#and there is something to be said about the female experience here
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
things are wrong with this man.
#season 1 Blaine my beloved. you are such a catastrophe.#izombie#fandom#blaine debeers#liv moore#there are many reasons why I love this scene (in fact it might be one of my favourite scenes of the entire show)#but something I enjoy particularly (and that puzzles me a little) is how a lot of articles and stuff you find about this scene#they talk about how Blaine was supposed to come across as ambiguous or even make us believe he might just be good and misunderstood#but really little everything he says and does is dripping with manipulation or just...straight up showing us how messed up he is#and Liv is clearly picking up on it but Ravi isn't#and there is something to be said about the female experience here#but seriously his soul is an empty can of tomato soup with a rock clonking against the sides.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
been thinking of ppl saying that mizuena should've been in a yuri or josei manga that isn't popular which is a sentiment i understand bc yes a hypothetical mizuki akiyama that exists in a yuri or josei manga would probably have her transness made explicit i guess (absolutely not guaranteed tho imo considering the amount of transfem manga i've read that quickly veer into third sexing u_u) but even if i accept this premise at face value i'm not fully onboard with it bc i feel like her character exists best in something like prsk bc she exists as a response to trans girls being into things like love live, revue starlight, bandori, etc. it's in her metanarrative…
not saying gacha game writing is always good … a lot of ppl often say it's frustrating how much it expects you to fill in the gaps (bc that's part of audience engagement) and ena5 was arguably gachapilled abt it but i think it makes sense. gacha thrives on implied queerness bc even when the writers are passionate about what they're writing abt they can't risk alienating executives and wider audiences bc writing queerness in something 'mainstream' is often complicated? so it's not always the writers' choice? i think mizuki is pretty Explicitly transfem though. the only "issue" with her writing to me is that they don't let her say this, which i also only consider a problem /at all/ bc when she's outed it's pretty explicit? gacha often has very character driven writing … the queerness is often also an Audience Draw. i wish they would at minimum call mizuki a girl. textually. i want ena to call her a cute girl … though considering how many ppl go "ano ko", she's getting called a cute girl all the time lol.
with that being said, i think the picnic event is one of my main examples of things that make me go,,, mizuki's character works best in the context of something like prsk as a response to things like bandori bc it's about a tgirl vs cgirl idols. that mixed events inherently highlight mizuki's circumstances as "othered" by society around her and the inherent complications of her own life vs others. ppl compare mafuyu and toya sometimes also but it's so bare bones by comparison bc mafuyu is literally in a dissociative cPTSD fugue at all times. it's about so much more than being forced into a life goal she doesn't want. everything about how her mother has raised her has warped her as a person. made her unable to see healthy or more objective realities. mizuki and mafuyu both have wanted desperately to die and disappear. mizuki even now … struggles so much with that and being around "normal" ppl is hard for her bc of it bc no matter how she tries, she can't be a normal girl. an average girl. so she has to be abnormal or exceptional. no in between. how she exists in contrast to bandori is so genuine in that engagement with gender and i specify bandori bc it's colopales other game.
going back to the picnic event i love the moment when they're eating the food airi prepared and talking about how airi and shizuku are "idols who are capable of bringing others hope", but then mizuki quickly goes from admiration to somberness, wishing she could be the same as them ... and even when the others bring up the music she makes with her circle it doesn't do much to cheer her up? it reads so much to me as a trans girl struggling with an inherent sense of inferiority amidst cis girls who have never had their own girlhood questioned in the way she has and can thus take so much for granted! ena might be really ruthless and mean in a way that is atypical of femininity and airi may have struggled with not being traditionally feminine and was bullied for failing to act out "proper" girlhood, but she still has a very different experience from mizuki and neither can compare to the constant transmisogyny and degendering that mizuki constantly has to go through every day and having her identity denied so vehemently on a systemic level.
it's so pointed to me bc mizuki is an idol fan and has that genre awareness ... the way trans girls often connect with media like mahou shouio and idols but despite their love for it, still feel an inherent sense of alienation due to being an Other ... bc there's a separation between "liking these girls and these things" abstractly versus actually meeting them, and i think it's interesting that there's literally no way in the context of this game that any of these girls could be idols and trans, specifically bc mizuki is a trans girl who can't be one and this game predicates a major portion of its story around mizuki As A Trans Girl! if mizuki tried to be an idol, she'd be outed and harassed! that's a fear she already has to live with when she's making music with niigo even though it's safer due to its anonymity. transness and idols don't have to be disconnected of course, but her being a trans girl who's a fan of this stuff who's disallowed the opportunity to directly take part in them is So fucking important. her engagement with all of this.
this is an event about ena's relationships with other women but also how mizuki exists in the borderlines of girlhood ... how no one else is so prepared as she is for things going wrong and how much she has had to take on undue responsibility in the world at large just to "exist"... she's protected at home but everywhere otherwise, she always has to take responsibility for how others see her, how others project onto her, how others expect her to act, and the event ends with mizuki still declining ena's offer to join the group call with airi and shizuku bc it didn't resolve anything ... bc simply repressing her own insecurities and fears in the moment to rescue ena and airi bc it's more important to act didn't help in the grand scheme of things when this is something mizuki is always expected to do! ena did it out of kindness, but it's terrifying to be invited to a group trip with her childhood friend who is actually a cool and beautiful idol, and then for another beautiful idol to be there. and both of them are so pleasant and sweet and nice. how is mizuki supposed to interact around ppl like that, after all?
the mizuena in the picnic event is so fucking vital bc of ena trying to give mizuki comfort but making her more and more discomforted, which is good buildup to my footsteps, your destination. it's about how mizuki still exists on the fringes of girlhood even when someone is actively making effort to make her feel "included" and the invisible yet uncrossable barrier that exists between her as a trans girl who loves things like idols and idols themselves (who are predominantly cis girls). airi and shizuku are very sweet! but it's… kind of agonizing, bc airi was already ena's "friend" and mizuki feels like she has no place in the lives of others and wouldn't deserve to be ena's friend if ena found out about her transness, which is why she clings to the plausible deniability around her gender status. airi is someone who can bond with ena and be close to her much more easily bc of their shared experience with misogyny, but this is something mizuki has to struggle for much more even though the misogyny she struggles with is even more Amplified due to how the [trans]misogyny she experiences is often denied and erased even among other girls...
#again cis girls can be idols and inspire others through their art without having to hide who they are...#of course we know that misogyny is rampant in the entertainment industry and celebraties are abused in different ways#but again! this experience is something mizuki is utterly denied and even if she were to ever step a foot into it /somehow/#whatever girls like airi and shizuku are subjected to she'd have hundred times worse bc of her transness#also the fact that she can 'enjoy' mmj bc of their disconnect from official agencies#but also having to be in a position of... “voyeurism”#i also think a lot about mizuki's favorite being minori bc she's the underdog?#someone who hasn't even been an idol through the 'official' mean but is trying to catch up by going indie from the start#but even that is something mizuki can't imagine for herself doing bc she wouldn't be able to escape public scrutiny in this case either?#there are so many impies to read into how mizuki interacts with ena's idol friends#and i just really appreciate how it always engages with the complexity of how mizuki exists alongside womanhood#and how even when ppl don't “know” she's always having to be on edge#also sorry if some of this is incomprehensible most of this is just me rambling#but i think there's so much to be said about how bandori was made for female fans of love live#and how prsk is made for female fans of bandori that i kinda touch on here? blehhh#also what initially triggered this train of thought is a silly statement that i don't think should be taken seriously#but am using it as an excuse to yap ^_^#project sekai#gamo.txt
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am once again having a sexuality crisis (read: wondering if I’m a lesbian or just have been stuck in my hometown for too long yet again and therefore haven’t seen a man who doesn’t look vaguely like a fish in years)
#here’s the problem as i understand it#i have had romantic feelings for several men and i also find quite a lot of men attractive#i don’t know if it’s just because i feel more comfortable feeling and displaying attraction to men because it’s what society expects#or if this is something that is actually genuinely coming from me#and at this point i overthink it so much i would really never know if it’s organic or not#what i DO know is i am not sexually attracted to men at all. when i’ve hooked up with men they do nothing for me#i can conjure up the perfect man in my mind; fantasise about him and nothing happens#this does not happen to me with women#i feel like i’ve been romantically attracted to way less women than men but also physically and sexually attracted to women a lot more ofte#and again — i don’t know if this is society & my own psychology messing with my sense of attraction#because obviously female nudity and sexualisation is all over the place all of the time#when i was younger i actually just thought women were objectively more attractive than men and that everyone thought that lol#i thought my friends were exaggerating when they said they wanted to kiss or have sex with men#i still to some degree think that. like it’s hard for me to imagine being enthusiastic about sex with a man#but can i imagine being in love with one? ehhhhhh… probably#see but what is the POINT if i’d never want to have sex with him? i know asexuals exist but i’m not one#i’d be setting myself up for an unsatisfying sex life#so it seems to make more sense to me to take the overall concept of dating men off the table since it’s not productive and can’t satisfy me#but then what if i fall in love with one anyway. what then. that’d be just my luck#no label ever seems to fit what i have going on with me and i don’t know if that’s because the main thing that’s going on is my head isn’t#screwed on right and i overthink and pathologise every experience i have#can’t even have a crush without wondering if i’m just doing it to get some excitement in my life#i’m not even sure any of it exists. maybe i should just declare myself aroace to give everyone else some peace#personal
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to stop going on Instagram it just makes me mad at this point
#radiostatic.txt#hate whatever is going on with the instagram algorithm because it only shows be stuff I don't want to see#''don't recommend me posts like this'' I say. ''ok'' says instagram. ''how about posts sorta like it but worse?''#or ''hey I saw you liked this one cute post so like here's a bunch of ones kinda like that but they're going to male you want to scream''#noooooooo!#today it was a post by some woman about how she feels guilty that she got her bunny spayed because now it'll never be a mom#like first off. IT'S A BUNNY. your bunny is not going to get depressed because it'll never experience childbirth or motherhood#second off. the cancer rate for unspayed female bunnies is EXTREMELY high.#Our vet said that it's almost guaranteed they'll get cancer by the time they turn 4/5 if they're not spayed#female bunnies also tend to be more aggressive/territorial and spaying them helps a lot with the hormones and such#there are literally no drawbacks to getting your bunny spayed. none.#it is something you have to do if you want your bunny to live a full healthy life#and like if you go take a look at rabbit shelters they're always full.#there are way more bunnies that need homes than there are homes to give them#there is no fucking reason to make your bunny get pregnant and have litter just so it can ''experience motherhood''#IT'S A BUNNY. IT DOES NOT SHARE YOUR HUMAN VALUES ON MOTHERHOOD
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know when you get a friend that was even more "tomboyish" than you were in your teens and then as the both of you grow up and enter college, you see them explore expressing themselves more femininely and absolutely fall in love with it and with the concept of womanhood - while you on the other hand become all the more estranged with "being a woman" because good God you really don't fucking get it and that seeing your once-tomboyish friend find joy and an emotional connection to womanhood makes you really realize that you have no such connection whatsoever, hence making you feel left behind in actually "becoming a woman"? Anyways what I'm trying to say here is I'm definitely not fucking cis-
#when i told my cis girl classmates that i feel nothing but indifference towards the concept of womanhood or girlhood#they felt really fuckin sorry for me#and i'm like my bros my dudes i dont really give that much of a fuck for something i don't really understand in the first place#like of course i know feminist theory and all that and as someone born a woman i know and experience and study gender struggles deeply#be it with double standards or dealing with gross perverted dudes#that being said - i dont know what being a woman is outside of our shared struggle in patriarchal structures#like when u take away all the shit we definitely need to fight for - what else is there left for me to enjoy on a personal level#and the answer to that is nothing because i never really gave a fuck about gender be it now or as a child#perhaps its due to my upbringing as well na like i was more responsibility minded but still#to see once really tomboyish classmates grow to love being a woman makes me feel lonely because how can i love a concept i cant comprehend#so anyways when i told this dilemma to a nonbinary-questioning friend of mine he jumped with joy because BESTIE SOLIDARITY#and my bro here was never female to begin with and yet he fully understood my disconnect to concepts of gender#and the coming of age rites that come with them like 'nagiging dalaga na talaga' 'ay nagbibinatilyo na to'#so um yea#thats my ramvle for today and my update on my gender crisis#i dont mind being called a woman tho like im used to it and it doesnt unnerve me - but id rather not be like trapped in having to be that#so um woo#personal shit
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
show & tell (SMG x reader).
part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.
SUMMARY:
You have known Mingi since you both were fourteen. You’ve been by his side through thick and thin and you would do anything for him, really, considering he’s your other half. When he has an unfortunate bed experience and asks for your help and you say yes, he starts considering that, maybe, you’re just the best friend a guy like him can have.
PAIRING: best friend!mingi x afab reader.
GENRE: childhood best friends to ?
WORD COUNT: 8k.
WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, wooyoung being a little shit, hwa being the voice of reason, sex talk, pet names (love and also dude and bro but in a sweet way), mingi scaring the sense out of you, descriptions of female anatomy, kissing, dirty talk (sort of), teasing, a little bit of voyeurism, fingering, squirting, almost getting caught, unresolved feelings.
NOTES: had to do a lot of research for this one, so i figured nothing better to post as my first fic here! this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3
POSTED: july 18th 2024.
masterlist. / part two.
“Delete her number right now!”
“She's such a bitch for saying that to you…”
“And over text too? Wow.”
“Yeah, no, I didn't like her from the start.”
Wooyoung’s living room comes to life once again that morning, voices echoing and insults flying out, all towards the girl Mingi’s seeing.
Was seeing. You're sure she's out of his usual rotation with the lovely shit show she just caused.
You stay silent, your eyes fixed on your best friend's expression, on his red cheeks and apologetic eyes because everyone told him that girl was bad news.
He should've listened to you when you told him you liked her friend better. She was a sweet girl, clearly had a thing for Mingi.
Unfortunately, Mingi has a type. And that type always ends up breaking his spirit one way or another.
But you stay silent, letting your friends have their little rants about how much of a bitch she is for hurting Mingi's ego like that, until he covers up his face with his hands and lets out a frustrated whine.
“That's enough, everyone. I think he got it.” You smile a little and everyone turns to you, Yunho’s chest heaving and everything but Seonghwa (who also kept his mouth shut all this time) interferes before anyone else has the chance to start again.
“You know you shouldn't feel ashamed for that, right?” he asks Mingi, who slowly lowers his hands to his lap and looks at you for a brief second. You nod, confirming what Hwa says “No one is born knowing everything and she shouldn't expect you to know how to make a girl squirt.”
“Jesus Christ,” Mingi whines again, closing his eyes “Don't say it like that.”
“How else should I say it?” Seonghwa is confused but he laughs a little bit and turns to you.
Being the only girl in the room, you think everyone it's expecting you to pick your friend up and join them in their insults but you can't (for Mingi’s sake). Instead, you let out a sigh “I mean, it's hard to even make it happen on your own without any help, Mingi. I don't know what the fuck she's on but…” shrugging, you extend your arm to pat him in the shoulder two times “Hwa’s right.”
“So you do know?”
“Woo—” Hongjoong reprimands right away and you turn to Wooyoung, confused.
“Huh?”
“You said that it's hard making it happen,” he explains, smiling because he just found a new target for the next few days “So you must know.”
Talking about sex with them was never difficult, it didn't make you uncomfortable whatsoever but you know what Woo is doing.
You look down at Mingi before answering though and his eyes are glued to the carpet, begging for the topic of his unfortunate encounter with that bitch to die on everyone's tongue.
So you take mercy on him.
“Oh. I mean… Yeah.” You shrug once again, leaning back against the cushions on the couch while Wooyoung claps like he just heard the most hilarious joke ever.
“You truly are amazing.”
Rolling your eyes, you get up from your comfy seat “Sure. But it took a lot of practice and the whole ordeal was frustrating for me, so, again, I don't know what the fuck she was on,” you say again, smiling down at Mingi before taking a few steps towards the door “It's noon already, by the way.”
“Shit.” Woo gets up quickly from his spot on the floor and everyone else follows suit.
“Alright, everyone out! We have a midterm to cheat on.” San calls out and everyone takes it as their sign to actually leave (not just hang around the apartment) and continue with their days.
This reunion was a little impromptu, just because Wooyoung texted everyone begging to come over and hang out with him and San before their online philosophy midterm.
“And by that he means that you need to stay,” Wooyoung hugs Seonghwa hard, almost begging him with his eyes “We didn't study… Don't look at me like that! Please?”
“I'm not doing your fucking midterm for you!”
You chuckle, leaning on the door and waiting for your ride home to get his shoes on. When you look down at him again, Mingi mouths a thank you and you blow him a kiss.
When you get downstairs, you swear you still hear Wooyoung begging his senior to take the test for him.
Everyone is quiet in the car. You can tell they're tired from exams and life in general, so you don't press them with questions and just let the music play in the background while you look out the passenger window and, eventually, at Mingi.
His grip on the steering wheel lets you know he's a little more affected than he let on back there. But, again, you say nothing.
You know better than to pressure him into telling you his feelings.
Mingi and you have been friends forever. He lived a few houses down from yours, becoming your first friend when you moved to the city. You both were fourteen when it happened, so you've known him long enough to know what happens when he gets his heart broken.
Not that Mingi loved that girl or anything, but he never really took embarrassment well. He didn't when the first girl he liked rejected him in front of the whole ninth grade class and he didn't when his pants ripped in the middle of the stage while performing a routine with his dance team on senior year.
You stood by his side every single time and every single time he waited to sit down and let everything out, collect his feelings and talk to you through his frustrations. You really loved that about him, because he never said anything he regretted just because he was upset at the moment.
Maybe that's why you two have been friends for so long. Opposites attract, or whatever your mother told you one time.
In reality, you think it's because you two complement each other well.
He knows when to speak his mind and you're kind of impulsive, heart on your sleeve and sharp tongue ready to defend your and your loved ones honor if needed.
That's why it takes a lot of strength for you to not pull up that girl's number from his phone and give her a piece of your mind.
One by one, you drop your friends off in different parts of the city and when it's time to go into your own house, you circle the car and Mingi rolls his window down.
He reads the look you give him a little too well, so he opens his mouth to stop you but you shake your head.
“Call me, come over or just let me know if you need anything,” you start before he says anything “If you need me to beat her up, I can do that too.”
He huffs out a laugh “You don't even know how to fight, love.”
You sigh at the nickname, he's been using it since the time you told him you had a crush on his friend, way back in highschool, and that you were positive you were going to get together and he would call you love because that's what good boyfriend's do.
Turns out, you weren't exactly his friend's type. Neither were the other girls in your school.
“I don't give a shit, I'll do it,” You two smile to each other fondly for a few seconds and then you tap the top of the car “Thanks for the ride, dude.”
“You’re welcome, bro.” He rolls his eyes, annoyed because he hates when you call him that, but waits for you to get inside either way.
And in the solitude of your room, you wait.
You distract yourself with papers that are due in a few days, you start studying for your finals even though they're months away and you even go downstairs to say goodbye to your parents when they leave for a fancy dinner with their colleagues before you hear your phone ring.
Mingi's FaceTime comes right on time, because you were getting really anxious from the radio silence on his end.
“I have a small query for you.” He puts on an accent that makes you grimace immediately and he laughs at you.
“Ew. Never do that ever again,” you beg, going back upstairs to your room “Go ahead.”
“How do you do it?”
“Excuse me?”
“How the fuck do you make yourself squirt, love?”
Oh.
Definitely not the conversation you were hoping to have with him.
It catches you off guard and you stammer your response “Um… You— I mean, it's not really a thing I can explain.”
“You have such a way with words, though.”
You stare at him through the screen, annoyed, and he just laughs again “Don't make me come over and beat you up.”
“Alright, alright,” his giggling dies out and you distract yourself from the heat you feel creeping over your cheeks while putting away your statistics prep for the quiz you have next week. There's a bit of silence and then you hear him sigh “I do really want to know, though.”
“If you're asking me this to then go over to her house and prove her wrong, I'm not telling you shit.”
“No! No, that's not it at all,” he defends himself quickly when you turn your head to the camera, scowl in your face “When she asked me to do it, I really did try to make her, you know…”
“You said squirt so freely a minute ago, Mingi,” you tease, smiling, but at his expression, you give in “What exactly did you do?”
“I tried to, you know, do it like they do it in the movies,” he demonstrates his point with his free hand, his middle and ring finger down on his sheets, pressing and moving side to side “And she was enjoying it and she came, but nothing really… came out.”
“Wow, first of all: you make her come and she has the nerve to give you shit over text? I hate her,” you shake your head, disappointment written all over your face “and second of all, that was a terrible mistake.”
“What? Going like this?” He does it again and you roll your eyes, laughing a second later.
“No, dude, trying to porno your way into making her squirt.”
“Oh.” His movements on the sheets slow down and you grimace again.
“Please stop doing that,” you beg and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you through the screen. You take your phone and move to the bed, resting your head against the pillows with a huff.
You ponder for a moment. You're sure telling him what he wants to hear it's not really a threat to your friendship, but it's also something that's very personal and intimate. You can talk about sex with Mingi and the other guys, sure, what doesn't mean you tell them about your sex life.
Maybe that's why Wooyoung was so excited earlier today, because you spilled something that involves you directly and not something vague and general like you usually do.
“Would it give you peace of mind if I explained it to you?” You ask, your voice barely a whisper as you sit straight on the bed.
Your best friend takes what feels like a lifetime to respond and, when does, it's in a hushed tone as well “Please.”
You groan and you comply either way, trying to find the right words to even start “Okay, I'm going to be very technical about this.”
“I wouldn't expect anything else from you.”
His teasing tone makes you glare at him for a few seconds before dismissing it with a click of your tongue “The very first thing you need to make sure happens, is that you wash your hands—”
“Yes, Y/N, I'm not a virgin,” he huffs this time, annoyed “I know all of that, just skip to the part where I make her squirt.”
“Jesus, fine! I also want to clarify that this works on me and I'm not really sure if it'll work on anyone else, alright?” he nods and you look away from the screen because you're not sure how to look him in the eyes “The first thing that I do— The first thing that you need to do,” you correct yourself quickly “Is make sure she's comfortable. And I mean, the space. Towels, water bottles… She needs to hydrate a lot.”
“Hydrate… a… lot…” You turn your head to the screen and your jaw goes slack at what you see.
“Are you writing this down?!”
“I’m making sure I don't forget anything!”
“You're unbelievable…” You let out under your breath and take a deep one before resuming the, apparently, class “Squirting can be confused as peeing and—”
“Shit, hold on.” He interrupts and you hear his mom’s voice at the door, asking him something you can't really catch through the shitty airpod audio “It's just Y/N… I'm not really saying anything so I don't understand how I'm being too loud for— Yes ma'am.”
You try not to laugh because he's literally being scolded right in front of you.
Old habits die hard, and Mingi's mom loves to put him on the spot.
Your laugh dies hard as well, because the next words, for some reason, make your heart drop to your ass.
“She's telling me to either cut it out or go to your house, so… I'm coming over.”
“Oh, I— Hello?” Your lockscreen mocks you because the call literally ended before you could tell him to go and fuck himself “Shit.”
You don't know why you panic, but you do. You tidy up the room, you change your pajamas into something more presentable and you try to remember what you were telling him before he pulls open your bedroom door.
“Mingi! Fuck, you scared the shit out of me “ you're panting, hand over your chest.
He’s also panting, like he runned to get to your house, but he looks dumbfounded by your reaction “Your mom literally gave me the spare keys in your presence.”
When he steps closer, you notice he's wearing cologne and that his hair it's a little wet, still, so you figure he took a shower before calling you tonight.
Which means he probably wanted to sleep everything off, like he usually does, but whatever this is made him call you.
“Yeah! But I thought you— Nevermind.” He shrugs and gives your hair a kiss before he moves to sit at your desk, the same way he usually does when he steals your laptop and notes to complete his assignments for the few classes you share.
God. Somehow, you wish he was doing just that so it brings back some sense of normalcy. Maybe then, your heart can calm down enough for you to understand why this specific situation has your senses going insane.
You sit back down on your bed and try to get your heart back to its place in the meantime.
“They're not home, right? I didn't see your dad’s car.”
“Company dinner.”
“Ah.” He nods and you both fall in uncomfortable silence. It shouldn't be awkward, but it kind of is, even if you laugh when he pulls out the notebook he was writing on from underneath his oversized shirt and steals a pen from your pencil case, it's still a little weird.
You gulp.
“So, squirting can be confused as peeing.” He recalls the last thing you said with a smile and then he turns to look at you for a second “Go on.”
You're grateful he's taking notes all of the sudden. He's turned to you, so you have a clear view of his back and you can freely take a grounding breath before continuing “It can make you feel very uncomfortable if you think you're going to pee yourself and that's really why most women don't squirt in the first place.”
“You sound like you're reading a textbook.” He confesses with a laugh.
“I told you, I'm being very technical about this— Besides, I did my research when I was trying to…” you gulp again “You know.”
“You said squirt so freely a minute ago.” Mingi teases you the same way you teased him earlier and you squint your eyes in return.
“Very funny. Anyways… Yeah, when you feel that, you usually tense up. You need to relax before even making it happen,” he nods, writing it down quickly “I also read that, depending on the person, you can confuse the liquid with, like, usual… arousal? Yeah, arousal” you sound more confident the second time you say it, unsure on how to call it because you never really explained anything related to your vagina to anyone else.
He turns to you, confused “So… If she doesn't squirt a lot, how can I tell if she did it?”
“I guess you'll notice it in her reaction?” You shrug and then cough a little to try and get rid of the sudden lump on your throat “I mean, it's not my case, so I wouldn't… I wouldn't know that.”
Mingi, because -you guess- hates you, just raises a brow and looks you over one time before turning back to his notes.
“A-anyways,” you cough again “It's all in her g-spot. It happens because it gets stimulated and that g-spot it's like…” you, once again, try to find the ideal words to explain “It's like the upper wall of the vagina? No, no, that's not right,” you see him draw a line over what he clearly wrote down on the paper and you laugh, apologetic “It's more like the, uh… Like the front wall of it.”
“Front wall?”
“Y-yeah?” you offer, nervous and unsure “I mean… Ugh, let me explain again. Something that you need to take into account is that you can only find it if she's really, really turned on.”
“O… kay.”
“Sort of like when you get hard we, uh, also get hard. Just differently,” you notice he's no longer taking notes when you turn to him again and the room is suddenly very hot.
The AC’s on, right?
Fuck.
“And apparently it only really shows up when you're really aroused. The g-spot, I mean,” Quickly, you're up from your bed and walking around it, fetching your water bottle and taking a big gulp of it with your eyes closed.
Mingi clears his throat a second later.
“So it feels hard to the touch or…”
“Not really, um… It kinda feels like a berry.”
He laughs “What?”
“Yeah, it's kind of soft but it has a texture to it too. And we, uh… have this gland that fills up with the liquid— Kind of like a prostate gland! Yeah, that's what that article said,” putting even more distance within Mingi and you, you sit back on the bed, just on the other side “If you try to do it before it fills up, you end up with nothing. That's what frustrated me the whole time I was learning how to do it.”
“You didn't drink enough water?”
“No, no— It fills up when you get really turned on. And when I was trying, I was trying way too hard and didn't, uh… I didn't do a lot of foreplay before trying, s-so.” You nod, finishing the explanation in a softer voice.
Your cheeks feel hot and you swear your upper lip is sweating a bit. Why would you even say that?
“Y-you didn't touch yourself enough or…?”
“Exactly, I didn't, I just… Tried t-to stimulate it. Wasn't even wet enough so I used, uh, lube.”
“Oh… Lube. Sure, okay.” He nods again, and then moves his hand over his face, looking away for a second “And then?”
“I'm not really sure how to… Give me a second.”
What were you even telling him before exposing yourself like that? Before the tension in the room skyrocketed in a suffocating way? You're not sure.
Oh, foreplay. Okay, what's next?
“Fingering,” you say out loud when you remember and at the sudden word Mingi turns to you, eyes wide and you stumble over your words yet again “Y-you need to finger her to stimulate the g-spot, duh.”
“Don't duh me, Y/N, I'm learning!”
“Sorry!”
“Okay! Now what do I do when… fingering.”
That makes you frown. You're not really sure what to tell him next. So you look straight ahead and, unintentionally, move your ring and middle finger the way you do when you're touching yourself.
In the silence of the room, you audibly hear Mingi’s breath hitching and that draws you back to reality.
When you look at him, his eyes are solely focused on your fingers.
“I don't really know how to explain this next part.” You sound apologetic, your lips tensing into a straight line.
A bit passes.
And then another one and another one where Mingi looks at you with a weird, foreign expression on his face.
So you open your mouth to apologize to him, but he beats you to it.
“Then show me.”
You swear you never even heard him sound like that before. Or maybe you have, the tone of voice similar to when he just wakes up, low, grouchy, as if his throat might be dry.
It just never affected you this way.
“W-what?” you blink hard, a few times, trying to focus on whatever the hell is going on.
“Show me how you do it… I-if you want to.”
“Mingi!”
“I just— Look, you don't have to,” he says right away “If you don't want to, you can forget I ever asked but I'm so… curious”, he says, getting up from your desk chair and planting his knee into the bed “And I'm also really butthurt over what happened. I want to learn but I don't really have anyone else to ask.”
“What about, uh… Minseo! Yeah, what about her?” you offer quickly, also getting up.
“San's ex?!”
“I don't know any other woman that you also know, Mingi!”
He gulps and breathes heavily, gathering his words, his thoughts, just like he always does and you remember: This is Mingi. Your Mingi. The Mingi you've known for years and care about more than anything.
“I'm asking you because I trust you,” he says, looking you over once again “And because if I fail, you're not… going to make fun of me for it.”
There it is.
You soften at that and he seems to relax at your reaction. His demeanor lets you know he's not just saying that because he wants to see you touch yourself, he's being honest.
So you decide to be honest, as well. In a whisper, because your voice will tremble and give away how strongly you feel about his request.
“I've never done it in front of anyone before.”
“So no one has ever make you—”
“No,” you confirm before he even gets it out and you sigh “I never ask for it and I haven't really… I've only slept with—”
“Hangyeol.” He nods and scrunches his nose in disgust at the memory of your highschool boyfriend. They never really got along and it was a shame, because Han was a great guy, he just wasn't the one for you.
“Mingi,” you walk over to him and he straightens up his spine “This could really… I mean, there's no getting rid of me in this lifetime, buddy,” reminding him makes him smile and you do as well, nervous, your body on high alert “But this could mess us up.” You finish in a whisper.
“I'm not letting that happen.” He says back, eyes scanning your face before zeroing on your eyes “There's no getting rid of me either, love.”
That nickname is going to be the death of you, you're sure. It makes you suck in air you very much need at this moment.
Fuck it.
“I'll… get the towels, then.” You smile a little even though your cheeks are burning and you feel a little dizzy while holding his gaze, but you don't back down.
Before you move, though, he stops you with his hand holding your waist “I know where they are. Stay here.”
You could literally melt right now. And you know it's a short trip to the downstairs hallway closet from your room, so you make sure you strip your duvet before things get messy.
You should go to the bathroom, too, to clean yourself up a bit before Mingi finds out what you find out when you sit on your bed.
You're so wet.
And it's so fucking embarrassing, because you're not supposed to feel this way for him, for this.
Because, if anything, this is clearly just an educational experience.
And if Mingi’s excited look when he re-enters your bedroom tells you otherwise, you're choosing to ignore it for the clearly educational experience’s sake.
“These will do?”
You take the two mismatched towels and place them on the bed right away, not even looking at him.
“Yep.”
You think he nods but you're not sure, you just caught a glimpse of him moving towards your desk while you pretend to fix the towels in the bed to perfection.
“Okay, so… You need to, uh, be comfy and shit. Drink water, you just did that a few minutes ago…” when you turn to him, he's reading his notes like he's actually about to conduct an experiment and you chuckle before shaking your head “The… The foreplay part should be next, right?”
“Right…” you drag out, biting the inside of your cheek before he looks back at you.
“You look really tense, Y/N,” he deadpans, looking down at his notes again “You need to relax so it can happen, right?”
“You're about to see me touch myself and you think I can relax?”
“Oh,” he frowns, immediately and then blinks a few times to refocus, you think “I'm not the one doing it?”
“Uh… Yes? Later? I thought you wanted to see me first, y-you… You asked me to show you…”
You can feel him think, the gears on his brain twisting and you think he's going to backpedal at any second because he's not really saying anything. Then you see it, the moment the image crosses his mind.
And the next second you have him in front of you, towering over your form and then he's not.
Getting on his knees, he tentatively places a hand on your knee and parts your legs so you can make room for him to touch the end of the mattress with his chest and raise his chin just enough to make you think he's asking you to kiss him.
Oh God, you want to kiss him.
His voice is a sweet murmur when he speaks again “Show me how to get you there, love,” he sounds like he's pleading, like he's begging you to instruct him and your breath catches when he moves his hand up your thigh “What do you like?”
Your mouth moves before you can even think “Kiss me.”
You don't even notice you're leaning forward until his breath fans against your chin and he tilts his head even more so that your noses touch.
“How do you like being kissed?”
You breathe out a laugh, a little annoyed by his constant questioning “Figure it out, Mingi.” And then the last thing you see is his smirk before his mouth presses against yours.
It's not what you expect. If anything, you expected him to take the lead. Han used to do so, all the guys you've ever kissed did it as well. You don't really know why his patience surprises you, but it does and if your heart could race even more, it would.
Because he waits for your guidance, waits for you to grab his shirt and jank him closer, waits for you to sigh against him and then returns the gesture when he feels your fingers move upwards and tangle in his dark hair.
His mouth is complying to yours, his tongue is exploring it and wetting your lips in the process and you've never felt this good with anyone before.
That's something you'll need to unpack later, but your brain disconnects when your best friend lets out a noise the second his hands touch your waist under your shirt and you forget, for a split second, that the point of this is to have you on your back pleasing yourself for him to learn.
Because you want nothing more than to hear him make that noise again.
The kisses grow needy and so do you when he trails a path with his wet lips from your chin to your neck and the next thing you know is that your back is against the towels you laid down before and his mouth is kissing the valley of your breasts over the cotton of your shirt.
You look down and it takes a second for him to feel you staring before he looks up at you “Should we take this off?”
Your voice gives away how gone you are when you reply a simple yes and your shirt is on the floor the next instant.
Now, you're sure this is not the first time Mingi has seen you in your underwear. You both have gone swimming before and he has walked into your room a million times while you're getting ready. You're even sure he's seen you walk out from your bathroom in this specific bra before… But he's staring at you like it's the first time he's been able to trace the way your breasts spill a little bit over the fabric of this old bra you decided to wear today, like it's the first time he's allowed himself to enjoy it.
Like it's the first time he's allowing himself to feel any sort of attraction for you.
“Fuck,” you whisper, shallow breath hitting his cheek when he returns his mouth to your jaw “Let me… Come here.”
You scoot up until your head rests against your pillows and he follows, resting his body weight on his side and chasing your mouth when you turn your face to him.
You should speed this up. There's no way you're not going to feel like shit if tomorrow you wake up and remember you're letting yourself enjoy this more than you should.
There’s no reason for you to lose your breath when his fingertips trace softly the skin under your breasts or for your legs to grant him access so quickly when they reach your belly and bypass every other part of your body before going straight in between them.
And he notices it too.
“I don't know why I asked you so many questions before,” he starts, turning his hand so that he back of it and his nails start caressing the inside of your thighs through your sweatpants “I know what you like. I pay attention to you whenever we're talking about sex with the guys.”
You frown, about to remind him that you never speak directly about your own experiences but he continues his ministrations, giving your other thigh attention “I usually watch you closely in case any of it makes you uncomfortable, but I notice your reactions when they speak about something that you like.”
Oh. Heart on your sleeve, your biggest flaw.
“Like that one time Woo was going on and on about marking and you couldn't stop fidgeting on your seat…” his nose traces your jaw softly before his teeth take the skin underneath it and you gasp just enough to prove him right “Or that time Yunho said he hated teasing because he's an impatient little shit” he chuckles, his index finding the spot next to your mound and going down slowly until his knuckle graces the crevice where your leg and your hip connect “and you defended it until we had to stop you guys from yelling each other over it…”
Your breath shakes and your eyes close at the sensation “Mingi…”
“Am I wrong?”
You shake your head no and you can all but hear him smile when he speaks again.
“Of course I'm not.”
You open your eyes and expect him to look at you the way he does when you're unable to defend yourself against his quips, but he's not. His eyes are following his own actions and his bottom lip is pulled by his teeth when he takes the fabric of your sweatpants and pulls it up, enough to give you some friction where you need it the most.
“Can I take this off?”
“Fuck, y-yes.”
Joining your shirt on the ground, you're left only in your underwear while Mingi is fully clothed and it bothers you out of nowhere.
“You're so wet already…” he observes and you blush, puffing some air and covering your eyes with your hand. He just laughs “That's a good thing, it means that I'm doing okay.”
He's doing more than okay. Damn all the experience he has and the way he reads you so well.
But his sweet tone gives you some clarity and you support your weight on your hand to fix your position on the bed.
“Alright, let's… resume the lesson before my parents get home.”
“They probably won't for now. The company dinners last until like… two in the morning, usually, right?”
“That's when they decide to go out for drinks.”
“Your mom always wants to go out for drinks.”
“Let's not talk about my mom right now!” you beg and he laughs again, making you chuckle alongside him and you're glad he's talking all of this -the kissing, the teasing, the sweet-talk and the wet patch on your underwear- so well.
The awkwardness from before dissipated the moment he got on his knees in front of you and all that followed was this lovely tension you're dying to keep between the two of you forever even though you shouldn't.
“Show me, love,” he pleads and you sigh, his mouth finding your cheek for a quick second, encouraging you “And then you can show me how to make you feel good, too.”
You stare at him for a few seconds “Damn, you're good,” he shakes his head and you smile, getting rid of your underwear and pushing the quick moment of embarrassment being bare with him in the room gives you “Remember that this is what works for me, okay?”
He nods and then props himself up so he can see it better.
You take a second before your fingers dive into your wet folds and, when you do, you gasp at the feeling.
You've never been more wet just for kissing and teasing before. What the fuck.
You do what you usually do when you're alone for a while and try to contain yourself from moaning because Mingi's eyes keep moving from your fingers to your face. Then, you remember you should be talking him through it, as well.
“You see how I'm building it up?” you start, chest heaving and he hums as his reply “I'm not trying to make myself come but I'm kinda just… edging myself a little bit.”
“Edging,” he repeats and then hisses when he sees your thumb pressing into your clit just how you like it, making you sigh heavily “I know all about that, that's good.”
“Y-you do?”
“You'll be surprised,” he smiles, proud of himself.
“Okay,” you continue, taking a deep breath “Then you know about prepping, too,” he nods “So, a finger first…” you say, swallowing hard when your middle finger makes its way into your cavity without much effort.
Dragging back and forth for a minute or so, you're incapable of containing yourself any longer. Air leaves your mouth in pants and your eyes close when you drag the pad of your finger upwards, locating your g-spot with ease because you're used to it.
“And then, two fingers.”
“Mhm.”
“Look at the position of my hand. I read that these two fingers work the best because they're longer than the rest, although…” you look at Mingi's hand over your belly. You didn't even notice before this that he was touching you, but he is and his thumb is tracing a pattern that both relaxes you and sends shivers down your spine “I'm sure that it won't be a problem for you, huh?”
He sends a cocky smirk your way and you would've smacked him if you weren't so… preoccupied.
Pressing your precious spot and then dragging back and forward, you stop the movements altogether. It felt too good, way more than good and it's a different sensation of what you're used to.
And it's all because of him.
You look at his side profile, his eager eyes commiting to memory what you're doing to yourself, probably taking mental notes now that his notebook is long forgotten over at your desk and…
He deserves this. He deserves to be the one to have this, just tonight.
You hate to leave what feels like it's about to be your best orgasm in the hands of someone who's just learning, yet alone a man.
But Mingi is not just any man.
“Mingi,” you call and his curious eyes leave your heat a second later “your turn.”
“Did you… Did it happen? I didn't see anythi—”
“No,” you interrupt him, your fingers leaving you and you turn to him, your clean hand finding his face “show me what you learned.”
His mouth parts, but you have a newfound confidence and a glint in your eyes that is new, so nothing comes out.
“Prove that bitch wrong.”
That seems to do it.
His eyes go from being confused to spark with determination and want and electricity runs through you again because he seems so relieved he gets to touch you sooner than expected.
Shyness and nervousness buried six feet under, you both smile to each other before you feel him.
His fingers gathering your wetness, his thumb finding your clit with ease and expertise.
“Wettest pussy I've ever touched.” You can tell he's a little lost in the heat of the moment but it's okay. So are you.
Fuck.
It's been way too long since someone else touched you this way, so you all but melt at the circles he draws on your clit. He paid close attention before, because he's touching you just the way you like it.
“That feels so good…”
“Yeah?” he asks, dark eyes finding yours before a particular stroke forces you to close them. And then he gathers enough slick to insert his ring finger inside and you can't help the moan that slips past your lips.
You lift your hand to cover your mouth, but Mingi clicks his tongue in feign disappointment “I want to hear if I'm making you feel good, love. Don't hold back on me just because this is unconventional.”
The worries die altogether with that.
And now that you have free reign to stop containing yourself, you don't know how to stop.
It's not long before his middle joins his other finger but he doesn't go for it right away. He fucks you slowly, allowing you to get used to the unfamiliar stretch of his way longer, way thicker digits until they slide in and out with little effort.
His pace picks up after what feels like ages and your hand fists his shirt for the second time tonight, nodding and moaning in encouragement.
“Deeper,” you instruct “curl them upwards and go deeper, you'll feel it then.”
He obeys immediately, his chest heaving and his mouth parting in delight when he finds it. The pad of his finger presses down on it tentatively and your grasp on his shirt hardens.
“Is that it?” you nod and he does it again, which earns another moan “What do I do now?”
Before you completely get lost in the feeling, you decide to drop the step by step bullshit aside and give him the full instruction in hopes that he'll remember it all without fucking up: “What works for me is pressing… Fuck, yeah, just like that a-and then…” you take deep breath “Just a little harder… Yeah, then rub it in a circular motion while maintaining that same pressure… Fuck, Mingi!”
He's a little too good at following instructions, because he touches you like he's been doing this forever and soon you feel the familiar swell, the usual buildup of it all and he's taking you over the age like it's nothing.
You forget how to speak, you forget how to tell him what he needs to do next and so, when you finally explode, you take his wrist and place his two fingers over your clit.
When you move them side by side, he lets out a fascinated giggle but knows exactly what to do.
A second later, your release is coating your thighs and the towels underneath you and you don't register anything else because your ears are ringing.
Did you lose consciousness for a second? It feels like you did.
That was the best fucking orgasm you've ever felt in your entire life.
And when you come back down, you only register the sound of your breathing and plump lips kissing your face, his fingers stopping their pace once he realizes you're done with it.
Opening your eyes, you stare at your popcorn ceiling for a second. Then, you look at Mingi who's already staring at you with a what the fuck just happened expression.
It makes you laugh. Softly at the beginning, post-orgasm bliss takes over but then Mingi laughs too and your whole chest swells with inexplicable pride.
You don't think twice before kissing him again. When you realize you did it, you pull back and blink at him like he didn't make you see stars three seconds ago.
“That was…” his eyes do the thing he usually does. You never notice it until now, but he scans your face so frequently you've grown used to it, but now… It feels different. His teeth nip his bottom lip and he shakes his head before speaking “Come here, love.”
And then he's kissing you again, slow, intimate, beyond the stupid lesson you just taught him.
But you don't mind it one bit.
You sit up, getting on your knees on the bed and basically forcing him to do the same. Ignoring the gross sensation of the wet towel underneath you, you pull him further into you until his chest presses against yours, until his hands roam your body and settle on your waist, securing the embrace.
This time, when you pull away, there's this whole unspoken new thing between you.
“That was…?” you press, smiling a bit, pulling both you and him back to reality.
Right now, with you half naked and his hard-on pressing on your belly, it's not the time to discuss your feelings.
“Possibly the coolest thing I've seen,” he starts, giggling when you roll your eyes “and the hottest thing I've seen, too,” you shrug, dismissing his stare because it's making you feel hot all over your body, again “and I'm really, really grateful you said yes, love.”
The soft tone he uses to say the last bit relaxes you and you nod, deciding it's not the time to tell him you never even came like that on your own.
Instead, you decide to grasp this intimate moment and extend it as much as you can. You can see Mingi is not expecting it when you reach his sweatpants and let your shaky thumb trace the outline of his cock.
Closing his eyes, he lets out a pleased sigh before he grabs you by the back of your neck and rests his forehead against yours.
“This is supposed to be purely educational, Y/N”
“Is that what you want it to be?” you softly ask, pulling your hand away but then his hips buck and chase after your touch, making you smile despite the emotions swelling in your chest “Let me help you… Please…”
“Fuck, don't beg me, love.”
“Don't make me beg, then.”
What the fuck are you even doing?
“Y/N, I—” he stops suddenly and you're too lost in the moment to notice why.
But then the sound of keys and a door closing downstairs scares the fuck out of you and you push Mingi away without thinking it through.
He lands with a thud on your bedroom floor, next to your discarded clothes.
“What the fuck, Y/N?” he whispers-shouts, both shocked and offended, but you're getting off your bed and picking up your clothes and the soaked towels so you don't really care about his feelings right now.
“Bathroom. Now.”
You're so blessed for having your bedroom right next to the upstairs bathroom. And so blessed that it is your bathroom and you don't have to share it. You’ll get on your knees and thank your gods afterwards, but right now you can only think one thing.
Don't get caught.
Lord knows you'll never hear the end of it if Mingi walks out of here with a hard-on. Your dad will kill him, your mom will cheer because she loves the idea of you and Mingi together and you'll probably pack your bags and move away if it happens.
When you lock the door behind you and make a quick show of putting your underwear and pants back on, you hear Mingi chuckle.
“We can always tell them we're having a sleepover, Y/N, you didn't have to karate kick me off the damn bed!”
“Hush!” But he just keeps giggling at your very obvious flustered state.
You're about to rip him a new one when he takes two strides, backs you against the bathroom sink, and catches your lips in a quick, sweet kiss and all your worries dissolve just like that.
“Guess they didn't go for drinks after all..”
“You think?” cocking your head to the side, the smile on your lips can't be fought at this point.
He returns it and leans in for another kiss, longer this time and you sigh against his mouth before pulling away because you really, really shouldn't be doing this right now.
You hear your mother calling your name and then footsteps up the stairs. A murmured she must be sleeping and a hum from your father before they pass the bathroom door. You truly only relax when you hear their door closing at the end of the hallway.
“Okay, we're safe now.”
“When were we ever not safe?”
“When I was half naked on my bed, Mingi!”
He shakes his head with a smile and takes a step back.
You clear your throat.
“I really did want to help you out but—”
“Raincheck?” he asks and at your hesitation to say yes, he continues “If you want to. If you don't, it's okay. We… We'll figure it out, okay?”
“Okay.”
He smiles again “Good, uh…”
Mingi seems unsure on what to do next. Feeling the same, you decide the best thing to do is to get him out of here.
Opening the bathroom door, you carefully peek into the hallway, taking his hand in yours and beckoning him to follow you down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible.
“Shit, your shoes…” you whisper.
“I don't think they noticed if they didn't barge into the bedroom to check on us like they usually do, love.” He returns, in the same tone.
That does nothing to ease your mind, but he makes sure to put them on quickly and then grabs your shoulders, shaking you in a teasing manner.
“Quit worrying, Y/N. I can feel you thinking.”
Of course he does. There's no one, in this world, that knows you better than him.
It makes your heart flutter and it shouldn't. But you're getting on your tippy toes and stealing a parting kiss before you think about it too much.
It's irresponsible for you to do so, but Mingi grabs your waist and extends the duration of the kiss and suddenly you don't give a fuck about your parents or anyone else finding out about this… shift in your dynamic.
“See you tomorrow?” he asks against your lips and you nod.
“See you tomorrow.”
And with that, he leaves.
You lock the door and practically run to your room after.
What the fuck have you done?
If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and since it’s an open ending (sort of), let me know if you want a second part!
© jensthwa, 2024.
#ateez#ateez x reader#song mingi#song mingi x reader#mingi#mingi x reader#mingi smut#ateez smut#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#ateez hard hours#mingi hard hours#mingi hard thoughts#first post!!!#pls tell me if u like it or if u dont or anything pls my askbox is open#<333#fic; s&t
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Sexed Regime, or: You Probably Have the Wrong Critiques of "TME/TMA" Terminology
Let's begin by looking at an interesting dichotomy.
There's an oddly pervasive idea in queer spaces that a truly progressive trans or post-gender politic underscores the irrelevance of sex. In contrast to patriarchal society's utter fixation on "natal sex", queer existence must be transcendent, a space in which one's bodily configuration is understood to be entirely under one's purview, where presentation is simply something we inhabit and implies nothing about our sexualities or embodiments. It is an idea of emancipation rooted in agnosticism, an anti-patriarchal revolution spurred by the lack of belief in our cissexist society's deranged emphasis on knowing what's in our pants at all times.
It's a very appealing idea, I'll admit.
Here's the thing, though.
The naturalization of sex is the foundation of patriarchy, as well as the basis of the heterosexual regime it instantiates. Humanity is cleft in twain, with one sex marked for reproductive-sexual exploitation by the other. Like most other regimes, this one is also powered by belief--belief in the superiority of the 'male sex', the unfitness of the 'female sex', and most of all: absolute belief that sex is immutable, exhaustively binary, and non-overlapping.
What this also means, ultimately, is that those of us who dare to desert the sex we were conscripted into face different pressures and violence. It is obvious that many trans people are also subject to reproductive injustice, as cis women are, and consequently the transphobia they face is very acutely a regendering impulse, a patriarchal desire to drag them back to the confines of womanhood to fulfill their patriarchal purpose. There is, understandably, a certain amount of solidarity between cis women and trans people who have suffered these aspects of the heterosexual regime.
This is in fact the understanding that gives rise to even liberal-progressive uses of 'male socialization' directed at transfems. Trans women are understood to have been spared certain excesses of misogynistic violence and therefore expected to see and approach the world differently. It is simply a neutral observation, of course, no judgment behind it ... well, until it comes time to deny trans women epistemic authority over experiences of misogyny or womanhood, even their own. After all, can transfems really be said to have a full understanding of patriarchy? They weren't 'raised AFAB'!
Oftentimes, this becomes a double bind of proving that transfems did experience trauma, feminization, and abuse even pretransition, often as children, which is then usually dismissed as "trauma dumping" or "equating womanhood to being abused"--despite the minimization of our experiences being predicated on our "lesser" understanding of the trauma of being "misogyny-affected". So let's not retread that.
Instead, I'll point out that people assume a symmetry, a complementarian equivalence, almost, between the experiences of trans people. What I would like to stress is that there is no such thing as a coherent "AMAB" class or a shared "AMAB solidarity" based on shared experiences of oppression, because I have some shocking news that readers may wish to sit down for:
Trans women are oppressed by cis men.
Cis men are overwhelmingly the ones who rape us, beat us, kill us, and seek to abuse us. When we were children, we were bullied and violated for our perceived effeminacy, largely by the cis boys we were most proximate to. Most of us have been around cis men when they've voiced their most dehumanizing, misogynistic thoughts about women, and have been punished for not participating in these rituals of misogynistic rhetoric, too. The trauma of our upbringing involves being locked into spaces with those who sniffed out our differences, our non-conformance, and routinely punished us for being deviant. When we grow up, they are the ones who largely continue to prey on us.
The chief characteristic of transmisogyny is the presumed artificiality of trans womanhood, the idea that we are mimetics, and our womanhood is a farce, a costume whose only purpose is sexual. This dovetails with our disposability--our inability to be women who can bear children, further patrilineality, and secure what minuscule respectability is afforded to the domestically-confined women who continue the male line. As such, our hyperfetishization marks us for extreme violence, as sexual objects that can be freely used and discarded, guilt-free, because after all ... We asked for it.
Why would we "choose" womanhood if we did not want this?
Which, ultimately, brings me to my point: Sex is a social regime of difference imposed on us, but it is, unfortunately, a regime still in existence. My sex is the basis upon which my womanhood is denied and my disposability justified, because the transfeminized are degendered--we are not, as a rule, provided a path "back" to manhood. Our "effeminacy" ensures that we are 'failed' men, because gender is ultimately hierarchal. Losing status, being unmanned, is frankly trivial, and is what underlies the oppression of queer men--trans men included. Most of us are ultimately subject to some kind of degendering, largely due to how a patriarchal society regards those who defy the reproductive mandate, but transmisogyny is a specific manifestation of degendering that trans women experience.
"TME/TMA" may well be an imperfect categorization--all undertakings in boundary formation are imprecise, though not always violent, given that we need descriptive terms to communicate--but the real issue with it is that it's an overly-ponderous and ultimately clunky terminology for the frank reality that the binary sex imposed on us shapes the contours of the violence we experience. I have never experienced the specific kind of misogyny that sees me as nothing but a broodmare, because I'm a filthy troon, that dehumanized abject thing whose only purpose is absorbing (sexual) violence. Yet the acknowledgment that transfems experience forms of violence that others do not--or sometimes, even the acknowledgment that transfems face violent misogyny at all--is much less forthcoming.
Our struggles are indelibly connected, of course, stemming from the same source and promulgated by the same regime that seeks to define us as nothing more than male property. The shape of each is distinct, however, and because people frequently misunderstand the shape of mine, the idea that my struggles are even connected to theirs, that I experience misogynistic violence homoousian with that which they experience, is frequently dismissed, or considered outright offensive.
This is why I talk and write about transmisogyny, and why more people need to become more familiar with how the naturalization of sex and the regime of heterosexuality under patriarchy necessitates our common struggle.
And unfortunately, in order to properly express these ideas, we do need to talk about the regime of sex.
#transfeminism#gender is a regime#materialist feminism#lesbian feminism#sex is a social construct#social constructionism#feminism#transmisogyny#transphobia#degendering#regendering#anti transmasculinity
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (III)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a1ea26b28f64fce040bd1fb2370a60e0/f455ffb5f671e5f9-c1/s540x810/0e1709299396f32bb34311b78c7c2b291bb05707.jpg)
A whole lot of confusion as to whether Reader and her yakuza friend are actually dating. After much back and forth and a coworker being threatened, the awaited confession might finally take place.
Bonus part: Kazuya tells Reader about his and Daitou's past and how they ended up working for the yakuza.
Content: female reader, obsessive behavior, violence
Tags: @vinivave @ansy-tea @evvie8 @angelicbunnee @jingerbreadoutofstock @azukoya @randomlyblues @alien-consummation @neverlandlostchild @mimiemie @toji-whore @cloudie-skay @lilkittenmitten
[Part 2] | [Part 4] | [Yakuza Masterlist]
The items are scanned and Kazuya finishes paying. He looks back, searching for Daitou, and finds him wandering among the narrow aisles of magazines and manga. They'd stopped by the konbini at the train station after their job.
"Here's your bentou." The blonde man extends a small box, eyeing his friend suspiciously. "Say, do you have an upset stomach or something? You're uglier than usual."
Daitou thanks him with a nod, but doesn't take the neatly packaged food. He's idly playing with the cover of a romance volume, bending and straightening its corner.
"Nah, nothing like that. Just, ya know, feels a bit like (Y/N)'s been avoiding me. She hurries straight home after work and barely waves hi. I thought we'd do more things together now that we're dating."
Kazuya nearly spits out the soda he opened while listening to Daitou's troubles. He snorts and quickly wipes his mouth.
"Wait, are you serious? You actually asked her out? And she said yes??"
Daitou thinks back to the time he gifted you your stalker's finger and teeth, the way you defended him, and the way you quietly walked home and almost held hands. That pretty much made it official, didn't it? So he confidently nods to his utterly baffled partner in crime.
"You little rascal, you! Who would've thought you had it in you?!" He cheerfully slaps Daitou's back and wraps his arm around his neck. The dark haired man blushes and scratches his cheek awkwardly. "You should've told me earlier!"
True. Between the two of them, Kazuya has always been extremely charismatic and popular with women. His perfectly combed blonde hair, his sparkling designer suits, his luxuriously elegant cologne. The handsome features and assertive smile. More than once he'd been approached by modeling agencies, and he likes to joke his lust for violence stopped him from living the glamorous life. In comparison, Daitou has the opposite effect on people. The room will empty if he steps inside. He's unnervingly tall, with bulging muscles, has multiple scars crossing his face, and his prosthetic eye always ends up twisted in the strangest position, causing him to look like he's only missing the straight jacket. Everyone is shocked upon hearing about their friendship.
So it makes sense that Kazuya would have the required experience to offer him decent advice when it comes to (Y/N).
"Listen here, if there's one thing you should know, it's that women like a guy that fights for them. You gotta show them you care. What can you offer that other guys can't?"
The tall man listens intently, with a concentrated frown as if taking mental notes. He's not entirely sure who he should fight in this ordeal, but he doesn't want to embarrass himself in front of Kazuya, so he nods vehemently to his words.
"That's the short preview. If you have any more questions, just come over later. I'm piss tired, so I'll go home and have the nap of a lifetime." He yawns deeply to showcase his exhaustion and slowly walks away, throwing his hand in a lazy wave.
The yakuza remains standing, still ruminating over the words of wisdom generously offered by the expert himself. Is he to randomly beat up people on the street as you watch? Won't Boss be angry if he attacks civilians? He gasps in realization. Perhaps this is what Kazuya meant. What kind of man is he if he can't even go against his Boss? So what if Boss won't like it? He has to prove himself to you.
With newfound determination, he clenches his fists and gazes out of the window.
That's when he notices you. You seem to be returning from work. Even more - and this causes his jaw to tighten in anger - some unknown man is walking next to you, cheerfully chitchatting and gesturing.
That settles it.
"You really didn't have to walk me home." You laugh clumsily to the man at your side.
A new coworker recently joined your company, and you've been asked to show him the ropes. You gradually discovered you had quite a lot in common, throughout your ample opportunities to gossip and talk leisurely. Your schedule isn't as packed nowadays, given you'll show up earlier and leave later.
Normally you'd prefer to be in your warm bed as soon as possible, but you've been feeling rather tense since the incident with Daitou. During his heated exchange with Kazuya, you've heard mentions of 'being liked by women' and 'having a crush on someone'. You thought it involved you and you nervously awaited further explanations from Daitou himself, but on the way back he was completely silent. You didn't have the courage to bring it up, so you assumed there must've been a misunderstanding somewhere along the way.
Which, after all, would make plenty of sense. What business would a yakuza have with you? He's already shown much more courtesy than it was required of him. Hoping he'd also confess his feelings on top of everything was downright ridiculous and you're embarrassed to admit you'd harbored such cheesy fantasies to begin with.
"Don't sweat it. You might not know", the coworker warns with lowered voice, "but this area is reeking of gangsters. I'm surprised you've been fine so far, but you should be more careful."
"O-oh...I see..." You glance at him and hold back a smirk. You doubt he could protect you from Daitou or Kazuya, but you appreciate his chivalry nonetheless.
There's an uncomfortable pause as you stand in your doorframe, having reached the intended destination. The man hasn't left yet, waiting expectantly. He lowers his head towards yours and you swiftly slam the door, muttering something about an emergency.
"Cute." He thinks to himself as he chuckles and steps away.
There's always a next time.
The coworker heads towards the train station in a relaxed strut. At the first intersection, however, he feels his clothes being pulled and he finds himself abruptly shoved in an empty room by an unknown assailant.
Daitou easily lifts him up by his collar and nonchalantly throws him in a chair. It seems to be a small storage unit, possibly belonging to one of the shops.
"What's your business with (Y/N)?" He barks.
"Huh? I should be the one asking-" The man pauses for a second, going over his conversations with you. "Could it be that you're the stalker she mentioned?"
Naturally, you had left out the part where your stalker was carefully packaged and dumped in a place unknown. To your coworker, he was very much still alive and a potential threat.
The yakuza is taken aback.
"I'm her boyfriend!" He retorts angrily.
"Bullshit. She doesn't have a boyfriend."
Another slap to the face. Daitou's cheeks are becoming increasingly red and he runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to calm down. Why, this son of a...
He marches to one of the metal shelves behind, grabbing his tool belt. Simultaneously, the door opens and Kazuya sheepishly peeks his head in. His blonde locks are ruffled and one can tell he's freshly woken up.
"Yo, I just realized I might've been too metaphorical with you back at the store so I've been texting you, but you didn't-...Wait, why is there a guy handcuffed to the chair?"
He crosses his arms, with a habitual scolding glare towards his friend.
"I just caught this cockroach flirting with (Y/N)! Went all the way to her place!" Daitou whines, his face full of indignation.
"Of course you know where she lives, you fucking stalker." The coworker exclaims bitterly.
"Watch your mouth buddy, he ain't no stalker!" Kazuya straightens his back and approaches the mysterious man. "If he's right, and you've been messing with his woman...We ain't letting that go. Today you learn why no one fucks with the yakuza."
The two men exchange a knowing look.
You drop yourself on the sofa and groan. Tomorrow will certainly be strange. Was the coworker trying to kiss you just now? You'll have to think of a polite way to turn him down next shift. Is it because you're not interested, or because you're still hoping to have a chance with Daitou? You slap your cheeks vigorously, trying to pull yourself out of such thoughts.
You suddenly notice the foreign wallet sticking out of your bag. Your coworker had dropped it earlier today while running for the train, and you offered to throw it in your bag to save time. Except you forgot to return it.
You check your phone. It hasn't been that long, so maybe you can still reach him if you hurry. Without much contemplation, you pluck the wallet and sprint out.
As you dash past the buildings, you have the idea of calling the man and asking him to wait instead. Why run like a madman? You stop and rest a hand against the wall, trying to catch your breath. Ugh, you've been so scattered today. This should've been the obvious choice, instead you sprang out. Silly.
From around the corner you can make out the familiar wails you've learned to ignore. Whoever the yakuza tortures is not your problem. You are about to scurry away, yet something about these whimpers feels odd. No...Could it be?
You tiptoe down the vacant alleyway and try to catch a glimpse inside through the small, dirty window. As a matter of fact, it is your beloved coworker. Kazuya is holding his arm against a table, with the fingers forcefully fanned out, and Daitou has a blade secured over the pinky finger.
You elbow yourself against the door in a theatrical entry.
"What the hell are you guys doing?! That's my coworker!" You yell.
Daitou freezes, and Kazuya instantly releases his grasp. They turn to you, shocked.
"Stay out of it, (Y/N), this is to be settled among men. This bastard insulted your boyfriend, we can't let it slide!" Kazuya regains his composure and defends his cause fervently, pointing to the man that's now sobbing and crying uncontrollably.
"Boyfriend?" You question, mouth agape.
The blonde man stares at you.
"You're...You're dating, aren't you?"
"Since when?" You demand, confused and upset.
Both you and Kazuya turn to Daitou for answers.
"I'm going to ask you one more time. Did you actually ask her out, Daitou? Did you say it out loud?" Kazuya's voice breaks in exasperation.
"W-well, I didn't...I didn't say it, but I thought..." the man's eyes dart between you and his friend. He gulps. "W-we almost held hands, didn't we?"
Overwhelmed with anger, the blonde stomps over to the shelves and kicks one to make his point, loudly bemoaning his friend's lack of social awareness. He can't believe he went along with his nonsense. Him, of all people! He should've anticipated it.
As the coworker weeps and Kazuya continues his foul monologue, you can't help the blush that's now burning across your face. You fidget anxiously next to the tattooed man.
"Y-you thought we were dating?"
"Sorry for not making it clear." Daitou is once again twiddling with his prosthetic eye, dejected. "Is it too late to ask you out now? Because I do like you a lot..."
"Since you put it so nicely...I can't really say no~" Your ears are bright red and you're twirling your hair. Is it truly happening? Are you dreaming? Everything feels snug and fuzzy and the butterflies are swarming your stomach.
You don't have time to enjoy your romantic encounter, as Kazuya is now behind you, clearing his throat.
"Alright, you lovebirds, what about this one here, then?"
You suddenly remember your coworker and an icy cold flashes through your body.
"Oh God, how will I explain this at work? I'll get fired!" You bite your nails in terror. You can already visualize the slip of unemployment. The long lines at the Job Center, you and the homeless. Panic begins to build up.
Until Daitou's large hands rest on your shoulders. He's unexpectedly warm.
"Don't worry about it, (Y/N). I'll have a word with Boss, and we can get you a job here. This way we can spend more time together", he suggests with childish enthusiasm.
You glance up at him, moved by his soothing words.
"I wouldn't want to bother you like that."
"Hey, it's my fault you ended up in this situation. You can leave everything to me." He reassures you proudly.
"That didn't answer my damn question." Kazuya points out, annoyed.
"Can't we just kill him or something? He did call me a stalker, and I'm still upset about that..."
Daitou stretches and sighs in boredom, pondering the options. Once he's decided on the outcome, he shoos you away lovingly. You don't need to see this part.
Bonus: Daitou's backstory
"Oh, right, how did it go with your tickets?"
Kazuya is walking beside you, hands in pockets. Every now and then he removes the cigarette from his mouth to tap away the piling ash.
"Well, I still have both kidneys, but I won't be swimming in cash for the next months at least." You respond, slouching your shoulders dramatically for the effect.
"Flying abroad is always expensive. Unless, I don't know, you book years in advance."
"Yeah. I should've looked earlier, but I wasn't sure about my work schedule. At least I get to see my family and friends for Christmas."
After a few more steps in silence, you glance up at the blonde man. He notices your curious stare and raises his eyebrows, as if encouraging you to speak up.
"What about you? Will you be going home for the holidays?"
He grins at your question and proudly places a hand on his chest.
"This is my home, actually! I was born and raised in this very neighborhood."
"Really? Was it not a yakuza quarter before?" Your eyes widen at his statement.
"It was." Kazuya blows some of his smoke in your direction and you cough lightly. "You know the soapland further down the street?"
You nod.
"Mom used to work there. One of the clients got her pregnant and she found out too late. She had a room upstairs, and I just kind of tagged along. The other girls looked after me, too."
You recall one instance when Kazuya received a phone call about some drunkard causing a ruckus at the brothel, and he shot up without a word, rushed out and returned with bloodied knuckles. At the time, you'd assumed he's a client himself and maybe got attached to one of the girls. Now it makes sense. You're a little embarrassed of your obvious prejudice. If he grew up there, it must be his way of showing gratitude to the workers who loved him despite the circumstances.
"Oh, what about Daitou, then? Is he from the area, too?"
The man frowns and purses his lips thoughtfully. After a moment, his features soften up again and he sighs.
"I suppose you're his girlfriend, after all. It's also not a secret per se..."
Your ears perk up at the strange reaction to your inquiry.
"I mean, it's just a bit of a grim topic. No one knows for sure. Boss found him on the streets years ago, when he was a wee kid."
He presses his thumb and index finger together, emphasizing the small size to you.
"I don't know all the details, just what the Seniors told me - I was a kid myself back then - but it was pretty bad. Had no shoes on, scratches and cuts all over. His left eye was swollen and terribly infected, that's how he lost it, actually. Boss felt sorry for him, so he took him in.
They did try to ask him for parents or relatives, but apparently he wouldn't speak at all. Took him like a year to finally open his mouth. Even now, if you ask him anything about his past, he just pretends he didn't hear you. So maybe don't bring it up to him."
You shake your head along, urging him to continue with more details. Kazuya seems to warm up to the memories and slows down, indulging in the recollection.
"Anyways, one day Boss' car is followed and he gets shot in the shoulder. Some snot-nosed trainees from the rival gang. They hadn't even gotten their pins yet, wanted to impress their older brothers I guess.
Daitou heard about it and went after them. One of our Seniors - he's a tough guy alright, been with the Family for decades - he told me he was sweating like mad when they found him. Daitou was just a teen at the time, but he butchered those guys up so bad they couldn't tell them apart anymore. Even bit a few bullets, and still kept going, like a crazed animal. The adults were freaking out. They didn't expect him to be this strong.
I suspect they were pretty afraid of him, you know? They were probably thinking, "if one day he has it out for us, we're done for!", so they told Boss they should kick him out. But at this point Daitou was like his own son, so he laughed and said, "What's the matter with ya, he does your dirty work and you wanna get rid of him?! If the boy wants to fight, let him!", and he arranged for Daitou to join the Family officially. I was recruited around the same time.
We didn't get along at first, I mean, they warned me to stay away because he's crazy and also Boss' favorite. He didn't hang out with anyone. He had his own jobs, the mercenary stuff no one else wanted to deal with.
You might not believe it, but back then I was an angry, stubborn asshole. It didn't sit well with me that this guy was out there, doing his own thing. I had a reputation myself, before I dropped out of high school I was pretty much undefeated. I thought I'd see it with my own eyes, this all-powerful jackass even the Seniors avoided."
You smile faintly, trying to imagine a young Kazuya without the expensive, flashy suit and polished appearance.
"So one evening I just walked up to him and told him to join me outside. Didn't even give him a speech, just rammed my fist into his face. This was my signature move, you know, I can't even count how many guys I knocked out with this punch. Straight into the jaw, sends your brain spinning. Whew, and this guy? He didn't even flinch! Just stood there and looked at me like I was dumb. I was pissed off at this point, you can imagine, it felt like he was mocking me. So I yelled we ain't done until one of us gives up.
He understood what I wanted and finally fought me earnestly. Hell, he even knocked some of my teeth out. This one here's an implant. Mad expensive. Anyhow, as much as it hurt my pride, I'd lost fair and square. So I got up, wiped the blood, and asked him to come grab a drink with me. My treat.
You should've seen his face, (Y/N). I think it was the first time I've witnessed him smile. 'Really? Can I? Are you sure?' He was like a stray dog after you've thrown him some leftovers. Kept that dumb grin the whole night. You could've given him a clown hat and people would've paid to see the circus.
That's when I realized this poor bastard probably just wanted a friend. The next day I went to pick him up again and he was beaming like a princess. Heh. Afterwards he started following me around and eventually Boss called me in. I thought I got into trouble or something, even brought a bunch of gauze pads in case I needed to slice off my finger. Turns out he'd heard of us becoming pals, and he asked me to maybe attend Daitou every now and then because he always leaves a mess and everyone's too scared to deal with him. We've been teamed together ever since."
You realize you've been standing in the same spot ever since Kazuya begun talking, completely entranced by his story. He chuckles upon seeing your expression and ruffles your hair.
"Man, I sure rambled a lot. Sorry about that. In any case, that was my piece about Daitou. I'm sure you already know this, but he's not a bad guy. Just has a twisted sense of loyalty. Once he finds someone to serve, he doesn't see anything else.
Hell, I'm his closest friend and I'm convinced he wouldn't hesitate to kill me if it was for Boss."
Upon further consideration, he smiles and winks at you.
"Or for you. Especially you."
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#female reader#yandere yakuza#yakuza x reader#yandere imagine#yandere imagines#yandere oc#yandere original character#yandere mafia#mafia x reader#original work#oc x reader#male yandere x reader#x reader#yandere scenarios
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
••••••AFTER-CARE?•••••••
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/19a83a4b24986d6ddfb8dfbc1a3935b2/c191e595af6fec05-ed/s540x810/7e46dd830dc4b51b5e1ebc6cbb6b789016e2e797.jpg)
18+, mentions of rough sex, hook up/one night stand, sub drop, female reader. Fluff & cuddles, sweet ending ^.^
•
You’d heard stories from your girlfriends and some women from work about after care. The time to mentally settle down and do other soft things after sex, particularly rough sex. You have experience, being in a few different relationships and some one night stands but you never experienced the joy of after care
So when the time came that you and your hook up finished, you were already slipping your clothes back on. Getting ready to head back home now that things are done. Despite this heavy feeling weighing over your head.
“Where you going princess?” He asked, your ears perked as you looked at him over your shoulder. “Home, we’re done here aren’t we?” You replied softly, your tone even despite the nagging feeling behind it
“Nah, come lay down with me.” He said, his eyes scanning over your face, wondering if you had something important to attend too. When he noticed your hesitation, he stretched out an arm, his muscles protruding as he wraps his hand around your waist, pulling you against his side.
Once he got you comfortable, your face nuzzled against neck, something overcame you and you couldn’t hold back. Tears started falling from your eyes, your hand gripping a small fistful of his shirt.
“Did I hurt you?” He asks, his usual husky tone laced with concern as he took in how vulnerable you are. You shook your head in reply, trying to slow your breathing down enough to answer him.
“Ah, I see” he spoke gently, a large calloused hand pushing strands of hair out of your face. “You’ve never experienced this have you?” His voice is almost like a purr as he watches you reply with a no. He shifts his body once again, him laying flat on his back with you on top of him. Your face resting against his broad chest, his thick arms wrapping around your small frame. Holding you tightly against him
“Don’t worry doll, I’ve got you.” He murmurs. You feel his lips graze the top of your head as he presses a kiss against your hair.
“You’ll never feel that way again. Not ‘s long as I’ve got you”
•
TOJI, soft SUKUNA, NANAMI, Zetsu, Kisame, HIDAN, KAKUZU, OBITO, SATORU, SUGURU, Pain, orochimaru, Kenpachi, Renji
#akatsuki#akatsuki members#orochimaru#orochimaru stories#hidan headcanon#zetsu x reader#kakuzu headcanons#orochimaru story#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru smut#suguru geto fluff#geto suguru smut#obito uchiha fluff#obito smut#nanami kento smut#nanami fluff#sukuna smut#sukuna fluff#toji smut#toji fluff#kenpachi zaraki#kenpachi x reader#kenpachi smut#renji#renji fluff
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
daryl vanilla sex 🫣
Sex Deck
Summary: You’re having a dinner with one of your closest friends, and you just bought a deck of cards from Princess which is to play a friendly game. You just didn’t know the deck wasn’t friendly at all.
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female! Reader
Warnings: NSFW, sex, talks about sex, a sex deck, smut, virgin reader, virginity loss, age gap (but reader is probably around her late 20s/ early 30s), p in v, fingering, oral (female receiving), creampie, unprotected sex (you know better than this kids), bad written smut, etc. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, 18+.
Word Count: 5,4 k
A/N: this was a request for Vanilla sex with Daryl and as I had never written anything virgin reader related, I thought it was a good time to try it. This is not proofread, I have been writing it for months already. Started in Colombia and finished writing in Brazil. My summary sucks. I hope this goes with the expectations of the person who requested and all of you can enjoy it.
You had invited Daryl to your house that night, you’d make burgers and you’d drink beer. You had found a card game in a store in the Commonwealth, you were told to play with friends at parties. So you thought, why not? When the outbreak happened you were very young and didn’t have the opportunity to party like other people.
You stayed for some years with a group, but your life really changed when you found Alexandria. You were alone, you had just lost your family and most people thought you were crazy when you talked about a weird herd of Walkers that seemed to be intelligent, until it started happening to all of them.
You made friends, between them Daryl Dixon and now that you were in the comfort of Commonwealth you weren’t changing that. When the bell of your small apartment rang, you knew it was him. When you opened the door and he saw you he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “A dress? Never saw ya wearing a dress” he observed, you were always wearing jeans and boots.
“Well, now that we’re relatively safe I can wear a dress and be comfortable at home. You should try.” You said.
“Wearing a dress? Nah, thank you. It’s not ma style.” He joked while entering the apartment.
“Being comfortable asshole…” you answered closing the door behind you and heading back ti the kitchen where you were finishing the preparatives for the burgers.
“I thought ya were joking about the burgers.” He observed leaning on the counter.
“I’d never joke about it, I’m really trying to do my best with what we have. It will be nice of it tastes like in the old days.” You finished chopping some vegetables while the burgers finished grilling. “I really liked those kind of food.”
“I wasn’t one for it… to be honest didn’t have the opportunity to eat it many times.” Daryl confessed, a little embarrassed, sometimes he forgot how different his experiences could be from other people’s, especially you, you were younger than him and it bothered him in more ways than he would like to admit.
“It’s ok. Nothing wrong with that. I hope you enjoy mine, well… I hope I also enjoy it, we have more access to things here but it’s still limited.” You finished setting the burgers with vegetables and the bread. “I think it’s ready.”
You ate The hamburger contently, it was delicious even with the limited ingredients you had. Daryl devoured it, for him it was the best burger he had ever ate in his life and he was kinda old so it had to mean something
When you both finished eating you sat on your sofa, beers in hand and you took the pile of cards you had bought earlier. “Look, I got this cards with some questions and challenges for friends to play.” You said excitedly. “It’s gonna be nice, I didn’t have the opportunity to play it before the world ended.”
“Oh yeah? I never hear about it, not popular around my time I guess.” He observed.
You took the cards from your bag, you hadn’t really looked at them before and they looked beautiful, a little aged but the red hearts on the back of the cards were really pretty.
“How’s that played?” He asked observing the cards, he had a weird feeling about it.
“I don’t know, there was no instructions and I never played it. Let’s just take a card at a time, we read it and we both answer, maybe the challenge we tell the other to do?” You had no idea what to do, your time to be a “kid” and mess around had stayed on the past and you couldn’t live it.
“Okay.” He agreed, you put the cards between you too.
“Since, I’m a nice person, you can take the first one.” You said before taking a sip from your beer, damn was this expired or was it just bad?
He didn’t believe he was really playing a silly game with you. If it was some years ago, he would have rolled his eyes at you, said some shit and telling you to forget it. But he couldn’t it was you, the one that caught his eyes immediately when he returned to Alexandria during the period he was away and had that gentle smile for him. The one that brought a smile to the corner of his mouth while playing with little Judith. The one that prepared delicious different food and shared with him. The one that started to visit him by the river to take supplies, kind words and silly toys for his dog.
“Nice person…” he snorted, he knew you were afraid of what could be the first card and let him do the job. He extended his hand and took the first card. He furrowed his browns when he read the question.
“What’s it?” You asked curiously.
He wasn’t really sure how this kind of question was in a deck of a game for friends, but times were changing so he decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. “Ugh… how was yer first time?”
As soon as the question left his lips he instantly blushed and you almost choked on your beer. “What?”
“That’s the question.” He passed you the card so you could read. “Well, maybe this is something friends should talk openly… I dunno.”
“Er… maybe… you should start then. You took the card.” You threw the bomb right back at him.
He cleared his throat, it was difficult to talk about the theme even with Carol that was his old friend, talking it with you felt like sin. “It was weird, I was young the girl was older than me… I dunno.” He felt just like a teenage boy at that moment, when he was far from being one. “Yer turn.”
“Hmm…” what could you possibly say, he had had a bad experience but it was better than… “I… I can’t answer that.”
“Come on, I answered it.” He told you nudging your leg with his.
“I… it’s not that I don’t want to answer it. I really can’t. I never did it.” You finally answered the question, now the terrible beer looking very interesting.
He cleared his throat. He was half shoked and half embarassed. It was impressive a lady your age that had never experienced the delights of life, but he also could feel how it was embarassing for you having to tell that to a man. “Ok, let’s take another card.”
He reached for the deck and completely ignored it was your time. His eyes popped when he saw the next card, it was a challenge. “Why?” He asked instead.
‘The next question can’t be why’, you thought. That was weird. “That can’t be the next question Daryl. You’re kidding me.”
“I’m not, it’s the next question.” He lied and it was clear it was a lie, but you answered, it was him after all.
“I was young when the world ended, not very popular before. So yeah. That’s why.” You answered.
As soon as you finished answering you reached to take a card, but he was faster than you and took another one.
“In case you don’t know we should take turns to take the cards.” You complained.
“Ya never explained the rules sweetheart, in fact ya didn’t even know them. Next question…” He looked at the next card and… what the fuck in the fuckering fucks was this deck? Because for sure it wasn’t a deck for friends to enjoy. “How would be your ideal first time?”
What the hell was this questions? He couldn’t be reading the cards. He was messing with you for sure. “In a bed!?” You answered the obvious. “It can’t be the real question, you’re messing up with me. Give those cards, I wanna read them.”
“I ain’t giving you shit.” He answered and you could just think he was being a prick.
You tried to reach it, leaning your self in his direction, extending your arms and hands. It was a lost cause, he was bigger than you taller than you, he extended his arm in the opposite direction. You were practically on his lap trying to reach the pieces of paper in his hands when you lost your balance and fell sitting right into him.
“Who sold this deck of cards to ya?” He asked, now holding you in place.
“Why?” You could have answered, but now you were a little angry at him for not letting you read the cards.
“Who sold ya this?” He asked again, firmly.
“Princess, she told me it was a friends game and we would have fun.” You explained. Damn, he couldn’t beat her ass…
“Ya didn’t even took a look at this, did ya?
“No, I was in a hurry and I just took it. I was happy we would have something different to do.” You answered.
“Hmm…” he hummed, his fingers delicately tracing forms on your arm and waist. “Read them.” He gave you the 2 last cards he had took from the deck.
‘Challenge: Kiss your partner’s ear.’
‘Question: Would you do a threeway?’
You almost choked when you read the cards. What were these? You took the rest of the deck and couldn’t believe on all the things you were reading. Princess had sold you a Sex Deck or something. “I… I didn’t know.”
“I know. Now, my questions were better, weren’t they?”
“They weren’t more innocent.” You observed.
“Hm…” he didn’t released the hold on you, you didn’t move to leave. “But how would you like it be?”
‘With you’, you thought. You didn’t have the courage to voice it so openly. “In a comfortable place probably, so in my bed. With a person I trust, older probably…”
Older… did you have anyone in mind? Who did you know that was older than you and you trust? He started to make a list of people on his mind.
“Do ya have anyone in mind?” Very subtle Daryl. Very subtle.
“I…” You took a quick glance at him. Why did he keep doing this questions? And why did you keep answering them? “Older, tall, broad shoulders, a provider and protector, probably someone that can hunt…” Fuck you were describing him, was it too obvious? Damn everything. You looked at him. “Medium length wavy brown hair, blue eyes, serious, sometimes let out a cute smile…”
Was it possible that his heart stopped? Because he felt like it. Were you really describing him? Or maybe there was someone with those same characteristics that you liked? “Do I know that guy?”
“I’d say yes…”blush. Blush. Blush. Avert his eyes. That was it, you could lose everything. Which means him, but you had put yourself in this situation even if by mistake. “I’m talking about you.”
Silence.
Silence in the room. But not on both of your heads that were now pure chaos and inner screaming. “D’ya mean that?”
“Only if it’s not ruining things between us.” You were already regretting all of that.
“Nothing could ever ruin things between us.” Daryl said, if he thought his heart had stopped beating before, it was working on full force right now. Specially with you still so close and sitting on his lap. “Can I kiss ya?”
“Yeah…” You whispered as if you spoke any louder something would break.
Silence again. This time with expectation. He neared his face to yours and you held your breath. His lips grazed over yours, you wanted it for so long… you wanted him since you saw him entering the gates of Alexandria, Jude on his arms after rescuing her with Michonne.
The hesitation in him made you close the smallest of the gaps there were between you and pressed your lips against his. That awoke him and his lips started moving with yours. He first took his time knowing your lips, gods… did he want to do that for a long time already. Not even in his wildest dreams he could imagine it would come true. You opened your mouth slightly giving him access to your mouth, you could now savor his taste like you imagined many many times before. One of his hands locked fingers with your hair near your nape, the other holding one of your thighs. You tangled your arms around his neck, one hand caressing his brown locks.
You wanted him closer, you needed him. He needed you closer, he wanted you. There was no way you could be closer than this… unless he was inside of you. At the same time Daryl was lost in his mind he came back to his senses and slowly broke your kiss. “We shouldn’t do that. Ya drank.”
“I didn’t even drink half of the bottle, Daryl. This beer is horrible. I’ve wanted you for nearly 6 years, I don’t think I’m stopping any moment soon.” You looked at his face, your eyes buried deep inside of his. “If you want me, I want you.”
“I dun know if I know how to be delicate.” He said, ironically, caressing your face delicately. Damn, you’ve wanted him basically for the same amount of time he has wanted you.
“I don’t mind as long as it’s you” you answered. “I know you’re gonna try.”
“I’ve wanted ya for a long time, sweetheart.” He gave you a kiss on your cheek. And another. He descended his kisses to your jaw, he went up kissing under your ear, your earlobe… getting a mix of a squeal and a moan from you.
You were still sitting across his lap, his right hand made his way up your thighs lifting the dress you had on. He licked, kissed and bit your neck when his hand found your clothed pretty much wet pussy. “Ya’re so wet, sweetheart…” An open mouthed kiss on your neck. “Have you ever touched yourself?” He nibbled your skin.
“I’m a virgin, not a saint Daryl.” You were as sassy as you could while the man melted you into a pool. He put your panties aside, his fingers finally meeting your heat.
“And what do ya think about when ya do so?” He wanted to ask who you thought about. He wanted to ask if you thought about him.
“I think about…” He pressed your clit making you gasp. “…about you, touching me, fu-fucking me.”
His fingers ran through your folds while his thumb pressured your clit caressing it in circles. Moans escaping your lips as jolts of pleasure ran through your body. “Daryl… kiss me, please”
“What a cute needy thing ya’re…” He said his lips already covering yours. He teased your entrance with his index finger while still playing with your bundle of nerves. When his finger entered you, you held him strongly, it was a weird sensation his finger inside of you, but as he kept moving it inside of you, kissed you and pressed your clit, it passed and all you could think about was about the pleasure he was making you feel. Your moans were muffled by his kisses and your hips bucked against his hand. Fuck, your fingers could never do it so good like him.
He broke the kiss, but his fingers never stopped. Your walls clenched around his finger while he added a second one. You gasped, you moaned… a different sensation. “Daryl…”
“It’s ok, baby…” he whispered in a soothing way, while still working on you feeling you contracting against his fingers. “Does it feel good?”
“Yeah… does…” You didn’t even had words anymore, you just wanted to give in to the feelings.
“Yer so pretty like this, totally surrendered…” He whispered on your ear, his raspy voice sending tingles through your body, his fingers pressing all the right places over and over again. “Do ya wanna let go sweetheart? Let it go, let me see that pretty face of yours when ya cum.”
You never believed someone could cum because a person told them to. But there you were throwing your head and arching your back in pure ecstasy after hearing the words from Daryl’s lips. You felt like you were floating, your head a dizzy mess that no alcohol would be able to do something similar. Your body trembled while your walls contracted against his fingers. Your hands in fists on his shirt, while you waited that euphoric wave to subdue.
“Daryl…” You hid your face on his neck, your nose caressing his skin and your breath sending chills all over him.
“Ya good sweetheart?” He asked, his free hand now roaming your back.
“Yeah, super good…” You answered.
“Do ya want to continue?” Gosh? He really wanted to keep going, but it was you and he had to be a gentleman even if he thought he was the farthest thing from it.
“This isn’t even a question Daryl, the answer is yes. Always going to be yes.” Your hands went to both sides of his face and you pressed your lips against his one more time, needier, hungrier, eagerly… You could get used to it, kissing him, you’d have to. He was now prohibited on not kissing you, you needed his kisses like a fish needed water.
He reciprocated, of course he reciprocated, if he was living the dream he was going to leave it properly. The hand that touched you just a few minutes before went under your legs and got up with you on his arms and walked in your bedroom's direction. You had said you wanted a bed, hadn’t you?
Your feet landed softly on the floor, but you didn’t break the kiss, your arms tangled around his neck trying to bring him closer into you. His hands traveled down your body finding their rest on your butt, he had looked at them before, but touching… he tugged at the hem of your dress bringing it up your middle, your breasts just to painfully break the kiss and take it off by your head.
“Yer too damn beautiful sweetheart…” He said taking you in.
“You’re making me shy, Daryl” You said your fingers battling with the buttons of his shirt while your eyes were fixed on his face, the way he looked at you, he hasn’t done it before.
“Ya shy? The one who bought the sex cards…” he teased you, that same look on his face but a smirk on his lips.
“You know I was fooled into buying it.” You answered. “Wouldn’t buy if knew it.”
“And we probably wouldn’t be here now.”
“Probably not.” You took his shirt off revealing his torso, he was handsome. All those scars had a story which made him who he was. His manly body, his small fluffy stomach… you wanted to lick him.
He captured your lips with his one more time and guided you to the bed getting you sat and kneeling between your legs. His hands went up your back and opened your bra with an easiness that you wondered if you should be concerned, he slid it off and soon his hands were engulfing them.
Your hands touched his abdomen with such delicacy that he thought he was in heaven, your fingers ran up and down and to the sides. Casually brushing on the hem of his pants. You undid his belt while sweet moans escaped into his mouth. You unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and your hands were going incredibly south.
“Take it easy, baby. Today’s ‘bout ya.” His hands that played with your nipples went lower touching your curves and ending on each side of your panties. “And I’m still taking care of ya.”
“Is it prohibited to touch you, or something?” You asked, your hands tentatively half the way to hover his aching cock still protected by his boxers.
“Absolutely not, just… don’t feel obligated to, I wanna this be good for ya, right?” He prohibiting you from touching him? he’d let you do whatever you wanted to him, he’d be completely at your mercy, that is if that night wasn’t the very night he was introducing you to the practice. Then he tugged lightly on each side of your panties and asked you “is it okay if I take these out?”
“Yes, it is. Daryl, I give you consent for everything, so please just do it.” You said. It was cute him being so careful and asking you all the way through, but damn you trusted this man with your life, he could do everything he wanted to you.
“Eager, are we?” He teased you one more time, before sliding your panties down your legs and take a good look at you. “We did a pretty mess here, didn’t we?”
His hands went up and down your legs stopping on your thighs, he lowered his face to kiss your inner thighs, starting right where your knees started and going real close to your core that was aching for him. Just to go back and start the same process with the other side. The sounds that came out of your mouth were sweet and gave him the fuel he needed to keep going.
His facial hair was tickling you and adding to the pleasurable sensations going through your body, at the same time you sighed with bliss you giggled with it. That was till the moment his lips made contact with your pussy, at first a small kiss on your clit, then an open mouth kiss to your center. You gasped, you trembled, you bucked against him.
Instinctively your hand went to rest on his head, your fingers finding his brown locks. He didn’t complained, he just grunted while he made out with your pussy. “Oh, Daryl…” you had no words to say, only moans and his name.
He took one of your legs and put it on his shoulder. “Scoot over, sweetheart.” As he commanded you did, moving yourself up in the bed while his face was buried between your thighs. “Lay down and just enjoy, darling”.
You did as he said, at this moment you’d do anything he asked. If he told you to jump from a bridge, you’d jump from the damn bridge. You mewled as you felt his tongue all over you.
He moved his lips to suck at your clit making your hips buck into his face, with one hand holding on your thigh, he took the other right at your heat again. This time when his finger entered your warm sweet cave it didn’t feel foreign anymore, it felt familiar as if it belonged there. Your fingers massaged his scalp while you whimpered at his stimulation. As his fingers curved inside of you and hit that spot, you contracted against him, a signal you were close.
He got more engaged on his ministrations, he wanted you to reach your peek one more time. He wanted your juices all over his face. Gods! He wanted you well prepared for when he finally put his dick where it belonged, inside of you. When you came, you came harder than the first time, a mess of moans of his name and little cries of pleasure. Of course you weren’t aware of it, you were too lost in the bliss.
He helped you through your high, till it passed. He got his head up from between your folds, his face glistening with your cum. He squeezed your thighs seeing you didn’t seem to be back yo this world. “Ya there sweetheart?”
His voice brought you back to reality. “I’m here.”, you finally answered he crawled the bed to look in your face, his knew and thigh between your legs.
“Ya’re doing so well, baby.”, he said right before kissing you slowly and sweet, the taste of you inside his mouth mixing with the flavor of your mouths. Your hands traveling from his head, to his neck and shoulders, sliding down his arms and finding it’s way down his chest. Your hand finally palming him over the fabric of his boxers. He hissed, the feeling too much for him to take. Your pretty little hands weren’t even touching his skin and he felt his control slipping through his fingers. Damn he was feeling like a teenager, he’d cum right there if he didn’t took control over again.
You slid your hand inside bringing him outside, your hand slowly going up and down on his skin. He tried to hold on, keep composed, you were exploring and he was loving every minute of it, he had to let you before taking control again. Your hand moved from the base to the tip of his dick, delicate and precise. “Darling, I can’t let you keep with it… I’ll not be able to hold it if you continue.”
While you did it you analyzed it, it was big, tick and veiny. It was beautiful and glorious, you wondered how would it be to have it inside of you.. you even wondered how it would be to do other things with it, like putting it in your mouth. “Sorry, just wanted to feel it…” you managed to say, almost pouting.
“Sweetheart, don’t be sorry. Do you have any idea for how long I wanted you? I’m… so excited that I’m losing control.” He confessed, it was cute, you let go of it and took your hands back to his face and neck.
“It’s ok, I share the same feeling. That’s why I couldn’t help myself.” You confessed looking into his eyes, raising your head to peck on his lips. “You can have me Daryl…”
“If ya ever want to stop, just let me know, al’ight?” He said, eyes on yours, noses brushing.
“It’s ok.” You answered capturing his lips in yours right after and closing your eyes.
You kissed slowly, tenderly and intensely. Both of you shifting your bodies into more comfortable positions while doing so. He stopped the kiss, giving your lips some pecks before speaking. “It’s not gonna be like my fingers, are ya ready?”
“Yes, please.” You looked at his blue eyes and felt he was more worried than you. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he knew that was the only way of doing it, the only way for your first time. At least he had tried preparing you, he didn’t know of it was going to work, he never had a woman that hadn’t experienced it before. “It’s gonna be ok, Daryl…”
“Ok, love…” the words rolled from his lips easily before he could notice them.
He kissed you again, passionately, his hands traveling down your body. He took a handful of your thighs pressing your body more against his, you could feel his hardness pretty much alive rubbing against your sensitive folds. He stopped the kissing again, looking at your eyes and you nodded as if you said ‘yes, do it. Let’s start.’.
He pumped his cock, spreading your moisture on it before positioning it at your entrance. He pressed it against you, slowly trying to make his way in, to break the barriers and do what both of you wanted. He pushed himself inside little by little, the stretch felt like too much to start with it, but you held yourself like a big girl and when he finally broke that barrier the stretch was nothing compared to the burning sensation you felt down there, tears automatically coming to your eyes. “Definitely not your fingers…”, you wanted it to be a joke, but sounded more like a complaint.
“Wanna stop baby?” He asked hands caressing your face and hair. You shook your head unable to answer. He kissed the tears from your face, one of his hands traveling down to your clit, rubbing and pressing it in hopes the pain you felt would go away. “Whenever you’re ready to continue sweetheart.” He said kissing your neck.
As he pressed and rubbed your clit the pain started to subdue and you started to feel mote pf him and the jolts of pleasure being sent throughout your body. The way your walls contracted around him a signal your body was now accepting him. “I’m ready…” you said when he could continue and he continued to move until he bottomed out, not very difficult with all the slickness inside of you.
When he finished going all the way in, you let out a moan while he grunted. He started moving slowly, not going out too much. You braced yourself on him, your arms going around him and your hands soothingly slipping on his skin. He increased the speed in small portions, never going too fast, but now going almost the way out just to go back again.
You felt in a very sensual dance with him, the way his body moved against yours and the way your body responded to his as if you were in sink. Sighs and moans left your lips, making a symphony he so much enjoyed. “Sweetheart, ya feel so good… so tight. Ya’re doing so well.”
He kept on caressing your head, his fingers moving on your hair, his eyes never leaving yours recording in his memory every reaction he saw in you.
“Oh , Daryl… please…” Even in a heated moment like this, he thought you were so cute.
“Please what, baby? What do ya want?” He nuzzled your neck, his voice hoarser from lust.
“More, I want more… please…” You pleaded by his ear, so driven by him that you just wanted more of whatever he could offer you.
“As ya wish sweetheart” He didn’t increase his speed, but increased his precision looking for that spongy place inside of you that would make you see starts. When he hit it for the first time yesterday you moaned/screamed at the feeling huge if compared to his fingers doing the exact same thing.
After it he continued trying hit it over and y again, his fingers drawing circles on your bundle of nerves. You a complete mess, surrendered to him, closer and closer to your sweet destination as your walls spasmed around him. “Are ya close, love? It’s ok, ya can cum… I’ll go right after ya.”
With a few more trusts of him, you came messy and hard, your vision getting white as your body convulsed held by him. He kept trusting inside you and as your walls held him so tightly, he got to same place as you. Ridding both your highs for as long as he could.
His body collapsed on top of you, the crushing sensation of his body over you making you feel safe and protected. Both your breaths trying to regulate your fingers massaging his scalp and running on his hair while his mouth couldn’t help but press little soft kisses on the skin on your shoulder. When both of you had calmed down, he propped himself to look at you. “Are you ok? How do ya feel?”
“I’m perfectly fine.” You said looking at his face. “It was so good. Thank you…”
“Sweetheart, don’t have to thank me for that.” Gods, he was the one that need to be thankful. “I guess it’s time we take care of ya.”
He pulled out of you, immediately regretting and missing your warm walls. He went through your things looking for a towel he could use and found a small one. He returned to find you sprawled on bed with both of your cums and a little bit of blood, leaking from you. “Damn… I could get used to this view.” He didn’t think before speaking.
“You can get used to this.” You said, he could see it everyday if he wanted to.
He used the towel to clean you and afterwards the bed. When he finished taking care of you, he laid by your side, covering your bodies under a comfy blanket. You laid your head on his chest while he held you in his arms and you could listen to his heartbeat.
“I was serious when I said you could get used to this. You could have this everyday if it depends on me.”
His heart skipped a beat or two listening to your words. If you wanted him, he would have you like this everyday. Instead of letting his past insecurities overcome him, he decided now was the perfect time to use that sassy remark you threw at him earlier. “Will ya show me how you’re not a saint in the next times?”
Wanna be added to my tag list? Let me know. (Please tell me if you want to be tagged on everything or just specific series) Everything Taglist: @lilyevanstan1325 @hayley1998 @vaniniweenie @cupidelocke @avabh12 @whore4romance @dixondystopia @dixons-sunshine @bigbaldheadname @negansbestie @gabriella-aesthetic @fluffy-dixon @lunajay33
#daryl dixon#the walking dead#daryl x reader#the walking dead daryl#twd daryl#twd#deansapplepie#daryl fanfiction#daryl x y/n#daryl dixon x reader#the walking dead daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon the walking dead#daryl#daryl dixon smut#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl x female reader
660 notes
·
View notes
Text
Does anyone else think it’s weird that basic female names are insults now. Like it started with Karen but it’s bled into nearly all female names. When someone is talking about a fictitious generalization of annoyances they experience and they attach a female name as a joke. Like I saw a post recently that said something to the effect of “I hate when old people go on long rambles when I’m just trying to do my job. I’m not your therapist Janet” I agree with your point here but why are we attaching a female name to this for no reason. What about the name being female makes it inherently evil. Is it because it’s commonly associated with older women? Why isn’t there a male equivalent to “Karen”?
My friend recently said she doesn’t like the vitriol toward the name Karen because all Karens she has met were nice. Then she threw out a couple other generic female names she thought were much eviler and asked my opinion. I told her my opinion was that I don’t attach morality to names just because they’re names usually given to female babies.
#gonna be real I think Karen is a very pretty name#radblr#radical feminism#radfeminism#radical feminist safe#radical feminist community#proud misandrist#misandry#female rage
832 notes
·
View notes
Text
After Party
NSFW 18+ male minotaur x female reader
Contains: drug use (sort of), overstimulation, talk of breeding, size difference
Word Count: 4603
Lore/World-building prompt
After your company Yuletide party, you head out to the mixed species club. Even though it is not your usual scene you wind up going back to a minotaur's apartment for the night. A minotaur's cum is said to have euphoric magical effects and you are about to have a first-hand experience.
~
The walls of the club throbbed slightly offbeat with the flashing red and green lights. On the dance floor, bodies writhed to the pulsing beat of the music, so loud that they felt the tone vibrate their bodies to a rap version of Jingle Bells. You watched the moving mass from a stool on the edge near the bar. Some work acquaintances had invited you out with them after the company Yule party, but this was not your usual scene. Perhaps that is why you ended up as the designated sober person and drink watcher. Perhaps your acquaintances had planned it that way, but you’d rather not think about it at the moment.
Your eyes swept over the crowd, picking out two of the three people you had come with. Yet, you could not help but be drawn to the sight of the others on the floor. The monsters. Many of the monsters stood out against the crowd of humans. Larger in size or with noticeable horns or tails. Mixed species bars and clubs were becoming more common ever since the tension with the monsters from the other side of the Rift had given way to peaceful acceptance.
You saw a naga dancing with a woman, her long snake lower half undulating around her partner sensually. A werewolf ground against the rear of his dance partner, advertising the goods under his pants. Dancing with one of your co-workers was a faun, his hairy hands roaming over their lean body suggestively.
Your legs rubbed together with desire. There had always been something about monsters for you. They were just better, more alluring, than humans. Maybe it was the forbidden aspect, how those relationships still broke boundaries even in this peaceful age. Not to mention how fascinating their cultures were, and their biology and magic were outstanding in your eyes. Such variety. Not that you had ever experienced anything with a monster beyond a short kiss with the siren dimensional exchange student in high school during Spin-the-Bottle.
Across the dance floor, your eyes made contact with a massive bull minotaur. The air left your lungs, and your core clenched with want at the sight of him. He was leaning against one of the small tables with a drink in his hand, an orc and an elf were next to him, surveying the stock of potential partners in the club. All three were wearing Santa hats and modified business clothes. They must have come here after a work function, too.
“What is a beautiful thing like you doing sitting over here,” a voice asked, a body suddenly pressing against the space beside you.
Glancing over, you saw what had to be a Hollywood cutout of a human pick-up artist leaning against the wall. One of his arms was above his head to take up more space and allow him to lean into you. With that one move, he successfully trapped you between him and the small table on which your and your acquaintances’ drinks sat. It was so intentionally casual that he had to have practiced it. Lame.
“Not interested,” you immediately told him, returning your gaze across the club. The minotaur you had locked eyes with was gone.
“Hey, hey, don’t be like that, babe,” the man said, reaching across your field of view to set his drink on the table. “Come on. Are you feeling self-conscious? That shirt may make you look fat, but the color really brings out your gorgeous eyes.”
You gave the man a look of disgust. “Did you really just try to neg me?! Go away.”
“Don’t be a bitch, that was a compliment.” He went to grab you, but suddenly, a large, meaty hand covered in short black fur wrapped around his wrist. The minotaur from across the club.
“Pretty sure the kyría told you to go away.” His voice was low and deep, almost lost among the throbbing bass of the music, but its edge was just threatening enough to reach their ears.
“Let go of me, animal,” the pick-up artist hissed, struggling vainly against the minotaur’s grip.
“What is in your hand,” the minotaurs asked, not even acknowledging the man’s words. Forcing his hand open, the minotaur pulled out a small bottle of white liquid. Taking it from him, the minotaur sniffed the half-empty bottle. “Really, you spiked her drink with this fake minotaur essence bullcrap?”
“What,” you exclaimed, outraged. “You were trying to drug me?!” Without thinking your foot shot out and nailed the desperate pick-up artist in the stomach. “Get the fuck out of here before I call the Wardens!”
The minotaur released the human as he clutched his stomach in pain. “Fucking cow deserves a beast,” he muttered just loud enough for them to hear as he scurried away.
The minotaur snorted, his hoof scraping the ground, causing the pick-up artist to run all the faster. You flipped off the human before your attention returned to the minotaur towering before you. “Thanks.”
“Minotaurs are guardians,” he said as if that explained everything.
“I thought that was just a stereotype.”
The minotaur smirked, lowering his head, and he spoke into your ear. His low voice resonated in your bones even more than the music. “True for our mates.”
Your face went brick red, your core clenching with desire at his suggestive words.
“Oh,” you managed to squeak out, the noise lost amongst the music. Your face was red hot. In an attempt to cover your sudden inability to speak and cool your face, you reached for your drink.
Then the minotaur’s large, callused hand covered yours. “Hold on, ómorfi̱ kyría; the bastard spiked that.”
“Right,” you replied, your brain still trying to catch up with the attraction and swirl of emotions you were feeling from being flirted with by such a prime specimen of beef. “With the fake, uh, minotaur essence.”
“Exactly, a low move. A woman like you deserves the authentic stuff straight from the source.” He chuckled and leaned in to speak into your ear. “So, can I get you a drink?”
Your mind went blank. No one had ever been so smoothly direct with you before. You weren’t completely sure how you responded, but you felt your mouth move. The minotaur grinned and tugged at your hand, leading you through the press of people. The next thing you knew, the cool night air hit your face, the city night blessedly silent compared to the pounding music of the club. The winter air helped to clear your head.
“My apartment is not far if that is alright with you,” the minotaur suggested as you walked. His low voice stood out even more without the pulse of the music.
“I…that’s fine…”
“There is no pressure, kyría. We can get a hotel room if that is more comfortable for you.” He gestured down the street where a few hourly hotels were set up for people leaving the clubs.
“No, it is fine…I’ve just never done this before.”
“Have sex with a monster or just a minotaur?”
“Well, yes to both, honestly, but more gone home with a stranger from a club. I typically don’t go out to clubs at all…” As you confessed, you felt even more awkward. What were you doing? This was silly. You didn’t even know his name.
He gave a nod. “You are not obliged. I would have stopped that man without wanting you as well. You are beautiful, but you do not owe me.”
A smile came to your face that was sweet of him, something that many humans could not grasp. “Thank you. I-I would like to continue, though. I am simply outside of my usual comfort zone. I am sure once we start, I will feel far different.”
The minotaur nodded again. “Do not be afraid to speak up if you feel uncomfortable. Despite what people say, we are not mindless rutting beasts…unless you want me to be.” He winked. The blush you had felt in the club reentered your cheeks.
As you walked, a crowd of drunken people approached, forcing you to move closer to the minotaur. His hand stretched out and wrapped around you, his strong hand gripping your hips as he pulled you close. A snort left him, steam billowing from his nostrils, the sight causing the drunks to back up and hurry along. Even when the group was long gone, his hand did not remove itself from your body but settled on your waist. Its heavy weight was titillating, reinvigorating your blushing desire. Under the pretense of keeping warm, you pressed against him further.
It was not long before you arrived at his apartment. At most, it was a ten-minute walk from the club and one of the apartment buildings recently renovated to accommodate the needs of monsters. Even so, he still had to duck to enter the elevator or risk catching his horns. As the elevator rose, the massive hand on your waist began to roam. His thick fingers ran along the hem of your shirt, slipping underneath it to tease your skin. The palm of his hand slid down and cupped your ass cheek with a gentle squeeze.
You bit your lower lip but couldn’t suppress the soft squeak of pleasure from your throat. He massaged your ass, his thumb rubbing circles around the end of your spine. While you were still a bit nervous, the arousal you were feeling started to override it. Glancing over at him, you slid your hand up his strong arm, feeling the powerful muscles underneath his short, bristly fur.
“You like that kyría,” he asked, pulling you closer to him. Two of his fingers slipped between your legs and rubbed your quickly swelling lips through the cloth of your pants.
“Yes,” you groaned, grinding against his fingers lightly. Glancing down, you saw the bulge in his pants growing. You were about to fuck a monster. A minotaur. Anticipation mixed in with the nervous arousal.
A smirk graced his snout, his ears flickering with delight. If a bull could purr he did so, “Good.”
The ding of the elevator barely registered in your head, but the minotaur dragged you down the hall to his apartment. For his size, the apartment looked small, though that could have been due to the larger-than-normal furniture taking up more space. But you weren’t allowed more than that cursory glance around before his hands were on you again. His hands rubbed against your body before lifting you up. He put your ass on the high kitchen table as he spoke low in your ear. “You said you had never been with a minotaur before. You might struggle to articulate things after catching a whiff of my essence. What are your boundaries?”
It took a moment for your mind to recognize what he was asking. Plucking the Santa hat from his head, you tossed it to the side as you answered. “No butt stuff. Not too rough.”
“Dirty talk, alright? Talk of breeding?” He squeezed your clothed breasts, his thumbs rubbing over your nipples, which were already rock hard.
“Nothing degrading, but yes to both otherwise.” You ran your hands across his broad chest, feeling his strong pectoral muscles flexing under your touch. Many beastfolk, like minotaurs, had a breeding kink (though perhaps it was simply vanilla for them), and you wouldn’t deny the appeal of that language either.
“Inside or outside?”
“What,” you asked, pulling back a bit confused.
“Inside,” he dipped his hand in between your legs, “or outside?” He drew his hand up and splayed it across your stomach.
His cum. Where did you want his cum? Your face went deep red again. Taking a long breath to steady yourself, you managed to get your reply out without too much difficulty. “I’ll take some night tea. So, don’t just talk about breeding me; actually do it.”
A low bellow of want released from him, his nostrils flaring. “Careful, kyría, words like those really will turn me into a rutting beast.”
You were about to formulate a reply when he lifted you from the table. Your legs wrapped around him as he carried you to the bed. Oh, it was a studio apartment that made sense with his horns - fewer doorways. Setting you on the bed, his large fingers fumbled with the small buttons of your shirt.
“Let me,” you told him, quickly unbuttoning your shirt and pants. He watched you remove all but your underpants, his ear twitching and tail swaying with interest. The red of embarrassment began to grow once again under his desired gaze.
“You know,” he said, removing his shirt and revealing his thick, muscled form. “I love how shy humans get about sex. It is cute seeing your face go red.”
He kneeled on the bed, his large, heavy body pressing you down. A wet nose brushed against your cheek. “Now, I will turn the rest of your body red by breeding you all night.”
Your shy nerves hit a tipping point, not to where you withdrew but where the reality crashed upon you. This was happening; this was truly happening. You were going to fuck a minotaur. An excited grin came to your face.
Lifting your hand, you touched the side of his face and pulled his snout to your mouth for a kiss. His broad tongue plunged into your mouth, overwhelming you quickly. Your tiny tongue could barely fight against him, but you managed to rub it back and forth against the underside of his tongue. He pulled back from the kiss just as you ran out of air. A thick strand of saliva connecting your mouths together broke, landing against your chest. The minotaur huffed, his ears twitching with excitement.
His large hands gripped your body, one holding your thigh, massaging the generous flesh, and the other engulfing your breast. “Mmm, look at these. Your tits are so lovely. I could suckle at them for hours.”
Lowering his head, he took your other breast in his mouth. His lips pulled on your nipple, sending shocks of pleasure through your body. His fingers rolled your other nipple between them, tugging occasionally. He settled into a rhythmic sucking as if he was trying to milk you.
Under his touch, your body writhed, hips rolling underneath him as your pussy swelled with need. Your dripping core brushed against the large member straining in his pants, providing delicious friction.
With a pop, he released your breast from his mouth. The viscous saliva tingling in the cool air of his apartment. “Beautiful.”
He cupped both of them in his hands, massaging the globes, his thumbs circling your nipples. “But just imagine them full of milk. Heavy and swollen. Leaking. I’d hand-milk you every morning while slowly filling you with my cock.”
You moaned at the thought. His hands slid down to your hips. Sliding his thumbs under your panties, he lifted your hips into the air as he pulled them off. Your legs settled around his neck—your slick, swollen core inches from his snout. His broad tongue swept out in a long lick that touched every part of your dripping lower lips. A huff of hot air rushed over your aching clit as he snorted with pleasure.
“Damn, you taste sweet.” His tongue dove back in. Long, slow, broad licks that savored your taste. It felt so good but wasn’t quite enough to make you come. Then you felt his tongue press inside of you. That muscle alone stretched your inner walls; it was as big as most human male members itself. With the same deliberation, he fucked your dripping hole with his tongue. The tip of his tongue pressed against that perfect spot within you, and your vision went white as you came hard across his tongue.
The minotaur pulled back, licking his lips with satisfaction. “Delicious.”
“I--I thought you were going to breed me,” you said with panting breath as you came down from your orgasmic high.
“Oh, that is next. But a woman like you deserves the effort of making you orgasm without the influence of my cum.” Carefully, he lifted your legs off of his shoulders and set your ass on the bed. Standing, his gaze fixed you in place as he pulled the ties of his pants. He was not wearing anything underneath.
His jet-black fur went all the way down his body, covering the heavy ballsack between his furred legs. Jutting out of its sheath was the only bare skin - his meaty cock dripping with precum. The scent of the precum reached your nose. The musky aroma immediately entranced you. Your body was already flushed with arousal, sensitive from orgasm, but you shuddered with pleasure at the mere scent. What would it be like to consume it?
Eyes dilating, you focused on the magnificent source of the musk. Reaching out, your fingers touched the searing heat of his thick member. You couldn’t even wrap your hand all the way around. Before you could lower your head and press your lips to the flared head of his member, the minotaur’s hand cupped your chin and forced you to look at him.
“Last chance to back out, kyria,” he warned, “trust me. Once you have a taste, the essence will take full effect.”
Blinking, you realized that, indeed, you had so quickly succumbed to his musk that tasting his cum would put you in a state unable to express yourself except in pleasure. “You’re sweet,” you told him with a smile, “and I intend to take you up on that offer of a drink from the source. You’ll have enough to breed me afterward, right?”
The minotaur grinned and released your chin. “I guarantee you will be thoroughly bred.”
Still smiling, you lowered your head to his weeping member. White beads of his manly minotaur essence drew your eye. Leaning forward, you pressed a gentle kiss against his glands. The scent was overwhelming, and you had to taste it. Opening your mouth, you notice that the creamy precum washed over your tongue. It was salty yet had a rich flavor you found hard to describe.
Even more indescribable was the sensation of the essence taking hold on you. Almost like breathing in peppermint a tingling sensation coursed through your head, energizing you. Yet, like hot chocolate, the whole round flavor washed over you like soaking in a hot bath as your muscles relaxed. The combined sensation was a lethargic yet ever-present need for the succulent thing in front of you - cock. You needed cock.
With slow movements, as if in awe of the member before you, you began to lick and suck at his cock. You had to get more of that wonderful essence within you. You needed it within you, on you. Your body craved his cum.
Your hands pumped along his length as you tried to work his cock into your mouth. The essence leaking from his tip worked its magical effects. Relaxing your jaw and tongue but also allowing them to stretch past their usual boundaries. Soon, you were bobbing your head. There were still physical limitations, even with his essence easing the way, but you managed to work a good third of his cock into your mouth and down your throat. Usually, you’d choke on something this big, but with the magic of his essence, your throat had become an accommodating zone of pleasure - for both him and you.
His large hand gripped the back of your head, guiding your motions. A snorting grunt of pleasure escaped him. “By Asterion, your mouth is magic kyria. ”
Your hands continued to pump the rest of his length. His was hot and pulsing under your fingers. He forced your head back and forth faster, fucking your throat. Suddenly, his searing essence poured down your throat straight into your stomach. You moaned around his cock, your hands continuing to pump him, as you were rewarded with three more spurts of his creamy cum.
With a pop, the minotaur removed the still-hard cock from your mouth. It felt like you were floating. Drunk on his cock. High from his cum. You reached for his cock once more. You wanted to worship it. You could spend hours sucking him off until his cum bloated your stomach. Yet, he pulled you away and up into his arms, your needy pussy spread wide as your legs were situated on either side of his body.
“No, no more in your mouth. I am going to breed you now, kyria. Your pussy will be overflowing with my cum.”
Oh. That did sound better. Your aching pussy filled to the brim. Cum in its proper place.
His thick cock rubbed along your pussy. You ground against it, the remainder of his cum spreading across your slick folds, starting its magic to make him fit inside of you.
“What an eager mate,” he commented, letting you cover his member with your needy juices. “Look at your beautiful body flushed red for me.”
“P-peas,” you grounded unable to pronounce your plea correctly with how far your mind was gone.
“You can still speak? I’ll have to fix that.” With a grin, he stopped your hips’ grinding.
Dragging your body up, he positioned the wide head of his cock against your dripping hole. Achingly slow, he pressed inside of you. His wide cock stretched every part of you. A deep, throaty moan left you as the thick rod hit your cervix. He was barely halfway in you. The minotaur pulled back his cock, scraping your insides.
“Nooo,” you moaned as the wonderful fullness left you. He stopped with his flared tip, just barely inside of you. Then with a swift motion, he forced you down onto his cock.
Your mind went blank from the pleasure. Everything else faded from your awareness. All there was, was the minotaur holding you and the hot cock within you.
Your inner walls pulsed with orgasm, but he continued to move your hips up and down his length. His essence was slowly opening your needy pussy to his huge cock, but the remnants from your blowjob weren’t enough. You needed more in order to take him all. And he was all too happy to provide.
With a bellow, he forced your hips down as far as they could go as he dumped another round of cum into you. The searing hot cum filled your hole, prompting another orgasm from you. A wordless scream of pleasure left your throat. Your naked body pressed against his fur-covered chest, your fingers gripping his hard muscles.
Yet, even as you came for the third time that night, you wanted more. You tried to beg for that. Plea for more. But as he had promised, words were wiped from your mind. As your lips formed the “mm” all that followed was a long, deep moan. “Mmoooo!”
“There we go, kyria. Give in to the pleasure.” His member was still rock hard inside of you. Shifting your body, he laid you on the bed, his cock never leaving your pussy, so his cum was sealed inside of you, working its magic.
“This is why I love humans. Shy at first. Watching breaking you down until you give into your true nature.” As he spoke, the minotaur maneuvered your legs and hips until he was holding you down in a mating press, his hand holding your arms down so all you could do was receive him.
You tried to beg again, but all that came out was another moo-like moan. He chuckled, the vibration coursing through you, causing a whimper. Leaning over you, he pulled your ecstasy-addled face to his, dominating you with a kiss. “Pleasure-drunk, breeding cows.”
His cock pressed further into you as the cum worked its magical effect. Deliberate, unyielding pressure let his thick, meaty rod sink into your body. Half his cock. Three-quarters. Seven-eighths. He pulled back to the tip. Then with a mighty thrust, his cock hilted in your pussy, his cum squirting out.
The minotaur jack-hammered into you. His balls, heavy with thick cum even after two orgasms, slapped against you. All of it. You wanted all of his cum. He was right. This was your true nature. This is what you wanted all along. To be a pleasure-drunk breeding cow for a minotaur. With breasts swollen with milk for your calves. Your bull filling you with his cock as he milked you.
“Fuck, kyria, your cunt is sweeter than a purebred Bova. I’ve never had a human take me this well.” His hips stuttered as he came once more. You screamed as you came along with him. Your eager walls milking the cum from his cock.
He let your cream-filled pussy rest as he sat on his hooves, his eyes staring at the cum bubbling from your hole. You stared at the ceiling, your chest heaving with effort. Your body limp from both pleasure and the cum’s magic. Slowly you were able to lower your legs, causing a stream of cum to pour out of you. With shaking hands, you reached down and stroked your swollen abused lips spreading his cum around. Once your fingers were covered in the sticky cream, you lifted them to your mouth.
Tongue lolling out of your mouth, you greedily sucked your fingers clean. The minotaur grunted with amusement. Managing to glance at him, you saw his cock half deflated but now regrowing to full size. Grabbing your ankle, he turned you on your hands and knees. Without prelude, he slammed himself into your pussy once more.
“You have turned me into a rutting beast, kyria,” he told you between thrusts. His huge hands reached around you to hold your breasts. His powerful fingers twisting and tugging on your engorged nipples.
“If this were the old days, I would whisk you away. Guard your fertile body to ensure you only carried my calves. My own personal breeding cow. Milk you when our calf was weaned to keep the milk in you, then breed you over and over. Start a herd.”
You were helpless beneath him. All you could do was moan and pant underneath him. All you could do was receive his cock and cum with ecstatic joy.
Several orgasms and about an hour later, even the mighty virile minotaur was spent. You were filled with his cum, but the effects of it were beginning to fade as you laid on top of him in the bed. His powerful arms were wrapped around your waist possessively. Your hands mindlessly stroked his fur as his chest rose and fell beneath you.
“Are you alright, kyria,” he asked, his massive chest rumbling under you. “I didn’t go too hard, did I?”
“No,” you replied, nuzzling into him, too tired to elaborate at all. You were still processing the intense experience.
“Good, good…so, I am not sure how much you remember, but I was just caught up in the moment saying I’d turn you into a breeding cow…that being said…I don’t suppose you’d be open to seeing each other again?”
Shakily, you managed to lift yourself up to look into his deep brown eyes. You released a tired chuckle.
“What,” he asked, his hands tightening a tad nervously on your waist.
“I just realized,” you told him with another chuckle, “I don’t even know your name.”
“Oh,” he chuckled now as well, “I’m Tyrus. Pleasured to meet you…um…”
You chuckled once more and told him your name. “It has been a pleasure, Tyrus, and I would love to see you again.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other Department of Monster Affairs works
Werewolf bites and bodily fluids - worldbuilding/lore prompt for Hello Neighbor
Hello Neighbor - m!werewolf x f!reader, teratophilia, knotting, heat. One-shot.
For other works see my masterlist
#tw drugs#minotaur x human#monster fucking#monster fucker#minotaur x reader#monster kink#monster x you#teratophillia#tw monsterfucking#monster smut#monster x reader#monster x human#Department of Monster Affairs
439 notes
·
View notes
Text
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE — 이 희승
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/edbe694ac84b1f475c7cd6c382d8d957/ab5f17e5ae7fe68f-3a/s540x810/6b422b41f960f0234fd4463b2ce4380c4421e7c1.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c2d0c9558851451c1b4724bd151a14c7/ab5f17e5ae7fe68f-c4/s540x810/bc7825bb4e84bde286f081737975a54812db04c3.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/97bc490371ba635769759dffed67fbd9/ab5f17e5ae7fe68f-c9/s540x810/cceb88f4fa2f8df7341c473e38492cc42a3be1ab.jpg)
PAiRiNG: bf!heeseung x insecure!fem!reader.
SyNOPSiS: you feel insecure about your body but Heeseung is always there to make you feel better.
WARNiNGS: kissing, skinship, kind of smut, mentions of the female body, insecurities, heeseung is a cutie, nipple sucking,
GeNRa: fluff, smut-ish, established relationship, short drabble.
now playing: just the way you are — bruno mars
Your back was resting in your bed, Heeseung softly on top of you kissing your lips while his hands were roaming all over your body.
Of course you’ve make out with him a few times before, but it never have gotten this far.
Your experiences of having sex with past of previous relationships didn’t end in the best way possible. Instead of being a beautiful and intimate moment with your partner to express the love you had for each other, it ended up in you crying in your bathroom floor.
we should turn the lights off…
damn—you have a lot of stretch marks.
you didn’t shave? uh—maybe we should stop.
your ass has a weird shape.
your boobs are too big.
i don’t wanna see your belly next time, alright baby?
You were so lost in your own mind that you didn’t even notice when Heeseung took your shirt off, leaving only the bra that was covering your breasts and your pants on.
“Hee…” you spoke softly, your forehead resting against his.
“Hmm? Are you okay, baby? We can stop if you want, no pressure. Take you time.” he said, his thumb caressing your cheek.
“I just— are you sure you want to do this?”
“Of course I want to.” Heeseung stoped and sat on the bed, looking directly into your eyes. “Why wouldn’t I be? I love you.”
“I know, I know. It’s just that…” you sighted. “I don’t want to fuck up this moment because I really love you too, Hee.”
“Y/N, baby, it’s okay. You’re not going to fuck up anything, you can tell me whatever you want.” he took your hand and started kissing your knuckles.
“It’s just that—Boys have said things, about my body. And I don’t want you to think something related to that, you know? I mean—What if you think that my belly has a weird shape? Or you see that I have stretch marks on my waist and you don’t like them? Or—”
“Y/N!” Heeseung spoke, taking your hands between his hands and kissing your forehead. “I love you, okay? I, Lee Heeseung, Love. You.”
“I love your eyes.” he kissed a spot near them. “I love your hair.” then your head. “I love your lips.” he gave you a kiss. “I love every single inch of your body, and there’s no thing on this Earth that would make me change my mind.”
“You’re so fucking cute, oh my god.” you pulled him in a hug. no one has ever said such a beautiful thing about your body, and for the first time in a very long journey, you felt comfortable with yourself. “Thanks, Hee. I love you.”
“You’re going to let me take care of you now?” he smirked.
“Yeah.” you smiled.
Your boyfriend’s lips were in yours once again, his hands touching your breasts over your lacy bra. He kissed your lips, your cheeks, your jaw and slowly getting down your neck. Your bra was now discarded somewhere on your room floor, and Heeseung’s kisses were slowly getting down to your tits.
“So perfect… So fucking perfect.” he murmured between kisses.
His mouth went to one of your nipples, sucking the bud softly and kissing it here and there. Your other nipple was between Heeseung’s fingers, who was pinching it to give you the perfect amount of pleasure. He then went to your other nipple, taking care of it like he did before.
Heeseung took his shirt off to now focus on trailing a path of kisses from the between of your breasts to where your pants started. He took them down a little bit, revealing your stretch marks on the side of your waist. He started to kiss them, every single stretch mark or imperfection visible in your body was getting touch by your boyfriend’s sweet and loving lips.
“You’re the most beautiful woman on the entire earth.”
He got up and went to your kiss your lips again, a gesture of reassurance telling you he loved you and every single part of you.
#enhypen#lee heesung x reader#lee heeseung#enhypen fluff#fluff#enha x reader#smut#heesung smut#heesung enhypen#lee heesung smut#enhypen imagines#enha heeseung#enha soft hours#enhypen comfort#heeseung
461 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Perfect Winter Evening
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/119082ea6a4ac05f95f25fc6cb350a63/7d7f297c9d00acff-3d/s540x810/d62b7fbee60081cf19ca93e4799c9838d9b9dde6.jpg)
Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Snow outside, a crackling fire, hot chocolate, and your lumberjack make for a perfect evening.
Word Count: Over 700
Warnings: Established relationship, fluff, Bucky Barnes being in love (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: For @buck-star's Fluffy Winter Event, sitting together in front of the fireplace. I went Burly and Bambi for this one.❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Bucky edit by the amazing @nixakimbo. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9c19037bfdd4f69d27d96ef4a6507de8/7d7f297c9d00acff-b1/s540x810/86539f15c32db093fccf64e76fb8287b8e11f3e2.jpg)
Snow fell outside the cabin, heavy enough that you wanted to stay indoors to avoid the cold yet light enough to create a serene image. It looked like something from a painting, down to the moonlight shining through the trees. The perfect winter evening. Even better because you had the perfect man to share it with.
“Do I have to pry you away from the window, Bambi?” Bucky asked, his deep rumbly voice making you smile. “Not that the view out the window isn’t beautiful, but I think the better view is over here.”
Looking over your shoulder, you gazed at your beautiful lumberjack as he added one more log to the fireplace. He had a point about the better view. He had his hair pulled back tonight and wore a sweater with his signature jeans, and he likely had the sleeves of his shirt pushed up to tease you and get your attention. “Maybe,” you replied, biting your lip as he stood up. “Give me one reason why I should join you over there instead of staying over here, Burly.”
He gestured to the spot in front of the fireplace where he had a blanket and pillows set up, creating a romantic setting to go with the perfect winter evening. “One, this is the perfect place to keep warm and two, you get a chance to snuggle with me.”
You tapped your finger against your chin. You never needed a reason to cuddle with your man, but you would happily take it. Still, it was fun to tease him a little. “Tempting, tempting,” you said, pretending to think about it as he took slow, deliberate steps toward you. “Give me another reason.”
“Oh, no. You said one reason and I actually gave you two. Keeping warm, and snuggling with me,” he smirked, reaching out to take your hand. “And I think snuggling with me should actually count as two and three.”
“That’s true. I’ll give you that.” You let him pull you close, but leaned your head back when he tried to kiss you. The pinch in his brows was adorable. “But what about the hot chocolate?”
You couldn’t help smiling when he looked offended, his pretty blue eyes filled with mock hurt. “You think I’d set up a romantic fire for us on a cold night and not have hot chocolate waiting?” he asked, your heart racing when he gripped your chin, his calloused touch filled with tenderness that no one else got to experience. “And here I thought you loved me.”
“I do love you,” you whispered, not stopping him this time when his lips touched yours. It was as gentle as the snow falling, sending wonderful shivers down your spine. “And I know you love me, too.”
He showed you every day that he loved you through his thoughtfulness. Like how he always had your favorite snacks stocked up so you wouldn’t have to rush into town when you had a craving. Or how he had blankets or one of his shirts nearby, so you’d stay warm. And a kiss on your lips every morning before he started his day and one every evening once he came home.
“More than anything,” he whispered, your heart racing all over again. “Now will you please snuggle with me before I lose my mind?”
You melted at his puppy dog eyes. How could someone so burly pull off a look like that? And crave snuggling so much? “Okay, but only because I don’t want you to lose your mind,” you teased.
“That’s incredibly gracious of you,” he winked.
Once you both sat down, you settled into Bucky’s arms with a happy sigh. The scent of the hot chocolate drifting from the nearby mugs made your mouth water, and the crackling fire created a relaxing aura. You could fall asleep just like that, with your man holding you through the night until the morning came.
“So, snow falling outside, hot chocolate, snuggling in front of a fire,” you smiled, resting a hand on his chest. “A perfect winter evening?”
“Yeah,” he answered, gazing at you as you stared into the fire, his love for you as bright as the flames. “A perfect winter evening.”
This might be my last ficlet of 2024 and appreciate each and every one of you for indulging in my nonsense. ❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes#lumberjack!steve rogers#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#lumberjack!bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky fanfiction#bucky imagine#bucky au#bucky barnes fluff#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#james buchanan barnes#x reader#burly and bambi#james barnes x reader#the winter soldier#james bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky fluff
416 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Take My Hand" — Viktor x Y/N (Female)
English is not my first language. Feel free to comment on any of my mistakes and i will update the post, also I am more than happy to receive suggestions, and advice on how to improve my work.
— ! WARNING NSFW(+18): ! — Sexual themes, Alternate reality, Dancing, Drunk , Sex, Flirting, Making out, Teasing, Vaginal.
— Word count: — 3.0k (Full uncut version on AO3)
The streets of Zaun buzzed with a unique energy that night. At Heimerdinger’s Zaunite academy, the halls that usually hummed with the clatter of experiment trays and whirring mechanisms were abandoned. Students and teachers alike had migrated to the glowing venue lit by an array of green and blue chem-lights. They swayed to music that rattled through makeshift speakers.
Y/N stood by the edge of the crowd, leaning against a post with her hands fidgeting at the hem of her simple, black dress. She had spent the better part of the evening people-watching. Powder and Ekko spun together in the center of the dance floor.
“Why aren’t you dancing?” — came a familiar, soft-spoken voice from beside her.
Y/N turned to find Viktor standing there, an almost shy tilt to his smile. He was dressed a little neater than his usual grease-smeared lab coat, though his cane and posture still set him apart from the crowd. A lock of brown hair fell across his forehead, and his golden eyes shone in the shifting light.
“I could ask you the same thing,” — Y/N teased, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m observing,” — he replied, slipping into his characteristic thoughtful tone. — “There’s... a beauty in the chaos. Don’t you think so?” Y/N chuckled. — “That’s one way to look at it. Though I think most people would call it a party.”
“And yet, you’re here, on the outskirts. Much like me.” — Viktor said softly, now closer to her ear. Her smile softened at his perceptive words.
Viktor always saw through the surface, always seemed to understand her in ways few others did. He had become more than a lab partner during their time at the academy. He was a confidant, an intellectual equal, and perhaps something more.
Before she could respond, Powder’s laughter erupted again, louder this time, drawing their attention. Ekko had twirled her, sending her braids flying as she stumbled with giddy delight. The scene pulled a smile from Y/N, and even Viktor’s lips quirked upward.
“You know,” — Y/N said, her voice gaining a teasing edge, — “if we’re going to stay here analyzing the ‘beauty of the chaos,’ we might as well join in.”
Viktor’s golden gaze met hers, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his expression. —“Dancing was never a skill I cultivated.”
“It’s not about skill,” — Y/N replied, holding out a hand. — “Come on, I will guide you…”
He hesitated only a moment before placing his hand in hers. His grip was warm and slightly calloused, a reminder of hours spent tinkering in the lab. She led him to the edge of the dance floor, where they found a pocket of space just big enough for the two of them. The music was slower now, a dreamy, lilting melody that seemed to wrap around them.
Their movements were awkward at first. Viktor shifted his weight uncertainty, his cane tapping against the floor in a hesitant rhythm as he tried to find his footing. Y/N, attuned to his unease, kept her movements slow and deliberate, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder to guide him without imposing. Her other hand held his gently, touch warm and steady, like a lifeline.
“It’s just us,” — she said happily, her voice barely audible above the music. — “No one’s watching.”
Viktor glanced down at her, his golden eyes searching her face for reassurance. He exhaled slowly, nodding, and allowed himself to relax just a fraction. Y/N adjusted her position slightly, mindful of the weight he shifted onto his cane. She kept their steps simple, matching his pace and making sure to move with him rather than against him.
It wasn���t long before they found a rhythm, a tentative, almost fragile harmony at first, but one that grew stronger with each passing moment. Viktor followed her lead with quiet determination, his steps gaining confidence as the music wrapped around them. Y/N’s movements remained fluid and patient, every motion imbued with a tenderness that spoke of her deep care for him.
She offered a small, encouraging smile, and Viktor returned it, his golden eyes bright as the prettiest constellation in the night sky, a soft laugh escaping him. — “You’re remarkably good at this,” he admitted, voice tinged with both admiration and surprise.
“Good at what?” — she teased, her gaze twinkling. — “Dancing? Or making sure you don’t trip?”
“Both,” — he said, his tone warm and self-deprecating.
Y/N laughed, her fingers briefly tightening around his hand. — “You’re doing great, Viktor. Better than you think.”
They continued to sway, their movements becoming more natural as they settled into the music. The chem-lights around them painted their faces in shifting shades of blue and green, lending the moment an almost dreamlike quality. Y/N’s attention remained pointedly on him, her every step and shift an unspoken promise to keep him steady, to make this moment as effortless for him as possible.
And somewhere amidst the rhythm of their shared steps, Viktor let go of his apprehension, his focus shifting entirely to her. The world around them blurred, the thrumming bass and laughter
of the crowd fading into the background. In that moment, there was only Y/N. Her gentle smile, her steady guidance, and the warmth of her hand in his.
The song ended, and the crowd cheered, but Y/N barely noticed. Viktor leaned closer, his voice low. — “Would you like some air? This place is... quite warm.”
She nodded, suddenly aware of the heat rising in her cheeks. — “Yeah. Let’s go.”
They stepped out into the cool Zaunite night, where the hum of the city was a softer echo of the celebration inside. Viktor led her to a quiet alley, where the faint glow of the lights still painted the walls in hues of green and blue. Turning towards her, his expression was more serious now, though his gaze held that same warmth she’d come to cherish.
“You’re incredible, you know,” — he said softly, the words tumbling out like they had been waiting for this moment. — “Not just in the lab. The way you see the world, the way you make it brighter. I... I admire you more than I can put into words.”
Y/N’s breath hitched. She stepped closer, her heart pounding in her chest. — “Viktor...”
He closed the distance between them, his movements hesitant, as though afraid he might break the moment. When their lips met, it was soft and tentative.
Viktor’s fingers brushed her cheek timid but deliberate, his thumb tracing the faint curve of her jaw. — “You’re... mesmerizing,” — he murmured, his voice low and rough, like a secret meant only for her.
Her breath caught at the raw honesty in his tone. Without thinking, she closed the small gap between them again, her lips meeting his in a kiss that was deeper, more insistent than before. Viktor hesitated for a fraction of a second before leaning into her, his hand sliding into her hair as he returned her fervor.
The kiss intensified, and Y/N pressed closer, her fingers tangling in the fabric of his shirt. She could feel the faint tremor in his touch, the careful control he always carried giving way to something more passionate. His cane slipped slightly as he adjusted his stance, and Y/N instinctively steadied him, hands gripping his waist as if anchoring him to her. “Sorry,” — he murmured against her lips, a faint chuckle escaping him.
“Don’t be,” — she whispered, her voice soft yet firm. —“I’ve got you.” Her reassurance seemed to embolden him. Viktor’s free arm slipped around her back, drawing her flush against him. The cool night air was a sharp contrast to the heat blooming between them, their breaths mingling in the narrow space they left between kisses. Their foreheads touched as a faint cheer erupted from the party nearby, reminding them of where they were.
“I believe we might be missed,” — he murmured, brushing a strand of her hair back.
Y/N grinned, her lips still tingling. — “Then we should make an appearance, shouldn’t we?”
With a nod, Viktor stepped back, and together they returned to the party. The music had shifted to a livelier tune, Powder and Ekko still at the center of it all, their laughter echoing above the beat. Y/N and Viktor wove through the crowd, the vivid energy brushing past them as they made their way to the bar set up in one corner of the room.
The bartender, a Zaunite teen you had meet in the academy as he studied mixology, you knew him for his friendly grin and a knack for mixing drinks. — “What’ll it be?”— The young man asked. “Something simple,” — Y/N said with a smile, glancing at Viktor —“Two ales?”
Viktor nodded, his lips curving into a small smile. — “Up to you.”
Two mugs of amber ale were slid across the counter. Y/N picked hers up, taking a long sip, the slightly bitter, malty flavor a welcome contrast to the sugary concoctions often found at parties like this. Viktor took a more measured sip, his expression thoughtful as he savored the drink.
“It’s good,” — he said, sounding almost surprised.
“Told you,” — Y/N replied, nudging her shoulder with his.
They found a quieter spot near the edge of the crowd, their shoulders brushing as they watched the festivities. Powder had dragged Ekko into another wild spin, her energy uncontainable, while others clapped and cheered them on, even the professor was there having a blast watching his young brilliant inventors.
“It’s nice,” — Y/N said after a moment, her voice softer. — “Seeing everyone like this. Happy, carefree for a change.”
Viktor nodded, though his gaze was fixed on her rather than the crowd. — “It is. Though I admit, I find the quieter moments more... meaningful.”
She looked up at him, catching the warmth in his eyes, and felt her cheeks flush. —“Me too,” — she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
The warmth of the ale in her chest mixed with the gentle buzz of his presence beside her. After a moment, she tilted her head toward him, a playful smile curving her lips. — “What do you say we finish these and find somewhere quieter?”
He raised an eyebrow. — “Are you suggesting an escape?”
“Maybe” ——
The door creaked open, a loud bang echoing through the halls.
The small room was dimly lit, a single lamp casting a soft yellow glow over the cluttered desk and neatly made bed. Then it clicked shut behind them, as the air between them shifted, the lingering alcohol stripping away the last of their hesitations.
Y/N turned to Viktor, her back against the door. — “Finally,” — she breathed, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Their lips met again, and this time there was no hesitation, no careful deliberation. The kiss was deep and unrestrained, their pent-up longing spilling over as their hands roamed freely. Y/N’s fingers found the buttons of his shirt, fumbling slightly as she worked to undo them. Viktor’s hands slid down her sides, his touch firm yet reverent, as though he couldn’t believe she was truly here with him.
His shirt fell open, revealing the lean lines of his torso, and Y/N’s hands traced the contours of his skin, her touch igniting a fire wherever it landed. Viktor let out a soft groan, his head dipping to press kisses along her jaw and down the column of her neck. Her breath hitched as his lips found a sensitive spot, and she tilted her head to give him better access.
Her own dress was next, the fabric slipping from her shoulders and pooling at her feet. Viktor’s golden eyes roamed over her, his breath catching as he took her in.
Y/N tugged him closer, her lips finding his again as they stumbled toward the bed. They fell onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs, their kisses growing hungrier, more urgent.
Her response was a soft gasp as his hand found her bare thigh, his touch firm yet careful, as though he was savoring every moment. She pushed herself up slightly, her eyes meeting his as she began to undo the belt of his trousers. He stilled for a moment, watching her with a mixture of awe and vulnerability, before his hands came up to cover hers, guiding her movements.
They worked together to shed the rest of their clothes, their touches growing bolder, their kisses more demanding as each layer was discarded. When they were finally skin to skin, Viktor hesitated, his golden eyes searching hers.
Y/N cupped his face, her thumb brushing over his cheekbone. — “I’ve never been more sure of anything,” — she whispered back, her voice steady and filled with conviction.
He allowed himself a genuine smile that melted her heart, before leaning down to kiss her again.
Viktor’s hand slid down to the curve of your thigh, lifting it gently to wrap around his waist. His other hand steadied himself as he shifted his weight, positioning himself between her legs. The heat of him made her breath hitch, silently urging him closer.
“Plea-ase,” — she whispered, your voice breathy, laced with longing.
Viktor’s control snapped. He pushed forward with a deliberate, smooth motion, the head of his length pressing into her, filling her inch by inch. The stretch of him sent a sharp thrill through her, her body arching instinctively to meet his. A soft gasp escaped both of them as he fully seated himself inside her, his forehead coming to rest against hers.
“You don’t have to be gentle…” — she murmured. — "I like it as rough as you can be..."
"O-Ok" — Viktor groaned low in his throat, his hands gripping her waist as he began to move. His thrusts started slow, deliberate, each one igniting a spark that built into a flame. The rhythm of his hips soon grew more urgent, matching the way her body responded to him, her moans filling the air between them. — “Y/N,” — he whispered, his voice strained with effort and desire.
He pressed kisses along her neck, his lips lingering at her pulse point, where her racing heartbeat betrayed her pleasure.
She ran her fingers along his back, her nails grazing his skin as his movements became deeper, more insistent. His cane clattered to the floor, forgotten, as his focus remained solely on her.
The world around them disappeared, leaving only the two of them locked in a shared rhythm. Viktor’s lips found hers again in a kiss that was messy and desperate, their bodies moving in perfect sync. His thrusts grew harder, faster, her moans mingling with his as the tension inside her built to a breaking point.
When his hand slipped between their bodies, his fingers finding the sensitive bundle of nerves at her core, she cried out his name. The pleasure overwhelmed her, her body trembling as waves of ecstasy crashed over.
His movements faltered, his body tensing as he groaned her name in return. His release followed, his hips jerking as he spilled into her, the heat of him filling her completely. He buried his face against her shoulder, his breaths ragged as the two of them trembled in the aftermath, still entwined.
The room was quiet now, save for the sound of their breathing and the distant hum of the city beyond. Viktor lifted his head, his golden eyes soft as they met hers. His hand brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his touch lingering.
The afterglow wrapped them in a warm, quiet cocoon, the kind where the world outside ceased to exist. Viktor rolled onto his side, pulling Y/N with him beneath the blanket they had hastily tugged up to cover their bare bodies. The fabric was soft and warm, a barrier between them and the cool air of the room.
Her body molded perfectly against his, skin to skin, their breaths slowing as the tension faded into a deep, shared comfort. Y/N traced idle circles on his chest with her fingertips, her touch light and soothing. Viktor hummed at the sensation, his arms wrapped securely around her, anchoring them both in this fragile, intimate moment.
“Tonight was … incredible, you truly are one of a kind,” — she whispered, her voice soft but filled with emotion.
His lips pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, his golden eyes heavy-lidded but adoring as they met hers. — “And you,” — he murmured, his tone carrying a mix of awe and gratitude, — “you’ve made me feel... whole.”
She smiled, nuzzling into his chest. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, neither needing to speak, simply content in each other’s presence.
Then, a soft, scrabbling noise broke the silence. Y/N stiffened for a moment before a chuckle bubbled up in her throat.
“Oh no,” — she said, her voice filled with amusement.
Before Viktor could ask, a small, fuzzy creature leaped up onto the bed. Her poro, a round, fluffy ball of enthusiasm, bounded over the blanket and started sniffing curiously at the new presence.
“Is this...?” —Viktor began, but he didn’t get to finish. The poro, clearly delighted, jumped onto Viktor’s chest and started licking his face with unrestrained enthusiasm.
“Ah! Hey !” — he exclaimed, laughing as the poro’s tiny tongue covered his cheek. He tried to fend it off with one hand while keeping the blanket modestly draped with the other.
Y/N couldn’t stop laughing, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she watched the usually composed Viktor flail under the tiny, relentless attacker. — “I think she likes you,” —she teased, reaching out to scoop the poro up. The creature chirped happily, snuggling into her arms but keeping its bright, beady eyes fixed on Viktor, as though sizing him up for future antics.
Viktor wiped his face with the edge of the blanket, his laughter subsiding into a soft smile. — “I’m glad to have made such an impression,” —he said dryly, though the warmth in his gaze betrayed how much he enjoyed the moment.
Y/N leaned in to kiss his cheek, her lips brushing the spot where the poro had been. — “She knows a good one when she sees it,” — she whispered, her voice tender.
The poro settled between them as if declaring itself part of their little haven, its contented purring filling the room.
“Barely a moment’s peace,” — he joked, though his tone was light and filled with affection.
Y/N grinned, resting her head against his shoulder. — “Wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
523 notes
·
View notes
Text
Zutara, romance novels, and the female gaze
Okay so I’ve been thinking about the female gaze a LOT so I checked out a subreddit about romance novels, despite never having read one. I came across this meme (which was initially a Tumblr post and then got posted to Instagram and then to Reddit and I’m now bringing back to Tumblr — Internet telephone, pls never change):
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/574b73f221086b86cc379838ed3d494c/b120ca091e7d3657-e3/s540x810/72edfdd60ee23f7dd05fbeb638e1eaaa3c1c2806.webp)
And…what is The Southern Raiders, if not a platonic grovel? Katara’s pain is central to the episode. It’s central to Zuko. Zuko asks Katara what he can do to make up for his betrayal; she demands the impossible. He reads between the lines, cockblocks her brother to get the necessary information, and then waits outside her door overnight (which he also did for Iroh, the one person we know for sure he loves). He basically makes himself a receptacle for her rage, and he holds space for her by coming with her on her revenge quest and carrying their bags and not saying a damn thing about what she should and should not do beyond like…asking her to rest. And obviously the grovel works! She forgives him and then they’re thick as thieves, bantering and fighting and saving each other’s lives, etc.
On a different note, I’ve been told that enemies to lovers is one of the biggest tropes in romance novels, similar to YA lit and fanfic. Here’s something else I found in the romance novel discourse:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/44176b53aa3b2cc81fb0fb84cd6f81a4/b120ca091e7d3657-ff/s540x810/f428e6bd5e451c1df920654ff4ca5bbeb250ebfd.jpg)
And…yeah. In TSR, Katara really does show Zuko her worst self, because she doesn’t feel the need to perform for him. She doesn’t feel the need to perform moral perfection OR cold blooded vengeance. She bloodbends in front of him and he just goes with it. She doesn’t kill Yon Rha and he just goes with it. He doesn’t treat her any differently afterwards. Maybe they talk about it off screen, but I kind of like the idea that they don’t, because Katara doesn’t need to explain anything. And it’s so interesting, because some people in the ATLA fandom have a totally different read on TSR. They think Zuko was encouraging Katara to get revenge (by what, keeping his mouth shut?), and that Aang is the one who acts as her moral compass. I believe that either Bryan or Mike said in the DVD commentary that Aang is the angel on her shoulder the entire time. And this interpretation does make sense if you see it from the male gaze, where Katara as an object of affection is acting in an angry, irrational, threatening way. But if you see it from the female gaze, you recognize that actually it’s probably the most emotionally taxing experience Katara has to go through, and she doesn’t owe it to be nice or perfect to anybody. Katara’s formative trauma literally comes to a head, and she has to make a decision — no, a discovery — about who she is in relation to the tragedy that defines her life and even her identity (as a waterbender, as a parentified child who becomes the mom friend, as a genocide victim), and she’s accompanied by someone who trusts her judgement and validates her feelings.
I’m not saying TSR is explicitly romantically coded, but when it conforms so well to romance novel tropes…is it any wonder that so many people thought “yes this is her man?” And then he takes lightning in the heart for her and reaches for her when he’s literally dying, I will never be normal about that either
#Zutara#Katara#Zuko#the southern raiders#Pro zutara#anti Bryke#I guess#I swear I’m not a Bryke anti but I feel like they just don’t get#The female gaze#and the fact that Zutara is so female gaze is kind of an accident and I find that fascinating#atla fandom critical#The southern raiders turned me into a Zutara shipper#one ep away from the finale#Zutara meta#My meta
2K notes
·
View notes