#and therefore connected to Black struggles

[nothorses]

a transmasc only discord server is kind of fucking weird tbh. you call transfems seperationists for voicing their unique oppressions and then get pissy and make a server where you can just circle jerk and pat each other on the back, never questioning your transmisogyny? i think people can see who the true “seperationists” are.

About a year ago the queer black woman leading the organization we were working to start asked me and the other white people working with her to lead an affinity group that white families joining the org would be required to participate in, and which would read and discuss anti-racist/anti-white supremacist literature together, as a way of protecting space for black & brown staff, families, and program participants.

She stressed that it was important for this to be specific to white people, and explained that she wanted to start a parallel one for people of color involved in the org, because those conversations are really different between those groups. Importantly, the kind of honesty and vulnerability required to effectively unpack white supremacy culture is, well, generally not safe (or often possible) for people of color to embody in a space where white people are unpacking their own white supremacist ways of thinking and acting- even if they're doing it in an explicitly anti-racist context.

This is derived from the idea of "affinity groups", often specifically "identity affinity groups", which are commonly used in activist spaces and workplaces seeking to dismantle oppressive systems and culture from within. The idea is that creating spaces specific to identities allows for conversations about personal experiences with oppression that would be difficult to hold otherwise; both for those who have been harmed, and those who have done harm. It's not an end-all be-all kind of tool, but it can definitely be helpful.

In the context of marginalized identities, these kinds of spaces can also be a really great way of facilitating community-building, especially where there is a capacity for establishing positive cultural norms in the process (like not tolerating certain kinds of bigotry, especially if you also make space to express, challenge, and unpack bigoted ideas).

Transmascs, as a group, historically struggle to connect with community. Invisibility coupled with the isolating nature of queerness (as a marginalized identity that emerges later in life, and generally not through genetics), and in particular the way transness tends to funnel into a desire to "pass" & further isolates folks by preventing them from even identifying one another, contributes to this naturally. There's also a phenomena in which feminist and queer community spaces tend to be hostile towards anyone they perceive as "masculine", and therefore threatening. This includes transmascs (esp. those who are or have transitioned) and transfems (esp. those who are pre-transition/non-transitioning or butch), along with plenty of other groups (black people especially).

Thus, a transmasc-specific server serves a few purposes:

It acts as a space for transmascs to discuss our unique experiences with lessened anxiety around accidentally phrasing something in a way that does harm to others in the space

It acts as a space for transmascs to challenge one another on bigoted or harmful ideas, which may be better received coming from someone who shares some of those personal experiences- and is often easier given from a person who is not personally hurt by what was said/done.

It acts as a space for transmascs to build community with other transmascs

It establishes positive community norms early in that process, which often carry outside of that space and into others.

Among lots of other things!

Identity affinity groups aren't the end-all be-all; it's important for folks to interact, connect, and build community with people from a diversity of backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. That's how we grow, and it's part of how we make sure the ideas we have about the world include and account for everyone.

Trans experiences have been absent from a huge portion of feminist theory; earlier theory especially. That- and the exclusion of black & brown experiences- is how we got radfeminism. Also known as second wave feminism, which preceded the inclusion of intersectionality that defined the third wave.

Transmasc experiences have been absent from a huge portion of trans theory; this isn't a conspiracy or anything, it's something Julia Serano acknowledges in the opening pages of Whipping Girl (even though she also goes on to make assumptions about experiences not her own anyway).

My opinion is that community-building is an essential step in promoting the inclusion of transmasc perspectives on a larger scale: it gives transmascs a space to identify patterns in their experiences. We can then take our observations into diverse communities, where we can identify similarities and differences in how others are treated, learn from one another, and cultivate a more complete understanding of oppression across all demographics.

Your ask makes me think you're not really interested in all of this- and you were instead just looking to make me feel or look bad (or perhaps just make yourself feel good)- but maybe I'm wrong! I would love to be wrong. Or maybe someone else will learn from this instead.

[pirateshelly]

One thing that really fascinates me about interview with the vampire (the show) is this sort of tension between power and powerlessness in all of the characters. Because it doesn't present becoming a vampire as something that just gives you power and magically makes you completely detached from all human concerns and struggles.

And that seems to be something Lestat does very much want to believe, and he's in enough of a position of privilege that he's able to convince himself it's true, and it's a fundamental area where he just cannot understand Louis because Louis CAN'T pretend even if he wants to. (And of course Lestat cannot ACTUALLY separate himself from "human troubles" the way he likes to think he can, he just has an easier time pretending than most). Because as much as becoming a vampire grants these characters supernatural power it doesn't just magically take away the very tangible human ways that they were previously vulnerable or powerless.

Becoming a vampire doesn't negate Louis' struggles with racism; in some ways it amplifies them with how he is alienated from his own family and community; his closest connection becomes Lestat. He loses his economic independence and becomes socially dependent on Lestat in a way he wasn't to anyone as a human because in some ways becoming a vampire made him MORE vulnerable, despite granting him physical strength/speed/etc. The promise of freedom in vampirism Lestat presents to Louis (that I do think he does genuinely mean, but "freedom" means very different things to Louis than it does to Lestat) is never fulfilled.

Likewise Claudia learns the hard way with Bruce and later with the coven that she may be a vampire but the world still looks at her and sees a vulnerable young black girl and that will always put her in danger.

Claudia rescues Madeleine then turns her into a vampire, but rather than protect her from future harm the "crime" of turning her becomes the very thing that gets her killed by yet another angry mob.

And 514 years as a vampire will never be enough for Armand to truly trust or believe in his own power. Because the first 200 or so years of his life he was literally never once allowed any agency at all over his own identity or his own body (child slave sold to a brothel, sold to an abusive master, captured and violently indoctrinated into a vampire cult for centuries). No amount of material strength and power is going to undo the psychological effects of that. (And I know some people like to read his frequently passive demeanor as simply manipulation and a way of catching people off guard (because how could someone so old and powerful possibly feel a genuine sense of fear/vulnerability/etc 🙄) but to me that's an incredibly disingenuous reading of him. But that's a different rant for another time!). Being a vampire does not save him from being horrifically abused, nor does it save him from the lasting emotional effects of that abuse.

And I think there's something interesting to be said about the way that, in order to survive safely, they have to feed on the most vulnerable members of society (people undesirable and therefore least likely to arouse suspicion) in order to go unnoticed. If they want to live they have to prey on those vulnerable in possibly the same ways they themselves once were (and in many ways still are).

There's a frequent argument I dislike that we shouldn't be viewing any of these characters through too human of a lense because they're literal monsters (to be honest it's an argument I see most often made when people simply don't want to talk about the show's complex depiction of racism/misogyny/abuse/etc and used to dismiss those as issues "too human" to be relevant to a story about a bunch of monsters with a supposedly alien sense of morality), but I think the show itself makes a huge argument that for these characters there is no escaping or separating themselves from the very human struggles and vulnerabilities that marked them before they ever became vampires. It's like a sort deconstructed power fantasy.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume Meta 811 - Holy Mother of God

Well I don’t know how coherent this will be after that episode - but I’m gonna give it a go becasue there was so much good stuff to talk about with Bucks costuming this week. Sadly no Eddie to talk about though - he’s busy in El Paso trying to settle in and I’m sure we’ll have lots of things to talk about with him next week. I should also warn you - I will be talking about Tommys costumes as well - because they are relevant - but I don’t want to jump scare you when you come across pictures of him!

Do kind of love that I get to do a full character deep dive into Buck because there’s no Eddie this week? You bet I do - especially with the parallels we get in this episode. As always - below the cut!

Starting with Buck’s first outfit - his moving into Eddie’s house clothes - White Elwood hoodie, black pants, grey adidas trainers and his usual watch.

Buck is wearing the grey adidas trainers for his move into Eddies house - carrying on the theme from the end of the last episode and really connecting them into the Buck-Eddie of it all. We don’t see them again in the episode - but I’m not surprised by that - because the rest of the episode is about Buck navigating his new reality and whilst Eddie is heavily present in nearly all those scenes, its not about him or him and Buck as a unit, it’s about Buck and about Bucks feelings - and so we get the white trainers in the scenes where we do see them visible!

White is never good sign for Buck as it portends struggles and angst - having him open the episode wearing white clearly indicates what the episode is going to bring for him. There is also the fact that white signifies new beginnings or blank pages and is also a symbol of clarity (especially mental clarity) and goodness (in opposition to darkness/evil which is black), hope, and innocence. This hoodie is not the only time we see Buck wearing white in this episode as we also see him wearing white later at Maddies house, so I’ll go into what I think the white of it all is for a little bit later when I get to that costume!

This white hoodie is by Elwood - a brand the show has been using for Bucks costumes for a couple of seasons now - particularly for his baggy fit clothes as it tends to be a style choice of the brand. The logo on the back is about connecting Buck to LA - tying him to a location - we also get Maddie in 2 costumes tying her to LA in this episode as well. I think this is very intentional and it’s about emphasising that they have put their roots down in LA - that it is their home (even if Buck is renting!) and I think they have done this to really bring home the fact Eddie has left for El Paso and Buck has to stay in LA because all of the scenes we see these sweaters with the LA logos on, they are scenes about the gap Eddie has left - Buck moving in to Eddies house, Buck not feeling comfortable in that space without Eddie there and so going to Maddie, Buck talking to Maddie about the hole in his life Eddies departure has left - that he misses him.

It’s about establishing the necessity of that separation - for them to separately learn to love themselves so that they can then love each other once they reach that point - especially with the use of an eagle in flight logo as part of Bucks hoodie is an interesting choice to me - birds are a representation of flight - of freedom and of getting a different perspective on things. Eagles specifically are meant to represent good fortune, strength, resilience, power and wisdom and protection and they are also a symbol of Jesus’ resurrection and therefore renewal. (Its also worth noting that bird is another way of describing a helicopter which feels kind of relevant knowing that we’re getting a big helicopter presence in 814/15 and the fact that one can argue that Buddie has been kicked into action via a helicopter)

Also - remember the use of red as I will come back to that colour later on!

Then we have Buck rocking up at the Madney house asking to stay the night in a dark, almost black denim jacket, a greenish grey tee and a bag with a yellow ochre strap.

Firstly the scene is a repeat of the scene from 210 where Buck, having finally moved out of Abbys, winds up on Maddies dining room floor on and air mattress after outstaying his welcome at Chimney’s! Even the colours are the same - green, yellow ochre and black - as you can see below. This parallel is intentional and it is all about Buck being in this period of flux when a dramatic change has happened to his life. I find it a really interesting parallel to draw not only because it’s about Buck moving on to a new phase of his life but also because in combination with the grey hoodie we see him in shortly it gives us a parallel to the Buck and Taylor hook up from season two.

The other thing about this costume tht is key is the greyish green tee, because we see this same tee later in the episode and this grey and green or greyish green colouring is something have been seeing on buck across the last episode and this one and is actually a developing theme for him this season as a whole - we’ve seen buck in khaki greens, greenish greys, or greyish and green in combination multiple times. In 804 he is wearing a greenish grey jacket at the hearing about the 118 being closed down, in 806 we have the khaki green trousers he wears on his date with Tommy and in 810 we have the grey tee and same khaki green trousers when Eddie leaves for El Paso. We also have a lot more green on Buck across seasons 7 and 8 than we’ve had on him in all the other seasons combined. We get the darker and more bottle green colour on him in 705 - the gym conversation with Eddie when he is trying to come out to him. In 707 he is wearing a bottle green shirt when Eddie drops Chris off before going on his date, and in 806 we see him in this darker green during the break up with Tommy and in the subsequent scene at Eddie’s house on the couch.

I go on about green being a colour of growth and renewal, balance and harmony, but also greed, envy, and jealousy. Or how it is a colour associated with blending in - hiding in plain sight (hence its use by the army) making it a colour associated with safety. The thing with green and Buck in these last two seasons is about when the different versions of green are being used. The bolder - darker bottle greens are seen in scenes connected to secrets or more accurately scenes where a character is not being fully honest - with another character and or with themselves - 806 is Eddie not being fully honest with either himself or Buck, while the 705 and 806 scenes are Buck not being honest with Eddie and with Tommy respectively and the also Buck not being honest with himself. To what degree Buck is not being honest with himself is up to you to determine at this point in time, but my personal opinion is that its two fold - there is the conscious not being honest and the unconscious or subconscious (or unknown) not being honest with themselves at play in all these scenes.

As for the khaki greens and the greyish greens - we have scenes connected to battles - internal and external - the battle to Save the 118 in 804, Bucks battle with his bisexuality (in terms of fully knowing himself and understanding himself not with actually being bisexual) and those same trousers in 810 are about Bucks battle with letting his best friend leave him. In all These scenes we see Buck trying to blend in - trying to be what he needs to be to various people in that moment - the girls asking for a photo, Tommy, the rest of the 118, Eddie. All of the scenes are Buck hinging his true self in plain sight whilst at the same time they are scenes about jealousy (not always Bucks) and present an opportunity for growth.

The green shirt here and in the later scene at the bar in this episode also play into this idea of hiding in plain sight and safety and also jealousy and internal battles. Turning up at Maddies is as a result of a battle Buck has been having with himself over his new house and it not feeling like home because eddie is very present in every corner - its him looking for safety, while at the bar Buck is battling to get over Eddie leaving, his attempts to befriend Ravi are about him trying to blend in and then we also see jealousy at play to some extent during the scenes with Tommy.

Then we have the light grey marl hoodie - which as you can see from the picture is the same one from the billy boils scene back in 805. It’s about paralleling the feeling of abandonment by the people closest to you. The 805 scene of Buck Deep Diving on substack, about Billy boils really comes into play here in 811. This show is really good at Platine seeds for things that will come back up later on in the season, or even further down the line. In 805 the Billy boils arc serves more as a reflection on Buck going above and beyond when things connect into his personality - as we saw with Red back in Season 3. But now we‘re getting both that concept in play here (buck going above and beyond for Eddie by taking over his lease) as well as Bucks feelings and fears of abandonment which have been majorly stoked by both Maddie going missing and by Eddie leaving.

We also have the two watches again - which is making my brain itch with the possible meanings - I should point out that it appears to be two new watches - not his usual watch that we’ve seen him in for a while - one looks like a retro 1980’s style digital screen watch and the other looks like a smart watch. I know we’ve got bts pictures of him with them on whilst in his street clothes, but it is possible he’s just not fully in costume at that moment (especially because in other bts with him out of costume he is not wearing them!) there’s something about the fact that we’re only seeing them like this in certain scenes and not in others. It is entirely possible that Oliver is having to wear a monitor of some kind for some reason - but this doesn’t feel like that - because he is not wearing them in most scenes - its only certain ones - and by this I don’t mean the scenes where his arms are bare - I mean scenes where he has long sleeves on - like under the red jacket later in this episode - when he isn’t wearing any watches at all etc.

There is also the fact that its not just a second watch but that both of them are different - if it was Oliver needing to wear a monitor for some reason, there is no reason why he couldn’t still wear his character watch on the other wrist. The wardrobe department wouldn’t be so lax in catching this sort of thing - actors generally speaking will take off all personal belongings and leave them locked in their trailer when they put costumes on, and part of the costume delivery would include their characters ‘jewellery’ - which would be locked away at the end of the shooting day because a lot of it is very high value (Eddies new watch is over $1k for example) - making it less likely that its just Oliver suddenly forgetting to change his personal watches for his character one(s). So it’s something I am keeping an eye on and tracking to see if I can figure it out what is going on! Right now it feels like it’s some kind of play on Buck existing in two places - in two time zones or that there are two different ‘countdowns’ running in his life right now. We’ll just have to watch and see what is going on with the watches!

It’s also worth pointing out here that the jeans are back! We see them several times during the episode and their first appearance is in this scene at Madney’s house.

We have a red and brown check jacket and also have a cream tee and jeans in this scene. Where everything else has been looser in fit and all about comfort (hoodie) up to now in this episode, here we have a combination of fits going on which really plays into this idea of confusion and BUck not really being comfortable within himself. The kacket is well fitting but intentionally slightly short waisted making the tee look too long, even though it too is a good fit on Buck. The jeans are loose fit and slightly baggy, but again do actually fit him. Each article of clothing on its own is a good fit for buck, however in combination they don‘t fit him because they are ‘fighting‘ with each other. This fits with Bucks attempt to make friends with Ravi - its not a good fit because Buck is trying to force something as quickly as possible to fill the void in his life - rather than allowing a friendship to develop more naturally - or taking Ravi’s hints that he isn’t really interested in being friends with Buck, this also ties into the jacket being check patterned, signifying that there is some form of trouble ahead for Buck - his pushing Ravi to go out leads to this jacket being followed by the orangey brown check jacket we see Buck in the next time we see him.

But we’re going to divert for a moment and talk about the colour red for a second. I already mentioned the red on the white hoodie, but we also see Buck up on the ladder rescuing the woman on the cross surrounded by red -we have the red harness he has looked around him and the top of the ladder is also red - which serves to ensure he is surrounded by the colour as you can see in the picture below.

We also see red flowers in the scene Buck and Maddie share in the kitchen later on in this episode. These flowers are an interesting combination and while we see flowers a lot in the background of the Madney house (and in other houses) their placement in this scene - between Buck and Maddie and drawing attention when they’re in shot is what makes them important in the same way the sunflower and ‘wedding’ bouquets were in 809. From what I can tell (because it was really hard to get an in focus screen grab of the flowers so I’m not 100%) we have a combination of red roses, red gardenia’s , red gerbera’s and what looks to me to be two varieties of Pom Pom daisies - the white with red tips and the solid red with a white centre. All of these flowers have meanings associated with love, innocence (except the red roses), new beginnings or prosperity and success. The daisy is also a symbol of motherhood and fertility so that is obviously a nod to Maddies pregnancy - because the flowers work for both Maddie and Bucks respective storylines.

Back to costumes, and buck wearing red - not something that common with him - in fact he only wears red 6 times across all 8 seasons and it’s 50/50 split on if its check or not and the check seems to connect into Buck himself only, while the solid red seems to be more about something external to Buck that connects into him as well.

We have him in red in 102 at the therapists office which is the most important of all the red costumes in relation to tonight’s episode, because it connects into the parallels the show was drawing between the rollercoaster incident from season 1 and the woman on the cross. I wrote in a post before the episode aired that I thought we were getting a rollercoaster parallel and that I thought that if we did, we would also get a parallel to Buck sleeping with this therapist. And we did indeed get that parallel, with the woman on the cross being Devon in 102 and Tommy in the place of the therapist (and before you come at me for comparing Tommy to a woman who essentially r*ped Buck, it is not about the plot device character or their motivations, its about the fact Buck is in an emotionally vulnerable place and is therefore not thinking clearly - it is about him and not them!) and that parallel is about setting Buck up for making progress with his issues - and reflecting the fact that he makes bad choices when emotionally compromised in some way. we get the rollercoaster - therapist parallel also make an appearance in season 5 - with Lucy - yes it is technically in reverse to these other two because the rollercoaster incident isn’t brought up until after the bad choice (kissing Lucy - which is also connected by Buck getting drunk on tequila/margaritas!) but the parallel is still their - Eddie has left he 118 and had his breakdown and Buck is struggling with all of that - with having to work with someone who isn’t Eddie and is also in a relationship that isn’t actually bringing him much in the way of happiness etc.

I do think it funny that they have drawn tommy into these parallels when both the s1 and s5 occurrences are about Buck seeking emotional intimacy through sex in some form and that the Lucy incident especially is about Eddie and Buck kissing Eddie’s replacement - with Tommy basically being Eddie’s replacement because Buck hasn’t allowed himself to consider Eddie as an actual option.

The next time we see Buck in. Red is 409 - when he is meeting Jee-Yun via video chat wearing a solid red knit sweater

Then we have 513 and Eddies breakdown

Followed by 518 and Bucks chat to Maddie about looking for love

Then we have another jump to 805 and Bucks check cowboy shirt

And now 811 in the locker room.

Hopefully you can tell that all the red check shirts tie into Buck and his abandonment issues, while all the solid red costumes are more external to Buck.

The green tee and brown check jacket from the bar I have already spoken about my thoughts on this outfit in my pre show meta when the stills dropped - you can read those here, and on the whole I was right about what we would see from this costume and the implied meanings - we did indeed see buck in a less than fun situation, but one that did set him up for growth. How the orangey brown played into the idea of transformation, superficiality and predictable and conservative as well as into the idea of loneliness and isolation. While the break up green gave us the start of bt break up 2.0 electric boogaloo - where Buck hooking up with Tommy actually gives him some form of closure on that relationship as his outburst the morning after actually reveals a fair amount about his feelings (the Eddie of it all aside) - Buck even says later to Maddie that he was using Tommy as a distraction - that it wasn’t because he genuinely had feelings for him etc.

The other thing about this costume is the lack of watch whilst at the bar, but he is wearing one later on when he’s stumbling down the corridor to the bedroom with Tommy as you can see below. The entire time at the bar its Eddie, Eddie, Eddie and his greatest hits - its past tense not present or future, and Buck stopped wearing a watch as Eddie was leaving - so the lack of watch here in this scene is part of that - Buck feeling like time has run out on that aspect of his life. But as soon as the costume becomes about Buck in the here and now and the seeking of a distraction - the watch is back on his wrist!

Then we get jump to the morning after when he is still wearing that watch - and when you think that he’s wearing different clothes to the ones from the night before - he’s clearly got dressed after the hook up before falling asleep - at which point one would expect a watch to be taken off, but hasn’t - clearly showing that time is a key element of things in this scene.

We have him in a cut off tee in greenish grey - similar to the one when Eddie departs for El Paso, grey black joggers and black socks. I am especially loving the fact that the tee matches up with his bed linen - especially the pillow he has not slept on - as you can see in the above picture they are nearly an identical match -a more green toned grey, while his own pillow and the sheet, are more grey in the brown spectrum. It’s funny because they’ve done this with Buck before - putting him in a grey shirt and having him fall asleep on his bed in s6 during the sperm donor arc (when they panned across to the firefighter onesie) - blending him into his bedding seem to be something of a theme - I’ve just not quite pieced together what exactly it is yet but it is making me wonder if my suspicions are right and the sperm donor arc is going to come back up in some form!

The cut off is part of a theme we’re seeing emerge with Buck - the distressed look to his clothes in 809, 810 and now 811 is a deliberate choice being made - it ties back into the therapist office scene in 102 - you can see in the picture above the distressed jeans he’s wearing revealing his internal distress. It’s all about visually signalling the character is distressed or feeling raw - emotionally and is in keeping with the fact it seems we’re going to be getting Buck in turnouts that look pretty distressed etc in upcoming episodes - it feels like its slowly escalating and is signalling some kind of breakdown for him - that he will reach a breaking point where he is actually going to have to face up to a few things (making the mini theory that that breakdown might tie into the episode called sick day - with Buck’s sickness being more of a mental one than a physical illness - the like of which many or may not take out the rest of the 118 in some way!). The fact we’re seeing his ‘mask’ slip more and more dramatically as he loses the control he has had on things - and the fact this scene parallels a couple of other scenes is what I’m excited about - the therapist scene from s1 - which was paralleled here on multiple levels including the costume - the distressed frayed look - we see Buck wearing distressed clothing in that scene from s1 - Buck is also wearing red check in that scene and that ties the red check from earlier into things - because it is not something Buck wears - literally there are only 3 times - therapist scene, cowboy buck at the firehouse in masks and the one from this episode.

Appologies - but we need to talk about Tommy - because putting him in the exact same outfit as the break up scene from 806 is a very loud choice and I genuinely cackled when I saw!

When I say exact same, the shirt is technically a different shirt, but it is a black linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up and it is doing the same thing as the first one, and continues the theme of black shirts being Tommys dominant costume (literally most of his costumes!) - we see him in maroon occasionally and the blue & grey combo of the basketball game, but otherwise he wears black shirts - especially in scenes where Eddie is present and taking up most of Bucks attention!!! The thing that makes this occurance of a black shirt a parallel to the 806 breakup scene is the dark grey singlet underneath - which is the exact same one.

This allows us to connect the two scenes and makes it clear this latest scene is just an extension of the break up scene - a continuation and one where Buck gets some closure over that relationship - even if it doesn’t feel like it initially! It also shows that Tommy is unchanged - that he‘s not grown in any way that while Buck is in a different place (the change from break up green into the grey tee is a visual indicator of that - Buck thought he was in the same place as when Tommy dumped him, but he wakes up metaphorically and literally in a different place), Tommy isn’t - its a clear indicator that the relationship can never work. It helps to connect what he said in 806 with what is said in 812 - connecting the‚ you wouldn’t mean to, but you‘d end up breaking my heart’ with ‘the competition being out of the way’ but mostly with Bucks line about not sleeping with people he’s in love with and not being in love with people he’s does sleep with. The entire scene is about Eddie and about proving both the break up scene in 806 and the Josh advice scene correct.

White tee buck and his black denim apron of baking spirals - Buck clearly has a collection of aprons and we’ve seen various ones depending on the scene and what it needs to convey but this black one has made a couple of appearances now - including in the baking scene with Jee (you can see it in a picture further down this post) its further emphasising baking as a coping mechanism, but it also creates a black and white look on Buck - when everything around him is in colour. The black and white colour theming is literally about showing us the black and white of it all - its telling us that everything we need to know is right there in black and white - Buck bringing up Eddies straightness and being the one to bring up pining and being in love - that the reality is he is in denial.

Obviously there is also the Buck in white of it all - which is evidence enough for me that what Buck is saying in this scene is meant to be read as not being reality him his deepest self - that Buck is in fact in love and pining after his best friend (but he can’t actually look at that fact - Eddie being straight is Bucks last defence and one he needs to hold for his own sanity - Eddie has left - there is nothing to be gained by Buck examining the reality of his feelings except heartbreak) and that is the thing that will lead to some kind of issue for him

Brown fridge in background continuing to play into the brown colour theme we;re seeing for the season

I do want to take a small detour into blue/yellow colour theory for a minute - because it is there and it is loud in this episode!

We have the blue yellow combination appearing on Maddie as she as Buck talk on the couch at the Madney house, and also the fridge magnets behind Buck in the kitchen scene (as you can partially see above).

We also have the blue mattress (again see picture above),

and Ravi is in blue.

The lighting in that scene is very yellow - until Tommy turns up and Ravi leaves - when it gradually cools down to more white lighting - as you can sort of see see in the two pictures below - its actually clearer if you watch the scene through!

Finally we have this light pinky brown tee - which from a colour theory perspective and a paralleling perspective is interesting - more or less the same colour as the baking hoodie and is in keeping with the brown theme of the season as a whole (especially because he ends up by sitting on his orangey couch!) white trainers. This brown/pink colour seems to be about coping mechanisms and finding a way to find joy - the pinkish tone connects into that theme of innocence vulnerability and joy combined with the idea of being grounded and stable whilst also playing into that idea of loneliness and isolation I spoke about earlier - its about Buck finding his feet - finding stable ground in his being alone - its about embracing loneliness and finding joy in it.

That to me is a really loud indicator of where they are going with Buck by showing him in that colour whilst he is unpacking his things in the house that used to be Eddies - after having him explicitly say that a big part of the reason he hasn’t unpacked is because it means Eddie and Chris won’t be coming back. Its about Buck reframing that feeling and being ok with it - using that and the loneliness that brings as the stable ground from which to find joy and rebuild himself. Its the first stage of Bucks path towards working to deal with his abandonment issues (I am not saying it will be smooth sailing from here - in fact I fully expect for things to get much worse for him on that road!)

In the same way as the baking hoodie was also about Buck finding coping mechanisms and some form of stable ground to work from in his loneliness - the change from hoodie to Tee suggests progression.

And there we have it - the many costumes and colours of Buck for this episode - I hope you found it interesting and thanks for reading - it always means the world to me that people read and engage in these long meta posts 🥰🥰🥰

As always - tagged people below and let me know if you’d like adding to the list!

@lover-of-mine @spotsandsocks @fruityfirehose @wanderingwomanwondering @livingwherethesidewalkends @buddiediaz118 @bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @satvojihusana @elvensorceress @icebergeddie @buckleyanddiaz @eddiedisasterdiaz @kejfeblintz @cookie-kat777 @leothil @bucksbelly @kyoteugly @bi-moonlight @somebodycall911onabc @trudayss @chaosandwolves @lemotmo

[gumbootillustrations]

UGH I FUCKING FINALLY FINISHED THIS

so yeah, have the divine warriors of the second war of the magi!!

more deets n closeups under the cut :3

aph!! i like to think that although the incarnations of the divine warriors r generally pretty similar, they do have some minor differences. for example, whereas the matron of the first war of the magi (irene) had one of the sets of wings on her head covering her eyes, the matron of the second war (mcd!aphmau) has both of them held back. this is bc whereas irene had lost her humanity (and therefore the ability to connect with mortals), aph hasn't - and, therefore, her eyes are open to the struggles of humanity. additionally, i took a lot of inspiration from honkai impact 3rd for these designs - in aph's case, i was inspired by elysia's herrscher of human: ego battlesuit and how it looks like a wedding dress (which a lot of folks have interpreted as an expression of her love for humanity, which is smth i want to convey w aph).

i think my favourite part of aaron's destroyer form is his seal (the thingy behind his head like a halo). i wanted to rlly play into the whole destroyer/devourer aspect of his abilities and domains, and i thought a black hole would fit perfectly! it also sort of (unintentionally) plays into how i see the dynamic between the matron and the destroyer and how they're both mirrors of each other; whereas the destroyer, well, destroys (and his black hole devours everything in sight), the matron creates and nurtures (seen in how aph's seal is almost like a white hole). i also wanted his armour to look a lot like the armour that shadow knights wear, albeit without all the spikes and spines and whatnot given that he isn't a shadow knight himself (shad's destroyer form from the first war probably looks a lot more similar to traditional shadow knight armour).

i'm lowkey suuper proud of how travis's keeper form turned out (even if i had to go back right at the end n fix it bc i forgot to add his tail 😭). i wanted this form to sort of be a mix between a high mage and a rogue: whereas the keeper embodies knowledge and magick, travis himself is a prankster who relies on cunning and trickery to gain the upper hand on his opponents. as a result, he's the only one who doesn't automatically manifest a weapon when he shifts into this form - instead, i feel like he chooses to rely more on magicks and witchcraft during combat.

katelyn's design was lowkey the hardest to pin down. originally, i wanted to go for something that was suuuper inspired by roman armour and had a copper and teal/turquoise colour scheme, but it wound up feeling too magical girl-ish and i scrapped it. i've retained the roman inspirations, but i headcanon that her flames are so hot they burn blue, so i settled on a blue-and-white colour scheme w some purple elements. i think my favourite part is her gauntlets! i feel like she uses them as an extension of herself/another pair of hands to punch with. the blue elements also lean into menphia's association with the moon - in ashes, ashes, tu'la is based on the roman empire and, as a result, is where werewolves originate from, and with werewolves having such close ties to the moon.... yeah. i'll probably do a post on tu'la later on at some point.

my blorbo

garroth's design is probably the one that's changed the least, but i'll still need to update his ref sheet anyway. i don't know if i conveyed it very well but the sort-of wing-things on his back are slabs of earth that can be shaped into a shield - originally i had him holding a shield but i wanted him to look a bit more divine warrior-ish so i retooled his design.

the boy! i was tossing up between having vylad or dante fill the role of the wanderer, but i settled on dante as i feel like vylad fits better as a sort of weird guide sort of figure within the narrative. plus, i have a real soft spot for dante and wanted him to remain in the limelight a little bit - i love his dynamic with garroth and laurance and i wanted to explore that further. i sort of wanted to play into his whole red-and-blue colour scheme that we see in canon diaries, but bc kul'zak is a nature deity (specifically of the wilderness), i wanted to incorporate some greenery into his design. i hope i've done an okay-ish job here - overall i'm pretty happy tho, but i can't promise that there won't be any tweaks in the future.

this is a redhead laurance propaganda spreading blog and i Refuse to apologise for it. i'd like to think that laurance's original colour scheme is similar to his justiciar form - lots of beautiful reds and golds and oranges to match the flames of his father's forge - but after he comes back from the nether with a Severe fear of fire he switches to the greens and browns that he's known for in canon. eventually he slowly begins to reclaim his fire and returns to the golds and oranges that he's introduced with (haha colour symbolism go brrrrrr).

but yeah. the special interest is special interesting. let me know if u have any questions!

[acourtofthought]

@oristian just received an anon that read the following:

The difference between Elriels, Eluciens, and Gwynriels is that Elriels actually like the characters. We like canon Azriel and Elain and don’t need to assign them other characters’ characteristics or rewrite them. We appreciate the way they have been presented, flaws and all. We are invested in their story thanks to canon, not despite it.

Canon Elain does not wear Illyrian leathers.

Canon Elain does not wear a necklace that she returned to Az therefore unless it's fanart depicting Solstice night and only Solstice night, it's not canon.

Canon Elain does not enjoy wielding a dagger.

Canon Elain does not have tattoos.

Canon Az does not train Elain or take her on spy missions. He didn't even want her searching for the Trove. Canon Az got reprimanded by Amren for not believing in Elain.

Canon Az's shadows do not play with Elain, by his own admission in HIS POV they tend to disappear around her.

Canon Az has not thought of a future with Elain beyond his sexual fantasies.

Canon Elain is NOT "Velaris's Princess" which is a wild thing to say since Velaris already has a QUEEN in Feyre.

Canon Elain would not be fine with Az's torture of defenseless people.

Canon Elain likes sunshine and flowers and is bothered by cruelty.

Canon Elain, despite her proclamation that she's part of the NC and would do what is necessary has the life sucked out of her while wearing NC black.

Canon Elain is different from her sisters, as stated in the books and interviews from the author herself.

Canon Elain is NOT described as being Illyrian at heart the way Nesta was.

Canon Elain, despite Nesta's belief that Elain is doing just fine with her friend and hobbies (something Nesta can only assume from afar considering canon Nesta avoided Elain for a year), confirmed that she has trauma that nobody seems to acknowledge.

Canon Az is connected to the Illyrians and the Valkyrie.

Canon Elain is not.

Canon Elain is connected to Vassa and Koschei through her visions.

Canon Az is not connected to either.

Canon Az did not acknowledge the trauma he heard Elain speak of.

Canon Elain did not acknowledge Az's struggles though she's apparently well aware of how Az was bothered by the scent of her bond.

Canon Az avoided Elain for nearly a year though she never asked him to stay away, though he knew she was fighting with Nesta, though he knew she was mourning the loss of her father.

Canon Az showed yearning for Mor while Elain sat in the room with him.

Canon Az felt something spark in his chest at the thought of another female's happiness.

Canon Az never gave his dagger to another female outside of Elain yet made sure Bryce knew what NESTA did with it during the war.

The ONLY thing that Elucien's and Gwynriels fail to adhere to at this point in time in terms of these characters is who their endgame person will be.

It seems we are the only ones who have a fairly good read on their behaviors, who they are, what's important to them, where they would thrive based on how they've been described and who they would best be suited to.

These are books and just because Elain said, "I'm part of this court and will do what is necessary" it doesn't in fact mean that Elain will forevermore be happiest in the NC and has to live there for the remainder of her immortal life simply because of a statement she made in a book prior to her own POV, a statement she made while still processing her trauma. As readers of books, we are fully aware that many times what a character states while processing trauma is not a true reflection of how they feel.

Not when the author placed that single comment on the floor then continued to build onto another pile of bricks next to it.

One brick being Elain needing sunshine.

One brick being "but Elain wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court....it sucked the life from her."

One brick being Elain missing the flowers in winter.

One brick being that the NC doesn't turn to Elain for help.

One brick being that we're told Elain might be acting a certain way so as not to disappoint her sisters.

One brick being that Elain loses her color in winter.

One brick that the rose necklace given to Elain needs light in order for it's true depth to become visible.

One brick being that Elain is a rose bloom in a mud field filled with trampling horses while Nesta in that same Illyrian camp was a newly forged sword.

One brick being that Elain's scent is "a promise of Spring".

One brick being that "but the spring court had been made for someone like her."

One brick being that the author said Elain took she and Lucien by surprise.

One brick being the author telling us that Elain and Lucien (not Az) are both happiest in nature.

Just because Elain doesn't seem to want Lucien right now doesn't mean that won't change in the next book. Just like who Aelin wanted changed drastically over the course of multiple books. As did Chaol, as did Feyre, as did Nesta (since she didn't seem to want Cassian at different points throughout the series) as did Eva, as did Juliette, as did Elizabeth, as did Claire, as did Violet, as did Sophie, as did Francesca, as did Tessa, as did Harry, as did Katniss (and so on).

Only paying attention to the direct quotes from a character or their behavior while dealing with trauma, thinking they know everything they need to know about them before they've even had a POV doesn't prove they know them better. It simply means they're choosing to ignore that Sarah is the kind of author who leaves crumbs for readers, who often writes her FMC actually wanting the thing that she insists she does not, who often writes her FMC avoiding her destiny before finally embracing it.

E/riels don't like canon Elain or Az more than Eluciens and Gwynriels. They like a one dimensional version of the characters where everything said and done could not have any deeper meaning.

"Az wants to eat out Elain and Elain wants to kiss Az which means they want to be together forever!".

Versus:

"Az and Elain wanted to hook up but it's clear they were both in a bad place and probably not in the right headspace, especially as neither was first willing to discuss the struggles they're both having".

This narrative that we don't like canon Elain, Az, or Gwyn is tiresome. The only thing we don't like is shipping Elain with a guy who the author has clearly written been as someone who, despite his and her willingness to hook up months ago on their timeline, wasn't there for her when she was put into the cauldron, wasn't there for her when she was suffering from severe depression (even drawing straws so he didn't have to stay with her), who never offered her a kind word about the death of her father, who avoided HER for an entire year because he couldn't handle a bond that will always exist, who looked at another female with heat and yearning while she sat in the room with them, who never bothered to check on her after any of her fights with Nesta, who couldn't admit to his best friend that he had any real feelings for her and that he wasn't just looking to get laid, and who hadn't thought of a future with her beyond his sexual fantasies.

All canon events.

[1425fivefive]

more than just lore, brocedes power dynamics are pretty unique as well. with nico in his position of unimaginable privilege, his father a world champion and everything that comes with that, set against lewis and his stories of struggle and his blackness, things nico is incapable of understanding fully. keke buying a karting team specifically for the two of them, therefore making lewis reliant on the rosbergs, even broader than that, seeing the rosbergs as lewis's in to the sport and his one true connection to his dreams. and of course, once they reach formula 1, the dichotomy of lewis's near instant success and nico's years and years of work for his championship...

no one compares. no one at all.

YES. it’s genuinely so fascinating, that dichotomy of nico being racing royalty, coming from this wildly privileged background, and lewis being “dependent” on the rosbergs for access to motorsport. the power imbalance as kids and lewis being in this overwhelmingly white sport while nico “belongs” in it due to his family and race and wealth. and then when they start racing in f1 and lewis is just so immensely talented and successful and also with that backdrop of them fantasizing about being teammates and then when it happened it’s what destroyed them… it’s genuinely one of the most compelling narratives to me in the world

[violentdelightshavevioletends]

Tairn taking care of Violet appreciation post:

Because "No rider has ever survived the loss of their dragon. I can’t imagine wanting to." & also "A dragon without its rider is a tragedy"… and Tairn knows; he is the only living being to come close to understanding what Violet is going through… because he lost his rider and that loss nearly killed him.

— It’s why he told her she must survive after her mother died. "You are alive. You will live today. You will wake tomorrow."

— It’s why he reminds her over and over; she is his last rider, this is their life, he won’t lose her to it, he will not live with that. "I chose you not as my next, but as my last, and should you fall, then I will follow."

— It’s why he forces her to breathe. "You will breathe." … He’s the only one that can… Tairn knows. Tairn exists. Tairn makes sure she is not alone, and you hear it in the following quotes… almost like a debate to her inner monologue… actually quite literally that; he is cancelling it out.

Violet is losing her vision: "The sky darkens, and the ground trembles. I look up into the black void, and my vision narrows in an ever-shrinking circle." — Violet sees him instead. "Not the sky. A wing." — Piercing through to her. "Stern, demanding golden eyes appear." — Demanding to be seen.

Violet cannot breathe without her: "It’s gone. A breath later, so is she. A roar vibrates my very bones, and my ears ring as the edges of my vision darken. My heart stutters, and my lungs cease their struggle. There's no air and no reason to seek it. I was infinite yet moored, and now I'm hollow and adrift in waters too vast to comprehend." Tairn uses his power, demands, controls her to breathe and live so this does not kill her: "You will breathe!" His deep, gravelly voice fills my head, and unyielding strength barrels down the pathway that connects us."

Violet is nothing: "I’m nothing." Tairn exists, so she exists, so she cannot be nothing: "He exists, therefore I must, because we are bound. Never alone. Always connected."

Violet says: "She left us. She left us. She left us. It's all I can think." — Tairn interjects, reminds, demands her to stay and remember that & that not everyone left: "We remain," Tairn orders, as if I have a choice not to."

"Andarna is gone. But I’m never alone." — he never lets her be alone. Not for one moment… It’s why it changes from “left” from that abandonment, and a vague “she” summary, to “Andarna” and “gone”, it now sounds less like everyone and a summary of every loss (even if this one hurts more than any).

"Tairn leaves our bond wide open, giving me unfettered access to him in a way l've never had. He's always been with me, but now I'm with him, too. I hear his side of the conversation when he tells the elders about Andarna's departure. I hear him bickering with Sgaeyl over what he calls her excessive hovering, and I'm privy to the lecture he gives Xaden about making sure I eat." — he lets her in like no one else or any dragon rule (I imagine at least) would allow. Even letting her see him coddling, scolding, caring, protecting; making sure she eats. Being whatever she needs to keep breathing… and she is breathing.

"I exist for Tairn, but I live for Xaden." — and he doesn’t care what it takes, even with his current disdain for Xaden; if it keeps her alive he doesn’t care. "The emptiness threatens to overwhelm me again, — he doesn’t let it overwhelm her, he lends her strength (and presumably enough power to also survive it) — but Tairn inundates the bond with a deluge of defiance and indignation. "Focus on now, on him if you have to." — and she does have them to focus on — I still have both of them: Tairn and Xaden."

[nuumbie]

KARMA’S A DOG.

Prompt: You’re a prized worker at the IPC Marketing Department. You spend your days waiting for that flash of black.

Trigger Warning: Reader is mentally ill and a little shit head. Curse Words. General Violent Terms and Reader Gets Ragdolled. Boothill is NOT into you!!! He actually hates you! Guilt! Etc, etc… it’s just all hurt no comfort.

Author’s Note: Written to celebrate his trailer. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. Contains spoilers regarding his character story.

He’s resting peacefully. This should still count as sleep. You pose the question in your head if you replace the pieces of something, how far until the thing is something else entirely. But he’s still alive. You find relish in that. There’s something in him that still lives.

He still has his head. Maybe, that’s all he has left of his old self. You wonder how the surgery must have gone. Of course you’ve met people who’ve changed themselves so drastically with robotics that you couldn’t recognize them after the surgeries. It’s a rebirth in ways. When you change so dramatically that you’re a different person by the end. His body’s 90% metal. 10% flesh. So, wouldn’t it be the cybernetics that win?

Despite everything. You don’t think so. Perhaps, that’s all that he needs. I think therefore I am. There’s no doubt he’s alive. Not to you, anyway. He’s brimming with human life. He’s more alive than you. Not in the same way where the question poses in your mind with other beings or creatures that change themselves so drastically. Boothill is obstinately simple.

You like that. He’s simple. The Hunt and those that follow it is straight forward. A single path. A single road. You like that you don’t have to read his intentions. You know what he wants and why.

Boothill. Galaxy Ranger. IPC Hunter. The Man who just tried to sneak into your office and put a bullet through your head like he has with many of your employees, those who’ve worked directly under you no less. You know. Most criminals don’t get this far. Not far at all past Pier Point. Oswaldo will have a riot.

If he knew he would. You’re not going to tell him.

Boothill is special.

The cowboy opens his eyes. Your personal grim reaper.

“I see you’re awake.” You smile in a loving way. If you can even manage that. People who can control their expressions make it seem so easy. Laying across his chest. You’ve opened up his core to play with his inner circuits. He must not like that though considering there’s a burning hatred in his eyes which threatens to scorch you. You glance up towards his face and sigh and ignoring the lingering, simmering, resentment. His body is heating up beneath your touch. So, maybe it resonates with his feelings, you wonder if his body steams. “We need to stop meeting like this. You’re going to make me think you’re obsessed with me.”

It’s the opposite way around. You know that. But the very idea that it isn’t causes him to lunge at you. The cowboy turns into nothing more than a blur, all the wires connected to the body collecting samples that took at least a good thirty minutes pulled from him. Some ripped from the walls, and in instants he’s on you.

“You dang—“ his hands make its way to your shoulders, you’re flipped without hesitation. his hands grasping you down, he lays on top of you. breath heavy. robots don’t breathe, though, so you try to think of another word as he catches himself and tries to make it so he’s the one on top. “— you again!?”

“I’ve been meaning to get my hands on you… you oughta’… you ANGEL!” He screeches. Music to your ears as he shakes you more like you’re more ragdoll than person. “AEONS, it’s so freaking annoying! You absolute delight! How did I lose to…”

“Thank you so much for the compliment.” You smile back. Probably the only one getting anything out of this arrangement. Pinned against the floor hand pressed tightly against your waist so you can’t struggle. He should’ve pressed it against your mouth. But it isn’t like you’re going to scream. You’re certain. Lots of women would love to be in this position you’re currently in. But it’s you. And this is far from some sweet, pure, little romantic story. You’re not delusional. You act like you are purely because it annoys him. It’s good for him to build up his rage, his discontentment because it keeps him on his toes. “I was just looking over your upgrades since the last time you invaded Pier Point. As for asking how I beat you~…”

“The electronic upgrade was not the best idea.” You smile. “If we can control your language… your body isn’t hard especially for a renowned genius like me. Have to talk to your doctor about that. You’re lucky I’m the one that found you. Where’s my thanks? If it was anyone else. They’d have torn you asunder.”

“Aeons of COURSE you Market-Phonies have something to annoy the DANGNATION out of me.” he grinds his teeth, looking around for his pistol. making a point about how dead he wants you. you can feel his grip loosen and tighten. he’s likely processing which one would get you to be quieter. “Where’d you put it? My gun. I’ve decided. I’m killing you now. Puttin’ ya out of your misery, sweet-face! You think this is rough? Think of a 9mm lead in your skull will be?”

“Cabinet.” You put on your best smile. “Is it for me?”

“Of course for you. Love you.” You didn’t take away his ability to say hate. So, he must have said something worse like an insult. You just know it’s bad because he says it in a way that’s so vitriolic it almost hurts. “You knew this was coming. I’m not going to miss my shot again. You should’ve killed me when you had the chance.”

You did know it was coming. You wished he would get the one person above you first so you could witness your boss with his brains blown out, the outcries that an Emanator of Qlipoth killed. You could have gotten wine with Diamond and laughed about it and died happy knowing the world was washed clean forever of Oswaldo Schneider.

But you can’t be so lucky. You’ll have to wish him luck. If he actually manages to kill you that is. With how things are going? You’re not making it hard.

He grabs you by the neck so you can’t struggle away to call help. The iron hands encased over your neck like a shackle isn’t a bad feeling. You almost quote as such so he might grab you a little tighter. Sadly, it seems his finger is directly over your windpipe— making talking an impossibility. He really doesn’t want you to run. Not like you would. Dragging you as he goes towards the cabinet. He presses you against the wall one-handed.

Using his other hand to peruse through your belongings. Even if you struggled. You doubt you could make a dent against the material. You’ve always been more of a pen instead of a sword guy.

It seems he’s smarter than you thought. Since, he checks the bullets in the gun. Rather show-offishly, too. He clicks the trigger against your head and nothing comes out. He counts them out, too. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

You already knew that none of the shots would ring. But here’s a certain heart-pounding feeling even if you know it’s empty. He clutches the gun even tighter till it threatens to break between his metal appendages.

Obviously, you’ve cleaned them out. He glares at you. Of course you’re the one at fault. Of course you were smart enough to know the first thing he’d do when he woke up was try to kill you. Of course you wanted to see the look on his face when he got his gun back when he realized it was empty. “Don’t you have spares? You eat them, don’t you? Just shit them out.” You smile. It’s hard to talk with his hand on your throat.

The floor hits you. Hard.

Or maybe you hit the floor.

Either way. It hurts. Your head spins. But, you collect yourself. Maybe. Dizzy people often can’t tell they’re dizzy. “You going to kill me right? You don’t need a gun to do that. To make it painful. To get your little revenge.” You’re sputtering. Aeons. It be embarrassing if you didn’t say that. If you’re slurring. Though who are you to ask for a clean death? Innocent have died in uglier ways.

“I don’t get you.” Boothil’s boot presses against your chest and juts against your lungs— “make up your mind you wanna die or not? You’re seriously flip-flopping.”

You smile back at him from the floor. “I’d rather my employees not go down with me when you’ve got to escape. Jeremy just got a promotion. You won’t die here… will you space cowboy? So, you’ll have to make your way out.”

“Might as well limit the casualties.”

“You took everything from me.” Robots don’t stumble over their words. Robots are more precise. Everything about him is human. The way he’s so sentimental, emotional at your lap, while you can do nothing but watch. “What right do you have? You have way more blood on your hands than I do.”

“You’re not wrong.” you repeat, quietly. “It’s karma. It’s justice. I’m so happy you exist. So people like me get that just-dessert.”

“I could never ever dream of it. I could never do it with my own hands.” You smile remembering where you work. Your boss. The things you never had the confidence or strength to do yourself. “So I’m glad that you did. Thank you.”

He looks down at you.

He steps back.

You already know.

Too self-aware for your own good.

Maybe you should have shut up. You already know you’ve messed it all up. The way he looks at you is a look of disgust.

“Everyone here’s so fluffed up.” he grimaces. rubbing his shoe against the floor like he’s snuffing a cigarette out. so lowly. “Anyone the IPC touches get’s gosh-dang ruined.”

You know why he did. You ruined his life. You did. So, it was only fair he did the same in return—

Reaching out— before you realize it. “Hey, wait.”

“You’re not dragging me down with you! I want you to pay I’m not letting you off easy. When we meet again. I’ll have changed this place forever. And you’ll be forced to live with yourself…!”

He doesn’t even look back at you. You wish he did.

He lets you go and he runs out the door. You hear the sounds of loud screams. Shooting guns. It turns into a blur after a few seconds. They’re going to fail to apprehend him. You hope.

On the messy floor. Your lab a wreak. You’re sure. They’ll come here. They’ll question you.

And your life will continue as always.

You’ll lie. Jade can tell. But she won’t tell on you. You hope Oswaldo doesn’t notice. He’s the tricker. If he knew. He’d laugh.

“Fuck you, too.”

You put your hands over your eyes and you just ignore everything until someone comes and gets you. You’d use the word save. But, that’s what he was meant to do.

You’ll meet him again. You can wait. It’s all you ever do.

[guided-by-the-skies]

Black Moon Lilith IN GUYS

Why this post on black moon lilith in guys? Black moon lilith is often described as the inner 'bad b*tch' but how does this translate to male energy? The info on this point in the sky is often female centric and therefore it's role in male charts is overlooked. These are a mixed bag designed to help you get more in touch with it in this context, either in your own chart or that of someone you know. Works for LGBTQ 🍀!

BML is also very related to the 12th house. If stuck on a chart, it helps to correlate the two.

House placements:

🫁 1st house tend to be all bravado and no follow through. These guys make cultivate an air of mystery or being a Mr Darcy/Lord Byron character but often they are full of 💩. Sorry guys!

🫁 2nd house BML can struggle to maintain their identity and instead become the persona they use around people, often different personas for different people.

🫁 3rd house - tend to be snarky and have a dark sense of humour. May pick an argument with people for fun. Can be cruel if immature or some of the best people if mature.

🫁 4th house - way, way more sensitive than they let on. May also be more likely to hide views that aren't socially accepted.

🫁 5th house - have unexpected things they like in a partner. Intimacy may have hidden meanings or ulterior motives, not always bad but something he hides from himself e.g. loneliness.

🫁 6th house - Can become a hypochondriac, fears loss of self or others. Can also indulge in dangerous or reckless behaviours such as speeding, binge drinking and so on.

🫁 7th house - May go through mutiple divorces, marry younger than average, shotgun wedding, or marry wirh an age gap (legal). May hold grudges also, maintain relationships from childhood, and has a tendency to serve revenge cold.

🫁 8th house - Tend to be richer than they let on. Shadow side may involve spending habits e.g. having a compulsion or they may have been in a military role or other role that comes in contact with danger.

🫁 9th - most likely to be emotionally and intellectually manipulative to you. Tend to justify their manipulation through 'logic' or pre existing theories.

🫁 10th - most likely to get involved in social power play, whether office politics or something worse. Shadow side can manifest as a wolf of wall street type persona, corrupt, corporate etc.

🫁 11th Most likely to have weird aquaintences or be involved in secret societies, have an odd circle of friends or friends with dubious connections.

🫁 12th house - May either experience their shadow through dreams or the arts or may manifest as mental illness in their waking life. Most likely to struggle in day to day life.

[bearloonz]

Favorite and least favorite aspects of psychonauts' design philosophy? Not just visually but gameplay and level design counts too

i think my favorite thing about psychonauts design is how they utilize their enemies in levels. Even when youre being attacked and it can kind of feel like busywork, what enemies they choose to put in a level and where will still tell you something about the characters mental state (or at least give you something to think about for fun) and i have just been so charmed by that.

i dont think i have any overall issues with psychonauts design but i do have one level nitpick in psychonauts 2 which is that i hate the blanket statement they setup for how Raz helps Hollis after breaking her mental world. “I know making bad connections is what got me into this mess, but i think making some good ones might be what i need to fix it” or whatever. Bc a lot of Hollis’ “incorrect” connections directly correspond to her being a black woman in a struggling system who forced herself into isolation at some point and the idea that Raz is fixing these connections by making them for the first time and not just, idk, them being ideas she already had before the mix-up and therefore Raz is just re-routing them to normal always kind of wigged me out. It just feels like a poor explanation that really could’ve just been fixed with a different line of dialogue.

Also wait one more thing i hate how much prompting dialogue raz has in psychonauts 2. I hate that he has lines telling you exactly how to solve a puzzle if you spend too long on it whether the player wants it or not and i hate it in comptons cook off when you end a round and Raz goes “let’s take a break :D” and then five minutes later keeps talking about how Hey We Should Press The Big Red Button and Start the Next Round of Ram it Down in Comptons Cookoff. Boy quiet.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

What do you think of the concept of a au where Color gets corrupted by his struggles and starts going to a dark side?

An anonymous asker actually proposed the idea of Color being corrupted in some way by Nightmare to superyoumna a few years back.

It was in the context of Colorkiller, and no specifics were really talked about, but the possibility of Color being corrupted and/or going “dark side” has been bounced around occasionally over the years.

I’m just curious on how exactly it’d happen. Magic, manipulation, torture, what? Using his connections—his relationships that he relies on—to manipulate him somehow, targeting Justice and Integrity to fuck up their—and therefore Color’s—sense of morals and integrity, making him believe that whatever he’s doing or saying would be right?

That doing what someone wants would be the correct way? Or that whatever hes doing, if of his free will or believed to be, is because he believes its justice—and that it’s deserved? Justice definitely could influence Color to split into black-and-white thinking even more intensely.

Targeting Justice and Integrity, the two pillars that help maintain the bare bones of a sense of self for Color while Patience helps him regulate his emotions (even if often tipping completely into the opposite direction from dysregulated to over-regulated), perhaps is a way to go.

[respectthepetty]

Sun x Moon in The On1y One

I wrote briefly earlier about the “looking at the moon” scene in episode eleven of The On1y One, but regardless of how this cookie crumbles in the last episode, I think this conversation was excellent.

The boys are the sun and the moon, which I wrote about at the midway point of the series.

Wang is sun-coded. He is yellow and orange. He is openly friendly to his peers and warm toward them.

And the show has stated that he is the sun like when Wang was teasing Tian about the love poems he marked in the book, all the love poems were about the sun!

A girl's shyness is like a tender cherry under the sunlight; 16- and 17-year-olds are like fruits in the morning sun, sparkling

Therefore, the love poems were about Wang.

Tian is moon-coded. He is blue (and black). He isolates himself from his peers and is cold toward them. And now the show is stating that.,

But just like the book of love poems that revealed how Tian feels about Wang, we get an indirect glimpse of how Wang feels about Tian through this conversation.

It doesn't matter how good or bad the subtitles are because the focus is that Tian views the moon as something bad.

Life has it's ups and downs just like the moon waxes and wanes. It feels like everything connected to the moon is sad and full of regret. The moon shines on Earth every day, but only lights up half of it. Is that half kind of an eternity?

Tian thinks of himself and his life as sad. Everything that is connected to him, he thinks is full of regret. And he only allows people to see his outside by never letting others in. Yet Wang started this conversation off by stating his mom loved the moon and the Teresa Tang song, which we all of know since it was also featured in Moonlight Chicken!

"The Moon Represents My Heart" is an extremely popular Chinese song:

You ask how deeply I love you And just how great my love is My affection does not waver And my love doesn’t change The moon represents my heart

So not only has Wang established that he was raised to love the moon, but he also mentions this song which declares that he feels very deeply for his love and the fullness of the moon represents that love, which is probably why in the fourth episode, he was on the moon when his rocket ship came to get him.

In response to Tian's comments about the moon, Wang offers his take on the moon:

I don't agree with that. I think the moon often symbolizes light and hope, so even if it's only half, or just a moment, a second, as long as it's imprinted in your mind, it's eternal.

The conversation began because Wang's mom would ask his dad to pick between the moon and the sixpence, and in this, we see the great debate of love versus money, the future versus the present, and the abstract versus the practical. The moon is far and can't be held yet the sixpence is close and can be held. The moon would take time to get to, but the sixpence is within reach. The moon is a thought since it holds no value that can be seen, but the sixpence is money that can be used! And that's why the moon is love. And that's why Tian is the moon.

The Eclipse, Big Dragon, and Moonlight Chicken are just some BLs that gave us this sun and moon,

And the thing that they all get right is that the moon isn't the negative while the sun is positive.

The sun can burn. The sun can blind. The sun can harm. So it isn't always the positive entity that people tend to make it out to be. But the moon offers light in darkness. The moon guides the water in and out of the shores. The moon gives hope and guidance to those struggling.

So Wang's mom wanted him to pick the moon because she wanted him to pick love. She wanted him to see the possibilities rather than settle for what he had, which wasn't much. She wanted him to look to the future instead of worrying the present. She wanted him to not fear the distance, but instead know that the moon would guide him toward it. She wanted him to have hope.

And Tian gave him all of that.

So the conversation is lasagna. It has layers. It's about all these different things, but all these different things are the same thing. It's about Wang's mom. It's about the moon. It's about Tian. It's about love.

And it's about hope because regardless of what happens and no matter the distance, the moon always shines in the darkest of times, and guides those who are lost.

So even if everything looks bleak and all hope is lost, the moon will guide you home.

[shadowofthoughts]

its something completely heartbreaking that Violet, when Andarna left with Leothan, she would've died right there without a second thought.

'A roar vibrates my very bones, and my ears ring as the edges of my vision darken. My heart stutters, and my lungs cease their struggle. There’s no air and no reason to seek it.'

If it wasn't for Tairn.

'The sky darkens, and the ground trembles. I look up into the black void, and my vision narrows in an ever-shrinking circle. Not the sky. A wing. Stern, demanding golden eyes appear. “You will breathe!” His deep, gravelly voice fills my head, and unyielding strength barrels down the pathway that connects us.'

He exists, therefore I must, because we are bound. Never alone. Always connected.

Violet lost a part of her soul when Andarna left, and Tairn was her gravity in the darkest moments of her life.

'We will remain.'

[dinarosie]

What are your thoughts on Lily? I think she recieves too much hate. I get that she’s a flawed character but the way people are discussing her is like she’s a complete bitch and has been thhrougout her friendship with Sev, which I don’t agree on.

Thank you for asking this question. I had written a long meta about the relationship and friendship between Severus and Lily, but it became so lengthy that I wasn’t sure how to post it. Now, I've separated the parts that focus more on Lily’s character and written them here.(Yes, it's still long but it's shareable now)

I enjoy Snily fanfics and absolutely love Lily’s characterization in them, but I have different feelings about canon Lily. I’m not anti-Lily, but I don't think she holds any significant moral superiority or special virtues compared to other characters in the books.

Most of what we know about Lily comes from when she was 15. Yes, it’s admirable that she sacrificed her life at 21 to save her child, but that doesn’t necessarily say much about her character. Many mothers of any age and from any part of the world would do the same for their children. We don’t know how much she matured or grew as a person. We don’t know if she was satisfied with the choices she made as a teenager or what her feelings toward Severus were in her final days. That’s why I base my judgments on 15-year-old Lily.

I see her as a warm, charming, and somewhat immature girl who, coincidentally, really enjoys positive attention (though not to the extent that James does).She tries to be kind to everyone to be liked, yet feels that other girls don’t really like her and are envious. Unlike her son, she doesn’t have a complex moral code, she tends to see the world in black and white like her sister Petunia. To her, you’re either on her side and therefore her friend, or you’re against her and her enemy. She’s the type of person who can easily attract people at first glance but struggles to form deeper, more meaningful connections with them.

I think part of the reason people dislike her is that they see her as more than what she is and have high expectations of her. Fanon often portrays Lily as a girl from a high-status, wealthy family, a feminist, strong, and independent woman, which makes people expect her to have been able to solve many of the issues she faced. However, in canon, she clearly doesn’t have any of these traits. We don’t even know if her family was rich or poor, but since she lived near Snape, it doesn’t seem like there was much of a class difference between their families.

Yes, canon Lily is lively, smart, and kind, and she gets good grades, but that’s different from being ambitious, powerful, or having feminist or progressive views.

Lily marries and has a child immediately after finishing school, before she truly reaches intellectual and emotional maturity. In canon, we don’t see her play a significant role in the war, undertake any special missions for the Order, or even hold a notable job or career before having Harry. She fits more into the traditional role of a wife and homemaker. I think if she had survived and the war ended, she would have lived a life very similar to Molly Weasley (though not with as many children). She’d be a loving wife and warm mother. Of course, she would likely spoil her child more than Molly does, letting him off the hook easily. Like Petunia, she would overlook her child’s mistakes unless it involved dark magic.

I understand that most people in the wizarding world marry young, but we have characters like Minerva McGonagall, who remains independent, even refusing to change her surname after marriage. In Fantastic Beasts, we see women who, despite the war, maintain their roles as strong, independent individuals whose identities aren’t solely tied to being someone’s wife or mother. So, Lily isn’t an exceptional character in this regard. She’s more like the average woman of her time. When we view her as a very average woman, rather than the amazing, powerful, modern figure seen in fanfics, her behavior becomes much easier to understand.

As for her marriage, I can imagine what was going through her mind: everything with James Potter was easier, simpler, and more stable because, from birth, everything was handed to him. He doesn’t need to work hard for happiness or a future, as his high social status and vast family wealth are guaranteed. He probably promised Lily a successful marriage and a sweet and happy family, perhaps even on their first date, filling her with hope for what was to come. It’s only natural that a teenage girl like Lily, who sees the world in black and white and has a fragile social standing in the wizarding world, would quickly decide that marrying someone like James Potter — who is at the pinnacle of her moral scale ( he doesn’t use dark magic) — was the best choice for her future. This pattern of marriage reminds me of Petunia. She marries her boss, who is also much older than her because he can give her the stable, normal life she dreams of, with a secure income.

Sometimes I think the way Lily chose James and how Snape chose Voldemort are similar. Both were teenagers who made these decisions to secure their place in the wizarding world and cover their insecurities. Lily is fortunate to have an easier life than Severus, and as a woman, she can rely on the support of a wealthy and pure blood man. Snape, on the other hand, didn’t have Lily’s privileges. He had to work hard to secure his place, offering his life and loyalty to Voldemort, who promises him acceptance, security, and protection in return.

I also disagree with the idea that Lily is responsible for all of Snape’s problems or that if she had stayed friends with Severus, he wouldn’t have joined Voldemort:

Snape’s life was far more complicated and difficult for Lily’s presence to magically fix everything. Rowling says Snape sought acceptance, security, and peace. Clearly, Lily couldn’t provide those things for him (after all, she was just 15). Snape needed a strong, father-figure type of support at that age. Teenage Snape, contrary to those who want to portray him as obsessed with Lily, had a proud and independent personality. He didn’t base his entire life around Lily’s presence or absence. Yes, he apologized for his mistake, but when Lily threatened to leave him, he didn’t make any effort to change his circumstances. That’s why I don’t believe the people who say Snape only switched sides because of an obsession with Lily. His love for her lit the path for him later in life, but it was Snape who gave that love the power to guide him and help him grow.

[grecoromanyaoi]

The whole "are jews white" thing drives me crazy bc whiteness is not an innate state of being it is a position of power in relation to other people and therefore it is more complicated than "russian ashkie = white and sephardi = brown" but everyone wants to make race into a biological fact so we're stuck unable to acknowledge that in the same way that jews are seen as both capitalists and communists for the purposes of antisemitism, we can also be seen as both white and poc for the purposes of antisemitism AND some jews do access, use, weaponise white privilege. it's not hard

As a side note I happen to think using a "white israeli vs brown palestinian" is functionally inaccurate. while zionism obviously emerges from european nationalism and therefore includes those strains of racism, it is a nationalism aka it is about jews and not white people. ANYWAY.

right right!!! like. u cant rly "separate" jewish ppl into a white/nonwhite binary in terms of oppression bc a. whiteness is a construct, n often applies differently in different situation n b. this may break some of u all's brains but white sephardim also suffer race based discrimination. white ashkenazim n white sephardim have different experiences w race, judaism n antisemitism. there r different ppl from the same city even w wildly different relationships to ethnic identity n race. there r 5 separate synagogues in the venetian ghetto belonging to 5 different ethnic groups. theyre all italian. theyre all venetian even.

ashkenazi/sephardic/mizrahi trinary doesnt work either - many ppl r mixed, white western ashkenazim, asian ashkenazim n ashkenazim of color have different experiences w race, judaism, antisemitism, identity, culture, etc. n so do european sephardim n noneuropean sephardim (even different european sephardim between themselves, ntm how different noneuro sephardic identities r from each other), many ppl identify as both sephardic n mizrahi, etc.

n to the last point at the end of the day its still trying to erase the diversity of palestinians. like while theyre all equally palestinians n their identity is, for the lack of a better word, valid, n palestinian is also obv a cultural identity, there r plenty different ethnic, religious n racial groups within the palestinian identity. i think it connects to how many ppl, esp westerners n esp americans, refuse to analyze any global situation, usually indigenous struggles, outside their specific dichotomy of xyz oppressor n xyz oppressed. they cant fathom that brown n black israelis can b relatively privileged based on their ethnicity, so they decide to just ignore their existence alltogether. like how they refuse to comprehend that americans of color can also b privileged - both globally n as settlers on stolen land, but instead of saying that any and all criticisms of american r racist n targeting poc n usamerican is a racist dogwhistle, they go the in opposite direction n treat all israelis as white, n israel as a white country (dont tell them abt the demographic statistics in both countries). thats also why ppl refuse to b normal abt russian or ottoman imperialism - they cant rly neatly fit it into their idea of what racially/ethnic based oppression looks like.

"are jews white" are christians white? sorry for the long answer/rant, but at the end of the day, this remains unbeated

[bijoumikhawal]

Ghosts of History- Augmentation and the Eugenics Wars in Star Trek

(Also available on my substack!)

From the start augmentation has been connected to eugenics, and therefore has been a criticism of white supremacy. However, it has also from the start been given a brown face; therefore augmentation represents the fear of brown people given justification. On some level, the horror of augmentation is "what if brown people acted like we do? What if our problems spilled out and caused them to be even better at our games of destruction than us?" Augmentation is implied to have started in this US, as were The Eugenics Wars (having started as "the Second Civil War" before the conflict spread to other countries).

The association, while grossly mishandled in Trek's canon, isn't entirely unfounded. Ethnic and religious chauvinist movements have occurred in Africa and Asia for centuries before European colonialism, and supremacist ideologies have as well. Existing ethnic divides (sometimes stemming from non-European colonialism) were often used by colonizers to cause further conflict by exacerbating existing problems, and the aftermath has, as of yet, never been resolved. The wrongs committed have never been righted, and colonial meddling makes talking about the rights and grievances of minorities taboo in some cases.

Racial supremacist ideologies have also been adopted by some non-white people- there's a joke that a significant amount of anonymous white supremacist accounts online are secretly run by brown men, and it unfortunately is based on a real phenomenon.¹ Something I am very familiar with is how non-Black "North Africans" have attempted to gain global prestige by rejecting a connection to Africa- downplaying their connection to the desert, to the rural, and to darker skin. I have seen too many social media posts claiming random white blonds and gingers are "true representatives" of Mediterranean Africa when they don't even fully represent Mediterranean Europe. Existing issues have allowed people to co-opt bigoted ideologies of white origin- and unfortunately, in some countries, this has included eugenics.

Enterprise implies that a significant amount of augments were "designer babies", human embryos modified before birth for desired traits. This phenomenon is one we deal with today, and it is reserved for the wealthy, and commonly defended by and performed in white countries. Deep Space Nine (DS9) furthers this, adding that augmentation as of the 24th century could even be done on children outside the womb, but ultimately for the same purpose. However, Enterprise (ENT) and The Original Series (TOS) imply augmentation is usually "successful", while DS9 implies it isn't.

The augments we see in the former two shows are fully "supermen" convinced of their superiority. They are portrayed as aggressive liars and manipulators, who may use sexuality as a weapon. On a metatextual level, I would note that many autistic people struggle with emotional regulation, as do other neurotypes, disorders, and disabilities. This can lead to anger issues, violent urges, and outbursts. While autistic people are stereotyped as truthful, we are sometimes known to have behavioral issues that are perceived as manipulative (this is especially true of low support needs autistics).² Plenty of other neurotypes may have similar behavioral issues. This is distinct from the “genetic personality” that is assigned to augments, as the presentation of emotional dysregulation varies. But if we deconstruct the metanarrative… then are augments really “perfect supermen”, cured of all disabilities and “abnormalities”? The Machiavellian personality Star Trek uses for augments is, itself, pathologized and linked to various disorders.³ My point here is that if we don't accept that augments are “supermen”, then the implication is that eugenics really doesn't work. Not even in advanced sci-fi. This reading still isn't unproblematic, but it's one to keep in mind.

In Deep Space Nine, however, the main augment we meet is still very readily identifiable as probably being autistic. No active metatextual deconstruction required. Julian sometimes struggles to understand socially appropriate behaviors, or outright ignores them (many autistics will tell you they understand this or that, but don’t respect it or understand why people do it), is morally stubborn, and has special interests. Further, he possibly was intellectually disabled as a child, with augmentation being done to “fix” him. While I read Julian as still autistic, some people take the fact that he’s augmented to mean that he isn't anymore. The other augments we meet in DS9 are also mostly, high support needs disabled people that live in an institution. The only one that isn't is Lauren, who seems to have lower support needs. However, she has a high sex drive, which is notable as women have been sterilized by eugenicists specifically for having high sex drives. Especially if they were deemed “imbeciles”.⁴

Sarina eventually is able to leave the Institute, due to Julian treating her for her medical issues and making her support needs lower. This choice is controversial, but I don't personally think treatment lowering Sarina's support needs is the same as “curing” her, though I don't especially like it because the nuance is certainly not carried through the show. With that lack of nuance around cures vs mitigated support needs, the nuanced feelings around how different support needs are treated intercommunally is also gone. You can examine it on a metatextual level, but odds are you'll only do it if you're “in the know” because it's not in the episode.

As Julian's experiences match up with designer baby trauma, this overlaps with the experiences of trans people and intersex people. One of the most famous designer babies to speak out against their parents is Elon Musk's daughter, Vivian. Her defiance of his desire for his kids to fit a specific, biologically determined role by being transgender is a driving factor in why he's now a public, rabid Nazi. Designer babies struggle with high expectations placed on them, parents treating them like an object they own rather than a person, feeling like science experiments, controlling families, and a lack of support. The "designer baby" scheme also doesn't really work out, as many designer babies are autistic, were born pre-term and disabled, or inherited issues from biological parents anyway. Despite designer babies not existing when Deep Space Nine aired, the show predicted a lot of the social and psychological struggles they experience through Julian's character, as well as predicting the failure of such procedures to achieve desired results.⁵

A thorny area to acknowledge within this is also that people can be negatively impacted by eugenics while adopting it's ideology. Elon Musk is (allegedly) autistic. However, he is also a eugenicist that does Nazi salutes. Unfortunately, he's not a solitary figure. Many autistics with low support needs are chauvinistic and demeaning towards those with medium and high support needs. Some of these people continue to identify as having Aspergers (fittingly, a diagnosis named after a Nazi that separated the “good” autistics from the “needs to die” autistics), and call themselves “aspies”. Aspergers was retired as a diagnosis before I was diagnosed almost a decade ago, and is outdated terminology to say the least.⁴

However, these behaviors aren't neatly cordoned off to just self identified aspies, though they are strongly associated with them. Even autistics who aren't actively eugenicists often have shitty beliefs regarding people with high support needs. Sometimes people also state things like “aspies/autistics are the next stage in human evolution!” and aggressively deny that they are in any way disabled. I have personally been told, “autism is disabling, Aspergers isn't”, with the implication that disability was bad. What I'm getting at here is that the implication in Deep Space Nine that many augments are still disabled or neurodivergent is not as incompatible with augments still believing in eugenics as you'd expect. Further, there are various mystical and pseudoscientific nonsense beliefs spread- we don't have augments in our world, but we do have “starseeds”, “energy workers”, “rainbow/crystal/indigo children”, and so on. These may be accompanied by anti-medicine beliefs.⁴

There is also something to the pattern alphacanon (the shows and films in the Trek universe) implies for the spread of the Eugenics Wars. In terms of real life issues, terrorist organizations in the Global South have often started as being funded, armed and/or trained partially by the US, before eventually turning on them and becoming pariahs (this phenomenon is called “blowback”).⁶ Further, their extremist ideologies were also created by the US or encouraged by the US. Like the Eugenics Wars, there is a sense in which "terrorism" is something that started as an American problem and spread outwards. It is notable that after a much more humanizing portrayal of augments in Deep Space Nine, Enterprise- as a post 9/11 entry to canon, and therefore jingoistic and sensitive to the topic of terrorism- returns to the origin of augments in Trek. Particularly, it makes them inherently villainous due to biological impacts on their personality.

This idea, of a genetically determined personality, is ironically, a eugenicist one. Especially when the personality traits in question are things such as morality (those deemed immoral, criminal, sexually perverse, and so on were sterilized in the US).⁴ It is also an idea that Deep Space Nine loudly rejected. Furthermore, it's a lazy and boring way of creating an antagonist. It is much more likely that many augments were indoctrinated into a specific ideology. Enterprise, however, refutes this, and generally refutes DS9's refutation of "genetic personality". When Arik Soong tries to raise augments to not be like Khan, he fails because that is "in their nature". Ignored is the fact that Soong believes in at least some eugenic ideas, such as augments being the next step in the evolution of humanity. All augments, ENT argues, need to be hunted down and killed. ENT also tied the Eugenics Wars to the Global South, with Archer mentioning his great grandfather fighting in "North Africa" against augments. During the 90s. The Sahelo-Saharan region has, in recent decades, struggled with religious extremist violence. Even though Enterprise's main augment is white, he's still named Malik, which means "king" or "owner" in Arabic. This tie is not new, as on top of Khan being Khan, TOS states that Khan ruled over a large swathe of Asia nearly equal to a quarter of the planet.

Of course, the connections to the War on Terror didn't exist when TOS, TNG, DS9, or VOY were made. During DS9's run, a terrorist could still be a hero- so long as they didn't get too in your face about the fact that they were inspired by Palestine when writing her culture. However, it does end up fitting in hindsight, especially when coupled with the series that was influenced by the War on Terror. Because of the racial implications of augmentation, augments such as Julian face a constant pressure to be one of the good ones. "For every Julian Bashir that can be created, there’s a Khan Singh waiting in the wings". Julian is told to his face that he's an "exception" in a later episode.

The current alphacanon (shows and films) stance on the origin of augmentation directly ties it to the Cold War, and accidentally ties it to Nazism. Currently, it began in the 1950s with scientists (implied to be in America) started trying to create supermen that would "lead Humanity into an era of peace in a world that had only known war". If you know your WW2 history, you will immediately recognize this is an ubermensch. You may also recognize that in the 1950s, a lot of Nazi scientists were running around America thanks to Operation Paperclip. The implication from the information we have indicates this ideology spread outwards.

While I don't know of as many eugenics movements in the Global South, I do know that Westerners have promoted some degree of negative eugenics via fears about overpopulation. This fear has lead to Westerners educating women in Asia and Africa about birth control (good) because they don't want there to be "too many" Asians or Africans (bad). Population control efforts using birth control started in India in the 1950s, and in the decades afterwards, were aggressively pushed by other countries controlling million dollar loans and food aid. These efforts did often target lower income families, and in the 70s people of low socioeconomic status were sometimes picked up off the street or rounded up in their villages by police to be sterilized. Religious tensions with the Muslim minority also came into play, with Muslims being suspicious of the genocidal implications of this tactic. During the 1970s, over 18 million sterilizations were done. To achieve such numbers, operations were often poorly done, unhygienic, and lacked follow up care. Thousands died as a result.⁷

While the fear of overpopulation targeting Africa and Asia is justified by pointing out differences in fertility rates, the actual issues said to be caused by overpopulation (carbon emissions, for example) are overwhelmingly caused by white, Western countries. The issue "overpopulation" is worried about is not actually carbon emissions. It's worried about white people being too outnumbered.⁸ Eugenic ideology has not been fully adopted in the Global South, but it is rising, especially in connection with fascist movements such as Hinduvta. In fact, some Indians associated with the RSS (the overall organization Nahendra Modi is associated with) have publicly promoted the idea of designer babies, though in a less high tech and more accessible form.⁹ Subtler forms of eugenics are also promoted, occasionally in slogans such as "tashin al nasal" (Egyptian Arabic for "improve the race"), a sentiment which is linked to violent racial nationalism in Mediterranean Africa, and partly responsible for why I try to no longer use the terms "North" and "Sub-Saharan" to describe Africa. The Earth that Starfleet presents seems to be one wherein not only did we have far more advanced technology during the 1950s, but also where the eugenic ideals the West exported to the Global South focused very strongly on positive eugenics (trying to encourage certain behaviors rather than trying to limit negative ones, though both are often done simultaneously).⁴

Puzzling is the fact that Khan is an augment, and one of the most notable and powerful. Khan is explicitly mentioned to be a Sikh in his first appearance. Sikhs are an ethnoreligious minority in India (which is a Hindu majority country), but are the majority in the region of Punjab. Post-colonial Indian politics, especially recently, have been dominated by religious, caste, and ethnic chauvinism and supremacy, in favor of high caste Hindus (from the Northern regions).¹⁰ Said people are also the ones, to my understanding, who would be more likely to adopt ideologies such as eugenics. In fact, two decades after Star Trek introduced Khan, Sikh civilians were killed by the Indian government and subjected to genocide.¹¹ As before mentioned, eugenic programs in India are typically associated with Hindu supremacy. The fact that Khan is an augment is puzzling (though not impossible) due to the socioeconomic struggles of that community.

The Eugenics Wars did not present a united front of augments vs non-augments. From canon alone, we know augments fought with each other as well as fighting against non-augmented humans. There is also the possibility that some augments fought as allies with non-augments. Further, while the Federation is against augmentation, it is not against ableism. The idea of "self improvement and self enrichment", first espoused in TNG, has the unspoken conclusion that if you can't achieve, you're worthless. Being mediocre is a failure, and this is part of what drove the Bashir parents to break the laws around augmentation. As Worf states "...parents would feel pressured to have their children enhanced so that they could keep up".

This observation isn't entirely original. In a “Trek, Actually” video by Steven Shives, he points out that Federation society, or at least some Federationers, are implied to be bigoted towards those with disabilities, and that being disabled or having a disabled child may still be a source of shame. In a comment (that I don't fully agree with) by lunatickoala on this video, they also point out "...If you have a society where people are told pretty much from birth that a person's job, their goal in life is to better themselves, you can damn well sure that people are going to be judged on how much they've "bettered themselves". And in the absence of capital capital, social capital becomes the only capital. People with power and influence will use that power and influence to ensure that their kids get into the best schools... In such a society, having a learning disability would be like having a physical disability in Klingon society..."¹²

Further, we see that disabilities such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dyspraxia (seen in Spock in Discovery) are still stigmatized as of the 23rd century. Spock, in turn, during TOS undermines Pike's autonomy as a disabled person and his wishes not to go to Talos. Pike's disability is also portrayed primarily as an object of horror and discomfort. People who are paralyzed and disfigured still have lives they enjoy. Mental illness is also portrayed with varying quality. PTSD is often handled well, but many other characters with other issues aren't. Garak, one of my favorites, is in a weird in-between area for me. His claustrophobia is treated well, possibly because it's caused by trauma and therefore is similar to PTSD, and this is also true for his addiction. However, Garak’s writing often makes him come off as generally… with some screws loose. I don't dislike this portrayal, but it's complicated because Garak is a murderer, slowly deprogramming fascist, and generally what one might term “bad representation”. Frankly my main issue is that he's the only character on Deep Space Nine portrayed as his flavor of mentally ill. Many characters on Deep Space Nine have mental issues, but they are ones that Star Trek already handles well or portrays in specific terms that are more palatable.

While some disabilities, such as blind people, are not particularly stigmatized, this is in part because assistive technology has advanced to the point where blind people can "see". In TNG Geordi defends himself to a person from a eugenicist colony based on his ability to "contribute". While an important episode, it does not actually fully refute ableism because of the attention given to "contribution". Disabled people deserve to live even if they can't contribute anything, because disabled people are human beings who can be happy and enjoy the lives they do lead.

Notably, while Julian's initial fascination with Melora is pointed out as inspiration porn in another Trek, Actually video,¹³ it goes beyond an abled person being weird to a disabled person because I do think Julian is still autistic. His fascination with Melora's refusal to accept help or "special treatment" reads as being influenced by his own upbringing, where, after being augmented, he was likely taught that asking for help was shameful or inappropriate. When he calls her extraordinary, it's still demeaning and he is still being ableist, but it has the added layer that he has almost certainly internalized that that's what he's supposed to do. Similarly, Julian tries to help Melora with her disability for her work as an expression of his belief that he can “fix” people… which is what his parents did to him (also not an original observation from me). This video also has pretty good criticisms of how this episode focuses more on Julian's thoughts and feelings than Melora's.

While I hope this article leads to a better and more developed understanding of this issue and it’s real life ramifications, the tension we noted at the beginning remains. Augments and the Eugenics Wars are a statement against white supremacy and ableism, though one that falls short. They also serve as a vehicle for fears regarding Brown people, especially in TOS and ENT. As a concept, it is not internally consistent due to these two forces.

Sources and Further Reading:

“Many Indian trolls wrote me hate mails defending white supremacists” by Chandrima Banerjee

All About Autistic Meltdowns: A Guide For Allies from Reframing Autism, and Manipulation – Does It Occur in Autism? from Autism Awareness Center

Machiavellianism from Wikipedia. Note that this is considered a “dark triad” trait, a term that immediately invokes a sense of foreboding. While not a disorder itself, it is discussed in similar terms to the way people colloquially discuss disorders.

“Aspie Supremacy”- A Deep Dive by Ember Green.

Designer Babies Are Teenagers Now—and Some of Them Need Therapy Because of It by Emi Nietfeld

Go to United States and state-sponsored terrorism on Wikipedia and feel your brain melt! This isn’t even all the examples I would give; for example, this page does not cover Operation Cyclone. Whose Monster? A Study in the Rise to Power of al Qaeda and the Taliban by Nicholas Kotarski does discuss this, as well as other factors in the forming of al Qaeda.

India: “The Emergency” and the Politics of Mass Sterilization by Prajakta R. Gupte

The Overpopulation Myth and its Dangerous Connotations By Brittney Bush Bollay

India's far-right is trying to make India great again through eugenics by Jyoti Malhotra

The Growing North-South Divide in India by Sehr Rushmeen

It’s Time India Accept Responsibility for Its 1984 Sikh Genocide by Simran Jeet Singh

Trek, Actually, “What the Bashir Family Tells Us About Ableism in Star Trek” by Steven Shives

Trek, Actually, “How Star Trek Actually Deals (And Doesn’t Deal) With Disability” by Steven Shives

Specific Trek Episodes: Star Trek: The Original Series, "Space Seed”. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, “Dr. Bashir, I Presume?”. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, “Statistical Probabilities”. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, “Chrysalis”. Star Trek: Enterprise, “Hatchery”. Star Trek: Enterprise, “Borderland”. Star Trek: Enterprise, “Cold Station 12”. Star Trek: Enterprise, “The Augments”. Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, “Strange New Worlds”. The lore about the 50s is from Star Trek: Into Darkness.