#and there's many reasons why i believe sasori would want himself to be different from his preserved organic counterparts

[sockori]

oh god ryu’s rambling about ninjas again- quick, batten down the hatches

 (Episode 1 Season 1: Sasori’s Transformation Interpretations + Brief Reason Why It’s Canonically Written This Way)

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵  a popular ‘headcanon’, or interpretation really, for Sasori I’ve seen pop up a couple of times is: his entire body is quite literally a corpse and not simply just his core. As we know, it’s essentially already been canonically confirmed that this isn’t the deal- but, we all love to disrespect canon rules completely, whether we admit it or not, so let’s roll with it: say we don’t know what Sasori is yet, other then that he isn’t necessarily human, so some propose he’s a human corpse, or another organic material. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, at least to me, so I tend to disagree with this whole idea. But I can see both sides of the situation on why people implement this overall change or interpretation. 

Here’s one idea. I would like to believe that Sasori is not entirely impatient. Rather, he values his patience in relation to others much differently to how he views patience in means to his collection/craftsmanship. For example, spending little time on a co-worker, whether it be feelings, personality and wants, yet very much willing to spend large amounts of time with his puppets. And a thought that comes to mind is, well, that’s because of many factors (ex. Sasori hates the trivial matters of humanity, instead retreating to puppets who won’t argue with him, which is true), and make the point that they’re artworks not necessarily co-workers, which is also true, but I think this can also illustrate where Sasori’s channeling his overall energy to in the big picture- that being he’s focusing much more his work and himself. So where in the world am I dragging this whole almost off-topic mess to? And, right here, is my other hand on the matter.

Embalming (looking at the modern example of the Russian scientists who work(ed) on both the corpses of Vladimir Lenin and various North Korean leaders) is a tedious process that is, overall, time consuming. One body alone requires a whole slew of careful monitoring, regular re-embalming, and scheduled cleaning, which can go from many hours, to multiple days at a time. Realizing just how much work is inserted into fighting the grim reaper that is decomposition, one can imagine that Sasori has quite a lot of work on his hands already. If he constantly has to dedicate his focus to the preservation of multiple puppets at once on a regular basis, how would he have any time for his own body?

And, in an counterargument, the believer of the headcanon probably has this to say: what if his suspected ‘kinjutsu’ surrounding the creation of human puppets pretty much eliminates this whole process to begin with? such as, the chakra channeled into this technique possibly making the conversation of organic material a self-sustaining process- thus, no need to keep up with the whole collection (at least not incessantly) and, in turn, have more time to focus on their functionality as puppets. If that is the reason one would want to propose to fill the void of ‘famously ambiguous human puppetry’, then Sasori’s body can, indeed, perhaps be a preserved version of himself, and provide a reason as to how he can take care of his work.

However, there’s a whole side of the coin we haven’t flipped yet- and that’s the subjective purpose. The reason behind Sasori’s wanted transformation to mechanics- philosophically and psychologically. Why go through all the trouble with such a complex, complicated metamorphosis if one wants a quick, easy escape from weakness? Or, in much simpler terms, why even turn yourself into a puppet(-like form) to start? Based on all the inner tribulations with see with gross puppet man, here’s the potential/general reasons that we know (not all of them, but the most important).

For the sake of “Eternal Beauty”, or an artistic reason: that being to exist long into the future while still pertaining an ‘attractive’ physical form.

To bypass the process of decomposition, or to gain the ability to do the opposite (synthesize- be able to be re-assembled after deconstruction).

Potentially eliminate physical human processes altogether, such as eating, drinking, sleeping/resting, among other steps.

Eliminate weaknesses in combat, such as fatigue/pain, blood loss, being mortally wounded, or wounded altogether (at least, when you disregard getting stabbed in the core)- in relation to being rid of physical human processes.

To destroy emotional connections, such as ties to people or memories (big clue: eliminating the ability to literally grieve).

To hinder the control that emotions and feelings have over the mind; to tear down impulses; to level the physical sense of feeling.

The list, at a glance, seems to portray: Sasori has transformed to separate himself from the concept of humanity or a “mortal lifespan”- to create distance between him and the fragility and ‘weaknesses’ of organic life by, in a rebellious way, converting to an inorganic form.

It’s obvious that the puppeteer has had bad experiences with being a human being- anguish from death, lack of appreciation/affection, lack of encouraging stimuli, unsatisfactory higher authority, and mental disturbance due to all these factors. It would make sense for Sasori, in response, to generate quite a lot of distrust, if not all out hatred, for the concept of a human body, and to go against its principles (and to take it out on others, but the complications of that could be another post entirely). Looking at Sasori’s canon descriptions of himself, he very much emphasizes that his inorganic form and his organic part (the core) are two separate entities (”   My heart… is just like this body…“ or his most famous “I am an unfinished puppet, whose lifeless frame still contains a beating heart at its core. I am neither dead, nor am I alive.“). I mean, seriously, in one of these situations, he looks down upon Sakura and Chiyo because they’re being human, describing helping each other as pointless, speaking of his inability to feel, such as the possibility of his grandmother’s death, as a higher-ranking trait in comparison. The divide is right there.

So, if THAT’S the case- why persist to be a preserved human life form and go against that goal entirely? If one believes Sasori thinks puppets are superior to human beings, and/or himself being superior to his puppets, wouldn’t it make more sense for him to push past merely being a hollowed out dead body, and further pursue being an actual puppet?- Not only for the emotional reasons, like the distance, but to emphasize his dominance over humanity itself by simply not being apart of it? Wouldn’t him being an inorganic form better portray his ability to manipulate mortality (being different from his human puppets)? Wasn’t all the effort he put into, canonically, for the attempt to push himself away from mortality as much as possible?

And THAT’S why I disagree with this concept.

So In conclusion, I think our puppet man staying a preserved corpse could work physically and scientifically, but not subjectively. The possibility is there, certainly, with the right factors, but the overall purpose of it is unreasonable, particularly to the definition of his role as an antagonist. With all Sasori’s personal opinions about preservation, eternity, puppetry, humanity, etc. I think him wanting to stay human would be pretty ‘ooc’ of him.

What I’m trying to say is, Sasori in canon right now- turning his body into an incomplete puppet, containing the ‘beating heart’ at its core- is incredibly crucial to his overall character. Very much symbolically. Again, keep in mind, Sasori does have organic life residing within him still- that already portrays the hypocrisy (or at least some form of oxymoron) of his beliefs and his actions. It does a phenomenal job of that alone, and should stay that way. ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ok ryu are you done yet

I just wrote this entire “rant but an analysis but an argument but also a rant analysis post” for no reason at all other then impulse and I hope and pray that an explanation about some skinny mannequin guy does not lead to any potential discourse within the much s̶u̶r̶p̶e̶r̶i̶o̶r̶  sophisticated sasori stan community cause i know some folks in the naruto world really can’t handle even the slightest disagreement

oh and there’s probably a lot of weird phrasing in this because i typed it all without thinking, so if there’s any inconsistencies i am sorry

 yes I’m aware this is a Wendy’s drive thru    

[captnjacksparrow]

Hey! Happy Pride month!

So I want to ask you a question.

So, I noticed you’re a anti-ss and anti-Sakura. Can I ask, Do you like Sakura? If you do, why? If you don’t, why do you dislike Sakura? Do you think she’s useful? Do you think she deserves the hate she receives from the fandom? Do you think Sasuke was horrible to her and she deserves better? Do you think she’s a good mother to Sarada? Is she a good friend to Ino and Naruto? Do you think Boruto did a good job with her character on the show?

@larrycherry04  LOL... Can’t believe it took me 7 months to cook up this answer as it was emotionally taxing to go through every moment of hers which I couldn’t handle it all at a time... And finally I did it. Also, too many questions which I cannot cover in a single post. So let me just write about why I hate her. 

[[LENGTHY POST AHEAD -- Read at your own risk-- Hinata Fans, Don’t Interact -- I hate your Byakugan Princess as well.]]

WHY I HATE SAKURA?

There are some characters you really liked initially but then all of a sudden, a particular character’s motivation in 1 or 2 panels will give us disgust and will make us hate that character forever... And after that, you will start to notice the fatal flaws in that said character which was planted all along. Say, Hinata. 

But Sakura is a different breed. She is a pure annoyance to the power of billion right from the Frame One till the last frame of the series. I was really surprised about her development because the same author has created many female characters like Ino, Konan, Temari, Tsunade who has better attitude and cooler jutsus. I will not say that they are the best representation of woman characters in all the media. But definitely better inside the Narutoverse. Tsunade definitely impressed me.

It’s just that Sakura managed to collect all my hatred in every scene she appears and finally I just couldn’t bear with her attitude. The only person she deserves in this Narutoverse is Danzo. 

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SAKURA - THE GOOD 

Not much to list but there are very few. But let me get this thing over in the beginning because I simply don’t want anyone to feel better about Sakura by explaining her good stuffs towards the end. Then, it will be like a redemption. And I don’t want to be that person to redeem her, I am bad that way.

I will not list anything she did for Sasuke. I fucking don’t care because she is doing it all for getting his dick back in return. I just care what she did for someone other than Sasuke without Sasuke’s influence. So, Sakura realizing ‘Next time, I will treat Naruto better’ in Episode 3 will not be listed here.

She giving bento to Naruto during Bell Test after seeing Sasuke will not be listed here. Because if she didn’t, then Sasuke would have burned her with his glare. She just did it to impress Sasuke, not out of genuine worry towards Naruto.

And No, I will not list the number of times she used her Medical Ninjutsu to save Naruto or any other characters. Because that’s her job. And Naruto can heal himself with his Kurama’s powers. And to be honest Ino also healed him in Hidan-Kakuzu arc and Hinata also helped him fix his disjointed Shoulders in the War Arc.... SO, SAKURA IS NOT SPECIAL....

And No, She, saving Kankuro will also be not listed here.

[[SIDE NOTE : That Sasori battle was a nice display of Women Power.. I mean, in how many media have you seen in where a old lady uses her strength and tricks to defeat a formidable opponent?. So, Battle wise I find it amazing and powered up. But for a valid reason, I couldn’t add that in Sakura - The Good section]]

A Good deed is something you do from your subconscious mind without any expectations or anyone’s influence . That deed may not be grandeur in terms of benefit or scale. But a simple tear drop for a stranger is also something I find it to be admirable and a sign of genuine heart.

TRYING TO CHEER UP NARUTO

This is the first moment in the series I felt that Sakura could think & worry about someone other than Sasuke exclusively.... ( I mean Not lumping Naruto along with Sasuke-kun and worrying about them for both, like that time when they fought with Haku)

QUITTING PAPER TEST FOR KEEPING NARUTO’S DREAM ALIVE

Yeah, I have to admit that this scene came out of nowhere. I never expected Sakura will ever do something for Naruto that will not benefit her, or at least in the beginning of Part 1. 

I don’t know, somehow everyone in his team is so eager to protect Naruto’s Dream. Since, it was coming from Sakura, it’s nice to see something like this.

SPEAKING UP FOR NARUTO - 1

Never expected this moment as well!!!! Oh Sakura!!! If only you had been like this throughout the series, You would’ve been worshipped as Goddess, you know!!!

CRYING FOR NARUTO

This scene takes place when Granny Chiyo was explaining about Tailed Beasts and Jinchurikki. When Sakura heard that, “A Jinchurikki without the Tailed Beast will........ Die”. Even, I was feeling so bad for Naruto but Sakura went one step ahead and cried for Naruto which I find it to be Genuine and heart warming.

WILLING TO RISK HER LIFE FOR GRANNY CHIYO

I never understood why she decided to jump in front of Granny Chiyo to save her... But she did. Which is something we should credit her for. The Word Selfless and Sakura came together for the first time in this series... I think probably the Last time as well. 

But you know what???? None of her Asshole Fans ever talked about this scene at any point of time to promote her Good side.... There’s not one Sakura stan blog I’ve come across so far has promoted this selfless side of Sakura in this arc, instead they were all about how she beat that ass of Sasori and how she became a strong Hulk by punching everything and not to mention how she ‘unconditionally’ loved Sasuke....  Geez, Her fans don’t even know about their Favourite character well enough....

TRYING TO UNDERSTAND SAI

For me, this is where Sakura shined as a human being in Part 2. I have to agree this. Because even Naruto didn’t bothered about Sai that much, considering the amount of empathy he has shown for Haku, Zabuza and Gaara in part 1. 

Sakura did it out of a genuine concern and wanted to know more about Sai and his background. She even kept his picture book that he left after ditching Team 7 to go with Orochimaru. Because she noticed something about Sai that no one else in Team 7 did, that is, the bonding between Sai and Shin. It was very nice to see this side from her. Probably she did this because he looks like Sasuke, I don’t know... But anyways. I think it’s one of her positives.

WORRYING ABOUT NARUTO 

This is also another moment where Sakura genuinely worried for Naruto’s safety and was willing to help him in any ways possible. I felt surprised and refreshing when she said that, “I can only do little things for him” because for the very first time after part 1, she wants to do something for someone other than Sasuke. 

SPEAKING UP FOR NARUTO - 2

Well, I think this is okay, I guess????

LIP TO LIP CPR FOR NARUTO

Well, I didn’t want to include this scene at all. Because, by this time, All I felt about Sakura was pure disgust. But still, I just included it in this section because Doing all these will never benefit either Sakura or Naruto. Because, Naruto had a big plot armour behind his head and in the end, Only Obito’s timely arrival to put the Tailed Beast saved Naruto, it’s not because of Sakura. And also, this scene was put there to spite NH that Hinata was useless when it comes to saving Naruto by deliberately making her trip on the Battlefield.

Anyways, a good deed is a good deed, no matter what. Plus, I had a slightest hope that, atleast after this scene Sakura would’ve changed her attitude. But..... Never mind.

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SAKURA - THE USELESS

This section explores her uselessness despite her rabid fans’ grand claim about her that Sakura is capable of beating Uchiha Madara. Well, I would’ve believed them if this section didn’t exist. Unfortunately she can’t even catch ‘Tora’ the cat. 

I WILL DO NOTHING IN THE BELL TEST

Yeah, She basically just fainted and fainted again. She copied Sasuke and got the job. While Naruto and Sasuke were displaying their powerful Jutsu in their arsenal at that time (Kagebunshin & Katon) and were trying their best to snatch that bell, and yet this girl just did nothing but at the end of the day she got a lucrative job with talented guys. Leaving all the legwork to them and enjoy scratching her horny ass. Spoiled Princess and a Gold digger!!!!

Kishi set this dynamics for Team 7 very early in the series and that never changed even at the very end. Because he never intended to.

I WILL SHOUT FOR NARUTO - VERSION 1

This happens right after Orochimaru knocked out Sasuke after giving his Cursed Seal. And Sakura proved her uselessness here by shouting Naruto’s name towards an unconscious Naruto. 

I mean, ‘What the F**k!!!! Why are you crying for his name??? You are also a ninja, aren’t you? What kind of useless Teammate you are to the point of shouting for another knocked out Teammate ?? And also, Naruto was also knocked out, Why are you not worrying for him like you worry for Sasuke?’

You know what? Rin Nohara will treat both of her boys with utmost care... Not like you at all. Even though she loved Kakashi, She treated Obito with the same care. No wonder, Obito started a war for Rin and his Team.

And also, it’s very clear that, if something happens to Sasuke, Sakura could do nothing other than shouting for the help of Naruto.... But SS stans shamelessly says that Sakura saved him from the darkness... Hmmmph

CUTTING MY HAIR IS A NEW GIRL POWER MOVE

Yeah, Every girl would have experienced this phase in our lives. Like something bad happens, say, a break up, we change our hairstyles by cutting it short. Nothing wrong actually. But most of us would change from our bitter experience. But Sakura had other ideas.

Just when I thought she was going to fight back and protect her team mates, ummmmm...... nope. The Author didn’t even give her a chance. Team Asuma grabbed the honours and saved her useless ass this time. Ino-Shiko-Cho came for her rescue because Sakura doesn’t have any plan as to what to do next and didn’t know how to fight those Sound Ninjas and she was getting mercilessly beaten....  

OR atleast after that, She could’ve helped them in their fight in some way, but... Man!!!! She never even bothered to move from that place unless Sasuke got into rampage mode and she only got up to hug him... So, Sakura can move for Sasuke but not for Naruto or Lee or Ino or for Anyone. 

By, the way I liked Ino here... What a team player!!! This dynamics continued till the very end. Best Team in the series.

LIFETIME PROMISE

When you can’t do something, all you can do is to seek Naruto’s help!!! But never once in your life, you would genuinely appreciate and acknowledge him for what he was... Well, her fans are saying that Sakura was the one who saved Sasuke from Darkness... If that’s the case, why is she asking Naruto to bring him back instead of saving Sasuke all on her own.

This is where she started to use Naruto and threw him in Chapter 699. And they say, Team 7!!! Yaaay!!!!

I WILL SAY ‘I’LL SAVE EVERYONE’ BUT WHEN TIME COMES I WILL HIDE IN THE WOODS

God!!!! I just got annoyed after she said these words and in my rewatch I hated her even more. Look, I already knew Itachi was going to be a good guy when I watched Episode 128,129,130 in part 1. I mean I was 85% sure. And I know he was so powerful. He knocked out Kakashi, a top Jounin in Konoha like he was nothing. But Sakura had the gall to say that she will save Sasuke and Naruto from Itachi....

Now I know why her fans are over exaggerating her powers. Because their Kween thinks she can beat Itachi. No wonder, her fans are believing that she can beat Madara too. 

Well, She just said these words like it was so easy and what did she do when Itachi appeared??

Yeah.... Simply hiding in the woods and doing nothing.

Geeez!!! I hate these, All Talk and No Work kind of fools.... I’ve had enough of them in my workplace. Useless as Fuck!!! 

I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING TO STOP MY ‘SASUKE -KUN’

Logically, Sakura should be the one who should’ve stopped this attack. Because Sasuke and Naruto are her teammates. Sai has nothing to do with Naruto. And yet his body moved on to protect Naruto. 

What the hell are you doing, Asshole!!!! Why are you standing like a clown doll???? You boldly told to injured Naruto, in Part 1 that you will save Sasuke along with Naruto. Now he is in danger, why are you not moving an inch???

This is another display of her inherent motto, ‘All Talk and No work’. Keep it up!!! Sakura.  

I WILL SHOUT FOR NARUTO - VERSION 2

Yeah, Even Konohamaru did something to kill a Pain. He trained Naruto’s superior Ninjutsu and saved Ebisu Sensei. While I agree that you punched some monsters and saved some people. After that??? Cry again for Naruto like a baby and do nothing. 

She couldn’t do anything because Sakura can only fight with the likes of Madara level opponent, not the mere Nagato kind of guys. 

What’s more!!! We all have that annoying friend who pesters us and ask for the story while watching a movie in the theatre, because that friend has poor viewing comprehension or missed a scene because she was scrolling through Instagram!!! Sakura is that kind of person.

This time some Byakugan guy got stuck with her as her CCTV camera. Poor Soul!!! 

I WILL PRAY AND DO NOTHING

This is something only Sakura can do. Because she realized that she is third wheeling between these guys and decided to trust them.

Then, if she can’t do anything for him, why is she is going behind him??

Sakura’s inner Voice... ‘Let them fight. Naruto will save Sasuke and Somehow I will get my Sasuke-kun’s D back. All I can do is I believe in them’.

I SHOW GIRL POWER ONCE AND THEN I’ll DO NOTHING

This is when this piece of shit punched some useless Juubi Clones and received compliment from Hashirama too. But after one power display, she did....... 

LITER-FUCKING-ALLY NOTHING!!!!! Yeah, somehow her monster strength was never displayed again because she was busy getting horny. 

I AM A GREAT DOCTOR... ATLEAST THAT’S WHAT MY FANS CLAIM

Everyone was claiming that Sakura is some best doctor and surpassed her Master Tsunade. Even Shizune said something like that. Sakura herself said, ‘I think I caught upto them (Naruto and Sasuke)’. 

Well, what happened now????

Sasuke surpassed Orochimaru by killing him. Naruto surpassed Jiraiya by defeating all Six Pain by mastering Senjutsu. What did you do??? You couldn’t even save Shikamaru. And you had the gall to think Naruto to mind his own business. 

And then Tsunade came and touched his Forehead... Pooof!!! He was cured. 

So, you didn’t even surpass your master and yet claiming that you caught up to your team mates!!!

Another ‘All Talk and No Work’ display.

I AM A GREAT DOCTOR AGAIN 

You know, You had one job!!! One fucking job!!! You couldn’t even snatch out an eyeball from Obito. Rin did the transplant in a matter of minutes under much distressing situations. 

And yet you are second guessing and standing in a safe place and couldn’t do anything...

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SAKURA - LOYAL DOG FOR SASUKE BUT TREATS NARUTO LIKE A STRAY DOG

Look, the scenes in this section might not have bothered you guys much or looks too trivial because Naruto never got bothered about this. But, as a viewer, it just annoyed me too much. If it was just once or twice, I could’ve ignored them. But it went too far. Well, it may be my bias too. 

IGNORING NARUTO’S COMPLIMENT

Who wouldn’t love compliments?? A boy who is genuinely praising her for her talents. Does it hurt to say a simple, ‘Thank You??’

Yeah, you expected a compliment from someone else. But Why ignore someone who cares about you?

These kind of girls belongs to the category of ‘Wanting to reach the Unreachable’. They always ignore genuine care from the good ones and wag their tails shamelessly for the indifferent ones. 

NARUTO FALLING DOWN - WHO CARES?

I actually didn’t notice many of these on my first watch. But rewatch made me notice these poor treatment.

Sakura, this ass, absolutely don’t care about what happened to Naruto but when Sasuke gets hurt she would do anything to catch him like a dog catches its bone. Well, this gives her the opportunity to smooch Sasuke, isn’t it???

Say whatever you want, this idiot spoils the Team 7 dynamics and I hate Team 7 mostly because of her. And there is this joke fandom called NaruS*k* who claims that Sakura cared about Naruto as well and they bring some stupid panels to argue their point... Well, what about this???? Why didn’t her body moved on it’s own to protect him???

INJURED SASUKE IS MY PRIORITY THAN THE MONSTER BEFORE YOU

Again, this is another instance Sakura wanted to touch and feel for Sasuke while completely ignoring the surroundings. 

There’s a fucking monster standing before her and Naruto was asking her a question in a shell shocked manner. This Asshole is just too irritated with his question because he disturbed her touchy feely thoughts for her beloved Sasuke-Kun. 

TO ME MY FEELINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN CARING ABOUT NARUTO

Oh my Crap!!! I can’t even believe that a person could be as insensitive as this Girl.... 

Like Girl!!! A Boy is literally sitting in front of you with a wounded body and yet you only care about Sasuke not returning back to Konoha.... And was sulking like a Whiny cat....

IF IT IS TO REACH SASUKE, I’ll HAND OVER NARUTO TO AKATSUKI

Look, You may think I am delusional or whatever shit. This irked me on my first watch. 

This Ass was literally goading Naruto to go and attack Akatsuki to reach Sasuke. While she completely knew About Akatsuki hunting people like Naruto. 

So, Can I assume that this scene conveys, Sakura is okay to put Naruto in danger if it means to get Sasuke back??? I mean, Naruto would be always ready for this plan even if it means death. But how can Sakura take advantage of this fact???

If she is a normal human being with a least amount of concern, shouldn’t she be advising Naruto against it???

Geez!!! The more I look into this panel the more I want to punch my screen..

WHEN IT IS FOR NARUTO - I’ll COWER, IF IT’S FOR SASUKE - I’ll BECOME A MONSTER

Alright, this is where the famous Sasori fight comes in. Yeah, Like I already said, The fight sequence was amazing. But Sakura’s motivation was inhumane and apathetic. 

Here she is literally claiming that she don’t have those skills... Well, it’s alright, She is young and no one expects her to be the Top Jounin Level kunoichi...

But the moment Sasori mentioned something about Orochimaru, she literally started to pay attention and got motivated to fight. 

So, she was fighting this battle only for Sasuke and not for Naruto who was the only person in immediate danger. I am not saying shouldn’t fight for Sasuke. I only wish she should have mentioned Naruto as well. 

If there was no mention of Orochimaru, I guess she will be like that little cowardly girl and put a lot of stress on Granny Chiyo. I think she never gave two shits about Naruto. 

And they shamelessly say Sakura and Naruto were Best Friends Forever...!!!! [[It was so gratifying to see that Naruto ignored this asshole in Gaiden]]

I’LL NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE NARUTO’S HELP

This might be a funny scene for comic relief, but shit!!!! After treating Naruto like a pest, I just cant take this scene as a joke. I am sorry, I am biased.

Can’t she say a single, ‘Thank you’ ??

I’LL DO ANYTHING IF SASUKE ASKS ME TO

I don’t need to explain this scene, Sasuke is calling her literally ‘Useless’ and she just started to droop her face.

But this is how Sakura shows her Girl Boss moment to Naruto who was genuinely concerned about her health and asks her to take rest. 

So, where is your Self-Respect????? A guy who is treating you nicely but you want show your useless power display and yet when another guy insults you, you take his shit like a Strawberry Icecream. And they say you are some strongest kunoichi!!!!

You may think Naruto underestimated Sakura and treated her like a weak woman. No, he was not. He said the same to Sasuke once in Part 1 as well, when Naruto was about to fight with Gaara.

Does this means Naruto underestimated Sasuke too??? And Naruto said the same to his summoning Frog Gamakichi in the War Arc too.

Sakura pests are seriously hypocritic to the core.

[[There is this claim that ‘You hate Sakura because she didn’t accept Naruto’s love’.... Well No, He never loved her first of all.... Second of all, Nobody wants this pest to get along with Naruto and abuse him further... Third of all, All we want is for her to acknowledge and care about Naruto as a Teammate and still she can love Sasuke... ]]

SAKURA - THE FOOL

You might think that I am an hypocrite by claiming Sakura as a Fool, when in reality Naruto also behaved like an idiot most of the times in Part 1. But the difference here is, her foolish behaviour ended up as an Hindrance all the times whereas Naruto never gives up, stands tall and fight back.

BLOCKING A MONSTER WITH JUST A KUNAI

I know, Love makes you do foolish stuffs. But those things should help others in some way, not to cause more troubles. Kishi could’ve easily made her use some paper bombs, shurikens and exchange 4 or 5 moves and he could’ve made her knocked out after trying out everything from her side. But there was not even single scope for her. 

I remember Temari exchanged few blows with Sasuke, that’s not in the manga. She even pushed him to use Chidori, his ultimate technique at that time. So, The Anime team could write something for Temari but not for Sakura???

APPROACHING 4 TAILED NARUTO WITHOUT ANY PLAN

Yeah, I thought of adding this to the good part. But still, this is a sooper foolish move by a Ninja who was trained by Tsunade for 3 years. But what irritates me more was, She openly said, ‘I will save Sasuke-kun for you’.... But later when they met Sasuke in Orochimaru Lair, she didn’t do a shit for Naruto. Only Sai came forward to block Sasuke’s sword... Pffftt...... All talk and No work. AGAIN.

KILLING A SNAKE WITH A POISON

I am sorry for this dramatic title. Sasuke was not a snake. It was already removed by Itachi. But, As her fans claim that Sakura was the intelligent person among her teammates, She once told Kakashi that she noticed Sasuke got stronger but not by normal means. It was through some drugs and forbidden jutsu. 

But all of a sudden, she forgot all the facts she remembers and decided to kill Sasuke with just a Poisoned Kunai. Gurrrlllll!!!! That guy was with Orochimaru for the past 3 years. Can’t you put 2+2 together to know he would be immune to poison??? Don’t you know anything other than Kunai??? What about Shuriken and your own specialized weapon???? Yeah, I know you are a Doctor but Kabuto had some Scalpel as his weapon.

ATTACKING MADARA WITHOUT ANY PLAN

You all have no idea, how much I cringed at this scene on many different levels. Here Madara, already became powerful and even Naruto and Sasuke are no match yet. But this idiot, had the gall to run towards him without any plan or weapons or any special offensive jutsu. She thought her punch would land on him. Added to this, she had some generous yearning that she couldn’t catch up with her teammates in terms of skills, as if she worked hard like those two boys.  

She did this foolish attack for only one reason. And that’s to impress Sasuke and do romance with him.

SAKURA - THE  ANNOYING SELF INSERTING THIRD WHEEL OF TEAM 7

Am being honest here. I didn’t write this section with some romantic lens. I genuinely felt she was always coming in between these guys whenever they argue, right from the beginning. It’s as if she thinks that she has the power to stop both the boys when in reality, she could do batshit. 

The problem is that she always tries to repress Naruto. Like she wants Naruto to obey Sasuke just like her. God!!! Why is she this annoying???

THIRD WHEELING MOMENT - 1

Well, who is this fucking donkey to beat Naruto? Sasuke himself was strangely quiet. LOL. 

THIRD WHEELING MOMENT - 2

Nothing to say!!! But I always notice, no matter how much she interferes, the scene ends with them fighting it out. 

THIRD WHEELING MOMENT - 3

Whenever Naruto goads Sasuke... Sakura, this Asshole tries to stop Naruto from arguing further and wants him to obey Sasuke-kun just like her because she is a Sasuke simp who likes to wipe Sasuke’s invisible tears endlessly and she wants everyone to be a Sasuke Simp.

THIRD WHEELING MOMENT - 4

Why the fuck she is going in between their ultimate jutsus??? Does she have any braincell... I mean what did she want to accomplish here anyway???? 

I am happy that Kakashi stopped. Her Self-Inserting & delusional fans are even worst shits in this world. They are spouting shits like, ‘Naruto and Sasuke desperately want to avoid Sakura and hence they were worried’... Grrr...

SAKURA - THE HORNY LADY ON HEAT

Her fans are claiming Sakura proposed Sasuke with a platonic relationship in mind. Well, canonically their kween proves us otherwise. Kiss, Dick perversion are not platonic. Maybe we live in a different world I guess.

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 1

When she was wetting over him in as early as Episode 3, I thought they would have shared some history before this, like they always knew each other when they were very small kids. But Nope!!!!

This is another Horny moment from the same chapter and it was called back 16 years later in Gaiden when she was expecting a Kiss from Sasuke.... Nice Kishi!!!!!

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 2

God!!! This should have been an amazing episode. This girl spoiled my experience whenever she appears. I really hoped this horny girl would take this test seriously. But all she ever gave a damn was about Sasuke and Sasuke alone. It was so pathetic man!!! 

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 3

I wish this should have been in the Anime. 

And they say, Sakura’s love for Sasuke was purely platonic. 

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 4

I don’t know what Teamwork Sakura meant to do with Sasuke!!!! It clearly doesn’t sound cute!!! Thank God!!! Sasuke dissed her mercilessly.

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 5

I really thought Sakura was being genuine, you know. Trying to stop Sasuke from going on a Rampage. But only to shat on my face in the very next scene that she did this because she wanted to hug him. Ewww!!! 

Every moment was sexual for Sakura... And same with her fans. 

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 6

There are many shippers who started to ship Sakura with Naruto when Shippuden started. It was okay. But how do they ship her with Naruto when Sakura looks at Sasuke like this???? Just why???? This is actually a look you give at someone you yearned for a long time... And that’s why this moment is something Naruto remembered while rejecting Sakura’s fake confession. Because he was also yearning to see Sasuke. 

If only Sakura gave this kind of look to Naruto.... There’s a reason in shipping them....

Thanks to Sasuke!!! He didn’t give a flying fuck about her!!! 

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 7

This is where Sakura’s rabidity got to the point where she wanted to mate with someone so badly. This war arc was disgusting whenever she appeared.

You horny idiot, there’s a war going on. This girl is looking at him like she wants to eat him!!! Grrr... No. 

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 8

You know why I don’t consider Hashirama’s compliment about Sakura as a good thing?. It’s because of her horniness. She started to punch some useless fodders and then immediately stopped to wet over Sasuke, ignoring Naruto’s help as well....

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 9

In one of the section above, I’ve written that this scene made me cringe on many different levels. She approached without a plan, like a fool. Now when she couldn’t finish the mess she started, she was helped by Naruto, as always. 

But why is she expecting Sasuke’s attention??? What happened for her to get so horny at this moment??? If only Sasuke had asked, ‘Are you okay?’, then would she have kissed him on that spot???? 

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT -10

This fake smile clearly shows she didn’t trust him. Then why lying??? Why can’t she say the truth that ‘I don’t know!!!’ Because she clearly don’t know Sasuke’s motivation and yet she wants to defend him. And there’s no real reason for her to do this other than.... You know. 

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 11

So, your friend Ino lost his father, your friend Naruto lost his arm, I didn’t see you talking to him in that chapter at all. Which means you just ignored both of them because you got your Sasuke ready for ‘Reproduction Mode’ rather than a ‘Killing Mode’ Sasuke, Your village has lost many shinobis during the war. They could use your skills. 

But your priority???? Sasuke’s Dick!!!! Which is very evident because, you blush at him shamelessly!!! God!!! Are you even a human being???

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 12

Yeah!!! There are some peeps who shamelessly say, ‘Sakura is a Good Mother’ but why couldn’t she bring her daughter here to arrange a meeting with Sasuke??? I know Sarada was just 6 or 7 at this point of time.... Because she wanted all of Sasuke-kun’s attention for herself....

LADY ON HEAT MOMENT - 13

This is pretty evident, huh!!! This entire Gaiden Arc looked like some dark comedy skit for me. 

First, Abandonment for a decade. 

Second, Emotional mistreatment of child by her mother. 

Third, Child looks like Karin. 

Fourth, no marriage proof or ceremony. 

Fifth, No lovely candid couple photo but taping her sorry face on Karin. 

Sixth, Sasuke got to meet his family only because of Sarada’s insistence not because of Sasuke’s willingness. 

Seventh, Sasuke couldn’t identify his own daughter. 

Eighth, Sakura couldn’t even remember whether Sasuke wore glasses. 

Ninth, Awkward family dinner.

Tenth, Baby laboured in Orochimaru Hideout.

Eleventh, Forehead Poke

Twelfth, Horny display by a female bird but male bird ran away looking shocked.

SAKURA - THE ANNOYING CRY BABY

CRYING AFTER SEEING NARUTO AND SASUKE FIGHT ON ROOF TOP

May I know why is this girl crying???? Did it help anyone???? Or Did she cry because Sasuke was angry???

CRYING IS ALL I DID IN THIS ARC

Grrrr..... These Sakura wankers wanks about 'Read Manga!!! Read Manga!!!'... And when I did, this idiot didn't even make the food pills that she made in that Anime.

All she ever did was cry about Sasuke and do nothing, whereas Naruto was frustrated about how to add Change of Chakra Form and Change of Chakra Nature into Rasengan.

CRYING AFTER SASUKE JOINING AKATSUKI

Karui should have smashed her into pieces... And she was right!!! 

Someone was spitting truth to her face that Sasuke kidnapped her master. Instead of standing strong and refuting the claim or hearing the story entirely and make a rational decision, she is crying like a crow!!!! Karui should be the one to cry!!!

Her shitty behaviour didn’t stop here actually. When Naruto said he would take care of this situation, She jussssstttttt left!!!!! She should’ve been with Naruto like Sai, isn’t it???? God!!! Sai is more of a good friend to Naruto than this Pink Trash ever was!!!

CRYING AFTER PEOPLE STARTS CALL HER OUT FOR HER SELFISHNESS

I loved this scene actually because everyone was starting to ganging up on her, but her behaviour was cringe level-S !!!! All she did was droop her head and cry miserably. Her minions call this scene as emotional manipulation, when in reality, it’s not!!! Sai and Shikamaru were spitting the reality that everybody was dumping their responsibilities on Naruto. Nobody is trying to help him. Which was why Sai was asking her to do something.  

If she really loved Sasuke, she should have defended him before everyone. Instead she believed the words of the people who don’t know anything about Sasuke. Well, Sai never knew anything about Sasuke. He was empathizing with Naruto’s situation and he was right in his own way. But Sakura???? Even though she was with those boys in the same team, she never knew anything about anyone!!! Gross!!! This girl is the real spoilsport of Team 7. I hate Team 7 because of this Trash!!!

And what did she do next????

She Cried!!!! Throughout!!!!!!! And came up with a terrible plan which I don’t want to include in this section.

CRYING WHEN HEALING KARIN

She was crying as if Sasuke once loved her so deeply but now he couldn’t even recognize her. Oh!!! Boyy.... This girl is deluded on many levels and who gave her the right to end Sasuke’s life???? Alright, for some reason you decided to kill him, as if you are a top class Ninja!!! Gross, her skills are pretty pathetic!!!... And why are you deceiving him that you will betray Konoha???

CRYING IN THE LAVA PIT

I wish, this girl wakes up from her dream atleast here. Sasuke clearly told Naruto, to not save them because they are useless. And this trash heard it and started to cry. After this, what happened???? She still started to behave like a horny dog!! Am sorry, this is some toxic piece of shit who clearly have no self-respect and will go behind him, no matter what he does!!! She will never correct his mistakes nor she dares to question him.

SAKURA - THE INSENSITIVE & SELFISH ASSHOLE

This Pink Haired Trash is the face of this section throughout the series. No one could take her place. There were time I considered Madara or Obito to be those insensitive bastards who used people like tools for their own selfish purposes. But, atleast they were honest and very sensitive towards atleast 1 person at some point in their life. For Madara, it was his brother, Izuna and Hashirama. 

For Obito, it was Rin and Kakashi. 

Can we name atleast one person with whom Sakura was honest??? and sensitive towards their feelings??? I really can’t. 

THROWING AWAY INO’S FRIENDSHIP

Sakura is the most ungrateful character in the entire series. Even the worst villains in this series were loyal to someone and would never betray them but Sakura did threw Ino into a Garbage to pursue the dick of another boy who don’t even know her existence. 

What a pathetic character she is!!!

NOT CHEERING UP FOR NARUTO IN CHUNIN EXAMS

Kakashi taught the meaning of Team Work long back in Episode 5 or 6. Why can’t this idiot not even consider Naruto as her team mate atleast for once in her life? Again Ino is also similar to Sakura.. She has no reason to give 2 shits about Naruto because she wasn’t part of his Team. But when she started to speak some sense, I can’t simply stop appreciating Ino in that scene. Because she is the one who was making Sakura to come back to senses and asks her to cheer up for Naruto. Poor Naruto!!! He didn’t have anyone to support him from his team there!!! 

And where is Sakura’s senses?

Yeah!!! On Sasuke kun’s Dick!!! 

PROPOSAL - 1

So, the people who read my posts regularly know that I watched some K-Dramas before. I really hoped Sasuke would be that K-Drama bastard who would melt on hearing a woman’s painful & teary confession and stop his dark journey towards Orochimaru. Or atleast give her some Good Bye Kiss after knocking her out or some longing look and shit. Because usually the stone cold hero would always, no matter what, I mean no matter what happens, he would listen to the girl who always showers him with love and melt at one point. 

I genuinely thought this confession would be that moment. 

God!!! What a fool I am. [Sorry Sasuke!!! I shouldn’t have doubted you at all]

But anyways, my point is, the confession started out good. Revenge will never end in a good way and especially killing their own brother... [Kill Bill movie said Hello!!!]

Sakura telling him not to pursue that path was okay. 

But the moment that Asshole started to spout shits like, ‘It won’t give you happiness... Nor me’ ‘Take me with you, I’ll make you happy. Without you I’ll be lonely like you lost your family’ ..... Grrrrrr!!!!!!

I have no idea how could someone think about romance even in that situation. If she genuinely loved him, she should have stopped him with all her might just like Naruto did. But she was spouting with the intention of romance and shit to satisfy her own selfish desires.

Nope!!!! This is not immaturity as many would claim. Am really sorry. I know how an immature person behaves, I mean, no matter the situation, they behave very childish and they shows some innocence. Whereas in Sakura’s case, it was neither Childish nor Innocent!!! It was full of satisfying her own selfish sexual desires. I am sorry when an Academy graduated Ninja wants to see the dick of a person, I can’t take this proposal as something Innocent.

I’LL FEED YOU ONLY WHEN YOU BRING SASUKE-KUN

She shouldn’t have expended her precious energy on feeding Naruto. Like THERE WAS NO NEED. He wasn’t even asking her. Why did she bother to feed him?

Because Naruto doesn’t give two shits about his health and was hell bent on using Futon : Rasen Shuriken at the expense of losing his hand, even though it was forbidden to use. Because that jutsu carries so many risks. And Naruto told Sakura that, ‘We are getting closer to Sasuke, day by day’. Now Sakura felt reassured and starts to feed Naruto.

Why?

Because she was happy that she will eventually get Sasuke’s dick one day. Who cares about Naruto’s health? Let him die. 

God!!!!!!!!! This scene carries multiple-level selfishness and I feel like breaking my laptop now. 

Why can’t she feed him without any expectations or without the thought of Sasuke??? Can’t she be nice to Naruto for once without bringing the context of Sasuke????

So, if Naruto gives up on Sasuke, she wouldn’t have done this. Would she??

Selfish Asshole!!!

HUGGING NARUTO AFTER DEFEATING PAIN

This is the true meaning of Self-Insertion. 

What a horrible person she is!!!!! No, I am not against Hugging. But the timing of her hug is too horrible.

Look, The entire village is celebrating Naruto and they recognized his powers now. I am happy for him. And also, I was happy with the villagers behaviour towards Naruto. Because that’s how the real world will be. You prove something and eventually people will recognize you. They are, after all, the outsiders. That’s the behaviour to be expected, because they don’t know anything about you. 

Was Sakura, a stranger to Naruto???? Nope. 

Why did she took this much time to hug him??? I know that hug is just friendly. So, Just when the villagers recognize Naruto, she wants to show off before everyone that she supports Naruto like a shitty self-insert. Whereas Naruto really required someone’s hug after coming back with a pained body from the Valley of the End, in part 1. He was bandaged throughout the body with so many wounds. If Sakura gave a friendly hug at that time, it would mean a great boost for Naruto. But She didn’t. 

So, she is just like those villagers. She never knew anything about Naruto but when he achieved a Hero status, she just wants to attach to him like a caterpillar. God!!! Even Iruka was standing at a distance and admiring Naruto, I teared up a lot for that scene. Even Kakashi was admiring Naruto from a distance. Because that’s what genuine friends do. This poisonous person wants to take the Heroine status without emotionally supporting Naruto with anything whereas people who really supported Naruto was watching him with tears.

And what about Hinata? You literally knew she loves Naruto!!! Why are you hugging Naruto before her face like this???? Will you be okay with Ino hugging Sasuke???

[[This doesn’t mean I care about Hinata or anything... I just hate her just as much as this idiot... But knowing full well about someone’s feelings, and all of a sudden Sakura felt the uncontrollable urge to show her Friendship to Naruto before everyone.... DOESN’T FEEL GENUINE AT ALL... It feels like she wants to show her superiority ass like, ‘I own this slave who loves me’. If Sakura was the person who developed the dynamics to hug Naruto right from Part 1... Then it’s all Okay]]

[[I know narratively, The Author wanted to spite Hinata and that’s why he did that... But still]]

Two-Faced Self Inserty Insensitive Ass nonetheless!!!! 

YELLING AT NARUTO AFTER JIRAIYA’S DEATH

I think about this scene a lot. Like, why the fucking hell Sakura is shouting at Naruto here? Maybe I already hated her, so I let my bias to include this scene here. But Fuck No!!!!! She literally should’ve kept her fucking mouth shut up, just like Sai and Kakashi. 

She shouts, ‘Where are you going?’

Well, to go sing song and piss on top of the mountain as if nothing happened. You stupid Asshole, Don’t you know, Naruto spent 3 years with him and if he heard the news of Jiraiya’s death, how should he supposed to react??? By laughing at your stupid jokes??? Ms. Sakura, Unlike you who dissed your Master, Naruto is not such an insensitive person.

Alright, you yelled at him. Fine!!! Did you even try to console him??? That boy was crying rivers waking up at midnight. But somehow, Iruka found him and consoled him. 

Leave Iruka. Atleast Shikamaru cared enough about Naruto and made him come back to his senses. But what the fuck were you doing? Yeah, Standing like a doll throughout the whole arc and hug Naruto before everyone when the time is right. Why couldn’t you hug Naruto now and console him?? 

LEAVING KIBA, LEE AND SAI KNOCKED OUT IN THE ROAD

Atleast up until this point, Sakura was nice towards Lee. While I don’t mistake her intention to knock these guys out. But why use them like a Toilet Brush and dump in the road? Can’t she lift them up and put them under some bush or something, so that they are not exposed to enemies? Atleast Kakashi cared about them and moved them somewhere safe. 

So when it comes to Sasuke, the entire world is nothing before this vile trash. I wonder if she would do the same for Naruto as well. No wonder, Sakura is never a good friend for anyone and in this arc, she just played a ‘bitch’ to Lee. And for people who says, Sakura should’ve married Lee.... No, Lee doesn’t deserve a trash like her.

YELLING AT NARUTO GETTING SLEEPY AFTER THE FAILED ATTEMPT OF POISONING

Look, Am not interested in Karin at all. But atleast she just put Sakura in her place in this scene. This Pink trash was supposed to cure Naruto but why the hell she is yelling at him for feeling Sleepy, when it was her mistake in the first place. Geez!!! She really is a bitch towards Naruto. Why can’t she behave like a good and nice friend for atleast once in this series??

Like you people can claim this is just for comical relief. I can agree with one or two scenes but Sakura  just went too overboard with this comical relief and I can’t stand any of it now. 

TRYING TO APPROACH SASUKE WITH LIES

I don’t know who gave her the right to kill Sasuke, but anyways she decided to do it. I would’ve respected her if she manages to put a scratch on him. But God!!! She is just a worst Ninja in the entire Narutoverse who only talks but never did anything useful. She couldn’t even deflect Sasuke’s Chidori who wasn’t using Sharingan!!! 

Leave that aside, Why couldn’t she ask Sasuke, the most important question, ‘Why are you doing this’? 

This conversation is the dynamics of this shitty pair and this exists today even in Borutoverse. Sakura saying, ‘I don’t care’ is one of the cringiest and insensitive words in this series because Sasuke is undergoing a lot of pain at that moment and saying these words just drives me off the rail all the time!!!!

SAKURA - THE BADMOUTHING ASSHOLE

Even in this section, Naruto takes the top spot when it comes to how Sakura treated Naruto poorly all along. And there are some shippers who ships Sakura with Naruto!!!! Just Stop doing it!!

ORPHAN INSULT 

There are many people who defends Sakura that ‘She is an immature girl who was self-absorbed into her own world and hence she let out such words. But later, she realized her mistakes. If you hate her because of this one incident then you never read the Manga properly and this proves you are reading Selectively.’

My answer to them is ‘Keep this nonsensical apologies to your dumpster brain.’

This scene is not all about insensitivity (Well, it is). Otherwise I would’ve put this scene under that section. 

This scene’s motivation is that Sakura wanted to initiate a conversation with Sasuke. Usually when we have to initiate friendship with others, we always talk about our mutual likes and dislikes. And when 2 people dislikes the same thing, then they become friends... 

Here Sakura is doing the same, she thought Sasuke hates Naruto because he always picks fight with him. Sakura hates Naruto because she felt he was coming in between Sakura and Sasuke. This asshole really thought that Sasuke will be attracted to her because of mutual feelings. 

Boy!!! She was wrong on many levels here. 

First off, Sasuke never hated Naruto. 

Second off, Sasuke was also an Orphan.

Third off, Sakura don’t even know anything about this and yet she already wants to get inside his pants. 

It’s just bad on many levels. And she never realized that talking bad about someone’s upbringing was wrong. She only realized calling someone ‘Annoying’ was wrong because Sasuke roasted her. Otherwise she would keep on doing this shit throughout. 

And remember I said that this scene is not about Insensitivity?. Because much later in the Land of the Waves arc, Sakura proved it otherwise. 

In this scene you can clearly see Naruto was calling out Inari as a Crybaby. Well, it is true. He was just very hostile towards Team Kakashi like a brat and just because of his sad story, it doesn’t give a free pass to insult everyone around him. So, Naruto got pissed off and called him out. 

But still Inari is a little child. Naruto’s words are harsh but necessary. Because Naruto knew that Inari was suffering because of the loss of his father and he doesn’t want Inari to wail in sadness forever. 

And Sakura yelled at Naruto that, ‘This is too much’... Well, for once I agree with Sakura here. 

So, this scene proves that Sakura isn’t that insensitive or self-absorbed in her own world or Kishimoto did her dirty as her fanatics claims to be. She is nice and knows how to conduct herself before others. But she purposefully, intentionally, deliberately chose to be a bitch towards Naruto. So, claiming her as immature is not something I will accept.

DOUBTING SHIKAMARU 

Why couldn’t she trust anyone in this world??? I’ve never seen her trust Sasuke completely either. Probably because she knew she herself was not trustworthy in the first place and projects her shitty world view on everyone!!!

DOUBTING NARUTO AFTER GETTING SAVED FROM GAARA

Again, Sasuke is clearly telling her Naruto saved her. Still underestimating him like an asshole. I always wonder as to how many times Naruto has to prove this Asshole that he is stronger???? Kiba, Shikamaru, Neji all recognized his strength at the end of Chunin Exams.. Because Naruto beat Konoha’s top Genin in a battle fair and square, to which even Sakura acknowledged that She was feeling jealous and yet in this scene, she couldn’t trust him at all because, ‘Sasuke-kun could do nothing wrong... ooops Sorry, could never be defeated by anyone....’

This Girl has no capability to see the truth for herself, not one time, unless Sasuke gives the ‘Stamp of Approval’... Be it when giving the Lunch in the Bell Test, Be it when insulting Naruto for being an Orphan, Be it when underestimating Naruto.. She will accept him only when Sasuke makes her understand...

DISSING TSUNADE

Like she really had the gall to diss her Master when she couldn’t even able to surpass her at anything other than being Horny... 

This is Haruno Sakura being an S-Class dumb Asshole by dissing her Master, another woman, who lifted her up from being an useless piece of shit to being little useful and yet without being thankful for that, she is flaunting about the fact that “My master was keeping her ‘Youthful Looks’ by spending her Chakra for something ‘Useless’ whereas I don’t have to waste Chakra like that”

If you could be this much Arrogant then why couldn’t you even save Shikamaru??? Also, even though Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he still respected his skills, you know... 

WANTING SAI TO INSULT INO

Nothing to say here... ‘If I suffer for something.... I will drag down others as well’

Nice manners, Sakura dear!!!!

SAKURA - THE MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE

FAKE PROPOSAL 

Yeah, Yeah.... I know, Naruto also lied to himself by asking for Fake dates to Sakura couple of times... for which I criticized him as well. But what Sakura did was totally an Asshole behaviour which can’t be compared with what Naruto did to her. 

Sasuke-kun.... Him....

Rogue Ninja.....

Sasuke-kun....

Sasuke-kun... He’s become....

Firstly, her pathetic proposal was full of Sasuke’s references everywhere, almost 5. In which world, someone would propose a person by constantly citing & comparing with another person???? It’s like she is saying, ‘The Other Guy is not that great and that’s why I prefer you... You are everything he is not...’

Secondly, She is using Naruto’s feelings to stop him from whatever he was doing because she doesn’t want to be responsible if Naruto ended up dying while saving Sasuke... It’s like, ‘If you love me, please stop doing this...’... 

‘Well, Fool.... It was never about you at all..’

Thirdly, She was getting angry when Naruto rejected her proposal... “Well, Ms. Pinky... What gave you the audacity to get mad at Naruto when you yourself are doing something disgusting??”

I hate NaruS*k*s who defends Sakura’s behaviour by saying Sakura was being honest here... 

SAKURA’S SECOND PROPOSAL

Sakura wankers always build up this non-sense that Sakura was the most important person in Team 7 for whom both of the boys were going Gaga about... They both fought VoTE2 for Sakura’s feelings And yet, why is it that every time Sakura proposes someone, it was always rejected by the opposite person????

Once again Sakura was using her precious feelings to stop her beloved Sasuke-kun from treading into that dark path... 

“Sakura, You Asshole!!! When you compare.... Naruto with Sasuke, Naruto was the one who actually appreciated and cared about your safety more than Sasuke will ever do for you.... It doesn’t mean Naruto loves you or anything... He is just nice that way to everyone... If You don’t even have a fucking influence on Naruto, What makes you think that Sasuke would listen to your words after all these years???”

Now I know how you forced Sasuke into this marriage by chasing him relentlessly... 

-

-

So, Yeah..... Sakura, the so-called Main Character's Good Moments are totaled to just 9, imo.... I don't count that time she helped Naruto to duck down from Zabuza's blade in Land of the Wave arc and that time in the War Arc where she was seen worrying about Naruto expending Kurama's Chakra.... Because, I guess these are just some basic human decency to which I don't have to put it in 'Good' moments....

But Boy!!! She has 65+ Bad moments which totally negates every good thing she ever did before.. I mean mathematically Sakura was like, "I'll do 1 Good thing which will be followed by 6 bad stuffs... Deal with it and please Love me".... Like, I don't understand how people are expecting this character to get development which I never noticed at any point in this story.

And they say, “You hate Sakura because she comes in the way of your Ship”... No You Assholes, I already hated her from Frame 1 and she never gave me a chance to like her.

In a Series, where Villains are designed to be likeable and relatable... Sakura was written to be Hated all throughout and now I understand why the Author wrote Gaiden in that way... I am sure he must have been extremely pissed about the fact that he was forced to write his most hated character Sakura to marry his favourite character, Sasuke. And that's why he mocked her to the Oblivion.

So Yes, I hate Sakura because she is an Insensitive, Annoying, Useless, Horny, Repulsive, Hypocritic, Selfish, Double-Faced, Manipulative Asshole who just irritated me to no end.

[ladykissingfish]

the Akatsuki's reactions to it being their birthday

Deidara: Although it wouldn’t seem like it, Deidara has a profound fear of aging. He lives his life through his vision of what true art is, and to him, that means things that don’t have longevity. In short, getting old isn’t artistic. He prefers to pretend his birthday is just another day, and if anyone (except for Konan, because she’s the only Akatsuki member he doesn’t find ‘annoying’) is stupid enough to bring it up to him, he’ll hurl a bomb at that person with no hesitation.

Kisame: Kisame is genuinely unsure as to when his actual birthday is, although he vaguely believes it’s sometime in the spring. It’s not really important to him either way; half-humans don’t view aging the same as full-humans. If he DID know the day, he’d likely spend it going for a dip in the ocean, something that he hasn’t done in a long time. Sasori: Birthday? Aging? What does that even mean? Sasori has been 15 years old for 20 years now, and that situation isn’t changing anytime soon. He’ll patiently suffer through Happy Birthday wishes from others, but to him, the concept has no significance. Itachi: Birthdays = pain. If not out on a mission, Itachi will spend the entire day in his room, in the dark, remembering the birthdays of his other life. His mother making his favorite cabbage. His father cracking one of his rare smiles as he presents his oldest son with a new, hand-crafted kunai. Sasuke’s face smeared with the dumplings he bought for his nii-san that he had to try one of ‘to make sure they weren’t poisoned’. Itachi is young but he commands respect from his Akatsuki peers, and they honor his wishes to be left alone on this day. Tobi/Obito: As Tobi, he lets everybody know it’s his birthday. He runs around all day practically overdosing on sweets and revelling in the attention he gets (it’s the one day of the year the rest of the Akatsuki, EVEN DEIDARA, attempts to be nice to him). But as Obito — he’s having a complete existential crisis. How did he get here? How did he go from the sweet, well-meaning young boy from Konaha to this? This ... this monster, this empty shell? Is any of this even worth it anymore? Even if infinite tsukuyomi is successfully launched, in his heart he knows that none of it matters. Illusions and dreams are not reality. Rin will stay dead, and even if she wasn’t, she would never have loved him anyway. If things had gone another way perhaps he could have been Hokage by now, and he would receive visits from Rin, Kakashi and their children. But maybe it’s not too late. Maybe he can somehow form an alliance with Itachi, and together they can take down Madara and end this brutal lifestyle. The two can return to the Leaf, they can find mates, they can initiate the revival of their clan. Maybe — but then somebody offers Tobi some candy and Obito has to shelve his breakdown and do something appropriately childish.

Kakuzu: When you have as many birthdays as Kakuzu has had, eventually they stop having meaning. He’s alive and breathing, that’s all that matters to him. He doesn’t see any reason to do anything special, but if he’s in a good mood (and it doesn’t cost him much) he MIGHT treat himself to a high-end meal of monkfish liver and sake. Zetsu: Doesn’t remember it’s his birthday until days after the fact. Doesn’t really celebrate but might treat himself to a few fresh corpses as a treat. Hidan: The Jashinist sees no point in birthdays. Why count one’s age when one is immortal?? He might go out and procure more sacrifices for Lord Jashin as a way to give thanks for his never-ending life, but that’s as far as the ‘celebration’ goes. Pein: Gods do not have birthdays. There is no beginning or end to what is eternal. Konan: Does not want special treatment, but, as the Akatsuki’s only woman, receives it regardless. Every member makes it a point to either give her a small gift, or at the very least, a hug. She tries to act annoyed or embarrassed but really, she’s flattered. Doesn’t know that the reason the others “remembered” her birthday is because Nagato (as Pein) holds a

secret meeting on the subject about a week beforehand. Nagato may be a “God” but he wouldn’t even be alive if it hadn’t been for Konan’s strength and kindness back when they were kids, and it’s something he intends to repay in any way he can. But truthfully even if Pein hadn’t reminded everyone, if they had found out on their own, their treatment of Konan wouldn’t have been any different. Although murderous and dysfunctional they are a family, and Konan garners the respect of being the family’s matriarch.

[fictionliv-ing]

Akatsuki in College

Deidara:

First year art major with a minor in sculpture. That guy in the back of the class who seems like he does nothing but laze around. He’s actually really talented and aces every single class he’s in. Spends majority of his time in the sculpting room, so much that his friends have to come in and bring him food, just to make sure he eats well. It comes as no surprise to other art majors to see freshman Tobi skip into the sculpting room to bring Deidara an entire meal and multiple bottles of water. Most of his sculptures resemble woodland creatures, his personal favorites being birds and spiders. Sometimes like to set them on fire in the quadrangle for no reason at all.

When he’s not working on a sculpture for class, he can be found in the dorms where he’s probably animatedly debating with his roommate Sasori over the true meaning of art. Sometimes their arguments get so boisterous and explosive that their neighbor Pein has to poke his head in and yell at them to shut up. He secretly admires Sasori’s robots, anyway.

Sasori:

Postgraduate chemical engineering major with a minor in robotics. A silent worker. Slouches in his seat a lot, so even if he’s seated in the front row, no one realizes that he’s in their class until two months into the semester. One of the smartest kids in class, but not the easiest to work with because he scares everyone else away; definitely not a team player. One of the handful of graduate students that chose to dorm on campus because he’d hate to waste time commuting home everyday. Likes to make little robot prototypes for future projects in his spare time. Has had to stop himself from slipping some poison into Deidara’s drink about 328742374 times- but in his defense, it’s not his fault that the kid believes in all the wrong views of art.

Doesn’t really have time to socialize, but he does have time to spy on his long-time enemy, university researcher and biochemistry professor Orochimaru. He will never forget the day Orochimaru gave him the only B+ he’s ever gotten in his life. Unforgiveable. Despite being rather antisocial, he’s taken a liking to his neighbor’s friend Itachi, but maybe that’s because Itachi once proved Orochimaru wrong during one of the latter’s special classes in research ethics.

Itachi:

Third year philosophy major. Campus heartthrob. Always gets teased by his friends, Hidan and Kisame, for being so popular with the ladies, even though he’d rather just study quietly in the library. Occasionally gets dragged out by Kisame to go shopping for sports equipment, or Hidan, who wants to party.

Incredibly smart and analytical. Is always at the top of every class. Gives the best presentations, writes perfect papers, fully immerses himself in lectures- professors light up when they see Itachi walk into their classroom. Has everyone wrapped around his finger, though he never abuses it. Very kind and respectful. Is the type to quietly help others out, always patiently explaining confusing concepts to his classmates and catching nearby strangers when they clumsily trip over their own feet. The only one in his friend group that doesn’t stay at the dorms; he goes home after class every day (to the disappointment of his many fangirls) and spends his evenings helping his brother with his math homework.

Kisame:

Postgraduate sports science major. Founder of the campus swimming team. He’s big and bulky and likes to coach the swim team sometimes. The freshmen are all scared of him, but he’s the reason why they end up so great. While he’s not coaching the younger students, he’s catching up on his readings, writing his papers, and convincing Itachi to accompany him in buying new swimming trunks.

Likes talking to his roommate Pein and hearing about his microbiology ideas, and is somehow always able to make a connection with his own field of study. Occasionally comes up with research topics that they can work on together, but never actually pushes through with them because of Pein’s busy schedule. Sometimes falls victim to Hidan’s shirtless horny dancing during parties, and has to help Itachi drag Hidan home.

Hidan:

Third year theology major. Not the biggest fan of studying; he’s honestly surprised to have made it this far just by borrowing notes and copying off of his classmates here and there. He’s taking theology because he wants a better understanding of the deities that rule this earth and to find someone in this universe to look up to and worship. Despite the stereotypical ‘good boy’ standard that comes with being a theology major, Hidan isn’t shy about defying the stereotype. He’s everyone’s dealer and is that guy on campus who’ll have a thermos full of alcohol instead of water. Has incredibly high alcohol tolerance, though it doesn’t take him much to start acting crazy. Always present at every party. Takes “the party don’t start ‘till I walk in” phrase quite literally. If you think you’re having fun at a party, you haven’t partied with Hidan yet. “Yet” because you’re bound to at some point.

Likes to drag Itachi around to parties because he knows that Itachi’s not the drinking type, so Hidan can rely on him to drive him home safely. Teases Itachi for being popular with the ladies and goes out of his way to steal his friend’s fangirls for himself. Likes to take off his shirt randomly (he claims it’s a flirting technique.), much to Itachi and Kisame’s dismay, but Hidan’s never shy about it because his self confidence is that high.

Kakuzu:

Former finance professor. He retired years ago, but he contributed so much to the university’s finance department that he often gets invited to hold classes and lectures. Reluctantly goes to give talks to lesser minds. Would rather be balancing his books at home instead. Still invests in stocks and bonds and that kind of shit, he’s all about making money. Wants to be buried with his money when he dies (like, with the money inside his coffin, and not just in the ground with him- he specified it in his will). Never got married, because they didn’t allow him to marry his bank account.

Pein:

Postgraduate microbiology major. Dorms with Kisame, who talks a lot about the inner workings of sports science (it actually helps him look at his field of study in a different perspective so he doesn’t mind Kisame’s blabbering). Focuses his papers on cloning and stuff like that because he wants to successfully clone humans one day. Doesn’t know why….he just finds it cool.

Close friends with Nagato and Konan, though he spends most of his time in the library or in his dorm room, always studying. Konan and Nagato like to drop by sometimes to bring food and convince him to take a break. Lives right next door to Deidara and Sasori who argue a lot, so he ends up leaving his room just to yell at them to shut up. Pein values his study time like no other- he just wants to master everything and successfully prove that his brain is better than everyone else’s.

Konan:

Postgraduate design major. The living embodiment of “Aestheticism is the only thing worth pursuing.” Has a very strong grunge aesthetic, her closet is a combination of black, grey, navy, and maroon. Likes to color her hair a lot; some days she’ll be a redhead, then the next week, she’ll have hair the color of the sky on a rainy day. Because of this, she’s developed an extensive haircare routine, so her hair is always healthy. Dorms with Nagato, as they’ve been close friends since time immemorial, and often gets mistaken for being his girlfriend. Their neighbor Hidan likes to tease them about being sexually active together, and her only response is to blush madly and hit the side of his head hard enough to make him shut up.

Spends her time creating pieces to add to her portfolio and attending art workshops. At one point, she meets Deidara and is immediately intrigued by his sculptures. He invites her to visit the sculpting room and encourages her to try her hand at the medium. She discovers she doesn’t care much for stone and marble, but has fun working with malleable pieces of clay. This sparks her interest in origami and paper art. Nagato now comes home to a dorm full of paper cranes and paper butterflies.

Nagato:

Postgraduate philosophy major with a minor in world history. He likes to think about the rights and wrongs and many faces of the world. Befriends Itachi after meeting at a lecture and have been keeping in touch since then, talking about the flaws of this world. At some point, Itachi starts asking him for feedback on his papers and he becomes Itachi’s mentor. The Reason why Itachi is absolutely slaying his classes is because he gets advice from Nagato on how to improve his papers and make them So Good that his professors give him nothing less than an A.

Is roommates with Konan, who has been his best friend ever since they were small and adorable (he still thinks she’s small and adorable, though he would never admit that out loud.). Grunts in indifference and looks away whenever Hidan teases him and Konan about being together, and it’s only thanks to his long, red hair that his burning ears stay hidden. Always has shit to say about that kid during his weekly get-togethers with Konan and Tobi.

Tobi: 

Freshman psychology major. He decided to study psychology for fun and enrolled after getting his masters in management, which is why he’s older than all of his classmates. Doesn’t stop him from acting younger than his actual age, though. Likes to follow Deidara around (Deidara has a theory that Tobi only enrolled in psychology to learn how to effectively annoy people.) and marvel at his art.

Shares a dorm with Hidan, whose reactions are really funny, so Tobi makes sure to play lost and lots of pranks on his roomie. Always forgets that Hidan can get quite explosive when angered, and ends up having to run away from his roommate’s airborne kitchen knives. Befriends Nagato, and in extension, Konan as well. They like to spend Friday nights out together, usually at a chill bar, where they drink more than the appropriate amount of sake and complain about their neighbors, Deidara, Hidan, and Sasori (Kisame’s good, Kisame’s nice, they say.).

[gaasaku-fanfests]

Broken Hearts (Empty Grave)

Title: Broken Hearts (Empty Grave) Author: ofhealinglove Rating: T Word Count: 2,940 words Summary: Haruno Sakura was killed in action fighting Akasuna no Sasori. While Konoha grieves the loss of a beloved shinobi and friend, Gaara is keeping her safe and secreted away until she falls in love with him. He's the one who saved her. He's the one who brought her back from the brink of death. Konoha couldn't keep her safe, so he will. Forever. Trope: Yandere.

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Gaara attends the memorial for Haruno Sakura.

He, his siblings, and several council members who want to suck up to the grieving Hokage (they didn’t even know Sakura) travel the two days it takes to get to Konoha and stay for three days: one to rest and settle in, one for the memorial, and one for politicians to politick and Gaara to spend with Naruto, and then leave that evening.

The memorial is enormous; most of Konoha is in attendance. In her work at the hospital, Sakura had saved countless lives and it seems like there isn’t one family or friend her healing hadn’t affected in some way. The flowers come in all shapes and sizes; the mourners are genuine in their grief. ANBU, jounin, chuunin, genin—all of them have something to thank her for.

But it is the Konoha 11 that grieve the hardest. Some stoic, some with tears streaking down their faces, some still standing shell-shocked, like they can’t believe she’s really gone. These are the two blonds of the group, both with blue eyes: one is a Yamanaka kunoichi Sakura’s age, and the other is Naruto.

Gaara watches Naruto closely, a small part of his heart guilty for what’s happened. After all, it’s because of him that this memorial is taking place; if he had been strong enough to defend against the Akatsuki by himself, Sakura would never had fought Akasuna no Sasori—a criminal from his own village, at that—and been injured as she was.

There are other reasons why he feels guilty, but with a clan that has a mind-reading kekkei genkai in attendance, Gaara doesn’t dare to think of them.

The Godaime is one of the stoic ones, but there is more than that: she is furious. Gaara thinks, looking upon her face from his seat in the delegates box, that she has lost one person too many, and knows it when she announces all-out war against Sakura’s murderers.

Sakura’s death could have been prevented. Chiyo had been old and Sakura not ready to fight an Akatsuki with just a retired jounin at her side. They should have had back-up and they shouldn’t have been left alone, no matter what Chiyo said. When the old woman had crawled out of the wreckage of the fight, Sakura’s body lost to the cave-in and Sasori dead (by Sakura’s hand, Chiyo had solemnly emphasized with her head bowed, “I wouldn’t be alive without her,” and “She sacrificed herself for me”), Gaara heard that Hatake Kakashi, her team lead and jounin sensei, had just about killed her on the spot. It was only with the restraint of Maito Gai that Chiyo had been alive to revive Gaara, and Hatake still hasn’t recovered.

Naruto had told Gaara on the day of their arrival that “Kakashi-sensei” was on a two-month-long suspension and had mandated weekly appointments with a Yamanaka psychologist after he had attempted suicide, but Gaara had to keep it a secret.

(Gaara doesn’t feel guilt for that, not like he does for Naruto.)

After the memorial is over, everyone leaves except for the Suna shinobi and council, Konoha 11, and the Hokage and her assistant. They meet in a room in Hokage tower and drink and reminisce. Gaara doesn’t partake and doesn’t say anything. This isn’t a sad occasion for him, it’s a victory. While everyone else grieves over Haruno Sakura, Gaara doesn’t.

He knows she isn’t dead. She’s recovering in a secret room beneath the Kazekage manse, well enough that he was able to leave her alone for a few days.

Temari had said that Konoha deserved to know. Kankuro disapproved of what Gaara had done. But they’re both his brother and sister as well as shinobi of Sunagakure, loyal to him before all, and by the time they’d figured out what was going on, it would endanger the alliance to reveal the secret.

Now that the memorial is over and Haruno Sakura officially declared dead after weeks of excavating the rubble trying to find her body (long gone), there will be war if Sakura is ever discovered.

She won’t be, though. All the world needs to know is that she died a hero killing Akasuna no Sasori.

And Gaara is going to keep it that way if it kills him.

 When Gaara first noticed Haruno Sakura, she had been doing her best to defend Uchiha Sasuke and was going to pay for that with her life. She hadn’t been strong or particularly useful, either; just cannon fodder, likely as her council had intended. She squirmed and fought under his crushing sand but didn’t give up until she passed out from lack of air, but even in her unconsciousness, he had noticed that she still twitched against death like she was fighting to survive even when her mind was gone.

This had intrigued Shukaku and Gaara had hesitated, and then Naruto saved her life and changed his.

Shukaku had seen something in her, something he liked, and that was why Sakura had survived. Gaara had been fast enough even then to end her before Naruto arrived—it was Shukaku’s order to stop that had spared her.

Even moving forward on a different path to a different destiny, Shukaku kept going back to the pink-haired girl and Gaara found his interest piqued, as well. It started with wondering why Shukaku had hesitated, then soon enough, he was following the bijuu down the rabbit hole.

What led such a weak kunoichi to fight for her life like that? As soon as his sand was upon her, she had to know that it was over, and yet she struggled even near death. For a shinobi of some caliber, that was to be expected. To a pathetic little genin who hadn’t even made it past the preliminaries? It made no sense.

Naruto talked about her in his letters, and while Gaara did his best to be circumspect, he learned much about the kunoichi he’d grown so interested in. Shukaku praised every tidbit of information—except for the fact that she was in love with Uchiha Sasuke.

But he was kidnapped and she was killed in action.

After he was revived and Sasori defeated—they had found his body, or at least the splinters left of it—he thought he’d never see her again. Shukaku was gone but the obsession was not, and he had spent his time off during the rebuilding venting his fury deep in the desert.

That was how he found her.

 Sakura had not, in fact, been killed by Sasori’s poison.

When Gaara had found her, deep in the desert between Iwa and Suna going vaguely north, she had been grievously injured by the cave’s collapse, traces of poison flowing through her veins, fever, severe dehydration, and on death’s doorstep.

His first thought was that he was seeing a mirage but he went to her side anyways. Later, he found out she had kept herself alive through complex ninjutsu that she had subconsciously invented purely to survive just that much longer; her Will of Fire, but more importantly her will to live, had kept her going this long, delirious and confused and injured but alive.

She would have died within the day if he hadn’t found her.

Without hesitation, he hurried her back to Suna, but with hesitation, he didn’t take her to the hospital. He took her into the bunker beneath the Kazekage mansion and brought a traveling doctor in to care for her, supplying all his needs with the best money could buy. He hadn’t known what it was he was doing until the next morning when he woke up and realized that he should have immediately sent for Konoha to bring their med-nin to care for their kunoichi before bringing her back home, but…

She was alive—because he found her. She was going to recover—because of the money out of his own coffers. She had been found—because he grieved her.

Didn’t that make her his? And why should he send her back when it was her own team lead’s neglect of her that had gotten her declared KIA in the first place?

So he didn’t say anything, and killed the doctor (quietly, discreetly, no sand coffins or blood splatters) as soon as she was stable and Gaara knew how to care for her.

No witnesses.

 He remembers the moment she first opened her eyes. She still looked sickly and burnt from the sun, but they had opened with clarity and she had looked around quickly, assessing her situation even as her hands and feet flexed and twitched against the restraints holding her down.

She saw him and whispered in a croaky voice, “…Kazekage-sama…?”

He’d hurried help her sit up and drink a glass of water to wet her throat. She drank greedily but not too fast, not needing his advice to not make herself sick. A prodigious med-nin, to be sure.

Once he’d pulled the cup away, she’d blinked and asked in a clearer but still thready voice, “…Where am I? Why… why am I restrained?”

“Safety precautions, Haruno-san,” he’d told her. He would stay polite, even if he wanted to be able to speak the caress of her name on this lips and tongue. He would stay distant for now. He didn’t want to scare her.

“Where… am I…?” she asked again, eyes roving over the interior of the bunker’s main room.

“Safe,” he said.

She seemed wary of him but was too out of it to be outright suspicious, and once he let her drink a second glass over water, she fell back asleep. He laid her down carefully, determined for her to never feel any pain ever again.

It was Konoha’s fault she had almost died.

He didn’t want her to die.

She was better off safe down here in his bunker where he could protect her. He would never let any harm come to her.

Ever.

 It didn’t take her long after her first awakening to start asking questions. Her memory of recent events was spotty at first, but once she started remembering healing Kankuro, going to save him, bits and pieces of her fight with Sasori before her injury and ‘death,’ their relationship became strained.

He told her what he could, and most of it had to be lies. He truthfully told her that she had killed Sasori in the end and Chiyo had been a casualty of the fight. Gaara had had Shukaku taken from him, but he’d survived. She had been searched for, but only for a few days before her team headed back home. Naruto was going to try to come back for her body, but they all assumed she was dead and he heavily implied they didn’t care.

(Hatake didn’t, sending her in unprotected like that.)

Some of the lies she believed, some she didn’t. It took time and constant repetition to get it to sink in that Konoha hadn’t really cared about her. She fought against the lies about Naruto and Tsunade the hardest; she’d been suspicious of being restrained.

And then she found out she didn’t have chakra anymore because of Sasori’s poison, just enough to survive with civilian levels, and she’d just about broken.

He’d been sad to see it, but it was necessary. It was, in fact, a seal he’d discovered deep in the family’s library, used for subduing dangerous criminals for execution. Archaic and brutal, he’d gotten a sealmaster to bastardize it into being temporary. He was no Uzumaki, but he said the seal should hold. Gaara didn’t want Sakura in the bunker forever. Once he felt she could be trusted, she would ‘regain’ enough chakra to defend herself. Maybe one day, she’d ‘miraculously’ get all of it back.

But that would be after they were married, after they had children, once they were older and there was no chance of her defection. He had to keep her safe.

He made sure to repeat that to her. She was safe, he was always going to keep her safe. Konoha hadn’t kept her safe, and they didn’t care what happened once she wasn’t. She’d been left behind, by her team, by her village. No one was coming for her; no one cared enough.

That was apparently her worst fear and what started breaking down the fastest.

He brought her meals, took her to the bathroom, brought her knowledge and entertainment. He was her only source of social interaction, the only person she relied on for all her basic needs, by design. He needed her, so she had to need him.

It was basic conditioning. He was sad he had to use it on her, but there was no other way to make sure she’d willingly stay by his side. The first time he had touched her, she’d flinched. The day he’d left for the memorial, she had initiated a hug goodbye.

(He knew she would fall for him eventually, just like he’d fallen for her.)

Telling her about his three days away for her memorial service had been very, very difficult. Of course, she hadn’t known it was her memorial service, but she had still cried and pleaded for him to stay. She didn’t want to be without him, she said. What would she do, all alone? What if the food ran out? What if something happened to him?

It was hard to leave her, but he did.

 He’s eager to get back to her more than anything else, but he doesn’t show it. He worries that if he’s away for too long, some of her conditioning will start to wear off and she’ll regress. If she thinks too long, she might untangle some of his lies; after all, he knows she’s extremely intelligent and it’s only been a little under a month. There’s a large margin for error here, leaving so soon, but it would have been more suspicious if he hadn’t come. She’d killed one of his village’s own missing-nin in the conflict to save his life. If he’s not there, barring an emergency, it’s a blow to the alliance.

Gaara needs this alliance, but he might not always. If Sakura were to surface back from the dead in, say, five years or so, Konoha’s reaction might not matter.

(She won’t want to go back anyways. He’ll have made sure of it by then.)

When he comes back to the bunker, Sakura is pacing the room. It doesn’t look like she’s tried to escape and there’s no damage speaking of any fits of pique or defiant anxiety, which is somewhat surprising.

“Gaara-sama!” she calls with a smile once he’s sealed the door behind him.

“Sakura-san,” he replies, finally able to call her by her given name, a small smile quirking his lips. He doesn’t necessarily expect her to run up and hug him, but it’s nice anyways.

His sand doesn’t even try to keep her from him. He thinks it’s a sign.

(A sign that they’re meant to be. He’s doing the right thing, keeping her here.)

“Don’t leave me like that again, okay?” she demands. She’s still got a temper, which is something that is so integral to who she is that he’s glad it’s not completely conditioned out. Still, she hadn’t destroyed anything. It’s a sign of progress. And the desperation with which she’d run up to him…

Maybe he should leave her alone more often, but his heart says otherwise.

(He has to keep her safe. He loves her, he loves her, he loves her.)

“I’ll do my best,” he says. He’s always been a man of few words.

“Did you bring any food?” she asks. “I’m pretty hungry—I ran out this morning.”

No, Gaara had not brought food. He’d been too excited to come see her.

“I’ll go get some for you,” he tells her, and turns for the door. Sakura steps back to give him space—she always does—and he unseals the exit.

He doesn’t see her coming from behind him and his sand doesn’t react when she hugs him again; she doesn’t mean to harm him, if the sand isn’t reacting. “Don’t take too long, okay? I’ve missed you.”

“Stand back, Sakura-san,” he orders her quietly, warmed by the fact that she’s so desperate to touch him, feel him, hold him.

Sakura nods against his back. “Okay…”

In a move he hadn’t expected and therefore was unprepared for, Sakura’s hands snake up under him and grab his throat.

He chokes on her inhuman strength. She shouldn’t have chakra! What is going on?

“Next time you put a seal on someone, you should make sure you know it’ll hold,” she snarls, and her hands clench brutally.

 When Gaara wakes up, it’s three days later in the hospital. Sakura had crushed his windpipe, but Temari found him in time to get medical treatment and survive.

He grieves that Sakura got away, but he swears he’ll find her. She can’t have gotten back to Konoha yet and therefore he still has time to find her and bring her back. He’ll leave her in isolation for much longer this time, a punishment. He’d hoped to never have to do that to her, but Sakura has a strong will (Naruto had emphasized that so often and Gaara had seen it firsthand when she fought against his sand coffin) and it needs to be broken down more… thoroughly this time.

“I’ll find her soon enough,” he tells Temari.

And then Kankuro rushes in with a crumpled missive with the Hokage seal in his hand, announcing with worried eyes that Konoha has declared war.

[tsukihoshino]

Super long Sasori post

I’m going to begin this by saying everyone is entitled to their view on Sasori and how to characterize him within the parameters set up by canon or whatever AU/Bent Timeline a person has inserted him into but I do believe there are certain things about him that remain the same no matter what situation you put him in-- otherwise he’s just no longer Sasori (IMO.) So much of his character is about hyper analyzing his words and actions, and what others have said about him through a microscope because the fact of the matter is for such an interesting character he really had such little time.

I was originally not going to bring shipping into this but as I was writing Sasosaku kinda slipped in there, mostly because it felt like it provided a good contrast to what we get of Sasori in canon and how it can translate into fanon.

(All of these opinions are based on the Manga and the Akatsuki formation because OP cannot be assed with novels and filler for the most part...Making an exception for Komushi.)

1. He’s highly manipulative. He’s a puppet master and he has a spy ring. He gathers information so he can use it against people, he manipulates the corpses of what used to be people--or things that LOOK, very often like people. That says a lot about who he is as a person.

And when you first see his real face, when he reveals himself to Chiyo this is the face you get; 

I don’t get the impression that he’s actually happy to see her given the events that follow, its largely about trying to put his grandmother off center and BOTHER her. Sasori is perfectly capable of acting to get to a desired result--which makes a lot of sense to me because while Bunraku is largely about the Narrator's words there is also the performance element to it via the puppets.

2. He’s all about control. Control of himself, of others, of events. It's really an offshoot of manipulation but I don’t think Sasori blinks without putting thought into the action. ( I mean technically, lmao given his unique anatomy in canon that might be 100% accurate.)

3. He’s not only an artist. The guy is the very definition of being a mad scientist. He sits at a place where Art and Science meet and become something more. It's not one or the other when it comes to Sasori, there is something almost Frankenstein like in the way that he creates his human puppets, the 3rd and himself. Think about the knowledge that had to go into that from basic human anatomy to the chakra system as a whole. I mean we never get a play by play on HOW he did it but we know he’s the only one who ever did and then repeated a similar, much more complicated process on himself.

Then there is his poison, we know he’s primarily relied on the infamous one because it was sooo effective (until it wasn’t, thanks Sakura.) But we have to assume given how he is Sasori makes ART out of deadly concoctions and methods of murder.

To him synthesizing that poison was probably no different than an artist trying to get that perfect shade of red.

The weird thing about Sasori ( and I guess it's just ONE of the many weird things) Is that for an Artist he is very...clinical. When we think about people in the arts we often imagine passionate people like Deidara--bombastic and flamboyant free spirits. 

4. Logical and likely to the extreme.

He’s not a sore loser. When he loses and it's fair he accepts it. He's not bitter about the end of his fight with Sakura and Chiyo, he’s not pissy with Konan--he respects it because to Sasori the weak die and the strong survive, losers don’t have a right to complain when they shoulda got gud to begin with.

I don’t doubt that in Sasori’s logical mind he came to the conclusion that his parents died because they were weak. Ergo unlike Chiyo he’s just completely unaffected by seeing Kakashi, the world just followed its natural order in the death of his parents.

He’s got a reptile brain and he just sort of views people as animals because it's probably simpler--except for himself. He thinks he’s above that, to himself he is a god.

The thing with Komushi...I perceive it as largely an accident but in Sasori’s “perfectly” logical mind he was just like well: it’s sort of Komushi’s own fault and never let a tragedy go to waste because again, hyper logical. Not only that but he was BEGGED to do something for Komushi and there really was nothing to be done for him at that point other than make something useful out of his death.

The problem with being TOO logical is that it is just as detrimental as being too emotional. If we all just went around doing what was logical we’d be no different than animals or machines. Logic dictates we do whatever it takes to survive and come out on top even at the expense of others but because we are balanced by emotion most people don’t live like that.

On the flipside because he’s logical he can be convinced by compelling arguments without ego getting in the way. In this same vein he finds it very difficult to feel sorry about things he’s done in the past but when able to recognize it was wrong he can accept it and simply resolve not to do it in the future--he doesn’t have the capacity to agonize over feelings of guilt.

5. He hates being lied to and he’s impatient. Sasori will lie to everyone around him and even to himself if he can manage it but if he finds out He’s the one being lied to? Intense hate. See points 1&2.

6. He’s blunt and often rude when acting as his natural self. I don’t find the need to explain this one much.

7. Sasori is largely self-focused. He thinks he has a perfect handle on himself and understands exactly why he is the way he is--but it couldn’t be further from the truth. He really doesn’t understand his own feelings much less those of others and what he does understand he often doesn’t care about. This can be changed if a person is able to get through to him.

This is the guy who thought that by removing his concious from a human body and sticking it into what's basically a decorative vase all his problems would MAGICALLY vanish. Because as smart as he is, he was also desperate to escape his own feelings not realizing that when you pour the water in one glass into another glass the contents remain the same.

No matter how hard he tries he cannot escape the problem plaguing him; himself.

8. Sasori does not value life, not his own and certainly not others. Unless you are like that ONE person who is able to get through to him. He has what I would call a “Very narrow heart.”  which simply does not have a lot of space for people. To him it's probably Sasori and “That Person” VS the world.

9. He likes things that last, sculptures and paintings, classical music and literature, things that have been around for ages and withstood the trials of time.

10. He does not do well on his own. He thinks he does but he really doesn’t, when he is by himself he is destructive. When he feels alone he is at his most dangerous. Sasori is very much a person who NEEDS someone to essentially be his emotional center otherwise we get him turning himself into a puppet in what amounted to a one longass theatrical suicide.

11. Sasori was probably always a little...different even as a kid but environment and events certainly played a role. His parents died at an early age and he was essentially lied to and given false hope. (hence the impatience and hatred of lies.) Throw into that an intellect seldom seen in a time of war where child soldiers are the norm. He killed his first person at 8, he earned himself a title denoting that he was so good at killing he soaked the sands in blood. Imagine what that's like at 8, getting a pat on the head everytime you kill someone?

Of course you would become conditioned to believe that killing is right and good when you’re being congratulated and rewarded for being proficient at it.

Its assumption on my part but I do believe Sasori lays somewhere on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.

12. He’s vain AF. Look at him. He made sure to replicate himself in his prime to perfect detail in the places that were most visible, his face and his hands. He could have made himself look like anything but in the end he still chose that form.

13. When he wants something he makes a plan and gets it done. Doesn’t matter how long or what he has to do to get to point A to point B he’s going to do it.

14. He has three main expressions; blank, smug and insane.

15: His power levels are again, insane. He is a master of multiple trades. The guy ganked a Kage at 15 the strongest one Sand ever had by that point, ( Orochimaru was waay older and came out way more damaged as far as we know when he fought Sarutobi.) toppled a nation, made himself a new body with mysterious methods.

It's time for the Sasosaku bit:

Part of the reason why I think the two of them fit so well together is that they are opposites and yet complimentary. Sakura is an antidote and Sasori is the poison, but sometimes a medicine can become a poison and a poison can be used as medicine. Sakura is a close range combatant and Sasori is long but they have this odd intersection of skill sets and interest. They both deal in the human body and the manipulation of it, Sakura’s focus is to maintain it as it is and improve its condition if needed and Sasori’s is to both destroy and create it anew all at once.

If they weren’t trying to kill one another in canon they would have had tons to talk about.

Ultimately Sakura gets gut stabbed not because he was aiming for her but because she got LITERALLY in the way of a family feud. He was going for Chiyo and you can assume that's because he thought his grandma was the bigger threat or because he was still bitter about the past on some subconscious level and was gunning for her--i mean he goes in for Chiyo a second time after he disconnects from the arm Sakura was death gripping. But Sakura’s selfless action is something that viscerally shocks him: 

And it only gets worse when Chiyo starts feeding her life force into Sakura--a second selfless act on the part of someone he hates and feels wronged by.

Sakura values life and Sasori doesn’t because he doesn’t understand it. He was raised his whole life to think that people like them--Shinobi had no value other than to kill or to be killed. He’s visibly shocked when she starts yelling after socking him in the face about Human lives and family bonds. Like no one had ever mentioned that to him before and forget about risking your life to save someone else's, that goes against his logical lizard brain.

At that point he’s already beaten, he’s already impressed with her. It’s right after her punching him that Sasori gives what amounts to an odd marriage proposal IMO. It was completely pointless of him to even bring it up but you can tell by the “Glint” in his eye that he meant it.

Sasori: Want to become like me? You’ll get what I mean. An undecaying body, Unfettered by a mortal lifespan, capable of being rebuilt over and over again. ( if you were immortal would you offer immortality to someone you had no interest in? Not me. I wouldn’t want to have them around for virtually “forever” in any shape or form. And Sasori is not talking about making Sakura into just some controllable puppet, he’s talking about being JUST like him, sentient thought and movement.)

Sasori: I can make as many people as I want out of puppets….-Looks dead at Sakura- If I want them...but my collection isn’t just about quantity. Quality is important too.

That whole conversation is like A CREEPY FLIRTATION from him because we know what he considers “True beauty” to be. Eternal.

And then it comes to a head where he gives her a “sentimental reward” in the information she wanted. Now I’m not saying Sakura was interested or anything but it seems like he was in some shape or form.

In my opinion when you put someone like Sakura--who is brilliant and logical but also heavily swayed by her emotions with someone like Sasori, brilliant, logical and emotionally repressed. A person who values life with someone who neither values their own life or others what you get is agitation.

Agitation is not a bad thing, it breaks stagnation--which is what, imo drives Sasori to his death. It is the lack of change, he’s made it so he cannot feel physically and he has tried his hardest and for the most part succeeded in numbing his inner feelings.

Part of me is convinced that what ultimately kills him is complacency. He gets so used to being at the top that when he is confronted with someone who neutralizes his life’s work and destroys his collection and keeps confronting and beating him with all the qualities he deems useless and pointless it just drives home the point that everything he has ever done or thought was in vain and on some level wrong. There is no point in winning against them because everything is already destroyed. There is no going back to what he was before, therefore death is preferable.

Through Sakura, in Au’s or alt timelines, or w/e she is able to reach him through their similarities but change him due to the fundamental differences in their nature. 

As to what Sakura gets from Sasori; Someone who clearly respects her skills and understands her interests because his own align--and therefore would be supportive and present. The two of them actually have things in common and therefore shit to talk about.

 In that same vein Sasori seems like the type of person who if he were to fall in love it is to the point of obsession, for someone who was repressed and held themselves apart from others I see him in a lot of ways as almost touch, and certainly affection starved. It becomes addictive to him. (Which is probably why when I write him he’s handsy.) 

We know how Sakura likes to take care of people--we see it with Naruto, Sasuke and Sai. In some of these cases it is often to the detriment of her own well being and Sasori, the selfish person that he is, can reign that in and pull it back so that it isn’t so all consuming. (mostly because the only person she should be worried about is herself and him.)

In the end, If Sasori is the logic and Sakura is the emotion, what you end up with is something more balanced. In the same way that if you were to mix a Poison with an Antidote you would end up with a neutralization.

These are just my personal opinions and thoughts on the matter.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I headcanon that Sasori is basically Sakura-sexual so -cough- there. I guess that's a topic for another time...

Look at all these conceited Sasori faces: 

[kyogre-blue]

Naruto Shippuden, ep 427-450

So this is... 23 episodes of filler about a random bunch of AUs. They are theoretically framed as people’s Tsukuyomi dreams, but this framing doesn’t necessarily make sense. 

Tenzou’s dream is to be acknowledged as a good kouhai and the best suited leader for Team 7. It also includes Kakashi needing to be rescued. It’s kind of cute that he has Sasuke return at random because that’s what Naruto and Sakura would want. 

Tenten’s is a two episode reference to Road to Ninja. I guess you could read it as her wanting to be the special one who gets to save the day with her unique skills. 

Karin’s is... it’s presented like a backstory flashback, but it ends with her apparently dying from Kusa ninja coming to take revenge on her? Are we supposed to interpret this as her being unable to imagine a happy life or her wanting to die? There is also a lot that doesn’t really make sense in terms of timeline, so I am deeply skeptical of all of it. 

B’s is fairly straightforward -- he wants to go and have adventures with the other jinchuuriki and also their bijuu (who have very cute small versions lol). It’s probably the best of the bunch. 

And then there’s Tsunade’s... 

In general, Tsunade’s dream (”Jiraiya Ninja Scrolls: The Tale of Naruto the Hero”) is very nearly the worst filler I’ve seen. Generally, if a filler is stupid, it can at least be funny, and if it’s serious, you can suss out some bit of canon. But this? Total waste of time, for like 16 episodes. 

It’s framed as Tsunade reading a novel that Jiraiya wrote, alone aside from Shizune dropping by. The novel is... a speedrun of Naruto’s entire plot, but with details changed: Minato sealed half the Kyuubi in Kushina and both of them survived to raise Naruto, Obito doesn’t seem to exist, etc. Most major plot points of the series are recycled, along with many key scenes, except the framing and sometimes the general circumstances are different. Honestly, it’s like reading a fairly bland fanfic. 

Then at the end, it switches to a world where Dan is alive and Hokage. 

I would honestly dismiss pretty much the entire batch of fillers, but I guess you could say that they show that people don’t always know what their ideal world even is, so when they get pulled into Infinite Tsukuyomi, they take some time to work through the possibilities. You can see it in the most simple sense in Tenzou’s. Does he want to go back to his childhood, with the girl who gave him that name? Does he want to go back to his Anbu days under Kakashi? 

In the end, he seems to decide that he doesn’t want to dismiss the connections he gained as an adult, which is why he settles on “being entrusted with Team 7 after proving himself.” 

Tsunade’s can be seen as similar in that sense. She doesn’t immediately want her current life, with Naruto and Shizune, to disappear. So it has to get reinterpreted as an increasingly distant dream. 

Regarding Tsunade’s specifically (just complaints): 

Does someone on the anime team have an issue about dogs drowning? I think Inari’s flashback about his dog almost drowning was anime only too. 

Plus, this dog’s name is Shiro and I think the breed is also the same as in Asura and Indra’s flashback? 

Minato is alive here, as well as Kushina. I’m... not clear what happened at Naruto’s birth, since I think it’s never stated that there was an attack. Maybe the Kyuubi just couldn’t be controlled, but since the situation was less dire without a 3rd party, they could use this method instead. 

Minato is able to prevent the Uchiha coup, but tensions remain, leading to a lot of the... supposed plot of this AU. The clan forced him to accept some demands in exchange for not going through with the coup. Amusingly, Itachi seems to be quite supportive of his clan, though he’s among those that believe in a peaceful solution. The remaining tensions come from opposition from the advisors and other clans. 

The Uchiha police get a long term assignment with the daimyo. Not sure why the police go though, this doesn’t really seem intuitive. 

The filler is desperate to show Minato as being amazing, but it also wants to still have the Hyuuga affair, so the Sandaime is inexplicably presiding over that mess, even though it should be Minato’s job. 

Kakashi and Sasuke wear their shoes indoors... 

Sasuke wears a truly ugly pastel blue body suit... On the other hand, his casual outfit while running off to Orochimaru is nice. 

Anko, Hayate, Yugao and Yamato are in Root for some reason. 

Neji’s Byakugan can’t tell a clone from the real thing... I don’t remember if this is canon. 

Pain’s “you won’t understand without experiencing the same pain” sounds like what Hagoromo says in the Indra flashback later. Hagoromo is full of shit. 

Obito isn’t around, so Sasori is explicably the main villain. Yahiko is still alive at the start, the Kyuubi attack isn’t confirmed iirc... Sasuke and Naruto’s fight also happens at a different location, not Valley of the End, so I wonder if the idea is that Madara never did his entire thing. I think he was mentioned early in at one point, but I can’t remember what they said about him. 

Since his family was never killed, Sasuke’s issues are all about Naruto. He originally looked down on Naruto for being a loser, but then Naruto acted cool one time when they were kids, and Minato was able to prevent the coup, so Sasuke thought they could really be rivals. But Naruto kept being a loser until he... suddenly became so good Sasuke didn’t feel like he could keep up? It’s very odd. 

[who-let-the-deans-out-doctor-who]

Itachi, Deidara and Obito

Itachi

How I feel about this character:

I may not worship him like many people in Naruto fandom (and many of you are right to do that) but I like him, well written character, but if I’m being honest, I still don’t understand why he had to torture Sasuke so much. I like his design and personality, the gloomy war child who had too much IQ and talent for the village to handle, but so very different from the geniuses like Kakashi, Shikamaru and Neji. The most I like him is when he’s being the good bro to Sasuke before the Uchiha massacre.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

In the past, I shipped him with Kisame and Deidara, not anymore, because I now know how old is Kisame and how chaotic his life would be with Dei Dei. 

Now I just want him to be happy, so I don’t ship him with anyone specific. I liked him with the Uchiha girl, shame she died. Also ShisuIta is not a bad ship.

My non-romantic otp’s for this character:

I just realized there was just otp not otp’s for characters, but I can’t bring myself to write just one, so I’m changing the game because I can lol.

Kisame is his big bro and a really good friend in my eyes and I love it more than a romantic relationship.

Kakashi as his Senpai and also a big bro warms my heart.

Shisui also a big brother and inspiration.

I’d love to see him bond with Gai instead of fighting.

Nagato/Pain and Konan seemed to respect him and in other world they could’ve been really good friends.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I think it’s unpopular to not adore him so much like others? Idk, like I cried when he died and the truth was told by Obito to Sasuke, but his story didn’t really resonate with me? I think I just don’t understand him that much. Yes, he was a child of war and what Fugaku did to him was screwed up and then his team died and then Shisui killed himself because of Danzo and he was a double spy for the village and had to kill his own clan to stop them. I feel sorry for him, that’s true, but at the same time I felt overwhelmed by all of this when I first watched Naruto. 

I like him, but I can’t relate to his character, because he is almost god-like character with his powers and beliefs and in this essay I will-

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

Again with the clans, sorry, but I wish Uchiha didn’t have Susanoos and god-like powers, the copy technique was op enough, so as much as I love the fight with Sasuke, I wish it would’ve been a genjutsu and taijutsu only fight, maybe with some fireballs but that’s it. 

Deidara

How I feel about this character:

So after being so boring about Itachi (for that I’m sorry), here is my favorite bomb bitch, crazy artist teen, Dei! I love them, they’re a simple character, their art an explosion, their wish to be seen as the greatest artist! I’m a sucker for the good guys, but this one terrorist has a charm that can’t go unnoticed by me!

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Again, when I was on start of shippuden, I somehow didn’t realize how old is Sasori, so I shipped those two, but now I know and can’t believe how gross I was! I ship them with his art obviously! And I liked them with Hidan for some reason? I think it was because the chaos is my favorite thing. 

My non-romantic otp’s for this character:

Dei and Sasori were a great duo, with their differences being the main topic of their arguments and it was hilarious.

I like the au Deidara never left his village, so Kurotsuchi as their friend is so wholesome.

Deidara and Tobi were great too.

Their worship and hate towards Itachi was weird, but I liked it, they could’ve been good rivals.

I don’t like many things about Naruto SD, but still I love it (just like everything in Naruto huh) and the episode when Deidara was pretending to be the artist that had to perform in some festival, I don’t remember what it was, but anyways, I liked how Team Gai interacted with them, it was really wholesome.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

There isn’t one that anyone else hadn’t mentioned in the Naruto fandom, I think.

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

I wish there was more of them, but at the same time I liked how they went, with a huge explosion.

Obito/Tobi

How I feel about this character:

Oh my Gai, I love to hate this garbage of a man. There isn’t a character that I have so many conflicted feelings about like him. I adore smol Obito, he’s pure, he has good morals and is a great friend. Then there is Tobi, who I also love, he’s funny, deranged, he’s chaotic. Then came Obito Uchiha, pawn of Madara. He was such an arse, I couldn’t stand him, I hated how he bragged about everything, about how life is cruel and blah blah blah, so far from the optimist we’ve seen at the start of his journey. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting him in the hate category where Danzo or Hiashi or Fugaku is. I just like his other two personas more.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I can’t really see him with anyone except Rin.

My non-romantic otp’s for this character:

Kakashi, reasons are obvious.

Gai, as a rival and a friend eventually.

Minato as his father figure and Kushina as a mother figure, that is if he didn’t kill them

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I think my feelings are unpopular enough lmao

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

Since I like his Tobi persona, if I were Kishi, I’d leave him a deranged Tobi only, not the big bad that started the war. I think him going mad would be more reasonable to what he’s been through than becoming literal monster ( yes I know that would cancel the whole fourth war, but I don’t think anyone would complain about that…?)

So that’s it, uh, I’m sorry for being so salty in this, but I wanted to be honest with my feelings, if you want more of my bragging, send me more characters please!

[evartandadam]

HEY, so I have a big question! But firstly, wanted to say I am glad I found your blog! I have been wondering lately: Obviously all the Akatsuki members have suffered some type of mental trauma from their pasts, so would you consider any of them as actual sociopaths-- not necessarily psychopaths? I ask because I have heard psychopaths are genetically determined but sociopaths are shaped by circumstance over time and are still slightly capable of having true moral and feelings. What do you think?

Okkkkk so you’re talking about the clinical definitions for ‘sociopath’ and ‘psychopath’ here. The problem is that no one can actually agree on these definitions. I have read soooo many articles on sociopaths vs psychopaths, and there are so many different opinions. Now, obviously there are two separate terms, so there must be differences. 

I will answer this question according to the definition you listed, and I will then answer it with my own definition. 

The only one who could have possibly been born with it would be Hidan. (Adding Orochimaru cause I forgot him- he was also likely born with an anti personality disorder.) The rest of them were raised to be the way they are. And most of them can still feel a connection with another person. The two who really cannot feel empathy at all are Sasori and Orochimaru. 

Now, like I said, I read a lot of definitions for these two terms, and what I gathered from them in bulk is that sociopathy is a spectrum, and a psychopath would essentially be the ultimate sociopath. Sociopaths by some definitions are still capable of connecting with individuals, but never groups. Psychopaths are deemed to be colder, and incapable of making ties of any kind. I think the born vs created argument makes the definitions unnecessarily complicated? Like, what about someone who is born with it but still feels connections? According to these basic definitions, this person doesn’t fit into either term! And this is because these terms are trying to squish too many attributes into one category or the other. 

So I’m going to ignore the born vs created aspect of this, because I answered it above and it doesn’t really influence any other attributes.

Here’s a list of Akatsuki from least to most sociopathic/psychopathic:

Itachi

Deidara

Kisame

Konan

Kakuzu

Hidan

Nagato

Sasori

Obito/Madara

Orochimaru

Ok so, the Akatsuki are kind of divided into three groups here: Those who had to give up their compassion to do their job but otherwise still can make connections/Those who gave up on connections a long time ago and are probably difficult to get to/Those who are too far gone- pretty much impossible to make a connection with. 

Note that I am rating these not only on their past selves but their current selves. Obviously all of them are kind of sociopathic:

Itachi, Konan, Kisame and Deidara are definitely not psychopaths:

Itachi has issues, but he cares very much for others. He sacrificed his own sanity and name to do what he thought was right for other people. He probably watches the rest of the Akatsuki and hates their actions. But another part of him is dead inside, so nothing gets to him as much anymore. A defense mechanism- indifference/apathy. A symptom of sociopathy. 

Deidara is interesting, because of how he kills people. Deidara was deemed a coward by Onoki, his master, for enjoying long-distance fighting. Deidara is obviously no coward, so why doesn’t he enjoy close combat? He seems to enjoy a good fight. It’s probably because he wants to get the job done without having to actually think about the aftermath. Deidara is very extroverted and seems to enjoy people. He is another character who, under different circumstances, would enjoy living a peaceful life as a creator. Iwagakure created what he is. I always sensed he wanted to be more than just a killing machine. I was actually going to put him higher on this list, but disperfection pointed out how Deidara even apologizes to Tobi (someone he can’t stand) before he kills himself, and warns Hidan and Kakuzu about Naruto even though he didn’t have to. He seems kind of… courteous. 

Kisame is one of the Akatsuki who really believes in their goal. He wants peace. He dislikes the shinobi lifestyle that he lived in the Mist. He obviously cares for Itachi. I put him above Deidara on this list, because there isn’t much concrete evidence that he is better than Deidara. But I still feel like if Kisame really had the option, he would want to live a peaceful life. Sociopaths also don’t feel loyalty for groups, and Kisame is all about that. Kisame and Konan are pretty much equal on this list. 

Konan as far as I can tell just does what Nagato wants. She loves Nagato, and she loved Yahiko. And she genuinely seems to want peace for others. People in Ame called her their angel, and it was likely because she was compassionate towards them. Konan is still a cold-blooded killer, and can distance her emotions to get the job done. But she feels a lot for people collectively. Konan is very similar to Kisame in a lot of ways. While Kisame enjoys bloodshed more, Konan couldn’t care less about killing those who are in the way of her mission. 

Nagato, Kakuzu and Hidan are in the middle, all for different reasons:

Kakuzu is just old and jaded. Kakuzu was a very loyal shinobi back in the day, and was stabbed in the back by the people he put his faith in. I feel that young Kakuzu was probably a pretty decent dude. But half a century of bounty hunting for a living will harden a person. Currently, Kakuzu would be very hard to make a connection with, which is why he’s so high on the list.

Hidan is very tricky to place because he could be a hardcore psychopath, but he seems to be capable of some compassion. Out of all the Akatsuki, Hidan is the most likely to have always had violent tendencies. But Hidan still has a moral code and follows a religion. This completely goes against what a sociopath is. Sociopaths believe they are their own gods, essentially. They also have no loyalty. Hidan is the trickiest one to place because he is all over the place. Hidan hase BPD, which explains why it’s so hard to place him on a sociopathic spectrum. Hidan is still filled with emotions, and he has a moral compass, even if it is screwed up. 

Nagato is actually a narcissist! I say he’s a narcissist because it perfectly fits into how he is used by Madara/Obito. Narcissists are lower than sociopaths on the food chain, and are usually manipulated by sociopaths. Now, he could be a narcissistic sociopath. But either way, Nagato has no problem killing people to get what he wants. He used to be very compassionate, but definitely lost his way. To willingly call yourself a god and deem yourself worthy of appointing suffering on others in such a ceremonial fashion requires a lot of distance from compassion. Hidan may kill you for his god and think it’s right, but Nagato thinks he IS god, therefore he is right. Nagato’s way of thinking is much more dangerous, due to the combination with his intellect and power. He has a chance to make the world better with his eyes, and instead he uses them to harm the masses. Not good. Still, like I said, Nagato is more of a narcissist than a sociopath, so I will not put him into the following category. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget he thought using his best friend’s corpse was like, a cool idea. *whispers* what the fuuuuuuu-

Sasori Obito/Madara and Orochimaru are classic psychopaths: 

Sasori is actually lower on this list than Obito! This is because Sasori doesn’t have a god complex, and mainly keeps to himself. But hey, if you think he belongs higher on the list, that definitely works for me! Sasori is the classic psychopath in a lot of ways. I mean, he’s cold, collecting and could be mistaken for the devil himself! But even Sasori was shown to be a normal, sweet kid until Suna trained him to become what he is. Sasori also kills people and does horrible things with their corpses, but he isn’t big on continuous torture. This could be why he hates Orochimaru so much. Doesn’t like his “style”. But Sasori is a very big sociopath! Wouldn’t want to run into this guy! I have done so many analysis posts on him… here and here! 

Obito is a total sociopath, sorry. I don’t think his character really makes sense, but judging by the things he has done and how much he enjoyed them, he is a sociopath! Now, Obito by himself would be way lower on the spectrum. But with Madara’s influence (a total socioapth), Obito rises the ranks! (Obito shouldn’t be capable of doing the things he did if Kishi was actually consistent with his character). Obito kills so many innocent people. He kills Minato, a man who loved him very much. He helps Itachi slaughter the rest of his own clan. He manipulates the Mizukage and apparently gives him a rep of being a tyrant. He even pretends to care about Deidara when he does not. Oh yeah, and he’s cool with killing anyone who gets in his way, including children. This guy has issues! Now, if I were to diagnose him with a mental illness, anti personality disorder is not at the top of the list! But I will still put him this high because he sucks. And he causes sooo much destruction. Master manipulator with a god complex. 

Orochimaru is shown to sort of care about one person- Tsunade. This isn’t definite- rather, it’s a headcanon of mine based on little signs here and there- but at times, he is soft when it comes to her. He seemed to have developed his need for immortality from watching her brother and fiance die. He watches her suffer and comes to the conclusion that death= suffering. And it is something he wants to avoid. Meaning he felt her suffering. None of the Akatsuki are complete psychopaths, but Orochimaru is very close to it. He tortures children on a regular basis. Don’t think it gets much worse than that. This guy is the most disturbing out of all of them, and he has competition! 

This list can be switched around many ways, so don’t think of any of these placements as concrete! 

[madeyemads]

[ No. 1 and 17 for the mun/muse meme? ]

What makes you the most emotional about your muse? 

Naruto played a big role in my childhood as a whole, but, for many reasons, Deidara was one of the characters more dear to me personally. The reasons were both rooted from watching the series as a child (when I was 7-8) and now, as I’m older and understand the series better now that I’m re-watching it. (19).

As a child, Deidara was an immediate favourite of mine, believe it or not, for his eye scope. I was born with a mutation on my left eye that a lot of other kids would pick on me for. Deidara covering his left eye with his fringe made me more emotionally attached to him. 

Now, as an adult, Deidara’s love of transience, lack of backstory regarding his family, and suicide got to me. Sure, he partly blew himself up to kill Sasuke, but something tells me it was more than that. . After the death of a fellow artist he likely felt connected to and was partnered with, Sasori, Deidara showed blatant signs of depression (This may be the shipper in me, but I feel that, although Deidara has an unhealthy lack of concern for other’s well beings, he truly did love Sasori, or at least he was the person Deidara cared about the most, as he looked up to him). He became more irritable, his personality changed, and, thirdly, he committed suicide by blowing himself up. I feel like the fact that he never mentioned his family had something to do with it, too. 

Due to his destructive and chaotic spirit possibly being the cause of his alienation to people who once loved him (or who he once loved), which would explain why Deidara never mentioned any family at all. I don’t think Deidara had anyone, really. Especially after his partner’s death. 

Perhaps the topic of loss is a large reason why Deidara values transience so much. He understands that nothing - nothing at all - not his own self, not even Sasori’s “eternal beauty”,  - is permanent. He understands that transience is a truth.

I feel that Deidara’s connection to birds, and specifically owls (a symbol for death, freedom and wisdom) is a good choice for this character. Death because he is a terrorist. Wisdom because he may not look smart, but he is. He’s wise enough (for his age) to understand that nothing is lasting, and wise enough to make such technical art, using strategy even if it takes longer and causes his partner to grow impatient. He also is someone who *craves* freedom and expression - it’s why he resents Itachi. He felt his freedom was lost due to loosing the battle, causing him to join the Akatsuki against his will. 

Why do you connect to your character?

I see myself in Deidara, to be quite honest. 

For more reasons than just my eye disorder. 

1- Deidara is the youngest member and I’m almost always the youngest one in any group I’m involved in. 

2 -   at a young, young age, due to life being life, I realised that nothing can ever be eternal, as much as we want it to be. Change is the only promise we have in life, death being the biggest change we could be given. True art is fleeting because everything has an end.

3 -  I’ve considered myself an artist since I could pick up a pencil.

4 - I  look like Deidara - I have long, (naturally, under the hair dye) blonde hair and catty blue eyes, drenched in eye makeup, the left being usually covered with my fringe as well (though, I wish I had a cool eyescope like Deidara does). I also wear fishnets and a LOT of black.

5- A shared chaotic personality, a love for owls (and redheaded artists. Van Gogh and Sasori are both super cool and interesting dudes).

6-  Both of us look dumb (and kind of act chaotic enough to seem dumb), but we aren’t - we’re just impulsive.

7- both of us are, PERSONAL, but I connect because both of us had suicidal thoughts. The difference is, Deidara actually acted on them.

8 - I seriously love owls so much, and his clay owls are super, super cute! No wonder why he likes owls, too. Owls are great little creatures.

9- the dumbest reason of all - I hate pilaff, just like how Deidara hates pilaff.. It’s so gross and reminds me of my cooking teacher who had no respect for art or originality. She was oddly obsessed with that stuff, no clue why. It was like rice lying about being pasta. Wouldn’t even feed it to my cat.

[captnjacksparrow]

I honestly agree with a lot of your opinions, and even when I don't, I think that your arguments are always well structure and respectful to other people.

But I have some questions (and I'm sorry if you have already answer them), (also sorry for some of my English, it's not my first language)

How do you feel about narusaku?

How do you feel about people changing certain aspects about Sakura to try to improve her character?

How would you improve Sakura?

How much do you think Sakura being a good character could affect the story?

What was the moment you really started to ship SNS? And what are you favorite moments?

(Sorry if there's ro many questions)

I honestly agree with a lot of your opinions, and even when I don't, I think that your arguments are always well structure and respectful to other people.

Aww!!!! Thank you, Anon. This made my day. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I will start from my favourite question (The one in the last)

What was the moment you really started to ship SNS?

I never wore any shipping lens, Anon.

Literally, I started to ship SNS only after Episode 478 or Chapter 698. Before that, I always had these doubts in the back of my mind.

'Something seems to be very weird between these guys',

'Why are they behaving differently compared to other friends?',

'Why Sasuke is behaving totally different towards Naruto?',

'Why Sasuke agreed to honour Naruto's promise under the bridge, despite having no shred of affection towards his other former Team Members?',

'Why Naruto is so obsessed with Sasuke?',

'Why Sasuke felt Naruto's chakra in Konoha and bothered by it?',

'Why Sasuke is protecting Naruto like a precious treasure only to end up wanting to kill him?',

'Why Sasuke has this weird obsession that ONLY I CAN KILL NARUTO but not someone else?',

So, I had all these questions piling up one by one inside my mind as the series progressed and I can't simply jump into a conclusion because I don't know what Sasuke was thinking. I hate one-sided ship and I want reciprocation. So, I usually put all these questions on the back burner and started to focus on the story. Damn!!!, The story was equally captivating and emotionally daunting. When Sasuke finally confessed his feelings towards Naruto in Episode 478, I simply couldn't believe myself but ship them. Because, in no world, Friends would behave this way towards each other.

So, to answer your question, it's after Episode 478, I started to ship them. But if you want me to say when exactly I started to doubt their level of friendship??

It's this moment,

Now you may think, 'Yeah, you saw two boys in a close proximity and decided to ship together. It's nothing strange'.

I have to say, Close proximity was the last thing, I felt from this scene. My reason was those heart breaking scenes that happened before which led to this specific moment.

I will make it as short as possible. I'll start with this

God!! I wanted to punch Sasuke so badly when he said this with a deadpan expression. It looks like he was lying just to get power. I thought, 'Sasuke!!! What a lying piece of crap you are!! If you want to kill Naruto, Just do it. Why doing a fake confession? '.

It doesn't help as the fight progressed because Sasuke was really playing football with Naruto and when this happened,

I was shell-shocked because, the Sasuke we saw so far is no more. It even confirmed my thoughts about the fake confession. Which sane person will ram Chidori through his Close Friend's body?.

After many blows were exchanged, I simply wished for one thing. Naruto should win and Sasuke should be stopped no matter what. When the final Rasengan vs Chidori happened, I couldn't understand what was going on inside that power ball. Naruto and Sasuke look at each other with pained expression and we see the younger version of them smiling at each other.

And then finally we see a knocked out Naruto with Sasuke standing and looking at him without any expression and was about to say, 'Naruto.... I' which was interrupted by rain and when Sasuke felt a stinging pain in his arms and falls down on his knees. He coughs up blood and then this iconic scene happens.

That scene conveyed many things

Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto but couldn't.

Sasuke meant what he said. Naruto is his closest friend, it’s not a lie.

Sasuke couldn't severe his ties completely with Naruto.

Sasuke's pain of saying 'Goodbye' is greater than the stinging pain in his arms.

Sasuke deliberately, I repeat deliberately and not accidentally, came close to look at Naruto's face and experiencing something that, we, audience don't know. 

So, you see, Anon. The emotional train wreck that led to this scene made me really doubt about their depth of feelings they had towards each other for the first time. That's when I thought, 'Something seems to be very weird between these guys, what is it?'

And what are you favorite (SNS) moments?

There are two moments which shows how Sasuke is playing an emotional battle within himself. 

1. Sasuke, Susanoo, Naruto, Minato

This happens right after Sasuke said to Obito, “Not you.... The one who is going to sever the past is....me”.

In this moment, Sasuke can pretty much let Naruto to die, because nobody is trying to kill Naruto. Still, he saved him with a 3 layered protection. The best part is Sasuke acted quicker than Minato, the fastest shinobi, to protect Naruto. Surely Minato wouldn’t want to blow up near his Son, for whom he gave his life once. It’s just that Sasuke is extremely quicker at this moment. 

2. For some reason, My Sharingan deactivated on it’s own

If only, Sasuke maintained his Sharingan, he could’ve traced Naruto’s movements and deflected his upper cut and would’ve successfully landed his Chidori through him. But he just couldn’t. 

Both these scenes happens in a span of a day but Sasuke’s emotions fluctuates a lot when it comes to killing Naruto, protecting Naruto, can’t kill Naruto. 

How much do you think Sakura being a good character could affect the story?

To be Honest Anon, Storywise ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Yes, I agree with her amazing performance in Gaara retrieval Arc where she tagged along with Granny Chiyo and almost killed Sasori.

After that ????

She did nothing in the Sasuke Reunion Arc. It was all about Naruto vs Orochimaru, Yamato’s Wood style jutsu, Sai’s betrayal towards Orochimaru. Geez!!! I liked her attitude in this arc but totally spoiled when she was standing simply like a wooden doll when Sasuke was about to stab Naruto. It was Sai who blocked Sasuke.... I was like, ‘Girl!!!! You said you will save Sasuke for Naruto when he went into 4 tails mode. What happened now??? Why are you not stopping him???’

She was just making Food Pills in the Rasen Shuriken Arc.

She was basically climbing from one tree to another in the Sasuke killing Orochimaru to Sasuke joining Akatsuki Arc. Even Naruto’s role was very minimal in that arc except he met Kabuto, Dead soul of Jiraiya, Itachi, a split second meeting with Sasuke where he got Chidori’ed and fought with Tobi. 

She was just a spectator praying for Naruto in the Pain Arc. Yeah, she did healed few people and punched some monsters. But it just doesn’t matter. Even Konohamaru killed a Pain in that arc. 

She turned into an Asshole by making a fake confession towards Naruto and decided to kill Sasuke in the Kage Summit Arc. I think, this is where Kishi decided to shit on her mercilessly by making her into someone who was going to hurt both of her team mates mentally and physically. Basically Kishi transformed a clever medical Ninja who can find an antidote in a matter of hours to an asshole who believed Naruto did everything for her and even more of an idiot by planning to kill Sasuke with just a poisoned Kunai. Isn’t she the one who told Kakashi that Sasuke was given forbidden drugs to improve his strength after their Reunion??? Can’t she put 2+2 together to know Sasuke would be immune to poisons because of his days spent with Orochimaru??? Yeah, she did impacted the story. But it was not for her development. Sakura’s foolishness made Naruto and Sasuke to meet each other again and made a promise. So, you see, she was just a tool that pushes the narrative development of other characters, not her own. Her development took a big blow in this arc.

She was non-existent in the Naruto-Killer Bee Training Arc.

She was just healing people and punched some zetsu during Powerful Edo-Tensei Shinobis vs Allied Shinobi forces Arc. I expected her to have a special fight. But Nope. Even Ino, Shikamaru and Choji fought Asuma, Kakuzu and Kinkaku, Ginkaku brothers. 

She was non-existent in the Uchiha Madara vs 5 Kages mini arc

She was non-existent in Obito vs Naruto, Kakashi, Might Guy and Killer Bee mini arc.

She was non-existent in the Sasuke & Itachi vs Kabuto mini arc.

She was non-existent in the Edo Tensei’ed Hokages and Team Sasuke arc.

She was punching some Juubi Clones in the Official War Arc which will never make a difference to the story. At the same time, her character was transformed from an Asshole who hurted her teammates to an horny biasshhhh who wants only Sasuke’s D. She summoned Katsuyu and was healing soldiers. But there were an army of Medical Ninjas too. So her absence will not affect the story in a big way. She did Lip to Lip CPR for Naruto though. Again, that would never help Naruto in a major way unless he was helped by Obito by placing Bijuu inside him. Again, Kishi didn’t make her the sole saviour here. Instead, she was used as a medium to facilitate Obito’s transformation from a bad guy to good guy. Kishi made Obito as the Saviour here. 

She was useless and was not able to destroy Obito’s rinnegan in the Reincarnation of Indra and Ashura vs Rikkudou Sennin Madara arc.

She was useless in the Kaguya arc. [Sorry, that punch won’t make any difference because Kaguya must be stupid to not use her 360 degree vision to see Sakura from behind. With Naruto and Sasuke has already become a demi god at this point, her clown show is incomparable].

She was useless in the final Naruto vs Sasuke arc.

So, you tell me Anon. Did she make any impact to the story that served as a major twist?? 

The story revolved around Naruto and Sasuke. 

Itachi, Obito, Jiraiya, Madara, Hashirama and other Hokages were the game changers of this story. Meaning, their presence or death will change the story by a huuuuggge margin.

Tsunade, Orochimaru, Team Nagato, Kabuto helped our protagonists in a BIGGGG WAAYYYY.

Akatsuki were just amazing who gave us the sense of thrill as well as fun. 

Even Sakura being good will never impact the story because she had no dedicated arc written for her.

But, if she were written as a good character, my viewing experience would have improved in a relaxing way so much so that I don’t have to press my fast forward button whenever she appears and I wouldn’t be writing this post explaining why I hate her.

How would you improve Sakura?

Simple, By writing her similar to Rin Nohara.

No obsession but a simple love towards Sasuke.

No toxicity but caring friendship towards Naruto. 

That’s all.

How do you feel about people changing certain aspects about Sakura to try to improve her character?

Well, that means they would qualify as a fanfiction writers, aren’t they??.

Also, this inherently proves that she is a piss poor character and people wants to change certain aspects of her which they find annoying. But it will 100% end up being OOC. And I’m not into reading those OOC stuffs, Anon.

I always believe in accepting what the author has given rather than trying to fix their work. Because the author writes a character deliberately to make the readers feel what he intended in the first place. Kishi could write a redemption for even someone like Orochimaru towards the very end. Like, he literally made him to help Sasuke, not as a human predator, but as a former Master and an admirer. He wrote him to help Tsunade and other Kages. So in the end, Orochimaru was not hated like he was hated in part 1. If he can write something for Orochimaru, why not for Sakura??? 

You know how I can redeem Sakura in just 3 or 4 panels?

Let me tell you.

After that fake confession, Sakura could talk to Naruto,

“I am very Sorry, Naruto. I know you will never take things in your heart. But still I shouldn’t have used Love as a tool to make you not to do something. I was an Idiot to not realize how badly you want to save Sasuke. It wasn’t just for me. But it was for Sasuke and also for you, as his friend and also for us as Team 7. So, how about we go to Ichiraku, for a nice lunch??” 

While confessing Sasuke for the second time,

“It seems you still want to go on to that dark path, isn’t it?. I am not the most powerful ninja in this world and I know I can’t trade blows with you. But still.... if you try to hurt my friend, Naruto and my master, Tsunade. I will fight with all my strength to kill you..... Even though I love you”

I am pretty sure, if Sakura confessed something along these lines, everyone would have admired her and it shows her emotional maturity as a Kunoichi who wants to do something to this world as well as a person who is ready to kill someone she loved in order to protect the people she holds dear.

In chapter 699. Before saying Goodbye to Sasuke,

“I am very Sorry, Sasuke. I never really understood what was going on inside your heart. And, I always forced myself on you because of my selfishness. I really feel bad for those things. I never really became your friend in the first place. How about we say farewell as ‘a good friends’, before your redemption journey??” (Shakes hands.... End of Scene)

How is this???

Is it pleasant to read?? Of course, Yes.

I am pretty sure it wouldn’t take more than 4 or 5 panels. Kishi could’ve easily did something like this. Am pretty sure readers would’ve been satisfied. Her fans too. Even I would’ve forgiven her mistakes.

But Kishi didn’t and I am very sure it’s deliberate. Because, this very same Kishimoto could able to write Konan, Tsunade who acts with so much maturity without whining like a little girl.

Which shows Kishi clearly hates this character and never wanted to redeem her. 

So no matter how many people improve this character, it will never be believable.

How do you feel about narusaku?

Naruto always placed Sasuke as his priority, Anon. That’s always the case. So, apart from SNS, if you want me to say whether NaruSaku had any potential?

I would say, yes, NaruSaku had potential. I will not deny it. Naruto had some liking towards Sakura compared to the absolute indifference towards Hinata.

There are some moments Sakura genuinely cried for Naruto without anyone’s influence. I liked it. Say, the scene where she cried on hearing ‘A Jinchuriki without Bijuu will die” and with Yamato she told, “I can only do little things for Naruto”.

These are all coming from her own heart. No one instilled inside her.

[[[ That’s why I will not accept her realization of ‘Annoying, huh? So, this is how Naruto must have felt too. Maybe I should be a little nicer to him next time’ as genuine in Episode 3. Because she realized only after Sasuke roasted her. I want feelings to emerge subconsciously rather than instilled by someone. ]]]

Unlike the asshole Sakura she was in part 1, Sakura started out good in Shippuden. I was surprised with her development in Gaara Retrieval Arc and was not at all annoyed by her presence. (Except when she said she will save Naruto and Sasuke from Itachi.... Grrrrr.... Biashhhhh.... Do you know Itachi’s abilities first of all??? He can crush you like a meatball with his Susanoo)

I started to feel, ‘Wooow!!! She has improved a lot. Great!!!!’.

Even though, she was useless in Rasen Shuriken Arc, She still made an effort to make food pills for Naruto. She even hugged Naruto much to his surprise, before all the villagers and especially before, ahemmm Hinata after defeating Pain.

Despite all of these moments that had happened between them, I could only see them as a pair formed of mutual tragedies rather than mutual attraction, Anon. In their case, Losing Sasuke. I wasn’t 100% sure whether Sakura moved on from Sasuke or not. Because When Sakura was looking for Sasuke with Kakashi’s Tracking dogs, she was still in love with him. So Sakura fluctuates between her obsession with Sasuke and some genuine feelings towards Naruto. 

Kage summit Arc is where everything changed and finalized. Sakura was crying like an annoying shit when she heard that Sasuke joined Akatsuki and was wanted by Raikage. This clearly shows her obsession has flared up again and ‘Poof’ all the development she had with Naruto was thrown into drain. 

On top of it, the fake confession. Grrrrrr.......

Plus, Naruto officially closed the possibilities of this ship by saying, “Sasuke, I know the Truth of Itachi from a guy named Tobi. I don’t know whether it’s true or not. But whatever you’ve been doing so far (hunting Killer Bee, ruckus in Kage summit conference, trying to kill Sakura, Kakashi).... It’s all understandable”.

If Naruto truly, wholeheartedly, deeply loved Sakura, he wouldn’t have said something like, ‘It’s understandable why you tried to kill Sakura”. He should have beaten Sasuke into a pulp. Or atleast shown some intense anger. Instead, Naruto was talking to Sasuke and making promise by saying ‘We will die together’. It’s like Sakura playing cupid for Sasuke and Naruto.

Naruto was okay with someone trying to kill Sakura whereas he was not okay with someone trying to kill Sasuke and even went to the extent of hyperventilating. This is why I feel any other ships are incomparable with SNS. 

After that Sakura started to behave rabidly towards Sasuke in the War arc which I can’t help but feel disgusting. So, anything she did for Naruto in the War Arc was overshadowed by her crazy obsession towards Sasuke. That’s why her CPR doesn’t matter, Sakura healing Naruto doesn’t matter. [Naruto has his own regenerative abilities, so whatever she does will not matter much for him]

So, NaruSaku was closed officially by Naruto and Sakura. It couldn’t sail because of the presence of Sasuke. 

At the end, I felt like Sakura used Naruto for getting her man back ready for romance rather than a killer mode Sasuke. I couldn’t feel the friendship they once had or any familiarity. 

I just hate people who don’t value friendships, anon. Sakura was not even a good friend, first of all. Yeah she had her friendly moments here and there. But, at the end of the series, she was not. A war has just ended, many people lost their lives, her supposed ‘best friend’ Ino lost her father. Why can’t she help her out emotionally? Why can’t she do some fucking good stuffs for this Shinobi world like her other teammates?? Instead, what she did was ‘let’s go and persuade Sasuke-kun to lend me some D by going along with his journey. Because I am so horny’. 

It not how you were in the beginning, It’s how you ended up being. She started this series as a worst friend and she ended up as a worst human being for me. How can I ship such a person with Naruto????

[scythe-swinging]

Deidara's a matchmaker!? Pt8/9

It didn’t take them too long to get back to the restaurant with Sasori leading them, at least it seemed to take a lot less time than getting there took. Despite this, by the time they got back, Tobi and Deidara were nowhere to be found. They were only gone, what, about an hour? Did they really ditch them that easily!?

About twenty minutes after Sasori had left Deidara looked at Tobi with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “We should leave.” He wasn’t getting anywhere with Tobi’s love life right now anyways so he figured it was time to switch focus again.

“But Senpai- They aren’t back yet!” Tobi protested.

“Exactly! When they get back we’ll be gone and they’ll still be hungry! Meaning they’ll probably eat together, yeah!”

“We could all eat together-“

“They need to eat together alone, Tobi.”

“Why?”

“Because-“ Deidara sighed. “Because it’s a part of the secret mission, yeah?”

“Ohhhh- okies senpai! Let’s hurry up before they get back!!”

“I can’t believe they would just fucking ditch us like that for no reason! We weren’t even fucking gone that long and they just decided they would leave without us!? Seriously!?”

“There was no reason for them to wait for us.”

“Huh- oh yeah, you have that fucking ‘no waiting’ thing- but still- it’s not a bad fucking thing for a friend to wait for a friend – not that Tobi’s my fucking friend but Dei-“ He paused, it finally clicking. “Oh Jashin damn it. I’m going to kill that fucking blonde asshole-“

“They likely finished eating before they left.”

“Wha- of course they did but why the hell does that even matter??”

“We still need to eat and we are already here.”

“Huh-“ Was Sasori asking him out on a- but no- he was just making use of the situation, right? No point in not eating when they were already here, right?

“There’s no reason to kill Deidara on an empty stomach. We might as well eat before you try to kill him.”

“Yeah- I guess you’re right. I never did get to eat my fucking ribs.”

“Then it’s settled.” Sasori stated, perhaps unnecessarily so as he was the one that followed Hidan to a table.

Sasori was aware that Deidara had probably done this on purpose. He wasn’t certain if Deidara knew of his crush or if Deidara knew that Hidan liked him – if he even did but the more Hidan reacted angrily to the blonde’s meddling the more likely it seemed – but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from taking advantage of it.

This was more of a date than their earlier notdate and both of them were acutely aware of that but neither were willing to state the fact out loud.

Hidan was terrified that if he classified it as a date Sasori would know and that he wouldn’t return the feelings. It didn’t help that he wasn’t very observant and that Sasori wasn’t close to many other people. To him, that made it harder to compare the way he acted with others rather than proving that the redhead liked him just due to the fact that he sometimes went as far as to seek him out when he wanted to spend time with him.

For Sasori it was the opposite. He was extremely observant and was suspecting that Hidan felt the same way if not something similar. He simply wasn’t the kind of person that spoke about his feelings very easily – and with how openly ‘not gay’ Hidan was he didn’t want to risk scaring the other off with his feelings. So, despite how much he hated the notion, he was going to bide his time and wait.

“You know,” Hidan said shortly after their food had arrived. “This is actually a lot better than it would have been with those two idiots.”

Sasori nodded. “Despite being with you it’s a lot more peaceful.”

“Yea- hey! I can fucking be peaceful!”

Sasori rose an eyebrow, giving the other a doubtful look.

“I said I could be peaceful- not that I fucking was-“

“And you certainly are not.”

“Yeah, but you fucking love that about me~”

“Strange as it is.”

“I mean- wait- what?”

“We are friends, despite how unpeaceful you are even when I want silence. It’s strange but it’s the truth.” Sasori explained, not discrediting or even commenting on the loving it thing. It was irrational but he loved all of Hidan, he just couldn’t say that yet.

“Yeah-“ Hidan smiled. “Yeah, we’re friends even if we want different things sometimes. It’s a fucking refresher being friend’s with you actually, even with the differences. You’re a lot funnier to hang out with than Dei is, that’s for sure.”

“That’s because he’s a brat.”

“Yeah? And what does that make me?” Hidan leaned forward some, placing his elbows on the table to get closer to the other. He was really interested in what the other would say for more reasons than one.

“…You’re Hidan.”

“What? But that’s just my name-“

“There’s no one word that can accurately describe you, Hidan. You’re name is the closest I can get to an accurate moniker.” The next closest would be crush or hopefully boyfriend in the future but Sasori couldn’t just say either of those.

“Moniker?”

“Name.”

“Why not just fucking say name-?” Hidan asked, confused as to why anyone would want to make things more difficult by having multiple different ways to say something. As he asked he repositioned his elbows, having rested his face in on of his hands and causing them to slip. When he did so he accidently landed his elbow on the little plate to the side he had almost forgotten about – the corn that came with his meal that he refused to eat.

He somehow managed to hit the plate just in the right place to fling the corn directly at his face. “What the fuck-!?” He yelled, quickly getting up and letting the corn drop to the floor. “Fucking bullshit ass vegetable- I’m not fucking eating you!”

“The corn didn’t do anything. You hit the plate.” Sasori pointed out as he stood up.

“Yeah but still- stupid fucking vegetable-“

“Lean down for a moment.”

“What?” Hidan blinked, confused at the sudden change of topic. Did Sasori want to kis-

“There’s corn in your hair.” The puppeteer explained, making an impatient gesture with his hand.

Hidan leaned down, bending his head in Sasori’s direction without thinking. He had corn in his hair and he needed it out. It made sense. That is, until he felt the other’s hands in his hair.

It felt nice, having Sasori’s hands in his hair like that, like it was right. But, well, let’s just say there’s a reason he kept his hair slicked back like that – harder to touch – and if Sasori didn’t sto-

Oh.

Too late for that.

Hidan quickly pulled back, face flushed a deep red at the sound that had come out of his mouth. He hadn’t meant to- it just felt so nice and it was Sasori and- fuck- Sasori-

The redhead was standing there, hands still in mid-air where Hidan’s head had been a moment before. The corn was already out of Hidan’s hair but it was so soft – and Hidan seemed so content – that Sasori had kept playing with it. But then he had just- Hidan had moaned, in the middle of the restaurant, because of him and he couldn’t think straight – not just because he was gay either – he could barely move.

Sasori was certain his face was as red as his hair if not redder and he couldn’t figure out what to say. What did you say when you accidentally made your ‘friend’ moan, when he seemed just as surprised and embarrassed as you were-

“Fuck- uh- I gotta go-“ Hidan managed to get out before he rushed out of the restaurant, in a mirror of the way he had left last time except for different reasons and they had actually gotten to eat this time.

Hidan’s movement was enough to get Sasori moving and he followed, quicker than he was last time thanks to the lack of annoying blondes. By the time he exited the building Hidan was just to the left of the doorway, standing leaning against the wall with his eyes closed.

Sasori regarded him quietly, still uncertain of what he should say. He now knew just how sensitive the other’s hair was. Oh, now that he thought about it that did make sense- “Is that why you always have it slicked back like that?”

Hidan nodded, not surprised that Sasori had followed him after what happened earlier. “Yeah-“ He opened his eyes, forcing himself to look at the smaller male despite how embarrassed he still was. “Sorry-“

“I’m the one that should apologize.”

“You didn’t do anything-“

“I was playing with your hair- it’s soft.”

Hidan chuckled, looking up at a strand of his hair that had fallen in his face after Sasori had tussled it. “Yeah, the gel has some conditioning shit in it or something-“

“Or something?”

“I don’t fucking know what it is-“

“I doubt that.”

“Okay- maybe I do- so fucking what? I like to do my hair and make it feel soft. It’s nice.”

Sasori nodded, pleased that Hidan had admitted as much. He really didn’t need the other to since he already knew it but it was still nice. “We should get back to the base. Didn’t you have a blonde to kill?”

“Yeah-“ Hidan started to head back, muttering ‘or thank’ under his breath. Despite his anger at the blonde he had to admit that he enjoyed the time he got to spend with Sasori – even with the embarrassing parts – and he was thankful for it, as long as Dei actually stopped his meddling this time-

First

<-Previous Next & Last->

[luucarii]

With a Dash of Gin - Ch19

Wow, I actually got my chapter numbers right! And I posted something two days in a row! What madness!

Also I live for an easily embarrassed Kokichi so...

Read on Ao3

The rest of the week seemed to drag. Rantaro went back to his afternoon shifts, fearing the worst should he decide to take anything later than working from noon to six. Midori had seemed to warm up to him a bit and finally dropped the attitude once he had returned to normal. Kokichi and Shuichi were in the midst of moving out of their dorms for the summer, both of them staying in Shuichi’s uncle’s house. He was usually out working so most days the two of them were stuck in the house alone complaining about nothing to do.

With the slow week came a drastic rise in temperature. July usually was the worst month during the summer with frequent heat waves and general discomfort in the muggy evenings. There was always the suggestion (usually from Kaede or Kaito) of going to the beach but both Shuichi and Kokichi made subtle excuses for avoiding the beach when really they just wanted to avoid a sunburn. Despite his reluctance, Kokichi refused to sit the heatwave out. It would be a waste to sit inside during the rare days where the temperature was fair enough to stay outside for more than a few hours. Thankfully for him, Rantaro seemed to be thinking the exact same thing and it didn’t take too long into the week for him to call and invite him to hang out.

“A pool?” Kokichi cocked an eyebrow and from across the room, Shuichi’s eyes shot up. He nodded vigorously and Kokichi snickered. Being stuck inside for nearly a week was getting to Shuichi’s head.

“Yeah, I think my dad set up plans with one of his business partners. There’s a branch of the Togami corporation near the area and they own a house with a huge pool. We’ve been given an invitation to come whenever we like.”

“Was this recent?”

Rantaro’s voice lowered, “yeah. He probably sent his assistant to do it. Maybe just to keep us unaware of what’s happening with him.”

“Ranty…” Kokichi drifted off and Rantaro chuckled on the other end.

“Don’t worry about it. So are you gonna come? I’m taking my sisters and I think they’d love to have you.”

“You’d love to have me too, don’t lie to yourself Ranty! And can I have a plus four? My friends have been bugging me nonstop about going out to the beach and this is one better.”

“Sure, just swing by my house around noon and we’ll go.”

With a giggle, Kokichi hung up and threw his phone onto his bed. Eyes narrowed onto Shuichi and he pointed at him, his free hand on his hip, “Shuichi! Call Kaede, Maki and Kaito! We’re all going to a rich kid’s pool!”

One concern Kokichi had about the whole outing was how twelve people were going to squeeze together in one subway car with dozens of others. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t used to squishing but he worried how Chizuru and the other young sisters would fare. Though most of his concerns were easily laid to rest as he walked up Rantaro’s street and saw a long car stretching in front of his house. 

Kokichi’s eyes lit up.

Outside were Rantaro and his sisters, all dressed up in loose fitting clothing with bathing suits underneath, holding small bags which Kokichi assumed were filled with clothes and whatever other girly things they needed. At first glance of Kokichi, Chizuru dashed up to him and hugged his leg, cringing somewhat afterward. She looked up at him in confusion and there was no way Kokichi was going to admit how much sunscreen he put on so he would avoid a sunburn.

“Kokichi! You didn’t tell me Rantaro had a freakin limo!” Kaito hissed and for a moment, Kokichi was grateful he had enough of a mind to censor himself in front of the kids.

“It’s not mine.” Rantaro smiled as he looked toward his sisters and nudged his head to the car. They all slid inside, leaving the door open behind them and Kaede excitedly dragged Maki inside. “The corporation is a big one when it comes to appearances. Any guests they have over have to be treated like celebrities. Personally I wouldn’t mind taking the subway but well, I won’t pass up a free ride.”

Kaito narrowed his eyes, “is there AC?”

“Of course.”

“Drinks?”

“If you’re thirsty, yeah.”

“Radio?”

“..It’s still a car?”

Kaito grinned and flung an arm over Kokichi’s shoulder, “you picked a good on Kokichi. He’s a keeper.”

“Just get in the damn car.” Kokichi grumbled and Rantaro laughed. Kaito darted toward the car and slid inside and it wasn’t long until his voice was heard sparking up conversation with Rantaro’s sisters. Rantaro slipped a hand into Kokichi’s and planted a tiny kiss on his forehead before pulling away.

“Why are you all slimy?”

Kokichi glared at him, “like I’d risk getting burned. You’re insane.”

Rantaro shrugged and lightly pushed Kokichi ahead, holding the door open from him and letting him slide inside beside Kaede. He jumped in and closed the door and once the car had darkened, there was a soft voice coming from the speakers.

“The Togami Corporation gladly welcomes your company Mr. Amami and friends.”

“No need for formalities. Rantaro’s fine.” 

“My name is Kirumi Tojo. I shall be taking care of you all today. Please, let me know if I can assist you with anything.”

Kokichi giggled, “faaancy.”

It didn’t take too long for the car to finally start moving and Kokichi was struck with awe throughout the entire drive. The interior was decked out with mini compartments and had a small mini fridge built into the floor. The seats were leather and the entire experience was nothing short of mesmerizing. With Rantaro’s arm lazily draped over his shoulder, Kokichi felt nothing short of being a king.

During the drive, everyone had introduced themselves and it seemed Kazu and Saki had grown interested in Maki. They were seated on her two sides and they continuously would ask her questions about her life. Kokichi worried she’d snap at them knowing how easily annoyed she get but if anything she was a bit bashful, awkwardly telling stories to the girls who looked on in awe.

Eri managed to spark up conversation with Kaede and, being the two optimists out of the whole group, they managed to hit it off very well. Kaede mentioned her interest in music and her love of the piano and Eri had excitedly offered to take pictures of her while she performed. Kokichi could swear he saw them exchanging phone numbers. Sasori and Shuichi had mostly talked about what they were studying in college, Shuichi suddenly growing an interest in the medical field despite his firm determination to be a detective.

Kaito was stuck with Midori and Chizuru though he didn’t mind too much. Kokichi could tell how hard it was for him to watch his mouth around Chizuru — granted having Saki as a sister, Kokichi wouldn’t be surprised if she had heard worse from her. Midori tried to be modest but she had the same big eyed expression as Chizuru usually had.

Upon arrival, Kokichi couldn’t believe it could get any better than it already had. Riding in a limo and being able to go into a rich kid’s pool was more than enough, but seeing the grand scale of what he assumed was one of the many Togami households left him dizzy. The exterior was a near golden bronze and it seemed to sparkle under the harsh sun. He leaned into Rantaro and spoke in slurred awe.

“This is the rich kid’s life…”

“It’s really not that grand after a while. But it’s cute to see you like that.” Rantaro nudged his shoulder and guided him inside the house with Kirumi leading the group. The main hall was huge with marble flooring and a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. There was a noticeable echo but all that could be heard was Kokichi and his friends commenting on how utterly astounding it was.

Kirumi led the group to the back porch where a large rectangular pool sparkled. Pool chairs were set up around the perimeter with a few umbrellas shadowing over them. A few more maids and butlers were placed around the outside, tidying up the area and suddenly straightened themselves when Kirumi stepped in the center  Kirumi outstretched a hand to show off the outside and smiled as she bowed, and with that small soft tone of voice, she spoke.

“We hope you enjoy your stay.”

On that note, Saki let out a squeal and immediately rushed to claim a chair, flinging her bag onto it. Midori took the one beside her and it didn’t take long for most of the chairs on the left side to be claimed by the girls. The four boys took the other side and couldn’t help feeling a bit overwhelmed by the difference in number between girls and boys. The boys (specifically Kaito) made sure to mind their eyes when the likes of Kaede and Maki were in the midst of taking off their clothes and adjusting to the feeling of wearing a swimsuit. Kaede’s was modest, a simple frilly pale pink two piece and Maki had a red one piece that she had to borrow from her. The two girls embarrassingly tried to help the sisters adjust their swimsuits but Kokichi wouldn’t ignore the way Eri would stare at the girls in admiration.

Kokichi shrugged it off and turned to face the guys. Shuichi was far too embarrassed to even think of lifting up his shirt and it only took Kaito threatening to push him into the pool for him to slip off the thin fabric. Kaito’s were a weird red color for some reason and he had complained that since Shuichi had called him last minute, all his other swimwear had been thrown in the laundry already. The one who surprised him the most, for obvious reasons, was Rantaro and Kokichi felt the heat rushing to his cheeks the minute Rantaro slipped his shirt off. Wearing dark blue swim trunks with a thin lime green outline, Kokichi eyed how despite the fact he was thin, Rantaro had garnered quite a bit of muscle. His build wasn’t Kaito level or anything but he was damn near impressive when put against the other guys. Kokichi gulped when he realized he was the only one who hadn’t stripped yet and suddenly felt a bit self-conscious.

“You alright?” Rantaro questioned as he worked on taking out the piercings in his ears.

“Of course I am, Ranty! How couldn’t I be?”

“You haven’t taken your shirt off yet. I honestly believed you’d be the first to jump in the minute we got here.”

That award went to Kazu, followed by Saki. The two girls came up for air and giggled, splashing each other with water before Kaede joined in. Eri kept dry for the first few minutes, taking a personal tour of the outside with her camera to take picture of the house and the flowers in the garden. Kaito rushed across the other side and pushed Maki in the pool while she was in the midst of pulling up her hair. With a typical Maki Stare, she reached for his leg and dragged him in. Midori decided she’d prioritize tanning over anything and Sasori decided to relax with her to keep her company. Shuichi sat at the edge of the pool with a silent Chizuru as they dipped their feet into water and sighed to themselves. Shuichi made sure he looked back a few time to catch if Kokichi would be devilish enough to push him in but was still surprised when Kokichi eventually did.

“I didn’t know Ranty was secretly a pervert.” Kokichi narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, clicking his tongue.

“Call me whatever you want but I’m dragging you in this pool sooner or later. Better to be prepared now.” Rantaro’s eyes glinted teasingly and Kokichi grumbled. 

“Rantaro, stop teasing the poor kid and get in! I want to take a few pictures!” Eri hissed as she readied her camera, already in the process of snapping pictures of Saki and Kazu doing handstands underwater. 

“Kid!? I’m older than you!” Kokichi snapped and he glared at Maki in the pool who was chuckling to herself. Before Kokichi could even echo out a sigh, he felt himself pulled into a hug and the ground under him disappeared. With Rantaro’s laugh in his ears, the two boys hit the water with a splash, enough scare Kazu and Saki into swimming to the surface.

When his head popped above the water, Kokichi coughed up a bit of water and frowned at the way his hair stuck to his face. Rantaro appeared behind him and wrapped his arms around Kokichi’s shoulders, kissing the other’s cheek playfully and Kokichi finally broke into a laugh.

“What the hell Ranty?”

“I told you I was getting you in here.” Rantaro’s head peered off to the side, “did you get it Eri?”

“Yep! Perfect! His face was so cute!” Eri giggled behind her camera.

“Ranty ruined my favorite shirt. Meanie.” Kokichi pouted and turned his head away from him.

“I’ll let you borrow mine.” Kokichi jumped when he felt Rantaro’s soft fingers pulled up the helm of his shirt and he wanted to die when he caught Kaito’s eyes narrowing in that sort of lewd glance.

“Aww, I think Kokichi has a sunburn already!” Saki teased and Kazu snickered behind her.

Once the shirt was finally pulled over his head (which Kokichi could swear took way longer than needed) and thrown over to his pool chair, Kokichi made his escape, swimming over to where Chizuru was sitting. He knew Rantaro didn’t mean anything by it beside maybe a light bit of teasing but his head reeled nonetheless.

“I didn’t know Kokichi was easily embarrassed. It’s kinda cute.” Kaede smiled.

“Shuichi’s the same way too. You should see him when I start teasing him about you.” Kokichi snickered and Shuichi, who had just poked his head up from underwater, looked around the pool in confusion.

“Wha?” 

Kokichi swam over to his roommate and flung an arm over his shoulder, “don’t worry about it, buddy!”

“Why am I suddenly scared?”

“Come on everyone! All together!” Eri cheered. Upon her request, before the drive home she wanted Kirumi to take a group photo of everyone. Eri took charge on setting everyone up, making sure the short ones were at the bottom and the taller ones near the top and it ended up with a near perfect setup of four rows of three. Kazu, Chizuru and Saki took the bottom, Kokichi, Midori and Shuichi the second row, Rantaro, Maki and Kaede the middle row and finally Sasori, Kaito and Eri at the top. Eri encouraged everyone to do more than just a plain smile and before the camera had flashed, she made sure she pulled Kaede into a tight embrace under her. The picture ended up with Sasori grinning at Kaito who was ruffling Maki’s wet hair, Rantaro leaning down to kiss Kokichi’s head, Maki looking up at Kaito with a glare, Kaede laughing while reaching a hand down to grab Shuichi’s, Midori holding Chizuru’s shoulders and Kazu and Saki bursting out into harsh laughter.

When Kirumi had handed Eri her camera back, the blonde girl squealed in excitement and her eyes softened at the sight. “I’ll make sure to print out a copy for everyone. So we never forget the fun we had today!”

“Oh! And don’t forget to send the pictures you took of me Eri!” Kaede giggled as she smiled and Eri smiled with her.

“Of course Kaede!”

“Aww, you guys got close! How cute!” Kokichi teased and grinned when Eri’s face warmed up. Kaede nodded and stood proudly next to Eri, grabbing her hand and holding it up in the air. Eri chuckled sheepishly and gulped, looking over at Kaede with timid eyes.

“Trust me, this won’t be the last bit of teasing she gets about that.” Rantaro whispered with a laugh in Kokichi’s ear and pointed to the way Saki and Kazu were whispering to each other. For a moment, Kokichi felt a bit bad that her sisters would most likely annoy her late into the night with what seemed to be a tiny crush on Kaede but despite her embarrassment, she didn’t seem to mind too much.

“Alright guys, let’s head out!” Kokichi announced, grabbing Rantaro’s hand and leading the group. They raced past Kirumi and out to the front of the house where the limo was parked, the engine quietly grumbling. As they slid inside, Kokichi leaped into Rantaro’s lap and flung an arm around his neck.

“You should let me sleepover tonight.” He chuckled and Rantaro raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not opposed to it but what do you have up your sleeve?”

Kokichi gasped and held his chest, “Ranty is a pervert. You were thinking naughty thoughts weren’t you?”

“What do you—?”

“Jeez, I’m not some hormonal kid who wants sex all the time Ranty!”

“But we haven’t even—“

“But you were thinking that when I asked to sleepover.”

“I…” Rantaro drifted off, face turning a light shade of pink and Kokichi laughed.

“Just teasing Ranty. Seriously though, let me sleepover?”

[vesperlionheart]

Enemies (to Lovers) Fluff Friday

There wasn’t supposed to be an exit he could escape through, but Sakura had tangled with the Scorpion one too many times to be so disillusioned. Sasori could make the eye of a needle his bed and the tight spaces between atoms his highway. It was one of the many qualities and gifts his ancient curse bestowed upon him. It was a shame he took up a criminal empire instead of a uniform.

The alarm had been cut and the lights, once flashing, now sat dead in their sockets. The authorities were on their way, but they would be worse than useless. Sakura had to end this as quickly as possible.

The redhead stared down at her from underneath the cover of his dark nave hood, embellished with the gold needlework of The Eye of Horus and several other Egyptian symbols. He raised on hand and the parts of his coat slipped further open, showing off the bare of his chest where a myriad of gold objects dangled, each cursed with a different power that Sakura had devoted the better part of her career to combating.

Today Sasori found another one. He held out the Gold scepter and Sakura felt a chill in her gut, praying this wasn’t the item that finally tipped the scales in his favor.

“This is my birthright,” Sasori said, righting the scepter. Behind him the display case was in a glitter mess of glass shards. The plaque that read ‘Sennen Roddo: Millennium Rod’ was cracked on the floor.

“This is your trap, honey,” Sakura cooed teasingly.

“You are a fool to think this will end well for you.”

“Doesn’t it always?” Sakura teased before moving.

They had danced like this before. She was fast, untouchable, a daughter of the stars, she wasn’t a hero he would take down so easily. Her magical abilities may not be as well developed as his, but she had a well where he was a puddle. She was young, still learning, but she knew him well enough.

Or she thought she did.

With his new millennium item he had a new set of powers to add to the list of skills he had already bested in battle. His puppets were worthless under her fists and his swordplay was no better than hers.

Sakura had tried to use gravity against him, pulling him down with a thrall of void, but his rod countered that move easily, sucking up the density from her miniature black hole. She tried with another attack and he countered that one as well. Sakura moved and he countered, Sasori moved and she dodged. It was a stiff standstill for longer than Sakura wanted to admit. Sasori was playing with her.

“Enough!” Sakura roared, punching through the body of one of his puppet body guards. She was up in his personal bubble, close enough to see his eyes widen.

Sakura felt her skin begin to glow as she prepared to discharge in his proximity. It would exhaust her, but she needed to end this. Sakura was a light. She was light. She was a star. She was starlight.

The air was gone from her and she felt herself suck out a gasp, falling to her knees as her magic was leached from her into the rod, Sasori standing over her, looking nervous but victorious. If she had gone off he wouldn’t have been so lucky, but his new toy turned the tide.

“I told you, this was foolish of you to try and best me.”

“What are you-“ Sakura gasped, almost unable to form words anymore. She tried to make sound but felt the air was truly, completely gone. Darkness was eating around the edges of her vision. She was going.

‘Kakashi was right. I should have taken backup.’ She thought before she fell atop his feet in a breathless lush.

Sakura was surprised when she woke up. She was still alive. She had anticipated the death of her mortal form and the long, laborious process of reshaping herself from the particles of her magic. Hadn’t Sasori threatened to kill her in the past? She lost, a first. Why had he kept her alive.

She turned over and felt part of the reason swish in the movement. She pushed up off the bed and looked down, touching at the folds of her long, white cotton dress. There was a shimmery see through attachment at the neck that connected to her wrists and flowed out behind her. She turned and pulled the navy colored fabric up for inspection and saw stars and constellations painted in gold patterns. It reminded her of the things she wore when she first stumbled into form behind Tsunade’s forest so many years ago.

There were no chains, no robes, no binding, not even a threatening dungeon in sight. Sakura sat up on the edge of the bed and looked around, noticing how the room’s back was open to a expansive terrace with the doors left wide open.

She climbed out of bed and walked out in her bare feet, seeing a wild sight of rolling sand dunes and a binary sun-scape. It wasn’t like anything she had ever seen on earth.

“Where is this?” Sakura breathed, walking over to the railing and grabbing the edges. There was an oasis below and some sort of garden for lounging and enjoyment.

“You’re awake.”

Sakura spun, hands raised defensively in the direction of the voice of her enemy. Sasori didn’t flinch in the slightest, but swirled the wine in his glass a little more.

“You,” Sakura breathed, eyes wide. “What have you done with me and where are we? Why am I still alive and not one of your puppets?”

The redhead narrowed his eyes at her, not unkindly, and lifted the glass to his lips to sip from. Sakura noticed then that he was shirtless, dressed in a long white skirt, bronze colored sandals, and a metal collar piece that spread out like an eagle across the upper portion of his chest. He looked like some tacky sort of Prince of Egypt knockoff, or he would have in that costume if he wasn’t so incredibly handsome already. Good genetics saved a hollywood disaster wardrobe. Sasori could probably look good in a sack cloth.

“I see you’re fine enough to be up and moving. You weren’t out long, but I didn’t expect less. Welcome to my world, a land of my own making.”

“Where have you taken me, Sasori?” Sakura asked again, not understanding his words.

“This is not a place you or any of your friends could reach. We are inside of the Millennial Eye.”

“What? I thought that item only transported you places.”

He huffed and there was a small curl to his lips that made her think he was amused. “Yes, places. Any place I so choose, even a place of my own dreaming. You’ll not be rescued here so try and make the best of it.”

“Yeah, I’m going to be freaked about that later, but why would you bring me somewhere like here? You should have killed me or made me into one of your puppets. Isn’t that what you’ve threatened in the past? What do you want from me now?”

“You’re preceptive to see there is more to this. Yes, I have wants. Making you into a puppet is not one of them.”

Sakura grew irritated as a nagging suspicion formed deep in her gut. It felt like he was teasing her. “You haven’t answered my question. What do you want?”

Sasori drank more from his wine, draining the glass. “I will be satisfied,” he began to say as he slowly lowered the glass, “With your company at dinner, knowing this prison is one you will never break on your own.” He smirked at her, fully and completely before turned and becoming her down to the gazebo be the palms where a feast was waiting.

Sakura watched him leave, a bit taken aback, before she gave in a followed him there.

He had kept her a week before Sakura was too stir crazy to avoid or verbally lash out at him every free minute of the day. He would come to taunt her, enjoy her reactions, and leave her in ways she couldn’t follow.

Sasori had been right about there not being a way out. Sakura had tried, even combusting a few times, but nothing seemed to dent the fabric of the reality. His magic was from an older time, one before even her consciousness.

When he came into the gazebo she best loved to relax in she didn’t get up to yell at him or bite curses off in his direction. Lazily she looked up from her needlework and then dismissed him with a huff to return to her cross stitch, flipping the needle in and out in steady motions.

Her inaction seemed to have caught him off guard. He almost looked disappointed, but after a moment he pulled up a chair and relaxed into it, watching her.

“What is that?” he asked, after a long moment of wordlessness.

Sakura didn’t looking up from her stitching. “Needlepoint.”

“I see that, but what are you making?”

Sakura paused, but didn’t look up at him. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll know when it’s done.”

She heard him hum in acknowledgment before settling into the chair, content to watch her work. He was patient, more so than most men Sakura had encountered. Sasori could out wait them all.

Sakura paused, setting her things down on her lap to star back over her shoulder at him. “Is there something I can help you with or was there something you came to say?”

“You are delicate in your art. That is admirable,” he commented after a long moment of just staring at her face.

Sakura felt her lips tug down. “Sasori, what do you want with me?” she sighed, deflating in her seat.

He had found a pillow to draw into his lap and knead in idle entertainment. “You do not know?”  he asked, softly, eyes searching hers. “It’s been days together and still you refuse to entertain the possibility I might-“

“Be honest with me,” Sakura cut him off, annoyed with his puppy dog eyes and the too soft lips that told lies too easily.

His soft eyes turned hard as he threw the pillow down and stood. “I am serious with you. Do you think I would have aspired to take anyone into the intimacy of my world, keep them alive and catered to them so well after years of rivalry? Do you think I would have done half as much with a lack of feelings?”

“I know better than to believe you,” Sakura hummed, looking back down at the needle and cloth in her lap. She reached for them again but his hand was there, throwing it aside and planting himself directly in front of her. She looked up and glared, ready for a fight.  

“You know nothing of how I feel,” he said before bending down to slip his lips over hers, catching the back of her head with his hand and holding onto her wrist with the other.

It lasted less than a moment before he pulled away. His eyes were hungry, seeing everything in her before he turned and stalked out, taking the daylight with him and ushering in night.

He didn’t hide from her like she thought he would. He put himself in her vision every chance he could get, even if they weren’t in physical proximity to each other. Sakura let him do as he pleased, anticipating another kiss or some other form of aggressive affection, but he dared not touch her again.

Sakura tried to lie to herself about how she wasn’t disappointed.

She found him by the waters on the last marble step into the pool of lily pads and clear water. He looked up as he heard her approach, but didn’t move away or towards her. He simply watched her take up a place beside him on the last step.

“We’ve been on opposite sides for years now,” she said, watching fireflies dance across the waters. “Why would you say something like that to your enemy?”

“It never mattered to me what you were,” he scoffed. “Enemies are still capable of love. I never hated you.”

Sakura scoffed, flicking the water with her toe. “You’ve tried to kill me, more than once.”

“I was never such a threat,” he chuckled, eyes narrowed in amusement. “You were too great to be in any mere danger.”

“I’ve known you for years, we’ve fought for years. Whe-when did you…?” Sakura staggered on the words, unable to force them out. ‘When did you start to like me?’

“I don’t know. I think it might have been always, but the admiration was always there, from the moment I first beheld your splendor. It didn’t matter you were my opposite, the one who kept me from my plans. Every time we met I think I fell a little further.”  

“But we’er enemies, Sasori.”

He turned to her, eyes suddenly bright with courage. “That’s why I brought you here. Out there is where the morals hang, but here, no one need know what we share between us. No one has to know about us, I know this could ruin you, but here there is a hope.”

“Sasori…I….” She shook her head, feeling heat stir in her with uncomfortable familiarity. “I can’t be that for you. I can’t stop being who I am for a dream.”

“I’m not asking you to change, I wouldn’t expect that and I don’t want that. I fell in love with the star who championed her justice and mercy and goodness.” His voice caught towards the end and he swallowed nervously, a shaky smile on his face. She wasn’t used to seeing him smile and it made her unsettled in a thrilling way. She wanted to say she liked his smile.

She shook her head, needing to break eye contact before she be too far drawn in. “I don’t know. It’s not something you could just ask of anyone. You can’t ask me to suddenly feel something for you.”

He reached for her, tentative and hesitant. When she didn’t pull away he took her by the arm and drew her into an embrace he could fold into. She felt him breath her in and press her closer to his chest. His heart was a fluttering thing she could hear. “You don’t have to say you love me. No one means it anyway.” His voice was a flutter in her ear as his hand reached up to run long fingers through her hair. She heard him catch on his words more than once. “Just let me love you, and you can pretend to love me. I don’t mind.”

Sakura didn’t say anything, but she pulled her face away and drew his down to kiss.

It was a month later when her stitching was finished. Sakura held the swatch of fabric up, filled it with magic, and tore it clean through. A tear then opened up in the world around her, the same shape and size as the one in her hand, only magnified and she walked through.

Sasori found out shortly thereafter, hands full of gifts from Paris and deserts from Italy. His world was empty and there was nothing he could dream up to heal that scar in his heart.

He searched for her in the real world, desperately. His contacts came up fruitless, and not even her allies seemed to know where she was, or if they did his spices couldn’t tell. Some believed she went back to the stars and she wasn’t anywhere reachable anymore, but Sasori refused to believe she was somewhere beyond his reach, somewhere he would never be able to touch her again.

Others said she was dead, beaten at her own game at long last. Sasori didn’t let those rumors leave with their teeth.

Going back to the oasis world was too painful. He could scarcely step back into it without wanting to rip it apart and un-dream it all. But there was no way he could do that. In his weakest moments he went back there, to the pool, to the gazebo, to the pillows where he held her and pretended she was still there, just out of sight, lying to him sweetly.

He hated himself after those nights, and tried his best not to be that weak. After another excursion across the black forest he returned to his flat and stilled at the sensation of not being alone.

There was a music playing on the old record player he hadn’t touched in months.

A dozen different arms brandishing blades dripping with poison were pulled out from the folds of his cloak, ready and tensed.

“Put those away before you hurt someone,” Sakura lazily commented, leaning back in his favorite armchair with one knee propped behind the other. She turned her head to the side and looked at him again. “You weren’t easy to find.”

“You…” Sasori didn’t believe it. She was in his flat, willingly, perched so delicately in one of his favorite places like she knew it was where he would gravitate to. He didn’t have the words for her. All he could do was stare.

Was this where she killed him? He deserved it. Maybe he would let her. It would hurt less than having to live without her after he had tasted her paradise.

Sakura lifted a finger and paused before speaking. “First, you don’t trap me or strip me of my autonomy ever again. I won’t be caged and made your lesser in anything ever.” She lifted a second finger. “Second, you quit the criminal empire and the villain known as Scorpion hangs up his villain cape. I won’t be getting into any morally compromising commitments. And third,” she paused before adding a third finger, “You accept what I say now as truth:I never lied to you in that world. Never, not even once.s”

Never lied? But she told him she loved him just like he asked. She had told him plenty of lies. She had told him she cared for him, secrets of her childhood, of her fears and doubts. She had been so bare with him that had to have been a lie. And yet…

“Sakura, what are you doing here?” he asked, voice raw with a new emotion. He felt afraid of her. Afraid to break her, afraid to be broken by her again.

She dropped her fingers and gave him a stare like it was obvious. “Really? You have to ask that after all we’ve been through. I came back to you, freely, all on my own. You told me you fell in love with who I am, but who I am is a person that will not be caged or manipulated into love.”

She uncrossed her legs and shifted to the other direction in the seat. “If you still love me, please kiss me,” she requested softly, watching him openly.

Sasori did not hesitate.

“I have suffered through too many worlds without you.”