#and they found they had been twisted into something that only knew how to survive and take
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im-just-kinda-here-k · 2 years ago
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Stellaris: Your people have completed the transition into robotic bodies.
Me: yay!
Stellaris: they are now free of aging, pain, and disease.
Me: yay!
Stellaris: also, you can now create "virtual worlds" that specialize in research, trade, and unity.
Me: yay!
Stellaris: on these worlds, you can commodify people, effectively killing them and leaving a deposit worth 8 trade value.
Me: ya-oh...
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yeonzzzn · 5 months ago
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for astra: park sunghoon
part one of for astra | spotify playlist
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pairing: sunghoon x afab!reader word count: 15.1k
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synopsis: sunghoon finds himself waking up and repeating the same day over and over again until he finally breaks the cycle and finds himself on a space station called ‘astra 1’. he soon learns he is one of the few who are still alive and that they aren’t alone…
genre: space!au, survival!au, neurologist!sunghoon, neurologist!reader, strangers to lovers, angst, smut.
warnings: swearing, blood, m*rder, guns go pew pew, other life forms, some science talk, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, sunghoon fucks reader against the wall, adding more as the story progresses, MINORS DNI!!! (these tags will be on every part even if they do not consist of said tag)
intro | part one | part two
this is part ONE for the series, please read the INTRO first before this one!!💜
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Sunghoon found himself in the Arboretum. Nov directed him here saying he’d be able to find you here since it was your last known location. 
And Sunghoon desperately hoped it was still your location. 
Finding you wasn’t the only thing Sunghoon was hoping for. Nov mentioned a greenhouse filled with veggies and other plants that can help with healing and medicines for in case…ya know, he gets mind controlled or something. 
Apparently, there were worse typhon than just the mimic and phantom he encountered earlier. Heeseung named the phantom as well, apparently. The human-like one. It made Sunghoon wonder what was worse than those two. And he assumed since Nov mentioned mind control, then yeah there’s worse than the two he’s already had to deal with. 
The Arboretum was quiet, beautiful, but quiet. Too quiet for Sunghoon’s liking. But still beautiful. The Arboretum was so green. Despite the darkness of space leaking through the domed windows that surrounded the area and making it dark, the green still shined out that darkness. 
The greenhouse sat on the farthest side of the Arboretum to Sunghoon’s right. To his left was an elevator that looked to take you down to the crew quarters or up towards the bridge. Both of which he planned to explore to find Heeseung after you gained his bracelet's location. 
The wrench swung at his side as he walked and his hands clenched tightly to the shotgun, one finger on the trigger. Nov questioned the wrench before Sunghoon left the office, to which he just responded that he was keeping it. How could he abandon the trusty wrench? 
Sunghoon kept walking to the right, eyes wandering over every piece of plant and cobblestone of the path. He passed by a bench where a dead body lay atop of. The dead looked exactly like the ones he found in the lab. He shuddered, quickly looking away and walking faster. Sunghoon couldn’t help but think how busy this station must have been before the outbreak. How alive it could have been. It’s a shameful thing he had no memory of it or the faces of the dead he knew he would encounter. Anger boiled within him, he caused this. 
Following the cobblestone path eventually led him to the greenhouse. Even from the distance he was at, he could see how green and full of life it was. You had to still be alive if the greenhouse looked this good in shape. 
He lowered the shotgun down to his side and reached for the handle, his gloved hand gripping it and twisting. His senses were immediately filled with the smells of all the vegetables and plants. He took a step in, eyes already looking for you. 
But found himself staring down the barrel of a shotgun. 
Well, this is a turn of events. 
“Move and I’ll fucking blow your brains out!” his eyes shift from the barrel to a woman. She wore the exact same spacesuit. He looked for the name tag, seeing Dr. YN/LN printed across it. He found you. 
He shifted his eyes back to your face, taking in your every feature and structure of your face. His heart pulled to you, and he didn’t understand why. He assumed it was because you held the very thing he wanted desperately: the location of Heeseung. 
“Dr. LN?” he asked, “You’re Dr. LN?” 
You lowered the barrel to his throat to get a better look at him, and you’ll be damned, “Guess those tests didn’t actually kill you, Dr. Park.”
Sunghoon raised his brow, “Excuse me?” 
You shot the barrel back to his face, remembering exactly that he was put under test after test. Who knew what Typhon still laid dormant within him, “Are you actually Dr. Park Sunghoon? Or are you under mind control and acting normal?” 
He scoffed, “If I was under mind control you think I’d continue to just let you point your damn fucking shotgun to my face?” 
Yep. That’s Sunghoon alright. You couldn’t miss that attitude anywhere. 
Before you could lower your weapon, Sunghoon had pulled it out of your hand and tossed it. His shotgun barrel is now pointing at you, “Are you under mind control?” 
You laughed, “I don’t think a person under the mind control of a telepath typhon would be able to take care of this greenhouse, ya?” 
He lowered the gun, “I need your help.” 
You scoff this time, walking away from him and regaining your weapon, “You just accused me, pointed a gun to my face, and then asked for help?” 
Sunghoon locked his jaw, “You did it to me first, Doctor.” 
“Oh, please!” You whipped back around to him, “I have a right. Mostly after everything,” You could see how his eyes softened, “They completely wiped your memory, didn’t they?” 
Sunghoon shrugged, “I don’t remember stepping foot on this station or anything that happened here besides the tests they forced me to take and the fact I was drugged every single day as they stripped my mind over and over.” 
You watched how he tightened his grip on his weapon, you felt bad for him, honestly. To have those things done to you over and over and stuck in a loop. You’d be pissed off too. 
Your eyes met his and all it took was those few seconds for his headache to return, dropping down to his knees and clenching the side of his head, and biting down on his lips to keep from screaming. Blood filled his mouth from the bite on his lips and slowly pooled out the side of his mouth. 
“Sunghoon!” Your voice called to him, but he could barely hear you. 
Don’t black out again. Don’t black out again. Please. 
A flashback came to him then, small glimpses of you. Walking past you in the labs at the company building on Earth. Neither of you ever spoke to each other. The last memory he was given was seeing you hold up the first ever neuromod and your bright smile. 
Then his headache faded. He felt your hand on his back and the other on his knee. Sunghoon slowly dropped his hands and then looked up at you, “You created the neuromods. That was used to add human’s and typhon’s psyche into each other's brains. And the mind transfer.” 
You pull your hands off him and stand back to your feet, “Yeah. I did.”  You could tell that was the only piece of information that was returned to him in whatever kind of attack that was to his brain. Probably the effects of the neuromods he injected into himself finally wearing off. The other scientists obviously didn’t make it any easier on him. Not when they were drugging him on top of removing the neuromods and stripping his memory every single time. 
Sunghoon thought back to the neuromod and the three long prongs that stook out of the tip of it and how the body of it looked in the same shape as a handgun. Did he shove those things into his body over and over again?
“So you had just as much of a play on this happening as I did.” 
You had half a mind to kill him right now, “If you came here to remind me of my part in this, then I suggest you get the fuck out of here. I don’t need this.” 
Sunghoon wiped the blood from his mouth and chin, seeing that it wasn’t its normal crimson, but a shade of black mixed in with it. 
“An effect of the neuromods,” You said, glancing away from him and at the walls of the greenhouse, “It wasn’t as perfect as we had hoped.” 
Apparently not. 
Sunghoon stood back to his feet, getting everything back on track, “I need your help.” 
You scoff again, “What more could you want from me, Sunghoon?” Formal names. You’ve been formal with him on and off. 
“We weren’t strangers to each other, were we?” he asked, “You’ve been acting like you hated me since meeting just now.” 
You placed a hand on your hip and smirked at him, “Something like that,” you looked him up and down. He looks good for someone who was missing for three months without any food or water. You thought he either was dead or became one of the typhon. The human body couldn’t have survived that long unless someone was helping to keep him alive. It couldn’t have been November. Nov was destroyed. But knowing Sunghoon, he probably revived the little guy in secret. You shook your head away from the thoughts, “You said you needed my help?” 
Sunghoon nodded, “I heard you had the list of the tracking bracelets.” 
Your lips parted, “I did. Who told you that information?” Before he could answer, you answered for him, “You sneaky bastard, you did revive November.” 
Sunghoon gave you a confused look, clearly not knowing what you meant. But also wondering what all you knew. He needed to keep you close, “What do you mean did have it?” 
“I took the list and the software used to track them after the first outbreak and hid them in my room down in the crew quarters. But considering that I’ve been hiding out here, it’s proof the crew quarters aren’t safe.” 
The first outbreak? Meaning another one happened. Which is the one that caused so much death on this station. 
“I need that list and software,” was all he said and he didn’t care if the desperation showed on his face. 
You narrow your eyes at him, “What do you need it for?” 
“Heeseung,” he took a shaky breath, “I need to find Heeseung.” 
Ah, Dr. Lee Heeseung. Sunghoon’s best friend. How could you forget the second CEO who used to sign off on your paychecks and was attached to Sunghoon at the hip. 
“Heeseung has been missing for just as long as what you have,” you said, “The chances of him being alive are slim.” 
Sunghoon wasn’t excepting that answer, “Nov said his bracket was off, which means he could still be alive! I need your help to turn the bracelet back on and track where he is.” 
You studied him, this wasn’t the only thing he needed you for, “What else are you planning, Sunghoon?” 
He lifted his head high, “I’m going to find my best friend and any other survivor and get off this station and destroy it in the process.” 
You raised a brow, “You’re going to destroy Astra 1?” you laughed, “You think if that was possible, I would have done it by now? The power plant is the death trap filled with Typhon.” You knew the risks and what it would take to blow up this station. It was one of the safety precautions, after all, to know how to do this. He made sure of that. 
“I don’t care. Once we find Heeseung, the three of us can work together,” He took a few steps closer to you, “Please, YN. We need to survive this and destroy the typhon and everything that happened here.” 
You looked into his brown eyes, the same ones you’ve never been able to say no to, and forced yourself to look away, “Fine. But we’ll need to make a stop before heading straight to the crew quarters.” 
“And that is where exactly?” 
“Psychotronic. The place of the outbreak.” 
Sunghoon swallowed, “What for?” 
You smiled, “Someone stole my card key to get into the crew quarters and I am assuming you don’t have yours?” 
He sighed, already knowing this was a terrible idea. “Onward to Psychotronics.”
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Astra 1’s lobby looked as peaceful as it did when Sunghoon first saw it, and the view of space? He still wasn’t over it either. The Arboretum had a good view of space, yes, but it was nothing compared to the lobby. 
Sunghoon followed behind you but stopped short and glanced up the stairs that led to his office, eyes stopping at the trauma center door. Relief washed over him when he saw the lock at the door was still lit up red. But his curiosity took over, legs moving him towards the stairs. 
You turned around in time to see him take the first couple of steps up. Where was he going? You knew his office sat on the top floor, but he did not need to go there. 
“Sunghoon!” you tried to whisper just loud enough for him to hear, but he indeed did not hear. He walked up the steps as if he was entranced. And that worried you. You double-checked the lobby and made a quick sprint to the stairs, praying no Typhon was in the area. 
By the time you caught up to him, he was staring through the small window of the trauma center door. 
What the fuck is he doing?!
Sunghoon locked eyes with the phantom, finding that it was still in its same place crouched in the corner. 
  ₒₕ? yₒᵤ’ᵣₑ ₛₜᵢₗₗ ₕₑᵣₑ?
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows, why was he here? He had more important things to do. 
𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍?
Gᵤₑₛₛ wₑ ₐᵣₑₙ’ₜ ₛₒ dᵢffₑᵣₑₙₜ, yₒᵤ ₐₙd ᵢ. ₘₐybₑ?
Sunghoon tilted his head, and the phantom mimicked his motion, tilting its head the same way as if it was mirroring him. 
𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝. 𝚆𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝.
Its dark purple eyes widened, tilting its head to the other side. 
ₐᵣₑ yₒᵤ ₛₒ ₛᵤᵣₑ?
Sunghoon clenched his hands tight around his weapon. What is this creature on about?
You touched Sunghoon’s shoulder, “What are you doing?” You glanced in the window, your heart racing at seeing the phantom and how its dark eyes shifted to you, “Sunghoon, let’s go!” you tugged at his suit sleeve, “We need to go!” 
ₛₕₑ ₛₜᵢₗₗ wᵢₜₕ yₒᵤ? ₕₐₚₚy?
Sunghoon went to respond, but your unrelenting tug on his clothing took his eyes off the phantom, and looked at you, “Yeah, sorry. Let’s go.” He didn’t look back at the creature as he walked past you and down the stairs. 
You followed quickly after him, not wanting to take another glance at the phantom locked in the trauma center. 
The eerie feeling Sunghoon got the moment you both stepped foot in front of the Psychotronic’s door shook him to the core. This is where the outbreak happened. This is where it all started. The lock panel on the side of the door was red. He sighed, another passkey he doesn’t fucking remember. You walked up to the panel, typed the four-number passkey, and hovered your thumb over the unlock button, “The moment I unlock this door, we will have to relock it from the other side. God knows what we are fixing to encounter here. Are you ready?” 
Sunghoon lifted his shotgun up, “I survived my memory being wiped over and over, I can survive whatever the fuck is past these doors.” 
You held back a laugh, knowing damn well he wasn’t ready for what he was fixing to witness. But you pressed the button anyway, watching the door open due to the motion sensor. Sunghoon didn’t hesitate to walk in and you went in after him, quickly relocking the door behind you. 
Sunghoon couldn’t place his finger on it, but something about this small office didn’t feel right. There was another door with “PSYCHOTRONICS” printed in red across it. It was a full glass door, and it looked even more eerie than the feeling Sunghoon couldn’t shake off him. 
“Something doesn’t feel right,” he whispered, wandering his eyes to every inch of the room. 
You also clench your shotgun tighter, finger resting on the trigger. Something indeed did not feel right here. And you knew it wasn’t just because of what haunts psychotronics as a whole. 
Out of the corner of Sunghoon’s eye, a paperweight sitting on the desk in the corner fell to the floor as if it was pushed off. Mimic? No. Couldn’t be. He didn’t feel this unease in the presence of a mimic. Neither did he with a phantom. This was something else completely. 
The paper weight then shot across the room and the air grew thick. 
Gₑₜ ₒᵤₜ!
Both your and Sunghoon’s suits automatically flipped the helmets over your head just at the right moment of the both of you being lifted off the floor. 
“A poltergeist!” you screamed, gripping a hold of the bookshelf off to your left.
“A fucking what?!” Sunghoon snapped, wiggling himself in the air to try and steady himself, “Where the fuck is it!?” 
Your fingers started slipping from the bookshelf, dropping your shotgun and watching as it hit the floor in the same movement of gripping your other hand to the shelves and retightening your other hand, “It’s another Typhon! Its abilities are the exact same as a poltergeist ghost, you’ll need to find it!” 
Easier said than done, YN. 
At this point, Sunghoon’s back touched the ceiling. The poltergeist pressed him so hard he felt like he could barely breathe. Other smaller objects started to float in the room, making it harder to locate exactly where the damned thing was. 
Until Sunghoon caught movement by the door leading to the inner depths of psychotronics. The movement was quick, but not quick enough for him to get the location of the thing. He struggled against the force of its ability, but nevertheless, he lifted the shotgun up, closing one eye to help aim. The world seemed to have slowed at that moment of locking onto the poltergeist. Its body flickered slightly, “There you are.” 
One shot. One bullet piercing through the middle of its body was all it took for its invisibility to falter along with its lifting ability, dropping everything in the room, including you and Sunghoon. 
You pushed yourself forward to land on your back, knowing damn well the amount of pain you’d be in. Sunghoon on the other hand, was able to tuck and roll the minute he touched the ground. The minute he rolled back onto his feet he was rushing the geist, its deformed—and rather now angry—body rushed him too. It slowly flickers itself back to being invisible. But Sunghoon wasn’t going to let that happen, at least not fully. He dropped himself back to the floor the moment he sensed the geist was inches away and slid across the floor, aiming the barrel directly at the geist. 
One shot. Two shots. Three. The first hitting its middle, the second at its neck, and the last in the head. Its black blood coating his helmet and suit. The geist let out an agonizing screech and dropped its dead weight on top of Sunghoon, who quickly pushed the damned thing off him. 
Once he was back to his feet, he took a couple of deep breaths in and rested his hands on his hips, “What the fuck is a poltergeist Typhon?!” 
You slowly picked yourself off up from the floor, stretching your back out and praying nothing was broken, which nothing seemed to be, “It’s exactly what I said,” you walked over to his side, staring down at the creature, “Poltergeists are exactly like phantoms but not successfully created, which is why they look deformed and have different abilities than phantoms.” 
Sunghoon scoffs, the cool air now hitting his face as the helmet automatically retracted itself, smearing the black blood from the helmet now onto the back of his suit, “Poltergeist,” he mumbles, “Did Heeseung name that damn thing too?” 
Your helmet also retracted back, giving you access to fully look back at him, and you just smile, “You did, actually.” 
He raised his brows and let out a whistle of disprovement. He named this thing? And that was the best he could come up with? His thoughts stopped at the realization of the question he just asked you, as if he’d known you for longer than the short couple of hours. 
Sunghoon stared back at you, scanning his eyes over your features, trying to look into your mind somehow. To see what it is you know and to figure out why it is that he wanted to pull you towards him. 
“Let’s go, we need to get that card key.” You said, breaking eye contact and walking past him, and pushing the door open. Sunghoon slowly walked behind you, staring at the way your hair falls behind you, and how your hips sway. The way you carry yourself. His heart kept pulling and pulling towards you.
It confused him as to why. He just met you. The two of you were obviously complete opposites. Both your attitudes retract each other. So why? Why does he feel the need to pull you into his arms? Why does he want you in his arms? Why did he want to do all the things that kept rushing his brain with and for and to you? 
Sunghoon’s mind drifted away from the thoughts of you as the two of you approached the psychotronics lab. His eyes widened at what he was seeing in front of him. Not just what he was seeing, but what he was hearing. 
ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ.
He cupped his hands over his ears and grinded his teeth. There were rows upon rows of phantoms locked inside small chambers no bigger than the size that they were. 
You glanced back at him, seeing as he hunched over slightly, eyes wide and looking down at the floor. You walked back over to him and hooked your hand on his bicep, pulling him to walk forward. You weren’t sure what it was that was causing this, all you could guess was it was the effects of the neuromods. 
The minute you pulled him away from the phantom's chambers, he lifted himself back up and let out a pained exhale, “Why are they in there?” 
You tilt your head, clearly questioning why he cared, “They were the test subjects for the human psyche trials. They are the ones that weren’t so lucky to escape doing the outbreak. Some are ones that were caught and put back in there.” 
Sunghoon looked behind him, looking at each chamber, “There are no humans in there, right?” You tucked your lip between your teeth, his head whipping to you in your silence, “YN, answer me.” 
You look in the direction that you both need to go, “Just follow me.” 
So he did. Followed you to the very end of the ward and the fear Sunghoon just had became true. There were cells filled with people, some were dead, but most were alive. Their eyes burned with hatred as you both walked past their cells, “YN.” 
“They are prisoners, criminals given to us to use.” You hated every word of that sentence and could feel the piercing eyes of not just the ones trapped, but also Sunghoon’s, “They were the humans who underwent the first trials of gaining the Typhon psyche. They are the reason you went through the tests next after it was deemed successful. But when the neuromods were stripped from them, their memories stayed.” 
So they know exactly who I am and what I did to them here. 
Sunghoon looked each of them back in the eyes, telling them through his apologetic eyes how deeply terrible he felt for what he had done. Even if he didn’t remember any of it. 
He kept following you to the last cell that sat in the very back of the wall in the middle. The man who resided in was alone, his blonde hair slowly drifted into his eyes as he tilted his head to his left, a smirk growing wide across his face. 
“Well look who the fuck it is!” he clapped his hands, “Never thought I’d see your two faces ever again!” his smirk turned into a frown, “Especially yours, Park Sunghoon.” 
Sunghoon frowned back at him, but not out of sadness, but from the pure anger he felt towards this man. He didn’t understand why. 
The blonde lifted his head up, staring down at the two of you, “What could either of you possibly want?” Sunghoon looked at you and then laughter filled the room, “Now that’s a sight to see!” the blonde chuckled, “Dr. Park is actually quiet for once!” 
Sunghoon whipped his head back towards the male, “Why the fuck are you in this cell?” 
The male tilted his head again, “You don’t remember?” he chuckled again at Sunghoon’s silence, “Fuck, they wiped your memory?” 
You sigh, “This is Jay Park, trialed for several third-degree murders on and off Astra 1.”
The blonde smirked, stretching his arms at his sides and taking a bow, “At your service.” 
You continued, “He killed multiple doctors, nurses, scientists, and other normal everyday workers here just for sport.” 
𝙲𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢.
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes at Jay, the blonde mimicking the expression. 
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚎, 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞?
Sunghoon barely nodded, only giving a tilt of his head enough to show Jay he could, in fact, hear him. 
Jay smirked and glanced back toward you, “I am going to assume you didn’t come here for a history lesson, YN. So get to the point.” 
𝚆𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔. 𝚃��� 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚠 𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜.
Jay looked back at Sunghoon, “And why on Earth would I just hand over that keycard?” he reached into his back pocket and pulled the card out, your name and face printed over the front of it, “And what would I gain giving it back to you anyway?” 
You didn’t understand how Jay knew you wanted the card, but before you could answer, Sunghoon did it for you. 
“I am going to blow this motherfucking station to kingdom come,” he said without missing a beat, “So if you want to survive,” he tilted his head down, staring up directly at Jay, “I suggest you give us the keycard and we’ll give you your freedom and escape back to Earth.” 
Jay tucked his tongue into the side of his cheek, glancing back and forth between you and Sunghoon, clearly weighing out his options, “Is that all you’d need from me?” Jay questioned, “I have a baby sister back home, I can’t risk some bullshit that’ll end with my death. That stinkhead needs me.” 
𝚁𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝚈𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚎.
“Fucking watch it!” Jay snapped, snarling his teeth at Sunghoon and gripping his hands to the cool bars in front of him, “Guarantee my safety and I’ll help out in whatever you need.”
It was your turn to look at Sunghoon, trying to read whatever it was he could be possibly thinking. 
“I promise you’ll return back safely to your little sister,” Sunghoon stood up a bit straighter, “You will also release the rest of these people and lead them to the escape pods, but you won’t be allowed to leave until I say so,” Sunghoon made quick work to glance at Jay’s wrists, seeing a tracking bracket attached and snapping his eyes back to his face, “We can track your location, so the minute you step foot off this station,” Sunghoon walked up to the bars, grasping the wrench at his belt and releasing it, swinging with all his might and hitting the two metals together, the ringing of them echoing throughout the lab. 
 ₘₐₖₑ ᵢₜ ₛₜₒₚ. ₘₐₖₑ ᵢₜ ₛₜₒₚ. ₘₐₖₑ ᵢₜ ₛₜₒₚ.
The Typhon’s cries were so loud it not only affected Sunghoon, but also Jay. Both males wincing at their screams against their minds.  
Once the cries settled after the ringing stopped, with a few pants, Jay nodded, “Fine. I’ll help,” Jay tossed the keycard between the bars and on the floor, you rushed to pick it up, “Now let me out.”
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Sunghoon had a bad feeling about letting Jay take control of the other prisoners and lead them to the escape pods, but he didn’t have any other option. Sunghoon also couldn’t shake away the fact Jay seemed to also be able to hear and communicate via the mind. Did they both go through similar tests? Had to have. 
All Sunghoon could currently hope for was for Jay to lead the others to the pods safely. 
The crew quarters were smooth sailing, or so you hoped. It was quiet and not a soul in sight. All the lights were still on and not a sigh of them even being tampered with. It definitely felt off, but you also weren’t going to complain. That still didn’t stop you and Sunghoon from treading lightly and not speaking a word with both shotguns locked and ready for use just in case. 
Yeah, the whole station gave Sunghoon an eerie feeling, but specifically the crew quarters did. Something was strange about this place. Something so unsettling. He wanted to get to your room, get whatever shit it was you needed to track down Heeseung’s bracelet, and get the fuck out. 
What made Sunghoon feel so unsettled was probably the lack of bodies, which you would think would be a good thing. But with the Typhon on the station and their abilities…
The entire area was filled with gold columns, silvery wallpaper for the walls, and a crimson carpet for the flooring. Each step was muffled by the carpet, which made the trek to your room easier. Sunghoon didn’t even realize he was holding his breath until the two of you stepped foot into your room and the door was closed and locked. 
Sunghoon let out a breath and steadied himself against the wall, watching you kneel down to the floor by your bed and pull out a laptop. Sunghoon raised his brow, “You hid everything in a laptop?” 
You rolled your eyes, typical of Sunghoon to judge something like this, “Would you rather I have just laid all the software and drivers in the open for everyone to see?” You quickly stood from the floor and tossed the laptop onto your desk and walked to the other side of the small room and to a picture frame you had on the wall, “I put everything onto this laptop, copied it into a neuromod and destroyed the rest.” You twisted the picture frame up, revealing a panel. You pressed in the code and the small door swung open, revealing the neuromod. 
Now Sunghoon was even more confused, “Why did you transfer the data into a fucking neuromod?” You glared at him as you took the neuromod and closed the safe, letting the picture frame swing back over and covering it. Sunghoon’s curiosity got the best of him, eyes scanning every inch of the photo: it was you with another male, another neurologist, he assumed. You and the male were in lab coats, holding up two of the neuromod guns with massive smiles on your faces. You noticed his eyes were on the photo and followed his gaze to it, thinning your lips to a line and softening your eyes, “He looks like a puppy.” 
You let out a breathy laugh and forced yourself to look away from it and take a seat at your desk, “He was known for being Astra 1’s puppy for a reason.” 
No matter how hard Sunghoon tried to put the male's face through his memory, nothing came up. He silently cursed to himself and decided he wasn’t going to rack his brain trying to remember. It only made him feel more like shit anyway. 
So he stood behind you at your desk, placing his hands onto the back of your chair and leaning forward, being nearly inches away from his chest touching your back, “You going to tell me why you’re using a neuromod to store data that isn’t a living things psyche?”
You held up the neurogun, pressing the trigger and watching the three prongs shoot from the barrel and loving the way Sunghoon flinched from the corner of your eye. He may not remember how painful those things had to have felt being injected into his body and he sure as hell doesn’t want to remember it. 
“It was the closest thing to a hard drive to put the data on that wouldn’t draw suspicions, obviously.” 
The fuck did this woman get her attitude from?
Sunghoon sighed, “You do remember I’ve had my memory wiped over and over again, right? I don’t know what it is I’ve done to piss you off, but I apologize, okay?” 
You swallowed and kept your eyes locked onto the laptop as it booted up, “Everyone thought you were dead.” 
Especially me. 
And that’s all you left it at and Sunghoon didn’t press it further, digging his nails into the cushion of your chair, “It was a smart idea, transferring the data into a mod.” 
You formed a small smile, “I know. I created the mods, to begin with, I know what they can do.” 
Sunghoon chuckled and rolled his eyes, his heart once again pulling to you and he unknowingly shifted forward, his chest barely grazing your back. You pulled up the bracelet tracking software and then inserted the prongs into the side of the laptop where the custom holes you created for it. It took a few seconds for it to process open and once it did, the entire list of staff and prisoners rolled up. 
His heart nearly stopped and his lips parted at the first two names on the list. 
𝖠𝖲𝖳𝖱𝖠 1 𝖤𝖬𝖯𝖫𝖮𝖸𝖤𝖤 𝖡𝖱𝖠𝖢𝖤𝖫𝖤𝖳 # 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖢𝖤𝖮: 𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖪 𝖲𝖴𝖭𝖦𝖧𝖮𝖮𝖭: #20021208 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖴𝖲/𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖴𝖭𝖪𝖭𝖮𝖶𝖭.  𝖫𝖤𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖤𝖲𝖤𝖴𝖭𝖦: #20011015 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖴𝖲/𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖴𝖭𝖪𝖭𝖮𝖶𝖭. 
Sunghoon’s mouth went dry as he stared at Heeseung’s unknown location, hands trembling against your chair, “You can turn his bracelet on, right?” 
You slowly nodded, “Yes,” you turned your face to look at him, seeing how he bit down on his lower lip with a look of desperation on his face. That look…that scared and worried and frustrated look was the same one you had when Sunghoon went missing. To this day you never figured out what happened to his bracelet or where the location of it even is. Nothing worked to turn it back on, meaning it was completely destroyed. It was the whole reason you thought he was dead to begin with, “But I need you to prepare yourself just in case it doesn’t turn on.” 
Sunghoon didn’t want to have to prepare himself, didn’t want to even put the thought in his head that his best friend could be long gone, “Please, YN, just…just check.” 
You faced back to the laptop and moved the cursor to hover over Heeseung’s tracking number then worked your magic into hacking the software on his bracelet and bypassing the mainframes. You bite down on your tongue, praying once you access the inner parts of it…then…
𝖫𝖤𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖤𝖲𝖤𝖴𝖭𝖦: #20011015 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖴𝖲/𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖮𝖭𝖫𝖨𝖭𝖤: 𝖢𝖱𝖤𝖶 𝖰𝖴𝖠𝖱𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖲 𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖪𝖤𝖱 𝖱𝖮𝖮𝖬. 
The gasp of relief escaped his mouth as he flung his head down and to the side, resting his forehead against your temple, “You found him.” 
You stiffened, opening your mouth to speak but shutting it closed. You couldn’t bring yourself to bring his hopes down that there was still a possibility that…
So you gently shoved him away and stood up, “Let’s go check out the locker room and see what we find.”’
Sunghoon could see it written on your face on what you’re thinking, but he still had that hope regardless. His best friend could be alive. So he hoisted his shotgun up and followed you out of the room. 
Leading the way to the locker room was a short trip across the crew quarters, passing a set of stairs off to your left. Sunghoon’s footsteps fell quietly behind you, turning around to see him staring up at the stairs and to the doors. 
“Sunghoon?” you whispered to him. He slowly just looks back at you. How can he tell you something is drawing him up those stairs? Beckoning him? He chose to fall right back into step behind you. He needs to find Heeseung first. 
The main door to the locker rooms split off into the women’s going to the right, and men’s towards the left. You point your finger to the left, telling him that is the direction of Heeseung’s bracelet. With a deep breath, Sunghoon stepped through the door frame, shotgun pointing forward as he carefully walked in. 
The locker room was dark with one singular light flickering in the middle. A small droplet of water dripped down from a broken sink, echoing the room along with a sound of…heavy breathing?
Sunghoon’s heart pounded, walking faster past each row of lockers until reaching the end, seeing another person hunched over on the floor, their hands tangled into their hair on the back of the head. Mumbles escaped their lips as their entire body shuddered. 
“Heeseung?” Sunghoon whispered, lowering his weapon and reaching a hand out toward the male, “Hee?” 
Before Sunghoon could even touch the man, he quickly whipped around eyes wide and tears streaming down his face, “H-help me,” he mumbled. Sunghoon immediately recognized the male. Astra 1’s puppy. 
“Jake!” you whispered, trying to rush to your best friend but Sunghoon stopped you. His arm wrapped around your waist and yanked you back, “Let go!” you quickly snapped. 
“Something ain’t right!” he snapped back, lifting the shotgun and keeping it pointed at Jake, “Look at him!”’
So you did, seeing the way Jake’s body twisted and twitched. How his eyes were red and pupils were blown. 
“YN,” Jake cried, his aura changing as he stood up, his fingers gripping to the bench in front of him as if to stop him from fully standing, “Get out of here,” he begged, pleading with you both with his eyes, “Now.”’
Your fingers gripped into Sunghoon’s suit, “Jake…”’
“He’s under mind control,” Sunghoon glanced away from Jake and to the floor, “A telepath is around here.” 
As if it was beckoning him, Sunghoon glanced back up at Jake and to his wrists, seeing two tracking brackets. One look was all it took for Sunghoon to realize one of them belonged to his best friend. 
“Why do you have Heeseung’s bracelet?!” Sunghoon snapped and all Jake replied with was a hushed breath, begging once again for them to leave. 
“It knows you’re here,” Jake cried, still trying to fight the mind control, “You need to—“ and then his body stopped twitching, arms falling to his sides and head falling forward just to slowly lift a bit, eyes beating up at the two of you, the corner of his lip twitched and one more tear fell down his face, “Kill me. Please.”’
Not a second passed after those words and Jake was rushing forward. Sunghoon quickly flung you behind him, both hands gripping the shotgun, “Jake!!” he shouted, rushing backward as quickly as he could to stay out of the male's grasp. Who knew what would happen if he got ahold of either of you, mostly with a telepath somewhere in hiding. 
“KILL ME!” Jake was screaming now, his movements getting faster but his eyes stayed begging. Sunghoon couldn’t do it. How could he end another human's life? He clearly worked alongside this man before his memory was wiped. He couldn’t do it, “Dr. Park! Please!” 
I can’t do this. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. 
But you could. 
The realization hit you all too late that: 
You left your shotgun back in your room. 
Jake was going to die anyway. 
The Telepath wasn’t going to allow Jake to live much longer, and by how red his eyes were…Jake was already crossing that thin line between life and death. 
So with tears in your eyes, you snatched Sunghoon’s weapon, pointed it directly at your best friend, and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Jakey,” and you pulled the trigger. You could have sworn you saw a glint sparkling in those red eyes as his body went limp and fell to the floor, his blood pooling around him. 
Sunghoon immediately twisted you around and pressed your body against his, shielding you away from what you just had done, wrapping his arms so tightly against your frame. But it was too late. The image of the hole you just put between the eyes of your best friend’s head was stapled to your brain. 
Jake was dead. You murdered him. 
Your body shook as the tears kept flooding out. Sunghoon’s grip on you becomes tighter and one hand connects to the back of your head, “YN…” It was all he could say. Nothing but your name leaving his lips. No words would make this right or what you did to fade off into existence. 
You pulled yourself away from Sunghoon, staring deeply into his eyes, seeing the same hurt staring back at you. Seeing how he also was accepting the painful truth: His best friend more than likely is also dead. 
A scream then erupted deep within the locker room. Multiple sounds of footsteps echoing and rushing. 
Your eyes widened, “The telepath is sending everyone it has control over to us!” 
You needed to get out of here and fast. Without so much as another thought, Sunghoon’s hand was wrapped in yours and leading you out of the locker room. You both were barely out and back into the brightness of the crew quarters just to be met with multiple humans under the control rushing towards you from almost every direction. 
Those stairs. 
Sunghoon kept his grip on your hand tight and ran, “We need to get to those stairs!” You knew where those stairs led and knew the safety they held. Rushing Sunghoon to run faster. 
He took two steps at a time, eyes locking onto the first door he saw, barely catching the nameplate. 
DR. LEE HEESEUNG. 
The screams and shouts from the mind control humans were gaining on them, Sunghoon fumbling with the door and noticing…”IT’S FUCKING LOCKED!!” 
You quickly reached around him, typed the code in, and shoved the door open, “FUCKING MOVE!!” you yelled, shoving him inside and relocking the door behind you.
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You both sat on opposite walls of each other, heads resting on the wall and lips between your teeth to keep any sound from escaping. The sounds of the mind-controlled more than likely drew in every type of Typhon in the area or nearby in this direction. And now it was a waiting game. 
How much time has passed? Thirty minutes? An hour? Sunghoon couldn’t be so sure. And it wasn’t until the echoing of the mind-controlled started to fade that either of you felt brave enough to move. You unlocked the door and barely slid it open, peeking your head out just enough to see not a soul walking the area. Nor human or Typhon. You quickly closed the door and relocked it, slowly turning to Sunghoon. 
He stood by the nightstand table, a photo frame of himself and Heeseung as children sat atop it. You wanted to speak but didn’t have a clue what to say. He just found out his best friend is more than likely dead. What words could be said at this moment? 
“Do you have any idea as to why Jake had Heeseung’s bracelet?” 
His words cut like ice and you had to remind yourself he was hurting, “No, I didn’t,” you swallowed and stood a few steps towards him, “I didn’t even know Jake was still alive.” 
Which was true. After the second outbreak, every employee and crew mate kind of just…went where they could. You’ve tried tracking down Jake’s bracelet too, it showed movement for a couple of days until it eventually stopped. You assumed he was dead, and left the safety of your room knowing damn well the moment you left the crew quarters you’d not be able to return without your lost key. 
Sunghoon slowly set the photo frame face down and let out a painful exhale. It broke you seeing him like this, “Sunghoon…” You walked behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, and rested your head against his back, “I am so sorry.” 
He tilted his head up and quickly blinked away the tears that were forming. Heeseung was gone. He lost his best friend. Your sniffles brought Sunghoon back to reality and quickly twisted himself around to hold you to him, “Hey,” he whispered, pressing your face to his shoulder, “It’s okay,” he knew it wasn’t okay, that it wouldn’t ever be. Not after what you had to do. 
You pushed yourself from him and rubbed your eyes with the back of your gloved hands, “Let’s just search this room while we are here. Maybe you can find clues or something.” You weren’t sure what exactly you’d find here, but all you could hope for was Sunghoon finding some sort of peace. 
So you both got to looking, finding pretty much nothing outside the ordinary. A bunch of neurology books and records of patients are on the bookshelves. Any photo on the wall didn’t have any hidden compartment like yours did. Nothing under the bed or table. The last place to look was his desk. 
Sunghoon sat down at the desk, staring at the login screen on the monitor. His fingers hovered over the keyboard and his lips trembled. It angered him how he couldn’t for the life of him remember what Heeseung could possibly use as his password. 
You noticed this, reaching over his shoulders and typing in the password, and hitting enter. Sunghoon quickly wiped his head to you, “How do you know Heeseung’s password? You knew the one for the door too.”’
You didn’t know how to answer this but went with, “It’s kind of important to know all the passkeys around here,” you looked away from him and towards the monitor, “Mostly after the outbreak and over half the crew is either dead or missing.” 
“How, YN.” 
How could you tell him? 
Sunghoon shook his head and turned back to the monitor, deciding to dismiss the conversation and search through Heeseung’s computer. He was thankful for you and for you knowing every password. He might finally get more answers about Heeseung. 
And thank whatever god was listening that Sunghoon seemed to know how to navigate this computer, being it’s the same exact software back at the company building on Earth. 
There too, was nothing out of the ordinary on the computer so far. Just records of patients and some notes on neuromods and the prisoners and Typhon. Nothing that stood out. Until Sunghoon came across a folder that was clearly out of place, “What the fuck…” he mumbles, clicking the folder and a bunch of videos popping up. 
“He made video vlogs?” you question, leaning further over Sunghoon’s shoulder, “Was he the type to make vlogs?” 
Sunghoon shook his head, “I’ve never seen him make one.” 
You looked at the dates on the videos, seeing they started back on the opening day of the station, “Scroll to the bottom,” Sunghoon listened and stopped at the bottom. Your lips parted at the dates of the last three videos, “Those are the dates of before you went missing and a month after.” 
That’s all it took for Sunghoon to click the first video. 
The video started with Heeseung adjusting the camera with a goofy look of concentration on his face, Sunghoon couldn’t help but chuckle. “So,” he started, sitting back in his chair, “Sunghoon had another outburst today,” Heeseung rubbed his hands against his eyes, Sunghoon took notice of the bracelet on his wrist, his tracking bracelet, “I tried to convince them to shut the trials down. That we needed more time to research this. But those damn scientists act like they know MORE than me as if I didn’t slave my life away to get my degree,” he sighed and dropped his hands into his lap, eyes wandering to the door, “They won’t let me see Sunghoon. Completely closed off the area to the labs and denied my key access to getting in.” Heeseung locked his jaw and looked back into the camera, “As if I’m not their BOSS and sign their fucking paychecks every two weeks. Fuck’em!” There was a knock at his door and he stood from the chair, the sounds of a door opening and closing echoed, and then Heeseung dropped himself back into the chair with Jake appearing behind him. 
Your heart nearly stopped, what was Jake doing there?
Jake raised his brows at the camera, “Bro, you vlog?” Heeseung slapped Jake’s chest, both of them smiling wide, “Fuck off! It’s just a way to keep records and to talk.” Jake chuckled, “You know we have a therapist on the station right?” The two males ruffled around, “Anyway!” Heeseung said with one last shove of Jake, “Did you bring what I asked?” Jake frowned, “Yes, but I don’t think this is a good idea.” Heeseung stared at the camera, “Lemme see it.” Jake sighed and moved off to the side of the desk and then came back into the frame. Both your and Sunghoon’s hearts dropped. A neuromod was in Jake’s hand. 
Sunghoon quickly looked at you, seeing the same shock he had written all over your face, “Jakey,” you whispered, “What did you do.” 
Heeseung took the neuromod from Jake and examined it in his hands, “Thank you. And it has exactly what I asked for?” Jake nodded, biting at the skin on his lips, “Hee, maybe we need to rethink this. You’ve seen what these things have done to Sunghoon.” Heeseung didn’t take his eyes off the mod, clicking the trigger and watching the pongs push out, “We won’t get the results we want if Sunghoon is the only one sacrificing himself every single day!” he looked up at Jake, “I have a theory, and if this works we can recover the memories those asshats keep stripping from Sunghoon. It’s probably why he keeps having outbursts.” Jake’s eyes glanced at the camera, “And what does YN think about this?” 
Your body went cold at your name being mentioned and you didn’t miss how Sunghoon’s hand on the mouse twitched at your name being said too. 
Heeseung swallowed and looked down at his lap, “She doesn’t know. And we won’t tell her.” Jake shook his head, “You can’t keep this from her!” Jake slapped his fist into the desk, the aggression not affecting Heeseung one bit, “She has a right! Mostly if it affects Sunghoon!” Heeseung lifted his eyes up to the camera, “We aren’t telling her, and that’s final.” Jake looked to the other side of the room, “Fine. But if shit goes south I WILL tell her.” Heeseung nodded, “I have another request of you before you leave,” Jake tilted his head, clearly waiting for his instructions, “I’m going to disable my bracelet. I need you to dispose of it.” By the look on Jake’s face, he disagreed, “Heeseung—“ Heeseung didn’t wait for Jake to finish, “I need to be able to walk freely without them on my fucking ass. Please.” Jake nodded but clearly didn’t like it. The males worked together to get the bracelet off and disable it from the other side. Once it was finished, Jake shoved the bracelet into his pocket, “I need to go, they are fixing to prepare a phantom for a trial, I need to be there.” Heeseung nodded, and without another word, Jake left. Heeseung pulled himself closer to the desk, “I’m praying this works, and if it does…” He swallowed, “I can save my best friend and shut this shit down.” Heeseung lifted the neuromod up, facing the pongs towards his right eye, “Here goes nothing.” 
You barely were able to look away in time of Heeseung shoving the pongs into his eye socket. But Sunghoon kept his eyes glued to the screen, watching his friend torture himself and letting out screams of pain as a small stream of blood ran from the socket. Listening to the video was bad enough, you could only imagine what Sunghoon was currently thinking. 
Heeseung yanked the pongs from his eye and closed it tightly and reaching for a towel that sat at the corner of his bed and pressed it to his eye, “Fuck that hurts!” he said through gritted teeth, “How the fuck does Sunghoon do this?” Heeseung then opened his drawer to the desk and tossed the neuromod inside, slamming it shut. 
Sunghoon was quick to reach his hand over to the handle of the drawer and fling it open. His heart dropped at what he found: multiple neuromods with their pongs out sitting in the drawer. Sunghoon counted over twelve. 
Heeseung…what the fuck did you do?!
Heeseung stared into the camera, reaching his free hand up and grasping it, “Godspeed.” Then the screen went black. 
Sunghoon quickly exited out of the video and clicked the second one. 
Heeseung once again was sitting at the desk, his favorite black Prada tee shirt was stained, and Sunghoon assumed it was stained with blood. Heeseung lifted his eyes up to the camera, his right eye slightly red, “I’ve used about…six? Yeah six neuromods so far,” he leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk, “This phantom's psyche that I have consistently shoved into my eye socket…it’s a smart one. I can hear its voice. It showed me its past memories,” Heeseung leaned back into the chair and lifted up his right arm, “It has even granted me its gifts,” Then his arm shifted, turning from a normal human arm into one of a phantom’s, turning the color of the shiny black and twisting and pulsating. Heeseung was unfazed as he looked down at his arm and then returned it back to normal. “The phantom has even accessed parts of my memory that I have forgotten. This will work, or would have worked,” He dropped his arm into his lap, “There’s been an outbreak, two actually. The first was contained, the second…” He swallowed, “I need to get to Sunghoon. Fast. The scientists abandoned him down in the labs but the Typhon got to them before they could escape, trapping them inside.” Heeseung licked at the side of his lips, “Before the first outbreak, Sunghoon left a video message for himself and I helped him set everything up…it…it was the last time I was allowed to see him before the final trial they put him through. I need to get to Nov and see if we can’t hack into the doors and get them open so I can get Hoon out. The only problem is the Typhon running around. I’ll have to sneak around.” Heeseung pushed himself away from the desk and grabbed a briefcase, “Jake, if you see this video at any point, I am sorry. I stole more neuromods without you knowing,” he set down the briefcase, “YN, if you see this, I apologize for failing and breaking our promise of keeping Sunghoon safe. I don't know where you are on this station, but I pray to whatever god is listening that you use all the passkeys I’ve given you to get off this damned ship and take Jake with you.” 
You clenched your gloved hands onto the part of your suit at your pant leg, eyes glancing down at Sunghoon, “He gave you all the passwords?” Sunghoon felt more confused than he did before. 
“Also, YN, I’m the one who stole your keycard, they disabled mine again after you helped me re-enable it. So I took it to use and blamed Jay for it, it just happened to be a silly act of fate that he ended up taking it from me before being put back behind bars.” You bit at your lip and looked away from the screen, “Lastly Sunghoon, I am so sorry man, for letting you go through these trials. For not trying hard enough to stop them. I know I said all this when I saw you last, but I am truly so fucking sorry.” Tears fell down his best friend's face but quickly brushed them off, “I will get you out of that lab. I need to get to your office and reboot Nov.” The video ended there. 
Sunghoon didn’t miss a beat when clicking the last video. Heeseung was now in the trauma center, his right eye bloodshot red and his dark hair dripping with sweat, “I failed,” were the first words he said, his red space suit he was now wearing was torn, his nametag barely legible, “The Typhon…the phantom…in my brain…it’s taking control.” Heeseung dropped his head into his palms, “I tried to control it, thinking if I stayed in control and reminded it whose body it’s in that it would listen but…” Heeseung dropped his hands, parts of his face spotting the Typhon’s skin, his left eye completely turning from its brown to dark purple, “I can’t control it. We made a mistake using these creatures.” Heeseung glances at the door, “I hacked into a turret and used the last neuromod I had to give it the phantom’s DNA…MY DNA…” He swallows, “The phantom will take over my mind and body. I can’t take any chances.” Tears fell down Heeseung’s face and this time he didn’t stop them, “Sunghoon…I’m sorry. If you wake up…I sent Nov to leave notes that you wrote for yourself and had him drop them off around the station. I reprogrammed his system to only tell you the important details then erased his memory of seeing me. It’s what is for the best…mostly since…I won’t exist much longer.” 
Sunghoon’s hands were trembling…the phantom in the trauma center… it was Heeseung. That’s why Sunghoon felt so compelled to go there. The trials Sunghoon underwent were the Typhon’s psyche being placed and removed over and over again, it all made sense why he was able to hear the Typhon speak to him. Why he could hear Jay. Sunghoon still had a bit of their psyche left in his brain. 
“I will send this vlog to my computer and pray you find it, Sunghoon. I love you man…so much, thank you for growing up with me. For being my best friend and brother. See you on the other side.” 
Sunghoon shook his head, “No…” Heeseung’s features slowly started to shift and then the video ended. His best friend was gone. Forever. 
Sunghoon slowly stood from the chair and pulled you into his arms. His whole body was shaking, “We need to get off this station.” 
You nodded into his shoulder, “We need to survive, for Jake and Heeseung.” 
Once Sunghoon stopped shaking, you convinced him to go to the escape pods and make sure the other survivors got on and left so you both could go to the power plant and shut this station once and for all. For Jake. For Heeseung. And for all the innocent people who lost their lives working on this damned station. 
He followed you out of Heeseung’s room, watching carefully as you started to walk away, but stopped and turned to him, “What’s wrong?” 
Sunghoon turned and looked at the door beside Heeseung’s, DR. PARK SUNGHOON was written on the door plate, “I want to see what’s in my room.” Sunghoon obviously had more questions and more curiosity about the memories that were taken from him. Maybe he left vlogs like Heeseung did. Maybe there are records of all that happened to him. Literally anything. 
“Sunghoon—“
“YN, please.” 
You slowly walked past him and stopped in front of the door, fingers trembling as you typed his passcode into the panel, the click of the door stopping your heart. You stepped to the side, letting Sunghoon be the one to walk inside first. 
With a deep breath, Sunghoon pushed the door open and walked in, you following behind and closing the door behind you, resting your body against the door. The first thing he noticed was the workbench in the corner, pieces of what seemed to be the same material that Nov was made out of, along with a broken neuromod. This is where he created Nov. He walked to the middle of the room and looked at his bed and then the nightstand, seeing a photo frame sitting there. He furrowed his brows as he picked it up. Sunghoon stood in the middle of the photo, Heeseung was to his right, you to his left along with Jake at your left. Each of you was holding up a red solo cup and the background looked like what seemed to be a bar area on the station, “We were all friends, weren’t we?” You stayed silent, watching him with saddened eyes. Sunghoon noticed how close you were standing next to him, how his arm was wrapped around you, and the way you leaned into him. 
He set the photo down and looked at his computer desk, more photos sat by the monitors and even hung on the walls above them. Sunghoon slowly walked over, his heart pounding at the images. There were some of him and Heeseung. A few of him and Jake. But most of them consisted of you. You and him. Sunghoon traced his eyes over each photo, seeing all the memories he lost. Each photo of you and him held so much…love. The way he kissed your cheek in one photo. The way he held you to his chest in his bed in the other. The way you held your hands in his. One of the two of you in your lab coats and doing a silly pose. And then the last one…was just of your hands…matching rings placed on both your middle fingers. 
Sunghoon placed his fingers over his gloved hand, feeling the metal still there. He looked over to you, “We were together, weren’t we?” 
You mimicked his motion, and felt for the matching ring that sat on your middle finger, “We were, yes,” you blinked away the tears that formed and weakly smiled, “You told me you wanted to marry me the minute we landed back on Earth,” you looked down at your gloved hand, “So you made these matching rings as a promise that you’d switch it over to the right finger once our feet touched the ground.” 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sunghoon took a step towards you, afraid he’d overstep if he got too close. 
You met his eyes, “I thought you were dead. How could I tell the person I love that we were in a relationship without confusing him further after finding out all you have in this short time?” you broke eye contact again, looking to the floor, “It took everything in me to not rush to you when you appeared down in the greenhouse. I had to remind myself what was done to you. I wanted…” 
Sunghoon rushed to you, cupping your face between his hands and forcing you to look up at him, “I’ve felt this pull towards you since I laid my eyes on you,” tears now swelled in his eyes, “And I fucking hate myself for forgetting someone so important to me.” 
Sunghoon couldn’t explain it, but he knew he loved you. Even with all the memories stripped from him. He could feel the love you had for him radiating and knew that same amount of love resided within him too. 
Tears filled your eyes now too as you stared deeply into his, “Shhh,” he whispered, wiping his thumb against your eye, “I am right here, baby.” 
“I thought you were dead,” you couldn’t stop the tears from falling now, “I thought I lost you, I—“ 
Sunghoon pressed his body against yours, “I am right here, shhh baby, don’t cry I am right here.” Without hesitation, he crashed his lips to yours, sliding his hands down to your waist, “I am right here.” 
Three months. Three long months without him. With thinking he no longer existed in this world. Without touching him. You didn’t know what came over you, but you took advantage of this moment. Deepening the kiss and pulling him as close as possible against you. Sunghoon couldn’t get enough of you, every ounce of love poured out of him at this moment. His hands slid back up your body and gripped at the zipper of your suit at the same time as your fingers fumbled with his zipper, both of you pulling it down. You reached your hands into the suit at his shoulders and slid your hands down across his white tank top, the leather of the suit at your fingertips sending chills down his spine and oh god he couldn’t wait to actually feel your skin against his. 
You pulled the suit down his shoulders and arms, him pulling leather off his arms and dropping it at his waist, hands flying back to your now exposed waist and sliding them up, groaning at how your skin felt against his skin. His hands kept moving up, cupping your clothed breasts before pushing them up to your shoulders and pulling your suit off to expose your blue tank top and bare arms. Once it pooled at your hips, Sunghoon pressed himself further against you, taking in the feeling of you. He wanted more. Needed more. 
He grabbed your hands and placed them on his chest, moving them down his torso and stopping at the ends of his tank. You took care of the rest. Looping your fingers underneath the fabric and sliding your hands back up, grazing your fingers over his toned body as you dragged the tank up and over his head, disposing of it somewhere in the room. 
Sunghoon was losing his mind at your touch. Cursing himself more and more for forgetting the taste of you. For forgetting how perfectly your body connected with his. For forgetting you. 
You pulled the rest of his suit down, leaving him now in nothing but his boxers. You fought with the rest of your suit, Sunghoon’s hands making quick work to pull you off the wall and shoving the suit down and pressing you back against the wall, hands now removing your tank and bra then looping his fingers at your panties and removing them, leaving you completely bare to him. 
He tucked your lip between his teeth and pulled, loving the gasp of pleasure that escaped out your mouth, rubbing his clothed cock against your folds, “Let me have you,” he said after releasing your lip, his thumbs tucking into his boxers, “Baby, I want to feel you.” 
And oh god you needed to feel him. Your eager hands pulled down his boxers for him then placed your hands on his shoulder and lifted one leg up to his hip and did a small jump, Sunghoon catching you and wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, his tip prodding your entrance. 
Sunghoon stared deeply into your eyes as he lowered you down, his cock stretching you perfectly. You threw your head back against the wall, relishing in the pure bliss of feeling him deep inside you again after so long. Sunghoon might not remember the first time he’s fucked you, but he won’t forget this time. He’s going to fuck you to the point the memory and your sounds get burned into his brain. 
He pressed you harder against the wall, snapping his hips at a primal rate against your skin. He connected his lips back to yours, tongue licking at the inside of your mouth, not leaving a single inch of it untouched. Your hands slid from his shoulder and up to the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling. Sunghoon released his mouth from yours to moan at the grip you had on his hair, relishing in the sensation of each tuck you made, “Fuckkkk,” he lowered his head into your neck, “You really know how to work my body.”
You tilted your head at the touch of his lips to your neck and hissing as his teeth took your skin into his mouth and sucked, “And you haven’t forgotten how to work mine.” 
Sunghoon licked at the now purple mark on your neck, loving how good you tasted on his tongue. His breathing became uneven as he lost himself to the pleasure your cunt gave him, hips stuttering. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, not with how tight you hugged his cock. 
“Baby,” he moans against your neck, “I’m not going to last much longer,” you felt his cock twitch and his hold on you becoming loose. 
Without another word, you went from being pressed to the wall to being pressed to his bed. Your legs are now being moved from his waist to over his shoulders, your thighs pressing against your chest. 
“Ughhh fucccckkkkk,” he groans, flinging his head back at how much deeper he is now inside you in this new position. His cock kissed your cervix with each thrust he made. You also weren’t going to last very long, not with how he fucked into you. 
“Hoonie,” you whine, digging your nails into his back, “I’m cumming,”
“Shit baby, me too.” 
You latched your lips onto his shoulder and bit down as your orgasm flooded out, coating his cock with your juices. He hissed at how much harder you bit down, making him see stars with the final thrust, his seed painting your gummy walls. 
But he couldn’t stop moving, wanting to relish in the feeling of you as much as possible, even if it was overstimulating you both, “I love you,” he whined, finally dropping his weight on top of you, lips pressing to your temple, “I love you.” 
You slid your hands down his biceps, eyes looking at the ring on your middle finger and tears swelled your eyes once more, “I love you too, please don’t ever forget that.”
Sunghoon rested his forehead against yours, “I won’t baby. I won’t ever forget again.” 
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You weren’t sure exactly how much time had passed, but you also didn’t seem to care. Not when there was so much lost time to make up between you and Sunghoon. 
Mostly not caring because of the way Sunghoon had flipped you over not even twenty minutes after the first round and had your face pressed into the pillows and pounding into you from behind. 
Sunghoon couldn’t help it. His love for you was pouring out and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The way you felt wrapped around him exceeded every ounce of pleasure he could have imagined. He just wanted to love on you in every way possible, and right now that was fucking you like tomorrow wasn’t promised. 
Both of you were cased in sweat mixed with both your legs sticky from the number of times he’d made you cum alongside him. Even once you both finally got out of bed and into the shower to clean yourselves off, Sunghoon had your back pressed to the cool tile wall. Rocking his hips against yours slowly as his hands explored every inch of your body and his mouth brushed on yours with soft moans escaping his lips. 
It took a lot of you convincing him after cumming once again that there was still work to be done and to finally clean up. He pouted but nevertheless listened to you.
With both your suits now zipped back and weapons in hand, it was time to move forward. 
“Next stop is the power plant?” Sunghoon asked, closing the door to his room behind him, taking one last long look at Heeseung’s door as you both walked past. 
You turned and looked at him, seeing the sadness back in his eyes, “We’ll send the survivors out on the escape pods first and get them off this station. Then the next stop is the power plant.” 
Sunghoon nodded, finally drifting his eyes off his best friend's door, and placed his hand on your lower back, fingers slightly digging into the fabric of your suit, “Let’s get going then.” 
The walk to the bridge was quiet, only encountering a few mimics which was nothing either of you couldn’t handle. Sunghoon followed close behind you as you guided him back through the Arboretum and into an elevator taking you up. Sunghoon silently thanked whoever designed this station because this elevator had the perfect view of space as you ascended up. His lips slightly parted, completely blown away by how beautiful space truly was. 
You noticed how in awe he was, “The first time I ever saw you,” you started, gaining Sunghoon’s attention. You smiled and looked away from him, letting your eyes trace the stars, “You and Heeseung were looking at live photos of space back in the company building. You had that exact same look on your face.” 
You turned to face him once again, moving to stand right beside him, and as if on instinct, he reached his arm out to wrap around your waist and pull you close, his lips making purchase on the crown of your head, “What about when I first saw you?” 
You looked up at him, “You were an asshole when we first met.” 
Sunghoon chuckled, looking back out into the infinite space, “Sounds about right.” 
You hugged him close, “It didn’t take me long to get you to warm up to me once we boarded Astra 1.” You smiled at the memory, feeling like it just happened yesterday when it was a little over a year ago, “I just had to separate you from Heeseung first.” 
Another chuckle left his lips, “He was my best friend, we were practically attached at the hip.” 
You traced your gloved finger over the line of his jaw, “Trust me, I know.” You stood on your tippy toes and planted a kiss on his cheek, “You both were a package deal, just like Jake and I were.” 
Sunghoon tried to act like the word were wasn’t affecting him. How could he just get used to saying it in a past-tense way? He was pulled from his thoughts as the elevator windows finally got covered by parts of the station and came to a stop, the doors slowly opening. 
The hallway was dark, immediately forcing Sunghoon to quip both hands onto the shotgun, eyes double-checking that his handy wrench was still attached to his belt. Sunghoon slowly stepped off the elevator, eyes darting straight ahead, “Stay close to me, YN.” You stayed on his heels as you both trekked down the hall, a set of stairs going up, which he assumed was the bridge, and another going down, which he also assumed was the escape pods. And sure enough, he was right as a sign came into view pointing him in the direction he needed, heading directly down the stairs. 
As you both gained closer to the door, the voices of the survivors echoed into the hall softly. Once Sunghoon pushed the door open, all eyes were locked on him and you, especially Jay’s. 
𝚃𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑.
Sunghoon scowled at Jay, “We had important things to deal with!” 
Jay eyed Sunghoon up and down. 
𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝.
Sunghoon cocked his head to the side and stuck his tongue into his cheek. 
𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.
Jay clenched his fists, “Try me, Dr. Park.” 
Sunghoon lifted the shotgun, parting the sea of people between him and Jay, “I will blow your brains out along with this goddamn station! Shut your fucking mouth!” 
You rushed to him, gripping the barrel of the gun and pushing it down, “Sunghoon, that’s enough. Same to you Jay!” 
Both men scoffed but backed down. 
“Get in the pods,” Sunghoon finally spoke back up after a few minutes of silence, “Now.” Sunghoon instructed to keep the first pod free, wanting to have it as easy access once the station was set to explode and make it an easier escape for you and him. 
One by one, each survivor piled into the pods, and one by one, Sunghoon closed the hatch and sent the pods out. The final pod to prepare was Jay’s along with the remaining survivors. Sunghoon set the pod to be launched, taking one final look inside at Jay. 
“Tell your sister hi for me, ya?” 
Jay stood to his feet, “You son of a b—“ he was cut off by the pod's door closing and the hatch covering the pod before sending it out. 
You rolled your eyes, “Did you have to piss him off?” 
Sunghoon shrugged, placing his hand at your hip and moving you back towards the entrance, “He just irritates me.” 
You sigh, “Yeah, he irritated you even before your memory was wiped.” 
Which didn't surprise him at all. 
He shrugged again, “Let’s just go blow this motherfucker up, ya?” 
The descent to the bottom of the station was short but nerve-racking. Sunghoon couldn’t shake off the feeling that something very bad was lurking around. He couldn’t describe it, the eerie feeling he got once the elevator arrived at the power plant. It shook him to the core. 
“We’d have to override the system,” you said stepping out of the elevator, “It won’t be hard, but once it’s activated we’ll need to run—“ 
“Shh!” he quickly hushed, pointing his index finger to his lips, “Something doesn’t feel right.” 
You wanted to question him but stopped yourself after seeing the terrified look on his face. You’ve never seen him so scared, or ever scared at all. Something has to be wrong. 
You looked around the power plant, trying to find what Sunghoon was so desperately trying to find. The air grew thick as you too, couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad was lurking down here. And unfortunately, there were only two ways to go: either back up the elevator, or pass all this machinery and into the next room where you’d need to be heading anyway. 
Reaching out for his arm, you pulled him towards the office room to overrate the system, trying to be as quiet as possible. 
𐌉 𐋅𐌀ᕓ𐌄 𐌅o𐌵𐌍𐌃 𐌙o𐌵, 𐌌𐌙 𐌐𐌓𐌄𐌙.
A loud screech filled the room, forcing you and Sunghoon down to your knees and cupping your ears. Sunghoon being more affected than you as his voice almost matches the same pitch of the screech with his own screams. His throat went dry and his voice hoarse as his screams no longer erupted from his mouth. 
The screech stopped and something compelled Sunghoon to slowly turn his head, eyes widening. 
“What the fuck is that?!” He yelled, his whole body shaking and not being able to move. 
You crawled over to him and got to your feet, shoving your hands under his arms and forcing his trembling body up anyway, “A fucking nightmare! RUN!” 
The nightmare was the same height as the ceiling, his head barely scraping its surface. The thing had to be pushing eighteen—twenty feet. It looked exactly like a normal phantom, but huge. 
Sunghoon tried to reach for his shotgun, but you pulled him away all too quickly, “Leave it!” you screamed over the nightmare echoing out its screech but on a lower pitch, “That gun won’t do nothing for you!” 
So you both ran. The nightmare taking one step compared to your multiple, its arms reaching down, ready to grab you both. 
Almost there. Almost there. Just a few more steps. ALMOST THERE!!
And bless whatever idiot that was down here last and left the door unlocked, making the escape into the room easier. Once you both were in, you locked the door and hurried to the computer monitors, pressing your fingers away at the keys. 
Sunghoon dropped to the floor and hung his head low. He felt like he was going to be sick. This was it. It’s all over. 
The nightmare clawed at the wall and door, its screeches barely being muffled. 
“What…” Sunghoon swallowed, “What is that monster?” 
You kept your eyes locked into the monitor, “A nightmare, its sole purpose is to hunt its prey. It’s unknown how it was created or what even created it,” You looked back at him, then faced the monitor again, “Get up! I need your help!” 
Sunghoon couldn’t move no matter how badly he wanted to. 
𐌔𐌵𐌍Ᏽ𐋅oo𐌍. 𐌋𐌄𐌕 𐌌𐌄 𐌉𐌍.
He cupped his hands over his ears, “It knows my name.” 
You whip back around to him, “Sunghoon!” You snapped at him, his eyes locking with yours, “Please help me!” 
It took every ounce of strength for him to move, “What do you need me to do?” 
You pointed over to the panel, “Once I finish overriding the system, you’ll need to flip those three switches back to back. An alarm will sound off and it’ll push the nightmare away and off to somewhere else on the station or hopefully off it. It’ll also start the countdown until this place goes up in flames.” 
Sunghoon nodded, shaking his head and focusing on the switches in front of him. 
𐌔𐌵𐌍Ᏽ𐋅oo𐌍. 𐌋𐌄𐌕 𐌌𐌄 𐌉𐌍.
“SHUT UP!” He screamed, clenching his fists against the counter, “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” 
Those words alone were enough to prove your suspicions true: Sunghoon still had a neuromod attached to his brain. It made so much more sense on his reactions each time you’ve encountered a Typhon and even Jay. This was a matter to take care of once back on Earth. 
You kept your fingers moving until finally the override was completed, “Sunghoon! Now!” 
He flipped the switches and the alarm sounded not a second afterward. The nightmare let out a pained screech then everything went silent besides the alarm. 
“Come on,” you pulled on his arm, “We have fifteen minutes to get back to the escape pods.” 
But Sunghoon wouldn’t budge, “How does it know my name?” 
You swallowed, gripping your fingers tighter around his arm, “This isn’t the first time you’ve met it.” 
That’s all he wanted to know. All he needed to know. You could see it was all the information he wanted, so you pulled at him once again, his hand now reaching for yours and leading you to the door, “Let's get the fuck off this station.”
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Fifteen minutes. That’s all the time you both were given to make it from the bottom of the station to the top. It took five minutes for the elevator to reach the bridge. Three minutes to rush out of the elevator and to the escape pods. 
Seven minutes remain. 
The minute Sunghoon whipped around the corner to the pods, his hands got to work on the panel. Trying to work as quickly as possible to start up the pod. 
But something wasn’t right. 
Error code. After error code. After error code. 
Your eyes widened at the realization: this escape pod has been tampered with. 
Six minutes remain. 
“FUCK!” Sunghoon slammed his fist against the wall and then rushed his hands through his hair, stepping back from the panel and squeezing his eyes. After ruffling his hair, he rushed back to the panel, once again trying to set up the pod. 
“Sunghoon,” you touched his shoulder, “If we run fast enough we can make it to the shuttle bay and escape on one of the ships.” 
Five minutes remain. 
“We don’t have time!” he snapped, continuing to try and bypass the error codes, only for one last message to pop up on the screen before shit hit the fan: 
ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜ — ᴊ.
Sunghoon gritted his teeth. He knew he couldn’t trust Jay. Knew nothing good came from that man. Sunghoon should have held him as a hostage until this point. You looked down to the metal floor. 
“We need to—“ 
Just then the escape pod launched. Both your helmets automatically clipped over your heads to protect you from the infinite space. The panel door not closing after the pod launch. 
Time seemed to have slowed for Sunghoon, seeing you get pulled outside of the station along with him. He managed to grip a hold of a safety bar with one hand, and gripping the strap of your suit's belt with the other. 
Warning signs flashed on the hud of your helmets, warning about the lack of air and safety. 
You tried to remain calm as you gripped your hands onto Sunghoon’s arm, trying and failing to keep your tears at bay. You were terrified. And so was Sunghoon. 
“Keep a hold of me, YN!” he shouted, trying to use all his strength to pull himself back into the station, “I got you baby, don’t let go!” 
Sunghoon pulled himself close enough to plant one foot back onto the station, his foot then slipping and grip tightening on the bar. 
Don’t let go of her. Don’t let go of her. 
You stared through watery eyes at your lover, watching as he struggled to pull the weight of both of you. You both were going to die here if he couldn’t pull you both back in. You’d both die with this godforsaken station if something couldn’t be done right now. 
And that’s when you made your decision. 
Sunghoon’s left arm gripping the bar was getting weaker and weaker, you could see it. Even after he managed to plant his foot back on the station and hook his leg around the corner for better support, he’d still need to keep his left hand on that bar. 
“Baby, I need you to listen to me,” he said, voice shaking, “I need you to try and reach for the station, okay? YN are you listening to me?” 
You were listening. But you already had made your mind up. 
“YN!” 
“Let me go,” you said calmly, eyes locking deeply with his, “I need you to let me go.” 
Sunghoon quickly shook his head, “Are you fucking crazy! I’m not letting you go!! Pull your ass back into this station right now!!” 
You could see his grip was slipping. He was about to fall out into space with you. 
“Sunghoon,” you said, tears streaming down your face, “I need you to let me go and get to the shuttle bay and off this station.” 
He shook his head again, gripping his hand tighter at your belt, “I’m not letting you go!” tears swelled in his eyes, head shaking again, “I can’t lose you! I just found you…I can’t…” 
“Sunghoon.”
He ignored you, once again trying with all his strength to pull you back to the station, the air escaping the station was making it hard for him to keep his grip on not only you but the bar and leg wrapped around the corner, “Baby, please!” He begged, “Please, don’t leave me.” 
You slid your hands from his arm and placed them on top of his fingers, the tips of your fingers curling into his fist. 
“Astra commands,” you said, the menu pulling up on your hud.
Sunghoon furrows his brows, “What the fuck are you doing?” 
Your eyes glanced up to the number on the side of the station’s wall to indicate which escape pod was once there, “Close escape pod door thirty, on my command.” 
Sunghoon shook his head once again, “YN, stop!” 
He tried to pull up the commands as well, voice cracking with each word as he tried to disable your commands, but unfortunately, he couldn’t. 
“Should have never given me access to everything on the ship,” you said trying to lighten the mood in some way possible. 
The tears now fell down his cheeks, “This isn’t fucking funny! Pull yourself in! Please!” He couldn’t take his eyes off you, “I can’t lose you, too.” 
He would have lost everything if you continued down this path. He cursed Jay’s name for fucking with the last chance you and he had at survival. 
You pulled at his fingers, “I love you.” 
He continued to shake his head, “No, don’t say it as if it’s the last time.” 
You weakly smiled at him, “Please get to the shuttle bay, you need to survive.” 
“You need to survive too!!” 
One final tear jerked from your eye, “I love you, Park Sunghoon.” 
“I love you, too,” he cried, knowing nothing was going to change your mind but still fought against your fingers, “Baby, please.” 
“Close the door.” 
You quickly pulled his fingers from your belt and shoved his arm back. 
“NO!!!”
Before he could watch you float into the infinite space, the door closed, locking him on the station. 
His helmet retracted back. His heart pounded out of his chest as he balled his hands into fists and repeatedly hit them against the door. Nothing came out of his mouth besides his screams. 
He didn't know how much time he had left nor did he even care. You were gone. The last important thing to him was gone. 
He tired himself out from screaming, dropping himself to the floor and hunched over. He lost control of his own station and company. He lost his memories. He lost his best friend. He lost the love of his life.
Sunghoon twisted himself around, resting his back and head against the wall, staring off into the distance and slowly closing his eyes. He made his decision: he wasn’t going to live without you. 
“Dr. Park.” 
“Go away,” Sunghoon opened his eyes to see the little white ball floating above him, “Leave me alone.”’
Nov tilted to its side, “My purpose is to make sure you follow throu—“ 
“This station is set to explode at any moment now, you kept your promise to the past me. Now leave me be.” 
Sunghoon knew Nov was just following directions he himself had given him, “I was created to also protect you, Dr. Park.” 
Sunghoon stared up at the ceiling, “I want to be with them again. Please give this to me.” 
Nov said nothing as it floated its small body down to his side, resting against his thigh. 
Sunghoon took a deep breath in, picturing the photo back in his bedroom of him, you, Heeseung, and Jake. The three people that meant the most to him even if he doesn’t fully remember it all. He pictured the photos that hung on his wall, all the memories he’d made with you, and the promise of how he was going to marry you once back on Earth. A promise he wouldn’t be able to keep. 
The only promise he could keep was never to forget you again. He’d die knowing that. 
The alarm of the station finally stopped as a tear ran down his face and he squeezed his eyes shut, “I’ll see you again soon, YN, Heeseung, and Jake. I’ll be there soon.” 
The corners of his lips curled as the last thing he felt was heat.
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intro | part one | part two
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— perm. tlist: @alvojake @ikeuverse @woniebae @shawnyle @jwnghyuns
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gatorbites-imagines · 3 months ago
Note
Daddy kink Wolverine x reader… just throwing that out there
Logan Howlett x Gambit variant male reader
Ficlet
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Reader is a Gambit variant, cuz I love Gambit… I have no idea how to write accents though, so you’ll just have to imagine it. This isn’t as long as my other ficlets, but I just needed to get it out my system. There is also no outright written smut, but you guys will live.
Deadpool and wolverine spoilers ahead
Two Gambits was an experience, any member of your small resistance in the void could back said claim. Most of the time none of them could pick up on what you and Remy were talking about, since you both slid into your mother tongue on most occasions. Unlike Remy, you had had a life before being thrown into the Void. Apparently, you were only meant to be the horseman of death for a while before returning to the Gambit, but instead you had become one with this new part of yourself, meaning you needed to be gotten rid of.
Your life sense, as an avatar of death, was what let Laura find Wade and Logan so easily, and how you guys could avoid Nova and her folks as well. Seeing Logans disregard for Remy and the rest had just made you laugh, speaking in the same accented voice as Remy, making Wade make even more comments about dialect coaches and tongue twisting. The only tongue twisting you were gonna do, would have to be a bit more intimate though, your sentence ended with a short wink shot Logans way.
Maybe it was nostalgia that had you picking on Logan the night before your big surprise attack on Nova. The original Logan from your universe had never been an X-men either, not for long at least, but he had always been in your circles. It had led to multiple rolls in the hay together, so to speak, but in the end, he had even sided with the X-men to take you and the other horsemen down. Thinking back, you could never figure out if he was sad to see you go, but part of you were happy to see him finally looking comfortable by the x-men’s side.
You were both pleasantly buzzed when you crawled into his lap, throwing your long coat and headgear to the ground as you got comfortable. His hands were so rough and calloused on your hips, Logans voice deep and growly as you smirked down at him. Who would have thought that the wolverine would be into being called daddy. The moment the word left your lips, just to be a tease about it, his pupils seemed to blow wide open and before you knew it, you found yourself on your back.
Grumbles of Cajun French left you as Logan ripped through your pants with that inhumane strength of his, looking half feral with that sneer on his lips. The ferocity lessened when that title left your lips again, hands settled on his sideburns as you murmured out accented begs, soft “daddy, daddy, daddy” passing your lips.
With how wild Logan had been acting in the beginning, you honestly thought hed fuck you like he hated you, like you were just stress relief. But to your shock, it became something more akin to lovemaking. Sure, he gripped your hips hard enough to leave dark bruises, and covered your neck and shoulders in enough hickeys to make even Remy blush, but he was surprisingly soft.
And every time that word left your lips, Logan just seemed to melt into it more and more, his usual growling and snarling more akin to a deep rumbled purr against your chin as he moved you as he pleased. It was so intimate, you almost teared up, and that soft almost vulnerable look on Logans face made you think maybe he felt that way too. He kissed like you were something special and precious instead of just another partner to warm his bed, something you had so rarely felt before.
Slumped together and spent made you wonder if this meant anything at all. Or were you two just fellow broken souls who’d lost everything and everybody, and who could only find comfort in another just as shattered person. Feeling Logans arms around you made you at least want to survive and see, who knew, maybe there was space for another Gambit wherever Logan was gonna go after this.
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sexydoffyman · 7 months ago
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Weird request but how would TF141+König and Alejandro react to meeting an orphan around 15 years of age who's like extremely talented in engineering, mathematics and physics, like they could build a rocket if they had the materials ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It can be HC, whatever you want! I was thinking maybe said orphan got in trouble with the government for unknowingly building some sort of weapon, maybe it was stolen? Twist that however you wish.
Just ignore this ask if you wanna <3
A KID?
genre: action
characters: König, Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Alejandro Vargas, Kyle Garrick
A/n: expect a lot more mistakes. Also thinking this needs a second part.
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It’s been 6 years now since the war began. You were left stranded. All by yourself. Left on your own by everyone. Living was hard, but you pulled through. You learned how to do a lot of shit since you were there only with yourself for some time. Building stuff. That was your biggest interest.
You were constantly making things. New weapons mostly. You were always moving, never staying in one place for too long. You got brutal throughout the years you were alone. You took the uniform of a dead soldier. To blend in. You were mistaken for a recruit and pulled inside a helicopter by a military dude.
The military was a great provider of food and healthcare. So you just went along with everything they threw at you. Your knowledge of building shit helped out a lot. And even when some dude figured out you were a kid he let you stay.
The same dude put you in a task force with a man he trusted. You were cautious of everyone in there, but at least you had some people who you could trust a bit.
You picked up how things work from the years of pretending to be a soldier. Pretending to be an adult was getting easier and the task force you were assigned to found a place in your heart.
“There’s gotta be a way.” You finally snapped out of thinking about life before the war. You thought that the military would be a great cover. But now all your hope of making it out alive hit zero. You were stuck and with gas slowly filling the room that you and the others were in you knew your chances of survival were low.
You sat in the corner of the room. You had given up a few minutes ago already. The others were still trying to figure something out.
Suddently you felt something inside of you snap. You were not gonna die today. It must’ve been the panicking of the rough men infront of you that made you have that feeling. You started to search for a solution.
You found a small vent. It was too small to fit a grown man in, but you were not a grown man. You took off your gear and crawled into the vent unnoticed by your team.
You finally got to use the skills you gained. You crawled through the vent and dropped down from the ceiling right on the other side of a door that the rest of your team was trying to open. You managed to get inside some kind of an electrical system. You cut some wires and reconnected some other ones. The door opened with a space in between the doors just a centimeter big.
Grabbing a metal piece from the electrical you prayed the door open. You were met with the looks of your crew. You looked down and put your hand above your forehead to block your face. By now all of them realized that you weren't of age.
You ran into the room to grab your gear while your team gave each other a disgusted glance. “We need to get out of here ASAP,” you said as you walked away from the room. Price grabbed you by the shoulder to stop you. You turned to him with your mask on now.
“How old are you?” he was looking at you worriedly while he said that. You didn’t know what to answer and so after a few stutters you answered “Classified” This only made them feel more curious.
It has been days since that mission and nobody brought up the fact that you were a kid. You did notice that Price stopped shouting orders at you and started just saying them in a normal calm tone. Soap was making more small talk with you than usual. Ghost was staying closer to you, knowing you might not be able to fend off an enemy. Gaz was making sure to double-check your gear.
When you teamed up with Mexican special forces and met Alejandro you were given tasks that you’d be on with multiple people.
When you were stranded from the team, finding your way to a spot they could locate you at, you met another dude. Austrian and huge. Big dude. He was your enemy, but it didn’t take him long to find out that an adult dude would have a little more strength than you did. He forced your mask off and found out that you were in fact a kid.
Instead of killing you, he spared you. Helping you locate your tram instead of them having to look for you.
Would you survive the next missions? That you don’t know. But you do know that you don’t have to worry about pretending to be an adult.
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hoe4hotchner · 2 months ago
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Drawer | [A.H]
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Gn!reader CW: Fluff. Haley is still alive in this one… but they're divorced and she's not mentioned, so don't worry about her. WC: 0.8k
This is part of #Teddy-ber hosted by @angellsell
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           The kitchen was quiet, save for the soft clinking of plates as you set the table. The sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow over the room, making everything feel cozy and safe. You glanced over at the small drawer beside the fridge, the one neither of you opened often, yet always ended up filling with random things. You smiled, shaking your head. The infamous junk drawer - every home had one, but yours and Aaron's had its own kind of charm.
           It all started off simple, as these things often do. A place for the odd rubber band, a spare battery, maybe a pen or two. But over time, it grew, much like your relationship with him, becoming a repository for memories, a snapshot of your life together in the most ordinary and yet extraordinary way.
           You wandered over to the drawer, giving in to the curiosity, and pulled it open. The first thing that caught your eye was a tiny, half-used notepad. You chuckled, remembering how Aaron had tried to create a system and used it to make a grocery list - once. His tidy handwriting took up the first half of the page: Apples, cereal, milk, eggs. The essentials. Then came your scribbles, messier but full of character: Chocolate, wine, ice cream. It was a small, unspoken dance between the two of you, his practicality meeting your indulgence. He’d teased you about your sweet tooth but always made sure to grab a bar of your favorite chocolate when he went to the store.
           Underneath the notepad was an old, crinkled paperclip. Nothing special at first glance, but you knew better. This particular clip had been straightened and twisted into some sort of abstract shape during one of Aaron’s late-night phone calls with the director. He had a habit of fiddling with things when he was deep in thought or conversation, his mind constantly running through strategies, cases, and plans. The paperclip had against all odds survived that night and ended up in the drawer, tossed in with the rest of the forgotten oddities.
           There was a small collection of mismatched pens, each one with a different origin story. One from the BAU, with the FBI logo fading from years of use. Another, much nicer, one with Rossi’s name engraved on the side - a Christmas gift that had mysteriously disappeared from Aaron’s desk only to reappear here. You smiled, remembering how Rossi had teased Aaron about it, accusing him of misplacing gifts as though they were case files.
           Digging a little deeper, you found a crumpled-up ticket stub. It was from a movie you and Aaron had seen early on in your relationship, on one of your rare date nights - some action thriller that neither of you had really been paying attention to. You had been too busy watching him try to relax and stop worrying about work. His arm curled around your shoulders as the tension slowly left his body. It was one of those evenings where he let himself enjoy life, and in that dark theater, you’d felt closer to him than ever. The ticket had ended up in his pocket, and then, eventually, in the drawer.
           You picked up an old keychain, shaped like a miniature Swiss Army knife. It was a gag gift from Morgan after a particularly tough case where Aaron somehow had managed to improvise his way out of a tricky situation (or so you'd been told) with nothing but a pen and a piece of string. Morgan had joked about Aaron being the new MacGyver, and the keychain had become a running joke between the two - until it, too, found its way into the drawer, no longer needed but still a significant memory.
           Near the back, half-buried under a mess of receipts and old to-do lists, you found something that made your heart swell - a small, child-sized sock. You chuckled softly, knowing exactly whose it was. Jack had spent the night a few weeks ago, and somehow, one of his socks had gone missing. You’d found it in the laundry and tossed it in the drawer, intending to return it but never getting around to it. The little sock was a reminder of the nights when Jack slept over, filling the house with his laughter and questions. Aaron was always softer when Jack was around, his face lighting up in ways that were rare for the composed man you knew.
           As you looked over the contents of the drawer, you realized that it was more than just a place for random objects. It was a reflection of your life with Aaron - the little moments that made up your days together, the way your personalities meshed in the most unexpected ways. His neatness contrasted with your occasional chaos, his seriousness balanced by your lightheartedness. And in the middle of it all, this drawer - a quiet testament to the life you were building together, one forgotten pen and grocery list at a time.
           You smiled, closing the drawer with a soft click, knowing that someday it would fill up even more. But for now, it was a comforting, endearing mess - much like love itself.
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hopesworlld · 8 months ago
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౨ৎ pretty when you cry
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౨ৎ 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 — dark!anakin x fem!reader
౨ৎ 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 — anakin needs to prove you are his forever, he knows the perfect way how
౨ৎ 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 — 1k
౨ৎ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — swearing, toxic!anakin, dead dove: do not eat, smut ( mentioned p in v, creampie, knife play, ownership, d/s dynamics, spanking ) literal carving of anakin's name into your back so... think this is everything !
౨ৎ 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 ! — got drunk, went feral, enjoy
masterlist
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“i have an idea,” anakin muttered against your flushed skin, you were lying on your front, anakin atop of you, his cock still throbbing inside of you as he pumped another load of thick hot cum into your swollen cunt. 
“yea?” you murmured faintly, drool coating your chin and eyelids fluttering. it had been hours since he had dragged you into the bedroom, face flushed and fist clenched after he had checked your phone and found messages between you and another man. you had tried to explain yourself saying it was only one of your coworkers asking about the timetable, but he knew it was a lie, he wanted you, and he would fucking kill someone before letting you go. 
“wanna show jamie who you belong to,” he said, running his hand along your lower back, you shivered at the contact, back still aching after having been perched on your hands and knees for so long with anakin jackhammering into you. “make sure that you never leave me,” he continued, hands cupping your firm ass, still flushed crimson after the spanks he had given you. 
“i won’t, ani,” you whispered, pressing your cheeks further into the pillow, exhaustion racking your frame but anakin shook his head, slipping his hands up to your hips again and holding tightly. 
“oh, i know, baby, could never survive without me could you?” he crooned kissing the back of your sweat-soaked neck, “need me to keep you safe from all those men who want to hurt you, take advantage of you, too sweet for your own good, baby doll,” he thrust slightly, his cock brushing your cervix and you sobbed. 
“ani, i’m sensitive,” you whimpered, but you pushed back against him, settling him deeper and anakin grinned. 
“i know, baby, little pussy so overwhelmed by my cock,” he whispered, “just stay still and i’ll make you cum again for me, want to see you cream over my cock one more time once i’ve finished,” anakin said, pulling back slightly, his hand reaching into his bedside drawer and pulling something out. “this is gonna hurt, pretty,” he told you. 
“what… ani, what are you doing?” you asked trying to twist your face to look at him but anakin gripped the back of your neck and forced your face into the pillows, holding you down. 
“stay still,” anakin hissed, “you stay there and don’t fucking move,” you shuddered, biting down on the pillow as something cold and sharp traced across your back.
“ani,” you whimpered, and he snickered a sharp cold thing as he pushed harsher and you felt the bite of a blade against your heated skin. “anakin, what are you doing?” you gasped, dipping down on the bed trying to escape the knife but anakin grasped the back of your neck holding you down, swinging the knife around his fingers so that the blade was facing upwards so that he could spank you harshly on your throbbing ass. 
“the fuck are you doing,” anakin seethed, “don’t want me to make you mine? don’t want me to prove that i own you, scared that someone else is gonna have you bent over and see?” he spat, and you shook your head frantically. 
“no, no ani, i’m sorry” you gasp out, “no one will ever see me like this, only you, i’m just scared,” you cried out, hot tears streaming down your ruddy cheeks. 
“you don’t need to be scared, baby doll, i would never hurt you,” he whispered, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “i only want to keep you safe, all i’m ever gonna do, so be a good girl and let me do what i need to do,” anakin said, biting down on your ear lobe before pulling back and pressing his knife to your lower back once again. “don’t move,” he murmured before digging the knife into your skin, it was a horrible aching burn that sank deep beneath your skin and jolted up your spine, you hissed in agony as he dragged the knife along your back, carving something into your skin. you were sobbing, biting down on the pillow to silence the screams brewing in your throat. 
“doing so good for me, baby,” he told you, “just stay still, almost there,” the pain was indescribable, you could feel every drag of his knife against your back as it pierced your skin, sinking deeper into the flesh, you could feel hot blood spilling down your back dripping down your skin and onto the sheets. 
“ani,” you screeched into the pillow, his grip keeping you still as you began to squirm on the sheets in agony. 
“almost done, baby doll,” he crooned, moving the knife along and suddenly he was sinking it in once again, you jolted and the knife sank deeper but he didn’t stop, continuing to carve until he was done and then he pulled back admiring his work. “perfect,” he whispered. 
“what,” you spluttered out, unable to move as pain radiated from your back and jolted through every nerve. “what does it say?” you asked him quietly and anakin chuckled, you heard him shuffling about, grabbing his phone and snapping a picture of your back before showing you, and there crudely etched into you back, marred by blood was his name. anakin had carved his own name into your skin deep enough that it would probably scar forever. anakin. his forever. 
“let’s send this to jamie, huh?” anakin chuckled and you couldn’t stop him, not when he began to pump his hips against you once again, the delicious pressure of his cock against your cervix enough to send you spiraling into a world of pleasure and pain and you were powerless to stop him. 
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this is the most outrageous thing i have ever written icl
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muiitoloko · 3 months ago
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Would you be able to do a Severus Snape story. One where his girlfriend is nervous about having sex with him, as she still suffers from issues she suffered at the hands of a man who thought cared about her but just wanted to abuse her. Severus completely understands and never pressures her, she tells him she finally wants to have sex with him and he takes his time with her and is gently with her due her abuser being a sadist when it came to sex and not preparing her enough. Then after they have made love, he cuddles up with her which is a foreign concept to her as her abuser just use to shove her clothes into her arms after he was finished. Severus telling her how beautiful she is, as her abuser also belittled her about her body.
if you aren’t comfortable with this idea, it is fine if you choose not to write this idea.
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Title: Alchemy of the Heart
Summary: A story of transformation and healing, where Severus Snape learns that love, like magic, can mend even the most broken of souls.
Pairing: Severus Snape × Fem! Reader
Warnings: Smut.
Author's Notes: Thank you for your request! 🫶
Also read on Ao3
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Severus Snape never thought he would find himself in such a situation—dating a Muggle, living a life that was so mundanely normal after everything he had endured. He scoffed at the absurdity of it all as he moved about the small kitchen in his modest home at Spinner's End, preparing dinner for himself and you, the woman who had somehow wormed her way into his life, despite his best efforts to keep everyone at arm’s length.
The irony was not lost on him. He, Severus Snape, a man who had spent his entire adult life hiding behind shadows and secrets, was now standing over a stove, chopping vegetables for a Muggle dish he barely knew how to make. He was a man who had survived the war, against all odds, only to be pulled back from the brink of death by none other than Harry bloody Potter. That particular twist of fate still rankled him. Potter had used the Elder Wand to heal the wounds inflicted by Nagini, saving his life and subsequently fighting to free him from Azkaban, where he had been imprisoned for a year. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing he owed his life and freedom to the very boy he had spent years despising.
Snape grimaced as he remembered the cold, damp cells of Azkaban, the Dementors draining every ounce of warmth and hope from him, leaving only a hollow shell behind. He had resigned himself to that fate, ready to be forgotten, to fade into obscurity. But Potter had other plans, of course. The boy who lived, the boy who couldn’t leave well enough alone.
And now, here he was, living in his old childhood home, the memories of his past haunting every corner, every shadow. But there was one new element in his life, something—or rather someone—who had become an unexpected comfort in this bleak existence. You.
He had first noticed you a few weeks after his release, moving into the house next door with your belongings piled into an old, beat-up car. You were a breath of fresh air in the stale, suffocating environment of Spinner’s End. Snape had tried to scare you off at first, his usual acerbic demeanor and cutting remarks meant to keep you at a distance. But you were persistent, infuriatingly so. You would knock on his door with some trivial request—a cup of sugar, a light for your stove, a missing ingredient for dinner. And every time, despite himself, Snape would begrudgingly oblige, always with a scowl and a sarcastic remark.
But you kept coming back. No matter how cold or curt he was, you would return, flashing that infuriatingly bright smile, your eyes sparkling with a warmth that he hadn’t known in years. Slowly, despite his best efforts, Snape found himself softening towards you, your presence becoming a constant, a fixture in his life that he didn’t entirely hate.
It had started as a reluctant friendship—if he could even call it that—exchanging a few words here and there, discussing the weather or some mundane topic. But then, one evening, you had invited him over for dinner. He had almost declined, the words on the tip of his tongue, but something in your eyes, a quiet loneliness, made him change his mind. And that night, as you both sat in your small, cozy kitchen, sharing a simple meal, Snape felt something shift between you. It was subtle, a barely noticeable change in the air, but it was there, and he knew you felt it too.
From that moment on, things were different. The awkwardness that had always lingered between you seemed to dissipate, replaced by a quiet understanding, a comfort in each other’s presence that neither of you could deny. The dinners became more frequent, the conversations more personal, and before long, those moments spent together turned into something more.
The first time you kissed him, it was hesitant, a brief brush of lips that left him reeling. He had pulled back, his eyes searching yours for any sign of doubt, of regret. But all he saw was warmth, acceptance, and something deeper—something he hadn’t felt in years. And so, he had kissed you again, this time with more conviction, more certainty, his hands tangling in your hair as he pulled you closer, tasting the sweetness of your lips.
But even as things between you grew more intimate, there was always a hesitance on your part, a reluctance to let things progress beyond those heated kisses, those moments of passion that left you both breathless. Snape had tried to be patient, tried to respect your boundaries, but there were times when he couldn’t help the frustration that simmered just beneath the surface.
It wasn’t until one night, after another round of heated kisses that left you both wanting more, that Snape’s patience finally wore thin. He had used Legilimency on you, a skill he had honed to perfection over the years, and what he saw left him reeling. Memories of your past, of a relationship that had been toxic, abusive, of a man who had used your body, your trust, against you. It made Snape’s blood boil with rage, a fury that he hadn’t felt in years, directed not at you but at the man who had hurt you.
He had pulled back immediately, ashamed of what he had done, of the intrusion, but he couldn’t erase the memories from his mind. He couldn’t forget the pain in your eyes, the fear that had lingered just beneath the surface, even as you tried to move on, to find happiness with him.
So he kept it to himself, burying the knowledge deep within, refusing to let it taint what was growing between you. He would wait, he decided. He would wait until you were ready to tell him, until you trusted him enough to open up, to share your past with him.
And then, one evening, as you both sat on his old, worn sofa, your head resting on his shoulder, you had finally told him. The words had tumbled out in a rush, your voice trembling with fear and uncertainty, and Snape had listened, his heart aching with every word. When you had finished, he had wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, his lips brushing against your hair as he whispered words of comfort, of reassurance.
"Thank you for telling me," he had murmured, his voice low and rough with emotion. "You’re safe with me, always."
And that night, as you lay in his arms, Snape had made a silent vow to himself. He would never hurt you, never push you beyond what you were comfortable with. He would wait, as long as it took, until you were ready.
Now, as he stirred the pot of soup simmering on the stove, Snape couldn’t help but think back to that night, to the way you had looked at him with such trust, such vulnerability. It made his heart clench in a way that he wasn’t used to, a feeling that he had tried to bury for years but that now resurfaced with a vengeance.
You had come into his life like a force of nature, breaking down the walls he had built around himself, forcing him to confront emotions that he had long since buried. And while part of him resented it, resented the way you had made him feel again, another part of him—the part he tried to ignore—was grateful.
He heard the soft creak of the floorboards behind him and turned to see you standing in the doorway, your eyes bright with affection as you watched him cook. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he couldn’t help the warmth that spread through him at the sight of you, so full of life, so full of light.
"You’re cooking," you said, your voice filled with a mix of surprise and delight as you stepped into the kitchen, your hands coming to rest on the counter as you leaned against it, watching him with those warm, trusting eyes.
"Don’t sound so shocked," Snape replied, his tone dry but not unkind as he turned back to the stove, giving the soup another stir. "I am capable of preparing a meal, despite what you may think."
You chuckled softly, the sound sending a pleasant shiver down his spine. "I never doubted it," you said, your voice light and teasing as you stepped closer, your hands resting on his shoulders as you leaned in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. "But I’m still impressed."
Snape felt a warmth spread through him at your touch, your lips against his skin sending a wave of heat coursing through his body. He turned his head slightly, his eyes meeting yours, and for a moment, he allowed himself to get lost in the warmth of your gaze, the affection that shone in your eyes.
But then, as quickly as it had come, the moment was gone, and Snape turned back to the stove, his hands tightening on the spoon as he stirred the soup with more force than necessary. He couldn’t allow himself to get too comfortable, to let his guard down. There was still so much you didn’t know about him, so much he was keeping from you.
You didn’t know that the man you were dating was not just a simple recluse living in a small, forgotten town. You didn’t know that the man you had trusted with your secrets, with your heart, was a wizard, a man who had fought in a war that had left deep scars on his soul. You didn’t know that the man you had chosen to love was capable of things that would terrify most people.
And as much as Snape wanted to keep it that way, to keep you safe from the darkness that had consumed so much of his life, he knew that it was only a matter of time before the truth came out. He could only hope that when it did, you would still look at him with the same warmth, the same affection that you did now.
But for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, focusing instead on the task at hand—preparing a simple meal for the woman who had become the light in his dark, shadowed world. It wasn’t much, but it was all he had to offer.
You moved closer to him, your body pressing against his as you wrapped your arms around his waist, your head resting on his shoulder as you watched him cook. Snape stiffened slightly at the unexpected contact, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he allowed himself to relax into your embrace, the warmth of your body seeping into his own, calming the storm of thoughts that constantly swirled in his mind.
"Thank you, Sev," you murmured, your voice soft and sincere as you pressed another kiss to his shoulder, your lips lingering against the fabric of his shirt. "For everything."
Snape swallowed hard, his throat tightening at the sound of your voice, the sincerity in your words. He wasn’t used to this—this warmth, this affection. It was foreign to him, something he had long since resigned himself to living without. But now, with you, it was becoming a part of his life, and as much as it terrified him, he found himself clinging to it, desperate for the light you brought into his world.
He didn’t trust himself to speak, didn’t trust his voice to remain steady, so instead, he simply nodded, his hand coming up to rest on yours, squeezing it gently in silent acknowledgment.
You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him, your eyes searching his for something—reassurance, perhaps, or maybe just a connection, a confirmation that he was here, with you, in this moment. Whatever it was, Snape felt a surge of emotion rise up within him, threatening to overwhelm him.
And then, as if sensing his turmoil, you leaned in and kissed him, your lips soft and warm against his, a gentle caress that made his heart ache with longing. Snape responded almost automatically, his hands coming up to cradle your face as he deepened the kiss, his lips moving against yours with a desperate need that he hadn’t felt in years.
The kiss quickly grew more heated, more urgent, as Snape’s hands roamed over your body, feeling the warmth of your skin through the fabric of your clothes. He could feel the desire building within him, the need to take this further, to lose himself in you, in the warmth and comfort that you offered.
But then, just as quickly as it had begun, you pulled back, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you looked up at him, your eyes filled with a mix of desire and uncertainty.
"Severus," you murmured, your voice trembling slightly as you placed your hands on his chest, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. "I… I want to be with you, but…"
Snape felt his heart clench at your words, the hesitation in your voice, the uncertainty in your eyes. He knew what you were going to say, knew what was holding you back, and it made his chest tighten with a mix of frustration and sorrow.
"But you’re not ready," Snape finished for you, his voice low and rough as he cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing gently against your skin. "And that’s okay, love. We’ll take things at your pace."
You looked up at him, your eyes filling with tears as you nodded, a small, grateful smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you leaned into his touch, your eyes closing as you savored the warmth of his hand against your skin.
Snape felt a wave of emotion wash over him, a mixture of love and frustration and something else—something deeper, something darker that he couldn’t quite put into words. He wanted you, more than he had ever wanted anything in his life, but he couldn’t—wouldn’t—push you into something you weren’t ready for. Not after everything you had been through.
So instead, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin as he whispered, "When you’re ready, I’ll be here."
You nodded, your arms wrapping around his waist as you buried your face in his chest, clinging to him as if he were a lifeline. And in that moment, Snape realized that maybe, just maybe, he was.
As the two of you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, Snape couldn’t help but think of how far he had come, how much his life had changed since the end of the war. He had gone from being a man consumed by darkness and hatred, to a man who was learning to love again, who was finding solace in the warmth of a woman’s embrace.
But even as he held you close, the weight of his secrets pressed down on him, a constant reminder that there was still so much you didn’t know about him, so much that he was keeping from you.
And as much as he wanted to protect you from that darkness, he knew that it was only a matter of time before the truth came out.
For now, though, he would hold onto this moment, this brief reprieve from the shadows that haunted his every step. And he would continue to wait, as long as it took, until you were ready to take that next step, to fully trust him with your body, your heart, your soul.
Because for the first time in his life, Severus Snape had something worth waiting for.
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You and Severus Snape sat across from each other at the small, worn kitchen table in his modest home. The room was quiet, save for the soft clinking of spoons against bowls as you both ate the soup he had prepared. The aroma of the dish filled the air, a comforting blend of herbs and spices that seemed almost out of place in the austere surroundings of Spinner’s End.
Snape watched you closely, his dark, piercing eyes never leaving your face as you took your first tentative spoonful of the soup. He appeared calm and composed, but there was a hint of something else in his gaze—an emotion that he carefully kept hidden behind his usual mask of indifference. You, oblivious to the scrutiny, tasted the soup, savoring the warmth that spread through you as you swallowed.
To your surprise, the soup was not just good—it was delicious. The flavors were rich and well-balanced, each ingredient perfectly complementing the others. You glanced up at Snape, your eyes wide with genuine admiration. “This is amazing, Severus,” you said, your voice filled with pleasant surprise. “I didn’t expect you to be such a good cook!”
Snape’s response was immediate. He rolled his eyes in a manner that was both exaggerated and entirely out of character, the motion so unexpected that it caught you off guard. His lips pressed into a thin line, and he affected a tone of mock offense. “What did you expect, then? That I would poison you with my lack of culinary skills?”
You burst into laughter, the sound bright and clear in the small, dimly lit kitchen. “No, no! It’s just—I mean, you never struck me as the type to… well, cook. You always seem so serious, so… severe.”
He raised an eyebrow at you, his dark eyes narrowing slightly, but there was a glint of amusement in them that you hadn’t noticed before. “I am full of surprises, as you’ve clearly discovered,” he said dryly, the corner of his mouth twitching as if he were fighting the urge to smile.
You tried to stifle your laughter, covering your mouth with one hand as you leaned forward, shaking your head. “I’m sorry, Sev. I didn’t mean to sound so… rude. I’m just pleasantly surprised, that’s all.”
Snape’s expression remained impassive, though the faintest hint of a smirk tugged at his lips. “Well, if you’re going to be so disrespectful about my cooking, perhaps I should refrain from ever doing it again,” he said, his tone smooth and measured, though laced with a subtle edge of sarcasm.
Your laughter died down, and you looked at him with wide, imploring eyes, your lips forming a small, playful pout. “Oh, please don’t do that! I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
He allowed the silence to stretch out, letting you squirm slightly under his gaze. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he set his spoon down and leaned back in his chair, his long, pale fingers steepled in front of him. “I suppose I can find it within myself to forgive you,” he said with mock gravity, his voice carrying that familiar, rich baritone that sent a shiver down your spine.
You grinned, relieved by the playful banter that had emerged between you two. “I promise to be more appreciative next time,” you said, your tone light and teasing.
Snape’s eyes softened slightly, and he allowed himself a small, genuine smile, though it was fleeting. “See that you do,” he replied, his voice carrying just a hint of warmth. He picked up his spoon once more, returning his attention to his soup, though you could tell he was still watching you from the corner of his eye.
The two of you ate in comfortable silence for a few moments, the earlier tension between you having dissipated entirely. There was something soothing about the simplicity of the moment—the two of you sharing a meal, the quiet intimacy of the evening wrapping around you like a warm blanket.
After a while, you looked up at him, a thought crossing your mind. “Severus,” you began, your voice soft and curious, “you never really talk about your past. You’ve told me bits and pieces, but… I don’t really know much about you.”
Snape’s hand paused mid-motion, his spoon hovering over the bowl. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and for a moment, you saw a flash of something—uncertainty, perhaps?—in his gaze. But it was gone as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by his usual inscrutable expression.
“What exactly do you want to know?” he asked, his tone carefully neutral.
You hesitated, unsure of how to phrase your question without prying too much. “I know you were a professor—a chemistry professor, right? At a college in Scotland?”
He inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the version of his past that he had shared with you. “Yes,” he said, his voice measured. “I taught for many years.”
You smiled at him, trying to convey that you weren’t seeking to push him into sharing anything he wasn’t comfortable with. “It must have been… interesting, teaching. But I can’t imagine it was easy, especially with students who didn’t always appreciate your brilliance.”
Snape’s lips twitched at that, and he let out a soft, sardonic huff. “Indeed. Many of them were more interested in their own self-indulgent pursuits than in actually learning anything of value.”
You chuckled, imagining a classroom full of students cowering under Snape’s stern gaze, their attempts at chemistry likely met with his cutting remarks. “I’m sure you were a… challenging teacher,” you said, choosing your words carefully.
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your tact. “I was effective,” he replied simply, his tone leaving no room for doubt.
You leaned forward slightly, resting your chin on your hand as you looked at him with genuine curiosity. “Do you miss it? Teaching, I mean.”
For a moment, Snape was silent, his eyes distant as if he were considering your question—or perhaps reliving old memories. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, more reflective. “There are aspects of it that I miss, yes. The pursuit of knowledge, the satisfaction of imparting it to those few who were truly eager to learn… But the rest… no, I do not miss that.”
You nodded, understanding that there was much more to his past than he was willing—or perhaps able—to share. You didn’t press further, content to let him reveal what he wished in his own time. Instead, you reached out and gently placed your hand over his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Thank you for sharing that with me, Sev,” you said softly, your eyes meeting his with sincerity.
Snape looked at you, his expression inscrutable, but you could sense the shift in his mood—the subtle softening of his usual defenses. “You’re welcome,” he replied, his voice low and almost reluctant, as if the words didn’t come easily to him.
You both returned to your meal, the earlier levity now replaced by a quiet, comfortable silence. As you finished your soup, you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of contentment—a feeling that, despite everything, you were exactly where you were meant to be, with the man who, against all odds, had become so important to you.
And as Snape watched you from across the table, his dark eyes lingering on your face, he too felt a stirring of something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in years—something that, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t entirely hate.
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Days later, you found yourself in a small, charming boutique nestled in the heart of town, dragging Severus Snape along with you. The place was a far cry from the dark, foreboding atmosphere of Spinner's End. It was bright, colorful, and filled with racks of clothing that seemed to almost offend Snape’s sensibilities. The air was thick with the scent of fresh fabric and a hint of perfume, and the light streaming through the windows made everything seem almost unnaturally cheerful.
Snape, however, was anything but cheerful.
He stood in the middle of the store, his tall, lean frame towering over the racks of clothing, his long black coat making him look like a shadow in a world of light. His greasy black hair hung over his pale, angular face, and his dark eyes were narrowed in a mixture of disdain and discomfort. He watched you with a glare that could have curdled milk, his lips pressed into a thin, disapproving line.
"You cannot be serious," he growled, his deep, monotone voice cutting through the lighthearted chatter of the boutique. "I have no interest in—"
"Oh, come on, Sev," you interrupted, undeterred by his intimidating presence as you held up a bright, turquoise shirt, eyeing it critically before pushing it against his chest. "You can't always wear black. It's time for a change, don't you think?"
Snape recoiled as if you had just handed him a particularly venomous potion. "Absolutely not," he snapped, pushing the shirt away from him as if it were toxic. "I am perfectly content with my current wardrobe, thank you very much."
You rolled your eyes, clearly unfazed by his resistance. "You can't hide in black forever, you know. It’s time to add a little color to your life, Severus."
He scowled, crossing his arms over his chest in a gesture of stubborn defiance. "I see no need for such frivolity. I am not one of your... fashion experiments."
You grinned at his surly tone, your eyes twinkling with mischief as you rifled through another rack of clothing. "Well, maybe you should be. I think you’d look quite dashing in something other than black for a change."
Snape’s eyes narrowed further as he watched you, clearly unimpressed with the direction this outing was taking. "This is absurd," he muttered, though there was a faint trace of resignation in his voice as he realized that there was no escaping your determination.
And then, as if to test his resolve further, you pulled out a bright pink shirt from the rack, holding it up for him to see. "What about this?" you asked, your voice filled with playful innocence. "I think pink would really bring out the color in your eyes."
Snape’s reaction was immediate and visceral. His dark eyes widened in horror, and for a moment, it looked as if he might actually hiss at the offending garment. "Absolutely not!" he thundered, taking a step back as if the shirt were about to attack him. "I will not—under any circumstances—wear pink! No! No! No way! I’d rather die before wearing that!"
You burst into laughter at his dramatic reaction, clutching the shirt to your chest as you tried to stifle your giggles. "Oh, Sev," you managed between laughs, "you’re being ridiculous. It’s just a shirt!"
"It’s not just a shirt," he retorted, his voice laced with indignation. "It’s a deliberate assault on my dignity. Pink, indeed!" He scoffed, his nose wrinkling in disdain. "Do I look like someone who would wear pink?"
You stepped closer to him, your laughter subsiding as you held the shirt up to his chest again, your eyes meeting his with a mixture of challenge and affection. "You might be surprised," you teased, your voice softening slightly as you gave him a knowing smile. "Besides, I think you’d look quite handsome in it. It’s just for fun, Sev. No one’s going to see you."
Snape stared down at you, his expression unreadable as he contemplated your words. There was a long moment of silence as the two of you stood there, the bright pink shirt still held between you, an unspoken battle of wills playing out in the air.
Finally, with a resigned sigh that seemed to come from the very depths of his soul, Snape snatched the shirt from your hands, his dark eyes glaring at you with a mixture of frustration and reluctant acceptance. "Fine," he muttered, his voice low and gravelly. "But if I look ridiculous, I will hold you personally responsible."
You grinned, practically bouncing on your toes with excitement as you watched him disappear into the dressing room. "I’m sure you’ll look fantastic," you called after him, unable to keep the amusement out of your voice.
Several minutes passed, and you waited impatiently outside the dressing room, practically buzzing with anticipation. Finally, the door creaked open, and Snape stepped out, his tall, lean frame draped in the bright pink shirt you had chosen for him.
For a moment, you were stunned into silence. The shirt, against all odds, actually looked… good on him. The color, while a far cry from his usual black, brought out a warmth in his pale complexion that you hadn’t noticed before. The way the fabric clung to his lean form was surprisingly flattering, highlighting the sharp lines of his shoulders and chest.
But what really struck you was the expression on Snape’s face. He looked utterly resigned, as if he were bracing himself for some inevitable disaster, but there was also a glimmer of something else in his dark eyes—something that almost looked like amusement.
He stood there, his arms hanging stiffly at his sides, and then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he clapped his hands together, his expression deadpan as he waited for your reaction. "Well?" he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Are you satisfied with your handiwork, or do I need to suffer through more of this torture?"
You couldn’t help it. You burst into laughter, the sound bright and joyful as you clapped your hands together in delight. "You look… amazing, Severus!" you exclaimed, your eyes sparkling with amusement as you stepped closer to him, reaching out to smooth the fabric of the shirt against his chest. "I knew you’d look good in pink!"
Snape rolled his eyes, though there was a faint twitch at the corner of his lips that betrayed his own amusement. "I look like an idiot," he muttered, though the words lacked any real heat. "This is precisely why I do not allow you to choose my clothing."
You grinned up at him, your hands resting on his chest as you met his gaze with a playful glint in your eyes. "Well, I think you look quite handsome," you said, your voice filled with affection. "And besides, it’s good to have a little fun every now and then, don’t you think?"
Snape huffed, clearly unconvinced, but there was a softness in his gaze that hadn’t been there before—a subtle acknowledgment of the fact that, despite his grumbling, he didn’t entirely hate the experience.
"Fun," he repeated, his voice laced with irony as he gave you a pointed look. "Yes, well, I suppose if nothing else, I’ve provided you with some amusement."
You chuckled, your eyes twinkling as you leaned up to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "You always do, Severus. You always do."
And as you both left the boutique, Snape still wearing the pink shirt with a mixture of resignation and reluctant acceptance, you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of contentment. The man who had once been shrouded in darkness, who had built walls around himself so high that no one could penetrate them, was slowly letting you in—one bright pink shirt at a time.
Later that day, after the unexpected and rather amusing shopping trip, you found yourself back at Snape’s home. The small, dimly lit rooms of Spinner’s End were a stark contrast to the bright, colorful boutique you had dragged him to earlier, but there was a certain comfort in the familiarity of the old, worn furniture and the quiet, almost melancholic atmosphere that seemed to permeate every corner of the house.
Snape, now mercifully back in his usual black attire, sat stiffly on a low stool in the bathroom, his long legs awkwardly folded in front of him, as you fussed over his hair. The small, narrow room was filled with the scent of shampoo and the faint sound of water dripping from the faucet, the only noises breaking the otherwise heavy silence.
You stood behind him, your fingers working through the tangled strands of his long, greasy black hair, your touch gentle but insistent. The hair-washing had been your idea, of course—a suggestion made with the kind of playful insistence that you knew Snape could never fully resist, no matter how much he pretended otherwise.
Snape, for his part, was doing his best to endure the ordeal with what little dignity he had left. His dark eyes were narrowed in a mixture of discomfort and irritation as he glared at his reflection in the small mirror above the sink, his lips pressed into a thin line of discontent. Every so often, he would let out a low grumble, the sound vibrating deep in his chest as he shifted uncomfortably on the stool.
"Must you continue this charade?" he muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he shot you a sideways glance in the mirror. "I’m quite capable of washing my own hair, you know."
You ignored his complaints, your fingers continuing to work through the soapy strands of his hair with determined care. "Oh, hush, Severus," you replied, your tone light and teasing as you gently massaged his scalp. "You’re just being grumpy because you know I’m right—this hair needs a good washing, and you weren’t about to do it yourself."
Snape let out an indignant huff, his fingers curling tightly around the edge of the sink as he tried to maintain some semblance of control over the situation. "I hardly think you’re qualified to make such judgments," he retorted, though the faint hint of amusement in his tone betrayed his true feelings. "And you’re taking entirely too much pleasure in this."
You chuckled softly, your eyes twinkling with mischief as you leaned down to press a quick, playful kiss to the top of his head. "Of course I am," you admitted, your voice filled with affection as you continued to run your fingers through his hair. "When else do I get the chance to pamper you like this?"
Snape rolled his eyes, though the gesture lacked any real heat. "Pamper," he repeated, his voice laced with irony as he met your gaze in the mirror. "If this is what you consider pampering, then I shudder to think what you would consider torture."
You grinned, your hands still working methodically through his hair, carefully untangling each knot with the patience of someone who had come to know him well enough to not be intimidated by his gruff demeanor. "Oh, Sev," you teased, your voice soft and affectionate, "I think you secretly enjoy this more than you let on. You just don’t want to admit it."
He scoffed, his dark eyes narrowing slightly as he turned his head to glare at you, though there was no real malice in his gaze. "I assure you, I derive no enjoyment from being subjected to this… this—"
"Indulgence?" you supplied, your tone light and playful as you met his glare with a knowing smile.
"Humiliation," Snape corrected, his voice heavy with sarcasm as he turned his attention back to the mirror, his expression once again settling into its usual stoic mask. "But by all means, continue with your… indulgence."
You shook your head, your grin widening as you continued to work through his hair, the strands slowly becoming less tangled, less greasy under your careful ministrations. "You’re impossible," you muttered, though there was no real heat behind the words. "But that’s part of your charm, I suppose."
Snape’s only response was a low, noncommittal grunt, his fingers tapping impatiently against the edge of the sink as he tried to maintain his patience.
After a few more minutes of combing through his hair, you finally felt satisfied with your work. You reached for a clean towel, gently wrapping it around his head as you began to dry the now-clean strands with a firm but gentle touch. "There, all done," you said, your voice filled with a quiet satisfaction as you stepped back to admire your handiwork.
Snape, however, was less than impressed. He reached up, his long fingers brushing through his now-damp hair with a frown, as if expecting to find some glaring imperfection. "Are you quite finished?" he asked, his tone a mixture of irritation and resignation as he glanced at you in the mirror.
"Not quite," you replied, your eyes catching sight of a single strand of white hair near the crown of his head. Your expression shifted from playful to curious as you reached out to touch the strand, gently pulling it free from the rest of his hair.
"Sev," you said, your voice filled with a mixture of surprise and amusement as you held up the white hair for him to see. "Look what I found."
Snape’s eyes narrowed as he glanced at the strand in your hand, his expression immediately hardening. "That is not mine," he stated flatly, his tone leaving no room for argument. "It must have gotten mixed in with my hair somehow."
You couldn’t help but laugh at his stubborn denial, your eyes sparkling with amusement as you dangled the strand in front of him. "Oh, come on, Sev," you teased, your voice light and playful as you met his glare with a grin. "It’s just one white hair. It’s nothing to be ashamed of."
Snape’s lips pressed into a thin line, his dark eyes narrowing further as he snatched the strand from your hand, his expression one of absolute refusal. "It is not mine," he repeated, his voice filled with the kind of certainty that only Severus Snape could muster. "I do not have white hair."
You rolled your eyes, clearly amused by his adamant refusal to accept the truth. "You’re impossible," you muttered, shaking your head as you watched him carefully inspect the strand of hair, as if trying to find some evidence to support his claim.
"Impossible or not," Snape replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he tossed the strand of hair into the waste bin with a flick of his wrist, "I refuse to believe that I am… aging."
You chuckled softly, reaching out to gently cup his cheek, your thumb brushing against the sharp line of his jaw as you looked up at him with a mixture of affection and amusement. "Everyone ages, Sev," you said softly, your voice filled with warmth as you met his gaze. "Even you."
Snape’s expression softened slightly at your words, though he still seemed reluctant to accept the truth. "Perhaps," he muttered, his voice low and gruff as he glanced away, his dark eyes flickering with an emotion you couldn’t quite place.
You smiled, your heart swelling with affection for the man who had become so important to you, despite his stubbornness, despite his gruff exterior. "It’s nothing to worry about," you assured him, your voice soft and reassuring as you leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "I think it just makes you more distinguished."
Snape let out a low, skeptical grunt, his lips curving into a faint, reluctant smile as he met your gaze once more. "Distinguished," he repeated, his tone filled with a mixture of irony and amusement. "Is that what you call it?"
You grinned, your eyes twinkling with mischief as you nodded. "Absolutely," you replied, your voice filled with playful conviction. "And besides, it’s just one hair. You’ve got plenty of time before you have to worry about going gray."
Snape rolled his eyes, clearly unconvinced by your reassurances, but he didn’t argue further. Instead, he allowed himself to relax into your touch, his long fingers wrapping around your wrist as he pulled you closer, his dark eyes narrowing slightly as he looked down at you with a mixture of desire and frustration.
"You’re entirely too pleased with yourself," he murmured, his voice low and rough as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch lingering on your skin.
You felt a shiver run down your spine at the intensity of his gaze, your heart quickening as you looked up at him, your breath catching in your throat. "And you’re entirely too grumpy," you retorted, though your voice trembled slightly as you spoke, the playful banter giving way to a sudden, undeniable tension that crackled in the air between you.
Snape’s lips curved into a small, dangerous smile, his eyes darkening with an intensity that made your pulse quicken. "Perhaps," he murmured, his voice dropping to a low, seductive growl as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear, "you need to be reminded of why you shouldn’t push me too far."
Your breath hitched at the underlying threat in his tone, a thrill of fear and excitement coursing through you as his fingers tightened around your wrist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the steady, insistent pressure of his arousal against your thigh, and it sent a jolt of desire straight to your core.
"Severus," you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of anticipation and fear as you looked up at him, your eyes wide and uncertain.
He met your gaze, his expression softening slightly as he sensed your hesitation, the dark intensity in his eyes giving way to a quiet, almost tender concern. "You’re still afraid," he murmured, his voice low and rough with barely restrained desire as he brushed his lips against your temple, the gentle gesture at odds with the possessive grip he had on your wrist. "You don’t have to be, love."
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest as you felt the weight of his words, the quiet reassurance in his voice making your resolve waver. "I know," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you looked up at him, your eyes searching his for any sign of doubt, of hesitation.
But there was none. Only the dark, smoldering intensity of a man who wanted you—body, heart, and soul.
"I want this," you said, your voice trembling slightly as you spoke the words that had been on the tip of your tongue for so long, the words that you had been too afraid to say. "I want you, Sev."
A low growl rumbled deep in his chest at your admission, his dark eyes flashing with a mixture of desire and satisfaction as he leaned down to capture your lips in a fierce, hungry kiss. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping into your mouth with a possessive urgency that made your knees weak.
You responded eagerly, your hands tangling in his damp hair as you pressed yourself against him, the fear and hesitation that had held you back for so long melting away in the heat of his embrace. There was no room for doubt, no room for fear—only the overwhelming need to be with him, to feel him, to lose yourself in the pleasure that he offered.
Snape’s hands moved with a sure, practiced grace as he deftly unbuttoned your blouse, his fingers brushing against your skin as he pushed the fabric aside, revealing the smooth, pale expanse of your chest. He let out a low, appreciative groan as he took in the sight of you, his eyes darkening with desire as he reached up to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples with a feather-light touch that sent shivers down your spine.
"You’re so beautiful," he murmured, his voice rough with barely restrained desire as he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to the hollow of your throat, his hands moving to your waist as he slowly began to guide you toward the bed. "I’ve wanted this for so long… wanted you for so long."
You let out a soft moan at the feel of his lips against your skin, your heart pounding in your chest as you allowed him to lead you, your legs trembling with anticipation as you felt the edge of the bed against the back of your knees. "Sev," you whispered, your voice filled with a mixture of desire and uncertainty as you looked up at him, your eyes wide and vulnerable.
He met your gaze, his expression softening slightly as he sensed your lingering hesitation, his hands moving to cup your face as he leaned down to press a gentle, reassuring kiss to your lips. "You don’t have to be afraid," he murmured, his voice low and soothing as he brushed his thumbs against your cheeks, his dark eyes filled with a quiet, tender concern. "I’ll be gentle, love. I promise."
You nodded, your heart swelling with affection for the man who had been so patient, so understanding, even as his own desire threatened to consume him. "I trust you," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion as you leaned into his touch, your eyes closing as you savored the warmth of his hands against your skin.
Snape let out a low, relieved sigh at your words, his lips curving into a small, tender smile as he pressed another kiss to your forehead, his hands moving to gently guide you onto the bed. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice filled with a quiet, sincere gratitude as he leaned over you, his dark eyes never leaving yours as he slowly began to undress you, his fingers brushing against your skin with a reverent care that made your heart ache.
There was no rush, no urgency—only the slow, deliberate movements of a man who wanted to savor every moment, every touch, every kiss. And as he finally stripped away the last of your clothing, leaving you bare and vulnerable beneath him, you felt a sense of peace settle over you, the fear and uncertainty that had plagued you for so long fading into the background as you lost yourself in the warmth of his embrace.
Snape took his time, his hands and lips exploring every inch of your body with a slow, deliberate care that made your breath hitch in your throat, the pleasure building with every touch, every caress. He was patient, attentive, always watching, always listening for any sign of discomfort, of hesitation, ready to stop at a moment’s notice if you so much as whispered a word of doubt.
But you gave him none. Only soft, breathless moans and whispered pleas for more, your body arching into his touch as he slowly, gently, brought you to the edge of pleasure, only to pull back, teasing you with the promise of release before finally, mercifully, giving you what you craved.
When he finally entered you, it was with a slow, deliberate thrust, his hands gripping your hips as he filled you completely, the sensation both overwhelming and exquisitely perfect. You let out a soft cry, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you clung to him, your body trembling with the intensity of the pleasure that surged through you.
"Sev," you moaned, your voice trembling with a mixture of desire and relief as you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as he began to move, his thrusts slow and measured, each one sending waves of pleasure crashing through you.
He let out a low, guttural groan at the sound of his name on your lips, his hands tightening on your hips as he quickened his pace, the intensity of his movements matched only by the fierce, possessive hunger in his eyes as he looked down at you, his expression one of absolute, unbridled need.
"You’re mine," he growled, his voice rough with desire as he leaned down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, his hips driving into you with a desperate urgency that made your breath hitch in your throat. "Mine, love. Always."
You could only moan in response, your mind too clouded with pleasure to form coherent words as you lost yourself in the sensation of him moving inside you, the steady, insistent rhythm of his thrusts sending you spiraling closer and closer to the edge of release.
And then, with a final, powerful thrust, he pushed you over the edge, your body convulsing around him as you cried out in pleasure, your fingers digging into his back as you clung to him, the intensity of your orgasm leaving you breathless, trembling, and utterly spent.
Snape continued moving inside you, his thrusts becoming more erratic as the intensity of his own pleasure grew, his control slipping with each passing second. His dark eyes, usually so guarded and inscrutable, were now clouded with raw desire as he leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear, his breath hot and ragged.
“Where do you want it?” he asked, his voice a strained whisper, rough with the effort to hold back. There was a note of desperation in his tone, a plea for your permission, your acceptance, as he teetered on the edge of release.
Your mind was a haze of pleasure, your body still trembling from the powerful orgasm he had just coaxed from you. His question hung in the air, charged with the weight of what it would mean—for him to finally claim you, to mark you as his.
“In me,” you breathed, your voice barely audible, but there was no mistaking the conviction in your words. “Cum inside me, Severus.”
A low, guttural curse escaped his lips, a rare crack in his usually controlled demeanor, as he buried himself to the hilt with a final, powerful thrust. The sensation of his thick length pulsing deep inside you sent a shudder through your body, your nails digging into his shoulders as you clung to him, holding him close as he found his release.
He came hard, his entire body tensing as he spilled himself inside you, his grip on your hips almost bruising as he held you in place, ensuring that every last drop was buried deep within you. His breath came in short, ragged gasps, mingling with the soft, desperate moans that escaped his lips as he rode out the waves of his orgasm, the intensity of it nearly overwhelming him.
“Mine,” he growled through clenched teeth, his voice rough with satisfaction as he pressed a bruising kiss to your lips, his body trembling with the aftershocks of his release. “You’re mine, love… all mine.”
You could only nod weakly, your body spent, your mind still reeling from the force of your own climax. The weight of his words, the possessiveness in his tone, sent a thrill through you, even as exhaustion began to creep in, your limbs heavy and languid as you lay beneath him.
Snape slowly pulled out of you, a low, satisfied groan rumbling in his chest as he watched the evidence of his claim slowly begin to seep from your body. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, the sight stirring something deep within him—something primal, possessive, and utterly inescapable.
But before you could fully process what was happening, Snape surprised you by shifting lower, his long, lean frame sliding down the bed until his face was level with your still-sensitive core. Your eyes widened in shock as you realized what he intended, a soft gasp escaping your lips as his hands gripped your thighs, spreading them wide to make room for himself.
“Sev—” you began, your voice trembling with a mixture of surprise and lingering sensitivity, but he silenced you with a look, his dark eyes glinting with a hunger that sent a shiver down your spine.
“Be still,” he commanded softly, his voice a low, dangerous growl as he lowered his head, his lips brushing against your inner thigh in a feather-light caress. “I’m not finished with you yet.”
You whimpered softly, your body trembling as he moved closer, his breath hot against your already oversensitive skin. You could feel the warmth of his breath ghosting over your most intimate areas, the sensation sending jolts of pleasure and discomfort through your body in equal measure.
“Severus, please,” you pleaded, your voice weak and breathy as you tried to squirm away, the overwhelming sensitivity making you want to pull back, to escape the onslaught of sensations that were too much, too intense.
But Snape would have none of it. His grip on your thighs tightened, holding you firmly in place as he buried his face between your legs, his lips and tongue seeking out the remnants of his own release mixed with your essence. The feel of his mouth on you, the deliberate, almost reverent way he cleaned you, was both too much and not enough, your mind spinning with the intensity of it all.
“Stay still,” he murmured against your skin, his voice a rough whisper as he continued his ministrations, his tongue lapping at you with slow, deliberate strokes that sent shivers of pleasure racing up your spine. “Let me taste you… let me taste what’s mine.”
You gasped, your fingers curling into the sheets as you fought against the urge to pull away, the overwhelming sensitivity making every touch feel like both pleasure and torture. Your body jerked involuntarily, but Snape only tightened his grip, holding you steady as he continued to work his mouth against you, his dark eyes flicking up to watch your every reaction.
He loved this—loved the way you trembled beneath him, the way your body responded to his touch even when it was too much, too intense. He loved the way your breath hitched in your throat, the way your nails dug into the sheets as you fought to keep still, to endure the overwhelming pleasure he was giving you.
“You’re so sensitive,” he murmured against your skin, his voice filled with dark satisfaction as he continued to lap at you, his tongue flicking against your clit in a way that made you cry out, your body convulsing beneath him. “So perfect… so responsive… I could do this forever.”
You couldn’t respond, your mind too clouded with pleasure, your body too wracked with sensation to form coherent words. All you could do was cling to the sheets, your breath coming in short, desperate gasps as Snape continued to work his mouth against you, his tongue relentless in its pursuit of every last drop of your combined release.
“Sev, please… it’s too much,” you whimpered, your voice trembling with a mixture of desperation and need as you tried to pull away, your body on the verge of another climax, the overstimulation sending jolts of pleasure and pain through you in equal measure.
But Snape didn’t let up. If anything, your pleas only seemed to spur him on, his mouth working you with renewed fervor, his hands tightening on your thighs as he held you in place, refusing to let you escape the overwhelming pleasure he was giving you.
“You can take it,” he growled against your skin, his voice filled with a dark, possessive hunger as he drove you closer and closer to the edge. “You’re mine, love… every part of you. I’ll make you cum again… I’ll make you remember who you belong to.”
His words were your undoing. With a final, desperate cry, your body convulsed beneath him, your second orgasm crashing over you with a force that left you breathless, trembling, and utterly spent. Snape held you through it, his mouth never leaving you, his tongue continuing to lap at you even as your body trembled with the aftershocks of your release.
When you finally came down from the high, your body limp and exhausted, Snape slowly pulled away, his dark eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he watched you, his lips curving into a small, dangerous smile.
“Perfect,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with a dark, possessive satisfaction as he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your trembling thigh. “You’re absolutely perfect.”
You could only nod weakly, your mind clouded by exhaustion and the overwhelming pleasure that had just coursed through you. Every muscle in your body felt heavy, spent, and as you lay there, trying to catch your breath, the reality of what had just transpired began to sink in. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, your heart still pounding in your ears, as you waited for the inevitable.
You braced yourself for the cold distance that you had come to expect from your past—waiting for him to pull away, to turn his back on you, to push you away with a dismissive order, just like your ex-boyfriend used to do. The old fears began to creep back in, threatening to ruin the quiet afterglow that had settled over the room.
But Severus didn’t do that.
Instead, he surprised you. The bed shifted under his weight as he climbed in beside you, and before you could even process what was happening, he gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against his chest. His embrace was firm but comforting, his long, lean body molding perfectly to yours as he held you, his breath warm against your temple.
“Did you like it?” he asked quietly, his deep, monotone voice soft, almost hesitant, as if he were unsure of the answer. His hand came up to stroke your hair, his touch gentle and careful, as if he were afraid of overwhelming you further. You could feel his lips brush against your forehead in a tender kiss, a gesture that was so unexpected, so out of character, that it nearly brought tears to your eyes.
You opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t find the voice to tell him how much his gentleness meant to you, how much his care and concern had touched you. Instead, all you could do was lay there in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear.
When you didn’t respond immediately, Severus tensed slightly, his grip on you loosening as if he feared he had done something wrong. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice filled with quiet regret. “If I was too much… if I pressured you… that was never my intention.”
The sincerity in his words, the genuine worry that laced his tone, sent a wave of emotion crashing over you. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you had to blink rapidly to keep them from falling. The care he was showing you, the way he was so attuned to your feelings, was something you weren’t used to. Your ex-boyfriend had never asked if you were okay, never checked if you were comfortable or happy. But here was Severus, a man who had every reason to be distant and cold, holding you with such tenderness, such concern, that it made your heart ache.
You turned your head slightly, looking up at him through tear-blurred eyes. His dark gaze met yours, and you could see the worry etched into his sharp features, the way his brow furrowed as he waited for your response. He was genuinely concerned for you, genuinely worried that he had done something to hurt you, and the realization was almost too much to bear.
“I…” you began, your voice trembling as you tried to find the right words, but all you could manage was a soft, choked sob as the tears finally spilled over, trailing down your cheeks. “Severus, I… I’ve never…”
You couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t find a way to explain the depth of what you were feeling. But Severus seemed to understand. His expression softened, and he gently wiped the tears from your cheeks with the pad of his thumb, his touch so gentle, so reverent, that it only made you cry harder.
“Shh,” he murmured, his voice soothing as he pressed another kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin. “It’s all right, love. You don’t have to say anything. Just know that I’m here… and I’m not going anywhere.”
The reassurance in his words, the quiet promise that he would stay, that he wouldn’t push you away, was more than you could have ever hoped for. You buried your face in his chest, your tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt as you clung to him, your arms wrapping around his waist in a desperate attempt to hold onto this moment, to hold onto the safety and comfort he was offering you.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest as you tried to control the sobs that threatened to overwhelm you. “I’m sorry for crying… I just… I’m not used to this. To someone caring.”
Severus tightened his hold on you, his hand moving to the back of your head, cradling you against him as he whispered, “You never have to apologize for your feelings, not with me. And you deserve to be cared for, love. You deserve to be treated with kindness… with respect.”
The words sent another wave of emotion crashing over you, and you couldn’t hold back the sobs that shook your body, the raw, unfiltered emotion spilling out of you as you finally allowed yourself to feel the depth of what you had been holding back for so long. Severus held you through it all, his arms wrapped around you, his hand gently stroking your hair as he murmured soft words of comfort, his deep voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves.
When the sobs finally subsided, leaving you exhausted and drained, you pulled back slightly, looking up at Severus through tear-streaked eyes. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice hoarse from crying. “Thank you for… for being so kind. For caring.”
Severus gazed down at you, his dark eyes filled with a warmth that took your breath away. “I care about you more than you know,” he said softly, his voice rough with emotion as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face. “And I will always care. You’re safe with me… always.”
You nodded, unable to find the words to express how much his reassurance meant to you, how much his presence in your life had changed everything. Instead, you simply leaned up and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his lips, pouring all of your gratitude, all of your affection, into that one, simple gesture.
Severus returned the kiss with a tenderness that made your heart swell, his hand coming up to cup the back of your head as he deepened the kiss, his lips moving against yours with a slow, deliberate care that made you feel cherished, adored.
When the kiss finally ended, Severus rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips as he whispered, “You’re incredible, love. So strong… so beautiful. And I’m honored that you’ve allowed me to be a part of your life.”
The sincerity in his voice, the way he spoke those words as if he truly believed them, made your chest tighten with emotion. No one had ever spoken to you like this before, had ever made you feel so valued, so loved.
“Severus,” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion as you looked up at him, your eyes shining with tears. “I… I love you.”
For a moment, Severus didn’t respond. His dark eyes searched yours, as if trying to discern the truth in your words, and when he finally spoke, his voice was filled with a quiet, almost reverent awe. “You love me?”
You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest as you repeated the words, letting them hang in the air between you. “I love you, Severus. I’ve loved you for a long time.”
Severus closed his eyes, a soft, shaky breath escaping his lips as he let the words sink in. When he opened his eyes again, there was a vulnerability in his gaze that took your breath away, a raw, unguarded emotion that he had never allowed you to see before.
“I love you too,” he whispered, his voice filled with a quiet, almost desperate sincerity. “More than I ever thought possible.”
The words were like a balm to your soul, soothing the wounds left by your past, filling the empty spaces in your heart with a warmth that you had never known before. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close as you buried your face in his chest, the sound of his heartbeat steady and strong beneath your ear.
And as Severus held you close, his arms wrapped around you in a protective, comforting embrace, you knew that this was where you were meant to be. In his arms, in his heart, in his life. And for the first time in a long time, you felt truly, deeply loved.
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crowsandkisses · 7 months ago
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De-polute me - Astarion x reader
Note: Astarion means a lot to me as a character and this is kinda based off of my own trauma because I see a lot of myself in him. I also haven't written in a minute so pardon any weird phrasing.
The reader is as vaguely described as I could manage so any and all can enjoy
cw: Trauma, vomit, panic attack.
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Somewhere in the back of his mind, Astarion knew he had to snap out of it. To come back to the present where he lay with his lover. But he couldn’t.
It was like watching the world through water. Everything was the same but somehow not. Like there was a distance and the other side held a place where he couldn’t survive right now. Where the air would leave his lungs with no way of replenishing itself. That he would choke on what he was faced with.
He watched how you slept, chest slowly rising and falling in the dim light of the fire. Still in a state of undress.
His eyes lingered on the bite on your neck. Two little puncture marks that had been reopened by his fangs so often they’d started to scar.
It made his stomach twist and turn, bile rising up his throat as he zeroed in on these tiny wounds. 
He felt filthy for having left them there, even though you’d assured him time and again that it was alright. Sometimes you even enjoyed it.
But he couldn’t think of anything but how much of a parasite he was. 
Leeching off of your goodwill and kindness, repaying you with his body because it was the only way he knew how. To lie on his back, purr some pretty phrases and slot into that old, familiar role of seductive pretty boy.
He had to give something back. He had to. Otherwise you’d likely come to demand payment regardless. Everyone always did. No kindness was just done for the sake of being kind.
His stomach turned again as guilt set in, draping over his shoulders like a heavy blanket. He knew he shouldn’t think these things of you but he couldn’t help it. 
Quietly, he rose from his spot next to you. A place he didn’t feel should belong to him. Hells, he had seen the way Gale looked at you when he thought no one else paid attention. He could give the gentle kind of love Astarion felt incapable of.
He could grant you warmth Astarion didn’t possess. He could cook for you, share a meal, not have to leech off your body to keep himself alive.
Astarion walked a distance further into the treeline and all at once, his body lurched and his last meal found itself on the forest floor. He gagged and retched, tears flowing down his cheeks from discomfort and humiliation. 
His pride felt wounded as he emptied his stomach, spitting after to try and clear the sour, copper taste from his mouth. He still stood bent over, vision blurred with tears as he fought a sob.
Suddenly he felt like a child again, desperately longing for his mother, who’s face he’d all but forgotten. He let himself cry, granting himself the luxury of it. His shoulders shook, his fangs sinking into his bottom lip as all the negative thoughts filled his head like a storm. 
Then suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, a soft voice taking him out of his head. He jerked up as if burned. He whirled around, furious he’d been caught unaware, without his knife. What if it was-
But whatever imagined horror he conjured up was nothing compared to the horror that the person who crept up on him was you.
His heart hammered against his ribs and he could hear his blood rush in his ears, vision going blurry at the edges. His breaths came stunted and he was only vaguely aware that you were speaking. But still, he felt like he was watching things through water, only this time he was drowning.
Like an animal fueled by instinct, he stepped back. He didn’t want you to touch him. For him to taint you further. He was trying to find words to say but the panic was too great.
For a moment, he thought he was about to die. That somehow, inexplicably, this would be the end of him. To die in a forest, in his own sick because he was caught in a moment of weakness .
A perfectly humiliating end to the life of a parasite of no consequence. A man who’d been so corrupt it nearly cost him his life only to be reduced to nothing but a pretty face and a willing cock. All to lead people into their untimely death, like the monster he was. A pretty face with a rotten core.
He didn’t realize he was saying these things aloud, nor that he was crying until your hand gingerly wiped his tears away. He flinched and he saw the heartbreak on your face, another twist of the dagger that had lodged itself into his chest. 
“Breathe.”
The one word cut through the fog in his head and somehow he willed himself to obey your gently spoken command. The first breath in was stunted, like a small child after a crying fit. But breathing was easy enough to do, a simple thing to focus on for just a moment as he found the hurt, humiliation and pain he felt.
In, out. In. Hold. Out.
In. Hold. Out.
In. Out
He calmed down slowly, his vision sharpening, his heart slowing down.
And there you stood, eyes trained on him with a look of concern in your eyes. 
His first instinct was anger. He already had a cutting remark on his tongue but he swallowed it. 
You were worried about him. You were just trying to help. 
“Are you okay?”
Astarion found himself bristling again at the comment, righting his back and pointing his chin, as if he had any pride left to hold onto. As if you didn’t just see him in the middle of a panic attack because god forbid you saw him as weak.
“I’m fine.” He lied, hating how unsteady his voice sounded. 
You looked at him in a way that let on you were the farthest thing from fooled and he didn’t want to give up the game. To tear himself open, cry into your arms like a small part of him wanted to.
Eventually, you nodded.
“Can I touch you?’
The simple question knocked the wind out of him. A simple ask of consent disarmed him fully and he wanted to loathe himself for it again but couldn’t. He was so tired.
“Please.” Came his reply. Soft and pained as he finally stopped fighting himself. 
You had barely embraced him when a new torrent of tears came. He buried his face in the junction of where your neck met your shoulder. A place he was intimately familiar with, but right now it wasn’t about sating his hunger. He felt your hand gently stroke his back as you comforted him.
Years of habit made him wonder when you’d use this against him but he did his best to ignore the thought. Instead focusing on the here and now. On the smell of your skin, how soft and warm you felt against him, of the sound of your voice as you told him he was alright. That you were there.
And for a moment, Astarion allowed himself to feel it.
To feel safe.
He felt the urge to be sick again.
Despite himself, he breathed deep like he had earlier, his crying slowing to a soft sniveling. He untangled himself from your embrace, your eyes still on him. He couldn’t bare to meet your gaze, clearing his throat as he studied the forest floor beneath your feet.
“Is there anything you need?” You asked and the question seemed a little absurd to him. He quietly shook his head.
“If it’s all the same to you, darling, I would like to go back to bed. And not speak of this again.”
His tone was a little harsh but you seemed to not take offense. You merely gave him the ghost of a smile.
“Come. I have a waterskin so you can rinse your mouth.” you said, half turning to the campsite. 
Astarion nodded. He wanted to say thank you but the words rested heavy on his tongue only for them to die there. 
In silence, the pair made their way back to the fire. With that frustratingly soft look on your face, you handed him your waterskin.
Astarion rinsed his mouth, relieved to no longer taste blood for a moment. He handed it back to you before quietly settling in so you could sleep and he could close his eyes for a moment.
Then tomorrow you could both pack up your things and move on to the next place. Kill what needed killing and pretend to be heroes.
“Would it be alright if I held you?”
Astarion looked up, surprised because despite himself, he was already getting back into his own head. He deflected it, as he usually did.
“Cannot get enough of me, darling?” The words, even if they were meant in jest, rang a little hollow. You gave him a look and he simply nodded, almost reluctantly settling in your arms.
He focused on the sound of your heartbeat, the rhythm of it lulling him into something close to comfort. He heard your breaths slow, sleep dragging you back into the land of dreams.
Astarion’s own eyes grew heavy as he settled against you, And for a moment, despite the fact the gods had never listened, he found himself thanking them for making someone like you.
Because even if he still had a long road to go, you made him feel a little less like a monster, and a little more like Astarion Ancunin.
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fortunxa · 23 days ago
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The symbol
Jinx x fem!reader
summary: “Piltover saw her as a terrorist, and Zaun’s rhetoric had twisted her into a martyr while she was still alive. She was a ghost haunting two cities, a myth both sides needed alive or dead.” Jinx. The loose cannon. The symbol.
cw: angst, >4k words, buckle up
author’s note: This whole fanfic is based off of ONE (1) clip of Jinx looking sad in the s2 trailer, call me dramatic.
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At first, it was animosity that sparked between Jinx and you—a collision of egos in a city that thrived on confrontation. You weren’t a stranger to her troublemaker reputation, nor were you safe from her seemingly endless pranks. Your every encounter was charged, filled with barbed comments and sharp glances. She reveled in your irritation, finding joy in ruffling your feathers.
Yet each time you clashed, you also learned a little more about each other. Your differences started sparking curiosity instead of just annoyance, and beneath the surface, something began to shift. There were moments when you caught a glimpse of the vulnerability that lurked behind Jinx’s bravado—a fleeting expression that hinted at a deeper story.
As the weeks turned into months, the sharp edges of your relationship began to soften. Your bickering became more playful, the insults laced with laughter rather than anger. Slowly, what had once been hatred turned into friendship. You became an unlikely duo, navigating the mayhem of Zaun side by side. Jinx introduced you to a world of spontaneity and mischief. She taught you how to embrace the chaos rather than fear it. In return, you grounded her, offering a safe space amidst the storms of her life—a place where she could let her guard down. Where she was wild, you were steady; and together, you balanced each other out.
It was only a matter of time before your friendship gave way to something more complex, of course. You spent countless nights together, talking until dawn, revealing pieces of yourselves you had long kept hidden, and sharing dreams that stretched beyond the gritty streets of Zaun.
Jinx carried a lot of scars, some visible, most hidden. You never pushed, never demanded to know the whole story, never made her relive it, never asked for more than she was ready to give. You had a quiet understanding of her, a patience that she found both infuriating and comforting. She wasn’t used to people sticking around, and she didn’t think she could care about someone like that again. But you made her believe, if only for a moment, that there was something more to life than just survival. You would sit beside her, stitching up wounds in silence, your touch gentle and reassuring. You knew how to handle her moods, the unpredictable bursts of frustration. You never tried to fix it. You just were. And somehow, that was enough.
But that was before Jinx blew up half the council, and everything went to shit.
“You have the chance to rally the undercity together.” You can still recall Sevika’s words. “You’re a symbol.” And you almost scoffed at the idea. Your Jinx becoming a symbol for the city that villainized her to no end? They didn’t deserve that. How could they, after already dooming her once before? But sticking inaccurate labels was their forte. In the end, this one stuck, too.
And so Jinx disappeared beneath the weight of their faith.
For Zaunites, she had become more than just a rogue with a penchant for destruction—she really was a symbol, a rallying cry against the oppression of Piltover. They thought she fought for them, for a cause bigger than herself.
But she never asked for any of it. She never wanted to be anyone’s icon. You knew that better than anyone.
To her, it was just noise.
Your Jinx never cared about the revolution—not in the way people expected her to, anyway. She wasn’t in it for justice or freedom. Her motives were rooted in something far more personal: revenge. She had no grand vision, no dreams of liberation. All she had was the cold satisfaction of making Piltover suffer the way it made her suffer. She wanted to tear apart the illusion of perfection that cloaked the grand City of Progress, to make its citizens feel the same fear and destruction that had once consumed her. It was the only time she felt in control. In the chaos, she could forget the nightmares, the past, and even herself for a while. She could become the whirlwind, unstoppable and feared, rather than the broken girl who used to beg for things to make sense.
Yet now, Zaun saw her as its hero. Its champion. And Jinx couldn’t stand it. The citizens looked to her like she had some grand plan, like she would lead them to independence. The weight of their expectations pressed down on her, suffocating her more than any chain or cell ever could.
On the flip side, the enforcers wanted her dead. Posters with her face plastered the city, patrols hunted her down relentlessly, and there was nowhere left to hide. She was clever and cunning, but there were only so many laps she could run around them before her lungs would give out.
So, you did your best to push Jinx to stay one step ahead of everyone trying to either kill her or claim her. You dealt with the little things—finding safehouses when it was too dangerous to stay in one place, gathering supplies, and making sure she had somewhere to disappear when things got too heated. You were resourceful, calm under pressure, and always thinking ahead. But how could you be anything else in those dire times? You couldn’t afford to falter. Not now. Not when Jinx needed you to stay afloat. You had unwavering loyalty despite the harsh words that slipped past her lips when her emotions overflowed. Beneath it all, she was still the same girl—the one who still dreamed of something better, who still laughed with you in the quiet moments, who still loved you.
You could see her exhaustion, the way her mask would crack just a little when she came back home bruised from another close call with the enforcers. And you’d hold her during those times, let her cry and sob and shake in your arms. It was just the two of you—she was safe. But no matter how real and vulnerable she was in the small hours of the night, the morning always came, and with it, the chaos behind Jinx’s name.
And in that chaos, she would live. And in that chaos, she would die, little by little.
Piltover saw her as a terrorist, and Zaun’s rhetoric had twisted her into a martyr while she was still alive. She was a ghost haunting two cities, a myth both sides needed alive or dead.
And in all of it, Jinx wanted nothing more than to disappear—to vanish from the world she had once desperately tried to belong to. She wasn’t anyone’s leader or scapegoat—she didn’t even want to be remembered. She was just tired. Tired of running, tired of being the person they all demanded her to be. You could see it in the way she looked at you sometimes, like she wanted to say something, like she was planning a way out that didn’t involve pulling you down with her. But you had made your choice a long time ago. You weren’t going anywhere, you wouldn’t walk away from her.
“Whatever happens, I’m here,” you’d tell her when the world outside felt too loud. “I’m not leaving.” And the tension in Jinx’s body unwinded, even if just a little, as if those simple words were the only thing keeping her grounded. It was in those moments that you knew you were doing something right, even if you couldn’t fight her battles for her.
At night, when the adrenaline of violence faded, she was haunted by the memories—ghosts of those she’d lost, faces of the people she had once loved, and the echoes of a life she could never return to. The nightmares were relentless, dragging her back to the moment when everything fell apart. She would wake drenched in sweat, hands shaking, reaching for a gun or a bomb that wasn’t there. No amount of chaos in the streets could drown out the chaos in her own mind. The terror that gripped her in her dreams was not something she could outrun or fight. It clung to her like a second skin, a constant reminder that no matter how much destruction she caused, it would never be enough. She was still the broken girl beneath the explosions and the mayhem. Or that’s what she thought of herself, at least.
And there was no way out. Not anymore.
“It almost feels like the only way for you to find peace is through death,” you worriedly whispered once as you cradled her in your arms. “And I can’t have that,” you added, but Jinx’s mind was already reeling. Unbeknownst to you, she had thought about it more than once. Ending it all in one final explosion, letting the flames consume her just like they had consumed her heart so long ago. It would be easy. One pull of the trigger, one detonation, and it would all be over.
But even death had a bitter edge, and the question that haunted her, night after night, was whether even death would be enough to set her free. Or would they find a way to twist that, too, turning her final act into another legend for the revolution? Paint her as the glorious martyr who died for Zaun’s freedom?
Jinx didn’t know.
And that uncertainty kept her alive, if only for a little while longer, though she didn’t know why—she couldn’t even die on her own terms. The irony made her laugh sometimes, in the moments when the absurdity of it all was too much to bear.
If she was going to die, she would make sure they all remembered why she had never been their hero, why she had never fought for anyone but herself.
And so it started with a bang—because of course it did.
But this time felt different. There was something almost methodical about the way Jinx moved, the way she set her traps, as if she knew this was the last time she would walk these streets. The last time her bombs would rip through the orderly facade of the City of Progress.
She didn’t laugh as much that day. The usual gleam in her eyes was dimmer, her movements more controlled. The sun was setting, casting a harsh golden glow over Piltover’s spires as Jinx climbed to the top of a high rooftop, overlooking the heart of the city. This is where it will happen, she thought. The grand finale. She had spent weeks preparing. Every bomb was precisely placed, every escape route meticulously planned. The city was on high alert—word had spread that Jinx was planning something big. But no one knew exactly where, or when, the storm would hit.
The first explosion tore through the night just as the clock struck midnight. Fire lit up the streets below, throwing debris into the sky while the enforcers scrambled to contain the damage. Then came the second explosion, larger, closer to the city’s industrial district. Smoke filled the air as panic spread through Piltover like wildfire. The citizens ran in every direction, knowing that when Jinx was involved, no place was safe.
She stood on the rooftop, watching the chaos unfold beneath her. She felt nothing. No excitement, no satisfaction. This wasn’t the same thrill she used to chase. Her fingers hovered over the detonator for the final bomb—the biggest one, the one that would make the others look like fireworks. She had rigged it to collapse an entire section of the city, to leave Piltover scarred in a way it would never forget.
But tonight wasn’t about the explosion. It wasn’t about the destruction.
The enforcers were closing in. She could see them swarming through the streets below, moving toward her position. They had found her. They always did, eventually. Jinx glanced at the timer on the last bomb. She had set it for just long enough to make her escape—or so they would think. But the truth was, there wouldn’t be an escape tonight.
When the enforcers reached the rooftop, they found her standing there, framed against the night sky, the city burning below her. The air was thick with smoke, and in the chaos, they barely noticed the subtle smile that crossed her face.
“Time’s up,” she said softly, her voice lost in the wind.
She pressed the detonator.
The explosion was deafening, a wall of fire and debris engulfing the rooftop in an instant. The force of it sent the enforcers flying, tearing through the structures around them. When the dust settled, the building was gone—obliterated along with everything and everyone on it.
The news spread fast.
Jinx is dead.
There was no body left to recover, no remains to mourn, and no trace of her. Just the rubble of the building she had destroyed and the twisted wreckage of her devices. The enforcers confirmed it—there was no way she could have survived.
“Target neutralized” were the words bitterly spoken through the ranks with a cold efficiency. There was no name attached, but everyone knew who it was about. The official statement came shortly after: “A threat to the city has been eliminated.”
Days passed and Piltover began to rebuild, as it always did after Jinx’s attacks, the destruction slowly being replaced with gleaming new structures. Streets were cleared, debris removed, and life returned to a semblance of normalcy. There were no coffins for the fallen enforcers whose bodies were lost to the fire—only statues erected in their names, cold monuments serving as both tribute and reminder of the price paid for order. The city moved on—or at least tried to. Some celebrated, cautiously, though few were willing to believe the news completely. There had been too many close calls, too many times they thought they had her. But this time, it felt different. This time, the destruction had swallowed her whole, leaving behind an eerie silence where her chaotic laughter once echoed.
Zaun, on the other hand? That was a little bit more complicated. For the people who had seen her as a reckless force that harmed their city as much as Piltover did, her death came as a relief, and her absence promised a fragile peace, however fleeting. But to others, the more sensitive ones, tears had to be shed, heads shaking in disbelief. Candlelit vigils appeared in the undercity, graffiti of her wild grin painted on the walls. People would whisper, looking for the next symbol for their revolution—anything and anyone they could place their hopes on. Amidst this emotional turbulence, a third reaction emerged from the more organized factions who saw it as the opportunity they had been waiting for. With Jinx gone, they could finally rise to the storefront. The power vacuum left in her wake ignited their ambitions, and the streets buzzed with the promise of a new era, one that could either heal the wounds of the past or plunge the city into an even deeper turmoil.
The cities spoke of heroes and villains, grappling with the complexities of Jinx’s legacy—a legacy that blurred the lines between destruction and freedom, chaos and control.
That being said, everything unfolded exactly as she had predicted, but the victory felt almost hollow.
“It almost feels like the only way for you to find peace is through death.” And it really was, so she had faked it perfectly. The plan was reckless, audacious—everything she embodied. The explosion had served as the perfect cover, and in that moment of chaos, she had slipped through the cracks, hidden among the shadows of her own creation.
For Jinx, this was not just an escape; it was a calculated act of liberation. Her liberation. The city that had once been her playground had turned into a gilded cage, and she had grown tired of the endless games of cat and mouse.
Now standing on the edge of the city, Zaun stretches out before her like a memory she can’t quite shake. Her eyes trace the tangled streets below, the dark alleyways, the flickering lights, and the twisted pipes, burning the sight into memory. She inhales deeply, her nostrils filling up with the familiar smell of smoke and oil. A wave of nostalgia washes over her. She can almost hear the echoes of laughter and the distant sounds of explosions that had once filled her days with exhilaration. A tear wells up in her eye, but she blinks it away, wiping at her eyes quickly, almost angrily. Jinx doesn’t cry. Not for anyone. Not for anything.
Not anymore.
With a heavy heart, she grips the railing tighter, her knuckles turning white as the memories swirl like smoke around her before she relaxes—a conscious decision.
“I’ll miss you, you filthy, broken place.” She chuckles dryly. She had spent years running wild here, feeling untouchable. But now, it’s time to go. “You were everything, and yet, you were never enough.” The words hang in the air, a promise to herself that she would carry the spirit of Zaun wherever she went, even as she turns her back on it. Her heart clenches, a strange ache settling in her chest as she realizes this could be the last time she’d see it—the city that had been her home and her battlefield.
“Are you sure you want to do this?" you ask, your voice soft and gentle. “You’d be leaving everyone behind.” The blue-haired girl knows exactly who you mean by that.
Vi.
Jinx could almost see it—her paling face when she heard the news, the way her fists clenched and her heart broke, crumbling beneath the grief, believing that her little sister was gone forever. The thought cut deep, deeper than Jinx was ready to admit. Vi had been her everything once. And after everything they’d been through, after everything they’d lost, Jinx hated herself for causing her more pain, for inflicting yet another wound—and this time, it’s a wound that’ll never quite heal, the cruelest cut of them all. A part of her wanted to run back. To find Vi and tell her the truth. To stay.
But Jinx knew that wasn’t an option.
Not now.
So why does it feel like she’s tearing herself apart?
The soft touch of a hand on her shoulder brings her back to the present. She turns, meeting your gaze. You stand beside her, quiet but steady, the anchor she didn’t know she needed until she had found it. She takes a shuddering breath.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” you ask again, your voice filled with nothing but understanding. You know how hard this is for Jinx, how torn she really feels.
She swallows hard, glancing back at the city one more time. It all feels so distant, yet so close—like she can reach out and touch it, like she can run back and undo it all if she tries hard enough. But she can’t. She pictures Vi again, her strong, fierce sister who had always fought for her, always believed she could be saved. Jinx hated the thought of what this would do to her, of the hole it would leave in her heart. But deep down, she knew she couldn’t be the person Vi wanted her to be. Not yet. She had tried. She had failed. And now, she has to move on, even if it means breaking the last connection she has to her past.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” Jinx whispers, her voice catching in her throat. You nod, your expression softening even further as your hand intertwines with hers, and the warmth of your touch reminds her why she’s leaving—for a chance to start over. To be something else, someone else, outside of the chaos and violence that had defined her for so long.
Vi would survive, like she always had. She would grieve, but she would move on. And in time, Jinx hoped that she’d understand why she had to go.
“I just don’t want her to hate me.” Her voice is small, almost fragile as the confession falls from her lips before she can stop it, the rawness of her words cutting through the silence. You frown as you take a step closer, pulling her into a gentle embrace.
“She won’t hate you,” you murmur against her hair. “She’ll hurt, she’ll be angry, but she’ll never hate you. Vi loves you, Jinx.” She leans into you, burying her face in your shoulder for a moment, letting herself feel the comfort she so desperately needs.
“I just wish I could explain.” The angry tears threaten to spill out again. “I wish I could tell her why I had to do this.”
“She knows.” You can only hug her tighter now, hoping it’ll keep her from falling apart.
Slowly, she pulls back, her breath still shaky but steadier now. “I guess it’s too late to change my mind, huh?” she asks with a weak smile, though her heart isn’t in it.
“This doesn’t have to be permanent, you know? We can always come back when the time is ready.” Jinx nods, but the guilt still gnaws at her, sharp and relentless.
Turning fully toward the road ahead, her hand finds yours again as she laces your fingers together like an unspoken promise. “Let’s go,” she says, her voice almost resolute as if she’s still trying to convince herself that this is the right thing to do.
Jinx’s heart aches for what she’s leaving behind as the both of you walk away from Zaun. But then she glances at you, walking calmly by her side, and—albeit briefly—she feels a sense of peace. For the first time in a long time, she isn’t running alone. She isn’t running from something either, despite the way it seems. She’s running toward something—a life she could build, not destroy, with someone who sees her for more than the broken pieces. Someone who’s willing to leave everything behind to be with her.
You give her hand another gentle squeeze, pulling her out of her thoughts. “We’re almost there,” you say softly, gesturing toward the darkened outskirts of the city where the world feels smaller, where the noise of Zaun fades into a distant hum. Beyond it, freedom awaits—freedom from the past, from the wreckage you’re leaving behind.
The night stretches out before you, vast and uncertain. Jinx had never been good with the unknown; she thrived on chaos, on knowing how to manipulate it. But this? Walking away from everything she’d ever known, stepping into a future that isn’t filled with explosions and destruction—it terrifies her.
But it’s also the only thing that makes sense anymore.
You lean closer, your warmth cutting through the chill of the night. “You don’t have to look back if you don’t want to.” She wants to look back. She wants to go back. But she knows it wouldn’t do any good. So she straightens up, fixing her cloak and pulling the hood further over her head.
“I’m not going to,” she replies, her voice firmer now. “I’ve spent enough time looking back.” You nod in understanding. You had talked about this moment for weeks now, about what it would mean for Jinx to truly let go of Zaun, of everything she had once believed she needed to hold on to. It isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.
Finally, you reach the edge, where the lights of the city flicker out entirely, swallowed by the darkness of the wilds beyond.
This is it. The point of no return.
Jinx turns to you, searching your face for strength, for the resolve she so desperately needs. And there it is, shining back at her. She feels the tension in her chest begin to loosen, the weight of her decision finally starting to lift. She can almost taste the adrenaline, the sweet rush of possibility that awaits her beyond the city’s borders—no rules, no limits, and most importantly, no one hunting her down.
The two of you step into the darkness together, the twisted streets and memories of Zaun falling away with each step until all that’s left is the quiet sound of your breathing, the crunch of gravel beneath your feet, and the sense that something new is beginning. She feels something unfamiliar, something almost foreign—hope. It flickers faintly deep inside her, small but real, growing with every step she takes.
Jinx doesn’t look back. She doesn’t need to. She’s finally moving forward.
And as you disappear into the night, a thought echoes in her mind, settling like a truth she can’t ignore.
Nothing ever stays dead.
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vilevenom · 6 months ago
Text
This bad boy is dedicated to @em-doods, because her adorable sketches of Hickory and John Dory meandering through the woods 100% are the reason I wrote this. (She also helped push me through a rather rough patch I had while writing the first bit, so a super extra special thank you there!!)
If given the chance I will write Hickory and John Dory getting together in every conceivable fashion. In this fic, they go camping.
Enjoy!!
"I've never been campin'."
"What?!" John stared wide eyed at Hickory, who looked somewhat bashful at his admittance.
"Well, I mean…I've been campin', but not, y'know, camping," Hickory unhelpfully tried to clarify while John Dory continued to stare at him in disbelief. He sighed, scratching at his cheek as he tried to think of a way to better explain himself. "Dickory an' I would need to camp out once in a blue moon, y'know, when we were out on a hunt. But it was never the kinda campin' where you get to roast marshtatoes or go swimmin'. It was just basic survival."
"Well, I can't let that stand," John said, smacking the table they were sat at with gusto, making Hickory jump. "No way. Camping, proper camping, is one of the best experiences in the world! I don't think I can let you go another second without experiencing the wonders of camping."
And that was how Hickory found himself staring out Rhonda's front window as John drove her into wilderness unlike any he'd seen before. The troll kingdoms were beautiful and unique in their own ways, but this place was truly something else. Rhonda ducked under gnarled branches and crawled through twisting vines, with John confidently at her helm, a broad smile on his face as he described to Hickory where he was taking them. The Neverglade trail, apparently, had all of the best camping spots, and he knew just the one that Hickory would enjoy.
Hickory felt like he was going to be sick, though he plastered a pleasant smile onto his face and nodded along every time John glanced at him while he excitedly spoke about where they were headed. It wasn't that Hickory didn't want to go camping with John. Oh, no. It was the exact opposite, really. He'd been looking forward to this trip since John had declared they were going a few days prior. It was the fact that it was just the two of them. Alone. Together. It made Hickory's heart jump into his throat and his palms sweat.
Thinking back on it, Hickory came to realize that he and John Dory had only really known each other for a handful of months. They'd met when Hickory had gone to Pop Village with the intention of visiting Poppy and Branch, only to find the royal couple surrounded by a group of trolls quickly revealed to be their siblings. Swiftly, Hickory had been introduced to all of Branch's brothers, and Poppy's sister, all while beginning to feel a touch overwhelmed by the new mix of personalities. Not quite sure what to say or how to act, Hickory began to flounder, when one of Branch's brothers had tugged him aside with an easy smile.
"We're a lot, huh?"
"I mean, I dunno if I'd say that, exactly," Hickory had started to demure, only to grunt in surprise as John Dory slapped a hand to his back with a guffaw.
"You don't need to be shy, man. We all know we're a lot. Big personalities," John had reassured, sliding his hand up to rest on Hickory's shoulder. "I know you're here to visit with Branch, but how about we get out of here? I happen to know that everyone else will be buggering off here pretty soon, so you'll have a chance for some one on one time with him and Poppy, but probably not for a couple hours. You can show me around town? I assume you've been here before. I've been here for a whopping three days, so I have no idea where anything is."
Hickory hadn't even realized his shoulders had been tense until they began to relax as John spoke to him. He let a slight smile curl his lips and gave a little nod. "Yeah. I can do that," he easily agreed, tucking his thumbs into his belt loops as they began to walk away from the cluster of trolls.
They'd spent the next couple of hours getting to know each other, and, quite frankly, Hickory couldn't help but to be charmed. John Dory was brash and confident in a way that made him laugh, but was also, somehow surprisingly, incredibly kindhearted.
As they were walking through town, a couple of young trollings had dashed in front of them, only for one to trip and fall directly in front of John Dory. Hickory had fully expected John to, perhaps, help the trolling up and for them to continue on their way, but instead he'd crouched down to the child's level to make sure they were okay. When it was revealed that the trolling had a scrape on their knee, John dug into his hair, pulled out a band-aid, and applied it to the injury without batting an eye. Hickory then watched in amusement as John scooped the kid up into his arms and spun around while theatrically wondering where the trolling's friend could have gone. They, of course, had been right behind John, giggling manically as the teal troll continued to spin and pretend he couldn't see them. Finally, he placed the injured child down, and the two all but begged John to go play with them.
"Sorry, I can't. See this guy behind me," John thrust his thumb over his shoulder towards Hickory, who gave them a little wave "He's my tour guide. And I can't just let him go on touring by himself."
The children whined at him while Hickory chuckled at their antics, but John ultimately encouraged them to continue on with their game, which they reluctantly did when it became obvious that John was just this side of too stubborn for them to persuade.
"That was mighty kind of you," Hickory hummed as they began to walk through the village again.
"Hm? Was it? I dunno," John said with a self depreciating little laugh and a shrug of his shoulders, "Just seemed natural to me. But, that probably comes from being the oldest of five. Lots of bumps and scrapes to take care of when they come running to you for comfort."
Hickory decided to side-step the comment about John's brothers going to him, rather than their parents. He was sure there was a story there, but it sounded like one for another time. "So…Yer the oldest brother, huh?"
John snorted, shoving Hickory playfully with an sheepish grin. "Yes. What's it to ya?"
"Not much. Just didn't much figure Branch havin' a silver fox for a siblin'."
"Silver-?! I am NOT that old. Do you see any grey hair here?!" John huffed, puffing out his chest and pulled his goggles up to show off his very teal roots, earning a laugh from Hickory. "If you must know, Branch is about fourteen years younger than me. The rest are all in between."
"Ah, can't remember with yer ancient brain? Ya need help rememberin', old man? I can always go find one of yer brothers, if ya need assistance."
"That is just uncalled for," John sniffed, looking affronted. Hickory worried for a moment that he'd taken a step too far in his teasing, when John snorted and deflated a bit. "I am getting old, aren't I?"
Hickory clicked his tongue, quickly realizing he had hit a nerve, but not the one he'd thought. "John, if I may, an' if my math is right, yer only thirty-eight. That ain't that old," Hickory reassured, offering a warm smile to the teal troll, "Yer only a few years older than I am, an' I certainly ain't old."
"Oh, yeah? And how old is the whipper snapper?" John joked, obviously lightened a bit by Hickory's reassurance.
"Thirty-two."
"Ah, you're between Clay and Floyd," John hummed, though the comment was obviously directed more towards himself.
Their conversation ebbed and flowed easily as they continued to walk through the village, Hickory occasionally pointing out landmarks or buildings he knew, while John Dory made comments here and there about how different the village was from the tree he's grown up in. He also made a point to let Hickory know that he'd obviously need to get another tour through town, what with his poor old memory not being quite what it used to be. Hickory was fairly certain he'd never had such entertaining conversation with another troll.
Eventually, they wandered back to Branch's bunker, where John bid Hickory adieu with a rather ridiculous and dramatic bow before going on his way, while Hickory descended into the bunker to have his intended visit with Branch and Poppy.
Their catching up truthfully didn't get very far before the topic of the royal couple's recent adventure and estranged siblings came up, and Hickory mindlessly blurted out, "So…what's yer brother like?"
"…which one?" Branch said with a snort, arching an eyebrow at the ex-bounty hunter.
"John Dory."
Branch seemed to think for a moment, while Poppy gave Hickory an awkward smile. "He's an obnoxious, self-centered know-it-all."
Hickory blinked, quite taken aback by Branch's opinion of his brother. "Really? I never woulda guessed that by the way he was actin' today…"
"Well, to be honest, he may be my brother, but I don't really know him that well. We haven't seen each other in twenty years, but that's the impression I've gotten of him so far," Branch said with a quiet sigh. "He'll be staying in Pop Village for a while, since Floyd is recovering. Maybe if I give him some time, my opinion will change? But, that's what I've got for now."
Hickory hummed thoughtfully, and decided he would give it some time, as well. He bounced back and forth between Lonesome Flats and Pop Village over the next few months, and never once did John Dory give Hickory the impression of being self-centered, nor did he ever become obnoxious. In fact, he continued to prove the exact opposite. Nearly every time Hickory visited, John was with Branch, Floyd, or both, supporting his younger brothers in whatever they might need. And whenever Hickory made himself known, John offered to make himself scarce so Hickory could visit with Branch unimpeded. Eventually, however, Hickory had to reveal that he'd been intending to visit John the entire time, and that had been something of an awkward chat in and of itself. The sheer surprise that had shown on John's face when Hickory admitted that he wanted to spend more time with John had certainly made his heart twist in an unexpected way.
In the end, the longer Hickory spent with John Dory, the more he seemed to develop a rather inconvenient crush on the teal troll. Especially when he did things as sweet and thoughtful as remembering Hickory had casually mentioned once that he had a soft spot for a particular cupcake made by one particular stand in the market, but he was never early enough to get one. John had presented one to Hickory with a proud little grin on his face the next time the country troll visited. Or the way he obviously thought about Hickory even when they weren't together, as on one occasion when he'd trotted up to Hickory and presented him with a rather fancy looking silver belt buckle emblazoned with intricate little flower patterns. He'd said he'd picked it up in his travels and was going to toss it away, but perhaps Hickory would like it, instead?
Now, most trolls would probably consider such actions to be relatively basic indications of friendship. However, Hickory had had so few friends, or trolls who cared for him (and not a character he and his brother created) that he couldn't help but feel special when John gave him his undivided attention. And he had a sneaking suspicion that John Dory was much the same.
He mentioned the incidents to Poppy and Branch the next time he sat down with them to chat, the former of whom cooed happily at the revelation, while the later gagged quietly.
"I…I think he's got my heart all a flutter. What do I do?" Hickory asked, head in his hands where he sat at Branch's kitchen table. He felt like a little kid, telling his friends about a crush he had on some troll well out of his league. He felt especially foolish that said friend was his crushes younger brother, who was watching him with a wrinkled nose.
"Why are you asking me? At this point, I'm pretty convinced that you know JD better than I do," Branch said with a slight grimace.
"Oh, that's so cute," Poppy gushed, waving her hands at Hickory as he glanced up at her with a long suffering sigh. "Don't give me that look. It is! I've seen you two walking around town together."
"We certainly get along like a house on fire, but I don't know what to do. I haven't done this in a while. Least, not properly," Hickory sighed, slumping onto the table they were sat around.
"I don't know, man. Talk to him about camping? That seems to be one of his favorite things," Branch offered with a shrug. "Maybe that'll help lead the conversation into something?"
And Hickory had, which did indeed lead to this whole escapade in the first place. Perhaps it would allow him the opportunity to talk to the teal troll about his feelings. If he could work up the courage to do so, that is. Especially with the discouraging little voice in the back of his head that kept telling him that if the conversation went south, he was either going to be left in the wilderness on his own, or have a very awkward trip back to Pop Village.
"How much further are we gonna haveta go to get to this mysterious campin' spot a' yers?" Hickory asked, arching an eyebrow as John turned Rhonda down yet another trail.
"Oh, not too much further, I don't think," John hummed with a smile, shooting Hickory a wink that made the ex-bounty hunter need to immediately step away to try and hide the blush that bloomed across his cheeks.
They drove in relative silence for a few more minutes, before John finally pulled Rhonda over, and Hickory managed to calm himself down enough that his cheeks were no longer enflamed.
"Here we are!" John declared, as he spun the drivers seat around to grin widely at Hickory, who offered a slightly mollified one of his own. "Now, grab your gear, we've got a bit of a hike."
"Wait, this isn't where we're campin'?" Hickory asked, watching John pull an overstuffed backpack with a sleeping roll tied to it from atop his loft bed.
"What? No, of course not. You can't get a full and proper camping experience if we're staying in Rhonda. That's, like…'glamping', or whatever. No, if you want a proper camping trip, we gotta hike a bit further in and set up tents!" John exclaimed excitedly, pulling the straps of his bag over his shoulders.
"If ya say so," Hickory said with an awkward chuckle, grabbing his much smaller bag and sleeping roll from where he'd stashed them and following John out of Rhonda.
"Now, you be a good girl," John cooed at Rhonda as Hickory stepped up behind him, "There are lots of berry bushes here, so there's loads to eat. You make sure you're back here in a couple of days, okay?" Hickory watched in amusement as John half wrapped himself around the armadillo bus's face in the closest approximation of a hug as he could get as she churred at him happily.
"Y'sure it's okay t' just leave her here?" Hickory asked as they began to walk away, the ex-bounty hunter shooting Rhonda furtive glances the further away from her they got.
"Oh, yeah. She's a good girl. Even if she's not there when we get back, she usually comes when I call, or we'll just need to wait a day or two when we get back," John reassured, as Hickory watched the energetic bus dart off into some bushes.
"…right."
And so on they went, Hickory diligently following along behind John, until he inevitably got distracted by the massive trees and flora they were hiking past. To the rather unfortunate point where John disappeared beyond a bend before Hickory had even realized he'd been left behind.
"Hey, John, have ya ever-" he'd begun as he turned from staring at a large, drooping orange flower, only to find himself completely alone. "…John?" Hickory tentatively took a few steps forward, glancing this way and that to see if he could spot the teal troll, without luck. "Sugar," he grumbled to himself, unsure if he should proceed forward, or wait to see if John would notice his absence and turn back around to find him.
Just as he turned to sit himself beneath the flower he'd gotten distracted by, a rustling in the bush startled him into pulling a knife from his pocket and brandishing it with a snarl on his face. John had warned him, at one point on their drive here, that wild critters of all shapes and sizes roamed the Neverglades, and that he should be wary of being snuck up on, lest he be eaten. John had said it like it was a joke, but Hickory had noticed the scars John's fur hadn't quite fully grown over. He had no doubt there were plenty of critters who would like nothing more than to get a taste of troll out here, and he was not eager to give them said taste.
So, he stood his ground and waited, until finally John Dory came stumbling out of the brush, leg half tangled in a bramble.
"There you are!" John laughed, shaking the bramble off his leg as Hickory quickly tucked his knife back away, "I turned around to point out some funky looking moss and you were gone."
"Sorry 'bout that. Got caught up admirin' this here flower," Hickory admitted abashedly, gesturing vaguely over his shoulder.
"No worries, man! Just gotta make sure I keep a better eye on you," John chuckled, reaching out and unexpectedly taking Hickory's hand. The country troll felt his cheeks heat up, but luckily John had turned to start tugging him along down the trail, and so missed it entirely. "Don't want you getting lost on me!"
"No, no. Don't wanna get lost," Hickory muttered mostly to himself, his gaze stuck pretty strictly on their clasped hands now, rather than the gorgeous scenery they were walking past. Occasionally John would point something out to Hickory, which would pull the country trolls gaze up for a short period of time, before inevitably trailing back down to their hands.
John didn't let go until they reached a rocky path that lead up what most creatures would probably consider a small foot hill, but was nearly the equivalent of a mountain to the two trolls. The path wound up along the side of the hill, and was only just wide enough for them to walk up one at a time. Hickory did his best to hide his disappointment as John let him go and began to trek up the hillside.
"C'mon! If we're where I think we are, there's a great spot at the top of the hill where we can stop and have lunch," John said, glancing back at Hickory with a bright grin.
"Alright, I'mma comin'," Hickory chuckled, shifting the pack on his shoulders and following along after John.
The two managed to make it about halfway up the hill when they came across a slightly wider spot on the trail, overlooking a rather picturesque little area of the Neverglades.
"Too bad there's not more of a plateau here," John lamented as Hickory stopped next to him, "This would be a great spot to stop for lunch."
"Yeah. S'real pretty," Hickory hummed, turning to look out at the view.
"Wish I'd brought my camera," John added with a despondent sigh, "But I left it in Rhonda."
"Well, ain't that just lucky for you, then," Hickory said with a smile, reaching over his shoulder into his pack, "Because I just so happen to have brought one along." He pulled a little instant camera out of his bag and handed it to John, who snatched it eagerly.
"Awesome! Say cheese," John said with a grin, holding the camera out in front of the two and snapping a photo. Hickory blinked at the flash that went off, trying to get rid of the little flare in his vision.
"Some warnin' woulda been nice," he groused quietly, rubbing at his eyes.
"Yeah, but then I wouldn't have gotten such a great candid shot," John hummed, pulling the photo free of the camera and waving it slightly. He snorted once the image developed, holding it out to Hickory. "See? Perfect moment."
Hickory wrinkled his nose at the photo, which showed a happily grinning John and Hickory looking like he was, perhaps, about to sneeze. "Yeah. Real flatterin'," he muttered, reaching for the photo.
"Hey now, nuh-uh," John said quickly, pulling the photo back to hold against his chest, before quickly stuffing it into his hair, "This one's mine."
"Aw, come on, now," Hickory grumped, reaching for John's hair, "We can take a better one. You don't need t' keep that."
"No," John quickly took a step back, while shoving the camera into his hair as well, "I like it. It's mine, and you can't have it."
"Don't be childish, John," Hickory sighed, reaching for the teal trolls hair again as John quickly took another step back and snorted.
"Have you met me? I'm the least childish troll out there."
"Mhmm, you keep tellin' yerself that," Hickory chuckled, taking another step after John, only for both of them to freeze at a rather ominous cracking sound that emanated around them. "What was-" Hickory barely managed to get the words out, before he felt his foot beginning to sink as the path beneath him began to give way, and the sound of tumbling rocks hit his ears.
"Hickory!"
The ex-bounty hunter gasped as his footing slipped, quickly scrambling for John's reaching hands. The teal troll had his hair wrapped around some roots that were sticking out of the side of the hill, anchoring him as he grabbed for Hickory as he began to fall.
"I gotcha, I gotcha," John chanted as Hickory managed to grab hold of him, using his hair to pull them both away from the crumbling section of path. Once they were both on a more stable spot, Hickory opened his eyes, which he hadn't even realized he'd clenched shut, to find himself practically nose to nose with John Dory, both of them panting like they'd just run a mile.
"You okay?" John quietly asked after a beat, grip still tight on Hickory as he stared up at him.
"Bit shaken up, but I think I'll be right as rain here right quick," Hickory murmured back, glad that the adrenaline of his near death experience and lack of breath were more than enough excuse for how dark his cheeks must be from their proximity. If he just moved his head ever so slightly, he could kiss John Dory right then and there.
"Good," John's voice shattered Hickory's momentary daydream, a short pat on his shoulder telling Hickory to move away. Which he did, taking a quick step back to give John space. "I think we're close to the top now. I'd definitely say we earned our lunch."
Hickory let out a little laugh, hoping it didn't come off as nervous or anxious. "Well, you certainly did," he said, following after John, "All I did was nearly fall down the hill."
"Yeah, but you didn't," John said, glancing briefly back at Hickory, "Doesn't that also deserve celebration?"
Hickory smiled to himself as he followed after John, mentally telling his heart to shut up as it did a little summersault in his chest at John's words.
They reached the summit of the hill rather quickly after that, not stopping until they knew they were on completely stable ground, neither wanting to risk a repeat incident.
"Here we go," John sighed as they reached the top, swinging his bag off his back, "This looks like a great spot to stop for a bit."
Hickory let out a little whistle as he also set his bag on the ground, turning in a small circle to take in the views. "It's a mighty nice spot, that's for certain," he hummed, only turning back to John when he heard the tell-tale click of his camera. He snorted a quiet laugh, arching an eyebrow at John as he pulled the photo from the camera and began to wave it in the air. "Whatcha got there?"
"Memories," John stated, a little smile curling his lips as the photo developed.
Hickory felt his heart skip a beat at the look on John's face, before he cleared his throat and stepped over to take a look at the snap shot. It was a bit of an odd angle, obviously taken hastily while Hickory had his back turned, but it was a nice photo all the same. The rolling hills and vast trails stretching out into the distance could be easily seen just past Hickory's shoulder.
"S'not a bad shot," the ex-bounty hunter hummed, reaching for the photo, only to find it disappearing into John's hair to join the previous one.
"Sure is," John said with a cheeky grin, before turning to start pulling a blanket and some food from his bag.
"Cheeky," Hickory laughed, joining John on the blanket once he had it all rolled out.
They ate in relative silence for a bit, simply enjoying each others company and the view, until the camera came back out of John's hair.
"I regret givin' that thing to ya," Hickory snorted after John snapped a photo of him while he was about to take a bite of his sandwich.
"You can't blame me for wanting to document your first camping trip," John said, sticking his tongue out at Hickory, who simply rolled his eyes and continued to eat, "It's a big deal, y'know. You're trying to start fresh, try new things, be a different troll from who you once were. Taking these baby steps, even just going on a camping trip for fun, it's a lot. You said it's something you've never done before, right? You should have something to remember it by."
Hickory stared at John for a long moment, a slow smile working its way across his face. "Why, that's real sweet of you, Johnny." His smile widened into a cheshire grin as as he watched John's cheeks darken at his comment.
"Shut up," John grunted, a smile betraying his grumpy tone as he flicked a small rock at Hickory, who easily dodged it with a laugh.
They finished up their meal while chatting amicably about the trail thus far, with John animatedly regaling Hickory with stories about the first time he came up this way, long before he'd had Rhonda. He admitted it was part of the reason he'd wanted to bring Hickory to this particular spot, as it held a certain amount of nostalgia for him, since it'd been one of the first spots he'd stopped while exploring the trails.
"Ya certainly do got a lot of good memories out here, dontcha?" Hickory hummed as they packed up their bags, a soft little smile on his face as he listened to John hum to himself while retying his bag shut.
"Sure do," John chirped, before pulling the camera from his hair again and walking over to Hickory.
"Aw, what now?" Hickory snorted, somewhat wary of the camera, now that he knew John was going to take every opportunity he could to snap unflattering photos of him.
"Nothing. Come here," John said, turning Hickory so his back was to the view. He opened his mouth to protest as John stole his cowboy hat and set it aside, only to snap it closed as John wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tugged him down into his shoulder. "There. Plenty of warning this time," John chuckled, cheek practically pressed to Hickory's, "Say 'cheese'!" He held the camera up and the flash went off. Hickory blinked to get ride of the afterimage, rubbing at his eye in mild irritation as John pulled the photo from the camera. "Nice," the teal troll hummed, a warm smile curling his lips. After a moment he offered it to Hickory. "You can have this one, if you want."
Hickory took the photo with mild suspicion, knowing full well the caliber of photo John had been taking thus far, only to be pleasantly surprised by what he saw. John was grinning widely in the photo, his arm blocking the lower left corner of the frame, while Hickory looked a little dazed, with a slightly crooked smile on his own face, and his cheek squished against John's. In the background over John's shoulder the spectacular view from the top of the hill could be seen, with the sunlight speckled across the trees at just the right angle.
Hickory was pulled from his admiration of the photo by John chuckling practically in his ear, just over his shoulder, pack already strapped to his back and bouncing on his toes. "You struck speechless by my excellent photography skills?"
"Somethin' like that," Hickory said with a quiet laugh, carefully tucking the photo into the inside pocket of his vest before scooping his hat up from where John had set it and slinging his pack over his shoulder. "Let's get this show on the road, shall we?"
The trek down from the hilltop was far less perilous than the trip up had been. To Hickory's great disappointment, John did not take his hand again once they'd reached the bottom, and in what felt like no time at all, John lead them to what he declared would be their camp site. It was a rather sizeable clearing, with bushes and tall grass most of the way around it, with only two trails leading away from it, aside from the one they'd come down to reach it. John explained that one lead to a little lake they could go swimming in, while the other lead further into the Neverglades.
"Alright," John declared, dropping his pack onto the ground with a thump, "Did you bring a tent?"
Hickory flushed, setting his own bag down more gingerly. "'Fraid not. Not gonna lie, I thought we'd be stayin' with Rhonda," the country troll admitted, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "But, it wouldn't be the first time I've slept under the stars, so I'll be just fine."
John scoffed, rolling his eyes as he began to unpack his bag, tossing tent pegs and ropes onto the ground in front of him. "Don't be ridiculous. My tent is plenty big enough for two. Besides, you never know what critter might come across camp in the middle of the night. A tent gives us at least a bit of cover."
"Ah," Hickory's brain froze for a moment, the idea of being tucked up close to John in a tent sending a little shiver down his spine. "Uh, yeah," he cleared his throat, ducking his head so the brim of his hat would hopefully hide the blush that was yet again creeping across his cheeks, "Yeah, that'd be right as rain."
"Good," John grunted, pulling folded up tent poles from his bag, "Well, since that's settled, how about you start setting up a spot for the fire while I put up the tent?"
"Sure thing," Hickory said with a quick nod, turning to wander around the camp site to pick up some stones to mark a space for a small fire pit. He paused and glanced up when he heard the soft, tell-tale sound of a pile of fabric hitting the ground, fully expecting John to have tossed the tent from his bag, ready to offer his help once again, only to bite his tongue at the realization that it was his jacket that John had tossed aside. The teal troll was busy setting up the tent poles, a little frown of concentration on his face while he worked, completely unaware of Hickory staring at him from across the clearing. "Sugar," Hickory breathed, jerking into motion quickly as John glanced at him from where he was working.
"Hey, how about, after this, we go for a swim."
"A swim?" Hickory echoed, tucking a rock into the small collection in his arm while turning to arch an eyebrow at John, only to nearly drop them all at being presented with John leaning against one of the erected tent poles, a little smirk on his face and sweat beading on his brow.
"Yeah! It's kinda humid today, and setting up this tent is making me sweaty. I think a pre-dinner swim would be nice, don't you?" John said with a little laugh, shoving himself off the pole to start gathering the fabric of the tent up from the ground. "Work up a bit of an appetite before we eat."
Hickory swallowed thickly as John tossed the fabric over the tent frame he'd set up, his brain taking a moment to catch up to what was being said to him. "Oh! Yeah! Yeah, that'd be a right fine idea," he agreed, shaking his head quickly to try and get his mind off of the sweaty, half naked troll across from him. "C'mon, Hickory. Get yer act together," he grumbled to himself, walking to a spot he thought would be good for the fire and dropping his collection of rocks.
"I think you might be too close to the tents."
"Sugar, honey an' iced tea!" Hickory exclaimed, whipping his head in John Dory's direction, who grinned sheepishly at him.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to catch you off guard. What's got your head in the clouds, anyway?" John asked, propping his hands on his hips and tilting his head at Hickory, reminding the country troll of a particularly adorable cuddle pup.
"Ah, y'know, just , uh, doin' a mental checklist. Tryin' to remember if I brought my swim gear," Hickory offered with an awkward little laugh. "Sorry. What were ya sayin'?"
"Even if you forgot yours, you can always borrow mine. I don't mind swimming in my regular shorts," John offered with an easy smile, "And I was just saying that I think where you're setting up the fire might be too close to the tents."
Hickory looked between where John had most of the tent set up, barring the tent pegs being hammered into the ground, and the pile of rocks he'd dropped on the ground to find that he was, indeed, just a bit too close. One good breeze in the wrong direction could carry embers onto the fabric. "Oh. Beggin' yer pardon," the country troll apologized quickly, bending to pick the rocks back up, "I really was too lost in my own head just then, wasn't I?"
"Hey, happens to the best of us," John laughed, shrugging a bit. "Just move it a bit over there," he gestured vaguely away from the tent, "And it should be fine. I think I saw a decently sized stick over there, too. We can move it into the clearing to sit on later, by the fire."
Hickory nodded, dropping his rocks where John had gestured. "This whole campin' for fun thing is turnin' out to be a lot like campin' for survival," he noted, arching an amused eyebrow at John who snorted and trotted back over to the tent.
"Set up is always a pain. Same with take down. But all of the in between is great," John shot Hickory a charming smile, completely unaware of how it made the ex-bunty hunters heart flutter, before crouching down to hammer in the tent pegs. "Just you wait!"
"Sounds like a plan," Hickory muttered, though he very much doubted he was heard over the sound of the hammer. Which was probably for the best, as he had to shake himself out of staring after the teal troll once again.
In relative short order, Hickory set up his little circle of rocks while John finished up with the tent pegs. He then shoved his way through the brush surrounding the clearing to see about gathering up some wood for the fire they would be building when they got back from swimming. He deposited his selection of twigs, sticks and bark next to his rock circle once he figured he had enough for the night, just as John finished tying off a large tarp above where he'd finished setting up the tent.
"Y'all set?" Hickory asked, trotting up to John as the teal troll wiped his brow with the back of his hand, dislodging his goggles so they sat askew on his head.
"I think so. We're looking pretty good!" John chirped, grinning up at Hickory.
"I'd say so," Hickory agreed easily with a quiet little laugh, reaching out to fix John's crooked goggles. John looked startled by the gesture, Hickory barely catching a glimpse of a dark flush creeping over John's cheeks before the teal troll turned away from him once his hands dropped away. He took a quick step back, watching as John swiftly moved across the campsite to dig into his bag. Intrigued by the reaction, Hickory made a mental note about it for later.
"Did you bring your trunks?" John's voice snapped Hickory back to reality.
"Pretty sure," Hickory hummed, shuffling over to his bag to dig into it and pull out his swim shorts.
"Great! Then get changed, and we'll head down to the water," John said, staring at Hickory expectantly.
Hickory stared right back, slowly arching an eyebrow at the teal troll. "You gonna stare at me the whole time I'm changin', or just for the first little bit?" He snorted quietly as John's face lit up as he turned on his heel to face away from Hickory. The ex-bounty hunter shook his head with a quiet laugh, setting his hat aside and quickly changing into his swim trunks. He then dug into his bag and pulled out the beach towel he'd packed, draping it over his shoulders as he cleared his throat. "All set. You gonna change, too?"
"Nah," John hummed, glancing at Hickory over his shoulder, though he did pull off his goggles and glove to toss them into the tent. "I'm just gonna go as is. These shorts are already sweaty and dirty, may as well sorta wash 'em by swimming with them on."
"All right," Hickory chuckled, stepping up next to John, "Lead the way, then."
And so John did, after grabbing his own towel from his belongings. The path down to the lake was relatively short and straight forward, but John seemed to take pride in leading Hickory around, so he diligently followed along with an indulgent smile on his face. The lake itself was relatively small, as John had already mentioned, but that didn't make it any less picturesque than the rest of the Neverglades had been thus far. The shores were soft slopes of jutting rock and densely packed dirt, surrounded by drooping trees with their branches and leaves barely grazing the water, causing little ripples every time the wind blew. Early evening sunlight was dappled across the surface of the lake, making it sparkle.
"My," Hickory breathed, almost feeling like he shouldn't be there. Like he was intruding on sacred ground.
"It's real pretty, isn't it?" John hummed quietly next to him, "Almost makes you not want to swim."
Hickory opened his mouth to agree with the sentiment, only to jump slightly as John let out a whoop of a shout while tossing his towel aside, before running towards the water. Hickory couldn't contain his laughter as John jumped from the shore as he reached the waters edge, canon balling into the lake with a large splash.
"Well, that's one way to do it, I s'pose," Hickory chuckled to himself, tossing his towel next to John's. He let out a shout of his own once John surfaced further out into the lake, running and tossing himself into the water with gusto. He surfaced to the sound of John's laughter, followed shortly by a splash of water to the face. "Hey now," he laughed, returning the splash blindly, figuring he'd hit his target based on the sound of John sputtering. He wiped water from his face and grinned at finding John coughing and blinking water from his eyes. "That's what ya get for tryin' a sneak attack," Hickory stated, self satisfied smirk on his face.
"I'll show you sneak attack," John grumbled to himself, before launching himself through the water at Hickory with a yell. Hickory let out a startled shout in response, flailing rather uselessly in the water before John tackled him around the chest and dragged him under the surface.
The two tussled in the water like that for some time, with John using any means necessary to try and catch Hickory off guard as they swam back and forth across the lake, waging war with sweeping splashes. Hickory finally called it quits when John tried to use a handful of slimy lake weeds to retaliate against Hickory for managing to dunk him underwater.
"All right, I'm think I'm done," the country troll sighed, pulling an especially long piece of weed from his hair and tossing it aside.
"Aww, but we haven't even been out here that long," John practically pouted, earning a fond smile form Hickory.
"Never said we had to go back. Just that I think the war is over," Hickory hummed, kicking his feet off the bottom of the lake to float on his back. He watched John continue to pout for a minute out of the corner of his eye, before the teal troll began to swim towards the shore. "Where are ya goin'?" he called, turning to tread water with a small frown on his face.
"If you're done," John called back, walking up onto the shore, running fingers through his water logged locks, "I'm gonna work on my canon balls."
Hickory was quite certain that John had no idea the kind of sight he made as he trotted along the lakeside, looking for a good spot to use as a pseudo-diving board. He kept absently running his fingers though his hair, which supplied a steady supply of water droplets that cascaded down over his torso, which Hickory had to fight with every fiber of his being not to watch as they made their way down to the ground. The country troll had never been so happy to be submerged in water as he was just then, letting himself sink so his nose was barely above the surface as he watched John Dory pause at a particularly large rock and nod to himself. The teal troll climbed up onto it and shot Hickory a winning grin once he was at the top, waving enthusiastically, before letting out a bellow and tossing himself into the water. He was completely, stupidly endearing and Hickory knew that if he didn't say something by the end of this trip, he might just go insane.
John continued his cycle of climbing out of the water and jumping enthusiastically back in for some time, Hickory not even noticing that the sun had began to set with how enraptured he was with watching. That was, until the teal troll finally scooped his towel up from the ground instead of running off to his chosen diving rock.
"Hey, it's getting late," John called out to him, gesturing that he should swim to shore, "We should probably go get started on the fire and make some dinner."
"Oh! Right. Dinner," Hickory muttered to himself, before he began to swim back to shore, shivering as he climbed out of the water and a cool breeze swept across the lake.
"C'mon. We'll get a nice big fire going, and get you toasty warm," John said with an easy smile, handing Hickory his towel.
Hickory bit his tongue to keep himself from saying something stupid like 'Or you could warm me up', and instead murmured a quiet thanks as he took his towel and rubbed at his sopping hair.
"I brought some classic camping food," John hummed as he began to lead the way back up to their campsite, Hickory hot on his heels, "Hotdogs to roast over the fire, and marshtatoes for later!"
"Sounds swell," Hickory said with a little nod, draping his towel over his shoulders as they reached the campsite. "By the by, where did ya say that stick was? The one we could use as a bench near the fire?"
"Right! We should move that first," John said as he snapped his fingers, and pointed towards a patch of grass near the tent.
Moving the stick was only a small struggle when they discovered it was actually much larger than they had anticipated, as part of it was buried in the dirt. Luckily, what Hickory lacked in tenting supplies, he made up for in random assorted other items that John, apparently, neglected to bring along. Such as a hatchet. He made rather quick work of hacking into the stick and cutting off the portion John had indicated would make good seating, and if he happened to flex a bit more than he normally would because he caught John watching out of the corner of his eye, well, who could blame him?
The two of them managed to drag the end of the stick over to the little circle of rocks without much trouble after that, and Hickory promptly dropped himself onto it once it was settled where John thought would be the best spot.
"Gonna need to go for another swim, after that," the ex-bounty hunter joked, kicking his feet out in front of himself as John crouched next to the rocks and began to set up the bits of bark Hickory had gathered.
"If there are enough glow flies in the area we can go for a night swim, if you want," John muttered, half distracted as he struck a match and lit the kindling he'd set up. Gently, he blew into the small pile of bark and twigs until the flames began to grow, a proud little smile on his face as he slowly fed twigs into it until it was large enough that he could put a couple of the larger sticks on. Once it seemed like he thought the fire wouldn't need to be babied further he stood with a pop of his knees and a crack of his back, a low groan leaving him as Hickory winced in sympathy.
"That sounded like it hurt," Hickory commented idly as John dropped onto the stick next to him with a grunt.
"Don't get old," John joked, laughing as Hickory shoved him lightly.
"I'll remind ya, since yer memory's apparently goin', that I'm only a few years younger than ya. Yer knees ain't the only ones that make noise when ya stand up," Hickory said as he rolled his eyes. "Anyhow, d'ya really reckon we could go swimmin' at night? Y'don't think that'd be dangerous, with all the critters roamin' around?"
John shrugged, watching the flames as their fire slowly grew. "I mean, I don't see why not. Like I said, there just needs to be enough glow flies so we can see. The stars out here are pretty bright, but it's better if there are glow flies. They're a really good, obvious, first alert system if something is close by."
"Cause they'll fly away," Hickory hummed with a nod, "Smart."
"Yeah. It's something my dad taught me, a long time ago," John sighed wistfully, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees, his gaze distant. Hickory took that as his queue to go and fetch the hotdogs from John's bag, as well as grabbing a couple of sticks from their little stash to spear the hotdogs with.
"Here," Hickory gently nudged John in the shoulder with his own, offering the teal troll one of the sharpened sticks as John visibly blinked himself back into reality.
"Oh! Thanks," John chuckled, gingerly taking the stick from Hickory, "Sorry. Sort of zoned out there. Didn't mean to get so lost in thought."
"It's alright," Hickory said with a small shrug, cutting open the package of hotdogs to spear one on the end of his stick, "Happens to the best of us. Mind if I ask what ya were thinkin' 'about?"
"Just family junk," John offered with a little shrug of his shoulders, taking a hotdog of his own and stabbing it a bit more violently than strictly necessary.
"I assume 'bout yer dad?"
John clicked his tongue, a wry little smile turning the corner of his lips. "Yeah. A bit. More about my brothers, though, I guess. I never did this with any of them," he gestured vaguely at their campsite. "I got to go camping once with my dad, and he taught me loads. But none of my brothers got to. And then things just sort of got crazy out of hand, and I never got to take any of them." He paused, sitting up and shooting Hickory an apologetic smile. "Sorry. This is supposed to be a fun trip, you don't need me babbling about family drama."
"I don't mind," Hickory reassured, gently resting his free hand on John's elbow, "Don't got much family, myself, aside from my older brother, an' that's a whole can a' worms on it's own…But, I don't mind hearin' 'bout other folks family. If ya need someone with a willin' ear, I'm always here."
John turned his head to look at Hickory, his gaze almost searching as his brow furrowed slightly. "That means a lot," he murmured, shifting so he could take the hand on his elbow into his own, entwining their fingers together. "I really…I really like talking to you, Hickory. I know we haven't known each other that long, but you mean a lot to me."
"You mean a lot to me, too, Johnny."
John seemed to think for a moment, watching Hickory intently, before he leaned down to prop his stick between two of the rocks around their fire. He then took Hickory's and did the same with it, before turning sideways on their make-shift bench and taking Hickory's hands in his own. He visibly swallowed, thumbs brushing the backs of Hickory's hands, which sent little shivers up the country's trolls spine.
"You okay, John?" Hickory asked, leaning forward slightly with a concerned frown.
"Can I kiss you?"
It was said so quietly Hickory thought, perhaps, he was hearing things. "Pardon?"
John flushed, his ears drooping slightly as he gave Hickory's hands a little squeeze. "Can I kiss you?" he repeated a little louder, gaze fixed on their hands. "I might've been reading you wrong, but I think…I think you want to kiss me, too? It's okay, if you don't. I won't be offended, and we can pretend this never happened, I just…" He lifted his gaze, letting out a little breath, "I really want to kiss you."
"John Dory," Hickory stated, tugging John's hands closer so the teal troll was forced to lean further towards him, "If ya don't kiss me right this instant, I will be madder than a wet hen."
"Can't have that," John chuckled, before tilting his head and pressing his lips to Hickory's.
It was like pop rocks were poured down Hickory's spine, little tingles igniting what felt like every nerve ending as John shifted closer on their little bench so he could kiss the country troll more deeply. Their hands parted from each other, only to slide into hair and cling to shoulders, earning little shivers and soft sighs each time their lips parted for a moment for air.
"C'mon," John breathed after a time that Hickory's mind could hardly fathom, though the world was distinctly darker than it was before he got lost in John's lips. John stood, a hand outstretched towards Hickory in offering.
Hickory took it without hesitation, letting John lead him to their tent, anticipation twisting in his gut, their dinner and plans of swimming long forgotten.
~
When Hickory woke the next morning, it was to a tent distinctly devoid of John Dory. Groggily, he rubbed at his face as he sat up and looked around, finding what he assumed was John's silhouette on the outside of the tent, puttering around their campsite. He grunted as he shoved away the blankets he'd gotten tangled up in during the night and somehow managed to locate his pants and belt, tugging them on quickly before he stumbled into the morning light.
"Good morning!" John's voice was chipper and loud, making Hickory cringe slightly as he finger combed his hair.
"Mornin'," the country troll drawled, squinting against the sun until he found his hat and tugged it on, letting out a contented little sigh. He turned to find John Dory hovering over the fire, poking at what appeared to be eggs cooking on top of a flat stone. "Yer up mighty early."
"Habit," John said with a shrug, "Once the sun is up, I'm up."
"Disgusting," Hickory snorted, earning a light laugh from John.
"Yeah, well, can't be helped," John hummed, grabbed a large leaf and scooping one of the eggs from the stone onto it with a knife. "Forgot to bring plates, so you're going to have to deal with eating off a leaf with your fingers."
Hickory took the leaf happily, trotting over to their stick bench and sitting down. "I think I can live with that."
"Good, 'cause there wasn't much in terms of other options," John snorted, taking up his own leaf and egg before knocking the flat rock off the fire and walking over to the stick to sit as well.
They ate their breakfast quietly, John staring off into the fire, while Hickory let his eyes drift shut, smiling slightly to himself as he let the early morning sounds of the forest wash over him. He felt peaceful and calm, a warm little ember in his chest growing steadily at the knowledge that the troll his heart chose to beat wildly for was sat next to him and felt the same. Or, so he assumed.
"Hickory," John's quiet but serious tone shattered the tranquility of the forest, and drew Hickory from his revere. He blinked and turned his gaze towards John, who was still staring intently into the fire.
"What is it?"
"About last night…"
Hickory frowned, his posture stiffening at the words John spoke. He had to force his fingers to not tremble around the leaf he held. "What about it?"
"It doesn't-…Look, I know I dragged you all the way out here, and I'm your only way home, so just in case," John rambled, speaking without taking a breath, "It doesn't have to mean anything. We don't…If you felt obligated, I'm sorry. We can pretend nothing happened and go home right now, if you want."
Hickory stared John down, absentmindedly crushing the leaf in his hands. "Ya think I'd feel obligated to sleep with ya, just because we're out in the woods?"
"I mean," John flushed, looking up at Hickory, anxiety clear as day on his face, "…maybe?"
"I would sooner stab any troll that tried somethin' that I didn't want, then go willingly off to their tent," Hickory practically growled, before taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, listening as John shifted and squirmed on the stick next to him. "I ain't mad," he said after a beat, letting out another breath.
"You sound like it."
"Only 'cause you implied I was easy."
"Sorry."
Hickory opened his eyes, taking one last deep breath in, before turning his gaze to John once again, arching an eyebrow at finding the teal troll practically curled in on himself in his seat. "This been buggin' ya for a while?"
"I couldn't sleep," John admitted, and upon closer inspection Hickory could see the bags under John's eyes.
Hickory sighed quietly, letting his irritation slowly seep out of him. He reached out, his heart twisting as John flinched slightly at the movement. "I ain't gonna hurt you," he reassured, gently taking one of John's hands in his own, "I'd never hurt ya. John…I was so happy, last night, when ya said ya wanted to kiss me. I've been wantin' to do that for quite a while. Just didn't quite know how to go about sayin' anythin'. I like you, John Dory. A whole lot."
John's posture loosened as Hickory spoke, his hunched position straightening as he unconsciously leaned in towards the country troll. "Really?" he breathed, and Hickory could almost describe his expression as being starstruck.
"I don't have a tendency to say things I don't mean."
Hickory let a crooked little smile settle on his face as John slowly shifted closer to him, turning slightly so he could wrap both of his hands around Hickory's. "I'm so sorry. For thinking I'd taken advantage of you. For implying you would do anything you didn't feel comfortable with. I just thought that, if you didn't want it, or felt bad for me or something-"
Hickory cut him off with a snort of a laugh, shaking his head slightly. "Why on this green earth do you think I would feel bad for ya?"
John blinked, tilting his head slightly. "Uh…'cause I'm a washed up ex-boyband member with a laundry list of family trauma issues and no friends?"
"Who's also mighty handsome, talented, a skilled survivalist, and who seems to be completely blind to the admirers that watch 'im every time he goes to the market?"
"…You think I'm handsome?"
"Not the take away ya should be focusing on here, Johnny," Hickory snorted, rolling his eyes.
"Sorry. Go on."
Hickory chuckled, cupping John's cheek in his free hand. "You think pretty little of yerself, an' that's a real shame. I wish ya could see yerself the way I do."
"And how's that?"
"Like a shootin' star in the night sky. So beautiful an' bright, but burnin' out so fast most folks can't appreciate ya for yer true magnificence," Hickory hummed, enjoying the way John's cheeks darkened, just before he gently tugged the teal troll into a kiss.
They parted with a quiet gasp between the two of them, John looking a bit dazed.
"So…you're my boyfriend now, right?" John asked bluntly after a beat, earning a surprised burst of laughter from Hickory.
"You bet yer bottom dollar, playboy."
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cambion-companion · 7 months ago
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Echoes of Orpheus
I wanted to write. It's been a while! Exploring the idea that after Tav dies, Raphael isn't okay with just letting their immortal soul slip away.
Raphael x Tav!reader (gn)
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The Hero of Baldur's Gate they had named you, dragging you time and again back into the spotlight of a fame you never wanted.
Survival.
That was all you had wanted. The will to escape the worm inside your head had evolved and taken on life of its own until you were teaming up with angels, devils, druids and warlocks to take down an Elder Brain.
With glory and infamy alike you had lived.
Just like every mortal, your body grew weak around the soul it harbored and eventually passed on.
Like a gossamer thread, your soul was freed from its mortal coil, slipping into the next world gratefully. You felt light and young, strong again.
Echoes and shadows surrounded you, an inexorable pull drawing you down into unknown space and time.
Stars whirled around your vision, hues of azure and lilac danced and merged to create a midnight sky. Up ahead, you saw a white light and knew that was your destination.
But something was wrong.
The gravitational pull guiding you to safe harbor lessened, another sensation arose. You heard your name whispered behind your ear, turning your head to see only a vast abyss that drew fear into your heart.
A familiar smell, a purple light replacing the white-golden rays up ahead. You willed yourself toward it, apprehension and excitement roiling through your being.
So close now. You reached out and a large hand wrapped around your wrist, dragging you forward with a great heave.
"Raphael." Your first words uttered since your death. In his ironclad grip you felt almost alive again, awakening the tethers to your mortal life. To him.
He wore the crown of Karsus, the source of that purple glow. The silver metal twisted perfectly amongst his sharp horns, his eyes familiar and blazing hellfire-gold.
"Not even a word of farewell?" Raphael did not relinquish his grasp on you. "I taught you better manners than that."
You did not know what to say, shock holding your tongue as you fought to understand how he could interrupt the natural course of your spirit. "The crown." You whispered.
Raphael nodded. "I understand death has not dulled your wit." He intoned dryly, then tugged you a bit further into his plane. "Nor will it succeed in taking you from me. We still have work to do, you and I."
"You have no right to my soul, I made no deal with you."
"Therein you are most grievously in error." Raphael smiles, dangerous and sharp, the touch of his hand becoming more heavy and real with each passing moment you stayed in his presence. "I am your past. I am your present. And I am your future, little mouse. No mortal frailty will alter that law."
Another tug, the draw to him inescapable as it had been in your previous life. Your palm found the front of his chest, pressing until you could feel the fabric of his velvet tunic.
Raphael tucked a finger beneath your chin and raised your gaze to his once more, his tone softening to that familiar sultry purr. "I will give you life anew, more than any god could offer. You were mine since the moment I laid eyes on you, little mouse."
The old nickname sparked a flame within you, defiance and desire. "I will not be trapped in one of your gilded cages, or placed on a pedestal to be drooled over by your incubus."
"There you are." Raphael squeezed your chin before releasing you, a satisfied smirk on his face. "Already coming back to yourself, it seems. And no, dear...you will be put to use, not shelved with my other prizes." He held out a hand. "Now come. Worlds anew wait for us to conquer."
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bumblebeesfromvenus · 2 months ago
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Fate - spin, measure, cut
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
🌙 Leon S. Kennedy x reader
Based on a request by @bat-yo-us 🫶🏻
《Content》: blood, injury, big feelings, Saddler being ew
After a sick twist of Fate, you're tossed into a nightmarish situation with your lover. Vows of protection and safety fall short when you're injured just to save his life.
Please support your creators with likes/comments/reblogs ♡
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─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
A dull, pounding ache sat deep in your bones as you dragged your body further down the path of this hellhole.
You were exhausted, littered in bruises and cuts, and your head was starting to spin from the lack of hydration.
The mission was clear; rescue Baby Eagle and then get out of there as quickly as possible.
Neither you nor Leon had anticipated this to become a matter of days where you'd fight for your life and run from literal nightmares.
The Fates were cruel mistresses, and apparently, they took joy in making you suffer as Ashley was continuously ripped away from right under your nose.
You found her admirable and strong, handling this situation better than you did.
Maybe it was the adrenaline and the survival instinct that kept her going. Whatever it was, you needed a whole dose of it.
You were a medic officer, only sent to take care of any of Ashley's potential injuries on the flight back, not run from Infected, giants, and mutated assholes that wouldn't shut up about their God.
Leon, on the other hand, treated it like just another Tuesday, something that both impressed you and pissed you off beyond belief.
You knew what he'd seen and that this probably was just another Tuesday for him, something that never failed to make your heart ache for him.
But now, under the circumstances, you were forced to pick up a weapon.
You needed to protect yourself. Leon couldn't keep both you and Ashley safe, and no matter how harsh it sounded, she was the important one.
A faint feeling of safety returned when you took the elevator deep into the castle, reaching the Merchant's shooting range.
You slid down the wall and sat on the floor, a sigh of relief slipping past your lips while Leon practiced his aim on the wooden pirates.
You watched him closely, his concentrated expression and slightly narrowed eyes, down to his stance and how the muscles flexed in his bicep.
Maybe you could've enjoyed the sight if your doom wasn't hot on your tail.
It was like the Moirai were watching from above, Atropos sharpening her scissors with a sinister smile while Lachesis measured the string that was your life only to end it in a second whenever they pleased.
The weight of it all lay heavy on your shoulders, a feeling of dread that's been in the pit of your stomach since the beginning, only sinking deeper into your insides.
"It's your turn. Come on." Leon said, holding out his gloved hand to you.
You snapped out of your thoughts with a small 'huh?', your brain needing a second to catch up. He saw the distant and glazed over look in your eyes, and to say it didn't worry him would be a lie.
You weren't made for this.
Hell, neither was he (was anyone?), but he learned to deal with it. But you weren't supposed to see this.
Your job was saving lives, nursing them back to health with a comforting, almost matronly smile on your lips, not take them, no matter how lost or corrupt.
His heart cracked.
He became an Agent to protect innocent people from nightmares like this, yet here you were, the most important aspect of his life, the one that delicately held his heart, subjected to all the horror he tried to shield you from.
"I'll teach you how to use a gun without hurting yourself and to really hurt someone else." He smirked, although it didn't reach his eyes.
You only managed a pathetic laugh but took his hand anyway. Leon pulled you off the ground and led you to the correct position at the shooting range, angling your stance with his hands on your hips.
The simple touch made you want to melt into his arms and forget everything you'd witnessed the last few days.
"Alright," he sighed, his chest pressed to your back while he shoved one of his guns into your hands, "hold it like this, you don't want to hurt your fingers. Now, tighten your muscles, lock your elbows and don't forget about the recoil. And aim, obviously." Leon huffed a half-hearted laugh.
You mumbled a quick affirmation and exhaled, steadying your hands before locking your eyes on the wooden pirate and pulling the trigger.
The sound, along with the recoil, made you flinch. Pain shot from your wrists up to your shoulders. Out of instinct, you dropped the gun and rubbed at your sore hands.
"Jesus Christ.." you muttered.
"It's pretty hefty. Are you alright?" Leon asked softly, a comforting hand resting on your back.
"Yeah, it just caught me off guard." You chuckled awkwardly, swallowing thickly.
"No worries. Let's try again." He gave you a small smile and gently placed the weapon back into your hands.
You felt a tense feeling crawl up your spine, a feeling that often led you to being overstimulated, hoping the world would just go quiet for a moment.
You tried again anyway, pushing down any discomfort that bubbled up. Leon was breathing down your neck. He was caging you in and mumbling corrections and tips into your ear.
Those things were usually very welcome, but right now, they were driving you up the wall.
The gunshot was too loud, the recoil made the marrow in your bones shake, and all of his touches were only cutting more at the thin string of your sanity.
Your bullets kept missing, whizzing past the wooden decals as they mockingly stared you in the face.
The frustration was unbearable as you gritted your teeth. You aimed at their faces very clearly.
How come you still hadn't hit a single shot?
Leon sighed, tugging at your arms to bring them in a better position.
A position that didn't help at all.
"No- not like that. I already told you, you need to-"
"No, stop!" You snapped, flinging the gun out of your hands and shoving him off of you.
"I can't- I don't want to do this. Any of this!" You said loudly, your arms moving as you spoke while Leon only stared at you in mild shock.
"It's okay, everyone misses, you'll get it eventually. You just need to try again." He tried to encourage you with a lopsided smile but it only fueled the raging fire.
"I don't want to try again! It's not happening, okay?! This isn't my job, I wasn't trained for this- you were! The only thing I was supposed to do was make sure Ashley, and you, were okay on the flight back home. And now, I'm stuck in a literal nightmare where even the fucking dogs want to eat me and I can't catch a break!" You yelled, tears welling in your eyes as all of your emotions spilled out of you.
"Not to mention that I already feel useless as it is, and you feel the need to drill me like-like I'm some stupid soldier, telling me all the things I'm doing wrong as if I don't know them myself!" You heaved, angrily wiping at the tears that managed to fall from your lashline.
Leon watched with a frown as everything unraveled and you fell apart at the seams.
"I... I hate this. I don't want to keep running and fighting only to keep falling on my ass. I wasn't made for this! If it wasn't for you, I would've given up already and I'd be dead." You spit the words his way and he couldn't tell if it was an accusation or not.
"I'm tired and hungry and disgusting and scared and.... I just want to go home." You didn't stop the sob that ripped from your chest as it all came down, the horrors of the last few days fresh in your mind.
You hated the dirt and blood that was caked under your fingernails. You hated how you reeked of sweat and guts. You hated how your throat felt dry and your stomach twisted in hunger.
And right now, you hated him, too. You hated how resilient he was, how he managed to pull through even when there was no easy way out.
Perhaps it was jealousy that you couldn't be like that. The thought only made you cry harder because it wasn't true. You didn't hate Leon, not at all.
You loved him. You loved him so much that it hurt sometimes, but the world was a cruel place that somehow managed to pit you against him.
Leon looked helpless and stunned as you wailed, screaming your throat sore. These days would change your life forever, and only for the worst.
He could feel an uncomfortable pull in his chest, and he swallowed thickly, his head hanging low.
With each heart-shattering cry, you could feel the exhaustion take over as all your strength you had left was drained.
Leon felt ashamed, in a sense, that he hadn't taken care of you better.
You were right.
You were never supposed to be here, to see and live through any of this.
He had made the mistake of thinking your mind was like his, that you were like him.
But you weren't, and that's why he loved you.
You were the moon in his pitch-black night, giving him your sacred light to guide him to safety.
You were the sun that filled his days with joy, making the flowers bloom as your warmth tickled his skin.
You were the stars that would keep him company on a lonely evening, sparkling with love as he wondered what fascinating tales could be behind them.
You were his everything, and he had failed you.
Without a word, he pulled you into his arms, delicately cupping the back of your head as he held you against his chest.
All you could do was weep into his shirt, trusting him to catch you if your knees were to give out.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled into the crown of your head, following it with a soft kiss.
His lips moved to your forehead, gently holding your face. Your sobs had quieted down to sniffles, gasps for air and soft cries as he wiped the tears from your cheeks and the snot from your nose.
Your arms were tightly wound around his middle.
"I'm sorry for not protecting you better. I'm sorry for thinking you were like me. Ashley might be important to the government, but you're important to me. And I will make sure we get home. I promise you I'll keep you safe." He spoke softly, gently stroking his thumb over your cheekbone.
You sniffled at his heartfelt words and and rested your forehead against his sternum.
"Thank you. Thank you for being you. Even if you're reckless and care way too much about others and it makes me want to lovingly kick your ass." You giggled wetly, followed by yet another sniffle as you wiped at your nose.
Leon huffed laugh, a soft smile gracing his lips.
"Thank you for allowing me to be the way I am." He responded gently, wrapping you up in his arms once again as he rested his chin on the top of your head.
You sunk into his embrace, a soft sigh slipping past your lips.
"I love you." You mumbled into his chest.
"I love you more."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
Your face dropped when Saddler twisted and contorted, limbs breaking while new, insectoid ones sprouted from odd parts of his body.
You watched in horror as he turned into a grotesque mutation of legs and eyes. You thought it was over. A foolish thing to think on your part. You should've expected this. After Méndez, and Ramón. Bile rose in your throat at the sight.
No matter how horrifying this was, his salvation didn't help him in the looks department.
You watched, heart pounding, as Leon threw himself into the thick of it, literally.
You stood back at a distance, doing your best to help him out with your mediocre shots. You managed to hit what you assumed was his knee now sporting a sickly looking eye.
His leg buckled and a scream ripped from his chest.
The fear that rushed through you when Saddler, or what was left of him, stared right at you with his disgusting eye was something you never wished to feel again.
The look was bone-chilling, your breath catching in your throat as you came face to face with the abyss that was the black pupil of his eyeball. Suddenly, you snapped back with a gasp, and your instincts kicked in.
You ran like you've never run before, your boots a heavy sound against the metal grate beneath your feet while your muscles burned.
From the corner of your vision, you could spot Leon with a determined scowl on his face while he continued to fill Saddler with mag after mag, hoping the lead would seep deep into his bones. Your lungs hurt as you sprinted away from Saddler.
You gulped heaves of air, hoping to get more oxygen to your muscles. Your one mistake, however, was slightly turning your head to look how far he was behind you.
He was hot on your tail, moving in an uncanny manner.
Like a broken toy, the mechanism jumbled.
One of his insectoid limbs hurled your way, your eyes widened, and in the split of a second, you threw yourself to a lower platform to evade his attempt on your life.
The air was knocked from you and pain shot up your nerves as you harshly hit the metal. You groaned and rolled onto your back, holding your side that would surely bloom in shades of blue and purple come morning.
If the morning ever came.
Leon's head snapped towards the noise and a bellowing call of your name made you turn to look at him. As best as you could, anyway.
He fed Saddler a few more bullets until he was stunned, collapsed in on himself while he spat illegible curses Leon's way, before running in your direction. You'd managed to get yourself to sit up but your gun was knocked out of your hand when you landed on the grate.
The ground shook beneath you as Leon jumped to your level, the steel bending under his weight.
He was beside you in an instant, pulling you up with a steady hand on your back.
"Are you okay?" He heaved, a worried crease between his brows.
Breathing hurt, you'd surely cracked a rib or two if they weren't broken.
"Y-Yeah, I'm good..." You forced out with a very unconvincing smile.
He gave you a sharp nod.
"Stay behind me-"
"WATCH OUT!" You yelled, watching in horror as Saddler came at the both of you with one of his pointy legs.
It was headed right for Leon, a fatal blow if you didn't act now. With only one thing on your mind, you smashed into him, pushing him out of the way as he fell with a grunt, the cling of metal echoing through the heavy air.
You had no time to get away yourself, so you were the victim of Saddler's attack as the spiny point of his limb pierced your abdomen.
It was a hot and agonizing pain as you sacked to your knees with a blood curdling scream. A raw and desperate scream erupted from Leon's chest as he watched the horror unfold in front of him.
His worst nightmare was now realer than it ever was in any of his dreams.
Everything became blurry as you desperately tried to stop your blood from spilling out of you. The crimson liquid spilled between your fingers.
You could barely make out Leon's silhouette as he heaved himself off the ground to reach you, only to be flung across the platforms by Saddler until he hit one of the metal railings with an unsettling noise.
It was like your head was wrapped in cotton, all sounds muffled as you tried to keep your eyes open.
Your breathing became shallow, and your fingertips felt cold as they slowly numbed. You could make out Saddler's taunting remarks and a kneeling Leon that had a rage in his eyes like you've never seen it before.
Your consciousness was slipping away from you, a hand still firmly pressed to the wound on your stomach even as your remaining strength was fading away.
You blinked away salty tears from your burning vision, touching your wet cheek only to leave behind a red stain.
"Leon.." You breathed out before your eyes rolled into the back of your head, and your arms fell slack to your side.
Leon's eyes burned with tears as he watched your form go limp, a sharp tug in his chest. With a newfound determination, he picked himself up, tightly gripping Saddler's staff before driving it into his large eye with a chilling scream, watching as all the grotesque lies spilled from him.
"So much for your salvation." He spat bitterly, burying one of his throwing knives right in the middle of Saddler's forehead for good measure.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
The next thing you knew you were envolped by a comforting warmth, strong arms holding you like so many times before, muffled promised whispered into your ear, the delicate stroke of a calloused thumb on your cheek and chapped lips pressed tenderly to your temple.
Your vision was dark still, only a faint string of consciousness making you aware enough to pick up on the familiar sound of helicopter blades.
Relief settled in your bones.
You'd done it. Well, Leon had, really.
Ashley was safe, Leon was safe, Saddler was gone. That was all that mattered. Your part was done.
You'd leave it to the Moirai whether to cut your string or to deem you worthy enough so Clotho would keep spinning it.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
Leon was a mess.
Red, bloodshot eyes with dark circles beneath them as he sat by your side tightly grasping your hand in his.
He hadn't slept in days, keeping himself awake with unhealthy amounts of shitty hospital coffee.
The only time he'd gone home- your shared home- was to shower and get a few things for you. And that only happened because Hunnigan was stubborn and persistent.
You looked so peaceful, a soft expression on your face as you took shallow breaths. You had all kinds of wires and tubes connecting you to various machines, but at least you could breathe on your own.
You were lucky, really, the surgeons had said the blow narrowly missed your spine. You were alive. You were stable, and the doctors were positive you'd make a full recovery.
But he couldn't shake the feeling that this had happened on his watch. He had promised to keep you safe, to protect you, and he'd failed once again.
The moment he saw you laying there limp, blood gushing from your abdomen, it felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest. That image would play in his mind over and over again until he died.
Leon sniffled and wiped a stray tear from his lashline, his thumb caressing your knuckles.
He didn't want to think of that horrible moment, but it was like that was all he could see when he looked at you. Your beautiful and angelic face now tainted with a horrific memory.
His hand found your cheek, cupping it gently.
"You're so stupid. So, so stupid. But if you wouldn't have been, I guess that would be me right now." He chuckled sadly, wiping at his nose.
"I wish it was." He mumbled, a heavy sigh following.
"Come back to me.." he whispered, his voice giving out as he brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face.
Leon pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before he left with a heavy heart, promising he'd be back tomorrow.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
He grew accustomed to the harsh white lights and the sterile smell of the hospital.
He looked terrible.
Sleep hadn't come easy to him, especially not on the ratty couch in your apartment that you'd wanted to replace for ages now.
Leon refused to sleep in your bed without you- not when you were in that horrible hospital fighting for your life.
He resorted to wrapping one of your shirts around his pillow, hoping it would give him the bit of comfort he so desperately craved, only to stain it with his tears.
The halls seemed to glum around him as he made his way to your room, rounding the corners with a familiar ease.
He took a deep breath as he stood in front of the door, collecting himself.
Leon was falling apart every time he left the hospital. Sobbing and crying in the shower, praying to whoever was up there to not take you from him, too.
He grasped the door handle and stepped inside, only for his world to stop for a second when he gazed upon you, awake, sitting up in the bed, laughing with a nurse.
The color had returned to your face, your eyes had that sparkle back that he loved so much, and your smile was enough to mend the tears in his heart.
He must've made a startled noise, his eyes wide and lips parted when the nurse turned to look at him with a soft expression.
You followed her gaze only to have tears welling in your eyes at the state of Leon.
"Leon." You choked out, shuffling to sit at the edge of the bed, dressed in one of his comfortable sweaters.
Any of the nurse's concerns fell on deaf ears as you opened your arms for him with a pleading look and glistening eyes.
His startled expression fell, replaced by a feeling of relief washing over him as a sob escaped his chest and he rushed over to you, falling to his knees and wrapping you up in his arms as carefully as he could.
Leon rested his head against your sternum, listening to the steady beat of your heart as he cried in your embrace.
You joined him, weeping as you gently stroked his sandy locks, your cheek pressed to the top of his head.
The nurse slipped out of the room promptly and quietly, leaving the two of you to let out all the overwhelming feelings that sat inside your chest.
"I thought I'd lost you..." he cried, slightly tightening his grip.
"I'd never leave you." You hiccuped, gently pulling his face from your chest, a wet patch on the fabric.
The pain and fear in his baby blues was enough to break your heart.
"No more crying, this is supposed to be a happy moment." You chuckled wetly, wiping his cheeks with the sleeves of your sweater.
"Sorry, I just-.. you're okay." He smiled sadly, cupping your cheeks.
"I'm okay." You nodded with a small smile.
He sighed heavily, resting his forehead against yours.
"I was so scared, I-"
"Shhh, it's alright. I'm okay, you're okay. A little roughed up, but nothing we can't handle." You spoke gently, nuzzling your nose with his.
Leon nodded and swallowed. He let out a shaky breath.
"You're right. I'm just glad you're alive." You smiled softly.
"So am I." You breathed out contently, letting your eyes fall shut in comfort.
"I love you." Leon whispered, his arms loosely wrapped around your middle, minding your bandaged stomach.
"I love you more." You replied with a soft giggle, pressing your lips to his in a gentle kiss. He sighed against your lips, one of his hands moving to cup your face. You pulled away with a soft smile.
"And another thing." You said quietly, making a puzzled expression take over his face.
"I quit." You said with a chuckle, pulling a laugh from him.
To see his face light up like that and to witness the dullness in his eyes vanish made your heart swell.
"I'll put in your notice with Hunnigan." He smiled, sniffling as he stroked your cheek.
You nodded with a giggle.
You let him climb into bed with you, snuggling into his chest so he could catch up on all the sleep he's lost.
You couldn't help but smile when you heard him snore softly, his breathing steady. You let yourself slip into sleep as well, giving your body the rest it needed to heal all while you were safely in his arms.
Perhaps the Sisters had deemed you worthy enough; Clotho was still working her spindel with skilled hands, Lachesis was carefully and delicately measuring your string and Atropos was taking her time polishing her scissors to a sparkling shine, so the blades would be sharp to cut your golden thread when the times was right.
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dear-slim · 25 days ago
Note
i just keep thinking about Eminem reacting to this new rapper girl (that he have been helping out in the music industry) and she releases a new song that is full Slim Shady Coded and he gets shock
(me & friend keeps talking abt this but we can't find anywhere a fic like itt
Warnings: swearing
Pairing: Eminem x fem!reader
A/N - MY FIRST REQUEST 😍😍 I gotchu boo, and excuse the cringe song name I made up at 10pm, half drunk and half asleep.
Also ChatGPT made these lyrics so don’t mind me
And, I wasn’t sure what you meant by slim shady coded, like, as in, something slim would sing or something related to him.
Dating another rapper wasn’t really what you expected when you joined the industry. Of course, it came with its classic ‘she’s only famous coz of Em’ bullshit, but you never paid mind to it.
Both you and your boyfriend knew perfectly well that you were a hit even before he’d entered the scene with you. All he’d done was promote your music with you, all of which was your own shit.
In his own words, he’d done nothing but be a good and supportive boyfriend, and he was right. Now, you usually ran your songs past Em, you wanted to know his thoughts and if he could make them better. After all, trust the pro, right?
But this song was a little different. You didn’t even know how you’d managed to keep it under the wraps, writing down lyrics in your notebook and staying up past when Em had fallen asleep to brainstorm lyrics.
Em was a key part of your life, he was helping your throughout the rough patches in your career, and the little surprise you’d planned was definitely something he deserved.
“Yo Em,” he heard a voice as he walked into the studio. Usually he’d hang with you, so he was pretty surprised when he heard a male voice coming from behind him, as he turned to see his long-time friend, 50.
“What’s good?” Em said, a little dazed, as he gave his friend a fist bump nonetheless. “Was just listening to some samples from your girl,” 50 explained as Em raised a brow.
“Some samples, hm? What song? She ain’t been writing one for a bit,” Em said, his eyes narrowed a little suspiciously. Em managed to catch a CD that 50 had thrust had thrust chest, as he walked over to the player, still a little bemused.
It was unlike you to keep a song hidden from him, as the tune to some song started.
Welcome to the circus, where the clowns run free,
Life’s a wicked game, and I’m holding the key.
Got the world on a string, watch the puppets dance,
In a realm of absurdity, I’ll take my chance.
Holy shit, that was crazy. He hadn’t expected a sudden change of style…and wow, it was damn hot, actually. He found his cheeks tinged a slight pink ad he thought about it, how you’d look in the studio, with the lyrics…
Yo, I’m rolling with the Shady, chaos in his eyes,
Life’s a wild ride, no need for disguise.
He’s a lyrical genius, wrapped up in a mess,
With a heart full of fire, but he’s got his stress.
He’s the king of the madness, got me feeling alive,
In a world of illusions, he’s the one who’ll survive.
With every twist and turn, I’m right by his side,
In this rollercoaster life, it’s a hell of a ride.
Em had to genuinely take out the CD, coz this was madness. He’d have never expected to see this from his girlfriend, even if you were a badass rap artist, but this was crazy. And extremely hot, at the same time.
“50! I said wait til I was here to show him,” he heard your voice as he turned round, eyes locking in yours, his lips parted in shock slightly as you flashed him a grin. “So?” you said, asking for his opinion as he spluttered, unable to formulate a sentence.
“Im taking that as a good sign,” you laughed nervously as he coughed. “A good sign?” he said, jaw going slack as he stared at you, “baby, this is amazing, this is gold!”. A proud smile jumped to your face at his words, cheeks tinged red.
“You think?” you asked a little sheepishly. “I think? No, baby, I know!” he said, hands coming to squeeze at your shoulders. This was gonna be a damn hit, and he was not complaining. Simply, just, further proof his girl deserved to be in the game.
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robsdiary · 9 months ago
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GOOD LOOKIN’ GIRL
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ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯
INCLUDES: loser!ellie, black!reader, masc!reader, fluff, ellie has NO game
You’d been working under your uncle, Seth. Ever since the pair of you arrived in Jackson. The late hour shifts of you two fooling around making new recipes. He had a knack for sandwiches. It was mind blowing how he’d be able to make a turkey sandwich different from the next ten times.
He wasn’t truly your uncle. He’d found you on your lonesome years ago. You were malnourished, one hand broken and damaged, the other clutching on an empty pistol like your life depended on it. Your nose bloodied, all you had to your name was bright yellow rain boots and a jacket large enough to be considered a dress on you, and your thick curls in a frizzy uncared for bun. It was astonishing you managed to last that long.
Deciding to take you along with him in pursuit of finding a place of his own. You were a tough case.
You never talked, face always holding a blank stare. You’d seen things, Seth knew, and he didn’t pry. Your eyes carried a haunted shine, something you could never shake. Being alone most of your life is just what you’d gotten used to. Your parents had decided to flee from the Louisiana Quarantine Zone. They’d been shot in the process. Your father killed on impact and your mother lasted long enough to get to the next town over. You were only ten.
You wondered in solitude with your fathers pistol. Slowly making your way into Arkansas. Being forced to use your fathers pistol for your own safety. Gunning down two runners and a man that’d been charging at you. Five bullets.
It’d been about a week. You ducking behind buildings, scavenging for anything edible. Having to narrowly escape hungers or hordes, surviving off pure perseverance and fumes clearly didn’t prove helpful for a 10 year old. You collapsed, face up at the scorching sun, you didn’t cry, just stared. Staring at nothing in particular you stomach felt as if it were twisting itself inside out. A soft groan leaving you lips as you slowly faded into unconsciousness.
Eyes opening one last time to see a figure with a beer gut standing over top of you.
So here you were. Wrapping your hundredth sandwich of the day. Handing them off to people preparing for patrol. That’s how you met Jesse.
Over a while, you began to break from your shell. You kept a small circle, a few people who volunteered to work in Jackson’s theater, putting on plays and performances when the movies available got stale. And Jesse. He mocked you for your accent, you mocked him for his, you’d sneak him extra food, have arm wrestled over the freshly polished wooden counters, and banter. You couldn’t ask for a better friend that understood you.
Your uncle seemed to think the opposite.
“You and that Jesse seems to be getting along swell.” He muttered quietly. Peeling potatoes hurriedly.
The Tipsy Bison was quiet. The wooden floorboards creaking intermittently whenever someone took a step. It was just the two of you. Prepping for open, you’d rather be doing anything else.
“He fine.” You shrugged dismissively. Washing the used cutlery and beer glasses.
“Look out for that boy. You know their type only want one thing.” He huffed. Wiping his nose against the sleeve of his shirt, continuing to peel the dirty skin.
You bit your cheek. Keeping quiet as a soft exhale left your lips. Blinking slowly, divulging into thought. Jesse was an alright guy, they got along, had fun hanging out. But you never considered him in such a way. It made you snarl and cringe at the thought, gross.
The door to the establishment opened slowly. Your head quickly wiping to the entrance. Ready to cuss out the same alcoholics that kept entering every ten minutes to question if you were open. But it was someone completely different.
Taking notice of the shorter girl who’d found her way inside. Short auburn hair being put into a lazy low bun, clothes randomly mismatched, and impressively dirty converse, soft freckles peppered her face. Her eyes quickly flickering from your face to look down at the polished table.
An uncomfortable silence fell between the two of you. Your brow furrowed in confusion. Waiting for her to state her business.
“Can I help you?” You questioned snappily. Cocking your head to the side, coming off more unpleasant than intended.
Her head swiftly came up. Seeming to come up from whatever daze she’d been in. Gulping and nervously clearing her throat.
“Two sandwiches, please?” She asked quietly, sounding more of a question than a order. Her voice cracked and brittle, a clear anxiousness on her face. A shake in her tone. Looking down at her hands as she played with them.
“We’re clo—”
“Nah it's good. Maria gave special orders for them.” Seth interrupted from the kitchen.
“Ellie.” A pale hand met your field of vision. Apparently so, you were left with her.
You returned the shake. Exchanging names with her. Returning back to your duties, a look of disinterest on your face. Scrubbing away at the cutlery.
Clearly, the situation was somewhat awkward. Ellie nervously shifted on her heels as your eyes bored through her soul. You weren’t one to catch onto social cues.
“So you’re friends with Jesse?” She piped up. Returning your gaze, anxious to look a way.
“We hang out time to time.” You responded dismissively. Unsure as to why she cared, specks of water from your scrubbing splashing onto your cheeks and the table
“Yeah. I see the two if you together all the time.”
“You’ve been watching me?”
You questioned. A stern look on your face as your jaw clenched. Head tilted as you watched her body language. Watching how her eyes nervously darted around the room to avoid yours. Taking a long exhale.
“I’ve just seen you around, I dunno, you seem cool.” She shrugged, a light tinge of pink on her cheeks
“I am?”
Time felt impossibly slow. Seth was able to make a sandwich in less than three minutes. It felt torturous as to how long it was taking him.
“Some friends and I were planning on sneaking out..” Ellie whispered, wide eyes peering up at you with hope.
“Jesse’ll be there…”
You choose to stay quiet. Not used to being around much people. You weren’t the social setting type. But that and spending your off week peeling potatoes and washing dishes. The choice was clear.
Uneven footsteps could be heard from behind you. Seth lugging two sandwiches in his hands. A thin lipped smile as he handed them off the the auburn haired girl.
“Two steak sandwiches.”
“Thanks, Joel will love ‘em.”
Silence fell between the two of you. Ellie biting her bottom lip, Seth standing wide with both hands on his hips, and you, straight faced and stiff.
Seth looked between the pair of you. Analyzing the both of you, Ellie’s poker face subpar at best.
“Right. Well, best get back to work.” He smiled at Ellie, softly patting your shoulder and turning away.
Ellie watched intently as Seth hobbled away. Turning her attention back to you as he turned the corner. A shy smile on her face as she looked up at you expectantly.
“Think about it. Alright? You could bring your boyfriend or whatever, and it’ll be fun.”She nervously stammered, voice slowly trailing off. Waiting for you to acknowledge her not so subtle inquiry.
“Boyfriend?” You questioned, tilting your head cluelessly. Your tone dull.
It was hard for anyone to truly have a conversation with you. A difficult girl to crack. The tension between you was palpable. You on the other hand, none the wiser.
“I’ll come.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up. A dorky grin etching across her face. A soft uncontrollable giggle leaving her lips
“Alone.” You clarified. Arms crossed against your chest defensively, for what? You weren’t sure.
She smiled like a child. Feeling giddy enough to race around the bar. Settling on controlling herself.
“Okay, i’ll see you around— tonight! I’ll see you tonight and around.” She placed an emphasis on the ‘and’. A blush creeping across her face as she slowly crept towards the door.
“Bye..”
“Bye, Ellie.”
She pushed open the door. Scurrying out of sight. You watched from the windows as she walked to the stables. A small pep in her step.
You felt.. odd. Blinking irregularly, you’d never interacted with a person like this. It felt nice, enjoyable even.
Hearing familiars rough footsteps heard from behind you. A calloused hand landed on your shoulder. Seth’s eyes following yours.
“I know a cat fight when I see it.” His voice rasped. Eyes narrowed as he watched Ellie practically skip away.
“Don’t fight over that, Jesse. There’s better guys here, you’ll find the one.” He gently patted your shoulder, walking off.
You shook your head in amusement, Gripped the dish rag tightly. Brows knit together. Something that could be considered a smile etching across your lips.
You looked forward to tonight.
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unabashegirl · 2 months ago
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Vicious 10 | Mafia HS
After his father's death, Harry Styles must take control of the family mafia while dealing with his unpredictable brother, Silas. He meets Y/N Castellano, the daughter of an Italian mafia boss, and learns about their arranged marriage.
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Author's note: hello everyone, I hope you are all having a wonderful week. Here is a new chapter enjoy! Let me know what you think :)
check out my patreon (starting at $2) and get full access to all 25 chapters, various one shots and much more :)
warnings: violence, abuse, cursing
vicious masterlist
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Four days had passed since Harry had dragged her down into the darkness of the dungeon. Four long days since she had felt the warmth of the sun on her skin. The air down here was cold, damp, and heavy with the musty scent of stone and decay. Food and water were brought to her, but they did little to ease the weight of her confinement.
Y/N shivered as she huddled in the corner of the damp cell, the chains around her wrists and ankles digging into her skin. The darkness seemed to press in on her from all sides, suffocating her with its suffocating embrace.
Her mind raced with thoughts of escape, of freedom from this prison that Harry had condemned her to. But each time she tried to move, the chains held her fast, a cruel reminder of her captivity.
The days blurred together into a haze of fear and despair. She lost track of time, of how many meals had been brought to her, of how many times she had cried out for help only to be met with silence.
At night, when the dungeon fell into an eerie silence broken only by the distant sound of dripping water, Y/N found herself consumed by dread. The shadows seemed to come alive, twisting and shifting in the darkness, whispering taunts and threats that echoed in her mind.
But despite the darkness and the cold, Y/N refused to let despair consume her. She clung to a flicker of hope, a small ember of defiance burning within her. She knew she had to stay strong, to endure, until the day came when she could break free from these chains and the man who had put her here.
"How long are you going to keep her downstairs?" Charlie's voice cut through the tense air of Harry's office as he paced back and forth, his concern evident in his furrowed brow.
"As long as needed," Harry replied curtly, his attention focused on the packages that had arrived at the house. Some contained thinly veiled threats, others held payments or favors owed.
"Calm down, Charlie. She isn't dying down there," Lex interjected, his voice tinged with annoyance. "We've had people genuinely hurt, surviving for months in those cells."
"She isn't just anyone, Lex. She's Federico's daughter," Charlie retorted, his worry deepening. "Keeping her locked up down there only raises the risk of sparking a war with the Italians."
Harry paused, his jaw clenching as he considered Charlie's words. The implications of his actions weighed heavily on him, the potential consequences looming large in his mind.
"We can't risk it," Charlie continued, his voice firm.
Harry remained silent for a moment, the gravity of the situation settling heavily upon him. He knew Charlie was right, but his pride and anger clouded his judgment.
"We'll see," Harry finally replied, his voice hard. "For now, she stays where she is."
Charlie nodded, a sense of unease settling over him as he watched Harry continue to sift through the packages. Deep down, he knew that the longer Y/N remained locked away in the dungeon, the greater the risk of irrevocable consequences. But convincing Harry of that was another matter entirely.
“What the hell is this?" Lex exclaimed, his voice filled with disbelief as he pulled something out of the box addressed to Harry.
"It's a finger," Charlie replied grimly after examining the piece. The finger was meticulously manicured, adorned with a large diamond ring. Lex recoiled, dropping the grisly item back into the box and rummaging through the contents in search of a note. However, there was nothing to be found except for a phone.
"I don't understand. Is it a threat? Did they kidnap one of us? What is it supposed to mean?" Lex's questions hung heavy in the air, his confusion mirrored in the faces of the other men in the room. "Completely clueless about this one."
"Send the phone to be unblocked and searched. Get rid of the finger," Harry ordered, his voice hard and decisive. The situation was becoming increasingly unnerving, and he knew they needed answers quickly.
Charlie nodded, his expression grim as he carefully collected the items from the box. The severed finger, with its ominous ring, was a chilling reminder of the dangers lurking just outside their doors.
After delivering the phone to a member of the IT team, Charlie couldn't shake off the unease that settled in his gut. He knew he wasn't supposed to go down there, into the dark chambers where Harry kept her locked away. The risk was immense—being caught could mean facing the same fate or worse. But he couldn't bear the thought of Y/N suffering such harsh punishment for attempting to escape.
With a quick glance around to ensure no one was watching, Charlie made his way down the narrow staircase that led to the underground chambers. The air grew colder and damper with each step, the darkness enveloping him like a suffocating shroud.
Finally reaching the heavy iron door that sealed off Y/N's prison, Charlie hesitated for a moment. He could hear the faint echoes of her sobs from the other side, sending a pang of guilt and sympathy through him.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Charlie reached for the latch and slowly pushed the door open. The dim light of a single bulb flickered overhead, casting eerie shadows across the stone walls.
Y/N was curled up on the cold floor, her knees drawn up to her chest as she shivered in the dampness of the dungeon. The sight of her in such a vulnerable state struck a chord deep within Charlie.
"Y/N?" he whispered softly, his voice barely audible in the oppressive silence.
She looked up, her eyes wide with surprise and a glimmer of hope. "Charlie?" her voice trembled, tears glistening in the dim light.
Charlie knelt down beside her, ignoring the gnawing fear in the pit of his stomach. "I brought you something," he said quietly, holding out a blanket and a pillow.
Her eyes widened in disbelief as she reached out to take it. “Thank you…” she began, her voice catching in her throat.
"How are your wrists?" Charlie asked softly, his eyes filled with concern as he noticed the bruises and swelling.
"Painful," Y/N replied, her voice barely above a whisper, her gaze fixed on her injured wrists.
Charlie reached into his pocket and pulled out a small tube of gel. "Here," he said, offering it to her. "This should help with the pain."
Y/N took the tube gratefully, unscrewing the cap and squeezing a small amount onto her fingertips. The cool gel soothed the ache as she carefully rubbed it onto her wrists, sighing with relief as the pain began to ease.
"Thank you," Y/N murmured, her eyes meeting Charlie's with gratitude. "Why are you helping me? I thought you hated me.”
"I'll come down tonight if I have a chance," Charlie said, changing the subject. "Maybe I'll bring you something different than oatmeal for dinner."
A small smile tugged at Y/N's lips. "I'd appreciate that," she said, her eyes softening with warmth.
Charlie nodded, a sense of determination in his gaze. "Hang in there, Y/N. We'll find a way to get you out of here."
With those words of reassurance, Charlie turned to leave, his footsteps echoing faintly in the dimly lit dungeon. Y/N watched him go, a flicker of hope growing in her chest. Perhaps, with Charlie's help, there was a chance for escape after all.
Later that day, during dinner, Lex burst into the dining room where Harry was dining alone.
"Boss, the phone is from someone named Gianna Rossi. She recently got married to a guy named Augusto Rossi. Turns out he used to attend college with none other than Federico Castellano," Lex shared, handing over the papers to Harry. "There are multiple chats between Gianna and Y/N. They're apparently best friends."
Harry's eyes narrowed as he scanned through the documents, his mind racing with possibilities. "So... it's her finger? Gianna's?" he asked, a cold edge to his voice. “Why would he sent it here? We don’t even know her”
"Y/N and Gianna were planning to escape the night she went out the window and we found her in the woods. But after that night, they've had no contact whatsoever," Charlie explained, his eyes serious as Harry glanced up from his meal. "Apparently this Augusto guy is a real piece of work. I'm guessing she got caught, and things haven't been going too well for her since then.”
Harry's jaw clenched as he absorbed this information. He had suspected that Y/N wasn't acting alone in her escape attempt, but the extent of her connection to Gianna and Augusto surprised him. The thought of her planning this with her best friend, not for some lover, but for freedom from him, ignited a mix of emotions within him.
Regret crept in, unexpected and unwelcome. He had believed her escape was for a man, for love or desire, but now he saw the truth. It was about freedom, about escaping the life he had offered her. The realization hit him like a physical blow, stirring up a tumult of conflicting feelings.
Anger flared first, a hot surge of resentment at her betrayal. How dare she conspire against him with someone he didn't know, someone who could pose a threat to everything he had built? But beneath the anger, there was a hollow ache of regret.
Regret for not seeing it sooner, for not understanding her motives. Regret for chaining her in the dark, cold depths of the dungeon, treating her like a criminal instead of a woman he had cared for in his own way.
Harry stood from his seat, the chair scraping loudly against the floor in the silence of the room. He paced the length of the dining hall, his mind whirling with thoughts of what to do next. He couldn't let this betrayal go unpunished, but he also couldn't deny the strange mix of feelings that stirred within him.
The image of Y/N, defiant and vulnerable, haunted him. He could almost feel the softness of her skin under his fingertips, the warmth of her breath against his neck. The memory of their moments together, the stolen glances and shared touches, lingered in his mind.
"Find out everything you can about this Augusto Rossi," Harry ordered, his voice low and dangerous. “I want to know if he has any type of current business with Federico and find out about Gianna’s family and who they are” Lex and Charlie nodded before leaving the room.
Harry remained seated, his appetite gone as he pushed around the food on his plate. The conversation with Lex and Charlie had left a sour taste in his mouth, the image of Y/N chained downstairs haunting his thoughts.
He couldn't shake the feeling of regret that gnawed at him, each bite of food becoming more difficult to swallow. The realization of what he had done, of how he had treated her, weighed heavily on his mind.
The once appetizing meal now seemed tasteless, the clinking of utensils against plates echoing in the otherwise silent room. Harry found himself lost in thought, his mind drifting back to Y/N and the desperation in her eyes.
The image of her chained in the dungeon flashed before his eyes, the memory of her pleading eyes and muffled cries sending a pang of guilt through him. He had acted out of anger, out of fear of losing control, but now he saw the consequences of his actions.
Pushing the plate away, Harry ran a hand through his hair, frustration and regret mingling in his thoughts. He should have handled the situation differently, should have given her a chance to explain herself.
But now it was too late, and he was left with the weight of his decisions pressing down on him.
Harry walked with heavy steps, the weight of his actions pressing down on him like a leaden cloak. He couldn't deny the mess he had made, the damage he had inflicted on his relationship with Y/N, and the repercussions it would have on his awaiting marriage.
As he reached the door to the dungeon, his heart clenched with a mixture of dread and regret
---> chapter 11
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in which Katniss contemplates Gale and Peeta (one of the many times), futures with them:
Gale:
Gale comes up behind me and we examine each other's reflection. I'm searching for something to hang on to, some sign of the girl and boy who met by chance in the woods five years ago and became inseparable. I'm wondering what would have happened to them if the Hunger Games had not reaped the girl. If she would have fallen in love with the boy, married him even. And sometime in the future, when the brothers and sisters had been raised up, escaped with him into the woods and left 12 behind forever. Would they have been happy, out in the wild, or would the dark, twisted sadness between them have grown up even without the Capitol's help?
Peeta:
But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.
The bit about the "dark, twisted sadness" with Gale lets me know that it's not just about Gale's role in Prim's death because Katniss is imagining a world where Prim is alive and well, and still there's something dark and wrong able to grow between them. Because Gale has shown her repeatedly the ways in which he lets her down, dismisses her, is unkind to her - often at times when she desperately needs him to just be there for her, to understand her. He has rage and hatred that doesn't serve Katniss or who she is.
Compared to Peeta, who steadies her and stays beside her after undergoing horrific trauma. Still he works hard to be able to be beside her in the way that she needs. He is hope, he is rebirth, he is goodness. He is what's precious to her and he shows her that time and time again. He is there for her in ways she didn't even know she needed, and when he's gone she painfully feels his absence.
"I know this would have happened anyways" - mind you, she's known of Peeta before she knew of Gale. And I believe this is her (romantic daydreaming self) recognising that they would've always found their way to each other, even without the games (though that certainly put things into motion and sped them up).
It was always going to be Peeta and Suzanne Collins was very intentional about that throughout the trilogy.
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