoenix: But he can...

Nine: You...you were one of them...you did this...? You killed my family?! Collin: J-Just hang on a second! Karumet doesn't even remember who they used to be! For all intents and purposes, they're an entirely different person than before! In the commotion, there is a long moment where Karumet simply stands in silence. As her eyes raise up off the floor, her hands draw back an arrow to her bow. "You worried about your back so long, you didn't even think about your front. Let's see how you like it."

Like a chain reaction, three things happen at once. Karumet releases their arrow; Nine immediately lashes out at Karumet in retaliation; and Phoenix swings their tail widely in an attempt to try and knock them apart. By the end of it all, all four of them are on the floor, and have been pushed away from each other.

Collin: Wh-What the hell just happened?! He rushes over to see if Tori is okay.

Square in the center of the gem in the amulet, Karumet's arrow managed to hit home before Phoenix's swing could ruin tbe trajectory or Nine could block with their body, splitting the gem in half and cracking it slightly. Breathing heavily, Tori struggles to find the proper reaction as he shakily reaches for the arrow.

Collin: Oh God, Oh God, Tori, just... hang on, okay? We can get this fixed. Just don't touch it, that might make it worse... alienrabitt: O-...ok-kay... Collin: Phoenix! You have to help him! His amulet, it's... Nine: I never thought I'd have t' fight like this here of all places, but--

Phoenix: Enough!! The humans did this! Don't blame her; she doesn't know what she's done. I can fix this; I can fix them both; please...don't hurt anybody else!

Karumet: I know what I did! I know damn good and well what I did! I finished the damn job! You brought in another hermes; and I hunted them down; and every time you do it again, there's only going to be more of us. There will only ever be more of us. You were never really welcomed back here; there's bound to be more like me here; and every single one of them is gonna show their true colors once you get up to the surface!!

Phoenix: No...no; that isn't true! That can't be true!

Karumet: You lost the war. Now let go; and stay gone!! Collin: Shut the hell up, Karumet! There were no winners in that pointless war! You can fan what little flame is left, but you're fighting for a lost cause! It's all just pointless fighting now, don't you see that? Karumet: How can it be pointless?! There's only two of them left; and both of them are right here! There's a city full of kleivenn, and a ship full of my army at it's gates; and all I have to do is finish what I started!! Collin stands back up on his feet and turns to face her. "Over my dead body." Karumet: Why are you siding with them?! They hurt you! All they've /ever/ done is hurt you!! Collin: Says the person who shot my fucking boyfriend. Karumet: Don't be ridiculous! He was holding you back, and you know it!! Collin: Holding me- What, did Thallion and his friends just program you to backstab us and spew nonsense? Seems like a pretty big waste of time if you ask me. Karumet: Nonsense?! You're basically dating a hammer! You don't even know what you're supposed to do with him!!

when I read this log back to myself the other morning, I didn’t totally understand what that line meant; but it’s clear that whatever Karumet and Thallion were working towards; they viewed the human condition as like, the peak of everything, and so everything that existed outside of that was meant to be a tool for humanity

so of course she doesn’t see a kleivenn as worth anything unless it’s compliant; and the gods are out of line for refusing to provide tools that are exclusively tools and not, y’know, actually living things with a bigger purpose

it’s a pretty toxic way of viewing things, but honestly, that’s just how Generic Human Villains get

Collin: I know damn well and good what I'm supposed to do with him! I'm supposed to love him, make him happy, and protect him from lunatics like you! Fed up with the argument, Karumet summons up their bow, but finds that they can no longer summon arrows. Turning around, they see Phoenix's massive, feathery face glaring down at them.

Phoenix: Never again. I will not allow my children to kill each other again in any lifetime I am given. No longer can either of you raise your weapons against each other.

Karumet: You're making a mistake...! This guy...!!

Phoenix: Leave us. Leave this city; and take your allies with you. Take your ship, and leave, and forget your sins.

Gritting their teeth abruptly, Karumet's eyes well up with tears as regret creeps back into them. Shaking with a mixture of emotions she cannot properly convey, Karumet is forced to leave, and follows her path back up the stairs.

...but in the end, a kleivenn must answer to their gods above all else.

Sliding across the floor, Phoenix frowns as they cast their gaze down to Tori. "How many more times will I have to see harm come to those who never deserved it...?"

Collin: Can you fix the damage? Phoenix: If you can remove the arrow. Collin takes a deep breath and kneels back down next to Tori. "Okay, you heard 'em, right? I'm gonna take this out now, alright?" alienrabitt: ...Okay...o-okay... Collin: I love you, Tori. alienrabitt: ...Um...wh...? Taking another breath, he grabs the arrow shaft and tries to pull it straight out with one motion. As the arrow is removed, the orbiting fragments of Tori's jewel return and fuse back together as if time had been reversed. Groaning from both the pain and the strain of it all, Tori grabs his head as he struggles to regulate his breathing. Collin tosses the arrow to the side and puts a hand to Tori's cheek. "Easy, easy.... You're gonna be alright..." alienrabitt: ...Wh...why...why did she...why would she...? I...thought... Collin: ... I don't know... Maybe it was like a "sleeper agent" thing, or... maybe she just played us this whole time. I really don't know... alienrabitt: ...I'm sorry...I thought if I told her, she'd...she'd just remember herself...I didn't think she would... Collin: It's okay, it's not your fault... Phoenix: Please don't blame yourself. Whatever happened then was most certainly a result of the war; not your actions. We will be alright.

alienrabitt: ...We should go... Collin: Are you able to walk? I can carry you if you need me to. alienrabitt: ...I don't know. Probably... Collin: C'mon, let's get you off the ground. He takes him by the hands and carefully starts trying to pull him up. Standing upright, the environment around the pair shifts for just a moment before Tori manages to pull them back to the right place. Shaking their head, Tori glances down. "I'm...kind of out of it. Maybe don't stay so close..."

Collin takes a couple of steps back. "Alright, just try not to fall over or... phase into another dimension." Laughing nervously, Tori nods.

no promises

Collin: I'm uh, sorry about this. This probably wasn't exactly the return party you had in mind... Phoenix: It wasn't your fault. There was no way you could have known she would react like that. Collin: I guess so... Still, we should probably leave before anything else goes crazy. Nine: Don't worry; I'll keep an eye out for more weirdos. Y'all jus' worry about gettin' back t' yer ship. Collin: Alright, take care. Let's go, guys. The trio safely returns to the IT, where Rio continues to wait by the bathroom. Collin: Well, we're back.... Rio: ...Is Karumet staying behind? Collin: Karumet... tried to kill Tori. Rio: Wh-what?! Why!? Collin: I... Either Karumet was working for Thallion and the humans this whole time, or Phoenix coming back triggered something in her, I don't really know. She's not with us anymore, that's all I can say for sure. Rio: ...I'm so sorry. That must have been horrifying...

the Starbound characters would probably be the least shaken about this reveal tbh; especially after all the things Atlas and Kluex were doing. Firefly and Nydins would probably have a harder time accepting that someone they’d trusted turned out to be irredeemably bad; but we’ll get to that some other time

Collin: I'm... I'm just glad Tori's alright. That's about all I can say right now. Rio: I understand. Collin: The good news is that we resurrected a dragon god, so... at least there's that? Rio: That must have been incredible! Collin: It was... very bright. I swear there wasn't a dark spot on them. Rio, I've really gotta lie down; can you send us off to the next place, please?

Rio: Oh, of course! You probably need some time alone after all that anyway. Collin: Thanks Rio. Here, I'll walk with you, Tori.

and with that, Karumet’s gone in an instant. but will someone take her place? find out...eventually!!!