#and they never fight clown vampires

[wood-white-writer]

"Didn't mean to make your heart Blue" || [5/...]

“Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down, I'll be there on their side. I'm losing by their side.”

— Mitski, "Bet On Losing Dogs"

Pairing: Buggy the Clown (Live action) x F!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6

Summary: You were an apprentice of Gol D. Roger’s crew in your youth, long before his eventual demise. Along with the Red-Haired Shanks and Buggy, you were a formidable trio; the embodiment of a new generation of pirates yet to come. But times changed, and so did you and your friends. 

It's been a few weeks since the events in Orange Town, and Luffy notices something that others do not. So, he decides to ask you.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, LA!Verse, No (fully bodied) Buggy this chapter, Luffy being the precious cinnamon we all love and must protect above all else, flashbacks about Shanks, past discussions, Luffy and Reader have a heart-to-heart.

A/N: I was initially going to write them going to the Baratie this chapter, but it became too long so next one for sho.

Taglist:@kurinhimenezu, @carpinchootaku, @ay0nha, @teh-vampire-bunny, @lokiscure, @internationalsuper-spy @detectivesparrow , @yuriwk, @notyuralycat, @angeli-fucking-cat, @machinema7k (If you want to be tagged for this story, just send me a message or leave a comment :))

You're sitting by the table in Party's bar, nursing a cold glass of rum against your cracked lips as you observe to the kid - Luffy - demonstrating his newfound Devil Fruit powers without any regard for poor Makino's furniture. 

You don't get him, at all. Then again, you don’t get kids. 

You've never thought of yourself as someone who easily got along with them ... or people in general. Shanks has always been the better-suited one for that kind of work. Whereas he is smiling and grinning at the kid’s mischief, you've barely offered him more than a glance at most.

Your crew has been positioned in Foosha village for the better part of the month, stacking up on resources and food in preparation for your next job. Incidentally, the Red-Haired Pirates also happened to be in town for similar excursions. You rarely see Shanks nowadays since you parted ways several years ago, but whenever you happen to come across one another, you share a drink on his tab.

While your crew is around and about, replenishing their strength and vigor for the work to come, you're content with just sitting here at your leisure. When you're not plundering or fighting or attacking Marine bases, you can't find it in yourself to do much of anything anymore. 

Nothing adds any purpose to your life save for what keeps you fed and clothed, which in the life of a pirate, simply means pirating.

"I've heard you had good fortune on your latest heist," Shanks says from where he's sitting opposite of you. "For your efforts, the Marines have granted you among the highest bounties in all of the East-Blue."

You hum noncommittally in response, not offering much to the conversation in terms of merriment. "The quality of the Marines has been in decline. It says more about their effort, or lack thereof, than mine."

"Do you know what they call you nowadays?"

"They call me a lot of names, you got to be more specific."

"'Cross-Hairs, the Beast of the East'. It's got a certain ring to it, don't you think?"

"Sure."

Shanks smiles the kind way he always does. Always has done.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!" 

The sound of yet another chair breaking has you rolling your eyes without even looking, and poor Makino ages ten years in seconds across the bar counter. 

"Luffy!"

"Sorry!"

Shanks laughs heartedly at the display, only to cut it short upon noticing Makino's even glare sent his way from across the bar. 

"You were careless," you state matter-of-factly and take another gulp from your drink. "You should've kept the fruit hidden more securely."

"Now, in my defense, I didn't think the lad would searching through my loot."

"Well, you should've." You slam your glass down, strong enough to leave a dent in the wooden surface. "What kind of captain leaves his loot undefended and unsupervised? Especially when it contains a Devil Fruit?"

Shanks doesn't argue with your statement and settles with taking a gulp of his own drink, letting your words simmer in his head. "You're right, I should've been more observant. Now, it'll be more difficult for him to achieve his dream."

"His dream? Of what? Becoming the King of the Pirates?" Try as you might, there's no suppressing the snort that escapes through your nose. "There's only ever been one King, and we all saw what happened to him. What do you think is going to happen to a kid who can't even swim?"

"Oh, come off it!" He gives you a playful nudge to the rib, which you reciprocate with a glare. He remains undeterred. "You mean to tell me you've never thought about finding the One Piece? Not even once?"

"I have no interest in whatever plunder Gol D. left behind." 

"Then, what does interest you?" He rests his elbow on the edge of the table and leans over to your side. "What is your dream?"

You grit your teeth under your lips, a flash of blue circulating in your head. "Dreams are for fools and children," you point your head to where Luffy is currently sitting, trying to put the chair back together with a half-empty tube of glue and little luck. 

"Come on, I know you better than that. Surely there's something in this world you want more than anything?"

"What I want is ..." You have half a mind to tell him the truth, whereas the other half wants to push the idea further down to the bottom of your chest. "Is another bottle of rum."

You raise your arm to Makino to gesture for another one, but Shanks is quick to lower it with a gentle shove of his arm. You flash him a scowl and brush off his hand, but unlike your crew or anyone else, he's not afraid.

"The point which I'm trying to make before you're completely pissed," he starts. "Is that no matter how much opposition one faces, it's that dreams are never out of reach if you have the will to reach for them."

He inclines his head over your shoulder, and you turn around to see Luffy successfully putting the chair back together. You don't know how he did it - it looked pretty busted minutes ago - but there it is, wholly intact.

And when the boy smiles, it's so vibrant and full of joy that it's almost blinding. He proudly runs over and shows the repaired chair to Makino, who proceeds to pat his head and hand him a plate of food.

"See?" Shanks grins. "Nothing is impossible."

"You can hardly consider putting a chair back together the same as achieving an impossible goal."

He shrugs. "Maybe not, but you won't know unless you try. All it takes is a little spirit."

You watch Shanks for a couple of minutes in silence, processing his mythic words, then shift your attention over to Luffy who's preoccupied with shoving an unholy amount of food into his mouth. If this is to become the future King of the Pirates one day, then it'll be an interesting future indeed.

"A little spirit, huh?" 

— — —

You're sad.

Luffy first notices it when you leave Orange Town, and it lingers throughout your voyage. 

For as long as he's known you, you've always been a person of relatively few words; never speaking unless you feel the situation requires it, and only acting when necessary. Even following the Kuro situation™, getting the Going Merry, and adding Usopp to his crew, he can tell that you're not all there anymore.

Not to be mistaken, you're not conspicuous with the way you behave. You still act like usual, talk like usual, however little, and commit yourself to your work on the ship, almost to an excessive extent. 

All in all, nothing’s changed about you. However, he’s gotten used to your face and general lack of expression most of the time, and though it doesn't seem to alter, he still catches onto the fact that you're sad. 

"Hey," he asks the group and props himself in the kitchen, legs crossed atop his seat. "Do you think she's any different?"

"Who? Your friend?" Nami asks, raising an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well, I think she's sad."

"Doesn't look any different to me," Zoro supplies while polishing his swords on the table. 

Usopp's in the middle of munching a piece of loaf, and answers with his mouth still halfway occupied. "Dunno how she usually is, but she's kinda terrifying if you ask me."

"No, she's not," Luffy dismisses lightly. 

"What's her position on the ship, anyhow? How'd you come across her?"

"She's always been with me," Luffy answers without any thought. "And she’s a good fighter.”

Zoro — to everyone’s surprise — nods his head to this in concurrence.

Their Captain claps his hands together to get the subject back on track. "But anyway, I just think she seems kind of down now."

"How can you even tell? With eyes like these, —” Usopp puts both of his index fingers at the crow’s feet of his eyes and draws them back to imitate yours. It’s borderline shameful, truth be told. “— I can’t tell for shit what she’s feeling or thinking.”

“I just can.” Luffy shrugs.

“Has she said anything?” Nami asks. “Anything to make you ask?”

“No, not really.” He heaves a sigh and props his hand under his chin, contemplating. “But she's been different since we left Orange Town.”

"If you ask me," Zoro speaks up. "You should ask her about her relationship with that fucking clown."

"Who? Boogie?"

"Buggy," Nami corrects. "Didn't you notice that at the end? They have a history, it's obvious. They know each other, and I don't know what pirate customs are like nowadays, but I doubt you'd touch the face of an enemy unless there was something going on. Has she said anything about it?"

Luffy shakes his head. “No... but then again, she never does tell me much about anything unless I ask.”

The tangerine-haired girl blinks as if the answer to this whole predicament is obvious. She quickly comes to realize that, to Luffy, it’s not.

“So…” she prompts slowly.

“So…?”

She rolls her eyes at his inability to catch her drift. “Go ask her.”

It’s like the thought never even crossed Luffy’s mind in the first place because truth be told, it hasn’t. He lights up like a candlestick on the spot. “Yeah, I should just ask her!”

“Ask me what?”

The members of the Straw Hat pirates (save for Zoro) withdraw in various unique positions, having not heard you make your entrance before you speak. 

You’re standing in the doorway to the kitchen, eyebrow slightly quirked at the Baroque-esque scene in front of you. Deciding not to address the display, you simply ask, “Anything I should know about, Captain Luffy?”

Usopp doesn’t even dare to answer, because he knows you sure as hell don’t see him as a captain in general, much less your captain. He swears he notices you briefly look in his direction at the mention of the title, and a shiver runs across his skin. Like static electricity in the air.

“Oh, yeah,” Luffy turns to you, not an ounce of fear in his eyes as he pops the question. “Are you sad?”

You blink once, then twice, like the inquiry on its own is of unfathomable origins to you. “Do I look sad?”

The boy in the straw hat nods. “I think you do.”

“Then I’m not.” It’s not only an answer, but also a sentence that marks this subject as finished on your part. One that does not permit any subsequent additions.

You incline your head to the deck above. “We’re going to have company soon, likely Marines, and they seem to be in supply of heavy fire this time.”

———

The situation with the aforementioned opponents temporarily distracts the crew, yet Luffy maintains a close eye on you, taking note of anything that can point him to the source of the unknown problem. You talk relatively little with the other crew members, but you seem to have developed an amicable enough relationship with them compared to when you first met. 

Before, you could care less about getting to know them. Now, you’re actively going out of your way to ask Nami about her cartographic skills, even giving her tips for additions to her geographical detailing. You provide Zoro pointers on self-developed defensive techniques and ways to paralyze opponents in certain spots (which he seems appreciative of).

You even give Usopp a short nod when he tells you one of his fantastical stories, even knowing that they’re full of shit.

Luffy’s happy, but he still sees that you are not.

It’s all in your eyes. They’re hollow somehow, like the end of a barrel. He doesn’t know how he knows, only that he knows, and he’s known for a good while now.

So, that night, Luffy finds you in the kitchen by the windows, absentmindedly snacking on a red apple while you gaze into the dark nothingness outside. He also discovers that he’s subconsciously become quite observant of your habits as of late. 

For example, you specifically pick red apples above any other color when they happen to dock someplace, not even paying any mind to the green or yellow ones. Just the red ones.

“Hey,” he positions himself next to you on the bench, a piece of loaf tight in his hand. “Why are you sad?”

You turn your head just a fraction to the side to look at him, not annoyed, but not appreciative of the focus he’s settled on as of late. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? The Vice-Admiral looks a little weary as of late, after all. Are you sad about it?"

"Nope."

“So why do you insist that I’m sad?”

“Because you are,” he states like it’s obvious.

You huff humorously and return your attention to the window that supplies no real view. “How can you tell?”

“I just can.” He takes a generous bite of his food and continues talking, oblivious to the crumbles that fall while doing so. “When I’m sad, I—”

“Eat?”

“Well, yeah.” He swallows the bite down. “But I also like to talk about it with someone I trust. Shanks used to say that true friends are the kind of people you can share your heart with and not get hurt.”

This annoys you, that much he can tell. A nail digs into the apple you’re holding, leaving a crescent-shaped indent on the red skin. “Shanks said many things, and not all of it's true.”

This doesn’t deter him from pressing on the matter. “If you keep all the hurt inside, it’s going to turn bad. You know, Makino said that if you leave a piece of ham in the fridge too long, it’ll get sour and people can’t eat it.”

“Only you could find a way to compare this sort of thing to food.” You withdraw your finger from the apple and end up leaving it alone altogether. A minute or ten of silence waves between you, laced with unspoken questions and denied answers. “Tell me, Luffy, just how much did Shanks tell you about his past?”

He thinks for a moment, mimicking your movements by putting his loaf aside. “Just about his adventures with the Red-Haired Pirates, and a little about the time you served with him. Is it true you were strong enough to throw a three-hundred-pound man to the ground when you were thirteen?”

He swears it’s a snort that he catches leaving your throat, but it’s hard to differentiate it from your more-than-usual scoffs. “He exaggerated.”

“Really?”

“The man was two-fifty, at most.”

Luffy grins with genuine admiration, so much so that your face tilts back slightly, being overwhelmed by the mere brightness that is him. “Wow! You must’ve been quite a beast when you were a kid!”

He notices it again, the sadness that latches onto your eyes like insects to sour meat. Whatever brief smile adorned your lips moments ago disappears like it was never there at all. Thinking he said something wrong, Luffy prepares to apologize when you speak again.

Your voice is soft yet faint like you’re afraid speaking too loudly will make something bad happen. “It wasn’t just me and Shanks, back then, you know.”

The Captain of the Straw Hats thinks it’s almost unnatural of you to be this demure, but he doesn’t interrupt you.

“Buggy was there, too. It was the three of us, together.”

“Oh, yeah.” He remembers it now. “He did mention that in Orange Town. You served the same crew.”

“… He did, did he?”

“He said you and Shanks betrayed him, but I didn’t believe him.” Luffy knows you and has known you for longer than he’s known a lot of people in his life. You’re one of the few permanent people he’s had, and he knows with a certainty that you’re not the kind of person who leaves anyone behind, not without reason. 

Even if you did have a reason for leaving Buggy, it must have been a good one.

Your mouth opens and shuts several times in the span of a minute like you’re hesitating to talk about the past. You’ve never been one to talk about it, except to share some details about your time as captain, and even that was limited to the bare minimum.

Still, Luffy, being in no hurry for you to reach an answer, waits patiently by your side until you do decide to talk about it.

Talk about what he believes is the reason for your sadness.

“We were close back in the days,” you begin slowly. “Me, him, and Shanks. It was us against the rest of the world, and we were going to sail together to the end of the seas one day. It was our dream.”

“Then, what happened?”

You put your palm over both your eyes and rest your elbow on the window frame, heaving a sigh that resembles someone who’s spent too much of their life working and working and working without catching any breaks. Pure, simple exhaustion weighs you down, Luffy can tell. 

When you speak next, you sound tired too, and perhaps a little strained. He can’t see your eyes, and so, he can’t truthfully tell what you’re thinking now. “The thing is, I don’t know what happened. All I know is that he decided he didn’t want to stick around.” You breathe through your nostrils. “Our captain was gone, and so was the crew, but we three were still together, and I thought we were going to stay together.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No … We didn’t. I don’t know what happened, but one day when I was talking with Shanks about what to do next, Buggy came in, and it … He looked at me like … Like he hated me.” You exhale. “He did hate me, and I don’t know what it was I did, but he practically told me that we were done … And then he left. I never saw him again, up until Orange Town.”

Luffy doesn’t require your eyes this time to tell that you’re sad now because you are. You’re so sad that it’s destroying you from the inside, and even that is an understatement on its own. There are no tears trickling down your cheeks, no quivers or thickness to your voice, no nothing to base his assumptions on, but he knows.

He stays silent for a short while, doing nothing but look at you. You’re one of the strongest people he knows. He’s seen you fight; seen the strength you possess, the fire in your eyes. You’ve stayed with him ever since Shanks left Foosha Village, you’ve looked after him from the sidelines when you thought no one was watching. 

You’ve been with him throughout everything, and seeing you like this makes him feel blue on your behalf. You don’t express it yourself – you never do. You carry your weight with the same kind of strength you always do, never letting anyone see you beyond just that, and sometimes, he wonders if you’re lonely because of it. 

At least, now he knows why you’re so sad. You’re heartbroken.

He’s never been acquainted with the feeling himself, has never felt any particular inclination toward it, but he can tell it’s your heart that’s hurting now, and it’s not as easy to heal as that cuts he received on his chest from the butler.

His hat seems to itch the harder he thinks about it, as if there’s something digging at his scalp through his hat. He thought Nami patched it up for him. He tries to scratch at it, but for some reason, it doesn’t cease. Maybe he’s got lice? 

He ignores it. “It’s weird. Bunky seems to think you were the one who left him for Shanks.”

“I didn’t.”

“I know. You’re not that kind of person.” He says it so easily, without a smidgen of doubt or hesitation. You look at him through your peripheral vision, and your eyes slightly widen at his statement. “But, do you know what happened between them? Shanks and Bonky, I mean?”

“No, I don’t.” You admit with a shake of your head. You’ve tried to figure it out for years, and at some point, you decided to give up. “Shanks never told me, but whatever it was, it was enough for the stupid clown to leave for… He chose a childish rivalry over me.”

“Then, there you have it. It’s all just a big misunderstanding, so why don’t you just tell him if you meet him again?”

“You seem awfully defensive of the guy who destroyed an entire village and almost drowned you.”

“Yeah, but talking about him seems to make you happy.”

You freeze for a bit, snort, and turn your back to the window frame, leaning back and crossing your arms across your chest in silent resignation. “I tried to explain things to him back in Orange Town, and a fat load of good that did. Like I said, he hates me, and he’s sure as hell not my favorite person at the moment. If we do meet again, it likely won’t end any better than it back in Orange Town.”

“You know, –” Luffy takes another bite of his bread. “It didn’t sound like he hated you.”

“Hmm?” You raise an eyebrow, halfway curious and halfway skeptical. 

“He still remembers that you like red apples and that you hide knives in your shoes. Is that true?”

You raise both your eyebrows and look at Luffy like he’s just grown a second head. Without a word, you pull your left foot up until it rests on the bench, and withdraw not one or two knives, but four. Small and subtle, hardly enough to turn any heads, but in a flash, you throw it across the kitchen until it lands on a specific spot on the opposite wall. 

Bull’s eye.

“We used to have knife-throwing competitions,” you reminisce idly, staring at the knife lodged deep into the wall. “I was good, but Buggy was better.” Your lip tilts up an inch or two. “We made bets, and whoever lost would have to steal a bottle of whatever liquor we happened to find in the next town we docked at.”

“Oh?”

“I ended up snatching quite a lot of bottles, but once every blue moon, he would have to snatch one instead.” You smile. It’s an actual, genuine, honest smile this time, and Luffy can’t help but marvel at the sight. It’s a rare thing for you to smile like you’re doing now. It’s usually brief or sarcastic and never seems to reach your eyes. 

This one does.

He thinks you look pretty when you smile. It’s your smile, and it’s so warm that he wishes you could do it more often. He tells you as much, and a red color falls over your cheek. You promptly turn your face to the other side to save face, and it makes Luffy think.

When he thinks about his dream of becoming King of the Pirates, he can’t stop himself from smiling ear to ear. So, that begs the question: “What is your dream?” 

What makes you smile?

“My dream …” You reach for your apple and hold it against your face, the uneaten side of it shining against your face. “Is unattainable.

“I don’t think it is,” Luffy says without missing a beat and takes your hand in his, determined to make you see that. “I think that no matter how much stands against us, dreams are never impossible if you have the will to reach for them. All it takes is a little spirit.”

He doesn’t know where those words come from, but he’s heard them from someplace, and judging by your staggered reaction, you’ve heard them too. 

“A little spirit, huh?”

“Exactly! So, please tell me, what’s your dream?”

You look straight ahead into the room, resting your elbows back on the window frame without a word. He thinks you’re about to decline his question or ignore it altogether. However, he’s surprised to hear you actually answer this time, truthfully too.

“My dream was to sail the seas with him again.”

Suddenly, the itchiness on his head stops, and it stays that way.

[itsclydebitches]

Absolutely OBSESSED with this editing. A split screen to make it look like Ed and Stede are in the same space. Seen-as-naive-(and-also-kinda-actually-naive) "I don't care what any of you say, he's actually a good guy" Stede staring longingly and without any fear. Ed, who avoids killing anyone himself, staring without emotion as he (presumably) guns someone down. The angling so Stede is looking up at Ed and Ed's gun is pointed down at Stede's chest. Ed in full Blackbeard mode with at least four guns on his person. ("Fucking viking vampire clown... I—I have one gun and one knife, just like everyone else!") The contrast—the visual distance—of Stede traveling at night and Ed fighting during the day and the unexpected flip of hopeful Stede immersed in darkness (probably not as blindly optimistic as he's acting) and Ed surrounded by brightness and beauty (never as cold as he acts and holding onto more hope than he'll admit to—the cake toppers tell us that). All of this while Stede narrates a portion of his love letter, one that must reach Ed despite the unlikeliness of that happening, just as Ed's cloth will no doubt somehow return: "I think of you often. I hope you're thinking of me as well" like yEAH HE SURE IS BUT 'THINKING OF YOU' CARRIES VERY DIFFERENT MEANINGS IN EACH OF THESE SCENES I'M FERAL ABOUT IT.

I can't wait to binge Season Two. Then I can't wait to analyze the hell out of it 😍

[kandelia-mangrove]

Wishlist/Predictions for season 3 of interview with the vampire (add your wishes in the tags!) 

Lestat's perspective on the trial 

So much is different in the show and the motives for everyone involved in the trial are still SO unclear, I need more!

Lestat's version of what went down in Paris with Nicky and the start of the Theatre de Vampire (like I do think he and Armand fucked, but also way more stuff also happened for sure)

It would be really funny to get some Armand interjections in this portion of the tale

Lestat being haunted by Claudia's ghost in the present!! Also the Past!! He can never know peace!

Daniel and Lestat beefing

Lestat getting canceled (or truly any other social media reference) 

Louis Cameo in the present day (curious to see how they are going to keep him involved since I doubt they will spend a ton of time rehashing their relationship in New Orleans) 

I really need them to have very intense getting back together but also still kinda divorced energy

I’ll also accept cutaways from Lestat doing insane shit to Louis just chilling in Dubai, like reading a book or smth

But also I feel like Louis definitely funded the tour like no way Lestat was up to date on his finances, so Louis popping in as a producer/manager could be fun and cool too

Everyones reactions to the reveal that Marius is alive 

Like I NEED to see Armand fucking finding out Marius is alive because he is crashing set that day and has a catastrophic meltdown about the whole situation

Because the show implied he doesn’t know about it, with the whole “I have the blood of Akasha in me, he doesn’t know who that is” line. 

Also Need Daniel reacting to this information 

Also really want Louis’ reaction, because I genuinely think even during his Hating Armand Hours TM he would still hate Marius for what he did to him

Also, very unlikely, but I think should be explored: the Marius golden child Lestat racism/imperialism dynamics of it all especially with the AMC cast. Like… We gotta talk about it. 

Explicitly GNC, Nonbinary, or otherwise Trans Gabrielle

On that note, very intrigued to see if they will leave in all the incesty bits or just lean into the abandonment vibes 

Daniel has to clown on Lestat for this if they leave it in

Confirmation or Denial of 70s/80s devil’s minion (I just need to know if it happened or not!!)

Also if it did happen: I want some flashes to that era - setting up the night island of it all (just since I think that could be relevant going forward)

I think it makes sense plot and show production wise to have a little reference confirming it did or didn’t happen, but I doubt we’d see any of it if it did happen tbh. 

Great Conversion stuff just happening in the background 

Daniel Vampire phones Louis, and Louis the least curious vampire to ever exist genuinely tells him to just ignore it. Like that bitch is NOT going to help solve any mystery

Lestat telling the story of him fighting and killing a bunch of wolves as a human and Daniel just not believing him (because its genuinely wild)

Loumand Divorce Era

Lestat actually exploring the trauma of his turning (sexual assault)

Vampire Daniel being a vampire and doing vampire things!! 

The in universe reception to the book Interview with the vampire by Daniel Molloy 

Like do people believe it’s real? How has the impacted the great conversion stuff? 

Do other vamps know he is a vampire?? 

Do people think the popstar thing is an elaborate RPF/industry plant thing related to the book? 

I Gotta see some fake tweets about this please

[bogleech]

well, you made a fighting roster for one of your favorite things, bugs, so why not do your second favorite? HALLOWEEN.....but you don't have to if you want.

I actually did that of my own accord with concept sketches once but it was two years ago so a lot of people haven't seen it.

It started when I made up a Darkstalkers fan character; a "scream queen" (type of horror movie actress in the 50's) and Bug Eyed Monster duo, with some more move ideas:

But then I decided to just make a dozen monster fighter characters of my own like it was its own distinct game and not Darkstalkers:

Mermaid who was partially eaten by people who thought it would make them immortal, instead it killed them because she was poisonous but she doesn't know that so her ghost is stuck on a revenge killing spree that can never be satisfied

Cartoon werewolf in a zoot suit and punk rock vampire with boombox coffin, I didn't come up with storyline for them, I just needed a werewolf and a vampire

Frankenstein's daughter who put her brain into her own monster in order to defend humanity against her dad's creations and other supernatural threats, I decided on this partly because I'm not really into superheroes but they're one of the top most common Halloween costumes so I tried to make a Halloweeny one that I'd like

Nurse who accidentally transfused herself with cursed mummy blood. I made this one because there's a picture I drew when I was real little of a bleeding mummy with the words "MUMMY BLOOD" on it that child-me thought was the scariest picture ever, and also because I love the (mostly Japanese) trope of medical themed mummies. Also based on the fact that "sexy nurses" are a top selling Halloween costume and then that easily ties into a Silent Hill reference. This all felt creepypasta-like so she's also like a slendersman

Old fashioned Halloween mascot pumpkin man with a vegetable ghost gang, actually the ultimate villain of the setting and a monster that eats children

"Bogeyman" fighter inspired by edgy 90's comic books, a ragdoll scarecrow grim reaper clown. She's a manifestation of the fears of children, but in the sense that she exists to destroy whatever threatens them so her main goal is to kill all other monsters and especially the pumpkin guy

Entire zombie outbreak as one fighter, represented by a cute little fungus mascot, but every fighting move is performed by zombies coming and going from the ground

shapeshifting space alien disguised as a generic housewife, the human disguise would animate like a doll being played with by invisible hands

Ideas for extra-weird, secret unlockable fighters:

Photorealistic giant insect

Vincent Price parody and all his moves are obvious special effects performed by a film crew in the background the whole time

Mysterious entity in a "morph suit" because that's become such a staple of Halloween costumes. Changes into all manner of colors and printed textures for different moves or is the token "mimic" character.

Completely normal middle aged office worker who was on his way to work when he was accidentally caught in the monster brawl, battles on the power of pure blind panic. The tournament put his name down as "I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE"

[batmanfruitloops]

Alright long but silly post, going into the reason why the furry versions are the animals they are. A few choices are influenced by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles v.s. Batman, some choices are already associated with the character (Catwoman, Penguin, etc.). Most choices are an uneven mix of visual, symbolic, and behavioral. So some have more thought put into them than others but it's all for fun.

Batman (Bruce Wayne) -Vampire bat

A pretty obvious choice. I think specifically a vampire bat is fitting, they are very stealthy and aware. They come built with the perfect tools for lapping blood and cause little harm (excluding diseases). Just as Batman always comes with what he needs and only causes as much damage as necessary. Bats are also social creatures and thrive in groups, so there is a bit of irony there. Bruce can put on a good face for the public and business but isolates himself and therefore goes against his nature. He craves family but keeps his loved ones at arm's length in fear of losing them.

Joker (John Doe) - Red-banded spitting cobra

This is a choice influenced by the TMNT v.s. Batman. Also haha Lego Batman clown snakes. I chose this because I'm tired of both snakes and clowns being seen as evil. John is already the way he is because both Sarsee and I agree clowns should be silly and whimsical instead of how more modern media portrays them as creepy and scary, which also includes the Joker. Snakes are my favorite animals. So keeping Joker as a cobra represents what we have set out to do with the au in the first place.

In terms of behavior, John acts mostly the opposite of what you would expect. Snakes are mostly solitary and overall not very social. John is a very outgoing person and extraverted, but he's social skills are stunned from both being autistic and his childhood. So not quite fitting in but he enjoys standing out. Though cobras are a more intelligent species of snake. John is very clever but most wouldn't guess that. As the Joker, John relies on the element of surprise and subverting your expectations. As a bonus spitting venom is similar to a clown's flower spraying water.

Two-Face (Harvey Dent) - Puma

A partial TMNT chose. Instead of just a cat, I went with a puma. Pumas are not classified as big cats but are the largest cat in North America. Despite not being a big cat their presence demands respect. Even when you do not see them if you are in their territory you would be wise to be careful. Pumas know how to pick their fights, taking on challenges with strategy and retreating when they know they are outmatched.

I think these things fit Harvey and Two-Face quite well. He may not be as high on the social ladder as say, Bruce, but he is no less of an important figure in his community. You know when he is in the room and you think about him when he isn't there. He is intelligent and strategic. He's never to be underestimated and most fear and or respect him. These things apply as a rogue or as a candidate. These strengths are what put a target on his back and thus becoming Two-Face. I also do not know enough about this but pumas are not as solitary as other cats. Which fit with Harvey's ambivert personality.

Harley Quinn (Harleen Quinzel) - Spotted Hyena

This one is also an obvious one I would think. Spotted hyenas are a matrical species, meaning the females are in charge. Harley as a character I think usually represents feminine strength at least in recent years. Hyenas are very strong, they take what they want and fiercely protect what is theirs. They have a nasty reputation but live in a pretty unforgiving environment. Hyenas actually do hunt and have to protect their prizes from animals like lions. They have good reason to be the way they are.

Harley is a pretty unpleasant person but she has her reasons. Having dealt with a lot throughout her life. Her actions come from a place of pain though ruthless. She is not satisfied with what she does at the end of the day. She knows she has a lot work to do and a lot to figure out. Scary as she is.

Poison Ivy (Pamela Isley)- Orchid mantis

Another animal associated with feminine power. Mantis are fierce and confident, they stand their ground even against other animals much bigger than they are. They are not very fast and can't fly very well, but are a top insect predator. They have no need to chase, just sit and wait until the opportunity to strike comes to them. Of course, they have the reputation of eating the head of their mates, but that's actually common for insects. Still fitting.

Ivy is a powerful person literally and personality-wise. She has incredible control of her environment as long as there are any plants around. She is beautiful and deadly. Anyone who can get close to her is very lucky. She's pretty content keeping to herself and her plants and is laid back when she is comfortable. She takes opportunities when they are presented to her with full force. Best stay on her good side and give her space. She makes a wonderful mantis.

Bane (Antonio Diego) - Grizzly bear

Bears are incredibly strong but it's not just brawn they have brain too. Bane is not just a brute, he knows how to use his strength well and is incredibly strategic. A bear can be a very scary animal but also fun to observe. Some find them cute, and some find them terrifying. Bane also comes off in a similar way, it just depends on what you know about him. He is someone you can have deep and philosophical conversations with but most would be too scared to approach him. Unfortunately, his addiction makes him unpredictable and behave in a way he would not want to. Bane does have a code he follows and will return the respect you give him. Just a bear will respect your space if you know how to behave in their territory.

Catwoman (Selina Kyle) - Domsitic long-hair cat

Yeah, Catwoman is meant to be a cat in person form so, I don't think there is much to explain. She comes and goes as she pleases and does what she wants. She likes to bother those with no interest in her. The whole shebang. Not bad but not good, just her own brand.

Mad Hatter (Jervis Tetch) - Arctic hare

Arctic hares are one of the largest species of hare. They mainly live alone but come together for warmth and mating. I'm still not too sure about this, I haven't found much on this yet but it seems like rabbits are much more territorially and aggressive than hares. Either way, most think Jervis is a rabbit and not a hare, because of his height and demeanor. Hares are often seen as crazy and generally have a wild reputation, and Jervis is pretty demure. This instead comes out as passion for the things he loves. However, if he is pushed too far all of his pent-up emotions and frustrations will come out in an explosive response. Despite his appearance, he's very fit and strong. He has metabolic issues that make it difficult to lose weight so in his efforts to lose it he instead makes himself stronger. A similar effect to powerlifters. I thought specifically an Arctic hare was fitting because of this reason, as an arctic animal it's incredibly important for them to gain weight to survive the harsh weather. Something that others believe including Jervis himself thinks is a weakness actually becomes a strength. He does become more comfortable with himself eventually, but he has a lot of trauma to overcome to fix his own self-image.

Riddler (Edward Nigma) - Domestic rat

Rats are very social and intelligent. Despite media depictions, they keep themselves clean and are very affectionate. Ed is very much an extrovert and hates being alone, though he can be overbearing at times he loves those close to him very much and gives as much as he takes. Rats are great at getting around being able to squeeze into most places and can tread water for a long time (ironically Ed cannot swim). Ed can also squirm his way into anything be it physically or finding information. Rats enjoy causing mischief and are often high-energy, they need a lot of enrichment. Ed is functioning at 100% and crashes to 0% once he's out of energy, he has to keep himself busy and do little evil genius tasks until he's completely exhausted himself.

(I drew these on stream and Marxtheimpish asked to give Ed a cheerio, and Jervis lettuce, Ed is mad he only got one single cheerio.)

Scarecrow (Jonathan Crane) - Milksnake

A pretty biased pick since I mentioned snakes are my favorite animal, and Scarecrow is my favorite rogue but I have a good reason for my choice. First of all, as someone raised in the South, I associate milk snakes (and therefore corn snakes and rat snakes) with the country. They can often be found on farms and are great pest control and that also makes me also associate them with scarecrows. Milksnakes mimic coral snakes to scare away predators. Jonathan does something similar and comes off as scary and intimating but for the sake of his own protection. Snakes really want to be left alone and so does Jonathan. Snakes are often misunderstood and seen as something evil (especially by some religious people), but they are anxious skittish creatures and will stay out of your way. The religious association is another reason I picked a snake. Most people assume the worst in Jonathan because of his appearance and aloof disposition. He's pretty tired of trying to prove them wrong and has convinced himself he can't be anything else. But know this, there is no such thing as an offensive snake there are only defensive snakes.

Music Meister (Darius Chapel) - Golden-breasted starling

This one is mostly a visual choice. Darius is a pretty boy so of course he should be a pretty bird. Starlings are also a songbird and incredible at mimicking sounds. Just as Darius is an incredible singer and has a wide range of expressing himself musically. I think starlings are sometimes seen as pests or nuisance, I've only heard that in passing. If that's true that fits with Darius. Some people find him annoying but he's a very pleasant person.

Polkadot man (Abner Krill) - Spotted newt

Spotted newts are poisonous and their spots and color advertise that. Just as Abner has dangerous spots. This is mainly the reason why I chose a newt for Abner. I think aposematism, when an animal is colorful because it is toxic, is a really cool thing that happens in nature. I couldn't pass up the chance. Newts are also very cute and humble animals so all the more reason.

Mr.Freeze (Viktor Fries) - Polar bear

Of course, Viktor is a polar bear. Polar bears are solitary animals, especially the males. They only need themselves, and can only afford to care for themselves in the environment they live in. Viktor is a very independent person. He's confident in his abilities and can do almost anything by himself. Nora is an arctic fox, I bring this up because arctic foxes often follow polar bears around. So they are a perfect match. Polar bears are very formidable, you do not want to get in Viktor's way. Though he may seem cold, he is a good person with a big heart.

The Penguin (Ozwald Cobblepot) - Emperor penguin

Yeah, penguin. Emperor penguins care very deeply for their families and don't much care for anyone else. They will brave harsh weather and dangerous waters all for the sake of their families. Oz does not like anyone besides his family. He'll go through any extreme he needs to, no questions asked. Just a cranky old man that wants to give his loved ones a good life.

I'm much better at expressing myself visually than verbally so I'm not sure if this was comprehensive enough. I don't feel like I got out what I had in my head properly. So please feel free to ask any questions. Also, most of these facts are from my memory and may be inaccurate, but I did my best to fact-check myself when I was unsure of something. So if I got something wrong please correct me, I love learning more about animals. Otherwise, enjoy this word vomit infodump.

-Fluffy

[stervrucht]

● AO3 ● My fics ● My art ● Rambling ● Asks ● Previews & Snippets ● Kofi ● Fic Recs ●

Hi, I'm Ster. My creativity only sees the light of moon. Noob writer and coming out of my 10-year art hiatus. ADHD-fueled madness.

🔞MDNI🔞

✨match my clown, and we'll be friends✨

Links to pairing I write for:

Steddie (Stranger Things) | Harringrove (Stranger Things)

Steddie Angsty August [2024]

Eddie Munson Big Bang [2024-2025]

The Graveyard Shift Steddie | Rated E | 17.1K words | Ongoing | Tags: Vampire!Eddie, Hotel clerck!Steve, Horror | AO3 Local rockstar Eddie Munson — enigmatic, mysterious, never photographed in daylight — stays at the Indianapolis Sweetwater Hotel during a gig. Steve Harrington is just a simple guy trying to earn a living working the graveyard shift at a hotel desk.  ● Tag ● Sneak Preview ● Part 1 ●

There's a gap where we meet Harringrove| Rated E | 14.0K words | Ongoing | Tags: Fighting, Violence, Fuckbuddies. Enemies to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort | AO3 Billy and Steve start a fight club that turns into something more.

Ask me about my WIPs and I'll post snippets!

📗Eddie Munson Big Bang - TBA [14K]

🩸The Graveyard Shift - Chapter 5 [ 1.1k]

❓Secret project with @sleepy-steve - Canon divergence Steddie [8.2k]

👊There's a gap where we meet - ch4 [8.2k]

If you're gonna mess me up, don't do it slow | Steddie | Rated M | 3.3K words | Completed Steve POV - Fake dating - Friends to lovers - Sharing a bed - Fluff and humor Eddie and Robin are 'Bearding' and Steve has no idea what that means. The result: a jealous Steve and a healthy dose of kissing your gay friend. ● AO3 ●

Proximity | Steddie | Rated E | 52K words | Completed Eddie POV - Slow burn - Mutual Pining - Sharing a bed - Fluff and angst Eddie enjoys invading people’s personal space, just to mess with them. Steve's complete disregard for boundaries makes him the ultimate challenge. ● Part 1 ● AO3 ●

Drumstick | Steddie | Rated E | 2.8k words | Complete Steve POV - Fluff & smut & humor Eddie is bad at dirty talk and gets a little offended when Steve points it out.. ● Tumblr ● AO3 ●

Encore | Steddie | Rated M | 8.3k words | Complete Steve POV - Bisexual Awakening - Fluff Steve runs an errand for Dustin and has a bisexual awakening at the hands of Eddie Munson. ● Tumblr ● AO3 ●

Grass | Steddie | Rated E | 3K words | Complete Steve POV - Drugs made them do it - Shotgunning When Steve doesn’t go to college, he can stay at his parents’ house under one condition: every week he has to mow the lawn. Eddie has some tips when it comes to grass. And by grass, he means weed, of course. [AO3]

(Un)broken | Harringrove | Rated E | 7.0K words | Complete Billy POV - canon-compliant - Hurt no comfort A canon-compliant study of Billy's obsession with Steve (and some smut). ● AO3 ●

Gravitational | Steddie | Rated M | 1.5K words | Complete Eddie POV - Vampire!Eddie - Bloodsucking - Horror Eddie arrives at Steve's doorstep, drenched in blood, after having been presumed dead for a considerable time. ● Tumblr ● AO3 ●

Ficlets

Last updated: 19th of November, 2024

[murfeelee]

TS3 vs TS4 Features - Supernatural

I saw @moonbiscuitsims' comment here about how EA added "way more features" in their TS4 occult packs, and I wanted to talk about it in depth, cuz that's a misleading statement. Y'all know TS4's my trigger.

Cuz yes, on paper, EA offers a LOT of stuff in TS4 packs. But the saying goes: as broad as an ocean and as deep as a puddle. 😬 QUALITY, versus QUANTITY, which is crucial for replayability, customization, variability, and ultimate longevity. And another thing is the TIMEFRAME that that content was released. Sure, if it takes you 10 years to develop/dripfeed your frikkin game, ofc you can add more content over more packs; than if you'd just stuck to ONE dedicated pack, developed it in 1-2 years, and given people arguably BETTER, if not MORE content.

My gut reaction's to say EA had BETTER be offering more content! 😤 Not even to justify the ridiculous pricetag or anything, but for the simple fact that TS4's supposed to be NEXT GEN. It's SUPPOSED to be bigger & better than everything that came before it. Why are we sitting here for 10 years with TS4 if it ain't gonna increase ANYTHING but my rising blood pressure & trust issues?!

So Imma just examine TS3 SN in comparison with TS4's packs, and give my take on what's been going on, from 2012 (SN EP) to now.

Missing Features: TS4 Fairies

A fairy was the very first sim I ever made in TS3 back in 2009 (my avatar sim, Sakura). Watching the SN announcement trailer for the first time dang near made me cry. TS4 could never; moving on.

Missing Features: TS4 Zombies & Toadsims

TS4 Tragic Clowns are a W for the apple juggling & costume. I think EA was lazy by slacking on the clown just cuz he's already dead in Sunset Valley; and I guess they don't expect players to resurrect his ghost. SN EP did nothing to actually improve/expand him, just creating the alchemy Clown Potion; I guess to better integrate fishing the Clownfish into the lore.

TS4 Vampires GP (2017)

This is an easy one. I've said since TS3 Late Night EP (2010) that TS3's vampires are utter dogtrash, and the SN EP did eff all to patch/improve them, and I will die on that hill (until someone figures out how to give convert TS4's functional coffins & vampire fights & special FX). Compared to every other occult, I have more mods installed just to try to fix how effing busted & stupid vamps are; and these sparkling Twilight dumb AF bloodsuckers STILL get on my dang nerves.

IMO, TS4 Vampires is hands down the best pack EA ever made for TS4. 10/10, the attention they put in that pack outclasses darn near everything else they did until TS4 Seasons. Undisputed W, yes. 👏

TS4 Realm of Magic GP (2019)

Disputed W. I gave it an 8/10 at BEST, cuz magic/fantasy's a win, but I am disappointed. If this had been a home run for EA, I'd've shut my dang mouth, ISTG. But alas. I went on a long AF tirade against RoM when I realized that a lot of its so-called "new" features were things we could already do in TS4, with a flashy coat of paint--let alone things TS3 & the SN EP did, and better. Some things I didn't mention though:

Muggles who ask spellcasters how to do magic are sent on a fetch quest for Magic Motes, which is EXACTLY what the ITF EP Time Traveler occult Emit Revelart makes normies do to, finding Power Cells to learn how to use the Time Portal.

The Witch's perks/ranks system works just like the Vampires one, so kudos to EA for not fixing something that ain't broke I guess.

The Spells: At MTS I actually broke down what each of TS4's spellcasters do that's largely nothing sims couldn't do in TS3, even before SN came out (via SHT Genies or SSNS Aliens, or the Store).

TS3 Witches (let alone other lifestates) can do most of this either through alchemy or inherited features from older TS3 packs. This was a huge RoM dealbreaker for me, as I'd been hoping for WAY more innovative features in TS4's spells--the whole point of Spellcasters--than just an elaborate set of cheats. TS3's Witch's main features are fewer, but far more cohesive, IMO. (Granted, NONE of the packs holds a single candle to the GOAT that is TS1's Makin Magic, which had WAY more features than TS2, TS3 & TS4; and was CHEAPER. But I digress.)

There's no unique features with TS3/TS4 wands; they act the same way; the effects are just different, and TBH I'm not a fan of either--I wish wand/magic FXs could be modded in different colors at least (like BLACK 😈). But I DO like that in TS4 they can duel for rewards.

TS4 brooms do EFF ALL in a closed world; EA made them exactly they way they were in TS2, with zero innovation. (IIRC kids can't even use them--EA's hatred for kids & elders ALMOST matches MY hatred of EA.)

IMO beekeeping doesn't count, cuz TS3 included it as a small feature for alchemy ingredients in the SN EP, while TS4 integrated it far better in SSNS to work with gardening, which is genius.

Speaking of SSNS, there's the Weather Stone that only appears if you have both SN & SSNS, so occults can conjure magical weather effects over the whole world. (I'll talk about the best perk under Crystals SP.)

Familiars are the certified W for me with RoM. They're the best & most unique & most well-thought out & feature of the GP, IMO. ❤️

Extra TS4 features I think are supremely cool are spellcasters' books floating whenever they read anything. And their cauldrons have much cooler animations, and I'm so jealous that y'all can cook food in them; EA should've added that to the Store Cauldron, although I guess I understand why they didn't in the SN EP Alchemy Cauldron.

A lot of RoM's features are wrapped around Glimmerbrook. Access to Glimmerbrook comes with the Glimmer Stone key--and I WOULD use that as a segue into the Crystals SP, but I'll hold off. I already vented about Glimmerbrook in my Werewolves GP rant--but I'll get to that in a minute, too. The bigger issue is what even constitutes a TS4 "world"--those non-customizeable tiny AF clusters of tiny AF lots and huge swaths of decorative set dressing--let alone the Diagon Alley ripoff EA loves promoting like I was born yesterday and never saw Harry Potter. GORGEOUS realm, of course, like many EA worlds are. But they're largely just set-dressing, which irritates me to no end.

TS4 Paranormal SP (2021)

I've ranted & raved about Paranormal before: 7/10 at best.

TS4 Seances with the crystal ball work very differently from TS3's Soothsayer's Crystal Ball, which wasn't about banishing ghosts, but improving progression for SN's Witches & Fortune Telling (career). Fortune Telling's NOT a ghostly job, although the boho aesthetic carried over to TS4 Paranormal. (On top of the fact that they promised this whole NOLA Voodoo vibe, but delivered ZERO cultural accurate features reflecting ANYTHING from Haitian Voodoo, wtf? It's all hippie boho New Age BS--why TF does the tutorial ghost look more like Johnny Depp and less like Dr. Facilier, I ask you, EA.) Granted, some of the interactive objects are nice, like the calming dollbaby & magic candles to purify lots--kinda like TS3 incense. But again: 1-trick ponies. Yes, the animations look great, but crystal balls are typically for divination, asking spirits about the past/present/future, not removing haunting poltergeists, so I don't really get it. Stylish & gorgeous! But GENERIC AF substance-wise.

IMO, TS4's Ghosts are an L across the board; all the way from the base game--that bafflingly launched in 2014 WITHOUT ghosts until they were patched in a whole month later after everyone rose a stink (IIRC TS4 kids can't be ghosts!?)--to present. EA's been over/course-correcting from that gaffe ever since, with like double the amount of Death types than TS3. I DO NOT like how TS4 ghosts colors are tied to Eeemotionnsss~! (more like they're a sentient Plumbbob). TBF, kudos to TS4's smoky cloudy effect when ghosts appear. But the lack of unique deaths & ghost types in RoM (aside from Spellcaster Overload & the Night Wraith) made me roll my eyes, as SN EP's ghost types are some of my faves (ITF & SHT are also my top 3).

IIRC it was the SN patch that unlocked all types in (basegame?) CAS to make playable Ghosts. SN's Philosopher's Stone allows sims to summon new playable Ghosts (and ofc allows for transmutating cheap objects into gold ingots--more on that later), or it can just kill you and make YOU the new ghost, LOL.

But as for features, sure, TS4 ghosts have more interactions--though they're all pretty, rather than scary (vs TS2 ghosts, which were SCARY). TS4 ghosts lost the HORROR to just be silly/goofy or just CUTESY--especially the little spectres from Paranormal.

Speaking of horror, I can't talk about ghosts w/out bringing up TS3's AMB EP, cuz the Ghost Hunter (profession) is the real parallel with TS4's Paranormal Investigator (freelancer). In TS3, they actually stuck to their promised main premise (Ghostbusters). Overall, TS4 Seances are nowhere near as fluid as TS3 ghostbusting. In TS3 you can run all over the world using gidgets-gadgets to detect/fight ghosts & sprites, not just inside haunted houses, but anywhere they happen to spawn (ofc inc. graveyards). You're not just locked to a lot/house the player already knows is haunted (cuz you just toggle Haunted Lot to trigger the feature--SN's Ghost Gnome object isn't exactly the same, but it does spawn hauntings on the lots you put them in). ANY TS3 indoor/outdoor residential/community lot can randomly get haunted during a Ghost Hunter's shift; and you never know which one it'll be, or what kind of shenanigans will happen--EVIL ghost or just some sprites--which skyrockets replayability & keeps things fresh & interesting.

Functionally, Paranormal had no right to be that dang good for a Stuff Pack. That was a Game Pack; IDKY EA insists otherwise; esp. when it offered more & better things than some actual GPs. I'm confused. However, a serious problem TS4 has is that it gameifies everything to the point that TS4's numerous features lose their spontaneity, and just become rote--BORING. The ectoplasm everywhere just becomes another mess in your (haunted) house you have to clean--CHORES. On top of me not liking TS4 ghosts' look & vibe (and I HATE TS4's Bonehilda). Quality over quantity, EA!

TS4 Werewolves GP (2022)

Speaking of ghosts, waaaay back in 2020 I told the spirits precisely what I wanted from a potential Werewolf dedicated TS4 pack. Did they listen? HAYUL NAW. So in 2022 I said everything I had to say about the Werewolves GP, and accepted the fact that EA's INEPT.

Do TS4's wolves have MORE features than TS3? YES ofc (even in 2012 everyone complained that Witches & Faeries got the lion's share & Werewolves got shafted--they're basically glorified Familiars for Witches/Alchemist to find collectibles--more on that below). But was most of it GOOD features though? Debatable! I LOATHE the 2 wolf packs, which was what I'd most looked forward to; plus the whole world's aesthetic was ugly homeless-grunge, without a single bit of creativity or originality--only EA could make monsters as terrifying as werewolves effing cartoony hipster squatters. 🤦 7/10 at best.

TS4 Crystals SP (2024)

These crystals are ugly, EA. Which is weird, cuz the basegame TS4 gems & esp. space rocks are GORGEOUS. I have no idea which vision-impaired dev at EAxis thought these nasty looking opaque poorly-painted rocks were pretty.

Features-wise, granted, having TS4's bonafide Gemology skill from the Crystals SP's nice, instead of TS3's basegame hidden Collector skill. But the functioanlity's largely the same: cut more, unlock more (which I prefer to cheat my way through--TS3 thinks I have time for all this gameplay, LOL). (Not to mention all the extra features TS3's Aliens, Simbots & Plumbbots have when interacting with gems, space rocks, or metals.) TS4 only got 10 gem cuts for 27 crystals (=270), (+25 metals); compared to TS3's 16 gem cuts for 28 gems (=448), (+16 metals with their own separate ingots). Of TS4's 10 cuts, the Skull Cut is the ONLY one I think looks better (ignoring the atrociously flat textures ofc) than TS3's (which TS4 copy/pasted--no agates, no crystal ball, wtf).

The Garden Gnome cut isn't unique to TS4, as TS3 has several craftable (glass-only) Garden Gnome cut from the Glassblowing Machine (more on that soon).

The only TS3 gem that genuinely affects sims is radioactive Tiberium from the WA EP, so more features is definitely a plus. The best addition is TS4's Charging Grid feature--I LOVE that TS4 crystals can be imbued with magic energy--it's like TS3's Store Crystal Tree, ITF EP's magic crystal plants & the SN EP Mood Lamp all rolled into one. @greenplumbboblover's WIP Interests & Hobbies mod brainstormed integrating that functionality that back in 2020.

The functionality of the TS3 SN EP Gem Cutter & the TS4 Crystal Tree are similar, though ofc the tree's wallet & eco-friendly; and it's a plant, not a hunk of machinery, so it naturally has that going for it.

There's also the SN-SSNS Weather Stone, which gives werewolves the ability to summon a Hunter's Storm, raining a hail of gems, rocks & metals over the whole world for easy loot farming. (The best perk, though my fave is the Faeries' Reviving Sprinkle for gardening.)

Aside from SN, TS3's real equivalent is actually the Prism Art Studio Venue's Artisan skill. Cuz the REAL seller's the jewellery-making. There's ~100 CAS items in Crystals SP (plus 30+ regular Build/Buy mode objects). At $10, the Crystals SP is a steal, at least when compared to the BONKERS $20 tag on TS3's Prism Art Studio at the Store (2014). IIRC the Glassblowing Machine newly added 16 craftable CAS items & 13 craftable glass objects (as SN already gave us the Gem-Cutting Machine & AMB already gave us the Widgets work station); and 8 Build/Buy objects (inc. the goated L-shaped "spiral" stairs). It also added 5 craftable Perfumes for sims to use.

So while the Crystals SP added NICE features, I wouldn't say they added MORE features. Rather, they added more content: Quantity. But as for Quality, I think TS3 beats it out--the Prism Studio's a effing ripoff, but AFAIK it added features TS4 still doesn't have yet (craftable glassblowing & perfumes, spiral stairs); and the objects it did add are pretty nifty.

Timeframe-wise, we got the 2014 Prism Art Studio's Glassblower 2 years after the SN EP's Gem-Cutter; 5 years after the 2009 basegame. Compared to TS4's wait for the Crystals SP 2 years after Werewolves, 3 after Paranormal, 5 after RoM; and a whopping DECADE after the basegame launched in 2014. Wtf, EA?

Still, I'd say the Crystal SP's a 7/10 (there's not enough gem cuts, the gems textures are ugly, and most of the features were lifted from things TS3 had innovated 10+ years earlier).

TL;DR

Quantity =/= Quality.

EA's been taking way too long releasing packs to have the nerve to present debatable content--it should be goated releases EVERY time; esp. since everyone agrees TS4 is easier to create content for, so much smaller in scale/scope, and with an infinitely larger budget & fanbase than The Sims franchise ever had. There's zero excuse for EAxis' mediocrity, when TS3 was churning out EPs like it's life depended on it: SHT, SN, and SSNS all came out the SAME EFFING YEAR. 2012 was LIT.

EA, you suck.

[marchyfrommars]

Supernatural (2005-2020)

The Winchester Brothers’ Never-Ending Road Trip

So, you’ve heard about Supernatural, huh? The show that ran for 15 years, outlived several CW presidents and survived cast exhaustion. Strap in, because here’s the rundown of this legendary rollercoaster of a series.

Plot? Who Needs Plot When You’ve Got… More Plot. The premise is simple: Two ridiculously attractive brothers, Sam (Hair Goals) Winchester and Dean (I Eat Pie Like It’s My Job) Winchester, drive around in a sweet 1967 Chevy Impala hunting ghosts, demons, and things that go bump in the night. Sounds straightforward, right? Oh, you sweet summer child. By Season 15, they’re fighting God. Yes, the capital-G guy upstairs. And it totally makes sense… somehow.

The Bromance: Sam and Dean’s relationship is the emotional core of the show. One minute, they’re yelling, “You lied to me!” The next, they’re hugging and dramatically saying, “We’re all we’ve got.” Family therapy, who?

Monsters Galore: If it exists in folklore, Supernatural has hunted it. Vampires? Yep. Werewolves? Sure. Killer clowns? Obviously. That creepy thing you thought lived under your bed as a kid? Oh, that was definitely a Supernatural episode.

Humor That Slaps: The show knows it’s ridiculous and leans into it. Highlights include: Dean thinking he’s a literal dog for an episode. ("Look at my face. Do I look like I’m joking?"). A black-and-white monster movie tribute complete with campy Dracula. Sam getting possessed by a demon and going on a coffee bender (no one has ever looked happier about caffeine).

Guest Stars from Heaven (and Hell): Castiel, the socially awkward angel who doesn’t understand personal space, steals every scene he’s in(and we LOVE him). Crowley, the snarky demon king, delivers sass like he’s on a Bravo reality show. And let’s not forget Bobby Singer, the grumpy surrogate dad who made “Idjits” an iconic insult.

Fake Deaths Galore: If you got a dollar every time a Winchester died and came back, you’d have enough cash to buy your own haunted mansion. Death is basically their vacation spot.

The Apocalypse, Again?: By the time the third apocalypse rolls around, you’re like, “Can someone else save the world for once? The Avengers, maybe?”

Overtime Issues: Around Season 11, you might feel like the writers are spinning a roulette wheel labeled “Heaven,” “Hell,” and “Another Monster with Daddy Issues.” But you stick around, because you’re too invested in the Impala’s gas mileage at this point.

The Legacy, fifteen years later, Supernatural left us with:

- A lifetime’s worth of classic rock songs stuck in our heads.

- Enough fan theories to fill an actual Bible.

- Destiel.

- A devoted fandom ready to argue whether Dean deserved that ending (spoiler: no pie in heaven?! Blasphemy!).

It’s not perfect—plot holes so big you could drive Baby through them—but it’s heartfelt, funny, and ridiculously addictive. Watching Supernatural is like hanging out with chaotic friends who always have a crazy story: you roll your eyes at their antics but wouldn’t miss it for the world.

And since it is my favourite series, of course I would recommend. But remember, when someone says, “It’s just one more episode,” they’re lying. You’ll be watching until you’re humming "Carry On Wayward Son" in your sleep.

The fullest Full Moon you’ll ever see 5/5 🌕

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

Chapter 1 - Dark Paradise

Pairing: John Price x fem!oc (oc: Rory Sinclair - 3rd person pov)

Word count: 4.2 K

Warnings/tags: MINORS DNI, Vampire AU, smut, p in v sex, biting, consensual blood drinking, established relationship, unprotected sex with a vampire, swearing, pet names, roleplay scenario, John Price POV for this chapter

A/N: the first chapter and we're opening with a "bang". In this universe Rory is a previously turned vampire and member of TF141. The canon she has otherwise still holds, she just happens to also drink blood now.

Releasing the first chapter in time for Halloween, not entirely sure how regularly this fic will be updated.

And then the door to his quarters creaked open —

Goddamn tired.

He’d been awake for nearly 36 hours straight, finally given a chance to rest after prepping for another mission. The briefings had become the least of his worries, the same old-same old, but still every possible scenario circled his thoughts like he was a bloody clown with spinning plates on sticks, making sure not a single one fell on his watch.

Laying back in his bed, Price released a long, burdened exhale up towards the ceiling. Staring at the boring beige paint that was military standard as if he had expected it to change, running his hands back and forth through his hair. Thoughts of pouring himself a drink or perhaps lighting up a cigar for a little stress relief sparked behind his eyes.

It was the silence of the night, the others long since turned in, and while everyone else on base should have been sleeping, he realized he wasn’t entirely alone. 

She appeared like an apparition. The door closing shut behind her with the flick of her delicate wrist, the lock clicking just as he gulped down a heavy swallow, his saliva thick in his throat, his tongue feeling sizes too large for his mouth. 

His heart thundered in his chest, pounding in his ears, silencing any of his previous worries. White noise blanketed the gray matter. A haze as thick as fog blurred his vision, tunneling it until all he saw was her – everything else was just background noise. Non-existent. 

Her lithe form crawled up from the foot of the bed. The mattress creaked, bending to her weight, and his stomach dropped as something feral coiled inside him. Survival instinct. Fight or flight. Nerves fired, synapses screamed every red flag and siren and they died away before his body was even given a chance to react. Years of experience, training, battle readiness, all made into myth as big, beautiful hazel doe-eyes locked onto him from under long, dark lashes – the gleam of a predator within them. Hunger. A starving beast. Stalking towards him with the sleek sway of a panther. Slithering up the bed, an adder – deadly, dangerous. Intoxicating.

His breath came in short and heavy. Sitting up against his pillows, his whole body felt like it had been entombed in earth, muscles unable to move without the use of brute force, and he’d been made docile under that singular stare, crushing him beneath it. His chest compressed, suffocating, squeezed tight until it hurt just to breathe.

Pale, slender fingers stretched out, and with the reaper’s touch, they pushed him down onto the mattress, forcing him down. His struggle, entirely futile under her feather-lite touch. The strength of a two tonne tank contained in her fingertips and total control slipped through his fingers the way the fibers of the sheets within his fists did. A shuddered breath tumbling over his lips before he sucked it back in through gritted teeth with a labored hiss.

Frozen hands traveled down arms that could toss a man over his shoulder or throw them over a barrier wall, and he’d never felt so unbearably pathetic. Held captive, imprisoned in his own bed like a child who’d woken from a terrible nightmare and didn’t even have the strength to scream. Soft palms drifted along his limbs, marble-smooth, stone-cold. Shivers slid down his spine, fractals of ice freezing the blood, spreading through his veins and making each pump of the work-horse muscle in his chest painful. Fingers slipped around his wrists, manacles that made his own digits lock like the blistering wind of a frozen tundra had chewed its way through his gloves and began to gnaw at the skin below.

His jaw clenched, heels digging into the mattress in some feeble attempt to break free from her hold as she settled herself on his lap, straddling him, milky-white thighs trapping him between them and each desperate attempt to flee only caused the blanket covering him to slip further down his hips, revealing the dark curls that bordered the root of his cock. He bit his lip, chewing on the flesh as his hips bucked, groaning, deep and low from the back of his throat.

“Christ, Ror. Please, darlin’...”

“Please what?” She purred, leaning towards him, her mouth inches away from his. Testing him, toying with him.

Her soft breath ghosted over his lips like a cool breeze in summer, chilling the heat that simmered beneath his flesh, sending yet another shiver coursing through him as the sweat that began to slick his skin and dampen the hair on his body was wicked away by her frozen touch rather than the evaporation of body heat. The soft swells of her breasts pressed against him, but there was no heartbeat there, the cavity may as well have been hollow below. It didn’t rise or fall either, her lungs lying as still as the grave.

“Fuck, woman, can’t just come in here and tease me like this,” he gruffed, teeth gritting together, brow furrowed. With each lift of his pelvis, he would grind against her, stroking his thick length against her velvety soft folds, and despite the icy temperature of her flesh he still hardened to the stiffness of a glacier in return.

She giggled and it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard – it was bloody torture. He was more worked up than usual, desperate and aching after days without rest, and she was playing him with the gall of a cat whose claws had managed to curl themselves around the tail of a rat.

Lifting his arms above his head, manipulating and maneuvering him like he was a poseable doll, she pinned his hands above his head and brushed the tip of her nose against his, paying extra attention to the little mole that sat there.

“Gonna get you back for this, sweetheart.” An empty threat. “Mark my words.”

Her hum in response vibrated through his skin and rattled his chest. “Promises, promises.” That sweet voice of hers melting his urge to flip her over and take the upper hand, conquering her gorgeous body – not that he could if he would, she was much too strong for that now.

Growling, his eyes narrowed at her, the piercing blue stare holding her dead to rights. “You’re bloody cruel.”

“Oh, shut it,” she said with that goddamn smirk of hers curling her mouth and awakening her angelic dimples. 

His brow cocked and a short huff fluttered the dark waves that framed her face. Much too fucking pretty a face. “Am I not allowed to indulge in a little fantasy, my girl? How many men get to say their lady is a bloody vampire? Doesn’t mean I want to be left in the cold though, Ror. Driving me mad here.”

The nip at his lower lip, her pearly white fangs pricking against him, caused another groan as his hips rolled towards her. Trying – and failing – once more to lift his arms from beneath her grasp.

“So impatient, my darling. Think I never get you off with the way you’re acting.”

Brows knitting together, he looked up from beneath them with a darkened expression. His mouth scrunching in frustration, his square jaw cut with sharp edges as he lifted his chin defiantly and a low rumble built like rolling thunder in the distance.

“Do not give me that look,” she scolded him, “You’re the one who asks for these bloody games, love.”

“Party pooper,” she muttered before capturing his mouth in a deep kiss. Each press of her lips to his seemed to last forever, languid and slow, as sensual and seductive as the very aura that surrounded her since being turned several years back.

Her lips, like the cool side of the pillow, were refreshing, invigorating. The taste of her was sweet, the spoonful of sugar that made the shitshow of life go down a little easier. Grunting as he shifted beneath her, her hardened nipples brushed over his chest and she whined into his mouth.

He’d give anything to break free, to run his hands up and down the smooth curves of her waist and over the round of her hips, squeezing her firm little arse cheeks in his rough palms. To be able to grip her tight and drive her back and forth on his shaft, directing her, watching pleasure wrack her body, making her moan the way only he could; but instead, he was stuck there like a bug pinned under the glass in some hobbyist’s collection. 

“Sweetheart…” He hated to plead, hated how weak it made him sound, hated giving anyone that sort of power over him but Christ, if she couldn’t pull every little whimper and moan from him like it was second nature to her.

“Oh, my darling,” she cooed, pulling away, her lips glistening with the sheen of his saliva upon them. “You really must be suffering.”

Price nodded, jaw tense, his throat bobbing as the pulse point in his neck hammered so hard it nearly strangled him. “Can only take not touchin’ you for so long, darlin’.”

Her hands squeezed around his wrists a little tighter, constricting the blood flow, the flesh growing hot and red below as his life’s essence pooled in place. Closing her eyes, she sat there silently, unmoving – like a corpse. She used to only be able to read him by memorizing his tics and tells, perceptive in her approach to dealing with him. Now, she could hear his heartbeat, the change in his breath, smell his sweat, feel the blood pump in his veins through his very skin. It had been an unnerving development at first, the woman he loved becoming an undead lie detector with blood-sucking instincts.

“Rory,” he husked her name, a quiet whisper traveling in the space between them.

Her full lips curled into a half grin and she gazed down at him, her eyes warm and brimming with life despite her circumstances. “You really want your hands free, don’t you?”

She gripped his shoulders, snaking her arms around the back of his neck. Her body rocking against his. Hips grinding, rotating. He was faced with Heaven on Earth while buried deep inside her. Price nuzzled in against her neck, breathing in the decadent scent of her perfume – sultry, heady, unfathomably deep. His mouth trailed along the smooth column, laving his tongue over the cool flesh as his beard rasped against her. 

Pulling her hands away, she sat back, her back arching in a gentle curve as she leaned away from him. The entire swath of her silky flesh available to him to roam his callused hands against, appreciating every inch to his heart’s content.

Sitting up, moving with the reflexes that made him so dangerous in the field, he wrapped his arms around her, gripping her tight and pulling her against his chest. “Lift up, sweetheart,” he ordered, slipping a hand between her legs and teasing the entrance to her core with the head of his cock.

As she lowered onto him, his breath hitched. Taking all of him, every last inch, they groaned in unison. “Fucking hell, love,” he purred in her ear as her hips started to roll against him, her slick coating his shaft as tight walls clenched against him. His eyes fluttered shut and his head rolled back, exposing the flesh of his neck, releasing an inaudible moan. One arm coiled around her waist, pressing her body to his, as the other slid up her back, his hand delving into the strands of her hair, bunching it up in a fistful. Straining to maintain clarity of thought, his whole body stiffened, his tendons all standing in stark relief.  

“So damn beautiful,” he mumbled, lost in the feel of her undulating, of being inside her.

Trapped in a daze of passion, a dark paradise with a woman cursed with everlasting life so long as she had a constant food source, he was lost in the sensation of reaching the precipice she was leading him towards in her thrall. Losing track of time and space, her soft lips grazed against his artery and the barely there touch of pillowy flesh pulled him back into reality. 

The hushed slurp of her open mouth wrapped around him reminded him of biting into a ripe peach in summer and the juice that ran down the chin with it. Succulent, sweet. And as her hand caressed his jaw, gentle and tender, coaxing him deeper into her maw, he was sure that was how her brain had learned to rewire itself with her change so she could stomach what she was forced to do for sustenance.

With his jaw cupped in her hand, holding him in place, her thumb brushed softly through the whiskers of his beard and the stubble of the five o'clock shadow on his neck and jaw. The quiet hiss of her parting lips was the only warning he received before the tip of her tongue flickered out tasting the beat of his heart. Fangs descending against his skin, she dragged them gently and pierced the flesh with all the pain of the prick of a needle.

Gasping, he gulped air like he was drowning. The pinch of her bite soothed by her plump lips wrapping around the wound and sucking on the flesh, drawing out more of his blood that bubbled to the surface.

His fingers dug into her, searching for but never finding any source of heat while warm blood trickled down the contour of his neck and over his barrel chest, pooling where their bodies met as she continued to drink. The suctioned sensation was just enough to keep him from falling over the edge, maintaining at least a portion of lucid thought before the lightheadedness started to creep into the corners of the little world they had created together.

“Rory,” he murmured, knotting her hair in his fist as he tried to pull her mouth away.

It didn’t take much for her to get the hint, panting as she tore herself away from her source of fresh blood, drips of it curling down her chin from the corners of her mouth.

“Sorry, love,” she breathed, her tongue darting out to clean her lips as she wiped the traces of claret from her face with her hand.

“‘S okay,” he rumbled before pulling her in for a kiss, tasting himself on her tongue. 

Redoubling his efforts to reach their shared climax, the metallic tang lingered in the air and in his mouth, clinging to his gums and inside his flared nostrils with each heaved breath.

Her moans were better than any song he’d ever heard, a siren’s call to his most base of instincts – the ones he’d trained to ignore, to forget, to rise above. He was a veteran of the SAS for a reason, and yet, their bodies moving in tandem eradicated any of the drilled in logic. 

“Fuck, John,” she cried out, her voice straining, trembling as her nails dug into his back. “Right fucking there, don’t stop.”

Hips snapping, he’d never refuse to follow her orders, not when she was in his lap like this, when she was helping him unwind in the best way possible.

“Never, darlin’. Never.”

Bed creaking, the headboard knocking against the wall in time with their passion, he stopped caring if anyone else on base could hear them, he just wanted to keep her making those pretty noises for him.

Stiffening in his arms, her body turned rigid, muscles all tightening, locking up  – Rigor mortis. A choked groan escaped her as her eyes rolled back in her head, fluttering shut as she went limp and rested her head on his shoulder.

The fact that he could still cause this sort of reaction in her, make her tremble and whine like the pretty, sweet and soft thing she used to be brought a hazy smile to his face. Panting as he felt her mouth wrap around the bite marks she’d left behind in his neck, her tongue dragging against it with the same attention she used on his cock. A growl rumbled in his chest as his thoughts drifted to that scenario for a fleeting moment. 

That tongue of hers trailing along his skin, cleaning up the mess from his still draining veins, made his toes curl and he surged forward, thrusting into her with the force of a man possessed before grabbing her ass and bouncing her up and down on his shaft, punching out warbling mewls from her. Slick, wet – cunt, tongue, the blood that pumped from him. His fingers kneaded into her flesh, rough and possessive, if she still had a working pulmonary system she’d likely bruise with how hard he was gripping her. 

So close. Right fucking there.

Her tight, velvet walls clenched around him, pulsing with contractions (like the heartbeat she no longer had), milking him and bringing him to the brink. The heat in his core made his cock throb, and all sense – his seat of control – was stolen from him. Filling her, flooding her with his come, continuing to fuck into her straight through his own climax.

Nuzzling his face into her, their necks curled around each other like mated wolves, mumbling and moaning, quiet ‘thank you’s’ tumbling from his lips. His thrusts slowed, becoming lazy and languorous, while labored puffs of exhausted breath fanned over her flesh, moist not with her perspiration, but his.

In the daze of his afterglow, his brow furrowed as her fingertips began to lightly massage the wounds on his neck and a tingle radiated outwards from the point of origin. It was the same feeling he received when she’d heal his wounds after a clash against whichever enemy it was they were being sent in to deal with. Smearing her blood on him like it was antiseptic ointment and he’d skinned his knee. It was a miracle, able to save him and the other lads from ever needing stitches.

But it came at a cost. 

There were times when he wondered what it might be like to be the same thing she was, not dead, not truly alive, existing in a limbo state somewhere between the two. Free of the fear of dying. Stronger, faster. Able to heal from her wounds, and save others. That wasn’t even counting the other benefits: hypnosis and compulsion, flight, shapeshifting. She was already a damn good recon specialist, but once she’d changed she was damn near unstoppable, leaving him in the dust. 

Cradling her in his arms as they lay together on his bed just wasn’t the same anymore and even after the last few years it still took some getting used to, especially after making love. There was no racing heart, no sweat slicked skin or panting breaths. She was cold. Still. Like sleeping next to a marble statue of the woman he loved, a replica of the real thing. He knew it was still her, she had all the same thoughts and feelings. Hell, she even had the trauma. But her warmth, the bit of her he clung to when her curves slotted against the stiff planes of his body – it wasn’t there anymore. The best he’d ever get was room temperature. 

Carding her fingers through the hair at his temple, he was sure she could probably count the gray hairs that were there, the way they kept increasing while she would stay young and beautiful forever. Like the Picture of Dorian Grey, she’d never age while he just kept getting older, more tired, more grizzled, worn down and callused. 

Left behind to rot.

He cleared his throat, pushing away the cobwebs that ensnared him about the life he could have in some alternate timeline where he’d been bitten and she wasn’t. The one where she was still the gentle little lamb he had sworn to protect. Pulling her in tighter against him with a grunt, his arms surrounded her in a bear hug that pressed her cheek against his hirsute chest before his meaty hand began to aimlessly drift down her side, appreciating her form and its every peak and valley.

“Are you okay, love?” Her voice was a soft whisper as she looked up at him, holding his gaze. “Looked like you were a million miles away.”

“‘Course,” he said with a curt nod, his brows stitching together. 

God forbid she ever found out he was jealous of what she could do, at how it would make him a better soldier. He’d never have to worry about retiring, finding something else to do to fill his time, finding his place as a civilian in a life free from danger. He could handle the struggles that came with turning, just like he handled everything else that was thrown at him – he was sure of it. But he’d never dare ask her to turn him, he already knew she’d never agree to it. Never willingly “curse” him the way she was. He couldn’t blame her for that either, she hadn’t volunteered. She was attacked, forced into being what she was now. She saw it as just another burden she needed to carry with her for the rest of her life, which, in this case, was forever.

“Don’t you worry ‘bout a damn thing, sweetheart.” His hand stroked lovingly over the curve of her spine, tracing along the slope of her lower back. “You let me handle it.”

“John?”

“Yeah, love?” His eyes were getting heavier, drowsiness catching up with him as he lay there spent and sated.

“You’re exhausted. I’ll clean us up, eh?” Lifting her chin and stretching her neck, she kissed him. “Stay right there.”

“No, love,” he husked. 

Peeling away from his arms, there was no sudden hit of cold air against his body when she evacuated the bed. Her side was left empty, lacking, as if she’d never been there at all. He sighed and reached over to the bedside table, grabbing his cigar, clipping the end and flicking open his lighter. The dancing flame drifted back and forth over the end until it started to glow and smoke. Puffing away, cock still half-hard, he watched her pad over and collect the wet wipes he’d stashed, the plastic pack crinkling against his stomach as she tossed them at him.

“Oi!” Smoke shot out of him as he pulled the cigar from his lips, a wry grin on his lips as she laughed at his reaction. “Show me a little respect, yeah? Just gave you dinner and a dance,” he said with a smirk, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“That was terrible,” she groaned, snickering as she climbed back onto the bed. Collecting a handful of wipes, she started to clean off the glistening remains of their union from his softening shaft. Her large doe eyes lifted to gaze at him, biting her lip, the smile fading from her face. “Didn’t take too much from you, did I?”

“You’re not just saying that?” Her head tipped to the side, eyes narrowing slightly. “I can tell if you’re lying.”

“I swear.”

She licked her lips, wetting them before speaking again. “You need more iron in your diet if I’m going to keep doing this. Whiskey and cigars don’t cut it, my darling.”

He glanced up at the ceiling and sighed with a low grumble. “Nurse, soldier, vampire… what can’t you do, darlin’?”

“Piss off,” she said, tossing the dirty wipe across the room, the damp, rumpled cloth tumbling into the rubbish bin.

Giving herself a wipe between her thighs, she lay back against the pillows beside him, the smoke from his cigar coiling around their faces. Leaning down, her head rested on his broad shoulder and she sighed heavily. “You need to start taking better care of yourself, love,” she murmured. 

“Why not? What’s so bad about being damn near unkillable, able to live practically forever?”

He grit his teeth, clenching them tightly around the cigar between his lips. “Or you could just put me out of my misery…” He tried to make it sound like a joke, adding a smirk after he uttered the words, but the bitter taste in his mouth was hard to ignore.

“That’s not happening, and you know it. You don’t want to be like this, trust me.”

“Exactly that. I have to keep watching the world as I know it end, over and over again, and I have to sit there and take it. It’s not like I’m going to forcibly turn everyone I love just so I don’t have to lose them. I’m not a fucking monster.” She raked her fingers through her hair. “I mean I am, but…” she sighed once more. “Not like that.”

It was exactly what he’d expected her to say. Despite the darkness inside her, despite the violence of her profession, somehow this woman had managed to hold onto a shred of humanity, and it still felt like she was a better person than he was most days. 

“You’re not a monster. Bloodsucker or not. You’re still my girl, and nothing’s gonna change that,” he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, holding her tight to him. 

tagging: @cassietrn

[wordy-little-witch]

Hiii i love ur crossguild posts so much and i wanna know ur headcanons/thoughts on vampire buggy and crossguild😳🙏 thank u sm ur onepiece posts r like a dose of dopamine and sometimes angst lmao

Hiiii~ 👋I'm happy you like this stuff - it's just as sweet and painful on me so if I go down, I'm taking you bozos with me /j

As for Cross Guild and Vampire Buggy - Oh Boy Have I Got Ideas

Aside from the obvious hilarity that, between the goth, the mafioso, and the bright ass clown, it's the CLOWN who is the vampire.... well. I really love little tidbits about vampire lore and world building so I'm gonna make this a silly lil mix of Vampire Concepts and expanding on Devil Fruit ideas.

It boils down to Devil Fruits being edible deals with the Sea Devil, thus changing their biology undeniably. For zoans, this equates them to smth similar to were-creatures of some kind, bleeding between the lines of their species. For logias, they are more similar to elemental spirits, witches, or some other element based being. ((I love alchemical spirits so I'm leaning to variants or derivatives there bc AAAA)). Paramecias, being the "weaker" of the Fruits, have more... "human-passing" options. It boils down sort of a mind, spirit, body type of thing with zoan, logia, paramecia respectively.

Anyway yeah Buggy's manifests as a form of vampirism. He didn't realize what exactly that was, nor how Devil Fruits work when he first ate it ((He was about 9/10 at most I'd say)). It was only after a meet up and play fight with Whitebeard that the other captain casually asked what Buggy's new side effects are. When nobody understands, he calls over Marco and his other Fruit Eater children because it's time for Devil Fruit crash course and this kid needs an educated adult.

Turns out Buggy's mild anemia was due to his Fruit and his oversensative observation Haki has always impacted all of his senses, so the uptick in smell barely even registered to him. When Whitebeard hears this, he is mildly frothing. He is ultimately assured when Roger chips in there with some of his own observations and even surprised a few people when he wordlessly passes Buggy some of his food as they talk. Bugs scarfs it down like a man starved, swaying happily while Shanks tries to steal more to pile onto the blue hair boy's semi-forgotten plate.

So yeah. Series of weird events for the realization. Very silly.

Come Cross Guild, I think Buggy probably had an entire system there. He's competent all things considered, for a man in a sea of monsters as it were. He just so happens to have a mild sun sensitivity, have sharper canines, have heightened senses and drinks blood. Not the weirdest thing.

Crocodile is vaguely aware of the side effects for paramecia types - Bon Clay often needed reminders of his own sense of self, and he's had others in Baroque Works he worked with. Even Robin had some odd little quirks here and there, well hidden though she kept them. He doesn't recognize Buggy's at first because he hides them and also... doesn't.

It's one of those things where it's known but not really a topic of discussion. Buggy never goes out of his way to hide it. It just Is. The drinks he has all the time? Blood.

Mihawk learns that the hard way lmao.

Actually I'll just make a list of Sillies

• Mihawk once saw Buggy drinking what he thought was red wine, and when the clown set the bottle and glass down to go do something, he snatched it up, gave it a swirl, a sniff, a sip - and immediately paused. Odd, he thinks, placing the bottle back. Odd, but not the oddest thing he has seen.

• Crocodile once dragged Buggy out of bed early one morning for work and made a snide remark about a day not fucking up his fancy skin care routine when Buggy hollered about his sunscreen. ((He did feel guilty later that evening when Buggy was covered in hives and blistered burns. He helped with the aloe and antihistamines that night))

• Mihawk is Fascinated by Buggy's fangs and need to drink blood. He loves trashy paranormal romance, and every time Buggy hisses, or mentions being hungry, or so much as yawns enough to show his fangs, he is Looking Disrespectfully. Straight up Autistic Gaze Meme Eyes.

• Crocodile is also Very Interested but wouldn't be caught DEAD alluding to it. He will side eye from afar.

• some days are harder than most, and when Buggy's clothes get torn or he's low on sun block, Mihawk and Crocodile both will do the shivalrous give-partner-his-jacket/coat thing.

• Buggy makes do mostly with carefully maintained stores of blood in sealed wine bottles and rarely actually bites anyone. Animals aren't common either but he does hunt sometimes. Eventually with Cross Guild rolling in the profits, Crocodile and Mihawk work together to uptick the medical areas and Buggy has access to a far fresher supply.

• post Med Expansion, Buggy can fairly frequently be found skipping along in his typical wear with a blood bag in hand, a corner snipped and a cartoonish swirly straw slipped in. He is THRIVING.

• when outsides hear about vampire allegations, they Immediately think Mihawk, then perhaps Crocodile as a possible second. The hilarity that unfold with the reaction to the truth is never short of insane.

• Buggy actually has only ever bitten a few people in his life. Once, Roger. A few times, Shanks. Once, a nameless, faceless marine in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time. Once an enemy bigger and stronger who threatened his fledgling little crew. It's odd, the feelings behind it, the sensory input. But eventually, he grows comfortable enough with Mihawk and Crocodile to try, to sink his fangs into flesh and drink from them. It's.... steamy to say the least.

Vampire Buggy my beloved ♡♡♡♡

[claryshifts]

Making American Horror Story DRs "Safe"

I'll update this with each season I watch! Most of this will focus on one of the "Evans" bc I know a lot of yall horny bastards wanna hop on him (real) Each section will have an "ultra safe" paragraph and a "safe as possible?" paragraph. idk -Murder House: Option One: The house isn't possessed or whatever you want to call it. Hell, you don't even have to live in it. Though Tate has problems with his mom (that adds a lot to his character, so I'd still 'keep that'), he's never had terrible thoughts of doing what he did at that school or any other gross things. I personally would still 'script out' the self-harm. Wouldn't want my partner to suffer that Option Two: If you still want that ghostly experience, then sure, by all means, live in the haunted house. but maybe cut out the satan part... Also script the ghosts don't have shitty timing (they don't bother you in the bathroom or when you're sleeping, for ex). If you want Tate as a ghost and not alive, still, don't date a ghost mass yknow what  😭  😭  BONUS: instead of tate, date violet 🥰🥰 -Asylum: Option One: You can live a nice quiet life with Kit. it's the 60s though, so if you're fem/poc/lgbt/etc, keep that in mind. whenever I go to a reality in the past I script I don't get bored without technology lol Option Two: have fun at the asylum, ig, boo. If you want some edgy lore, pls don't script you're a psycho killer or something omg 😭. Script none of the people in charge inflect punishments on you. If you really wanna get freaky in that musty place, script you don't get caught... and that its not all musty... -Coven: I got a lot to say bc I think Imma make a script for this too haha Option One: no scary demon devils or whatever. Uh, Kyle isn't treated like a sex object???? Nothing bad happens to Nan (she deserves better). If Kyle has to die (that sounds so weird to say) for your lore or whatever, don't purposely give him a traumatizing experience. this isn't a fan fic,, that's your REALITY. Honestly you could just script you're a silly little witch hanging out in New Orleans and call it a day. Madison isn't annoying af. No Axe Man. LaLaurie being Queenie's "slave" was deserved but maybe just script her 'out' altogether... Option Two: Okay, so you want the drama. Have the drama! Still no demon devils though cuz that does NOT sound fun. Script you and the people you care about are all safe from harm. If Kyle HAS to go through that terrible experience (I'm his biggest defender as you can tell), at least keep Madison and Zoe away or at bay bc seeing them fight over a guy who can't even say "food" and OBVIOUSLY can't verbally consent was so uncomfy, for me at least. -Freak Show: Option One: no scary clowns. The "freaks" aren't treated like shit. Neal Patrick Harris doesn't show up with his puppet??? No one is trying to make money off of the freaks. None of them are murdered or harmed. Option Two: Ig if you still want the plot they still have to be treated pretty shitty. Still would apply everything else though, as well as the fact nothing happens to you.

-Hotel: Option One: Ok look James March. Wonderful man. Make him NOT a serial killer omg. If you get with him I'm convinced a relationship with him would be straight up Morticia and Gomez uishfuihfjsf I want him so bad. Anyway, if he's your man keep the countess off your back, if you keep her there at all. I wouldn't recommend making yourself a ghost bc idk WTFFF that would mean for you spiritually. You could be sexy March's sexy human partner. Or the countess' partner. Anyone's partner. but alive. Um no 10 commandment killings of any sort, and no vampire children???

Option Two: ngl idk how else to put this?? idk if there should be an option 2 ;-;

Currently on Roanoke! this season is so boring I might not write anything for it

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Xander is genuinely an interesting character. It’s complicated because a lot of people now just see him as aged poorly or Joss 2.0 and completely ignore the actual show itself and why he is the way he is.

Between the books, not the comics, the actual books and the TV show you come to learn incredibly important things:

Xander had a goth phase for a while that is brought up in the books.

Xander struggles with depression and loneliness.

Xander’s bedroom was in the basement as far removed as a kid could get from their parents.

Xander’s parents fight frequently and violently.

Xander’s father is a cruel drunk who treats his son like an abomination.

All of the above literally explain why Xander is the way that he is….and current fans blatantly ignore and avoid that and it is mind boggling to me.

He wants to joke constantly and make awkward comments and jokes especially if he’s anxious or scared or uncomfortable. He seemingly doubts people aside from Willow could ever like him for himself so he settles for the role of being the clown. He wants to be seen and understood and loved and when Anya eventually offers him this he panics due to the fear that he will turn into an abusive monster like his father and ruin her. Xander ruined his relationship with Cordelia for essentially the same reason, the fear of ruining things, of dragging her into his family and this life that would result in depression and resentment for her. He cheated on her with Willow because Willow is the only person who knows him and knows his family situation and she is safe and comfortable and familiar and kissing her knowing she has loved him most her life at that point was manipulative and misdirected and wrong on his part…..but look at his home life.

The boy never saw what a relationship is meant to be. His parents were hateful and resentful. He didn’t grow up seeing love and he has a deep fear that maybe he can’t actually love somebody.

Even his relationship to Buffy feels like deep down she is who he wants to be more than wants to be with. She’s brave and strong and witty and smart and resourceful and can easily come across like she doesn’t have time to care what people think of her.

And because of the toxic masculinity of the 90s and the shit his own father tried to beat into him about being a real man….he resents that. He feels humiliated and resentful that this girl is everything he’s been told he should be. It’s why he gets so up in arms about Buffy breaking it off with Riley, because Riley is the type of man Xander grew up being told is a real man and he idolizes that.

Spike and Angel don’t fall into this role. Spike ironically enough like Xander we learn was soft and gentle and loved poetry and kind things and was mocked and teased by people for being the way that he was. Spike became a vampire and became blood thirsty but even seeing him with Dru through the centuries the gentle lover never died with his humanity, it comes out more and more as the show progresses and frankly it comes down to vampires have no need to care.

Once you have lived hundreds of years and may live hundreds more then the concept of gender norms and sexuality come to be meaningless human concepts.

Xander is this sort of tragic character who is trapped under so much fear and anxiety and grew up in a time when the worst things you could be is a woman or gay and he wanted badly to be masculine to be a hero to be brave and manly and all of that and it frequently ended up with him distancing from his friends, losing women who did love him and tried to understand him but he never let them close enough.

So anyway I really wish people would look at story more than 2023 social norms in a show made back in the 90s/2000s and also I wish the show had made Xander gay.

[beanghostprincess]

Mihawk's illicit affairs come to light (as in his messy as fuck polycule-situationship-him and every single man over the age of 37 in the grand line) one way or another and Perona is already aware of all of them so she just nods along while Zoro is increasingly losing his marbles next to her like "What do u mean Shanks? Luffy's pseudodad Shanks? CROCODILE? CROCODILE AND THE CLOWN? SIMULTANEOUSLY?WHY THE CLOWN?" whole while Mihawk is head in hands if I ignore it it isn't happening take a sip of wine hope no one brings up that one weird time with Dragon or I will never recover kind of mood. Maybe this is final arc adjacent and everyone is allied with each other against Blackbeard and Shuggy are fighting and Mihawk has his dirty laundry aired like this because neither Buggy nor Shanks comprehend the concepts of "public breakdown" or "using inside voices" or "fighting each other somewhere the entire world can't see it". Crocodile remains unphased, mostly because he is trying to avoid people he knows so he is unaware Shanks is bringing his business into his marital spat with Buggy. Also because he is shameless.

Mihawk doesn't get paid enough to deal with this shit, God forbid depressed homosexual vampiric swordsmen have fun-- And Zoro's reaction would be so funny because he'd just turn around to Perona like "YOU KNEW??? AND WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???" / "You didn't ask. And I knew you'd lose your mind and be annoying so...". He even tells Luffy when he sees him and asks him if he knows, and Luffy is like "Does it matter who he sleeps with? We're pirates! We should be free to do these things!" and Zoro is just like, head in hands, groaning, and saying "I don't give a fuck who he sleeps with, I just thought he'd have better taste and the thought of it is just ugghhh".

On the other hand, Shanks and Buggy do not know what privacy means so literally everybody knows about their affairs and dramas because the Shuggy/Cross Guild thing is a whole telenovela.

[honeyhive65]

I realized I never said who the SPO/SNES boxers were in this monster au so here’s a list…I’ll get to pizzas pasta and kid quick and Mr dream maybe idk. Also warning there are repeat monsters.

LIST OF SPO/SNES CHARACTERS AS MONSTERS + a bonus or two

MINOR CIRCUIT:

Gabby Jay- This dhampir is one of the more friendlier faces of Branch B. He even hangs out a bit with Branch A and tries his best to give as much advice as he can. Being half vampire, he has less weaknesses than the other Frenchman and only won because he was lucky enough Joe agreed to a day match with him. He attempted to help Joe cope with vampirism but he doesn’t exactly know all the negatives of it.

Piston Hurricane- unlike the other zombie of the WVBA, this one seems to have some attachment to his identity. He even vaguely knows how he died considering he woke up in a body of water next to the ruins of a town. He barely remembers anything else though besides basic info.

Bob Charlie- despite being a witch, Bob Charlie isn’t anywhere near being wicked. It was really just how he grew up and he boxes for fun…he may or may not bring some magic into the ring so best to keep your guard up anyways. He is after all still classified as a monster to the WVBA.

Dragon Chan- exactly what you think he is. A Dragonborn who wanted to get into kickboxing at first but thought that just meant boxing but you can kick. Joined the WVBA and was practically flying in the ring. It’s a miracle that the ref hasn’t stopped him yet.

MAJOR CIRCUIT:

Masked Muscle- a ghost of a luchador, masked muscle has unfortunately bound himself to the wrong organization but has grown too attached to the WVBA to leave. Didn’t realize that he was in boxing (or really even a ghost) and was pinning opponents to the ground in some of his earliest matches. Despite being a ghost, that spit of his still hasn’t left him even in the afterlife.

Heike Kagero- Despite being a carnivore, this siren doesn’t seem to have a taste for human flesh. Instead, he uses that voice of his to try and get an edge in his matches so best to plug your ears before the match. He even tries to use his own hair (the fact that it’s constantly wet doesn’t help at all). Surprisingly used to be one of Arans friends before the incident occurred.

Mad Clown- Sure he’s a clown from outer space, but he’s no killer…not one that I know of at least. This alien went down to earth in order to study humans a bit more. He dived into pretty weird things in order to understand humans more, one of which was opera. His latest subject has been sports and why not study by being one of the opponents? Unfortunately for him, he didn’t know he’d be fighting monsters and not humans. Thought taking the appearance of a clown would make him seem more human and likable…it didn’t.

Narcis Prince- while he certainly cares way too much for his looks, he actually has a good enough reason for not wanting to be hit hard. The doll he has possessed is porcelain! Hit him hard enough and his cheek might cave in and expose the void. He managed to find a doll that was life sized and has stuck with it for pretty much ever. Still, it’s his own fault if the doll is damaged he picked a sport entirely about punching and he’s still obnoxious about it.

WORLD CIRCUIT:

Hoy Quarlow- sometimes one must wonder why these species even choose to box. This skeleton may not be made of glass but he sure doesn’t look strong. Don’t let that fool you though, what he lacks in physical strength he makes up by bringing his scythe into the ring. Some people have even dropped dead while in the ring and every one has been ruled as a tragic accident even if there are no accidents when it comes to death.

Rick Bruiser- one of the two werewolf brothers of the WVBA and might as well be an accomplice for both hugger turning into a werewolf and Arans trauma (mocked both of them shortly after the worst moments of their lives). Rick plays dirty a lot in the ring and will bring out the claws unprompted. He sometimes wishes his brother will agree to a rematch but we all know that wont be happening especially since his brother lost the title.

Nick bruiser- the direct cause for hugger turning and Aran becoming the paranoid mess he is now, this werewolf is ruthless in and out of ring. He was desperate to keep his title and would have killed someone just to keep it…until it got stolen by someone else. His record has evened out a bit due to him constantly fighting the guy to get his title back.

Peter punch/birdie/whatever you wanna call SNES Mac cause we all know that’s not Mac- it’s said that if you see your own doppelgänger that that would be bad luck and an omen of death. However, this doppelgänger wanted to distance himself from his double to the point where people thought he was human despite his claims that he’s not…at least until Mac came along. Despite him changing his appearance, it didn’t stop Mac from immediately feeling a vague sense of familiarity in hjm.

BONUS WOO:

Jon (the ref)- this ghost has seemingly been employed at the WVBA for forever now. He wasn’t always a ghost though and has even worked as a ref when he was alive. However, if that weirdly familiar statue in the lobby was anything to go off of, this ref ended up annoying the wrong monster a little too much.

Doc Louis- an elderly werewolf who is training Mac to become the greatest boxer he can be. Despite being a werewolf, he is in no way hostile or even really that much of a threat seeing as though he turns into a chocolate lab on a full moon. He really shouldn’t be eating all that chocolate though.

[strangerpringle]

(‼️UPDATED HUNTRIC FIRST MEETING SCRIPT‼️) (CONTEXT: This is now a flashback minisode script where Hunter and Edric are both in their late thirties and have two kids Lewis(14) and Fionna(12) when Hunter and Edric tell Lewis about their first meeting)

Hunter, and Edric are sitting on the outside couch on the porch, while Fionna is playing with Batric, Lewis comes outside excited to show his dads what he’s been working on.

Lewis: Dad Papa, can you help me for a second I need some help on a few details.

Hunter: of course! Uh, what is the project exactly, you haven’t really told us what it is yet.

Lewis: oh yeah, I’m supposed to write a report on the most inspirational person or people in my life, and I had to go with you two since your story is so beautiful and moving and emotional it’s literally something that came out of one of my romance novels, it’s so interesting and inspiring to me!!

Hunter and Edric are practically in tears they did not expect that kind of response

Edric: *sniff*🥺

Fionna: booooooo I don’t wanna eavesdrop on all this gross sappy romance talk *blegh*

Lewis: Fionnaaaa if you’re gonna be like that then go back inside and watch your creepy clown movie or something-

Fionna: At least that’s entertainment-

Hunter: haha it’s ok Fionna-

Edric: don’t worry Lewi, sometimes kids don’t really care about romance. I didn’t really care about it until I found the romance section in the video store around your age, I think it was something about vampires-

Hunter: anyway, what did you need exactly?

Lewis: Oh yeah, *Lewis places long sheet of paper on the coffee table in front of them* I just wanted to make sure the timeline was correct, was the break up before or after aunt Mittens had the fight with Papa at Eclipse Lake?

Edric: Uh, before, and uh, we actually didn’t first meet when the abomitons were being transported to the old castle.

Lewis: Wait, really??

Hunter: I guess technically that’s when you first asked me out.

Edric: Wow, we really never told you?

Lewis: NO, I can’t believe I never fact checked this…

Hunter: heh, you remember that night?

Edric: How could I forget❤️

Hunter and Edric look over at Lewis, he has a VERY intrigued face.

Edric: You want to hear the story-

Lewis:-YES PLEASE!!

Hunter and Edric both giggle-

Hunter:Grom night, if I remember correctly, I haven’t even met Luz at that point.

Edric: ugh, the night me and Em got stood up-but also the night I met the love of my life~💞

Hunter: *blushes* and the night I met mine~💞

Lewis: EEEEEE *bouncing with excitement*

Fionna: *very exaggerated gags and covers her ears*

Edric: …23 years ago

Hunter: Titan we’re old-

Edric: HA-oh man…

(…)

It’s Grom night, and Edric and Emira are alone after being stood up, they’re having an argument because Emira’s upset…

Ed: "AT LEAST YOURE NOT ALONE"

Em: "ID RATHER BE ALONE THEN BE STUCK WITH YOU"

Ed: "…FINE IF YOU WANNA BE ALONE, THEN BE ALONE-“

Ed runs into a nearby forest, sad cold, and lonley. After a few minutes he sees a flash of red light coming right towards him-

The Golden Guard stops right at his tracks-

Edric is very taken aback, hes only heard of The Golden Guard, hes just never seen him before, he becomes slightly starstruck.

“Sir why are you here this is a dangerous forest, its not safe-“

Edric: Whatever, if the forest is gonna eat me alive let it-

GG: What why??

Edric: …it’d be a lot better then getting your heart broken🥺

GG: How did that even happen, wait what do you mean hearts can break-IS IT CONTAGIOUS??

Edric: what no?? It’s a saying-Ugh why do you even care, no one else would care if I died out here why should you??

GG: Look man I’m not good at this sort of thing, I just think it’s stupid that you’d rather be eaten alive by whatever horrific monsters roams around here then whatever happened to your heart, how did your heart become “broken”, I don’t see any bleeding?

Edric: CAN YOU JUST LET ME BE DRAMATIC GUESS WHAT SOMETIMES YOU FEEL PAIN WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING PHYSICALLY HURT-DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU OUT TO THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF THE SCHOOL YEAR ONLY FOR THEM TO NEVER SHOW UP AND MAKE YOI FEEL SO EMBARRASSED AND STUPID TO THINK THAT SOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY LOVE YOU- . . . sorry I, *sigh* I just wanted to have the perfect dance with the perfect guy…but I guess that was wishful thinking…

GG: I’m, sorry about that and no, I don’t know how that feels… can I do anything to help?

Edric: heh, can you dance?

GG: I uh, I dont know how to dance, uh, how do you even do that…?

Edric seems very intrigued by this information, "oh I can help with that-" The Golden Guard says it all, I dont have time, theres no point, I'm on a mission. "What? The Golden Guard is not aloud to have a little fun?" Edric swiftly takes his hand, and places it on his shoulder, takes the other and holds it high, while he takes his own, and places it on The Golden Guards shoulder, he slightly flinches, but relaxes after they slowly start to dance, Edric can tell hes nervous but decides not to poke fun at him.

After a few misteps, they start to find a rhythm…

"Well aren't you a fast learner" Edric says with a flirty tone...

The Golden Guard giggles slightly-

They danced for what seemed like forever…

Until a beam of light brightens the entire forest, both shocked and confused they stopped dancing, bits of black goo scurry away under them, "What in Titans name was that??" The Golden Guard yells, "is, that bits of Grom??" Ed questions "Gromethius, is here?" says The Golden Guard "not anymore apparently" replies Ed, they both laugh-

After stomping out the rest of grom, The Golden Guard apologizes to Ed having to miss his dance, smiling, Ed replies, "its ok, I had a better one right here..." The Golden Guard quickly turns away flustered and begins fiddling with his staff.

Edric shivers because of the cold, he left his coat with Emira. He then feels the warmth of a white cloak on his sholders, he looks over to see The Golden Guard without his cloak, and showing his pushed back light blonde hair, with only a strand out of place. "What about you?" Edric asks "It's fine, I can request another when I get back-" *peck*💞

Edric kisses the very flustered Golden Guard on the cheek and replies with a soft -

"Thank you…”❤️

GG: "h-happy to help-uh-"

Ed: "Edric."

GG: "Edric."

Edric suddenly feels butterflies in his stomach-💞

After a moment of silence Ed suddenly realizes- "WAIT WHATS YOUR-" a flash of red wisps into the night sky, "…name.."

"maybe next time, hopefully" Edric thinks to himself...

Edric starts to hear cheering in the distance, he follows it to see what the commotion is about and sees his little sister and her friend Luz being carried away by many students cheering, Mittens and Luz defeated Grom and are now being carried back to end the night with a fun dance celebration, Ed follows his sister and the crowed back to Hexside, still thinking about what happend.

Emira sees him and very worried starts bombarding him with questions, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, WHY THE FOREST OF ALL PLACES, WHAT WAS THAT LIGHT, WHOS CLOAK IS THAT???- but it all just went in one ear and out the other... everything that just happend was magical, more magic then he could ever conjure. He just walks away in his own mind and replays every second of that dance, a dance he never wants to forget, and he hopes someday, maybe, just maybe, he'll see him again.❤️

(…)

Edric: What I once thought was the worst night of my life, actually turned out to be better then I could ever imagine…💞

Hunter and Edric look at each other lovingly💞

Lewis: *in tears* that was beautiful…🥺

Fionna: Awww🥺… IM MEAN-EWWWw oh who am I kidding that was really sweet-

Lewis: Not so gross now huh-

Fionna: What?? I’m aloud to think it’s nice SOMETIMES-

Everyone laughs except Fionna-

Lewis: Hey dad, do you still have the cloak?

Edric: Oh, um, I probably do, just not here…

Lewis: *sigh* I can’t wait till I find my love of my life-oh-

A butterfly lands on Lewis’ nose, the wings spread out to show its colorful wings.

🧡💛🤍🩵💙

Fionna: oooo pretty! :D

Lewis: *takes butterfly on finger* *looks at it and smiles*

Butterfly flutters away into the sky…

*later*

Hunter and Edric arrive at a storage unit, unlock it and open it to see many boxes filled with old stuff that belonged to Ed Em Amity and Alador when they moved out of the mansion.

Ed and Hunter walk to the very back and find a few boxes labeled “Edrics closet”

Hunter helps Edric open and look through a few until Edric find a small white cloak that would only fit a 16 year old Golden Guard.

Hunter slowly grabs it and holds it up to himself, seeing how much he’s grown, and they both slightly giggle.

Hunter looks down at it, holding the cloak is bringing back memories, some he wishes he didn’t remember. Edric places his hand on Hunters sholder and gives him a look saying “you ok?” Hunter puts the cloak down and hugs Edric tightly. Edric hugs back and strokes Hunters hair to calm him. They start to sway side to side, and begin a small slow dance…❤️

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 11

Reddit tends to be much better with its Twilight takes than literally anywhere else, but you still get some clownery every now and again. A bit smarter than the usual fare, which is a nice change. But once again, we get BD ending whinging and other commonplaces. And so I eat! Om nom nom

“But Bella’s Career!!1!1”

*sighs, inserts the “don’t make me tap the sign” meme*

Twilight is a romance first, a coming-of-age YA story second. Of course, it’s going to focus on the love relationship(s) above all else! Even if Meyer personally shuddered at the thought of a housewife life, that wouldn’t change the fact that a romance book would focus on the fucking romance.

Hence, Bella’s career and social potential is not the point here—she is smart enough to succeed in most all her endeavors, and her social skills are fine. That has never been the problem. But she is limited by the fact that she comes from a working class, low-income background. No matter how smart she is, her opportunities will be limited. Classism 101.

So no, Bella could not have had “more with her life.” Her best-case scenario would have been to escape Forks and go to an affordable but mediocre college with plenty of grants and scholarships. Maybe get a good job, but then get screwed over by the 2008 crash and Covid. With Edward and the Cullens, though, she not only finds love and family, but money and even time is no longer a problem. She can go to university a million times as a vampire.

Also, it won’t fix the problem of Bella’s severe emotional neglect. She needs someone who will validate her. Without that support, Bella would be crippled emotionally and never progress. And therapy would be beyond her reach financially.

Meyer is an Austenite, so she understands the importance and impact of class and income on romance. She knew Bella’s character had to be a certain way in order to make the romance make sense. Hell, for Bella to even be attracted to Edward in the first place.

Team Jacob Fan Dumb

*studio audience groan* Not the goddamn khaki skirt again.

Bella is so damn passionate with Edward. Even in the beginning, she hugged him first thing in the morning (“Edward, you stayed!”), kissed him back during their first and second kisses, and is the one constantly pushing for sex. She fights with Edward about becoming a vampire and makes him promise not to give her presents for her birthday or graduation. She is furious with Edward for taking out her car’s engine, and when Edward gets Alice to kidnap her, Bella sends her growly “Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame by the time I’m done with you!1!!!” message. She cries when Edward plays her lullaby and sobs the night after they return from Italy because she thinks she is still dreaming. When Bella and Alice are reunited and Bella launches herself at her, Alice mentions she had forgotten how exuberant she is. In Eclipse, Bella was also willing to distract Victoria with her rock stunt.

With Jacob, Bella is also expressive, even more childish, but definitely not as passionate. She is angrier, not because she is more “alive” with Jacob, but because he constantly disregards her boundaries and consent. Bella is plenty alive with Edward—if she reads as more cautious as times, it’s because he’s a freakin’ vampire who could squash her like a bug. Hence, she tries not to make it harder for him than it already is.

Sanitized Imprinting

Clown OP: “This vampire imprinting plotline is too sanitized and not creepy enough!!1!”

Also Clown OP: *accurately details the reasons why many people think it is creepy*

We have no idea how Meyer will deal with the imprinting plotline when she finishes writing that Renesmee book. I have a feeling, though, that Jacob/Renesmee will have a lot of drama before they even get to a place of romance. For one thing, Edward and Bella themselves would never pressure Renesmee to accept Jacob. Hell, they struggled to come to terms with the imprinting and arguably never did—the imprinting drama was just subsumed by the Volturi drama. Once things do start going romantic, all of that drama will arise again.

Simping for the Movies

Edward yelling at Bella in the BD film was the worst OOC moment for me. It’s what broke Movie Edward for good (that, and the “spider monkey” shit).

Book Edward did not pretend Bella was fine, not even for a moment. He was literally in hell. Jacob was traumatized just by looking at him. But Edward knew that he could not force Bella to choose otherwise without breaking something fundamental about their relationship.

Also, Bella was NOT committing suicide. She had a plan. When the baby was out, she would immediately be turned into a vampire via Edward’s venom, which would heal her. It was an insanely risky plan that could have gone wrong in so many ways, but it wasn’t on blind faith.

The dumbass films neglected to write this, though, and so they broke Movie Bella. Fuck them all, and never, ever try to make the movies canon.

“Stephenie didn’t mean this positively—” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Edward and Carlisle—who, reminder, were hardcore Team Abort Fetus—are definitely framed sympathetically in the narrative. Jacob even does a 180 on his entire attitude just by speaking to Carlisle, who isn’t portrayed at all negatively for his stance. Alice, also one of the most sympathetic characters in the books, is also Team Abort Fetus.

And Edward’s suffering at Bella’s pain is one of the most heartbreaking things in the series. Even through Jacob’s POV (who is prejudiced!!!) it is framed that way. Occam’s Razor? Meyer definitely meant this positively.

Team Human Bella Fan Dumb

I disagree. Bella’s vampirism is not like a human adult life. It’s better.

Homegirl doesn’t have to sleep, only has seven years of raising Renesmee to adulthood, Renesmee herself skipped infancy, she is finally social equals with Edward, and she has gained his whole family as her own. Also, once again, she could go to college a million times.

With another man or even with Jacob, it would be pretty much business as usual for Bella, the exact same as with Renée and Charlie: Cooking, cleaning, and then the child-rearing. Those won’t heal Bella’s emotional neglect, but exacerbate it. Jacob has the advantage of protecting Bella physically from any and all dangers, but he would still require human comforts. And Jacob himself has proven he is no equalist/feminist.

The best case scenario for Bella, apart from therapy, would still be vampirism, and Meyer knew it. Bella herself is drawn to vampirism in ways she is not to the wolf shapeshifters. The BD endgame was not at all outdated; it was beyond clear that Bella would choose Edward always, and choosing Edward means choosing immortality.

And Jacob did want to imprint by the end. He even went to Seattle to look at girls, willing himself to imprint on any of them. Imprinting wasn’t even against his character by that point.

At the end of Eclipse, Bella absolutely does not accept herself yet. Her revelation was due to what she would be giving up re: humanity and accepting the cost.

In Breaking Dawn, she does not hang out with Jacob—he only returned for the wedding, and it was a complete surprise to Bella. Jacob returned on his own volition to Bella, who accepted him. And while Bella still retains some of her modesty, she finally describes herself as “a dark beauty” when she sees herself in her wedding dress. She also dresses up when she meets with Jenks. Those are not insignificant.

I think by that point, Bella finally does see herself as worthy of being with Edward, or at least accept that she has a powerful claim to him. She isn’t even jealous of Tanya anymore.

Based Takes

Bella is so well-written, you can give me any scenario and I could tell you how she would react to it. I’m not sure what happened on the Stewart/Hardwicke/Rosenberg front to destroy her character like this, but something did happen. Maybe it was a clusterfuck of all three.