#and they say “okay fine have fun”
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chaosmagetwin · 2 months ago
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Tanya, my OC from ff14 and thoughts
Some spoilers ahead for each of the expansions, up through Endwalker.
Original Tanya (name unknown) was a Viera conjurer Adventurer from Gridania during the Battle of Carteneau. She witnessed the fall of Dalamud directly, and saw the original Warrior of Light (though she forgot them, as everyone else did, except for the ring of light). She was within the main host of the Grand Eorzean Alliance Army. Unfortunately, OT did not survive the fall of Dalamud. Her body, among others, was recovered by a surviving squad of the Lambs of Dalamud, but they were unaware that the fight was over. At this point, Tanya was summoned into the corpse of the Viera, and given life. 
Whether the voidsent was inexperienced, weak, incapable, or whether the Viera's latent White Mage power briefly awakened is unclear, the Viera's soul and the voidsent merged into one creature, completely new, with the memories of neither. The body also mutated, gaining the black horns of an Archdemon, and marred black hands that looked as if they had been stained by tar. Tanya, as she would come to call herself (unaware of the proper naming conventions of Viera), was used by the Lambs of Dalamud as a proficient fighter and, after some time, thaumaturge. She was taught that she was a weapon, a creation intended for nothing more than violence.
During this time period, she murdered, stole, and made sacrifices to a god she didn't know or appreciate. However, due to being a creation (however flawed) of the Lambs, she was often given work that others didn't want to do... including taking care of sacrifices until the time of their execution. No one sacrifice changed her mind, but the combination of several made her question what she knew. Despite this, she didn't leave the Lambs of Dalamud until nearly 4 years later. She spent the final year before "A Realm Reborn", learning how people really lived within Eorzea, more or less wandering; at times she killed to protect herself, at other times because she felt drawn to it, like there was a hunger. She ended up in Ul'dah, after learning how to glam her horns and hands (at least temporarily) and became an adventurer professionally, seeking to use it as a way to learn more about the world, and continue exploring without being questioned for her reasons. It was also a way for her to continue what she see's as her purpose; violence. At this time, she yearns to be useful, to put her skills to use for society.
As the story progresses, Tanya learns a few things about herself - being what she is, she is impossible to temper. Her internal aether is weak(it grows over time), but she does have access to drawing in aether from her surroundings passively and actively; one of the active ways in which she can draw in aether is vampiric. Unlike Minfilia and Krile, she does *not* have the echo. During ARR, she has Thaumaturge and Black mage powers. She is found by the Scions, and their access to the Echo allows them to find out what exactly she is. Rather than destroy her, they decide to put her to use, believing her to be a good weapon, at least until they find someone with an Echo who can fight as well as she can.
The scions, for their part, are not necessarily fond of Tanya; she's rather frightening, often inhuman in her mannerisms, with questionable morals and ethics. They wanted a tool, someone who could fight the primals that were draining the land. There was some concern that she'd simply become a replacement for the primals. Ultimately, she's capable of communication, and can't temper people so she seems like the better option. Near the end of ARR, their opinions have changed only a little, especially for Thancred, after Thancred's return after possession. Tanya, during this period, is simply happy to travel and be of use. She learns a little about what she is during The Crystal Tower series, and especially within the World of Darkness, where she feels the most comfortable existing. Some of the creatures within even seem to recognize her among the adventuring group. Hydaelyn never interacts with Tanya during ARR; the crystals still fall to the ground, and Tanya picks them up, but there are no visions, no information gained from them.
The end of ARR sees Tanya fall deeply in love (platonically, not romantically) with the scions, becoming fiercely protective of them all after the banquet, and nearly openly hostile to outsiders; some would call her a chained rabid dog. The scions do not return her love in any regard, though they continue to pretend she is one of them, especially with her. The journey of Heavensward tests Tanya's patience with the local religion, forcing her to stay as glamoured as possible throughout. During this time period, she impresses the ghost of Midgardsormr, and after a short test, gains an echo for the first time. She also becomes a Dark Knight, allowing her abundance of dark aether to thrive. Tanya is at her lowest point during this expansion; despite having a small cadre of people she trusts, she can feel that trust is not extended to her; no one has told her what she is, but Y'Shtola knows, and has told the others. She connected deeply with both Ysayle and Estinien, even developing a crush on Ysayle before her untimely demise. However, neither learned the truth of her existence at this point. She also interacts with The Void Ark, Mhach, and Dun Scaith. It is at this point that Tanya, as part of a group of raiders, accidentally becomes much more powerful after absorbing a portion of the Nullstone's power, simultaneously revealing what she is and empowering her. It is also revealed that the nullstone could remove the voidsent portion of her soul, but that doing so would destroy who she is currently. She is uncertain of what to do, afraid of death and can’t make a decision. Instead, she puts it off for later, squirreling the nullstone away, telling no one about it.
At the start of Stormblood Tanya’s class is that of Astrologian. Physically, and magically, Tanya is at her most powerful, utilizing the nullstone's strength, and often draining aether from the world around her at alarming rates; she uses it the most during fights with primals, where she can blame it on them, though the scions know the truth.. However, mentally, Tanya is doing quite poorly; Haurchefant’s and Ysayle’s deaths impacted her deeply, and she greatly feared losing any scions. She refused any and all help. This backfired with Zenos, as she nearly died when she prevented anyone else from facing him; she couldn't drain the land's aether without someone to blame it on. Most of stormblood continues as normal, with the added caveat that Tanya slowly learns to let the scions do their work again, despite her stress. Tanya’s relationship with the scions at this point is one of begrudging trust. She's sacrificed too much to merely be a tool, too much to merely be their weapon, and the truth of what she is has been revealed and, ultimately, accepted. Tanya still dearly loves each of the scions, as they have finally accepted her for who and what she is, even if she is still somewhat strange and inhuman at times. Unfortunately, her worst fears come true as the scion’s souls are whisked away to The First. Her relationship with herself, however, is strained. She feels that she is a monster, a horrible creature that has stolen a body never meant for her.
It is fortunate that Tanya is physically transported to The First, as it’s unclear what would happen if only her soul had been sent. During Shadowbringers, Tanya finds that absorbing the Lightwarden’s power is easy for her, due to her aether vampirism, but containing it appears to be incredibly difficult. She is at her weakest during this story, forced to rely on the scions to handle any combat task. Unwilling to be a simple passenger, Tanya picks up the White Mage class for the rest of Shadowbringers, stating that if she can’t fight or foretell the future, then she can at least heal their injuries directly, if somewhat weakly. It is during this period that she loses the power to glam herself at all, and she is forced to allow others to view her as she really is. Fortunately, voidsent seem rare among the first, and none associate her with the sin eaters, so it was questionable if it was necessary to begin with. Between the final lightwarden and the final fight with Hades, Tanya barely manages to hold herself together, and still bears the scars of it today; white and gold streaks and horizontal striped scars that cross her entire body, as though she were being pulled apart by a great force. She manages to survive, however, and is able to purge herself of the light. The end of Shadowbringers, after she finishes recuperating, is one that sees her still weak - the light corruption had weakened the power she had received from the nullstone, and there wasn’t much aether for her to absorb from her surroundings. 
She helps Ryne with the Eden project, and finds herself feeling connecting with and understanding Gaia to some extent. However, the most disturbing part of the entire series was certainly fighting the reborn Cloud of Darkness; a creation, such as herself, who's only purpose, instead of violence, is to die.
During this time, it is discovered that those with tempered souls can be cured with no negative effects. With effort, she returns everyone, including G’raha Tia, to The Source. After this, Fourchenault Leveilleur disowns Alisaie and Alphinaud, and she appropriately curses the man out of the meeting, angry that a parent would ever give up their child for any reason. She vows to never forgive someone who would give up their family, and offers (fruitlessly) to adopt the twins.
Before Endwalker begins, Tanya is healing in nearly all ways; her scars ache, she feels aetherically starved, and her emotional state is distraught. The scions, however, have finally fallen in (in various levels of platonic and romantic) love with the creature. They are interested in helping her to recover, to heal, to get the therapy she needs.
During Endwalker, Tanya becomes a Dancer, and, for the first time in The Source, allows herself to exist without glamours. She receives no small amount of fear, but fortunately, her efforts as The Warrior of Light and the support of the scions protected her from most backlash. During this time period, Tanya is at her most stable, emotionally speaking. Physically, she is capable, but no longer as strong as she had been during Stormblood. This is all relatively good, as it allows her to survive The Final Days without becoming a Blasphemy, something that would have previously been impossible for her, during any point of her life. For her, the most important time of Endwalker was during Elpis, and being able to interact with the Ancients of the unsundered world; she developed a strong crush on Venat, Elidibus, and Hythlodaeus. She found them to be relatable in ways that others often weren’t, and connected on an emotional level to Hermes and Meteion, Though she didn’t agree with their choices, she understood how they reached those conclusions. Ultima Thule just about broke her as she lost her friends, one at a time. The only thing that drove her on at the end was the hope that Meteion could be persuaded to use Dynamis to return her friends. Or, failing that, revenge. 
Zenos is of particular note, in all points he appears in. Few understood Tanya on such a visceral level as Zenos did; he understood her to her core, from the moment he met her. It is not unfair to say that he was a mirror, and the only difference between the two of them was the support of allies. When Zenos called Tanya a friend, she earnestly accepted, and agreed. In a way, she felt that they completed one another. She deeply loved Zenos. She deeply hated Zenos. She wanted to kill him. She wanted to be killed by him. By the time she fought Meteion, she was ravenous for the fight to come. Their fight was one of devouring; of all-consuming love and hate. Tanya is incapable of describing their fight in anything but in terms of erotic cannibalism, of pleasure, and fullness, and pain. In many ways, she feels empty now that he is gone, and she is alone. She fears that she may never find another like him.
Exploring the 13th, AKA the Void, has been a strange and sad feeling for her. In some ways, there is a feeling of belonging. In others, she feels alien. And, finally, she meets Zero, who I did NOT know about when I first wrote all of this up, back at the start of Endwalker, before any patches came out. Zero is a mirror to her in so many ways; a mirror of what she could have been, if she'd been in the 13th instead. The transactional nature of all relationships. Where Tanya clings and clutches at allies, of feeling useful and needed, Zero has pushed away and isolated herself. Where Tanya has thrown herself under the bus for the slightest praise, Zero holds herself aloof to it. What Zero see's in Tanya, besides kinship with a voidsent who is at some sort of halfway point like herself, is unclear.
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backpackingspace · 6 days ago
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Okay so with the line "the olive tree where we first met" we have two equal hilarious options.
When penelope was sassily like oh I'll marry you if you make a living bed out of this tree right here! Cue penelope stumbling over odysseus very very carefully digging up the tree "because how else is he going to get it to itacha we can't have a wedding bed out in the open in sparta duh"
Or
2. Penelope, knowing that Helen's suitors would soon be arriving to take over her home for a while. Snuck out and went on her own wacky shenanigan filled journey where she scoped out all the major players. Odysseus caught her spying in an olive tree. And when she got back she told Helen she had dibs on the cutie from itacha.
#epic the musical#epic spoilers#Itacha saga#penelope#Odysseus#Odypen#odysseus x penelope#Young odypen courting was filled with wacky nonsense basically canon confrimed#The line “....where we first met” implying that they first met under that specific olive tree#Which has to have some absolutely insane logistics that only odypen (and maybe Athena) could pull off#Odypen being 🥰 🤝 rat bastards in love#Option one odysseus Athena please please please helpppp me pen said she'd only marry me if I made a wedding bed out of this tree#Athena: once again I think you are praying to the wrong person but fuck it how do you think you're going to keep that tree alive#Odysseus: ....a large bucket?#Athena gimme a sec okay I need to go have ares bash my skull in before I watch something this stupid#Athena: checking in on penelope her chosen weaver only for her to be pulling her hair out#Penelope (to her cousins): why did I fucking say that! Beating fathers already an impossible challenge why did I say that#He's going to think I was making fun of him! He's not going to want to marry me now!#Helen: weren't you? Making fun of him?#Penelope: That's not the point!#clytemnestra: Hey he's digging the tree up and has the biggest bucket I've ever seen#Penelope: what?! Trips over every item in the room and gets tangled in her curtains blushing like crazy#Athena: ....it's been a while since I checked up on diomedes training. He'd never put me through this nonsense#Option 2#Helen's maybe a little nervous and wants to know more about who she has to potentially marry and penelope promises her she'll get rundown#Helen did not expect penelope to disappear but she probably should have....it'll probably be fine. Right?#Some kings penlope just straight up greets some she stays hidden and spies#Odysseus is the only one who catches her (he trains woth Athena in the olive Grove#She was not happy when odysseus nearly tripped onto her spear point face first when he saw the strange pretty girl)#And odysseus who's been king for a few years now knows every lady's face because he'll probably have to marry one of them someday
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butwhatifidothis · 2 months ago
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I guess the ultimate thing that kills CF for me - or at least nudges it away from me saying I definitively like it - is just how much Edelgard is clearly written with the player in mind before she's written with her character in mind.
Because on all of the other routes, there's a power to Edelgard's presence. Even on BE, there's a sense that for as lonely as Edelgard might be, she still ultimately will do whatever it takes for her to get what she wants. Be that be killing her citizens (or otherwise letting them be killed), endangering her friends, assisting in kidnapping people, allowing Byleth to support her only when they have the Sword of the Creator, covering for TWS - no bar is too low for her to limbo under if doing so means she's even a step closer to her goals.
She's manipulative! She's deceitful! She doesn't care for the lives of her people! Even her friends are forfeit if they try to stand in her way! And this happens no matter how close you, the player, get to her, in the case of BE - C+ ain't stoppin' Remire, and going to the coronation ain't stopping the Holy Tomb.
And in the war phase, she is dominating the field. She has the Kingdom completely on the ropes, down to a few houses standing against Imperial rule, and the Alliance is stuck in neutrality - she may not be able to do much to it, but neither can they do anything to her (to say nothing of the Alliance houses who stand with her). She's far from the underdog in this race, and she shows off how threatening she can be.
CF? Her route?
She scweams at scawy rats. She gets embawwassed when you find her dwawings. She's just so wonewy, and she's just so gwad that you chose her. She somehow fails to capture Rhea, or frame Dimitri for regicide, and so now has to deal with that on the Kingdom's side of the war. But that doesn't stop Elly Welly-kins fwom twying to find her pwecious teacher, because you're just so important to her. She cwies and hugs you when you meet her in the Goddess Tower!! Because she missed you so much!!
It's like... Dimitri and Claude certainly show different sides of themselves on their respective routes. It's the whole point! You grow closer to them and thus see how they treat those close to them, as opposed to being the Kinda Neat Teacher they see run along every now and then. But, like... Claude doesn't become a blushing maiden whenever Byleth speaks with him on VW. Dimitri doesn't scream at scary rats and get called cute for it on AM. They don't get Basic Bitch Gap Moe Traits slapped onto them that are only ever shown to the player and only on their routes. Unlike Edelgard.
Dimitri's endearing trait is that he's this big huge dude who can bench-press forests and arm-wrestle god who still wants to learn to sew and who teaches kids to protect themselves and who buys candies for his friends. Claude's endearing trait is that he's this mastermind planner who has contingency and lie and obfuscation as three separate legal government names who still wants everyone to be safe and happy and hold hands and be friends.
Edelgard is strong, confident, and willing to do some of the shittiest things known to man for her goals. Her endearing trait is that her screams are cute. She's shy about her drawings of the player character. She blushes over the player potentially joking about having sex with her per her JPN version of her C support; you know, the one about how Byleth walks in on Edelgard muttering in her sleep from a nightmare about her tortured family? Perfect time to joke about fucking her! Dimitri and Claude's endearments are, well, endearing; Edelgard's are all straight up embarrassing for her.
Hell, even the smaller stuff is affected! Claude's passion for poisons and mushrooms are things he has no qualms about having others know about, despite how weird they are. Dimitri laughing at shitty jokes brings him no personal discomfort or embarrassment, despite just how loudly he laughs at them. They have traits to them that can easily be uwu worthy, and they don't care! Of the lords, only Edelgard does! Because, it feels like, the only way for a strong, resolute female character to come off as approachable is if she's knocked down a few pegs for specifically and only you, the player.
And that sucks ass! I'm sorry, but when I'm playing Edelgard's route I don't want to deal with her hiding herself away in her room for a month IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING WAR because she's just so embawwassed! It is so fucking insensitive that Edelgard is literally the only lord of the three who can have her trauma openly belittled at any point in the story by Byleth, all to have some cheap cutesy uwu moment about her fear of rats (calling her screaming in fear cute and INSISTING that it's really cute which is just. Fucking ew man)! Why can we fucking mock Edelgard's manner of speech during the MASSACRE OF REMIRE?
This shit doesn't happen to Claude or Dimitri! And saying "oh just don't pick those options then" is bullshit because no equivalent options exist for the male lords! It's piss-boilingly annoying that the second you choose to see things from the strong confident villainous ambitious female lord's perspective you can reduce her down to this bumbling moeblob just for you (sometimes unavoidably!) like!! Dude!
#legit not even sure what to tag this because for once I'm going to bat for Edelgard LMAO her writing treats her BAD when it comes to this#this is also a huge thing that fucks me off from liking Edel/eth because Byleth can be SUCH a huge fucking dick to her for no reason#and can be UNIQUELY mean to her for no reason. off the cuff i can't think of another character you can have Byleth act like this to#and most of this shit is well before Byleth as a character has any real reason to actively dislike her so they're just.#bullying Edelgard for fun?? I guess??#among uh. other reasons the ship doesn't exactly Work Out lmao#but yeah for CF it really REALLY brings down my ability to enjoy it fully despite me REALLY wanting to#because it encapsulates just how like. shallowly Edelgard can be written?#because it's not just that no character can meaningfully react to everything she's done (though that is a huge factor too)#but also as SOON as the writing wants you to REALLY like her it goes out of its way to diminish her powerful presence and UwU her#and not to say that she doesn't have her powerful moments - she does! and they're really great to see!#but that her cutesy moments stand out SO much BECAUSE the other two lords very noticeably have nothing akin to that for them#like. you can't jokingly call Claude a loser for having no friends growing up due to the racism he faced#you can't pretend to be one of voices Dimitri hears to fuck with him#you straight up CANNOT joke about their trauma which like. duh?? why would you??#but Edelgard just woke up from a horrible nightmare and that's just the perfect setup for a sex joke#and it's perfectly fine to joke about forgetting what Edelgard said about her trauma she opened up to them about cuz ''she said to forget''#and it's a-okay for Byleth to brush off her opening up about why she has a rat phobia to embarrass her over drawing them#WHY CAN YOU DO THIS. or better yet WHY *CAN'T* YOU DO THIS TO THE OTHER TWO.#it is just so brazenly sexist and i hate it every time i think about it 😭
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ywpd-translations · 5 months ago
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Ride 784: The first day's mountain
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Pag 1
3: We're passing through the riverside road
4: I see it
6: Kaka
7: Ah!!
8: Teh!
9: It's the first day's
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Pag 2
1: “mountain”!!
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Pag 3
2: As we “promised”!!
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Pag 4
3: It's the “first day's mountain stage”!!
4: A year ago
6: Manami-kun said it after the finish line, on the third and last day of the Inter High, when both of us were all worn out and barely still on our bikes
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Pag 5
1: But having our race at the end on the final stage is too much pressure
2: Next year, if we both have the chance to run in the Inter High....
3: …. yeah
4: Let's race for the mountain stage on the first day
Yeah
5: Like Toudou-san and Makishima-san last year
Onoda!!
Manami-san!!
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Pag 6
1: Manami!!
Manami-san!!
2: Onoda!!
3: He collapsed!!
Manami!! Take off his helmet
It's okay, I caught him
Onodaa!!
Onoda-san
Do we have a towel?
Danchiku, water!!
4: Next year... the mountain stage on the first day.... yeah
5: Got it....!!
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Pag 7
3: When you run along a river....
4: the water only flows if there's a difference in elevation, either uphill or downhill!!
5: Here it's definitely uphill!!
Even if it looks like a flat at first glance, it's gradually climbing!!
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Pag 8
1: Toward that mountain!!
Reading the map, it says that it's 5km until the base of the mountain!!
2: 5km!!
3: Don't lose sight of it like last year!!
Yes!! Sorry!!
4: Hold on tight!!
5: 'Cause I'll carry you all the way to the foot of the mountain!!
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Pag 9
1: Thank you!!
2: “Positioning”....!!
3: When going from a flat to a climb you need to “position” yourself
Each team accelerates from the flats in order to bring their climbers to a good position
4: It's the so called “mountain's launching pad”!!
5: There will be a difference of several hundred meters in the first stage between a climber who was launched near the front of the group and a climber who was made to run up from the back of the group
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Pag 10
1: Bring Onoda to the best possible position, Naruko!!
Oh-
Sohoku is moving up!!
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Pag 11
1: -ruaaaagh
Ugh!! Sohoku's Naruko is so fast!!
2: I get what you're tryin to say, Hotshot!!
I'll take him!! Definitely!!
3: That's why I left the first result to Kabu!!
4: On that winter day, with an apologetic face
5: Ah....
6: Ah- uhm, I have something to tell you, but
Onoda-kun, who told us like it was difficult to say....
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Pag 12
1: Ah the stove? You can just turn it off, we're the last ones
Yeah, please. Woah, look outside, it's snowing
Seriously? It must be cold
2: That's not it!!
3: Th-th- this morning... I got a text
4: What was that, an acceptance letter?
The proficiency exam?
5: It's a reply to the text I sent....
6: Three months ago!!
7: Uhm... really, I was worried that back when we made that promise it was right after the race and we were tired, so I thought maybe he had forgotten
Three months?
It was a long wait
So I sent him a text to ask him if he remembers?
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Pag 13
1: And I received it this morning
Must be the proficiency test
Shut up!!
What are you whispering idiot
“Back when”, when was it?
No idea
2:He said only one word, “of course”
4: So, uhm... this time
5: Is it okay if I run for the first day's mountain stage during this summer's Inter High?
7: Is that so? Kakaka
Onoda-kun's eyes, like he couldn't contain his excitement...
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Pag 14
1: I haven't forgotten it!!
2: I can't forget it!!
3: Onoda!!
Onoda-kun!!
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Pag 15
1: 2km left until the foot of the mountain!!
2: Do your beeest....!!
Aren't they climbing at an amazing speed!? Each team is getting in line!!
Yeah, you're right!!
3: Every team is trying to “position” themselves for their climbers!!
“Position”!?
4: Also, look closely
Right now, the cyclist in the second position in the ranks
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Pag 16
1: is the one who will race in the mountain stage!!
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Pag 18
1: Oi, are you kidding me? Hakogaku is sending Manami?
From the first day!?
Manami is in second place
2: He's the “final boss”....!!
3: My dream of getting the red bib has been destroyed even before reaching the foot of the mountain....!!
4: Oi, look over there, that's not all!!
For Sohoku....
5: Naruko is pulling the “King of the mountain”!!
Wa- we're done for!! Completely!! My mountain prize!!
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Pag 19
3: Manami-kun!!
4: Sakamichi-kun!!
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Pag 20
1: It's time for our promise!!
We're almost at the foot of the mountain!!
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beepeircings · 19 days ago
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I support whatever the hell team PE has going on like yess girlsss make an entire civilization literally underneath you and your teamate's feet so that you can forcefully get your teamate to reveal to you his sick and twisted secret yesss girlss !!! Instead of confronting him normally like a normal person 🤩🤩🤩 !!
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moeblob · 3 months ago
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son boy raccoon trash can man suffering in a dnd au as a cleric bc his warlock will not stop committing murders and he has to keep coming up with reasons murder is valid to convince the gm its fine and under control
#my characters#oops i fell in love#right is trying his best in the au to think about all the logic behind killing someone despite being a cleric SPECIFICALLY#bc he refuses to hurt anyone irl or in dnd and ok fine their warlock can have a little murder as a treat#and the body count is adding up and hes like ... so tired..... please can you not kill for five minutes im running out of excuses#fwiw he has the weird logic of the group in the base plot and the guy who is the gm here#is v open about ok but if we ask right then hell give an unhinged answer completely thought out and rationalized#and in fact asks him hey i know you refuse to hurt people but im having a debate with these two coworkers#if you had to commit a crime for aaaaaanyone on the planet who would you commit a crime for#and he doesnt even hesitate to say luca obviously to which the asker is like WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER#YOU WANNA MARRY HER AND WONT COMMIT A CRIME FOR HER? but LUCA? of all people???? not even brent?#and right is just so confused because first off brent would probably be the one committing a crime for him without being forced#(brent agrees with this statement with a shrug) and second off luca has really weird coworkers and thought he was getting stalked for a bit#due to a misunderstanding with said one weird coworker so yeah obviously right would threaten the guy with a gun which is illegal and#third and final how could he face his beloved angel (the daughter mentioned above) if he was a criminal#he cant tarnish a sweet little innocent girls opinion by committing a crime IN HER NAME gosh fuck off with that attitude#he has STANDARDS thank you very much#and the three at the table are all like okay yeah that was really thought out on the fly youre right#also brent do not commit any crimes for him please and brent just nods in agreement bc ok he wont commit a crime unprompted#also hi animal crossing emotes are so fun to doodle for bye#once again i am baffled by how different the colors look on my laptop in the art program vs posting to tumblr#im going to go insane at how different they look#IM COLOR PICKING FOR MY OWN OCS AND ITS SO WRONG LOOKING IDK MAN
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howtodisappearcompletelyand · 3 months ago
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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reel-fear · 9 days ago
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If you want my opinion, I think we should give Lone Wolf the benefit of the doubt, yes it does look a little bit cheap in some areas but the game does look pretty fun and both the art and characters are still on point. Alice and Sammy are also returning so that’s a plus! I think it’s best that we stay optimistic for this game and Bendy’s future.
That's fair and I respect your opinion, I think my thing is I'm worried people are too optimistic about Bendy's future games being better than the ones they've already created because the team behind Bendy is very anti-listening to feedback. Which means it's likely these games won't improve unless fans make a bigger push to be more critical of them and show the devs they won't spend their money unless the team can prove they care about this franchise and aren't gonna let the polish drain just because it makes more money.
I criticize Bendy not because I want it to die or be bad, I only do it because I hope one day either 1. A competitor rises up and gives the fans essentially a better version of Bendy that they deserve and they can use my feedback and others to see where it can be improved. or 2. The bendy team listens to my feedback and the general fandom's to make future games better. Plus generally get their act together.
As it stands the trailer is rushed and cheap, which is bad because a trailer for a game should be the most polished part of the affair. I mean this is what is supposed to convince people to buy the game when it comes out! I had the same problems with The Cage and I'm unhappy to see this becoming a pattern. [I mean that's a game I'm even more confident is going to horribly crash and burn cause I honestly don't know why'd they make a midquel to a game which everyone hated the ending of-]
Look. I understand some people feel a sort of loyalty to the Bendy devs, it's hard not to feel like you're in some sort of friendship when it comes to such a small indie team. But at the end of the day you have to remember defending them when they mess up only gives them more reasons to ignore feedback and most of all you don't know Mike or Meatly as people outside of what they Choose to show in their public image. So when the public image they've crafted is one that's bad and leaves people worried about how the games they're making are gonna turn out. Nobody can be blamed but them. And if you really care about them and/or Bendy it's better to boost feedback even if it's negative.
Like sure Sammy and Malice are returning but look at the treatment they got in Dark Revival! Meatly and Mike have never addressed how poorly done the original characters were in that game and I think it's cause far as they're concerned it was perfectly fine and people are complaining about nothing. [That or enough people didn't seem to care for it to matter to them whether that point was valid or not] Despite the fact Sammy was shot down for a gag after finally speaking up [and was in a ton of Dark Revival marketing material] and Malice was nothing more than a rip off of her chapter 3 self with no interesting changes, we never got to hear her thoughts on how the world is doing, on how she feels now hearing her enemy, the ink demon, was supposedly killed, or on Wilson, the keepers, etc. I mean it was a huge waste and with the promise Sammy will be 'restored to his Chapter 2 glory' I want to call this poor writing out now rather than wait for the cage to come out and pretend I never saw it coming.
Criticism is a good thing for Bendy, we should embrace it rather than shunning or discouraging it. I hope most of us can agree on that. Even if I seem harsh, I would rather lean towards that, than risk going too easy with my words and being ignored by the devs.
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iraprince · 11 months ago
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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❤️ 🍭 💙 🍬 💟
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imminent-danger-came · 2 years ago
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do you think MK is gonna have a circlet arc?? Going along with your eldritch mk theory jt could parallel his past life being contained and also more parallels to SWK and MK how fun
This ask has haunted my ask box for 3 days. Circlet arc??? CIRCLET ARC???? THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE AND SO SO SO GOOD.
I have no idea if it would actually happen in show, but I have a feeling MK is at the very least going to have an "anti-circlet" arc. Go with me for a moment:
So, we know MK's bandana parallels Wukong's phoenix feathers in design, right?
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MK with the two ends of his bandana and Wukong with the two feathers coming out of his cap.
However, MK's bandana is ALSO a parallel to Wukong's circlet:
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And MK was given this bandana by Pigsy (presumably):
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This is basically a long winded way to say that MK has already been "crowned", in a sense. Unlike Wukong, MK never needed to be controlled in the same way his mentor did at the beginning of his journey. MK, instead, was given morals and love by our wonderful Dadsy from a young age, which effectively functioned as a "circlet", if that makes sense.
So, the bandana, a symbol of both who he is/was raised to be and the crown, is already his circlet. As MK is now, he doesn't need a circlet to exert control over him because of who he is—a good kid who is trying his best to make the right choices.
But, you know, there was that really scary scene that one time where MK didn't exactly feel like MK and he kind of went off the rails...and...WHAT IS THAT
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HIS BANDANA WAS DAMAGED BY HIMSELF IN AN EPISODE TITLED "Rip and Tear" !!?!??!?!?
SO.
Say MK were to rip his own bandana off, symbolically showing his complete decent into his "harbinger of chaos" role...that would mean another crown would have to go on to replace it, right?
Whether MK get's crowned symbolically with another bandana or an ACTUAL circlet remains to be seen, but the potential is definitely there! And I'm normal about it
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celtrist · 2 months ago
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking “I want merch”#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a “quantity over quality” thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of “garbage” (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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bigcats-birds-and-books · 1 month ago
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Books of 2024: November Wrap-Up.
Hi, y'all! I'm actually shocked that I managed to get through four (4) books this month, because it was NANO and I also WROTE A WHOLE BOOK!! The (written) book in its two notebooks is pictured beneath the pen and NaNo Earrings :)
All of these reads were NaNo-adjacent, somehow (I like to stack my reading with my writing project so all the Vibes are Correct)--either Space, or Haunted, or Fucked Up Fungi (I wrote a weird book this month)(I had a great time).
Photos and/or reviews linked:
A HALF-BUILT GARDEN - ★★★½ I enjoyed this! It was very slow and contemplative, and I was surprised by how long it took me to read (#NaNoProblems), but I'm glad I did, and Rhamnetin was a DELIGHT.
JUST LIKE HOME - ★★★★ Reread for me, holds up very well! Star rating unchanged from first time through. I actually do recommend rereading this one, knowing exactly when Daphne dies.
GRAVEYARD SHIFT - ★★★½ I enjoyed this one too! Short fun weird little insomnia romp. Love a good fucked up fungus and a motley POV crew.
THE NIGHT GUEST - ★★★★ This was DEEPLY fucked up and AMAZINGLY crafted horror/suspense, and I definitely had delayed nightmares about it. I also love a good spec fic in translation (this one's from Icelandic!). Cats are NOT safe, very graphically so, so proceed with caution if that's a warning you need.
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. (Example: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2024#books of 2024: november wrap-up#a half-built garden#ruthanna emrys#just like home#sarah gailey#graveyard shift#m.l. rio#the night guest#hildur knutsdottir#did i mention that i WROTE A WHOLE BOOK??#okay well like. a Compost Draft book lol. a Rotting Slough Of Good Ideas Book (affectionate)#i had a Revelation this year about my prep process and why my last four years have felt so rushed (spoiler: the root cause is LIVING HERE)#BUT! it's because i thrive on two (2) months of prep#it shakes out to like a month of brainstorming and then a month of carding/plotting/prewriting i think#but i've been speedrunning books since. 2021. which. was fine that year#because i set out to make a mess in a month (and it was a retelling)#fine in 2022 because that was self-indulgent crossover no plot or worldbuilding required#NOT fine in 2023 because i had an Actual Book i wanted to do and i rushed the prep and then i was grumpy#because i assumed i was writing a first draft but it was more like a compost draft#but not recognizing that made it not fun#THIS year i FINALLY understood what people mean when they say 'draft zero' (which does not work for me. because a draft on page exists/not0#and i realized i was basically doing that--halfway writing a book and halfway brainstorming on page#but KNOWING that fixed me because it Freed Me lol. so i think of this as compost draft#(appropriate for fungus book)#it's a full mess but it's MY mess and there's some good stuff in there#but for it (like for 2021 which i also knew). i will have to literally rewrite the book from the ground up#to make it a First Draft#i did not intentionally set out to do this with last year's so it wasn't fun :(#BUT I HAD FUN THIS YEAR THIS'LL BE A NEAT BOOK WHEN IT'S LEGIBLE
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driftwooddestiel · 1 month ago
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ngl i think a lot of the people who hate* on australian taskmaster just arent acclimatised to australian comedy and comedians like. the vast majority of contestants are well established comedians here with their own ‘characters’ that are being played into by tom gleeson himself . like idk. his making fun of wil in s2 probably came off as needlessly harsh to people unfamiliar with wil anderson’s popularity and continued presence hosting shows in the australian comedy sphere since like the early 2000s, but to the average australian viewer AKA the target audience of the show, its obviously intended as a joke and its funny because we have the context! idk what im even saying i just think people are especially harsh on the non-british tm adaptations because they arent as immersed in other countries’ comedy spheres as the UK’s and its unfair that people seem to expect foreign taskmasters to be equally enjoyable to a fan of the OG taskmaster who hasnt bothered to get the background on the cultural context . and also i wish people would stop expecting every taskmaster and assistant to perfectly replicate greg and alex’s dynamic… its simply not going to happen!!! there’s no reason for it to happen. the foreign variants are made for the audience in the country! meaning they are not made with the intention of being a copy of the original to please fans of the original. argh
*hate is not the right word really, its a bit too intense compared to what im talking about . i just cant think of a better word rn
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mishkakagehishka · 3 months ago
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I'm honestly fully ready to just call my bank and tell them to do a chargeback but i'm giving the college bureaucracy a chance first. But as i said. I don't care who does it and how i get it, those €80 are gonna be back in my bank account by the end of october or so help me
#i didn't even tell youse about the fun i had at the student office#i got there i asked the guy at the counter what's happening with my enrolment process bc it has been on ''process has started'' for a week#and then some. this guy tells me they're testing a bot or whatever that automatically ''starts'' the process when the payment has been#received. so i'm like okay wtf. he goes to check my request manually but i notice he's looking at the one with a page of text#and that's my second request where i explained i want my money back so i go hey hey hey that's actually my refund request#this man goes and asks why i enrolled if i hadn't had all my exam grades marked yet#i look this man in the eye and say ''i wanted to ensure i'd be enrolled on time'' and he goes quiet#because i'm assuming he realised i tried to enrol the very day enrolments opened and here i was two days before they closed in the#student office asking wtf was happening to my enrolment process#so anyway. he goes and tells me i need to cancel my enrolment and enrol again and that he'll forward my refund request but can't#guarantee anything. and i'm like sure fine but now my scholarship page says i don't have to pay anything#so like whatever decision you lot make my bank is gonna know i made a payment i didn't have to make#and that if you refuse to refund me i'm getting a chargeback. so you know.#in any case i did all i could to make sure i was enrolled on time and still had to be on edge bc i had to restart the process two days#before the enrolment period ended. i deserve those €80 and then some
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scentedluminarysoul · 8 days ago
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As an older person who's been active in fandom and shipping for literally over 20 years now, this current trend I see in fandom spaces is frightening
People are trying to defend and explain away every problematic in the media they like, because they feel like they're morally bad for liking things with problematic topics
They're obsessed with only liking morally good and perfect things. They cannot allow themselves to like anything less than morally pure
So what they're doing is they're looking at something that they know is bad, and then try and explain it away, using pop-psy to "explain" why it's actually NOT problematic and it's good actually, you just don't get it
When in reality, what you should do, and what's helpful to do, is recognizing these problematic things, acknowledge them as problematic, become aware that in reality, these would be really bad and understand WHY. And then move on and still enjoy the thing because it's fiction
You are allowed to like fiction with bad topics and bad implications. It doesn't make you a bad person
When someone tells you they're an abuse survivor and they recognize a lot of what happened to them in that media you like, you shouldn't then go: "No, actually, you're wrong for seeing it that way and you're just uninformed and don't know what you're talking about and it's not even really abuse because (xyz) and (random invented caveats) and you're stupid for even thinking that."
Because here's thing: different people will view the same thing from different angles. And that's okay. Normal even. Expected and good. You cannot hurt a fictional character by calling them an abuser.
You can, however, hurt a real person by telling them that the abuse they suffered wasn't *really* abuse and that they're just too stupid to know what they're talking about. (This is especially egregious in gaslighting survivors imho, but I'm biased here)
Excusing abuse and making up rules as to why it's not ~technically~ abuse in the first place? That's what abusers do, sorry to say.
All this to say:
You are allowed to like things that have bad topics. It doesn't make you a bad person.
You are allowed to recognize "oh man, this main character is really sexist" and then go on watching the show and have fun with it
You are allowed to recognize "oof, that main couple is pretty abusive" and then go on to root for them
It's GOOD to recognize issues in the stuff you like, to critically engage with it
And still liking it doesn't make you a bad person, far from it
I keep coming back to that point because that's the crux of the current fandom purity culture going on:
People seem to have collectively decided that thought crimes exist
They don't. What you consume in fiction says NOTHING about who YOU ARE as a person, about your morals and convictions
But how you engage with media, and other people with differing opinions does
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