#and they look a little sus too lol
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NO WAY THEY JUST BROUGHT IN A BUNCH OF YALL POSSE KINS FOR AN EPISODE EXCUSE ME?????????
#this is vee speaking#HOW DOES FP STANS KEEP EATING LIKE THIS#WHAT ABOUT THE T!TS OUT FOR KUUKOU REPRESENTATION LIKE MYSELF MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN#THIS IS HOW I KEEP LOSING LMAO /J#i am so not feeling normal about that screenshot with dice and his kin liiiiiiike…… they kinda……… i meeeeean……… 👀👀👀#it’s so funny to me they’ve discovered this group in osaka lmao will fp (fraud posse) be speaking with osaka accents lol????#and they look a little sus too lol#i can’t wait to see what they’re going to do with shibuya division’s chronic identity crises vs their copycats or clones if you will 😩🤌#c: ramuda#c: gencha#c: daisu
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In the city!
Commission for missyuniverse_ for her fanfic at Wattpad! ( account: Kittens_escapism or juanitasuniverse ) 😊😊😊
#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#SU#Those guys I googled for references of the peeps in the background#also random references for the building and such#I used a gaussian blur to blur the background and I'm thinking now I might or should find a different way to blur my background. 🤔#It was an odd experience drawing his vest because I used a real life reference at first and it looked so off. Then I used a drawing referenc#e and it instantly fixed it? So. like. I don't always trust real life reference after that.#I'm crying I really really wish I'll learn to draw facial hair some day.#I mean the client described that he only unintentionally grew stubbles because he got busy with something. but still#Why is my laptop already laggy I already restarted this and Nothing else but Chrome and Medibang is opened. -_-#I took so long to do the background. lol but I'd rather it stay blurred because of how it turned out.#Trust me it looked way bettered blurred. haha#Sorry.. Connie is suppose to be wearing her hair in a cute high ponytail with a small braid added little star accessories.#I'm not sure but I'm hoping the ponytail is still discernable#adult connverse#Okay I did spend this way too long in general but it was still fun drawing it#my shiz#commissioned work
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It's amusing how mdzs is about depressed fucked up men who throw shades at others without sitting for a moment to think about their problems lol. They are all so unreliable
#wwx: look what peacock jzx is! He's showing off. Pfff. *wwx then starts showing off*#jgy: how mad jc is about wwx lol *says the man with dage' head in his rooms*#Not talking about xy and his 'mad dog'#They are so unreliable it's too funny.#I was going to say mdzs from jc's pov would be hilarious. because he's a huge bitch. True but#We have been robbed of su she's pov#Like. Dude has opinions#He probably thinks that lan xichen is 'undeserving of jgy's love'. Like.'You two talk about poetry but I help him to kill people'#'I know him best' . yeah I ship su she x jgy - su she is obsessed with jgy. that's the ship#Su she's pov about the lan sect would be hilarious lol#mar!nonsense#Shout out to autumnslantern to make me understand what little idiots they all are lol#Anyway. I actually think it's intentional how unreliable they all are. It goes well with the 'rumors aren't true. You shouldn't judge'
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(reaction) unintentionally riding the squid game characters, let’s mingle ! 둥글게 둥글게 !
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contains — myungi x reader, thanos x reader, namgyu x reader, daeho x reader, gihun x reader, ali x reader, junho x reader. smut , 18+ !
summary — going on the disco pang pang ride with the squid game characters and you end up on top of them (you gotta look up the ride to understand lol)
a/n — this prompt was firstly done by luvyeni with this fic here! i wanted to do this with squid game so this wasn’t my idea, all credits to them.
masterlist
KANG DAEHO / PLAYER 388
he is absolutely embarrassed and feels like a total perv. he was blushing so hard that he looked like he had a fever. he spews out apologies the whole time and is totally ashamed of himself as he uses his hand to cover his face once he felt his dick getting harder and harder, and when he could tell that you could feel him too, the shame he felt was too much. his precum starts seeping through his pants and he swears he’s about to actually cum if this ride doesn’t end soon and you don’t get off of him. he has to bite his lip back to stop any moans from slipping and he is absolutely not looking forward to speaking to you once this ride is over and he for sure isn’t looking forward to getting the pictures of this event back from the ride operator. this will be a moment that he thinks about daily. please don’t mention this to him ever again.
“god, i’m s’sorry…can this ride be over please?”
THANOS / PLAYER 230 / CHOI SU-BONG
he’s a shameless fuck, okay? he’s going to smirk up at you while he watches the blush paint all over your cheeks as you try to move off of him. “wow, you’re so thirsty for cock you gotta ride me in public?” all you can do is tell him to shut up. but as the goofiness wares off and the situation settles a little more on him and he can actually feel the tent in his pants, he starts grinding up against you and thrusting up a little, fucking you through your pants. bits of precum start leaking out when he can actually feel his dick hitting your tiny hole, and as soon as you two get off this ride, you both are going home.
“fuck, look what you did. you gonna help me out?”
SEONG GIHUN
he didn’t want to get on this ride in the first place, claiming he was too old but you had forced him onto it and right now he hates himself. he feels like a teenage boy getting hard at the sight of the slightest bit of skin showing on a girl. he refuses to look up at you and tries to push you off of him, but when you plop right back down on him, he swears he just came in his pants. “gihun—”, but he stops you from speaking anymore. “don’t! i— i don’t think i can do this much longer, i’m sorry—” he throws his head up towards the sky and then towards the ride operator thinking ‘why me?’. once you two get off of the ride and he can feel something dripping down his leg, he swears he’s gonna kill himself once you two get home. he can’t bare to look at you and he refuses to ask you to help him out with his ‘problem’.
“gihun, come out of your room! it’s okay, i understand!”
“please just let me wallow in shame…”
MYUNGI / PLAYER 333 / MG COIN ★
he doesn’t give a fuck. sits there like it’s completely normal. you’ll feel him hard, but it won’t be crazy noticeable. he’s not some horny teenager who just learned that girls don’t piss out of their ass, you won’t catch him cumming in his pants. but once you two get somewhere more private, he’s going to claim that he’s finishing what you started. but don’t think the situation isn’t turning him on completely. every chance you had to get off of him, he doesn’t let you. he holds you down on his dick by your waist and he smirks at the blush slowly spreading on your cheeks as you look at him with wide eyes. the way he speaks to you makes it seem like he’s claiming that you fell onto him on purpose.
“what? you came onto me. so help me fix my problem since you’re so needy.”
HAWNG JUNHO
not utterly embarrassed but he’s not too calm about it either. you certainly catch the blush on his cheeks, but with one hand he holds your hip down with a grip that falters from tight to light, as if he doesn’t know weather he wants to get you off of him or if he wants you to stay. but once he realizes that he doesn’t want the people around him to see how hard he is, he grips you close to him with both of his hands. you can feel his fingernails digging into you every now and then when there’s a particularly rough bounce and he has to squeeze his eyes shut. you could tell he was fighting demons in him, the sweat that was dripping down his forehead was concerning. when the rides over he makes you stand closely in front of him to keep his boner hidden, and you can feel it pressing right smack against your ass. when you turn around to face him, he has a small shy smile on his face, the light pink still dusting over his cheeks.
“sorry…do you think we could take care of this maybe and finish this trip another day?”
NAMGYU / PLAYER 124
he tries to play it off and teases you while laughing. “couldn’t go without my cock for two hours?” he even thrusts up a couple of times to tease you, but after awhile he realizes it’s not a joke anymore and when he can feel the precum threatening to leak, he realizes he’s just been teasing himself and he quickly snaps his head to the side and pushes a hand against your chest. what were you trying to do here? if you go to tease him back and grind on him as revenge he’s going to give you the absolute fattest glare.
“what? i thought it was a joke, right?”
“i swear i’ll push you into the center right now if you don’t stop.” (he’s not joking)
ALI ABDUL
he was super excited to go to the amusement park and try out this ride for the first time, but he certainly didn’t expect this to happen. everytime he goes to move you and you somehow wound up back on top of him, he honestly wants to cry from the shame. at first it was funny, but now it was clearly starting to get him excited. yeah it felt good but, “stop it ali, get yourself together…” he just felt way too bad and he ends up giving up on the whole situation and just has to cover his whole face with both of his palms. everytime that you laugh and say that it’s okay, he thinks it’s getting better, but then you bounce right back down and he can’t take it. he’s holding his precum back (i don’t know how at this point) and it’s making tears sting and prick his eyes. he knew he was gonna have to jerk off to fix this and when he was, he was totally going to imagine this, he knew it, and it made him so ashamed. he definitely mumbles some things in urdu that you don’t understand at all, but just know he’s shaming himself and throwing a few curses at himself.
“i’m so sorry. i’ll make it up to you, i swear. what is wrong with you ali?”
#squid game x reader#thanos x reader#namgyu x reader#myungi x reader#gihun x reader#ali x reader#daeho x reader#junho x reader#hwang junho x reader#myunggi x reader#myung gi x reader#squid game smut#squid game#player 333 x reader#junho#thanos#ali abdul x reader
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ft. in-ho (001) ‧ hyun-ju (120) ‧ nam-gyu (124) ‧ su-bong (230) ‧ se-mi (380) ‧ dae-ho (388) ‧ jun-ho
a/n — did these bc i was bored… english is not my first language, sorry if there’s any mistakes !
HWANG IN-HO (황인호) / PLAYER 001
in-ho doesn’t let his jealousy show. not even a twitch of the eye. when he sees someone flirting with you, his expression remains calm—maybe even a little amused. the mask never slips, but there’s something cold and calculating beneath it, like a viper watching from the grass.
he has a habit of always “coincidentally” being nearby. yeah.
in-ho knows exactly how to manipulate without being overt. he never accuses, never demands. instead, he asks harmless little questions like, “you two seem to be getting along well.”
and then, after a small pause—he adds, “be careful who you trust. some people don’t have your best interests at heart.” his tone is casual, but he’s planting seeds of doubt, nudging the situation just enough to make you second-guess. his gaze flickers briefly to gi-hun, like he’s searching his face for confirmation. am i right?
then, as if to break the awkward tension, in-ho lets out a light laugh. “i suppose you can’t completely trust us, either.”
tl;dr — man doesn’t always slip up, but when he does, he backtracks FAST
CHO HYUN-JU (조현주 ) / PLAYER 120
she’s a pretty straightforward and genuine, so her jealousy would come across in a very honest, but an insecure way. when she notices someone flirting with you, she won’t try to hide how she feels, though she also won’t cause a scene in front of them.
instead, she’ll try to naturally slide into the conversation, maybe offering a friendly smile or a casual comment just to insert herself without being too obvious.
afterward, when it’s just the two of you, she’ll admit that she didn’t like how things went. she’d be direct but still unsure, maybe looking away or fiddling with her hair as she confesses, “i don’t know… i didn’t like how they were talking to you. it made me feel… weird. i know it’s silly, but…” even though she’s admitting her feelings, she’ll follow it up with a self-conscious laugh, brushing it off in a way that makes it clear she doesn’t want to burden you, even if she just needed to say it.
NAM-GYU (남규) / PLAYER 124
nam-gyu’s jealousy is ugly. unlike thanos, who masks his irritation with forced camaraderie, nam-gyu doesn’t even try to hide it. the second he catches you talking—laughing—with someone else, his expression sours.
his eyes flick away like he can’t be bothered, but his irritation lingers in the small, compulsive gestures that follow. fingers twitch toward his face, rubbing his temple and dragging down his cheek in a slow, irritated motion as if he’s physically restraining himself from saying nasty. then, he tucks his hair behind his ear, fingers lingering at the ends before dropping back to his side.
tl;dr — just am interesting quirk i noticed lol
but later? when it’s just the two of you? suddenly, he’s different. as if the bitterness never existed in the first place. his hands disappear into the sleeves of his jacket, the fabric bunching at his wrists as he curls his fingers inside like paws. he tilts his head slightly as he leans closer, “y/n~” he drawls, dragging out your name. “why were you talking to them for so long? you’re not getting bored of me, are you?”
and the person who got a little too comfortable in your presence? yeah, they’re screwed.
nam-gyu doesn’t just make their life difficult—he makes it fucking dangerous. during games, he’s reckless with them. a sudden, well-timed shove at the worst possible moment. a convenient distraction that nearly gets them eliminated. nothing that can be traced back to him, of course.
when he passes their bunk, he gives a small shove to the back of their head as he walks by, the kind that makes it look like an accident, but it’s far from it.
CHOI SU-BONG (최수봉) / PLAYER 230
thanos wouldn’t be subtle about his jealousy—he’d be super obnoxious about it.
the moment he catches someone flirting with you, he’s all over them, acting like they’re best friends. throws an arm around their shoulder chummily, “my boy!” he grins, smacking them on the back so hard it nearly knocks the air out of them. his overall demeanour is playful, but there’s something off about it. like he’s sizing them up. like he’s deciding how much of a problem they’re about to become.
later, he and nam-gyu make it their personal mission to make their life even more miserable than it already is.
during mealtime, the person just so happens to trip right in front of everyone. maybe it’s thanos’ foot, maybe it’s nam-gyu’s—either way, they did a face-plant. thanos crouches beside them, fake sympathy dripping from his voice. “damn, that must hurt,” he says, shaking his head. “maybe you should be more careful, yeah? how else are you gonna survive the next game?”
it doesn’t stop there. at the bunks, he and nam-gyu make a point of cornering them, bodies blocking any easy escape. thanos grins, “so, you’re real friendly with y/n, huh?” with nam-gyu smiling cutely menacingly in the background. if they try to shrug it off, he just laughs. “aw, don’t be shy! we love meeting new friends.”
if the poor bloke ends up alone in the men’s bathroom? bad luck. thanos is suddenly right there, leaning against the urinal stall, inspecting his colourful nails. “hey, man. funny thing…” his voice drops, and the humour is gone. “you don’t wanna make yourself a problem, yeah?” he doesn’t have to say it outright. the message is clear.
SE-MI (세미) / PLAYER 380
se-mi’s reaction is barely noticeable. when she sees someone flirting with you, her expression doesn’t change, but her eyes get a little colder, and she might look away, focusing on something else.
she might look at you for just a second too long, as if waiting for you to catch her gaze and understand without saying anything.
she doesn’t hold a grudge, but she definitely keeps her distance until she feels like you’ve figured it out on your own.
KANG DAE-HO (강대호) / PLAYER 388
when he sees someone flirting with you, dae-ho doesn’t get angry—he just feels a creeping sense of inadequacy settle in his chest.
if you try to talk to her after, her responses are polite, but there’s a certain sharpness to them—like she’s not fully engaged. every now and then, she’ll throw in a comment, maybe something about not trusting people easily or how “everyone has their own agenda,” but it’s all under the radar.
being the good-natured person that he is, dae-ho doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t push himself into the conversation. but if there’s a chance to naturally one-up them, he’ll take it. dae-ho’s jealousy is a bit more showy, but not in a malicious way. he straightens his posture a little more. rolls up his sleeve to expose the marine tattoo on his arm.
dae-ho isn’t one to sulk, but he goes quiet. fidgets more, rubbing the back of his neck, cracking his knuckles, anything to keep his hands busy. when he looks at your direction, it’s fleeting—like he’s afraid of seeing something he doesn’t want to.
he never lets it turn into resentment. dae-ho doesn’t want to be that guy, doesn’t want to make it your problem. but later, when it’s just the two of you, he gets a bit clingy.
HWANG JUN-HO (황준호)
a gentleman to his core, jun-ho’s jealousy doesn’t come with flare or outward signs. when he sees someone flirting with you, his smile remains polite, almost cordial. posture stays poised, tone respectful—nothing gives away the annoyance bubbling inside.
if the other person crosses a line—that’s when the temperature drops. a slow blink. a slight tilt of his head. a stare just sharp enough to unsettle. jun-ho doesn’t need words to make his presence known.
──⟢ fear-is-truth — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.
#squid game s2#squid game season 2#squid game#in ho x reader#in ho#player 001#hyun ju x reader#hyun ju#player 120#nam gyu#nam gyu x reader#namgyu x reader#player 124 x reader#thanos x reader#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#player 230#player 230 x reader#se mi x reader#squid game thanos#squid game se mi#player 380#kang dae ho#dae ho x reader#player 388#dae ho x y/n#hwang jun ho#jun ho x reader#squid game x reader
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had a little jaunt to another shop location this afternoon to help out & do a lil training and boy did they need it 😳😳 even my dumbass was blowing their minds with basic ass info
#also i may have a new crush 😂😂😂😂 there's just something about estimators ig#well. hes not officially an estimator yet. but still#and he was staring at me 👀 and at the end of the day he sounded way too eager when he asked if i was coming back tomorrow#i mean maybe he's just grateful to have someone else answer the phones lol. dude was writing estimates ordering parts & washing cars#but the way he was staring and he'd look away when i looked at him 👀👀👀 a little sus ngl#anyway the new manager there was an outside hire i think.. he did not know this company's processes for doing things at all#but i liked the change of scenery!!! itd be nice to be an actual trainer and drive around & work at different locations regularly#too bad they got rid of the trainers & that job doesn't exist anymore
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Baby Gumi giving Toji the sus look when he saw the love bites on Mommy's chest
Toji forgot his baby has sharp senses for a baby and baby thought Toji ate his food or hurt Mommy lol
(im starting to feel like y'all wanna turn this acc into a toji thirst vault)
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Megumi always had a habit of looking up at his dad weird, the two year old boy always found his dad weird.
So he would spend most of his time toddling towards you and taking up any free space that was available next to you.
The baby boy loved to be in your arms very much, therefore everytime he woke up to find you already waiting there for him near his crib with a warm smile he'd try to get up on his small chubby legs holding onto the rail guards of the crib then forward one of his hands to make grabby hands at you.
You spent most of the day holding the baby boy in one arm and doing every other chore in your house while your husband was out for work because Megumi absolutely refused to leave your side unless he was in a deep slumber.
But as much competent the little boy was so was his dad, Megumi enjoyed all his fun time with you until it was time for his dad to come back from work, the two year old will get all pouty and fussy as soon as he'll hear the slamming of the front door and a loud "I'm home!" followed by the literal thudding of his dad's running feet.
The baby boy's brows would knit together and his tiny button nose would scrunch in distaste as soon as his dad would pull you away from his side to engulf you in a hug and lay bunch of his dirty smooches on your face.
ew, Megumi would think.
Megumi always got annoyed at his dad for doing these stuff to his mom, believing his mom was just a very nice lady to not turn his dad down.
The little boy knew his fun time was over as soon as his dad was home. He would toddle out of his room and find you sitting alone in the couch, peacefully watching television, then he would proceed to start running towards you almost tumbling in his steps just so he can climb up and sit down next to you.
But then the tall giant will casually walk in and let his entire body fall down horizontally on the couch, immediately planting his head on your thighs as well, leaving literally no space for Megumi.
The two year old boy would pause in literal disgust and shock,
This would get the two year old so mad that he would get down to pick up his toy spoon from the floor and start smacking it on the old man's head who in return would start yelling in surprise at why his son was being such a brat while you try pulling him away from his dad.
Now Megumi thought he has seen all the worst sides of his dad, until, one morning the baby boy wakes up way too early than usual due to a nightmare. Not finding you besides his crib he immediately manages to crawl up by standing on his little pile of plushies.
Megumi was indeed a smart baby.
Tumbling towards his parent's shared bedroom he could hear some weird noises coming as he got closer,
he was sure most of it were your voices though?
But you sounded like you were in pain??
He slowly opens the door which was already a bit agape,
he really couldn't understand what was going on since he was way too small and his vision could only go up so far.
But then he hears the loud sound of what he considered to be a slap along with the rough angry voice of his dad followed by your sobs,
he cannot believe his dad was hurting you ! Oh he always believed his dad was a mad man,
He was definitely worst than the monsters under his crib !
and that's all it takes for the baby boy's bottom lips to quiver and let the loudest wail out,
He felt like that helped because through his blurry vision he sees his dad immediately spring out of the bed, murmuring a string of what you taught him were "bad words" while fumbling around for something.
Your head pops out of the covers as soon as you were done fixing your night gown but the two year old was way too busy crying and rolling fat drops of tears down his red cheeks to realize that you had taken him in your arms.
"Gumi- baby what's wrong- " you try to rock him in your arms but that didn't seem to be helping,
"you are just like me kid, all grumpy early in the morning" His dad tries casually playing it off after slumping down besides you both,
but the 'just like me' causes the baby's cries to get even worst making you pass your husband a mad glare for saying that,
Toji stares at you both offended.
"I'm sorry, mommy wasn't there this morning- Won't happen again honey! I'll play with you all day today, we wont be able to play if you keep crying!" you smile as he starts to slowly quite down at those words.
"What a good little boy" You praise, slowly caressing his head and moving his little black baby hair away from his forehead.
His pout is still on his face as his vision moves down from your face but then it stops,
while Toji was joking at you about how he deserves the 'good boy' title as well and you were busy brushing him off, you both failed to notice the little boy's growing frown as he stared at all the purple bruises around your neck and collar bones.
He feels his vision start to get blurry again and then its there again,
His mouth opens wide showing off the two new set of teeth as he starts crying bloody murder.
You gasp in panic not understanding what had happened again.
As you tried to rock him again he tried getting away from your arms and instead stretching his hand towards his dad as he continued balling his eyes out.
That confused you and Toji,
He has never chosen Toji before for comfort as long as you were there,
But Toji was a little too happy to care,
"Does my little boy wanna be with daddy??" He coos, stretching his arms out for you to hand the baby to him,
"I knew you always had a soft spot for me kiddo" he gushes as soon as he takes his baby boy in his arms.
But the happiness didn't seem to have lasted long, because as soon as Megumi gets close to his dad's face his little hands flung up to grip on the locks of his dad's hair.
"What's u-" He yelps when the baby boy starts to twist and turn his fists while he continues to babble something only another baby could make out and sob like he was the one in pain,
"Oh god- baby you shouldn't do that come here-"
You try pulling Megumi back in your arms, but he is willing to take Toji's head along because he just wasn't loosening his grip.
"Gumi ! mommy will cry if you don't pay attention to her !" You make a pouty face and put your hands on your hips while Toji was busy yelping and cursing not caring that the little boy could hear everything
But that immediately gets the baby's attention because he instantly turns his head around and starts crawling to you as his cries slowly starts dying down.
"Demon child !" Toji points as he runs his hands through the locks of his hair, rubbing at the area that his son almost got him bald at,
You lift the baby up in your arms as you look at Toji,
"and don't you curse again in front of our baby" you knit your brows before turning your attention to the two year old and wiping the tears away from his puffy cheeks.
"So I'm the bad guy here??" Toji questions, looking defeated.
You shrug and walk away with Megumi in your arms who had finally gotten quite.
Oh you and Toji had a lot of explaining to do to this little boy, but that wasn't a headache you both were willing to take for Monday morning.
Maybe later at night, when Megumi will seemingly be a bit less pissed at his dad.
☆ — REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED !
#toji x reader#toji drabbles#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji fushiguro#is this fluff or angst idk#wtv this was#jjk fluff#jjk drabbles#art cred: scallopojisan
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Parting Gift - Player 230
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Dark!Thanos/Choi Su-bong x Fem!Reader
This is part 2 of my mini series love ridden (you don’t have to read part 1 but it helps you get a deeper understanding of their relationship)
Warnings: Toxic relationship,Emotional manipulation and gaslighting, DUBCON/implied sexual misconduct, power imbalances and coercion,mentions of substance abuse,threats of self-harm, mentions of bruising, vomiting, unreliable memory
Summary: “It ended bad, but I love what we started.” A night out, was supposed to be a distraction, a step to moving on. Instead it leaves you questioning everything. Loosely inspired by Parting gift-Fiona apple
MINORS DNI!
A/n: ahhhh here it is! This is very much a wild ride so be prepared and get comfortable lol. Lmk if yall fw. I love feedback. Lmk what you think!!
……………………..
“Two years.”
It echoes in your head as you stare at your phone. The screen blinks, illuminating the dark, quiet apartment, and your reflection stares back at you. Hollow eyes. Lifeless skin.
You don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
Two years of late nights.
Two years of broken promises.
Two years of fights that always ended the same way — with you apologizing for things you hadn’t even done.
Two years of Su-bong.
The notifications keep coming.
Messages. Missed calls. Voicemails.
You blocked him a week ago. You had to.
Before that, you let the calls go unanswered. You left his texts on read. But after that voicemail, you couldn’t take it anymore.
It wasn’t just the things he said.
It was the way he sounded.
Drunk. High out of his mind. Slurring his words like he could barely get them out.
You’d heard him like that before, of course. Countless times. But this was different.
The shaking breath at the beginning of the message.
The muffled sound of a bottle cap hitting the floor.
The distinct rattle of a pill bottle.
And then his voice —
Low. Rough. Desperate.
“You know, if you don’t fucking answer me…”
There was a pause. You could hear him breathing.
“Maybe I should just end it all.”
Another pause. Longer this time.
The sound of pills being shaken in his hand.
“It’s in your hands now.”
You remember sitting on the floor of your new apartment, the phone clutched in your hands, shaking so hard you thought you might drop it.
That was the breaking point.
You blocked him.
It was hard. Very hard.
What if he was serious?!
What if he did it and it was your fault?!
But it didn’t stop the nightmares.
It’s been a month since the breakup, and you haven’t left your apartment in days.
The dishes are piled up in the sink. Your laundry is overflowing.
You haven’t brushed your hair in three days.
The weight of it all feels suffocating.
You thought leaving him would make you feel free.
Instead, you feel empty.
When your phone buzzes again, you ignore it.
It’s probably Ji-hye.
She’s been trying to get you to go out for weeks.
“You need to live a little,” she said last time you saw her.
But you don’t feel like living.
Still, when your phone buzzes again, you pick it up.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗ (9:17 PM): Come out with us tonight. Please?
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗ (9:18 PM): There’s a new club opening in Itaewon. It’ll be fun.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗ (9:19 PM): I’m not taking no for an answer.
You stare at the messages for a long time.
The thought of going to a club makes your stomach turn.
You haven’t been out in two years.
You haven’t been you in two years.
But the apartment feels too small.
Too quiet.
Too empty.
Fuck it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The shower burns your skin.
You scrub until you feel raw, as if you can wash away the last two years.
But no amount of scrubbing erases the bruises —
The ones he left on your heart.
When you step out, you wipe the fogged mirror and stare at your reflection.
Your hair is a tangled mess.
Your eyes are rimmed with dark circles.
You look like someone who’s been barely holding it together.
This isn’t who I am, you tell yourself.
You plug in your hair straightener. You do your makeup.
By the time you’re done, you almost feel like yourself again.
You rifle through your closet, pulling out a black dress you haven’t worn in years. It still fits — snug and short, hugging your body in a way that feels foreign after months of oversized hoodies and leggings.
When you step into your heels, you wobble for a second.
It’s been so long since you’ve worn anything but sneakers.
But when you look in the mirror again —
You see her.
The girl you used to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ji-hye and her friends are already tipsy when you meet them outside the club.
She squeals when she sees you.
“Look at you! You look amazing!”
You try to smile, but it feels forced.
The club is packed.
Neon lights pulse to the beat of the music.
Bodies move together on the dance floor.
Ji-hye hands you a shot as soon as you walk in.
“Drink up!”
You down it quickly, the burn making you wince.
“Another?”
Why not?
By the time you lose count, you’ve had at least six shots.
Maybe more.
You stopped counting after the first round of tequila.
The room spins slightly, but you feel good.
Better than you’ve felt in weeks.
You laugh with Ji-hye.
You dance with strangers.
For the first time in a long time, you feel free.
And then you see him.
At first, you think your eyes are playing tricks on you.
But when you blink, he’s still there.
Su-bong.
He’s standing near the bar, his eyes locked on you.
His hair is messy, his shirt unbuttoned at the top.
He looks the same as he always does —
Rough around the edges, disheveled in that careless way that made you fall for him in the first place.
But there’s something in his eyes —
Something dark.
Your stomach twists.
The room feels too hot.
You grab Ji-hye’s arm.
“Ji-hye. Is he…?”
Her eyes widen.
“Oh shit.”
“What the fuck is he doing here?”
She bites her lip, looking guilty.
“I didn’t know. I swear. But he’s friends with Seung-ho.”
She nods toward one of the guys in their group — a guy you don’t know well.
Of course.
Of fucking course.
Your heart pounds in your chest, a wild, frantic beat.
You down another shot, your hands shaking slightly.
Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll go away.
But he doesn’t.
When you look up again, he’s moving toward you.
You see him before he speaks.
The way he weaves through the crowd, his gaze locked on you like he’s on a mission.
You look away.
You try to pretend you didn’t see him.
But it’s too late.
He’s right there.
“Hey.”
His voice cuts through the noise, low and rough.
You don’t turn around.
You keep your eyes on your drink, your knuckles white as you grip the glass.
“I didn’t know you came here.”
He leans in closer, his breath warm against your ear.
Your whole body goes stiff.
“Fuck off, Su-bong.”
Your voice is steady, but your heart is pounding.
He doesn’t move.
Instead, he slides into the seat next to you.
Like he belongs there.
Like nothing happened.
“Come on,” he says, his tone light, almost teasing. “You’re really not even going to say hi?”
You turn to him, your eyes flashing.
“Why would I?”
He shrugs, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Because you missed me.”
You laugh, but there’s no humor in it.
“Missed you?”
You set your drink down, leaning closer.
“You left me voicemails threatening to fucking kill yourself. Do you know how fucked up that is?”
His expression doesn’t change.
He doesn’t flinch.
Instead, he tilts his head, studying you.
“Did it scare you?”
Your blood runs cold.
“What?”
“Did it scare you?” he repeats, his voice soft.
“Did you think I was going to do it?”
You stare at him, horrified.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
His lips twitch into something that might be a smile — but there’s no warmth in it.
“I just wanted to talk to you,” he says, his tone almost casual.
“And you wouldn’t answer. You wouldn’t talk to me.”
“So you thought threatening to kill yourself was the way to get my attention?”
Your voice is shaking now, anger and fear mixing in your chest.
He doesn’t answer.
Instead, he reaches for your hand.
And you’re too stunned to pull away.
“I missed you,” he says softly.
“I don’t know what to do without you.”
You rip your hand away, standing up so fast your chair scrapes against the floor.
“Don’t fucking do that.”
Your voice is loud now, cutting through the music.
“Don’t pretend you’re some fucking victim.”
His expression hardens.
“I’m not pretending.”
“You are.”
You step closer, your chest heaving.
“You always do this. You always make it about you. Like your fucking pain is the only thing that matters.”
He stands up slowly, towering over you.
“I’m in pain because of you.”
You scoff, shaking your head.
“That’s bullshit.”
“Don’t lie to yourself.”
His voice is low now. Dangerous.
“You love me.”
Your hands tremble at your sides.
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
He steps closer.
“I know you do. You wouldn’t be this angry if you didn’t.”
You hate how he gets in your head.
How he twists your words.
“I don’t love you,” you say again, but it sounds weaker this time.
He leans in, his breath brushing against your cheek.
“Then why haven’t you moved on?”
The question hits you like a punch to the gut.
And you don’t have an answer.
“Let’s go outside,” he says.
His voice is softer now, coaxing.
“It’s too loud in here.”
You hesitate.
“Please.”
He reaches for your hand again, and this time, you don’t pull away.
“Just talk to me.”
Your heart is pounding.
Your mind is spinning.
And against your better judgment —
You follow him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The alleyway outside the club smells like cigarette smoke and spilled beer.
You cross your arms over your chest, shivering slightly. The night air feels too cold against your skin, cutting through the warmth of the alcohol.
Su-bong lights a cigarette, his hands shaking slightly as he brings it to his lips.
For a moment, neither of you speak.
Then —
“What do you want from me?”
Your voice cuts through the quiet, sharp and strained.
He exhales a cloud of smoke, his gaze steady on you.
“I just want you.”
You laugh, bitter and harsh.
“Do you even hear yourself? You had me, Su-bong. You had me for two fucking years, and you—”
Your voice cracks.
“You fucking broke me.”
His jaw tightens.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
Your chest heaves, your breath fogging in the cold air.
“Over and over again.”
“I know.”
He takes a step closer.
“And I’m sorry.”
It’s the softness in his voice that undoes you.
That fucking softness.
Because for a split second —
You almost believe him.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
His words hang in the air between you, soft and deliberate, like he’s trying to carve them into your skin. And you hate how much they make your chest ache.
You hate that it’s him standing here, saying these things. Again.
“You say that like it fucking matters.” Your voice comes out steadier than you feel. “Like it changes anything.”
He exhales smoke, eyes never leaving yours. “It does matter.”
“No, it doesn’t.” You shake your head, your arms tightening around yourself like it’s the only thing holding you together. “You’ve hurt me too many times for it to matter.”
A pause.
A flicker of something in his eyes.
And then, softly —
“I couldn’t stop.”
The words hit you harder than you want them to.
Your chest tightens, your mind flashing back to the nights he stumbled through the door, high and out of it, mumbling half-assed apologies through the haze.
“I don’t know how to stop,” he continues, his voice quiet. “Not without you.”
You close your eyes, willing the tears to stay put.
“You can’t keep doing this,” you whisper. “You can’t keep blaming me for your fucking choices.”
“I’m not.”
“Then what the fuck is this?” You gesture between the two of you, your voice rising. “What do you think you’re doing right now?”
“I’m trying to fix it.”
Your laugh is sharp, bitter. “Fix it? You can’t fix this, Su-bong. You can’t.”
He flinches at the way your voice cracks.
But he doesn’t back down.
“I can try.”
You shake your head, the weight of it all pressing down on you. The months of pain, the sleepless nights, the voicemail that still echoes in your mind.
“You’re fucking selfish.”
His jaw clenches, but he doesn’t deny it.
“You don’t love me,” you say, and it feels like you’re ripping your own heart out. “You love what I do for you. You love having someone to pick up the pieces when you fall apart. Someone to save you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?” Your chest heaves. “You only ever show up when you’re desperate. When you need something. And I’m fucking done being that person for you.”
He takes a step closer, the cigarette forgotten between his fingers, burning down to the filter.
“I don’t want anyone else.”
You hate the way your heart twists.
“I want you.”
You shake your head again, but it’s weaker this time.
“I love you.”
And there it is.
Those three fucking words.
The words that used to make your heart explode. The words that used to make you believe in him, in a future that never existed.
“I can’t do this without you,” he says, and his voice breaks, just a little. “I’ve tried, Y/N. I’ve tried to be better, but I’m fucking lost without you.”
Your hands tremble at your sides.
“You’re only lost because you never tried to find yourself,” you whisper. “You’ve always expected me to do it for you.”
His eyes soften, that familiar vulnerability creeping in.
“I’m trying now.”
“No, you’re not.” You take a step back. “You’re trying to pull me back in. That’s all you ever do.”
A beat of silence.
Then —
“I miss you.”
The words cut through the night, soft and raw.
And you feel yourself wavering.
Fuck.
You press your palms to your face, trying to breathe, trying to steady yourself.
“You don’t get it,” you whisper. “You don’t get what you did to me.”
He takes another step closer, so close now that you can feel the heat of his body.
“I never stopped loving you.”
Your chest heaves, your heart pounding.
“I don’t want to hear that.”
“You need to.”
“No, I fucking don’t.” Your voice cracks, tears burning at the edges of your eyes. “What I need is to move on.”
His hand reaches out, tentative, trembling.
But when his fingers brush against your arm-
You flinch.
It’s instinctive.
A reaction you couldn’t stop if you tried.
And the look on his face?
It’s devastating.
He pulls his hand back slowly, like he’s been burned.
“I’m not him anymore.”
The words are quiet, almost desperate.
“I’m not the guy who fucked up. I’m not the guy who hurt you.”
“You are.” Your voice is soft, but firm. “You’ll always be that guy, Su-bong.”
His gaze drops to the ground, and for a moment, you think he’s going to give up.
But then he looks up again.
“I just want to talk,” he says. “Five minutes. That’s all I’m asking.”
You hesitate.
The rational part of you — the part that’s spent the last month piecing yourself back together — is screaming at you to walk away.
But your heart?
Your heart is still caught in the web he’s spun around you.
“ we’re already talking…” you slightly slur your words, the alcohol taking full effect.
“Five minutes,” he says again, softer this time. “At my place. Please.”
And against your better judgment —
You nod.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You wake to the sensation of weight.
Heavy. Suffocating.
An arm draped over your waist. A body pressed too close, warm breath against the back of your neck.
And for one blissful second, you’re still half asleep. Still caught in that hazy space between dreams and reality, your mind fogged over with sleep, soft and pliant.
But then your eyes open.
And everything sharpens.
The bedroom is dark — curtains drawn, faint slivers of morning light sneaking through the cracks. The air is stale, tinged with cigarette smoke and something faintly metallic. It smells familiar.
And the weight around your waist?
It’s Su-bong.
Your stomach lurches.
No. No, no, no.
You squeeze your eyes shut, your heart pounding in your chest, the dull ache between your temples throbbing harder with each beat. Your mind scrambles to piece together how the fuck you ended up here. The last thing you remember clearly is the club — Ji-hye pulling you onto the dance floor, shots of tequila burning your throat, the neon lights swirling around you.
And then —
His voice.
His hands.
And now you’re here. In his bed.
You hold your breath, every muscle in your body going rigid. His arm is still heavy across your waist, his hand curled loosely against your hip, fingers twitching like he’s dreaming.
Carefully — so carefully — you think maybe you can slip out from under him.
Carefully, you reach for his wrist, your fingers trembling as you try to lift his arm off you. The sheet rustles softly, the sound too loud in the suffocating silence. You freeze, your breath hitching.
He stirs.
A small, unconscious noise slips from his throat, his fingers curling slightly against your hip.
Your heart slams against your ribs.
Please don’t wake up.
You stay frozen, your body stiff, your breath shallow. His arm feels impossibly heavy against your waist, like it’s anchoring you to the mattress. Slowly — so slowly — you ease it off you, inch by inch, until it finally falls to the bed.
He murmurs something in his sleep, low and unintelligible.
You freeze again, your pulse roaring in your ears.
He doesn’t wake.
You let out a shaky breath, the sound barely audible, and sit up as quietly as you can. The room tilts slightly as you do, your head pounding with a dull, persistent ache. You press a hand to your temple, blinking against the dizziness.
The sheets are tangled around your legs, the fabric twisted and damp with sweat. You untangle yourself carefully, your fingers trembling, your movements slow and deliberate.
His body shifts slightly behind you, his breathing deepening for a moment before settling back into a steady rhythm.
Move.
You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, the floor cold against your bare feet. The hem of your dress rides up as you stand, the fabric wrinkled and twisted, clinging to your skin.
You glance back at him, your chest tight.
He’s still asleep.
But his face is turned toward you now, his hair falling into his eyes, his lips parted slightly. He looks softer like this, his usual sharp edges dulled by sleep.
It makes your stomach turn.
Focus.
You force your gaze away, scanning the room for your things.
Your phone.
Your purse.
Where the fuck are they?
The panic sets in slowly, creeping up your spine like cold water, inch by inch. You scan the room, searching for your things, but the room looks almost exactly the same as when you left a month ago.
Cluttered. Messy. The ashtray on the nightstand is overflowing. Empty bottles litter the floor. The same crumpled blankets. The same cigarette burns in the carpet.
Like time stood still.
Like he hasn’t moved on.
Your stomach twists painfully, nausea creeping in at the edges. You stand, your legs unsteady, your head pounding. The ache in your body — between your thighs, in the muscles of your legs — is impossible to ignore.
You take a step toward the bathroom, your hands trembling as you reach for the door handle. You need a moment to breathe. To think.
To figure out what the fuck happened.
The bathroom is as grim as you remember. The light flickers when you turn it on, casting everything in a sickly yellow glow. The mirror is streaked with water stains, the sink cluttered with half-used toiletries.
You close the door behind you, locking it with a shaky hand.
And then you catch your reflection.
Your lipstick is barely there anymore, smudged at the edges. Your mascara streaked under your eyes. Your hair is a tangled mess, the carefully straightened strands now knotted and frizzy.
But it’s the rest of you that makes your breath catch.
The dress you wore last night is twisted around your waist, the hem wrinkled and pulled too high. Your thighs are bare. You pull at the fabric, tugging it down, but your hands freeze when you see the faint bruises.
Finger-shaped bruises.
They’re light, barely there, but you know what they are.
Your stomach drops.
You lift the hem of your dress higher, revealing more bruises along your inner thighs. Some small, faint smudges of blue and purple. Some darker.
You press your fingers to them, your skin flinching under your own touch.
Did I fall?
Did I—
Your mind races, scrambling for an explanation, for anything that makes sense.
And then your eyes flicker lower.
Your underwear is backward.
You stare for a long moment, your brain struggling to catch up with what you’re seeing. The waistband digs awkwardly into your hips, the tag twisted around to the front.
You blink.
Once.
Twice.
Your stomach churns violently.
You lift the toilet lid, falling to your knees as you retch. There’s nothing in your stomach but bile, burning its way up your throat.
When you’re done, you sit back on your heels, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. The bathroom spins around you, your head pounding, your chest heaving with shallow breaths.
You reach for the sink, pulling yourself up slowly, your hands gripping the edge so tightly your knuckles turn white.
Your eyes flicker back to your reflection.
The bruises.
The backward underwear.
The ache between your legs.
Did we—
No.
No, no, no.
You grip the sink harder, your nails digging into the porcelain.
‘I don’t remember.’
That’s the worst part.
You don’t remember anything.
You remember seeing him at the club. You remember yelling at him, calling him out for the voicemail. You remember him pulling you outside, the alley reeking of cigarette smoke and beer.
And then it’s all a blur.
Flashes of his voice. His hand on your arm. The way he looked at you — dark, desperate.
But nothing else.
Your chest tightens painfully.
You want to leave.
You need to leave.
You unlock the bathroom door with shaking hands, your heart pounding in your chest as you step back into the bedroom.
But when you step inside —
He’s awake.
Su-bong is sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers tangled in his hair. He looks up when he hears you, his gaze locking on yours.
And the first thing you notice?
He’s sober.
There’s no haze in his eyes. No slurred speech. No unsteady hands.
He’s completely sober.
Your stomach twists painfully.
“Morning.”
His voice is soft, tentative.
Like he’s testing the waters.
You don’t say anything.
You take a step toward the nightstand, searching for your phone. Your purse. Anything.
But he stands up slowly, blocking your path.
“Hey.”
His voice is softer now, coaxing.
“You don’t have to run.”
Your hands tremble at your sides.
“I don’t remember anything,” you whisper, your voice cracking. “I don’t—”
“I know.” His eyes soften, his brows pulling together in that familiar expression of concern. “You were really drunk.”
Your heart sinks.
“What happened?”
He exhales slowly, running a hand through his hair. “You saw me at the club. You… you wanted to come back here.”
You shake your head, your stomach churning.
“I don’t remember that.”
You must’ve been really drunk because from what you remember you weren’t exactly happy too see him. How did you go from fighting with him to begging to be back at his apartment?
“You were drunk,” he says again, like it’s the answer to everything. “It’s okay. I took care of you.”
Your chest tightens painfully.
The bruises.
The backward underwear.
The ache.
“What do you mean, you took care of me?”
His gaze flickers away for a moment, his jaw tightening.
“You wanted to come back,” he says softly. “You told me you missed me. That you wanted to… you know. Talk. Figure things out.”
Your mind spins, scrambling to fill in the blanks.
“I don’t remember,” you whisper again, your voice shaking.
“I know.” He steps closer, his voice low, soothing. “It’s okay. I missed you too.”
He reaches for your hand, his fingers brushing yours.
You flinch.
But he doesn’t pull back.
“I missed you,” he says again, his voice softening. “I love you.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. They only hurt so bad because he was saying them now. After everything.
And for a moment —
You don’t know what to believe.
“You were wasted, Y/N.”
His words come soft, careful, like he’s tiptoeing around something fragile. His body language matches it — slouched shoulders, a furrowed brow, the faintest slump in his posture like he’s weighed down by concern.
Your stomach churns.
“I… I wasn’t that drunk.” The words feel hollow as they leave your mouth. A lie to yourself, as much as to him. You’d lost count at six shots. At least six. Maybe more.
His lips press into a thin line, a faint shake of his head following. “You could barely stand.”
Your hands curl into fists at your sides, knuckles trembling.
“I don’t remember…” You force the words out, hating how small they sound, how they let the power tip toward him.
He exhales slowly, running a hand down his face.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. You were crying. Saying you missed me. That you needed me.” He pauses, eyes meeting yours, steady and unwavering. “What was I supposed to do, huh? Just leave you there?”
The breath punches out of you. Crying? Saying you missed him? Needed him?
That couldn’t be true. That can’t be true.
But your mind betrays you. A flash of his hands steadying you on the dance floor. His voice coaxing you into the alley. The warmth of his hand brushing yours.
Pieces fall together, but the picture is fractured, missing the crucial moments. And that’s what he’s counting on.
“I don’t…” Your voice cracks, a fresh wave of panic rolling through you. “I wouldn’t—”
“You did,” he says firmly. Not loud, but firm enough that it cuts through your protest. “You were falling apart, Y/N. I couldn’t just—” He stops, dragging his hand through his hair like he’s trying to collect himself. “I had to help you.”
Help you.
The bruises on your thighs burn like a brand.
“By bringing me here?” you snap, your voice rising. “By—by—” You stop yourself before the question comes tumbling out: Did you touch me?
His face hardens just slightly, enough to send a shiver skittering down your spine. “I wasn’t going to let you go home alone. Not like that. You don’t even know what could’ve happened.”
“What do you mean what could’ve happened?” Your voice cracks, pitching higher, panic seeping in. “What did happen?”
He holds your gaze, and for a moment, his expression softens again. “Nothing happened.”
The words should feel like a relief. They don’t.
“Nothing?” Your voice is small, but there’s a sharp edge to it.
“Nothing,” he repeats, stepping closer. Too close. “You needed me, Y/N. And I was there for you. Like I always have been.”
Always.
Your mind spirals, reaching for anything concrete, any moment from last night that you can grab onto. But it’s all a haze, smothered by the tequila and the smoke and him.
“I don’t…” You press a hand to your temple, the ache blooming there sharp and relentless. “I don’t remember asking to come back here.”
His hand reaches out, brushing against your arm, and you flinch without meaning to.
His eyes darken at that. “You’re scared of me now?”
You want to say yes. But the word lodges itself in your throat, too big to swallow, too dangerous to spit out.
“I’m not scared of you,” you lie.
“Then why are you acting like this?” His voice is soft, low, almost tender. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N. I just—” He stops, his jaw clenching. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And now you’re looking at me like I’m a fucking monster.”
He steps closer. You step back. The space between you feels like it’s shrinking, suffocating.
“Why am I here, Su-bong?” Your voice is stronger now, the edge of panic sharpening it. “Why the fuck was I in your bed?”
He tilts his head slightly, his brows knitting together like you’ve just said something unreasonable. “You wanted to be here.”
“No.” You shake your head, your chest tightening. “I didn’t. I wouldn’t—” Your voice cracks, the words tangling in your throat. “I don’t even remember coming back with you.”
His expression doesn’t shift. “You were drunk,” he says simply. “You don’t have to make this a big deal.”
You laugh — bitter, sharp. “Not a big deal?” The words tumble out before you can stop them. “Not a big fucking deal? I don’t even know what happened, Su-bong. I don’t—” Your breath hitches, your stomach twisting violently. The next words catch in your throat, almost too heavy to force out. “Did we—”
You can’t say it. You can barely think it.
“Did we have sex?”
He doesn’t react right away. Not outwardly. But you catch it — the faint flicker of tension in his jaw, the way his gaze shifts to the side before finding yours again.
“Why would you ask me that?” His voice is steady, but there’s something too measured about it, like he’s rehearsed this answer in his head a thousand times.
“Because I don’t fucking know,” you snap, your hands trembling. They curl into fists at your sides, shaking with every ragged breath. “My underwear’s on backwards, Su-bong. I have bruises. And you’re acting—” You stop yourself, your throat tightening painfully. “You’re acting like you did something.”
His jaw tightens again, and this time his tongue darts out, wetting his lips. He exhales slowly, dragging his hand through his hair.
“I didn’t do anything you didn’t want,” he says finally, his tone low but clipped.
It’s not an answer.
It’s not a fucking answer.
“What does that mean?” Your voice rises, panic flaring again. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means you wanted to come back with me,” he says, sharper now, a flash of frustration cutting through the veneer of calm. “You were all over me at the club, Y/N. I told you we shouldn’t—” He cuts himself off abruptly, his fingers raking through his hair again, the strands spiking in every direction. “But you wouldn’t let it go.”
Your stomach twists painfully, the nausea creeping back in full force.
“I wouldn’t let it go?” Your voice cracks, disbelief bleeding into every syllable. “You’re blaming me? You’re saying I—”
“I’m not blaming you.” He exhales sharply, his voice softening just slightly, like he’s trying to rein himself back in. “I’m saying you wanted this. You made that clear.”
“I don’t even remember!” Your voice breaks now, raw and jagged, splintering through the room. “How can I want something I can’t fucking remember?”
He steps closer, and this time you’re too stunned, too frozen, to move.
“Y/N.” His voice drops lower, almost pleading, his hand twitching at his side like he wants to reach for you. “You were drunk, yeah. But you weren’t—” He hesitates, his gaze flickering over your face. “You weren’t out of it. You knew what you were doing.”
The words settle over you like a lead weight, pressing down on your chest until it feels impossible to breathe. Your mind scrambles to piece together the night before, to fill in the blanks, but it’s all fog. Hazy flashes of neon lights and pounding music and his hand on your arm.
“I don’t—” Your voice falters, cracking under the weight in your chest. “I don’t know what to believe.”
His expression softens slightly, his shoulders lowering as he steps closer again, closing the gap between you.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” he says, his voice coaxing, soothing. He reaches for your hand, brushing his fingers against yours.
You flinch.
The motion is small, instinctive. But he catches it, his gaze darkening for a fraction of a second before he carefully, deliberately pulls his hand back.
“I don’t know what else to say to you,” he murmurs, his tone taking on a faint edge of frustration again. “I tried to do the right thing, Y/N. I could’ve left you at the club. I could’ve let you go home alone. But I didn’t.”
He looks at you, his eyes steady and unwavering, and you hate how much they make your stomach twist.
“I stayed.” He takes another step forward, close enough now that you can smell the faint trace of his cologne, mingling with the smoke and stale alcohol lingering in the room. “Because you needed me.”
You press your back against the wall, your hands gripping the hem of your dress so tightly it crumples in your fists.
“I don’t remember needing you,” you say, your voice small but sharp, each word cutting through the thick tension in the room.
His gaze drops to the floor for a moment, his lips pressing into a thin line. When he looks up again, there’s something different in his eyes. Something dark.
“Then maybe you should ask yourself why you’re here.”
The question hits like a punch to the gut, stealing the breath from your lungs.
You don’t answer. You can’t.
And in the silence that follows, he steps back, his expression shifting to something softer, more familiar.
“I missed you,” he says, his voice low, almost tender. “And I know you missed me too.”
“Just… stay.”
The word hangs in the air between you, heavy and suffocating.
Stay.
You want to run. You want to grab your things and get out of this apartment, out of this nightmare, and never look back. But your legs won’t move. Your feet feel glued to the floor, weighed down by doubt and fear and something else—something softer, something that aches when he looks at you like this.
“I don’t know if I can trust you,” you whisper.
His jaw tightens, his hands curling into fists at his sides. But when he speaks, his voice is soft. Vulnerable.
“I know.” His gaze drops to the floor for a moment, then back to you. “I don’t blame you for feeling that way. But I’m not the guy I was before, Y/N. I’m trying. I’m trying to be better.”
You hate how much those words hurt. How much you want to believe them.
“You shouldn’t have brought me here,” you say, your voice trembling. “I didn’t ask for this.”
“You did,” he says firmly. “Maybe you don’t remember, but you did.”
The words cut through you like a blade, sharp and cold. You don’t believe him. You don’t want to believe him.
But the tequila haze clouds everything, blurring the edges of the truth.
“Just give me a chance,” he says, stepping closer again. “Let me prove it to you. Let me—” He stops himself, his voice catching. “Let me fix this.”
Your throat tightens, the weight of his words pressing down on you, crushing.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” you whisper.
He reaches for your hand again, and this time, you don’t pull away. His fingers are warm, steady, wrapping around yours like they belong there. Like they always have.
“You don’t have to decide right now,” he says again. His voice is so soft, so careful. “Just stay. Please.”
Your chest heaves, your breath shallow and uneven.
And then—
Your phone buzzes.
The sound cuts through the tension like a knife, sharp and jarring. You jerk your hand away from his, your heart leaping into your throat as you spin toward the nightstand.
Your phone is lying there, screen glowing faintly in the dim light. Ji-hye’s name flashes across the screen.
Your stomach twists violently.
Su-bong doesn’t move. He stands frozen in place, his gaze fixed on you. You don’t look at him. You don’t want to see whatever’s written on his face.
You grab the phone, your fingers trembling as you swipe to open the message.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗(9:04 AM): You good? Please tell me you didn’t go home with him.
Your breath catches, your chest tightening painfully.
“Who is it?” Su-bong’s voice cuts through the silence, low and steady, but there’s an edge to it now.
You don’t answer. You can’t.
Instead, you take a shaky step back, clutching the phone like it’s the only thing tethering you to reality.
“Y/N.” His voice is softer now, coaxing, but there’s a sharpness beneath it, something dark and unyielding. “Who was it?”
“Ji-hye.” The name barely makes it out of your mouth, your voice cracking on the second syllable.
He hums, low and quiet. “What did she say?”
You glance down at the screen again, the words burning into your retinas. You good? Please tell me you didn’t go home with him.
You don’t know what to say.
What can you say?
“Y/N,” he says again, stepping closer. His voice drops lower, quieter, like he’s trying to keep you from bolting. “Talk to me.”
Your chest heaves, your breath coming faster now. “I need to go.”
The words feel weak, hollow, and you hate how they tremble as they leave your lips.
“Go where?” His question is quiet, but there’s a weight to it that makes your stomach turn.
“Away from here.”
The second the words are out, his expression shifts. The softness in his gaze hardens, his lips pressing into a thin line.
“If you walk out that door…” He trails off, his voice cutting off like he’s biting down on the rest of the sentence.
Your heart races, panic rising in your chest. “What?”
His jaw clenches, the muscles in his neck tightening. “If you walk out that door, you’ll never see me again.”
The words hit like a punch to the gut, knocking the air from your lungs.
There’s a finality to them, an edge that cuts too deep. You don’t know what he means — if he’s talking about leaving your life or leaving altogether — but it doesn’t matter.
It scares you.
And he knows it.
His gaze stays locked on yours, unflinching, unwavering. “I’m serious, Y/N.”
Your phone buzzes again in your hand, the sound startling you. You glance down at the screen.
Ji-hye ★ˎˊ˗(9:06 AM): If you’re with him, just leave. I’ll come get you.
You swallow hard, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you.
Su-bong takes another step closer. “You don’t have to leave.” His voice drops lower, almost a whisper. “We can talk. We can figure this out. But if you walk away now…”
He doesn’t finish the sentence, but he doesn’t have to. The threat lingers in the air between you, heavy and suffocating.
Your fingers tighten around your phone, Ji-hye’s message flashing like a lifeline in your palm.
“Y/N.” His voice is softer now, pleading. “Stay.”
You look up at him, your chest heaving, your mind spinning.
And in that moment, you don’t know what scares you more; the thought of staying, or the thought of leaving.
#choi su bong x reader#dark!choi su bong x reader#dark!player 230 x reader#dark!squid game x reader#dark!thanos x reader#player 230 x reader#squid game smut#su bong x reader#thanos smut#thanos x reader#yandere choi su bong#yandere squid game x reader#yandere player 230#yandere squid game#yandere thanos#yandere#squid game#tw dark fic#tw dark themes#dead dove do not eat#dead dove fic#squid game x reader#smut#angst
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BYE BYE, MISS AMERICAN PIE — THANOS
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You had just made the worst mistake of your life. After the last game, the six legged race—Thanos had been able to convince you to stay just one more game, but now? You were regretting it more that ever. The game was called ‘mingle’, and the rules were simple: Get in a room with the correct amount of players, or die.
As an American, you didn’t know any of the games well. Sure, you could easily play Ddakji or Gonggi, but this was your first time playing this game, and you were scared to death—especially since you had seen what had happened to the people who had failed to get into a room in time from the previous rounds.
Yet, Thanos had protected you. But, when he was dancing around carelessly with Nam-gyu, you weren’t sure how to feel. He grinned mischievously, bumping shoulders with Nam-gyu as they laughed together. He was careless, throwing his head back with laughter. He was high off God knows what, his eyes dilated and slightly red.
Suddenly the platform comes to a halt, knocking about a dozen people off their feet, as the robotic voice from the speaker yells the number ‘six.’ Thanos grabs you and Nam-gyu’s hands as Se-mi and Min-su follow closely behind. You can see the room Thanos is running to, and it’s almost completely empty—only one player standing inside. Perfect for your group.
The colorful blood door keeps getting closer and closer as you run as fast as you can, until you are knocked to the floor by a tall, muscular man labeled player ‘089’. Yet, none of the players in your group even seem to notice as you quickly get up. By the time you reach the door, it’s too late. They have the six needed players.
“Su-bong.” You cry from the other side of the door. Thanos pounds his fist against the blood-red door, his face a mask of fury and fear as he comes down from his high, yelling your name as the Se-mi cups her face in her hands and Min-su cries. Thanos tries to pull the door open but it’s no use.
Gunshots ring out behind you as the players who didn’t make it into a room in time are gunned down. He can hear their screams, their pleas for mercy, but he’s too focused on you. His heart races as he pushes and pulls on the door, trying anything to get it open. Your sniffles from the other side of the door are almost unheard as tears stream down everyone’s faces.
Su-bong’s hands tremble as he continues pounding the door with increasing urgency. The others in the room start panic-stricken, realizing what's happening. "DON'T.” He cries. “FUCK." He nearly whimpers. “Su-bong.” You cry once more, before a loud gunshot rings out and everything goes black.
From the other side of the door, part of Thanos’ face is sprayed with your blood as the life drains from your eyes and your body goes limp. You fall to the floor with a loud thud as Thanos sobs. Nam-gyu steps forward and pulls him away from the door with surprising ease.
For a moment, Thanos stares blankly at the splattered blood on his face, his brain refusing to process what he just witnessed. Then, a choked sob escapes him as reality sets in. He stumbles backward, collapsing against the wall and burying his face in his hands. "No…" It was too late.
The cute little American he had taken a liking to was gone, and they weren’t coming back. Nam-gyu looks down at him in pity, as the others in the room cry. Player 089 sits in the far left corner, now afraid for his life. No matter what came next, Thanos was going to make him pay.
A/N: I was literally listening to American Pie by Don McLean while writing this. It’s such a good song, even though it was released three and a half decades before I was even born lol.
#squid games headcanons#squid games fanfiction#squid games x reader#squid games drabble#squid games x you#thanos x y/n#thanos x reader#thanos x you#squid game thanos#player 230 x reader#choi su bong fanfic#choi su bong x reader#choi su bong x you#t.o.p x reader#choi seunghyun x reader#nam gyu x you#namgyu x y/n#namgyu x reader#se mi x reader#min su x reader#Spotify
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Streamily.com Presents: The Steven Universe Cast Reunion Q&A Part 1
Here's a complete overview of the Q&A that was put on by Streamily, hosted by Elijah ("Not-So-Average Fangirl"), featuring Rebecca Sugar as the showrunner/creator, Deedee Magno Hall as Pearl, Lo (formerly known as Charlyne Yi) as Ruby, Estelle as Garnet, Susan Egan as Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond, Tom Scharpling as Greg Universe, Michaela Dietz as Amethyst/Famesthyst, and Larissa Gallagher as Bluebird Azurite. Read below to find out about a secret scrapped episode, Rebecca's comment on how to look at Rose Quartz, and lots of hilarious commentary from the cast about the experience of voicing characters on Steven Universe.
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When the stream opened, everyone did their introductions:
Rebecca said they created the show.
Deedee said she played Pear. LOL, then said Pearl.
Lo said they played Ruby.
Susan said I play Rose . . . (with a cringe) and Pink.
Tom said "I was Greg, and I still am Greg, I guess."
Michaela: "Famethyst for life baby!"
Larissa played Bluebird, and a little bit like the character, she pops up when you don't expect it!
Estelle was not on the call at the very beginning but joined shortly after the questions began.
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Here are the questions and the participants' answers!
Q: There were so many messages in SU. Which one do you hope viewers keep with them the most?
A (Rebecca): Rebecca learned to trust themself in being the authority about who they are. They were a bit rocky on this issue when the show began in their twenties, and learned they needed to be true to the art they made. That was reflected in the characters too. They hope people watching will learn to trust in themselves too, in the face of other people trying to tell you who you are.
Q: For Deedee Magno Hall: Pearl grew and changed in the show. How did it feel playing her in the first few episodes vs. the last few?
A (Deedee): There was no way for Deedee to know Pearl's journey when she started voicing her. She relied on Rebecca and the Crew to learn how to voice Pearl. The group had been talking about the pilot before they jumped onto the call, and Deedee says if she had listened side by side to what Pearl sounded like in the Pilot and what she ended up sounding like at the end, Pearl (along with character growth), vocally got exaggerated--it was Deedee's voice but really "went there"! Pearl felt so many feels. Deedee hopes she executed it well direction-wise. What a blast to play Pearl! And to see the growth in her character! It was fun and a challenge, and Deedee was grateful!
Q: For Michaela Dietz: Amethyst is silly and chaotic usually--what did Michaela pull from for the more emotional and serious moments?
A (Michaela): Many of the more emotional moments are about figuring out origins (the Kindergarten, etc.). Michaela is a transracial / transnational adoptee, so she pulled from that and was looking for her birth family while they were recording the Kindergarten episode. That was an easy well to tap. The growth that Amethyst had over the course of the series and movie and Future, Michaela feels like it parallels her relationship with the other actors and their characters. She's grateful to have made so many friends and is so happy to have learned so much from Rebecca (she joked about calling Rebecca "Reba").
Q: Question for all: If you could hang out with your character for one day, what would you do?
A (Rebecca): Steven is based on their brother, so they would love to spend time with Steven. It was challenging through Covid to not spend time with Steven. They always make time for Steven. They love spending time with people who played the characters! They never got to have a wrap party because of Covid! They were together for 8 years and they still want to have a belated wrap party. They would also love to spend time with Ruby (the self-insert character) and they love spending time with Lo too. Then they said "I need to be stopped because I'll go through every person."
Announcement: Estelle just joined!
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Belatedly, the mod asks Estelle's question: Garnet is such an iconic character. Did Estelle know she was a Fusion from the beginning?
A (Estelle): No. She was the big grown Gem who took care of the others. She found out in real time with the cast when she did the recording. She was surprised by the lines in real time and had to calm herself down to record each line. She felt it was an honor.
Back to the "all: question of what each would do if they could hang out with their character.
A (Deedee), misunderstanding the question: If she could hang out with characters, would do tae bo with Garnet, get french fries with Steven, and have a karaoke and dance party with Amethyst.
A (Lo): When they were in kindergarten they would spit all over a tree and try to cover it with their spit. If they hung out with Ruby, they would ask for Ruby's help spitting on trees. There would be lots of hugging, punching pillows, etc. The moderator Elijah thinks fan artists will have fun with that.
A (Estelle): If she hung out with Garnet, she would ask Garnet to give her all the future information. She would want to borrow her "future vision goggles" too and want to know the future.
A (Tom): He would just drive around with Greg and listen to records. Go eat more. And end up going bowling.
A (Michaela): She would eat trash with Amethyst (and also some quality food?). They would mess around the San Gabriel Valley, get meal after meal, maybe buy an illegal turtle? No, that's not funny. They might hit up Ruby and spit on trees. Take in some underground wrestling. Amethyst is very intensely chill, and Michaela thinks they could do a great many things together.
A (Larissa): Going from intensely chill to intensely chaotic. She wants to bring it down from chaos and go ride Lion on the beach, with Bluebird carrying swords.
A (Susan): She wants to go into Rose's room to unpack. Pearl would need to be with her to Marie Kondo the situation. Then she would throw on a Universe shirt and hit music festivals.
Deedee realizes she misunderstood the question and wants to add: if she hung out with Pearl they would do laundry and some spring, summer, winter, and fall cleaning. Definitely Marie Kondo-ing the whole universe together.
Q for Susan Egan: Rose turned out to be a very complex character. As the story progressed and more about her was revealed, did Susan's approach to voicing her change?
A (Susan): She can't sing the praises of Rebecca enough: Susan didn't know at all what Rose's deal was. She got some hate comments when it was revealed that she was Pink, and she LOVED that because it meant the fans were invested. She was as shocked as everyone else. Pink was aging in reverse; Rose was wise and flawed, and then Susan would be voicing Pink and had to be petulant and immature, and she's thankful for Rebecca's direction in getting that right.
Q for Lo: Ruby is adorable. We got to meet so many versions of her. Other than Garnet's Ruby, which Ruby was Lo's favorite to play, and why?
A (Lo): They loved playing Navy. They got to be hammy. They ask if you know how when you order stuff at the drive-thru and you become that? They don't know why. It felt good. While voicing Ruby, they got to get in touch with how angry they were. Being seen as an Asian woman, it was nice to have a spot to channel that anger, and being Navy is like making fun of who you have to become when you're a people-pleaser. "I LOVE DIRT!"
Q for Tom Scharpling: Greg is an eccentric but loving father. What was Tom's favorite part of playing him and does he have a favorite scene?
A (Tom): Doing Greg was so fun. It's not Tom but it's more him than he thought all along. He had never done voice stuff before this, so he went in completely new. A script would say "walla walla" but he thought he was supposed to say "walla walla." Everybody laughed at him. He knew literally nothing about proper voice acting. So he got to really try and work at it. It was so satisfying to get to better at it. Anything from "Mr. Greg" was the big one in terms of a memorable episode. It was the best time.
Q for Larissa Gallagher: Bluebird Azurite is quite a menace. Did she listen to the individual Ruby and Aquamarine voice acting for inspiration?
A (Larissa): Yes. The script said Bluebird was Cockney, so she already knew what to aim for, but it turned out that taking those inspirations from the two characters she's made of would have led to this kind of voice naturally.
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Q for All: Where do you each of the participants think their character is now and what are they doing?
A (Rebecca): To the cast, they know what the characters are up to post-show, but they can't say, it's too canonical.
A (Deedee): Says she doesn't know what canonical means. Pearl is probably doing more laundry and working on an album.
A (Lo): They guess they're just . . . fused. (Perhaps separating for scouting?) They might play Ruby Rider but not alone anymore. Interdependence, learning how to ground; Lo is not really sure how to answer since they feel like Ruby would spend most of her time as Garnet.
A (Estelle): She doesn't know. She figures Garnet sees what was gonna happen and just said "mmm." Just chilling. Even when she's fighting she has to be chill with the fighting-related grunting. She got direction to "flatline" her acting. She found it pretty natural though.
A (Tom): Greg is probably right where everything started again. Maybe working at a GameStop. Maybe he owns a bowling alley now. When asked what Greg would name it, he replies "Strikes and Spares."
A (Michaela): Amethyst would randomly get rich with Bitcoin and is retired. Maybe she would play Taiwanese Mahjong. Living a great retired life.
A (Larissa): Bluebird would be plotting and scheming and planning. Probably on a big planning board.
A (Susan): If Rose and/or Pink exists on any level, the only appropriate thing for her to be up to is community service. Like cleaning up trash at the bowling alley? Susan thinks it's time to start having a positive impact.
Q for Rebecca Sugar: Were there any scenes that ended up on the cutting room floor that you wish you could have included?
A (Rebecca): There was a bunker episode that they spent weeks on trying to crack; they wish they'd finished it. Ronaldo had a doomsday bunker. Sadie and Lars were trapped in it (with Steven). There's no way to leave. They were working on it so long and just couldn't make it work but they were determined to (maybe a little bit of the sunk cost fallacy!).
But usually the things that got left on the floor ended up evolving and changing into something different, even if they were really attached to the original idea. The idea for "Barn Mates" was originally that Sadie and Lapis would be the roommates with Sadie going to college. They feel that the Sadie story they ended up actually using was great. They love what they ended up doing with Lapis too.
In the very earliest version of "Giant Woman," Steven was going to unfuse into the two parts of him. And his "perfect" form, the big glowing muscular adult-looking Steven, was a Season 1 idea, and they didn't use him until Future. (After all, our roly-poly Steven is perfect!)
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Now there are some fan-submitted questions. Their usernames are included.
Q for Deedee Magno Hall, from Makittuu: In what ways is Pearl special to you?
A (Deedee): She feels like a broken record, but she says again she was grateful to be voicing someone with the same natural voice as she had, and she had always wanted to be able to sing in a cartoon. She loves that she got to sing in the show. Pearl was the first major voice acting role that she had ever done and there's no way she would have known what the show was going to become and how successful it would be. She was auditioning for everything and was new to voice acting at the time. But one thing that she loved about voicing Pearl is that she got to share the experience with her kids. She connected the love Pearl had for Steven with the love she had for her sons. When she started voicing Pearl her kids were 2 and 8. For them to be able to watch Steven Universe on TV and hear Mommy's voice was so cool to share with her family. Now her kids are 13 and 19!
Q for Estelle, from Gonosoi: Do you have any fun stories from recording your lines on the show?
A (Estelle): When she was going through things in her life--and she thinks this is true no matter where you are or how you identify--the show somehow could speak to whatever she was going through. The lines would often be relevant. She'd come in with sunglasses on because it was early for her and her voice would be low. She'd be crying behind her glasses in difficult moments. She liked a fresh first take instead of knowing ahead of time what she'd be reading, so she didn't read the script ahead of time. She was surprised by needing to do the "ugh" and "ah" noises in different ways. It'd be difficult vocally. With Michaela, Zach, and Deedee, in between the lines and reading things together, hearing them switch back and forth between talking about life and then doing their recordings, it was so cool to see them do their work.
Q for Michaela Dietz, from Mal: Which one of your other characters would get along well with Amethyst?
A (Michaela): Definitely Vee from The Owl House. Maybe Maj'el from Star Trek Prodigy. She would be so "What is this purple being? Why do you eat? Where does the food go?" She'd be fascinated with Amethyst. And Michaela feels like Amethyst would thrive and try to do weird stuff in response. The shapeshifting she has in common with Vee. They'd get up to some trouble. Fun trouble. Harmless trouble. (Another fanart cue!)
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Q for Susan Egan, from Gladde: Does Susan feel that Rose forgot about Spinel? Does she think she wanted to go back?
A (Susan): Susan thinks a lot was forgotten in her mind when she became Rose. Rose was so enamored of what's in front of her in every moment; she lives in the moment and can be a good quality but obviously Susan didn't know all of that when she was recording! Steven Universe is her kids' favorite thing she's done. Rebecca?
A (Rebecca): So much of the show is about how--something that was ultimately captured in the end credits song-- when you don't think of yourself as someone with power, Pink had less power than everyone around her, and she didn't know how much she mattered to others. She did things to them that she didn't think twice about because her importance to others didn't register. Feeling that she didn't matter, it radiated out. To her--her relationship with Spinel, Spinel was a toy to her. When she got a chance to grow up, she thought it made sense to leave Spinel behind. Pink is actually a softened version of what she was originally planned to be like. The sympathetic side of that and her self deprecation grew as they developed Pink over time. In aspiring to be a better person than she thought she was, that became who she was.
A (Susan): Rebecca brought all these characters' complexity to the table. It's easy to make things two-dimensional but people are complicated and we need to look at that in context. Good and bad can exist in the same person. She doesn't want Rose to always want to think about being Pink, but she thinks it helped her want to save more characters as Rose.
A (Rebecca): Rebecca likes to think of the Pink Diamond / Rose character as a cautionary tale.
Q for Lo, from stiffcorpse00: What kind of dates would Ruby and Sapphire go on?
A (Lo): Axe-throwing. They reference walking through doors and accidentally crashing into the frame, and they say "That's me." So they wouldn't do axe-throwing personally. Maybe Ruby and Sapphire would get some boba. Go walking. Teach Ruby how to float in water back because anger makes Ruby sink. Helping Ruby get anger out by screaming into pillows. Swinging one way and the other way.
Michaela suggests they could go to a rage room.
Lo objects that they're so expensive, and that they could just break stuff without needing to pay for it.
Susan suggests it'd be a writeoff because it's for work.
Lo says they'll go there and take a date.
Michaela says the experience is exhausting and therefore you don't need much time there.
Lo says a Ruby and Sapphire date involving paintball would be great, but everyone would run from Sapphire. Ruby's rage would get in the way. Sapphire would coldly get everyone.
There is more discussion of smashing fax machines and glass etc. in a rage room. Deedee asks "What is a fax machine?"
Q for Tom Scharpling, from GalixyYouniverse: What was his reaction to Greg getting his hair cut and was he upset?
A (Tom): He was fine with it. He was always coming from a different place than everyone else. His change would be getting rich or getting a haircut. Everyone else's was huge and cosmic. Anything with Greg, he related to Greg more than he should admit to.
Rebecca points out they have like drawings from 2013 with Greg with short hair. Sacrificing hair in a battle is something they always wanted to do.
Q for Larissa Gallagher from 1F4cnt4ND: How does she think Aquamarine and Ruby met and what was it like when they fused?
A (Larissa): She says it was a little bit mean to put her after Tom answering about the hair cut! But she doesn't know. If she had to say anything, it'd be existential. When you meet someone and you get that ball of energy inside you and you don't know whether it's good or bad--you don't know what's going to happen but something will happen. She likes to think that's the kind of energy that evolved. It didn't go in the most helpful emotional way but it was that moment attraction that no one can explain. Rebecca?
A (Rebecca): They had discussed in the writers room what Steven's influence is on Homeworld, how there'd be all these Gems on the wrong side of history, whether they were high status like Aquamarine or low like Eyeball, they'd pool into an out-group and meet to be frustrated about it. They'd been working on something that made sense before Steven changed the rules. Different types of fusions / collaborations and one born out of frustration and spite was one they wanted on the show.
Q for all participants, from trynottohappen: What was the hardest scene to record?
A (Susan): The first thing she did as Rose was the VHS tape. The monologue was her first time playing a mother, and it spoke to her heart. Like Michaela looking for her biological parents, there's something the character can teach you. Susan had to pull herself together after reading it--she needed to be joyful about her progeny coming. It makes her weep even today. It was one of her favorite things. She loved recorded with Deedee, and loved the love between them, the betrayal of Rose to Pearl, when we finally get to know what was really going on between them.
A (Larissa): The scene where Bluebird revealed her backstory of why they felt the way they felt. The complexity of the characters in the show, the hate isn't just "I hate because someone did this and said that." It's grounded, a real space of hurt that can never be fixed. Having to recreate that and not hate the character but love the character because of how much pain they were in. That was difficult but incredible.
A (Michaela): The hardest scenes were toward the end because she knew the show was ending. They were cherishing every moment together. In 2016, the day after the election, that was a hard day. Everybody was really distraught. There was a group hug at the end. In a time of such uncertainty, it gave her so much solace to know they had each other and they had art, they had ways of expressing themselves, that day sticks out.
A (Tom): For him, the songs were difficult. He would get sent a demo Rebecca recorded the night before, he's driving into NYC from New Jersey and listening to the song for hours all morning so he'd have it in his head, and then would be so nervous doing the songs because he didn't want the whole recording to be just him going word by word, line by line. The songs were the big thing he was hung up on. He'd try to do the songs first, then the spoken lines, and then the things where he yelled--he'd end up screaming sometimes and he'd not have a voice left. He wanted to do right by these very special songs. He jokes that Rebecca said he let them down over and over. (Rebecca denies.)
A (Estelle): She doesn't remember many hard moments. She'd attribute that to Rebecca's direction. She took a laid-back approach. The grunts and noises weren't familiar but also weren't difficult for her. She'd drink tea after. Real life would be happening but they always had each other in their bubble.
A (Lo): The Ruby Rider episode was the most fun and the hardest. They always wanted to play a cowboy! They were also going through a divorce during the recording. It was tough leading up to marrying Sapphire, delivering the lines, and they started crying because the opposite was happening in their life. And then they got direction to be more emotional even though they were crying. They said their voice was dead inside even though they were quite emotional. They're shy in the booth. Lo felt sweaty and weird doing the acting in front of other people, feeling awkward, and this is the first time they had to be a voice actor. This was THE WORST playing multiple characters during the baseball episode.
Michaela was so impressed with Lo having to be "like 800 characters."
Lo comments that doing 5 voices around other people as a neurodivergent person was so difficult.
A (Deedee): She loved receiving the demo recordings before having to sing a song. One of her favorite things was the singing. She wants the album of all Rebecca's demos. She remembers getting a script Monday to prepare and record on Wednesday. She heavily depended on the voice director and Rebecca. The really wordy scripts were difficult for Deedee with "ten-dollar words." The screaming was also really difficult. (She'd also do singing at the beginning, speaking in the middle, screaming at the end.)
A (Rebecca): Instead answering what scene was the hardest to write, they say there are so many. Because it was storyboard-driven, the script was in flux until it was animated, and they'd still be working with dialogue. With the potluck, when Lars doesn't show, Sadie has dialogue as she's walking down the street talking about Lars. They did a thousand drafts of it. With Sadie's story, there's a matryoshka of struggling with self-esteem while commenting on other people's self-esteem. There was a long path to get Steven to step into his mom's shoes. The biggest thing was tracking the ongoing storyline in a storyboard-driven show. Rose's speech was pored over as well. They wanted it to be layered and make more sense as you learn more about her. Does this line encapsulate everything you're going to learn about this character 60 episodes from now?
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Q from CaughtMoonlight: If each of them could play any other Gem, who would it be?
A (Susan): Everyone wants to be Garnet, but could never!
A (Larissa): Ditto. 100%. Also, not a Gem, but she wants to be Lion.
A (Michaela): Peridot. All the way.
A (Tom): He says he can't do that and he's just a slob doing the voice of a slob. These things are all out of his reach.
A (Estelle): She'd go with turbocharged Peridot. She says the things that are in Garnet's brain. She'd get spicy with it.
A (Lo): Lo would choose Greg. They say he's not a slob. The world should be more relaxed and accessible.
Tom says he doesn't mean slob in a bad way. But he owns his slobbiness.
A (Deedee): Hard question! She loved voicing Pearl and all the Pearls. Everybody else, it would be so hard to voice. No comment.
A (Rebecca): Early on they decided to take a back seat and not cast themself. They loved being in the director role. They put a lot of themself into SO many characters. That let them have a presence in everyone. One thing they're really grateful for, but their former boarder Adam Muto on Adventure Time, they got to voice Marceline's mother. The composers aivi and surasshu asked them to sing "Love Like You" because it's really a reflection of so many characters that they got to write.
Q for All: They are asked to share their projects and socials.
A (Rebecca): Working on things they can't talk about yet. Last year they released an independent album. Years ago Estelle said Rebecca should tour. Susan said kind things. Lo texts songs back and forth. They would not have been able to make that album without that encouraging. Tom had them on the radio show. So humbling. Spiral Bound is a little EP and they're so grateful. They'd love to do more stuff like that.
A (Deedee): She loves the album. She is doing some recurring voices for Kiff on the Disney channel, and singing praise and worship at church.
A (Lo): They're playing Larry in StuGo who's shirtless and gender fluid on Disney. They want everyone to know sunsets are awesome. Catch them while you can to chase away depression.
A (Estelle): She has a new album coming out early next year, with two singles out now. The music is uplifting. And there's the Estelle Show (on Apple radio!). She's just living her best life.
A (Tom): The Best Show/podcast is still on every week. He started writing a new book--he wrote one a few years ago and thinks the one he's writing now will be done in maybe 11 years, so check it out in 2038. Just working on TV stuff and dealing with whatever happens.
A (Michaela): Exciting stuff we can't talk about. It's tangerine season! Trees going off! Been harvesting.
A (Larissa): Just got back from Japan. Trying to get back there. Video games are coming out but she can't talk about it. She is working on a startup called Ethovox, trying to protect voice actors int he age of AI. Larissa got so much fandom just from doing Bluebird for two minutes! She's so grateful for that.
A (Susan): She produces live concert content for Disney worldwide. She loves being behind the scenes and creating jobs for others and bringing joy. They've been in 18 countries! She wrote shows for the Hollywood Bowl.
Part Two comes out November 18, 2024! You can get signed prints at Streamily!
#steven universe#rebecca sugar#deedee magno hall#estelle#michaela dietz#larissa gallagher#tom scharpling#susan egan#lo (formerly charlyne yi)#long post#myblog
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That's so true. I think Siffrin should break the game by bumping Motorics up to 9 actually. I think that'd be so gamerboss of him. Who needs brains and brawn and bleeding hearts when you got blazing boots instead
Siffrin plays Disco Elysium AU: Featuring backseat gamer Loop.
#loop thinks that they're being clever when they're hinting about the game because. well#you know them!!! they like to talk!!! they're so silly#but they also spoil things and siffrin's like 'i mean sure i'll check the phasmid traps but idk why you're so insistent about it. sus'#and loop's just like bursting at the seams about the endgame#they're so funny lmao imagine loop and siffrin playing on the couch and loop's little feetsies stick out of the blanket#like it does when they're sitting under the tree and when they're trying not to say anything they swing their feet#and smile with their eyes at siffrin and siffrin just. looks at them. ._.#lol i love thinking about characters from one fandom interacting with another fandom but like#out of the realm of them meeting and in the sense of 'oh you know sonic too? that's steven (universe's) favorite show right now :)'#idk it's silly and fun to think about sometimes
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i need jealous racer geto hes js so whudurieiw and the way u write about himm🤭🤭
LUVRGIRL
a/n: eeuuughh idk whether to like this or not but enjoy nonetheless !!! not so much of racing but the sentiment is there lol. previous part (lloromannic) here / @screampied @kizoken @t4kio @redskyvenus @mysugu @suguruplsr @slttygeto ✶
wc: 6.3k
warnings: racer!geto, soft dom!geto, fem!reader, sprinkle of fluff, pet names, praise, ldr, phone sex, masturbation (both f and m), fantasising, daisuke is being annoying again!!!!, sorta jealousy plot point, brief dry humping, oral (f! receiving) / cunnilingus, clit stimulation, fingering, unprotected p -> v sex, breeding / creampie kink, implied multiple rounds, n*sfw under the cut
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the next six months were torture, indefinitely. it was an endless heap of assignments, of deadlines, of long-distance calls with your love that you both were so close to booking flights of your own. university was brutal, too. on top of tuition fees and getting the materials for your classes, it was heart-wrenching to even look at the prices of the flights from your country to japan, so you bit down your pride and subjected yourself to settling for the long-distance arrangement.
“hey, baby,” geto mumbles sleepily and your frown deepens upon forgetting that tuesdays was where he slept early. you still had to call, though, but you realise it too late when he answers with that groggy, raspy voice of his. there’s some ruffling behind the call, no doubt the sounds of his bedsheets as he gets himself comfortable while you huddle at the small nook of your room that’s next to the window.
from here you can see the sun setting, a totally different story in japan where you can hear geto yawn and down a glass of water next to his bed.
“shit . . sorry su, i forgot—”
he scrambles to reassure you, awake and sat up, “no! no— no, it’s okay . .” you wince when you hear him yawn yet again, but this time he sounds a little more in the realm of consciousness. you’re unaware of the smile forming on his face just from hearing your voice, fidgety fingers squeezing and releasing the duvet over him, “what are you up to, my love?”
you hum into the phone and you’ve never wanted to backpack across the seven seas to see someone so bad before. now on month nine, your excitement’s become even more prominent at wanting to end the semester as soon as possible, willing your lips not to mutter out the arrangement you’ve been planning with his group of friends.
“just needed a break from studying for finals. i’m dying,” you lament over the line and your heart flutters at his chuckle, something you miss against your ears and skin immensely, “just wish you were here . .”
“yeah?” and you have to squeeze your eyes shut and rub your thighs together at the soft, rough yeah he mumbles out. you can imagine it too: sitting against his headboard half-naked while the duvet pools around his waist area. he’s sitting there like plaster sculpted by Monti while his hair flows around him. you almost squeal and your boyfriend only catches just the start of it.
“what? what was that?” he asks and your hand is clasped so hard over your mouth like a captor’s got your hostage, but you only let out a breath.
“n-nothing,” you laugh, picking yourself up from the nook and getting yourself comfortable in bed. it’s been a long day of studying, anyway, and your next exam isn’t until five days later. you could afford some downtime, right?
“but,” you sigh, turning on your side and sneakily slipping a hand into your pants, “my day’s boring. it’s all studyin’. why don’t you tell me what you did today, instead?” you can hear your parents already preparing dinner outside, but you press on and try to drain out the intrusive noises of cutlery and porcelain and the incessant calls of your mom to your dad for some help on the stove.
“alright,” he drags the word out and laughs again, getting comfortable in his bed just like you do, but your end goals are entirely different, “but it is pretty boring as well. it was maintenance day today.”
“oh!” you remember him briefly mentioning that the other day — since halloween was approaching, there was bound to be more patrolling policemen around the streets and underground, so races had to be put on hold for the meantime. there was still other more secluded areas to race, but geto didn’t want to risk his Mazda being taken away nor for a stain to appear on his clean academic record.
“changing the crankshaft? i know the old one was giving you loads of trouble,” you mumble, feeling your cunt pulse and throb from the breathing you can hear over the line, “among . . other things.”
“yeah, my baby’s so smart for remembering, huh?” he praises, continuing to go on about his day. while it was merely taking-care-of-his-car day, it was still way more eventful than yours. he had went on a solo day out to your beloved café to relish in the good times, he had hung out with gojo for a while and drank some beer atop the mountain they frequented, even went out for some arcade fun.
“unfortunately—” geto’s low voice spurs you on. you’ve been lazily rubbing at your pussy, just humming into the phone while you only descend more and more into pleasure, “it’s taken a hole out of my allowance, i guess. my dad’s more generous with the parts that he gives me but at the same time i feel like he knows what i’m doing underground.”
he laughs and you fake a giggle, but your breaths are starting to get heavier with each sentence he utters, mind filling with flashbacks of how many ways he’s bent you over to fuck you, drunk on the phantom-like winds upon your ear that sound like he’s whispering all those filthy things to you. “and . . just missin’ my girl.”
“how’ve you been, baby?” he asks with a low voice, like he knows what you’re doing and the term of possession only has you sucking in a breath, fingers slip inside you after possibly a decade of teasing and you find it hard to answer. “darling?”
“y-yeah, ’m still here,” you pant out, afraid of being caught, but your voice quivers enough just for geto to catch on to what you were up to. he didn’t fault you, though (he never blames his girl), but there is a small smirk that forms on his face. he purposely lowers his voice even more, if it was possible, mirroring and mimicking your breathy tone when talking to him.
but with one hand that goes down to his pelvis, he doesn’t have to mimic you at all, hand palming languidly at his bulge. in the dead of the night, there wasn’t much need to keep his voice down in order to hear the pretty moans falling from your mouth; he does anyway.
it’s too shitty of a reception especially with your nokia’s, so he hears the artificial, metallic-like voice coming from his phone, but your sounds are just too lovely, transcending the robotic-ness of a phone call. and it’s like you’re actually there, smiling mischievously at him while stroking his cock and teasing him the way he liked to be teased.
“s-sugu?” you mumble, mind heading into the extremes and confident now that he’s just weirded out and silent, but it’s anything but that.
“yes, baby?” he hums, smiling to himself when he hears rustling over the phone and he can imagine you lifting your hips to remove your panties, tossing it somewhere across the room. “wanna tell me what you’re doin’?”
you suck in a breath — so he knows — but suguru always knows everything so you’re whining into the receiver, pleasantly surprised when he replies with a deep groan that only makes you clench around nothing.
“that’s right . .” he drawls and you hear a soft thud over the line, and now you’re the one quieting your movements just to hear your boyfriend, the faint shlick shlick sounds of his hand along his cock. geto gasps when he squeezes his tip just like how you do it, pre-cum starting to leak. “need you h-here, doll . .”
you mewl softly and start the hand on your clit again, abandoning the tight hold around your phone just so you can use the other to slip your fingers into your warm cunt. it doesn’t even compare to the thickness and length of geto’s dick, but you have to work with what you have. with head turned toward the speaker, your boyfriend has gone non-verbal, too, moaning like a slut into the receiver.
“suguru, i’m— please . .” you whine softly, hips bucking into your hands, “doesn’t feel as g— good.”
geto coos inwardly at your needy voice, mouth falling open at his rock hard cock. it’s so hard that it hurts, left to merely fuck his fleshlight whenever he could and use his hand on other days. he missed your sweet fucking pussy so, so much, just picturing your beautiful arched back that lifts off the sheets and your shaking thighs. he imagines your perfect pout on your face as you finger yourself, unsatisfied, obviously, begging him with tugs to his hands and his eyes flutter close.
“i know, baby, and ’m sorry,” he mumbles, taking the nokia from his ear to put it right up to his relentless pumping and you swallow, the slick, wet sounds more clear now. “but you hear what ya do t’me, don’t you?”
“mhm . .” you trail off, thinking of his fat cock impaling you instead, and you follow his actions to a T, bringing it right to your sopping cunt and geto has to scrunch his already shut eyes just to wish that his hand was your pussy. your hand is getting tired, he’s sure, but you finger yourself so prettily his hand easily speeds up, giving his shaft periodic squeezes.
“so wet, suguu . .” you drag out his name, already feeling your high approach soon, but you want the both of you to cum together. “i miss you stretchin’ me out . .” a hiss from suguru, “i miss your cum spilling out of me.”
that has geto choking out a whine, “f—fuck, sweetheart, don’t say that. i do miss g-giving you all of my cum—”
the filthiness of everything contributes to all your senses, parents omitted from memory, your finals at the back of your mind and only focusing on the envelope that resides on your bedside table containing a plane ticket. in one week you’d be able to see him again — a sweet treat given to you by gojo and nanami with their combined expenses.
you didn’t even know how you could thank them and while nanami waves you off for any payback, gojo did say you could treat him to anything in that café. it was difficult not to be excited, a louder whine drawn from your throat again and he laughs breathlessly, voice down low and distraught.
“any particular reason w-why my girl’s so needy lately—?”
geto basically chokes out his question while you shake your head until you remember that he can’t see you, answering with a broken “no”.
you resist the urge to spill on the exact reason — your mind spiralling from the anticipation of meeting him, the many, many lewd memories you’ve made over six months, his just-woken-up voice — because he’d never let you live it down.
“c-close, suguru—” your thighs are squeezed tight around your tired hand, sensitive from the immense overstimulation, “’m g’nna cum soon—!”
“me too, my love,” geto’s eyes are back open, trained on his cock and watching the sheer neediness shown in his weeping tip and bucking hips. he needs this, he needs you, and once you’re submitting your final paper, he’s sure to look at flights right to your doorstep.
“i’m c—” you’re whining out, body totally turned over and lying on your stomach as you chase your high, fuelled by the deep guttural groans of your boyfriend. your lips and mind are only filled with suguru, suguru, suguru, not even caring that your sheets are soaked and your fingers are cramping.
“baby, baby, baaaby . . s—shit—” geto reaches his release first, mind filled with replenished memories of your tight pussy hugging his cock, spurts of white spilling all over himself with a loud groan and you’re left to listen out for the desperate sounds of your boyfriend miles away, lengthening his climax as he continues to pump himself. “cum all over your fingers, doll . .”
suguru coaxes in that sweet voice of his, mumbling deep into the phone only for you. “doing so, so good, aren’t ya?” the quietness on his end, the slow lazy stroking of his hand again, and you’re cumming all over your fingers, eyes blown wide from the orgasm that he talks you through while you ride it out on your mediocre fingers. your mouth is stained with endless profanities and moans mixed with geto’s name, muffled by the bedsheets you’re so harshly biting into to prevent any loud, unbecoming sounds.
“that good?” he asks with a laugh, yawning yet again and you feel guilty again—
“i’m sorry, s—”
“no. don’t, doll, don’t apologise,” suguru brushes his thumb over his thigh, partially wiping off the cum and partially hoping he can relax the furrow of your brow like he always does. “you’re frowning and your shoulders are up, probably, relax . .”
you sigh, another thing that geto values a lot and has taught to you; deep breaths and untensing all parts of your body.
“good girl, was that good?”
“the phone sex or the deep breaths?”
geto grins. god, he missed you so fucking much — “both.”
“both was very good, thank you very much,” you giggle, not paying much mind to the way you remove your fingers from your cunt, turning over to the bedside table to take some tissues, “although the sex was a little better.”
“aw, no wins for the intense, groundbreaking, spirit-calming deep breaths?”
you shake your head (you’ve got to stop doing that), “ehh . . it was alright.”
geto’s reluctant sleepiness grants you a few more minutes together, his words starting to slur more and more the longer you were on the line, but you can’t say you don’t enjoy it. with fatigue came the words laced with unhindered affection, murmuring softly about hoping to see you soon, to feel you, to kiss you, and you expressed the same sentiment back to him.
the other switches the output to speaker, wanting to take in the messily taken profile pic he set your contact with. a blurred, blinding smile with his face squished against yours; a little below the two of you, berry and cherry clutched within your palms, doing the same. “can my girl do her best for her finals?”
“i can’t promise the best, but i’ll try . . okay?”
geto hums, a soft smile on his face. he’s cleaned up by now, new sweatpants on and duvet pulled right to his neck while he stares at your face, the pixels of the nokia never diluting your beauty.
“attagirl. have a good dinner, lovergirl.”
that knocks some breath out of you, and you grin like a schoolgirl.
“have a goodnight’s sleep, loverboy.”
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you bounce on your heels impatiently when the plane finally lands, waiting for the throngs of people on the flight to leave through the bridge, but it’s taking ages, speed walking once you’re out. you wanted to be the first at the luggage conveyor belt, you needed to be the first passenger of your flight to be out of the arrival doors.
without the rush of the people and the striking colours of your boyfriend’s friends’ hair colours, it wasn’t too difficult to run up to them for a big hug.
“(y/n)~!” gojo drags out your name, waving you over excitedly and bringing the both of you into a group hug. nanami is adamant on being the ever broody racer, but you catch the ghost of a smile when he wraps a careful arm around your shoulders.
“how was the flight, (y/n)?” the blonde’s firm but concerned voice cuts through the chaos of the white-haired man.
“don’t ask lame questions like thaaaat, nanami! you’ll just bore me—” and a resounding smack! is then heard, and gojo’s clutching the back of his head in pain, the other taking the opportunity to lead you away from gojo’s antics and offering to help with your luggages. without words, nanami already feels your nervousness, patting your back in solidarity.
“hey— hey! oi!”
gojo slams the door to his car. “okay, we’ve painstakingly tried to hold suguru back whenever he was about to book flights—” gojo mentions in the car on the ride there, taking way too quick turns for your liking with your luggage going to town in the trunk. its thumps against the roof and sides always seem to interrupt the conversation with the white-haired man, but he seemed too much in a hurry to care. “think it was almost eight separate times!”
“thank you— ah!” you almost lurch forward at the amber light, but gojo decided at the last minute that he was just going to run it — braking then speeding it up all over again.
“you know, for a racer, you’re a terrible civilian driver . .” you groan once you reach the mouth of the familiar car park that you frequented in your six months in japan, but now that gojo’s easily manoeuvres the car to a slow, the adrenaline of the fast drive changes into something of dread, of a dizzying feeling.
what if suguru didn’t want to see you anymore? what if he already booked himself a flight and was nowhere to be found? what if he’s cheat—
your hands are clammy, not even present to how gojo calls out from you from the driver’s seat. cautiously, he’s putting a hand on your shoulder (because god forbid gojo touched anything of suguru’s, both Mazda and girlfriend), and shaking you out of your daze.
you catch glimpses of his sentences: “all . . talks about . . trust . . no girl has . .” but you stop his rambling with frantic slaps to his shoulder. you know you shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions but it’s hard not to when the scene is clear as day. suguru is never one to cheat — from the six months you’ve known him, from the many calls and check-ins the two of you do over the line.
defying time zones, fighting fatigue . . for this?
but you know better to list your lover as the instigator, especially from how this other girl was just hovering all over his Mazda, sticking her ass out and trailing her hand all over his finishing. that was one thing — but geto isn’t making any move to shove her off, only looking at her through hooded lids that could definitely drive anyone off. she wasn’t affected, though.
you’re not listening to gojo even when you step out of the car, already used to the curious eyes that rake over you and your figure — curiosity turns into recognition and then shock when they see how your boyfriend acts, but before you can actually make your way toward them, another man sidles up to you.
oh my god, it’s daisuke. you sigh loudly, knowing how gojo had dealt with him before and how much of an asshole he is, but all he does is look you up and down, not giving one fuck to how the subject of his embarrassment was sitting right in the driver’s seat.
“hey, babygirl.” you want to vomit from that one greeting alone, but you try not to pay him much mind. “what’s a pretty lady like you doin’ out here?”
“don’t your sorry ass have a girlfriend?” daisuke doesn’t even begin to digest the insult, and you think that he’s a masochist with how much he sets himself up for getting insulted, but then the girl’s eyes meet yours — she’s in his pictures, she’s in his wallet, you’ve seen her when this loser beside you blatantly brags about his girl. you’d feel sorry for her but it seems she’s as stupid as him.
they’re exactly that — realising you just walked yourself into one big jealousy scheme planned by the biggest jokers of the underground racing scene, your suspicions are confirmed when his eyes are also locked on his girlfriend with your boyfriend of all people, making sure she sees that he’s all up in your space. she’s doing the same, but when she actually tries to touch him is when geto finally does something, and the jealous burn in your heart quells a bit.
geto’s too smart to be mingling around with her, you hope, when you hear him mutter something to her and you smile to yourself when she cowers under his stare and words.
“you touch my fuckin’ car one more time and i’m sure to drive both you and your loser boyfriend, out of here forever. you can take your clown asses to another parking lot and race there and then i won’t have to see your faces any more,” his hold around his wrist isn’t harsh, but it is firm, and he prevents her from leaving until she gets his message, “plus i have a girl i’m obsessed with. take your lame jealous charade somewhere else and maybe go to couples’ therapy. you two clearly need it.”
and when she looks at you again — you think it’s how your identity settles in her mind — she yelps and finally runs away at the daggers you give, not even sparing a glance to daisuke who’s carefully scooching closer to you. but just as he tries to wrap his arm around your waist, your eyes catch suguru’s.
his eyes soften for just a moment; it was just like the café. his palms turn sweaty and he feels like he could collapse — but now you’re looking just a little different. he wasn’t sure if it was because of your hair or the tiredness from exams, but you’re still as stunning as the day he led you out of the parking lot.
geto cannot resist giving you a big grin, but it quickly fades when his gaze falls on daisuke beside you and a scowl appears. and while your body’s already distancing yourself from the man’s crusty ass lips, you feel a throb go right down to your core when the same annoyed glower forms across his features: eyebrows pulled taut, long strides, muscles bulging in the wifebeater he’s got on.
six months away from your man has clearly done things to you.
with one smooth swoop, geto has you pulled flush against him, not even looking as he uses his free hand to grab at daisuke’s neckline before he leans in to kiss you. it’s admittedly a little embarrassing, cause your body reacts so readily to him, tits pressed against his chest while your fingers tangle themselves in his long hair. he tastes like cigarettes and cherries like always and you moan softly into his mouth when his hands wander right down to your ass to give it a squeeze.
“satoru’s not very good at hiding secrets, unfortunately,” geto spills and you pout, surprise ruined by the loud mouth of his friend, but before he gives you his undivided attention, he tugs daisuke closer, roughly. “but that don’t mean i ain’t happy to see ya, baby.”
geto laughs at your flustered state, until his expression darkens again — “you have a lot of nerve touching my girl.”
“I—i didn’t! she was basically begging for me to touch her.”
“don’t you—”
“p-plus! my girl was all up over you too, so i thought i’d give her a little lovin’—”
geto almost smashes his jaw in. either way, he lands a clean punch to his face that has daisuke writhing on the floor, clutching his mouth in pain but that doesn’t deter daisuke one bit who sits up . . and then is immediately beaten down again with a boot to his chest. your boyfriend leans down and looks him straight in the eye.
“i’m cancelling my race just so i can make my girl scream my name loud enough for you, because you could never fuck her or anyone that good with your shit dick game,” geto scoffs, “and forget girls, you can’t even win enough races to rise up the ranks. you’ve embarrassed yourself enough, don’t you think?”
suguru doesn’t bother waiting for an answer, only ushering you toward his Mazda parked in the familiar corner, easily shooting a text to gojo to cancel the race as he mentioned just so he could . .
with windows down, you relish again in the tokyo night air, the hand that you miss so much on your thigh, the alluring voice he’s speaking to you in, the beauty of geto suguru. everything looked the same since you left, from the photos he’s put up on the dashboard, the berry keychain hanging from the rear view mirror, the outer orange coating of his car.
“i—”
“i’m sorry, my love,” suguru leaps forward to apologise, stopping the car abruptly. you’ve already reached your destination but, it seems he wants to say something first.
“why are you apologising?”
he frowns, bringing his hand to cradle your cheek. easily, you’re leaning into the touch, closing your eyes. “for ruining the surprise, for that stupid fight with daisuke, for letting my emotions take over.”
you mirror him, features also deepening in somberness. “you didn’t do anything — if anything, you were a victim of his girlfriend too. but . . seeing her be all over you, made me think the worst after not seeing you for six months.”
geto’s eyes soften yet again (he simply can’t help it around you), using both hands to hold you, now, and you float into his arms like a feather, like he’s in command. you let him guide you into the driver’s seat, faces so close and just hoping to touch after so many months apart.
“i . . i love you,” he swallows, brushing the hair from your face. you find that he’s shaking and breathing so heavily you’d think he was hyperventilating, but he gathers courage on a deep breath and continues, “i have since you left. right after, i went home to cry.”
“oh . .” your lip juts out, eyebrows downturned and eyes filling just a little, “oh, sugu . .”
“i just have always wanted to say it, i guess,” he chuckles, sniffling to hide his true emotions, “i just didn’t know whether i should say it over the phone where it would sound cheap; b-but, you don’t have to say it back, of course—”
you smile through tears, pressing a peck to his forehead in gratitude, “it wouldn’t sound like it to me, but i appreciate you waiting until i returned,” geto relishes in your lips upon his skin again, and he doesn’t think he could survive another day, another minute, another second without you, ���i have, too, but i’m not sure when. it definitely includes the time you set alarms to wake me up for exams, though.”
he laughs freely at the memory now, of alarms interrupting his dinners and his parents asking “another call?”, but they let him do whatever, happy to hear their boy joking and laughing over the call with his mystery partner. you giggle, using your thumbs to wipe away the tears that did fall, letting the interior fluorescent light of the Mazda illuminate the features you love so much, all belonging to the man you pined over from many miles away.
“i love you too, suguru — stumbling into that random car park was the best thing i’ve ever done.”
“well, it might’ve not turned out as well if some other group had gotten to you first,” his thumb plays with your bottom lip and brings you to him, “’m just glad i got to ya in time . .”
“yeah? what if you didn’t at all?”
“then i would’ve made sure i’d find you in any way that i can, even if i had to beat up a thousand daisukes.”
that makes you giggle at little, a sliver of eye contact shared with your lover before he engulfs you in a rough kiss and your moan reaches the heavens, body so sensitive from being away from his touch that you jolt when he wraps an arm around your waist.
“relax, baby,” geto chuckles, speaking against your lips, “take it slow.”
“but i don’t wanna . .” you whine softly, clinging to him in surprise when he pulls a lever next to his seat and the backrest falls all the way down.
“ah!” you grin, “new mod?”
suguru barks out in laughter, “ya caught me. i got it modified yesterday.”
“so you could do dirty things like this?”
he rolls his eyes with a blinding smile, just so, so happy he’s got you back in his arms again, “exactly that.”
the other willingly shows you just what the modification can take, both hands spread out on your ass and pulling you onto his crotch. your core already feels the half-hard bulge under him, using your hips to grind down even more along him. everything feels like too much, after so long away from him that you already feel your high approaching from simply grinding your clit against him and he teases.
“you g’nna cum, already?” he grins slyly, suddenly moving his hips to meet yours that has a broken mewl leaving your throat.
“b—been too long away from you . .” you admit a little sheepishly, using his shirt as an anchor while you continue to grind your cunt into his front, only your panties and his trousers separating the contact of skin. but with how your body jerks in pleasure, you’d think there was nothing between the both of you. “i need you, quick.”
geto says nothing but help you with small pants, the backlighting from the headlines accentuating your figure so nicely that he grunts out your name in between swears, soon stuttering your syllables once he feels you still on his lap with arched back and throbbing cunt. he can feel you, feel you squeezing around him even when he wasn’t in you.
“guess your fingers were pretty crap, h-huh?” massaging your sides, you hum in disapproval at his cheeky smirk, hoping to change that when he lets you do whatever: you pull him up by his shirt and open the door to his car, pushing at him to get out. you don’t day anything and he already knows what you want when you spread your legs, biting his lip at the wet patch on the pretty set you decided to don.
and even with witnessing this sight over and over, you’re never used to the way geto worships you, reveres you, when he kneels down on straight gravel. he doesn’t care if his pants are littered with small specks of dust and dirt, whether he knees start to hurt, but he only has his eyes set on your alluring cunt, finger delicate when he pulls your panties to the side but just brutal when his mouth meets your clit.
“su— s-shit—!” is all you can manage, hearing the other breathe through his nose once his mouth latches on your pussy. it’s something that he hasn’t tasted since long ago, and he’d be damned to let you go again, so he takes the opportunity to savour your arousal, switching between flicking and sucking on your clit like a starved man.
“she tastes so fuckin’ good hmmff—” his eyes meet yours and he feels you squeeze around nothing, making a show of letting you watch how his tongue circles your bud, down to your hole and up again, slurping up your juices sloppily. “i hope this pussy’s missed me as much as i missed her, yeah?”
“y-yeah . .” you moan out softly, legs moving apart more to get more of him, pelvis humping against his face so much that he has to hold it down with a hand. your pre is dripping all over his leather seats and onto the floor, but he makes sure not to spill any more from the way he scoops it up and prods at your entrance.
“let your pussy do the talkin’, baby,” he mumbles drunkenly, pushing in a finger past your walls and the stretch is already so much better than your own. your jaw hangs open in ecstasy, body already bucking and craving for more when he pushes his thicker finger all the way in and it’s no problem for geto to slip the other in, “she’s sucking me in so well, can she do this to my cock too? hm?”
wordlessly, you’re nodding, catching a whisper of good girl before he’s back on your sopping pussy, sucking up and swallowing all of your arousal that it’s downright filthy, the noises echoing throughout the space. geto doesn’t waste any time pumping his digits, moving them in tandem with his tongue.
“s—suguru . .” you whine, struggling to keep your eyes open from the sheer pleasure, and you’re met with the vision that you can never get enough of — your racer boyfriend’s tongue out, hooded lids and soaked chin — and he grants you a little more of euphoria, groaning loudly into your pussy. with each minute, he’s only getting harder, unbelievably so, so your fantasy cut short when he removes his fingers and mouth with a pop! and laughs at your needy whine.
“you’ve been away too long, come,” geto stands to give you a kiss first, letting you taste yourself, “i need to be in you, darlin’.”
and so when he first slips in, it feels like heaven on earth, his leaking tip nudging past your folds and right into your warm cunt that he whines so loudly, long hair falling all about his face and body. you’re not different, nails digging in his skin at the stretch that you’ve missed, cock so much longer and thicker than your fingers.
“t-this is better than any fleshlight, fuuckk . .” he mutters to himself, one hand holding your ankle up and the other holding your bent knee. he’s hoping the modification he made to his car wouldn’t give up on him, because he knows he won’t be able to hold back once you’ve adjusted. but when you start moving earlier than he expects, he doesn’t give you the chance, slamming right up to the hilt until you’re shivering and clenching around him.
“g—god, r-right there, sugu—” you preen, nothing but incoherent and repeated sentences mumbled by you over and over, “feels s’full . .”
“y-yeah? tha’ it?” you don’t need the shitty light of the abandoned parking lot to make you look beautiful, you’re doing it all on your own when your body arches towards him and your legs shiver in his hold, catching glimpses of just how wet you were — juices smeared along your inner thighs, a clear sheen of it along his length, all thanks to the lighting. “so sloppy, huh . . listen to ’er.”
geto emphasises his thrust, in, out, and in, out, just for you to hear your dripping pussy dragging along his shaft, one of the things of yours that makes him go insane.
“all because of you,” you babble mindlessly, fingers expressing your need for him and he listens like he always does, body hovering over yours just to kiss you and because of that he’s thrusting all the more deeper into you as you break the kiss with a loud moan. geto laughs against your lips, hips making quick work to make sure he stays in his new angle, and he’s rewarded with your lewd pleas for him.
he’s ramming into you so perfectly, mushroom tip just barely brushing against your cervix each time that it has your mouth permanently open in pure pleasure.
“well . . you’re the only doll to get me hard and needy like this . .” he chuckles again, kissing down your neck to make sure you get blue and black into your skin, “and i fuckin’ love her for it.”
with a shaky hand you pull on his ruined ponytail, “s-say it again.”
“i love you,” suguru almost whispers, afraid of breaking the silence.
“again . .”
“i love you, sweetheart,” that makes you bend into his hold, undoubtedly.
“again, suguru—”
his hips are relentless, still moving even through his pussydrunk confessions, “i love you— i-i love you, i love you. so, goddamn, much— s-shiiit . .”
“m-me too, su . . i love you— i—” your arms trap him, circling around his neck and making sure he stays close to you and he pushes on your knees more, fat cock fucking into you in a more open mating press, knowing you’re close by how your toes curl and your stomach contracts, by how your pussy flutters around his mouth and soft needy sighs turn into wanton moans. he’s got you mapped out, memorised, all from his devotion to you.
“i know, baby, you’re close, y—yeah?”
he feels you nod, thighs starting to burn from the position but while your pussy keeps sucking him in, he’s sure to continue to slam into you, making sure all four walls of the parking lot hear the obscene sounds of his balls slapping against your ass.
“c’mon, cum with me, princess,” he murmurs, lightheaded with the tightness and warmth of your pussy. it’s a wonder he hasn’t cummed already, sneaking one hand in between your bodies to rub at your clit. your moans are rendered inaudible, only managing pathetic squeaks before you’re tipped over the edge and you’re whimpering so loudly into his car, cum dripping down and out your cunt and right to your ass.
your pussy flutters with geto’s continued thrusts, prompting him to reach his release right after with a deep groan, hips stuttering in your sensitive pussy until he’s spilling his load, white and hot. it’s just so, so goddamn much, stuffing your hole full of his cum that it has no choice to spill and dribble out when he removes his cock, the sight just so mesmerising to him.
“p—please,” your energy is far from used up, turning your body over just so you can present your ass to him. face squished into the driver’s seat, you use both hands to spread your cum-filled pussy, just asking for more and geto only smiles with a certain lilt in his voice. “need more, suguru . .”
“that’s my lovergirl.”
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an indentation in the shape of you || Cha Hyun-Su x f!Reader
summary: Hyun-Su wants to learn how to make you feel good. The two of you experiment some more.
word count: 2.8k
warnings & tags: fluff, smut, reader is afab, explicit consent, pwp, porn with feelings, fingering, dry-humping i guess?, they're both virgins and pretty awkward but they're getting better at this, all very vanilla.
first one-shot · previous one-shot
This one-shot can be read independently as there is nothing intense plot-wise that requires having read the other parts, but I do recommend reading them for context.
A/N: this is my first hyun-su one-shot without angst lol (...don't get too used to it). anyway, this is more smut, and i think it's more intense than the previous one. hyun-su is more confident in this one, and he takes charge a little more (but in other ways he's pretty subby, so do with that what you want). hope you enjoy!
There is something about watching Hyun-Su moving around in your house that warms your heart in a way you can’t quite explain. He’s seemed more confident there lately, no longer tiptoeing or stiffening around you like you could kick him out any second. It reminds you of days forever gone, when your mom used to sit at the table while doing her crosswords and your dad put music on the second he walked in through the door.
It reminds you of when this house was a home.
Right now, Hyun-Su’s fixing up a spear he’s brought here with some of your dad’s tools. It’s not his, you know that much. ‘Yi-Kyeong asked me to take care of it’, he’d said when he had set to fix it. There was something to his tone that had stopped you from asking for more, even if you think he’d have told you. He’d said her name respectfully, but with deep sadness, and you had known that there was a lot more to this story. You’d get there some day, you were sure, but not tonight.
Hyun-Su glances up at you, and you almost whip your head away to pretend you weren’t looking at him, like you’re a highschooler with a crush. Instead, you don’t even try to make it look like the long forgotten book in your lap is of any interest to you, and you give him a smile.
He stills his movements.
“Is something wrong?”
His voice is calm and deep. He sure has come a long way.
“Just like looking at you,” you answer, because it’s true, and even with all that progress, you’re not surprised when Hyun-Su looks away from you, cheeks turning red.
When he gets the courage to look back at you, though, a bashful smile illuminates his features, and you don’t think that would have happened even as recently as a few weeks ago.
“You do?”
There’s just something in the air. Something fresh and sweet and new, something that makes you bite your lower lip while you nod, suppressing the giggle that’s forming in the back of your throat. Hyun-Su’s eyes on you feel intense, and you’re not used to getting that kind of look from him. After a few seconds of that, he abandons the spear behind him to stand up and walk towards you, eyes not leaving yours for a second.
A long, intense shiver runs down your back. Under his hoodie, you can see the muscles of his shoulders moving as he walks, and fleetingly, you wonder if you’d have had a chance with him, in a world without the Apocalypse, but even that is quickly swallowed by the fact that you have him now.
He puts a hand on the back of the couch as he leans close to you to kiss you, the other coming to rest on your waist and oh, if he keeps doing things like that, you think you’ll just turn into a puddle. Your heart is fluttering, and when his hand sneaks under your t-shirt, long, cold fingers carefully caressing your skin, you think it just might fly out of your chest.
His lips move slowly against yours, and you tilt your head back as he towers over you. You feel like you’re going into overdrive from how sensual he’s being, how his tongue dances with yours as the soft sounds of the kiss fill the room. It’s not long before he’s gently pushing you onto your back on the couch, and he goes down with you, putting one knee between your legs to support himself.
And it’s all just so much. Hyun-Su’s lips, his taste on your tongue, his warm body half-covering yours, his fingers running over your ribs, and, fuck, now his knee just almost, almost pressing right where you need him to.
But this feels nice, too, and you’re not trying to initiate anything sexual just yet, so you do your best to be patient. You wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, and find some satisfaction in the way Hyun-Su loses his rhythm at that. Knowing that you still have that kind of effect on him, even as you’re unraveling completely under his touch, makes you just a little more confident in what you’re doing.
It isn’t long before Hyun-Su’s gotten his bearings back though, and then he kisses you with renewed passion. The kiss turns less controlled, mouth crashing against yours harder, his hand tightens on your waist— before he pulls away, panting.
“Sorry,” he says before he can catch himself, cheeks flushed.
“I didn’t mind,” you answer, but your voice is squeakier than you had intended.
“I didn’t mean to— I wanted to ask you something.”
His black eyes are wide, and as much as the blue eyes are like an electric shock running through you, you love them so much. You love how you drown in them, you love how kind they are, love that they are, truly, a window to his soul.
“What is it?” you whisper, not trusting your voice anymore.
“Just— What we did. Last time.”
No need to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out, so, even if you feel blood rushing to your face, you nod.
“I wanted to, uh, return the favor. If you don’t mind.”
It’s your eyes’ turn to widen, and you push yourself onto your elbows to better read his expression. The skin of your face tingles with how burning hot it is.
“I mean I— Sure but you don’t— You don’t have to do anything—”
“I know,” he says, shaking his head. His voice is soft. “But I want to.”
You swallow, but you lay back down. You’re more nervous in this situation than you would have expected, feel vulnerable, exposed, even if you’re all clothed for now. But you trust Hyun-Su, you do, with all of your heart, and you cannot imagine a better person to have this experience with. So, slowly, you nod.
“Are you sure?”
“Very sure,” you whisper.
“Then can I…?”
He pulls on your shirt, but without putting any force into it. His eyes are on you, waiting for your approval — or whatever you decide to answer with.
You swallow.
“Um, yes, but could you— could you also…?”
He understands your meaning without you having finished, and acts on it faster than you would have expected, almost immediately pulling his own hoodie over his head and letting it fall to the floor. You’d noticed before that, for all his shyness over other things, he doesn’t seem to care about nudity all that much, but you’re not sure what to do with it.
For now, you can at least admire the work of art that is his body, his well-defined muscles and hard pectorals, and since he’s out in the open now, you give him a nod.
“Go ahead.”
He takes off your shirt like you’re made of porcelain, pulling it slowly and softly over your head, and taking his time so it doesn’t get caught in your hair. It is such a sweet sight, how focused he gets on the task, on making sure he’s doing right, so that he doesn’t hurt you in any way. It’s only once he’s done that his gaze lands on your body. He stills, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, and you can’t help but stiffen.
It might be silly, at this point in your relationship — and when the world has literally ended outside your window — but you’re feeling self-conscious. You want to fold your arms in front of your breasts, hide your stomach and any imperfection.
“You’re beautiful,” Hyun-Su says, so obviously in awe, and the weight on your stomach is replaced by sweet, sweet butterflies. “Is it— is it okay to—”
“Touch me,” you ask instead of letting him stutter through the rest of his sentence, and he almost gasps at that, pants suddenly feeling a lot tighter.
“You shouldn’t say things like that to me,” he mumbles, bright red once again, stealing a kiss from you when you open your mouth to tease.
Then he’s kissing down your neck, and you can tell that he’s mimicking the things you did to him the last time something like this happened between the two of you. You barely have time to find that sweet, though, because soon the only thing on your mind are the open-mouthed kisses he’s pressing against your skin, and how they make you so desperate to buck your hips against he’s oh so well placed thigh.
He doesn’t linger on your neck, though, soon moving down to your chest, sneaking a hand behind your back to try and unclasp your bra — something he ends up struggling you with so much that you’re the one that eventually reaches back to get it done. He’ll have all the time to learn that kind of things later. For now, there’s something on your mind, and you don’t want to have to wait any longer.
You let him slide it down your arms, then discard it, letting it fall with the rest of your clothes.
“Can I…?”
“You still don’t have to ask.”
He hesitates for a second, before going back down to press a shy kiss under your collarbone, right where your breast starts to form. He keeps kissing his way down, hands for now cautiously staying away. Finally, he reaches your nipple, and you cannot hold back a distinct gasp when he carefully wraps his mouth around it. It turns into a full moan when he flicks his tongue against it — and you could swear you feel his mouth stretching into a grin right after that.
It’s then that he cups your other breast with his hand, and you shiver. His body may be radiating heat, but his hands are cold. They don’t stay that way for long though, not with how hot you’re running right now yourself. He starts off shy over there too, at first massaging your breast gently, before his fingers dare brush against that nipple. It’s hard already, and with his mouth on the other side, all you can do is arch into his touch, moans still falling freely from your lips.
Pleasure’s running wild in your body, each and every sensation going straight down to your core, more so when his fingers experimentally pull on your nipple. You’re dripping wet already, desperate for relief, and it’s not long before you can no longer hold yourself back and buck your hips up against his leg.
He lets go of you almost immediately, glancing down at your lower body as if he doesn’t understand what’s happening. When he looks back at you, his eyes are impossibly wide, his pupils dilated.
“Did you— Did you just—”
“Hyun-Su,” you call out in a sigh, running your fingers over the nape of his neck. “Touch me.”
For a second, his whole body tenses and he just stares at you. Then he exhales.
“Fuck,” he mumbles under his breath. “Fuck. Um. Then I’ll— I’ll just—” He starts fiddling with the button of your jeans, and just the anticipation of his touch where you need it the most sends pleasure rushing through you once more. This time, he manages to get them off of you without your help, and there’s another slow exhale. “You’re so— You’re so—”
Wet is the word you think he’s searching for, and he’s not wrong about that. The urge to reach down between your leg to take care of the ache you’re feeling is strong, but the desire to feel him down there is all-consuming, and so you wait for him, your breathing loud and ragged.
“Tell me, okay? Tell me what feels good to you.”
He doesn’t take off your panties, probably because he hasn’t gotten your jeans fully off, and instead just pushes them to the side. He’s cautious here too, at first barely brushing against the lips, which still makes the muscles of your thighs tense. It feels like you’ve been waiting for it for centuries when he finally inserts a long finger inside you, sliding in so easily from how dripping wet you are. Your hold on his shoulders tighten, fingers digging into his skin, and even with your lips pressed tightly together, your moan reverberates through your body.
“Good?” Hyun-Su asks, and his low voice in your ears does absolute wonders to you right now.
“You can add another one,” you say, except it’s probably more of a whine, but you can’t tell for sure, not with how much your head is buzzing right now.
Hyun-Su obeys almost immediately, and you bury your head in his neck to muffle the groan that follows. You feel so good, so full, and he hasn’t even moved yet. You let yourself adjust, before giving him more instructions.
“You can— You can spread them open and— ah!— m-move them in and— Ah!”
Hyun-Su follows your advice diligently, and soon you no longer even have the strength to hold on to him, falling down onto your back with your whole body arching into his touch, following after him if he pulls out. It’s so, so fucking good, nothing you’ve ever done on your own can compare to this and you don’t know how you’ll be able to go back after that.
You’re gasping and writhing underneath him for you don’t know how long, and you’re so, so close to the edge, but you need— You just need something more, so you push yourself back up on your elbows, something harder than you’d think, when your muscles feel like jelly, and that’s when you realize that his hips are bucking against your leg. You hadn’t paid any attention to it, but now you see how obviously hard he is, and the small, almost shy movements of his hips as he ruts against you.
“Hyun-Su,” you call — you’re no longer paying attention to how your voice is coming out —, “here—”
You grab his wrist, and even if it means he pulls his hand out, something that immediately has your walls clenching around nothing at the loss, guide him so his fingers brush against your clit.
“There,” you whisper. “You can keep, uh, keep your fingers inside and— and touch me there, too.”
He nods, pushes the fingers back inside. There are a few seconds as he figures out how to best put his hand, and then when he strokes your clit with his thumb, you almost immediately lose it. You only have the presence of mind to lift your leg up, just a little, so it presses against his hard cock.
It’s his turn to freeze and to let out a moan then, one obviously surprised out of him.
“You should feel good too,” you manage to mumble through the haze of pleasure.
“But I— I want to make you feel—”
“We can both feel good,” you answer, and Hyun-Su just cannot resist kissing you again. It’s messy, tongues clashing together without much control, but fuck, he cannot explain or control the way he feels about you.
You come just a few moments later, waves of pleasure crashing through you all at once as his thumb circles your clit, fingers deep inside you, moving at a tranquil pace that lets you feel all of his movements inside you.
When you open your eyes again, he’s above you, staring at you lovingly.
“Good?” he asks.
Better than that.
“That was incredible,” you tell him though even that feels like an understatement. You love the way he obviously preens under your compliment. “But— But what about you? Didn’t you—”
You reach out, but he grabs your wrist before you can touch him.
“I, um, I’ve already—”
He’s turning bright red again, but you understand without another word. His jeans are still on, and you haven’t even actually touched him, and yet he still came in his pants, against your thigh, while fingering you.
Blood rushes to your face so fast you feel light-headed.
“Oh,” is all you can truly think to say. Then, shyly, “Want to go get cleaned up?”
“Together?” His voice is soft, questioning, but his eyes are in yours, comfortable instead of avoiding. You nod.
Later, you’re still in his arms, your back pressed against his chest, his face buried in your neck. And you, too, are comfortable.
There’s just something in the air, something fresh and sweet and familiar, and you think something you haven’t let yourself explore all that much, even if you’ve known, deep down, for a long time.
It just might be love.
and here we are! this one felt a lot smuttier to me than the previous part, but it was fun to write about this relationship in a less angsty way, too. maybe i should let them be happy a little more lol. anyway, i hope you liked it! next part probably won't be smut, but i don't know when it will be out. i have a new, time consuming internship that doesn't give me a lot of free time, so i don't know how much/when i'll have time to write. but i definitely have more stuff i want to write for this couple! so don't hesitate to comment and/or reblog to give me the motivation to write after work lol, and i'll also be answering my asks when i have time!
#sweet home#hyun su#cha hyun su#sweet home x reader#hyun su x reader#cha hyun su x reader#sweet home netflix#sweet home 2#sweet home season 2#cha hyunsoo#hyunsoo#cha hyunsoo x reader#hyunsoo x reader#sweet home smut#cha hyun su smut#hyun su smut#hyun su imagines#cha hyun su imagines#sweet home imagine#sweet home fanfic#my writing
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Clover's Recipe - visual development - 2018-2020: Paintings I made for a series pitch idea created with my friend Rachel Howell while we both were painting on SU the movie. We both were very influenced obviously by SU, but also a lot by Bee and Puppycat, and Sky: Children of the Light...and that might be a little too obvious in my paintings here looking back lol. We made a whole pitch bible with character bios, episode summaries, themes, but we never finished/pitched it as we both got so busy with work and freelance in the last few years (and also it seems nothing gets greenlit these days anyway....) so this is as far as I got art wise! Maybe we'll bring the idea back to life sometime. The art mood board was pretty much Kiki's Delivery Service meets Zelda/Mario/Kirby but i'm not sure I'll ever figure out how to paint ghibli style, so that might not come across haha - also the colorscript in here I never finished sadly .... i would love to go back to it sometime.
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no hands | choi su-bong (thanos) x reader
pairing: choi su-bong (thanos) x f!reader
warnings: smut, unprotected sex, praise kink, sextape (kinda? whoops), mentions of violence, very brief allusion to suicide, vaping, semi-public, fluff.
note: surprise for all of us, because i was worried I wouldn’t be able to post again so quickly lol. this was technically a request that i think i tweaked a little after someone sent that one tiktok a few days ago.
———————
You can already feel his eyes on you from across the club, burning into the back of your head. You spare a casual glance over your shoulder to see if your senses were correct and, yeah, he’s staring. His jaw is set firmly in place, scowling at you, his vape clutched in his hand so hard that you feel it could break. He’s definitely pissed off.
Initially, you aren’t sure what exactly it is that you’ve done to set him off like this. All you’re doing is ordering another drink at the bar, and talking idly to another patron. Maybe that’s what it is? Is he jealous?
This guy who stands next to you, talking about how he loves coming to this club, is just that: a guy. He’s not your type, by any means. He seems annoying and frankly boring, but you are nothing if not polite, so you humor his conversation.
“I love it here, too,” you smile, focusing on the man in front of you again.
“You come here a lot,” he says, resting his arm on the bar to lean a little closer towards you. “I’ve seen you here before.”
“I feel like we should buy stock in the place, we’re here so often,” you laugh.
“‘We’?” the man asks.
“Me and my boyfriend,” you say, weakly gesturing behind you. “And his friends, usually.”
“Ah, boyfriend,” he nods, a look of disappointment on his face. “I should have come over to speak with you the first night I saw you. Maybe we could have changed that.”
“Oh,” you say, simply. You’re thankful for the dim lighting in the club because you’re sure that you blush when it hits you that he’s flirting with you, and you’ve been foolishly welcoming it.
“You know, we still could change it,” the man continues. “Which one is your boyfriend? I can win in a fight, I’m sure.” You scoff at his claim, because there’s no way this guy could take your boyfriend on and win without any extenuating circumstances in play.
“Sorry,” you say, still finding yourself trapped by your instinct to be polite. “I doubt that you could. He likes to fight.”
It’s not untrue; Su-bong has gotten into several physical altercations since you’ve been with him, but it wasn’t as though he sought them out. It sounds silly when you say it out loud, so you break eye contact with him and look at the bartender, checking on your drink.
“I should get back soon…” you say. “I’m sure they’re wondering where I am.”
“Am I making you nervous?” the man asks, taking a small step closer to you. “Or is your boyfriend one of those guys who needs to know where you are at all times?” You laugh, as the bartender sets your drink on the bar in front of you.
Su-bong does not control you like this stranger implies. He has a healthy amount of jealousy within him, but he doesn’t often let it out. Generally, if he catches another guy so much as looking in your direction, he will pull you closer or hold you tighter as a reminder. But men have never flirted openly with you in front of him.
“Is he?” the man pushes.
He’s not aggressive, thankfully, but more persistent in his advances. Foolishly, you haven’t given him any obvious signs of disinterest, though you thought that mentioning your boyfriend would have been indication enough. Even if you weren’t with Su-bong, you would not be interested in pursuing anything with this man — now if you could only make that clear to him.
“No, I guess not,” you say, with a laugh, unsure of how to react beyond maintaining your politeness.
“MG Coin.” Your boyfriend’s voice comes from behind you, and immediately he slips past you, placing himself in the space between yourself and the stranger. “You must not be thinking straight,” Su-bong says. “Do you need me to knock some sense into you again? We know how that went the last time you thought you could take something from me.”
Fuck, you think. This is Myung-gi.
You’d never seen him before, but you should have recognized his voice from how often you’d overhear Su-bong watching one of his videos. There was a time where you thought that you were going to lose your boyfriend to this guy, because he spent more time watching MG Coin videos than he did with you. Unfortunately, it took a significant financial loss for Su-bong to realize that it was a waste, but you were both past that, and moving to a happier life.
“I didn’t take anything from you before,” Myung-gi says. “You held out for more money.” You can notice from your position behind Su-bong that he immediately tenses up, so you place your hand on his back to try to calm him. “I never thought you’d have anything that I’d want,” Myung-gi continues, a small smirk on his lips. “But I have to say…I’m tempted.”
Su-bong straightens his back, trying to make himself look taller, but you grab a handful of his shirt to keep him from making a decision he’ll regret. He takes a hit of his vape, locked in a stare with Myung-gi, who shows no signs of backing down.
“What do you think?” Myung-gi asks, looking past Su-bong and locking his gaze onto you.
“Don’t look at her, look at me,” Su-bong says, firmly, catching the other man’s attention again. “You don’t get to look at her.” The tone of Su-bong’s voice is different. You know he’s a little jealous, but this is beyond him being territorial — he’s furious. “You should consider yourself lucky that she’s here,” Su-bong continues. “Right now, her hand on my back is the only thing keeping me from bouncing your head off of the floor.”
“Your attitude hasn’t changed since the last time I saw you,” Myung-gi laughs. “I almost missed this, Thanos.”
“Since you’re so busy pushing up on my girl, that must mean your little pregnant sweetheart must have finally ditched you.”
“I’m glad we’re able to have this chat, though,” Myung-gi says, with a smirk, not appearing to be affected by Su-bong’s jab. “After the games, I would have expected you to end up on that bridge again.”
“Hey!” you snap, reaching past Su-bong and shoving Myung-gi by his chest. He takes a few stumbled steps backwards, and you move past your boyfriend to place yourself between him and his enemy. “Do not talk to him like that,” you say. “You wanted to cause some problems tonight, well, now you get to experience my attitude.” Myung-gi appears a little stunned by the way you speak to him, but you continue. “I had zero interest in you from the start, so let’s clear that up first,” you say. “He already told you that I’m the only reason he hasn’t put his hands on you yet, and now I’m more inclined to let him do what he wants.”
“Hmm, well, aren’t you two perfect for each other,” Myung-gi laughs, shaking his head.
“That’s right!” Su-bong says, proudly, slinging his arm over you from behind and leaning forward to point at Myung-gi. “So, run along, MG Coin. Find someone else to scam.”
Su-bong waves his hand dismissively in Myung-gi’s face, and the other man rolls his eyes as he takes his leave. Su-bong leans harder against you, pulling you closer to him as you hear the crackling of him hitting his vape. You grab your drink from the bar, keeping your body relatively stiff to hold the extra weight your boyfriend has put on your shoulders. You take a sip of your drink, and set the glass down again just as Su-bong’s arm that is draped over you lifts so he can grasp your chin. You feel him stand upright again, and he tilts your head to the side so he can look into your eyes.
“That was sexy,” Su-bong mutters, pressing a kiss to your lips. “But you shouldn’t have been talking to him to begin with.”
“Oh, I’m not allowed to talk to other men?” you scoff, shoving his hand away from your face.
“Not ones I hate.”
“Well, make me a list of their names so I’ll know in the future,” you joke, trying to pull away, but Su-bong wraps his other arm around you now, trapping you against his body.
“Where you going, huh?” he mumbles, with his mouth against your ear. “Running after your new boyfriend or something?”
“Ya’know, maybe I should,” you reply, pushing his face away from you. “I bet he’ll dance with me, since you never want to.” Su-bong unwraps his arms from you, and grabs your drink from the bar, quickly drinking the rest and setting the glass back down.
“After you, my feisty girl.” you can hear Su-bong smirking as he speaks, standing behind you.
You make your way to the dance floor with your boyfriend hot on your trail. You settle on a spot near the edge of the crowd and Su-bong slides into place in front of you, his hands grabbing your hips to pull you against him immediately.
Su-bong likes showing up at this club when a specific DJ is there because he knows that he would play what he deemed ‘good music’. Tonight is one of those nights and you slowly begin to grind against your boyfriend to a song that hasn't been popular in at least ten years. Su-bong’s hands stay on your hips, but you know that won’t last long; he usually won’t dance with you at the club because he can’t contain himself when he feels you grinding on him. Judging from the look on his face, tonight is no different.
One of his hands presses to the small of your back, getting you even closer to him, and you can feel that he’s already starting to get hard. You press your hands against his chest and lick your lips, peering into his eyes with the most innocent look you can muster.
Su-bong smirks, leaning in towards you as if he’s going to kiss you, but you slip your tongue from your mouth and flick the tip over his lips to tease him. He bites his lip, but you can still see how wide he smirks, his eyes now dropping between your bodies to watch your hips sway.
One of Su-bong’s hands grasps your thigh, pulling your leg to pinning it against his hip so you can feel him getting harder. Your arms wrap around his midsection now, holding yourself closer to him so you can press yourself against his bulge.
“You’re hard already?” you ask, noticing Su-bong’s is fixated on your lips.
He doesn’t answer you, but instead pulls his cell phone from his pocket. He holds it above your heads at an angle so he can snap a picture of you both. Quickly, he releases your leg as the song overhead begins to transition into another one of his favorites. Su-bong spins you around and yanks your body against his again, pressing himself against your ass as he takes hold of your hips again.
You feel that he still has his phone in his hand, as it’s pressed to your hip, so you slip it from his grasp and start to record a video. You grind yourself against him harder now, putting on a show for the camera as you flutter your eyelashes. You can see in the phone screen that Su-bong watches between you bodies for a moment, his lips moving to the lyrics of the song. When he looks up at the camera, he flashes his middle finger, playing at being tough like he loves.
Su-bong’s arms wrap around your body, and he leans against your back, pressing his head against yours. You both continue to play it up for his camera: he sticks his tongue out and uses one hand to cup your breast over your shirt, while you reach behind you to grab his shirt to keep him snug against you.
You hand his phone to him and focus on your dancing. You get lost in the song, grinding and swaying, and when you don’t feel Su-bong’s hands on your hips you throw a glance over your shoulder to see him vaping while aiming the camera of the phone between your bodies.
“My girl’s nasty,” Su-bong says to the camera while laughing. He points the camera towards you and you place your hands on your knees, bumping and grinding harder against him. “Fuck, that’s good!”
When the song begins to transition again, you feel his hands snaking around your waist, pulling your back flush against him. One of his hands begins to work up the front of your skirt, and for a moment you allow him to think he’s being sneaky. When his fingers make contact with your panties, you grab both of his hands and lace your fingers together.
“C’mon, baby,” Su-bong laments. “I know you can feel how hard you’ve got me. No one’s looking, so we can just—”
“I’m not letting you finger me in public,” you say, reaching over your shoulder to place your hand on the back of his head, fingers threading through his short hair. He nudges your head so you angle to meet him for a kiss; Su-bong thinks that he’s sneaky, because you can feel his hand making another attempt to reach under your skirt. “If you keep trying,” you mutter against his lips. “I won’t let you touch me for a week.”
“You wouldn’t be able to make it even two days without begging me to touch you,” Su-bong laughs, and you can’t help but join him because he’s right. “You don’t want me to touch you right now because you got wet thinking about me stomping MG Coin’s head in,” he teases. “You liked watching me get jealous over you.”
“Your voice gets deeper when you’re jealous,” you whisper, nuzzling your head against his, still grinding against him, although not as voraciously.
One of Su-bong’s hands makes its way up your body, cradling your chin so he can hold you in place to kiss you again. When he breaks the kiss, he traces his fingers over your lips, and you can’t help yourself: you part your lips, hoping he takes the hint. With a smirk, he slips his index and middle fingers into your mouth, shallow, not even to his first knuckles. You keep your mouth open so he can watch you twirl your tongue around his digits; he can’t look away.
“Didn’t you drive us here tonight?” Su-bong asks, his voice deep and thick as your mouth now closes around his fingers, sucking softly.
“Mmhm,” you hum.
“I don’t think anybody will miss us…” he trails off, letting you come to your own conclusion as to what he’s implying. You smile around his fingers, slowly pulling them from your mouth. “Twenty minutes,” he adds, grinning.
You take hold of his hand, dragging him behind you through the club towards the exit. When you step outside, you become aware of how hot you are when the cold night air hits your skin; it makes you realize just how bad you want Su-bong. You both hurry across the street towards the parking structure, taking the stairs to the second floor where you parked, the whole time slapping Su-bong’s hands away from your thighs.
When you reach the car, Su-bong hurries into the backseat first, scooting over and motioning for you to follow. You immediately straddle him, grinding your now soaked panties against him, grabbing his face to pull him in for a kiss. You’re very aware of how hard you’re breathing against him, overwhelmed with desire for him. One of Su-bong’s hands rests on your hip, while the other slips between your thighs, pushing your panties to the side so he can touch your clit.
“Mmm,” you hum, breaking the kiss to look down at him. “I didn’t come out here for you to tease me.”
“I just wanted to make sure you’re ready for me, baby,” he chuckles, his other hand moving to free himself from his pants. “Shit, I don’t have a condom,” Su-bong says, the realization suddenly hitting him.
“I don’t care,” you say, reaching between your bodies and pulling your panties to the side to give him the access he needs. “Fuck me anyway.”
“I love you,” he laughs, guiding his cock inside of you. “Jesus, you always feel so good.”
“So do you,” you reply, placing your hands on his shoulders so you can settle down to bury him all the way inside of you. You stay still, feeling him throbbing inside of you, thick, causing you to ache; you sigh weakly because you could stay just like this for the rest of your life.
“Now who’s teasing?” Su-bong asks, slipping his hands up your shirt, pushing it above your breasts. “The way you’re clenching around me…”
“Can’t take it?” you tease, closing your eyes and licking your lips.
“You won’t be able to take what I’ll do to you if you keep this up,” Su-bong returns, and you both chuckle softly. You start to circle your hips in his lap, wide slow circles to get some friction to your clit. “Come here,” he whispered, pressing his hand to your back to force you to lean towards him. He holds you there, and uses his free hand to tug the cup of your bra away from your breast so he can take your nipple into his mouth.
“Mmm, we can’t help but tease, can we?” you giggle. Su-bong hums in response, quickly switching to play with your other nipple now. You shift your hips forward now, then rock them back, wanting to feel him all over; the movement makes him pull back and settle against the seat again.
Su-bong, likely tired of the teasing, sets his hands onto your hips, urging you to lift off of him. You raise up until only his tip is left inside of you, and you give another circle of your hips, for one last tease. Su-bong laughs breathlessly, but yanks you down again, burying inside of you to the hilt. You moan, gripping his shoulders more firmly as he lifts you again only to bring you down harder.
“Let me do it, baby,” you whisper. “Let me take care of my man for coming to my rescue.” Su-bong gives a smug smirk, loosening his grip on your hips to allow you to take the lead.
You love this version of Su-bong. He gives you a taste of Thanos, smug and overconfident, and you give him what he wants: a girlfriend who is obsessed with him. It turns you on because it’s almost like a roleplay; sure, you love Su-bong, and you express your admiration for him often, but when you fawn over him, it’s different.
“Thank you for letting me ride you,” you whisper, very slowly starting to rock yourself back and forth in his lap. “I’m so lucky that I get to feel this big cock stretching me out.” The smirk on his face grows, his eyes trained in your lips while you speak. “Fuck, it feels so good,” you whine, making your voice sound needier.
“Yeah, I bet it does,” Su-bong mutters, yanking your hips faster so you can take the hint and start properly fucking him. “You love the way it makes you feel?”
“Mhm,” you hum, taking his hands and lacing your fingers together so you can use his hands for leverage to start moving faster. “No one makes me feel like this. No one can get me off like you do.” Su-bong pulls in a sharp breath, yanking you towards him and wrapping his arms around you so that he holds your arms behind your back with your bodies pressed together.
“I’d better be the only one getting you off,” he whispers, leaving a few soft bites on your jaw. “No one else is even allowed to look at you.” He speaks through his teeth and it makes your stomach flip.
“Are you gonna kick their ass if they do?” You rock your hips faster, shifting to put some weight onto Su-bong's thighs so you can get him deeper as you move.
“I’ll destroy them,” he breathes. “You’re all mine.”
You moan, because you picture it. Some scumbag laying on the ground beat to hell, with Su-bong standing over them, knuckles bloody and a split lip. It makes you giddy, almost feral thinking about him being so desperate to keep you to himself that he would fight someone. You’re sure that’s something to unpack later, but you have to stay in the moment where Su-bong pulls you forward to lean your torso against him.
“I felt you just now,” he breathes in your ear, letting go of your hands so you can brace yourself on the seat behind him. “Clenching because you were thinking about me fighting for you, weren’t you?” You whimper, nodding your head as you keep rocking your hips forward as best as you can at this new position.
Su-bong grabs the back of your thighs firmly, holding you still as he starts to thrust into you. All you can do is moan, dropping your head against his shoulder because he fucks you so deep like this. You breathe hard against him, moaning from deep inside of you.
“No one has ever fucked me like you can,” you mutter against his shirt, and he moves faster in response. You cup his cheek with one hand turning his head towards you so you can kiss him, feeling his moan rattle in your mouth.
Su-bong’s thrusts get sloppy, losing momentum. You break your kiss and sit up in his lap again so you can take over again. His hands rest on top of your thighs now, allowing you to control the pace at which you start to bounce in his lap.
“You’re so tight,” Su-bong groans. “You feel good like this. I don’t think I’m going to use a condom ever again.”
“The only way you can do that,” you begin, breathless as you still bounce on him. “Is if you’re not fucking anyone else.”
To be fair, you know he’s not sleeping with anyone else, and you have no issue with him not using a condom. But you want to keep playing, teasing. From the look on Su-bong’s face, a smug smirk and a quirked eyebrow, he feels the same.
“Hmm, I don’t know,” he says, as though he’s actually thinking about what you said. “I may not be able to make that promise. The ladies love to throw themselves at me, and I’m a gentleman.” You slow your movements until you stop, Su-bong halfway inside of you and a look of confusion.
“Maybe you’d rather have one of them finish you off then, ladies man.”
Su-bong grins now, realizing what you’re doing. When you begin to climb off of him, he grabs your thighs with both hands, flipping you over so you’re laying on your back, flat on the seat. He settles on his knees between your legs, supporting his weight on the back of the seat with one hand and the door of the car with the other.
“You called my bluff,” he laughs, thrusting deep into you, and you have to press your hand to the door to stop your head from bumping against it. “With pussy this good, I don’t need to go anywhere else.”
“If anyone even tried with you, I’d fucking kill them,” you reply and Su-bong’s smirk spreads when he lets out a growl in response to you.
Maybe you both have some things to unpack.
Su-bong fucks you hard and deep, his hips moving faster with each thrust. The car shakes and creaks with his movements and you’re sure that anyone outside would surely know what’s happening if they walk by, but you don't care. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in as he moves.
With your legs now around him, you feel his phone in his pocket and get an idea. You slip your hand into his pocket and remove the phone, giving him a quick look to ask for approval, which he gives you with a smirk and a nod. You start recording, aiming the camera between your bodies first to focus on the way he fucks you.
“You’re so big, baby,” you whine. “I love how you stretch me out.” Su-bong moans, plowing harder into you.
“This pussy is so fucking tight,” Su-bong grinds out, and you aim the camera at his face to record the way he bites his lip, and furrows his brow in concentration. “Who knows how to make you come?”
You know what he’s asking. You told him a long time ago that before him, the only person to make you come was yourself. He was the first one to take enough care to actually get you off, and it felt better than you ever made yourself feel. And now he wants you to tell him again.
“You do, baby,” you moan. “You’re the only one who knows how to make me come. You’re the best I ever fucking had.”
Su-bong goes harder and harder, rolling his hip and angling into you so he can push you closer to your climax. You hold the phone up above you to be able to record both of you as best as you can. He lets go of the door and slips his hand under your skirt to rub your clit. You use your legs that are still wrapped around his waist to roll your hips to meet his thrusts, feeling your orgasm approaching.
Your panting and moaning echoes through the car as you reach your climax. Su-bong fucks you through it, finding his own orgasm from how firmly you clench around him. Your body starts trembling and you lose your grip on the phone so it clatters to the floor, your hands wrapping around his torso to pull him against you.
“Fuck, baby, I love you so much,” Su-bong pants in your ear, still rocking his hips against you as he fills you up.
“I love you, I love you,” you repeat it because fuck you’re so caught up in how good you feel, you can’t ground yourself. He kisses you, sloppy and passionate, his hips slowing to a stop. “Fuck,” you whisper, as his weight drops onto you and you thread your fingers through his sweaty hair. “That was hot.”
“Mhm,” Su-bong hums, kissing along your jaw. “The windows are fogged up.” You angle your head to look at the foggy glass, and you laugh at how silly it seems. When he leans back, peering down at your face, he smiles, his hand blindly feeling around on the floorboard for the phone. “You look gorgeous,” he whispers, pointing the camera at your face. “I’ll make this my lock screen.”
“You’re a freak,” you laugh, embarrassed by the way he looks at you, so you shove the phone away from your face. You grab him by his shirt, pulling him in for another kiss, and you know he angles the phone to film it. “I love you,” you mutter against his lips.
“I love you, too.”
Su-bong finally stops filming and slowly climbs off of you, tucking himself back into his pants. He rubs his hand soothingly over your thigh as he takes another hit from his vape.
“One day, I’ll convince you to let me fuck you in the club,” he grins, his hand gently fixing your panties and smoothing out your skirt. You laugh, sitting up beside him and adjusting your shirt now.
“Maybe for your birthday,” you quip.
“You always say that,” Su-bong replies, with a small scoff. “The list of birthday sex promises is growing, babe. I hope you can make good on them because I'm ready to wear you out.”
#choi seunghyun x reader#x reader#choi subong x reader#squid game imagine#t.o.p x reader#thanos x reader#squid game smut
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Are you sure?! Sapporo - Episode 8
I know.
I know it's been a bit and a half.
I know it's taken me time to come here and talk about the last episode.
I've been digesting, totally in the feels, and trying to recover.
The photobook, JM's little piece of information regarding his whereabouts night before Jeju and the pic. OMG, that JK marked by JM pic. The more you think about it the crazier it gets. That they actually did that and that the photo made it's way into the book (not to mention us knowing that JM has that pic he took of JK on his phone). All quite a distraction from me working through my thoughts about the episode. A welcomed distraction, but a distraction none the less.
This last episode we got of their Sapporo trip was an emotional rollercoaster. Not only for JK and JM. The level of Joy on the one hand. Seeing them so very happy. And them allowing us to see even more of them and their happiness. Like JM said:
Thinking again about what he said here... and then going back to this:
Yeah, I know he was talking about their Sapporo trip, but you know that this isn't the first time we saw JM wanting to claim his territory.
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I know I don't have to point out where JM was pointing where he was going to be writing "Jimin", right?
So, this too is something JM does at home? Just a thought, lol.
And then those two just had to kill me. I know they were both pensive and sad it was all coming to an end, but JM crying, that just devastated me (because It's JM, and JM struggles so with showing himself so vulnerable).
So yes, it has taken me a second to get my wits together and come back and talk a bit with you about what we had in Episode 8.
When I finished watching the episode for the first time I couldn't help but think:
It's the end of the world as we know it...
Well, not really, because we knew it pretty well, but for those that didn't (or wouldn't see it, or denied it, or lived in a delusion that it wasn't happening) it sure is changed.
And then we get JM and JK just crushing down all those TKK rickety houses of cards (see what I did there?) with the photobook. Absolutely priceless!!
Are you sure?! Episode 8
Filled with romance and sentiment and so much feels. Couplie feels.
This episode, is the one, out of all those it followed, to cement for us, the spectators (all spectators, not only Jikookers), that these two are... drumroll... a REAL LIFE long term ever so loving couple.
No huge ear sucking, hickey showing or sunscreen claiming moments. And yet, this episode differs so much from the ones that came before because the whole aura of it was so heavy in "if it looks like a duck and quack like a duck then it's a fucking couple you idiots, just open your eyes".
This is JM and JK just being themselves albeit Sapporo Jikook are innately different due to timing and place - Japan and last trip before enlistment made this so much MORE for the two of them, and we most definitley saw just how much so at the end of this episode.
But this is also the editors doing, with the company's ok, of course, allowing us to see so much MORE. I do believe, that just like with the hickey finding it's way into memories 2020, this episode, the editing of it, was a conscious decision of both Jikook and the company. Jikook being themselves and allowing us to see more of it. More of them. I can assure you there is much we did not get to see, just like there was much we did not see from the previous trips and episodes, but we were allowed to see MORE in episode 8.
And again, it's not about seeing sus moments, because we definitely got a few of those in this episode. We had some in previous episodes as well.
It's about the MOOD.
it's about the editing allowing for more private moments (emotionally private, couplie private, not necessarily what people love to see or think would be the most suspicious ones, the more obvious ones with sexual innuendos), moments that I am sure happened in the other two destinations as well but were edited out.
But there were still things we weren't allowed to see.
Like when a crying JM goes to wake up JK in the morning.
Too personal. Too emotional. Too private.
Beyond the MORE, it was just TOO MUCH.
And yet we did get Jikook just being themselves and us getting to see it. Jikook just BEING. And it was beautiful. It was emotional. It was intimate. It was so very special.
We got to see them react to the first episode of the show. And although this most definitely wouldn't be the first time we got to see them sit down and watch and react to BTS content, that was always within the context of BTS content and with the other members. I can think of one time we got to see them watching their own interactions during the Black Swan shoot.
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But even that had them sitting apart and the whole group present.
This was intimate. Just the two with only a red pillow between them (which I am 100% they put there to remind themselves of where, when and what they are doing). JK holding on to that pillow, to prevent hands from straying? I guess it kept them at bay... at times...
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So yes. We see JK and JM (oh boy JM) definitely in the feels. And the different editing. Allowing us to see and feel their intimacy.
And with all that, the whole intimate aura surrounding that whole episode we got some cute and some more obvious moments (those moments you can point your finger at and say "there you go", unlike a feeling you get from just watching the two BEING).
We got so so much in this episode.
We got their usual playful flirting.
One example of many:
I mean, really???
The facial expression while saying it, and the mostly lack of reaction from JM as well. No flinching, no "you shouldn't say stuff like that", nope... just this:
This, to me, is not stressing about JK saying this to him but more about it being said for us to hear.
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And I'm sorry, but whichever way you look at it, this is not the reaction you would get from a bro who was just told by his bro to strip.
We got more flirting in the car, at the convenience store, at the accommodations, in the hot tub as well. I will get to it all, don't worry, lol.
We got the touchy.
We also have the full combo of flirty playful and touchy:
We got JM telling us 3 times he was taking and took a boyfriend pic.
We got them calling each other pet names.
We got JM talking about his butt and JK's familiarity with it...
We got JK showing off his BF privileges.
youtube
We got JK trying to uplift JM's mood.
youtube
We got JK telling us all these trips with JM have been the best of his life,
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and:
We got JK totally lost, gazing all stary eyed at JM.
Fuck, that was so beautiful!!
I want to go back a second to the clip I shared - what the absolute perfect ending to an absolutely wonderful show. And that little surprise at the end.
Even watching it again now I'm balling my eyes out.
JM rubbing his shaved head... I can't...
😭😭
The one thing that gives me strength is knowing that they are there TOGETHER!!!
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