#and then within like 3 days she's lost her entire family

[shyvioletcat]

Happy Holidays @mariaofdoranelle ! Sorry this is on the late side, I over extended myself and work was cruelly hectic and I’m currently on a cruise and miscalculated my days that I’d have reception. That being so, I can promise you that this will be a three part series, parts 2 and 3 coming to you in the early new year. Enjoy!

~~~~~

Rowan sat at the very end of the wooden slat bleachers that overlooked the polished dance floor. His daughter was out there with her brown hair in a doughnut shaped bun on top of her head, wearing a pink leotard and a floaty wrap skirt. Ivy was the ideal picture of a ballerina in training, her wide green eyes wide and attentive, taking in everything her teacher was saying. Arms poised, knees bent, she was ready to mimic the steps as best as her 4 year old coordination would allow.

Although Rowan couldn’t hear what was being said, he had a hard time keeping his eyes off the teacher too. Miss Aelin, as the students referred to her, was dressed similarly to the group of girls lined up in front of the mirror, except her outfit was black and she wore her long golden hair in a high ponytail. She was a stunning woman, graceful and elegant as she helped her students rehearse for the end of year concert. There was genuine kindness shining through as she encouraged each one of them, it’s what made her such a good teacher. But that wasn’t what had him under her spell.

When Rowan walked into this dance studio nearly a year ago he had never expected to see his college flame ready to teach his daughter. Flame was a mild way of putting it. Aelin had come into Rowan’s life like a wildfire, merciless in the way she so easily consumed him entirely. They had been perfect for each other, compatible in the best kinds of ways. But in the end, their lives had taken them on different paths and they regrettably had to be mature adults and call their relationship to an end. That had been the most painful experience of Rowan’s life. Aelin had been the one that got away, and turned out he had been hers too. Life had taken them in such different directions and Rowan thought he’d be lucky to see her again. So when he saw her welcoming the students into the dance hall it had stopped him in his tracks, struck dumb like he had seen a ghost. Aelin had gone as pale as one, eyes darting between him and the little girl that held his hand.

Rowan had watched for a long moment as Aelin’s brain tried to piece the puzzle together, feeling too stunned to say anything himself. When the ability to speak returned the first thing he blurted out was “I’m divorced”. Aelin flushed pink but then laughed, a sound that had Rowan’s chest aching with how much he had missed that sound. Aelin had given him a wink and a quiet “thanks for letting me know” and then introduced herself to Ivy and went back to the rest of her students. After that first lesson Rowan had stayed after his ex-wife took Ivy home and the stories came out.

Once Rowan had left college in Terrasen he came back to Doranelle for work, then met Lyria not long after. They dated for a while, thought the next step was to get married and start a family. Turns out it wasn’t, they just weren’t working no matter how hard they tried. Parting on amicable terms they now coparented and made much better friends than spouses. Aelin had been on a whirlwind adventure travelling the world. She had eventually started working for her parents, but ended up feeling lost. So on a whim she booked a plane ticket for Doranelle and found a job working for the dance studio.

They hadn’t seen each other for six years and had lived such different and separate lives. But somehow within a few months they fell back into place so easily. Rowan had asked Aelin out on a date, taking it slow so they could get to know each other again, then within no time, that familiar wildfire was burning making the years scatter like ashes on the wind.

The only hiccup was Ivy, and not in an outright bad way. It wasn’t a great look for the dance teacher to be dating one of the dads and Ivy loved to dance so much they didn’t want to jeopardise that in any way. So Lyria knew, but Ivy didn’t, they would be telling her after the end of year Yulemas concert and Aelin was even considering quitting. Rowan didn’t want that, but they would work it all out in the new year.

“And one, two, and three.” Aelin's voice echoing in the dance space brought Rowan back to the present. The students spun a bit haphazardly, but Aelin didn’t scold them for their poor form, she just smiled and said, “like this.”

With the epitome of grace, Aelin spun, her golden hair swaying. Too easily Rowan could imagine his fingers entwined with those silky strands, fingers tangled as he—

Rowan stopped himself from taking that thought any further. This was not the time or place for such… imaginings. But watching Aelin’s hair sway on her exposed back, it was difficult not to.

“You’re drooling,” Lyria said from beside him, making Rowan jump. He had been watching Aelin so intently he hadn’t noticed anything else.

“Am not,” Rowan replied.

“Not literally, but figuratively? Absolutely,” Lyria teased as she stepped up into the bleachers to sit next to Rowan.

Rowan chuckled. Teasing them was one of Lyria’s favourite things to do, both he and Aelin had been hilarious victims of Lyria’s wit. “I’ll try and stop.”

That made Lyria snort. “Good luck with that. You’re smitten.”

He was. Completely and utterly.

“You’re free to go now,” Lyria said. The arrangement was that Rowan dropped Ivy off for dance and then Lyria picked her up. Usually he would leave, but tonight he was considering hanging around. With the busyness of rehearsals and preparing for the concert, he hadn’t seen Aelin much the past two weeks. And he missed her.

“Think I’ll hang around.”

Lyria didn’t say anything. She just gave Rowan a knowing look and a nudge on his knee with her’s. About 15 minutes later the class ended, and a chorus of voices sang out “thank you, Miss Aelin”. Before getting her bag, Ivy ran up to Aelin, hugging her around the hips before running away. Rowan saw Aelin’s expression soften and the affectionate gesture and the tinge of longing as she watched the girl move away. They both desperately wanted Ivy to know, and they only had to hold out a little longer.

“Da! Did you see me?” Ivy asked as she clambered up the benches to where her parents were sitting.

“Of course I did, little love,” Rowan replied. “You’re doing so well.”

Ivy beamed at him, making Rowan’s chest fill with a warm fuzzy feeling. His daughter was truly the light of his life.

“Come on, Ives, Da is busy,” Lyria said, taking Ivy’s duffle bag.

“He’s just sitting there,” Ivy pointed out.

“Not for long,” Lyria countered. “Say goodbye and he’ll see you Monday.”

Ivy launched herself into Rowan’s arms, squeezing him tight while saying goodbye. Rowan kissed her head and said his own goodbye, offering his daughter a wave back as she frantically waved at him until the last second. He turned his attention back to the dance floor, expecting to see Aelin either packing up or waiting for him, but the space was empty except for him. She must not have seen him unexpectedly staying behind. Knowing he didn’t have long before Aelin locked up, Rowan headed for her office. It was down a short hallway off the main dance space, and sure enough, he found her there leaning over to read some papers on her desk.

Rowan took a moment to admire the sight before him, the angle of Aelin’s body accentuating her long legs and dip of her waist. Her hair had fallen to the side, allowing him to admire her exposed back. Before he once again got too lost in his thoughts, he knocked on the open door, making Aelin startle.

“Rowan,” she almost gasped once she turned to see who had knocked. “What are you doing here? I was coming over later.”

Rowan strode into the room. “I missed you too much.”

Smirking up at him, Aelin said, “I tend to have that effect on people.”

Unable to wait any longer Rowan cupped Aelin’s cheeks and kissed her. Immediately Aelin melted into him, bringing her body flush with his. He couldn’t help himself, his hands roamed, feeling the warmth of Aelin’s skin through her thin leotard. When his thumbs skimmed the sides of her breasts and she whimpered into his mouth, Rowan’s tether snapped.

Nudging the chair out of the way with his foot, Rowan backed them up until Aelin’s thighs hit the desk. She didn’t need any encouragement to sit atop it, her knees widening so he could stand between them.

“I missed you, too,” Aelin murmured between kisses. “So much.”

Rowan’s response was to press their bodies closer, in a way that had Aelin moaning. His cock was hard, missing the memo that they were still in the dance studio.

“We should stop,” the rational part of Rowan’s brain voiced, even as the irrational part had him kissing Aelin harder.

It seemed rationality was becoming scarce because all Aelin did was bring him closer with her legs, grinding up the length of him. “Don’t stop. I need you.”

That request was more than enough for him. Rowan’s hands dragged down the front of Aelin’s body. It was too easy to pull down the thin leotard Aelin wore, exposing her breasts. Rowan took the weight of them in his hands, brushing his thumbs over the stiffening peaks. Aelin hissed through her teeth at the touch but when Rowan drew back to see if she was all right Aelin pulled him down by the collar of his button up.

“Just sensitive, don’t stop,” she breathed and then kissed him again.

Rowan wasn’t about to protest, and as Aelin got to work on his shirt his hands travelled down her body instead, fingers tracing the seam around her the top of her thighs. Then he slipped one finger beneath, then two, and held back his own moan when he felt the evidence of how ready she was for him.

“Fuck,” Rowan muttered, knuckles running along the seam of her stockings. “Aelin, I don’t know if I can wait.”

“I already told you not to stop.” Aelin emphasised her point by undoing his belt buckle and then the button on his pants. “So don’t.”

Before Aelin could distract him by getting her hands on him, Rowan hooked two fingers into the flimsy mesh of her stockings beneath her leotard and tugged. Hard. Just like he hoped the fabric tore and to finish the job he tucked the leotard to the side. Rowan ran his thumb through Aelin’s folds, circling her clit. Throwing her head back, she moaned as her hips rolled with the rhythm he was setting. Then she reached for his cock and pulled it out without hesitation.

“No playing, I need you now,” Aelin urged.

With a kiss Rowan pulled Aelin to the edge of the desk and then lined him up with her entrance. He pushed the tip in, he always loved the first few moments of coming together. But Aelin was obviously feeling impatient, and Rowan wasn’t doing much better, so with a steadying hand on her hip he slid in all the way.

“Oh gods,” Aelin panted, the hand in his hair tightening. “You feel so fucking good.”

Rowan rolled his hips, pressing himself that fraction deeper, Aelin’s whimper of pleasure had his cock twitching. With her teeth sunk into her bottom lip she moaned as Rowan began to thrust in and out. He wanted to pull that lip free, to let all the delicious noises Aelin made come out unhindered, but he still had enough awareness to realise they were in public. Even though he was sure they were entirely alone, he also didn’t want to risk drawing attention to their location. Later he’d have her splayed out in his bed and she could scream as loud as she wanted.

Aelin clung to him as Rowan set a steady rhythm. Wanting access to her neck, his hands slid up her back, stopping when his fingers were tangled in Aelin’s hair. He tugged, Aelin’s head falling back with that encouragement, then he was pressing open mouthed kisses up the length of her neck. Needing more, Aelin worked her hands between them, shuddering as her fingers brushed her clit.

“Good girl, giving yourself what you need,” Rowan praised.

That had Aelin trembling right before her muscles locked. “Rowan, I’m gonna—“

Her moan was low, rumbling from deep in her throat, Rowan felt it with his lips pressed to Aelin’s skin. All the pressure in her body snapped, her hips undulating as she rode his cock, drawing out the waves of her orgasm. Feeling Aelin’s body respond to the pleasure he was giving and she was taking had Rowan’s own climax breaking, thrusting hard as he spilled into her.

They shared sweet kisses once their bodies had stilled, stopping once their smiles made it impossible for their lips to touch.

“Can I take you home?” Rowan asked once they tidied up and were presentable. At least the best they could be. The hole Rowan had tore in Aelin’s stocking gaped at the very top of her thigh, with her still perched on the desk it was hard not to look at it and admire his handiwork.

Aelin noticed when his gaze had locked, a delicious shade of pink flushing her cheeks. To save the both of them from making another questionable choice, she hopped off the desk and let her skirt fall around her thighs.

With a hand on his chest Aelin rose up on her toes and pressed a kiss to Rowan’s cheek. “I couldn’t think of anything I want more.”

~~~~~

[rotisseries]

i love vander truly i do but when i think about the fact he gave vi every complex she's got i get a little upset with him

[dlxxv-vetted-donations]

Oct 19 done laptop goal, campaign could use more support.

See this post and my rb here

Laptops are nearly indespensible in modern education, which treats it as a given that all students have one.

Have you ever needed to do schoolwork with only a phone? If not, I can tell you from experience that it's inefficient and really fucking sucks!

Reema's an evacuated Palestinian studying pharmacy in Egypt, and this is what she's been going through for an entire month because she lost her laptop in Gaza.

If you cannot fathom the horror of surviving a genocide, then try relating to this: She's currently trying to study for multiple chemistry midterms on a phone. One of them is medicinal chemistry, which is considered even harder than organic chemistry (which I've heard is notoriously bad).

This is happening while her sister was very recently hospitalized and her family had to pay it off with funds from their budget. She's worried about her sister's condition, her family members still in Palestine, her uncertain financial state, and much more.

We can ease her stress a little by getting her a laptop to study with, and I'd like to get this done by Oct 20.

@reemagaza / Operation Olive Branch #18 / more details / gfm: Credit/debit / Paypal: my Kofi, I'll donate whatever Paypal doesn't take and post proof of donation within 3 days under the 'receipts' tag.

Random tags | I'd appreciate a share/donate | msg me here or at dlxxv-vetted-donations2 (if this blog's msgs are closed) for removal from tag list

@farmageddonlove @yurideification @jonahmagnus @r0semultiverse @transhitman

@eleftheriance @urlocalwalmartcryptid @this-whole-situation @bixels @elioneli

@jewishdainix @ororomunroedontpullout @sunflowervol69 @loveaankilaq @vague-humanoid

[leascorner]

b.b. | With child

Summary: He was so absorbed by his own created misery; he hadn’t actually thought about what you could be thinking. How hard was it for you to congratulate all of your friends on their pregnancy, to watch over all of his nieces and nephews? It was all within easy reach and never really yours.

Pairing:  Benedict Bridgerton x f!reader

Warnings: angst ('cause I can't write anything else), alluding to sex (no description whatsoever), discussions around pregnancy, pregnancy, mention of alcohol.

Words Count: 2.1k

Author's Notes: Had this in the work for the longest time. I was actually thinking to publish it for his season (#4 I hope!). But we got new stills of Season 3 and it's nearly Valentine's Day so... Enjoy!

“Are you-” you asked when you noticed your sister-in-law had let her glass of wine and her plate untouched.

Your words stayed lost on your tongue, yet Daphne, sat in front of Benedict and next to you, knew exactly what you were about and nodded slightly, tears in her eyes. You let out a small cry of excitement and leant in to hug her. While you wore the most delighted expression, Benedict’s heart sunk a little at the news.

His sister was with child. Again. She was the second women of his family to be expecting this year, while he had yet an exciting news to share himself.

You both had wed a little over than a year and a half ago now and were yet to be blessed with a child. You were doing your best, of course, but none your efforts had been fruitful so far. Benedict did not mind; he had waited his whole life to meet you, he definitely could wait a little bit longer.

He did not mind, or so he thought…

Tonight, he thought life was particularly unfair to him. Every pregnancy announcement was only nourishing this harrowing feeling in his chest. All he could feel was his siblings’ bliss and it made him sick to the stomach. Yes, he was sick with jealousy - and ultimately selfish. He just couldn’t wait to feel your belly growing, to hold your children, to watch them playing around with their cousins, for them to grow older and become adults themselves. Just this simple thought made his very own heart felt extremely heavy.

Politely and quietly, he raised his glass wishing his sister a healthy pregnancy, before drinking away his sorrow.

The ride home that night was particularly quiet.

Silence had never been a thing between the two of you. Benedict was usually the most talkative, telling you about his days, about whatever painting he was going to paint, about that book he had been reading. You would listen, looking back at him with your big bright eyes and a soft smile onto your lips. Other times, he would watch you pacing back and forth in his study while passionately debating about politics. He would be drawing imaginary circles on your soft skin as you were lying in bed, you telling him about another one of your days chaperoning one of his sisters. He would listen to your laugh at one of his jokes. Even your fights would be followed by soft apologies, quiet words, whimpers, and love.

On the contrary, that night, the air was thick with something he couldn’t quite describe, and the coach was wrapped up in dark clouds, a genuine storm in the awakening. Sat on the opposite side, you were looking through the window, your face only light up by the few shines of the full moon. Benedict was so focused on his own thought that he didn’t realize you hadn’t had a word for the rest of the night.

He was so absorbed by his own created misery; he hadn’t actually thought about what you could be thinking. How hard was it for you to congratulate all of your friends on their pregnancy, to watch over all of his nieces and nephews? It was all within easy reach and never really yours. It only made him angrier at the entire world. Why couldn’t they let you live this as well?

He would have liked to discuss this with you - his regrets, his hope - but he was too afraid you would realize what a failure he was. How disappointed with him you were. How you would hate him for not being able to offer you this. So, he sat back in his seat and watched out of his own window.

When the coach stopped in front of your residence, Benedict got out first, offering his hand to help you getting down the small step like he always did. You smiled at him, thanking him politely, and let go of his hand as soon as your two feet were on the ground. It didn’t mean anything, he tried to reassure himself, you needed both of your hands to grab the tissue of your dress to prevent the hem from getting wet and dirty. Yet, he couldn’t help the sharp pain in his chest.

Silently, he followed you inside, hat in his hands, jaw locked. You were welcomed as usual by your housemaid, who got both of your coats and stayed there, in the uncomfortable silence, arms full, waiting for one of you to dismiss her. As you took off your gloves and didn’t dare look at Benedict, he nodded sharply to let her know she could go and watched her somehow disappear in an instant.

Suddenly, it was only the two of you again and it was all too much for him. He couldn’t breathe properly; his chest being crushed by the invisible weight of his sorrow. He couldn’t bare staying with you one more second. He needed to get out of here.

“Good night,” he said firmly, before walking to his study.

Would he have looked back he would have seen you watching him disappear in the corridor. You, all alone in the middle of the hall, arms dangling. He would have seen the frown on your face and the hurt in your eyes. Would he have looked back he would have run back to your side. Instead, he did none of that. He continued marching, head up high, trying to escape his own misery.

You sighed before turning in the opposite direction and to your shared bedroom.

Benedict went to bed less than an hour after you.

He had been haunted by guilt as soon as he had reached his study, sadness evaporating once he had stepped inside the room. Instead of turning back and chasing after you, he had tried to put his head in order. He then had tried painting whatever he was feeling, but he could only stay in front of his white canvas, terrified of laying his brush on the cotton. He had tried writing it, but he couldn’t concentrate enough; his thoughts always drifting to you, alone in your bedroom. He had then settled on having a drink to wait long enough for you to fall asleep before he could go to bed - his other option would have been to sleep in his study if he got too drunk, which he did not.

He had thought long about the whole situation. It wasn’t like you were not trying. Sometimes, even with doing the right things, it didn’t happen. He would need to accept this. And he couldn’t continue being a terrible husband. It wasn’t your fault; it wasn’t anybody’s fault actually. What he knew more than anything though was that he loved you. Whatever would happen, he could not afford to lose you.

He had decided he would come clean tomorrow, but for now, he only wanted to sleep with you by his side.

In the dark of your room, Benedict undressed and lied besides you as silently as possible.

All he could hear was your uneven breathing; whatever dream you were having did not seem to be pleasant. He reached out to your arm, hoping that you could feel his presence through his touch and know he would always be there for you.

It wasn’t until your body was rocked by a hiccup that he understood that you were not having a bad dream, you were crying.

“Y/N?” he asked, lying on his side to face your back.

“I am so sorry,” your voice was only a whisper.

He gently made you roll on your side. Even in the dark, his right hand was able to find your face and his thumb to rub the tears away. Before he could ask what was wrong, you spoke:

“I am so-” You chocked on – yet – another sob and it took you a couple of seconds to even out your breathing so you could speak properly: “So sorry- for not being able to get you- get you what you ever wanted.”

“My love,” he sighed, grabbing the back of your neck to bring you closer. Instinctively, you hide your face in his chest, and he started stroking your hair to try and calm you. “My love, do not ever feel guilty on this.”

“I have tried every tea, every method that is supposed to help,” you cried some more.

It broke his heart to realize the burden on your heart - of course, if he was feeling it, you would have too. He finally understood how selfish he had been, how centred on his own pain he was and so oblivious to yours. It had never been a subject between the two of you, but it was slowly crushing you both.

“My love, this is not your fault.”

“You don’t see the pity in their eyes. You don’t hear them whisper.” You sniffled against his chest, arms wrapped around his waist. “We are even blessed Lady Whistletown has not written about us.” He heard the frustration in your voice and the ton of it made him understand how you had tried to suppress the guilt but failed. It pained him that out of all of this, it was you who were the one being charged guilty by everyone - you included. As if you couldn’t imagine it being his own fault. As if you couldn’t imagine it being anyone’s fault but yours.

“Perhaps, I-” he stopped, running a hand through his hair out of frustration. “I drink loads of Colin’s stupid tea; I paint with all sorts of chemicals substance. Perhaps, I can’t-”

“Ben, of course, no!”        

“Perhaps we won’t ever-” he confessed, but he couldn’t even say it out loud. It was all too much.

You moved against him, and he felt both of your hands grabbing his face, your forehead resting again his. He felt your hot breath against his skin, and he hugged you tighter, crushing your bones, making sure you were close.

He had you, he kept repeating himself. It was all that mattered. Of course, it was a dear wish of his to see mini versions of yourselves running around, but not at all costs. He wasn’t willing to sacrifice what you both had, right here, right now.

“We are both healthy, it is more than all I could ever wish for.”

“Will this ever be enough for you, though?” you asked so quietly he nearly did not hear you.

Benedict frowned. Was it really what you thought? That he would leave you? That your own self was not enough for him? He had been an even more terrible husband he had thought to lead you thinking this. He had failed you on so many levels.

“I was so absorbed by my own desire of having my own family,” he whispered back like he was telling you a secret, “I never asked if you also desire to have children of your own.”

“Ben, of course, I want your children!”

Benedict wanted to express how grateful he was to have you in his life, but no words came to his mind at that moment. He only reached out to your lips, trying to express how much he loved you.

If he could not tell you, he could still show you…

Hours later, while you were lying in bed, your head on Benedict’s chest, his left hand drawing invisible love words on your back and the other holding you close, he thought that there was nothing else he would like to do than stay with you, like this, forever.

“We should just take some time away from here.”

“What do you mean? The season only began-”

“To hell with worldliness. Some time away, just the two of us.” The sun was slowly peeking through the blinds, its yellow light was painting on your naked skin a glowy spectrum. “I heard South of France is particularly beautiful, this time of the year.”

Your chin on his chest, you looked back at him, eyes bright. He was looking at you the same way you had catch him do a million time: a soft smile on his lips, his eyes filled of this spark, shinning only for you. You didn’t care how beautiful France would be, he was the most beautiful view you had ever laid eyes on.

His hand brushed some hair out of your face, and you grabbed it to kiss his knuckles.

“France, it is then.”

Little did you know, you would be coming back home a few months later, bearing your own little miracle.

One of the many to come.

[stevie-petey]

episode eight: the upside down

You know you shouldn’t, but you laugh. Honestly, after everything you’ve been through tonight with Steve, how can he possibly think the two of you aren’t friends? “Why are you laughing?” Steve mumbles, confused.  “Sorry,” you wheeze out, still uncontrollably laughing. “It’s just–I mean, dude! We almost died together, of course we’re friends now!” “We are?” He looks like a little kid on Christmas day being given the gift he’s always wanted. Your heart warms. “Yes, idiot.”

Summary: drinking game time ! take a shot every time jonathan tries ditching you or every time you almost die at the byers house, you find out that steve really is an athlete and tbh it's hot, but you know what's even hotter ? saving hawkins and reaching a tentative compromise with steve after he loans you $5 for snacks. after, jonathan makes a promise you really hope he can keep.

Rating: general, cursing and slight scary violence

Warnings: violence, use of fire and weapons, guns, use of fem!reader and use of y/n, slight mentions of blood and death

Words: 13.7k

Before you swing in: the final chapter ,,, my heart </3 please enjoy my child, i put so much into this chapter. action scenes scare me, they're hard and i'm weak, so i hope this lives up to everything you guys wanted n more ;) i cannot believe we're at the end (but i do have another chapter planned that's set in season 1, so shhhh). thank you so so so much for all your support. i never thought this silly lil fic would get that much attention, but i'm insanely flattered and grateful for each and every one of y'all. i'm so proud of what i've created and you guys are my beloveds ,,, anyways, enjoy !!!

-

You almost miss Jonathan and Nancy sneaking off. 

You had been explaining a comic book that had been in your bag to El when you noticed a shift in your periphery. Turning your head, you see Jonathan stand, offer Nancy his hand to help her up, and then walk towards the main doors together. 

What the fuck. 

“They wouldn’t dare…” You excuse yourself and run out the gym and into the hallway to follow them, absolutely furious. You’re so sick of their bullshit, of Jonathan’s bullshit and putting Nancy first. This isn’t even a petty jealousy thing, this is about the years of friendship between the two of you that has just suddenly disappeared within a damn week all due to circumstances completely out of your control. 

The slam of the main door is the only warning Jonathan gets before you’re yanking him by his coat and flinging him back, forcing him to look at you. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

You’ve never, ever yelled at him like this before. Not even earlier this week when he’d given you that bullshit apology after screaming at you for being in his room, for saying the two of you weren’t family. You didn’t yell at him for hiding Nancy’s pictures from you, for going off without you to find the monster. Despite everything, you’ve never been this cruel to him, even if he may have deserved it at times.

Jonathan’s wide eyes stare down at your hand that’s still clutched around his coat, frightened. “Bug, we were just–”

“Just what? Sneaking off without me?”

“It’s not like that, Y/N.” Nancy now steps in, her hands held up as if you’re some rabid dog she wants to calm down. “We just figured we’d help Joyce and Hopper.”

“‘We’? Are you fucking kidding me? You two talked about this, had an entire conversation, and still somehow came to the conclusion that ditching me was a great fucking idea?” You scoff, deeply hurt by the fact that the two of them had an entire conversation without thinking to include you in it. 

“Bug, can we talk about this one on one?” Jonathan asks, his voice lowered. You can see the genuine upset in his eyes and for a moment your grip on him lessens, but then you see Nancy behind him and your anger only returns. 

“No, we can discuss this right here.” 

He sighs and tries to grab the hand not clutching his coat, but you slap it away. “Bug–”

“You’ve lost that privilege.” 

“Bug–I mean, Y/N,” His voice falters. “Look, my mom and Hopper are out there right now trying to find Will while that monster is still out. Nance and I… We want to finish what we started.” 

“Without me?” You don’t mean for it to happen, but your voice catches at the end.

Jonathan’s gaze softens and this time he succeeds in grabbing your hand. You let go of him and allow him to pull you in, weak against him as always. “I’m doing this to protect them, to protect you, Y/N. I’m always trying to protect you. You know that, right?”

You used to think that you did, but now? You’re not so sure, and it terrifies you. 

Nancy has stepped away from the conversation, now kicking at rocks while you’re with Jonathan, and you can’t help but think about how wrong all of this feels. 

Throughout this entire week it’s felt like someone has given you a photo of Jonathan, smeared its lines and edges, removed his moles and his crooked smile and made it neater, altered so that if you squint you can see the boy you grew up with underneath it all… But it’s fuzzy, almost too unclear to really see. 

Now he’s standing in front of you, his smile once more crooked and cunning and his moles faded underneath the moonlight and for a second you can see him. There he is, clear and untouched and him in a way that’s never quite been yours.

“I know,” you tell him. “But how many more times do you expect me to forgive you for lying and ditching me? If you want to protect me, you need to talk to me.”

Jonathan winces. “I know, I know it sounds stupid and I know I’ve fucked up more than enough this week, I just get caught up in wanting to make sure you’re safe. It’d kill me if I let anything happen to you… I just, I can’t lose you, bug.”

“So pushing me away is your grand plan of keeping me?”

“I’ve always been an idiot.” He manages a smile, and you can’t help but laugh. 

“That’s true, but if you attempt to ditch me one more time I swear to god I’ll pour tar all over your car.”

The boy laughs and for a brief moment everything feels okay again, but it doesn’t last very long. “In our defense, we figured you’d be better off with the kids since you’re not really a fighter, ya know?” 

You drop his hand. “Excuse me?” 

Jonathan’s smile is gone. “What?”

“I’m not really a fighter? You’re kidding, right?”

“Hey, no I didn’t mean it like that–” Jonathan fumbles over his words, clearly taken aback by your sudden mood change. 

You step away from him. “How many times did I defend you against Lonnie? Better yet, remind me how we became friends in the first place. Wasn’t it because I threw milk at a bunch of idiots bullying you? Huh?”

“Y/N–”

“God, I can’t believe I almost let you get away with it again! I mean, do you even hear the bullshit that comes out of your mouth?” You deepen your voice, now doing a poor impersonation of him. “‘Hey, bug! You know I love you, right? Cool! Now, I’m gonna go do fuck all and ignore you and ditch you and then somehow turn it into me being a good guy because duh! I can never do any wrong!’”

“Please, just–”

“Did I get it right? It was a pretty good impersonation in my opinion. I mean, I am the one who has had to deal with this shit all fucking week. I think I'm an expert on this topic now.” 

Jonathan looks pained but you don’t fucking care anymore. You’ve reached your limit, you’re sick and tired of being treated like some delicate creature that’s incapable of taking care of itself. You literally slapped Tommy Hagan this afternoon in order to help Jonathan, yet here he is basically calling you weak. 

And yet Nancy is the fighter. She’s the one who gets to go along on the adventure while you’re sidelined because for some damn reason you’re always the second option. Never taking matters into your own hands, always the one left behind to clean up the mess and take care of those also discarded. 

You’re sick of it. 

You step closer to Jonathan again, so that you’re nose to nose, and whisper, “I’m tired of never being good enough.” 

And with that, you reach into his coat and snatch up his keys, a game you’ve always played with him but now has turned into a bitter taste in your mouth, and run back into the gym. Someone has to inform the kids of the plan, make sure they’ll be okay on their own. 

Dustin sees you approach and smiles, but when he notices the angry pace in your steps, he frowns. “Uh oh.”

“Yeah, uh oh.” 

“Jonathan again?”

You nod, still too angry to trust your words. “Yeah.” 

He notices the keys in your hand. “Where are you going?”

Mike and Lucas look over now, curious as to what’s happening. 

You sigh. “I’m going with Nancy and Jonathan to the Byers house, we’re going to kill the monster.” 

“Why the hell are you going?” Dustin exclaims while Mike shouts “sick!” and Lucas mumbles “great, alone again”. El remains quiet, still resting. 

You flick your brother’s hat. “I have to, Dustin.”

“For Jonathan?” He shakes his head. “I like him, but aren’t you mad at him right now?”

“Is it just me, or is she always mad at him these days?” Mike whispers over to Lucas, who simply shrugs. 

“Girls, man.” 

You ignore them and focus on Dustin. “It doesn’t matter. He needs my help, and no one in the party gets left behind. Remember?”

“Y/N–”

“I love you,” you kiss the top of his head. “I promise I’ll be safe, just be careful, okay? I’m putting you in charge, so don’t let me down. If everything goes according to plan, I’ll see you in a few hours tops!”

Dustin tries to argue some more, but you quickly run back outside before he can get another word in. You feel horrible leaving him behind, but you know this is the right decision. If you can kill the monster, there’s less of a chance of the kids or Joyce and Hopper getting hurt. Jonathan and Nancy may be fine on their own, but there’s always power in numbers and they’ll need all the help they can get. 

You just… you have to help. You know this is what you’re supposed to be doing, even if it pains you to do so. Dustin and the kids are smart; as long as they stay at the school, they’ll be fine. 

In theory, that is.

Nancy and Jonathan are waiting for you outside. You push past them and march towards Jonathan’s care; they awkwardly follow after you. You unlock it, throw yourself into the backseat, and promptly dig through your backpack to make sure you have everything. 

The two teens get in a few minutes after you. Not one word is spoken as Jonathan starts the car and the three of you drive off, leaving Hawkins Middle behind. 

– 

You thought the car ride with Nancy and Jonathan from the funeral home had been tense, but this one? Downright painful. 

Jonathan has a tight grip on the steering wheel and keeps trying to catch your eye through the rearview mirror but you avoid his gaze. You’ve spent the last five minutes arranging and rearranging your backpack to give you something to do while Nancy has tried three times to make conversation to make this car ride bearable. 

“El seems nice.” 

“You said four words to her, Nancy.” You retort, switching open your switchblade once more to watch the moonlight dance off of its blades. 

“Right.” 

Nancy shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat. You know she realizes she’s once again upset the balance in your relationship with Jonathan. It was only an hour ago that she tried getting you to admit your feelings for him before convincing the boy to up and leave you. Sure, Jonathan made his own decision in the end, but damn. She could’ve at least pretended to want you around. 

She notices your knives and tries to spark conversation again. “I love the color of the handle, it’s beautiful.” 

“Thanks,” you switch the blades closed and sit up in your seat. “Anyways, you geniuses have a plan or were you just counting on ditching me and winging it from there?”

“Y/N–”

“No, Nancy. I insist, let’s talk about a plan. We’re here to kill a monster, right?”

She closes her mouth and frowns, turning to Jonathan for help, but he’s no use. He’s busy tapping his fingers against the wheel and praying that the world will just swallow him up whole. Too bad for him you’re a stubborn pain in the ass and would simply pluck him back up so you can torture him some more. 

Nancy sighs. “Well, Jonathan and I were thinking we use the supplies we got earlier and lure the monster to his place, then we kill it.” 

“Awesome plan, guys!” You say, your voice dripping with sickly sweetness that leaves them both feeling even more uncomfortable. “But may I suggest some actual details or shall we just bank off of this wonderfully dull and vague plan?” 

“Sure, Y/N. Tell us what you had in mind.” Nancy rubs her face tiredly, knowing she deserves this. 

“Great! I’m assuming we’re luring the monster with blood?” They nod at you, so you continue. “Okay, so before we lure it I think we should completely booby-trap Jonathan’s house. Nail the bear trap down onto the floor, make sure the floor is cleared of anything that could trip us up. Then, once we’ve got the house secured, we knick ourselves to draw some blood and pray to whatever god is up there that we can kill the thing.” 

You pause for a moment, remembering how all the Christmas lights had been unscrewed by Joyce earlier. “The lights, we need to fix them. The monster communicates through the lights so if we have them, then we can track it.”

“That all sounds great, bug.” Jonathan finally speaks up, ass kissing. 

“Thanks, pal. Still don’t have the bug privilege back, but I’m sure you simply forgot.” 

He gulps, once more going back to being silent as he drives you and Nancy to his house. 

Nancy again tries to diffuse the tension. “How do we even kill the monster though? I mean, will my bullets be enough?”

“I have this idea, but it’s… well, it’s out there.” You bite your lip, now feeling your cocky demeanor slipping. “If we can safely set fire to it, I think that’s our best bet.”

“Fire?” Jonathan exclaims, but Nancy shushes him. 

“I think you’re right.” 

“Y/N, I know you’re mad at me but do we really have to set fire to my house–”

Now it’s your turn to shush Jonathan. “This isn’t about that. I wouldn’t burn your house down, I already told you I’d just pour tar on your car whenever I get the chance. For now, I really do think the best thing to do is burn the monster alive. In every horror movie and book, fire always gets the job done.” 

Despite herself, Nancy lets out a soft chuckle as Jonathan parks the car, now at his house. “She’s right, Jonathan. And who burns down houses these days? Tar really is the best form of revenge.” 

“I’m flattered, Wheeler. At the rate you’re going, you’ll be off my shitlist in no time.” You tell her, patting her on the shoulder before getting out of the car. You quickly open up the trunk and gather the monster hunting supplies while Jonathan and Nancy take their time getting out. 

You let yourself into the Byers home using your own key to the place. It’s been nestled in between the key to your house and the spare key to Jonathan’s car on your keychain for a few years now. 

The first thing you get started on are the lights. There’s hundreds of them to get through, but you drop your supplies and begin screwing them in one by one. Nancy and Jonathan come in soon after and silently begin to help. 

No conversation is made besides the necessary comments about the prep work. You’re all too focused on the possibility of what could happen next; the danger of the situation has finally set in. After the lights have all been fixed, you instruct Jonathan to begin nailing the bear trap down while you and Nancy discuss where to pour the gasoline. You both agree to make a path from the living room to Will’s room. 

As Nancy pours the gasoline, you follow behind her and pick up any flammables. You weren't lying to Jonathan earlier, you really don’t want to burn his house down. While the house is wrecked, it’s still a home despite everything that’s happened in it. You practically grew up within its walls, you’d do anything to keep it as protected as possible. 

When you’re done, you watch Nancy load her gun. A shiver runs down our spine; she looks at ease with it, which you figure should be reassuring, but the gravity of everything leaves you feeling on edge. You leave her alone and walk into the kitchen where Jonathan is, now hammering a ton of nails into his bat. 

You begin to sharpen your blades next to him, still finding that you only feel secure by his side. The rhythmic sound of his hammering calms you, in a sense. It serves as a distraction. You know you insisted on coming, you don’t regret it and you know you’re stronger than everyone seems to give you credit for, but you’re also terrified. This isn’t just some adventure in the woods; this could kill the ones you love dearly. 

Once you’re both done preparing your weapons, the two of you walk to Will’s room and rig up a simple snare. Jonathan grabs a yo-yo and you pull up a chair to set it on. The idea is that when the string gets pulled, it’ll alert you that the monster has sprung the bear trap. It’s not the most efficient warning system, but it’ll have to do. 

The last thing to do is set the bear trap, which takes all three of you to achieve. Jonathan and Nancy hold down the edges with their body weight and you very carefully set the trap with your hand. You shake a bit as you do so, but you force your nerves down. You remind yourself that Jonathan thinks you’re too weak, too cowardly, you have to prove him wrong. 

When the bear trap clicks into place, you let out a harsh exhale and sink against the wall, your heart still pounding. Jonathan and Nancy copy you and the three of you sit in silence. You’re still shaking a bit, and Jonathan is next to you just as tense, but for the first time since you’ve met him you can’t reach out to grab his hand to steady yourself. He’s too far, both literally and figuratively. Even with him next to you, you couldn’t be more far apart. 

In the back of your mind, you hope the kids are alright. Hopefully they’re having a better night than you currently are. 

“C’mon,” you say after a few minutes, getting up to walk over to the living room. “We’ve done all we can, now we just have to draw some blood and be the prettiest bait in Hawkins.”

– 

Nancy and Jonathan decide to cut the palm of their hands, but you respectfully would rather die than have a matching scar with them. The idea makes you so uncomfortable you visibly cringe when Jonathan tells you the idea. “Yeah, no thanks. I think I’ll find somewhere else to cut.” 

He looks hurt by what you’ve said but doesn’t voice it. Instead, the three of you stand in the living room in a triangle facing each other and he begins reciting the plan. “Remember…”

Nancy goes first. “Straight into Will’s room and–” 

“Don’t step on the trap.” You finish.

Jonathan nods. “And then?”

“Wait for the yo-yo to move.” The girl says. 

“Then…” Jonathan flicks the lighter on.

You whistle low. “Let there be light…” 

“Right. Light.” The boy nods again. “Alright, we ready?”

“Ready.”

“Scar time.” 

Jonathan and Nancy bring their hands up and place their knives flat against their palms. You roll up your sleeve and place your own knife against the upper part of your arm, just below your shoulder, and take a deep breath. 

“On three,” Jonathan says. He begins counting and you all can’t seem to stop shaking. He senses your unease and looks up at you and Nancy. “You guys don’t have to do this.”

Nancy glares at him, her own voice shaky. “Jonathan, stop talking.”

You nod. “Yeah, what she said.”

Jonathan tries to argue, but Nancy squeezes her eyes shut and yells, “Three!”

You close your own eyes and slice at your arm, the pain immediate. You gasp out, never having been good with pain, but you know you have to do this for Will. The blood trails down your arm, dripping from your elbow onto the ground, and you watch as blood from Jonathan’s and Nancy’s own cuts falls onto the ground too. 

Well, at least it’ll be an easy scar to hide compared to theirs. 

“Fuck, that stings.” You say to break the silence, and Nancy nods her head in agreement. 

“Not the most pleasant feeling.” 

Jonathan guides the two of you over to the couch and grabs the first aid kit that you had prepared on the coffee table. He sits in the middle, leaving room for both you and Nancy on each side of him, but you’re still pissed at him and opt to sit on the floor in front of the couch.

Nancy begins to patch up his wound, and it takes everything within you not to reach over and help him yourself. It feels unnatural to watch someone else taking care of him, but the space between you still feels too vast to cross. 

You patch up your own cut while the two of them talk quietly. You wind a bandage tight around your arm, ensuring you won’t bleed through, and Jonathan watches above you with guilt in his eyes. Nancy is trying to reassure him that everything will be okay, but as he watches you struggle to tie the bandage he wonders if he’s fucked up more than just your friendship.

“Bug, let me help with that.” He leans down and ties your bandage before you can stop him. 

You glare at him, still having not said anything to Jonathan besides what was needed for preparation. Nancy distracts herself by cleaning up around his cut and your stomach twists into knots. This is all so miserable. 

“Y/N, I know you’re upset with me and you can go whenever. I won’t blame you, you’ve done enough for me.” Jonathan says, trying to catch your eye. 

You turn away and inspect your bandage, still reeling over the fact that he tied it for you. “I’m here for Will, and only Will.”

“Y/N…” There’s a hurt in his voice that almost makes you turn around to throw your arms around his neck and whisper a million apologies to him. To tell him everything, that you love him and that you’d do anything for him and that’s why you’re so terrified of how you feel. You know you’d burn yourself up if it meant he’d be taken care of, if it meant he was safe and happy and far away from anything that could harm him. You know you’d use up everything within you to love him. 

Instead, you remain silent.

After getting no response from you, Jonathan clears his throat and begins to say something about how the lights will serve as an alarm for the monster, trying to pretend that everything is okay, but he’s cut off by a sudden pounding on the door.

You all jump and your fingers tighten around your switchblade, ready to open it. As your heart pounds you think of all the possible ways the plan could go wrong. When you’re on possibility number twelve, a voice calls through the door. 

“Jonathan?”

“Is that… Steve?” You say out loud, in complete disbelief. 

Steve continues to pound on the door. “Are you there, man? It’s… It’s Steve! Listen, I just wanna talk!”

You’re the first to react, standing up to run over to the door. You fling it open and step outside, making sure Steve won’t be able to see inside the house. When he sees you, he stumbles back a bit. “Henderson?”

His face is still bleeding from earlier and his hair is a mess, and yet there’s a softness to him that you haven’t seen before with him. “Steve, now isn’t really a good time.”

“Can I just talk to Jonathan real quick? I just… I want to apologize about what happened earlier, see if we can maybe–” His eyes land on your bandaged arm. You curse and roll down your sleeve, feeling like an idiot for forgetting to hide the wound before going outside. 

Steve reaches out to touch it, a hint of worry on his face and his voice is now full of concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

You shiver at his touch, it’s gentle as he skims along the bandage and inspects it for any other problems. You pull away, now hiding the wound. “It’s nothing, but you should really go.”

“I want to help you, Y/N. Do you need me to get you anything?” His face is so full of worry for you that it makes you ache. Then a thought occurs to him. “Wait, where’s Byers? Why isn’t he here to help you?”

You’re about to make up a lie, but Nancy flings the door open. “Steve, listen to me.”

He looks between the two of you in complete shock. “Okay, what–”

“You need to leave.” Nancy orders.

Steve looks at you. “I’m not trying to start anything, okay?”

“I know, but–” You get cut off by Nancy.

“I don’t care about that. You need to leave.”

Steve begins to plead with the girl and you step away a bit, not wanting to intrude. You feel bad for him, he looks so beat down by what’s happened today and you suppose that you can’t really blame him. After spending maybe a total of ten hours with Nancy and Jonathan, you also have come close to losing your mind. 

If you were with Jonathan, if you truly had him, you’d react the same as Steve. Begging for the girl he loves to listen to him, to give him another chance with the promise of him changing. 

“I just want to make things right.” Steve says, impressing you with his vulnerability. He’s openly admitting to his mistakes and taking accountability mere hours after the situation has occurred, leaving you both in awe of him and also saddened for him. He loves Nancy more than anything, you can hear it in his voice. 

He deserves better. 

As you’re thinking this, you see his eyes flicker down towards Nancy’s bandaged hand and his brows furrow. “What happened to your hand? Is that blood?” His eyes now flicker over to you again. “Why are you both hurt?”

“We’re clumsy?” You say as Nancy yanks her hand away from Steve.

“It was an accident.” She agrees. 

Steve looks between the two of you, now sensing that something else is wrong. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing!” Nancy insists, but something in Steve’s demeanor shifts. 

“Wait a second, did he do this to you? To Y/N?” His once soft voice is now filled with anger and you step in front of him. 

“Steve, it wasn’t Jonathan. You need to go, I promise I’ll explain everything later–” 

He grabs you by your side and gently moves you so that he can get past and shove through the door. Nancy yells at him to stop and tries to push him out, but she’s useless against his strength. When he manages to break in, he stumbles inside and scans over the house. 

“Shit!” You follow after him, your brain running a million miles a second trying to figure out how to explain everything to him. 

“What the fuck?” Steve mumbles, eyeing the bat with nails in it. “Y/N, what’s going on here?”

He’s looking to you for reassurance and you guess he assumes that the two of you are allies in this Jonathan and Nancy situation. You really wish you could explain, but Jonathan has grabbed him by the shoulders and is trying to push him outside. The two stumble around for a few seconds and you just helplessly watch. 

“Steve, there’s no time to explain, please just listen to Jonathan and get out of here!” You’re helping Jonathan now, trying to get Steve out the door and away from harm’s reach, but he’s still fighting back confused and lost as ever and you pity him. 

You hear a click and turn around, gasping when you see Nancy holding her gun up to Steve. “Woah, what the fuck Nancy?”

“What! What is going on?” Steve yells, now more panicked than anything else. 

While Jonathan has stepped away, you find yourself standing in front of Steve as if to somehow block the bullet. You can’t let him get hurt, he doesn’t have any part of this, he can still have a normal and happy life if he just leaves now. “Nancy, put the fucking gun down, this isn’t helping!”

Steve pleads with her as well and the two of you scream at the girl to just listen and not swing around loaded weapons, but Nancy remains firm in her stance. “You have five seconds to get out of here. I’m doing this for you.”

“Because holding a gun to his head is any better than telling him the truth?” You exclaim, entirely over the situation. 

As the four of you are arguing, the lights begin to flicker. Steve and Nancy don’t seem to notice, but you do. You look at Jonathan and say your first real words to him in hours. “Jonathan…”

He hears you and he runs over to your side, grabbing your hand as the two of you stand shoulder to shoulder. You feel your heartbeat race and you can feel him shaking beside you. He’s terrified, so are you, but his hand around yours manages to steady you. 

“Nancy!” Jonathan tries to get the girl’s attention, but she’s too busy counting down to hear him. 

He shouts at her again and the lights start to flicker more wildly and you draw your switchblade out, adrenaline coursing through you. It’s time. 

Jonathan yells once more and finally catches Nancy’s attention. “The lights!”

She whips her head around and curses, Jonathan, still tightly holding your hand, tugs you along so that you follow him as he secures his weapons and grabs the bat. “It’s here.”

“What’s here?” Steve is flailing around, utterly lost.

You all ignore him and now stand back to back in a triangle. Nancy holds up her gun, Jonathan wields his bat, and you flick your wrist to bring out your knives. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know!” 

The lights flicker rapidly and you feel overwhelmed. They were supposed to serve as a guide towards the monster, but there's no possible way to see which direction it’ll come from and for a fleeting moment you think you’ve made a huge mistake. 

Steve is still screaming, demanding answers, but you’re too busy scanning your surroundings to offer him some information. “Hello? Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going–”

The roof opens up, cutting Steve off, and you scream as the monster attempts to come down right above you. Jonathan shields you from the fallen debris and you cling onto him in utter fear. This isn’t real. This cannot be happening. 

Nancy begins to shoot at the thing while Jonathan guides you to safety. He brings you to the edge of the living room and holds your face in his hands, forcing you to really look at him for the first time all night. “Listen to me, stay here while I get Nancy.”

He kisses your forehead and then leaves, rushing over to Nancy to pull her away and guide her towards Will’s room. Steve stands next to you, frozen, and it forces you back to reality. The plan, you have to stick to the plan. 

You grab Steve’s hand and yank him so that he follows. The monster has dropped down now, a horrible creature on all fours that opens its gaping mouth to let out a horrible screech that you feel deep within your bones. This is what killed Barb. 

The four of you run to Will’s room and you only just barely have enough time to warn Steve about the bear trap. You look over your shoulder and shout, “Jump!” right as your ankle catches on its chains. 

You fall. Hard. 

Pain sears through your ankle and you try to get up, but any pressure on it sends flames through your entire body and you let out another scream. The monster catches up, looming over you, and you brace for your death. There’s no fucking way you’re getting out of this. 

You squeeze your eyes as the monster stalks close to you, its ugly mouth open and ready to kill you. Jonathan is screaming at you to get up, but Nancy is holding him back from helping. You’re relieved by this, knowing that someone has to be there for Will once this is all done. He’ll need his brother, and Nancy seems to understand this. You catch her eye and nod at her, sending a silent thank you. 

“Bug! No, let go of me! I have to help her, Nancy!” Jonathan’s voice becomes hoarse by how loud he screams, his voice breaking with fear and desperation. 

Then, right before the monster lunges at you, you feel a familiar pair of arms slide underneath your legs and pick you up. “What–”

Steve Harrington has swooped in to save you, picking you up as if you weigh nothing, ever the athlete, and swiftly jumps over the bear trap while screaming his head off. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”

You’re so delirious from the pain in your ankle and the adrenaline pumping through your veins that you can’t help but let a laugh escape you. No fucking way is any of this real. Steve Harrington is carrying you bridal style into Will’s bedroom with Jonathan and Nancy as witnesses. 

What a life. 

Once you’re both secured in the room, Steve sets you down gently right as Nancy yells at him to shut up. As soon as Steve lets go of you, Jonathan is at your side and pulls you into a crushing hug. 

“Bug.” He breathes out against your ear, relief heavy. 

“I’m okay.” You tell him, threading your fingers through his hair. He’s shaking harder than ever, and holding onto you as if he’s scared he’ll lose you again. “I’m okay, bee.” 

He pulls away and his hands are all over you, checking everywhere for any other injuries. “Did it hurt you, are you bleeding? There should be a first aid kit–”

You grab his hands and kiss his knuckles, which seems to calm him down a bit. “I’m fine, just twisted my ankle. If you help me up, I’m sure I’ll be able to stand again.” 

Jonathan quickly helps you to your feet and you lean against him for the extra support. While you put on a brave face for Jonathan, you’re terrified out of your fucking mind. You almost died. Jonathan is still holding your hand and he’s looking at you as if seeing you for the first time and you force yourself to look away. It’s the same look from the field days ago, when you thought he’d kiss you. 

You have to focus on what’s at stake.

How the hell are you guys supposed to kill this thing?

The monster screeches, breaking the moment between you and Jonathan, and he flicks his lighter on and forces you to stand behind him. Nancy holds up her gun and you bring your knives closer to your face, Steve standing weaponless behind you. 

You all wait, tense, for the monster. It stalks closer to the room, its awful growls alerting you of its proximity, but it doesn’t appear. 

“What’s it doing?” Nancy asks, frustrated. 

“I don’t know.” You respond, equally as frustrated and scared. 

Another few agonizing seconds pass, and you stare at the yo-yo and hope that it remains still. Then, the lights stop flickering and it becomes quiet. All you can hear is your blood roaring in your ears. 

Nancy looks around. “Do you hear anything?”

“No,” Jonathan shakes his head, inching closer to the door. 

“Wait!” You tug at your still interlocked hands. You pick up his bat that had been thrown on the ground and hand it to him. “Be careful. Please.”

He gives your hand one last squeeze before letting go, accepting the bat.

As Jonathan pokes his head out to see if the monster is outside, Steve bends his head down and whispers in your ear, “Romantic.”

“Shut. Up.” You hit him in the chest, fearfully watching your best friend to make sure he doesn't die. When he motions an all clear, Nancy follows him outside, then you, then Steve. 

The house is silent and your heart sinks when you see that the bear trap has been left untouched. You realize with a horrible gut wrench that the monster is smarter than the three of you had anticipated. 

So much for your plan, then.

“It’s smarter than we thought.” 

“Yeah,” Jonathan agrees with dismay. 

He stalks against the wall towards the living room and you all follow in a single file line. You do your best to stick close to the wall but you limp with every step. Your ankle is definitely out of commission for now. Great. 

All of you are on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It couldn’t have been that easy, there’s no possible way that the monster simply up and left. You enter the living room, which has gotten even more wrecked due the monster. The wallpaper has been torn off of some parts of the wall and you see papers scattered everywhere. 

“Shit…” you mumble, kicking at a shredded wallpaper strip. 

In the corner, Steve has started to hyperventilate and mumble to himself. “This is crazy, this is so crazy, this is fucking crazy.” 

You limp over to him and grab his shoulders, making him face you. “Steve, hey. It’s okay, I’m here.”

“Y/N, what the hell just happened?” 

“It’s… complicated. For now, can you trust me that everything will be okay?” 

“Of course I trust you, it’s just…” He nods, his eyes softening. You lessen your hold on him and give him a smile, he seems to be calming down. Then, he looks around the room and seemingly remembers where he is. “This is crazy!” 

Steve lunges for the phone on the wall and tries to call for help. 

You stumble after him, the pain in your ankle slowing you down. “Steve, wait–”

Nancy gets to him first, grabbing the phone out of his hand and throwing it across the room. He looks at her, shocked. “What are you doing? Are you insane?”

“It’s going to come back!” Nancy yells at him, and you wince at the way she treats him. You know Steve will only listen to her, but she could at least be nicer about the whole situation. The three of you have had some time to process everything happening, Steve was thrown into the deep end. 

“You could be a little nicer,” you mumble, and Nancy sends you a glare. You raise your hands up in surrender. “Sorry.” 

“Steve, you need to leave. Right now.”

He looks so overwhelmed and you give him a pitying look. He stares at you, reminiscent of the way he looked at you earlier in the alley, silently begging you to say something, anything, but again you can only shake your head at him. You won’t force him to stay, it wouldn’t be fair.

“Y/N, please…” He tries one more time to get you on his side, but you can’t. Frustrated by your lack of response, Steve groans. “Fuck it!” 

He runs out the door. 

You’ll admit that you’re a bit disappointed, but you also understand. Who in their right mind would stay? 

You and Nancy share a look before the lights begin to flicker again. Dread fills you. “Fuck…”

Jonathan is back by your side and he and Nancy again form a triangle with you, all your backs pressed together as you desperately try to locate the monster. You all stumble in a circle, searching for any sign of the thing, but there’s nothing. 

“Where is it?” Nancy gasps out.

“Just fucking show yourself!” You shout, just wanting this all to be over with. Your body is drained from living in a state of fear for so long. 

“Come on you son of a bitch!” Jonathan echoes your taunts. 

Suddenly the lights turn off and you’re left alone in complete darkness. Faintly you can hear the monster’s familiar growl approaching from behind you. The hair on the back of your neck stands up, the air stands still. It’s back. Before you can react, it pounces on Jonathan. 

“Jonathan!” You scream alongside Nancy. Desperation takes over you and before you can even process what’s happening, you ignore the pain in your ankle and jump onto its back, stabbing repeatedly at it. 

Your blades only bounce off of its thick skin and the monster struggles to get you off. You hold on as tight as you can, shouting and kicking at it so that it can’t hurt him, but then it opens its mouth and for a horrifying moment you’re afraid that Jonathan will die.

“No!” You scream even louder than before and double down on your effort, stabbing and slashing as much as you possibly can to try and create some damage, but your arms are starting to ache and your ankle now feels like it’s on fire. 

“Nancy, its skin is too thick!” You sob out, nearing complete exhaustion. Then, just as you’re about to collapse from exhaustion, gunshots fill the room. 

Nancy begins to shoot at the monster and with the help of your blades, the two of you manage to pierce its skin, but even then the damage is minimal. It’s not enough, it won’t be enough. Tears stream down your face and the monster only gets closer to Jonathan, so you do the only thing you can think of: you crawl onto the top of its body and stab at its mouth. 

The monster lets out a blood curdling scream and flings you off of its back. You go flying across the room and land against the wall with a groan. All the air has been knocked out of you and your ribs are definitely going to be bruised tomorrow. Every part of you aches, but you manage to lift your head up and blearily process the monster now approaching Nancy as she continues to shoot at it, but it remains unphased. 

You crawl over to Jonathan, who is still laying on the ground. He’s motionless, and you fight everything within you not to break down and sob. You have to keep going, he has to be alive. As you reach Jonathan and frantically check for a pulse, the monster has now cornered Nancy and her gun seems to be out of bullets.

It’s over. You know it is. 

Right as you’ve accepted your fate, a screaming Steve Harrington wielding Jonathan’s bat once again manages to save the day. 

He hits the monster with the bat, effectively saving Nancy and you’re so impressed with his batting skills that you almost find him attractive with how easily he hits and dodges the monster. However, you file those thoughts away for later and finally manage to wake Jonathan up. He startles with a gasp and you check over his chest, scared he may have gotten pierced by the monster’s claws. 

“I’m fine, we need to help.”

You help each other up and you have to lean heavily against him due to your ankle. You bull riding the monster has only made the sprain worse; you’re too afraid to look down and see the damage that’s been done. 

As the two of you hobble over to Nancy, Jonathan looks at you. “Is Harrington really here right now?”

“Yes.”

“Lovely.”

Steve manages to lure the monster closer and closer to the bear trap and you watch him in awe. He’s quick footed and so sure of himself, the complete opposite of the boy from only ten minutes ago who had run out of the house screaming his head off. Now, Steve is swift with his hits and even twirls the bat in his hand to show off. The small act causes you to smile despite the horrible circumstances. 

By the time you and Jonathan are up and recovered, Steve has successfully led the monster straight into the trap. It clamps around the monster’s foot and it screeches, flailing around in the trap. Steve still has his bat held up, now frantically looking over to everyone else. “He’s in the trap! He’s stuck!”

“Jonathan, now!” Nancy screams, motioning over at him to use his lighter. 

Jonathan listens, using his free hand to flick the lighter on and then drops it onto the ground, right into the trail of gasoline. Immediately the monster goes up in flames, letting out horrible noises. You all shield your faces from the flames and Jonathan pulls you closer into him, still having yet to let go of you; you feel yourself sink into his side as you watch the monster wither away.

“Bug, I have to get the fire extinguisher, do you think you can stand on your own?” Jonathan asks you, his voice soft but urgent. 

You quickly nod and brace yourself for his departure. “Yeah, go.” 

He lets go of you as gently as possible before running to grab the extinguisher. When he has it, he orders everyone to get back and then smothers the flames. It takes a couple seconds, but eventually the fire gets put out, leaving behind an awful stench that makes everyone cough and gag. 

“Holy fuck,” you wheeze out, hunched over. “Burnt monster smells horrible.” 

“Yeah, no kidding.” Steve coughs out. 

Nancy covers her face with her jacket. “Where did it go?”

“It has to be dead.” Jonathan pants against the wall, looking like he’s three seconds away from passing out. “It has to be.”

“It fucking better be dead.” You mumble, hobbling closer to see what exactly was left behind. When you get closer and see the giant lump of melted skin all over the bear trap, you gag. “Oh god. Yeah, okay. It’s dead.”

Everyone sighs with relief. 

Then, you notice a Christmas light above you flicker on. Your heart stops, terrified that the monster has somehow survived, but then a second one turns on, then a third, until a path seems to be guiding you towards the living room. 

You all follow, cautious but curious, but these lights don’t feel threatening. There’s an energy to them, a comforting one that leaves you breathless. When you get to the living room, tears form in your eyes, now understanding what this all is. You look at Jonathan, who also seems to be thinking what you are. 

It’s Joyce, you know it is. 

“Mom,” he breathes out. 

You limp over to him and grab his hand. He turns to you, his eyes shining with an appreciation that he only ever has for you. He seems to be drinking you in, as if now realizing just how close the two of you came to dying tonight. You’re doing the same, thankful that he’s alive and standing next to you despite everything. There’s so much the two of you want to say, but as always the words aren’t needed. You understand each other perfectly, the balance between you centered once more. 

You put your head on Jonathan’s shoulder and he brings his hand to your hair to softly stroke it. The two of you stand like that for a second, breathing each other in and enjoying the tenderness after such a miserable day, before you slowly break apart and follow the lights going outside. 

The porch light flickers and Nancy stands next to you, watching it with uncertainty. “Where’s it going?”

“I don’t think it’s the monster.” Jonathan tells her. 

“It’s Will.” You don’t know how you know this, or what makes you feel so certain that you’re right, but somehow you know that you are. Somewhere deep within you, you feel the faint outline of hope flicker. 

A new silence surrounds the four of you at your words, and for once there’s hope between you all. Then, after a minute or so of silence, everyone begins to head back inside. Steve first, then Nancy, and finally Jonathan, leaving you alone with the crisp early winter air.

You take a deep breath, the cold air serving as a reminder that you’re alive. You let it fill your lungs until you can’t breathe in anymore, then you release the air through an exhale and feel your body settle into its exhaustion. This is the first time you’ve had a moment to yourself, so you let the exhaustion weigh upon you like a warm blanket. 

Will is safe, you can feel it. Despite everything, he’s safe and alive. Jonathan is too, still your best friend regardless of all the unspoken words between the two of you. Dustin is at the school with the kids, away from danger. Everything is okay, it’ll be okay. 

You let the moment wash over you, incredibly grateful to be lucky enough to have survived it all. Everyone you love and hold close to you is safe. You didn’t fuck up this time. God, you did it. 

Jonathan comes running out after a while, his face alight with joy and he crashes into you and picks you up to twirl you around. You laugh, loud and freely, and bury your face in his hair as he continues. “Bee, stop! Put me down, you dummy!” 

He does as he’s told, but doesn’t let go of you once your feet are on the ground. “My mom just called, they saved Will. He–he’s in the hospital, he’s okay.” 

You squeal and throw your arms around Jonathan again, squeezing him so hard that you’re afraid you'll hurt him, but he simply laughs and squeezes you just as tight. Tears come again, but this time they’re happy ones, and if it weren’t for your ankle you’d be jumping up and down right now. 

Jonathan’s laughter dies down and he cups your chin around his fingers so that you look up at him. “You did it.” 

“We did it, bug.” You softly push against him. You can’t take all the credit. 

His eyes are shining again, you haven’t seen him this happy in so long, you get lost in it. His face is lit up and his smile is back and you’re so in love with him that it claws against your throat and threatens to spill out in excess.

A beat of silence passes and Jonathan just soaks your presence in. You can’t quite read his face, but for once this doesn’t frighten you. You enjoy it, you relish in the fact that he’s still yours yet now forming into someone new and lovely and wonderful. 

“You never gave up.” He whispers at last, adoration in his voice. 

“Never.” 

“You never left me.” 

“Never.” You breathe out, the word so simple with such heavy weight behind it. 

The moment is so raw, so tender, and Jonathan is giving you that look again, the one that leaves you feeling like the sun itself has settled upon you and kissed your cheek. His eyes flick down to your lips and you smile, taunting him to lean in. He seems to understand, giving you his own teasing smile before leaning in. You lean in as well, every part of you buzzing, and right before your lips touch his, Steve bursts through the door.

“Jonathan, dude, do you have like, any food in the house?” He asks, completely oblivious to what he’s just interrupted. 

You and Jonathan break apart, laughing the tension away. He ducks his head down, clears his throat, and turns to Steve. “Sorry, man. Been a little busy this week for grocery shopping.”

Steve’s eyes bulge out of his head. “Oh shit, right. Sorry, okay. Uh… Well, I’ll be inside, I guess.” 

“We’ll be in shortly.” You tell Steve. You want to be frustrated by his timing, but something tells you that you’ll have all the time in the world to tell Jonathan how you feel. Now just isn’t the time. 

– 

The moment you arrive at the hospital, Jonathan sprints out of the car and straight towards the front desk to find out where Will is. You and Nancy follow behind, figuring you won’t be able to see Will for a while since you’re not blood related, so the two of you wish Jonathan goodbye and head towards the waiting room. 

Steve lags behind, obviously unsure where to go. Nancy immediately walks inside, but you notice his hesitation and nudge his shoulder. “I’m sure that the cut on your eyebrow needs to be looked out. Let’s go sit, okay?”

He sighs deeply. “Yeah, sure. Totally. Let’s go sit in a room full of people who probably hate me. No biggie.”

“Either come or don’t.” You shrug. “But the way I see it, you can start mending some metaphorical wounds while you wait in there.”

You don’t wait for Steve to figure out what to do, you know that Dustin is somewhere inside the waiting room and you’re buzzing to see him and the rest of the kids. You hobble inside, still very much in pain due to your injuries, but the moment you see your brother it all fades away. 

He runs into your arms and almost knocks you down with the force. Dustin clings onto you, mumbling over and over again how sorry he is. 

“Hey, wait a second,” you pull him away and crouch down, groaning a bit at the pain. “What are you sorry about? What happened?”

You look around the room and see everyone there. Nancy, Hopper, the kids, Steve, even Nancy’s parents, but there’s someone missing…

“El,” you breathe out. 

Dustin’s lip trembles and he begins to cry. You soothe him, grabbing his hand to bring him over to the seats and sit between him and Mike. Lucas is to the left of Dustin and you can’t help but notice how all the boys have dried tears in their eyes. 

When they’re ready, you have the kids explain what happened, and the more they tell you, the more guilty you feel. You should’ve been there for them, you left them all alone with that monster. You got Will back, and yet you’ve lost El as a result. It seems that no matter what you do, it’ll never quite be enough in the end. 

“It’s not your fault.” You tell Dustin, who still keeps apologizing. It was you who had left him in charge, you’re why El ended up vanquished by the monster. “You did everything you could. I shouldn’t have left you guys all alone, but I’m proud that you all took care of one another, okay?”

He sniffs and nods his head, but you know he doesn’t believe you. All the boys are somber; you know it’ll take time for them to recover. So, you do what you do best, you console them. You hold their hands and rub their backs and offer your spare comics in your bag. You do whatever you can to comfort them, to reassure them that they’re safe now and that no one will hurt them, but the light in their eyes has dimmed. 

They’ll never be the same again. 

And El… she had been so young, you don’t think you’ll ever not feel the heavy weight of guilt whenever you think of her. She had been so sweet and had trusted you. 

You should’ve been there, you wish you could’ve saved her.

Steve watches from his seat across from you. He listens in as you comfort the boys, taking care of them in such a natural way. He admires this softer side of you, one he hasn’t quite seen before. Sure, you’ve always been gentle and sincere, but watching you with the kids is something special in itself. You manage to get them to laugh, you offer them your shoulder to cry or sleep on, and you read aloud to them stories from your comics and Steve finds himself drawn towards your interactions with the kids. 

It’s sweet, something delicate and lovely, and Steve admires everything that you are. When he sees you awkwardly stand up and stumble over to the vending machines in the hall, Steve finds himself following after you. 

-

“Bitch!” You slam the palm of your hand against the vending machine in vain. The bag of chips hangs by the little spiral, taunting you. 

“That’s not a very nice word, Henderson.” 

You turn and see Steve, leaning against the wall with a fond expression. “You stalking me?”

“Nah, just wanted to watch you fight against a vending machine.”

“Ha,” you snort, turning back to the machine. “Unless you can help me get this last chip bag, you’re free to go sit back down.”

You mean it to be a joke, not expecting Steve to actually listen, but he’s at your side within a second. “Step back, let Steve handle her.” 

“What–”

Steve motions for you to move, so you reluctantly do as you’re told. Once you’re out of the way, Steve claps his hands, stretches out his neck, and then begins to aggressively shake the vending machine. 

“That is so not what you’re supposed to do–”

Suddenly the bag drops down from the hook and into the retrieval slot. Steve reaches inside, grabs the bag, and then dangles it in the air. “Tada!” 

You laugh and grab the bag from him. “Okay, I’ll admit, that was impressive.” 

“What can I say? I’m charming like that.” 

“Sure,” you smile at him, neither of you have moved yet. He’s still standing in front of you with that cocky smile on his face that’s slowly started to warm on you. You truly do understand why so many girls have fallen for him. If you ever saw Steve on the street, a stranger passing by, you’d fall a little bit in love with him yourself.

The thought startles you. “Well, uh…”

“Yes?” Steve raises his eyebrows at you, smiling. 

“Thank you for the chips. The kids haven’t eaten anything in hours, so…” You wave the three bags in your arms. “Gotta keep 'em fed.”

“Wait a second, there’s only three bags there. Aren’t you going to eat anything?”

“I only had enough money for the boy’s chips.” You say, feeling suddenly sheepish. “It’s fine, though. I’ll just eat a few pieces from them and wait until we get home.”

Steve scoffs. “Yeah, no.”

You frown at him, confused as he rustles through his jean pocket and pulls out his wallet. “I don’t want your money–”

He doesn’t listen and simply puts the cash into the vending machine and punches in a few numbers. Slowly, one by one, multiple different bags of sweets and chips come falling down within the machine. Once the last one has dropped, Steve bends down and offers the huge stash to you. 

“A feast, on me.” He winks at you and you can’t help but blush. 

“T–thanks, I guess.” You now carefully balance the rest of the snacks in your arms, the mound almost blocking your view. You’re not sure how much Steve just paid, but with all these snacks you and the kids will surely be well fed. 

Steve shrugs, and if you weren’t so tired you’d think the blush on his face was a real one. “It’s the least I can do, all things considered.”

His words give you pause. You know he’s referencing earlier today, back in the alley where fists slammed against skin and he had dragged you away from your best friend, but the memory feels like years ago. So much has happened since then, Steve has saved your life since then. 

“Steve…” Your ankle is starting to sting again from standing for so long, so you adjust your footing and try to figure out what you want to say. “I never got to thank you back at Jonathan’s.”

“Thank me?” His face scrunches in confusion in a sickeningly cute way that it almost distracts you.

“Yes. You saved my life tonight, Steve. I won’t ever forget that.” 

“Oh…There’s no need to thank me. I mean, what are friends for?” Steve freezes and clears his throat. “I mean, shit. We aren’t friends, you keep saying that. Sorry. You know what I mean.”

You know you shouldn’t, but you laugh. Honestly, after everything you’ve been through tonight with Steve, how can he possibly think the two of you aren’t friends?

“Why are you laughing?” Steve mumbles, confused. 

“Sorry,” you wheeze out, still uncontrollably laughing. “It’s just–I mean, dude! We almost died together, of course we’re friends now!”

“We are?” He looks like a little kid on Christmas day being given the gift he’s always wanted.

Your heart warms. “Yes, idiot.”

Steve starts moving around in what you can only guess is a happy dance. “Sweet! Does this mean I get a cool nickname, too?”

“A nickname?” A bag of chips threatens to fall from your arms, but Steve catches it before it can land on the ground and takes a few more snacks off of your hands. 

He readjusts the snacks he now has so that he can carry them easier. “Yeah, I mean. Byers has one, why can’t I?”

You don’t think you’ll ever stop feeling so thrown every time Steve mentions a small detail about you that he’s somehow come to notice. He has a habit of doing that, surprising you by how much he seems to pay attention to you. You thought that no one ever had before, but Steve continues to prove you wrong. 

“I’ll tell ya what,” you begin to walk back towards the waiting room, careful to step carefully to not drop anything or upset your ankle. “Let’s see how this ‘friends’ thing works out, then I’ll decide what nickname fits you best. Deal?”

Steve thinks for a moment and follows. “Hmm. I don’t know, I think I’ll need some type of precaution to make sure you give me a nickname in the end. I want one, Y/N. I’m so serious right now.”

You laugh at his pleading tone. “I can add you to my baking list. Whatever I bake, you’ll get a piece of it. Is that better?”

“God, yes!” Steve punches the air and cheers. 

You’re smiling so much that your face aches. You haven’t felt this light and carefree in so long, you’d almost forgotten what it’s like. The two of you don’t say anything else as you walk back to the waiting room, though Steve seems to slow down so that you don’t hurt your ankle keeping up, though you still let out a few winces and groans.

When you’ve arrived back at your seat, Steve sets down the snacks and runs off without another word. You’re confused by his sudden departure but don’t think much of it. Instead, you wake the boys up and show them your array of snacks, which wakes them up immediately. 

You’re mediating a fight between Mike and Lucas over who gets the bag of Chips Ahoy when a nurse interrupts. “Excuse me, ma’am. This young man over here told me I should come over and check out your ankle?”

The woman smiles and you look past her and see Steve sheepishly waving from his seat across from you. You’re stunned. Had he really gone out of his way to ensure your ankle gets treated?

You shake the thoughts out of your head and inform the woman all she needs to know. You tell her how you’d fallen and what type of pain you feel when you stand up. She inspects the ankle, her fingers cold but kind, and within a few minutes has diagnosed you with a sprained ankle. 

“All you can really do is stay off of it for a few weeks while it heals. I can go and get you some crutches, if you’d like?” She asks, rolling her gloves off and tucking them back into her pocket.

You nod. “If you wouldn’t mind, that’d be great.”

The nurse leaves with the promise of being back soon. In the meantime she instructs you to keep your ankle elevated, so you prop it against the coffee table and wait. You’re annoyed that you even have to have crutches, but then you think of Barb, of El. You’re luckier than you should be. 

– 

After an hour or so, Jonathan opens the door to the waiting room. He spots you and Mike talking softly with each other and whistles over to catch your attention. When Mike looks up, Jonathan nods at him and the boy scrambles out of his seat. 

“Guys! Guys! He’s up, Will is up!” Mike shakes awake Lucas and Dustin, who had been cuddling on the seats fast asleep. “Will’s up!”

Once they’re awake, they quickly follow after Mike and the three boys are gone in an instant, sprinting down the hall towards Will’s room. Clearly they’re eager to see their friend. 

You do your best to get up as fast as possible, but your new crutches serve more as a nuisance rather than an aid. As you struggle to get up, somehow knocking over the mountain of snacks, Steve rushes over. 

He grabs the crutches and offers you his hand. “Here, careful.”

“Thanks,” you awkwardly accept his hand and get up. Jonathan watches from the doorway, a curious look on his face. Nancy does the same from her seat, not saying a word as she watches Steve gently help you navigate the waiting room with your injury. 

Jonathan holds the door open for you and takes over once you’re out the door. He grabs the crutches from Steve and is now the one to hold your hand, balancing you. “I can take it from here, Harrington.”

“Right, yeah.” Steve scratches the back of his head and coughs. “I’ll just… yeah.” 

He heads back inside and you and Jonathan watch as he leaves. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jonathan turns to you. “Are you two friends now or something?”

“We almost died tonight, bee. I think it’s safe to call Steve a friend now.”

Jonathan bites his lip, though there’s a far off look in his eye that leaves you feeling like you’ve missed something in the conversation. “Guess that’s true. Anyways, let’s get you to Will.”

By the time you make it to the room, the boys have swarmed around Will and are telling him everything he’s missed this week. He’s listening eagerly as they’re telling him about El, but when he sees you enter the room, his eyes light up and he tries to sit up. 

“Y/N!” Will calls out, pure excitement in his voice. 

You practically fall over in your haste to get to him. The second you’re close enough, you collapse onto his bed and give him the tightest hug you possibly can without hurting him. He feels so small against you, smaller than he’s ever felt before, and his sunken eyes and pale skin make you want to cry. 

But he’s alive and here and in your arms once again, happy and wonderful and safe. 

“Little bee,” you try not to cry, but tears are thick in your voice. “I missed you.”

Will manages a weak smile and shrugs, trying to play off the gravity of the situation. “Took a little detour home.” 

You laugh and ruffle his hair. “At least you came home, that’s all that matters.”

“Ahem,” Mike obnoxiously clears his throat, effectively ending your moment with Will. “You’re hogging Will, move over.” 

You laugh again and move away, allowing the boys to resume their millions of updates. You maneuver your crutches and walk over to Jonathan, who is standing by the door. He’s looking at the boys and Will with a soft smile on his face and you join him, standing side by side as you watch your boys finally come together again. 

Then, you feel a pair of eyes on you and you turn around. Nancy is leaning against the doorway behind you; she looks frail and distraught. There’s a sadness in her eyes as she watches the kids. You know that watching the boys reunite with their friend must remind her of Barb. She never got her happy reunion. 

You feel awful for the girl, so when her bittersweet smile drops and she turns to leave the room, you nudge Jonathan to make him aware of the situation. He sees her fleeing and begins to follow after her, but he stops. 

“What are you waiting for? Go.” You tell him, knowing it’s for the best. 

He shifts his weight, uncertain. “Are you sure?”

You’re not sure how to decipher the hidden meanings underneath those three words, but you find that you’re exhausted trying to keep reading between the lines. The feelings you’ve kept buried bubble to the surface, but you remind yourself that he loves Nancy, despite your weird moments of almost with him. There’s something there between you and Jonathan, you both can feel it, but it feels too raw and fragile to bring into the light. 

Without having to ask, you know that Jonathan will choose her. 

It breaks your heart, but you look over at Dustin and Will, who are laughing about some joke while Joyce gazes at them fondly, and you know that you can’t lose this. Maybe Jonathan knows this, too. The small family you’ve built together, it’s too precious to ruin. 

Joyce and your boys, you can’t lose them. They’re yours, and Jonathan is yours in a way that you can’t quite keep to yourself forever, but for now it’s enough. You approach Joyce, grab her hand and give her a tired smile, and the smile she returns to you reminds you that this is more than enough for you. 

You turn to Jonathan, pushing down your feelings once more in favor of appreciating the fact that Will is looking at you again, alive. “Go, bee.” 

Jonathan gives you one last look. You study his face for a moment, watching as it shifts from confusion, to hurt, then finally into acceptance. You’ll never be sure of what exactly he’d been thinking in that moment, but it seemed to have been enough for him, too.

He smiles, lets out a deep breath, and then leaves.

The door closes softly behind him. 

– 

A month later you find yourself in the passenger seat of Jonathan's car, tired from your shift at Bookstrordinary but excited to pick up your brothers. Somehow, even after missing three consecutive shifts last month, Mrs. Waters refused to fire you. 

But Jonathan? He hadn’t been so lucky. His boss fired him from the Hawk, but he hadn’t been too upset. He still drives you to and from work, so you suppose things could be worse. 

It’s late, but the two of you take your time driving to the Wheeler’s. Nothing much has changed between you two following Will’s reappearance. Sure, maybe you’re at his house more just to make sure Will is adapting well, but besides that everything seemed to go back to normal. 

Well, almost normal. 

Steve appeared at your job a few days after your conversation in the hospital. He had surprised you when you walked in, and when you asked what he was doing in a bookstore, Steve simply shrugged and said, “You can’t figure out my nickname if we don’t hang out, right? So, I’m here.”

He had become a regular at the store, stopping by whenever he could, and slowly the two of you became good friends. You’ve come to enjoy Steve’s presence, something that you never thought would ever happen. But he keeps you company as you work, he wanders around and explores the comics and books you recommend to him, and it’s nice having someone to goof off with. 

Plus, you did promise to add him to your baking list, so he’s also become your taste tester who happily eats any creation you bring in for him.

As for Nancy…

That was more of a sore subject for Jonathan. 

There was a few weeks following Will’s reappearance that you thought Jonathan and Nancy would get together, but it never happened. You’re not quite sure why, maybe it had something to do with Jonathan’s hesitation of approaching her, but it had crushed him when you and he saw Nancy and Steve making out in the hall as if nothing bad had ever happened. 

The way Jonathan’s face crumbled when he saw the couple only solidified that he’d never be yours, but you comforted him anyways. You told him he deserved better and then dragged him away. It’d taken him a few days, but eventually Jonathan was able to fake a smile again. 

You haven’t spoken about it since that day, but you leave your window open most nights for him to crawl in. The nightmares from that night fighting the monster plague you both, and the loneliness feels a little heavier than usual, but at least you have each other. 

“Jonathan! Y/N! Come in, the boys are downstairs.” Mrs. Wheeler answers the door, letting the two of you in. “And Y/N, I love that sweater on you.”

You thank the woman. “It was a gift from my mom. She claims I need to up my wardrobe, whatever that means.”

“Well, I think she has lovely taste.” 

“I’ll let you know you think so!” You open the basement door and motion for Jonathan to go down first. 

When he reaches the bottom of the steps, Jonathan makes a face. “Woah, what’s that smell? Have you guys been playing games all day, or just farting?”

“My vote is farting.” You say, hopping down the last step. Your ankle has mostly healed by now, but sometimes if you land on it wrong it makes a weird clicking noise followed by some pain, but you choose to pretend that it’s normal. 

The boys laugh and Lucas points at your brother. “Oh, that’s just Dustin. He farted.”

He begins making fart noises with his mouth and you and Dustin share a look. “Very mature, Lucas.”

The boy continues to sing and make fart noises and you can’t believe that this is your life. You’re standing in a smelly basement while picking up your stubborn brother all while simultaneously enjoying the fact that you get to call this your life. 

Jonathan calls over to Will to grab his things, so you follow suit and gently berate Lucas. “Alright, that’s enough. I gotta get Dustin home.”

“What, I thought I got to stay–”

“Jonathan is our ride and I made cookies, so let’s go.”

The moment the word “cookies” leaves your mouth, Dustin hops up and collects his things without any further argument. 

Once he’s ready, he and Lucas play wrestle as they say goodbye. While they’re distracted, you walk over to Mike and discreetly hand him a container full of double fudge brownies. You’d specifically made them for him, knowing they were his favorite, because you noticed how hard it’s been for him to adjust to El being gone. He really cared about her, anyone could see that. 

Mike’s eyes widen and he throws his arms around you. “Thanks, Y/N.”

You pat his back. “Anytime, Wheeler.”

Dustin breaks away from Lucas and runs up the stairs, so you take that as your cue to leave. 

Upstairs, Jonathan and Will are talking to Mrs. Wheeler. When they see you enter, the woman turns to you and asks if you’ll be bringing over your usual round of holiday treats. “Of course, I’ll get started on them tomorrow. You guys still like the sugar cookies?”

“If you make them, I think I’ll die of happiness.” Mrs. Wheeler informs you, and you laugh and tell her that you’ll have them ready as soon as possible. 

You bid her goodbye, Dustin now by your side, and you follow Jonathan and Will to the front door. Right before you open the door, Nancy calls Jonathan’s name from the top of the stairs. 

“Hey, Jonathan, wait up!” 

You, Dustin, and Will stand awkwardly in the back while Nancy hands Jonathan a wrapped gift and wishes him a merry Christmas. They share an awkward exchange since Jonathan hadn’t gotten her anything, but Nancy assures him that it’s fine. The interaction is painful to watch as Nancy doesn’t spare you a single glance. Dustin and Will look at you uncertainly when she kisses Jonathan’s cheek, but you ignore them and pretend to be interested in a Christmas decoration on the table.

This will never get any easier. 

“You ready?” Jonathan turns back to you guys, a blush on his face, and all you can do is silently nod. 

In the car you sit in the back with Dustin, who squeezes your arm in reassurance. He’s come to understand your complex feelings for Jonathan and has pieced together Nancy’s involvement. While he’s never outright consoled you, he’s shown his support in other small and wonderful ways. 

“Thanks,” you whisper, and Dustin smiles. 

“We all buckled up?” Jonathan asks as he starts up the car. 

“Yes, captain.” You mock salute. 

Will giggles at you before he sees the gift and looks up at Jonathan. “Can I open it?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

You and Dustin lean forward so you can see what’s in the box. When Will unwraps a beautiful, and no doubt expensive, camera, you gasp. The bitterness and hurt from moments ago vanishes. This gift is from Steve, you know it is, and something warm settles deep within your bones. 

You think about last month, how you’d told him not everyone can just afford a camera. 

Seems like Steve listened. 

Maybe he isn’t so bad after all. 

– 

A week later you knock on the Byers’ door, a giant container of your annual holiday cookies in your arms. 

“Bug!” Jonathan answers the door with an excited smile on his face. His new camera is in his hands and before you can even process what’s happening, he’s already taken a photo of you with your crooked earmuffs and oversized box of cookies.

He’s been using the camera ever since he got it. There’s now multiple pictures of you, always unaware or caught off guard, now hanging in the kitchen. It makes you blush to think about. 

“You didn’t even give me a chance to smile.” You complain, shoving your way inside. It’s snowing and you’re freezing. 

Joyce grabs the container to help you as soon as she sees you. “Here, honey. I’ve got it.”

You thank her and walk over to Will, who is drawing at the kitchen table. “Hey little bee. Whatcha drawing?”

“Hi, Y/N.” He slides over his picture and you’re shown a quick sketch of you and the party, this time fighting what appears to be a misshapen dog. “It’s a Dire Wolf, we’re fighting it in our latest campaign.”

“Ah, I see. Looks fluffy, though. Can’t possibly be a dangerous creature.”

Will rolls his eyes at you. “This is why you don’t play with us.”

“Careful, you’re sassing the girl who has just bravely ridden her bike through the snow to deliver her famous Christmas cookies.”

Will is out of his seat in an instant, running over to his mom, who has just placed the container on the counter. “Did you make the oatmeal raisin cookies?”

“Duh,” you snort. 

“And the chocolate chip?”

“I sure did.” You stand next to him and point at a new cookie you’re trying out this year. “This batch is a caramel banana one. Steve seemed to like it and I think it’s pretty good, so I hope you do too.”

Jonathan swoops over and kisses your head. “Of course we’ll like it, bug.”

“He’s right, you know. We always love whatever you make us, honey.” Joyce informs you, her mouth now full of cookies. 

“I’d hope so, this is like my fifth year making these for you guys. It’d be awkward if you hated my baking.” You say, now securing your earmuffs back on your head. “Anyways, I should get going. It’s Christmas, my mom won’t want me out too long.” 

Joyce looks out the window and frowns. “Did you really bike here in this weather?”

“It wasn’t too bad, I’ll be fine–”

“No. Jonathan, grab your keys and drive Y/N home.” She stares you down, daring you to argue with her, but you don’t. You know better than to argue with Joyce Byers. 

Once Jonathan has his keys, you say goodbye to everyone and wish them a merry Christmas. Jonathan throws your bike in his trunk and soon you’re off on the road. The drive is quiet but cozy. The snowflakes fall in a pretty spiral and there’s a soft song playing on the radio. 

Sometimes, if you close your eyes, you can pretend that the events from last month never happened. Will never disappeared. You never discovered that you love Jonathan. Nancy Wheeler never became friends with Jonathan, possibly something more had there been more time. When you close your eyes and sit still, you can imagine that your brother never has nightmares that wake him up screaming. That your heart doesn’t hurt when you make your best friend laugh. 

For a moment, you can forget. 

“Can we always stay like this?” You ask Jonathan softly, almost as if you’ll disturb the peace that winter has brought with its quiet snow. 

“Like what?”

You’re not sure how to express what you’re feeling. “This, us. Together.”

“Of course we’ll always stay like this.” He grabs your hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it. He says this like it’s a fact, the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Pinky promise me.” You hold your pinky up. You know it’s silly, but you need him to hear you, to understand what you’re saying.

Jonathan looks over at you. “Y/N–”

“Please, promise me, bee.”

He’s silent for a moment, seeming to understand the weight of everything between, around, and within the two of you. Then, he extends his pinky finger and wraps it around yours. “I promise, bug.” 

And you believe him.

[END OF SEASON ONE]

-

⌑ series masterlist

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⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

[hapuchika]

The White Healer Chapter 4

Note: Hi guys, I'm really sorry for not posting sooner. I've had a couple of family problems and haven't exactly been in the best headspace. I'll work on posting more frequently. I hope you like this chapter, it's longer than other's cause there's so much I wanted to put out there.

Warnings: Blood, graphic description of injuries, angst.

Summary: Just a chapter where everyone gets to know reader better.

Series Masterlist

X--X--X--X--X

As it turns out, the team building activity that you were dreading turned out to be Jenga. While unsure how it built team character, it did work on making your more comfortable with the rest of the team. Due to you still being new to the team, you had requested a month to work out by yourself so that you could get back into shape. As horrible as the scientists had been, they did teach you an efficient way to get into peak performance. Working out from 12am till 5am everyday was good enough. Within the third week, you had already noticed the definition of your muscles, you’d put on pure muscle mass, and your stamina plus healing ability enabled you to sprint approximately 20 miles without stopping. It was going well until one day, you were working on the punching bag and were so focused that you lost track of time. It was 7 am when Natasha and Steve returned from their daily run and saw you workout. You hadn’t noticed them due to the music playing out loud. Natasha, however, saw you and immediately ran towards you. You were brought out of your headspace when you saw Natasha grab your arms, unshed tears forming as she stared at your hands. Steve stepped closer and was horrified to find the ground and punching bag covered in blood. Upon closer inspection, he found your hands caked in blood too. You looked at them confused.

“What?” You asked concerned, completely unaware of why they looked white as a sheet.

Natasha and Steve looked at you with wide eyes.

“Why are you covered in blood y/n?” Natasha asked, letting go of your arms now that you’d stopped punching the bag and brought them to her sides.

You looked even more confused.

“I was going to clean it up when I was done?” You said uncertainly.

“Is this… common for you?” Steve asked slowly.

You hesitated for a moment. Natasha seeing your clear discomfort of being caught off guard came up with an idea.

“How about this, y/n cleans up the gym and herself and then the 3 of us can sit together and figure out a.. neater way of you working out?” She suggested.

Before you could say anything, Steve agreed and the two of them walked out. Grumbling you started to clean.

The first thing you noticed was Natasha staring at your hands as you sat down. You leaned towards her and put your hand on her cheek. You didn’t fail to notice the way she almost leaned into your hand.

“I’m completely fine, Nat” You reassured her.

She looked at you with a vulnerability that took your breath away. It was at that moment that Wanda entered the kitchen. She paused as she noticed the two of you, you started to lean back but froze when Nat grabbed your hand and brought it back to her cheek.

“Please” she said, “I need to know you’re okay.. there was so much blood..”

Wanda frowned. Whether she was upset or confused, you weren’t entirely sure. She walked towards the two of you and sat down next to Natasha. Natasha didn’t break eye contact even when Wanda gently rubbed her lower back. You brought your other hand to Natasha’s face and leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead. This seemed to reassure her greatly as her shoulders relaxed.

“I promise you, I’m completely okay” You said softly.

Your eyes darted to Wanda for a second, expecting protectiveness or anger but all you were met with was a warm look of concern that melted your heart.

“I’ll explain everything” you thought loudly. 

Wanda nodded her head, indicating she’d heard you. While you’d given her explicit permission to read your thoughts at any given time, she was still hesitant to do so. The three of you stayed like that for a few more minutes until you heard someone’s footsteps nearing. You could physically see Natasha’s walls coming back up, Wanda too. You sat back in your chair but held Natasha’s hand underneath the table. She gently squeezed in gratitude, her face showing nothing. Steve entered the kitchen and faltered when he saw the three of you sitting in silence looking at him with the exact same expression. Clearing his throat, Steve sat down next to you on the opposite side of Natasha. He looked at you expectantly. If he was confused by why Wanda was here, he didn’t show it. 

“I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about what happened in the training room?” Steve asked gently.

You took a deep breath and began.

“Okay so, shortly after I.. um.. got my power.. I went to the hospital in a different country and immediately began to heal patients with chronic and terminal illnesses. Cancer, ALS, Alzheimers, and so on. Unfortunately that gained the wrong kind of attention. The government had kidnapped me and taken me straight to a remote facility. They um.. tested the limits of my self healing. They’d break bones, cut off limbs, electrocute, and do a bunch of other things.”

You were unable to meet anyones eye-line, your body remembering each and every single thing they’d done. It was another side effect of the power you gained. While most people tended to forget the physical pain their body experienced over time, your body learned and remembered every single feeling it went through. Every cut, tear, burn. You could feel it all the moment you tried to remember it. Your body won’t ever lot you forget. Wanda had heard your thoughts and had to use everything in her power not to start bawling the moment those images came to your mind. Her grip on Natasha’s lower back tightened, she relayed what she’d heard to Natasha in her mind and felt Natasha’s body stiffen as she registered what happened.

You looked up as Natasha’s grip on your hand tightened, only to see the two women barely holding it together. Realising what transpired, you let out a weak smile and continued.

“Once they realised there was no limit to my regenerative capabilities, they attempted to train me for combat. They’d get fighters to take turns beating me into submission for hours on end until I learned to defend myself. I um.. I’m not good at combat.. So they tried to train me for um.. you know what, never mind. Basically they taught me to train past my body’s limits by constantly healing myself. They did it for years on end until it was ingrained into me. So yeah.. That’s why you saw what you saw..” You concluded.

“I’m so sorry, detka” Wanda whispered in your head.

“It’s alright, it’s in the past” you replied

“I can help train you in combat.” Steve said. “You could become a vital part of the attack te-“

Natasha scoffed, bringing his attention to her. He leaned back startled as he saw Natasha glaring at him and Wanda’s furious eyes glowing red. Both of them had the urge to throw him through the nearest window. You merely stared at him in shock. Tears made their way down your face. You withdrew your hand from Natasha’s and stood up.

“I’m sorry I need to go” you muttered, and hurried out of the room.

“Y/n” Wanda called out but it was too late, you were out of earshot. Natasha continued to glare at Steve.

“You ever suggest that again that again and I’ll test just how strong your healing factor is.” Natasha spat, standing up abruptly.

“I just meant-“ Steve tried to defend.

“We don’t care.” Wanda stated firmly. “She just told you what she went through and you thought of weaponising her just like those assholes.”

“Langua-“

“Don’t” Natasha warned.

She walked away before Steve could plead his case. Wanda glared at him one last time before following her out.

“FRIDAY” Natasha called out. “Where is y/n right now?”

“I believe Miss Y/n is one the roof.” FRIDAY stated

Holding hands, Natasha and Wanda made their way to the roof. Natasha reflected back to how she felt when she saw y/n work out and their interaction in the kitchen. She felt a little scared. The red room had trained her to always be in control, regardless of whether it was in bed or any interaction with others. Sure, she pretended to be submissive in front of her targets, but she was just toying with them. Even with Wanda, she was in control. But y/n.. that girl was something else.. For the first time in Natasha’s life, she wanted to give up control. She felt so safe and comfortable giving up control in y/n’s presence. It scared her but also excited her. 

Since the sun had already started to set, the cold had set in. Being Russian and Sokovian, the cold didn’t bother them that much. The were, however, concerned about y/n. She wasn’t from a cold country. Natasha was glad to see that Wanda had brought a blanket without any prompt. When you didn’t acknowledge their presence, they slowly sat down on either side of you. Wanda draped the blanket over the three of you. While she didn’t say it out loud, she secretly enjoyed the feeling of the three of you cuddled together. She knew Natasha definitely felt the same, she just hoped you did too. The girls simultaneously rested their head on your shoulder, both surprised to feel muscle instead of bone. The rigorous workout must be effective.

“I have a request” Natasha started.

You hummed in question.

“From now on, could you please train with either me or Wanda? We won’t train combat, We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with. Just, please don’t push us away.” She said.

Your head turned to her, only to notice the lack of space between your faces. Your eyes flitted down to her gorgeous lips and back. Natasha’s heart stuttered at the action, waiting for your next move. You looked away into the distance and nodded.

“There’s something you should know.” You confessed. “I didn’t tell you the whole truth downstairs.”

When you were met with silence, you continued. 

“After they realised no matter what torture they used, I would refuse to fight and hurt others. They tried to train me to do suicide missions.. I.. they would strap bombs to my chest and blow me up as I walked to targeted spots as training.”

Both of the girls held your hands as tears made their way down your face.

“It hurt so much” you croaked. “The feeling of my body being torn apart and nerves slowly growing.”

Unable to take anymore, you let out a sob. Immediately Wanda enveloped you in a hug, Natasha doing the same until you were sandwiched between them.

“No one is going to test on us” Wanda whispered. “Not anymore.”

You continued to sob into her shoulder as they whispered words of comfort in your ear. Eventually, you found yourself laying down between the two women. The warmth their bodies provided and the exhaustion of your mind caused you to fall into a deep sleep. For some reason it was the best sleep you’d ever had.

The dynamic between the three of you had completely changed after that night. They were definitely your best friends. No matter how much you wished they could be more, but they were together. They didn’t need you in their relationship, you’d just hold them back. You didn’t let that bother you, no matter how guilty you felt at times during movie night when the two insisted you sit besides them. A week later Steve came up to you as you were eating breakfast.

“I’m really sorry y/n. It was incredibly insensitive of me to suggest what I did that night” he said. Natasha was reading on the sofa, but you could see her eyes on Steve, intently listening to what he was saying.

“It was never my intention to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. You absolutely do not have to train combat if you don’t want to. We all value you as a team member just the same.”

You slowly nodded your thanks. While you appreciated his apology, you were more nervous about your first workout session with Wanda and Natasha. They said they both wanted to be there for your first time as a group workout.

You entered the gym and noticed that the two women had already started working out, Wanda doing squats while Natasha was stretching. Your jaw dropped as you witnessed the two working out in their sports bra and tights. Natasha’s toned abs on display as she did the cobra pose. Your eyes shifted to Wanda and your knees felt weak. You saw sweat make its way down her neck and get lost into her cleavage. Feeling like a pervert for staring you cleared your throat and mentally cursed yourself. Both of them paused what they were doing and started walking towards you. Wanda grinned in excitement while Natasha smiled welcomingly.

“Alright y/n. Why don’t you tell us what your workout looks like and we’ll figure out a safer way to get the same results? Maybe Wanda and I can help spot you too.” Natasha asked.

“Oh cool. Okay, so basically, I run for a little bit. Then I do some strength training, followed by some bag work” you replied, already starting to stretch.

“Perfect, we can join you in running, I was planning on doing legs today, maybe we can workout together?” Wanda suggested. You nodded in agreement and the three of you walked to the treadmills.

“What speed are we running at?” Natasha asked off handedly.

Without thinking “We’ll start with 20 kmph and go from there?” You said, increasing the speed and began running. 

Wanda froze. Refusing to back down, she started the treadmill and began running at full speed. 5 minutes later Wanda was panting, slowing the treadmill down and looking at the other two in amazement. She noticed Natasha wasn’t doing to great either. Around 10 minutes later Natasha slowed down, unable to maintain the pace. Natasha’s face burned as she realised you had unintentionally outlasted both her and Wanda. She spared a glance at Wanda and that little shit had the audacity to smirk. Natasha looked to her right to see you and to her amazement, you were in a full out sprint. Natasha’s jaw dropped to see that you had been running at 35kmph all this while. An hour later, neither of them had the energy to continue running and got off the treadmill. Both of them stunned at the fact that you hadn’t changed your pace for a single second in the past hour. Wanda cleared her throat, brining you out of your focus. You slowed down and stopped, hopping off the treadmill and walking towards them. While you were breathing heavily, you looked nowhere near as exhausted as the other two felt. You smiled at them brightly.

“Time for some strength training?” You asked genuinely.

Wanda glared at you as she sat on a bench, gulping some water. You noticed their exhausted state and knelt towards Wanda.

“Can I help” you asked gently.

Tilting her head in confusion, she nodded. You slowly grabbed both hands and closed your eyed. Wanda gasped as she felt a warmth envelope her. Her soreness exhaustion dissipate and energy enter her entire body. When you let go, Wanda stood up and twisted a couple of times. She felt better than ever before. Not a hint of exhaustion throughout her body. Natasha watched in amazement at the change in her girlfriend, even her slight dark circles had disappeared.

“Is this how you feel all the time?” Wanda asked in awe.

You chuckled. “Not exactly” you replied.

Before Wanda could inquire further, you turned to Natasha and asked for permission. She nodded, blushing slightly when you took her hand. Natasha, too, gasped when she felt warmth take over. Her muscles relaxing. Even the ache she’d been feeling in her knee vanished. She almost whined when you stepped back, the warm feeling throughout her body slowly dissipating. You hadn’t realised what happened but Wanda did. Natasha saw Wanda give her a smug smile. 

You were about to walk to the free weight section when Natasha asked if the group could use the squat rack instead. Shrugging, you made your way to them. Unfortunately, your oversized sweatshirt kept on getting stuck to the squat rack. Sighing, you removed your sweatshirt. Leaving you in a full sleeved compression t-shirt and loose sweatpants. Wanda and Natasha completely froze as they saw you.

“Holy shit” Natasha thought.

“I agree” Wanda replied in her mind.

Your bulging muscles were on display, your muscular arms stretching the compression t-shirt. Natasha totally wasn’t staring at your abs and Wanda was definitely not staring at your arms. You paused, smirking when you noticed why the two were silent. You walked towards Natasha, lifted your finger to close her jaw. Her face flushed at the action.

“You’ll let flies in if you keep doing that” You teased with a smirk.

Wanda shamelessly stared at your sculpted back, looking away only when you started walking back to the squat rack.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you drooling, Wands” you stated, starting to workout.

It was Wanda’s turn to blush and Natasha to smirk. The rest of the workout went surprisingly well, neither of them commented on how heavy you were lifting for all of the exercises. At first, Natasha thought you were showing off for them but quickly quelled the thought as that was definitely not the kind of person you were. It was one of the things she lo- liked about you.

Post workout everyone went to their respective rooms and got ready for dinner. The training session ended up taking 4 hours.

As usual, you were a little late. Everyone was already sitting down, ready to eat. Wanda insisted to wait for you, to which they reluctantly agreed. You entered the room and your heart warmed as you saw Natasha and Wanda had saved a seat for you between the two of them. As you were about to sit down, your eyes fell on the robot sitting at the table. You froze when you saw what was on his forehead. A gasp left your lips, bringing everyone’s eyes to you. Wanda stood quickly, walking to you. Alarm bells ringing in her head as she felt shock, anger, and most of all grief rolling off you in waves. Thor, not picking up on your mood merely introduced you.

“The Vision, this is lady y/n. She’s the newest addition to our team. Lady Y/n, this is the vision. A synthezoid creat-“

“Thor shut up for a second” Nat interrupted. “Detka, what’s wrong?” She asked you.

You raised a trembling finger towards Vision.

“Why do you have that fucking stone” You gritted out.

“I am unaware of what you mean” Vision said, confused.

“That stone.” You seethed. “Killed my sister.”

X--X--X--X--X

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!

Taglist: @marvelwomen-simp @nothanksbye07 @jono723 @luadyjcmd @alexawynters

[pro-logue-epi-logue]

RANDOM DEVIL'S NIGHT THOUGHTS

~NUMBER 18~

Devil's Night-

Some things people forgets or pay less attention to:

1. Michael was also abused by his father.

2. Rika lost her father to accident but her mother to drugs and depression( she didn't die but she was not fine at all).

3. Banks mother made her steal things before she lived with the torrance's.

4. Banks mother SOLD her to damon when she was 12.

5. Damon saved Winter from an abusive family.

6. Damon saw all kinds of horror by the age of 11 in his house.

7. Only person who cared about winter is damon.

8. Winter gets left behind because of being blind, by her own family and even by the "found family" gang.

9. In the entire series only Emory pushed Will to do better and be better.

10. Will would have dies by 30 if Emory would not have came in the picture again.

11. Emory's parents died when she was 11.

Her brother who was fun suddenly became the thing of her nightmares.

She was abused financially, emotionally, physically and mentally for years.

12. Emory's abuse started when she was 11 and did not stop until she was 18 all of her formative years revolved around abuse.

13. Everytime Martin used to hit emory and she was brused or bleeding NO ONE used to put medication on her, NO ONE.

14. 11 years old Emory used to go to school with bleeding wounds or bruised body.😭😭

15. Emory only used to get hugs from her grandma even that stopped when she was 14.

16. Emory Scott lived a hellish life of abuse, got out of that house, got a better education and then became an ARCHITECT but it was always overlooked.

17. Emory was probably alone at her college graduation.

18. Emory fell in love with Will when she was 16 but had to let him go because she knew he would never understand her trauma( he didn't even when he was 26) and she would only bring him pain.

19. Emory always considered Alex as a friend but Alex was never a friend to Emory.

20. When Emory was getting rape threats( more than 4, yes i kept a count), was bleeding and getting brused, aydin was playing with her mind and rory wanted her to die, while not knowing anything about those boys, Alex was hiding safely in blackchurch, knowing what aydin can do, how taylor was a vile rapist and rory was a serial killer, and she called herself a "friend" of Emory.

21. Alex could have easily found 2 minutes to show herself the first day Emory arrived at blackchurch and explain everything, but she didn't, until she realized Aydin liked Emory, and she was jealous.

22. Alex was not planning to take Emory back to Thunderbay with them, hence not telling anyone about her from her satellite phone.

23. Alex was neither a good friend to Will nor to Emory.( she came to blackchurch for aydin, told a legit addict how she preferred him drunk, don't even get me started on how bitch she was to Emory example hitting a abuse survior even completelybeing aware of emmy's abuse).

24. Alex was always jealous of Emory and hated her all throughout Nightfall for no reason. (Will was literally in love with her since emory was 13,

Aydin whom Alex loved ignored her and never respected her in 7 years but respected Emory in 1 day and was a friend to emmy in blackchurch.

Micah and Rory were acting like brothers to emory within knowing her for only 1 day.

Will wasn't giving Alex time of the day in blackchurch and thinking of emmy

Emory faced life of difficulties but made something of her, architect, but alex hated what she did.

Emory had no one with her but was still standing strong but alex had the support of the friends and would be nothing without them

Emmy didn't need anyone but alex did

Every single boy in blackchurch respected and wanted to be close to emmy and save her but Everyone was ignoring alex, literally micah and rory didn't even gave her 1 look).

25. Alex was in love with Will and wanted to marry him.

26. The friend Will was to Alex he was never to Emory.

27. Will never understood Emory and her abuse.

28. Alex hated Emory but was fake acting as a friend and always looked down on Emory's and never leaft a chance to show her down( everyday she was visible in blackchurch,

Everytime aydin looked at emmy,

The entire train ride,

And even after the train ride in some scenes).

29. Alex COMPARING her difficulty life to Emory a literal surivor of child abuse and trauma was the most Shittiest thing.

( i get it alex had seen bad times butttttttt alex was thrown out of college when she was 18, started working as a luxury escort at 19,

But emmy lost her parents at 11,

Got brutally abused EVERYDAY from 11 to 18,

Lost the love of her life at 16,

Had to take care of her grandma since she was a child herself,

Had to make all adult decisions as a child.)

30. Alex thought Will was in love with her too.

31. Emory was more like Damon than anyone. Literally they are the 2 sides of same coin.

32. Emory at 16 always thought she will bring will down with her problems and he deserves to always smile so she let him go.

33. When emmy saw damon bury a body her first instinct was not to run but asked him if Will had anything to do with it.

34. Alex was going to use Will as plan B and marry him to make aydin jealous and make him feel less.

35. Emory was abused financially, emotionally, physically and mentally for years.

36. Emory had no one to lean on since she was 11 to she was 25, thats 14 YEARS!

37. Banks was the knly girl in a house full of gangsters and criminals.

38. Both Emmy's and Will's reaction after seeing a dead body is to dump it in ocean.

39. Will thought of Emory the first time he drowned and the second time too just like he did the third time.

40. Will was never in love with Alex.

41. Aydin had to fight his entire abusive family for Alex but when he came back She acted as if she was the only victim( as always).

42. Aydin was someone else's boyfriend when Alex wanted him and Alex was her friend, just like she wanted Will knowing full well Will and Emmy have a thing and just like she was Emmy's "friend".

43. Emory don't remember her parents.

44. Rika and Alex wanted the horseman validation. Seriously they were drooling for it.

45. Emory and Banks has no respect for The horseman. (Okay we all know this).

46. Kai got the biggest daddy issues.

47. Pd's decision to insert Alex in Nightfall was completely stupid, it ruined the book. WILLEMMY'S BOOK SHOULD HAVE BEEN THEIR ONLY!

48. Rika and Alex are not girls girl.

49. Rika knew Damon wanted to hurt Winter still didn't do anything.

50. Emmy was the only person someone can rely on.

51. Will knows how to tattoo someone and he tattooed most of his tattoos himself when he was in jail.

52. Both best friends Damon and Will are stalker they both stalked their Love interests. I mean guys Damon was is Winter's house and Will... this guy knew EVERYTHING about Emmy, on Saturday she works all day at gazebo, she gies to school, gazebo and her house not other places, her with her grandma.

[tldrthor]

The Princess (ATCSBWH): Part III

Summary: A training session with the Captain, Bucky and Sam goes wrong for the princess. She grows more tired by the day. Unwelcome guests arrive, and mess up Tony's lawn.

Part 3 // Attention. The perimeter has been breached. // word count: 2.5k

part one | part two | my masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's been way too long since we've had a job." Bucky stated matter-of-factly. Sam hummed in response, taking a sip from his coffee. Cap wasn’t entirely sure why they were sitting in the office while he had work to do, considering the two of them very rarely did any of the paperwork they were supposed to. He didn’t mind picking up the slack, but they were very distracting. He was already working double time to try and make it through the ever-growing stack before it got completely unmanageable. 

He didn't look up from the desk, rolling his eyes. "It's been too long since you've had a job, Buck. I've had plenty to do."

Bucky huffed and exchanged a look with Sam. "You're behind because you've been spending a lot of time with you-know-who."

“Man’s got a point,” chimed Sam. “You’ve not been doing your paperwork, and you’ve been neglecting us. We haven’t trained all together since before (y/n)’s arrival.” His tone was joking, but Steve could tell there was a hint hidden within the joke. The captain’s eyes snapped up in a playful warning glance to his friend. "I've been helping to get the Princess settled in and nothing more, if that's what you're implying. That is part of my job."

Sam and Bucky both scoffed. "Yeah, like wandering around the lake and chatting for hours at a time is a chore. Tell it to Peter, who you ‘settled in’ by making him train every day.”

“You’ve gone soft, Stevie.” Bucky teased.

Steve smirked and shook his head. “Fine, let’s train later today. I’ll invite the princess, see if she wants to join.”

Both men seemed happy at the compromise. 

“Now, guys. I’ve got so much to do, please go and bother someone else. I think I saw Parker coming back from school, why don’t you go hassle him?”

The two guys exchanged a glance, shrugged, and nodded at each other. “Sounds good.” And they were gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dark water of the lake was rejuvenating. If she closed her eyes, it was almost like she was back on Alfheim, in the crystal waters of the palace pools. The biting cold helped rest her racing mind.

As she floated, eyes closed, delicate raindrops tickled her legs and arms. The wind whipped around her, it’s cold embrace wholly welcomed. She thought of home. Of her family. Of the fact that she was now back alongside the lost love of nearly a century ago.

As she felt the sadness creep into her mind, she realised that she was sore. Her body ached and the bags under her eyes grew by the day. She found as she sat with the others watching films or listening to music, she drifted into a deeper and deeper sleep each time. She feared the Alfsleep was coming for her… It made sense. The last few months had been nothing short of nightmarish. Her hand unconsciously moved to the stab wound on her collarbone as she recounted the attack of that night, and her escape to Asgard.

Steve watched her from the side, not wanting to disturb her peace but wanting to invite her to train with them. From what Thor had said, she had fought in battles with her people's military, and was a prolific warrior. Thor had also called her a magician, and Steve almost didn't want to know what that meant.

"Princess!" He called. 

She didn't hear him, continuing to float. He splashed his hand into the water, hoping that her enhanced hearing would pick up the disturbance in the water.

It worked. She startled, her head lifting from the water. Her features softened as her eyes landed on him. 

He smiled, softly, his eyes crinkling. She loved that smile – a boyish charm that greatly reminded her of her Steve, from before. The boy who went into the ice. 

The memory of that day burned across her memory like a hot poker. She pushed it down.

She moved through the water towards him like something akin to a nymph, a spirit of the water. It was almost as if the water parted for her, she barely made any ripples at all as she moved.

"Good morning, Captain." She greeted him, as he held a hand out to help her onto the dock. She shivered slightly upon leaving the water, quickly covering herself with her towel.

"Good swim?" He asked.

She pulled her coverup over her head, slipping on her sandals to walk back to the living quarters. "It was lovely, thank you." There was a sadness to the kind smile she offered him, that Steve found himself frowning at. He didn't pry.

"Good, good.” He examined her features, finding no answers in them. He continued; “Buck and Sam want to do some training today since it's been a while since we've had a job, I was wondering if you would like to join?" They walked together step by step. 

"I would love to join." She smiled. To be honest, she was so tired. She wasn't sure she would perform her best, or even really had the energy for it, but she would never be so rude as to deny an invitation made in earnest.

They wandered back to the facility, mostly small talking about the weather, and how their mornings had been. Steve commented on the fact she had gone to bed very early the night previous, and asked if she was feeling any better. She nodded politely. It was a lie.

"Well, I'll let you get ready. Join us in gym two when you're done?"

She bowed her head politely, and turned to get changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sight she saw upon entering the gym was quizzical. Sam opened and closed his hand, shaking it as if injured. Bucky held his top up, in order to show his abs. Steve stood with an incredulous look, clearly disapproving of the two’s activities. 

(Y/n) tilted her head in confusion.

“I told you, that’s abs of steel.” Bucky laughed as Sam cursed and continued to inspect his hand, as if broken. As soon as they noticed the princess in the doorway, Sam straightened his back and stopped waving his hand in the air. Bucky dropped his t-shirt, but laughed at Sam’s sudden change in demeanour.

“Oh, hey Princess. I didn’t see you there.” Sam smiled sweetly. 

Bucky laughed, “Yeah, obviously.” He turned to her; “You ready to train?”

Steve stepped up upon the princess nodding to Bucky’s question; “I’ll spar with (y/n) first.” 

The princess noted that he was using her real name, rather than just ‘princess’ more and more now. It made her happy, more settled here. Plus, she wasn’t sure if there was even a planet for her to rule over now. She couldn’t think that way.

She stepped into the ring, the ropes kindly held open by Sam. 

“We’ll go easy first, okay?” The captain kindly offered. 

The princess smiled, a radiant smile that made Steve’s face blush almost imperceptibly. Almost. “I don’t need you to go easy on me, Captain.” They laughed together.

“Okay, go.” Bucky and Sam watched on as neither of them wanted to make the first move. They both held their hands in defensive positions, circling. Each had their eyes narrowed on their opponent, observing every change in musculature, every breath the other made. 

Sam hadn’t fully believed the stories Steve and Bucky had told him about this young woman taking down entire squadrons on her own, but in the way she moved, she resembled a viper.

She struck. A blur towards him, going for his mostly unguarded torso. He blocked her, barely. Both Sam and Bucky suddenly realised this was not going to be as straightforward as they thought.

“Okay…” Steve muttered. He made his first offensive move, a slower-than-normal right hook towards her shoulder. She not only blocked, but used the momentum from blocking to flow into her opposite shoulder, and land a pretty heavy hit on his side.

“Woah.” Commentary from the sidelines was unheard by either of the sparring pair.

A blow from the princess, blocked. A retaliation from the Captain, dodged. It went on like this for a while, neither having enough fire to really finish the fight. 

Attack. Dodge. Kick. Punch. Block. Hit. Dodge. Move.

The princess faked to the right, blocked an incoming right-hook, sank to the floor and swept his leg out from under him. He hit the deck with a hearty oof, lying on his back. The princess stood over him, her chest rising quickly up and down, her face glowing. 

She spoke quietly: “If we were truly fighting, my dagger would be at your throat.”

Steve wouldn’t admit out loud that the way she said it gave him goosebumps. 

“Damn, that’s cold.” Sam uttered quietly. Both men giggled at Steve’s perplexed look. 

(Y/n) held out her hand, and helped her partner up.  “You got me.” Steve smiled politely. 

“Come on now, Captain. I know you pulled your punches. Fight me seriously.”

He tentatively agreed, readying himself again.

Sam called the start of the fight. They began quicker this time, Cap trying to do as he was told, and fight seriously. He swung for her side, landing the blow. It was a little harder than he had meant to.

“Oh god, I’m sorry –” before he could finish his sentence, she landed a rough kick to his side and sent him off kilter.

“Do you apologise on the battlefield, Captain?” She teased as she moved around him. Everything was happening so fast.

They were landing more hits this time, blocking less efficiently in a more offensive fight than the last. She hit hard, and moved in such an unpredictable manner that Cap found it rather difficult to tell where she was going next. It was a fighting style that reminded Steve of his training sessions with the Asgardians.

He landed a blow to her hip, going low to try and gain more ground and block her onslaught of well-timed and executed hits and kicks. It worked, she gasped and took a step back. He saw an opening.

As his fist met her collarbone, she cried out. 

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. He thought. He had completely forgotten about her stab-wound right where he had landed that blow. You idiot. You've hurt her.

The princess’ knees buckled from the pain as he rushed forward to catch her. Bucky and Sam moved inside the ring as well as soon as they registered what was happening.

“Princess, I am so sorry. I forgot about your wound.” Cap sat her on a stool passed to him by Bucky. The princess was much more pallid than before, resembling nearly a shade of green.

“It’s alright, Captain. Please don’t worry about it.” She said through gritted teeth, her hand not leaving her wound. Blood red soaked her flowy shirt like ink. 

“(Y/n), you’re bleeding quite a lot. I think we should get you to medical.” Sam, snapping into responsible mode, picked up one of the clean towels and pressed it firmly to her wound. Steve took her other arm, and they gently led her to the medical wing. 

Steve didn’t think he had ever hated himself more than he did now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So you’re all restitched and ready to go.” Dr. Cho smiled, rapidly pressing the keyboard on her tablet. “But no more training, okay?”

The princess nodded in promise, and the captain winced shamefully.

Turning to him, the princess spoke; “I’m sorry I ruined your training session, Captain.”

“No! No, it was me. I completely forgot you were stabbed a couple of weeks ago. I got too caught up in the fight. I’m sorry.”

“Then I suppose we are both sorry.” She smiled at him. He smiled back. “Would you mind escorting me back to my chambers? The beeping from the machines is incredibly loud.”

He hadn’t even noticed the gentle noise coming from the various pieces of equipment around them, but he nodded and obliged, helping her up. He stabilised her with the  arm that hadn’t been put in a sling. Dr. Cho had taken to completely immobilising even the smaller wounds as she had discovered that it helped remind the Avengers that they were not to move.

It would be indecent of him to admit that, actually, the feeling of her skin on his skin sent electricity running through his veins. A memory flashed across his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His heart fluttered as they entered the bar. He watched, entranced, as she appeared from behind Agent Carter.

Her hair was pinned perfectly, her otherworldly glow radiating from her wonderful smile. She wore a gorgeous, flowy dress that on anyone else would be unstylish. But on her, it was perfect.

"God, you're smitten!" Bucky watched the way Steve's face never moved from the girl who had just walked in. Steve had had crushes before, sure, but this was something else.

"Yeah, I am." He smiled.

And what's worse is he could see it in the dame's face too.

"Hi." She breathed, a nervous aura surrounding her shining smile. He, ever the gentleman, offered to take her coat, and gently hung it up at the door.

"Bucky, this is Agent (y/l/n)." Bucky smiled and said hi politely, turning on his usual charm. "And this is Agent Carter." Steve introduced both of them.

"Call me (y/n)." The first woman shook his hand. The other said hello, and quickly ordered a drink and left to sit down with the commandos.

"Nice to meet you, (y/n)." He raised a glass to her, and then left the lovebirds to their business.

The band struck up in a wonderfully jazzy song. The bar cheered, the howling commandos joining in with the lyrics. They clinked their drinks together, and shared a drink, before setting them back down on the bar.

Steve leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Yes, please." She replied.

When she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around her waist, he thought it would feel awkward. He thought it would require getting used to. But it was the most natural feeling in the world. Like this, this moment, was where he was always supposed to be. If the string of fate existed, he had reached it's origin. Her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you want to go to your room? I would rather you be somewhere we can keep an eye on you.” Steve spoke more assertively than he had with her since her arrival. 

“I am very tired, Captain. I promise I will be more than okay, Dr. Cho has fixed the stitches that were ruptured. I will report to you first thing tomorrow, you have my word.” 

He tensed his jaw in deliberation, but eventually agreed. “Okay, but please tell FRIDAY to fetch one of us if you need anything.”

“Of course, Captain. Good night.” She bowed her head in curtsy, entering her bedroom and closing the door behind her. After a few, long seconds, she heard his footsteps echo down the hall. 

She breathed out a long, shaky breath. The darkness on the edges of her vision started to creep inwards, the all-too-familiar feeling taking over her every muscle. Although she had only done this once, she knew exactly what was happening.

The Alfsleep.

“No…” She whispered to nobody, landing on the floor. Her vision faded and her breathing slowed, knowing it was futile to resist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How is she?” Bucky asked as Steve entered the kitchen, a forlorn and guilty look on his face. He walked over to the fridge, took out some milk, and drank it straight from the bottle. He ignored Tony and Natasha’s exclaims of gross!

He placed the milk back in the fridge, and perched himself on one of the bar stools. “She’s okay, I think. Hurt. She seemed really tired, and I’m a little concerned, but when I tried to get her to be somewhere we could watch her, but she just wanted to go to bed.”

Buck and Sam nodded sympathetically to their friend.

“She’s been through a lot. Maybe she just needs space.” Sam offered helpfully. “Come on, that show you like to watch has released a new episode. We can watch it to get your mind off of it.”

Steve shuffled to the couch, slumping on to it with a defeated posture. Guilt was tearing at him, and Buck especially could tell. He squeezed his friend's shoulder in support, knowing that words wouldn’t help the storm in his brain right now.

Their peace was quickly disrupted by a siren and red, flashing lights.. 

Attention. The perimeter has been breached. Attention. The perimeter has been breached.

Each of them jumped into action, pulling concealed weapons from around the room and sprinting towards the armoury. Tony grabbed a tablet and projected the security footage into the room.

“Bucky, come with me. We have to protect the princess.” Cap ordered, immediately assuming the role of leader, as the others headed to investigate the breach and gear up. “Sam, bring our weapons and meet us at (y/n)’s room when you can.”

Sam nodded, as Bucky and Steve took off towards the princesses bedroom.

“Oh, shit.” Tony remarked, eyes glancing back and forth across the screen.

Three, dark spaceships, landed menacingly on the lawn. And a small army of Dark Elves in front of them. All out for the Princess' blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I'm so sorry this took so long, I've been really busy at university. Now that it's the holidays I'm going to try and get a few chapters of this story out before I go back to school in January!

As always, constructive feedback is super appreciated, I'm always trying to learn and improve. Even if you have any ideas for where the story could go, or any scenes! My anon asks are open should this be a preferred method of communication <3

Sorry for the long message!

TAGLIST

@aliciaasky @vicmc624 @jvdgement @megluv1 @moviegurl2002 @capswife @gothamlovr91 @hi172826 @hopefulbonkvoidland @silentscream2022 @rottentothecorey @jules-and-gemss @saturnhas82moons @yiiiikesmish @exposition-belongs-somewhere @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers

Thank you guys for your support! As always let me know if you want to be removed from my taglist <3 x

[talistheintrovert]

Hi, Talis! I have a bit of a random question - do you have any sort of 'starter pack' recommendations for Chinese dramas? (I've really been enjoying Mysterious Lotus Casebook, but haven't been sure where to go from there.)

oooooh, EXCELLENT question!!

If we're going via "these men are in love but [CENSORSHIP SIREN RINGS LOUDLY]" then I'd go for

Guardian: semi-modern sci-fi/fantasy featuring a chaotic bisexual detective and the all-powerful god-like uptight professor he bothers into loving him. 10/10, bonkers CGI and ridiculous side characters only add to the enjoyment

2. Sound of Providence/Ultimate Note (really any of The Lost Tomb series but these are my personal favourites). Three idiots that call themselves The Iron Triangle (said idiots are a genius, a wiseguy, and a semi-immortal amnesiac) and their various tomb-raiding adventures!

Also has iconic side characters, might I add. The chronology of this whole series is so baffling and ridiculous I may have to make a video about it, but these two series hold a special place in my heart - they came out within weeks of each other, but in one the characters are in their 40s and in the other they're like... 22? at most? ICONIC, BEAUTIFUL, SHOWSTOPPING-

also the genius and the immortal amnesiac are in love, and the wiseguy is basically their third, it's a whole thing

3. Under the Skin

modern day crime series, featuring a detective and an artist. The artist is a SAVANT who can basically draw ANYTHING he puts his mind to, but in the past it meant he accidentally got an undercover cop killed without knowing. A few years later, he decides to become a police sketch artist as repentance. Said cop was our detective's mentor, and he's still salty about it but OH LOOK, THEY'VE BEEN PARTNERED UP!

4. WORD OF HONOR

my favourite of the fantasy homoerotic dramas, and the one that inspired me to start writing a video essay about them. Two soulmates meet who are destined for nothing but misery - one is trying to destroy the entire martial arts world for revenge and the other is an ex-assassin who's chosen to die slowly as penance for his murders. Through each other (and their idiot adopted son) they find happiness, kinda. This show is part of why I liked Mysterious Lotus Casebook so much - very similar found-family vibes, except they start out as enemies in MLC, whereas in this they start out as reluctant allies.

non-extremely-homoerotic recs:

Love Story Between Fairy and Devil

Evil being who has been trapped in a magical prison escapes said prison by accidentally body-swapping with an innocent fairy, but even after they swap back, he's tied to her (feels pain when she does, etc.) and so has to keep her around against his will. Enemies to lovers gorgeousness.

2. 19th Floor

fantasy/sci-fi drama where a group of strangers get thrust into an AI world (in a good way, the way AI ACTUALLY MEANS) where if you get hurt in the game, you go into a coma in real life. Every level has a different extremely fucked up mechanic to solve, and the cast are an absolute delight, also the main male lead is played by one of my favourite actors, so I'm slightly biased. Extremely cuntslay show.

3. My Journey to You

A group of female assassins go undercover in a kingdom to apply to be wives to the royals in order to take them down from the inside but OH NO, MIGHT THEY ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE WITH THEIR TARGETS???? Also the female assassins are weirdly sapphic with each other, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and Esther Yu is one of the hottest women to ever exist and you may quote me on that.

gif from here: https://talistheintrovert.tumblr.com/post/730663645629054976 because it wouldn't let me do it properly (credit: @xiaolanhua )

4. You Are My Glory

dorky romance between two of the most stunningly beautiful people I've ever seen in my life, seriously, it's ridiculous. Their chemistry is good, the story is easy, and it's generally a fun, romantic watch.

5. Love You Seven Times

two gods(?) forced to live seven different lifetimes together because of a mishaps, it's glorious, it's gender envy, it's enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to friends to lovers excellence.

6. Till the End of the Moon

Did you like Love Between Fairy and Devil? then you'll LOVE this show, which has functionally the same plot, except that the female lead KNOWINGLY tries to seduce the future evil villain in order to either assassinate him or stop him from becoming evil, it's a coin toss for her. A brilliant show with fantastic performances and some of the best costume design on this list (which is a high bar, the costumes in all these shows serve unbelievable amounts of cunt).

I hope those are enough to keep you going for a little while! I'm always here to answer rec asks fr, it's one of my favourite things.

Anyway, I'm off to cross the nullabor, so I'll be out of range for the next few days, I hope you enjoy this nonsense!

[thesleepyfable]

~ SWTD: Still Here AU Part 23: ~

Reunions: Part 3:

The finale of this mini-arc. This chapter is one of the shortest I've done in a while because it felt like a good place to stop, and you'll see why.

Part 24:

With a flick of the switch, the light in the attic turned on. A simple fix. Thankfully, the fault was from the switch itself and not from the wiring. Also, the bulb was dead. It took less than an hour, so what did Caz do for the rest of the morning? Hide away in the attic so he wouldn't have to do anything else. Basically, what he did on The Beria.

Now, he was tempted to snoop through the dust-covered boxes, but sleep soon took over. 'Just an hour won't hurt,' he thought. But, that hour became several. With no windows to project natural light, Caz had no idea what time it was when he eventually stirred. All he noticed was that the room felt colder. Couldn't have been so long if no one came looking for him? Then he made it downstairs and glanced at the grandfather clock in the hallway as he walked outside. It was twenty past three.

Shit.

Wait. No. Caz knew he could pull it off. No one but him knew about electrics. No one knew what the fault was. He'll just make up a story about how he had to rewire the entire attic. Yes. That'll do. Time to go and find Muir. Wasn't he in the barn? The weight off his shoulders quickly vanished-

'UNCLE ROY!'

Caz's body tensed. His breath began to shake. Those voices. Cait. Maidie. His weens. They were here. Ignoring all sense of his surroundings, Caz dashed across the snow. He nearly ran over Trots, who watched with Simon. Muir, Raffs, Brodie, and Innes watched as they shared a smoke and a flask of coffee. Rennick and O'Connor watched from the other side of the cattle-guard. Addair and Gibbo shifted their attention from their families to see, and they did the same after a second or two. George, Elliot, and Richard stepped onto the porch. Caz kept running. Even when he slipped in the snow and rolled over, he was quick to get back on his feet. Nothing was going to stop him. Their figures stood with Roy. Their voices entered his ears. Caz's heart soared.

'CAIT. MAIDIE.' The girls turned and instantly ran towards him.

'Dad!'

'Daddy!'

'Cait...Maidie...' The three held their arms out, and as soon as he reached his daughters, Caz scooped them up in his arms and spun around with a laugh. 'I missed you so much.' He didn't waste any time kissing his children, as they hugged him with laughter, which he joined in on. Only, it wasn't out of joy, but relief. Of course, Caz was over the moon to see his weens, but seeing and embracing them in his arms brought back all the memories. The good. The bad. The last time he saw them. To reading their Christmas card. It all culminated to tears falling down Caz's face.

'Why. Why didn't I kiss your beautiful faces before I left?' No. 'How could I leave you?'

'Daddy? Daddy, please don't cry,' Maidie said with a slight panic in her voice. 'Aren't you happy to see us?'

'Oh, Maidie.' He kissed the top of her head. 'Of course I am. I'm just so happy.'

'But, you're crying.'

'And that's a good thing, trust me.' Caz wasn't the only one. Roy, with his hand over his mouth, cried at the sight. 'I promise, I'm not leaving you both again.'

'Caz.' Another voice that made Caz's breath shake. Suze. He turned and saw her face. It made his heart skip a beat. A small smile formed. She was as beautiful as the day he left. They could both feel the cloud that's been looming for months. It was still there. Caz set his girls down, wiped his eyes, and approached his wife. Within four steps, they embraced. It was tight, filled with all those lost days and regrets.

'My love,' Suze mumbled.

'My everything.'

They buried their heads into each other's shoulder, and just for a moment, nothing else mattered. The cloud was gone.

'Caz?'

'Hmmm?'

'Who's your friend that's staring at us?'

And there goes the moment, and in comes reality. With a small and quiet sigh, Caz pulled away and turned to Muir, who waited with anticipation, his face ridiculously close. Suze didn't react to his or the others appearance. They weren't exactly hard to spot, even when she was walking up the drive.

'Hello,' Muir said in a chipper tone whilst using a tendril to replicate a wave. Suze smiled, whilst Caz stifled a laugh.

Some introductions were in order.

'Eh, right, okay.' The others approached. 'Everyone, this is Suze. My beautiful missus.' Caz felt like he was back in school, expecting everyone to say 'Hello, Suze,' in unison, but he didn't care. There was clear pride in his voice. 'Cait and Maidie, my equally beautiful weens.'

'Finally, I can put a face to a name,' Addair joked, because for the longest time, he didn't believe Caz was married, or had a family. Treating him like a stray Cadal picked up in the middle of the sea. Caz had to hold back, giving him the middle finger. Not in front of the children, and not in front of their own missus.

'That's Addair. Engineer. This is Muir. He's letting us stay here until we sort some things out.' Caz began to point to each member and what they did on The Beria. '...And this is Rennick. Our site manager.'

For some reason, Rennick was surprised to be acknowledged. He shifted his eyes as Suze approached. Strange. Was he nervous? No. Rennick was never one to be nervous. True, he had no idea what Caz has been telling her in his letters, or when he got a turn in Administration to make a call. Through the grapevine, aka, whenever he overhead Caz and Roy talk about home, it was quickly established that Suze wasn't someone to mess with. Still, he held his head high, reflecting that fake politeness he would give new hires first stepping off the helipad. Only this time, he was trying to be genuine, but that was easier said than done. 'If I could extend a hand, I would.'

'It's fine. I just hope my husband didn't give you too much lip.'

Rennick forced a smile. 'None whatsoever.' A lie. Suze saw right through it but didn't say anything. Caz stared at his manager with wide eyes as he stood behind Suze, giving a look that said, 'Are you serious?'

'That's a relief.' Oh. Yes. She turned to Roy and gave him a hug, giving Rennick time to give Caz a shit-eating grin, who, in return, lightly elbowed him in the cheek. 'I'm still raging at you.' Roy didn't reply. 'But, you kept your promise. Thank you.'

'I always keep my promises, Suze,' he chuckled. He wasn't wrong. Finding the Light of the Lord really changed Roy over the past several years, as annoying as it was to hear him use it as an excuse. 'Now, go and be with Caz. I'll keep an eye on the girls.' He pulled away and drew his attention to Cait and Maidie. 'Right. Do you want Uncle Roy and Muir to show you the horses?'

'Yes, please!'

'Can Jack and the others come?'

'Of course,' Muir answered, kneeling down to their eyeline. 'But, beware of Spider. He bites.' He playfully chattered what was left of his teeth before picking the girls up with his tendrils and lifting them onto his back. Jack, George, Elliot, and Richard soon followed, with or without their parent's permission, and whenever they got close enough, Muir continued to hoist them up. Roy and Gibbo followed, just to be sure.

Caz and Suze watched before turning to each other. Everyone else began to disburse. Slowly, their hands locked.

'Are you ready?' Suze asked.

'Yeah,' Caz answered. 'I'm done runnin'.'

The cloud had returned. It was time to either let the rain pour or turn their sky blue.

[slytherin-princess-x]

Slytherinmas day 3- Meeting the parents — Tom riddle

Summary: Tom wants his parents to know he’s serious about you so, why not pretend to be married??

Word count: 768

Title: A Marriage of Convenience

Plot Summary:

As I stood in the mirror, adjusting my tie, the reality of what we were about to do hit me like a cold wave. I had always been known for my ambition and cunning at Hogwarts, but this—this was an unexpected turn of events. Why did I let Y/N convince me that pretending to be married was the best way to introduce her to my parents?

Despite my carefully curated exterior, my heart raced at the thought of facing my parents. They were not just any couple; they were powerful, influential, and had very high expectations for me. Especially regarding my relationships. I had always kept them at arm’s length, never bringing anyone home who could tarnish the Riddle legacy. But here I was, about to thrust Y/N into the very belly of the beast.

As she entered the room, clad in a sleek, black dress that accentuated her every feature, I felt a rush of emotions—admiration, affection, and dread. She exuded warmth and light, contrasting sharply with my cold, calculating demeanor.

“We have to pretend to be married,” I said, trying to keep my tone neutral. “Better get used to it.”

She smiled, a flash of mischief in her eyes. “I can do that. What’s the plan, Mr. Riddle?”

Her playful confidence lessened the burden itching at my heart. I outlined our scheme: We would introduce ourselves as a married couple during dinner at the grand Riddle estate, backed by a story I concocted about a whirlwind romance and a hastily arranged wedding. It was absurd, ludicrous even, but it was our best chance at convincing my parents that I was serious about her.

As we made our way to the estate, the anxiety began to creep back in. Y/N took my hand, her touch grounding me as we approached the imposing front doors. They swung open to reveal my mother, dressed impeccably as always, her sharp eyes scanning us with suspicion.

“Tom! And… Y/N. How lovely to see you both,” she greeted, barely masking her disdain. I could sense that she knew something was off, but as we exchanged pleasantries, Y/N effortlessly slipped into her role. She greeted my mother with a smile and an embrace that almost disarmed her.

Dinner was a spectacle of what my life could become—the Riddle family’s rich history lined the walls, and the atmosphere buzzed with an air of grandeur I often took for granted. Yet, as Y/N and I shared glances and subtle laughter, I found myself lost in her charm, fully engaged in a performance that felt oddly real.

“Tell us more about your life together,” my father inquired, his voice booming across the table.

In a split second, I was struck with the realization that he wouldn’t be satisfied with surface-level banter. Every question came with the intention of peeling back layers, exposing the truth beneath the facade. Y/N saved me with a story about our first encounter—an intricate tale filled with laughter and romance. Ad-libbing flawlessly, she painted a picture of our love that swept through the entire room.

As the night progressed, I found myself mesmerized by how she seamlessly became a part of my life, weaving her way into the fabric of my existence. My parents, enamored (or at least they appeared to be), began to warm up to her, exchanging approving glances. My heart strangely swelled with pride—I had never expected to feel this way, not about anyone, let alone under the guise of a fabricated marriage.

However, amid the feigned joy, a subtle underlying tension simmered within me. This charade couldn’t last; beneath the surface glimmer, I knew my parents were perceptive and liable to dig deeper into our supposed union.

As the evening drew to a close, Y/N and I found ourselves outside in the frosty air. The laughter of my parents faded into the background as the weight of reality set in. “What if they dig deeper?” I asked, turning to her with worry etched across my face.

She smiled, no hint of fear in her demeanor. “Then we adapt. We’re a team, remember?”

Her unwavering belief in us ignited a fire within me. Maybe this was more than just a ruse—maybe this was the beginning of redefining who we were, together. And as I took her hand once more, the night whispered promises of what could be, the warmth of her presence conquering the biting chill of doubt.

And as we made our way back into the estate, ready to face whatever challenge lay ahead, I realized that this pretend marriage could very well lead to something far more profound—and perhaps, genuinely real.

[ssinnerplazahotel]

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*Chapter Nine*

╰─..★.──────────╯

WC: 8k

Warning: 18+, age gap, smut, fluff, toxic elvis, manipulation, drug use, it’s the 50s/60s, painful-difficult-devastating-life-changing-extraordinary love

Pairing: elvis x black reader

Disclaimer: full of inaccuracies, inaccurate timeline, inaccurate depictions of Graceland, historically inaccurate themes and items

Masterlist: Prologue, Ch. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Time is a strange thing. It has a way of going by slowly and in a hurry all at the same time. It doesn’t wait for you or let you catch up. You discovered early on that if you focused too much on time it drifted by slowly. If you kept yourself busy and focused on other things it went by without you noticing too much. So you kept yourself as busy as possible.

Although you had plenty of money saved, you got a job within your first week of being in Atlanta. You waited tables at a small diner just a few blocks from the apartment you were renting.

It wasn’t the nicest apartment. It was above a family-owned restaurant and your landlord wasn’t the most forgiving woman in the world, but it was in the heart of the city and close enough to your job.

It wasn’t entirely without incident that you’d ended up there. When you arrived at the train station you’d decided to take the first train leaving that was going the furthest away.

Regardless, you didn’t regret the decision. It was a busy city, and you needed to be busy.

When you called Dawn that first night, from a hotel in the middle of a completely different state, she tore into for nearly thirty minutes. You were able to convince her that you were fine, and that you were doing what was necessary. You weren’t having a breakdown, you were trying to prevent one.

You didn’t expect to spend the next month searching for a place to be. That month of aimlessly wandering was unnerving, but now you were settling nicely in Georgia now.

You had left Memphis behind and you were gaining important life skills and managing your finances. It wasn’t the most ideal job, but you were able to throw yourself into your work everyday.

You were happy with the way things were going. And the more consumed you were with work and surviving, the less effort it took not to think about him.

You missed him every single day, a part of you always would. But it didn’t hurt as much anymore. The hole he left in your heart was still there, hollow but numb now.

“You got company, treasure,” Your coworker called out to you from the kitchen.

“Give me that sirloin, Chuck, I asked for it first.” You ducked your head to talk to him through the service window. “You get around like an old man.”

“You got one coming in hot,” He responded. “If you were nicer maybe you’d get your shit faster.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Looks like somebody’s lost,” Sinclair, a fellow waitress at the restaurant, said as she walked over to grab her order. You followed her gaze to the man taking a seat in your section. It wasn’t a segregated restaurant by any means, but only a certain demographic of people really ate there—this man, wearing a fancy suit and sunglasses in the middle of the night, didn’t fit into any of those boxes. “Let him know this ain’t Sterling’s.”

You laughed. “I might let him think it is for a big enough tip.”

“Speaking of big enough.” Sinclair called out to Chuck through the service window. “Where’s that sirloin?”

“Hey, next one’s mine.” You took your notepad and pen out of the front pocket of your apron. “I’m coming right back for it, Chuckles.”

“I’ll have it for you, treasure, don’t worry. I’m only one man.”

You rolled your eyes and made your way over to your section. You stopped to check on a few people before you made it to the man’s table. He wore dark shades even though it was nighttime and he kept his head down looking at the menu until you spoke.

“Hello,” You said, getting his attention before introducing yourself. “I’m going to be taking care of you tonight. What can I get started for you?”

He hesitated as he read your name from your name tag. He had an odd tone when he spoke but you couldn’t make out his expression behind the sunglasses.

“Yes.” You smiled politely, preparing to write. “What can I get started for you?”

“Well I’ll be, it is you.” He laughed. “What are you doin here?”

“I think you have me confused with someone else.” You smiled uncomfortably. “Just one of those faces~”

“Oh, no, it’s me.” He stood and removed the glasses.

“Joel?” Your stomach dropped. “Oh my god.”

Joel laughed, hugging you enthusiastically. “I haven’t seen you since you took off.”

You froze when he hugged you, uncomfortably patting his back with one hand before he pulled away. You glanced around the restaurant to see if anyone was watching, catching a few eyes before looking up at him again. “W-What are you doing here, Joel? Are you here with someone?”

“No, I’m alone.” He still looked stunned to see you.

“I-I hardly recognized you for a second,” You stammered.

“You look~ I mean~ you haven’t changed.” He laughed. “I only been out here a couple weeks or so with my parents.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my dad opened up a repair shop just off the highway.”

“Auto repair?” You presumed.

“Yeah, he wanted me up here with ‘im. He’s got me fixin cars all day.”

“Why Atlanta?”

“I guess he thinks city folk have more car trouble,” He chuckled. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Why here?”

You shrugged. “I just found myself here. No reason really.”

“It’s a strange city,” Joel said. “I don’t think I’ve slept a wink since I been here.”

“I guess that explains the sunglasses in the middle of the night?”

“Oh, yeah, not to mention that I’m so hungover I can’t see straight.” He smiled when you laughed. “I don’t get out much but I pay the price when I do.”

“Well, sit down, I’ll bring you some coffee.” You smiled and turned to walk away before he stopped you.

“Maybe we can catch up,” He said. “You’re the only familiar face I seen since I been here.”

“I’m working right now.”

“After?”

You hesitated. “I-I don’t know…”

His face fell slightly. “That’s fine, I understand.”

You felt bad about declining the offer. He was a familiar face and he’d had a good rapport with Dawn and you would consider him an old friend, even though you rarely ever spoke. “…I’m off in the next hour. If you’re willing to wait.”

“Yeah.” He nodded with a smile. “I’m not in any rush.”

You smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be right here,” He said, retaking his seat.

Sinclair looked at you with narrowed eyes as you walked over to the service window. “You know that man?”

“He’s an old friend,” You said, leaning down to talk to Chuck. “Give it to me, baby.”

“I got you,” He said. “Order up in five.”

“Order up now.” You walked away to pour up the coffee.

“How do you know him?” Sinclair asked as Chuck served her orders through the window.

“He knows my aunt,” You stated simply. “Why?”

“Just curious,” Sinclair said, checking her tickets. “Can’t I ask?”

“I never said you couldn’t.” You took your orders out of the window and loaded them onto a serving tray. “Thanks, Chuckles.”

“You’re welcome,” He said. “You gone in an hour?”

“I’m gone in forty-nine minutes.” You dropped your orders at your other tables before taking Joel his coffee. He ordered his food and you took the ticket back to Chuck.

The final hour of a shift was always the hardest to get through, but you managed to finish out strong. You set up the next waitron before clocking out in the back.

“See you tomorrow,” You called to Chuck and Sinclair, waving at a few coworkers on your way over to Joel’s table. He perked up a little when he saw you, closing one of the four travel pamphlets he was reading to pass the time. “You know anything about Vegas yet?”

“Not unless you’re interested in a Tropicana Holiday,” He said, holding up the brochure. “Three days, two nights.”

You smiled and sat down across from him, draping your coat over the back of your chair and sitting your purse on the ground beside you. “How’s your head?”

“Like it never happened.”

“Good.”

One of your coworkers approached your table. Her name was Monica, that was just about all you knew about her. “What can I get started for you guys?” She asked, eyeing the two of you strangely.

“Are you hungry?” Joel asked.

“I’m fine,” You insisted quickly.

“You should eat,” He argued. “It’s on me.”

“Joel, really, it’s fine.”

“I insist.”

He ordered you something off of the menu for you and Monica jotted down the order before walking away.

“You know I can’t let you pay for it,” You said when she was gone.

“Let me. Consider it a favor from an old friend.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

“I won’t let you.” He chuckled, pushing his hair out of his eyes. His blond curls still framed his face like they did when you first met him, though they were longer now—nearly dusting his shoulders. It made him look boyish even though his features were mature. “What made you leave Memphis?”

“I needed a change of scenery.” You had repeated the same lie to everyone you encountered, so much so that you were starting to believe it yourself.

“D’you still talk to Elvis at all?”

“Why would I?”

He shrugged indifferently and moved on. “I saw Dawn before I left.”

“You did?” You perked up a bit, grateful for the immediate change in subject. “How was she?”

“She was good, still workin at the house,” He said. “She’s the same old Dawn.”

Monica returned with your order and the two of you sat there talking until you finished eating. Joel was interested in hearing about the places you’d been to around the city and you were happy to tell him. You had more than enough stories to tell after being on your own for so long.

Thinking back, you weren’t sure how you’d done it. As you were recalling the memories you were also recalling how afraid and completely lost you were—fear had been the only thing you’d felt in months. You were so constantly afraid that you were used to it.

“You live near here?” Joel asked after paying the bill. “I can take you home.”

“I usually walk,” You said, grabbing your things and standing with him. “My place is just a few blocks from here.”

“I’ll walk you~”

“You don’t have to go out of your way~”

“I don’t mind, really. I want to make sure you get there alright.”

You couldn’t convince him to let you go alone, so the two of you left the restaurant together.

The entire night had been so surreal, you never expected to see anyone from Memphis again. “I can’t believe we ran into each other like this.”

“It’s funny. All these people and we still managed to bump into each other.”

You hummed in agreement. “I guess you stumbled into the right diner.”

“I guess I did.” Joel sighed. “I ain’t talked to anyone outside of my folks in a while.”

“I haven’t had time to make any friends.”

“It’s harder to make friends in the city.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “Back home, you step outside your house and you make all kinds of friends just from right there on your front porch.”

You laughed at that. “It was never that simple for me.”

“I’ve met some good people that way. You meet people everywhere here but you don’t know anyone.”

“So, what I’m hearing is that you hate Atlanta?”

“I don’t know…I think I’ll start to hate it less.”

After Joel dropped you off that night you didn’t see him again for a couple of weeks. You figured that you would see very little of him even though you were in the same state. However, he did show up again eventually.

“What are you here for? Another cure?”

“I’m sober as a judge.”

You laughed. “I would take your order but you just missed me. I’m off now.”

“Then I’m right on time.” He smiled. “I wanted to take a look at the old coupe deville. You were telling me about it.”

“You came to look at my car?” You asked incredulously. “It’s ten o’clock at night.”

“Time still doesn’t exist to me, I guess.” He shrugged sheepishly. “I understand if you have plans.”

“I don’t have any plans, Joel, it’s ten o’clock,” You said, making him laugh. “You don’t need an excuse to come see me, y’know?”

You meant it as a joke but Joel’s face still flushed slightly at your words. “Can I walk you home?”

“Just let me grab my stuff,” You said. “I’ll be quick.”

“You better be. It is ten o’clock, y’know?”

You cut your eye at him and walked to the back to get your things.

“Yo, treasure, that guy bothering you?”

“No, Chuck, didn’t I tell you he’s an old friend?”

Chuck scoffed and mumbled something under his breath before getting back to what he was doing.

“That white boy’s out there for you again,” Sinclair said, sauntering through the door.

“His name’s Joel,” You said.

“And what does Joel want with you?” She asked. “He’s been here three times now.”

“I think I know what he wants with her,” Chuck said, walking back out into the kitchen.

“Fuck you, Chuck.” You shrugged on your jacket and faced Sinclair. “He’s been here three times?”

“He came while I was covering your shift last week,” She said. “Speaking of, I’m gonna need you to return the favor. Wendell has a parent-teacher conference at school Friday night and Marc can’t make it.”

You nodded, distracted. “I can do Friday night.”

“It’s three to eleven, my usual.”

“I’ll make it work, don’t worry.”

Sinclair thanked you and wished you a safe trip home before getting back to her tables. You put on a smile as you met Joel, admittedly drained but not wanting to let it show.

“How was your day?” He asked, his hands shoved casually into the pockets of his acid washed jeans as you walked along the quiet sidewalk.

“Okay,” You responded. “Long.”

“I hear you,” Joel sighed.

“My coworker said you came by sometime last week,” You mentioned. “You weren’t looking for me were you?”

“I don’t know.” He smiled, embarrassed.

“Why were you looking for me?”

“I don’t~”

“You have to know. A person doesn’t just do things without knowing why.”

“I don’t know,” He said anyway, making you shoot him a glare. He laughed it off. “Maybe I wanted to see you.”

He looked away as he spoke, kicking at the loose rocks on the sidewalk.

“Is that bad?” He asked when you didn’t respond, still looking down at the sidewalk, watching the rocks as they skidded ahead each time he kicked them.

“No, I don’t think so,” You said. “Do you think it is?”

“I don’t know,” He said, laughing in realization. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to~”

“It’s fine.” You smiled.

“I was already out tryna to get away from my parents, so I figured I’d try you again today.”

“Do your parents smother you?” You asked.

“Oh yeah.” He heaved a sigh. You couldn’t tell if he was frustrated at the thought of his parents or relieved to be shifting subjects. “They always have. Mama’s terrible about it, and daddy—he does whatever she tells him to. They don’t think I can make it on my own.”

“I’m sure they do it out of love.”

“I know.” He brushed his hair out of his eyes. “Everything I do is to try and prove to them that I can take care of myself. I’m starting to think they’ll always see me as a kid.”

“You should talk to them,” You suggested. “If they love you enough they’ll hear you out and try to change.”

“You think so?”

“It’s worth the shot.”

Joel smiled. “This is why I like being around you. You always have something good to say.”

You laughed in denial. “I know how it feels to be stuck in a box and not know how to get out.”

“Your folks overbearing?” Joel asked.

“Dawn’s really my only family.”

“I remember you saying that,” He said with an apologetic expression. “It must be tough being on your own.”

“It’s okay.” You were getting used to it, you almost preferred being alone. “Y-You should really talk to your parents. I think they’ll understand how you feel.”

“I will,” He said. “I’ll tell you how it goes.”

“Already planning your next stakeout,” You pointed out humorously. “Why don’t you just wait outside of my apartment instead of at my job?”

“You’re giving great advice tonight.” He laughed along with you for a moment. “Maybe I’ll catch you on a day you’re off, and it’s not ten o’clock at night.”

“You’ll have to if you plan on telling me about your talk with your parents.” Joel laughed again as you contemplated the idea. “I’m free tomorrow.”

“I’m usually done with everything at the shop around three on Thursdays—I could just….”

“That’s fine. You know the address now, I assume.”

“Locked and loaded.” He tapped his temple. “Not because I regularly stake out your apartment or anything.”

“No, of course not.” You smiled. “It’s 3B. Don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” He said. “You should give me your number. In case I have to call and cancel.”

You narrowed your eyes jokingly, coming to a stop as you approached your apartment building. You took your pen and pad out of the front of the apron you still wore under your coat and jotted down your number and address. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Joel said, taking the ticket. “Good night.”

You smiled and turned to walk into the restaurant that led up to your apartment.

Joel waited until you were inside before walking back the way you guys came.

“Leftovers,” Your landlady called as she wiped down the tables for the night, nodding her head at the carefully packaged food. “You’re late. I almost threw them away.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Angie,” You said as you grabbed the bag. “You’re always so kind.”

She hummed, uninterested in your compliment. “Rent’s due by the end of the week, no exceptions.”

“I’m gonna have all of it,” You promised, heading for the stairs. “Tell Mr. Ben I said goodnight.”

You climbed the stairs and got into your apartment. After putting the leftovers in the fridge you didn’t have any energy left to do anything but shower and go to bed.

You dropped your tips in your savings jar and called it a night.

*

“I looked at him and I said ‘Daddy, some things are gonna hafta change around here if I’mma keep working for you. I ain’t gonna let you and mama run me around and tell me what to do like you have been. Not anymore.’ You know what he said?”

“What?”

“He said ‘get your ass over there and start rotatin them tires.’”

You laughed from where you sat on the ground piecing together a puzzle on your coffee table. Joel sat on the sofa looking down at it as you made more progress.

“So?” You asked, glancing up at him. “What’d you do?”

“I got my ass over there and started rotating them tires.” He laughed along with you. “What was I s’posed to do?”

“He probably just didn’t know how to react,” You said, picking up another piece of the puzzle and examining the incomplete picture of a swan on a lake.

“There.” Joel pointed to the missing part of the swans beak.

“At least you tried.” You put the piece in its place. “I wouldn’t know where to start if I tried to unpack things with my dad.”

“Tell me about your dad.” He moved from the sofa and sat down next to you on the floor

“There’s nothing to tell,” You said. “He left when I was little and took my brother with him.”

“Do you remember anything about him?”

“I try not to.”

You laughed but Joel’s expression remained serious. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” You said. “It doesn’t bother me.”

“It should.” You focused on the puzzle as he spoke. “Not having both your parents ain’t easy.”

“You can’t miss what you never had.”

“Yeah, but you can long for something you should’ve.”

You met his eyes and your expression grew to match his.

“I think, even if you say there isn’t, there’s a part of you that wishes he had been there for you.”

“There isn’t.”

“It’s okay if there is~”

“There’s not, Joel.” You examined the piece in your hand, scanning the puzzle again. “I don’t have any strong feelings about the situation. It’s just something that happened.”

Joel took the puzzle piece from you and tucked it into its proper place. “He missed out on a good thing from what I can tell. It’s his loss.”

You shrugged. “I wish my brother and I would have gotten a chance to grow up together. Other than that I just…”

“Try not to think about it,” Joel finished. You nodded. “I won’t bring it up again.”

You smiled a little as he pieced together another piece of the puzzle. “Why are you actually good at this?”

“You just havta go by the colors.” He handed you another piece. “Sit back and look at the bigger picture.”

You followed his advice and leaned away from the coffee table. “Ah, I see.” You laughed, finding where the piece went immediately.

“There you go.” Joel laughed.

“I still might take you hostage and make you finish it for me.” You smiled. “I’ll never get it done on my own.”

“I’d be a willing hostage,” He said. “I like being here with you.”

You laughed again, unsure of how you should respond. “I’d make for a terrible captor.”

Joel smiled without meeting your eyes. “I don’t think so.”

“You’re a strange man, Joel,” You said. “Sometimes I wonder.”

“What do you wonder?”

“I wonder what you’re doing here.”

He looked up at you. “I like being around you.”

You nodded. “You’ve said that.”

“You want more of a reason?”

“Yes.”

He smiled again, looking off in thought as he fidgeted with the puzzle piece in his hand. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try.”

“When I think of being anywhere else…I always rather be with you.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you.”

He avoided your eyes, focusing instead on where your hand rested near his on the coffee table.

“I like you too.”

“N-No, I…I like you more.”

“More?”

“I’m attracted to you.”

You fell silent. He wasn’t saying anything that you hadn’t already suspected, but you were slow to process his words.

He seemed to panic when you didn’t respond. “I don’t want that to change anything~”

“It won’t,” You reassured him. “A-And I want to spend time together when we can.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I didn’t realize how lonely I was before you came along.”

Joel’s hand brushed against yours when he shifted and you felt a rush of something between fear and panic but you didn’t pull away.

“I can always keep you company.”

“Would you?”

“If you wanted me to.” His eyes darted to your lips for less than a second before landing on your eyes.

Your voice was barely above a whisper when you spoke again. “…I want you to.”

Silence settled over the room and the air seemed to thicken as it went on. The space between the two of you gradually decreased and you both hesitated, you imagined for entirely different reasons. Joel started to pull away after sensing your hesitation but you closed the space between your lips before he could.

You broke the kiss immediately, anxiously awaiting his reaction. He shifted towards you, taking your face between both his hands and searching your eyes for any sign of skepticism before kissing you again.

Your eyes fluttered shut and your hands came to rest on his forearms. You only opened your eyes when he broke the kiss, finding his already on you.

“Will you stay?”

“If you want me to.”

“I want you to.”

*

Your relationship with Joel brought something into your life that you didn’t realize you were missing.

He was there for you when you needed him and even when you didn’t. He listened to you and he was interested in your thoughts. He didn’t expect anything from you. He was patient and he let you come to terms with your feelings on your own accord. He was your friend before he was your lover.

You felt different when you were with Joel. You didn’t feel nervous or anxious when you were around him. You weren’t afraid to tell him the truth and you never worried that he’d hurt you or find some way to punish you if you went against him. He was gentle with you, almost too gentle.

“I want you to meet my parents,” He said during one of his afternoon visits. “I told them about you.”

“You did?”

“They want to meet you,” He said. “They wanna know who’s been taking up all my time.”

You didn’t know what was so different at the time—why Joel made you feel so different. You soon came to realize that Joel’s way of loving you simply wasn’t the same as Elvis’ way of loving you.

You were there for each other when you had no one. There was a space you filled in each other’s lives that was different. Even though it took time, you grew to understand and accept that.

“You mean they want to know if I’m worth your time.” You stood at the counter sectioning Ms. Angie’s leftovers into airtight containers. You always had more than enough, so you usually took some to Sinclair whenever you had shifts together.

“No, I can tell them that,” Joel said. He stood behind you and slipped his arms around your waist. “Some things they gotta see for themselves.”

You laughed, shying away from the kiss he left on your cheek. “I don’t know how you’ll manage to make time. You work almost every day and I work every night.”

“I’ll make time,” He said. “You just hafta tell me when you’re off.”

“Fine,” You agreed. “But make it lunch, not dinner.”

“Lunch not dinner, got it.” He nodded once. “You taking that to Sinclair?”

“Yes,” You sighed. “If I eat another dumpling I might die. I don’t have the heart to turn it down.”

Joel laughed, letting you walk out of his arms. “I’ll pick you up tonight. 10:30?”

“10:30.” You put the containers into an old grocery bag and tied the handles before grabbing your keys. "I'll see you tonight.”

“I’ll see you.” He smiled, his eyes following you as you left. “I love you.”

You cut your eye over your shoulder, slowing to a stop. You walked back over and left a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Lock up when you leave.”

Things with Joel progressed quickly after you’d acknowledged your feelings. You were apprehensive at times about letting him into your life all at once, but you were more afraid to let him go after you’d grown attached. You feared that things would change the more he got to know you and that he’d leave on his own. But with time your trust grew and your feelings became stronger; you longed for him when he was away.

He became a part of your everyday. Long after the initial attraction that brought the two of you together had started to fade you still wanted him in your life.

Eventually, after talking and thinking it over, he moved in together. You were practically inseparable so it made the most sense.

“Marry me.”

“No.”

You were genuinely happy and you couldn’t see things any other way.

“Marry me.”

“Joel.”

You had a tolerable job, a decent place to live, and a person to share your life with.

“I’m not gonna stop asking.”

“That’s called harassment.”

It felt like you were finally getting a taste of that stability that had made you envy Andrea.

“Marry me.”

“For the love of god.”

You were somewhere in your life that you never thought you’d be.

“Please?”

You couldn’t have been more content.

“Fine. I’ll marry you.”

*

“Where are you, sugar?”

“I’m here.”

You sighed and closed the book in your hands as Joel entered your shared bedroom. He smiled when he saw you, dropping his work boots by the door.

“Look at you, lookin like a regular ol housewife.” He laughed, unbuttoning the dirty flannel he was wearing.

“You know I hate when you say that,” You said with a slight roll of your eyes.

“It’s not a bad thing,” He said, walking towards you. “Not to mention you will be soon.”

“Uh, uh.” You put a hand out to stop him. “You better wash all that off before you come over here.”

“Don’t I at least get a kiss?” He asked, still inching towards you. “I ain’t seen you all day.”

“Who’s fault is that?” You tilted you head expectantly.

“It’s my fault,” He said, kneeling on the bed. “It’s all my fault.”

You laughed despite your protests, pushing him away only after he’d stolen a kiss. He went into the bathroom to turn on the shower before leaning on the doorframe. “I meant to tell you that daddy wants me to go to Charleston after work tomorrow to pick up some parts.”

“Charleston?” You asked. “It’s gonna take all day to get there and back.”

“I know, but you can come with me and we can make it a thing.”

“‘Make it a thing?’”

“Make a trip out of it.”

“I don’t like the roads around Charleston.”

“I’ll drive.”

“Sinclair and Marcus were going to come over tomorrow night.”

“I know,” He repeated with an apologetic expression. “I don’t want to, but Charleston’s got the only place we can find that has any of those new alternators. I told you about them, they’re imported. We’re gonna be able to reach a whole nother demographic if we~”

“Baby, please, don’t go on one of your car rants.” You closed your book again, abandoning it on the bed as you stood. “This is the third time I’m going to have to cancel on them. Can’t your father go on his own for once?”

“I told him I would. It’s not like I’m doin it for free, I’m gettin paid for making the trip.”

“That’s not the point.”

“It’s my job to take care of you. You know that’s why I’m doing it, so why give me shit for it everytime?”

“Because I hardly ever see you anymore. I mean it, I don’t want to live here if it means you working all hours of the day and night.”

“We’re staying here. No one bothers us here, we keep to ourselves~”

“I’ll start working again to take away some of the pressure.”

“That’s not what I want.”

“What about what I want? I want you here, with me, more often.”

“I want to be here, sweetheart, I do. I’m not tryin to prioritize anything over you…” He worried his bottom lip as spoke, rubbing his face thoughtfully.

“But?” You prompted.

“But I hafta help at the shop as much as I can. It’s getting to be just as much my responsibility as it is daddy’s,”

“What am I supposed to do? Get in line and wait my turn for your attention?”

“You have my attention, always.” He crossed the room and took your hands in his. “If it’ll make you happy I’ll tell him I can’t go tomorrow, but I have to at some point.”

“Don’t bother.” You pulled away from him and walked away. “You don’t bother telling him anything else.”

“Why are you tearing into me right now?” He asked, shocked by your comment.

“Why won’t you tell him we’re getting married?” You faced him, arms crossed.

“I’m gonna tell him and mama~”

“When?”

“I don’t know just yet. When I can..”

“I’m starting to think you’ve changed your mind.”

“I haven’t.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” You asked.

“No, god, no.” He grew more frustrated. “I know they’ll never let me hear the end of it when they find out. It’s not about you at all.”

You fell silent, looking down to hide the tears forming in your eyes.

“I could never be ashamed of you, you’re too important to me.” He continued when you didn’t respond. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you like I should. I’ll try harder, okay? I’m gonna tell daddy I can’t go tomorrow and we’re gonna have some fun with our friends.”

You sensed him coming closer before you felt him gently lift your chin to meet your eyes.

“Don’t cry,” He whispered. “You know I hate to see you cry.”

You swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“Stay and read your book,” He said. “You can tell me about it when I’m done.”

You nodded, forcing a small smile. “Okay.”

He kissed your forehead and let you go. “I’ll be quick.”

“Joel.” You stopped him. “I don’t want to be kept a secret.”

“I’ll tell them.”

“Tomorrow.”

He looked undeniably conflicted but he nodded his head before silently retreating to the bathroom.

The next day, upon hearing the news, his father fired him and kicked him out of the shop. You had a feeling that Joel knew that his father would react that way and had been putting off telling him for that reason.

He tried to put on a brave face about the situation, but you could see it in his eyes that he was hurt. He had every right to be after years of putting so much into building and maintaining the business with his father.

“McNally’s been bugging me about coming to work for him at his dealership,” He said. “I’m sure the offer still stands.”

“I’m so sorry, Joel.” You felt like it was your fault. If you hadn’t pushed him to tell his parents he’d still have a relationship with them and a job he loved.

“I don’t want you thinking this is your fault,” He said. “We’re gonna be married and if mama and daddy can’t accept that, then…I don’t want them in our life.”

You leaned back against the kitchen counter and crossed your arms. You didn’t know what to do other than apologize.

“I’m gonna change and head over to talk to McNally.” He stepped in front of you and took your face in his hands. “Don’t look so troubled, we’re gonna be alright. We might be more than alright if McNally gets me in at the dealership. There’s better pay and benefits~”

“It’s not what you love to do.”

“If it means I can take care of you, I love it.”

You slipped your arms around his torso, hugging him. He hugged you back.

“It’s all gonna work out,” He promised. He pulled away first, ducking his head to kiss your lips before he walked away. “Maybe you and Sinclair can go out tonight instead. You should take your car for a drive anyway. You’ll kill that battery leaving it sitting in the driveway all the time.”

“I’ll call her.”

“Brighten up, sugar,” He laughed. “It’s gonna be okay.”

You tried to smile. “I believe you.”

Joel secured a job working at Bibby McNally’s car dealership and, while it wasn’t something he was passionate about, he made the most of it. It was a high scale dealership and they had a lot of traffic all year round so it was never a dull moment. At times you could see him becoming drained and uninterested, but he insisted that working there was good for the two of you.

He was home more often and you got to spend more time together. It was exactly what you wanted, however, you felt guilty about him losing his job and contact with his parents.

One evening after he got off of work he came barreling into the house calling out for you. You rushed to meet him in the living room.

“What happened?” You asked in alarm.

“You aren’t going to believe this,” He said with excitement behind his words. “Guess who came into the dealership today. Guess.”

“Wha~ Who?” You asked, your eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“Elvis,” Joel said, enthusiastically. “Elvis-fucking-Presley.”

“W-What?” You tried not to let your expression grow horrified. “He did?”

“Can you believe that?” Joel walked past you in the direction of your bedroom, loosening the tie around his neck. “He came in lookin some kinda Roadrunner. I was trying to get a Pontiac off my hands and all of the sudden the lady I’m selling to screams at the top of her lungs. I turn around and there he is.”

“Did you talk to him?” You asked, following him to the room. You stopped him before he walked to the bathroom. “I’m not done.”

“I talked to him.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “He has some time off from filming, I guess.”

“Oh?” You crossed your arms to stop your hands from fidgeting.

He nodded as he slipped off his shiny dress shoes and tucked them under the foot of the bed. “He said he wanted us to come back with him to Graceland over the weekend.”

“You told him about us?” You asked.

“Yeah, he was as shocked as you could imagine.” Joel laughed. “He said he’d arrange for us to fly out tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” You asked.

“You’ve asked me a hundred questions since I walked through the door,” He said. “Tell me what you think. We should go right?”

“I-I don’t know, it’s so all of a sudden, y-y’know,” You stammered. “You have work and we’re starting a new book in my club~”

“Sweetheart.” He stood from the bed as he unbuttoned his shirt. “You’re seriously telling me that you’d pass this up to go read a book?”

“You have work.”

“I can get away for a weekend,” He said. “It could be fun. We could see Dawn while we’re there. And Cynthia—Andrea, maybe.”

“You aren’t going to let this go are you?”

“A hundred and one questions.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’ll never ask you for anything again if you’ll just go with me tomorrow. It’ll feel like old times.”

“For you maybe.” You walked back into the bathroom.

“Finish up in there so I can shower,” He called as you shut the door. “I wanna help you cook.”

“Just a minute.” You leaned forward against the sink, looking at yourself in the mirror. For a moment you saw your old self reflected back at you. Just hearing his name made you feel small and panicky. Knowing that he was in the same state didn’t make it any easier to breathe. You hadn’t seen him since~

Let me t-try to be better. Just give me a chance, baby, please.

You closed your eyes and tried to physically shake away the sudden memory. Was it possible for a heart to stay broken for this long?

You couldn’t see him. You didn’t want to see him. You’d put him out of your mind, escaped the hold he had on you. You’d worked so hard to rebuild yourself after he’d broken you down. You were at a place in your life where you were so sure of everything, you didn’t want to see him and lose all that progress.

You were in love with Joel and the two of you were prepared to build a life together. You didn’t want Elvis’ presence to taint that in any way.

“I wonder if Sonny and Lamar’ll be there tomorrow night,” Joel continued from outside of the bathroom. “Maybe Red and Billy too.”

“I don’t know,” You responded in the steadiest tone you could muster.

“I’m sure they’ll be there,” He continued. “You remember my cousin Jerry?”

You took slow breaths and stood upright with your hands on your hips. “I’m sure they’ll all be there, Joel.”

He laughed. “Tell me you’ll go. I don’t wanna havta drag you kicking and screaming.”

You swallowed harshly as you started putting away the makeup you had strewn across the counter. “Can we come back Sunday?”

“Yeah,” He responded, delighted with your capitulation. “We can come back whenever you want.”

You took one last deep breath and put on a decent expression before leaving the bathroom. “I don’t want to be gone too long, that’s all.”

“I’ll get you back home before you can even start to miss it.” He smiled as he watched you leave the room.

“Perfect.”

You went to figure out where he’d hidden your cigarettes. You pulled open a few kitchen drawers and shuffled through them before you found the slim, silver case. Your mind raced as you used the stove to light the cigarette before turning off the burner. You hadn’t smoked since Joel insisted that you quit weeks ago, but you couldn’t think of any other way to calm your nerves. You’d start your streak over tomorrow.

When Joel finally got out of the shower, he found you standing by the window in the living room. You were on your second cigarette and so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed him at first.

“You better put that out,” He chided, walking over. “I told you what they’ve been saying about them things.”

“Luther Terry’s fighting a losing battle,” You muttered, crushing the cigarette in the ashtray that sat on the windowsill.

“I ain’t seen you smoke a cigarette in weeks.” He stood behind you and put his arms around your waist.

“I know.”

“Something bothering you?”

“Are you still going to Virginia with Bibby?” You asked in an attempt to avoid the question.

“Yeah…” He fell silent for a moment. “It should be the last trip for a while. Once convention season’s over I’m all yours.”

You walked out of his arms. “You should wear the navy suit you wore last week. I know you lost your red tie~”

“You’re upset.” He followed you to the kitchen.

“I’m fine.” You tried to smile, forcing back all of the thoughts that were threatening to consume you. “I’ll find your tie.”

You continued taking the pots and pans down to start cooking.

“How is Bibby anyway?” You wanted to fill the silence. “The baby?”

“He’s good, the baby’s good,” Joel said. “He says Yvette’s a natural…”

You tried to listen as Joel went on about Bibby and Yvette, but you were too preoccupied–too full of dread.

After all you’d gone through, you were walking back into the belly of the beast.

*

“Don’t get me in too much trouble,” Joel said handing you your second flute of champagne. “I don’t want no misdemeanor for aiding and abetting.”

“You’re a year older than me, Joel. Don’t you think I can handle a little champagne by now?” You laughed and took the glass.

“We’ll see.” He shrugged.

“Not too much for you tonight either. You’re driving.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I’m barely buzzin.” He slipped his arm around your waist and kissed you with gin-stained lips. The two of you parted at the sound of Joel’s name being called over the music, turning your heads in the direction of the voice. He lit up when he saw who it was. You smiled as they embraced each other.

“How have you been?” Joel asked.

“Alright,” Jerry responded with an indolent shrug. “This her?”

“Yeah.” Joel smiled, slipping his arm around your waist and introducing you.

“Right.” Jerry repeated your name as if it rang a bell and you exchanged brief pleasentries. “Look, E.P. wants y’all to come up. He sent me to find you.”

You took another sip of your drink after Joel quickly accepted the invitation. You probably shouldn’t have been drinking, you were beyond queasy and the champagne wasn’t helping–not to mention that it tasted like battery acid. You finished the glass anyway, hoping that, if anything, it would calm your nerves.

“Come on, baby,” Joel said, taking the glass from you and abandoning it at the bar with his own. He took your hand in his and leaned in to speak in your ear. “You can still let me know if you change your mind while we’re up there.” You nodded, forcing a small smile before letting him lead you as he followed Jerry to the elevators. The music from the party faded behind the doors and all that remained was the gentle melody of the elevator music. “How long y’all been in Georgia?”

“Since yesterday. E heard about the dealership so he wanted to pass through.”

“How’d he hear about it?”

“I’m not too sure.”

Their voices faded to the background. All you heard was the sound of your heartbeat accelerating. After so long, you wondered if he’d be different. Your fear and panic was beginning to be replaced by other things that you didn’t want to acknowledge let alone describe. Because having to describe those feelings would’ve meant admitting they were there.

The elevator stopped on the top floor and you forced your feet to move. Jerry led you to the suite and opened the door without knocking. “I found them, E,” He said, walking in first.

His eyes met yours almost instantly. Those baby blue eyes that were so familiar yet so distanced from the ones you knew. He still had that youthful glow about him as he smiled and stood to greet the two of you. His gaze lingered on you briefly but no longer than a second. “Joel, ol boy.” His voice caused your breath to hitch. It was different somehow, deeper and richer, but so familiar. Like an old song who’s melody you’d forgotten but still knew all the words to. You could’ve been making it all up. It could’ve been that he was exactly as you'd left him but his beauty had already started to fade in your memory. “I’m glad y’all could make it.”

“Yeah, so are we.” Joel smiled and asked if he remembered you.

“Of course,” Elvis said, shifting his attention to you. He had an amused glint in his eyes as he smiled at you. “How have you been, honey?”

“Okay.” You tried to smile, breaking eye contact for a moment. “How have you been?”

“Okay,” He said, before turning to retake his seat, the people sitting at the table with him cleared the space. “Sit down here a minute and a tell me what you’ve been up to, Joel. I saw you weren’t with your dad anymore.”

“No, I haven’t been for a while,” Joel said, pulling out a chair for you. “We had some differences of opinion.”

“Help yourself to a drink if you want,” Elvis offered. “We can get whatever you prefer.”

“I’m okay,” Joel said. They each looked to you expectantly.

“I’m sorry?” You asked.

“D’you want a drink?” Elvis repeated.

“No, thank you.” You avoided his eyes.

He moved on with his conversation with Joel and you noticed a smirk gracing his features when you glanced his way. “What happened with your old man? I thought you two were close.”

“I thought we were. But my folks didn’t exactly approve when I told them we was getting married.”

“Married?” He seemed genuinely surprised. Joel must’ve not mentioned it before.

“I held off telling them. I knew they’d have something to say about it, but…”

“What’d they say?”

“Daddy fired me from the shop and I haven’t spoken to them since.”

Elvis grimaced. “Man, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Joel shrugged. “It’s a shame but I can’t change their minds about anything.”

“Well, congratulations anyway. You make an interesting pair.”

“Interesting how?”

Both their gazes turned to you when you spoke.

“Unexpected, I should say,” Elvis rephrased. “How’d you get caught up with Joel?“

“We ran into each other one day.” You tore your eyes away and looked at Joel.

“Why were you in Georgia?” Elvis asked.

“For a change of scenery. ” You opened your purse and retrieved your case of cigarettes—your nerves were getting the best of you. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” Elvis said. “You know Dawny retired?”

“She mentioned it.” You nodded.

“She’s up in her own place now,” He said. “I check on her when I can.”

“That’s nice. I wish I could visit more,” You responded.

“I wish you could too,” He uttered, picking up a lighter from the table. “Light?”

You put the slim, white cigarette between your lips and leaned toward him as he struck the lighter. You sat back in your seat after the cigarette was lit, avoiding eye contact with both him and Joel.

“So you’re sellin cars now?” Elvis asked Joel, sliding a porcelain ashtray over to you.

“Mhm.”

“How d’you like it?”

“It’s a job.”

The conversation flowed awkwardly. It was almost as if they had to actively think of every question they were going to ask—preoccupied by other things. Eventually the three of you returned to the party happening downstairs. Elvis naturally drew the attention of everyone in the room. There was something different about him that you couldn’t pinpoint exactly. Whatever it was, you couldn’t help but steal a glance whenever he wasn’t looking. He radiated a certain energy that drew you in and made you want to watch.

“What’s wrong?” Joel asked. He hadn’t left your side since you got there and upon hearing that he was going to get your things from the car you must’ve looked panicked. He took your face in his hands and searched your eyes for the answer but you smiled and tried to distract him with a kiss. He stopped you. “Tell me.”

“Nothing.” You were a terrible liar. “I’ll help you.”

“No,” He said quickly. “It’s fine. And you don’t have to stay down here, you can go up to the room if you want. They say we’re heading out sometime tonight.”

“‘Sometime tonight’ meaning…god knows when?”

“Pretty much.”He laughed before letting you go. “Head upstairs, I’ll be there in a minute.”

You watched him leave before going to find the elevator. You couldn’t breathe.

You found the room Elvis had reserved specifically for you and Joel. You were relieved to be alone in the silence, but you felt uneasy knowing that he was downstairs and he knew where you were. The hours passed and soon it was nearly three in the morning. You were exhausted but you couldn’t sleep if you tried. Joel hadn’t come up the entire night and you wanted to be angry but tried anyway to give him time to be around old friends. He was familiar with their grueling routine—you weren’t. When he did finally return you were on the brink of sleep.

“Come on, sugar, we’re heading out.”

“God, what time is it?”

“I don’t know…it’s early.”

You pushed yourself into a sitting position and eyed him suspiciously. “You’re drunk.”

He laughed but ultimately shook his head in denial. “I’m fine.”

“You left me up here all night,” You complained as you slipped your shoes on. “I couldn’t change my clothes or anything. You could’ve checked on me once.”

“Time got away,” He said, grabbing your purse and holding his hand out for you. “They’re waiting on us.”

“Can I get myself together for a minute?”

“You’re perfect, come on.”

You took his hand and let him lead you out of the room—smoothing the skirt of your dress as he dragged you along.

You leaned your head against the window the entire drive to Memphis. Elvis had offered to fly you out but Joel insisted on driving. The two of you had planned to go straight to Virginia to meet Bibby afterwards.

You passed the time by trying to keep your doom at bay.

[vgilantee]

love lost {neteyam sully}

neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan x fem na'vi!reader

requested: n/a (well... kind of. i pitched the idea to julie and she encourages me too much &lt;;3)

words: 4.0k (this is... double the length of what i had planned oop)

a/n: the way of water spoilers i stg if you haven't watched the movie you don't get to bitch about spoilers if you read this fic listen. listen i love neteyam so much. and as much as i would like to write a canon variance fic, i also have fun writing angst. my forte is more hurt/comfort and "angsty but there will be fluff and a happy ending" because i'm a softie and a romantic but sad angst is still fun to write

warnings/tags: hurt/no comfort, implied doing the dirty, mating (sfw), death, grieving/mourning, depression symptoms, implied suicidal ideation, reader and neteyam are about 18/19 because that's how old i thought he was when i watched the movie, mostly canon compliant (whoops), SPOILERS, no proofreading we die like neteyam men

pronouns: she/her

na'vi translations:

oeyä - my (possessive) narlor - beautiful (visually) muntxa si - mate / marry yawne - beloved

From a young age, it was clear that you would spend the rest of your life by Neteyam’s side. He was your best friend, the first person to treat him as just another kid and not the first born son of the olo’eyktan. 

As you grew together, the way you felt about each other seemed to grow in sync, from entirely platonic best friends, to teenagers who would sneak out of chores to kiss in the forest. One day, while leaning against his chest and feeling his fingers play with the beaded ends of your braids, he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, whispering into your skin.

“Once we have finished the rites, I want to be yours,” your breath hitched at his words, “forever.” You blinked, twisting to look up at him with wide eyes. “If you’ll have me.” You rolled your eyes, leaning up to kiss his jaw.

“Of course I’ll have you.” Neteyam broke into a wide  smile, as if for a moment he expected you would say anything else. “In this life and the next.” If you were told as a child, that at sixteen, just days before he made his first kill, that you and Neteyam would be promising to be each other’s mates, you would have laughed them off.

Now, you were beaming at him while sat on his lap, pressing kisses to his mouth and cheeks, eliciting laughter from him as he fell back, arms wrapped around your waist. 

Your parents and his had all apparently known of his plans to propose to you that evening, as they were all waiting for you in the Sully family hut as you arrived, excited that your families would become one. As Kiri swatted Lo’ak for throwing his hands in the air with a loud exclamation of ‘finally’, Mo’at guided you away from the crowd.

“Once you begin your rites, I shall teach you to use and amplify your connection to Eywa.” Her eyes were soft as she rested her hands on your shoulders. “I believe you shall become a strong Tsahik.” You thanked her with a bow, grateful that she would so willingly teach you and flattered at her compliment.

Time seemed to move both too fast and not fast enough over the next year and a half as you both completed your rites and became adults of the clan. Like his father, Neteyam became one of the greatest Omaticaya warriors, proudly taking his place at the olo’eyktan’s side. But however strong and fearless he became, his eyes always softened as he looked at you, an impatience within him to finally have you as his official mate, to be able to say he is yours entirely. 

Like Mo’at told, your connection to Eywa grew, able to understand her guidance with ease. Quickly, you learned that your favourite part of being the future Tsahik was healing. Being able to help those in your clan that were injured or unwell was always rewarding. And despite her being your personal guide and teacher, you were extremely honoured every time Mo’at invited you to assist in ceremonies with Eywa in front of the clan. 

Neteyam’s ceremony was performed around a month after your own, and still, he waited a week to ask you again to be his mate.

With his fingers easily weaved between your own, he guided you toward the bioluminescent clearing where he had first proposed. (And where, two short years before that, you had shared your first kiss). Neteyam held both of your hands, close enough that you could count the freckles scattered across his face; not that you hadn’t done so many times before. 

“I know I have already asked you this,” his voice was soft and nervous as he spoke, “but I want to ask again.” As he drew in a slow, shuddered breath, you leaned up and pressed a kiss beside his mouth. “Will you be my mate? Would you honour me with allowing me to be yours forever?” Your eyes watered, crying despite knowing what he was going to ask, and you nodded with a smile. But still he waited, wanting to hear you say it. 

“Neteyam, yes. I would love to be your mate.” He let out a sigh of relief, quick to drop your hands to grab your face and kiss you. You smiled against each other’s mouths, hands on each other and pulling each other as close as you physically could.

His hands slide down your body and grasp the underside of your thighs, lifting you so your legs could wrap around his waist. With his mouth never leaving yours, Neteyam carefully sat down and rested you on his lap, the ground lighting up under him. 

“You are so breathtaking.” He whispered against your lips and you pulled away with a flustered laugh, forehead rested against his. Neteyam was never shy about complimenting you, but somehow his words never failed to cause your heart to skip and the tips of your ears to warm. 

“Oel ngati kamele, Ma Neteyam.” You ran your fingers over his bicep causing goosebumps to raise as you spoke with a sigh.

Wordlessly, you reached up behind you to grab your braid that safely held your queue, pulling it over your shoulder and dragging your fingers down to the end. The soft tendrils of your queue reached for him, yearning for him just as your heart did. Neteyam mirrored your movement, bringing his queue around, and held it just in front of your own. Your eyes flicked up from your queues to meet his eyes. 

Although you had loved each other since you were children, you were both still nervous that the other would change their mind. 

“I am yours.” You asserted. Neteyam dropped his head forward to press your foreheads together again.

“Yours. I have always been yours.” 

As your queues entangled, you sucked in a short breath, body relaxing as you watched his pupils dilate. Your heart began to race as your breaths began to match his, eyes falling closed. After years of promises and soft kisses in the dark, your souls were entwined and could never be separated.

---

You squeezed Neteyam’s hand as Tarsem’s hand dropped against Jake’s chest in a fist, cementing the change in leader and the end of Jake’s reign as olo’eyktan. The Suli Tseyeyk’itan family were leaving the clan as sky people threatened to hunt them. Revenge on Jake for something that happened nearly two decades ago. Neteyam had offered to let you stay with the clan while he left with his family. But you refused, reminding him that you were his mate, by his side forever. And if his family was in danger, you were included in that. 

Neteyam pulled you up behind him onto his ikran and you easily wrapped your arms around his waist, head resting on the back of his shoulders. It was a position that you had been in before, taken on many flights by your mate from the day that he bonded with his flying beast. 

But the pit in your stomach still reminded you of how different this would be. You were leaving your clan and the only family and life you had ever known. You knew that you would follow Neteyam to the ends of Pandora, but the change was still scary. You had no way of knowing what was to come with leaving your home, you had no idea what your new one would look like. Neteyam reached down and rested his hand on your thigh, giving it a squeeze as his ikran took off. 

No two na’vi described the effects of mating the same, Eywa giving each couple a different way of connecting and understanding each other. For you and Neteyam, it seemed that it had given you both the ability to understand the deep emotions of each other. You could tell when he was stressed about the pressures of his future title and he could tell when your anxiety sunk deep into your bones. It was as if you could feel him in the depths of your being, an overlay on the edge of your soul. 

So he knew, as you pressed your chest against him and felt the rush of the wind whistling past his ears, that you were afraid of what was to come. But with his hand pressed safely against your thigh, the warmth spreading from where the skin met, it reassured you that whatever happened he would be by your side and making things a little less scary. 

---

Neteyam always asserted that you were the most beautiful being he had ever seen. Even as a child, there was something about you that made him smile and desperate to hear your laugh. You had swum together many times in the various ponds around the Home Tree and Ayram alusing, but watching you rise out of the ocean, flicking water out of your braids with a shake and laughing with Tsireya, he could swear that he fell in love with you all over again. 

“Bro,” Lo’ak smacked his chest, bringing his attention back to their ilu training, “she’s already your mate, you can stop the lovesick staring.” Neteyam hit him back, looking back over at you to see your attention already on him. You sent him a soft wave, which he happily returned with a smile.

--- 

Despite Jake’s best attempt at keeping his family safe and keeping the war away, the need for vengeance from a man who was supposed to be long dead was too strong. All too quickly the sky people in their boat with their machines that killed tulkun with ease arrived.

You held onto the ilu tightly as you all raced to catch up with Lo’ak, the ocean spray whipping at you. You knew it was dangerous, leaving Awa’atlu, it was stupid and reckless but Lo’ak was determined to warn the tulkun he had bonded with. 

You watched in awe as the giant creature rose from the ocean, eagerly greeting Lo’ak, who began to panic once noticing a red spear-like tracker in the beast’s shoulder. You wasted little time, standing up on the ilu and diving into the water, swimming over to help the boy pull the tracker out. Neteyam was close behind you, and he helped pull up the Metkayina teens who had come with you. 

You heard Lo’ak radio their father while Kiri and Tuk climbed onto the tulkun and finally, as the sky people boat rounded the rocky bluff, the six of you pulled the tracker out.

“Go that way, I’ll draw them off.” Neteyam ordered, holding the tracker. As you opened your mouth to rebut, he cut you off. “Go with Tsireya. I’ll be okay.” You huffed at him, but obliged, swimming beside the girl and grabbing hold of her ilu’s saddle. 

---

You held onto the ilu as Lo’ak raced towards the rocky island with Neteyam leaning against him. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, the way he wheezed with each breath. There was no way to explain it, but you could feel a heat blooming in your chest. You hadn’t seen him get shot, having been with Tsireya after she escaped the large ship, but you immediately knew, your mated connection through Eywa causing a phantom pain. 

You could only watch as Spider and Tsireya guided Neteyam up to Jake, who helped them pull him onto the rocks. Jake rolled him onto his side to check for wounds before he laid him back. For a moment, he looked between you and Lo’ak who kneeled beside Neteyal, but quickly chose to take Lo’ak’s hands and had him apply pressure. 

As Neteyam gasped for breath, you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath either. With shaky hands you took his, lowering yourself down so you could hold it to your mouth, staring up at him with glassy eyes. 

His breaths grew shorter, more panicked, as Neytiri landed her ikran and fell to her knees between you and Lo’ak. Jake held his face as he reassured him that it would be okay, and you felt like your throat was closing. Then everything stopped, and Jake pulled his hand away from Neteyam’s cheek.

Everything sounded muffled, like you were underwater or had cups over your ears. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. It felt as though your lungs stopped taking in air and like someone was squeezing your heart. You couldn’t hear what Neytiri was saying as she shook Neteyam’s shoulders, you could only hear the anguish in her voice. You felt it in your chest as she screamed and Jake pulled her to his chest. You looked over as the sounds around you echoed to see Lo’ak staring down at his red-stained hands. 

You rocked on your knees, internally pleading with Eywa to wake you up, give you a sign that this was a nightmare and the emptiness in your chest was a horrid lie. You didn’t bother wiping away any of your tears, barely noticing them as they rolled down your cheeks and met with the back of Neteyam’s hand, which you hadn’t moved from your lips in the hopes that it would twitch, that he would be alive. 

Then, all at once, sound returned. And you screamed. Pained and desperate, your voice cracking. You dropped his hand and collapsed down into Neteyam’s chest, pleading with Eywa to let his heart start beating again. You could hear voices, Jake and Neytiri’s, but what they were saying didn’t register. All you could focus on as you sobbed was the hollow, empty feeling deep in your chest. You let out a pained wail as you sat up, turning to Jake as you felt his hand rest on your shoulder. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but closed it again, instead choosing to give you a soft, sad look. 

You were left alone on the rocks with Neteyam as the others left to return to the ship and save the Sully daughters. You sat beside him cross-legged, and carefully pulled his head into your lap as if trying not to wake him from sleep. As gently as you could, you wiped away the blood staining his skin, wanting to erase all evidence that he was hurt, then you ran your fingers over his face, pushing his braids to the side and wiping away water and tears (both his and your own) from his star-speckled cheeks. Once you were satisfied, you gently closed his eyes.

Neteyam was always so beautiful as he slept, and you always loved the mornings when you would wake up before him leaving you able to roll over and stare at his peaceful expression. He would always get embarrassed when you told him he was pretty when he slept, the tips of his ears flushing pink. 

“Ma Neteyam. Oeyä narlor muntxa si.” You pressed your lips to his forehead while you whispered to him. “Oeyä yawne. Please, come back to me. I cannot do this without you, I cannot live the rest of my life without you. You were supposed to be by my side forever.” You hiccuped as a sob broke out of you. You leaned back, staring up at the sky. “Great Mother, please. Please, do not take him from me, Great Mother.” You continued to sob and plead with Eywa and Neteyam’s heart as the boat exploded and a fire broke out. 

The yellow-orange light reflected in your eyes and the tears that stained your cheeks. You barely registered the warmth, unable to feel without Neteyam. 

---

You swam with the Sully family, close to Jake and Neytiri as they carried Neteyam’s body toward the Metkayina’s cove of ancestors. You had no idea whether the salted damp permanently on your cheeks was your tears or the ocean as the two had long-since become one and the same. You barely ate, you barely spoke. Everything felt as though you were fighting quicksand, too much effort for you. 

Jake and Neytiri had told you that you could swim his body down with them, but you refused, knowing that if you did, it was unlikely you would be able to bring yourself back to the surface without him. 

You and Lo’ak stayed by each other’s side, your hand holding his in a desperate attempt to not take in a breath of water. He held out his other hand toward his brother, while you squeezed your fist to your chest hoping the pinch of your nails into your palm would let you feel more than just numb. 

The glowing anemone reached out to Neteyam, pulling him down and into its warmth. His energy was being returned to Eywa. As the glow absorbed him you let out a sob, realising that he was gone. Your mate, the man who promised he would be by your side forever, was gone and had left you alone with a tightness in your throat and feeling as though there was part of your soul missing. 

Once you made your way back to your marui, you returned to the place you had been laying since you returned to Awa’atlu after being separated from Neteyam; the mat you had shared with Neteyam in the corner and wrapped in the blanked you had brought with you from your home with the Omatikaya clan, the blanket that still smelled so much like your mate. 

Every time you closed your eyes, Neteyam was there with his wide eyes and bright smile. You could still hear his laugh and feel his touch on your skin as you fell asleep. As you slept, you dreamt of the life you were supposed to have with him, by his side as you grew old together, starting your own family that would share the way he smiled and that look he got when he was flying on his ikran. 

You let out a sob and it broke Neytiri’s heart to hear as she passed by. She had seen the way her mother suffered after her father’s death, knowing that the bond of a mate left the living feeling less than themselves. And she herself had nearly lost her Jake once, and that pain was all consuming. Knowing that pain and mixing it with the grief she felt over losing her son, she could only imagine how you felt, so young and without your mate. 

Silently she entered, bowl of food in her hand. Neytiri knew you hadn’t eaten all day, and you were still a part of her family. She slowly crouched beside you and you jolted when you felt her hand on your shoulder. You sniffed, nose still blocked from the crying that never seemed to end, and looked down at the food she offered. You shook your head, having no appetite. Food would not solve the feeling that someone had opened your chest and removed your heart, the only solution to that was buried with the ancestors. 

“My sweet,” her words were soft, and you looked up at her with teary eyes, “are you ready to go to the Spirit Tree?” In the weeks since his death, Neytiri and Jake asked you this question in variation every day, hoping that seeing him in Eywa would ease your grief. They had learned quickly that saying Neteyam’s name visibly broke your already shattered heart even further, even more than the question itself. Neither were sure how long it would take until you were ready, but both did their best to keep you afloat in your grief.

Every time you thought of him, it felt as though you had breathed in water, your lungs heavy and your throat tight. Your breaths came in heaves, every inhale an effort against the thick air of loss. It was rare you were seen outside of your marui, the darkness within keeping you captive.

But you surprised Neytiri when you slowly shrugged off the blanket and nodded. She blinked down at you, but quickly offered you her hand. You took it, accepting her help in pulling you to your feet, the weight on the unused limbs causing you to wobble slightly. 

“I’m afraid.” Your voice was small, scratched from your tears and it’s lack of use. 

“Of what?” Neytiri left a comforting hand on your back, knowing that you may collapse into your consuming grief. 

“That the spirit with Eywa is from before we mated.” That was half true. 

After Jake and Neytiri returned from the Spirit Tree, Jake had told you that the Neteyam he saw was from when he was younger. If you saw that version, he may not even know that you were together at all. 

She hummed as your eyes itched. Neytiri knew you were hiding from her, and while she didn’t want to force your words, she wanted you to know that there was nothing to be ashamed of when it came to expressing your grief.

“And that I’ve forgotten his face.” That confession is what broke you, a whimpered sob breaking from your throat. “I see him everywhere and in everything. I see him when I sleep and I hear him when it’s quiet. But what if the face I remember isn’t the right one.” Neytiri stopped walking and guided you toward her in a hug. You cried freely as her hand ran circles on your back.

She didn’t need to speak, her presence enough. She was, in human terms, your mother-in-law, and she took that very seriously. You were her child, the mated soul of her son. Neytiri would protect you in every way she could and that included keeping you safe from self-destructing in your grief and comforting you in your fears. 

You sucked in a shuddered breath and pulled yourself away from her, apologising for your tears that stuck to her skin. Neytiri waved you off and let you choose the direction to continue in: either back to your marui or toward the Spirit Tree.

---

You sucked in a deep breath before bending at the waist and swimming down toward the glowing tendrils of the Metkayina clan’s Spirit Tree. The cool glow reflected off your skin and you squeezed your eyes closed as you reached behind you and took hold of your braided queue. 

Eywa, please. Let me see My Neteyam again.

You were home again. Back in the deep forest, feet padding along the glowing moss. You pushed aside the familiar branches that revealed the clearing. Your clearing. The place of your first kiss, where he proposed, where you mated. 

You looked around, already tearing up again (a seemingly constant state for you) at being home, when the sound of a pebble bouncing along the water met you. Your ears flicked toward the sound, and your head quickly followed.

Squatting by the pond, arm still extended from the throw, was Neteyam. You let out a short, shuddered breath at the sight of him, and you saw his ears flick. 

He turned, eyes bright and smile warm, his chest showing no sign of the wound that took him from you. Neteyam was exactly as you saw him when you closed your eyes.

“Ma y/n!” At the sound of his voice, the tears broke free and his face dropped, immediately rushing over to you and bringing his hands to your upper arms. “Yawne, what’s wrong?” You shook your head, not wanting him to worry about you. He brought one hand to your chin and you leaned into it. 

“I’m just-” your voice cracked, “I’m so happy to see you.” He tilted his head with a soft smile, leaning down to press his forehead against your own. 

“I’ve missed you.” You felt his breath on your lips and more tears rolled down your flushed cheeks, though they were quickly wiped away by his thumb. You tilted your head to kiss him, ignoring the saltiness of the tears that stuck to your lips. 

“I don’t want to leave you.” Your voice was wet with tears, and Neteyam leaned back to look at you.

“Yawne, I am always with you.” You shook your head but he continued to speak. “But you cannot stay here forever. Not yet.” Neteyam kissed you slowly, pouring out the love that he held for you and making up for the kisses you had missed since his death. 

You opened your mouth to ask why not, but you felt a pain in your lungs. A pain that pulled you away from Neteyam and back to the ocean as your body begged for breath. 

reblogs and kind words are always appreciated!!

tagging: @websterss

[stylesispunk]

The great war | part I |

"And maybe it was egos swinging, maybe it was her, flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur"

part 2, part 3 part 4, part 5 | masterlist

series summary: After things fell apart it seemed that Joel and you were falling into pieces.

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

warning: angst, established relationship (complicated though) hints to cheating, age gap (Reader is in her late 20s, Joel is in his late 40s), mentions of stillborn baby, please don't read if you feel it triggers.

A/n: English is not my first language and it has been YEARS since I last wrote something that wasn't academic or formal for my job, so please forgive any mistake. (I´m posting it before I regret it and I delete it)

Three weeks had passed since that night and currently, things weren't fine. 

It seemed that you had barely seen Joel these days, other than sleeping next to each other. 

You watched Joel from your seat on the front porch of your house.  You were enveloped by the bracing air that gently kissed your cheeks. The surroundings were adorned with a soft layer of snow, lending an ethereal scene. The same scene you were witnessing in front of you. You watched with intrigue as he and her interacted nearby. Their voices carried through the coldness, their laughter creating a soft warmth in the chilly air. 

You felt betrayed. 

He didn't spend time with you. What is more, he'd spent every day since that day with Lucy. And you knew, in the bottom of your heart that she felt like a wave of fresh air for Joel. She was kind, brave, strong, and a beautiful woman. She reminded him of you, but happier. A happy soul, free from the trauma you had been through. It seemed like he enjoyed the days with her. He seemed happier.

And you didn't.

A pang of jealousy bubbled inside you

He was laughing with another woman.

He was finding comfort in another person.

He was laughing.

and you were grieving.

"You two ever going to speak again?" Ellie spoke gently, taking a seat next to her on the bench. 

"Drop it, Ellie. I can't handle this right now" Your voice, hoarse

"I'm sorry, but I can't just ignore how much you're hurting. You need to talk about it." 

You inhale and sigh before speaking again " I don't know how, Ellie. Every time I look at him, I'm reminded of that night."

"I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. But you can't blame him entirely."

As Ellie's words settled in, you felt a mix of emotions swirling within you. The pain from that night still lingered, leaving you vulnerable and guarded. It was difficult for you to see beyond that hurt. 

"It's not just that. I feel so isolated. Look at him, he seems pretty happy with Lucy", you admitted, rubbing your face in frustration. 

Ellie reached out your hand to hold it and give some kind of comfort

" It's okay to feel lost and confused right now. Emotions are complicated, especially after what happened" she spoke softly.

Your tears were already streaming down your cheeks.

"It hurts so much, Ellie. I can't see a way to move past this." 

Ellie couldn't take it anymore and wrapped her arms around you

"I know it's hard, but you're stronger than you realize. You're ready, talk to him" 

Sniffling, you said "I don't even know where to start" You finally took a deep breath. "But it's worth a try. I don't want to lose him either."

Ellie smiled, wiping your tears. "You won't lose me, never, nor him. We're a family"

You sat there in silence for a moment, a sense of comfort settling between the both of you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat silently as the weight of your heartache and your worst nightmares consumed you. Ellie had fallen asleep, leaving you with the perfect opportunity to speak to Joel, who had just returned home.

He seemed surprised when he saw you standing there in your living room. You had been avoiding him for the last three weeks. 

You approached him carefully.

"I can make dinner," You piped up, trying to mask your deep emotions with a hopeful smile. "And maybe we could finally talk" your voice, unsure. 

but surprisingly, Joel's response was cold and defensive "Now you wanna talk? I already ate with Lucy and the guys."

Rhia's heart sank at the mention of Lucy, the woman who had seemingly captured Joel's attention. 

She couldn't bear it anymore, so she voiced her feelings "I'm glad you're having fun with her."

Joel chuckled, but Rhia saw through the facade. "You're being unfair, you know," he retorted.

The tension in the air was palpable, and Rhia's emotions overflowed. 

"Rhia". He began "You're hurting, and I understand, but..."

She interrupted with a low voice "Understand? It wasn't you who had to-" Rhia couldn't hold

"I lost a child before, Rhia", Joel admitted solemnly. "And you're not the only one who lost her. She was my child too." 

Rhia couldn't hold the pain anymore. She couldn't bear the weight of her grief. "It was me who birthed a baby who did not survive. It was me the one who killed her own baby! I- I'm broke. I can't sleep. And all you do is spend time with Lucy as if it's your way of coping."

"I'm not spending all the time with her " Joel's face hardened. "But we both know, at least she-"

"At least she what?" Rhia pushed.

"She is not weak" Joel stated firmly.

Rhia chuckled bitterly, her pain transforming into resentment. She felt betrayed.

"Do you like her?" feeling she was finally losing the man in front of her. 

Joel's silence confirmed her worst fears, and even if it wasn't true, he couldn't control her voice anymore, and her voice trembled "You like her. Go to her. Sleep with her, and have a baby with her. Maybe she can keep that baby alive." The last hurt her more. 

Joel's response was bitter and venomous, leaving Rhia feeling sick. "Maybe I will" he spat, taking steps towards her "Maybe I will sleep with her". 

Tears streamed down your cheeks as your heart broke all over again within those weeks and before you could even say something, Ellie came running down the stairs.

"Take that back, you asshole!" Ellie pointed at Joel, her voice filled with anger and defiance.

Rhia tried to handle the situation, urging Ellie to go back to her room, but the young girl wouldn't budge. Her heart ached for the woman who was the closest thing she had as a mother. 

Tears streamed down your cheeks. Her heart ached. 

"Ellie, go to your room," You whispered, pleading with her.

"Rhia..." Ellie pleaded, concerned. 

"It's okay. I will handle this," Your voice barely audible, the last bit of strength. 

Ellie reluctantly agreed and walked back upstairs, not before sending daggers to Joel.

"Rhia, promise me you won't leave."

"I promise" Your voice 

Left alone again with Joel, Rhia felt her heart breaking as he took a few steps toward her. She couldn't bear to be near him anymore.

"Stop. Please." Rhia's voice was filled with heartbreak.

Joel whispered her name, trying to reach out to her, but Rhia yanked her arm away, unable to be physically touched by him. 

"No. Fuck you. You can't take that back" she declared; her voice determined.

She knew what she had to do now. "This is over. I'm done with you," she said, defeated. 

Joel stood there, speechless. 

Rhia turned away from him, walking upstairs. She made up her mind.

She was leaving him in the morning, even if it meant breaking her promise to Ellie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel arrived home early in the morning. A bouquet of flowers in his hands, an attempt to mend the hurt he caused the previous night. He knew the hurtful words he had said had caused permanent pain in her heart, but he was determined to go to war for you. He just loved you that much. 

But as he stepped inside, he stopped abruptly when he saw Ellie sitting there, tears streaming down her cheeks, holding a piece of paper in her hands.

His heart pounded in his chest. 

The sight of Ellie

The sight of you last night.

He felt like his heart might stop forever when Ellie looked at him in the eyes, motionless. 

"She left, you asshole."

---------

A/N: I don't feel satisfied by this, I did it just for fun, but if you read it, thank you so much 🥺 feel free to comment or send me questions if you have any, kisses for you 🥺❤️

[lazykatie]

What could have happened AFTER the Castlecoming Ball (Part 3)

You can find

What could’ve happened at Castlecoming Week here (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

and

What could have happened AFTER the Castlecoming Ball here (Part 1, Part 2)

Bridget stood in the silence of her room, the echoes of Ella’s footsteps fading away. The door clicked shut, sealing off the world outside. She felt a strange mixture of relief and emptiness wash over her. The confrontation had been therapeutic yet painful, a reminder of everything she had lost. 

Still, a feeling of betrayal made her clench her fist and lightly pounded on the door. Kneeling in front of it, tears streamed down her cheeks, each drop a reminder of the hurt she felt. The heavy weight of grief made her breathing shaky.

A glimmer of the jeweled pocket mirror caught Bridget’s attention as it lay on the floor. With desperation and sadness, she pulled the Looking Glass closer. It reminded her of the past, the lost hopes, and the entirely different future she could’ve had.

If she hadn’t been so optimistic and used it, would she have avoided the fate that had befallen her? Would she be celebrating instead of drowning in sorrow? Her mind swirled with painful “what ifs,” each thought a sharp sting against her heart. What if Ella hasn't left her side? What if Hook never offered to dance with her? What if she hadn't offered Uliana the flamingo cupcake days ago? 

As she stared into the Looking Glass, memories of the Castlecoming Ball flooded back, particularly the moment she isolated herself after the prank. 

~~~

After Hook turned her back to normal, Bridget rushed back to her dorm room, her heart racing with a mix of relief and confusion. The click of the door echoed in the silence as she spread her arms wide, letting herself fall onto her cozy bed. The bed felt soft yet foreign, enveloping her in an unsettling comfort.

She buried her face in the pillows, inhaling their familiar scent. The familiar scent of her pillows brought a fleeting sense of safety, but it did little to calm the storm inside her. The laughter and music from the ball seemed like a distant memory, overshadowed by the humiliation she had faced.

As she lay there, the Looking Glass glinted in the dim light, catching her attention. She picked it up, her fingers trembling slightly. What if she had a glimpse of her future? Would it show her how to escape this nightmare? But what if looking into her future would cause her more pain?

She debated within herself. The Looking Glass—a family heirloom—has been passed down from one generation to another but there her mother rarely used it. There were also stories (historical records) that the Looking Glass doesn’t always show the right future. If she were to use it right now, would she be able to avoid it if the Looking Glass showed an unpleasant future?

With a deep breath, she held the glass to her face, whispering a silent wish for clarity. The surface shimmered a flicker of light—a vision of herself, standing strong and confident, her hair no longer pink but crimson—blood red. The image then twisted, darkening into a scene of isolation and despair as she saw the border to Wonderland being closed off as if echoing her current reality of being isolated from the rest.

Bridget’s heart sank. Was this really her fate? Would she remain trapped in this cycle of hurt, betrayal, and isolation? But that wouldn’t matter eventually, right? She saw a strong and powerful Bridget that could hold off on her own. 

Even if she saw what she liked, anger still bubbled within her. It quickly morphed into something darker—a creeping madness that whispered insidious thoughts into her mind. Her thoughts spiraled into self-loathing, questioning her worth and feeling betrayed by those she trusted. The thought of her always being the outsider.

A fog of voices began to swirl around her, echoing her self-doubt and despair. 

“You’re so gullible,” one sneered. 

“You’ll always be alone,” another hissed. 

“Even your so-called friend didn't want you.” 

The shouts grew louder, drowning out her thoughts, and she pressed her hands to her ears, desperate for silence.

“Just embrace us,” one suggested 

“You’ll need us.”

Not taking these ramblings any longer, she stood up. Her eyes wildly glowing red. The room felt like it was closing in on her. She needed to release this energy, this pain. Her gaze landed on a shadow near the lamp. Without thinking, she reached for her deck of cards, feeling the power thrumming beneath her skin. Her body trembled with energy coursing through her veins, her skin tingling as if charged with static.

With a flick of her wrist, the cards flew from her hand, striking the lamp with a sharp crack. The sound of shattering glass was a symphony of chaos that resonated deep within her. Each crack felt like a release of pent-up frustration. As the shards scattered across the floor, a wave of relief washed over her, momentarily drowning out the voices in her head.

Feeling the surge of power, Bridget picked up one of her cards. Analyzing it, she ran her index finger to its edges. The card became sharp as a knife and sliced through her finger. The sharp sting of the card slicing through her skin sent a jolt of shock through her. As she dropped the card, her blood welled up, warm and vivid against her pale skin. As she stared intently at the blood, the voices started ringing again in her ears.  

Unlike earlier, the voices only grew louder, more insistent. 

“You should have escaped this place,” they taunted. 

“Naive little princess.”

“Watch who you trust, princess.” 

Bridget’s nails dug into the walls as she scratched at the rough wallpaper, its texture scraping as she clawed at it in desperation. The pain shot through her fingers, a sharp reminder of her reality, yet it was almost comforting—an anchor amidst the storm of her emotions.

“Shut up!” she screamed, her voice a raw mixture of anger and despair. The walls felt solid, yet they seemed to mock her, standing tall against her unraveling sanity.

The Looking Glass slipped from her fingers, falling to the ground but she barely noticed. All she could focus on was the whirlwind of emotions threatening to consume her. The darkness around her deepened, and she could feel her sanity slipping away. 

“You’re not just a princess,” one whispered.

“You’re a powerful princess,” another added.

In that moment, Bridget realized she was something more—something powerful. But with that power came an overwhelming burden. As the voices continued to haunt her, she knew she had to confront this madness within, or it would consume her entirely.

The voices began to transform into a lullaby instead of a nightmare, whispering sweet promises of revenge. Revenge on Ella. Revenge on Uliana. Revenge on all who laughed at her—disrespected her. 

Her eyes grew heavy as she lay on the floor amidst the shards. Surprisingly, the shards felt more comfortable than the pain she was feeling inside. She couldn’t fight the sleep that called her, nor the voices that now urged her to trust in them. Bridget embraced them both as she closed her eyes, teleporting her into the dream world. The dream world that was once filled with pink, sugar, and nice, is now a world engulfed in blood red.

~~~

Bridget was jolted back to reality by the sounds of laughter outside, the vibrant chatter of students saying their farewells as they returned to their dorms. The night has deepened once more, but she promised herself that tomorrow will be different.

Tomorrow, she would rise earlier than usual and run some errands. It was time for a makeover. Time to change everything. Time to seek out the Bridget, the Princess—no—the Queen of Hearts from the Looking Glass. It’s time for the people of this world and the people of Wonderland to show her the respect that she deserves.

As she lay on the floor, a new determination began to bloom within her. The whispers of revenge intertwined with her resolve, igniting a fire in her heart. She would no longer be a victim; she would become the author of her destiny.

Bridget took a deep breath, her mind racing with possibilities. Tomorrow, she will reclaim her power. Tomorrow, she will begin her transformation. As she embraced the whispers of revenge, a chilling realization settled in her bones: the power she sought would come at a price. 

But in her quest for respect and vengeance, she would unleash a darkness that could consume not only her but everyone she once held dear. A transformation that would go down in history as the most ruthless tyrant Wonderland has ever seen, and a transformation into the very monster she feared.

~~~

A/N: This chapter feels like my 3am thoughts :> (minus the revenge and breaking stuff part...I guess) I hope you guys like this!

Happy reading everyone!

[infiniteglitterfall]

listen i know everyone wants to help but for fuck's sake, vetting a gofundme does not mean saying so-and-so vetted it. there needs to be some kind of reason given, somewhere, by someone.

if you want to be really generous, there should AT LEAST be a reblog, by blog-you-trust-that-actually-supposedly-vets-people-somehow, saying they vetted it and it's a real fundraiser.

but realistically, anyone claiming to vet fundraisers should be saying what they do to vet them. something. anything. fucking transparency of some sort.

i cannot even tell you anymore how many gofundmes i've seen that claim to be for people in gaza, with posts saying they were vetted by this or that blog right here!

and then that links to... the blog they're claiming vetted it, just reblogging it. not saying they vetted it. just smashing that reblog button in passing for whatever reason.

Or to a reblog by someone ELSE claiming that some blog vetted it.

Or to a Google Sheet that says it's a list of vetted gofundmes, which doesn't have any information at all about almost any of them.

And ALL the ones I've looked at recently have conflicting information, too.

Like: the Tumblr post about the gofundme will say this person is starving and their brother needs medical care urgently because he has the autisms and their life was beautiful before the war and they've lost their home and their entire family needs help. But then the gofundme itself will say they're trying to raise money to rebuild their home. And then ask for a strangely low amount, like $60k.

(Yeah, I know, exchange rates and costs of living vary. But nobody is rebuilding their home in the middle of a war. Nobody can give you an estimate for what it will eventually cost in the middle of a war. The building could get hit again. The number of people rebuilding all at once could drive up the cost of materials and labor. Etc.)

I saw one last week that was supposed to be for a computer science student whose entire family had infections, and needed cleaning supplies and urgent medical supplies stat.

And it said she was living with her family and then all her five siblings had joined with their families, so it was.... five families. Which doesn't add up.

But then the gofundme said they needed $5k each to leave the country, for a total of $50k, which means 10 people, which doesn't seem like enough to cover five (or six) families.

But then, Egypt (or the company it contracts with) has been charging $5k for women and children but $10k for men, and how can it just be $5k a person for her family? A

nd then people were urgently reblogging it, saying they needed to raise the full $50k within like 3 days so the family wouldn't have to choose between food and cleaning supplies?? (You can withdraw money on gofundme before you're done fundraising, so it wasn't that.)

It had a fuckton of reblogs and had raised something like $38k of the $50k already. And just.

It would be nice to go, "oh, it's probably fine, it's always good to help people."

But at this point, what I'm seeing has already passed "people are being scammed," and is approaching "big, trusted bloggers might be organizing scams."