#and they found love with each other and have been incredible parents but idk if I could be as selfless or clinical as they were

[myromanholidays]

unlearning the societal expectation that as a woman I must get married and have kids cuz I can barely take care of myself let alone another human and realizing a child free life seems exciting to me while the alternative strikes the fear of Catholic god in me - but also having baby fever and being good with kids and genuinely enjoying conversations I’ve had with teens and finding it easy to visualize what life as a mother could be like and remembering badass women I know who had children in their forties and I don’t have to figure it all out now I don’t even have to be married maybe I should freeze my eggs - but then thinking that if I were to have kids I’d prefer to have at least one coparent living with me and I’d want to have a child younger so we could spend more time together and they wouldn’t have to worry as much about me passing away early in their life - but suddenly remembering what the FUCK pregnancy does to your body and thinking fuck no if I have a kid I will adopt and give a child a loving home without shredding my vagina and altering my physical chemistry permanently and - wait a minute do I even want a fucking kid could I really take on that responsibility and do it well, I don’t think that’s right for me - yet my body is possibly capable of this magical scientific thing it can create new life I kind of want to experience that maybe I can be a surrogate and tenderly care for the thing growing in my belly for 9 months until they are born and bring unimaginable joy to their future family where they will be cherished for their whole life - but if I’m getting pregnant anyway why wouldn’t I be able to care for a child I’ve had great family role models and while it takes a village I have a strong tribe, I could pass on the good things like meaningful traditions and keeping my ancestors’ legacy alive and - oh ho ho that is the social conditioning talking I don’t have to be a mom to be a good influence to the next generation, if it’s not a hell yes it’s a hell no but also -

[angel-eyes05]

a line drawn in red

pairing: wade wilson x fem!reader

summary: you and your across the door neighbor have a complicated relationship with each other. things only seem to grow more murky after you invite him to a work party to embarrass your ex.

warnings: nsfw mdni 18+, friends with benefits, mentions of oral sex, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up guys), angry sex at the beginning, very sweet and tender at the end, pre-mutation deadpool cause lowkey i need to see ryan reynold's face in my mind lol, fake dating idk its confusing, wade's a bit of a rebound for a little bit, ever so slight dirty talk, wade using stupid little cringey pet names, pansexual deadpool moments because i love my canon king, you can see my wade wilson headcanons LOUD AND CLEARRRR here rip

word count: 6.8k (this is my longest fic to date are you guys happy)

notes: heyyyyyy so funny story i was meant to post this in like july/august when deadpool and wolverine came out to jump on the trend buttttt i got really burnt out as soon as i got to the smut part of this and then dropped it....BUT I FOUND THIS AGAIN AND FINISHED IT SO WE'RE ALL GOOD this is gonna get zero interaction cause the trend is over but ykw idc i really like what i did here so i hope you enjoy lol. i also did not really proofread this i was too excited to post it lol

dividers by: @cafekitsune

Apartment searching was probably the worst part of the breakup. Which was saying a lot considering how hard you took his news. Raoul and you had been together for about 6 and a half years, and had even gone as far as to move in with each other. It seemed like a good trade off, considering how much the two of you would be saving on rent. And with his parents being filthy rich and owning about half the apartment buildings in Manhattan, the two of you picked a particularly nice one.

Life seemed to be sailing by on calm waters. You had finally moved out of your shitty apartment with your shitty roommate and in with the love of your life, Raoul's stiff parents seemed to finally be warming up to you. To top it all off, you had finally scored a promotion at work. Coming from a less than steady foundation as a child, moving up in your work was something you prided yourself on greatly. It didn't pay as much as Raoul's did, but you loved what you did, and were damn good at it. That was enough.

It never was for him though. Not for his reputation. Or better yet, his parents'. Which is exactly what caused the breakup. "You know how my mother is, she's never going to be happy as long as I'm dating someone with your background." The words still rang in your ears. Your background. The words tasted like rotten fish. Just as you thought he was getting ready to pop the question to you also. He had the decency to let you stay in the apartment until you found your own, but you could tell pity was the fuel behind that fire.

You wanted a place in the city, close to work, but that proved incredibly difficult. After what felt like years of looking at "fixer-uppers" and failed bargain attempts, you finally found one. Was it nice? No. It was a tiny studio, with the only room separate from the main area being a minuscule bathroom. The view was shit, the lights flickered like a disco, and it was a mission to get hot water. But it was a three minute walk from your work building and was the cheapest room you had found so far, so you decided to settle.

You kept to yourself the first week after you moved in, only really leaving to go to work and do your laundry. Your friends had begged you to go out and explore the city with them, but you couldn't seem to drag yourself out of bed. You had been so busy apartment shopping in the past few months that you forgot to do something: Mourn your relationship. The minute you placed down the last bowl in the cabinet, the waves of grief crashed on top of you instantaneously.

Would it have worked out if you came from money? You try not to think about how the answer is most likely yes.

One late night while you're wrapped up and crying in your bedsheets, you hear the first knock on your door since you've moved in. You instinctually bury yourself further in the covers, praying the knocking will stop and whoever's at the door will get bored and go away.

It doesn't.

With a groan, you mosey out of bed, throw on a pair of pants, and answer the door. Rubbing your eyes, you find yourself looking at your neighbor. You had seen him a few times in the hallway when you would take down your dirty laundry, but you didn't pay much attention to him. He seemed to be in and out of the building, which was probably why you didn't even know his name. He was pretty tall, had light brown hair that was just long enough to not be considered a buzzcut, and a little scar slashing across his right eyebrow.

"Listen, I know this is weird and I know we haven't even met properly yet, but my microwave short circuited and I've been looking forward to chowing down on this burrito all day and I think if I don't get to eat it, I'll genuinely go crazy and destroy this entire apartment building."

You had to be delirious or something, there was no way he was jumping out of the gate with his first introduction to you like this. But low and behold, he lifted up the tin foil wrapped burrito next to your face as evidence for his dilemma. "With the power of whatever sick fuck looking down on us from up there, can I PLEASEEEEEE use your microwave?" he downright begged.

You took about 15 seconds to just stare at him and comprehend what just happened. "And you thought I was the best person to ask for this? Not any of the other ten people who live on this floor?" you asked bluntly. He scoffed at you.

"Well, for your information missy, it's a pretty well known fact that most people are away in dreamville at you know, 2:30 in the morning. And I've had a habit of noticing you like to have your tv blaring around this time of night, while not many other people on this floor do. So, using my beautiful detective skills, I came to the conclusion that you're the only other person up right now. And guess what! I was right!" This guy was weird.

You groaned and rubbed your face. "And you know, how else was I going to find an excuse to finally introduce myself to the hot girl who just moved across the hall to me." You glared at his cheesy comment, while he flashed a fake smile and waved the burrito next to his face.

You sighed, knowing you'd probably regret this. "In and out," you said, moving out of the doorframe and letting him inside. "Oh my god if you had a dick I would suck it so good right now," he exclaimed as he rushed inside like a little school boy, making his way right to the microwave and popping in the burrito. You took a second to comprehend his comment. "Yeah yeah whatever," is what you decided to reply with, not having the energy to argue with the man.

You slopped down on one of the chairs placed at your kitchen island, and substitution for a table, and let your head rest on the table while you waited for the man to leave. He leaned against the countertop while he waited for his burrito. You could feel the vibrations of his fingers tapping against the counter. "What do you want," you groaned. "How long ago?" he asked, shortly. "What?" "How long ago did they dump you?" Your head shot up off the counter. "Excuse me?" He smirked. Almost like his goal was to piss you off. "You had a partner, probably guy, definitely long term, he was rich, you weren't, parents got in the way, and you got kicked to the curb."

Clocked you from a mile away.

The sounds of the beeping microwave echoed in the uncomfortably silent room.

"Get your food and get out." "Someone's not very hospitable," he snarked. You got off the chair, walked up to the man, and slapped him across the cheek. "You come banging on my door at 2 in the morning, don't even have the decency to introduce yourself, you use up my appliances, and then you flat out insult me?!?! Kicking you out is probably the nicest thing I could do right now!" you shouted. He turned his head back to face you, staring dead into your eyes. You weren't sure if you were frightened, infuriated, or turned on by his look.

"Let me show you a better time," he groveled into your ear. Jesus, why couldn't it be daylight outside.

In the day, you have control over yourself. The sun gives you a sense of clarity, almost like the light shines in on your brain and gives you the ability to make good decisions. During the night hours, you still know good from bad. It's just much harder for you to stop yourself from going the wrong way.

He must have heard the way your breath hitched, because you could hear the slight snicker he let out shortly after. He could see you were still debating it though. "Listen. This is up to you. But just so I can plead my case, you're one of the most beautiful people I've seen in my whole life, and I work around a lot of hotties, so thats saying something." "You're losing me, tiger," you cut him off. He stutters and regains his footing. "I'd hate to see someone as beautiful as you get thrown off their game cause of some jerk who didn't know what he had until he lost it. I've seen it too many times and I'd hate to see it happen to you too."

You lean in a little, ears perking up. "I personally think, I can give you a better time than he ever could. So, we're gonna do this. If I'm better than he was, you gotta promise me that you'll get back out there. Capeesh?" You closed your eyes and rubbed your bridge. He leans into your ear. "And if you like it enough, who knows, I'd be down to make this into a thi-." "Just let me think!" you push him off you. He backs up, grabs his burrito from out of the microwave, and starts munching.

This is stupid. This is so stupid. It had only been three months since you and Raoul finished, but you were so ready to get into bed with this basically stranger. You honestly just wanted him to stop bugging you. But all things considered, at least he was an attractive rebound. And he seemed to know the situation and what this meant. You just needed a distraction at this point. From everything, and especially Raoul. This was sure to do that. Besides, what did you have to lose? Definitely not your dignity.

You looked over to see him eating his burrito. God you were so pathetic, this was actually turning him on. The way his mouth was gently moving around it. You were getting wet just thinking about the way it would maneuver around your folds. Fuck. This was really your decision wasn't it. Made by the way a man eats his burrito. Pathetic.

"Fine." He looked up from his meal. "Just this once though," you added. "Yeah whatever, we'll see how you feel when we're done," he teased. You grabbed his arm and led him to your bed on the other side of the apartment. You slowly stripped off your pants and underwear, agreeing with him that you could keep your shirt on. The next hour or so was full of pure adrenaline and ecstasy. He knew how to press every single one of your buttons as his mouth worked wonders on your pussy. You had the unfortunate feeling that you would be seeing him again after this.

Once he finished another round on your clit, he wiped his mouth and stuck his hand out to you from in between your legs. "Wade Wilson. Apartment D05." You couldn't help but giggle at the silly gesture. You then stated your name and apartment number and shook Wade's hand. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr. Wilson." "Oh please, Mr. Wilson was my father, call me Wade. And the pleasure is all mine of course." He flashed a big smile when you giggled at his joke and dove right back into your pussy. The two of you kept going until the sun came up.

The two of you made an agreement after that night. If either one of you was sexually frustrated, lonely, or just plain horny, you two would go down on each other. Friends with benefits or something like that. Cause the two of you did talk to each other outside of sex too. Wade was a funny guy. He had his sweet moments too, despite being pretty brash. But man was he annoying.

He had a problem with never knowing when to shut up. This was a pattern during sex also. As more and more sessions went on, you noticed him becoming more and more vocal. Taking breaks to talk to your pussy while he would eat you out, striking up a conversation with you while you had a mouth full of dick. "Wade, I swear to God, if you want me to actually finish you off, you better shut the fuck up," you found yourself saying most nights, wiping his precum off your mouth. "Oh trust me sweetheart, women have left me hanging in worse situations," he would tease back.

Some nights you found yourself finishing off angrier than when you started. The two of you argued a lot. Mostly over dumb shit. Wade had a knack for pissing you off. Whether it was stealing things from your apartment, being too loud with the other people he would bring to his apartment, or just being plain forgetful with plans. Almost every outing to a club would end up with the two of you drunkly screaming at each other. But man, the way he would work on your swollen pussy with his tongue afterwards. You found yourself easily forgiving him move of the time. His argument was strong after all.

There was a set list of rules the two of you followed though. For boundaries sake. "We keep it to your apartment," he added as you wrote down details on a notepad. "Ugh, why mine?" you whined. "Cause mine's too dirty and I know your clean freak ass would have a heart attack upon seeing it." True, the way he talked about his apartment made it seem like a breeding ground for a STD. "And let me guess, you're too lazy to clean it up?" you jab back. "Hit the nail right on the head, darling!" he smiled sarcastically, taking a light swipe at your chin.

"Whatever, my turn. I don't want any you know...actual sex stuff." Wade raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean?" You shrugged your shoulders, a little embarrassed. "I don't know, just like...I'd rather stick to the oral stuff I guess." Wade couldn't help but snicker. "What, you scared my dick's too big to fit in it or something?" "No, asshole!" you shouted, bopping the top of his head with the notepad. "It just feels...too personal I guess," you said, beet red.

What Wade didn't know was that going that far was just too intimate for you right now. You already felt guilty enough getting into this "relationship" with this man you barely know after just getting out of an almost seven year relationship. You didn't want Wade to feel like some kind of rebound. Even if he kinda was. You weren't sure if he even cared though. For all you know, he was just happy to get some pussy.

"Whatever, your loss cupcake," Wade shook off. "Fine then, I get my own special condition." "Hit me," you said, sitting up. "No kissing." "What?!" you shouted. "That's so stupid, thats no where near the same level as mine! Mine is at least a little understandable!" "Hey, you have your reasons, I have mine," Wade argued. "Fine....You'll still kiss up on my pussy though, won't you Wade?" you asked, grabbing him by his shirt collar and pulling him in closer to you. "Well what else is it there for, certainly not for sticking my dick in," he teased. You gave his already erect dick a smack and dragged him down into you bed, taking off his pants for your next session.

The next couple of months looked exactly like this, with a few trauma dumps in between of course. This was comfortable. You were still getting action, but nothing too much or serious. And Wade was a good guy for you. Or for this at least. Sometimes you would sit and wonder if the two of you could, you know, become more than this. An actual couple. Wade was your best friend. Yeah, he was a little shit, but he had been there for you more than anyone else before. He understood where you came from, because he came from the same roots. Him being really hot helped too you know.

But you could never be sure if he felt the same way. You weren't sure if he was the type for an actual relationship. Yeah, your crush on him seemed to grow bigger with each passing day, but this was easier for the both of you. Not ideal. But again. Comfortable.

Things started to change really fast though when a certain instagram story crossed your feed. "That bitch!" Wade heard you shout while out at Weasel's bar. "What now, someone twist up your panties?" Wade sarcastically added. You flip your phone over him show to one of your work friends with her new boyfriend.

A fourth month anniversary hard launch. "No way, is that him?" He asked, picking up the clues quickly. You nodded silently. You had failed to mention your past relationships to your friend Clarissa, so she must have thought he was some stranger or something. You had no idea how they met and started dating, but Raoul had seemed to come back into your life as soon as he left it. And you knew for a fact you'd be seeing him soon.

"I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do about this stupid party," you repeated to Wade as you paced your apartment floor, topless. Wade sat back on your bed, sipping on a beer bottle, his pants off. "He's definitely gonna be there, it's a Holiday party for God's sake! Everyone always goes to those stupid parties! And of course everyone goes with their partners so of course Clarissa is gonna bring him!" "And why do you have to go?" Wade asked calmly. You stopped pacing. "Because Wade my promotion basically lies in the hands of me making a good impression, which means going to every work function they've got. Valentine's Day dance, Thanksgiving dinner, and especially the Winter Gala," you recited.

You flopped on top of the bed in anger, letting out fake, annoyed sobs. Wade groaned, set his beer bottle on the nightstand, and lifted your face up with his two cupped hands. "If I go with you will that shut you up?" You stopped your fake tantrum and sat up. "Um, are you being serious with me right now?" He nodded. "Is that not asking too much? I mean like...I don't know if it's typical for someone to go to a work party with their friend with benefits," you brought up.

Wade cleared his throat. "Well, we don't have to tell anyone that. As far as your employers, and especially Raoul, know...we're dating." You sat to yourself and thought for a minute. It'd be nice to have someone accompany you to the torturous party. And plus, making Raoul jealous would be a bonus. "That wouldn't be too much? Like what about the whole no kissing thing, isn't it weird for a couple to not kiss?" you asked. "Hey, couples don't kiss all the time! And plus, we can still hold hands and stuff. Just the bare minimum. But I think it could work." He watched you as the smile grew more and more onto your face. You leaped into his arms, embracing him. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you Wade! You don't know what this means!"

Wade took a second, but he tightly wrapped his arms around your back and tightened the hug. "Anything for my favorite girl," he said quietly next to your ear. Neither of you let go for a while, taking each other in. For two people who had sex with each other about three times a week, this was the most intimate you had been. You could tell how serious it was by how quiet Wade was.

His breath was calm and steady, matching up almost perfectly to yours. Your head sat perfectly on the nook where his neck met his shoulders. But as soon as you begun to tighten your grip on him, he cleared his throat and let go. "I think I'm owed a good dick sucking for my good deeds," he awkwardly brought up. It took you a second to regain what was going on, after being so thrown off by Wade's sudden display of intimacy. "Oh...Oh! Oh you bet your ass," you recovered. Wade rubbed his hands together, almost like a corny cartoon villain as you lowered yourself down to his thick shaft.

You furiously tapped your fingers on your phone as you waited for a "ready to go" response from Wade. You added the final touches to your outfit. You spent a good chunk of your savings on your outfit for tonight, dead set on your revenge à la jealousy. The red velvet dressed you purchased hugged perfectly onto each of your curves and the string of thick pearls was cherry on top. You finally got the okay text from Wade, so you picked up your small clutched and jumped out of your apartment, knocking on Wade's door.

It was a sight you had never seen before. Wade W. Wilson was wearing a suit. A warm feeling flooded into your heart, seeing him make such an effort for the occasion. The tight fitted pants he was wearing brought a different type of warmth into your body. You noticed he was staring at you in a similar way, scanning the way the dress sculpted your frame. But the look on his face wasn't the normal lust filled eyes you had seen so many times before. It was different. Before you could decipher what exactly it was, Wade cut in. "How much did that dress cost?" You paused. "...You don't wanna know."

The taxi ride there was filled with repetitions of your master plan. Wade didn't seem to be paying much attention. It didn't matter though, as long as your head was in the game, this was sure to work.

You stepped out of the taxi and took in the view of the venue in front of you. You drew in a deep breath and found Wade standing next to you. "You ready party princess?" he asked, holding his arm out to wrap yours around. You smiled up at him and lock yours in. "Ready as I'll ever be playboy."

Most of the party was filled with shallow conversations with employers, bad music, and drinking. Lots of drinking. And then you saw him. You almost sprayed your cocktail out of your mouth at the sight. Your first instinct was to start smacking Wade's shoulder. "Jesus christ woman what is it?!?!" Wade shouted. You made a pointing gesture with your eyes towards Raoul. Wade follows your eyes. "Damn, I can see what kept you locked in for so long." "It sounds like you're begging for a trip to the hospital right now," you threatened. "Sorry, he just has a beautiful ass," Wade continued to tease. "Shame he's only into broke ass girls. Like you." "Can you stop being an asshole for once and focus!"

Wade rolled his eyes, put down his drink and pulled you out onto the dance floor. "What are you doing?" you confusedly whispered. "Going along with the plan," he said, not making eye contact with you. He put one of his hands on your hip and the other locked with yours. It surprised you how good of a dancer he turned out to be. He was light on his feet, swaying along to the rhythm of the music.

You naturally fell into his movements. You took moments of your dance with Wade to look over in Raoul's direction. He seemed fairly preoccupied with Clarissa, understandably. Your frustration laid clear on your face. Wade must have noticed, because next thing you know, he's twirling you and sends you into a dip. His face lit up at the sight of your sudden smile.

You look to your right and see exactly what you wanted. Raoul staring dead set on you on the dance floor. In an ditzy stupor you turn your face back to Wade. "I need you to kiss me." "What?" "Wade please just this once I swear, he's looking at us right now." He took a second to think, rolled his eyes, and placed a peck on your lips.

It didn't feel how you expected it to. He was rough, and mean with it. He brought you back up from the dip, roughly grabbed your wrist and dragged you back to the table with your drinks. You took a second to regain your footing. Wade downed the rest of his drink in one gulp. He looked shaken, upset even. "Are you okay?" you asked. Before he had the chance to respond, you noticed his eyes dart behind you. With record timing, you felt a tap on your shoulder and spin around.

Oh my god.

"I had a feeling that was you out on the dance floor," he said, in that smug tone he always used to use. You sighed to yourself. "Hi Raoul, it's been a minute." Catching you off guard, he pulls you in to a one armed hug, and lets go before you're able to reciprocate it. "Wait you know each other?" Clarissa asked, locked in on his arm.

Raoul starts first. "Um, yeah we were-" "We hung out at frat parties back in college," you cut in. It technically wasn't a lie. You just would rather spare yourself the embarrassment from her. Raoul didn't correct you, just a simple nod. "Aw, that's so cute!" Clarissa said. "Raoul's got so many friends I can hardly keep up at this point." Clarissa's high pitched giggle rang through your ears and you tried to keep a smile plastered on your face. "Oh I'm sure," you quietly added, getting a stink eye from Raoul in the meantime. God, you wish you didn't finish your drink earlier.

Raoul's eyes moved behind you. "I'm sorry, I didn't manage to get your name," he gestured to Wade. "Oh, that's Wade, he's my-" "Partner," he cut you off, moving up next to you and taking your hand. You squeezed it tightly, as a silent thank you. "Oh my god, congratulations!" Clarissa said. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend." "Yeah, we decided to wait until six months to go around posting about it and stuff," you added. "We would've waited longer, but I was too excited to keep it to myself any longer, isn't that right my love," Clarissa said, gently patting Raoul's jawline. "That's right my darling."

Just before taking Clarissa for a long, wet, uncomfortable kiss, you could feel a split second moment of eye contact between you and Raoul. Chills overtook your body. He was so...

Cold.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to excuse myself for a moment. It was great seeing you Clarissa," you quickly spat out before rushing away from the scene. You could hear who you hoped was Wade's footsteps leading close behind you. He called out your name for attention while you ran down the stairs, into the lobby, and out the door. "What the fuck was that? You just don't talk to me?" Wade questioned as you looked out onto the sidewalk for a taxi. "Not now Wade," you pushed him off. You could barely focus. Your mind was running a mile a minute, your heart pounding like a freight train. Who knew all it took to send you back months of healing was one look.

"This was a bad idea," you said to yourself. "Anyone could've told you that," you heard Wade say under his breath. Not in control of your actions, your hand quickly reacted, whipping itself across his cheek. It left a bright red mark on his face as Wade quickly went to hold it. "That is the last fucking thing I need right now, Wilson."

You sound like your father. You sound like his too.

The two of you stood on the sidewalk in the falling snow for a good five minutes of silence while waiting. A "Sorry," managed to come out of your mouth. Both of you were mad. Saying and doing things you didn't mean. Both hurting in your own ways. You hated the way Raoul could control your emotions. Always could. Like you were in the palm of his hand. Seeing yourself in that position again brought a wave of anger like nothing else.

"Let's just wait for the taxi," Wade said. You didn't look back to see his face, but you could feel his energy radiating in the snow. You fucked up. Big time. You were too angry to fix it right now though. This was a problem to solve in the morning. All you wanted right now was to curl up in your bed and sob for the next five hours.

Wade finally waved down a taxi for the two of you, opened the door to let you in first, and crawled in behind you. The tension in the car was so thick you were sure the driver could feel it too. It felt like you were in that car for hours until the two of you got out. As the car drove away and Wade looked for his keys to open the lobby door, all your thoughts began to flood out. "I can't believe he would wave her around in front of me like that!" You could feel the eye roll Wade was having right now, but didn't care enough to stop. He held the door open for you, as you continued talking into the elevator up. "And what was that kiss about?! Talk about show off. And gross also, their saliva almost flew into my eye." Wade stayed silent throughout your whole rant.

Still talking out the elevator and down the hallway. You were so caught up in your thoughts, you didn't even realize you were following Wade up to his door as he unlocked it. "And not to be a bitch, but how can Clarissa grow to stand him? Their personalities do not fit at all." Wade opened the door, and instinctively moved out of the way as he found you pushing yourself into his apartment as you continued talking.

He sighed to himself, closed and locked the door, threw his keys on the kitchen counter and stood by the door as you talked. "You know what? He went there to hurt me. He had to know Clarissa and I worked together, so he had to know I would be at that party! Why else would he go?!" Wade threw his head back, groaned, and began to walk up to you, shielded from your attention by the tangent you were on. "You know what, next work function he goes to, him gonna walk right up to him and tell him how much of an asshole he really is-."

The very last syllable of your sentence was picked up into Wade's mouth as his lips laced their way into yours.

You stood there wide eyed as Wade's lips rested on your mouth. He let go and opened his mouth for a moment as he lowered his eyes down to yours. "You talk too much. And you know it's bad when I'm the one saying that." You didn't have the room in your brain to respond. The only thing you could focus on was getting his mouth back onto yours. You grabbed the back of his head and smushed his face into yours, his own hands wrapping around your waist and hugging you into him.

This kiss was much different from your first one. This one was also rough, but surprisingly tender, like Wade had been waiting for this moment for ever. His lips maneuvered around your mouth the same way they did to your pussy, with a certain care and art. You were the first one to let your tongue slip, making its way into Wade's mouth. He treated it lightly, and with a gentle nature.

While you were distracted by the kiss, Wade hoisted you up to wrap your legs around his hips, and walked you to his bed. He let go of your mouth to dramatically plop you down on the mattress. "Before anything happens, I have got to get you out of that dress," Wade said, lowly and seductively. It was almost like magic, the way Wade's words could soak your underwear the minute they enter the air.

You unzipped your dress with haste, and tightly squeezed it off your body, tossing it to Wade's floor like it wasn't the most expensive piece of clothing you owned. To match you, Wade also stripped off his clothes, leaving both of you completely naked, except for undergarments, on his bed. Wade lowered himself on top of you, lacing his lips back into yours. Your hands explored his back, one of them taking a particular liking to one of his asscheeks, gripping and fondling it. Wade let out sounds of pleasure into your mouth as you played with him.

After a solid time of just making out, you separated your mouth from his. "What's wrong," Wade asked, a kind concern in his voice. You took a minute to gather your thoughts as you stared at Wade's cock, throbbing and bulging through his underwear. "Wade, I want you inside me."

Wade's breath hitched and you could see his cheeks grow red at your comment. "Are you sure?" It was crazy how much of his confidence and swagger he could lose because of your words. A symptom of something deeper inside his heart. You nodded gently. "I've never been so sure about anything until right fucking now," you whispered to him. Wade couldn't help but smile like a kid on Christmas morning. He laced his lips back into yours as his hands moved up your back and unclipped your bra like second nature. You used your hands to help him take off his boxers. The way his shaft sprung out made you gasp in delight.

Wade peppered kisses over your jaw, neck, and chest as he made his way down your body with his mouth. He took special time and care with your tits as he suckled on your nipple with that special tongue of his.

Wade was very dead set on his "no kissing" rule in the past, saving it only for when he would eat you out. Nothing above your hips or below your inner thigh. So, here and now, with his gentle kisses being pressed into your stomach, you couldn't help but giggle happily, your fingers scratching lovingly at the nape of his neck. You were so happy. Happier than when you two would mindlessly hook up. Happier than when you were with Raoul. Happier than when the stars would shine down on you from above. If you could pause time, you would stay in this moment forever. Tender. Pure. Happy,

The kisses made their way down your stomach, traced out your pelvic bone, and finally made it to the border of your panties. Wade's doe brown eyes looked up and made dead eye contact with you as his teeth latched onto your underwear lace. Your pussy throbbed with delight as you watched him pull down your underwear with his mouth expertly. He was most definitely not a novice at this. Once your underwear was finally off, Wade sat up on his knees, looking over your temple of a body.

In the time you two spent together, sure you did a lot of stuff together, but there were heavy boundaries in place. One being, neither of you had seen the other fully naked before. At least one piece of undergarment or clothing was kept on at all times, be it a shirt, boxer short, or skirt. Both of you wanted to get a certain level of privacy. But now, here you both were. Completely exposed for the other to soak in.

"You're so beautiful." His face was so full of admiration. No flirty tone. No pet name to level the meaning. He was absolutely serious. "You're so beautiful," you echo back to him, with the same amount of seriousness. Before he was going to do anything else, he lowered his entire body weight down onto you, skin to skin, and wrapped every inch of himself around you.. "What're you doing Wade?" you asked, gently scratching his bare back with your nails, feeling his skin rise and fall at your touch. "Cherishing you." You had no choice but to kiss him after that comment, a gentle peck from you landing on his lips. "I'm ready," you urged. Wade nodded. "I got you, princess."

Wade used his saliva to wet up your entrance, though not much was needed to help that situation. He used the rest of it to lather up his cock. Taking it in his hand, he gave you a kiss deep into your cheek, and pushed it inside.

Both of you moaned in a loud ecstasy as his thick shaft made its way into your leaking, tight cunt. Then, Wade began thrusting himself into you, as you grabbed onto his shoulders for support. His hands squeezed and manhandled both your tits as his hips rocked waves into you. It was exactly like dancing with him before. He had a certain rhythm to him, like he was a professional. It sounded cheesy as you thought it in your head, but it was true.

"Your pussy's so good for me," he whispered into your ear. "Like it was made for me or something." Your moans filled his ears, only encouraging him to go faster and harder with his thrusts. His dick filled up every crevice of your pussy, his tip pushing just right into your g-spot. One of his hand moves away from your tit and down to grope your asscheek. Your moans grow louder and your grip on his shoulder tightens. "You like it when I manhandle you, huh princess?" he teases. His mouth attaches itself to your neck as he sucks dark bruises into it. "Go harder Wade," you gasp. "As you wish," he cheekily remarks.

You can feel your body growing hotter as his dick throbs inside your tight cunt. The bed rocks and shakes with your movements. You wonder for a split second if any of your neighbors can hear you. The thought loses its momentum when you remember how much worse you've heard come out of this apartment room.

After a solid bit of going at it, you can feel your climax start to hit. Your breath goes shaky, your grip on him gets tighter, and your moans and gasps become more scattered and desperate. "I know sweetheart, I know, don't worry," Wade lowly whispers into your ear, giving your lobe a quick nibble after he's done. You begin to rock your hips as well, clashing into his, desperate to chase the high coming rushing towards you.

The high is magnificent, better than you had ever experienced with him. Your legs and body shake as your body comes around his dick, the orgasm ripping its way through your vocal cords. Wade slips his shaft out of you once your moans stop and finishes on his own on the edge of the bed.

You stay sitting in bed silent for some time, soaking in the full experience. Wade turns back to you and leans down to your pussy, soaking and slurping up your juices. Your body shivers under his gentle tongue. He does a reverse of before, kissing his way up your hips, to your stomach, to your neck, and finding its home on your lips. You wrap your arms around him as he kisses you, wiggling his way with you under the covers of his bed.

"So...how do you feel?" He asked, kissing your cheek. "Fucking great," you giggled. "Well duh, that was the obvious answer," he snarked, pressing quick kissing into every inch of your face, getting sweet laughs out of you. "You've suddenly turned into quite the kisser." "I think I was just waiting for the right moment," he said gently, scanning your face and finding a comfortable sitting in your eyes. "I'm glad you finally found it," you whispered to him. He smiled drowsily. "Me too." Wade nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, planting soft kisses there. You closed your eyes as you took in his touch. You could feel yourself slipping out of consciousness, making a quick note to yourself to remember this moment forever. Cherishing Wade while you did so.

[mikuni14]

Our Youth - Ep 5

I love it when Japan makes this twist in the middle of the series and changes POV, showing the previous story from the perspective of another person, blowing viewers minds in the process. I LOVE IT. Utsukushii Kare did that, for example, but also many others. I also like it when the series is conducted with alternating POV from the beginning.

Watching Hirukawa breaks my heart. His POV was necessary, because so far he has been shown as such a brave, courageous, strong in his beliefs young man. But he is still just a kid in a situation that would overwhelm anyone. It's very good that his dark thoughts, his aggression boiling somewhere deep inside, were shown. I appreciate it, that domestic violence is not shown in this series as something that exists just somewhere in the back, as an aspect of ML's life that makes him "interesting and mysterious", so that he can be "nobly saved", as part of a romance. Meisenen clearly shows that violence always leaves traces and changes a person and this affects Hirukawa more than he thinks - because I get the impression that he thinks he has it all under control, he can even use it to get Minase back.

Another form of violence, invisible and in white gloves, is abandonment. And I also mean Hirukawa's mother. This whole situation made me frown from the beginning, but now I'm just disgusted with the "kind okasan". This 'inviting your own son home only when a new husband is absent' shit??? I'm sorry what??? The fact that she "doesn't know" about her son's situation is also far-fetched, somehow I doubt that her ex-husband started drinking and became violent on the day of the divorce. After all, she got divorced for a some reason, right? I won't even comment on leaving her child after the divorce to start building a new nest with a new guy and a new child. And how can she still believe that her son is covered in injuries from fights??? These aren't injuries from fighting with his peers, this is what a seriously beaten body looks like! So idk, is she dumb or is she pretending, because the situation right now is covenient for her?

I'm starting to wonder if Hirukawa telling himself that by allowing himself to be beaten he's protecting his mother isn't some desperate attempt to drown out the awareness that he was abandoned by his own mother.

How people have always been able to justify the violence that is done to them at home, this creation of incredibly complicated, multi-layered explanations and excuses for why they endure is so very, very sad.

Minase's parents are a separate story. From the outside, everything is beautiful, the boy has food, a nice house, no one even yells at him. But.. they don't talk to each other at all, like really talk, their phone conversations grow into big events, Minase calling his own dad is such a big deal. I understand parents busy with their careers, but why doesn't anyone call him every day to ask how his day was, if everything is okay, I mean he's still a kid! Minase's father didn't even find a moment for him to confirm that he noticed him at the event, to tell him that he was glad he was there? He invites his own child, his only child, to an important event for him and he doesn't care at all whether the child even got there. Like, it's your own event, you can ask the others to wait 5 minutes, it's not like they'll start anything without you! But for that, you would have to start prioritizing your child over other people and yourself, right?

It's unbelievable how abandoned Hirukawa and Minase are, left to their own devices, how they have to deal with their own reality and the reality of the adults in their lives, who should be managing their own shit and supporting their children. It's really no wonder that they found each other and are drawn to each other. No one has given them both even a semblance of a sense of security, they are so disconnected from what's going on around them, they have created so many defense mechanisms that it's a miracle that they can create this wonderful relationship together at all.

I'm moved by how Hirukawa still chooses kindness, honesty, how he is terrified by the darkness that lurks within him and demands an outlet from time to time. Likewise, that in all this bullshit reality created by the adults, they both try to communicate, slowly accept their relationship, lean on each other, try to create a normal relationship with taking selfies, writing normal, cute messages to each other. It's all very baeutiful and moving. I adore them so much and I'm so worried about them..

[morphids]

Enmies to lovers hange zoe

Pls🤗🤗

the worst neighbour, hange zoë

i love enemies to lovers, it’s probably my fave trope of all time—ty anon <3

nonbinary, they/them hange.

summary: hange moves in next door and ruins your peace, until a storm forces you together.

warnings: not many so idk storms?? very sfw—a bit silly and fluffy really, minus some suggestive themes throughout, and a heavy makeout sesh at the end. poc friendly!! weed smoking- stoner!hange. r has autism but its not an integral part of the story. hange is also a lil mentally unwell.

wc: 5.7k of pure yap, enjoy.

—

When you first moved into your own place, away from the helicopters that are your stringent and unpleasant parents, you were so relieved that you could've levitated. Thinking you'd finally have a safe haven of your own. To decorate, eat, dress and generally live life on your own terms. Bills be damned! It was that - for maybe a few weeks? Until you spotted the 'For Sale' sign on the lawn of the semi-detached connected to your own. When exactly did that get put up?

Internally groaning, you already were catastrophizing— what if it's a family with five kids and two twin newborns? What if they're a crazy dog person and the dogs bark every hour and set each other off? What if it's a group of college kids who party every night?

So imagine your relief when you see a single van pull up, and only one, very tall individual lifting boxes into the building attached to yours. Quite an attractive person, at that. Hair messily pulled back, glasses framing their face, clad in a tank top underneath an oversized blazer and some loose pants. You had been stalking observing the new arrival through the gaps in your blinds. Praying that your silhouette wasn't spotted from the outside. I mean, look.. we all have to be wary of our surroundings, right? Lest there be a creep move in next door and you're none the wiser.

A few hours later, the big van outside had already left its spot on the side. There was a knock at your front door, revealing the very hot neighbour on the other side, holding a plate of some homemade stew.

You made your introductions, Hange was incredibly friendly, you couldn't deny, a wide smile stretched on their lips as they almost pushed the stew into your hands, saying, "I read that this is a good way to greet new neighbours!" It was a short, courteous greeting. You both returned to your homes soon after. You wanted to kiss the stars that you got so lucky with a pleasant hot neighbour. The stew ended up being delicious, by the way, saving you the effort of cooking your own dinner for the night.

That relief very quickly dissipated once you realised just how loud Hange was. It drove you insane. If you were maybe four years younger, you probably wouldn't have minded so much, but as a working adult with a regular 9-5, you found yourself seething at how incredibly absurd it was. You had no idea what Hange did, mind you, and you cursed the architect's firstborn for connecting your bedroom wall to Hange's. It was as if you lived next door to a busy night cafe, the buzzing whir of what you'd assumed was a stupidly designed, industrial-sized coffee machine. Grounding coffee beans together, followed by bangs of metal against the counter as they'd dumped the old ones into the trash. The walls were so unbelievably thin you could almost feel their exact movements. Every night. At three in the damn morning. Who drinks coffee that late?

The whirring seemed to vibrate through the entire structure of the house, reverberating through the walls as you laid your head against your pillow. You had taken to banging against the wall as revenge once, not so nicely letting them know they were keeping you up. Crashing out by yourself in the solitude of your bedroom. If there had been cameras installed you would've looked so unhinged and probably been sectioned to a ward to live out the rest of your days. A part of you was so aggravated that being sectioned felt like it would be a gentle kindness. You tried getting ear plugs—didn't help. The noise-cancelling headphones that you used when you were experiencing sensory overload? Nope, didn't help, it was like it was in between the walls vibrating your floor, even if you couldn't hear most of it, you still felt it.

After a few nights of not so passive-aggressive banging against the wall, Hange seemed to get the hint. Well, that and perhaps also the way you glared at them when you made your way back into your house after your shift. You weren't the greatest at verbal confrontation, you'd probably rather die than actually go and confront them in person. So, the nastiest glare you could muster was enough. Hange had been mowing their lawn, white tank top tight against their well-sculpted torso as their built arms glided the lawnmower over the grass. Lifting their hand up to wave at you as you ignored their advance for a conversation, scoffing as you quickly entered your house. At least they weren't cutting grass at night, too.

Not to mention the smell of weed that travelled through the walls, almost thickening the air with a haze. Look, you didn't care what people did in their spare time, wasn't like you were gonna call the cops over a joint but... Hange had already pissed you off so much, to the point where this was just a rotting cherry on top of your least favourite cake. It clung to your clothes, for god's sake! You wouldn't have even noticed if it wasn't for one of your coworkers cheerily asking you if you were holding any because they hadn't smoked in a while, creating a very awkward, "I.. don't smoke?" on your part and an even more awkward realisation from your shocked co-worker. Embarrassed that they had accidentally outed themselves to someone who could potentially report them to the bosses. You would never, but they didn't know that.

That night, you got home and washed all your laundry, deciding to keep them in a different room where the smoke remnants didn't reach, not wanting to go through a similar situation with someone else another time.

Did I mention that they were apparently a guitar player, too? It's just hit after hit. Strumming strings late into the night and you wondered how someone could have so much nocturnal energy. They weren't unskilled, in all honesty, they were just incredibly annoying.

Fortunately, the coffee machine incidents had ceased. The relief returned as you settled yourself for the first good night's sleep in three weeks, finally feeling well-rested the next morning as you got ready for work. You should've known it wouldn't last long, though. How naive of you to think your neighbour would become reasonable overnight. This time, at around midnight, you heard drilling and the subsequent falling of wood against the floor. Perhaps Hange was doing it out of spite, unpleased with your glares every afternoon. You hadn't exactly been the nicest, but it wasn't like it was unjustified. This had been building up for almost a whole month, you had grown sleep-deprived and irritable, disgustingly moody.

Huffing to yourself, you lifted your body up off the seducing comfort of your bed. Throwing on a jumper that had been left discarded on the chair, and some slides. Mentally amping yourself for what you were about to do, trying to script how you were going to politely yell at them and burst all your inner feelings about their inconsideration.

You rapped a fist at their front door, noticing how the lights were on in each room through the window. There was silence at first, then you spotted the silhouette coming closer to the door. Revealing Hange, with a dark green woollen cardigan hanging off their slender shoulders, grey sweatpants that didn't quite cover their toned midriff. Hange puffed on a joint, leaning their weight against the doorframe.

"Wha-"

“I swear to god, if you make more noise at night, ‘m gonna set your house on fire.”

Well, you hadn't quite scripted that particular sentence. Apparently, arson had been on your mind! Great, now you look insane and actively threatened your neighbour!

Hange's eyes widened, shock falling over their features as their mouth opened and closed.

"But...wouldn't that burn yours, too?" They half joked, half didn't. At your lack of response, and clearly unimpressed face, Hange sighed, continuing.

"Alright, I'm sorry, but you don't need to be such a bitch about it," They brought the joint to their plump lips again, trapped between their ringed thumb and index finger, huffing on it before blowing it out, directly in your face. You would've kept staring at Hange's nice hands as they gracefully held the joint, if you hadn't just been disrespected by the amount of smoke that invaded your nose, and been called a bitch added on top of that. You were stunned into silence  for a solid moment before your anger reignited, scoffing at their audacity.

"Are you serious?"

"It's not been that bad..."

"Again—are you serious?!"

Hange didn't answer, looking at you blankly, which doubly pissed you off even more.

"You've kept me awake for the past month! Are you aware that people need sleep or d'you just not care?"

Hange ignored the pangs of guilt, although not really wanting to explain their inner workings to a pretty stranger. Initially, Hange thought there'd be a good friendship built upon that first meeting, it'd been cordial— thinking you were a cute, inviting person, even thought they lucked out with a pretty neighbour right next door. Unfortunately, Hange quickly realised you both definitely weren't on the same page as they felt the wrath of your glares every afternoon. Maybe they were more oblivious than they thought.

Hange didn't truly realise the walls were so thin and you heard everything, honestly they thought your banging on the wall had been… something else entirely. In hindsight, they now felt a bit silly with the realisation that it was a painfully obvious noise complaint—but it's not like they didn't have their reasons.

"Relax, man," Hange sighed, lifting themself off the doorframe and reached their arm out to offer you some joint, "You need some of this,"

Unbelievable, you gaped. Honestly, if you had to sit on a court stand to explain what happened next, you'd say you blacked out. Before you could even stop yourself, you plucked the lit joint from their fingers and let it fall down on the floor, making sure to aim for the small pool of water collected on the pavement from the rainfall earlier that day. Situation was made worse by the small hiss as the water murdered the flame, effectively soaking and ruining the entire zoot. You would've felt bad, realising they must've only sparked it a short while ago, as there was a considerable amount left— but if this was your one crime against a plethora of theirs, then so be it.

"Was there any need—"

"You're a dick, you know that?"

"I'm a dick? That was a peace offering 'n you thre-"

"Fuck your peace offering, keeping it down is the best gift you could ever give me."

Hange’s brows tilted up in mild amusement, blended with a healthy amount of irritation. That was the remainder of their stash, the very last zoot that they had saved until all their tasks were done, and no dealer would be active this time of night.

Hange studied you for a moment, your arms crossed and viscerally annoyed— your lips curved to the side as you blew out a single strand of hair away from your face that kept falling into your eyes. Undoubtedly, adding to your frustration. Still cute, they thought, even though you did just absolutely desecrate their last zoot. Hange paralleled your body language, folding their own arms up to match yours.

Now, Hange definitely knew better than to say something like this, knew this had a 99% chance of making the situation worse. Yet, could they help it? Evidently not. Words slipping from their lips before they could withhold it.

"Yes, mama."

Silence.

At their words, Hange's amusement grew as the hardness in your face fell. You seemed to be going through all the different stages of grief. Trying to mask the evident flustering that overtook your features, caught off guard by the sudden switch up of energy that hung in the vacant space between you. Hange would've regretted it, would've expected you to curse them out even more— deserved it, even, had it not been for the softening of your voice and the confusion glazing over your eyes. They could've sworn there was something else lurking in there, something subtly dangerous.

"I-I, you—"

"Won't do it again, dear," Hange muttered, ceasing, "You have my word,"

Hange seemed to have a proclivity for stressing you out, it seems. A crooked smile etched on the corner of their lips as they watched you, deep, brown eyes boring into yours— almost challenging.

"Right—well, I'm...gonna go home now,"

"Alright, then."

Stepping down from their front porch, you let out the breath trapped in your ribs. You had been geared up for a confrontation, not that. What the hell even was that? Hange's voice broke out from within the silence again, in almost a mockery of friendly neighbourhood conduct.

“Always lovely seeing you,”

—

From that point, the noise had considerably decreased. You were thankful that at least something positive came from that conversation. Though, it didn't exactly simmer the annoyance lingering in your heart for Hange. You thought they were an incredibly inconsiderate asshole. Yes, they may have stopped the noise, but you couldn't simply forgive and forget the way they spoke to you. Arrogant and disrespectful. Not to mention the cocky way they ended the conversation, you hated that you had faltered at their words. Cursing yourself for your lack of a quick response and staring at them dumbly. The grudge had remained, no hatchet buried. Even if they did look like that.

You were currently all wrapped up in your fuzzy blanket, burrito style as you layered up on fabrics. The weather had been harsher than most this winter—we have the rich and wealthy to thank for shitting all over the planet and ruining the climate. Winds had been howling, trees shaking trying to stand firm against its force as you threw on the local news on your television.

You managed to catch the late part of an announcement.

"—severe weather warning, as dangerous winds from the storm expected to strike around the area. It is advised that people stay inside their homes, charge their devices and stock up on canned food. Single-person households are heavily advised to house together during this time, to account for any potential casualties—"

The television cut out with a soft click, as the lights and electricals in your house switched off simultaneously, leaving you in total darkness. If there was ever any way to freak someone out, this would definitely do it. You gaped through your window at the heavily falling rain as it splattered against the glass. Shit.

Sighing, you blindly made your way to the drawers in your kitchen. You were a bit of a candle enthusiast, so at least you had some way of illumination. Lighting the wick with some matches, you filled the darkness with a candle in each corner. It was a bit of a haunting vibe, but you could manage for the night. What was worrying you more, was the way your phone was almost out of charge. You thought of a lot of things for times like these, yet a portable charger always seemed to evade you. It was one of those, i'll buy one next time, except next time never came.

Your thoughts went to Hange, you were both considered single-person households. Perhaps, it would be safer to band together. Maybe they have a portable on hand. Battling yourself, you considered the consequences of making your way over to Hange's, asking if they had any charge to spare. Would that be embarrassing? Technically, it's for safety, humans have an evolutionary tendency to stay together in times of crisis— it's the smart thing to do. Yet, you couldn't bite back the pain of succumbing first, they might use it against you. You made your peace with the fact that if life was a survival of the fittest, you likely wouldn't make it very far.

A decision seemed to be conveniently made for you, though, as a quick repetition of knocks blasted on your door. More eagerly than you'd like to admit, you stood and answered.

Hange was stood shivering, totally drenched in the five seconds that it took to travel from their door to yours, the rain had clearly won the fight. Glasses splashed with raindrops. Their slackened hair was sticking on their forehead and cheeks, no doubt lost the fight against the wind, too.

"You can say no, but can I borrow a blanket? Turns out houses get cold with no central heating,"

You bit back a chuckle, they were just now realising that?

Hange was stood pathetically at your door, the contrast of their drenched figure against your completely dry one, was almost funny. The expression plastered over their face wasn't, though, dark eyes held a seriousness you hadn't seen in them before. Almost fearful.

"I have a few you can take."

"Thank you,"

Hange took the cue to enter your space, feeling a sense of safety with the candles brightening up the room. Grabbing some from a pile on the arm of your couch, you handed them over. Hange gratefully taking them from your grasp as they made excruciatingly slow steps towards the door. They didn't want to go back into a dark house, embarrassingly unprepared for a situation like this, they hadn't anticipated buying some candles— heck, not even one blanket.

Noticing how slowly they were walking, you spoke,

"You could dry yourself off here? Maybe get warm again before you leave?"

A look of hope flashed across Hange's eyes, as you continued, trying to blurt the invitation out into the air as quickly as you could.

"The government says that.. single occupant households should stay together—so it's the smarter choice, anyway, really."

"Well.. if the government says so, right?"

"Right! Who are we to disagree..." You say this like you ever believed the government. No one needs to know the truth, definitely not Hange. It's not that you particularly fearful of storms, but the announcement had spooked you.

There was something intuitively nipping at your gut, that there was more to Hange coming over in such a panic for just a blanket. You didn't press it.

Snuggling into the plush fabric of your couch, right in the comfortable corner, you motioned your head to indicate that Hange could also take a seat. Seeing the awkward, stiff way they were stood against the wall in your living room, even made you feel uncomfortable.

Thunder cracked in the atmosphere, booming outside as the sky lit up briefly. You didn't miss the way Hange's shoulders jerked up before they hurriedly made their way to sit down, placing a fair distance between your bodies. As one would with someone they had an altercation with only a few weeks before.

"You alright?" You couldn't help but ask, feeling like an energy absorbing rock with how obviously uncomfortable Hange was. They grabbed the pillow they had sat on and nuzzled it between their legs, wrapping their arms around the soft fabric, fiddling their fingers around the cotton tag.

"Yup.."

Heavy silence filled the air amidst the thunder and rain, the wind filling the gaps in between.

Droplets of water dripped from Hange's loose strands of hair, splashing on the pillow, leaving wet blobs seeping into the dry.

"I'll get you some dry clothes,"

"You don't have t—"

"No arguing, I'm not letting someone get hypothermia in my house."

Hange nodded, their attention back to the tag in their hands.

You quickly came back from your room with a change of clothes. Hange being slightly taller than you, you weren't sure what was best for them, or what they'd feel comfortable in. Opting for a long pair of loose shorts you usually wore for working out, and an oversized tee with a faded Hello Kitty print in the middle.

"Here, I'll leave you to get changed."

"Wait!" There was that panic again, "Could you, uh, maybe, stay? You can just turn around or something.." Their voice lowering into a whisper as they muttered the last part.

Slightly odd, you thought, but you silently nodded and turned yourself around to give Hange some privacy. Only facing them again once they gave you a 'Okay, I'm done,"

"They alright for you?"

"Yeah—thank you, they're perfect,"

Nodding again, you placed yourself back on the couch, where Hange was already comfortably placed, legs crossed with a blanket thrown over. They looked pretty cute with your Hello Kitty shirt on, cozied in your living room, perhaps it was the warm flickers of candlelight on their skin.

The air was a little awkward, neither of you quite knowing how to interact with each other. Hange was antsy, shaking their leg beside you, causing the couch to slightly rock with their movements. They seemed to catch themself doing it and ceased the movements, glancing up at you to check if they had annoyed you with the rocking. They hadn’t.

"You've been really kind to me," they muttered, "Thanks,"

"Crazy what a good night's sleep does to someone's psyche," You joked, trying to lighten the mood, hoping it came across the way you intended.

Hange cringed at your words, face twisting, "I am sorry about that, I really didn't think the walls were that thin,"

You chuckled, looking down and plucking the balls of fluff that wear and tear does to a blanket, "It's alright, I appreciate that you stopped."

"Just a little confused why you came here, though, when you dislike me so much," Thinking about the way they called you a bitch, at the ease with which it escaped their tongue, perhaps you were acting like one and it was deserved, but you couldn't deny that it struck a nerve. Hange gulped, looking down at the wooden flooring, raising a hand to scratch at the nape of their neck.

"I don't dislike you," They answered,

"You called me a bitch." You stated, straight-forwardly, wanting to clear the air and actually communicate like an adult should, instead of running from confrontation like you usually do.

"I did, and I'm sorry for that, too." Hange didn't meet your eyes, sighing, "You were right about the noise, calling you that was uncalled for."

"Thank you," You let out a breath, a weight lifting from your shoulders, "I'm sorry about your throwing your zoot in the water,"

Hange laughed, rubbing their face at the memory, "I get it, I'd probably have done the same, so, y'know."

"So we good?"

"Yeah," Hange chuckled, "We're good."

Hange reached into the wet pocket of their damp jacket, left in a pile on the floor, feeling around for something.

"It might be too soon—I don't wanna ruin your hospitality and you can say no, but can I light up? I-it helps me calm down,"

You did consider saying no, perhaps in any other circumstance you probably would've. If Hange hadn't been so visibly on edge, their shaking leg and twitching shoulders with each crack of thunder, you would've said no. Yet, with the meekness in their voice and bashful look in their eyes, you couldn't find it in yourself to.

"Yeah, go ahead," You weren't sure what to make of the feeling in your stomach when Hange's eyes glimmered up at you at your response, "I don't have an ashtray, but I'll get you an old cup,"

Hange eagerly thanked you and pulled out a small tin from their pocket. Pulling out paper and some card to roll the contents ground inside of a grinder.

Sitting back down, placing the cup on the coffee table, you watched as they rolled the bud into the paper, folding it neatly into a tight cone with nimble, lean fingers. You couldn't look away as they brought the sticky part to their mouth, tongue poking out to lick at the residue to glue the paper down. You glanced away quickly as Hange caught your gaze, breaking eye contact as a wave of shame hitting you like you'd been caught doing something bad.

Clearing your throat, you took a look at your phone, checking the time, 9:08p.m with only 3% left on the battery. Great, you dropped it back into the couch, looks like you won't get much use out of that tonight. At least you were off work the following day, the weather deemed so bad that forms of transport were stopped, halting most workplaces.

Hange hesitantly brought the lighter up to meet the tip of the joint tucked between their lips, looking up at you as if to check if you had suddenly changed your mind before they sparked it. That's kinda sweet, you thought, that even with your permission, they still double checked.

Feeling satisfied that you didn't change your mind, Hange lit the joint, inhaling a few drags before releasing it out into your room. The thick smoke whirling in the air. They rested their head against the back of the couch. Allowing you to gaze upon their neck and the small exposed part of their collarbone poking out underneath the shirt collar.

Hange seemed to feel your eyes on them, tilting their head slightly to meet your gaze again with a curious expression.

"You wanna try?" Thinking that's why you had been staring.

"Uhm— I've never done it before," You rasped, truthfully you've never been against it, but living with your hard-ass parents, you'd had a pretty straight edge life, doing things most teenagers do whilst they grow their own— drinking with your friends in a park, clubbing when you were of age. The opportunity for a smoke hadn't ever come up, so you just didn't really think about it.

"No pressure, but the offer's there if you want,"

You nodded, mulling over it. Maybe you'd like to try, after all. It probably felt nicer than being drunk and messy.

"Maybe a little?"

"You sure?" Hange hummed, the zoot clearly taking effect, they were more relaxed, less jittery.

"Yeah, just don't laugh at me if I cough,"

"Oh, you definitely will cough," Hange chuckled, "But that happens to everyone, so, 's alright."

Hange passed the joint over to you, carefully placing it between your fingers so it doesn't get dropped on the couch, and ruin your blankets.

You looked at it for a minute, bringing it closer to your mouth, "Do I just breathe it normally?"

"Pretty much, just make sure you hold it in your lungs for a sec,"

So you did, pulling air through the roach as the weight of smoke hit the back of your throat. You tried to follow their instructions, holding it in for a few seconds before you couldn't anymore, letting out the smoke into the room with a few coughs. Hange muttered a gentle, there you go, saying that's how you know you did it right, before passing you some water.

"Ouch," You grumbled, feeling a hot wave in your chest and a slight burn at your throat, "It tastes like ass,"

Hange laughed, wholeheartedly amused at your baby lungs, "It does."

It didn't deter you enough, though, taking another drag and managing to hold it without coughing this time. You saw a proud look on Hange's face, that's it, they said, you blamed the weed for making your stomach twist at their praising words.

After a few hits, you began feeling lighter, joining Hange with your head rested on the couch. Hange looked at you, the white of your eyes bloodshot as they glimmered with the candlelight. You looked pretty, eyelashes curled upwards, casting shadows on the lids as you blinked up at them.

"You never answered my question," You hummed, fiddling with the blanket, rolling it into shapes. Hange took off their glasses, the weight of them becoming uncomfortable so they placed them on the coffee table.

"What question?"

"Why you came here, you were...scared." Your question was tentative, not wanting to ruin the amiable mood.

Hange took a second to answer, choosing to puff on the remaining amount of joint instead of answering straight away, plugging it against the ceramic cup to make sure it was dead.

"I'm—uh," a pause, "imscaredofthedark." They mumbled, timid voice coming out like they were speaking underwater. So barely audible, you couldn't hear a damn thing.

"Huh?"

"I'm... scared of the dark, okay? Storms, too, i-it freaks me out." Hange shyly huffed, crossing their arms over their torso, avoiding eye contact like the plague. Even in the minimal lighting, you could see the embarrassment tainting their cheeks.

"Oh."

There was a taut awkwardness that hung in the air at their admission, and you found yourself feeling slightly bad for them. Unsure of what to say back, not wanting to make them feel worse.

"Look—'s not a big deal, okay? But.. the darkness and the howling winds, thunder—together, doesn't help..." Hange tried to save themselves, try to make it seem like they hadn't been close to quaking in the pitch black rooms of their house. Their electric bill each month was ludicrously high, lights in the hall or the bathroom staying on each hour of the night until the sun finally came out enough to shine through the windows each morning. Their bedroom always illuminated with lamps and decorative Christmas lights all year round. Hange and their parents thought they'd grow out of it as an adult. That didn't end up being the case.

"Okay," You breathed out, "Well, I've got a lot of candles." You pointed at the flickering wicks placed in each corner of the room. "So we're not totally in the dark, thankfully."

Another momentary pause, Hange hadn't responded, so you added, "It's not embarrassing, you know?"

"Yeah—thanks."

"Is that you're always up at night?" That had been bothering you for a while, surely it wasn't healthy for someone to stay up so late each night. You wondered how often they slept.

"A little," The muttered, covering their mouth with a loose part of the blanket, "I've had insomnia since I was a kid, and frequent night terrors, doesn't mix the best, I guess." They chuckled.

"So I try to keep myself busy at night with tasks, drink coffee, anything to stop from falling asleep and have another one. Most people grow out of it—I just…didn't."

You hummed, the admission making you feel bad for having such a one-sided problem with Hange the last couple of months. You wouldn't have been so angry if you had known there was more to it.

Placing your palm over the back of their hand, you squeezed, Hange looked at you, the blanket shield falling down to their chest as they lifted their head, revealing their face to you once again.

"I'm sorry, I wouldn't have been such a bitch if I knew,"

"'s okay, I didn't exactly tell you, so."

You smiled at them, and attempt to be reassuring and maybe even comforting, Hange's lips quipped up, and you looked at each other longer than usual. Hange flickered their gaze to your lips, then back up to your eyes. You felt yourself doing the same. Chest growing heavy as the air fell tender, yet apprehensive.   Hesitation outweighing want, as you realised how close you both were. Barely inches in between, lips almost meeting.

You wondered how a friendship with Hange would've developed had it not been for the mess in between. The attraction to them was undeniable, you were intrigued as soon as you set eyes on them the day they moved in.

"I really wanna kiss you," You muttered, a fleeting moment of boldness, glancing down to their lips again, they just looked so kissable. 

"What are you waiting for, then?" The corners of their lips breaking into a soft smirk, challenging you to do it first.

"Fuck," You bit the bullet, fingers threading the hair at the back of their head as you brought your heads closer, connecting your lips together. Hange sprung into action, grabbing the back of your neck closer and humming with satisfaction into the kiss.

Lips melded against each other, you sighed as you felt how soft they were. Soft and plump. Tugging at their hair, you gently nipped Hange's bottom lip, jutting it out slightly, swiping your tongue against the reddened skin. Taking the hint, Hange's mouth split open, allowing you access to enter. Hange groaned as warm tongues connected, breathing heavily at the sensation.

Pulling the blankets off—they didn't need the extra heat anymore—their hands then wrapped around the supple skin of your thighs, placing you into a straddle over their lap as they held your sides firmly. Fingers digging into your skin as you placed kisses below their ear to the bottom of their throat, their head tilted back. Hange shivered at the contact, skin raising into goosebumps as your lips touched, soft moans from their lips with their eyes shut.

Hange lifted their head, chasing your lips to meet once more, one hand placed tight at your hips, the other coming up to rub the back of your neck. Kissing Hange was delightful, you discovered, finding that you would do this forever if it was physically possible. Eventually, your lips disconnected, forehead resting against forehead as you both breathed heavily, catching breath.

Hange gazed up at you, eyes almost doe and full of mirth. Holding on to every ounce of restraint they carried in their veins, to stop themself from acting impulsively and taking you right there. You were in a similar way, but you pecked their lips again, before nuzzling your head into the crook of their neck. A silent agreement that you both should stop, perhaps do things the right way instead of acting on instinct. Sighing as Hange wrapped their strong arms around your waist, pressing a kiss into your shoulder.

You stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other's embrace until you found yourself slipping into a sleep, the weed had suddenly made you feel tired and sleep was the only way out. You mumbled a quiet, "Sorry.." before falling asleep on them. Hange chuckled as they realised they were trapped in place until you moved, but it didn't matter too much as the thought of sleep was growing more enticing.

After a few minutes, Hange fell asleep, too, arms still wrapped around you—the storm was still raging on, thunder still thundering, but it was the first night in years Hange slept without a nightmare.

—-

AHHHH anyway— hope u guys enjoyed <3

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 45!

what a week... i'm greatly enjoying all of the post-8x06 buddie fic (many more recs to come!) and took some time to revisit old favourites, which can be found in previous rec lists. enjoy!

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

all that we need | not1_2write | 26.4k | M

When Buck buys a Powerball lottery ticket he doesn't think much beyond his need for change to air up his tire. He forgets all about the ticket until word spreads that the winning ticket was sold in LA and hasn't been claimed yet and pretty much dismisses it. After all, there's no way he won the lottery. Turns out no, he really did win the Powerball, to the tune of 295 million dollars and just in time for Christmas. He's going to make sure the 118 has the best Christmas of their lives. And just maybe he'll have a good one too. idk about all of you but i do dream about winning the lottery regularly (way too often for someone who's never bought a ticket, that's for sure). this is such a lovely look at what buck would do with a whole lot of money <3

i take this magnetic force of a man | playinginthunderstorms/@playinginthunderstorms | 9k | M

Turns out, he isn’t actually afraid of commitment. He’s just afraid of committing to the wrong thing, or the wrong person. Ana, obviously, had been a mistake, because he hadn’t been ready, and he’d put other people’s expectations above his own wants and needs. With Marisol, he’s done the same thing. Moved too fast, doing what he thinks is the right thing according to who? His parents? For Chris’s benefit? Again, pushing past his own comfort, discarding any doubt because it doesn’t fit like… Like Buck. blanket rec for one of my favourite authors who has been posting incredible fics lately!! this one in particular is so beautifully written and so romantic and just so very buddie <3

if i need to rearrange my particules i will for you | thelikesofus/@thelikesofus | 7.9k | GA

Eddie catches a cold and Buck takes care of him while having a minor, non-platonic emotional crisis. this is definitely influenced by the fact that i've been ill myself but wow truly nothing hits as hard as buddie taking care of each other when one of them isn't feeling well. the bed sharing in this is so good <3

let me | facewithoutheart/@facewithoutheart | 1.6k | T

Eddie doesn't think he needs romance. Buck, respectfully, disagrees. AKA the fic where Buck picks Eddie up and kisses him breathless against a wall. and buck is so right for doing that!! i love it when buck turns eddie to jello <3 so lovely!

second child, restless child | lesbianrobin/@lesbianrobin | 23k and counting| M

how Evan and Maddie make it out of Pennsylvania, and Buck and Maddie build a family. okay so listen these past few weeks i've been doing this thing where i only rec finished fics, and every time i scroll through my ao3 history for these rec lists, i come across this one and go oh i wish i could rec this already. and then i realised wait it's my rec list i can do whatever i want, and so then i did. anyway, mind the tags for this one, but wow are you in for a treat here! i love the character dynamics (chim is brilliant in this!! and maddie!!) and i'm so so excited to see the rest of this fic unfold <3

said that i was fine, said it from my coffin | justhockey/tumblr | 7.3k | T

And it doesn’t matter that he feels like he’s dying. Like the version of himself that he’s always been is suddenly a stranger to him - just a mask he’d spent his entire life hiding behind, without ever even realising he was wearing it. It doesn’t matter that Eddie is…that he’s gay. Because he knows - as surely as he knows that the sun will rise again tomorrow - that the only person he has ever, and will ever, truly love is Buck. And Buck isn’t his to love. another blanket rec for an author who's been posting incredible fics!! this one in particular has such brilliant eddie characterisation and i just devoured it the second i got that little ao3 email hehe

there's no place like home-spun | icewhisper | 4.1k | GA

Buck has spent most of his life trying to find something to settle fidgeting hands and the restless need for a home. He found the key to the latter when he was thirteen. He finds the former in a cozy home on South Bedford Street with two of his favorite people. (AKA the Buck-crochets fic that literally no one asked for.). this fic makes me want to learn how to crochet. i am the least crafty person ever and i have like minus time but just know that if two weeks from now i'm posting about yarn and crochet hooks and whatnot, it's all thanks to this fic. i love buck who crochets so very much <3

you get your dreams for free | llovely/@butchdiaz| 14.9k | T

five times buck and eddie cuddle drunk and one time they cuddle sober. buddie bed sharing my absolute favourite. i read this late at night curled up under three blankets and it hit just right <3

[freakenomenon]

OKAY. I FINALLY HAVE ANOTHER ESSAY RANT THING BUT ITS NOT IHNMAIMS SADLY.

I find it so interesting how REAL the desperation in the delivery of other mother saying "DONT LEAVE ME, ILL DIE WITHOUT YOU." is,, of course within the nature of the beldams character you'd find yourself questioning the honesty of this statement.

i mean duh we're not the 11 year old hurriedly rushing away from an entity we'd briefly been attached to and found solace in. from the start, other mother seems eerie and just. OFF. but i find it endlessly interesting how progressively desperate other mother is for coraline to stay with her. its incredibly vague what other mother does to the previous children in the movie. most people interpret it as her LITERALLY eating the children or eating their souls. but it seems like there is genuine attachment there, although incredibly unhealthy. its there.

while talking with the cat, not only does it comment that it thinks the mother simply wants something to love other than herself. but i noticed coraline literally walks away from the abhorrent situation she's left to deal with, only to end up right back where she started. which I think is a representation of how unhealthy coralines escapism through this world is. she is being neglected of attention and rather than branch out, she retreats to a world that seems much more welcoming. but is just as unhealthy as the last. walk around the world.

this is coralines world. at this age, her house, her parents, her. attachments. thats her whole world, and even as she detaches from it. humans are creatures of habit, so she ends up in practically the same place. and personally i think that says a lot about the other mother as well. confined to the pink palace apartments, she seeks out children who are unhappy and gives them everything they want in exchange for them blinding themselves to their pasts and being entirely dependent on her. and with each child, they sew the buttons and allow her to literally love them to death. its all she has, she exists for this soul purpose. or at least that's what shes convinced herself. the gap she has between reality, tragedy and triumph, to carve something she believes as perfection to appease others is all she is.

and as each other child shattered beneath the weight of her affection and bent to her charm, coraline falters. she refuses. she DARES to believe shed rather go back to her real parents, to realize shes not too far gone. its unpredictable, it breaks that mask of delusion SHES blinded herself. BLINDED OTHERS with. and brings her back to the cold reality that is the blank void she's been confined to. between reality. where she can only create half baked imitations of what's around her and pretend that what shes made is better. but who else is there for her to impress? to help. to play with.

just like with coraline, now that shes moved and lost her friends. her parents are all she has left to cling to.

BUT IDK thats just my interpretation

[lainiespicewrites]

Someone to take her home

Hey guys so I wrote this a while ago! This is a Henry one shot it an OFC because I'll die on the self insert hill! LOL it gives me so much comfort. Is that weird IDK. Anyway this story is kind of heavy. I wrote this to get out some feelings about an SA that I had experienced. I've always been someone that if I'm stressed I rewrite the situation with a comforting outcome or a better outcome to release the stress or make myself feel better. I wanted to sort of write myself a way to get some comfort from the trauma. And I hope having a character like this sweet soft version of Henry may help some of you too. I never reached out for myself for help and maybe I should have but if you experienced something please talk to someone. If you need someone to talk to or just want a place to let it out my DM's are a safe space <3 Just as disclaimer this doesn't mention any of the actual situation that happened to me. Just a filler to get out the emotion. Still this is a fluff with lots of love and sweet gentle young Henry bc I just know in my soul this was and is how he is as a person!

Warnings: Light Cursing, Trauma, Mentions of sexual assault. (Please reach out for help even if it's just talking to someone about your situation. My DM's are open if y'all wanna talk after this <3)

Description: OFC goes to college party and meets Henry and they become fast friends. and he helps her when things turn bad with a guy he warned her about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at myself in the mirror one more time. I needed to leave soon. If I looked any longer I would find something I hated and talk myself out of going. So I grabbed my bag and turned off my bedroom light. Nervous didn’t begin to describe how I was feeling. I’d never been to a party like this before. Sure I’d been out a few times in high school. But it was usually theater cast parties. And one time my friend and I stole some captain morgan from her parents liquor cabinet. But this was on an entirely different scale. 

Most of my drinking was a night in with the girls with wine or movie night drinking games. God I sound so boring. It’s not that I don’t enjoy partying. I was genuinely excited to be invited out tonight. Lilly and I had worked together for a few assignments in class. And we would say hi when we ran into each other in the dorms. But, I never expected to get a text this afternoon inviting me to her boyfriend's party. Purdue was an incredibly large campus. Upwards of 40,000 plus students. Yet somehow Lilly’s boyfriend Riley Hardesty seemed to know everyone. He was known for throwing huge parties all year. They weren’t exclusive. You could just be driving through the neighborhood and stop in.  But she told me a friend of  Riley’s had asked her about me. 

Matt Parker. I know of him. He’s in my English 204 lecture. But we’ve never talked. But he is really attractive. So maybe something good would come from all of this! I decided just to walk as my dorm wasn’t far from the house Riley and his roommates lived in. It was a cool night in mid october and I was definitely regretting the little black denim skirt I was wearing. I was smart enough to wear a cardigan but it was still cold. Thank God it's only 2 blocks down. I bit my lip nervously. Am I even going to know anyone here? Anyone I actually talk to? It’s too late now. I already got dressed and ready. I walked here. I have to go through with this. 

I took a deep breath and walked inside. Things were already full swing. I could hear the music outside before I even opened the door. No one seemed to notice me and honestly I was okay with that. I looked around scanning the room. Almost everyone had a drink in hand, standing around in groups talking. The smell of  pot hit me immediately as I started to walk through the house. I wasn’t  the least bit surprised. I made my way to the kitchen where I found multiple drinks, alcohol and mixers available. I kept it simple and grabbed a wine cooler. Something fruity. I was definitely going to need a buzz if I was going to be here longer than 5 minutes.

 I pushed my way out of the kitchen and found a quiet corner to drink and observe for a while. I was busy listening to some guys talk about last weekend's football game when I heard someone’s voice. And I realized they were talking to me. I shifted my eyes seeing a guy standing next to me. He was maybe 6’1, blue eyes, and brown hair with soft curls. I gave him a gentle smile,

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked. He smiled and chuckled softly. His smile was beautiful. 

“I uh, Just noticed your shirt. Are you a Def Leppard fan?” He asked. I looked down. I completely forgot that was the shirt I was wearing. I just thought a band t-shirt would look cute with the skirt. But

“Yeah! Well I know a few of their songs! My Mom was in her 20’s in the 80’s and she loved them!” I said. 

“She has good taste! They’re awesome! Are you here by yourself? Not trying to be creepy I just noticed you were by yourself over here and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” He rambled. I nodded.

“I look that out of place huh? Yeah, I um. I’m friends with Riley’s girlfriend. Well not friends necessarily. But I know her. Anyway she invited me because of some friend of Riley’s but I don’t know this isn’t normally my scene. Wow that was a lot,” I blushed. “Sorry,” I mumbled. 

“For?” He smiled, raising an eyebrow. “We’re talking. I like getting to know people! And I totally get it. This can kind of be a lot sometimes. I actually came with some friends but I needed to step away from all the crazy for a second. I’m Henry by the way.” He smiled, extending his hand. I took it and He squeezed mine softly. 

“Alayna!” I said. 

“It’s nice to meet you!” He smiled. “Which one of Riley’s friends? If you don't mind me asking,” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Matt Parker,” I said bluntly. “You know him,” Henry took a sip of his beer and nodded. 

“I do, He’s alright. We’re sort of friends I suppose. He may have good intentions. Listen, I know you don’t need my advice, but just be careful around him. I don’t know what you were expecting with him or hoping for. But he can be a little, well, if I had a daughter I wouldn’t trust him with her. But I could be wrong. I’m sorry, that was a bit much. I don't want to ruin your evening,” He said. 

“For?” I smirked copying his face from earlier. “You seem to have pure intentions. Just looking out for someone. That’s really kind of you actually. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. But I can handle myself. I didn’t really come out tonight for him. I wanted to actually let loose and have fun for once. I’ve been trying to have more adventures, meet new people, make new friends.” I smiled looking him in the eyes on that last part. He gave me a big smile and held out his beer bottle to cheers me. 

“To new friends,” He spoke and we clinked our bottles together. “I like you, I mean talking to you.” He said. 

“I like talking to you too! I was honestly super anxious about coming tonight. I was worried I’d be too anxious and awkward to have fun or it would be too much. Because this is a lot. I’m 100% sure I saw someone do coke off the kitchen counter. But I’m actually enjoying myself. Right now anyway.” I laughed. Henry chuckled. 

“Good! Well, I’m going to go find my friends but, what's your number? I’ll send you a text real quick and if you get overwhelmed or uncomfortable  or need to escape all of this for a bit come find me! Or text me. I’d be happy to be there for you.  And we can just chill out for a while.” I smiled and gave him my phone number. It was nice to meet someone as kind as Henry. You don’t meet a lot of people that… genuine and gentlemanly in places like this. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before he walked off to find his friends. I wandered off to get another drink while I was standing in the kitchen waiting to grab another wine cooler. I felt someone lay their arm across my shoulder. 

“Hey gorgeous,” I recognized Matt’s voice. I gave him a soft smile. 

“Hi,” I spoke. 

“I’m glad you came tonight, You having a good time,” He asked, clearly buzzed. 

“Yeah,” I said tentatively “One hell of a party!” I laughed. 

“For sure!” He smiled and moved to the side of me taking his arm off my shoulder. “What are you drinking babe?” He asked. 

“Just Mike's lemonade.” I chuckled awkwardly. 

“Aw come on girl you can do something stronger than that huh?” He joked. I shook my head.

“I probably could but I’d rather not get sick.” I said. 

“Aw well come on at least do a shot with me?” He asked, giving me a puppy dog face and pouting. “Just tequila, we got training wheels!” He added. 

“I don’t know… I don’t wanna get too crazy,” I said. 

“Nah, it’ll be alright, it’ll just loosen you up a bit!” He spoke already pouring the shots. He slid one over to me. And a piece of lime. “Ready?” I picked up the shot and stared at it questioningly. 

“Alright,” He smiled. We clicked the glasses and hit them against the table before taking the shot. It was super bitter. I immediately followed it with the lime. But it didn’t help much. When I looked up again Matt had gotten me another Mike’s from the cooler.

“Atta girl!” He smirked. He took a step closer and I took the drink from him. Then I heard someone call his name from across the house. They were starting another game of beer pong. “That’s my que babe, but wait for me yeah? I’ll come back to you after this game!” He smirked and left a wet kiss on my cheek before running off to join the boys. 

Charming is certainly not a word I would use to describe him. But he’s nice. And he’s just trying to make sure I have fun. There’s no harm in that. I wandered around the party again. I opened up my new bottle and tossed the cap on a nearby coffee table. I thought about watching the beer pong game but I honestly wasn’t interested. I found the door leading to the backyard and saw there was a bonfire going. I stepped outside and found an empty seat by the fire. I watched it crackle for a bit and took a long sip of my drink. I felt a warmth inside me and knew it was coming from the alcohol. I started to relax as I listened to the fire and the white noise of the people chatting around me. It was a gorgeous night.

“Hey!” I heard a voice from behind me. “Funny meeting you out here!” Henry spoke, pulling up a chair next to me.

“Hey!” I said excitedly. “It’s calm out here. I like it!” I said. Henry smiled. 

“I do too, I love a good fire. Fuels the soul.” He half joked. 

“ I love the smell! Is that weird?” I laughed. 

“No,” He chuckled softly “Not at all! So, besides the band on that very cool shirt, What other music do you like?” Henry asked, leaning back in his chair and taking a long swig of his beer. 

“Oh all kinds. I’m a big lover of the stuff from the 70s though! Elton John, Heart, the Beatles, I guess they’re technically 60’s. I know it’s kind of old school but. I feel like they just don’t make music like that anymore.” I explained. 

“Classic! I like it,” He smiled. 

“What about you?” I asked. 

“Oh I’m all over the place too. I’m actually a big country fan!” He smirked. 

“I wouldn’t have expected that from you but I respect it. It’s not my favorite genre but there are definitely some good ones there!” I smiled. Henry and I chatted for a while. We talked about our majors. He's a history major. Where we’re from, he has an accent but I didn’t want to ask and be weird about it. He told me he’s from the UK. We talked about books, history and our friends. It was nice. A little while later I felt an arm around my shoulder again. I knew it was Matt. 

“There she is! Did you think I forgot about you babe?” He asked. 

“No,” I smiled blushing softly. He smiled. 

“Hey Henry! Are you having a good time, man?” He asked. Henry nodded and finished his beer. 

“Yeah! Actually I should go get another one. It was nice talking to you Alayna!” He smiled at me before he got up and left. I don’t know why but I could tell Henry wasn’t the biggest fan of Matt. He said they were friends earlier but I think he was just trying to be nice

I was shaken from the thought when I heard Matt’s voice again. 

“Hey, follow me!” He said enthusiastically. 

“Okay,” I smiled. I got up and followed him back inside. He led us upstairs and down the hall to what I assume was his room. 

“Too many people out there, I wanted to be alone with you,” He smiled. 

“That’s really sweet! It is pretty crowded.” I said. 

“Yeah,” He said blankly. “Are you enjoying the party?” He asked. 

“I am,” I said half telling the truth. I enjoyed talking to Henry. 

“God you’re so gorgeous,” He said. “I always want to talk to you in class but you always leave so quickly I never get the chance.” He said. 

“Thank you,” I blushed. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. I don’t know if I wanted it or if it was the alcohol but I nodded. He smirked and leaned in kissing me on the lips. It was gentle at first but then he quickly started using tongue. I felt kind of awkward. So I backed away. “Oh sorry, you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” I lied. He just nodded and went back to kissing me. I kissed him back a bit but then I felt him start to feel me up. I froze. I really didn’t want that. He moved his hand under my shirt and I stopped him. 

“Uh Matt, I really don’t know about this.” I said nervously. He pulled back 

“It’s fine, nobody's gonna come in, don't worry about it.” He said and started kissing my neck. Oh god this sucks. 

“No I mean. I don’t… want to do this.” I stuttered. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun babe, it’ll be alright.” He kept feeling me up and continued kissing me. I felt stuck. He pushed himself against me, grinding into me. He moaned. I swallowed hard. Fuck, I really didn’t want this. 

“No, Matt, I really don’t want to.” I said again. 

“Shhh just go with it.” he said, shushing me. “You’ll enjoy it, I promise.” He said, sliding his hand under my skirt and rubbing his fingers against me. 

“No, stop Matt,” I said again, my voice quivering. He was definitely stronger than me. He used his other hand to take himself out of his shorts and he grabbed my hand putting it on him while he kept touching me, forcing his fingers inside. It hurt. I don’t know how but finally I found the strength to push him away from me. He stumbled back and fell against the bed and I ran out of the room. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes already but I had to get out of this house. I quickly ran down the stairs and out the front door. Matt was pretty drunk so I don’t even think he tried to follow me. I walked a little way down the street and stopped letting out a sob. What the hell just happened. How did I let that happen? How could I have been stupid enough to trust him or follow him? I didn’t know what to do. I probably should have headed back to the dorm but I didn’t want to be alone right now. I took to my phone trying to think of who to talk to. 

I saw I had a text. It was Henry. “Hey it’s me! Henry I mean lol feel free to text me anytime.” I sent him a quick text taking a deep breath and trying to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I was so stupid. He tried to warn me. 

“Hey, it’s Alayna, where are you?” I sent it. To my surprise he responded almost immediately. 

“By the fire, You okay?” it read. 

“Would you wanna go on a walk with me?” I asked. There’s no way I could go back there. 

“Sure :) where are you?” 

“On the front sidewalk like 3 houses down toward campus.” 

“Be right there!” true to his word about 2 minutes later I saw him walking down the sidewalk toward me. 

“How are you?” He asked. 

“Good,” I nodded absentmindedly. 

“Were you leaving?” He asked.

I um,” I stuttered “Yeah, it was just… too much. I was gonna head home. I feel stupid I was just gonna walk home. I'll be fine, I’ll let you have fun. I don’t wanna interrupt your night.” I rambled. 

“No! Please do! I’d be happy to walk you home. Talking with you was the most fun I had tonight actually.” He stated simply. I smiled weakly.

“I’m glad.” I said. 

“Are you alright?” He asked me. I sighed trying not to get emotional. 

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed and tired.” I lied. We walked in silence for a bit. I couldn’t believe how kind he was. The fact that he would leave his friends to walk me home. He was genuinely concerned about me. That feeling made me even more overwhelmed and finally after everything I could help but start crying. I felt like I had no control over my body as I started to sob. I felt my shoulders start to shake. Henry stopped and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Alayna what's wrong?” He asked me. I tried so hard to speak.

“He wouldn’t.. And I said… no, but he kept…” it all came out in broken sobs. Henry didn’t say anything. He just pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. After a few seconds. I started to calm down and tried to steady my breathing. 

“Shh it’s alright,  just breathe.” I heard him say. I slowed my breathing. “Did he touch you?” He asked gently, trying not to upset me again. I couldn’t speak, I just nodded. Henry went stiff. I looked up and saw his jaw was clenched. “Mother fucker,” He mumbled quietly under his breath. Then he spoke louder “Do you want to go talk to someone? Like report it?” He asked. Again his voice was gentle. I shook my head. 

“I can’t, I know I should but I really can’t, not now.” I said. He nodded. 

“Okay, well let's get you home.” He said. I started to walk again. Henry kept an arm around me as we walked. We were quiet the whole way there. He walked me all the way to the door. Wanting to make sure I got in okay.

“Thank you,” I said. But just as he turned to leave I grabbed his hand. “Wait, please don’t go.” I said, trying not to sound desperate. Not that I had the energy to care. 

“You want me to stay?” he asked. I nodded. 

“Yeah, no, I .. I don’t .. You don’t have to, I’ll be okay.” I said. 

“Hey,” He paused, grabbing my hand. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” So I took off my shoes and slipped into the bathroom to change into some shorts. I laid in my bed and Henry sat next to me. “Do you want to watch something?” He asked. I nodded. And turned on my TV scrolling aimlessly. I stopped on some old 90’s sitcom. 

“Thank you, for staying,” I said. 

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. And I meant what I said. I had more fun talking to you tonight than with anyone else.” He smiled sympathetically. 

“I did too,” I said.  I sat up going to kiss him but he stopped me.

“Not tonight, darling. Believe me I would love to kiss you. But I think you’ll regret it later if you do this now. I like you. I’m not going anywhere. Let's take this slow. You’ve been through a lot tonight. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. But I think tonight you need to rest.” he said. The universe gave me Henry tonight. If I hadn’t ran into him. I’d have been alone after being sexually assaulted by a guy I barely know. Any other guy wouldn’t have treated me like him. He was so gentle and respectful. He was genuinely looking out for my best interest when he could’ve taken advantage of my vulnerability. I just nodded.

“I’m sorry that was stupid.” I sighed. 

“No, it wasn’t” he put his arm around me pulling me into his side and I naturally rested my head on his chest. “You don’t need to apologize. Try to get some rest.” He spoke gently. I could hear his heartbeat and my breath slowed to match the rhythm. Eventually so did he. I looked up to find him asleep with his arm still around me. I settled in snuggling into his side. All the noise around me slowly faded away and I finally got to rest, falling asleep in Henry’s arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s it you guys please let me know what you think. I love you all so much! You’ve shown my writing so much love 🥰

[sparklingcid3r]

are you a tim and darry shipper? if so, PLEASE share some hcs of them

YESSIR I AM‼️ oh my days i’ve been dying to yap about them bc i’ve been obsessed 🙏 i won’t go into how i think they actually found out about each other’s man-kissing tendencies bc im thinking of writing a fic abt it (if it doesn’t happen then i’ll write abt it here lol) but here we go‼️ ooc? perchance🤫

- Incredibly private relationship. Neither of them want a single soul to know

- So naturally they get walked in on by Pony

- “You said you locked the door” “It’s not the same kind of lock we got at my place” “It’s a lock” “That you never even use” “Do you know how to lock my door?” “Do you know how to lock your door?”

- (It’s not Tim’s fault tho because not even Pony remembers which way to turn it, he’s just jiggling it until it clicks. Seriously, why would anyone need to know?)

- Darry’s idea of being romanced is coming home from work to see Tim doing the dishes while playing Darry’s favorite Ricky Nelson records in the background.

- Just sweep him off his feet, Tim, why don’t you🙄

- Fr tho acts of service is Darry’s love language, catch him SWOONING when Tim says he’ll pick up Pony from school and then come back to help him dig leaves out of the gutter. Most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to him

- Idk if Tim has a love language, but maybe it’d be quality time. Even if they aren’t saying anything, he just likes hanging out and unwinding with Darry at the end of the day

- If they haven’t been able to see each other for a while because of Darry’s long ass work days, Tim sometimes visits him during his lunch break at work, just to talk and catch up. He brings two bottles of ginger ale because he knows Darry can’t drink on the clock, but could stand to crack open a cold one

- They’ll go and watch the rodeos together when Dally is jockying and Soda’s doing saddle bronc

- One time he came home to find Tim, Pony, and Soda very heatedly yelling at the soap opera playing on the television. They made him swear to secrecy before letting him join in

- Lotsss of stab wounds in the coaster next to the couch. Darry only got it after one too many accidents with Tim not remembering that the Curtis family doesn’t just bury their blades into furniture when they’re particularly emotional

- Darry actually gets along well with Angela, they have pretty similar music taste. He’s also telling her which teachers she wants for which classes, and also the best spot to park to pull out of school quick before traffic builds up

- Darry wants to spend some time at Tim’s place, but Tim refuses nearly every time. His parents are always drunken, high crash outs when they’re home and the place is just a mess. He’s a purebred hood, but he’s also the only one trying to run a tight ship around there for his siblings’ sake

- Tim bounces around from job to job, he never really found a rhythm anywhere. Darry once sat down to help him hunt, but Tim’s better suited for odd jobs anyway, so that’s where his money rolls in from

- Definition of power couple. They’re mean asl in solo fights but put them on the same team and it’s lights out

- There’s an on-going bet on the East side about who would win in a fight between them

- Darry and Tim know about this and also get into arguments about it

- Love the idea of characters who are described as things such as “feline” or “deer-like” or “spider-like” etc etc also act like those animals, so the minute Tim was described as cat-like I knew that in my head he’s taking naps and when he gets up, he does the full body, hands in the air stretch until every bone has popped and he’s got just slightly longer canines than usual, “blink and you’ll miss it” slight. Darry thinks it’s hot

- They’ve mutually agreed to never accept gifts from each other because they’re too proud but also too insecure about money and don’t want to be leeching off the other

- Tim doesn’t sleep on the Curtis’ couch unless he’s in rough shape from a fight the night before or he wants to catch Darry in the morning, but more often than not it’s because of a fight. Pony and Soda only know about a fraction of the times Tim has done this and just think “damn darry ur bf’s gay asl for u”

Gang i love them sm it’s not even funny this is so serious for me😭🙏

[everyonewooeverywhere]

I saw drabbles were open and I am here to be a menace to society~

Typical evening in the WooJoongJong (idk sis if u got a better name I'm all ears 😭) dorm? Maybe them arguing over dinner and gn!9th member MC platonically getting in on the chaos?

I just love those three platonically sm, genuinely wanna be besties they seem like a riot

ok ok i had a lot of fun writing this 😭 do i know what the fuck is going on?? no, but at least it was enjoyable

thank you for the ask, love 💗💗 this was a blast to write

✭✭✭✭

If you were being honest, quiet was a rare occurrence in the dorms. With the sheer number of people, it was almost impossible that you would find a moment of complete silence in your day in the dorms. 

Tonight, though, it seemed like that might happen. You and Jongho slurped away at the dinner you had so graciously cooked for the two of you (it was payment for him killing the roach you had found in the bathroom only two days prior). No words were exchanged. He silently scrolled on his phone while you skimmed through the book you were trying to read. It was incredibly boring, but somehow you didn’t mind. It was peaceful. 

You were excited to hopefully enjoy a nice and peaceful night. It was the start of a night you could only dream of.

But when Hongjoong burst out of the bedroom, your dreams instantly shattered. Wooyoung trailed behind him. Both looked unsettled. Joong was clearly upset, and Wooyoung looked like he had gotten the first glimpse of that. You could only assume you and the man seated across from you were going to receive the next moments of his rage.

Jongho, clearly unbothered, had yet to look up from his phone. 

“Alright!” Hongjoong started. You waited in anticipation, but Jongho only glanced up at the man, “Who broke the lamp?”

“What lamp?” Jongho inquired. 

Hongjoong scoffed, “What lamp?” he mocked, voice pitched higher than usual. “We only have one fucking lamp. And it’s broken. So…who broke it?”

You and Jongho glanced at each other. Clearly thinking the same thing. You both turned to him, “Wooyoung.”

“Ok fuck you guys,” the aforementioned man piped up from behind Hongjoong, “You both know I didn’t break it. It was that stupid rabbit Y/n brought home last week.”

You gawked at him, “Snitch.”

“Rabbit!?” Hongjoong was clearly thrown off by the presence of the little critter you had acquired.

“Yeah Y/n bought a rabbit, and they’ve been keeping it under your bed,” Jongho finally put his phone down, “I’m honestly surprised you haven’t noticed.” 

You shook your head, so called friends. They had promised they wouldn’t tell, but you, too, honestly were pretty surprised Joong had yet to notice the newly acquired animal. She wasn’t quiet, at all, and she shed profusely. Maybe he had thought the hair was one of your guys’.

“Why the fuck did you get a rabbit? What happened to ‘no pets’?”

Shrugging, you answered him, “She was really cute. I couldn’t help it! And it’s only temporary! My parents are coming to get her next month when they visit Seoul. I honestly didn’t think it would matter since she’s in a cage when you're here.”

“So you were purposely hiding it from me?”

“Her. I was specifically hiding her from you. Because I knew you’d freak out.”

You saw the door behind him open, and behind him emerged Jongho (who you didn’t notice had gotten up from the table). He had the rabbit in his arms. 

He showed her to Hongjoong. “She’s honestly pretty cute.” Jongho said, pushing the rabbit into your friend’s arms.

You, in real time, watched him melt at the sight of the little white bunny. 

“Ok, yeah she is kinda cute.”

You laughed at him.

“But the lamp is still broken.”

You waved a dismissive hand, “We can just buy a new one.”

Joong glared at you, “No, you can by a new one. And I’m keeping the rabbit.”

“What!? No the fuck your not!”

He shrugged and retreated into the bedroom with your daughter in his arms.

[speckle-meow-meow]

Idk if you're up for angst but I'm bored ✋🏻😭

But a part two to Eddie and Frank being parents to an emotionless teen

But Reader and Eddie get into an argument and suddenly reader flinched and starts crying apologizing to Eddie saying they didn't mean to.

Anyways have a good day/night!

Warnings: Angst but comfort after, past signs of abuse, a wee bit of yelling, Eddie being stern and him grabbing your arm, you running away

Lil background: Your past parents weren't the kindest they would yell and scream at you and each other. They were troubled, very troubled. You were scared of loud noises, fast movements, yelling, etc. After years of neglect and abuse you began to lose every sense of feelings, you wouldn't cry if someone insulted you or gave you a gift, you wouldn't laugh whenever someone told a joke or a child fell. And all that has left you in this situation.

Present time:

You were doing the chores you were assigned to by your new parents, Frank and Eddie, they adopted you a while ago and showed you lots of love and security. Even though you were getting better at expressing your feelings you were still having trouble, anytime they asked you to do something you responded with a nonchalant answer.

Frank and Eddie appreciated your progress they really did and they really didn't care how you responded to them because they knew you didn't mean any hostility, but when it came to the neighbors they hoped that you would show some emotion.

You were with poppy helping her bake, she knew your situation to an extent but didn't know that you were well emotionless, she just thought that you were being a teen. While baking poppy was trying to make conversation but when you responded you only made short blank answers. Poppy thought you didn't like her or was just being rude so she brought this up to Eddie and Frank when she took you home, before Frank could explain your attitude Eddie stepped in and said he'd deal with it.

Mean while you were up in your room making a sorry card to poppy, you saw that you were making her uncomfortable with your short answered and decide to apologize with a card and flowers.

you were heading down stairs, with the card in your back pocket but Eddie stopped you before you reached the door.

"And where do you think you're going young Mx?" he stepped into the hallway with his arms crossed, "I'm going to pick some flowers." you said then you opened the door stepping out until Eddie grabbed your arm trying to pull you back in, you screamed and hit his arm causing him to let you go, you looked back at his face with tears and you ran.

~Time skip~

It has been a couple of hours since the incident and Eddie and Frank were worried sick, Frank scolded Eddie on his behavior they both knew your situation yet one of them seemed to have forgotten. Everyone even you knew that the Mail man was forgetful but it still didn't excuse what he did.

Eddie felt incredibly terrible for what he did, so he grabbed a blanket and went to look for you. Eventually he found you in a flower field picking flowers like you said you would, he cautiously approached you and alerted you of his presence. You understandably were still on edge but you let him approach, he put the blanket on you and apologized for his actions. You both stayed there for a little while and you fell asleep. Eddie had to carry you back.

The next day you finished the card and gave it to poppy.

[submarinerwrites]

v.c. andrews, flowers in the attic

★★★★☆

flowers in the attic is a classic of modern gothic fiction. published in 1979, it tells the story of the four dollanganger siblings and their imprisonment in the attic of their ancestral home.

my boyfriend and i picked this as our second bookclub book. i was extremely excited to read it since it’s been on my mental tbr since i heard about it in middle school, but i’d always been dissuaded from even purchasing the book by my mother, who found it deeply disturbing. i didn’t. in fact, there was something comforting about the story. flowers in the attic reminded me strongly of adolescence and the feeling of confinement that pervaded mine and so reading it was deeply cathartic in that sense.

andrews has an incredible sense of atmosphere. the entire novel feels like a fairytale—not, of course, a sanitized disney version but one of the real ones, with teeth. even at its most intense moments, the novel remains dreamy and somnolent, reminiscent of radcliffe’s seductively hypnotic prose (but probably honestly not as good), a sensation that’s enhanced by cathy’s deeply disturbing semi-prophetic dream sequences. this romantic fairytale atmosphere would be interesting to compare with the virgin suicides probably.

i will note that this is actually a story where i feel like the horror/terror distinction promogulated by radcliffe does actually make sense. flowers in the attic does not, in my opinion, ever actually reach the point of horror—it doesn’t paralyze your senses with fear, if that makes sense. you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, which of course radcliffe argues is an atmosphere of terror. even the scenes that most align with the idea of horror end up closer to terror due to andrews’s frequent deescalation of the plot. before cathy and chris are forced to eat raw mice to survive, for instance, they discover the grandmother (supposedly, though based on later evidence i actually think it was more likely their mother) has left them their picnic basket of food. and again, even when horrific things happen, andrews’s prose decisions mean that they don’t feel like horror.

this is also an interesting novel to think about with respect to the male and female gothic, a distinction i think is usually reductive but which interests me here. andrews spent much of her life in a wheelchair while living with a mother who was ashamed of her. as such, much of the novel resonates with radcliffe’s concern about female dependency, consanguineal responsibility, and property rights. it’s very mysteries of udolpho of andrews tbh.

on the subject of consanguineal responsibility: typically, within the gothic, it’s the traitorous family member who commits the act of incest, because the incest is a metaphor for the way their familial responsibilities have been perverted. here, however, chris is not the villain, and cathy does love him, deeply and irrationally. it’s a neat kind of inversion: even though their incestuous relationship is a consequence of a lack of consanguineal responsibility, it’s not necessarily about chris’s specific role in that failure. andrews’s inversion of the concept keeps their relationship romantic, and enchanted, and almost sacred.

also!! hellOOO freudian attraction to the opposite sex parent!! not gonna get into it but it reminded me strongly of the idea that the relationship between fathers and daughters is always already erotically charged.

i will say that the intensity of this erotic parental relationship for both cathy and chris honestly makes the eventual transgression of the incest taboo seem less surprising? lmao. like their attraction to their parents is so intense that it makes sense for them to also be attracted to each other, especially since the book makes so much of them being their parents’s clones.

idk i just thought there should have been more guilt and angst over the incest, but really it felt like both cathy and chris accepted it as the natural course of things. which for them it was, and in some ways i was glad there wasn’t that much shame because there usually is with female teenage protagonists who have sex, even without the element of incest, but at the same time, the shame is what makes it delicious. so i do wish there were more.

and on a similar note, the fact that chris rapes cathy is soooo intensely romance novel coded. her desire for chris is obvious and intense and terrifying and i think in some ways the rape is meant to be the author’s gift to cathy. the onus of desire is taken off of her and she gets to have what she wants without having to ask for it or feel guilty for having it happen. idk much to think about here.

other things i loved: the blood-drinking!! holy shit, that was a good scene. as i think i’ve discussed before, cannibalism and incest have been inextricably symbolically linked since literally the eighteenth century, so i loved that andrews included it. but at the same time, that scene is incredibly tender and loving, which is such a delightful inversion.

as far as the prose goes, it was entertaining but not strictly speaking what i would call great or even especially good. it’s not bad, but it’s not even close to the most compelling thing about the novel: there are no lines that i feel really stuck out to me. it was just kind of... there. not necessarily in a bad way, but the content was clearly more important to andrews than the form.

overall, i really enjoyed the novel. i adore the gothic as a genre, and i can see why it became a cult classic. there’s so much about flowers in the attic that’s compelling, and compelling for young women in particular, and it’s honestly a novel i’d love to share with any future daughters.

[weirdoinred]

I was really drowsy earlier and i thunk up some lore for my dynastyAU about soundwaves backstory. Buckle up yall this is a long one

Vos is a very large region of cybertron that was split up into four parts in order to make ruling easier. Vos is also one of the last two regions on cybertron that uses a monarchy. It was split up into northern, eastern, southern, and western kingdoms, each with its own ruling family. Eastern Vos is actually the biggest kingdom, both in size, population, and military, as its main focus is security and weapons development. Starscream, his trine, and most of the other seekers originate from eastern Vos, with Starscream being the last ruler before his whole power hungry usurping of the rest of Vos and the start of the great war.

Eastern, western, and northern Vos are completely cut off from the rest of cybertron and do not allow outsiders into their territory. They only allow trade and communication between the other parts of Vos and with other Vosians. Northern Vos is a lot more lenient with this policy as apposed to western and eastern Vos as both kingdoms see cross communication as treason and the punishment for being caught is severe. Southern Vos is vastly different and the rulers actually encourage interactions with other cybertronians.

Southern Vos was ruled by Empress Skyline. Long story short, she fell in love with a grounder before she was crowned Empress and after she ran away and had their first sparkling together she was found and brought back home. The grounder, a mech named Chambertune, snuck i to Vos to rescue here and was also caught, no surprise there, and was about to be executed when Skyline came running in and put herself between the excecutioner and her conjunx. She argues with her parents, theres an emotional moment, Chambertune is released, and for her bravery and idk true spark or something, shes crowned Empress as her parents retire from ruling and make Chambertune the royal ambassador and he deals with customs or something. Basically they put him in charge of opening the borders and integrating their society. Fun times yay.

So they had their first child, her name is Hurricane (theres a reason why please just trust me), while Skyline was in her running away era, and after she ascended to the throne, her and Chambertune proceeded to have six more sparklings over the course of several million years. Soundwave was the very last sparkling they had together. In this AU he also ends up working for Senator Ratbat but there is a lot that happens before that.

What i meant when i said Starscreams power hungry usurping of the rest of Vos, is that this dude went absolutely apeshit. The second he was crowned Winglord, all he wanted was more power. I wanna be clear that he is not a bad guy. Hes just incredibly spoiled and his entire childhood was his parents constantly feeding his ego about when he would finally be the ruler of eastern vos. Hes like 19-20 when hes put in charge. But once he got the throne it was horrifyingly anticlimactic. He expected to feel a lot more than he actually did and it was upsetting. He spent years yearning for this power and then once he got it, it wasnt enough. So the gears in his dumb little brain began to turn and he schemed an honestly terrible idea but bc he was Winglord, no one was brave enough to tell him other wise, not even his own brothers.

His plan was to take over the other nations of Vos. Spoiler alert, he did it. Vos was unified into one again. The ruling familys were taken captive and if they didnt bow to him, they were removed from the equation. His biggest problem was Southern Vos. Because of how they had been integrating their society for millennium before he was even created, half of the population was comprised of grounders. This didnt bode well with his ideal kingdom of Vos so he set his military wild. What they did to Southern Vos was genocide. They took the fliers and killed the grounders. The hybrids and halfbreeds were kept alive in hopes of breeding out the grounder genes.

Empress Skyline, Chambertune, and their three eldest children fought Starscreams military off the best they could while the younger four children fled the kingdom. They were unfortunately, spotted by a lost soldier, who reported to a general about the four escapees. That same lost soldier fire two rockets at them, intending to block their path but hit too close to them and knocked two of the kids out. The oldest of the four, who was not knocked unconscious, stopped to check on the younger two while Soundwave, a bit disoriented and dizzy, ran in a random direction. His brother saw him run but he was too far away to hear his call. As he reached the border, a stray rocket him close to him and the shockwave knocked him across. The blast also hit his left side and messed up a lot of wires and connectors in his processors, knocking him out and giving him amnesia and reducing his processing ability, leaving him mostly mute.

then it pretty much follows the idw backstory with him being found and taken in by ravage, buzzsaw, and laserbeak. I havent thunken how to weave in his telepathy but i have somewhat of an idea. In this au, outlier abilities are a mutation. that mutation gene, in rare cases, can be passed down genetically to offspring. Its more likely for a sparkling to have an outlier ability if both parents have the mutation gene. In this case, Chambertune has that mutation gene but Skyline does not. Out of their 7 offspring, only 3 of them, have the gene. Is a lot more than usual but thats only bc an ancestor of Skyline had a very weak outlier ability that was only usable when he was in danger. Hurricane is one of them (her original name was changed once her outlier ability developed), Soundwave of course is another, and i havent decided on a name for the last outlier child but his power is one of my favorites.

yeah yeah so hes found by those three, he spends a little while with them, then in a little stealing from the rich stunt, he gets caught by senator ratbat cuz it was his place they were stealing from. Ravage, bs, and lb are able to get away bur soundwave isnt so lucky. Ratbat finds out about his telepathy (hes got like three different powers but those dont show up until later) and decides “hey ur useful! Mine now” and adopts him. Hes a terrible person and an even worse dad but we’re not getting into that right now.

but yeah thats like the gist of the lore. Some of it is still in development so im open to suggestions for a few things, one of which is names for soundwaves 5 other siblings (two femmes, three mechs), and also maybe a better resolution for Skyline reconnecting with her parents and becoming Empress bc i have not thought that era through

[solar-tl-27]

So I just saw all your redesigns that you’ve done for the Winx (plus other characters) they all look incredible btw .Wonderful job!!!

Got any cool lore bits you can drop ?

Any story /worldbuilding changes you got ?

Omg yes

I got some world building

I wanna put way more focus on the dragon and I actually wanted it to physically be the way the magic dimension is built up

Have a very quick doodle i did of that idea

I also am changing up the relationships when it comes to the main group I don’t want it to be season 1 and 2 and boom everyone has a boyfriend.. i want it to be more spread out and explore more ideas for some of them

I’m planning on keeping the main aspects of each season intact like the villains and main premise until like season 6 because i want some more characters to have their individual moments

I also didn’t kill off nabu i killed off riven but he’s not a walking red flag in my rewrite so it’s probably still gonna hurt

In my rewrite musa goes by muse because i wanted to break up the all names end with a thing going on and i also have muse go mostly by he/ they pronouns

I’m keeping chimera because honestly we need more found family and i just don’t want the illusion of stella’s parents getting back together to be a thing i can make them goth and trendy siblings it will be fun.

I also wanna work in more lore on where the boys are from and where the trix are from.

I have been putting a lot of effort into reworking zenith and melody at the moment really working out how i wanna build their culture so that can reflect in how characters look and react

And im writing in the existence of fairy animals from the start with it so i can expand the ecosystems of the magic dimension!

Now for some juicy character lore bits

Daphne and valtor will have a history but they are very different from their original counterparts in my rewrite

I’m keeping professor palladium closer to his season one design cuz i honestly prefer it

Also palladium x avalon canon i make the rules

I’m keeping diaspro and I actually made her a specialist and not a fairy cuz no more boys can’t be fairies and girls can’t be paladins I’M GIVING HER A SWORD!

The trix are gonna get more casual outfits because we were robbed

I gave tecna a hearing aid and tecna also can’t fly I’m limiting her to gliding as a reference to her paraglider wings in season 1 and also just cuz i feel it’s more interesting to have diversity in battle styles.

(Tecna will also hopefully be the next post)

Furthermore i changed artu into a shiba because they are known for their strong personalities and i get wanting to give the dog eye brows for expression but why didn’t they just pick a breed that had more natural looking brow like markings 😭😭

Roxy WILL be getting every transformation because i like to draw and i love roxy she deserves more!

And although i love tecna and timmy they are the only official mc pairing that isn’t canon in my rewrite and idk if it will be due to my zenith rework. THEY DO INTERACT I JUST WANNA TRY OTHER THINGS WITH TECNA!

And that’s all i got to share for now

I can do more of these posts when i have the inspo for it and more to share cuz i love winx and i love my rewrite of it!

Thank u for reading byeee!

[golden28s]

Totally optional, fun Gallavich questions ☀️🌙

thanks for tagging me to the coolest person @callivich 💖

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? i havent read that many gallavich fanfics since i watched the show in like april BUT im loving Africa and ill probably read it once it's finished

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? s7 gifsets are really person to me but also maybe s10 and s11 because they reached the peak of softness

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about? maybe that ian would tell mickey "i told you so" when they become parents and mickey turns out to be an absolute incredible dad that will play, sing, dance anything with his children.

What’s a fanart you love looking at? maybe @gallavichonly @heymrspatel and i accept recommendations btw id love to see more fanart

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration? id probably write like a series of one shots based on taylor swift songs

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else? i think that not judging characters, like always be aware of their circumstances and what made them do or say that and that might not justify them but it explains their thought process, it explains why and gives them some sort of humanity to their mistakes idk if this makes sense but yeah that, don't judge a character too soon, try to understand them.

What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of? the secret dating, we know they secretly dated and stuff but i feel like it's actually a really fun concept to play with despite their circumstances in the show, it gives you so many possibilities.

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show? the early seasons have special place in my heart, so s4-5 and i think gallavich totally saved s7, i love that part of the season

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved? i would've loved to see ian healing from the grooming and realizing it was grooming, it would've been nice for the character to heal old wounds and start fresh a new life with mickey in a new neighborhood ready to create new memories

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough? the just wondering if we're a couple or not scene, we definitely should discuss more the fact that mickey answered too quickly, he absolutely had been calling ian boyfriend in his head

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? im gonna quote noel fisher and as he said: "Ian's been that kind of guiding angel for Mickey so he's going to have to turn into a pretty much kind of a protective angel for Ian"

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale? i think they're gonna learn to communicate even more, they were in really good path already. i think the writers didn't have much faith in them in that aspect but the conversation they have in s11 about going back or not to the new neighborhood made evident that they can communicate, they listen to each other and understand the reasons, each other's feelings. so yeah, i think they're gonna get even better at that and also they're not gonna wait that much to become parents. i think they eventually will find new jobs, ian will have his tomatoes and mickey will adore looking at him doing his thing every sunday morning. i really really think they finally found their peace, their home and are gonna be very very happy and disgustingly in love forever because they're also hopeless romantic and want that so bad.

im gonna tag a few people and as always feel free to do it or not <3 @lupeloto @mikhailoisbaby @mickeysgaymom @redwiccanrobin @lyricailove @energievie @depressedstressedlemonzest @juliakayyy

[storiesofsvu]

Weird ask ig idk

What would the characters from criminal minds greys anatomy specialties be/ who would be friends with who?

not weird at all nonny! we love a good crossover! shout out to @swimmingstudentchaos891 for talking through this with me!

Starting off with some of the one that instantly came to me;

Garcia: She's in dermatology. We all know she doesn't like the ick and gruesome of crime scenes, so she wants to stay away from all the blood and gore of surgery. And the ep when they discover the derm floor? it's all happy and calm and rainbows and sunshine and I just think she would fit in well there!

Spencer: he's nuero. It just makes sense, he's super smart, with his memory would be able to excel in that field. While schizophrenia is a mental illness it's still likely the most linked to neurological and that's gonna be a big motivation there too.

Tara: girl's ortho. Don't ask me why. She just is. She's the one out of all of them I think would love breaking bones the most. She can't help but feel cocky when the big football players come in with dislocated shoulders and they're all manly about it until she's shoving it back into place and they're screaming like babies. She'd also be so soft and so good with kids who come in who fell off the monkey bars or something.

Alex Blake: psych. I think that's pretty self explanatory. she'd excel there, or possibly be the hospital's therapist cause lord knows those dr's need fucking help. lol

Emily: Cardio god. She just has that power and you know she's the cocky, sometimes the god complex comes out. She'd be incredible. (she'd also be the McSteamy of this universe but less of a dick, and with a bigger dick. i don't make the rules)

Hotch: he's gonna be chief, or like, the head of the resident program thing. Something similar to Webber. He just has the upper level authority that people respect.

JJ: pediatrics. She's so good and soft with the tiny humans. If she hadn't fully decided on a specialty it was after having Henry that she realized she wanted to be able to help kids and she's super good with keeping parents calm.

Morgan: Hear me out. He's either an EMT or a nurse. Cause we all need a hot boi nurse in our lives. Or he's the super hot emt that rolls up with ambulances and just knows all the nurses are heart eyed for him. He flashes that cocky grin, sticks around for a coffee, little flirt master.

Rossi: i came up blank, but Lu says optometry so I agree. He's probably just around doing consults and hanging out, not as much surgery anymore. Still a published author but this time medical books, has a plethora of knowledge when the younger dr's are looking for something specific in a medical journal.

Luke: I've put him down for trauma. I think he'd be able to do that really well, his experience in the field, he's quick on his feet, not afraid to improvise kinda thing.

As for who'd be friends with whom and other little headcanons, I don't have much because there's SO many characters on Grey's and it's been a while since i've watched it (this ask literally made me restart s2, so i might have more thoughts as I go through LOL)

-Garcia and Arizona are absolutely gonna be besties. They both love all things fun and pink and adorable.

-Spencer and Lexi are 1000% going to find a bff in each other. They've both kinda grown up the "weird" kid who graduated super early and shit, so they've finally found someone else who's like them and the same age.

-Rossi is going to find himself immediately adopting the Deluca siblings. At first it's just because he hears them arguing in Italian and is able to cut in and calm them down but after he hears about their dad/family dynamics he's just all "nope, i am your papa pasta now"

-Spencer & Meredith are going to have some dark and twisty bonding over their mothers and how trying to help them is honestly exhausting and draining but they're gonna keep doing it and trying to find cures/treatments.

-Rossi and Luke are going to have some form of boding with Teddy and Owen over their various times serving and the trauma/ptsd and shit that comes with that.

There's probably SO much else i could get into but that's all I've got for now. Loved the ask! Love shit like this! thank you nonny!

[chrislaplante]

All the munday asks bye

from this meme...

i will now quietly plot my vengeance as i copy & paste this shit & snack on gummies...

When did you start writing on Tumblr? 2012-ish.

Who was your first muse? danny desai from abc family's short-lived show, twisted.

Who are your longest rp friends? darls & des. tho darls i seldom talk to nowadays. but we keep up with each other via instagram. then, once every other full moon we coincide while online & we chat for a bit. it's always very pleasant.

Favourite thing about roleplaying? it's an incredibly therapeutic creative outlet.

Least favourite thing about roleplaying? writer's block & some ppl in the rpc.

OTP for your muse? riot's (YOUR) helena / @bornhngry.

NOTP for your muse? idk. don't have one yet.

What are some similarities between you and your muse/muses? shit. well. here's the thing. chris started off as a sort of therapy for me. using this character to explore things in my life i didn't want to touch. death of a parent, the shitstorm that came with that. finding yourself, many years later, mentally ill & having to deal with that & having to do it on your own bc you're also breaking a cycle in your family. facing personal demons, so to speak. of course, chris & myself became very different in a lot of ways once he began to gain a voice of his own. which he found pretty quickly (i'm very thankful for that too). but, at the core, there are some things we share. few.

What are some differences between you and your muse/muses? he was dealt a different hand in life than mine. in some ways better, in some ways worse. he has a very different perspective in life than i do, most times. i wanna shake some sense into him sometimes. he did one thing i will never do tho, make art my job. lol i don't think i could deal with that. it sounds terrible. as someone who likes to be creative, as he, i would suffer so much through a job like that. he somehow does it, i couldn't tell you.

Would you be friends with your muse if they were real? to be completely honest? no. lol he'd give me so much anxiety it's not even funny. he gets into some shit. nope.

Would you write with duplicate characters? How do you think your muse would react? i would if, and this is a very IF bc chris is an original character... IF my rp partner were writing some kind of entity (in chris' world, a "demon") which can take his form and fuck with him severely. that i would pay to see bc chris is smart, but his biggest fear is within himself (becoming like his father).

Have you any old muses that you’d love to bring back? there are a couple of them, yeah. but then i remember how poorly i was doing back then, mentally speaking, and lol i immediately pass on it. tho there is two or three who did lots for me as a writer, i would love to take on them again. just not right now. maybe later on. we'll see.

What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know? well, few people know the hc about how chris lost his virginity. which was essentially statutory r*pe (he was a minor, the other person wasn't). anyway, this headcanon i stole from a very famous author and one of his more infamous stories: rage by "richard bachman". charlie, the main character, loses his virginity this way. i simply modernized it a bit bc this story came out in the seventies. this boy holds his high school class at gun point and i think (it's been a while, let's ask alyssa @00sgoth, she used to write the guy - i was writing damien echols at the time lol) he shoots a teacher. so "richard bachman" (stephen king) decided to let the story die out and go out of print when school shootings began to occur more often. in the 90s, i believe. after kip kinkel.

Who is an author that inspires you? stephen king lol clearly.

What do you look for in a rp partner? someone who is willing to explore their muses. bc that's all i'm about with mine. exploration, getting to know them. and then putting them in different settings to discover new things.

i'm a firm believer that repetition kills creativity.

Favourite trope? the most innocent, endearing character can be the most dangerous in the room... thus, chris.

Least favourite trope? letting the hero become the villain. bc as fun as it is, in the end, what was the point of the story then?

Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet? yeah, but that's been my fault. lol i have yet to write out chris' alt. verses & how on earth am i to explore them with anyone if i don't even have them set to offer them?

Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music? well, chris has his playlist but it varies for me. lots of metal. a lot of sad songs. a lot of self aware songs.

How do you overcome writer’s block? i don't. like in therapy, i just i let it ride. let it happen. it'll pass, it's okay. then when it goes away i'm back on and writing. simple.

Are there certain characters that you gravitate towards? not really. or at least, not consciously. but i guess i do have a thing for the outcasts. lol

Short, medium, or long threads? see, i always say short or medium but end up writing fucken novellas here and there. so i guess i should say any length. lol

Do you ever get jealous when rping? How do you handle this? nope. i don't even get jealous of my partners when in a very real emotional relationship. lol i just can't.

What about your muse are you most proud of? that he's somehow defied all the odds and became his own self. i didn't mean for it to happen, it just sort of happened.